#this is the alwin situation again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

megatontiddies · 3 years

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Your fallout OC as a companion taken from @goovat ask meme except I'm using it as a writing prompt/ oc development? I guess? because I think it's cool and I'm bored and want to write it all anyways

Anywhompst this is for Alwine and since it's pretty long (like really long you've been warned) I'll throw 'er under the cut

What perk would they give the player?

Occam's Laser

While Alwine is an active companion the player gets +40% damage with laser weapons and +25% headshot accuracy in VATS with scoped laser weapons. One shot kills produce 2X the XP.

How do you recruit them? are there multiple methods?

After the player levels past level 10, or alternatively, upon finding Paladin Danses Recon team Alwine will be found as a new recruit for the BOS. Once the player does the first two repeat quests by Haylen and Rhys and The Lost Patrol quest begins she is available to assist the player in the mission. After the mission is complete she may offer to follow the player as a companion if the player has chosen the more diplomatic speech options with Brandis and Danse. If the player chose the more aggressive/ rude options while speaking with the two then it will require a small speech check in order to be a companion.

What raises and lowers their affinity?

Raises: Minutemen/ Helping Settlement quests, Stealing from wealthy NPCs, BOS quests up until BB, Helping Anyone, Honorable Actions, Amicable Dialogue Choices (for the most part)

Lowers: Murdering innocents, Stealing From Settlers/ Not Well Off NPCs, Unnecessarily Rude Dialogue Options

How do they react to certain things? what do they say? (eg. lockpicking, grabbing junk, killing?)

Lockpicking:

(nostalgic/ thinking to self out loud/ amused) " Really coulda used a trick like that when I got locked outta my house that one time..."

(humorous/ surprised) " And here I was ready to blow 'er open"

(thinking to self out loud/ amused) " Hell o' a lot quieter than kickn' er open"

Grabbing Junk:

(blanket statement/ flatly) "it's amazing what you can build outta junk"

(enthusiastic/ bubbly) "It might be radioactive but if ya render it down with a bit ah castor oil it makes a great paint for glow sights"

(humorous/ matter of factly) "I'd rather carry 40 pounds ah junk than fork up an arm and a leg to buy the same shit later from Crazy Myrna"

Player Overencumbered:

(genuine concern) "If ya keep pickin' shit up you'll slip a disc"

(teasing/ amused/ worried) "Jeeesus look at yah! You look like a pack brahmin!"

(teasing/ amused) "With yer pack so stuffed if ya fall on yer face you'll never get up again"

Murder:

[Alwine Hated That]

(angry/ surprised) "What the fuck is wrong with you!?"

(angry/ confrontationally) "You better spit out a good reason for that and fast"

(angry/ bewildered) "Are you for real?"

notes: Alwines reaction to murder is exclusive to people she genuinely feels are innocent. She's comfortable with deaths she deems necessary (or if the person made themselves known as a pretty awful person).

Cannibalism:

[Alwine Disliked That]

(disgusted/ shocked) "oh? OH. Great, like there wasn't enough nightmare fuel out here"

(disgusted/ worried) "In't there, like, a brainworm or sumn' you can get from doin that?"

(disgusted but still attempting to be light hearted/ humorous) "Like it blue eh? I prefer mine rare... a lil less peopley too..."

Stealing in general:

[Alwine Disliked That]

(irritated) "Hope that wasn't somethin important"

(irritated) "Should I be sleeping with one eye open round you?"

(irritated) "Like people don't have enough shit to worry 'bout out here..."

Stealing/Pick Pocketing (but from wealthy/etc NPCs):

[Alwine Liked That]

(approving) "Lord knows they have more than nuff' to share"

(approving) "Doubt they'll even notice it's missing"

(approving/ musing aloud) "The unyielding greed and ignorance of the wealthy was the catalyst of Armageddon"

Pick Pocketing:

[Alwine Disliked That]

(surprised/irritated) "Why don't you spit in his eye while you're at it"

(irritated/ humorous) "I feel like I should put a cat bell on ya"

(irritated) ~audible scoff~ The player is likely being glowered at

Enemies Found:

(Shocked/ Excitably) "Y' ello!"

(loudly/ warning) "On yer flank!"

(loudly/ shocked) [weirdish sound presumably before lashing out a punch of hit of some form] " GWEHHK!"

Enemies Lost:

(quietly/ nervous) " shit... where'd you go you bastard"

(quietly/ nervous) " Lost 'em"

(quietly/ to self/ nervous) " I swear to lord if ya jump out at me..."

Enemies Killed:

(satisfied/ calmly) "good riddance to bad rubbish"

(loudly/ excitable) "Bingo!"

(quietly/ almost a whisper/ to self) [only if player is sneaking] "...bingo bango bongo..."

Player stops talking mid conversation:

(sympathetic/ lighthearted) "Sometimes I loose track of my thoughts too"

(genuine worry) "Ya good? Take yer time."

(humorous/ teasing) "Not a thought between those eyes is there?"

Player removes all garb:

(shocked but also amused/ between light laughs) "oh?"

(mindless banter/ avoidance) " This would probably be a good stun tactic if y'aint fraid of gettin yer tidbits shot"

(humorous/ almost scolding) "Y'aint invisible... just so ya know"

Player loots a corpse:

(plainly) "Any ammo?"

(joking/ light hearted) "Guess they won't be needing that anymore"

(statement/ plainly) "Grim business but you can find some good stuff sometimes."

Player starts swimming:

(plainly/ matter o factly) "Ain't no way I'm going in there"

(humorous but fear is present in voice) "If a big fish decides you look like lunch I ain't gonna be able to help ya"

(almost nostalgic/ sarcastic) "Yeah me and the brick tied for the swimming contest back in 63... I'll just stay on the shore"

Player jumps from high place:

(genuine concern) "ouch! you good?"

(soft yell/ concerned/ as if watching player fall) "aaAAaaa!?"

(oblivious to the player falling) "Where'd ya go?"

Do they periodically give the player items? what kind of items?

Bowls of various soups if player interacts between 5 and 9 PM. Every other time she'll give the player Fusion Cells.

Would they be able to do specialized task? (eg. repairs, hacking)

Not necessarily a task but if the player was to put various junk/ weapons in her inventory then she will periodically/ randomly mod them.

Would they be romancable?

Yeah probably? I think? In my AU she romances Paladin Danse but that would probably not be something that could happen as an NPC in Fallout 4 so??

If it were something like Mass Effect it would probably be like a Garrus/ Tali situation where if the player never romanced either characters then they would form a romance.

Do they have a unique outfit or weapon?

Alwine wears a black BOS jumpsuit for the first half of the game up until BB. After that she'll wear military fatigues. She'll wear the same over armor (BOS heavy armor) for both but after BB the BOS symbols are sanded off. It would be a unique unremovable armor set.

What would be their personal quest, if they have one?

This one is a bit weird since the player would be taking the role of the Sole Survivor. That being said I've always found that one empty cryo-chamber at the end of the vault hall interesting. There probably is a reason for that (like it just wasn't occupied or the occupant died before vault scientists had their spit) but for the sake of this AU/ prompt we'll say that she had a similar entrance to the vault as the sosu, bringing her babe into the vault and getting frozen with Kellogg snatchin both their children (this is lazy writing I know but I don't know how to write this without fundamentally changing her character). The only difference is that somehow maybe Alwine was released/ thawed earlier and got a bit of a head start. Because Alwine is no longer the sosu she wouldn't of encountered Preston at Concord and Codsworth likely either wouldn't of recognized her or simply acted like it was prewar and spoke to her only as if that was the same narrative giving her no sense to what was happening or how much time has elapsed. Alwine would of wandered out on her own and then stumbled onto Paladin Danses recon team and eventually got inducted in hopes of finding her child.

For her personal quest it would likely be trying to find evidence on what happened to her child. The quest would start with the player character going into the institute, and since companions can't follow the player there (minus X6), she would request that they find out what happened. After some digging the player will discover that Alwines child was killed in experimentation over 60 years ago in trials to make experimentation safer for 'father'. The player can bring this information back and Alwine will be devastated but grateful for the player finding this out for her. Despite being fairly amicable with the player she insists she needs time to grieve and that following the player is a cold reminder of the pain. Regardless of what the player says she parts ways with the player and goes back to the Prydwen and will idle there until the Liberty Reprimed quest where she will disappear from the map. Alwine will remain missing from the map until Blind Betrayal where she will be standing outside the bunker blocking Elder Maxon, as well as arguing with him, from entering the building. The player's choices will affect how Alwine responds.

- If the player executed Paladin Danse within the bunker then Alwine will become immediately hostile to the player. She will be forced to be killed by either the player or Maxon.

- If the player spares Danse then chooses to execute him when confronted by Maxon then Alwine will make it clear that she will not hesitate to become hostile to defend her friend. With a red speech check the player can convince her to stand down but she will be remorseful and refuse to follow the player afterwards and disappear off the map. Her body surrounded by a myriad of dead raiders will then be a random encounter while wandering the commonwealth. If the speech check is failed she will become hostile forcing the player, or Maxon, to execute her.

- If the player spares Danse then convinces Maxon to spare him then Alwine will express gratitude and her perk will become available. Unfortunately for Alwine her disobedience and willingness to become hostile towards the elder causes him to kick her out of the brotherhood. She will remain at the bunker with Danse until the player completes the quest and then upon the player returning Danse will disclose that she has gone to the Castle in order to join the Minutemen where she can be reobtained as a companion.

What are their opinions on certain factions? (eg. brotherhood, NCR)

Minutemen:

Genuinely believes that they have the best interests for the Commonwealth. Worries that they lack the men and firepower to take on the Institute or any other large faction that could pose a threat. This Worry is dissuaded after The Nuclear Option and her affirmation towards them only increases. With time, resources, and good leadership, Alwine believes they could become a major player even outside of the Commonwealth.

BOS:

At first is amazed by their technological advancements and firepower especially compared to the rest of the Commonwealth. The comradery is nostalgic and comforting for Alwine as it reminds her of her days in the US Military as a Power Armor Mechanic. After some time she realizes that they're a bit lost for direction grasping at straws for purpose and that their idea of "freeing the Commonwealth" might be misinformed well intention fueled by fear and dogma. When she was new to the commonwealth and didn't understand much about anything really the fearmongering and racism towards ghouls and synths were more tolerable (but still uncomfortable) it eventually become almost intolerable the longer she stayed and the more informed she became about the natures of both.

Railroad:

At first is weary of them. Alwine is careful around people who keep secrets and after spending so much time in the Brotherhood interacting with the Railroad pushes her hackles up. She does like how they work to help the synths, especially after BB, despite being mostly associated with the BOS. She becomes more comfortable after becoming more educated about synths, between the Railroad themselves informing her and the data collected by the player at the Institute itself, and eventually embraces the Railroad as a necessity after BB.

Gunners:

Heavily dislikes them. To her they're essentially just militarized raiders.

Institute:

Has a hate towards them that just strengthens over time. Their ignorance and misuse of technology is both a tragedy and crime. For the most part she pities them but strongly believes that their destruction is absolutely necessary.

Nuka World:

They're raiders so Alwine is pretty hostile towards them. Despite this their organization and brutality makes Alwine careful about making them enemies. If possible she would work to keep them out of the Commonwealth as much as possible or at the very least work to create some kind of truce of sorts to prevent a major confrontation (which would likely be devastating to both sides).

Atom Cats:

They remind her a lot of her friends prewar with the way they talk and their fondness for power armor. She likes them.

Children of Atom:

Alwine believes in freedom of belief as long as said belief does not infringe on the beliefs and freedoms of others. As long as they are respectful of herself and others she will act the same. Alwine is also a bit curious about them she would likely ask a bunch of questions if they allowed it. Other than that she would keep her distance, mostly due to the rads.

General voice lines? (in reaction to companion wheel selections)

Talk:

(friendly/ bubbly) "What's crackalacin"

(friendly/ inquisitive) "You okay?"

(spacy/ broken out of thought) "Hmm?"

Trade:

(friendly/ bubbly) "What's mine is yours"

(joking/ teasing) "finally got tired of carrying that junk eh?"

(joking within a genuine question) "Hey maybe I can carry the big guns instead of the junk for once....no? maybe?"

Follow:

(plain/ firm statement) "Got it"

(bubbly) "Comin!"

(bubbly/ softly) "Oke Doke"

Wait:

(plainly) "alrighty"

(plainly/ softly) "I'll just sit tight"

(masking nervousness through humor) "Don't leave me here too long... might forget what I'm waitin' for and wander off"

Where would you find them in the world?

She would be located at the Cambridge Police Station. Then later at the Castle.

Which game would they be from?

Fallout 4

Miscellaneous facts?

If the player puts alcohol in her inventory and the player gets 'drunk' she will match the player for drinks and her basic dialogue will be slurred for a short time after

Alwine will loot the entirety of corpses, clothes and all, when asked to loot bodies.

Alwine will periodically build weapon and armor mods which can be taken out of her inventory by the player

Alwine refuses to go in water and a hit box specifically for her prevents her from entering. This results in a glitch that has Alwine swimming in the air several feet above the water while the player is swimming.

If the player uses console commands to force Alwine into the water she will sink to the bottom similar to if she were wearing power armor. Note: This does not affect her health she will just idle at the waterbed.

#alwine #good lord this took forever #read at your own risk #might post the perk on it's own I'm proud of that one lol #fallout #fallout 4 #fallout oc #my oc

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thelordstears · 3 years

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Writing totally isn’t a passion of mine *Wink, wink*

"Fools, always think they're the smartest one in the room, as is the same with saints, it would seem." - Moores Thomas

"The crow must have a very watchful eye; for even his flock is called a murder." - Valkronin Sambridge

"Sometimes what others do to obtain peace leaves you in pieces." - Bentley Harlem

"He is the enemy screams my ragged bone mind; again and again the shouts of my father echo in the night of my darkness, and again and again I let the lie envelop like blood in my chest." - Alastair Sambridge

"This wicked heart doth not beat lovely." - Valkronin Sambridge

"We're pawns in a game that doesn't fucking care; the King and Queen have left the brooks and knights bleeding on the edge of the board. All that's left of us is the way we move across a checkered board, wondering why black, white and red is the only color we can see through these loyalty blinded eyes." - Flitz Haktoll

"We're all lookin' for glory at the end of a faded bullet; grins echoing in the decaying lights of justice and heroism." - Benjamin Scotsfire

"Glory is not found in the pursuit of death. It's often found in the pursuit of something greater." - Henry Onlark

”Lies fall slick from the tongue of the foolish.” - Cross Smykens

"I left the war; but it never left me." - Jay Foster

"Ya know; a man once told me to turn my rage inta power. Let it be the kick of my bloodied rifle, but as I turned that rage to power, as I let that bloodied rifle bruise my shoulder; I learned that power's name was corruption all along." - Maximus Bates

"When everything is ripped decadent from your veins you find a substitute for that abyss in your heart; and I've filled it with cracks of who I'm not." - Terminus Hydra

"People like us don't get third chances. We just get ta live the rest of our lives in this flat circle, we're doomed ta try and run on these hand me down shoes; but we'll just get right back where we started. Standin' stagnant in our cruelty." - Scottenmire Travol

"You haunt many a folk 'round here and you don't even know the names of the graves carved into the stone of your heart; everyone's nameless too ya. But everyone's got a name and a couple thousand stories to tell, what merry little tale do you think I plan on orchestrating tonight?" - Monte Pelamo

"I thought I was raising a rifle to fate; but then I bled as my finger curled around the trigger." - Alastair Sambridge

"Glory and death often go hand in hand; interlocking bloodstained fingers within one another's as to best watch humanity flitter and fade away into dust and ashes. Have you ever noticed how cruel people get when life fucks 'em over? How evil seeps through the good man's heart all because he had a bad fucking day? I'm the seed of evil planted into the good man's ribcage, blossoming like a black rose of thorns and shadow in the heart of kindness." - Diablo Bohnsello

"I already walked that path brother. I already have a coffin fitted for a man that ain't me; it's why I'm so fucking dangerous." - Hectorvallo Bloodwain

"If you can't fucking get something out of doing what's right, than what's the point of being the good guy?" - Trent Aval

"Oi'm just a stumblin' deer, wonderin' where these breadcrumbs will lead me." - McKady Cornwall

"Some men call me a mad man. But I imagine you'll call me a monster, or karma, in some wicked sense. Who I am is usually defined differently for every man I come across. They all have their own little tale. Some weep as they read the poetry scribed like scars in their heart, some rejoice in the wicked man's tale. But you, little one shall die, in some strange and peculiar way. Not in the sense that I'll bury you, but in the sense that I'll wipe your slate clean and scribe little pieces of my darkness onto your blackened pages." - Westell Gramstein

"Crazy and misunderstood is a very thin line many walk." - Westell Gramstein

"I was stuck in a shadow like trance, dancing with the light of my very own moon. It was under the decadent and decaying lights of that pale light cast from the sky that I was stricken by a very sudden madness. A very quiet, madness." - Shackelstan Puppeteer

"Any man can become a shadow wisped secret of himself. How do ya think the darkest of creatures are made, brother? They start off as good people doin' good things. But sumthin' comes along the line and rips them from their shadow, leavin' them defenseless against the dark." - Valterren

"In all madness, my friend, there is what created it. Dare you tread in the black waters of my mind?" - Westell Gramstein

"When it's your life or mine I tend to get a little selfish, a little cowardly. And these days, the bullet is my only saving grace." - Kyro Bellford

"I stand stagnant in a pool of others blood, wishing it was my own." - Alwine Hickory

"I looked for who I am in all the wrong places. Like the way a boys hurt tasted on my heart, or the way a cigarette burnt my tongue. It's as if I never really found me. As if I never will. Because in all honesty, I feel as though I was never someone that could truthfully be called Inazo Lizomann." - Inazo Liomann

"I'm licking fate off of the barrel of temptation's revolver, my heart splintered and weary. Once you get a taste of the things that damn you, like the way cruelty tastes on your tongue, you begin to fall away from yourself. I swore up and down I'd survive. But I didn't. I never had." - Huntsdale Klizollo

"Unity with control is like putting a cat in water. You think it won't resist, you'll think that peace can be found within the feral animal you've dropped into the waters of unified revolution. But eventually, claws start to fly and the once unified civilization becomes nothing but the ashes it once started as." - Hex Sweeney

"I'm cursing you with the thought of life in the midst of the death of those you called friend." - Sevelsworth Hickory

"They always say, oh go ahead, open up. Let those scars bleed so you can reach the light everyone's always preaching about. And then you let your emotions come running from your lip like a river, and they put a dam in your mind and tell ya no one gives a fuck about the kid of trouble and bone. So you pick up a few bad habits, you throw another fist against a kid in your same situation and make due with what ya've fucking got. As if the dam built in your mind keeps all but the rage in." - Flizo Thompson

"I'm old bones buried beneath the rubble of identity. Don't matter how much I struggle, how much I try to survive. Because I'm already dead, and at this point, bein' a walking grave don't sound so appealing. So I burn up my lungs and pray I drift away with the smoke." - Ramo Bonewitz

"No one cares about you Ramo, you're already a ghost. All I have to do is give that little extra push into the unknown." - Quentin Satchel

"You won't make it out of this alive. You'll try. You'll walk mile after mile. But you're just a tombstone with legs." - Quentin Satchel

"My thirst for blood started young. The first day I saw the driblets of crimson drop to the tile floor was when a kid brought a razor blade to school and drew blood against his bully. An act of defense. And gradually my thirst for this kind of behavior grew. It started with rooster fights, watching the little fuckers claw at each other with those sharp nailed talons of theirs. But that gets boring quick. So I moved onto dogs. And that evolved into watching wolves fight in my father's barnyard. But eventually you get sick and tired of fur and fangs, so you settle for something more dangerous. Something more rewarding. My father taught me the game of gladiatorial fighting. Civil. Just. Merciful. And as I watched that man cut his brother down in the blink of an eye, oh I knew I could never go back. And I never would. I became a master of the arena, sitting on my throne of gladiator and gladiatrix's corpses." - Sevelsworth Hickory

"The blood of my father's victims sits on my hands, as if it was me pullin' the trigger. As if all along, I were pullin' the strings. Sometimes, when all ya can do is watch tragedy unravel, you get this funny lil idea that it's all your fault." - Alwine Hickory

"I was raised on the Devil's backbone of sin, standin' like the snarl of a rifle. Don't you come ta wonder what makes monsters like me? Brother, life has always been what makes monsters outta human men." - Cavowit Hickory

"We're all just thieves and bastards lickin' up the pieces 'a fate we got left. So why you gon' go damnin' me for preventin' the crooked bitch from comin' for me sooner? Son, I'm just doin' what it takes ta survive this Devil's country." - Stalkman Hickory

"I got a tattoo runnin' below my eye that tells the truth, as if the grim reaper has put her eternal mark on me." - Henio Bonstook

"You'll become a reflection, of sorts. You won't exactly, look like me. You won't exactly, look like my gunmetal stained past. But it'll be there, lurking in the corners of the mirror. Waitin'. Watchin'. Readyin' itself to pounce on the little gunslinger who thought he could, and that my friend. Is the day you'll die." - Ulfrich Diggory

"It's not about, who you are in the now. It's about who you're gonna be after I start carving little pieces of you off with the edge of my gunslinger malice." - Ulfrich Diggory

"Truthfully, I killed someone for that woman. I carved little pieces from off my heart, begging her to love them, but she was a Devil wrapped in gossamer, silk and roses, telling me that our little secret was nothing more then a flickering streetlight, providing little protection to the darkness of the night. And I suppose, my streetlight flickered out, leaving me with nothing but the sparks of a cigarette and the warmth of a revolver." - Grant Filepen

"Where once faith swung like curtains behind my ribcage, now it feels more like a couple of nooses, whispering my fate into the winds of my feeble, decaying sense of self." - Amaziah Bokenmay

"To the circus you shall go, to lose your mind and find a darker soul." - Moores Thomas

"Truthfully we're all heroes in some capacity. But some cast that away, they tear it screaming from their heart, our heroism often begs when faced with greedy fingers, but the cruel don't care. And to all the heroes who invited the kindness in, I hope it didn't take too many pieces away from you, to let the fact that cruelty exists despite the bravery in you break you." - Kirsten Hezofrein

"The cruel call peace a revolution just so they have an excuse to kill the protestors." - Sebastian Dovens

"The blood ran black from my wrist, dripping down like candle wax damnation." - Joey Alderson

"Skinny and starvin' I died, sittin' on the edge of my frozen over revolver. I shivered, I shook. And mate, I didn't make it ta the end of the tunnel, I was caught by the traffic of beasts, but 'ow peculiar is it, that they stared at me with eyes I recognized? As if pe'raps, friends can become enemies within the span of a god damn blink." - Arv Harknizia

"Darkness has to blot out the sun for light to shine later on." - Gustave X. Van Velk

"Those in power are often the weakest man kind's got to offer." - Garth Yeager

"I saw life flash before my eyes in the banging of a rifle, sins sitting cruel on a masked man's sleeve. It was in that moment of death that I cut humanity from out my heart, becoming something unfamiliar. But these cackles of insanity start to feel beautiful." - Tahasha Moonlight

"Life keeps forcing me down, these shadows start to whisper into my mind that the light is just outta reach. And those damned shadows rip at the threads of the sun's golden rays, ripping into the warmth of Summer forevermore. I'm telling you man, you think Summer memories will always be goofing off under the hot sun, playing videogames with your best friend as your mom brings you cookies and lemonade. But all I can hear now is the gunfire melody of the hunt, sickening cackles ringing in my ears like poppers goin' off to damn early." - Scottie Bloodvallo

"Death is something we can not avoid. It catches all souls who live, it lingers in the cold mountains and in the hot springs, hiding in the shadows and the light. Wherever we go it is hiding, always hiding. But I find it so, innately cruel that sometimes, death catches up to men and women who still have miles to walk. People who from then on out have to walk mile by begrudged mile in death's wicked boots." - Caesar Cagelstan

"Men like me, men of the mountains and cold harsh winds of Antarctica don't really fuckin' live. Sure, we breathe. But as an old friend said there's such an ugly difference in that, cause as I puff another hazed, stale old cigarette, smoke drifting towards the Heavens, I come ta realize these angels wear smoke wings and ember halos, praying that this warmth is enough ta melt the ice in their hearts." - Daryl Fate

"People think that because they've walked comfortable miles, they know what it means, to truly be alive. But breathing and living are a very thin line many cling too, as if it was the lit fuse of a pact of dynamite, praying that it doesn't cover them in shrapnel truths and war bound horrors. I no longer live. I breathe. And there is such an ugly difference in that." - Mankar Hagmallio

"You don't know this city like I do kid. There's sharks swimmin' in the waters of these secrets, boy, and you're starting to smell a helluva lot like blood." - Roman Ustolgio

"I'm a Diablo, friend, and you're here for a handshake." - Abundio Garciel

"They called me a fucking misfit, as if who I am wasn't enough for society. And so as I washed myself in the blood of my innocence, draped in the crimson shawl of my identity, I came to realize no one, and I mean no one at fucking all, can add up to the expectations of a civilization ruled under the boot of the Heavens. And so we call ourselves angels, as if that made us holy in any sense of the fucking word." - Nicolla Bravajin

“ These skyscrapers stand like dead goliaths of faith and virtue, reminding us that New York city is where identities go to die and justice comes to wither and writhe underneath the heat of another darkened day. “ - Bartley Exodus

“ There comes a time when every man must choose who he wishes to be. He can walk the road seldom traveled or walk amongst the villains, slipping a mask of fangs over his face as to hide the bravery flickering in them golden eyes of his.” - Bartley Exodus

“ I pick up my old, rusted revolver and carve a couple dead men's names into the bullets and shove 'em into this chamber. Did I say dead men? Sorry. I've got a tendency to talk future tense." - Bartley Exodus

“ There's a locked room in my head where all the thoughts used to go.” - Bardem Lazolla

“ You know, all my life I've had to be tough, had to be just a bit stronger than the last guy; but I'm tired of the act. This mask is beginning to slip and I fear who I'll be once it falls. I've been someone else for so long that I don't know who I'll be once I'm me. “ - Bardem Lazolla

“ Isn't it strange how some people choose to be stuck in a nightmare while everyone else is living the dream? They can say we're all crazy, nutcases who belong in the looney bin. But in the end I'd rather be crazy than normal. I'd rather be me than someone I never was.” - Axelo Hayware

“ We've gotta be accepting, because humanity is built on love; but some people think power and hate is what gets you a name remembered. Yeah sure, names like Adolf Hitler and Julius Caesar are prevalent in the history books; but who do you look up to? Martin Luther King Jr or the fool who let power get to his head?” - Axelo Hayware

“ Humanity isn't doomed, we're just a little stuck is all." - Axelo Hayware

“ You know how when you're just a kid you dream of one day changing the world? Well look at you! Look! You did it; I promise. We're all changing the world daily with our actions, wondering if we ever meant a damn thing in the end; and I'll admit, I stumbled a few times. This path had a couple of roots along the way that felt like a noose wrapping around my dreams, forcing me to sputter and choke on nightmares.” - Tom Hanson

“ I refuse to let the gunshot melody become my song. “ - Tom Hanson

“ Look, there's a time and place to be a hero. And that's everywhere and all across the clock.” - Spencer Vokeswagon

“ I'm just the civilian who watched in wonder as the sky burned with glory bound promises, smelling the way they broke in the air.” - Spencer Vokeswagon

“ I'm falling inch by inch; wondering why the fall is such a slow descent, it has taken years for me to reach the atmosphere, and I have been burning ever since I first touched a broken star with human fingers that never should've found those old secrets dusted in the corner of a shelf in her son's bedroom.” - Valentine Valks

“ I shall never discover for I fear taking a step forward.” - Valentine Valks

“ Was that taut leather in his eyes or love?” - Valentine Valks

“ He is cruel and unjust, claiming himself an angel as he rips the wings from other's backs if only to stitch them onto his own. Is it such a sin to give life to the devil whom would steal it? I didn't know, I plead to the Heavens. But in my skull I hear the booming voice of God fracturing my pieces, and he tells me, "It matters not. He is your blood; and so you shall bleed in his place." And like a fool I accept my punishment as Jesus once did. I am bleeding on a crucifix of my son's sins, crown of thorns wrapped around my head as all the color bleeds from me. Black and white blend to a warped sense of grey; and all I know becomes fogged and misty. “ - Valentine Valks

“ I was raised a warrior, fighting battles of mind and blade, because in a world where evil lurks in every corner; everyone needs to be a hero or have the capability to be one. “ - Kadlin Paulson

“ The true warrior fights for what she loves and what she knows to be true.” - Kadlin Paulson

“ I'm an old tree trunk covered in the scars of the hatchet; and I know they dare not remember my name. For if the hatchet were to remember the name of every tree it cut its handle would begin to rot. Because to cut and cut and cut; the hatchet must have slain a couple of once sturdy trees. But I will stand sturdy forevermore. “ - Kadlin Paulson

“ I was young when I learned to keep a watchful eye on all that one loves; for everything has a darkness waiting inside of them, prowling in the depths of all saint's bones, waiting to pounce on the weary hearted followers of God. Dare not let this darkness prevent you from stepping into the light; for this is how the shadows in your ribcage win, how the demons start cackling with a strength they didn't once possess. “ - Nial Moorannan

“ My hands are stained with the blood of every man I've ever been.” - Nial Moorannan

“ I have watched the sun set one too many times; aiming the scope of this fox hound's rifle a thousand and three times, always me in my sights. Always me I watch go down in a howling scream of blood lit confessions and regret cackling at the midnight sky ever burning.” - Nial Moorannan

“A serpent followed us into our perfect little garden of Eden and stood watchful at our forbidden trees; eyes beady and forever burning with an emptiness that was never quite human. And he stripped the roses from Heaven; he tore the angels from a once clear sky and cackled as fire erupted through the clouds. And so all the angels of Eden fell; forever fell. On that day I died a death like no other, dreaming of beauty as I fell from Heaven, grasping the burning clouds wondering why death tasted like a memory on its way." - Nial Moorannan

“ There's a black serpent slitherin' in me ribcage; darin' me ta take a step forward in this dance with me shadow, and I dance, and I dance, and I bloody dance. A pirouette in the soddin' dark of me own bloody moon. “ - Arnold Schull

“ First time I died was when I were covered in da blood of boys sent howlin' ta an early grave, dagger drippin' crimson wif' regret. Second time I died was when I shook da hand of a masked devil, anarchy and violence howlin' just behind me. And mate; I've died many more times. “ - Arnold Schull

“ I've neva' seen 'is face. But those eyes dance wif' somethin' sinister. “ - Arnold Schull

“ Sometimes we hit the clouds before we make it to Heaven.” - Armellos Crescendo

“ Feather by feather who you are will be restored. “ - Armellos Crescendo

“ Rejoice, my friend; the sun of humanity has yet to sink. “ - Armellos Crescendo

“ I got fight left in my old bones and people to protect with all I got, so I roll up my sleeves and stick a cigarette between my teeth, letting the smoke be a warning of the fire that roars inside of me. “ - Armellos Crescendo

“ My father once told me that we have a choice when faced with the edge of a bullet; we either run from it or let it dig into our hearts. We're either the shield or the one that's behind it. And my mother once said that the world is a sorrowed plain of darkness; we're just the stars living in the blanket of shadow. And these words echo in my mind as I try to push back against the life I've been living, the sorrow ached life I've been given. “ - Ariel

"There's a storm in me heart. It rumbles and cackles with lightning and thunder; red rain pouring down on me cracked and broken ribcage, and as I try ta rest I feel the storm brew like death in this weary little fool. “ - Annabelle Courtney

“ I didn't pull the trigger, but I din'it stop anyone from lettin' the bullet soar neither. “ - Annabelle Courtney

“ I was a good woman once. But ever since I met that woman underneath the streetlights, I knew that I was a goner; she wore her nails red as blood, leather jacket draped over her shoulders as she snarled at the sky and all who made her the way she is. And as I fell through the ever lit skies of her rage I became something much less than who I am. She once dug sharp nails into my cheeks and snarled at me to paint the walls the color of my namesake, and with mournful regret I watched the white walls become a ruby red. “ - Ruby Vollstale

“ She's just a wild dog that doesn't know how to calm herself down.” - Ruby Vollstale

“ I once told myself that the fall is a long way down; but as I started to trip, the fall felt like only a few begrudged seconds. “ - Ruby Vollstale

“ Before one can fall head first into death he must go through the echo of life.” - Zecheriah Holyton

“ We are dropping like flies swatted by the electric swatter; dying as flashes of light in the nebula abyss of earth.” - Zecheriah Holyton

“ I was born curious, my friend. So I dug into the truths of philosophy and secrets, tearing my measly little claws into the greatest poets man kind ever knew trying to find the purpose of a life so obsolete. And I discovered that in truth; life is what we make it. But it also happens to be heavily influenced by our surroundings. “ - Zecheriah Holyton

“ I look into the stars of Heaven and often wonder if it's angels or graves in the sky or if that perhaps the sun is a culmination of all the burning wings set ablaze to give humanity warmth on event the harshest of winters. “ - Zecheriah Holyton

“ We are dualities of what we've done; wondering if what we didn't do condemns us in the end. “ - Zecheriah Holyton

“ Humanity is a vessel; of what I can never tell. All I know is that we're Babushka dolls." - Zecheriah Holyton

“ It's funny, how people will look at the unwell man with such fucking disgust; they say, "Look at the battered whore of a man! Sipping on the delusion that he is something other then his madness!" But don't they understand I'm trying to stuff myself so full of placebos that this fucked up thing I've become finally passes me by? “ - Arthur Wellburn

“ These emotions whir around my mind like cannons and gunfire, always hitting me down to rock bottom. But then I soar! Oh how I fucking soar. But I'm always falling within a month; laughing at the thought of splatting bloodied against rock bottom once again. “ - Arthur Wellburn

“ They always say you're strong for fighting the mental illness, but if they could see my heart they'd recoil and ask me to be put in a mental ward for all the thoughts that swim like death in this black watered river of my fucked up mind. “ - Arthur Wellburn

“ I'm just a nobody looking at the world through the eyes of Arthur Wellburn, wondering why I can never see a reflection of my mania. I'm stuck in this little corner nowadays, as if I'm just this little monster in a cage of his mind; and I'm always thinking the cure to my disease is a revolver shoved in my mouth and a wildly loud BANG! BANG! BANG! It'd be so much easier to die than to live, you know? So much easier to let the weight of my burdens fall onto my families shoulder like a ghost that lingers on the other side of death. But I never do it, I never do! And I get to wondering, "Why?" Because as life guns me down; I cackle in the red rain." - Arthur Wellburn

“ Look, I was just a kid hiding his truths behind dorky smiles and girls I didn't even have a crush on. But my brother, my sister, they were always gonna accept me as I am; there were never strings attached to our bonds; never scissors waiting to slice. “ - Tony Ikelfur

“ I am nothing more then a messiah of the broken and condemned; come one come all, safety is found in the comforting embrace of the shadow mistress. “ - Antonio Sharp

“ I walk within the light if only to watch it fade; striding beneath the sun if only to watch it sink one last time. “ - Antonio Sharp

“ I was born under the shadows of pinewood trees and howling wolves.” - Antonio Sharp

“ As the world comes to a grueling close who do you think will walk into paradise? The holy; or the heretics of life? Who do you think will be praised by the oh so holy creator of darkness but they who embraced it? We are beasts and bastards in these shadows my brother; so become one with the edging blade of destiny. Let it cut pieces of your identity from off your skin, let it call to you with the silver shadow of a soon to be crimson soaked dagger. We are children of the shadows; messiahs of the night. Dare the hero walk into the night with his rifle and bravery he will be shown as an example as to why the darkness is superior. “ - Antonio Sharp

“ I'm cheap smoke rising from the New York sky.” - Ambrose Walsh

“ Ever since the day I dug a grave I ain't been who I am. The lantern shed a pale yellow light across my face, cigarette stuck between my gritted teeth as I huffed and puffed, shovel working hard as the soil dug up beneath me. The moon was cast sorrowful on this broken man's soul, the reflection of a wolf dancing in the stream right by the old cemetery that knows too many forgotten names. You really don't wanna meet who I became that cold, Sundeh night. Because not even I can face the bastard in the reflection. “ - Ambrose Walsh

“ You can't trust the dogs who kept on a diggin' despite the way the soil reeked of death.” - Ambrose Walsh

“ You know how you try and be who you are after tragedy? You cling to the memory of the smile in your mirror and convince yourself that you're still that person? Because I tried real damn hard to be that person after the fire. But I know that boy is gone; buried underneath the secrets he found in a town he thought knew peace. “ - Alex Devonwood

“ I hate to break it to ya, but angels don't fucking exist. We're all just people living our sorrowful little lives selling ourselves to the dream that it gets better one day. But it doesn't, it really doesn't. I've been trying to find that happily ever after for a long time, but the man that haunts my memory? He sits in the recesses of darkness like a leather draped beast always waiting to drag the hopeful into his devious maw. Truth is life wasn't made to be lived. Life's only purpose is to serve us to death on a silver platter and I don't wanna stand for that. I wanna live but know it's impossible. “ - Alex Devonwood

“ I tried to tell my story; but no one roots for the underdog who never bit back, the dog who never barked his truths to the sky. People prefer tales of perseverance over the tale of the boy who never won. It gives them false hope, that they can be like the boy who won. But the boy who lost eats their dust." - Alex Devonwood

“ I used to be full of this joy that you couldn't really kill; but that man, he tore it from me. Sorrow leeched at the edges of his eyes; a dogs bark snarling somewhere in his throat, and he told me that we all live our lives confined in a locked room. And that the wrong person had found my key. And into my locked room he walked, ripping my heart from out the walls, digging into the wallpaper to discover the secrets I hid like confessions in my chest. And it was on that day that I was left as barebones of who I was. “ - Alec Bonehoff

“ I was just a fucking kid, man, I shouldn't have had to bare the weight of my brother's unguilted conscience. “ - Desmondo Dreadful

“ Sometimes ve chase our dreams. Sometimes zey chase us. “ - Luka Schiefer

“ People are always gonna hate even though it don't get no one anywhere, so when faced with this rage, when faced with this hatred ever seething. Take a few deep breaths and remember emotions often lie; and given the chance they'll shoot ya down with pellets of doubt and fear.” - Gary Heartlock

“ I was just a kid enjoying the company of himself, always told he just weren't a good influence. “ - Gary Heartlock

“ When you let the armor of lies shed from off your skin you start to grow a tougher skin of truth; don't you know that's why Icarus laughed as he fell? “ - Gary Heartlock

“ Be so authentically you that the hateful use you as an example of what's wrong with humanity; be so yourself that you set the bricks for the next man's path. “ - Gary Heartlock

“ You know how it is, right? You try and do the right thing but get caught up in all the bad of this world, wishing you had just stayed the fuck put.” - Dominiqua Claytor

“ Somedays I look back at the bridges I burned; memory of my eyes watering stinging my mind, the idea that I once smelled the smoke killing me from the inside. But I learn my lesson and move on. “ - Dominiqua Claytor

“ My brother and I are just two cold cases no one cares to look into; because who the hell cares about the death of identity? Who cares about the cigarette that never sparked up? “ - Adella Furrow

“ With my tattered boots and old leather jacket I walked into the unknown, and from whence I never returned. “ - Abel Romiro

“ Everyone stared me down, blaming me for the way fate unraveled, and I started to wonder if that town was home or just another house of too many damn walls. “ - Abel Romiro

“ That town was just too filled with devils for a single angel to do a damn thing.” - Abel Romiro

“ I've been both Cain and Abel truthfully; both Judas and the apostles who followed faithfully. But in the end I betrayed my own namesake, blood of a brother staining my once pure hands; and on that day I killed the hero inside of me. On that day the vultures flocked around my heart; pecking at what was soon to be dead. “ - Abel Romiro

“ That man locked me in a cage of the mind and told me to flay these pieces of identity from off my skin layer by layer. I bled for hours on the meat hook. A starving and skinny crow I became; yearning for a day where death didn't seem like a dream. And I found it in the hearts of my shield sisters. “ - Aadab Zivell

“ They say good fortune comes to he who raises a pistol in the name of peace; but often the man who slings bullets and sins ain't the man who finds the stairway to Heaven. “ - Aristead Solace

“ I've spent my life huntin' the cruel, finding them in different states and dead end alleyways. But still that one case sends shivers like death up my spine. Think of a lion; blood covered maw snarling inside of a cage it called the world, now take this lion and put him in a field full of gazelle. What will you get but a slaughter? That's what that man was to the world. Just a lion in a field of waiting gazelle. “ - Aristead Solace

“ Sometimes the heroes, they think their villains because ya gotta break a few commandments to stop the sinnin' man, and we call ourselves regretful devils. But we're just human, huh? And that's what made all the difference." - Aristead Solace

"Humanity. Kind one moment. Cruel the next. “ - Varkens Willowbrook

“ I have come to learn that there is an evil plaguing this world, it's wrapped in barbed wire and gunfire violence, the rage within sitting heavy in the open chest. And it goes by the wicked name of humanity. But simply because humanity is wicked does not mean that all of humanity is wicked. You'll find the kind ones somewhere waiting for you; but you are sure to find the wicked man often in a world that operates on kill or be killed. “ - Varkens Willowbrook

“ I believe that this world is kind despite the bad apples in the barrel; though those few bad apples started to rot the rest of the seeds within; the water roaring with the infection that came with the sin. Unfortunately just one bad apple effects the whole barrel. So one bad man effects the whole population. “ - Varkens Willowbrook

“ Somedays, the wolf; he wins. He trots around my ribcage victorious as can be, but that's when he gets cocky, when he begins to get careless. So the half-winged angels in me swoop down like a reaper's scythe and banishes the wolf to the locked door in my mind; where all the horrors go to starve. “ - Salvatore Graham

“ Ever since my father first laid a fist against my mother's cheek justice breathed through me as if I were a vessel in which it could see. And I told justice that I would dare not go blind. “ - Salvatore Graham

“ I pick up this blade; knowing one day I must turn it on thyself. “ - Salvatore Graham

“ Oh you know me; just a child of the old night sky, singing the blues as sorrow passes me by with a mournful sort of smile, knowing I'll come back around to her place in a day or two. “ - Franco Jonwitz

“ I'm just cigarette smoke chasing trouble.” - Franco Jonwitz

“ I take this old hat from off my head and read the poems that've been scribed in my ribcage, sadness following the words and prose I speak to the empty night sky. I've been a boy of sorrow ever since ma and pa became graves, moving along to an old orphanage with the scent of sadness wafting from off my papa's old, white suit jacket, hands and tears hiding somewhere in the fabric of that coat. I hold pieces of him inside of my heart, pieces of my mother hidden inside of my smile; and I guess there's sumthin' beautiful about that, huh? “ - Franco Jonwitz

“ I must confess, I've named a few of the stars after the ghosts that follow me, praying that they can fly up to the sky and find Heaven. But here they remain in my mind; reminding me that with sorrow comes trouble, and with Franco Jonwitz comes the inevitable idea that death kills before ya die." - Franco Jonwitz

“ War rains heavy over the weary soldiers who didn't make it past the gunfire; the ones who survived selling themselves to this ideology that their sins were for some greater good. But trouble etches its way into the bones of all whom pulled a trigger in the name of glory, sin or their own self gain. “ - Terminus Hydra

“ I lost everything, my friend, so a sin I became. “ - Terminus Hydra

“ Random acts of violence are often the ones that drive a man halfway to insanity, and the acts of violence he chooses to commit are the ones that drive him the full mile. “ - Terminus Hydra

“ I am a bad man. Dare not let my past tell you otherwise. If the people I knew where to speak of who I was they'd say he was a loving man who didn't let his tragedy define him; but speak to my enemies and they'll spit my name like venom on their breath. Two men tell two very different stories. My father would say I am a man of honor, but an old friend would call me the serpent to his corrupted and decaying garden of Eden." - Terminus Hydra

“ These scars on my legs tell the tale of a girl who lost herself too early; and it seems I can't hide my history from peering and bloodshot eyes. “ - Mayell Da Ville

“ My son tells me that one day, when I realize that who I am is beautiful despite the scars I'll find the wings had always been in my mind rather then on my back. But these scars, these horrific scars; they prevent the wings from growing ever again. “ - Mayell Da Ville

“ Here lies Mayell Da Ville; the ghost who found life too late. “ - Mayell Da Ville

“ There's a wolf on my shoulder; snarlin' at the frontlines and tellin' me ta stain my rifle in the blood of the innocent, and with a grin dancin' with moonlight I head inta the shadows and play myself a little game of huntsman and the lion. “ - Dekiah Doorvenstail

“ My father raised me ta be a killer. You should expect nothing but the bang of my rifle. “ - Dekiah Doorvenstail

“ Once you get blood on your hands it begins ta grow like a garden in your chest. But there's sumthin' different about this haunted little flowerbed. You begin ta realize that your ribcage was once Eden, but slowly, as the blood trickled down your fingers, Adam and Eve started fleein', the angel of flamin' blade nothing more then your heart that slowly faded ta black and grey. And as the serpent slithers onta your shoulder, you begin ta realize temptation lives in the hearts of all man kind. And only a special few accept their primal urges ta become nuthin' but a slaughterhouse on a cold Sunday afternoon. “ - Dekiah Doorvenstail

“ We were never wolves, my friend. But fragile people with hearts that can break and minds that can scar easy, but dare not turn to the shadows for comfort. They hold a dagger in one hand; and they hide it in the crevices of their darkness.” - Sabu Thorn

“ I think that if one is to find peace within themselves, they must first find peace within their scars. “ - Sabu Thorn

“ Eons ago I lost my mind.” - God

“ They say that dead men tell no tales; so who will whisper the tale of humanity once I'm done with it? “ - God

“ Everyone's always saying God's not dead. He's with us he's with us! But as I come down from my heavenly throne; the blood of humanity staining my shawl of lies and secrets; you'll pray that I am. But all your prayers have fallen on listening ears friend; and yet they never come to fruition, do they? “ - God

“ In the face of evil; silence is compliance.” - Gustave X. Van Velk

“ They don't tell you that the fall is so easy. They don't tell ya that we're all one crooked grin away from violence; so I take a steady step forward and throw a fist or two towards the evil that sits violent in this town of unwelcome shadows. “ - Gustave X. Van Velk

“ I've always tried to understand the enemy; walk a mile or two in their shoes, but Milos' boots are just too damn heavy and stuck in the muck of his powerful identity. “ - Gustave X. Van Velk

“ My sanity peels away in whispers and shadows.” - Cartniza Harvester

“ The word safe is such a fucking lie; no one ever is. “ - Cartniza Harvester

“ I don't know why this heart beats like a slowly rotting flower.” - Mackton Stoneshire

“ They say this Queen of madness is a revolver's shadow standing above peace; and she is. Because as she walks down these halls my bones shiver with shadows and things you could never dream of. Because she's a nightmare in the head of the weary; grinning deviously before she sins another deadly sin. And as my eyes shift to the checkered floors of this old mental ward; I know she can sense my fear. “ - Mackton Stoneshire

“ I'm still stuck under these shadows that fog my mind; heart roaring empty in the ribcage of a coffin. “ - Rupen Schello

“ I can still remember the night flames erupted inside my home; they now flash like colored lights in my memory, my parents' smiles becoming nothing but a shadow I can no longer follow. “ - Rupen Schello

“ A man with a memory can never be free of his torment.” - Rupen Schello

“ Every choice I ever made led to the death of who I am.” - Mervin Gavinwood

“ I never meant to fall; but I was born with the belief that I had wings, and so I leapt from blinding heights expecting to soar. “ - Mervin Gavinwood

“ The day I killed a man is the day I died. As his skull cracked against the bar stool; groaning and dying in the most grotesque way who I am started bleeding from the corners of my eyes as those two devils beside me laughed and laughed and laughed. “ - Mervin Gavinwood

“ He sits in the edges of my memory like a crow just waiting for his murder to come on along.” - Mervin Gavinwood

“ I've just been trying to cope with this loss of who I am for a long time; clinging to memories of him like a blanket that keeps me warm. But there's holes in this wool blanket; letting the cold settle into my bones. “ - Carol Corin

“ I weep for a life never lived; a death already fated. “ - Hexi Moorenfowl

“ Every detective has got her case, right? The one that drives her halfway to insanity because things just aren't adding up. I tried so hard to find those girls, I tried so hard to find that man's wife. But in the end it was a cold case that never went warm. “ - Maryland Fainrick

“ Mysteries often end in tragedy.” - Maryland Fainrick

“ I woke up in a foreign bed wondering why a stranger looked at me in the mirror; that was when I died an unfamiliar death. Falling from the heights of a Heaven I never deserved. “ - Kiddy Wendellburn

“ I choked on who I am a long time ago. And I don't think I can ever swallow my truths; because they taste so fucking vile. “ - Kiddy Wendellburn

“ "When you realize who you are, it's your job to become that person. “ - Adrella Soderit

“ We're all dreamers trying to find our happily ever after despite the nightmares that find us in the light; but don't you think it's the way we react to this darkness that defines who we are? “ - Adrella Soderit

“ So do me a favor and accept yourself won'tcha? Even when everyone around you condemns who you are. Even if you gotta keep that acceptance a secret in a little jar until one day, you can let those torch bugs fly into the open air." - Adrella Soderit

“ I don't know what one would call him. But he feasts on the sacrilege of identity and flesh, sinking his teeth into innocence as if it were a divine, juicy, blood dripping steak. I'm just the remnants of the girl I used to be, and as I remember his parched tongue against my skin a shive runs cold down my spine and my fighting instincts kick in. As if my mind is a clock forever running backwards. Minutes and hours mixed into a relived past. “ - Marlia Ferotosia

“ I remember his smile. Filled with teeth and unkempt flesh. “ - Marlia Ferotosia

“ I listened to her sorrows. Her troubles. Her secrets and confessions. But she was torn from this world much too early. And that is a sin a man like me can never forgive. “ - Zack Mordell

“ The old soul is supposed to fade before the young one. But fate is a very cruel mistress; dancing with those who don't know the rules to the deadly tango. “ - Zack Mordell

“ I'm a fading symphony wondering when my last notes will play out into the wind, but I keep singing. “ - Zack Mordell

“ Healing will come after the scars stop bleeding, so a little word of advice, don't stab those dagger like thoughts into your skin. “ - Cordemlia Munstwain

“ Some people say they aren't themselves, and I get that; sometimes it's difficult to admit that we're changing. Difficult to admit growth feels uncomfortable in the hurting mind. But eventually you'll grow into this new you. You'll find that it's often like a scab. It only forms to protect ya from the infection a wound leaves. “ - Cordemlia Munstwain

“ Some people say love at first sight don'it exist. And, I don't fink' it were love at first sight. But love at first spoken word. Love developed inside da poetry we spoke underneath da dyin' lights of the street. He's a broken man, but I built 'im new pieces and told 'im ta shimmer and shine like a star in the night sky; and it feels as though when I put a lovin' finger on 'is cheek dat he's started ta feel more human. As if 'e's no longer a whiskey stained ghost. “ - Daubellia O’Snair

“ Fate twists in some awfully strange ways, huh? You could be a normal, everyday girl, fighting hardly noticeable battles and then in the blink of an eye tragedy rips through the air like a bullet in your fucking teeth. “ - Alexia Hathorn

“ Sometimes you gotta make a choice. Live or die. And sometimes you'll do both.” - Alexia Hathorn

“ We're the scar ridden angels of Heaven, soaring on wings stitched with different pieces; like a quilt of many colors. We're not heroes, just people who got caught in the crossfire of a world roaring with evil. “ - Alexia Hathorn

“ Often people in pain's mind is fogged up from the hurt, and so they don't really know what they're doing, ya know? “ - Hispania Hopva

“ Death I've learned, stalks the living. “ - Hannisada Gravewit

“ You can't really cure addiction. It walks beside he or she who used. Like a ghost that doesn't know when or how to move on. Is it really that much to ask for a halfway decent mind? One that doesn't taunt me with the idea of one more fucking high? But I suppose it was my choice to accept that little baggie at a party, right? It was my idea to get addicted, right? That's what they always tell ya. They call the junkies and ghosts monsters of society, but damn it man, we've been victims all along. “ - Hannisada Gravewit

“ I tried to hide my scars under thick coats and heavy blankets, but I bled and soaked through those. So now here I stand. Naked and awfully vulnerable to my demons and ghosts." - Hannisada Gravewit

“ His insanity ripped me from my backbone when I was only a child. I can still remember the violence shattered between his knuckles, the anger on his cigarette snarl. I still remember the screams. The God awful screams. I've been trying to dream for a long time man, but these nightmares always plague the boy who never lived. The boy who never had the chance, to live. “ - Jonathan Enders

“ I just, I don't know how to escape these nightmares, man. Because that man's cruelty echoes in my mind; his smoke whispered anger booming through my thoughts. I was just a kid, man. But he stole that option from me when he put a bloodied finger to my lip and whispered that he was never here. Or when that old, boney skeleton beside him clasped two hands around my shoulder and whispered in a low, harsh voice that they were the boogeymen. And I believe that. Because the boogeyman is what goes bump in the night, right? And if there's anything that could be considered monster, I'd give the definition to them.” - Jonathan Enders

“ I take a fragile breath, hoping it doesn't rip through my throat like a bullet. “ - Jonathan Enders

“ I fought myself for such a long time only to realize the reflection had always been a friend. “ - Baila Von Cascia

“ Ya know how fate works, right? Ya meet one or two people and your whole world unravels. Sure. They're good people. You learn that they've become family somewhere along the road. But the villains you met alongside them just isn't worth it. “ - Joshua Houstella

“ I have fallen down this rabbit hole of oneself, gripping the roots of madness.” - Ingretta Shazowlla

“ I am nothing short of a sin. Nothing short of a monster masquerading as a woman. “ - Ingretta Shazowlla

“ This heart of mine has whispered in sin and death ever since my mother told me all of her secrets, the closet looking like a welcoming home where Narnia and all the lions would protect me. But fantasy has never been as cruel, and unpredictable as reality. For reality hides until the right moment. Waiting. Forever waiting. And one day it snatches you so unaware and drags you through the nightmares. Oh you may kick. You may scream. But you'll most certainly succumb. “ - Ingretta Shazowlla

“ Forever my friend, can last only a second as the white rabbit once said. And forever, has lasted too long for my angel." - Ingretta Shazowlla

“ I speak my truths in barely audible whispers, screaming my lies at glass shattered levels. “ - Molly Chain

“ My lonely little mind is slathered in grey and blue paint, memories glossed over with thick layers of dark color. I've tried to peal away that wallpaper. But there's endless layers in this house, and I just don't know how much strength I've got left. “ - Molly Chain

“ There's blisters on my strength, and I fear I'm about to slip. “ - Molly Chain

“ All my life I've been afraid. Of myself. Of my father. Of the shadows that hid like monsters in my closet. And as I come to the realization that I will never escape my mind, I know that this is who I am. And she's such a broken girl. A wisped shadow of something great. “ - Clarice Sanchez

“ I honestly believe God started typing me up, but he left to work on something greater and left me an unfinished piece of poetry, as if my prose bleed into the way fate unravels and twists. “ - Clarice Sanchez

“ My peace of mind bleeds from the holes in my heart. “ - Clarice Sanchez

“ From what I know cruelty is the last guillotine, and we're just whittlin' down the rope, wonderin' when it'll snap and fall down on humanities head. “ - Leone Kassophic

“ God's voice is echoed through violence.” - Leone Kassophic

“ If my sins were tangible, would I bleed upon contact? “ - Darkin Vagabond

“ Truthfully I am not me. Just a graveyard symphony ringing like the funeral bell, revolver held in one hand, regrets held feebly in the other.” - Darkin Vagabond

“ I look to the star painted sky and wonder what prayers he's been answering, which whispers screamed the loudest. “ - Zelene Clifforde

“ I am a lover at heart, wishing poetry and words spoken could heal the damage of war. And truthfully, that is the only way to stop a war. You speak to the enemy with a certain understanding. You try to discover who they are past the violence shattered between their bruised and bloodstained knuckles." - Zelene Clifforde

“ I am a gentle soul at heart, but alas, I sharpen my claws and go to war like a sinner who doesn't know when to quit, like an old, tattered wolf who wishes to quit all the bloodshed. “ - Yngvir Alvisson

“ Often I wonder if this heart should just quit feeling. Quit letting the blood stain it like a memory that shalt not be forgotten. But I pick up my heart, and I shove it fragile and broken back inside my ribcage. For to become a beast, my friend, is the loneliest achievement of all. “ - Yngvir Alvisson

“ Way I see it. Hate is a revolver. These men and women fill their chamber with all the good pieces of themselves, firing off for a cause that never mattered, something that shouldn't even exist. “ - Jaspello Crosshair

“ In every sense of the word I'm the hero I needed when I was a kid. “ - Jaspello Crosshair

“ Take life one step at a time, second by second, minute by minute. Eventually the storm will pass you by. Sometimes it feels as though you're not gonna make it, but that's the kind of thing tragedy whispers, it tells you lies in an attempt to weaken your resolve. “ - Chris Shaw

“ Debby and I treat life like a workout. We breathe in. We breathe out. We face it head on and don't let the idea of pain stop us. “ - Chris Shaw

“ I was just a farm girl lookin' for a happily ever after, but that wicked and damned man stole the light from me layer by layer. It's as if he carved pieces 'a me off 'a my skin, whisper by whisper, sin by unnatural sin. “ - Ellen Duster

“ There's so many pieces 'a me missin' nowadays. “ - Ellen Duster

“ Redemption is a sunset, and it jus' don' ever rise." - Ellen Duster

“ I tried to build a paper boat and drift away from my prison cell, but the storm started howling in my mind and I fell off the side, clutching the paper rafts and oars, wondering why this is how life drowned me. Some men drown in whiskey. Others drown in sorrow. But all I ever drowned in was the tragedy of being someone I'm not. “ - Isaac Abernathy

“ If a lie fits the powerful man's agenda, he'll do anything he can to make that lie a truth, or at least make it appear as such. “ - Jacob Abernathy

“ I can still remember how that man told me that we'd save the world together, that as the bombs started going off, we'd be the men history looked at and said, "Well done, heroes, you did it." But as I watched the world fall asunder, my heroes heart fading into a broken one, I knew that all the man did was lie to my good nature, and it was on that day, unaware, I bit into the sacrilege of false revolution. “ - Jacob Abernathy

“ I was just a girl without shadows in her mind until I stumbled into a rabbit hole of Godhood and the way blood spills on the arena floor. And as I fell, little pieces of me being carved off by the blade of a malicious God, I knew that I must have more of this undying pleasure. “ - Sonata Vickowinter

“ I'm just a broken bottle angel who forgot his wings on the downward descent.” - Ash Caesar

“ Often I say I'm better off dead, because this man I am is hardly worth a damn, let alone two cents and a nickel, so I glug down another bottle of whiskey and let my little sister down one more fucking time. “ - Ash Caesar

“ I always say I'll change, but everyone else is running a marathon, and here I am, standing stagnant at the starting line. I dare not cross that line in the sand. Because I'm scared of the regret, the shadows, the way my mother's words echo in the ones I scream. “ - Ash Caesar

“ Truth is, I can still remember the way my mother's open palm felt against my cheek, or how her wine glass felt shattered against my noggin. But those glass pieces of her addiction bleed into me. “ - Ash Caesar

“ All I see in the mirror is a man who fell so cruelly away from himself, and as my sister reached for my hand, I let it slip. And all she could do was watch as this regretful Icarus laughed in the flames." - Ash Caesar

“ I have found, that I am the single black rose in the garden, sitting idle like a warning of what will come if you step towards this black petaled beast, this decaying flower of cruelty. “ - Madam Stephanie Rose

“ I am a tired beast. “ - Madam Stephanie Rose

“ I was once in an empty room. Love knocked, oh how she knocked gently, so softly. As if it were a song that whispered into my ear. But hate drove her away. He knocked, he knocked, oh how rage filled his fist boomed against the door. With tears rolling down my cheeks I let him in. He stole the blankets from off the bed and wrapped them around my throat, choking me with the violence inside of my heart. And ever so cruelly, I became a black, withered, and deadly rose." - Madam Stephanie Rose

“ I sink ever familiar into this garden of decay, praying that someone will save me from the blood on my hands I speak of like darkened poetry. But death, was never a story. Only a harsh sin ridden reality I've given to so many others. How strange is it, that death is the end of reality, but also one in of itself? “ - Mike Duster

“ I'm a man of many sins. “ - Mike Duster

“ I slowly flay myself from my own skin, screaming, forever screaming. I carve another layer of me from off my skin. I subject myself to the meat hook and try so desperately to bleed all the darkness from the crevices of me, but alas, to bleed myself from the darkness would be to bleed all of me away. For all that runs through me is dark, twisted and unfamiliar. “ - Mike Duster

“ The truth, does not whisper, my friend. It screams.” - Ava Callenwillow

“ Secrets stick to me, and more often than not they take over my identity, pulling me into the depths of another shadow, another mystery with my name written all over it. I've been running from fate for a long time, finding ways to avoid this noose around my neck for years, but one day the stable ground beneath me will collapse. And I'll be nothing but history. “ - Ava Callenwillow

“ Wherever I go, death tends to follow like a loyal wolf whom sits at my bedside, howling to the blood red moon that is my wicked and decaying heart. “ - Tezilda Vaxweed

#writer #author #characterwriting #dialogue #characterdevelopment

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persephonesfill · 5 years

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My OCs: TYatD

@anarchscry you asked for this very long post so you’ve made your bed, now lay in it. (jk jk i love you)

Osanna Gaza, 17 (on the verge of 18), She, Her, Hers. Osanna is the eldest child of Ivon Gaza (who is a fucking BITCH) and Adelina Gaza (who has never done anything wrong in her life ever). Osanna is the princess of Astoria (one of the kingdoms I created) but she’s not the heir to the throne since Astoria doesn’t practice equal primogeniture. She’s not bitter at all. Really. She has long golden blonde hair, dark blue eyes, tall, lithe stature and fair skin that tans easily (yes that’s relevant to the plot). Osanna is prone to bouts of jealousy and pettiness, especially when she doesn’t get her way. She’s headstrong and as stubborn as an ox, much to her father’s chagrin. It’s a struggle for him to get his daughter to do anything he wants. She isn’t all bad though. Osanna would do anything for her family, especially for her youngest brother, Eden, and isn’t one to balk at confrontation. Osanna is smart, resourceful, and ambitious. All she wants is to be recognized for her mind, which is her greatest strength, and she spends the majority of my book trying to get that recognition. She’s also bi as fuck 🌈🌈 I’m putting the rest under a read more bc holy fuck this got long

Lani Neda, 17 (on the verge of 18), She, Her, Hers. Lani was orphaned at a very young age. Her parents were found mauled to death in her family home after they refused to let her leave home to attend the school meant for spellcasters secreted away in the mountains of Maras (another kingdom I created). Coincidentally, the caster who came to visit was also the one to pull her from the orphanage and take her to Magai (the school/city for casters) anyway. Totally not related at all. Lani was basically a child soldier, trained in magic, combat, and espionage, and only concerned with protecting the royal family of Maras, especially princess Mai, who’s her closest friend. Lani had short, dark, curling hair, brown skin, and eyes so brown that they appear black. She’s short but well-muscled from her training (and reliable palace meals). Not every orphan is as lucky. Even when she's not aware of it, Lani carries herself like a soldier; back straight, firm stance and arms at her sides ready to salute or unsheathe her weapon at a moment's notice. Lani is quick on her feet, abrasive, and not the easiest person to get to know. All her life she's had her weaknesses exploited and vowed to never show weakness again. She's intuitive and relies more on instinct rather than logic. She's loyal to a fault and can be absolutely ruthless in battle, holding nothing back. Lani is brave and willing to fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. She's serious and seldom jokes around with others. She hates when people don't apply themselves or give up prematurely. She always gives it her all and expects everyone else to do the same. She values hard work, tenacity, and strength. She’s also gay as fuck (for Mai and later Osanna) 🌈🌈.

Aidan Aterra, 18, He, Him, His. Aidan, like Lani, is also an orphan, except he never knew his parents. His caretaker at the orphanage, Dame Mara Finch, or Dead-Eyes as the children called her behind her back for her pale grey eyes, said that he had been left out on the porch of the Foxbrook orphanage in the middle of one the worst blizzards Iskald (another kingdom) had ever seen. His lips had been bluer than death, his skin cold to the touch. She told him that she had contemplated leaving him outside and letting nature continue to run its course but as soon as she had turned around to close the door, the most ghastly wail had burst forth from his lips. He grew up in the orphanage constantly being reminded of her kindness and her generosity, even when he went to bed without supper, or was forced to sleep in the manor’s old dungeons when he misbehaved. When Aidan was ten, he had decided enough was enough and that he was going to run away from the orphanage, making it as far as to the marketplace of their town. Aidan tried to pickpocket a mercenary and ended up following him home instead. The mercenary, and his mercenary company, the Fox Claws, took him in and Aidan was raised in their life of killing, thieving, and the occasional case of vigilante justice. Normally, Aidan is a fun-loving and spontaneous boy who isn’t one to shy away from a party or conversation (only with people he’s let in). He’s also observant, a trait that has saved his life more times than he can count. However, in extreme situations of distress, such as his childhood at the orphanage and his life after Asher’s disappearance, Aidan withdraws on himself. He’s more prone to risky behavior and uncaring about his wellbeing. He feels a growing numbness inside of his chest and wonders why he should even bother doing anything at all. He also experiences intense regret and self-loathing. He’ll never tell anyone though. Lord knows Dead-Eyes didn’t like criers. All Aidan’s life, he's been met with derision and prejudice due to him being an orphan and likely a bastard. His personality is a result of that. He's sarcastic. Evasive. Shuttered. He puts on a devil-may-care facade to keep others out. Although he can be selfless and kind around children, Aidan is usually self-concerned. He rarely thinks about the consequences of his actions. Some view him as brave for all of the dangerous situations he welcomes with open hands. Others think he's just plain stupid and has a death wish. Aidan always likes to jape that it's a little bit of both. Aidan has black hair that touches the tips of his ears, and strange eyes for an Iskali, who all typically have blue or gray eyes. Aidan's eyes are hazel. Not quite brown. Not quite green. That paired with the olive cast to his skin tone makes him an outsider among the Iskali. After the disappearance and suspected death of his best friend and partner in crime, for which he is the main suspect, all Aidan wants to die is fuck off from the main continent and drink his way into an early grave so he can be with his best friend, Asher, again. He’s also pan as fuck 🌈🌈

Kali Sylva, 16, She, Her, Hers. Kali is the daughter of Alwin Sylva and Tiatha Meimri, and the crown princess of Dererra (another kingdom. you get the idea). Kali is also the sole heir to the throne, due to her being the only child of Alwin and Tiatha. Her very existence is a bit controversial, at least in Dererra. Dererrans are extremely traditional (read: pretentious, prejudiced fucks) and expected for Alwin to marry a Dererran noblewoman. Instead, he married Tiatha, a Khosagho (another kingdom) native. Princess Kali Sylva is a walking contradiction. Quiet, yet opinionated. Shy, yet brave. Sweet, yet fierce. Kali has little confidence in herself and often thinks the worst of others—mainly because they assume the worst of her. Half-breed, they call her. Part Dererran, part Khosaghi. Kali is straightforward and doesn’t much care for silver-tongued folk. She likes to keep to herself and more often than not, prefers the company of animals over humans. She struggles with being from two different worlds and doesn’t feel as if she belongs anywhere. Around friends, Kali can let loose and be herself, and even be playful. With strangers, Kali is reserved and keeps to herself in fear of being reprimanded. Kali is prone to reading into something too much and jumping to conclusions. The only time she feels at peace with herself is when she’s in woodlands of her home with her bow in her hands. Part of her feels as if she doesn’t deserve the throne due to the years of scorn and derision she’s been faced with from other Dererrans. Kali has jet black hair, done in one of the traditional Khosaghi styles, with it being in long, uniform braids. She has smooth dark brown skin, and her father’s bright green eyes. Kali has broad shoulders and strong arms from years of firing a bow and elegant, high cheekbones.

Cyd Pollock, 15 going on 16, He, Him, His. Cyd is the son of Myra, an innkeeper, and Cyrus Pollock, privateer turned full-blown pirate. For nine years of his life, Cyd never knew his father. It was just him, his mother, and their roadside inn, The Dirty Wolf, and that was all they needed. Everything was fine until a wave of influenza swept through western Masae and his mother, Myra, had fallen ill. Two weeks later, she passed away. Cyd was only nine. His father showed up a week later, stricken by grief, he took in his only son and raised him in the company of pirates, thieves, and murderers. Ever since then, Cyd has had to watch his back. He never knew what his father was like before the death of his mother. He’s only ever known a hard man who was impossible to please. The slightest toe out of line, and Cyd was subjected to cruel and unusual punishment. He learned to keep his mouth shut, don’t ask questions about his father’s “business” and to keep to himself. Cyd keeps to himself. As long as he asks no questions, as long as he doesn’t mouth off, he’s safe. Sometimes in particularly emotional moments he loses control and has a slip of the tongue; a witty comment here, a sarcastic barb there, and he takes the consequences every time. Cyd is very insecure and can’t help but care what people think about him, especially his father and his pirate crew. He hates how much he craves their approval but relishes the rare moments where he’s bestowed with praise. He’s smart though. Smarter than people give him credit. All the years he’s sat in silence, he’s picked up a few tricks from those around him. When he puts his mind to it, he can complete any task with accuracy and fervor. Cyd has wavy sandy hair that falls into his dark brown eyes. Cyd has fair skin and his body is speckled with freckles from spending hours upon hours out in the sun. He has rough, calloused hands from years of pulling and tying sailing ropes and hauling heavy cargo. He has many scars, most along his hands and wrist, although there is one particular scar below his bottom lip from where he had gotten a fish hook stuck in his face as a child. Cyd is relatively short, standing at about 5’9. He hasn’t yet hit his growth spurt. The last vestiges of youth are starting to fade though. The baby fat in his face is starting to melt away and revealing the shadow of a strong jaw.

#tyatd #my ocs #holy FUCK this is long

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jewellsfrommaruss · 4 years

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STS! im gonna pull an uno reverse card and ask you what YOUR ocs would be like if they slashers?

Sorry for the wait! @crystallized-ink

Morrigan - Your Jason Voorhees, says nothing, never runs but is somehow always behind you, wields a gladius

Jadette - Pretty clean for a slasher, usually doesn’t even do her own dirty work but occasionally does take a knee busting into her own hands when it needs a personal touch

Porcia - Husband number 3 just isn’t up to snuff, why are they always more interesting when they’re dating?, and she doesn’t want to go to court again

Alwin - When the ladies above need a body disposed off, and they’re not looking to make a scene, they drop it off at Alwin’s. There is so much potential leather and tendon string in a body, he’d hate to waste it

Abudemio - Don’t worry :) He’s nice :D We’re just doing a little experiment to find out the exact temperature the human body starts shutting down!

Mishca - She finally tamed that Blizzard Beak! But these monsters can talk and it is hungry (Very much a Seymour and Twoey situation)

Cecilia - Listen she’s trying to live in the woods, if a bunch of hedonistic teenagers decide her spooky cabin is the perfect spot for a party they yea, she’s gonna sling some curses and summon some monsters!

Timothy - A comedy slasher, lots of one liners and jokes, doesn’t land the killing blow at the first opportunity because that cuts the fun short (a habit that gets him in a lot of trouble)

Nevan - Two words, Yan and Dere. People always seem to have secret ulterior motives for loving him but if he took someone hostage he wouldn’t have to guess anymore!

Cheshire - The mistake when you take him home is thinking you’re only taking him home but don’t worry he’ll keep you company during most of the home invasion!

#the family #difficult to write cause my cats are Needy #this was so fun!#I need to do more of those jewell family as posts #headbanger-deluxe

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agar18 · 5 years

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Martha Atienza - "Our Islands, 11°16`58.4" 123°45`07.0"E" (2017)

(NOTES FOUND IN NOTEBOOK: pg 13)

Ive been looking more into Filipino artists like Martha Atienza, Alfredo and Isabel Aquilizan as well as past Filipino artist shows such as https://artradarjournal.com/2016/01/12/wasak-filipino-art-today-at-arndt-berlin/?utm_source=feedly&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=wasak-filipino-art-today-at-arndt-berlin in 2016, and in 2014: http://www.arndtfineart.com/website/page_40589?year=2014. As well as the 2019 APT 9 show on in Brisbane showcasing multiple Filipino artists!

What I’ve discovered is that what holds common for all of these filipino artists, aside from theri nationality, is their ammount of knowledge on their own culture and therefore the ability to critique it however they want.

I think it is very well captured in this article about the 2016 ‘WASAK!’ show in Berlin:

“After more than four hundred years of suppression by colonial rule, having experienced political upheavals and natural disasters time and again, and having eventually fostered a culture of diaspora, with millions of Filipinos migrating to different countries every year in the search for a more promising future, the effects of these conditions, however convoluted, are the only indisputable clues in defining Filipino art. The artists in this exhibition provide us with an opportunity to glimpse various parts of the history of this fragmented archipelago.”

In these shows and across the artworks and artists from the Philippines that Ive been looking into it is clear that I am just scratching the surface of our culture. They have all grown up with the history, the traditions, the environment all around them (all are born and raised in the Philippines and were still living there) that it gives them the ability to comment and critique the society and the history how they like. However, for myself, I find that I hardly know anything about my history and culture to be able to comment about anything!

I am caught between this very odd space, where I am still a Filipino by race, and therefore, due to hindsight have come to accept and appreciate that, and want to celebrate and enjoy this new found side of myself...

BUT

At the same time, I am also an outsider and foreigner to this culture of mine as I have grown up so removed from it. I basically have an outsider’s perspective on the Philippines. Almost, if I could say it, a view on the verge of the exotic. Therefore, do I really have the right knowledge or capacity to actually look back on the history and culture and say something about it?

Thus, I have come to the conclusion that I really can and have the capacity to comment adn reflect on my own life hostory so far and its interaction with my culture that way. I cannot tackle it as a whole just yet, but I CAN adress what I myself have experienced due to migration, family history and how I’ve come back in touch with it all in recent years.

THE ARTISTS:

I have come to this thinking, by looking at these different artists as I find that ones like Alfredo and Isabel as well as Martha Atienza are more focussed on showing to the world the kind of situation within the Philippines, help to raise awairness of others around the world and their own backgrounds and people. Meanwhile artists such as Alwin Reamillo and Norberto Roldan are focussed on critiquing and questioning their own history and culture. Why they have been brought up this way, why things are this way in the Philippines today. I know that the Aquilizans are themselves migrants to Australia and are therefore obviously more in touch with migrant issues and telling these stories, but the artists who are more constantly in the Philippines and brought up their whole lives there are therefore wanting to critique more the culture they have grown with. Looking at it with a more local gaze rather than for one outside looking in. As when someone on the outside looks at the Aquilizan’s artworks, they may understand and resonate more with those than with the works that deal more directly with certain moments, movements and people in Philippine history.

Thus, I feel like I am still very much more identified with the Aquilizan’s practice and way of working/ their ideas as their point of view is more similar and relatable to my own. One that I feel is on the same wave length as myself while I am still on my way to learning more about my own culture. As migrants, I believe its a shared experience many people can relate to, positives and harships alike, and is what I have greatly come in contact with in my life. It has become my main focus as it is what I know most about basically, as I am sure they understand as well. So moving forward, I feel more confident now that I have grasped and sifted through all these ideas and hopefully it will help the making process narrow down a bit more.

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body-in-revolt · 5 years

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Performance on the edge of existence: Kris Verdonck's SOMETHING (out of nothing)

an essay by Kristof van Baarle

Recently, the British newspaper The Guardian changed its language policy with regard to the changing climate. Climate change, became ‘climate emergency’ and instead of global warming, it now says: global heating. The newspaper does this in order to make the urgency clear and to break familiarization – people get used to a catastrophe -.

And the urgency is real: scientists not only establish more and more tipping points and points of no return, they themselves are surprised by the speed with which glaciers and ice plains are melting, and perhaps most of all by the active denial by some of the most powerful world leaders. Part of the climate emergency is the alarming so-called 'sixth mass extinction' that is currently taking place. This means that in the 4.5 billion years of planet Earth's history, there have only been five other periods in which so many species have died out. The dubious protagonist in this story, we can see in the mirror: the human being. It is our lifestyle, our emissions, our eating habits, our urge for growth and expansion that push the planet on a certain path towards exhaustion and extinction. The solutions we come up with, usually with great hopes for technology, only make the situation worse. Whatever we do or invent, in the long run the only option is to do less, stop. We find ourselves in a kind of deadlock, in which we are already with one foot in the grave.

It is this situation, this state of being, that Kris Verdonck tries to shape in SOMETHING (out of nothing). A situation that we ourselves do not yet fully understand, that may be beyond understanding, and that we should explore more in terms of feeling, by touch.

Kris Verdonck's work is extremely consistent: time and again it examines the relationship between man and his environment, in installations, choreographies and performances that all gauge the zero degree of the theatre. Since the Industrial Revolution in the 18th century, this environment has increasingly begun to be filled with technology, to the point where it is almost entirely determined by it today. Thanks to the development of technologies, we have been able to fundamentally change the landscape, the air and the soil in and on which we live. This requires us to learn to deal with endings: the end of the existence of certain species and landscapes, of lifestyles, but also to deal with the increasingly clear horizon of the end of man, and by extension: the end of our own individuals' lives.

This shift in the world is also reflected in Kris Verdonck's oeuvre. Whereas in the earlier works human performers were often placed in constellations with machines - such as the dancers in I/II/III/IIII that was taken up by ICK in 2017 - the more recent performances focus on the relationship between 'free' bodies and the environment of the theatre apparatus. That seems simpler, but the opposite is true. Whereas in I/II/III/IIII the dancers hung in armour and were able to float up and down, and from left to right, telling something about the relationship between beauty, technology and catastrophe, the context for the dancers in SOMETHING (out of nothing) is more open. On a mostly empty stage, with an 'open' light, four figures appear. Their faces behind masks, their bodies dressed in black velvet bodysuits, it seems as if they are almost gone. There is no reason to do anything: there is no story, there is no machine that drives them. And yet they try to do something, simple movements, a jump, a turn, some crawl around, connect two movements, follow each other: do something not to do nothing, but to perform the nothingness in which they find themselves. To make the emptiness, the despair, the boredom, the pointlessness of the situation tangible, to make it 'happen' instead of showing it. SOMETHING is a search for how choreography can become a performance, rather than a written movement that has a beginning and an end. ‘Something’ has to happen, namely nothing. In SOMETHING (out of nothing), Kris Verdonck searches for the performance of the thin line between presence and absence, for that state of being in which you may still be physically there, but where your existence no longer has any impact because your role is already played out. How to perform, what to dance, after everything is over? What is a choreography, after the end?

This performance is the next step in what has become a series of performances that explore the imminent end of mankind on the (world) stage. What started with UNTITLED (2014), a performance for a performer in a mascot suit, in which we discovered 'nothing' as something that can be performed, was continued in 2017 in Conversations (at the end of the world). In this theatre performance based on the work of the Russian writer Daniil Charms, we found ourselves in a space after the end of theatre. Five people were on stage together and told each other a number of stories that led to nowhere. They tried with great imagination to understand the world and death, to finally disappear into the mountains of grey snow that had formed on stage. SOMETHING (out of nothing) is a search for a step further. After the drama, after the words, all that remains is the body, the physical presence. And in times of extinction and climate emergency, this presence also starts to diminish. What remains to be done after everything has been done and said? Which movements are still appropriate? This is really about a place and a time we don't know, can't know, because it goes beyond the limit of life - into death and the end. That's why we've consulted the Japanese Noh Theatre tradition, in which a ghost is always the main character. In order to perform the suffering of this character, to make it happen on stage, music, language, costume, light, scenography and dance are used. The story is told three times, and each time the perspective shifts to a more inner experience, each time it becomes more intense. The last scene is a dance to music and text, a ritual in which the memory of the suffering coincides with the reliving of it. We also follow this structure in SOMETHING (out of nothing), in order to penetrate as deeply as possible into the darkness of the ecological catastrophe.

Strangely enough, this sometimes leads to comic moments. Maybe this shouldn't come as a surprise, because besides Noh we also looked at the work of Samuel Beckett. The senselessness of existence and the resulting torments also had theatrical consequences for Beckett: actors and actresses were placed under a tight control, in which light and scenography play an important role, and of course the continuous repetition. Not only in Waiting for Godot, but also in shorter pieces such as Act Without Words I and II, this led to a kind of dark humour, an absurdity that reveals a deep existential crisis. It is perhaps this inspiration from Beckett that also leaves an opening for a small point of light in the darkness. No hope, but more a conclusion: they will continue, even if they cannot: I can't go on, I will go on. The question is how to fill in our existence towards the end. What keeps us from living to the fullest in times of destruction, to prevent people from living where they want to live? What is stopping us, in this state of emergency, from throwing away the mantra of growth and just doing 'less'? If we don't do it for ourselves, we will do it at least for the generations of people and other animals, plants - who knows machines - that come after us. The next generation bears the consequences of the actions of the current and previous generations. We must learn to die in these times, and ask ourselves how we can do this in a responsible way. A first step is to shape the darkness that characterizes these times.

Kristof van Baarle is a dramaturge and researcher. He received his PhD in art sciences at Ghent University in 2018, titled From the cyborg to the apparatus. Figures of posthumanism in the philosophy of Giorgio Agamben and the contemporary performing arts of Kris Verdonck . As a dramaturge Kristof is attached to Kris Verdonck / A Two Dogs Company, and he worked / works with Michiel Vandevelde, Heike Langsdorf, Thomas Ryckewaert and Alexander Vantournhout.

Pictures Alwin Poiana and Bas de Brouwer (portrait).

#kris verdonck #climate change #performance #visual arts #noh theatre #Samuel Beckett #end

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silverhands-etcetera · 5 years

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On The Road, Again.

Oh my, it’s been some time, hasn't it? There ain’t a lot of words I can think of to express the change and the loss and the perspective that has come into play since the last time I took to writing my days down on these pages. Perhaps in due time we’ll get around to telling all of the stories, if I can manage to get them out -a few of the tales bring water to my eyes, so maybe it’s good that the medium I work in here is just words, consumed long after they are brought to bear.

Whoa, that got dramatic…

Get this- we’re on tour. I’m in a plane, way up over Saskatchewan. Currently, My parents are in Virginia, my brothers are in their homes, Esme is in Rock Island & BJ is up there in the upper Mississippi valley, Joy & Tom are just above Greenlake, Jack is in Bellevue, Lucien is in Kirkland playing guitar, Ethan is in Nashville, Julian is mixing your next favorite record, and Aimee, Sherri & Michael are a few rows behind me in this huge metal tube up in the sky.

But it wasn’t supposed to be this way - all of us on a direct flight in the same plane, that is. I bought a ticket that sent me through Salt Lake City, entirely on the basis of economy. That was a couple months ago. A whole lot has transpired since then, on the road to me sitting in 23B, and pecking out this story.

This trip has been in the works for some time. Back when we were young & idealistic & slightly more foolish than I am right now.(I am aware that I changed our pronoun in mid sentence there, but it seems more correct that way.) I only jest a little about my altered level of foolishness. I know it’s a bit of a cliche, but sometimes there are events that open your eyes to how things really are, the people who glue your world together, and the people we hold esteem for without any real reason except for the ideas in our own heads. I’ve spent a lot of my life making space for, and forgiving the acts of one particular person. I wish it wasn’t so, but sometimes it takes a full-on tragedy to open the eyes of a fool such as I. I’m not gonna get into that right now, but I’m in a space where there is no grey area. I am heavy on regrets & light on shame or burdens.

I ain’t taken a band on the road for a couple years now. I have walked a many hundreds of miles in Spain in my last couple visits, but haven’t played a proper gig on the european continent since the (pre-election) 2016 tour. And my travel writing has dropped off too. Last spring, I thought I was in bad shape. I was nursing a broken heart, for sure. Since then I have lost my most noble role model, my strongest mentor, and the Dog who straight-up saved my life when I couldn’t find my identity or purpose. So yeah, a few things have changed. Anybody who knew Manolo, Steve or Faron would readily understand how the world is different without them in it. I’ve learned a lot from the choices they made, and the self-righteous acts of those who would take their choices away from them. I wish there was a way I could have learned the lesson without all the grief, but we all know that real lessons don’t come cheap.

As always, I digress. -

I think it was around February this year, I was talking to Alwin about bringing Silverhands back to Germany. We were talking about a gig in Erkelenz. I’d been rethinking what my band meant. Trying to get the songs to return to their essence, so to speak. Along the way, if I could step up my guitar playing that’d be pretty cool too… so Silverhands is a 3-piece band now. Just Aimee on the drums & Sherri on the bass, and most dramatically different- just me on guitar. We work really hard on letting the songs breathe and just exist. Many times in the past I have felt the joy of being pulled along by the songs and the people playing them. It’s a beautiful thing to hear a little sonic progeny of your very own sitting up and telling you how the ride is gonna go. Showing you that it has a voice of its own & there ain’t nothing you can do about it. Kinda how I imagine it’s like to have grown children. But songs ain’t children, and they are never too old for me to put over my knee & change their attitude when I see fit.

This stage in the life of my band is where I chill the hell out & try to assess where the songs are, and to potentially cull anything that doesn’t stand up on it’s own. I’ve been blessed with some inspired lead players -folks who can slip deeper melodic passages between the & and the 1 than I often manage to fortify an entire verse with. The beauty of this is that I can show up to any gig, hack out three chords and an occasional minor VI, and somebody is gonna turn it into music. Right now I’m trying to make sure I’m holding up my end of the bargain, and hoping to inform any future songwriting with a deeper level of independence from flourish. Clapton did a good job with JJ Cale songs, but they were all better when they were just JJ Cale songs.

I play with a few bands. Silverhands doesn’t even get the bulk of my time. I am lucky enough to play gigs with lots of varied folks playing all kinds of stuff, but I’m only IN just a couple of bands -I still get to play drums for the Joy Mills band, I play prog-funk & straight-up hardcore bluegrass on the bass fiddle with Supernatal & Darlin’ Do, respectively, and I rock the shit out of the electric Bass with Del Vox (if I might say so myself).

All y’all know that Del Vox is Sherri Jerome. And Sherri Jerome is Del Vox. I loooove these songs. There’s a lot of challenge in them, and consequently, there is much reward in playing with this batch of people.

It so happened that Sherri & I were both considering tour booking around the same time. Our bands’ unique personnel situations allowed us an opportunity to benefit from the usually mundane and costly logistics of travel. We booked each band on its own short run of dates, in mostly the same circuit of venues, back-to-back from the middle of September to the middle of October. Both bands are hitting some familiar haunts & some fresh new cities. (I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been to Temse) (I actually have very few retrievable memories of belgium in general, but I’m pretty sure it’s always a good time)

As the tours started coming together, we began the long process of planning, preparing, refining our concepts, & ultimately packing our bags. I spent a lot of time deferring the literal act of packing, as well as much of the intangible act of “planning”, due to a hyper-busy summer into autumn -I have been playing a lot of bass gigs, stretching out on some country chops that I apparently grew up knowing, but never had the sense to use before now. I love learning new music & playing with new bands, but it takes up a big part of my brain, and ultimately all the clerical duties of being in a band tend to suffer for the sake of The Gig. I recognize that gigs are dependent on me being able to plan/book them, but when that big boulder gets rolling, sometimes you just do your best to stay in front of it.

So I bought a plane ticket awhile back, but really hadn’t put any thought into “planning” anything until Monday, and hadn’t considered “packing” until Tuesday morning. On Monday I realized that I had basically one pair of pants. And I was about to share a van with 3 people for a month. On Tuesday, newly outfitted, I realized I had no luggage that would fit all of the things I need to carry for this venture. Enter the Goodwill on 145th…

A giant, yet slim, tweed trunk, like the kind you'd expect to see on top of a stagecoach, goes home with me on Tuesday. I took the neck of my ’72 Geddy Lee Jazz bass & toss it in with about 20 plain black t-shirts and some socks. I am set.

I still had a gig to play on Tuesday night, so Jack loaned me his slick new blonde Jazz bass, which plays like 80 degree butter, and I went down to Conor’s to sew some pockets with Kelly Van Camp in Fredd’s new Tuesday-night project. My plan was to drink one beer & head home straight after the gig, but the North Star beckoned, and I was out till roughly 2:30, in bed by 3. It was a good night.

My eyes open around 9 AM on Wednesday. All I know is that I need to pick up the drummer at 1, and I need to get my second pair of pants in the laundry. I take a moment to consider falling back asleep, just playing guitar all morning, or any number of things more lovely than washing clothes & lugging suitcases. But we’ve got a job to do, and it starts with some cabbage & eggs. Just like every morning.

When I consider intangibles like “time” and “distance”, it always seems feasible that you could do all you need to do, clean up the dishes, take a nap, a walk in the park, entertain guests, and get a shine on your shoes all before 1pm. As it was, it was all I could do to meet up with the coffee crew up at the Herkimer before the headache started setting in. It was good to get a breather in what was going to be a very long day. Jackie & Aimee & I sat in the sun and moderated our respective awarenesses with warm beverages, warm sun and oxygen. Joy met us up at Graycie’s house, where we all piled in the van with our cases & bags and the remainder of an old flask that Aimee found in the back seat of my car. Let’s get this show on the road.

It was all we could do to find a table at the airport bar, another story altogether in getting any beverages brought to us. So after one round, I had to split to head to my gate & get on my two-part flight, while the rest of the band gets on the direct flight an hour later (remember, this was the story I was telling) but at my gate, there was no airplane. I expressed my concerns at the help desk in missing my connection, and the dear woman immediately rebooked me on the direct Seattle-Amsterdam flight. With the rest of my band.

A short train ride over to the international terminal, and now here I am. Or here we are, as it were.

Now that I’ve had my airline bottle of Dewar’s & a tiny chicken salad and fruit cup, we’re all up to speed -the only real variable being, will my old tweed trunk and the precious bass inside of it get to Amsterdam with me? But this is ultimately a question for the next episode, which starts roughly when the sun rises over Holland on Thursday morning.

At this point in the blog, we’ll find ourselves at the beginning of one story, chronologically, but also at the end, as things go on the page. Feel free to continue reading about my previous adventures, walking in Spain, and past tours way back to some bygone days.

Thanks for coming along for the ride.

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sublimegentlemanalpaca · 5 years

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Faerie and Lying for my purposes regarding the FoE and what not...

Okay...annoyingly I’ve been unable to find any concrete particular reason or reasons as to why Faeries/Fairies can’t lie. Not even different reasons or explanations. Just little things of ‘oh and they can’t lie’ yes but WHY? It’s a simple question? I haven’t even been able to find reasons in other things. Like, apparently in that Dresden Files book series (which I haven’t yet read, but seems like something I’d enjoy) fairies can’t lie. But if there is a reason it’s buried in a Wiki or something. On the other hand, there are examples of Faeries/Fairies that don’t bother with this mystical compulsion for truth. The only example I can think of at the present moment is the Faerie Wars Chronicles by Herbie Brennan (by the way, has anyone else read that series?). As such, I’ve decided that I will have the Faeries of Faerie and Elfphame not tell lies, but for different reasons. First I’ll give one reason they may not be able to tell lies if there is just one reason. That being some sort of Old Magic/Deep magic Binding or whatever between the Fae and Elves, and the Eldritch Fellows following the slaying of Alaric....but it might be better for there to be differing reasons‘ cultural’ ones for lack of a better term. I will give the reasons for no lies in each Kingdom of Faerie Before the Five Kingdoms I should mention the Green Folk. The truly oldest sort of Fae/Elf. This Includes The Green Knight Bertilak, and the Good Fellows like Rosemary and Puck. With Bertilak he is honest as he doesn’t see the need or point in Lying. It gains him nothing so he doesn’t bother with it. If he hates your Guts he’ll go on a long rant about what an awful waste of existence you are (think Kent’s awesome insult to Oswald in King Lear. Like that). In the case of Rosemary and Puck, they are Goodfellows. Fools both Natural and Artificial and as such can not lie otherwise it betrays their Natures as Fools and Gestures. They may equivocate but only if the language of the language allows for it. They may also lie through omission, but if they are speaking...something of it is true...though who can tell how much and what importance there is. Gloriana I think has the simplest reason for not lying. She basically bound the entirety of her territory to be truthful. Since her whole thing is Knights and Chivalry she holds herself an enemy of Deceit. Any Fairy or Elf who sets foot in her Kingdom is compelled to be truthful. This was double downed on when she Married Arthur. Throwing in more truth so that there wouldn’t be a repeat of the Guinevere and Lancelot situation. When Acrasia (third child and second daughter to Gloriana and Arthur) leaves her mother’s Kingdom to join the FoE in turns out she can Lie somewhat thanks to being half human and outside of Faerie and Elfphame. Titania and all her court have a compulsion to truth but still able to Equivocate. First it being a Trade off. They can play with all sorts of falseness in terms of external reality. Make a lot of something from practically nothing, with sight sound taste touch and all the other external five wits. They can play havoc with a man’s internal Five wits (Common wit, Estimation, Imagination, Fantasy, and Memory)....but they trade off is they must be tell the truth. They can do all this but I’m exchange can not out right lie. If they do, then their glamours and tricks up to that point are broken. They will have to work up again from their. As such, Titania and her Court make a game of it. A battle of words and wonders until a player breaks and lies. To lie without lying is a most expert skill. It’s all fun. With Mab. There may be a similarity with Titania in the Trade off thing...but With Mab...going on my thoughts of her court being the Farmers, Weavers, Merchants and so on...Her being truthful is not so much a Compulsion, but rather a point of pride. That the honesty of ones words reflects the honesty of one’s work( even if the result of that work can bring on all manner of Fantasy in regards to Faerie Fruit). It’s just rude to lie. That said, there is one place where Mab’s Court lies....The Theatre. Mab and her court are absolutely enamored with the Theatre. They love it and love those who do it (they often steal Actors and Playwrights for a time). Now...there’s a lot to be said in regards to Theatre, and truth, and sincerity, and the truth of things in the reality of Theatrics compared to the reality of the external reality outside of a performance...but that’s a whole other thing a can or worms...and I’ve not the time or sources to delve into at present (though it will be a thing to consider going forward with this idea for Mab). So yeah, Mab and her court are the most honest (second to the Bindings of Gloriana’s Country) and only ‘lie’ in the context of performance. That said, Mab when visiting Titania will join in the games of Glamour and Equivocation. For the Two Queens of Elphame. Diana is similar to Bertilak in that she doesn’t see the need for deceit. But people in her court can Lie if they do desire. Nicnevin totally lies. Using different Magic’s than Titania for her games with Reality. Her court being made of Dark Elves, but also Witches, and plain humans. They may lie, with no consequence..but it’s not always a matter of always lying. They just have the capacity to do so? Or something. Might work on that one? Maybe it’s just the same thing with Titania’s court. Telling the truth to Sustain their falsehoods manifested through magic. The members of the Wild Hunt are bound and compelled to act in the best interest of Alwin. If that means lying they’ll do it as easily as breathing. This excludes Bertilak and Rosemary who I’ve already mentioned and their stances on Truth and Falsehoods. So been unable to find particular reasons, but I think I’ve thought up some fairly decent reasons for it. For my purposes anyway. Make of this what you will. Al, the Chronographing Cottager and Prince of Naming

#My writing #Faerie #Faeries and Lying #Faerie and Elfphame #Queen Gloriana #Queen Titania #Queen Mab #Queen Diana #Queen Nicnevin #Alwin V Eldritch #the Erl-King #The Erlking #The Eldritch Fellows #the FoE #reasons for why Fairies can’t lie #The Fellowship of Eldritchicians #my Writing #My OCs #Make of this what you will

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wyverian-lady525 · 2 years

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I happened upon your blog a few days ago after getting back into Monster Hunter Stories 2 and FINALLY beating the game after a year, lol! If you haven’t already written one yet, may I request the boys reacting to a “heat of the moment” kiss from the rider? It could be after finally defeating an incredibly strong monster, like ones from the Elder’s Lair or even a deviant monster.

Thank you for taking the time to fulfill all these requests! I’ve enjoyed reading them so far ❤️

Aww, thank you!🥰 and congrats on beating the game!

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The Boys (Kyle, Reverto, Cheval, and Alwin) React to a “Heat of the Moment” Kiss

Kyle

-For you and Kyle, it was when you guys finally took down that fatalis together. The two of you spent so long preparing, so long training, and so long fighting through the elder’s lair to finally make it to this moment. When that great beast lay dead at your feet, you felt so overjoyed that you couldn’t stop yourself from running over to Kyle and giving him a great big hug, cheering all the way. Of course, he didn’t expect a kiss to come with it.

-”Did you just kiss me?!” Kyle would be in utter shock and flustered to boot. Of course, he was just as ecstatic as you for winning, but he never expected to have you kiss him. That said, you would just grin and kiss him again, clearly not as flustered as him about the whole situation. You were too overjoyed to even register what you were doing. People are going to be wondering why Kyle’s face is as red as a tomato, but he will keep his lips sealed about the whole thing.

Reverto

-For you and Reverto, it was when you took a finishing blow when killing a rajang. This ape had beaten you down and down before, so you were highly optimistic when it came to your chances of winning. However, with Reverto’s help, you managed to overcome the monster. He was the one who let you get the finishing blow, which made you extra happy. The hunter almost seemed thrilled to receive a kiss from you because of that.

-”Yo! All this was all it took to get a kiss from you?” The hunter would say, matching your glee. He wouldn’t get all flustered like Kyle. In fact, he would be elated, and brag about this to everyone. You were still so happy that you didn’t think much of that. Then a couple days passed, and you were all flustered whenever he brought it up. That said, you would probably due it again if another opportunity arises.

Cheval

-For you and Cheval, it was when you defeated your first deviant monster. You were always a little nervous to fight one since Lilia described one to you. Eventually, Cheval agreed to come with you to fight a silverwind nargacuga. Nervous as you were, you stayed prepared and ready to face the beast. The amount of joy you felt when you won was contagious. You thanked your friend profusely with a hug before giving the already flustered man a kiss.

-”...” However, instead of getting shocked or embarrassed, Cheval just kissed you back. He’s been wanting this for a while but didn’t want to get rejected or anything. So, he took the opportunity and kissed you back. Thankfully, you didn’t reject him. However, you were the one who got all flustered because your actions took over. You didn’t think to kiss him, but I guess your body subtly acted on what you’ve always wanted.

Alwin

-For you and Alwin, it was when you finally beat that silver rathalos together. Lilia had asked you to discard of one in Alcala, but it was a powerful foe. You knew Alwin would help you out and he lived close by, so you asked him for help. The wyverian was always ready to help you, so there were no complaints. Granted, he went out of his way to keep you safe because he’s a good man like that. In the end, when you won, you were so happy and grateful that you couldn’t stop yourself from kissing him.

-”I...Wha...Did...We...” The poor guy would be at a loss for words. Alwin would be a mix of emotions from being flustered to being happy to being shocked. At the end of it, he just wouldn’t know how to respond. That said, you were embarrassed when you realized your actions, but you liked seeing him so flustered. Giving Alwin a smile, you would give him a tight hug to express your feelings. The poor wyverian was close to passing out.

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ciarawilkinsonmedia · 7 years

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Hanna (Wright, US 2011) My thoughts and analysis.

This will be a new feature on my blog to coincide with my Film Language module. For my required film viewing from each week I will comprise a short review, a in depth analysis of a section as well as a general analysis of themes, characters or techniques I find in the film.

Film: Hanna

Director: Joe Wright

Writers: Seth Lochead, David Farr

Producer: Marty Adelstein

Director of Photography: Alwin Külcher

Editor: Paul Tothill

Brief summary: ‘A sixteen-year-old girl who was raised by her father to be the perfect assassin is dispatched on a mission across Europe, tracked by a ruthless intelligence agent and her operatives’ (Imdbcom, 2017)

Review: When watching films I tend to put them into 3 categories; films I love and instantly fall in love with, films I did not enjoy and then the space in between. Hanna falls into the later, I did enjoy this film but it is a film I am somewhat indifferent to. It doesn't stand out in a way other films do to me. The plot for most part of the film seems unclear to me, the audience lacks a lot of information where it can help build tension it left me spending the film asking a lot of questions. While some of these questions to get resolved a lot is still left unclear at the end of the film.

I really like the cinematography in this film, especially the chase sequence towards the beginning go the film as Hanna escapes the research facility. I love the lighting and the framing and how well edited it is to the music. In terms of technical aspects its easily my favourite part of the film. However I don’t actually like this sequence as part of the film, personally it felt a bit weird and jarring, also it seemed almost unrealistic and briefly took me out of the film.

Overal I did enjoy this film the story and characters were interested and the action scenes where incredibly exciting and well done. However it is a film which I doubt I will remember and doesn't stand out to me as much as other films.

In depth analysis (First 15 minutes):

These where thought and analysis I thought of when watching the film, it will contain strong spoilers for the first 15 minutes of the film.

The quick cuts of her shooting the deer make it more effective. It’s very sudden and jarring after the long panning establishing shots, representing the shock the dear felt. Also most shots till this point were wide however this short sequence closes ups or medium shots. The pace of these shots fasten rapidly with quicker camera movement and cuts. They start to slow down as the dear loses energy before collapsing.

The fight scene mirrors this same technique, longer, wider shots represent a slower, calmer pace. Then as she attacks we are met again with quicker cuts and closer shots adding a sense of urgency. I like the shot that follows after as the camera is panning up and around, moving away from Hanna you see her lying defeated next to the deer. She has now been shown in my interpretation to be weak at times. It could be foreshadowing for later.

The cabin is stark in contrast to the bright white of the snowy scenery. It’s lit more softly, the orange glow representing the fireplace. The homely atmosphere makes it appear safer.

You see a strange and uncertain dynamic between the two characters. The male is referred to as ‘papa’, meaning he is either her father or maybe a father figure in her life and he is assumed to be her caretaker. This seems weird as he attacked her and pull the heavy deer carcus. He scolds her on ‘not being ready’ when he attacked her earlier, so you can assumed he is giving her combat training. Him reading to her portrays a more typical father-daughter dynamic and works in contrast to his earlier actions.

The shots of Hanna looking through the book of fairy-tails and longly looking at the photos of the women, who can be assumed to be her mother due to some physical similarities, make her seem more child like then she has been shown. It begins to create sympathy for her.

The sequence that follows may be some hidden exposition; you see a shot of a women resembling the women in the photograph being to fade as a gun shot is heard it cuts to Hanna still holding the photos. Each shot after cuts to a close up of the photos until it cuts to Hanna shooting at deer antler. This could be a hint to the fate of the women. Either hinting at a past event or foreshadowing future. Meaning she may been killed by Hanna’s ‘Papa’ or maybe even will be killed by Hanna.

This is then followed by what seems to be a montage of Hanna reciting what seems to be fake information about her that she may need to tell someone. This implies that there is information about herself she needs to hide.

The shot of Hanna seeing the plane shows how it off she is from the modern world, it originally seems to scare her as she screams, the running in saying how it sounds beautiful like thunder shows she in unfamiliar with it. All she knows is where she lives, hunting and training.

We then get some idea of Hanna’s purpose and why she is being trained in combat completely cut off from the world. She is shown a device and if she flips the switch then it alerts someone to their location. Once it’s done there is no going back and she won’t stop till one of them is dead.

The story of Laiki could represents this, when Hanna wishes it could be read differently so she doesn’t die it could mirror her feelings and how she may wish her story would change.

The conversation where Hanna’s ‘Papa’ asks her to hunt shows the distance between them, the camera has to shift focus between them showing the distance between them.

The use of music builds up tension as goes to flick the switch with it building up then cutting when she flips it. Then there is a match cut with the audio, the beeping of the device continues as it cuts to a women bedroom but the beeping her alarm.

When Hanna’s ‘Papa’ returns you can see hints that Hanna is scared, especially as she lays her head on his lap almost for comfort.

We then find out that his name is Eric and has links to the US Government and that is hiding from them. We find out that the women in the photograph was being ‘developed’ by him. We are still unsure on how it all directly links to Hanna. The camera panning round the meeting table shows they seem to be going round in circles and can’t stay on track.

We get the instruction from Eric to Hanna as he urgently reminds her of information. When she says she will see him there he looks unsure and says nothing. Meaning he has little faith they will both survive.

General Analysis- Child like innocence.

One thing I was drawn to is how the film approaches and represents innocence and venerability through Hanna. The first shot of the film show her as ruthless and strong, it doesn't portray any innocence and makes her seem older. Yet will then switch to her reading fairy tails and asking her father to change the ending of a story so it has a happy ending. This portrays her as childlike and innocence, the hints of a fear she showed before beginning her mission resting her head on her fathers lap looking for comfort contrasts how she is portrayed in the beginning.

A interesting scene is when he is in the research facility and talking to the women pretending to be Marissa, she burst into tears and holds on to her. She is shown to be scared like a small defenceless child it is then immediately flipped on its head as she kills her and escapes not being afraid to kill anyone who gets in her way. You suddenly begin to wonder if that is all she is, and how true the childlike imagery shown earlier is. It could have been a device by the filmmakers to make this scene more shocking.

Through the film you see more of Hanna’s character, as she sees more of the world she becomes more childlike in ways. Especially her friendship with Sophie, when she first meets her and her family it something like she has never seen. As she travels with them she learns about family and friendship. We are only really reminded of her violent ruthless way when the people hunting her down track her. She leaves her friend begging her not to follow her. She ends up wounding and killing some of her attackers, the look of fear on Sophie’s face when she does follow and sees reminds the audience that this is not normal for a child her age. That Hanna isn't as innocent as she should be.

In the final act of the film you see that shift continually, she is amazed and star struck by the winder of the Grimms house. Being able to hear music and see dancing only to immediately have that taken away and her having to act. Her last conversation with Eric shows both sides of her innocence. You see her upset and angry at Eric for lying to her about her birth and his relationship to her. You see Eric trying to reason with her like a parent would do to a child who can’t understand the situation. As well as these hints to her childlike nature you see her attack him.

The last shot of the film completely mirrors the first with Hanna killing the deer. It brings us back to our first thoughts of her lack of innocence and he look at it again with the development from the film.

To me Hanna is not a clear cut character, as to mirror reality there are no lines for people to fall on either sides. In many ways she is far from innocent, brought up to be a ruthless killing machine she is far from a child. In other she is a child who still has a lot to learn about the world and will rely of others to help her learn her way around the world and fins what path to go down.

References: Imdbcom. (2017). IMDb. Retrieved 30 September, 2017, from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0993842/?ref_=ttfc_fc_tt

Hanna, 23:55 15/01/2017, Channel 4, 120 mins. https://learningonscreen.ac.uk/ondemand/index.php/prog/05A38F31 (Accessed 25 Sept 2017)

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megatontiddies · 3 years

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Alwine OC stuff 2

In order to flush out some ocs I'm gonna borrow this info sheet made by @willowiswriting!

The first one I post is gonna be Alwine but then later today, hopefully, I'm gonna introduce my second OC who will be a vital character in The Waters of March.

So anyways this is pretty long so under the cut it goes!

THE BASICS:

Name: Alwine Elenora Fries

Nick Names: Winnie (most common), Al, Allie

Age: 24 (234)

Gender identity: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Role in story: Sole Survivor

Hair color/texture: Dirty Brown, Long to Medium Shag Cut with Gentle Curls

Skin color/texture: #ccaf85, softer texture the woman was good on moisturizer and sunscreen prewar

Eye color: Green Hazel

Scars: Deeper scar that trails from left side of chin to upper right side of lip, long claw tracks from deathclaw encounter trailing from lower right torso to center/left of chest

Other notable features: Old Lines style tattoo in center of her back, Mole on right cheek

“Default” outfit: Pair of military green cargo pants and white tank top usually paired with combat boots and her old military holotags from prewar. In colder months she wears a leather bomber jacket.

EXTERNAL/OUTWARD PRESENCE:

How do they move and carry themselves? Pace, rhythm, gestures, energy?

Fairly proud. Alwines time in the military, despite being primarily a mechanic and not seeing much front line action, has trained her to walk with purpose and pride. Shoulder pinned back, high chin, legs shoulder length apart and ready to move at a moments notice. Although, she often moves her hands while she speaks and being quite quick on her feet make her appear energized and animated.

How much physical space do they use, active and at rest?

Alwine is fairly small in height, a modest 5"3, when she's resting she requires little to no space. She sleeps comfortably almost anywhere. In combat she similarly doesn't require too much room to maneuver although it's probably safest to give her space. She may be short but she's built like a rugby player. Double recommended for when she's in power armor.

How do they position themselves in a group? Do they like to be the center of attention, or do they hang back at the edges of a crowd?

Wallflower all the way. But she isn't afraid to take charge when necessary.

How does their size or build influence how they use their body, if it does?

As stated above Alwine will not hesitate to tackle you like its a game of rugby. She may be short but she is fast and built like a brick. Her small height, on the other hand, makes it easy for her to flank her enemies. It also helps for the element of surprise. More than once has she simply plowed into an overconfident raider. She has learnt to throw her weight around.

What are they like in motion -– in different environments, and in different activities? What causes the differences between these?

For most combat situations think bull in a china shop. In stealth missions, however, she is surprisingly nimble. She has a preference for long range combat but if pressed is equally confident in close combat. That 'in-between' area for long and short distance can be a weakness for her. Because of this once long-range is no longer suitable she will work quickly to close distance between herself and her foe(s). If she's in a domestic or civilian setting she is surprisingly quiet and quick. Likely due to her height she can easily slip out of a crowd if necessary. Unfortunately, Alwine is quite bumbly and clumsy. On several occasion she has bumped into someone, or something, she shouldn't have or tripped in combat.

How do they physically engage with other people, inanimate objects, and their environment? What causes the differences between these?

For human contact Alwine keeps her distance for the most part. She avoids touching/ physical contact unless she is completely comfortable with said person.

For inanimate/ environmental contact she will constantly explore through touch although not as much for wildlife.

Alwine is naturally touch sensitive and finds it easier to explore the natural world around her by touching. That being said because of this sensitivity she becomes uncomfortable making contact with other people as she finds it can be too intimate. Mostly she worries about making others uncomfortable through her own touch.

Where and when do they seem most and least at ease? Why? How can you tell?

Alwine is most at ease when she feels completely alone or in some cases alone with close friends.

She's least at ease when she senses that either herself of those she cares about are in danger. Alwine is also very uncomfortable in large groups of people as she finds it overwhelming. She is also very uncomfortable in water as she cannot swim.

It's fairly easy to tell when Alwine get's uncomfortable. She basically becomes almost completely mute save for a few choice words/ sounds. She will also position herself either beside/ behind whoever she is traveling with standing much more closely than she normally would if she were completely comfortable.

How are they vocally expressive? What kind of voice, accent, tones, inflections, volume, phrases and slang, and manner of speaking do they use?

Tonally, Alwines voice is a bit lower but still distinctly feminine think Jennifer Hale but with a very slight southern drawl. Her voice doesn't fluctuate much in pitch and can come off an monotone or flat which can be difficult to hear if one is not trained to it. To her benefit it comes in handy when dealing in precarious social situations. When necessary she can, and will, raise her voice but very rarely.

How are they bodily expressive? How do they use nonverbal cues such as their posture, stance, eyes, eyebrows, mouths, and hands?

Her posture is fairly stiff, again, military-esque. Alwines big on eye contact no matter the scenario. She's a big believer that the eyes are the windows to a persons, or creatures, soul. Her eyebrows are only really indicative of whether she is thinking or stressed in the form of a furrow. Her mouth is probably the most expressive of her facial features from smirks to snarls. Like stated above, she's very animated. If her hands stop moving while she's talking that's a very good indicator she's about to start swinging them.

INTERNAL:

What is their greatest fear?

Death. Not her own though. The deaths of those she loves and cares about terrify the daylights out of her. Close second is water.

What are some misbeliefs about the world?

That good is inherent in all people.

What is the best thing about their life?

Danse.

What is the worst thing about their life?

Her own child but she don't know that yet. Beyond this, probably the world blowing up in nuclear fire and her husband getting capped. Also giant bugs.

What do they most often look down on people for?

Lack of Honor. Alwine can even respect raiders who are capable of keeping their word but anyone who uses deceit to get what they want is abhorrent.

What makes their heart feel alive?

Action of all kinds. To be in movement or roughhousing is the peak of excitement for Alwine. Also, storms by the ocean. Alwine has a soft spot for Far-Harbor because of this. She is also in love with sunrises on the deck of the Prydwen.

What makes them feel loved, and who was the last person to make them feel that way?

Small actions that let her know she is thought about. Anything between trinkets that remind the person of Alwine to small personal actions based on what she's said in the past. (ie. sneaking extra snacks that she said she likes, books that she misses, mods that she's been looking for etc.). The last person to make her feel this way was Danse.

How do they manage their energy, exhaustion, tension, or other strong emotions?

If she's more energetic then she'll try to work it off either through workouts or hard labor that she can do around settlements or the Prydwen. Exhaustion is cured by coffee or Nuka Cola if they're available. If not available then the nearest hole to crawl in to sleep is the best cure. Alwine ignores tension hoping that more work will wear it off.

What energizes and drains them most?

Alwine finds stressful situations to be most draining (such as hostage situations or anything that could result in bystander/civilian death) as well as long periods of social interaction. Once the element of extreme danger has been removed, however, Alwine finds anything with the smallest hint of danger to be invigorating.

What kind of inner life do they have — rich and imaginative? Calculating and practical? Full of doubts and fears? Does it find any sort of outlet in their lives?

Definitely rich and imaginative. Alwine is naturally curious harboring a childlike wonder about this new world. She's practical but prefers optimism. Calculating but if she doesn't like the odds she'll pretend everything's fine. This can come off as overconfident but deep down she's screeching. Her inner turmoil are difficult to read and she's good at hiding them. Most have to pry it out of her.

Do they dream? What are those dreams like?

Alwine has always had lucid dreams. Fortunately for her they are still mostly 'dreamlike' and cryptically strange. On occasion they do take the form of realistic night terrors waking her up in a fit of action. Good or bad she remembers every dream. Prewar she used to keep a dream journal.

Are they more shaped by nature or nurture — who they are, or what has happened to them? How have these shaped who they’ve become as a person?

Nature and Nurture both affect how we develop psychologically especially during our early developmental stages. Generally, once a person develops a set concept of how the world works it can be very difficult to break that short of horrific trauma. That being said, when the bombs blew up and (almost) everyone died Alwine has surprisingly kept her moral and ethical standards. If anything she's become a bit more socially unhinged. So nurture? I think? This one was a bit too confusing for my overthinking little pea-brain.

(Potentially ignoring the plot if it wouldn’t normally play into their life,) what kind of person could they become in the future? What are some developmental paths that they could take, (best, worst, most likely?) what would cause them to come to pass, and what consequences might they have? What paths would you especially like to see, and why?

that would be spoiling ;)

Does their perception of who they are align with how other people see them? Why or why not?

Alwine see's herself as mostly just an average joe. A little awkward but trying her best. She thinks she's unassuming. When first meeting her, in a relatively safe space that the commonwealth can provide, you might think the same. But, if ever seen in combat or a life and death situation this perception is starkly contrasted. She appears almost graceful. At least up until she falls flat on her face or straight into you (or an enemy). Surprisingly light hearted/ always smiling she radiates a calm and happy energy yet is also dead serious when appropriate. She hates leading and doesn't see herself as a leader yet seems to always take charge and show exemplary coordination and tactic in the heat of combat.

Top three things they value most in life?

shaun, danse, friends, laser rifle

FUN:

What’s their favorite book, movie, and band? (Modernize them if it’s a fantasy setting)

A real fun gal at parties, Alwines favourite book was an outdated encyclopedia about dinosaurs.

Her favourite movie is The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. She loves old westerns.

Similarly she enjoys old western music. Johnny Western, Lorne Green, Marty Robbins, and Patsy Cline are just some of her many favourite singers.

Favorite color?

Juniper Green

Least favorite color?

Anything neon

Favorite food/cuisine?

Soups. Any soups and all soups from anywhere. Preference for spicy brothy soups but will not complain if its anything but.

What associations do they bring to mind? Words or phrases, images, metaphors or motifs? Why?

Rainy days. Rain on pavement and deep wood moss and dirt. Second hand cigarette smoke on a warm summer night. A warm house on a cold evening with the smell of hot supper wafting from the kitchen over a woodstove fire. Knowing eyes. Cedar bark and pine. Slivers on the hands. Drunk laughs. A dog at the foot of a bed. A firm grip. A cold rock in the hand. A hot breath on your neck. The tenderness of a bruise. Lilacs in the rain. Stiff shoulders and muscles. Bare feet in dewy grass. A heavy blanket. A warm smile.

Is there an object they can’t bear to part with and why?

Her Laser Rifle. It's quiet, strong, and deadly against almost everything in the commonwealth. She also carries an assortment of small gifts and trinkets on her person from various friends.

Describe three typical outfits for them, top to bottom.

1. Casual Gear: Black or White tank top, Green military grade cargo pants, Leather combat boots, and military heavy plate armor on top.

2. BOS Gear: BOS Jumpsuit (usually the top is zipped down and tied at the waist when in a 'safe' area or on the Prydwen), White or Black tank top, Leather combat boots, BOS grade heavy plate armor on top, BOS dogtags.

3. Casual wear (only when in 'safe' areas such as sanctuary or diamond city): Plaid overshirt, white tank top, heavy blue jeans, belt, leather combat boots.

What names or nicknames have they been called throughout their life?

Al or Winnie. In practice, Winnie is more commonly used than her own name.

Describe their daily routine.

Wake up early (around 4-6 am), eat breakfast, check over armor and weapons, do daily tasks/missions, eat dinner, modify/repair armor and weapons, go to bed (around 9pm-12am)

Their go-to cure for a bad day?

A quiet night in. Either relaxing in the arms of another or sleeping off her misery. If it's particularly aggravating she'll need some kind of physical activity to work out her anger.

#Alwine #Worldbuilding #Character development #this took way too long #10$ says that even when I start writing I'll still forget how I set my charters out to act

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