#this pen pressure shit is great i get it now

[skaziver]

sappy stagedorks doodles

[lunarbuck]

Kinktober Week 1: Thigh Riding

header by @jen-with-a-pen

Pairing: Lee Bodecker x f!reader (any race)

WC: 917

Prompt: Thigh riding

Warnings: swearing, thigh riding, heavy petting, pet names [sweetheart]

my masterlist | kinktober masterlist | @lunarbucklibrary

The front door slams shut, and you jump at the sound, the wooden spoon in your hand clattering against the counter. You quickly pick it back up, stirring the soup you've spent all day making. Lee thunders into the kitchen, heavy footsteps dragging slightly against the tile floor. 

You throw a glance over your shoulder, finding your Sheriff boyfriend settling in at the dinner table. He shrugs off his jacket and places his hat on the table, running a hand over his hair.

"How was your day, sweetie?" You ask, turning off the stove. Just from the way he walked in, you know it probably wasn't great, but if that's the case, he'll need to get it off his chest. It's better to ask and hear about it than for him to keep it all bottled up.

"This reelection shit is really getting on my nerves," he grumbles. "And Sandy…" You don't have to look at him to know he's rolling his eyes at the thought of his sister. "I don't even want to think about all the problems she's causin' me right now." You nod along with his words, serving up the soup into two bowls and grabbing Lee a beer from the fridge.

Your skirt swishes around your knees as you move around the kitchen. Lee likes it when you wear skirts, but honestly, you really like it too. You like the way they move, the way they hug your figure and smooth out the parts you don't love so much. As you set the table, you can feel Lee's eyes follow you around.

"Well, you're a shoo-in for the election, hun. No one pays Sandy any mind." Lee mumbles under his breath, probably disagreeing with you, but you don't bother to hear it. Lee's a stubborn man, and you know when to pick your battles. 

"Smells good," he says, watching you place a bowl of soup in front of him. He leans down and breathes in the aromatic steam, a pleasant smile spreading across his face. You move to step away, but his hand grasps your waist. "You're always takin' such good care of me, sweetheart."

"Well, you're out there keeping me safe, taking care of everyone else," you reply, resting your hand on his shoulder. "It's the least I can do." Lee tugs you down to sit on his lap, and you wrap your arms around him. He's always liked holding you at the end of a long day. Knowing that you're safe and sound relaxes him. 

You lean your head on Lee's shoulder as he tastes the soup. He moans his approval, digging in for more. You hadn't always imagined this life for yourself. Stay-at-home-girlfriend wasn't what you'd originally planned to be, but truthfully, you enjoy it. You know you want to go back to work soon, but that's a problem for future you. Current you is loving the way Lee's fingers squeeze your waist, the way he's enjoying something you made.

Before you know it, Lee's bowl is empty. He leans back in his chair and lets his eyes roam over your figure. He shifts the way you're sitting so your legs straddle his thigh, and your skirt rides up with the movement. You can't help but tilt your pelvis, relishing the slight friction of his muscular thigh against your clit.

"Sweetheart," he warns as he runs his hands up your legs. "Don't go startin' somethin' you can't finish." You grin, rocking your hips against Lee's leg and ignoring his stern words.

"Who says I can't finish this, Sheriff?" Your fingers trail down the buttons on the front of his shirt before landing on the bulge in his slacks. His grip on your hips tightens, increasing the pressure on your clit.

Lee's eyes are fused to the spot where you're grinding against him, and he pushes your skirt up higher to see more. You know your panties are soaked, the fabric sticking to your sensitive flesh. You're desperate for more contact, to feel the rough texture of his slacks against your pussy.

"Fuck, sweetheart. You look so perfect, riding my thigh with that perfect pussy." Lee's words make your clit throb, and you grip his shoulders tighter. "Lemme help you with that." He reaches between the two of you and tugs your panties to the side, and groans, running his finger over your clit.

Each grind against his muscular thigh sends sparks shooting through your body, and every brush of his finger against your clit sends you plummeting closer to the edge. Lee's eyes are dark and hungry, watching you take your pleasure from him. 

"Lee," you whimper, tugging his head closer to kiss him. The moment your lips find his, he's devouring you. His tongue slides against yours, and you speed up your movements on his thigh. His fingers dig into your flesh, guiding your hips closer and closer to your orgasm.

"Come for me, sweetheart. Come for me and show me how perfect you are." His voice is raspy and deep, desperate. Your whole body tightens, and you hold your breath as you come. Lee watches with hooded, lust-filled eyes, drinking in the sight of you.

As you come down from your high, Lee hooks his arms under your ass, picking you up. He starts toward the bedroom, and you cast a glance at your bowl of soup, long gone cold.

"I'll reheat it, and you can eat it in bed, sweetheart. Let me take care of you first."

@flightlessangelwings | #fawktober2023 list

I am discontinuing my taglist, more info to come! Follow @lunarbucklibrary and turn on notifications to be alerted of my new works. Must be 18+

Everything tags: @peaches1958 @pono-pura-vida @emi11ie @paulasocean @silverfire475 @lovingchoices14 @nekoannie-chan @late-to-the-party-81 @chibijusstuff @midnightramyeoncravings @wickidlady @buckyb-stan @adoreyouusugar @sebastianstanisagod @kayden666 @km-ffluv @winters1917 @buckysprettybaby @youdontknowmegls @marvellover31415

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Kinktober tags: @casa-boiardi @writing-for-marvel @harleycao

[i-write-things]

Obey Me! NB boys: Who would most willingly have kids

(Note: NONE of them would ever pressure you into having kids. I'm saying this now so I don't have to repeat it every time.)

1.Beelzebub:

Any surprise here? I can't remember where I saw it, but I do remember seeing somewhere he said he'd love to start a family. If you don't ask him about kids, he might ask you, first. He'd be a great dad, too. He'd be calm, supportive, and his kids would always be well fed and have plenty of exercise. They'd grow up big and strong like him! :) He'd also do that thing when they're little (and when theyre grown, too) where He'd use them as weights to lift up while he does push ups. He'd also carry them on his back everywhere. If it's a baby, he'd be a little tired of having to get up every night to calm their screams, but he'd get used to it because he makes himself a deal: he'll just get a snack every time the baby cries at night. Speaking of if it's a baby, he'd be afraid he'd crush it at first, and refuse to hold them. But once he finally holds them, he refuses to let any stranger hold them. His biggest fear is his child not being safe. Protective Beel! Oh, and they'd get a LOT of visits from uncle Belphie.

2.Mammon

Ok, here me out- he'd essentially be Bandit from Bluey (Dont ask). He'd make sure his kids are clever and he'd most certainly teach them to gamble from a young age, and how to cheat. He'd be very over protective, but also really fun. His worst nightmare is his kids growing up to hate him. He'll never admit it, but he stops cheating so much to earn money. While he wants his kids to grow up learning how to make quick cash, deep down, he just wants them to be good kids. So he also tries to set a good example and work for his money. All his brothers are shocked, and they'll tease him for it. And of course, Mammon being Mammon, will deny deny deny! The brother that baby sits the most for him is probably Lucifer, actually. (He doesn't trust Mammon at first. Jk, he trusts Mammon a lot with this, actually.... mostly)

3. Satan

You may be thinking, 'Pen, you're absolutely stupid and don't know anything about OM!, nor how to write in character', and you may be right, but let me cook!

You see, Satan at first isn't too keen on the idea of a child. All they do is scream and cry shit themselves and eat then cry some more. And when they're a teenager, they'll just sass him. And he does NOT like the idea of that. But all you have to do is appeal. Example:

Tell him to imagine the following: A 4 or 5, maybe even 6 year old boy or girl that's a mini version of him. Running around the house of lamentation, screaming curses about Lucifer, who can't do anything because they're a child who doesn't know any better. They'd be able to get away with anything and he could use that to his advantage. Now he's hooked, and he'll think about it, but despite his hate for poor Luci, he's still aware that it's a lot of responsibility. Which is why you have to reassure him that that's why you'll raise the baby together. Plus, imagine taking the child to the library, reading to them. They get to develop their own personality. Which is when teenhood becomes fun, because it's not about the sass, it's about the fun personality they've developed.

His biggest fear for his child is his child becoming like him. He doesn't want that. He'd prefer his child become like Lucifer than to see himself in his child (though not by a lot) Oh, and he trusts Asmo enough to be super gentle with the child. (Mostly because he threatened to kill Asmo if the baby is hurt) but also because he knows that the baby would be in gentle hands!

4. Lucifer

Lucifer isn't so quick to agree for 2 reasons.

He's always busy, what if he ends up neglecting the child in favor of work? And then you'll end up taking care of the child in its most vital years to have both parents present (though every year is vital to have both parents present). Of course, you'll just reassure him that Diavolo would give him some leave time in favor of raising the baby, and the brothers would help with his work load in the meantime.

2. Ok, but what about his brothers? That's the thing, he feels like he's already a father of 6. He won't be able to look after them as much because a baby is far too much time. They'll be running loose like chickens without heads in no time. You'll have to tell him he'll just have to have faith in his brothers. At first, he scoffs at the idea. But...he thinks about it. And the more he does, the more he agrees. Finally, he'll take you out somewhere private to tell you that he agrees. He wants to have a baby.

His worst fear is his child not feeling like he was present in his life. He already knows what it's like to have someone related to you hate youSatan, so it would be nothing new to him, though it would still hurt. Yet, his worst fear is his child growing up feeling like he was never there for his them. This will result in him constantly switching his attention time during teenage years from super clingy because he wants to be present, to a little distant because he doesn't want to come off as clingy. You better bring it to his attention and help him find a happy medium before your child starts to resent him for this. Oh, and the brother he trusts most to look after his kid is Mammon. This may sound stupid, but we all know Mammon would at least keep the kid alive. (Like Satan, he'll tear Mammon limb from limb if otherwise) but if Mammon isn't present, he'll ask Satan. Though, he can't be surprised if Satan has taught his child how to say 'fuck Lucifer' as one of their first phrases.

5. Asmodeus

Like Satan, he doesn't really want a child for the same reasons. They just cry, they take a lot of time, he won't be able to get his beauty sleep at night, ect. Also like Satan, you'll just have to appeal. Imagine all the cute family photos he can take! Plus, wouldn't the child be beautiful? 'Oh, but what about when they grow up and go through some weird emo phase?' Well, you guys will just have to accept them for that. And when (if) they grow out of the phase, y'all can continue to support them and then finally take family pictures again. And if they never grow out of the goth phase, you'll just have another Belphie. He laughs, and is a little more calm. It takes maybe some few months before he brings up the idea, saying that he thinks he's ready. His biggest fear is his child growing up unloved by their peers, so he tries to dress them up pretty all the time. You might have to remind him to let the child explore their own style for a bit, and he'll reluctantly agree at first, then be very willing later on. He doesn't want people to see his child as anything but pretty, but understands how important it is for the child to have their own style and feel supported for it. But he's keeping all them embarrassing baby photos. And he's definitely showing them off to his child's romantic partner (if they're not aro/ace). The brother he trusts the most to handle his child is Lucifer. He knows the child will be safe. He would pick Satan, but....y'know.

6. Leviathan

For obvious reasons, at first it's a no. He won't be able to play games as much, the baby will always be crying, ect. But you'll have to remind him that it's a team effort, and he won't be the only one taking care of the child. Plus, once the baby grows up, he'll always have someone to play games with. To which he responds they might not like games. You can counter that if they're constantly surrounded by games, they'll become a familiar source of comfort, and they'll likely love games. Same for any cartoon or anime he makes them watch. He'll give you plenty of excuses, but they're all bullshit. His biggest reason(and secret) is he thinks he'll be a horrible, embarrassment of a father. His child won't think he's cool, and might even get bullied a lot. I mean, imagine having some lame Otaku for a father. Sad, right? But just tell him that his child will love him because he's their father, and no matter what, they'll be proud to call him dad, just like you'll be proud to call him their dad. He tears up afterwards, and maybe a while later, he'll shyly approach you and tell you he's ready. He'll pay less attention to video games and anime for a while, but when he gets a break, if he's not sleeping, he's catching up on all the anime. His worst fear is his child becoming lonely like him. So he makes sure the child grows up with a pet of some kind. That way, they'll learn to be social. Oh, and if it's a boy, he'll try his damndest to name him Henry, and if it's a girl, Hana and/or Yuri. The brother he trusts the most is also Lucifer. He would say Beel, but he doesn't want him to eat his child (Beel would never), and he would say Asmo, but he doesn't want to receive an Asmo Jr. Oh, and Mammon isn't allowed near the child.

7. Belphagore

Last, and least surprisingly, Belphie. A child is wayyyyyyy too much responsibility for little old him. Plus, they cry all the time, he wouldn't be able to sleep. I'm not sure if you really could convince him to have a baby. If you did, it would be years in advance before he would agree. I think the best route is to just prove to him that the responsibility will be shared (and worth it), and he could still get sleep from time to time. Which would help. But if y'all ever do have a baby, he'll slack off a lot. You'll probably get into a couple of arguments because you'll be doing most of the work in toddler and infant years. (Most likely to get divorced over the child if y'all are married. Not saying it will happen, though. Just most likely out of the brothers.) Eventually, after ranting to Beel, he'll realize he has been a shit father at first. To the child, and to you. (Thank Beel for getting through to him). Like Beel, his worst fear is his kids not being safe. He really doesn't care how they turn out as long as they're happy and healthy. After he finally starts taking initiative as a parent, he becomes over protective. If its a girl, he sees Lilith in her, and he wont let her go. Obviously, he trusts Beel the most with his kids.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Not a Bad Holiday Season

Hey! I hope you had a great holiday season! I was wondering if you could write something sweet about Virgil and Logan after the secret Santa episode. No pressure ofc, Thank you you’re the best <3 – lapassemirrior

Read on Ao3

Pairings: none

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1225

“No, but that doesn’t work within the context of the other clues…”

Virgil smiles as he ambles down the hallway, listening to the soft mutterings on the other side of Logan’s door. From the sounds of it, Logan’s hardly stopped to breathe since he figured out that the newspaper wasn’t just a newspaper. He hesitates for a moment, just a moment, before knocking on the door.

“Come in?”

“Hey,” he says as he steps through, “wanted to check if you—whoa.”

He thinks he can be forgiven for truly coming to a dead stop when he sees the fucking conspiracy board Logan’s got where his whiteboard usually is. The original newspaper is still on his desk, the eye in the hurricane of notebooks, pens, and paper strewn about, but he’s made copies of certain parts and pinned them to a corkboard. Fucking hell, he’s even got bits of red string connecting picture to picture—if he didn’t know any better, he’d ask if Logan were working with Roman or Remus on some film noir idea.

“Virgil?”

He snaps himself out of it. “Sorry, I, uh, I guess I’m glad you’re having fun?”

Logan’s face splits into an almost manic grin—shit, maybe he really has been spending too much time with Remus. “This is incredible, Virgil, I can’t properly express my gratitude until I’ve completed your puzzle. I have to ask: did you do all of this truly by yourself?”

Virgil scratches the back of his head. “Eh. I may have gotten Princey to help with some of it.”

Logan frowns. “Roman?”

“Well, yeah, he is Creativity too. And he’s—okay, I’m not gonna spoil it ‘cause it’s his idea, but he has this thing he’s doing right now that’s gonna be really, really cool when he gets around to showing it off, so—“

He trails off when he sees Logan still frowning at his desk. He takes a step closer, nudging him with an elbow.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It really is nothing,” he says, “I suppose I’m surprised that Roman would be willing to…help you with such a thing.”

Virgil frowns. The irritation that Logan had expressed when he’d first looked at the newspaper, the almost resignation he’d had when he’d immediately moved on, it’s starting to show in his face right now.

“L,” he says, trying to get his attention, “why is it surprising?”

“Well,” Logan huffs, adjusting his tie, “you know.”

”I don’t. Can you tell me?”

“It’s Roman.”

“Yeah. Creativity. Making things. Doing stuff for us.”

“For you,” Logan corrects, still not meeting his gaze, “not necessarily for me.”

That’s funny. As Virgil remembers it, Roman had been hesitant to help him at all until he’d told him it was for Logan. Then he was practically climbing all over him to help out.

“But perhaps in the spirit of the holiday, then—“

“Logan.”

Logan stops. He takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. Virgil lets him, waiting until he’s put his glasses back on and sat down. He leans against the edge of the desk and waits.

”That was unfair of me to say,” he mumbles, “wasn’t it?”

“Maybe a bit.”

“I…didn’t mean it to be spiteful.”

“You sure?”

“…maybe slightly.”

Virgil chuckles, rubbing his shoulder. “It’s okay. I know you and Princey have your moments.”

“But I have those with everyone,” Logan continues, staring off into space, “even—even with you. When I didn’t realize what your gift was at first, I…”

“Hey,” Virgil murmurs when Logan’s breath hitches just a bit too much for his liking, “you’re okay. It’s—look, the holidays are a stressful time for everyone, it’s not fair of me to hold it against you.”

“Thank you.”

“And, uh, I think any ARG that loudly screams hey, look at me, I’m a big fucking puzzle kinda fails at being an entertaining ARG—“ Logan snorts— “so I don’t blame you for taking a second to get it either.”

Logan hums, leaning against Virgil’s side. His glasses squish slightly into his ribs and he turns to fix it. “You’re right.”

“And hey, you really look like you’re enjoying it.” He gestures to the board. “You got your red string out and everything.”

“Well, I realized that I could take notes on my computer or in the notebook, but…” He can hear the moment the smile curls up his face. “I decided I might as well have fun with it.”

“That’s the whole point.”

“Thank you,” he says, softer now, turning to look up at him, “I really do like the present.”

Virgil chuckles. “I got that. Glad you’re having fun. What part are you at?”

“Part?”

“How much of it have you solved already?”

“I’ve just gotten to the QR code you managed to hide inside the picture—how did you do that, by the way? No, no—“ Logan holds up a hand as Virgil starts to explain— “don’t tell me just yet, I’ll make a list to ask you once I’ve finished everything.”

Virgil just grins and holds up his hands, stepping back as he watches Logan get up and start working on something again. He wanders over to the board after a moment, looking at all the pieces. Shit, he knew Logan would be good at this, but Janus would pop up if he said he’s a little disappointed that some of the puzzles didn’t take him longer.

Though, he notices with a grin, it doesn’t look like Logan’s cracked the big one yet. That’ll be something to look forward too.

“But enough about that,” Logan says, “did you come here for anything specific?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Pat and Princey are making a fucking feast for dinner and they’ve asked the rest of us to put together a movie marathon. If you, uh, if you’re willing to step away for a sec?”

“Certainly. Give me one moment…” Logan scribbles something else down on the piece of paper and pins it to the board—damnit, he got that one too, he really is good at this, maybe he should’ve made it harder— “there. Alright, what is everyone thinking? There are a few generic thrillers that have come out recently, Remus was talking about a disaster movie—“

“Wait, they made another one?”

Logan rolls his eyes as they head out to the hall. “It’s quite a profitable genre, despite the rampant suspension of disbelief that’s necessary for full immersion, so yes, I’m sure they did.”

“I don’t know about you, but I think not having to think too much sounds like a good thing.”

Logan chuckles. “Yes, well, you’ve been kind enough to give me quite the puzzle to keep me entertained for a while.”

“I really am glad you like it, L.”

“May I be honest?” Virgil nods and Logan glances around, leaning a bit closer. “Even if it had just been a newspaper, I still would have appreciated it as it came from you.”

Well. Shit. Now he’s blushing. And Logan’s looking at him like that and yep, they’re going to find the others right now.

All in all, not such a bad holiday season.

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[loafyall]

"Who did this to you..?"

(CRASHES INTO PART TWO OF "I can't")

Hi!

Okay well I kinda lied that I would write the part two of "I can't" in a day but it took me three days so i apologise for making everyone who read part 1 and were waiting for part two!

I had exams going on and I'm finally free!!

---------------main story..----------------

Summary : Yanqing is found the next morning of the incident, In an abandoned street of the Aurum alley, It's time for jing yuan to find out what happened to Yanqing and jing yuan's about to kill, torture that bastard and he is planning too.

--------------------------------------------

Yanqing was never this late at coming home and reporting back to jing yuan, Well, Yanqing was always late at coming home, But it was different.

-he wasn't home at all.

It was only until morning that Jing yuan realised that Yanqing hasn't came home yet, Which obviously, Got jing yuan worried, Perhaps he's with dealing with mara-struck? Or already at the training grounds?.

--no, Yanqing would have never woken up before jing yuan, It's unlikely for him to do that.

It's probably around the time for Noon before jing yuan starts slightly panicking as he hasn't seen yanqing in such a while already, Eversince the patrol started last evening, He hasn't been home since. Perhaps he could ask madam Fu or the helm master about yanqing's whereabouts but he already knew their answer would surely be no.

There's loud knocking on the door, It's probably the knights.

And yes it was the knights, Just as jing yuan thought, Why were they here?, That's when the bad news comes in when one cloud knight finally speaks.

"General, There's something you need to see." That cloud knight respectfully speaks, His head bowed down. "It's about lieutenant yanqing." And that's where jing yuan eyes widened at the mention of his (son) retainer.

"Please, Go on." Jing yuan said, Trying his best at remaining calm, But he couldnt.

That's probably when the other cloud knight tells him, Yanqing was found in some dark abandoned street of the Aurum alley, And that's what Sushang had reported in earlier.

Now jing yuan was worried, Way worried about his retainer, he got up from his seat, As he put his own pen down in which he was signing his paperwork with.

"We'll need to go there immediately, Send a medical party there immediately, You may be dismissed." Jing yuan had said that in an authoritative tone, He was going to kill that bastard who did that horrendous thing to yanqing when he finds out who he is, He's in great trouble.

---------TIMESKIP...--------

"Tch, Can't take the whole thing in one go and had to pass out that early?." That's cloud knight said, That bastard who tried to Do the Ungodly with Yanqing, Yanqing was practically crying and aswell as shaking as he tried to cover his half naked body.

Some bruises and scars were around his hands and back, Few on his legs, His tears soaking into the ground and his clothes, Yanqing's Vision was blurry, And with pouring rain it made it all worse.

Yanqing felt like he's a worthless child who doesn't deserve happiness, The way he's been traumatized is Ungodly, There were bodily fluids, and blood was there, Which could've made Yanqing vomit, Blood was gushing out from the bruise given by that bastard, Yanqing as going to going to pass out soon because of the pressure.

Yanqing's tears didn't come to a stop as he laid there, Motionless, He was unsure of what to do, He wanted to try and get up, But that man who did this to him had him pinned down by his foot on Yanqing's stomach, It was sure that the guy would leave a few more bruises on him before feeling satisfied .

There was a loud scream coming out of yanqing's dry throat when that bastard punched Yanqing on the stomach, Yanqing was tightly gripping on his own stomach, Trying so hard not to cry as he looked at that guy.

And that scream alerted The other cloud knights who were trying to find Yanqing by Jing yuan's order.

"shit." That bastard cursed as he ran away not to be seen by the cloud knights as he put on his knight uniform and that bastard ran away, Leaving Yanqing fully finished and traumatized.

And that's where Jing yuan found Yanqing as he followed the shout.

But Jing yuan immediately came to an abrupt stop when he saw Yanqing.

Covered in bruises, His hair messed up badly, Blood almost everywhere, Yanqing's tear-soaked face as yanqing looked at him, Jing yuan sweared to Aeons that he wouldn't vomit, And then there was a dry, Crying voice coming out of Yanqing.

"G-general?.." That was the only thing yanqing said, Before he Passed out into his exhaustion.

"Yanqing!." Jing yuan couldn't think of this, This was the last thing he wanted to imagine to happen to yanqing, He quickly rushed to the boy, He removed the hair coming on his eyes.

Thank Aeons that boy had just passed out, Or there could be worse casualties than that.

"Knights!, we found him!, Get him back to the Medical institution." Jing yuan ordered as he lifted up Yanqing in his arms.

That boy barely weighed alot, He was fit and all, Although he doesn't eat alot and jing yuan who's knows how many times he has scolded him to eat and not skip his meals.

TIMESKIP

Anger was already boiling inside Jing yuan as he watched Yanqing being operated by the Alchemy commission's healer Lady, Bailu.

The question on jing yuan's head was

'Who and why did they do this to him?.'

Jing yuan litterally would litterally kill the person and make sure they go even worse in the shackling prison, Maybe Jing yuan would but the balls of the guy and choke him with his own hands and feed the remains of the bastard to Mimi.

But for now, He just had to be there for Yanqing.

Slowly, Yanqing opens his eyes, He doesn't seem scared, But more relieved as he's out of that bastard's grasp, He doesn't even realise that Bailu's talking to him.

"heyyy!! Don't ignore me!." Bailu just pouts, As she stared at Yanqing, Yanqing looks at her.

"sorry.." Yanqing sighs.

"Are you okay?." Bailu asks

"...." Yanqing isn't sure how to respond, He doesn't want to worry Bailu, So he simply states "yea, Much better than before." Yanqing just puts on a small smile, Before staring at his hand again.

"Yanqing." there was the same familiar voice, Jing yuan, His eyes were softer, As he say down beside yanqing's bed.

yanqing has the feeling to cry as he say his (father) General, He wanted to tell what that bastard did to him.

"who.. did this to you?." Jing yuan said, As he held yanqing's other hand, Yanqing gulped and looked down, Not wanting to show his tears.

"I-im sorry General, I-i didn't know how to stop him, I know, I'm too weak." Yanqing admitted as tears feel down his eyes.

Jing yuan couldn't believe what yanqing just said to him, Yanqing was never weak, He is a child, A child with ambition to be the best, But that bastard who did this to him, Needed to be punished In the worst way possible, That guy tried to take Advantage of a Child, A FREAKING 14 YEAR OLD.

"Oh yanqing.." Jing yuan sighed, As he pulled the blonde boy into a hug, "it's not your fault and it was never your fault, you're still 14, I should also be the one to blame here to sending you with that cloud knight." Jing yuan said, As yanqing cried into his arms. "Who did this to you?." Jing yuan asked, As yanqing let out a voice. "A cloud knight named.... Xiun."(Yes I made up a name.)

Now jing yuan was clearly angry and wanted to punish that bitch called Xiun, He sweared if he sees Xiun, He will murder him alive and feed his remains to Mimi, Who would be very happy to Eat the meat.

But for now

He's happy that Yanqing's alright, He needs to recover, Mentally and physically.

-------END--------

Note : OMG MY HANDS ARE ACHING LITTERALLY FOR WRITING THIS FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT AND I HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING YET

I hope you enjoyed this part!! Let me know if you want an additional part of Jing yuan ruthlessly murdering that Bastard to did that to Yanqing!!

Sorry for any grammer mistakes and all, I hope you guys liked it! (Btw part 1 is in my Blog, Go read that before you read this!!!)

[reaganseyebags]

i have a request that im not sure I’ve sent in or not but it’s about Reagan having an assistant that helps her out with anything and one day they notice she’s really stressed so they offer to go down on her, basically how would she react to that? <3

Ohhhh YEES

//NSFW, MINORS STAY AWAY!

Reagan is a great boss.

Working with her is awesome and difficult at the same time. You never really know in what mood she’s gonna be.

Tho you know she would never hurt you in any way, shape or form. When she’s mad and angry just just punches something or keeps her distance. Same goes when she’s stressed.

Today was one of the days. She had to go to some stupid meeting with her father and well- she didn’t look happy about it.

When she came to her lab you said good morning to her but she couldn’t really answer. She just waved at you and sat down. Didn’t even look into your eyes.

“Miss Ridley? Is everything ok? You don’t look well”

“Listen reader eh- I have a meeting with my shitty dad and I just can’t bring myself to do anything.”

“That’s ok. What do you need help with? I’m sure I can help you-“

“No you can’t!” she yelled at you. You jumped at the tone of her voice. This was unusual. You have never seen her this stressed and scared.

There was a silence for a moment. You couldn’t bring yourself to say something. You really wanted to tho.

“Sorry reader. I didn’t expect to scream like that. I just- can’t really focus on anything now” her voice was quiet. You could hear how she regretted the screaming.

“It’s ok miss Ridley. Is there something I can do for you right now?”

“No I don’t think so- I will try to do my paper work. You can have a break if you want.”

Bullshit. There was always work for you to do. You didn’t really question it. You just nodded at pulled out your phone.

With the corner of your eye you could see that she pulled out some papers, pen but also her headphones. She likes to listen to white noise while she works. Or just she wanted just a moment for herself.

Again, you didn’t really question it. Tho you I hoped there would be something to help her. I don’t know maybe some tea or massage. Or- shit you got it.

You waited for about 20 minutes for her to get into her work. Most of the time she was just staring into the paper.

Now is the moment. You stood up and walked to her desk. She didn’t notice your movement so that was good. It’s gonna be an extra surprise ;)

You quietly got under the table. First you have to think of strategy. You just start with stroking her thighs and then she notices you, you stroke her inner thighs. Not too fast but not too slow. Her legs where already pulled apart naturally so this is gonna be easy.

So you did exactly what you planned, you came closer to her, set your head on her knee and your hands started slowly stroking her thighs. You tried to keep the movement slow and gentle. You know how sensitive she is and you were gonna abuse this knowledge.

At first she didn’t notice it but the moment your fingers accidentally touched her inner thighs she jumped like a rabbit.

She looked at you with pure frustration in her eyes.

“Reader? W-what are you doing? S-shit”

You brushed you cheeks on her thighs, your hands slowly reaching to grab her pants.

“Doing you a favor miss.” you said with smirk on your face.

You waited for a bit. Of course you didn’t wanted to rape her or something. You simply waited for permission to keep going.

She was red. Like- she had a hard time processing this moment.

“I’m not gonna do anything if you don’t want to Reagan. I’m waiting for your permission”

She couldn’t bring herself to speak. She just nodded at you. You gave her a bright smile.

“Thank you! It’s pressure to work with you! Now sit down and enjoy the ride”

Damn I’m too lazy to finish the rest but this is a pretty good idea for a fanfic

[bloomingdarkgarden]

Saw you were feeling down, so I decided to give you some love.

Writing. Ah man, writing is such a horrid thing to be good at. Your mind is at a constant war, for the ideas you have keep battling each other. Everything, and I do mean everything inspires new ones.

The ability you have to write is a gift. You may get a novel length critique, but now that a novel lenght love ode to you can be written me every day, and for every rude comment.

I like to think of myself as a writer too, that was consumed by the loudness of worlds I created in my mind. I have not written a word for almost two years. But You, dear friend, inspired me to pick up my pen once again.

I am for ever grateful 🩵

Never allow the emptiness of others, over shadow your ability to create a life on paper.

Much love,

- M.

Thanks honeybee for such encouragement, it means a lot. I am warmed to hear you are writing again and am sending creative energy your way ✨✨✨

People are under the belief that I am a seasoned writer or something and dissecting the story as if AO3 were goodreads or some shit. I have never written anything in my entire life before this. So when people think I know what I’m doing my instinctual reaction is like

The Darkgarden is a jumble of my own personal monologues more than anything else.

I need to step away from her for a while. My current association with the fic isn’t great, and that coupled with the insurmountable pressure of like thousands of people reading every update has me shrinking. She needs to breathe. I’ll be moderating comments for the time being.

Throwing some fun moodboard stuff on queue for tumblr but in general need to separate a bit from acotar and write independently of internet engagement. Probs on my other fics, there’s less pressure there and they are soothing to write. Turning off anons for a bit too.

Not doing great on a few fronts. Currently watching the only thing I live and breathe to protect being actively destroyed everyday. I can’t say what that is doing to my soul.

all i can say is that i am burning right along with her.

Xoxo all my love.

[iraprince]

i've been wanting to get into digital art for a while, and I'm thinking of getting myself a tablet for this christmas. Any product recommendations?

i would say, particularly for a first tablet, i don't recommend a wacom, even though it's what i use currently (and what i'll probably get again if/when i eventually upgrade to a screen tablet). this is because, while the quality is great, they're very pricey in a way that isn't proportionate compared to other brands. it was one thing a decade ago when wacoms were often much better than other options, but now other brands have caught up and there's no reason to shell out that much extra unless there's a reason u need a wacom specifically. (i.e. i got my current wacom tablet as a gift years ago, but i would spring for wacom as a screen tablet bc i've done a lot of research on cintiqs vs other options and i think for my job i do need the extra oomph in terms of stuff like screen resolution/latency/parallax — not because a more expensive tablet/better performance will make me "draw better" but bc i spend so many hours drawing per week that better performance will reduce friction and make my job easier. if you're not concerned about "this device is about to be a massive part of my life so it had BETTER be the best machinery i can afford," i don't think the extra expense is worth it.)

also, specifically, the wacom intuos 4 pro is a piece of steaming fucking garbage from hell and its cord port WILL eventually die for no reason, and wacom support will not help you because how do you prove it died for no reason even though dozens of other ppl online have clearly experienced the exact same hardware failure, and then you will have to buy an external universal camera battery charger and remove the fucking tablet battery and charge it once every other day at an outlet BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CHARGE IT WITH THE CORD ANYMORE and only use the thing wirelessly. not that i know anything about that

so!!! with that said. my very first tablet was a tiny wacom bamboo (idk if they even make those anymore?), and after that when i had to replace it i got a monoprice. that was a long time ago so i can't vouch for current quality — pls look up recent reviews and do research on anything u pick — but my exp w monoprice was that it was crazy cheap and perfectly good quality. setting up the drivers was a complete nightmare, but once it was working it ran like a dream without any problems and i don't remember ever having to fuss repeatedly with driver resets, reinstalling shit, losing pen pressure, etc (all problems i have had with wacoms, and still do occasionally). that thing took me through several years of art school and then several more years after without an issue and only gave out when the actual hardware was starting to go from wear and tear, i.e. wires were getting loose and it had been dropped a few times.

those are the only ones i have personal experience with, but i've heard very good things about huion tablets, and they seem like a good middle ground of higher quality than monoprice vs cheaper than wacom.

general tips: get the biggest one you can afford, you'll be using it for a long time anyway and the very small ones are hell on your wrist. consider getting one with shortcut buttons; if you end up liking them you'll use them all the time, but if you don't (i never personally got into using mine!) they don't get in the way, so it's no harm. and when you get your tablet, find the pressure settings (there will almost definitely be a menu that comes w your tablet software, but also check your drawing program as well) and adjust the pressure sensitivity so you don't have to press down super hard!! this will save ur wrist.

[einsatzzz]

*sliding into your inbox on fuzzy socks, rocking my very own labcoat*

*adjusts glasses*

*whips out clipboard from hammerspace coat pocket*

*clicks pen*

"I HAVE READ THE WIKI AND SOME RANDOM POSTS (which i spam liked) AND I COME BEARING QUESTIONS!!!"

*points pen at Kurumi*

"YOU! You have a sentient, hoverboard great sword! AND IT CAN CHANGE ITS SIZE! That's the coolest shit, literally super hardcore badass, please be my friend so I can watch you smack the shit out of people with your sword. Questions time: How much sentience are we talking about here? Can you get vague feelings from it when you use it or is it just it "chooses its wielder" kind of sentience? How long can you hover? Is there a time limit? Do you ride your sword into battle?"

*strangles urge to ask more sword questions and chooses the next topic/victim aka Yui*

"Heya lab coat buddy! Caused any explosions recently? Set something on fire? Well, never mind that. I've heard you trolled Kurumi by teaching her swear words in foreign languages, which btw nice prank!" *holds up hand for high five* "so ... do you speak these languages fluently? Or did you just look up curse words for the lols? If you do speak them fluently, what languages do you speak? Also, do you have a favourite mechanics project, like is there something you made which you are very fond of?"

*turns to Kana, sees the glare and wisely decides to back off for now*

"Uhhh.... Yeah that's it from me for now!" *quick glance at Kana who's still staring holes into me* "Yes, yes, I'll be on my way BUT! I will come back, just you watch!"

*slinks away into my gremlin cave*

----

Well... that just happened *sweatdrops* I should really come with a warning label at this point with the amount of questions I ask. Take all the time you need, pick it apart however you want and please no pressure to answer all of them, I know I can be a lot lol 😅

*crawls out from under a big rock after temporarily escaping the underground stuDYING jail* Thank you so much for sending this ask Lix! I had lots of fun coming up with how to draw this out 😆😆 It actually became my daily (almost) 30 min drawing exercise so that I don't get too rusty jfhdkdhdjd so it took a while, but here it is now! Also I added a smol Chief last minute in there, but I have a different wip planned for him hehe (with how im struggling rn with studying, prob won't be able to finish till july since I'll be a bit semi-inactive after this post dkgdjdgxjx)

Anyway hope u enjoy! Looking forward to other asks you can come up with and send over to Yuipachi-sensei hehe (they're really really good practice tbh!) This even made me finally draw a design for Kanarobo lmaoo it's inspired from Mi/kuda/yo and Ne/nero/bo actually.

[theladytheythem]

TAG GAME

tagged by @hauntedclown, bestie since college

Last Song: Incandescent Ruins by The Mountain Goats, their album Bleed Out has been all I've been able to listen to for a week now and the only thing that might maybe change that is Speak Now (Taylor's Version) coming out tomorrow.

Currently Watching: I just finished watching The Owl House -- which I LOVED and am in the lurch between shows rn. The Great with Elle Fanning has season 3 now which is EXCITING but I'm not ready to jump back into that lovely deranged show yet.

Currently Reading: HA. I just finished the 4th volume of The Scum Villains Self Saving System, which was INSANE and wonderful. Many thanks to @stripeyworm for planting that parasite in my brain. I'm still in the middle of War and Peace, I DO want to go back to it because it IS fun but I need to make a pact with myself to skip all the war parts about Napolean because those are BORING AS SHIT and just read the chapters about Pierre and Natasha and all the original characters. I also just started a book called Greenwood by Michael Christie, which my sister's new boyfriend loaned me. He doesn't know I'm bad at recommendations yet but I return volleyed by loaning him House of Leaves so maybe that will motivate me.

Current Obsessions: TOTK, my and my friend's OCs which I need to get back to, cars -- I'm buying a goddamn car tomorrow so yeah been doing hella research and finding new and wonderful ways to shit on BMWs this one will not be long lived thank god, FOUNTAIN PENS (thanks to @softest-punk for their long infodump about those) and most recently GLITTER FOUNTAIN PEN INK, Bleed Out, Taylor Swift always, my cat The Duchess.

I'll tag mutuals @great-pan-is-dead and @surikane and also @stripeyworm and @softest-punk since I mentioned y'all here. No pressure to do this if you don't wanna.

[instantartific]

ও Neon J Headcanons

Ooh, I got a dollar in my pocket! // So, turn the music up and get it poppin'!

I'm tryna have some fun before I die slow- // So, all that really matters is tonight!~

♡

Note: the majority of these headcanons have to do with Neon being disabled one way or another, but some delve into the results of his (unresolved) trauma in the war, including phantom pain to poor mental health.

Neon isn't actually his name. It's what he was referred to back when he was a soldier. Out of respect to his brothers, he keeps the nickname alive. "J" is just his middle initial. Anyone who knew his actual name from him directly is long dead or plain ol' gone. A background check isn't exactly that difficult to work out, though, seeing the, er... y'know. Every surgery.

While his radar is definitely better than nothing, it isn't exactly great. His ability to actually see detail in anything he looks at depends greatly on how far out the signal is being sent and how he personally feels that day.

On a good day, he can actually somewhat see the outlines of the pens and papers lying on his desk, and can even write if he feels like it. On a bad day, it's almost completely dark and all he can tell is that he's facing a solid roughly shorter than his waist.

That being said, what is shown on his display isn't exactly what he's seeing. It's his interpretation of the information that he's gathering from the environment around him. People can completely disappear from his vision while still being close enough to be 'seen'; on the flip side, people can show up on his radar that don't actually exist.

He surprisingly relies on hearing a lot. He can track and identify people from how fast they walk, how they carry their weight, if they drag their feet, all before they start talking. He's around 1010 enough that he can identify them by walk alone.

Let alone having to rely solely on tone to identify emotion.

Memorization is essentially key in every aspect of his life. Which is a big reason why touching shit without asking, AND not putting it back where he knows it is? Single easiest way to royally piss him off, obviously outside of insulting his kids. Insulting his kids is the fastest way to make a very, very strong enemy.

Second easiest way is stairs. Goddamn stairs. Rin or one of the other boys have to help him with any set of stairs outside of the ones in the mansion. They announce when he's coming up to a set of stairs, count his steps, and announce when he's on solid ground. He has eaten shit cause of foreign sets of stairs so many times.

Outside of the boys, he uses a retractable walking cane to get around areas he's unfamiliar with, or if there's just too many people around in general. While his focus is directed on people moving around him, the cane keeps him from walking into things lower than his focus is set.

This cane is also 100% used as an impromptu weapon, if the need be. If you really think he's afraid to hurt someone just because he's trying to change now, you'll be solely mistaken. He's just much less trigger happy these days and would never cause harm for no reason. Self defense for himself or anyone he cares about does not count towards this.

He has absolutely caught one of the boys slipping and calling him 'Captain Whack-a-Mole'. He appreciated the effort to be PG.

He experiences phantom limb almost constantly. This usually isn't an issue, but if he's really out of it, he'll forget to actually move his physical body (swearing up and down that he moved his, well- original one instead. The sensation of moving his nerves is still very much there, and it's different from the sensation of moving the mech.)

He's not foreign to experiencing phantom pain from this as well. And with the inability to take any "pain killers", placebo or otherwise, he simply has to go through the torture with little to nothing to alleviate it outside of putting pressure on the area.

The more the phantom limb acts up, the more likely he is to be seen limping or using the cane to walk rather than feel where he's going. He makes an effort to keep it as subtle as he can, but there's only so much he can hide without being able to see what it looks like.

He wears two rings on his right hand: one black band on the pointer, and one gold band on the ring. Both simple, both relatively unassuming. But if he feels alright, he'll share that the gold band was his father's promise ring to his mother. And the black one is one in mourning them both. What can he say, he's sentimental.

He never really received help after the war, actually. He was primarily on his own. Just dumped off after his entire life had been stripped of him. That's the main reason why he chose to start repurposing those war bots. He'd never say this out loud, but he... initially just wanted someone to talk to again.

He considers himself to be anything but a good man, and will get uncomfortable if called anything like a hero. He feels that he's done a lot of bad things, and he now wants to improve himself and do better as a person, but he still holds a lot of past guilt.

And hearing distorted, off-sounding voices were easier than organic ones for a long time, even if they couldn't put up good conversation. At first, that is. Over time, though, he found that they were capable of far more than he first expected. And damn him for being sentimental, but he got attached.

He would have performed his own music himself, if it wasn't for the fact that being recorded (and not knowing who does and doesn't know what) makes him extremely paranoid. He's anything but shy, and certainly knows what he's doing, he just hates the thought of someone being able to see him without him knowing.

His greatest guilt and greatest regret is unintentionally programming 1010 to care more about their fans' love than their own lives.

[ladyalisette]

How to make your fan plushie: Part 2 - Fabric and Sewing

So. You got your pattern. You’re reasonably confident in what you got going on with it.

Time to pick a fabric.

Personally, I prefer to work in fleece for the main part. It’s got some advantages:

1) it doesn’t fray, so I don’t need to hem it. Since I’m doing all my sewing by hand, not having to hem this shit is VITAL to the continued existence of my carpal tunnel.

2) most fleeces are the same on both sides. You can’t fuck up the direction of a fur or the pattern or the shiny vs matte side, which imo makes them great beginner’s fabrics

3) they tend to stretch equally in both directions. This does, again, make your life easier because it means the plushie won’t distort weirdly during stuffing if you accidentally flipped a piece somewhere

4) soft, yet not so fuzzy that it will start obscuring the details. A lot of my work got small details going that you just cannot get on plush

Generally speaking, I buy my fleece at a local store, in person, if possible. It lets me touch the fabric, and hold up threads and other pieces to it to see if the colors much. BUT. if the internet is all you got? Go and use it, no shame in that.

Now, there are two other kinds of fabric I regularly use in plushie making: one is thin felt, and one is satin ribbon.

The felt is for flat, detailed applique work that would suck in fleece. You can only cut fleece so small before it starts disintegrating on you. Felt can be cut finer before you hit that point.

The lion is felt, because cutting the mouth in fleece would have been suffering.

The other thing is satin ribbon. Now, this does especially for ghosties, but you may use this knowledge as you please: it’s hard to make fabric glow. Fleece doesn’t look shiny, it doesn’t catch the light, the structure isn’t meant for it. Satin however does just that.

So if you have a detail on your plushie that you want to jump out, something that should glow and shine?

Like this?

Satin ribbon is your friend.

The contrast will let you approximate without having to fuck about with electronics, and satin ribbon comes in endless colors, many widths, and can often be bought by the meter.

Otherwise, depending on your subject, you may want embroidery floss (the XIV up there is embroidered on).

Then you bring it all home. You lay it flat on a surface of your choice (floor for me), and you trace all your pieces onto the fabric. I use both tailor’s chalk or a plain old ballpoint pen, depending on how dark my fabric is. Both work fine. Use what pleases you. Just note that if you need a lot of pressure to trace your pieces, you may distort/stretch the fabric by pulling on it

HOWEVER FOR THE CUTTING i cannot overstate how much a pair of dressmaking or fabric shears makes your life easier. They are handsdown the best sewing investment I’ve ever made, even if you need to handle them with a bit of care and can only use them for fabric, ever, they make it SO much easier to get good cuts. Expensive fabric markers you can skip but shears are so good. Get yourself some shears.

Anyhow, you trace your stuff, you cut your stuff, your result should look something like this:

(this is  Mr.Bean’s Teddy before assembly begins)

Now, if you’re new to this, my suggestion here would be to pin a few things together, see if the sides match up like you want them or if anything got stretched in the process. If you’re confident that it’s all to size?

Get your needle and your thread and get sewing. small pieces you may be able to just hold together, otherwise you can baste or pin them. I usually prefer pins.

I use bog standard thread, doubled up, knotted at the end and then I just...put everything right side together (meaning: the outside that you can see has the trace marks on it, the inside is pristine. Because the now-inside will be the outside once we flip this over) and sew ahead. My suggestion would be to use the trace line the line you sew along. It’s an easy marker to where your stitches should be and it’s there already anyways.

My preference for a stitch is a regular back stitch as explained here:

Now my method is to overlap the stitches a bit, so instead of going to the end point of the earlier stitch, i end up somewhere near the middle of it. I find that it makes a tighter, and more secure hold. As for stitch length: this depends on how big the thing you’re doing this, and your personal preference.

Also: do not let people tell you that you HAVE to go left to right or right to left or that it got anything to do with your dominant hand. Work in a way that is comfortable for you. I’ve switched directions between pieces, it’s really just a matter of what works for you, in that moment. So. you get going and you start putting your things together.

Just remember: you gotta turn that baby out later, so if you’re making an orb? Leave a seam somewhere only partially done, we’ll need that to flip it over. The size of the opening depends on how soft your fabric is and how much fabric you gotta pull through but better save than sorry. Sewing up a bigger hole later one makes no difference, but if you’re rough and rip apart your stitches in the process, the repair can be a real bitch. Knowing how much space you need again comes with experience.

[wyrddogs]

Kermit update

Rambling thoughts on training him. Under a cut for length.

We had racing last weekend and it did not go well. On Saturday Kermit raced against his mother and uncle, both of whom he does not like, and on the third heat he quit. That evening I took a hard look at how I had managed him all day, and on Sunday I changed basically everything. Instead of putting him in a pen with the other smalls, I brought his crate and favorite pillow and put him in a quiet area with Bindi all day. I pulled him from the races and just did practice runs where I slipped him and caught him. No muzzle or racing jacket. Just a nice relaxing day where the only goal was to have fun. I ended up running next to him on the course and he had a blast. Jumped straight into the air when he realized I was running with him, and was prancing ahead of me as we walked off the course.

So I learned some valuable things about how to set him up for trials. Basically he needs a lot of the same things Bindi does-- a safe quiet place for him to rest, and a bunch of support from his handler. Right now he does not enjoy racing other dogs; it’s too much pressure on him. Might take a break from racing totally for a while and try out Fast CATs, which are much shorter and the dogs run as singles. He loves chasing the lure but racing is too much.

Anyway so I felt like shit all week.

Today we did another agility fun day with my trainer and her advanced students. Big open course (I think UKI?), which we broke into small parts because it was far too advanced for Kerm.

We’ve been working on his fear of bridges/dogwalk since he fell from that tree in December. Today I took him over the dogwalk, rewarding heavily for basically every step. After three reps he was running up by himself. Slowed down near the top of the ramp, which is the part he is also leery of on bridges, then he was fine. We did a a three obstacle sequence with the dogwalk and despite me being incredibly late on my blind cross-- turning it into a rear cross, I was so late XD-- he dodged around me and took the dogwalk. Super pleased with that.

We worked on the low teeter as well (he once leaped off of the end and scared himself, so we had to take a big step backwards there too SIGH) and he did great. A little unsure but very willing to try. Got lots of praise and dehydrated salmon as treats, which really got him proud of himself.

He runs out of gas really fast on these fun days. He is incredibly physically fit but an entire 20-obstacle course wipes him out.

Talked with my trainer about it and she said, well, he is a novice dog. Look at all we are asking of him:  Run in a new area, with unfamiliar people and unfamiliar dogs, on different obstacles than he sees in class, in grass that is up to his chest, dogs and peacocks and livestock making noises in the distance, and he has to tune all that out and pay attention to what his handler is cueing him while he runs the course. It takes all of his mental energy. Of course he’s tired.

She said that he can definitely build up more stamina as he gains more experience. She suggested I enter him as FEO at the trial in November and just use it as a learning/experience opportunity. She also thinks that this is the same issue he’s having with racing-- it takes all of his mental energy and doesn’t leave anything over for the physical work. And it’s just because he’s a novice dog.

So I am feeling better about it. We’ve got field trials coming up this winter, and I think those will also end up being just learning experiences. He isn’t a dog that can be thrown at things and be expected to cope. Once he gets his feet under him and understands his job and is confident about it, he should be golden.

Still gotta remember that he is only two and a half. He’s doing really well and he is a really nice little dog. My trainer really likes him and apparently talks him up to her other classes (my friend is in a beginner class and texted me that my trainer was gushing about Kermit to her students).

Anyway, that is how we are doing right now. We’ve got our new nosework class tomorrow, so that should be fun. He did great there two weeks ago. Immediately was placed in the advanced class. He loves nosework.

[skwigelfskwisgaar]

He hadn't even heard himself arguing with the Klokateer that scooped him up like a rag doll. But he felt it as he tried to tell them that air was hard to suck in and out. The other had quickly begun to escort Toki away while they got him stabilized.

In. Out.

Fuck. Toki. He couldn't even see where they had walked off with him, the Klokateer that had come to help him regain his footing and his breath trying to ground him with simple words in Swedish.

In. Out. I can't... I can't!

He forgot that most of the 'hoods' assigned to him and Toki for anything from healthcare to housekeeping were usually trained with both Swedish and Norwegian. His hand he had clamped on the neck of his guitar instead reached out to the Klokateer, and grabbed the first thing it did so he could shake them in frustration, he could barely breathe and they were ordering him around like he wasn't Skwisgaar Skwigelf. His throat was tight, but he could at least argue with them with simple words and actions.

"Sir, try to follow me. In, then out."

I can't! His chest felt fit to burst, the burn in his lungs as he took in air telling him he needed more but it was too much at the same time --

"Yes you can sir. In," the Klokateer said as they remained stock still despite Skwisgaar's attempts to get out of their grip and to hit them, "now out." And slowly as the seconds turned to minutes, air slowing coming in and out of his chest, did he feel his chest release the pressure that had built up in the frantic energy of whatever the hell had possessed him.

Eventually the fight left him, as he followed the Klokateer's pattern. He was breathing. His chest ached less. His throat was tight but for other reasons. The ringing in his ears went away. Almost suddenly he felt like all the energy eked out of him, and the Klokateer began to give him slow instructions to take in water and to eat the small bag of chips they gave him. But his hands paused, unable to move with the elegance or grace he took pride in. As he got picked up and carried to a seat and another Klokateer approached him, he felt like his bones were lead. Like his ears were radio tuners and he couldn't find the right frequency for the noise around him.

His eyes landed on the glint of the strings on Toki's guitar.

Perhaps it was good that Toki didn't see Skwisgaar crash and burn. Perhaps it was bad, because he called him important. The most important. His vision was flooded with the face of Twinkletits as he talked, but all he was hearing was his thoughts. Maybe it was a good thing Toki was taken.

He didn't need to see Skwisgaar battle with a panic attack.

He had his own problems. Shit, Twinkletits was going to ask him questions. He was here. He blinked as if it would process that the man was here instead of responding to his interrogation.

'That's what this rock talk is for! To help you process. To heal.'

He had said this the first time he had 'panicked', when he had gotten the news that his counterpart had been asked to play at that festival instead of him.

'He doesn't hate you. And that's worse.'

And it must have been something similar to getting drunk because he remembered being on the same couch his panic attack grew out of control, and suddenly waking up in his all white room. His eyes focused on the bright lighting when he realized the large vaulted ceiling was way too close to be his room.

"Waits, dis amnst...?" He shot up, propping himself on his arms as he took in the room around him.

"Yeah, you had a panic attack and then had a crash when we couldn't get you to come down from it. We brought you here to make sure you weren't dying or something."

He jolted and looked over to see the asshole doctor. He clicked his pen, scribbled on his clipboard, and then stepped out. But in stepped Twinkletits, both sharing a small nod before the man smiled at him.

"Fucks."

"Yeah, that's a great way to sum it up, pal! Want to rock talk about it?"

"...do I looks like I wants to talk?"

"At some point, you're going to need to."

Skwisgaar gripped the covers before ripping them off, and trying to rip off his gown next before he gave up and just sat up properly. His legs he threw over the edge of the bed, his toes touching the tile first. He was bone deep exhausted, and he flexed his fingers to at least see their dexterity.

"Have you been taking your meds?"

"Ja." Pointers, thumbs. Pinkys, ring fingers.

"Do you take them as prescribed?"

"I amnst Toki, I --!" He snapped his mouth shut, looking down to the floor where his feet rested on the cool white tile.

Toki. Shit. Shit shit shit --

"I had quite the puzzle to assemble from last night's event. You know your friends care about you, right?"

He nodded. Twinkletits approached the bed, sitting next to Skwisgaar and placing a sticker on his arm.

"And I can't tell others what you tell me. So. What happened before you met up with Toki?"

"Amns stupid. Mine ex called."

"An ex? I didn't realize you had one." The sound of a pen scribbling away on another clipboard made him want to pluck at his Explorer. But it was probably back at his room, and he wasn't anywhere close to it right now. So to ignore it, he answered instead.

"She calls to do a stupids talk. Accuses me of ... stupids idea. And it hurt to hear de words from hers. She amns ... she doctor of de psychos-logickals, and I's lost mine cool."

"So clearly, she affected you negatively. Why did you 'lose your cool' over your ex giving you a call?"

Skwisgaar shook his head. He wasn't going to even entertain the notion. He couldn't.

"... amns stupids. I's not doingsk diskuschions on dis."

"Alright. Then what happened?"

"I lose mine cool."

"Skwisgaar. I'll have to talk further with you, so expect a follow up, but here." Twinkletits gives him a bottle. It's pills. He has half a mind to chuck them but his arms feel so heavy.

"I'm changing your meds a bit. These are 'as needed'. Take them when you find yourself unable to calm down or expect to be in a situation that will make your 'lose your cool'."

He was left alone once he got 3 more stickers. As he got his clothes on, the IV off his arm, and a note with bed rest and the bottle burning a hole in his back pocket, all Skwisgaar wanted to do was crawl under the sheets and furs of his bed and hide.

Embarrassment burned through him as a Klokateer escorted him back, and promptly stood at the door. Probably to make sure he followed through on the bed rest order.

If there was anything stupidly embarrassing it was losing his cool. Even worse, this time it was in front of someone, and that someone was Toki fucking Wartooth.

Toki. Shit.

He grabbed his phone, but paused. But he typed out a pitiful message before hitting send. He hoped his Norwegian was passable that Toki could understand it.

From: Skwisgaar

To: Toki

"I had a panic attack. I'll be better soon. You didn't deserve to see that.

I'm sorry."

[beforethepoison]

I love poetry and writing and stuff. And I think the fact that I am not mixing this stuff with my professional life and putting pressure to make some money or get to be known is helping me not to ruin the good feeling that I have in doing it. Music, I love music, is my first love, my obsession but it's a love that I have some issues lol. Like, it's very expensive to maintain a good instrument (specially guitar), is something that I had to struggle to learn, to HAVE a instrument, to make my parents to convince them, I suffer alot of humiliations and situations of SHIT and embarassement of myself and now, I don't know any musicians around me to encourage me. So write has been a great getaway. And its alot of cheaper, because, I have a computer and I have paper and pen. And internet access. I'm writing poetry officially for 3 years now, but I have been doing all my life really. Making lyrics for characters that I would invent myself as a kid, making my diaries...So it's a sorta of silent rebelliousness

[princewished]

🍓🥺

send me a 🍓and I'll compliment you!

ALLISON ALLISON ALLISON ALLISON ALLISON ALLISON ALL

when I say that some of the BEST rp fun I've ever had in my eight years of roleplaying have been with you, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. our threads had me staying up WAY past my bedtime, giggling madly at 2am as I tried to stay quiet, penning my responses by moonlight like I was some ninth century scholar or else stealing snatches at work to jot down thoughts for replies on my phone. i've just had the best time of my life roleplaying with you, to be completely honest.

I remember being so shy when I followed your alfred. I was just a baby uhtred blog back then and definitely admired you from afar, because your characterization, your prose, your everything was just so good, and here I was, bumbling onto the scene clumsy as could be, and I remember thinking to myself if this blog follows me back it will be an ACTUAL miracle, and I might just have to convert back to the christian god.

(spoiler alert, you did follow me back, but i admit I did not convert back to the christian god. oopsies.)

anyway, I didn't want to seem over-eager or like I was pressuring you for replies, but from the get-go things were just so FUN! and then one day you told me that this was some of the best fun you'd had on alfred in ages, and I swear I could have shot through the roof by how happy that made me DSAHFJKASDF just! knowing that I was also making you happy and that you were having as much fun as I was!

and then, well, I consider us a bit like two peas in a pod now to be honest with you - alfredperdiems and dailydoseofragnars tend to do that to a person, I reckon - but really, you've just been such an amazing influence on me. I think you really taught me how to enjoy myself when I was rp'ing again.

I don't know if I ever told you, but I was going through a really rough point in my life when I started my Uhtred blog and talking to you just made me smile so much and brought me so much joy that I really can't thank you enough for just! being you! because you did that.

I look back on some of the threads we wrote pretty often - not only just to remember what a great time it was, but because I grew an INCREDIBLE amount as a writer in an ASTONISHINGLY short time, which I partially credit to you as well. my quality of writing rose to meet yours, and I look back and admire the threads I created and go back to REFERENCE the shit I wrote with you just to see if I can recreate some of my favorite turns-of-phrase.

overall, you're just incredible, and our time rping together has been incredible, and this is so long and probably rather sentimental but there you have it jksdhjksf. also,

have a happy little alfred-per-diem