#this is the last time ill be able to post this one huh

[the-s1lly-corner]

Do this whenever you want, or just tell me if your burned out for TADC requests and I’ll put it on the back burner. So, there I was, sick as a dog (still am urgh) and had an idea. Could you do the crew with their s/o who got sick via a virus, like a legitimate computer virus that infected them and got them ill. Found it amusing and as a fun way to introduce real world problems to them in the digital world.

Again, this is low priority so you don’t have to worry about it too much. But other then that, I hope you’re having a marvellous day.

TADC cast x reader w/ a computer virus!

Rolling out a request before I work on art stuff tonight, this might be the nights last post !! Still stuck on mobile since my cramps are still. Keeping me from being able to do stuff at my computer <\3

Written these as a group thing since I was struggling to come up with hcs for separate characters <\3

I know you likely meant this to be executed as something akin to a cold, but I cannot shake the idea of a virus being more.. dangerous and intense, given your entire digital body is code.. ponders.. I think I'll go with a middle ground between actual threat and simple sickness

You were in your room, in fact you were hauled up in it for a while, at least a day or two.. some people were starting to get worried; thinking something happened, that you may have abstracted

Ragatha would be the one to find you in bed; body shifting and glitching about

Obviously, given how similar this was to how Kaufmo was discovered, she would think you were in the middle of abstracting.. I think her freaking out with attract the attention of the others

Ragatha is panicking, too weary to get too close out of fear she would get glitched out too and that you'd turn suddenly

Pomni would have a similar reaction, I think, especially since Kaufmo so far has been her only experience with the abstracted , and she doesnt know what the warning signs look like

Jax just. Dips. He is gone the second he sees the commotion

Kinger is stuck in place,seemingly wrecking himself for the courage to try to help you through this

Zooble seems vaguely shocked, taking a similar route as jax; though they dont leave completely

Gangle , who is in the back, scared and worried out of her mind

Caine... zips forward and after (carefully) inspecting you, announces that you're in fact not abstracting! Youre just sick!

Cue a chorus of relief but also, confusion.. actually kinger is the only one who seems to get it.. hes probably seen someone get sick before.. huh.. weird..

Apparently caine manages to stamp out most viruses before they pose any threat, but it appears sometimes things can happen.. but now with you sick, all you guys can do is wait for you to get better

But hey, caine simps! Look at it this way! You now have the teeth man as your personal bedside nurse since hes the most qualified and able to help you through this!

Kinger, Ragatha, and Gangle still visit you when you're recovering! Ragatha checks in on you to see how you're holding up! Gangle gives you little fidgets and other stuff to keep you occupied! Kinger offers reassurance that things are gonna be alright and he offers to tell you stories

Jax doesnt interact with you until long after you've recovered, far too worried about himself getting whatever yucky computer virus you've caught.. zooble is similar.. can you blame them? No one likes getting sick <\3

Pomni is in between, keeping her distance since shes not sure if what you have is contagious, but as a friend she wants to make sure you're okay.. tough calls here..

Overall, the experience itself sucks... the glitching leaves you sore and sometimes you sit still and "buffer" for extended periods of time.. it also feels like a flu, with the body aches and fatigue and all that...

[madschiavelique]

𝐆𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐨𝐧!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐌𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐀𝐔

This au was first talked about on 04/11/2023 with my amazing bestie @sunflowersandsapphires and I thought it could be cute to share these thoughts !! (I'm gonna post several AUs ideas we had and discussed on throughout the months because DAMN the thoughts are delicious)

please note that english is not my first language and that there might be some little grammar mistakes here and there !

word count : 2,2k

We’re all familiar from up close or far of the myth of Medusa, also known as one of the gorgons. People often tend to forget that there were 3 gorgons on this myth : Medusa (of course), but also her sisters Euryale and Stheno. 

To give you a bit of a refresh on the myth of Medusa – just from memories okay, the versions of each myth vary in mythology and this is the one i remember best – she was in love with Poseidon and the god decided at one point to bring her to one of Athena’s temples so that they could make love there, her two sisters helping her getting in. 

The two lovers were taken during the act by Athena herself who cursed the 3 women by making them gorgons, creatures with snake hair (and body too I believe) that could turn to stone anyone that made the mistake of looking at them in the eyes.

So my mind went like “huh, wait a minute you’d have to be able to see to actually turn to stone right ? So what would happen if-” and it all clicked.

I think somehow Athena’s magic on the gorgons would make them prone to often get reached by men that are ill-intended. So who knows, what if reader is one of the gorgon sisters, hum ? 

What if men in the past have tried to come and attack you, what if men in the past successfully killed your two sisters and that you’re now all alone ? What if you lost faith in the possibility of anyone being nice to you, or of anyone not considering you as the monster that you are ?

You lived bitterly, secluded in an area people never walked by in fear of getting attacked by you. You're just so used to people coming to you with the intention of killing you that you expect everything to be a threat. You know better than to be afraid, your powers serve you well enough that you don't have to live in fear.

Until one day, Matt gets lost. He’s never passed through that area before, and the surroundings are so different to his sensitivity. There’s a certain presence, an aura that makes his senses blurry as he walks hesitantly.

Of course, you notice his presence. You’re used to living underground, and the vibrations his footsteps and his stick send through the earth are enough for you to come to the surface. You get out, ready to fight, ready to stare, ready to kill.

He hears you, turning around and simply asking “Hello ?”

But ironically, you’re the one to freeze this time : he is looking in the void, and the usual signs of petrification are not lining up on his body. You frown, and the gut wrenching feeling of fear takes you as much as the weight lifting sensation of relief.

Maybe your powers aren’t working anymore, maybe this is your last moments of torment, maybe you will join your sisters in Hell, maybe you’ll die and get humiliated once more. 

But maybe you’re finally free from your curse, maybe only the snakes remain on your head but you can’t turn anyone to statues anymore : maybe you can finally get out of this situation where you’re all alone.

You just want to make sure though, so you step forward a bit, not entirely in case he tries to attack you by surprise, and ask “Why have you come here ?”

He tilts his head towards the sound of your voice, a curious gleam passing his eyes as his eyes won’t settle on you.

“I’m lost.” he answers.

Now you scoff, thinking it’s another trick to make you fall. You’ve had wise men trying to kill you in the past, using their wits to trap you in enigmas or other stupidities that would bring your downfall. 

“I don’t fall for tricks and traps,” you say as you step closer to him.

He doesn’t seem to step back, nor does he seem afraid, not in the slightest. You tilt your head a bit until your eyes bore into his, making sure your gaze is aligned with his own.

He frowns, tilting his own head to the side, “Tricks and traps ?”

Your eyes go wide and your shoulders fall as the realisation hits you : he’s blind.

The fear dissipates, but gives its place to disappointment. Of course your curse is not lifted, of course the possibility of you going back to a semi-normal life is purely impossible. You step back, looking at him as if discovering him for a second time.

“You’re not here to kill me ?” you question as you cross your arms over your chest.

He’s the one to scoff now, placing both of his hands on his stick.

“Kill you ? Why would I do such a thing ?”

There’s genuine confusion in his tone, but you’re not ready to let your guard down about all of this.

“Don’t play ignorant, you know why.”

“I assure you I don’t.” he answers. 

Now you’re both confused.

You are mostly because it’s the first time your powers don’t act on someone, as well as the first time someone isn’t here to kill you nor is aware of your existence.

As for him, he’d just arrived here because he had lost his way, and now here he was in front of a woman that was claiming he was here to kill her. So who could she be that people came so often here with that purpose only ? 

There was something different about you, your smell indicated a strong presence of wet stone, but of something much different. Something that smelled like warm sand, like diluted metal, like scales of snakes. He wondered if perhaps you had one on you, or if the area had plenty of them he had to beware of.

You couldn’t tell if he knew of the legends, for who knows : maybe your sister’s tale had gone forgotten. If he was aware of your story however, he looked like someone pretty calm about it, which made the word ‘unusual’ turn into a euphemism for your situation.

“You’re simply lost ?” you end up interrogating.

“I never used this passageway before,” he conceded, “I wanted to use it as a shortcut, but I’ve never gone this far away from the places I know by heart.”

You continued looking at him. He was well built, enough that his physique could be considered as one of the many heroes that had tried harming you. Yet the more you looked at him, the less the thought of him being here to cause you pain and kill you faded. He only had a bag, and his walking stick. 

Your silence perplexed him.

“Why would people want to kill you ?” he asked again, pulling you back from your reverie.

The question made you feel weird, because it seemed like such an evidence to you that seeing an alternative to this interrogation seemed impossible on the spot. Why would they not want to kill you ? They had plenty of reasons anyway.

“Doesn’t matter,” you answered on the spot as this being somehow the only thing your could provide as an answer.

“I think it does,” he interjected, and your parted your lips.

In all these years of being a gorgon, never had your had much of a conversation like so. He surely didn’t care about your life, and maybe was this another ruse to lure you in and make you easier to kill.

Guessing how answering these questions wasn’t one of your fortes, he sighed.

“Could you help me find my way back, please ?”

You’re hesitant on the case of his demand. Every man before him had wronged you, had turned against you to try and bring some glory to their pathetically short lives while you remained eternal and undefeated. 

What if it was another trick by Athena ? What if this was her final resort to bring glory to humans ?

And in any case, men had taken away your sisters, how could you not be angry at them and not wish to help them ? 

But this one… He seemed kind, disinterested in any kind of glory in any shape or form, just a blind man lost in your woods.

Not daring to be closer to him or even touching him in case this could ease your way into death, you grabbed the foot of his stick and rose back up.

“Hold on to it,” you mumbled as you started walking towards the next path.

You turned a second to him, a grin plastered on his face. Not a vicious one, to your relief, but a grateful smile.

“Why’s a lady like you all by herself on this desertic passage ?” he questioned, walking at your pace as he tried to make sure by waving his arm in front of him that he wouldn’t be hitting anything.

You weren’t here to make friends with men, but you hadn’t talked to anyone in a while. The sight of him having so much trouble directing himself because of your gauche handling of his stick sent you a wave of pity. You dropped the wood, and he stopped, surprised.

“Already there ?” he asked in surprise.

But you came to him, taking his hand and have it circle your arm so that he could still use his stick.

“Thank you,” he softly smiled as you both started walking again, your mind trying to chase away the way his arm against yours felt. “So, why are you all alone in here ?”

“Because bad men chased me until there was no place other than there for me to live,” which wasn’t far off the mark.

“Exiled ?” he interrogated.

“Feared.” you breathed.

“How could you be feared ?” the question rang wrong to him.

“How could I not,” you almost laugh as your free hand comes to caress the neck of a snake.

“I don’t find you terrifying,” his lips came to form an inverted smile as he rose his eyebrows.

“It’s because you are safe from my unwanted danger.” 

“Am I holding the hand of the most dangerous person to ever be ?” he laughed, the lack of seriousness in his tone making the situation all the more ironic for you.

“You just might,” you answered, a bit less tense than you were seconds ago.

“Well, it pleases me,” he admitted and you stiffened.

Trying to play it cool and not get nervous that this could be your last conversation ever, you asked : 

“To be in danger ?”

His head turned to yours, his gaze still lost somewhere you could never be in.

“To be in good company.”

Your walk with him came to an end, and Matt had by now remembered the way to get to the path. He wished you goodbyes, and you came back to your cave thinking how much of a strange situation it had been. 

He hadn’t tried to kill you on the way, but maybe had an acolyte of some sort of his placed a trap in your cave. You meticulously made your way back to your place, but nothing different was to be found.

What an odd encounter.

And thus he came a second time to you.

“I’ve lost my way again,” he had explained.

“Have you got the memory of a goldfish ?”

But nevertheless, you had accompanied him back again, and had chatted again, and waved goodbyes again.

But still, he kept getting lost, and kept coming back to you for your guidance. 

You had the full conviction by now that he had the worst sense of orientation a man could have ever gotten.

And he had the full conviction that you were not a monster, so he pretended to not know his way although he now knew it by heart just to have an excuse to meet you again and talk to you.

“Seems like I really can’t remember my way anymore.”

“Matt, you always come to me with the exact same path, you know that right-”

“Really can’t remember it anymore, such a shame, looks like you’ll once again have to accompany me.

“It’s the second time you’ve come to see me today.”

Of course he tries to play it off and placing this on his atrocious sense of orientation, but there are some moments where he accidentally lets the cover slip.

“It’s near a huge rock.” you explain again.

“You mean the one shaped like a heart that is about 300 steps from here ?”

“Yes exact- wait a minute, if you know the placement so well, how come you always get lost ?”

“...”

“...?”

“Amnesia has taken me, what were we talking about ?”

“Matt you’ve gotten ‘amnesia’ three times this week. You need to speak to someone about that.

“You shouldn’t worry. Actually I feel like I have most of my sense in your presence lately, your company cures me of my own obliviousness-” he says as he trips over a rock immediately.

And you’re quite oblivious to this, but also the more you understand about this, the least do you complain about it. 

Maybe loneliness started slipping away from you after all.

(I could continue on this au but I have WAY too many others in mind that I want to put out there !!! I'd love to see any of the thoughts you'd have on this au besties <33)

[antimony-medusa]

Alright, one last post about this for the road.

Do you like Fandom Exchanges? Do you like Hurt/Comfort? Do you like MCYT? Are you 18? Is this too many questions?

WELCOME TO THIS POST ABOUT THE HURT/COMFORT EXCHANGE. PULL UP A CHAIR.

This, as I just learned earlier this month, is a massive multi-fandom exchange on the theme of hurt/comfort. It's open to both artists and writers, and the expecations is a fic of at least 1000 words, or a piece of artwork that is not on lined paper and is at minimum clean linework that is at least 500x500 pixels. And you have from 16 March to 13 May to work on your gift so like, thousands of time. So easy. You can do that in a weekend, right? So achievable.

Some details: this is a massive multifandom exchange, so like, NSFW is allowed, and that means you have to be 18 to sign up. Also as it's a massive multifandom exchange, the mods are not policing what shows up in the tag set (there are literally 620 fandoms listed, can you imagine policing that, no,) so you almost definitely will see stuff in the tag set that makes you go "huh," but that's when you get to go "boy people sure like some stuff", and then you move on and go on to the stuff you're actually writing.

Tag Set?

Glad you asked. Okay so big Ao3 exchanges normally work off a Tag Set. They run a preliminary section where people can submit relationships and characters etc to a massive list, and then once it comes to actual sign-up time, you are only able to select stuff that is in the tag set for your offers and requests. So nomination period (where we're in right now), is important if you want to join an exchange, cause it lets you make sure that the relationships you actually want to offer, and then write/draw, are available to you.

[ID: An image of what the tag set looks like right now, open to the RPF section which contains SMPs— Empires, Origins, 3rd Life, Dream SMP, Hermitcraft, and SMPEarth.]

Tell me more about those tags?

Okay so, a general exchange works by allowing people to Offer and Request what fandoms and characters they want to write, and then the algorithm matches people's Offers to Requests, so that that person who Requested TMNT art is matched with someone who Offered that yes, they want to draw the turtles.

Within this specific exchange, they go a bit more granular. You both specify the relationship, and because this is a Hurt/Comfort exchange, you specify who exactly is getting hurt.

[ID: photo of the tags set, showing Philza & Technoblade & Tommyinnit & Wilbur Soot (hurt tommyinnit). ]

I know the dash loves hurting tommy, I've seen your exchange sign ups. I nominated that tag for you all. Never say I don't do things for you.

I didn't even think about empires, but someone already put flower husbands in the tag set, here's your chance to whump Scott.

[ID: photo of the Empires SMP tags, showing fWhip & Jimmy Solidarity (hurt Jimmy), Scott Smajor & Jimmy Solidarity (hurt Scott), Scott Smajor/Jimmy Solidarity (hurt Scott)]

And then because this is a FREEFORM exchange, you specify what freeform you want, which is your actual prompt for the fic/art you want. Some examples of the freeforms.

[ID: freeform tags reading: Comfort via food or cooking, Comforted by an animal, Doctor A has to talk B through operating on A, Hugging a person who isn't used to recieving hugs, Human experimentation, Hurt A is too tired/ill to move; calls B to take them home, Retainer lovingly cared for by liege, Reunion after character who was presumed dead returns.]

There are so many freeforms. (Note that the "this is an 18+ exchange" and "this is a dl:dr exchange" rules apply, some of the freeforms are about major archive warnings.)

Yes yes, I know exchanges, why are you telling me this.

Okay so, I'm doing the exchange, and I really want to match on MCYT, so I'm trying to lure as many people as possible to join me. Come on you want to join me so bad. There's 3rd Life AND Empires AND Dream SMP AND Hermitcraft AND SMPEarth in the tag set.

Yes but why are you telling me NOW?

Ah, because the tag nominations closes tomorrow, the 24th, so if you want to get a tag into the tag set— as I type this Scarian isn't into the tag set, so, y'know— your chance is to GO GO GO NOW HERE IS THE LIST TO THE TAG SET CHECK OUT WHAT IS THERE AND NOMINATE YOUR BLORBOS.

https://archiveofourown.org/tag_sets/14131

Whew. Long post. Enjoy your dash I hope you're having a good day.

[charbles]

I’m actually pretty curious about more of the glam rock animatronics, we already know sun and moon exist, but I’m more curious about the others (I don’t know if you’ve covered any of them other than the fact Monty can swim because there is so much for the fazbear Funland AU I’m not even joking

OH SHIT!! SORRY ANON! i might go through and add a tag for just Info on the Funland au, ill post a poll on it maybe, just to get general opinion :]]

I have 3 of the Glamrocks! lets delve into that shall we?

Glamrock Chica!

Glamrock Chica is generally very friendly, shes VERY passionate about playing the guitar! She tries to encourage kids to play and be active together! Chica will actively seek out children who are alone and play with them after confirming that they are infact not lost! However If they are lost, Chica will attempt to carefully guide the child to the nearest security station or keep them company until their parents come back!

she is optimistic about everything and treats everything with GREAT enthusiasm, all around, shes a sweetheart! She tries to listen to everyone around her and is all around very polite, however this can be misread as blind trust and naivety which is not at all the case, Chica isnt stupid, she just tries her best to keep everyone happy, no one likes not being listened to.

her ability to eat directly comes from Fazbear entertainment trying to get an easier way of getting rid of trash left over by party goers! however she has a bad habit of not being able to tell whats already IN the trash, whats on the tables for the current guests and what ACTUALLY needs to be picked up! which is why she tears into trash wherever she goes, she has to have a handler with her at all times to prevent her from stealing food from guests, and from eating trash during the parties!

i will say i was SO EXCITED TO SEE THE TRASHBAG FALL OUT OF HER DURING RUIN, THAT WAS SUCH A NEAT CONFIRMATION FOR ME, PERSONAL CHARLIE WIN

Monty Gator..

Monty is a special case of glamrock, he's quite abrasiveness and cocky, but very easy to excite and amp others up, often times picking them up or getting excessively loud with his support! except freddy

Monty has a habit of trying to outshine Freddy, which causes some friction in the band, This is purely because Monty used to be a solo show, therefore is used to being the star and center stage. This doesnt necessarily mean hes mean to his other band members though! just freddy.

Monty notoriously has an attitude problem towards staff as well, not liking to be told what to do and often skipping shows purely because he doesnt want to be bossed around.

Monty has the unique ability to enter water bodies in the the pizzaplex and other areas in the amusement park! but ontop of that, he can spray mist or just straight up water out of his nose, he uses this to mess with people more often than not

And last but not least we have

huh... thats weird, seems like a data error.

theres nobody here :]

[domain-of-sentience]

ch 39 ramblings (+ HoS analysis)

wow this was the greatest arc of all time huh

(due to length, this post will mainly be a HoS analysis but ill start off with summarizing my feelings about the chapter/arc as a whole)

Summary

in my prior posts i've already mentioned how these chapters had it all: good premise, good cast and character development, actual stakes, immersive and gut-wrenching scenes, the list goes on. lately i've seen people express concerns over Sa and how she compares to the likes of other antagonists like otto but honestly...

i care more about the chess pieces than the ones controlling them

i fucking love seeing characters struggle in the face of adversity. in some of the previous arcs, it felt like the protagonists would always find a way to be one step ahead. but whenever the salt snow cast tried to do the same, they'd end up spraining that metaphorical foot or be pushed many steps back... or just die onscreen 🙈 even if there wasn't true death, there were still lasting consequences

the spectacle was off the charts too. so many scenes were rendered with love and care that sprinkled additional life to these characters, many of whom had lofty dreams that were to end in a whimper than a bang.

and don't get me started on the elden ring ass boss fight and that tense platforming sequence. despite knowing that things were going to be ok somehow, i was able to suspend that thought and immerse myself in what truly felt like despair and isolation

Senti Thoughts (Unceasing)

she had plenty of memorable moments overall. at first i thought the writers were going Too hard on her haughty side, so much so that people were picking on her over it and even the fucking narrator had to jump in

(then i found out this was vita, sorry vita but you're on my list now)

i mean this is the same herrscher who made so many reasonable deductions in the previous chapter. the second time she met kevin she immediately surrendered knowing that she couldn't win. if this Sa was the quantum counterpart to the cocoon of finality then hos would certainly be more cautious, right?

but i think she was fairly confident in two things: the relative power level of Sa and her own natural adaptability to situations, such as the way she cleverly hid herself from Sa's omniscience:

this wasn't Finality that she was contending with, but a fellow rival in the domain of consciousness

Comparison to Vita

she and vita are alike in many ways: their clairvoyance, their eyes, their bird imagery, their selfishness, their love for freedom, their disdain for boredom, their interest in companionship, their struggles with free will, and even this weird tidbit:

i think the only remarkable difference they had was senti's activeness to vita's passiveness

tho, despite their similarities they don't have interesting interactions outside of the mindspace (WHICH BTW always fills me with nostalgia whenever they play that hos bgm)

Freedom, Mind and Body

freedom is one of the core themes of this arc (like, they really beat you in the head over it), but it's an extremely consistent trait for senti's character.

she is not a materialistic person; she would rather simulate the taste of tea in her mind than to experience it for herself. despite being a free spirit, she still has a Restraint that manifests as a mental shackle: an influence from memories that do not belong to her, which still affects her to this day. so who can blame her for always chasing freedom?

but the most interesting thing is this:

it would explain why she could taste the moonrock a long while ago when she didn't know it was rock salt. although, i guess it's largely unnecessary since she can just influence people's consciousness to look however she wants. but y'know, chekhov's gun and all....

also, the 72 transformations is another journey to the west reference!

The Status Quo

did you know senti is a character who hates stagnancy, but is stagnant herself?

she admitted to being stir-crazy in times of relative peace after the great eruption, she was seen pacing around in the country of iron sand while she couldn't do anything else, she'd rather beat up the problem head-on than to brew up a solution. indeed, she is a very active herrscher who likes to mire herself in chaos for the fun of it

ironically she gives away so much Therapy Guidance but she never addresses her own underlying issues, such as her wish for people to genuinely care about her. you can't fight that problem away, so she'd rather ignore it.

she couldn't even give that new body a real chance because it would unravel everything about her. she can't leave her comfort zone at all. even her fighting tactics haven't changed a bit (thanks mhy)

to use an analogy: she is like water. water is versatile and can easily turn into vapor or ice, just as how senti is adaptable and can literally change her physical state. but no matter what form water takes on, it is still molecular water in the end, just as how senti will always be senti

but what happens if water undergoes a chemical reaction and irreversibly changes?

even pseudo-death freaked her out. can you imagine what would happen if her authority diminished completely, or if she was restrained in a corporeal body, or if she was locked up with fuhua in a room forever-

Sentihua Crumbs

you can leave this post now if this isn't your thing

hmmmmmmm

hmmmmmmmmmmm also senti isn't beating the absent father allegations

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

the funny thing is that this arc was so fucking good that i want to go into the next one with ZERO expectations. like i'm not really sure if they can keep this momentum up and so far all of fuhua's appearances since the end of the taixuan arc were.... lackluster at best

but here's to hoping that fuhua and senti have genuinely meaningful interactions that can at least hold a candle to what the seeles got

[honestlydarkprincess]

fic stats meme! 💌

rules: give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

tagged by @loserdiaz, @hippolotamus

this isn't completely accurate because i forgot to do flat view so this is only for the stats of my 911 fics

most hits

christopher diaz has two fathers and no one can tell him otherwise

Christopher just wanted to make a Father's Day card for his Buck. He doesn't understand why Ms. Flores is being so mean!

second most kudos

we're gonna be okay, kid

The last thing Buck is expecting is to be woken up from his ill advised mid-morning nap with a call from Christopher's school, telling him that Chris is sick and should go home. He can't leave his favourite kid to fend for himself so even though Eddie might get mad at him, again, he's on his way to pick up Chris before he can even think about it.

third most comments

with you is where i wanna be (take me home)

“C’mon, Buck. Let’s go.” Eddie said, coming up behind him and clapping him on the back. 

Buck cracked one eye open and turned to look at his best friend. “Huh?” 

“You’re coming home with me,” Eddie replied, not even looking at Buck as he opened his own locker and started pulling out things to shove into his duffle bag. “You have spare clothes and everything else you need to spend the night already at the house. I’ll bring you back here tomorrow so you can get your car.” 

Buck hummed in answer, too tired to come up with words for a proper reply. 

Or, the one in which Buck is too exhausted to drive himself home so Eddie takes him back to his place. Includes Buckley-Diaz family fluff, pining, and sleepy cuddles.

fourth most bookmarks

yours and mine equals ours

At the 118's annual Fourth of July BBQ, Ana is supposed to be keeping an eye on Christopher while Eddie grabs them some food; however her attention is on the fact that Eddie doesn't trust her the way he trusts Buck. With her preoccupied, she doesn't notice Christopher losing his balance until it's too late. Christopher has a little fall and Eddie has some realizations.

fifth most words

i'll take the road that leads me back to you

Post-Lawsuit AU. 

Buck's finally back with his family but nothing is the same. The people he considered his family could barely look at him, the man he'd fallen in love with was ignoring him and dating some teacher. 

He decides he needs some time away, maybe some space will finally let them all heal. Will he come back? Will the 118 be able to finally move on and forgive each other?

fic with the least words

to be okay

Every morning is the same. Buck wakes up, and doesn’t fully breathe until his phone is in his hand and the message thread with Bobby is open. After Bobby has replied and Buck can breathe again knowing that Bobby is okay, he texts Eddie and Christopher.

tagging: @bigfootsmom, @lovebuck, @monsterrae1, @housewifebuck, @madneyporchengagement, @theyarnmaidstale, @barbiebuckley-han, @barbiediaz, @diazblunt, @transbuck, @wikiangela, @princessfbi, @911onabc, and @alyxmastershipper

[arcaneyouth]

related to that last post but i am not putting it in ops notes, like. ok so everyone has a timer ticking down to the death. uh huh. thats great. yeah the horror of meeting someone and knowing they'll die some day and weighing the options you'll have with that time. yeah ok. i am going to lose it a little bit tho because what about yourself. do you even know how to mourn yourself. in a world filled with grief do you not get tired of it. from strangers. from people leaving you because you don't have much longer. don't you get sick of not being allowed to talk about your timer because no one wants to acknowledge you're going to die. so you sit with your grief by yourself as they are taking your life away because you are going to die so there's no point in Living with you. what if one day you decided to live anyways. you are going to die. you are happy. you know you do not have time and its ok because you are doing what you love. what about the acceptance. do you accept it.

shit like this just kind of infuriates me. no one *ever* wants to talk from the point of view of someone who is going to die soon. these concepts and writing prompts almost always revolve around the idea that you're normal. yeah everyone has timers over their head ticking down to their death, isnt that fucked up? isn't it fucked that you know when someone else will die? we dont have to talk about when you will die. or isn't it fucked we all know exactly how everyone else will die? we dont need to talk about how you will die, it's the grief of looking at someone else and knowing they're going to die.

we all know the trope of a wife dying just for her husband to be sad is very bad and shitty. this is framed as a feminist issue. it is, and also, it's a disability issue. because even if its the man dying for the woman, even if you change up the genders or make it anything besides what it is, its always an outside perspective. its always the healthy mourning the sick. even fucking when the pov is from the person who is dying i rarely see anything that isnt focused on the other people around them. we are not allowed! to mourn ourselves!!!! because we're always a tragedy for someone else!!!!! that's all we fucking are!!!!!!!!

this shit pisses me off so much because these kinds of stories almost always assume that the reader is healthy. the reader is normal. its like... maybe this is a bad comparison, but this is like the male gaze. the abled gaze. we are always framed in stories from the perspective of someone who is healthy and fine. the story just assumes the viewer is like them. these stories aren't for us. they're never for us.

"wouldn't it be fucked up if someone had a timer over their head counting down to their death" wow that would be fucked up! hey have you ever talked to a terminally ill person just wondering. just wanna make sure you are aware this exists in real life with real people. wanna make sure you know that before you write about how tragic it is that theres a person thats dying that isn't you why would it be you. anyways,

[deliciouskeys]

Kink of your choice: people of diametrically opposing ideologies having a tense conversation but not killing each other

#Lockhimup

Warnings: Gen. And just kidding, this isn't really for Kinktober. It's even more self-indulgent than that. Set shortly post S3. It's not a pairing fic. It's Homelander; Billy Butcher. Dedicated to the 1.3 people other than me who might possibly enjoy this. AO3 link.

After the hospital, Butcher's been staying at home to recover from his nausea and illness. His brain might not be getting better, but his body was slowly recovering-- not throwing up nearly as often anymore, and able to get food down and walk around more or less steadily.

But his brain was definitely deteriorating. He was having very vivid dreams, and auditory and visual hallucinations were cropping up more and more often. Maybe this is the reason he didn't rush over to the balcony when he saw Homelander out there. He figured he must be seeing things again until the cunt approached the glass and tapped on it gently before stepping back and putting his arms behind his body, waiting patiently for Butcher to unlatch it.

Butcher sighs heavily and opens the glass door, but doesn't bother to come out or officially beckon him in. He sits down in the chair, just in case he starts feeling sick and woozy again. He's already feeling lightheaded from the unpleasant surprise. Homelander makes his way in, thoughtfully closing the door behind him.

“What brings you here this time. You’ve already got Ryan. Come to finish me off?”

Homelander frowns. “Why are you so obsessed with this idea that I’d come here, uninvited, and kill you in your usual pathetic mudperson state? And sick with some kind of pathetic chronic illness on top of that." Homelander wrinkles his nose. He can probably see the damage through Butcher's skull, or maybe his nose is actually detecting the scent of his illness. "Have you ever seen me stalk and kill someone?”

“I haven’t seen you, but I’m sure you have. You had no problem trying to kill Hughie down in the tunnels.”

“That was–” Homelander rolls his eyes and waves his hand dismissively. “Hugh Campbell’s a non-entity to me. And you were all fugitives from the law at the time. So yes, I have pursued and killed lawbreakers.”

“And I happen not to be one at this moment? Didn’t know you were such a stickler for the law.” Butcher lights a cigarette, hoping it will annoy Homelander. “You still haven’t answered my question. To what do I owe the pleasure of this divine visitation?”

Homelander makes that strange snuffling sound that Butcher recognizes by now as pure unadulterated frustration. He makes a movement to pull out the chair where he sat last time, but Butcher hooks his foot and pulls it in tight against the table.

“Really?” Homelander looks at him impassively. “You let me sit down last time.”

“Last time you were trying to find Ryan. You have him. So I don’t see what you need here if you ain’t gonna blast me in the head.”

“Feels bad, huh? Well now you know how it feels, to have your child out of reach,” Homelander says, and shoves a bunch of Butcher’s kitchen paraphernalia further down the counter and makes room for himself to float up and sit on it, first moving the cape out of the way as always. Butcher hopes his counter is dirty and this cunt gets stains on his ass for doing this. “No, I’m just sick of Vought trying to manage this ‘crisis’ for me.”

“You mean you killing a bloke in plain daylight on camera? That 'crisis'?”

“Yes, if that’s how you want to describe it, yes.”

“That’s what happened, it’s not some subjective description.”

Homelander’s jaw tightens and grinds for a moment before he speaks. “Yeah. I’m alright with that. What I’m not alright with is doing an apology tour and saying it was inadvertent or whatever the fuck Vought wants me to say to “soften the angle”. They’re idiots if they think either side is going to buy that. The people who like me don’t want to hear me tying myself into knots trying to explain away what I did. And the toxic idiots who hate me aren’t going to suddenly change their minds if I say ‘hey I’m so sorry! I totally didn’t mean to kill that child-attacking shitstain! I don’t have any fucking control over my lasers! Please don’t hate me!’ I mean if- if that were the case, then I should be fucking locked up, because I’d be a menace to society. If I have that little control over my powers.”

Homelander pauses in his tirade. It grew louder in volume and faster in delivery as it went. Butcher has to admit it’s fun to see this cunt lose his mind with anger, when he’s always been curated to look forever happy and imperturbable. Although the mask has been slipping more often of late.

“You are a menace to society. But yeah, not so much into locking you up. I’d be much more at peace seeing your head on a pike.”

Homelander chuckles. “And you call me needlessly violent."

"Vought's probably thinking ahead about the lawsuit, and not your popularity. Maybe you should listen to your handlers."

"I don't have handlers, I have idiotic underlings. And you're talking as if popularity with the public has nothing to do with how a lawsuit will pan out. From where I'm standing, it's better to have a group of strong supporters than a mass of people confused by some milquetoast, apologetic statements from me. But you know what? Fine. I’m used to the fickle idiot public, with their fucking short-term memory, not remembering everything I've done for them, and still doing for them. They can hate me, their loss. But you see the shit trending today? It's not just #lockhimup. It's #ASAB and #FuckVought and #CompoundViolent, and even the ever-lovely #KillAllSupes cropping up periodically. That's why Vought wants me to backtrack. As if that will do anything to stop those kinds of hasthtags.”

“Don’t know why you’re whinging to me about it. I’d be retweeting all of that if I had an account.” Butcher gets up off his chair and walks past Homelander to fill his teakettle with water, because this is turning out to be a longer conversation than he expected. He still doesn't turn on the light in the kitchen, only one lone lamp on in his entire apartment in an effort to avoid any migraines. Homelander just swivels himself around to face Butcher in his new spot.

“You know what’s better about you than those mindless parrot drones all over social media? At least you say what you mean to say. You really want to kill us all apparently. That apply to Ryan by the way?”

“He’s a child, so no.”

“But when he turns eighteen? Or whatever the fuck age you British people consider majority? Then he’s fair game?”

Butcher feels his irritation rising. “He’s Becca’s son, so no, I’m not gonna lay a finger on him.”

“Other supes are people’s sons and daughters too, but that doesn’t seem to deter you.”

“Hell no it doesn’t. Sons and daughters of people who doped up their kids with Compound V to try to make a buck or get some glory? Off the parents too, if you ask me.”

“Ah interesting! So you do think the people who made the choices are worse than the people who had none.”

“Every one of you supes has plenty of choices.”

“At what age would you kill someone like me?” 

Butcher sighs. Vogelbaum’s words flash in his memory. He asked about what Homelander was like in childhood because he wanted to know if Ryan was genetically doomed to be an evil cunt. Homelander probably doesn’t realize Butcher knows about his sordid lab-confined childhood. He’s throwing this question out flippantly. Butcher thinks about making some stinging remark to show just how much he knows. But that will only lead to him having to acknowledge that he wouldn't have killed off an innocent baby labrat. Butcher also thinks about not answering at all, but Homelander is sitting there silently, ugly red boots dangling above the floor, raising his eyebrows to show he’s expecting an actual response to his stupid question. 

“At whatever age you were when you decided to rape my Becca.”

“So… this is purely personal then?”

“Of course it’s fucking personal,” Butcher mutters, not liking how much this cunt is forcing him to think this late at night. “What else could it be, at this point?”

“Wanting to kill off a whole big group of people over a personal matter seems kind of petty to me.”

“You’re not people. You don’t treat us like equals, so we don’t need to treat you like equals either.”

“So normal human morality doesn’t apply.” Homelander grins. “That’s what I like about you, William. You stand by your words, no matter how vile they are. When you say ‘supe genocide’, at least you really mean it.”

Homelander peers at him, looking unimpressed. "Your brain looks like Swiss cheese and you still make more sense than everyone else I'm forced to talk to. But I do wonder: you're kind of an honorary supe now. Certainly spent some time in our shoes. Do you deserve death too?"

"I'll take an honorary suicide once you're all gone, if you want me to be consistent."

Homelander smirks. The kettle starts whistling, and Butcher takes the opportunity to avoid saying anything else and focusing on steeping a cup of tea.

“Can I have a cup?”

Butcher seethes inside. Get your ass off my counter, get your shiteating grin out of my house. But he proceeds to just brew another cup, because it’s easier than having this conversation. His degenerating brain can't take much more of this.

They wait for the tea to steep in silence. Welcome as it seemed at first, Butcher finds himself wanting to break the silence because when Homelander’s not talking, and Butcher stares at him in the darkness of the apartment, teeth shinier than the rest of his face, he starts to seem increasingly otherworldly, scarier, like there really is a different species perched on the kitchen counter, and Butcher starts to feel his fight-or-flight response kicking in. “Didn’t take you for a tea drinker,” he says, as he hands him the cup. At least his hands are rock-steady, and his tone sounds nonchalant as ever.

“I’m not. But I wanted to see what all the hype is about, at least in the UK. You guys are obsessed.”

“‘You guys’ were too until you got radicalized and decided you didn’t want to pay taxes on it.”

Homelander’s smile just grows wider. “That’s true.” He sips and makes a face. “Wow, that’s… strong. That’s almost as bad as coffee.”

“You really never had tea before?” Butcher can’t help but ask, incredulous at the reaction.

“I don’t think so. This tastes like bitter puddle water or something.”

“No one’s forcing you to drink it, cunt.”

Homelander takes another sip anyway, making a face again, actually shuddering. “Don’t people add milk to it? And sugar? Am I making that up?”

“You can,” Butcher says, shrugging. Then notices Homelander glancing at his fridge to verify there's milk inside and looking back at him expectantly. “Unbelievable. Alright you little candy-ass, would you like some milk and sugar with your unbearably bitter tea?”

“I would,” Homelander answers, disregarding the insult, holding the cup out in front of him expecting to be served.

Butcher takes it from him, in disbelief at what he’s doing, but again, it feels futile to refuse or argue. He dumps in more milk than he ever would for himself. Maybe this git wants a lukewarm, tasteless cuppa.

When Homelander drinks the modified version, he nods. “Much better, actually. Thanks.”

“Why did you come here, really,” Butcher asks as he finally gets to drink his tea, leaning back against the counter across from the one Homelander is perched on.

“No ulterior motive. Needed to vent. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills when I’m in the Tower and they keep telling me I need to appease the other side. Talking to you cements it for me. People who hate me aren’t going to come around. People who’ve decided to blanket-hate all supes won’t come around.”

“So you done? Feel better now?”

“I do, actually. Thanks for the company.” Homelander smiles, puts down his cup of bastardized tea, not having the courtesy to finish it off, hops down off the counter and walks off towards the balcony to take off with an obnoxious force that Butcher's glad didn't crack the balcony cement at push-off.

He stares at the skyline visible from his apartment. He hates a thought that has been creeping in during the conversation, and now that the supe is gone, he can contemplate it fully. For what it’s worth, he might have done the same exact thing. He knows what having heat lasers is like. How easy it is to power them up. If someone threw something at Becca, or, yes maybe even just Becca’s son, he might have done the same exact stupid thing and sliced the man's head. Why on earth is he thinking about that? Maybe it’s his strange irritation at the public finally, finally after so many fucking years, finally noticing that there is something fucked up about Vought. He should be happy that some people finally see the truth. But it feels like too little too late, and it also feels like they might get distracted off of it. They don't really understand how far it goes. Vought wouldn’t exist without the money these crowds of people have paid them. It’s not funded by the government. It’s not beholden to anyone but American public opinion. The very people tweeting angrily about Homelander’s public murder are still subscribed to Vought+, and still using Vought-owned social media to complain about it. This monstrosity grown in the lab was grown for them. For their protection, at least internationally speaking, and most importantly for their entertainment and cult-seeking mentality. Homelander is the hero they voted for with their dollars, and they’ve maybe only just wised up to the fact that what they’ve been paying for is a mentally unstable killing machine.

[warmpilsner]

i dont feel Great about sadposting on tumblr particularly when im not really on here much for much else but i dunno man theres that growing up a sad lonely teen on the internet itch that only angsting away on social media can fill. so im giving myself one (1) post because i feel that the state of my me is just plummeting so hard its a little scary. im safe and all im good at keeping myself safe but otherwise ive just fallen back to a point of anxiety agitation dread constant urgency constant restless energy intrusive thoughts to hell and back deeply deeply fragile which is not good at all when i work as a THERAPIST!!!! if i didnt have this holiday coming up i would really be having to consider taking extended sick leave bc i am finding it so hard rn to do therapy im getting triggered by stuff my clients bring to sessions, like not in session in session im totally fine but then later that night or whatever im finding myself experiencing things i havent experienced for years and im like huh wheres that coming from before remembering a client was speaking about it earlier. they warn you about this in therapy school but until now ive been solid enough to cope, like its obviously difficult working w people who experience [fill in the blank of whatever self destructive behaviour thought pattern whatever which i have in some cases very tenuously recovered from] but until now i have been able to stay grounded enough to empathise, draw from my own experiences to do so, but ultimately leave that in the therapy room when i go home. but now im like ouuufhhhhhh oughhhhh and i just feel so awful all the time like my resting heart rate has gone crazy which tbf might be the new adhd meds but man theres just so much shit going on. every time i get a text from literally anyone i want toccry because i feel like they are upset with me or going to ask something from me that i cannot give right now and actually it feels that responding to messages is something i cannot give right now but also im so desperate for connection because i feel so deathly so i am frantically spamming the discord with annoying shit like Hi!!!! Hi!!!!Hi!!!!! everything is so intense and urgent and shaky i feel explosive and out of control i need to MOVE HOUSES i need christmas break i need to lay down and for all of my friends to lay on top of me like a weighted blanket of friendship . we did that on my bday last year like 6 friends i think maybe ill ask for that again on my bday this year it was very calming. breathe breathe breathe baby youre brave you're strong you're doing it youre a bomb ass therapist and your colleagues are gonna love you for bringing them lebkuchen

[terminalisms]

caved so quick to the 2nd muse impulse o mein gott......throwing sejoon into the mix with another minimal stats page + round two of rambly character intros 😵‍💫 if u are interested in plotting just like this post or add me on discord!! (tip.toph) 🥰

tw! mentions of terminal illness, death of a parent

only son to 2 anomalies. plain jane working class background

in a past life, dad is still a top tier hardboiled detective who doesn't gotta think about the fact he has a wife and kid at home

in this one, mom is inconveniently out of the picture for......... [vague gestures] reasons and he has to hunker down into single father life fast. ends up opening a restaurant in order to be able to provide

but in spite of all of this his childhood isn't so bad! he and his dad are close despite obvious stark differences in personality, which can be summed up as naive softie vs cynical hardass. even if sejoon's too trusting ways has dad up at night wondering how the hell is this kid gonna survive on his own

also dad: [does the absolute most to keep him shielded and sheltered cause he's Seen Things and as a parent's bare minimum that means letting a kid being a kid. which means shoving things deep under a rug and the default response to any inkling of curiosity being "Don't worry about it"]

until sejoon's anomaly kicks in at 12-13 by making a patron's chair float on accident and his dad's like k. better late than never......

its a little (ok a lot) hard to coach sejoon through controlling his abilities considering dad's own anomaly is not anything remotely close to moving things w his mind (its memory manipulation btw for some hwang fam #trivia) and sejoon is like ): but this is so cool why shouldnt i wanna show it off......

their deeply anti-anomaly district with equally staunchly anti-anomaly neighbors, friends, politicians being a VERY good reason not to: (:

dad: wear this patch thingie. dont ask why just do what i say

(thank god for nullivi huh like seriously)

doesnt stop the bubble bursting with when people realize ur not "human" they treat u different but ykw.........the sun is still shining and the world is much much bigger than their humble slice of daegu for EVERYONE to be that way

sua's open for admissions just around the time sejoon's thinking about higher ed AND broadening his horizons. gets in on arts scholarship and off he goes

baby bird leaving the nest turns fish out of the water. college and seoul are a bit of an adjustment but exciting all the same. and he does thrive! gets involved in the sporting rallies, really developing his artistic vision, has a social life, and gets to be his #true self among fellow anomalies the whole enchilada

things only really go downhill in the last 6 months of his undergrad with 2 wrecking balls: a devastating breakup and (TW: ILLNESS, DEATH) his dad being diagnosed by stage iv lung cancer

its right after graduation that sejoon immediately falls off the face of the earth for 3 years to be his father's sole caretaker until his death (END OF TW) no one i mean no one knows what he was doing or where he is

but hes back now to do his mfa!! let the bella loca where the hell have u been-isms begin

vibe wise hes bright, social, easy to talk to but can also be kind of spacey eccentric and the ultimate pacifist. the type that makes u feel like u guys are sooo close but then when u reflect ur like actually idk if i really know much about him at all (which!! is not totally intentional he just makes for a better listener and is great at making conversation about what YOU have to say). these days that same can do energy is there but it doesnt feel the same if u look too close but its fine!!! everything is fine

plots that are marginally better than the first time around but not by much:

friends who were blindsided by him going mia without warning

friends who are gracious enough (or equally ??????? avoidant? weird even) to pick up where they left off like nothing happened in the first place

people who dont even know who he is so like none of the above for his sob story doesnt even really matter

this is really really limited to one (1) person but somebody who managed to run into him in the three years that he was laying low

will require extensive plotting but the ex......not necessarily endgame but i am in the mood for some bittersweet woulda shoulda coulda's, angst and answering the penultimate question of: why did we break up?

former teammates? i imagine he was part of house samjoko during undergrad

ur a stranger feeling nosy and ur ultimate mission is figuring out where hes been. he lets u speculate

u need someone to do ur graphics. can be contractual pro bono whatevah.......

im running out of steam here but i am open to it all please hmu

[theflyingfeeling]

☀️ "it's always sunny in Stockholm" ☀️

aka a concert report from Fryshuset Klubben, Stockholm, 1.3.2023

Travelling to our final destination (Stockholm city centre) did not go without hassle (wrong gate at the airport, delays with the commuter train to the city centre, trouble figuring out the venue etc., BC would've been proud!) but everything did work out eventually and we were in good spirits! 🥰

Speaking of the venue, I think none of us would've foreseen that listening to that one song in 2021 would lead us to hang out in the backyard of some random school in Stockholm, but that's where we were, and had good laughs there too :') <3

The venue was small intimate and not full, which to us in the audience was great (it wasn't cramped nor too hot), although for BC's sake I would've hoped there would've been a little bigger turn-up (especially considering at least half of the audience were Finnish fans 😂). They didn't seem to mind though; the show was as 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 as their shows always are

But before I talk about the show, I must once more advertise the support act! Not gonna lie, I had a minor heart attack when hours before the gig, BC posted an IG story starting with the words "due to an illness...", because them cancelling the gig would've been just the cherry on the top of the day we had had already, but it thankfully was Eyes Wide Open that had had to cancel at last minute. A band called Those Without was asked to fill in and boy am I thankful for the universe for this!! 😭🙏 They were so damn good!! I remember listening to their first song and going "huh! this ain't that bad actually" and wondering if it's just that one song, but no, all the other ones they played were great as well, which made me so happy 💖 It was a little funny when the band came on though; they just walked to the stage very unceremoniously and we weren't quite sure whether they were still doing the preperations until they started playing 😂 The singer was cute af, the bassist sang a bit, they were so chill and SO GRATEFUL to be there and just kept thanking BC for this opportunity and us the audience for being so nice to them, and all I wanted to scream was "no, thank YOU!!" because they really made my little punk pop/rock heart burst with love 🥺 If you're into early Mayday Parade / The Maine / Yellowcard -esque stuff, definitely check them out!

Blind Channel was Blind Channel, meaning they were wonderful amazing brilliant and it was great seeing them again 💞 We were ~4th row, there were a few tall people directly in front of us but at least I ended up having a great view to the stage in the end. The stage was high enough and close enough to the audience for me to be able to see their tattoos in detail and I remember admiring Joel's heart tattoo and Olli's three swords (god bless the inventor of sleeveless shirts eh? 🥵)

Random moments I remember include Olli falling asleep/zoning out during Autopsy (he didn't look up at the "HEY!!" part, or maybe he just forgot 😂 (I have video proof lol)) and Joel doing the tiniest snake dance during Snake (it looked like he wasn't going to do it, but then he couldn't help himself, I hope someone captured this 🥺🙏) + the moments in the videos I've posted

They're all so gorgeous but Olli 😩😩😩😩😩 he's so fucking beautiful I have a scheduled meltdown about it on a normal day, but during the show it's just 💦💦💦💦💦💦 all the time 💀 he trousers he was wearing were so tight cool and the sleeveless shirt had me by the pussy swooning 🫠

Flatline is awesome live, including the silly dance, even if in the audience you can't do it as "big" as you're supposed to. No bruise on my left tiddy though, I guess it takes more than one concert for one to appear, so BC should maybe consider wearing some padding on their chests for that 😆👀

After the gig we had an "after party" in a rock bar somewhere in Stockholm (not sure which district). I think here it's relevant to mention that in the queue there was this nice Swedish metal dude standing behind us and probably unwillingly listening to us as we were speaking a merry mix of English and Finnish, and eventually he started chatting with us and ended up joining us inside the venue and even showing us the way to one of his favourite bars when we asked for recs and he also came in for a few drinks with us despite having work the next day (he had also been at the venue the day before to see Sleeping With Sirens and was still wearing the same makeup from that gig 😂👌)

At the same bar there was also Henrik from Amaranthe (who none of us would've recognized if the Swedish metal dude hadn't started fangirling about him 😂)

All in all I had such a fun time on this 24-hour trip and I'm so happy I decided to go. Some of you know how stressed out I was about it; I'm so thankful to anyone who had to listen to me rant my heart out about it. I'm happy to tell you that the experience I had was totally worth it <3

Thank you so incerdibly much to all you guys who were with me at any point of this trip, it wouldn't have been the same without you (you all know who you are <3). Sorry if I was obnoxious or laughed too loudly, but I had such a shit weekend behind me and I was just so happy to get to see my favourite band and to hang out with all of you lovely people that I couldn't contain my excitement. Being there really meant so much to me, because this band and the community we have built around it truly is one of the few lights at the end of the never-ending tunnel I often get lost in. I know this sounds silly and I'm probably being selfish but it made me so sad when BC said they won't be doing that many shows in Finland this summer. Yes, I completely understand that they're aiming for an international career and I'm fully supporting their plans to take over the world (I'm not one of those Finnish fans), and yes, I am aware that as a Finnish fan I'm immensely priviledged as it is and that I've had many more opportunities to see them than most fans living elsewhere have had. This may sound pathetic (or at least I feel pathetic about it), but I really don't have much else going on for me other than BC and everything related to it (nothing that gives me as much serotonin, that is), and if I don't get to see them next summer... I don't know what I'll do. Summers are a bit difficult for me for a variety of reasons, and last summer with all the BC shows was such a blessing, a wonderful distraction from my sad life and the fact that I'm nowhere near where I want to be, and I'm not sure if I can handle another lonely, grey summer and feeling like a failure every waking moment after having experienced all the fun last summer 💔

...so I guess I'm going on a road-trip around Europe next summer 🤔 Who's with me? 😌

[beanscool-excellent]

some ride the crimeclone notes because people liked my tags about it on that one post

ride the crimeclone (or just crimeclone) is the production of rtc that i have planned out in my head that i will never be able to put on bc i have changed parts of the script and putting it on would be Wildly Illegal, hence the name crimeclone

i jumped around the show a lot making these in my sketchbook and im going around my sketchbook too so its a little all over the place but!!

jane has contacts that make it look like her eyes are buttons

she has the doll in her pocket the whole show but the stuffing is falling out of it so ocean trails behind her and cleans it up

"my song--(leans down to pick up fluff)--was a cautionary tale--(leans down)--of hubris.(leans down, shoves fluff into her pocket)"

before the new birthday song when everyone brings the outfit ricky brings jane her doll and jane hugs the doll and its a very sweet moment

janes makeup is done to look like she has a patch on her face

puppet motif in tbojd

all her movements look very choreographed until "and im asking why lord" and then she just goes apeshit. she is so fucking mad

like i said earlier it has the energy of sam pauly's all you wanna do

i genuinely dont know how to put this into words but the lights on the umbrellas like. circle?

you know those people who sync up their christmas lights to the radio and it looks like pieces of light are moving up the sidewalks? that but in a circle

ok enough jane talk

propaganda posters in wtwn !!

this kinda thing ^

theyre used kinda like the big posterboards that spell out ocean in mcc*rter's version

mischa snaps his in half in the scene after wtwn

the outfit ricky quick changes into during sabm is So Glittery its almost obnoxious

the shirt is partially unbuttoned too

the implication is that he didnt have time to rebutton it after the cat sex

i also think the cat sex is a pre recorded projection so that theres enough time for the quick change bc i still want ricky to come out on "for theyre at war with canine"

i think he has the electric guitar the whole last section too and i want it to be strapped to his cane

idk why i just think itd be fun

oh also we keep lets get real space babies and dont be a dick

and its the version where ricky is actually disabled but i think that goes without saying

and while were at it keep love conquers all it is a CRIME that they removed it

i think thats all i have to say for now so heres my costume design stuff

oh i should elaborate on the noels lament skirts huh

ok so the skirt for the uniform is long so it spins out a lot, think the talia dresses but more pleated and less flowy, and the underside is red so during noels lament they can pin it up to look shorter in the front,, it looks weird in the drawing and i think it sounds weird but ive done it with my big skirts irl and it looks cool so. yeah

ill reblog with more stuff eventually but im writing this out at midnight and im tired so no more right now

[everydaydg]

My apologies for being behind schedule with the reviews from last year's games and just being rather quiet as of late

Kinda update on what ive been up to as of late

What a wierd start to the year huh. its been oddly rough...

Family member had an accident (they are fine, they have had several check ups and are recovering well). Tensions have been rising with some family members too so ehh... its a lil wierd.

things could be worse despite all that.

I have been oddly busy working with a few hobbies. Who knew doing what you love could be so oddly tiresome.

Ive been busy updating a few things for (REDACTED), been playing P3 for the first time among other things, did maintenance on my DSi (battery is a bit lose so it kept reseting my internal clock and date, fixed that up), been slowly working on the painting I started (really slow progress), been watching kotetsushin and planning on watching ideon... and ive made no progress on the 2023 reviews

Man Mazinkaiser really drained my juices in a way lmao. I had to look for THEME OF MAZINKAISER and look through a few things for that review which kinda tired me a bit...

pretty busy month for my hobbies haha, it feels like august for me.

Ive been enjoying P3 a whole lot!

but I am rather conflicted on how I will end up making a review for this. Main problem is that im playing it with a party control patch so I might have to replay a few months without party control for the sake of being able to write the review properly.

Ill figure that out eventually. for now im at month 10.

Dw I will try to get E.X. Troopers soon enought.

Ill try to post a few things I have in the backburner while im busy, like a few screenshots. you know how it be.

Hey maybe its best im not clogging your dash haha!

but yeah thats what ive been up to! Ill try to make some time to work on a few bigger posts soon enough.

Alright have a good one!

[archiveikemen]

‘Raising A Child With Love’ Story Event — Chapter 01 [Yoritomo Route]

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by downloading and playing their games.

read this before interacting with my posts

This is a story about a future that will one day come true ——

One fine day, a few days after I had given birth, I was resting in bed.

(I’m grateful that I’m given time to rest… but I really need to get up soon.)

I’ve gotten a lot better.

I sighed while thinking of my baby who was with his nanny.

Suddenly, the sliding door opened and Yoritomo came in.

Yoritomo: Oh? You’re already up.

Yuno: Lord Yoritomo…! I thought you were busy with work…

Yoritomo: Not to the point whereby I can’t spare some time to visit you.

I was pleased to hear him say that while walking towards me.

(I’m sure you must be extremely busy. But you’re still making time for me…)

Yuno: Thank you.

I tried getting up to thank him, but Yoritomo placed a hand on my shoulder to stop me.

Yoritomo: Don’t over exert yourself. Why do think I’m the only coming to you?

Yoritomo sat down next to me and gently brushed my bangs with a worried look.

Yoritomo: … It seems that your fever has gone down. You look better than before.

(You must’ve been worried sick…)

He kept staring at me, and I looked away shyly.

Yoritomo: What’s wrong?

Yuno: Please don’t stare at me so much. I’m really glad to see you, but…

(I’m lying in bed after falling ill during labour.)

(I’m not wearing any makeup and my hair must be in a horrible mess.)

As I got a little uneasy, Yoritomo sighed and smiled at me.

Yoritomo: Silly girl, what are you getting shy about? You don’t look too bad.

(Nn…)

Yoritomo sealed my lips with a kiss.

When he broke the kiss, he gazed lovingly into my eyes.

Yoritomo: —— We even have a child together now. You don’t have to hide anything from me.

Yuno: Lord Yoritomo…

(… Yoritomo truly cares deeply about me.)

My heart filled with warmth when I realised how loved I was.

Yoritomo: By the way, are you able to get up even just a little?

Yuno: Hm…? Yes, I can.

I was surprised by the sudden question, but I answered anyway.

Yuno: I’ve been sleeping all day, so I’m not tired at all.

Yoritomo looked relieved when I told him that.

Yoritomo: You do look well-rested. That’s great.

Yuno: Was that a compliment?

Yoritomo smiled back at my playful remark.

Yoritomo: Of course it is.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his expression.

(—— It’s been a while since I last talked to Yoritomo like this.)

When my condition was at it’s worst, I was unable to have such carefree conversations.

I felt my shoulders relax when I realised my life was gradually returning to normal.

Yoritomo: Anyway, if you think you’ll be alright, wait here a bit.

Yuno: Lord Yoritomo…?

Yoritomo stood up and called out to someone who was waiting in the hallway.

Yoritomo: You can come in now.

(Huh…?)

After a short wait, the nanny entered the room with a baby in her arms.

Yuno: Rindoumaru…!

A smile naturally appeared on my face and I immediately tried to sit up.

Nanny: Here, My Lady.

The nanny held out my baby named Rindoumaru.

The nanny bowed as I took the baby into my arms.

My baby was sleeping soundly in the warmth of my embrace.

Yuno: Adorable…

Just looking at him was enough to make me teary eyed.

Yuno: Look, Lord Yoritomo. He’s fast asleep.

Yoritomo also leaned in to look at Rindoumaru’s face.

Yoritomo: Yeah, they say that sleep is good for child growth.

Yuno: Indeed… I’m sure he’ll grow up really fast.

(But… I won’t be able to look after him all the time.)

As the son of the Seiitaishogun, Lord Yoritomo, he was to be raised by a nanny. It was part of the customs.

(I know it’s inevitable, but it still makes me sad.)

I couldn’t help but feel dejected.

But I quickly brushed it off.

(My baby can sense it if I’m gloomy, right?)

(We can’t be together all the time, so we should cherish whatever time we have together.)

Careful not to put in too much strength, I held my son tighter.

The feeling of having him in my arms seemed to melt away all my fatigue.

(I’m so happy to see you…)

Yuno: Thank you for bringing him here, Lord Yoritomo.

Yoritomo: … Yeah.

With a smile on his face, Yoritomo reached out to caress Rindoumaru’s cheek.

It made me incredibly happy to see the tender look Yoritomo gave Rindoumaru.

Yoritomo: —— Yuno, do you want to spend a little more time with him?

(Erm…)

Yuno: Yes, of course.

Yoritomo smiled when I responded energetically.

Yoritomo: I guessed as much.

[spoonyglitteraunt]

Vent post incoming. Feel free to skip.

So after the last one of these, which included the anxiety meltdown, my dad has since had surgery to remove the whatever. (Results of if it's the c word pending.) He was supposed to go in on Friday stay one night and come home on Saturday. I say supposed to since that was not what happened. Not by a long shot.

Cue everything going wrong that could go wrong, including very uncaring and incompetent hospital personnel. And eventually they just kicked him out on Tuesday despite the ongoing issues and severe unmanaged pain. Because and I quote "They needed the bed, they already had to delay someone's surgery". Funny how there were several empty rooms nearby, huh?

So he came home. And he's definitely getting more caring care and actual food here. But it keeps going from one problem into the next. His pain levels are hardly touched with paracetamol. And he keeps leaking despite a catheter. Not even just a bit. So they went back today and he just got waved off with an extra pill that does nothing and more pain.

The thing, as you probably know by now, is that I'm severely chronically ill and disabled. I need a lot of care and can do very little. While I can push myself a bit, it quickly comes back to bite me in the ass. If I continue to push it will just floor me entirely. Uncaringly. For long periods of time. My mom has a lot of pain issues. Both her knees are entirely broken, we even recently found out both her shoulders have completely torn through muscles where the injuries are so old (and thus unfixable) they created injuries of their own. Not to mention the padding between her joints and verterbea being little to non existent. My dad was the most "functional" of us all. Except now he isn't. He needs a LOT of care to even try to pull him through this. And I don't know how he will. This is before even knowing if the c word is involved.

We're suffering and struggling and barely keeping afloat. Yesterday I was some help, but by the end of the night I was shaking and crying from exhaustion. Today each time I stood up my body made it very clear we were either sitting down right the fuck now, or it would lay me down. Instantaneously. Also the heart rate was going through the roof. And so almost everything fell to my mom.

There is such guilt and agony in seeing your parents suffering and not being able to help. To be a hindrance more than a help. At best I can provide moral support, but it feels like nothing. I want to help so much. I would take his pain in a heartbeat. I'm used to it. But I can't and it's hard to deal with. It makes it so crystal clear just how disabled I am and how much he keeps me alive. And how after him, after both of them, there will be nothing.

And if that thought doesn't keep you up at 2am, as you listen to him snore for the short moment he found some sleep. Typing out a post on your phone to post on Tumblr in some attempt at coping that you'll probably feel bad about in the morning. As you contemplate the black hole that is your future. Then I don't know what will.

[give-soup-please]

Okay, the inbox is opening back up

This is a gentle reminder that it's going to be impossible to fill every prompt by the time the posts are going to stop on the 15th of September, even if I work at top speed until that time. I'm just going to write what I can. Whatever doesn't get written for will be released as a prompt list so that other people can write for them instead.

For those who don't remember, I'll summarize: The blog will still be here as an archive, it's not going anywhere. But I'm not going to write headcanons for TSP anymore. Keep in mind, writing will be slower than normal as I prepare to move and am juggling several personal projects as well. If you want more details on why I'm stopping, refer to the post link below:

Any prompts received after the 15th of September will be deleted, no matter how good they are. You will not be able to tempt me into writing headcanons again, so don't even try.

For those who have sent your prompts in, but haven't received an answer, they're all still sitting in my inbox, very few have been deleted.

Without further ado:

I write for the narrator from the stanley parable. I can write platonic or romantic things, either for 'you' (the reader) or someone else.

I'm doing these for fun, and I don't guarantee to write to everything that's sent in.

I don't write NSFW, or extreme gore/violence.

I can write for certain things on the spectrum, and certain mental illnesses, but not others.

I can write about autism. I can also write about depression and anxiety both as their own illnesses and as parts of symptoms that are for a bigger problem.

I can't write for DID or schizophrenia.

I can write about s*icide, but not directly. (some anon sent an ask like, "how would the narrator react to the reader successfully committing s*icide" and uh... No. I'm not writing about grief and pain so directly. (He would be devastated. We all would be.)) Ideation is fine for me to write, as are thoughts about it, but the direct act successfully done is off the table.

I don't write yandere stuff, but I can write about an obsessed narrator, because that's very canonical.

I can't write for the narrator reacting to you playing certain games. I have a hard time writing something that doesn't end up as (narrator: "huh. neat.")

Angst is fine to write for, but for my sake, there needs to be a reason for it. Reader and narrator can have tortured pasts, I do write about abuse. But they can't/shouldn't be torturing each other without an exceptionally good reason. "For fun." doesn't meet this criteria. I don't want either of you getting hurt/gen

I can't write crossovers. It requires too much additional research.

Most other things are fair game, but these rules may change as issues arise.

If you aren't certain, just ask. The worst you'll get is a no, or no response.

If you don't specify whether you want something platonic or romantic, I usually choose to make it platonic.

Also a small side note, I apologize if something you sent in wasn't written for. Some prompts are harder than others, some prompts I don't write to because of the above rules. I give every prompt I receive a fair chance before giving up on it.

And feel free to ask personal questions as well. I'm sure some of you are curious about the person behind the posts. No guarantee about answering those either though.

(last round, folks. let's make it count)