could we get some headcanons for Toby and Chris? Specifically ones that ignore how toxic their relationship is lol but still takes place during canon. Basically everything’s the same for the most part except Keller is a decent human being and loves his silly boyfriend
Lol okay I’ll write out their trademark toxicity😂 This one will be a more fluffy version of their relationship. Like the actual relationship part.
(Occurred to me when I finished this that you may have meant canon as in “boyfriends in Oz” whereas I wrote boyfriends out of Oz. If I misinterpreted, because I think that would be cool to write and even if you don’t want it I may write it anyway, just reask “Beecher X Keller in Oz”. I just get a lot of out of Oz asks so it’s my default.)
Tobias Beecher X Chris Keller (Fluff)…
Okay so they’re finally boyfriends. Fuck Schillinger. Fuck Oz. They belong to each other.
They’re a very kissy couple. Some couples are very cuddly some are very huggy, I think they’re very kissy.
They like to say hello with a kiss. Chris leaning down to kiss Beecher’s head. Beecher kissing Keller’s neck to get his attention. Kissing each other’s hands and every single finger just to feel one another.
Holly is VERY protective of her dad. She immediately distrusts Keller. He initially tries to win her trust like he would any woman’s. He buys her a bracelet with lots of charms (they’re like lipstick and nail polish charms and she doesn’t like it at all). Realizing his error, he gets her a new bracelet with the Arsenal cannon on it and a soccer ball. Better, but she’s still uneasy.
Beecher doesn’t want to tell her about his relationship with Keller. He thinks it might confuse her after her mom and Gary’s death. What confuses her is the ambiguity.
One day, Beecher is dressing upstairs. Keller comes in and sees only Holly. He tries to make small talk, asking about school, but she stops him.
“Look, I know you like my dad the way my mom liked my dad. I know what gay is. If you’re gonna be his boyfriend, we have some ground rules.”
Keller can’t stifle a laugh. She’s very serious and perceptive for her age.
“Okay, Holly. That’s fair. What’re your terms?”😂
“Keep the sex quiet.”
Keller barks a loud laugh and nods his head. Seemed fair. She started talking about her dad and how he was a nice guy. Keller agreed. He sat down with her, handed her a pen and paper, and told her to draft all her terms for him. He’s grinning ear to ear. At least the kid was talking to him.
Beecher comes down to a full constitutional write up of all their rights and responsibilities.
“I need something to call you.”
“Chris.”
“But you’re an adult.” She shook her head. “‘Dad’ and ‘dad’ will get too confusing. How about ‘Dad’ and ‘Pop’. You’ll be Pop.”
He’s genuinely honored by this. He shakes her hand and signs the form. He reads the byline at the bottom. Take care of my dad, please.
After that, they become a family of three.
Keller really buckles down and gets to know Beecher.
He knows how Beecher likes his steak (medium) and when Holly isn’t around, makes jokes like “who doesn’t like a hot pink center”, which Beecher always rolls his eyes to.
Keller is picky about vegetables. He hates them “Al dente”. Loves his broccoli and Brussels sprouts to be cooked through completely.
Keller’s a steak and potatoes guy, but Beecher likes to try new things so suddenly all his food has balsamic reductions and lemon Parmesan this and soy sauce and honey that. Keller would be just as happy with salt and pepper.
Keller’s nicknames for Beecher: Beech Ball, Toby, Tobes, Tobert (don’t ask), sweet lips, Goldie locks, baby, love.
Beecher’s nicknames for Keller: Chris, Chrissy (playful), Topher (Chris hates this one), bright eyes, and the classic babe.
Chris likes to do this thing where in public, he’ll narrate other people’s conversations to Beecher, usually making them outlandish or completely sexual. Beecher is usually telling him to stop through tears of laughter. 😆
Beecher is a window shopper. Loves seeing things at the mall and going “ooh! Let’s go see that! What? I just wanna look.”
Holly and Chris usually side eye each other and take bets on how long he’ll really be.
“Ten minutes.”
“I’ll take thirty, pop.”
“You’re on.”
Keller has an unresolved sweet tooth. He’ll tell Beecher to go get the essentials at the store, guiding Holly to go with him.
“We’re just gonna go look at the toys.” -Chris, sly smile not fooling anyone.
“No candy, Chris. I’ve got dinner in the crock pot.” -Tobias, lover of Pinterest crock pot recipes.
“I just wanna go see the Minecraft legos, dad.” -Holly, already thinking of the candy spree Chris is gonna take her on.
When they come back, Chris and Holly have a cart filled with gummy coke bottles, M&Ms (peanut, regular, peanut butter, and caramel), caramel apple lollipops, and all the fun bubble gums.
Toby rolls his eyes as Chris and Holly high five.
They get a small karaoke machine for the house for when Holly has her friends over. The boys get more use out of it than she does.
“I’ll tell you what I want what ai really really want!” -Toby
“So tell me what you want what you really really want!” -Chris
“Dad. Pop. Stop.” -Holly
Both are dads that do not get embarrassed easily.
Before Holly and Adebayo officially start dating, Chris notices the two of them saying goodbye when he and Toby pick her up from school.
“It’ll be funny.” Chris insists.
“Not to Holly.” Beecher reasoned, smiling the whole time.
“Im doing it.” Chris lays on the horn to get Holly’s attention. She and Ade turn to the car where Chris yells out; “Holly! Who’s your cute friend?”
Holly and Ade turn bright red and Beecher and Keller crack up in the car. Holly is not amused.
“You two need help.”
Couples costumes are fun. Surprisingly, Beecher’s the one who needs to be convinced.
“I’ll be Han. You can be Leia.”
“Pass.”
“Indiana Jones and Marian?”
“Why is it always Harrison Ford with you?”
“…The Fugitive? I’ll be Kimble, you be… his kid.”
They alternate picking movies. They have strong opinions.
“Chris, I will break up with you if you call Die Hard a Christmas movie again.”
“Takes place during Christmas, don’t it? Check and mate, bitch.”
Forces Keller to watch one of their favorite movies together; A Fish Called Wanda (1988).
“I’m like Cleese and you’re like Curtis, right?” -Chris
“Cleese, the bumbling innocent lawyer and Curtis the manipulative flirty criminal? Yeah, you’re the chick this time, buddy.” -Toby
“Who’s Kline?” -Chris
“…Robson.” -Toby
They both crack up.
They show Holly their favorite 80s movies and then struggle to explain the problematic stuff.
“So she didn’t know it was him, and he had sex with her? Idk guys, it’s not a good look at least.”
Both have their heads in their hands by the end, unable to speak.
Chris works lots of nights and Beecher works during the day, but they always make time for each other. Beecher goes to Keller’s bar and sits at the end. Chris comes to deliver lunch to Toby at work.
Their show together is Cheers. Keller likes Sam Malone and Beecher likes Frazier. Holly watch’s with them and likes Lilith.
“If I were Sam, I’d stop wasting my time on Diane and Rebecca and jump the bones of the cute intellectual that comes in every day.” Keller says, leaning into Beecher and licking his ear. Toby blushes.
“Cute bad boys look like his type.”
“Cute?”
“Shut up, baby.” Toby laughs.
“Guys.” Holly interjects with a monotone. “Get several rooms, please.”
They do “the switch” every time they go out for food.
Keller gets the croutons on Beecher’s salad and Beecher gets the tomato on Keller’s burger.
One time, Beecher orders a ribeye, medium and it comes out rare. Beecher can’t eat it but refuses to call over their server, as he doesn’t want to “bother her”. Keller can’t contain his laughter.
“Just tell her to cook it more, it’s not that big a deal.”
“Yeah, but she’ll just feel like she messed up and it’s really not her fault.”
“Babe, your steak is still mooing.”
“Chris, it’s fine. I’ll eat it like this.” Cuts off a piece and goes to take a bite when he hears Keller moo softly from his seat. “Chris, I swear to God.”
Keller is still mooing softly and Beecher is kicking him under the table when the server comes over to ask how things are.
“Burger is cooked to perfection. We need a couple more minutes on the steak though, hon”. Keller lets her know, informing Beecher’s blushing face.
Every time a restaurant gets Toby’s order wrong, Keller is the one to ask for the right thing.
Keller and Holly play video games together. They start off with Call of Duty and move onto Halo. She even gets him into Minecraft.
“Punch that tree.”
“Punch? The tree?”
“That’s how you get wood until you build an axe.”
One day, Chris walks into Holly crying at her desk. Apparently some older kids completely ransacked her base.
Keller is livid.
Joins the world and makes it his personal mission to track them down and make them pay.
He finds their camp and waits for night to completely take it down. He brought buckets of lava, kept his inventory empty to take Holly’s stuff back, and even lures a hoard of monsters to their home and lets them through the gates.
He waits for them to rebuild and then he just tears it down again. He does this every day for a month. By the end, there’s a chest at the front labeled: “For KillerKeller1998, please stop destroying our stuff.”
Keller gives Holly the coordinates and they build her base back together. She’s got more than before.
“That’s what you’ve got to do, Hols. Every time they take from you, you take double from them. Until they can’t afford to keep picking on you.”☠️
Keller dresses up like Santa on Christmas. It’s not fooling Holly in the slightest but she plays along because she knows it makes them happy.
After they put Holly to bed, Tobias makes them hot chocolate downstairs.
“If you add ginger it’s supposed to bring out the flavor.”
“Another Pinterest hack?”
“…shut up.”
Keller forces Beecher to sit on his lap and tell him what he wants for Christmas.
Beecher’s laughing quietly the whole time just so Holly can sleep.
“C’mon, I’m serious.” He slaps his thighs. “Park it here, baby, I wanna make that holiday wish come true.”
Beecher sits on his lap, still giggling and supporting both of their hot chocolates by now.
“And what would you like, little boy?” Keller boomed for effect.
“Toy fire truck.” 🚒
“Fuck you, what do you really want?”
“Pretty sure Santa doesn’t say fuck you.”
“He does when someone’s spitting bullshit. What do you want?”
Tobias thought for a second, touching his hair and rubbing around his eyes. Chris knows he’s trying not to cry.
“I just… I don’t want this to be a dream. I don’t want to wake up back in Oz.”
Keller drops the act and holds his boyfriend.
“We got each other, we got Holly, that’s the most important thing.”
Beecher and Keller are two doofus dads just trying to give Holly the best life.
For every holiday, they do something special. For Christmas, it’s watching old movies in their pjs. For Halloween it’s watching scary movies and teasing Beecher. For Mardi Gras, Keller hops to the roof and throws beads off for her.
Beecher always finds couples activities for them. Like he asks Keller to take him swing dancing. Keller thinks its stupid as fuck but Beecher flashes those puppy eyes and Keller just can’t say no.
Keller complains like a bitch the whole first lesson, and Toby stops off in a huff. Holly lets him know he fucked up.
“He bought those oxfords specifically for that class.”
Keller talks to Beecher about it, and Beecher is a little heated at first. Keller tries goofing him out of it.
“Your honor, I would like to present the case that one Christopher Keller is not that big an ass.”
Toby’s giggling again, and Chris pulls him onto his lap and kisses his forehead.
Toby admits he had a crush on James Dean and thought the idea of Keller in a leather jacket swing dancing with him was sexy.
Beecher comes home the next day to find Keller there, in jeans and a leather jacket, cigarette hanging off his lips, smirk on his face.
Good god he almost spontaneously ejaculated.
Keller treats him right the whole night, takes him swing dancing, and even finds a fifties Pop a Top open, and grabs hot dogs and Cokes after.
They’re in the booth, and Beecher is cuddling Keller.
“Thanks, Dean.” He whispers.
“Yeah, yeah.” Keller takes a bite of his hot dog. “So when’re you gonna dress up like Michelle Pfeiffer for me?”
Beecher actually does on Keller’s birthday. Long satin number like in Scarface. Keller is speechless.
Neither proposes to the other. They’re happy in their domestic partnership, a ring is just a ring, right?
Well, one night, after dinner, Holly makes a PowerPoint presentation to show them.
“This is why we make a good family.”
Holly takes them through their relationship and everything they’ve done as a family.
Keller and Beecher are holding hands, looking at pictures of themselves on birthdays and anniversaries.
They laugh at Keller holding a snake at Beecher’s face on a wildlife preservation. They cry at Keller seeing Gary’s grave for the first time because Beecher wanted them to meet.
Holly concludes the presentation with a picture of all three of them together at a restaurant. Beecher’s stealing Keller’s fries and Keller is giving Holly a noogie.
“Holly, that’s lovely.”
“Yeah, thanks, kid.”
“So… do it.”
They’re both still a little confused. Holly rolls her eyes and pulls out two rings. They’re cracker jack box rings. They’re engraved. “I love you, dad”. She admits she spent her allowance on the engravings.
“Like in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Daddy, sing moon river.”
The guys are a little stunned. They just keep exchanging looks. Keller breaks first, laughing his goddamn ass off.
“The balls on this kid.” -*has never been prouder* turns to Beecher with a grin on his face. “How bout it, hon. Wanna get married?”
Beecher is speechless. Keller and Holly just keep looking at him expectantly.
“Of course. I… thank you, Holly.”
Later that night, they’re about to go to bed, and Keller stops Beecher and hands him some legal papers.
“Divorcing me already? I’ll be the first Ex Mr Keller.”
“Shut up and read, dummy.”
“I… these are adoption papers.”
“Didn’t want to tell the kid before I ran it by you first. In case you weren’t on board. I’d understand. I still want to marry you, Tobes. But I want everything that comes with that.”
“You…”
“I want to marry you and legally adopt Holly. What’s so damn difficult to understand?”
Beecher thinks about this for a second. He’d never considered that Keller wanted to adopt Holly.
“You realize… if we split… if I wanted to… I could get child support from you?”
“Yes.”
“That doesn’t… that’s not a thought in your mind? I’m giving you free legal advice.”
Keller smiles his shark like grin.
“We’re not gonna split so it’s not a concern.”
“But if we do-“
“Then it would be an honor to get to help raise her, even through child support. She’s an amazing kid, Tobes.”
“Chris, I’m just… this is legal adoption. You can’t just be done with it whenever-“
Chris is on his feet, nose to nose with Beecher, but it’s not threatening.
“I’m not ever gonna be done with you, Toby. Or Holly. You guys gave me a life. I want both of you to be mine. Legally. Visit you guys in the hospital or go on trips as a family. Share my healthcare with you guys and provide for you. She wants two dads right? Not just one dad and dad’s boyfriend? Then I want all of it. All the rights and responsibilities of my child.”
Beecher and Keller spoon all night, talking it over. But Beecher’s already said yes. Because Keller called her “my child”.
He they take Holly to the movies and then to the fair. Keller wins her a bigass squishmallow shaped like a frog. They buy her popcorn and cokes all day!
“Am I dying guys?”
They take Holly aside and give her the space to respond however she’s going to.
“Holly?”
“Yeah, pop?”
Keller’s never been so nervous in his life.
Beecher starts.
“First of all, I want to make it clear. If this isn’t something you want, it’s not something that’s going to happen. And if you say no, you’re not changing anything. Chris and I are still getting married.”
“Jesus, what? You’re scaring me.”
Chris gets her attention and holds her hand.
“Holly, I’ve never had any kids. You’re the first. But I want you to really be the first. There are certain legal and medical benefits to this.”
“Just say what you want to say.”
“I… I want to legally adopt you so that Toby and I have equal rights over you. Medical decisions. Emergency contact. Custody if we ever… well,” he smiled to himself. “No point worrying about what’s not gonna happen. Point is, ball’s in your court. Or… goalie box? I don’t know a thing about soccer. Whatever you want.”
“So like, if I skipped school they’d call you?”
“Yeah.”
“And if I had a stomach ache and dad was busy you could come and get frosties with me?”
“Not sure how a frosty would help a stomach ache, but yeah sure.”
“And when kids at school say you’re not my real dad or I can’t have two dads I can just be like uh no, stupid, it’s legal.”
“You can do that anyway, but again, sure.”
She lunges into his arms and hugs her new *official* dad.
He adopts her a week before the wedding. (So her adoption day could be its own special day)
She’s their ring bearer. Holly insisted on wearing a suit to match her dads’.
It’s a nice, simple church wedding.
Toby finds Chris in back of the Church after service. He looks upset.
“Remember when I said I wish God would choose me.”
“I do recall.”
“I think he did.”
Toby smiles and pulls his husband over into his arms. He kisses the new Mr. Keller-Beecher on the head.
“Me too.”❤️
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