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boasamishipper · 3 years

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otp questions for icemav of course, but also harry/perry from kiss kiss bang bang

1. Are they more “cute forehead kisses” or “hot making out” kind of couple? Maybe one prefers first option and the other one the second? How do they deal, in that case?

Ice and Mav are more of a "hot making out" kind of couple when they first get together, but as the years go by they develop a fondness for cute forehead kisses and the like as well - especially once they're married and can engage in the occasional public display of affection. Mav likes it when Ice kisses him on the nose and on the forehead, and Ice is a fan of cheek kisses and neck kisses, and both enjoy making out lol. Whatever feels most natural at the moment is what they go for.

Harry and Perry are definitely a "hot making out" kind of couple - the more cutesy types of kisses aren't really their thing, especially not in public. Occasionally Harry will bring Perry his morning coffee and kiss him on the forehead, or on the top of his head, and Perry will do his utmost to pretend not to like it.

2. If they wanted to shower their significant other with affection, how would they do that? Dinner in some fancy restaurant, gift, kisses and cuddles or an evening together on a couch with hot tea and very intimate talk?

Mav would treat Ice to dinner in a fancy restaurant, followed by a romantic evening featuring wine and rose petals between the bedsheets. Ice would cook Mav's favorite meal and they'd either go out for a night on the town or they'd spend the evening together at home with a stupid movie on TV (while they make out and/or have sex on the couch).

Perry is not really one to shower anybody with big displays of affection, least of all his significant other - with Harry, he shows his affection through touch (holding hands, kisses, embraces, cuddling, etc.), and calls him an idiot a little less often (or just with more fondness than normal). Harry tries now and then to shower Perry with big displays of affection, except in typical Harry fashion his attempts always end in disaster - his gift is stolen, his dinner reservation is canceled, Perry and Harry are kidnapped by the people they're investigating on their way to go to the theater, and so on and so forth. Perry likes old musicals, expensive whiskey, and Harry. Harry does his best to provide.

3. Are they comfortable with showing each other affection in public? If one is and the other one not, how do they interact in public?

Ice and Mav become more comfortable with PDA after they get married - Ice takes a little longer to get used to actually being able to show Mav affection in public, to just be out after so long in the closet, but Mav is patient with him and helps him loosen up. Their PDA doesn't really go further than chaste kisses and holding hands, at least at work functions (where at least half of Mav's sentences start with My husband and I); when they're with friends Mav will put his head against Ice's shoulder when they're seated, maybe sit in his lap as a joke, or Ice will stroke Mav's hair, kiss his hairline.

Perry thinks PDA is stupid until Harry gets flirted with one too many times in front of him; after that, Perry makes a habit out of touching Harry in some capacity, kissing Harry in public, flirting with him, but after a while it becomes less out of jealousy / staking his claim and more of something he actually enjoys doing. Harry flirts right back - he has an entire notebook's worth of pet names for Perry (ranging from baby to Per-bear) - and is pleased that his not-so-evil scheme of being flirted with in front of Perry resulted in Perry being more affectionate with him in public.

4. Do they have pet names? Do they like to embarrass each other in front of their friends/family/coworkers with some silly ones? Or do they keep it with basics, like “sweetheart” or “honey”?

Mav and Ice occasionally call each other by their ranks - mostly as foreplay - and 'baby' when they're feeling particularly romantic, but Mav and Ice are usually just Mav and Ice or Mitchell and Kazansky with one another and in front of their friends/family/coworkers.

Perry and Harry's list of pet names for one another are Varied. There are the tried and trues baby and sweetheart, and fond versions of idiot, dick, asshole, pretentious fuck, moron, and stupid fuck, and (in Harry's case, because Perry Will Not Do This) pet versions of their real names, e.g. Per or Per-Bear.

5. If one of them was away for longer time, like a week, how their significant other would greet them back?

Mav and Ice would do their best to keep in touch while the other was away, and would greet the other with Much Enthusiasm when they'd return. Afterwards, to celebrate the other's return, they'd go out to dinner, or take a couple day vacation, or just go straight to bed together and celebrate Properly in the morning. Either way sex is definitely involved.

Harry is more enthusiastic when Perry returns after being away for a longer time - he gets the house clean and/or the office in order and then pretty much jumps Perry the second he gets through the door. (Not that Perry minds.) Perry tries to play it blasé when Harry comes back from an extended trip - he pretends to not have remembered Harry's arrival date, when he's had it circled on his calendar from pretty much the second Harry walked out the door - but is absolutely terrible at it. That blasé attitude lasts about five minutes before Perry and Harry end up in bed with one another. The phrases "So you did miss me" and "shut up Harry" are very well worn by now.

6. How often do they say “I love you” to one another? On daily basics, leaving to work, with a kiss on a cheek and quick “love u, bye!” or it’s more rare and more emotional?

Daily (or almost daily) basics the longer they're together for Icemav, in more rare and emotional cases for Harry and Perry. Harry and Perry are quicker to throw around the occasional sarcastic Love you too babe and I can't believe I love you, but just regular I love yous are reserved for more serious occasions.

7. Do they keep track of each other during the day? Asking how is that important meeting going and texting “I <3 u”? Or they just text each other grocery list and talk when they are both home?

Harry and Perry text each other a lot. Harry is a magnet for trouble, and Perry texts him often during work to make sure he's doing his job (and, during more dangerous cases, because he wants to know if Harry's alright). They text about work more often than not and do talk more often about non-work-related things when they're at home, but there is some overlap. Harry loves it when he can get Perry to go on long rants about something he's passionate about over text when they're both supposed to be working.

Ice and Mav work together as well, but due to the nature of their jobs they don't text each other a lot during work, and catch up on their days at home. They don't have a lot of serious conversations over text either; texts between them contain anything from grocery lists, cat pics, complaints about students, reminders to pick up dry-cleaning, memes, links to interesting articles, strings of emoji, and - yes - many instances of "I <3 u".

8. How long into their relationship they are, when they say “I love you” for the first time? Who says that first? In what situation?

I'm fond of several scenarios for Harry and Perry exchange I Love Yous for the first time - quiet moments, Harry-does-something-stupid-and-gets-injured moments, Perry-does something-stupid-and-gets-injured moments - but the one thing that stays consistent is that it is a While after they've officially gotten together, and Perry is the first one to say it (when Harry is not expecting it).

My main headcanon for Icemav involves their relationship going from friends to FWBs to lovers over the course of a few years, with Mav proposing right before DADT goes into effect. I'm all for Big Dramatic I Love Yous, and no one is more dramatic than these two when they want to be, but honestly, I feel like their first I Love You would come during a quiet moment, not long after they've officially begun a relationship. Maybe Mav says it to Ice over breakfast and Ice responds in kind without even thinking about it. Maybe Ice says it to Mav when they're cuddling in bed. The sky's the limit re: potential situations and who says it first, but I like the idea of it happening during a Quiet Moment.

9. Do they have some unusual ways of saying “I love you”? Squeezing hands, that they both know what means?

(princess bride voice) That day, Harry was amazed to discover that when Perry called him an idiot, what he meant was, "I love you." (I mean, there are a Lot of instances where Perry calls Harry an idiot in the fullest sense of the word, but the point stands lol.)

Ice told Mav once not long after they officially got together that he thought 'boyfriend' sounded juvenile and 'partner' felt too formal, so Mav just stuck to referring to Ice as his wingman. They both have a certain fondness for the word now, and (princess bride voice) When They Say 'You Can Be My Wingman Anytime', What They Actually Mean Is I Love You.

10. How they show affection to the other one in everyday life? Do they cook dinner for each other? Or wash the dishes, even though it’s not their turn, cause they know the other one hates it?

For both couples, it's about the little things. Ice and Mav trade off chores, but if one of them is working late, the other will be responsible for dinner and/or cleaning - Ice Hates shoveling the snow, so Mav hires one of the local neighborhood kids to shovel their driveway and the walkway so Ice won't have to. Perry and Harry may argue about Harry's organization skills (or lack thereof), but Perry knows that if he asks Harry to get something important done, that important thing Will Get Done, and it will get done well, and Harry will get a head start on the work needed to be finished next.

#thanks for asking!#top gun #icemav #kiss kiss bang bang #harry x perry #quinnmorgendorffer #beautiful mutuals #thanks for the ask alex!!! sorry it took me so long to get this answered lol

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sassytrickster666 · 4 years

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Fluff alphabet : Donny Donowitz

A while back I saw a couple of templates this Fluff Alphabet concept is based on. Unfortunately I cannot remember which(really not intentional, id never copy ideas/templates on purpose) . If you think I've gotten inspired reading your work, please let me know!

A = Admiration (What does he absolutely adore/admire about you?)

-Your ability to always stay calm. It amazes him how you stay calm no matter what happens. When there's an emergency you´re able to keep your shit together and do something about it.

-How ballsy you are. You can't stand when people are being a jerk for no reason and you call them out even if they are twice your size.

-Your reliability. Donny knows you will always be there for him. A thought that calms him and makes him feel warm and fuzzy. You won´t leave him for no reason. You comfort him when he needs it (even if he says he doesn't) and you support him.

B = Baby (Does he want a family? Why/why not?)

Yes. Yes. Yesssssss. I cannot express how much this man wants to start a family with his one great love. Even with all the crap he has seen, the idea of bringing something as pure and innocent as a baby into this world with you is very appealing.

When you're pregnant he´d be giddy. Completely and wholly his. He'd spoil his princess even more than usual. Extra pillow underneath your head, accompanying you everywhere, opening up doors for you. Honestly, his ´helpfulness´ drives you crazy sometimes.

C = Cuddle (how do you cuddle each other?)

-Big spoon. Every time. Tends to throw his leg over yours in his sleep, which in turn makes sure you´re not going anywhere. -Very intense cuddler. Likes to surprise you by grabbing/cuddling you from behind and lifting you up (especially when there's other people present like his friends).

-Really loves it when you snuggle up against him, laying your head on his chest. When you do this it is another reassurance that you feel utterly and completely safe and relaxed when you are with him.

D =Doll (What pet names does he use?)

Doll, babe, sugar, cutiepie , and his favourite; princess.

E = evenings (how do they spend their evening? So they go out? Do they read?)

While he loves hanging out with the boys he loves it even more when you join them. You get along really well with Wicki and Aldo so why wouldn't he try to take you with him? As soon as you guys had the baby he preferred just staying home with you both being wholesome and all.

F = first date (what was it like?)

He took you out to play pool. After both of you getting over your nerves there was lots of banter. He discovered you were better at it than he expected you to be. Tough, you totally did pretend you sucked at first so he had no choice but to show you how to play. He didn't mind ´having´ to be so close to you one bit.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

He tries to be. He is such a bull in a china shop. He's big, he's loud… and secretly quite clumsy. The sheer amount of times he accidentally headbutted you is astounding. He makes up for it by giving you the gentlest of kisses on you forehead when he leaves for work or simply thinks you're being cute.

H = Hands (How does he like to hold hands?)

He likes holding hands, but he prefers it when you hook your arm through his. What can I say, he likes having you close to him. It also makes it easier for him to sneak kisses.

I = Impression (What was his first impression?)

The basterds introduced the two of you. He thought you were hella pretty and had a good sense of humour. The fact that you could hold your own around these men sure said something about you too.

J = Jealous (Does he get jealous easily?) Depends who gets close to you. He never gets jealous when any of the other basterds get near you. You could have Aldo hanging around your neck and Wicki winking at you and he won't give it a second thought. He trusts these boys with anything. However, these are not things strange men should do if they like having nuts. Or eating without a straw. Seriously, he knows you can handle yourself perfectly fine but he just doesn't trust others. He knows what men are capable of and he is protective AF. No one gets near his princess. Not that anyone that knows this huge man belongs to you would try anything.

K = Kiss (How does he kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

He kissed you on the lips first. You´d kissed his cheek long before that. You usually did when saying goodbye. This time he just couldn't help himself. You were so close to him, laughing at his jokes, touching his arm. He kissed you firmly on the lips, waiting for a response from you. Once you realised what was happening and kissed him back he immediately grabbed you and held you close to him, deepening it.

Donny is a passionate kisser and never passes up a chance to kiss you hello or goodbye or goodnight. He also likes to kiss you to assert his dominance over other men.

L = Love (Who said I love you first?)

He looooooves going picknicking with you. Just chilling out in the park or in the woods, enjoying some good food and each other's company. It was one of the first dates you went on and he will never forget the way you looked in your navy coloured dress, smiling up at him. It was the moment he realised he would never let you go. That he loves you to bits. It took him another week or so to casually tell you this when going to bed. As if it weren't anything significant or interesting.

M=Mad (Do you often disagree? What happens if you do?)

You do tend to bicker about the stupidest things. But it's a nice way of bickering. It's usually playful and you just try to convince one another. If you do actually get in a fight, Donny gets uncharacteristically quiet. To be honest, it kind of scares you, even though he would never do anything to hurt you. After you've cooled off he comes up to you to make up.

N = no (what is their pet peeve?)

Loud chewing, rude people, people that clip their nails in public, and socks that get lost in the laundry. WHERE DO THEY GO???

O = Orange (which color reminds him of you?)

This is so utterly fucking cheesy, but the colour that reminds him most of you is red. It is the colour of love. Donny always has been and will be a sucker for cheesy things. He also likes to ask you if it hurt when you fell from heaven. Get matching coffee cups.

P = parent (what kind of parent would they be?)

He's quite protective of his kids, especially of his baby girl. Real papa Bear material. I pity the boy that wants to date his daughter…. He can be tough at times, especially when they did something he really dislikes like being disrespectful or lying. He would never hurt his kids but he would ground them in a heartbeat. That said, he would do anything for his kids as he´d do for you.

Q = Queasy (How they handle being sick or you being sick)

When you get sick, he's such a sweetheart. He fluffs your pillow, gets you medicine and attempts to make you soup to help you feel better (he can't cook to save his life, so you can imagine how well that went). You often tell him you can actually get around and so some chores with a bit of a temperature or a simple stomach ache. He won't have any of that though.

Donny doesn't get sick often, but when he does he is such a man about it.

R = Rainy Day (what does he like to do with you on rainy days?) Stay in. Get cozy. Play games. Have friends over. Have some drinks.

S = smile (what makes them smile without fail) Your face when you have to get out of bed in the morning: a slightly grumpy, sleepy bed head looking up at him. You being overly excited about a pet or animal. You surprising him with a hug.

T = together (how clingy are they? How long do you two spend together per day on average)

Donny works quite a lot and he works hard. He takes care of his family and likes to spend a good amount of time with them (he takes you with him of course ). You don't have a lot of alone time. However, as soon as he comes home from work he quickly makes his way to you to sweep you up in his arms and shows you how much he missed you during the day. He then spends the next half hour following you around in the kitchen.

U = Unencumbered (what helps him relax?) Doing sports (have you seen him?), having fun with friends, he also finds watching you cook or bake (and eatin it afterwards) very relaxing and mostly, actually, having sex.

V = videos (do they take lots of videos or photos during your relationship?)

He keeps a photograph of you with him wherever he goes. It's his lucky charm. You two also keep a small photo album with photos of the most important moments. This includes some pictures of him and the guys, pictures of your wedding day and pictures of your family and kids.

W = Wedding (What is your wedding like?)

It's a given that Donny likes to joke around and pull crazy shit. Not on his wedding day he doesn't. He is a nervous wreck when getting ready. He takes everything going well very seriously. What will you look like? Will you have gotten cold feet at the thought of spending your entire life with his crazy, annoying ass. Are they stupid and ungrounded thoughts? 100 percent. Do they successfully drive him nuts and jittery? Definitely. And definitely a couple sips of Aldo´s bourbon worthy. The wedding itself was pretty simple. The people you loved were there. Traditions were honored and the food was good. Donny couldn't hold back the tiny tear that slipped down his cheek when he saw you in your dress.

X = eXtra (what’s an interesting fact about them that they don’t tell anyone about?) Once upon a time when you were dating he decided to steal your bathrobe to open the door for the delivery guy and he kind of never stopped stealing your bathrobe. Have in mind your bathrobe is really big (for you) and pink. And Fluffy. And Donny is a tall man so it comes up to just about the middle of his hairy thigh. It's hilarious that you actually had to buy yourself a new one.

Y = yuck (what do they hate? Could be a food, sent, word anything)

This isn't really a hard one honestly. The thing he hates most in this world are nazis and bigots alike. It makes his blood boil like nothing else.

Other things he hates are: people that are unnecessarily rude or disrespectful, wet socks, and smelly cheeses.

Z = Zebra (if he wanted a pet, what would he get?)

A dog. He thinks they´re great companions, and you can get crazy with them. Also, he wants a big dog. He doesn't get along with cats at all. Wouldn't know how to act around them. He always gets scratched.

#Donny Donowitz #donny donowitz x reader #donny donowitz imagine #fluff alphabet #donny donowitz fluff alphabet #inglorious basterds imagine

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paperclipninja · 4 years

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Lucifer post-ep ramble 5x01

Hi there, long time fangirl, first time Lucifan. After devouring all 4.5 seasons of this magnificent show in an impressive/alarming (all a matter of perspective) amount of time, I have very quickly found myself well and truly obsessed dedicated to all things Lucifer. And when a show grabs me like this one has, I tend to have a lot of thoughts and feelings that I can’t help but share, and so the post-ep ramble was born. It will probably contain many words, it may or may not be particularly coherent, there will definitely be over-analysing, but I thought I might indulge in re-capping the season 5 eps as I re-watch, so this is the first ramble off the rank.

‘Really Sad Devil Guy’ (A+ ep name btw) kicks off as we’re still scrambling to pick up all our heart pieces after the season 4 finale, which is why Mr. Said Out Bitch (aka Lee Garner) being in Hell is such a cracker of an opening. Lucifer just waiting below deck on Fishizzle II (wth happened to Fishizzle I??) to greet him with his trademark ‘hello’ made me disproportionately happy, mostly because he was on my screen but also because his encounters with Mr. SOB are always great and this was no exception. Getting an insight into ‘life in Hell’, the way the characters in the Hell loops are played by Demons and Lucifer in action as the King was fab at this point in the series. And does anyone else have a visceral reaction to Lucifer stopping that bullet? I know it’s brief, I cannot explain it, it might be the command he has, the fact it’s awesome, but it makes me FEEL things. Just me? Cool.

I think what really strikes me in the way Lucifer just has to pop in on Mr. SOB upon hearing of his arrival, is the fact that he is a link to Lucifer’s life on Earth. They’ve existed in the same places there, breathed the same air, it’s a way for Lucifer to make that connection to his home more tangible. And when he realises where Mr. SOB’s hell loop has them moored, at Marina Del Ray, the way Lucifer says 'Los Angeles' with such yearning makes those heart pieces I had started cobbling back together really begin to ache. What this episode pulls off so brilliantly is the way Chloe and Lucifer remain connected despite being apart, and it’s all set up when Lucifer tells Mr. SOB, ‘You know, there's a good chance I know who's on your case. To them it's only been a few months, a blink of an eye, but here it's been much much longer’.

What’s happening ‘below deck’ in Hell (sorry...or am I?) is of course mirrored at the crime scene, where Maze is still calling Ella Ellen (never change Maze ILY) and Ella is banging on about Lucifer not responding to her DM’s and texts and it’s all so on brand and the thought of her sending Lucifer a clip of a parrot dancing to techno and him finding it funny is just too perf. Maze having Chloe’s back from the get-go and telling Ella to ‘read the room’ just shows how far this Demon has come. And of course Chloe saying that she hasn’t even really thought about Lucifer since he left...(spoiler alert: she has).

Seeing Maze and Chloe out drinking and dancing, somehow they're kinda dorky together and I love it, but it’s also really clear that they’re both leaning on each other pretty heavily and being there for one another and honestly, I love literally every combination of characters on Lucifer, you put any two together and the dynamic is 100% their own and these two are up there. It’s so weird seeing Amandiel running Lux, I big L LOVE Amenadiel but it’s just...wrong. Plus hats off to D.B. because his delivery of ‘No one sells drugs in my place...without me getting a piece of the action’, not gonna lie, I was THROWN.

So are we assuming that the number of months Lucifer has been gone = the number of times Chloe has rocked up to work with a hangover? Lol at the sunglasses but also, you do you Chloe, whatever you gotta do babe. Just like Amenadiel running Lux is like watching a slightly off AU version of the show, so is seeing Maze and Chloe as partners at work. Don’t get me wrong, Maze clearly supporting her and when they’re interrogating a lead, seeing Chloe and Maze have such a groove that they’re finishing each other's sentences and communicating without talking, I dig it. But I love that while it’s great, it still doesn’t feel right. Because that there is why this show is so clever, as an audience we crave the return to the way things were just as the characters we are watching do.

Linda being a completely OTT mum is so fab. I could write an entire essay about my Linda love. Her adamance that ‘Charlie’s special’ and Ella’s ‘every child is special in their mum’s eyes, huh?’ sums it up perfectly. Did I mention I adore Ella? I definitely get the distinct impression Ella is doing a bit of self-reflection, her comment about being drawn to the bad boys for some reason clearly foreshadowing, but also her reflecting that she deserves a good guy for once (just not this ep when there is a bad boy/potential suspect to be hooked up with). I am curious to see the ‘darkness’ Ella has alluded to in earlier seasons being explored further and feel like this is sowing the seeds and I’m also waiting for a significant Linda/Ella D&M at some point. But clearly not this point, because 'science lesson Wednesdays...I checked your schedule and that's your day off' Linda is NOT about deep and meaningfuls (or anyone who isn’t a 2 month old baby), you need to DIAL IT DOWN friend. I love that it takes Trixie pulling some funny faces and Dan offering some sage parenting advice as he returns the self-help books (love the irony there) for Linda to begin to chill a bit.

So Dan has gone all new age with his oils and self improvement and you know what? I love it. And then of course we have Amenadiel needing to help make the world a safer place, he just needs to make sure for Charlie ya know and ugh my ovaries. I must say, I was relieved to realise that the club life had not in fact corrupted the delightful warrior we all love after all - it’s all a ploy to catch a REAL BIG TIME drug dealer (nooooo I can feel the second hand embarrassment already...)! Amenadiel setting up the ‘drug bust’, telling the dealer, ‘looks like gooood drugs’, oh you dear sweet naïve Angel you. We of course discover that the bust is, well, a bust, because the ‘drug lord’ is actually a kid trying to offload his mum’s pain meds *insert facepalm emoii here*. But rather than ridicule or be angry, Dan is so understanding and supportive of Amenadiel and once again offers up advice and I really am so into this friendship on every level and the care and openness it models.

Meanwhile, the genius parallel between what is happening on Earth and in Hell really takes effect as Chloe and Maze go undercover (I mean, they are a glam couple lbh) to the poker game while Lucifer is at a game hosted by the same suspect in Mr. SOB’s ‘exquisite’ Hell loop. His exclamation that it’s exquisite reflects that Lucifer and Mr. SOB are not that different, that it’s the kind of place Lucifer might manifest as well, but I also feel that Lucifer could be admiring his own Kingdom’s handiwork at creating LA with such accuracy from someone’s subconscious. He allows himself to be absorbed in it, ‘City of Angels, I’ve missed you’, and I can’t help but get the impression that hearing Lucifer call LA this for the first time is confirmation that his Heaven, or place of Angels, is in fact there with Chloe.

Chloe remains firmly in the forefront of Lucifer’s mind this entire episode, with him asking ‘what would she do?’ and wanting to replicate the life he had with her at the precinct. But of course he is soon reminded of his reality, as he tries to get more information from Mr. SOB who is being useless. Lucifer incorrectly calling him ’Detective’ shatters the illusion that he is any closer to Chloe, and this is impressively emphasised as he erases the LA cityscape to reveal the Hellscape. For a moment he’d let himself believe he was back there. Back home. His, ‘you’re not her’ making some of my heart pieces fall out once again.

But then the messenger arrives, ‘Lord Morningstar, there’s someone you should meet’ and lo and behold it’s guy who just got hit by car up on the Earth-side of this investigation and I.am. loving. it. Also, did Lucifer put out a Hell-wide memo that if ANYONE arrives from LA they are to be bought to him so he can send messages to Chloe through their bodies??? NO REALLY I'M FINE. Having a Demon possess the dead dude’s body to pass on the tip from Lucifer was just TOO MUCH. His, ‘hey is that Mazikeen?’ made me actually lol but also, look how far we’ve come! Chloe doesn’t even flinch when the dead guy wakes up possessed to pass on Lucifer’s message. I’m so proud.

'It's safe where you stored it' caused me way more amusement than was perhaps intended, but Ella, Maze and Chloe together, trying to figure out what it meant, it's such a great moment and the comedic timing is gold. Also, the fact it actually helps the case, ugh, Chloe and Lucifer are still connected and working together even though they are not on the same plane of existence and I’m just going to need to curl up for a minute because feelings.

You know who else is having a lot of feelings in this ep? The Devil himself. After he is satisfied he has passed on the message, he’s done with Mr. SOB, sending him, ‘back to your torture. And me to mine’. Any remnants of my heart are now once again shattered all over the floor in case you’re wondering. Lucifer doesn’t even try to hide the fact that being away from Chloe is so painful, almost revealing more than he ever usually would when Mr. SOB asks if she’s ‘somebody important?' to which he replies, 'more than you could ever know'.

He only just stops himself before telling Mr. SOB her name, when he realises he's trying to manipulate him. And I'm so glad, Lucifer so sparingly uses Chloe’s name, it's always significant when he does and I feel like he reserves those moments for only between them. But Mr. SOB really does sum it up when he observes, ‘you just seem like a really sad Devil guy’, BECAUSE HE IS A REALLY SAD DEVIL GUY (can we just take a moment to appreciate how not at all scared of Lucifer Mr. SOB is, he doesn’t even refer to him as THE Devil, just ‘Devil guy’. It’s kind of nice that he sees and accepts him as both Devil and human without really questioning it).

The parallel continues as Chloe and Lucifer are talking to a sister and brother and the way this highlights the place they're both in. It's just brilliant writing and execution. Chloe is talking to Meg about her brother’s death and both her and Lucifer's yearning for one another is palpable. At the same time, Maze telling Chloe that they don’t need Lucifer and kissing Chloe highlights Maze’s desire for connection and love. She wants it so badly and the way she shuts down when Chloe suggests they stop working together breaks my heart.

When Lucifer takes Mr. SOB to the root of his Hell loop, yes, it’s about Lucifer projecting his own guilt and lack of self worth onto him, but his assertion that, 'it is inevitable sooner or later you're going to disappoint them all over again. So you'd rather stay away for all eternity’, really feels as though it carries multiple meanings. As a self-referential comment, is Lucifer talking about Heaven or Earth? Is it his fear of disappointing and letting down Chloe and the other humans or is it his belief that he disappointed his family? And if Angels self-actualise does that mean he was never 'stuck' in Hell at all and could have returned to Heaven? I certainly feel there is some sort of realisation occurring here. Or could be completely over-analysing it. Why not have both 🤷‍♀️

You know the line that just up and got me though? ‘Whose hell is this anyway? Are you sure this is my hell? You just here torturing yourself’- Mr. SOB calling Lucifer out is A MOMENT. And I can’t help but wonder if a part of it is Lucifer wanting Mr. SOB to come to terms with his own guilt, wanting to help him because he knows he’s not evil and he is trying to reconcile his own guilt too. If he can help Mr. SOB face and let go of the guilt then he has a chance of it too. And that’s when Mr. SOB challenges Lucifer, pointing out that he missed his chance, ‘but what about you?’ 'The self-centred simplicity of you humans never ceases to amaze me...I am here out of responsibility, I had to protect humanity, I had to protect HER', the delivery of this line, the frustration of being misunderstood, of ppl thinking that he acts for himself when his very reason for being back in Hell is for others, I can feel it through the screen.

The dead guy we saw get shot in the kitchen appearing at that moment with news about ‘the Detective’ and then cutting straight back to the shoot up in the house, file under: how to brilliantly edit. “Lucifer” appearing; the whistle, the casually strolling in, the ‘hello bad guys’ = I was FOOLED. I mean you have to admit, the ‘thought I'd give you a hand' pun was well played, classic Lucifer, very convincing. My shipper heart was SO FULL for the split second Lucifer and the Detective kissed, until Chloe realised that something was off and her open eyes told us something was up. The cut back to Hell and seeing Lucifer still standing there with Mr. SOB...you may have heard my ‘noooooooo’ from wherever you are. ‘She’ll be just fine without me’...said every Devil who has a dick twin brother who’s going to try and destroy, nay STEAL, his life and love of his life ever.

Michael, you're an evil bastard but damn you nailed that villainous smirk over-the-shoulder pose in the final shot. Whatever you have in store, I will no doubt revel in your awfulness and be confused about whether or not I hate you.

#lucifer #lucifans #lucifer 5x01 #ramble #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #ella lopez #dan espinoza #amenadiel #deckerstar #recap

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a-splash-of-stucky · 7 years

Text

Operation Soulmate | One

Pairings: Steve x Reader

Summary: Steve has a confession to make.

Warnings: Language, I think? Mention of a gay relationship.

A/N: for @marvelous-fvcks‘ writing challenge. My prompt was ‘Heart’.

Operation Soulmate Masterlist

Steve is in a mood.

He’s been acting like an ominous storm cloud is hanging over his head the entire morning. It was noticeable when he came back from his run, but is now even more apparent, as he’s had time to stew in his thoughts for far too long. When Steve Rogers starts over-thinking things, it’s pretty fucking difficult to get his headspace back into somewhere positive. He’s stubborn like that.

You’re eating lunch together, sitting side-by-side at the kitchen island. Your attempts to start up a conversation with Steve are met by a brick wall — you’re getting nothing out of him besides the occasional grunt and some monosyllabic replies. Eventually, you stop trying, resigning yourself to an eerily silent meal.

Once you’ve cleared away the dishes and set them in the dishwasher, you lean against the counter and observe him. Steve is sat across from you, shoulders hunched and expression solemn. He’s twirling his glass in his hands, staring into it as if it has all the answers he’s looking for. You know that if you don’t intervene sooner rather than later, he’s either going to do something reckless to take his mind off things, or he’s going to let this weight bear down on his shoulders until it finally consumes him.

Most likely, both.

Tentatively, you walk around the island, coming up behind him and looping your arms over his shoulders. You rest your chin on top of his head as you cross your wrists in front of his chest. “Steve? What’s up, babe?” you murmur, using your finger to trace invisible patterns on his collarbone, “Something bothering you?”.

Steve makes a little noise of affirmation, but doesn’t bother to elaborate. He reaches up and brushes his thumb over the back of your hand, stroking it idly as the silence draws on. Though you can’t see his face, you can visualise his expression: brows knitted, corners of the mouth downturned and jaw tense. Waves of jumbled-up thoughts are practically radiating off of him.

After a while of you holding him, Steve finally exhales sharply. “It’s okay, Y/N. I’m fine,”.

“Liar,” you mumble, rubbing your cheek over his fine blonde hair affectionately.

That earns you a chuckle. “Yeah, guess you’re right. I don’t really wanna talk about it right now, though,”, says Steve, moving to get out of his chair

“But you will? Later?” you prompt, stepping back as you release him from your hold.

Steve smiles at you, but it’s a mere shadow of his real one, the edges of it strained and forced. “Later,” he promises, “I gotta go now, though. I promised Wanda I’d train with her this afternoon,”.

“Okay,” you say, leaning up on your toes to peck him on the cheek, “Have fun. See you,”.

—————————

You don’t see him for the rest of the afternoon. Avoidance, especially when it comes to emotions, is very much a Steve thing to do. You’d tried to work him out of this bad habit in the time you’ve been together, but the Cap’s as stubborn as a mule, and there’s not much you can change about him.

This mood he’s in is nothing new. Your relationship has been far from perfect in the two years that you’ve been together — it’s not easy for two individuals working so closely with each other to maintain a healthy balance between their work and personal lives. Especially with jobs as life-threatening as yours are.

The two of you find yourselves constantly bickering over mission-related maybes and what-ifs, worried about the health and safety of the other person; with Steve’s tendency to jump headfirst into danger without a second thought, you find yourself nagging at him more often than you’d like. In some cases, arguments have gotten so heated between you that neither of you can bear to be in the same room as the other person. On those days, Steve usually ends up crashing with Bucky, and Natasha or Wanda swings by your room for some much-needed girl talk. At some point though, you and Steve find a way to make it up to each other. No fight between you has ever gone unresolved.

But this funk he’s in—it’s different. Steve’s not angry with you. In fact, he’s not even angry per se, just…closed off. It’s like something is weighing heavy on his mind. As his significant other, you can’t help but wonder if it’s something that you’ve said or done recently.

As of late, your love story seems to have taken a turn for the worse. It’s like you’ve lost the spark that keeps your romance alive. You still love Steve dearly, but…things have happened in the last three years, and Steve is no longer the man you met on your first visit to the compound. The burden of being Captain America is heavier than it’s ever been before, his responsibilities and public image a deadweight he carries everywhere. Everyday is a constant uphill battle for him, so it’s no wonder that work has taken a toll on your relationship. And besides, you’re not the same woman either; you’re battle-hardened, now, shields up and more robust than ever. You still enjoy being with Steve, and the two of you still deeply care for each other, but if you’re honest with yourself, you have doubts that your romance will last for much longer.

And, knowing Steve, you figure that he’ll probably be too much of a gentleman to break up with you, if and when the need arises. That leaves you with the uncomfortable knowledge that one day, you’ll be delivering the bad news to him. It’s a depressing thought.

But first, Steve promised that he would talk to you, and a talk is what you shall have. Perhaps that will be enough to clear the air between you two, and, if you can find the courage to tell him how you feel, maybe you can both endeavour to rekindle the spark, reignite the fire in your relationship. With some effort from the both of you, maybe it’s possible for you to be as in love with each other as you were in those blissful first few months.

In the end, you come to the conclusion that stressing yourself out by speculating on the thoughts flying around in Steve’s head will do you no good. He promised to talk to you, and you fully intend on holding him to his word. For now, you need to occupy yourself to take your mind off things.

Half an hour later, you find yourself in the sprawling back gardens of the compound, doing some training of your own. You are an enhanced individual, the result of countless experiments and extensive testing run by a cult masquerading as a group of science-fanatics. They were hell-bent on re-creating and bettering the super-soldier serum, but did so by summoning dark energy in a series of demonic rituals. As a result, you’d come out of the ordeal with increased agility, stamina and strength — though nothing compared to what Steve had — in addition to the ability to manipulate wind. You’re able to create anything ranging from a gentle breeze, to gale-force gusts.

The focus of your session today is levitation — specifically, levitation of large objects. You don’t know how exactly they came about, but Tony has managed to amass a variety of large boulders, fallen trees, and even scrap metal, for you to train with. You focus on keeping the items in the air for as long as possible, refining your control of your powers.

After an exhausting, but rewarding couple of hours, you decide to call it a day and head back to the room you share with Steve for a shower. When you pick up your phone from the kitchen counter, you discover that Steve’s sent you a message.

SR: Going out to dinner and drinks with Sam. Don’t wait up.

You sigh inwardly, knowing that this is his way of avoiding a confrontation with you. Nonetheless, you text him back:

Ok. See u later.

And, for good measure, you add:

Don’t think ur getting off the hook so easily.

The rest of your evening passes without incident. Sweaty from your work out, you take a nice long shower, then dress in one of Steve’s shirts and a pair of leggings. Dinner consists of yesterday’s leftovers, eaten on the couch whilst watching re-runs of Gossip Girl.

Steve comes into the bedroom just as you’re climbing into bed.

“Hey,” he murmurs, giving you a wan smile as he heads to the bathroom. Steve presses a kiss to the top of your head when he brushes past you.

“Good time with Sam?” you ask, getting under the covers and fussing with the pillows for a little, trying to get comfortable.

“Yeah, it was good,” Steve replies, “Gonna take a shower now, ‘kay?”

“M’kay,” you mumble, pulling the covers over you and turning off your bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness, save for the sliver of light spilling in from the bathroom. Steve has left the door slightly ajar, and you find yourself fading in and out of sleep, lulled by the pitter-patter of water droplets hitting the tiles floor. You don’t know how much time passes, but some moments later, Steve emerges in a cloud of steam — that man loves his showers burning hot — with a towel slung low on his hips. Through half-lidded eyes, you watch him pad over to his dresser and pull out a pair of loose sweats to sleep in.

Steve dries his hair, then tosses the towel into the laundry hamper, before sliding into bed beside you and wrapping his arms around your body. You nuzzle your nose into the hollow of his throat and curl yourself around his larger form, breathing in the scent of his cucumber body wash. He’s warm and familiar, making you feel safe and secure.

Despite this, you can’t ignore the tension in his body. Though you’ve relaxed into his touch, Steve has not done likewise. For a while, the only thing you can hear is the steady thud of his heart beneath your ear, coupled with his deep, steady breaths. “I’ve got something to tell you,” Steve whispers. You wait patiently for him to continue, not wanting to interrupt his train of thought. It’s clear that he’s been building up to this moment for the entire day. “You’re…not gonna like what I have to say,”.

A sickening feeling settles in your gut, but you force it aside. “It’s okay,” you breathe, “I still wanna hear it,”.

Steve starts to run his fingers up and down your arm, a gesture he does subconsciously when he’s nervous like this. “I—I love you,” he says, “But…I also…love…someone else,”.

It feels like someone’s twisting a knife into your chest, stabbing you straight through your heart. Your mind kicks into overdrive, a million questions racing through it as you wonder who this second girl could be. Natasha? No, he respects her too much to let their current arrangement devolve into something romantic. It’s certainly not Wanda — she’s like a little sister to him. Maybe it’s another girl? From outside the compound, perhaps.

“Hey, hey,” Steve soothes, nudging your chin with his finger until you tip your head back to look at him. He chuckles softly, “I can hear you thinking from over here, sweetheart. Lemme finish a sec, okay?”. At your nod, he continues, “I haven’t…done anything about it, before you start wondering. I’d never cheat on you, baby, my ma raised me too good to do that,”

You snort. “Thank god for Sarah Rogers,”, you mutter.

Steve smiles, “Yes indeed,”. A pause, then, “Honey, I don’t think it’s fair for me to still be with you when I love someone else. I know you’ve noticed it — things just haven’t been the same between us in the last few months. And it’s not your fault, I don’t ever want you to think that. It’s—it’s me. It’s my fault,”. He chokes up at that last bit, and your already damaged heart breaks even more at the sound of his wrecked voice.

“Steve,” you chide, “Not everything has to be your fault, okay? Yes, I’ve noticed our relationship coming under stress, but maybe I could’ve tried harder—,”

“No—,”, Steve interrupts

“Will you let me finish?” you say sharply. Steve snaps his mouth shut and nods for you to go on. You stroke his cheek fondly. “Baby, I love you too. And that’ll never change. I care about you, and all I want is for you to be happy. And if you think you’ll be happier with this other girl, then I’ll—I’ll let you go,”. It’s hard for you to get the words out, but you manage to do it in the end. You try to inject as much sincerity into your voice as possible.

Steve frowns at you in confusion. “I could never be happier with another girl—,” he says.

“Well, if you say you love her, then clearly you can be happier—,”.

“No, you don’t understand, I—,”, Steve cuts himself off with a self-depreciating, mirthless laugh. “Who ever said it was a girl?”

“What!” you cry, sitting up in bed and looking at him in astonishment. It’s dark, but you know him well enough to guess that his face is a bright crimson hue, right now. “Steve—I—you’re gay? Why didn’t you—,”.

“Bisexual, actually,”, he corrects you.

You gape at him, utterly shocked. Taking your silence as your disapproval, Steve starts to shift uncomfortably. “Look, Y/N, if that’s too weird for you—,”

“No! No, it’s not,” you say, reaching out blindly for his hand. When you grab hold of it, you bring it to your mouth and brush your lips over the knuckles. Your next words must be chosen with care, because he’s so fragile right now, in desperate need of validation. “Stevie, I’m so happy you’re telling me this. I know how hard it must be for you. I support you, no matter who you choose to love, because you’re Steve, one of the nicest, kindest, most humble people on this earth,”.

“Aw, sweetheart, c’mere,” Steve mumbles, tugging you back into his arms and placing a sweet kiss on your lips. “You’re the best,”.

“I know,” you quip. “Now. This revelation begs the question: who is this mysterious man?”

An eternity of silence passes, Steve tensing up beside you as he steels himself to give you a name. “Bucky,”, he says quietly.

“Bucky?” you echo in disbelief. “Steve, have you always…?”

“Yeah,”, he croaks. Steve clears his throat and runs his fingers through his hair, turning to look at the ceiling as he talks to you. “Y/N, I’ve loved him ever since I was fourteen. I loved him before I even knew what love was. When I…came out of the ice, I thought I’d be able to forget about him with time. And then I met you, and I did, for a while, but now…” he trails off, lost in the pain of his own thoughts.

“What changed?” you ask gently.

Steve huffs out a breath. “He remembers more, now. He’s not the same Bucky I grew up with, but he’s more Bucky than he was when we first got him back. And…that’s messing with me,”.

“Oh, Stevie,” you murmur, snuggling a little closer to him. You’re surprised by how calm you are in the face of all this information. Steve has essentially just professed his love for his childhood best friend, which in turn leads you to conclude that some significant changes are on the horizon for the two of you. Truth be told, your subconscious had been expecting this talk for the longest time — well, not this talk specifically, but some version of it, at least. You knew that it was an inevitability, rather than a possibility. You’ll never know what exactly Steve and Bucky were before the universe cruelly tore them apart, but you know that whatever it was, it had to be something special. If Steve’s carried his love for Bucky in his heart all this time.

And special things deserve to be celebrated. They’re a rarity, after all.

You run your fingers through Steve’s hair, brushing the soft, slightly damp strands off his face. When you speak, your voice is barely louder than a whisper. “If he means that much to you Stevie, I’ll not stop you. I know you love him, and I’m not going to keep you away from that,”.

“You’re not mad?” Steve asks hesitantly.

“Mad?” you echo, “Why would I be mad?”

“I just told you that I’m in love with someone else!” he points out.

“Steve,”, you chuckle, “You’ve got a big heart. It’s bigger than your goddamn brain—,”.

“That’s probably true—,” he mutters darkly.

“—and even though you love Bucky, that doesn’t mean that you love me any less. I’m glad you told me this. Now we can work things out together,”. You hold your hand up to your mouth to stifle a yawn, sleep suddenly tightening its hold on you. “Not now, though,” you mumble, “I’m tired,”.

“Okay, sweetheart,” Steve murmurs, wrapping his arms around you and tucking you against his body, “Let’s sleep,”.

“G’night baby. It’s gonna be okay. We’ll work this out,”, you slur, eyelids already beginning to droop shut.

“Okay. I love you,”.

---------------------- Tagging people who might be interested: @hollycornish @rda1989 @awinterloveuniverse @aquabrie @onceuponahiddleston @bi-diana-prince @after-avenging-hours

Send me an ask or message if you want to be added/removed from the list :)

#amarvelousfvckingwritingchallenge #marvelous-fvcks #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve x reader #steve rogers angst #steve rogers fluff #stucky angst #love confessions #my writing #reader insert fic #operation soulmate

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eversall · 7 years

Note

Idk if you've ever watched Friends, but Jimon + the gang finding out about their relationship in the style of Monica and Chandler

i have watched friends and asdfghjkl i love monica and chandler and this is one of the best episodes ever so this prompt is extra amazing. obviously, all credit goes to friends for the plot. also, i want to point out that this fic by jess ( @softjimon) has more friends!jimon and reading her thing is 100% the inspiration i had to finish this one so quickly.

fool around like we’re sixteen and secret || jace/simon, 3k+, secret relationship + fluff || (ao3 link coming soon!)

In March, Simon goes away for a weekend to Vermont. Songwriting boot camp, he claims, he and his writers are sequestering themselves away for a few days to work on his upcoming album. Jace happens to be out of town that weekend too, because - as he tells Alec and Izzy - he was called to consult on a case involving an adoption scam.

“Since I have experience,” he explains, “they want me to be there for their initial analysis.”

Alec believes him. Why would Alec not believe his brother, his FBI case partner, his roommate, his best friend?

He doesn’t even think about it until the next Monday, when Jace gets back on a red-eye flight, grinning about apparently seeing Raj and Duncan together in an elevator in the hotel he was staying at, and they’re running around trying to get ready for work.

“I’m out of shaving cream,” Alec calls from the restroom desperately, “I can’t show up to work looking like I haven’t slept in seventy-two hours!”

“In my carry-on, use my bottle, I haven’t unpacked yet!” Jace yells from his bedroom. So Alec rushes out to the living room, digging through the duffel bag on the sofa, and comes up with not one but two bottles of shaving cream. One’s sleek and black, and the other is…Batman themed.

“What is this?” Alec asks as he smirks, waving the bottle at Jace, who’s walking out of the bedroom. “Discovering your inner child, are you? Your puberty-driven, cartoon-character supported shaving?”

Jace freezes, and his eyes go comically large. “Uh…I found it?” He offers. Alec raises an eyebrow, and decides that he’s not judging. He just doesn’t have the energy right now.

“If you want to re-live those hormone fueled years, be my guest.” He laughs as he tosses the Batman bottle at Jace, and then goes into the restroom to shave.

It’s not a big deal. It shouldn’t be a big deal.

But then, later that night, he and Jace go across the hall to Clary and Simon’s place so they can is wait for the other two to get ready for dinner - which, God, both of them are so high-maintenance - the only person allowed to be that high maintenance is Magnus, and Alec isn’t biased, shut up Jace -

But as he and Jace lounge on their (much nicer, antique) sofa, and Clary is trying to get her earrings untangled from her hair, Simon makes several trips back and forth from his bedroom to the bathroom, frowning and muttering to himself.

“Si,” Clary finally asks, amused, “are you…alright?”

“I lost my Batman themed bottle of shaving cream.” Simon says, frazzled. “I guess I left it somewhere in Vermont while I was away -”

“Oh?” Alec asks, frowning. That’s weird, certainly, that this is the second time that he’s encountering this Batman-themed bottle, but that’s fine. Coincidences happen. “How was Vermont?” He asks politely.

“It was great,” Simon’s suddenly smiles, his eyes going dreamy, before his expression smooths out into a smirk. “I saw Raj and Duncan making out in an elevator -”

Alec’s eyes widen and he bolts upright, just as the door opens and Magnus and Izzy waltz in.

“You what - “ He hollers as Izzy yells “Clary!” and Magnus says, loudly, “I think the barista down there hates me”, and at the same time Jace jumps off the couch, his face pale as a sheet, and tackles Alec to the ground. In the ensuing chaos and noise, Jace bodily drags Alec into Simon’s bedroom, and Alec splutters as Simon follows behind and shuts the door.

“You!” He says dumbly, pointing at Simon. “And - you?” His finger swings wildly to point at Jace, who rolls his eyes.

“Yeah.” He says. “Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

“So, to clarify.” Alec asks. “This isn’t some huge coincidence, you both went to Vermont for the weekend to…?”

“Romantic getaway.” Jace says, at the same time that Simon says “To have uninterrupted sex.”

“Uninterrupted - “ Alec starts spluttering again.

“Babe, don’t break him.” Jace says, amused. Simon grins as he grabs his hair gel off his dresser and starts styling his hair.

“Why did you both lie?” Alec crosses his arms and regards the two of them. “There were so many ways I could have found out, and discovering that the two of you fucked for three straight days isn’t the way I prefer.”

“We just wanted to keep this to ourselves for a little while longer.” Simon says, his fingers working through his curls as he glances at Jace through the mirror and smiles softly. “It’s nice to just be in our own world.”

Jace smiles back, and it’s embarrassingly besotted. Alec wants to bang his head against a wall somewhere, but also -

“I’m happy for you guys.” Alec says gruffly, and Jace and Simon both beam at him. “Stop smiling like an idiot, Jace. Batman themed shaving cream, honestly.”

“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.” Simon says, snapping his fingers. Jace snorts, and kisses him. And the way Jace leans into it, the way Simon’s shoulders relax, the way they both look at each other - Alec supposes it isn’t the worst secret in the world to keep.

Clary finding out is entirely by chance. She’s just passing through the living room when she hears the buzz of a vibrating phone from the sofa cushions, and she pauses and sets her bowl of popcorn down, tossing pillows aside to find Simon’s phone getting a flurry of incoming texts.

[jace]: u free babe?

[jace]: alec’s left to bother magnus or something, idk

[jace]: come over, we can do that thing you’ve been asking for since i can be as loud as i want now ;)

[jace]: tell clary ur gonna do laundry when really ur gonna do me

Clary shrieks and tosses the phone back onto the sofa, scrambling backwards and grabbing her popcorn. Mouth agape, she cradles her food to her chest and spends a horrified few seconds thinking oh God, is this karma for when Simon walked in on me making out with that girl in eleventh grade? Is this my punishment?

Then another thought hits her, and she straightens up and smiles, munching on a few kernels of popcorn thoughtfully. Laundry, hmm, is that the excuse Simon’s going to use?

She can’t say she’s not happy for them. It’s clearly been a long time coming, and they both would do anything for each other. It’s sweet. She’s a little hurt that Simon didn’t tell her, but she gets it. It’s their thing, and if they want to keep it a secret, it’s fine.

That doesn’t mean she’s not going to have a little fun with it, though.

Half an hour later, Simon finally appears in the apartment, after a long day at the recording studio. He groans, and heads straight for the couch as Clary watches, with no small amount of glee, from her position at the kitchen table.

“I can’t believe I left my phone.” He says morosely. “Clary, why am I like this?”

“Beats me.” She says cheerfully. “I like that you’re like this. It makes me seem like such a high-functioning adult.” She throws a few pieces of popcorn at him, and he distractedly grabs at one of them and pops it into his mouth as he scrolls through his phone. He flushes a deep red, slowly grinning, and he locks his phone and tucks it into his pocket.

“Got a lot to do this evening.” He starts saying loudly, heading into his room as he continues to talk. “Gotta clean my room, write some emails, do some laundry - “ He appears in the living room again, toting his laundry basket, which Clary suspects is full of clean clothes. “I’m just, ah, going to go do that laundry. Maybe I’ll answer the emails from my phone while I wait - “

“Oh, you’re doing laundry?” Clary asks, making a big show of looking surprised. “You wouldn’t mind doing a few pairs of jeans for me, right? I really need them before I head to the studio tomorrow.”

“Your…jeans.” Simon stops and looks baffled, and then, bizarrely, he looks around the room, like that’ll help him figure out what to do, and he sighs and smiles at her. Clary almost feels a little guilty when he says, sweetly, “Of course I can. Give me whatever you need!”

Izzy finds out in what she later claims is a worse way than Clary. She’s looking at an apartment in the building over, and all things considered, it’s going pretty well, until she goes to the window.

“Oh my God,” She says, laughing, “look, Clary, it’s Jace and Simon. We can see your apartment from here.” She turns, but Clary’s gone - presumably to the bathroom, she can hear the sink running. She turns back, and -

Simon has Jace pinned against the wall next to the window, holding his wrists loosely over his head with one hand and grabbing his ass with the other. They’re kissing like their life depends on it, with Jace shamelessly rolling his hips and chasing after Simon’s lips every time Simon pulls back.

Izzy is scarred for life.

“What are they - oh my God! No! Why are they - don’t do - oh my God!” She yells, skidding backwards with her hands clapped over her mouth. Clary comes tearing out of the restroom, hollering “What, what?!”, and then she skids to a stop when she sees what Izzy’s looking at. To Izzy’s surprise, she just makes a face and mutters a curse under her breath before throwing the curtains closed.

“God, yeah.” She mutters, turning to roll her eyes. “They’re a thing.”

“This is - wow.” Izzy’s almost stunned by the revelation, but not quite. Jace and Simon have always had a certain tension, and it’s undeniable that the two are romantics at heart; they’re good for each other. What’s stunning is that they’ve managed to keep it a secret. “Wait, how did you find out?”

“I saw some of Jace’s texts to Simon.” She shudders. “Every time Simon says he’s doing laundry? He’s going over to Jace’s and they’re…” She trails off, waggling her eyebrows suggestively, and Izzy laughs.

“Sex.” She says, enunciating the word, and Clary shudders theatrically. “Really, laundry is their code word? That’s so…sickeningly domestic.”

“Oh, not anymore.” Clary grins, perching on the arm of the sofa. “Now I ask him to actually do my laundry.”

“Oh you are horrible.” Izzy rolls her eyes, but she’s still smiling. “They don’t know you know?”

“No. I’ve been having fun with it.”

Izzy thinks about that, and then a slow smirk spreads across her face.

“Not enough fun, I think.”

Alec walks into the room, sees Clary and Izzy whispering, and immediately backs out.

“Nope, I’m going back to my apartment.” He decides, but they look up and immediately fix him in place with their stares.

“Alec,” Izzy says very seriously, “we need your help.”

“For what?” Alec asks warily. Izzy gets up and approaches him, crossing her arms.

“We know something,” She says slowly, “and if we tell you it needs to be a secret - “

“Oh, no.” Alec says immediately. “Absolutely not, I’m not doing this secrets thing again, have fun - “

“No, come on - “ Izzy drags him to sit at the kitchen table. “It’s for a good cause.”

“What’s the good cause?”

Clary comes over and braces her hands on the table. “Jace and Simon.” She says, and Alec squints at her suspiciously.

“What about them?” He asks slowly. Clary and Izzy share a look, in that weirdly synchronous silent language they have - when are they going to start dating? - and nod.

“There’s something you should, um, find out for yourself.” Clary says. “Why don’t you go to your apartment and knock on Jace’s door?”

Alec immediately freezes up. One of the most unhelpful things about knowing his brother secret is that he and Simon are now taking it as permission to go at it in their room while Alec is still in the apartment. They’re quiet, sure, but the walls are paper thin, and Alec just really wants less of a sex-dazed Simon walking around. He’s terrible at chess when he’s like that, and Simon’s pretty much the only person that’ll play chess with him.

“Simon’s doing laundry with Jace.” Alec says slowly. “That’s what they said.”

“Go check.” Izzy insists. “Humour me.”

Alec blanches at the thought of what he could walk into, and immediately responds with a horrified “No.” Izzy’s eyes widen at his reaction.

“Do you know what I think you know?” She hisses. Alec groans and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t know what you think I know.” He says.

“I know you know something, but I’m wondering if what I know and what you know are - “

“Jace and Simon are sleeping together!” Clary blurts out, and then she slaps a hand over her mouth and looks shocked at her own admission.

“They’re not sleeping together, they’re dating - oh hell.” Alec says, when he realizes what he’s walked into. Izzy slams her hand down on the table triumphantly.

“I knew you knew!” She crows delightedly. “Now, you can help us freak them out!”

“Or we could all stop.” Alec bemoans. “Stop with the secrets.” Nobody listens to him. Nobody ever does, because all the people he hangs out with are idiots. (Except Magnus. Though, truth be told, this is probably why Magnus lives a safe distance away from all of them.)

Jace is baffled, to say the least, when Simon bursts into his apartment and screeches, with wide eyes, “You sister just grabbed my ass! She flirted with me!”

“She what?” Jace asks from where he’s perches on a bar stool. “Are you sure?”

“Am I sure her hand touched my ass in a sexual manner - yeah I’m sure!” He says. “What’s happening?”

Jace never gets to respond, because Simon’s phone rings. “Oh my God, it’s her.” Simon wails, before he answers and puts it on speakerphone. “Hey, Iz!” He says as cheerfully as he can, while his face goes through a series of alarmed expressions. Jace frowns and hops off the stool to sling an arm around his boyfriend, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly.

“Hey, handsome.” Izzy’s voice sounds from over the speaker, and Jace blanches because her voice is low and definitely dipping into seductive territory. “I was just thinking about you.”

“And I, uh, was just thinking that I have to go! I have something I need to pick up, bye!” Simon says, ending the call and throwing his phone down on the counter. “Am I going crazy? Am I suddenly attractive?”

“You’ve always been attractive.” Jace mutters, pressing his lips to Simon’s temple. “Relax, breathe.”

“Izzy is trying to date me, there’s nothing relaxing about this.” Simon moans, but he eases into Jace’s hold, leaning back and letting Jace rake his fingers through Simon’s hair.

Alec snorts from where he’s sitting in his armchair, and both Simon and Jace startle, looking at him. Jace had kind of forgotten he was there, but Alec is being suspiciously silent, and his gaze keeps flicking to Simon’s phone. An absurd little thought begins to form in Jace’s mind.

“Alec,” He asks slowly, “does Izzy know about us?” Then he remembers all the fucking laundry he and Simon have been doing the past week. “Does Clary?”

“No.” Alec says immediately, looking down at his book. “Of course not. How would I know if they knew? I don’t know.”

“Alec.” Jace warns, narrowing his gaze. Alec flushes, but he dutifully keeps his eyes glued to his book. “Look at me, Alec.”

There’s silence for a few seconds as Jace crosses the room, striding closer to Alec, when Alec finally cracks and throws his hands up. “Yes, they know, can we be done with this whole secret thing now?”

“I knew it!” Jace crows. Simon leans against the kitchen counter and shakes his head.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad an attractive woman turned out not to really be flirting with me.” He remarks, and Jace points at him.

“Watch it, you’re still dating me.” He says. “More importantly, how are we going to retaliate?”

“Retaliate?” Simon asks, laughing. Jace crosses his arms impatiently, dead serious.

“Yeah. Oh, it’s on. Two can play at this game, and we’re going to fucking win.” He hisses. Alec springs out of his chair, looking at Jace in horror.

“Not more of this.” He says, aghast. “When will this nightmare end? And I expect you want me to keep this a secret too?”

Jace looks at him, and Alec flips him off as he stomps to his bedroom.

Which is what leads to the current ridiculous tableau that Jace finds himself in, peeking through a tiny crack in the bathroom - where he’s hiding out - and watching Izzy and Simon play a game of chicken as they try to seduce each other in the living room. He’s pretty sure Clary and Alec are on the other side of the front door and watching just like he is as Izzy and Simon play out the weirdest scene Jace has ever seen.

“You have such…impressive biceps.” Izzy purrs, dragging her finger down Simon’s chest - which is nowhere near his biceps! Jace grits his teeth and reminds himself that Simon is dating him, and that they’re just doing this so they can win.

“You’re quite impressive yourself.” Simon says, his voice low, and he moves in closer to place his hand on Izzy’s neck, hesitantly. Izzy visibly startles when he does, and looks momentarily flabbergasted before she soldiers on.

“You should kiss me.” She says, thrusting her chest forward. Simon gulps.

“Okay, yeah.” He says. “I wanna do that too.”

“So do it.”

“I will.” Simon woodenly places his other arm around Izzy’s waist, and Jace momentarily resists the urge to throw something at the two of them and separate them. Izzy and Clary can’t get the better of him and Simon.

“Okay.” Izzy licks her lips, her movements jerky as she leans forward. Simon does so too, inching forward, and the seconds tick by agonizingly as their lips get closer and closer, the space between them shrinking, and then they’re touching and kissing -

“AGH, NO, YOU WIN, I CAN’T KISS YOU!” Simon yells, jumping backwards and tripping wildly over his own feet. Izzy shrieks and points accusingly at him.

“I knew it! And why can’t you kiss me?” She gloats gleefully. Simon’s still breathing hard when he yells “Because I’m in love with Jace!”

Jace’s heart stops and he finds himself moving without thinking, shoving the door open and stumbling out to a stop in front of his boyfriend, whispering a shocked, soft, “What?” At the same time, Clary and Alec spill through the front door, gasping in unison and yelling “Oh my God”, as Izzy throws a hand out and accidentally knocks over a chair. In the ensuing chaos, Magnus appears as well, almost out of thin air, surveying the scene in front of him - Jace and Simon breathing raggedly, staring at each other intensely, Izzy trying to haphazardly pick up chairs as she watches everyone else at the same time, and Clary digging her nails into Alec’s arm as she bounces on the balls of her feet, with Alec alternating between scowling and trying to pry her fingers off, staring proudly at Jace, and smiling at Magnus.

Magnus arches an eyebrow. “Clearly, I’m missing something.” He murmurs, moving to Alec’s side.

Jace ignores all of them. He stares at Simon, who’s finally looking up at him through his absurdly pretty eyelashes, his eyes warm and a little fearful.

“Say it again.” he demands hoarsely. Simon stares at him, and takes a slow step forward, the corners of his lips turning up helplessly in a smile.

“I love you, Jace.” He says, and it seems to Jace like the world comes to an abrupt standstill the second Simon says the words, his vision narrowing down to the man of his dreams in front of him. This is happening, he thinks dizzily, this is real. He gets to have this, have someone who cherishes him and holds him close and makes him laugh, who genuinely loves him.

Jace breaks out into a smile, his veins thrumming with adrenaline as he says “I love you too”, and then they’re surging forward to kiss each other desperately, Simon crushing Jace to his chest as Jace loops his arms around Simon’s neck. It’s way, way too indecent for the audience they have, but this is the first time they’ve said those words to each other and Jace needs to feel Simon, as close as possible, needs to nip at his bottom lip and swallow down the rough groan that works its way out of Simon’s throat.

It feels like hours later when they pull apart to Clary’s loud coughing, and then Simon ducks his head, blushing bright red, and Jace rests their forehead together.

“This is so much more amazing than I thought it was going to be.” Clary says, and Jace finally turns to see her beaming at them. “I’m so happy for you guys!”

“Thank you.” Jace says, smirking. “I’m happy for me too.”

“Alec, dude, thanks.” Simon says fervently. “For keeping everyone’s secrets.”

“Don’t ever make me do this again.” Alec says flatly, and then his face softens. “Also, don’t break each other’s hearts. I’ll be out a brother and a friend, then.”

“Well, it’s good to see that you two are finally telling everyone.” Magnus says, smiling fondly at them. “You don’t have to sneak around anymore.”

“I’m gonna kind of miss going to do ‘laundry’, to be honest.” Simon says, pinching Jace’s side, and Jace laughs, shying away from the touch as the rest of them grin. There’s a beat of silence, and then Clary frowns.

“How did you find out, Magnus?” She asks. Magnus looks at them, puzzled.

“I figured it out the night after they first slept together, after London.” He says, while they all gape at him, Jace and Simon included. “Wasn’t it quite obvious?” When everyone continues to look at him with various degrees of astonishment, he frowns. “How did all of you find out, then?”

They groan, loudly.

“Don’t ask.” Alec advises. “It’s a long story.”

#jimon #shadowhunters #jace herondale #simon lewis #i write sometimes #monica and chandler were my og goals i love them #and i love jimon so #there you have it #sh fics

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isabeau25 · 7 years

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Get To Know Your Author

Tagged by @eastofthemoon!

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

There’s a book called Dove Isabeau that I loved as a kid, and also I loved the movie Ladyhawk, and Isabeau was one of the main characters.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

Room with a View (although Can’t Take the Sky From Me was a very close second - I had to do actual math to figure it out; I’m impressed I remember how to math.)

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

I don’t have one. I never bothered to upload it. If I did, it would be the same as the one for this account. It’s my cat Nibbs laying on my foot not long after we found him in my parents’ backyard. I use it because he’s cute and fluffy, and because I don’t like pictures of me floating around the internet.

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I love all my commenters! It’s always exciting to get the notice that someone took the time to comment and I go back and reread them all all the time.

@maychorian has commented on a bunch of my Voltron fics (almost all of them I think), and I’m always super excited when I see her comments because she leaves such excellent and well thought out ones.

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Hound by story_monger I come back to because it’s so well done. The writing is fantastic, and the sense of suspense is amazing, and I really love the way it dealt with different layers of trauma and wove together the way past trauma continued to impact how present trauma was processed and dealt with. Plus the team was wonderfully tender with Keith, and he got cuddles.

Hyggelig by heyheroics I’ve gone back and reread a couple times. It is an example of the ever rare, non-romantic Keith and Lance center story. Well written and even though it’s not finished, the chapters read as short stories, so I’m not left with cliff hangers. I’m always excited when it updates.

I reread pieces from @maychorian all the time, particularly from the Boom Crash series and the Dream Seam series (*whispers* a lot of the time I skip straight to the cuddles. She writes the best cuddles.)

The Raised by Lions series by @eastofthemoon I like to go back and reread. Red and her strange furless cub are super fun to read about, and then Shiro comes along and there is even more fluff and cuddles.

Basically there’s a shortage of platonic fluff and cuddles in the Voltron fandom and when I run out, I go back and re-read my favorite cuddles.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

I have like 12 bookmarked and 4 subscriptions. I always forget that’s a thing you can do on AO3.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

.... so many. I’ve been working on The Five Lion Cafe au lately, trying to finish up the next one (almost done *fingers crossed*), and Mermaid Rescue and Rehab Inc. is up next on my list to finish, so I’ve been picking on that.

I’d like to get back to Babe’s in Space at some point. I have general outlines for lots of short stories in that AU, and there actually is a bigger over arching plot if I ever get to it.

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

91 subscriptions and 992 bookmarks

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

Mostly platonic physical intimacy, just because I don’t want to deal with it being labeled as romantic or shippy (I guess that’s not so much a fear of being judged as just not feeling like dealing with other people’s reactions). Once something is posted, you have no control over how it’s received or interpreted. That’s just the nature of publishing something; you have to let it go (or drive yourself crazy trying to force people to see it only the way you want, which is just not worth the time or energy).

Because of that, I sometimes pull back from writing a scene as intimate as I’d like, or I choose a slightly different approach to it, just because I don’t want to deal with seeing it labeled as a ship in the tags and comments.

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

Action sequences and creating suspense. It’s hard to translate the movie-like images in my head into words for action sequences. I watch a lot of youtube videos for reference when I’m trying to write them.

And suspense, when done well, is just a great thing to be able to do. It keeps the reader engaged and makes the piece more exciting.

Also replying to comments! They mean so much to me, and I’m so terrible at replying.

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

Not really? I guess Ronin and Tara from Epic qualify as a rarepair just because the fandom for Epic is so small. I think the idea of Ezor and Kolivan from Voltron being a crack pair (not one that ever would or should show up in canon) is hysterical, but I haven’t written anything for them yet.

I really just don’t ship much in general.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

As of December 22, 2018, I have 49 stories up on AO3, all of them finished. I never start posting a story unless it’s already done.

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

So, that’s really hard to calculate. For every fandom I have what amounts to a dump document where I write random scenes and stories that I’m not sure will go any where, in addition to that I have:

Epic - 14 docs, most of those are probably single stories

ROTG - 9 docs, but I don’t think I separated out many of the WIPs from my main dump doc, so there’s probably more WIP there.

Voltron - 15 docs, but some of those documents are for series, so there’s might be multiple WIPs in the document.

And that’s just the unfinished stuff. I didn’t include the stories that are done. I usually keep those on my hard drive too because I don’t trust the internet not to suddenly eat my work.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

I keep them in my head way too often, then go back to stories I’ve set down for a couple months (or years) and don’t remember what was going to happen. I’m trying to get better about writing out at least a general outline for stories so that doesn’t happen.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

I have co-authored with @eastofthemoon and @ladydouji. I’m kind of a flake about writing though and I’m really bad at keeping deadlines with something I just do for fun, so I don’t team up very often.

16. How did you discover AO3?

Google search for fanfiction because there wasn’t enough decent stuff on ff.net.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

I don’t think so? I don’t pay much attention so I don’t have much bases for comparison.

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

Nope.

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

I read a lot growing up (not so much now - grad school does a really good job burning you out when it comes to reading). I loved fantasy mostly, and a little bit of sci-fi, although that’s never been a super sharp distinction for me.

Patricia McKillip is my favorite author. I absolutely love the way she writes and the way she crafts stories. I really enjoyed Jane Yolen, and Bruce Coville too.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

I really like Neil Gaiman’s 8 Rules of Writing.

The most important thing you can do is write. Get the words on the paper. That’s really the hardest part. I like his last rule best though “Write your story as it needs to be written. Write it honestly and tell it as best you can.”

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

I usually know where they’re going (in my head at least, by the time I actually start getting words on the page), but sometimes they end up taking unexpected turns or new scenes show up out of now where while I’m writing. That’s part of what makes writing exciting.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Nothing terrible, but a few (at least one of which went over my head until years later because they were being sarcastic).

I find I have an increasingly low reserve of energy, and things like that are not worth spending it on. I just ignore them.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Interpersonal conflict! Why would these two normally rational people who care about each other let a thing escalate to the point of them actually fighting over it, or having it damaging their relationship, or coming to blows over it? And how do I write that in a way that doesn’t sound contrived and is in character to everyone involved.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Right now I’m working on finishing up the next Five Lions Cafe story, and also working on the last of the Mermaid Rescue and Rehab series.

I’m also working on a story that is probably going to be called Bad Moon on the Rise, and is focused on Lance and the Red Lion’s bond (and also has quintessence vampires).

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

Yes! My brain never stops planning stories. Never.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Not really. Sometimes I’ll got through stretches where I write a lot, and other times my brain just melts and refuses to make words.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Yes! Even just going back a few years, but I’ve been writing since I was in elementary school, so there has been a great deal of improvement from the epic and fully illustrated “There are dinosaur ghosts living in our playground” that I wrote in first grade (and tried to convince my teacher was true).

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

It’s actually not even up on AO3. It’s the only Narnia fanfic I ever wrote, and it’s called Refuge. One of those things that just felt unfinished and unaddressed in the Prince Caspian movie, and I like how I addressed it.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

*Snorts* Thankfully lost to the great ether of individual fan sites that no longer exist, I had some CATS fanfics that were pretty terrible.

There’s also some Ronin Warriors stuff, and I think some stuff from the original Voltron dub, that’s pretty terrible, but I don’t have the heart to take down because people were actually kind enough to leave nice comments on them.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

The same, but hopefully better at it. I don’t really have any aspirations to be a professional writer. I’m happy just doing it for fun.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

The stories!

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Putting the words on the page!

33. Why do you write?

Because it’s fun! And challenging! And it gets the things in my head out of my head!

Tagging: anyone who wants to. I think all the people I know on tumblr have already been tagged.

#writing

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cyjprojectarchive · 7 years

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no. 21 | mark

prompt: 21. “There is no way in hell we are playing that at our wedding.” group: GOT7 pairing: mark tuan, you genre: fluff, non idol!au, the office (us) spoiler, ig sjkdsh idk hhhh words: 1328

requested by @sapphirebluemt !! omg i’m so deeply sorry for only doing this now ;;;; i didn’t have the inspiration at the time, but i kinda had smth in mind today so here u go!!! i’m sorry again ToT

“Oh my god, I didn’t know writing these invitations with my bare hands was going to be so torturous,” you wheeze out, dropping the third brush pen you have started using after the second one gave up from its purpose.

Mark chuckles beside you, ruffling your hair as your head drops on top of piles and piles of cards. Some were failed attempts of a new font you were trying to create and others just random scribbles of frustration for getting one letter wrong; the up stroke was either too light or the down stroke too heavy for your liking.

Of course, Mark didn’t understand the internal struggle you were having writing down the invitation cards perfectly. You knew it was going to be a challenge—obviously—but it was for something special; something you’d cherish for the rest of your life; and as soon as the event becomes a memory you’d be reminded of the fact that you,, one half of the most important people in the occasion, did something crucial for the whole gathering to be a success; that is to manually hand write the names for your wedding invitations.

Your soon-to-be husband, Mark, thought it was crazy for you to stress over this detail of the wedding weeks before, but you shrugged him off, slightly offended that he didn’t believe in your capacity to calmly finish your self-given task. You’re trying hard now not to tell him he’s right, though, but the small smirk on his visage seemed to make him aware of this undisclosed defeat you are currently experiencing.

“Babe, I think you need to take a break,” you hear him say, his hand now massaging circles around your back. You relax to his touch, letting out a long sigh. “I told myself I’ll have these all done by tonight,” you protest weakly.

“And I’m telling you that it’s an impossible feat and you deserve to relax. It’s your wedding after all,” Mark counters, lightly grabbing your arm so your back returns resting against the chair. You look at him tiredly, lips turning into a pout and your fingers entwining with his.

Capturing your face in his hands, Mark leans in and kisses you softly, lightly, everything you needed to calm your senses down and be reminded of the fact that you may be overdoing yourself instead of enjoying the process of tying the knot with the handsome man before you.

“Our wedding,” you correct him teasingly, placing another kiss on his smiling lips. Nodding his head, Mark continues to gaze at your expression with adoration in his eyes. You shyly squirm at his stare; you remember the first time he’s given you such a mesmerized look, and it hasn’t changed ever since.

“Still can’t believe I’m marrying the girl of my dreams, right here. Right in front of me,” he whispers, gently caressing the side of your face. He tucks a strand of your hair against your ear and feels the skin as you giggle. He knows it’s your weak spot as he’s discovered it during romantic getaways in the peaceful embrace of your bed.

“It’s not time for our vows yet, Mark,” you remind him, shaking your head playfully.

“I’ll still be telling you how blessed I am to have you for the rest of my life after we say our vows, baby,” he says back, and your cheeks burn redder in glee.

“Six years in counting and you never fail to make your girl swoon for you,” you tell him, holding his hand close to you as he grins in response.

You decide that you do really need to lie down and set aside the invitations for now. You still have a lot to consider, though, like the desserts, the color palette of the reception, and even your shoes. But for right now, you follow Mark’s advice and plop your body down the couch in the living room, turning on the TV to watch any shows that could pique your interest at the moment.

Mark had gone to take a quick shower, and as you scroll through your list you find a particular show that you haven’t watched in so long. You click on the title card, and you remember trying to finish a re-run of this a few months back as it continued playing half way of an episode already.

‘The Office’ is one of your all-time favorite TV shows; the dry and awkward humor it elicited every episode was definitely your cup of tea. You squeal to yourself as you recognize the scene playing out before you; it was Pam and Jim’s wedding, and you feel giddy with the timing knowing that you’re having your own wedding soon enough.

You watch with ease, snickering to yourself when Michael was being an idiotic bum, and shaking your head in disapproval when Pam was experiencing the worst pre-wedding day of her life. You hope to the gods above that doesn’t happen to you.

Soon, the wedding actually begins and you’re already giddy in your seat as you had surmised the two have eloped in a cruise hours prior the real wedding. The two lovebirds finally arrive, and the ceremony begins. Mark finally enters the living room, hair still slightly damp from his shower. From the corner of you eye, you see he was only dressed with some shorts on and so you bite your lip—six years and counting and you’re still flustered at the sight of your fiancé only half dressed around you.

“The Office? Again?” He asks, making himself comfortable next to you as he snakes an arm around your waist. Instinctively, you place your head on his shoulder and nod. “Yeah, it’s a classic.”

“You’ve watched the whole thing, like, four times. Not tired of it yet?”

“I’ve seen you half naked—and more—so many times too, and I’m far from tired,” you tease, poking the middle of his chest for emphasis. You feel the vibration of his laugh as he kisses the top of your head. “I can’t believe you just compared seeing me naked to you watching ‘The Office.’”

“Hey, shh—my favorite part is on!” You shush him, focusing your attention on the screen. It never fails to make you cringe at the sudden change of music they make in the scene, but that’s what you love about it nonetheless. Soon enough, the whole church sounds like a bar in the early 2000s as Chris Brown’s ‘Forever’ blasts on the walls and the guests continue marching in the aisle with their quirky dance moves.

Chuckling in your place, you peek at Mark to see his own reaction and as expected, his eyes are closed and squinting and thus makes you laugh even harder. “Live through the cringe, Mark!” You challenge him, hugging his waist.

He groans outwardly, having watched this too many times due to your incessant nagging but never exactly getting himself used to it. “There is no way in hell we are playing that song at our wedding,” says Mark, firmly, opening his eyes to look at you with desperation.

“What? I already included it in the official playlist, though—“

“You what?”

“I’m kidding, babe!” You chide, kissing his cheek while you hear him grunting at a joke he probably didn’t find as funny as you did. “It’s fun to watch it be played at someone else’s wedding, but I don’t think I can take it when it’s my own,” you explain.

“You can say that again,” Mark agrees, plopping his back against the couch so you can finally lie on his lap instead. He plays with your hair as the two of you continue laughing at the show’s awkwardness. He leans in to kiss you here and there, and all you can see when you look at his eyes are genuine love. And you’re happy, you’re content, because you know it’s all for you. For the rest of your lives.

#got7 imagines #mark tuan imagines #got7 scenarios #mark tuan scenarios #g7hyungnet #emjae fics

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rxry · 7 years

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hey babes ok imma do my best to explain rory lmfao here we go .. it’s long ok

grew up in a pretty chill area. has a twin brother named emmett and they’re basically your textbook siblings. love to embarrass each other, roast each other and then beat the shit out of each other then just cycle back to bein #Bros because u know. Boys.

he was extremely close with his father that worked as a producer which meant he basically grew up on music & that’s what gave him a serious love n passion for it. rory, as you will see, is a huge dolt sometimes but music is his thing he just is in Love with it

so he’s been playing instruments and writing music for as long as he can remember tbh?? he’s That Kid during his school years. his brother emmett also has a love for music but it’s more lowkey. rory wants to make it a career whereas em just has a band on the side more as a hobby – em is actually a tech nerd and is going 2 school for computer science unlike rory who is a trashball

CANCER TW . // uhhh when they’re like sixteen or so their mum gets diagnosed with cancer, which is tough on the whole family tbh. emmett is especially gutted bc he’s real close with her but everything really falls apart after their mum starts treatment. their dad finds it way too difficult and p much leaves them in the middle of the night with nothing but a note that basically says ‘sorry but i didn’t sign up for this’

a nightmare, honestly. rory is a very emotional person –– even though most of the time it manifests in anger or rebellion tbh, anyone who knows him Knows he’s just emotionally overloaded 24/7.. it’s not that he doesn’t care it’s that he literally cares Too Much. emmett is much more reserved, so he just decides he hates his father and moves tf on. rory is so gutted because him n his father were so close that him & his band decide fuck it, leave school and decide to play dive bars until they get discovered.

this causes massive tension back home because rory basically leaves his ill mother and also leaves emmett, who has to DEAL with their ill mother and cope with their dad leaving all on his own. it’s a gross situation, but their mum is a Tru Mother and knows her kids.. doesn’t really hold it against rory ‘cause she knows why he did it. emmett takes longer to come around because he’s just a bitter bitch, but they’re brothers and they do love each other so with time things iron themselves out.

rory actually does get discovered and he gets Big. like big big. massively big. he spends the next couple years pumping out song after song, album after album to ride the wave tbh and this boy.. LOVES being on stage. loves it. so he tours as much as he possibly can and just..... loves life tbh he’s living the dream

your Male Taylor Swift –– he was honestly so notorious for having flings & hook ups and writing songs about them?? not necessarily all bad tbh, it’s a mixture of everything, but it was sort of an Iconic thing re: his music lmao. everyone Knooooows if you get involved with him, in a few months time ya better be wary about turning on the radio.

but rory, even before stardom, has really always been a reckless and impulsive person? he’s always been a partier, somewhat mischievous and loves just doing shit for the sake of it. plus he’s diagnosed with bipolar, so that combined with irregular schedules, drugs & alcohol and the ability to do whatever the fuck he wants really fucking runs him into the ground.

he refuses to take his meds either because so much of his inspiration actually comes from riding those emotional highs & lows, it’s what he writes about, and he feels just massive creative block when he’s too stable or just plained numbed out by shitty medication. it fucks too much with what he loves, so it’s not worth it to him.

tho in the end it bites him in the ass because all the substance abuse catches up to him to the point where he can’t.. really get shit done. too high, too drunk all the time tbh. emmett starts trying to help him write shit and get his life together but it’s only so long before he burns the fuck out. 2 many run ins with the law and too many missed commitments and his manager tells him he needs to take a break or his career is going to be in the toilet.

so after some mandatory counselling basically his shot is to switch things up for a bit until he learns to deal with himself, then he wants to get back out there. still, he loves music too much to completely abandon it, which is how he ends up on treble makers.

honestly, he kinda resents it. he’s your modern day 80s washed up rockstar working on a musical tv show and he kinda fucking hated his life at first. but after sobering up more and clearing his head by being away from all the poor influences, he knows it’s probably his best shot. plus, he actually thinks he doesn’t hate acting so much. plus, the good reviews will pump his ego which.. is always great in rory’s books.

he does well on the show because he’s completely trained as a performer –– this bitch spent almost every waking hour and then some performing, and he’s prepared to do it at the drop of a hat. for everything else he misses, that energy is literally shoved into his performances. it’s raw & it’s good – so it’s one thing people can’t complain about when it comes to rory.

personality-wise it’s complicated. by all this asshole-ish behaviour you’d think he’s a total mindless dick with zero regard for anyone. and it’s true in a sense but mostly completely unintentional. like i said, completely ruled by emotion, so it’s hardly ever on purpose that he does dickish things, at least to the people he cares about. with his reputation, a lot of people just think it’s a retired rockstar with a bad attitude and they’re not wrong, but there’s definitely more to rory than meets the eye. most people that know him know that he works in extremes.. so as bad as he can get, he can also be extremely good and is capable of being the most dedicating, loving person you’ll ever come across. he doesn’t craft a dick persona, the public just enjoys focusing on the gross parts, but his good emotions also run rampant, so when he loves you, you’ll know and he’ll do everything to make sure of that.

he’s a lot to handle but really good at his core, if you can wade through the fact that he’s completely riddled with issues and self-destructive behaviours tbh.

he’s also ?? just funny ?? like he’ll flip off the paps if they’re annoying him, but also is just jokes 80% of the time if nobody’s actively trying to piss him off and will prob just flash them his ass, get a laugh, wave, blow some kisses n move on with his life. sometimes he’s just a giant kid tbh. if you take him too seriously you’re probably in for trouble, because he basically just loves 2 troll & roast people for the fun of it. he is so dramatic at times but he knows it, so chances are he’s probably just being melodramatic to yank your chain and get a laugh out of you.

anyways this is my adorable problematic son soooo pls bring him all the plots.

#zenith:intro #illness //#addiction //#mentions of drug use and what not

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mysteriouslydarktale-blog · 8 years

Text

Does Not Protect Against...

Does Not Protect Against…

(Part 1)

By: V-Nasty

Underneath the fluorescent lights of a local Walmart Supercenter, I examined the reddish and purplish blood spots spewed across my inner elbow. I stopped breathing momentarily and looked up to ensure the stall was still locked. There seemed to be no one else inside the bathroom.

With my skirt and panties still pooled around my ankles, I got up frantically in hopes of getting a better look. The spots were not painful to touch, they were not tender, nor were they sunken in or raised up. They were flat, blotchy and the entire area of my inner arm looked diseased…infected.

I racked my brain for anything that could possibly explain this sudden eruption of flat patches on my skin. As far as I was concerned, I was not sick – there was no recent trauma caused to that area, I was not anemic nor did I have a virus or a bacterial infection. I didn't have a history of anything in my family…so --what?

"The birth control." I whispered to myself in sudden realization and relief. "This shit has to be a side effect of the birth control."

My gynecologist recently wrote me a prescription for a new brand of birth control named, "Sanzique". It was a new, revolutionary method of contraception because a single pill was effective in preventing pregnancy and regulating menstruation for an entire year. It was also supposed to cause minimal to no side effects.

Without insurance, pricing ranges from about $2500-3000 for a 3-year treatment. Fortunately, my insurance covered approximately 80% of the prescription.

Since I was newly sexually active, I decided to chance it.

It was super convenient, easy to swallow, and caused no adverse side effects…until now.

I was able to breathe a little easier now that I discovered the root of the problem. I had scheduled a follow up appointment with my gynecologist for Tuesday – it was Sunday.

I slowly sank back down onto the toilet seat and sat still for a few seconds. I took another deep breath and felt a mild vibration in my bra. Pulling the cellphone out without unlocking it, I read the message displayed vividly on the screen.

Duke <3: Where r u Leah?

My insides churned unpleasantly. I must've been lost in my own thoughts for at least 30 minutes, leaving my boyfriend to navigate through the cluttered Walmart aisles on his own.

After flushing, wiping and pulling up my garments, I made my way out of the stall and into the main area of the bathroom. I scrutinized myself in the mirror and cringed at how pale and solemn I looked under the incandescent lighting. Briskly turning on the faucet, I splashed some cold water on my skin – a lady and her child walked in.

"Hurry up Candace," the lady admonished her toddler. "I asked you if you wanted to go before we left."

I smiled awkwardly at them as I dried my hands. The little girl rushed into one of the stalls as I made my way out towards the door.

Grimacing under the bright lights and bustling activity, I pulled my phone out of my bra once and again and dialed Duke's number. After three rings, I could feel myself melting at this deep voice.

"Love, where are you?" He started. "I'm in the chips aisle grabbing some stuff for the game tonight."

I started smiling in spite of myself and made my way towards the middle aisles of the store. "Oh gosh, who's playing? The Miami Whales and who else -- "

"I'm going to stop you right there," He said, in his deep, vibrating voice. I could envision him frowning over a bag of Doritos and started to laugh. "It's the Miami Dolphins. I'm hurt, you know that's my favorite team."

I laughed even harder. "Aww, don't start crying boo, I'm playing. I'm coming over right now." I disconnected the line and proceeded to walk a little faster towards the snack aisle.

There he was in all his splendor; carefully deciding between two big bags of Cool Ranch and Fiery Habanero Doritos. He stood a tall 6'4 with a very broad build. His skin tone was the darkest of ebonies; a sea of unblemished and smooth flesh. His most striking feature, however, were his almond shaped eyes. They were amber, tawny and draped by the darkest eyelashes I've ever seen on a man. I would be eternally jealous - he didn’t deserve those eyelashes.

"Why don't you take both?" I asked, making him jump slightly. "Or how about you take every flavor? That's what you always end up doing anyways." He leaned in and kissed the top of my forehead.

"See, you're smart. That's why I like you," He said. I laughed and helped grab every flavor of Doritos on the shelf. After swaying back and forth, placing bags of chips and jars of dip into the cart – I suddenly felt tired. If I was being completely honest, I've been experiencing long episodes of fatigue for the past couple of months – just after the start of Sanzique. I stopped for a second and sighed.

Must be another side effect of the pill.

Just a couple more days and I'll be able to consult with my physician.

"You good, babe?" Duke asked, snapping me out of my trance.

I nodded. "Yes. Can we go now boo? It's game night and everybody in Atlanta is here tonight."

He grabbed my hand and planted a kiss in my palm. "I'm ready to watch them Miami Whales."

_______________________________________________________________________

After about an hour of sitting in traffic, we finally made it to my condo. It was located in the posh Atlanta neighborhood of, "Sunnydale." My parents resided extremely close to me, in an adjacent neighborhood. There was extreme comfort in the fact that they were so close.

My father owned a record studio in Downtown Atlanta and my mother worked as a plastic surgeon at Grady Memorial Hospital. Due to their prominent titles, I lived a very privileged life and was afforded a plethora of opportunities. I was never told no.

After graduating from Howard University, I ventured out on my own. I landed a position as a Paralegal at prestigious law firm in downtown Atlanta and rented out a studio condominium for myself and by myself.

I enjoyed the pleasures of living alone but I also loved having Duke sleep next to me every night.

Before plopping down loudly on the leather sectional, Duke immediately turned on the television and changed through the stations until he found ESPN2.

"Damn! My Dolphins down by 5,' he opened a bag of chips while I rolled my eyes and made my way over to the bathroom.

After a futile attempt to tame my hair in front of the mirror, I reached towards the medicine cabinet and grabbed the Sanzique box. I peeled off the information packet on the side of the box and I started reading the instructions and list of side effects

Most Common Side effects include:

Rash

Fatigue

Night Sweats

Nausea

Weight Gain/Loss

Fever

Swollen Lymph Nodes

Sore throat

Mouth Ulcers

I started to panic, Sanzique wasn't as safe as the ads suggested it to be and so far I've experienced 4/7 most common side effects. Along with the rash and fatigue, I've undergone slight weight loss and had frequent night sweats and fevers. I, however, shrugged this off in the past and credited these symptoms to elevated stress from a busier lifestyle. The pill was effective for a year which meant I would probably be suffering for about 9 or so months.

Although I was slightly discouraged, I had to be optimistic. This just was a minor setback and hopefully my gynecologist could offer some kind of cure or remedy to help combat these symptoms.

"MY BOYS!" Duke bellowed in the background. "That's what I'm talking about! We got this!"

I smiled and I smiled again, wholeheartedly, because no one can ignite a happiness within me like he could. I knew I was in love but I refused to be the first one to say so and I knew I was in love because I was able to accept all his flaws, including. screaming on a Sunday night and disrupting the neighbors.

I made my way out the bathroom and joined him on the couch. He offered me a bag of chips and smeared some onion dip on the top of my nose. I laughed as he licked it off and we watched the remainder of the game together – in semi-silence.

"YES! THEM MY BOYS!" He bellowed once again as the Miami Dolphins landed another touchdown.

_______________________________________________________________________

I woke up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. Beside me, Duke was sleeping soundly. My breaths were short and shallow and I tried hard to compose myself. Just one more day until I could consult with my doctor. I told myself this for what seemed like a thousand times before I forced my eyes shut.

_______________________________________________________________________

Monday came around and it was dull and uneventful. I was assisting my boss with a 5-month rape case and worked primarily in his office, despite the fact that I had my own cubicle. It was a mindless blur of copying, scanning, re-sorting, re-editing, re-organizing, re-investigating and re-crying. I was severely fatigued with a headache that threatened to kill me. I wanted nothing more than to go home and I was just about to ask for permission to leave before:

"Leah?" Rick called softly. He was a partner of the firm, my main boss and a trusted colleague. "Do you have a moment?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Of course I had a moment, a large portion of my life was dedicated to assisting him. "Yeah Rick, what's up?"

"Are you okay?" The sincerity and concern in his voice was enough to make me cry. "You've been looking different lately…. not like your usual self."

'What do you mean?"

"I mean you've lost quite a bit of weight and you look tired…you look exhausted." He was tentative. "I don't mean to but in but I was just curious. I mean – the work you do is still up to par but I can't help but to think that's it requiring a lot of energy from you."

My heart dropped deep into my stomach, I felt a hard knot begin to form in my throat and swallowed. "N-no Rick, it's cool. Actually, I am feeling a bit tired but it's probably with all the stress from this case."

Looking exceedingly skeptical, Rick stood up from his desk and walked over to my diminutive working area. "Leah, I'd like to think that you can speak to me about matters aside from work," He clutched my hand. "I am your boss, yes, but we've been working together for nearly 3 years. I am also your friend. You’re like a daughter to me. Whatever it is…please, I'm here."

I started to cry. "Rick, I'm sorry. Thank you but I have a really bad headache and my chest hurts. Can I go home?"

A wave of intense guilt rocked me as I looked at his concerned face. He squeezed my hand and lifted my chin. "Go home," he said sympathetically. "I know you have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Please take the rest of the week off – I'm always here if you need me."

I sniffed loudly, nodded and grabbed my bag on my way out of the office. I didn't bother to wipe my eyes or my nose. I practically ran out of the firm, my heels clicking noisily against the ceramic tile.

_______________________________________________________________________

I slept for the entire day – barely able to get out of bed for a class of water. I submerged myself deep inside my comforters and peaked through the sheets to check the time. It was about 2:15 am – Duke should be home soon. He worked as manager for a sports bar downtown called, "Shirley's Temple"

I felt myself easing in and out of consciousness and then…warmth.

The warmth of a physical body. The warmth of a large, muscular being sliding into bed beside me.

I smiled weakly when he kissed my nose. 'Hey Duke," I whispered.

"Hello beautiful," he whispered back, rubbing my back in long, sweeping motions. I wondered briefly if he noticed how sweaty I was.

"Do me a favor boo," I closed my eyes as he raked his fingers through my hair. "Go to the bathroom and throw away my birth control."

"You sure?" He asked hesitantly. I could make out his potent amber eyes in the darkness, I could see him frowning but he never stopped petting my unruly curls.

"Yes babe," I said. He removed the covers off of himself and quietly made his way towards the bathroom. "I love you Duke," I whispered. I wasn't certain whether he heard me and instantly regretted saying it.

"I love you too." He said finally and I watched as his silhouette exited the room.

______________________________________________________________________

My follow up appointment was scheduled bright and early. I was expected to be at the office by 9 am. I kissed Duke tenderly on the cheek before grabbing my keys, my insurance card, my ID and my credit card. I felt a little apprehensive but more relieved than anything else. I was positive that my doctor would help me figure this out – we would come up with a solution together.

I arrived at the doctor's office at approximately 8:30, signed off some paperwork, submitted a 50-dollar co-pay and waited anxiously.

I checked Facebook on my phone, I started reading the news. I even scrolled through and liked every single post on Twitter and Instagram – anything to keep my mind off of these portentous thoughts.

"Leah?" A nurse finally called from the door leading to the exam room. She held an open laptop in her hand. She was short and stumpy with blonde hair and a very kind face. "You can follow me," she continued with a deep southern accent.

I grabbed my purse and followed her into the examination area. "Hey Leah, my name is Joy, I'll be taking your vitals." She gingerly laid the laptop a wooden desk and focused all her attention on me.

I nodded. "Okay."

"Please step on to that, sweetie" She said, pointing towards the scale next to the bed and I obliged. "Alright, 125 pounds. How tall are you?"

"About 5'7."

"Okay, you're still at a healthy weight." She observed. "You look a little on the small side though."

"I lost about 20 pounds." I remarked. Her neutral expression contorted into a look of concern and slight shock. "In a span of…2 months."

"Okay…that's something we definitely want to address to the doctor." She said slowly. "I'm just going to check your blood pressure now." She grasped the blood pressure device from the wall and wrapped the thick blue flap around my arm.

"Okay, blood pressure is normal." She smiled softly, peeling the flap off my arm. "Alright Leah, what did you want to talk to the doctor about?" She walked over towards the desk to grab her laptop.

"I'm experiencing all these weird symptoms from the Sanzique," I explained and suddenly wanted to cry, I was so overwhelmed. "Like um…extreme fatigue, weight loss – night sweats, loss of appetite…"

"Okay sweetie," she said, typing vigorously on her laptop. "I will let the doctor know – she will be with you shortly."

When Joy existed the room. I tried not to throw myself into a fit of tears. My nerves, like waves of static, cursed through my entire body. I wanted to leave, I wanted to vanish or teleport to a completely different location – I didn't want to have a panic attack in the middle of the office. The walls were closing in – I wanted to sprint out and never come back but if I did, I wouldn't be able to function properly anymore. I needed to solve this enigma.

There was a knock on the door and I took a very deep breath.

My gynecologist, Dr. Michelle Hyman, was a very tall and very attractive black woman. She always had her hair up in a bun, she wore cat-like eyeglasses, and her full lips were virtually always covered in a crimson lipstick.

"Hey girl," She said brightly and took a seat by the desk. "How are we today? Joy told me you were experiencing some pain from the birth control?"

I nodded.

"I'm going to be honest with you Leah," She said. "Sanzique is one of the safest drugs on the market with little or no side effects. Some of my patients do experience slight nausea and weight loss but your case is a little extreme."

I started sobbing. "I know…I know…I just…I just don’t know why I'm reacting so badly to it."

"Hey," She cooed. "Hey sweetie, although your symptoms are extreme, they aren't unheard of." She offered me a tissue. "We'll get to the bottom of this. You'll be okay in no time. Since it’s been 6 months since your last visit, I'm going to order an STD blood test panel – the results should be in within 30 minutes. I am also going to prescribe a vitamin to open your appetite, something for fatigue and something for physical pain. Okay sweetie? You’re too beautiful to be crying girl"

I smiled weakly.

"Okay, now, Joy should be in the backroom. She's going to conduct the blood-test," Dr. Hyman smiled at me radiantly and rubbed my thigh before she left the room."

I wiped my eyes and followed Dr. Hyman out of the room. I found Joy grabbing several tubes and syringes out of the cabinets in the lab. She grinned at me and asked me to sit into a recliner. She slipped on a pair of plastic gloves and asked me to form a fist with my hand. I looked away as she sank the needle into my flesh,

_______________________________________________________________________

Although slightly dizzy and lightheaded, I was feeling more optimistic than usual. I was finally going to be treated and hopefully get back to my normal self.

I looked around, the waiting room was empty.

I wanted to speak with Duke. I desperately need to hear that deep voice I loved so much. Clutching my bag, I pulled out my phone and looked for his name – he answered within 3 rings.

"Hey beautiful."

"Hey babe."

"How you feeling?"

"I'm so much better now that I'm hearing your voice. I'm just waiting for some results. The usual."

"Okay Leah," he said, his voice softer than usual. "I'm here when you get back home. I love you..."

"I love you more," I responded thickly and I knew in my very core that it was the truth. "See you later," I had to disconnect the call - I could feel myself choking up.

_______________________________________________________________________

"Leah?" Joy called after almost an hour of me twiddling my thumbs and waiting anxiously in the main area. "Dr. Hyman is ready for you."

I got up slowly and followed Joy to the exam room. Dr. Hyman had her back towards the door, she was typing away furiously on her laptop. I smiled at Joy before she departed, closing the door to the room. Dr. Hyman looked up from her laptop falteringly.

"Sit wherever you want babe," she said.

I hopped clumsily onto the the examination bed and waiting impatiently for her to speak.

"You tested positive for HIV."

The room was silent.

I never had an out-of-body experience before. But in that very moment, I felt as if I was floating around my own body. I felt as though Dr. Hyman violated some kind of privacy law by disclosing a diagnosis that wasn't meant for me. I had a sudden and overwhelming urge to gag. I opened and closed my mouth a few times – willing something, anything to come out.

Finally: "How?"

But I knew exactly how.

Duke was the only person I've ever had sex with. The only person I've ever made out with, the only person I've ever slept next to, the person I've shared the darkest, most poignant memories of my past with.

The only person I've ever been in love with.

Duke, my strength, my friend, my confidant, my love was the person to cause me the most unbearable pain I've ever felt in my life.

I grasped my chest, my heart shattered into a trillion little pieces.

Dr. Hyman looked somber as she continued on, ignoring my question. "The Sanzique exhibits side effects almost identical to the the symptoms of HIV. Your white blood count was very low Leah."

She kept talking but I was barely listening. The sound of my rapid heartbeat was deafening.

"I know that you're feeling extremely overwhelmed and confused right now. We will set up a treatment plan that accommodates your needs. Talk to Duke about this – remember Leah, you can still live a healthy life. HIV is not the death sentence it was 30 years ago."

But little did she know, I already died.

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