#this one has soooo many moving parts it's hard to summarize

[echoes-lighthouse]

Tate and Echo: The Full Story

I'm trying to get all my lore for my selfships down on paper, and people said they would be most likely to engage with text posts with illustrations, so that's what I'm doing! I'm writing them so that they're hopefully understandable to people who don't know the source material (in this case, American Horror Story Season 1)

Previously: Toga

This selfship is pretty damn dark because of the source material being a horror show, so content warnings for murder, ableism, abuse, sexual assault, school shootings, suicide, toxic relationships, self harm, and parent/child death. Also I really struggled to summarize the ending to the story, because it's a bit of an eldritch ritual thing that only makes sense in the context of the story I haven't written lol

Chapter One: Backstories 

Tate Langdon was born in 1977, the youngest of three siblings and the first to be born without a disability. Accordingly, he grew up as his abusive mother’s ‘golden child,’ trying to protect his siblings and ultimately failing. His father allegedly ran away with an affair partner when he was six years old, leaving him the “man of the house” according to his mother (who had, in fact, killed his father and the affair partner). 

When Tate was 17, his older brother was murdered with the direction of his mother, who didn’t want him taken away from her due to her abuse (chaining him in the attic). Tate tried to kill his brother’s murderer, then killed fifteen people at his school, Westfield High, and committed suicide via police. 

Tate died in the property known as “the Murder House,” in which all people who die there remain in the house as ghosts, to serve an unknown hunger that lingers in its history. 

Echo Makovsky was born in 1987, an only child. They grew up happily, a third-generation witch with traditions passed down from their grandmother. They occasionally struggled with their powers, but ultimately graduated high school and went into a teaching degree. 

In 2012, everything went wrong for Echo: their best friend died in a car accident, their parents both passed away in the span of eight months. They took two months of bereavement, and then left their job altogether. By the next year, they had taken a new job teaching in the US, and they were looking at places to stay. 

While visiting for an interview, they took a tour of the Murder House and were immediately struck by the house’s energy. They went back to Canada, considered their options, and ultimately used their parents’ inheritance to buy the property. 

August 2014 finds Echo moving into the house that has claimed so many spirits, not knowing what they will find there… and also taking a teaching position at Westfield High. 

Chapter Two: First Meeting 

Echo enters the house and immediately starts to have nightmares. The house has many interlocking desires, but one of the pressing ones is to have a baby, to create a baby, to have something small to hold and nurture. Tate has promised one of the other ghosts that he’ll get them a baby, and Echo looks like a perfect opportunity. Among the nightmares of fire and bathtubs and searching endless hallways, Echo has a dream that a man comes to their room in the night and forces himself on them. 

That is, technically, Tate and Echo’s first meeting, although only one of them knows it. 

Echo starts to explore the house and encounter the spirits that dwell within it. They start to get into little routines: reading children’s books to the unseen sisters who like to sit by the fireplace and whisper to each other, making tea for the woman who wanders through the kitchen every day in tears, and rolling a ball back and forth with the spirit in the attic, who never speaks. 

One day, Echo is playing with the ghost in the attic and Tate introduces himself, joining the two of them. He tells Echo about Beau, his brother, the spirit chained in the attic. Tate is the first ghost that can actually talk to Echo properly, and they’re determined to get more information from him. 

Chapter Three: Getting Together 

Tate starts following Echo around after that, asking them questions and stealing their books. Echo likes him: he’s sardonic and sweet, clingy but goading in turn. He has information and tips about the spirits of children in the house, but stays closed-mouthed about most of the adults. The gaps in his information only make Echo more interested in his story, as do the inconsistencies in his behavior. 

Tate has always known how to be sweet and lovely: he knows that he’s pretty, he knows that he can use it to his advantage. The difference is that he’s never wanted to before. His mother always wanted him to be the perfect son, charming and soft, so he made himself as sharp and abrasive as he could manage. 

Now, he wants Echo for himself. He knows that the house wants them: he knows that every member of the house will want something from them. Tate is determined to stake his claim first, enough that Echo will choose him when the others come knocking. 

So he plays the vulnerable, the bird with a wounded wing. He’s attentive, he plays with his sweater sleeves, he confesses his insecurities, he talks about his nightmares instead of his hallucinations. He tries not to flinch under the onslaught of affection he receives in return, but it’s still not enough, still not more than Echo gives to all the members of the house. So he crawls into their arms and presses them against the back of the couch and Echo takes him to bed. 

And Tate thought he would be satisfied: he’s special, he’s chosen, but he’s lying. He’s playing a part and it’s starting to make him feel sick. The closer Echo gets to the other spirits, the closer Echo gets to finding out about the first night they were together, and Tate still can’t tell them how he died, or how he knew his mother abused his siblings and did nothing, or anything that isn’t part of the sweet boy he’s made himself into, to be easy to swallow, easy to hold. 

Part Four: Where We’re At  The Conclusion

It’s at work that things fall apart: in a conversation with another teacher, Tate is mentioned as the shooter that caused so much collective trauma at the school, and the pieces start clicking together. I hold onto the information for a while, resentful of needing to be the one to bring it up, trying to look at Tate from the right angle to make it all make sense. Trying to pretend that things can keep going as they’ve been. 

Filled with my months of labor and love, the house is finally opening up. Knowing that it might mean abandoning Tate, I descend into the heart of the house and give myself to the deepest reaches of the house’s need. I no longer know if I can fix things, with Tate or with the house itself, but I no longer care about my own well-being, and I can hope that my sacrifice will help. 

The house accepts me, and the First Abandoned Child, Thaddeus, is reborn through me: a bloody process that would have killed me if the spirits of the house hadn’t come together to save me. I come out of the process alive and with a baby in my arms, which is a bit of a shock since I was on birth control this whole time and have never intended to have a baby. But the house is suddenly alive again, and the spirits are given the chance to move on. 

Not all of them choose to leave: Nora stays to be with her child properly, the twins want to stay to cause more mischief, and there are a couple of ghosts who just aren’t ready for whatever comes next, but a great majority move on. 

And then there is Tate. 

For a while, I think he might have left without saying goodbye: I don’t see him anywhere, and I grieve for him with the others, but I’m still hopeful. Eventually, he comes to me, and we can finally talk honestly. It’s a long discussion, but Tate decides to stay, at least for a while. And I love him, as he is. It will take a long time for him to believe it, but I’m willing to put in the work. I can remodel the house, I can keep the gardens, I can raise my child, and I can love Tate unconditionally. 

In the years to come, Thaddeus will grow, and the remaining spirits will move on, but as long as they are in the house, I will love them, and when the time comes to let go, I will continue to love them, wherever they are. 

[hongism]

not your typical flower shop story chapter three

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Flower Shop Owner!Taehyung, College!Reader, College!Taehyung, Fluff, Angst, Future Smut

Word Count: 6102

Rating: M

Warnings: language

Summary: You always goes to the cute boy next door’s flower shop across the street because hi yes he’s the cutest damn person you’ve ever seen, until one day a guy with tattoos and a severe obsession with the color black shows up in the shop asking for the ‘usual’ and you find out that your cute innocent little flower boy has a dirty little secret.

A/N: i don’t have much of a note to add soooo we may as well jump right into the story woot woot~ i hope you all enjoy the chapter! I’m so so sorry this took so long to get out! I got distracted by finding beauty, then i had no inspiration, and askdkfjdk i was a mess for a bit. It’s finally done though and I’m super excited to share it with you guys!

⇐ previous | next ⇒

​​​

​​​

"Before I explain anything, you need to be sure about this," Yoongi says, hands outstretched as though warning you against this decision. You grit your teeth and press your lips into a thin line. "If we tell you the truth, there's no going back."

"Stop making it sound so dramatic," you respond. "I don't care." I don't care. I need to know now.

"I don't think you realize the weight of the situation, Y/N. I'm being serious. Dead serious. Your life could turn to shit after this, and what we tell you could put you in danger."

"More danger than what I experienced earlier tonight?" You inquire. You fold your arms over you chest, pushing your weight onto your back foot as you glare at Yoongi. Taehyung doesn't move a muscle; he merely glances between you and Yoongi with wide eyes. "How much worse can it get?" A sigh passes through Yoongi's slightly agape lips, and you smirk at his resignation. He motions over his shoulder in the direction of the living room.

"Can we at least sit and talk about this in there?"

You nod, following both men out to the living room. Reality seems to hit in that moment, as you walk behind them with head ducked, and cold seeps through your skin and fills your whole system. How bad can it be? Not a part of the mafia, right? How dangerous are these two? And the fleeting final thought before you sink into the armchair — what am I getting myself into?

If any of this is supposed to make any sense at all, you are sure that the world is ending and things are meant to turn to shit before it all crashes down on itself. And you suppose that maybe, just maybe, you are perfectly okay with the world ending right now, but you want to be a bit selfish and ask for a bit more out of life first.

The feeling that you had while crouched under a dirty table in that diner was not something you want to experience again. The result that came about the first time you were in the diner — the painful memories you were left to live with alone because your companion then was not as lucky as you were — is not something you want to ever happen again. You don't want another person to take your place, after living with the consequences. So if you can have the ability to prevent that from ever happening again, you may as well do everything in your power to obtain that ability. Something tells you that whatever danger Yoongi is trying to warn you against is exactly what you need. So you are going to take this chance.

"I know you say you don't care, but this is a very serious situation. A matter of life or death. It sounds dramatic, but it's real." Yoongi leans forward in his spot on the couch, elbows finding a home on his knees and propping his chin up atop his clenched fists. Taehyung sits beside him, rigid and still, some sort of unnerving quiet about his presence that hits you with a sense of dread.

"I'm okay with that," you say under your breath. The words come out a bit more unsure than you would like, and the gleams of doubt in both Yoongi and Taehyung's eyes is not helping your case. You sit up a bit straighter, clearing your throat to repeat the words with more resolve. "I'm okay with whatever it is."

"Even if it may be on the wrong side of the law? Or not…the most respectable job?"

"I don't care what it is."

"If you're certain…" Yoongi trails off, still obviously hesitant about sharing the truth with you.

"If knowing whatever your deep dark secret is will make sure that I don't have to go through that kind of fear again, then I am certain."

"What happened to running away from your problems?" Yoongi laughs through his words, a slight smile finding its way onto his lips. He doesn't wait for you to offer a counter argument though and begins to explain. "Do you know what a hitman is?"

"What? Um, yea I'm pretty sure I do. It's just a person who is paid to kill a target, right?"

"Technically yes. I mention that because this is the easiest way to explain what Taehyung and I do for a living."

"You kill people," you state, thoughts leaving your mind the moment Yoongi's words sink in. All of the sudden, knowing the truth doesn't seem as appealing as you thought. But the thought of sweet little innocent flower boy Taehyung killing someone? How is that even possible?

"No — well yes but ugh, okay. Let me just explain this a bit, okay? It's not as simple as that." Yoongi drops his arms and resituates a bit on the couch. "So, Taehyung and I — we are a part of a group — you might call it a gang, but that's a bit too simple for our tastes — and our group is responsible for special kinds of jobs. We do a number of things, and yes, operating as hitmen is one of those things. Each of us has a specific role or job. We go about missions based on these jobs, so not all of us are killers."

"All of you? As in, all two of you? Or are there more?"

"There are seven of us at the moment. Our leader…he tends to be pretty exclusive with who is allowed into the group, so there aren't many of us."

"But you're not a gang? Or in some sector of the mafia?"

"You could call us a gang, but we don't like that label too much. It's — if I try to explain it, you'll think we're just some sort of cocky assholes."

You exhale slowly, breath cascading over your lips, and lean back in the armchair. A gang. Taehyung is in a gang that kills people and does other shady shit. Taehyung. None of this sounds real. Maybe I died back in the diner and this is some weird state of the afterlife that is supposed to signal something.

"So, to summarize: you and Taehyung are part of a gang, but it's not technically a gang, and you kill people, but the two of you don't do the killing? Do you realize how odd that sounds?"

"Yes, that sounds crazy. I guess instead of calling it a gang, it should be an adult criminal organization? That explains it a bit better." Yoongi shrugs, glancing over at Taehyung to see his reaction to the explanation, and Taehyung nods along with him.

"You mentioned special roles?"

"We have specific jobs. Only one person in our group is an assassin. The others all deal with other sorts of jobs."

"Like what?" You wave your hands a bit as a wave of frustration rises in your gut. The whole situation doesn't fit together in your mind.

"Well, sometimes certain people need information. We have someone who goes to business meetings, conferences, parties, those sorts of things, to extort information from others. And he gets that information through bribery or lust-driven fantasies or even just a glass of good wine. Or, if our client needs information obtained in a different manner, we have a hacker who can secure that information in a more covert manner. Break-ins, hacking, seduction, killing — you name it, someone does it."

"What about both of you? Can you tell me what your jobs are?" Yoongi hesitates, a breath of silence, and you narrow your eyes at the man. He doesn't meet your gaze, however, instead glancing over at Taehyung and exchanging an emotional stare with him. Taehyung slowly shakes his head, as though the speed of his movements will prevent you from seeing them. Yoongi pokes the tip of his tongue out between his teeth.

"I'm the guy you hire when you to infiltrate a building. Think, a spy minus the parties and the socialization." Yoongi motions towards the gun that has found its way onto the living room table again. "I rarely have to use it, but if I'm at risk of being caught, I have to do what I have to do. I have another job, but it isn't supposed to be open information. Have to keep it on the down low, just in case."

"So…" You trail off, whatever you were thinking of saying dying before it reaches the air, and stare at the handguns lying innocently on the table. Yoongi seems to sense what weighs on your mind though.

"I can't say that I've never killed anyone. Of course, a lot of shame comes with that weight, but I do what I have to. We all do. I know that if I had the opportunity to pay off my brother's education in a different way, I most definitely would do that instead. But what I have now — what we have together in this group — it's just as good as a family to me. I haven't got any shame for being a part of it, just for some of the things I have to do."

"I...it's just a bit hard to wrap my mind around it. The people you kill have families too. Don't you think they're trying to help their families in some way?"

"Part of the business, Y/N, is learning where to draw the line. Sometimes it's blurry or nonexistent, but a lot of the time, you have to figure out what your morals are and prioritize those. I don't have time to waste my energy on other people's opinions. I do what I have to do. Some things I enjoy, some things I don't. Isn't that merely a part of life?"

You frown at his words. The line between right and wrong, good and evil. A thing your parents taught you about from a young age. Your teachers, friends and family all played a part in molding your view of the world and deciding where that line was. But that all falls under the same umbrella, the umbrella that means being good and right, an umbrella that is supposed to protect you from the evil and wrong. And those thoughts that crossed your mind before you pushed the mug to the ground earlier returns.

They raise you to think that doing good and being good is all that matters. That no matter what evil you see or hear, you are supposed to be good. Help others by doing good and meaningful things. What if doing good things doesn't get you far enough?

You press your palms against the cushion under you.

"I don't know," you say, looking over in Yoongi's direction. He blinks back at you with eyes a bit wider than they were before, and you rush to clarify what you mean in the face of his confusion. "How on earth are you supposed to build your own morals when people have been telling you what you're supposed to think and say for your whole life?"

There's a familiar ring in your head as your question lingers in the air, one that hearkens memories from a time when you were younger. Yoongi's expression softens. Taehyung finally looks in your direction. You only hear your mother's voice whispering gently in your ear, almost feeling her breath against the shell of it as she recites the words she used to whisper to you before tucking you into bed at night.

"Remember, Y/N. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil."

The things she told you as a child, what's right and wrong, ways to be a good person, and the punishments that follow being a bad person. Like when you took a pack of candy from the grocery store and stuffed it under your shirt, walking out the door without a thought about it being wrong in any way. She reprimanded you so much after that incident, told you how bad it was to take things that don't belong to you, and demanded that you tell her where the idea came from.

"From my mind," you had said. Without any outside influence, you had had the urge to steal the candy because you knew that your mother wouldn't want to buy it for you and would tell you to put it back. In all of her nighttime mantras, never did she say "do no evil". See no evil. Hear no evil. Speak no evil. Not do no evil.

"I don't understand," you whisper, more to yourself than to the men sitting to your side. "Doing evil things with good intention. Does that balance it out? Do the scales tip more in one direction than the other? But which side weighs more?"

"It doesn't have a measurement, Y/N," Yoongi responds, voice hovering above a whisper along with yours. "Trust me, I've thought about this time and time again, but I've never gotten an answer. Eventually I came to terms with the burden. Killing someone? That's on me, that's something I have to live with for the rest of my life. But when I lay down at night and think about what and who I did that for, I'm at peace with it. I know that it didn't come from a place of hatred or evil, merely self-defense and the will to keep on living for the people I care about."

"So if…what if I—I have someone, a person I want to protect and live for?"

"What are you asking me, Y/N?"

You pause, chewing on your words by gnawing on the tip of your tongue, and look away from the two men. If I had the chance — the ability — to go back and kill that robber before he hurt anyone the first time I was at the diner, would I take it? In a heartbeat. And to what extent would I go to pay off the medical bills? Find a magic cure for him? Bring him back as the person I knew?

"I-I'm asking what I have to do to be a part of this."

"Y/N, no!" Taehyung speaks up for the first time. He lunges out of his seat, standing and putting both hands up in front of your body. His expression is panicked, shoulders tensed and drawn upward so high they nearly touch his ears. "No, I can't let you be dragged into this. Not this. You are a good person. Please don't do this."

“Wow…that’s — uh, you’re a really good person. That’s amazing how you want to help people and do good things for others. I…I can’t imagine.”

You squint at the man before you. What about you, Taehyung? What do you do this evil work for? Aren't you the same as Yoongi? Wanting to help the people you care about, but needing to do that by bad methods?

"What if it's my decision? I want this. I need this. I have people I care about too, people I need to help, and I can't do that now. If I have even the slightest chance to be able to help them, why would I not take that?" Your hands tremble slightly as you tuck them into your lap.

"You don't deserve to be dragged into this life. You deserve more than this. I-I can help—I can help you financially if that's what you need. I'll give you any amount of money if you just don't d—"

"But then I'm not helping anyone. I would be simply taking your money! I'd be taking away money you could use for people who matter to you."

"It's okay! I don't mind, Y/N. I just — I don't want you to be a part of this life. It's not meant for you. You're too good and want to do something impactful and meaningful for others. This won't get you there."

"You don't know anything about me, Taehyung. You know me as the girl who comes by your flower shop every week, but that's it. You don't know what I've lost or what I've had to go through. You said it yourself at the diner: I am a person who has seen a lot of terrible and evil things, and I want the best from people even though I've been disappointed too many times to count. If this is some sort of retribution and a way for me to rectify the mistakes I've made throughout my life, then so be it. If I want this, then please let me have it." You plead with Taehyung, hands clasping together in your lap, and you look up to meet his gaze. Taehyung releases an almost inaudible whine and turns away from you.

"She's right, Taehyung," Yoongi interjects. "You can't make this decision for her. If this is what she wants, then she has every right to pursue it."

"Thank you," you mutter as you drop your hands again.

"But it's not that easy. Neither of us can just let you in, and that's not a decision that's up to the two of us. As I mentioned earlier, our leader is very particular about who is allowed in the group. We would have to go to him and discuss things with him first before you're even allowed to meet him, then he would have to meet you in person and conduct some tests to make sure you're certain about this." You shake your head a little, looking around Taehyung's body to meet Yoongi's eyes.

"I don't care what it takes. This opportunity came to me for a reason, and I would be stupid if I didn't take it."

Yoongi sighs.

"Let me go make a quick call then. I'll be right back." He stands and moves away from the couch, leaving you and Taehyung to remain in the living room with an awkward silence ready to ensue.

The front door to the apartment snaps shut and announces Yoongi's exit. Taehyung lowers himself to the couch once more, refusing to look in your direction again.

"I'm sorry about your mug," you say to break the silence.

"It's okay."

"I'm sorry for getting angry with you too. I don't understand what kind of situation you're in or why you have to do this. I shouldn't judge you for something I don't understand."

"It's okay, Y/N. I get it, I really do. All the questions you were asking…I had the exact some concerns when I first started this job. I still struggle a lot with it as well, and I've never really come to terms with the ugly parts of my job. I try to remind myself that I'm doing it with good intentions and it's for a good cause, but at the end of the day, I'm never sure whether I'm just trying to tell myself that it's okay when it isn't. Yoongi has had a lot more time to wrestle with those things, and he is much stronger than I am in terms of mentality and emotions. He seems to have it all under control and knows what he believes in, but I…I can't do that. I-I think being around you, it-it makes me think more about it. You're a good person, even if you claim that I don't know you, I can see it. In the way you treat people, what you want to do with your life, even when you claim that you need to be a part of this life in order to help. At the end of this road, when it's all said and done, I know that you will still be a good person. If you join this life, no matter what you have to do, you will always have those good intentions and a good heart. As for me…I-I, I'm not sure that I can say the same about myself."

You frown. Eyes averted, Taehyung sniffles and rubs at the base of his nose. You're certain that if he were to turn his head, you would find tears on his cheeks. Sweet, innocent Taehyung. That's how you have seen him since the first time you went to his flower shop. And yet, now, months later, you see that he doesn't think of himself in the same way. It's almost a form of self-hatred, his misconceptions driving his mind to a place of hatred for what he does and why he does it. And yet… 

"You saw the good in me, Taehyung. Even though I don't think of myself the same way, you still believe that I'm that kind of person. I've always seen you as that kind of person as well. You may not believe me, or you may not want to, but I think of you as a good person."

He looks over at you, eyes a bit bloodshot, and you see the tear tracts on the balls of his cheeks. He doesn't say anything in response to your small rant. After another few moments of quiet between the two of you, he reopens his mouth and begins to talk again.

"I-I don't hurt people. Not physically at least. I never have, and I've never used my gun. It is just something that I have to have with me at all times, just in case something does happen, but if that time comes, I'm not sure I would be able to shoot someone, even in self-defense. I don't want to. The others know that and understand it, but I've a-always felt a bit guilty about it. For making them think that if it came down to it, I wouldn't be able to protect them. I'm just a hacker. A simple and easy job where I can stay in the base and not worry about ever having to hurt someone."

"But sometimes it feels like you're hurting people nonetheless?" You ask, trying to follow Taehyung's train of thought.

"Yea…sometimes I think that. When I take funds, I think about how maybe those people could've used the money to support their family or pay for bills and education. And with information, I think that maybe someone might lose their job for not protecting the information better. Maybe they'll have to go home to their spouse and children and tell them that they don't have a job anymore. They can't support the family anymore. I worry that I'm the cause for a divorce or strife and all kinds of other bad things. And I wonder if it would be better for me to just hurt people physically instead of emotionally…"

"Why are you part of the gang if that's the case? Wouldn't it be better for you to not do that kind of work?"

"They need me," Taehyung whispers, "and I need them. Without them, I don't know where I'd be or what I'd do. I've talked about it with our leader before, and he always tells me that I don't have to do anything I don't want to. Even if I step away for a few days or don't work for a couple of weeks, I always end up coming back. They mean too much to me for me to walk away." Another question lingers on your lips but it remains there, hanging on the tip of your tongue, as Yoongi enters the apartment again. You turn your attention to the door, and Taehyung looks over his shoulder. "What did he say?" Taehyung asks. Yoongi doesn't say anything so you search his expression for some sort of answer, but he remains blank as he walks back to the couch. "Hyung?"

"He said he talked to Moon earlier and that they both decided it would be a good idea." First Chariot, now Moon? What the hell? Are they using code names or something? But Yoongi and Taehyung have been using each other's names this whole time.

"Moon? Why would his opinion matter at all in this?" Taehyung asks. He rubs at his eyes in an attempt to erase any sign of his earlier tears.

"He didn't explain why, and I didn't ask."

"So what does this mean for me?" You cut into the conversation.

"It means you get to go meet him."

"What?" You and Taehyung speak at the same time, and a small grin crawls onto Yoongi's lips. He laughs at the expressions of shock across both your faces.

"No need to be so panicked. You won't be meeting him at our base, you won't get to come near that place until he's talked with you some first and decides whether you can join. So, in the meantime, you and I will go on a little walk to meet up with him. As for you, Tae, he asked that you head to the base to report to Star. He wants to know everything that went down tonight in case that guy in the diner was part of a rival gang." More code names? What the hell…how am I supposed to keep up with all of this?

"What? Wh-why can't I come along with you two? I feel like I should be there…" Taehyung trails off. Yoongi brings a hand down on his shoulder, eyes boring holes into the side of his head.

"Do you trust me to keep her safe?"

"Of course I do."

"And do you trust me to do whatever I have to to make sure she's safe?"

"I do, hyung."

"Then go back to the base. I'll take care of things."

Taehyung does as asked and stands, but he passes you one last glance before stepping around the couch. He doesn't say anything else; instead choosing to leave the apartment with you and Yoongi behind. Once the door closes behind him, you let out a deep exhale.

"Um, so where are we supposed to meet this—uh, your leader?" You ask, and Yoongi laughs at the awkwardness residing in your tone.

"You can call him Emperor."

"Sorry, what? Uh, I think not? That sounds like a weird kink, and I'm not into that." Yoongi only laughs harder at your statement, doubling over where he sits.

"It's not a kink. Not one that I know of, at least. I just can't tell you his real name, so I'm giving you his code name instead." Yoongi gets up and grabs his handgun off the table. He tucks it into his waistband before addressing you again. "I can't tell you exactly where we're going, so I'll need you to trust that I'm not gonna take you to an alley to kill you."

"That's reassuring, thanks," you say in response, a slight scoff following your words, and you stand as well. You pat your pockets, waiting for the familiar bump of your cell phone, but it never comes. "Uh, one second, I think I left my phone in Taehyung's room." Yoongi shrugs. As soon as you step back into Taehyung's room, you spot your phone lying on the bed. Notifications litter the screen, some from your friends at university, one from your mother, and another from one of your coworkers, but you don't pay them any mind because something else garners your attention on the screen. Four new messages from Jimin, along with two missed calls from the same ID.

from y/n, 11:26 p.m. read

- i know you aren't really him, because the hospital would've told me if anything happened. so quit playing games and tell me who you really are.

from jimin, 11:32 p.m. read

- and how exactly would you know that??

from jimin, 11:34 p.m. read

- it's not like you ever visited the hospital…not really. leaving flowers in the lobby??? were you really that busy to not even have time to come to my room? see how i was doing? only ever had the time to ask the receptionist to send the flowers to my room? good fucking riddance, y/n.

from jimin, 11:35 p.m. read

- you disappeared on me. all the messages you sent about how you wished i hadn't disappeared, or left you, or gone away were bullshit. you were the one to leave me. how could you not realize that? are you that fucking full of yourself? think you're such a good and wonderful person that it would never be your fault?

from jimin, 11:57 p.m. read

- is it your turn to ignore me now??

You can't stop your hands from shaking now, fingers too unstable for you to be able to type out an answer. Even if you could answer, you have no idea what you would say in response to that. How did he know that I never visited him? Did the nurses tell him? Was he released? No…that's not possible…they would have told me. I-I don't understand what's happening. Everything is falling apart all at once.

"Is everything alright?" Yoongi's voice enters the room.

No.

"Yea, I'm fine. Sorry, got distracted for a second."

"Watch out for the glass."

"I'm fine." You join Yoongi by the door, pushing your phone into your pocket without looking at the screen again. "Let's go. I'd rather not keep your friend waiting." Yoongi snorts and leads the way out of the apartment. He snatches Taehyung's keys off the counter before he goes though, and he allows you to step into the hallway first as well, locking the door behind him once he is in the hallway as well.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

You jump at the sound of the voice, even though it's one quite familiar by now. Down the hall, Hifumi stands, stepping out of the elevator just as Yoongi locks the door. She wears the same slinky outfit you saw her leave in earlier in the night, but a coy smile resides on her lips now in addition to the outfit. She holds her painful looking stilettos in one hand, the other resting on her hip as she walks closer to where you're standing with Yoongi.

"Isn't this an interesting turn of events?"

You huff in response.

"It seems your little date went quite well, I assume? They say two's company, three's a crowd. Just more opportunities for pleasure though, am I right?" Hifumi laughs, tongue poking out between her teeth. Yoongi doesn't say anything; he merely stands at your side, glancing over Hifumi with little interest.

"Oh please, Hifumi. You really think I'm that type of girl?" You scoff.

"Hm? Oh, if you haven't tried it, I highly recommend. Quite the experience. And with your choice of company, I'm sure it would be quite the pleasure as well. Better than any of the other people you've dragged through your door." Hifumi laughs as redness creeps up your neck, and you shift from foot to foot with growing discomfort. She passes a wink your way, eyes travel over Yoongi's form, then she moves for her door. "Goodnight, Y/N. Maybe I'll see your friend around?"

"I wouldn't cou—"

"Depends," Yoongi cuts in, preventing you from finishing your denial. Hifumi releases a loud laugh, and the sound echoes through the hall. She continues to laugh until she's disappeared behind her door. "She's funny."

"Excuse me?"

"She's funny," Yoongi reiterates, leading the way to the stairwell.

"I don't think so," you mutter back. Yoongi laughs at your comment. He glances at you over his shoulder, one side of his mouth tugged upwards.

"Not a fan of threesomes?"

"Excuse me—what?" You nearly miss a step thanks to Yoongi's comment, but he just keeps laughing without a care. "Why are you asking me that now of all times?"

"Just making conversation."

"It's none of your business."

"Trying to lighten the mood as well, but you seem to be more pessimistic than I am so that's quite difficult."

Hitting the last step, you huff and attempt to shove your hands into the pockets on your pants, only to realize that you're still wearing your pajama pants.

"Wa-wait, Yoongi, I-I'm still wearing my nightclothes," you stutter, reaching out to grab hold of Yoongi's arm.

"And?"

"I—There's no way I'm going to meet the leader of a gang in my pajamas!" You argue.

"He won't care. I guarantee it."

"But I care."

"Well then, don't?" He suggests, waving his hand through the air as though to dismiss the issue. You drop the topic, either too tired or too nervous to carry on talking about it with Yoongi. The realization of how late it actually is hits when the two of you step outside. The chill in the air is typical, seeing as the season is shifting into winter and the last bits of autumn show in the brown and orange leaves that cling to the few trees outside your apartment building. Subconsciously, you wrap your arms around yourself, trying to block the cold from breezing through your t-shirt to no avail, and follow Yoongi as he leads the way to an unknown place.

This is most likely one of the dumbest decisions you've ever made: following a man you don't know well, who poses a significant threat no doubt (especially because he's carrying a gun), and going to meet the leader of a gang. If your mother could see you now, she would either be disappointed, mortified, or both. Her sweet-spoken mantra, "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil", rings in your head as you stare at Yoongi's leather-clad back, and for a moment, you feel as though you are watching your body move from above. Some sort of atemporal and out of body experience where you see yourself following Yoongi to an unknown place. Maybe, just maybe, it's a sign — something meant to warn you against this path — or you're losing your grip on reality (again). Funny how that seems to be a recurring pattern for you.

If asked to repeat the path you took with Yoongi later, you wouldn't be able to explain anything because you don't feel yourself return to your body until Yoongi has stopped in front of a grungy looking bar. He glances over at you, hand resting on the door handle, and you merely blink back, trying to recall how you got here.

"You good?"

"Yea, I'm okay," you say.

"You're still sure about this? This is the last time I'll ask."

"Yes, I'm certain." You rub your forehead as you speak. Even though you speak with confidence, you're sure that the nervousness shows in your expression, and you can't hide that well. Yoongi doesn't say anything more; instead, he pushes against the door and lets the warm air from inside cascade over the two of you. You follow him in, looking at your surroundings with wide eyes. Despite the grungy appearance of the exterior, the inside is much more put together and clean than you would have guessed, and even with the late hour, there seem to be lots of patrons littering the tables.

You stick close to Yoongi's body as he walks through the bar. The two of you reach the back, close to the bartender, and Yoongi exchanges a discreet nod with the man as you pass him. He keeps pressing forward, through another door, and now you've stepped into a significantly colder room with a single table in it. And there, sitting at that table, one chair empty across from him, is a man. Yoongi doesn't have to tell you who he is, because you know just from looking at him.

Even though he's sitting, you can tell he's tall from his long torso and legs. When he looks over at you, a chill passes through your spine, and you avert your gaze.

"Here she is," Yoongi says and motions at you with his hand.

"Thank you. You can go join Moon outside. He's at the bar counter." Yoongi slides around you and exits, leaving you to stand at the mouth of the room with the man's eyes still lingering on you. "Why don't you come sit down, Miss L/N?"

"Okay…” you mutter. Your feet drag as you approach the table, body feeling heavy under his scrutiny. Once you sit down and meet his eyes, he offers a warm smile, catching you off-guard.

"We'd best get started. I have a lot I want to discuss, which might be a surprise to you. However, I've been looking forward to this meeting for quite some time."

"Wh-what?" You stammer, blinking at the man across from you as he grins.

"Did you think it was all a coincidence?"

...

a/n: woooo! another chapter written! i hope you guys like it, and let me know what you think!! i love hearing from you guys~

edit: heathy thank you for saving my clown ass with that edit i’m big dumb 🤡

consider sending me a ko-fi!!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

[skyhopedango]

stuff I watched this week

Soooo the new season is officially upon us, and after the most underwhelming winter season in years, spring looks... well. Let’s just say this week was Trope Week In Anime, at least in the shows I watched, and not in the fun way. (Which reminds me, gah, Double Decker will officially have its last episode on the 10th, noooooo. :( I’ll just cling to it until everyone in the fandom moves on...)

Anyway, about the stuff I watched this week... well, they all served to remind me that I’m old and jaded and have a taste that is apparently too finicky for my own good.

Fruits Basket 2019:

Well. As I mentioned previously, I watched the first anime as it aired, and while I did enjoy it, I didn’t enjoy it enough to have this overflowing, passionate nostalgia for it that so many people seem to have. (I do remember seeking out the manga to see more of the Hatori/Ayame/Shigure trio, and then the manga turning out to be a huge letdown in many ways.) So I see all this outpouring of “AAAAAHH THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER” and I’m sitting here being kinda like “...meh”.

I mean, there’s nothing objectively wrong with Fruits Basket, I’m sure it’s great if you’re into the sort of thing it does. And I’m sure people who have fond memories of the manga and/or the first anime, or are into its genre will enjoy this show tremendously. But it’s never been the kind of stuff that speaks to me, personally. And this episode just served to remind me that if anything I’d gotten even less tolerant of these character archetypes and tropes being presented in such a pure and undiluted manner. (And yes I know, manga readers, but as I said above I did find the manga a letdown.) If I was feeling generous I’d call it old-school, but I’m not so I’ll just say that I found this episode outdated. 

But, well, there was Nakamura Yuuichi doing well as Shigure, and I sorta look forward to seeing Ayame and Hatori, so I guess I’ll keep watching until they appear.

Kono oto tomare:

Did anyone say “tropes”? Holy crap this episode was full of them, and again, not in a fun way. Really, all along I was thinking about how much better it could have been if they just summarized this episode (and I guess the upcoming bunch of episodes) in like five minutes and just skipped to the part where something interesting happens, because anyone who didn’t know exactly what was going to happen, and how, after Kudou showed up has to be a complete and total newbie to anime/manga. I have read some bits and pieces of this manga and I enjoyed them so I kind of hope I didn’t just luck out with coming across the fun bits.

(Also, if I never see yet another “troubled high-school bad boy with a heart of gold who just wants to belong” character it’ll be too soon. I’m so tired of them.)

Fairy Gone: 

aka PA Works really, really wants a hit show in North America. Out of the three shows this week this was the one I enjoyed the most, although that’s not saying much, especially because I mainly enjoyed it for what we saw of the world design, and the character designs... not the monster designs, though, those looked unimpressive.

Anyway, so far the show is... well, it’s alright? It tries a bit too hard, and takes itself way too seriously for something that doesn’t seem to be all that deep, and it’s building on all too familiar tropes and beats. But who knows, it might just end up worth watching. Then again, this is what I was hoping for Sirius the Jaeger, and look how that ended up. Also, as much as I appreciate PAW making some effort to move away from their usual visual style (that is, to me, an instant turn-off), I’d appreciate it even more if they made enough effort to stop with the permablush on their female characters designated as “cute”. It’s just visually annoying.

So yeah, I wasn’t impressed with this week, I hope I’ll have better luck with next week. Especially with Double Decker EX#3! Please show, please - if you have to go, go out with a bang! But I’m secretly still hoping for a second season, as unlikely as that is.

[fatestemptress]

Paramount Remembrances - Chapter 6

Summary: Dean Winchester has reached a point in his life where he doesn’t have many firsts left to fulfill.  Except maybe falling in love.  This is the story of how he got there. Warnings: Smut. Lots and lots of smut.  Oral (male & female receiving). Dry humping.  Backseat sex. Teaching/Guiding.  Rough Sex.  Mild Dom & Sub dynamics.  Angst. 18 Plus ONLY! Pairings: Young Dean x OFC, Dean x OFC, Dean x Reader (Eventually) Word Count On this Chapter: 6,740 (Sorry?)

Please note, this is unbeta’d.  Any and all grammatical errors are mine.  (And I’m sure there are PLENTY. :)) 

A/N: Sooo, it seems like I can’t keep these chapters short anymore.  Apologies?  LOL. 

Thank you to all that have liked, commented and reblogged. It truly makes my day and gets me so excited to continue. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dean was twenty-nine when he realized he needed to be in control…..and when someone taught him letting go was even better.

Dean knew all about pain, suffering, screaming in agony when no one would hear him.

Dean knew all about inflicting that same pain on someone else.

Dean also knew the shame of liking that pain and burying it deep inside of him under the proverbial lock and key, never letting it come to the surface of his life.

Because Dean had been in Hell.

And even though he was now out and about and mingling in the world of the living, he had to fight every day to maintain his sanity.  To push his worst nightmares somewhere in the back of his dark mind and keep up the façade of the old Dean Winchester.  

But Dean felt that pain every day.  

And every day he still smiled at his brother and flirted with cute waitresses and basically made an ass of himself whenever he could as he desperately tried to chase that darkness away.

It wasn’t until he and Sammy were on a case that brought them to an S&M club in Nevada called Purgatory that he realized that there may be something better to take the darkness away.

Standing in the closed club at nine in the morning, in his Fed suit, a pad and pen in his hand, he tried so hard to listen to the statement the chick with a leather bustier and a nose ring that had a chain that attached to an earring was giving Sam but his eyes kept straying to the rack behind her.

The rack that eerily reminded him about his time down below.

And it was taking everything in him not to shudder in a mixture of disgust and something else.

Something he would never tell Sammy or anyone for that matter.

Those dark feelings that never wanted to truly go away and seemed to rear their ugly head in the worst moments.

“Dean?  Dean you okay?”

His brothers voiced knocked him  out of his staring contest with what he knew was an inanimate object across the room but it may as well have been breathing and waving at him jauntily for all the life he was giving it with his mind’s eye.

“Uh, yeah.  Yeah, I’m fine.”  He turned back to Nose Ring and cleared his throat before asking, “So, to summarize, you saw nothing, you heard nothing and you happened to stumble on the body when it was time to close up shop?”

Nose Ring rolled her overly lined eyes and pursed her lips, “No.  What I said was I didn’t hear anything because the music gets pretty loud in here and the private rooms can get a little wild so even if I did hear something, I wouldn’t have suspected that someone was getting their heart torn out of their chest.”

“And what about security footage?”

Dean saw Sam give him a strange look as Nose Ring gave him an exasperated one, “Like I just said, Dude, we don’t have security footage in the hallway for private rooms.  What we got is footage over the doorway for that hallway.  That’s it.”

Exasperated with his inability to stop staring at the various instruments of voluntary torture surrounding him, Dean turned his anger on Nose Ring, “First of all, don’t dude me.  You can address me as Agent or you can address me as Sir, whatever the fuck you prefer.  Second, can the attitude.  A man died here last week and from what I understand no one can tell us a Goddamn thing as to who may or may not have killed him, so if I want to ask the same damn questions fourteen fucking times, I will.”

Immediately, Nose Ring’s eyes cast down and she pointedly looked at Dean’s chest as she answered him with a meek, “Yes, Sir.  I’m sorry, Sir.”

Dean’s breath caught in his throat for the longest thirty seconds of his life as he saw all the will drain out the girl in front of him.  

And damn him if his cock didn’t twitch in his pants at the sight.

Sam cleared his throat a little uncomfortably, giving Dean a look, “Uh, it’s fine, Natalie.  Please ignore my partner.  He, uh, didn’t have his coffee yet and it makes him a little cranky.  Who can we speak to about getting the security footage you do have?”

A door creaked open from behind them and a melodic voice rang out, “You can speak to me.  I’m the owner.”

Dean and Sam turned around to face the woman walking towards him.  Dean heard Sam take a deep gulp and he wondered if his dumbfounded expression mirrored his own.  

Long wavy auburn hair cascaded down her back and framed a pair of intense bright blue eyes.  But what caught Dean’s attention was the way her body was encased in a one piece leather catsuit.  Laces lined the sides at her hipbones revealing smooth creamy skin in between the criss cross pattern.  Matching laces criss crossed over her chest and framed high full breasts.

Sam’s mouth opened then closed as he stared and then blinked before he tried to look everywhere but at the woman in front of him.  Meanwhile, as Dean’s eyes finished their trek from the point of her black patent leather stiletto heels to the top of those breasts, he raised them up to meet her gaze head on.

“Miss Shayla!” Natalie squeaked, “I didn’t want to interrupt.  But these men-.”

Shayla flicked her gaze over to Natalie and he watched them soften, “It’s fine, Natalie.  Why don’t you see if Mr. Smith in room one needs more water before he leaves, hmm?”

Natalie nodded as she looked down to the floor, “Yes, Ma’am.”  She answered as she scuttled past them and through the door her boss had just come through.    

“So, gentleman, from what I heard, you are looking for security footage?  May I ask your names?”

Sam cleared his throat and scratched behind his ear before bringing out his Fed badge as Dean did the same, “Uh, yes, I’m Agent Young and this is my partner, Agent Bonham.”

Shayla glanced at their badges and nodded, “My apologies for not being here earlier gentleman.  I had an early appointment and was unaware that you would be coming in today to investigate.”  She gestured a hand towards her outfit, “Hence, the clothing.”

Dean licked the inside of his lip, “When you say appointment, you mean you had some poor sucker tied up in there actively asking for you to beat him and paying for it?”

Shayla smiled at Dean cajolingly, “When I say appointment, I mean, I have a client who asks for discretion and unless he is a part of this investigation, I suggest we move on to what you need.”

Oh, if she only knew what he needed right now.

Sam smiled, making sure to flash her a dimple, as he once again gave Dean a look of recrimination, “Of course Ma’am.  So, about that camera footage…”

The whole time Shayla and Sam pulled up the needed footage at the front desk of the club, Dean remained quiet and tried his best not to stare a hole into the lovely Shayla’s head. Between actively trying not to stare at the contraptions around the room and the exposed skin of Shayla’s body, Dean was giving himself a migraine with all of this ‘not looking’ he was doing.

“Thank you, Ma’am.” Sam was saying as he pocketed the memory stick he had downloaded the footage of that night on, “If we need anything, we’ll be sure to give you a call.”

Shayla nodded her head at Sam and as they both made their way to the exit, her voice rang out, “Agent Bonham?  May I have a word with you please?”

Sam stopped in his tracks as Dean raised an eyebrow at her in question, “Yeah?”

“Alone?”

Millions of thoughts ran through his head and he tried to figure out what she could possibly want with him.  He didn’t think his silence would equate as charm so it’s not like she was enamored by that.

Sam held back a small smile as he grasped his brother by the shoulder and gave it a pat, “I’ll, uh, be at the car.”  

Once Sam was out the door, Dean turned back to Shayla with a questioning gaze, “Soooo, what can I do for you?”

Shayla’s hips swayed as she glided towards him, her manner changing in the steps she took towards him, aggression suddenly leaking off of her curvy frame, “It’s not what you can do for me, Agent.  It’s what I can do for you.”

Some of his cockiness returned and he lifted his lips in a half smirk, “Oh yeah?  And what’s that?”

She stopped directly in front of him, so close he could smell the musky perfume she wore, “I saw you looking at the toys we have here.  And it was with more than a passing interest, Agent.”

Dean’s smile dropped, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She raised one delicate eyebrow as her fingers toyed with the end of one of the laces at her chest, “Oh yes, you do.”  She turned and sashayed towards the rack in the corner that had been taunting him earlier.

For the first time, he saw the back of her outfit and he took in the roundness of her firm, high ass encased in the leather she was wearing.  On anyone else, on any other day, he would have appreciated the show but when she ran her hands over the metal bars framing the rack, that thick feeling hit him in the gut again and he swallowed.  Hard.

“Is there something you want, Agent?”  She said in a low tone, before she reached down and ran her hands up and down the metal bars suggestively, her blue eyes burning into his, “Perhaps something you need?”

Dean took a deep breath, and forced his face into a scowl, “I don’t submit.  If that’s what you’re asking.”

Shayla gave him a dark smile and turned, leaning against the metal bars, “You sure about that?”

“Positive.”

With a contemplative smile, Shayla crossed her arms in front of her, “Well, I heard you make poor Natalie almost cream in her panties earlier.  That was very interesting.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“That twenty-something little darling that was here talking to you gentleman before?  She’s a submissive.  And she loves when a man gets all growly on her.  And when I heard you through the door, I thought for sure you were a natural Dom but then I come out here and you can’t keep your pretty little green eyes off of all of our toys and I wondered if it was all a cover up.”  She tilted her head in contemplation, her auburn hair sliding across the leather of her suit with a whisper, “Or are you that unaware of what you want?”

Dean lifted his lips in a sneer, “Listen lady, let’s get a couple of things clear.  One, I don’t pay for tail.  Two, if I want something, I go get it.   And three, I. Don’t. Submit.”

He could swear he saw Shayla shiver from her position against the bars as she hummed low in contemplation before glided back towards him, “I’ll tell you what.”  She returned to standing right in front of him, her body millimeters away from his, “Why don’t you come back here tonight as my special guest and I will submit to you.  No payment necessary.”

Dean gave her a suspicious look, “I didn’t think you could do that.  I thought you would be either one or the other.”

Shayla winked at him, “Show’s how much you know.”  Her breath quickened slightly as her eyes slid down to his lips, “I’m what is called a switch. I can happily do either or.  I just make my living off of being a Mistress.” She ran her tongue across her teeth, “You should also know that this isn’t always about sex.  It’s about release.  And I don’t mean just a physical release either. I myself don’t always have sex with my clients.  I’m very particular with who I do and do not allow to go there.”  She raised an eyebrow, misinterpreting his hesitation, “As a reminder, Agent Bonham, it is perfectly legal and regulated here, so you should feel safe in that respect.”

Dean looked down at her, staring into her eyes and noticing her pert little nose, so out of place with the aggressive nature of her body language and he couldn’t say he wasn’t a little curious.

Having her body splayed out for him, ready to take it as rough as he could give it….

He bit the inside of his lip as he held back the groan threatening to make its way out.

Oh, yeah.  He could do this.

“What time?”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*

Dean was back at the club at 11:00 PM.  He had showered and changed out his black Fed suit and slipped on his blue back up one without the tie and the top two buttons of his white dress shirt open. After he and Sam had reviewed the security footage, it seemed all walks of life entered the club, but business men seemed to pay for the more pricier option of having a private room and since there was no way Dean was going to wear fishnets or leather, this seemed like the better option.

Explaining to Sam that he was going back to “investigate” the club during peak hours without him, proved to be more difficult than he thought.  Sam didn’t want Dean going to potentially hostile territory without back up and was being hot headed about it.  Finally, Dean had no choice to be semi-honest about his intentions.

“All right, fine,” Dean said with an annoyed huff as he looped his belt through his dress pants, “Shayla invited me back as a guest.  And if I’m gonna rock her world, I’d rather rock her world without knowing my little brother was waiting outside the door for me to finish.”

Sam’s eyebrows raised and he let out a low laugh, “Really, Dean?  Aren’t you a little afraid she’s gonna try and use a whip on that lily white ass?”

Dean pursed his lips and adjusted his suit jacket, “Aint nobody whipping anybody, Sam.”

“Suuuuure.  We’ll see how true that is when you’re walking funny tomorrow, Dean.”

And now, waiting in the main area of the club to be escorted to the room Shayla would be meeting him in, he wondered for the slightest of seconds just how far he was willing to take this.  Watching all of the many scenes being played out around him, noting some of the more intense ones which were not for him, and some of the tamer options that had his heart beating a little faster and caused a bead of sweat to start to form on his temple, left him contemplating what Hell had really done to him.  He knew every day since waking up that he was no longer the same.  He tried to be.  He truly did. But something was broken inside him.

And he didn’t think the strongest glue in the world was going to be able to put him back together.

“Sir?”

Dean was jerked out of his thoughts by the timid voice next to him and was surprised to see Natalie standing there, pointedly looking at his neck and not his face.

“Natalie.  Hi.  Uh, listen about earlier….”

She gave a small smile but didn’t acknowledge where he was trying to go with this statement, “If you’ll please follow me.  Miss Shayla is in room seven.”

Dean quirked his mouth but let the avoidance slide and followed Natalie down to the hall of private rooms.  A large security guard with an ear piece and wearing a suit stood outside the doorway and nodded his head at him before opening the door for the both of them. Another security guard stood on the inside of the door with a duplicate suit and ear piece.  This time Natalie spoke to him quietly, “Mr. Bonham is Miss Shayla’s special guest tonight.  She is asking not to be disturbed unless it is an emergency.  They will be in room seven.”

Dean noted with interest as the guard made a notation on a clipboard hanging off of a small table before following Natalie down the plush carpet to a mahogany doorway with the number seven etched into it.  She motioned to the door and started to turn away when Dean stopped her.

“Uh, Natalie?  Hold on for a second.  Has that guard always been on the other side of the door?”

Natalie shook her head, “No. Miss Shayla posted him here and started having them keep better track of the rooms after the incident.  Before, it was pretty much free reign here on club nights unless you wanted a private with one of the employees.  You and your guest found an available room and that was it.”

Dean nodded, “Thanks, Natalie.”  He said before turning to the door and opening it.

Dean wasn’t sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t Shayla sitting in a black trench coat in an armless red velvet chair with her legs and arms crossed, a small smile on her red painted lips.  Around the room were a large bed and various sex toys all new, packaged and ready to open. Some of them Dean knew what they were, others made his forehead scrunch in confusion.  But in the center of the room was a tame version of the rack outside that made his heart beat faster and his mouth go dry as a desert.   This rack was made to be lay on with a leather bench in between black metal bars with hooks and rings ready for various instruments.

Shayla stood up and started to glide over to him, “Hello, Dean.  Or would you rather, Sir for tonight?”

Dean let out a low hum at her words and couldn’t help but lick his dry bottom lip, “I, uh, I’m not…Listen, I’ve never done this before so I’m not sure what the rules are, if any.”

Shayla reached him and ran a hand over the lapel of his jacket, her bright blue eyes looking up into his with intensity, “Oh there are rules.  Plenty of them.  But we’ll keep it simple tonight and use a color code.  Red meaning stop, yellow meaning I need a break and green meaning fuck yeah, keep going.”  At Dean’s nod she continued, “I like it rough and am pretty much up for anything.  Any hole you want is yours ‘cause I like it all.” At Dean’s indrawn breath she smirked, “However, I do ask if you take my ass that you be gentle at first.  I didn’t take out the whips and canes because you are not a trained Dom and you may unintentionally hurt me and once I’m in a headspace I may not be able to say no immediately.  However, there are handcuffs, collars, nipple clamps, vibrators, dildos-”

Dean’s eyes closed briefly and took in a deep breath before letting it out slowly and interrupting her, his nerves getting the best of him, “Uh, okay.  I get it.”

Shayla smiled again, and this time there was an almost gentle quality to it, “You may not know this, but I can tell, you need this.  And it’s okay to need it.”  She pressed her body against his, her lips an inch from his own as her breath caressed against the dryness of his mouth, “Now, stop hesitating and take control.” She dropped her eyes and her arms fell by her side, “Sir.”

Dean groaned at the term and closed his eyes for the briefest of moments wondering to himself if he’d lost his damn mind coming here.  But something inside of him had drawn him in and if he didn’t let it out soon, he was going to explode.

Suddenly, his back went rigid and he felt his eyes harden slightly as he started to circle around her before stopping back in front of her.  His hands moved to the trench coat and he slowly undid the belt to reveal the black lace bra, thong and garters holding up the black silky stockings that were poured into a pair of black stiletto heels.  He hummed in pleasure before slipping the trench coat off her shoulders and threw it into a corner of the room.

“This….is fucking delicious.”  He groaned out before reaching up and sliding his hand into the back of her neck, into her hair, pulling on the strands until her face was tilted up to his, “Look at me.”

Shayla’s blue eyes tilted up to his as he licked his lower lip, “I want you to look at me when I talk to you, unless I say different, are we clear?”

Shayla nodded.

“Uh uh.  Speak.”  He growled out.

“Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.”  He watched as she visibly shuddered at the term and he had to swallow deep before continuing, “You wanna be my good girl, Shayla?”

“Yes, please, Sir.” She mewled out.

Dean leaned down and ran his tongue over her pulse point before biting down gently and then a little harder as he heard her moan.  He lifted his head and pulled her hip against his growing erection before meeting her eyes with his own, “Good girls don’t come until I tell them to.  Understand?”

“Yes, Sir.”

He shifted his hips against her, growling at the friction, “But you can beg all you want cause I do love to hear my good girls beg.”

Shayla couldn’t stop the whine from leaving her mouth as she brushed her bra covered nipples over his suit jacket, making them rise into hard nubs.

Noticing what she was doing, Dean reached down and slapped one of her ass cheeks, relishing in her moan as he soothed against the sting he created and tsked at her, “No, baby, you don’t get to do that.  I only get to touch those until I tell you different.  In fact, you don’t get to touch your pussy either.  Now, go sit on the edge of the bed.”  

He watched as she followed his order and he let out a small moan at the sight of his handprint on her ass before biting his lip and reaching down, palming himself through his dress pants.  He was already throbbing with need and they had just started.

It scared him how much he needed this.  How the inner turmoil from all he had endured left him feeling broken and while this wasn’t going to heal him he could already feel it soothing a part of the rage that never seemed to fade.  

Shayla expected nothing from him.  Wanted nothing from him.  She was his to temporarily control.  And it made him ache in a whole new delicious way.

Her eyes met his from her perch on the bed and she waited patiently for further instruction, but she had kept her legs wide open and he could see that her thong was pulled between her bald pussy lips and she rocked forward slightly letting the lace rub against her throbbing core.

His eyes narrowed as he made his way over to her.   He reached down and pulled the thong up even tighter against her pussy and relished in her gasp as he moved it rhythmically against her, “Already being a bad girl I see. Trying to get around my rules?”

Shayla bit her bottom lip and squirmed against the pressure of the thong against her clit, “I’m sorry, Sir. I can’t help it.  Feels so good.”

Dean hummed before reaching down with his other hand, grasping the thin straps of her thong and ripping them off of her one side at a time, leaving the scraps to flutter to the bed as she gasped, “Such a bad girl.”  His fingers smoothed down the front of her pussy and he let out a sound of pleasure when he found her already soaked, “So fucking wet already.”  He rubbed against her clit with his thumb and playfully flicked it, “Only I get to touch.  I won’t tell you again.”

Shayla’s hips lifted into Dean’s caresses and she nodded, “Yes, Sir.  I’m sorry, Sir.  It won’t happen again.”  She gasped out.

Dean took her hand and brought it to the zipper of his pants, “Take out my cock baby girl.”

Shayla eagerly unzipped his pants and reached into his boxer briefs before bringing out his throbbing cock without unbuttoning his pants.  Her eyes widened at the sight and Dean felt a bead of precome slide out the tip. She rolled her eyes up to his, “May I please suck it, Sir?”

With a smirk, Dean grasped his cock in his hands and rolled the tip over lips, spreading the moisture before nodding, “Open.”

Her mouth opened eagerly and she rolled her tongue over the tip before swallowing his cock down her throat in one stroke making his eyes roll into the back of his head, “Fuck!”

She hummed over her mouthful and quickly started an up and down motion, letting out mewls of pleasure before she released him and used her tongue to flick over the sensitive head. Dean quickly released his belt buckle and button.  She helped him pull his pants and boxer briefs down his thighs before rolling her eyes up to meet his as she lifted his cock and ran her tongue all the way down to the base and nuzzled at his balls before bringing one into her mouth and gently sucking it.

Dean’s fingers tightened their grip on her hair and groaned, “Such a good girl.  Knows just what her Sir likes already.”  His fingers tightened even further, “Stop.”  He said firmly, his deep voice reverberating through the room.

Immediately, Shayla stopped, releasing him with a pop, “Yes, Sir.”

Dean shrugged off his suit jacket and threw it to the side before unbuttoning his dress shirt and sliding it down his arms.  He toed off his shoes before sliding down his pants and underwear and removed his socks. He watched Shayla’s eyes devour every inch of skin that was revealed and her body language was telling him she wanted to touch him but wouldn’t until he said so.

And God help him but it was such a fucking head rush.

Naked, he took her hand in his and brought it to the top of his chest, “Does my good girl wanna touch?”

Her blue eyes shimmered at him as she licked her lips, “Yes, Sir.  So badly.  Can I use my tongue?”

Dean took a deep breath in, “I don’t know if you deserve that yet.  Lean back on the bed and let me see how badly you really want it.”

Shayla shimmied back and leaned on her elbows, her legs wide open, revealing her wet core as it shined in the dim light of the room.

Dean gripped his cock in his hand and stroked it once, twice at the sight before squeezing at the base, “I don’t know.  It doesn’t look like you really want this.”

Shayla squirmed on the bed, rolling her hips wantonly, “Please, Sir.  Touch me and see how much I want you.”

Dean hummed and ran his hand up one smooth thigh, his finger hooking in the straps of the garter belt, “I think I need to taste just to make sure.”  

Kneeling on the floor, Dean threw her leg over his shoulder and bit at the inside of one of her thighs and heard her gasp into the air as her hips rocked up at the sensation.  He soothed the bite with a swipe of his tongue before sliding his tongue to her dripping pussy.  He gave her one long swipe from the bottom to the top and heard her moan as he flicked her clit with his tongue.  He brought his mouth back down to her hole and stabbed at it, humming as more slick slid out of her, “That’s much better.  Such a good girl getting yourself so wet for me.”  He heard Shayla whine and he felt her fingers against his nose as she starting rubbing at her clit.

Dean’s eyes narrowed and he stopped her hand as he clicked his tongue at her, “Naughty.  I told you no touching.  You’re gonna have to be punished for that.”  

Shayla bit her bottom lip and let out a sound, “I’m sorry, Sir.  I can’t help it.  Feels so good.”

Ignoring her, he grabbed up both of her legs and bent them at the knee, bringing them to her chest, “Hold your legs.  Don’t bring them down until I tell you or you’ll just make this worse.”  At her nod, one eyebrow rose at her as his lips pursed slightly, “Don’t you dare fucking come unless I tell you to.”

Shayla let out a rough breath, “Yes, S-.”

Dean roughly dived in her pussy and sucked the whole thing into his mouth.  Hard.  At Shayla’s cry, he took two fingers and shoved them in before massaging at the rough spot he found in there and brought his lips to her clit, alternating between rapidly flicking at it and laying his tongue roughly against it.

“Oh, God.  Sir!  Please!”

Dean hummed against her, before lifting his mouth and using his thumb to press down on her clit, watching as she threw her head back against the bed, her fingers grasping her legs so tightly she was leaving behind marks.

“Do you think you deserve to come?”  He asked as he rubbed even harder, “I told you not to touch yourself and you didn’t listen.”

“I’m sorry, Sir.”

Dean slapped at the side of her ass with his free hand and watched as she jerked up and moaned in desperation.  His cock gave a jerk at the sight and he had to fight to keep his own desperate groan from escaping.  “You want it so badly don’t you?”

“Yes!  Yes, please!”

He rubbed at her clit even faster, his fingers stroked even quicker, “You would love it if I stuck my cock in there right now and fucked you into this bed until you came screaming?”

“Yessssss.”

Abruptly, Dean took his hand off of her, “No.”  At her sob, Dean smirked, “Told you not to touch.”  

He reached down onto the floor where his discarded pants lay and pulled out a condom from his back pocket, quickly sliding it over his erection.  He nudged her legs down and reached underneath her as she lay gasping.  Her eyes glittered up at him and he flicked open her bra, releasing her mouthwatering breasts to the room.  He hummed at the sight, before leaning down and sucking one rosy nipple into his mouth.  His cock nudged at her opening and he rolled his hips, sliding it through all the slick.

He moaned around her nipple and flicked it with his tongue, before sitting up slightly, “Turn over.”

Immediately, she flipped herself onto her hands and knees with her back arched, “Please, Sir. Please fuck me.  Want it so bad.”

At her words, Dean slid a hand over the globe of an ass cheek, up her back and into her hair before he grasped it in his hand and tugged it back roughly.  He pulled her up to lay her back against his chest, his mouth at her ear, “So eager.  I fucking love to hear you beg.  It makes me so fucking hard.”  He bit at the lobe of her ear, “Are you ready?”

She tried to nod but Dean’s grip on her hair made it impossible and she let out a desperate whine, “Yes.  Yes, please.”

He pulled her head back even further, the column of her neck tight, “Yes, please who?”

“Sir.  Yes, please, Sir.”

With that, Dean pushed her forward and entered her balls deep in one smooth stroke, reveling in her scream as he immediately started to pound in and out of her roughly.  He could feel her start to tighten around him almost instantly and punctuated his words with rough thrusts, “Don’t.  You. Dare.”

Shayla let out a loud sob and he saw her bite down onto the beds comforter as she desperately held back on her orgasm, “Please!”  She begged, “Please, Sir, let me come.”

Dean’s eyes were starting to lose focus as her warm slick walls kept grabbing on to him in earnest. The squelching sounds of her arousal and his rough grunts started to reach a crescendo and he could feel his balls tightening up indicating he didn’t have long left before he filled up the condom with his come.

He slapped her ass with a loud smack and reveled in her scream as he rubbed away the sting, “Such a bad girl making me want to come so quickly.”  At his words, she tightened herself around him and he let out a strangled noise and he knew he was a goner.  He reached underneath her and started to roughly rub at her clit, “Come. Now.”

At his words, Shayla let out a hoarse yell and her walls started to spasm around him.  With a grunt, Dean fucked her through her orgasm before he gripped her waist and pounded into her so hard he saw stars as he finally released into the condom with a loud, “FUCK!”

Gasping, he rolled away from Shayla’s heaving back and lay on the bed next to her as she remained on all fours.  He watched as her glazed eyes cleared, her gaze flicking to his as she smirked at him.

“Well, well, Agent. Looks like you really know how to fuck a bad girl into submission.”  Her gaze hardened, “Now, get your ass on the rack.”

Dean’s eyebrows scrunched together, as his heart started to pound, “Pardon?”

Shayla rolled garter clad hips as she crawled to him and threw a leg over his waist, straddling him. She reached for both of Dean’s hands and with surprising strength she yanked his arms over his head and pinned them down with her weight, “Did you think that was it, Dean?  Did you think you were gonna walk outta here without getting your own punishment?  Silly, silly man.”

Dean felt his stomach clench in desire and maybe a little trepidation as he looked up into her burning blue eyes, “Wha-what are you talking about?”

A smirk lifted one side of her mouth and she licked at her bottom lip, “You fooled yourself into thinking that the release you needed was me being obedient to you and while you are very good at ordering me around, I think you’ll be even better at taking orders.  Now,” Shayla leaned down and licked at Dean’s neck before biting down roughly, “Get on the rack.”  

Dean shuddered at her tone of voice, her words bringing back feelings that he thought he had buried down into that twisted part of him that he never wanted to let out.  That part of him that clawed at his psyche every day and left a part of him a pitiful mess.      

Dean didn’t submit.  Not anymore.  He told himself that he would never be at anyone’s mercy ever again. No matter how much he may actually want it.

As Shayla stared down at him, some of the hardness in her expression faded and she took a deep breath, “I promise to take good care of you, Dean.  You need this.  You want this.  Let me help you find that release.”

Dean swallowed hard and blinked rapidly before he closed his eyes and let out a long deep breath, when he opened them he felt something in him give in and he nodded, “Yes…..?”

Shayla’s face shifted back to that intense stare, “Mistress will do fine, Agent.” Shayla shifted off of him and stood on the floor in her stilettos.  “Now get up.”

“Yes, Mistress.”

Dean felt like his head was empty and everything around him was fading until all he knew, all he heard was his Mistress’ commands.  He lay down on the bench and obediently allowed her to cuff his hands and legs to the metal bars.  

She showed him where there were safety latches and at any point he could release himself, “But I doubt you’re gonna want that, right Agent?”  Without waiting for him to answer, she asked him, “What are your colors, Dean?”

He stared up at her, the blue of her eyes the only color he could sense in the room.  But he knew that’s not the answer she was looking for, “Red for stop.  Yellow, slow down.  Green, keep going.”

“Very good.”  She said as stepped out of his field of vision.

He could hear water running and he guessed there must have been a sink somewhere in the room.  She reappeared next to him with a wet washcloth and she quickly disposed of the used condom on his half hard member before cleaning his cock and balls with precision, “I like my toys fresh.”  She tossed the washcloth to the side and straddled his waist, “I already washed up at the sink, but I don’t think I cleaned it up enough.  I think my toy needs to stick his tongue way up inside of me and make sure I got every drop of my come out.  What do you think, Agent?  Will you clean me up like a good boy?”

Dean felt his cock give a jerk at her words before he nodded eagerly, “Yes, Mistress.  I want to clean you all up.”

Shayla pinched a nipple in between her fingers roughly, letting out a hum as Dean gasped, “Good boy.” She pinched his other nipple and let out a low laugh at his yelp, “Oh, yes.  My toy likes it when I pinch his nipples.  Maybe I should bite them next.”  Without waiting for him to answer, Shayla leaned down and bit down hard on a nipple before gently laving it with her tongue, making him cry out, “I love that sound.  Let me see how many times I can make you do it.”

Dean lost count after twenty-five times.  He knew for sure twenty-five times he yelled out in ecstasy at the delicious burn of pain that was on the precipice of pleasure.  After that, the rest was a blur of moans, slaps, and thrusting hips as he licked her out and ate at her with a hunger to appease her that he didn’t know he had in him. He had begged her to suck his cock faster, his hips lifting into her mouth before she grasped him tightly at the base of his dick, effectively stopping him from coming, over and over again.  

He was going crazy.

She was gonna kill him.

He hated it.  He loved it.  

And when she finally slid him inside of her and rode him so roughly his cock felt like it was going to break, she blessedly gave him permission to come.

And when he came, something inside of him finally, finally released.  It was more than pleasure. It was more than pain.  It was something he didn’t know he needed.  

He let go.

After, when he finally made his way back to a rapidly speaking Sam at the motel spouting off lore and his suspicions about it being Skinwalkers that were causing the deaths, Dean only nodded and smiled at his brother affectionately.

“Sure, Sammy.  We’ll go over the lore and see if we can find out where they’re holed up.”

Sam stopped his blathering for one second and looked, really looked at his brother for the first time since he walked in.  His eyes skimmed over his features before staring into Dean’s eyes in contemplation, “You….you okay, Dean?  You look….I dunno…almost….peaceful, I guess?”

Dean let out a small smile and placed his suit jacket over the back of a chair, “I’m good, Sammy.” At Sam’s earnest look, he let his smile drop and gave him serious eyes, “I’m….better.”

Sam’s eyes flicked over his face one more time before he released a long sigh, “That..that’s good. I’m glad.”

“So am I.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*        

Dean was thirty-one when he fell in love.  And it scared him shitless.

Chapter 7 - Part 1

@akshi8278 @curly-haired-disaster @chook007 @scorpiongirl1 @pisces-cutie @winchesterbroys

[straydays7-blog]

My Day6inNYC Experience!

EDIT: I typed this up in word and pasted it into Tumblr. Tumblr kinda make some things look a little weird so excuse that please.

This is super late coming but as soon as I left NYC I had to cram for a ton of exams and now that most of those are over I can take the time to talk about my experience seeing Day6 perform live and even hi-touching them;;;; This post might be a little bit all over the place, but I cant help but to feel SO MANY FEELINGS when I think about this okay. Its still so surreal I cant believe it actually happened it felt like a really good dream okay. Also, I wish my English were better to express myself here I have so many emotions I wish to express but honestly, I dont know how Id even describe these feelings in any other languages I know SO ILL TRY MY BEST WITH ENGLISH. Also, fair warning, thisll probably be really long so prepare yourself.

Okay, first things first. I arrived like 30 mins early to pick up my P2 wristband and apparently had I been a little earlier I could have seen day6 enter the Town Hall! Somehow, even though I was not the first that arrived at the venue to pick up my wristband, I did end up being first in the P2 line. And lord behold. Someone opened the backstage door. Then and there, I caught a glimpse of Sungjin, playing his guitar singing his part in the You Were Beautiful chorus. EVERYONE AROUND ME STARTED SCREAMING LOL. I was in such shock. Sungjin is so beautiful (in present tense) and has one of the best voices Ive ever heard okay. I dont think I really realized until then I was going to see Day6, like the band that inspires me to work hard every day and makes me so happy. Even though I had bought the ticket and everything that brought me to NYC, it felt surreal and then I knew it was R E A L. Theyre real and I was about to watch them perform live and even meet them afterwards like what the heck? After getting my wristband, I picked up a fanproject banner that would later be used to move day6 to tears:) These boys are so wholesome.

I went back to my hotel for a while after that because it was rainy and windy so walking around didnt sound so nice. Around 5:30 I left to get a bite to eat and then head back to the venue. Ended up getting a burger at Five Guys (and okay totally off topic from seeing Day6, but the Five Guys burger I had in NYC was so much better than any Ive had here in VA? Or maybe excitement makes stuff taste better.) I arrived at the venue at like 6:00 and the line was already pretty long! There were some My Days handing out photocards and I bought a Sungjin badge from one girl. (This experience is gonna make me sound so Sungjin biased but omg my bias is definitely Young K)

Once I was in the Town Hall I decided to buy a lightstick to cheer for the band! Id already ordered some of the other merch from the Subkulture Shop, because I was literally only traveling with one backpack and didnt want to buy more than I could fit in to take back home.

I had no idea on which side my seat would be, I only knew I would be 12 rows away from the stage. So, when I found my seat I was beyond happy to see I was on Young K and Wonpils side of the stage omg. With a really clear view of the both of them also! All the MyDays there were so sweet man, I had a great time talking with some while waiting for the concert to begin. Though I do honestly really wish that @mikulinneamew or @reading-river would have been there with me. Day6s instruments were already set on the stage and oh my goodness I fell in love with Sungjins Gibson Les Paul. Its white body with the black pickguard and golden hardware is SO BEAUTIFUL. Makes me want to go out and buy a Les Paul just like it, but going to this concert I used money I was originally saving for a new Fender P-Bass (That aint happening for a while now lol) but I am so not complaining. Sungjins Martin acoustic is also really beautiful, but I still prefer Taylors. Young Ks bass is also super pretty. Really, I was drooling over these instruments while waiting for the concert to begin.

Its two minutes before the concert was set to begin and everyone is already chanting “DAY6! DAY6! DAY6! DAY6!”. Shortly after the lights went dark and the screen behind the stage started to play a video introducing the members (And can I say I love how so many of their songs were mashed up perfectly in that video like wow Id love the audio of just that)! One by one then the members came on stage. First Dowoon, then Wonpil, followed by Young K, Jae and last but not least, leader Sungjin! While the video was finishing playing I could see Young K getting his bass tuned and ready to perform. I started tearing up here already because they were right in front of me? Unreal, but yet so real.

And then, the first song was: I WAIT! One of my favorite songs already ;; (what am I saying, all of their songs are my favorites) Such a high energy song for the first one. It was perfect to get the crowd hyped and pumped for what was to come! Then there was me crying of happiness and singing along though omg. DAY6 IS SO COOL PERFORMING. Sungjin and Jae rocking out on their guitars, Young K thumping on the Bass, Wonpil playing the Synth and Dowoon rocking the drums! I loved how connected the audience was with the band too like out of all the live performances from bands Ive seen, this one was definitely the one with the most chemistry with the audience and music! All of the “I WAIT!” chants were so nice to hear with the music aaaa. THE SONG ENDED SO FAST. All songs went by so quick really, but hey that just means youre having a great time.

The second song was: HUNT! I was NOT prepared for this song so early on in the show already. If I had to summarize this performance in two words: Younghyuns rap (I love it so much). I really love the guitar riffs in this song so I payed a lot of attention to Jae and Sungjin at first but man, as soon as it was rapping time my eyes were focused on Young K. His rapping timbre is soooOOO darn good. And hes such a good performer too when he does it. HE FEELS EVERY WORD HE SAYS. Hunt is such a good song. I loved it. So much.

After the first two songs, lights went back on for a moment and Jae hyped up the audience! Young K shook his head the first time everyone made noise at Jaes request, but the second time Jae asked us to make some noise BOY THAT WAS GOOD VOLUME MYDAYS HAVE GREAT LUNGS.

That was followed by: IM SERIOUS! This song is so fluffy and catchy Im pretty sure everyone was singing along in the “I cant stop loving you” part. I mean, how could anyone stop loving day6 theyre so wholesome and talented and KIND AND SWEET. Wow. Its SO FUN to watch Sungjin play his acoustic guitar he was smiling the whole time. Everyone was smiling during that performance EVEN DOWOON HE WAS SO CUTE. Its such a sweet song how can you not smile playing it or listening to it. During the acapella part Young K was shooting finger hearts and did an AMAZING adlib. I was m e l t i n g. Turning me into a puddle.

The next song was: MAN IN A MOVIE! I REALLY LOVE THIS SONG A LOT. Another really soft and fluffy song, but soOOO musically interesting. Day6 is one of the few groups that not only produces earcandy, but earcandy that is also thinking candy for people who enjoy music theory (a n d I d o) This is the only day6 song Ive actually written out a fingerstyle ukulele arrangement for (totally weird instrument choice, but Im working on rewriting it for guitar LOL). Im EXTREMELY fond of everyones vocals on this song. Especially Sungjins and Young Ks :)

After this song it was game and Q&A time! I cant remember if the preference game or Q&A was first so Im just going to talk about the preference game first.

Firstly though, all the members introduced themselves. They all looked so happy that it made me even happier LOL. For the preference game, all of the audience had to stand up and participate in a game with day6! It was so fun! First up the audience had to guess which one Jae like more, by either raising their left or right arm: The statue of liberty or Brooklyn bridge. The right answer was Brooklyn bridge and the majority of the audience (including me) had guessed it right! The MyDays who guessed wrong, had to take their seat again. Second was Bob (Sungjin). I guessed his wrong already! >3< The question was if he preferred playing Overwatch or Fifa. The correct answer was Fifa. Sadly, most people had guessed this one wrong. Next was Dowoon. We had to guess if he prefers skirts or jeans on girls LOL. His answer was jeans but it got too loud that I couldnt quite hear his reasoning. Then was Young K. Does he prefer sneakers or high heels? His answer was sneakers, because high heels are very uncomfortable (he said hes even tried them on before what a cutie). Wonpil had the most far fetched question in my opinion it was kinda funny! The audience had to guess if he likes Ariel or Snow White more. His answer was Snow White because he feels more sorry for her. Lastly was a question that would decide the faith of a lot of Jae stans hair LOL. Does he like long hair or short hair better on girls? His answer was short hair, because it makes them seem more confident. After all of those guesses only four lucky MyDays out of about 1500 were left standing! They got invited onto the stage and got a bag full of (signed!) tour merch gifted to them by Day6! It was so sweet and kind that the winners even received such a gift from Day6 themselves!

MOVING ON TO THE Q&A! Before they picked their questions to answer, Sungjin said “This! Is! Paradise!” and Dowoon sang the “Oh you are My Daaay” part of their song MY DAY to the NYC MyDays. Wonpil went first to pick his question. While each member would choose their question, the audience would sing the jeopardy theme song. It was hilarious. He chose the question: “Where did your interest in music come from?” Right when he was about to answer the question someone in the audience screamed “I LOVE YOU YOUNG K” but Young K shut her down so fast saying “Its Wonpil time!” Wonpil was flustered for a sec but then resumed to answer his question and said that he listened to a lot of hip hop when he was young and that got him interested. Next up was Young K! He chose the question: “What was the funniest moment in your life?”. He began to say that since Chuseok hes been eating more. And his most funny moment was before he came onto the stage. Apparently his pants didnt fit him anymore and he had to expand them a bit! The way he told this story was utterly hilarious and cute I can highly recommend finding a fancam of this moment omg. After him was Dowoon. His question was: “If you could have a superpower what would it be?” He said he wishes he could talk to animals. When he was in college he had a pet cat which he neglected and now he feels bad for that. He said if he could only communicate with one kind of animal though it would be bear LOL. Sungjin started imitating a bear after that and it was so hilarious omg he puffed himself up and was clawing at him. Next was Sungjin! He was lowkey dancing along to the jeopardy theme omg. His question was: “What is the hardest thing you have ever done?”. He said working towards Day6s debut was the hardest time in his life ;; He shouted out collapsedone who helped them a lot towards their debut and he was actually at the concert right there ;; Jae was the last one to get a question. He chose: “What inspired you to pursue music?”. He said he was getting into a bunch of Youtube musicians and thought he should try it out too. He met Wong Fu Productions Phil who also further inspired him to pursue music. And so Yellowpostitman was born. That concluded the Q&A! Day6 left the stage for a quick moment while the NYC Vlog-like video they made for the tour started playing. This time it was Wonpils cut! It showed the boys having fun at times square (someone in the audience screamed I SEE MYSELF and everyone laughed it was so funny) and Wonpil loosing his phone while dancing on the street LOL. I really love this vlog concept they had to play during intermission its so sweet of them.

Once the vlog was over they came back on stage and started to perform You Were Beautiful. THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL. Its one of the first songs of theirs I heard that got me into them ;; I was tearing up during this whole performance its such a heartfelt song and you could truly feel the emotions of the song being conveyed in their performance. They all sing it so softly yet powerfully. I really love Young Ks vocal parts in this song and his voice was so stable too (everyones was really) aaa ;;

The next song they performed was their debut song CONGRATULATIONS! Everyone in the audience had received a red sticker to cover their phone flashlight with during this song to create a red ocean. I wasnt in a good seat so see if it was a success or not but the lighting definitely seemed more red :) Everyone was singing along to EVERY BIT of this song it was fantastic. I love this song so much aaa. Young Ks rap makes me feel so many FEELINGS. This song was over way too quick I wish itd last forever.

After Congratulations Jae was saying that the last two songs are coming now and everyone was getting a LIL SAD that the night was coming to an end soon. (Jae didnt count the encore though ;D) Jae also took a moment to tell everyone that they should follow their dreams and not let anyone tell them that they cant make it. Even when it seems impossible to make it to your dreams he believes that we can make the jump and achieve them ;; Hearing those words from him made me a sobbing mess. For a few reasons I think. Even just seeing them perform live was a dream come true. Being in NYC (if even just for two days) was a dream come true. Its a city Id been dreaming of seeing someday since I was a little kid. Probably because music as a career has almost always been my dream. And NYC is one of the worlds music capitals. I used to want to become a concert pianist. Then I wanted to become a music teacher. Right now Im leaning more towards songwriting, production and playing guitar LOL. But as someone whos in the position where I need to decide what I want to do with my future relatively soon, Jaes words helped me so much.

Their next song was LETTING GO! And oh my goodness. I was not prepared for those buttery sweet harmonies in the beginning. I was thinking so much about what Jae had said before during this performance so Im a little blank on what special happened during this performance but I totally remember it being mesmerizing;;

Their last song before encore was I SMILE! The fanchants on this one were so strong! Everyone held their banner up which read “My Day6 which I thought I only met in my dreams is right in front of me”. I could see Young K tear up when he read it. It was so sweet :) I do wish that Wonpils synth had been a tiny bit louder because he has that cool solo part in it, but I could hardly hear it. But the whole performance was so overwhelmingly beautiful that I was crying.

After performing I SMILE they left the stage and everyone started chanting “DAY6! DAY6!” again. Shortly after they came back on stage and THEY PERFORMED DANCE DANCE. This song is so upbeat and happy and makes you forget all the stress so much I love it to bits. I absolutely love Jaes guitar part in this song too so I tried to focus on him until Brians rap distracted me AGAIN (rapper K is my weakness okay). The entire performance was so high energy it was perfect buildup to the next song they performed which was also their last performance for the night. FREE하게! This is my go-to song for escaping from the stress of life and simply basking in how powerful music truly is. So, hearing it live, as the encore really touched me (and I cried more). I felt so many emotions go through me during this performance. It felt like a reminder of why I love music so much, which sometimes is well needed. Its so energetic and uplifting. My highlight of this performance: …Young Ks rap (wow surprise surprise). Also Sungjins high note! And Jae jumping into the crowd and hyping us up even more! (If Jae tells you to jump, you have to jump.) This performance was a perfect end for the concert. I really didnt want it to end though.

After this performance Day6 bowed and thanked the audience. I dont know where to begin describing how I felt after that. I still had the high touch left but the main event was over. I felt (still feel and always will) so extremely blessed to have been able to experience that. Theyre such a wholesome, hardworking and admirable band. I felt such extreme happiness.

The night was nearly over, but the hi-touch was still left for those who had purchased a P2 ticket! Id never done a hi-touch before, so I didnt know what to expect. I only knew itd go by super quick. What I did NOT expect however, is to walk around a corner and BAM there standing is Young K, Mr. Brian Kang, THE KANG YOUNGHYUN, BASSIST RAPPER GODLY VOCALS FULL TIME COLLEGE STUDENT BUT ALSO FULL TIME BANDMEMBER HE WORKS SO HARD OK. It is a lot to take in when you see your ultimate bias being the first in line for the hi-touch. My first thought was how pretty his NOSE is. Like dang, boys got the finest nose Ive ever seen. My second thought was how intimidating he seemed though omg. But as soon as it was my turn for a brief second with him it seemed like he was glowing and flowers were blooming around him? Hes got the sweetest smile and eyes. Instead of high fiving him I held onto his hand for a second and all I could say was “I love you so much” I WAS IN SUCH AWE. He gave my hand a bit of a squeeze and said he loves me back. SUCH A NICE MAN IM CRYING.   Then it was already time to move on though and next was Dowoon! My mind was completely blank from Young K being first (I was hoping hed be last for this reason LOL) I also grabbed onto Dowoons hand for a moment and I mustve not said anything at first, because he was like “Thank you!” first (his Korean accent is adorable) so I said thank you back to him and he then gave a teeny bow like how polite omg. Thats all I had with Dowoon though (Wish I could have said more I wanted to tell him how cool he is!) But next was Jae. First impression: Hes so TALL. Second impression: Hes so NICE. I think Jae made it a thing to keep eye contact with his fans for as much as he could. I told him “Thank you so much Jae” because man especially his speech about following dreams hit me hard as I had mentioned before. Hes honestly the member I was most thankful for that night (Im thankful for them all though please dont misunderstand!) I would have hugged him if I could. His face is so pretty up close too, how can someone manage to look handsome but like a personification of Chicken Little at the same time? Jae can. Next was Wonpil! And I must say I was taken a back a little like “Who is this man?” HE LOOKS SO DIFFERENT IN REAL LIFE. In a good way of course! I held onto his hand for a moment and said “Thanks Wonpil” he nodded and had such a smug look on his face like omg. SUNGJIN WAS NEXT AND BOY THIS WAS MY FAVORITE ENCOUNTER. He was already like pulling his arm back to give a really hard high five so I was BRACING myself, because it looked like it might be painful omg. Hes the only member I actually high fived whoops. BUT his high five was so happy and so energetic! Yet it was aggressively soft? It was definitely a hard high five but it didnt hurt at all LOL. He was like “Ah yeah!” after that and I thanked him for the great show. Then the hi-touch was over for me. Even though I wish I could have had a little more time with them, I was so thankful to have had the experience in the first place.

IN CONCLUSION: This was the best night of my life so far. This definitely is not going to be the last time I see them live. If they come back to NA while Im still here you can count on me doing my best to get that P1 or P2 ticket. They better come to Europe someday too! For their next tour if it works out I might even try to go to more than one of their concerts. I was trying to go to the Toronto concert for this tour too, but my exam schedule wouldnt allow that. But I am so blessed that NYC happened. I will also definitely plan any trip to Asia around their concert schedule!

Tl;dr: I love day6 so much. See them live someday plz. Tell Brian I love him plz.

[sellalametta]

Why Her (Rapunzel)? #WhatILearnedfromDisney

Several years ago, I write about what we can learn from Beauty and The Beast Movie. While I am strolling around my phone folder, I found this random thought made two years ago, and suddenly ignite my inner self to do the second round of 'what I learned from Disney Princesses'. Anyway, if you are aware that I love them, you are lucky lol. No, I mean you are surely my friends!

Its hard to start my random ideas about what to write right now, so these points are actually summarized from the world of internet ×

She told me...

1. ‘not to stay in my comfort zone’ :

This lead to one of my favorite sanctity of life. I don't find myself grow as much in typical 'comfort zone'. Rather I make every new challenging zone to be as comfortable. I don't know if you have a clue about what I mean but it’s not a lie that I can just stay at home and enjoying what’s offer without trial myself. 

2. ‘that hobbies make us cool’ : 

I am not sure having many hobbies are considered cool to all people. Yet, reflecting to my own self who extremely excited to learn many things -which list them to be so-called hobbies-, they make me ‘cool’. We both entertained ourselves with paints, cooks, cleans, plays guitar, dances, sketches, diy (she makes candles), and other physical activities. Being creative is way to live and be grateful of life itself. I believe lifetime will be a lot more colorful by being a man of all seasons!

3. ‘if life is all about petite yet perfect flash’ : 

There are a lot lo lot of small things each and every second, but most of time, I or we, don’t really notice them. So let’s learn from her, to put more and more attention to surroundings. This is also why I enjoy motor-ride than train, since I can have a closer look to people and place, to smell the atmosphere and witness every single move of existence is another perfect moments to learn life.

"Venture outside your comfort zone. The rewards are worth it." — Rapunzel, Tangled

4.

‘to never lose hope’ and ‘be courageous’ : 

She has a goal and it drives her soooo much. She never stops trying. Despite the fact that good life give you routine struggles, let’s face every bit of challenge eagerly. Although it seems that I am very beholden person, it doesn’t make me tend to take things as they are. We all should do too. Some parts of life are meant to what they are, some are meant to be given more effort in order to be what they certainly are. Don’t stop there! 

5. ‘to accept the feeling of missing home’ :

This last one is pretty much self-explanatory. Every single person who leave their comfort zone a.k.a home eventually will miss where they come from, including this small human-being called Me! I don’t literally say I miss my home – I indeed never say that – to anyone. But there’s no way I can lie to myself if I do, and it’s unconditionally a normal thing happen to everyone! 

KL, August 23, 2019

♡ Sel  ﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋ Inspirations: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/life-lessons-tangled-taught-me https://ohmy.disney.com/movies/2014/01/27/life-lessons-from-tangled/

[garden-ghoul]

two blogs part 2

“the upstairs neighbors are being really loud and my tarot deck told me to relax can you believe this bullshit”

THE URUK-HAI

Ah, Uruk-hai. What could possibly be worse? I am here to tell you that what could be worse than being kidnapped by uruk-hai is if someone is fucking mowing a lawn outside and people will not stop walking around and moving furniture upstairs. Dump my body in a ditch and write ‘CAUSE OF DEATH: AUDITORY PROCESSING DISORDER’ on a scrap of paper tucked under my tongue. Anyway Pippin is not having a much better time than me. He wakes up from a nightmare lying tied up on the ground, looking at his scared (and also tied up) best friend. And FINALLY some Pippin interiority! He is dismayed that he has been worse than useless on this journey and also, obviously, that he is now at the mercy of a bunch of orcs. I like that his primary characteristic in Fellowship was that he kept trying to look tough when he thought he wasn’t... but as we’ll see he really is tough and resourceful!

The orcs notice Pippin is awake and start being mean to him immediately. One of them says “Curse the Isengarders!” out loud, which seems like a pretty bad idea unless you assume this orc is looking for a fight. I guess the fact that orcs have no common language between tribes is just a plot point that allows Pippin to understand what they’re saying? Basically they are just arguing about whose orders supersede who else’s orders. Some of them are even Moria orcs, and just want to do a revenge murder; why the hell did the professional warriors let them join?? Like it’s clear that the Mordor party and the Isengard party have sort of good reasons to cooperate, but I’m honestly surprised they didn’t just chase off the Moria orcs as soon as they showed up. Like who even are these guys? They don’t work for either of our masters. Deadweight. At any rate, Ugluk of Isengard doesn’t seem to want to let them leave now?? Just to show how In Command he is.

The orcs fight and a bunch of them get killed. Pippin takes the opportunity to cut his bonds on a dead man’s knife and retie them looser. Just in case. Then the party sets off again, and somehow Pippin actually manages to fall asleep while being carried by an orc. These hobbits, I swear. Anyway he wakes up later and is given some kind of... alcohol? Opiate? Some kind of painkiller. Merry gets ointment for the cut on his head, but because of Tolkien’s weird Thing this is portrayed as creepy and awful. Ugluk also tells Merry ‘You'll get bed and breakfast all right: more than you can stomach.' What. Ugluk you’re really bad at threats, that doesn’t even make sense. Well, they let Merry and Pippin run on their own legs, anyway. Everyone was tired of carrying them. The Moria orcs say they can’t run in the sunlight; Ugluk threatens them into silence. Aww.

Later they decide to run home through Fangorn--over a hundred of them. Oh holy shit how many orcs are there here?? I was picturing more like 40... but it sounds like after the northerners leave there’s around a hundred left. Apparently the Mordor orcs come back too, and there’s some delightful boasting:

‘What else did you come back for?’ said Uglúk. ‘You went in a hurry. Did you leave anything behind?'

'I left a fool,' snarled Grishnákh. 'But there were some stout fellows with him that are too good to lose. I knew you'd lead them into a mess. I've come to help them.'

'Splendid!' laughed Uglúk. 'But unless you've got some guts for fighting, you've taken the wrong way. Lugbúrz was your road. The Whiteskins are coming. What's happened to your precious Nazgûl? Has he had another mount shot under him?’

Sorry I kind of like Ugluk. He’s... fun.

The riders start to catch up, and the orc party camps out in the dark, waiting for them to attack. This seems pretty dumb--even if Rohirrim have better night vision than most humans and their horses “can see the night breeze” (ah yes... horses.... famously nocturnal animals...) it still makes more sense to attack at night. Well, while that standoff is going on, Grishnakh of Lugburz shows up and starts trying to get into Pippin and Merry’s pockets. Pippin decides to trick Grishnakh into thinking he has the Ring... for some reason?

'My dear tender little fools,' hissed Grishnákh, 'everything you have, and everything you know, will be got out of you in due time. You'll wish there was more that you could tell to satisfy the Questioner, indeed you will: quite soon. We shan't hurry the enquiry. Oh dear no! What do you think you've been kept alive for? My dear little fellows, please believe me when I say that it was not out of kindness: that's not even one of Uglúk's faults.'

Oh I looooove the way he talks. Merry succeeds in making him angry and frantic--he’s running out of time! And he runs toward the forest with both of them. But unfortunately, riders. He gets very murdered. The battle moves away, Merry and Pippin are left alone in the dark, and so obviously the very first thing they do is have some lembas. Hobbits!! After having their tea (at midnight. whatever.) they crawl off toward the Entwash. Merry, who unlike Pippin has actually looked at a map in his life, says they ought to go through Fangorn despite the warnings. So they go to the eaves of the wood and look back out at the battle taking place at sunrise.

Out of the shadows the hobbits peeped, gazing back down the slope: little furtive figures that in the dim light looked like elf-children in the deeps of time peering out of the Wild Wood in wonder at their first Dawn.

GOOD IMAGERY, very sweet. Our hobbits almost stay, but it looks like Ugluk and a few others are about to get away into the forest, so they end up running. You were soooo close guys. Now instead of meeting their companions straight off, they’re going to end up with

TREEBEARD

They follow the Entwash for a while until they find a stony outcropping they can climb up. They go on quite a bit about how old and treeish the forest is (no duh) but when the sun comes out Pippin “almost feels he likes the place.”

'Almost felt you liked the Forest! That's good! That's uncommonly kind of you,' said a strange voice. 'Turn round and let me have a look at your faces. I almost feel that I dislike you both, but do not let us be hasty.’

Here he is! The reason I say HOOM every time I am thinking for the last ten years. Tolkien actually describes him as fairly humanoid, although he is fourteen feet tall and also has fourteen toes. He says he’s an ent, but doesn’t know what Merry and Pippin are. He sings the whole “all the creatures there are” song, which is very endearing, and doesn’t find them in the list. I love Treebeard’s preoccupation with true names; he doesn’t want to tell his (and at any rate, it would take a very long time to say!) and he’s absolutely honored by Pippin and Merry’s confidence when they tell him who they are. He also does some cute monologuing, and mentions Gandalf, “the only wizard who really cares about trees.” Surely Radagast must care a little, if only for birds to nest in!

Treebeard knows a lot of tongue-twisters. He knows one about Laurelindorenan (which is almost a tongue-twister itself); he would have advised people to stay away from queer Lothlorien just as Celeborn advised our heroes to stay away from Fangorn! So insular... He talks a lot about the old days, and sings some too. I love him very much. I find it hard to summarize anything to do with Treebeard if I read too far ahead; at any rate we come to a place that may be called Wellinghall, and the hobbits tell him of their adventures. Treebeard is troubled by Saruman and wonders what to do about him. He gets himself worked into a right frenzy over Saruman’s awful doings--and then says, now, I mustn’t be hasty. He’ll call a council tomorrow, but for now he explains the curiously sexist reasons all the entwives are gone.

Entwives like order, and they like to direct things to grow just so, whereas ents are more nomadic and live as herdsmen and wanderers. What the fuck Tolkien. Can you just... not... I’m not sure he has properly talked with a woman in his life. Anyway, the gardens of the entwives have been destroyed by Sauron, and nobody saw where the entwives themselves went. IMO the safest bet would be east of Sauron’s domain; he probably doesn’t have a huge amount of interest in spreading out there, far from the organized resistance in the west.

So. Entmoot. Takes place in the Derndingle. A dingle, by the way, is a landform also known as a dell, sort of like a very small valley. Not to be confused with a dale, which is both derived from the same Old English word and apparently has an almost identical definition. Thanks, Wikipedia. I’ll be sure not to get those confused. Anyway after a few hours Treebeard comes and finds the hobbits to tell them it will take a couple of days to explain everything to the other ents; he’s brought as a companion for them an ent named Quickbeam, who is so hasty that he has already decided what he wants to do about Saruman. Yowza. He’s a fun guy, laughs a lot, likes to sing. They stay at his ‘house,’ and he talks about the beautiful rowan grove he used to live in, and how the orcs destroyed it. “That seemed to the hobbits quite enough to explain his 'hastiness', at least in the matter of Orcs.” At last, after three days, the ents have come to a decision. Their war song is so delightful--its unstoppable rhythm!--that I have to put the whole thing here for you. 

To Isengard! Though Isengard be ringed and barred with doors of stone; Though Isengard be strong and hard, as cold as stone and bare as bone, We go, we go, we go to war, to hew the stone and break the door; For bole and bough are burning now, the furnace roars - we go to war! To land of gloom with tramp of doom, with roll of drum, we come, we come; To Isengard with doom we come!

Burarum! “We are made of the bones of the earth. We can split stone like the roots of trees, only quicker, far quicker, if our minds are roused!” Treebeard says this might be the last march of the ents--Saruman is powerful, after all. But better to face doom this way and destroy Saruman than to wait as he grows ever stronger for doom to find them! The ents are going to war!

[saitou-shuka]

shukamod @ First Live LV [1 of 4]

This post covers what I did before the LV and the LV itself up to the first six songs in the setlist!

Hi everyone! This is a post that’s been long overdue and I truly apologize. Many things have happened over the past week, including tons of schoolwork, more than one all-nighter, more than one 14-hour-sleep day, and me snapping my chair in half cheering too hard for Shuka, among other things... not to mention general laziness and procrastinating on Discord :))))

Excuses aside, I know at least a few people were curious on my thoughts about the Live Viewing. I wasn’t actually sure how I wanted to write the post another reason it was delayed so much ... It kind of turned into a strange diary-style post about my entire experience. Hope you guys don’t mind hearing about my weekend too...

I’m also terrible at summarizing, so the whole thing got super super long. So long that I’m splitting it up into four parts. (This way you don’t need to wait for me to finish writing everything, too...) Each individual part is still extremely long, so under a cut it goes~

Sorry for the page stretcher, mobile-users ( ‾▿‾ ;;)

The Day Before Our LV was at 12pm on a Sunday. Turns out the earliest bus from where I live doesn’t actually reach NYC until 11:50am on Sunday (... lol), so I resigned myself to arriving in New York on Saturday and paying to stay the night. My friends and I ended up buying tickets for a five-hour bus ride leaving at 7am on Saturday (rip sleep) so we could have time to hang out with the /r/LoveLive Discord community later in the day. It was really lit! We went to karaoke, which was tons of fun, and then had KBBQ for dinner. Thanks to everyone who made sure I ate properly for dinner ;__; I made sure to eat a lot to honor the price tag on the buffet  (•̀ ∀ •́)ﻭ✧ I was actually super sleepy that day, so my bad if I seemed super quiet or dead ( ‾▿‾ ;;)

Also: It was cold it was cold it was cold it was so cold that day fml

The Day of: Pre-LV I think my friends and I left for the theater around 8am? On our way there we decided it would probably be wise to actually eat breakfast, so we stopped at an IHOP and met up with a bunch of people from the Discord community again. It was kind of difficult for IHOP to serve all of us quickly, so we didn’t get to the venue until like 10am instead of 9 or 9:30am like I was hoping for. There was already a sizable line forming by then. I handed out a bunch of call guides and UOs, as well as a couple of handwarmers (because it was still cold af) to people, and then we put the banner on the ground for people to sign. Thanks to everyone who signed the banner! I don’t really remember what else happened in line because I was trying to do so many things at once lol...

The theater let us inside earlier than expected (thank youuuu). Everyone was inside by about 11am. I was already super excited at this point. My group and I picked seats in the middle-back behind a railing. During the LV I leaned over this railing like Chika in Episode 2 more than a few times and people were afraid that I was going to fall off. After I got my stuff all settled, we set up a speaker to play Aqours music. Then at some point I got bullied into going up in front of everyone in the theater with a megaphone and introducing myself OTL

I got to talk to a few new faces too! I think it was @keipointo​ who greeted me first? I awkwardly offered to shake hands because I didn’t know what to say :’))) My bad. Also had a brief exchange with one of @takatsuking​‘s friends, which was nice! (waaaa I didn’t catch your name I’m sorry ;__;) I was probably also awkward then aaaaaaa I’m bad at one-on-ones Thanks for taking the time to greet me, all of you! :D

And now onto the Live itself, finally ꉂ(･∀･ゝ ≡ ･∀･)ゝ

Some background. We only saw Day 1 of the Live, since none of the American venues offered Day 2 viewings. I was already pretty much spoiled for the events for both days of the live due to Twitter, but being able to see it in person on a giant screen was still a whole different experience altogether. It’s a sensory overload, to say the least. Yokohama Arena is soooo pretty. It’s kind of hard to describe the structure in words, but there’s a main stage with steps and a screen in the back for displaying camera shots and special effects, like so:

... which is connected to a circular center stage by a runway, which you can see here:

The floor of this center stage was actually a giant screen which was used to display some amazing special effects in a lot of the songs; I was really impressed aaaaaaa

And, as some of you might remember from μ's concerts, sometimes the seiyuu will also hop onto carts and ride them around the arena, like so

hi ainya

Here we go! ( *˙0˙*)

Aozora Jumping Heart The seiyuu rise up from below the stage and you can practically feel the tension in the air. I think... a bunch of people screamed when the music started, but I don’t remember too well. I broke two UOs off the bat because I was so excited lol. People behind me, I’m so sorry if I blinded you... Not much to say about this one, actually. Familiar song, familiar outfits. What was different this time was that they finally did the full version of the song! Since the solo lines in the second verse are done by subunit, there was some cute subunit interaction :D

Koi ni Naritai Aquarium Uhhhhhh.... lol. I didn’t want to die this early in the concert, but here we are... This song was 👌👌👌, and I pretty much... reacted how you might expect me to react. (:D)|￣|＿

Since I was spoiled for the setlist, I knew this song was coming up right after Aozora. I still wasn’t prepared. It’s just...... the choreography looks so good live and Shuka was so cute I was dying the whole time ashfsdkjfhsdkjfs. THERE ARE SPINS IN THE CHOREOGRAPHY (covered up by cutscenes in the PV) THANK YOU..............

The blue → orange → blue penlight color transition in the theater was also better than I expected wew, but then again my expectations weren’t that high in the first place.

In my humble, definitely not biased opinion, the Yousolo was amazing. I broke 8 UBs (uhhhhhh... LOL) and attempted a balrog for the solo but it was pretty spaghetti, considering how much I was freaking out.

AT THE END OF THE SONG, THE CAMERA ZOOMED ONTO SHUKA AND SHE DID A LITTLE HEADSHAKE AND FLASHED THE BIGGEST GRINｓｊｋえｊｓｇｄｘｃｖはｊｄｈｖｋｇｈｗｌｇｈｓｄｇＤ？ＧＳ

I’m so proud of Shuka, especially because she talked about how nervous she was for this song in her blog post aaaaaaaaaaa. There must have been added pressure from having to perform it second in the setlist, too...

My voice was pretty much already dead after this song :)))))))) oops

After KoiAqua, intros happened! The usual calls and all. It was good seeing the seiyuu looking just as excited as we were! Hearing so many people in the theater do the Call & Responses was really refreshing as well :D

Aqours☆HEROES  I’m always hype for this song because I love the choreography (read: Shuka’s 128759 spins). The calls for this song are also tons of fun! They were displayed on the main stage screen for the fans. I think this was the first song where the seiyuu went out onto the center stage. A lot of different camera angles (they started singing on the runway part of the stage) and modified choreography to account for the circular stage shape. They ran in circles a lot and it looked pretty tiring tbh because they were running in circles I don’t think Shuka did her “muteki datte” spin (either way the camera wasn’t focused on her) T_T Still good though, I love Heroes :D

The seiyuu leave the stage, and a short intermission drama happens. I’m going to avoid summarizing what happens in the dramas just because my Japanese listening comprehension is really bad, but I’ll mention that the animation for the little talking heads has really improved since the μ's days. They’re much more dynamic, they have more expressions, they have necks... Man, I wish I could GIF this :’)))))

Kimeta yo Hand in Hand Second years take the stage in their Daisuki dattara Daijoubu! outfits! The outfits have pretty wide sleeves, so you can see hints of Yume de Yozora costumes underneath (it doesn’t help that Shuka and Rikyako are wearing blue and pink, whereas their Yume de Yozora outfits are red and blue, respectively...) if you look closely when they raise their arms up.

At the end of the first round of solos, Shuka does a really nice spin which has the unfortunate side effect of flashing the red skirt of her Yume de Yozora costume, as well as her safety shorts LOL.

I remember laughing super hard at the arm-flailing choreo in the chorus when I first heard the song in the anime, but it actually didn’t look that weird in real life. There’s one part where all three of them just grab each other’s hands to form a circle and then run around, which I thought was really cute... ;__;

Daisuki dattara Daijoubu! Err, let’s just say that when Shuka jumped for the “Jump da!” part I thought I was going to have a heart attack lmao :’D

Choreo was pretty much exactly like the anime. For the second half of the song, the three of them moved out to the center stage while holding hands. During the instrumental it looked like there was no choreography, so all of them just circled around the stage and waved at all the fans. Shuka bounced around like a little kid on a sugar high and it was adorable ;__;

Then we had a short second years MC, the highlight of which is seeing the three of them turn in a circle to show everyone their costumes! There’s a giant ribbon on the back :>

Yume de Yozora o Terashitai Okay I already posted the official picture for the Yume de Yozora performance but I have to post it again:

This performance was sooooo beautiful, definitely one of the prettiest songs in the setlist. The whole performance itself took place on the center stage, where they could take full advantage of the screen display on the floor. Lots of aerial camera shots so we could see the evening sky displayed right under the seiyuu... Sooooo pretty. They put a really nice animation of the lanterns spelling out “Aqours” on the floor for Anchan’s solo as well :))))

There was this one part (or maybe two parts? I forget) where Aiai and King reach out and touch each other’s hands in this song, and I gotta say... their height difference is really moe. Ashkfhdsfjdkfh

... I would also like to personally thank the choreographer for putting in a Shuka spin in the second half of this song :)

You can’t see it too well in the photo, but the skirts on the costumes are all glittery. So prettyyyyy aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

After that, the stage goes dark and the seiyuu leave the stage. Next up: Subunits! (and more) → [Coming Soon!]