#this is satire I literally don’t care lmfao

[talkfastcal]

The locals on my Instagram are fake for not liking my post

[eoieopda]

My emojis tend to be based off pure vibes. A few examples:

😽✌🏻 -> recent combo. Is supposed to indicate this meme’s vibe? If that makes sense idk. (E.g., “haven’t studied but I’m writing tomorrow wish me luck 😽✌🏻”)

😭✋🏻 -> i use this a lot 😭✋🏻 (<- that right there is an example damn)

🤡 -> just general clown behavior. Typically used after a statement.

👀 -> intrigue, kind of a “wink-wink nudge-nudge” emoji.

🫂 -> virtual hugs, used only in serious situations

😭 -> this tends to be my “😂” emoji. Idk the “😂” feels too insincere so I either use the “😭” emoji or “lol”, “lmfao” or “lmao”. The funnier, the more “o”s and also it’s in full caps.

🫶🏻 -> these have been my emoji-replacement for the “<3” emoticon.

😌 -> satisfied, kinda proud (e.g., “finished all my tests so we can go out tomorrow 😌”)

🤨 -> jokingly judging/ questioning you. Think: “[sentence idk]” and then I reply with “oh is that so 🤨🤨🤨” usually to indicate my question or whatever is meant jokingly and not in the sense of “I don’t believe you” or “I’m attacking you” or something

💪🏻 -> mostly satire, kind of like the “we work” meme

🙂 -> passive aggressive. Emoji-equivalent of “:)”

🔪 -> warning 🔪🔪

😔 -> disappointment, but in a funny way. Usually paired with a “✌🏻” or “👊🏻”. Like the first meme, but more self-deprecating in a way. (E.g., “BTS has taken over my life, what can I say 😔👊🏻”

😪 -> statement that could come off as “oof that’s like a thing you can’t change that sucks” but I usually only use it when it relates to me bc yes. (E.g., “yeah, can’t be helped 😪”)

😤 -> aggressive love: “I love you… bitch 😤 and I ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, bitch 😤😤😤”

🫦 -> literally just a lip bite bc I do it too much irl. Meant as a joke (e.g., “damn that’s so sexy 🫦” when it could literally be the grossest shit idk)

✨ -> to add that extra ✨sparkle✨

🤷🏻‍♀️ -> bc sometimes, all you can do is shrug.

This is probably more in depth than you wanted or asked for and no one cares but I thought i’d share anyway 🤡🤡

Hope you’re doing well 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

- <3

omg no i love this lil glossary!!! the emojis people use say so much about them, so this was adorable insight into ✨han✨

[this-is-an-on-fire-garbage-can]

bodies bodies bodies. also im older.

i’m a different person but also the same kind of person. i still read webtoons lol. anyway i wanted to write some things about bodies bodies bodies because it’s getting complicated but i dont want to be witnessed, but also do. you know. also yes i know this movie is a hundred years in the past i dont care im talking about it

i wish bodies x3 wasn’t poisoned by lena wilson’s review - i think it deserves to be criticized and stand on its own. i also don’t really like how she reviewed it - like, they weren’t really. wearing sexualizing clothes, so to speak? 95 minutes of advertisements for cleavage feels egregious for a movie that really only has like, 5 minutes total of a pool scene

that said: onto my criticism

i think bodies x3 either needed to lean into the black comedy/absurdity more or into the satire more. i honestly sincerely think that a slasher was a great idea for a movie genre that needed an update - the high strung energy of being in a - and i know i sound like an old man - “hyperwoke” environment is very interesting, combined with - as many people have said - the kind of constant surveillance state we exist in. and the way that pushes people who might otherwise be normal assholes be like, nuanced assholes.

so, in my opinion, either it needed to poke more fun at how much we’ve pathologized ourselves. but then there’s also serious stuff, like how sophie says her friends learned she got sober and then went on with popping champagne and snorting coke. like, she has a point! even if she is the one that decides to be around them, and has bad commitment issues, and is a deeply bad girlfriend, it’s absolutely wild that nobody stopped to be like, maybe this isn’t how we should be treating our newly rehab-ed friend. and we only kind of have that language because therapyspeak is so prevalent.

but then on the other hand, there’s david, who literally accidentally slits his own throat because he’s having a stupid one-sided pissing contest with greg. that’s like... comedic. it’s hilarious that because he just cannot get over his masculinity being threatened to the point he accidentally kills himself and kicks of this paranoia fuelled nightmare. but - and i truly cannot emphasize this enough - this is also in a movie where sophie, who is terminally incapable of sincerity, sincerely makes a point about being triggered by people she’s kind of codependently attached to.

i guess maybe i think bodies x3 doesn’t decide whether it wants to be sincere or satirical - which is fine, i’m not demanding that every single movie has an easily digestible or even clear throughline to still be entertaining or good. but because it never leans into one or the other, it’s just vaguely confusing. i don’t want bodies x3 to reinvent the wheel or anything, but i also don’t want tradition.

i still really like it - in part because there’s a lot of new talent that i think would be a shame to put it down. i just think that - like do revenge - it’s very confused on how updating the movie would really change its dynamics. and, to be quite mean, i think it’s the boomerification of millenials. i think they haven’t quite figured out what gen z is about, and as a terminally online gen z, that’s a real shame.

p.s. i dont care if greg was innocent the way people keep slobbering over his existence is weird. he’s like double their age. he should’ve said no to alice lmfao the fuck

[riacte]

Idk if it’s just me but Reddit is pissing me off more and more. It literally was Not like this in Season 1.

Someone made a Fruitninja meme and the replies were all like “I don’t understand why everyone is so obsessed” and “honestly this duo doesn’t seem like the type I would go crazy for” (funnily enough that person had a “More Dream and CPK duo please” role).

I get that it’s tedious seeing the same meme over and over again for many months, then… just go off the subreddit lmfao. I was fucking TIRED of the Reddit being spammed with MCCP Pink with barely any info on the other teams so I just. Stopped looking for a week.

“Honestly fruitninja doesn’t seem like the content I would go crazy for, not saying it’s bad but I won’t go crazy” nobody asked. Literally nobody asked. It’s not even a constructive “there are too many Fruitninja memes and it’s tedious to scroll through the same thing every hour, can we agree to stop posting so much?”. I don’t care about the popular Dream and Tommy duo (because I don’t watch them) but I won’t go into posts about them whining “i DoNt liKe TheM I’m NoT liKe tHe oTher ObSeSsiVe McC fAnZ”. Just scroll pass.

Also I don’t think people understand satire and hyperbole. (English) Internet humor is pretty much always exaggerated. “Step on me” doesn’t mean you literally want someone to step on you. “Fruitninja or we riot” doesn’t mean we’ll throw a temper tantrum and cancel Scott and boycott MCC, it means we’ll just make memes and move the fuck on. Like someone a while ago took “do not separate” literally when it mostly means “this group of people are close to my heart and I like watching them interact” instead of “I do not allow them to Make New Friends”. Please… don’t take everything literally.

I understand if people see the “whining” and “complaining” as stupid, unnecessary, and immature, but… it’s just exaggerated. All those memes are supposed to make people laugh, so we exaggerate them to make the situation more ridiculous than it really is. It’s not like we’re spamming Scott’s inbox with Fruitninja. It’s not like we’re sending death threats to anyone. We do not expect anyone to take those “fruitninja in mcc17 I believe” posts seriously. It’s literally just exaggeration for our enjoyment, for the fandom’s enjoyment. It’s not that serious. At most, it’s just annoying to scroll pass, but many things are annoying to scroll pass.

Although to be fair, it probably is confusing seeing all these pretty strong language, especially for people who aren’t native in English. Maybe I’ve just spent too much time online that I get used to all the exaggeration.

This is why I vibe on tumblr, we don’t take things too seriously.

[mariaiscrafting]

liveblogging my reactions to quackity’s vod, 03/16/20

I’m two minutes in, and I’m already blown away. I feel like I’m watching a movie. This is giving me the same vibes as when I’d only watch story-based game playthroughs when I was, like, 14

How does a law student have the time to do all of this?

I am not going to stop grinning throughout this entire thing. Bad slowly turning me around, the Eggpire tower. This is already so good. How was this all achieved through Minecraft?

If Las Nevadas isn’t snowy, I’m going to be so disappointed

People: “Quackity’s content is for children.” Quackity: *writes that fucking book for his lore stream*

Schlatt: “Check your ego at the gate.” Quackity: *drops 32 diamonds* asd jklfadgag

What are the implications of Glatt being actually canon now? He only became a thing because he wanted to join Techno and Tommy’s VC to eat his Panda Express with company, back in December, right? And then he didn’t even join the game as Glatt until he was doing that random stream bit with Ranboo and Connor after Connor’s party, right? I love the continuing trend of random, throwaway bits/gaffes getting written into the actual lore.

Did Quackity accidentally walk into... the Afterlife...?

It is unbelievable that I’m actually analyzing the alcohol-related trauma someone can accrue because of their ex-partner’s alcoholic tendencies in a fucking Minecraft roleplay

This reads exactly like a plot where a woman deals with her boyfriend’s lowkey abusive shit. Getting scared of them returning to alcohol because of the memory of how creepy and violent they got because of it, getting belittled for their weight, casual objectification. This is a Minecraft roleplay, what am I doing with my life...?

Why does Schlatt actually speak good Spanish? His Spanish never fails to amuse me.

So let me get this straight. Mexican Dream’s design is canonically the same as Dream’s, just with a Mexican flag draped across his shoulders?

The chat spamming the Popcorn emote highkey makes me crave buttery, movie theater popcorn

Glatt canonically finds c!Wilbur attractive. Cool cool cool cool cool cool

Most of the SMP characters are sexually ambiguous. But c!Schlatt? Canonically gay, can’t convince me otherwise.

Someone tell me why I forgot that piedra means stone in Spanish

“For a minimum wage, $15?” Ah, socialist satire, my beloved/abhorred

The fade out as Quackity asks, “tell me what other adventures you have there”? *chef’s kiss* Poetic cinema.

“My job is not to keep visitors alive, it’s to keep Dream there.” Exactly.

Who cares if Dream won’t give anyone the book? Fuck it, I know it’s extremely morally reprehensible or whatever, but if I knew about the shit Dream has done to incite chaos, instigate violence, and kill and hurt Tommy, I’d drop all my morals and just fucking torture him until he gave the book up. Take it by force, who gives a fuck about this man anymore?

The problem isn’t that Sam thinks Quackity will let Dream out, why doesn’t Quackity get that? The problem is that Sam is terrified of letting Dream near anyone else again, given that Tommy was fucking killed last time, and Sam still blames himself for that.

This is the second time Quackity has been so damn compelling and good at acting that he actually made me forget, for a second, his true intentions. He actually convinced me, an audience member, that El Rapids griefed Eret’s Castle just because Eret killed Karl, who was peacefully protesting. And now, he actually managed to convince me that the reason he wanted to visit Dream was for others’ safety, because of Tommy’s death. God, both cc!Quackity and c!Quackity are very good at this.

“You think I’ll ever be in one of these?” Ooooohhh, foreshadowing?

Sam is pro-torture, let’s gooooooooo

This stupid Minecraft roleplay is causing quite a lot of cognitive dissonance in my supposedly ancom-leaning brain, which should be against the idea of retributive justice lmfao

“Did people think it was cool?” I am so ready for him to get tortured. I’ve seen the spoilers, I know what’s coming. I don’t give a fuck, fuck his ass up, Q

“I’m the book.” That’s why he sees himself as a God. He literally holds the secrets to reserruction within his head.

I am getting mega Read Dead Redemption vibes, I love this so fucking much. Or, like, Joel from TLOU vibes. c!Quackity is a certified BAMF, I fucking love it

He has Dream’s blood on him...

I can’t stop saying “it’s just so good” under my breath. I am so blown away.

My mouth is gaping open. What in the world. That felt like a transcendent experience. I simply don’t have enough words.

[blackradandmad]

please do not try to analyze or start discourse on this lmfao im just admitting my enjoyment of dumpster fires, but my least feminist trait is being obsessed with and keeping up with trisha paytas. my feelings for her aren’t even positive or negative, they’re just... visceral curiosity and fascination at this point. i mean, she just came out with these skits with her fiance that are very PSA-like, cheesy, and shallowly positive messages with her monologuing about like, being nice to immigrants or fat people or something at the end. and they’re soooo fucking horrible and i really can’t tell if they’re satire or genuine but they all seem like poorly acted p*rn intros. i literally don’t endorse nor do i really care about anything problematique she’s done and i don’t think she’s a super genius of performance art but like no one else in the LA influencer sphere will ever come close to giving us the complete unhinged spectacle that is trish

[jamaisjoons]

so much to digest here,,,,,, so much to think about,,,, so much that I literally don’t care about because it’s the classic white victimisation complex,,,,,,,

anyway for the above anons:

1) the entire post is satire there’s literally no reason to get so angry about it. like if you’re offended over something that is so clearly a joke,,,, i really don’t even know what to say but sadly I’m not going to apologise for it. because. it is. a joke. the fact that I used ‘disgostin’ instead of ‘disgusting’ and the fact that I used the emojis only highlights the fact that it is, in fact, a joke. also re: body shame. I literally wrote an entire tag ‘no shame to pink nipples’ and ‘in all seriousness there’s nothing wrong with pink nipples and you’ve no reason to be insecure’ but you’ve clearly chosen to ignore that to fuel and justify ur own misplaced anger so I’m sorry if I can’t bring myself to give a shit 💖

2) 😐 I can’t believe I had to read that entire second asks with my whole two eyes. yeah I’m mad at the lack of representation of dark nipples literally never said I wasn’t. and also fuck you lmfao it’s not just lack of representation. it’s the fact that whenever people describe or draw nipples (sometimes even on POC which I’m not even going to get into) the default is pink or a similar light af shade. do you have any idea how damaging it is to constantly read about ‘petite blush pink nipples’ or ‘pretty pink nipples’ or anything of the sort when you can’t relate. do you have any idea how hard it is growing up because all the representation around you in any form of media romanticises and beautifies white features? no. you don’t. and you never will. and you see how angry and hurt you get over one. joke. about pink nipples being disgusting? now imagine being a poc and going through that all your fucking life. except it’s not a joke and it’s your reality.

3) y’all will sit here and call a woc a bully just because I reblog one. joke. and make a few. clearly satirical. comments that are. negative. about your fucking pink ass nipples and yet y’all will be blind to every other fucking atrocity in the world acting as if I’m the worst person alive. no one in the history of ever has called y’all’s pink nipples ugly seriously. in fact, they’re constantly lorded as beautiful and the ideal. so keep your fucking white victimisation to yourself. I literally don’t care about it and nor will I ever care about it. not when poc spend their entire lives fucking feeling ashamed by their own bodies just because they’re poc and don’t have ur white-romanticised-features.

some of y’all really need to take a long hard look at yourselves and confront the racism you express because this may not project as blatant racism but it’s still fucking racism in the form of microaggressions. you would think that in this generation and with everything we’ve seen this year that you would actually educate yourselves. but clearly. some of y’all have chosen to stick your pasty faces in the ground and pretend you’re not the problem or that the problem doesn’t exist.

to these two anons:

to the anon on the left: I’m sorry you feel that way but I can guarantee you no one in the history of ever actually thinks your white-features are disgusting. I can guarantee you the the percentage of people who think your classically white features are beautiful to the ones who don’t is incredibly skewed to the former. you talk about how you wish POC features are praised without saying yours are disgusting. how do you think East Asians feels when people make fun of their eyes. how do you think south Asians feels when people say things like ‘wow you’re so pretty for a ____’. how do you think black people feel when their told their hair is unprofessional or gross or whatever? and those are only to name a few examples. like I’m sorry you wish people would stop calling your features disgusting (which I can gurantee you again is most likely a joke) but when the entire world typically shows that whites people are the standard of beauty. how do you think poc feel.

to the anon of the right: it probably doesn’t feel good to see it. but it also doesn’t feel good to grow up in a society and a world where the standard beauty are white-centric features. the shape and size of your boobs have nothing to do with POC and like with the top anon I can assure you no one will ever even bat an eyelid if they ever saw your pink nipples because that is literally what is considered normal. you’re 18+ (you better be if you’re on my blog) and only now considering that people may not like your pink nipples and you’re only now potentially starting to be insecure about it. it’s nothing compared to all the poc who grow up with that insecurity. it’s nothing compared to the poc who literally go their entire lives feeling ashamed and insecure and hating their bodies.

anyway this is so so so much more effort than I was gonna give to this post but also I’m pretty much done with all I wanna say. any more about it will just be blocked and deleted 💖

[skinks]

hi!!! what are your favourite movies? like actually good ones but also any trashy comfort movies? is IT (2017) one of them?

Hello!! IT (2017) IS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THEM oh man, thank you for this, I love talking about movies!!!! This is possibly the most difficult question you could have asked me. Apologies for how absolutely off the rails this got, I just... love movies so much lmao

I’ve said this before, but opening night of IT ch1 was the best cinema experience I’ve ever had, I’m so glad I got to see it with a fully packed audience who were all laughing and screaming together the whole way through. I’m a huge fan of... everything ch1 was doing, the 80s nostalgia, the summer-coming-of-age themes, the solid ghost train funhouse JOY of the Pennywise performance and scares, the washed-out cinematography, the tiny background details to make everything that much more eerie, the kids’ ACTING?!

Like, a lot of the time I find child actors can be really awkward and stilted to watch, but I remember leaving the cinema really impressed by JDG and Sophia Lillis in particular. I liked that they were all allowed to be little shitheads with potty mouths, it felt like a callback to 80s movies like The Lost Boys or Stand By Me. The whole thing worked to make me really care about what happened to the kids (even if I do still have issues with how they handled Mike. I understand even ch1 had limitations with juggling so many characters, but still). I saw it another 2 times in the cinema and have rewatched it at least, I dunno, 7-10 more times since then?

Add to all of that the retroactive CANON R+E baby pining subplot? I just love it, as if that wasn’t obvious by now given my Whole Blog. It’s a really special movie to me!

Anyway!! Ok, the main handful of movies I rewatch all the fucking time are:

Back to the Future, The Lost Boys, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Jaws, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Ocean’s 11, POTC 1, The Dark Knight, Inception, Die Hard, LOTR trilogy, Snatch, The Nice Guys, Logan Lucky, Mad Max Fury Road, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Billy Elliot, Dirty Dancing, Tomb Raider (2018)...

Those are the easily consumable ones that I’ve seen so many times I don’t really have to concentrate or think about them, but I really love them and unfortunately often KEEP rewatching them instead of new stuff. It would take too long to go into why I love all these movies so much because I could write the same amount as I already did for ITCH1, and everyone already knows why those movies are good, so, lol.

I think I’m gonna have to subdivide and categorise this whole post because there are too many separate criteria for... goOD MOVIES, AUUHH 😩

Okay so first off, HORROR MOVIES? I’m especially in love with Re-Animator (1985) and its sequel Bride of Re-Animator, they’re such good examples of camp and batshit 80s practical effects, and also EXTREMELY funny. I’m actually just gonna post my list of my fave horror movies that I do actually keep on my phone at all times lmao. These are in no particular order:

Wholeheartedly recommend every one of these. I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was watching Hereditary in the cinema, hoo boy. Mother! by Aronofsky is one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had (and I actually saw it on the same day I saw IT ch1 for the first time!! That was a fun day)

Psycho (1960) and The Fly from 1986 should also be on there but I couldn’t fit them in the screenshot.

I’m a HUGE fan of a ton of martial arts movies too, like Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, Ip Man, The Raid movies, John Wick 3 is my fave of the trilogy, Drive from 1997 with Mark Dacascos is incredible, SPL 2, Ong-Bak, Operation Condor, Project A, Iron Monkey, and Zatoichi (2003) are some favourites.

My favourite Tarantino is Reservoir Dogs, fave Coen brothers are Raising Arizona, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and O Brother Where Art Thou. Love some old-timey colour correction and weird offbeat dialogue. I also love Goodfellas!!! And Donnie Brasco! And The Firm, I’m so easy for any good crime/law/gangster/heist procedural like that, especially if they’re from the 80s or 90s in a super dated way.

Fave Disney movie is Tarzan, favourite Ghibli movies are Spirited Away and Lupin III. I remember watching Spirited Away during a thunderstorm one time and it being.... god! Transcendent! Favourite Pixar movie is The Incredibles (the first one. ALSO the documentary “The Pixar Story” is great and well worth a watch, it’s very comforting for some reason) and my favourite Dreamworks movies are HTTYD1 and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron.

I tend to watch more anime movies than tv shows, so stuff like Akira, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Summer Wars, Journey to Agartha, and my ultimate fave anime is Sword of the Stranger (2008). The climactic fight in that movie is fucking stunning and should be counted in “bests fights” lists right alongside anything live action

Also if we’re talking animated movies another hearty favourite is Rango, and a Belgian stop-motion (which at one time I considered my favourite movie ever) called Panique Au Village (2009) which is one of the funniest movies ever made imo.

As for TRASHY movies, I’m not sure if that’s the right word for how I feel about these ones but.. dumb/silly/slightly guilty pleasure movies? Ones that I feel need some kind of justification lmfao

Troy - something u must know about me is that I’m a giant slut for the Assassin’s Creed franchise, so if a movie smashes historical and mythological nonsense together with fun costumes and sword fights, I’m gonna enjoy myself. Even if they should have made Achilles and Patroclus gay. Other movies in this vein are King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, and Immortals (2011)

Gods of Egypt - I know all the reasons this movie is whitewashed bullshit. But it was already bullshit with giant Anubis mecha and giant snakes and bad acting and ridiculous CGI and frankly I had a blast at the cinema (my friend who I forced to come with me did not have a blast. Sorry H***)

Avatar - yes, the one with the big blue people. This movie gets a lot of flack nowadays but I really do enjoy it just for the spectacle. The full CGI world technology was so new at the time and I love to wallow in the visuals and daydream about riding a cool dragon around in the jungle

George of the Jungle - I’ll defend this movie to the death ok this movie shaped me as a person, it is fucking hilarious and Brendan Fraser is the himbo to end all himbos. It’s perfect. The song Dela is perfect. I still want to write a reddie AU about it. It’s one of the best movies ever made and I’m not being ironic

Set It Up - I KNOW this is a dumb Netflix original romcom but consider this; it was funny and the leads had great chemistry. I got butterflies. I once watched it and then literally immediately set it back to the start so I could watch it again

The Brady Bunch Movie - when people talk about great satires or parodies you will see them bring up the same movies over and over again, Blazing Saddles, This Is Spinal Tap etc, but they never talk about The Brady Bunch Movie from 1995 for some reason, which they should. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and every time i watch it somehow it gets funnier

Some more general favourites that I do still love but don’t rewatch as often, and don’t wanna go into more detail about are:

Moon (2009), Crna Mačka Beli Mačor, The Sixth Sense, Parasite, The Handmaiden, Tremors, Wet Hot American Summer, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt For the Wilderpeople, The Secret of My Success (I love kitschy 80s movies, is that obvious by now), The Green Mile, When Harry Met Sally, Rear Window, The Odd Couple, Breaking Away, Pan’s Labyrinth, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Eagle, Gladiator, The Artist, The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec, Call Me By Your Name, Master and Commander, Pacific Rim, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Legend (1985), Emma. (2020), Flash Gordon, Trolljegeren, Hross í Oss, Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, WarGames, District 9, Ajeossi (2010), Tracks (2013), Sightseers, Mud (2012), Pitch Black, Four Lions, Shaun of the Dead, Starship Troopers, The Truman Show, Withnail & I....... Jesus Christ ok I need to stop

NOTABLE EXTREME FAVOURITES that I didn’t include in the regular rewatch list because they’re too heavy/not as well known/require more attention.:

Thin Red Line (1998), Badlands (1973) both dir. Terrence Malick

Malick’s brand of dreamy impressionistic filmmaking is something I find really appealing, both of these movies are gorgeous and unusual and poignant and, in the case of Thin Red Line at least, have a lot of things to say about a lot of rough subjects. I don’t totally understand all those things sometimes, but a theme with a lot of my favourite movies is that I’ll be more likely to love something long-term if it raises unanswered questions, or is surreal/esoteric etc. Plus the cinematography is incredible, and I wish there was a way to get Jim Caviezel’s narration from The Thin Red Line as an audiobook because it’s very poetic and soothing.

Let the Bullets Fly (2010) dir. Jiang Wen

This movie is WILD, it’s so much fun. It’s sprawling and intricate and epic and smart and really fucking funny, it! Has! Everything! A gang of very tolerant outlaws!! Jiang Wen’s beautiful broad chest!!! Chow Yun Fat absolutely DECIMATING the scenery, and the two of them outsmarting each other in order to gain control of a small Chinese town!!! Plus it’s long, but it packs so much nonsense and intrigue that it goes by really fast. Wow what a flick

A Field in England (2013) dir. Ben Wheatley

I know I included this in my horror list but aaaaahhh ahhhh Wheatley is one of my favourite directors (he also made Sightseers, and is directing the Tomb Raider sequel which makes me absolutely rabid.) This is a surreal black-and-white psychological horror black comedy set in the English Civil War about some deserters who may or may not meet the Devil in a field. People eat mushrooms. It’s bonkers. I love being blasted in the face with imagery that I don’t understand

Mandy (2018) dir. Panos Cosmatos

Speaking of being blasted in the face!!!!! This movie... I saw it in the cinema and I can’t even begin to explain the experience, but I’ll try. My favourite review site described it like this:

“...somewhere between a prog album cover come to life and a metal album cover come to life, and subscribes to both genre's artistic tendency towards maximalism: what it ends up being is basically naught else but two glorious hours of being pounded by bold colors...”

So, prog and metal are my two favourite genres of music. This movie opens with the quote “When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead.” and then a King Crimson song, it is SURREAL to the nth degree, it’s violent and bizarre and Nic Cage forges a giant silver axe to destroy demonic bikers and there is a CHAINSAW DUEL. A galaxy swirls above a quarry. Multiple animated horror nightmare sequences. At one point a man says “you exude a cosmic darkness” and releases a live tiger. At another point Cage says, in a digitally deepened voice, “The psychotic drowns where the mystic swims. You’re drowning. I’m swimming.” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for two years

Paper Moon (1973) dir. Peter Bogdanovich

Really fantastic movie set in the Great Depression (and also in black & white) about a conman and a little kid who may or may not be his daughter, running cons across the Midwest. It’s beautifully shot, so sharp and sweet and the progression of their dynamic is really well done because they’re played by an IRL father and daughter. Tatum O’Neal was NINE YEARS OLD and she’s so amazing in this movie she’s actually the youngest person to win a competitive category Oscar. I keep trying to get people to watch this fbdjfjdbf it’s wonderful

Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes

THIS MOVIE IS A VICTIM OF BAD MARKETING ok, the trailers made it look like some twee crappy sentimental Boy And His Dog Adventure, plus it had voiceovers in American-accented english? That’s a total disservice to one of the coolest things about this film; the fact that they got a linguist to construct an entirely original Neolithic language that all the characters speak for the entire runtime. And yes, it is eventually a Boy And His Wolf adventure, but it’s COOL and fairly brutal, and it has some really incredible cinematography. The landscapes are so strange and barren and alien, you really get the sense that this is an ancient world we no longer have any connection to. And it’s also about like, the birth of dog & human companionship sooo it’s perfect.

Free Solo (2018) dir. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

The Free Climbing Documentary. I loved climbing as a kid, I love outdoor sports, and I love movies that elicit a physical reaction in me, whether that’s horny, scared, real laughter, overwhelming shivers, or in the case of Free Solo - HORRIBLE SWEATING TENSION. Like, I knew about Alex Honnold beforehand because of this adventure film festival I go to every year and I followed him on IG so obviously I knew he lived, but the actual climb itself was torture. My hands sweat every time I see it!! It’s incredible, such a cool look into generally what the human body can do, and more specifically, why Honnold’s psychology and life means he’s so well suited to free soloing. It’s such an exercise in getting to know an individual and get invested in them, before they attempt something very potentially fatal.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

I can’t even talk about this. When I was around 13 I snuck downstairs to watch this on TV at 11pm in secret, and my life was forever changed. I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t seen Brokeback at the age I did. I seriously can’t talk about this or I’ll write an even longer essay than this already is

God’s Own Country (2017) dir. Francis Lee

The antidote to Brokeback Mountain, I’m so glad I managed to see this one in the cinema too. It makes me cry every time, as someone who’s spent years working on a cold British farm with sheep it was very realistic, which is expected since Lee grew up on a farm in Yorkshire. I love that this movie isn’t really about being closeted, but about being so emotionally repressed and self-loathing that the main character finds it so hard to accept love. Or that he deserves to be loved. The cinnamontographies.... lordt... but also the intimacy and sex scenes are fucking searing wow who hasn’t seen this movie by now. 10 stars. 20 stars!!!

Tomboy (2011) dir. Céline Sciamma

I saw this years ago but I’ve never forgotten it, it cut so deep. It’s from the director of Portrait of a Lady on Fire and it’s about a gnc kid struggling with gender and misogyny and homophobia in a really raw, scrappy way, it reminded me very much of my own... childhood... ahh the central performance is amazing for such a young age. I haven’t seen Portrait yet but I feel like if you went nuts for that, you should definitely check this out, it’s lovely.

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS MOVIE I UNDERSTAND LESS AND LESS and that’s what I love so much about it. I love surreal movies, I love time-fuckery and stuff about altered perception etc etc and Donnie Darko scratches all my itches. I wish I could find a way to figure out an IT AU for it, because I know it would work! Somehow! Plus it’s got the subdued 80s nostalgia and I found it at an age when I was really starting to explore movies and music and the soundtrack FUCKS.

Offside (2006) dir. Jafar Panahi

I wish more people knew about this!!! It’s an Iranian film about a disparate group of women and girls who are football fans and want to watch Iran’s qualifying match for the World Cup, but women aren’t allowed into the stadium, so they all get thrown into the Stadium Jail together? They don’t know each other beforehand, but it’s about their changing relationships with each other and the guards and just, their defiance alongside hearing the match from the outside and WOW it’s so lively. Great dialogue and very funny, and such a different kind of story from anything you usually see from Hollywood.

The Fall (2006) dir. Tarsem Singh

This movie... I guess it’s the ideal. This is the platonic ideal of a film for me, it has fantasy, magical realism, glorious visuals, amazing score and costumes and production design and a really interesting, heartbreaking relationship at the core of it. I don’t know why so many of my favourite films feature incredibly raw performances by child actors but this is another one, Catinca Untaru barely knew any English and improvised so much because of that, and it’s fascinating to watch! Also the dynamic with Lee Pace is one of my favourites, where a kid forms a friendship with a guardian figure who isn’t their parent, but the guardian grows to really care for them by the end. It’s like Paper Moon in that sense. What is there to even say about this movie, it’s pure magic joy tempered and countered by genuine gutwrenching emotional conflict in the real world, it’s also ABOUT old moviemaking, in a way, and it’s stunning to look at!

Mad Max Fury Road (2015) dir. George Miller

I know I included this in my “most rewatched” section but it deserves its own thing. We all know why this movie is fucking incredible. I remember clutching my armrests in the cinema and feeling like my skeleton was being blasted back into the seat behind me and tbh that is the high I’m constantly chasing when I go to see any movie. What a fucking gift this film is

Théo et Hugo dans le Même Bateau (2016) dir. Olivier Ducastel, Jacques Martineau

I only found this movie last year and it became an instant favourite. Initially I was just curious because I’d never seen a movie with unsimulated sex before, but it’s so much more than the 18 minute gay sex club orgy it opens with. No, not more than, AS WELL AS. The orgy is important because this movie is so candid and frank about sex and HIV treatment in the modern day, it was eye-opening. Another thing that really got me is that I’d never seen a real-time film before. It’s literally an hour and a half in the lives of these two men, their intense connection and conversation and conflict in the middle of the night in Paris, with some really nice night photography and just!!! Wow!!! AMAZING CHEMISTRY between the actors. This is such a gem if you’re comfortable with explicit sexual content.

Ok. This is already over 3k but film is obviously one of my ridiculous passions and I can and do talk about it for hours. I’ve been reading magazines about it for years, listening to podcasts and reading review blogs and recently, watching video essays on YouTube because the whole process is so interesting to me and I want to learn more!!

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of valuing form over narrative. The idea that story can often come second to the deeper physical experience and emotional reaction that’s created by using ALL the elements of filmmaking and not just The Story, y’know? Whether that’s editing, shot composition, colour, the sound mix, the actors, how it should all be used to heighten the emotional state the script wants you to feel. And so, I think for a few years now this approach has been influencing the types of films I really, really love.

I think I love surreality and mind-bending magical realism in films specifically because the filmmakers have to use all those different tools to convey things that can be way too metaphysical for just... a script? I’m always chasing that physical response; if a movie can make me stop thinking “I wonder what it was like to set up that shot” and instead overwhelm that suspension of disbelief, if I can be terrified or woozy or crying for whatever reason, that’s what I’m looking for. That’s why I watch so many fuckin movies, and why I’ll always remember nights like seeing IT (2017) for giving me another favourite.

Thank you again for this question, I didn’t mean to go so overboard. Also there’s no way to do a readmore on tumblr mobile so apologies to anyone’s dashboard 😬

[tonyglowheart]

@imaginaryelle replied to your post:*me sipping tea* (x)

I would really enjoy seeing more of your thoughts on this, if you ever want to share them.

:’) a lot of my thoughts are salty rants and I’m TGCF on main right now so uhhh not at the moment but if you wanna hmu on like a chat thing of some sort I probably will eventually rant about my dislike of The MXTX Antis and the Problematic Culture people and the purity culture wank :’)

actually you know what, since I’m a parody of myself and I’m like always mood of "and another thing,” I’m just going to. go for it ig

so my biggest thing, is with the MXTX antis/MDZS wank/MXTX wank. is like....god it FRUSTRATES me so fckn much lmfao in so many ways and on so many levels.  like listen. I’m not saying there isn’t stuff to critique in MDZS. But there’s people who are first off: critiquing the writing quality, when I’m like “there’s like a 90% chance you’re reading the EN translation, and probably from ExR, and honestly I know it’s not fandom etiquette to critique fan content bc we’re all doing this for free out of passion, BUT I do, in fact, have some major issues with ExR’s translation quality, and also I lowkey feel like they have a strong traditional yaoi bias and sometimes it leaks through in how they handle certain things.” Big mood of this twitter thread about how when you’re reading in TL you can’t be criticizing the writing bc you’re already reading it filtered and like. you gotta consider things like the TL’s own personal biases or takes, etc. Which I feel like some people don’t in their critique, or at least they don’t take the time to acknowledge it and instead start spinning off into more and more impassioned reactions to perceived slights or faults.

The other thing is like. I admit when I first read MDZS - which I did while simultaneously watching bc I was kind of using CQL as a vehicle to get into MDZS, I had the HARDEST time trying to read ExR’s translation when I was going into it cold many many many moods ago rip - I was also squicked out by the explicit scenes shown. It did remind me a lot of traditional yaoi tropes, and I wasn’t into it. HOWEVER I was also a psych major, and I want to point out that the T/N’s do read to me as having a strong yaoi bias, and also before ExR redid their site they had large “SERVING YAOI AND BL” banners on EVERY page lol. And I think that also primes people to see things a certain way. (I just. am :/ about ExR also bc like... their whole vibe as a “yaoi scanlator” and also I. can’t be sure the TL wasn’t 17 when they were tl’ing it lmfao,,  and they did the whole rant - which fine they apologized for, but I think sort of reflects on a general attitude still w/ the team - about how some other TL had bad quality or something, but their existing TL has a lot of clunky English phrasing and actually a lot of editing issues, too, I was creating myself a back-up copy from their site and like google docs was already catching a bunch of typos and tense issues and such :’) and that’s beyond clunky EN translation phrasing. I just am like. they have a patreon lol, so I can’t say ExR is doing it wholly not-for-profit/dollars, and also like... it’s not like they’re licensed? I get that within scanlation circles, there’s an etiquette of “first come first serve,” but with translation, I think fans are only served with more translations? but I also care about the original work lol, I mean I get the vanity of “I want MINE to be the AUTHORITATIVE tl” bc I feel that mood too, but also I’m like. fam you didn’t bid for a license lmao.)

But yeah like. My petty gripes with ExR aside lmfao, I think when you look at WangXian, the whole “it’s yaoi tropes” gets really strawman. Like from a Watsonian perspective, I mean like... both WWX and LWJ really ARE useless virgins, lol, WWX’s first kiss was stolen by LWJ and his whole idea of sex comes from porn; LWJ is GusuLan and like. yeah. Who is teaching them about lube? certainly not porn. (but this also gets into the whole. like people saying explicit material is “problematic” because it doesn’t show “realistic” sex and I’m like. fam it’s smut, not a sex manual.) And like... they’re both kinky and WWX has a pregnancy kink, and like... good for them I guess?

From a more Doylist perspective..... I think for me, I’m like. well why not? gay media doesn’t have to be uwu to be “Valid,” and like, the people who start attacking mxtx personally because of the way she chose to write WangXian, or saying she’s homophobic because of WangXian or she doesn’t have the range... I already Know they didn’t read TGCF or SV lol. (and yeah SV is more “problematic” but I also think it’s VERY genre aware and both satirizes and also plays with and subverts some of the typical genre “problematic” things. not everything, but like. again the whole idea that non-mainstream media needs to be held to a higher standard to not be cancelled? I don’t hold by that). [But more on the Doylist thing: it’s dumb to me that people react like it’s a moral failing of non-straight works if they don’t fit EXACTLY their personal idea of what a thing should be. And this comes up EVERY time there’s some new thing. hell it’s not even just lgbt-related stuff; Hamilton, Crazy Rich Asians, etc all had nitpicking. Which again, isn’t invalid! but also like. :/ because we DON’T have enough representation right now to pick, and my take is always: the solution is to get to the point where we can pick and choose and can afford to have bad media just like the straights/whites do :’)]

The thing about WWX and LWJ is neither of them, as they’re written in canon, fit within “traditional yaoi” seme/uke stereotypes. The kiss I see people rail against as “dubcon” and also their sex scenes but I’m like. yeah I think it’s fine to say it’s not your cup of tea but to say that that makes them traditional yaoi rapey tropes I’m like. Fam that’s not it lol. LWJ is shown as being SO incredibly responsive and attentive to WWX’s wishes and desires. I mean that’s examples of his passion exploding out, but we consistently see LWJ being respectful of WWX’s wishes and autonomy even when it like. fucks him/them over :’) like when WWX was so hell-bent on hurtling down the mo’dao route :’)

plus also WWX literally fantasizes about them retiring as farmers and he’s the one out working the fields and LWJ is staying at home weaving lol, like c’mon, ya wanna talk gender roles, let’s talk about this.

the other thing is the whole mxtx anti stuff about “she’s homophobic” and “she’s a filthy fujo” and I think there’s issues that people aren’t considering, which I don’t know as much about but I feel like it informs my consideration of mxtx - such as like... not everyone’s internet is as wide open as, like, the West. I don’t know so much about Chinese censorship other than it exists, but I’m like. I think this would affect people’s access to resources which would inform them about how things work/where people are with LGBT thought? It reminds me of when young tumblr kids trash talk older queer people for using terms they see as “problematic” now, and I’m like “you really gotta pause a moment of (1) have some empathy (2) consider the person’s individual personal and cultural context.” MDZS wasn’t made for a Western audience in mind lol, it’s not going to reflect Western values! And China has a different history with its LGBT progression and it’s m/m media, which I don’t know enough about to comment specifically, but I think it’s incredibly disingenuous to judge it based on Western standards. A lot of people probably don’t realize they are! in that it doesn’t even occur to them, which is why they feel so free with their judgment! But also I’m like. lowkey THAT’s a problem for me bc of like. cultural imperialism lmfao. and also reflective of EN-language imperialism, when people are judging EN tl’s they’re seeing on face value without realizing or considering that they’re...reading... a translation... and that translations are NOT in fact direct one-for-one and that there’s a LOT of considerations that go into both translating and reading a translation of a work.

I think the points antis pull up against MXTX is like... stuff she’s said before in interviews - and I don’t know from when, but I imagine years ago at this point - where she was asked about shipping the other characters in MDZS, and she said something I think about how to her, she wants to write in a way that “preserves realism” or maybe she believes in (I only read a TL of it, so I hold the exact phrasing with a grain of salt), and for her, not everyone is gay so she doesn’t write all of her named characters gay. and I’m like. whatever that’s her prerogative as the author. And I think there’s also something that I don’t know if it’s an official “rules”/”guidelines” she wrote bc again I’ve only seen secondhand/thirdhand sources, but it’s something mxtx-antis also quote, where she said to not break up the main couples and also don’t “reverse” them. but again when we’re getting into the shou/gong dynamics, that’s where I don’t feel comfortable commenting because I don’t know enough about the sociopolitical implications of these terms and how they interact within that fandom/community subset. But I do think people need to be taking the stuff they read - ESPECIALLY if they’re only reading it in EN - with a grain of salt. or like a big ol pinch of it. 

edit: I know more about this now lmao and I know exactly which question people use piecemeal of vilify her. Here’s a recent-ish translation someone did. Read it through - the WHOLE thing, and think about the wider context.

But also in general I just don’t think anyone is valid when we start getting into ad hominems lol. Especially when I feel like they’re not really taking a moment to consider what wider contexts and influences might be at play and instead are playing Tumblr telephone with outrage and virtue signalling

sidebar: I also fucking HATE CQL purists lmfao. I don’t feel like I’ve seen or encountered anyone saying CQL fans are less valid than novel fans except in the sense of CQL fans getting defensive about their dislike of the novel - which, whatever, people have opinions - or decision not to read the novel and saying anyone saying they HAVE to read the novel is gatekeeping - which I hold to less but mostly bc I think it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of fan language, some of us say you HAVE to read it not in a neckbeard way but in a I’m so desperately passionate and I want more people to know about this way, kind of like how the “I hate you” in fan language GENERALLY means “I love it so much and I can’t stand it”? - but I HAVE seen people say the novel “ruined” wangxian, or CQL people who seem to be like... purity-wanking, like idk if you were around but god after Infinity War and the number. of fckn ironstranges. posting in the tags. about “love how healthy our ship is” and I’m like. this is still anti culture/purity wank but the other side of the coin 8). I encounter sometimes this lowkey attitude of CQL (or other adaptations) “redeeming” MDZS from the author, and I’m like. y’all are wack lmfao. There’s people wiht MDZS or even TGCF main, and they hate mxtx? and they say shit like “mdzs was only good on accident”? and I’m like. can you just leave lmfao. if you hate her then why are you here. (bc they’ve mental gymnastics this into a virtue ethics thing about “o the work is good and therefore morally fine but the parts I don’t like are because mxtx is morally bad and unworthy and tainted it, and CQL with its Purity has Redeemed it” but I’m like. this is because of censorship lmao. The team did a FANTASTIC job working the character dynamics and story, but like it also is directly because of censorship.)  

like I... have more thoughts than this lmfao bc ofc I do, but anyway, here’s... some of them lol

[tariah23]

Cancel culture has it’s BIG issues and it CAN suck ass because of how some people like to weaponize it and take certain individuals and their situations out of context without even getting the whole story first while immediately attacking them (this aligns with Callout Culture, too...? They’re kind of the same thing but not) butttttt I don’t like how some people just flat out act as if it’s the most evil thing in existence and that some people don’t deserve to be booted no matter how awful they are. There’s context to be looked at and every situation is different. When they totally excuse the fact that some people are gross even though they should actually be tossed into the bushes for being ya know, probably a pedo, a hardcore racist, a colorist or whatever like do these same ppl go on about how cancel culture is just 100% (tbh, it’s 50/50 for me) plain BAD think about the legitimate shitty people that deserve to get their asses desolved inside of an oven or what. You can’t defend everyone like why die on THESE kind of hills. Then people like to bring up the “omg, why should we care about what someone said 20 years ago” and this and that and like... of course people do change over time but if they’re in the public eye, you can usually tell if they’re sincere and ARE sorry about what they’ve said if you don’t see them behaving and talking in the same manor as they used to. *cough* Tyler, The Creator *cough* (I liked him anyway back in the day when his music was still edgy before it became what it is now but I never took what he’d say seriously either since I knew it was satire but it was jarring so I’d pause my music and go 🤨) Kind of like the whole “Brother Nature” drama from months ago when people were trying to cancel him for stuff he said when he was like 13? Most of his videos are of him taking care of animals and having fun with them and I’m sure he’s learned from those mistakes. It was just a kid being edgy (though............... I didn’t say shit like that when I was 13 and I knew better but EVERYONE is raised by different people and unfortunately, every time something nasty that someone has said resurfaces again, it’s always something racist and colorist about Black people (ALWAYS) or something else shitty about another minority group... I still understand that he was a dumb kid at that time. As for Liam Neeson... Fuck him lmfao. He’s a legit asshole. The context there was totally different and he meant what he said. Imagine being a White man and so open and chill enough to talk about how you specifically wanted to murder a Black person just because your friend got hurt by one so you were PRAYING that any random Black person got an attitude and ever looked at you the wrong way just so that you would have an “excuse” to brutally kill them and sense he’s white, we already know that nothing would’ve happened to him. He never apologized either??? He literally said this.... and considering the environment we live in as far as racial discussions and sensitivity goes, it’s so... wow? He really said this all these years later like he could’ve never talked about this but he did lmfao. Yikes. He’s just gross. I’m rambling on but I just wanted to talk about it a LITTLE bit just because of how many people I saw tweeting about it today and a lot of them were just labeling cancel culture as a “kiddy tumblr thing” when it’s just... man, it’s a lot tbh. Like I said, it’s 50/50 for me because a lot of people that get blasted usually don’t even deserve it as much lmfao. There are legitimate nasty folks out there who DO deserve it though so yeah like, I don’t like to see actually bad people glossed over and slapped with a “people are just being sensitive” tag as if these people aren’t real weirdos and shitfaces. It’s actually insulting to put them in the same bag as some other folks that have been “canceled” for something they’ve already atoned for and are being an overall, better people.