#this post reeks of autism sorry

[love-etherlyy]

oh yeah baby jay ferin playlist :3 as always i'll keep addin and removing stuff here and there cause i can never be satisfied ever but here it is for now

click here to open it in spotify

ramblings about it under the cut :)

(you don't have to read them but i hyperfocused and accidentally spent like an hour writing about this playlist so it would make me happy if you did)

so let me preface by saying it's like a combination of "i think this character would listen to these songs" and "these songs remind me of this character but idk if they would listen to them" cause listen. okay. i just combine all my interests so it's basically songs that i think jay would relate to because of the lyrics and also songs jay would like because i project my interests onto every character and just idk. i wanna make something jay would like but also suits my autistic little brain whatever. i realize i explained that like shit but idk how else to put it

soooo. jay ferin guys. i love jay ferin. but also if you know anything about me its that i love 2000s/2010s alt rock emo shit and that comes through in this playlist mostly with the paramore but listen. LISTEN. she is so paramore coded YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. big man little dignity. let the flames begin. ignorance. playing god. ALL I WANTED. ESCAPE ROUTE. YOU FIRST. AND MORE. you cannot tell me hayley williams didn't write these songs about jay /j

AND LIKE OKAY let me go on a little tangent here but native tongue is so albatrio coded like HWHAGHDRGHEJHRJQHERJKJ sorry i had to violently stim i got so excited like THEY JUST UNDERSTAND EACHOTHER AND THEY COMPLETE EACHOTHER AND AND AND LIKE OTHER PEOPLE MIGHT THINK THEYRE WEIRD OR WHATEVER BUT THEY JUST GET EACHOTHER OKAY. OKAY?? AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. WAUUUUUHGHH I LOVE THEMMMMMM :(((( /POS so yeah like not all the songs are about her relationship with her father but also with her relationship to the crew (also like clarification ig i don't view any of it through a romantic shipping lens. my aroace ass like physically cannot so like view it however you want to)

okay sorry back to the rest of this

OOH wait actually i wanna talk about the cover art for this playlist cause OH MY GOD. this is my favorite jay ferin fanart EVER. it's my pfp on discord and fucking everything. like i knew from the start that i wanted to use that art for the cover art i love it so much., like i'm obsessed with moon and star aesthetics if you couldn't tell from my layout, and it even bleeds into my irl style cause all of the accessories i wear are moon and star related (earrings, rings, necklaces, etc.) so when i saw this fanart for the first time i fucking SCREAMED. THE COLORING IS SO PRETTY AND I SCROLLED THROUGH MY BOOKMARKS ON TWITTER FOR LIKE 15 MINUTES TO FIND IT so so shout out @Labannori you basically painted my mona lisa

oh yeah btw link to @Labannori and the original post here

okay BACK ON TRACK FOR REAL NOW

the sleeping with sirens songs are basically the same thing in that the lyrics remind me of jay, but i just wanted to bring up a trophy fathers trophy son in particular because that song has personally victimized me and the amount of scrobbles i have for it on last.fm is frankly, embarassing

i actually went and looked for this, it's 160 scrobbes and my #18 most played song of all time. so i guess it's not as bad as i thought but still.

melanite martinez i wasn't as sure about adding because i had a very specific vibe i wanted for the playlist i wasn't sure she fit (that's also why i didn't add any of my other favorite musicians like pierce the veil, fall out boy, or more mcr, like my brain just wouldn't let me.... there was A Vibe i needed and i think it was just traumatized girlboss which, as much as i love those bands. they don't capture it ((i don't know why sleeping with sirens is an exception to this kellin quinn is just a magical man okay))) but i like portals more than her old stuff and the two songs i added off of cry baby just fit jay's story i think

the mcr songs i added very specifically remind me of jay's relationships with the crew, albatrio are lowkey very danger days coded if you really think about it

mitski, sleeping at last, and marina are all artists i like but i dont really listen to, like i like their vibe but i know like 10 songs. but i mean for the traumatized part of the traumatized girlboss vibe (is that actually what i'm calling this) mitski and sleeping at last fit and marina's music is like both depending on the song so i thought they were fair adds

and finally the halsey stuff i was the least sure about adding not because i didn't think it fit the vibe but because i just started listening to halsey like this past week and im not as familiar with her songs and the themes of them as i am with the other stuff i added so i didn't wanna add something and its like actually a huge mischaracterization but i thought the playlist needed more variety ad i figured i can always remove stuff later on (or add more as i listen to halsey more) but yeah. i do wanna say i think i am not a woman i'm a god fits jay very well

the next stuff im gonna add is probably gonna be from me listening to other jay ferin playlists and seeing if there's anything i like in them, it helps with artist variety and just getting stuff in the playlist that i'll know fits jay but isn't music i listen to

so anyways yeah i'm gonna close this out here cause i've been writing this little section for like an hour and i have work tomorrow LOL and it's easter so we're gonna be busy (i hate retail) so i hope you guys enjoyed my autistic little ramblings and i hope you look forward to more playlists. i gotta make an official post for my ashe winters playlist after i clean it up a bit so that'll probably be my next post :) i'm cookin up emizel and shiloh playlists next, emizel's will probably come first cause i already have some ideas for what i wanna add (its mostly linkin park and system of a down so far) and shilo i only have like a vibe in mind but no artists to go with it so i gotta think on that a little more. so yeah that's all for now goodnight everyone

edit: i just thought of this but if theres a song you think sould go in the playlist of you want my thoughts on a particular song and why i put that specific song in the playlist feel free to send me an ask :)

[dannystheone]

DUDE I LANDED ON MY BED AND POSTED THE UNFINISHED FIC ON ACCIDENT IM A DUMMY 

But the ask was for another Style fic with Kyle cheering up Stan after being broken up with Wendy again 

At first I was unsure about this ask but my imagination RAN with it autism won today boys 😎

BUT YES HERE YOU GO THESE CHARACTERS ARE TEENAGERS!!

Of Course Dude, Anything (Lee Stan/Ler Kyle)  

WARNINGS: Intoxicated teenager and swearing

Wendy has broken up with Stan for the fourth time and a drunken Stan finds himself at Kyle's house to cheer himself up.

I hope you enjoy! :) also these are pulled from my own drunk experiences lel and long intro sorry

                                     ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

 No word from Stan had Kyle worried that night. They were supposed to watch a movie and chill this Saturday, but no matter how many messages Kyle sent, he didn't get a reply. He figured Stan blew him off to hang out with Wendy again, as he's done before.

 Whatever. Kyle can hang out by himself. His parents were on a date and Ike was having a sleepover, so Kyle had the place to himself. He wasn't doing anything particularly exciting; just laying on the couch with the TV on and scrolling through his phone. But it was quiet.

 Dom Dom Dom-

 At least, it was quiet. Knocks at the front door made Kyle perk his head up.

 DomDomDom- DomDomDOMDOMDOM-

 Whoever was at the door was getting incessant. Kyle groaned as he heaved his body off the couch and opened his front door. A wave of alcohol and cold night air whooshed in through the open entrance.

 "Kyyyyyllllle!" Stan stood behind the door, a wide lazy smile across his flushed cheeks. His bleached hair fell in his blue eyes as he held his arms out wide. Stan stepped forward to hug Kyle, but his heavy body fell into Kyle's. Kyle braced himself as he took in Stan's weight as Stan stumbled in through the entrance.

 "Stan? Aw dude, what the hell is this-" Kyle heard a bottle's liquid content clink behind him. Stan held the neck of a bottle of alcohol while he hugged Kyle tightly. Stan reeked of liquor and cigarettes.

 "Kyle- Kyle it's so- *hic* -it's so good to see you. I-I haven't seen you in ages-" Stan's words all slurred in an indecipherable speech. Kyle rolled his eyes as he helped Stan into his home and shut the door behind him.

 "I just saw you at school yesterday?" Kyle pointed out as he tried to get Stan to stand by himself. Stan glued himself to Kyle's shoulders.

"I know it was too long! You shoulda drunk with me dude!" Stan rested his head on Kyle's shoulder as Kyle's cheeks burned. It was embarrassing to deal with drunk people like this.

"Come on, let's get you upstairs." Kyle took Stan's arm around his shoulders and started helping him up the stairs to his bedroom.

"Ooooo- going to Kyle's rooooom! I wonder what's gonna happen in theeeeeere!~" Stan called out loudly; his head rolling onto Kyle's shoulder and poking Kyle’s side with his other hand. Kyle slapped Stan's hand away.

"Dude shut up you're too loud! You're gonna wake the neighbors!" Kyle hissed at his best friend. Stan sputtered a mixture of laughing through his nose and snorting.

"Pffmmtshshh- Oooooo gotta be quuuiiiieeeet guys- it's too looooud for Kyle- pssshhhh- quieeeetttt-" Stan put a finger over his lips to shush himself as Kyle groaned and opened his bedroom door. Stan detached himself from Kyle's shoulder as he stumbled across the room and plopped on Kyle's made bed.

"Auuuhhh duuude- your bed is soooooo comfy! Oooohmm my Goood-" Stan dropped his bottle of liquor on Kyle's floor, which miraculously stayed upright on the carpet. Kyle sighed and picked up the bottle to place on his nightstand. Kyle turned the bottle to peek at the label. A bottle of Jose Cuervo tequila. Definitely swiped from his Dad’s cabinet. 

 Kyle raked his curls out of his face as he took a seat on his bed. “So what happened tonight? Who were you drinking with?” Kyle asked Stan. Stan’s shoulders started jumping while he laughed face-down in Kyle’s bed. 

 “I didn’t know *huc* you were my MOM Kyle-” Stan shifted on Kyle’s bed to lay on his back and rub his hands on his face. Kyle rolled his eyes as he stood up and pulled out his phone to call the guys. The phone ringed for a few moments before Kenny and Cartman picked up on group call. 

 “Sup Kyle!” Kenny greeted. 

 “Wha’dyou want Jew-” Cartman butted in with the sounds of a video game filling the background. Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose as Stan sat up on the bed and held his arms out to Kyle. 

 “Kyle? Kyle *hic* can I have a hug?” Stan pulled Kyle into him as he smooshed his face in Kyle’s side. Kyle held his face to contain his patience as he spoke to Kenny and Cartman. 

 “Were any of you guys drinking with Stan tonight?” Kyle asked. Kenny shook his head no as Butters popped into frame. 

 “Not me. I’ve been hanging out with Butters.” 

 “Oh, heya Kyle! Good to see ya!” Butters waved enthusiastically. 

 “Not me, been too busy killing goddamned Japs-” Cartman responded with gunshots in the background. 

 “What’s up with Stan? Is he fucked?” Kenny asked. Stan perked up at the sound of his name and tried to peek at Kyle’s phone. 

 “Kenny? Kenny is that you? Dude we should fucking invite Kenny here I wanna hug him!” Stan pulled on Kyle’s wrist to bring the phone closer to his mouth. Kyle grunted as he was forced downwards towards Stan. “Kenny! Kenny get your ass over here so I can hug you!” 

 Kyle took his phone back as Stan took back his original position with hugging Kyle’s side and his face in his belly. 

 “You tell me if he’s fucked or not, Kenny.” Kenny snorted as Butters giggled in the background. 

 “Alright, I’m leaving this call. See ya, queermos.” Cartman clicked off the call, leaving just Kyle, Kenny and Butters. 

 “Sorry dude. Let us know if you need help. We didn’t drink with him tonight.” Kenny responded. Stan started giggling in Kyle’s belly, the vibrations Kyle could feel through his clothes. 

 “Hmhmhm- Kyle has a bellyyyy~” Stan took a deep breath and blew a big raspberry in Kyle’s stomach, before laughing hysterically at his own action and falling back into the bed. Kyle pursed his lips in annoyance as he went back to the guys on the call. Kenny and Butters were watching Kyle with amused glances. 

 “Well, good luck with Stan, Kyle! And congratulations on having a belly and stuff!” Butters smiled with Kenny before clicking off the call. Kyle sighed as he looked to Stan on his bed. Stan was breathing peacefully with his eyes closed. 

 “Stan, why did you drink tonight? You know we have practice tomorrow.” Kyle sat back down on the bed; Stan immediately hooking his arm around Kyle’s waist. 

 “Wendy broke up with me.” Stan responded clearly. Kyle looked down at his friend, his mouth slightly agape. 

 “Oh dude...oh my god-” 

 “I thought this time was *hic*...gonna be different.” Stan moved his head towards the ceiling to speak more clearly to Kyle. “I thought this was gonna be the time I make- I do it right, y’know. But...she didn’t give me a reason.” 

 Kyle didn’t know how to react. He started rubbing Stan’s back in soothing circles with his hand. 

 “Stan I’m- I’m so sorry buddy. I know she didn’t-” Kyle felt Stan’s ribs contract under his hand. Kyle looked down to see Stan rubbing his face against Kyle’s blankets as tears rolled down his cheeks. 

 “Hpph- Why didn’t she give me a reason Kyle- I thought we were gonna go all the way and do it right this time. I thought I wasn’t gonna screw up, but I did, anyway. And I don’t even know what I messed up, just the fact that she broke it off so cleanly with no fucking remorse-” Stan bitterly wiped away his tears, but more came in their place. 

 “Snff- And-And I wanted to treat her right so badly, I wanted her to know I loved her and adored her every single day but it still wasn’t enough. And I was so sorry that I screwed up yet another time but I couldn’t. I love her so much, Kyle. She’s my everything. And I lost her.” 

 Kyle breathed in heavily and gave Stan a hug as well as he could in his upright position while Stan held onto him tightly. They held each other for a moment while Stan shed tears down his face. 

 “You can’t blame yourself, Stan. She could be going through a rough time and giving her her space is the one thing you can do for her. If she truly wants you back, she knows where to find you.” Kyle explained while he rubbed Stan’s back. He hated to see his friend get his heart broken over and over, but he’s come to get used to it. And he’s come to loathe Wendy as a result. 

 “But I miss her...and I wanna know what I did to make her wanna do what she did. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Kyle. I don’t know what’d I *hic*...do without her.” Stan rubbed his eyes to rid himself of more tears with the sleeves of his jacket. 

 “I’m sorry dude. I wish I could do something to help.” Kyle rubbed the back of his neck while Stan sat upright on his bed. It physically looked like his head was swirling. Kyle couldn’t imagine how he actually felt. 

 “Well- *hic* there’s- you can do me a weird favor, if you want.” Stan said with lidded eyes. Kyle nodded his head fervently, his curls bouncing with the action. 

 “Yeah, of course dude, anything!” Stan rubbed his eyes harshly of any tears, leaving his face scrubbed and worn. 

 “You can- heh- y-you could tickle me if you wanted to...” Stan carded his fingers through his bleached hair as Kyle looked puzzled. 

 “...Huh?” Stan leaned back on Kyle’s bed with his forearms behind him as his eyes grew lidded and tired. 

 “I just...I just wanna laugh and forget about everything for a second. Clearly *hic* clearly fucking booze isn’t helping at all cause I can still feel my heart shattering-” Stan held a hand over his heart and laid back on Kyle’s bed. Kyle held a handful of his blanket to think. If it would help his best friend out of this sadness he’s gotten into...and he did say he would do anything...

 “Okay, I’ll do it.” Kyle declared. Stan gasped dramatically and threw his arms up in the air to celebrate. 

 “Yaaaay *hic* th-thank you Kyle! I loooove yoooou~” Stan threw his upper body on Kyle to give him a hug that was very heavy. Kyle winced as he shoved his hands up Stan’s ribs and started scribbling into them. 

 “Dude, get off me.” Stan squealed in his throat and curled up in a ball, his knees tucking into his tummy. 

 “Gahahaha! Kyhyhyhyle stohohohop!” Stan lazily bat Kyle’s hands away, but they were easy to avoid. 

 “You told me to do this?” Kyle tried to lessen the intensity by just moving his fingerpads across Stan’s sides softly. It didn’t help. 

 “I knohohow buhuhut ihihit tihihihickles!” Stan’s eyes narrowed in his laughter as he tried to curl into a tighter ball. Kyle groaned as he squeezed Stan’s thighs to get his legs to come down. It worked. 

 “Ehehehehee! Kyhyhyle stahahap ihihihit!~” Stan gave a zesty ass response as Kyle squished his fingers into Stan’s thighs. They were jeaned and Kyle was still squeezing relatively light, but Stan was still giggling enthusiastically. 

 “Is this making you feel better yet?” Kyle groaned. He’d love nothing more than to just get Stan cleaned up and headed to bed. Stan nodded with pink cheeks as Kyle moved up to his sides and squished in the skin. 

 “Yehehehes! I-hehehee!” Stan covered his face with his arms to cover up his blush. Kyle took the stupid easy opportunity to scribble all over Stan’s tummy. Stan laughed earnestly as his elbows shot down to cover himself. 

 “GAHhahahaha! Kyhyhyhyle dohohohon’t tihihhickle mehehe!~” Stan giggled like a schoolgirl as Kyle blushed madly. This was embarrassing as all hell. 

 “Alright fine, I won’t.” Kyle stopped tickling Stan, but Stan complained and went to hug Kyle around his waist. 

 “Kyle noooo- don’t leave me. Please- I’m sorry...” Stan rested his cheek against Kyle’s thigh as he still embraced him. Kyle sighed as he rubbed Stan’s back. 

 “I’m not leaving you dude, I’m right here-” Kyle heard a burbling sound come from Stan. Stan sprang up off the bed quickly and grabbed Kyle’s trashcan to relieve his stomach of its contents. 

 “Aw- dude! Sick!” Kyle exclaimed. Stan heaved as he set the trashcan down, and face-planted on the bed. 

 “Aw dude- I’m so fucking sorry man- I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” Kyle shook his head as he raked his curls back. 

 “It’s fine man, don’t worry about it-” 

 “No no no- I’m sorry, Kyle I didn’t mean to-” 

 “It’s fine dude! Just-” Kyle looked over at Stan. He was snoring, totally passed the fuck out. Kyle sighed as he got up slowly to not disturb Stan, and removed his best friends shoes and carefully removed his jacket. He tucked Stan in with a fluffy blanket of his and turned out the bedroom light. 

 Tonight gave Kyle a headache like he’s never had before. Well, until Stan’s next breakup, that is. 

[mogai-sunflowers]

just saw a post that I just. huh 😭 it said “I wish poly people were more oppressed than trans people” op was a trans girl, talking about polyamorous people, and ?? the amount of likes/interactions etc the post had was absurd

im a genderqueer, genderfluid, trans, xenic, aroace, bi gaybian girlboy who is polyamorous and I had to?? what?? is this an autism joke?? are they talking about Polynesians?? which would be awful as well?? is this satire??

the comments though. lord. “being polyam is a choice. it’s a joke, they can’t be oppressed” “hey let’s tag that one guy who talks about polyam stuff to start drama” “poly people aren’t queer. cishets can be polyamorous” ahdjahdhajs ??? /neg

how many times do we have to say that:

- first and foremost, infighting only helps the oppressors

- polyamorous people literally can’t get married almost anywhere. ie, oppression

- most non-queer people. don’t like polyamorous people!! they view it extremely similarly as they would to any other queer identity

- this reeks of anti-aspec rhetoric

im a bit shaken up a bit now so apologies if any of this comes out wrong pr inconsiderate to anything else, but I just really needed to get it out. I thought we had been over this before, how queerness is so much more than just gay and trans and genderqueer, more than being aspec, how it includes so much more than that and has for almost forever D:

anon I’m so sorry you had to see that, that was just a fucked up thing for that person to say like why would you WISH OPPRESSION ON SOMEONE in the first place???? exclusionists are so sad, like accepting others is such a joyful experience and they live like. In misery because they can’t experience the queer joy of our beautiful diversity. it’s so frustrating because like you said, polyam people still don’t have marriage equality like. anywhere. but it’s like, even if they did, they’re still going against pretty much every social norm of romance and sexuality. So if they wanna ID as queer why would that be bad?? Exclus are strange. You’re wonderful anon.

[furiousgoldfish]

I've been reluctant to talk about this because this is not a struggle I deal with, but I ran into a forum post where parents of an autistic child were saying absolutely heinous monstrosities about the kid, and I couldn't believe the amount of contempt it showed. Reading the replies, I found out that a vast majority agreed with the dehumanization of the child, and realized this is the norm, this is what society believes is acceptable to say about children with autism.

The post I saw went like this: (tw for ableism, abuse, victim blaming, disregard for autistic child's happiness)

"You have no idea how hard it is to raise an autistic kid, they need attention 24/7, they're aggressive and have meltdowns over the tiniest things, all teachers and doctors hate them and have problems with them, and at the end of the day they won't even give you a hug to show that they love you."

So for autistic children and people, I am so fucking sorry. This is absolutely devastating and none of you deserve this insane public, or private amount of hatred. This is not be acceptable to say or think about any human being on the planet. I had no idea this was the norm and publicly acceptable to speak this way, or that the parents of autistic children were actual demons online.

It's henious to publicly declare yourself a victim because you have to give attention to your child. This is not the child's fault. I found out after talking to an autistic friend, that no autistic child is naturally aggressive. What this mother did was out abuse, she's saying she hurt her child so much they're constantly afraid and overloaded with stimuli, and this is what actually caused the aggression she is not complaining of being a victim of. This should not get ignored. This child is not safe.

Any child will have a meltdown if pushed to it, and the only correct response is to give them compassion, space to express their feelings, de-escalate the situation, comfort the child, and teach them how to gently regulate their feelings back to normal. If this is impossible due to capitalism, work, life, society, this is NOT THE CHILD'S FAULT. The child deserves this much in the LEAST and if you can't provide it, don't have children.

Sensitivity and sensory overload that leads to a meltdown can be avoided if the child is given the environment they're not overstimulated in! So an autistic child having constant meltdowns is a child uncared for, unprovided for, exposed to constant hell on their senses, who is breaking down due to how much pain they're in. Meltdowns are horrid on their body and psyche, this is not something that they choose to experience, or should ever be gaslit about. If they're having a meltdown, their distress and preventing them from experiencing even more pain, should be a priority.

Autistic children are also not the makers of a system that isn't built for their well being, so they are not to be held accountable for ineptitude or cruelty of any doctor, or teacher, or the lack of resources these people have to do their job.

And parents are not entitled to a hug from any child. Requiring physical affection from a child shows you're not interested in caring for a child, but getting validation and satisfaction from them. Any child can have multiple ways to express affection and appreciation, requiring a physical demonstration of it is narrow-minded and neglectful of child's feelings.

The entire tirade in this post reeks of parental entitlement who expect not to have to care for their children, don't have any intention of respecting their child's space or physical boundaries, blame the child for the state of the world, state of society, having feelings, having needs, showing pain, showing anger, wanting bodily autonomy, and not bursting with gratitude and validation for the parent. This parent's problem isn't that their child is autistic, they would happily neglect and abuse a 'healthy' child too. But since the child is autistic, they decide to turn the contempt up to 300 and disregard the child's life experience publicly and play the victim of becoming a parent. Any person capable of love for their child, respecting physical boundaries and recognizing basic signs of discomfort and willing to give someone space, will not have trouble understanding an autistic child.

Autistic kids are just kids. One of the signs of autism is moral integrity, and that is not something as well known as all the symptoms people find inconvenient. We as a society have a responsibility to give them a life that isn't painful. Our personal comfort and lack of understanding is not a good reason to force them to deal with harassment, stigmatization, and public abuse perpetuated by their own abusive parents. We have to stand up to this.

This post was written thanks to a lot of help from a friend who decided to stay an anonymous source autistic information.

[auckie]

I’m so clean and anal about it but I’m also a huge chemophobe when it comes to harsh cleaners. Like the smell harms me and I wilt. And despite being really tidy and autistic about dust and crumbs and HAIR and always vacuuming or whatever I’m like a fucking dog in that if something smells bad I smell it like seven times and think about it and then go back to smell it again. Like the other day I threw out some bad pozole from the fridge and it was bubbling. On its own, in tuppaware, having been refrigerated. I smelled it and had to squint my eyes shut Snd clench my fists and go SHIT and just stand there for ten seconds. Then I smelled it again. Cause like. It’s interesting, how gross it is. You know? Like I wanna know. Why is this so nasty. It’s different if it’s like the smell of bleach or if a guy reeks of BO. Like I don’t wanna smell that. But if I open a container and white spores swirl out into the air and it smells like someone’s been dead for three days. It’s not smart and it’s not good and I don’t LIKE it. But I’m going to smell it. Like I’m gonna take a sample then cringe. Then think about it, and go back and inhale a few more time’s yknow? Like. It’s smell autism. I have smell and taste autism where I LOVE it and go fucking bananas over good food and good smells, and I’ll eat or taste anything. I cry over food regularly bc I’m so overjoyed to be eating it and going on a taste journey. But even when something is bad I’m just so intrigued by it. Like. NEW flavor. New, negative flavor and smell.

But I’m normal autistic about loud noises and flashing lights where I just have to duck and cover till they go away bc I have horrible misophonia. Actually flashing lights are aok! And I’m normal about touch. Wait no that’s not true I get sooo pissed off when ppl touch me and I’m not expecting it bc I’m like EW gross. Sorry I’m rambling bc the jar. I can smell it from here and I’m tossing and turning. The smell. I wish I could make you smell it through this post.

[thechangeling]

I was reading your co-signing the narrative post- great post btw- and your thoughts on Kit Lightwood helped me figure out exactly what bothers me about the way other characters talk about and treat him.

So, there’s this kind of this running “joke” in TLH that Christopher’s interests are boring, that everyone else puts up with it him as though it’s this big nuisance, that everyone zones out hearing him talk… and on and on and on.*** And then there’s this scene where Grace is genuinely interested or at least not bringing him down about his self-expression and the things that bring him joy, and that’s romanticized as special when it’s really kind of the bare fuckin minimum. Like, I’m not saying James/Matthew/Thomas had to immerse themselves completely in every sciency detail but the constant “jokes” implying that Christopher’s work is boring or incomprehensible or not worth their time is just so tiring. There’s always an undercurrent of “Christopher’s just playing around uselessly” (which is not true and even when he’s having fun with his work then it’s still automatically WORTHY and VALUABLE because it makes him happy!) Not to mention this recurring problem directly contradicts the value that Christopher’s work has (beyond its inherent value) when he sends it into the world to literally save lives: the poison antidote, the fire messages that will probably come about in CoT.

And the thing is, the merry thieves’ disinterest is directly meant to foil grace’s interest in order to lend the Grace/Kit relationship a certain significance, as CC assigns to it. I’m not saying shared excitement over an interest/hobby/career/field/etc isn’t sweet platonically or romantically. I just really dislike how the idea CC is using is “no one else can bear to tolerate Kit’s ‘quirks’ but Grace, and that is Endearing, and so they are Soulmates (TM)” rather than the much healthier and positive idea that “Kit does cool sciencey stuff which his family and friends generally don’t share as strong a passion for but still don’t huff about it like it’s somehow a chore or a burden on them, and then Grace comes along and she does happen to share a similar passion and that’s the beginning of their ties to one another.” That second reasoning is what could make their friendship really refreshing; we don’t need ableism poorly twined into romance to enjoy that relationship.

I haven’t read TDA in a while but I’m thinking we could also find touches of this with Ty partly because so much of when we see him is from Kit’s POV? Not that Kit means harm or thinks himself heroic but CC on the other hand is a repeat offender in “abled/white/straight/cis character is ultimately and completely responsible for the salvation of disabled/POC/queer character in this aspect.” And I’m kind of half dreading the wicked powers for that reason among others …

I apologize if all this seems obvious or rambly. I do sometimes have trouble articulating things exactly but when I read your post i had a lightbulb moment and I wanted to note it down.

Have a great day!

***Side Note: this is why I really enjoy fan-created content that explores Christopher’s relationships with people (even people he didn’t interact with on-page in the canon) without that annoying and problematic aspect built into the framework of the relationship.

^^^^^^^^^THIS ALL OF THIS!!!!!!

Full disclosure this is gonna be kind of long sorry. But you have stumbled across my favourite topic to rant about. Allistic saviorism. Basically the name is pretty self explanatory. It's when an allistic person fictional or otherwise has the desire to or actively attempts to essentially "save" the autistic person from the horrors of the world or their life, or even themselves because they think that the autistic person isn't strong or capable enough to fix/handle it on their own. All of this is usually done for very self serving reasons. Part of this is also allistic people being praised as heroes for being nice to autistic people or asking them out, or loving them.

I don't neccesarily think that kitty is an allistic savior ship on it's own. I think that there are definitely peices of those beliefs scattered throughout the books and it might get worse in TWP. That's honestly something that I'm worried about too tbh. But honestly I think that the fandom made it a billion times worse.

This mainly allistic fandom wanted to romanticize the idea of Kit taking care of Ty and shouldering the burden of his "unpredictability." Kit is the only one who can get through to Ty. The only one who understands the mystery that is Ty 🙄. Some of this is canon too. For example, Ty can look Kit in the eye, he lets him touch him. He doesn't wear the headphones when Kit's around right? And Kit was able to calm him down during his meltdown.

And while some of this is really cute from a romantic perspective, it's also kinda problematic because it reeks of allistic saviorism. It promotes the idea that Kit is like Ty's "cure." And that's just impossible.

And honestly I know I've contributed to this in some ways. Because if I'm being perfectly honest with you, there's a part of me that enjoys that. The romantization of autism.

The idea of being taken care of.

The idea that someone could love an autistic person and see them as "beautiful" and "extraordinary" and all the things Kit calls Ty, was incredibly moving and appealing to me as a kid. It still is. Because I grew up on stories of charity cases and allistic saviorism making headlines with prom dates. I was super secretive about it, but I was always a romantic growing up. But I thought that it was impossible for me to have a real love story because people like me don't get that. (Not to get all sob story on you sorry. I overshare. It's an autistic thing.)

And there are some really compelling things about kitty that really do work. And I'm not trying to suggest that Kit learning to help Ty with the ...shall we say more colourful traits of his disability is a bad thing always. It's not. But I think the issue is with Ty's lack of pov and Ty's lack of a narrative in the books. It makes him seem like less of a completely developed character and more like, "Kit's" you know?

And because we don't have Ty's pov we don't really get what makes Kit have this sort of calming effect on him or why it's different. And more importantly we don't get why Ty's letting him in, we only get Kit pushing past his boundries. The entire thing becomes about Kit essentially and that's at the root of all allistic saviorism.

Also like you mentioned before, Kit is seen as special to a certain extent because he can handle Ty. That's not neccesarily something the character believes obviously, but again with CC co-signing the damn narrative with the way she makes the impact Kit has on Ty such a big deal in everyone's eyes and in QOAAD she really emphasizes the drain Ty's necromancy plan is taking on Kit, suddenly Ty's grief becomes all about Kit and with no pov from Ty, it's more allistic savior bs.

Honestly most of this isnt actually THAT bad it's just when you throw it all together and look at the ugly history and let's be honest present, of autistic people being silenced and spoken over by our caregivers and loved ones and we are treated like burdens on them, and how those people are praised for loving us, it kinda looks bad. But the fandom definitely made it worse.

I always get criticized for criticizing kitty by allistic people with, " well if you think they're so toxic then why do you even ship them?" Which is a piss poor take lacking in any nuance. An autistic person has the right to critique a dynamic involving an autistic character. More to the point, you can love something and be critical of it. I swear when this fandom finally figures that one out... we could accomplish so much.

I'm really hoping this is making sense it's like 2 in the morning. As for Grace and Christopher's dynamic I agree with you. I basically have nothing to add. Bare minimum. Should not be idolized. The way the others treat him should not just be brushed off as no big deal. It's ableism.

Basically it's just a bunch of classic mistakes that come from a neurotypical abled writer writing nd characters. Some mistakes are more damning then others. But it does make me scared for TWP.

I can only hope.