#this took my whole day I mean what

[vivitalks]

man. derek is such an interesting character in season 1, especially when you can look at him through the lens of having seen the whole show, because he's like an unreliable narrator for scott, even though he's not a narrator for the show.

the thing is, derek in season 1 is the primary vehicle for werewolf lore. as new viewers, we're reliant on his character to explain to us the rules and conceits of the genre, but once you've seen the whole show, that role is no longer necessary. but for scott, in season 1, derek is the sole source of werewolf intel. derek is werewolf jesus. which means that everything scott initially learns about being a werewolf is filtered through the Derek Hale Trauma Matrix, and neither of them know it.

for example: in 1x05, derek tells scott that pain is what keeps you human (which is a mantra that gets repeated and referenced a ton over the course of the rest of the show). scott has been a werewolf for all of five seconds, and has no choice but to take the word of this obviously much more knowledgeable werewolf. in that way, derek operates as a kind of narrator for scott, giving him information and context he couldn't really get any other way. but it's unreliable info. don't get me wrong - derek isn't trying to be an unreliable narrator; he's not aware of how much his life experience has colored his understanding of his own species. it's just that...well...derek is a twenty-something with the kind of trauma that eats other trauma for breakfast. of course he would say that pain is what keeps you human. at this point in the show, pain is all he has.

this is the same guy who, in the next episode, says this:

DEREK: You getting angry? That's your first lesson. You want to learn how to control this, how to shift-- you do it through anger, by tapping into a primal animal rage, and you can't do that with her around. SCOTT: [defensively] I can get angry. DEREK: Not angry enough. This is the only way that I can teach you.

except we know, and scott quickly learns (in that very same episode, in fact), that this isn't true. anger doesn't work for everyone, and it doesn't work for scott, who's not an angry person. the things that work for derek won't work for all werewolves - but how would derek know that? he's never had to teach someone to be a werewolf before. he's not actually werewolf jesus.

to scott, derek is the only trustworthy source of information on being a werewolf, because he's the only werewolf scott knows. and from derek's perspective, everything he knows about being a werewolf must be true, because it's true for him. derek is the narrator, and it's only as his backstory unfolds that the viewers, and scott, learn just how much his history and trauma have obscured the reality of things, even for derek himself.

pain is not what makes you human. it's what makes derek human. because the moments in derek's life that stand out to him most are all tinged with tragedy. mercy killing his high school girlfriend. losing his entire family in a house fire. the death of his sister. for derek, to be human is to be in pain, and to be angry about that is the only way to be in control. after all, he doesn't have anyone teaching him otherwise.

[daily-grian]

I’ve gotta sit down at some point and do a proper classpecting session for the Hermits & co, but for some quick musings Prince of Time!Grian feels appropriate

[theflyingfeeling]

so we went to the Nokia Arena show and it looked so cool and it sounded so cool and I was dancing and singing and screaming and Niko played a medley on the piano and brb I'm gonna paint red BC logos on my piano too and he also rapped in Finnish ("kun mä huudan havuja te huudatte PERKELE") and they dressed in white and played the Backstreet Boys cover and it was so much fun and we went to the offical after party and they came to say hi there too (minus Niko) and Samy was there and I talked to him and Tommi walked right past us when we were about to leave and I said "hi" and he said "yeah pls leave me alone" and a lot of fun was had in the form of laughing and dancing and singing and I love you all can we do this again immediately pls pls pls I don't wanna go back to living my boring life 😭

[running-in-the-dark]

well it took a week but I finally got all the signatures I needed on that stupid document, and I've now sent it to the last person I had to send it to. soo. now I'm fully, completely done with uni. I should get my diploma soon. I'm not even excited, just relieved it's finally over lol

[maulfucker]

Poast about the "fucking some guy" saga behind the scenes because I can't shut up about it :]

The idea of this series started as just some Maul porn (possibly as a kinda flashback in what became They finally fuck each other this time) where he fucks a guy. Originally i was thinking of going with a twi'lek because they're what we see as sex workers the most in canon, and also the idea of them having two dicks (to match the two headtails) entertains me

As mentioned before, the base of They finally fuck each other this time is actually a wip I've had for Months and didn't know where to go with

There was a scene in the wip where Obi-Wan gives Maul a patdown to check if he's really unarmed, but it was not homoerotic enough and felt kinda out of place and out of character so I cut it

(There were also supposed to be more scenes with Bo-Katan, but once again. did not fit well enough.)

There was gonna be a scene like right after they fuck where Obi-Wan gets a call from the Jedi Council because he's been gone and out of contact for Hours so of course they're worried. and he's like. "oh don't worry I was just having a conversation with a slightly paranoid possible new ally. nothing much going on :) " [<- his neck is visibly covered in hickeys and bite marks]

[yoda voice] some bacta you need. terrible post coital manners your new friend has.

The original original idea continues well after where I ended the series, and involved Maul being imprisoned after Bo-Katan gets the throne except he's put in like. a ray-shielded apartment. and Obi-Wan has to live with him. because there's no way simple technology can keep a Force user imprisoned so they should have a jedi guard him, and Bo-Katan asked him so nicely, how could he possibly refuse to submit to the torture of living a domestic life with his nemesis with benefits.

And from then on it's all just. silly gay slice of life.

Like.

Very awkward jedi visits because everyone wants to see how Obi-Wan is doing but they're all distrustful of Maul even though he's just. vibing in his corner. sipping tea or reading a book. ignoring everyone staring at him.

VERY awkward Anakin and Padmé visit because he Senses she is pregnant and the children (he can feel it's twins) are Force-sensitive and he's like. well that's Interesting [<- doing his best not to bring up the topic of fucking jedi]

(the visit slowly turns into talking about the merits of leaving the Jedi Order for love and how that's totally fine and not a betrayal of one's morals and if someone wanted to stop being a jedi to go marry a senator and become a father that would be totally fine Anakin we would all be so happy for you. hypothetically.)

A mandalorian tries to "jailbreak" Maul but he's like. I'm fine where I am, so no thank you. and this probably happens like once a month.

Arguing about tea (it's like a hobby for them) (force help anyone who visits them during these arguments, they WILL force people to take sides)

And more!

[ventiswampwater]

she’s the moment

[brown-little-robin]

he's crying and they put the triumph theme over it. that's it. I'm done. I'm going to bed.

[alixlives]

sometimes i wish people could properly understand why i apologize for falling asleep before or during a conversation

[fingertipsmp3]

I wish all food service workers who are weird about regulars always ordering the same specific thing and tease them for it a very “please don’t do that”

[rosicheeks]

.

[milo-is-rambling]

Me vs outlining a perfect plan for my day in my head which I can be the only one allowed to change the schedule vs my mom asking me to do 2 simple tasks

[enypneon]

rawiya's bio is up and i managed to do a bit of foenix's ─ i think that's my big project for now (writing bios) and in between i'll try to get drafts and plots done 🥹 tomorrow is my last day of work until the 31st (yep, late shift) and i'm optimistic.

[ranger-kellyn]

look. i don't care what anyone says, if you're someone who wants a partner, you deserve one that doesn't yell at you. you deserve a partner that doesn't make you walk on eggshells. you deserve a partner who you can have civil discussions with when disagreements come up. you deserve a partner who doesn't try to intimidate you in any way when they're mad. you deserve a partner who doesn't "keep score".

[edsbacktattoo]

I'm sure you get this a lot, but I read Ink and Ichor the other day and it's lived in my mind ever since. I'm amazed at how well you describe the feelings of being in love— the way you do it is so poetic and lovely and also wholly engrossing. I was feeling everything the characters were feeling. The characterization was spot on, and it was all so romantic and soft in the best ways. I just had to tell you thank you for writing it and sharing it! It made my life better. 💜

i'm absolutely in shambles over this, thank you so very much! this is such incredibly high praise and I absolutely cherish it. comments like this are precisely the reason I always return to writing, so thank you from the very bottom of my heart. you've made my day. :') <3

[lunarsapphism]

.