#this is some starsky and hutch bullshit

[majorbaby]

trapper is literally just walking by in this scene, which you would think he could do without hawkeye supporting his back and yet

[heystovepipeboys]

back on my bullshit again with some new WIPs and old faves I've been working on during nano this month, so it's time for another round of...

WIP Ask Game

RULES: post the names of all of the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it.

-I'm in love with you,- David finally said

black widow babe

Dumb boys

have you done this before?

How to Guide Tertius

Howl

In Haguenau, Ron starts to spiral

Jim's bruises were an ugly yellow-green

Law and order rehab

Learning

let's try this again and again and

Lip doesn't notice at first

mean

muzzle

Nix ruins parties

put it to bed

rock and a hard place

Sentinel & Guide webgott

Sledge was asleep under water

soulmates (nix is stupid)

Starsky doesn't call Hutch first

the bends, the shakes

When Lewis was small, Stanhope brought him a girl

Who the hell is Lew?

Aaand let's see... Tagging @ronsparky @lamialamia @malarkgirlypop @georgieluz @lewis-winters @almost-a-class-act @merriell-allesandro-shelton @rosesthistlesandclovers @mads-weasley @gudetama-tamad @lieutenant-speirs @dusty-jump-wings @vera-keller @land-sh @mutantmanifesto @freebooter4ever @educationalporpoises and if you wanna say I tagged you then go for it!

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

Miami Vice S1E8: No Exit

Bruce Willis plays one of the sleaziest villains in all of Vice, directed by David Soul.

One of my favorite early episodes-- this is definitely a good candidate for trying to convince someone to watch Miami Vice. Fair warning that it’s fairly upsetting!

While Paul Michael Glaser (Starsky) directs 3 episodes of Vice, David Soul (Hutch) only did this one. PMG’s episodes are brisk, sarcastic, and laden with visual metaphor. This episode from Soul is dark, contemplative, and artistically spare. Both directors, however, use music absolutely beautifully, and seem to understand the almost visceral connection between Sonny and Rico, even this early in the series. It’s a shame we never got another Soul episode, but this one is damn good.

I love that Tubbs mentions that he is scared of machine guns, because it’s something that sets him apart from the other men in the department. He’s willing to admit his weaknesses and fear and isn’t as wrapped up in the I’m-the-toughest-cop-here machismo bullshit. His ability to be a little more honest with himself is almost certainly a protective factor in terms of why he doesn’t crash and burn quite as badly as the other characters over the course of the show.

Poor Lester the bug man. Lester is one of those early Vice characters who was clearly intended to be recurring, but he mostly spends the beginning of this episode trying to explain how his tools work while Tubbs is like “shut up I’m creepily looking at ladies through a telescope” again. Jesus, Tubbs.

Sonny and Rico are so fucking mean to Paul, the FBI agent who is supposed to be going undercover. Sonny jokes that the guy “must’ve taken drama in high school” and Rico patronizingly says that he “thinks they’ll handle it.” Then they proceed to send Rico, who has like 3 months of inconsistent undercover work under his belt, and whose Jamaican accent occasionally sounds Transylvanian, to do the job instead. Great work, boys.

God. Just-- the way Sonny is simultaneously truly, genuinely, and deeply concerned about Rita and wants to get her out of Tony’s grasp, and yet in the next breath he’s utterly manipulating her so Vice can use her. “Can you do that, Rita?,” he asks her, looking desperate and mournful, “Can you buy us some time?” It’s so goddamn bald-faced. You wonder if he justifies it to himself-- he has to make her do this to save her-- or if he just goes home hating himself that night because he knows what a bastard he was for even asking.

The sequence that follows is utterly wrenching. Tony offers Rita earrings, and when she doesn’t react with the level of excitement (fawning?) he was hoping for, he slowly stalks her down the spare, white hall and then slaps her so hard she falls to the ground. It’s a repetition of the same slow, white-backgrounded violence from the interrogation scene in Calderone’s Return pt. 2; it’s shot and framed like Tony is a horror movie monster; it’s set to the tinkly, synthy, shmaltzy strains of Stay with Me by Teddy Pendergrass. The intentional musical mismatch makes it all the more painful to watch; the age-old excuse that abuse comes from love or the fear of losing the victim’s affection falls apart when a love song is juxtaposed with such stark violence.

I think it���s very telling that Sonny’s call to Rita after he witnesses this (and, rightly, blames himself for it happening) is shot with him standing in almost exactly the same way at the exact same kind of payphone as when he calls Caroline in the pilot. In both cases, he’s calling theoretically to offer some kind of support or reassurance, but in actuality appears to need reassurance himself. He wants Caroline’s confirmation that she did love him once; he wants Rita’s forgiveness. Sonny’s ongoing issue with women comes from the same place as his issues with his self-esteem; he sees himself as a hired weapon at worst and a protector of the innocent at best. When he fails to protect someone, especially a woman or a child, his self-image starts to collapse. He doesn’t believe he’s good for anything else-- so in S1, he asks those he’s failed for reassurance that he is still a good protector. In later seasons, he just believes he really isn’t good for anything.

Sonny: Well, time for you to go to jail / Tony: No one can ever make me go to jail / Random government agent: Yeah uhh so we use him for proxy wars in the Southern Hemisphere, you know how it is with the US government and guns and cocaine and something something contras, so uh, yeah, he can go free

....but Miami Vice definitely is just about speedboats, right

I consider the ending of this to be the most classic/the “ur” Miami Vice Freeze Frame ending. It’s perfect, because like. Yeah, sure, there could be a denouement, but... why bother? There’s nothing that can be said that hasn’t already been said, and nothing that can fix what has happened that wouldn’t utterly undermine the themes of the story. It just sucks! The system is corrupt! They failed because they were set up to fail! You can’t fix the justice system from inside the justice system! This is the theme of the series in one abrupt freeze!

Okay. Okay. So. If Don Johnson is to be believed, he got Bruce Willis either the role or the audition for the role here. And he knew him because Bruce Willis was a waiter at a restaurant he liked. Not to put my tinfoil hat on or anything, but I find it utterly hilarious that Phillip Michael Thomas and not Don “hey boss, I need you to give a job to this hot talented waiter I know” Johnson has a scene here where he and Bruce Willis feel each other up in a men’s room. Look up photos of DJ and Bruce Willis from the 80′s. Look at DJ’s face and tell me I’m wrong.

[kleenexwoman]

Valentine Fandom Ask Meme

1, 9, 13, 17, 27

1: This is very hard to answer. Most of my ships are non-canonical, but a lot of them are implied (Aziraphale/Crowley isn't NOT noncanon, Dan/Herbert is very subtextual, Kirk/Spock had Gene's blessing, Illya and Napoleon really don't have anyone but each other, and Sebastian Stan was playing closeted on purpose).

George/Marty is probably the least "canonical" big ship I've ever had. MJF and Crispin Glover are great at being hilariously awkward around each other. George being queer was my immediate vibes-based headcanon in the same way that FtM Marty is a lot of people's vibes-based headcanon (I cannot argue with it at all, I love it), and the idea of finding closeted queer people in your family tree is something that I love. Plus, I raised my own ass on Heinlein novels, and dude was going back in time to bang his slutty red-headed grandma. I feel that I deserve some goddamn same-sex time-travel incest in my media if I'm going to be faced with heteronormative paradoxes all the time.

9: fuck, this is really hard. I feel like my wife and I have some good Steve/Bucky going on. Mutual support through hard times, devotion that doesn't depend entirely on romantic feelings (if we hadn't started dating so quickly we'd still be really good friends), being willing to punch Nazis for each other. And all of that is important! and I *have* that. World cold and hard, tits warm and soft.

But I also want someone who's gonna top me and be kinda aggro and make me feel fucked up in a good way. I've been reading a lot of Karate Kid/Cobra Kai fanfic recently, which is FULL of rivalry sex and slamming people into lockers and evil obsessed sugar daddies. I wanna be Daniel LaRusso and be a spunky little dork trying to do karate (yes, I know karate. No, not very much of it and it's been a long time but I keep wanting to get back into it) and have some anime rivalry with a butch who wants to pin me down and get into my pants. I will take a raddled post-menopausal handywoman if there's no sleazy 80's businesswoman available.

13: Pendergast/D'Agosta deserves more content. I know there's some. I literally commissioned some (for charity). It needs a huge archive with a frames/no frames option chock-full of long, self-indulgent smarm and slash in every imaginable scenario, like Man from Uncle or Starsky and Hutch or Due South. But alas, tisn't.

17: I think I like "friends first" ships. It's how I tend to fall in love. Even when I have enemyships, I like them to have been friends before the falling out--Lex and Clark from Smallville, where Lex starts out trying so hard to make friends with Clark that it was a GIANT ship, or the fine gold standard of Magneto and Professor X.

27: Barney and Robin from How I Met Your Mother. I really liked Robin, and I liked the idea that this complex, independent woman and this ridiculous man-slut nerd could actually have a good and healthy relationship with each other once they moved past society's sitcom expectations of what heterosexual relationships were supposed to be like and carved out a comfortable place for themselves. But I guess THAT was just some bullshit.

[olderthannetfic]

the ppl who donate to ao3 r probably the people those anti-ao3 posts are the least likely to work on tbh. adults (or at least teens with disposable money, so a job and a credit card) who are invested enough in ao3 to donate are probably either too into fanfic or mature enough to call bullshit. if you lived through other moral panics you probably gain an immunity to later discourse, like building up immunity to a virus

--

Yeah, pretty much.

I think people also overestimate how much we're all on twitter or tumblr or wherever. Like, yes, it seems as though the entire world is doomscrolling twitter at all times, and for some people, that's true, but I'm currently "at" an online Starsky & Hutch convention full of oldschool slashers who are still actively in fandom, many of whom only left mailing lists to go to Facebook and discord. They skipped Livejournal entirely. They're not on twitter. They're busy with dying parents or planning their adult children's weddings. They mostly go online to see friends of forty years.

The loudest twitter antis are very loud, but will these people even see them? Unlikely.

People overestimate the size of their particular social media bubbles.

[scuttle-buttle]

Chapter 1

Synopsis: Niki Lauda and James Hunt are complete opposites. With their careers on the line as International Agents for Interpol, the two get paired together to solve the case of a small underground black market art heist. The introduction of an American, a woman no less, into the team only complicates things further as the trio goes undercover. There's more than just art that is at risk of being stolen on this mission. 

Pairing: Niki Lauda x Fem!Reader, some James Hunt x Reader

Rated: E 18+ for eventual smut, language, and violence

A/N: set in the late 1970s Europe, the vibe for this is the Man from Uncle + Starsky and Hutch + This Means War

WC: 933

Chapter Tags: mentions of sexual situations, language, rivalry, xenophobic phrase (kraut)

🖼

The door opened with a crick. “You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Yes, come in, Lauda.”

Niki entered the spacious office, closing the door behind him. He hadn’t noticed the blonde man sitting in the tiny chair in front of the desk at first. He nearly stopped in his tracks when he did. James Hunt. Niki barely knew the man but couldn’t stand the Brit. Sure, Hunt had a few small successes under his belt, but his reputation was known throughout the entire department. In the five years Niki had been working for Interpol he had only heard two things about the man: he was crazy in the field and an immortal fuck.

Niki’s brows crease as he eyes the other agent. Hunt eyes him with equal curiosity as he sits slouched in his seat. “What is this about?”

“Sit down,” Garnier, his superior, stated and waved toward the chair next to Hunt. Niki does as instructed. The Frenchman sat forward in his chair, fingers steepled under his jaw. The silence was tense as they waited. Niki noticed Hunt shift in his seat from the corner of his eye.

Garnier sighs. “A new case has popped up. A string of small art galleries across the continent have had works go missing. Lesser known Monet, Holbein, Vermeer, Klimt, and the like have been disappearing over the last nine months. Fortunately, one of the stolen paintings made a reappearance a few weeks ago at an underground auction. We were able to recover it, but not those that took it in the first place.”

He opens a folder on his desk and pulls out a photograph. “While we couldn’t catch the mastermind yet, we were able to get a name.” A short man with an overgrown black moustache is pictured. “Fabricio Lombardi. He has ties to the Italian mob through his late father who got his start in the post-World-War black market art trade. Seems the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Our source has been reliable so far, but not enough. We need agents on the inside to get intel enough for Interpol to intervene before there's a chance of everything moving east. The Soviets won't cooperate if it gets into their territory; you know how the Reds act with our 'bourgeois frivolity'.” As he finishes his explanation he leans back into his large desk chair.

Hunt clears his throat. “Sounds fun, but why is the kraut here?” he jabs his thumb towards the Austrian.

The superior licks his lips before holding out two of the dossiers, one to each man. “Because he is your partner on the case.”

“Bullshit-” “No bloody way-” both men interject at the same time.

“Ay! This is not up for discussion.” Garnier tosses the folders into their laps, clearly annoyed.

What the hell? Niki already had a partner in the bureau. “Where is Laffite? We have been working together for months,” Niki argues. He wasn’t a huge fan of his French partner, but it was better than working with the Englishman.

“Laffite took a transfer because of your ‘stick-up-the-ass’ attitude all the time. He stated it was impossible to work with you. This makes it your fourth partner transfer in less than two years, Lauda.” Niki scoffs. It wasn’t his fault; Luca Di Montezemolo, his former partner, retired after a mission went wrong and he got seriously injured. In Niki’s eyes, nobody else had the same competency as Luca. If the other agents weren’t willing to work to his standards then they could fuck off for all he cared.

At Hunt’s snicker, Garnier turned his ire to the Englishman. “And you-” he pointed a finger “-don’t think the department has forgotten about your screw up in Barcelona. You were supposed to be gathering intelligence from Ruiz, not sleeping with his wife.”

“So what is this, punishment? You’re going to make me work with the rat to prove some sort of point?”

“Yes, I am. And you are going to deal with it because I’ve had enough of the both of you,” his french accent thickened as he grew frustrated. “The goal is to not only catch Lombardi and return the art, but to hopefully get the two of you in line. Lauda can learn to loosen up, and you can learn to use your brain and not your balls. You get started on the case tomorrow; there is information for a contact of mine in the dossier. I expect you to get your shit together before you meet tomorrow for lunch.” Garnier grunts once. “Now get out of my office.”

The two men stood, giving each other a hard glare before leaving the room. Niki turned one direction, muttering “arschloch” under his breath. James moved in the opposite direction, his own “arsehole” tumbling out.

That night Niki immediately gets to work reading through the new mission details to familiarize himself. Several photographs of the stolen artworks in question are included. He focuses on one specific portrait that he thinks should barely qualify as art at all. Looks like a child painted it, he thinks. In general he thought the case dumb, but he would do what he needed in order to prove that he was a good agent.

Turning to the last page he sees information about the supposed contact he and Hunt would be meeting tomorrow. The page had a measly three lines and an address.

You will meet the contact tomorrow at noon for lunch.

The contact will approach you.

The contact is to be fully involved in all aspects of this case, information and otherwise.

I've just included the tag list from my other Niki fics, let me know if you want to be added or taken off!

Tag list: @ay0nha @apparrio @livvyshmiv @fictionlandslanddreams @vinylrosess @typical-bistander @ntlmundy @mymagicsuitcase @anteroom-of-death @somethingthatsaysbubbles @lieutenantn @multiversemarielle @trashbin2 @whatawildone @metalbreakfast @laura-naruto-fan1998 @greeneyedblondie44 @godidontevenknowwhat @marchingicenotes7 @mysticalexpertdaze

@loliissmut @fandom-princess-forevermore

[thenorthseasings]

At first I thought that I was on some bullshit and probably reading too much into this. Like, the showrunners definitely probably didn't intend for it to be taken as such. But I couldn't help thinking it over again and looking at Vanessa I cannot help but compare her looks to Starsky's

wouldn't you say that Hutch has a type? and it's not blondes

[datleggy]

Now you got me curious about those dialogue asked you got for Poisoned Buck and SubDrop Buck! I bet their both heart-ripping!

ask: Dialogue for Poisoned Buck idea where he's in agony like Bella from Twilight while she was giving birth and Eddie rushes to him and distracts him by kissing him. Eddie takes Buck into his arms Buck looks up at him with wide, unfocused and pain-filled eyes. He's sweating and writhing in agony and with a voice that is hoarse from screaming Buck says: "Please Eddie make it stop... I-I can't... k-kill me... Please Eddie kill me." Just how horrified would everyone be hearing this?          

this dialogue idea for poisoned!buck actually got me thinking of how fun it would be to make it so buck and either just eddie or the whole team were like trapped somewhere when either he gets poisoned or the poison starts taking effect, and so he’s in pain for HOURS before he can reach a hospital for the antidote/some pain management (kinda like that old ep of starsky and hutch where he gets poisoned and has like 24 hours or something to find the antidote and the whole time starsky’s in HORRIBLE like dramatic bouts of pain while working the case uieghrobugwfds the way he threw himself into his partners arms in pain???? ooof)

ask: Sub!Drop Buck Dialogue idea: "You left me bruised and dirty so many times, you went and showered other subs at the station with your affection right in front of my fucking face. You did all of that on purpose Edmundo. Now here you are after I almost die and you suddenly have the gall to say that you're MY DOM? You insult the doctor who saved my life? A Dom who's been happily married to his sub for over a DECADE? Get The Fuck Out Of My Sight Diaz" Pissed off Sub!Buck is terrifying            

me, reading this sub!drop buck dialogue idea:

THE THOUGHT OF EDDIE ON TOP OF EVERYTHING GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO SHOW AFFECTION TO OTHER SUBS PURPOSELY IN FRONT OF BUCK??????? WHO IS TOUCH STARVED, ISOLATED FROM THE TEAM AND ON THE VERGE OF A MAJOR DROP???????? IM IN PAIN

also it made me think of a scene where maybe the team is out at a bar hanging out after a hard shift and buck was “bad” today (which is absolute bullshit ofc buck is A GOOD BOY GODDAMNIT) so eddie makes him sit in the corner of the bar all alone while he dances on the floor in front of him with other subs, being v tender w them, holding their hips, nuzzling their neck, pulling them in close to his chest, etc, and buck is so NEEDY and miserable at that point but he’s so DESPERATE to be good for eddie and earn back the love he’s lost so he sits there and yearns and feels absolutely AWFUL, like nasuea, stomach cramps, all side effects of being touch starved and then so blatantly neglected/unfairly punished by his dom and AAAHHHHHH imagine another dom sees buck and is obv interested and he heads over and starts flirting it up and eddie sees and he gets hella jealous of course bc that’s HIS sub but he’s still so mad about the lawsuit he blames the whole thing on buck, who is literally telling the dom to pls leave him alone, he’s taken, thanku, and he punishes buck with a v severe canning once they get home and then offers ZERO aftercare, leaving buck w welts on his ass so he can’t even sit down for the next week at least, without serious discomfort, and------------------this got away from me, lemme stop uihgierhoij

[j-philly-b]

OUaT 7x02 – Thoughts & Observations

“I’ll send an SOS to the world; I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle.”

           - The Police, Message in a Bottle

Ugh, seriously? We’re back to this bullshit? I thought we were done with the realm that shall not be named. But no, instead we’re going to be reminded of it on a weekly basis. Or at least I will be, because my anger over that entire plotline is unflagging.

But I am talented in unhealthy avoidance techniques, and will likely continue on because (1) I am a glutton for punishment, (e) Colin O’Donoghue’s face, and (!) I can’t stop myself from trying to puzzle this show out. Hi, my name is Joanne and I can’t get OUaT.

 Random Thoughts:

I was not prepared to say goodbye to Killian Jones, he of the multiple redemption and hero arcs. It was that and the high expectations I had for a story written by Jane and Jerome that left me in a pit of despair after the episode was over. I’ve gone through my stages of grief, I am almost at acceptance, almost.

I am relieved that CS have their happy ending/beginning together in SB. While I’m in the they don’t need a baby to be happy camp, it’s a fine development and everyone’s fic with a CS kid post-S6 is perfectly valid and canon compliant. So there’s that!

I know that many viewers, including myself, took Emma and Killian’s concern as an implication that they had a difficult time conceiving, maybe even suffering a miscarriage at some point. I’m going to go the lighter route and assume that Killian’s penchant for leather pants and skinny jeans slowed down the baby making process, which is why we saw him show up in the alt!EF in regular blue jeans.

I loved how Killian jumped into action and was instantly stabby as soon as he and Regina showed up in response to Henry’s call. Struck me as a very strong parental instinct to go on the offensive like that when you get a distress call from your kid.

Emma tells Henry that she has to give Henry what he gave her – family, and she starts by giving him Hook 2. Then Henry keeps Regina – and no one in SB is complaining because obviously Regina has absolutely nothing in SB and can walk away on a whim, what else do you do with a middle-aged woman with no spouse or child to look after?

I’m bitter because I can’t believe A&E or J&J put me in a position to feel defensive over Regina.

Interesting that being in the alt!EF meant that Regina and Emma’s magic wouldn’t work. But here’s the thing, Regina’s use of magic in the beginning showed us two things – her magic worked when she was protecting her TL, but didn’t work when she was to cast a locator spell. Subtle foreshadowing of what was to come later with Emma and Hook 2.

 Hook 2 using Killian’s blood to become him may have created a deeper connection than simply surface appearance. So not only was Emma able to connect to him by recognizing the man he could be, used to be, but maybe whatever it is that makes TL a physical manifestation was also able to recognize something in Hook 2 because of that blood connection? I’m not being clear, but I think this blood connection and TL is going to come up again for Hook 2 and his daughter. I am really leaning toward the daughter being created using some form of blood magic.

So Hook 2 has a daughter and now we’re going to be following his story. In a way, it makes sense, it allows CS peace and to continue living their happily ever after without unnecessary angst and separation. I just don’t know if I feel as invested in Hook 2 as I was in Killian Jones.

I had work it out in my head when Hook 2’s path diverged from Killian. I’m going with the wish realm diverging at the point of the flashbacks in the Cricket Game – in the wish realm Snow’s attempt to banish Regina worked, and she was no longer a threat to them from that point on. Therefore, Hook 2 never sang with Snowing and did not kill his father to leave Liam 2.0 an orphan out for revenge.

“I’ve always tried to do good.” Where did that come from with Hook 2? Did he turn around when his daughter was born? Was that his “you can be a part of something” moment?

I’m assuming his fall back into darkness was when his heart was poisoned/cursed and he was stopped from seeing his daughter. I’m just… ARGH!!! Another Hook redemption arc? Yeah, I’m still not quite over it yet.

Hook 2 roaming the realms looking for TL to cure his poisoned/cursed heart and then trying to use Killian’s connection with Emma for that purpose tells us what? That Hook 2 thought himself incapable of TL, and maybe now feels guilty that he didn’t try hard enough or believe in himself enough to save his daughter? That now that he has his second chance he will fulfill his role as his daughter’s white knight?

I like the carry through to HH and seeing that Rogers does not like hearing Henry’s daughter referred to as a vulnerability.

Roger’s curse memories of Emma are not too far afield from the truth. Their cursed personalities aren’t too far off from their true-selves either. Very unlike Regina’s curse when she tried to suppress people’s true selves. We’ve seen how Jacinda isn’t afraid to push back against Victoria, how Rogers, Regina, and Henry were able to come together easily, and how Rumple is on the periphery of that as well. So was the curse cast for evil intent or not?

Ok, so I think I called it last week with Weaver being the one to get Rogers promoted and reassigned to him. I’m sticking with my theory that Rumple knows what is going on and is more involved in the curse than we think at this point. It was more heavy-handed in this episode, mainly because there was more Weaver in this episode, but I’m fine with a Rumple that plays on both sides of the fence. I’m wondering if Weaver’s relationship with Victoria is a case of keeping your enemies close?

Interesting that Weaver was not included in the final scene with Roni, Rogers, and Henry.

 Also interesting that Weaver doesn’t push Roni when she says no, not the tactic we’ve been lead to believe he usually follows.

The shot of Weaver and Rogers from behind the bookcase in Henry’s apartment was great. The view of them was slightly obscured, Rogers is in the light, Weaver is in the dark. I like how it framed their characters at that point in time.

 The matching denim jackets of Rogers and Weaver, was there a Starsky & Hutch in the alt!EF?

So Weaver was testing Rogers’ moral core, why?

 Hook 2 is very good at strategizing, probably all the chess, but Rogers was way ahead of Weaver when he thought to grab Henry’s keys before they left the apartment. Not a surprise that Rogers has a healthy distrust of Weaver and can look out for himself.

 Random Observations:

Why are there no evil Kermit memes with Hook 2 in the hood confronting Killian?

Captain Youthful!

I also liked Killian referring to Hook 2 and his existence in the realm to be ignored as a bad dream, not real, a cracked mirror, and a twisted version of the truth.

Why do LT and Tiana jump to Henry being in love with Cinderella/Jacinda? They’ve known each other a total of ten minutes.

THE HAND!!!

Henry is a total hipster.

“I gotta hop.” “You must have a fairy godmother somewhere.” Tiana gets all the good lines.

Lady Tremaine uses that wand a helluva a lot for someone who doesn’t rely on magic.

Ok, but what did Gabrielle’s teenage daughter think about her mother getting all up in Colin’s face like that?

Tune in next week when Weave tests out his Welsh accent!

The Nancy Drews! Even before Weaver pulled the book off the shelf, I knew what they were by the yellow binding. My dad bought me one a week for a little over a year when I was kid. I’m getting teary just thinking about it…

Henry looking for buried family and “keeps hitting dead ends”? Yeesh

Ivy wearing a green shirt with fleur de lis in her first scene with Jacinda – green for a reason?

Jacinda can save herself. We get it, we’ve also heard it before.

How exactly did Hook 2 wind up stabbed?

Emma does have a little bit of a bump when they’re sitting on that log.

Why is Killian so angry when he throws that bean? Does he know Emma has terrible aim when it comes to portals and he’s worried she might run on the wrong side of it?

Henry creeping on Cinderella’s bedroom.

Of course Killian has another magical method of communication. Shellphones, messages in a bottle, does he keep a coop for talking seagulls on the Jolly Roger as well, enchanted semaphore flags?

Ok, Killian and Regina discussing Emma was about 10x more overdramatic than it needed to be.

Emma is “the mother [Henry] wanted, a hero.”  That’s gotta be a kick in the gut to Regina.

God damnit Henry, operation glass slipper is still going on and now you’re staring operation next chapter? Get your shit together kid.

Colin wetn super-irish at the end when Rogers was telling his story to Henry, yes?

Were the hair extensions for Emma totally unnecessary? Or are saviors like Samson and lose their power if they get a haircut? Wait, is that why Rumple got a haircut at the beginning of s6? It was a hint that he was a powerless savior?! AHA! I’ve cracked the code!! Sorry, there are certain storylines I will never not be bitter about

Why is Tilda Swinton doing adverts for Lyft? Someone write an androgynous preternatural character for that woman stat! Speaking of, I need to rewatch Orlando, it’s been way too long…

[theliterateape]

Hostility is NOT Violence — Hurt Feelings Are Not a Broken Jaw

by Don Hall

Being the new kid at school every single year from grades 1 -8 meant I got bullied. A lot. Granted, I was already a bit of a smartass. Maybe I got that way as a defense mechanism. Maybe it just came naturally. Who can tell?

Funny thing is that I can remember most of the bullies from 3rd grade on.

Starsky and Hutch from Mrs. McWilliams third grade class. Based on their nickname you can guess what they looked like (unless you’re too young to have seen the show). In addition to constantly trying to get me in trouble and at least once a week lying to the teacher that I had said something off-color about her, they both took turns calling me names at recess. I was bigger than they were so it rarely got physical but given the fact that my family was poor and they seemed as wealthy as a pint-sized Bezos (probably not but everything looks huge when you’re eight years old) most of the taunts were about my clothes.

In fifth grade it was Anthony Jackson. He was a big black kid the size of an adult (again, youth and hyperbole go together like beer and peanuts) and he used to pound on me almost every day. I never understood why. Other kids would call him racial slurs and he left them alone. I never resorted to that sort of nonsense. I knew better. Mom was a good role model for that sort of thing. Whatever the reason, Anthony would go on a verbal tear, cutting me down until I’d snap. I was funnier than he was and could spin a dig like no one else. Then he’d beat the shit out of me and we’d start again the next day.

In seventh grade it was Victor Rodríguez and his gang of Latino boys. 

In eighth grade, I recall being set up by a few of the kids I’d end up going to high school with and LaDale Walters. By then, I was so used to being the new kid the words would just bounce off of me. I was crazy for LaDale. They knew it. She knew it. She invited me to her house and the four guys jumped me, kicked me, and dragged me across the gravel road with their bicycles.

Even then I understood that the words they used were nothing but sound. I was smarter than every bully I encountered and knew better insults. It was the pounding that hurt. It was the physical pummeling that left me bleeding and bruised. 

By the time I was in eighth grade, though, I had learned to fight back. That was how you stopped them. Hit ‘em back.

Of course, then I got in as much trouble as they did. I was no longer the victim because I hit back. 

I learned a lot of things being bullied consistently for seven years in a row.

I learned how to take a punch.

This seems like a life skill that shouldn’t have to be learned but it is the same lesson as when I was a kid learning to play baseball. I was put in center field because I have almost no athletic ability and possess no grace at all. But I was afraid to catch pop flies. I didn’t want them to hit me in the face like an ordinary human.

The coach came over, threw a ball at me. It hit me in the mouth hard. I cried. He said “That was rough, kid. Probably hurt. But you’re still standing, yeah? You’re OK, right?” I was. “Now you know what it feels like. It’s better to catch the ball than let it hit you in the face but if it does, you’ll survive.” I caught more balls after that.

Anthony Jackson taught me to not fear being punched in the face.

I learned how to take an insult.

When I hear people today cry out “Your beliefs are cancelling my existence” and “hate speech is violence” I can’t help but shrug. What I hear is people unable to handle ideas that are in conflict with their personal agenda.

The argument that words are the same as getting punched in the face could only be made by someone never once punched in the face. 

A sexist joke is only rape if you’ve never been raped. That doesn’t mean it isn’t in poor taste or is acceptable to hear but it’s hardly violence.

A racist epithet hurled at someone is substantially different and far more benign that being physically lynched and hung by a tree. Again, not cool but to categorize both the slur and the murder as anything close to the same is ridiculous.

“After all, people who obsess about being wronged are just plain unpleasant to be around: perpetually ungrateful, short-tempered, self-absorbed, never at peace, never at rest.”

Hmmm. That sounds like an apt description of 90% of Twitter. It sounds like an accurate breakdown of many on the side of the Woke as well as many on the side of the Alt Right. My guess is that it may sound like your significant other, your good friend, someone you work with.

It is, in fact, a description from an article in The Atlantic describing Donald Trump.

I speak from experience because I’ve certainly had my moments of being unable to take a verbal baseball in the chops with any kind of sense of proportion or humor. Sure, I’ve been obsessed with my own sort of vengeance and been angry and filled with spite over some barely educated online bully calling me names and semi-organizing the whole “call-out” and “cancel” culture game.

There is a psychological thing going on, though, that if we believe something is harmful, we are more likely to experience it as harmful. This interactivity between our definitions and our experiences reshape how we experience more of our day-to-day lives. It has been suggested that broadening one’s concept of trauma undermine’s resilience because our brains are all spongey. I think most would agree that being thickening up the skin is preferable to being in self imposed pain over someone misgendering you or asking where you’re from.

Another thing I learned from those bullies in grade school was this:

Anyone who sides with the bullies, either out of fear or agreement, isn’t worth your time.

Here is where my disdain for the mob bullying of everyone from J.K. Rowling (uncancellable) to some guy tricked into the “OK” hand symbol and then fired because the white nationalists decided that the “OK” symbol was now theirs separates from the common handwringing over this Twitter-centric phenomena. 

In 2010 I had a blog entitled “An Angry White Guy in Chicago.” I was a lot less rational and a lot of my online vitriol was focused on George W. Bush. I worked for a public radio station and, one day, after an early kerfluffle regarding reporters with social media accounts popped up, my boss asked me what I was going to do with my blog in the face of more stringent corporate control over online opinions.

“Wrong question.” I answered.

“What’s the right question?”

“What are you going to do about my blog? I’m going to keep writing and if you fire me for it, I wouldn’t want to work for you anyway.”

I don’t like bullies of all stripes. I don’t care much for weak ass histrionics trying to tailor society into what they want everyone to do or how to behave, either. Face masks? Required because we’re in a pandemic spinning out of control. Common good and all that. Controlling which ideas are acceptable? Not a chance. “This isn’t an abridgment of free speech. These are just the consequences of saying the wrong things.”Bullshit, kids. These are the consequences you’ve decided so that you can silence those ideas you don’t like.

You’ve forgotten that those who live by the wholesale cancellation of ideas they abhor, die by the fact that there are a lot more of everyone else getting sick to death of it. As one Vice editor was accidentally caught saying “Woke is fading in influence.”

The companies who kowtow to the demands of children and zealots are worse, though. They are not companies (or colleges, or theaters, or news organizations) worth being involved with.

Bullies, like any other obstacle in life, are there to teach you something. If all you learn from them is to behave exactly like them, you have learned the wrong lesson, bub. Lots of lessons to be learned from obstacles but let’s bully anyone who presents one instead of learning how to thicken up, laugh at yourself and them, and push through adversity or simply bad manners is definitely among the best to absorb.

The mob push for enforcing a moral purification designed to eradicate offense is simply idiocy and the need for a whole bunch of weaker bullies to band together to “cancel” people is pathetic. 

I mean, at least Anthony Jackson didn’t need a bunch of friends to pummel me.

[beatmyaudio]

Hypnotize Song Lyrics – The Notorious Big

Hypnotize Song Lyrics

Hypnotize Song Lyrics From Popular Hollywood Artist The Notorious Big from Album.

This song is sung by singer ” The Notorious Big ” in Year 1997.

Lyrics of Hypnotize :

uh uh uh cmonhah sicka than your average poppa twist cabbage off instinct niggas dont think shit stink pink gators my detroit players timbs for my hooligans in brooklyn dead right if the head right biggie there erynight poppa been smooth since days of underroos never lose never choose to bruise crews who do something to us talk go through us girls walk to us wanna do us screw us who us yeah poppa and puff hehehe close like starsky and hutch stick the clutch dare i squeeze three at your cherry m3 take that take that take that haha bang every mc easily busily recently niggas frontin aint sayin nuttin nope so i just speak my piece cmon keep my piece cubans with the jesus piece thank you god with my peeps packin askin who want it you got it nigga flaunt it that brooklyn bullshit we on itbiggie biggie biggie cant you see sometimes your words just hypnotize me and i just love your flashy ways guess thats why they broke and youre so paid uhbiggie biggie biggie uhhuh cant you see uh sometimes your words just hypnotize me hypnotize and i just love your flashy ways uhhuh guess thats why they broke and youre so paid hah memory byamandah editor j cole performed biggies hypnotize at the shaun whites air style event in los angeles on february 20th 2016 watch him nail every dang lyric see all i put hoes in ny onto dkny uhhuh miami dc prefer versace thats right all philly hoes dough and moschino cmon every cutie wit a booty bought a coogi hah now whos the real dookie meanin whos really the shit them niggas ride dicks frank white push the sticks on the lexus lx four and a half bulletproof glass tints if i want some ass gon blast squeeze first ask questions last thats how most of these socalled gangsters pass at last a nigga rappin bout blunts and broads tits and bras menageatois sex in expensive cars i still leave you on the pavement condo paid for no car payment at my arraignment note for the plantiff your daughters tied up in a brooklyn basement shhh face it not guilty thats how i stay filthy not guilty richer than richie till you niggas come and get mebiggie biggie biggie cant you see sometimes your words just hypnotize me and i just love your flashy ways guess thats why they broke and youre so paid uhbiggie biggie biggie uhhuh cant you see huh sometimes your words just hypnotize me hypnotize and i just love your flashy ways uhhuh guess thats why they broke and youre so paid uhi can fill ya wit real millionaire shit i can fill ya escargot my car go one sixty swiftly wreck it buy a new one your crew run run run your crew run run i know you sick of this name brand nigga wit flows girls say hes sweet like licorice so get with this nigga its easy girlfriend heres a pen call me round ten come through have sex on rugs thats persian thats right come up to your job hit you while you workin uh for certain poppa freakin not speakin leave that ass leakin like rapper demo tell them hoe take they clothes off slowly hit em wit the force like obe dick black like toby obe toby watch me roam like gobe lucky they dont owe me where the safe show me homey say what homeybiggie biggie biggie cant you see sometimes your words just hypnotize me and i just love your flashy ways guess thats why they broke and youre so paid uhbiggie biggie biggie uhhuh cant you see uh sometimes your words just hypnotize me hypnotize and i just love your flashy ways uhhuh guess thats why they broke and youre so paid uhbiggie biggie biggie cant you see sometimes your words just hypnotize me and i just love your flashy ways guess thats why they broke and youre so paid uhbiggie biggie biggie uhhuh cant you see uh sometimes your words just hypnotize me hip to and i just love your flashy ways uhhuh guess thats why they broke and youre so paid uhbiggie biggie biggie cant you see sometimes your words just hypnotize me and i just love your flashy ways guess thats why they broke and youre so paid

Hypnotize Song Lyrics

Youtube Channel Link

Lyrics, Edit, English, Hollywood, Hypnotize, The Notorious Big from WordPress https://ift.tt/3divsUv via IFTTT

[ah17hh]

welcome to chili’s 👋 by yung gravy 🥵 and bbno$ 🤑🤑 via /r/emojipasta

welcome to chili’s 👋 by yung gravy 🥵 and bbno$ 🤑🤑

she got that booty 🍑 poppin💥 like it’s bubblegum, gum 🍬 beat up 👊 on that booty 🍑💦 like rum-pum-pum pum 🎶🎶 will not 🙅‍♂️ listen 👂 to your bullshit 🐂💩 nah-nah-nah-nah 🤣❌❌ baby gravy 👶 droppin heat 👇🔥🔥 like ra-ta-ta-ta 💥🔫

pour your bitch 👩 a lil courvoisier 🥂 yoko ono 👩🏻 came through 👉 with the yay 🥴⚪️ roll mo blunts up 👆🥬 baby ándale 💃 let’s get lit 🔥 like it’s a holiday 🎉🎉

my name is baby 👶 no money ❌💵 let me tell you again 🗣🗣 i change the no 🙅‍♂️ to yes 🙆‍♂️ and now everybody 🧐 claims they’re my friend 🤨🤥🤥 you find 🔍 the baby gravy 👶 on the 🔝 and we will not descend ⬇️ i got the pepperoni pizza 🍕🍕 fendi frames and blue 🔵 cheese lens 🧀

no stains 😷 on my white ⚪️ g-fazos 👟 wanted 2️⃣0️⃣ mill turn my 💩 to pesos 💸 got a billi when i cucked 🤭 jeff bezos 👨🏻‍🦲hey alexa 🤖 im playin baby 👶 please 🙏 don’t take me off 🛑 my payroll 💵💵

she got that booty 🍑 poppin💥 like it’s bubblegum, gum 🍬 beat up 👊 on that booty 🍑💦 like rum-pum-pum pum 🎶🎶 will not 🙅‍♂️ listen 👂 to your bullshit 🐂💩 nah-nah-nah-nah 🤣❌❌ baby gravy 👶 droppin heat 👇🔥🔥 like ra-ta-ta-ta 💥🔫

pour your bitch 👩 a lil courvoisier 🥂 yoko ono 👩🏻 came through 👉 with the yay 🥴⚪️ roll mo blunts up 👆🥬 baby ándale 💃 let’s get lit 🔥 like it’s a holiday 🎉🎉

hey gravy 👋

hey baby 👋👋

what’s good, bitch? 🐕

every day i wake up 🌅🥱 and i’m 🔙 on my bullshit 🤡💩

how come 🤔 every time i say a word 👄🔉 it’s some good 👍 shit 💩

i was born a mac 🕺🤩 i be on some fleetwood shit 🥵🥵

imma stay 🧎‍♂️ giving minuscule 🤏🔍 fucks 😤 you need aimbot 🏹🤖 pussy boy 🤡 a crutch ✅ baby gravy 👶 stop crime 🚨🚨 we starsky hutch 🚔

star-studded 💫 event when i valet park 🚗 i think 💭 i’m paul wall 👨🏻💸 dripped in the rally car💧

i like a blunt 🥬🌫 mixed 🆙 with some caviar 🥣😋 i like your mom 🤱 but shit 😤 she gave me battle scars 👊💥💥

she got that booty 🍑 poppin💥 like it’s bubblegum, gum 🍬 beat up 👊 on that booty 🍑💦 like rum-pum-pum pum 🎶🎶 will not 🙅‍♂️ listen 👂 to your bullshit 🐂💩 nah-nah-nah-nah 🤣❌❌ baby gravy 👶 droppin heat 👇🔥🔥 like ra-ta-ta-ta 💥🔫

pour your bitch 👩 a lil courvoisier 🥂 yoko ono 👩🏻 came through 👉 with the yay 🥴⚪️ roll mo blunts up 👆🥬 baby ándale 💃 let’s get lit 🔥 like it’s a holiday 🎉🎉

Submitted April 26, 2020 at 02:34PM by ido_song_copypasta via reddit https://ift.tt/2YabAhI

[olderthannetfic]

How do you feel about the people trying to get Brooklyn 99 cancelled or arguing that people shouldn’t like/talk about it (or presumably other cop shows)? I think the cop propaganda bit is silly, but do worry that by supporting cop shows I’m supporting the police, something I very much don’t want to do

Jesus.

Look, I am a big fan of trash crime procedurals, like the CSIs or NCISs, all the way back to Starsky & Hutch and before. I love that shit.

B99 is a weird sitcom that happens to be about cops. It’s a moronic choice of target if the objective is social change...

...and a great target if the objective is social power within fandom.

If Tumblr fandom actually cared about cop shows being fascist propaganda, they’d go after NCIS, which is, by some measures, the most popular show on the planet, and which intentionally and overtly caters to a very mainstream pro-cop, pro-military US mindset. Shows like that have a lot of power to reinforce the status quo and thus some measure of power to challenge it. I thought it was a fascinating and positive development that we got Instinct, which is this same trite genre, but with a gay lead.

Yelling at a bunch of tumblr-ites who already hate the police for watching a show with a bunch of POC and queer characters is pointless. Zero political change will result.

Weaning Middle America off of ultra-fascist flavors of NCIS and inserting some black lives matter messages into mainstream cop shows might actually do something to change voting behavior. Might.

Ultimately, I have to question what “supporting the police” even means in this context: Not thinking that literally every cop is a monster? Not thinking that we can do away with modern law enforcement entirely? Viewing cops as interesting enough to be heroes and protagonists of fiction? Failing to performatively hate cops on the internet?

It’s not like individual cops know you’re watching cop shows, so to me, it seems like the theoretical propaganda effect on you is indeed the thing to worry about here. If that’s silly, then the whole thing is silly, and you should go back to watching B99 and not worry about any of this.

Sure, watching lots of law enforcement shows might give you a subconscious positive feeling about law enforcement, and maybe that’s a bad thing that you want to avoid. That’s very much a personal judgment call.

How much the propaganda affects you and which ways it affects you will have a lot to do with your own personal context. The whole planet watches our America Fuck Yeah superhero movies. Those things are at least as propaganda-laden as cop shows. Does it make most of the world feel warmly towards the US military? Ahahahaha. God, no.

So, sure, I think it’s worth thinking about how your personal media diet affects you--and like a food diet, one piece of junk food will not do much harm, and it’s about the sum total of what you consume--but this has to be undertaken by you yourself.

If you want to protest, go protest. If you care about change, vote. Donate money to activist groups. Volunteer offline. Don’t confuse this with personal mental spring cleaning and don’t let other people tell you they’re the same thing.

Tumblr, as usual, is conflating “Your fandom sucks! Talk about mine instead!” with political action. This is toxic bullshit. Block people who pull this.