#this series has like two separate love triangles and both of them have One person survive

[skatiet]

ok so. lost shipping. this is mainly just going to focus on the quadrangle (jack, kate, sawyer, & juliet). the thing is, i don't hate a love triangle polygon. i think it can lead to interesting character dynamics. but lost somehow missed the entire point of a love polygon, which is choice.

i personally believe that a person can be in love with more than one person, at the same time or at different times, whether that's in a polyamorous way or in a "i'm monogamous, but i just haven't decided which of these people i want to be with" way. i’m going to ignore the polyamorous way for now, because in lost canon that's never mentioned as a possibility, so it's implied that all the characters are seeking monogamous romantic relationships.

so, it's pretty clearly shown to us that kate loves both jack and sawyer and that sawyer loves both kate and juliet, at some point throughout the series. (i've seen people disagree with this, but i'm taking the character's words and actions as they are presented, so if you disagree, i don't know what to tell you.) the writers lean very heavily into kate's "choice" specifically. the concept that she could simply be interested in/dating/whatever two people at once when she hasn't committed or promised anything to either one of them being seen a problem is an entire other rant's worth of nonsense, but if we just take it as the show presents it to us, she has to choose between jack and sawyer. the problem is, she is never actually given a choice. three seasons worth of build up is never paid off because... sawyer jumps out of the chopper. and in being separated from kate, he is never given a real choice either, because by the time he is in the position to make that choice, one of the "options" is gone.

now, one could argue that sawyer made the choice not to be with kate by jumping out of the chopper, or that kate made the choice not to be with sawyer by not following him, but neither one of them knew that those decisions would result in them being separated for three years. so yes, kate ends up with jack because sawyer is no longer an option, and we never get to see what her decision-making process would've looked like had they both been there long enough for her to make that choice. and sawyer ends up with juliet in the same way. we never get to see what he would've done had kate still been around as he was falling more in love with juliet.

the entire interesting part of this entire situation was taken away because the choice was made for them by their circumstances. the show leans into the idea that whatever happens would always have happened, and the universe "course corrects," so maybe these pairings always would've happened, but the fact that we don't get to see a reason why they happen other than "the other person i was considering is now completely inaccessible to me" is so incredibly anticlimactic and disappointing. not to mention (and perhaps this is possibly partly a result of the strike shortening season 4), we barely get to see the actual relationships play out. we have 3 seasons of jack and kate's dynamic to work with, at least, but sawyer and juliet literally get "so we started to get along, then we were in love, the end." there is such little payoff.

and maybe that's part of why people in the lost fandom still to this day get incredibly defensive about their favorite pairings, because they as fans have created more of those couples’ stories than the writers of the show did. so, there are plenty of reasons people like different combinations of these four characters together, whether it's "these two have the most interesting bond to me," "these two are the characters i like the most as individuals so i want to see them together," "i like the chemistry between the actors who play these two the most," "these two are the hottest to me," or any number of other things. but it's never because we see a character make a fully-informed free choice.

and this isn't the only case of the writers doing this. we see potential relationships between jack and ana lucia, as well as sawyer and ana lucia, but she dies before either of them can ever fully decide if that's something they want to pursue. shannon dies before sayid is ever faced with a decision between her and nadia. and of course, juliet and jack die before any potential further quadrangle situations could be explored (not that they would've, given that sawyer and juliet are in a committed, presumably monogamous relationship at that point, but by the point of the finale, there's no room for the possibility at all.)

and again, this is another rant all on it's own, but we end this show, which was called time and time again an ensemble show, with an afterlife that is completely from jack's point of view. we see every character paired up with the person that jack saw them with during his lifetime, with no regard for other potential important relationships in their lives. and i get it, obviously. it would make no sense for the characters who lived beyond the finale to suddenly have other significant others, or to have more established relationships with each other, when we never see any of that play out. but it just feels reductive to only see them reunite in the circumstances that existed at the time of jack's death. but like i said, that's another issue altogether.

tl;dr the lost writers did a really bad job with their romantic relationships and everyone’s favorite ships are good and correct and we should all be nice to each other and love each other forever <3

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: Consort of Fire by Kit Rocha

4.25/5. Releases 11/28/2023.

Vibes: a complex love triangle, handmaiden/princess, arranged marriage, dragon heroes that fuck, and enemies to lovers with actual stakes.

Princess Sachielle is betrothed to the Dragon, a god feared for killing his previous consort a century prior. What the Dragon doesn't know is that she's been charged with killing him--and her own life is forfeit if she fails. He also doesn't know that Sachi's handmaiden and lover, Zanya, is much more than she seems. And neither Sachi nor Zanya expected their very different connections with the Dragon--or his determination to win both of them.

It's not easy to find FFM menage romances, and of course, it's therefore even harder to find good ones that don't treat the women as side dishes next to a hero entree. But this? This is really fucking good. And it's really good fantasy romance, at that. If the other dragon romance book (which I personally liked as well) was too light or tame for you--this uh... will not be that. This one is wild, and it is the beginning of a series--while this isn't exactly a cliffhanger, it doesn't end in a fully resolved manner, and I'm excited to see what comes next.

Quick Takes:

--Menage romances often favor one bond over the other; while I love them in general, I find many that do not... work. Here, it's pitched perfectly--and I suspect some of that has to do with the fact that we still have some story to tell, and development to watch unfold. Zanya and Sachi have a very established, loving, and passionate long-term relationship, and that is never in question in this book (despite the necessity of them keeping it a secret, initially). Sachi and Ash (of course the Dragon goes by Ash) have an immediate chemistry and physical attraction, which puts a real wrench in the "I'm here to kill him" thing. It only deepens into something more as they spend time together, with Zanya looking on--not quite un-jealous, but not really threatened either.

Zanya and Ash's interplay might have been my favorite, though. She is determined to keep Sachi safe no matter what, and she is vicious. Ash? Loves and relates to both of those things. The very literal sparring scenes between these two? So hot. And while I feel very sure about the dynamic between Sachi and Zanya and Sachi and Ash, these two still have a ways to go. Zanya is a hard character, with many emotional walls (and her reasons are super valid). Ash, on the other hand, is all heat--and while he's initially determined to make nice with Zanya because of his feelings for Sachi, over the course of the book you feel him become more interested in her, and excited to get to know her better and be with her for the long term. Zanya? Still needs some convincing. I am pumped to see how he wins her over.

--The way sexuality is handled in this book is so casual, and I fucking love that. Really, the main obstacle to Sachi and Zanya being together in public is related to class and Sachi's duty to marry Ash. The gods they meet are pretty much universally bisexual, and Ash's previous consort was a prince, not a princess, which doesn't seem unusual or remarked upon.

--I think it would be very easy for Ash to come off as a "just happy to be there" guy, because Zanya and Sachi have such a strong love, and such an established relationship. But he's really so lovable, so patient with both of them (well, Sachi has to be more patient in their case--he's very worried about hurting her) and so charmingly teasing. Like, he's a protective dangerous dragon guy (and to be clear: for most of the book, Ash is totally this big hot man dude, he shifts separately into a dragon form) but he's also just? A good guy?

--I loved the world of the gods and their mythology. It's fun, it's hedonistic, I identified several cool characters I'd love to see find love in their own books, and it feels like they're both... above humanity and sweetly emotional. It's a hard balance to strike, but I think they got it in this one. (Fun fact: Kit Rocha is a pen name for two friends.)

--In terms of "how fantasy is this and how romance is this" it's a romance novel, despite the fact that it doesn't end on a totally resolved note (I trust that will come in the future). But the fantasy is strong without being too hard to follow. I feel like fantasy purists who are Very Vocal On Twitter may complain about the level of fantasy in this but like. The world was very much solid enough for me. I got it. It was the right balance for me, as a romance reader, and I refuse to accept romantasy as a thing unless it defines itself better, because it feels like fantasy romance is all I really need to know about.

The Sex:

Um, one of the hottest books I've read in a while. It takes a bit before you get to the first sex scene, but once it gets going it's going. Most of the sex scenes involve all three parties in one way or the other. Sachi is absolutely a brat with both of her partners, and frankly, we love to see it.

One thing I really loved was the evolution of Zanya's role in the sexual aspect of the relationship. We see that she and Sachi have very defined roles in bed, they know each others' bodies so well. Ash is respectful of that, as he is respectful in general--and he's willing to learn from both Sachi and Zanya (and I get the impression that while both of them are clearly bi, neither has much or any experience with men due to their longstanding, presumably monogamous involvement with each other). He's such a great example of writing a romance hero who's like... an animal where it counts, but so respectful of consent and so willing to be taught. So, as time passes, you see Zanya's more dominant side come out with Ash as well, and the way in which she begins to shift her focus from just Sachi to Sachi and Ash. Which of course, very much aligns with the fact that she's catching feelings. Oops!

I can't give away too much, but--there is one sex scene towards the end of the book that is just. Beyond.

Like I said, it's kind of hard to find FFM, and I jumped on this book because I was so excited to see that--and of course, I want to read more fantasy romance. I'm really happy with where it's going, and I look forward to the next book.

Thanks to Montlake and Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[rolorules]

Random Rolo Ramblings 6: Kururugi and Canon

My intention was to write a few lines about the relationship between Rolo and Suzaku and post them around Suzaku's birthday. Well, it did not happen quite like that, but here they are. Admittedly, there is not really much to write about as far as the series canon goes, and here I would already like to digress a little: By '(series) canon' I mean everything that is officially part of the Code Geass story (people, places, events) as it unfolds in the TV series, not the recap films, which divert from the series canon and partly tell a different story. You can consider them a form of Code Geass elseworld or parallel universe/alternate timeline (apparently Genesic Re;CODE did that) or just see them as a separate movie canon which includes Lelouch of the Resurrection. (Correct, 'canon' is the second main topic of this article.)

As far as the Geass series canon goes, it certainly includes R1, R2 and also Akito the Exiled. I would also add the picture dramas, but that is a matter of debate and one could argue that their canonicity is not on the same level as that of the series' episodes. There are also the drama CDs, but, like I wrote before, these are just too far out there to be part of the official story. There may be official books that Sunrise considers canon, but my personal philosophy is that when we talk about films or TV shows, only what's on the screen is canon.

So what about Suzaku and Rolo? If we follow the show's internal chronology, they first meet in the final scene of Akito the Exiled. We get two reaction shots of Suzaku's face, first when Rolo enters the room, accompanied by the two Geass Order guards, then after he tells him that Charles has 'granted' 'Julius Kingsley' another audience. (By the way, look how tall he is in comparison to Suzaku. Must be the boots.) In both cases, Suzaku looks both quite angry and extremely wary. In the first case, Suzaku even makes a hard-to-define moaning sound that sounds both apprehensive and annoyed. In other words, he does not seem happy to see Rolo at all. He might be uncertain at first whether the rescue party are friend or foe, but even after Rolo has made it clear that they are on his side, he looks as happy as an employee who hates his boss and is told that he can go back to work now. This may have nothing to do with Rolo as a person, but with the unpleasantries that await Suzaku and Lelouch, but to me this look also says "Who's that creep they've sent to pick us up?"

Luckily, there are no hard feelings between Suzaku and Rolo in R2 despite this encounter, and this is obviously because R2 was produced before Akito. There is only one conversation between Suzaku and Rolo (and Villetta) in the OSI's secret control room, (which I have covered before, more than once, actually). While Rolo and Villetta have more or less always treated each other as equals, Suzaku clearly acts as the one in charge. Everyone is very polite, but Suzaku seems to be doubtful about the effectiveness of their surveillance, which triggers a response from Roll that makes him appear a little offendes, but secretly he is certainly worried that Suzaku might find out that Lelouch has regained his memories (and that he has changed sides). In a different world, to Star Trek, they may be friends, at least they don't hate each other, but in this situation, Rolo mostly regards Suzaku as a threat, which is why he even offers Lelouch to kill him. When Suzaku arranges a phone call with Nunnally to figure out whether Lelouch has regained his memory, Rolo thwarts his plans with his time-stopping powers. Apart from that, we see him giving Suzaku wary sideways glances, and that, to my knowledge, is about it. Not much, given the fact that older official artwork often shows Lelouch, Suzaku and Rolo as a kind of love-hate-whatever triangle.

What I would really like to know is what happened between the trio's journey home from Euro Britannia and Rolo's/Suzaku's arrival at Ashford. Didn't they have any conversation about 'Julius' resp. Lelouch? It would have made sense for Suzaku to brief Rolo about Lelouch's character traits so that he knows how to handle him and how to play the role of the little brother convincingly. Moreover, the Vincent's design is based on the Lancelot's, would Suzaku not be the perfect tutor for Rolo as a Knightmare Frame pilot? That would also explain Rolo's piloting skills. (Wouldn't it be fun if Lloyd was also involved? Maybe Rolo had a reason to call him "pervy four-eyes" in that infamous sound episode.)

Of couse there is that slightly weird scene in the second recap movie where Bismarck introduces Suzaku to Rolo (who is dressed like an accountant and looks as if he hadn't had any sleep for a week and not seen any daylight for a month, quite the contrast to his Akito outfit and posture) and Villetta. Here it is made more obvious than in R2 that Suzaku is in charge of the operation. In this scene it is also acknowledged that Suzaku and Rolo have met before, and maybe Suzaku's bad memories are the in-story explanation for Suzaku's so bluntly (and rudely) addressing Rolo's faulty Geass, which is one of the things I hated about this scene, the other one being Rolo's new alias ('Nebiros'/'Neblos'). Rolo's resentful look is more than understandable. I know why the writers made Suzaku say that: they needed a quick way to establish Rolo's weakness, but it still seems so out of character for someone like Suzaku. (I like Suzaku thanking Rolo for rescuing them better, even though he did not look particularly grateful when Rolo freed him and Lelouch from prison.) Villetta's defending Rolo and praising his skillfulness, on the other hand, is perfectly in character for her. Anyway, this scene does not contradict series canon, so I can potentially accept it as "this is what happened" to fill a gap in the story, I'm just not sure if I want to.

Which is why I am now turning to the readers. How do you personally deal with the canon problem, in Code Geass and otherwise? After all, reboots, recaps, remakes etc. are a pretty common phenomenon in the world of anime and elsewhere. Do you want to have a rigid canon or do you like to see alternate/new/fresh versions of the same story? What is your personal Code Geass canon, the two seasons of the TV show, Akito, the recap films, Lelouch of the Resurrection, the mobile games? Please let me know and thank you for reading all this, these articles are called "ramblings" for a reason.

P.S. Sorry for mostly using screencaps that I have used before.

[windwheeler-aster]

your bookworm 

summary: for as long as you’ve known your partner, they’ve shown a huge interest in reading. in an attempt to bond, as well as to expand your own knowledge, you suggest going book shopping together. delighted, they bring you to their favorite book store.

masterlist

pairings (separate): diluc, albedo, jean, zhongli, and lisa x reader

reader info: uses gender neutral pronouns (they/them), reader is in an established relationship, reader doesn’t read often/that much. and reader is not traveler

word count: 3,784 words

genre: Modern AU, romance, fluff

format: headcanons and blurbs

warnings: usage of death in exaggeration/common expression, coupley/lovey dovey dialogue, public displays of affection (PDA), zhongli worrying about money, and brief descriptions of buying/browsing erotica

a/n:  i’ve suggested no/little-lyric songs for background reading, to really stick to the theme. i hope you have a good time reading, folks💖(psst, if you like the songs linked here, i have a playlist on my spotify with similar music. it’s perfect for reading, studying, and writing. have a good day!!)

song recommendation: So This Is Love by Emile Pandolfi

diluc enjoys reading as a past time

he likes physical books better than their audio counterparts, mostly because he secretly enjoys the smell of a new book 

if there’s a novel/series that diluc really liked reading, he’ll go out of his way to buy the hardcover version of the book

also, all of his favorite books take up one section of his large shelf. he can be very selective with what he likes

he enjoys a mixture of non-fiction and fiction books. from his favorite celebrities’ memoirs to small collections of short poems or/and stories that have no deeper meaning

diluc says it’s only a hobby to make the time go by faster, but it has evolved into something much greater

like, if you two have nothing else to do that night, diluc will shyly ask if you want to read together before bed

it’s really just you laying on his shoulder/chest as he reads aloud one of his favorite books, slowly bringing both of you to sleep

so if you suggest to go book browsing/shopping for a date, diluc is so excited and happy 

he brings you to this big-name brand bookstore, mostly because they have all the newest best time sellers and a lot of his favorite authors

diluc doesn’t hold your hand, but holds the books you two are interested in and hovers by you instead

[more under the cut]

You knelt down to the floor, inspecting the books at the bottom shelf. One series stood out to you, admittedly because of the bright cover art. You grab one of the books, finding some difficulty pulling it out by its side. After some more effort, careful not to accidentally cut yourself on the fine paper, it was in your hands.

“That looks interesting,” Diluc murmured from above.

You stood. “Yeah, I’ve seen this book trending online recently.”

“Is it good?”

“Uh,” You flip the book over, trying to find an actual synopsis instead of the three word reviews, “I’ve heard good and bad things about it.”

Diluc grunted as an agreement. “From the cover, it looks like the main character is in a love triangle. Well, not a love triangle, but…y’know.”

“Yeah, it’s much different from other romances though,” You look on the inside sleeve for the synopsis. “At least, that’s what I’ve heard from some fans.”

The synopsis was basic, but gave you enough information to be interested. A boy has to choose between dating his best friend, a reliable and outgoing person, or the town’s local monster, an eight foot tall lizard person. Surprisingly, it is a very hard choice for this love struck boy. 

Diluc watched with a mixture of surprise and interest as you move on from the synopsis to the first chapter. He couldn’t help but notice the way your eyes shined and your lips quirked upwards as you read on. He looked around and saw one of the staff members busy helping a customer, their eyes glancing over to the two of you. 

Diluc would hate for you to get told off for just reading a little more into this book before buying it. He looked over to you and cleared his throat lightly, gaining your attention briefly. 

“My dear, if you’re really interested in it, you can always read it at home.”

“Oh, I am definitely buying this,” You say after closing the book. “The first page is enough to get me hooked.”

Diluc quirked his brows. “Is it really that interesting?”

“You’re going to have to read it to find out,” you handed the book to him with a smile. “We can read it together, if you’re really that curious. I know romance books aren’t really your favorite, but it might be fun.”

A smile slowly crept onto his soft lips. “I’d like that.”

“Great,” You looked around, making sure that no one was looking, and then kissed him. “Now, let’s get you some new books.”

Diluc’s free hand brushed against his own lips, a swooning expression on his face. Slowly, he nods after a moment passes.

“Right… right. I believe the memoirs are over here,” He breathes out, absentmindedly finding your hand with his own. “This way, dear.”

song recommendation: The Flower Garden by Joe Hisaishi

albedo is a fast reader, going through lengthy work documents at a pace that scares everyone nearby

however he doesn’t enjoy all the wordy research papers that wait on his desk

but you know what albedo does enjoy reading? fantasy!!!

he likes to get lost in books, especially when the worldbuilding is so much different from reality

albedo usually reads the long fantasy series. the ones that have an average of 800 pages per book, with 12 books in one series

however, due to the book’s length, albedo usually does a mix of listening to the audiobook version and reading his paper copy

it just works for him, okay? don’t judge him!!!

reading with albedo might not be the best idea, as he’s usually really far into a series or book and he’d hate to spoil it for you

but if you ask about albedo’s favorite character, he will certainty talk about them for hours 

he for sure has made fanart of some of his favs, but he mostly keeps them to himself

albedo will be so delighted if you ever suggest going book shopping with him! in fact, he’s already grabbing his to-read list and wallet

he would take you to a local bookstore, somewhere with a great reading atmosphere and affordable prices

albedo would have you trail around with him between the isles, elbows interlocked of course, whispering to you about the books he’s been dying to read

You leaned closer to Albedo, smirking as you tried to read over his shoulder. He was totally sucked into this book, carelessly flipping page after page as he loitered in the aisle. He didn’t even protest when you rested your chin on his shoulder. Albedo’s eyes only sparkled as he read on, making your heart flutter in the process. 

“Is it good?” you whispered, catching his attention finally, “you just seem to be really enjoying it, that’s all.”

“I really like it, actually. The author has a really refreshing writing style, and they’ve really caught my interest in just a few pages—” Albedo’s voice trailed off as he glanced to you. “Sorry, um, I just really like it so far. This book has been on my reading list for ages and…”

You placed the book onto Albedo’s stack, holding it very securely against your chest. “No, no, please, tell me more. I like it when you talk about your things you’re passionate about,” you shyly glance away from him, diverting your attention to the spines of some fantasy comic books. “It’s, um… it’s really cute, honestly.”

“The way you’re looking away is pretty cute too,”

“I’m not looking away!” you retort, crouching down to the comic books’ shelf, “I just got really interested in this comic book, that’s all.” 

Albedo crouched down with you, slowly looking away from your face and to the books. He watched you caress the book’s spine, moving your lips slightly and furrowing your brows. His lips twitched upwards when he saw you pull it out, intently reading the synopsis on the back.

“I’m pretty sure that’s called a graphic novel,” he whispered.

You hummed in response, too busy reading to give him a proper response. He frowned slightly and leaned over, now reading over your shoulder. 

The book’s art looked pretty, but Albedo’s jaw relaxed slightly as he read the synopsis too. This graphic novel told the story of the out casted sorceress, ignored and bullied since she first showed signs of magical powers. But after suffering alone for so long, the sorceress finally accepts her role as the “bad guy.” Everyone else has already, except for this annoyingly persistent witch who swears she sees the good in the sorceress. The witch is determined to make the sorceress realize this, going above and beyond to prove— Oh, you’ve already turned to the first page. Fun.

“This looks really good,” he whispered, his breath tickling the shell of your ear. 

You opened up to the first page, idly stroking the page with one finger as you marveled over the art. “Right? It’s so… so beautiful, I think I could stare at this all day.”

 “I distinctly remember you saying something similar to me the other day,” he snickered. “Don’t tell me that I’ve already been replaced by a book.”

You turned away from the book and gave a quick peck to his left cheek, laughing into his porcelain skin. “First of all, it’s a beautiful book,” you leaned further over and kissed his lips, “and second, I’d never replace you, dear. Nothing and no one in this world could ever replace you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really,” you chuckle, pulling both him and yourself up off the floor, “now let’s get the rest of your books before we get yelled at for reading in a bookstore.”

“Aw, really? I was just losing the feeling in my knees and legs,” he groaned as he stood up fully, “now I gotta wake ‘em up again.”

“I love you,” you breathed out, intertwining your elbow with his, “but if we keep using this bookstore as our own library, I don’t think we’ll be allowed back.”

He smiled. “I know. And… I love you, too, by the way.”

“Good. Now, you said something about a book of short stories complied together... something we both could read?”

“Right, right, I believe we passed it in the horror section,” he turned the two of you around, carefully guiding you to follow him, “come on, dear, this way!”

song recommendation: Menuet by Toshifumi Hinata

despite reading work papers at lightening speed, jean is a pretty slow reader

she just really likes taking her time reading books, savouring each chapter that she finishes... don't judge her please

secretly a big fan of romance & mystery, both as separate genres and when they’re put together

jean reads more stand alone novels than series, honestly

it’s only because she likes seeing her favorite characters get their happy ending and character arc in only one book it’s also because she has little to no patience to read a series longer than 3 books

jean doesn’t really like audiobooks. there’s no really big reason why... she just doesn’t like them

but jean wears earbuds whenever she reads at home. it’s easier for her to concentrate with background noise she can control

her music is at a low volume though, so she’ll hear you if you need anything

if you ever offer to read aloud for her when she’s really tired, jean just absolutely melts

congratulations, you now have a very lovesick jean who would do anything for you while you read to her

jean will blush pretty hard if you make eye contact with her while reading some lovey dovey dialogue

if you ever suggest going book shopping with jean, she’ll be incredibly happy

she would take you to local bookstore with a great cafe nearby, ordering you two something to drink while you shopped together

Wordlessly, Jean handed over your to-go cup. She smiled once her eyes met your own, letting a quiet chuckle escape. In one swift action, Jean intertwines her fingers into your own. 

“Thank you so much for coming with me,” she murmurs, leading you further into the quaint bookshop. “I know that with our busy schedules it can make it quite difficult but… But I really do appreciate it.”

You took a sip of your drink, smiling into the cup’s opening. “No problem, sweet heart. Afterall, I’ve been dying to see the more bookish and nerdy side of you.”

“Oh, stop it you—” she said, her voice trailing off as Jean spots something interesting. “Oh, actually, hold onto that thought, honey.”

Jean drifted away from you, stopping in front of a table of best-selling romance books. Her fingers trailed over each cover, even if it was the elven couple or cyberpunk lovers. Jean gave each one a bored look, barely turning the books around to read the synopsis. Finally, you saw something that caught Jean’s eye.

You watched her reach down to a monochrome book, the two romantic leads posing suggestively on the cover. She inspected it for a moment, tilting her head and letting her ponytail fall onto her shoulder.

"Oh, she's pretty," you murmur, "not as pretty as you, though, sweetheart."

Jean tsked. “Oh, stop it you. You’re going to make me blush if you keep it up.”

“Isn’t that the point?”

She looked away from the cover, a light blush finding its way to her cheeks. Jean leaned into your side as she did so, trying her best to keep her adorable laughter to a low volume. You glanced around and saw some other customers and a staff member give her a curious look, which made you put a protective hand around her waist. Slowly pulling your eyes away from them, you looked back at your girlfriend with adoration. 

“What’s the book about?” you asked, taking a sip from your drink. “It looks really interesting.”

“I think it’s about this…” Jean flips the book over, squinting slightly to read the synopsis, “this time traveling and reincarnated couple? Like, every few years they find each other but then they lose each other. It’s their thirteenth time meeting each other now, and… and they’ve finally found a clue to why this keeps happening,” she pauses for a moment, exhaling heavily. “Pretty interesting, right?”

“This looks so good, oh my goodness,” you say, peering at the same synopsis she was looking at. “Sweetie, we have to get this.”

“Really? You… you don’t think it’s a little too much or…” Jean trailed off, eyeing the price tag.

“If we buy it, we can read it as many times as we want,” you reminded her, tracing a light circle into her waist.

Jean sucked on her bottom lip, freeing it once she made her decision. “Alright, as long as we get to read it together.” 

song recommendation: (forever?????????) by glass beach

whenever he can, zhongli reads

whether that be in between rides to and from work, while waiting for clients, or when he’s alone with some free time

he’s a big fan of angsty and deep stories, something with a huge twist at the end

zhongli reads an unhealthy amount of angst

his favorite tropes are probably one-sided love, something about that makes him feel so much

also when one of them dies, or both of them

zhongli doesn’t really cry whenever he reads, he mostly just sighs in sympathy for what the characters are going through

he doesn’t understand audio books really well, and it’s odd to hear someone who talks like him read it back

so he would much rather just read it on his own, thank you

although...zhongli is a sucker for you. so if you ever ask for him to read to you, it’s an almost always guaranteed

he genuinely smiles when he notices that he’s put you to sleep, pressing a sweet kiss onto your forehead

so, imagine the smile on zhongli’s face when you show him this bookstore you found

and when your offer to pay for them? there are literal hearts in his eyes as he guides you around

Zhongli handed you another book while his eyes scanned the spines of each book on this shelf. Before accepting the book, you stare at him for a moment. You quietly admire the way his brows furrow slightly, how his amber eyes narrowed as he read book titles. The way his gloved hands skimmed each book made you envious of the books. 

Eventually, you accepted the book and placed it on top of the others. Once you adjusted yourself, balancing the six books in your arms flawlessly, you looked back down to your lover. 

“You seem to be picking a lot of science fiction books today,” you commented, raising yourself on the ball of your heels, “that’s a little out of the ordinary for you, isn’t it?”

He hummed, pulling out another book. This one was slimmer than the others, with a blue flower encased in ice on the cover. Another soon to be Young Adult classic, you thought. 

“I think I picked out a few horrors too,” Zhongli responded. “I’m going to try and branch out in other genres.”

You tilted your head back up when he began to rise from the ground. “Y’know it’s nice to read some uplifting and happy stuff too, right?”

He shook his head, chuckling. “To you, perhaps, but I find satisfaction in even the saddest of—” Zhongli stopped himself from placing the book onto your pile, slowly sucking in a breath as he eyed it. “Oh, dear. I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think to limit myself—”

“It’s fine, Zhongli,” you assure him, adjusting your hands’ placement on the books, “really, I don’t mind.” 

“Dear, we can leave a few of these behind. Really, I don’t mind at all. I don’t want to empty your wallet over me—”

“Please don’t worry about it,” you say, “I like doing these types of things for you. It makes me happy to see you happy, darling.”

Zhongli hesitated for a moment. He looked at the books in your arms again, guilt weighing him down. He didn’t even look at the price tags, this outing was sure to put a dent into your savings. But then Zhongli looked at your eyes and those worries disappeared.

“I love you so much,” he breathed out suddenly.

You smiled at him. “Well, I love you too. Now, you want to go shopping some more or call it a day?”

“We can stop here,”

“You’re sure?” 

Zhongli inched closer to you and gave you a simple kiss on the cheek, not caring if someone spotted you two. “Positive.”

song recommendation: By Your Side. by Omori

lisa is a literally a librarian. she reads day and night, as though her life depends on it

you’d think she would be sick of reading, but lisa usually finds something interesting to pass the time

if you ask lisa, you’ll discover that’s she tediously working her way through all of the library books. yes, she is slowly going insane at the process

doesn’t listen to audio books because she doesn’t want her life to be totally overtaken with books

lisa for sure is a booktuber. no doubts about it.

she has a decent subscribers to viewers ratio, but lisa doesn’t care too much about the income it brings

it really is just a youtube channel where she can be passionate about some of her favorite authors and series

you have accidently become a beloved member of the channel, with hundreds of comments gushing about you

lisa makes sure to read each one to you, ignoring any of the odd hate comments of course

also exclusively reads books from the library, rarely ever buying books

until you suggest going to this quaint local secondhand bookstore, promising to treat her to any of the books she wanted

before you could say another word, lisa is excitedly asking you for the bookstore’s address and stuffing things into a spare tote bag

You and Lisa snuck through the aisle, despite the store being advertised as filming friendly. You lowered her go pro as you passed other customers, getting some filler footage of your shoes and the hem of Lisa’s skirt. Once you had successfully dodged them, offering them a polite “good afternoon” before walking onwards,you turned on the go pro.

“You wanna get some filler footage first?” you asked, eyeing the books to your right. “Something you can speak over when you edit?”

“Actually,” Lisa said, inching closer to you, “I’d really like to just spend some one on one time with you. Without the cameras.”

“Oh, yeah, I’d really like that too,” you stammer, quickly shutting off the go pro.

She giggled, placing the go pro into her bag. “You know, you’re pretty cute when you get flustered.”

“Lisa, I swear,” you trail off, trying your best to ignore the growing heat in your cheeks. “So, you said on the way here you wanted to find some… trashy erotica?”

“Oh my god, thank you so much for reminding me,” She grasped onto your wrist, pulling you along as she tried to navigate through the aisles. “I feel like we passed that aisle— Oh! Right there!”

Before you knew it, Lisa had pulled you into the aisle. Some of the books on the shelves had simple cover art, nothing really risque. But then they were placed right next to the extremely suggestive titles, with somehow even more suggestive covers. As Lisa fawned over each book, pulling you along eagerly, you suddenly found the floor to be much more interesting.

“Hm, it seems the owner put their donated romance books here too,” She murmured, gently pulling you over to another side of the shelf. “Oh, dear! Look at this, I think you’d really like it!”

Carefully, you peeled your eyes away from the floor and looked at Lisa. Then your eyes drifted away from her mischievous ones, finally settling on the book she held in her hand.

It was actually a pretty cute book. The cover art was bright and colorful, depicting two people working hard in a kitchen. You felt a smile grace your lips as you opened the book up, reading the small message scribbled into the book’s first pages. Then you turned to the first chapter, a little eager for a taste of what this book had in store.

“You’re not even going to read the synopsis?”  

You looked up from the book. “Wait, am I supposed to?”

“No, no, it’s alright,” Lisa reassured. “I was just so surprised that you started reading it immediately.”

“Well, of course!” You beamed. “You suggested it, and I just assumed that with all your reading history… you really did know what you were talking about.”

She smiled at you, her eyes crinkling at the very edges. She grabbed the edge of the book you held, lowering it away from your face. Lisa gave you a gentle kiss, smiling into it as your cheeks burned. When she pulled away, Lisa had the cockiest grin equipped. 

“You have no idea how much it means to hear that from you, my love,” she whispered. “Now, let’s go head over to the horror section before I just start sounding like a love interest in one of these books.”

thank you for reading 💖 all forms of interaction to my posts are appreciated 💖

[bbnibini]

apothecary diaries anon again! sorry for replying late, the past few days were busy. 😭

I ENCOURAGE READING THE MANGA, THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT EXPRESSIONS!! it's also great with mood whiplash scenes; one moment i can be fawning over how pretty the art is, the next i'm staring in awed silence at the dark parts of the story. like, the scene where maomao is at lihua/rifa's palace is AMAZING. (i totally get what you mean with manga too! i don't buy manga as much any more because digital tends to have better quality and is easier for me to read. plus, there's something about having a novel in my hands that doesn't compare to holding manga, if that makes sense?)

no problem; i'm glad to share the good news about the LN! i usually buy just the paperback and read that in bed because 1. comfy cosy vibes, and 2. easier on my eyes. (i also don't think it's weird; i've bought multiple copies of games over the years because i enjoy having access to it on different consoles (and enjoy modding them, in case of games on pc.))

agreed! the love triangle / having two people compete over a third person dynamic in isekai is just… awkward. especially in some manga/manhwa where it's obvious who the main couple is? it makes all the interactions so forced and usually leaves me either annoyed with the plot or the characters themselves (and not in the way the author probably intended). ngl, i am a lover of morally ambiguous male characters, but it's so weird how people condemn female characters for being rude, but the dudes all get 'oh, but he has ✨reasons✨' or grasp at straws to justify it. even when the women also have reasons or backstories to explain why they do what they do?

i also get annoyed when i see the female lead get bashed in comments for not being 'strong enough' when usually the FL has either been abused, traumatised, or just?? cries because they've been through so much??? it's like the FL can only be praised if they're going through their struggles the 'right' way, and emotions aren't allowed. like, no! give me all the characters and their responses; give me the characters who repress their feelings AND the characters who wear their hearts on their sleeves!

let women support women! 👏👏👏

unrelated to the above, i started ascendance of a bookworm! i was at chapter 13 and crying from lutz and myne's friendship + wanting otto's love and citizenship in a side story. then i read further and started crying for an entirely different reason and OW MY SOUL. currently up to chapter 26, i'm both proud of my kids and just want to hug them. (also, i love how they deal with myne having a weak body; i have issues with my own body, and it's nice to see it taken seriously and also not instantly cured via plot magic.)

hope sleep and work has been better for you!

Aaaaa sorry if this got buried in my notifs! I only saw this now after logging in to tumblr desktop!! YOU GET ME FR- 🤝I think it also has to do with its formatting?? Collecting manhwa is okay for me for certain series, but reading manga backwards is just really awkward. I can't get used to its physical formatting. Using the panels as reference for practicing art had been my goal buying manga and manhwa but I really just don't enjoy the drawing process. ;;v;; I think it also has to do with that lol. I love art but I get giddier and enjoy reading pretty words better!! I love reading in bed too but my optometrist scolded me for doing that cause it made my eyes really bad xD. I do still read in bed but not as much anymore cause of that ssh don't tell her /s

Right?? It's just so sad misogyny is still blatant in fiction. It's already happening irl and you can't even use fiction as escapism cause it's there too. :'( I like it when series write good characters. Ultimately for me, that's what how you can tell a writing is good; if they can separate that. That's why I love Apothecary Diaries; you fall in love with Maomao as a person. She's a great character who just happens to be a girl. You love her for who she is, and not because she's a woman, or the narrative tells you a bajillion times she is a "badass female protagonist so you should love her!!!" (which she is ofc but that's not the entirety of Maomao's personality. She's more than that!! And I love her for more than just that.) JgdghgjI I just love female friendships so much. I wish we have more in shoujo and series in general. I want platonic female friendships; sapphic relationships, all of them. I love women. Funny you mentioned that cause I wish people would stop seeing femininity as a weakness cause it's not!! It's really ironic seeing people say a female character is "strong" because she's physically strong and have masculine traits, but have no substance or character development beyond that. To strengthen my point above, a female character is a great character because she was a great character to begin with and does not depend on harmful stereotypes just so they can be written lazily as "female" (I hope I'm making sense).

I'm so happy you liked it! Bookworm is so well-written and incredibly detailed in worldbuilding, lore and character development it's almost intimidating! I love its realistic portrayal of human relationships and disability; of found family and loneliness. Its focus on the world and the people around it makes the characters a lot more...believable(?) Like you can feel that they have lives outside of their interactions with Myne. Myne is just a heartbeat of a human life trying to survive in the unfair caste system she is born in. assidfsf. Fr I feel like I'm Myne's parent; seeing her grow, seeing her achieve her dreams and be happy and live like a normal girl makes me cry. I really recommend reading the LN of part 2 especially the last volume. I bawled like a baby in one of the scenes. Her family is just so wholesome. ;;v;; Sorry for rambling. I love this series so much and I've been trying to hold back reading my backlog cause I know I would finish it in just a few days.

[ancestorsofjudah]

2 Kings 23: 12-14. "Signs of the Age."

Separation of Church and State which are legally required for all recognizable governments is also essential to the health of the individual soul. Though we benefit from involvement in both, the Melachim say we must at some point become completely separate and commune directly with Ha Shem.

Even the agents of the church and state, Kings and Princes, Czars and Czarens, the Queens, Princesses, and all the Tuna Tartines*, these too must all eventually retire within the private walls of their own cities and fathom the universe according to their own means.

Once one provides the mind with all it needs to grow up and acquire the Self, one closes the entrances to the rhetoric of the church, government and even academia and one becomes one's own master.

The following section continues to deconstruct the path the many chapters of the Melachim excavated for us startting with the Altars.

Altars separate what is noble from what is ignoble within oneself. To recognize the authority of what resides on the North side of the Altar vs. the South and then tear it down as if there were no distinction is a sign the heart is accepting its human conditions.

Cruel and corrupt persons will always stand before the Altar of the Christ and beg for mercy. A real man does not need mercy, he gives it. The text mentions altars that were made by the Kings of Judah near the upper room which we know is the conscience, which is what makes us sentient, which was located on the roof.

The roof called gog, is also called a map of the universe, a place of universal communication and the heart of civics. There cannot be a series of altars where Kings of Judah gather to repent or lament the shortcomings of society. There must not be a need for such things.

Have you seen that graham cracker crust Anthony Binken going to the roof altar every day? Do you see Joe Biden, and Benjamin Netanyahu heading to the roof to explain the difference between mercy and cruelty in this world? How about the US Secretary of Defense...are we in the business of showing mercy or does the idea scare us to death?

The altars have to come down, there must be a direct confrontation between what is cruel and what is good, and that is that.

Josiah "the end of the fire of despair" demonstrates:

12 He pulled down the altars the kings of Judah had erected on the roof near the upper room of Ahaz, and the altars Manasseh had built in the two courts of the temple of the Lord. He removed them from there, smashed them to pieces and threw the rubble into the Kidron Valley. 

13 The king also desecrated the high places that were east of Jerusalem on the south of the Hill of Corruption—the ones Solomon king of Israel had built for Ashtoreth the vile goddess of the Sidonians, for Chemosh the vile god of Moab, and for Molek the detestable god of the people of Ammon. 

14 Josiah smashed the sacred stones and cut down the Asherah poles and covered the sites with human bones.

Ahaz means to grasp, Kidron means "place of filth." One can grasp another man's banana, or one can grasp why an isoceles triangle is a three-sided figure, but so long as one does not grasp what is ethical and unethical "the two courts" one is reveling in the potential for filth.

Should there be a struggle in the church or state or culture as to what is ethical or unethical, we build what is called the Hill of Corruption. The HOC exists in the East of Jerusalem on the South side, meaning it is as far from an enlightenment as one can get in spite of the fact it sits there plain as day.

Solomon known for his brilliant philosophical gynmastics did not master the people quite like we wish he had. He worshipped Astarte of Sidon, the national goddess of love and war who was prone to being kind and also very unkind. Sidon means "the fishery". Government officials can't be like schools of fish. They can't be fickle. selfish, opinionated, or bigoted.

The verb צוד (sud) means to hunt or fish, or more general: to get meat rather than veggies, and by working for it in the wild rather than purchasing it at a store. This verb obviously has a very strong cognitive connotation in the Bible, which would concern an active pursuit of problems and their solutions, rather than learning from whatever happens (veggies) or absorbing other people's theories at some school (food store).

Noun ציד (sayid) means a hunting or game. Noun ציד (sayyad) means hunter. Noun מצד (mesad) means fastness or stronghold (a typically defensive structure).

Noun מצוד (masod) may mean siege works or hunting implement (like a net). Likewise, the nouns מצודה (mesoda) and מצודה (mesuda) mean net, fastness or stronghold.

Both nouns ציד (sayid) and צידה (seda) mean provisions or food. The denominative verb ציד (sid) means to supply oneself with food.

Solomon also built monuments to Chemosh, "moves how he feels" the god of Moab, "who's your daddy?" AKA "the traditionalists" and to Molek of Ammon, "the king of popularity."

The verb עמם ('mm) probably expressed to be inclusive or comprehensive. Its rare uses in the Bible relate to making secrets or making info available to an in-crowd.

Preposition עם ('im) means 'with', מעם (me'im) means 'from', and עמה ('umma) means 'beside'. Noun עם ('am) means a people, ranging from all of mankind to the in-crowd of a small village. Noun עם ('am) refers to one's (paternal) kinsman.

Solomon like David basqued in his popularity at the expense of ruling properly. He wildly overspent and did not levy appropriate taxes, and this apparently caused the kingdom to go bankrupt. Then his poor son Rehoboam had to crack the asses of the people open to raise revenue and that just made things worse.

Josiah dispelled all the myths about these things, then he smashed the Ephod and tore down the Asherah, "the natural law that leads to technology, peace and progress" and replaced all of these human bones with Chochmah, AKA "the intelligent witness." So it's all not as horrible as it sounds.

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 12 the Value in Gematria is 9693, טו‎טג, tutag, "a sign of the age..."

v. 13 the Value in Gematria is 8524, ח‎הגאֶפֶס, hegapes, "hopped up"

v. 14 the Value in Gematria is 6312 ו‎גאב‎, and gab, "and back."

It is time for the People of Israel to call themselves by name, own their territory and move on to other things. Until this is done, there will always be legends, myths, fantasies and figments as to the nature and full power of the Spirit of God to be our one true shepherd.

About this, the Sages have written:

Mashiach shall restore the Bet Hamikdash in Jerusalem.1 This refers to the third Bet Hamikdash that will stand forever, in fulfillment of the Divine prophecy of Ezekiel 37:26-28: “I shall give My Sanctuary in their midst forever. My dwelling-place shall be over them… The nations shall know that I am G‑d who sanctifies Israel, when My Sanctuary shall be in the midst of them forever.”2

B. Ingathering of the Exiles of Israel

Through Mashiach shall be effected the ingathering of all the exiles of Israel:3

Deuteronomy 30:3-4: “G‑d, your G‑d, shall bring back your captivity… and He will return and gather you from all the nations whither G‑d, your G‑d, has scattered you. If your banished shall be at the utmost end of the heavens, G‑d, your G‑d, shall gather you from there, and He shall take you from there.”

Isaiah 11:11-12,16: “It shall be on that day that G‑d shall again set His hand for a second time to acquire the remnant of His people that shall remain from Assyria and from Egypt, from Pathros and from Cush and from Elam, from Shinar and from Chamat and from the islands of the sea…

There shall be a highway for the remnant of His people that shall remain from Assyria, as there was for Israel on the day they went up from the land of Egypt.”

Isaiah 43:5-6: “Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your seed from the east and gather you from the west. I shall say to the north, ‘Give up,’ and to the south, ‘Do not hold back, bring My sons from far and My daughters from the end of the earth.’ ”

Amos 9:14-15: “I shall return the captivity of My people Israel and they shall build the waste cities and settle… I shall plant them upon their land, and they shall no more be plucked out of their land that I have given them, says G‑d, your G‑d.”

Jeremiah 23:7-8: “Therefore behold, days shall come, says G‑d, that they shall no longer say, ‘As G‑d lives who has taken up the children of Israel from the land of Egypt;’ but ‘As G‑d lives who has taken up and brought the seed of the House of Israel from the north country and from all the countries where He had banished them,’ and they shall dwell in their land.”

Ezekiel 39:25, 27-29: “…Now I shall bring back the captivity of Jacob and I shall have compassion on the whole House of Israel, and I shall be zealous for My holy Name… When I shall have returned them from the nations and gathered them from the lands of their enemies…

They shall know that I am G‑d, their G‑d, in that I exiled them to the nations and gathered them unto their land, and I will not leave any one of them there. I will no more hide My face from them, as I will pour out My spirit upon the House of Israel…”

I want them out. Get the Mormons and Evangelicals, all the scum scoundrels and non-native squatters, all the troublemakers and throw them out. If they won't leave, kill them.

It is time to ransom back the Name and House of the God of Israel from its captors as God promised would happen since time began. Wherever the people called Israel can be found, this must finally be done.

This current state of affairs in Israel is patterning the world. All must be well, all must be treated well, all must know the Grace of God and the humanity of man from the moment of birth to the moment beyond. This blasphemy we live with, it must not prevail.

We are putting Israel back together, we are going to lead the world past this post-apocalyptic time and woe to those choose to get in the way.

*A tuna tartine is an open-faced tuna sandwich.

[purplefangirl42]

Say the Words (Part 4)

Series Summary: Mina wasn't sure what she was getting into when she agreed to marry  Acastus Kolya. What started out as duty changed to true feelings, but  does her husband feel the same? It's hard to tell when you are married  to a man filled with so much hate.

Pairing: Commander Acastus Kolya/OC (Mina Kolya)

Parts: Series Masterlist ~ PREVIOUS ~ NEXT ~

Part 4 Summary: After some time has passed, Mina begins to have doubts about her decision to marry Kolya.

Warnings/Tags: Arranged Marriage, Loneliness, Talk of Having a Family, Explosions, Minor Injuries, Love Triangle(?)

Over the next two months, Mina slowly settled into her new life. She had made a few personal touches to her new home, making it look like someone actually lived there. Judging by her husband's sense of being out of place at home, she assumed he had not spent much time there before her arrival. Being a military man, she figured that he spent most of his time below ground in the bunkers with most of the other military families. In their two months together so far, she hadn't been able to get much out of him about his personal life. She knew that he had grown up in this house, but once his parents had passed, and he made serving the Cowen and his predecessor his priority, he had no use for his surface home. He had told her hesitantly that marriage had never been high up on his list of priorities. When she had expressed to him that it hadn't been a plan of hers either, he seemed to relax but still remained distant.

Most of the time, he was below ground, training others or attending to other matters assigned to him. Her time was spent on the surface, working on the farms with her sister and the other farmer families. Every night, the two of them returned home, she prepared dinner, which they usually ate without much conversation, and retired to their respective bedrooms. This was not at all what she had expected married life to be, but then again, their marriage was not one born of an actual relationship. This was strictly business for both parties. That was what she continued to tell herself every morning and night as they went their separate ways.

Some days while working in the fields, she would watch the young married couples around her that genuinely cared for each other. They seemed to be happy, and their lives together had some meaning. A few times, she had noticed Thali looking at her with pity when she noticed Mina's observant behavior. Mina wouldn't go so far as to say that she felt jealous of these other couples, but she definitely felt something. She felt empty, like something was missing. She hadn't felt this way before marrying Acastus, but now that she was married, it seemed that something inside her had changed. She wanted to be happy, to feel loved and wanted, and wanted to feel married. S

he kept these feelings to herself, not even expressing them to Thali. It was bad enough getting her looks of pity when she didn't have any concrete proof that something was wrong. If she knew that something was going on inside her, Mina knew that Thali would only increase the frequency of the looks. It wasn't just her either. Mina had noticed several other people, including her brother, giving her looks of pity since her marriage had begun. She didn't feel that her exterior behavior had changed in any way, but deep down, she knew that they could all see a change in her. Today, she had dodged many looks as she moved about the field. It was getting to be almost unbearable. She stopped her work and turned to her sister.

“Is it that obvious?”

Thali looked up from her work, brushing her hands off on her apron.

“Is what obvious?” she asked.

“That I feel different and incomplete since my marriage. Everyone seems to have formed a permanent look of pity when I am around.”

Thali sighed and stood up from the ground, grabbing Mina’s hand and pulling her to a more isolated area of the field where they could talk privately.

"I don't think it is as obvious to everyone else as it is to me, but something has definitely changed about you. You never really had an interest in marriage before, but now, you get this look on your face whenever you see a couple or a family."

Mina tilted her head in confusion, narrowing her eyes.

“What kind of look?”

“Like you want that life. You want to be married and have a family.”

Mina held up her left hand, displaying the ring on her finger.

“I am married, remember? And I’ve never been much a motherly type.”

Thali looked at her sister with raised eyebrows, crossing her arms over her chest.

“What?” Mina asked, “It’s the truth.”

"I meant happily married to someone you love and who loves you back. As for the not being the motherly type, you helped raise me. At 11, you took on the role that neither Caleb nor dad could fill. You took mom's place, and then five years later, you took dad's place too. If anything, I would say you are overqualified for motherhood."

“I don’t think there is such a thing as being an overqualified mother,” Mina joked, cracking a small smile at her sister.

Thali rolled her eyes and reached out to take Mina’s hands.

"If family and happiness are things you want, reach out and get it. On your wedding day, you said you wanted to make things work. Talk to Kolya, and get to know him. For all you know, he could want the same thing."

“I don’t think so. Our marriage is just an order to him. He’s only doing his duty, following Cowen’s orders.”

“But somewhere within him, he is just a man. And you are a great catch. Any guy would be lucky to have you!”

Mina laughed softly at her sister’s declaration.

“I’ll make sure to tell him that.”

“Make sure that you do. I know of one guy that would kill to be in his shoes.”

Mina sighed and shook her head.

"Oh, will you quit with that? Ladon does not have feelings for me. We haven't even seen each other in over five years. He probably doesn't remember me, much less have feelings for me. I don't know how you got it into your head that he liked me. Especially since you were 10 when you met him."

Thali tapped her head with her finger.

“I just know things. And I know that Ladon has been head over heels for you since you met. Sora told me when we were younger, and she knows him better than I do.”

Mina rolled her eyes and walked away from her sister back towards the area they had previously been working in.

"You are both delusional. The point is moot anyway. I am married, and I have never felt that way about Ladon, no matter how he feels. You know that. He's too pompous and thinks he knows everything."

Thali laughed and followed Mina across the field.

"Well, since Ladon is off the table for you, I guess you'll just have to make things work with your husband."

Mina shook her head again and threw a small handful of dirt at her sister. Thali let out a small shriek and moved further away from her. The two laughed as they continued their work, Mina feeling better than before. Even though nothing had been said to help her in her current situation, spending time with her sister always lifted her spirits. Unfortunately, the cheerful mood that had fallen over her did not last long, evaporating at the sound of a loud explosion.

All the heads in the field turned to the source of the sound. Mina's eyes met Thali's, and they both turned and ran in the direction of the sound. They were joined by other concerned people running towards the commotion. Running through a small patch of trees, the group came upon the clearing where the testing was done for some of the smaller explosive experiments.

They were greeted with the sight of debris scattered throughout the clearing, several people lying on the ground, and a cloud of smoke covering the area. Mina noticed one of the people lying on the ground had blonde hair and quickly ran over to his still form. She rolled the man over, and her suspicions were confirmed when she saw her brother's dirty face covered with scratches.

“Caleb!” she shouted, shaking his shoulder.

To her relief, Caleb coughed and opened his eyes, blinking a few times. He let out a low groan and sat up slowly.

“Uhhh, what happened?”

“That is exactly what I would like to know,” called out an irritated voice from a few feet away.

Mina turned her head to see Cowen rise from where he had been knocked over by the blast. He certainly did not look happy. His anger seemed to be directed at a smaller figure approaching a piece of debris. Mina narrowed her eyes, gazing through the smoke to see what poor soul had caused this unfortunate incident and angered Cowen.

“I thought it was ready!” Ladon shouted from his place near the debris.

Caleb let out another groan as he attempted to stand.

"Well, you were wrong," he stated bitterly.

Thali joined her siblings and helped Mina get Caleb to his feet. They both took an arm on their shoulders and wrapped their arms around his waist, helping him away from the debris field and guiding him to sit on a log. A man about Mina’s age came running into the clearing, carrying a bag. He made his way over to where they were sitting, pulling medical supplies from his bag.

"I came as soon as I heard the explosion. I wish I was informed when dangerous tests are taking place so I can be ready for injuries," he said in an irritated tone.

"I didn't inform you because I was told that this test would be successful. I didn't think your services would be needed, Corric," Cowen fumed as he walked closer to where Ladon was still crouched.

“I don’t know what went wrong!” Ladon yelled.

"You don't need to yell, Ladon. We can hear you just fine," another voice called out from where Cowen had been.

Mina turned to look in the direction of the voice and was surprised to see her husband standing there, brushing stray debris from his clothing. He walked over to where she and her siblings were sitting. He glanced at her for a second before turning his attention to Caleb and the medic named Corric. Corric had tended to Caleb’s wounds and looked up to Kolya.

"He'll be fine. Ladon, on the other hand, may have hearing damage. That’s probably why he’s yelling.”

Kolya jerked his head in Ladon’s direction.

“Go tend to him. He’s not doing any good stumbling around yelling.”

Corric nodded and walked away from Caleb in Ladon’s direction. He placed his hand on Ladon’s shoulder and led him to a place to sit so he could check him out. Kolya glanced at Mina once more before turning and walking over to Cowen. Mina narrowed her eyes at the scene briefly before turning her attention back to Caleb. She untied her apron and poured some water from her canteen on it to wipe some of the dirt off her brother's face.

“Are you alright?”

Caleb winced as she grazed over a scratch on his face.

"I'll live. Not sure about Ladon, though. He seemed really confident that this test was going to work."

“What were you testing?” Thali asked.

"Ladon's been working on containing a smaller explosion so he could observe their progress on the main weapons they've been working on. He thought he had succeeded in creating a method to observe them, but it seems he was wrong. Either his containment system is faulty, or they haven't worked out the kinks in the smaller explosives."

"If it wasn't ready, why did he test it?" Mina asked, "And why were so many people put in danger to test it?"

“Cowen’s really been pushing him to work harder. After the news that the wraith have woken up earlier than expected, he’s been pushing all the teams to the breaking point. I was here to offer moral support to him, but now I kinda wish I hadn’t been here.”

Mina sighed and again looked over to where her husband was talking with Cowen. She had never been a big fan of Cowen's, sharing her father's opinion of the man. Now his decision to push Ladon's experiments had put her brother and many others in danger. From what Caleb had told her before, she knew that they hadn’t been anywhere close to having a working method of fighting the wraith. Now Cowen was pushing to get things done faster. They simply didn’t have the resources to make it work.

The people that had gathered in the clearing had started to disperse, returning to their work. Corric returned from tending to Ladon to report to Cowen and Kolya.

“He’s mostly alright, but his hearing will be out for a while. So expect a lot of yelling and him not being able to hear you for a while."

Cowen threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

“Wonderful. I thought maybe we had made some progress, but it seems that we have taken a step back.”

He turned and stormed off the field, Kolya and Corric following him back to the entry to the underground bunker. Mina watched the three men walk off before looking back to where Ladon was wandering around, picking up random pieces of rubble and looking at them with disappointment.

“Thali, why don’t you take Caleb home? Finish cleaning him up and make sure he gets some rest.”

Thali nodded and helped Caleb to his feet, holding onto his arm as they walked to support him if he needed. Mina walked over to where Ladon was standing and gave him a small wave. He looked up at her and blinked in surprise.

“Mina! What are you doing here?” he asked loudly.

Mina raised her hand, motioning for him to speak quieter.

“You don’t need to yell. My hearing is fine. It’s yours that’s damaged,” she told him, raising her voice so he could hear her.

Ladon turned his head so he could hear her better.

"Sorry," he said not quite as loudly, "Doc said my eardrums were hurt in the blast. I can't hear myself talk very well."

Mina nodded in understanding.

“Are you alright otherwise?”

Ladon’s expression fell as he gazed around the clearing.

"My pride is wounded, and my head hurts, but other than that, I'm alright."

Mina bent over to pick up a piece of Ladon’s experiment off the ground. She turned it over in her hands, looking at the charred parts.

“I think you need to work a little more on this.”

Ladon shook his head and took the piece from her hands.

“I really thought it was ready. I had hoped that we had finally gotten somewhere and that Cowen would be happy with my work.”

Mina was not used to seeing this side of Ladon. The whole time she had known him, he had always been too overconfident in his abilities. Being appointed as Cowen's chief scientist at such a young age had not done anything to lessen his ego. It was one of the things that had pushed her away from him when they were younger. This disappointed, downtrodden Ladon was someone completely different. She reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder, an encouraging smile on her face.

"I'm sure things will work out better next time. Maybe make sure it works before testing it around Cowen and other people, though. Avoid this kind of disaster in the future."

Ladon returned her smile in gratitude. She watched his eyes rake over her face, and she began to think that maybe Thali had been correct. Her suspicions were confirmed when Ladon’s expression changed as his gaze fell on her hand.

“Are you married?” he asked in a surprised tone.

Mina followed his gaze down to the ring on her finger that she had been waving in Thali’s face earlier.

"Yes. I got married two months ago. Arranged marriage."

“Who did you marry?”

“Kolya. My brother and Cowen made an agreement to help my family get in better standing.”

Ladon’s mouth turned down in a frown. Mina was sure now that Thali had been right. He did have feelings for her. Now she was married, and to his commanding officer. She took a step back, putting some distance between them.

"I'll let you get back to work on your experiment. I'm glad you are alright. Bye, Ladon."

Ladon raised his hand in a half-hearted wave before he walked away to collect more pieces of his failed experiment. Mina sighed and walked across the clearing back in the direction of her home. The workday was nearly over, so there was no point returning to work. Instead, she spent the remainder of the afternoon preparing dinner.

When Kolya returned home from the bunker, she had everything ready. All through dinner, she kept covertly glancing across the table at her husband. He hadn’t said anything since arriving home, which was nothing out of the ordinary. Even outside their home, when she had seen him after the explosion, he hadn’t said a word to her.

As was the usual, they finished their meal in silence, and she cleaned up afterward. She walked to her bedroom door, turning to look at him sitting in front of the fireplace. He had a glass of liquor in his hand, and he was silently looking into the fire as he often did after dinner. She wanted to say something, anything to strike up a conversation. Maybe do what Thali had suggested earlier and talk to him about her unhappiness. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. She let out a sigh and simply said goodnight before entering her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

She changed into her sleeping clothes and laid down to go to sleep. Her mind kept wandering to her conversation with Thali and her conflicted feelings about having a family and happy marriage. Ladon’s smile and disappointed expression appeared in her mind, stirring up doubt.

Had she made a massive mistake in agreeing to marry Acastus? Would she have been happier if she had gone against her brother's plan? Maybe someday Ladon would have told her how he felt, and they could have moved forward together. Now she would never know, and she was here in her own bed in her husband’s childhood home. As she thought over her situation, for the first time in a long while, Mina quietly cried herself to sleep.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this part! Please reblog, like, and comment! If you would like to be added to the taglist, go here!

[agltaria]

i thought i’d be more interested in wangxian when i first got into the untamed + mdzs but lmao oops *cries over nie siblings* *cries over jiang cheng* *cries over literally everything that happened in yi city* *cries over wen ning* *cries over jiang cheng again but even sadder* *cries over lan xichen* *cries ov-

[drippingmoon]

This or That Writer Edition

Done this before, but y'know, you're completely right @sleepy-night-child. I'm gonna take this as an opportunity to ramble some more because I really feel like it. Thanks so much, nightfriend❤ this really is therapeutic

And for that matter, anyone can join me. Open tag<3 the questions will be, uh, behind the cut.

1. historical or futuristic

I kinda love reading about history hahaha, and it was mostly fantasy in medieval settings that got me into writing, so this is a no-brainer. (Even my sci-fi shortie will have some dated technology🤣 for plot reasons, of course)

2. the opening or closing chapter

Mmm idk what it is about them, but endings always come to me naturally🥰 surprisingly with 'quiv it was both, but it was also meant to be a short story before it spun out of control🤷‍♀️ and though I kinda know where I wanna start Icy, fun fact! I have the endings for all three books down and detailed😇 I guess it's always the ending that draws me to writing a story🥺

3. light + fluffy or dark + gritty

how do you even separate them. Okay, when I first started writing I was all for the latter, but that changed quickly. 'Quiv has me loving it as much as I do especially because at its core it was a warmer, gentler story full of hope🥰

4. animal companion or found family

Before 'quiv, my casts used to be fully animal or >50% comprised of animal characters. Even now angel mannerisms are more bird-like in nature than human🤣 animals have always owned my entire heart❤ you've never known true love until you've had it curl in your lap🥺 Also, I'm all for the 'two people against the world' which doesn't really fit found families

5. horror or romance

Just saying, the Turning🤷‍♀️ and some of you might know I'm all about platonic love, soooo. Oh, and my sci-fi shortie will also be horror🤔 though I guess Icy breaks the mold and is a romantic comedy...

6. hard or soft magic system

Can't really have dances and song as time and emotion magic feature as a hard system. And I like to surprise myself when writing too🤣 so no systems. Would make me anxious and 100% like all my plans I would *not* follow them lol

7. standalone or series

...not gonna lie, I'm really drawn to series🤣 but that's also how I got burnt out, and since 'quiv is my love, I'll go with standalones. They're a much different writing experience🤔 feel a lot more compact. There's no "later", and that hit differently and in a good way😳

8. one project at a time or always juggling 2+

I did try juggling. I really did. I said, if I get in the mood to start something else, then that's what I'm gonna do. But apparently only one wip can devour my entire mind at a time, and though I can brainstorm for the others, after a few hours I just yearn to go back to 'quiv, you know? It's complete brainrot🥰🥰

9. one award winner or one bestseller

One finished book, I digress lmao

10. fantasy or sci-fi

^same as the historical/futuristic one. I guess fantasy doesn't have aliens🤔 and it's been growing on me lately with all y'all wips🥺🥰 but fantasy will always be my beloved

11. character or setting description

Character descriptions run the risk of turning into lists😬 I mean, settings also should. But for some reason they've also come more naturally to me, and I enjoy them loads more🥰 and lately I've started describing characters like settings, ie 'as beautiful as rain' 🤣🤣 but that's cheating. Also also. Let me just say. Star descriptions🥺 idk how angels in space came to me as an idea, but it was by far the best I've ever had. I have so much fun writing the setting💞

12. first or final draft

If final drafts are anything like, second, third, fourth drafts, then first drafts oh my god

13. Literary or commercial genre

I don't believe in these genres lol

14. love triangle in everything or no romance arcs

Never seen the appeal about love triangles, but then again I'm not a romance person. Just give me two people loving each other deeply and it'll turn into 'quiv I'll be satisfied🥰🥰 and no, for the record, it doesn't have to be carnal for it to be love or soulmates to me

15. constant sandstorm or rainstorm

How can you not love rain?? For plot-related reasons or not, once it gets to the rainy season I really feel like it's restored some life to me🥰🥰 and rainy settings are godsends for scenes. That, and I've never been fond of desert settings

[serafilms]

omg! i just found that you had to make a new blog haha! I wanted to resubmit my request for percy x clearsighted mortal! reader headcanons! thank you!

percy jackson x mortal!reader hc’s

pairing — percy jackson x gn!clear sighted mortal!reader

genre — headcanons; bulleted scenarios; fluff; crack; light angst but not

warnings — none

so basically you just replace rachel in the series and play the role she did (minus the oracle stuff, she can still take care of that)

this way we don’t have that lowkey unnecessary plot line of rachel crushing unrequitedly on percy for like one (1) book

except I like the idea that you would have known percy for longer (the best part about percabeth was the slow burn <3)

so let’s say you went to yancy academy with him and grover and you saw through the mist too but because you ARE the main character and this is your origin story, you wrote it off and continued with your life, ignoring all these other strange things that happened to you

UNTIL BOOK 3

hard to ignore a bunch of skeletons chasing some kid through a building and he slashed a sword through you-

hold on

“percy???”

“oh,,,,, hi,,,,”

“y/n.”

“y/n, right. nice to see you.”

“uh yeah. um why’d you try and stab me and why tf didn’t it work?”

awks lols

so yeah percy was kind of shocked by that and he tried to explain but then the skeletons showed up again and you had to cover for him so he could escape

“look I have to go but I promise I’ll explain it some other time!”

“bro wtf no don’t leave me hanging”

he left you hanging

but at least you didn’t die

so anyways you didn’t see him until a few months later when you were at the orientation day at school and who should show up but the boy from your old school who tried to kill you?

“omg haha y/n so weird to see you again lolz gtg” my boy was blushing

had you always looked this pretty and why was it only hitting him now

“yeah buddy look you owe me an explanation, but also I think there’s some more weird creatures here who are after you”

and so y’all ended up having to run away from the empousai

percy couldn’t hold back his blush when you wrote your number on his arm

annabeth teased him relentlessly (bc I love annabeth with my whole heart and I believe she deserves better than a jealousy love triangle plot)

you were extremely disgruntled at being left without an explanation again

but luckily when they needed someone to guide them through the labyrinth, percy knew just who to call

annabeth was snappish with you at first, mainly bc she was disgruntled at needing to ask a mortal for help, but also bc she was really freaked about losing authority and control for her quest

esp the child of Athena line of the prophecy

her confidence was dwindling but luckily you with your clear sight could see right through her

while percy was sleeping and you couldn’t fall asleep, you heard annabeth shifting around

so you asked her what was wrong and in her vulnerable state, she confided in you

you gave her an effective albeit slightly confused pep talk

you didn’t really have much context to go off of but you made it work

#newbestiesalert

“you know, I think he likes you.”

“omfg annabeth stopppp I don’t see him like that though 👀👀👀👀”

clown

percy was very confused when he woke up but you two didn’t care to fill him in

“girls bond, percy, deal with it.”

anyways i think you two would have had tension in the last olympian

like you kissed him before he went off with beckendorf (rip)

and then there was just a lot of glances, shy smiles, angst, emotions, and he kissed you at the end of it all

onto the headcanons because this has gone on long enough

will do his best to keep you separated from the demigod lifestyle because he knows how dangerous it is

you're like the one shining piece of normalcy he has in his life

i picture like a peter parker + ned leeds situation where he's spiderman and you're like 'the guy in the chair'

you see a monster or something sus going on and alert him and he'll take care of it

you visit camp sometimes too but you don't spend a whole lot of time there because, well, you don't have to worry about dying

plus school and you don't want to intrude on that part of his life

besides no matter how many monsters you've seen, you'll never be able to get used to it

sally absolutely adores you

she lets you stay with her and paul when percy has to go do his demigod duties and you get worried

estelle absolutely adores you as well

you're literally her favourite person in the world at this point

she cries whenever you leave her

but after percy "retires" so to speak, and has to do college and stuff, it's like you both have all the time in the world

you help him live a normal life and he will do whatever he can to protect it

[medea10]

My Review of Marmalade Boy

How did I get into this anime? I’ve heard of the title several decades past and put it on the back-back-back burner for God-knows how long.

So Miki Koishikawa is a relatively normal high school student. Has friends, loving parents, and loves to play tennis. Let’s drop the mic here!

Her world is turned upside-down when her parents decide to get a divorce. But wait, it gets better! Her parents announce they’re going to remarry to another couple that’s also getting a divorce. But because these parents don’t hate each other to live separately, these two couples are going to buy a big house and live together under one roof. Okay, these parents are total swingers and I can’t help but think they went to a few-too many “Key Parties” in their past. But wait, it gets better! The other couple in this mess has a son named Yuu Matsura. And wouldn’t you know it, Miki thought from the get-go that Yuu was kinda cute and they end up…uh-oh!

Surprise Incest!

In this surprisingly 75 episode series, we see a lot go down with this particular couple as there is a lot to cover. This story covers a lot involving the main characters and their love lives. And it gives you what you would expect including love triangles, petty fights that go nowhere, long-distance relationships, and of course hiding the fact you’re in a relationship from your parents because his parents are her parents now!

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: This was originally licensed by Tokyopop. That is kind of a rarity as we all know the ups and downs of that particular distributor. But long story short, this is currently under the licensing of Discotek. Better yet, while I was viewing this, Crunchyroll decided to be kind and stream the series on their site (sub only). The dub had many recognizable voices from folks stationed in L.A. So we get to hear from Michelle Ruff, Yuri Lowenthal, Carrie Savage, and the late Michael Lindsay. The sub version of course has several folks I’m familiar with like Ryoutarou Okiayu, Aya Hisakawa, Akira Ishida, Junichi Kanemaru…

Wait…did I just say Junichi Kanemaru! Holy rare items! The voice of Harley from Pokemon! FUCKING HARLEY! Before I turn into a screaming/fainting goat, here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Yuu is played by Ryoutarou Okiayu (known for Scar on FMA, Shigure on Fruits Basket, Akio on Clannad, Byakuya on Bleach, Tiger’s Eye on Sailor Moon SuperS, Mr. K on Gravitation, and Igor on Blue Exorcist)

*Miki is played by Mariko Kouda (known for Sakura on Pokemon, Yuri on Dirty Pair Flash, Kaya on One Piece, Nayuki on Kanon, and Juri on Vampire Knight)

ENGLISH CAST: *Yuu is played by Michael Lindsay (known for Urahara on Bleach, Kankurou on Naruto, Tamaki on Code Geass, and Joe on Digimon) [R.I.P]

*Miki is played by Michelle Ruff (known for Luna on Sailor Moon [redub], Nagato on Haruhi Suzumiya, Tsukasa on Lucky Star, Anri on Durarara, Euphemia on Code Geass, Sinon on SAO, and Chii on Chobits)

DISLIKED CHARACTER: In other words, which relationship road-block did I despise the most? There were quite a few people after both Miki and Yuu throughout the series run. And despite the many reservations I have involving with this ship and will glare at their relationship with a surprise incest hate going on, I didn’t want to see these two go out with the worst person.

Honestly, I thought I would be putting Ginta and Arimi up here. Both of them supremely got on my nerves in the first arc of the series. Particularly Ginta with the way he did Miki wrong in middle school and again by stealing a kiss from her. Jinny in the NY arc really aggravated me, but not as much as I thought she would.

But then you have Suzu and Kei. These two characters just wouldn’t stop! Suzu would deliberately invite Yuu over or involve him in some stupid activity to get close to him and make Miki jealous. And Kei straight-up lied to Miki about having her medallion for almost 10 episodes. After all that shit, I thought there was no way in hell dude was ever going to get with Miki, even if she and Yuu broke up. Never say never! She goes out with him. What the fuck, Miki? I know he got a little better after the dishonesty Kei brought about, but still. I did however feel sorry for Kei and lost stamina in my hatred for this kid. I knew he was going to be the rebound guy and that he still stood no chance of being with Miki in the long-run.

Suzu on the other hand, fuck the bitch! Especially after the ski-trip episode! Suzu almost killed Miki. Okay, Arimi might have stolen a kiss from Yuu. Jinny might have lied about sleeping with Yuu. But Suzu almost committed negligent homicide. Fuck her! So yeah, Suzu is my least favorite character on Marmalade Boy.

SHIPPING: Okay…this might take a while, but I want to cover everything as much as humanly possible. And if you don’t want to be spoiled by what I say, probably don’t watch the eye-catches in every episode. They kinda show who’s supposed to be with who.

*Yuu x Miki: Ah shit, here we go again! As if I haven’t written enough opinions on shipping couples that are step-siblings recently. Despite my prejudice against surprise incest ships, this one is the least infuriating of the ones I’ve watched in the last two years. This ship has gone through its share of drama. Yuu had several girls interfere with his relationship with Miki. And Miki had her fair share as well, including a rebound boyfriend. But no matter what, they always found their way back to each other. I shouldn’t hate this ship. I should shake my head with those parents of Miki and Yuu’s. Good God, I thought I’ve heard it all!

*Miki x Ginta: So Ginta was a boy that Miki had a crush on a few years prior to the story. But dumbass Ginta read Miki’s love letter out loud to a bunch of friends and that soured their friendship (which was a misunderstanding). They eventually reached a mature level of casually speaking to each other again in later years. But this gets ugly again when Ginta gets jealous over Yuu and steals a kiss from Miki. Who do you think you are, Dio Brando? Not only that but Ginta does some ugly methods in order to win Miki’s heart including be in a sham relationship with Arimi (Yuu’s former girlfriend). It was at this point of the series that I despised Ginta and hoped he would never find happiness. But thankfully, that hatred passed.

*Yuu x Arimi: Yuu also had a romantic past. But in this case, Arimi had the crush and begged Yuu to date her for three months. And they had fun during those three months. It’s just that Yuu sees Arimi as more of a friend. But Arimi still has it strong for Yuu and ends up trying to make him jealous by dating another boy. That went over as well as a lead balloon.

*Ginta x Arimi: This ship actually started out being a fake relationship. So almost on the same level as what you saw in the anime Toradora. Both of them had feelings for other people, but of course neither of them had any chance with Miki or Yuu. Ginta already dug his grave years ago when he read Miki’s love letter publicly and Yuu had no interest in Arimi even when they were dating. So these two ended up together in an attempt to make their crushes jealous! But it wasn’t really smooth sailing as Arimi is quite popular around her school. She has a lot of fanboys including Ginta’s loud and annoying cousin.

Oh yeah, Ginta’s loud and annoying cousin. I don’t care for him.

*Meiko x Namura-sensei: There will be plenty of episodes involving this ship. They are no threat to Miki and Yuu’s relationship. Meiko is Miki’s best friend and Na-chan is their teacher. It’s just that every now and then we take a detour into “Meiko: The Miniseries”.

Oh man, I thought the surprise incest was enough. Now we get a student/teacher relationship. By the looks of it, this does seem non-sexual and both are consenting (so no one was taken advantage). It’s just that this is VERY taboo. It especially gets dangerous when Na-chan ends up as Meiko’s homeroom teacher and they couldn’t see each other out in the open anymore. Oh, did I forget to mention this relationship kinda started when Meiko was in middle school. Silly me! Have fun with that tidbit. Then it gets crazier when this relationship is found out and ultimatums are put on both of them. I’m not as bitchy about these sorts of relationships and again I point out other controversial student/teacher relationships that raise an eyebrow like Sakura’s parents on Cardcaptor Sakura or Tohru’s parents on Fruits Basket. But I do see Meiko as the successful story that Natsuo from Domestic Girlfriend could learn from.

At least she didn’t have a child with Satoshi and leave him for Na-chan!

*Meiko x Satoshi: And here we have a Johnny-Come-Lately/Rebound! Meiko’s heart still belongs to Na-chan, yet Satoshi persists Meiko at every opportunity. Now there were some moments where it felt like Meiko was going to cave in and start falling for Satoshi. And he has been very supportive of her writing, even if he entered her story in a contest without her consent. He does care for her.

She did give in every now and then to her confused emotions with Satoshi. Hey, she even gave up a kiss too. But she will never be over Na-chan. This ship was a whirlwind of emotion, especially when Meiko sees Na-chan again and she tries to get back with him. Na-chan turns the tables by telling Meiko he doesn’t love her and that he’s now in a committed relationship with their teacher Miss Ryoko. But that was a lie. Na-chan loves Meiko and just used Miss Ryoko as an excuse. Did I mention Miss Ryoko loves Na-chan too? Feel like I should have mentioned that. Thankfully, Na-chan and Meiko end up realizing they love each other too much to let the other one go. Fuck all, fuck the families, fuck what society thinks, we’re engaged. Apologies to Miss Ryoko and Satoshi who are now in Dumps-ville!

Let’s get away from the Meiko drama. In the second arc to this story, we ease away from the drama that consisted of characters like Arimi, Ginta, and even Satoshi. However, more love rivals come into play, especially after Yuu and Miki hook up.

Now that Ginta is out of the picture and has hooked up with Arimi, you’d think it’d be smooth sailing for Miki, right? Hell no! Miki gets a part-time job and works with a boy named Kei. Kei eventually gets the hots for Miki but knows she’s off-limits as she has a boyfriend. What does Kei do? Hold onto Miki’s memento from Yuu and lie about it for several episodes. This guy really put unnecessary strains on Miki and her relationship with Yuu to a point where Miki is hiding stuff from Yuu. Thankfully, this didn’t cause as much damage as I thought and Miki x Yuu is back in business. While Kei has accepted that Miki loves Yuu, he will be back to get her!

Yuu on the other hand had to deal with an annoying little princess by the name of Suzu. After meeting Suzu, I gotta say this girl is persistent. She would always drive him and Miki away from each other or try to drive a wedge between them. Suzu would do everything in her power to have Yuu over at her home. But Yuu has his priorities straight about why he’s over there. Suzu’s father wants Yuu to tutor her and Yuu wants to learn from Suzu’s father to further his interest in architecture. Priorities! Still doesn’t stop Suzu from being an annoying nuisance. And did I mention the almost negligent homicide incident? I’m never going to be over that!

There was also another girl. But you can’t really hate this girl like Suzu. Let’s talk about Ann! She is actually a really good competitor for Yuu’s heart and I can see how Miki could be intimidated by her. A sickly girl with a bad heart whom Yuu has known since childhood! Oh fuck yeah! Ann doesn’t mind being second place in Yuu’s heart actually. She sees that the two love each other and Ann stows her feelings to the side.

…

I suppose I should talk about this stuff as well.

So when Yuu moved to NY, there was a lot of fighting for people’s love in the big apple and in Japan. Yuu and Miki still love each other despite the long distance relationship. However Miki is being hounded by Kei (AGAIN) and the student exchange boy Michael. Meanwhile, Yuu is being pursued by a girl named Jinny. And Jinny is being pursued by a guy named Brian (the brother of student exchange boy Michael). Problem is, Jinny has no interest in Brian and only has eyes for Yuu until she totally fucks it up with him. But then Miss Priss over here gets jealous when another friend, Bill, gets friendly with Yuu’s long-time friend Ann. But then Jinny ends up with Bill. And Brian settles for forever-friend-zoned Doris.

I hope you all followed that NY drama because I don’t feel like going over that web of shit again. Oh wait.

Miki and Kei hooked up too. Don’t worry, it didn’t last.

THESE PARENTS, I TELL YA: Miki and Yuu’s parents are a trip! They tell their kids everything at the last, possible minute. They spring on the most messed-up surprises on them and expect them to just go with the flow. Yeah, I’m slightly with Miki when it comes to the parents remarrying each other. I’m glad they still have a relationship that they still like each other even though they’re divorcing. But for fuck’s sake, you cannot expect anyone to smile and go with the flow when they suddenly tell you that the parents you’ve known your whole life divorces on the fly and trades partners with another couple. But it isn’t just that one thing! Miki and Yuu’s parents constantly drop news on them at the very last minute (especially with Miki).

Why are you moving furniture?

We invited a foreign exchange student to live with us!

Why are you guys dressed up?

We’re going out for dinner! Have fun with the leftovers.

Why do you have all that luggage?

We’re going on a surprise honeymoon! Take care of the house while we’re gone.

These parents are so flighty I want to hate them on the same level as Brock’s parents from Pokemon. But there were certain moments in the anime that cause me to back off. One particular moment was when the school found out about the living arrangement with the mixed family and the vice principal got her panties in a bunch about how unorthodox this was. Yuu and Miki’s parents came in and told them that they love these kids and would do anything for them. But for real guys, stop springing surprise news on your kids.

MOVIE: I actually decided to watch the movie before viewing the television series. After the television run of Marmalade Boy, a 30 minute movie came out one year later. This movie showed us Yuu’s reaction to the news of his parents divorcing and remarrying another divorced couple since the series focused more on Miki’s reaction. Yu’s reaction was hard to tell since this boy really showed no big reaction to this news. Yuu’s got one hell of a poker face. But for most of the special, he ends up following this girl he catches a glimpse of. Only later does he realize that she has the same name as his soon-to-be step-sister.

ARCS: In an anime like this and at the time of its airing, you know they were going to cover quite a bit compared to animes of today. The fact that Marmalade Boy had a total of 76 episodes proves that this was full of love triangles and fillers. It felt like after 25 episodes or so, things change with something monumental happening with the main ship of Miki and Yuu.

The first part of this anime consisted of Yuu and Miki adjusting to life with a very unorthodox, mixed family and figuring out where Yuu and Miki were going to go with their romantic lives. Was Yuu going to go back out with his old girlfriend Arimi? Was Miki going to give Ginta a second chance after their turmoil in middle school? Can Yuu and Miki get together without a wave of disgusting looks from fans and others because of this borderline incest concept?

The second part of the anime consisted of several different characters wanting Yuu and/or Miki for something romantic. Characters like Suzu and Kei came to the picture and were dead-set on keeping Yuu and Miki away from each other. Suzu tried everything in her power to keep Yuu all to herself during study sessions and the like. Hell, there was an episode where she led Miki away from Yuu by having her go to a hard ski-slope during a snowstorm, almost killing her. Have I mentioned the negligent homicide yet to you all? I feel like I should! Kei lied to Miki on several occasions and held something important of hers just to get what he wanted. We also had another girl who was interested in Yuu, but Ann had other things to deal with like her health. But she doesn’t mind being second best girl to Miki.

The third part tests Yuu and Miki with having to deal with a long-distance relationship as Yuu is going to study abroad in New York for his final year of high school. And you all know that long-distance relationships can cause the likes of cheating, apathetic phone calls, and rebounds!

ENDING: Yuu moving to New York really put a major strain on his and Miki’s relationship. These two crazy kids missed each other, but as we all know, most long-distance relationships are doomed to fall apart. I mean, you’ve got Miki being pursued by her foreign-exchange friend Michael and former co-worker Kei. Meanwhile in America, Yuu is being pursued by a girl at his dorms named Jinny. And this bitch goes above and beyond to detour Miki away from Yuu by lying to her about sleeping with Yuu. I truly want to place blame on Jinny for Miki breaking up with Yuu, but let’s face it, Miki can’t live like this. Miki was literally at a breaking point when she made a surprise visit to NY and Jinny’s stupid comment about sleeping with him was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.

In the aftermath of this breakup, Miki ends up taking comfort in Kei. This is what we call “the rebound”. It won’t last! But I think Kei knows that Miki’s not going to be his forever love. And this gets put to the test when Yuu comes back to Japan for summer break. No surprises that Miki breaks up with Kei and goes back to Yuu. Happily ever after right?! Not even close. Kei and Ann are left heartbroken (again). Then again, we went through the same shit when Meiko broke Satoshi’s heart and Na-chan did the same to Miss Ryoko. But then we got the biggest bombshell to date.

Around episode 24 or so, we learned that Yuu’s father was NOT his real father. And in that part of the story, Yuu thought that Satoshi’s father was his biological father. But it was later proven that he is not (no matter how much the two are heavily into architecture). Yuu comes across some pictures of his parents from the past that were very troubling. It turns out Yuu and Miki’s parents didn’t just randomly meet during a vacation in Hawaii. They actually have history. Jin’s arms around Yuu’s mother could only mean one logical explanation.

These parents are fucking swingers!

No, but seriously the incest aroma is coming in strong that Oreimo is saying “this stinks”.

So Yuu, not even a week after getting back with Miki breaks up with her, doesn’t tell her this revelation involving their parents, doesn’t even confront his parents and step-parents about this, and ditches her to go back to America.

Yuu, you punk-ass, pussy-ass bitch! Meiko should have slapped your brains out. Do you have any idea how many things Miki has been left out of involving her damn family? Those flakey parents don’t even tell their kids anything until the last minute. She should at least know that her father might have had relations with Yuu’s mother. Yes, this is a really fucked-up turn, but I think Yuu could have handled this better than he did. After Yuu broke things off with Miki, she decided to lock away all memories of Yuu, got a new look and put on a happy face. But she’s still huring inside. So she goes to NY to confront Yuu. Yuu FINALLY says they might be half-brother and sister and Miki ends up having a big enough meltdown that it involved the Manhattan police and a search team.

But after almost being stabbed in Harlem, Miki and Yuu don’t care if they’re related or not, they’ll be together forever. They’re fine with not having kids or not being legally married, they’ll stay together. And perfect timing, Miki and Yuu’s parents, along with Meiko and Satoshi came to NY to make sure Miki was found safe. So it’s time for Yuu to hammer his parents for hiding stuff from them. And here were the results of that!

Yes, these parents did know each other and dated one another in their college days. Yuu’s mother Chiyako in fact was impregnated by Miki’s father Jinn. However, they broke up and Chiyako wound up with Youji. But that baby was NOT Yuu. Chiyako suffered a miscarriage years before Yuu was born. Youji Matsura is Yuu’s father all along. Oh and all four parents know about Miki and Yuu’s relationship. Skeptical at first, but they’re okay by them being together.

And the happiness continues as we fast-forward to Na-chan and Meiko’s wedding. Ginta and Arimi are still on good footing. Miss Ryouko might find love in a new person. Suzu and Kei might be getting together. Same might be said about Michael and Ann. And then Yuu and Miki’s parents announce they’re expecting babies. THIS FAMILY IS INSANE! We end the series with a medley of the best and worst kisses, ending on Yuu and Miki kissing at their own wedding.

That was Marmalade Boy! It was as 90s as you could get with the vibrant colors, dramatic stings, romantic J-Pop playing in the background during the juicy moments, constant close-ups of peoples faces during the shocking moments, and riddled with heterosexual romances. I’ll be honest, there were times where I would completely forget that Miki and Yuu were step-brother and sister and would just go on and root for them. But then near the end of the series where we learn that there’s a good chance they might be blood-related, then I was ready to shove this ship in the trash. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case.

I can’t be the only person to say this but, I think Domestic Girlfriend took a lot of things from Marmalade Boy. Not straight-up plagiarized it, but was inspired by it. We had parents suddenly get remarried and the main character now has a brother, romantic happenings with the step-brother and sister, and of course a relationship between a student and teacher. But give Domestic Girlfriend some credit, the parents weren’t as fucking crazy as the ones in Marmalade Boy. I thought I felt sorry for Natsuo’s future kid. I saw some stuff involving Marmalade Boy’s sequel manga. That family tree grew and sprouted some confusing branches after Miki and Yuu’s step-siblings came into the picture.

If you are heavily into love-triangles of every form, check out Marmalade Boy. Every episode is now available on Crunchyroll (sub only).

Okay, what’s my next Nozomi Entertainment/Discotek/Animes made before Oct 1986?

Get ready to go back to the year 1983 with this one.

Cat’s Eye? Okay, let’s do it.

[mermaidsirennikita]

I have a friend whos getting into romance novels and would love some recommendations, she's into bdsm, dom/sub dynamics (with a preference for femdoms) harem/reverse harem and polycules. They can be any subgender of romance really, however she's not the biggest fan of mafia books and I think she's not super into dubcon stuff. If you have anything that fits into this it would be greatly appreciated!

For sure!

In general, I would recommend Sierra Simone. Most of her books are kinky with a heavy emphasis on dom/sub, and several of her most famous series are poly. At points, her characters may practice CNC (consensual non-consent; everyone consents to the fantasy beforehand and there are safe-outs ahead of time, in fact she's one of the only authors I've read who covers things like "snap your fingers if you want me to stop" when gags are in play) but it is not dubcon.

A quick rundown of her books and their kinks/tropes:

The Bell Brothers series, which includes:

Priest--Catholic priest/parishioner (sort of), BDSM with a dom hero and a submissive but bratty heroine, obviously a lot of play surrounding Catholicism

Sinner--Novice nun/her brother's slutty best friend, age gap, BDSM with a male dom, virgin heroine

Saint--Monk/his ex-boyfriend, m/m obviously, lighter on the kink but Dom/sub is still present; there's also a chastity device involved.

New Camelot:

American Queen, American Prince, American King--must be read in order, MMF, Dom/sub with a dom hero, a switch hero (subs for the other hero, often doms the heroine but there is more of a power play between them wherein she engages in some light domming) and sub heroine. Begins as a love triangle but is a polyamorous triad by the end of book one. VERY kinky, with things like bondage, spanking, CNC, role play, edging, pain play, light CBT, etc.

Lyonesse:

Salt in the Wound and Salt Kiss--must be read in order, in progress. MMF, though the triad is currently in its early stages. SitW focuses on the main dom and the heroine, who is a sub but is very particular about her submission (she's into pain and is quite aggressive in some ways), and SK focuses more on the submissive hero falling for the dominant hero and then the heroine separately (he has a somewhat more dominant role with the heroine, but it's more of a trade off). A little darker than NC I'd say, due to the dominant hero being more of an enigma and all three leads being more... violent? Not necessarily with each other. Breeding kink (not for actual conception... it's quite queer), bondage, wax play, pain play, etc.

Thornchapel:

A Lesson in the Thorns, Feast of Sparks, Harvest of Sighs, Door of Bruises--must be read in order, VERY poly, six leads with two core relationships (MMF and FF) but everyone does have sex with each other at some point. There's some free use, Dom/sub, very taboo relationships, and there is femdom in the FF pairing.

Outside of Sierra, I'd say...

Preferential Treatment by Heather Guerre. Femdom, the heroine is paid by the hero, her boss, to be his domme. It's actually quite fun and romantic in a lot of ways, but she's also sort of financially dominating him by making him donate to women's shelters and stuff lol.

The Duke I Tempted by Scarlett Peckham. This is a femdom historical, though the heroine doesn't realize that the hero wants to be dominated until the last third of the book or so because he's been trying to hide it from her. He does see a dominatrix during this time, though there isn't explicitly sexual contact (I believe he gets caned, which does arouse him, but doesn't involve direct skin to skin engagement); I didn't have an issue with it as a READER, but obviously it's not ideal for a relationship lol. I liked how it was handled, personally.

Her book The Earl I Ruined also has some light Dom/sub stuff, with a male dom and a newbie female sub.

Hyacinth by S.M. LaViolette. Another historical. The heroine is less experienced than the hero (but not a virgin) but they're both interested in kink and they switch off on dominating each other. At points she ties him up, at points she whips him until he comes, all that.

Sara Cate's Salacious Players Club has generalized kink and I'd recommend:

Praise--Dom/sub with a male dom. He's a pleasure dom, which is depicted here in what I would consider a pretty soft but also very clearly set out kind of way?

Eyes on Me--This isn't D/s so much as it is voyeurism. The heroine is a camgirl and her stepbrother (yes I know... they didn't grow up together) begins watching her, because voyeurism is his thing. Not for everyone, but Iiiiii liked it.

Give Me More--This isn't as heavy on the kink (though there is some bondage stuff and what one hero initially thinks is cuckoldry, but that's actually not his kink) but it is heavy on the MMF, as it's about a married couple realizing they're both in love with their male best friend. Very hot.

Mercy--This is a straight up femdom romance (with pegging, a rare find). The hero realizes that he's a brat, the heroine realizes she's not only a domme but a brat tamer, and we go from there! Super good. I'd say GMM and Mercy are the strongest installments in this series, for sure.

And then leaving Sara Cate...

Scandalous Passions by Nicola Davidson. A fun historical FFM romance with femdom! The older heroine is a domme, and the hero and the younger heroine both submit to her. She falls in love with both of them separately before they fall for each other. Kinky and also pretty clear on consent.

Minx by Sophie Lark. This is a kinky escort/billionaire romance. I'd say that he's the more dominant partner at first, but she's very actively involved and they start switching towards the end. The big kink with this one is PET PLAY, and they both get turns wearing the collar.

Act Your Age by Eve Dangerfield. Contemporary that focuses a lot on daddy kink, with some stepfather/stepdaughter roleplay. Some light CNC is involved, all carefully discussed beforehand.

Possession by Adriana Anders. Generally very kinky, set in a literal "kink camp" where people go to work their shit out. The hero is dominant and the heroine is submissive; there's roleplaying kidnapping, as well as some sharing of her with his friend. There is also a bonus scene wherein he shares her with uhhhhh like... four or five people lmao.

A Lady of Rooksgrave Manor by Kathryn Moon is a historical monster romance, wherein the heroine is a sex worker who ends up with... five...? Male partners. Of various monster origins--vampire stuff, Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde vibes, there's a sphynx, one guy is like... invisible, one is a gollum I think lmao it's wild. There are many kinks involved, including generalized BDSM, somnophilia, etc; I believe one guy is a little more on the submissive side. Some of them interact with each other sexually on the reg, some prefer only her.

Consort of Fire by Kit Rocha is a fun fantasy romance (ongoing series). It's FFM, with the two heroines already in a relationship when one of them marries the hero, and they all begin to fall for each other. The hero is definitely on the switchy side, and we are working up to some light femdom imo. Super hot.

Triple Sec by TJ Alexander... This one isn't out until this summer, but I'd recommend that anyone who loves a poly romance pre-orders! The heroine is recently single and meets this female lawyer she hits it off with; the lawyer is open about being in a polyamorous marriage, with an NB spouse. Initially, our main heroine only dates the lawyer, but slooooowly sparks begin to fly with the spouse as well. Has some light femdom, I'd say.

[cheuwing]

James Sholto & Flowers

At long last, it is finally time to publish this meta! I adore TSOT and its intricate flower subtext (I already wrote two pieces about it: x, x). As we’ll explore in this analysis, it is fascinating to see how much the flowers associated with James Sholto can tell us about him and his link with John.

First of all, I find it quite striking to note that James Sholto is always presented surrounded by flowers and nature. Admittedly, TSOT is a very flowery episode, but:

John and Sholto warmly greet each other in the flowery reception hall and its nature-inspired wallpaper,

Sholto’s room is covered by the most flowery wallpaper (and I will point out what a fascinating choice of pattern it is),

Sherlock and John discuss James “former commander/ex” Sholto in a park (surrounded by grass with sparse daisies),

there are paintings of flowers hanging in the hall while John, Sherlock and Mary try to save Sholto.

This character is constantly associated with nature and flowers, which serves to convey an intricate subtext.

So let us embark on an exploration of this flowery subtext!

The wallpaper in Sholto’s room

On the wallpaper in Sholto’s room, we can observe a pattern including:

pink forget-me-nots (5 round petals, distinctive shape),

oak leaves,

shamrocks.

I will start to focus on each symbol, before trying to combine their meanings.

A) Pink forget-me-not:

The flower symbolises the reminder of an old flame, as well as moments spent with a loved one you don’t want to forget. The flower represents a strong connection lasting through time. It conveys the remembrance of a true and undying love during partings or after death and highlights fidelity and loyalty in a relationship despite separation or challenges.

(personal hypothesis => typically, forget-me-nots would be blue, so using pink ones as a pattern for Sholto’s room reinforces the romantic/sentimental symbolism)

So: reminder of an old flame, remembrance of true, albeit forsaken, love.

I will not try to hide my belief that John and Sholto shared an intense relationship. To me, the entire episode establishes James Sholto as John’s former lover, and creates multiple parallels between Sherlock and Sholto. Sherlock’s words “we would never do that to John Watson”, which confirms Sholto’s assertion that they “are similar”, combined with Sholto’s pained expression reflected in a mirror is pretty damning in itself.

Having Sholto surrounded with walls of pink forget-me-nots (as he’s about to die... and will be saved by John) strengthens this implication. Actually, the very first image we see of Sholto is surrounded by this wallpaper (combined with a parallel between Sherlock and Sholto putting their uniform on, going “into battle”). Therefore, it seems both men are assimilated to “old flames”, men who face separation from their loved one as they witness John marring someone else. They both stay loyal to John through this difficult parting (And as the story unfurls, John ends up saving the lives of both men, aka their hearts, in series 3).

***

Incidentally, Sholto is not the only person associated with pink forget-me-nots in series three. Mary wears a pink forget-me-not necklace during the confrontation scene. I already explored the connection between Sholto and Mary via the flower. To sum it up, my belief is that Sholto and John shared an intense relationship, but it left John heart-broken with even more trust issues. To me, through the forget-me-not, Sholto and Mary are linked as two lovers who have betrayed John, his love and his trust, disappointed him and/or left him heart-broken.

Of course, now that TAB came out, we have another association with the forget-me-not: The Bride. “Do not forget me...”. The Bride is strongly linked to Mary (... the bride) and Moriarty. I personally think that we can discard Sholto for this connection (although imagining Sholto in a wedding dress seeking revenge for John’s potential past misbehaviours is quite tempting). Interestingly, it won’t be the only link with Moriarty & Mary in this room.

B) Oak leaves:

In the Victorian language of flowers, oak leaves mean bravery.

The oak is a symbol of strength and endurance. A tree highly revered for its size and longevity. It is also associated with honour, stability and wisdom.

Oak leaves are strongly linked to military traditions. In Antiquity, victorious officers were offered oak-leaf crowns to honour a successful campaign. The tradition extends today, for example with the US army using the oak leaf as a symbol for some of their decoration.

(Also, oaks tend to be very good shelters, such as Major Oak, a large English oak tree, very popular, which is said to have sheltered Robin Hood and his merry men, or Royal Oak, the saviour of King Charles II)

Other interesting associations with oak leaves:

The Royal Float Auxiliary counted two ships named Oakleaf, one of which served as a “dummy battleship” to imitate HSM Iron Duke. This strongly reminded me of John playing the “dummy” for Sherlock in HLV, as well as Sholto’s role in TSOT, mirroring Sherlock’s feelings in a more intense manner.

The oakleaf is a type of butterfly, an insect favoured by Mary (once again). Its wings are shaped like leaves, so there is an implication of hiding, camouflage.

C) Shamrock:

The shamrock is the symbol of Ireland. To me, the obvious association with Ireland found in BBC Sherlock is Moriarty (especially if you consider the waterfall painting). It has been debated whether Moriarty actually planned for Sholto to be killed at John’s wedding, acting as a consulting criminal for Jonathan Small.

The shamrock could represent the fact that Moriarty is looming over the wedding, maybe through his allies: Mary, Tom or Janine?

Additionally, the shamrock is a symbol of the trinity. And I find it incredibly interesting, as it is a concept which is repeatedly associated with the wedding => the engagement ring is a three-stone ring (symbol of the trinity), "my husband is three people", the whole episode is entitled “the sign of three”, which features multiple love triangles (TSOT introduces Sherlock/John/Sholto, John/Sherlock/Janine, Greg/Molly/Tom, and confirms Sherlock/John/Mary). Plus, TSOT presents three love interests of John Watson’s life.

(Personal hypothesis linked with the concept of trinity => in John’s heart, Sholto = faith; Mary = hope; Sherlock = love?)

D)  The wallpaper symbolism

On the wallpaper, we have a pattern of a pink forger-me-not surrounded by oak leaves and crowned with a shamrock.

The pink forger-me-not strongly implies that James Sholto is a former romantic interest of John. Even if the two men are now estranged, John and Sholto still share a connection to this past (the flower is a symbol of remembrance).

Oak leaves surround the flower, which might suggest that the notion of strength/resilience applies to this “remembrance of an old flame” as much as Sholto himself. Obviously the character is strong, resilient, focused on honour and has ties with the military. But it would make sense that the “reminder of an old flame” is very strong for Sholto (and probably John) on this particular day. He’s seeing his former love interest marry another person, is about to die at the wedding if not for the terrible thought of causing John pain. From John’s perspective, the audience witnesses how much of an eager admirer he still is of James Sholto - he speaks of him with similar expressions and fondness as he does for Sherlock, and he seems very enthusiastic, touched even, to see him again.

A shamrock is crowning the pattern (“and honey, you should see me in a crown”). Combined with the waterfall painting and the forget-me-not’s association with the Bride, it hints at Moriarty’s presence around Sholto. However, the shamrock is tiny in comparison to the other elements of the pattern. It may be a sign that Moriarty is involved in Sholto’s attempted murder, but, as we know, he failed. (Since Sholto is Sherlock’s mirror, it might also represent Sherlock’s fear of Moriarty, his other deep anxiety we know of, on this distressing day).

Furthermore, it is striking to observe that this pattern is composed by three elements, one of which is related to the concept of trinity. Once again, the wedding is connected to the number three. It is even more remarkable when you note that in the “saving Sholto” scene, John is surrounded by three persons - or, three love interests -: Sholto, Mary and Sherlock.

The wallpaper pattern could apply to all three of them =>

Sherlock -> Sholto’s mirror. He could be considered an old flame at the wedding, and we see both he and John celebrate (/pre-emptively mourn) their relationship in this episode. Sherlock is strong and resilient, as is his remembrance of the apparently lost romantic bond with John as they have to part. Moriarty and The Bride are looming over him (do not forget them), in connection to this precarious love situation with John.

Mary -> linked with the forget-me-not in HLV. She is strong and resilient. The shamrock might be a sign that Moriarty is looming over her, threatening her wedding and her stability with John; or it could imply that Mary (the bride) is tied to Moriarty (The Bride), maybe working together. I have theorised before that Moriarty and Mary might have been romantically involved, which pairs nicely with the pattern: reminder of an old flame, tied to Ireland, while someone dies at her wedding...

Sholto’s armchair 

Sholto’s armchair is adorned with colourful lotus.

In the Victorian language of flowers, the lotus is a symbol of estranged love. It is rather interesting to note the correlation with the meaning of the forget-me-not. Sholto is already associated with two symbols of old flames, of forsaken/estranged love.

The lotus is also linked with the symbolism of the cycle, as it closes each night and blooms with the daylight. It is tied to the cycle of life/death/rebirth.

I find this idea engaging, as Sholto is between life and death when he sits down in the armchair. He has decided to accept his fate, until Sherlock, his mirror, reminds him the importance of John's feelings. It is then that Sholto chooses life, effectively going through the whole cycle.

Additionally, I believe that the idea of cycle is quite relevant in an episode which introduces John's successive love interests (Sholto, Sherlock, Mary) and presents multiple love triangles. Sholto is the oldest intense relation we know from John's life. But his position in John's heart belongs to the past: after a traumatic event (John being shot in Afghanistan, or perhaps a traumatic break up), Sholto left room to another man in an armchair (Sherlock), followed by Mary after another traumatic event (Sherlock's "death"). We know Mary's position in John's heart will change due to a traumatic event (Mary shooting Sherlock - or, depending on how you see things, Mary's death) (I had written this before s4 xD). The triumphant relationship presented in the episode is doomed to fail. The cycle will continue.

The lotus is also a symbol of purity and spirituality.

In a spirit of comprehensiveness: the lotus also makes me think of the Black Lotus in TBB. I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it if not for the other ties to Moriarty in the room.

Saving Sholto - flowers in the corridor

A) The yellow flowers in the staircase

We only see this flower when our heroes are striving to save Sholto, a scene when the connections between Sherlock and Sholto are more explicit than ever.

I believe the yellow flowers in the staircase to be yellow acacia (also known as mimosa). In the Victorian language of flowers, the yellow acacia is a symbol of “secret love”;  the acacia in general being associated with concealed love.

Once again, we observe that Sholto is linked with the concept of love. It becomes a pattern that this love is concealed, secret, forsaken, estranged. I think it’s rather telling about John and Sholto’s relationship. These flowers hint at a secret love shared in the past, now estranged (as we know from their exchanges; John hasn’t seen where Sholto lives and so on).

Also interesting: in this scene, Sherlock and Sholto are linked more explicitly than ever. Thus to me, this idea of concealed, secret love, now forsaken, extends to John and Sherlock’s relationship. As a matter of fact, it is the heart of the episode that Sherlock has to let John go and witness as he marries another person. The concept of a secret love he has to give up makes sense.

On a more positive note, I’ve learned that acacia blossoms can mean “beauty in retirement”, which I find quite satisfying as regards to Sholto’s future (as well as Sherlock and John’s? Growing old in Sussex, producing acacia honey...).

(I am pretty sure the yellow flowers are acacia, but in a spirit of fairness: they might be goldenrods? Goldenrods mean “be cautious” -> which would also tie well with the spirit of the scene.. and, I would argue, the wedding. It also delivers a message of encouragement -> and we indeed see John and Sherlock encouraging Sholto to choose life)

B) The flower painting

Looming behind our trio, we see a painting with flowers. These flowers are, I believe, sunflowers. This is the second time sunflowers are seen in TSOT: Molly's dress has a pattern with this flower.

The sunflower is a symbol of admiration, appreciation and loyalty. Look at them radiating behind John as he’s about to save Sholto :)

Of course, sunflowers are a representation of the sun; as we know, John is strongly associated with the sun in the show.

Just like the lotus, the sunflower is linked to the notion of cycles. It reinforces the idea of the life/death/rebirth cycle which Sholto is going through in this scene.

I would also argue that, as Sholto chooses life, we can see the renewal of these two’s past affection and relationship. John’s words, "I believe I am your doctor", remind me of the first assertion of his position in Sherlock’s life from the pilot "I'm his doctor/Only a fool argues with his doctor". New beginnings. It is, I think, a strong assertion of affection for John and Sholto (and Sherlock recognises it). Sholto states he is “in need of medical attention”, of John’s attention, and John provides it, highlighting that he is his doctor. He ends up saving Sholto’s heart.

(Side note: it is extremely gratifying to see John fully embraced and celebrated as a doctor, both by Sholto and Sherlock in his speech; especially considering that he previously had to fight for recognition as a doctor in front of Major Reed. John’s identity as a doctor is paramount to him, and you can see how painful it is for him when this part of him is attacked). ((Now consider the “are you really a doctor????” scene from TLD))

Other side note: the sunflower was Oscar Wilde’s favourite flower. I don’t think it’s particularly relevant to the scene, but it’s always nice to point out.

Maybe more relevant to this scene => in Greek mythology, after losing her beloved Apollo (= the Sun God), who abandoned her for another woman, the water nymph Clytie mourned his departure, refusing food or water. After 9 days, she transformed into a sunflower, keeping her face longingly turned towards the sun to see her beloved’s course. Again, the myth is a painful reminder to Sherlock’s situation. The man has to see his beloved (the Sun, aka John) abandon him for another woman (Mary). When John finds Sherlock again, he is in a drug den, longingly hoping for John’s return.

Conclusion: Sholto and flowers

When one analyses the flowers associated with Sholto, a pattern seems to emerge:

Sholto as a character is connected to positive notions => bravery, strength, resilience, fondness, adoration...

A number of flowers are associated with the concept of love. This love is secret, concealed, forsaken, estranged. I find it extremely telling about John’s relationship with James Sholto. To me, it is a sign that the two were involved romantically, most probably in a secret affair. At the very least, they both had romantic feelings for each other and kept it silent. The flowery subtext makes it clear to me that James Sholto is a lost love from John’s past.

There are a few ties with the notion of cycle. It makes sense to Sholto’s journey as he faces death, then revival. Additionally, it is also linked with the idea of John and Sholto reaffirming their bond and connecting once more (“I am your doctor”), especially in a room full of forget-me-nots -> remembrance, reconnection to the past. To me, the notion of cycle also implies the cycle of John’s loves -> Sholto from the past, Mary in the present, but the cycle will continue.

Sholto and Sherlock are mirrors, which means that the flowery subtext which applies to Sholto also applies to Sherlock. Remembrance of a past flame, staying loyal through hardships, secret love, eventual reconnection...

There are hints that Moriarty looms over Sholto at the wedding.

Pink forget-me-nots link Sholto and Mary in the confrontation scene -> remembrance of past loves. Potentially hinting at a betrayal of John’s trust on James’ part? Or maybe his sense of emotional safety broken by James?

Feel free to share your thoughts/remarks on the subject with me! And never hesitate to correct me on the identification of flowers: it is not my speciality, so even if I do my research, I might get things wrong.

And as always: take care. Sending you warm, flowery thoughts!

tagging a few lovely people who might be interested in this piece => @sarahthecoat, @fivefeetfangirl, @tremendousdetectivetheorist, @isitandwonder​

[alltheworldsinmyhead]

my predictions for a court of silver flames (and the book 5)

since i’ve just forced myself to re-read acofas, i emerge now with head clear and heart full of utter dismay for feysand bullshit. this novella is pretty good at setting up a ton of hints for the next book, so at least there’s that. here are some of the plot points/character arcs which i think are worth to keep in mind before reading acosf, especially for those who finished reading acowar and acofas a while ago. 

MOR

Mor is going on a journey to the Continent as a Night Court ambassador, possibly with Azriel. I don’t know to which extent this escapade will be described, but it will definitely happen and it will be important for both of them - Mor especially. My personal opinion is that the toxic triangle in which she’s tangled up with Cass and Az will meet its sad end in this book, due to many reasons such as Cassian;s relationship with Nesta, Az’s growing interest in Elain and, hopefully, Mor’s own growth as a person or her new romance. I also think that Mor’s relationship with her father will be a major plotpoint and the Court of Nightmare will play a BIG role either in this book or in the next one. Also-

ERIS

Eris will take the throne from Beron in acosf. I will be shocked if he doesn’t. Possibly the reprecussions of this event  will be discussed in the next book. Also possibly, there may be some kind of coup that will result in killing more than one High Lord (yes, I am thinking about Helion)

ELAIN

I’m sorry, but I literally cannot see it any other way - Elain will deny the mating bond with Lucien. The hints for this are scattered all over acofas. She doesn’t want it and she is not, in any freaking way, interested in him nor she is even interested in being interested. I think she’ll also get some opportunities to show more of her character and, hopefully, Mass will finally let her utilize her powers in some sensible way, but this might be saved for the next book. 

TAMLIN

Lucien warned Feyre they will need Tamlin as an ally ‘before the dust settles’. I am half-tempted to make an assumption that Tam will die in acosf, but it’s not based on any evidence, so it’s just my personal theory. Regardless, I do believe the destruction of the Spring Court will fucking bite half of Feyre’s ass in the following books and Tamlin either redeems himself (whether or not he should redeem himself when he is already in such a pitiful state is another question) or truly become a villian of the series. The one thing acofas hammered in my head is that his story with Feyre is far from over. 

LUCIEN

My fucking heart bleeds for him. My prediction is that he will cut all the ties with the Night Court, if he did not already done it after Feyre was an absolute bitch to him in acofas. I am also like 80% sure that Helion will die and Lucien will inherit the Day Court, thus getting a permanent place to call home, just as he has always wanted (but absolutely not IN A WAY he has wanted). Besides that, I am only praying for Mass to grant him some fucking happiness. i have no doubt that his relationship with Vassa and Jurian will be discussed in more details, if not, I am rioting. 

AZRIEL

There are a couple of issues Azriel will have to deal with in this and the following book:

a) his doomed relationship with Mor,

b) his blooming romance/friendship with Elain, 

c) his Illyrian identity.

I do think acosf will be a begining of some longer journey for him. Based on the snippets, I think we can also expect a lot of interactions between him and Nesta and I am so fucking excited for it that I can barely contain it.

Also, I subscribe to the theory that Az’s mom lives in the misterious Rosehall and that we will meet her soon. 

FEYRE AND RHYSAND

They are basically the same person at this point, let’s be honest.

Rhys will contine to be horny 24/7 and Feyre will continue to focus on small, non-important stuff instead of the actual business of ruling and managing the court, and they will both remain to be terribly self-involved - 

okay, enough of my bitterness.

I HOPE Feyre won’t be pregnant in the next book, but let’s be honest, it will probably happen rather soon, so, there’s that. From the snippet of acosf in acofas, it seems that they will have some disagreement about Nesta and I am all for it. Besides that, I think their personal arcs and journeys are over and I believe that there won’t be too much of them in the next books. Same with Amren - I don’t think she will play a big role, besides being an awesome secondary character. 

NESTA’S and CASSIAN’s arcs seem to be rather obvious, unless Sarah will somehow break our necks with the narrative 180 degrees spin. I think the biggest mistery is whether or not they are truly mates but, regardless of that, they will end acosf as a couple. Personally, I don’t belive Cassian will die in this book. Sarah is pretty allergic to killing her protagonists in a permanent way. Given that he has already suffered two major injuries throughout the series, I am inclined to belive that it’s time for Cassian to give in to fury over injured Nesta. In my book, there are two possible routes for them to get together:

1) a lot of angsty, heart-breaking hate sex slowly transforming into comraderie, friendship and, finally, romance, 

2) no sex, only angsty misunderstandings and sexual frustration strong enough to push them into romantic relationship fairly quickly which then results in more misunderstandings, wrong ideas about each other’s feelings and a whole fucking mess of feelings. 

Nesta and Emerie will, in 1000% meet and become friends as Nesta truly fucking needs her own found-faimily type of friends. She will also discover and develop her powers, learn to manage her emotions and to have healthy relationships with people whom she loves. 

Cassian will have a somehow similar arc as Feyre in acomaf, during which he will realize his own true potential and self-worth. 

Some plotlines I expect to happen:

ILLYRIAN UPRISING

I think it’s rather unavoidable at the point and it will come as a surprise to no one. I also think Devlon may turn out to be an unexpected ally. 

RIFT IN THE INNER CIRCLE

This one is something which I hope for, cause it would make so much sense, but I am quite apprehensive to make any definite statements about it. If Cassian and Nesta are to get together in acosf, I cannot see it happening in a way which will not disrupt the delicate balance of the inner circle given a) Nesta’s relationship with Rhys and b) Cassian’s with Mor. In general, I do believe Cassian;s arc will be about gaining confidence in himself and his own feelings and insticts, which will involve some separation from his friends. Also, the downfall of Az-Mor-Cass simply cannot be executed bloodlessly.

ANCIENT POWERS RISING

Feyre toyed with the very fabric of this universe. It has to have some kind of consequences. At this point, we know Koshei will make an appearance (in regards to Vassa), Bryaxis is still on the loose (and Feyre has still not fullfilled her bargain) AND we got an interesting scene of Mor sensing something evil luring in the forests around her estate in acofas. 

and last but not least-

WE WILL LEARN WHAT WAS IN THE FUCKING BOX

please feel free to add your own predictions and expectations! I’m sure i missed a lot of stuff 

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Ultimate Note thoughts, part 3

As promised: analysis of the iron triangle’s different side combinations. This is also me thinking out loud about characters in planning my Leverage AU (which is a go, I decided) so any additional insights/corrections/clarifications would be greatly appreciated!!

Discussing the Iron Triangle’s Different Dynamics: “and they were tomb raiders. Oh my god, they were tomb raiders.”

Wu Xie and Pangzi: Tianzhen and Fatty

This bond is one of the sweetest and most well-developed bonds I’ve ever seen. I had mixed feelings about parts of Sound of the Providence, but one thing they got right was that Wu Xie and Pangzi have been platonically married for decades at that point and the love is still strong. These are two people who can banter about nothing and enjoy each other’s company. In Ultimate Note, Pangzi is given more emotional range and we get to see his thoughts on Wu Xie multiple times when puppy is unconscious/missing and in peril/yikes there should be a Wu family discount for therapy. What’s really beautiful between the two of them is that they see each other for their real selves and think those real selves are awesome and worthwhile people, warts and all. Pangzi knows Wu Xie is at once obsessively driven in his goals and fundamentally naive about those same goals; “Tianzhen” is probably a mild curse as often as it is a loving pet name. But he still shows up to help and support him in those goals. The scene where Wu Xie insists on waiting for Xiao Ge under the jade meteor thingy is a good indicator of this dynamic; despite being the one to make a rule that they will leave once the bottle under a slowly dripping rock is full, Pangzi silently pours out the filled bottle multiple times as Wu Xie sleeps. It’s also such a lovely and quiet moment to show how much they both worry over Xiao Ge together, although Pangzi, true to form, covers up a lot of his negative feelings in order to soothe and distract Wu Xie.

Pangzi and Xiao Ge: the official “Wu Xie Adoration/Defense/Commiseration/Smack Some Sense into Him” squad leaders

It’s a good touch that at the start of this adventure, both Pangzi and Xiao Ge have things going on that exist outside of Wu Xie: they both take on jobs for the same raid and deliberately do not involve Wu Xie (now that I think about it, it does kind of make sense that Wu Xie is upset at first that he is always playing catch-up with their plans, he gets enough of that with his own family. Like, *we* know there’s a good reason for their actions, but professor puppy does not).

The show does make it clear that their squad has Wu Xie at its core, and these two definitely have nights after bad raids where they (mostly Pangzi) sit with a drink and discuss management of their mutual disasterbebe. A perfect example of their system is the scene where Wu Xie cuts his hand and stubbornly ignores Pangzi; our guy takes an immediate shortcut by loudly telling Xiao Ge that Wu Xie is “being stubborn again” at which point the Man in Black gently but firmly manhandles Wu Xie into getting a bandaid over the cut (the frustrated tenderness in Xiao Ge’s face as he gazes at Wu Xie for a half second cut is just beautiful). And it’s clear that this is a regular situation: if one of them can’t get through with usual tactics, they reassess and get the other one involved. However, we do get to see that Pangzi’s protectiveness extends now to Xiao Ge, and the sweetness of those cuddles when emokitty is sick on their way out of the desert are just cute as hell and show it’s not just Wu Xie that Xiao Ge trusts with his vulnerability. It’s a far cry from their early dynamic in the Lost Tomb of “wanna fight bitch I can take you.” Pangzi is Xiao Ge’s caretaker post-amnesia (the little name tag with if-found-please-return is both cute and heartbreaking) and juggles his different roles like a pro. I really want to return to an analysis of Pangzi as caretaker in another post sometime.

Xiao Ge and Wu Xie: *cue epic music of the “Prioritize and Rescue the Damsel” Theme*

This relationship…look.

Like I said before on (checks notes) that one post or whatever, it’s a beautiful romance. And I don’t particularly care (lying through my teeth) that it’s not ever openly acknowledged throughout the series (except in asides by Pangzi and Hei Yangjing, trolls extraordinaire who ran out of fucks to give three tombs ago), because as with most things for these two, words are less important than actions. Even in other series, like Wu Xie’s ten-year devoted widow period where we find out he can access something only accessible by Zhang family members, he constantly drops hints as to a great loss that has defined his life—his single-minded devotion to Xiao Ge is Wu Xie’s double-edged sword. Every series does a great job with the long gazes at each other—somehow for that time, it seems like it is just the two of them in that moment, even if we know their third-twentieth wheels are waiting awkwardly nearby. An important part of their dynamic is that Xiao Ge always, always protects Wu Xie when he is able to, even if it’s just to stop him from tripping a little on some rocks (I think this might also be why their relationship is so revered? Like, who doesn’t want the assurance of an unconditionally loving sexy swordsman in black who has been known to disappear but who will come to your aid in moments of need—WAIT IS THEIR ROMANCE JUST CONSTANT REITERATIONS OF THE PRINCESS BRIDE???). But we also see how Wu Xie protects Xiao Ge, consistently checking in with him and making sure he is treated as a person and not a tool; it must be confusing to outsiders to see the well-known “Tomb-Raiding Train-wreck Twink” (no I don’t accept constructive criticism on this) fussing over what appears to be a stoic superhuman warrior’s physical and emotional needs. Any period of separation or sight of the other in pain brings out Wu Xie’s best sad puppy eyes and Xiao Ge’s most prominent micro-expressions (I think we can all agree Xiao Ge’s face had the most dialogue during that weird-snake-egg saga), and I just love how their relationship develops over the series, from suspicious puppy with abandonment issues to a calmer sense of “he’s gonna do what he’s gonna do, but he will come back.”

[tsunfucker]

The End of Evangelion [Theatrical Trailer]

(Screen text:  So, everybody just go and die...)

Staff (in Japanese alphabetical order)

Random women's voices: You don't really know if it's love until after the infatuation stops. Men just want a mother figure who'll spoil them. Men...You doit with them once and they think they own you. Ritsuko? Yeah, that's okay,too. You'll be sorry for that. That's not romantic in the least. Men are all scum... Don't think I'm going to forgive you!

----------------------------------------- TITLE SCREEN:  THE END OF EVANGELION Neon Genesis Evangelion Cinema Edition - Air/Sincerely Yours  (My Pure Heart For You) -----------------------------------------

(Screen text:  Then, why are you here?) (Screen text:  ...Is it okay for me to be here?) -----------------------------------------

Premiering July 19 (Sat.) Advance tickets including original poster on sale. General admission: 1500 yen     Students: 1200 yen Created by the EVA Production Committee (Project EVA) Distributed by Toei Studios, Inc. This film is animated. -----------------------------------------

TITLE SCREEN:  THE END OF EVANGELION Neon Genesis Evangelion Cinema Edition - Air/Sincerely Yours (My Pure Heart For You) Premiering July 19 (Sat.) Created by the EVA Production Committee (Project EVA) Distributed by Toei Studios, Inc. -----------------------------------------

Toei Studios, Inc. logo in triangle

Eirin (Eiga Rinri Kitei Kanri Iinkai = Motion Picture Code of Ethics Committee) registration in circle

(Vertical screen text:  Neon Genesis Evangelion Cinema Edition)

The End of Evangelion Episode 25: Air/Love is destructive. :Translated Script

OPENING SCENE Shinji stands silently before the lake created by the explosion of EVA-00, triggered by Rei in episode number 23, which also destroyed Tokyo-3.

SCENE:  Hospital - 1st Cranial Nerve Department Shinji in Asuka's hospital room (No. 303), Asuka lying in bed -----------------------------------

Background announcement: Sections 2 and 3 of the East Wing will close at 6 p.m. today. Staff are requested to finish all work by 4: 30 p.m.

Shinji: I... I'm scared of both Misato and Ayanami... Help me... Help me, Asuka. Hey... Wake up! Come on... Wake up! Come on... Hey... Asuka... Asuka... ASUKA!! Help me... Help me... Help me... Help me... Help me! Call me an idiot like usual! HEY!!

(Shinji shakes Asuka roughly so that she rolls onto her back... Her hospital gown opens to reveal her naked except for her underwear... Shinji locks the door to the sickroom and his breathing gradually becomes faster and heavier ending with a muffled grunt (off screen). He stares down at the ejaculated fluids covering his right hand.)

I... I'm scum...

----------------------------------- TITLE SCREEN:  Episode 25 - Air -----------------------------------

SCENE:  NERV Command Center- Makoto, Shigeru and Maya talk as they sit in the dark and drink coffee. -----------------------------------

Maya (off screen): What!?  Total prohibition of access to and from Headquarters!?

Makoto (off screen): I guess we're still at First Level Alert...

Maya (off screen): Why?  Wasn't Kaworu* the last angel?  (*Literally: "that boy")

Shigeru: That's right.  All the angels have been destroyed.

Makoto: Isn't there supposed to be peace now?

Maya: Then, what'll happen to NERV? and the Evas? I wish Dr. Akagi was here...

Shigeru: NERV will probably be disbanded, and who knows what'll happen to us.

Makoto (off screen): We'll just have to stick it out until the Instrumentality Project starts.

SCENE:  Misato in her car - turnout overlooking the new lake (Tokyo-3) -----------------------------------

Misato (to herself): Having reached its limit as a colony of flawed and separate entities, Humankind is to be artificially evolved into a perfect single being. The Instrumentality Project... An ideal world... And to achieve this the Committee plans to use not Adam or NERV, but Eva. Just like Kaji predicted.

SCENE:  SEELE monoliths - Gendo and Fuyutsuki -----------------------------------

SEELE 01 (Keel): The promised time has come. With the Lance of Longinus now lost, complementation using Lilith is impossible. Our only hope is to proceed with EVA-01, Lilith's sole clone.

Gendo: While different from SEELE's scenario...

Fuyutsuki: Humans have existed to create Eva.  (ambiguous)

Gendo: Humans should evolve into a new world.  That is the purpose of the Eva series.

SEELE 09: We have no intention of giving up our human forms simply to enter the Ark called Eva.

SEELE 12: It is merely a rite of passage... To bring about the rebirth in those who are imprisoned.

SEELE 05(?): The fate of destruction is also the joy of rebirth.

SEELE 04(?): A sacrament to unite God, humans, and all other life forms in death.

Gendo: Death gives birth to nothing.

SEELE 01 (Keel): Then death is what you shall have.

(SEELE monoliths disappear)

Fuyutsuki: Humans exist because they have the will to live... And that is the reason she remained within Eva.

SCENE:  Rei lying in bed in her apartment.  She wakes up (looking surprisingly like Yui), looks out the window to see the full moon illuminating the night sky, and leaves.  Gendo's glasses lie twisted and broken on the floor behind her. -----------------------------------

SCENE:  Shinji lying awake in his room with his headphones on The tape counter reads 00:00:00 and the battery indicator flashes empty. -----------------------------------

SCENE:  The new lake (The ruins of Tokyo-3) -----------------------------------

SCENE:  NERV Computer Room Misato hacks into the system using a laptop computer. -----------------------------------

Misato: So, this is the truth behind Second Impact... (Screen flashes and alarm sounds) Have they noticed me!? No, that's not it! It's starting!

SCENE:  NERV Command Center Alarms sound... emergency indicators light... -----------------------------------

NERV operator (background - male): No. 6 net - audio communications severed! Goura ground circuit, inoperative!

Fuyutsuki (to phone): Switch the left side over to blue emergency communications! Use the satellites if you have to!  That's right! What's the situation on the right?

Person on Phone: Negative!  All outgoing network and data lines are being cut off!!

Fuyutsuki: Are they after MAGI?

Shigeru (off screen): Data entry from all external nodes. (on screen) They're hacking the MAGI system!

Fuyutsuki: Just as I thought.  Is it coming from MAGI-2 in Matsushiro (Tokyo-2)?

Shigeru: No, it's at least 5 MAGI type units. Hacking verified from Germany, China, the U.S....

Fuyutsuki: SEELE is mustering all of their forces.  5 to 1 odds... Not good.

Shigeru (off screen): No. 4 firewall breached!

Makoto: Locking the main database... Negative! We can't stop their invasion!

Maya (off screen): It's entering a deeper level! (on screen) Even the back-up circuit can't stop it!

Fuyutsuki (thinking): This is bad... Capture the MAGI system and you capture everything.

SCENE:  Ritsuko in her cell -----------------------------------

Background announcement: General Quarters: Second Level Alert!  Repeat - General Quarters: Second Level Alert!

(Cell door opens)

Background announcement(cont'd): All personnel report to designated posts at once.

Ritsuko: I know... MAGI's self-defense system.

Security staff at door: Yes.  Lt. Ibuki at the No. 2 Command Center has the details.

Ritsuko: Even an abandoned woman has her uses... How egotistical.

SCENE:  Misato approaching Command Center with phone -----------------------------------

Background announcement: Second Level Alert currently in effect!  All B-floor non-combat personnel evacuate at once.

Misato: Status report?

Makoto (on phone): Hyuga here.  Tokyo-2 has just issued Special Order A-801!

Misato: 801?

Makoto (on phone): That's right.  Abolishment of special legal protection for NERV and transfer of all command to the government of Japan.

(Elevator door closes)

(NERV Command Center - Maya and Makoto)

Makoto: It's an ultimatum... Yes, and MAGI is being hacked.  Things aren't looking good.

Maya: Ibuki here. Dr. Akagi has just begun protective countermeasures.

(Misato appears on elevator)

Misato: Ritsuko!?

(Ritsuko inside MAGI)

Ritsuko: (thinking) Am I acting foolish?  Men and women are so illogical... (speaking) Isn't that right?  (reaches up to Casper) Mother...

(NERV Command Center)

NERV operator (male): Goura ground circuit recovery rate up to 0.2%

Misato: How much longer?

NERV operator (female): No. 3 cable, Hakone back-up circuit still inoperative.

Makoto (off screen): We should just make it. Dr. Akagi is amazing, one more minute to the end of page 120... And only two-and-a-half more minutes until deployment of a primary firewall.

Misato (thinking): Just hacking MAGI? They're not going to let us off that easy... probably.

Fuyutsuki: MAGI is only the first skirmish. The bastards' objective is the direct take-over of headquarters and the two remaining Eva units.

Gendo: Yes.  With not only Lilith, but even Adam in our hands....

Fuyutsuki: No wonder the old men are so worried.

(MAGI displays turn green)

Maya: Hacking against MAGI has been stopped. (off screen) A Danang Type-B defense screen has been deployed. External access is impossible for the next 62 hours.

(Ritsuko emerges from MAGI)

Ritsuko: See you in a bit, mother.

SCENE:  SEELE monoliths -----------------------------------

SEELE 06: Ikari has executed a Type-666 protection program on the MAGI system. It won't be easy to breach.

SEELE 07: It appears that we will have to forego acquisition of MAGI.

SEELE 01: I had hoped to solve this peacefully, but that is not possible now. Take over the entire headquarters directly, at once!!

SCENE:  Road by the lake - JSSDF officer with military phone -----------------------------------

JSSDF officer: Commence operations as planned.

(Soldiers pop up... aircraft fly... tanks and missiles fire... all hell breaks loose)

SCENE:  NERV Command Center Alarms sound... Screens go blank... -----------------------------------

NERV operator (female): Radar sites 8 to 17 have gone dead!

Shigeru (off screen): JSSDF tech battalion advancing through Goura defense perimeter!

Makoto (off screen): Two battalions approaching from Gotemba!

NERV operators (background): Three air squadrons confirmed approaching from Mishima. Close down Futagoyama and Komagatake routes at once! Invasion through Goura 2nd defense perimeter point A...  Currently engaging enemy.

Fuyutsuki: It seems that man's ultimate enemy is also man.

Gendo: General quarters.  Go to First Level Battle Stations.

Maya: Battle Stations!? (whispered) But the enemy isn't an Angel... They're human like us.

Makoto (whispered): But they don't think that way.

SCENE:  Outside NERV War scenes... NERV guard stabbed in back... Gates open and alarm sounds -----------------------------------

NERV Soldier: Hey, what's going on? Hello!?

NERV Lieutenant: What's going on?

NERV Soldier: The south hub-station...

(Truck explodes... Black suited troops move in.)

SCENE:  NERV Command Center - More alarms... -----------------------------------

NERV operators (male): Daigatake tunnel cut off! Fire at West No. 5 freight entrance! Invading forces have entered Level 1! (female):  South hub station off-line!

Misato: The forces attacking the west side are a decoy! If their real target is the Evas, they'll be going after the pilots! Have Shinji stand by at EVA-01, quickly!

Makoto: Affirmative!

Misato: Where's Asuka?

Shigeru: In sickroom 303.

(Shot of Asuka lying in bed)

Misato (off screen): Put her into EVA-02 anyway.

Maya: But her synchronization with Eva hasn't recovered yet.

Misato: Yes, but she'll definitely be killed if she stays there. The best place to hide her is inside EVA-02.

Maya: Affirmative! (to headset) Stop medication to pilot.  Prepare for launch!

Misato: As soon as Asuka is inside EVA-02, hide it in the underground lake. It'll be found almost immediately, but it's better than leaving it in the cage. Where's Rei?

Shigeru: Whereabouts unknown...  Unable to locate!

Misato: She'll be killed. Find her, quickly!

(Rei floating in LCL tank)

(EVA-02 launch)

Makoto: EVA-02 launched via No. 8 route. Stabilize at a depth of 70 meters.

Misato: Launch EVA-01 next! Deploy it inside the Geofront!

Shigeru: Negative! The pilot hasn't arrived yet!

Misato: What!? (Shinji verified on monitor screen) Oh, no....!

Background announcement: Closing all Central Dogma barricades up to Level 2. All non-combat personnel, evacuate via route 87.

(Shots of gates and barricades closing throughout NERV)

(NERV Command Center)

Shigeru (off screen): No. 3 underground barricade destroyed!  Enemy Forces invading Level 2!

Fuyutsuki: The JSSDF have committed almost an entire division... It's only a matter of time before they take us over completely.

Gendo: Dr. Fuyutsuki, take care of things here.

Fuyutsuki: I understand.  Give my regards to Yui.

(Shots of fighting and mayhem)

(NERV Command Center)

NERV operators (male): No response from Group 2! Communication with No. 77 Computer Room negative.

Shigeru: No. 52 monorail destroyed!

Background announcement: Explosion confirmed at No. 3 hub-station.  Numerous dead.  Damage unknown.

Makoto: This is terrible.  Even Angels would be better.

Misato (thinking): It's no surprise... We're not used to killing other humans.

(More shots of death and destruction- female NERV officer drags the body of her comrade down a passage way, only to be struck down by a barrage of bullets from an invading JSSDF soldier)

JSSDF officer: Cut the cables starting with the red ones...

(NERV Command Center)

NERV operator (male): Level 3 Block B invaded!  Defense impossible!

Shigeru (off screen): Enemy also confirmed in Block F!  Main Bypass under crossfire!

Misato: Abandon Levels 1 to 3!  Combat teams, retreat! Release Bakelite into all passages and pipes up to Section 803!

Shigeru: Affirmative!

(Shot of Bakelite being released)

Background announcement: Commence Bakelite injection from Section 703.  30 seconds to completion. Commence Bakelite injection from Section 737.  30 seconds to completion... (continues)

Misato: This should slow them down a bit.

Makoto: Major Katsuragi!  No. 47 route has been cut off... Group 3 is unable to advance! If this continues Shinji will be...!

(Shot of Shinji hiding)

(NERV Command Center)

Misato (off screen): All non-combat personnel avoid close combat. (Misato takes out and loads her pistol) (on screen) The enemy are professionals... If you can't fall back to the Dogma, it's better to surrender. (whispered to Makoto) Sorry, take care of things here.

Makoto: Sure.

SCENE: Outside NERV -----------------------------------

Background: Mt. Futagoyama under control - Seal off Nagao Pass at once! *afirmitive* Visual confirmation of No. 1 Command Center explosion...

JSSDF Division Commander: This is more difficult than expected.

Sub Commander: We never get the easy jobs.

SCENE: NERV Command Center Makoto and Shigeru take out and ready small arms. -----------------------------------

Makoto: This is bad... We were never equipped with full-scale anti-personnel defense systems.

Shigeru: Yeah.  Only counter-terrorist measures at best.

Makoto: If the JSSDF mounts a serious attack, we don't stand a chance.

Shigeru: Come to think of it, the reductions in funding for anti-personnel defense measures probably had this in mind from the beginning.

Makoto: That's entirely possible...

(Explosion in Command Center... Attacking forces move in...)

Background: No. 2 Command Center - Invaders on lower left floor.

Shigeru: (Handing pistol to Maya) Release the safety.

Maya: I... I can't shoot.

Shigeru: Of course you can! Just pretend this is training!

Maya: But I wasn't shooting at people, then!

Shigeru: Idiot! Shoot, or we're going to die!

----------------------------------- TITLE SCREEN - THE END OF EVANGELION EPISODE 25' -  Love is destructive -----------------------------------

SCENE:  Rei, staring into the tank containing the remains of her destroyed counterparts -----------------------------------

Gendo (off screen): Rei... I thought you'd be here. (on screen) The promised time has come. Let's go.

SCENE:  Dead NERV personnel litter the passageway -----------------------------------

1st soldier (off screen): Level 2 completely secured, over.

2nd soldier (on radio): No. 2 Command Center - Still unable to secure original MAGI system. Currently engaging enemy on lower left floor.

JSSDF officer (on radio): Commence heat dissipation procedures on the fifth Malbolgia at once.

(NERV officer raises arms in surrender - JSSDF officer fires a round into his head, places his foot on the body, and fires two more shots.)

JSSDF officer (female): Eva pilots are to be terminated on sight. Unconditional execution of non-combat personnel authorized.

JSSDF officer (on radio): Yanagihara and Shinjo squads, enter lower levels immediately.

(Shinji hiding... and found by three JSSDF soldiers)

Soldier: 3rd pilot found - will proceed to eliminate. (Places barrel of gun against Shinji's forehead) Nothing personal, kid.

(Misato charges in firing to the rescue)

Misato (cynically): Nothing personal here either... (Shoots soldier) Come on...  Let's get to EVA-01.

SCENE:  Misato and Shinji in parking lot- Misato listening to enemy movements on a dead soldier's radio -----------------------------------

JSSDF radio: Yamagishi squad at No. 7 cage, report your status, over. Purple unit secured. No problems with Bakelite infusion. Red unit appears to have been launched... Currently searching for launch route used.

Misato: Damn!  They're trying to prevent physical contact between Shinji and EVA-01. There's no time to lose... Quick, Shinji... (pause)  Do you want to run away, or go to Eva? - Pick one! (Shinji says nothing) -If we stay here we'll die for nothing!

Shinji (whispering): Help me, Asuka... Help me...

Misato (exasperated): Hiding behind a girl at a time like this!? Running from reality... Lying to yourself!? Doing things half-assed is the worst thing you can do! So, stand up!  Stand up!!

Shinji (whispering): No... Let me die.  I don't want to do anything.

Misato (angry): Stop talking like a spoiled brat! You're still alive, aren't you? So, do all you can to keep yourself alive, and then die afterwards!

SCENE:  NERV Command Center The battle continues... -----------------------------------

Fuyutsuki: Forget about here!  Give top priority to isolating the Terminal Dogma!

Makoto: Everything else has been destroyed... Why don't they just blow up the Command Center, too?

Shigeru: I'm sure they'd like to take us out in a single blow, but the original MAGI system is right below us.

Makoto: They want the MAGI system intact, huh?

Shigeru: But we're defenseless against BC (biological and chemical) weaponry. If they use those, we're in trouble.

Makoto: N2 weapons, too...

(As if by coincidence, an N2 warhead drops, opening up the Geofront)

Shigeru: Speak of the devil!

Makoto: Isn't that a bit extreme!?

Fuyutsuki (smirking): Playing a bit rough, aren't we?

(Numerous missiles strike the Geofront directly)

Maya: Why do they want the Evas so badly!?

SCENE:  Misato and Shinji in Misato's car - Scrapped Eva prototypes. -----------------------------------

Misato: They plan to initiate Third Impact - not with Angels, but by using the Eva series. 15 years ago, Second Impact was caused by humans on purpose. (Flashed shot: Second Impact) But that was in order to minimize the damage by returning Adam (flashed image: Giant of Light) to an embryonic state (flashed image: Embryo in attache case)  before the other Angels awoke. (flashed image: graves) Shinji, we humans were born from a being called Lilith, who is the source of life just like Adam.  We are the 18th Angel. (flashed image: DNA) The other Angels are possibilities of what we might have become - humans that gave up human form. (flashed image: Kaworu - Rei) Sadly, we had to reject each other - even though we're all human... Listen, Shinji... You must destroy all of the Eva series.  It's the only way to stay alive.

SCENE:  Office of the Prime Minister of Japan (Sounds of construction in the background) -----------------------------------

Prime Minister: The phone lines have gone dead.

(Screen text:  Nagano Prefecture, New Tokyo-2 Prime Minister's Residence, No. 3 State Office)

Secretary: Yes, sir.  Ballistic warhead impact was confirmed three minutes ago.

Prime Minister: The Instrumentality Project that NERV was secretly researching... Initiating Third Impact to annihilate mankind... The mere thought sends shivers down my spine.

Secretary: Humans must be the only creatures able to despise their own kind.

Prime Minister: All that's left is to take care of the NERV headquarters facilities.

Secretary: Do you want Germany or China to undertake the re-development?

Prime Minister: No - We won't be taken advantage of. Seal it up for 20 years, just like old Tokyo.

SCENE:  Outside in the Geofront. -----------------------------------

1st soldier (on radio): Surface heat receding. High-pressure steam discharges have also subsided.

2nd soldier (on radio): Initial location of all units completed.

JSSDF Sub Commander:: Dogma Level 3 and the purple unit have been secured.

JSSDF Commander:: And the red unit?

Intelligence officer: Found in the underground lake at a depth of 70 meters.  The pilot's status is unknown.

SCENE:  Asuka curled up in the fetal position inside EVA-02 Entry Plug -----------------------------------

Asuka: ...I'm alive...

(Shots of depth charges firing and exploding around EVA-02)

Asuka: (Whispered at first then repeated growing louder and stronger) I don't want to die... I don't want to die... I don't want to die...

(Another voice mixes with Asuka's)

I don't want to die... (You're still alive) I don't want to die... (You mustn't die yet) I don't want to die... (You must live) I don't want to die... (I won't let you die) I don't want to die... (Don't kill me) I don't want to die... (You're still alive) I don't want to die... (I won't let you die yet) I don't want to die... (You must keep living) I don't want to die... (Die for me!) I don't want to die... (You mustn't die yet!) I don't want to die... (Die!) I don't want to die... (You're alive!) I don't want to die... I don't want to DIE!!

(Flashback to Asuka as a child with mother)

Child-Asuka: Mama... So this is where you've been?  Mama!

(Asuka clasps her mother's hand and EVA-02 awakens.)

SCENE:  Geofront lake -> Giant cross-shaped explosion -----------------------------------

1st soldier: What the!?

2nd soldier: Did we get it!?

(EVA-02 emerges and starts fighting)

Asuka (thinking): Mama... Mama! I understand now... The meaning of the AT Field. It's always protecting me!  Always watching over me! (speaking) Always... always together! Mama!

(Misato and Shinji in Misato's car)

Maya (on radio): EVA-02 has activated! Asuka's okay!  She's alive!

Misato: Asuka!?

(Asuka fighting)

JSSDF officer: The cable!  That thing's power cable! Concentrate all fire power on the cable!

(Cable is severed)

Asuka: Shit!! Even without the cable... I still have 12,000 plates of special armor... and my AT Field! I can't lose! Not against you!!

(JSSDF forces are easily beaten by Eva-02 and Asuka)

SCENE:  SEELE monoliths -----------------------------------

SEELE 01: The loathsome Evangelion... Do they stand in our way yet again? It seems that one must fight fire with fire.

SCENE: EVA-05 to -13 released -> Asuka -----------------------------------

Asuka: The Eva series!? They've been completed?

(NERV Command Center)

Fuyutsuki: Deployment of all nine units equipped with the S2 system!? Isn't that a bit excessive? Or, do they plan to initiate it here!!?

(Eva series land)

Misato (on phone): Listen Asuka. You must destroy all of the EVA series. I'll have Shinji there to help assist you soon.  Do your best. (changes lines - to Makoto) We can get to EVA-01 via emergency route No. 20, right?

Makoto (on phone): Affirmative.  We've secured three seperate power sources just in case. As long as you enter within three minutes, you can reach the No. 7 cage directly.

(Misato starts dragging Shinji)

(Asuka in EVA-02)

Asuka: I have to destroy them all? Is she forgetting she's talking to a convalescent? Nine units in three and a half minutes... That works out to only 20 seconds apiece!

(Asuka attacks)

Asuka: Erst! (German: "That's one!")

SCENE:  Misato and Shinji - Emergency Elevator R-10-20 -----------------------------------

Misato: Here it is.

(Shots fire... Misato is hit, but they enter the shaft and the door closes)

1st soldier: They got away...

2nd soldier (to radio): Unable to terminate target. Standing by for orders to pursue...

JSSDF officer (on radio): Negative.  That area is scheduled for demolition. Pull back immediately.

2nd soldier: Yes, sir.

(Misato and Shinji in passageway)

Misato (slumped against wall - labored breathing): Th... That should hold them off... for a while. I'm okay... It's not as serious... as it looks. (staggers to feet and opens gate) There's still power - We can make it.

(Misato pins Shinji against gate)

-Shinji... from here out you're on your own. You have to make the decisions by yourself - without anyone's help.

Shinji: I... I can't do it.  I just can't... I can't pilot Eva if it means I'm going to hurt or even kill other people. I have no right to do that. I thought that piloting Eva was my only choice... But I was just fooling myself. I don't understand anything - I'm not worthy to pilot Eva. There's nothing that I can do for other people! I've done terrible things to Asuka, and even killed Kaworu... There isn't a shred of kindness in me! Only dishonesty and cowardice... If I can only hurt people, then I'd rather not do anything at all!

Misato (angrily): I'm not going to feel sorry for you. If you don't want to be hurt, then just die without doing anything at all!

(Shinji starts crying)

-Crying won't help you now!

(Misato's tone becomes gentler)

-You hate yourself, right? That's why you hurt other people... Because you know that hurting other people is more painful than hurting yourself. But, no matter what happens, remember that it was your decision. And that makes it worthwhile, Shinji - Because you decided by yourself! So stop lying to yourself... Think about what you can do... And then live with your decisions.

Shinji: But you're... you're not me! You don't understand anything about ME!!

(Misato slams Shinji against the gate)

Misato (harshly): So what if I'm not you!? Are you just going to give up now!? If you stay here and do nothing, I won't forgive you! I'll NEVER forgive you!!

(Misato's tone changes to desperation)

-Nobody's perfect. You realize that you've made a mistake, and then regret it... That's all I've ever known. Nothing but empty happiness and hating myself. But... I feel like I always grew from the experience!

Misato (gently): Listen, Shinji. Pilot Eva once more and find yourself. Pilot Eva to face the questions "Why did you come here?" "Why are you here?" Find your own answers. And then... after finding yourself... come back to me.

(Misato places her cross in Shinji's hand)

Misato: It's a promise. Now, go.

(Misato kisses Shinji deeply)

Misato(sultry voice): That's a grownup kiss. We'll do the rest when you get back...

(Misato pushes the stunned Shinji into the elevator and then collapses)

Misato (weakly): If I knew it would end this way... I would've done like Asuka said... And changed the carpet... Right, Pen-pen? Kaji... did I do all right?

(A ghostly Rei stands above Misato, then an explosion -> Shinji crying in elevator.  Looking at Misato's blood spattered cross and tasting her blood in his mouth, Shinji slides into the corner, sobbing.)

SCENE:  Asuka fighting Eva series -----------------------------------

(Shinji standing in front of EVA-01 encased in solidified Bakelite)

Asuka (on speaker): Jeeez!  Don't they ever stop!? And I can't even count on that idiot Shinji!!

SCENE:  Terminal Dogma - Gendo, Rei and Lilith - Ritsuko sitting at edge of LCL pool -----------------------------------

Ritsuko: I've been waiting for you.

(Ritsuko stands and draws a gun... Asuka fighting... Back to Ritsuko)

Ritsuko: I'm sorry... I secretly altered MAGI's program earlier. A daughter's final request... Mother... die with me.

(Ritsuko presses something in her pocket, but nothing happens.)

Ritsuko: It didn't activate?  Why!? (Pulls portable terminal from pocket - Casper-3: Rejected)

(gasp) Betrayed by Casper! How could you, Mother?  Choosing your man over your own daughter...

(Gendo draws his gun)

Gendo: Ritsuko Akagi, I truly... (Gendo's lips move, but you can't hear him.)

Ritsuko (surprised, but then smiles): ... Liar....

(Gendo shoots Ritsuko, who falls back into the pool of LCL before a ghostly Rei.)

SCENE:  NERV Command Center The battle rages on - Maya monitors EVA-02 via laptop computer -----------------------------------

Makoto: What's happening outside?

Maya: Less than a minute before EVA-02 reaches its operational limit! At this rate, Asuka will...!

(Asuka fighting the Eva series)

Asuka: I can't lose!

(Shinji sitting in front of EVA-01)

Asuka (on speaker): Not with Mama watching me!

Shinji: Mama... Mother?

(Back to Asuka fighting)

Asuka: These are the last ones!

(As Asuka finishes off the last Evas, one of the Eva series' swords comes flying at her... She stops it with her AT Field, but it turns into the Lance of Longinus)

Asuka: The Lance of Longinus!?

(The Lance pierces the AT Field, then EVA-02's head... Asuka shrieks and EVA-02 powers down... Asuka clutches futilely at the controls)

(NERV Command Center)

Maya: Internal power source depleted... Operational limit reached.  EVA-02... down. What!?  The destroyed... Eva series!?

(Eva series reactivates)

Maya: The Eva series have reactivated!

Shigeru: Are they're going to finish her off!?

(Eva series flock over EVA-02  and rip it apart like carrion birds)

Makoto: What's happening?

Maya: (gagging)  I can't look!  I... I can't watch anymore!

(Maya's laptop shows EVA-02's body display blanking out piece by piece.)

Makoto: This is...?  EVA-02!?

(Geofront, where EVA-02 is being ripped apart)

Asuka (snarling): I'll kill you... Kill... kill... kill you... Kill... I'll kill you... I'll kill you all... (repeated)

(EVA-02 attempts to reactivate)

(NERV Command Center)

Makoto: Berserker?

Maya: Asuka!  Stop!!

Asuka: Kill you all... I'll kill you... I'll kill you all... (repeated)

(Asuka's arm splits in two as a Lance of Longinus splits EVA-02's arm - Eva series impale EVA-02 with their lances)

(Maya gasps - Shinji sitting in front of EVA-01)

Maya (on speaker - screaming): Shinji!!  EVA-02!  Asuka!  Asuka... she's...!

Shinji: But I can't pilot Eva...  There's nothing I can do...

(EVA-01 breaks free from the Bakelite and clutches at Shinji)

Shinji: Mother!?

(Terminal Dogma - Rei and Gendo)

Gendo: Has EVA-01 finally awakened?

(NERV headquarters pyramid explodes upwards in a giant cross which turns into wings - EVA-01  appears howling in the Geofront with a demon's face and a set of wings)

JSSDF Sub Commander: Evangelion Unit One?

JSSDF Commander: It's the devil himself!!

(Shinji subdued inside EVA-01 entry plug)

Shinji: Asuka...

(Shinji sees the mangled remains of EVA-02 and screams)

Shinji: AHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(Screen text:  To be continued )

-Episode 25 End Credits spiraling in helix with end theme, Thanatos: If I Can't Be Yours)

The End of Evangelion Episode 26:  Sincerely Yours/I need you. :Translated Script

Screen text: I wish to express my deepest thanks to all the staff, cast, friends and especially the five young ladies who helped to bring this picture to its conclusion once again.

                                                                   Thank you,                                                                           Hideaki Anno

Red Cross w/ black text- THE END OF EVANGELION ----------------------------------- SCENE:  Terminal Dogma - Gendo and Rei before Lilith -----------------------------------

Gendo: Adam and I are now as one... For this is the only way to be with Yui again. The forbidden joining of Adam and Lilith.

(Rei's arm falls off)

There's no time... Your AT Field can no longer hold your shape. Let's begin, Rei. Release your AT Field, the barrier of your heart. Complement your imperfect heart, leave your useless body... Merge all souls into one. And then, take me to Yui's side.

(Gendo places his hand on Rei's left breast and begins to merge with her)

(Rei cringes as waves of pleasure course through her body, a small gasp escapes her lips.)

----------------------------------- TITLE SCREEN: Episode 26 - Sincerely Yours  (My Pure Heart For You) -----------------------------------

(EVA-01 in Geofront - Shinji subdued inside EVA-01 entry plug)

Shinji: Asuka...

(Shinji sees the mangled remains of EVA-02 and screams)

Shinji: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

(Terminal Dogma - Gendo and Rei)

Rei (startled = unspoken): Ikari...!

(EVA-01 bursts free of its restraining plates and its wings form into a cross)

(The Lance of Longinus pulls free of the moon and flies toward earth as if drawn by EVA-01)

JSSDF Intelligence Officer: Unidentified object approaching at high-speed from the outer atmosphere.

JSSDF Commander: What!?

(NERV Command Center)

Fuyutsuki: No!... Not the Lance of Longinus!?

(The Lance of Longinus stops just short of EVA-01's throat.)

SCENE:  SEELE monoliths -----------------------------------

SEELE 01: At long last our hopes are to be realized.

SEELE 04: The original Lance of Longinus has returned as well.

SEELE 09: While somewhat fewer than planned, it will have to do.

ALL (chanting): Return the Eva series to its rightful form. Evangelize humankind and restore us to our true form. With indiscriminate death and prayers, we return to our original state.

SEELE 01: And let all souls find peace. Now, let the sacrament begin!

(EVA-01 is crucified by the Eva series and lifted upwards)

SCENE:  NERV Command Center -----------------------------------

Makoto: EVA-01 has been captured!

Shigeru: Altitude 12,000 meters! ...and rising!

Fuyutsuki: SEELE bastards...  Do they plan to use EVA-01 as the well of souls!? ¹

(Eva series release EVA-01... Shinji in entry plug with marks on palms)

SCENE:  SEELE monoliths -----------------------------------

SEELE 09?: EVA-01 has been marked with the stigmata (sacred insignia).

All (chanting): To restore the Tree of Life!

SEELE 01: Our servants, the Eva series...

(Keel appears) Their existence has all been for this one moment.

(Eva series move to the positions of the Sephroticum and shine in circles around the cross of EVA-01)

SCENE:  NERV Command Center) -----------------------------------

Shigeru (off screen): The Eva series have opened up their S2 systems!

Makoto (off screen): Dimensional values inverting!  They're going negative! Measurement impossible... Numerical expression invalid!

Fuyutsuki: An anti-AT Field...

(Eva series form into the Sephiroticum (Tree of Life))

Maya: All the data are just like 15 years ago! Then... this really is... The prelude to Third Impact!

SCENE:  Outside NERV -----------------------------------

1st soldier: S2 system level critical!

Background: Abort operations!  All units pull back at once!

2nd soldier: We... We can't maintain molecular attraction any longer!

JSSDF Commander: Mission... failed...

(A massive explosion envelopes the Geofront)

SCENE:  NERV Command Center shaking from the force of the explosion -----------------------------------

Shigeru: Direct impact!  Surface layers melting!

Makoto: Second wave excavating the headquarters periphery!  It's exposing the outer hull!

Background: Main JSSDF force annihilated!

Fuyutsuki: They're just physical shock waves! Set the absorbers to maximum level - It should hold!

(The explosion expands outward from the Geofront, revealing the egg of Lilith: the Black Moon)

SCENE:  SEELE monoliths -----------------------------------

SEELE 08/09: With the Purification of the Red Earth... That bespeaks time eternal...

SEELE 11: First, return the Geofront...

Keel: To its true form.

(Pull-back shot of the Earth and Lilith's Egg)

Fuyutsuki (off screen): The egg of Lilith... the genesis of human life... the Black Moon... We have no desire to return to that empty shell, (on screen) But even that depends on the will of Lilith.

SCENE:  Terminal Dogma -----------------------------------

Gendo: It seems to have begun... Rei, take me to Yui's side.

(Rei's abdomen tightens around Gendo's hand)

Gendo: What!?

(Rei absorbs Adam's embryo along with Gendo's right arm, and rejects Gendo)

Rei: I'm not your doll.

Gendo: Why!?

Rei: Because I'm not you.

(Rei's arm reforms)

Gendo (strained): Rei...! Please! Wait... Rei!

Rei: No.  Ikari is calling me.

Gendo: Rei!

(Rei ascends to Lilith)

Rei: I'm home...

(Screen text:  Welcome back.)

(Rei is absorbed into Lilith... Lilith's heart starts beating... Her legs reform and she descends from the cross... The mask of SEELE falls off and Lillith takes Rei's form)

Gendo: Rei...

SCENE:  NERV Command Center -----------------------------------

Shigeru: Unidentified high-energy source approaching rapidly from Terminal Dogma!

Makoto: AT Field verified!  Analysis pattern blue!!

Maya: It's not... an Angel!?

Makoto: No!  It's... a person!?  It's human!

(Lilith-Rei rises through the Command Center... Lilith-Rei's hand passes through Maya, who shrieks in terror)

(Shinji inside the suspended EVA-01)

Shinji: Damn... Damn... Damn... Damn!

(Lilith-Rei appears)

Shinji: Ayanami...?  Rei...!?

(Shinji screams as Lilith-Rei focuses on EVA-01 and cups it in her hands)

Shinji: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!!

SCENE:  SEELE monoliths -----------------------------------

All (chanting): Evangelion Unit 01's pilot... Complement humankind with your imperfect ego.

Keel: The moment of the Third Retribution has come.

(Eva series form into pattern)

SCENE:  NERV Command Center -----------------------------------

Shigeru: The Eva series' AT Fields are resonating!

Makoto: And amplifying further!

Fuyutsuki: Has the assimilation with Rei begun?

(Eva series take Rei's laughing faces... Shinji/EVA-01 scream and EVA-01's core is exposed... Shinji clutches futilely at the controls)

Shinji: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ASUKA!!! AHHHHHH!!!

Shigeru: Psychograph signal down!

Makoto: Destrado² materializing!

Fuyutsuki: Surely the pilot's ego can't take much more...

SCENE:  Shinji, curled into a ball within Eva-01's entry plug -----------------------------------

Shinji (whimpering): No... No... No... No... No... No...!

Kaworu (off screen): Do you want it to stop?

(Lilith-Kaworu appears)

Shinji: Is that where you've been?  Kaworu?

(Shinji resigns himself to Kaworu's outstretched hands... The Lance of Longinus approaches EVA-01's core)

SCENE:  NERV Command Center -----------------------------------

Shigeru: Solenoid graph inverting!  ego barrier weakening!

Makoto: AT Field shifting to pattern red!

Fuyutsuki: The Fruit of Life possessed by Angels, And the Fruit of Wisdom possessed by humans...

(The Lance penetrates the core and merges with EVA-01 into the Tree of Life)

Fuyutsuki (off screen): Having obtained them both, EVA-01 has become like a God. And now it has been restored to the propagule of souls... the Tree of Life. Will it become the Ark to save humankind from the nothingness of Third Impact? Or the demon that destroys us all? Our future lies in the hands of Ikari's son.

Maya (clutching at Shigeru's sleeve): Did... Did we do the right thing?

Shigeru: How should I know!?

(Lilith-Kaworu transforms into Lilith-Rei with hands cupped around EVA-01)

Yui (voice): This Rei is your heart... Your very hopes and dreams...

Rei (voice): What do you wish for?

SCENE:  Inside Shinji's Mind (In a park - Shinji as a child) -----------------------------------

Shinji (voice): I see... It's just like when I started the cello. I thought that if I came here, I could find something...

Child A: Come on, Shinji!

Child B: Let's build a castle!

Child-Shinji (smiling): Okay.

Child A: Oh, here comes Mama!

Child B: We have to go home now!

Child A: Bye-bye!

Child A and B (laughing): Mama... Mama!

(Shinji builds a pyramid (NERV headquarters) alone, and then destroys it... Crying, he starts to build again)

(Random thought sequence - inside Shinji's mind)

Asuka: Jeeez!  I get so pissed off whenever I look at you!

Shinji: Because I'm like you...?

Child-Asuka (crying): Mama!

Asuka (sleep-talking): Ma... ma...

Shinji (staring at Misato's cross): Mama...?

Misato (voice): I wasn't able to become Shinji's mother after all...

(Kaji's and Misato's college apartment)

Misato: Mmmm, let's do it.

Kaji: Again?  Aren't you supposed to meet your friend at school today?

Misato: Hmm?  Oh yeah, Ritsuko.  It's okay, we still have time...

Kaji: We've been cooped up here for a week now...

Misato: Yeah, but I think I'm getting the hang of it... so come on...

(The lovemaking begins and continues in the background)

Misato: I probably just did this to prove that I existed.

Asuka: How idiotic!  It's just two lonely adults comforting each other.

Ritsuko (precisely): We want to feel needed, even if it's only physical.

Misato: I feel wanted, and that makes me happy.

Asuka: It's just an easy way for you feel that you're worth something.

Shinji (disgusted = thinking): This is Misato?  She does... this?

Misato: Yes, this is also me... The melting into one another's hearts... The me that Shinji doesn't know. Reality does involve pain, but you just have to accept it.

Asuka: Aaahh... I wonder if I'll act like Misato when I grow up?

(Shinji and Asuka in Misato's apartment)

Asuka: Say... wanna kiss?..

Misato: You mustn't!

Asuka: Or are you afraid?

Misato: It's not something kids should do.

Asuka: Okay, here goes...

Asuka: You don't understand anything!  Stay away from me!

Shinji: (Hand twitching) ... I do understand.

Asuka: No you don't, you IDIOT! (Asuka kicks Shinji - Shinji's hand convulses) You really think you understand me!?  You think that you can help me? That is so ARROGANT!  You couldn't possibly understand me!!

Shinji: How can I understand... If you don't say anything? You don't say anything... You don't talk to me... How can I understand you?  It's IMPOSSIBLE!!

Rei: Ikari, did you try to understand?

Shinji (sulking): I tried...

(blue image of Shinji in Asuka's sickroom from 'Air')

Asuka: Idiot!  I 'know' about your jerk-off fantasies of me. Do it again like usual...  I'll even stand here and watch.

(Rei, Asuka and Shinji inside an empty train - Asuka standing over Shinji)

Asuka: If you can't be all mine, then I don't need you!

Shinji: Then, be nice to me...

Asuka/Misato/Rei: We are nice to you.

Shinji: LIARS!!  You're all just hiding behind a smile! You just want to keep things ambiguous!

Rei: Because the truth hurts us all... Because it's very, very distressing.

Shinji: But ambiguity only makes me insecure.³

Rei: That's just an excuse...

Shinji: But it makes me afraid...  Afraid that I won't be needed again someday. It makes me uneasy!  It worries me!  Let me hear your voice! Interact with me!! Care about me!!!

(Shinji and Asuka in Misato's apartment - Asuka sitting dejectedly at table)

Shinji: I want to help you in some way... and to be with you forever.

Asuka: Then, don't do anything. Don't come near me anymore... Because all you ever do is hurt me.

Shinji: Asuka, help me!  You're... you're the only one that can!

Asuka: Liar... (Shinji cringes) To you, anybody will do! (Asuka gets up from table and backs Shinji up against the wall) You're afraid of Misato and the First... and of your mother and father, too!

Shinji: Asuka...

Asuka(cont'd): You're only using me as an escape - because that's the easiest way not to get hurt!

Shinji: Asuka, help me!

Asuka: Because that's the easiest way not to get hurt!

Shinji (desperately): Please, help me!

Asuka (angrily): You've never really liked anyone!

(Asuka shoves Shinji, who crumples to the floor, taking the coffee pot with him)

Asuka (angrily): You're all you have!  But you've never even learned to like yourself!! (staring disdainfully down at Shinji lying helplessly amidst the spilt coffee) How pathetic...

Shinji (weakly - getting to his feet): Help me... Somebody... Somebody help me... Help me... Help me... Me... Help ME!! (throws the table aside) Don't leave me alone!  Don't abandon me!  Don't kill me! (picks up a chair and throws it at Asuka's feet)

Asuka (coldly): ... No...

(Shinji strangles Asuka - Komm Susser Tod (Come Sweet Death) begins to play)

SCENE:  Third Impact (Psychological scene - Flashing, random shots: crayon drawings of death, fish in a bucket under the sun, a dog lying dead on a street, fish head in a jar...) (Flashing screen text: "Evangelism", "Dead Sea Scrolls", "Shito", Various episode titles from the TV series, etc.) -----------------------------------

Shinji: Nobody understands me.

Rei: You didn't understand anything.

Shinji: I thought it was supposed to be a world without unpleasantness... without uncertainity.

Rei: Because you thought that everyone else was like you.

Shinji: Betrayed!  You've betrayed my feelings!!

Rei: You've misunderstood from the start.  You simply assumed without asking.

Shinji: Nobody wants me.  So, everybody just die.

Rei: Then, what are those hands for?

Shinji: Nobody cares whether I exist or not... Nothing will change. So, everybody just die.

Rei: Then, what is that heart for?

Shinji: It'd be better if I wasn't here either.  So I should just die, too.

Rei: Then, why are you here?

(Shinji as a child, crying with a large travel bag next to him)

Shinji: Is it okay for me to be here?

(Screen text:  "Silence")

Shinji (screaming): NOOOOOOOOOOO!!

----------------------------------- SCENE:  NERV Command Center -----------------------------------

Makoto: Pilot's response has infinitely approached zero!

Shigeru: Eva series and Geofront passing through the E layer!  -And still rising!

(Shot of Black Moon rising)

MAGI announcement: Current altitude 220,000 km.  Entering F layer.

Makoto: All Eva units - still active!

Shigeru: The Anti-AT Field from Lilith... it's expanding further!  It's materializing!

(The earth's surface under the Black Moon turns white spreading outwards and Lilith-Rei emerges, cupping the Black Moon in her hands)

Makoto: Anti-AT Field critical limit exceeded!

Shigeru: No...!  If this continues, individual life-forms will be unable to maintain their separate entities!

(Lilith-Rei spreads her wings)

Fuyutsuki: The Chamber of Guf (Hall of Souls) has been unsealed... Has the door to the world's beginning and end finally opened?

(Souls begin to gather around the Black Moon)

(Countless Reis begin to turn people into LCL)

Rei(s): The world is overflowing with sadness. People are surrounded by emptiness... And loneliness has filled their hearts.

(In the Command Center, Makoto is dissolved into LCL by a smiling apparition of Misato... Shigeru dissolves while cowering under the console trying to escape from multiple Reis)

Fuyutsuki (smiling at Yui floating above him like an angel): Ikari, did you finally meet Yui, too?  (dissolves into LCL)

Maya (hands trembling over keyboard): AT Fields... Everyone's AT Fields are disappearing. Is this the answer?  Is this what I was searching for? (Ritsuko appears- quickly types on Maya's laptop) (gasp) Dr. Akagi...!?

Ritsuko: Maya...

Maya: Ritsuko!  Ritsuko!  Ritsuko!  Ritsuko!  Ahh!

(Maya dissolves into LCL - as her dismembered hand flies across the screen, the words "I need you." are visible on the PC display)

SCENE:  SEELE monoliths vanish one after another -----------------------------------

SEELE 01: The beginning and the end are as one. Good... Everything is as it should be...

(Keel appears... and then dissolves into LCL, leaving behind the mechanical remains of his lower body)

SCENE:  Gendo lying on floor in Terminal Dogma -----------------------------------

Gendo: I've been waiting for this moment for so long... To finally be with you again, Yui. When I'm with Shinji, I only hurt him.  So, it's better that I do nothing.

Yui: So, you were afraid of Shinji.

Gendo: I don't believe that I can be loved by others... I'm not worthy of love.

Kaworu: You're just running away.  You simply reject the world before you get hurt.

Yui: Afraid of the shapeless, invisible barriers that separate people...

Rei: You just closed your heart to others.

Gendo: So, this is my retribution.  Forgive me... Shinji.

(Demon-like EVA-01 bites Gendo in half... Rei II picks up Gendo's fallen glasses. The three clones of Rei stand together.)

(Eva series impale their cores on the Lance replicas with gasps of ecstasy... Countless crosses spring up as a red wave speeds across the earth's surface... Souls flow from the Earth to the Black Moon and then into Lilith-Rei's hands... An eye appears in Lilith-Rei's forehead into which the EVA-01/Lance cross plunges itself and disappears...)

SCENE:  Inside Lilith-Rei - Shinji hears laughing voices and sees countless spirit-Reis flowing towards a red core -----------------------------------

Shinji: (gasp)Ayanami... Rei?

(Inside Shinji's mind - Flashing psychological scenes)

Random voices (Asuka, Misato, etc.): I hate you.  I wouldn't be caught dead with you!  Don't get me wrong... Do you really think I could ever like you?  You have nothing to do with my life anymore.  Get away from me!  ... and don't call me anymore! Stubborn bastard...  Don't follow me around anymore.  Your type makes me sick!  I'm sorry...  (laughter)  We're nothing more than friends. Annoying bastard...  Why don't you learn to give up?  There's no way I'd ever go back to you.  I HATE YOU!  Go away!  (laughter)  It'd be better if you'd never been born.  Dammit, get away from me!  I hate you! You're a pain in the ass!  (laughter)

(Asuka's voice) Wimp...

(Shinji, lying on his back)

Misato (over Shinji): If it's that painful, you can stop.

Rei (over Shinji): If you really don't like it, you can run away.

Misato (voice): Do you want to be at ease?  To feel at peace? Do you want to become one with me? To have our bodies and souls... become one.

Asuka (voice): But, if I have to be with you, I'd rather die!

(Empty theater - Jesus Bleibet Meine Freude (Jesus, Joy of Man's Desiring) begins to play... Real-life scenes of urban Tokyo)

Shinji (voice): Hey...

Misato (voice): What?

Shinji (voice): What are dreams?

Misato (voice): Dreams?

Rei: Yes, dreams.

(Packed theater)

(Screen text:  Do you feel good?)

(Three girls standing still in crowd)

Shinji (voice): I don't understand... I don't really understand reality.

Rei (voice): So, you can't understand the gap between other's reality and your own truth.

Shinji (voice): I don't know where to find happiness.

Rei (voice): So, you can only find happiness in your dreams.

(Crowded street- camera focuses on three individuals; dressed as Misato, Rei, and Asuka)

Shinji (voice): Then, this isn't reality... Because no one is here.

Rei (voice): Yes, it's a dream.

Shinji (voice): So, I'm not here either.

Rei (voice): You were trying to remake reality with convenient fantasies.

Shinji (voice): Is that wrong?

Rei (voice): You were using fabrications to escape from reality.

Shinji (voice): Can't I dream alone?

Rei (voice): That would not be a dream.  It would just be compensating for reality.

(Packed theater -> empty theater)

Shinji (voice): Then... where is my dream?

Rei (voice): It is the continuation of reality.

Shinji (voice): Where is... my reality?

Rei (voice): It is at the end of your dream.

(Flashing Japanese text and images)

SCENE:  Blood/LCL gushes from Lilith-Rei's neck as she leans backwards Shinji and Rei merged together in the sea of LCL -----------------------------------

Shinji: Ayanami... where are we?

Rei: This is the sea of LCL... The primordial soup of life. A world without AT Fields... without your own shape. An ambiguous world where it is impossible to tell where you end and other people start. A fragile world where you exist everywhere, and thus exist nowhere.

Shinji: Have I died?

Rei: No, everything has just been joined into one. This is the world you have been hoping for... your world.

Shinji (releasing Misato's cross from his left hand): But... this isn't right.  I don't think this is right.

Rei: If you wish once more for the existence of others, the barriers of the heart will separate everyone once more... And the fear of other people will begin again.

Shinji: That's all right... (disengages Rei from him and clasps her hand) Thank you.

(Shinji and Rei, Shinji's head lying in Rei's lap)

Shinji: I feel that there were only hateful things there. So I'm sure it was okay to run away. But there was nothing good in the place I ran to, either. After all, I didn't exist there... which is the same as no one existing.

Kaworu: Is it okay for AT Fields to hurt you and others once more?

Shinji: I don't mind.  But, what are you two within my heart?

Rei: Hope.  The hope that people might be able to understand one another.

Kaworu: And the words 'I love you'.

Shinji: But that's just pretending - a self-intoxicating belief... like a prayer. It can't possibly last forever. Sooner or later I'll be betrayed... And they'll leave me. Still... I want to meet them again, because I believe my feelings at that time were real.

SCENE:  Shinji rejects Human Instrumentality, Lilith-Rei collapses backwards and her wings vanish... EVA-01 breaks out from Lilith-Rei's eye and grows wings... The Black Moon divides into sections and explodes, showering Lilith-Rei with LCL which falls to Earth and spreads outward...) -----------------------------------

Kaworu: Reality is in an unfamiliar place, and dreams are within reality.

Rei: And the truth is within your heart.

(Lilith-Rei's body begins to fall apart)

Kaworu: For it is the hearts of people that create their appearance.

Rei: And new images will change peoples' hearts and appearances. Images... the power of imagination... The power to create your own future, and to make time flow.

Kaworu: But people must act of their own free will, or nothing will change at all.

Rei: So you must find your lost self on your own... Even if you lose your own words, or become lost in others' words.

(EVA-01 grasps and splits the Lance of Longinus... The Lances impaling the Eva series burst and disappear)

Rei: Anyone can return to human form as long as they can imagine themselves in their own heart.

(The Eva series go silent and fall to Earth... Crosses rise into the heavens)

Yui (voice): Don't worry. All living things have the ability to return to their original form... and the heart to go on living. Anywhere can be heaven as long as you have the will to live. After all, you're alive... and you can find the chance to achieve happiness anywhere.

(Rei appears before the now silent EVA-01... EVA-01, the Lance, and millions of crosses continue to ascend into space)

Yui (voice): As long as the Sun, the Moon and the Earth exist, everything will be all right.

SCENE:  Water drop- Yui caressing Shinji's cheek -----------------------------------

Yui: So, you'll be okay now?

Shinji: I still don't know where to find happiness... But I'll continue to think about whether it's good to be here... whether it was good to have been born. But in the end, it's just realizing the obvious over and over again. Because I am myself.

(Shinji emerges from the sea of LCL... Lilith-Rei's head splits)

Shinji: But mother... what will you do?

(Flashback to 13 years ago - Fuyutsuki, Yui and infant-Shinji)

Fuyutsuki: Humans create Evangelion to copy God... Is this our true goal?

Yui: Yes.  Humans can only live on this planet, but Evangelion can live forever... together with the human soul that dwells within it.

(EVA-01 and the Lance of Longinus float in space)

Even after 5 billion years, when the Earth, the Moon, and even the Sun have disappeared, it will still exist as long as even one person still lives. It will be very lonely, but as long as that one person still lives...

Fuyutsuki: It will be the eternal proof that humankind has existed...

Shinji: Good-bye, mother.

----------------------------------- TITLE SCREEN - THE END OF EVANGELION ONE MORE FINAL: I need you. -----------------------------------

SCENE:  Lilith-Rei's split head... Misato's cross nailed to post... Silent Eva series stand crucified in a LCL ocean... Waves of LCL gently lapping at the shore... Asuka and Shinji lie side by side on the beach... Shinji turns to see Rei standing over the LCL sea - then Rei vanishes... Shinji moves over Asuka begins to strangle her, but with a caress of his cheek, she stops him and he starts sobbing uncontrollably. -----------------------------------

Asuka: How disgusting.

(Screen text: Fin)

-blank screen-

Notes:

1- Literally, "as a medium"

2- Destrado:    According to the theory advocated by E.Weiss, the energy of the self-destructive impulse.    It is the antonym of Libido. Its meaning is different from the energy of "Instinct of Death",    advocated by P. Federn, the master of Moltedor-Weiss.

3- Literally, "pushes me into a corner"

'Ego': The barrier of another or one's self.

"blank screen": In the original Japanese release of the film, after the screen text, 'Fin.' is shown, the screen goes completely black and no ending credits are shown.  Audiences waited in the cinema for around 5 minutes to make sure the film was really over.