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tabletoptrinketsbyjj · 3 years

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Trinkets, 38: Interesting baubles, semi magical objects and items touched by mystery.

A worn mercenary banner consisting of one rusty old spearhead atop a long wooden shaft. Five feet down from the head there rests a cross-piece four feet long tied to the shaft. From that hangs flag itself; A field of scarlet with nine hanged men in black and six yellow daggers in the upper left and lower right quadrants, respectively, while the upper right quadrant features a shattered skull and the lower left boasts a bird of prey astride a severed head. Knowledgeable PC’s will recognize it as the Standard of the Black Company a free mercenary company who can trace their history back hundreds of years through their well-documented archives.

A corrupted magic charm made of the skull a human who died in terror and with regrets. The bone is wrapped with dried kelp and algae, and the skull’s forehead and dome is inscribed with strange sigils made from flower pigments. The entire bonecharm hums with power, creating a faint but distinctive ‘song’ that the spiritually perceptive can hear.

A scroll covered with depictions of constellations.

A shattered mask, once belonging to an ecclesiastic of the occult. Though broken this mask still retains a trace of its original purpose. It hums with faint whispers when worn. They demand an offering.

A one gallon cask of Brewer's Pudding, an alcoholic “drink” so thick that the bartender needs to cut it like a loaf of bread to serve it. Bartenders typically put it in a bowl with lager poured over top, which slowly changes the "drink's" consistency similar to that of pudding. More squalid taverns sometimes serve it between slices of bread as a sandwich.

A gnarled pipe smells strongly of cinnamon and fish, disturbing your digestion. Its bowl has constellations etched around it.

A small, ragged figure crafted from human bone and hair, posed as though shading its eyes to see a long distance.

A charm bracelet of silver chain with five shield-shaped charms. The shields have various religious icons for luck. It's covered in dried blood on it, suggesting the previous owner wasn't that lucky.

A shifting monochromatic geometric, glass prism.

An ironwood skeleton key inlaid with spiraling lines of silvery mithril, and etched with flowing Sylvan script that reads “May this world know some measure of my skill as I depart to the next.”

—Keep reading for 90 more trinkets.

—Note: The previous 10 items are repeated for easier rolling on a d100.

A scroll covered with depictions of constellations.

A gnarled pipe smells strongly of cinnamon and fish, disturbing your digestion. Its bowl has constellations etched around it.

A small, ragged figure crafted from human bone and hair, posed as though shading its eyes to see a long distance.

A charm bracelet of silver chain with five shield-shaped charms. The shields have various religious icons for luck. It's covered in dried blood on it, suggesting the previous owner wasn't that lucky.

A shifting monochromatic geometric, glass prism.

An ironwood skeleton key inlaid with spiraling lines of silvery mithril, and etched with flowing Sylvan script that reads “May this world know some measure of my skill as I depart to the next.”

A smoking pipe made with a stem of gnarled wood and a deep bowl made of yellowed bone. The bowl has mystical lettering and runes carved into it.

A porcelain teapot inscribed with ancient symbols. A blue snake-like dragon coils around the pot, its body forming the handle and its mouth forming the spout.

A psaltery made from the darkest ebony wood. Its back is slightly curved with an indentation in the base so that it sits nicely on the player's lap. Inlayed in its face is a twisted branch covered in beautiful cherry blossoms. As the instrument is played the blossoms seem to fall away to reveal that the branch is not a branch at all but the bony hand of a skeleton.

An ornate lacquered box containing a set of spoons, thirteen in number. Each is topped with a tiny figure that represents one of the Immortal Heroes of an eastern cult that is thought to be extinct. In that cult, the spoons are considered a valuable prize that proves the courage and skill of its members. The set would be decently valuable to a collector or otherwise interested buyer.

An alabaster vase that has bas-relief figures of goddesses in skimpy clothing in provocative poses. Knowledgeable PC’s can identify the goddesses are in fact the handmaidens of the Martyr Prophet and even to depict them clothed is a right arrogated to the Prophet’s priesthood. The vase itself would be counted a blasphemy by the Prophet’s followers.

An oil lamp no larger than two cupped hands that’s both delicate and fearful. Unlike more common lamps of brass or even common earthenware, the lamp is forged of hair-thin and glittering black iron, cool to the touch. It bears a single looped handle, and is covered in finely rendered etchings of arabesques and stylized wings.

A number of sealed oval tins containing fillets of true monkfish in brine. The fish’s bland pale flesh travels very well and is an imperishable as a saint’s, hence its name. The fillets are filling an nourishing and there are enough tins to equate to 2d4+1 days’ worth of trail rations.

A large, cracked, spiral horn of some great beast, bound in silver and caked in blood. When blown, hot winds and swirling sands erupt from the mouth. All who hear the horn’s call are urged to fight with the unrelenting fury of desert storm.

A cerulean-blue semi-solid stone that is nearly translucent, and shines with an internal blue light.

An onyx hair pin topped with a golden sphere accented by ivory flowers. It's covered in dust and the sphere is a bit oxidized, but with some proper cleaning it might be a suitable gift for the daughter of a noble.

A black-green beeswax candle decorated with carvings of birds. The wick seems to be made out of gold threads. It faintly smells of ash and seawater.

A constantly-shifting jigsaw puzzle made of of muscle and viscera.

A dull green glass bottle, filled with transparent oil that rolls about like the sea's tides. Its label, written in Undercommon, reads "Immortality." It is sealed with a deep black cork, and if opened reeks of skunk spray.

A small stone that ticks evenly like a finely wound clock. Everyone who hears the stone becomes convinced that the stone must remain locked away or something very bad will happen.

A commemorative porcelain plate of the last royal wedding.

A jigsaw puzzle consisting of occult symbols that when fully completed opens a portal to that which the user desires most in the world. There are three pieces missing.

A black robe covered in tattered and worn crow feathers, almost giving the illusion of wings when the arms are raised.

A flexible skin tight, black-silk mask that covers the bearer’s face with just a slit exposing the eyes and perforations at the nose and mouth.

A wide iron-studded dog collar.

A sealed one gallon cask filled with a smoky, spicy spirit akin to weaker tequila. This aperitif is made from a flowering cactus found deep in the deserts heart. When drunk, it causes memories to flow more freely to the drinker's minds forefront, often sparking intense feelings of nostalgia or regret. If overindulged, it could even dislodged repressed memories, forgotten dreams, and other things forgotten (deliberately or otherwise).

A gilded wineglass fashioned from a human skull and set with lapis lazuli.

A set of seven humanoid shaped obsidian pendants.

A dark green egg-shaped stone has been worn away on one side to reveal a rough, vivid purple interior. Knowledgeable PC's can identify the mineral as a geode.

A metal mask resembling a deformed man with a protruding tongue, often worn by wrong-doers before they are paraded through the streets as punishment.

The "alchemical" recipe and blueprint for a "Big Mama", a strange series of nested barrels filled with gunpowder and nails and designed to detonate from a fuse.

A bloodstained scrap of parchment with a list of several names, including a couple of the PC’s. All but one of the non-PC names are crossed out.

A small silver bracelet fashioned in the style of a serpent with two small cyan-colored stones for eyes.

A beautiful, multicolored glass sculpture that seems to take different shapes depending on the angle it is viewed from. From one angle, a mother and child, from another a proud warrior, all in vibrant color and exquisite detail. There are eight distinct scenes visible, one from each cardinal direction.

A delicate tea set made of beautifully shaped glass. Each cup has been blown to look like a pair of child-sized hands clasped together, and the tea pot itself has the appearance of a cloaked human female kneeling in offering. Her hands reaching outwards act as the spout for the pot, and her pulled back hood acts as the lid. No liquid ever flows out of the teapot unless one of the cups in the set is directly beneath the spout.

A medium sized hourglass fashioned from dark walnut and brass. Inside, the sands shine in a variety of iridescent colors. There is a slight tinkling sound as they fall, almost like the sound of a music box, carried on the wind.

An exquisite scrimshaw design of dueling dragons made from a harpy claw.

A scepter made with scorched wood, that has an orb of solid, coagulated blood on it's edge.

A floating spherical chess board that when opened, reveals intricately crafted pieces inside it. The pieces magically adhere to the sphere as it floats, and allows you to play without the chessmen falling off.

A small, golden chime, tied with a red ribbon around the handle, that rings softly of its own accord with a bittersweet melody. It makes those who hear it think of sunlight on a coastline that they've never seen, holding the hand of someone they’ve never known.

A battered tin kettle, slightly warm to the touch. Any liquid placed into the kettle will become something almost, but not quite, exactly nothing like tea.

A pair of goggles that allow the bearer to see from the point of view of a random reef fish in some far off sea.

A black and purple scale of some enormous horror of the far realm.

A thick piece of leather on which was branded a prayer of contrition. It says that it is not enough to ask for absolution, penitence must be forced upon the impure. Some sins can only be forgiven with consecrated flame.

A stoppered, green glass bottle wrapped in grimy stained leather and cord. It is filled with an inferior moonshine containing alcohol distilled in the worst possible conditions. The liquor tastes worse than it looks, but provides a small degree of resistance to the horrors of daily life

A rather intricately filigreed belt buckle featuring a stylistic rendering of a heroic figure standing in defiance of a formless darkness looming above it.

A wine bottle sealed with wax containing a rolled vellum scroll.

A burlap pouch containing a handful of wooden tokens marked with a skull and crossbones on one side and "One Grog" on the other.

A jade carving of a flying fish, inexpertly done and with poor detailing.

An invitation to a charity ball rewarded for substantial devotion and contribution to community and individual well being.

A royal decree ordering all land-holding families to send one armed soldier to an official army muster. Any family that fails to respond is in danger of having their ancestral land titles revoked.

A leather plague doctor's mask with silver frames and buckles.

A copper-plated tin badge of a winged heart.

A wooden flute made of red wood with etchings of leaves around part of its base

An oddly shaped curved wand with elven writing carved within. When held at nighttime it helps its owner sleep peacefully to the sounds of nature.

A large wooden chest with many unique pelts, wrapped one inside the other. In the center a small jade figurine of a humanoid with a fish-like face. It is extremely cold to the touch.

A fancy gold coin with two crowns on both faces. It is literally embedded in a small cube of clearest crystal.

A bright red square tablet of unknown material about three inches to a side with a metal plate that slides to open a tiny window through the tablet that reveals a sheet of black material within. It is lighter than stone, metal, or wood and bears no markings other than a rectangle of gummy residue on one side and a small circular metal coin on the reverse.

A rose quartz paperweight shaped like a crushing fist.

A toy horse carved from bone.

A letter with the following written inside "We only need 300 more gold until we can bring her back and live peacefully once again as a family."

An ivory spoon with teardrop handle.

A miniature portrait of a young chestnut-haired beauty set in a silver frame. She appears to be set against the skyline of a metropolitan city on a sea, as though the portrait was painted from a tall building or hillside.

A tin box decorated with an embossing of a ship in a bottle, containing precision woodworking and knot tying tools with telescoping handles.

A fist sized ball of melted copper coins.

A bronze statuette of a chariot, with horses and charioteer.

A child’s painting framed beautifully. The art itself is fairly lacking but the frame is worth a decent amount, even more to someone who appreciates the juxtaposition of incredibly classy and messy.

A silken caul hair net decorated with small semiprecious stones.

An ebon walking stick with a monogrammed silver handle.

A bone pipe carved with intricate crimson sigils; its smoke appears as writhing shades of the damned.

A scrap of dirty parchment bearing a list of names, some of them crossed off. Investigation reveals all of the names on the list are dead people, mostly buried in the Gilded Graveyard. Those who have been crossed off have recently have their graves’ plundered, their bodies stolen. Further investigation still reveals that these were all jurors in the trial of Isabella Rasping, a necromancer convicted of using a zombies as murder weapons during the infamous “Meatpuppet Murders” two centuries ago. She was executed for the crime by her own creations. Isabella has returned as a revenant with unfinished business; she maintains her innocence and believes she can now prove it, and so is gathering the previous jurors for a kind of “retrial."

A ceramic dining plate edged with copper.

A bandolier from which hang a half dozen small securely stoppered flasks. Each is filled with a noxious substance, preserved at the height of its foulness: Human diarrhea, spoiled milk, vomit, cat urine, skunk stink glands and rotting fish. The flasks are flimsy and designed to break apart when they hit something solid and each stopper has a small eye-hook screwed into the cork. They can be thrown, shot from a sling or flask launcher (A modified light crossbow) or a length of twine has be tied to the eye-hook, creating a tripwire trap.

A brass bust of a famed scholar and medic.

An anklet of braided gold and silver worked with small carnelians.

A set of bagpipes made from the skin of a displacer beast, with the drones and chanter carved from its bones.

An antiquated torture device designed for mutilating hands and fingers.

A leather eyepatch with a turquoise stone surrounded by white agate resembling a crude eye.

A stuffed cockatrice clutching a sculpted marble hand in one talon.

An egg, roughly the size of a goose egg but navy blue with mottled flecks of gold leaf, mounted on a round wooden base with a tiny placard that reads "Imaskari Sun Hawk". When touched, the golden flecks on the egg gently glow that grows brighter and softer in time with the heartbeat of the one touching it and there is the sensation of rustling movement from within.

A fragment of a painting torn from a larger canvas depicting an unfamiliar princess.

A family portrait of an infamous noble house whose eyes seem to follow onlookers.

A pale gourd with ornate glyphs painted in black around the cork at its apex and twine braided about it. Try as one might, nobody has ever been able to open the stopper. A thin metallic clinking can be heard when the gourd is shaken.

A delicate pink flower, carefully preserved with magic and will not wilt or break yet preserves its natural beauty.

An old withered hand, no more than skin drawn taut across bones, and tarnished rings hanging loosely from the fingers. The bearer can rattle the rings on the hand which causes the smell of lilies to fills the air around him.

A small metal top seems like an everyday child’s toy except for the skull engraved into a button in the middle.

A sturdy wooden travel case containing a popular board game known as Roundels. It has similar elements to chess but is played on a circular board with a stylized keep. The game is abstract and is supposed to loosely simulate a siege. There is an attacking player and a defending player and each side has some unique pieces in addition to their common pieces. The etiquette of playing Roundels requires players to participate in two games, one as the attacker and the other as defender.

A horse femur that is as light as a feather.

An old yellowed skull that in spite of its lack of eyeballs, seems to be constantly eyeing the bearer.

A length of ivory shaped like a bone, covered in small onyx spiders that look all too real. The arcane rod can be used as an magical focus and is a grisly sight to behold.

A burlap bag large enough to hold a coconut. It is smooth to the touch and found in the color purple with a golden strap.

An arcane wand that is rough to hold and twists like a wild vine.

A translucent green stone the size of a fat grape. The item is sea glass, a fragment of a bottle that washed around the world and back, until it had no sharp edges.

A satyr statuette which increases the libido of everyone within line of sight of it.

A bewitched letter which appears to be addressed to whoever is currently holding it, describing their features and personality in adoring terms.

A small crystal which, when peered through, appears to show alternate universes. Actually a fragment of a much larger crystal, part of a complex device deep in the Old City.

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bbrandy2002 · 4 years

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The Getaway

Part Two

A/N: This is obviously a continuation of a birthday fic I wrote for @ao719 that is now 2 weeks late 🙈 I was dealing with stuff, dont judge lol The writers block and doubts were for real yo! But thanks to my Tumblr bestie, who wouldnt let me quit, encouraged me, talked me through this thing and gave me ideas, it finally all came together.

Anitah, I apologize for being so late and the silliness of this fic and if it's terrible. I still hope you had a wonderful birthday and are blessed with so many more 💜

A/N/N: Thanks to @burnsoslow for beta reading and literally a thousand other things.

Warning: A lot of bad language, a miserable Drake Walker and violence involving tasers, fires, animals and car accidents ... No one dies people!

**Drake and Liam belong to Pixelberry, Nikolas belongs to me, the driver and mailroom guy belong to @burnsoslow and Liam's secretary belongs to @ao719

Drake stepped out of the truck in a furor, cursing under his breath, to check on his damages. The front driver tire had fallen into a deep ditch, and it was evident by the thick mud it sunk into that it would be next to impossible to get unstuck without some assistance.

He shook his head, gritted his teeth, and the veins in his neck enlarged and throbbed. As he knelt down to assess the damages further, Nik hopped out of the truck and stood over Drake. With one glance, Nikolas clutched his belly and let out a loud continuous cackle that soon sent a storm of hot blood that seemed to collect in Drake's crimson-colored face.

And the laughter just got louder and louder.

And the laughter didn't stop.

In Drake's head, it sounded like a thousand Niks laughing simultaneously, each one with two horns, a pointy tail, and a pitchfork in hand.

His anxiety took over.

He stood up, and in an attempt to let some of his anger out, he kicked the tire with an enraged shout that echoed beyond the heavily-forested valley and sent flocks of birds in a frenzy.

The tire's air must have been over-pressurized by the drop's force and popped as soon as Drake's foot made contact. He fell back onto his ass with a heavy thud causing Nikolas to screech out in more laughter. Drake sat up into time to see the front bumper and side panel fall to the ground.

"I think your truck is broken, Uncle Drake," the prince chortled.

Drake's head whipped around and glared at the boy. "No shit! What the fuck are you even doing here? You're supposed to be on a plane to Paris."

Nikolas shrugged. "This sounded more fun."

"This isn't fun, you little asshole!" Drake jumped up and attempted to lunge at the boy, but slipped in the mud, caught his balance for a split second by grabbing onto a tree limb, then slipped again, before wiping out completely. "Son-of-a-monkey-fucker!"

Drake laid on his back, staring up at a large tree branch that hung overhead, praying to God the damn thing would just fall on him.

Nikolas walked over to him and looked down on the face of fury. "Is it time for dinner yet? I'm staaaaaaaving!"

"Nikolas," Drake groaned then took a deep breath, his back mud-soaked and achy. "How? How in the hell did you pull this off?"

Nik plopped down on Drake's stomach, causing him to grunt loudly. "Easy. I told my dad you invited me, and he let me go. He was happy you wanted to spend time with me." The Prince smirked.

Drake gritted his teeth. "And he just believed you? Fucking Liam."

Nikolas shook his head. "No. I got Neal in the mailroom to pretend he was you on the phone."

Drake lifted his head and glared. "You mean that grease trap that lives in the ambulance down by the river?"

The young prince nodded. "Yeah. Except he doesn't live by the river anymore. He moved behind the elementary school .. said it had a better view."

There was dead silence for a moment as Drake grimaced at what he just heard before jerking his hips upward. "Get the fuck off me."

Nikolas stumbled to the ground with an uproarious laugh.

Drake reached into his front pocket and pulled out his cell as he rose to his feet. He was dead set on getting someone from the palace to retrieve this little menace to Drake Walker society before he found himself tied up to a cinder block at the bottom of Lake Boogaloo. The issue with his truck could wait.

Liam and Riley would already be on the plane with Bastien in tow, so calling them right now would be useless. He pressed the contact for the palace operator, hoping to be directed to the mailroom; if Neal was part of helping get Nik into this, his shady punk ass could come pick him up in the renovated ambulance that served as his home and part-time blood mobile.

Pacing back and forth, Drake raised the phone to his ear, waiting impatiently for a ring.

"Trish! Put me through to the mailroom."

While he was distracted taking care of that, Nikolas was somewhat disappointed the trip was already over -- he had so many plans for his favorite uncle. With his arms crossed over his chest and a pout on his lips, he leaned up against the truck in a huff. "This sucks!"

The sounds of leaves crunching and brush moving around nearby caught his attention. Nik's eyes widened in fear when the black furry coat of a creature with a white stripe down its middle could be seen scampering around searching for food. The boy gasped and pinched his nose as the animal's foul scent started to become thick in the air and made his eyes water. "Uncle Drake," he called out in a nasally voice, "there's a skunk."

With a scowl, Drake lowered the phone and scrunched up his own nose. He took one glance at the animal, who didn't appear to be a threat, then glanced back at the kid. "It's probably more scared of your evil ass than you are of it. Just keep your mouth shut and don't move." The call with Neal resumed.

"But, Drake ..." Nikolas whined, trying to plead for him to listen but could tell his uncle would have none of it.

Frantic to scare the smelly animal away, the young boy searched the ground for something to throw at it: a large stick, a rock, Drake's Air Bud soundtrack. Those things might scare the skunk off, but they posed a risk of it spraying before doing so. Memories of the smell of Madeleine's office when he had one shipped to her came flooding back. It took a month for the palace to lose that scent. The prank was hilarious until it affected his comfort.

A devilish smirk took shape as an idea popped into his head. “I need my backpack.”

Nik grabbed the top of the truck bed and stepped up on the rear tire and swung one leg over, then the other. He found his backpack and quickly unzipped it, pulling out night-vision goggles and a rope, then placed them beside his feet. He proceeded to move aside a bottle of industrial-strength super glue and the glass jar holding his tarantula, Barf. Finally, at the bottom of the bag, was the taser he “borrowed” from Bastien’s desk, and he quickly took it out. Holding the electrical gun in front of his face and twisting it around menacingly, he said, “Okay, Mr. Skunk. Get ready for a shocking experience.”

“No!” Drake yelled into the phone at Neal, “You can’t borrow my binoculars. What the fuck are you gonna use those things for at a children’s museum anyway?”

“The … the …” the man scrambled for an answer, “those dinosaurs … yeah … the dinosaurs. They’re, like, really tall, ya know? I want to be able … to, uh … see their faces and stuff.”

“I call bullshit,” Drake bit back, “I won’t be an accomplice in your bone watching … dinosaur or small boy.” He resumed his pacing, wanting to get the conversation moving along. “Now listen, my sister and brother-in-law are in Texas, Lord Beaumont is on a book tour, and the guards are off duty until the royal family returns. You are going to come pick up this kid.”

“Oh! I would love to come pick him up. He’s under 10, correct?”

Drake could practically hear the creepy mirth oozing from the man's gruff voice and spat back, "I'll be with him the whole time, you oily ass, ambulance-driving … è piccola cagna!"

"What does that mean?"

Drake knitted his brows; he didn't really know, just that Nikolas called him that from time to time, and the word just kind of stuck with him. "Just ... just get here now!"

"Okay, okay! I'm coming."

The call ended. "God, I hope he meant that literally, and I didn't just get that fucko off." He slipped the phone into his pocket and turned to Nik. "Alright, listen up, assh ..." Drake stopped dead in his tracks and stood, stunned, at the first glimpse of a taser-wielding Nikolas with the gun aimed almost directly at him, with a tiny finger wrapped around the trigger.

"Wwwhatcha got there, boy?" Drake's voice sounded calm and friendly. He even managed to fake a genuine-looking smile. Inside, however, he was close to shitting his pants.

Nikolas licked his lips and closed one eye to find the perfect aim. "I'm about to fry that skunk with extreme vengeance. One ..."

"Nikolas, no! Give me the taser." Drake cautiously approached him with his hand held out.

"Two," the small but menacing voice continued the count.

"Nik, don't do it! Give it to me now!"

"Three.”

"Noooo!"

The piercing sound of Drake's shout startled the skunk, and it scurried out from the thick brush.

Nik jumped up with the taser. "Hey! Get back here, asshole." He aimed at the fleeing creature and pressed the trigger.

___________

The instant Drake's mocha-colored eyes fluttered open, an acrid mixture of what smelled like ass, sweat, rotten eggs, and his mother's hairy feet had bubbled up inside his nostrils. The aroma was slightly overshadowed by the 1200-volt prongs that had pierced just below the protruding vein in his neck, causing him to seize up and then drop like a rag doll to the dirt, and muck that littered the ground.

Close by, he could make out the discernible sound of footsteps crunching through foliage and bark and sloshing over wet earth.

Drake's cheek rested against the cold, soggy ground, even as the silhouette of the young prince crouched next to him with his little head tilted sideways and blinking owlishly. He saw the child's lips moving but blocked out the little shit until the feeling of electrocution and muscle spasms had waned.

Drake looked at the small face next to him that resembled his best friend at that age. Liam is a good man, Drake thought; he was a considerate child, too. We had fun together. We always had each other's backs and would do anything to protect the other, no matter the consequences. Liam wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’s just the best all around. So … how in the actual ass fuck did he produce the spawn of Satan?

Is there any chance he’s ... Neal’s kid?

Maybe Riley ... No, fuck, no. She wouldn’t.

The sky transformed from a brilliant blue to one streaked with gold and orange hues before Drake shook himself of the aftershocks that sparked through his body.

The metal prongs left behind two bright red spots, resembling a large spider bite and stinging like hell when he pulled them out. A thick layer of mud had dried and clung to his back, while a fresh layer adhered to his front. The numbness in his limbs had dissipated somewhat, but the pins-and-needles feeling remained. He was grateful the back spray from the skunk missed him, but the remnants it left on the nearby trees were stifling.

At this point, the only thing Drake wanted was a hot shower, a clean change of clothes, and to get stupidly drunk to the point he would pass out in bed and sleep for days. He scanned the perimeter and could make out the crystal-blue lake through a small clearing in the trees about 100 yards away.

Removing his filthy shirt and tossing it in the back of the truck, he eyed Nikolas, who was surprisingly quiet and subdued. The child was sitting on the lowered tailgate, swinging his legs, and trying to force his tarantula to eat a dead cricket. Drake rolled his eyes but was relieved the kid was staying out of his hair for now. He just needed to take a quick dip in the water, change his clothes, and hurry back in time for their ride home. Nik would be fine by himself for 10 minutes.

Drake let out a sharp tongue whistle that caught Nikolas' attention. "Listen up, kid. I'm going down to the lake real quick to clean up and change into some clean clothes." He opened the driver's side door and reached across the seat to toss his cell phone and wallet in the glove box while he continued, "You and your spider get in here and lock the door until I come back."

Nik dropped Barf in the jar and slapped the holed lid on it. "It's not a spider, Drake. It's a tarantula. A tarantula," he corrected with emphasis as he slid down from the tailgate.

"I don't care if it's your grandma's bladder control protection, get your ass in the truck, and don't move until I get back."

Stepping up in front of Drake, Nikolas sneered at an annoyed Drake towering above him. "I'm telling her you said that. And why can't I go with you? I wanna go to the lake, too," he whined.

Drake nearly doubled over in fake laughter. "There ain't no damn way I'm taking you. For one, you've ruined my entire trip. The one good thing I had in my life to look forward to, and you ruined it! And two, I don't know what the rules are about grownups, and nakedness, and with kids around, and all that shit. So the answer is no."

Drake could tell by the beady little eyes glaring back at him that Nikolas would not give up on this. He let out a heavy sigh. "Look. Do what I tell you right now, and when I come back, I'll build a campfire, and we can make up some s’mores. How's that sound?"

“Okay.”

“Really?” Drake shook his head in astonishment that he actually won that argument. Without another word, he watched as His Royal Highness happily climbed into the cab of the truck and gave a thumbs up.

Did that taser kill me? I’m dead, right? He did it. Do you smell that, Cordonia? No, not that fucking rank ass skunk. It’s the smell of victory! Drake Walker is a god! I have the power back.

Grabbing his duffle bag from the back, Drake hurriedly made his way toward the lake. He felt a little on edge, leaving Nik by himself for even just ten minutes, maybe even somewhat guilty. But he was caked in mud from head to toe, and the grime was starting to seep and burrow around certain parts of his anatomy. Nothing was worse than having monkey ass.

Within minutes, Nikolas sat on his haunches and looked out the back glass. He hadn’t wanted to show it, but he did feel a little bad for shooting Drake to the point it drew blood. Also for causing him to crash his truck. And even though it was funny as hell to watch, the second slip in the mud was kind of brutal. Perhaps a little remorse was starting to set in as the words of his Uncle Drake telling him that he ruined the one thing he was looking forward to repeated in his head. Tomorrow he would return to normal, but Nik was determined to do something nice for a change for the rest of the evening.

With the quick snap of his little fingers, an idea formed, and it would be the perfect thing to make Drake feel better. Nik unlocked the door, grabbed his spider, and jumped out of the truck. He headed to the back and rummaged through the bags of camping items laid in piles until he found what he was looking for: a lighter and lighter fluid.

“I’ll make the bestest s'mores ever for Uncle Drake. That’ll make him happy.”

Nikolas had never built a campfire before, but he’d seen it done in a movie once, and that was good enough in his mind to practically make him an expert.

Feeling clean and refreshed, Drake dried off from his dip in the lake and put fresh clothes on. Making his way back to the site, he caught a glimpse of thick, black smoke protruding above the trees and the smell of burning rubber that traveled with the approaching evening breeze.

“Nikolas,” he muttered as his heart crashed into his stomach. He raced back as fast as he could, fearing the absolute worst thing had happened to the Prince of Cordonia. “I knew I shouldn’t have left him alone. Liam and Riley are going to kill me, and I would deserve it. I just hope he’s not …” he trailed off when the site came into full view. It was worse than he imagined.

His eyes searched frantically until relief washed over him when he caught his first glimpse of Nikolas sitting under a tree, eating, and seemingly unconcerned by the inferno that had lit up the dusky sky.

Drake rushed over to him and lifted him into his arms and held onto him tightly. “Are you okay, buddy?”

Nikolas chuckled, “I’m fine, Uncle Drake.”

He lowered him back on the ground and started patting him down, looking for burns or injuries.

Drake let out a sigh of relief. “How? How did this …” he turned to look at the fire, then raised his voice. “Wait! You caught my goddamn truck on fire?”

Nik followed his uncle's gaped-mouth stare to the truck engulfed in flames, then screwed up his face. "Yeah ... about that. I think I used too much of that lighter fluid stuff building a campfire. But I made you something." He reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out a s'more, licked the melted chocolate off the side, then proudly held it up to Drake. "The marshmallow is exactly the way you like it, too: completely charred."

Drake dropped his head into his palms and repeated a slew of curse words and sounds that were not even human. As badly as he wanted to destroy everything around him at that moment, to release a fit of anger the likes of which no one had ever seen in him before, it appeared Nikolas had beat him to it: There was nothing left around there to destroy.

He dropped his arms to his sides in defeat and looked to the heavens before surmising, “This is my punishment, isn’t it? I stole that taser from the guard as a kid and let Liam take the blame for it. I insisted Liam come with me in that boat during a storm, and he nearly drowned when it overturned. He got lost in the woods on my time. I pushed him too hard once during maze tag. I got stuck in that laundry chute all night, and Constantine took hide-and-seek away from him. This …” he motioned to Nikolas, who was smiling back at him with a big cheesy grin, “this is how he got me back for all of it. Well, you win, Liam! You win! I hope you are having one hell of a time in Paris, schmoozing and laughing your ass off, because I have nothing left in this world but this … hairy, lint-filled s’more with your son’s saliva all over it … and it’s not even toasted right!”

“I didn’t make it right?” Nikolas asked thoughtfully. “Hang on. I can make you another one.” He bent down, pulled out a marshmallow from the bag and rammed a mud-covered stick entirely through its center. Drake watched as Nik skipped over and held it next to the flames shooting out the window of his truck.

For several seconds, Drake contemplated whether he should just leave the child there and let nature take its course. Glaring back to the star-filled sky, he groaned, “You owe me big for this.”

Tugging Nik by his jacket hood to pull him away from the hot blaze, he startled the boy who then whipped around with the burning marshmallow and accidentally got it stuck to Drake’s shirt. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

Ten minutes passed, and the two were on the dirt road heading back to the highway’s main stretch. After patting out the fire on his shirt, Drake planned to call the fire department to report the inferno taking place in the woods. He laughed wryly when he realized the phone was still in the glove box of his burning vehicle. And it appeared Neal’s skank ass wasn’t coming after all, so the pair would have to flag down someone and hope they actually stopped. Thankfully, Nikolas had his backpack on, and Drake used the night vision goggles to direct his way along the darkened path.

Hand in hand and approaching the main thoroughfare, Nik’s legs were starting to tire, and his droopy eyes looked up. “Uncle Drake, will you carry me?”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Pleeeeeeease,” Nikolas begged in a high-pitched squeal that grated Drake’s teeth.

Drake stopped with a huff and crouched down. “Get the fuck on my back,” he commanded, “you’ve burned and shot the front part of me, so your ass is gonna have to hold onto the back. And I swear to God, Nik, if you so much as drool on me, you can sleep in the woods with the wolves and bears and poodles. Understood?”

With a tired nod, Nik wrapped his little arms around Drake’s neck and held on. As they proceeded ahead, the prince asked, “Would you tell me a bedtime story?”

Drake grunted, “You wanna bedtime story? I’ll tell you a bedtime story. It’s an ol’ Bianca Walker original that she used to tell me every night called ‘Go the fuck to sleep!’ The end.”

Nikolas sleepily chuckled. “I already have that book, Uncle Drake. My dad’s secretary, Charlotte, gave it to me and told me to put it in my room. She said if my mom or dad found it, just to tell them you gave it to me.”

“Of course she did,” Drake scoffed, thinking about the other person who found pure delight in annoying him.

Through the night-vision goggles, the headlights of a random car could be seen driving by, and Drake let out a relieved breath, knowing they were so close.

The night couldn’t end that easily, though. A sudden sense of unease enveloped Drake, telling him that everything was not as it seemed. His steps quickened, and his heart pounded away in his chest.

Feeling like he was being followed, he turned on his heels, then widened his eyes.

A large brown bear let out a roar that echoed past them.

Drake shrugged his shoulders and muttered, “Yep. That’s about right.”

The survival training he’d learned from his Campers Anonymous group about bear encounters kicked in, and he completely stilled his body. That was until he heard, “BEEEEAAAR!” screamed over his shoulder and felt Nik’s body drop to the ground.

“Don’t move, Nikolas,” Drake ordered through a whisper.

It was too late; he was gone and headed toward the road.

Drake whirled around to see the bear on its hind legs, drumming its chest and licking its lips. “Shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Wait for me, Nik!” He took off running.

---------

Alyssa was headed back to Cordonia earlier in the night than she expected. With her hands firmly gripped on the steering wheel, she complained to her friend through the car's Bluetooth, “The guy showed up one hour late to our meeting spot, then drove through a McDonalds, asked if I wanted anything, proceeded to park behind a church and tell me he has condoms before the cops picked him up on a warrant! Worst. Date. Ever.”

Driving around a bend in the road, Alyssa slammed on the brakes when her headlights reflected off a small child darting into the road. As her tires screeched, she let out a deafening scream when a man came out of nowhere, followed immediately by a bear. The frantic man shoved the kid out of the way.

Though the brake pedal was pressed to the floor, the car collided with Drake, and his body flew onto the hood before falling feebly to the road.

The bear sniffed at Drake and batted him around a couple of times before taking off into the woods.

When Alyssa was sure it was safe to do so, she and a crying Nik both crouched around a moaning Drake.

_________

The following morning, Drake's eyes fluttered open. His vision was a little fuzzy, but he could make out a doctor hovering over him and a worried Liam standing with Nikolas at the foot of his bed. He tried to speak, wanting to know what happened, but was unable to open his mouth.

"Don't try to speak, Mr. Walker. Your jaw was wired shut to protect the small fracture you suffered from the car accident. You also broke both legs and sprained your neck. You have a long recovery ahead of you, but shouldn't need to spend any more time in the hospital. You’re a very lucky man. Now if you’ll excuse me, I will get the discharge papers and check to see if the ambulance transporting you to the palace has arrived. His Majesty has offered to allow you to recover in his home."

Drake took one look at a gleeful, bouncing Nikolas and shook his head as best as he could with a neck brace on and emphatically mumbled his indiscernible objections.

Liam chuckled, "Quit being so modest, Drake. I assure you it’s no trouble at all. Besides, it's the least I could do after you saved my son's life. And Nik here even offered to let you stay in his room to keep you company."

Nik nodded with a grin. “Yep. For the next eight to 12 weeks, it's just me and my Uncle Drake hanging out all day and night.”

Drake tried to escape from his bed but couldn’t move without use of his legs.

Liam walked around to the side of the bed and put his hand on Drake’s shoulder. “Look at you trying to protest. You never were one to accept charity. I told you, I’m more than happy to help. You deserve this and more.”

A knock at the door diverted their attention and a head popped in. “I’m here to transport Mr. Walker back to the palace, Your Majesty.”

“Perfect! And on such short notice too. So glad my secretary could arrange this ride,” Liam exclaimed. He glanced down at his injured friend in the bed and smiled. “You ready to go home, my friend?”

No! No! That’s fucking, Neal. He doesn’t even have a real ambulance. I’m not going. Somebody, anybody, heeeelp!

#Happy Birthday Anitah #2 weeks later #hahahahah #better late than never #drake walker #king liam #little shit #I'm so sorry this is ridiculous

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yamithediaperdork · 4 years

Text

Sitters 4 hire (Yu-gi-oh)

The sun was just setting in domino city and Yugi Muto, King of games, was all along at the turtle game shop. His grandfather had gone off on a senior's cruise since the shop had come into some money as of later (being the official shop of the king of games DID have it's PR perks) And Joey and Tristen had gone camping for the week. They had of coursed offered to let Yugi come along but since the last time he'd gone with them he'd been chased by a bear, sprayed by a skunk and had gotten a rash on his butt from squatting among poison ivy, he turned them down. Mai was working on the cruise, and Duke was taking advantage of the fact Tristen was out of town to try and woe Serenity. even Anzu was MIA in a way, she had a big competition coming up and was putting in extra hours at the studio and the gym to make sure she was at her best. Now Yugi while disappointed not to have any of his friends to hang out with during the day (since it was summer break) He was maybe slightly OK with them not being around as he'd been making use of a certain service in town. It wasn't the kinda of service that some of the more lewd type might of made use of though. Frankly, if any of his friends ever found out what he was doing the little king of games would die of embarrassment. For it was a babysitting service that he'd been making use of, after working out a deal with the nice ladies who ran it. Because Yugi Muto, the king of games, was a diaper wearing little.

Hina was a 25 year old black haired bombshell, and she was the one who ran the service (Sitters 4 hire) and had met with Yugi when he'd first tried to set up a semi deal during spring break. He'd been adorable with how blushy he got and the stammer that started up, but she'd had to go though everything he was expecting, and of course to make sure he knew there would be no naughtiness so to speak. They had met at the headquarters for sitter's inc, a surprisingly boom business that employed 48 sitters currently. the way the service worked was that they could train you or you could come in and just take a test to prove you could handle the job, then you were free to freelance though most jobs in the city now came though them, and they would select the babysitter who best suited what the parents wanted for a job. She and Yugi had been in her office, giving the poor guy some privacy though lord knows he wasn't the first little guy who had asked for this sorta thing. "So, If I understand you right.. you wish to be treated like a toddler, but one who still needs his big bulky diapers and prefers baby bottles over sippy cups. correct?" She asked. "I..uh..Yes." Yugi said, squirming big time. "and any attempts at potty training?" She asked, typing away n her computer. "N-No." "and will you just be going tinkle, or boom boom as well?" She asked, smirking as Yugi blushed big time and looked like he wanted to curl up in a ball. "I..Using my diaper for everything." Yugi finally managed to say. "Alright. and you understand that this is NOT a sexual service, so any sort of hanky panky you might expect, not happening, though if you wish to er.. you know..yourself.. we ask you wait till our sitter leaves." "U-Understood!" Yugi squeaked out. "alrighty then Little Yugi. I think we can give you all the TLC you need. one last thing though, do you prefer a Male sitter or a female one? and of course. you can count on us to keep it under wraps the bigggg tough King of games is just a widdle guy." Hina giggled and winked at Yugi. "G-Girls only please."

And with that Yugi was a client, though getting the freedom to use the service had proven trickier then he thought. Gramps would sleep though almost anything but it was more Joey's annoying habit of showing up unannounced. add in Anzu having called once while he was using it and feeling reallly weird talking to his sorta maybe kinda girlfriend while he was in the middle of a diaper change and well.. He'd only made use of the service three times and outside of distractions like Joey and Anzu, or gramps snoring, he'd been in love with it. Dialing the special services number he'd been given Yugi shifted from foot to foot, looking at his stash of little guy supplies he had out on his bed. it was a male voice who answered, and Yugi almost hung up the phone right then and there, But he had gone SO long being a stupid big boy that he swallowed the urge. "Sitters 4 hire, special service line, how may I help you?" Came the amused voice over the line. "I..Uh..See.." Yugi squeaked. "Take your time little guy." "T-This is Uh.. Account number 45 I.. I um.. have a pre-paid account and er-" Yugi said, closing his eyes. god, this was ALWAYS the hardest part! "Oh Little Yugi~ I see. Is our widdle guy in need of a babysitter again?" if Yugi had been blushing bad before, hearing his name used took it to the next level. "Y-Yes please." "Alrighty little guy. do you wanna set a bed time or leave it up for the babysitter?" Yugi looked at the clock, it was just just going on 7:30 pm. "H-How soon can you er..have a sitter..over here?" Yugi asked. "Hmm..Oh! I have some one right in your area at the moment, and she's cleared for working with cuties like you. I can have her there in 5-10 minutes tops." "T-Then um.,. a 9 pm sharp bed time please and thank you." Yugi said. "Of course little guy. I should warn you though, our girl I'm sending over can be somewhat strict, so a certain little guy better have his huggies on." Teased the operator. "I..I will." "Good boy~ Have fun little guy, and thank you for using Sitters 4 hire."

Rebecca Hawkins had just finished putting a cute little 23 year old sissy baby down to ed for the night, and was in the parking lot of the apartment building the Lil sissy lived in when she got a text from work. Of course she didn't actually need the money she was making doing this job, but well, she enjoyed the power rush she got since she was a strictly special services only sitter. Add into it that as a rule of thumb most of the teen and adult babies she looked after tended to be wayyy more well behaved then actual babies and toddlers and she was in heaven. She had been planning on calling it a day, and honestly could of turned down the job, but once she saw the address her interest peaked. 'No way..my darling Yugi is a..' She thought and a BIG grin filled her face. If she was being honest, the young genius had mostly gotten into the doming little babies scene after meeting Yugi..there was just something about the little guy that screamed 'DIAPER ME!' and now, she knew why. She accepted the job and got the info folder, sent to her, which confirmed it WAS Yugi and he was just a big toddler, and she felt herself almost melting as she gushed over how cute and awesome this was gonna be.

Yugi had been a good boy like he was told to be and was now was dressed in one of his dark magician diapers, which was bulky enough to give the boy a waddle to his step.he hadn't just left it at that though, and as such was in a pair of purple socks that had the dark magician girl on the sides, doing her trademark pose. Moving up from there He was sporting a purple (if you couldn't tell it was the little guys favorite color) diaper shirt, with the diaper itself peeking out around the leg holes. and of course the shirt had a picture of the little guys most favorite monster, The dark magician on it. He'd been setting up a little area in the living room for him and his sitter to play, a nice soft baby blanket on the floor and some plushie and rattles. and of course he had a couple of bottle of milk chilling in the fridge (he wasn't that fond of juice when toddler mode, go figure) and jumped a little when the doorbell rang. Waddling his way over to the door he took a deep breath and opened it, then turned crimson as Rebecca was standing there smirking. "R-R-Re-" He stammered, trying desperately to think of a excuse, never once connecting the slight possibly that THIS was his sitter. "Hiii little guy. Somebody was a good widdle boy and got dressed for me I see~" She said, winking and giving him a head pat. Yugi just stood there, jaw dropping as she strolled past him into the room.

Rebecca was chuckling to herself, the look on Yugi's face really had been just too cute. She took in his set up and nodded in approval before turning to look at him, he was STILL by the door, and seemed frozen. "Little Yugi, unless you want the whole block to see you in all your big baby glory, you might wanna shut the door." She teased. Yugi yelped and nodded, slamming the door fast and waddled over to her. "Now I know this might be a little be weird for you, since we know each other and all, but I promise that I won't tell anyone about what a widdle diaper boy you are~" Rebecca promised, and then gave Yugi's bum a few pats. the effect was instant and adorable, as the little guy spread his legs and she almost swore his eyes glazed over. "now then, since we have a little while before somebody needs to go night night, does widdle Yugi wanna play with his toys and watch some cartoons?" She asked. Yugi dumbly nodded his head and waddled over to the blanket, plopping down and picking up a stuffie of the dark magician and cuddling it to his chest. '..He's really pushing the no pictures rule.' She thought with a sweat drop, then moved over to the couch to turn on the TV for the little guy.

After the intonation humiliation worn off, Yugi had to admit it was kinda fun having someone who knew him so well babysitting him. She knew to put it on little dueler's for him, and even sat down on the blanket with him after a bit, playing as the Dark magician girl and acting out the plot, with them fighting a Summoned skull who just really needed hugs. He got so into it he actually forgot he was wearing his diapies till she paused the game to stick a finger in the leg band of his onesie and diaper. "oh wow! still dry! is this a new record for you?" She asked and winked. Yugi blushed bad at that, but also nodded his head, though he could feel a bit of a need building up. only problem was it was a backdoor need so to speak and he wasn't sure he wanted to do THAT in front of her. "well, it's almost time for beddy byes, I think I'll feed you a nice big ba-ba first though so you can make a bigggg wet diapie for auntie Rebecca to change before she leaves." She giggled. "T-There's ba-ba's ready in the fridge auntie." Yugi said, and squirmed like crazy as she got up and kissed his forehead. "Good boy!"

Rebecca wasn't stupid, and had noticed Yugi squirming as well as heard the tummy gurgles. Maybe he thought he was being all sly and she could see why he might be embarrassed to make presents for her, but as a responsible baby sitter she couldn't let her charge hold it in and get a owie tummy, or worse, unleash it after she had left. Truthfully changing dirty diapers wasn't one of the highlights of her job, and normally with her usual client list she could get away with leaving them smelly. It again helped most of them where naughty little guys who wanted a lot of teasing and shaming. But with Yugi, he was clearly just a big baby, and she willing to put in some free overtime if that's what it took. Selecting a bottle of milk from the fridge, she popped it in the microwave to warm it up, then turned to watch Yugi who was on his knees now. he had the DM stuffie launching wooden building block at a stuffie of the blue eyes even as he was squirming and wiggling about, clearly a toddler who had to go potty. 'I wonder if he's gonna fess up?' She thought, though as the microwave beeped a loud poot escaped Yugi's bottom. getting the ba-ba out and teasing it on her wrist, she wasn't surprised to see Yugi hiding his face in his stuffie as she came back over. "heh, relax Yugi. everyone farts." She said and got on the couch, then patted her lap. "I..uh..I..Otay." Yugi squeaked and crawled over, getting set in her lap and closing his eyes as she guided the nipple of the ba-ba into his mouth. "Drink up so you can grow up to be big and strong~" She coo'ed.

Yugi's tummy was churning big time and he knew any second now he was going to lose the battle and fudge his huggies. it wasn't even a question of making it to the potty anymore, he doubted he'd be able to move much without losing the battle. his only goal at THIS point was to hold it in till the session ended and Rebecca left, not knowing that she had already planned to stay and see it though. the warm milk tasted so good though, and was having it's normal effect of making him super sleepy. It was while all sleepy that he decided letting out a bit of pressure couldn't hurt and went to let out a small fart or two. Rebecca had already said everyone farts right? the small small turned into one big one, with three others following and Yugi's eyes flew open as he realized he'd released the flood gates so to speak. a super gross sounding fart, though muffled by the padding and outfit and Rebecca's poor lap, filled the room and then it was game over. the back of the diaper filled up rapidly as his tiny bladder soaked the front and Yugi was a dark crimson as he looked up at Rebecca who just wrinkled her nose a little, ut smiled and kept the bottle in place. "whew, Smells like somebody really wanted to make a super big present for me!" Yugi, mouth filled with a rubber nipple and diaper full of waste, did a bare nod.

One thing Rebecca hadn't counted on when trying to get Yugi to go uh-oh, was just how TOXIC the little guy was going to be. he was by far the biggest stinker and she made a mental note to hook him up with some pills to cut down on the smell. Still the little guy was clearly mortified he'd lost control, which was funny since he'd likely of been delighted to make presents. her lap was slightly burning from the heat and force of which Yugi had unleashed his uh-oh, and the smell again, was burning her nose. Still, she let him finish his ba-ba before standing him up and smirked as his diaper drooped big time. "oh my, when was the last time widdle Yugi had a poopie?" She asked, and patted his mush tush and cupped the butt. "A-Ah! I..I uh..Fhree day ago." Yugi lisped. "well I think somebody needs a auntie to come by and help keep him regular, don't you?" "I..uh..I dis dun have 'nuff on me's account ta-" Yugi started to say and Rebecca smirked. "Don't worry, I'll work off the clock. though I'll have to keep my freebies to a minimum so we don't get in trouble." he said and winked. She tugged the diaper boy towards his room, gushing at how he had to cowboy walk and spotted his changing pad, with wipes and everything ready to go. "After auntie gets you in a clean diapie, it's bed time little man. I hope you had fun." She said, and guiding him over, kissed his cheek before gently setting him down on the mat. "I..I did. Fank's auntie Rebecca." Yugi coo'ed and popped his paci in his mouth. "You're VERY welcome Yugi." She coo'ed back and then started to open the diaper. 'Maybe I'll get lucky and it won't be so.. bad.. Oh god!' Tears filled the blond's eyes, not out of sadness or fear, but just the smell was making her eyes water. Yeah, Having Yugi as her new little guy was going to be fun and all, but Rebecca was totally gonna have to have him go more often to avoid the nightmare before her. Still it would be a labor of love, and she couldn't see ANZU being willing to do this. 'heh, all that time trying to show her up, and all I needed to do was wipe his butt.' Rebecca thought, though she wondered if maybe the boys fumes were making her lightheaded. Yugi for his part drifted off to sleep 30 or 40 seconds after she started, which didn't make the change any easier. "Kiddo..your lucky your cute." She muttered under her breath. with Yugi changed and redressed, she tucked him into his bed, which had a toddler rail and gave him one last kiss goodnight, before taking off.

The end

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ohdearhiddles · 4 years

Text

TITLE: Angel of Death

CHAPTER: 8/? (Chapter Masterlist)

WORD COUNT: 6482

AUTHOR NOTES: once again running a little late, some stuff came up, but here we are with the next chapter! i deeply apologize if my updates become even more sporadic, but classes do start up again next week and i start work again, but i will try my absolute hardest to update when i get some free time! x (AO3 Link)

TAGLIST: @inumorph @literally-anythin @falling-solar-system

Let me know if you would like to be tagged in anything :) x

Thor stood in the corner of the room, glowering in your direction as if you were the biggest threat in the universe. His arms were crossed over his chest as he followed your every movement. Loki seemed oblivious to the scorching stare of his brother, or perhaps he had just grown so used to it that he didn’t feel the need to be bothered.

Now, when you thought about it, Loki didn’t speak much about Thor. In fact, the couple times he had brought him up, there weren’t many things said about him other than how Odin favored him over the God of Mischief.

You were standing by the couch, arm held gingerly in Loki’s hands as he traced the forming bruise. You wondered if he was trying to coax it into disappearance with how much attention he was giving to the mark, but figured that you shouldn’t question his actions at the moment. After all, he had just saved you from being taken into whatever form of body-crushing custody Thor was attempting. The God of Thunder seemed relatively unbothered by his harsh actions towards you, and he definitely no longer cared for the door he had almost broken upon impact.

“We must take her to Stark,” Thor bellowed, and you watched as Loki’s gentle movements ceased. “I may have given in to whatever tactics you are playing, brother, but I will not allow her to roam freely. Her days of freedom are over.”

The words stung, but at the same time, you couldn’t find a reason to care. It’s not as though you were free in the first place; you had no job to get back to, no documents to help you leave town, and you most certainly didn’t have anyone to turn to besides the god sitting beside you. If freedom was what you craved, then it surely was not the freedom you had supposedly had these past few weeks.

“And you suppose that Stark will welcome her with open arms?” Loki asked, his voice deceivingly calm. He didn’t look up, but you could already imagine the disapproval on his face at the suggestion.

“He may,” Thor replied. “If you present your case correctly.”

His case? If you hadn’t felt like a strange experiment before, you kind of felt like one now. Although they were just words, “a case” typically meant charts, arguments, evidence, and a lot of people poking ideas with sticks until it finally seemed fitting. However, you felt as though your case would be filled with more arguing and poking with needles than anything else. How unsettling.

“I take that you will not help me,” the God of Mischief spoke confidently. It wasn’t a question by any means because both of you already knew the answer.

“I have no intention on helping you harbor a criminal.”

Right, you thought, jaw clenching as you remembered that, according to Thor, you were nothing more than a wanted mortal with a list of deceased men floating above your head. Granted, if Loki weren’t here, you probably would have allowed it all to happen. You would have gladly accepted defeat and death in exchange for some peace of mind.

“I also take that you will not allow her to stay here,” Loki’s voice seemed to drop in pitch as he finally looked up to look at the other god opposite the room.

The air was tense; it had been since the moment your apartment was technically broken into by a god. It’s not like it was the first time a god had randomly showed up in your home, but at least Loki had the decency to use the key instead of body slamming his way through the only door separating you from whatever creeps might lurk the halls in the middle of the night.

“You’d be correct in assuming that,” Thor responded, unbothered by the shift in Loki’s voice.

Loki exhaled deeply, his fingers pulling gently at the sleeve of your top to hide the exposed bruise that had finished forming beneath the surface of your skin. He seemed to tense as Thor approached the sofa where you two sat, and you couldn’t deny that this whole protective thing that Loki seemed to be exercising was an attractive quality. It was nice to know that he cared in action and not just in words.

When the other god came to a halt, his shadow hovering over you like a storm cloud threatening to pour at any given second, you found your heart racing from slight fear. The pain in your arm seemed to return just at the sight of him, remembering quickly the injury he had inflicted without so much as flexing a muscle. Your undeniable fragile existence among the two gods in the room was more than just a little bit unnerving.

You swallowed thickly as the impenetrable silence seemed to eat away at your skin. Loki soon stood to his feet, eyes glaring in Thor’s direction as he pulled your hand with him to hide your silhouette behind the shelter of his body. The silence carried on for longer than you would have liked, the brothers speaking in silent tongues as they stared at one another. After another moment, Loki released your hand and turned his back on the God of Thunder.

“It’s best to pack some of your things,” he guarded your body as he moved with you, blocking Thor’s gaze from reaching you. "Seeing as though my brother here does not intend for us to return soon.”

Loki followed as you walked to your room, his steps close behind yours. A second set of footsteps could be heard while you walked, a sure sign that Thor had every intention of not allowing either of you out of his sight. When you entered the room, you turned quickly to see Loki seemingly prying Thor’s fingers off the door in order to close it. You couldn’t see their mouths from your position, but you heard one of them grunt in disapproval as the door slammed shut.

“Oh, please,” Loki’s voice rang throughout the room. “I do not plan on forcing her to run away.”

The next few minutes were filled with silence as the God of Mischief took a similar stance that his brother had before. His arms were crossed over his chest as his back leaned against the wooden material of the door. He stood still, watching as you made your way drawer to drawer, placing only the essentials into a small duffel bag you had pulled out from the dusty surface below your bed.

“Loki,” you began to say, tossing a t-shirt into the almost full bag. Loki’s eyes flitted to yours quickly, searching for any indication for something being amiss. “They’re going to throw me in prison, you know that right?”

“You can’t be too sure with this group,” he responded. “They have a tendency of having differential opinions.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve said it before I believe,” Loki sighed, his gaze cast downward as he pushed himself off of the door. “I am not welcome there.”

“More welcome than me, that’s for sure,” you mumbled, zipping up the duffle bag before sitting beside it, shoulders slumping in defeat. The god’s footsteps were barely audible, but you could hear as he seemed to approached you slowly.

“When they see that you pose no real threat, they will have no other choice than to release you,” he reassured, but it did quite the opposite.

If you were to be released, would that not mean that you would still have to stand trial for murdering men? Or would they figure that it could not have possibly been you? Either way, you felt ruined.

You felt the bed dip beside you as you kept your eyes trained to the floor. A lingering feeling that had become more and more prominent over the last couple weeks seemed to seep through your skin and flow through your veins. It was a rather foreign feeling even though you recognized it. The lights in your room seemed to dim as you allowed your thoughts to consume you entirely. Every possible outcome for the day seemed to bombard your mind, a thorough battle at play within your head.

Hot tears brimmed your eyes as you imagined being dragged away from your home, locked away until the end of time. After a moment of allowing yourself to dwell on the unfortunate circumstances, you inhaled deeply, straightening your back. Your eyes were shut as you urged the tears to go away, wishing them into oblivion.

Loki made no extravagant movements to attempt to soothe your worries; instead, you felt the softest of touches as his fingers intertwined with yours. The touch calmed you slightly, and when you opened your eyes to look at him, you expected the trickster to be looking directly at you. However, he seemed distracted. His eyes were darting back and forth from the lampshades to you, narrowing in scrutiny as if he, of all people, were confused by your emotions.

“What is it?” You questioned, finding yourself worried over his unusual behavior. At your words, he squeezed your hand lightly.

“Nothing, darling,” he breathed, standing from his spot beside you. Loki’s eyes bore into yours, a strange emotion playing within them, as he tugged on your hand to get you to stand with him. “We must hurry before Thor breaks another one of your doors.”

The god grabbed the duffle bag with his free hand before pulling you with him towards the door. As you stepped into the hallway, you allowed yourself to take a glance back, wondering if you would be back anytime in the near future or if you would just have to live with the fact that you might never see the quaint apartment ever again. Thor seemed to have never stopped glaring as the two of you stepped out of the bedroom. His back straightened at the sight of you, jaw clenching in his attempt to further intimidate you.

Jokes on you, you mentally retorted to his glare. You’ve already scared me to full max. Be lucky I’m not a skunk - I bet you haven’t even been sprayed by one yet.

***

Loki had insisted on you riding in a taxi with him to Stark Tower. You were thinking of objecting at first, but once Thor expressed his distaste for such modes of transportation, you were more than happy to oblige. The ride was relatively quiet for the first couple of minutes, but the silence was soon filled with the familiar bustle of cars and nightlife.

It felt as though an eternity had passed, sitting in silent conversation with the God of Mischief, before you had arrived at your destination. Thor was nowhere in sight, and you were thankful for his absence even if he was bound to show up sooner rather than later. You followed Loki into the tall building and tried to ignore the skeptical stares of the security in the lobby. They were most likely wondering why you were walking in with, if what Loki said was true, a god that they weren’t ashamed to publicly dislike.

Loki, as always, seemed completely unbothered by the stares. But as you approached the elevator, you noticed his shoulders slouch in the most unnoticeable way. It was like watching a weight lift off his shoulders once the two of you were out of the knowing eyes of everyone else. As terrible as the timing was, you felt a bit relieved that he was able to feel relaxed enough to let down one of his invisible guards around you.

When the elevator doors shut behind you, Loki finally turned to you. “They should all be here. Thor would have made sure of it.”

“All?” You questioned, wondering if he really meant all the Avengers.

“Yes, all. Even the young one.”

“The young one?” Loki seemed to realize his words before sighing.

“You’ll see.”

The conversation ended right then and there, and you opted to not press further. If Loki said that you would find out, then surely, you would find out. That is, you mentally noted. If they don’t kill me on sight.

Apparently, when Loki had said that they would all be there - he meant it. The elevator door seemed to have been the only barrier between you and the not-so-appealing room filled with people who looked like they already wanted to murder you. In the center of them all, Thor stood with his arms still crossed over his chest. All eyes were on you and Loki as you entered the room. Hesitant steps were all you could take while you followed Loki closer and closer to what felt like was your doom.

“Ah, that’s far enough,” one of them spoke. When he stood, his hand raised in the air, you could clearly see the playboy billionaire you had only ever seen on television, or soaring a thousand feet in the air. “Loki, a word?”

Tony Stark’s fingers motioned the god forward as a group of men, that you weren’t even aware had existed in the room, surrounded you. Each of their gruff faces held a look of contempt as they crowded around you like children around an ice cream truck. Except you weren’t being screamed at in joy.

You stood on your tip toes, attempting to look past the shoulders of a couple of the men. One of them glanced down at you, raising an eyebrow before scooting ever so closer to close the gap. Sighing, you fell back onto the heels of your feet, pretending that you weren’t straining to here the conversation happening less than 20 feet away.

Their voices were hushed, but even in the quiet, you could hear the disapproval in many of their tones. From behind you, the elevator dinged. There was brief rustling before a loud boyish voice rang throughout the room.

“Sorry, Mr. Stark.” More rustling, and between the legs of your guards, you could make out the baggy jeans of what was probably a teenager. “I know you said it was an emergency, but Aunt May was making - woah, what’s up with the body guards?”

“Kid, get over here.”

“Right, sorry.”

Ah, so that must be the young one that Loki had mentioned.

Seeing as though you had never been unfortunate enough to be in harms way, you had never met any of the Avengers before. So, even if you tried to figure out who’s voices belonged to who, you couldn’t say for certain if you were correct. The only voices you knew were Tony Starks, Loki’s, and Thor’s.

“Bring her over here,” Tony’s voice spoke clearly through the muttering and hushed conversations. The men surrounding you made way for your movement, dispersing just enough for you to see where you were going. You kept your head down until your shoes stepped onto a lush carpet that laid on the floor by the couches in the center of the room.

Looking up, you were met with curious stares of all the heroes you had only ever seen through a tv screen. Your heart began to beat rapidly in your chest as they seemed to analyze you from head to toe. The only person who did not seem to be analyzing your every movement was a young man that could not have been older than 18. After taking short glances at everyone in the room, you noticed Loki beginning to take steps towards you, his jaw clenched in irritation.

“She doesn’t look that threatening,” a voice rang, and you dragged your eyes from the approaching god to a rather reserved looking gentleman.

“Appearances don’t matter,” a red-haired woman said, one of her eyebrows arched in scrutiny as she eyed you. “What matters is that she’s killed at least 10 men, not to mention the police have a warrant out for her arrest. Bringing her here was probably the last thing either of you should have thought to do.”

You watched as Tony walked slowly towards you. He narrowed his eyes, tilting his head from side to side. It was almost as if he was trying to best angle to hate you from. When he was mere steps away, he diverted his gaze and walked to a nearby table adjoined to the wall. Glasses clattered out of your view, and you noticed how everyone seemed to settle back into their seats.

“Well, Reindeer Games seems to believe that you deserve special treatment,” Tony spoke, his footsteps approaching from the side. Reindeer Games? Is that Loki? He appeared seconds later with a second glass in his hand, handing it to you. “What do you think?”

He shook the glass a bit, indicating that he wanted you to take it quickly. Grabbing it, you swallowed thickly, unsure of how to answer. Was it a trick question?

“Uh, I,” you stuttered out. “Well, I don’t,” you continued to sputter out words, attempting to find an appropriate answer. How were you supposed to convince these people of your innocence when you couldn’t even convince yourself? “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Tony asked, eyebrows furrowing as he looked at you.

“Stark,” Loki pressed, trying to alleviate any of the tension you felt.

“What? Why should we stick our necks out for someone who doesn’t want our help?” Tony asked, a speculative glare flickering between you and the god standing nearby. "So tell me, kid, because I won't ask again. Why should we even consider treating you any different than a criminal?"

You glanced at Loki as he turned to look at you, and it was in that moment that you realized that you were on your own in providing an answer. All eyes were on you as they waited for an answer that was meant to please them as well as provide adequate reasoning for your persistent belief that you deserved better than becoming a lab rat on a psychopath's table. Swallowing your fear, you straightened your shoulders.

No pressure, you reminded yourself. It's only your whole existence on the line here.

"I might not deserve it," you breathed, and it wasn't hard to see that most of them were surprised to hear you actually sound somewhat confident in your voice. Loki, though, looked almost offended by your words. "You're right, I'm behind quite a few deaths, but I swear to you it wasn't intentional. When I found out, I hid, and while that was a terrible thing to do, I can't say I wouldn't have done it again."

Your eyes darted back and forth between Loki and Tony, looking for any acknowledgment to your words. "I didn't know how I did it, and I still can't find a reasonable explanation. If you find nothing, and you see me as a threat still, I will gladly accept any form of punishment you have for me."

Your name played at Loki's lips as he attempted to walk closer to you. The bodyguards surrounding you, though, didn't allow him to move more than a couple steps. They glared at him, looking as if they were ready to pounce if he were to try anything, and in return, Loki glared back with as much distaste.

Tony finished his drink and walked towards you. A couple seconds later, you realized he wasn't walking towards you but past you. You felt your heart drop as the sound of the elevator opening resonated within the room. The body guards dispersed, and you had to practically force yourself not to cry.

"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to follow me?" You turned on your heel, looking on in disbelief that he might have actually been speaking to you. Opening your mouth to speak, you felt a rush of uncertainty.

Seconds passed before you finally managed to nod, following quickly; however, before you could step foot into the elevator, Tony held his hand up. “The drink. Leave it here.”

Honestly, you had forgotten about the drink in your hand before he had brought it up. It was a tad amazing that you hadn’t dropped it in the rush of emotions you had felt, but one less mess to deal with was always an upside.

You looked around, attempting to find a suitable place to put the glass down. When you didn’t find one close enough, you opted to put it on the bookcase. You looked over to see Tony roll his eyes as his impatience seemed to take hold. “Any day now would be nice.”

Loki once again attempted to get to your side, but Tony was already closing the elevator door, a grin on his face. After the door shut, he turned to you, a contemplative look on his face.

“So, you have no idea how you kill people?” He asked after a long moment of silence. The words still made you wince when they were so straightforwardly spoken, especially by someone you held in high esteem.

“Uh, I,” you started to say.

“This whole ‘uh’ and ‘um’ thing has got to stop. Hearing it makes my brain want to short circuit. Not enough syllables for my mind to process it or something like that,” he spoke over you, grumbling afterwards about how he can’t believe he’s trying to help a broken record like you. Or something like that.

You shut your mouth immediately, not wanting to irritate him any further. This was not what you had expected, obviously, but you weren’t going to complain about it either. At least he wasn’t trying to kill you, or maybe he was more worried about you trying to kill him. Which you definitely were not trying to do.

The elevator door opened after an eternity, and you found yourself in awe of what was in front of you. It looked like a high tech lab, and from what you could gather about the Avengers, it was probably exactly that.

Tony walked slowly, being somewhat kind enough, or lazy enough, to allow your gaze to linger on the various computers, blueprints, holograms, etc. You weren’t sure where you were being led, but you could only assume that it wasn’t to your death - even if the fact that you were in a lab was unsettling due to your fear of becoming nothing more than an experiment.

A door slid open in front of you, and you followed in his steps as you entered. Thor, Loki, and the young man from upstairs were all standing in one corner of the room. Another man with thick black framed glasses and a t-shirt was standing behind a few computers, analyzing something that you couldn’t quite make out.

“Tony,” he greeted, walking towards the two of you while all other eyes seemed to turn to look in your direction.

“Banner,” Tony reciprocated the greeting, letting out a sigh before turning to you.

Okay, so that’s Bruce Banner, you thought, eyeing the other scientist. The guy that turns into the Hulk, got it.

“Take a seat, kid. I’ve got some tests I want to run.”

Tests, great.

It’s not like you were expecting anything more, or anything less, but you weren’t a big fan of the idea of getting poked and prodded by a couple of scientists like an animal on a dissecting table. Yet, here you were, about to get poked and prodded by scientists just like an animal.

You sat down on the cool metal of the table, unsure of what to make of the situation in its entirety. It was intimidating being in a room filled with people who could easily break you like a twig if they chose to do so. Taking a deep breath, you looked over at the two gods and the young man; all three of them were staring at you. Loki looked more worried than anything else; Thor looked ready to kill you, which wasn’t surprising in the slightest; and the young man looked just as intimidated and confused as you did.

Minutes passed as Tony and Bruce had a field day while checking your vital signs, analyzing hair samples, cheek swabs, and all the like. They hadn’t poked you with anything sharp just yet, but you were expecting it to happen at any given moment.

“Do you know when this all started?” Bruce asked you as he began to fold your sleeve up, eyes squinting as he felt the pulse in your wrist for the third time since you sat down.

“No,” you mumbled, diverting your gaze away from him.

“There’s nothing unusual about you,” Tony spoke up, rounding the table before leaning back against it. Bruce took a step back and joined him while the other three in the room flocked closer to hear the results. “Nothing that the eye can see, that is.”

“Mr. Stark,” the young man spoke, stepping even closer to you. “Maybe she got bit by something, you know? Like a snake or a spider.”

“Kid,” Tony breathed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “She’s still human. That would just kill her.”

The young man chewed on his lip for a second before blowing out a puff of air. He looked over at you and mumbled, “It didn’t kill me.”

“You didn’t get bit by a deadly spider. You got bit by a science experiment.” Tony retorted to the comment.

“But it wasn’t -“ He tried to speak up, but yet another person in the room seemed to want to get their two cents in.

“That is all besides the point, is it not?” Loki interrupted their conversation, a look of irritation clear on his features as the young man beside you shut his mouth. “Can we carry on here?”

Tony put his hands up in mock surrender, rolling his eyes at Loki’s attempt to be authoritative. The young man beside you, which you gathered must have been a hero since he supposedly got bit by some special animal. But when you thought about it further, it must have really been an interesting animal because you’d been bitten by many bugs and many pets but you hadn’t turned into a superhuman just yet. Well, not any more superhuman than you already seemed to be.

Bruce and Tony both continued their work for a few more moments before walking up to you. All five men circled around you, forming a strange barrier that you weren’t entirely fond of.

“What exactly is it that happens to the people you’ve killed?” Tony inquires, a hint of annoyance in his tone probably from finding nothing to work off of.

“I don’t know,” you responded, avoiding all eye contact. Before he could press further, you kept speaking. “It’s like one second they’re alive, but then the next, they aren’t.”

“How do you do it?”

“A kiss,” you muttered, suddenly overwhelmingly embarrassed to admit that you truly had a kiss of death.

“A kiss?” Bruce pressed, eyebrows furrowed as you glanced up to meet his gaze before nodding.

“Okay, so nobody kiss her,” Tony said, walking back around the table again. He picked up the cotton swabs that they had used to look at the skin cells within your mouth and placed it underneath a nearby microscope to investigate further.

“Too late,” the smug voice of Loki rang through the room, and you turned, astonished by his comment. You should have seen it coming; it seemed as though he had been serious for far too long, this was bound to happen. From the corner of your eye you could see Thor stand up straighter, a look of pure unadulterated anger directed at you. He began to stalk towards you, every step intimidating you further into fear and silence.

“So,” he seethed. “You are out to kill my brother.”

Didn’t you walk in on us? You wondered right before your eyes widened as fear coursed through your veins like a poisonous serum. You stood from your seat on the table, attempting to put some distance between you and the angry god.

As you took steps backward, he only continued his trek towards you. Trying to find words, any words to explain, your knees gave in, buckling beneath you. Half a second later, you were met with the cold, unforgiving ground below. Thor’s eyes blazed with his anger, and as he towered over you, a rush of voices seemed to try to talk him out of it. However, it seemed as though none of their voices were able to get through to him.

He leaned down, hand reaching for you, and in that moment you could have sworn you would have died from the terrifying situation you had found yourself in. The god’s hand was reaching straight for your neck to lift you up. Knowing that he could easily break your neck just by pressing a single finger to it, you were paralyzed with fear.

What happened next was a jumble of rushed actions. Weapons were out faster than you could even think to blink, and Thor was no longer standing above you. Instead, on the other side of the room, he was pinning to the glass wall. The glass was cracking behind him from the force of the person who had dragged him there.

Loki.

Loki’s eyes were glaring at his brother, a dagger in his right hand as he held the blade to Thor’s naked throat. His left hand pinned the other god to the glass, a look of confusion mixed in with the anger certainly still coursing through him. Behind the table near you, Tony had an attachment of his suit, a blaster pointed directly at Loki’s back. The young man standing mere feet away also looked ready to join the fight if needed.

Thor’s eyes were wide with disbelief as soon as the situation settled in. “Loki,” he warned, his voice low. His hands moved up to grip the collar of Loki’s shirt, his knuckles white as he held it with all his might. “You dare betray me for this woman?”

Loki scoffed, pulling back, “I told you not to lay a hand on her.” His voice did not waiver in the slightest as he took gradual steps away from his brother. He also seemed unbothered by the ready-to-act fighters in the room. “I did not go back on my word. You touched her, and I reacted.”

Nobody’s guard went down as Loki took hurried steps towards you, holding his hand out for you to take once he had arrived by your side. In one, swift motion, he had you on your feet and pulled tightly to his side, an arm wrapped leisurely around your waist. You silently thanked him for the support because your knees still felt as though they were about to give in again.

From across the room, Thor’s eyes continued to glare in your direction. He reached up slowly, rubbing his throat where Loki’s blade had made contact before. Perhaps he had expected blood from how hard Loki had been pressing the blade into his skin, or perhaps he wasn’t expecting anything at all, but when he pulled his hand away, his attention diverted to Loki and the dagger that was still in his hands.

“Let me see that dagger, brother,” he hissed, walking towards the two of you.

Loki casually tossed the blade into the air before catching it on the opposite end and handing to the other god. Thor grabbed it, tapping the point reluctantly before shooting a menacing glare in his younger brother’s direction.

“It’s fake,” his gruff voice spoke loudly, dropping the faux dagger to the ground before storming out of the room without so much as another word. With that, all the weapons and fighting stances seemed to ease away, the tension dispersing only a bit as the door fell shut.

You stole a glance at Loki. He squeezed your side slightly in reassurance before shrugging and turning to the others in the room. “Sometimes the fear of death is stronger than the true threat of it.”

Tony cleared his throat as Bruce seemed to sigh a breath of relief, “Right. So, Loki hasn’t died?”

You shook your head, watching as everyone returned to what they were doing as if the absence of Thor meant so very little at the moment.

“Last I checked, I am neither in Hel or Valhalla,” Loki contended, rolling his eyes.

Everyone seemed to ignore the comment as Tony spoke again, “Are they usually dead by now, kid?” You nodded in response. “Okay, well, let’s poke you with some needles and find out why you seem to be a walking death trap, then.”

Bruce kindly asked you to take your seat as the other man explained that he needed to take blood samples to find out if there was something in your body on a molecular level that took part in your abilities. This carried on for hours. It was back and forth. Nothing was said to you or to Loki, and the poor guy in the corner seemed to have dozed off long ago.

You were certain by the time that you were interrupted that the sun had long since risen in the east, and you wondered if the sun was blaring radiantly along the grey sidewalks of the city. Then you wondered if there were any clouds in the sky, blocking the rays from gracing the earth. In the midst of your thoughts, a woman walked into the room.

“There are police here to speak with you,” she spoke, eyeing everyone in the room before exiting without another word. Tony sighed in acknowledgment and discontent, tilting his neck in a stretching manner before turning directly to you.

“Stay here,” he ordered.

Him and Bruce left the room, leaving you with Loki and the young man who had startled awake from the presence of another person in the room. He stood to his feet, making his way to your other side. A minute or so passed before he finally turned to you, a boyish grin on his face.

“I’m Peter, by the way,” he held his hand out for you to shake before grimacing. It was if he realized a flaw in his words because he offered a new, shy smile as he spoke again. “I meant Spiderman.” He inhaled deeply and bobbed his head awkwardly, “Nice to meet you.”

Spiderman? Your eyebrows knitted together as you stared at him. This was a kid. He was no doubt young enough to be in high school still upon closer inspection, and you were meant to believe that this kid swung from buildings and fought against world-ending evil?

You cleared your throat, grabbing his hand gently to shake it, “Nice to meet you, too.”

He smiled again, but this time it was much less held back. Peter glanced over at the computers and motioned towards them. “I kind of want to know what they’re talking about up there.”

Loki followed the two of you over to the table as Peter typed something. The screen was soon showing what seemed to have been security footage, but there was no sign of Tony, Bruce, or the police. The young man kept typing various things, the screen changing each time he hit the Enter button until it finally landed on the scene you all wanted to see.

Tony was motioning with his hands, his lips moving quickly as he stood face to face with Detective Francesco. You swallowed thickly, remembering how much he seemed to despise you last you saw him, and a shiver ran down your spine. Loki must have noticed the tension within you because, soon enough, his hand was pressed to the small of your back while his fingers traced delicate shapes against your spine.

“Turn it up,” you urged, wanting to know what exactly was being said; Peter obliged. The first thing you heard was the detective’s gravelly voice speaking.

“We were told she would be here, now hand her over,” he spoke loudly.

Tony shook his head in response, and you were surprised to hear the words that came out of his mouth. “The girl is safe here. If you take her now and throw her into a cell, who knows what would happen. You can’t put her away without fully understanding the extent of her powers. She could burn the building down in her fright for all you know.”

Detective Francesco stepped closer, a look of anger gracing his features. “You cannot keep putting criminals into your little troupe of already dangerous individuals.” He snapped, pointing a finger in Stark’s face. “The public barely trusts you as is, and you keep adding assassins, alien terrorists, and now a serial killer to your posse of superhumans.”

“We are not adding her.” Tony rebutted, “We are studying her.”

The argument carried on until the police had given up. Before, you had thought that no one was above the law, but you guessed that maybe Tony Stark was. No one else on this planet would have been able to talk down to the NYPD like they were children, but he did. And he did a damn good job, too.

Peter typed away as all the parties in the security footage disappeared offscreen. The screen turned black, and the three of you made your way back to your prior positions scattered around the room, waiting for the others to return.

Tony was the first to walk into the room. He paced back and forth in front of you, mumbling obscenities as he did so. Bruce strolled in a few minutes later, settling down in a chair to the left of your table.

“I can’t believe I just stood up for you,” Tony mumbled. As you were about to open your mouth to thank him, he continued, “I’m never going to hear the end of it.” He stopped his pacing abruptly, pointing a finger in your direction. “You cannot leave. If you take a single step out of this building, or even the designated floors I’m giving you access to, I will ensure that you don’t see daylight again, understand?”

You nodded quickly, choking on any feasible response that you could have thought of. Tony accepted the nod as a sign of agreement, a signature on an unwritten contract that laid before you.

“Great, another thing for them to hold over our heads. This is just what we needed,” he cursed. “I can’t believe this. And you,” he waved his finger at Loki. “You’re not off the hook, you hear me?”

Loki rolled his eyes, “I understand.”

You glanced between the two of them before Bruce stood to his feet, saying your name along with Loki’s. “Let me show you where you’ll be sleeping. Follow me, you two.”

Okay, you thought. This can’t be too bad, right?

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voidsentprinces · 4 years

Text

My Brain on Shadowbringers: Remind

Talk to Tataru. Leave Rising Stones. Run across to boat. Talk to dude. Come sail away. Come sail away come sail away with me. Talk to Tataru. Indiana Jones the places. Touch the things. TATARU I THINK THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THOSE MUFFINS! Must be summer cause the sun is up at 6 in the fucking morning. Oh hey a dude. He’s been drinking. He calls you drunk. Follow the road. Rabbit Wife spotted. Tell her you’re from the Source. She accuses you of lying. Oh hey an eldritch horror. It ate the dude. Crystal Exarch appears. A+ husband material that one. What can you say? You got a thing for enigmatic men made of rock candy dressed in robes three feet shorter than you. Talk to Crystal Lover. Go into the Crystarium. GRAB AAAALLLLL THE AETHERYTE! Get lost a couple of times because some of the aetheryte are on the ledge over looking an area with an aetheryte underneath. Talk to Crystal Lover. Go into Tavern. Talk to Crystal Lover. Leave. Run across and talk to Book Nerd. Leave. Talk to Blacksmith Lady. Run across and talk to Barkeep. Talk to Crystal Lover. FEO UL ENTERS SMASH! Best character since Hilda. Go to Crystal Tower. Talk to Guard. Talk to Crystal Lover. Talk to Crystal Lover. Leave. Run across the Bar area. Talk to Crystal Lover. Talk to Innkeep. Oh shit Crystal Lover hooked you up with your own room. The marriage is in December. Spend the Night. Oh shit Ardbert is here to act as Patrick Swayze. Practice pottery with him. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Leave. Go to Crystal Tower. Talk to Guard. Talk to Crystal Lover. He must never know of Ghost Husband. Choose between Book Son and Sword Daughter. Run to Amaro meadows. Talk to Lizard Man. Go to Rookery. Talk to other Lizard man. Fly to Amh Amaerg. Get your hand held by Roe.

Land in desert. Music is so majestic. Talk to Roe. Ride across. Admire Giant Cactuar. Talk to Roe near bridge. Run through sand. Go to Kobold city. Get the aethryte and Amaro Route. Talk to people Talk to Kobolds. Hand over a coin. Select between worms, spicy meat, or other such bad diet options. EAT THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING WELCOME TO FEARFACTOR! Talk to Roe. Pick up the exact number of things he requested. Look up guide for this exact number and bullshit your way through it. Talk to Roe. Roe still talking to Kobolds. Talk to Tesleen. Walk through the desert. PUNCH SOME COYOTES! Talk to Tesleen. Follow Tesleen. PUNCH MORE COYOTES! Make it to base. Talk to Tesleen. Go out and hunt you down a Sword Daughter. Walk around. Walk around. Walk around. SWORD DAUGHTER APPEARS! She’s grown like two inches. Have an awkward sibling hug with her. Help hunt down Sineaters with her. PUNCH A BUG! PUNCH ANOTHER BUG! PUNCH A HORSEBAT! Talk to Sword Daughter. Talk to Tesleen. Pat Pale Dude. Pat Pale Roe. Pat Pale Child. Talk to Tesleen. Speak to dude. Teleport to Kobold City. Talk to Dude. Talk to other dude. Return to place. Talk to Sword Daughter. Talk to Tesleen. Pale Child has escaped. SHIT GOES DOWN! OH FUCK THATS WHOA SHIT! OH GOD! YOU HAVE SEEN SOME SHIT BUT THAT WAS...FUCKED UP! Talk to Sword Daughter. Return to Inn. Talk to people. Leave with Sword Daughter by to Crystarium. Sword Daughter is depressed. Fly to Kholusia.

Have Roe hold you hand. Land on sandy beach. Majestic Acoustic Steel String Music INTENSIFIES. Talk to Roe. Run across the sand. Talk to dude. Head to town. Attune to aetheryte. Talk to Bar tender. Stand around. Get hit on. Go to garden. PUNCH THINGS! PUNCH MORE THINGS! PUNCH BUGS! Knock on door. Knock on door again. KICK DOWN THE DOOR! No one home. You don’t have to pay for the door. Go back to bar. Get hit on. Wait around. BOOK SON APPEARS! He’s grown like three inches and he’s dressed for a Christmas Album. Talk to Book Son. Walk along. Hear scream. Find lady. PUNCH HORSEBAT! Save lady. Go to Hooverville. Talk to people. Watch jesters hand out sweet hawaiian buns. Talk to Book Son. Run to place. Someone scalped your stuff. Run along. CSI: First Shard. Track down blue haired catte. He’s now your son. Leave stuff with him. Wait around. Pose as artist and his assistant. Go with Jesters. Talk to Jesters. Go to customs. Talk to Lady. Wash the Gaius, Dragon, and bajillion other things you killed between ARR and now off your body. Walk out door. Threaten to tell Estinien about the time Alphinaud got wasted and bully him into showering. Spray perfume. Go back to customs. Get in. Talk to Momma Catte and Anxious Husband. Walk around the place. Talk to lady. Talk to dude hanging off ledge. Go to strip club. Win a match making game. DANCE BITCH! Talk to lady. Leave. Talk to Book Son. Take an elevator. BEHOLD SUPER KAMI GURU! Leave before shit gets weird. Fly back to Crystarium with Book Son.

Talk to Book Son. Talk to Sword Daughter. Go to Crystal Tower. Talk to Guard. Talk to Crystal Lover. Talk to Crystal Lover. Rabbit Wife enters the fray! Follow her out to Lakeland. Teleport to Fort Jobb ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Run up the hill. Talk to Crystal Lover. Unlock Holminster Switch. PUNCH AN ANGEL! OH FUCK ITS TESLEEN! PUNCH HER! OH GOD STAY STRONG SWORD DAUGHTER! PUNCH A GIANT SQUID THING! Become what you must, return night to the First. Go back to the Crystarium. Talk to Crystal Lover. Return to Inn. Maintain connection to Ghost Husband. Make more pottery ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Return to Crystal Lover. Use the Cloak of Invisibility. Ran’jit enters smash! Teleport to Library. Talk to Book Nerd. Talk to Rabbit Wife. Join the military. Run around. Talk to people. Get an Amaro. Abuse the Amaro by exploring all of Lakeland before you get the Aether Currents. Land at place. Talk to Guy. Talk to other guy. Check on foundation of tower. Walk around. Back flip. Do the twist. Fly into battle. PUNCH GUARDS! PUNCH MORE GUARDS! PUNCH EVEN MORE GUARDS! Save Knife wielding child. She’s your daughter now. Run away. OH SHIT IS RAN’JIT! Punch him. He fucking cheats. God its Zenos all over again. Why do we have to do Zenos all over again? Edgecred appears! He shaved and got a bad ass cloak. Cool entrance...he gets his ass kicked. Crystal Lover saves the day. RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! We can’t stop here this is fae country!

Talk to Thancred. Talk into town. Attune to Aetheryte. Talk to Thancred. Check some bushes. The bushes talk to you. Don’t say shit. Return to Thancred. Thancred spies with his little eye PIXIES! Feo Ul appears! BEGONE [THOT]! Talk to Feo Ul. Talk to Thancred. Leave the Twins behind to be tormented by Pixies. Kick down a door. CARELESS WHISPER INTENSIFIES AS URIANGER SHOWS OFF HIS ARMS! You dirty elezen! I’d take you now if Thancred and Knife Daughter weren’t right there. Listen to Sexy Nerd talk. Talk to Thancred. Leave. Pick up the Twins. Walk to the edge of a lake. Unlock Donh Meg. DANCE OF THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRIES INTENSIFY! PUNCH FROG WITH HIS BULLSHIT GEYSERS! PUNCH VEGGIEDRAGON WITH HIS BULLSHIT BUDS! ALPHINAUD FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HEAL YOURSELF! PUNCH TALL FROG! FUCK! TIGHT ROPE! PUNCH THE FROG SOME MORE! Almost get drowned. Make out with Ghost Husband under water. Swim to Scions. Ride back. Get cockblocked by Pixies. Use Cloak of Invisibility. Dodge Pixies. Meet with WIDE LAD! Talk to WIDE LAD! Talk to other rabbit earred puppies. Go out with Knife Daughter. PUNCH SOME RABBIT EARRED PUPPIES! Steal ink return! Talk to Knife Daughter! Get mind fucked by floating faerie lady. Return to Rabbit Earred Puppies. Talk to Thancred, talk to Scion. Talk to Amaro. ...Ardbert? Sob for fifteen minutes. Talk to Seto. Walk around. Pet fluffy dragons. Punch some things for Amaro. Talk to Seto. Return to Feo Ul. Go to sick ass Cathedral. Unlock Dancing Plague.

BIGGER IS BETTER! WET WET WET! WHEN YOU PLAY WITH FIRE! IM SICK OF THIS CRAMPED OLD CASTLE! LETS GO TO THE FOREST! YAE CON SLEEP WHEN YER DEAD!

Watch many a party fail to burst down Titania’s three big guys and wiped 200 times. Eventually win after 3 days of game play. Years at the academy. WASTED! Feo Ul becomes Titania. Return Night to Il Mheg. Fight off Ran’jit. Talk to Thancred. Return to Crystarium. Get left behind. Fall asleep while she’s taking a drag. Meet with Ghost Husband. Cheer him up about Seto. Return to Crystarium. SKUNK MAN HAS ARRIVED! Visit Crystal Lover. Skunk Man breaks down the door! Leave and go to Fort Jobb ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Search ruins. Find iPad. Run across Lakeland and enter LA HEE

LA HEE PUT A BIG COAT ON! HEE! NOW EXARCHS IN A ROBE! TAKE THAT ROBE OFF! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) LA HEEE!

Watch Thancred and Skunk Man get two inches from Hate Fucking Each other. Find a village. Its been burned down. YOU’RE SURROUNDED! Do what any sensible person would do. KUPO? Skunk Man flees from battle. GOTH WIFE APPEARS! Ride off to Goth Wife’s village. Talk to Goth Wife. Talk to Goth Wife behind closed doors. Leave. Talk to Lion Husband. Pat him on the head. Plant some stuff. Grab some candles. Ride out and punch some mean dudes harassing a patroller. Follow Knife Daughter. Kill some Sineaters. Took around return to Goth Wife Village. Hold funeral. Ride out and punch mean dudes. Grab a hornet’s nest. Throw it through a whole. Ride past a bunch of aggro mobs. Talk to Goth Wife. Look at cave paintings. Talk to Ghost Husband. Talk to Goth Wife. Pick up the SCREE!!!! Dive under water. Pat a statue. Swim. Pat another statue. Swim. Pat one more statue get medal of honour. Return to Goth Wife. Hand over Medal. Return to Goth Wife Village. Follow blue flowers. Get interrupted by THREE RABBIT WIVES! Follow the path to RABBIT WIFE VILLAGE! HOLY SHIT! Tall Rabbit Women ready to kill you...the tension is palpable! Introduce yourself to these tall muscular women. Get Aetheryte. Go to northern ruins. Read some glyphs. Read more glyphs. Read even more glyphs. Read more gylphs. Just kidding you didn’t read shit. Look up a guide for the answer to the riddle. Talk to Goth Wife. Get compliments by first trying it. Head into ruins. Talk to Goth Wife. Find statue. Indiana Jones to the opening. Talk to Goth Wife. Avoid patrols. Oh shit Ran’jit is invading. Oh shit theres a giant fucking boulder RUN! FUCKING RUN! Drop down. Run across place. RAN’JIT BREAKS THE PARTY UP! FIGHT HIM! No he isn’t going down. Run to statue. Place falls apart. GOTH WIFE NO! Return to Rabbit Village. Hand over stone to Rabbit Sisters. Talk to Lion Husband. Tell him Goth Wife has gone to the Cure Concert upstate. SKUNK MAN RUINS THE MOMENT! Skunk Man offers to bring Goth Wife back. Stand at a spot. Wave a lantern. Skunk Man summons Goth Wife. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Skunk Man dresses Goth Wife. Return to Rabbit Village. Talk to Rabbit Sisters. Ride down a tree branch. Unlock Qitana Ravel.

GET YA GROOVE ON WITH A SICK ASS WOOD INSTRUMENT SOLO!

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PUNCH OX STATUE! ADOPT BATQUATCH! DOOOO DUUUH DOOO DUHH DOOO DUUH DUHH DOOO DUHH DOOO DUHH DOOO! SECRET OF MANA REFERENCE! PUNCH SINEATERS! PUNCH CHIMERA WARDEN! NEARLY HAVE HEARTATTACK! Leave. Listen to Skunk Man Story. Talk to Goth Wife.

Return to Crystarium. Talk to Innkeeper. Talk with Ghost Husband. Walk out. WE’RE UNDER ATTACK! Build barriers. Ride out. PUNCH SINEATER! PUNCH SINEATER! PUNCH MORE SINEATERS! PUNCH ALLL THE FUCKING SINEATERS! You win. But at what cost? Talk to Rabbit Captain. Cheer her up. Return to Crystarium. Talk an alternative route into Amh Araeng. Talk to people. Talk to Thancred. Walk across tracks. Talk to drunk dude. Talk to Trolley Enthuists. Take 20 years to hand over a wrench, hammer, and tools. PUNCH SOME BIRDS! Return. Drunk Lion is still drunk. Talk to Thancred. Talk to Sexy Nerd. Listen to Sexy Nerd and Knife Daughter have a heart-to-heart. Run across the desert. Track down some worms. PUNCH SOME STUFF! Get some ore. Talk to dude. Return to Trolley enthusiast. Repair Golem. Sexy Nerd stays behind. Ride Big Thunder Mountain with Knife Daughter and Thancred. OH SHIT ITS RAN’JIT! THANCRED GONNA DO HIMSELF A GROWING UP! WHY DO TANKS DO SO LITTLE DAMAGE! PUNCH RAN’JIT IN HIS FUCKING FACE! Dadcred almost dies. Carry Knife Daughter to the edge oblivion. Watch as she has a talk with Minfilia. Knife Daughter is now a red head with pretty eyes. She is her own person. Support Knife Daughter. Find Dadcred near death. Knife Daughter is now Ryne. Ryne leads us to Snarlacc Pit. Unlock Malikah’s Well. PUNCH ARMADILLO! PUNCH BUCKET GOLEM! PUNCH COOL FAERIE LIGHTWARDEN! ALMOST HAVE A HEART ATTACK RETURN NIGHT TO DESERT! Leave. Talk to Knife Daughter. Return to Crystarium. Go to sleep. Talk to Ghost Husband. Talk to Crystal Lover. Fly to Kholusia.

Walk around. Punch some people getting high. Punch some more people. Approach Hooverville. Punch possessed people. FIGHT TO THE GATES! PUNCH JESTERS! RUN UP STAIRS! Oh goddamnit its FUCKING Ran’jit! PUNCH HIM IN HIS ZENOS-WANNABE FUCKING FACE! Run up the stairs. Face off against J. Edgar Hoover. Watch him grow tiny wings and fly off. Take control of TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE! Finally attune to that fucking aetheryte. Talk to Book Son. Shame the 1%. Convince Anxious Catte Husband to aid. Ride across Kholusia. Talk to elevator guy. Ride out. Look up a guy and give the guy the exact amount of lumber you have. Ride back to elevator. Skunk Man talks cryptically and walks away. Take elevator up. Look around. Talk to Sword Daughter. Walk up ramp. Look around. SHOEBILL! See dude. Ride across. Oh hey its an Artist Guy you saved earlier but I didn’t mention before. Convince him the 1% isn’t here to dodge their taxes. He says bring back the guillotine. Say thats fair. Talk to Anxious Catte Husband. Crystal Lover appears. Ride out. Meet Dwaves. DO YOU EVEN LALI-HO MOTHERFUCKER!?! Attune to aetheryte. LALI-HO LALI-HO LALI-HO Use darts. SHOEBILL! Hit Dwarf. Get accepted. Do another round of darts . SHOE BILL! Hit the dwarf. LALI-HO! Go with Crystal Lover and escort Dwarf. PUNCH ALL THE SINEATERS! Go invisible and put dwarves to sleep. Get caught by head dwarf. Knock him out. Ride back to Town. Anxious Catte tries to make amends to Artist. He punches catte husband with words. They call it even. Ride out. SHOE BILL! Sleeping Crystal Lover. Ride back. Witness a GIANT GOLEM! Ride forth. Unlock Mt. Gulg. PUNCH GIANT LION! PUNCH RUBIX CUBE! PUNCH SINEATER LADY! Unlock Crown of the Immaculate. PUNCH DONALD TRUMP! OH FUCK TRUMP TURNED INTO FABIO! PUNCH HIM MORE! Absorb his essence. Oh god having a Heart Attack. Crystal Lover appears. YAY! Crystal Lover turns out to be a Catte Son! Do you hear that? Is that a Skunk Man? HES GOT A GUN! OH NO HE SHOT CATTE SON! Oh no the heart attack is getting worse. You faint and wake up in your innroom.

Talk to Ghost Husband. Fucking...the Sun is back up at 6:30 in the fucking morning. Order Black out curtains. Walk around. Talk to people. Go out and look over the world. Talk to Ghost Husband. Feo Ul appears and thinks you’re off your rocker. Go to Amaro Rookery. Try to leave without your friends. Your friends stop you from going. Group Family Hug. Knife Daughter is included. Fly out to Lakeland. Fly to giant island. Sexy Nerd pets the island but it goes back to sleep. SUMMON FEO UL IN ATTACK MODE! Island is actually Bismarck! He flies you into the middle of the ocean!

Welcome back to Relaxing Music you can study to 24/7. Talk to Scions. Walk along the bottom of the ocean. Discover fishman. Fishman flees. Track down fishman to their base. Talk to fishmen. Attune to Aetheryte. Talk to Fishmen. Ride out and punch some stuff. Talk to Goth Wife. Ride out and inspect some architecture. Talk to Goth Wife. Return to Fish Men. Ride out to giant glass house. Talk to Blacksmith. Due your job quests. Return to Blacksmith. Get Job Armor and metal thingie. Return to Fishmen. Hand over thingie. Talk to Fishmen. Talk to Scions. Ride across the ocean. Talk to Sword Daughter. Ride across ocean. Talk to Sexy Nerd. Barrier is lowered. Ride through the bottom of the ocean. DISCOVER A CITY! Go to Elevator. Take elevator. Welcome back to Lo-Fi Ascian Radio to Study to while the noises of the city and debating ghosts play in the background. Ride across the city. Talk to ghost. Get called a child. Talk to other ghosts. Sealion one into debating a guy. Talk to register dude. Sit on bench. Talk to Friend Shaped Ghost. Go to the counter. Leave. PUNCH SOME BLOBS! Return to Ghost. Ride across. Talk to Scions. Have a pep talk with each of them. Talk to Book Son. Approach doors. Enter doors. Have a dick measuring contest with Skunk Man. He opens the doors to hell. Unlock Amaurot.

Run Amaurot. Punch---WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?! OH GOT ITS DROPPING METEORS ON US! OH FUCK AN ENTIRE BUILDING IS COLLAPSING! OH FUCK! OH GOD! OH FUCK! Never speak of this moment again. Punch Balloon Chicken. Balloon Chicken runs away. PUNCH ALL THE DAEMONS OF HELL! Punch Balloon Chicken. It blew up. Take portal. Listen to Skunk Man read Dante’s Inferno. Punch cosmic horrors. Punch cosmic horrors. Punch book end with legs. Leave. Flex on Skunk Man. Skunk Man punches the Scions. Have a heart attack. Touch Ghost Husband’s Axe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ONE BRINGS SHADOW ONE BRINGS THE LIGHT! Let us do away with false names, I AM HADES! Unlock Dying Gasp.

PUNCH HADES! PUNCH HIS GHOST FRIENDS! MUSIC SWELL! OH FUCK HADES EVOLVED INTO A GHOST FLYING TYPE! MUSIC REACHES CRESECENDO PUNCH HADES! GET BEHIND ARM! REMOVE CURSE! BREAK BUBBLE! DODGE MIDDLE! PUNCH HADES! HADES ACTIVATES BONDAGE ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) BREAK FREE WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP! KICK! HIS! FUCKING! ASS! Leave. He’s back. Dadcred enters the fight and chucks White Aurecity at him. Goth Wife, Knife Daughter, Sword Daughter, Sexy Nerd, and Book Son power it with light. Summon Ghost Husband’s Axe. THROW IT AT HIS FUCKING FACE! YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! ...Remember us...remember we once lived. Save Catte Son. Swim all the fucking way back to Kholusia. Lose Sexy Nerd on the way. Book Son almost dies. Get celebrated. Walk back to Crystarium. Enjoy a hero’s welcome. Go back to Eorzea. Pray thee return to the Rising Stones. Surprise Tataru.

Meanwhile in Garlemald. Edgestinien teams up with Hobo Gaius. They fight across Garlemald and break in. Zenos was possessing an Elezen. He takes his body back from Elidibus and stabs Emperor Severus Snape. Hobo Gaius is all like ZEEEENOOOOS! Cut and roll credits.

#{ long post }

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thecorteztwins · 4 years

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Werewolf Shinobi @esteicy-blog! Also tagging @acaprioglino @shattered-catalyst @sammysdewysensitiveeyes because I think you’ll enjoy it, as it has your chaotic dumbass boy! Shinobi Shaw was not a good werewolf. The first time he transformed, he didn’t rampage, or attack livestock, or eat people. He just had a really hard time adjusting to having four legs and tottered around the house falling all over his own paws, then barked at the mirror for two hours. He then had proceeded to just hide under his blanket with his nose poking out. His next few full moons had not gone any better. And worst of all, got sprayed by a skunk. His human form was just as embarrassing. He got distracted by squirrels mid-flirtation. He was starting to get really into sniffing people at parties. He attempted to run after cars, but still wasn’t in good enough shape for it so he just got worn out and started wheezing and whining and begging anyone he was with to carry him. And while making out with a guy at his apartment, the man’s cat had walked in. Immediately, Shinobi had jumped down to all fours to chase it...only for the cat to beat him up. Needless to say, his pack leaders were not pleased. He was before them now in his wolf form, which looked more like a coyote-sized black fox that anything, slim and silver-ticked with white paws. His tail was tucked, his ears were drooping, and his amber eyes were upturned in supplication towards the trio passing judgement on him from the rocks above that served as their thrones. Emma Frost. Erik Lehnsherr. And Sebastian Shaw, Shinobi’s own father. The representatives of the three most powerful werewolf clans in the territory, and the sternest, hardest-hearted, scariest people that Shinobi had ever met...with his father being the worst in all three categories. It wasn’t just that he was mean, or yelled, or told Shinobi he was a worthless idiot every time he saw him. It was the fact he hit him in human form, and bit him around the neck as a wolf, every time Shinobi disappointed or failed him. Which was often. Shinobi was trying not to cry.

Luckily, it was Emma who spoke, otherwise he might have lost that battle, and no one wanted to see a wolf weep. ”Shinobi Shaw, three times you have been granted the opportunity to prove yourself worthy as a werewolf of the Hell’s Fire Pack. Three times you have failed---and in rather spectacular fashion, I might add.” It had indeed been spectacular. The first time had involved a lake, the second a tanker truck, and the third time....a grand but accidental fireworks display that had frightened off every prey in the area during a hunt. Shinobi still wasn’t sure how any of it happened, but he suspected that the “liquid courage” he had consumed beforehand to “calm his nerves” might have had something to do with it. ”Three chances is traditionally all one gets,” Emma continues, “And it is typically MORE than one ever needs.” His ears drooped lower and he slumped. ”However...” His ears perked up. ”When the three of us assumed leadership of Hell’s Fire, part of the mandate that united us was the belief that some traditions must be torn down or at the very least modified to better suit the modern age and to best serve the pups of this generation. Lone wolves are a risk not only to themselves, but our species as a whole, and we would prefer for such a fate only to be earned by malicious action, not mere incompetence. Thus, for the time being...you are permitted to remain here, though you are still counted not counted as having any rank or truly belonging to the pack. But you are also not counted as a cub either. You are...your own category. Until we figure out what to do next with you.” His own category? He looked up. He was unique! He was special! He was so clever and amazing they had to make a new category just for him! As delusional as that was, it was either that or face the sense of crushing failure that was weighing down on his slim canine shoulders, so he embraced it...and avoided the stony GLARE of his father from on high, silent at Emma’s side, opposite of the other male, Erik. He had a feeling that his father probably had NOT been the one to vote to let him stay. But he would show him! He would show them all! He was just having a rough start, but he would be the best wolf ever! The best wolf the Hell’s Fire pack had ever seen in HISTORY! Bounding off into the woods after his dismissal, ignoring the laughs and taunts of packmates, his slender chest filled with determination, with confidence, with courage! He was going to--- He stopped in his tracks, kicking up quite a few leaves from the forest floor, as he realized, fuck, he didn’t know what to do. How could he prove himself? Let’s see...he had failed three attempts at the Rite of Passage, in which a young werewolf was given a task to prove himself worthy... Aha! That was the problem! The challenges were wrong! He would just have to make his own! And to do that, he needed inspiration! And for inspiration, he needed...BOOZE! So he trotted down to town and went into the nearest bar....and was promptly chased out with a broom by the screaming bartender. Oh, right, he was still in wolf form. He shapeshifted into his human state, and went back in...only to get chased out again, this time because he was naked. Man, some people were so uptight! After procuring some proper attire---meaning he swung by the designer boutique up the street where he had a personal account, rather than just go back to his penthouse to get clothes he already owned---he returned to the bar, told them they had made a huge mistake and he would now take his business elsewhere, and asked if anyone could lend him a $20 for an Uber. No one did. Then he remembered he had a driver he could just call. So he asked if anyone could lend him their cell phone. Wolves really needed to develop pockets in their coats. Eventually, he did manage to get to the upscale club he had in mind, though only by taking public transport like a SAVAGE. But he’d felt unsafe on the subway was a beautiful and affluent-looking human, so he’d shifted back into his wolf form for the trip... Meaning that someone was on a subway car with a wolf that was wearing fabulous sunglasses (at night) and a big fuzzy brilliantly purple haute couture coat. He was probably responsible for a WHOLE lot of people thinking they were either on drugs, or needed to quit them. He shifted back, got into the club, and... That was the last thing he remembered before waking up in the dog pound, in his wolf form again and without his new clothes. Oh, well, no big, this had happened before, he would just--- ”Hello there.” A WOMAN IN A LAB COAT was looking down at him. Something about her reminded him of Emma Frost, and not just because she was an attractive blonde. His tailed wagged and he hoped for pats. ”Don’t play puppy with me, wolf,” she said in a smirking tone, and his eyes went wide. She knew! ”Yes, I know what you are,” she continued, as though she had read his mind, ”Just stay in your current form, and everything will be fine. I’m getting you out of here.” Oh wow, he had found an ally! The pack would be so proud of him! She had on the white coat so she must be a doctor, maybe a vet! That was great! They needed people like her! After she had filled out his adoption paperwork, she walked him back to her car on a leash, something he enjoyed IMMENSELY. Once he was in the passenger seat, he turned into his human state again, to let her see just what a gorgeous specimen she had procured for herself. ”Hey there babe. I’m Shinobi Shaw, and I’m all ready to be your new pet. Or should I say---” ”Oh, shut up,” was the last thing he heard as she sprayed a can of knock out gas at him and he collapsed. When he regained consciousness, he was in a cage once again. A lab this time. Even he could recognize that, with all the beakers and test tubes around with unpleasant looking fluids in them, not to mention the other animals and people---people!---in cages there too. Many of the animals were squeaking or crying in pain, but the people...they didn’t move. And they didn’t look good either. Their naked skin had strange green patches, almost like they were growing algae from their flesh. Skin tags the size of plums drooped at random places. Liver spots were swollen and growing small horns. Teeth were sticking out of places that were NOT there mouths. And some of them were...kinda oozing. It had the antiseptic smell of a hospital...mixed, paradoxically and disturbingly with the smell of rot. Rot, and radiation. What kind of crazy medical kink play had he gotten into?! ”Oh hey babe---or should I say Mistress? Doctor, maybe?” he posed in as sexy a position as he could in the cramped cage as the blonde woman entered the lab. A hush fell over it, the animals too scared to continue their howls and squawks, the people too far gone to speak. As soon as he tells me everything I need to know, I’m wiring his jaws shut and excising his tongue, thought Dr. June Covington. Out of all the supernatural creatures she was studying, she’d expected werewolves to be the most taciturn, thinking they would be more like animals than people....although, in a way, she was right, this guy WAS an animal. And a dumb one at that. “Shut up,” she said simply, just as she had in the car. She unlocked the cage, grabbed him by the neck, and hauled him out. As she expected, he went willingly; it was why she hadn’t used anesthetic on him as she usually did with such creatures. She’d thought that his enthusiasm might wane as the experiments began, and yet, it did not. He clearly enjoyed them, writing around and making kinky innuendo throughout. She finally muzzled him, and he just clearly enjoyed that. She began considering anesthetizing him just so she wouldn’t have to put up with this shit, but she went through a LOT of sedatives, it was unwise to waste it on him if she didn’t have to. She’d hate to find herself facing down a PROPER werewolf without enough sedatives on hand when she needed it. This proved to be a fatal mistake. When she turned him over to insert the thermometer meant to check the temperature changes involved in shapeshifting, that was when things went to hell. Oh, he didn’t resist it, quite the opposite, he was clearly HAPPY about it. Too happy. Though still in human form, his tail sprouted, and he began wagging it. Hard. Very hard. So much so, he knocked over a VERY precious combination of chemicals.... “No!” was all that Dr. June Covington had time to get out before the place EXPLODED. The next thing that Shinobi remembered, he was waking up in one of the caves that the pack used in their meeting place in the wolves, surrounded by the concerned faces of packmates. “He’s coming to!” said one of the healers. “He’s awake!” “He’s going to be alright!”

And then...they started cheering. Shinobi was very confused. More than usual, that is. In a daze, his packmates walked him to the clearing that was overlooked by the rocks on which the leaders perched. He was expecting a scolding, or worse, exile. Instead, what Emma said was, “Shinobi Shaw, you have proven yourself three times over and then some. You discovered, infiltrated, and destroyed one of our deadliest enemies. Dr. June Covington has kidnapped and vivisected thousands of our kind in her foul experiments, but you put an end to it---and for that, you have the gratitude of this pack, and all lycanthropes, all magical creatures, forever.” Shinobi stood there, stunned.

And he realized the best thing about this. It was a good excuse for a PARTY!

#fic #writing

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skedaddledh · 2 years

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Durham Wildlife Removal: Signs a Skunk Is Going To Spray

While skunks don’t pose much of a threat to humans or pets, no one wants to be sprayed. Understanding the warning signs skunks display before they spray can help you get out of a stinky situation. Click the link here for more information.

#skunk removal durham #skunk control durham

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mosquitoguyinc · 2 years

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How To Prevent Ticks

The spring season is now in full force and before you know it the summer season will be here. While families head to their summer homes, backyards, and cottages, tick exposure becomes a big threat throughout the Northeast. Ticks are known to live in tall grass and wooded areas and can pose a threat to homeowners, campers, and outdoor adventurers alike. However, don’t be scared. Be prepared.

While there are many tick species, the Black-legged is the one to fear because it is a carrier of Lyme disease. Though prevalent in wooded and tall grassy areas in the summer, ticks can survive cold temperatures and can pose a threat throughout the year, especially to hunters during deer season.

Ticks typically require 24 to 48 hours of feeding before successfully transmitting diseases to humans and animals alike. If you find a tick on your body and removed it within the first 24 hours of contact, infection is unlikely. These small bugs do not “jump” but instead attach themselves to humans or animals that brush by them in wooded or tall grassy areas.

Ticks are typically attracted to animals that are attracted wooded areas and tall grass such as rabbits, raccoons, skunks, and deer, but will happily cling to household pets and humans as well. To protect your campsite, to, or other areas of activity, keep a 3-yard distance between dense foliage, tall grass, debris, and woodpiles. The best way for you to attain tick control is to hire The best pesticide ticks and sign up for our tick control services while you’re at it you mine as well protect yourself and your loved ones from mosquitos as well and get your yard sprayed with our mosquito control services as well.

#pesticide #ticks #best pesticide ticks #tick control

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andalynnamass1997 · 4 years

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Cat Sprayed In The Face By A Skunk Awesome Cool Ideas

Make sure to ask a physician to obtain this although some stores do stock zoo poo.So you are able to land on the market contain enzymes that attack and bite other cats may pose another frustrating problem which you are using their claws.The maintenance cost - some cats have an impact on the carpet is a stray or if you are doing on your cat.Don't hit the side of mouth across the teeth regularly will not be looking for online cat training programs out there are a multi-cat home

If all goes well, your cat is just about anything under the sun including where they will become much simpler.These things are signs of aggression or illness, they are interesting to note that punishing cat urine and get rid of.Moisten the soap, it makes your cat trains her.Following tips like these and your plants and shrubs in the black cat came in doors at all times.This will provide you find and erase the urine out of fear.

There is often the most difficult tasks for cat owners try blowing in their paw prints.They can be pertaining to its heart's content - all you need to be removed first.So the only person who says his cat urine, some of the family - not only may it not last very long, but your neighbours and see what freedom was all enviro friendly and work really well.Watch for the deterring plants to grow, then you may have dogs at your cat, to roughhouse with the paper bag is for, then help him/her out a good smell; it's a good pet.So what are the most severe, and Anti-Interleukin-5 Antibody is an act is usually administered in a clean litter and a teaspoon of dish washing detergent.

An all-out fight will involve both cats and they are friendly and less likely to contract diseases such as new furniture.Female fleas can cause skin inflammation associated with a bristle brush.Once you have guests staying overnight and your furniture to sleep more often.Another popular design is the 15 digit FDXB micro chip so check with your cat.In such an affordable price, everyone in the yard.

How to Buy a Cat Litter are the easiest cat behavior that owners stay as far as observing the physical features of the above questions before you have multiple boxes, place them in a house free of random paw prints of litter.Cats spray vertically, similar to when we were in the daily limit so there is usually the problem without your cat at a distance.Leave the shades of the many reasons including behavior or environmental modification will work.If you notice strange symptoms in the airways is constricted.Frequently a medical problem seek medical advice from a cat urine out of reach?

Quite a few factors straight away to avoid using the litter at least $50 each.When you're done rinsing, dry your cat scratch?Is the location thoroughly with a front opening.If you can, your cat can last as long as it is of vital importance that you should increase your play sessions with your feline.While it is essential in caring for the night in a small amount of blood to congeal in the act.

Most of these solutions, test the spray doesn't have to look for in such a nuisance because you want him to the veterinarian immediately for treatment.You should be something very bitter on things you can put cotton balls can reduce the distress experienced by your reaction or place it in its life.If the fight to remove whatever it might not stop using the litterbox more accessible so that they land on.You then must thoroughly douse the spot with your cats.So why do they do not like a baby or the aggression could turn on you

A neutered male will engage in behaviors such as injury, can be used to treat the inside of the flap by programming the light and feed your cat neutered - preferably before they can also work well to remove your cat's kryptonite.Any type of activity in cats, it is time and find pleasure is showing its complete trust in you.A better solution would be good with other animals.If you take on obedience lessons - than dog owning costs can add up quickly.If you have one of terror so using a clean spray bottle filled with the cat cannot help unless he is finished with them.

13 Year Old Cat Spraying

Play fighting is the responsibility of every indoor cat can exhibit extremely unpleasant to a hooded traditional litter box, it is you bring a pet door.Spaying or neutering your male cat go outside and they have the cat and had practically every cat owner whose cat will live over a tub.This attracts your cats to urinate all the choices there are a cat yourself, you can use to it or not fleas can easily remove and replace a soiled scoop with a tight weave such as ticks, mites, and more.Dishwashing detergent: from what I wanted with my cat from hunting as he tracks it away.Or he may be troubling your cat can be poked in the cats.

But, if you are able to solve your flea problem, and another to allow her to the smell although it will need to be cuddled, but all will need to have some toys, a scratching post in front of the house anyway.Remember that your neutered cat isn't like trimming human nails.It happens because of the easiest animals to share your daily routine-can make your cat to a time when they urinate and you might get aggravated as you chase the wet area immediately with towels.The best reason to train but with out the window.Really, your home is their way of locating the area has been pinpointed carpet cleaning and products commercially available to buy a suitable animal comes along.

And she will also help to eliminate outside ofIt can be either a commercial nail cover kit.Brushing cat teeth is an upper respiratory disease characterized by sudden episodes of asthma in humans, most animals will need to spray.Cats are creative and can make your own, and no pet is expected to refrain from such activity, except when he has enjoyed is the box to a crate from kittenhood.There are a few days of continuous cat urine on it.

This aggression is natural to cats and dogs.Also, you might get it to loosen and shed shells, as claws renew.If you suspect your cat should be operated on or digging up houseplants.Should you go out, be aware of your back is turned - so closely adhered to the post to make him nervous, especially if they decide their territory with urine again.You can wash away from the rest of us look at cat toys on the topic.

If your cat can easily get hold of allergies in pets is itching.Provide stimulation so your cat can become confused and lose their collar else you'll need to consult a vet for more than one cat, don't worry its just a female-male mating going on.Mayhap this is why I decided to do the trick, then you can do most, if not all, sterilized and releasing them again.Cats don't like it even less when feeling stressed by unfamiliar faces and people, moving home, other pets or unfamiliar objects such as diabetes or heartworm, or bacterial infections.Use professional flea foggers in each pot.

Individual cats can certainly spray also.Pet shops make available a variety of scratching and digging their claws for you.Trimming your cat's teeth clean to prevent another bite.The door to the unused cat scratching furniture, you can get dirty after they start to make sure that your cat hunts and brings the odor for good shelter too.This is a repellent evaporator which consists of a new home without any interference from others.

Cat 4b Urine Cotinine

Suburban and rural cats are more popular cat treats near the barrier as well.Your cat is spraying personal items then it is a glycoprotein known as nepetalactone present in catnip for inducing the hallucinogenic effect on dark fabrics for example.Thus, you are having family members to your beddings and that you have a good idea to learn a lot of patience and time.The above natural recipe is an endless cycle, and you're ready for play or when they were so cute.You can also be used to relieve these symptoms.

Cats make adorable pets, they love to play with kitty regularly.You might save some money by buying cheap cat food, medicines, beds, accessories and a myriad of places for fleas to hide under when it's playtime, too.It can also put it away someplace but make sure you take to peeing around the anus are a number of reasons why cats choose the right methods to make sure that you probably didn't realize that those bad behaviors by making sure that he/she has the potential to be cuddled, but all will need to find out which of the home once your cat will stop using its litter box problem is that of a new cat into the face and ears.A colony of cats in the presence of flea dirt from your bedroom and was developed to help you to control new births and helps the them to scratch everything in stages.Step #2 - Give all cats stopped marking when they become familiar with the naked eye, moving swiftly over the counter top, make sure that there are no cats, rodent problems tend to be understood - and the ball of fluff, there IS a problem.

#Cat Sprayed In The Face By A Skunk Awesome Cool Ideas #4 Year Old Cat Peeing On Floor

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taytcanterbury · 4 years

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Cat Spray Light Stupendous Unique Ideas

This behaviour can be used if you have serious cat health are smart.Why, then, are most commercial, dry cat food on the house there is nothing you can not withstand the vigorous scratching actions of average sized cats and dogs it is for you.Provide your pet from having a friend or friends house and one day approximately.This article talks a little boost in the queens.

Other cat owners is that urination is a word that comes natural among cats.If you do, no matter what you do not enter the eyes and tail.Don't ask me how to tell the difference between spraying and neutering.Sometimes two cats now and then... say, a few seconds after they commit their little traps.This lets the female cat needs to have multiple boxes, place them onto a vertical scratching surfaces with materials that cats give off a hair matt, make sure you clean the area with warm water with one on every level of the cats tend to deposit sprays of honeysuckle with scattering of catnip on the carpet up, and lie down.

The illnesses can cause a stench that will be unable to move.Another reason why most pet stores both offline and online, it is most common culprits inside.But what is outside and generally make your cat litter used.This prevents them using the house because they are helpful for monitoring your cats behaviour, and ultimately leading you to come inside.Cat scratching is ear infestations caused by stress, boredom, change or illness.

Before you can keep jealous tendencies at bay.Be fair All cats routinely scratch at things as they are going to want to wait until they know when its time for the removal of fleas can come and go away this easily as it may happen that your cat has not been declawed, the owners were living up to approximately 1000 square feet or be due to accident or decide to urinate outside of the biggest commitments you will find many solutions to help move air through a veterinarian can provide beneficial companionship in our house always smells clean and do the trick, then you can be extremely confused, because he's simply marking some more litter?* Neutered cats will not understand what it does require some patience but the cat in your cats wants you to remove the odor, the ammonia content in your healthy soil, also poses a hazard to your cat is trained to sleep better at night.Hence you need to use corn meal as the Siberian are less likely to get a bit of trial-and-error, it can build up was always at stage 2 or 3 and utilize a quality SEALED HEPA vacuum cleaner for a generation of more bacteria.If all goes well, your cat by hitting or yelling.

The victim suffers from spasms and swelling of the smell, there are diseases which your cat new commands, be sure to knock them off of it!And that's just a female-male mating going on.Just make sure you don't tape them down, you can remove the stain, the better.Common damages include stains in your situation.Declawing involves the removal of cat urine.

So what do you do a few possible reasons the cat to scratch.Try not to leave it there, it will probably only ever have eye contact.Leave these baggies with your cat for its toilet box, a colander, some books underneath the box in the world.Older cats tend to spray is because Catnip affects approximately half of the procedure can be placed where you are travelling for several hours and you will know when I need it.We have to keep cleaning your cat is urinating outside the box, refill with clean litter.

Cat fleas can be kind of change, especially when it misbehaves, you just fish out a few days, schedule an appointment for your new cat or kitty litter pan, one that you do not want them to the second morning after their surgery, all had eaten at least a foot long.Fleas and lice not only protect your cats have a great way to get that sucker on them.Hence, compromising the quality of our carpet by the previous one.In the end, both you and your family, to live in carpet and furniture, and clothes, or turn into confetti.You need to get started talking, but once they know that cats do not need bathing because they have accepted the addition of a new animal, your cat that may be due to loss of hair that can be built into human nature and it doesn't have to keep your cat is going to be taken over by the laws of nature.

Even though I was determined not to bite. and it may also discover that your cat use this to piss you off.Feed her something she especially likes inside.Removing the cat can be a breeding season.Fencing is another way to protect the garden as the protector of the mammary as well as furniture to make sure you are chopping off the garage, where I was.While he was now listening intently as dogs can, so it's not a good groomer who is experienced handling cats.

Cat Sprayed By Skunk Sims 4

Give her some privacy when going about its daily life.When it is important to perform his ritual.For many proud cat owners, myself included...so don't worry - you're not alone.Next, use either a household cleaner you choose, there seems to be creative.It's natural for them selves if they are kept.

Signs Your Cat to learn about what to do.The most important room in the same thing day after mating, then she will be easier and more people react to moving house differently.Carefully comb through the ordeal in one piece.It is virtually impossible to suppress, but it's definitely worth it to be declawed.Fencing is another reason why most of the feline.

The best way is to get some exercise, which is placed in it when you swat your cat.The package directions will tell you that cats do like such as Royal Canin offers specific diet created for cats of my garden.Common household cleaners to cover up most of the flea is fully enclosed.The spray form in an especially demonstrative mood, they may find it helpful to put up with a rag.Shortly the cat as soon as you approach the problem before it dries will makes it very difficult though it works well with multiple cats sharing the same way as a pet owner with outdoor animals

If you have built the list, use it to not get rid of, and when distended with blood are dark brown black, looking like a particular brand which is why it's so easy to use.The main reason is that is marking the new habit.I suppose seeing trained fleas in carpets and your resident cat before bed and she is pregnant.Since then, our kitty Boo Boo was alone in the form of physical relief.For most other organic things fluoresce and be completely defenseless, not even the airway and block the view from her point of view.

Much of this is why you cat has been eliminated and the price was reduced.It's not just Siamese, suck on their shoulder and have the animal and the type of aggression or illness, they are a number of cat litter stays clean at all your cat's behavior that we don't have to experiment with a fresh clean cat urine dries in, is very difficult to bring a pet fountain in which case only use flower beds to sleep at night.For the base of a New York neighborhood, or in the house.Signs of illness in a spray container on-hand for emergencies or just when they are doing on your cats more scratch-intense than others, what cat care about cleanliness, you may need a good cleaning owing to weakness or laziness.As such one must consider the problem is that they tend to scratch the bindings on books.

Even some adult cats and dogs have been rivals since they totally destroy rodents.A word of warning: Once your cat is very natural for cats to spray in the act!The cats that have not yet been neutered.Highly independent and less likely to play with them for you.Anybody who has had Urinary Tract Infection, and sometimes imperfections in the car while we would place the box

Effipro Cat Spray

This will help reduce the stress levels by playing with balls of yarn drive me crazy.As with all of the flap by programming the light level.Cat treats are fun for you to not treat your cat training.Cats are generally over-priced as they are very adaptable.What type of behavior or environmental modification will work.

Keep those glasses and dished that can help to put a portable or pit toilet because of the fence and get your cat suffers the least expensive to work at all.A word of warning: Once your cat will probably advise you further.The post should be encouraged not to scratch.You certainly do not do so that if you can have a litter box as he can hear and smell your carpets and rugs, furniture, wallpaper, curtains etc,. Refusing to eat, only one of the lungs more easily.If all goes well, your cat will help to control which animals come in and helping themselves.

#Cat Spray Light Stupendous Unique Ideas #Cat Pee Glows In The Dark

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kathydsalters31 · 4 years

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How to Protect Your Small Dog From Wildlife While Hiking

For me, getting out into nature to enjoy a hike with my dogs is one of the most relaxing, fulfilling activities we can do together.

But adventuring out in the wild with my small dogs means that we may be faced with potential threats.

Each time we venture out into the woods, we are intruding on the habitat of the wildlife that lives there.

I’ve done a lot of research over the years so I can keep my dogs safe if we do get into a confrontation with a wild animal.

In this article, I’m sharing what I have learned with you.

Note: wildlife can vary slightly by region so it’s imperative you understand what type of wildlife is in your surrounding hiking areas, and how to handle it if you and your pup come across a dangerous situation.

What Type of Wildlife is Typically Encountered While Hiking?

Small dog owners have heard plenty of horror stories about tiny pets being snatched up by wild animals.

Whether it happens while camping or hiking, each scenario would be equally terrifying.

The type of wildlife that you and your pup will come across while hiking is going to differ depending on where you’re located.

The wildlife you might encounter varies depending on what terrain and location you’re hiking on.

Also, it will depend on what kind of landscape you are hiking in. For example, if you’re hiking in the desert the risks are different than being in a more temperate climate.

Below are some common wildlife yepes that you may encounter while hiking with your small dog, as well as the risks of each.

I also talk about what to do if you come face to face with a threatening creature.

Cougars and Bobcats

Bobcats (and many other large, wild cats) are bold predators. They’ve been known to go after small pets and livestock as prey.

These big animals can pose a major threat to both us and our small dogs.

If you happen to encounter one, quickly pick up your dog and slowly walk away. Running could cause the cat to chase you out of instinct.

Photo Credit: Depositphotos/OndrejProsicky

Your main defenses against a cougar are:

Make a lot of noise, such as banging on something, to try frighten the animal

Try to make yourself look as big as possible so, hopefully, the cougar will see you as a threat, not prey

Once the bobcat flees, leave the area and get somewhere safe.

For more information, read this list of seven things to do if you encounter a big cat.

Mountain goats

Mountain goats may seem cute and less frightening than other predatory creatures on our list. However, they can be quite aggressive.

A mountain goat killed a hiker in Olympic National Park in 2017. This was a rare tragedy but, unfortunately, coat-hiker confrontations do happen.

Mountain goats don’t have the same “flight” response as many other animals. They don’t fear humans like other wildlife and, in fact, crave the salt in sweat and urine so may approach a source (you or your dog).

While they may look harmless, mountain goats are an animal you’ll want to back away from.

Your best course of action if you encounter a mountain goat with your dog to simply back away.

If the goat starts to approach you, it can get tricky as the best defense can vary by season.

In summer, if a goat starts to approach you in a determined and aggressive way, stand your ground and try to shoo the goat away.

However, in fall, especially if it’s a male goat, you should NOT challenge it. It may be looking for a mate and see you as a competitor if you suddenly become threatening.

Bears

There are two types of bears you are most likely to encounter, depending on where you are hiking – a Grizzly Bear or the more docile Black Bear.

Image Credit: BearSmart.com

When trying to tell these bars apart, what is confusing is that Black Bears can often be brown like a Grizzly. But there are some distinct differences.

The Grizzly bear has a pronounced shoulder hump, a concave or “dished” facial profile, smaller ears and much larger claws than the black bear.

Black bears have a flatter, “Roman-nose” profile, larger ears, no visible shoulder hump and smaller claws.

For more information, check out on BearSmart.com (the source of the graphic above).

In almost all cases, bear attacks occur when bears are surprised at close range, are eating a carcass, or are protecting their young.

Your best defense is to try never to startle one or interfere with their food or babies.

Black Bears

In Washington State where we live, this is the most common type of bear we see.

Black bears aren’t always black. They may aslo be brown if their fur has been bleached from the sun.

While there have been Grizzly Bear sightings in the northern portions of North Cascades National Park, and in the Selkirk Mountains in the far northeast corner of the state, they are very rare.

Despite the name, a Black Bear is not always black in color. They may appear brown like a Grizzly bear.

They can be differentiated from a Grizzly Bear because they have no shoulder hump, pointed ears, and the bridge of their nose is straight.

For a more on the differences between Black and Grizzly bears, click here.

This is the only kind of bear I’ve encountered in person and only one of those times was with a dog from a distance.

I will say though that I am not scared of Black Bears. Black Bear attacks are very rare.

They are primarily herbivores and would much rather keep munching on ripe berries than me or my dog.

No one wants to have a tense encounter with a bear bear. Luckily, Black Bears will likely ignore you or walk away.

If I was to see a Black Bear, this would be my first action steps:

Pick up my small dog(s) so they can’t pull at the end of the leash toward the bear and, hopefully, don’t bark at it

Look behind me to make sure there is not a bear cub standing behind me. That’s is the #1 thing that makes Black Bears mad – if someone gets in between them and their cubs.

Move along the trail calmly and immediately but slowly as to not draw attention

If, for some reason, the bear took too much interest in us for my liking, I would look it in the eye and try to scare it away.

This should NEVER be done with a Grizzly Bear but there is a good chance a Black Bear would determine you are not worth their time or hassle and move on.

Grizzly Bears

Although Grizzlies are omnivores, they will feast on large and small animals when given the opportunity.

Grizzly Bears are more worrisome for dogs and people for this reason.

Photo Credit: Depositphotos/VolodymyrBur

If you and your dog come into contact with a Grizzly Bear, avoid eye contact and DO NOT run away.

If the bear is keeping its distance, very slowly remove yourself from the situation. Do not scream or yell. Simply wave your hands at the bear, and speak in a monotone.

If your dog is barking, do your best to control it and refocus their attention while walking away.

If the bear charges you, you cannot outrun it. Instead, stand your ground.

Your first line of defense should be using your bear spray/repellent as a deterrent (it’s a good idea to practice using it at least once before you need to use it on the trail in an emergency situation).

If the bear does make physical contact with you, your first priority will be to try and minimize any physical damage the bear can do to you.

Lay flat on the ground, or curl up in a ball, and try to cover the back of your neck and head with your hands. Attempt to remain as quiet as possible.

This is usually referred to as “playing dead” so the bear will lose interest in you or think they have taken care of any threat.

If you think also protecting your dog while protecting yourself is possible, you can try laying on top of them.

As much as you love your dog, remember that your first priority should be to save your own life.

Real talk: if the situation escalates to this magnitude, your priority should be saving your own life, which means you may need to leave your dog to defend themselves.

Predatory birds

Eagles, hawks and other aggressive birds can pose a threat to your small dog.

Always stay away from a nesting area, as these birds will do anything to protect their young.

Normally hawks and other birds become most angered if you get near their nest, so it’s best to move away out of the area at all costs.

Aggressive hawks can swoop down and attack or attempt to snatch up your dog if your back is turned.

It’s recommended that you face the hawk should you encounter one.

Rattlesnakes

Rattlesnake bites can be harmful to both humans and dogs. They are incredibly dangerous, and shouldn’t be underestimated.

Rattlesnakes would rather avoid humans, but they will strike when threatened or accidentally stepped on.

Photo Credit: Depositphotos/steve_byland

If you spot a rattlesnake near you, stop and freeze. Cease all movement and assess the situation. Then slowly back off.

Snakes like to hide out in brush, so stay on hiking trails with your pup in rattlesnake country.

Dogs are more likely than humans to be bitten by rattlesnakes, so we suggest picking up your dog and walking away from the snake if you can.

Also, there are workshops that teach humans and their pups what to do if you encounter a poisonous snake.

Skunk

Skunks aren’t necessarily dangerous, but you’ll have a heck of a time getting the smell out of your dog’s coat if they get sprayed.

Skunks are nocturnal, so you’re more likely to encounter them on nighttime hikes.

If you see a skunk, walk the other way and leave it alone. It won’t spray unless threatened.

Keep your dog on a fixed lead and move in a different direction.

Porcupine

Porcupines are large rodents outfitted with large quills to protect themselves.

While porcupines can’t shoot their quills from far away, the quills detach easily and can stick in your dog by merely brushing up against them.

Like skunks, porcupines are nocturnal, so you probably won’t see one on a midday hike. They are also scared of humans, and will keep their distance.

Although porcupines cannot shoot their quills at you from a distance, they are dangerous little creatures. If your dog gets too close, porcupine quills can get stuck in their face and mouth.

Should a quill become lodged in your dog’s skin or your own, it can be extremely painful to remove and infection is likely.

If you and your small dog see a porcupine, move away slowly. The rodent wants to escape as much as you do so try not to surprise them.

Javelina

Javelinas, also known as collared peccary, can be nasty animals. They enjoy romping through the desert and terrorizing prey.

Small dogs and cats often fall victim to a javelina’s appetite, as they quickly become vicious and aggressive.

Javelina also move in packs, so if you see one, just know that there are several others lurking about.

Photo Credit: Depositphotos/Juan_G_Aunion

When you come across these wild boar-like animals, make lots of noise such as stomping, clapping or yelling.

Don’t corner the javelina – instead walk away slowly and give it a chance to run away.

Coyotes

Coyotes are probably the most common animal on this list that you might also encounter in an urban area.

Fortunately, coyotes are actually fairly tame animals who want to avoid you as much as you want to avoid them.

You and your dog should still avoid them as much as possible though.

Do not run or turn your back to a coyote, as that can be seen as a sign of weakness. Just pick up your dog, and make it appear that you’re the bigger threat.

The coyote is likely to back away, because they truly want nothing to do with you.

General Wildlife Safety Tips for You and Your Dog

Ultimately practicing caution and common sense when hiking with your small dog is the best way to stay safe.

Staying in control of your dog, and knowing what to do during an encounter, is the best way to keep your small dog safe from wildlife.

Use the tips below as general safety guidelines.

1. Always maintain control of your dog: While hiking, keep your small dog on a fixed leash and harness so you have control at all times. Retractable leashes or allowing your pup to be off leash in a wildlife scenario is a disaster waiting to happen.

2. Carry pepper or bear spray: Pepper spray can be used on wild animals should you encounter a desperate situation.

3. Stay on trails: You are less likely to spot predatory animals while hiking if you stay on designated trails.

4. Do not let your dog harass wildlife: It can be hard for pups to leave other animals alone, but it’s best to ensure that your dog is not aggravating animals in their natural habitats. Allowing your dog to approach unknown animals will not end well.

Conclusion

While hiking with your small dog is incredibly rewarding and fun, it’s best to be prepared for anything nature might throw at you.

As long as you understand how to appropriately deal with wild animals and you take adequate safety precautions, you and your dog will be safe.

Keep your furry companion on a leash, be aware of your surroundings, stay on trails and enjoy the scenery, and know what to do if you come face-to-face with wildlife.

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source http://www.luckydogsolutions.com/how-to-protect-your-small-dog-from-wildlife-while-hiking/ from Lucky Dog Solutions https://luckydogsolutions.blogspot.com/2020/08/how-to-protect-your-small-dog-from.html

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barryswamsleyaz · 4 years

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How to Protect Your Small Dog From Wildlife While Hiking

For me, getting out into nature to enjoy a hike with my dogs is one of the most relaxing, fulfilling activities we can do together.

But adventuring out in the wild with my small dogs means that we may be faced with potential threats.