#this is not to say people that are close in age aren’t close. my mom and her brother are close

[steddieas-shegoes]

AU where Steve has decent parents. They aren’t great, but they’re not bad. They show up for major things and tell him they love him, but they don’t understand him. They don’t get that he needs more than that.

So Steve’s nanny keeps in contact with him even after she’s let go because “Steve doesn’t need looking after” at the age of 10. She checks in with him all the time.

Ms. Munson is always bringing him a dish from her own dinner with her brother and son, making sure he has someone at the awards days at school, makes sure he has gifts at Christmas that he’ll actually like.

But she never invites him to her home and it doesn’t hit him until his senior year of high school that she’s Eddie Munson’s mom, that they live in the trailer park that he was never allowed to go to, that her brother must be Wayne, who took him fishing once when he got his heart broken by his first girlfriend.

He’s a different person now, but not to Eddie.

As time goes on, and he experiences more trauma than any single person should, and he gets Robin as a platonic soulmate, he realizes that Ms. Munson still shows up. His parents don’t bother much anymore, but she does.

And two days before spring break of ‘86, she sends Eddie to Steve’s house with a care package.

When Steve shuffles through the items, he nearly chokes on his own spit when he finds a bag of pre-rolled joints.

Eddie comes up with excuses, brushes it off as just a friendly gesture for someone his mom cares so much about.

But Steve won’t hear it. He asks him to stay and smoke one with him, take the edge off since he’s been dealing with midterms.

They get high on his back patio, talking and laughing late into the night, so late that Eddie almost worries he’ll have to go to school in his clothes from the day before.

Steve won’t hear it, offers his shower and his “most metal” clothes- his only black jeans and a plain white t-shirt with the sleeves cut off- and says he can sleep there for the couple of hours left before school.

Eddie wakes up to Steve making coffee and toast, using the jam his mom had included in the care package and a smile that made Eddie’s cynical heart flop in his chest.

Eddie didn’t think the next time he saw Steve would be when he was holding a broken bottle to his neck, terrified of everything and everyone, but the moment they had a second alone, Steve hugged him close.

“It’s a shit way to be welcomed into the group officially, but I’m glad you’re not alone.”

Steve and Eddie were inseparable while fighting Vecna, both of them insistent on protecting the kids.

When Steve managed to get Eddie to the motel the Munsons were staying in after El managed to get rid of Vecna, Ms. Munson was standing at the door with tears in her eyes.

“My boys.”

She patched them up, better than any doctor probably would have, giving them small kisses on the head when they winced in pain.

And eventually, she tucked them into one of the beds in the room, ignoring how they hadn’t stopped holding hands for the entire night.

She’d been hesitant to introduce them; Eddie, for all his talk of accepting people for who they are, struggled to accept how much she did for Steve, not understanding why he may need it.

But it seemed like she didn’t need to force anything. They found their way together in the end.

[luveline]

I adore your 'kisses before dinner' au. Bethie has my entire heart <3!!!

Is it possible to request a fic where Bethie is in a stage of wanting to dress similarly and wear makeup like mom!reader? And Steve catches the lovely moment of them getting together for their mommy/daughter date and marvels at his pretty girls? 🥹<3

thank you for requesting!! mom!reader

“I want to wear blue.” 

“Yes,” you say, dragging out the soft ‘s’. “Your favourite colour out of all of the colours, mommy remembers.” 

Bethie smiles and looks down at your feet. “Yeah, mommy.” 

You reach for her face, cupping it in two loving hands to encourage her to look up again. Your fingers cover the side of her heads, your thumb rubbing sweet, gentle circles into her cheeks. “You know how you told dad you wanted to dress like me?” 

“Yeah,” she says, holding your wrist. She has very little hands, even for her age. 

“Well, I’ve got us dresses that are nearly the same one, and they’re blue. Should we have a look at them?” 

You and Bethie kneel by the dresser to unearth the paper bag you’ve tucked away in the bottom drawer under Steve’s socks and underwear. Bethie waits patiently, quiet and still, her hand tucked under her legs to stop from snatching. You admire her dedication to being well-behaved. “Baby, you can touch them! They’re for us!” 

Steve gets really worried about Bethie being shy, and he can’t understand it. “You aren’t shy!” he’d said to you before, “And I’m not shy, I don’t get it, I really don’t. All her favourite people are loud.” 

“We aren’t shy now, Steve. But you were a quiet kid, right? That’s what your mom said.”

“My mom would tell you the sun is blue to spite me.” But he’d conceded. Steve doesn’t mind if Bethie’s shy, he just wants what’s best for her, and being shy can be awful. 

Building her confidence was a big reason behind these mommy-daughter dates. Building her confidence, tackling Avery’s want for affection (which she deserves to have), and getting Dove out of the house —you love getting to have them one on one. You and Steve are gonna switch out after this set. He had big plans for his dates. 

You’re trying to keep it simple. You and Bethie pull on your matching dresses and dark tights while your shoes wait for you downstairs. You'd tackled her hair that morning, leaving makeup as your last port of call. “Alright,” you command, patting your lap where you sit cross-legged on the floor, “come here, sweetpea.” 

She lets out one of those happy-excited gasps that only kids seem to be able to make and hurries into your lap. You hear Steve’s footsteps on the stairs as she sits, your pretty husband edging open the door with his foot to peek inside. You smile at him, hoping it says to come inside. 

“Can I have, um, lip gloss? The pink one? That you always say gives sticky kisses?” Bethie asks.

“Yeah, for sure. I thought we’d powder your face first, how’s that?” 

She nods and closes her eyes. You pout at Steve, summoning him to sneak to the bed so he can see her tightly squeezed eyelids and her lips puckered for gloss. He puts his hand on his heart. 

He melts more and more as you go. Bethie relaxes her eyes the longer her makeup takes, though you only add little tiny dabs of everything. A dusting of powder, a short patting of crème blush on her cheeks. 

“Last but not least,” you say, gliding the pad of the lip gloss applicator  over her bottom lip. “Rub your lips together.” 

“Like this?” She rubs her lips, gloss spreading up into her cupid’s bow and under her nose. 

You wipe the smudge away with your pinky nail. “Perfect.” 

“You can say that again.” 

Steve doesn’t sound like he’s joking. He clutches the fabric of his t-shirt just below his heart, totally in love as Beth opens her eyes to smile at him shyly. “You look amazing,” he says, fingers tapping his chest in emphasis. “Beth, you look so pretty.” 

“You think so?” 

Steve sits on the end of the bed to hold her hand. He’s soft with his touches, caressing her arm with his other hand as he says, “Of course I do. How about you blow mommy off and go on a date with me tonight instead?”

She giggles. “No, daddy!” 

“You don’t wanna go out with me instead?” He ruffles his hair. “Is it the way I look?” 

“No, me and mom are gonna go to the pizza party at the bowling alley,” she says. 

“I like bowling.” 

“For time together,” she says, flopping into Steve’s arms to hug his front. “It’s okay, dad, I’m coming back.” 

“You are?” He kisses her forehead, meeting your eyes over her head, fondness in their slight squint and furrow of his brow. “That’s good. Miss you too much if you didn’t.” 

[bookshelf-dust]

all the time

steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 7,206

warnings: swearing, brief mentions of alcohol, family drama, best friends to lovers type beat (lemme know if i missed anything, as always)

a/n: this got pretty long, and i’m sorry about that. i put a steve option in my 1k celebration poll, and i haven’t been able to get over it, so that’s what this is. i thought i could try it out. i haven’t really had this much fun with a fic in a long time. i know my steve audience isn’t as big, but i guess there’s a chance someone might like it.

————

The crumbs from your crackers drop into your lap, the crease of your book catching them. You set your spoon back down, flipping the hardback over to ensure no crumb will be left lingering in between the pages. 

You’re curled into the end chair at the table, just as always, legs crossed and book nestled against your bare legs. Your parents sit across from each other, talking about whatever, but you aren’t listening. 

You dunk a cracker in your soup, holding it there for a moment to let it soak up the broth, before tossing it into your mouth. You continue on this way—alternating between scooping up noodles or chicken and drowning saltines—until you have nothing left but the dregs in your bowl. 

You mark the page in your book, tuck it under your thigh. You’re tipping the bowl backwards, drinking the rest of the soup, when your mother says your name loudly enough to tear you from your stupor. 

You swallow and wipe your mouth haphazardly with a napkin. “What?”

“Your father and I were just talking about your sister’s wedding.”

You raise your eyebrows, wondering if she’s actually being serious. 

“No shit.”

Your father sets his cup down, glaring at you. “Language.”

“Sorry,” you say, though there’s no real meaning in the word. 

Your sister has told practically every goddamn person in Hawkins that she’s getting married at the end of the month. Everyone is talking about her wedding. A wedding that you don’t give one singular fuck about. 

She’s marrying her high school sweetheart, they’re moving into a sweet new house in the suburbs, blah blah blah. She’s doing the same shit every other peaked-in-high-school woman her age is doing. And you can’t be bothered to care. 

Not only that, but you have to be a bridesmaid. You’re not very close with your sister, so her choosing another friend as her maid of honor really didn’t hurt you. Frankly, you would’ve been fine if she’d left you out of the bridal party completely. 

None of this is really as spectacular as everyone’s made it out to be. 

“Anyhow,” your mother begins, “you know she’s allowing her guests to bring a plus one.” She pauses, and you raise your eyebrows again, not understanding the need for dramatics here. 

“Well, she asked if you were going to bring someone, and I told her that you were.”

You push back from the table, entirely too confused. “What?”

“Honey, don’t get so frantic. I didn’t think you would want to be alone, especially considering your attitude towards the entire function.”

You take a deep breath, pressing your fingers into your eyelids. 

“I thought you could bring that boyfriend of yours. Actually, that’s what I told her. She’s already put in the name for a place card.”

“Mom, are you out of your mind?” 

She gasps, taking a sip of her wine to gather herself. Your father chooses this moment to begin clearing up the table. 

“I don’t have a boyfriend!” you exclaim. 

Her eyes widen. “What do you mean? I told her you’d bring that boy, Steve. You spend an awful lot of time with him for him to not be your boyfriend.” 

You feel like you’re choking on air. Like your dinner is going to come up if she doesn’t cut this out. “That’s because he’s my friend!” 

“You’re always with him, sweetie. Much more than I ever was with any of my male friends.” She clearly doesn’t believe that he’s not your boyfriend. Like it’s impossible that he isn’t.  

You shove past her and into the kitchen, utterly exasperated. Why are people making decisions for you? Why is your mother suddenly proclaiming to everyone that you’re in a relationship you didn’t even know you were in?

When you turn around from facing the sink, both of your parents are staring at you. “What now? Something else you’ve told the whole damn town about me?” 

Your mother reaches out to you, but you brush her off. You’re a little too pissed for any sort of cooing right now. 

“I’m sorry I assumed he was your boyfriend, honey. But you have to bring him, or else the family will ask questions and there will be an empty space next to you. Personally, I’d find that embarrassing.”

You push your way out of the kitchen, more than done with this situation. “You’ll be lucky if I even go to the damn wedding. And, personally, I wouldn’t go blabbing about things I’ve just assumed about my own daughter rather than just talking about them with her.”

When you turn down the hall, your father is rubbing his forehead, and your mother is looking at you like you should be grateful for her having assured you have company for the big event. 

“This could be good for you!” she shouts, and your only response is the slam of your bedroom door. 

In hindsight, of course the slam was childish, but you really can’t believe your mother. 

You’ve never been so frustrated with her in your life. And yeah, you’ll go to the wedding, but what gave her the right to do that? This is your life. Not hers. 

Normally, you would call Steve about something like this, but shit, you can’t. 

Steve. As your boyfriend? 

That’s too much for your brain to handle right now. You throw yourself on the bed and call it a night. 

————

“So, let me get this straight,” Robin begins, holding up her hands so as to count off your main points. “Your mother just told everyone that you have a boyfriend, that this boyfriend is Steve, of all people, and that he’s your plus one to your bitchy sister’s wedding?” 

The countertop is cold when you press your forehead against it. “Yes,” you whine. 

You’d gotten up first thing this morning and head to Family Video, needing to spill your guts to the one and only person who would surely match your energy and try to help you handle the situation. 

Your arms are laid out in front of you, hands dangling over the edge of the counter and reaching for Robin on the other side. She grabs hold of them and squeezes. “That’s one hell of a pickle you’re in. But! Lucky for you, I’m gonna help you figure it out.”

You squeeze her hands back, only to jerk your head up at an alarmingly fast rate. Robin cringes like you’re going to give yourself whiplash. You’ve just had an absolutely terrifying thought.

“Steve’s not working today, is he?”

Robin tries to think off the top of her head, but there are too many thoughts rambling around in there, so she’s quick to consult the schedule pinned to the wall behind her. She probably could’ve told you the times of each of his shifts if only you hadn’t asked. 

“He won’t come in until this afternoon. Three-thirty, to be exact.”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. “Thank fuck. I’m not ready to see him yet. He’s going to notice something’s wrong and then he’ll want to talk about it and then it’ll just be a big fat shit show.”

Robin props her chin up with her hand, elbow resting against the green countertop. “You know, maybe that’s a good thing. He already knows you so well that he’ll probably make a great boyfriend.”

“Robin, what?” 

She’s plotting and you’ve never felt more afraid. 

“Well, you can’t just not take him to the wedding after all of this, right? It would be ten times messier now that your mom has told all of Hawkins that Steve Harrington is your boyfriend. And you know he’ll agree to go, being ‘Mr. Nice Guy’ and whatnot. Besides, you’ve gotta admit that there’s chemistry between the two of you.”

You go to speak, but she holds a hand up to stop you. 

“So you tell him about your little predicament, and maybe he can just act as your boyfriend for the night?” She smiles nervously, shoulders rising in slight fear of your reaction. “You two are best friends, no one’s bound to be the wiser.”

“Robin, are you suggesting that I just fake-date the man?”

She raises her hands in a don’t-shoot-the-messenger gesture. “What’s the harm in it? It’s just a one time thing. You go, you get it over with, and Steve will be there the whole time. It’ll be totally fine.” 

You drag your hands down your face, peeking at her through your fingers. This is insane. This is fucking delusional. But it could work, couldn’t it?

A customer comes in, and you step to the side while Robin helps them at the counter. Chemistry? Maybe Robin’s right. Not that you’d ever tell her that. 

Last Valentine’s, Steve showed up at your place after dark, flowers in hand, knowing full well that you hate the holiday. “I just wanted you to feel special,” he’d said. “And I love you and everything.” You’ve been saying that to each other for forever it seems. And you mean it. He’s your best friend. But now you’re wondering if maybe he means it in a different way. Or if that’s just what you want to think. 

Steve doesn’t know that you pressed a few of the flowers to keep, or that you’ve saved the stubs from the movies you’ve seen together. You think about how he holds your hand on the way up the theater stairs, keeping you from tripping and spilling popcorn everywhere. How he offers to go out with you when you need to be away from home, not wanting to leave you alone. That he takes your bag from you the second he notices you adjusting it, straps digging into your shoulder. 

Your hands start to sweat, and you feel like this could either go just as Robin’s told you, or it could go really fucking badly. 

“Hello? Anyone home?” Robin’s voice breaks you out of your stupor. She’s waving her hand in front of your face. 

“Listen honey, I can see your brain working from here. I know you’re coming up with every possible way that this could go wrong. Just talk to him! It might go really well. You never know.”

Robin boops you on the nose and starts to walk towards the staff room. It’s her way of signaling that you need to get your shit together. 

“Good luck! I love you!”

You grab your keys and make for the door, flipping her off as you go. She only blows a kiss in response.

————

You’d been pacing your room when Steve called and offered to take you to the bookstore. Really he just wanted to spend time with you, and you needed to spill your guts. You spent an hour contemplating calling him, going over to see him, maybe even just cutting yourself off from him as a whole. In fact, cutting yourself off from the world had crossed your mind, but he’d since prevented that. 

Now Steve hovers behind you while you wander down an aisle filled with mystery novels. None of them are catching your eye.

There’s a warmth behind you, and you look up to see Steve. He reaches above your head, one hand on your waist, and pulls something down. He flips it around in his hands before holding it out to you. “What about this one?”

Surprisingly enough it does sound vaguely interesting. “You have to read it after I do.”

He grins. “Yes ma'am.” 

And we will read it. You know that he will because he’s done it before. He’s sat on your couch and blabbed about books to you, whining about this character, asking you a question about that plotline. Robin’s voice chirps in your head. Chemistry. Shit. 

Steve takes the book back from you. He never lets you carry anything. 

You walk further into the store, your feet carrying you to the same places they always do. You end up in a quiet corner, and your heart rate picks up. Not telling him is only hurting you more. You take a deep breath.

“Steve, I gotta tell you something.”

He crosses his arms and leans against the end cap. “Shoot.”

“You know how my sister is getting married?”

He snorts. “Yeah, I’d say I’m familiar with the event.”

You’d smile if it weren’t for the fact that you feel like you might puke at any moment. “Well she decided that guests could have a plus one.” Steve hates the way he warms up at that. At the fact that he wants you to take him. He nods, encouraging you to continue. 

“Well my mother decided to tell everyone that I’d bring you. As my boyfriend.”

Steve coughs, and your head jerks in his direction. “Your boyfriend?”

You press your hands together. “Yeah. She said she assumed that we were dating because we’re always together, and when my sister asked if I’d be bringing someone, she just told her that it would be you.”

You make eye contact with Steve. His cheeks have gone red. “So naturally, she’s already had your nameplate printed. And now, what I’m saying is that I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend and go to my sister’s wedding with me.” The last part spills out of your mouth faster than you’d intended. 

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and you start to panic. It’s as if you’ve been sent into overdrive, like every sense in your body is on high alert. If this goes wrong, Robin’s ass is grass. 

You back into the corner of the aisle, book spines pressing into your back. “I realize I said I need you to do this, but I should have prefaced it by saying that of course you don’t have to, and I don’t expect you to–”

“I’ll do it.”

Steve pushes his hair back from his forehead. 

“What?”

“I said I’ll do it. I don’t mind.”

“Steve, are you sure?”

He’s moving into your personal space bubble, hands grasping for your arms where you’ve tucked them behind your back. He pulls them out, hands sliding down your forearms until he’s got your hands in his. His palms are warm, and you can’t help but notice how big his hands are. There’s a ring on his pinky finger too, and it takes you by surprise, considering he’s not usually one for jewelry. You’ll have to ask him about it later, assuming you survive this. 

“I’m sure. I’m not just going to let you show up after your mom did all that shit. She’s more trouble than she’s worth, if you ask me. But I promise, I don’t mind. I’ll go and be your boyfriend. I don’t know how good I’ll be, but hey…we’ll see.”

You pull your hand away to smack him on the arm. He winces like you’ve brutally wounded him. 

“Don’t you dare say that, Steven. You’d make an excellent fake boyfriend. And a kickass real one. Don’t let me hear that shit again.”

You let go of him and start to walk away. 

Steve chuckles. “Or what?”

“Or I’ll beat your ass, Harrington. And you’d definitely lose that one.”

He catches up to you and his hands find your waist again, though he struggles to hold on when you’re continually moving.

“Hey,” he pouts, his bottom lip jutting out at you. “Not fair.”

You look back up at him and reach up to pat his cheek. It’s warmer than you’d expected, and still all rosy. “Sorry, sorry.”

“That’s not very nice of a fake girlfriend.” 

You snort. “Ha! I guess my fake girlfriend skills aren’t up to the great Steve Harrington’s standards.”

“You’re being so mean to me today.” He rests his chin on your shoulder while you pick through a sale pile. 

“Only yanking your chain, dearest.” 

He chuckles, and you can feel his breath against your neck. 

You start to wonder if maybe everyone has a point. You do spend the majority of your time with Steve, and you are touchy, but that’s just the kind of person Steve is. You hadn’t realized how much you enjoyed physical touch from another person, even when it’s the most mundane action, until him. Robin is the same way, always holding your hands or leaning on you. They’re spoiling you. 

But the more you think about it, the more you realize that you’ve started to crave Steve’s touch when he’s not around. At night when you feel lonely, when you’re staring at the ceiling and letting your thoughts engulf you, you wish he was there to give you a hug. You wish he was there when you’re eating lunch alone and his leg isn’t pressed against yours under the table. You miss the warmth and the weight of him beside you on the couch. It’s like there’s a part of your brain that’s reserved for him, and suddenly you’re worried that this fake dating Steve thing might be the worst decision you’ve ever made. 

————

“Is this really necessary?”

“Yes, and I’m going to leave this with you until the masquerade is complete so that both of you morons have a reminder of your agreement.”

Robin sits on Steve’s couch, white board in hand. She’s brought way too many markers with her. She decided it would be best if you and Steve had a list of things that are acceptable for your temporary fake romance. She also insisted she be moderator. 

“Masquerade? Is that really what we’re calling this?” Steve looks at you.

“No. It’s not.”

“Both of you! Focus!” Robin uncaps a marker and throws the lid at Steve. He catches it. “Now, what kinds of things are okay to do during this little performance? I’m talking, hugging, handholding, kissing, the lot of it. Now shoot.”

Steve looks at you again. “What do you think? This is your family that we’ll be around.”

Your knee starts to bounce.

The majority of your little charade will be during the reception, and having to stand during the ceremony is saving you much more trouble than you’d realized. You never thought you’d be grateful to be a bridesmaid. But now there’s the added pressure of knowing Steve will be watching you then, that your family will be watching the both of you afterwards. 

Steve catches your shaking leg and is quick to put a hand out to steady you. He knows you’re nervous. 

“See? That’s good. Believable.” Robin is staring at the two of you, or more specifically, at where Steve’s hand rests on your knee.  

Steve pulls his hand back. “Okay, so we can hold hands?” you say, questioning yourself already. “You can touch me, like that or like you usually do.”

“I can do that. Hands, arms, back. That alright?”

You start to warm up. “Yeah, that works. What about you? I don’t want to be too handsy or anything but it might be weird if I don’t touch you at all.” 

Steve sits back in his chair while Robin scribbles away, her bulletpoints little stars. There are two sides, one for each of you. 

“All of that is fine with me too. I really don’t mind, and I think you know I like physical affection. But you know when you like, hang on my arm sometimes? I really like that.”

Robin smiles brilliantly. “That’s good! Makes you look super lovey-dovey.” She jots it down under Steve’s name. 

You try not to let it show, but Steve’s words are running rampant in your head. I really like that. He does? You hadn’t realized it before. 

“What else?” Robin asks. “Kissing? How do we feel about that?”

“Uh—I hadn’t really thought about it,” you tell her. And you hadn’t. The thought of Steve kissing you at all, other than the top of your head like he’s done before, makes you feel like your heart has just dropped out of your ass. “But I suppose it’d be weird if we didn’t at all, you know?” 

You’re looking at Steve, hoping he’ll feel the same way, searching for some sort of consolation. 

“No, yeah, that’s a good point.” He’s quiet for a moment before continuing, “What about your cheeks and forehead and stuff? Maybe the face is fair game? And you can do the same for me.”

You wipe your palms across your thighs. Kissing Steve. Steve kissing you. You’re losing your shit. 

“Yeah, that’s totally fine. That works.” You’re amazed that you’ve even managed to get the words out. 

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, you know?” Steve’s expression is soft. You know he’s being serious with you. 

“I know. And I don’t want to make you feel that way either. I want this to be a perfectly comfortable evening.”

“And I’m sure it will be!” Robin claps her hands together, setting her board down against the couch cushions beside her. 

She stands abruptly. “Basically you’re just behaving like you normally do, but with a little more hands-on action, you know?”

Steve quirks a brow, taking a furtive glance at you. “What do you mean, like we normally do?”

Robin moves towards her best friend and crouches, taking his hands in hers. “Uh…what are you doing?”

“Listen, little Stevie, you’re a touchy-feely kind of guy, and you’re always all over the lovely lady to our left. You can’t deny that.”

“I mean—yeah.”

Robin nods her head. Steve struggles to keep eye contact with her, knowing you’re watching the interaction.

“And you’ve rubbed off on her! She wasn’t really like this before you, Harrington.”

This time he jerks his head towards you. “Really?”

He’s thinking about your hugs, how you wrap your arms around his waist and squeeze. About how you always take his hand when he offers it, or how you'll toss a leg over his on the couch. Any other sort of behavior would feel strange.

You feel yourself go all warm. Feel your chest squeeze. You’re forgetting how to breathe. She’s completely right. Steve has brought out a side of you that you swore you didn’t have. The side that longs for affection. Maybe more. 

You nod your head at him.

“Yeah,” Robin says, “Most I’d get out of her was some hand holding before you came around.” 

She releases Steve from her grasp and rises once again. 

“But my point is, you two are going to make a fantastic fake couple. And maybe even an excellent real one.”

Steve face palms. “Robin.”

“Sorry, sorry! Make sure to take pictures for me, alright? I’ll be so sad to miss this happening in person.”

Steve stands, grabbing Robin’s bag for her. “Yep. Alright. See you later, Rob.”

He looks at you with what you’re quite positive is fear in his eyes. He leads her to the door, and you can’t help but chuckle, even if you’re nervous as shit, as he reassures her that there will be pictures, and that you’ll tell her all about it. 

————

“Just hang it up on the doorframe, and then you can hold stuff up to it.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

You sit cross legged in the center of Steve’s bed, watching him rummage through his closet. He’s going to knock your dress on the floor if he doesn’t quit his frenzy. 

You’d told him it wasn’t necessary that he coordinate his outfit with yours, but he insisted, so you brought your dress over for him to see. Steve has a feeling that when he sees you in it he’s going to lose his shit, not that he can tell you that. 

“You know, I never thought these would be useful. But I guess your asshole dad dragging you to business events pays off sometimes.”

Steve lifts a bunch of hangers from the rack and pulls them out of his closet, setting them on the bed beside you.

“Fancy,” you say, smirking.

He rubs his hand over his chin, the other braced against his hip. “Yeah.”

You can tell he’s a little frazzled at this. The reminder of dressing himself up to be paraded around by his father—a father who doesn’t spare Steve a second when not in the public eye. 

You hate that you’ve made him dig up all these memories. 

“They all fit okay?” you question. 

He nods, that one insistent lock of hair slipping free. He pushes it back before you have the chance to. 

You slide off the side of the bed and stand. You gesture for him to sit and that gets a smile out of him. 

After he’s settled, you lift each suit up one by one, seeing which matches the blue of your dress best. You’re only glad that your sister picked a nice shade: a dark, rich midnight blue. The kind you’d be able to spot from far off in a department store and need to take a look. 

You get to a sort of soft gray one, and Steve stops you. You hook it up on the doorframe beside your dress. 

“I think that looks nice, yeah?”

You walk backwards until your spine meets Steve’s knees. You brace yourself, hands on his calves. His chin meets the top of your head because of how high up the bed is. 

“I like it a lot, Harrington.”

He snorts, and you can feel the puff of air against your scalp. He’s warm, his presence all around you. His cologne, maybe his shampoo if you let yourself fall in between his legs. But you don’t. You stand. 

“Looks pretty solid to me,” you tell him, though your grin falters just slightly enough for him to catch it.

He puts a gentle hand on your cheek, making sure you keep your eyes locked on his. 

“Hey. It’s gonna be great, okay? You’re going to kill it in that dress. Probably kill me, actually,” he laughs. “We’ll handle it together, alright?”

“Alright, Steven.” You’re trying not to over-analyze that comment. This is not the time to get sweaty. 

He stands up, hand sliding down from your cheek to cover your collarbones. You wrap your arms around his back on instinct, and you swear you see him blush as he moves to encircle you in his own. 

“Does being your fake boyfriend mean your incessant picking has only gotten worse?” 

You rest your forehead against his chest. You can hear the steady thump of his heartbeat. You think about how nice it might be to do this all the time. What it might be like if he weren’t your fake boyfriend, but your real one. 

“Mhm,” you mumble. “I plan on continuing it, too.”

Steve’s hands run up and down your back. 

“I look forward to it,” he whispers. There’s a part of you that knows he means it.

————

Steve hasn’t stopped looking at you since you met him at the door to the wedding venue. 

You’d run down, more than happy to have company that wasn’t your sister's bitchy bridal party. 

He stands with you now, waiting until he’s allowed to take his seat, and you can feel his eyes burning into you. 

Not that you’re any better than he is. 

His suit fits him just right, and every time he pushes his hair around, you watch his shoulders move under his jacket. It’s driving you insane. And he’s wearing that fucking ring again. Except this time, there’s also one on the middle finger of his opposite hand. 

The sun is hitting him just right, turning his eyes this amber color. It’s mesmerizing. You notice then that his tie is the same blue as your dress. 

“Steve?”

“Hm?” 

“Did you have that? Just lying around?” 

He follows your gaze to his chest. No, he absolutely didn’t. He ran out and picked one up in a shade as close as he could get it to yours. Wearing something that felt like a piece of you had his mind abuzz. Abuzz with you. 

It’s the same way he feels about these rings Robin bought him. She said you were into them, always talking about Steve’s hands or something. He’s started to like them, but really it’s for you. Most things are. 

“Yeah. I found it in a drawer.”

Robin would slap him if she were here. He doesn’t know why he lies, but he does. And then you’re blushing and he’s got to sit down. He squeezes your hand one last time, an encouraging gesture, but one that has so much more buried beneath it.

The ceremony thankfully goes quickly for you, and you’re grateful, hating having to stand up there like you give a shit, like your sister is some saint. 

For Steve, it’s the slowest wedding he’s ever been to. You look so fucking gorgeous and he can’t keep it together. He barely even pays attention to the wedding, too busy looking at you. The way your indifference shows on your face, even if you know you’ll hear about it later. The way your hands wrap around the little bouquet you’ve been given. The way the setting sun sets your skin alight, and he thinks that you might truly be the death of him. 

When the ceremony has concluded, when Steve is looking for you in the reception hall, he realizes he has to tell you so. You deserve to know how gorgeous you are. He’s beating himself up for having said you looked ‘great,’ and that was all. 

You spot him first, and rush to him like you had before, anxious to be near him. 

“My mother is looking for me,” you tell him.

“You want to get some air?” His hand finds the small of your back, already leading you away from the crowd and just outside the doors. 

“You’re such a good fake boyfriend.”

You suck in a breath of cool air, shake your hands out. 

Steve smirks, hands moving up to massage at your shoulders before he even has a chance to give the action a second thought. “Just knew you’d like to get away is all.”

Knew. 

The word hits you and you feel like you’ve been slapped. Goddammit, Robin. She’s been in your head all day, and you’ve done nothing but pick up on the little things Steve does for you, the things he seems to know about you, that make him so much more than just a best friend. 

You’re fucked. 

“Thank you, Steve. For that, and for coming to this. It means a lot to me.”

“Don’t sweat it. I’d do it again.”

He’s looking at you with such fondness, and you have a feeling he wants to say more. You grab hold of one of his wrists, locking your eyes with his in hopes that it will communicate the message. Go ahead. 

He exhales. This sort of thing used to be so easy for him, but it’s never been that way with you. He knows it’s because you aren’t just some chick he wants to take out. You’re everything. And he’s fumbling for words. 

“I, uh, I wanted to tell you that…” You squeeze his wrist, and he continues, albeit with a shaky voice. “I wanted to tell you that you look beautiful.”

A smile creeps up and onto your face before you can stop it. 

“I mean, you always look beautiful, b-but tonight you’re just—stunning. Like, totally breathtaking. Don’t let anyone hear this, but I’d even say you look better than the bride.”

You let out a laugh then, the kind that comes straight from your belly, rich and sickly sweet. It makes Steve laugh, too. He can’t believe you. You’re unbelievable. 

“Sorry, Steve, I just–fuck that was so funny.” You straighten up, putting your serious face back on. “Thank you for saying that. I really appreciate it.”

“I’m serious, you know. You’re gorgeous.” He presses a kiss to your forehead, lips warm and plush against your skin. 

You go all warm and fuzzy inside. “Thank you, Stevie.”

He smacks another kiss to your cheek, just because he can. 

“You look pretty too, you know.” 

Steve blushes at your comment, and it’s at this very moment that your mother’s voice rings out, “Sweetie! Come in here, people want to see you!”

Fear flashes across your face, any trace of the sweet flirtiness there seconds before having vanished. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Steve says, watching you gesture towards your mother, telling her you’re on your way.  “Let’s do this, yeah?”

You make eye contact with him, and he grabs hold of your hand, weaving his fingers between yours. “Yeah.”

————

“So, how’d the two of you meet?”

You’re surrounded by a crowd of women, some are your family–your mother and sister–some women you’re not even sure you know. 

“School.” Steve saves you from having to speak first. “We went to high school together, but we met through a mutual friend.”

Your mother quirks a brow. “Robin,” you tell her. 

“Oh! What a lovely young lady.”

Steve snorts and you slap him on the back. Not that anyone could’ve seen it with how close he’s got you pressed to his side. “Yep,” Steve coughs, “She’s great.”

He presses a kiss to the top of your head, hoping it’ll give him a moment to suppress his smile. Your sister steps away from her friends, catching the action. 

“So, Steve, does she treat you okay? I know my sister can be a bit frantic sometimes.” You watch your mother down the rest of her wine, and you know she’s hoping nothing breaks out between the two of you like it has plenty of times before. 

Steve’s arm wraps more firmly around you, his hand coming to rest on your hip. Everyone has their eyes locked on you, waiting, hoping that Steve will spill some sort of secret that they can spread throughout Hawkins like wildfire. Nothing beats good gossip around here. 

He squeezes your hip, and for a split second you think the gesture might be possessive. Protective, even. 

“She does. Your sister is considerate and thoughtful, and she’s the best woman I know. I’ve never felt more comfortable than I do with her. And if she’s ever frantic, it only helps her deal with me when I’m the same way.”

You feel like you could pass out. Because you know he meant every damn word of that. You know he isn’t lying. 

Your sister looks between the two of you. “Well, I suppose that’s good to hear.” Her smile is nothing but insincere when she walks off to greet another wedding guest. 

One of your aunts swoops in, and Steve feels you clutch his side a little harder. He has a feeling you’re about to be ridiculed. 

“Such a lovely day, isn’t it? You two ever think about tying the knot?”

Steve pinks and your hand slips under his suit jacket, clutching at the fabric of his shirt instead. Is this really the time?

“No,” you pipe up. “I haven’t really given it much thought.”

The woman frowns at you. “Well, isn’t that silly? You better get around to it sooner than later, honey. Take after your big sister. You won’t be young forever.”

You go to speak, but Steve’s already begun. “I’m sorry, but she doesn’t have to get married on anyone else’s terms. Hell, she doesn’t have to get married at all, and I can say that in utmost confidence. Maybe back off, okay?” 

Your aunt looks absolutely scandalized, as if she cannot bear to accept what just happened to her. 

Steve starts to lead you away from the group. “Come on, baby.”

Baby. 

Steve called you ‘baby.’

You don’t have time to analyze that though with the way he’s escorting you back outside. He parks you on a bench and starts to pace in front of you. 

“I can see why you didn’t want to do this now. Jesus, are they always like that? I thought my dad’s colleagues were dicks, but my god.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Wait—can you call judgmental ladies dicks?”

You snort and bury your face in your hands. “Yes, Steve, I think so.” It comes out muffled, but he hears it all the same. 

When you look up, Steve is staring at you, and he’s much closer than he had been. He starts to say something, but both your mother and sister have shown up, looking for you. 

“Sweetie! What are you doing out here?” Your mother looks frazzled, and maybe a little tipsy. You knew your sister would be a bitch on her wedding day, but apparently your mother hadn’t yet realized.

“Escaping the mob.”

“Your aunt isn’t entirely pleased with your behavior, I’ve been told.”

You stand up then. “Honestly, mom, I don’t really give a shit. I came to this wedding, like you told me to. I brought, Steve, like you told me to. And I just don’t care anymore. I’m sick of your bullshit.”

She looks aghast, way more than your aunt had. 

You look at your sister, who’s clearly hoping to see you fuck up. 

“Congratulations on fucking yourself over. You’ll have a severely depressing marriage.” 

“C’mon, Steve.”

He takes your hand, and he can’t help but giggle as he follows you out. 

————

“Sweetheart? You comin’?”

You’ve stopped halfway up Steve’s stairs, a far off look in your eyes. He’d brought you back to his place to stay the night, and now that you’re here, it’s like every thought you’ve had about him is fit to burst. This cannot just be a tonight situation. You can’t let this end here. 

You drop your dress where you’d been holding it up to prevent yourself from tripping. 

“Maybe Robin’s right. About the chemistry.”

Steve’s hands go to his hips. He’s got no idea what you’re on about, but the way you’re looking at him is enough to have his heart rate kicking up a notch. “Chemistry?”

“Yeah. She pointed it out. And she said we’d make a fantastic couple, remember?”

He blushes. He hopes this is going where he thinks it is. Tonight has made him realize how much more you are to him than just a friend. He wants you all the time. “Yeah, I remember.”

Your heart is pounding and you feel like you can’t really breathe, but if you don’t say this now, you’re not sure you ever will. 

“Steve?”

“Yeah?” He’s never been so stressed in his life. He’s actually starting to sweat. 

You exhale and push the words out. “I don’t want you to be my fake boyfriend. I want you to be my real one.”

He coughs, chokes really, and you move up the stairs towards him to make sure he’s okay and not actually sick over the matter. 

“Are you sure?” he asks, surprising himself with the ability to speak considering how raw his throat feels. 

“Wouldn’t have said so if I felt otherwise, Harrington.”

There she is, he thinks. You really want him. Just like he does you. He can’t believe it.

“Again with the picking. You’re so mean to me.”

You smirk, your hands finding his sides again. You seem to have some attachment to them, and Steve wonders if it’s because you know there are scars underneath. If you’re telling him more than what you can bear to say. Giving him a glimpse of all you have to offer him, all the love you might hope to share. 

“I’ll show you mean, you little shit.”

You press your lips against his before you can second guess yourself, before you let that little voice win. 

Steve hums in surprise, but it’s clear he’s not upset by the gesture with the way he responds to your touch. His hands find your neck, thumbs stroking over your cheeks. 

He’s kissing you back, and fuck if he’s not trying to tell you everything he’s been feeling. 

When you pull away for air, Steve’s too greedy to let you go. He pecks your lips once, twice more, and when he really can’t breathe, he peppers your face instead. Now that you’ve given him the chance, he seriously can’t get enough of you. 

“Damn.”

You laugh, and push that strand of hair back where it goes, this time getting to it before he can. 

You take Steve’s wrist in your hand. It’s late. You hadn’t realized how worn out you were, but you are. 

“Can we go to sleep?” you ask, searching his brown eyes. His lashes are unfairly long, but you’ll have to berate him about it later. 

“Do I get another one of those before bed?” He’s already hauling you up the stairs, wanting you settled. 

“If you’re good.”

————

“So when did it happen?” Robin’s voice is almost accusatory.

“What?”

You’re standing close enough to Steve to ensure that you can hear Robin on the other side.

“When did this love confession take place?”

“That’s not what it was—”

“Just tell me when, dingus!”

“Last night, after we got home. She told me she didn’t want it to be fake anymore.”

“Shit!”

Steve rolls his eyes. You fuss with the belt loops on his jeans, trying to figure out what she’s been up to. “What did you do?” he asks. 

“I owe Dustin twenty.”

“You bet on us?” Your voice is loud enough that she hears it, and you know she’s cringing even if you can’t see it.

“Maybe? Yes. I bet that you’d give up the act later than that, that you two would be cowards about it. Figured you’d both wallow in self pity for a while before you just came out and said how you feel.” 

Steve looks at you, and mouths: Are you hearing this?

Robin keeps going. “Dustin said you’d come to your senses quicker than that. He bet on the wedding day specifically. Goddamnit!” 

You take the phone from Steve, and his forehead meets your shoulder. You can feel the way he shakes with laughter. 

“Thanks for having so much faith in us, Rob.”

She chuckles. “What? You’re both extremely good at lying to yourselves. I expected this to be much more dramatic.”

“Mhm,” you start, a plan forming in your mind. Steve can almost feel it. “Hey, Robin?”

“Yes?”

“Just for that, I’m calling in sick for Steve today. That shift is all yours.”

“No. Nononono—”

You hang up the phone. That means there won’t be the buffer that is Steve Harrington to prevent Robin having to interact with Keith. She’ll be stuck with him all evening. 

“That was just cruel,” Steve laughs. 

You cross your arms. “Oh, so you wanna go in then?”

He smiles at you and holds his arms out. You move into the circle of them. His hands find your waist and squeeze. “No, I didn’t say that. I haven’t had a day off in months.” 

“So quit whining.”

“See? I’ve only been your real boyfriend for like, a matter of hours, and you’re still being so mean to me.”

You lean forward and press a sweet kiss to his lips. It seems to appease him. 

“Was that mean?”

“Not at all.” 

You grin and kiss the corner of his mouth.

“Mean and a tease. Wow.”

You let out a breath of a laugh. “Only for you, Stevie.”

He takes your face in his hands, fingers pushing gently into your skin. 

“Damn right.”

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

tagging: @clovermunson

[illvmii]

Home For The Weekend.

DBF!Miguel x FEM!Reader, NSFW!! READ WITH CAUTION!!

TAGS: DBF!Miguel, Nsfw, a little fluff ig, pining Miguel, I gave you good parents because you deserve it, oral (fem receiving), praise, p in v, unprotected (use protection gang), a little exhibisionism (people are in the house), Miguel is pretty soft in this one, LMK if I forgot anything

A/N: Because I had to swap accounts and all that, I decided to write smut as a sorry (cause I know that’s what most Miguel fans want LMFAO) so here you go!! It’s Dad’s best friend cause GODDD I love DBF Miguel lemme tell ya. Also not proof read (I’m really fucking tired rn I’ll proof read tmr probably)

You’ve been away from home for a good while at this point. Your college really wasn’t all that far away, but you’ve been so freaking busy it’s unbelievable. You called your parents at least three times a week, even at that point you were failing to do so. You were completely overwhelmed and it was awful.

But finally, finally you had a weekend where you were free. You didn’t have anything to do, so you decided to drive home and spend the weekend there. You knew your parents really missed you, so it was the best choice for all of you (plus you’d been killing to taste some of your moms cooking once again).

You had called your father to let him and your mom know you were coming, but were told a very interesting surprise. It was for sure a welcome one, though. Your father’s best bud, Miguel O’Hara, was staying with your parents for a week. Apparently the man’s house got termites which fucking blew chunks for him. But for you… well, aren’t you just lucky?

That man is HOT! We all know it, he’s absolutely stunning. So when you figured you’d be in the same house as him for a whole weekend, your entire stay seemed to get much more interesting.

Of course it was a ‘Look don’t touch’ scenario, you couldn’t even imagine the hell that would let loose if you made a hit on your dad’s best friend. You knew your father and Miguel were super close, they have been since you were a little girl. Miguel and your pops met when you were in third grade, because you were on your schools little soccer team. Miguel was the coach, since his own daughter Gabriella was on it.

You and Gabi actually became pretty good friends, still are to this day. She’s fun to be around and you text her whenever you have the chance. Of course she doesn’t know about the absolutely disgusting thoughts you have about her father on the lonelier nights. You think nobody but you really needs to know those. God forbid if your dad found out.

You haven’t seen Miguel in… what was it? Nearly three years at this point. He didn’t come around the house much after you turned 19 for some reason. Your dad and him always hung out at bars and such. So you haven’t seen him in a long time. The barbecues Miguel always had once a month were strangely on days you had told your dad you weren’t available, either. It’s very strange. You never have had the best of luck with men, so you just assume god is playing a cruel trick on you.

You eventually pulled into your childhood home driveway, the second you entered your mom pulls you to the side and presses kisses all over your face.

“Oh my gosh! It feels I haven’t seen my baby girl in ages! How have you been, honey?!”

Pressing a kiss to her cheek, you smile, “Been good. Busy, as I’ve said on our calls. But finally got some free time!”

Your mother grinned and pulled you into a hug, “I’m so glad your home, sweetheart. The house just isn’t the same without you here.”

“Dad already getting on your nerves, huh?” You snicker, hugging her back tightly.

Your mom chuckles and shakes her head, “He’s still the same ol’ grump. You should have heard him and Miguel when the soccer game was on… my goodness I was worried we were going to get a noise complaint.”

“Are they really that bad? Geez. I know Dad is bad, can’t imagine two of them.”

Your mother chuckles, “Your father is in the living room. Go say hi, hes been waiting for you all day.”

You give her a nod and walk off to the living room to greet your dad. He’s on the couch, so you plop down next to him. “Hey, Dad. How’s it hanging?”

He turns to look at you and bumps your shoulder with his, “There you are, squirt. Where you been for so long, huh? Outgrown us regular people now you’re a big shot at college?”

You smirk at his tease, “Don’t worry. I won’t forget about you. Least not yet.”

He flicks your forehead, chuckling to himself.

“Miguel is out in the pool. You should go say hi.”

Your face immediately heats up. He’s in the god damn pool?! With probably little shorts? Oh god…

You nod and stand from the couch and make your way to the pool. You slide the glass door to the patio open and dear god.

You see Miguel, hes swimming laps in the big pool. As long as you’ve known him, he’s worked out a bunch. No wonder he’s so fucking buff.

Stepping down into the patio area, you send him a wave, “Hey, Mr. O’Hara?”

He pauses his swimming and looks up at you. He flashes a smile, “My god, that you, pequeña?”

Miguel shakes his head to get the excess water out, swimming too the stairs of the pool to get out. You see now that yes, he is in little swim trunks.

He grabs his towel to wipe his extremely chiseled chest down. He smiles at you as he does, “How have you been, chica? I haven’t seen you for a while. Your dad sends me photos of you sometimes, but they really didn’t show off how much you’ve grown.”

You blush as he runs his eyes over you to really take in your growth. “I’ve been okay. College is keeping me busy. How about you? I’ve heard your house has termites.”

Miguel let’s out a loud groan, “Mhm. I could hear them in the walls at night, it was hell. At least they’re getting taken care of now, ‘Eh?”

“Yeah. I could imagine that would be hell,” You add on, not helping the conversation at all. You really couldn’t focus on conversing well. The man who has plagued your mind since you hit puberty is standing right in front of you, wet and in tiny shorts.

Miguel fully dries himself off, “I’ll go in and change, alright? Then we can talk some more.”

He walks off and you follow behind. You sit next to your dad in the living room and patiently (not at all patiently) wait for ‘Mr. O’Hara’.

Miguel walks into the living room wearing some loose shorts and a white t-shirt. He sits on a free chair and looks to your dad, “Man, look how big your girl is now! Can’t even believe it. Can’t believe how big my Gabi is, either.”

Your dad chuckles and groans, “I know, right? Time really flies when you get old.”

Miguel shoots you a smile, “I’m not that old, am I, cariño?”

You shake your head quickly, “Of course not.”

Your father chuckles, “You don’t gotta lie to Miguel, honey! Let him have it.”

Miguel leans forward to smack your father’s shoulder, “Ay! You aren’t young yourself.”

Your father and Miguel banter back and forth for a bit, before the soccer game starts out. They shut up immediately to watch, though once the plays start happening they shout at the TV like mad men. You chuckle whenever they do. It brought back memories of you and Gabriella having a play date and hearing them go nuts over the match in the other room.

After the match, it was dinner time, and holy fuck did it smell good. Your mother knew how to cook man, let me tell you.

You were sat in between your mom and Miguel. Your dad and the hunk were talking about the game, while your mother asked you questions about how college was going. You told her all about it, from the gossip to how the vending machine in the lobby stopped working again, which pissed you off to no end.

While you were talking and ranting about “those damn machines”, you felt a thigh press against yours. You glance down, seeing it was Miguel’s. Strange, because you didn’t remember his chair being this close. You shrug it off and keep talking to your mom.

After dinner you were stuffed, so you head up to your bedroom for the night. You were currently sitting on your old bed, snuggled up all nice and cozy while watching some YouTube. That was until the door creaked open. You figured your mom had done your laundry like the lovely lady she is, but indeed it was Miguel.

He stepped into the room with a soft smile, closing the door behind him, “Hey, pequeña.”

You sit up immediately at the sight of him, plucking your earbuds from your ears, “Hey, Mr. O’Hara. What do you need?”

Miguel sits himself on the edge of the bed, “You can just call me Miguel, sweetheart. Mr. O’Hara makes me feel ancient.”

“Alright, Miguel.” You smile, which makes him chuckle. He looks up at you and speaks;

“We haven’t had much time to speak one on one. I just wanted to catch up with you, hadn’t seen you in a while.”

You tilt your head endearingly, “Yeah, it has been a while. College has kept me from coming home, plus you and dad don’t hang out around the house as much as you used to.”

Miguel’s face actually pinks a little at the statement, to your bewilderment. He scratches his head, “Yeah. Just gettin’ out on the town as you kids say makes us feel young, I guess.”

Cuddling your blankets a bit closer to you, you grin at him, “You really aren’t that old. You had Gabriella decently young, right?”

“I guess so,” He shrugs, “It feels like forever ago, yet also yesterday. Can’t believe my flor pequeña is in college now.”

You nod, “Oh yeah, I can’t believe we’re in college either. Gabriella texts me all about her college days. She rants about her boyfriend constantly, she seems to really like him.”

Miguel groans, “Don’t even get me started on that boy. He is not worth my daughter, not even a little.”

You giggle at his protective nature. You’re positive that no matter who Gabriella dates, Miguel will never deem them as good enough for his daughter.

Miguel looks into your eyes, “So, you got a boyfriend, niña?”

“Oh, no. I haven’t really met the right person,” Which was a total lie, by the way. You’ve gone on dates and met super nice guys, but in your head you constantly compared them to your first crush ever, Miguel. They never shaped up, so it never went anywhere.

His eyes widen, “Really? You’re so beautiful now, I’d figure you’d have tons of boys chasing you.”

The statement makes you blush fiercely, “Ah, no.”

Miguel lets out a thoughtful sigh, “You really have grown into a lovely young woman, you know.”

You blush even harder, “Thank you, Mr. O’Hara.”

He places a hand on yours with a chuckle, “I told you, it’s Miguel.”

“Right. Sorry. Sorry,” You take some deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down. Miguel sees this and smiles.

“Why so flustered, cariño? Is it because I called you beautiful?”

You end up covering your face to hide said blush from him. Geez, your heart could not take this right now. You were dressed in some baggy Spider-Man pajamas, yet he is calling you beautiful?

“I-I’m not…”

You can’t believe you’re stuttering. The things this man does to you is insane.

Miguel reached a hand forward to take your hands away from your face. He doesn’t remove it, though. He rests it on your cheek.

“Do you want to know why I stopped coming around your house?”

You nod, staring into his chocolate brown eyes.

“It’s because of your 19th birthday. Do you remember it?”

You think back to those years ago. It was a pretty fun party. You got a bunch of friends and family over and swam in your pool. It wasn’t anything extravagant, but just a fun time.

“Yeah. What about it? Did I do something?”

He chuckles and tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear, “Nah. It’s just me. You… that day, do you remember what your swimsuit looked like?”

You think back again and blush. Not one of your smartest moments, buying a white swimsuit. It looked cute online, the thought of that it was supposed to go in water and get wet not really cementing itself in your head.

“Yeah…”

He nods and chuckles, “I saw you step out of the pool, and rushed over with a towel to cover you up. Remember? Sure, it was because I didn’t want you to expose yourself like that. However, I had a selfish reason.”

You look up and tilt your head a little.

“I didn’t want anyone else to see that part of you.”

“Huh?” Your brows furrow.

He smirks, “I was confused by the thought, too. I left right after the party and went to my house. I figured I’d stop having such strange thoughts after a day… but amor, I haven’t stopped thinking about you once.”

Your eyes widen, “Wh- Huh?”

“You’re so beautiful, I don’t think you understand. You grew into this woman who I admire, not just for your looks. You’re wonderful, absolutely wonderful. You’re kind, you’re thoughtful, you’re funny, you’re perfect. I can’t get you out of my damn head.”

You can’t manage to speak at this point. You stare up at the man in shock as he moves his hand from your cheek to the back of your neck.

“Please, let me kiss you, niña,” He basically begs, his eyes look full of desperation, “I’ve wanted to do it for years.”

You manage a tiny nod, so he rushes forward to kiss your lips. He holds you very close against him and kisses you hard. He lets out a groan at the contact. His tongue prods at your lips after a while and who are you to refuse such a man? You let him in, letting out a little groan of your own when he explores you.

After what felt like too short, you have to pull away to catch your breath. He doesn’t stop being on you, though. When you pant, he moves to kiss your jaw and neck.

You let out a little groan, “M-Miguel…”

“No good?” He speaks between kisses, “I’ve wanted to touch you for years, you don’t understand…”

You let out a little whimper, a god damn whimper.

“Please, let me touch you. Fuck, please,” He begs again. You manage a small nod once again. He dives back in to keep kissing your neck.

You wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer. His hands move downwards towards your shirt. He tugs it over your head and moans. His hands immediately reach down to squeeze your tits, and you have to cover your mouth to keep your moans in.

He mumbles out a soft “Fuck…” when he uses his thumbs to glide over your nipples. After a few seconds, he leans down to press kisses all over your soft breasts. He still uses his hands to softly prod at them.

You let out a low whine and he looks up at you, “Be quiet, my girl. Can’t have anyone hearing you.”

You nod and keep covering your mouth as he leans down to keep pressing soft kisses to your chest. After a few moments, he tugs at your bottoms and looks up at you. You nod embarrassingly, and he takes them and your underpants off in one fell swoop.

You hear him audibly choke a breath, which makes you blush more. He manhandles you so your thighs rest on his shoulders, and just goes to town.

You let out a loud yelp when his tongue presses against your clit, so he reaches down and puts his fingers in your mouth to silence you. He keeps his mouth going, sucking on the bud to bring you pleasure.

Miguel pulls back with a long breath, “Tastes so good…”

You whimper against his fingers when he leans down to insert his tongue in you. You cry out as he holds nothing back, forcefully having his way with you.

His one hand that isn’t in your mouth is softly caressing your thigh, which is driving you crazy in its own right. It feels like everywhere he touches you is pure heaven.

Though that one hand leaves after a moment, instead he moves to insert a finger in you. You clamp down on his fingers, which makes him chuckle.

“Feel that good?”

Against his hand, you mumble, “Fingers so thick…”

He smirks and curls his index finger, making your hips buck up and you let out another whine. He can softly hear you beg for more.

He complies, of course. Hes waited for this for years, no way he won’t give his girl everything she wants.

He inserts another finger, moving them around a little until he eventually finds your most sensitive spot. He presses the pad of his fingers up against it suddenly, making you jerk and squirm around.

His mouth dives back down to suck on your clit, which drives you absolutely insane. His fingers in both your mouth and inside you, as well as his skilled mouth was far too much for one woman to handle.

Miguel looks over at one of the thighs placed on his shoulder, seeing it shiver and shake. He breaks away briefly, “Are you close already, amor? You’re so sensitive for me. Have you been wanting my touch too?”

You nod frantically when he lowers his head to your clit again. You cry out, “Uh-Huh! Y-You were my first crush!” Your words were mumbled against his fingers, but he understood them just fine.

He sucks on your clit hard and curls his fingers at the same time, which causes you to let out a moan and your thighs shake more. He breaks away,

“Look at me when you come. Look into my eyes as I make you come. You understand?”

You nod and keep eye contact with him as he inserts a third finger, pressing over and over to your g-spot. He uses his tongue to swirl around your inflated bud at the same time.

His gaze, his mouth, his fingers, it was all far too much. After one harsh suck, you came with a muffled shout.

Miguel drank it all up immediately, seemingly absolutely satisfied to be covered in your juices.

He lets you catch your breath and removes his fingers from your mouth. He also lowers your hips back to the bed, being delicate as he does so he doesn’t hurt you. You were panting very harshly, still coming down from your high.

Everything was a bit fuzzy at the moment. Though you refocused a few seconds later- holy shit.

His shorts have been discarded, along with his shirt. He was naked just as you were, and god damn was he big.

He leans down to press a kiss to your stomach, “You think you can go again? Can you take me, pretty girl?”

You try and speak only to realize that you, in fact, can’t. You settle for a thumbs up, which just makes him laugh softly.

He gives you a few more seconds before aligning himself up with your pretty pussy, pushing himself in agonizingly slow.

You let out another moan, so he quickly puts his fingers in your mouth again to keep you quiet. He really, really did not need your parents who were down in the living room to hear this.

He kept pushing himself in, holding his own groans back. He’d used his hand and imagined how you’d feel in the past, but it was nothing like this. This was perfect.

Once he was in as far as he could go, he stopped and let you get comfortable. Of course it was a battle for him, he was fighting his primal instincts to just take your hard and fast.

You keep letting out the most adorable little whimpers, which even though he’s currently fucking you, make Miguel’s heart melt.

You hum against his fingers, “Ready…”

He nods and begins to move very slowly. He focuses on your face as he watches it contort and squeeze with his movements. You were so pretty when you were experiencing such pleasure, he thought.

He whispers, “Good job, pequeña. Such a good girl for me.”

The praise makes you bite down on his fingers a little. Your hands travel upwards to scratch on his back, too. It was taking all your willpower to not be loud.

He moves a little faster, leaning down to kiss you as he does. He keeps mumbling “My pretty girl” And “So perfect, just for me” as he increases his speed.

He knows he isn’t going to last long. He’s been dreaming about you for years at this point.

He begins to sweat as his hips snap against yours. His free hand moves down to rub on your already abused clit. You grunt on his fingers, pursing your lips against them.

“You gonna come for me again, amor? Come on my cock. Can you do that for me?” He speaks very softly. Both to keep it down, but to also be intimate with you.

You breathe heavily as you feel him pound into you. You can feel tears brimming at your eyes from the sensation.

He licks his thumb and places it back down on your clit, rubbing circles over and over again. At the same time, his hips were slamming against yours. Soon enough, you reached a second orgasm. He let out a moan that was nearly too loud when you did. The sensation was his end, because a few thrusts later he pulled out and came on your stomach.

You and him sat there, panting like you’d just ran a damn marathon. Though after a few minutes, Miguel stands and walks over to your nightstand to get the wipes there. He begins to wipe you of his cum and your sweat, cleaning you off so you can sleep comfortably.

You were so fucking exhausted it was insane. You could barely register as he carefully slid your pajamas back onto you, then changed back into his own clothes.

He leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead, “If I could sleep in here, I would.”

“Mhm…” You mumble, a little upset he wouldn’t be cuddling you to sleep. But you obviously understood his reasoning.

He pressed a soft kiss to your lips,

“Let’s do this again sometime, pequeña.”

Hope you enjoyed you rabid Miguel fans!! Feedback is always welcome. I used spanishdict so please correct any mistakes you see. Reqs open too!!

This was my first time posting anything NSFW on any site ever so I’m sorry if it’s bad LOL

Don’t repost or claim as or own and all that stuff please!! ❤️❤️

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for “ruining my friend’s life”? (quote from her sister)

so. uh. to preface this. i’m aromantic and asexual and i think i MIGHT have underestimated how much importance alloromantic people place on romance.

i’m not going to disclose our ages because we’re all minors, but everyone in the story is the same age except for younger and older siblings (who will be noted as such.)

i (nb) used to be a close friend of a girl i have classes with. let’s call her c. she would talk to me about how she thinks another person (g) likes her, and (i quote) a pussy for not asking c out yet. two things: we live in a rural part of america (gay people aren’t uh. 100% accepted), and i know g from a club. she is VERY straight. so i was worried that c was in for an unpleasant experience. so. i went to g during the club and told her everything i knew. i thought i was doing the right thing. i thought i was saving c from a major disappointment.

g proceeded to call us both cockroaches and refuse to talk to me for the rest of the club. c was VERY upset when i told her, but didn’t act very different towards me, so i thought that even if she was hurt and angry, we were still friends.

fast forward to now, a couple months later. i don’t talk to c as much but i assumed it’s because i haven’t really been talking to people lately. c told me that she got in contact with g’s mom, who, unlike the rest of her family, doesn’t react horribly to gay people. i don’t really know what they talked about but i think it got better for c?

except a few days ago, c’s sister recognized me in the hallway. she got angry and said i had ruined her sister’s life. i didn’t know what to say to this. so i just said (truthfully) that i had kind of forgotten about that. i am kind of socially inept. she got angrier but left.

so. am i the asshole?

(please tag this with gggg so i can find it later)

What are these acronyms?

[strbymacaroon]

Silent Love: Ch. 5 - "Good Guy."

⊹ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ Chapter Four

Previous Chapter: Project Week

Chapter One: New Roommate(s)

Master-List: Here!

.・゜゜・ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ╰┈➤ Sukuna x Reader

⁎̩͙ ⁑̩͙̩͙ ⁂̩̩͙͙ Sypnosis:

When moving out of your dorm and leaving your eccentric roommate goes to shit, you're offered by one of her friends to move in with him... for free! That is, if you don't mind living with two completely opposite college boys.

However, life isn't that easy, and there's a hot asshole around the corner to piss you off. Especially when he's always up late at night when you're studying, purposely trying to get on your nerves in the most perverse way possible.

You hate him.

⁎̩͙ ⁑̩͙̩͙ ⁂̩̩͙͙ Genre:

College/Modern World AU. Multiple parts.

Shameless Smut, Thin Walls, Mildly Dubious Consent, Roommates Fluff and Crack, Slice of Life, Kinda Slow Burn, Oral Sex Vaginal Sex, Slight Age Difference, Degradation Fake/Pretend Relationship, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Enemies to Lovers, Spit Kink, Angst, Hurt/Comfort.

⁎̩͙ ⁑̩͙̩͙ ⁂̩̩͙͙ Word Count: 10,040

･ ｡ﾟ☆:  *･ November 27th, 2023 ☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

Monday

The weekend was… tense. 

That pissed you off. 

It still pisses you off.

You’re still hurt, too. 

Yuuji notices, he has yet to ask, but knowing that you came home upset with Sukuna after being happy the whole day with him, he has a feeling he knows the reason. “Do you want to watch this movie?” Yuuji asks, looking over his shoulder. 

You take your eyes off the computer, looking at the TV. “No, that one looks sad.” You look back at your screen, “Can you play a comedy, or something?” You jump up at a thought for a moment, “Oh, wait, I know what, play the movie Selena.” 

Yuuji tilts his head, “Selena?” He turns back to the TV, searching up the name on Netflix. 

You nod, “Mhm, Selena, I have a feeling you’re going to like her.” You continue typing away at the computer while glancing at your notebook. You’re content with all the information you gathered during the week, however, you don’t know how to go about Sukuna’s “Mental Evaluation.”

Now that the two of you aren’t talking–aren’t even looking at each other–it feels wrong to write about him, more a less do your project on him. You sigh, dropping your head on your keyboard, “I hate this project, and I hate Gojo.” 

Yuuji doesn’t respond, already sucked into the movie. Which is what you expected, Selena has that effect on people, even in her young age of childhood. You can’t imagine how Yuuji’s going to react when he finally sees her grown and a singer. 

You shiver, the window no longer flooding the sun’s light, “Yuuji, I’m cold.” You whisper. 

Yuuji waves his hand, “I have some extra blankets in my room, you can grab one–oh! There’s also some snacks in there, too. Bring them so we can watch the movie.” He starts to stand up, “I can help you find them–” 

“No, it’s okay.” You put your hand out, stopping him while you stand up. “You enjoy the movie, I’ve seen it a million times with my mom. I practically have it memorized by now.” Yuuji nods, while you make your way to his room. 

For a moment you pause and look at Sukuna’s door. It’s the same it’s been this whole weekend, closed and silent. It makes your stomach turn. You want to knock, you want to give Sukuna the benefit of the doubt, you really do, but you can’t. A part of you wishes you could go back in time and listen to what he had to say when he called your name on Friday, but you’re scared–no, you're terrified. 

You want to know if he was going to apologize. Yet, another part of you knows that isn’t the case. And that is what scares you. You care for Sukuna, you lik–you shake your head–the idea of him rejecting you, or using you is terrifying. 

What if he just tells you to leave him alone? You can’t bear to hear that again. You can’t bear to be a girl he forgets about. It’s so stupid. You’re being so stupid, you genuinely hate it.

You bite the corner of your bottom lip, pushing Yuuji’s door open and flicking on the switch. Only to quickly realize, it doesn't work, to be honest, you’re not entirely surprised by that, you were expecting much worse. Even when you open his closet and grab the snacks and blanket, you were expecting his unopened lego box collection to fall on you, luckily, it didn’t. 

You wrap yourself with the blanket, and hold the snacks between your arms, “Yuuji, I think I found all of the snacks.” You yell from his room, closing the door behind you, “Your lego sets almost killed me, but–” You feel your stomach drop, your words dying. Your fingers almost go slack, but you catch yourself, tightening your grasp on the snacks in exchange. 

Sukuna pressing his lips together, his eyes moving up and down your frame, before naturally looking at the women besides him. He can see your expression sour from the corner of his eye, and it makes his stomach turn uncomfortably. 

The blonde woman laughs, “Oh, hi, baby. It’s been a hot second, huh?” She gives you a satisfied smile, her hands hanging on her hips, “Interesting look you got going there.” She points at you, her finger moving up and down your outfit. 

It feels weird… knowing that he’s looking at you after actively avoiding you the whole weekend, and refusing to even breathe in your direction. You give both of them an uncomfortable look, “I’m home? What do you expect me to look like?” You want to move past them, you really do, but that feels embarrassing and uncomfortable. Besides… you’ve made a point to only wear your cute pajamas now that you live with two guys. 

She wrinkles her nose, “Who knows.” She turns to Sukuna’s door, pushing it open with confidence. “Something that looks even a bit cute.” She enters the room with a happy skip, leaving you and Sukuna alone in the hall. 

You look to the side, a bit of a hurt expression gracing your face. 

Sukuna mindlessly mirrors your body language, but keeps his eyes on you. He’s observing you, looking at the snacks in your hands, along Yuuji’s thick blanket wrapped around your shoulder. He can hear his little brother watching a movie in the living room, a part of him wonders if it’s a movie night. Another part of his wonders if he can–

“Can you move?” Your eyes are still looking away from him, your fingers tight around the bags of snacks, you can hear them crinkle underneath your fingers. “Yuuji’s waiting for me.” 

Sukuna bites the inside of his cheek, nodding. He pushes himself to the wall, watching as you pass him. He can smell you shampoo and perfume, he can also see the way your eyes look a bit glossy. But, he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know what to say, and most importantly, he doesn’t want to say anything. 

You bite your bottom lip the moment you enter the living room, quickly wiping your eyes as you move behind Yuuji. Hugging him from behind while the blanket engulfs both of you. You close your eyes, sighing into his trapezius, completely relaxing into his body. You’re a bit surprised he can hold up your whole weight without even flinching. 

Yuuji keeps his attention to the screen while asking, “You okay?” You nod into his shirt, letting your arms drape over his shoulder as you hold him close. He just nods, leaning into you and taking one of the snacks you took from his room. 

You open your mouth, your eyes blurring and turning glossy again as Yuuji pops a chip into your mouth.Stupid Sukuna. Why is liking you so fucking hard? 

“I think I’m in love.” Yuuji mindlessly mumbles.

You laugh a tiny bit, moving away from him and back to your computer. “Don’t worry, I was too.” You’re back to typing away, stealing glances at the TV, but mostly Yuuji. Drinking up all his reactions to the movie. “Hate the way it feels, though.”

“I invited Nobara and Megumi.” He tells you randomly, looking at you with glossy eyes. “I’m sorry, but this movie is too good to watch alone.” He wipes his eyes with the back of his hands, “I also told them to bring pizza and tissues.” He smiles to himself, “Also those delicious cheese sticks from Claim Jumpers.”

You smile, happy Yuuji can give you some semblance of a break. If anything, you’re more than grateful you’ve met Yuuji. Of course, technically, he is the one who brought you into this mess, but is the same one who manages to make everything feel better. 

You nod into him, “Great call, babe.”

—

Megumi’s eye twitches, “What the hell is going on?” He’s looking at you like you're the reason. Which… you are, but he’s not supposed to automatically assume that. “Why is Yuuji crying…? Again?” Megumi places his hand over his eyes, and you swear you can hear him whisper, ‘Why is he always crying?’

You sheepishly play with the end of your shirt, “I introduced him to Selena, and this is the first time he’s seeing the movie.” You scratch your cheek, glancing back to Yuuji with a worried expression, “Uh, I didn’t expect it to affect him… this much.” 

Megumi furrows his eyebrows, his eyes twitching for a moment, “Oh…” He places the pizza on the dining room table, along with passing Yuuji the box of tissues. “I thought he was joking, but…” He’s giving Yuuji and uncomfortable look. 

Nobara looks at the screen, shaking her head. “Ah, no, it’s Selena. Completely reasonable.” She pops open the pizza box, picking a silence. “Cried my eyes out the first time she showed me this movie.” She bites the pizza with a distant expression, mumbling, “Memories.”

You grab a slice too, “I did, too. I just thought Yuuji would absolutely love Selena.” You glance at him, watching as he’s absolutely engrossed in the movie, you laugh a bit before grabbing a napkin and sitting down next to him, lifting the pizza to his mouth so he can take a bite. “Besides, this is supposed to be sad.” 

Megumi looks at the screen, “The music is nice.” 

“How can you listen to this song and not cry?” Nobara adds, however, she's eyeing you and Yuuji. “Dreaming of you," is a certified cry song. Something you listen to when your heart is breaking, you need a good cry, or just need a good song to listen to.”

You nod feverishly, agreeing with Nobara. Passing Yuuji another bite of his pizza. “Nobara gets it, Megumi, we just need to convert you now.” 

“Hard pass.” He sits down at the table, scrolling through his phone. 

You laugh. 

“You and Yuuji seem close.” Nobara sits down next to you with a smile, “Something happened during the week you’ve been here?” She wiggles her shoulder suggestively, passing you a look you can’t help but roll your eyes at. 

But, it’s quickly replaced with shock when her words settle in your mind, “It’s only been a week?!” There’s actually no way. “Oh my god, please say you’re lying.”

“It hasn’t.” Megumi shakes his head, which gives you some form of relief, before he quickly adds, “More like two.” For some reason, that makes it even worse. 

You’re almost spiraling at that, how the hell has it only been two weeks?! You blink a few times, “Uh, that’s amazing…” You let Yuuji take another bite of the food, “I genuinely don’t think that I’m going to make it till the end of finals.” 

Nobara leans her head on your shoulder, but a small worried look graces her face. “Hey, are you okay?” She examines your face, noticing the bags and dreariness in your eyes. “You look rough. Mostly tired.” Then, she gasps like a madwoman, her eyes growing with excitement. “Wait, don’t tell me! You and Suk–”

“I won’t tell you.” You cut her off, taking an aggressive bite into the pizza. Only to remember that the pizza isn’t yours, it’s Yuuji, and you internally scold yourself. You look at Yuuji, then Megumi, then back at Nobara, whispering, “At least, not right now…”

This makes Nobara light up, “Oh my gosh, I can’t wait!” She whispers back excitedly, jumping up slightly. She grabs your shoulders, wiggling you, “I’m actually so jealous, I can’t believe you actually—“

“Stop assuming things.” You whisper aggressively, narrowing your eyes, “I’ll tell you later.” You pout, looking at the screen with furrowed eyebrows. “That’s if I still like you by them.” You mumble.  

“I’m totally sleeping over.” Nobara says with a smirk, letting her head fall on your nape, “Girls night, you need to fill me in on all the shit the two of you did together.” 

Yuuji passes you a questionable look, which makes you groan, pushing her away and mumbling, “Shut up.” Yet, Nobara is quick at your side again. 

“Did you bring the cheese sticks?” Yuuji asks, looking at Megumi, he cocks his head in your direction, “We’ve been waiting patiently for them.”

You swear you imagined it, but you swear that you can see Megumi's subtle smile. Looking down at his feet while he bites the side of his cheek, a small huff of air leaving his nose. His voice comes in shaky as he says, “C-Cheese sticks?” 

Nobara burst into a fit of laughter, falling on her back while she points and laughs at the two of you. You give her a questionable look, confused on her amusement, “What? What’s so funny?” You look at Yuuji for support, only to see his equally confused expression, “We literally just want our cheese sticks.” 

Nobara’s laughter grows more frantic, while Megumi’s subtle smile turns into a full on laugh.

Yuuji raises an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side, you mimic his actions. “What? They’re good?” He says quietly, confused on what could possibly be so funny. 

Nobara points at Yuuji, trying to collect herself as she forces out, “W-Wait, you call them cheese sticks?” She wipes her eyes. 

Yuuji’s eyebrows furrow, absolutely confused. “Yeah? What… what else would they be called?” He laughs awkwardly, passing the two of them an unsure smile.

Nobara looks at you for a second, laughing lightly. “Yuuji, babe, love of my life. Man I will marry, and love for the rest of my days. Pray that one day I will die hand to hand with.” She hugs him, pushing you out of the way. “They’re called mozzarella sticks.” She whispers. 

Yuuji shakes his head, “Yeah, no. They’re not.” He looks at Megumi, desperately in your opinion, “Megumi, tell her. They’re cheese sticks, right?” There’s a bit of uneasiness in his voice, almost shaky.

Megumi slowly looks to the side, taking a bite of his pizza. “Yuuji…” He softly starts, keeping his composure, “I could’ve sworn we talked about this a little while ago, and..” 

Yuuji shakes his head, “Don’t tell me.” 

Megumi nods, “I’m sorry to tell you… again.”

“I feel sick.” He grabs your shirt, calling your name desperately, “Be here for me, be on my side, what are they called…?” You swear you can see some tears pearling in his waterline. 

“Uh..” You pass an unsure glance at Nobara, “Are they really called mozzarella sticks?” Your question is just as uneasy as Yuuji is right now, and you think rightfully so. Was your whole childhood a lie?

Nobara gives you a somber look, looking down and closing her eyes. Almost as if you told her your favorite celebrity had finally gotten into a relationship with someone. “I’m… not sorry.” 

Yuuji hunches over, grabbing his stomach. “Wow…” He whispers, “I feel like my life has changed.” He shakes his head, grabbing his mouth, “And, not for the better…” You pat his back accordingly, this is just as equally as a tragedy to you, as it is to Yuuji.

“So, every time I’ve gone to Claim Jumpers with you guys and asked for cheese sticks, the waiters just?... never corrected me?” Yuuji looks absolutely shocked, passing you a glance, “So, yesterday when we ordered some, we must’ve looked like dumbasses.” 

You let out a breath of disbelief, “What the hell…?”

Nobara plots herself on the couch, letting out a satisfied sigh, “I can’t believe you idiots thought they’re called cheese sticks.” She waves her hand cockily, “If you guys look like idiots, obviously the two of you are.”

Yuuji narrows his eyes at her, “Did you even bring them?” 

Nobara loudly laughs, “No.” 

—

“So, tell me babe.” Nobara slides the shirt you lended to her over her head, then jumps on your bed. “What’s going on between you two? Friends with benefits, situationship, maybe even secretly dating?” She smirks to herself, whispering, “Secretly dating…” One more time for good measure. 

You kick your lounge shorts to the side, bending down and grabbing some sleeping pants to keep warm, “None of that, Nobara.” You push your hair over your shoulder, “You and your imagination, I swear.” 

“Not true, I’m just trying to get the juicy details.” She gives you an annoyed look, pointing at your body, “I’m sorry, but with how hot you are and how unfairly hot Sukuna is, there had to be so much sexual tension, I’m so upset I couldn’t have seen it.” 

“Nobara!” You say, a bit louder than you would’ve liked. “I don’t like him right now, and you’re making it really hard for me to take you seriously.” Your face is burning up, her implications slowly starting to get to you. 

“Yeah, sure, honey.” Nobara places her hand over her lips to hide her catty smile, looking to the side and singing, “I’m sure you “hate” him.” She uses her free hand to make a lewd motion that looks similar to intimately shaking a soda bottle. 

You feel your eyes twitch, your face burning up even more. “Oh my god. I’m goin–I hope you kill yourself.” You place your face in your hands, shaking your head, “No. I’m going to kill myself, I swear…” 

She laughs, leaning back in your bed and picks up the stuffed bunny she gave you long ago. “You love me so much, I know, I know.” Yet, her face falls a bit, “Okay, but, seriously. Are you okay? You look… tired. More so than normal.” 

You press your lips together, moving to your vanity and sitting down in front of the mirror. Pulling at the bottom of your eyes, “Yes.” You shrug, “I don’t know, but…” You sigh, already knowing Nobara is going to absolutely lose her mind, “The whole week was–” You shake your head, just pull off the bandaid, “We did something on Friday at the party.” 

Nobara blinks a few times, before screaming into the bunny excitedly, “No way! No way! Yes, way!” She wiggles her shoulders, hugging the bunny, “You have to tell me everything that happened, did you suck him out?” She loudly gasps, “Did he suck you off? Or… eat you out?”

“No!” You yell at her, throwing a lipliner at her head. Which she dodges with ease, you turn back to the mirror, “Oh my god, can you like not for five seconds?” 

Nobara gives you an exasperated look, “What? I’m sorry but, can you blame me?” She taps her chest, “You’ve never done anything with anyone, you can’t be mad because I’m excited for you.” She does sound excited, but you wish it was directed somewhere else right now. 

You grab a wet wipe, removing your makeup, “I know and I would be too, if it wasn’t for–” You falter, your hand pausing, “Right before I…” You feel your face heat up, “When I was close to finishing, he–” 

Nobara tilts her head, sitting up in your bed and looking at you through the mirror. “Close to finishing? He was getting you off?” She smiles a bit, “Babe, you can’t throw these hot single lines at me and not tell me the juicy details.” 

“..Yes, he was… you know.” You let your eyes move to the side, “We were doing stuff at a party… in a laundry room, while my clothes were getting washed.” 

Nobara gawks at this, “Oh my god… I’m so jealous.” She shakes her head, “Okay, I’m sorry, actually continue now.” 

You continue whipping your eyes, “Remember how I told you about our deal? About how we’d only be friends for like a week for the project, then just kind of forget about each other?” You press your lips together. 

Nobara looks to the side in thought, “Maybe, I don’t–just tell me what happened?” 

“He threw it in my face while we were doing that.” You bite your bottom lip, “Told me he was happy I finally gave in before the week was over.” You toss the makeup wipe on your desk, pushing yourself away from the vanity. “I just–I like him, Nobara, and I know I shouldn’t, but I do. And, I thought he liked me too, he was starting to be… human, but I guess not…” 

Nobara wraps her arms around you, “Oh, babe, I’m so sorry.” She rubs your back, pulling away while her hands stay on your shoulders, “I genuinely feel so shitty now, I really didn’t know. You don’t deserve that.” 

“You were distracted by his hot face.” You give her a small smile, but there’s some pain littered through it. “I don’t blame you, I was too.” 

Nobara laughs for a moment, “I get it, my asshole has a hot face, too.” She leans close, her cheek touching yours, “He also knows how to use his hands.” 

“Tell me about it.” You pull her on your bed, pulling the thick blanket over your heads. Creating a small fort of sorts. “And now he’s in his room with the girl he told me he blocked.” You think for a moment, “Actually, it’s the girl he blocked twice, one of them then he told me to do.” 

Nobara makes a face, it’s a bit smug, “Okay, I know we hate him right now, but like…?” She lifts her hands, moving them up and down as if she were balancing something. “Ate…” She laughs a bit, “Devoured… I fear.” 

You place your hand over your mouth, shouting a small, “I know.” Before shaking your head, “Okay, stop, I’m supposed to hate him right now.” You look to the side, “But, yeah, I totally ate that shit up. He could’ve asked me to strip and I probably would’ve done it.” You shake your head, “Back on topic. Hate him, we hate him.” 

“Back to hating him.” Nobara says completely seriously. Creating an ‘x’ with her hands. “He’s not even that hot.”

You nod in agreement, before thinking, “Well… let’s not be crazy here.” 

Nobara sighs, “I know..” She says a bit disappointed, “I thought lying to ourselves would make us feel better, but I’m afraid I feel the same.” You nod in agreement. 

Your eyes light up, remember something, “By the way, I hope you brought some headphones.” You reach for yours, wiggling them in the air. 

Nobara gives you a questionable look, before slowly saying, “Why?” She takes them from you, allowing her fingers to run over the cold metal. They’re heavy, and feel really nice. She puts them on, and instantly notices their sound proof. 

That makes her stomach turn a bit. 

You pull them off her head, letting them fall into your lap. “Haven’t I told you what happened on my first day here?” You tap your bottom lip, thinking for a moment, “I could’ve sworn I did…”

“You probably did.” She falls back on your bed, getting comfortable in your soft sheets. “Sometimes I just stop listening, you tend to yap a lot.” She cattily smirks, closing her eyes completely pleased with herself. 

“I will make you sleep with Yuuji tonight, Nobara. Don’t test me.” You deadpan, grabbing a pillow and slapping it over her face. She dramatically puts one of her hands in the air. You smile at this, “I know you’re not going to be happy with how loud he snores.”

“No! Not again, I’ve been hit!” She laughs into the pillow, “Oh, but please do. I’m sure adding more blackmail into my Yuuji collection will make me happy.” She pulls the pillow away from her face, tapping your cheek. “There’s no winning for you here, babe.” 

You slap her hand away from your face, “I hate you.” 

･ ｡ﾟ☆:  *･ November 28th, 2023 ☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

Tuesday

Eating breakfast with Yuuji is an activity you didn’t think you would miss, until right now. 

Yuuji hands you a paper towel, “Now, watch me.” He places the paper towel over the bowl, covering the flakes underneath the towel. “Watch carefully.” He whispers, now placing his palm over the towel and applying pressure to it, crushing the flakes underneath his palm. 

“Why are we–how does this enhance the eating experience, Yuuji?” You mimic his actions, feeling the flakes awkwardly poke and prod at your skin under the pressure.

“Trust me, I’ve done this since I’ve gained consciousness.” Yuuji reassures, peeling off the paper towel and looking at the now small flakes, then nodding to himself in approval. “Perfect, now we can add the milk. 

You remove your towel and allow Yuuji to pour in the milk, swirling your spoon in the food. “Okay, and I’m allowed to eat it now, right?” You narrow your eyes at him suspiciously, “You won’t throw out my food again, right?” 

Yuuji sighs, taking a bite of the cereal while mumbling, “Don’t patronize me.” 

You follow suit, taking a bite of the food and humming with satisfaction. “Yuuji…” You begin, chewing your food slowly to build suspense. Placing your finger in a curve above your lips. 

Yuuji’s eyes light up with excitement, nodding his head excitedly, “Yeah!” 

You nod a few more times, taking another spoonful and chewing slowly. “Yes, I see.” You look him dead in the eye, “It’s… exactly the same.” That’s not a complete lie, but you can admit it’s more fun to eat now. Less poky and hard. 

Yuuji collapses on the floor, crumbling to his knees. “You kill me a little every single day.” He sticks his tongue out, a small ‘bleh!’ leaving his mouth, “If I die at the ripe age of forty, I’m blaming you.”

You laugh, patting his head while you continue to eat your food. “It’s okay Yuuji, I’ll probably be in my death bed right next to you.” You quickly finish your meal, placing it in the sink while lowering Yuuji’s bowl to his height. Allowing him to take it from your hands and continue his food. 

“I’m going to be getting ready.” You pat his head again, a part of you tempted to kiss his head, but you suffice with the head pat. “You enjoy your food, babe, I’ll be getting changed.” You start to walk to your room, before pausing for a moment, “Also, I’m not going to my classes today.” 

Yuuji stuffs his face with food, while his eyebrows pull together in a worried expression. “What, why?” He stands up, shoving his plate in the sink. “Are you not feeling well? Or, did something else happen?” He’s worried, which is endearing.

“No, I’m okay.” You reassure him, and continue to your room with Yuuji behind you. “I just have some work to catch up on, and some other stuff happening.” You wave your hand dismissively, “Some family stuff I need to work out with my parents.” 

Yuuji pouts, “Oh, I hope everything works out, then…” He scratches the back of his neck, his cheeks tinting in red ever so slight, “If… if you have anything you want to talk about, I know Nobara is your best friend and all, but you can talk to me, too.” 

You stop, looking at him from your shoulder with a bit of a dumbfounded look, before a smile builds on your lips. Immediately turning on your heel and hugging him, arms snuggly around his torso. “Don’t worry, Yuuji, it’s nothing bad.” You squeeze him a bit tighter, then pull away while smiling at him. “And, thank you.” You tilt your head, “I hope you can also come to me with any problems you might have.”

Yuuji smiles at that, nodding eagerly. “I promise I will!” 

“You make it sound like you’re going to look for a reason to cry in my arms now.” You move to your door, pushing it open with a small huff. 

“Maybe, I am.” Yuuji grabs his red converse and sits down on the floor to put them on, “Uhg! Ouh!...” He groans, placing his fist against his chest as if he stabbed himself, “I think I’ve been stabbed, or worse…” He lets his head fall, “I think my childhood trauma is coming back again.”

You laugh, moving from your door and hugging his head, pulling it into your chest. “Awh, my poor poor baby, it’s okay.” You tap his head, kissing his hair. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here.” 

Yuuji lets his hands fall slack to his sides, you can feel his lashes blinking, tickling your skin slightly. “I…” He slowly starts, a bit unsure, “Uh, I don’t know if I weirdly like this, or really, really hate it.”

You loudly laugh, finally standing back up, “Maybe, you’re touched deprived.” You enter your room, “It’s okay if you are, Yuuji, we all are.” You glance at your room, the clock on your drawer catching your attention. It makes you loudly gasp, “Wait, Yuuji, it’s almost time for the bus to be here!” 

Yuuji panics, shoving his shoes on while not bothering to tie the laces. “Oh crap! I completely forgot about the time!” He pushes himself on his feet, running into his room and grabbing his bag, sloppily throwing it over his shoulders.

You giggle a bit, pushing yourself on the hallway wall and letting him pass you, “Have a good day Yuuji, I’ll wait for you to come back.” You kindly wave goodbye, but it’s not returned, which you don’t dwindle too much on. 

You move to your room, picking out an outfit which was somewhat suitable for a nice day in, while being equally as comfortable. Some black yoga pants, with some white socks and matching leg warmers, along with an oversized gray sweatshirt.

You’re quick to grab your computer, opening it up only to get an unfavorable reminder of the unfinished project you have yet to complete. It’s definitely… close to being complete, but close in the sense of; You feel like it’s only a few more paragraphs, but the moment you start writing you realize how much more you have to add before it’s actually done. 

Whatever, you have the whole day to try and complete it. 

You open your contacts, click your father’s name for a facetime and hold your breath until he picks up. You’re immediately greeted by his forehead when he does answer, which makes you stifle a small laugh. 

“Hi, dad.” You whisper, waving politely as you scoot back and lean on your bed, your computer propped on the small coffee table, “You need to bring the phone back more, so I can see you.” You say with a small laugh. 

“Oh.” He extends his arm all the way, letting you see the room he’s in and a good chunk of his body. “Is that better?”

You laugh, nodding your head, “Mhm, it’s perfect.” You grab a blanket, wrapping it around your shoulders, “You can set up the phone on something, that way you don’t have to hold it.” You point at the desk behind him, “Set it up on your desk.”

You dad nods, setting up the camera–with a few slips–and nodding to himself in pride once it sits comfortably on the light. “I got it, baby, I told you I could do it.” He gives you a cheeky thumbs up, before narrowing his eyes at the phone. 

You mimic his actions, before crossing your legs over one another, “Do you like the place? I get free accommodation for this month.” You say with an unsure smile, twisting your computer to let the camera record the whole room. 

“Nothing is for free…” He tells you with an unimpressed expression. 

“No, I’m very much living here for free.” You push your hair behind your shoulders, “Although, I do have to live with…” You cringe, taking in a deep breath. “I have to live with two brothers…” You awkwardly wait for your father’s reaction, but it doesn’t come. Which makes you feel even worse if he just scolds you. 

He thinks for a moment, “Are they making you clean or cook for them? Or worse?” He grabs his chest, “...Are they–are they distracting you from your studies?” He seems extremely distressed by this idea, almost tearing up.  

You slap your head, “No, dad, they’re not distracting me from my studies, or making me clean or cook for them.” You lean on the table, resting your cheek on your hand, “You already know I can’t cook for the life of me.” 

Your dad thinks again, “Huh, I guess you’re right.” He sighs, “What are we going to do with you?” He stands up, “Here, I’m guessing you want to see your mom, I’ll go get her for you.” He pretends it’s a chore, dragging his feet on the ground, while loudly sighing, before laughing to himself and prancing away. 

You giggle, waiting patiently for your mom. When she does, she sits on the chair of the desk, passing you a small wave. Her face is extremely relaxed, drooping a bit. 

You wave with a smile, “Hi mom.” 

You watch as she lifts her hands, waving back. Her face remains the same, uninteresting and droopy. Paralyzed, and unable to move. But, you know if she could, she would smile back at you. 

You feel your bottom lips wobble, before you narrow your eyes at her, “Have you been taking your meds? I know you tend to get off them.” You point your finger at her playfully, “I know you tend to go long without them, too. It’s probably why you can hear colors now.”

She laughs, but it’s more gargled and tiresome, mumbled in an inhuman way, her face remains the same, but her throat contracts with her laughter. She lifts her hands, telling you, “I have been taking them, doctor.” 

You nod approvingly, finally looking at her face again, “Good. I don’t want to make a call again.” It’s a bit humorous now, but not three weeks ago when your dad—with full seriousness—screamed at you, ‘She’s off her meds!’ Which… is the situation boiled down to something funny and simple. It unfortunately didn’t feel like that when it happened. 

“You are living somewhere new? I heard you said for free.” Your mother tells you, her hands are a bit shaky with age. It’s something you’ve grown used to. 

“Yeah, I made a friend and they offered their place to me when the original apartment didn’t work out.” You sigh, waving your hand dismissively, “I’ll tell you all about it when I come for Christmas. It’s a long story.”

Your mom pauses for a moment, and you know, if it weren’t for her paralyzed face, she would be smiling at you right now. It hurts when you think about something in that nature. “Can not wait to hear, baby.” 

You nod, a bit of worry falling over your face, “Are you okay? I’m sorry I had to leave so fast, but I couldn’t miss another week of school.” You shake your head, scratching the back of your head. “I’m actually really behind right now, and had to skip today…”

“Naughty girl.” She shakes her head, “I thought I taught you better. But, I’m alright, just a bad episode. Nothing I couldn’t tough through.” She taps her face, looking at it through the call, “Besides, who knew it would be that bad, right?” 

You can’t help but feel your chest tighten a small bit, “Yeah…” You lean to the side, trying to find a way to change the conversation. “But, uhm, how has the family been? Anything interesting happened in the few weeks I left?” You pass her a shaky uneven smile. 

“Thank you for coming.” Your mother tells you, “I’m sure it was scary to receive that call, I’m sorry I put you through that.” Ever since you were a teen, she developed the ability to read you like an open book. 

You pass her an empathetic smile, shaking your head softly, “Don’t worry, I was just freaking out. Besides, I’m always happy to help, it’s why I stayed so long, mom.” You wave your hand reassuringly. “I love you.” 

She nods, lifting her hand. She points her pinky up, then, her pointer and thumb. Followed by her pinky and thumb, while she presses the rest of your fingers to her palm. It’s a phrase you’re more used to reading from her, than you are hearing from her. “I love you.” 

It makes your chest squeeze, your eyes glossing over just a bit. 

The rest of the conversation is brief, saying a quick hi to your sibling, and telling a few details about your academic life. Mentioning a few names such as Yuuji, Megumi, Nobara, and–of course–Sukuna. Of which she picks up on an unsure eyebrow quirk. 

She is all over that. All of which you shut down immediately. Well, not immediately… or very firmly. But, enough to where she’s sufficing with a small head nod.

Even when the end calls, you’re still reeling in slight embarrassment, cupping your face as you try to calm down. Curse, Sukuna. He can go away forever. Speaking of Sukuna, you really need to give that project more of your attention. 

You instinctively reach for your phone, for the video message recorded on it, only to remember, “Shit, I left it in the kitchen.” You open your door, moving to the kitchen. You can hear a muffled conversation, which you don’t think much of–unfortunately–in favor of your cellular device. 

You falter for a moment when your eyes land on the couple standing at the front door. Sukuna’s back is to you, leaning on the door frame, while the blonde woman is talking to him with a sweet smile. An airy laughing while occasionally pushing his shoulder, chest, or arm

You instantly want to turn back, come back to retrieve your phone in a few minutes, but before you can do that, you and the blonde woman lock eyes. Her sentence or obnoxious laugh–you can’t tell what the difference is–coming to a quick pause. 

She waves, grabbing Sukuna’s arm while saying, “Awh, look! It’s your little roomie.” She smiles, when Sukuna finally turns to look at you, “You should probably spend some time with her, I know she’s jealous since I have your attention.” 

You glare at her, hate and spite brewing in your head, venom to spite back at her bubbling your throat and burning to be let loose. But, you compose yourself, passing her a simple eye roll and walking to the kitchen to retrieve your phone. 

“Damn, looks like she’s scared of me.” She whines, “Looks like you aren’t his favorite anymore, huh?” She sings, tilting her head to the side, to peer at you from the door frame. “Don’t worry, I completely understand, I would be upset if I wasn’t his favorite toy anymore–”

“You’re ugly, and your sexy face is absolutely horrendous.” You tuck your phone into your yoga pocket, “I would know, I saw the picture.” You loosely point at Sukuna, “In fact, we laughed at you. Then, he told me to block you, for the second time.” You blink a few times, “Babe, we both know you’re not even a toy to Sukuna, you’re just a fly.” 

She blinks a few times, her eyes moving to Sukuna in some form of support, only to see it not given to her. It’s just a side profile of Sukuna looking at you while he bites the inside of his cheek. Is the fucker trying not to laugh at her?! She scoffs, turning on her heel and leaving the house. Slamming the door behind her. 

You’re upset, and Sukuna can see that. 

“You know, some support would’ve been nice?” You whisper, but your voice grows with spite as you add, “Defending myself is fucking embarrassing. Especially when you’re fucking her while I’m in the same house as you.” You go to the kitchen to grab your phone, tucking it into your pocket once you finally get it in your hands. 

Sukuna doesn’t say anything, “Things aren’t lik–” 

You shake your head, “I don’t want to hear it.” You wave him off, making your way back to your room. “You’re clearly too caught up in old nasty habits to be talked to.” You huff, instantly hugging yourself for some weird form of comfort.

Sukuna’s eye twitches, and something inside him snaps at your words. He doesn’t know why, but it sets him off, all the weird and unknown emotions from the weekend bubbling up and spitting venom at you. “What the fuck is your problem?!” Sukuna barks at you, moving after you with heavy footsteps. 

You instantly turn on your heel, making him stop dead in his tracks while you point at his face. “Don’t you even start with that! Don’t give me the innocent, ‘I did absolutely nothing!’ Bullshit, because you did. You know exactly what you did!” Suddenly, it feels like the stresses from the past weeks you’ve been through are boiling up and spitting out.

Sukuna takes a few steps back while shoving his head into his sweat pockets. “Sure, tell me then? What did I do?” He glares at you, passing you an annoyed eye roll. “What did I do to you that was possibly so fuckin’ bad?”

You scoff at this, rolling your eyes as you turn your head away from him. “Oh please, I know you’re not stupid, Sukuna. Why don’t you piece together the puzzle for me?” You wrinkle your nose, pinching the bridge of it.

“What? You’re going to be like every other girl and throw the ‘I was using you,’ excuse at me? God, that shit is so fuckin’ annoying.” He rolls his eyes, waving you off. “You’re acting like you’re so innocent and perfect, too pretty and sweet to ever hurt anyone.” 

You blink a disbelief, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

Sukuna laughs at you, “Oh, as if you don’t know.” He pulls his hands out his pockets, sitting on the ledge of the couch. “You’re worse than me.” He looks away from you, licking his teeth, “I’ve seen the way you hang off Yuuji. Toying and touching his body. Then, follow me around with hearts in your eyes.” 

You scowl at him, “Are you kidding me?!” You slap your hands over your eyes, “I already told you me and Yuuji are just friends. How many times do I need to drill that into your head?!” 

Sukuna scoffs at that, “Right, and you’re telling me Yuuji knows that? That he’s just letting you do these things to him. Letting you get close and show him love without anything else behind it?” 

You can see where he's coming from, but you’re too pissed to care. You’re not looking at him, “Oh my god, what is this even about? I’ve already told you, no, I’m just his friend. I care about Yuuji, and I don’t want to do anything with him.” You explain, a bit desperately. “He is more than aware of that.” Yuuji knows I like you. 

“Right, you’re just so helpful. Never hurting anyone by saying or doing anything that could hurt them.” Sukuna rubs his face exasperated, “I swear, you’re just like everyone else–”

This makes you follow him into the living room, “I can’t believe you’re grouping me with other girls right now, I can’t believe you’re treating me like I’m some other girl you can just–” 

“Throw out?” He cuts you off, walking into the living room. Your expression falls at this, your shoulders tensing, while pain dancing between your eyes. Sukuna feeds off this. “Yeah, believe it or not, doll, you’re not that special, a week spent with me isn’t going to give you any sort of special treatment.” He laughs, pointing at the kitchen, “If you want, I can give you a cookie if that’ll make you feel better.”

You feel your eyebrows furrow, your bottom lip quivering ever so slightly. “Why is it wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? It feels like you’re trying to hurt me right now.” You gesture at him, “I swear, you’re acting like you don’t know me.” 

“Because, I don’t. You don’t know me, I don’t know you, this is what we agreed on.” Sukuna throws his hands in the air annoyedly. 

“Stop saying that!” You can feel your eyes glaze over a bit, which makes you turn your back to him and move to the dining room table. “That whole deal–is fucking bullshit, stop bringing it up. It isn’t helping you right now.” 

You can hear Sukuna sigh, rolling his eyes as he says, “Right, completely forgot. How could I forget the amount of times you threw it in my face during the week. Shit, completely my fault.” 

You furrow your eyebrows at him, your jaw dropping a bit, “Are you mad at me?” You ask in shock, “Oh my god, wait, do you think you’re the victim here? Do you really think that I’m the bad guy, and you’re somehow–”

“You’re not the good guy.” Sukuna barks back, “Fuck. Why do you think you’re the good person here? You’re just like me–” 

“What are we talking about?!” You yell, “I have no idea why you’re mad at me–just tell me what’s wrong, or what I did wrong.” You sigh, leaning your head back slightly with exhaustion, “You can’t throw an argument in my face, when I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” 

“That makes it worse.” He tells you, a bit more calmly than before, “You have your reason why you’re angry with me, and I have mine.” 

“But, you can’t be mad at me over something I’ve never done!” You’re raising your voice again, and you will scold yourself later, but right now your emotions are all over the place. “Just tell me why you’re mad at me.” 

Sukuna bites his cheek, looking away with an annoyed expression, “Oh please, I know you’re not stupid, doll, why don’t you piece the puzzle together for me.” Instantly, your words from Thursday bounce in his head, and his chest tightens in pain. Now, this conversation hurts. 

It really hurts. 

“The stuff you said at the party.” You start, your hands shaking, this conversation is what you’ve been terrified to have. Now, you’re forced to have it with your emotions running wild, and no game plan on how to approach it. “You did stuff with me, knowing you were just going to dump me the next day.” 

Sukuna passes you an unreadable expression, “Don’t pretend you didn’t know that, you constantly reminded both of us.” He passes you a cocky smile, “Don't forget, you were the one who literally said you were a burner phone the day before. What else was that supposed to mean? I’m supposed to keep you around after I make the call?” 

“Are you seriously saying that since I was used, you didn’t need me anymore?” You’re in disbelief, but more importantly, in so much more pain. “You just want to toss me out?” 

It’s silent. 

It’s so silent, you can hear your heart beating in your heart. A part of you thinks you can hear Sukuna’s. 

Sukuna leans back on the arm rest of the couch, licking his canines as he looks away from you. “What else would burner phone mean?” He’s still not looking at you, but his expression isn’t filled with anger anymore, it looks more… pained. It looks like.. Sukuna is equally as hurt as you. “You said it yourself.” When he says your name to punctuate the sentence, it feels like a weapon stabbing into your chest. 

You feel your bottom lips wobble, “No, stop.” You whisper at him, “You knew, and I knew, that wasn’t going to happen. You weren’t just going to pretend nothing happened, the deal was a lie from the moment we made it. We knew this. You knew this.” You finally turn to look at him, finding composure to finally speak. “I know–and you can lie to my face, say you don’t care about me, but I know you do.” It’s scary to say that, knowing he may disagree. 

Sukuna stills at this, unsure of what to say, before forcing the words out, “Don’t flatter yourself.” He crosses his arms over his chest, “I swear, it’s like you actually like me.” 

You feel your eyes water again, “You’re so!–Ugh.” You twist your head away from him, whipping your eyes with the back of your hand. You absolutely hate that you can’t so much as yell without your eyes watering. 

Sukuna laughs, “Wait, don’t tell me…” He tilts his head to the side, trying to look at your face, “You want to be with me, you actually want to be with me?” He laughs again, his hand placed over his face, “That’s so funny. Didn’t I tell you to drop that stupid fuckin’ dream?” 

This makes you snap, yelling, “I don’t want to be with you! Why can’t you understand that!” Your chest is hurting, your heart pounding in your chest. You’re lying right now, you’re lying to Sukuna and yourself, why are you lying right now?

Still, the words keep pouring out, “I would never want to be with you–be with someone like you. You’re terrible at communicating, an asshole, full of himself, and a horrible pers–” You slap your hand over your mouth, stopping yourself. 

Sukuna clenches his jaw, pushing himself off the couch, “You think so?” He laughs to himself, “You don’t even know how fuckin’ horrible I can get, you want to hurt?” He stands up straight, collecting himself in a way. 

It feels like your chest is tearing in pain, a part of you wants to ask, ‘What do you mean?’ But, you don’t have the strength, more or less the willpower to know the answer. What else could Sukuna possibly say to hurt you even more than now? A part of you is thankful he doesn’t finish, it’s a question left in the air, and you’re happy for that. You’re glad he has some power to not say something that will completely tear you apart. 

Sukuna sighs, nodding his head to himself, “But, I’m glad we can agree. Who would want to be with someone like you?” He says with a smile, but it’s uneven and shaky, almost wobbly, “So, does this mean you can stop bitching at me? You can finally hop off my dick and leave me the fuck alone.” 

You’re breathing shakily, you instantly open your mouth to spit more venom at him, before you stop. Letting silence fill the area, it is heavy, and painful. You can even hear Sukuna’s heavy breathing. “You don’t mean that…” It’s not even a whisper, but you know Sukuna can hear it. 

Sukuna doesn’t respond.

You finally feel your tears slide down your cheeks, hot and wet, “What are we even arguing about? Why are we arguing?” You sound tired, your voice is a bit strained and small. “If you want me to leave you alone–not talk to you, why are you arguing with me right now?” You thickly swallow, “You don’t just argue with someone you don’t care for, Sukuna.” 

Sukuna still doesn’t look at you, just walks to the kitchen and grabs his keys. “Sure.” He starts walking to the garage. When it clicks what he’s doing, you feel your heart squeeze in pain. 

He’s leaving. 

More tears slide down your cheeks, “Don’t leave.” You whisper, watching as he walks towards the garage door. “Please, don’t leave me.” You cup your face, trying to hide your tears. “I want to talk, let me talk to you…”

That seems to spark Sukuna, his body freezing mid step. You can see him shaking, his eyes trained on the doorknob. His lips together, his eyes narrowing, he slowly shakes his head. “I can’t.” He whispers, opening the door, then mouthing, ‘I’m sorry.’

When the door closes, you crumble to the floor. Sobbing with a heave as you break down. You wish you could go back in time to the beginning of the previous week, you wish you could take back everything you said, you wish you never agreed to Sukuna’s deal, and you wish… more than everything in this world. 

That you didn’t like Sukuna. You wish you didn’t fall apart over a stupid conversation, because he just doesn’t care about you. You wish the argument between the two of you wasn’t as painful as it is. 

You wish you could just hug him, and cry into his arms while he consoles you. Whispering, apologizing, and explaining how he feels. You just want to know what he’s feeling, what he thinks… You don’t believe he doesn’t care. 

You refuse to. 

It hurts too much to believe him. 

Little do you know, Sukuna crumbles to his feet with you. 

･ ｡ﾟ☆:  *･ November 14th, 2023 ☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

Wednesday

Class was… it was something. You were distant, bored, and mentally not there. Even Gojo noticed something was wrong with you, but you shrugged him off. Nobara passed him an empathetic look, before quickly following after you. 

Even at your club, most of your peers were asking things along the lines of, ‘Are you okay?’ or, ‘Did something happen?’ and, ‘Do you just want to go home?’ maybe, ‘You look rough, president.’ But, it was all in vain, you remained silent the entire time. Keeping your attention on paperwork you had been avoiding up until the point, not bothering to even pass a single word to anyone. You were incredibly quiet the entire day. Even now, on the way home, you’re still incredibly quiet.

You lean on Yuuji’s shoulder, holding his hand as a form of comfort. Sneaking small pieces of his food to snack on. You’re wearing sunglasses, which constantly fall down your nose with each bump from the bus. 

Yuuji is resting his head on yours, his eyes on your head. He came home to you in your room, softly sniffling, while your eyes were red and swollen. Yuuji quickly pieced what happened by his brother’s absence and your silent cries. It reminds him too much of himself years ago.

Even when the two of you enter the house, discarding your blocky sunglasses on the counter, your eyes are still puffy, and Sukuna is still gone. Yuuji is quick to make an ice pack, wrapping it with a paper towel and holding it to you. “It can help with swelling.” 

You pass him a pathetic smile, but it’s more to the floor than to Yuuji, not only is your vision impaired by your swollen eye, but your vision is literally impaired, and wearing glasses somewhere outside the private space of your room sounds very unappealing.

You take the ice pack and press it to your eyes, leaning on the island counter and sighing. You reach your hand out for Yuuji, which he gives you immediately. “Thanks, Yuuji, this means a lot.” You laugh a little bit, “I feel like your child right now.” 

Yuuji laughs, “Don’t worry, I’m used to dealing with crying people.” He looks to the side, scratching the back of his neck. “My ex-girlfriend was a real cryer when we were together. And, you know, there was this one time a girl was sobbing at my door for Sukuna.” 

You groan at that, letting your head fall for a moment, “Are you okay with this?” You ask softly, “I don’t know, I feel like it can be so exhausting, especially since it’s your brother.” Especially with what you’ve been through, is what you want to say. 

Yuuji tilts his head to the side, thinking for a moment, “Uh, no?” He shrugs, “Well, maybe I did when I was younger, but… now it’s a bit different.” He notices the way you tense, a small smile building on his lips, “I’m guessing he told you what happened?” 

You cringe a bit, pulling the ice pack down from your eyes. “I’m sorry, Yuuji, I really didn’t want to pry, but I just feel… terrible. You know? I’m sorry, this is probably worse for you.” You look away from him a bit ashamed. 

Yuuji laughs, shaking his head, “It’s fine, I don’t even want to hear an apology.” He bites the inside of his cheek, mumbling, ‘Sukuna owes you an apology…’ Before placing his hand on your shoulder, “But, I know why Sukuna is the way he is, and I’m just waiting until he’s comfortable to talk about it.” 

That gives you some small reassurance, you wrap your arms around him, hugging him tiger then you’ve hugged most people in your life. You whisper, “Thank you so much, Yuuji, you’re really an amazing person.” You close your eyes, bringing him closer, “I’m sure it was really hard on you, too.” 

Yuuji sighs, hugging you back, “Yeah, don’t worry.” Your name punctuates the sentence softly, and lovingly. His forehead resting on yours, “But, this is nice.” You giggle, nodding your head in agreement.

Only for the cute moment to be ruined by a knock, both you and Yuuji popping your head toward the direction. You blink a few times, slowly asking, “Did you invite someone?” You slowly pull away from his arms, pressing the ice pack against one of your arms. 

Yuuji shakes his head, “Sukuna?” 

You cringe at that name, praying inside your head it isn’t Sukuna at the door. “Who knows.” You turn away, tempted to hide in your room. You almost do, your feet naturally turning in the direction, getting ready to leave. 

Yuuji notices, “Here, wait, I’ll check the peephole for you. I’ll see who's there.” He smiles, skipping to the door, trying to distract you, “Who knows? Maybe, it's a solicitor.” 

You raise your eyebrows, switching the ice pack to a different eye. “You sound way too excited for a solicitor…” You’re even tempted to follow after him, but quickly decide that is a really bad idea. “What if what they’re selling you is complete garbage?” 

Yuuji shrugs, “Don’t tell Sukuna this, but I buy everything they offer.” He smiles to himself, hand on the door knob. “On his card, phone number, and email, of course.” He laughs a little bit, “I can always hear him complaining about weird magazines, or email chains he’s mysteriously signed up to.” 

You pass him a curious look, Yuuji just shrugs at this, “Hey, I can still be over what happened, but I like to think this is my revenge for all those years ago.” 

You laugh again, making your way to the fridge. “Good for you, Yuuji.” You open the freezer, trying to find a frozen bag of peas, or any other frozen bag of vegetables. It’s also a way to hide your face when Yuuji opens the door, in the case where it is Sukuna at the door. 

Despite the distance being short between you and the door, you can’t really hear the conversation he’s having, which automatically makes you assume it is a solicitor. Until you hear a very distinct, “Oh, that makes a lot of sense!” From Yuuji. 

Weird, you think. Naturally wanting to look at who Yuuji is talking to, but you keep your attention on yourself. It could be a solicitor, and you sincerely don’t have the money to even entertain that idea. 

You close the freezer door, tilting your head at Yuuji with one good eye. He turns his head to look at you, passing you a kind and comforting smile, “It’s for you!” He takes a few steps back, a gesture that makes you naturally move to the door to take his spot. 

For me? You mentally think. Who would be here for you? You haven’t invited anyone over, more or less spoken to anyone besides Yuuji the entire day. So, who would be here to see you? Maybe, Nobara with a surprise ‘cheer up!’ visit? You hope not…

But, when you finally reach the door, you feel your lips part in shock, blinking at the person in front of you. Their white hair flutters with a soft blow in the wind, you don’t know how to react, more or less feel, to the sight of their face. It isn’t jealousy, but it isn’t excitement either. Their face is blank, emotionless, a stark contrast to when you first met them. 

“Uraume?”

Next Chapter: Ch. 6 - Forgiveness?

Tag(s): Tag(s)!: @openup-yourmind, @sherlock-holmes-jr, @maskedpacific, @gasp-a-homo, @diogodxlot, @beahappyhoeee, @tojimeow, @sukunamylovexoxo, @yoontaedotin, @sukunaloverrr, @lanadelreylover4l, @raininginthemoonlight, @blackjanexx, @ethereally-lyann, @fritzzbitzz, @lanadelreylover4l, @chayunwoo, @madamteller

A/N: Hi hi everyone!! So, as of now, this was the last chapter that I pre-wrote, (excluding chapter 8) which means now, unfortunately, you do have to wait until I finish next chapter for an update. But, don't you worry too much, chapter six will come out sometime this, or next week. (Chapter 7 is more iffy on time.)

But, thank you for all the support so far, it genuinely has been so nice to hear what you think about the story, and how you feel about the characters. I'll try to have the next chapter out asap!

Thank for you reading! 🩷🥹

[sxtvrns]

the firsts i’ve never felt

🎶 now playing: clementine - grentperez

P: Kim Jongseob x Fem!Reader

S: You find yourself wandering the headquarters after being left unattended. He finds himself unreasonably intrigued by you.

C: meet cute, fluff, puppy love, inaccuracy, a bit sloppy, mentions of bullying, kinda rushed?

N: i’ve transformed my entire feed and started a bunch of masterlists and stuff! this fic is part of one of them that i need to design and stuff but i hope you’re loving the organization because i certainly am. i really wanna write but my brain is running out of scenarios i can work off of so if you dont hear from me for a while you know why. if i don't get a hair colour right sue me i can't memorize everything | all ages listed are korean, not international!

view the rest of the conversations ☆彡

please interact if you enjoy!

“Hey, honey, do you wanna come and visit my new job today? They’re showing me around, and you’re planning to work in the entertainment industry behind the scenes, aren’t you?”

…sounds like a super unprofessional thing for your mom to say on her first day of the job. However, the staff gave her leeway somehow after saying you were an aspiring makeup artist with a growing following. She said you could join in a few years, if you’d like. You still had time to think about it.

“So, how old is your daughter?” The employee asks.

“16.”

“What kind of makeup does she do?”

“She has a rather… broad spectrum. I could go into specifics but that would require me showing you examples and taking up your time.”

“Oh, go ahead! Besides, I could use a break from the work.”

The door to the elevator opens with a ding, both adults behind you not seeming to pay attention. You quickly but stealthy walk off the elevator, their attention still focused on your mom’s phone. As the doors close, they still don’t seem to notice, instead they continue going up, and you’re left alone in the quiet, empty hallway.

Somewhat quiet, actually. There was loud music coming from some of the rooms you could hear from outside as you walked by. Your phone buzzed in your hand, though you aren’t bothered to check it until another staff member sees you in the hall. She goes on her phone, types rapidly on the screen, and starts walking towards you.

You walk away from her at a quickened pace, turning the corner and beginning to run. You turn the corner again, briefly glancing at the rooms as you pass by, all of them with people inside and the lights on. Except for one.

The sound of steps sounded like it grew withe presence of multiple people, so you had no time to check and instead opened the door, and to your relief, no one was inside. You shut it quietly, hiding against the wall in hopes that the crowd passes by.

The buzzing from your phone earlier was frantic texts from your mom, asking where you went and specifying that the staff was now looking for you. You replied calmly that you ‘took yourself on your own tour’ and ‘got off as a joke in hopes she would notice’. You could practically hear her sigh at her phone as she responds with ‘i’ll keep you updated’ before leaving you on read.

You slide down against the wall, sitting and observing the environment around you. This was a dance studio, one of many that looked the same as some of the others. You didn’t want to get caught, so you stayed there for a bit on your phone, caught off guard at the sound of someone opening the door.

At first you panic, thinking someone from staff found you, but it was just some guy adorned in all black with a beanie and a mask, taking both of them off and somehow not noticing you.

You spoke too soon.

the first meet.

His eyes widened at the sight of you, the door he held open by a sliver. You hear something from outside.

“Jongseob, there’s some new hire’s daughter on the loose and she was last seen on this floor, have you seen her?” A staff member asks, the boy’s head peeking back in to look at you. You frantically shake your head and gesture for him to keep his mouth shut as he peeks out the door right after.

“I haven’t seen her, sorry.”

He fully closes the door this time, a sigh of relief escaping you as your eyes stayed glued on the boy that was nice enough to not snitch. “What are you doing here?” He asks, a reasonable question since you were in the studio for a reason other than dancing. “My mom works here. She’s starting today. And… I may or may not have gotten off the elevator too early.” You try to sum it up.

“Why?”

“Um, they were distracted. And I didn’t think the door would close right after I got off.”

“How did they even let you in?”

“I might work someplace like this as a makeup artist. When I’m older. My mom brought me along for her tour, and… that’s how I ended up here. I was running away from staff. If you want, I can leave.”

“I didn’t lie just for you to get out and defeat the whole purpose of it. It’s okay, you can stay as long as you need to.”

“Really? I’m not intruding?”

“My members won’t be here for the next little while, if you’re overwhelmed by the presence of multiple men.”

His joke makes you laugh, and you inch out of the corner you’re hiding in more, seeing him walk towards you and open the laptop on the desk. “How old are you now?” He suddenly asks, a question you find odd at first.

“16.” (international age = 14, turned 15 after a few weeks)

“Really? Me too.”

“You looked a little young. Are you a trainee?”

“I actually debuted a few weeks ago. We’re doing some promotional stuff and we have practice today.”

“Do you want me to leave when they arrive?”

“You can stay for now. It’s up to the leader if he wants you in or not. I guess if you aren’t distracting, you could watch. But I gotta wait for him.”

“I’ll check you guys out sometime. All the groups are listed in the lobby, so…”

“P1Harmony. You’ll find us easily.”

Quiet clicks come from the mousepad, as you merely stare up at him, who seems to be so focused on the screen in front of him. He looks up, then looks down at you, and your observing gaze fixed on his face. He ponders, before holding his hand out. “Nice to meet you. I’m–“

“Jongseob. You’re Jongseob.”

You finish his sentence for him, leaving him visibly surprised as you shake his hand.

“Um, I heard them say your name from the hall.” You explain, him nodding. “I’m Y/N.”

“That’s a pretty name.”

You find yourself blushing. “Thank you… um, also for not snitching. I texted my mom that I was okay, so everything should be fine now.”

“That’s good. Maybe don’t get off the elevator while she’s distracted next time.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Music starts playing from the speakers, Jongseob walking away to the center of the room to warm up. Your eyes are on him the entire time, since there was nothing else you could focus on. Even if you tried going on your phone, the music would draw your attention away from it.

You had a short attention span.

But watching Jongseob merely warm up seemed to prove otherwise. Your eyes were glued to his movements and small yet precise spotting, how precise he was when he matched every beat and transition. You stared at his reflection and his back the whole time, gaze moving to his face.

He caught you staring, looking back at you through the reflection of the mirror with a subtle smirk before going back to dancing.

He comes back to pause the music while you space out staring at the floor, as he takes off his beanie and runs his hand through his hair. “How’d I do? Seemed like I caught your attention.”

You clear your throat. “Good. Really good.”

He believes you have another reason you aren’t telling him, still deciding to sit down beside you despite doing so. “What are you doing?” You ask, looking at him. “Sitting with you. Why, does this bother you?”

“No. Just… I thought you’d be warming up more. That seemed short.”

“It seemed short because you were watching me. I was dancing for, what, a little over 10 minutes? I think I’ve warmed up enough.”

“Right.” You say, kind of understanding what he’s saying. “I like your hair. The colour is very pretty.” A light purple that could be described as lavender was what it was. It painted him as docile, gentle. He seemed to be so, given he was sitting with you like this along the side of the room.

“Thank you.” He smiles, sounding genuine. So genuine, in fact, that he smiles at you for the first time with his teeth showing, his hand covering his mouth right after. You take a mental note of that habit. “When did you start training?” You ask.

“When I was 12.” (international age = 10, turned 11 later that year due to late birthday)

“That young?! When I was 12 I was still scared of the concept of paragraphs…”

“I’ve always wanted to be a singer. Perform for others. There was a chance, so I took it.”

“I admire you for that. Taking risks that benefited you later in the future.”

“You took a risk today.”

“I did?”

“You stepped off the elevator and outran a bunch of staff successfully.”

“And I benefited from it how?”

“You met me.”

You’re unsure if he’s flirting with you, but your face heats up regardless. “Yet I’ll never see you again. But… I enjoy your company. And I appreciate your kindness.” When you look up from the ground, he’s handing you his phone, the keypad open.

“Let’s keep in touch.”

At first, you’re a little stunned at his boldness. But you accept his offer, typing in your phone number and letting him do the same with your phone right after. “I’ll try to text you back when I can. I’m pretty busy.”

“And I’ll try to not keep my phone on silent. I’ve missed so many interviews because of it…”

“For part-time jobs?” You nod. “I later learned they weren’t paying what they should be, so I guess I dodged a bullet.”

“Do you have a job now?”

“I work at a convenience store for income. My mom’s always saying I never needed to take a part-time job claiming we’re somewhat rich, but I wanted a bit of independence for myself. And I get free food and snacks sometimes, so that’s a bonus.”

“If I come visit, will I get free food?”

“Convenience store snacks are cheap enough already. Maybe I’ll give you ₩489 off.”

(₩489 = 0.50 cents)

He laughs at your offer. “I’ll take it.”

The door suddenly opens, five other men coming in all at once, stopping once they notice the two of you sitting together against the wall.

“Hello.” Jongseob greets, getting up. “Who’s that?” One of them asks, looking at you. “A… friend.” He responds.

“How did she get in here?”

“Long story.”

Their stares are reasonable, yet they make you feel uncomfortable as you feel out of place cooped up against the wall. Jongseob seemed to notice, shooting you a quick question. “Are you okay?”

The sound of his has your head turned to face him as you nod, acting like you weren’t spaced out prior. “I’m fine. This is the rest of your group?”

“Yeah. You can stay for practice if you’d like. I’ll ask Keeho.”

Surely they wouldn’t mind, you were just afraid you’d misinterpret their gazes for glares that would scare you off. “I would, but I should go. I already texted my mom earlier that I’d be leaving while she was still working. But I’ll leave. I don’t want to be… distracting.”

“You aren’t distracting at all.” He attempts to reassure you.

“Says the one who was looking at me through the mirror’s reflection.”

“Jongseob, should we warm up?” One of the boys asks, taking off their hoodie and beanie while they all simultaneously look at the two of you. That was an indirect invitation saying that they were about to start, him getting up his spot and lending you a hand to do the same.

“Thank you, Jongseob. I’ll text you.” He nods with a smile as you leave the room, your fast paced steps almost being heard from the inside of the room.

“Who was that, Jongseob?” Theo asks as the youngest walks over. “A new friend. She kinda abandoned her mom unintentionally and hid in here from the staff.”

“Oh, her. The people downstairs were talking about it.” Intak adds.

“In a good way or a bad way?”

“Mixed. How come her mom brought her here?”

“Y/N’s planning to work in the industry as a makeup artist, and her mom wanted to show her a potential place for hiring since she’s already working here.”

“She said she’d text you.” ‘What does that mean?’ Keeho meant to ask.

“I gave her my number.”

They’re all surprised, wide eyed and everything. “Really?”

“I wanna talk to her more. I think you guys scared her off.”

“We don’t look scary.” Intak looks at himself, then everybody else. Jongseob’s eyes dart over all five of them briefly. “You guys look terrifying.”

“As if you weren’t wearing the same thing when you left the apartment.” Theo sneers, looking at him weirdly. “Hey, she liked my hair and I saved her from a bunch of staff. I’m a pretty approachable person even with the coverups.”

“You approached her.” Theo retorts.

“And?”

Intak, very obviously antsy, whines. “Can we just start, please? We’ll talk about this later.” He groans in distress, convincing the rest of the boys to move on. Keeho speaks up first from the sea of silent stares.

“Let’s go, then.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

On the way home from school, you usually take the shift right after at the convenience store you worked at. It was close to home but not far from school, you managed to be on time for majority of your shifts.

Your coworker seemed to be eye candy for the girls your age that came in, but you saw him more as an older brother figure. He was super nice and always filled in for when you weren’t feeling well, and frankly, you thought it was a bit strange girls your age were pining over a man in his late 20s.

You had your fair share of attraction to more famous people that were older than you, but the fact you knew your coworker long enough to know things about him kind of made some situations awkward. Sure, he was cute, but come on. He’s practically looking for an actual job already and the fact he’s stuck with you is because he actually enjoys his part-time and you two were always only available for the same time slot every day.

You weren’t working today. You knew he was. So you assumed that it would just be a straight shot walk home.

Until you remembered you were a victim of verbal harassment.

You never did anything wrong, you were just laughed at and picked on by a specific group of girls for a reason you didn’t know. You always believed it was because you were prettier than them, given that their crushes ended up all mutually pining over you rather than them.

It’s a joke that you laugh at with them at times, yet the girls still don’t seem to like you.

At least they weren’t cutting your hair or anything. You could take words but you couldn’t take a pencil being dug into your hand.

So when you saw those girls turn the corner, you ran, fingers crossed they didn’t see you.

“Y/N, come back! We have something to tell you!”

They saw you.

With your backpack almost falling off, and the sound of rapid footsteps that sounded like they were getting closer, you spot the convenience store you worked at and run in, your coworker behind the desk and watching you hide behind the shelf closest to the wall.

At first, you’re panting, out of breath and coughing as you try to get it back.

“Y/N?”

You look up.

Jongseob is standing there, fridge door held open by his hand with a drink in the other, small clouds of steam coming from the cool air hitting the heated room. “Hi.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You would’ve told him the truth if the story was so long. You peek up from the shelf, fully standing up when you see no one there. “Are you hiding from someone?” He asks, obviously and reasonably clueless as he lets the door close. You merely nod, seeing the girls out of the corner of your eye through the glass and ducking down again, dragging Jongseob along with you.

The bell above the door rings as shuffling can be heard going towards the counter.

“Shin-Il! We saw Y/N come in here, did you see her?” One of the girls’ ear piercing voices rings in your ears, their attempt at acting cute and desperate simply making you cringe. Luckily you told your coworker about your complicated situation with these girls. “No, sorry. She isn’t working today.”

While you’re mentally pleading that they don’t care enough to check around the store, Jongseob’s eyes stay on you and dart around just in case, being able to hear the brief conversation as he stares.

“We’re looking for her! Are you sure she isn’t in the bathroom or something?”

“She isn’t here. Maybe she went somewhere else.”

They all whine, leaving the store as you let out a sigh of relief. You look up to see Jongseob offering you a hand, which you accept, helping you up as you lean against the fridge door, in disbelief that those girls were so clueless.

“Why were they looking for you?”

“They hate me, that’s why.”

“Why would they hate you?”

“Because I’m prettier than them. Long story.”

“The boys they liked all ended up liking Y/N collectively. Friendly with the boys, tormented by the girls.” Shin-Il suddenly appears out of nowhere, handing you a small bottle of water. “Who’s this, Y/N?”

“My friend.”

“How do you two know each other?” Jongseob asks.

“We work together part-time. We always end up picking the same shifts, and I make sure she doesn’t get killed by her fellow classmates when they come to visit.”

“Are these girls really bullying you, Y/N? Have you brought it up with anyone?” Jongseob asks, the worry noticeable in his tone. “They haven’t physically harmed me. When you consider all the details, they’re just jealous.”

“I don’t know any of the details, and that’s why I’m concerned.”

“I’m fine, Jongseob, really. I think I just… need to stay in here for a while. Just in case they’re in any of the other stores.”

“I can walk home with you, if you’d like.” He starts. “Um, just in case they show up or something, I can like, cover you–“

“I’d like that.”

You cut him off with your straightforward answer, and he seemed to be content as he sends you a closed lip smile. “Are you ready to go? Do you want anything?” He asks, looking out the window just in case. “I haven’t eaten lunch today, but I don’t have enough money on me.”

“I can pay for you. Get whatever.”

“Really? But I don’t know when I’ll pay you back.”

“You don’t have to if you can’t.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Jongseob–“

“Y/N, please. It’s okay, really. If you want to stay here and eat, you can do that too. I’ll wait.”

You feel a bit guilty as you get yourself dosirak and a small container of banana milk, seated at the window seat as Jongseob pays for your food. He sits down beside you, looking at the window and staring at you through your reflection in it. “Is it okay if you can tell me why those girls don’t like you?”

You swallow. “It’s really not a big deal, Jongseob.”

“Yes, it is. I know we’ve only ever talked a few times through text, but I’m… it sounds concerning that they’re willing to chase you for a few insults.” You sigh, taking a sip of your banana milk before trying to rack together all the pieces of the story.

“Well, Shin-Il kind of explained it to you already. Those girls have a crush on some guys, and those guys, at one point, ended up liking me. Now I just make fun of them for it as an inside joke, so I’m friendly with them. They don’t like me in that way anymore. Those girls dislike me because the guys liked me instead of them. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah. That’s… stupid.”

“It is. They’re too ignorant to see that there’s really nothing there anymore. Otherwise, I feel we could be good friends. But I’m patient enough to wait until they realize their harassment was for a reason thats existence already faded away.” You continue to wolf down on your food, as hungry as you were, Jongseob merely keeping watch outside and of you. To make sure you weren’t choking, of course.

As you leave the store and your walk home begins, so does the empty feeling in the air.

“Are you sure the walk home isn’t far?” You ask. “No, I’ll be okay. It won’t be dark for a bit.”

“And… I promise I’ll pay you back, okay?”

“You really don’t have to…”

“Yes, I do. I know you’re an idol and all that, but you’re still a human with morals.”

“If you insist. But if you can’t, you don’t have to.”

“I will.”

Jongseob’s beanie hides his vibrant purple hair, and as much as you are disappointed you aren’t able to see it, you understand that it would be a dead giveaway that he was in the entertainment industry.

“I watched your show the other day.”

“Really? How did I do?”

“You were awesome! I think it’s cool that there’s an idol out there my age, and I’m friends with you, no less. You looked really good, too.”

“Thank you…” He wasn’t expecting to get so flustered over your compliments. Lucky he had no choice but to wear his mask. Jongseob watches as you bring your phone to your ear as you send a greeting over to the person on the other side of the line.

“I’m coming, I’m on my way home.”

“Yes, I’m okay. I’m with a friend right now.”

“He’s walking home after me, he’ll be okay.”

“Look, can you not be go crazy over this right now? I’ll talk to you later.”

“What do you mean ‘you want to meet him’?! You never want to meet anyone!”

“Okay, okay, fine, just stop screaming in my ear. Bye.” You end the call and let out a frustrated growl as you tighten your grip on your phone. “Everything okay?” Jongseob asks hesitantly.

“Just because I said I’m walking home with a ‘he’ my mom’s freaking out over it and now she wants to meet you.”

“I think I’ve run into your mom while at headquarters. She acknowledges me but is usually in a rush.”

“She’s usually late, that’s why. But she always gets one step ahead of her work, so she always gets excused. But seriously, is it just because you’re a guy that she wants to meet you? She didn’t ask to meet my other female friends and they just met her voluntarily while walking with me.”

“What about your dad?”

“Overseas for work. He’s coming back in a few weeks. He’s much more laid back. I think my mom is a bit… overprotective. I can understand that, but she could’ve asked me to introduce you without screaming at me…”

“Is she… abusing you?”

“God, no! It’s just one of those days, y’know? Maybe she got pissed off she stubbed her toe or something. And just because she always wants to keep watch over me, I feel like retaliating.”

“Is that why you stepped off the elevator?”

“Not really. Maybe.”

He can’t help but smile after uncovering your true motive.

As you approach the door, you have no choice but to knock given that your keys were probably buried somewhere deep in your backpack. Your mom opens the door with a relieved sigh as she opens her arms for a hug, which you reluctantly accept in front of Jongseob. “I’m so sorry for yelling at you, honey, I… I was having a bad day and I took it out on you and I was worried that–“

“Mom. It’s okay, I get it.” She smiles softly, any grudge you held against her melting away instantly. It was surprising how she was able to manipulate you so quickly. “You’re friends with Jongseob?” She asks.

“You know his name?”

“Of course I know his name, your mom works at FNC too.” She says, referring to herself in the third person. “Are you sure you can walk home alone? Isn’t it a bit far by foot?”

“I’ll be okay, ma’am.”

“I can give you a ride, it’ll be much faster.”

“My dorm isn’t too far from here and it won’t be dark for a while. Thank you for the offer.”

“Get home safe, okay?”

“I will. Bye Y/N.” He says his goodbyes as he walks away from the premises of your house, your mom letting you in and closing the door fully. “You didn’t tell me you were friends with Jongseob. I would’ve started bringing you to work after school so you don’t have to stay home alone. I could get you a pass to come in.”

“Isn’t that an abuse of your position?”

“I care about my daughter, what kind of abuse is that?”

You sigh followed by a smile as you begin to head up the stairs.

“You should’ve gotten his phone number before he left!” She yells before you disappear into your room.

“I already have it!” You yell back.

“Since when?”

You freeze, unable to think of an answer.

“Long story!”

“I have time!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Shin-Il!”

“Shin-Il, I got this for you!”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Shin-Il!”

You roll your eyes as the countless crowds of girls just keep coming into the store. As much as it was annoying, you were glad you basically hogged all the free time since Shin-Il just had to be at the counter to tend to the flock.

“You could be doing better things right now.” He says, turning back to look at you. “Like what?” You rhetorically ask, looking up from your phone. “Restocking the shelves, cleaning the floors, doing your homework.”

“I am a very diligent student, thank you very much.”

“You don't even go to cram school. What about your fans?”

“I already posted last week. They know how intricate the process can be.” He begins to leave when you stop talking. “Gonna use the bathroom. The minute you stand up, you’re on register duty for the rest of the shift.”

“Then I’m not gonna stand up.”

He snatches the phone out of your hand, dangling it above his head. “Hey!” You jump up, struggling to reach your phone. Curse men for being so tall. “Give it back!” He hands the phone back to you, putting a hand on your shoulder and whispering into your ear.

“Your shift begins now.”

Jerk.

“That wasn’t even fair!” Shin-Il ignores you as you hear a door from a distance shut and lock. You sigh, annoyed, shoving your phone in your pocket before briefly scanning whatever was in view in case it needed restocking.

You don’t seem to be paying attention, because by the time you blink, a person is waiting at the counter.

“I’m so sorry, I’ll take those.” You apologize, embarrassed, scanning the person’s items and bagging them for him. You’re struggling to make eye contact as the person pays you, insisting you keep the change as they walk off. “Next.” You call, the person in line putting his things on the counter.

“Did you find everything you–“ You look up to see Jongseob, an innocent, toothy smile on his face. You noticed his fang, something you couldn’t help but find charming. “Hi.”

“Hi. Slow today?”

“All the customers came for Shin-Il and that’s it. You’re the second person I’ve served today.”

“I’m honored.”

“I don’t even know where he is and why he’s taking so long in the stupid bathroom. Anyways, how come you came here? Isn’t there a place closer to your dorm?”

“I just happened to be in the area. I also wanted to see you.”

Your heart flutters at the thought, but you shove those feelings down before it can reach your head. “Really? You could’ve just went someplace closer.”

“I figured I’d come say hi. I feel like this is the only time we can see each other like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like normal teenagers with normal lives.”

He pays for his items, leaving a container of banana milk out of his grasp. “You forgot–“

“It’s for you. Take it.”

“Jongseob, how am I gonna pay you back?”

“Don’t.”

“But–“

“Shhh.” He leans in, sliding the container towards you. “Let me be nice to you, okay?” He pulls away, acting as if he wasn’t so bold a few seconds ago. “Do you want me to walk you home again? I’ll ask the guys to come find me so I won’t have to walk home alone.”

“I don’t– um... I’ll be off a bit late.”

“Which gives me more of a reason to walk with you. It’s dark and you’ll be alone.”

“You know I don’t live far.”

“And you know that this is a safer decision and you’re ultimately denying it for the sake of my safety and convenience.”

“Jongseob, your safety matters way more than mine. You’re a freaking idol, for God’s sake. And I thought you came alone, what do you mean the guys can find you?”

“We decided to go out together. We ended up splitting up to explore and look around by ourselves. I think I’m the only person that went alone."

"I can tell. Did you ask them if they wanted anything?"

"Theo and Jiung are grabbing food for later." He pauses. "My offer still stands." He reminds, persistent. You look at him, appreciating his kindness but unsure if he was willing to wait. "I don't get off until 8."

"I'll walk around after I eat. You can call me when you're done."

Though you feel a bit guilty, it really seemed like he wasn't backing down. "Sure. Thanks. You're also holding up the line." He smiles before taking his items with him as he finds a seat, you taking the banana milk and sliding it closer to you and to the side. Shin-Il finally comes back after taking who knows how long in the bathroom, eyes landing on your friend.

"He's here again. You two must be close."

"Eh... lucky circumstance. What were you even doing in the bathroom, you weirdo?"

"What else would I be doing besides use it for its intended purpose?"

"No one pisses for 5 minutes, Il. You aren't fooling anyone. Is it that girl you're talking to?"

"I am not talking to anyone."

"When those girls find out they are gonna freak."

"I was buying tickets for a thing."

"I thought all public events were closed. You aren't that slick."

"Okay, maybe it is about that girl, but we're just going somewhere, that's all. But I was buying tickets for an exhibition, she loves art."

"Aw, how cute. So when's the wedding?" You take a sip from the small container of banana milk Jongseob bought for you, noticing he isn't in his seat anymore. How did he eat so fast? "Y/N, can you do restocks? We'll make more sales if I'm at the counter."

"You aren't that handsome. The schoolgirl rush is over, no one's gonna come in."

You were wrong.

Many people came in, just not his usual audience, but at least they weren't all up on him. You could hear the compliments from the fridge, but nothing seemed to bother you or him one bit.

As you take an empty box to the back, you go to grab another one until Shin-Il stops you. "I'll take it from here. Mun-Hee clocked in early. And you have a visitor." He pats your back as you get up, seeing Jongseob waving at you with a smile, taking his phone out and showing you the screen.

"It's 8 o'clock."

At first, you're shocked by his dedication, but frantically hurry to the back to clean up and grab your things in order to not keep him waiting. When you get back, you see him talking with your coworker, and you interrupt in order to stop Shin-Il from potentially saying anything embarrassing.

"All ready? Let's go."

You both say your goodbyes as you walk out the store, Mun-Hee nudging Shin-Il in the side. "Kid's got a boyfriend now?" She asks, only receiving a shrug in return. She's content with the answer, going back to your unfinished restocking job.

"You really did mean it when you said you'd wait."

"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?"

"Sometimes people change their minds or things happen out of their control that they just can't make it."

"I just walked around the park nearby and stuff. And– oh, I just remembered something." He stops, taking his beanie off and putting it on your head, revealing the alluring lavender that coloured his hair, something you secretly found appealing. You don't even have time to process that you were wearing the hat that covered his beautiful colour. "Jongseob, your hair. People might recognize you."

"Brought an extra. It's a bit late, so I doubt I'll get asked for a photo."

"So you planned this?"

"Whenever you send me selfie updates, you're never wearing a hat. You aren't even wearing a scarf, are you not freezing?"

"I am. I didn't think it'd get this cold, so I didn't bring one since it was warmer this morning."

"It'll always be colder at night, Y/N. You need to remember that, especially since you're working late."

"Did you even wash this?"

"Five times through the cycle. You seem to like it when we see each other, and conveniently, colder weather is approaching so I thought you should have it. You don’t have any hats at home?”

“I forgot to bring one. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. No need to pay me back, by the way.”

By the time you look back at him, his hair is covered again with another beanie, his stealthiness making you stifle a chuckle. “What?”

“I like your hair. I sometimes wish you didn’t have to hide it.”

“Well, I don’t necessarily hide it, I usually just wear hats because it’s more comfortable for me. A lot of people are dyeing their hair now, so I don’t think I’ll get recognized if I didn’t wear one.”

“How many people have you seen with purple hair in public?”

“Quite a few people, actually. So do you want me to take it off?”

“Huh? Why? Aren’t you cold?”

“At least I have a scarf. And you said you wished I didn’t have to hide it.”

“Weren’t you the one who said we shouldn’t risk anything when asking to walk me home?”

“Fair. But that’s a completely different scenario. I took a risk going down the path I’m still on today.”

“That is irrelevant.”

“Worth a shot.”

He walks with you to your door again, ringing the doorbell as you waited an unusually long time for your mom to answer.

“My mom said she could get me a card for FNC so I could stay there instead of alone at home after school. I tell her once and I’m already being pampered.” You laugh, Jongseob’s face lighting up. “Really? You should text me when you arrive! I’ll come find you, and I won’t bother if you have homework to do!”

“She hasn’t gotten it for me yet, I’m still thinking about it.”

“You should say yes so we can see each other in person more often! As long as your school isn’t far from headquarters, though.”

“We see each other when we call.”

“Seeing you like this is often just my luck. Otherwise I’m busy practicing or resting in the dorms. I like being able to talk to you in person.”

And as he smiles, that same one always on his face whenever you two seem to be together, you remember that he’s still just a kid. He’s the same age as you and he’s already in the spotlight, under the watchful eyes of so many fans through their screens.

You get to see him beyond that screen. You’ve been able to see him, meet him, know him beyond his idol persona. And he’s comfortable enough to share who he really is with you. You feel grateful for that.

The front door opens, your mom welcoming you in and noticing your friend by the door as well. “Jongseob, what a nice surprise! Such a coincidence you two ran into each other again. Thank you for walking with Y/N.”

“You’re welcome, Mrs. L/N.”

“Do you need a ride back?”

“Jongseob!” Someone calls, a group of five guys crowded outside your house, which you then identify as his group. “Let’s go, dude! Food’s gonna get cold.” Another one adds.

“I should get going. See you tomorrow, hopefully?” He asks, almost promising.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

You both stand there for a moment, looking at each other as if you were anticipating something as your mom goes ahead inside, the door still open. He suddenly steps forward and wraps his arms around you, one of his hands resting on top of your head.

You’re surprised, but return the hug carefully before he pulls away, sending you a small wave as he goes to join his group in departing.

Jongseob feels an elephant in the room as he walks with them, Theo carrying on a conversation that didn’t seem to make the vibe go away. It doesn’t seem to until they all got back to the dorm, when they started eating.

“That’s a different hat. What happened to the other one?” Intak asks rhetorically. “Y/N had it.” Soul answers nonchalantly, not seeming to understand the sarcasm behind it. “I gave it to her. She was cold.”

“Is she borrowing it?” Jiung asks. “I gave it to her. It’s hers now.” Jongseob reiterates, his point clarified.

“How does Soul know her name and we don’t?” Keeho asks, mouth full. “I talk to her all the time, do you not hear?” Everyone but Soul shakes their head. “She’s nice.” Soul adds.

“Hopefully she can come after school tomorrow. Her mom is trying to get her admission in so she doesn’t have to stay at home.”

“You met her mom?” Intak asks, Jongseob nodding. “I run into her in the halls, sometimes in the elevator.”

“What was the hug for? I swore she looked like she could’ve fallen asleep in your arms.” Theo asks, pointing out something that had Jongseob questioning.

“I… I don’t know.”

his first crush.

“I was feeling nice, I guess. It was cold. She looked cold.”

Jongseob didn’t really have a reason. He couldn’t think of why he left you off with a hug that night. The question kept him up all night.

Along with the speed of his racing heart.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

seob

seobie

jongseob

hi sorry

whats up?

my mom is looking for you what dance room are you in

why is she looking for me?

has to give you something? idk she told me to ask

okay im in 205

thanks

Jongseob puts his phone down and goes back to warming up, taking off his hat and focusing on himself. More specifically, his hair.

‘I really like your hair. I sometimes wish you didn’t have to hide it.’

Why couldn’t he get that out of his head?

As the song begins to end, he hears a knock on the door, finishing off and pausing the music before answering. He opens the door to reveal you, still in your school uniform.

“Hi!” You greet. At first, he’s stunned. You’re really here, and you’re really visiting him. “I got a card from the front desk.” He’s still standing there, jaw slack, staring at you in disbelief. All of a sudden, he’s hugging you, hiding your face in his shoulder as he looks up to check the halls, guiding you in and closing the door.

“Don’t want them to see you. But hi.” He mutters, clearing his throat after pulling away.

“They know I’m here. Have you warmed up yet? Are the rest of them coming?”

“Not for a while. I think I’ll take a break–“

“You dyed your hair!”

He freezes as your hand goes up to touch it. His color changed from lavender to a deep, light red. “Yeah. Do you like it?”

“It looks really good on you.”

“Do you prefer this or the purple?”

“Honestly, you look good with any color.” You sit down on the ground, opening your backpack but pausing before going any further. “Can I do my homework? I have one question left and it’s super easy.”

“Go ahead.”

Jongseob can’t help but focus on you the whole time, when you take your papers and pencils out, when you read through the worksheet, when you begin to write, so concentrated in the moment. He finds himself staring, and you do too.

“All done.” You look up to see him returning your gaze, something there when your eyes meet. “What was so interesting about me and my schoolwork?”

“Huh?”

“You were staring at me.”

He flushes, shaking his head and denying immediately. “No! I wasn’t!”

“Come on, you can admit it. You think I’m pretty.”

“I–“

“I think you’re pretty.”

You cut him off, answering with no shame and an innocent smile on your face. He can’t help but think you mean more than you really do. “You do?”

“Oh, I do. Your hair, your face, your style. It all compliments so well. Take it from me, I’m an artist.”

He thinks to himself as you await his answer. “I think you’re pretty too.”

“Really?”

“Really pretty.”

You both have the same kind of war going on in your head. You wish the other really meant it, but something was holding you back from believing they did. To outsiders, you looked like two people in love. In your head, you were hoping he really meant what he was saying.

“I, um, hope you don’t mind if I stay in for practice. And I do want to talk to you before your members get here.” You try to divert the conversation with the atmosphere telling you closure was needed. “Yeah, we’re working on our comeback actually, so…” He holds out his pinkie.

“You have to promise not to tell anyone. Not a peep.”

You lock your own with his. “Promise.” You both giggle at the gesture as your fingers pull away. “I know this is gonna sound like a really stupid, cheesy question, but do you mean it?”

The way you start off catches his attention. “Do I mean what?”

“When you said I was pretty.”

He’s stunned, stuck in place as he stares at you while forgetting to answer. “I know we’re still young, but I’ve had my heart toyed with before. And all he did was laugh.” You scooted closer to him. “So what I’m asking is, ‘seob, do you really think I’m pretty? Or are you just being nice?”

“What answer are you hoping to hear?”

“That you do. That you mean everything you’ve ever said to me.”

He’s frozen, all he can do is stare into your eyes as you await a response. “Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, I do mean it. You, Y/N, are one very pretty girl.”

“How many pretty girls do you see while out for work?”

“Many. None of them are as pretty as you.”

her first crush.

You know you’re the one that instigated this conversation, but still, you can’t help but blush at his response. “You’re all red.” He points out. “Do my words really mean that much to you?”

“All I wanted was closure.”

The door opens, Jongseob patting your head and joining the rest of the guys as if he didn’t just have you melting a few seconds ago.

You sat in the corner of the practice room, your face still hot, and your eyes focused on Jongseob the entire time.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

i want you to come visit but my mom isnt letting any visitors in the house

how come?

apparently we’re having a dinner party here in a few days or something? idk shes trying to keep it clean beforehand cuz my dad is finally coming back from his trip

he’s been overseas for how long??

a few months now, some promotion that he got resulted in him staying longer

oh wow

well you could come over to my dorm

actually?

i gotta ask the guys first

oh if u have to ask then its okay maybe next time

they said yes

i hear them cleaning up

what

are you coming or not

omw

You knock on their door, and when no one responds, you call Jongseob, and it suddenly opens to reveal sight of him holding the phone up to his ear.

“You have… a lot of stuff.” He points out, eyeing the large bag you’re carrying. “Are you sleeping over or something?”

“I actually… if it’s okay with you… wanted to do your makeup. I know you’ve been saying how much you want to try it and stuff and I figured we could do it if I saw you today but I forgot to ask–“

“Absolutely. Yes, please, come in, no one’s in my room. ‘Cause… I share a room, and, Jiung’s out and the rest are watching a movie.”

“I get it. I get your whole rooming thing. Am I gonna be in trouble for being here?”

“Not if you don’t get caught.”

“How mischievous of you. If you were to ever get into a scandal with me, would you care?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t mind that at all.”

You laugh it off as if your face wasn’t on fire, closing the door to his shared room.

“Ew, are they gonna make out in there?” Intak says in disgust with fake repulsion. “Just because Jongseob can get a girlfriend and you can’t is not a valid reason to be petty.” Keeho holds back his laugh. “Theo– you can’t say that! That is not funny!”

“Then why are you laughing?”

“…watch the movie.”

Meanwhile, in Jongseob’s room, you finish off his base, tapping brushes against palettes before gently stroking the pigments against his face. His eyes, specifically. The medium shade brought out the orange in his hair, but really, you’ve been wanting to try out a specific look for a while.

“Keep your eyes closed.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why?”

“Makes me feel old.”

“You’re older than me.”

“I’m the same age as you. Now hush.”

He blows a raspberry as you do his eyeliner, a miracle it didn’t smudge or that you didn’t mess up in any way. It was almost adorable how eagerly he nodded when you showed him your container of extra rhinestones.

You hand him a mirror, putting your extra equipment away before finding a tube of lipstick. “Wow.” is all he says until he puts the mirror down and sees you putting on said lipstick. “Oh, you were actually gonna… do that part?”

“Oh, no. I was just swatching. It’s a pretty shade, don’t you think?” Your lips are painted with a vibrant shade of red, bold and eye-catching as you turned to face your friend who’s struggling to keep his jaw from hanging. “Yeah. Really… bright.”

“Well, you know my style. Bold and bright. I decided to… take a break for a change. And I took it out on you.”

“You call this a break? I look fabulous.”

“It’s the rhinestone effect. But yes, this is a break since I only do my face most of the time. And the colours are neutral, but defined. Makeup therapy for me is a total stress reliever, but obviously my face can’t handle powders daily. And… I really needed this, especially after this week.”

“Exams?”

“I took them already.”

“This early?”

“I’m taking AP classes since I don’t do cram school. My school is aware, and honestly, surprised at my career choice. Peer pressure is getting to me more than it should.”

“I hope you don’t feel guilty about this in any way. You’re so talented.”

“My only talent is this. Maybe I’ll work behind the scenes in the entertainment industry all my life. And… there’s something else I need to tell you.”

“What is it?”

You exhale. “I got the job.”

“The job?”

“I’m your travelling makeup artist. I’ll be going with you for future tours and everything.”

He can’t stop his jaw from dropping now. “No way. You’re serious?” He asks, watching you nod eagerly as a big smile grows on his face, going in for a hug which you tightly return. “Y/N– that’s amazing! Does this mean I’ll get to see you every day?”

You nod. “It’s why I’m taking AP. Maybe I’ll switch next year, but I’m exempt from classes because of my success.”

“Wow, so privileged.”

“I’m just good at my job.”

You hear him chuckle, his eyes focused on you and that damn red lip. “I’m proud of you. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you.” You stifle a laugh. “I’m sorry, it’s just hard to take you seriously with the makeup.”

“You’re the one that did it!”

“You’re never in my style, and it’s over the top!”

The door opens and you immediately pull away from Jongseob, taking out cleansing products after sorting everything else in your bag. Theo stands there, still, staring at your friend all glammed up.

“How do I look?” Jongseob asks with dramatic poses to show off his makeup, Theo taking out his phone and taking pictures of him silently. “You did this?” He asks you, pointing at the boy that had your heart racing. “Did I do good?”

“He looks great. You should come out and show the guys.”

“I don’t wanna watch the movie out there though.”

“You can go back in here and continue making out with Y/N or whatever it is that you were doing in here in the first place.”

“I was not– hey!” Theo’s dragging Jongseob out of the room by his wrist, unable to keep his grip on the doorframe as you hear him groan. You can all hear the guys gushing over Jongseob’s face from the room, poking jokes at him and teasing him.

“Is that lipstick? Did she kiss you?!”

“No, no, nothing like that! She was swatching and it must’ve smudged on me…”

“I thought you two were kissing when I walked in.”

“We hugged.”

“Sure.” One of them snarkily replies.

“I’m gonna tell you who dies if you don’t stop talking.” You hear Jongseob threaten, referring to the movie that was currently on pause in the living room.

“No!”

He silently comes back to the room, seeing you sitting there, cleansers still out as he shuts the door. “Is there really lipstick on me?” He asks, turning his head so you could see all angles of his face. “Oh, right there. How did I not notice that?” You get up with a makeup wipe, swiping it gently against the mark until is goes away.

It was only until you moved away that you noticed how close you were, and that he notice something missing. “You wiped off your lipstick already?”

“I told you I was swatching. I took photos.” ‘And I could see the way you looked at me.’ You thought. “I’d like to post them, but you’re an idol and all, so…”

“A shame, really. Do you wanna eat? Jiung got some takeout, and I don’t wanna take off your hard work for a little while.”

“Sure, but don’t expect me to take you seriously while you’re all glammed up.”

“You did this to me!”

“We are not having this conversation again.”

his first love, where he can’t imagine being with anybody else but you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Jongseob’s met a lot of pretty girls. As an idol, it’s only natural he has to work with them, be in the same premise as them. Yet he can never see anything more to them because they aren’t like you.

Your snarky replies, your teasing, your genuine questions and need for reassurance, your automatic response to rely on him, contact him whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed. Maybe it was because he’s spent so much time with you that he built this connection, but he learned that no one else could replicate this feeling he was so comfortable with.

This feeling that he only felt with you.

His members teased him mercilessly, especially on your first day on the job. You were assigned to him and specifically him (according to a colleague, he requested you), and every time anyone of his fellow group saw you working so close with him, they’d start laughing.

Jiung and Intak would take Jongseob’s phone from him if they were to ever find him on call with you. Keeho would give him those looks whenever he saw him smiling at his screen, and on his screen was you. Theo and Soul… they left him alone for the most part. They’d say hello and you guys would chat, but of course, Theo with his natural older brother energy, would occasionally tease him about it, usually through complaints.

“Jongseob, can you stop talking to your girlfriend and go to sleep? We have practice tomorrow.”

“Geez, you wanted her to swatch on you, didn’t you?”

“Watch where you’re going with that! I know you’re practically in love with her, but you should still pay attention to your surroundings!”

Soul simply encouraged the idea of you two together.

“She really likes you, I can tell.”

“Will you be out of the dorm more often when you two start dating?”

“You got her a ring? When is the wedding?”

And all Jongseob really wanted was to figure out if you really did like him or not. Because he felt like he could never experience such euphoria with anyone other than you.

He was only 18, why did he seem so sure about this? His mind was certainly older.

The door to the studio opens, and you enter, dropping your school bag onto the floor and looking absolutely spent.

“Are you okay?” He asks as you walk over, head in his chest. “Not even a hello?” You joke, looking up at him. “Tired. Long day. School’s a real pain in the ass when you have things to do outside of it. You’re lucky you’re busy enough that you don’t have to go.”

“Sometimes I wish I could. I’d enroll at your school and take all the classes with you so I’m not alone. Speaking of school, what happened to those girls who chased you?”

“Oh, them?” You laugh. “We’re cool now. One of them apologized to me. The rest followed. It took one longer than the rest to muster up the courage. They thought I hated them which is why they couldn’t talk about it in the first place, which is understandable.”

“Did you forgive them?”

“Not right away. I accepted their apology, but I’ll talk to tomorrow. It’s a little bit scary leaving work in fear of being chased and they kinda ignited that in me. I could never hate them, though. Maybe that’s a lie, but I guess when I thought I hated them, I was just afraid.”

“You’re so insightful it’s honestly attractive.” You look at him, amused. “Are you flirting with me, Jongseob?”

“Oh, I’m just being honest.”

“Sure. Your birthday just passed and your ego is suddenly through the roof.”

“Well, I am Kim Jongseob, so maybe my ego should’ve been through the roof a while ago.”

“Now you’re just sounding arrogant.”

“I’m just better.” You roll your eyes, looking at the computer in the corner of the room on the counter. “Can I change the music?” You ask, watching him walk over and open the right tab for you. You change the keyboard language to English, searching up a name so fast he doesn’t comprehend that the music already started. You walk away as he stays and reads the name off the screen.

Clementine – grentperez

He looks at you, who happened to already be waiting for him in the center of the room. He walks over, spinning you around and catching you, visibly surprised when the singing begins. “It’s in English?”

“Mhm.”

“Can you understand it?”

“A little bit. Otherwise, I like how it sounds. Can you understand it?”

“I’ve been getting better… at least I try to. It sounds good.”

“I should send you more of his works. I think you’d like those too.” You feel his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you close enough into a hug. “Is this okay?” He feels you nod against his chest, your arms wrapping up and around his neck as the two of you simply sway to the music that filled the room.

To be in Jongseob’s arms, your best friend’s arms, like this was something you didn’t know you wanted to experience for as long as you could. This felt intimate, feeling closer with him like this more than any other hug you’ve shared.

You two probably looked like idiots to anyone that would walk in, but it was just the two of you, and all you could think about was how comfortable it was in each other’s arms.

There’s a spark. A spark that turns into a growing flame when your eyes meet. A flame that you wanted to keep ablaze but was on the edge of extinguishing. “You… you look really pretty.” He suddenly stutters, the flame growing a little bit more. “Thank you.”

“I really want to kiss you. Really, really bad.”

His abruptness catches you off guard, and it’s almost funny how the song began to near its climax.

“I’m sorry, was that too forward? Forget I said–“

“No one’s stopping you.”

It’s so cliche how the song reached its peak when his lips are on yours. You both were young, yet your minds were older. To kiss someone at such a moment for the first time in your life only made you fall in love with him even more, and really, you never thought you’d experience it so soon. With an idol, no less.

“Kim Jongseob!”

The sound of his name makes both of you pull away and look at the door, Intak, Jiung, and Theo standing there like they’ve seen a ghost. “What the hell are you doing?!” Intak exclaims, probably more aggressive than he meant to.

You both stand there, dumbfounded, and it wasn’t until you were back in your head that you both decide to separate from each other instantly. They looked angry. They probably didn’t feel that way, but in the moment, you felt humiliated. One second later, your face is hidden in his chest again, feeling his other hand on your back.

“I’m sorry.” You mutter against him, his hand patting your back reassuringly. “No, there’s nothing for you to be sorry about.”

“Don’t you feel the slightest bit embarrassed? Your friends just walked in on us kissing.”

“Oh, I do, absolutely. They’ll never let me hear the end of it.” You look up at him, and he’s smiling. “Then why don’t you seem that way?”

“Because I was kissing you.” Your heart beats faster than it ever has before when you’re with him. “You’re the only girl they’d want to see me kiss in the first place. Lucky for you, you’re the only girl I’ll ever wanna kiss in my whole life.”

“Since when did you get so romantic?”

“Since the day I met you in this very studio.”

Your worries suddenly melt away at his words, further assured he feels the same way you do.

“I really don’t mean to interrupt this very sentimental moment, but we have practice, so can you guys hurry it up a little bit?” Intak speaks up, appearing behind Jongseob out of nowhere. You pull away, going to get your things in the corner of the room, realizing he was following you. “You’re not gonna stay?” He asks, holding onto your hand.

“I have schoolwork to do, ‘Seob. And I need to talk to my coworkers at my part-time.” He pouts. “I know there’s so much more we need to talk about, but I’m eating into your practice time right now. I’ll call you, okay? We see each other tomorrow. Promise.” You squeeze his hand, feeling his other hand on top of yours.

“I thought you already quit that job.”

“They’re still my friends. I check in with them from time to time.” He sighs. “Goodnight, Y/N.” He kisses your forehead before letting you go.

Once you’re out of sight of the doorway, you can’t help but giggle and jump around out of pure excitement. You catch sight of Keeho and Soul in the hallway, greeting them briefly. “What’s got you so excited?” Keeho asks.

“He kissed me.” You watch his expression change to match yours, jumping around with you in the middle of the hallway. “No way! Are you serious?”

“The rest of them walked in on us…”

“I’ve literally been waiting for months for him to make a move and the one time I decide to leave later– ugh, I’m so happy for both of you!”

“And then he…” You point to your forehead. “He…” Keeho puckers his lips while you nod, the both of you proceeding to squeal almost too loud in the hallway. “Girl, please, you two are literally so freaking cute, you need to tell me more!”

“I really need to leave, I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay, we’ll see you tomorrow!”

You’re on your way to the convenience store, relieved to see both Mun-Hee and Shin-Il behind the counter, both of them equally shocked to see you there. “Y/N! I thought you were working.” Shin-Il says.

“I need to tell you guys something. Can I still come back here?”

“No. But you used to work here, so whatever.” An indirect invitation to come behind the counter given by Mun-Hee. “Judging from the look on your face, you either made progress with Jongseob or made out with Jongseob.” She adds.

“I kissed him, thank you very much.”

“Oh, shit.” She curses. “And he did it first?” You nod. “Damn, girl! He’s really down bad for you!”

“Is he your boyfriend now? He should be.” Shin-Il asks. “We didn’t have time to talk about it… he’s in a dance practice right now and I promised I’d call him.”

“Honey, no. This is the kind of thing you talk about in person. If he’s really dedicated and really loves you, he’d tell you. But with the amount of times you’ve breached health protocols with something to say about him, I think he really does love you in that way. But still, call him later. You promised.”

“You give all this advice as if you’ve ever been in an actual relationship.” Shin-Il jokes, resulting in a death glare from the most helpful former coworker in the moment. “Listen to her, not me.”

“Obviously.”

The welcoming bell chimes as someone enters, coming to the counter as quick as they came in. Mun-Hee looks in awe at the person as he stops at the counter, face lighting up. “We still on for tonight?” He hands her two 5000 won bills.

“Mhm.” She says in the most obvious lovesick tone, sliding the man’s items back towards him as she gives him his change. “I’ll see you later, Mun.”

You hold back a laugh at the nickname, glancing between her and the man as he leaves the store.“Who even is that guy?”

“They’ve been hooking up but then they actually started liking each other for more than the sex. Total K-drama material.”

“She did not need to know that!”

“If she can tell us about her love life, I can tell her about yours.”

“This is something entirely different! And what about you? Does she know that your little girlfriend calls you Shinnie now?”

You can’t hold back your laughter. “Pfft– Shinnie!? You guys are so corny!”

“Don’t you call your boyfriend ‘Seob’?” Shin-Il retorts. “Okay, but that’s just his name shortened. At least she didn’t add or double anything to it.” Mun-Hee reasons, receiving an eye roll from her coworker.

“I can’t believe we’re all in relationships now.” She adds. “I can’t believe you’re in a relationship! You’re so grouchy all the time, it’s hard to believe anyone would love that. You too, Y/N! You’re only 18 and you already kissed someone.”

“You still haven’t kissed anyone at your old age?!” You exclaim.

Mun-Hee sighs. “Can you tell it’s been rough without you here?”

“Definitely.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“So does my dad approve?”

You ask as Jongseob enters your bedroom, shutting the door gently before sitting across from you on your bed. “Of course he approved, I’m Kim Jongseob.”

Your dad had to go on another trip, which was prolonged, right after his first one due to a promotion offer that was promised if he continued to work efficiently overseas for a little longer. He got the promotion. He didn’t come back until mid-2021, and you didn’t tell him about your little relationship until today.

“I bet he’s pissed at me. I swore I meant to tell him, I just forgot.”

“He isn’t. He’s just… very surprised.”

“Understandable. I may or may not have rambled to him about you.”

“Did you say anything embarrassing?”

“No.”

“Then what did you say?”

“He asked me what I loved about you. It’s a long list.”

“We have time.”

He chuckles. “Okay, well, I said I love that you’re such a hard worker, and how devoted you are to anything that you do, how you never settle for less. How there’s a sparkle in your eye only I’m able to see when you get excited. How beautiful you are when you’re at your happiest, when you’re doing something that brings you comfort. Should I keep going?”

You’re too flustered to answer his question. “What did he say?”

“‘When’s the wedding?’”

You hit him playfully, hiding your face in the side of his arm, embarrassed that your face was so warm from something so simple. “You really noticed all of those little things?”

“Of course I did, you’re my girlfriend.”

You wanted to kiss him so bad in that moment, being interrupted by your mom barging in the room. She simply stares at both of you. “You’re nearly 19, I expect you to know what we don’t wanna hear in this house.” She closes the door, Jongseob getting up to lock it this time.

“My mom’s gonna get so suspicious next time she tries to open the door.”

“Valid. But we know our boundaries, don’t we?”

You fulfill what you imagined in your head, kissing him briefly and pulling away when you feel his hand tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Wanna know something?” He mutters.

“What?”

“I don’t think I could ever love someone else the same way I love you.”

“Is that so?”

“Honey, I admire you. You’re amazing.”

“Speak for yourself, mister. So talented and famous for it. I think we’ve been keeping these words bottled up for years when we were just friends.”

“Mhm. There’s so much more I wanna say.”

“We have time.”

“It’ll take all week.”

“I have all the time in the world when I’m with you.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🐺: guys where is jongseob

🐶: is he not at y/n’s house??

🐺: we have a shoot tomorrow why is he at y/n’s house

🐿️: the shoot is next week are u dumb

🐺: damn bro mb

☀️: they’re gonna get married someday i just know it

🍟: he wanted her ring size (о´∀`о)

🐺: why is he there anyway??

☀️: he went to meet her dad

🐿️: OKAY JONGSEOB I SEE U MEETING THE FAMILY

🐯: are you guys talking bad about me

🐶: nah we’re just thinking about what kind of ring ur gonna get her

🐯: im still 18 calm down 💀 y/n’s dad said the same thing

☀️: even mr. l/n agrees

🍟: how is y/n?

🐯: she’s good, i actually might stay over tonight

🐺: WHAT

🐶: on a weekday is crazy

☀️: why arent u coming home?

🐯: she fell asleep on me i dont wanna wake her up

🐿️: do you have clothes?

🐯: 👍

🐶: bro is prepared he predicted this

🍟: say hi to her for me!!!!

🐯: alr goodnight guys im lowkey tired

🐺: jongseob sleeping early? thats new

🐯: i hope you have nightmares

and if you’re fadin’, then honey i’ll be fadin’ too. darling, i don’t even know who i am without you. 🎧

[ughthatimagineblog]

yawn and reach

this was such a fun request it literally occupied my brain for the last 72 hours. tytyty anon!!!! summary: 'video game joel in jackson would be so awkward w reader. imagine they go see a movie for the first time in years and he does that thing w reader where he itches his nose to smoothly put it over reader’s shoulder' - requested by anon rating: 18+ warnings: lightly implied smut but no real smut at the end, cursing, age difference (reader is about 30-32 and joel is 54-56), tried to be as neutral as possible but i did write this with a feminine reader in mind. word count: 6.07k

Being in Jackson meant having clean water, a warm bed, guaranteed food, but best of all; electricity. The dam in town, monitored and worke on by the gracious townsfolk who took you in, keeps the water your bathe in warm and lights on all around the city at night. You’d forgotten the luxury of seeing so much in the dark.

Having been a young age when the outbreak began, the memories of what life before infected were blurred. Muddy water. Clear only in brief moments of light, smells, feelings and fleeting just as fast. Your mother, who also survived- or rather helped you survive- helped fill in the gaps on occasion and you were grateful for the life you clung to, even if it meant wandering in the dark for months at a time, unsure of where your next meal would come from. From youth to now, you and your mom watched out for each other. Now, you were part of a community that would take care of both of you. You both return the favor.

Being in a QZ meant enforced curfews and the military breathing down your back. Not allowed out, barely anyone allowed in. Escaping was easy enough. Surviving your way all the way to Jackson was not. Now, you and your mother roam freely at night and almost any other time if you aren’t on patrol. Music from bars pour out into the string lit streets. During the day, children play and learn. Hundreds of people found refuge here, and you now joined their numbers. You’d even met a few people you’ve become close enough with to say you’re friends.

Sometimes you get put on patrol with Dina, Jesse or Ellie, and while they’re both several years your junior, they entertain you, they respect your authority, and they also remind you of being that age, so you don’t mind. You spend some free time at the bar or help out in some of the kitchens from time to time and have grown close with a few others, all in varying ages. Joel, who you met through Ellie, being one of them.

Joel. Always brief with his words. Always to the point. Ellie would complain about him on patrol from time to time, but she would balance it out with credit to the man in the same breath.

“He’s always trying so hard. I just don’t know how to make it work now…” She trailed off on a ride home from the nearby abandoned town. It was your last stop and it was beginning to get dark. You’d given her a small nod of understanding in response. She huffed out a sigh. “I know he cares and stuff, but sometimes I need my space. I mean-” She paused to look at you, reasoning with her own conflictions. “I just would like one night out of the house. Or the garage, I guess. He’s done a lot for me… and I want him to know that I see that.”

You thought for a moment. “Maybe spend some intentional time with him. That way, when you want that night away, it will be earned and he won’t put so much pressure on it.” You suggested. She made a face off indecision but nodded anyway. “I think you’re right.” Was all she’d said on the matter the rest of the ride back.

Secretly, you admired the man. He was maybe ten years older, but you got along like you’d known each other for ages. You liked the energy the kids like Ellie brought to your days, but if they were your spark, Joel was your peace. You didn’t feel pressured to have to entertain, or keep him on the right path, or make sure he was being observant. Joel was a seasoned veteran when it came to survival and you felt an ease with him you couldn’t with anyone else. Because no one else could protect you like Joel could. No one other than the mother who helped a child survive the outbreak. And even that was highly lucky.

You were put on patrol just twice with Joel. Both times were eventful in wildly different ways. The first was in a positive way, you both found a new stash of medical supplies- an urgent care facility that’d gone unnoticed due to the decay of the lettering outside of the building signaling any kind of benefit to looting. Half of it was also caved in so you and Joel both worked to sort through the rubble that’d gone ignored for so many years. You’d both decided to check it out on a whim, and were very grateful you did.

The second time went a little differently. It was summer and the sun was beating down on the both of you like you’d never experienced before. Dehydrated and exhausted, Joel suggested stopping by the creek bed where you were to cool off in the water. Not a moment after relief began to set in, you were caught off guard when a small group of infected decided to jump both of you. In the calamity of racing back to your things, you’d slipped on a rock and fell so hard on your head you got a concussion. It rendered you unconscious and the only reason you were still breathing the next day is because of Joel.

You remembered the cold feeling of air rushing over your head wound, blood slowing, but still pouring out. Eyesight fading in and out, and when it was in, it was blurry. Unclear images of Joel fighting off the infected while keeping your body strictly behind him flash in and out of your memory. He’d patched up your head as best as possible and hoisted you onto his horse with him, tying your horse’s reins to his saddle horn to ride with the both of you back to safety.

He’d been muttering to himself the whole ride, all the way until you were passed off to the medical staff. Very faint sounds, from what you could remember, but you also knew to attribute that to the concussion. It was a fade out from being handed off, to waking up being carried further from Joel, the last image being of him staring after you as he grew smaller and smaller.

From that day forward, you two have been close. I guess saving someone’s life really does bring two people together. Your mother was fond of him as well. And not just because he saved your life- although you did figure that played a large part- but because of his manners, his honor. She’d mentioned how polite he was to you one day and, it wasn’t that you hadn’t noticed, but you hadn’t seen how deliberate it was. Holding doors open for you, fully listening when you spoke, considering your likes and dislikes. If he was behaving this way specifically for you, you couldn’t tell, but you did take note. 

When you’d complimented him on such things, he- in his own Joel way- laughed in your face. Really, it was more of a scoff, but nonetheless it was just as dismissive. “‘M not polite, darlin’, I just treat people how I wanna be treated.” He answered plainly, but there was a hint of knowing in his eyes.

You began to keep an eye on these things he does that he brushes off and you found that, while yes, he does open doors for others and he is an excellent listener, he doesn’t listen to anyone else the way he listens to you. Undivided attention. When you speak, you’re all he sees. He’s holding onto every word of yours like if he doesn’t he’ll fall down. Even when you’re talking about nothing. When he holds doors for others, he looks relaxed and at ease, but guarded. With you, his shoulders soften and he’s often watching your every move as you walk by. He’s more awkward with you. Part of it is his own ambiguity in navigating getting close with others, but part of it is something else, and to assume it’s you would be highly narcissistic. Or so you tell yourself. 

Meanwhile, Joel can barely contain himself. His time in Jackson had been peaceful, and had allowed him to grow comfortable. With Ellie safe and enjoying life, he’d forgotten what it meant to have room to care about anyone else. She’d been his priority for so long. Now that he met you… Just thinking about you made his stomach turn with butterflies. He felt juvenile.

It took him a week to discover your existence. Three months to patrol with you for the first time, and another three for the second time. Every patrol in between was filled with thoughts of you. Hope that you’d be paired with him again. After the second time with you, he was enamored. Your intelligence captivated him. You’d researched so much. Both about this new life and the life before the infected. You had stories on stories to tell of you and your mom, some of which were his favorite to hear. Joel knew better to pry whenever you’d get to a particularly hard memory in your stories. He’d often ask a question about a different part to get your mind off of whatever had you troubled, and even though you knew what he was doing every time, you let him. It was nice. Sweet. Two words most would not use to describe Joel. You would. And you’d said so.

That almost knocked Joel on his feet. When you told him you thought he was polite, and sweet. It made his heart nearly leap out of his chest. Feeling slightly guilty for laughing in pure shock at a fairly innocent compliment-turned-question, he’d given a finite and brief answer. You hadn’t complimented him since. Worried about rejection, you’d avoided doing so.

Finding himself thinking about why you hadn’t done so tipped Joel off to his growing, deeper, feelings for you. It bothered him, and under any other circumstance- anyone else- he wouldn’t care. Wouldn’t have crossed his mind. Much like many other interactions with others in the town. They weren’t on his mind like you were. But he also worried he was too old for you. He thought about what you’d think of Ellie who was essentially his own kid. His past was a heavy burden to carry, as well. He’d killed so many, watched so many die, and the thoughts of those deaths weighed on him heavily. 

The last thing he wanted was for you to shoulder any of it. Joel knew that the first time he saw you laugh. He wouldn’t do a thing to compromise your happiness if he could help it.

Weeks later, you both were busy on your respective duties that would be ending sooner rather than later. It was the first Friday of the month, and the first Friday meant movie night. The electricity in Jackson was powerful and a few months prior, Dina and Jesse returned with a projector, VHS tape player and some VHS copies of several different movies. The town would not stop talking about it for a month afterwards. Aside from new medicine, food or healthy helping hands, this was the best news they’d received all year.

Movie nights became a regular, monthly tradition. Those not on shifts for the night would gather and watch different movies. There would be a vote beforehand on what would be played and the announcement would go out a week in advance so people could plan to be there. If you couldn’t make it due to a shift, you were sure to be scheduled in time to make it the next month and so on. It was a huge morale boost for everyone. Dina and Jesse have not stopped bragging about it being their find because of it.

Hanging up your apron, you made your way to the washrooms where you cleaned up after working every shift here. Your neighbor, a girl of similar age who got put on the same duty as you today, met you by the sink. “Are you coming tonight?” They inquired. You smiled and nodded. “Movie day. Never missing that.” You assured, scrubbing the smell of garlic off your fingers. No amount of soap would be enough.

“I bet Joel will be happy to hear that.” They wiggled your eyebrows at you. You rolled your eyes. “I’m sure he will. He’s my friend.” You assured. “Uh-huh.” They responded in an unconvincing tone. “Hey, all I know is, he’s bringing Ellie, but we all know where she wants to be. Maybe you can get some one-on-one time with him?” They suggested. You paused at this before reaching for one of the towels to dry your now-clean hands.

It was a good point. You recalled your conversation with Ellie from a few days prior. How she really was looking for an excuse to be out of Joel’s earshot for one night. You weighed your options. It wasn’t like you to blatantly ask someone to hang out, especially not Joel, and especially not under the current circumstances. It also wasn’t likely to get him to let Ellie go anywhere he wasn’t familiar. Maybe you could get Joel away from Ellie?

It was clear you liked Joel. You loved him, really. It was quite easy once you got to know him. If you asked him to see the movie with you, and you specifically, you weren’t sure how he’d react. You were confident he’d say yes, but to what degree?

Realizing you were overthinking something that was probably just all in your head anyways, you snapped back to reality to find your neighbor staring at your zoned-out expression, smirking. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” They asked, mouth agape in joyful surprise. You felt heat in your face and quickly dismissed them, pushing past the doorway.

“I’m thinking about going to see the movie later and nothing else!” You shouted over your shoulder, leaving your colleague and emerging to the main cafeteria. Turning on your heel, you were about to reach for your keys and bag that had been strewn on one of the tables when your face instantly collided with leather.

Stumbling back, and almost on your ass, you began to curse, “What the fu-” You began to say, but the feeling of two strong arms steadying you and the familiar face in front of you cut all sound in your throat short. Joel stood before you, the smell of pine filling your nose as he stood there looking as patient and understanding as ever in light of your fumble. “Didn’t mean to startle you.” He sheepishly apologized as you quickly regained your bearings. His accent was deep, thick. It made your heart flutter. The adrenaline of being caught off guard had not yet worn off. “No, oh my gosh,” You breathily laughed out. “You’re fine. I was just about to leave is all.” You smiled up at him, brushing some hair that had fallen into your eyes out of your face.

“Going to the movie tonight, I hear?” He asked, eyes darting to the hallway you just came from. If your neighbor was still here, they did not make it apparent. You silently thanked whatever was out there that they left. You didn’t need them making fun of your attraction to him to his face but behind your back. Your eyes darted from Joel nervously, remembering the conversation between your neighbor. Surely if they noticed your attraction, he would too.

“Uh, yeah, weirdly enough, I was on my way to you with a similar question, but you’re back from patrol early.” You grabbed your things off the table you went for earlier and turned back to see Joel’s look of amusement and curiosity. His eyebrows raised, a slight smirk on his lips that silently mouthed ‘Oh?’. Those lips. You forced yourself to look at his forehead.

Your heart was beating in your chest so hard you worried he could hear it in the pause. “Would you like to go with me?” You blurted out. It felt silly coming out. Like you were in high school, asking someone to the prom. But under different context. A non-romantic context. Because that’s what Joel would want, right? He doesn’t have the time or energy to deal with some romantic drama, you reasoned.

Joel’s face became unreadable. His mouth slightly opened as if he were going to say something, but closed again as he decided on something else. “Together?” He clarified. You ignored the way your heart sank. “If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I have some wine at my place, I thought maybe we could have a glass before we go. But if you have other plans…”

“I don’t.”

His response was quick. Joel saw the way your face fell at his initial response, and he quickly realized why. You thought he was uninterested in going with you personally. Something that couldn’t be further from the truth. Joel wanted nothing more than to go with you. Jesus, he had the opportunity to take a girl on a movie date. He couldn’t remember the last time that happened. 20 Years was probably something like it. More.

His reaction was purely shock. Not distaste. He was shocked you wanted to go together. That you wanted to go with him. Be seen in association with him on purpose and not in a group setting. It was more intimate than he’d been with anyone recently. 

“I’d love to go with you.” He clarified, realizing he’d only been staring at you since his response to having other plans. “Ellie can have the house to herself for a bit.” You reasoned with a smile meant to hide your giddy emotions and while Joel gave a short reaction at the idea of his kid-now adult- being home alone, he let it go just as easily, too distracted with thoughts of his movie date with you.

Deciding both of you needed a shower before the movie, you split up and went to your respective houses to shower and get ready. It was merely an hour and a half before the knock came at your door.

Swinging it open to reveal Joel, groomed and standing off to the side of your doorway. In one of his hands was a bouquet. Your eyes shot open and you pretended not to notice he got groomed and brought flowers to go somewhere with you. “Where did you find these?” You excitedly reached through the doorway to take them from him, immediately pressing your nose to the petals. It was a well done bouquet of wildflowers. You’d seen them growing several times on some of the patrol routes and found them beautiful everytime. Joel just happened to notice.

“I pulled a few strings.” He laughed, watching your face as you examined them carefully. He could stare at you for hours. You didn’t have to know the exact townsperson Joel bribed to get him those flowers ASAP and you certainly didn’t have to know the extra rations it took for him to keep quiet about it. Joel making an emergency request for flowers? Unheard of. And it will stay that way too.

“I don’t know what to say.” You said, breathless from inhaling the scents in front of you. “Maybe a ‘Thank you’, ‘Please come in’, ‘I have wine’.” Joel teased. You rolled your eyes and cleared the path for him to enter.

He was quick to follow you to your kitchen where you grabbed two glasses and filled them just under halfway. You both silently toast to each other and take a sip. The wine is sweet, but has a slightly bitter taste that lingers. And then, there was that silence. It slipped over both of you like a comforting fog. Both of you comforted each other just by being near one another. You were in sync in these moments and it felt like having a dance partner. Someone to anticipate your moves and flow with them. Being around Joel was as easy as breathing. He didn’t complicate things. In the silence his eyes were like weights on you and with every sip of your wine you felt his gaze follow your lips.

“Why did you ask me to come with you?” Joel asked, cutting through your beloved easy silence like an arrow slicing the air. You froze, not quite sure yourself. That wasn’t true, though. You were sure why you wanted him to come, but terrified of what that would mean. You scrambled for any other logical reason. A favor for Ellie? Personal interest?

“And it’s not to get me away from Ellie for a little while. She knows how to do that on her own…” He commented and you felt the heaviness at the end of his sentence. Crap. He knew you. That wasn’t his point right now. “You can bullshit everyone else, but not me, darlin’.” His southern drawl was accentuated in that nickname and it was enough to cover the nervousness in his voice. The nickname that flooded your mind constantly. The nickname that made you melt.

Finding any alternative to telling Joel your true feelings, you lied. “I didn’t want to be alone. Going alone to the movies alone is kinda lame anyways and my mom wasn’t feeling up to it.”

Joel made an ‘ah’ expression and looked away in thought. He wasn’t buying it, but it was something you clearly didn’t want to be addressed, so he dropped it for you. That doesn’t mean the real reason wasn’t swimming around his mind. Occasionally, he saw the way you looked at him. He knew you respected him and thought fondly of him. Just how fondly, he was unsure. While he hoped there was more, he couldn’t help but worry what you’d think of him. What you’d think of what he’d done to get there. What he’d done, he thought, in a way, to get to you.

“We’d better get going soon if we want to make it across town in time for it to start.” Joel commented with a clearing of his throat, taking a final swig of the wine, now long gone in both your glasses. Nodding, you quickly finished your glass and rushed to put the flowers in a spot you wouldn't forget about, meeting Joel by the door when you were done. 

Twisting the key in the lock of your front door, you went to step down but felt a hand gently touch your back. Turning to Joel you saw his arm stretched out, but bent slightly. You looked at him in confusion.

“Oh c’mon…” He said, gesturing to his arm. “You know what to do.” He urged. Your blank expression answered his assumption with a resounding negative. Feeling a little ridiculous, not because of your confusion but because his own effort in sending signals were going unnoticed. He came up to you, grabbed your hand and looped it through his already-positioned arm. You smiled and said “Oh!” out loud, finally realizing what he’d been trying to do.

“Well aren’t you a gentleman.” You commented as you walked arm in arm to the gathering area the town held movie nights at, trying to ignore the way you were touching him. It wasn’t like you hadn’t before, but you’d repressed the way it made you feel before. It was beginning to be hard to hide it. Joel smiled slightly and shook his head. “Im telling you, I-”

“I know, I know, you just treat people how they want to be treated.” You finished for him. He stopped mid sentence and laughed to himself. “So you do listen.” His voice was gravelly but soft. Music to your ears. “Only when it’s you talking.”

Your response came out flirtier than you intended, the feeling overcoming both of you instantly. Despite ducking your head, avoiding his gaze, Joel felt his heart soar. “I’m a lucky man then.” It was your heart’s turn to flutter. Joel, once again plans to save the moment of being inquired upon further, noting your embarrassment. “How’s that?” You reply, desperate for every word. “I was able to get the most stubborn and independent person to actually listen. I don’t think any man has done so in history before.” Joel joked, a dramatic air to his tone, soaking every word.

You laughed at his jab and shoved his arm in response. “Yeah if you’re lucky for anything it’s because I tolerate your ass giving me a hard time.” He chuckled in response. “Now that is true.” His voice got quiet as you both approached the viewing area together. Finding a small section of grass that wasn't occupied, you and Joel grabbed one of the many chairs set out for people to use and you both sat together.

They were playing Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. A classic. Made before even Joel was born, but highly enjoyed in his childhood. He was looking forward to this movie when he heard it was the choice for the month. He was more excited about watching it with you, now. Your eyes fixated on the screen and as the movie began, everyone’s hushed voices and children's laughter all simmered to a pure silent crowd.

The movie played on like normal, maybe a glitch in the picture here and there but nothing too bad to break the feeling that comes with watching a movie. The ‘illusion’, some people call it. You’re laughing at a quip from Han to Leia when Joel subtly looks over to you. You’re too busy watching the movie to notice, but he can’t help but stare. Your eyes as they take in every moment possible, not wanting to miss out on a minute. Your lips are curved into a smile as you watch and Joel allows himself to wonder how they’d feel on him.

He notices a piece of your hair has fallen into your face and just before the thought of moving it converts to an action, you move to look up at him. Feeling panicked, he moves to scratch his nose and yawn. He stretches slowly and you look forward once more, unalarmed at first of his fidgeting. He was an older man after all. He was probably already getting stiff sitting still.

Joel’s stretch turns into an awkward hand on the back of your chair. This gets your attention. You can see his knuckles peeking over your shoulder and you wonder if the proximity was intentional. Inside, Joel is burning and tense. How could he be so stupid? The yawn and reach? Really? Did someone give him an ‘Oldest Tricks in the Book’ book?

Through his peripheral vision, he looks down to you, searching for any reason to give you any wanted space. He finds none. You’re content and still watching the movie. For the most part. In reality, your mind is reeling just as much as his.

Deciding to be a little more brave, Joel goes to rest his hand against your shoulder. Touching. He was touching you in a comforting way. Between this and walking arm in arm, just the slight contact makes him light headed. It’s been so long since he’s ‘made moves’ on anyone. He’s wracked with nerves and mostly stressed he’s lost his touch. That to you, he’s some cringe-y, single dad.

You feel his thumb starts to move against your shoulder in soft, slow, circles. Despite the motion’s intention to relax, you notice how tense he is. Looking down, his other hand is a fist, fidgeting with the hem of his flannel and you can see he’s watching the movie but every so often his eyes are darting around and down to you. It dawns on you just then that he is trying to make a move.

A mischievous smile spreads on your lips. If Joel was going to be subtle and innocent about his advancements towards you, you were ready to make this as easy on him as possible. After all, the man has been through hell and does deserve a win. Your mind ran a million miles an hour just picturing what might come next. Your attraction to him was at least somewhat reciprocated. It made thinking straight hard, but you knew you had to find some way to show him that he is more than welcome to be more comfortable with you.

You grin to yourself, knowing your plan is in place and you’re too excited to think of previous insecurities of his attraction to you. His sweaty palms and arm on your shoulder proved enough. Sighing lightly, you also feign fatigue, and carefully rest your head on Joel's shoulder.

You feel his upper torso tense and then relax as he processes what you’ve done. Feeling yourself move a bit to get more comfortable, he takes the opportunity to relax his own muscles, recognizing just how stiff they were beginning to get, and he moves his arm to fully drape over you and pull you in. His muscles loosening underneath you is your sign to move an arm over to rest on his leg.

His muscles were taught underneath his jeans. You felt the sweat on his palms, but it didn’t bother you. It actually made you smile. Joel Miller. A tough Texan who rarely let others in was a nervous wreck trying to get close to you. You stifled a giggle and adjusted yourself to be slightly more pressed into his body, almost crossing your leg with his.

Joel could hardly breathe. You were playing into it. It crossed his mind that maybe you’re being nice and don’t want to reject him. But he also noticed your hand on his thigh and how you sometimes would trace shapes or squeeze it lovingly there. It made him feel like a teenager, and he was basking in every second he got to feel his hand on your waist.

The only reason you both noticed the movie ended was when others began to stand up, grab their seats and the floodlights that lit the area came on. It made both of you jump a bit but no one rushed to untangle themselves from the other. He looked over to you, who began to slowly get up from where you were, cool air running over what had once been covered in warmth on his side. He tried to ignore the emptiness he felt without you being next to him so close, having grown accustomed to it for a couple hours.

“So…” You trailed off, not really sure what to say. Your anxiety was through the roof. Both of you weren’t sure if you should address what just happened, or go back to business as usual. Joel spoke before you could. “Let me walk you home.” He quickly insisted, standing and holding a hand to you. You smiled and took it, feeling a bit nervous. You knew if you didn’t address it immediately, it would definitely happen later. You hoped when he got to your door.

The walk home was quiet for the most part. A few comments on the movie, Joel told you a part he’s loved since he was young. You noted how nice it is to be able to do this despite the world’s circumstances. He agreed.

You’d just turned onto your street when Joel spoke again. “Can we talk?” He stopped mid step. It was a rare moment of bravery from him you wrote off as uncharacteristic. Startled by the abruptness, you stopped as well, disconnecting from his hand but not wanting to.

He watched as your arm fell back to your side. With a strong huff of air, he covered his mouth in stress. “I don’t know how to say this.” He said, honestly. You dreaded the worst. He’s going to tell you he doesn’t want this- or anything more. This wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t going to go home with you.

“Start with the first word.” You suggested, hoping you’d spark anything to get him to spit out what he was trying to say faster. Like a bandaid, you wanted the end of this to be quick and easy.

“You.” Joel said, clearly having more but working through how to put it. You gave him pause to gather his thoughts. “Y’know, you’re always on my mind but we don’t talk and then today you ask me to see the movies, but it’s just because you don’t want to go alone…” He begins to ramble. “Which I know is bullshit because you don’t mind going places by yourself.” Your breath hitches in your throat. He’s seen you this whole time. Why has he not said anything? Done anything?

“And then you spend half the damn movie basically in my lap and darlin’”- That nickname. “I am trying to be as respectful as possible but you just look so beautiful all the damn time and after tonight I don’t know if you feel the same, but I-I need to know. So I know what I can and can’t say to you. Say the word and I promise I’ll never touch you in that way.”

Dumbfounded, you just looked at him, mouth slightly open. It was the most Joel had ever said at one time to you, ever. He never vented. He spoke but in small bits and it was straightforward. He knew what to say. He always knew what to say. But around you he didn’t.

That one small fact had you lightheaded. And then his words dawned on you. Say the word and I promise I’ll never touch you in that way.

“No!” You blurted out. “I mean, I want you to touch me.” You cringed at how awkward it came out. “I mean…” A laugh from yourself blurted out at how hard this really was to put into words. “What do you want to say to me?” Settling on that, you looked into his eyes and found them pouring into yours. He’d smiled and chuckled in relief at your nervousness, giving him enough of an answer. Stepping forward, he traced the side of your face with a calloused finger, stopping after moving hair behind your ear. It gave you chills.

“I want to say,” He paused, looping a hand around your waist. “That I’ve been waiting to get you in my arms since we first met.” His words were enough to make the coldest person alive melt. “And you’re the only one who has got me wrapped around their finger like you.” His low voice rumbled in your chest as he closed some of the distance between you. He paused. Searching your eyes for any kind of resistance, hesitation… regret. He found none.

“I was going to say the same thing.” You grinned, closing any space between the both of you. His lips were rough on yours, his beard prickling the edges of your cheeks. Your fingers found their way into his hair and you sank into his grasp.

Joel felt like this was who he was supposed to be kissing. Who’s skin he was meant to be touching. His heart was thundering in his chest. He’d been falling for you for so long, he forgot the possibility that you’d possibly feel the same and settled on the idea you were better off without him. He knew now, under your grip which was soft but commanding all at once, you were just as deep in pining after him in return.

In reality, you kissed like that under the low street lighting for three minutes. It felt like an hour. Pulling away felt like diving underwater, far away from oxygen. Barely a foot apart and yet it felt so far.

“Do you want to come inside when we get back?” You asked, breathless. He chuckled, lips curving into a smile to match your own. “I want nothing more, sweetheart.” Joel’s gravelly tone lulled. It was rich with care and lust. Damn that voice. The voice that would drift you to sleep that night, whispering sweet praises under sheets you’d only slept in alone prior. It felt nice to have his breath on your neck, his bare legs tangled with yours, his soft skin on yours until morning. Ellie got the privacy she needed, and Joel got the night he deserved.

You’d worry about what to tell your mother some other time.

thank you guys for reading! hope you enjoyed. this has been my first official fully finished fic since returning to tumblr! i appreciate everyone's support :))

[cameronspecial]

Thorn In My Side, Rose In My Hand (Part 6)

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings:  Under Age Drinking, Under Age Marijuana Use, Violence and Displays of Toxic Relationship Acts. If I missed one, please let me know.

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.1K

Summary: Rafe throws a party in an attempt to see Y/N. Y/N finds out a heart breaking truth. 

Masterlist

Rafe knows Y/N is ignoring him. No matter what he tries, she never so much as utters a word in his direction. So he is giving her some space. He could say that he isn’t throwing a party for the sole purpose of hopefully seeing Y/N for a split second if she chooses to come, but he’d be lying. Normally, he goes from room to room to check on people. Today, he is in the kitchen, guarding the stuff he bought specifically for Y/N in case she shows up. He sees someone reaching for the hard kombucha in the fridge, “Touch that can and I will throw you out of my house faster than you can say kombucha.” The person quickly closed the fridge and exited the kitchen. “You better not be opening that Oreo package,” he threatens to Mason, who Rafe knows has been eyeing the package. 

“Dude, come on. I told you that she isn’t coming. She went to something that Wilson is holding. It sounded fancy. So let me just have one, please,” Mason begs while he inches toward the package again.

“Still you never know. Maybe she’ll get bored and stop by?”

“I love you, dude. And I want to see you guys together, but I think it’s time to call it. I don’t want you to get your hopes up.” 

“I know my chances. I still have hope though. We are meant to be, I just know it.”

———

Y/N sits at the dinner table with all of Wilson’s friends. He is having a dinner soirée. Honestly, Y/N is bored out of her mind, but Wilson is her boyfriend and this is typically a girlfriend's duty. La Bleue Fleur is catering and the topic of conversation is that uninteresting Civil War documentary that Wilson made her watch.  Y/N is pushing around the leftover garnish on her plate as she is the first person to finish eating. “Y/N, what did you think of Timothy Satonis’ masterpiece?” Allen asks, looking toward the girl. She is caught off guard by the question because she has mostly been left out of the conversation. “Uhh, not gonna lie, I zoned out during the movie. Docs really aren’t my thing,” she replies to the group, which causes them to look at her with horror in their eyes. The group is awkwardly silent for a second before Wilson directs the conversation to something Y/N can be involved in, “Did you guys know Y/N is Cassie Y/L/N’s daughter?” 

This sparks a conversation between the dinner guests. “Have you met her?” Hailey questions excitedly. Wilson smiles with pride, “Yes, I have. We met when I took Y/N to Midsummer. Later on,  I gave her a manuscript of my book when I visited Y/N’s house the other day. Hopefully, she can pass it on to her publisher and it gets published.” Y/N finds it strange that Wilson would say it like he was the one to ask her to Midsummer when in reality she is the one to ask him out. “That is an amazing idea. Y/N, what is your favourite book of hers?” Josh inquiries. “Um, probably Murder in The Deep. The series is inspired by my love of murder mysteries and the main character, Arabella, is modelled after me. So it feels pretty personal and sentimental to me. She even mentions me in the dedication and named a murder victim after me.” “I see. Wilson did not tell us you were one of those types of readers,” Josh remarks with judgement in his tone. She turns towards Wilson to see if he will stand up for her. He doesn’t, so Y/N once again zones out as everyone else continues talking about her mom like she is not there. She feels a little uncomfortable, but she doesn’t say anything to avoid making anyone else feel the same way. 

After dinner and dessert are finished, the evening continues in the family room with a game of trivia. Y/N is usually good at trivia as she is on track to being valedictorian and she loves to know random, obscure facts. However, this game of trivia is all related to the same topics, which bore her to death. “If you’re a fan of Ella Fitzgerald, Benny Goodman, and Miles Davis, which museum in Kansas City will be music to your ears?” Allen reads from the card. Hailey rings her bell quickly, “Amerian Jazz Museum!” The group claps at her answer. Y/N didn’t even know there was a museum only for Jazz music, let alone that it was in Kansas City. Hailey takes the next card, “Bela Bartok and Romantic composer Franz Liszt are typically considered the greatest composers to emerge from what European nation?” Y/N wants to be included in the game, so she tries to take a guess at the answer and rings her bell, “Is it Germany?” Wilson shakes his head in disappointment and she can see the embarrassment in his eyes. “Of course, it is not Germany, Y/N. Everyone knows they are from Hungary. If you do not know the answer, then do not bother answering the question,” he chastises and Y/N feels as though she is a child. 

“Excuse me, I’m going to go to the bathroom,” Y/N excuses as she gets up to find the bathroom, hoping to escape the situation. Y/N knew she should stand up for herself, but she didn’t wanna make a scene because that would also be embarrassing. She is walking back to the family room when she hears her name being spoken. She stops just outside of the family room archway, hiding behind the wall. “I do not understand why you are dating her. She has no substance at all. She is vapid and I do not know how you can spend so much time with her,” she hears Hailey complain. This absolutely guts Y/N because this is another one of her insecurities. When compared to the intelligent life of the part, Elizabeth Huntington, she felt uninteresting with her more reserved personality. However, nothing prepares her for the feeling of what Wilson says next. “It is about looking at the advantages. Y/N may be vapid, but I got to meet Cassie and hopefully, I can be mentored by her. It is the only reason why I asked her out. I heard a rumour that the Y/L/N’s like to spend time on the beach where we met. I figured I was bound to meet one of them eventually.”

Y/N could continue to just stand there and be sorry for herself, but her blood is now boiling and she decides to stand up for herself, no matter how much she wants to cry right now. She steps out from behind the wall, “I may be vapid, but at least, I’m not a lonely boy, who is so obsessed with an author that I stalked her and her family. It is so sad that you used another human being just to get your boring ass manuscript read. My mom showed me the manuscript and we both agree that you sound like a giant stick in the mud even when you write. You don’t have to worry about putting up with me any longer because we are over!” This isn’t her finest moment, but she storms out in a hurry. She can only make it so far before she realizes that she could not walk home all the way. Her vision is blurry, meaning she could not see three feet in front of her. 

She decides it is safer to call someone to come pick her up. She takes out her phone and dials her brother’s number, “Dude, why are you calling? Are you a boomer? Anyways leave a message at the beep.” Voicemail. She calls her parents and gets voicemail again. Right, they are staying on the mainland for the night because her mom has a back-to-back book signing there. She goes to call Lacey, but notices she has a voicemail from her friend. “Y/NNNNN, I love youuuuu. Before you ask, I amz totes not drink. Drink. Drunk, lol. Okay, maybe I am. But, I wants you to know I loves you. Alsoooo, I total- total- totally made out with Derren. He is so h-” The voicemail cuts off before Lacey could finish her drunken rant. This causes Y/N to stop crying for a second and giggle at Lacey’s drunken antics. But the realization that she only has one other person to call whom she felt comfortable with makes her feel anxious because she is not even sure he is going to answer her call after the way she has been ignoring him. 

———

Rafe sits on his couch with Elizabeth on his lap and her tongue down his throat. He was able to convince her that saying Y/N’s name during Midsummer was a mistake, which leads to them having been making out for the last ten minutes. Even with the raging music of the party, Rafe could hear the beginning notes of “The Book of You and I” by Alec Benjamin. It is the ringtone he assigned for Y/N. He must admit it is a strange song to have chosen because it talks about a breakup and he and Y/N haven’t even started their story. The song reminds him of her and he knows Y/N loves the song just because of the mention of a book. She loves the idea of a love story being a book of the two people in the relationship. He immediately pulls away from Elizabeth, leaving the girl frustrated again to go answer the phone somewhere quieter. The song couldn’t even make it to the second note because Rafe answers it. 

“Y/L/N, are you hurt?” he immediately interrogates with worry seeping into his voice. With Y/N ignoring him for the past couple of weeks, he knows it must be serious if she is calling him right now at night. “Ca- Can y- yo- you pi-pick m-e u-u-up, please?” he hears her struggle to say through her tears. Rafe’s eyebrows knit together in concern, “Absolutely, send me your pin and I’ll be there immediately.” Y/N whispers a meek okay and goodbye before hanging up the phone, not giving him a chance to ask further questions.

———

Once again another party ended early for Y/N’s safety, but seeing as Rafe threw the party just to get her attention, he had no problem with ushering everyone out of his house as fast as he can. He doesn’t even wait for everyone to be gone before hopping into his jeep and driving off to the location Y/N sent him. He held very little regard for his own safety as he drove past stop signs and red lights. All that matters is making sure she is safe. He finally gets to his destination, the end of Wilson’s driveway. Y/N sits on the decorative rock in a full-on sobbing fit. Rafe jumps out after double-checking he put the car in park. He wraps his arms around her shoulders and pulls her into his neck without saying a word. After a few minutes, she calms down enough to tell him what happened. “He was only dating me to get to my mom. He said I was vapid and I know it’s true, but it just hurts to hear someone else confirm it.” Rafe blood boils at how Wilson made Y/N feel, “You are not vapid. You’re a rose. When you meet a new person, you are the bud. You are more reserved around them. But when you start to bloom, your passion, love, and joy start to show. Just like how when a rose starts to open up you start to see the beautiful red colour that hides within. Wilson was just too selfish and boring for you to do anything interesting with him.” She smiles up at him and nods her head in understanding. “Wait, here for a second. I’m going to go do something real quick before we leave,” he explains before getting up and walking toward the front door.

Rafe knocks on the auspicious door and waits for Wilson to open it. “What are y-” Wilson tries to say, but he is interrupted by Rafe’s fist punching him in the face. “Come near Y/N again and I’ll do a whole lot worse,” he warns, running off toward Y/N. She stands there shocked at what just happened. She giggles at the image of Rafe coming towards her. He grabs her hand as he passes by and drags her toward his car. Once he helps her up, he goes around and drives off, watching in the back mirror as Wilson and his friends finally catch up to the street. Rafe pulls out his phone to play “Getaway Car” by Taylor Swift, which causes Y/N to fall into hysterics.  

Rafe drives Y/N to Tannyhill because he knows her parents aren’t home and that Mason is probably still in a guest room with Amanda, even after the party is ended. “Where is everyone?” Y/N ponders out loud as she sees the empty house. Mason told her about the party Rafe was throwing. “Sent them home when you called,” he informs her without skipping a beat. He says it in a matter-of-fact way that she knows he doesn’t want her to feel guilty. The car stops and they see Mason come out to join them outside. “Dude, where did you go?” Mason pauses when he sees the tear-streaked face belonging to his twin. “Y/N/N, what’s wrong?” “Wilson was only dating me because of mom,” Y/N mumbles, attaching herself to Rafe. His being there during her time of vulnerability has caused her to feel comfort in his grasp. Mason’s face contorts into anger, “HE DID WHAT! I’M GOING TO KILL HIM!” Y/N quickly goes to her brother’s side and puts her arm out so he can’t get past her. “Don’t worry. Rafe already punched him for me,” she assures her brother, who pulls her into a hug. “Mace, you didn’t pick up your phone.” He grimaces and places a kiss on her forehead, “I know, I’m sorry.” “It’s okay, Rafe was there,” she whispers in the nook. “Should we go home?” Mason asks. “No, can we go to the balcony?” She replies, looking between Mason and Rafe. Both boys nod and follow her to her desired destination. 

Rafe and Y/N make a quick stop to get her more comfortable clothes, so Mason goes to get some snacks. Rafe goes past his room, heading towards Sarah’s room. He looks back to check in with Y/N and notices she isn’t following him. She is paused at his door, waiting for him to follow her. “What’s wrong? Sarah’s room is this way,” he points in the direction of the room. Y/N looks at her feet while shifting her weight between the two, “Actually, can I borrow some of your clothes, please? They are comfy.” Rafe smiles at her suggestion, “Of course, you can, Y/L/N.” he takes her inside. He gives her a plain gray T-shirt and black sweatpants. It may be a mundane outfit, but Rafe loved how she looked in his clothes. She is practically swimming in his shirt because he is so much taller than her and she had to tie her sweatpants very tight so they wouldn’t slip down so much. They both giggle at her constant need to pull up the pants as they head to the balcony. 

———

Mason sits opposite from Y/N and Rafe with a joint in hand while Y/N cuddles herself into Rafe’s arms. They’ve been talking about anything and everything just to cheer Y/N up. “Why the dude never used contractions was so fucking weird. He sounded like such an old person,” Mason jokes while taking a drag of his blunt. Rafe laughs, “Those stupid button-up shirts he’d wear all the damn time. With his name monogrammed onto them. He looked like such a douchebag in them.” This continuous mockery of Wilson has cheered Y/N up. “I caught him ironing the collar of it. Only an asshole is that uptight,” she joins in while taking a swing of her hard kombucha. The boys nod in agreement. Mason snubs out the joint and gets up from his seat, “I’m gonna head to bed. Y/N, you cool if we sleep here?” She nods; originally, she was supposed to sleep over at Wilson’s house. With that, Mason leaves the two alone. 

They sit in comfortable silence, drinking their drinks and looking up at the stars. She has now shifted so her head is on his chest and his arm is around her neck. Y/N opens up the pack of Oreos placed on the coffee table in front of them. She untwists the top of the one she picks up and gives the bottom with the cream on it to Rafe. Understanding what she wants him to do, he grabs the bottom and eats the cream for her before handing it back to her. Y/N and Wilson never had this unspoken language while they were dating. “Why doesn’t anyone love me for me?” She wonders as she gives him another Oreo. “Someone does. He’s just waiting for you to be ready,” Rafe whispers without realizing that she heard him. She looks up at him from her position and he looks down at her. She closes her eyes and starts to lean in to kiss him. No matter how much he wishes he could lean down to meet her lips, he knows this isn’t the right moment, so he pulls away. “As much as I want to kiss you right now, I would rather our first kiss be when you are feeling less vulnerable and are 100% sober,” he tells her. Disappointment is written all over her face, but she knows that he made the right decision. She would prefer their first kiss to feel more right and not just because he is there being sweet to her after a breakup. She nuzzles back into his chest and they go back to just enjoy each other’s company. Her light snores tell him she has fallen asleep and instead of waking her up from her slumber, he picks her up and takes her to the other guest bedroom. He tucks her into the bed and admires the serene look on her face as she sleeps. He lightly kisses her forehead and goes back to his room to welcome the sleep. 

Taglist: @itsalexwin @sublimepenguinpeach-blog  @gillybear17  @terraeluce​  @f4ll-for-you​ 

[celabi]

What if Reader and Scara announce their engagement to Ei?

🍄

Scaramouche probably wanted to keep the engagement a secret from his mother. he’s thought about just packing a suitcase, taking your hand and running away together, far from all your friends and family, and people who would just get in the way. he’s selfish and greedy, and wants nothing more then to have you all to himself. but he knows you have a life, and want to be around other people who aren’t just him, so he stays put.

he ponders for a while on how he’ll tell her the news, that he’s not a nerdy, loner looser anymore and that he’s finally put a ring on your finger, just because she can be a little over the top with new things relating to her son. she gets way too excited and will embarrass him by telling all her girl friends whenever he makes an accomplishment. but he knows it’s all in good spirits, and that’s shes just doing what mothers do.

you’ve both most likely come back from a date, it’s late, and scara is getting a little sleepy from all the walking he did, where you find Ei still awake in the kitchen. she greets you with a wave and beckons you both to sit down at the table while she makes you a hot coco. your boyfriend, secretly fiancé, of course slips in the chair next to you and leans his head on your shoulder, his fingers trailing up and down your thigh from under the table, as he murmurs on about how lucky he is to have you and all that.

his mother watches from behind the counter with a kind smile, as you coo and play with his hair softly. she thinks you both look so adorable, and match together well. how she couldn’t imagine anyone other then you to steal the heart from her son. Ei giggles softly, and walks over with the mugs in her hands. “You look like a married couple.”

scara, in a little daze, takes the mug and brings it too his lips, nodding slightly. “Yeah… we will be soon.” he’s just so tired he doesn’t know what he’s saying. he feels you shift in your seat, and turns to face you, where you’re already looking back at him with raised eyebrows and a small grin. he blinks, and then slowly turns to his mom, who’s eyes and mouth are both wide open. he mirrors her, and places down his drink, clearing his throat. “Uh— I mean, in the fut—”

“You’re engaged?” she whispers, and brings a hand up to cover her face. he can already hear it, small whimpers falling from her lips, and he sighs. she’s crying, pools of tears streaming down her cheeks as she holds onto the edge of the table for support. Old age is catching up to her, and her little heart can’t take it. sniffling, she lifts her head up to meet your eyes, where you smile and raise your hand, where a ring sits snug around your finger. she bawls, and as much as she is a pain in his ass, scara can’t find it in his heart to just sit there and watch.

he stands up, and awkwardly wraps an arm around her shoulders. she’s quick to react, and pulls him into a hug, her body racking of sobs as she cries into his shoulder. she hardly ever gets to touch her son, with him being so closed off and territorial, so having him in her arms really feeds into her emotions. “Oh dear, my sweet boy… I’m— I’m so happy for you!” she cries, hands balling into fists around his shirt. “You’ve come so far… I can’t believe it! I’m so— so…” scara looks to you for help, but you only giggle and wave him off.

he coughs, and softly pushes her away. her cheeks are flushes and her eyes are red and puffy, but she still smiles at him so lovingly. she reaches for his cheek and holds it in her palm, sobs slowly melting into whimpers, which turn to sniffles, until she’s able to steady her breathing without breaking down again. “too be honest… i never thought you would get a girlfriend, let alone a wife… so hearing this is such perfect news! knowing my boy has found someone to love him just the way he is…” Ei looks to you and smiles, while scara stands there and thinks. ‘Just the way he is…? What does that mean?’

she wipes her eyes for any remaining tears, and clears her throat. “So then… I suppose grandkids won’t just be a pipe dream?”

[elliesmistress]

W/n; I cried way too hard making this

Sorry if the grammar is off I couldn't be bothered fixing it. 3.1K words

WARNINGS: This does have intense topics about PTSD, Trauma, etc. Please read at your own risk and all of these are just my OPINION.

Let’s talk about trauma! Before I get into this I will say this; I am not a phycologist, nor do I have proper training, this is a subject I am very passionate about and something I have studied under my own terms/things I’ve learnt from previous therapy sessions and group meetings :) 

Ellie’s trauma and my opinion on it.

The first thing we will discuss is the “window of tolerance” (something I learned in therap) . Everyone has got a window of how much they can tolerate during a stressful situation or a situation with a lot of emotions. If someone is in a  “hyperarousal” state that person can become aggressive, agitated, hyper vigilant, or have risky and destructive behavior, this is what we call a “fight response”. If people are in a “hypo arousal” state this is when the person can become more depressed and anxious, getting put into a “freeze response”... 

Ellie’s life throughout part 1 of The Last of Us  - 

During the show we are met with Ellie and her mom, her mom had unfortunately been bitten and was killed soon after. This is where we are met with the first PTSD for Ellie. The first person she built “a bond” with is our mother, naturally we are very social creatures so not being able to build a bond with a parent will cause problems later on in life such as; having abandonment issues, having trouble to connect with other people because she has this fear that whoever she gets close with will die or leave her.

During the game we get to meet Marlene who was a close friend of Ellie’s mom, and had raised Ellie throughout her child-hood/early teenage-hood, this is where she got paired with Joel and Tess, in this scene is where you can see her “PSTD state” being triggered she didn’t want to go with Joel or Tess, because Marlene was someone who she created a strong bond with. Before we get introduced to Joel or Tess, Ellie had a friend called Riley who was someone she also created a bond with, Riley was someone who had joined the fireflies and escaped from FEDRA. Ellie had assumed that Riley had died from her random disappearance, Riley had then shown up to see Ellie and they went on an adventure together before Riley had left permanently to join the Fireflies, during this time Ellie had her first kiss with Riley and shared some very important moments with her. During this time infected had gotten to Ellie and Riley and bit Riley and Ellie, this was where we got to see the some-what first mentioning of Ellie’s immunity to the cordyceps-  During this time of Riley and Ellie being bitten Riley had told Ellie that they should “wait it out” and “go insane together” Ellie was immune, she didn’t know that and nor did Riley, the saddest thing about the first stages of infected (called runners) is that they are aware that they are infected but they aren’t able to control themselves, so Riley had gotten infected and started turning but Ellie wasn't turning, so with that being said Ellie would’ve had to kill Riley so she wouldn’t continue to turn- 

–

Joel and Tess had taken Ellie as “cargo” but obviously they all had created a bond with each other, mainly Joel with Tess as they were very close with each other. We are then met with another problem, Tess had gotten bitten and was already starting to turn, Ellie figured it out pretty quickly after Tess was acting weirdly and obviously she had created a bond with Tess so she didn’t want her to leave them/die, this is when we are met with Ellie’s PTSD, the fear of people leaving her…. 

Sam and Henry, she is also met with Sam and Henry who are two brothers who they met in Pittsburgh; Sam and Ellie were similar in age so they had created a strong bond with each other. Sadly Sam had gotten bitten on their journey, Sam had asked Ellie “what are you afraid of” to which Ellie replied with “of ending up alone” this is when we saw Ellie in a more vulnerable state, her PTSD side showing through more. This is when we look back to her mom, Sam, Marlene and soon enough Sam, in the show Ellie had tried to give her blood to Sam trying to save him from the infection. In the game, Ellie wasn’t aware that he was infected until Henry had asked her to go get him so they could all have breakfast, Sam had tried to jump onto Ellie to “infect her” this is when Ellie’s flight or fight had kicked in and she was trying to get him off of her, Joel had tried to kill Sam but Henry had shot near him so he wasn’t able to…. Henry in the end shot Sam, obviously upset he had then killed himself. (they really meant it when they said the last of us) 

The next scene we will jump to is when Ellie and Joel had their argument about Ellie trying to run away, she had done this to avoid the pain of being abandoned again.  We are met with a somewhat angry Ellie who had found out that Joel wanted to get rid of her, yet again another trauma response to her previous traumatic experiences .

When Ellie had said “I’m not her you know?” that had really hit a spot for Joel because of his past traumatic experience of losing his daughter Sarah. “I’m sorry about your daughter Joel but I have lost people to” to which joel replies with “you have no idea what loss is” 

“Everyone I have cared for either died or left me, everyone fucking except for you” which is yet again another trauma response from losing her mom, Riley, Sam, Henry etc. From her point of view she is basically saying that she has somewhat formed a bond with Joel and doesn’t want him to leave, if he had left this would’ve caused some bigger problems for Ellie in her early developing stages of life.

I won’t get too much into the situation with David but a quick overview of what happened, David was someone who Ellie had met whilst trying to hunt because Joel had injured himself pretty badly and she was trying to keep him alive. David was a pedophile the easiest way to say it, during this time Ellie had gotten onto a machete and killed David, Joel then had to get her off because she was so stuck in this fight response in order to protect herself from David. 

It was definitely a big time for Ellie when Joel had gone to comfort her because she was in such a vulnerable state and because he was there for her it immediately strengthened their bond together. The next scene we will talk about from The Last of Us part 1 is the giraffe scene, this is where Joel had found a giraffe and encouraged Ellie to come say hi to it which also created a stronger bond with him because it was his father figure side coming out. Once Joel had taken Ellie out of the hospital he had continued to lie to her because he needed his heart to be fixed, so to protect her from the truth that they COULD’VE made a cure he lied and said that there was a lot of other immune people and that Ellie wasn’t the only one

The last of us Part 2 - Ellie’s story 

The beginning scenes we are met with Ellie listening to music and then Joel comes in to talk to her. Ellie had known from her gut and the way he was saying everything that he was lying but she also wanted the truth to come out.

Joel had played a song that is a song that Ellie will come back to a lot during her trauma and other experiences because it was him trying to continue to form a bond with her and he is basically now Ellie’s dad, so this is definitely something she will hold onto for a long time. 

-

The next scene we jump to is when Joel is getting tortured by Abby and she sees this is when we see Ellie going into a dorsal/hyper-aroused  state and her fight and flight instincts kick in. Her first immediate reaction to this is to fight, Nora and the other guy pin her down so she isn’t able to move putting her into a more hypo-aroused state and the only thing she can do is to shake and scream, this is also a prime example of her attachments to Joel not once in her life did she ever beg, with David she would always insult/rile the other person up but when it came to Joel this was the only time that Ellie had actually ever begged someone to not do something. 

Once Abby has killed Joel (for all the people who have played the game) you can hear a lot of ringing and you're  not actually able to hear anything that the other people are saying. This is a good example of the parasympathetic nervous system, Ellie was being held down and her heart rate was increasing but the body knows you are at risk of having a heart attack so it’s the body's way of calming yourself down so that doesn’t happen. This is also when her freeze response hits, it’s definitely a prime example of the “fawn” response which is when your more in a people pleasing mindset and start to accept everything for what’s happened   , not to mention that this is also a PTSD response where her mind is reminding her body of what it felt like to lose somebody, her “abandonment trauma” even if he wasn’t intentionally trying to abandon her it’s still a traumatic response. 

We then see Ellie on her bed sitting down whilst Tommy is knocking at her door, this is a good example of being in a hypo-aroused state which is when her body started to shut down more, accepting everything that has happened, being super brain foggy and not being able to tell the difference between reality and dream (dissociation). Another thing to note is because Ellie wasn’t able to do anything in the situation of Joel’s death she definitely entered a freeze response which is where her entire nervous system decides “hey, let’s check out” and she won’t be able to process that trauma because she’s still grieving and is still in a hypo-aroused state. 

When Dina and Ellie go out across Seattle you will find a music store to which Ellie goes into and finds a guitar and starts to play the song that Joel had played to her in the beginning of the game, this is the closest thing she has to Joel still. This is what we call “resourcing”. Dina had found out that Ellie was immune and one of her responses was that “I can’t make you immune either” This is a statement that Ellie has a lot of guilt over because she isn’t able to make Dina immune. 

Ellie had found another guitar and went straight to that for resourcing a way to feel closer to Joel. 

Ellie’s 15th birthday 

This is another very special moment for Ellie which is where she and Joel spend time together on her birthday. Ellie had found a rocket-ship simulator in a museum and her and Joel go into it and Joel pulls out a music tape which was yet again another very important moment for her as she felt super close to Joel and was in a relaxed mindset 

Ellie had stumbled across a painting that has the fireflies symbol on it saying “LIARS” this is another cool example of how trauma can leak into the best memories we’ve had. 

Finding and Killing Nora

This is another scene where she had some-what turned into Joel, with Ellie being in a hyper-aroused state. Where she was agitated, aggressive and wanted to hurt the person who had helped kill Joel. The scene after she had killed Nora and she was outside the building Dina and Jesse where in, she was shaking which was her flight response kicking in, she was getting ready to run away from danger to protect herself. Dina had looked after Ellie still very shaken up and crying, we hear that Ellie says “I don’t want to lose you” she genuinely meant it and she was definitely very guilty about what has happened so far, another really big bonding scene for Dina and Ellie. 

The hospital scene where Ellie runs away and leaves Joel a note During this scene we get to see Ellie figuring out the truth and that Joel has been lying to her, even though she KNEW he was lying she was trying to get him to admit it. 

“You don’t get to leave me a goddamn note” which is something that Joel says, Ellie then pushes him away because she’s angry and isn’t okay with the situation because she has been trying to get Joel to talk to her for so long and admit the truth. There was definitely a lot of anger and guilt on Ellie’s side because she was probably thinking about what COULD’VE happened to the world if she was given the chance to be used to help make a vaccine 

When she killed Owen and Mel

This was definitely a big trauma response to when she had lost Joel going into that hyper-aroused state, fawn response and guilt, she had killed Mel who was pregnant, she was definitely thinking about Dina in that moment because Dina was pregnant and not only that but it’s also because she had killed a pregnant women (nobody likes her anyways so it doesn’t matter) and an unborn baby we see Ellie not being able to breathe correctly and the ringing in her ears again.

When Abby is about to kill Dina

This is definitely more on Abby's side of the story which is something we’ll get into if you guys want me to write up about Abby’s side of the story, Abby had been put into a flight or fight response and Ellie had said “she’s pregnant” to which Abby replied back with “good” and then Lev joins in and says “Abby” abby then looks up at Lev and Lev isn’t accepting of the situation so she pushes Dina away and chooses to let them go.

When Ellie has the panic attack at the farm

When Ellie tries to get the sheep into the barn and the lamb knocks over the farming tools we see a very faint flashback to an image of Joel getting tortured which immediately puts Ellie into a “hyper-arousal” state, she immediately starts to hyperventilate. The door closes and Ellie is immediately met with the ringing in her ears again the same ringing she heard when Joel died and killed Mel, she tried to run down the stairs and get to Joel, but the door was locked. This is a great example of what a PTSD flashback can be like, when she heard the lamb knock over those tools her mind brought her back to the traumatic experience of Joel’s death.

Now for the best part, when Ellie finds Abby tied up- Ellie’s original plan was to kill Abby and or Lev because she’s in so much pain and she’s still grieving- Throughout the game if you go into her drawing book you see that she isn’t able to draw Joel’s eyes anymore because she has “forgotten” what they look like… When Ellie sees Abby picking up Lev you can see that Ellie is then starting to realize that Abby is “Joel” and Lev is “Ellie” you can see in her eyes that she doesn’t want to kill and she is starting to forgive, when we get the last fight scene we are then met with another slight PTSD flashback of when Ellie sees the blood on her T-shirt, she immediately goes into a fight response and wants to hurt Abby for what she’s done. Ellie is starting to kill Abby by this point and we are then met with another slight flashback of Joel, with the same ringing in her ears, she was starting to go into a dissociative state again. Ellie knew at this point that if she didn’t let Abby go she probably would’ve lost Joel forever so she decided to let her go. When Ellie says “go, just take him” I don’t think she was talking about Lev in this situation but taking Joel with her so the pain will stop. 

When Ellie arrives back at the farm it is shown that Dina isn’t there anymore, she immediately goes back to the guitar for resourcing and helps her nervous system calm down. The ending of the game we are met with another flash back with Joel and Ellie talking, to her this probably would’ve put some peace to her grieving still, at the very end we can see that Ellie puts Joel’s guitar down and in my opinion for Ellie this is her going; “Okay, what I’m doing isn’t working. Fighting my way out of the situation isn’t working, it’s not helping me, it’s not helping anyone. I need to let you go” and so she let him go. 

In regards, I have not yet done Abby’s side of her PTSD but I will get into that if anyone would like me to and I’ll reupload it as Abby’s side and Ellies side- For anyone still wondering I do think Ellie was in the wrong, Abby had let her and Tommy live because she didn’t want to be like Joel, she didn’t want to be worse than Joel. Instead of Ellie staying and learning how to deal with her trauma she tried to get revenge on the person who had hurt her most (Abby) Ellie had killed around 150 people throughout Seattle to try to get to Abby, this is why when people have severe PTSD like Ellie it affects relationships like with Dina, Dina left in results to Ellie not working through her PTSD. Ellie had chosen revenge over Dina which is a massive sign of her PTSD and not being in a great headspace- Although, I do feel really bad for Dina, unfortunately there isn’t a lot about Dina’s backstory etc. But from what I can gather from the game Dina was constantly in a “fawn-state” where she agreed with everything Ellie had said/done because she didn’t want her to leave or whatever. 

Ellie was in the wrong, Abby wasn’t :)   

MY SINCERE APOLOGIES TO ANYONE WHO WAS SOBBING THROUGH THIS I WAS TOO BUT IT NEEDED TO BE TALKED ABOUT

I will tag people in the comments coz it's not working for some reason rn

[oscarthedino]

Jeremiah x reader

Summary: y/n Conklin is the middle sister of Steven and belly. You have been dating Conrad sense last summer but lately you have been noticing he was off. As summer is now approaching fast you can’t wait to see him and also hope you can figure out what is going on with him but you can’t believe what actually is in store for you.

Warnings: cursing, mention of death/cancer, cheating, possibly assault and smut

(Not my gif)

Every summer sense you could remember was spent in cousins with the fishers. You were the middle child of the Conklin’s, Steven is the oldest and belly is the baby. You and belly aren’t that far apart in age you are actually in the same year at school.

You and her have an ok relationship but you don’t have much in common. Belly is amazing at volleyball and the only time you have picked one up was a few summers ago and Steven hit it to hard and it nailed you right in the nose. Good to say you haven really picked one up sense and weren’t very good. You liked to stick to track and track sports.

You have always known belly has liked Conrad it was very obvious, Even Susanna knew. You all knew belly was the favorite it was obvious I mean she was the baby of the family. Susanna used to tell you she knew at least one of you would end up with her boys and deep down you hoped it would be you. You always thought Susanna knew you liked Conrad to but didn’t tell you. She always called you the most mature and reasonable out of all of you. You were the one who solved the arguments or gave something up to make the rest happy and didn’t cause stupid fights. One time when Susanna bought everyone ice cream when all of you where at the boardwalk Steven and belly where fighting and Steven knocked belly’s ice cream out of her hand. Belly ran back to the moms like she always did. I tried to stop her knowing that it would just make everything worse but it didn’t work. Laural was always worried about money and felt bad when Susanna would buy things for us so she made Steven share hers with belly. Steven was so mad about it that he almost threw his away just to spite her but I gave belly line before he could. When Susanna asked I told her my stomach hurt from the rides so you didn’t even want it. She pulled you into a hug and told you how nice you were to everyone. You always worried about how nice or open hearted I guess you were laural always told you to be careful because people will take advantage of it. Conrad ended up sharing his with you. You think that was the moment you realized you liked him.

That was 3 years ago. Now you are on the way to cousins and can’t wait to see everyone especially Conrad. You guys have almost been saying for a year now. He asked you to be his girlfriend officially last summer and ofc you said yes. Ever since then though belly hasn’t been as open with you. You understand that she is upset but you couldn’t help it. You guys got in a giant fight when you told her like you expected but it didn’t make it any easier. Conrad told you it would be ok and she would get over it eventually and he would try to talk to her. You were always jealous of the two of them. They were super close I mean you guys were but in a different way. You have always been closer to Jeremiah. You guys did everything with each other especially When Steven and Conrad would randomly disappear to do their own thing. You had a tradition of sneaking out to the beach the first night and catching each other up on everything.

All of a sudden you get pulled out of you trance by belly obnoxiously singing from the passenger seat and Steven yelling from the drivers seat to shut up. You look over to your mom and see her silently laughing. You never see your mom this happy except in cousins. But this year she seems even happier I don’t know if it’s she’s just excited, happy to be divorced which was still pretty fresh from everyone and hurt for you still or , the fact her book was going good and she had a meeting about it today.

Belly looks back at me still singing and I chime in now singing just as loud and we both start laughing with Steven says “ I’m this close to cutting my ears off and pulling this car over right now if you both don’t shut up”

You and belly both look at each other and sing even louder and Steven looks and that both of you and lets out a loud groan.

You guys stop at the convenience store before you guys head to the house you decide that you want to wait in the car instead of go in. When everyone gets back belly has a huge smile on her face and Steven looks disgusted. You’re about to ask what happened but then your mom gets back in the car you tell yourself to ask Steven later because you doubt belly will tell you. Before you know it you’re pulling up to the summer house.

Steven immediately b-lined it out of the car as soon as he saw Jeremiah come out of the house my mom followed after. You are about to the get out of the car as you see belly fixing her hair and you immediately feel a twig of jealousy. “Come belly you can do that later” you tell her and she gives you a small nod almost looking mad.

You get out of the car and immediately see Jeremiah giving your mom a hug. He spots you from behind her and you see the biggest goofiest smile that you have only ever seen on jere. As soon as he gets to you his arms surround you. I mean he has always been taller than you but he has definitely grown some. I knew he was in football now and he definitely had more muscle but he is also taller 6 feet if not taller. While you have stayed around 5,3 5,4. “You have changed so much” I tell him as I pull back from the hug “ so did you” he says “ I mean I know I have kinda seen you a few mouth ago but..” he takes a step back to fully look at you.

I mean you have changed a lot in the last year you’re now on the bigger side of a C cup and have filled out more in other places but you also feel a little different. It also hasn’t been that long since you have Jere technically. You and Conrad try to go out and see each other every few mouths or sooner when you get the chance but he is really busy with football and you are very focused on school so the trips are usually short and don’t really get a chance to see Jeremiah or Susanna much. “I see your not the only who changed” Jeremiah says loud enough so that belly who is behind you can hear as he moves to give her a hug picking her up and spinning her.

You see Susanna at the door and you see what almost looks like pride and so much love in her eyes. You go up to her and give her the biggest hug ever. “I’ve missed you so much” you tell her “it’s only been a few months sweetie” “Exactly it’s been to long” you respond with holding back the biggest smile as she kisses your forehead.

You look over your shoulder and see Conrad come into view. Susanna looks over “ go say hi don’t let me stop you” she tells you “ thank you” you tell her giving her one more squeeze before heading over to him.

Your smile is so big now you have missed Conrad so much. As you walk over to him you can’t help to notice who he is staring at, belly. You try to not think into and just tell yourself he hasn’t seen her in a long time longer then you at it’s nothing but you can’t help but be a little jealous. When he sees you in his peripheral vision he immediately turns to you. You can’t help but notice the sadness and almost disappoint in his eyes before he covers it up with a smile. You jump into his arms and immediately Barrie your face in his chest. “Ive missed you so much” you tell him almost coming out as a mumble because your face is in his shirt. His hand comes up to your hair before he tilts your chin up to kiss you and says “I have missed you so much more”.

You guys don’t get many more words out before Jeremiah and Steven yell from where they are standing “I think it’s time for a belly flopppp”. You immediately look at them and at belly before the boys start chasing her and she doesn’t get far. As the Carry her to the pool you go ahead of them to open the gate and watch as the count the three and throw her in. Before you know it Jeremiah and Steven get that look that you have seen many times before. They all run at you and you don’t even get 3 steps before they are throwing you in the pool to. Your immediately surrounded by water and as you come up to the surface for a breath the boys are all hunched over laughing except for Conrad who is barley laughing in the corner. You and belly look at each other knowing what to do. “Owwww my ankle hurts guy seriously can someone help me” belly says to the boys. Conrad immediately comes up concerned and you can’t help but feel the same jealousy you did earlier. He reaches his hand out to belly and she pulls him in.

Steven and Jeremiah are now laughing even harder. “Ok guys I’m done, jere please help me out” you ask him “Ok ok fine” he tells you also giving you his hand before you pull him in to.

Steven looks to be in tears now and jere asks him “come on bro don’t you want to be apart of the fun”. “No im good on missing this fun” he tells us still laughing as he walks inside.

You over to see what happened to Conrad and see him and belly inches apart staring at each other before belly pushes him away and you can hear her barley say “what’s your problem” before swimming away.

What the fuck was that, you didn’t even want to know but something pinged inside your chest. You got out after belly went inside and no one stopped you. Conrad didn’t even say anything

[midorihiyori]

u said ur not a proshipper and stuff but isnt soushin a proship tho.... abuser x victim>???? and shin saw midori like the older brother he didnt have../??? /gen

Originally I wasn't going to respond to this, I thought it was funny so I giggled at it with my friends and I thought that would be it. But I realized this is a wonderful opportunity to write a really long post disproving these theories that this fandom insists are canon. I’ll start by debunking some common arguments. I put a lot of effort into this and am actually using proper grammar IM SERIOUS GUYS!!! This is really long by the way

“Shin saw Midori like an older brother”

I’ll get this argument out of the way first because it’s weak, it’s a common trope in media where relationships are described as familial to show the closeness of the relationship. Even so, Shin probably said that because he looks up to Midori and respects him. If you just want to see them as having a brotherly relationship, that’s fine, but this argument doesn’t stand for calling Soushin proship.

“Midori groomed Shin”

I honestly have no idea where this theory even came from. Some people say that Midori preyed on Shin and that he was much older, while it’s more likely they are both in the same age range. Shin is canonically 21-22 years old while Midori’s age isn’t stated, but since they were in highschool together it can be assumed he wasn’t all that much older than him. Not saying you can’t headcanon that they aren’t, but you shouldn’t push your headcanons as canon to insist Soushin is proship. Midori changed to Shin’s school so that he could get his signature but he also became his friend in order to make the Shin AI. He could have easily just been a highschooler himself. Midori is an Asu-Naro agent and from what we know about them they have used underaged people for labor (eg. Kai, Sei, Hinako). If the common theory that the silhouette in Kai’s mini episode being Midori’s mom is true, it’s probable that he grew up similarly to Kai and Sei, being made to do Asu-Naro’s bidding as children. It’s not like you need the credentials of an adult to give out contracts. You could also make the argument that Midori must be older because he worked as a nurse and school counselor while trying to get participant signatures, but one could argue Asu-Naro has the connections to get him in such a position without schooling or even have higher levels of schooling to get the education in a shorter timespan. But I’m getting off topic. Many people who say Midori groomed Shin say that he groomed him into believing he had to leave himself behind and that is why he took on Midori’s persona in the death game when it’s clearly not the case in canon. It was Midori who wanted Shin to be the best version of himself.

“And you… should become the person you want to be, so you can meet them proudly.”

This dialogue is part of Shin’s lost memory, where they are talking about Shin’s wish to meet his lost sibling. It’s one of the only shown scenes of Shin and Midori pre-canon, and he’s clearly being supportive and wanting Shin to be happy with himself.

Here ‘???’ is the shadow version of himself, he is having an inner conflict of interest. Commonly referred to as Shadsou, is the actual reason Shin took on Midori’s persona. What Shadsou is exactly is ambiguous but generally it’s the personification of Shin’s devil's advocate. People often assume that Shadsou is another consequence of Midori’s impact on Shin, as if he isn’t his own character who can make his own decisions. This fandom often waters down his character and infantilizes him like this.

“Midori is Shin’s abuser”

Again, another headcanon people insist is canon. The reality is that Midori and Shin’s relationship is ambiguous and it hasn’t been explored much in canon. Soushin can be explored in many different ways because of how vague their relationship is. Saying that Midori abused Shin is an unsubstantiated claim so it’s just a headcanon, not saying you can’t have that but again, you can’t be claiming it’s fact.

This is the one cg we have of Midori and Shin pregame btw:

This is the cg where Midori is encouraging Shin to be someone he’s proud of. Not very abusive guys.

“But it’s implied to be abusive”

This is usually the evidence they use for the implication:

“He’s… a scary friend of mine…” 

Midori’s mannerisms are scary. It isn’t just Shin who thinks that he is, he’s one of the main antagonists of the game. Shin finding Midori to be scary doesn’t mean he abused him.

“Though I learned a lot of things at his house…”

It’s insane to me that people use this as evidence but, this is clearly about Midori teaching him how to code. People claim that it has deeper meaning but really it comes down to how you want to interpret it.

There are multiple points where Midori is shown to feel affection in strange ways. It’s possible he didn’t understand ordinary forms of affection, similarly to Kai who was deprived of affection growing up as an agent. Midori’s odd mannerisms towards Shin could just be how he shows his love. awww. isnt that so sad

Many people call Midori Shin’s abuser and claim Soushin is proship without proper canonical proof. A lot of people who kin Shin project onto their relationship and insist that it’s abusive because their bias rooted from their own trauma and experiences clouds their perception of Shin. This happens along with people infantilizing Shin and excusing all of his actions by blaming the supposed ‘grooming’ or ‘abuse’ he experienced from Midori. This is just a common problem with mischaracterization of Shin and Midori by the fandom. It’s gotten to the point where people like this dear anon believe these things to be true!

Then there's the people who ARE proshippers and insist that Soushin is abusive or pedophilic because they want it to be and are looking at them with that lens of thinking. These people greatly help spread the idea that Soushin is a proship, making it much harder to discern canon from fanon when much of the Soushin content is by these people, specifically outspoken adult western fans that praise proship and advocate out for Soushin being problematic, that's what the general fandom now sees it as even though it’s just not canonically happening.

At the time of posting this, Shin’s minisode has yet to come out. I’m sure that once it does it will give a much clearer view of their relationship, maybe I’ll have more to say then! For now, that is all I’ve got for you tumblr.

[mayukicrystalqueen]

Okay so has anyone done like a DinLuke Anastasia AU? Because honestly I was listening to the Anastasia Broadway soundtrack (again) instead of my usual DinLuke playlist and like all I can think is this au.

Like Padmé and Anakin are King and Queen of Naboo, with the royal twins Luke and Leia. Don’s parents are servants who moved to Naboo from Aq Ventina and got jobs in the palace. Din is like only a few years older than Luke in this as opposed to their cannon age gap. Because of this they often hang out (I doubt Padmé or Anakin would have issue with him being friends with the hired helps kid just given who they are) Luke is Din’s best friend, but Luke’s beat friend is forever and always his twin sister Leia, though Din is a close second. Both have a crush on each other, but neither voice it.

Then when Luke is eleven and Din is like fourteen, not quite a full on revolution but enough people are unhappy with things that a group of them Storm the palace and kill Anakin and Padmé. Leia escapes with Bail Organa and is adopted by him, but Luke isn’t as lucky. Din helps him into the servants quarters, but Luke drops the music box his mom had made when he and Leia were babies. Din goes back for it, but witnesses his parents being executed for refusing to give up the twins location causing him to black out and stay separated from Luke. Luke meanwhile escapes, but falls down a hill and hits his head losing his memories. The next day a kind old lady finds him and offers to help him find somewhere to stay.

“What’s your name child?”

“I think it’s Lu…. Lu… Luka?”

“Very well Luka, let’s find you somewhere warm for the night”

Fast forward ten years, things have gotten worse, Luke is struggling to find and keep a job, Din WAS a Mandalorian, but they aren’t very welcome around Naboo anymore after one of them was involved with the murder of the King and Queen and disappearance of the Prince. He has Grogu still, but he’s a human in this au because I say so. He’s mute and likely the Star Wars equivalent of a nonverbal autistic. Grogu doesn’t like the helmet much either, he doesn’t like not seeing his dad’s face, so the helmet (and the rest of the armor) goes.

Greef and Cara come up with the plan to fool Leia, who is offering a reward for anyone who can return her brother to her. (She knows he’s alive because she can sense him in the force) Din wants no part in it, but is struggling with money and affording to care for Grogu and the amount of money offered, even split between them, would be life changing. So he, reluctantly, goes along.

The group eventually meet Luke, hoping to get off world and find his family, and agree he looks just like the missing prince (no duh). Greef and Cara are elated that Luke has no memories and just wants to find his family meaning no extra split in the reward. Din on the other hand feels bad for taking advantage of someone who looks just like his best friend. Luke for his part, recognizes Din, but can’t figure out how he knows him, or how he knows his name.

The group begins making plans to leave Naboo. Din is left with Luke and Grogu. Luke asks Din if they could have met when they were kids because he feels like he’s met him before. Din confesses he was very close to the prince before he went missing and how he was his best friend. Luke asks if he believes he’s really the prince and Din admits he doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to believe his best friend would have forgotten him. Luke reminds him that he can’t remember anyone or anything from before he was eleven. (Cue in my dreams sequence) Luke accidentally floats some things making Din believe he might just be the prince. (Force users are rare and even rarer would be someone who looks so similar to Luke with force sensitivity)

After months of traveling via shuttles (no one has a ship) Din, feeling guilty eventually confesses everything to Luke, who he’s started falling in love with. Luke confronts Greef and Cara about using him to get a reward and trying to con someone who is just looking for her brother. Luke agrees to continue with them, but only to see if Leia is his sister and as he doesn’t trust Greef or Cara anymore he doesn’t want to see them afterwards. Din promises to help Luke find his family if Leia isn’t his sister and the two end up spending the night together.

Meanwhile Bail convinces Leia to give up the search, at least temporarily for her sake.

Stuff happens, Luke and Leia reunite, Luke gets his memory back, Din realizes Luka and Luke are the same person when talking with Luke results in him remembering the time Luke convinced his parents to let Din ride in the parade with them. Someone tries to kill Luke and Leia, Din stops them. Din and Luke get together, Luke adopts Grogu and the three decide to live a quiet life though Luke remains close to Leia.

I might have to write this actually.

[erikiara80]

Will and Jonathan

To celebrate Will’s birthday, long post dedicated to my favorite brothers and their beautiful bond.

Season 1

The most terrifying week of Jonathan’s life. First, he thought that if he had been at home, nothing bad would’ve happened to Will. Then, if you think about it, he is the only one who thought for at least two days that Will really died. His worst nightmare. He failed to protect his little brother.

But he’s always there for Will. And if he had been there that night too, the Demogorgon would’ve killed him and taken Will anyway. And Will would’ve have been lost.

When Will is sad, Jonathan can always make him smile and feel better: 

I have a brother, eight years younger than me. We are very close. I basically raised him. You know, single mom (divorced parents when I was 13 and my brother was 5), night shifts. And we were also poor. 

I relate to the Byers so much. In my family, I am Jonathan. It’s so painful to imagine what he felt when Hopper told him that they had lost Will

When he saw Will’s small body on that table

Season 1 is a roller coaster of emotions. But they all love Will too much. And their love saved him. This is one of the most precious moments in the whole show, imo. I love it so much.

Jonathan is so emotional. He holds Will’s hand as if he wants to be sure that Will won’t go away again. Also, wonderful performance from Charlie. I can feel all Jonathan’s love, happiness and relief

Season 2

Another big season for the Byers brothers. And another time Jonathan risked to lose Will. The crazy thing is that this time Will is there but something is trying to erase everything he is. Another nightmare (army of monsters aside, lol)

Once again, the season starts with Jonathan taking care of his family (I really hope tho that at the end of the story, he can finally live his life and find his happiness, knowing that his family is safe. It’s so unfair -Lonnie’s fault- that he has all those responsibilties at such young age)

Fortunately, he also has Nancy. He’s starting to find something for himself. Problem is, Henry doesn’t care. So, the moment Jon leaves town... oops, Will gets possessed. No wonder he thinks he can’t leave him and his mom. 

But before that, we get another beautiful moment where Jonathan encourauges Will to be himself and be proud of it (Jonathan is just a wonderful person, ok?)

Will is so upset about everything. He knows nobody can understand how he feels. At first he doesn’t even want to talk with Jonathan.

But Jonathan knows him so well and always knows what to say. Being a freak is actually the best. Normal people never accomplish anything important in this world. 

And then this. So sweet. Aaaand we also have little shit Will, who always reminds his siblings that they are friendless, lol. I love him

And of course, Will smiles again

Then, sorry Jonathan. The real nightmare begins. I love S2, because there’s so much love for Will in every scene. From Mike, Joyce, Jonathan. What an amazing season! I’m so happy that S5 will include big S2 ideas but also have S1 vibe. The two seasons where Will and the love people have for him are central.

The last episodes are incredible. I just love everything.

The shed scene is absolutely one of my favorite scenes of the show, and imo, one of the best. Stellar acting, perfect shots, amazing dialogue, and oh, the emotions. It’s simply perfect. And different from what we usually see in Stranger Things.

They love him so much

But then this moment kills me every time. Jonathan is desperate. He can’t hear Will screaming and being in such pain without helping him. I’m glad Nancy was there. In fact, a few minutes later, he tries to help Will, but it was a mistake. 

Jonathan couldn’t think anymore. He was sure Will was dying. He had to save him. But Nancy, as always, helped (yeah, she hurt Will, but it was the only way) This scene!

And then, he got his brother back

Season 3

There aren’t as many scenes as in the previous seasons, but the love between them is always there. 

Always protective

And even when he doesn’t say anything, Jonathan always see his brother’s pain, like Charlie said.

Season 4 

Both brothers are struggling a lot now. They’re older and for a while they probably thought they weren’t as close as they used to be. And that hurt and must have felt so strange. Jonathan is almost adult now. He feels all the weight of his responsibilities. He feels like living his life means abandoning his family. So he’s stuck. So glad he has Argyle!

And Will is dealing with feeling different, his feelings for Mike and the fear that he will never be happy. He’ll never find love. It doesn’t help that for the first time he doesn’t feel his brother’s support. Jonathan seems different and distant. Maybe Will, who’s more aware of his sexuality now, even believes that it’s his fault if his brother doesn’t spend much time with him anymore. 

That’s heartbreaking.

But of course it’s not true, it will never be true. Jonathan never stops caring, or being protective. No matter what.

Oh, and this moment. This moment...

This is the season where both Will and Jonathan have much less scenes than in any other season, and yet S4 is where they share probably their most emotional and beautiful moment. This is the only scene in the show, along with when they find Will’s fake body in the quarry, that made me cry.

It’s so beautiful. Many people criticize it and say it wasn’t clear enough. That the writers were cowards. But I think it’s the opposite. It’s so delicate. And so in character. Jonathan was so sweet. 

He didn’t push Will, because he didn’t know if Will was ready. He knows Will is afraid of losing the people he loves, that they won’t accept him. So he didn’t explicitly say that he knows. He just let his little brother know that he will always love him. That he will always be there. He made Will understand that he is important and special to him, and he will always be. 

And NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING will ever change that.

And Will’s little smile and tears when he hears those words. Jonathan hasn’t forgotten about him. He wasn’t distant because he knows and doesn’t approve.

He’s just dealing with his own problems. And I love, love that here Will also wants to reassure Jonathan that he will always be there for him too.

This has never happened in other seasons. It was always Jonathan the one who offered support. And it makes me hope that in S5, the season of Will’s coming of age, he too will reassure and protect Jonathan, and tell him that he deserves happiness. 

Jonathan’s always been there for Will, and I’m sure he will do everything to protect him again in S5. But Will will protect his brother (and mom) too. Jonathan will see him become confident and find love with Mike. He’ll see his mom with Hopper, and El happy too. And he’ll finally know that he can live his life and that his family is safe and happy.