#so funny that you never fight a person in treasures

[goblinroleplay]

hes so babygirl i need to woobify him NEEOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!

[erose-this-name]

Kabru is such a brilliantly written character, one of the best in Dungeon Meshi (which is a high bar as it is, most of the main cast are similarly genius). 

His thing is that he is very friendly and nice confident and maxed out his charisma stat, but is also kinda ambitious and manipulative. But not in an overtly malicious way. Which kinda scares me.

The most impressive thing about him, writing wise, is that it’s all show-don’t-tell. He very frequently uses his charm and empathy and understanding of how people think in really clever ways. We’re often walked through his thought process of how he does these social deductions. We’re never told he’s scarily charismatic, besides other characters reacting to him being scarily charismatic.

Kabru is a natural-born leader and social engineer with superlative skills in both, which makes him the perfect foil for Laios, who’s too autistic and unambitious that he’s not even the de facto leader of his own party that he’s the official leader of. He’s so bad at leadership that his party just, sort of, doesn’t have a leader. They just kinda argue and do stuff.

What’s also neat, and perfectly inline with Meshi’s general theme of clever and logical subversions of fantasy tropes, is that Kabru’s character design in no way clues us in on this fundamental character trait of his.

He’s sort of a human fighter / knight archetype, which in the language of fantasy RPGs is a class most would associate with being a white bread jock, chivalrousness optional. (Laios subverts the same trope in the same way. It’s really funny that the walking exposition dump of the group looks like the character creator default preset spec’d as the most generic class available.)

If Kabru was a bard or noble and Laios a wizard, their character traits would be far less interesting

Even better is that we would expect someone who looks like Laios to have Kabru’s personality, and vice versa. Their character designs are flipped; the confident super charismatic leader is a short wide-eyed twink, while the slightly naive and very autistic monster enthusiast is a tall conventionally attractive Aryan lookin’ mf. (see what I mean by Kabru being such a good foil for Laios?? No wonder everyone ships them, they’re perfect for each other!)

Yet, their designs also work for them. Kabru just has a face that’s easy to talk to, his piercing blue eyes and curly hair gives him a false sense of naïveté, while his iconic 👁️👁️ expression hints that there’s actually quite a bit going on inside his head. Meanwhile, Laios believably looks like someone who doesn’t know what hair conditioner is. His armor’s collar gorget thing is also pretty dorky.

You can’t trust people like that (I mean overly charismatic people with a manipulative streak, not blue-eyed twinks) because you can’t know what their real motives are. You can’t know they aren’t pretending, you can’t know they aren’t trying to or haven’t already manipulated you. How could you? When he has so much more social intelligence than you do, average socially awkward Tumblr user? He’s touched all the grass!

In episode 16 (spoilers, btw) Kabru finally meets Laios’s party, who he’s been trying to find and fight for the better part of the season, and he just decides that no confrontation is necessary. Like, immediately upon meeting the guy. Just from how Laios looked at him. He figures that since Laios didn’t seem to recognize him, they either have never met meaning he has the wrong guy, or Laios forgot meaning he didn’t think it’d be a big deal, meaning the treasure was a trap or something. Which is pretty in line with Kabru’s established ability to always roll nat 20s for every charisma and deductive reasoning check, so cool.

But he doesn’t even seem curious about which of those cases is true. (He might be interested to find out some of the treasure wasn’t dangerous, but accidentally got thrown off a bridge). Much to Rin’s dismay, he’d rather just not bring it up because that could upset the leader of the party he might be working with for the foreseeable future.

Actions speak louder than words. So, all we really learn in this scene is that Kabru’s goals and M.O. can change on a dime, and that he values reputation and political capital more than money and vengeance. More than his own party’s desire for those things. Not only is he someone with a silver tongue, but he knows its value and is determined to use it at every opportunity.

Kabru and his party might not be very good at fighting or surviving in the dungeon, in fact their frequent TPKs are a running gag. But, he also doesn’t need to be when he can just manipulate Laios’ and Shuro’s much more proficient parties into helping him.

So far, Kabru seems like the most likely one to become king of the dungeon or whatever the mcguffin is. He is the only protagonist so far who has said that’s an actual goal of his. He’s said that he doesn’t think someone like Laios who isn’t a born leader should get it.

In fact, Kabru seems to have very strong opinions on what kinds of people should be allowed to adventure in the dungeon, evidenced by the fact that he murdered an entire party over it, justified or not. Kabru seems to think that Kabru is such a leader, and he’s probably right about that, but what kind of leader? 

What would Kabru do with that kind of power if he gets it? Because I’m not sure. All I know is that he is the kind of person with the ability to use real political power to its full potential. For good, or for very, very bad.

I’m not saying that Kabru is evil or that he’s secretly gonna be the surprise villain. I dunno, I haven’t read the manga. He could just be a nice guy that’s just, like, is like that. Everything he’s done could be justified by the explanations he’s given. He actually reminds me a lot of one of my IRL friends, and I’d trust him with my life.

But, I can’t help but feel a distinct sense of unease whenever he’s on-screen. I try not to trust confident natural-born leaders like him right out of the gate. I don’t like that our instinct as humans is to blindly follow them without thinking about it.

Tyrants and psychopaths also use confidence and charm and a friendly demeanor to make people think they’re a good guy, while manipulating everyone into thinking their self-serving actions are altruistic. Benevolent, confident, skilled leaders do exist. But there exists many more snakes wearing their skin. Wolves rarely bother with sheep’s clothing, they dress as shepherds and sheepdogs.

Anyway, my point is that I think it’s kinda neat that it’s possible to overthink this much about a character whose probably just a nice guy that is the mirror opposite of an autistic person. Writing that kind of ambiguity is hard, and employing it in this way is inspired.

[raparopa]

a/n: i love house of the dragon that's all

warnings: fem!reader, some femslash

when someone at the tournament asks for a sign of attention from their sweetheart

daemon targaryen

Daemon thinks this is funny. What a fearless, and it seems, immortal knight. Of course, he knows that his lover is beautiful, and he also knows that men pay attention to her. When a knight in a tournament asks his beloved for a sign of attention, Daemon ostentatiously, so that everyone can see, holds out his S/O wreath, which he himself chose in front of everyone, nodding with a smirk at the knight, who already regretted his decision.

- Come on, accept a gift from my wife, youngster. Isn't that what you wanted? -For the rest of the tournament, he will taunt in the ear of his woman, pointing to the impudent little knight, who had his head blown off after two races. 💕

criston cole

Criston immediately gets angry. All he will feel is irritation and terrible anger. He can't do anything - he's just a White Cape who can't even throw something offensive at a bastard who dares to covet his beautiful lady. But his anger will subside a little when he sees his beautiful woman in a flowing dress, with flowing hair and ribbons, with a beautiful wreath in her hands - he just cannot help but smile, looking at his goddess. But the knight who asked for her courtesy is first on Criston Cole's list. Let him get ready.

aemond targaryen

He didn't understand at all at first. Tournaments are generally the last thing Aemond cares about, he only came for his S/O. And when some man in armor asks his lover to give him a token, Aemond just:🤨

He looks at his happy, embarrassed companion, then at the impudent one, and silently clenches his fists, waiting for this ridiculous trick on the part of the knight to end. It's not like he's angry... He's ten times more tense, because usually she only smiles like that for him; and when his lady returns to him, he will be silent and look ahead of him for a long time. (slightly regretting not participating in the tournament, you get the idea)

aegon targaryen

In the morning a knight fights with a wreath from his wife on a spear; in the evening his head rolls in the mud. It's all.

alicent hightower

She is calm enough, because she knows that this is just a tradition. When she sees that her S/O has been chosen to give her a token of attention, she will smile gently at her, nod her head, and I think she will be proud that she has got such a beautiful treasure for a long time. When her lady returns to her, they will imperceptibly join their fingers, continuing to smile and giggle at each other, completely forgetting about the tournament.

lucerys velaryon

Luke is the biggest kitten in the world. PERIODT. 😼

I think he really likes tournaments (he likes to have fun and family evenings in general). He likes to place bets (in secret) on knights, whistle and clap loudly. But he never paid attention to the wreath moment until he had his S/O. When a man asks her to give him a token, Luke is surprised. He will ask her a lot of questions.

- Did he like you? Why did you choose this particular wreath? Does he think you are beautiful? And you him? What if I asked for a wreath?

-Luke, if you want me to give you a wreath, I'll give you a hundred of them, please don't take it personally.

After such a promise, he will sit with a proud smile and your hand in his palm.

jacaerys velaryon

He is surprised. He doesn't even want to let go of his S/O's hand at first, opening his mouth to say something. He sits with his mouth open and large, round eyes all the time, while his beloved, to the general applause, gives the knight her sign of attention. He glances at the man, clenching and unclenching his fingers. When his lady returns to him, he will simply continue to stare at her questioningly, making her laugh.

-Y/N!

- Do you want flowers in your hair too, honey?

rhaenyra targaryen

If the word "pride" was a person, it would be Rhaenyra. She proudly raises her chin, grins at the knight, as if showing with whom this wonderful S/O is here today, and the rest of the time in general, too. She has a beautiful companion, in silks and gold, who makes these unworthy ones drool over her. She perfectly remembers such moments in her life, and understands how such a request elevates you above other women who did not receive this.

[13knowge]

Hi. For a long time i thought this was pretty weird (?) but after doing more research i found out that many people shared it and it made me pretty happy, i found a part on the internet pretty funny and i want to have fun too.

I'm not very good at English but i tried my best getting a little help.

So, these are my favorite OP characters and some headcanons i have of them of how they are when they are in love or in a relationship.

CW: SFW / KINK

Kaido

Kaido in love can get pretty scary, he knows he's scary and uses it to make fun of you. He also invades your personal space.

When he is drunk he seeks physical contact, sometimes he doesn't measure his strength and you get to feel a bit of discomfort to his grip.

He doesn't care if his subordinates are present or not when he shows his affection towards you, he likes to show you off.

His way of flirting is to take you on his ship to accompany him to eliminate his enemies, he wants to show you how strong he is and the respect his crew has for him.

In intimacy he likes to use intimidation and point out how small you are and that he could tear you apart if he wanted to.

Rob Lucci

He definitely chases you everywhere, no matter where you go, he will follow your footsteps wherever you decide to go. You will never be out of his vision. It's not that he distrusts you, he trusts you wholeheartedly, it's just that his favorite activity is to always be with you even though he recognizes that you need your "space".

He spies and reports on every person who approaches you to know if they are to be trusted. Regardless of your opinion, that is up to him to decide.

It will be better for everyone's sake that no one dares to even draw a tear from you or else he will commit the most violent and bloody murder. Eventually you will realize that this person has disappeared.

He doesn't show you affection in front of others, for him that's too private, but he also doesn't bother if it's you who shows some kind of affection, in that case, he doesn't ignore you.

When it's just the two of you alone, he never lets go, he's a cat that climbs on top of you to lick your neck.

During sex he has absolute control over your body, he knows perfectly where to touch you and how to make you go crazy. He uses his hybrid form to leave marks like scratches and some bites.

On special occasions he likes to be treated as a pet and to wear a collar to dominate him and follow your orders.

Shanks

He is very attentive and dedicated, he treats you with great delicacy and gentleness. Very gentlemanly.

He will always give you the best of the best, you will never be disappointed. He looks for the best treasures to be your property.

He will make you laugh many times, he is a very funny man, especially when he is drunk.

All the time he is talking about you. Even when he fights with his enemies, before finishing them he presumes that he has to leave quickly because he has to kiss someone.

He recognizes your strength and independence but is secretly terrified of something bad happening to you.

In a drunken state is when he is most sexually active and becomes a complete stranger, he is very wild. He has a fetish for smells and is very aroused by the contact when both are sweaty. In the midst of this activity he likes to talk dirty.

Sir Crocodile

It must be a miracle when he says something nice about you. He is not very affectionate, it is very difficult for him, sometimes it seems that he is not even interested in you.

He is a man of very few words, he has peculiar ways of letting you know he loves you and makes sure they are unique and special.

He does not like you to get involved in his work. He will keep the relationship very private and would expect you to do the same.

He is very jealous, as soon as someone wants to flirt with you, Crocodile squeezes your waist with his hook.

He doesn't like to murder people when you are present, he thinks it's something you shouldn't witness.

Although he thinks Buggy is an idiot, he is one of the few people next to Mihawk that he feels safe for you to be with.

When it comes to sex he is rough and gentle at the same time. He makes sure you feel comfortable. After that he feels more open to express his feelings and tell you how much he loves you.

I had a lot of fun writing this hahahahaha, hope you like it <3

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

Zhongli - With Gojo-like Archon Reader

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

You guys are killing with this spacing your asks thing, just make a paragraph, please! T^T

Anywho! Be forewarned! I believe that the character of Gojo Satoru is heavily intertwined with his physical appearance, so the readers will have his eyes and probably also his hair, but hair color is never mentioned. —Benny🐰

                                                                                                   

☄•♡•☄•♡•☄•♡•☄•♡•☄•♡•☄•♡•☄•♡•☄

🍵 Words cannot describe how he felt when you gave him a look of pity and disappointment after learning he made a deal with the Tsarista and gave up his Gnosis. Like, how can such a childish person give him such an ego crushing look? Ouch.

🍵 Zhongli found your carefree and childish personality to be, frankly, a nuisance. While yes, you help him wind down when he's thinking of his heartbreaking past; he doesn't need a Hu Tao at his residence too.

🍵 To say that this man was shocked upon witnessing your complete 180° shift in personality while you fight would be a lie. He was absolutely shocked, awed, flabbergasted and bamboozled... and a little turned on. You were so serious and held such authority and conviction in your voice that he couldn't help but swoon. (Subtly, of course)

🍵 Though, Zhongli did notice how cruel you can be with your opponents and he kind of wishes you would tone it down a bit. It reminds him of his losses during the archon war and he doesn't want to associate you with any painful memories because he treasures you so much.

🍵 Your confidence in your abilities and status translates to him as haughtiness at first. But upon witnessing you fight first hand and thinking about your reputation as an archon, he understands.

🍵 There has been many an occasion where you show up late to a scheduled meeting between the two of you because you were off buying sweets. Consider Zhongli annoyed. But you made up for it by treating him to some Bamboo Shoot Soup and a promise to let him tell you as many stories as he wants.

🍵 You once playfully teased (harrassed) Barbatos about how weak he'd become from being absent from his people; you also stole his wine, what a great day that was. It seems you enjoyed gloating to Barbatos and himself about your accomplishments as well.

🍵 Zhongli noticed right away that whenever you both were out and about, if he so much as glances at something, it's in a take away bag before he can even blink. It's to the point where he can't even forget his mora because you hid it from him just so he can't try and pay. He appreciates your generosity but let him pay you back, please.

🍵 There has been many times that he's had to drag you away from the Liyue citizens. You just can't help yourself, can you? He hopes to steer you away from that behavior by giving you his best disappointed stare. It never works...

🍵 Your constant need to fight people is giving Zhongli grey hairs! Why do you want to fight Beelzebul? He doesn't understand! And isn't this La Signora woman dead? That's what Childe told him, at least. How about the two of you just sit down and enjoy some tea together instead?

🍵 Why must you speak such romantic words to him in such a risqué manner all the time? Thank you, he's glad you think he's very attractive, but must you wisper it in his ears all sultry like. You're both in public, please don't feel him up so carelessly, it's embarrassing. Stop looking at him like that with those pretty blue eyes. He'll still let you do it though, so long as you don't do too much in public.

🍵 Zhongli finds it a bit funny how you look to him for praise whenever you do something 'cool' or complete a mundane task. He thought you were joking at first until you whined about him being cold hearted and cruel. So now, he usually gives you a kiss on the forehead and then the lips while saying he's proud of you.

🍵 He unfortunately found that you and that irritating, wine reeking bard are friends... great. How did he find out, you ask? He stumbled upon a very drunk you clinging onto Barbatos and murmuring about how "my boyfriend is so cruel because he won't tell me where mora comes from". Let's just say he gave you the first of many future biggyback rides that day.

🍵 You're like Hu Tao, Childe and Venti all smooshed into one person and it's killing him. But he loves you, so he'll put up with that bratty attitude of yours for the time being, but trust, he'll sort that out soon.

🍵 Speaking of Hu Tao and Childe, it's Zhongli 's top priority to keep the three of you from meeting each other. If you three meet, he'll never have restful sleep again and he knows it. Please give him a break and stop asking him to go to the funeral parlor and Northland Bank, he doesn't know how long he can handle it anymore.

🍵 Sometimes, when you're being too energetic for his liking, he'll sling you over his shoulder and bring you to his bedroom. Then he'll trap you in his arms and lay your head on his chest and just lay there and cuddle with you while you play with his hair. Looping it around your fingers, braiding it, combing through it with your fingers; he finds it very relaxing.

☄•♡•☄•♡•☄•♡•☄•♡•☄•♡•☄•♡•☄•♡•☄

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[sefinaa]

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞, 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮.❞

Your future lover message to you.

YouTube | Masterlist

Tips | Paid Readings

Not a tarot card reading, only based on my intuition.

18+ readings | Divider

Pile 1:

My patience for you

my dearest, please take care of your needs and heal your inner child. I cannot see you go forth without you caring for yourself.. please, if you cannot for yourself, at least for me.. take care of yourself.. because I love you too dearly for you to waste your time doing nothing that shall help you in the near future.. and I cannot let you do that; I want to see you—I want to kiss you and whisper sweet nothing into your ears after we make love.. I want to see you smile every time I say something silly, in reality those stories are real, but I make it stupid just to see you smile.. so please for me and to see each other quicker, please take care of yourself.

I shall be waiting for you,

Your prince charming –

Pile 2:

Proud of you baby

HI I HOPE YOURE DOING ALRIGHT, IMAGINE ME YELLING IN EXCITEMENT, HEHE.

SOOO YOU GOT A PROMOTION, THAT’S AWESOME! CONGRATS BABE, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU AND I HOPE YOU WORK HARDER TO ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS AND KICK ASS OF THOSE SEXIST MEN IN THE STEM MAJOR. ALSO ILL KICK THEIR ASS TOO.

UMM, I THINK MY MESSAGE TO YOU IS TO MAKE SURE YOU EAT PROPERLY BECAUSE I KNOW YOU STAY UP ALL NIGHT, PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER TO GET YOUR ASSIGNMENTS DONE BUT FOOD IS ESSENTIAL AND HYDRATION. SO YEAH GET THAT FIXED SO MAYBE YOU CAN—DURING YOUR BREAKS EAT SOMETHING PLEASE AND PLEASE SLEEP BETTER FOR ME.

THANKS SO MUCH AND ILYVM XOXOXOOXXOOXXOOXOXOXOXOX

Pile 3:

I won’t give up on you

I can see you changing your life and I see that you met someone you don’t trust.. and that’s okay, I know you struggle with trust issues, but please know—that’s me. Its okay not to trust me now, and please don’t until you feel comfortable enough to open yourself up to me. I know youre an introverted person and that’s okay. Ill be the boat you will sail on and find that treasure on your map. I will be your rock when you play .. rock, paper, scissors.. ill be your armor when youre sobbing and ill be the one saving you when you start drowning in your trust issues once more.. and I’ll fight for you when you try to push me away again.

So go ahead and try but you cannot get rid of me because we are meant to be and that’s final.

Pile 4:

You’re the reason why I became so romantic

When the moon shines onto the river, we see a beautiful reflection shining, letting the people see the beauty and that is what I see within you, my love.. youre one dashing love and I cannot get enough of you especially during love making, but this isn’t a love letter I suppose.. this is my message to you and you shall receive it after I say what I love about you.

Youre one beautiful lover, the way you smile at me as I write and do my homework, waiting for me to be finished so we can cuddle and watch your favorite, us both laughing as it gets to the funny scene and then both saying we wont watch that same Disney movie once more, but we do. An endless loop of laughter.

From those to when we take a shower together but there is never any thoughts of doing the deed, only thinking of making sure the other is okay and properly cleaned, your innocence is the most beautiful as this world is truly a mess, but I shall never ever take advantage of your pureness as it floats my heart anew when I think of you and wishing I could give you flowers for all of eternity.. that is the love we shall cherished as this is what our love shall be.

So my message to you my dearest is, please keep being the most beautiful that you are and keep your pureness as it is the most beautiful of them all. As you are the most tantalizing flower one can pick and cherish, let it grow and feed it with water and sunlight as you watch it grow into the magic you wished you had seen the first time you lay your eyes on.. and that is you. you are my flowers and you are the magic within that I truly didn’t know I deserved or needed, so thank you my dearest and thank you for accepting me for who I am.

- Your dearest.

[autisticwriterblog]

Izzy, Ed and abuse

okay, so I’ve seen a few people talking about Izzy and Ed, and it genuinely disturbs me that I’ve seen people deny that Izzy is a victim of abuse. By most definitions, physical abuse is categorised as causing physical harm to another person’s body with intent to hurt them. Some things, like punching Izzy for selling Stede out, or choking him for saying hateful stuff when Ed was at his lowest, whilst not acceptable in the real world, are perfectly normal reactions for a pirate to have toward a member of his crew, so I’m not talking about things like that.

But the toe scene and the early parts of season 2 are clearly abusive, and only by sheer character bias (framing Ed as someone who could never do anything wrong) can you look at the way Ed treats Izzy and not consider Izzy a victim. Izzy and Ed have had a mutually toxic relationship for a long time, judging by their interactions, but I personally only see abusive behaviour starting with the toe scene. And the abusive one is Ed. Which shouldn’t be a controversial thing to say, considering what we see on screen, and yet…

Even at the end of season one, we saw Ed cut Izzy’s toe off and force him to eat it, and it is confirmed in season 2 that he took two more toes. He is even about to take a fourth toe when Izzy reports that the crew refused to throw their treasure overboard, and Izzy doesn’t argue, much unlike in season 1, when he often bitched at Ed for his decisions. Now, Izzy just takes the punishment.

Things between them come to a head when Ed shoots Izzy in the leg, leading to infection, and the amputation of his leg. He even puts a gun in Izzy’s hand, directly leading to Izzy’s suicide attempt. And in the end, all Izzy gets is a mumbled apology and that's that.

I know many people don’t like Izzy, but do they not sympathise with him? I’ll be first to admit that I don’t like Ed and Stede (I used to, but season 2 made me dislike them more and more for reasons too complicated to go into now), but I feel bad for them when bad things happen to them. I got bullied as a child, so I sympathise with Stede in the flashbacks to his childhood, and I was horrified when I learned what Ed's father was like. I don't particularly like either of them, but I feel bad for them when they're suffering. Which is why I found it so strange and appalling that people who dislike Izzy seemed to find it funny when Izzy was crawling along the floor, or died a painful death.

Even ignoring Ed's treatment of Izzy, the way he treats the crew is abusive too. He overworks them, pushing them into three months of consecutive raids (assuming they did one raid a day), leaving them all so stressed that Fang seems to always be crying. He forces Jim and Archie to fight to the death for no reason other than he said so. He expects Frenchie to kill Izzy, and it is clear how terrified Frenchie is the entire time he lies to Ed. The whole crew walk on eggshells around Ed because they don't know when he'll explode again. Basically, even if Izzy isn't being mentioned (and he should for the record, because he got the worst treatment - and he didn't deserve it, despite that some people seem to think being mutilated is a fair punishment for yelling at Ed), Ed was still abusive towards the crew. During that time period, Ed is incredibly unstable. He wants the world to burn and doesn't care who gets hurt along with him. Which is why the crew still show signs of trauma after Stede returns. Because they are traumatised by Ed's behaviour.

I know that Ed is a victim of abuse, and I have seen people bring this up when his abusive behaviour is mentioned. The thing is, it's perfectly possible for a victim to become an abuser themself, because they're a human being and are capable of doing bad things. Yes, survivors don't have to become abusive (see: my mum, who was smacked as a child but never raised a hand to her own children, because she didn't turn out like her parents), but it can happen. And that is what happened with Ed. There is even a direct parallel between Ed's dad throwing a plate against the wall, scaring Ed's mother, and the scene where Ed throws a chair against the wall, making Stede visibly flinched. If you want someone to be annoyed with about this comparison, don't pick the fans who are just noticing something in canon - blame the show for writing Ed doing the same thing his abusive father did.

In conclusion, Izzy fans aren't just making things up. We're pointing out things that canon showed onscreen and how Ed's behaviour toward Izzy is abusive. I wanted to like Ed this season, but the way the show wrote him made it impossible for me to tolerate him, because he treated everyone badly and they were expected to just move on. I understand that Ed is a romantic lead, but perhaps it wasn't a good idea to make your romantic lead act so abusive toward his subordinates and then never show any real consequences of that.

[sanjisblackasswife]

Heyyy! I’m currently experiencing some Luffy brain rot at the moment. Could I make a request for Luffy getting turned on by reader wearing his hat? Or calling him captain? 👅

A/N: Thank yew! I kept it kinda pg-13 since you didn’t specify if you wanted this completely NSFW or not and this idea could go either way lmao) Enjoy!🤍

“Luffy’s Hat” (NSFW-ISH)

Black Fem Reader in Mind

Luffy’s hat is his staple, It’s his personal treasure. Luffy’s hat is a physical promise he made to his mentor Shanks and he will risk his life in order to keep it safe.

Not many people have worn the hat under Luffy’s approval, but having him trust someone with it is honor in itself and today Luffy placed his hat on your head as he carried your tired body to the ship after fighting a few enemies. It was his fault of course and you both handled it well but unfortunately you fell in battle and got stuck in turn Luffy saved you.

He brought you to Chopper’s room and he let you just rest for a moment. Luffy let you still wear the hat as he went to the kitchen to eat and that’s when he heard your voice out the door.

“Oh hey! Thank you for saving my ass back there I should have been watching where I was going—-“

Luffy Never really was the type to listen completely to what anybody was saying but in this moment he most definitely was not listening to a word coming out of your mouth.

You had on his hat still and it looked gorgeous on your hair, it was even tilted a little to the side partially covering one eye. His hat shaped your face and hair so well how come he didn’t notice this before?

You looked hot.

“Also here you go! I made sure to keep your hat safe when you left.” You happily took off the hat fixing your curls making sure your natural hair shape was still in tact.

Luffy had a twinkle in his eye taking back his hat, he swallowed the lump in his throat and laughed, “Thank you Y/N!…the hat fits you a lot!”

“Why thank you, Captain.”

He blinked watching you walk out the kitchen, the cheer in your voice lingered in his ear. You never called him that, but it sounded so good rolling off your tongue. Not to mention you wearing his hat so beautifully. He gripped his pants for a second because he felt a little funny down there throwing him off a bit.

No. No he shouldn’t be attracted to that he knows better

But does he though?

-

“Hey, Luffy!” You greeted him without eye contact because you were too engaged in your book to look up but you felt his presence beside you anyways. “Need something?”

He just smiles at you warmly and takes off his hat to put back on your head, the sudden weight on your head made you look up at him with a confused expression.

“I—-“

“Can you hold on to that for me real quick?”

“Yeah sure.” You adjusted the hat back to your liking, slightly tiled just the way Luffy likes as well, however his subtle lick of his lip didn’t go unnoticed by you. “I look okay?”

“Yeah, you look cool. …Alright bye!”

You huffed through your nose at your silly captain watching him wave off to you. You started to get a bit sleepy and his hat was giving you a perfect amount of shade so you laid back on the reclined chair and tried to doze off .

Luffy couldn’t even focus on fishing on the head of the Sunny without looking down at your barely covered body. Something about how you wore his hat made his eyes not want to tear away from you. Your body looked so beautiful under the sun with HIS hat giving your beautiful face some shade. All that was seen was your supple glossy lips shining brightly under.

You felt a sudden weight on top of your pelvis, you opened your eyes now seeing Luffy hovering over you shading your entire upper body, he lids were low, and he had a very sly smirk on his face, he doesn’t do it often, but he looked kinda cute when he did.

“You need your hat back, Captain?”

That damn voice of yours saying “Captain”. He felt his pants feel funny again.

You started to reach up but he grabbed your wrist guiding your hand on his crotch, your eyes opened wide feeling the outline of his cock pressed against the fabric. “Lu—?”

“No…I’m your captain…. call me that.”

His voice was low and raspy, it didn’t help how close he started to lower himself on you either making you gulp. His eyes were dark and his mouth was slightly parted with his cheeks tinted red. You and Luffy never had a full on sexual relationship, you’d joke about sex to him and even kissed him a few times, but how he’s acting now is completely out of the norm as if he DID want to have sex.

And you kind of like it.

“Captain…how about we go to my room instead..if…you want me to help you with that.” You applied slight pressure gripping what your could of his shaft and he groaned silently before laughing and nodding.

“Yeah, we can! You have to keep the hat on though!”

You nodded, “Anything for you, Captain.”

You heard him curse under his breath while snatching you to sprint to your room. You always wondered what could make Luffy turned on. He seen plenty of tits, naked women, etc but who would have thought a simple title and his own hat on your head would do the trick to make him so turned on.

It felt good to know that.

[are-you-still-writing-that]

Yandere Alphabet: Chrollo Lucilfer

That man was one of the first villains I ever truly found interesting, just because he himself doesn´t know who he is. That was such a funny thing to me. Like, considering everything he has done, and he doesn´t know the reason for it? I´m so glad, that the Phantom Troupe will be returning in the latest Manga Arc, though I know they won´t make it out of there alive. I always enjoyed seeing them, after they were first introduced to us. So, I simply had to do something for their boss.

Chrollo Lucilfer

He is the head of the spider, the leader of the Phantom Troupe. A man who is a phantom himself. A man who laid his entire self into a group of people. Who holds onto anything that live has for him with a tight grip. Who is so afraid to let go, because then he knows, those things would be lost forever to him. He is taunting, and when he has the chance to be smug he will be as well. He has problems to see you like a person, but oh dear he still loves his treasures so very much.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

There are two very clear ways in which Chrollo will show his affection to you. One of them is loud and acted and the other one is far more quiet and honest. He will shower you in some of the jewellery he stole or anything else that either caught your eye or his. He plays it up for an imaginary audience. The other, more true to him, way to show affection is far more quiet. Sometimes he will read out a poem that reminded him of you, otherwise he will simply seek out your company. Otherwise he makes it clear, that he listens to you every once in a while.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He doesn´t mind killing, because over the years he simply got used to it. It´s nothing special for him, just another thing, that needs to be done. Though he still tends to be quick about it. There is no need for him to spend more time on something insignificant as that as needed. It´s hard to piss him off enough to make it messy and even then he is more likely to just be clean while murdering someone brutally. In the end, he is more likely to play mind games.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

In the first few moments, maybe even days, he would ignore you. He doesn´t do this out of malice, but out of a misguided sense of care and, well let´s call it empathy. He knows, that this is a lot for you, and so he thinks the lack of interaction will help you settle better. Though, there isn´t really any kidnapping happening because he will move into your own space and keep you there with him. He gets a bit petty, when you insult him and tends to give back as good as he gets.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He is a charmer, a born manipulator. Chrollo gives you the illusion of choice over and over again without you even noticing, that it isn´t really choice you can make. He manipulates the situation your in very carefully, as he doesn´t want you to notice this either. He tailors every situation, so that it will fit to his desires, so that his will will prevail.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He doesn´t make himself vulnerable with you. He doesn´t want to be like that with you either. He barely knows himself, so how could he even show you the parts he doesn´t show anyone else either. He doesn´t know. He bases his personality on the people around him. He becomes whatever is needed for the people he holds close to his heart. So, if he had to be honest, he is quite happy never baring his heart and soul to you either. Maybe he doesn´t even have one.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He very quickly grows annoyed with you but still tries to hold back and treat this like a fun game. Though, he will lose his patience with you at some point and show you what he is capable of. He regrets it almost immediately and apologizes to you. Without a moment´s notice the mask of the charming and kind man is firmly back in place.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Though he sometimes thinks that your attempts are kind of funny, he still would like it better if you would stop doing it. He looks at you in those moments, as one would, watching a beloved pet do something stupid over and over again. He knows that there is no real chance that you will be getting away from him. So he thinks of it as being hilarious, but would prefer you settle down with him.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

He can change his personality at the drop of a head. Chrollo is very good at acting. The moment you realize that, a shiver will run down your spine and a chill will settle in your bones, that will never leave again. He makes it clear, that the way he appears to you is decided on a whim of his. There is also the lurking disregard of human life, his or others, that also carries over into his every action, that tends to freak you out.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He can´t imagine any kind of future with you. He carries the beat of death in his heart. And he is satisfied with whatever he already got with you. He reached out to you with open hands, and he managed to catch you as well. At the moment he is content.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

He is confident in himself, when it comes to you interacting with other people. He knows, that he is able to twist himself into a personality that is everything you could ever want from him. And he also knows, that he is the only one that can do this to such an extent. So he doesn´t really get jealous, though he still wants to be the centre of your attention, and will do what he can to keep that position.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Chrollo will be as gentle as he can with you. He likes to adore you. Most of the time he tries to act overly sophisticated, while he generally isn´t. Reading you poetry, comparing you to some of his favourite figures in literature, and quoting you some of his favourite lines as well. He acts almost sweet with you

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He is a picture perfect gentleman around you. Polite, careful and attentive. He intrudes into your spaces without really crossing any lines at the same time. The meetings seem coincidental. At least at first. They occur to often to be chance. But because he depicts himself as non-threatening you will let it slide. This is how he gets close. Involving you in several conversations just so, that he can learn more about you.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Considering, that he has a habit of basing his entire personality on other people, there is always a mask in place, that he can never get rid off. He feels empty inside. He is the amalgamation of what all the people he ever loved needed from him. And so he becomes what you need from him as well. But over time more and more of his other personality traits will slip in as well.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

He goes all quiet when he is angry. It´s a slow anger, that he keeps a tight leash on. It´s something, that is vicious and barely noticeable at the same time. It hardens his face and wipes every emotion out of his face. It makes him cold and cruel. It makes him creative.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

When he moves in with you, no matter what you have to say about it, he also takes control over your life. Well not completely. Only when he is around. He still travels a lot, as he did before. Always on the move. It´s rare, that he demands that you will come with him. He likes it better when you are safe at home, where nothing can really happen to you. When he returns to you though, he craves to be the centre of your attention. He wants you around, and to interact with him. You won´t have single moment truly to yourself, when he is near by.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Chrollo likes to display himself as a patient man. He isn´t really, but because he holds on tightly to this image it makes him quite patient anyway. No one needs to know, that he is clenching his jaw and his body tensing with annoyance. With you, he tries even harder to patient and charming and most of the time he is even quite successful.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

He will mourn the loss of you. It feels to him, as if he lost another piece of himself with you. He has laid loving you, adoring you, as an important foundation of his personality. You were something, someone, that he based his personality around again. You were as important to him, as his spider is. And now he lost you. His grief overwhelms him and he doesn´t know what to do. So he throws himself back into being the head of the spider.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

He can never regret reaching his hands out for something, that he wants. He knows, that he needs to take what he wants, because the world will never offer it to him for free. There is nothing there that he should regret. He sometimes feels almost melancholic though, when he realizes that you aren´t as carefree as before, that he made you change. That he is the cause behind this change.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

He grew up with nothing. Life taught him over and over again that if he wants to have something that he will need to take it. It taught him that if he wants to keep something he will have to fight for it. Over and over again these lessons were drilled into his skull. Over the years he would find peace in his eventual death, because he laid his life into the hands of his spider. It´s strange for him to feel so strongly again.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

It disappoints him to see how you loose your composure that quickly. In the end though he will be far more interested to observe this new facet of you. It makes you appear more human that something like this seems to pull out such a strong reaction from you. Though if he notices that you start to pull back is when he will pull you out of your fit again. No need to loose that shiny personality of your now.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He will invade your space, instead of forcing you to stay in his. There won´t be a chance of him kidnapping you in a traditional sense. Also, he will be well-liked by most of your peers, because he can play of normal and charming young gentleman very well. Another thing that differentiates him is that he will never be able to open up to you. No matter if you try or not.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

He has an unfortunate habit to shift his personality to fit better into any situation. He always tries to be the most charming version of him that he can. In the end Chrollo lacks an identity that he can rely on. There is no sense of self that can help him to steady himself. This doesn´t mean that he necessarily easy to shake up, but it´s something that can be achieved. Something that can be exploited to manipulate the situation to your favour.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Chrollo wouldn´t hurt you directly. He has enough self-control to avoid that. But what he will do is threaten everyone you love with a pleasant smile on his lips. He doesn´t care about other people. He doesn´t have the energy for it either. His priority is you. Not whoever you hold dear. He also won´t mind to render them apart if it ensures that you will stay at his side. Or at least won´t act out in an obvious manner.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He is someone that sees you as an immeasurable treasure. He wants you as soon as he sets his eyes on you, and is not willing to change his mind over you either. While he doesn´t outright worship you, he still puts you on a pedestal. After all you make him feel alive. A feeling that he very deeply treasures and will chase after. He tries to be charming at first, and will try to win you over like that.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

He doesn´t really pine in the first place. He sees you, recognizes that he wants you, then he takes you. There is no period of time, where he just can´t stop thinking about you. His desire overtakes him quickly and completely. Like it always does. And he has learned early: To get what he wants, he has to take you. Nothing comes for free after all, and while patience is a virtue, there is nothing, that can hold him back.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

He would threaten to do this to them. Though he would never actually do it. He makes you aware, that this could be a possibility, without the intention to do it. He likes you. He thinks, that they are interesting. So, why would he break that? Sure, there is some beauty in all the broken things of this world. Doesn´t mean you have to break too. But there is no sense in letting them know that. He likes the fear in your eyes, when he tangles the empty promise over their head.

[venturebeeloved]

Lifeguard Venture HCs

DON’T WORRY VENTURE NATION. I WILL HELP US COPE WITH THIS TRAGIC LOSS! This is definitely not me coping from not having venture content. Definitely not. Hope you enjoy!

TW: none!! This is very fluffy <33 like this is genuine fluffy brainrot. Reader is implied to be GN but can be whatever!

• For starters, they are definitely coworkers worth the rest of the baywatch squad (that’s what I call all the lifeguard skins now.) and they’re absolutely stationed near the ice cream stand.

• Probably looking around all the time! Can’t stay still and focus on one thing. They’re super attentive, though! They’d probably hone in on a kid getting too close to the water just to make sure everything is okay.

• Wears really funny sunglasses. Not like your average pair but those really funny tourist shop ones.

• They always have a smudge of sunscreen somewhere. Whether it be on their nose, chest, or back. They never manage to wipe it all away first try.

• Then along comes you!! And oh boy can they not keep their eyes off of you. Not like openly admiring, but they find their gaze drifting towards you when they have nothing to do.

• if you’re a coworker, they get ecstatic when you’re stationed next to them! They always want to spend their break near you, eating lunch or getting a drink.

• Do NOT flirt with them while they’re on the job, they will lose focus and flush brighter than any sunburn would be capable of.

• Needless to say, if you’re drowning, they’re saving you in an instant. Like leaning over you trying to make sure you’re okay. Nobody has ever seen them so distraught.

• Ice cream date? Ice cream date. They’ll talk all about how sand is formed and maybe take you beach combing for shells.

• Mauga is not a lifeguard, he probably runs the tiki bar. He and Sloan fight like siblings, constantly trying to one up each other. Very competitive volley ball!

• So imagine Sloan just walking by Mauga with you, a dumb yet smug grin on their face because they landed someone like YOU!

• If you find a piece of sea glass, you are keeping it, and now Rosetta has a partner!

• Maybe they’ll take the day off one day so you can have a proper beach date. You want to build a sandcastle? They’ll be the best architect ever. You just want to relax? Lay beside them or in their arms. You want to go into the water? Don’t expect them to play fair when the water guns come out.

• They make sure to educate you in proper beach safety, including very uncommon threats like washed up jellyfish or whales (VERY unlikely, but they just want you to be prepared!)

• Pet names would include “my pearl”, “my treasure”, and “my sunshine”

• If you have top surgery scars, that’s alright! Sloane has them too! They encourage you to not be ashamed about wearing a swimsuit that shows your scars. If you still don’t want to, that’s okay! They want your comfort.

• At the end of the day, they’ll wait for you at the beach and walk home with you, holding your hand and telling you stories of things that happened before or during the day!

• They’re glaring at anybody who is staring at you, or trying to flirt with you. That person is lucky they’re on the job so they can’t truly protect you, but that doesn’t mean they won’t blow your whistle or try to keep you near their chair.

• THEY DIG HOLES IN THE BEACH! Their favorite thing to do is dig, dig, and dig! If they find anything under the sand, they give it to you as a gift.

• They’re like those brown Labradors that come back golden after digging in the sand

• Call them a golden retriever they’ll melt

my asks and requests are open!! Feel free to drop ideas. I have an idea for a marine biologist reader x lifeguard venture HC / Drabble, so lmk if you’re interested in that 🐝

[sightofsea]

end of the year reclist

well!! the year is winding down and I read some good stuff on ao3. here are the highlights.

Good Omens:

Ut It Tempus (Or: Muriel's Wet, Wild, and Very Hot Summer Weekend) by Oatmeal Addiction

just recently read this one so it goes on the top of the list!! incredibly funny, great muriel character study, some of the funniest prose out there. it genuinely feels like you're reading a continuation of the book, which is just such a cherry on top of everything this fic has to offer.

a rarer height by @hyruling

this was the first fic I read post series 2 that scratched that itch i get for good go fic. the atmosphere it creates is lovely, like a little blanket to wrap yourself up in. the way it jumps back and forth through time is amazing. the characterization is so good--I'd been waiting for a fic where the way they fight felt natural and HOOOOO boy did this deliver like a swift kick in the nuts. absolutely a post series 2 classic.

puttin' on the ritz by @moonyinpisces

what can I say that hasn't been said already. it's funny it's hot it's glamorous they are so unbelievably stupid for each other it's amazing. I think about it every time I order a drink with a maraschino cherry.

Just Once More by NaroMoreau

TIME LOOP FIC!!!! that's all I can say. what a great character study and what a great means of utilizing time loops for character development. absolutely lovely.

Drinking Buddies and Diaries by dove_dove

on my life this is probably one of my favorites of all time. perfectly imagined series 3. perfectly imagined muriel and crowley shenanigans, perfectly bitchy aziraphale, with a wonderful small study on food symbolism to add to the cherry on top. lovely.

I'm the treasure baby, I'm the prize by stereobone

crowley works at a brothel and hypnotizes men into thinking they're having sex with him so he can therapize about aziraphale to them. that's it. that's the story. it's perfect

come as you are by fruitygoblin

this one made me cry buckets for very personal reasons but also I think it's a very good character study of aziraphale and it also does something lovey stuff with food symbolism.

Sherlock:

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea by DiscordantWords

I finally read this one after meaning to get to it for years (I love the author's other works) and uh yeah. yeah. great exploration of grief and somehow successfully makes things make sense after whatever all that was.

House:

Old machines by applecrumblecore

I love fucked up middle aged men and I love how this seems like a totally plausible way for them to get together.

Howler Tone by baffledbear

I love fucked up middle aged men and I LOOOOVE fucked up codependent self destructive tendencies displayed through impromptu phone sex. Or whatever.

Red Dwarf:

Learning to Lose by komodobits

listen. technically I read this last year and technically I made myself promise not to put any WIPs on this list. but it started updating again and also this fic was made for me. Its a blades of glory au and it's so deliciously funny and sucks you in so fast. it's crazy. I've pulled all nighters over it. it's literally the two stupidest things I love with all my heart smashed into one. it doesn't get better than this.

[jacks347]

Would the listeners survive a zombie apocalypse? (In my slightly sarcastic, completely subjective opinion)

Idk man, I'm bored and got time to kill in church so here we are

(Tagging this is going to be a nightmare-)

(Edit from the future: It was. It really was.)

Redacted:

For sake of my sanity this isn't all the listeners, just the ones I'm still actively keeping up with (I'll get to the others...eventually)

Angel - Solid maybe. Out of all the unempowereds, definitely has one of the highest chances. But it would take an extreme streak of luck.

Babe - No...I'm sorry but no. Would be like one of those extras that you see eaten in the first minute of a horror movie.

Sweetheart - Probably. Can a zombie detect someone invisible? Sweetheart is smart enough to survive, they'll be fine.

Darlin - Yes if they have Sam to hold them back from sacrificing themself for the "greater good". No if they're left completely to their own devices.

Lovely - Depends on the version. Pre Adam, no. Pre Inversion, maybe? Post Inversion, definitely. Hard to die to a zombie apocalypse when you're a) already dead and b) literally immortal.

Treasure - Okay, I know Treasure is the newest addition to the roster and we haven't had a lot of time to see their personality develop but as of now? Yeah...no.

Freelancer - They'll do it on -3 hours of sleep simply out of spite. Freelancer has been through enough, they're just tired. They'd survive but begrudgingly.

Honey - Honey would survive out of spite and spite alone. Would definitely have that baseball bat from The Walking Dead.

GBA:

Guardian - ...you're kidding, right?

Darling - Yeah...no. Soft bby would never.

Faithful - Possibly? That stubborn attitude and medical abilities would help but has absolutely no combat training so ehhhhh, it depends.

Paradise - If she can break a pirate crew out of space Fort Knox and wrangle Yargwynn, a zombie apocalypse is pocket change. Paradise would own an apocalypse.

Partner - I swear I'll stop bullying the new additions. Once they're worth not bullying. The man made the zombie apocalypse, I guess we're gonna find out if he survives won't we? I'm not hopeful though.

Escaped:

Asset - No one in ATW even knows how to do basic math, the only way any of them survive is through sheer force of which they might actually be successful. So maybe.

Raven - Yes but she would have a mental breakdown about it so she would not be the same on the other side.

Slash - ...seriously?

Guest - Hm, a trained vampire slayer in a zombie apocalypse, I wonder what would happen! Obviously she'd be fine.

Intern - Entirely dependent on who they're trying to keep alive. If it's just them, probably. If it's them and the rest of their merry band of misfits, no.

Future Wife - You're funny. RIP my girl, no one will know her husband broke the fuckin timeline for some pancakes.

Agent Schäfer - Once the shock and panic wore off, yeah she'd be fine. Hope she doesn't get eaten during that freeze.

("Where's Lass?" When Desmond returns for more than five minutes, come talk to me about listening to Blue Infinity)

Nomad:

Pack Mom - Definitely. We already know she's a deadly shot and wasn't afraid to shoot a living person, a dead one would be fine. She will be perfectly fine.

Lass - Yes. Not with as much overwhelming power as Pack Mom but she'd get through it. I mean...she has formal sword training, I think she'd do okay.

Little One - Probably not. Out of the original Frosthaven romances, they are the least likely to survive. They'd put up a good fight though.

Lamb - Yes and no. Physically, she'd be just fine. Mentally, I don't know if she could do it. Slipping back into that killer mindset might just drag her under.

Chester's mate - Probably not. Out of all the new Frosthaven romances, they're the most average. They'd try though.

Harlow's roommate - No. I love them but no. Not our slightly stupid boat captain.

Caltraxus' TA - Yes and they'd hate it every step of the way. Would survive completely hungover if that was an option.

The Doctor - Probably? If not by her own merit then definitely through someone else cause everyone needs a doctor in the apocalypse.

Beau's mate - Yes. Literally fought a bear once. She will be just fine.

(The lack of fandom names for Nomad's listeners saddens me greatly. And also makes my work so much harder)

This was so dumb but I had fun so :P

[fatuismooches]

HAHXHDHSHS FRAGILE!READER GAME PLAY HUT WHEN SHE THROWS A PUFFTORRE IT EXPLODES INTO CONFETTI 😭😭 (it was dottore's idea, you were very upset at this!!!)

ALSO JXHDKFHDKEHKCDHI 💥💥💥💥💥 THE THE.. IDEA I GOT... WHAT IFFFF dottore n fragile!reader are 2 characters as 1 unit? Like Clara n Svarog in HSR... Dottore is main dps while ur doing healing on one skill, which is using the Pufftorres/Foxttores JDHDKHDKEE IDK I JUST THINK IT'S SOOO CUTE n one idle is just them being silly together.... Hfjdekgrke dottore holding reader's cheek and reader gigglinh before he huffs and turns cuz u gotta fight and all!!! If reader gets hit n hp goes below like what, 40%? 50%? Immediately switches to dottore n he gets buffs cuz no body hurts his beloved and gets away with it!!! 😡😡😡 reader having favoritism with characters... Fatui and dottore almost getting huge number healing while others get almost none (esp the archons 💀) :33

ALSO VISIONLESS CHARACTERS!!! I need that too... Dottore with a vision is SOOO off putting

Also my voice lines. I'm OBSESSED... maybe... in game interactions when in battle together??? 💥💥💥💥💥💥I can't.... Officially my Roman Empire 💔😭

IM GOING INSANEEEE RAHHHH THIS IS SO FLIPPING CUTE I CANT- Not the confetti!! The poor Puffttores didn't consent to this!! 😭 BUT BEWJDE IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY... imagine you have a Treasure Hoarder or someone cowering in fear because you're playing around with the Puffttores in your hands menacingly... and you throw it at them ready to end the guy but!! Instead both of you are freaked out by the confetti floating everywhere! Dottore gets a very passionate rant from you later that day >:((

But like. Let's not forget about how many other possibilities there are. FRAGILE READER TEASER. It is mostly scenes of them and Zandik during the Akademiya. Except, current fragile reader is there in the background, forlornly watching their former self and Zandik's memories. With every new scene, fragile reader walks behind them, their gaze growing sadder and sadder the whole time, but they do not say a word. Until, it gets to a point where their former self starts to fade away, and in a panic they run after themselves, only to be met with nothingness. They have to accept that they'll no longer ever go back to their old self. (Kind of like Raiden's teaser)

DEMO. I imagine it's kind of like Furina's in a way. Because fragile reader's demo is all in their head/a dream. It begins deceptively happy at first, bright sunlight, joyful music, and smiles. They are finally doing the things they wanted, traveling to other nations, doing things that any normal person would do. Showing Foxttore the world too. The segments are there as well, bickering as usual while fragile reader looks on happily, interrupting them and pulling them to see all the sights the world has to offer. There are no worries, nothing bad happening at all... which makes it all the more unsettling. And at the end- fragile reader wakes up with a start, in complete and utter darkness. For it was all a dream.

COLLECTED MISCELLANY. Dainsleif introducing you, but surprise surprise! Dottore takes over instead to describe his beloved!! EBWDIEWB him explaining all of the silly moves you do with Foxttore and Puffttores... 😭 all with a straight tone. You guys are so married couple 😭

AND YESSSS BRO IM LOVING THEM BEING A 2 IN 1.... do NOT separate them!! In reality... Dottore doesn't really need your support skills (he's incredibly strong after all) but!! He doesn't have the heart when you're so excited to finally be near him... :( AND OH MY GOSH A SHARED IDLE WITH BOTH OF THEM... also consider: Dottore playfully ignoring reader by looking at his notes and clipboard... and you get all pouty until you snatch it out of his hands and he chuckles... ugh so many possibilities...

Immediately getting swapped out when you get too hurt 🥺 i was thinking that happens when you're about to take a killing hit but!! That's more accurate because he'd never let it reach that point! OKAY BUT ALSO REAL. I always thought it'd be cool if certain characters got special buffs based on their in-game relationship with others (like members of the Qixing, or the Knights, Lyney and Lynette etc) We love fragile reader doting on their fellow Fatuis and shitting on the Archons!! They can stay on life support for all you care!!

AND THE BATTLE INTERACTIONS- okay hear me out. For the 2 in 1 character, you get two different ultimates depending on who your active character is. If it's fragile reader, it starts with Dottore ready to do the job for you, but you valiantly put your arm out in front of him, because you wanna protect him!! He watches on with amusement as you assault the screen with tons of Puffttores :3 (they're unlimited) If Dottore is the one on the field, before he brutally annihilates the enemies, you give him a little kiss for good luck and jump around in the background cheering him on totally ignoring how those guys are completely dead!! :3

Okay and your death voice line too - "Zandik... save me..." <3

[reggies-eyeliner]

THE CLASSIC MATCHUP - @littlelilbun

THE "HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH WITH YOU" COUPLE

#now playing ... video games by lana del rey!

miguel o'hara had never been big on physical touch. or talking. or purposefully making funny jokes. he actually wasn't a big fan on a lot of things. the only person he really regularly talked to was lyla, but that was only because he had to in order to get things going in the spider society-- but someone he could never find himself pushing away from was you. at first, being completely honest, he'd been so busy with monitoring the whole spider society that he'd neglected to realize that you and lyla were attached at the hip. both of you got along great, both having similar wardrobes and the occasional matching sunglasses. what began with conversations with solely lyla, even after work hours, ended with miguel joining in with the occasional wry joke every now and then. that slowly began to grow more into full fleged conversations with the three of you, and you and miguel had created a bond that seemed to be just about unbreakable.

he isn't big on romance, he likes to think, because he doesn't have the time for it. sometimes miguel says the words "the fate of the multiverse" and you and peter b. look at each other and snort a little, but sometimes you see the the corner of his lips twitch.

the first time miguel o'hara does anything remotely romantic is in battle, when some random universe's doc ock decides that you'd be the perfect victim. you weren't awake for most of it, but lyla tells you that miguel had practically dropped everything to save you, refusing to acknowledge the possibility that you wouldn't make it. he had stayed at the hospital every night to look after you, and every day grew into a week into two weeks before you were discharged, and during that time, both of you talked like there was no tomorrow.

when miguel actually realizes that he's in love and he's not having some sort of allergic reaction, he kind of sneaks in a small, quick question, even leaning against the wall to sound extra casual to lyla, "hey uh what's that new album taylor swift released" and lyla drops everything because . why is this man even asking this question . but it doesn't take long for her to connect the dots, and realizes that he wants to know more about your interests and what you like. lyla tells you, obviously, and fortunately, things progress from there.

once you two are actually together, miguel treasures lazy saturday mornings and cozy friday evenings. he even loves the "i'm so exhausted i might die" monday mornings on his way to the spider society, because he's with you. if you struggle with anxiety, while he might not know the best thing to do at first, he'll talk you through it every step of the way. but he won't ever pity you or see you as something broken, he sees you as someone who's deserving of respect, and most importantly, love.

oh man this guy starts keeping an extra hair tie on his wrist for you, or he literally keeps make up wipes in his storage cabinet (he asked peter b advice on what he keeps on hand for his wife 😭<33), and he definitely thinks it's awesome that you're studying six languages, and he'll also definitely ask you about it !! also he loves holding you while sleeping beacuse if a man is touch starved it's him

RANDOMIZED TROPE:

" SHARING A BED "

-> within two weeks of dating, miguel o'hara has realized a lot of things, mainly being that you thrive on physical touch-- something he's tried his best to shake himself away from. but as he watches you, arms opened wide for an embrace laying on a hospital bed after a particulary taxing day fighting doc ock, his heart stutters. slowly, hesitantly, he takes your hand, lying down beside you. he immediately warms up to your embrace, letting your head fall to his chest. lyla takes photos<33

a/n: thank you so so much for the request!! i am so so sorry that this took so long!!! if i missed anything please let me know >:D!<3 i hope you're doing alright + things are going okay for you!! remember to hydrate and eat well, take care!!!

[withacapitalp]

How to Rehabilitate a Jock Part 6

Part 1 Part 5. Ao3 Link Part 7

It was already the second week of December by the time the Hellfire club finally, finally, defeated the Demon Lord Graz’zt. Normally, Eddie loved when a campaign stretched and stretched. It was a devious kind of joy to get to see his friends get stumped and backtrack and do everything they could to defeat whatever he had put in front of them. 

This time, he just wanted them to stab his stupid demon in the chest, light him on fire, and be done with it. 

A thousand times he had thought about just letting them win, and just letting them get through the end of the campaign. But his integrity as a dungeon master and a storyteller stopped him from doing it every single time. 

That, and Eddie was pretty sure they would be able to tell if he was skimping out on an ending just to get to the next campaign. Especially since they all knew why he would be so anxious to get to the next campaign. 

But, last week they had done it. Right at the last second Graz’zt had exploded in a shower of red sparks, the party had gained treasure and XP galore, and Eddie had stayed up every night this week finishing a one shot just for the occasion. 

Usually there was a rest week in between campaigns, or one of the others would rotate in as DM and Eddie would get to play for a while, but he wanted to be the one to run Steve’s first game. He didn’t trust any of the others not to sabotage, or try and kill him off early. 

Besides, he had the perfect beginner game planned. 

Well, he would have the perfect beginner game if their beginner ever decided to show up. 

“Seems like being late is a character trait,” Frank said as the rest of Hellfire sat around the table, clearly bored. Jeff was doodling in his book, and Rocky looked like he was asleep on the far side, face smushed up against the wood. School had ended almost a half hour ago, but there was still no sign of Steve. 

“This does give us time for a JRP update?” Janet suggested, sliding her chair back and walking over to the board. 

“Well, the update is…wow! Nothing has changed,” Gareth said, faking a look of utter shock before sliding back into his usual grumpy scowl, turning to Eddie, “Do you really want to wait three more months just to have to admit that I am right about him?” 

“How could anything have changed so far, Gareth?” Eddie shot back, sick and tired of his best friend’s issues. 

He held up a hand and began to count on his fingers right in front of Gareth’s face. Eddie knew that the other boy hated when he did things like that, but he also knew that he really couldn’t give a flying fuck at this point. Steve was trying, really honestly trying, and Gareth was being a jerk for literally no reason. 

“We just finished our new campaign, Steve isn’t even aware of the band yet because I’m not allowed to invite him to a show, and your third ridiculous checkpoint still has no defining parameters!” Eddie finished with a flourish. 

“Well, technically you can invite Steve to a show,” Kaiden said, grabbing everyone’s attention. He shrugged, pointing to the board, “It doesn’t say that Eddie can never invite him. It just won’t count towards the JRP until Steve goes without an invitation,” 

“Kaiden, what the hell?” Gareth said, spinning around and shooting his glare over to him instead of Eddie. 

“I don’t mind Steve, Gar.” Kaiden said with a shrug, unphased by his mood. By now they were all getting used to working around Gareth’s griping, “He’s pretty chill, he can be kinda funny, and I can’t think of anything he personally did that was that bad. Maybe he really is trying to be someone different now,”

The rest of the club didn’t speak, which Eddie decided to consider an extremely minute amount of progress. Sure, they weren’t sticking up for Steve, but they weren’t actively fighting against him anymore. 

Well, all except for one

“Traitor,” Gareth muttered under his breath. 

“Hey,” Eddie immediately snapped. Gareth could be pissy with him all he wanted, but he couldn’t go after another one of Eddie’s sheep just because he was mad. 

“I agree with Kaiden, I don’t see why Eddie would be forbidden from ever inviting Steve to a show,” Janet said, tapping her chin. 

Either she was unaware of how close the boys were to actually fighting, or she was actively ignoring it in favor of staying logical. Eddie would bet all of his money on the latter. Janet really was too smart for her own good. 

“As for setting parameters for the third point, I’m not sure how we go about that,” She continued, tapping her chalk against the board as she wracked her brain for potential ideas. 

“We don’t. We’ll know it when we see it,” Gareth stubbornly repeated, crossing his arms, “Though I doubt we will. This is just a waste of time.” 

Okay. Enough was enough. 

“What is your problem with him?!” Eddie shouted, starting the rest of the group. Rocky’s head popped off the table with a gasp, and Jeff immediately stiffened up. They were used to Eddie shouting, used to him raising his voice or getting angry, but that was all play, a show. This was actual anger, and that was scary. 

“Where did your problem with him go?” Gareth said, giving as good as he got, “You used to be the first to say that they aren’t us! They’re the enemy! He is literally the face of that enemy! What happened to the Munson Doctrine?!” 

Eddie opened his mouth to tell Gareth exactly where he could stick his Munson Doctrine, but before he could, Jeff stood up. 

His shoulders were up by his ears, and he looked completely uncomfortable, but Jeff was standing up anyway. A silent look from their bassist took the wind out of both boys’ sails, and they sat back down, tense and on edge. 

“Sorry Jeff,” Eddie sighed, pushing down any potential self hatred that wanted to rise up. The two of them knew Jeff’s story, knew why he wasn’t comfortable with angry yelling close to him, and they had done it anyway. Eddie forced himself to take a deep breath, watching as Gareth did the same. 

“Yeah, sorry,” Gareth echoed, looking genuinely remorseful. 

“This isn’t productive,” Frank pointed out, rolling his chair backwards until it collided with the chalkboard next to where Janet was standing, “I think that we should settle for a compromise.  All of the club members agree that Steve can stay. That would at least be enough to be considered a renouncement of some sort, right?,”

“That’s not the same,” Gareth protested. 

“Well, seeing as you don’t have a good argument for your checkpoint,” Frank replied, trailing off and waiting to hear if he had anything else to say. When Gareth remained grumpy and silent the rest nodded. 

“Okay so, I’ll just write our initials here, and when we decide we’re okay with Steve-”

“If” Gareth interrupted. 

“Fine. If we decide that we’re okay with Steve staying, we can cross out our names,” Janet said, miffed at being talked over, but choosing to move past it in favor of keeping the peace. 

She quickly began to jot down everyone’s initials, adding Steve’s right at the top just to keep up appearances. Eddie wasn’t exactly sure how they would explain that one, but hopefully Steve wouldn’t ask. He usually didn’t question things around the room unless they were particularly outlandish. 

“I’m fine with Steve,” Eddie said the second she wrote his initials. 

“We got that one, Eds,” Jeff replied with a good natured eye roll. Now that things were calming down again, he seemed way more relaxed. Janet clicked her tongue anyway, putting a thick white line through the E.M. she had just written. 

“I don’t mind him,” Kaiden tacked on. Janet shot him a quick nod, crossing out Kaiden’s initials, and then, surprisingly, her own.

“Janet?” Frank questioned. She shrugged, pausing for a second to ruffle his hair as she continued to write. She was the only one that didn’t see the way Frank’s face went beet red the moment she touched him. 

“He’s interesting,” She said, as if that was the only explanation she needed, “I’m a scientist. I like to experiment,” 

She finished with Gareth’s ‘G.L-W.’ turning to face the group. 

“Anyone else?” 

The rest of the club shook their heads, but Eddie couldn’t care less. He was already a third of the way there! And, there was no doubt in his mind that at least a few of them were going to be impressed with Steve’s gameplay today. 

After all Steve had been taught by the best. 

“Okay so, slightly modified parameters, but-” 

“Sorry I’m late!” Steve said as he burst into the room, cutting Janet off. 

If she was annoyed at being interrupted a second time, she didn’t let it slip. Instantly, she and Frank were back in their seats, her chalk abandoned, broken in two on the ground. The entire club did their best to look perfectly innocent, a truly terrible job that left them all seeming extremely, extremely, guilty. 

The only reason they got away with it was that Steve was way too caught up in rambling and trying to explain himself. 

“I’m so sorry, I was trying to get the kids set up in the library, because they want to come to my house after school for a sleepover. Winter break, right? But then they kept asking me question after question, and wanting to come watch me shoot hoops. They never want to watch me shoot hoops! Why now?! I swear this is what I get for letting them use my house to take pictures for the Snow Ball.” Steve groaned, getting stuck in his scarf as he tried to unwind it from around his head. 

Eddie laughed softly, getting up and coming around the table, slowly helping Steve get free of his yarn filled prison. 

“Are you going to chaperone this Sunday?” Eddie asked. Instantly his mind was filled with the image of Steve in a handsome black suit, a dark red rose sitting in his lapel and perfectly complimenting his ruby lips. 

Okay. File that under ‘Things Eddie was never allowed to think about again except when alone in his bedroom’. 

“Definitely not. I’m a babysitter, not a chaperone,” Steve said with a smirk, “I’ll let them get ready at my place and have a little after party there, and that should stop them from being arrogant whiny brats for a little while. Hope I didn’t miss anything though,” 

Just the rest of the club talking about using him as a human lab rat. 

“Nope,” Eddie lied smoothly, pulling Steve’s chair out for him and making a huge grand gesture for him to come sit. 

“Welcome to this side of the table,” Kaiden said from his seat across from Steve. Normally Gareth sat on Eddie’s right side, but since the first meeting that Steve had joined, his best friend had regulated himself to the corner as far from Eddie as he could get. 

Whatever. That was better anyway. Eddie didn’t care. 

(He cared so much more than he wanted to admit.) 

“Glad to be here?” Steve said, pulling out the folder Eddie had given him for all of his character sheets and looking around the group nervously. 

He didn’t have anything to worry about. Eddie had helped him to build a totally awesome persona. 

“It’s hell,” Frank sighed solemnly, patting Steve’s shoulder. 

“Hellfire,” Eddie corrected, the rest of the group groaning at his bad pun. He waved off their lack of appreciation for his fantastic word play, perching on his throne and raising a hand. 

“I would like to take a moment to recognize that this is a special occasion. We are here to celebrate the birth of Steve’s very first Dungeons and Dragons character,” Eddie said, pausing so the rest could react appropriately. 

Sure enough there was a round of foot stomping and table slapping. Steve startled at the noise, but quickly recovered, blushing, but still staring directly at Eddie with those big beautiful browns. 

God damn this brave, lovely, completely adorable boy. 

“May I introduce the former Prince of the realm, Level One Human Ranger Stefan of Herringtown. Stefan, Welcome to Hellfire,” Eddie said, pausing to give Steve a secretive wink and loving the way that the blush on the other boy’s cheeks traveled to his ears when he did. 

Stefan was, arguably, a pretty cool first time character. Steve lingered just on the edge of being a paladin, but he had enough chaotic energy that Ranger seemed to fit him better. He was a loyal to a fault kind of guy who had a habit for picking up strays, a smooth quick talking charm that tended to get him in and out of trouble, and a chip on his shoulder from being exiled from his kingdom. 

In short, he was Steve, but dungeons and dragonsified. Perfect for the first play through. 

With that settled, Eddie rolled his shoulders, settling himself into his dungeon master character and taking a long breath in. 

“Your party is starting off trekking across the frozen tundra,” He began, feeling the mood shift to excitement as the rest prepared themselves for his opener, “Your feet are freezing, and your fingers have gone numb, but you continue on anyway. You have heard tale of an abandoned factory at the highest point of the world- a place littered with treasures and everything a being could ever ask for. You want to see the place for yourselves, and maybe even loot some of the booty.” 

Rocky gave a vicious grin at this, chuckling softly to himself. His tiefling rogue was always looking to horde more treasure, and Rocky loved to get into character as quickly as he could. It was fun, it added something to the game. 

“You see a building and hurry closer, eager to get out of the biting frost. It is a dark unnatural place with high smoke stacks and mounds of coal sitting all around the entrance. You enter as one without thinking or stopping to check your surroundings, collapsing on the other side and panting to catch your breath. What is your first move, Goren the Great?” Eddie asked, starting on the far side of the table. 

Even if he and Gareth weren’t on the best of terms right now, Eddie still wouldn’t want to start a campaign with any other player. It just wouldn't feel right. 

“I do a perception check,” Gareth decided. Eddie nodded towards his d8, and Gareth grabbed it, throwing down a seven. 

“As a dwarf, you have spent many years hunting through mines for precious gems, so your ability to see in the dark is unparalleled. You can see strange boot shaped bags all around the room, and boxes that are wrapped with twine bows,” He said, watching as their brains began to spin with possibilities.

This was the best part. Watching his players try to figure out exactly what was going on around them was just so fun. 

“Well, I have a feeling we may have stumbled upon the right place. I can see treasure from corner to corner,” Gareth remarked, throwing his voice into a growling rumble, perfect for his hardened grizzled character. 

“I can’t see anything,” Jeff complained, getting into it. 

"That's because you are a stupid elf, and your stupid elf eyesight only works in the day,” Gareth replied, both of them holding back laughter. 

“How dare you?! You, you…tiny little man!” 

And then they were off, back and forth insults that were cheesy, yet sometimes creative. The club watched in amusement. Even Steve was snickering, and he normally tried to pretend he didn’t exist when it had anything to do with Gareth. Usually Eddie would try and focus the group back in, but he was happy to let them banter for a little while. 

This was the kind of fighting they should be doing. This was the Gareth Eddie knew, and getting to see that that guy was still somewhere in this new person was very comforting. 

“I am through with your impertinent conclusions,” Jeff huffed in mock exasperation, keeping his voice high and flighty as he did, “I am ready to take my turn, master of the game.” 

“Very well,” Eddie said, inclining his head and waiting to hear. 

“I open my bag and get out a torch, but I want to hit Goren with my bag as I do it,” Jeff said, the rest of the group immediately bursting into laughter.

“Roll 2 d8. One for hitting him, and one for how much light the torch is going to give you,” Eddie instructed, biting his lip to hide his smile. Jeff let the dice fly, getting an eight and a two respectively. 

“As you pull out your torch, you smack Goren right in the face with your bag. Goren loses one hit point,” Eddie said, making a note on his paper. 

“Ow!” 

“Oh, I am sooo sorry that was completely unintentional.” Jeff gasped sarcastically, holding a hand against his heart and raising his eyes to the sky. 

“Goren does not believe you, but he will hold his anger for later,” Eddie said, sliding in smoothly before another ‘argument’ could take place, “You light your torch, but the draft coming in through the broken windows makes the flame flicker and shrink. You can just see the edge of an image drawn on the wall,” 

“I want to examine the drawing,” Kaiden jumped in. 

“June Iper it is not your turn,” Eddie replied, referring to Kaiden by his character’s name. If they were doing things their normal way, then it would be Kaiden’s turn, but as it was, it was time for Rocky to go. 

Kaiden grumbled to himself, then sat up straight. He and Rocky made eye contact for a brief second before quickly scrambling to switch seats. 

“Now it is my turn,” Kaiden said, his head held high in victory. Eddie rolled his eyes but allowed it to slide, just happy that the two freshman boys were having a good time. He let Kaiden roll and then continued on, eager to get to the entrance of the main enemy. 

“You snatch the torch out of Boz’s hand, scampering up to the wall and holding it as high as you can, which isn’t very high at all,” Eddie pointed out. Kaiden’s character was a gnome, and Eddie never missed a chance to make a short joke at their expense, “The rest of the party can only see what looks like a chariot being dragged by cloven hoofed beasts.” 

“Wait a second,” Janet said, her face lighting up in realization. She turned to Eddie with her eyes narrowed, and he schooled himself into a completely innocent expression. 

“Yes Miss Ngyet?” He asked innocently, having a feeling she had already guessed where this one shot was going. 

“I take the torch from June so we can see better,” 

“Is there normally this much torch stealing?” Steve asked softly as Janet rolled, quirking his head to the side as he gave Eddie a raised brow. Before Eddie could respond, Frank interrupted. 

“Hey, you’re on our side now,” Frank said, nudging their arms together, “Ask us your questions,”

“Oh, sorry,” Steve apologized, turning towards Frank. 

Behind Steve’s back, Eddie gave Frank a grateful little smile. Sure, he was probably only being nice to Steve right now because Janet had said she was okay with him, but Eddie would take any kind of progress. Frank gave Eddie a short nod, and they settled back into their roles, continuing the game. 

“With Miss Ngyet’s extra height you can all see the full mosaic. Gasping in horror you finally recognize the picture you’re looking at. A man dressed in robes that are bathed in blood, a stampede of reindeer pulling his sledge. All at once the lights turn on in the factory, blinding you. There’s an ominous laughter from behind. Ho. Ho. HO.” Eddie roared. 

More light bulbs around the room as Jeff and Frank both caught on. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Jeff sighed, putting his face in his hands to muffle his laughter. Eddie grabbed the mini figure sitting in front of him, standing up and beginning the monologue he had practiced in front of the mirror all week. Wayne had nearly forced him to go outside to do it after the first few days of never ending repetition. 

“Your foe! A man turned God who knows the name of every child in the world, and watches endlessly. This God, who was once a benevolent overlord, loved to shower gifts upon those he deemed good, giving gentle reminders to those he saw being bad. Now he feasts upon the ‘Naughty’ alongside his favorite meal of milk and cookies,” Eddie ominously lowered his voice, coming to stand between Steve and Frank. 

Steve leaned backwards and turned his head. Frank did the same. 

“Is this what I think it is?” Steve whispered behind Eddie. 

“Yes,” Frank whispered back. 

“The demonous, the dastardly, the fat…” 

Eddie thrust the minifigure down onto the table, standing back as he hollered at the top of his lungs. 

“KRIS KRINGLE!” 

Eddie had been absolutely, completely, 100%, right. 

This was an epic one shot. 

After their initial reactions to finding out they were doing battle against Santa of all people, the rest of the club dove into the campaign with glee. Eddie had taken care to create an awesome story filled to the brim with little easter eggs, and they were eating up every bit of it. 

There were hypnotically enslaved elves, blood thirsty reindeer, exploding candy canes, even a section where the party had to sing Christmas songs to escape from a platoon of killer carolers.

Yeah he was biased, but Steve’s giggly rendition of WHAM’s new hit song was the best thing Eddie had ever heard in his life. 

Speaking of, the biggest shock of the game had to be how well Steve was doing. Eddie had honestly expected to have to subtly take it a little easy on him, but the jock was turning out to be one of the trickiest players he had ever gone up against. 

Sure, the math and the writing portion was a bit of a hiccup, but Steve’s strategic thinking was unexpectedly excellent, and he seemed to have a knack for survival. He had quickly made himself an invaluable player, and the rest had accepted him into the fold, if only for now. 

And the best part of it all was how much fun Steve was having. The smile on his face was bright, utterly joyful in a way Eddie had only seen once years ago. He had seen Steve smile plenty since then, but it was always quiet, kind of hidden away, like he was scared to show how much he was enjoying himself. 

But this was just…happy. Pure, clear, happy, with nothing standing in its way, and Eddie was drinking in the sight like a man in a desert who had found an oasis. 

After a grueling four hours, Hellfire had finally managed to kill off the final reindeer (Vixen had gone down in a blaze of glory) and release all of the elves from their mind manacles. 

There was just one foe left. 

“As the not-so-jolly man with a bag gently lays his last beast on the ground, he looks up at you all with complete rage in his eyes,” Eddie said in a hushed tone, letting things get as quiet as possible before exploding into sound.

“Naughty! You are All on my naughty list!” Eddie declared, slapping his hand on the table before standing and reaching over his binder to point, “You! And You! And You! And-” 

“Steve?”

Eddie paused mid monologue, his finger still hovering in the air directed at Janet. All of them turned around as one, facing their new intruder. 

Little Red was in the doorway, staring back at them with big eyes. A mischievous grin quickly overtook her face and she opened the door wide, crossing her arms and smugly jutting her chin out at her babysitter.

“Shooting hoops, huh?” 

“Max? Why are you here? Where are the boys?” Steve asked, quickly getting up from the table and coming to her side. The anxiety coloring his tone was unexpected, and Eddie felt himself wilt a little as all of Steve’s walls seemed to have pulled back up in a snap. 

“Down the hall. We’re fine,” Max said, quickly reassuring him and dropping her act. Steve relaxed for a second, but then stiffened once more as she peeked her head around his side. She waved, and the rest of the group waved back. 

“Shooting hoops,” She repeated, raising a brow, “You know, Steve, I’ve never played basketball, but it looks a lot more like Dungeons and Dragons than I expected it too,”

“How long have you known?” Steve sighed.

“That you were lying?” Max asked for clarification, “The whole time. You’re a bad liar, and Billy just couldn’t shut up about how you were benched from playing, and he was going to be the one leading the team now. I wasn’t expecting you to be doing this though. I thought you were meeting up with a girl.” 

“I’ll pay you real money to not tell the others,” Steve said, completely serious. 

Max tapped on her chin, a move that was so reminiscent of Janet that Eddie had to stifle a laugh. He didn’t want to call any attention to himself right now, too invested in seeing how this would all play out. 

“How much?” She asked, giving him a shrewd eye. 

“Five bucks?” Steve offered, sounding slightly desperate. 

Max hummed, making faces as she pretended to consider it. 

“Not enough,” She finally decided with a cute little shrug, sticking her head into the hallway and shouting for the boys to come. 

A stampede of footsteps and hollering began in the distance and Steve groaned, shooting Max a look of utter betrayal before turning to pout at Eddie. 

“Lord, help me,” Steve sighed. 

“Nay, I shan't. Lord Kringle has deemed you naughty, Stefan, there is no hope for you now,” Eddie replied, shaking his head. Steve did not seem at all amused by this, but the rest of the club was chuckling, exchanging wry little grins. 

“Oh, are we about to meet Harrington’s famous children?” Kaiden wondered aloud, already knowing the answer. 

“Don’t,” Steve warned with zero heat in his voice, seemingly already resigned to what was about to happen. He was rubbing at his temple, his eyes shut with a look of pure exhaustion on his face. 

Max patted him twice on the arm before coming over to look at the board, looking over Steve’s character sheets with glee. 

“Hey Little Red,” Eddie said. 

“Hi, Steve’s friend,” She replied with a smirk, “You guys are gonna have fun watching this,” 

Before anyone could ask what she meant, a veritable horde of boys burst into the room. They were once again all talking over each other, but this seemed to just be the way the boys communicated. Dustin, Lucas, and Mike all stayed crowded around Steve yelling at him, while Will began to look around. 

Max quietly whistled, jerking her head and catching Will’s attention. He obediently trotted over, and she showed him what she had found, both of them exchanging quiet whispers that even Eddie couldn't make out over the other kids shouting. 

“Why are you not in the library?” Steve griped, managing to raise his voice above theirs. 

“We finished our campaign and got bored. You’re taking forever, we’re hungry, and we want to see El,” Mike whined, crossing his arms and glaring at his babysitter. 

“What are you doing anyway?” Dustin asked, trying to look around Steve.

“Nothing,” Steve said quickly, pushing Dustin’s head back in front of him, “Get out. I’ll come get you guys in like an hour, or you can walk back to your own houses,”

“Who are they?” Lucas wondered, ignoring Steve’s minor threat. Everyone in the room already knew how hollow it was, “This is definitely not the gym,” 

Eddie was sure Steve had some sort of excuse, something he had cooked up to explain why he was here, but he was not eager to hear it. Sure, Eddie understood why Steve might have wanted to have something that was ‘just his’ (or, at least, he respected it), but the rest of the club wouldn’t. They would definitely think Steve was trying to hide the fact that he knew them, and that would reinforce everything Gareth was saying. 

No matter what, this was not going to go down well, and would probably erase any progress that had been made. 

Luckily for both of them, Will Byers decided that this was the moment to speak up. 

“Steve?” Will said, catching everyone’s attention, “Are you…playing DnD?”

Tension thick as a thousand page novel blanketed them all. Dustin gasped in an extremely melodramatic fashion, and Mike blew past Steve, storming over and slamming his hands down on the table, making all of the figures tremble. Steve seemed lost for words, turning back to give Eddie a ‘help me’ look of terror. 

So, Eddie did what he did best. 

He caused a little chaos. 

“Why yes, young small one, he is playing Dungeons and Dragons,” Eddie said with a tricky grin, loving the explosion of mayhem that came right after, 

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[thenewausten]

A letter to you, with Quackity. [Part 2]

Part 1: here!

"Alex,

Wow. I wasn't expecting this letter, and no, I didn't get mad with my best friend for her giving you my new address, it's okay!

First of all, uh, I don't know what to say. Like, I really don't. I didn't know you were dating, and I didn't know you still love me. Our relationship ended so fast and so suddenly, like, we both had our problems at that time, right?!

As you said, I didn't know how to speak for myself, I was just too young to understand that, in a relationship, we need to have conversations that might be uncomfortable.

It's not easy to have 18 years old and study to be a doctor and it wasn't easy for you to have 18 and study to be a lawyer. I don't blame myself, but I don't blame you either for our mistakes. We're just too young.

I, sometimes, still think about you, still think about that time of our lives. And of course I still remember it all, I, actually, remember it all too well. All our conversations about our futures, the making out on your car and the parties we went together. We'd laugh so hard and have so much fun, I wish it had never ended, you know?!

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and look to my boyfriend, wondering: What if it were you in his place?! I can't help myself, I feel guilty, but it just appears in my mind and there's nothing I can do about it.

Our relationship was very great to me, you were very great to me, Alex. No man I've ever met has treated me as well as you did at that time. Of course, my boyfriend treats me well, but... I don't want to talk about it, but I can say it's not the way you treated me.

I can relate to you when you say you look for me at your girlfriend's eyes. I look for you at the eyes of my boyfriend and when I listen to his beating heart when I lay on his chest, but even the sound of his heart is different. It's not like yours.

It's crazy, right? You meet someone once and then this person lives with you for the rest of your life, even when this person is already gone. Somehow, she does it, and the feeling's ravishing.

Alex, you'll live forever with me. On my heart. There's a special place for you here, for everything we passed together, for all of our beautiful moments, our crazy moments, the laughs and even the fights became a treasure to me. Something that not even the time can erase.

I must admit it, I love you too, 'Lex (do you remember this nickname???). I think I will always love you. Time will pass, five years will become ten years and I'll still love you.

We used to watch "Dirty Dancing" almost every weekend and I can say that I've had the time of my life with you, boy. You know, I'd give a lot of things to dance to this song with you again, in your college bedroom. Do you remember the Pulp Fiction poster of your friend on the wall? I accidentally tore it when you tried to spin me. We laugh so much that day and I still think your friend hates me for the poster, I never had the chance to buy him another one.

Alex, I want you to write for me again, please, do it! I never went after you because I thought you had forgotten me, not because I'm angry with you or something. I could never be angry with you, silly!

I'm happy, and I hope you're happy too, because you deserve it so much!

Thank you for everything, but most importantly, thank you for saying that my Facebook posts are funny, I'm glad you laughed with it!!!

We can meet again, but please, not in a hospital, I already work on there. When I go to LA to visit my family I'll send you a message (or a letter). ;)

I love you, 'Lexie!

Y/N."

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy the writing! :)

Requests are open!