#i just… i don’t know where i was going with this rant. i just hate being teased about what i eat bro

[emmitaaa4]

Getting exponentially tired of the “elriels want 👹” posts in the elain tags where they proceed to either A) outright invent stuff B) act holier than thou about how they care so much for Elain because they C) misconstrue the little they hear from our side in bad faith, or D) just completely miss the point they’re addressing.

it’s one thing to be bitter about a ship, but geez theyre getting mad at generalizations they made up about what we think. it has to be tiring. non?

small rant beneath, just to vent. yes i know i can (& should) block certain tags, but reading frustrating content is a hobby of sorts.

Im genuinely convinced all these “ewriel”-myths they keep talking about are a result of a bad game of telephone—they hear a random thing a gwynriel says, go “they’re all stupid/delusional/immature (insult of choice) so i don’t doubt what you’re saying”, then repeat it to others.

It’s obvious by the way they wholeheartedly believe that Elain is our puritanical-warrior-self-insert we use to vicariously F Azriel (😃✋). Doesn’t help that they usually don’t look as deeply into Elain as we do & tend to get stuck on obviously superficial statements about her: they cannot seem to fathom an Elain that isn’t just a once-bright socialite wilting away sans her sun-mate. So any hint of darkness/savviness we see in her is just us moulding her into Y/N. sigh

anyways.

I can say i’ve read their posts on here, a ton prior to being involved and some now. I’ve seen their tiktoks & video essays, their powerpoints & reddit posts. i’ve seen their comments all over insta/tiktok (kinda hard to miss, they jump on elriel content with their “um shadows and um pliable bones and mates!!” comments). I am WELL aware of what the general consensus is on that side—which is why I am generally unbothered by GA, don’t mind EL, and am just peacefully sailing aboard my ship waiting for it to reach destination.

And because I care about Elain’s journey, I try to see the story the way they do when i encounter certain elucien arguments. For if i am to even just privately engage in the sHip wArs, i know to remain ✨critical✨ and ✨open minded✨.

… there’s no point turning discussions into angry posts against imaginary adversaries.

EVERY elriel i’ve talked to would read an elucien book because it is Elain’s story we are most anticipating. It’s just very telling to me that very few would do the same; that there’s not a whiff of willingness from most of them to listen to the other side.

The funny thing is that all those anti eWrieL posts** i’ve read tend to address twisted versions of “the elriel narrative.” They take things out of context, or say we have the same 3 arguments—which is genuinely insane bc if you know our ship so well, how can you be off by like 2 orders of magnitude ??? (exaggerating if it wasn’t clear, we can’t know these days).

** Their pro GA content reads very anti-Az, used to be very anti-elain, and has a narrow scope ngl. While the bonus matters, it seems like that is ALL they’ve read. They don’t think much about Elain’s journey or powers or decisions, which is just logically not the best way to analyze the series given she IS what’s to come.

✨Just some common myths they believe✨:

they repeatedly claim that elriels want poor elain to be a kickass warrior torturer to fit Az because they A) don’t actually read our stuff B) enjoy thinking we hate elain, and C) can’t fanthom that spying isn’t 007 ninja activities.

apparently we ship elriel because we think they have this big great romance OFF PAGE 😭. how in the hell— i’ll make a post on this one istg it’s lowkey funny. quick, were nessian strangers and unfeeling towards each other at the start of SF ???? damnit i must’ve missed that.

En tout cas. End of rant the rest stays in the drafts lmao.

but istg one day i’ll cave in and unleash the essays of rebuttals and psychoanalyses of their arguments / thought processes just for shit and giggles.

[vamp4kaulitz]

Bill k. X Reader w/ Thunder thighs? HC pls,or imagine whatever you want really (DO NOT FEEL PRESSURED,YOU NEED SLEEP,YOU NEED TO EAT,AND MAKE SURE YOU READ ENOUGH FANFIC)

BILL KAULITZ X GN! READER W THUNDER THIGHS HCS

pairing: bill kaulitz x gn! reader

hika🕷️:: TYSMM FOR THE REQUEST MLLL!! I will make sure I’m taking care of myself, I love you smm💞!! sorry i haven’t been posting- i lowk dont know what to write😢. lol it’s 2am rn.

SFW

i feel like bill is a thigh guy and he would LOVE your thighs sm. i mean he would always have this hands on your thighs, he would just be the touchy lil guy he is.

he’d definitely help rub coconut oil on them<3 this man loves helping you out, especially because he loves feeling your soft skin.

if you feel insecure about them, he would reassure you and kiss all over them. bill would kiss and nip at your thighs, whispering praises.

if you ever decided to get rid of them by working out, he’d be a bit but he would always be there to support you(such a good boyfriend)

would DEFINITELY use your legs as pillows. bill would stuff his face between your things 24/7. if not, he would rub and kiss them without a care in the world.

if someone points out your thighs in a negative way, best believe this man is THROWING HANDS!! how could someone talk about his precious baby like that? especially in front of him? hes not letting any insult go unheard.

“the fuck did you just say? why don’t you mind your own fucking business and leave them alone!” he shouted at them loudly, not caring who looks.

“say one more fucking thing and i will knock your teeth out.” he spat and grabbed your hand and walked away<33

if you ever ranted on how you hate your thighs, he’d be right by your side, listening to you. he would comfort you no matter what.

“i just hate my things, they are so annoying..!” you sobbed out and bill hugged you tightly.

“im sorry you feel that way baby. your unique, always remember that okay?”

NSFW (skip if uncomfortable)

oh gosh where can I even start? he would leave all types of hickeys all over them.

while eating you out, he would push them apart and squeeze them while he worked his way with you, demanding you to not close your legs.

“keep these beautiful legs spread for me, liebe.”

oh my gosh SIT ON HIS FACE PLSS. he downright begs for it, not caring if he seems desperate, that’s because he is.

“please please please schatz i want you to sit on my face!!” he whined as he begged and begged.

“but my thighs bill- what if they squish you or run out of breath?” you pouted. he didn’t care if he couldn’t breath after.

after some convincing you’d give in. he was like a happy kid who’s parent got them what they wanted from the store.

“fine fine fine! ill sit on your face, you happy?” you groaned and he smiled so widely. “i promsieee it’ll feel so good!” he said excitedly.

you didn’t put your full weight on him because you were scared of squishing him with your thighs. you lowered yourself on him, but not fully.

“i said, put your full weight on me.” he said and gripped your thighs and pushed you down on his face. you moaned loudly as his tongue skillfully moved against you, his tongue piercing feeling so so good.

You came so hard that you could’ve sworn you saw stars. You pulled off his face and he wiped his mouth and smirked.

“told ya you’d like it.” he teased and you rolled your eyes playfully.

hika🕷️:: i wrote this in one sitting goodbye..also requests are finally open sooo send me your horny stuff you lil goobers!! remember NOT to cross my rules!!

[eddiediazismyhusband]

do yall ever read a fic that’s like……….. is this even a buddie fic atp bc it feels like a buck/omc or eddie/omc fic that spends the entire focus on the omc just for the ending to be a “oh they were mutual pining the whole time and just didn’t realize it wow true love” and it’s like….. the actual relationship wasn’t built up at all??? and they just make the omc a carbon copy of the other and so it’s like… they’re basically dating them anyway so it feels weird when they just randomly get together? idk i hate amicable breakups in stories too where they make the person out to be a flawless angel and its like…. do you even like buck or eddie atp bc it feels like you spent your whole fic going “omg _____ is so happy with this new guy and he’s everything he ever dreamed of and he has no faults whatsoever and he and _____ are best bros and there is absolutely nothing hinting at any sort of attraction between them” and then you get to the last chapter and it’s like “oh but actually _____ is told by another character that ‘i thought it would always be you and _____’ and they go wait do you mean im in love with _____??? and the other character is like ‘yes you are’ and then they go to the omc who has been like the central focus of this story for the entire fic and go ‘we have to break up im in love with _____’ and the omc is like ‘i know, i could tell, it’s always been ______’” and im like….. how was it “always” buck and eddie when you spend the entire story focused on this omc relationship and barely have any scenes with buddie showcasing their relationship/buildup? literally portraying them as being head over heels in love w each other and portraying them as soulmates and shit just for them to be like “but no the whole time _____ subconsciously wanted _____” without any indication… like at least the show gives us interactions and subtext whenever they’re in relationships w other people they don’t just completely ignore the fact that the two of them actually interact with each other 💀💀💀 and im not even talking about forced/self isolation i mean they just literally do not write buddie interacting and it’s like damn at that point write the fic as an established relationship fic and drop the getting together plot from the last chapter bc it feels like you ship them w your omc than the other anyway 😭😭😭

sorry for the rant post i just spent 2 hours reading a fic waiting for the mutual pining only for it to be eddie/omc for 16 chapters and then a full chapter of eddie mourning the breakup and then 1 chapter of actual acknowledgement of buck and eddie having and kind of interactions w each other and it was tagged as a buddie mutual pining fic…. but we didn’t even get a whole chapter of mutual pining….

anyway-

[elysiumcalled]

Next time somebody at work asks if I can help I’m just saying no idfc anymore

[privaterecording1clips]

I have been away since the MCC, and I haven't been really posting things or keeping up with the group activity. Imagine my fucking reaction when I wake up on a Sunday morning to Discord exploding over night.

I have some conflicting emotions towards CCs talking so openly about fanfics. Part of me is glad that they acknowledge our existence, like I know a few of them are here, and even seen my own posts, like OMG MY STREAMERS KNOW I EXIST. And fanfics, it's huge! It's a step up from liveblogging and headcanon posts, it's a fanart in its spirit, but painted with words, and similarly poured the author's soul into.

But there's like that thing with...prejudice? I've seen people mention fanfiction in Chilled's streams before, and in yt as well, and there were not exactly positive opinions. I know they were talking about there being very few smut works, but it feels like they were bringing them up the most, and it's just frustrating to not be understood in the right way. After all, everything we do here, and everything we write on Ao3 is us expressing our love and support in the ways we can, none of us have any malicious thought or want to be hurtful and spread hatred or smth.

Do you think there's a world where they could speak of Tumblr/Ao3 part of their community from a bit of a different angle? Do you think that fanfiction should be acknowledged and spoken about more?

(Also, I know it's stupid, but I feel just the tiniest bit salty. I wrote good stuff, why won't they talk about me too?!)

Yeah, I have very conflicting emotions about it too. (Mostly I feel betrayed by whoever was linking Platy fics LMAO)

Tumblr and Ao3 get a bad rap for being “cringe” I guess. Personally I think that they are the only places left on the internet that are well-known and not too corrupted by capitalism and algorithms (especially Ao3 my beloved). But I really don’t give a shit - I hate cringe culture with a passion.

But yeah. It’s the whole thing of like. You can’t post works on the internet and expect people (especially the streamers themselves) to just not see it? Because it’s out in the public. They have every right to view it.

But, I’d personally rather my fics NOT be spoken about on a livestream, in front of thousands of people. That’s just my preference, because honestly the reason I post fics at all is this is a very small fandom, and they won’t blow up or be noticed and judged by multitudes of people. I’m far more comfortable with a small audience, and I would not want my fics to be mentioned on stream where lots of people (far too many for my liking) may go looking for them. (This is why I post more about PR1 than mcyt, even tho I love both equally).

But i think if the streamers are fine with fanfic being posted, I see no reason for people to hate on fanfic??? In fact, I see no reason for people to hate it at all? You can inform someone that a creator is uncomfortable with fanfic/certain types of fanworks and ask them to take it down without being a hater. Decency is not difficult, and when you’re in a fandom that is not against fanfic and stuff I don’t see why you’d ever waste your energy hating on something that literally doesn’t effect you?

It’s the same thing with any type of hate comment. If there’s no reason to be upset by something other than the fact that You Don’t Like It, take some preschool advice and walk away. It doesn’t concern you. (Btw Tasha, I don’t mean you specifically, I mean the Royal You!!! Sorry if this was confusing I just realised lmao)

Sorry for getting pretty serious, but I am just quite upset by people who discourage artists when they haven’t done anything wrong.

That said, if a creator has expressed a desire to not have fanworks made of them, then I implore you to respect their boundaries. It’s just the kind thing to do.

[renee-mariposa]

I’m ready to walk out of my job.

The last straw was, this week they cracked down on overtime. This was the last straw for two reasons:

1. Normally (pre-COVID), our patient volumes are lowest in summer. This year, we’re having winter-flu-season patient volumes (flu season is always the busiest time in the hospital). We now have the second busiest ER in the metro, seeing hundreds of patients per day (we’ve reached a thousand per day several times this year!!!) in a 25-bed ER. This is coupled with the fact we’re operating at 30-50% (a third to a half!!) normal nurse staffing, and have been doing so since 2021. There isn’t a staff member in the hospital who is twiddling their thumbs for a second. I heard tonight that the hospital is trying to end all their contracted labor early (and I assume we’re relying heavily on contracted nurses to fill staffing shortages!)

2. Because of this patient load vs low staffing, it is literally impossible for us to finish all the tasks we are assigned each day. But we still have to meet our metrics and are chastised/penalized when we don’t meet them! Worsening the situation: instead of asking each ‘problem’ staffer why they’re always clocking out late, my department management emailed all the problem people with “suggestions on how to leave on time”. Suggestions that are bullshit because they don’t address the actual reason the person gets overtime consistently.

So this whole perfect storm is coming together to convince me that corporate expects us to work off the clock. Which I’m about 95% sure is fucking illegal.

[no1ryomafan]

With more older anime I watch that’s specifically about androids the more I noticed all the influence mega man pulled from it despite it not being a anime nor the robot timeline ever getting a proper anime but I think what gets me more then “the basis of mega man is like astro boy, casshern and POSSIBLY kikaider all in a blender with mega man x making the second two inspos more apparent” is realizing how many villain characters inspired proto man.

You have the obvious one, char from Gundam, you have rock holmes from Astro boy who’s not a confirmed one but seems to track given classic takes a lot of Astro boy influence and then you have Saburo from Android kikaider, the most likely inspo for proto in EVERY category- and then you remember how while these characters are evil for a complex reason, proto man really shines to be different as he changed his ways. He’s still a rival to his “brother” in a sense but bass takes more of the role of the evil mega man, while proto just watches from afar and comes in to help when he thinks he’s needed.

I’m going to rotate this red robot fuck for awhile again FUCK

[whenthegoldrays]

sigh

[jemmo]

i can’t tell you how much i usually hate these ignoring, distancing plots in shows and how much i absolutely adore everything about these 2 episodes of the eighth sense. like im not having a good time, and it’s fantastic.

bc the thing is, in all of this, i can’t see the right way to go, i can’t find the person to blame, i can’t find the way to make it better. I can’t single out a single moment or a thing someone did and say “this is why everything went wrong”. it’s just this coming together and rise and swell of things happening and people feeling things that has us ending up here and it feels beautifully and horribly organic bc we can’t find that point where it all went wrong. was it on that rooftop? was it at the beach? was it when they first met? was it when his brother died? was it when he was born into this family? there is no single point. it’s all of them and it’s none of them. there is truly nothing and no one to blame. and there are bad characters in the show, people you can hate, eunji and taehyung, but neither of them are to blame for any of the bad stuff that happens in the show. you’re not waiting for them to be taken down bc that doesn’t solve anything. instead, it’s just two people hurting, and not knowing how to make it better.

bc you take jaewon, and after what he says at the end of ep 8, you want to hate him, you want to be so angry at him for what he says, for how he acts, how dismissive and hurtful he is, and yet you’ve been made to understand 100% why, and not just in a “i get it but that wasn’t the right thing to do” way, in a “that was horrible and yet i know he doesn’t see any other way to handle this” way. like you don’t see this as a misstep, or a step to far, bc you know for him, in his state of mind, it is completely justified, it’s necessary. bc it not only punishes the person he blames for all of this, himself, but he sees it as a way to protect jihyun. and not even in a cliche “bad things happen when people around me, the people I love always get hurt” kinda way, but more so in that he sees that he is a scared, messy, struggling person that doesn’t know how to handle himself, and doesn’t want to inflict that on anyone, let alone the person he cares about. so what’s worse, a quick, swift blow that hurts but cuts everything off cleanly, or this prolonged relationship where he inevitably continues to weigh jihyun down with the weight of his trauma, and take it out on him. what’s the point of having a place of refuge when you ruin it more and more every time you depend on it, until it eventually can’t offer you comfort. it’s a lesser of two evils, jaewon’s choice is obvious to him.

but then you take jihyun. and we talk about masks and fronts but we never once question whether jihyun wears a mask bc he appears so sweet and innocent and naive, what can this boy possibly be putting up a front for. but i see it, this almost fake it till you make it confidence front that yes is becoming more natural. but my god just think about what he’s gone through for a second. think about it. left home for the first time in his life, moved to an unfamiliar and intimidating city with only one other person he knows, started a new job, started university, tried to build relationships, met a man that intrigues him, and perused him only to be kissed and then ignored, then maybe establish something tentative, only to then see him spiral, go on a trip where he shared his trauma, you have an intimate night together only to almost die, and then be not only ignored, but plain and simple rejected and pushed away. like… you can say all you want about jihyun growing as a person and having more courage, but no amount of growth for however many months this has been going on for can prepare you for that. for the mixed messages on steroids. for the back and forth, not knowing. to give yourself to someone like that and go through something traumatic and then be abandoned by that person. we get it, bc we see all of jaewon’s story. but apart from what jaewon shared at the beach, jihyun doesn’t know any more than that. he doesn’t know about therapy, about how his father acts towards him, about the extent of his trauma and how it manifests and affects his mental health, and how he is struggling every single day. and you can’t expect him to know the depths of that no matter how empathetic and connected he is, how much he cares about jaewon, he can’t be superhuman. and so you get why he pushes and fights for jaewon. like… he is in love. it’s clear. he’s fallen in love with him. he is this wide-eyed, open kid that fell in love with a senior. and jaewon has just messed with his head, he’s never been clear, and you can’t expect jihyun to just get past that bc he knows something is up with jaewon. he can’t know the full story, but even if he did, that can’t be a reason or a justification to be treated the way jaewon treats him. bc we’re all about jaewon putting himself first and doing what he wants and respecting himself like that, but jihyun deserves that too. and it’s such a fine line to tread when you know someone is going through something, bc again you understand why, but you’re still the one being treated that way. like we talk about jaewon’s trauma, but here jihyun was part of it, he went through that traumatic experience. he’s the one that nearly lost his life. and yes, he appears to handle it well, and no matter to what extent that’s true or not, you can’t not look at jaewon struggling and understand it and then not look at jihyun with that same understanding. it’s not about comparing trauma and pain and deciding who is suffering more, it’s seeing that there are two people in this, and they’ve both been affected, so we should give them the same level of understanding.

and that’s something jaewon has to see. that his self-preservation is selfish. that his destructive behavior doesn’t just affect jihyun, instead it feels pointed and directed, bc every way jaewon hurts himself hurts jihyun. and it comes bc jihyun was so much of what was good about jaewon’s life for a second, so attacking that is his only form of self-sabotage. he can’t mess up his relationship with his friends or parents bc they were broken in the first place, and he can’t sabotage his future bc it’s already been ruined the moment he didn’t pursue his photography major. him nearly getting kicked out of school affected him so little not just bc he wanted that punishment, but bc even that punishment meant so little to him. all these things are established and they already contribute to his suffering. removing jihyun from his life is the only active thing he can do to make himself feel worse, and he can veil it in an act of protection, and even feel like he’s doing the right thing, but that deceives them both into believing this is done from a good place, when no good can actually come of it. in trying to protect jihyun, you hurt him more. in trying to hurt yourself, you hurt him too. and when someone is in a headspace like jaewon is, you look for that thing that’ll break through. bc he is so distant, he’s trying to remove himself from reality, and jihyun needs to act as this person that can anchor him to it. when you’re trying to isolate and separate yourself, sometimes seeing that you still affect things, that there’s a persons that exists that is affected and hurt by your actions, and no matter how you try to cut yourself off, you cannot stop that, separating yourself still hurts them, maybe that’s a thing that can get through. but that’s something that depends on jaewon. ultimately, he’s the only one that can get himself out of this place, and that’s what makes it so hard, that no matter how much jihyun cares and how much he fights for him, nothing can come of that effort is jaewon doesn’t meet him there. and it’d be so easy for jihyun to give in, to take the hurt, but over the course of this show we’ve seen the strength jihyun has developed, which has only seemed to increase more so after the accident, call it a renewed vigor for life or something. he has the strength that jaewon doesn’t, to not let his pain consume him. and in a beautiful full-circle moment, it’s because of jaewon, bc when they first spoke he sparked in jihyun a want to be stronger, to be more than the country mouse, and he’s done it. and it’s that courage that means he can fight for jaewon, even in the face of rejection. he trusts himself and that he knows jaewon, the real jaewon, to see past words that are intended to hurt them both, and go after the person that’s still inside jaewon somewhere. no, he can’t do it for him, and no them being together is not some magical cure for jaewon, but it’s what can put him on a path of caring for himself again, and sometimes that has to start with caring about someone else (and suddenly I’m reminded of my beautiful man 2 and how kiyoi tries to break hira out of his worthless mindset by making him care about him, and how ultimately that can’t be enough, and that hira has to take those first steps of seeing his self worth by himself). what jihyun can do by fighting is again act as that tether to reality and try to be this representation of the good jaewon can be and do. bc look at jihyun, look at how confident and strong he has become, and look at how he got there, bc you saw that country mouse and gave him the time of day and helped him grow and gave him new experiences. you jaewon, you. and that shift in mindset, from jihyun representing hurt and the accident and the trauma of his brother and everything he can’t do, to being that light and refuge and everything he can do is again something that might breaks through. and the fact it has such narrative strength and satisfaction makes me hopeful that that’s what we might actually get.

[fingertipsmp3]

I wish all food service workers who are weird about regulars always ordering the same specific thing and tease them for it a very “please don’t do that”

[just-about-nothing]

i think i’m gonna buy a car tomorrow and the whole thing is stressing me out so badly

i’m like utterly hysterical

[bandzboy]

there were found many that many members of the portuguese all over the country are part of this facebook group where they post xenophobic, racist and homophobic posts and for some reason everyone is in shock when the standard for being part of the police is being these things! people wanna claim that there are “good” members of the police but in reality there isn’t bc guess what? this system is rotten to the core and people that claim this only happens in the usa are just delusional this happens with police everywhere in the world! everyone that is part of the police is a scumbag yes even your dad your brother or your uncle they all suck and that’s how it is

[z0mbie1uvr]

time of year where i question if my friends really like me or not 👍🏻

[justarandomguyhere]

:)

[lesbiansaaviik]

Can I be beautifully honest with you guys? I hate 91 Whiskey and So Says the Sword

[hamable]

There should be more twenty-four hour work spaces. It cannot be that hard to implement. If the idea of running a business didn’t make me want to barf I’d do it myself. Take the skeleton of a twenty four hour gym business but instead of paying $10 a month to lift weights I can pay $10 a month to park my butt in a reading nook or at a large table. Bonus points if you run a little cafe in there too but you don’t gotta. I don’t need a bougie ultra hip spot, I need an accessible, comfortable, multi-purpose place I can use at any time. I’ll pay a small fee, thats fine, that’s how business works. Literally I’m thinking 24 hour gym membership but for a study/work space.

And yeah, I’ve got a larger discussion in me about free public spaces and bathrooms and shelter and multi-use spaces but that’s another post for another day.