#this specific route is more like. a bunch of people from one group all did the same fandom loop

[aroaceleovaldez]

the PJO -> Voltron -> My Hero Academia pipeline is so funny to me. like yeah we all know - you were into PJO, got into VLD in ~2016 when the entire pjo fandom moved over there, and in the last two seasons you jumped to BNHA, right? right. bonus points if you were in Homestuck too. we all know how it goes.

[libraford]

Okay so here's what's going on with the bird crimes.

On thursday I was going to Powers Park when I saw what I thought were 2 chickens hanging out in the parking lot, and a lady watching them from the fence. I thought... they could belong to the lady, but chickens aren't the kind of pet that you just let hang out loose.

I approach.

Lady: "These aren't mine."

I look closer. Its actually 2 roosters, one of which is a very small breed and is missing his tail feathers. Both of them have an injury to their backside- like its been plucked.

So we talk about what to do, I end up calling Animal Control. The actual Animal Control officer doesn't get there until noon, I get a police dispatcher. She says she can send one of the cops to grab them until the actual professional gets there.

I tell her that the roosters are being kept by the woman I met, she's coaxing them into her house.

I post about it on the facebook group in case someone knows who they belong to. The comments are full of jokes, obviously. But no leads. Eventually the big rooster gets caught by someone running a sanctuary for abandoned and abused livestock, but they're still looking for the little black one. Evidently they got out of the lady's backyard and were loose again.

I figure he's going to be a coyote snack and don't think about it for the rest of the week.

So now it is Sunday and I'm opening up the bathrooms. I'm at Summit Grove park and as I'm about to reserve the shelter for a birthday party I see...

A black pigeon.

Pigeons are not a common animal in this area- you're more likely to see house sparrows, crows, and mourning doves. So that's odd. What's more, she doesn't seem to be skittish and is definitely accustomed to humans. And she keeps trying to bite my fingers, so she associates hands with food and she's skinny as a rail so she's been abandoned for a minute.

Why does this keep happening to me? Is this the Morrigan come to teach me a lesson in pigeon form?

So I remember the number of the woman running the sanctuary and I give her a call. I tell her I've got a pigeon here that can't fly, is super hungry, and doesn't seem to have any issues biting fingers. She says she can't take her, but she can find a home for her because pigeons have specific needs. But she won't be able to get there until 12:30. We (my work partner and I) have to deal with the bird in the meantime.

We absolutely cannot take this bird with us on our route because we are in a tiny truck cab and don't have a cat carrier to put her in. So our solution is to lock her in the janitor's closet until the rep can get here.

Around 12:15, we head back to the shelter to make sure she's still there and hasn't been disturbed... and I realize that the reason I even saw her in the first place...

...was because there was supposed to be a birthday party at the shelter at noon.

The party is strongly underway and they have shoved a table against the door of the closet.

The sanctuary lady comes by and waves, we ask the party people politely to move the table slightly because we're trying to rehome a pigeon that's inside that closet.

They move the table, but not all guests see this interaction- because it looks like a bunch of maintenance people are just here to boss folks around during a little girl's birthday party and this draws a crowd.

The sanctuary rep arrives and we open the door just a little bit to let the bird out. She bobbles towards us, hoping for food, when one of the older ladies at the party exclaims:

"Does that ANIMAL just LIVE in there?!"

I mean... sure. For the past few hours, she did live in there.

"Do you have any IDEA how many DISEASES pigeons carry?"

The rep scoops the pigeon into her arms and takes her out of the shelter area to inspect her wings, feet, and back. She shows us her breastbone and explains that its been several days since the bird ate anything, which was why it was going for fingers.

Meanwhile, Aunt Ornithophobia over here: "I can't BELIEVE you would just TOUCH a BIRD like that in front of CHILDREN!"

We take the bird away to the van so the rep can thank us and explain what likely happened- which is that someone abandoned the bird when they couldn't take care of her anymore they just let her loose.

"I understand you got one of the roosters," I said.

"Yes, the big one. But the little bantam rooster is very fast- he darted into someone's backyard and I never found him again. If you see him, give me a call."

"I've been told that chickens are legal to own here, but roosters are not."

She gets an exasperated look on her face. "If you're going to allow backyard chickens, you're going to have to allow roosters. It's impossible to sex an avian chick and they don't get their dimorphic traits until they've reached the young adult stage and chick sellers don't care about whether they're a hen or a rooster. They care about the sale. We get roosters more often than egg-layers because someone sold them a male as a female and they don't want to pay the fine. I'd rather have the laws allow both, or neither. But disallowing roosters is patently stupid."

"Hm. Well. Note to self."

"Anyways, you're heroes to this little rock dove and I want you two to know that. She's going on a trip to a bird sanctuary in Toledo where she'll have lots and lots of snacks to eat that aren't fingers."

[planet4546b]

signoise questions!!! feel free to ignore as many as u want, sorry there are so many i am just very 🙇 (emoji of person leaning on folded arms and looking interested if it doesnt load right- just looked this up and it is actually a person bowing??? i have always parsed it as like a more restrained :eyes: emoji. huh) abt all of the parts its very cool!!!

-decade: have u read the city & the city by china mieville? whatre the inspirations for this if u have any off the top of yr head? was this like a rogue architect (i am thinking of the cartographers without borders post about a flat and level kansas watch out for the 900ft cliff bisecting kansas city post) or was it an official govt project or something?

-twins: i really like the name lariat for a city thats v cool also since theres a bunch of plays, are they all extant in their entireties or is it like a classical texts situation where we have fragmentary records? im really interested in the mixed media part of signoise & how different parts might be told, are u thinking of adding video or audio or anything?

-bell expedition: SO interested in how a caver becomes "disgraced." excited to see a bunch of cave content about the mar.

-pareidolia: a) VERY cool name i love it b) are u going to make the photographs they take?

-pepper's ghost: i dont have a specific q about this one i would just like to register my extreme excitement to see what happens w it.

& i guess just a more general q, do u have a rough idea of what media(s) each story is going to be in? also i am really really liking the name choices youve made for places etc.

i misread bowing as bowling and my confusion about that emoji only grew. but ozzy hi!!! thank you for the questions im gonna try to hit all of them :D

1. i HAVE read the city and the city (really enjoy it) although it ironically inspires a different city on the map (primary and meridian, which is where the playwright stuff mostly takes place). decade’s primary inspiration is pretty explicitly superstudio’s continuous monument, as well as a handful of other postmodern avant- garde architecture concepts, like constant’s new babylon. visually also something like blame, though i have yet to actually read blame i know not by reputation alone. the vibes of it are actually very much that pefectly level kansas post LMAO

decade’s architect is a supercomputer (also known as decade) that produces the plans that the people then construct (also very invisible cities, i’m just blanking on the name of the city itself that’s constantly building). a lot of decade’s story is pure mystery for this reason: how did they build a supercomputer? how and why does it create its plans? what is it building for? why is it that the only records of the city are from decade itself, and next to no records from its citizens exist? what was their form of government, who did decide to build, who led this project? much to uncover!!

2. mairzy finch was a relatively minor playwright during their life, and had one play that really became well known and four or five other less known ones. the bulk of their history is about a massive series of plays that are in fact fragmentary and were all found after their death and are being ‘completed��� and published by almas verrier. so there is a lot of classics to it in how those plays are reconstructed, published, and continually found (and the controversy around all of that), though this is not a project that gains a lot of scholarly attention, its pretty much only verrier and samira that are interested at all.

i would absolutely LOVE to add audio especially to these plays, within my ability as a single creator. although i will likely needle my sibling who used to act to get notes on things like stage and audio design (the entertainment interlude in kentucky route zero is a HUGE inspiration here).

3. quite simply, eric has previously led groups in which multiple members died, and while it is generally understood that that’s a bit of an occupational hazard, the general caving community has concluded those specific deaths could have been avoided if eric was not pushing the group to fuel his own ego. Oops! and glad you’re excited for the cave content because ohohoho so am i!!!!

4. my favorite thing about the name pareidolia is that when i’m researching other things i ALWAYS run into this word and go oh cool and go to its wikipedia page and forget one of the first images on the wikipedia page is a cave formation LOL. and yes i almost definitely will be!! i will at minimum be recreating them via digital art, but i have So many cave photos i can use various ways, and im thinking about getting some cheap ass camera to print physical photos as well. i have in my mind what his most famous photograph is and im so excited to recreate it GAH

5. i’m also SO excited about this one so glad to hear it!!! these two are characters that are close to my heart but have been at the fringes of signoise’s main story for a while, getting to spotlight them is super exciting for me. and there’s some weird late game plot developments with them that are fun. they also are the mechanism for my favorite Samira Realization and a catalyst for her downward spiral. woohoo!

6. the mixed media aspect of signoise is BRAND new and a lot of that i’m still brainstorming to figure out what’s even possible for me to do, but what i do know is the general format for each:

playwright: play scripts and academic papers (possible audio recordings/set plans)

decade: architectural plans, radio transmission transcripts

bell: interviews with bell and everett (god i would love so bad to make and photograph minis for specific cave scenes here)

pareidolia: photographs, research notes (?) i need…something else here but im still figuring out what (largely photo manips and limited animation. hopefully via physical camera)

peppers ghost: radio broadcast transcripts (i have the least wiggle room for other media in here i think, iltheres too much of it to be voice acted via just like dragging in family and friends and it’s pretty limited to radio. but i’ll find something im sure)

and thank you!!! naming things is difficult (the like…7 hours i spent trying to find names for all the new characters. god.) but i have quite a bit of fun with it. i like sounds ^^

[discet]

Was Joe Sparrow planned to show up in the Newtopia Arc, before the Journal was released?

It's interesting to not have him now because our heroes can't easily travel back and forth to one location like in Canon. They have to be a bit more tactical in the route they take. Plus it lets Sasha use the skills she grabbed while being on the road with Yunan, which is fun to see.

In a way this kinda fixes a problem I heard people talk about with Joe. In that, he sort of breaks Amphibia's scale because the characters get to pretty much instant transmission to anywhere in the world. It's a complaint I never agreed but I always found it interesting.

Was Joe Sparrow planned to show up in the Newtopia Arc, before the Journal was released?

He was! I actually had a whole bunch of neat bird lore in my back pocket before the journal came out.

Tamed birds were going to be an extremely rare and valuable resource in Amphibia. They bonded to a rider for life. There was going to be a young starry eyed member of the knight guard who was Joe's rider in the AU. I was going to heavily implied was killed by Andrias in canon to gift Joe to Marcy. (He didn't do the same with Sasha in the AU since in their manipulation game he didn't want to show how important the box was to him.)

Ultimately when the book came out, the idea of there just not being a stable group of flyers simplified a lot of things. It was a lot easier to justify why Sasha and Yunan were on foot.

In a way this kinda fixes a problem I heard people talk about with Joe. In that, he sort of breaks Amphibia's scale because the characters get to pretty much instant transmission to anywhere in the world. It's a complaint I never agreed but I always found it interesting.

Yeah, I don't think that's on Joe, Early season 2 establishes the scale in Amphibia through the road trip to the capital. Joe traveling to the radically different environments in season 2 also establishes how far away they are from the familiar set pieces of Wartwood and Newtopia.

I think 3b really messes with the scale of the setting more than anything. Specifically Root of All Evil, Newts in Tights, and Beginning of the End.

The first two the locations feel increadibly generic and its hard to guess if they are supposed to be in the valley (like most of 3b) or a great distance from the valley, looking abroad for recruits. They seem to be going by cart so how far could they be? From what I recall the dialogue feels like they are far from home, but it doesn't really feel grounded in a place like the road trip episodes from 2a did

The more egregious offesnder though is Beginning of the End. Which, despite being a favorite of mine for the rest of what happens, has the entire resistance army marching, on foot, from their base under the Plantar's house in the valley to just outside the gates of Newtopia in less than a day(You can see the ruined capital behind Andrias's army). This kind of breaks everything since it took Anne and the Plantars what felt like Weeks in Season 2 to get there casually and at least a week to get back with no distractions.

[strawwritesfic]

Hayato Gokudera x Female!OC: White Day Chocolates

Summary: Gokudera can learn to endure anything given the right motivation.

Rating/Warnings: T (Post-Canon; high school!Gokudera; foul language; White Day; chocolates; dinner date request; Namimori Middle School; Namimori Middle Disciplinary Committee)

Relationships: Gokudera/F!OC; F!OC & F!OC; Hibari & F!OC; referenced Tsuna/Kyoko

Tag List: @imaginesfire

Notes: This is a very humble, very fluffy one shot written for my most long-time Internet friend, Selina. We've been buddies since something like 2006, and while our interests vary, we've both recently returned to our love of Reborn, and thus resurrected our old OCs. She draws sketches of my main OC, Daisuke Fukuda, regularly, so I wanted to return the favor and write her a quick one shot to celebrate her main OC, Lin-Mei.

Just a few quick notes to make here without going into lengthy descriptions of Lin-Mei's character:

1. There's is no actual love triangle involving her, Gokudera, and Hibari. Although there are some storylines we follow where she ends up with Hibari instead, in the Gokudera "route," if you will, he's just paranoid about Hibari because he doesn't like him, and Hibari is a smug asshole who won't go out of his way to assure Gokudera that he isn't interested in "stealing" Lin-Mei from him.

2. While Lin-Mei is slightly younger than the main cast, there's not a huge age gap here. My head canon is that Hibari is old enough to be in high school during the main plot of Reborn!, so it stands to reason that Lin-Mei stays a little longer after she takes over the Disciplinary Committee as well.

3. If it matters at all to you, Lin-Mei's flame attribute is lightning. She's more affiliated with the Cavallone than with the Vongola (having been under Dino's care for several years), but she actually belongs to a specific Chinese assassin family and works for hire.

White Day Chocolates

Hayato Gokudera never had enjoyed his walks to Namimori Middle School. What a shitty trek to what was inevitably wasted time learning from teachers that didn't know what they were doing—or have any idea the massive disservice their dumbass lectures did to the great man within their midst! And there were so many obstacles to get to that waste of time, too. If it wasn't Haru cropping up to annoy everyone, it was that stupid cow causing problems. If it wasn't that stupid cow causing problems, it was Yamamoto breathing in the Tenth's general direction. If it wasn't Yamamoto breathing in the Tenth's general direction, it was group after group of girls who couldn't seem to stop giggling whenever they caught sight of Hayato. And while the first three issues weren't cropping up that afternoon, the last aggravation seemed worse than ever before.

"What are they teaching these idiots these days?" he grumbled as the latest bunch all elbowed each other at his approach. When one dared to meet his eyes, he finally snapped, "Don't you have more important things to do?"

His anger only caused them to titter more. Gritting his teeth, Hayato stalked off on his way. Clearly, there was no getting through to girls like that. Even Haru hadn't learned her lesson yet, and now he and she shared the same homeroom!

Soon the tall, faded school building rose above him. Even more girls in navy sweaters walked past him as he neared the gate, but they didn't stop to giggle. These girls were in more of a rush, and the air of nervousness about them was almost palpable. None of them so much as glanced at Hayato when he came to stop to look up at the clock. The positions of its hands told him he'd made it right on time.

He hadn't been back to Namimori in a long time. Why would he bother? Hayato was in high school now. The responsibilities placed on the Vongola Family grew every day, thus the responsibilities placed on the Tenth's right-hand man grew every day as well. Only people with nothing better to do would bother coming to their middle school just to loiter around the place and reminisce about where they had met their friends, held so-called sumo tournaments, and nearly died countless times. But the one person he could think of like that didn't seem to be around right then.

"Hayato! This is a surprise."

A cheerful, girlish voice in his ear made him jump. He turned to level a glare at whoever dared to giggle at his shock—but the girl standing next to him didn't giggle. She simply hid a smile behind her sleeve before clapping both her hands behind her back.

"Sorry," said Lin-Mei. "I just didn't expect to see you here."

The minute Hayato spotted her, the urge to scream had left him. In fact, he couldn't find his voice at all. His stomach felt a little like it did whenever he spotted his sister sans mask, only more pleasant somehow—probably because he could actually appreciate the way Lin-Mei looked. She'd pulled her brown hair up into a sweeping ponytail, and her spotless uniform differed from the rest of the girls' solely by the vivid crimson band pinned to her upper arm. She had earned that armband, too, so Hayato felt more pleased than irritated to see it, despite his distaste for the person that had worn it before her.

Lin-Mei's smile faded a little as she cocked her head to one side. "Hayato?"

"Hey, jackass. She wants to know you're doing here. Besides trespassing, that is."

Much to his chagrin, Hayato started again. He hadn't bothered to pay attention to Lin-Mei's companion, a tall woman with bleached blonde hair and thin eyebrows that looked even older than he was. Probably he'd met this Disciplinary Committee member before; they were always trailing after their leader, after all. But he'd be damned if he went to the trouble of remembering her name now.

"If you don't have a good reason to be here, screw off," the woman went on.

"I—I have a good reason," Hayato managed to blurt out.

"Do you? Then why don't you cough it up?"

"Because it's none of your goddamn business!"

"Any business taking place on Namimori Middle School grounds is the business of the Disciplinary Committee."

"Arisa."

Lin-Mei didn't raise her voice. Hell, she didn't even change her tone. With a single word and a motion of her hand, she shut her second-in-command's mouth. Arisa sent Hayato a look of purest venom, but marched away in silence, He hoped she'd been sentenced to patrol one of the less pleasant corners of the schoolyard—perhaps Ryohei's old haunt. Chances were slim they'd gotten all the sweat stink out of there yet.

"Hayato."

This time, Lin-Mei grasped his wrist as she spoke. This time, he didn't jump. He just looked into her deep brown eyes—and felt vaguely, again, like he was going to throw up in some unimaginably satisfying way.

"What's the matter?" she asked as she released him. "Do you have a message for me from the Tenth?"

"Well —"

"You know we'll do whatever he needs, me and the girls."

"Right. But —"

"I don't have to tell them who the order comes from if that's what you're worried about. I'll be discrete."

"I didn't come on behalf of the Tenth!"

Why the hell did that take so much effort to spit out? Hayato wasn't a coward, and Lin-Mei absolutely was not his sister or anything like her. He ought to have been able to come in, say what he had to say, and move on. If Yamamoto asked him how things went later—and he certainly would just to spite Hayato—Hayato was not going to tell the Baseball Idiot that he'd chickened out.

"Okay," Lin-Mei said slowly. When he didn't launch at once into an explanation of why he'd come, then, she went on, "Then what gives? I will have to punish you for trespassing if you don't really have a good reason for being here."

Hibari would be pleased. Hayato knew she meant it when she said it, too. Before he could make an even bigger fool of himself then he already had, he screwed up his eyes and said:

"It's March 14th."

Of the whole host of reactions he had expected to result from this proclamation, last on the last was a blink and a curious, "What?"

"It's March 14th," he said again through gritted teeth. "Valentine’s Day was a month ago."

"And?"

The most infuriating thing about this conversation was that Lin-Mei wasn't attempting to raise his blood pressure. She obviously did not understand what Hayato was trying to say. And since he'd come this far, he didn't want to walk away now.

"And I came by...to bring you...some chocolates."

With this last ludicrous confession out of the way, he produced the box he'd been carrying around in his school bag. Lin-Mei's eyes went wide. She gazed at Hayato with open astonishment.

"But Hayato, I didn't give you any chocolates for Valentine's Day."

"I know!" He shoved some hair from his face, hardly noticing when Lin-Mei lifted the box lid to examine the chocolates inside. "I just walked in on the Tenth making some for Kyoko last night, and Reborn was there, and he kept going on and on about the importance of White Day, and how Hibari would understand it, and if the whole chocolate-giving thing worked for the Tenth, it would definitely work for Hibari, and...and...I don't know! I just panicked!"

Lin-Mei swallowed a mouthful of chocolate before stating, "Hibari hasn't given me any White Day chocolate."

"He-he hasn't?"

"No." She pulled the box from his grip and took a bite of another piece of chocolate. "But did you really think a package of store-bought candy would have put you over the top if he had?"

"As though I could cook anything without Bianchi getting into it when she found out who I was making it for," Hayato muttered. Lin-Mei stare made him squirm. How could she just stand there mowing through the chocolates without saying anything? Before she could polish the whole damn thing off and be on her way, he took a deep breath and barreled forward: "That's why there's a part two."

"Part two?"

"Ye-Yeah. I also wanted to know if you'd...if you'd come to dinner with me tonight."

Lin-Mei said nothing. He fixed his eyes on his shoes and did not look up. The minutes crawled passed with nothing to break them up except for her continued chewing. At last, he could take it no longer. He risked glancing upward to see her reaction. Was she gawking at him, shocked that someone like Hayato would do something like ask her out? Was she bright red with embarrassment because he'd confused her signals? No. She really was just steadily eating her way through the box, though she paused long enough to ask:

"Can we talk about the latest post on Mysterious Universe over dinner?"

He could hardly believe his luck, or the fact that her question made him grin fit to put Yamamoto's usual expression to shame. "Of course!"

"It's a date!" Lin-Mei shoved the remains of her gift back into his hands. "But we'll have to go later. I already promised Arisa that we'd go over some budgetary concerns after patrol this afternoon."

Well, that sucked some of the buoyancy out of his grin. But he didn't dare try to talk her out of her Disciplinary Committee duties. He knew from experience that would only end badly for him. "Am I allowed to wait here?" he asked. Facing Yamamoto or the Tenth after this would be a nightmare. Better to put that off as long as possible.

Maybe she understood that, because Lin-Mei appeared to consider his request for a moment. Then she said, "Only if you promise not to smoke on school grounds."

It was the same tone she'd used on Arisa earlier. And just as Arisa knew better than to argue, so did he. "Fine."

Her final smile caused the butterflies from earlier to surge back into his stomach. Hayato thought the sensation couldn't get worse until she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Before he could recover—hell, before he could even string two coherent thoughts together—Lin-Mei turned on her heel, looked at him over her shoulder, and fluttered her fingers in his direction.

"See you later, Hayato. Happy White Day!"

She was gone in a flash, leaving Hayato standing at the school gate and holding a half-empty box of chocolates, probably looking like the biggest moron in the world (and given his competition solely in the Vongola Family, that was saying something). A few straggling students leaving their approved after-school clubs laughed as they walked by him. He found he didn't care. As he settled against a wall to wait for Lin-Mei to return, he thought to himself that he would endure every agony of walking to Namimori every day, giggling girls and all, if it meant getting to see her smile...and to pull the rug out from underneath Hibari's feet.

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Moment In Time

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: Just when you've gotten out, you’re given a reason to come back.

Warnings: Nothing for now unless I missed something.

Chapter 1

* * * * * * *

Music plays in your ears as the surrounding area blurs past you. Taking yet another lap around the overly large fountain, you feel the smallest drop of sweat trickle down the side of your head.

Running for two and a half hours seems to finally be yielding results.

You slow down some and a quiet, sarcastic, chuckle falls from your lips when another group of joggers passes by. They’d gotten here an hour ago and they were practically dripping sweat.

With a shake of your head you finish the lap in a matter of minutes, stopping afterwards and taking your headphones out. You take a few deep breaths as you look around.

The New York sky is as blue as it always is this time of year. People stroll by about a yard from where you stand, the streets and sidewalks bustling as usual, a few other runners on the same trail you just took.

A contented sigh leaves your lips.

For the first time in years, a calm peace washes over you. It’d taken you years to come to the decision to stop working, followed by a few months to mentally settle into your “retirement” as you’d been told it was.

The world doesn’t exactly need you anymore, earth’s mightiest heroes are doing all the saving and protecting now. Some of them you trust with your life while others you haven’t even met. All in all, you believe they’ve been getting the job done fairly well. Which made your retirement all the more easy.

If not working feels like this, you take another deep breath, you could get used to it.

Adjusting your headphones back into your ears, you barely jog three feet into your next lap when your phone rings. Fishing it out of your pocket, you sigh at the name displayed at the top and answer.

“Agent Y/Ln,” Fury’s voice floats into your ears,“ I need a favor.”

Just like that, you get the feeling you aren’t going to have the chance to get used to retirement.

* * * * * * *

Another uniformed guard walks by, his eyes glancing over at the two people in the cell, before he continues his leisure stroll down the hall.

The brunette archer runs his tongue across his bottom lip, eyes narrowing just barely before yet another pebble flicks across the cell and bounces off the wall right beside the ear of an already agitated ex-assassin.

“Barton, I swear to god if another rock comes within a foot of my face I will kill you before these morons even have the chance to consider it.” Natasha seethes, jaw clenching in frustration.

Clint snorts to hold in a laugh, raising his hands in surrender.“ My bad.”

Sighing heavily for the millionth time today, Natasha leans her head back against the cement wall, fingers gingerly running over the uncomfortable matching cement floor.

“You sure you don’t wanna play finger football with me?” He asks, flicking a triangular piece of paper towards his friend.

“Clint what the h-” she glares from him to the paper then back,“ where did you even get that?”

Letting his amused smile show, he answers,“ my pocket,” with a casual shrug,“ never know when you’re gonna get captured by psychotic evil German scientists.”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, the red head holds in every noise of frustration and foul word in her arsenal. She already can’t believe she allowed herself to get captured, Clint’s incessantly childish behavior is only adding to her bad mood.

A mere eight hours ago she’d been on a very easy mission with her team. Infiltration and intel gathering was a form of work she was overly familiar with, having done it before and during her time with SHIELD and the Avengers.

But with a new recruit on the team, and this having been his first infiltration mission, figuratively communicative wires got crossed.

A simple “payload secure” came across as something different in Sam’s ears, what he heard she can’t even try to guess, but it led to him coming her way with a shit load of guards. Disgruntled sounds of fighting drew Clint to their location but even then the amount of enemies was overwhelming.

Distress calls were cut short and staticy through the short communication devices they had. So, being the only one with a clear and easy route out of the chaos, Sam was given the task to get out while he could and to send back up.

The seconds after he left, Natasha and Clint were taken, blinded, stripped of their weapons and comms, and brought to this cell.

While they were aware of the rescue coming for them, they still looked for a way out but found none. Especially not with the rotation of guards that patrolled by every half hour. Like clockwork, another was headed their way.

The whistling of an all too American song rang through the halls, slipping into the cell and grabbing the attention of both agents.

Clint’s eyebrows pinch together when the guard stops in front of the cell, then turns to face them. His calculating gaze trails over their body while an equally observant Natasha looks as well.

She stares at the guard, a stone cold expression masking her face as she commits your appearance to memory. Your eyes, hair, the build of your body currently clad in the same blue uniform as the other guards. Something was different though.

While the guards came off as exactly what they are, lackeys for whoever is running this show, you are much bigger. The look on your face isn’t as submissive and blank as the others.

Clint scoffs, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, eyes scanning over you,“ what’re you? A new hire?” He asks sarcastically, deciding to speak as he knows Natasha won’t say a word.“ Send you in to intimidate us?”

A silent moment passes.

“Buddy, you think I’m the bad guy?” You tilt your head with a raised eyebrow. A little chuckle leaves your lips at the confused expression he pulls and the one Natasha tries to hide.

Taking a step closer to the cage, you slip your arms between the cast iron bars and lace your fingers together.“ I’m here to save your asses. Since you went and got yourselves captured.”

For the first time Natasha speaks, a velvety soft voice flowing from the cement box into your ears,“ who sent you?”

Her green eyes look into yours and that, coupled with her voice, intrigues you even more. Seeing as you are more than aware of who Black Widow is. But you know now isn’t the time to fall into a gay panic over a gorgeous woman.

“Fury.” You answer,“ it’s not often Nick calls in a favor so I had to come. Now, let’s say we get out of here yeah?” They both watch as you grab hold of the bars, pulling one good time, arms flexing as you easily break the lock and send the door sliding open and slamming into the wall.

Clint and Natasha share a look as you step inside, walking over to Clint and breaking his chains first, then going to do the same to Natasha.

You raise an eyebrow at her expression after breaking the first chain,“ listen red, you don’t have to trust me.” She stands up and looks down at you, until you rise up and look down at her.“ But you do need to trust Fury. Got any complaints, take it up with him after you’re not surrounded by a bunch of lunatics with guns.”

With that she watches you exit the cell, looking left and right, then waving them forward as you go left down the corridor.

The two agents follow you as you silently incapacitate every guard in your path, sharing a look for the third time today.

As you’re taking down your tenth guard, Clint looks from you to Natasha.“ Are we really supposed to believe they’re on our side? Cause,” he takes a deep breath and releases it.

“They’re trusted by Fury.” Natasha looks at her friend,“ and that’s all I need to know for now.”

Stopping in front of a door, you peek through the glass, then take a step back. You square your shoulders and adjust the cap on your head, smiling dazzlingly at the two.

“Do me a favor, wait around that corner,” you point to the opposite side of them where a dark empty pocket sits in the hallway,“ and try not to get captured again.” You wink and step into the room without another word.

They stare at the door you disappeared into, long enough to hear you speak.

“Wo sind die Gefangenen in Zelle 4 hingegangen?”

Natasha understood your words perfectly fine but Clint was a little lost. The short silence followed your continued shout of,“ Finde sie! Jetzt! Eile!”

Eyes wide Natasha grabs Clint’s hand and pulls them into the dark just before a slew of guards pour out of the room and down the same way you’d all just come from.

Clint and Natasha barely have a chance to blink before the door beside them opens. Sunlight streams through the door, followed by you coming out of the room.

“Figured you might want these back,” you say as you stop in front of them and hold their confiscated weapons out to them.

Clint is quick to sling his quiver around his shoulders, extending his bow and hugging it, a quiet ‘I missed you’ muttered under his breath toward the inanimate object.

A snort of a laugh leaves your lips before Natasha takes her batons from you and holsters them at her sides.

Taking your cap off, you toss it aside and smooth your hand through your hair.“ Cover was blown about thirty seconds ago so,” you nod to the outside,“ let’s get to that fancy jet you’ve got a few miles out before the fireworks start.”

Flashing another confident smirk, you slip out the door. The two agents follow closely behind you. All three of you work almost flawlessly in taking down the guards in your path to the jet.

It comes into view and you stop to let them run ahead of you, turning to look at the building as it seemingly spontaneously combusts in three specific locations.

Satisfied with your work, you nod and turn around. Almost all eyes are on you as you jog up the ramp into the jet. A silent crunch is heard before you toss crumpled plastic and wires out of your hand.

“Can’t have them tracing that back to us.” You say, stepping fully into the jet and looking around as the door closes behind you.

Stern blue eyes stare into yours, an almost upset march carrying him to stand in front of you.“ If there’s anyone alive.” He says angrily.“ Did you stop to think how many people you may have just killed?”

Your eyebrow quirks up at his tone of voice. Trailing your eyes down his body you mentally purse your lips and nod. Admittedly you could see why Peggy was so smitten. Assuming he didn’t take this type of attitude with her.

However you can’t say you’re taken with the Captain America. His already condescending attitude wasn’t something you liked and while you know it’s a possibility he’s just this way cause you don’t know each other, it’s also possible he’s just an ass. Either way he isn’t why you’re here.

“Captain,” you nod,“ always thought our first meeting would be more pleasant than this. But aye, they say you’re never supposed to meet your idols right.” You shrug and step around him, making to head to the front of the jet.

Only his hand grips your arm and he spins you around with a glare now on his flawless looking face.

Glancing down at the offending hand on your arm, you figure he’s nonverbally demanding an explanation so you give it.“ There were charges at both entrances and the security room. I made sure to send everyone away from those areas before I blew it up. There may be some minor injuries, if that. But next time I’ll just leave and give them every opportunity to come after us, Captain.” You tell him, gripping his hand in yours and prying it from your arm.

His glare turns to a slight look of surprise. While his grip hadn’t been enough to hurt an ordinary human, yours was equal to, if not potentially stronger, than his true strength. Enough force to have broken anyone else’s hand in multiple places.

“Who are you?” He asks, maintaining his attitude.

Not one for dealing with that, you mumble your name to him and go to the front of the jet.

Your blank face morphs into a smile at the sight of the man in the pilot's seat.“ Never was one to give up control huh?” You ask teasingly as you drop your hand on his shoulder.

His gaze lands on you with a quick snap of his head towards you. The smirk on your face and the fact that it was actually you, made him snicker.

Making quick work of throwing the jet on autopilot, he moved his chair back and stood up to pull you into a hug, to the shock and surprise of every member of his team.

“Good to see you T.” You pat his back before pulling away.

A smile tugs on his lips and he nods.“ Ditto. This doesn’t count by the way.” He points a finger at you as you clap your hand on his shoulder.

“It definitely counts. A save is a save. Might not have been you exactly but-”

Waving you off he mumbles,“ yeah yeah.” Then looks at his teammates, his arm wrapping around your shoulders despite the height difference.“ I take it you met the team.” He says to which you nod.

“Can’t say they’re all that fond of me.” You chuckle softly, eyes scanning over the still agitated Captain America, a man in a modified flight suit, and the two people you just saved.“ Are they always so annoyed when they get their asses saved or is it me?”

Tony shrugs,“ Capsicle always been a little icy.” He jokes and you laugh, shaking your head and pushing him away from you.“ Nat is- well she’s Nat. I think she’s starting to warm up to me but that’s taken quite a bit of time hasn’t it Romanoff?”

His gaze directs to the redhead and you follow it. Your eyebrow raises at the mocking smile she gives Tony followed by her asking,“ who exactly is Y/n and how do you know each other?”

Both you and Tony glance at each other and you take the liberty of answering her question. Speaking to her directly gives you the chance to truly look into her green eyes, which you must admit you find very beautiful.

A range of emotions flicker over everyone’s faces as you dip your toe into your long complicated past. You simplify your back story, only telling them that you met Tony his family, that you’re a super soldier, created after Steve went into the ice, and that you’ve been a part of SHIELD for a while.

There were many questions thrown your way and you heavily debated with yourself whether or not you wanted to tell them everything. You didn’t think it’d hurt to be a little mysterious. But there’s also the thought that you won’t be seeing these people much anyway so does it truly matter if they know who you are.

Whatever decision you’d come to ceased to matter as the jet landed. The door opened and your eyes raised to read the words written across the top of the building.

“Avengers?” You mumble, glancing at your long time friend/brother. He makes that face, that “what’re you gonna do” nonchalant face Tony always makes. With a shake of your head, you follow him inside, but instead of going with him towards the hallway, you b-line for the elevators.

Tony’s voice calls out to you, effectively grabbing the attention of his teammates,“ not joinin us Y/nn?”

You look back over towards him, your eyes landing on Natasha’s green ones first then on Tony. Smiling a little you shake your head,“ debriefing isn’t for retirees, Stark.”

Natasha frowns at your words and Tony shakes his head with a breathy chuckle.

All of you turn away from each other, them heading to the meeting room and you facing the elevator as the doors slide open.

“Agent, glad you could stick around for the debrief.” Fury says, making you frown and shake your head.

“No no,” you raise a finger, essentially telling him to hold up.“ I’m not an agent. Retired, remember.”

He stops walking to look back at you. Tilting his head, he raises his eyebrow,“ that was until today. I believe you did some work, seeing as Natasha and Clint are back.”

A heavy sigh leaves your lips and you drop your head, groaning lowly,“ Nick please. You know-”

“That you’re on your way to the meeting room. Glad to hear it.” Leaving no more room to talk, he turns and walks away, breezing past the few Avengers who’d stayed behind to watch the interaction.

Grumbling under your breath, you follow after the man. Tony slaps his hand onto your shoulder, a small amused smirk on his lips as he guides you to the meeting room.

With a, in your opinion, justified glare directed at Fury, you plop down into a chair. The man snorts at the huff you let out, averting his eyes to everyone else who comes in.

To your surprise and silent pleasure, Natasha ends up occupying the chair on your other side. When her eyes land on you, you give a small smile and wiggle your fingers in a short wave.

Her eyes narrow at you and you wink. She just barely lifts a brow at the way your face morphs from one of amusement to a no nonsense expression.

You straighten up in your seat, fingers lacing together and resting on the table as your gaze focuses on Fury.

Natasha finds it a bit of a struggle to take her eyes off of you. Since the second she saw you back in Berlin she hasn’t been able to get a clear read on you.

“Romanoff, can I have your attention?” Fury tilts his head and looks directly into Natasha’s eyes.“ Or is that too much to ask?” His tone takes a sassy turn and the redhead rolls her eyes, focusing on him.

The debriefing goes exactly how everyone is used to it going. They go over the original objective of the mission, then everyone gives a run down of what happened: the part they played, how they contributed to the objective, and in this case how things went south.

“Y/Ln,” Fury says, making Natasha’s gaze snap over to you. Had you been looking at her, you would’ve seen the surprise flicker through those green orbs.

“Director,” you nod in reply before going into detail about your infiltration into the German base and the extraction of Natasha and Clint.

All while you talk, Natasha looks at you. You, Agent Y/n Y/Ln. She can’t believe she didn’t connect the dots. Fury sent you in. You’d told her your name. She should’ve seen it. Everyone at SHIELD knows who you are. A lot of people outside of SHIELD know about you as well.

Your explanation of who you were in the quinjet wasn’t even the tip of the iceberg. She didn’t think this often of someone but: you are a legend.

“- things considered,” Natasha regains focus on the conversation, looking away from you to Fury as you speak,“ the mission could’ve gone off flawlessly.”

The man crosses his arms and shifts his weight,“ and what would you say the problem is Agent?”

“Underestimation sir. Or maybe misinformation.” Your response is a bit of a shock to everyone. You take their silence as an opportunity to further explain. You thought it was simple.

The mission was to grab intel from a science lab. As to be expected, the scientists and information there would be guarded. The underestimation or misinformation came in how heavily guarded the place was. Whatever surveillance or recon they had done wasn’t enough. So when they went in to collect they were overwhelmed or caught off guard which resulted in Natasha’s and Clint’s capture.

Everyone takes your words in stride, majority of them processing it and storing it for a time in which they’ll need to use it.

Shortly after that the debriefing ends with a few, what you know is meant to be taken as, encouraging words from Fury. Everyone stands after he’s left, starting to file out.

Once again as you make to leave, Tony stops you. He slaps your arm and you know he’d used as much force as he could behind the action.

Used to this from him, you sigh and shake your head, a small amused smirk on your lips as you look at him.“ What is it now Tony?”

He smiles at you,“ why don’t you hang out for a bit. Haven’t seen the tower yet.” You raise your eyebrow at him, gaze flicking to the redhead that walks past behind him, her eyes on you for a second before she looks away. Smile turning into a smirk he adds,“ you might just find a reason to stick around.”

* * * * * * *

Taglist: @owloftheshadows @natasha-danvers @yumusak-yastik

[write-orflight]

Settle Down: Prologue

**Gif Not Mine**

Prev -  Next

Pairings: SpencerXReader (kinda enemies to lovers) 

Rating: M

Words: 2.5K

Warnings: None, will be smut in eventual chapters

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: Y/N and Spencer don’t get along but turn to each other for the one thing you need someone else for... A baby. You can plantonically start a family, right?

A.N: this is a bad bio but idk how else to put it. it’s a baby fic! I wouldn’t say this is enemies to lovers but they certainly don’t like each other at first so it kinda is. comment on this chap or message to be on the taglist. much love, Cia

                Prologue:  A Powerpoint, Really? 

If you had told 16 year old Y/N that she’d be working at the FBI, she would’ve called you batshit. 

Not only, did you not have any respect for authority or any inclination for rules in that matter, working for the FBI was never in the forefront of your mind. But when given the option of Jail or a full time job with benefits, it was fairly easy to make a choice. You remember the first day when you met your work partner and now best friend Penelope Garcia or specifically the day she caught you. 

You were waiting tables like you did every weekend to stay afloat. Today was unreasonably slow so you were just finding small things to do. That’s when she came in, an extremely brightly dressed woman, sat at the bar of the diner. 

“Hi, how can I help you?” You smile at the woman who looks up at you and smiles. 

“Yes, I’m looking for the Emerald City.” She says, smirking at you. Your face drops, you knew what she was talking about. 

When you started hacking it was only supposed to be a one time thing. You grew up poor, spent most of your life poor so when you saw your childhood home was set to be demolished to build a fancy new headquarters for Scotty Realins, an upcoming asshole tech CEO, without a cent going to your parents.  Something in you snapped. You had already been pretty decent at code and you flirted with a couple of guys in your STEM classes to learn how to hack so you would say you were pretty good at this point. So you hacked into the website and made sure all the Revenue for that day actually was wired to lower-income housing. At the end of the day, it was only a couple hundred thousand dollars but what was pennies to Scotty Realins changed some people's lives. 

So you started doing it more, to different companies under the pseudonym OZ. The money always went to different places that needed it whether it was paying the rent for a bunch of families or anonymous large donations to food banks or soup kitchens. You gained a bit of fame in the hacker community as a modern day Robin Hood. 

All good things come to an end though. And the end was standing in front of you in clunky, rainbow colored jewelry. 

“You don’t look like a cop.” you say, crossing your arms. 

“I’ll do you one better.” She says, pulling her FBI badge out, showing it to you briefly. You curse under your breath. “I’ve been following you for a while, OZ. Though I wasn’t expecting the man behind the curtain to be a woman. I will say, having my computers route back to a loop of “We’re not in Kansas anymore.” everytime I tried to track your IP was impressive. I couldn’t even be mad about it.” 

“Clearly not that impressive because you found me.” 

“Still took me longer than usual, which is saying a lot.” 

“This is a really long winded conversation if you’re just here to arrest me.” You say, taking off your apron. No use in keeping it on if you were going to be in handcuffs soon. 

“That’s because I’m not here to arrest you. I’m here to offer you a job, to work under me as a Tech Analyst in the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI.” Penelope says. 

“And if I don’t want to?” 

“Then you’re going to want a lawyer and my very good handsome friend outside is going to arrest you. You’re smart and you have a chance to help people which is why you started hacking in the first place, right? Please don’t make me do that.” She looked at you pleadingly like she really cared and didn’t want you to go to prison. You didn’t say anything but something told you she’d been in the same boat as you before. 

“Hmmm…. I’m tired of waiting tables anyway.” 

So you uprooted your life and moved from Philadelphia to Quantico. Garcia took you under her wing and pretty soon the two of you functioned in her batcave like a well oiled machine. You could do without the constant gore that filled your screens but at the end of the day, you loved what you were doing and you wouldn’t change that for the world. 

The team was an added bonus, it was nice to have your own little found family. Garcia, of course, taking on the role as best friend mere days after your first meeting. You met Derek Morgan right after you agreed to take the job, he’d been there to arrest you and was very glad he wouldn’t have to do that. He told you often about how you reminded him of his sister and he regarded you in the role of younger sister from that day on. The next person you met had been Aaron Hotchner, your new boss. It took him a couple of weeks to warm up to you, you guessed he had a difficulty trusting new people and when he would call you guys for information he would always ask for Garcia instantly instead of you, not very trusting in your skills yet. Though that changed when you had been the one to track down the Unsub once. 

Rossi was easily won over when you told him about your Italian side of the family, specifically your grandmother who loved to cook and left you a lot of recipes. You and him often went back and forth in sharing dishes. Emily and JJ had also been easily won over with one bottle of tequila and a regrettable girls night. 

Then there was Dr. Spencer Reid.     

You had a lot of opinions on Dr. Reid, most of them weren’t good. It wasn’t like you hated him in fact, you’d consider him a friend but the two of you seemed to butt heads on well, everything. Both of you needing to be the smartest in the room and neither of you wanting to admit when you’re wrong will do that though. You still respected Spencer though, he was an extreme asset to the team and he was your best friend’s other best friend so you couldn’t really hate the guy. 

You also didn’t have to like him. 

So you had a good job, good friends, a nice house to live in. You were finally happy, content even. So why did it feel like something was missing? 

The something missing came in a stroller pushed by JJ the next week. 

The last case had been rough. Really rough. So while the team was on their way back you and Garcia hatched a plan for JJ to come visit from maternity leave and surprise everyone with the baby. While you guys were waiting for them to land, Garcia wanted to show JJ something she had gotten her godson so JJ asked if you could watch him and feed him until she got back, which you obviously agreed to. As you were feeding the child his bottle, and his ravioli sized fist wrapped around your finger you realized what had been missing. 

Fuck, you wanted a kid. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

You told Garcia first, it slipped when she noticed how off you were being. You wanted to have a kid bad now and you knew you didn’t want to wait. Penny tried to convince you that you’d “find the right person” but let’s face it, with this job, long term relationships were few and far inbetween. Plus you didn’t need a man, you had a good job and insurance, you knew you could provide a child with a life full of love it deserved. So you made an appointment at a fertility clinic. As the doctor was talking to you about your options, you felt yourself feeling more and more down about your decision and that only increased as you looked in the book of sperm donors in front of you. You looked at too many serial killers daily that it made you uneasy, carrying a stranger's baby. Maybe Garcia was right and your best bet was to wait for ‘the right guy.’ Even though you really didn’t want to. 

You walked into work later, a little sullen. Heading immediately towards the coffee machine. Penelope, who had been at Derek’s desk, makes a beeline towards you.  

“So how’d it go?” She says, smiling. “Did you make an appointment to be baby-fied?” 

You sigh. “I couldn’t do it, Pen.” You say, frowning. “I just-- We see so much here that I don’t want to accidentally end up with a sociopath’s baby because I couldn’t wait.” 

“But you don’t want to wait, do you?” She says softly, empathizing with you. 

“No, I don’t.” You sigh again, finishing making your cup before walking back out into the bullpen. JJ had brought Henry again for the others to see on the slow paperwork day. You tried not to look bitter but it was like she was flaunting the one thing you couldn’t have, even if it was unintentional. You watched as she handed the baby to Spencer, who instantly smiled and made faces at the laughing baby. 

“Spencer is actually a surprisingly good godfather.” Garcia says, smiling at the exchange in front of you. “Kinda makes you wonder what he’d be like with his own baby geniuses.” She says before walking over to the group and scooping her godson out of Spencer’s arms, Spencer still held on to his fist with his pinky, smiling down at the child. 

“Yea…” You say, to no one in particular. 

You had an idea. A probably bad one. 

-------------------------------------------------------

You were sitting in the coffee shop, nervously fiddling on your laptop while waiting for Spencer. You were surprised he even agreed to meet with you for coffee though you were sure he was just doing it out of curiosity because you told him you had something important to talk about. You weren’t even sure if you were going about this the right way. Hey Spencer, I know we’re not even friends but how would you feel about fathering my child? God, this was going to be terrible. 

You looked up when you heard the tell-tale bell on the door indicating someone walking in. Spencer gave you a small wave before going to the counter to get a coffee. You took that time to nervously sip yours. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, it was now or never. 

“Hey.” Spencer says, when he finally gets to the table, coffee in hand. “Why are you all the way in the corner?” 

“This isn’t really a conversation I want overheard.” 

Spencer tilts his head confused at that. “So what is the conversation we’re supposed to be having. I asked Garcia but she seemed to also have no idea.” 

“Yea, I didn’t tell her on account of this maybe going extremely bad.” You say, before sighing and turning your laptop around so Spencer could see the Powerpoint screen you have on it. When he reads it,  he chokes on his coffee.

“A Powerpoint, really?” He chokes, still coughing around the coffee. “Y/N, what is this?” 

“This is Reasons Why You Should Make a Baby With me.” 

“Yea, I got that from the title, Y/N.” He says, still shocked. “Is this a joke?!” 

“I wish it was, Reid.”

“Can I at least ask why you thought a Powerpoint was the best way to ask?”   

“Because I felt you’d be more inclined to consider it if you knew I spent time on a presentation.” 

“That’s true.” He leans back, taking a sip of his coffee, gesturing for you to continue. You hit the next slide. 

“Ok, reason number one is we both want kids.” You say, looking at him. “Garcia told me the other day that you were talking about how much you wanted a kid and I also want a kid.”  

“I did tell Garcia that.” He muses. 

“Reason two, an offspring between us would probably result in another genius. As you know, you are smart.” 

“Yes.” 

“And I am smarter.” You say, Spencer opens his mouth to protest but you keep talking. “A child between us could probably be the next Einstein.” 

Spencer nods and you continue. “Reason three, I’d be a great mom.” 

“That’s a debatable fact.” 

“No, it’s not. You’ve seen me around kids, have I ever given an inclination that I wouldn’t be?” You ask, he shakes his head. “Plus, I happen to think you’d be a great father. Which brings me to Reason 4.” You say clicking through the next slide. “If you don’t want to be involved in raising that’s fine. I’m perfectly fine raising the child myself an--” 

“What?! No!” Spencer says, sitting up. “If I do agree to have this baby, which I’m not completely doing yet. I want to be involved, I want them to know I’m their father and that I didn’t abandon them because I know what that’s like.” He says, seriously. You nod, already knowing this about Spencer. 

“Reason 5: I’d be the perfect platonic co-parent, I won’t ask you for anything unless it’s pertaining to the child and if you decide that later down the road you want your own family, I’d be supportive and help you along the way.”

Spencer nods. “We’re never home enough for a baby.” 

“That’s where you’re wrong because I’ll be here. I mainly stay here anyway and if there’s ever a case where you need a tech analyst to fly out, Garcia’s already agreed to have it already be her when I floated the baby idea around last month.”  

Spencer hummed, silent for a second. “You really want a kid, huh?” 

“Yes.” You say. 

“So much so you’re asking me?” Spencer says, matter-of-factly. “A Coworker you barely speak to?”

Well, when he says it like that. 

“Yes. I’m asking because while we don’t get along the best you are still one of the most compassionate, understanding men I know. And I know that if I have to raise this kid with somebody, you would love them just as much as I would.” You say, Spencer nods at that. “So, please?” 

Spencer sighs. “When’s your next appointment? At the fertility clinic?” 

You didn’t even want to ask how he knew about that. “Next tuesday.” 

He nods. “I’m going with you.” He says, standing, pulling the strap of his messenger bag over his shoulder. “This isn’t a yes.” 

“It’s not a no, either.” You point out. 

“No, it’s not.” He says, leaving you behind in the coffee shop with a huge grin on your face.

Taglist: @moonshinerbynight​ @crimeshowtrash​

Message/reply to be tagged!!

[itsclydebitches]

I think that regarding RWBY criticism people are defensive because there are a lot of people who dont like the show and actively shit talk it for whatever reason. We agree on that and we agree there are people who criticize the show because they like it and want it to be "better" (whatever that means to them.) Now feel free to disagree with me on this part but i think part of the reason the people who have genuine criticism often get disregarded and labeled a hater is because, at least to me, they dont provide a solution to the problems they have or do so in a way that can be interpreted as self-righteous and condescending. Its like if a teacher got mad at a student for not understanding the material rather than trying to explain it differently, it just creates another issue.

I think the reason why critics don't provide a solution is the same reason why that comparison doesn't work for me: we are not RT's teachers. We are the consumers of their product. Whereas a teacher has a responsibility to do everything possible to help a student get better at their subject (the thing they're paid to do), it is not the viewers' responsibility to do everything possible to help RT get better at writing (we're paying them). To my mind, it really is enough to say, "This is bad" and leave it at that. The same way if I order a meal at a restaurant, I'm allowed to go, "Wow. That tasted awful and I'm upset about it because I expected better." If my dinner companion went, "Well, why was it bad? Too cold? Not enough seasoning? Prove to me these failings exist because I'm not inclined to take you at your word. And more importantly, what's your solution here? I'm not going to take this complaint seriously unless you have a good plan for how to fix this dish" I'd be like, "... what am I supposed to do? March into the kitchen and teach the chef myself?"

We're under no obligation to fix RT's mistakes and, even if we were, how exactly are a bunch of fans meant accomplish that? What literal, practical action does anyone expect fans to take to ensure that the changes they want to see in RWBY actually come about? There's nothing you can do. However, despite this, many fans do suggest changes that they think would benefit the story, with the hope that the writers — who are very active on social media and engage a great deal with their fans — will see and take note. There have been times throughout the series where it does appear like they saw some of the more common complaints... only to then swerve right back towards their original writing decisions. Ren's Volume 8 arc is an example of that. So is Jaune's focus in the finale. Many in the fandom said, "I want to see the group held responsible for their bad decisions. I want Jaune to take a backseat so the girls can get more development. I think these choices will help alleviate many of the criticisms we've had" and RT did that... only to pull back on both changes at the last second. Obviously there's no way to know their intentions there, whether it's a coincidence they toyed with ideas the fandom has frequently discussed, or whether they actually tossed them in to try and appease critics with no real plans to take those changes seriously, but for the purposes of this discussion it amounts to the same: fans said "Doing this specific thing will make the story better, with 'better' defined as us deriving more enjoyment from it" and RT didn't do the thing. So, where are you supposed to go from there? Storm RT headquarters and make them take writing classes? Frankly, it's ridiculous to think that fans need or could do anything at all, making solutions a needless requirement.

To say nothing of how this comes across as another lose-lose situation. You say that critics should provide solutions to these problems in order to be taken seriously. You also say that if they do provide solutions, they tend to come across as "self-righteous and condescending." Pardon my skepticism, but it sounds like there isn't a version of criticism that's going to meet with your approval, or if it exists, it's an incredibly narrow pocket. Criticism is dismissed if there's no solution attached, but if you do provide a solution, make sure you don't sound too confident in the changes you want to make. That doesn't sound very doable to me. It just sounds like a catch-all way to dismiss criticism as a whole, either because a post didn't meet the first, arbitrary requirement, or did so in a tone the recipient decides they don't like (which is always subjective. Any post can be read as "self-righteous" if you decide that's the route you want to go. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy). And I do see this a lot. For a transformative fandom like any other, the RWBY community has a strangely hostile attitude towards rewrites, with many fans considering it "self-righteous" to think that anyone could write RWBY better than RT, and that a rewrite's existence is "condescending" towards the writers. If I actually gave a detailed account of not just my problems with the story, but also the specific changes needed to improve it (many of which, notably, require a reworking of the mechanics and world building from the very start), there's a very good chance that would still be dismissed because people would interpret it as too arrogant. "Look at her, thinking she's better than professional, successful writers. What massively popular stories have you published lately? Yeah, that's what I thought. God I hate critics, they're so pretentious." If you don't provide solutions you're being too negative and don't actually want the story to succeed. If you provide solutions you're too arrogant and insulting the writers by daring to think that you could do better. So again: lose-lose.

But as said, solutions shouldn't be necessary. It's great if you come up with some, but figuring out how to fix a product's failings is not a requirement for voicing grievances with that product. I don't need to know how to build a better computer to be upset if mine suddenly fails. I don't need to know how to bake muffins to grimace if the one I'm eating tastes off. And you don't need to know how to write a webseries to be unhappy with how RWBY is going. If we were in a position of responsibility with RT, like a teacher, then yeah, totally different situation. But they're producing something that they expect fans to pay for, whether it's through First accounts, merch, cons, etc. or, payment aside, they nevertheless hope to receive attention and praise for this product. The flipside of that is that people might not like what you're selling. You can be displeased with the quality of a webseries purchase in precisely the same way you can be displeased with the quality of a meal. No Gordon Ramsey-level knowledge required.

[uygfiug]

YESSSS!!! im so so excited about the moth eggs!! very nervous as well though, especially bc i had no idea this was even a female & then suddenly it just started laying eggs yknow? and then i had to figure out a solution on the spot

ohh yeah i have a few dried roses :) our school sold them for valentines day & my friends got a bunch of people to buy me roses as a surprise, and i got 14 total, so i dried those ofc <33 theres even a few from teachers in there :) i believe theres a flower farm not too far into the forest, i'll look into if i can pick some from there :) for me, part of the fun of spotting insects, is identifying them afterwards :) ive also started looking at birds more recently bc of a mutual whose really into birds :)

nice :) im belgian & ive lived in belgium my whole life :) ive been on 2 school trips though! one to the netherlands, and one skiing trip to italy :) i do love beach days!!! i kinda want to go on my own beach day alone some time this year too, bc then i can just do whatever i want without having to go along with my family. the movies are expensive BUT if i save a little i could go a few times

same!! i dont do any afterschool activities, so i cant really meet anyone that way, and my current friends are all finding new friends & getting less & less close to me, so i cant really meet people through them either :(

ooooooh thats sounds fun!! i dont know my way around even my own neighbourhood that well, so thats definetely something i could do, i cant take the train for that though :( bc train subscriptions here are very expensive & only for one specific route :(( i have one for metro, tram & buses though :) (within certain limits, bc belgium has this weird division system, thats different for like everything??) anywaysss i once did something kinda like this? we were in a certain area for school & our little group just kinda started going into every second-hand/vintage store we could find & looking around :)

its also fun to take the metro & kinda look around every station, bc theres always different art there :) being on the metro isnt very fun though :( theres a specific town with a funny name i really want to go to, but i know its really boring there :( theres also an area called 'silly' <33

hiya <3

how are ya? i like the new theme :)

i cant really think of another question to ask rn, so just tell me about anything you want? (or not if you dont feel like it ofc)

HELLOO!! <333333

thank you so much!! i love changing it around skfbsng

iii have been incapable of talking without mentioning wooden overcoats (new podcast i started listening to a week ago and have almost finished) because its so underrated and silly and heartfelt and hilarious and charming AUGH i love it so deaaarlyyyy it ssooosoosso

how have you been??? i also cant think of questions FJGBSN but i want to know anything

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

On Education

An excerpt from Memoirs of a Flesh Eater, never published.

Previous Excerpt

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I think every parent struggles with the question of when they should teach their children hard truths. At some point, every child needs to learn about death. They need to learn about hatred. They need to learn about the horrors people will inflict on them for being different. This is something that is as true for ghouls as it is for humans. For most people, it is a fact of life that someone will hate you for existing.

Human-on-human prejudice is still something I don’t fully understand. At least humans have a reason to hate us. I don’t know why they go looking for reasons to hate each other too.

Educating ghouls is a challenge. We need to know about ourselves, of course. We need to know about our kind - our needs, our history, our ways of moving through human society - but we need to learn everything that humans learn too. The more we can fit seamlessly into the human world, the safer we are. You probably don’t know this, what with how much the news loves a story about a ghoul living in secret among humans, their murders exposed to the shock of their friends and acquaintances, but those of us who are brought up among humans don’t get found out very often. It’s the feral children, the big city packs that still hunt most of their food, the all-ghoul communes, that are easier targets for the exterminators. Those of us that are fully integrated are much harder to sniff out, unless we seriously fuck up.

{Editing Note: Don’t say fuck. Even though it’s a really good word}

The best way to make sure a ghoul can pass as human is to start us young. Get us into kindergarten, then elementary school, and keep going all the way through college. There’s nothing better than hands-on training. That’s what my mom did for me, mostly. I was raised in human society, in the human public school system, and I’ve never had a true close call. I’ve never caught the eye of an exterminator, and no human has ever asked me pointed questions about my habits or diet.

For the sake of completeness, I should say that I was in the human public school system for everything except for middle school. It’s not like that’s a great loss, though - everything I’ve heard about middle school sounds like hell. I don’t know how any of you survived going through puberty in front of all your peers.

{Editing Note: I am not talking about ghoul puberty unless I can find a reliable human to tell me what their puberty was like. If I wrote about something that I thought was ghoul-specific but is actually normal I’d die on the spot. I’d call a fucking exterminator on myself.}

Conventional schooling might be the best setup for success, but it’s also the most dangerous route. Kids talk, and that’s as true for us as it is for you. It takes a lot of work to make a child understand that there are some things you can never tell anyone, not even your closest friends, not ever. It’s not a fun burden to grow up carrying either. I’ve known the fear of death for literally longer than I can remember. I’ve known that letting myself be truly honest and vulnerable with any of my classmates would bring it to me and my parents before the day was over {Editing Note: True vulnerability is what I need now, though. I should find a place to talk about my dad}. It’s more loneliness than any child should ever grow up with. I was lucky; I found Scarlet in 4th grade. There are plenty of ghoul children that don’t find each other until high school, if there are even any other ghoul children to be found.

Some parents decide that the risk is too great. They’d rather have alive children than well-adjusted children, so they homeschool them {Editing Note: Okay, that’s way too harsh. Don’t be biased}. I did get to experience this approach for those couple of years when I wasn’t in middle school, and it does have some advantages other than safety. When I was in public school, my mom had to find time after school to teach me about our people. In a homeschool setting, ghoul studies could actually be integrated into our curriculum. It wasn’t completely asocial, either - ghoul parents often use their Society connections to find other ghoul children that are homeschooling so we can learn together. I met my second best friend, Scorpio, because we were homeschooled together.

{Editing Note: My friends are going to read this. I need to make it super clear that Scorpio is the second best friend I made chronologically. I’m not ranking my friends in front of the entire world.}

Scorpio’s a good friend, but he’s also a good case study for the drawbacks of homeschooling. He was homeschooled K through 12 and he is definitely the worst of my friends at passing. He has no idea what’s normal for ghouls vs normal for humans, so he compensates by either saying nothing or saying the most obvious, outlandish lies you could imagine when childhood comes up in conversation. In his defense, those lies are usually pretty funny, and he does connect pretty well with the right kind of people. Scorpio’s got a bunch of very specific subjects that he knows a ton about and loves to talk about. He and Scarlet can go on for hours about literary theory.

{Editing Note: That’s too meandering. I’m just trying to explain why some ghouls homeschool and some don’t - I don’t need to put my weird friends on blast.}

There’s another kind of formal schooling for ghouls that’s much, much rarer - the ghoul private school. The only one I even knew of, St. Raymond’s, was shut down last year by exterminators. Normally I’d tell you to take the lurid details you hear on the news with a healthy pinch of salt, and I still would, but that many rich young ghouls, completely cut off from the rest of humanity… it’s hard to predict what becomes normalized in that kind of echo chamber.

Fortunately, my patron knows more people than I do, so I have more to offer you than grim speculation. According to her, these kinds of places always have a very small student body, rarely breaking a hundred. The lesson content is pretty similar to homeschool - fully integrated ghoul curriculum, plus a few specialized lessons on blending into human society. Out of necessity, they’re almost always boarding schools. It’s easier to keep a low profile if you don’t have a bunch of ghoul kids not used to hiding going to and from the campus every day.

Apparently, it’s that kind of logistical challenge that makes these schools so rare. Aside from all the money you need to run a school in the first place, and how careful you need to be to pass scrutiny from the Board of Education, providing discretely for the needs of that many ghouls is an organizational nightmare. I mean, there’s a reason that ghoul families are so small, a reason why even our extended households rarely do more than scrape the double digits. There’s only so much flesh that can be safely obtained in one area at a time. There aren’t a lot of ghouls that have the resources and the inclination to put one of these schools together.

There is, of course, one more ways that ghouls are educated - the school of hard knocks {Editing Note: That’s such a trivializing way to put it. Have some sensitivity, me}. Given how short our average life expectancy is, it’s inevitable that some ghoul children have to fend for themselves from a very young age. I doubt it comes as a surprise that most of them don’t manage to integrate into human society very well. The lucky ones figure out early on how to kill discreetly, how to hide their nature from observers, and how to vary their hunting patterns enough to avoid the attention of the exterminators. The rest either starve quietly or die violently.

Most of these feral ghouls who survive to be teenagers eventually find each other and form packs. From a pure survival standpoint, this is a bad move. A group of feral teenage ghouls have a much harder time covering their tracks than they would as individuals, but for most, the chance at companionship is too tempting. It’s miserable, being alone in the world. Packs offer most of them the best chance to escape loneliness that they’ll ever get. And for most of them, it ends in a shallow grave within a year. Putting down a pack of feral ghouls is a good headline for an exterminator, and it’s a lot less work than trying to ferret out those of us who’ve figured out how to pass. That isn’t how the majority of ghouls die, but it’s how a plurality of us do.

For those few feral ghouls that survive to adulthood, their lives take one of three paths. Sometimes they find a patron and fall in with a household, and they do their best to heal from the trauma of their childhood. They do their best to find a happy life in human society, just like those of us who were luckier. Sometimes they become true Hunters, living their lives on the outskirts of our Society; still embraced by us, if only at an arm’s length. I’ll talk more about them later.

And sometimes, they become the Lost. Not that ghouls from any walk of life are immune to that fate, but… I’ll get to them later too. You may not have heard of them by that name, but I guarantee you’ve heard of the Lost.

{Editing Note: That’s a really grim note to end the chapter on. I should play with the structure a bit and find a more uplifting note to leave this subject on.}

{Editing Note: Or I could ask Kestrel. I’m sure she’d have ideas on how to better write the section on feral ghouls, and she could help me strike a more authentic tone. But… I don’t want to upset her. She doesn’t like to think about it, and I don’t want to hurt her. Is this important enough? Would she think it’s important enough?}

[avengerscompound]

Until the End of the World - 17

Until the End of the World: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count:  1627

Rating:  E

Warnings: a little self doubt, canon typical violence

Synopsis: Four years after Steve and Bucky got to the bottom of the HYDRA conspiracy that had led to you and your son being hunted for the first three years of his life, you, Bucky, and Steve have carved out a nice life together.  Things are calm and you feel like a family unit.  When Geo starts calling Bucky and Steve ‘dad’, a decision is made to try and add to your family.

Things aren’t as calm as they seem.  When your pregnancy hits the papers, HYDRA rears its head once again, and Steve and Bucky need to track you down to protect the family they had created

Chapter 17

“Sir,” FRIDAY said.  “I think… I think Geo is sending us a message.”

The uncertainty of the AI’s voice was what really made Steve pay attention.  Given that she was a computer, she never had any uncertainty when she made a statement.  All her statements were made based on thousands of algorithms assessing everything at once.  Yet here she was - facing an undeniable SOS sent down the powerlines - unsure of what she was saying. 

“What’s happening, FRIDAY?”  Steve asked.

“These surges are coming from the outside, something is pushing the grid to feed us power.  I thought it was just a supply issue so I was following it back to the source assuming it would go to a power station.  Instead, it’s going below us.”

“What?”  Steve said.

“I know, Captain,” FRIDAY said.  “And then the SOS just now.  I’m sure it must be him.  He’s being kept in some facility underground.”

Steve strode to the door, gesturing for Bucky to follow.  “Can you figure out exactly where?”

“I’m working on it,” FRIDAY answered.

Steve rode the elevator up with Bucky his heart pounding in his chest.  He wanted this to be it.  He had to find you because all this was his fault and if his lack of foresight meant that you were hurt or worse, dead, he would never forgive himself.

He blamed himself completely for not being more diligent.  Of course, HYDRA had come back.  Of course, they’d remembered you were something special.  Steve had a policy of not killing people unless there was no choice.  Of course, people died at his hand in battle and he had to live with that, but he wasn’t an executioner.

This was the first time he’d ever regretted that.  He wished he’d killed Viper when he had the chance.  If she had gone, then so would have everyone with any power that would remember who you were.  His morals had been the exact reason that his girlfriend and his children were in danger, and what was the point of morals if they meant the people who deserved it least got hurt?

The elevator opened into the command room and he strode in.  Tony turned around looking flustered.  “I’m working on it,” he said before Steve had a chance to say anything.  “This is tricky.  What Geo can do… it shouldn’t be possible.  The things he communicates with - they don’t have any sort of intelligence half the time.  Yet he can convince them in a way that implies they must.”

“You’re sure it’s him though and not someone trying to draw us out into a confrontation,” Steve asked.

Tony shook his head. “It’s him.  I can’t even do what he just did.  There is a clear path down to a place where there is no power supply.”

“Can we follow it?”  Steve asked.

Tony nodded and projected what was the start of a map and overlaid it on the current maps from urban services and surveyors that included service tunnels, subway systems, and sewer pipes.  As he looked it over new sections seemed to be added deeper down and others seemed to be overlaid.

“Is this it?”  Steve asked.

“I’d say so,” Tony said.  “Just trying to find a way in.”

Steve paced.  He wanted to go.  The longer he had to wait the more likely you would be hurt.  Bucky grabbed his wrist as he passed and Steve stopped and looked at him. 

“There,” Bucky said, pointing at the screen.

“What are you seeing, Freezer Burn?”  Tony asked, putting his blue blocker glasses on and tilting his head.

Bucky approached the screen.  “That’s where the Waldorf Astoria is right?”  He said as he indicated a subway line that had been marked as closed on the map.

“Right,” Tony said.

“That track used to be used to go from Grand Central to the Waldorf, specifically for their VIP guests.  You remember when they opened it, Stevie?  General Pershing rode it?”  Bucky said.

“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Steve said.

“How can you remember that and not killing Kennedy?”  Tony snarked.

“Who says I can’t remember killing Kennedy?”  Bucky deadpanned.

“Can we squabble later?”  Steve asked, getting frustrated by how slow they were discussing this.  “What’s your point, Bucky?”

“It’s accessible by a service elevator from the Waldorf.  Which is on the route between here and Geo’s school,” Bucky explained.  “If they parked under the hotel, that would explain why the van vanished so fast, and then they could just get them down to that track unseen.  And as it’s abandoned they could have used it for construction and it gone by completely unnoticed.”

“But the Waldorf is valet parking,” Tony said.  “How would they hide two unconscious people from the valet?”

“Maybe they had someone on the inside?”  Steve suggested.

“Or perhaps they accessed it from the private parking for the Towers of the Waldorf.  They have their own private access to the parking garage,” FRIDAY suggested.

Tony looked at Steve.  “Go.  I’ll assemble the team,” he said.  “FRIDAY get the Legion to focus their scans on that abandoned tunnel.  We need an access point.”

Steve and Bucky took the elevator to the armory.  Steve hadn’t changed since you were taken so he just pulled on the upper part of his uniform, and grabbed the shield.  It took Bucky a little longer to get suited up, but when he was done he not only had his armor on but several different guns and knives packed onto his person.

The two took the stairs to the street.  As well as the adrenaline that was coursing through his system, Steve felt frustrated and angry.  HYDRA hand managed to build an underground facility immediately under his nose.  Grand Central Station shared the block with the Avengers Tower.  They couldn’t have been closer if they’d just set up shop in its basement.

The paparazzi started calling out to them and taking their photos as soon as they ran out into the street and many people who had just been walking along experiencing a normal day in the city stopped to gawk at the two Avengers as they ran down the street.  They charged into the entrance of the railway station.

“Excuse me, pardon me, coming through,” he shouted as he wove in and out of the people heading down into the large open concourse with its domed ceiling with the celestial mural in gold and turquoise.

“This way,” Bucky said, pointing to the left.  “We’ll have to cross over from track 42.”

Steve nodded and followed.  They ran down the platform, past the trains waiting, and onto the tracks.  “Cap!” A porter yelled out.  “You can’t go down there.”

“I need you to keep the tracks clear.  This is Avengers business!”  Steve yelled back.

“We found what seems to be a tunnel,” Tony’s voice crackled over the comms.  “It’s on track 61.  FRIDAY will let you know when you’re near the entrance.”

Steve didn’t need FRIDAY’s help in the end.  The entrance was obvious.  Among the waste and abandoned train carts along the track was a large opening that went down under it all.  It was roughly hewn and reminded Steve of an old mine.  He and Bucky were just about to head down into it when the sound of jets echoed off the walls and they were joined by Rhodey and several of the Iron Legion.  “Cap,” Rhodey said, landing beside them.  “Tony found another entrance, down at the Canal Street station.  That looks like the main entrance and the one that they did most of the work from.  There’s a bunch of construction on the tracks down there and it’s possible they just blended in with the official stuff.”

“Thanks, Rhodey,” Steve said.  “You ready?”

“Always,” Rhodey answered, his visor closing again.

They made their way down the tunnel, Rhodey and the legion flying behind as Steve and Bucky ran down into the bowels of the earth.  As they got deeper down, the rough temporary look of the tunnel began to look more complete, until they were standing behind a door that looked like it was made of thick metal.

“Looks like if we ever had an element of surprise, we’re about to lose it,” Steve said, as he assessed the door.

“That’s if we had it,” Rhodey said.  “Stand back, the longer it takes us to find them, the higher the chance they’ll slip out some secret entrance.”

Bucky and Steve backed up and Rhodey aimed his arm at the door.  A laser burst out from an eye on his wrist and carved through the thick metal.  It took around a minute before he’d cut all the way through.  The alarms started sounding before the door even hit the ground.  A group of HYDRA stormed out from one of the rooms and the Iron Legion flew past Steve’s head and began to fight.

Just as Steve was about to join the fray the alarms stopped again.  Steve looked at Bucky who had his gun raised.  “Geo?”  He asked.

“Geo,” Bucky agreed.

Steve ran in, joining the fray as they took down the guards.  When no more came, they ran down the hall and it split off into various paths.  Steve looked at Rhodey.  “We should split up.  Cover more ground.”

“Agreed.  I’ll take a few of the Legion this way,” he said pointing down the middle.  Steve nodded and Rhodey took off.

“Stay safe, Buck,” Steve said.

“You too,” Bucky said before running down another hall with some of the Legion in tow.  Steve took a breath and looked at the remaining paths.  He gestured for the remaining Legion down two and took off after the last one, hoping that that would be the one that brought him to you.

// NEXT

[ladyloveandjustice]

Belated Spring 2020 Anime Overview: My Next Life as Villainess

For the Spring 2020 anime season, I mostly watched continuations of shows I was already into. The one new show I did pick up was My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! follows Katerina Claes, a spoiled young noble girl deviously scheming to win the heart of a prince- oh wait, never mind, she hit her head and remembered her past life! Turns out she’s an eighteen year old Japanese otaku chick who died and got reincarnated as the villainess in her favorite otome game. 

If you don’t feel like reading the wiki article, an otome game is basically a female- targeted dating sim where you play as a blank slate main character and date a bunch of pretty boys (and sometimes girls, but usually only if you go outside the mainstream ones), unlocking their backstories and collecting all the romantic endings.

Having played this game, Katarina is well aware that the Villainess character- who constantly tries to interfere with the game’s heroine and whichever boy she’s pursuing- is either exiled or killed in all of the games endings. And now she IS that villainess, living in the world of the game and all its characters! Does that mean she’s doomed to a horrible fate? What’s a girl to do?

Well, if you’re Katarina, what you do is be supportive and kind to the people around you and in doing so accidentally get every single character in the game to fall in love with you. And yes, this includes all the boys the heroine is supposed to date, the other female romantic rivals the heroine is faced with and the game’s heroine herself.

That’s right, we finally got us some bisexual romantic comedy hijinx last anime season, my friends! My Next Life as a Villainess was the delightful little show I really escaped into during these anxious pandemic times . All these girls casually falling in love with Katarina without it being treated as ‘weird’ was what particularly drew me to this show and warmed my gay little heart to see. It was honestly the perfect fluffy, low stress watch during these high stress times.

Anime has long been oversaturated with ‘harem’ stories- where a usually unwitting protagonist somehow gets a bevy of beauties in love with them- but it’s still unfortunately really unusual to see bisexual harems, especially ones with a girl at the center, so right away there’s a big draw to this story that helps it stick out from the rest.  (And worry not, the story is largely focused on Katarina having fun with these pals-who-are-not-so-secretly-in-love-with-her, rather than having a ton the dubious shenanigans you see in more sexually charged tales.)

Harem protoganists also famously tend to have the personality of potatoes, being so painfully bland it’s unclear why so many people would fall in love with them in the first place. But that definitely not the case for Katarina. She’s brash, ridiculous, kind and INCREDIBLY dense, and that for a pretty dynamic combination in this setting! She does genuinely come off as a fun person to be around. Unlike a lot of modern isekai shows, she doesn’t stumble into having incredible magic powers or skills, so her compassion is genuinely her greatest strength and what saves the day and wins hearts time and time again.

Katarina’s five brain cells doing their weekly check-in

(The moment she won my heart was when she responded to a tragic Frozen style situation with her friend locking himself away from people because he believed his magic was dangerous by taking an axe to his door. My kinda girl!)

The premise also allows for some plausible built-in reasons for the characters to take such special notice of Katarina- having been raised in a different world, she isn’t beholden to all the social rules, class divisions and noble family drama all the other kids in this very specific midevial-esque fantasy world are so embroiled in. This combined with her naturally earnest, accepting and straightfoward nature means she’s able to cross boundaries and reach out to them in a way they aren’t accustomed to. She was significant in each character’s life because she genuinely was the first to show them acceptance and affection without pretense, if only because she isn’t even aware there was supposed to be a pretense.

Katarina’s focus on trying not to die and her fear she’s going to meet the same fate as the villainess in the game also at least gives some kind of a basis to her comical obliviousness to everyone being in love with her. She assumes that everyone has to be into Maria (the heroine) and terrified of her because that’s how the game GOES okay, that’s CANON! Of course, this logic stretches thin as time goes on and it would be abundantly clear to most people that things have diverged greatly from the game’s storyline, but the show makes it clear that Katarina’s determined, one track mind is as much a gift as a curse. 

Her bullheadedness when it comes to picking up how everyone REALLY feels about her is an intentional gag on the show’s part and even her love interests are well aware of what a colossal dumbass she is and not afraid to point it out!

My Next Life as a Villainess isn’t without its flaws, and the personalities/backstories of some of the ‘love interests’ Katarina gathers may be a stumbling block on some- mostly the male ones.  Geordo, “the black hearted prince” has a bit of the “ possessive shoujo bad boy” archetype about him, and though he’s far from the worst that genre of love interest has to offer (there’s not much bad he can get up to due to Katarina’s obliviousness, the lighthearted nature of the show, and his rivals constantly getting in his way), the way he refuses to break Katarina and his engagement off despite her repeatedly asking him to, as well as some of his lines here and there, are definitely NOT cute. 

Keith is Katarina’s adopted brother, but clearly has a thing for her too. On one hand, they only first met when they were nine and he fell for her pretty immediately. On the other hand, he still refers to her as “sister” constantly which is kinda eesh. 

The other two guys are all right- Nicol’s big thing is he’s inexpressive and doesn’t talk much which, considering show doesn’t spend much time inside his head, doesn’t make him a very interesting character in the ensemble (maybe he comes across better in the novels) but there’s nothing wrong with him. Alan is undoubtedly the Best Boy in my book. He’s another common trope- rambunctious and competitive with Katarina but clearly soft for her- but he’s done well and they have a lot of cute moments together.

I find the girl love interests to be a much more interesting group overall, though this may be my obvious bias talking. Sophia has the strongest connection to Katarina, their backstories being intertwined in a surprising and touching way (I’m told in the novels her affection for Katarina was treated as more platonic, but the anime definitely plays it up as having romantic elements). Maria’s original role as the game’s heroine puts her in the most interesting position (and would make her the most narratively satisfying choice of love interest, if the show was actually interested in choosing). And while Mary is comically tenacious in her pursuit of Katarina, she’s doesn’t ever act ‘sinister’ or overstep boundaries in the way Geordo does, her “scheming” only really amounting to straightforwardly asking if Katarina wants to ditch her fiance and run away with her. 

As I mentioned, one thing that really contributes to My Next Life as a Villainess being a relaxing watch is that the queer characters are treated with casual acceptance. Mary in particular isn’t subtle about her crush on Katarina, but nobody bats an eye at her and she’s completely open and comfortable with herself too. The observing maid notes that the girls are in love with Katarina with the same bland affect as when she notes she notes the guys are. And while the social practices of the nobles are pretty heteronormative- girls are always engaged in arranged marriages to guys, the guys are expected to dance with the girls (something Mary complains about!)- there’s apparently a booming queer romance novel industry that inspires our young wlw.

Katarina, having grown up in a different world, seems to be the one most prone to heteronormativity of her group. She never really considers  that a girl would ever fall in love with her, but is also never hostile to the idea. It’s telling that when Mary very clearly indicates her desired romantic partner would be a girl, Katarina’s the only one that gets tripped up and has to walk back her assumption that Mary would be talking about a guy. 

Mary LAYING DOWN THE LAW

Also, Katarina has  SEVERAL “she’s so cute! My heart is beating faster!” moments with the other girls, on par in frequency with her moments with the guys. This strongly hints she’s an oblivious bisexual disaster.

So, My Next Life as Villainess is a fun, frothy watch and the rare positive example of silly wish-fufillment that’s inclusive to a wlw audience. But is the actual plot good, or remotely complex? The answer to that is no, the plot is fairly predictable and one definitely shouldn’t got into this story expecting a deep examination of the nature of fate or anything like that.There’s no real explanation of big reason as to why why Katarina was reborn into this game world and so on.

 The antagonist that does eventually emerge plays off otome game tropes a bit, but ultimately isn’t that interesting or built up all that well. . The attempts at drama the show makes towards the end fall a little flat, especially since it tends to rely on very-late-in-the-game-exposition-dumps (dark magic isn’t even MENTIONED as existing in this world until like, the second to last episode where it becomes relevant and we get a vague infodump explaining its mechanics). The conflict honestly almost feels shoehorned in and the climax is pretty standard and doesn’t really utilize the big cast of characters all that well

But in the end, that’s okay! The show makes it abundantly clear from the beginning it’s not here to be Deep, but to be some silly fun. And it really fulfills that purpose well, from it’s catchy, peppy theme tune to its consistently warm tone. It MAY get repetitive at times for some, and I do have some quibbles- like how I found the childhood segments to be some of the shows best material and wish we could have stayed in that section for a bit instead of rushing through it, how I wish Katarina had kept her cute little scar, etc- but overall, it was definitely the soothing balm I needed during a very rough time and I absolutely recommend it if you’re looking for a chill, feel-good watch.

 And hey, a second season’s supposed to be on the way too, so there’s something to potentially look forward to!

[queenlua]

hey, i started following you recently and ur bio says ur a hacker? any tips on where to start? hacking seems like a v cool/fun way to learn more abt coding and cybersecurity/infrastructure and i'd like to explore it but there's so much on the internet and like, i'm not trying to get into anything illegal. thanks!

huh, an interesting question, ty!

i can give more tailored advice if you hit me up on chat with more specifics on your background/interests.

given what you've written here, though, i'll just assume you don't have any immediate professional aspirations (e.g. you just want to learn some things, and you aren't necessarily trying to get A Cyber Security Job TM within the next three months or w/e), and that you don't know much about any specific programming/computering domain yet.

(stuff under cut because long)

first i'd probably just try to pick some interesting problem that you think you can solve with tech. this doesn't need to be a "hacking" project at first; i was just messing around with computers for ages before i did anything involving security/exploitation.

if you don't already know how to program, you should ideally pick a problem you can solve via programming. for instance: i learned a lot back in the 2000s, when play-by-post forum RPGs were in vogue.  see, i'd already been messing around, building my own personal sites, first just with HTML & CSS, and later on with Javascript and PHP.   and i knew the forum software everyone used (InvisionPowerBoard) was written in PHP.  so when one of the admins at my RPG complained that they'd like the ability to set multiple profile pictures, i was like, "hey i'm good at programming, want me to create a mod to do that," and then i just... did. so then they asked me to program more features, and i got all the sexy nerd cred for being Forum Mod Queen, and it was a good time, i learned a lot.

(i also got to be the person who was frantically IMed at 2am because wtf the forum is down and there's an inscrutable error, what do??? basically sysadmining! also, much less sexy! still, i learned a lot!)

the key thing is that it's gotta be a problem that's interesting to you: as much as i love making dorky sites in PHP, half the fun was seeing other people using my stuff, and i think the era of forum-based RPGs has passed. but maybe you can apply some programming talents to something that you are interested in—maybe you want to make a silly Chrome extension to make people laugh, a la Cloud to Butt, or maybe you'd like to make a program that converts pixel art into cross-stitching patterns, maybe you want to just make a cool adventure game on those annoying graphing calculators they make you use in class, or make a script for some online game you play, or make something silly with Arduino (i once made a trash can that rolled toward me when i clapped my hands; it was fun, and way easier than you'd think!), whatever.

i know a lot of hacker-types who got their start doing ROM hacking for video games—replacing the character art or animations or whatever in old NES games. that's probably more relevant than the PHP websites, at least, and is probably a solid place to get started; in my experience those communities tend to be reasonably friendly to questions. pick a small thing you want to do & ask how to do it.

also, a somewhat unconventional path, but—once i knew how to program a bit of Python, i started doing goofy junk, like, "hey can i implemented NamedTuple from scratch,” which tends to lead to Python metaprogramming, which leads to surprising shit like "oh, stack frames are literally just Python objects and you can manually edit them in the interpreter to do deliberately horrendous/silly things, my god this language allows too much reflection and i'm having too much fun"... since Python is a lot of folks' first language these days, i thought i'd point that out, since i think this is a pretty accessible start to thinking about How Programs Actually Work under the hood. allison kaptur has some specific recommendations on how to poke around, if you wanna go that route.

it's reasonably likely you'll end up doing something "hackery" in the natural course of just working on stuff. for instance, while i was working on the IPB forum software mods, i became distressed to learn that everyone was using an INSECURE version of the software! no one was patching their shit!! i yelled at the admins about it, and they were like "well we haven't been hacked yet so it's not a problem," so i uh, decided to demonstrate a proof of concept? i downloaded some sketchy perl script, kicked it until it worked, logged in as the admins, and shitposted a bit before i logged out, y'know, to prove my point.

(they responded by banning me for two weeks, and did not patch their software. which, y'know, rip to them; they got hacked by an unrelated Turkish group two months later, and those dudes just straight-up deleted the whole website. i was a merciful god by comparison!)

anyway, even though downloading a perl script and just pointing it at a website isn't really "hacking" (it's the literal definition of script kiddie, heh)—the point is i was just experimenting a lot and trying a lot of stuff, which meant i was getting comfortable with thinking of software as not just some immutable relic, but something you can touch and prod in unexpected ways.

this dovetails into the next thing, which is like, just learn a lot of stuff. a boring conventional computer science degree will teach you a lot (provided you take it seriously and actually try to learn shit); alternatively, just taking the same classes as a boring conventional computer science degree, via edX or whatever free online thingy, will also teach you a lot. ("contributing to open source" also teaches you a lot but... hngh... is a whole can of worms; send a follow-up ask if you want that rant.)

here's where i should note that "hacking" is an impossibly broad category: the kind of person who knows how to fuck with website authentication tokens is very different than someone who writes a fuzzer, who is often quite different than someone who looks at the bug a fuzzer produces and actually writes a program that can exploit that bug... so what you focus on depends on what you're interested in. i imagine classes with names like "compilers," "operating systems," and "networking" will teach you a lot. but, like, idk, all knowledge is god-breathed and good for teaching. hell, i hear some universities these days have actual computer security classes? that's probably a good thing to look at, just to get a sense of what's out there, if you already know how to program.

also be comfortable with not knowing everything, but also, learn as you go. the bulk of my security knowledge came when i got kinda airdropped into a work team that basically hired me entirely on "potential" (lmao), and uh, prior to joining i only had the faintest idea what a hypervisor was? or the whole protection ring concept? or ioctls or sandboxing or threat models or, fuck, anything? i mostly just pestered people with like 800 questions and slowly built up a knowledge base, and remember being surprised & delighted when i went to a security conference a year later and could follow most of the talks, and when i wound up at a bar with a guy on the xbox security team and we compared our security models a bunch, and so on.  there wasn't a magic moment when i "got it", i was just like, "okay huh this dude says he found a ring-0 exploit... what does that mean... okay i think i got that... why is that a big deal though... better ask somebody.." (also: reading an occasional dead tree book is a good idea. i owe my firstborn to Robert Love's Linux Kernel Development, as outdated as it is, and also O'Reilly's kookaburra book gave me a great overview of web programming back in the day, etc.  you can learn a lot by just clicking around random blogs, but you’ll often end up with a lot of random little facts and no good mental scaffolding for holding it together; often, a decent book will give you that scaffolding.)

(also, it's pretty useful if you can find a knowledgable someone to pepper with random questions as you go. finding someone who will actively mentor you is tricky, but most working computery folks are happy to tell you things like "what you're doing is actually impossible, here's why," or "here's a tutorial someone told me was good for learning how to write a linux kernel module," or "here's my vague understanding of this concept you know nothing about," or "here's how you automate something to click on a link on a webpage," which tends to be handier than just google on its own.)

if you're reading this and you're like "ok cool but where's the part where i'm handed a computer and i gotta break in while going all hacker typer”—that's not the bulk of the work, alas! like, for sure, we do have fun pranking each other by trying dumb ways of stealing each other's passwords or whatever (once i stuck a keylogger in a dude's keyboard, fun times). but a lot of my security jobs have involved stuff like, "stare at this disassembly a long fuckin' time to figure out how the program pointer got all fucked up," or, "write a fuzzer that feeds a lot of randomized input to some C++ program, watch the program crash because C++ is a horrible language for writing software, go fix all the bugs," or "think Really Hard TM about all the settings and doohickeys this OS/GPU/whatever has, think about all the awful things someone could do with it, threat model and sandbox accordingly." occasionally i have done cool proof-of-concept hacks but honestly writing exploits can kinda be tedious, lol, so like, i'm only doing that if it's the only way i can get people to believe that Yes This Is Actually A Problem, Fix Your Code

"lua that's cool and all but i wanted, like, actual links and recommendations and stuff" okay, fair. here's some ideas:

microcorruption: very fun embedded security CTF; teaches you everything you need to know as you're doing it.

cryptopals crypto challenges: very fun little programming exercises that teach you a lot of fundamental cryptography concepts as you're going along! you can do these even as a bit of a n00b; i did them in Python for the lulz

the binary bomb lab is hilariously copied by, like, so many CS programs, lol, but for good reason. it's accessible and fun and is the first time most people get to feel like a real hacker! (requires you know a bit of C beforehand)

ctftime is a good way to see when new CTFs ("capture the flag"s; security-focused competitions) are coming up. or, sometimes CTFs post their source code, so you can continue trying them after the CTF is over. i liked Stripe's CTFs when they were going, because they focused on "web stuff", and "web stuff" was all i really knew at the time. if you're more interested in staring at disassembly, there's CTFs focused on that sort of thing too.

azeria has good ARM assembly & exploitation tutorials

also, like, lots of good talks out there; just watching defcon/cansecwest/etc talks until something piques your interest is very fun. i'd die on a battlefield for any of Christopher Domas's talks, but he assumes a lot of specific x86/OS knowledge, lol, so maybe don’t start with that. oh, Julia Evans's blog is honestly probably pretty good for just learning a lot of stuff and really beginner-friendly?

oh and wrt legality... idk, i haven't addressed it here since it hasn't come up in my own work much, tbh. if you're just getting started you're kind of unlikely to Break The Law without, y'know, realizing maybe you're doing something a bit gray-area? and you can cross that bridge when you come to it? Real Hacking TM is way more of a pain-in-the-ass than doing CTFs and such, and you'll learn way more with the latter, so who cares lol just do the fun thing

[jq37]

The Case File – Mice and Murder Ep 4

The Case of the Puzzling Painting 

Welcome back to Loam Hall where our Sylvan Sleuths are still hanging out in a room with a dead body. When we left off, Gangie had been snooping into Sly’s conversation about Fletcher Cottonbottom and now, he uses his Criminal Contacts feature to see what he knows, if anything, about a recent return. With a 26 he knows that his family used to be well respected but after the whole business with the insurance fraud and Sly busting it, the family kind of fell out of favor. So Fletcher was in a weird position where he was rich and a part of high society and had enough dirt on everyone to get them to do things for him but couldn’t actually show his face because he was disgraced. Gangie also knows that it’s rumored that Fletcher’s weapons running scheme was actually a front for moving art. 

With regard to more recent news about Fletcher, Gangie was never in direct contact with him but he knows that 3-4 years ago, his most trusted henchmen started going missing--people attributed it to some kind of “Cottonbottom Curse” and that rumor is part of why Gangie decided to get out of dodge in the first place.

Buck does an insight check on the rest of the PCs and, with an 18, doesn’t clock anyone there as especially suspicious (Lars isn’t there but like..it’s Lars). Ian tries to give Squire Badger his last rites but ends up pulling the knife out, putting it back in, flapping blood everywhere with his feathers, and sending Constance into a badger rage. Buck tries to help smooth over things, claiming his big screw up was a new style of avant garde church ritual (Ian appreciates the support--who ministers to the ministers, you know?) and in the process sees his knife for the first time. Which, you know. He obviously suspected before but never nice to see.

While this is going on, Daisy sneaks off to try and check on the secret door and everyone sees her do it/eventually follows her but we’ll get back to her once we check in with Lars who is en route to the kitchen. Once in the hallway, they do a perception check and, on a 15, there are 3 doors and Ally gets to pick one. There’s a kitchen where Gilfoyle is talking to a group, a door where someone is crying behind it, and a door where they can hear nothing. Ally, the galaxy brained genius, goes for the quiet door. That’s the money door and with their ears pressed against the door, they can hear Edwina and Carolyn--the two mice maids that overheard Buck’s conversation with the Badger--whispering about what happened there and wondering if they should pay back the money they were paid to by Buck.

Gilfoyle walks out and sees Lars snooping but on a Nat 20 deception check, Lars is able to play dumb and skate by suspiciousness. Also, with a dirty 20 perception check, when the mice maids leave, Lars sees that they’ve been stealing silverware. 

OK, back to Daisy who is getting to the séance room as quickly as possible. She has two rounds before people catch up to her so she’s trying to make the most of it by Investigating the painting she noticed was bolted to the wall earlier. She first rolls an 11, getting no new information. This is so frustrating to her. She’s good at this dammit! But being around Sly is rattling her terribly. She has feelings for him--strong ones. But she isn’t herself around him. How can she be with him if he makes her so unlike herself? Her introspection is enough to earn her advantage from Brennan on her second roll and boom! 25! Daisy is back. 

With that roll, she notices that the eyes in the painting actually move and can be used as a spying post on the other side. Then Sly runs in and they start bickering immediately. Daisy throws a crystal ball at him and absolutely brains him on a nat 20--the first combat roll of this very RP oriented season. 

Buck and Ian are still in the room with the body for the moment and Buck asks Ian about the first few names on the list Gangie gave him. There were a bunch of members of the Burrows family--a working class family that all died of a consumptive illness. And then the Diggories who died in a carriage accident. The connecting thread? All badgers. Buck then zooms away to follow Daisy, Ian follows, and Lars, seeing them as they leave the kitchens, also follows. 

So all the PCs are in the séance room now and they kinda have the sense of, “OK y’all, we’re all screwed but we’re al screwed together so we better throw our lot in with each other and start working together so we don’t die because no one else here is on our side.” Buck proposes an alliance and they all agree to share info. Sly asks about Buck’s knife and Buck admits it’s his but says he didn’t do it. Sly believes him--not because he wouldn’t do it but because he has no motive (that he knows about anyway. Buck doesn’t spill about the contract). 

Gangie shares the list of names from before with the whole group.It’s like half badgers and then some other critters (full list here). Sly doesn’t share any of his secret info Grant got texted. Daisy and Buck don’t share about the key (though Sly you’ll remember sat her steal it). Buck does however mention his suspicion about the fact that Gilfoyle wasn’t around when Squire Badger gave his speech and Daisy does the same about the fact that he said he would call the cops but the cops haven’t arrived yet. Lar’s remembers that Jez’s husband is gunning for at seat in parliament and wonders if this is related somehow. Daisy mentions the eyes in the painting and everyone is like way to bury the lede dude! Especially when they’ve just all spilled their secrets. Everyone checks on the painting and with a 25 Gangie can intuit that this is probably used to spy on rich people when they’re mid-séance and vulnerable and spilling secrets (which he doesn’t share but Daisy comes to a similar conclusion on her own). Buck on a 23 can smell ledgers (idk how but the DM said so and I’m reporting it) and guesses that that’s where the Squire’s real office is which means that’s probably where the contract he needs to find and destroy is too. 

 The group makes a list of their loose ends which are what’s on the other side of the painting, what’s up with Fletcher, and the smell of ozone. Plus Ian remembers that the date on the bust in the study is wrong and shares with the class. 

Lars tries to get to the other side of the room by ripping the painting off the hinges with a very impressive 26 but there is fully a wall behind it and the noise brings Gilfoyle, Harding, and the Badger kids running. Lars notes that in the stone behind the painting it says “⅓”  and then hurriedly puts the painting back. Daisy thinks that might refer to a secret third floor or basement accessible by the elevator (but my first thought was that there were 2 other spying paintings in the house somewhere).

Everyone in the room hears the Gilfoyle and co. coming and try to act natural. There is a group stealth check that they all tank so heavily that all the suspicious staff and kids need to do to suss them out is roll above a 5.

AND THEY ROLL A TWO. 

With that, Lucretia appears, totally buys that they’re doing very important spiritual work in there, and in fact guards the door for them. They use the privacy bought by their very vigilant sentry to plan their next steps. Sly, Daisy, and Ian will check out the study while they rest of them check out the elevator. As they exit, Lucretia asks if they got the answers they needed out of the spirits.

Oh yes, says Daisy, echoing Lucretia’s nonsense prediction from last episode. Either something good or bad might happen. Either way, I’m excited! 

Case Notes

How baller of a player move is it to say a line so poignant that the DM is forced to let you roll with advantage? I have been on the other side of that as the DM and it’s so great. MAD respect to Rekha for that. AND THEN THE DICE COOPERATED. You simply love to see it. 

The other best Rekha line is Daisy to Sly upon being called out about stealing the key in his normal, coy, quippy way: You saw me bitch.

Shout out to Grant also for being constantly on as Sly. The guy is on point always. Impeccable.

I am SO SO SO happy Daisy and Sly are on the same mission team. If I was friends with either of them I’d be like, “This is a toxic relationship, they make you too crazy.” But as an outside viewer I want them to be within crystal ball throwing distance always.  

The question I’m sure we’re all asking: Is Brennan enough of a minx to invoke the butler did it trope? I know everyone at the table is thinking it even if none of them have said it outright. I figured the reason the cops haven’t showed up yet was the storm but who knows?

Two pieces of housekeeping, only Buck and Gangie know what the room behind the painting is with their high rolls and, after the bit of passing it back and forth with Buck, Daisy has the key. 

I really can’t do the bit about Gangie’s mom justice. I wish there was a comedy Emmy for actual play DnD shows so D20 could get the accolades it deserves just for that bit. 

Brennan indicated that the conversation between the mice maids was the most interesting info (Gilfoyle convo to staff was too public to be juicy/they could get the info from one of the many gathered staff people and crying is info on its own--though I am curious about who the crying person was) but I’m wondering what he meant by that. Because the fact that Buck paid them might be interesting if Buck did it. But we know he didn’t. Is it the fact that they were in the room at all? Again, info that the party knows if not Lars specifically.  The fact that they were stealing silverware? What’s Brennan’s game here?

[twdeadlysins]

Don’t Listen

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader 

Word Count: 2.9k

Summary: The Governor wants information and will do whatever it takes to get it from you and Daryl. // Set during Season 3

Request: Could I request a Daryl x Reader with the prompt “How come she loves you?” Where basically the Governor has captured them both at some point during season 3 and is trying to get them both to talk. Daryl and the reader can each hear what is happening to the other, and the Governor tries some emotional manipulation by saying the prompt. Then Rick&Co come to rescue them and they have a tearful reunion. If you decide to write this thank you! Your fanfics are the best ❤❤  // @harpersmariano

Warnings: angst, fluff, abuse (physically + mentally), the usual walking dead themes, and possible typos by yours truly 

A/N: I apologize for the wait! I changed this fic SOOO many times because there were so many routes I could take with it. 

The gifs I use aren’t mine, so all credit goes to their respective owners.

MASTERLIST

The constant shouts, grunts, and the deafening sound of fists colliding with skin made you viciously thrash against your restraints. The rope that bound your wrists was harshly rubbing against your sweaty skin as you used all your strength to lift them, hoping to somehow break free. 

It was useless, you were very aware. 

There was no way you could tear the material just by tugging on it, but you refused to sit there and do nothing while Daryl was relentlessly getting beat on for information.

You and the hunter were on a supply run specifically looking for baby formula for the newest addition to the group, while also keeping an eye out for anything else that could be useful. After you had walked out the store with what you needed and some other necessities, you were met with a gun and a familiar face.  

Merle Dixon. 

The presumed dead redneck had grabbed you and placed the weapon to the side of your temple before Daryl stepped out the door, having no choice but to abide by his brother’s commands. 

You arrived at a town and were discreetly guided to a building where they separated you from your lover. The wall was super thin, so you heard every sound that was emitted from the room. You’d bet that you could hear a pin drop from where you were seated. 

Silence. 

The methods of getting information were no more, which left you confused as you halted your struggle. Were you supposed to feel relieved or worried? Did they leave and give Daryl a break or did they end it and kill him? 

Before you could ask if he was okay, there was sudden noise of someone fiddling with the door knob to unlock it. Your head whipped to the sound that was once trained on the wall beside you, waiting with an anxious, but curious gaze as to who would step through. The numerous failed attempts of breaking free, and the unknown of who was behind the door and what would happen to you made your chest heave, replacing air faster than the punches that were thrown in the other room. 

When the door swiftly opened, your blood began to boil, orbs filling with rage that replaced your anxiety. The amount of hatred that spilled from you prompted you to clench your teeth, refraining yourself from snarling at the man that strided in the room with pride and a smile plastered on his face. 

He pulled a wooden chair out with the back facing you, situating himself before he nonchalantly rested his forearms on the top. 

“Got yer panties in a bunch, sweetheart?” 

“Shut up, Merle.” 

You had no patience for his bullshit and since he was in such a fantastic mood, you assumed Daryl was alright. Despite Merle letting them torment his brother, he would be devastated if he was hurt beyond return. 

His features crinkled with amusement as a chuckle rumbled through him, which earned you to scoff and roll your eyes, not finding anything humorous. 

“Yer a feisty one, can’t believe my baby brother got a fine piece of ass like yerself.” He laughed once again, making you furrow your brows as a question swirled in your head, despite wanting to drop kick him for that comment.  

“Speakin’ of your brother, why are you letting them do this to him? Thought you were supposed to protect him? You're his big brother.” 

His smirk morphed into confidence. “M’baby brother tough, but he’ll eventually cave. Always does. We were plannin’ on robbin’ the group blind and leavin’ before y’all even knew what hit ya. But y’all left me on that roof before we could, leavin’ me to do this.” Merle lifted his arm, presenting the creation that was made to replace his hand. “So I doubt it’ll take long for him to rat where yer keepin’ each other warm at night,” he said through a smile.  

He was alive, that was your confirmation. You didn’t care about their plan, it wasn’t news to you. Daryl had admitted their intention with the group to you during the winter months when you had to travel to different places to find shelter.  

Your head tilted as you hummed in disagreement. “Don’t think so. Daryl isn’t the quiet, obedient follower you knew — that you turned him into. He’s helpful, reliable, strong, smart, a leader, and much more, but most importantly he’s himself — something he masked to please you.” 

Before the older Dixon could retort, a muffled cough came from the other room followed by a voice. The voice of his torturer. He was elated that Daryl was finally awake and ready to resume their previous activities, except physical torture wasn’t on the agenda anymore it seemed. 

“So you and — what’s her name?”

Nothing. 

You could only imagine Daryl’s reaction. He was very protective over you, so you knew he was clamping his jaw shut — trying his hardest not to give in.

“Ah! Y/N, that’s it. You and her a couple?” 

It fell quiet once again, which only encouraged the man to push further. 

“Gotta speak up, Daryl,” his voice boomed. “Cause I’m gonna take your silence as a no and walk in that room. Show her who a real man is.” His voice was taunting and whispery towards the end, making you assume he moved to speak behind the archer, right next to his ear. 

“Don’ ya touch her,” Daryl grunted and you heard the chair scrape against the floor.

You were his weakness and it was a conflicting feeling.

He wouldn’t let anyone hurt you, he would do anything to protect you — he loved you. Daryl didn’t have to say those three words for you to know, he easily did it by his actions or with different words like the ones he just spoke. 

But if the wrong people knew, you were in a great deal of trouble like you were in now. 

The man in charge was going to use your relationship to his advantage, to get what he wanted. Although you didn’t want him to know where your family was, you also didn’t want Daryl to get hurt anymore than he already had — but you’d have to cooperate for that to happen. 

“Just gimme what I want n’ I won’t touch a hair on her pretty lil’ head.” 

You closed your eyes, hoping he wouldn’t reveal the location. Although you had faith in Daryl that he wouldn’t utter a word, there was a chance he would confess so nothing was inflicted upon you. If the roles were reversed, you would do the same, so you didn’t blame him one bit.

When his offer didn’t receive an answer, you let go the breath you were holding and slowly opened your eyes, giving Merle a side-eye when he tsked and shook his head that his brother still wasn’t giving in. 

Before you could make a snide comment towards the one-handed man, you heard the leader tell Daryl that he had enough, he wasn’t going to wait anymore — that he was going to pay you a visit. That had finally gotten a rise out of your boyfriend, he was yelling and violently twisting in his seat, spilling threats. 

“It’s okay, Daryl!” You had screamed over his protests and brutal promises, you couldn’t let him cave because it was your turn. He was strong, he took the physical pain while you dealt with it mentally and emotionally. The roles were going to be flipped, but it didn’t matter, you still weren’t going to say anything.

“Don’t give in, don’t give in for me, please,” you begged, not getting an answer — just silence. It was better that way, he wasn’t stopping it — wasn’t offering his compliance to the leader. 

Merle stood up and turned the chair around to face you before opening the door, finally revealing the face behind the voice that hurt the man you loved. The older Dixon left, leaving you alone and for once in your life, you wanted Merle to stay. 

The man in charge introduced himself as the Governor while he slowly stepped to take a seat in front of you, acting as if he didn’t just come out of the room Daryl was in — the room that he beat and taunted him in. 

Before the so called Governor could continue, you interrupted him, tired of the long game. “I don’t care what you have to say. I’m not going to tell you jackshit, so go ahead and do whatever you gotta do to me.” 

He chuckled with his arms crossed, his eyes crinkling with amusement. “Is that what you want?” He curiously asked, getting up and squatting down to your eye level with a smirk still etched on his face.

Smiling sadistically, you leaned forward as much as you could, mere inches from his face. “Can’t let my boyfriend get all the fun, now can I?”

Of course you didn’t want to get tortured, but you weren’t going to let him think he had all the power — he wasn’t going to get anything from hurting you. You were scared, but you weren’t going to show him — you were going to mask it. 

It went on for what felt like hours. The Governor had punched, slapped, and cut while he berated you, your group, your relationship, and Daryl. In the beginning you retorted back to him, but the energy you once had dwindled. 

After a few good hits, blood filled your mouth, making you choke on your own words despite the amount of times you had spit it out. You had heard Daryl shout for him to stop, but your torturer paid no mind to him. His pleas were soon drowned out by the thumping in your ears and the Governor screaming that you were nothing, that the group was better off and weren’t looking for you. 

The Governor stumbled back as he tried to regain his breath, leaving you on the ground still tied to the chair. Once you weakly turned your head to the side to get rid of the liquid that collected in your mouth, you let out a laugh. “Is… is that all you got?” 

He let out a grunt before heading out the door. 

“Nope, I got somethin’ else.” 

You heard the door to the other room open followed by a chuckle. 

“Y/N is something else, I’ll tell you. What I don’t get is why she’s with someone like you?” 

“Shut up,” you muttered under your breath. 

“How come she loves you?” The Governor questioned. “She got tortured ‘cause of you — ‘cause you wouldn’t comply.”

“Shut up!” you weakly defended before coughing up more blood. 

“Something so simple and you couldn’t do it to spare her the pain! It’s all your fault, so why does she love you? Someone who let this happen to her? Someone who’s weak and not worth a damn of her time!” He screamed, getting louder with each sentence he spoke. 

“Don’t listen! Don’t listen to him, Daryl! This isn’t your fault!”

“You’re weak — you’re a coward — you don’t deserve her or the blood she’s spilled for you! Why does she love you, huh?” 

What you didn’t expect was Daryl’s response. 

“I don’ know why!”  

You froze at his answer, not understanding why he would say something like that. Did he really believe that he wasn’t worthy of your love? That he wasn’t good enough? 

Your heart shattered at the insecurities he held. 

“Merle,” you heard the Governor say before silence followed.

Next thing you knew, the older Dixon entered and paused, taking in your state before picking up your chair. He sliced your restraints and gently grabbed onto your arm, dragging you out the room.   

Another door opened and you caught a glimpse of Daryl at the end of a long table. He was tied to a chair with fresh tears streaming down his battered face, he looked so tired and worn, your heart ached at the sight — the same for him seeing what The Governor had done to you. 

Unknownst to you, the Governor gave Merle a look and the redneck reluctantly pushed you onto your knees, making you fumble, but you never tore your eyes off of Daryl. The Governor told Merle to leave as a gun was cocked and you didn’t have to take a peek to know that the weapon was pointed down at your head. 

“No!” Daryl cried out, wide-eyed at the scene in front of him. 

“Tell me where you and your group are staying at or I’ll blow her brains out,” he threatened. 

The hunter slowly connected his teary orbs with yours.

“Don’t tell him. It’s okay,” you put on a smile, despite the tears that wanted to spill. “I love you, Daryl. Don’t you ever forget that.” 

You closed your eyes, waiting for the bastard to pull the trigger, but Daryl hurriedly shouted out the location. 

You let out a breath and cried, trying to muffle your sobs with your hand. 

You weren’t mad at Daryl or disappointed, you would’ve done the same if a gun was pointed at his head. All you felt was relief. Death was far from what you wanted, but if that was the outcome to protect Daryl and the group — so be it.  

“The prison? That place is overrun. How’d you manage to clear that place out? How many people are in your group?” The Governor asked in bewilderment. 

“Eleven,” Daryl replied, not skipping a beat.  

The Governor was amused by that number, not believing eleven people cleared the prison to be suitable to live in. He removed the gun aimed at your head, switching on the safety before placing it back in his holster. 

“Kill them both and don’t tell Merle,” you heard him order someone when he opened the door. 

Although your body screamed at you not to, you pushed yourself up and sprinted towards Daryl, throwing your arms around his neck to clutch onto him. Your fingers were carded in his hair as he buried his face into the spot between your neck and shoulder, apologizing to you over and over again. 

You withdrew and grabbed his face, forcing him to look at you with his guilt-ridden eyes.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, you hear me? You’re the strongest, bravest person I know and I’m lucky to call you mine. I love you,” you assured him before pressing your lips to his. 

Once you rested your forehead on his, a hand snaked around your waist and vigorously pulled you back, making you shout in denial. 

“Let me go!” 

You thrashed against the man that held you while another man cut Daryl free to take him too, but the hunter was quick and punched the guy in the face. 

The man that had you in his grasp hesitated, conflicted on whether he should help with Daryl or continue taking you. You used the opportunity to elbow him in the stomach before grabbing his arm, twisting it back and kicking his leg so he would kneel down. 

Before you knew it, two more men with guns came into the room and pointed it at you, forcing you to let go of the advantage you both had. 

They compelled both of you to your knees next to each other and that was when you knew that you were done for. 

That this was it.

“I love ya,” Daryl whispered and you both instinctively laced your hands together before your vision of each other was blocked by a bag going over your head.

The grip he had on your hand was strong, but eventually they pried your hands apart and you whimpered, instantly missing his touch. Despite the life-threatening predicament you were in, you felt safe by the hunter’s side. Not being able to see him or feel his warmth stripped that security away as they began tying your hands together. 

You could hear Daryl grunt and struggle, not making it easy on your captors as someone guided you forward and you assumed out of the room before something loud went off, making everyone halt their movements and panic. You yanked the bag off your head to see smoke and — Rick?

He grabbed your bounded hands and cut them before quickly taking you out onto the street, sneaking down it with the others close behind to an empty building. 

Once you entered the vacant building, your legs gave out, causing you to make contact with the floor. Daryl was by your side in a matter of seconds, checking you out and making sure you were okay. 

The look on his face made you caress his cheek, his eyes held guilt, so you shook your head, silently communicating with him. It caused him to divert his orbs to Rick who was trying to come up with a plan as he cautiously looked out the window. 

The events of what happened and what could’ve been caught up with you as you stared at Daryl. You choked back a sob at the thought of losing him mere moments ago and wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your head in his neck. 

He wasted no time in securing one arm around your waist and the other to cradle the back of your head. He soothed circles on your back and pressed a lingering kiss on the side of your temple while Rick and the others decided on what to do next.  

You both almost met death and the last thing you wanted to do was to let go of the love of your life, but that was what motivated you to push forward. 

To live and fight for not only yourself, but for Daryl and your family so you would never have to let go. 

TAGLIST:  @jodiereedus22​ @sourwolf-sterek32​ @haleypearce​ @gruffle1​ @lonewolf471​ @dashesoflipstick​ @aristocracy-y​ @harpersmariano​ @maydayfigment​ @yes-sir-hotchner

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Lol, all the new info about the solangelo and delix kids made me want to have a fic just about them. So I was wondering if that would be possible? xD

Hello, Anon!

I know it has been forever since you sent this prompt, but it wasn't forgotten!

I hope this is worth the wait

_____________________________________________________

The Kids

· Because Solangelo and Delix both set down in California, Solangelo in New Rome and Delix stays in Northern California; they see each other a lot, as do their kids.

· The fact that Michael and Lee (Nico and Will's twins) and Mason (Felix and Dean's son) are a little more than a year apart just added to their drive to get together as a family. The kids could entertain each other, and they always got along well. The twins were challenging to entertain when they were little, so this is a big deal.

· Will and Dean always figured the three of them would always get along because, well, that was how they were, but Nico and Felix had their doubts. They figured that as the three got older and if (when) the twins started showing their demigod powers that they would drift.

· Nico and Felix turned out to be completely wrong, and the three just got closer as they got older.

· You would think, since Mason is the oldest of the three, he would take on the leadership role in the group, but that isn't how it works out. Mason is a pretty even-keeled kid. He definitely got Dean's tendency to want to put his head down and do his work. He can and does take the leadership role during team things like sports but not when the twins are involved.

· The twins are a damn handful from the moment they are born, and they never really change. Both of them are outgoing in their own ways. Lee is more competitive and will jump at the opportunity to take on a challenge, while Michael is more social- he can (and will) start a conversation with pretty much anyone he meets. The two are also a perfect storm of trouble because Michael will come up with an idea like they should buy fake ids and sneak into a club, and Lee will view it as a challenge, so he wants to do it, and they will absolutely find a way to talk Mason into joining them. Mason definitely tries his hardest to keep them out of trouble and manages to be at least somewhat successful sixty-five percent of the time.

· The twins love showing up at Mason's mortal school events, so even though they do not go there, most of Mason's classmates recognize them. They are also pretty much honorary members of Mason's lacrosse team. While Mason gives them shit for being menaces, he really likes when they show up, it definitely stops things from getting boring.

· Mason visits New Roman as well, even though not as much because going to New Roman can be a process as a mortal going to New Roman. Still, he has teamed up with the twins and a few of the other children of the seven around their age to case a little harmless trouble on the weekend.

· Btw, Dean has had several conversations with a teenage Mason about precisely what to do if he finds himself being hit on by a horny god (with very specific things to say to Apollo or Dionysus). Mason considers these the most embarrassing conversations he has ever had with his days. It's bad enough that his middle-aged dads still act like teenagers half the time and CAN'T keep their hands off each other. He doesn't want to hear about how Greek gods had tried to bone them back in the day. Grandpa Solace jumping in with "Just remember, Apollo isn't nearly as good in bed as he claims, and you can take my word for it" doesn't help with the awkwardness. He would rather have to go through the birds and bees talk a million times over.

· All three of these boys are NOT STRAIGHT. Michael is gay, while both Lee and Mason are bisexual. It's hard to say that Michael or Lee "came out" because it happened so organically. There was no sit everyone down and tell them moment. Instead, it was just "I LIKE like that boy" or "that boy is really cute" when they were like twelve. Mason takes FOREVER to admit this to himself and even longer to admit it to anyone else. Michael and Lee KNOW way before Mason admits to anything, and neither of them lets him hid from it. Lee tries the comforting approach hoping Mason will admit it while Michael goes more the exposure therapy route- he'll point out cute guys and ask what Mason thinks. He tricked Mason into going to a few gay events without Mason knowing until it was too late to back out.

· FYI, Mason comes out to Lee first, but only because they get into a fight because Lee is flirting with a boy; Mason secretly has a massive crush on (or at least he thinks it's a secret, but everyone can tell). Michael is solidly pissed about this for months, but that doesn't stop him from trying to play matchmaker.

Dribble:

The rain had stopped, and Mason supposed he should have been happy about that, but the lingering sense of tension and danger made it hard to appreciate. He, Michael, and Lee had already walked one block north of Gypsy Bar, and Mason was hoping as they put even more distance between themselves and the bar that sense of unease would dissipate at least a little.

They had been walking in silence for several minutes. That was a rare thing, and Mason hoped it meant that it was one of those rare occasions that his cousins were thinking about how horrible their idea had been, but Lee killed that hope the moment he opened his mouth.

"Well, we had to try," Lee declared.

Mason looked over and up because, of course, Lee was at least three inches taller than him. That would have been more annoying if Mason was at all insecure about his height, but at six foot he was comfortable. Also, he had a couple of inches on Michael, which helped.

Lee's hair looked practically white instead of its usual light blonde under the street lights' harsh glare, and his complexion seemed extra fair. Even his freckles were lost in the artificial light. Not surprisingly, there wasn't a single sign of worry on his face.

Maybe if Mason had Greek god powers, he would have been relaxed too, but he didn't. That call for adventure that Lee and Michael had just seemed like asking for trouble to Mason, the mere mortal. "Not with the worse fake IDs in history," Mason pointed out yet again.

"They were not that bad!" Michael was quick to defend.

This was not the first time Mason had heard that, and it didn't make it any less ridiculous. One of Michael and Lee's dads was literally a doctor that could heal people by touching them. There was no fucking excuse for their inability to see what was right in front of them. Why Michael had even bought the IDs, having seen them, Mason would never understand.

"They looked like they were hand-drawn by a preschool," Mason pointed out, "And the names were ridiculous."

"Pictures didn't look much like us," Lee agreed.

Michael let out a long, loud sigh, pushed a dark strand of hair that had fallen out of his ponytail and into his eye line, and tucked it behind his ear. While Lee looked like the stereotypical California surfer dude, Michael almost looked Mediterranean. He had light brown hair that he had grown out over the last year and now almost exclusively wore tied up, and he naturally had a more tan, almost olive complexion. Even with the differences, it was impossible not to recognize the two as twins immediately. They both had the same sharp facial features, lean and athletic builds, and light blue eyes.

Mason was the obvious odd man out in the group. His hair was somewhere between a light brown and a dark blonde, and his eyes were hazel rather than blue. His build was boxier, and he was definitely wider in the shoulders than his cousins, but that might have been because he had been playing lacrosse since he was eight. His facial features were also a little more square and angular. It might not have been a stretch to believe the three of them were related, but no one was going to mistake them for triplets.

"Okay, that is enough with the pouting," Michael declared with just a little bit of annoyance in his voice. Mason was a little surprised it had taken that long because usually, the more outrageous and destined to fail one of Michael's plans were, the more annoyed he got when it did, in fact, fail. "At least we got a fun story out of it," he stated.

Knowing Michael, he really did see that as a win which was crazy. Mason fucking loved his cousins. They were literally his best friends and really always had been, but sometimes they were crazy to be around. Mason put that on all the demigod stuff. After all, if you have literally trained to fight monsters since you were a little kid getting fake IDs and trying to sneak into a twenty-one and over club probably didn't sound all that crazy.

Mason wasn't exactly a fucking nun. Sneaking into a bar didn't sound completely crazy but trying to get into a bar known for checking IDs with comically bad fake IDs did.

"We are lucky they didn't call the police," Mason pointed out flatly. The bouncer had decided to take pity on them for some reason after giving them one hell of a fucking lecture, and Mason would forever be grateful. "Or worse, our parents," he added with a shutter.

"What are you worried about?" Lee asked with a laugh, "Uncle Dean and Uncle Felix would have been totally cool."

Mason gave Lee a serious look. "Nothing about my parents is cool," he stated firmly, "No matter how many people say otherwise."

"You really are a master of denial," Lee commented teasingly before patting his shoulder and adding, "It's kind of impressive."

The fact was Mason was well aware that his dads were pretty cool. If they had been called and told Mason had been caught with a fake ID trying to sneak into a bar, they probably wouldn't have even yelled at him. Neither of them were big yellers. Mason would have gotten one hell of a disapproving lecture which Mason was convinced was worse than yelling ever could be. He definitely would have lost a whole bunch of privileges for the foreseeable future.

Unfortunately, Mason had been hearing about how cool his dads were since he could remember. The fact that Felix getting early releases of video games all the time helped. Dean always bringing Mason and his friends for ice cream after practice when he was younger didn't hurt. As he got older, he just became the one with the cool parents in all his friend groups. It got old after a while, and that was before the term DILF started getting thrown around.

He would have been more annoyed if it was anyone besides Lee and Michael. They had it just as bad as he did, even if it was slightly different. Uncle Nico was practically a legion among Demigods for all the questing he did as a teenager, and even if he had just sat on his ass, he was still the son of Hades, which was a big thing. Uncle Will didn't have the history with all the questing, but he played an important role in some battle, which was enough to give him some fame. The twins had to deal with their fair share of people going full-on hero-worship over their dads, and then there was the fact that Uncle Nico had worked as a model for like five years.

Mason might not have been truly pissed off, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to flip Lee off for that comment. He did grin as he did it, at least so it was clear that it was all good.

They had walked about half a block as they had talked, and they made it about a block more in silence before Michael huffed. "So what are we going to do now?" he asked. Mason went to answer but barely got an opportunity to take a breath before Michael held up a finger to cut him off. "And the answer of going home is not allowed, so just don't even say it," he stated firmly.

Mason didn't get why going home, playing video games, ordering a pizza, and hanging out was such a bad idea. His dads were out on a date night, so they probably would have had the house to themselves, not that that mattered. According to Michael, that was just not an acceptable way for them to spend their evening, and in fairness, he had made that clear before then. That didn't mean that wasn't exactly what Mason had been prepared to suggest, but he wasn't really surprised that Michael warned him not to before he got a chance.

Mason stopped and looked around to get a feel for where they were. Since they were in West Berkeley, it was more his stomping ground rather than the twins. If it were New Rome, the twins would have a list of places they could go and things they could do, so he guessed it was on him to at least come up with one suggestion.

If he was honest, he only had a vague idea of where they were, and it wasn't a part of the city he visited often, so he didn't have the best idea of what was around. Ultimately, he went with the first thing that came to mind. "There is a really cool vintage bookstore like two blocks from here," he stated, pointing in the direction he thought it was.

It might have been the first thing he had thought of, but Mason didn't think it was a half-bad idea. He had been to the place a few times with Dean because Dean had a radar for little bookstores, and it didn't matter what they were doing or where they were supposed to be; he had to go in. It was such a well-known fact that Felix always looked up where bookstores were when they went on vacation so they could plan when they went. The little bookstore that Mason couldn't remember the name of had actually been pretty cool.

"You found an answer worse than go home," Michael commented flatly, "Why do you hurt me like this?"

Mason rolled his eyes because now Michael was just overdramatic. "They serve coffee and stuff," he informed.

"Coffee actually sounds pretty fucking good," Lee admitted, which was a good sign. Of the two, Michael always wanted to do something big and over-the-top. Lee could be like that sometimes, but he was more likely to see reason when Michael was just suggesting something crazy. Usually, if Mason could get Lee on his side, he had a chance. If Lee backed Michael's idea, then it was only a matter of time before Mason agreed to whatever insanity had been planned.

Michael stared between Mason and Lee with clear disapproval. "We can not go from trying to sneak into a 21 and over club to drinking coffee in a used bookstore," he stated with disgust before just shaking his head with disappointment, "Honestly, what is wrong with you two?"

"Okay," Lee declared, managing to sound just as unamused by Michael as Michael was with them. Lee was infinitely better at dealing with his brother when he was being dramatic than Mason was. "How about we go into that pizza place-" he pointed past Mason toward a small pizza place just across the street from where they were standing, "-and talk to the cute girls that are walking in."

"Well, that doesn't sound like fun for me!" Michael grumbled as he turned and assessed the option for a split second. "Oh, there is a couple of boys that could be cute! I don't hate that idea."

Mason gave in and turned to see what they were talking about and immediately wanted to crawl into a hole and die. "Oh my god, could you too stop staring," he hissed as he turned his back on the scene and hoped no one saw him.

They should have gone to New Rome.

Of course, both Michael and Lee were staring at him, and he knew they were going to ask. Neither of them was precisely known for letting things go either.

"What?" Mason shrugged, sounding more defensive than he meant to, "They are people from my school."

Michael and Lee exchanged a look that was never a good thing. It was one of those weird twin silent communication things they would do, and it usually meant they were about to tag team, Mason. It never worked out well.

"You know them?" Michael asked, although he managed to give the question far more weight than such a simple question should have had.

Lee was even less subtle as he stared at Mason with obvious suspicion, "How come we don't know them?"

Obviously, Michael and Lee didn't go to Mason's high school because they were in New Rome, but they hung around with Mason enough that they knew all of Mason's school friends and a fair number of his classmates. It wasn't necessarily weird that they didn't know someone that Mason knew from school, but it was a more rare occurrence. On this specific occasion, it actually made a lot of sense because they were people Mason only recently started getting to know.

"It looked like Theo and a few of the other kids from the theater club," Mason explained. Mason was not a theater kid. Even if he had wanted to be, he never would have had time with lacrosse and soccer. Since he was a junior and apparently would benefit from diversifying his afterschool activities (so saith his guidance counselor), he joined the AV club and somehow ended up helping with the school play, so he got to know some of the theater kids over the last few months. Not a big deal in the slightest. "And for the record, you two aren't entitled to know all my school friends," he pointed out just to prove a point.

Michael and Lee exchanged another look.

"Theo?" Lee questioned.

"Interesting," Michael commented.

Mason's heart jumped into his throat. Had he said that name? He hadn't meant to, but it must have just slipped out. He was absolutely fucked because the twins weren't going to let that go, and that was the last thing Mason needed. Theo was just a dude with great hair that made Mason feel weird sometimes, and he didn't want to talk about that.

Play it cool, Mason told himself through his internal panic. He shrugged, which felt like the most unnatural gesture ever. "He hangs out with a lot of the AV kids helping with the play," he explained. More accurately, he hung around many band kids helping with the play, and Mason had to adjust the audio equipment a fair amount. After talking a few times, Mason may have invited him to hang out with the AV kids, and the guy took him up on that. There was no fucking way he was telling Lee and Michael that story. "I've learned his name. It isn't a big deal," he stated. That at least was true, and no one would convince Mason otherwise.

Michael and Lee were silent for a long moment, just staring at him before Michael broke the silence. "You know what? Pizza sounds fantastic," He declared before turning on his heels and starting across the street. He was halfway across before he called over his shoulder, "And I love a good theater club. Always fun gays."

Lee patted Mason on the shoulder, which turned into him practically pushing Mason forward toward the pizza shop. "So, which one is Theo exactly," Lee asked in a mischievous tone.

Now Mason wished their wrong fake IDs had worked.