#this was about me seeing what TW ao3 situation looked like

[yolelejiju]

The Longest Walk Home

After a night out partying with Suguru and Satoru, you naively make the choice to let Suguru walk your inebriated self home.

This is an old fic and was posted before on AO3.

TW : NONCON, Somnophilia, Suffocation, minor blood mention (you get a scratch)

CW: dry humping, drinking, public/exhibitionism, situational humiliation, creepy geto

Word Count: 3,890

Disclaimer: I don’t condone noncon acts or taking advantage of people. I just like to write fucked up men.

It’s not that you didn’t like partying, but that you rarely had the time to. So when you finally did get the opportunity, you’d sometimes go a bit overboard.

Tonight, Satoru and Suguru persuaded you to tag along to some random party. Satoru always felt that you were too serious and needed to “take it easy” but he felt that way about everyone and everything. Suguru often sticks up for you when Satoru would tease you. Knowing he would be at the party allowed you to comfortably say yes.

Tonight was going to be a good night.

Checking yourself out in the mirror, you looked back, making sure your dress hugged your curves well. You rarely dressed up, but if you’re going to be seen by dozens of people, you might as well look hot.

You were feeling your outfit and was eager to see if your boys liked it.

You exited the bathroom with an exaggerated model strut. Your anxiety tells you to hit various dramatic poses to make showing off your slightly slutty ensemble less awkward.

Satoru and Suguru both sit on your bed, appreciating your little fashion show.

“So, what do you guys think?” Despite your attempt to hide your nervousness, your voice cracked toward the end of your sentence.

Satoru leaned back into his hands and spread his legs wide with. You could hear his grin stretching across his face. You were expecting a bigger reaction from them, but all you got was… a thumbs up… from Satoru....

That goblin of a man always found a way to get under your skin in a matter of seconds

“A thumbs up? That’s it?!" you blurted out.

“Can you turn around for us real quick?”

You awkwardly followed his order, showing off the back of your dress. You opted to wear a thong so no panty lines would show. You prayed they wouldn’t say anything about it. Your thighs and ass were on the larger side, so too much movement caused the dress to rup up a bit. Despite it's the size, it was like the only piece of “party” clothing you owned.

“I think-" Suguru attempted to break the silence before being interrupted by Satoru

“I love it!”

“As do I” Geto chimed

Making sure this validating moment turned sour quick, of course Satoru followed with

“It makes me want to fuck you”

He doesn’t even flinch as he lets these rancid words tumble from his mouth. Immediately becoming self-conscious by his crude response, you wrapped your arms around your chest and shifted to run back into the bathroom.

You wanted to look nice, but are you sure this is the attention you craved?

Before you get far, you hear Suguru sigh as he stands up.

“You don’t have to change y/n, ignore Satoru” he places his hands on your shoulders, giving them a light squeeze. He pulls your dress strap into place before giving you a light tap on the side of your face. “Come on, let’s do some shots then head of over”

By the time you got to the party, the shots already had you giggly, annoying, and clingy. Not drunk enough to not be as annoying as Satoru, though.

“Stop being so meaaaan, I’m sorry for earlier,” Gojo whines while pulling you by your waist to his side.

You had been giving him the silent treatment all night. You refuse to acknowledge his antics, so you pull away from him, making your way to the drinks.

You were quick to lose track of how much you drank. What was this? Your third cup? Fourth? Who knows?

All you know is right now, all you want to do is let loose and dance. You squeeze through the crowd and make your way to the dance floor. Moving with no shame, swaying and gyrating your hips in circular motions. It’s when you got lower with your gyrations and you felt a hand press onto the arch of your back.

You immediately stood up straight and got pulled back into the warm embrace of a towering man. You had to crane your neck and arch your back to look up at whose hands were on you. Luckily, you were greeted by none other than your crescent eyed, raven-haired friend Suguru.

“You really seem to be enjoying yourself!” the warmth of his breath tickling your ears.

“Mmmm, I am” your words slurred and your giggles were back. You felt him pull you even closer. He felt so welcoming, and so warm, his arms so strong. He nuzzled the crevice of your neck, letting his hair cascade over your collar bones and his breath tickles you. All the stimulations makes you squirm in his arm and your giggles return.

“Stop tickling me” you whine as he sways your body with his from side to side

“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to tickle you” as he squeezes you again and gives your neck a light kiss.

“Let me dance with you,” he whispers into your ear before landing another kiss on your neck.

Your chest rises as you let out a heavy exhale. The reaction of your body tells says to keep going. He peppers the kisses from your shoulder to your jaw. There are marks along your neckline after he sucks. He presses his pelvis against you, feeding into his desperation for any friction. You're barely in control of your dancing. It's him causing your hips to sway.

He’s rolling his hips into you from behind as his hands rub up and down your sides, stopping his hand at your ribs just under your breast. The room feels so much hotter with his hands on your body.

You could feel his erection grow as your dancing progressed. With one hand gripping your waist, he uses the other to tilt your chin. Bringing his face to yours for a deep kiss. His lips smell like alcohol, but taste so sweet.

You let out a small yelp when he harshly bites, then sucks your lower lip. Your responses are pushing to keep going further and further.

One of his hands finally leaves your waist and cups your breast. He massages your breast, squeezing harshly with his entire palm. H just rolling into you anymore, he’s now humping you shamelessly in the middle of a crowded dance floor.

With each thrust, his tent in his pants pushes your dress up further and further. A slight brush burn forming on the skin cheeks from the coarseness of his jeans. He hoicks you away from him and spins your body so that it could press your chest up against his. His hands creep up the back of your thighs and sneakily slide under the curve of your ass his thumbs rubs small circles as he lifts you up to kiss you more easily. You’re on the tips of your toes with your arms wrapped around his neck.

The two of you desperately and shamelessly making out despite the discomfort of the surrounding people. As soon as he felt your tongue enter his mouth, the strings that were preventing him from fucking you on that dance floor were breaking. He knows he’s getting too excited, but that doesn’t stop him from using both his hands to firmly grope, then spread your ass cheeks.

He slides his hand down further, hoping to feel the wetness between your legs. With his palm pressing into the lower part of your ass, his finger glides past your perineum, then slides between your folds.

Before you could fully enjoy the first circle his finger drew on your clit, someone threw you back into reality.

“Your asshole was showing, so I wanted to save whatever decency you had left”

It’s Nanami’s hand.

He looks at you with a face mixed with exhaustion and disdain. Geto releases his grip from your bottom and pulls his face back to make eye contact with Kento, who so rudely just cockblocked him. He cleans off his fingers before giving Nanami his faux apology.

“ Sorry Kento, we’ll be sure not to have too much fun next time”

Nanami rolled his eyes, then disappeared back into the crowd to presumably track down Gojo. His words rock in your mind and you felt an onset of shame and embarrassment.

You felt so ashamed of letting yourself get felt up in front of dozens of people, let alone many of them being your friends. You couldn’t allow yourself to think too much, so you found your way back to the jungle juice and downed some more.

“You alright? You’re gonna get yourself sick” You look into the annoyingly beautiful blue eyes of your lease favorite member of the three blind mice, Satoru Gojo.

A man who seems to be very where.

You let out a long sigh. “Yeah, I’m fine” your voice shakes a bit as you tell that lie

“I saw you and Suguru on the dance floor, seemed like the two of you were….getting a frisky”

You don’t even have to turn to look at Gojo to know he has the biggest shit-eating grin.

“Oh, my god, shut up Satoru”

You pivot to look at Satoru you notice that there’s two of him. Your legs aren’t working as hard anymore to keep you up, leaving you in a losing battle with maintaining your balance.

“You seem pretty fucked up, so let’s get you outta here” Gojo can see you’re way too drunk. At this rate, you’re going to end up somewhere drowning in your own vomit.

He wraps an arm around your shoulder and navigates you through the crowd. As he guided you through the crowd, he spotted a multiple attractive girls. He was originally planning to hand you off to Nanami but, so he felt so relieved when he spotted Suguru.

“Keep an eye on her, I can’t get my turn with her if she’s dead” Gojo pushes you it Geto's chest before running off to catch the attention of some innocent girls.

You fall into Suguru's warmth once again, wrapping your arms around his waist and nuzzling yourself between his pectorals. A big, childlike smile extends across your face.

“I always wanted to do this”

He can’t get over just how cute you can be. Smiling warmly, he wraps his arms around you.

“Come on y/n let’s get outta here”

……………………………………………………………………………………

Suguru was a strong man, but with both of you under the influence, getting you home was a bitch.

You were far worse off than him. Couldn’t walk straight, let alone stand up on your own. You put almost all of your weight onto him when you clung to his arm.

When he arrives at your apartment complex and realized the elevator was down, he felt so defeated. They warned it would take about 3 hours to fix.

There was no way he was going to walk up 9 flights of stairs this drunk.

Well...

Maybe, maybe if the girl he’s in love with has herself drunk out of her mind, grappling and feeling all over him. Then he would consider. He would do anything for you and maybe even to you.

Three of the nine flights of stairs had you both beat, but it wasn’t like the two of you could sleep outside on some stairs.

It was cold and dark in the stairwell. The cement was unforgiving. The worst best part was there was no surveillance. This had been an ongoing issue. The cameras at your complex worked half the time and there were none in this stairwell.

Geto noticed on the fifth flight of stairs that you were almost completely out of strength. After the first two flights, you went from walking to crawling on all fours like an infant.

He walked behind you as you crept your way up the stairs, unknowingly showcasing your dampened panties and whole ass. Your dress has hiked itself up to your waist and your breast spilled out of your top.

God, you already got him half hard in the club, but the version of you he is seeing right now has him about to cum at any moment.

You looked so slutty with your swollen lip, smudged lipstick, and streaking mascara.

When you tried to stand up again to walk upright, you slipped off the edge of a stair and fell backward into him.

“I’m so-so sorry sir” your slurred apology was adorable.

“It’s fine, just get back up, and let’s keep walking”

He held you against his chest. His arms were both wrapped around your midriff and your back pressed against his chest. He told himself he did this to prevent you from falling forward or backward.

This had nothing to do with the extra friction his dick was getting with every single step, every squirm of yours. From time to time, he’d press his erection into the back of you to see if you would give him any reaction. You never complained, only letting out a small whine.

Now that he knew he could get away with that, he wanted to go a step further. He slid one of his hands up your chest and groped your breast, lightly.

You maintained the same reaction. It honestly didn’t seem like you even knew anything was happening.

After some time, he realized you weren’t even trying to walk anymore. He heard a low snore from you before he realized passed out in his arms.

He shook you to see if you’d wake. The most you gave him was your lashes fluttering a bit. He called your name and got no response from you.

He decided he’d let you down east, slowly dropping your body down onto the landing of the eighth floor. Your upper body pressed against the landing whilst your lower body hung off the side lying on top of the stairs.

You were fast asleep. As if your face wasn’t pressed against cold concrete and your body was exposed to the harsh weather.

Kneeling beside your face, he brushed his hand against your cheek, admiring your precious resting features. He leans down and gives a gentle kiss on your temple.

Suguru scans the area once more to be sure there’s no camera around. He shuffles back a few stairs to look at your cunt at the best angle. He presses his face between your legs, taking in your scent and giving kitten licks to your pussy.

He grips your ass cheeks with both hands. Squeezing, spreading, and jiggling the cheeks independently. He pulls back from your body to take care of his painful erection. Pushing his pants just below his balls, letting his heavy dick slap against his stomach. Shifted to put his legs at your sides. Straddling your upper legs. He slid your underwear down. Admiring the string of your arousal connecting your pussy to the gusset.

To be sure you were still sleeping peacefully, he checked again. He looked back.

Going with his first senses, he pressed his tip into your entrance. His dick wouldn’t go in. He would try to push into your pussy just for it to slide up against your anus. He considered, but he’d rather save that for the next time you get shitfaced drunk. Your pretty asshole was seducing him, but he needed to feel the grip of your cunt first.

Hoping to stretch you out, he forced his finger inside of you. Pushing just his middle finger in and out of your hole. Taking his hand out briefly to taste you before shoving both his pointer and middle finger in this time. You let out a low whine and it went straight to his dick.

He didn’t know if this groan was from pleasure or pain, but he knew just your voice could get him off.

Reminiscing on the times you’d call, he’d have himself on mute pretending to listen to your complaints on life when really he was getting off, fantasizing about you using your mouth to suck him off instead of bitching about work. You didn't even care about how short his responses were. You would drone on and on. He would cum all over his abdomen because of your daily rants.

He waited a long to get a taste of your pussy. Pulling out his fingers and pressing his tip against your entrance again. He hesitated just as he watched the mushroom head spread your lips. He thought about the times you’d go out on dates with various guys.

Who else got to use your pussy?

Letting his frustrations boil over, he pulled his hips back and shoved in his full length in one stroke.

You didn’t wake up, but your brows furrowed, your nose scrunched, and a whimper escaped your lips.

You felt so fucking good to him. Your pussy felt like it was made for him as it sucked in his enormous cock.

Had you known how wet your unconscious body got for him, you would’ve been ashamed. Were you truly so desperate to be fucked that your pussy juices were dripping down your legs with basic teasing?

His thrust started slow yet deep. He didn’t want your knees or face to get scraped on the concrete, so he held himself back as long as he could.

He almost forgot that he was fucking you in a public space. He didn’t have time to drag it out. Before anyone could catch him violating a drunk girl's body, he needed to cum.

He l picked up the pace, gripping your waist more tightly with his left hand as he pulled your hips into him. His right hand crawled under your body to grip your right breast. His knuckle scraped along the concrete as he fucked into you from behind. Your body would slide forward with his thrust, but he’d use his grip on your right breast to pull you right back into him.

As he fucked into you, your pussy sang beautifully for him. He’d never forget every squelch it produced, and how the lips spread when he pushed himself in, seeing how your little pussy struggled to accommodate his size.

The brush of his hands gripping your breast and rubbing against the concrete was becoming too much. He snatched his hand back, wiping off some of the blood onto the back of your dress before pushing it up a bit more so he could get a better view of the fat on your back shaking when he fucked into you.

He spread your ass cheek with his right hand. Adoring the sight of your asshole. He shoved his thumb inside, sinking his thumb in when he pulled his hips away from you and pulling his thumb out when he pushed his dick deep inside of you.

You let out low moans after he began playing with your asshole.

He started thrusting faster as your body reacted to the new stimulation. Your pussy started hugging him tighter. The squelches got louder. Anyone who passed by in the halls would hear the slapping of your skin connecting. Part of him almost hoped someone would catch him. So they’d know that he owns your pussy.

Your pussy belonged to Suguru Geto

He forgot about the pain you were enduring from the rubbing of your skin and the concrete until felt your core grip him differently.

The breaking of your flesh on the concrete stairs woke you up. The burn of your lower body and the broken skin was slowly bringing you back to sobriety.

He was too close to stop now, but he couldn’t have you wake up and realize your so-called best friend was fucking you in an apartment stairwell. His thrust slowed when he saw your hands move

Out of panic, he pulled your dress up, locking in your arms and blocking your view. You could only see the darkness of your clothing. Nothing behind or in front of you. You did not know where you were and barely understood what was happening.

Your breast swayed as your body twisted and squirmed as you tried to escape the dress. The scars from your brush burn speckled with blood.

He grabbed the opening of the dress and pulled it back as he would your hair. One hand held the bottom part of your dress that had gathered at your shoulders down and the other pulled on the opening closest to your head. He started fucking so deeply that his cock repeatedly kissed your cervix. Taking full advantage of the dress's stretchiness. He yanked it back further and harder, causing your back and neck to arch painfully. Because of the amount of elasticity of the dress and the flexibility of your body, he could hold both ends of the dress in one hand.

Your pussy started squeezing him even tighter as your panic doubled. You couldn’t see, and with the strength he was using to pull back on your dress, you could barely breathe. Every inhale just sucked the cloth into your dry mouth and the band of the dress at the base of your neck was crushing your windpipe.

This is the best pussy he’s ever felt. He just knew you were the one for him. No other cunt gripped, pulsed, sucked, and was wet as yours.

His orgasm was coming sooner than he wanted it to as he heard your moans get louder. He felt your pussy pulse around him and suck him in. Your own body betrayed you when he changed the angle of his hips. Thrusting up into your g-spot. His abuse of the spongy sensitive area sent you over the edge. Your legs elongated and shook as your orgasm shot through you. You felt a burst of liquid shoot out of you as your vision no longer saw the darkness of your dress but the light of your orgasm.

The mix of his now wet abdomen with your moans, coughing and choking sent him over the edge. His last thrust was hard, sending your whole body forward, stealing the last of your wind, arching your back until he heard pops.

He plowed his dick deep into your cunt, emptying his balls. A guttural noise left his throat as he did his last thrust, fucking his seed deep into you.

He felt remorseful and felt even worse when he pushed your head forward, your covered face flat to the ground as he pulled his softening cock out and tucked himself with one hand back into his pants.

Kissing you on the back of your head as the best aftercare he could offer at the moment. Afterward, he knotted the excess cloth off the end of the dress, buying as much time as possible before you could see again.

He knew it would take your wasted ass a decent amount of time to get out, so his anxieties about getting caught subsided.

He took a few steps back to snap a shot of your used cum stuffed pussy. Considering if he should brag about his night to Gojo or keep this all to himself.

Suguru swiftly exited the building, running down two flights of stairs to the hallways of the apartment, just to exit through the now working elevator.

After all that transpired, your body was tired, and you passed back out. At sunrise, you awoke to the rays warming your torso and a scarred-up body.

[katiexpunk]

Diner Girl | Pairing Joel Miller X Fem!Reader

Summary:  You frequent your local dinner pretty often, not just because you love their pancakes with extra syrup, but because your best friend Sydney is a waitress there. You've heard her talk about her hot boss, Joel, every now and then but you've never had the pleasure of meeting him; that was until one morning, after getting unexpectedly laid off, you decided to drown your feels in syrup and love from your bestie. Joel offers you a job, and he shows you the ropes in more ways than one. Rating: 18+ Minors DNI Word count: ~7.3K Warnings: Pining, flirting, hard core tension, age gap (unspecified, reader is 30), 2000s style (needs a TW lol), 2000s texting, Joel is a little rough/bossy, Joel is actually readers boss, unprotected p in v (wrap it up, folks, or don't idk you're not gonna listen to me anyways), no creampie (a katiexpunk first, weird, I know), rough blow job, oral (m and female receiving) pet names, cum swallowing, praise kink, inappropriate use of syrup, one tit slap, Joel rips readers uniform off of her, readers former boss is an asshole, reader gets fired from her job, eating/references to food, did I already say flirting. Joel and reader fuck on a table in the diner. References to a health scares (for readers coworker). A bit of a dom/sub dynamic. Fluff. Porn with plot. Joel calls reader slut twice. Hilary Duff/A Cinderella Story gets mentioned, as does Jennifer Coolidge yelling for more salmon. Authors Note: The fact that I'm posting this doesn't feel real. This idea has been in my brain for so long, and I am happy and relieved to have it out in the world. Special thank you to @endlessthxxghts for holding my balls, brainstorming with me, and beta'ing this. And another thank you to @sydneyinacoma, my inspiration for readers bestie -- thank you for being my slutty, smutty, sister and for saving my ass with the first blowjob scene; I owe you one. ILY both. And to @hier--soir, Jessie, your beautiful way of storytelling inspires me and I often find myself HWJWTS (How Would Jessie Write This Smut). Masterlist | Read on AO3 | Notifications

November 2004 

The blaring sound of your alarm disrupts your slumber, and you jolt awake with a sense of urgency. Shit. You’re gonna be late. Again. 

You stumble through your routine. You splash cold water on your face in an attempt to remove the pillow marks left behind on your cheek and smear on a mixture of lotion and face oil the saleswoman swears will make you look like you’re in your 20s again. You didn’t have the heart to tell her that that was only a year ago. You can see why she would have thought you were older as you look at your reflection in the mirror and the dim light from your tiny 1950s bathroom illuminates the bags under your eyes. 

God, you’re tired. Truthfully, you’ve been tired for months now; no amount of caffeine can seem to make up for your lack of sleep due to the demands of finishing up your Master’s and your boss who keeps you late at work what seems like every night now. 

You hastily get dressed and attempt to gather your thoughts. As you step outside into the cool November morning air, you bristle at the wind cooling the still-damp hairs that frame your face. You unlock the door to your beater and slip the keys into the engine. A sinking feeling settles in the pit of your stomach when a soft click, click, click, click noise reverberates through the air; the stubborn engine refusing to turn over. 

Shit. Not again. No!

Frustration mounts with each futile attempt to bring the engine to life. You slam your palms against the cool leather of your steering wheel, a long sigh escapes your lungs and your forehead meets the top of the wheel in defeat. 

You reach into your purse for your phone and quickly compose a message to your boss, explaining the situation. "Car won't start. Trying to figure it out. Going to be late. Sorry." With a sigh, you hit send, hoping for a sympathetic response.

The minutes crawl by as you anxiously await a reply. The familiar chime of your phone signals a message, and you eagerly check it. However, the words that flash across the screen only deepen your frustration: "This is unacceptable. You’ve already been warned twice. Don’t bother coming in, and consider this your termination."

The shock of the message hits you like a ton of bricks. 

Sure, you had been late a few times in the past year, but you figured your staying late almost every night would make up for it. Maybe if he paid a little more you could afford to fix your piece of shit car and you wouldn’t be late in the first place. 

Your eyes sting with disbelief, and your hands tremble as you clutch the phone. Anger and desperation dance the waltz in your mind as you fight to hold back the tears threatening to spill over.

You sit in your silent car, the quiet sounds of morning make you feel frozen in time, unsure of what to do or where to go from here.

You look back down at your phone again and type out a quick message to your best friend Sydney.

“U working this am?” before you can even put the phone down, it’s chirping to life with her response. 

“Hi babes! I am. R u?” her response reads. 

You don’t want to give her the full details over text – too much to type out – and instead, you settle on a short response. 

“No. Long story. Coming in 2 c u.”  

“Kk! C u soon <3” 

Your day was quite possibly off to the shittiest start ever, but you know there are three remedies to that situation. 

Your bestie, pancakes, and syrup. 

Lots and lots of fucking syrup. 

++++

The early morning sunlight spills through the diner's large windows, casting a warm glow on the worn checkered tiles. The aroma of sizzling bacon and freshly brewed coffee envelops the air, creating a comforting ambiance that feels like a hug. The clinking of cutlery against plates and the low hum of conversations provide a soothing soundtrack to the chaos of your morning. 

Your usual booth is taken, so you settle for a seat at the bar. The stool is a little wobbly, but you have a nice view of the bustling kitchen and the seats next to you are empty. 

You watch Sydney pour a coffee refill for the older couple at the end of the bar before heading over to you. As she approaches, her infectious smile illuminates the space. Her apron, adorned with a patchwork of food stains and coffee spills, hints at the countless meals she’s already served this morning. 

"Morning, sunshine! You’re here early, you miss me?” she greets, grabbing a mug from the counter behind her before placing it in front of you and pouring you a steaming cup of coffee. 

You let out a little chuckle at her remark, knowing you just saw her last night.

You grab the mug in front of you with both hands, wishing you could shrink yourself and jump into the hot liquid like a hot tub; your bones cold from your long walk to the diner. Stupid car.

"No really, what’s up? Everything okay?” she asks, a hint of concern behind her words. 

“Not really. My car wouldn’t start this morning again, and John fired me after I told him I was gonna be late,” you respond, feeling the warmth of your frustration beginning to build in your chest once more. 

“What an asshole,” Sydney responds, “I’m sorry that happened, babe. He’s a real piece of work, you’re better off without him,” she continues. 

“I guess so. But I need a job, Syd. I don’t know what I’m gonna do now,” you respond, defeated. Your cheeks begin to heat and you think you might actually cry this time. You move the menu out in front of you on the counter to the side, and Sydney picks it up and removes the pen from behind her ear. 

“I could talk to Joel,” she offers, scribbling your order down on her notepad. You don’t have to tell her, she already knows what this situation calls for – pancakes with a lot of fucking syrup. 

“Joel?” you ask, leaning over the counter and looking both ways before you whisper to her, “as in the hot boss you won’t shut up about, Joel?” 

She lets out a little chuckle and you see a little twinkle of bashfulness in her eyes. 

“Yes, my ridiculously hot, mostly unreadable, but hot, boss Joel,” she replies. “Martha quit last week, something about wanting to spend more time with her grandkids, so we’re down a waitress.” 

You look at her face, pondering her offer as if you really have another option at the moment. 

“He’s here this morning, he’s in the back doing paperwork – I can go grab him and have him talk to you if ya want,” she says, nodding to the woman who just sat down at the bar, giving her a soft be right there hun. 

“Plus, it’ll be so fun to work together!” she says, her voice more energetic this time, preparing to go back into customer service mode. 

“I – yeah, alright, yes, I’ll talk to him,” you agree. 

She does a little jump and says “YAY!” and then gives you a big smile before pouncing off to greet her next customer. Where does she find the energy? 

As you wait for your emotional pancakes to arrive, you cradle your mug, the warmth seeping into your chilled skin, while you gaze through the window into the kitchen. Amidst the orchestrated dance of chefs and waitstaff, there stands a figure that looks like he doesn’t belong in the greasy kitchen of a diner – a towering presence, broad and resolute. His flannel shirt clings to the sculpted contours of his muscles and the determined furrow of his brow accentuates the intensity he’s directing to the clipboard in his hand. 

That’s him. That’s gotta be the ridiculously hot boss. That’s gotta be Joel, right? You feel a little tickle in your belly at the thought. 

You try not to stare too much, not wanting to be obvious, but like passing a car wreck on the freeway, you can’t seem to look away. You smile at the way he bites the cap of the pen in his mouth, only dropping it on occasion to make little notes or checkmarks. As you look at him doing his work, his eyes flutter up and meet yours. And in that brief moment, you feel a connection. The corners of his lips curl into a friendly smile as he stares back at you briefly, before once again dropping his gaze to the papers in front of him. Sydney did say he was unreadable; now you see why. 

Before you can process further, Sydney returns with your stack of pancakes and places them in front of you. “Thanks, can I have some syr–,” but before you can continue, she’s placing the container of the sweet liquid in front of you with a wink.

As you dive into your comfort food, savoring each bite, the door to the kitchen swings open, and Joel emerges. Tall and confident, he approaches your seat, a hint of curiosity in his eyes. Of course, he would come to talk to you now, right as you have a giant bite of pancake shoved into your mouth like an animal. The cherry on top of your already shit day.

"Sydney's been raving about you," he admits, a friendly smirk on his face. "Say’s you’re lookin’ for some work,” his voice is low and even, and his eyes briefly scan over the patrons before coming back to land on your face. For as hot as Sydney has been describing him as over the past few months, she forgot to mention how fucking sexy he sounds. 

You stare back at him, gulping down the remaining pancake in your mouth. 

Joel's eyes are trained on your face. What he really wanted to say was Sydney’s been raving about you, but she didn’t tell me how pretty you are. That was all the more apparent to him now that he sees you up close. 

“We’re down a waitress, and we could use someone with your taste in breakfast and impeccable timing, if you’re interested?” he says, watching you fidget with the napkin in your lap. 

“I – yes, yes I am very interested. I’ve never been a waitress, but I have great attention to detail and I’m sure I could pick it up quickly with the right guidance,” you say, straightening your posture, attempting to look more composed than he has you feeling right now. 

“Well great, we’ll have you trained up in no time,” he says, his gaze lingers on your features for a beat longer than expected before he swivels on his heels, heading back to the kitchen. However, after a few steps, he abruptly pauses, pivoting back around with a thoughtful expression, as if there’s more he wants to share.  

“Oops, my bad, sweetheart. Almost forgot my manners. I’m Joel, by the way. This is my diner,” he says, gesturing with one hand as if to show the space to you like you were seeing it for the first time, before offering his large hand toward you. You meet it with your own, giving him a firm shake while sharing your name. 

"Can you start tomorrow?" he asks, and you respond with a satisfied "mhmm," sealing the deal with a wink from Joel. "Great – be here around seven in the morning then, and we’ll get cha all trained up" he adds with a grin, one that teeters the line between professional and flirtatious. 

And just like that, in the midst of your syrup-drenched, emotionally charged morning you let out your first real smile of the day. 

So there were four remedies to your situation. 

Your bestie, pancakes, syrup, and Joel. 

You finish your remaining pancake, letting your mind wander off, secretly hoping Joel will be showing you the ropes in more ways than one.  

++++

The next morning, you get to the diner just as the sun is starting to rise, and you can't help but draw a parallel to Hilary Duff in A Cinderella Story, except now you’re the Diner Girl. 

While you may not be gliding around on gaudy rollerskates, and Jennifer Coolidge isn't screaming at you “MORE SALMON! We need more Salmon!” there's an undeniable charm to the whole scenario that makes you chuckle. The uniform Sydney handed you on your way out may not be the stuff of fairytale gowns, but the fabric that clings to your skin is a tangible reminder that you're stepping into a different narrative today, a narrative where you’re employed and your boss isn’t a total jerk. 

As you step into the diner, the familiar calms your nerves a bit. Joel, seemingly in tune with your arrival, glances up from behind the counter and shoots you a playful wink. Does he wink at all his employees? 

"Morning, sunshine! Ready for your grand debut?" he teases, flashing a bright smile coupled with an adorable set of dimples. You manage a shy smile in response, feeling nervous once again, but it has nothing to do with learning your new job and all to do with the beautiful man in front of you that you’ll be close to the entire day. 

Joel wastes no time guiding you through the diner's rhythm. With each task, he effortlessly blends instructions with charming banter, making the learning process feel less like work and more like a shared secret between the two of you.

"Here's where the magic happens," he says, gesturing to the row of gleaming coffee machines. "And trust me, making a perfect cup is an art; takes a lot of love."

“Aren’t these like super-fast automatic coffee brewers? You just load the beans and water and hit start?” 

"Alright, smartass," he retorts, a playful glint in his eyes, "Yeah, they are, but you gotta press that button with love, baby. That's what makes it good." 

Your laughter harmonizes with his, and you catch the infectious mirth in his expression – one hand on his hip, the other casually resting on the counter. Your eyes trace the veins on his forearms, distinctly visible beneath the rolled-up sleeves, and you can't help but admire the effortless confidence he exudes. 

“Do it with love. I understand,” you respond. 

“Good girl,” he responds. “Alright, next up – silverware rollin’, ya ready?” he asks.

"As ready as I'll ever be," you reply, a playful smile dancing on your lips, as you follow him to the back of the kitchen to grab a tray of freshly washed flatware. Returning to the dining room, he leads you to an empty booth tucked away from the prying eyes of coworkers, giving you the first taste of true solitude with him all morning.

"Now, watch and learn," he says, demonstrating a silverware roll that rivals any seasoned server. "The key is in the wrist action. It's all about finesse."

You mimic his movements, chuckling when your first attempt doesn't quite match his polished technique. He leans in a little closer, his warmth and encouragement almost palpable.

"See, you've got the basics down. But let me show you a little trick," he says, guiding your hand with his own. The close proximity sends a delicious shiver down your spine, and you can't help but revel in the extra attention to detail in his guidance. As he imparts his expertise, the thought of him taking charge and instructing you in other ways goes straight to your core. 

“You’re a natural,” Joel says, responding to your growing stack of rolled silverware. 

"You like taking orders?" he inquires, his gaze intense as he places the second-to-last rolled set in the pile you both created, and you complete your own. The implication behind his words hits you, and your eyes widen with surprise.

"Do I what?" you ask, a hint of uncertainty in your voice, unsure if your mind has ventured too far into the realm of innuendo to fully grasp his meaning.

"Taking orders – you seem like you'd be good at it," he says, pausing deliberately, well aware that he's causing a stir within you.

"You know, from customers?" he adds with a smirk, putting you out of your misery. 

“Oh. Oh – uh, well, I’m not sure, I’ve never tried it,” you respond. 

“First time for everything, darlin’. We can practice. I’ll be the customer, and you can take my order.” 

He flashes you a charming smile, making it hard to resist. "Alright," you agree with a shy grin, readying your notepad. You start “Good morning, Sir! Can I get you starte–” 

"Now, sweetheart, we've gotta do this right – stand up now, take my order properly," he interrupts, a playful tone in his voice. You shoot him a teasing side-eye, and he smirks, attempting to hide it by bringing his hand to his beard.

You rise and straighten your apron, and turn to face him at the table. 

“Good morning, Sir –” you begin again, “what can I get started for you?” 

"I'll have the classic bacon and eggs, toast on the side, and a steaming cup of your finest brew. Oh, and a side of your million-dollar smile, please."

You laugh at the last part, realizing this is exactly the kind of practice you need. "Got it, one bacon and eggs, toast, coffee, and a million-dollar smile," you repeat, jotting it down.

Joel nods approvingly. "You're a quick learner. Now, let's spice it up a bit. What if I want my eggs sunny-side-up, the toast lightly buttered, and the coffee extra strong?"

You take a moment to absorb the details, determined not to miss anything. "Sunny-side-up eggs, lightly buttered toast, and extra strong coffee," you recite confidently.

Joel grins. "Not bad, darlin’ – you’re a good listener.” 

“Maybe you’re just a good teacher,” you playfully retort. 

You don’t see it, but Joel palms himself beneath the denim of his jeans, attempting to adjust from the growing lack of space in them. 

As the morning rolls into the afternoon, you finish out the rest of your shift at the diner and make the walk back home.

As you lay in bed, you try to rationalize all of your flirting with Joel. 

He’s just nice. A Southern gentleman. He’s probably like this with all of his employees.

Unbeknownst to you, Joel lies in his own bed, also attempting to rationalize all of his flirting with you. He knows it’s wrong, but that doesn’t stop him from taking his heavy cock in hand to the thought of you that night. 

++++

After nearly a month of seamlessly navigating the diner routine, you've become a fixture in the cozy ambiance. The playful banter between you and Joel has escalated to shameless flirting – a subtle touch from a passed laminated menu, an intentionally clumsy moment with the cash register as an excuse to get a little closer, and the unmistakable sensation of his gaze lingering on you as you lean over to wipe down the booths. 

You even find yourself yelling out “Corner!” less than you should, hoping it might lead you to accidentally bump into him. 

It's not exactly backbreaking labor, though it can take a toll on you physically. But you find yourself enjoying it—the thrill of pushing through a lengthy shift, the rush that accompanies swift movements and juggling various tasks during the bustling hours, the familiar faces of regulars who now greet you by name, and the bonus of spending extra time with Sydney. 

For now, it's fulfilling enough. However, the more moments you share with Joel, the more it dawns on you that, at least when it comes to him, "enough" might never quite be sufficient.

++++

You normally work M-F, during the morning shift, and you’re grateful for the extra time on the weekends. You’re starting to feel like you might not actually need that facial oil now that you’re getting adequate rest. Take that, Mary Kay. 

One Saturday night, as you’re sitting on your couch watching Kill Bill, your phone buzzes with an unfamiliar number, and curiosity pulls you in. Joel’s husky voice on the line tells you who it is, but he introduces himself anyway.

“Hey, darlin’ – it’s Joel. Listen, uh, I know it’s your day off but I was wondering if you might be able to come in to work tonight?” he asks. 

Without pausing to let you respond, he lays it on thick, making a persuasive attempt to nudge you into saying yes, "The other servers are all tied up, and Suzanne had to call out, something about Mike not feeling right tonight, tight chest and all, so I told her to make sure he gets checked out."

"Oh no, that's awful. Yes, yes, of course, Joel. I'll be there in 15," you reply, hearing a sigh of relief on the other end.

"See you soon," he says.

"Oh? You're coming in, too?" you ask, trying not to sound overly excited.

"Well, someone's gotta make the food, right?" A little chuckle carries through the phone.

You remember it now; he had shared with you during that first day that working in the kitchen at night was one of the reasons he decided to take over owning the diner, his decision in part was fueled by his love of cooking. “Helps me remember why I started doing this in the first place," he had said. You were listening, but you were also distracted by him fidgeting with his coffee cup, watching him make small circles around the rim of it. 

++++

As the night descends, the diner transforms. The hustle of the day gives way to an intimate, dimly lit ambiance. Joel, donned in his chef's coat, greets you with a sly grin, "Well, look who's gracing the night shift. It's just you and me tonight, darlin'."

"Think we can handle it?" you respond, not really talking about the dinner rush, and he knows it. 

The air crackles with sexual tension as you and Joel maneuver through the shift. The need between you two is palpable; a desire only one thing could satiate, a hunger no amount of breakfast food could resolve.

The hours tick by, and the tile inside is illuminated by the soft glow of the neon sign outside. With the last order served, you both lean against the counter, a comfortable silence enveloping you. 

Joel breaks it with a casual remark, "Hungry?" 

"Starving,” you respond a playful edge to your voice, biting your lip. Joel’s eyes go dark as he stares at your plump flesh. 

You are hungry, but not for food.

++++

 Joel guides you to the prep station for a crash course on chicken and waffles. 

“Now, I know you’re a pancake kinda girl, but trust me darlin’ when I say these chicken and waffles will make you fall in love,” he says. Yeah, they just might. 

Joel, sleeves rolled up and a chef's jacket in hand, hands it over with a grin that hints at more than just a cooking lesson. The oversized jacket drapes over you as he gives a quick once-over. He chuckles, “you look cute like this, sweetheart,” he says before he heads to the fridge for supplies.

Returning with a bunch of ingredients, he starts showing you the ropes of making waffle batter. "You like to cook?” he asks, pouring flour into a bowl. His hands move with ease, adding baking powder, a pinch of salt, and a dash of sugar. You crack the eggs into the mix, and he throws in some vanilla extract, giving the batter a fragrant twist.

“I mean, I don’t not like to cook, but I can’t say I’m very good at it. I think I’m better with instruction,” you answer. You notice his gaze deepen, going darker almost, as he hands you a whisk. “Mix it up then. Give it your all,” he says, and you start blending. 

As you stir the batter, you sense Joel subtly adjusting his position until he's right behind you. He towers over you from behind. His arms gently encircle your body, and his backside hovers just an inch away from yours. He’s so close you can feel the warmth radiating from his body. "The secret," he murmurs in a low, almost whispered tone near your ear, "is to whisk it just enough, not too much. The air bubbles make it fluffy." His voice carries a blend of guidance and desire. 

His hand moves up to sweep your hair away from your neck, causing your mixing to slow as his fingertips graze the sensitive skin. Goosebumps erupt across your entire body, and he presses his lips to the soft skin behind your ear. 

“Joel,” you whimper, tilting your head to the side, giving him more access to your neck. 

“Keep mixin’ darlin,” he commands. You try, but the distraction of him on you makes you forget the simple action altogether. 

You close the gap between your bodies and take a small step back so your backside is firmly pressed against him. You let out a gasp as you feel the thick shape of him on your ass. He continues to nip at your neck, grazing his teeth along the sensitive skin there. You grab the counter in a poor attempt to steady yourself, and press into him harder, and he responds pinning your hips to the counter until his growing cock is all the more noticeable. 

“Fuck, darlin’,” he lets out a little hiss. “Can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to get you alone like this – haven’t been able to get it out of my head.” A soft moan escapes you, and in the blink of an eye, his hands find your hips. Before you can react, he swiftly turns you around to face him.

“You like being told what to do, baby? I’ll tell you what to do, but I’m not gonna tell you twice,” Joel says as his large palm comes up to hold the column of your throat, his thumb just under your jaw, tilting you up to face him. 

“So if I tell you to get on your knees, you’re gonna do it,” he says, voice low. “If I tell you to look at me, you’re gonna do it,” he continues, “and if I tell you to swallow, you’re gonna do it like the perfect little slut I know you are,” he says, dipping his face lower to you. You wonder if he can feel your pulse quickening under his hand, caught in a lusty daze fueled by hot breath and the sight of his blown pupils. 

“Tell me you understand,” he commands, not really questioning. 

“Yes - yeah, I understand,” you say, tightening your grip on his forearm, feeling the strength of his muscles still grasping you, pulling you closer to him. 

You think for a moment he might kiss you, his lips barely an inch from yours, but he doesn’t. 

“Good girl,” he praises, “since I know you’re so good at practicing, let’s do it again,” he suggests, releasing his grip on you. 

“Get on your fucking knees, baby.” 

You fall to your knees and feel the hard, cold tile against your bare calves. You position yourself beneath him and fold your hands in your lap, waiting for him to give you further instructions. He reaches down and brings his pointer finger down to lift your chin up to face him. He runs his thumb over your lips. 

“So pretty like this, baby.” He thinks you're pretty. 

As he releases you, you take that as permission and reach out to undo the buckle of his belt. You fumble with the cool metal momentarily, until it’s completely unbuckled before you begin to work with the zipper on his pants. You tug both his pants and his underwear down just below his hips, and his thick length springs to attention. 

Your breath hitches in your throat at the size of him. He’s big. His cock is already at full attention, red and weeping. Your mouth waters at the sight of it.  You look up at him, silently asking for permission to touch him, and he nods. “All yours’” he says, and your hand comes to wrap around the base of him. The thought of all of him being yours stirs something low in your belly. 

Before you can put him in your mouth, he grabs your wrist to pull you back up to your feet. 

“Too many clothes, sweetheart. Need to see those fuckin’ tits,” he growls, tearing your uniform off, almost bare save for your bra. You’re gonna need a new one. His eyes are glued to your chest, admiring the red bra you’ve been hiding under your uniform.

“As much as I like the way this looks on, I’d like it a helluva lot better off,” he says while hastily unclasping your bra, letting it fall to the kitchen floor. Your nipples harden in the cool air, entrancing Joel. “Gorgeous fuckin’ tits,” swatting your left one, in awe of the way it bounced on impact. 

“Back on your knees,” ordering you once again. You obey without hesitation, almost automatically. 

You stroke along his length, feeling the silky warmth of his skin, the heat, and the thick veins that add texture to each pass of your palm. You pause at the top of him and let out a little squeeze, until a small bead of precum forms at the tip. You lap it up, and Joel lets out a groan and his hands fall to grab the back of your neck. 

“Keep that mouth wide open for me, baby.” I’ll do anything you want as long as you call me baby, you reply in your head. 

You part your lips and tease your tongue around and then start sucking on the tip, slowly taking more in until you’re sucking on the full head of his cock and your tongue is whirling around it. Joel’s grip on the back of your neck tightens, and he gently cants his hips forward, urging you to take more of him.

You’re barely halfway down and the back of his cock is already on your throat. You start bobbing your head up and down, and Joel mutters a little curse under his breath and bites down on his lip. 

“Such a good girl f’me, takin’ this cock down your sweet little throat,” you moan around him, the sound reverberating against him, “yeah, this what you wanted, hmm? Needed your throat fucked like a slut?” 

Your thighs clench together, a syrupy mess of your own slick smears on your skin, and his filthy words add to the roaring ache in your cunt. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Joel as you notice him stiffen just a little more. How is that even possible?

You pick up your pace, pushing yourself to take more of him. He thrusts shallow but firmly, meeting your movements along his shaft. 

“Tha’s it baby, just like that…” his groans are lecherous, coupled with the profane sounds of you gagging on his cock. You’d listen to that on a loop if you could. 

He tightens his grip on your hair and pulls you off him. There will be plenty of opportunities for him to fill your mouth up, but right now, he has other priorities. He does take an extra moment to watch you wipe the saliva and precum from your mouth with the back of your hand. It’s a vulgar sight and he commits it to memory. 

He helps you to your feet, and your knees on fire from the harshness of the floor. You’ll pay for it later, but for now, the soreness is a small price to pay for the exhilaration you’re experiencing with your super hot, hung boss. 

Without warning, he scoops you up in his brawny arms and carries you off to the closest booth adjacent to the kitchen. With your back flat on the table, you feel the cool laminate tabletop on your skin and it adds a stark contrast to the warmth of Joel’s chest pressed against yours moments ago. 

Your upper back is on the small table, leaving just enough room for your hips to slightly dangle off the edge, Joel’s hips between your legs. Your head ghosts the condiment bottles at the edge and he holds you in place there, teasing you. 

He pauses to admire the way you look up at him, your chest rising and falling rapidly, your perky tits slightly falling to the side, a little sheen of sweat on your chest. He pauses to admire the way you still look flustered, but composed, knowing he’s going to fuck every ounce of that right out of you. 

Joel wants to untangle you like a knotted ball of yarn, he wants to claim ownership of every inch of your body, and he doesn’t want to wait any longer. 

He drops to his own knees this time, hooking his thumbs into your underwear to pull them down with him.. His face immediately finds your cunt, and he wastes no time before he lays a trail of soft kisses over your wet and waiting folds. He starts slow, a kiss here, a lap there, and eventually begins to pick up his pace. 

He sinks a thick middle finger into you, and your hips cant up at the welcomed intrusion and your back arches, unable to stay on the table. You feel his hot breath on your cunt, and let out a small mmm at the way he presses his forearm across your lower half to lower you back down to the table, to keep you still. 

His mouth returns to your clit to work you, and he adds another finger, twisting and working them both into you with precision. You’re so fucking close – your slow crawl to the cliff of your orgasm turns into a full-on sprint.

You’re so close, and he can tell by the way your body tenses under him. 

“Please,” you moan. “Please – ugh, neeeeed to come, please let me come,” you beg. 

“Just a little longer, baby. You can come when I say you can.” Joel says, voice slightly muffed against your wet skin.

He presses his lips against your clit, but doesn’t give you enough tongue to get you where you need to go. You’re already so swollen, sensitive – you know all you’ll need is a little suck and you’ll be gone. 

You don’t know how much longer you can stave off your pleasure, but you want to be good for him, to listen, to obey. 

He knows you want to come, that’s obvious, and god does he want to know what you look like when you do, to feel it, to be the reason; but still, he continues to tease and let it build. Your face twists, your jaw goes slack, and your eyes close and it all but screams I’m close, make me come, make me come.

He sucks your clit into his mouth and he grazes it with the top of his tongue and closes around you. You flutter your eyes closed. You warn him that you’re close, “Joel, fuck, please let me come. Please, please, please,” you rasp out your pleas with a symphony of moans. 

Satisfied with your pleading, he decides to take mercy on you. He looks up at you through his thick lashes, drinking in the way he has you melting, the way he has you begging. 

“You can come, baby. Go ahead, want you to soak my face,” he says, voice hoarse but still smooth like velvet.

You obey and feel the taste of your sweet release rush through you like a warm summer breeze on a hot day. Your vision goes white, and your whole body tenses with pleasure as he works you through it. 

“Fuck, so pretty with you come f’me, baby. Being such a good girl, listening to my every command,” he says and lifts his head. His dilated pupils tell you he’s high on it; on you. 

Your slick shines on his beard, illuminated by the atmospheric glow of the streetlights peering into the dark diner. He looks at you, breath slightly ragged, and brings his fingers to his lips to smear the remaining slick from his face onto them, and he pops his finger in his mouth like he’s savoring the last bite of the best meal he’s ever had.

“Taste so fuckin’ delicious, baby. Must be from all that syrup you eat.” 

And shit, it’s filthy. He looks indecent in the most delectable of ways. 

“Gonna fuck you now,” he says, grabbing his thick cock in hand and lining the head of it up against your wet and waiting hole, pausing there before pressing in. You let out a little whine. 

‘Shh, baby,” he coos, “‘m gonna give you what you need, don’t worry,” he says. Both of his hands come to your hips, surely leaving little bruises under his strong grip. Your slick makes it easy for him to bury himself in you to the hilt, even with the size of him. Your greedy cunt taking every inch of him like it’s your fucking job, like it was made for him. 

He pauses for a moment to give you a second to adjust; you feel so full, you swear you feel him in your lungs. 

He begins a relentless pace, thrusting his cock deep inside of you, the obscene sounds of the clapping noises, a wet and wanton song made as a result of your wetness keys you up. 

“Fuck, yes, Joel – YES,” you cry. 

“Yeah? Say thank you to me, baby. Say thank you for giving you this cock, for fucking you dumb,” he commands. 

Thank you – thrust – tha - thrust – thank you, fuck, thrust. 

He fucks into you so hard that your head hits the condiments, knocking them over. The ketchup bottle falls, the sugar packets scatter, and the syrup tips over. A slight ooze of the viscous substance starts to pool on the table and get into your hair, but you don’t care, this feels too good to care. 

Just as you’re about to come, Joel notices the pool of auburn liquid running over the table and onto the red booth below. 

“Tsk, tsk, baby – makin’ a mess – creaming on my cock, and spilling syrup on the floor,” he says, continuing his pace. You feel your walls clench around him. Just as quickly as he entered, he retreats, and you whine at the loss. “Get up,” he says. 

You do as he says and rise onto your legs. They’re shakey like Jell-O. You watch as he reaches over the table and grabs the sticky glass bottle from the table. 

“On your knees again,” he asks of you for the third time tonight. You pause, your body sore and your knees aching. “You hear me, baby? I said get on your knees.” 

You do as he says, and kneel before him, once again worshiping at the altar of the man above you. 

You look up at him with bated breath and watch him use his free hand to rip off his shirt and throw it onto the booth beside him. 

“Come closer,” he says, “and open,” you kneel before him with your mouth open, your inviting tongue waiting to be used. He uses his hand to grab the base of his heavy cock, and he taps it on your widespread tongue a few times before holding the syrup bottle high in the air, centering it above his cock and your open mouth. 

You watch with wide eyes as he tips the bottle over just a smidge, and a long, thin, sticky stream of syrup begins to rain down onto his hardness, falling off the sides of it, down to the floor, and all over your chin. 

“Clean me up, baby,” he says, and your lips close around him. You begin to suck and lick every inch of him, savoring the golden liquid that creates a tantalizing mix of sweetness from the sugar and salt from his pre-cum. You hum as you work him, savoring every bit, and eventually, the skin on his cock is syrup free and you take him at a more consistent pace. You hear Joel groan, and it encourages you to take him deeper, harder, faster. 

You look up at him through wet lashes, tears forming in the corners of them, as he holds your now sticky hair into a makeshift ponytail and uses your mouth. 

“Such a good hole for me,” he says, “so fucking good, baby, you’re so perfect.” 

You let him chase his high, and open wider when you see his jaw tighten and his tight core tense, the grip on your hair pulling tighter. 

“You’re gonna swallow,” he says. “All of it,” he commands, and his jaw goes slack and he releases a rush of warm cum down your throat. It tastes musky, but a little drop of syrup you missed during your cleaning job makes it sweeter. 

“Fuck, darlin’,” he says, panting heavily, holding you on his cock as he throbs out the final pumps of his release. 

He lets go of your hair and you pop off of him and use your fingers to clean off the rest of the syrup from your chin and smile up at him. God, you must look like a wreck. 

He extends out his large palm in a gesture to help you off the floor. As you rise to stand, his fingers find the underside of your jaw and he tilts you up to look at him. 

He looks at you, the darkness behind his eyes has been replaced with someone else; pride. 

“You really are a good listener, baby.” He says.  He gazes down at you, his thumb delicately tracing the contour of your jaw. This moment feels significant.

Leaning in, he tenderly places his lips on yours. The sensation takes your breath away, and as he intensifies the kiss, you willingly welcome the exploration of his tongue, relishing the warmth and savoring his taste. Tonight, you've experienced every other aspect of him, but in this moment time seems to stretch as your lips remain locked.

As he breaks the kiss, a contented smile graces your face, and you feel as if you could float away.

“Now really, let’s eat some food,” he says, letting a low chuckle escape from his lips, “I still owe you some chicken and waffles.” 

“And you owe me a new uniform,” you say, grabbing his hand to follow him to the kitchen, totally naked. 

Joel actually teaches you how to make the meal this time. He offers you another chef's coat to cover your body, but he doesn’t let you keep it on for long. As your breakfast-dinner cooks, he hoists you up on the counter and eats you again. He makes you orgasm more times in one night than you think you ever have with any of your previous partners. 

You were right in your initial thinking. Enough will never be enough when it comes to Joel.

You’ll always want more.

More of this, and more of him. 

And the one thing that’s the most certain is that you’ll most definitely want more fucking syrup. 

Good thing you work at a diner.

END

Bonus Drabble Coming Soon: How will Sydney react when you tell her about your steamy night with Joel?

Tagging moots and those who showed interest in the preview: @nosesitter @bastardmandennis @untamedheart81 @lavema @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @lovebandrry @dugiioh @frodo-jojo @ghostwritesthings @planet-marz1 @josephquinnswhore @cinnamon-gurlll @dragonfire @drunk-and-capable @peachmy @survivingandenduring @darkheartgatita @hotgirlbedtimescenarios @dins-riduur-anthe

[shuarush]

foolproof stupidity

» pairing: mingyu x fem!reader

» word count:  54,442

» warnings: alcohol, drinking, a bit of angst i guess, smut, a bit of an existential crisis tw for the young adults like me, cursing.

» genres: romance, fluff, eventual smut, vacation, adulthood, developing friendships, awkward flirting, secrecy, stupid ass people being emotionally unavailable and constipated.

☆✎ synopsis:  after giving your blood, sweat and tears to your company, you found yourself lost in whoever you are and were, and in the middle of an uncomfortable event you decided to throw caution out the window and go out of your comfort zone. meeting mingyu wasn’t the reason for it, but it was a good consequence. the feelings that emerged in your heart, on the other hand, were something you simply couldn’t handle at the moment, and you might just let your traumas get the best of you and push away the thing you fear the most: love.

☆✎ a/n: hello babydeul, 

this time around i came with a mingyu x reader and i wanted to make it as light and youthful as i could, since that's how i see mingyu: a very kind-hearted, youthful and sincere person. i’m really thankful to my friends julia and mari, who helped me out at the beginning of it, as well as every single one of the people who followed me in the making of this fanfic while i was posting it on ao3.

i hope you can enjoy this one as much as you did with play again, and don’t be shy to interact with me in any way or form. thank you for giving foolproof stupidity a chance ♡  

☆✎ some final notes:

⇢ i’ll mark the chapter with smut so you can skip it if you want or need (minors please dni with those);

⇢ again this is a first, but this time it is my first smut, i hope it is a good reading, i did my best to make it to my liking;

⇢ english is not my first language, so i apologize for any mistakes i might’ve made along the way;

⇢ i hope you enjoy it, and if you decided to read it thank you sm :)

chapter one - the girl i used to know

The unrequited attention you and Rae were getting from every single male eye sitting on that table was scrutinizing. Even reaching out for a beer would make at least one of them look at you like you were some weird attraction on a road circus. 

“Seriously, Seungkwan, you said you were hanging out with some friends.” Rae hissed between her teeth, giving the dirtiest look she could possibly come up with for her soon-to-be-ex-best-friend. Since you didn’t even want to be there in the first place, you ignored all the side-eyes from the unknown men and kept slowly drinking the beer that you had ordered as soon as you got there. 

“I am hanging out with some friends.” Seungkwan muttered unconvincingly and you saw Rae’s eyes roll dramatically. They always ended up bickering, and you’d only intervene when they were about to rip each other’s face off, but that was far from happening that day, so you just enjoyed the few hours Rae had convinced you to give yourself while she regretted her own decision.

“This is a fucking bachelor party, Seungkwan. Boys only.” she grunted and it was his time to roll his eyes. Seungkwan was wrong in that situation, but for him to admit that it would take about another three hours of complaining and maybe two beers, so you kept watching to see what excuse he’d give this time. 

You weren’t worried at all. In your line of work death threats were so common that a bunch of men looking at you like you were unwelcome almost felt recomforting. At least there’s no paperwork to dig in on the table, you thought to yourself, feeling the small paper cut you had gotten a few hours prior burn just by thinking about looking through files.

“Yes, but they started talking about a show I haven’t watched yet and I got bored…” He was soon to confess and you held Rae’s hand as it was starting to move towards Seungkwan’s chest. She was fast, but you were faster. You finally decided it was time for you to meddle, since you wouldn’t be there much longer anyway and it was best if you three could just spend some time together: “Ok, there’s no point in fighting over this, let’s just drink two beers and go home, shall we?” You proposed and you felt a dirty look being directed towards you. 

Raena was always like that, sensitive - and in denial about that anytime you’d bring it up -, but the good thing about it was that it never actually lasted. She would nag for a few minutes and then just come to the resolution that it is what it is, and then would simply get hammered. It wasn’t always good for you since it was always your job to carry her ass home, but it was definitely better than her being moody the entire night. Besides, drunk Rae could be pretty fun most of the time.

“You always take his side. I want a fucking tequila.” she blurted, raising her hand and ordering two shots of that devilish shit-enabeler. You took the small truce opportunity to look around the table. Seungkwan’s oldest friends were there, many that you only knew by name. You tried, to the best of your knowledge and abilities, giving names to the faces that surrounded you, but that task was easier said than done. 

Firstly, you saw Jay - the husband-to-be - fervently denying the presence of strippers, which was being strongly suggested by the shortest one of them. Taking by his bright red hair and his lack of discretion, that could only be Rugel. You continued your analysis, circling the table and laying your eyes on someone who you actually knew. Chan was sipping some whiskey while trying to not frown at every single one of Rugel’s proposals, and beside him there was someone who - by the way he looked - could only be Vernon.

Seungkwan would continuously talk about Vernon to you and Rae at any given opportunity, but his allegedly best friend was never free to hang out with us so we could properly meet. You and Raena had the conspiracy theory that, in fact, Seungkwan was madly in love with Vernon, but their situationship got to a point where it was so comfortable neither of them would leave their comfort zone, and Seungkwan knew you - specifically the lesbian Patti Stanger who was sipping tequila as if it was meant to be drank that way - well enough to know that someone amongst the two would notice his crush and do something about it, consequently ruining Seungkwan’s chances and friendship. 

After scanning a little bit more, you saw another familiar face amidst many unknown ones. Seokmin was one of Seungkwan’s oldest friends, and you’ve met him many times before, but you never got to actually saying more than a few words. The bright-smiled man always seemed to be walking on eggshells when he spoke to you, and you were never interested enough in making friends to try to engage in any conversation whatsoever. He was laughing widely about something a man, who was sitting beside him and that you definitely didn’t know, said. 

His honey skin was glowing almost as much as the small fangs he’d show while smiling. He had broad shoulders and a wide torso, and you found yourself wondering what would be under that black polo shirt he was wearing. His glossy brown hair was about at ear length, and he would constantly flick it back while talking avidly. You didn’t know his name, but you knew you wanted to. 

“... Are you deaf?” Seungkwan’s heavy hand met your shoulder as he howled at you, taking your attention from the other side of the table. You were bearing a confused expression, and he looked at you completely outraged, but just repeated the question he had just asked: “You’re going on the trip, right?” 

You bit your lower lip, knowing damn well that the answer you had wasn’t even close to the one your friend wanted. He knew what your answer was by that small gesture, and quickly started to get distressed. You could see by the way his nostrils widened and he opened a very unfriendly smile.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Scoffing that phrase was easier than you thought, especially because you decided that your beer bottle was way more interesting to look at than any other place at that moment - especially your best friend’s sulky face. You heard the loud sigh Seungkwan let out before turning to you. “It’s too close and I didn’t buy the plane ticket… And I have to work.” You tried explaining yourself even before he said anything. 

“Well, maybe you need a bad idea. You haven’t gone on a vacation in three years. I’ve counted. And it’s my birthday. Can’t you come just this time?” He said the last phrase in the cutest way he could, but seeing you bit your lip once again made him almost shout a cuss word. You looked at Rae, hoping that she would save you from that situation, but by the look on her face she agreed with Seungkwan. You were completely alone on that one, and that usually meant that it was the situation you hated the most: you were wrong.

“I bought your ticket, you know? It was a “two for one” deal and I secretly kinda wished you’d go…” Her confession took you by surprise. You hadn’t been much present in anything of their lives lately, you knew that. Work had consumed you deeply, and each case you got at the law firm was another reason for you to be unable to go anywhere they would invite you. “Come with us… pretty please?” 

It broke your heart to say the next phrase. Even though you wanted to go, you had so much work to do, and any slip could be the end of you at the law firm, so you felt like your hands were tied. “I can’t.” 

“Let’s leave it.” Seungkwan declared to Rae, immediately ordering hard liquor, what made you sure he wasn’t ‘leaving it’, but only trying to cope with the fact that your mind was already made. After that, you didn’t have the heart to leave the bachelor party as soon as you finished your second beer, so you ordered a third one. Seungkwan, on the other hand, was already on his (probably) sixth or seventh shot, and Rae wasn’t much behind. 

“At least let loose tonight OK?” After throwing back another dose he begged you, putting a shot of some clear beverage in front of you. It was the least you could do, and you just chugged it, feeling the liquor sliding down your throat, making a burning sensation spread on it. You blinked heavily trying not to make a face, and finally saw a smile appear on Seungkwan’s mouth, which made you smile back. 

You and Seungkwan kept chatting for a while, noticing a bit later that your other friend had silently left the table and was nowhere to be found. After scanning the place inch by inch, you found Rae on the dance floor, kissing passionately the tallest girl you’ve ever seen in your entire life. You looked stunned to Seungkwan, who brought his hands to his mouth as he gasped. 

“Ok, we should do that too!” He was drunk and you could see that not only by the way he was speaking, but also by the fact he was trying to kiss your cheeks at every single opportunity he got. Nevertheless, that wasn’t actually a bad suggestion. You couldn’t even remember the last time your mouth touched anything other than your moisturizing cream.

Your eyes went straight to the other side of the table, quickly finding that tall man that caught your attention earlier still talking to Seokmin. This time around, Seokmin was saying something that was making him cringe deeply, and even with that strange motion of his face you found him attractive. You pointed that direction with your head, turning your gaze to Seungkwan next. 

“Set me up with him. He’s handsome.” you asked and immediately saw another big smile appear on Seungkwan’s face. That man would root for you to leave your chastity era since you’ve entered it, always pointing out that just because you weren’t good at love it didn’t mean you should give up on it that easily. He looked at where you pointed, pressing his lips into a fine line before turning back to you. 

“Seokmin?” he looked confused and you denied, swinging your head from one side to the other. He once again turned his head, finding the person you were talking about just then. “Ah, Mingyu.” Seungkwan made a funny face after taking your words in. It was a mix of disgust and smug look, almost as if he hadn't fully decided which concept to commit to. 

“Ok, that one is Mingyu.” You vaguely remembered Seungkwan mentioning him on some random occasions, but his looks were definitely not brought up before. “Yes, yes. Mingyu. Wingman me, please.” 

Seungkwan raised his thumb up, getting up and swiftly moving towards Mingyu. Walking seemed a bit more difficult than he remembered, and for some reason things were spinning much more than he expected, but still not enough to make him quiver. He sat next to Mingyu, almost demanding his and Seokmin’s attention. “Gentleman…”

“Did you just find out we stopped talking about the new season of the Witcher like forty minutes ago?” Seokmin asked and Seungkwan declined promptly. He raised one finger, and pointed it directly to Mingyu, and then Seungkwan’s right hand met Mingyu’s left shoulder. 

“How about you… smooch smooch… with my bestie over there?” He asked, completely ignoring Seokmin’s previous comment. Mingyu looked over Seungkwan’s shoulder, seeing you fixing your glasses on your face. Your eyes were glued to your phone and you were furrowing your eyebrows at an email you had just received. 

You were attractive, he wouldn’t deny that. Your hair was very well tied back in a ponytail, a gray suit fitted you perfectly, reaching every inch of your body and leaving only space to imagination. There was some sort of nude nail polish and he could see very light makeup on your face. It was clear that you went there straight from work, and Mingyu thought that a person like that wouldn’t enjoy listening about how he does art for a living. It was always people dressed like you that kept telling him his job wasn’t actually a job, and he just grimaced remembering all those experiences.

“Um…” He took one of his fingers straight to his mouth, ripping a bit of his cuticle in the process. “... I don’t think she’s really my type. She seems to be kind of…uptight?” Seungkwan was about to protest, but Seokmin agreed with Mingyu instantly. 

“Yeah, I’ve never felt comfortable to really approach her because I feel she’ll just call me childish and, I don’t know, break my spirit. Yell at me like my mom would, tell me that my life prospects are garbage.” He confessed in an amused tone, but Seungkwan felt his mouth dropping, switching his gaze to Mingyu, who was agreeing with Seokmin, and then immediately to you. 

You looked nothing like the person he met in high school. Your hair wasn’t messy as it always used to be, you had gotten rid of the bangs that made your small face look even smaller, the gray suit was completely covering your arms and showing no parts of the places where you used to draw what later on became tattoos.

Even the expression on your face seemed a bit off. He knew you were wearing makeup to cover up the huge bags under your eyes, which only began to appear when you started your corporate job; your lips were completely bit off because that was the best way you knew to relieve stress, and you must’ve been under a lot of it. None of it reminded him of you in any way.

Seungkwan had met you in your most rebellious phase, after spending years doing anything and everything your parents expected from you, and he truly believes that the one he met was the real you. The one who always talked about being a professional photographer; who wasn’t afraid of taking risks, of leaving her comfort zone; the one who would climb up his window with a bag of m&ms telling him that you’d left only the orange ones for him cause it was his favorite color; that you. 

When your parents insisted that you wanted to pursue photography because “you weren’t able to do anything else with your life”, Seungkwan watched you study your ass off and quickly pass the entrance exam for law school. He was there during the many nights where you drunkenly promised that you would just shove that diploma into your parents face and then go back to doing what you actually wanted and liked. 

Looking at you being exactly who your parents wanted completely disheartened him. All because of your damn competitive nature and colossal pride. He left Mingyu and Seokmin by themselves without thinking twice, taking you by your hand and leading you to the outside area of the bar. You looked relaxed, opening a smile that he knew very well, one of the only things that still remained from your past self. 

“So?” You asked him. He shook his head from one side to the other with a hurt expression, but you just shrugged. “Well, trying never hurts right?” As usual, you were OK with being rejected. Seungkwan knew you’d be, it was never something that harmed you deeply when it wasn’t someone you actually liked. He had only seen you suffering because of a person once, and ever since that day you just went for one night flings, running off from the possibility of having your heart broken again

“Do you know what he said, though?” Your silence was enough for him to keep going. “He said you weren’t his type because you were too uptight. You. Uptight.” Repeating himself felt necessary for the words to sink in, but you just giggled. 

“Someone who doesn’t know me at all, I’d say.” Even though your mood was good, Seungkwan’s piercing look made you drop the tiny mocking smile that was emerging on your face. 

“No. But you are. Now you are the most uptight, moralistic and puritanical person that I know and that realization just scared the shit out of me.” Seungkwan confessed without taking his eyes out of yours. “You said you would just give the diploma to your parents and do what you wanted. When is it gonna start?” 

You were speechless. Not because you were mad, or because Seungkwan was being unpleasant in any way, but because he was completely and utterly right. “What if you never see yourself being anything more than what you are now? Aren’t you going to regret it?” His words were like knives being stung to your heart. 

“I can’t leave a good job because of my childish dreams, Kwanie.” You tried convincing both of you. Truth was you were scared of not being as good at what you like as you were in that lame ass job. What if you tried and failed? Should you simply throw away something certain for a “what if”, a naive adolescent dream you once had? 

“When did you start hanging onto your comfort zone so cowardly?” Probably the alcohol had a big part on Seungkwan’s unrelenting words, and it probably had a part on your stomach aching as soon as they reached you. “Aren’t you sick of the way you’ve been keeping yourself from actually being happy?” 

“I gotta go.” You blurted, feeling dizziness take you over and a small urge to put all those extra shots you took out of your system. You left him there, and Seungkwan regretted his words as soon as he saw you marching towards the bathroom. Sometimes the truth would only hurt someone and he felt like that was one of those times where he should’ve kept quiet. 

You passed straight through Rae as you ran to the small door with a lady painted on it, feeling your dinner coming back as soon as you kneeled in front of the vase. After leaving the stall you knew it was time for you to go home. Seungkwan was sitting on the table again, but got up as soon as he saw you approaching. Rae was still making out with the same girl on another corner of the club, seeming to have so much fun you didn’t even think about bothering her. 

“Kwanie, I’m not feeling well, I’m going home. Tell Rae I’ll leave her key on our secret spot, ok?” He hesitated first, but called your name in a sad tone that almost made you want to puke again. Before he could say anything, you just reassured him what you wanted to believe was true.

“It’s okay. I’m okay. We’ll talk tomorrow?” You asked and he nodded, knowing damn well that chatting in his drunken state could possibly bring out more things he shouldn’t talk about. “Love you.” You said as you left, hearing him say it back as you walked out. 

It’s true that most days you don't recognize yourself anymore. If you told your past self, she would never believe that this is who you were now, that this was your current life. “I’m a lawyer now. I work overnight for multi millionaire companies and I haven’t seen the beach in years. I wasn’t able to go to Egypt and take that picture with the pyramids. I now have money to do so, but I don’t have time. I don’t have time for anything. It has been so long since I’ve done something for myself… But at the end of the day I have a job. I’m not unhappy.” What would she say? 

Would she call you out for being a coward like Seungkwan did? Probably yes. She would ask when did you become someone who was content with so little. You couldn’t tell when it was that you fell exactly into your parents trap and decided to be everything that you’re not. That you weren't. That the girl you used to know wasn’t, but you are. 

chapter two - bad idea

“I thought you’d come around eventually. Seungkwan spent all of his savings renting this place and all we had to do was be there.” Rae was explaining to you once again why she bought your plane tickets when you had said with every single letter that you couldn’t go. Your face was buried inside your hands and you were about to lose all of your patience. 

“Yes, Raena, but that does not explain why on earth you did the check-in for me. I said a thousand times I cannot go. I wrote Seungkwan a fucking letter and gave it to you and you read it because you wanted to know what we talked about when you weren’t there, and it was 5k words on how sorry I was for not going.” You growled, knowing that now Seungkwan would feel your absence even during the flight by the empty seat where your ass should be. 

“I really wanted you to go, ok?” Rae lashed out, sticking her tongue out, and turning around in order to leave you alone in the kitchen as she always used to do when she was confronted and wrong. Your soft tone stopped her, and made her pout in front of you as she sat down on the other chair. 

“I really wanted to go.” You purred, mirroring the pout that just formed on your best friend’s face. “But my boss said that we’re about to get a big case, and also that I would be fired if I dared to ask for any vacation.” A huge sigh came out of you unintendedly and Rae stretched her hand to take yours, squeezing it in a comforting way. 

You hated every single bit of it. You hated missing Seungkwan’s birthday another year. You despised having to work for three years straight without even a glimpse of possibility to get some days off. You abhorred the fact that Seungkwan would be so disappointed at you, and more than that, the fact that he would never tell you how hurt he was by that until he was over it. It wasn’t your fault and you hated that it wasn’t. Not having a choice over your own life was excruciating and it made you ache deeply. 

“I should pack my luggages now, I still have a client tomorrow before the trip and I won’t have time to put everything together if I leave it for later.” She informed you and you clicked your tongue showing how frustrated you were by not doing the same thing. “By the way, when I come back I can retouch that ugly thing on your shoulder.” 

Raena knew you like the palm of her hand, so she knew dragging the subject even more would just harm you, and not convince you like she would like to. Your personality both amazed her and made her deeply angry, how stubborn you were but, at the same time, how you would always give 100% of yourself in everything you set your mind to. The way you took forever to make decisions most of the time, but eventually would wing some stupid idea and go through with it like you had planned it all along. And how loyal you were to everything you committed to: your friendship, getting to nationals with the raggedy college basketball team, that one painting class you took and simply couldn’t figure out how paint worked, and lately your stupid job.

 You both met at college, specifically when Raena spent about a month taking “Feeble Contracts” classes, absolutely sure it was the “Female Counteracts” optative she had chosen when the semester started. 

The look on her face when you told her there would be “no practice classes” because we wouldn’t want to make a weak contract was simply priceless, and you decided that she was someone you’d want to have around. 

Taking her to grab a coffee after explaining which class she was actually attending made you discover that she was taking an Arts Major and that she was without her glasses when she enrolled on that course, and was also dead sure that it was about personal defense for females. 

“Now all the men attending that class made sense.” She scoffed the word ‘men’ as if it was one of the vilest things on the planet, and you burst into laughter in no time. You also figured out her dream was to be a tattoo artist, and you told her about your passion for photography. 

On your 19th birthday she gathered her money with Seungkwan’s and they both gifted you your first film camera, a Pentax K1000 that, since that day, you used to take everywhere with you. And on her 19th birthday you gifted her your skin, for her to practice her tattooing skills - and also her first machine, but she never mentions that and you know for sure that the first one was more important. That “ugly thing” she had just mentioned referred to the first tattoo she ever made in real skin: a strawberry lined in red and green with a smiling face inside. It was your favorite tattoo because it was the most special for you and Rae. 

As you looked at your arm, reminiscing every fond memory behind those tattoos, you also remembered what Seungkwan told you two days before. “He said you weren’t his type because you were too uptight.” That phrase made a bitter laugh come out of you. So that’s what you had become after all, the thing you hated the most… how ironic was that?

You decided it was time for you to check your phone and discover what absurd request your boss had sent you on a Sunday night. Unsurprisingly you saw a lengthy email asking you to elaborate an appeal for a case that he told you he was sure wouldn’t need one when you suggested having it prepared beforehand. Jackass. You moved swiftly through your daily ritual of preparing enough coffee to keep you awake for the next six hours and sat on your bureau, adjusting your glasses, cracking your knuckles and getting ready to succumb to capitalism once more. 

Time flew as always, and before you realized the sun was already rising. You looked desperately at the time, realizing you still could have about two hours of sleep before going to work, and you decided to take that chance, practically passing out as soon as your face hit the pillow. Rae woke you up in what felt like an instant, asking you if you wanted some coffee. You mumbled a yes with your eyes still closed, and forced yourself into getting up. 

Every morning you used to give Raena a ride to her studio, and this morning was no exception, which helped lessen the burden of not enough hours of sleep you felt while driving. Nonetheless, eventually you found yourself alone in your car, listening to the same old morning radio show that played old songs, and that you were weirdly attached to. Thankfully it didn’t take you long to get to work, and when you least expected, you were being called at your bosses’ office for the 9 A.M. conference. 

Something felt off, especially because this time you were the only one there, and the head of the department had a weird sly smile on his face. You sat where you usually did, taking your glasses off for a second and cleaning in your button up shirt while you waited for the rest of the lawyers to get there. 

“So… I actually only called you here.” His raspy voice startled you, but you were able to compose yourself before he’d notice. You put on your glasses once again, taking a look at him. His fingers were tapping on the wooden table almost in a frenetic way and you could see small droplets of sweat forming in his forehead. This probably wasn’t good. 

“You know, you’re the best lawyer when it comes to any sort of corporate law, and we are super lucky to have you on our team.” The pampering was the second indication that whatever he was about to say wouldn’t be good for you, he didn’t usually compliment you at all, so listening to him doing so made a shiver work its way up through your spine. 

“Thank You, Mr. Luvidich.” Your dull tone couldn’t be helped, and you just hoped he was worried enough with whatever was going through his head to not be bothered by it. Once he just nodded and cleared his throat to continue to drone on, you knew your small act of insubordination passed by unnoticed.  

“I’m thinking about giving you the biggest case this law firm has taken in yet, and for that I’ll need you to do something for me. A big corporation had contacted us after being sued for some embezzlement allegations.” You were paying attention to his every word, wondering where it was going. “They gave us their accountability sheets and we need some of them to… Go missing. Would you be able to do that for us, sweetheart?” It took you a moment to fully understand what he was saying, but when realization finally hit you, you felt your mouth drop. 

“Are you asking me to destroy evidence?” You fumed, and his fingers hastily made their way to his mouth as he shushed you. You were infuriated that he would even think you would do such an unethical thing. 

“Look, sweetheart. We’d be just protecting our client. They have the right to our undivided loyalty. And I can’t do that, so I need you to do it.” He seemed angry, probably the idea of you refusing anything he’d proposed never crossed his mind, but neither did it cross yours that you’d receive such an absurd request. 

“Yes. But we, lawyers, also have to be truthful in our statements to others. How do you expect me to lie in court when I know that the truth is that the allegations can't be proven because I meddled with all the proof?” You kept your voice low, knowing that getting sensitive would only make you lose the argument. You are a lawyer after all, so one thing you knew you were good at was rationalizing your way out of things. 

Mr. Luvidich, on the other hand, didn’t seem calm at all. His forehead was wrinkled forming a huge frown and his lips were pressed onto each other as if he was trying his best not to yell at you at that very moment. 

“Work. Is. Work.” He spitted the words one by one. You looked at him, skeptical. If work is work, why wouldn’t he do it then? Why did he have to ask you? It was as clear as the day for you that you were his scapegoat. If you weren’t caught, they’d win the case and earn tons of money, and if you were, the only one with a dirty name and a failed career would be you. “And if you don’t agree to this now you won’t have a job tomorrow.” He said, deadpanned. 

Rage was burning inside you as you looked at that man dead in the eyes and saw him look back at you, shameless. You thought of many things to say, but he was quicker: “Don’t think I wouldn’t fire you just because our clientele likes you. There are hundreds of good lawyers in every corner of this damn town. This opportunity, whatsoever, is unique. And not taking my friendly suggestion is a bad idea.”

Seungkwan’s drunken words said on friday hit you at that very moment. “What if you never see yourself being anything more than what you are now? Aren’t you going to regret it?” You avoided thinking about them the entire weekend, fearing those few words would make you give up on everything you had built so far, but they came back to you vividly. 

The red light was right in front of you, and, at that moment, there was nothing you wanted to do more than running it, inconsequentially and thoughtlessly run it. And so you did. A smirk appeared on your face and the words left your mouth like you were dying to say them for a long time: “Well, maybe I need a bad idea.” You turned on your heels, hearing his voice sound once again before you reached the door. 

“If you leave this room you are fired.” He threatened, and you just turned around wearing a polite smile and a courteous expression. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave my resignation letter before I leave. I wouldn’t make you pay for my health insurance anymore, Mr. Ludovich. Have a good day.” You marched out of the room. In spite of your calm and collected expression, your heart was pounding as you wondered if that was actually the correct decision, but there was no turning back anymore. 

You wrote the smallest resignation letter in the world, leaving it to the firm’s secretary and telling her that you’d transfer your clients to other lawyers, and then you left the building you had spent - for the past three years - more time in than your own house. 

As you entered your car and started driving, you knew there wasn’t enough time for you to go home, let alone pack anything, so you just took your phone and called Rae instead. She picked up after a few rings, and you could hear the loud noises surrounding her. “Hey… Are there any cities near the lake house?” 

“Lake complex. Get your informations right, lady. And yes, the plane will land in the capital and then we’ll rent some cars to take us upstate.” You could hear Seungkwan’s voice in the background and a faint smile appeared on your face. That was the right thing to do and every step you took towards it made you more sure of it. You’d cross the bridge of unemployment when it came to it, but now you would get on that plane and see the proud smile on your friends faces when you tell them you quit your job. 

“Ok. Could you pass me my boarding ticket? I think I’ll be there in about 15 minutes. Is that enough time?” The loud squeak that came from the other side of the line almost made you deaf, and you said the first cuss word that came to your mouth when she did it. 

“Don’t fucking play with me you know I’m a fucking cancer I cry easily.” Rae’s comment made you giggle. “You should run, I think you’ll have to meet us on the plane. I’ll hang up now, I’m sending your ticket A.S.A.P.” 

Warmness filled your chest and a silly smile showed up on your face as you made your way to the airport. Maybe all that you needed was a pretty good bad idea like that.

chapter three - rough starts

Mingyu was in complete distress and it showed. His cuticles had been almost completely removed by his teeth as he examined every person that was entering that aircraft. He was terribly afraid of heights, so the fact that his ticket landed him on a window seat was consuming him with fear that the person sitting next to him wouldn’t want to trade seats and he’d be forced into seeing the plane taking flight. 

As he looked around he saw many familiar faces, but none of them seemed to be paying attention to him. Seungkwan was crying about something one of his best girl friends had just told him, but since he had a large grin on his face Mingyu knew it was a good thing. Seokmin was talking to Jeonghan, who sat next to him, and he could see how fond Jeonghan was of him just by the way he paid deep attention to whatever nonsense the younger one was talking about. 

Wonwoo was reading something that, from that distance, seemed like a self-help book, but Mingyu could never be sure when it came to Wonwoo. Sometimes it was the most uplifting book he’d ever read, and sometimes Wonwoo would recommend a book that would completely break his spirit and leave him crying during countless dawns. No one familiar was sitting next to Wonwoo whatsoever. 

Many people were still getting into the plane, but none of them seemed to be going to the seat next to Mingyu’s, and when no one else appeared to be entering he sighed in relief, changing seats to the corridor one and just assuming that he’d be alone in that row for the flight. After fastening his seatbelt, he stretched his arms as much as he could. Even though it wasn’t a long flight, being as tall as he was always made those small spaces for his legs uncomfortable.

“Hey, this is my seat.” Mingyu turned immediately to you, seeing a rather odd scene. You were panting, and as much as the heavy breathing was starting to get controlled, it still was not completely. Many strands of hair had escaped the pony tail you had, and your face was blushing crimson, but it seemed that it was because you ran all the way there, and not any type of embarrassment. In spite of that, you held a friendly smile on your face as you adjusted your glasses that were almost in the tip of your nose. 

“Uhm… Mine is the window seat, but I’m kind of scared of heights. Could you change places with me?” He was a bit embarrassed. Everybody knew he was a big baby when it came to heights, and he remembered you from the bachelor’s party on friday, so he was pretty sure you were there for Seungkwan’s birthday trip and sooner or later the blond man would mention his greatest weakness only to annoy Mingyu, so he didn’t think twice before confessing it. 

“Sure.” You agreed, and he stood up quickly to let you pass. Mingyu observed you as you did it. You seemed different from friday. In a reckless movement you placed your bag under the seat in front of you, fastening your seatbelt and letting your hair down after a failed attempt to put the rebel strands back on the pony tail. As soon as you let your head rest on the seat, a small smile showed up on your face and Mingyu felt one forming on his as well. “Aren’t you sitting down again?” 

Mingyu nodded, taking the place he was before and sitting without glancing at you again, afraid you had noticed his silly smile. Not long after that, the plane started moving, and once again Mingyu felt uneasy, clutching onto the arm of the chair next to him. When the plane was about to take off, he felt you gently sliding your hand onto his, holding it in such a soft way it felt comforting. 

“You can squish it if you want.” You mentioned, not even hinting at looking at him, but that didn’t stop him from turning his gaze to you. He could see your words were sincere and there was no malice on them whatsoever, as you avoided looking at him to not make him more embarrassed than he already was. He held it as softly as you did, and you just squeezed his big hand in a reassuring way.

You could feel his grip getting tighter as the plane took flight, but soon enough the aircraft stabilized and he loosened it. When the “fasten seatbelt” sign turned off, you slowly let go of his hand, looking at him and seeing a rather sheepish expression on his face. 

“Don’t worry. I know I’m not your type. It’s just that I have claustrophobia so I know how dreadful it can be going through these kinds of situations.” Mingyu’s mouth dropped as you mentioned Friday night so carelessly, and mostly because he was now sure you knew what he said to Seungkwan that very night.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times trying to know what to say, and you enjoyed watching him being shy for those seconds. He was cute. “That’s not…” Mingyu muttered, his voice was slurred and you just giggled at that. 

“Hey, Mingyu… It’s OK. You’re entitled to not feel attracted to someone, you know?” He was speechless, especially because at that very moment he was, indeed, faintly attracted to you. The way you said things so nonchalantly and the way you held his hand without even asking anything was something that made his heart flutter. “I was just joking, chill, bro.” You sounded playful and Mingyu allowed himself to smile, showing you his sharp teeth for the first time since you’ve been on that plane. 

“I guess we had a rough start, I didn’t even get your name…” He confessed and you nodded, blurting the word that always felt so weird for you to say out loud: your name. Maybe it was because you didn’t say it much, but introducing yourself always made you a bit uncomfortable, almost as if your name had no meaning. When Mingyu repeated it back to you, though, you felt completely different about it. He made it sound so soothing for some reason. “So maybe we could start over?” He had a flirtatious smile and he blinked slowly as he asked that, but you simply nodded. 

“Nah, you already called me uptight. I won’t ever forget that, Kim Mingyu.” You murmured, and his name coming out of your mouth in such a low pitch made him raise one side of his mouth and touch his canine teeth with his tongue. Yes, he was definitely attracted to you. “However, you calling me uptight was the main reason I ended up here, so if you agree on pulling this curtain down so I can sleep a bit we can work on being friends.” 

He observed you. Contrastingly to his way of speaking, you didn’t seem to be flirtatious at all, and Mingyu decided it was better to drop it at that point. “Thought you’d never ask.” He said, pointing to the curtains in a polite way, as to say that you could close it. 

It didn’t take long before your eyes closed shut, and when you opened them again you found yourself leaning on Mingyu’s shoulder. His head was leaning towards you as well, as he slept peacefully with his arm coiled up to yours. You feared that any abrupt movement could wake him up, but the loud cabin announcements started at that very moment.

“Ladies and gentlemen, as we start our descent, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position. Make sure your seat belt is securely fastened and all carry-on luggage is stowed underneath the seat in front of you, or in the overhead compartments. Thank you."

Mingyu noticed the same you just had. You both fell asleep coiling to each other. Your glasses were crooked, almost falling from your face and that made a small laugh come out of Mingyu as soon as he realized. You clicked your tongue as you untangled your arms, stretching instantly and fixing your glasses on your face. 

Once the aircraft started descending, Mingyu held your hand again, and you just let him. Clapping started as soon as the plane landed, and checking some seats behind you, you saw Seokmin excitedly putting his hands together as another person that you were pretty sure was also one of Seungkwan’s friends looked at him clearing judging that choice. 

Shortly after that, you were inside Seungkwan’s arms as he muttered “You really came” a thousand times too much. They were waiting for their luggage, and you were taking advantage of the latency to explain what happened. You told them everything, and both Seungkwan and Rae badmouthed Mr. Ludovich almost as much as you had in your head. 

“... Now I gotta buy myself some clothes ‘cause I came empty handed.” You finished your monologue when they had retrieved their luggage, and Rae quickly offered to accompany you. Looking around you could see that there were about thirty people that came for Seungkwan’s birthday trip, and you thought to yourself how could someone have so many friends, but again, Seungkwan was very likable, so it made sense. 

All of his friends that you knew were there apart from Jay, that - as Raena told you - was on his honeymoon. Mingyu smiled at you as soon as your gazes met, and you smiled back. He was waiting for Seokmin, who was fighting against the treadmill to fetch his suitcase. Everybody else seemed to have their belongings with them, and eventually you were all crossing the street to rent some cars. 

You and Rae decided to rent one to yourselves, while everybody else got divided into minivans. Since you were rummaging for some much needed clothes and utensils, you parted ways with all of them before they could decide who would be in which car, leaving Rae’s luggage with Seungkwan and driving through the city. Mingyu saw you leaving, approaching Seungkwan as soon as you did.

“Where did she go?” He had a blasé expression that could have fooled anyone, but not Seungkwan, who rapidly squinted his eyes in Mingyu’s direction. “Did I say she? I meant ‘they’. Where did they go?” The half-hearted smile that took place on the tallest face made Seungkwan need to hold back a loud laugh that tried coming out. 

“They went shopping. But she is gay. Like 100% lesbian. She even lets me call her dyke some days. That gay.” Seungkwan said and Mingyu looked extremely confused by that. He bit his lower lip softly, frowning at the sound of that.

“Then how come did you ask me if I wanted to, and I quote, smooch smooch?” Seungkwan raised both of his hands, covering his soon-to-be-red face, remembering exactly that those were in fact the words he used. But then he realized. 

“Oh, I thought you were talking about Raena…” Mingyu sulked blinking a few times while Seungkwan looked at him bewildered. His lips turned into a huge pout as Seungkwan asked the following question. “Why the fuck do you want to know about her? Didn’t you say she wasn’t your type?” 

“People make mistakes, Seungkwan. And I hadn’t talked to her yet when I said that... Do you think I blew it already?” Seungkwan chuckled, dismissing all the eyes that turned to him as he tried not to loudly burst into laughter again because of Mingyu. “Seriously. Answer please.” 

“Well, unless you are very straightforward she probably won’t realize you’re flirting with her, because, in her head, she’s not your type. Like, she was rejected once, she wouldn’t set herself up to being rejected twice.” His analysis started and Mingyu paid close attention to his words. “But…”

“Yes. There’s a but. There’s a but!” He cheered, and Chan looked at him with a fuming gaze, pulling the strings of his backpack just enough so that it would cover his bum. “Hopefully not my butt.” He murmured and at that moment Seungkwan decided that it was his best birthday so far. Simply exquisite. Top notch entertainment and it hadn’t been a day in yet.

“But, if you don’t, like… Annoy her in any way… I think there’s a chance.” Mingyu smiled brightly, making his under eyes bulge and his sharp canines appear. Jeonghan showed up just as Seungkwan was finishing his phrase, giving Mingyu the car keys and asking him to be the designated driver, and after a small briefing about who would take which car, they all headed towards the Lake House Complex Seungkwan rented for the next two weeks. 

When you and Rae got there, it was already dark and you felt awfully tired. There were about six buildings surrounding a margin of the lake, and one of them didn’t seem to have any bedrooms in it. It was also the first one you both entered in. The wall had many key holders with letters on top of them, but only two of the keys were still there. 

“Seungkwan said these were the room keys, we get to choose our letters. I’ll take R, you can keep N.” Rae shot the words, picking up the key ring with her first letter engraved in it and you looked at her, outraged. It was, of course, just an act, and you intended to let her choose anyway, but seeing her justifying herself was fun for you. 

You both found out where your rooms were, and thankfully they were in the same building. Rae called Seungkwan, who told her he was - with mostly everyone - in the kitchen. Unfortunately the lack of sleep took a toll on you, and you told Raena you were skipping dinner that day and would just rest a bit. 

The room was bigger than you expected. It wasn’t big, but it had a double bed and a bathroom, alongside a porch with a beautiful view of the lake. After taking a hot shower, you took one of the clothes you had just bought from the shopping bag, put it on, and went straight to bed, falling asleep as soon as you did. 

Next thing you knew was a loud alarm sound waking you up. It was coming for the room next to yours, but you felt so tired you refused to even open your eyes, and not too long after that it stopped. The second time it went on, you opened one of your eyes, seeing some sun rays entering your bedroom while you took your own phone. 6:32 a.m. could be read on the led screen and you decided it was still too early, you’d sleep a bit more. The sound stopped again and you closed your eyes, hoping to get at least one more hour of sleep. 

When you were about to sleep again that damn alarm rang again. Your hand went straight to your phone, and you saw it was 6:57 a.m. This time it kept ringing as you covered your head with the pillow and tried to ignore it, but after about one minute of unstoppable ringing you decided to do something about it.

You got up, marching out of your room and going to the one where the loud noise was coming from. The strength with which you knocked on the “M” door was bigged than you’d antecipated, but you were so fucking pissed off you didn’t really toned it down in the following knocks. 

After a few knocks you heard the alarm being turned off, and some steps going your way, and you took one of your hands to your hair, brushing it back knowing damn well you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep after getting up like that. Mingyu’s face was puffy when he opened the door, he was wearing sweatpants and nothing else, and his hair was a complete mess. He looked disoriented and his eyes widened as he recognized you.

Mingyu felt his heart skip a beat as he scanned you from head to toes. Your hair was messy, but they framed your face so well that it seemed you intended them to be like that. As his eyes made their way down, he saw you were wearing a black shirt that was probably five sizes bigger than yours, and the big collar made it drop a bit on your left shoulder, leaving a snake tattoo you had on your collar bone exposed, as well as the countless other smaller tattoos that covered your arms. The shirt was so big it almost covered the shorts you were wearing, but he could still see the hem of them, along with another snake tattoo that ended in the middle of your thigh, but started somewhere he couldn’t see. 

He gulped at that vision, but when his eyes came back to yours they were piercing. “Turn that fucking alarm off, for fucks sake.” You hissed, turning back to your room and slamming the door shut.

Mingyu kept looking at the floor for a few seconds, still half asleep, and as he slicked his hair back with his hands he remembered Seungkwan saying that if he didn’t annoy you, he’d still have a chance. “Fuck. I only had one job.”

chapter four - awaken

Rae was talking to Seungkwan in the kitchen when Mingyu showed up. He had thrown a shirt on top of his sweatpants and went straight to look for his friend, easily finding him drinking some coffee and chatting with the chocolate skinned girl. 

“I think I fucked up.” He had a half-hearted smile on his face and was scrunching his nose in a way that his small mole became very apparent. Rae stopped talking immediately, and both of them turned their gaze to the tall man. 

“What do you mean? Why are you awake? Didn’t you say you were waking up at seven thirty?” Seungkwan asked. Mingyu was completely shameless, so he didn’t mind that your best friend - who had never exchanged one single word with him - was also in the space, he was going to whine to Seungkwan until he reassured him that things weren’t completely lost. 

“So… You know how I always put like five alarm clocks so I can get up, right? The thing is…” His words fell as soon as you entered the kitchen. Your gaze was sharp and you scanned the whole place hoping to find yourself some coffee so you could be a functioning human being. Mingyu observed you with a faint smile on his face, almost as if he felt guilty. 

“Good morning, sunshine.” Seungkwan greeted you, but Rae touched his hand, calling out his attention and swayed her head from one side to the other, indicating that it wasn’t a good idea. 

“She’s not in a good mood, this means it’s only safe to speak to her after her first cup of coffee…” Rae whispered and Mingyu lowered his body in order to listen to it as well, receiving a confused look from Rae for his proximity. He just smiled widely at her, taking a seat at the chair next to her.

“Is she like that every morning?” Seungkwan whispered back, and Rae denied promptly, swaying her head once again and making her heavy curls swing gently from one side to the other. “Nah, just when she wakes up unexpectedly. Usually she’s… OK.” 

Seungkwan frowned at that, wondering if the almost twelve hours of sleep wasn’t enough for you, but again, your eyebags were so big he just figured you were as much tired as necessary  for it not to be enough. “Why the fuck did she wake up, then?” his question came out louder than he expected, and Mingyu was the one who regretted it the most. 

You sat down in front of them as you poured coffee in the biggest mug you could find. Your sharp eyes were fuming in Mingyu’s direction and Seungkwan realized, bursting into laughter as soon as he did. Rae got it a few seconds later and Mingyu once again had that embarrassed smile on his face. 

As soon as the gray smoke started to disappear from the coffee mug, you chugged it entirely, feeling the caffeine run through your veins and finally a bit of happiness surrounded you on that day. “Good morning.” You declared after a while, opening up a small smile and swifting your mood. “I’m a person again.” 

“You…” Your index finger pointed straight to Rae as you squinted, pressing both of your lips together into a thin line before continuing the phrase. “... Let’s switch rooms.” Rae giggled, denying promptly. 

“Hell no, you know I’m worse than you when people wake me up. For… Mingyu?” She turned her attention to him, asking if that was actually his name, and when he nodded she continued. “For Mingyu’s sake, I must not stay in a room next to five alarm clocks.” 

“There were five?!” You squeaked and Mingyu scrunched his nose, giving the fakest closed-mouthed smile you had ever seen. Your hands went straight to your forehead, as you tried to make peace with the fact that everyday you’d be woken up by that infuriating sound. 

“You should go for friendship. I guess that’s the max you're gonna get with this.” Seungkwan whispered into Mingyu’s ears and he dropped his shoulders, defeated. “Ok. Since you guys are here, you are going to receive this first hand!” The blond man blurted, getting up, but not before giving you a dirty look when he saw you pouring more coffee onto the mug, and getting out of the kitchen for a few seconds. 

“Do you guys want breakfast?” You asked Rae and Mingyu. The first one denied, it was rare for Rae to eat anything in the morning and even though you’ve lived together for almost five years now, you still couldn’t fully figure out her meal times. Mingyu, on the other hand, stood up just as you did. 

“I could make you something. I’m a good cook.” He mentioned, slurring the words because of how fast he was talking. It almost made it sound like he had a lisp, but you could tell it was not the case. At that very moment, a loud growl came out of your belly, as if it was demanding for food. 

“Shall we both make something? Then it can be ready sooner.” You proposed and Mingyu agreed. He suggested some omelets and you promptly agreed, going straight to the fridge and getting all the vegetables you used to utilize to make that plate. Seungkwan came back not much later, with a bunch of papers in hand. 

You slided a slice of carrot inside your mouth, calming your stomach, and then started slowly drinking the second mug of coffee. “Are you guys making me one as well?” Seungkwan asked, sitting exactly where he was, and watching amused as you and Mingyu were almost in perfect synchronization while cutting vegetables. 

“Yes, can you see that there are no tomatoes on this pile? It’s yours.” Mingyu responded and Seungkwan smiled brightly. He slid a piece of paper to Rae and cleared his throat, putting one of those in front of him, and started reading. 

“Booday S(eung)chedule: Fifteen Days of F(e)u(ngkwa)n” Rae was astonished while looking at the paper and as soon as Seungkwan announced the content of it you knew why. You and Mingyu shared a look before bursting into laughter. Seungkwan never ceased to amaze you with his amazing brain and lowkey cringeworthy sense of humor. You loved it, and even though you were almost crying with laughter, you let an “I fucking love you.” slip out of your mouth. 

“Puns intended.” He clarified and that almost caused you to cackle again, but you were able to recompose yourself, and so did Mingyu. You got up and started beating the eggs while he finished cutting the vegetables. “First Day: S(eungk)wan Lake. Where I take you to marvelous Lake Richboro and force you to do water activities.”  

He kept reading his plans for that first day on the lake, which included jet skis, waterboarding, wakeboarding and many others. As you were still stirring the eggs, you felt Mingyu’s presence behind you. “There are some slices of carrot left, do you want some?” His voice was low since he didn’t want to disturb Seungkwan, and you felt a small wave of electricity moving through your body, leaving from the exact point his breath touched your skin. 

“Yeah.” The word was murmured, and you saw Mingyu nod, before going back to the table. Seungkwan was still talking about what else all of you could do in the lake that day, and advising you to use sunscreen, when Mingyu’s hand appeared in front of you. He was holding one slice on that hand, and a few more on the other. Since your hands were busy, he took his hand straight to your mouth, placing the slice of carrot in front of it, and you felt a bit shy before taking it. 

He seemed unconcerned as he waited for you to open your mouth, and after a few seconds you did. His sharp teeth soon showed up in the most gorgeous smile you had ever seen, and he proceeded to put one slice into his own mouth. For some reason that disconcerted you a bit, seeing the same finger that had just touched your lips touching his. Mingyu offered you another slice as soon as he started chewing, and you took it without giving it much thought. 

“Ok, now leave it with me.” Mingyu asked as soon as you finished beating the eggs, standing in front of the stove and flashing you another smile. You sat down, holding the mug with the coffee - which by that time had already cooled down -, and waited patiently for your omelet. 

“Did you know I got the wakeboarding just for you?” Seungkwan called your attention and you were finally able to take your eyes off the small veins that were starting to appear on Mingyu’s arms as he flipped the omelet on the air. Your forehead puckered and your head tilted slightly to the side as you thought about it. 

“I… wasn’t coming, Kwanie.” You said slowly. A line could be seen between your brows as your face contorted itself into a confused look, but the corner of Seungkwan’s mouth turned up into a presumptuous smile. 

“Yes, and I was gonna use that against you.” He said blatantly. “I even rented a wakeboard and you didn’t come. Do you think that’s right? My gift better be expensive.” He dramatized every single word and at the end of it your mouth was opened wide with his audacity. Before you could complain, Mingyu placed the omelets on the table, taking a seat next to yours, and blinking at you while he made a small noise with his tongue. 

On top of yours, the word “sorry” was written with thin pieces of carrot and he was smiling at you like a puppy who just brought back the ball you tossed. You nodded, and he beamed. All of you - with the exception of Rae - started eating, and you could tell just by that simple dish that Mingyu wasn’t lying when he said he was a good cook. 

Some others arrived at the kitchen, making themselves some breakfast as well. Eventually Jessica, Seungkwan’s oldest friend, was the only one missing, and he decided to go after her to deliver the schedule for the next two weeks. 

Seungkwan had thought of many fun activities, including - of course - karaoke basically every night. He was a good singer and, because of that, he was completely obsessed over karaoke. You never complained because his voice was way too good for you to not like hearing it, but things started to get a bit messy when Rae drank enough to think that she was pitch perfect. 

Sooner than later the big kitchen started to look small, packed with many faces and filled with the noises of random unsynchronized conversations. That was when you decided it was time for you to leave, so you got up quietly, taking all the empty plates that were left on the table, and decided to wash the dishes.

Chan’s hysterical laugh echoed in the kitchen as soon as he started reading the paper Seungkwan had left in front of him, and that probably covered the sound of Mingyu’s steps towards you. It was only when you heard his voice that you noticed his presence. 

“I can wash that if you want…” He said, almost making you drop the plate you were thoroughly washing. It flew from your hands, but you were able to catch it before it hit anywhere near the sink, and then you sighed. “Wow, those are some good ass reflexes. I could never do that.” 

“And you expect me to let you wash anything? I mean… that comment did not help your case at all, Kim Mingyu.” You said it facetiously and you saw Mingyu biting his lower lip trying to contain a smile. “It’s OK, you cooked, I clean. Next time I’ll cook and you’ll clean. It’s the sacrifices we must make for a good coexistence.” You gave a lopsided grin, making a small dimple appear on your face. 

“Do you expect me to turn off all the alarms? I don’t think I can wake up without them…” He stammered and you let a small giggle emerge as you denied, moving your head slightly from one side to the other. 

“No, but can we tone it down for like… three?” Mingyu felt something flourish on his chest with the gaze you gave him after the question. Could anybody deny you anything ever? If he had to bet, he would bet in “no”. She must’ve been a good lawyer. He thought to himself, convinced that you were using some sort of technique to get what you wanted from him, and to make him feel that weird way. 

Mingyu knew damn well that three alarm clocks usually weren’t able to wake him up. He would instinctively turn off the first four, and only on the fifth he would actually wake up… Or activate the snooze mode. Either way he sounded confident when he responded, and decided that he would make that work. He wanted to make that work, and he didn’t quite figure out why, because it was still too soon for him to believe that the reason was right in front of his eyes: you.

“I’ll make it two if you can beat me on wakeboarding today.” 

chapter five - no way in hell

Feeling better after the - maybe too much - coffee and the breakfast you just had, you decided to go on a reconnaissance mission on the property, that seemed way prettier now than it did the day before.

The building you were currently in was the main building. Differently from the other buildings, it faced the road and not the river, but at the left side of it there was a path that led straight to a huge pier. You realized how tired you were last night because it had gone completely unnoticed by you until that very moment. 

The pier was wooden, and there was an apparent rustic lounge in the middle of it, which obscured your vision of the rest of it. The building you had just left was bigger than the others, even though they were all two story ones. 

On the ground floor of the main building there was a living room, with some round tables, many beanbags, a huge sofa that could probably fit two football teams, and wooden stairs that could take you to the first floor. There was where you could find the kitchen. When it came to rooms, there were seven buildings arranged in a semicircle, with a huge pool in the middle of them. Three of them facing the lake - including the one where your room was -, and the other four facing the mountains. 

You took the long way to your room, circling the pool and seeing that everything was mostly deserted. “Of course, they’re all in the kitchen”, you thought, deciding to speed up and get ready for Seungkwan’s plans for the day. 

Taking way too long in the shower was something you haven’t done in a while, since you always seemed to be in a rush lately. As you felt the cold water hitting your head in a soothing massage you thought to yourself what kind of life you were living, if that small, mundane thing, had caused you such a happy feeling. 

“How can I be this happy if I’m fucking unemployed?” The words came out of your mouth in spite of you being alone. No. They came out of you because you were alone. This was the first time you confronted reality since yesterday and you couldn’t let a small sneer come out alongside that realization.

As your mind started spinning, the drops of water stopped feeling like a massage and started feeling as torture, so you turned the faucet off. Math was never your strong suit, but you started adding up the numbers: You had enough money saved for you to last about a year, could you find a job until then? Yes. The answer came promptly. A small smile replaced that self-harming sneer you had just now, you had time. You could enjoy this. Looking for a way of living would be a problem for the “you” that lived two weeks ahead. Not now-you. Now-you were going to put on a bathing suit and relish this. Rae knocked on your door as soon as you finished putting sunscreen on, asking for you to lend her yours. 

“How come you forgot sunscreen?” You asked, while helping to reach her lower back. It was a surprise for you that Raena would forget anything skin-related, since she was practically an ambassador of skincare. There had not been a day since she hadn’t forced you to put sunscreen on to go to work, mumbling something about you thanking her later. 

“I brought sunscreen… But just the facial one. I was so worried about bringing my lotion so I don’t get ashy that I forgot the body cream.” She sounded defeated, and as soon as you finished covering every last spot of her body - especially her tattoos - you handed her your sunscreen. 

“Take this one. I bought two because I forgot to mark it on my emergency bucket list when we went shopping yesterday.” Her face lit up with the most beautiful smile, and she held your face with both hands, landing a kiss on your right cheek that almost felt like a slap. 

“What would I be without you?” She asked, pulling you out of the room. Once you entered the main house, Jessica was coming down the stairs by herself. She hadn’t arrived in the kitchen until you left, so you could only imagine that she was going back to her room after breakfast. Rae tensed up a bit as soon as she saw her, and you both were greeted by a warm smile on Jessica’s face. 

“Are you guys already going to the pier?” Her bangs were perfectly aligned and she was already wearing a bikini that was peaking out around her neck from her shirt. You nodded, and Rae followed you along. “Great! I’ll just brush my teeth and will be there in a minute.” 

“See you there. It’s a date. Haha.” The awkwardness on Rae’s phrase was almost palpable for you, and were you not too shocked to do anything other than stare at your best friend, you would have wheezed at the very fake laugh she gave at the end of the phrase. “The door, let’s…” She mumbled at you, pushing you towards the glass door that led to the pier. Your mouth was still open, but as soon as Jessica got distante enough you smirked her way.

“So we’re attracted to Jessica. I see.” You commented nonchalantly, and Rae raised her middle finger without giving you a glance. “I’ll take that as a yes. Is she… you know… a woman-kisser-type?” A huge pout appeared on your friend’s face as she sulked, and she dramatically shrugged her shoulders. 

“I. Don’t. Know.” She said the phrase slowly and in such a low whisper you mostly read her lips instead of actually listening. Both of her hands went to her cheeks, framing her face and making the pout grow bigger. “I mean she has short nails. Yesterday in the kitchen she said her favorite show was Orange is The New Black… That’s pretty gay. But I don’t know.” 

You watched her scrutinizing the whole interaction they both had while you were sleeping and for the first time you wished you had decided to have dinner the night prior. Rae’s gaydar was shit. Yours was way better, even though she was much more involved in the LGBTQ+ shenanigans. “Did you ask Seungkwan?” You checked, knowing her well enough to realize that such an easy way out of the doubtful state wouldn’t be perceived by a panicked Raena. 

“Shit. Seungkwan must know. I’m an idiot.” The wheeze you held in earlier came on full force, of course she didn’t ask. What that indicated to you, whatsoever, was that Jessica was an actual crush, and not just some pretty girl Rae would like to hook up with and never talk to again. “How about you, are you eyeing anyone here? Jeonghan’s cute.”

“Of fucking course you’d pick the most feminine man out of them all. You are so predictable.” She just shrugged again after saying that he was her type. Rae went silent for a while, stopping you as soon as you both stepped on the pier. 

“How about Rugel?” An expression of complete disgust took over your face and Raena remembered Friday, where Rugel was almost getting on his knees, begging Jay to bring some strippers. “Ew. No. You’re right… Just Kim Mingyu then.” 

You looked at her, sticking your tongue out before admitting. “He’s my type, what can a girl do?” She giggled at the way you said the phrase, but your shoulders dropped after you said the next phrase: “I’m not his, though. So I’ll just… enjoy my friends on this trip I guess?” 

“Leave me out of it, don’t fucking cockblock me.” You pushed her softly, and she pushed you back, giggling at your fake pout. “You are very charming. Couldn’t you change his mind? He seems to be more open to you… I noticed today. But that could also be him being terrified, I can’t understand the straights.” She gestured vaguely, and said the words as if she was talking about a totally different species. You bit your lower lip, trying to keep your voice down. “I actually don’t know? Mingyu seemed to be flirting a bit with me lately, but I don’t know if…” 

“Nah, that’s just Mingyu being Mingyu.” Seokmin’s voice startled you, making you blurt out a jumble of words that made no sense. “Oh sorry. Did I scare you?” He asked and you fumed him, feeling your heart trying to burst out of your chest. 

“You think?!” He smiled awkwardly, but it still made his eyes vanish. Rae was squinting at him, she knew Seokmin was also good friends with Jessica and she was struggling between deciding if she should ask him about her sexual orientation or whether he had heard the conversation you both were having. 

“Were you listening?” She decided to go for the safest option for her. She knew Seungkwan well enough to know he would keep her secret, but she knew nothing about Seokmin besides that he had great teeth and apparently was good at entering conversations. The man denied, swaying his head from left to right, making his silky hair glow under the sunlight. 

“No. No.” He was quick to explain himself, a bit surprised that the most scary of you two at that moment seemed to be Rae, and not you. “I went to get UNO cards for us to play and I heard you talking about Mingyu flirting… He’s like that. He flirted with my grandma when we went to visit her. It’s… the only way he knows how to be nice I guess?” You nodded and Rae let out a sigh of relief. Her secret crush would live another day.

“It’s okay with me. I wouldn’t want to hook up with him anyway. I still have some pride, you know?” You declared, and Raena giggled at the rapid change of heart you had when Seokmin got involved in the conversation. 

“Oh, come fucking on. His boobs are bigger than mine, of course you would hook up with him.” That damn slick smile on her face made your blood boil. She knew you well enough to know that when you want something you get, but at the same time you’re a prideful bitch that misses out on opportunities because of some hurt ego. Mingyu, whatsoever, didn’t hurt your ego, so there was no way in hell you would pass up that opportunity if it came to you eventually.

“What’s the point of such big manboobs if there’s no heart behind them? There’s no way I’d hook up with Kim Mingyu. End of story.” You guaranteed. Seokmin was switching his gaze from you to Rae, but he soon cleared his throat, almost demanding your attention.

“Changing subjects, do you guys want to play UNO? I must warn you, though… Seungcheol is a bit competitive…” A grin showed up on your face as you nodded excitedly. Rae and Seungkwan usually avoided playing with you because they said that you could get too worked up when it came to any sort of card games, but deep down you felt like they were just bad losers and you were a good player. 

Rae looked at you, and then to Seokmin. She knew you, and she knew what a competitive bastard you were… Probably she couldn’t handle two of you in the same game, that would be too much of a hazard for her to take. Besides, she could always lay under the sun to get a bit tanned while you were cursing yourselves over colored cards. 

“Are we playing UNO? I love UNO!” Jessica’s voice echoed from a small distance, and you saw Rae’s gaze change. The person that seemed settled on setting the game aside had vanished from her eyes, and a Rae that was willing and excited to play UNO appeared instead. 

“Yeah! I’d love to play UNO. UNO’s the best…” She seemed unsure, but probably you were the only one who knew Raena enough to notice. Her feeble smile made a presumptuous smirk show up on your face, but as Seokmin and Jessica finally entered the lounge, she just place her index finger on one of the lenses of your glasses - something she used to do constantly simply to annoy the shit out of you - and stuck her tongue out marching in. 

“You’re no better than a man.” You declared, taking off your glasses to clean that stupid fingerprint.

chapter six - draw four

“You cannot stack a draw four on top of a draw two. It’s against the rules.” You nagged as Seungcheol’s cheeky grin faded after trying to turn your two remaining cards into twelve. 

“Says who?” His eyes turned big as he sulked, almost like he was defying you with a presumptuous look, but you just sulked back, squinting your eyes and trying to assert your dominance. There was no way that man would make you draw ten cards when you were so close to winning. 

Since the UNO games had started, you had won twice and Seungcheol three times. The small spark of competitiveness turned into a fire as soon as he said your first win was “sheer luck”, and even though Seokmin had also won three times, he was completely ignored by the two of you, who started competing against each other to see who would win more.

“UNO rules.” You picked up the draw four card from the pile, giving it back to him. “Now be a man, pick up the fucking six cards and make me pick up four next time.” His mouth dropped, but when he looked around he could see that everyone was on your side. Fuck, Seungcheol thought to himself. He reached for the draw pile, counting the six cards as you smiled victoriously.

“Good boy.” His head turned to you quickly, bearing a fuming gaze and pierced eyebrows. He took the hair elastic from his wrist, and tied the upper half of his hair, leaving just the bleached part down. “It’s on.” The words came out in a low pitched voice, and you just replied with a cocky smile and a wink, that seemed to make him more frustrated. 

“The last time I’ve experienced this kind of unnerving match was soccer I guess…” Jessica whispered to no one in particular, but was easily heard by Mingyu and Rae, who were sitting by her side. Mingyu was observing your interaction with a weird feeling on his chest that he couldn’t distinguish what was. 

“World Cup?” Rae asked. At that time, you had just reversed the game and called UNO, making Seungcheol more pissed than he already was, and the small kiss you blew to him was enough to make Mingyu turn his attention completely to the girls next to him, wanting to see no more of that interaction.

“Nah. FIFA. My 12 year old brother was playing against our 31 year old neighbor and things were… intense. Charles moved out with his wife after that game…” A loud cackle came out of Rae while Mingyu pushed his lips together trying not to laugh loudly. He closed his eyes and let his body fall back as Rae murmured “Poor Charles” while she tried to gasp for air. 

“Which one is which, though?” Mingyu asked after recovering, wiping a few tears that had formed in the corner of his eyes. The laughter called the attention of Wonwoo, who was sitting next to Mingyu, and Robin - one of Seungkwan’s closest co-workers -, who sat next to Raena. 

“That depends on who wins at the end…” She was serious, and that made Mingyu want to laugh all over again. Joshua asked what was that about, being filled in by Mingyu and wheezing as soon as he did. 

“I actually think they’ll end up dating. That's the classic “rivals to lovers” trope.” Robin commented quickly and Mingyu sulked, biting his lower lip and feeling an animosity appear between him and the small girl. 

“Oh, that’s my favorite fanfiction trope.” Wonwoo commented unintendedly, and as the four of them gave him shocked looks he cleared his throat and adjusted his posture before correcting himself in a very unconvincing way. “Book trope. I meant book trope.”

“Pay attention to the game, please?” Seungcheol’s voice echoed amongst the lounge, and Wonwoo noticed it was his turn to play. He dropped any card, being followed by the other four one by one.

“I don’t think he’s her type.” Mingyu resumed the conversation, talking specifically to Robin, but making himself be heard by the other people that were paying attention. He glanced once again to you, watching as you smirked at Seungcheol while he sulked watching no one changing the color that he knew for a fact you had. 

“Oh, he is. Competitive... Nice smile... Funny… Defying her like that, but also was kind to her, giving her his pillow for her to sit down as soon as we arrived… Fire sign... He’s totally her type.” Rae raised a finger at every characteristic she could point out that made Seungcheol someone who you would be attracted to, and Mingyu’s mouth formed a pout that got bigger for every finger she’d raise. “Actually yeah, that could turn into something more by the end of these weeks, you’re totally right, Robin.” 

“That’s 3-3, Cheolie.” You said as you discarded your last card, and Seungcheol dropped his cards furiously. Mingyu dropped his as well, and suddenly he didn’t feel like playing UNO anymore. He couldn’t cope any longer with the discomfort on his chest and decided it was time for him to do anything else. 

“Aren’t you playing anymore?” Your voice caused an electric wave to run through his body, and suddenly the discomfort grew into a throb on your chest. The bright smile you had on your face contrasted deeply to the audacious smiles you threw Seungcheol’s way through the last four games, but it made him smile back. 

“Yeah. I’m just… going to get my phone.” He scanned the room and made up an excuse last minute, seeing his phone charging on a corner not that far. Your smile grew and Mingyu felt hypnotized by it. The way your nose scrunched, the way your cheeks would lift so much that your eyes almost vanished, the odd placement of your tongue that made the smile look so pure and at the same time so provocative… Everything was endearing to Mingyu, and made his heart pound. 

“Guys, it’s almost time for the beginning of my morning schedule.” Seungkwan nagged. Apart from the two of you, everyone seemed to be playing just to pass the time, and just the mention of the beginning of the - so called - “S(eungk)wan Lake Day” started to lift everyone’s spirits. 

“Ok. I’ll just beat Cheol’s ass on this one last game and then we can go to the lake.” Once again the presumptuous smile showed on your face, and Mingyu sat down to see Seungcheol copy that look while you fixed your glasses. 

“How about that? We’re 3 to 3, whoever wins this will be the champion, and the loser will get flicked on the forehead.” Seungcheol suggested and you promptly agreed.

“I’m in.” Seokmin blurted out, seeing the two of you look at him like adults watching a six year old saying they’ll go all in on a poker game where he was just a spare wheel. You just ignored it, dealing the cards. You and Seungcheol kept bickering the entire game, stacking attack cards on top of each other to prevent the other from winning at every possibility. 

“UNO. I want the color yellow.” Seokmin yelled the words, and both you and Seungcheol let a loud “Fuck” slip out of your mouths at the same time. Seokmin wasn’t sitting next to either of you, but he was closest to you. Chan was in between you two, and Seungcheol was sitting on the other side, making the order be: Seungcheol, You, Chan, Seokmin. 

Your nemesis looked at you as the others played their cards, and he slowly showed you a yellow +2 card he had on his hand. You smiled brightly, showing him two +2 cards you had in your own hands, and as if your brains were connected you understood perfectly what he was indicating when he waved his head slightly to Chan.

“Pss, Lee Chan.” You whispered, sliding one of your +2 cards his way and winking. He, on the other way, looked displeased, denying the card with a sulky face. You insisted, sliding the card to him once again, and he swayed his head from one side to the other as he slid the card back. 

“I just have two cards, I won’t get one of yours.” He seemed obstinate. Seungcheol, who was paying attention to every single bit of it, made a discontent sound. You bit your lower lip, trying to think of a way to prevent Seokmin from winning. 

“What are we gonna do?” As you pretended to stretch, you closed the gap between you and Seungcheol to whisper in his ear, but before he could answer, Jeonghan dropped a Wild Card, calling out for the color red. You were relieved and you could see Seungcheol was also. 

“Bet he stole that before the game began just so he could use it now.” He whispered at you and you let out a small giggle. That round was truce between you two, neither of you needed to word it for you to know, and that was why Seungcheol discarded a red four, even though you knew he had a plus four that you’ve got a glimpse of when he was showing you his plus two. 

“UNO. Yellow.” Chan howled excitedly, making both of your smiles drop at an instant. He was so focused on his own game that he paid Seokmin’s game no mind, and that bit you and Cheol on your asses. Chan was smiling brightly, gaze fixed on his card and waiting for someone to discard the same number so that he could win before his turn could arrive - it was a house rule that you could ‘cut’ the game if you had called UNO. It obviously didn’t happen, as Seokmin placed his last card on the pile, making you and Seungcheol throw your cards completely vexed. 

Everyone seemed excited with that outcome but the two of you. Seokmin ran towards Mingyu, throwing himself in his arms to celebrate, and Jeonghan couldn’t stop laughing at Chan's confused face, realizing he had just lost. Seokmin got up, starting to crackle his fingers. 

“Give me your foreheads, I’ve won four times. I am THE champion.” He stretched the word more than necessary and you felt vanquished. He was the champion and you were the loser. Fuck. 

With a big pout on your face, you brushed your hair back with your fingers, exposing your forehead. “Ok. Get it over with. I admit defeat.” Mingyu giggled at the way you said it, you looked outrageously cute. Seokmin crackled his fingers a bit more, shaking his hand and suddenly holding his middle finger with his thumb. 

“Don’t hit her too hard.” Mingyu found himself speaking without even noticing, and that distracted Seokmin, who ended up missing the right spot on your forehead and only grazing his middle finger. He looked furiously at Mingyu, who just raised his hand slowly, giving him a thumbs up with a half hearted smile. Seungcheol didn’t have the same luck, and you giggled at the red mark that started forming on his forehead. 

Everyone headed towards the lake, but you decided it was best for you to leave your glasses at your room before losing them like you did on your last trip to the beach. As Seungkwan started to guide everyone out, you faced towards the path that led to the main house. 

“Are you always that competitive?” Mingyu started to trace the same way you did, catching up with you in no time. You slowed your pace until he did, and then you started walking together. Looking at him, you saw a curious look on his face, and a closed-mouthed smile waiting for your response. 

“Yeah…” You were quick to confess. It was a part of you that you weren’t exactly proud of, but it still was a part of you, so you never felt like hiding, and Mingyu had just experienced the whole thing, so you were sure lying wouldn’t be effective. “To be honest I usually don’t give up until I win. I just didn’t suggest another UNO game because Seungkwan would murder me, and by murder I mean…” 

“Not talking to you for six months and then crying while nagging about you not respecting his wishes on his birthday?” Mingyu asked and you just raised one of your eyebrows. He opened another smile, making his teeth show up this time and immediately biting his lower lip especially with his canines. 

“I was going to say ‘yell’, but damn that was specific. Are you ok?” His face made you giggle, and he giggled as soon as you did. He pretended to be wiping some tears off his face as he rambled “I’m ok. I’m ok.”, which made you giggle again. Mingyu felt accomplished. He would do anything to hear that sound once more, but his fast brain made a connection that it probably shouldn’t and he got serious all of a sudden. 

“If you don’t give up until you win, why did you give up on me so easily?” His question made you stop giggling, but you didn’t notice how serious he was about it, continuing to walk thoughtlessly. 

“Simple. You’re not a game.” You responded unhinged. “Winning a game is up to me, someone being attracted to me is not.” Silence took over as Mingyu thought of your words. There was something else he wanted to ask, but no combination of words seemed to express exactly what it was. 

“What if I wanted it to be a game?” He was actually trying to say that he did not want you to give up, but as soon as the words were spoken he realized that not even he understood the phrase that way. 

“Well, if it was a game… It’s like you stacked four plus fours, making me pick up sixteen as soon as the game started. Does that make sense?” You had finally arrived at the building where your room was, but him following you along didn’t seem odd since his room was next to yours. You’d just figured he also had something to leave or take from his room. 

“I annoyed you?” He asked, slightly worried, but you giggled, stopping at the front of your door, and seeing him stop as well. You slowly moved your head from one side to the other. 

“No. I just knew that it was a game I couldn’t win.”

chapter seven - bitter secret

When you left your room again, Mingyu was still standing in the same position he was before. You squinted involuntarily, trying to get a better glimpse of his face, but since he was more than ten inches away, your attempt was unsuccessful. 

“You’re still here.” The remark was more to you than to Mingyu, but he nodded, tilting his head slightly towards the only way out of the building, as if he was inviting you to leave. In a very natural movement he offered his hand for you to take, and once again you found yourself squinting, this time to make sure that it was actually happening. The step you took was reckless, but your actions were more reckless than that, as you reached out for the hand he was offering you and let him pull you out of the building. 

“Had to make sure you weren’t cheating, I’m way too accustomed to Yoon Jeonghan, I fear.” Mingyu was walking in front of you as he guided you through the corridors, and for that tiny moment you let him do it, ignoring the soft touch of his hand on yours, the absence of sweat on his palms this time, the warmth of his fingers that contrasted with your usually cold ones. You ignored all of it, because if you thought for a second about it you would know that holding his hand was a stupid thing to do. 

When you left the building you let go of his hand, and for the first time he seemed flustered, as if only then he had noticed he was holding your hand so nonchalantly this entire time. “Have you done it before? Wakeboarding?” You asked, making the awkward tension that had installed between you two vanish, and you walked a bit faster to get to his side. 

“Uh hum.” Mingyu answered. He had a small smirk on his lips, but you couldn’t actually see it well enough to fully understand what he meant by it, so you just decided to look where you were heading and not the one beside you. “I’m actually pretty good at it, you’re screwed. Have you done it before?” 

“Nope. Never.” The words made him stop, running your way as soon as he saw you almost hitting your head on the branch of a tree that was a bit too low. Your eyes were fixed on the ground, and because of that you missed the tree, but Mingyu’s hand went straight to your forehead, getting in the way of it and the branch, as he gently placed his hand to protect your face. 

“Hey! Be careful! I’m not used to being the least clumsy one, you know?” He nagged and you giggled at that comment. “You’ve never been wakeboarding and yet you made a bet with me? That’s a bit stupid.” 

“Just because it’s stupid it doesn’t mean it’s wrong… And stupid’s usually more fun, you know?” You justified yourself, watching him trip on absolutely nothing as he tried to match your pace. “I’m very athletic, I’ll be fine. You, on the other hand, are about to be beaten by someone who has never wakeboarded before… That’s a bit embarrassing.”

“Guess I’ll be keeping my three alarms then.” His smug look made you want to win so bad you almost started running towards the pier to get the competition started. You probably wouldn’t win, you knew that even before Mingyu told you that he had tried it before, but seeing him smile like that made you glad you agreed to that bet.

As you approached the pier, you saw the boat already connected to a tow cable, alongside with a wakeboard and a few wakeboarding boots scattered around the place. Jeonghan was trying to find boots that would fit him, while Rae was standing next to Jessica and Seungcheol, who were playing rock, paper, scissors for some reason you didn’t know. 

Some people were on the water, playing on a separated part of the lake that was shallower than the one where the boat was in. They played with a ball and you wondered if you would have time to do that too. 

“Yes!” Jessica screamed, and you decided to go there before finding out what you would need to go wakeboarding. She was holding two fingers up and Seuncheol was looking at his open hand regretfully. “Do you wanna go jet skiing with me, Raena?” 

Rae’s face started tinting gradually while Jessica had her eyes directed towards her. She nodded awkwardly and the redness spreaded more when the red-haired girl grinned brightly and started to look for life jackets. “Dude, get a grip.” You whispered to your friend and that was enough to wake her up. She went after Jessica, helping her with the life jacket and letting the girl help her to put on hers. 

“You lost again… How lame.” You murmured to Seungcheol and his eyes started fuming you. A big pout formed on his mouth and you knew he was about to nag, but Mingyu’s loud voice muddled any train of thought Seungcheol had going on, and he just stood there glazing at you.  

“Ya… Yoon Jeonghan is pretty good at it.” His voice was a bit louder than normal and he just meddled in between you and Seungcheol, stopping in a way that made you both take a step back, furthering away from each other.  Mentioning Jeonghan’s name was enough to rip the pout out of Seungcheol’s face and turn the frown into a mesmerized look. He was, indeed, pretty good at wakeboarding, despite his not-so-athletic looks. 

While you were almost hypnotically following Jeonghan with your eyes, you landed on Jessica and Raena trying to hop on a blue jet ski that was parked on the last spot of the pier. The red-haired girl was cackling at something that Rae said, and the latter was smiling proudly at the scene. 

“Is Jessica single?” The question was blurted out unintentionally, but it was enough to make both Mingyu and Seungcheol take their eyes off of Jeonghan and turn them to you. There was no point in going back with your question, so while they looked at you, unsure if the question was rhetorical or actually aimed at one of them, you simply raised one eyebrow, almost demanding an answer. 

“Yeah. She is.” Seungcheol answered, and soon enough Mingyu jabbered something that sounded like a “Maybe, why?”. You nodded at the answer, turning your eyes back to Jeonghan and asking the following question without properly looking at any of them. 

“Does she like girls?” Mingyu’s eyes went straight to Seungcheol, and he waved his head from one side to the other, begging with his eyes for Cheol to deny it. He, on the other hand, seemed too intrigued by Jeonghan’s abilities to actually pay attention to Mingyu, and just answered casually: “Um hum. She’s pansexual.” 

“Nice…” 

“Why?” Mingyu’s question came at the same time as your response. You just shrugged, noticing that Jeonghan had fallen for the third time and was, because of that, coming back to the starting point of the wakeboarding to pass it onto one of you. “I was just curious.” You said, starting to look for a life jacket and boots that would fit you. There was no way in hell you’d sell Rae out like that, and if they didn’t notice her obvious interest in Jessica, you weren’t going to be the one to tell them. 

Mingyu was sulking while he also looked for equipment for him. You paid him no mind, finding out that all life jackets were the same size, but they were adjustable. After a few minutes trying to figure out how the fuck you should tighten the belt for it to fit your body size, you saw Mingyu approaching you and noticed that his sulk was still on his face. 

“You have to pull this part.” He said it, pointing to a strap that was on the right side of your body. Pulling it was harder than you thought, and you imagined it was broken. You pulled it up, down and sideways but the belt wouldn’t budge even a little. 

“Gyu, help me.” Your voice was soft and looking at you made something inside Mingyu crumble. He got completely stuck in place, mesmerized by the way your mouth folded when you called him by that nickname, trapped by your kind gaze and the way you - for the first time - seemed helpless. You weren’t. You weren’t helpless at all, Mingyu was sure of that, he was the one who was helpless, feeling his heart burn inside his chest with a simple word. 

“Please?” You pleaded once again and that made him finally move. The smile you flashed at him when he approached you was enough to make him almost trip on his own feet. You raised your arm a bit to make it easier for him to reach the strap he should pull, and Mingyu felt glad you did so, because that way your arm stood between your eyes and his trembling hands. 

“S-sure.” He stuttered. Even though he imagined taking his eyes off of yours would make things better, seeing a small glimpse of flesh from your waist and some drawing he couldn’t distinguish from so little disclosure made him shiver. Mingyu simply pulled the strap as fast as he could, inebriated by the proximity of you two and hoping that it would be over soon so he could come back to his senses. 

“You know, what? Let me tell you a secret…” Mingyu stepped back as soon as he helped you adjust your life jacket, but the heat that took over him after getting close to you didn’t seem to go away, but to only get worse when you murmured those words so quietly he was sure to be the only one to have listened to them. 

His hands were still trembling and his heart was pounding on his chest when you approached him once again, standing on your tiptoes to whisper something in his ear. The hand you placed on his shoulder to help you to stand taller burned like coal and he wasn’t sure about actually listening to what you had to say because of how loudly his heart was palpitating. “I’m kind of glad you rejected me. That way we can be friends. I think we’ll make good friends.” 

Before he could say anything else, Jeonghan’s high pitched voice took over the pier, as he asked who was next. You raised your hand excitedly, and ran over to Jeonghan, asking him some tips for you not to fall, and Mingyu just stood there, letting those words sink alongside a bitterness he never felt before. 

chapter eight - gratitude

“... Then she simply held my hands and placed them on her waist!” Raena was gushing words one after the other while pacing in circles inside her room, and you and Seungkwan were lying on her bed, too tired to do anything but listen. Your arms were so heavy you felt like they could fall off at any time, and your legs felt weak, both from the wakeboarding and from following Jeonghan’s advice to “no matter what you do, don’t let go of the handle.” 

Fuck. You should’ve let go of the handle when it hurted, but some part of you still wished you could last longer than Mingyu and win yourself that stupid bet, but no. You didn’t win anything more than an aching body and the taste of utter defeat. Oh, and also three alarm clocks to wake you up the following morning, hurray.

“I think I’m in love.” After telling you all the excruciating details of her interaction with Jessica during that day, she concluded, throwing herself on top of you two and making Seungkwan curse loudly when he felt her weight mostly over him. 

“You say that every six months. Chill out, miss ‘I’m a cancer’”, you closed your eyes, not needing to see her to know exactly the face your best friend would make after listening to those words, and also knowing damn well what her next words would be. 

“This time is different…” She pleaded, but Seungkwan let a small giggle slip from his mouth, and when Raena gave him the dirty look he simply shrugged nonchalantly, spitting the words she also knew well, and also knew were true: “You also always say that.” 

“She’s gay though. I mean, panssexual, but nonetheless she kisses women, so I say go for it.” You informed her and next thing you knew was Rae’s weight shifting completely from Seungkwan to you, as she hugged you awkwardly because of the weird position you both found yourselves in.

Seungkwan started laughing when Raena decided that showering you with kisses - that he knew for a fact that you didn’t actually enjoy that much but only endured because they came from Rae - was a good idea. Your phone started ringing and while Rae murmured a bunch of gratitude words for the universe for “making her crush like women”, you asked Seungkwan to see who it was. 

Your mother’s name popped up on the screen and he remembered how shocked he was when he figured out that you wouldn’t simply put “Mom” or “Dad” on their contact informations because if somebody kidnapped you, they wouldn’t know who to call for money and your parents wouldn’t be worried about you being kidnaped and shit. Made absolutely no sense to Seungkwan, who had his mother saved as “Mommy” until this day. 

“It’s your mom.” His announcement created a discomfort that was almost tangible. You felt every single cell of your body stiffen, and your eyes opened wide towards the phone. He could see you processing the information slowly, and even Rae realized something was off about your reaction, which made her roll her body away from yours. 

“Decline it.” You said after giving it a little bit of thought. You weren’t ready for that conversation yet, and you were just starting to enjoy your “vacation” - you decided to not call it unemployment until you came back home for your own sake -, so getting scolded by your mother after texting her that you’d quit your job was not on your plans for the week. 

“You should talk to your mother.” Seungkwan said, passing you the phone without declining the call like you had asked. You did it yourself, pressing the red button and turning your phone off after you’ve done it. 

“I will… Just… Not now.” You explained after seeing his scandalized expression. Seungkwan was a good son who had an awesome relationship with his parents, and sometimes you hated him for it. No. Not him. What you actually hated was that he couldn’t understand how bad communication was between you and your parents. They were good parents, they’d always provide and make sure you felt loved and belonging, but they didn’t know you also wanted to feel heard. And, unfortunately for you, that was never the case. No matter how hard you tried conveying your thoughts, they would never try to understand. The miscommunication often made it seem to them - and, in some ways, to you - like you were a bad daughter. 

“I gave birth to a beautiful girl, and for what? For her to keep things from me! For her to not tell me shit about herself!” Your mom would always say the same things when you wouldn’t answer her questions, or even when you would answer them, but not the way she wanted. “Don’t lie. I know you’re keeping something from me.” It was always the same. Sometimes she didn’t even say anything, but her expression proclaimed the words louder than she would or could. And you’d feel like shit. Always feeling like you were not enough, like your experiences were never enough. 

You remember the look on her face when you showed her and your dad your acceptance letter to Law School. It was a first for you: the first time you actually felt she was proud, the first time you felt her smile was genuine. 

How would you explain to her that she wasn’t happy for you back then, but for herself? How would you explain to someone who never tried to understand you that you had found yourself dancing to a song you didn’t like and simply decided to turn off the music? You didn’t want to let that familiar feeling of being a disappointment ruin those next weeks, so you would let that conversation for later, for when you could endure the harsh words without letting them slip into your mind like poison.

“Ok, just let her know you’re alive then, for fuck’s sake. Don’t be a dick.” You puffed, rolling your eyes to Seungkwan’s comment, but still did what he suggested, fishing your phone once again and turning it on. A message showed on your screen as soon as it was activated. 

Answer the damn phone. What do you mean you quit?! Without talking to us first? What is going on with you lately… [Tuesday, 10:19 p.m.]

You let a huge sigh come out, starting to type something almost immediately. Seungkwan and Raena watched you doing it in silence, just being there like they always were. 

I’m alive, well and busy. I’ll text you eventually to let you know if I’m ok, and I will go to your house when I come back from the trip I’m on right now for us to talk. Sorry about the mess. [Tuesday, 10:28 p.m.]

Your phone was tossed across the bed as soon as you sent it, and you tried getting up but an agonized moan left your throat at the same time you felt your arm failing you and aching terribly. “Ok, I’ll have to sleep here, I can’t get up.” You let yourself fall into Rae’s bed again, spreading your arms as slowly as you could to a position that wouldn’t harm them.

“No fucking way, what if Jessica sees you leaving my room and think we’re something?” Rae protested, and you couldn’t help but laugh. It was reassuring to have her and Seungkwan beside you, and you realized what a shitty friend you had been for the past years by not doing the same, not even once, because of a job you didn’t even like. That wouldn’t happen anymore, you were obstinate. 

“But we are something… We are besties.” You said with a huge pout on your face and in the cutest way you could, and Seungkwan whimpered, covering his mouth as if he was holding vomit. 

“Ugh, that was disgusting. How old do you fucking think you are to speak with that kind of voice?” He complained and Raena started laughing. You couldn’t help but laugh along with them. 

“My Boo can’t handle my baby voice? I can’t believe it.” He formed a fist with his hands by the side of his head and closed his eyes with a lot of strength, as if he was physically in pain because of the way you were speaking. If you could move you’d definitely hug him, but it wasn’t possible for you, so you just threw a kiss his way, making a tiny heart with your thumb and index finger. 

“Stop it. It’s scary.” The heart slowly turned into you giving him the middle finger. You couldn’t even explain how much you missed this, and while Seungkwan threatened to hit you - which he definitely would if he actually wanted to, you knew that -, you felt a silly smile appear in your face. 

“Thank you, guys.” You said suddenly, and both Rae and Seungkwan looked at you a bit confused. “For not giving up on me even when I had.”

chapter nine - pain killer

Some knocks on your door woke you up. You rolled in your bed, still trying to get used to the brightness that was consuming your room, but the knocks didn’t seem to stop. After a few seconds you recognized they were the rhythm to one of King Princess’ songs that Rae liked, making you assume that it could only be her. 

“I’m awake, stop knocking for fuck’s sake.” You muffled the words as loud as you were able to do with your morning voice, and the door knob turned slowly, as Raena put her head inside of your room with a cheeky smile on her face. You indicated with your head that she should come in and she promptly did, throwing herself on your bed and making you almost fall from it. 

“We’re going hiking. Do you want to go?” She asked you and you finally noticed her outfit. Rae was wearing leggings and a loose t-shirt with a drawing that you were pretty sure she made a few months back. You contemplated for a bit, but felt once again the muscle pain your wakeboarding experience had gifted you the previous day, and you simply denied it. 

“Nah, I don’t think I can move that much today… Maybe tomorrow?” You asked, and Rae agreed. Hiking was not your favorite activity, but it was definitely something you’d like to try in that beautiful landscape. “Who are you going with?” 

“Basically everybody, it’s on Seungkwan’s schedule, so anyone who’s not completely broken from yesterday is going.” She explained and you pouted, wishing you weren’t that sore. You didn’t regret wakeboarding, it was fun and you actually were pretty good at it, but you hoped that the pain would fade quickly so you could do all the other things Seungkwan had planned for those two weeks. 

“Hm.” You murmured, hugging her and closing your eyes once again, as if you were about to go back to sleep. “I’ll get up and eat something then…” There was nothing in your actions that indicated that you would actually get out of bed, and Raena simply flicked your forehead, making you open your eyes once again. 

“You should go to the pool, I heard it’s good to make muscular pain go away. Now let me go, get the fuck up and don’t over sleep.” She threw your arms away from her and got up from your bed quickly, and since you knew well the consequences to not do so, you obeyed her, sitting on it with your eyes still half open. You looked for your glasses, placing them on your face and finally getting up. “Bye, baby, I’ll be back before lunch!” Raena took leave and once again you found yourself alone in your room. 

Taking cold showers would always wake you up, and that time wasn’t any different. It didn’t take long for you to get out of your room and head to the kitchen. The lake complex was deserted, you couldn’t see a single soul walking aimlessly on your way to the main house, and when you got there things were equally silent and empty. You ate by yourself, taking your time and enjoying being alone as much as you could. 

After eating breakfast, you went straight to the pool. When getting ready, you put on your bikini and tons of sunscreen, intending to do as Rae said earlier, but you didn’t expect the sun to be so hot that day, and you regretted not taking your UV shirt with you. Afraid to get sunburned, you didn’t even take your clothes, just putting your feet inside the big pool and hoping the sun would give a truce eventually so that you could jump in. 

Getting back to your room to get your shirt was not an option. You knew yourself well enough to know that once you saw your bed you would give up on leaving it until somebody arrived, so you just stayed there, with your feet immersed and letting your head wander freely. 

“Where’s everybody?” Mingyu’s voice woke you from the trance you had entered without even noticing. His hair was a bit messy, he was wearing prescription glasses - which, by the way, you didn’t know he needed -, but still seemed to be well awake and was in swimming clothes. The white UV shirt he was with was different from the black one he wore the previous day, but his shorts were the same. He sat next to you, putting both of his feet inside the pool, almost mimicking your pose, and murmuring a complaint about the water being cold as soon as he did. 

“Everyone went hiking… I thought you did too?” You seemed confused, but he let a sound of understanding come out of his mouth along with a very dramatic expression as soon as he remembered Seungkwan’s schedule for the day. He swung his head from one side to the other, being quick to explain. 

“I just set one alarm today, so I ended up not waking up in time.” His phrase made a cheeky smile show up on your face, and Mingyu was the one to look at you confused that time. You giggled, staring at some waves that were being created by the soft movements you made with your feet. 

“You won yesterday, you could’ve set three… Are you that desperate to get into my good side, Kim Mingyu?” You teased him and could see him getting flustered more quickly than you anticipated. Seungcheol was right… It was fun teasing Mingyu.  

“No, I-” He started mumbling, which made his phrases come out more slurred than they usually would, almost making it sound like he was stuttering. “I didn’t do it because of you, I wouldn’t do that, I won yesterday. I did it because… Because I wanted to… Uhm… I wanted to see if I could wake up with just one, you know, alarm. I couldn’t, tomorrow I’m setting three, you’ll see.” You giggled, nodding your head. “Why are you here, then? Why didn’t you go hiking?” Mingyu asked, and you gave him a half-hearted smile.

“My whole body hurts. Because of wakeboarding… Rae told me I should get into the pool but I forgot my UV shirt and I’m pretty sure that if I leave this place I will not only sleep until noon, but also get scolded for not listening to her when she gets back.” You explained and he nodded in agreement, taking his feet off the pool and standing up right beside you. 

You observed him doing so, a bit startled by his sudden movement, and almost choked when realized what he was actually going to do. With his right arm, he pulled the back part of the collar of his shirt, taking it off swiftly in a very smooth and fast movement. You felt your body stiffen by the sight of his pecs and from how large you just realized he actually was. Even though you tried, you couldn’t get your eyes off of his tanned skin, and it was only when he threw the shirt your way that you actually looked at his face again. 

He was bearing a rather innocent smile and you felt like punching him in the face for it. “Wear mine, then. Let’s get into the pool.” He said nonchalantly, taking his glasses off and jumping right after that. You took your time, but soon enough threw yourself onto the pool. 

You held your breath to dive in, emerging with your hair completely soaked and a happy expression staggered across your face. It was, indeed, relaxing to be surrounded by that much water, and you weren’t able to enjoy this silly thing the day prior because you were too busy trying to learn how to wakeboard properly. Mingyu watched you quietly, keeping his distance without taking his eyes off you for even a split second. 

“Do you think the deep part of it is too deep? I kinda wanna swim there…” You asked him, and Mingyu finally seemed to be pulled back to reality. He shrugged, starting to walk to the other side of the pool, where it would gradually become deeper. 

“Let’s see.” He got to the deepest part of the pool with not much effort, still being able to stand on his feet without submerging even the slightest. “Seems ok to me! Try coming here!” Mingyu shouted and you started walking towards his direction happily. 

Before you could get to him, you got almost completely submerged, being obligated to push yourself up and start moving your arms so that you would float. “Ok my ass, I almost drowned!” You nagged and Mingyu laughed at you, approaching quickly. 

“Maybe you’re too short?” He asked with a teasing tone, and you swam forward, getting close enough to splash some water on him while still struggling to remain floating and not sink to the part that was definitely too deep for you. 

“Or maybe you’re just too tall, how about that? I’m tall enough.” You asked and he couldn’t help himself from smiling like an idiot while watching you making a big effort to seem stable when you clearly weren’t. You felt his grip on your waist not much long after, and with his two hands he held you up, making it consequently easy for you to remain there. 

His touch, however, provoked a strange feeling in your skin. It was a soft pressure, but everything about it electrified your body in an unnatural way, and his pretty smile only made it worse. You could feel every single inch of his hands while he sank his fingertips on your skin, and you got so distracted by it you almost didn’t realize he had pulled you closer, until you saw yourself nearer than you’d expected from his tanned skin and sharp teeth. 

“What are you doing?” You asked a bit flustered, but his grip never got looser. Instead, he ran his fingers a little bit further up the UV shirt, which was so big for you that it was practically floating with the exception of the parts on your arms, and pulled you even closer to his unclothed chest. 

“Keeping you from drowning…” His voice was two tones lower and quieter, and his eyes were burning onto yours. You felt your heart pounding on your chest when he reduced the distance between you two even more. He slowly shifted his gaze, almost as if any abrupt movement would startle you, and kept bypassing every inch of your face as he did so. You could almost feel the heat created by his intense stare as his eyes went down, stopping only when they reached your lips.

“Oh! You guys are here!” Even though Seokmin’s eyes were almost closed shut, he was wearing one of his bright smiles while he walked your way. Your hands went immediately to Mingyu’s shoulders, pushing them in a desperate movement to free yourself from his grip. Seokmin’s voice startled him enough to make it an easy movement for you, and once again you were flapping your arms to keep yourself with your head above the water level. “Where’s everybody else?” 

“Hm… They… Went hiking.” You answered, starting to swim to the edge of the pool, and griping one part of it. “Did you just wake up?” There was no trace of emotion on your face, and you were doing the utmost to keep it that way.

Mingyu, on the other hand, looked angry. Hell, he was enraged. What a shitty timing his dumb best friend had, for fucks sake. He glanced at you, but your eyes were fixed on Seokmin, who didn’t seem to notice that he had just meddled with something, unmindfully getting close to you and sitting next to where you were holding, dipping his feet on the water and smiling like he hadn’t just cockblocked you. 

“Um hum. I thought they would be back by now… Why didn’t you guys go? Am I… hindering something? Were you guys…”

“No. Not at all. You’re not… hindering anything. We were just together because we woke up a bit later like you. There’s nothing… Nothing would happen between us.” You mumbled, almost forgetting all of your speech abilities while you said things mostly to convince yourself, and not Seokmin. “Never.” You guaranteed, and Seokmin laughed loudly. 

“Oh, that’s true. You’re not Mingyu’s type, right?” He bantered, looking directly at his friend and sticking his tongue out to make sure he knew he was teasing him. The huge splash of water that Seokmin received, on the other hand, was not in his plans, and didn’t seem to be a joke at all. He looked shocked at Mingyu after getting hit, but his friend didn’t seem to be remorseful. 

“Honestly, how long will you guys hold that against me, and rub it into my face?” He retorted. You were too occupied trying not to laugh at the vision of Seokmin completely soaked trying to scoop the water from his arms with one of his hands to notice the seriousness of Mingyu's voice. He was already done with himself for rejecting you in the first place, but still people kept reminding him of the poorest decision of the past two years.

“I know I should be the most infuriated by it, but I actually find it funny. You should’ve known better before rejecting me, Kim Mingyu, you set yourself up for that one…” Deciding to join Seokmin was easier than trying to use your brain to do the math and figure out what Mingyu was going on about, so you just did it, seeing the man next to you smiling slyly and blinking your way. 

“Right? I mean look at you! Any man would be lucky to have you, and yet he called you uptight. Can you believe that?” He said it in the most boastful way he could, and Mingyu almost growled at him. 

“You called her uptight first!” Mingyu hollered and you just looked at Seokmin with the most heartbroken expression you could make yourself fake. He started trying to justify himself to you, but you just giggled, letting go of the pool edge and letting your body upthrust itself while you lay down into the water with your head looking up. 

“Oh look, that cloud looks like a cat!” You changed the subject abruptly, making them a bit confused at first. Mingyu tried floating in the pool like you just had, and Seokmin layed on the ground, never taking his feet off of the water. And just like that you lightened the mood, while the three of you kept pointing figures in the sky until the rest of everyone arrived back home. 

chapter ten - sour grapes

The day went by swiftly. After everyone else arrived from hiking, they all went straight to the pool, making Seungcheol almost lose his voice by screaming that they should at least hit the pool shower first and clean the sweat up a bit. Your hands got wrinkly sooner than everyone else's, and that made you leave the pool first, finding Mingyu still in his swimming trunks, cooking lunch like oil wouldn’t burn his naked torso if it hit him the wrong way. 

Deciding to leave the kitchen and find your friends was hard - you definitely could spend ages just watching Mingyu being domestic like that… and shirtless -, but watching Rae missing every single cue Jessica would give her to flirt was way harder. You and Seungkwan were almost permanently binding your eyes on the back of their orbs from all the eye-rolling you kept doing. 

Raena was a phenomenal flirt. If there was a cure to heterossexuality, Rae was it, as she had countless times made girls question their sexuality just by making a friendly comment in a deeper tone than usual. That was, of course, when she wasn’t truly interested. She’d lose all her social skills on the sight of someone who’d make her heart flutter, and from the looks of it, Rae’s heart was about to bounce out of her chest because of Jessica. 

It was nice spending time with them. Rae and Seungkwan. You’d also noticed how close Vernon and Seungkwan were on that trip. Vernon seemed to be very lonely most of the time, or independent, however you’d like to call it, but Seungkwan matched him perfectly in every way. It was like Seungkwan was always bringing Vernon’s best side out, and in exchange you could see how devoted Vernon was to him. It was a beautiful friendship, and you almost felt jealous about it. 

“The Singing Boo. The one where I sing so many ballads they stop meaning anything to you but you still have to clap” arrived in no time. Seungkwan had really thought about every single thing, and you happily complied with all the activities - with the exception of the hike, of course - and the karaoke night wouldn’t be an exception. 

Karaoke night was fun. You came to learn that Seungkwan was not the only good singer amongst all the people surrounding you, and you were almost sure you saw Robin cry when he and Seokmin decided to sing a duo. Regardless of all the fun you were having, when Raena started typing Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley on the machine, you knew it was time for you to leave. Things were about to be ugly. 

Seungkwan was somewhere with Vernon, and most of the people had already left the area declaring it was too late. Two bottles of vodka were emptied on the counter and Rae was holding the microphone in such a familiar drunken-state way that you felt chills all over your body. That would be bad. Like really bad. You looked around, seeing that Jessica was nowhere to be found and a sigh of relief left your mouth. 

“What’s up?” Seungcheol whispered, probably louder than he intended because of his inebriated state. You bit your lower lip, being unable to think straight yourself, so you just decided to act on your instincts. 

“We should get the fuck out of here. Things are about to be ugly…” You said, tilting your head slightly towards Rae’s direction. Seungcheol watched as she kept trying to write Presley while missing so many letters that the machine wouldn’t recognize the name. “When she’s drunk she thinks she can sing… She cannot.”

“Is it that bad?” He asked you. Your eyes were slanted, almost making a thin line, but his almond eyes were completely opened. His face didn’t deny his intoxication whatsoever, since a silly smile was almost stuck on it. It wouldn’t budge a bit, only growing larger at some of Jeonghan’s phrases and jokes, and then immediately going back to the silly gummy smile. 

“Yes. We must run when there’s still time. She just typed the ‘Pre’ of Presley, we will be doomed in no time.” He giggled because of your phrase and the worried look it carried with it, getting up and reaching out his hand to yours, helping you get up from the couch and starting to slowly get out. 

“Are you already leaving? I was about to start singing.” Unfortunately you weren’t as stealthy as you thought you were, being caught red handed by Rae, who made all the remaining people look your way. “Wait… Are you leaving… together?” Her tone changed and you suddenly dropped Seungcheol’s hand, waving your head from one side to the other. “Ok, I’m singing Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On… can someone for fucks sake put it on for me? I can’t type in this little control with my big ass fingers.” 

“That’s not…” You tried explaining that she misunderstood the situation, but seeing her willingly telling you to get the fuck out of there while Robin was typing - way better than her - the song she’d just decided on singing, you thought it was best to leave it at that. You looked around. The only ones left there were you, Minghao, Soonyoung - who was passed out on Jeonghan’s lap -, Robin, Rae, Seungcheol and you. None of them would misunderstand the situation apart from Rae, and maybe Robin, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed, so you held Seungcheol’s hand once again and left the building without even looking behind. 

Rae’s screechy voice was loud enough for you to listen even when you left the main house, and seeing Seungcheol turn his gaze to you in complete shock made you burst into laughter. “Let’s not let her sing tomorrow. Or ever.” He declared and you nodded, saying goodbye to him and walking straight to your room. 

The following morning consisted basically of you babysitting Rae while she threw her intestines up and promised not to drink at all that day. Which, of course, wouldn’t happen, because today’s schedule for the night was “Blame It on the (Boo)ze. The one where I get you all fucked up.” As you expected, at seven o’clock sharp - the exact minute Boo Seungkwan had planned to start the Blame It On The (Boo)ze night -, your best friend was holding a red cup while Seungkwan filled it with beer. 

Games started in no time. You all sat on the ground, making what should be a small circle but ended up being a huge one because of the amount of people that were in that place. The first game that was suggested was Mafia, and the rule was that the team who loses should take a shot. Vernon volunteered to pick the roles and everybody seemed to be okay with that.

“I honestly wasn’t planning on having them both here for this… I think I set myself up with this schedule…” Seungkwan mentioned to Rae while they both watched you and Seungcheol bicker about who was the Mafia. 

“Listen, you little shit, don’t you think I would’ve covered for Joshua the last round if I was the mafia?” The way you grabbed his shirt and pulled Seungcheol closer made Seungkwan squat down, watching closely the - and he hated to admit that - most exciting mafia game he had ever participated in. It sucked that he was killed in the first rounds, but watching you play that game like your life was depending on it was great. “Much like goddamn Seokmin did… Are you dumb?” 

“I’m not dumb. I’m smart enough not to trust you, that’s it.” He lashed back and you ran your hand through your hair, pulling it back and breathing deeply. “But… I will trust you with this.” He declared, starting the voting by choosing Seokmin to be arrested.

Mingyu was, once again, livid. He was clutching onto his beer cup with so much strength that anyone could see it was empty, or at least anyone who would take their eyes off of the game that was unraveling in that seemingless small place and paid attention to the coolers where the alcohol - and Kim Mingyu - were. As soon as he was killed, Wonwoo approached to fill his cup, shifting his gaze from Mingyu to you, to Cheol and back to the tallest one. 

“Do you really think enemies to lovers is the best trope?” Mingyu’s eyes didn’t flinch for a second, and Wonwoo almost didn’t realize that his friend was actually talking to him, and not to anyone else. Wonwoo filled his cup slowly, waiting for Kim Mingyu to run out of patience, just because it was always a bit fun teasing him. “Wonwoo. Do you think enemies to lovers is the best fanfiction trope?”

“Book. Book trope.” Wonwoo corrected him, as if Mingyu hadn’t seen him giggling like a fifteen year old at his iPad many nights during what they used to call “boys night” - which was basically an excuse for Wonwoo to play video games at Mingyu’s house without his parents nagging about it. His eyes finally left you and Seungcheol, meeting Wonwoo’s, and the older one just shrugged. “I mean, it’s one of the best ones. I’d say enemies to lovers and friends to lovers are top notch. Book tropes.” He repeated himself, and saw Mingyu dismiss his last comment with a silly smile on his face. 

“Friends to lovers, huh?” Mingyu sneered, letting a smirk appear on his face. Wonwoo finished pouring his beer and saw Mingyu hanging his cup in front of him, asking with a light expression for Wonwoo to fill his too. That was the reason Mingyu got up in the first place, anyway, he was just too consumed by the game to do anything other than observe everyone playing. Everyone.

“You lost that one, buddy. Robin told me that she and Seungcheol left the main house together yesterday while Rae sang - terribly - Let’s Get It On… Maybe next time?” Wonwoo smiled faintly when he saw Mingyu’s expression turn into complete despair. It was only for a split second, though, and suddenly Mingyu smiled sheepishly again. 

“Lost what? I don’t know what you are talking about. It was just a small interest, but I won’t suffer because of it. I hope they are happy. Hope they date eventually. Oh, can you imagine? Those two together? Like… Can you? Seriously Wonwoo, can you? I can. I can imagine them dating. Oh, I hope they date. I hope they’ll invite me to the wedding.” Mingyu started babbling, slurring every single word that came out of his mouth, making Wonwoo hold a small laughter that was trying hard to come out of his mouth. 

He was fine, though. Mingyu was fine. It was just a small crush, and since you were such a pretty girl, he’d be happy to see you with his friend. Good for him. Good for Cheol. “Good for him.” The words came out faster than his filter acted, and Wonwoo finally let the giggle escape. Mingyu kept repeating the words “it was just a crush” to himself, as he chugged down the entire cup Wonwoo had just poured for him.  

When the cup was empty, he allowed himself to check up on the game once again, and Wonwoo watched amusingly his friend crush the red cup completely as he saw Seungcheol hold you tightly, raising you in celebration for your win. It’s. Just. A. Crush. 

“Hey, the game's over. What are you guys talking about?” Robin asked, still sitting in the pseudo-circle that was half empty now that many people were scattered around the room intending to fill their cups before the next game. Wonwoo pulled Mingyu, sitting next to her. 

“Our favorite book tropes.” He declared loudly. “Yours is ‘enemies to lovers’ as well, right, Robin?” She nodded and Wonwoo smiled innocently. “How about yours, guys?” He threw the question to the other side of the circle, where you, Seungcheol, Seungkwan, Rae and Vernon were sitting.

“There was only one bed!” Rae cheered and you clapped your hands agreeing with her. That didn’t make Wonwoo let you off the hook just yet, and he turned to you right after that. “How about you?”

“Hm…Book? Enemies to Lovers is nice...” You answered and Mingyu seemed to be getting more annoyed by the minute. “But fanfiction is definitely Friends to Lovers. I mean, in real life I like friends to lovers better, so when it’s a book I’m OK with enemies to lovers, but when I try to bring it to the real world it just…” Trying to explain your train of thought was harder than you expected it to be, but Wonwoo’s eyes were glowing as he nodded, making you feel seen and heard. 

“I hate Friends to Lovers.” Seungkwan uttered, chugging his beer down. “It’s dumb to ruin years of friendship because of feelings that can eventually pass. I wouldn’t go there. It’s dumb.” You and Rae shared a look, feeling a small tension appear with his answer. “There was only one bed is the best, though. The only correct answer, I’d say” He finished, and the tension vanished in an instant. 

Vernon stood up without giving a proper answer, saying that he was already tired and, like many other days, he’d leave first by himself. The night continued on, and the drunker you all got, the funnier all the games started to become, and the less you all wanted to get out of that room.

chapter eleven - testing waters

Looking around the room, you decided that it was the best time to ditch on movie night. Block(boo)ster. The one where you can’t sleep afterwards seemed very exciting at first. Seungkwan told you that it would be a horror film marathon, and you were expecting to see the most recent releases that you missed due to working. Disappointment kicked in when you saw that the movie was Insidious.

Not that it wasn’t a good movie - that was not the case, you actually liked it very much on your first time seeing it -, but you never had the patience to watch any movie more than once. Knowing how it ended just always made it seem boring to you, and you thought you could use your time doing something better than watching the same movie twice. That was why you silently left the room in the first ten minutes of it, hoping that Seungkwan would be too scared to notice your absence when the marathon finally ended.

Part of you wanted to stay because you saw Jessica asking Soonyoung to change places with her, sitting right next to your best friend - and most clingy person watching horror films-, Raena, but thinking about sitting in front of that low screen for two hours watching a family being tormented by the ugliest demon you’d ever seen made you give up on that idea. Minghao had just screamed in an - successful - attempt of scaring Seokmin, and you took that opportunity to get out of there unnoticed. 

It was a chill and cloudless night, the sky looked beautiful and the moon was shining so bright that its reflection could be seen perfectly in the lake. You wondered if you were still able to capture such a beautiful image through any lenses, since it had been so long since you’ve taken pictures of anything other than a pile of papers to send Rae and tell her you were “too busy”.

The moon was almost full, yet not completely, but its reflection seemed to be whole. There was some similarity between the two of you, you couldn’t help but notice, or maybe you just had too much free time on your hands now and could let such silly thoughts cross your mind. On your way to your room, you thought about how you could capture exactly how you felt with the picture you decided on taking. 

To anyone who wasn’t close enough, you did seem to be fulfilled. Just like the turbid waters of the lake masked the missing piece of what soon would become a full moon, the idealization of your parents and their expectations over you clouded completing that missing strip that actually made you shine completely. 

This is dumb. The rational part of you kept nagging, but that didn’t stop you to turn on your phone - the only camera you had available at the moment - and run to your porch, trying to capture your feelings and make them somewhat palpable. 

“Nice picture.” Mingyu’s voice startled you. You were so exhilarated and consumed by the feeling of finding a spot worth taking a picture that you didn’t notice his presence on the balcony next to yours. To be fair, he was sitting down, so it wasn’t an easy task to spot him right away. He, on the other hand, could perfectly see you deleting all the notifications of your phone and opening the camera app, skilfully climbing up the rail and finding the best angle for the shot. 

“Motherfucker.” You cursed, almost dropping your phone, and then you simply glared at Mingyu, who had an indistinguishable expression. “You scared the shit out of me.” While climbing down, you explained, and then went to the far end of your balcony, eyeing inside of his and trying to see what he was up to. 

There was tons of eraser dust all over his porch, and he was holding a pencil with an odd grip. It was between his thumb and his index finger, and he held it underhand. A paper was laying in front of him, with a bunch of lines that - from that distance - you couldn’t tell exactly what they were meant to be. At last, you saw two Bacardi bottles, which you soon realized must’ve been the two bottles missing from the kitchen. The ones that Seungkwan was desperately trying to convince himself he didn’t put on the coolers the previous night and should definitely be there.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be screaming and using the movie as an excuse to hold Seungcheol’s hands?” His tone was bitter, but he looked adorable while nagging like that. You were not dumb, even though sometimes you were a bit clueless, but since the pool incident you’ve been pretty sure that Mingyu’s previous disinterest in you might’ve changed. 

You also weren’t one hundred percent confident that he was interested. Being that Seokmin told you about how Mingyu flirted as a method of communication, you couldn’t be totally sure that he wasn’t just being nice. What was left for you was to test the waters. You had no clue what the fuck he was talking about that time, but playing along had always been your strong suit. 

“I hate watching the same movie twice. How about you? Why aren’t you there?” You leaned on the rail, facing his balcony this time and not the lake, and watched him - with a small pout on his face - go back to the drawing he was making before answering your question. 

“I’m scared of horror movies. Can’t sleep for days if I watch any… So I just grabbed some alcohol and came here while you all had fun there.” The knuckles of his ring and pinky fingers were sliding gently across the paper as he drew steady lines all over the page. Mingyu was doing it in such a natural way it almost made it seem easy, but you were well aware it wasn’t. 

“How can you be so straightforward about that?” You giggled a bit, making him raise his head to look you in the eyes. He was a bit confused about your phrase, so you just continued talking. “The whole being a scaredy cat thing.”

“Ah…” He came back to his drawing once again. “Because it’s true… What would lying about it accomplish besides me being potentially placed in uncomfortable situations? There’s no point in that. Why? Does that bother you? Do you find it weird?” His lips were pursed and he was shifting his gaze from the drawing to you, turning them back to the drawing when it would meet yours. 

“Nah, I find it cute. Can I join you?” Mingyu was baffled once again by how nonchalantly you’d say things, but he just nodded, putting the notebook and his pencil down in order to open the door for you. It wasn’t necessary whatsoever, as you climbed the rail, jumping daintily and landing on his balcony. 

“Are you nuts?” He stood up quickly, rushing to catch you, but it was not necessary. Mingyu simply couldn’t believe how dauntless you could be sometimes, and that deeply made him regret calling you uptight in your first meeting. If only he hadn’t, maybe you wouldn’t be with Seungcheol now. Not that it mattered to him. It didn’t. 

“It’s not far, Gyu, I’m ok.” You tried to calm him down, and he was quick to do so since you were well and standing on his balcony. “What are you drawing?” Mingyu sat down on the floor, a bit further to the left than he was before, and, indicating his right side to you with his head, where you promptly seated. 

“Can you see how the moon seems to be a full moon when you look at its reflection, but it’s actually waxing? I was trying to draw that, but from this perspective right here.” He said the words while he showed you his drawing, pointing out every single aspect of it while he talked about them, and you couldn’t help but to let a smile appear on your face. Just like that he made you feel less stupid, even though you were absolutely sure that it was not his intention. “What’s that smile about?” 

“You’re impressive.” You said simply. “This is the most beautiful drawing I’ve ever seen.” When you glued your eyes to him after saying those very truthful words, you could see his pink-stained cheeks and his small fangs showing in a shy smile. Mingyu couldn’t help but to smile at those words. His heart was fluttering inside his chest and your glimmering eyes, shining because of his drawing, only made it worse. 

He cleared his throat when he realized he had been staring at you - who was still looking at his drawing - for way too long, dropping the first question that popped into his head: “D-do you… want to drink? I brought Bacardi with me.” 

“Sure.” You answered, giving him his notebook back and watching his big hands groping the floor looking for the booze. He opened one of the bottles dexterously, completely breaking the clumsy image you had of him in your head, but then he started scanning the place, coming to a realization. “Uh… I forgot to bring any glass…” 

You took the bottle off of his hands, purposefully brushing your hand against his when you did so in order to see his reaction, and just tipped the bottle inside your mouth, drinking what you thought was enough for that moment. Mingyu was stunned, blinking slowly as he watched you do so. 

“Who needs glasses, right?” You commented, handing him the bottle, and still with a  shocked expression he did the same as you, chugging a bit of bacardi and immediately grimacing because of the taste of the alcohol. You giggled at his expression, and took the bottle again, drinking a bit more. “Why were you so sulky today? Did anything happen?” 

Mingyu gulped at your question. Once again he felt a small annoyance inside his chest, but he just dismissed it, smiling teasingly at you. “I wasn’t sulky. I just wasn’t in a post-sex good mood like you were.” His words were meant to sting, but he was caught completely off guard by your loud giggle. 

“Dude, we all drank our asses off yesterday and passed out in the main house. We were both in the same ‘no-sex-no-fun-just-hangover’ mood.” It was his time to take the bottle out of your hands and tip it over. His mouth turned into a pout and he compressed his eyes in a sulky expression. 

“You know what I mean. I mean you and Seungcheol…” His voice was low and the pout in his lips made it seem like the words were being said by a child. Mingyu was fucking adorable. “Wonwoo told me. About the karaoke night. You don’t have to hide it…” He forced a smile, but his eyes were still compressed, making the smile look completely fake. “... I’m happy for you guys. Really. You are my friends.” 

“Ah, you mean me and Seungcheol escaping Rae’s terrible singing skills by letting her drunk self believe we were going out to hook up, when in fact we just parted ways on the door and went to our rooms because we’re not interested in each other like that? Are you talking about this?” 

Just like that, Mingyu felt happiness invading his body once again. “Fuck you, Wonwoo, ‘maybe next time’ my ass, it was this time!” His dumb ass friend understood it entirely wrong and made Mingyu worry for absolutely nothing. No. Not worry. Be happy for them. That was what Mingyu was, of course. Happy. But now he was happy for himself, so the happiness could only be bigger, right? “Oh… So you guys are not…” 

“Hell no. That man sucks at mafia games, I could never do that to myself.” Mingyu grinned widely, laughing at your joke and passing the bottle to you after sipping the bacardi himself. “You look in a good mood now, Kim Mingyu. It can’t be… Were you jealous?” You queried amusingly, and Mingyu panicked. 

“No. Of course not. Alcohol just kicked in. That’s all.” He did the same thing he always did when he wasn’t being completely honest: his words were coming out way more slurred than usual, and his lower lip was suffering from repeated small bites. Yes. That man was into you. That time you knew for sure. Regardless of that, you wouldn’t hit on him for the second time. If he actually was into you, he should at least make up for the whole “dumping you” situation by making the first move this time. 

“I’m glad not. Can you imagine if you actually were into me?” You teased him once again. Just because you weren’t actively hitting on him it didn’t mean you couldn’t have a bit of fun with the whole situation, and Kim Mingyu being completely flustered was actually pretty fun. “That would mean that I couldn’t ever get close to you like this without making your heart flutter. That would be a bummer.” You said the words while diminishing the distance between you two. His breathing was heavy, and the innocent smile you were bearing was almost making him go crazy. 

“Or whisper in your ear how hot I think you are. That would probably make you shiver, but I’m glad to know that it won’t.” Once again you acted your words out, seeing the chill you provoked emerging from the nape of his neck, and getting lost inside the shirt he was wearing. 

“But since I’m not your type at all…” Your face was inches from his, and you smiled brightly and innocently, watching him glare at you, completely speechless and almost hypnotized by your every move. “I can look this closely to your eyes without fretting even a bit.” You felt Mingyu tilting his body towards you and, not even a second later, he started closing his eyes and tracing his way to you.

“How exciting, right?” And just like that, you abruptly moved away, planning on taking the Bacardi from his hands and drinking a bit more. 

Pulling away wasn’t as easy as you imagined it would be. Mingyu’s hands instinctively grabbed your waist, trying to prevent you from going any further, but before he could even process what he had just done, your phone started ringing.

Quickly the sly smile you had on your face fell flat, turning into a frown as you read that forsaken name once again on your cell phone screen. 

Mr. Ludovich

mobile

chapter twelve - full moon full me

The power that the slight mention of that name had over you should be studied, because just reading it on your phone screen already made your good mood completely ruined, and you hadn’t even realized that you were not working for him anymore. You sighed, thinking how could that man always disturb you when you were having fun, but then it hit you: you quit. 

No matter how instinctive it was for you to simply take the call and have your night ruined, you didn’t need to do that anymore. While analyzing your face, Mingyu could almost see the engines of your brain turning as you blank stared at your phone, which kept ringing non stop. 

“Aren’t you gonna get that?” He asked. You both were still pretty close, since his hands kept you from pulling away any further, but he started loosening his grip, keeping them away from your body, but not far from it. 

“Not picking this up would be stupid…” Your gaze was locked on the screen. The call ended, but no more than three seconds later your phone lit up again, with that same enerving name popping up instantly. Mingyu wasn’t sure how to proceed, you didn’t seem to want to pick that up, but something was keeping you from simply declining it. 

“You told me a few days ago that just because something is stupid, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Is this one just stupid or also wrong?” He inquired and you started processing again, rationalizing it. 

What reasons could there be for this asshole to call you on a Friday night at eight o’clock? He could be drunk, that had happened once, but if that was the case it wouldn’t be neither stupid nor wrong to deny his call. He could have regretted his words, and was now calling to beg for you to come back. If that was the case, not picking up would be stupid, since you’d be missing an opportunity to have your job back, but it wasn’t wrong. 

“Stupid is usually more fun…” The words left your mouth unintended, but Mingyu nodded. You raised your index finger, hovering it over the decline button, but once again the phone stopped ringing before you could make the decision to decline the call by yourself. A bitter taste of disappointment started to flourish in your mouth, but it didn’t take long, since a few seconds later your phone started ringing again. 

An excited smile showed up on your face, and Mingyu kept watching you, intrigued by what on earth that was about. You sank your finger on the screen of your phone, pressing the red button as hard as you could, and then you finally glanced a Mingyu, smiling so brightly that it made him think that, even though it was stupid - he wasn’t even sure about that part -, it couldn’t possibly be wrong, seeing you smile like that. “Should we open the other bottle?” 

‘Y-yeah. Sure.” He stuttered a bit, but his hands went to the still closed bottle of bacardi and he opened it once again very skillfully, drinking a bit and then tossing it your way with a small wink. “Who was that?” Mingyu asked, noticing that the alcohol had started kicking in. His filter was already a bit broken while not under the influence, but when he started getting drunk it simply vanished, and every thought was rapidly verbalized. 

“My boss.” You answered, and watching Mingyu’s slanted eyes almost turning into balls with how much he had opened them in shock, you nodded, explaining it: “Not boss. Not anymore. My Ex-Boss.”

"XBox?" He asked, fully aware of what you had just said, but hoping that with that silly joke he could’ve got a glimpse of your smile once again. You looked at him dead serious, but seeing him childishly smiling, biting his lower lip completely and covering it with his sharp teeth, you couldn’t help but to giggle. Mingyu realized that that had got to be Mingyu’s favorite sound in the entire world, and he would make any effort necessary to listen to it as much as he could, even though it meant making a fool out of himself constantly. Your eyes were already small because you were also a bit inebriated, and that laugh made you close them completely.

“Stop making me laugh. I can’t see when I’m laughing.” You whined and it was Mingyu’s turn to burst into laughter. His hand went straight to your glasses, and he softly took them off your face, repeating the same movement to take off his own glasses. 

“There. Now neither of us can see. We’re even.” He had a presumptuous smile on his face, and you simply laughed again. Murmuring something amongst the lines of “you’re so stupid” before drinking a bit more and handing the bottle back to Kim Mingyu. 

“Can I ask you something?” After a few minutes in silence, you decided to speak up once more, calling Mingyu’s attention almost instantly. He nodded and you mimicked his movements. “Why did you want to draw that?” Your hand pointed to the notebook that had been tossed to the side since you both started drinking. Mingyu looked at it, squinting a bit to check the drawing and turning his eyes back to you.

“How can I put this…” He adjusted his posture, tilting his body slightly so that he could face you directly. “I don’t usually draw that. Landscapes and stuff like that. My drawings are usually more abstract.” You nodded, indicating that you were understanding what he was saying. “But it’s also the way I can express myself, and… I swear this is not drunk talk.” He warned and you giggled.

“Yes, yes… Go on. I’m not thinking that it is the booze who’s talking… Go on. It’s nice watching you talk about this, your eyes glisten.” You insisted for him to continue, and so he did. Sliding a little bit closer to you as he would say the next few words. 

“I kinda saw myself in that situation. The moon not being full and the lake making it seem like it was, that situation. Not now me, though. Now me is full… of alcohol, but full.” You smiled at him. It was comforting to know that you hadn’t been the only one to think that. Maybe you weren’t as lonely as you thought after all. “Are you… full?” 

“Of alcohol, yes.” You answered amusingly and he giggled. It was cute seeing him laugh at - in a sense - his own lame joke. “What made you feel like you weren’t?” 

“Let’s just say that I could never tell the difference between just stupid and plain wrong by myself, and that caused me to… Do some very wrong things before I actually found what I liked.” He was quick to confess and you nodded. 

“Well, if you ever have that doubt again you can just… knock on my door. Ok?” You didn’t notice, but you also moved a bit closer to him during the conversation. Mingyu raised his pinky finger, holding it in front of you with a sweet smile on his face. 

“I’ll knock on yours if you knock on mine.” He said simply, and you agreed, raising your own finger and intertwining it with his. Mingyu smiled brightly, letting both of your hands fall without him ever letting go of your finger. “Can I ask you something?” Your head moved up and down, agreeingly, and he pointed with his free hand to your collarbone. “What’s up with the snake tattoos? I saw you have at least two.”

“Oh, so you were staring at my legs? Is that it?” His ears started getting red, along with his red-tinted cheeks, and you let a giggle escape. “Seriously, you shouldn’t let making you get flustered be that fun, Kim Mingyu. I keep wanting to mess with you every single time.” His gaze shifted completely, and a seemingly dangerous smirk appeared on his face, so you just decided to do what you were best at: not engage and stand your position while playing dumb. Answering his question was easy: 

“I like snakes. You know how there is always that weird kid that is way too much into dinosaurs, or… or astronomy, or maybe…” 

“Tigers.” He blurted, watching you look confused to him as soon as he said it. “Soonyoung. Soonyoung is obsessed with tigers. His dance studio name is Hoshi, “Eyes of the Tiger’”. 

“Yes, kind of like that. I was like that with snakes. My cousin had a pet snake and I got so obsessed over it I memorized different species. When Rae asked me if she could tattoo a snake on me I got so excited I almost cried.” Alcohol made you awfully truthful, maybe a bit of an oversharer, but Mingyu didn’t seem to be bothered with all your jabbering. 

“What’s your favorite snake, then?” His hand made its way to your collarbone, softly sliding his fingers bypassing the tattoo. You tilted your head slightly to the right, welcoming his gentle touch, and thinking a bit before answering his question. 

“I think Epicrates cenchria. Their skin is iridescent, like…Their scales have some different ridges that end up refracting light and creating this beautiful pattern. They’re called Rainbow Boas because of it.” 

“What a nerd.” He joked, receiving a nice friendly punch on his arm and a middle finger raised in his direction. “I’m joking, it’s cute watching you talk like that, especially because I can tell you’re drunk just by the way you pronounced iridescent just now.” You stuck your tongue out, making him laugh once again, and you followed him in no time, giggling alongside. 

You both kept talking about the smallest and silliest things your drunken brains would come up with, and it all felt so comfortable that it was only when the first rays of sun started emerging in the horizon that you noticed how long you’d been there. 

“Fuck. What’s the morning schedule?” You blurted as soon as you realized how late it was, and Mingyu ran inside his room, getting the sheet of paper and giving it to you. After putting your glasses on, you started scanning the page, feeling a huge relief when you saw that - because of the Happy BooDay. The one where we celebrate my life. - the morning was marked as “sleep tight cause we’ll be up all night” on the schedule. You gave the good news to Mingyu, getting up and climbing the rail once again to go back to your own balcony. 

“You can just… use the door, you know?” He commented and you just shimmid your head from one side to the other. 

“No. It’s already daytime, someone could see me leaving your room and misunderstand something. I figured that happens often here.” You gave him a sassy look and he pressed both of his lips against each other, closing his eyes lightly. Before you got inside your room, he called your name. He was still standing in the same position, but his expression almost caused chills all over your body. With a sheepish smile he uttered words that for sure would keep you awake for a little longer:

“If you want, you can use the door next time.”

chapter thirteen - secret mission

“Close the door behind you!” Seungkwan whispered as soon as you walked into his room, finding him, Seungcheol and Minghao all sitting in a semicircle on top of his king sized bed. You squinted, still unsure what that was about. Seungkwan had knocked on your door a few minutes prior, calling an emergency meeting, and telling you to go by yourself to his bedroom. To your surprise, Rae wasn’t there, nor was Vernon, and it all seemed a bit odd. 

As soon as you sat down next to Minghao, someone knocked on the door again. Robin slid her tiny figure inside the room while Seungkwan whispered once again to shut the door, and indicated his bed for her to sit on, almost like he was a robot or an NPC, giving the same instructions over and over again. 

“What’s this about?” You asked Minghao. Your head was hurting a bit, but your hangover wasn’t even half as bad as what you thought it would be, so you couldn’t help but to feel a little victorious. The black-haired man looked at you, seeming as clueless as you were, and just shrugged a bit before talking. His glasses were so low on his nose you couldn’t help but to ask yourself if he actually used them to see or was just a stylish choice, and his mullet was a bit messy, but still looked good enough to be on the cover of any magazine.

“I have no fucking clue, he just knocked on my door and told me to come.” Seungcheol nodded, showing that he was paying attention to the conversation and also had no idea what on earth he was doing in Seungkwan’s room at that moment. When Robin finally sat down, the blond man turned his room key, locking the door, and then returned to his spot. 

“Ok. So I gathered you all here today with a mission.” He started talking and you couldn’t help but to giggle a bit. You loved him so fucking much that you were sure you’d do whatever nonsense this was about. Hell, you’d do anything Seungkwan asked of you in a heartbeat, he was too adorable for you to deny him of anything. “Keeping Raena away from the microphone.” 

“Oh god, I’m in.” Minghao declared, not needing more words than that to agree with this “mission”. He was in physical pain listening to her singing, completely drunk, to Marvin Gaye’s song on karaoke night, and if he had to stand that torture again, he wasn’t sure if he’d be alive afterwards. The problem wasn’t that she was a bad singer, no one is obligated to keep a tune, but her drunk self was absolutely sure she was the next Beyonce, and that ended up making it unbearable to watch. 

“Why? I liked her singing last time.” Robin commented, and every single person on that circle looked at her completely baffled. 

“Oh, shut up, you probably were too drunk to notice.” Seungkwan nagged and you and Cheol laughed at his angry tone. He was pouting a bit and his eyebrows were puckered, and, with just that as an indicator, you knew he was one hundred percent serious. “Anyway, today is my birthday party and I’d like to spend a lot of time with my friends, and that won’t be possible if Rae kicks everyone out with her lack of skill.” 

“Jessica should be in this meeting…” You commented, and Seungkwan opened his mouth wide, as if he had just realized he’d forgotten the most important thing he had to do. “I don’t think I’m able to stop drunk Raena, last time I tried, she cried, and then I cried along… Suddenly we ended up singing this trashy song about friendship.” 

Seungkwan trembled with the memory, remembering exactly what day that was. “Yes. Yes. I will… No. Seungcheol will talk to Jessica.” He declared. Making Cheol pout and furrow his eyebrows in response. 

“Why me?” The oldest person in that room whined like a child and you just felt glad that Seungkwan hadn’t delegated that task to you, since Raena would probably take it as a treason if she ever found out and, knowing her like you did, she would - eventually - find out this masterplan. 

“Because I have shit to do. And you’re the closest to Jessica amongst us all.” He rationalized and Seungcheol couldn’t help but to agree. He was right, after all. You all promised Seungkwan that you’d try your best to keep Rae away from the microphone after her third dose of liquor, and he soon dismissed you, telling you that it was time to get ready for the party. 

Shortly you were all meeting each other again at the lounge of the pier, which was filled with party decorations, a bunch of food spreaded around, alcohol on basically every single table and a happy Seungkwan, smiling brightly at what he had accomplished. He didn’t let any of you help with the decorations, insisting that “it should be a surprise”, so you didn’t expect it to be this well put together. It was foolish of you, anyway, Seungkwan had never done anything half-heartedly. 

Party started in no time, and to the sound of Seungkwan’s party playlist you all started dancing, drinking and having fun. Next thing you know, you were with your arms wrapped around your best friend at midnight, wishing him a happy birthday and trying to pull him to the side to give him his gift. You were a bit drunk, but not as much as he was, and you loved to see his silly smile and scrunched red-tinted nose. 

“Ok, this is just… a little thing. I bought it in town. Your real gift is at home, ok? I was gonna give it to you when you came back.” You kept handing him over the little package you had in your hands, but pulling it back while warning him about that. Seungkwan was about to run out of patience, so he just spreaded his hand, demanding you to give it to him already. 

“I know I’ll like it anyway. Don’t worry about it and just give it to me, please.” He was pouty, and as soon as the package was delivered into his hands, he kissed you on the cheek, grinning brightly and starting to open the gift.

Inside the package, he found a hand-made bead bracelet, with white and transparent beads shaping the circle, and being closed by a small tangerine ornament that was delicate and yet beautiful - at least to Seungkwan at that moment. “Hm… So, since I always feel home when I’m with you, I made this for you to always remember your home when you think of me too.” You said timidly.

You felt something wet on your shirt when he pulled you in for a hug, and as soon as he sniffled you knew he was crying. His grip was tight around you and between some sniffles and sights you heard him say a few words that almost made you tear up alongside. “Thank you for coming this time, it would be so empty without you.” 

How could you ever consider not going? What the fuck was going through your mind for being such a terrible friend, for staying away for so long, for changing so drastically thinking that it wouldn’t impact the people around you just as much as it did to you? The fact that you wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for Seungkwan shaking you into reality once again didn’t have to be mentioned. As soon as you looked into his eyes he shook his head, and you could almost hear his intentions in your head: I know I helped. But you chose to quit yourself. 

Being an adult could be very lonely most of the time. You constantly regretted so many things you’ve done, but yet the burden of the consequences were always something you had to carry by yourself. Oddly, Seungkwan never let you feel like you were alone, it always seemed like he was carrying that weight with you, but if you looked closely he wasn’t. Just like your father used to guarantee you that he was holding tight onto the saddle of your bike when you were first learning to ride it, Seungkwan would always make you feel safe enough to defy yourself, learn and do new things. If you paid close attention, he was just running beside you, ready to sustain you if you ever needed him to, but letting you have the glory of conquest by yourself. 

Before you could say anything else, some cold hands took Seungkwan off of your arms, holding him while he screamed a happy birthday. Seokmin was drunk as fuck, and you were sure of it when he saw Seungkwan’s tears marks and started crying himself. You decided it was time for you to step away, since Joshua had told you earlier that Seokmin could be a very clingy drunk, and you didn’t want to be dragged into a group hug just yet. 

Soon there was a crowd of people around your best friend, and you were quick to see Raena slowly walking towards the karaoke machine while everyone was too busy to stop her. You’d seen during the night Minghao talking - way too much for it to be normal - to Rae about tattoos. Seungcheol also approached her eventually when she was on her way to “declare her love to Seungkwan” on a mic, and Jessica kept her very busy the entire night, but that didn’t seem to bother her at all.

“Aren’t you gonna wish him a happy birthday? It’s midnight! It’s already the 16th.” She was definitely caught off guard, jumping a little bit when you uttered the first words and almost dropping the microphone she was trying hard to turn on. She soon opened a furtive smile, squinting her eyes and showing the microphone that she was holding with so much strength that the tip of her fingers were white.

“I am. Now help me put the song for me to sing. That one…” She was gesticulating at every single word she’d say, and you - in your slightly-less-but-not-that-much drunken state - started to follow the microphone with your own hands, expecting to take it from hers. “It’s like ‘happy birth… day… to… you.” She started singing the words in a very slow and slurred way, with her eyes closed, and her hands swaying on top of her head, and you giggled at the scene. 

“Ok. Before you do that, I’ll tell you a secret.” You told her, waving your hand asking her to get closer to you and, after a bit of a stumble, she did, placing her right arm over your shoulder and lowering her body to listen to you. “Seungkwan told me he really wanted you to wish him a happy birthday with just the two of you. For intimacy purposes.” Even though you were drunk, you didn’t usually stammer or look as drunk as you were, so to Rae, who was already absolutely busted, your words seemed extremely reliable. 

“Damn. That man wants e-ve-ry-thingy his way. Lucky him that today’s his birthday.” She was once again with her eyes a bit closed, and she would speak the words as if connecting them was the hardest thing she had to do that day. “Here, hold the mic, I’ll be right back.” And just like that she handed you the microphone, holding Seungkwan by his collar and pulling him out of the lounge in a very clumsy manner. 

You scanned the place looking for someone who you could trust with the mic, but the only thing you saw was Mingyu walking towards you. He was wearing a black shirt under a gray-ish jacket. One of the corners of his mouth lifted when he locked eyes with you, and he started walking a bit faster, getting to you in no time. This was the first time you’d properly talk to him during the party; for the first part of it you were too busy keeping Raena away from the drinks, then you were keeping drunk Raena away from the karaoke, and Mingyu also seemed to be pretty busy playing silly games with Seokmin. 

“No glasses today?” He approached you, and you simply denied with your head, just throwing the microphone anywhere and turning your attention back to him. “You look pretty without glasses.”

“I wouldn’t know. I can’t fucking see myself in the mirror without them.” Mingyu giggled, stopping in front of you and smiling brightly, so much you could actually distinguish his pointy teeth even without your glasses. “My makeup is fire, though. I took a picture to see it before leaving the glasses in the bedroom.” You bragged. 

“Is it? I can’t see it that well, I should…” Mingyu’s hand went to your hair, pulling a small strand of it that was falling on your eyes and plucking it behind your ear, using your makeup as an excuse to approach a little more. His face was inches from yours, and you could finally see it clearly. You didn’t dare to close your eyes, but he seemed intrigued by the eyeliner wings that could be seen. 

“Oh, you have a mole right here too. I hadn’t seen it before.” You said nonchalantly, holding his face with both of your hands and having it as close to yours as possible before your lips actually touched. His eyes were dark when you changed your gaze to it, but you simply opened a cheeky smile, touching the point of his nose - as to mark where the mole was - and abruptly pulling away. 

Once again that task wasn’t as easy as you’d anticipated, and Mingyu’s hands were quick to find your waist once again, almost as if they were magnetically connected to them somehow. “Wanna dance?” He inquired and you just nodded, finally noticing that Seungkwan had returned to the lounge and was currently swinging Vernon from one side to the other in the impropted dance floor. 

Mingyu held your hand, pulling you to the center of the lounge, and when he was satisfied with your position, he took it straight to his neck, surrounding you with his own arms. The song wasn’t exactly slow, but it was definitely slower than all the other songs that had been played that night. You started swinging from one side to the other, making a gentle movement on Mingyu’s neck and quickly noticing the small shiver you’ve caused with that small gesture. He smiled at you, pulling you a bit closer and closing his grip a bit more so that neither of you could leave that position.

“Did you survive today? I had a terrible hangover… light was my worst enemy.” Mingyu started small talk, but none of his other movements seemed to be any less than calculated. The way he’d press his fingertips each time deeper onto your covered skin, the way he got closer to your neck than to your ear to whisper those words, the sassy smile he was holding when he moved his head back again… His words were friendly, but his actions were far from it, and you enjoyed every bit of it. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t take you as a weak one, Kim Mingyu.” Your voice was provocative, and you saw him biting his lower lip while he raised his head a bit, looking you from higher than you were used to. He spread his hand on the back part of your waist, using it to pull you even closer to him, making the distance between your bodies vanish completely. 

Once more he lowered his body, placing one of his hands on your neck and using his thumb to tilt your head upwards. He whispered the words, and if you weren’t as close to him as you were, you probably wouldn’t hear them, but you did, and they made a small fire lit up inside of you. “Want me to change your mind?” 

It was your turn to bite your lips, still fully unable to process everything as quickly as you would if you were sober, but you soon opened a cheeky smile, “You can try…” You could almost see fire in his eyes, but you weren’t sure if that just wasn’t the reflection of your own, because judging by the way you felt, it might just well have been. An innocent smile took place on his face, but his eyes contrasted completely with them. He loosened his grip, but it didn’t make you pull any further, and that seemed to please him more than you would’ve thought. 

It’s happening. This shit is finally happening. Mingyu’s intoxicated brain couldn’t think of anything else. His heart was pounding on his chest, but there was no doubt that the two of you wanted that. To his surprise, a dark slender hand appeared between the two of you, covering your mouth and pulling you a bit away from him. “You said you wouldn’t kiss him. Be strong my friend.” 

And suddenly his mind could formulate another thought: I will fucking kill drunk Raena.

chapter fourteen - two truths and a lie 

If cockblocking was a sport Raena would definitely take the first place on this trip, and that says a lot about the situation since Lee Seokmin was also on that said trip. Your eyes were open wide while she kept pulling you away from Mingyu without ever taking her hand off of your mouth, and you did the most mature thing you could think of at the moment: you stuck your tongue out and hoped she got disturbed by you licking her hand.

“Ew. Mouth sweat…” She complained, shaking her hand in an attempt to get rid of the saliva. Mingyu was static, feeling that if he moved he would either kiss you right there or scream like a child whose toy just got taken from him. Fearing the latter, he kept quiet, silently watching and deep down praying you would kick Raena’s ass for interrupting the two of you like that. 

“What the fuck, Rae?!” You barked, and she rapidly turned her head to you. Not her gaze, though, since her eyes were so low she had to lift her head a bit to actually be able to look you in the eyes, and then she just repeated herself, pointing at Mingyu with her recently licked hand. 

“You…” Her palm spreaded on your chest with a bit more strength than she probably intended, but that didn’t bother you at all. “.. said you wouldn’t kiss this man.” And there it was, her index finger pointed directly to Mingyu’s chin, which apparently was the higher she could point at that moment. “Be strong… my friend.” She concluded, shaking you a bit with the hand that was still on you and smiling innocently afterwards. 

“We were not-” You started arguing, but the finger she had just pointed to Mingyu went straight to your mouth, and you were still able to feel it a bit wet from your saliva. If it had been anyone else’s “mouth juices”, any second of it would be too much for you to bear, but since it was yours, you were able to prevent yourself from kicking her ass.

“Don’t lie to me, my little Mrs. Darcy, I…” Her finger went to her chest, and she tumbled a bit, but Mingyu was able to hold her and keep her up and ready to jabber some more nonsense. “... am an empath.” Your eyes went to Mingyu immediately, finding him looking at you as well. His lips turned into a line and he closed his eyes, looking to the other side, as he held a laugh the best he could. You simply bit your tongue, nodding and pretending that she was being reasonable. 

“I can feel the sexual tension here. It’s… palpable. Check this out.” She made a move that would put her in between the two of you, stumbling a bit before acting like she couldn’t go through anymore. “See? The tension!” 

“But why can’t we-'' Mingyu wasn’t even thinking about hiding his intentions anymore, for him it was crystal clear that you reciprocated his feelings and, because of that, he could just tell Rae off and finally do what he had been craving to do for the past week. You, on the other hand, weren't thinking the same. 

“There’s no sexual tension. Mingyu and I are friends. I’m not his type, remember?” Trying to reason with a drunk person was never a good idea, and seeing Rae swing her head from one side to the other made you realize your attempt was unsuccessful. Unfortunately, Rae wasn’t the only drunk amongst the three of you, and your intoxicated brain was yelling at you that you should keep your pride and not admit to wanting to kiss Mingyu after saying you wouldn’t so many times. 

“Whatever you want to believe, Miss Ariel and Prince Eric in that canoe while the crab was singing. Just keep it inside your pants today, ok?” She shushed you and Mingyu, who had just opened his mouth to protest. “Kwanie said he wanted to spend the entire night with his friends. Look how fucking cute I am… and I haven’t made a move on Jessica at all for Kwanies sake. Be good friends and do that too, will you?” 

You looked at Mingyu once again, and Rae’s eyes followed your gaze. She turned his attention to him completely, shifting her weight from one leg to the other and smiling like a salesperson would before offering you the most hideous outfit ever. “Ok. She says she won’t hook up with you and this bitch is prideful as fuck, but I can’t trust you… What do you say, Kim Mingi?”

 He sighed before opening his mouth once again, not being cut before finishing his phrase this time: “Yes, I won’t make any moves on her tonight, Raena.” He declared in a monotone, and your best friend clapped happily, entangling her arms in yours and Mingyu’s and pulling the two of you closer to where Seungkwan was still dancing with Vernon. 

“GROUP HUG!” She yelled and you felt your eyes rolling back. Fuck, you felt it coming, but you thought Seokmin would be the one to do it, not fucking Raena. She squished you inside a hug, caughting Vernon and Seungkwan by surprise, especially when Seokmin appeared out of thin air and smashed them all together. Soonyoung got there almost as quickly as the other man had, and brought Jihoon with him. Next thing you knew, the only people outside of that ridiculous hug was Minghao and Wonwoo, who looked terrified at the mash of people swinging together in the middle of the lounge. 

It felt nice. It felt so nice you hated it. You were more of an introverted yourself, and you could never fully understand how Seungkwan had so many friends, but you had to admit that standing there, surrounded by smiley drunk people that loved each other to death felt great. Your eyes crinkled at the corners, vanishing as soon as you let the stubborn smile that was trying to emerge finally take form on your lips, and when you looked to your side you saw Mingyu looking at you, with a smile flickering across his face. 

“You loved it. Admit it. I saw you smiling.” Seungkwan teased you when the group hug dispersed itself and everyone scattered on the lounge to either drink, eat or dance. You were sitting on a table with Raena, Jessica, Seungkwan, Mingyu and Seokmin, while Vernon was carefully picking out food to take to you after he lost the rock, paper and scissors. 

“I was smiling just as much as you.” You hissed, but you saw Seungkwan pout and lifted his shoulders a bit, smiling at Vernon when he placed the food right in front of the birthday boy and sat next to him. 

“I loved it. Point proved." He said before throwing some snacks inside his mouth. Everyone seemed to be sobering up, and most of the people had traded the alcohol for water in order to be alive and be able to participate in the following day’s activities. Seokmin seemed to be a bit bored, his face was propped up onto his hands and he was looking nowhere in particular. 

“Why don’t we play a game?” Seokmin proposed, and most of you dangled your heads from one side to the other, denying anything that could make you drink another bit of alcohol. “Losers drink water, come on…” He started poking Seungkwan’s arm, trying to convince him because he knew damn well that all the others would do whatever Seungkwan asked of them that day. 

“Ok. Ok. Let’s play a game.” Seungkwan complied and Seokmin beamed at it, finally straightening his posture and thinking about something he’d like to play. “Nothing too stupid. Or complicated, I’m still a bit drunk.” Seungkwan insisted, making Seokmin scrunch his nose and go back to thinking. 

“How about this… We all say three things about ourselves, two truths and a lie, and whoever can’t find the lie must drink.” He seemed so excited by it that you almost felt a bit excited yourself. Maybe it had to do with the fact that, with that game, you could know a little more about Seungkwan’s friends, maybe it was just the remaining alcohol in your blood making you think that it was a good idea. Whichever it was, made you start thinking about three things about you. “Ok, Seungkwan can go first.” 

Everybody got Seungkwan’s right, and him going first was probably a bit silly since everyone on that table knew him better than themselves. Vernon was next, and you were surprised to find out that his name wasn’t actually Vernon, but Hansol, and Vernon was simply one of his last names. Only Seungkwan was able to guess yours, but seeing Mingyu actually trying his best to figure you out made a small dimple show in your cheek. It was on her turn that you all realized Rae was deeply sleeping on her seat. 

“Ok. We should wrap it up. Later we’ll have a busy day!” Seungkwan declared, standing up and clapping twice in order to wake Rae up. Seokmin seemed to be a bit bummed, but you decided that taking Rae to her room and not standing there to figure out if he actually was was the best decision for you at that moment. 

The alcohol on your body was almost completely gone, and thankfully there was no sign of hangover whatsoever. Not mixing beverages was the best decision you had made that day, and watching Rae - who mixed up a lot of shit - stumbling on your way to her room, even with your arm wrapped around her, made you twice as glad. 

After what seemed to be hours of you trying to give your stubborn friend a shower, you slowly started your way back to your room. There was no one in sight and you probably had spent more time tucking Rae in than you thought, because your expectation was to find at least one person outside. You raised your arm, intending to see what time it was, but the absence of your glasses made it impossible for you to see, so you just kept walking towards your room, throwing yourself on the bed while deliberating about showering. 

As soon as you got up, decided to suck up your laziness and get yourself cleaned up before sleeping, you heard a few knocks on your door. It started as just one, but after a few seconds two more followed the first. You made your way there, opening the door and finding Mingyu standing outside, ready to knock a fourth time. “Hey.” He said, smiling a bit and raising his hand in an automatic movement. 

“Hey… Is there something wrong?” He had never knocked on your door again, and for some reason you remembered the pinky promise both of you made - yes, in a slightly inebriated state - about knocking on each other’s doors if you wanted to know if something was not correct. He nodded, and you got out of your room, leaving the door half open. 

“I never got to tell my two truths and a lie.” He pouted and you couldn’t help but to laugh. That was what this was about? Mingyu tried really hard getting yours right, so he probably was interested in the game after all, and wanting to tell his propositions so bad he ended up knocking on your door. Once again you found yourself thinking that that monument of a man was cute, seeing him standing in front of you and being three heads taller made the word seem off, but you couldn’t see no other way to put it. 

“Ok. Go ahead. I’ll try my best.” The corners of your mouths raised in a toothless smile, and he showed his fangs listening to your answer. He bit his lower lip, raising one of his fingers before speaking. 

“One. I’m terribly afraid of heights.” He started counting and you kept watching his lips moving. The alcohol was making them look hypnotic, especially because of the way he would stick them out to pronounce the words. “Two. My name is Kim Mingyu.” His gaze started shifting and you felt a small shiver run through your body. Those options were obviously true. “Three. I won’t make any moves on you tonight.” 

It took him no more than a second to eliminate any distance between you two, and soon you felt his mouth nudging onto yours. His hands went to your face, lifting it gently and the soft peck turned into a small bite in your lower lip, which he stretched a bit before moving away, leaving you with a parted mouth and a racing heart. 

“I have three more.” You said, still too close to him to feel anything but fire all over your body. “One. I gave Seungkwan a beaded bracelet. Two. I have tattoos.” You put your hand on the handle of your door, opening it behind you. 

“Three… You shouldn’t lock it after you get in.” 

[SMUT WARNING FOR MY FELLOW BABIES WHO DON'T LIKE IT] chapter fifteen - green lights

There was a lingering silence between the two of you, and then your back was clashing onto your room’s door. You grinned upon the pressure his lips made on your mouth, but that only left space for him to deepen the kiss, slipping his tongue in, and dipping his fingers on your waist once again. The heat from that slight touch radiated through your body, and immediately made you realize how much you were craving for it, how much you needed his touch; ever since the day he’d sink them there, it always felt empty without his strong grip. 

Your hands went straight to the handle of your door, opening it and then pulling Mingyu in by the collar of his shirt. Every cell of your body seemed to be intoxicated by the faint smell of his sweet perfume, and you could tell just by that that you were already addicted to him. 

Mingyu’s hands went under your shirt, and started to slowly move up as he was pulling you closer and closer, until there was nowhere to go anymore. His sharp teeth bit your lower lip once, and even with your eyes closed you could feel a smile appearing on his face, even with his mouth still glued to yours. 

The sound of your door being closed shut made you open your eyes again, only to see Mingyu with one foot up and his eyes glued to you in an almost adoring way. You couldn't help but to smirk at him, who immediately ran his fingers to your nape and asked you in a rusky voice a simple: “What?”, smiling sheepishly right afterwards. 

“Such an odd thing to do to someone who’s not your type, Kim Mingyu.” You provoked him, but the only impact your words caused this time was to widen his sly expression and pull your hair just a little bit, making you tilt your head slightly to the left and clearing a path for him to whisper in your ear. 

“Oh… I haven’t even started yet.” A small shiver ran through your body as he began to give small pecks on your neck. You almost didn’t realize his hands leaving your hair and moving slyly to your thighs, grabbing them and pulling you up with such low effort that you couldn’t help but to look at his arms, watching the small veins popping up one by one while his lips still went down on your neck spreading kisses. 

The slight nervousness that had made your heart tremble for a moment vanished when he pressed his mouth to your collarbone, and it was replaced by an unbearable heat that started spreading through your body. To the best of your abilities, your tried not to moan shamefully when his tongue went back to the side of your neck, tracing all the way up to your ear, sinking his canines slightly close to your earlobe, sucking the place instantly and making your head spin simply from that small pressure.

“Now would be a terrible time to say I just noticed the moon tattooed behind your ear, wouldn’t it?” He took his lips out of your neck and looked at you while uttering the phrase, and your mouth contracted into an involuntary smile. 

“No, cause I also just noticed another mole you have.” You mumbled and Mingyu’s gaze was filled with an innocent and a youthful expression as he secured his hands around your thighs and started to slowly walk towards your bed. 

“Which one? The one on the nose?” He asked, sitting while still keeping you on his lap, and for the first time you felt the hardness under his pants, which made your arousal only worse. You waved your head from one side to the other, placing a wet kiss just below his jaw. His eyes closed instantly and his hands once again held your waist underneath your shirt. 

“This one.” Your mouth was almost glued to his neck and he could feel the warmness of your breath softly brushing against his skin. Without being able to take any other second away from them, you rushed to his lips, brushing your tongue on his and diving deeper than the other kisses. 

His hands started to make their way up, pushing your shirt inch by inch in the meantime, and when he finally got it at your chin level, you pulled away from him, letting Mingyu remove that piece of clothing from your body. As you started undressing him as well, he took his time finally taking a good look at your tattoos. You were a work of art, with the tattoos framing beautifully every inch of your body. 

There was a small thud when his shirt met the floor, but it couldn’t barely be noticed, because not long after that Mingyu was pinning your body against the bed, nudging into your lips with a heated kiss. 

You gasped with the feeling of his big hands cupping your chest in a soft massage, but he left you no space to react as his lips found their way back to yours in a heartbeat. He thrusted forward, making his erection rub exactly the right way in your slit, and your mouth - still between his lips - opened letting a small pant come out. 

“Fuck, Gyu.” The words left your mouth unintentionally, but they made Mingyu’s smirk grow, as he started to trace your tattoos with small kisses and went down until he reached the snake on your collarbone. He continued his path down, sucking the skin from your chest and almost making you beg for him to give some attention to your very hardened peaks. The way he ripped your bra open from the front made a shiver run through your body, but instead of finally feeling his lips on your breast, you felt a huge emptiness when he got on his knees and pulled his body away from yours. 

“Shit. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone so bad in my whole life.” From your point of view, you could see his darkened gaze, the stiffness underneath his pants and the damn adoring smile staggered on his damn lips. This man would be the death of you, and you would enjoy every single bit of it. 

Your hands went straight to his pants, but he took them off before you could unbutton them, holding your wrists with his right hand over your head while slowly grazing his fingertips on your exposed skin. “You always want to do things in your way, don’t you?” His face started getting closer to yours, and you felt your eyes closing shut, craving for the velvety touch of his lips on you, but you’re given nothing besides his hot breathing against your skin and the agony growing on your stomach. “Unfortunately I’ve spent too much time thinking about what I wanted to do to you to let this opportunity pass.”

Mingyu wrapped his lips around one of your nipples while his free hand made small circular massages on the other one. You dug your feet into the mattress, feeling so much pleasure from that single movement that you couldn’t even imagine what it would feel like to have him inside you. Once again you whispered his name, with an airy voice, doing your best to keep the volume at minimal. 

His mouth engulfed the other breast, and he carefully took the hand that was pinning your wrists, putting two fingers inside your mouth, which you promptly sucked and gave a broad lick while he took them out. He purred your name, but didn’t let that small teasing affect his next actions, which were taken regardless of your pleadings. That hand went to the other nipple, pinching it slowly and making small movements to dismiss the pleasure before he did it again. 

You made the mistake of peering at the man on top of you, and felt your blood buzzing at the scene. Mingyu’s eyes were completely darkened, so focused on you, and when he saw you looking, his sharp teeth bit the pebbled flesh, sucking right after. You felt the sheer desire aching between your thighs, as it got wetter by the minute. Your hands went straight to Mingyu’s hair, pulling them as soon as you touched his strands as you watched him enjoying your every reaction to his touches. 

The quickness in which your hand went back to his trousers, unbuttoning and unzipping it before he could even realize it, got him off guard. You felt your body quiver when he stopped what he was doing and took both of his hands to pin your wrists beside your head, grinning at you and waving his head from one side to the other. 

“For someone who likes to tease you’re pretty impatient, you know?” His husky voice murmured in your ear, and you couldn’t help but to bite your lower lip, turning his head to match his gaze. Mingyu could drown in those deep eyes any day, feeling them immediately pulling him inside just like a sea current would once he got inside its waters. 

“I don’t like teasing…” You murmured, feeling him leaving small kisses on your mouth and almost losing your train of thought when his knee went between your thighs. “... I just like teasing you.” You stretched the last word and that made small fires burst through Mingyu’s body as his face shifted to a big smile he was unable to hide. 

His mouth started lowering your body inch by inch, as his kisses got wetter and with more pressure than before. After playing a bit with your chest, he lowered his body once again, and the hot kiss he left just a bit above the hem of your shorts stirred the pressure inside you, and you instinctively begged him to take them off.

Mingyu stopped what he was doing, holding your wrists and moving so that he could see your face. You were already panty, with a deep pink shade spreaded on your cheeks. The way that man looked at you could cause your heart to stop, making you fall apart in an instant. Mingyu bit his lower lip, smirking and kissing you before uttering the next phrase: “Well, I guess I can say I like teasing you too.”

He was good at that game, you must admit, but the thing Mingyu didn’t know or at least pretended not to know was that you were definitely better. Your gaze suddenly darkened, and your mouth turned into a sneer just for a second before you wrapped your legs around his waist and made him feel that damp spot he had just caused. Your mouth enfolded his in the deepest kiss you’ve shared so far, and you made sure to whisper against his mouth with the utmost lip movement you could put on the phrase so that your lips would graze in every single word: “I can wait cause I know you’ll fuck me real good. I’m very patient.” 

Mingyu’s body squirmed above you as you jerked once to make his intimacy touch yours once again, and a low moan formed on his throat as he puffed loudly, closing his eyes and clashing his lips onto yours. “Actually, I don’t feel that patient anymore.” He murmured, with no trace of a smile in his face, that was overthrown by the deep darkness inside his eyes. He let go of your hands, but you didn’t move them even a bit, watching as - with his eyes glued on yours - Mingyu started to trace a way with his finger nails through your stomach to your shorts. 

He moved his fingers inside your pants, going straight to your dripping cunt, and letting your name escape in a moan when he felt the wetness of your slit with his own hands. “Fuck, fuck.” You cussed as he gently brushed his fingers on your bud, but he didn’t spend too much time there. 

“God, I wanna eat you out so bad…” The fingers that had just been inside you went to his mouth, and he puffed after finally feeling your taste, continuing his phrase afterwards: “But I fear you’ll wake everybody up if I do.” The knot on the bottom of your stomach tightened itself and you jolted in expectation. Your mind was so clouded by lust that the only thing you could do at that moment was to think about how much you wanted him to touch you with his big hands so badly.

“M-Mingyu, please.” That day was the first time in your life you’ve ever bagged for something. The biggest possession you had before that day was your pride, but fucking Kim Mingyu rook it’s place and now a bit of pride was noting compared to how much you wanted him. How much you needed him to touch you, to fill you. 

“Are you gonna be a good girl, then?” He asked, calmly taking your pants off, but without ever breaking eye contact. He’s not clumsy at all, he’s a fucking liar. A stupidly hot liar that should take these fucking pants faster. Your mind took the opportunity of Mingyu’s hands away from you and your brain actually made sinapses again to think, but all that was there was him. He was ruining you, and you wanted to be ruined. 

“Yes.” You blurted, making him laugh with a deeper voice than usual, but you weren’t able to rejoice in that small moment because he finally took his eyes off of yours, staring at your intimacy and biting his lower lip again before starting to give wet kisses all over your inner thighs while taking them out of his hips. 

Your body was already tingling with the warmness of his mouth being pressed against your bare skin, making your toes curl beneath him as he approached your cunt with his upward trail of kisses. You bite your lip, suppressing a loud groan that almost came out when his tongue dragged along your slit. “Good girl.” He whispers in a melting voice. 

Incoherent words start slipping through your mouth accompanying his name every time you felt the velvety touch of his tongue right on your clit, and you covered your mouth with your own hand, even though - at that moment - you weren’t caring that much about who could hear you. He continues to lick and suck your slit in an addictive way, making your body respond to his every single touch.

“You’re perfect.” He mumbled before slipping one finger inside you, making your back arch almost completely and your lips part as a strangled noise that sounded like his name left them. “Look at me.” Mingyu commanded, holding your hips down with one of his hands in a grip that you were pretty sure would leave marks, and sliding another finger inside of you. “I wanna see your eyes when you come.”

His fingers started moving inside you in a way you’ve never experienced before, and eventually hitting a spot that would make your legs weak. At the same time, his tongue was making calculated circular movements on your most sensitive part, and then licking it up and down, causing the knot on your stomach to grow. 

“Oh, shit.” His slender eyes were pierced in yours as his tongue sweep skilfully on your bud with broad strokes, and you could see him opening sassy smiles everytime he saw you struggling to keep your eyes on his and to keep the moans to yourself. “Oh fuck, please don’t stop that.” The way he angled his tongue and started swirling it on your bud was igniting tremors all over your body. “Fuck. Gyu, please…” 

Mingyu then buried his mouth deeper, sucking the area and twirling his tongue in a controlled, yet skillful way. The hand that was inside you left your cunt, but you were so numb that you only noticed when you felt the pleasuring pain of a small pinch on your right boob, followed by a massage that almost made you scream in pleasure. 

With a last stroll of his tongue you felt it. Your body spasmed as his mouth was still buried in you, and you felt the trembling worsening as your head spun. You saw everything blurring in front of you as your back arched and your eyes rolled back with the sheer pleasure you were feeling, but feeling Mingyu sucking and licking every bit of your glistering arousal made you almost dissolve into pleasure. 

“I never thought I’d see you beg…” He teased you, but you had no strength to fight back, especially when you saw his rosy cheeks, the messy hair and the proud smile on his face. I am fucked. You just wrapped his neck with your arms, pulling him closer and kissing him passionately, knowing damn well that inebriating yourself with Kim Mingyu was the best thing you’ve ever done in your life. That movement, however, made another unintentional contact between your intimacies, and you realized how fucking hard he was.

“I guess now’s my turn right?” You sneered, taking him by surprise and - because of that - being able to switch your places and sitting right on top of his erection. His shorts were already untied, and you just pulled them down along with his underwear, having Mingyu to help you out when they came to his heels. Before you could realize, Mingyu’s hands were on your waist, and he pulled you carefully to the position you were in previously, not letting you even touch his cock. 

“Wrong. Today’s about me and all the shit I’ve been wanting to do to you since the day you woke me up…” He held you inside his arms and pulled your torso closer to him, consequentially making your cunt slide on his erection and a synchronized moan leave your mouths at the same time. You both giggled, and he held your face, pulling it close enough for him to kiss you gently. 

Suddenly a small problem struck you. “Do you… have a condom?” You asked, biting your lower lip but not making any effort to change your position. Mingyu nodded, pointing to the shorts you had just taken off and blinking once at you. 

“Oh, you were expecting this, then…” You teased him, grabbing his shorts and picking the pockets until you found the single condom, but had no time to even go back to his side before feeling his arms wrapping around your waist and positioning you back onto his lap. 

“I could tell you what I was expecting, or…” He glued his lips to your neck, sucking it in a not so gentle way while he moved softly beneath you, which made the condom fidget in your hands and fall onto his lap while you tried to suppress a loud moan you felt forming on your throat. “I could just show you.” The slutty smile that showed up on his face made you sure you never wanted someone so bad before and, thankfully, a smile appeared on your face when the realization hit you: you were about to have him.

chapter sixteen - a true friend

A shy knock on your door woke you up, and you found yourself wrapped around Mingyu’s arms, who was still sleeping unfazed. The person behind the door knocked again, and you finally convinced yourself it wasn’t a dream, it actually happened.

“Are you sleeping?” Seungkwan’s voice was timid, but recognizing it made you almost jump out of bed, waking Mingyu up in the process. He opened his mouth, probably to ask what happened, but you were quicker into covering it with your left hand. Another knock on the door and it started to seem like a clock was ticking in your head, showing you that you were running out of time. You looked around your room, finding only Mingyu’s shorts and your shirt, but you honestly didn’t think it through before putting them on, shoving Mingyu into the bathroom and running towards the door. 

“I’m awake.” Your eyes were only half open, and your voice sounded way raspier than you imagined it would be at that time. You cleared your throat, glancing at Seungkwan and watching him frowning, and immediately tossed another word in: “What’s up?”

“Were you sleeping?” He seemed to only then have realized what time it was - 5:15 a.m., you checked on your phone before opening the door - and now he seemed a bit flustered to have woken you up, but you simply shook your head from one side to the other, giving two little spanks on your face and smiling at him. 

“Yup, but I’m awake now. What happened?” Your room was silent, Mingyu made absolutely no sound in the meantime and you were fighting your urge to look inside and see if he was still there, but you couldn’t because Seungkwan was right in front of you, looking a bit lost and very confused. 

“Oh… Nothing. I just… I just thought about coming here.” He murmured unconvincingly, and you tilted your head to the side, closing the door behind you so that Mingyu wouldn’t dare to listen to whatever he had to say. You were a loyal bitch, and if Seungkwan reached you he didn’t want anyone else to know what it was about. 

“Do you want to talk?” You ran your fingers through his messy hair, trying to pull it together somehow, and waited for him to answer. It took him a while, he was actually thinking about his response. Seungkwan wasn’t great at sharing his problems. Showing affection? He was ok with that. Showing when you had pissed him off? Damn, he was the best. Actually asking for help? Oh, no, no. Seungkwanie would rather die than ask anybody’s help before things got too out of control.

“No.” He declared, both to you and him at the same time. You nodded, biting your lip and trying to think of a way to help. Raena was the best at squeezing the truth out of Seungkwan, and probably that was the reason he came to you and not to her: he wasn’t ready to talk yet. 

“But you do have something to talk about, right?” Your question was quickly answered with a significant nod from the blond man standing in front of you. “Do you wanna go to the pier and sit in silence until you start crying and then pretend nothing happened?” You suggested and he looked at you, livid. 

“Fuck you. No.” His long face didn’t last long, and as soon as your giggle was heard he followed you, already feeling better about his deadlock. “Can we… do a small under-the-table schedule tomorrow night? The… Hm… A-Access Holly(boo)d?” You cackled, covering your mouth and hoping that no one had been woken by it. 

“Honestly, your mind is fucking amazing. Did you just come up with that?” He nodded and you placed your hand on top of your heart: “Respect.” Your words made Seungkwan smile once again, and you felt like you made something right - fucking finally. “I’m obviously in. It’s your birthday today, if you asked me to hide a body I would say ‘Kwanie what the fuck…’ but would end up doing it anyways.” 

“You are ridiculous.” He said, feeling glad about coming to talk to you. You bowed twice, rejoicing on Seungkwan’s mood change thanks to you. This is what you should have been for him in the past three years, and what you weren’t because of your stupid ass job. You were glad it wasn’t too late. 

“Should I call Rae?” You asked him and he looked you up and down, raising his hands and making such vague gestures that you couldn’t even understand what he meant by them. The confused look on your face made him roll his eyes. 

“Of fucking course. Us, emotionally constipated bitches, can never solve this shit on our own. We need our emotional cancer support.” He uttered like it was obvious and you just nodded, once again holding a small giggle that would often come out when you were hanging with Seungkwan in any given situation. 

“How about Vernon?” His gaze shifted and he simply denied, waving his head from one side to the other while looking at nowhere in particular. “Oh, ok. I see ya. I got it. I can see right through you, Boo Seungkwanie.” 

“I can also see right through you. How’s Mingyu?” His eyes were piercing and, had you not been a lawyer for the past three years - and therefore an excellent liar -, you probably would have been shaking until now from how spot on he was on his damn guess. 

“I don’t know. You should knock on his door and ask… You’re gonna have to knock five times, though.” He looked you up and down again, staying a little longer on the shorts you were wearing than you would like, but suddenly shrugged, waving his hands dismissively. “I’ll sleep a bit now. Sorry for waking you up.” He said, turning on his heels and heading to the exit of that building.

 After his blond hair disappeared into the corridor, you finally let out a huge sight, getting inside your room and seeing no trace of Mingyu. You opened the bathroom door, and found him sleeping while sitting on the ground with his head resting on the sink. He was holding your shorts and his shirt tightly and his mouth was a bit open. The man was fucking adorable. 

“Gyu…” You said softly and he opened his eyes, smiling faintly at you and then brushing his face with his hands in order to wake up, dropping the clothes he was hanging onto. He got up, stretching his back and following you out of the bathroom as you guided him by holding his hand. 

“What was this about?” He asked in a very raspy voice and with only one eye opened. “Why did I have to go to the bathroom? Are we… hiding this?” A small pout formed on his face and you just stood on your tiptoes, leaving a peck there and seeing his sharp teeth show up after you did so. 

“I think it’s the best thing to do for now…” You confessed and he pouted again, pulling you closer into a hug and leaving kisses in your head. When you lifted your gaze, he placed a kiss on your forehead, and started going down leaving kisses all over your face until he reached your lips. 

“I don’t want to.” He said it like a child and you giggled a bit, flicking his forehead and watching him sulk over it. “Why should we?” 

“We don’t know what this is yet…” You started explaining, and saw him paying close attention to every word that was coming out of your mouth. “... Maybe not making a big deal out of it will cause us to avoid a lot of trouble… Besides, do you know your fucking friends? For instance, Rugel won’t leave us alone with the lame jokes about sex.” 

“Well… I did get the condom from him, so I’m guessing I’ll already be suffering those consequences…” He confessed and both of your hands went straight to your face, covering it completely while you tilted it back. Mingyu took your wrists, wrapping them around his own waist and, by that, pulling you closer.

“Don’t drag me into it, Gyu, please!” You begged him and he giggled a bit, nodding in agreement as soon as he did it. “Not to mention the fact that I might’ve said a couple times I wouldn’t hook up with you and I have a bit of pride inside myself…” You said it like it was nothing, but it made him drop his arms that were still holding you and look at you with another pout on his lips.

“Ouch? That actually hurt a bit?” He said. His eyes narrowed and a line appeared between his brows. You were quick to pull him closer, placing a small kiss on his collarbone and watching him shiver just by that small gesture.

“You also said that… Mr. ‘You’re Not My Type You Ugly Bitch’.” And once again there he was: Kim Mingyu visibly distressed by the tiniest thing you’ve said to tease him. It should not be this fun, but fuck… it was. You felt a small mocking smile show up but you tried your best to keep it to yourself, as he opened his mouth almost insulted.

“ONE TIME. I said it one time. And I never said you were ugly, I always thought you were fucking hot… You just happened to be way more than that… And I’m not someone who only sees people by their looks” He blurted the first words out, but then you started to leave small kisses on his chest as he went jabbering the following words, each one being more slurred than the others and his eyes closing because of the soft touch of your lips.

“Ass or Boobs?” You asked him jokingly and he giggled, forcing himself into seriousness once again to answer blatantly: “Personality.” You both bursted into laughter, as you buried your head on his chest while you did so. 

“Seriously, though. When you walk through that door this…” You pointed at you and then to him. “... never happened. Deal?” He looked at you for a bit, and once again he was thinking that you must have been a great lawyer because there was absolutely no fucking thing you would ask of him that he could’ve possibly think about denying. His eyes rolled before uttering the forsaken word, but you were determined enough on that idea and Mingyu was too tired to fight over his wishes.

“Deal.”

chapter seventeen - hopeless

“Are you sure that this pancake isn’t burning?” Seokmin had woken up a bit earlier than he usually did, and so thirsty that it became almost impossible for him to go back to sleep, so he decided to take the opportunity and see if anybody was already up. He found Mingyu in the kitchen by himself, looking to the most absolute nothing and missing all the indications that the batter on the pan in front of him was about to taste like coal if he didn’t take it out of the fire at that exact second. 

Mingyu looked confused at Seokmin, only noticing his presence after his friend spoke, taking a few seconds to make sense of what was just spoken, rushing to turn the batter and hoping that the pancake wasn’t completely lost. Seokmin bursted into laughter, murmuring a “classic Mingyu” about the fact that he did all the moves in a very clumsy manner, but knowing that messing up cooking wasn’t anything like his friend. 

“What’s up? What were you thinking about?” DK asked the tallest, sitting on the counter and nibbling on one of the pancakes that were already done on a plate to see if they were any good. Mingyu was thinking about you, but he couldn’t say that because he fucking promised that he’d forget what happened inside your room after leaving it As if it was possible. Nonetheless, the only thing that was going through his mind was you and this weird feeling that kept emerging every time he’d see you, or think of you.

“Nothing…” There was absolutely no credibility in Mingyu's words and Seokmin knew him well enough to know that. He squinted, looking his friend up and down, and after he shoved the recently approved pancake inside his mouth, eating the rest of it in only one bite, he came down off the counter, pushing Mingyu’s shoulder carefully, and making sure his friend knew he wasn’t buying any of his excuses. 

“Come on… You can tell me. I’m great at keeping secrets…” His smile made his eyes almost vanish, but a pout soon took its place, caused by Mingyu’s expression that Seokmin could read pretty well: are you shitting me? “Fine. I’m terrible at keeping my own secrets, but when it’s somebody else's I’m pretty good. You wouldn’t know because you never fucking tell me anything.” He nagged and Mingyu turned off the stove, just then noticing that one of the pancakes was gone. 

“Do you want some pancakes as well?” He asked and Seokmin smiled again, nodding and making his way to the coffee machine, making sure to prepare enough for him, Mingyu, and someone else who could eventually show up. They both finished making their breakfast and there was no sign of anyone else whatsoever, so Seokmin decided to push Mingyu a little bit more. 

“Why don’t you tell me just… superficially? For me to get the gist of it without you giving me any details?” He proposed, and Mingyu seemed to be actually considering that possibility, as a small frown started to appear due to the taste of the slightly burnt pancake he decided to eat anyway. 

What could he say? That he couldn’t stop thinking about you any second of the day? That now that he’d finally tasted your kiss he didn’t want to have anyone else’s? That he had left your room at five a.m. and was since then thinking about knocking back, but was afraid to wake you up? That he was dying to scream out to every single soul in that place that he had finally kissed you, but he couldn’t?

“I think I… kinda like someone.” He just said instead, and Seokmin nodded, once again eating the pancake in one bite and drinking a bit of coffee while Mingyu waited patiently for any response he could’ve had. 

“The best phrasing would be I think I’m hopelessly in love with someone, but ok, go on…” Seokmin mimicked Mingyu’s tone, including a small lisp that he kept insisting Mingyu had, even though the tallest one knew he didn’t - his mind just worked a bit faster than his mouth and words would come out a bit slurred. 

“Wait, what?” Mingyu finally assessed Seokmin’s words. He wasn’t in love, it was just a crush. Besides, how the fuck did he know who he was talking about? The shortest one giggled watching Mingyu enter his deep analysis state once again, eating while he processed the information. When his friend’s gaze pierced on Seokmin’s, he just shrugged. 

“It’s kind of obvious. Have you seen the way you fucking look at her? The way you were holding her in the pool? The way your eyes were sparkling watching her rap to ‘Lose Yourself’ by Eminem on Karaoke Night?” Mingyu’s jaw dropped at Seokmin’s words, and he fumed his friend, asking something he was hoping to have an opportunity to ask a while ago. 

“Why the fuck did you tell her I flirt with everybody then, jackass? And why on earth you sat in that damn pool if you noticed?!” Mingyu’s voice was getting louder by the minute, but he was trying his best to be heard only by the ass he had for a friend. 

“Because it’s true that you flirt as a means of communication, how would I know that it was for real this time? Just because of your googly eyes and loud sighs? I’m not psychic… And the second one was because I didn’t want to be alone.” He pouted and Mingyu took the rest of the pancakes that were on Seokmin’s plate, shoving them all into his own mouth and concluding that he wasn’t deserving of his culinary skills. “Dude?” 

“You don’t deserve eating my pancakes.” Mingyu explained with his mouth still full, but Seokmin simply took a few pancakes from his friend’s plate and did the same Mingyu just had. “And I do not flirt as a means of communication.”

“Tell that to halmoni, Kim Mingyu. She’ll be heartbroken, though.” Mingyu’s hand went straight to Seokmin’s arm, hitting it while he stuck his tongue out, and returning that affectionate gesture was the least he could do, so Seokmin rejoiced with the sound of his palm hitting just the right spot on Mingyu’s arm. 

“What are you guys talking about?” Rae’s voice was so husky that, for a split second, Seokmin thought that the person entering the kitchen was actually Wonwoo. She looked like she hadn’t drunk at all the previous day: there were no undereye bags, her curls were glowing and her skin seemed the best they’ve seen so far. There was, however, an odd expression on her face, almost like she was using every single strength in her body to cope with the sunlight. 

“Heart problems.”

“Seokmin’s halmoni.” The two of them answered at the same time, and Rae looked a bit confused at first, while Mingyu pinched his friend’s legs under the table and hoped he would shut his big ass mouth for once. 

“Is she ok?” Raena seemed truly concerned, and Mingyu just got up, proposing to make her some breakfast while he left the small mess for Seokmin to fix. The latter nodded, smiling brightly to the girl who had just sat down in front of him. 

“Yes. Yes… We were saying that she’s very healthy and hadn’t had any heart problems.” He lied, but Rae was in no condition to make judgments about the veracity of said words, and since she couldn’t even think of a reason why Seokmin would lie, she just nodded, agreeing with him and closing her eyes to avoid any clarity to reach her for a while. 

Seokmin kept jabbering about some things that happened the previous night while Raena ate the pancakes Mingyu had prepared for her. He was still in the kitchen waiting to see if anyone else would come in and ask for pancakes, looking avidly to the door while biting his cuticles off. 

“Everyone’s passed out. I checked…” Rae mentioned putting the last piece of her breakfast in her mouth, and Mingyu turned his gaze to her, raising both of his eyebrows and watching her drink a bit of juice and dry her mouth with a no longer white napkin. “You kept looking at the door, I don’t think no one’s coming any time soon.”

Defying her recently spoken words, you suddenly appeared in the kitchen, raising one of your hands in a small greeting. Mingyu’s face lit up as soon as you appeared, and a silly smile showed up in his mouth, which was soon reciprocated by you. Seokmin got up almost instantly.

“Oh, guess you were wrong, Rae. Wanna check if there’s anyone else awake?” He asked, blinking to Mingyu and almost forcing Raena to get up and follow him. She seemed a bit lost by the suddenness, but she followed him willingly, leaving you and Mingyu alone in the kitchen in no time. 

“Want some pancakes?” He asked, getting up from the chair, and you nodded, thanking him in such a low voice that you feared he hadn’t listened to you. While he was concentrating on preparing the batter, you took a look outside the kitchen, finding no one around.

Mingyu felt your hands softly wrapping around his waist and a small kiss being placed on the highest point of his back that you could reach without him bending over, and he looked back, seeing your small eyes and the big smile you were flashing his way. He took your arms, leaving the batter behind and turning one eighty degrees to face you. His lips were quick to find yours and you just kept looking at him when he pulled his face away. 

“How am I supposed to hide anything when you do this kind of thing to me?” He asked, and you giggled, standing on your tiptoes to reach his face, leaving small kisses all over it until you found his lips. 

“There’s no one around.” You had a childish smile on your face and Mingyu felt his heart bursting with the way your nose scrunched while looking at him that way. “The best phrasing would be I think I’m hopelessly in love with someone, but ok, go on…” Seokmin’s voice reached Mingyu unconsciously, and the more he looked at you, the more they seemed to make sense. In love? He wasn’t sure yet, but hopeless? He definitely was, and it was all because of you.

chapter eighteen - look around

The absence of the white cloud blanket on the night sky indicated to you that it would be a cold night, and you cursed yourself for not buying anything that would cover you up for that. Your secret meeting with Rae and Seungkwan to talk over anything that was bothering Kwanie was supposed to happen a few minutes later, but there you were, on the balcony of your room, thinking that near the water would probably be colder than there, and you were already pretty cold. 

“Oh, what a coincidence.” Mingyu’s voice startled you. For a clumsy man, his steps were way too silent. He was standing next to the edge of his balcony that was closest to yours, wearing very familiar jeans, a black beanie and a cardigan that you were pretty sure that should be worn with something underneath - which he decided was not necessary. “We met here again the same day I happened to have two bottles of Bacardi and was thinking about drawing something beautiful… Wanna be it?”

You giggled with all the cheesiness, but Mingyu seemed proud of his previous words, bearing a bright grin that made his nose scrunch a bit and his eyes sparkle. You once again jumped to his balcony, making the man almost drop the bottles he was holding behind his back to try and catch you. You were a bit faster than he expected, and landed gracefully beside him. 

“I can’t. I have a thing to do today…” Your words made him pout, but your icy touch on his face made his mouth quirk up and his eyes went straight to yours. Mingyu placed the two bottles on the rail, letting his hands wander on your back and making a small shiver run through your body because of the coldness of his touch due to the freezing bottles he was holding just now. 

“Wow, that was a violent shiver. Are you cold?” He asked and you simply nodded, feeling him pulling you closer and starting to rub his arms around you, attempting to warm you with them and his presence. You rest your head on his chest, feeling his arms tightening around you, and wishing you could be there just for a little while. “Why are you wearing these clothes, then? Don’t you have anything warmer?” 

“The only long sleeved clothing I own here is the shirt I was wearing when I… you know…” Quit my job. Ruined my future. The dramatic words got lost in your mouth while you tried to explain to him, but Mingyu simply nodded, pulling a bit away to look you in the eye, but without letting you further away from him even the slightest.

“Ah, yes, when you held my hand for the first time… I can only imagine it is hanging in your room like a trophy…” The dry noise that the encounter of your hand with the uncovered part of his chest made was louder than you intended, but Mingyu’s loud giggle and the smirk he was displaying made you sure that it wasn’t because you put too much strength into it.

“Jackass.” You murmured, trying to get out of his hug, but he just stiffened his arms, making his grip on you stronger and pulling you close enough for him to be able to find your lips, leaving small pecks while you kept jokingly trying to escape. He is way too good at this for it to be legal, you kept thinking to yourself while Mingyu’s lips would wander through every inch of your face in a very soft and warm caress. “If you didn’t have such a handsome face I would’ve punched it already.” 

“If it is sensual and consensual… I’m ok with it, you know?” His words masked the redness that was spreading through his cheeks because of your compliment, but you couldn’t help but notice how red his ears had gotten and how adorable he looked with the youthful smile he showed everywhere lately. “Talking about sensual…” 

His arms left you, and - maybe because of the cold night, maybe because of some deep wish within you to keep being held by him forever - their absence was almost painful. You felt a pout forming in your own mouth, unintendedly, but it dropped when you saw him opening one button of his cardigan at a time, taking it off in no time and placing it over your shoulders. 

“Kim Mingyu!” You nagged, pushing him inside of his room and trying your best to avoid that he would get sick. His body was in flames when your cold hand touched it, and you finally looked down once again, inspecting his stiff torso and having vivid images of him on top of you popping in your head unconsciously. 

“What? You said you were cold…” He had a sheepish expression on his face and he could see exactly how your eyes were wandering through his body in a hypnotic way. The bottles of Bacardi were still on the rail of the balcony, but drinking didn’t seem that interesting now that you were in front of him. “I was just helping you out.”

“I am not one of god’s strongest soldiers, Kim Mingyu, you cannot take your shirt like that and hope that I will simply move on with my life, seriously.” You finally came back to your senses, watching him beaming at your comment and slowly caressing your hair while he kept getting closer and closer. “But thank you, do you have anything else to wear? Can’t let you get a cold… You’re already a big baby when healthy, I can’t even imagine how impossible you must be when sick.” 

“Should I also take off my pants and show you how impossible I can be?” His eyes were piercing through yours and you bit your lower lip, gathering all of the strength you had on your body to swing your head from one side to the other. 

“I can’t, Gyu. I told you I have something to do…” You checked your watch, seeing that you were officially late for the secret rendez-vous. Slowly a tint of regret from jumping to Mingyu’s balcony and making it harder for you to want to leave him and go meet your friends emerged. Nonetheless, Seungkwan needed you, so you didn’t have a choice, you should get going before it was too late.

“What’s that? Schedule is free tonight, I checked…” He asked, walking towards his suitcase and pulling a long sleeved shirt from it, and - thankfully for your mental health and self control - covering his fine ass body with it. 

“It’s a secret…” When Mingyu looked at you after you uttered those words, he saw a completely new expression on your face. The smile was almost childish, like you were a kid who was about to do something bad, but somehow wanted someone to know. Mingyu raised his brows and you bit your lower lip once again while the smile kept staggered on your face. “... Like a Confession Session for the besties who hadn’t talked in ages because one of us has been too busy to be a human being.” You explained and Mingyu nodded: you, Rae and Seungkwan would gather and tell each other about your lives, he got that. 

“Are you gonna talk about me?” His voice was deep and he held your hand softly, intertwining your fingers and grazing his thumb very gently up and down. Your heart fumbled with that small act, and you could feel it beating stupidly loud, almost making you embarrassed. This is ridiculous, this feeling. Your head said that constantly, but your heart was beating so loud that those intrusive thoughts couldn’t barely be heard, and you would simply enjoy these little things, fearing that soon they would go away. 

“What would I say? We decided on keeping it a secret, remember?” You smiled and Mingyu frowned, sticking his lower lip out, scrunching his nose and puckering his eyebrows. He tried letting go of your hand, but you held it still. Even though Mingyu made it pretty obvious that he would rather just tell everybody, you still didn’t know what the two of you had. What would you even say? Hi guys, Mingyu and I had nasty sex two nights ago and now we hold hands and kiss eventually? That simply didn’t make sense. Besides, what if this was only because of the environment? What if you came back home and Mingyu realized that you weren’t his type afterall? How embarrassing would it be for you to retell everyone that the nasty sex was just a mistake? No, no. That wouldn’t do. 

Oddly, Mingyu understood exactly what was going on in your head the moment he laid eyes on you. It felt weird, being able to read you so well after just a few days felt at the same time weird and as if it was meant to be. For now, he knew that it was a lost battle, so he decided to do what he knew would please you: diverge the subject and let this conversation for later. You already had much in your head anyways. 

“That I’m super cute and a good kisser…” He answered finally, stealing a kiss before pulling away with a toothless smile. You felt glad he didn’t insist on the matter, smiling back at him and raising both eyebrows in response. 

“Can I change that to ‘Gyu’s super cute, smart and handsome’ and leave the good kisser part aside? I don’t think Raena would believe me if I said I kissed you, she would call me a sore loser and a liar.” You proposed and Mingyu bursted into laughter, nodding while he patted your head in a very caring manner. 

“Deal.” Once again he was blushing. He fucking loved being complimented, you could tell that by his very obvious reactions to every single good thing you’ve said about him so far, and he also liked when you called him either by his nickname or full name. He was very transparent and expressive, even when he tried not to be. 

“Ok. I must go now. I’m already late, if I take more time they’ll start searching my body in the water and be certain that I’m dead by now… I am never ever late.” Mingyu nodded, opening the door for you and, after seeing if there was anybody on the corridor, you slid your body out of his room, rapidly striding to the pier. 

Seungkwan was sitting with his back completely straight on one of the sun loungers looking nowhere in particular, and Rae was staring deeply at him, probably waiting for him to say something - the scene wasn’t even close to unusual -, sitting in the lounger next to his. You cleared your throat to avoid scaring anyone, and sat right next to Rae on her chair. 

“You’re late.” She remarked and you smiled half-heartedly, knowing damn well that she was right. Usually the late one was Seungkwan, because you would always push Raena out of the house — even when her make up wasn’t still completely done —, and make her finish getting ready on the way. “And Seungkwan hadn’t said anything other than…” She forced her voice to go deeper and tried her best to mimic your best friend in the next phrase: “I will only speak when the one who will agree with me arrives.” 

“Is this Mingyu’s cardigan?” Seungkwan finally looked at you, gushing the words instantly when he noticed the piece of clothing that definitely did not belong to you. You nodded and Rae made the slyest face you’ve ever seen her pull out, so you decided to explain — lie —  before things got out of control. 

“Yep. I’m late because I didn’t buy any long sleeved clothes, so I knocked on Mingyu’s door and asked for one. He took his time looking for this and I took my time lying about wanting to stroll along the pier by myself so that I wouldn’t rat you out.” 

Raena hated how good of a liar you were. She couldn’t tell if that was the truth or not. She had seen Mingyu sneaking into the kitchen and grabbing some bottles earlier, but she simply could not remember his outfit, and you seemed pretty confident in what you were saying, so she decided to believe it.

Seungkwan, on the other hand, knew it was bullshit. You never explain yourself this much when you have nothing to hide, and the tone of your voice always had slight changes when you were on what he liked to call “lawyer mode”. However, if you were lying it probably was because you weren’t ready to tell them whatever was going on, so he decided to do the thing he hated the most: pouring out his feelings. 

He didn’t hate attention, nor hated people knowing things about him. That was, of course, when it came to things he could control and slightly manipulate how he would be perceived. Those two jerks that were bickering while he processed the new information he just received were the only two people in the world to whom Seungkwan would confidently talk about the most reckless, enerving and uncontrollable things in his life: his personal feelings.  

“Ok, can we talk about Kwanie now, Raena? Geez, I’m only ten minutes late.” You begged, hoping that the damn woman in front of you would simply drop this one mistake you made. You never dropped anytime she got late before, so she wasn’t very willing to let this one go without at least a bit of nagging, but Seungkwan nodding made her forget about it and pay attention to him.

“Right… It’s one of those things…” He started saying, noticing that both of you were paying close attention. “... That I don’t like talking about.” Putting in words the things that were bothering him was way harder than he expected. Seungkwan kept trying to formulate words and nothing was coming out. “It’s better if you guys just ask.” 

The light echo of the small water movements made by the wind twirling in that shimmering nothingness was the only sound that could be perceived. It seemed like even your breaths had taken a break and were being held as the two of you started to think of what Seungkwan could possibly want you to ask. “I have nothing…” Rae finally broke the silence, unable to think of anything that could be bothering her friend.

“This is about… Vernon… right?” You asked carefully, afraid to trigger anything, and Rae’s jaw dropped when Seungkwan nodded affirmatively. You nodded back and Rae kept shifting her gaze from him to you nonstop, until you spoke again: “What? Weren’t you an empath? How did you not realize this, Raena?” The phrase made Seungkwan giggle a bit, and Rae puffed loudly, throwing her hair back with her hand and steaming at you. 

“I am an empath. I’m a cancer…” She confirmed, sticking her middle finger up and tucking the framing strands of hair behind her ears. “But I do confess that I have been so focused on Jessica that I haven’t paid much attention to my two babies.” 

“You didn’t make your move yet? For fucks sake, Raena.” Seungkwan scolded and she raised her index, swinging that long and slender finger from one side to the other in a slow pace, and starting to swing her head alongside. 

“No. No. No. No. No, Mr. Boo Seungkwan. This is not about me. This is about you. I see what your earthy sign ass is trying to do but I won’t let it happen. You can scold me about being a hopeless romantic and a panicked gay later.” She said, and as oddly as it sounds, Rae was making… sense. That was a new one. “So let’s go back a bit, shall we? Chwe Hansol… do you like him?” 

“Hard question. Rephrase it.” Seungkwan demanded, and Rae squinted. How the fuck could that be a hard question? You were thinking about questions to do yourself, but your mind was blank, only being replaced by eventual images of Kim Mingyu that would randomly pop out with no previous warnings. 

“Did he do anything to annoy you?” You finally asked, shaking the mental image of Kim Mingyu in his pair of jeans and with no clothes on that was coming back no matter how hard you tried to dismiss it. DAMN. THIS FUCKING MAN. Seungkwan nodded.

“Was it something he said?” Raena asked, and Seungkwan denied promptly, waving his head from one side to the other with his eyes shut. “So… It was something he did…” She concluded and Seungkwan nodded. “Ok. Now it’s with you, champ. Can’t dig any more than that without context.” 

Kwanie nodded again, looking around and preparing himself to vocalize the thing he had been trying to not think about for the past day. He had been ignoring Vernon ever since it happened, so scared to let that situation get out of control that he ended up making the situation get completely out of control. “Vernon k-ki… k-kissed me. And I kissed him back. On my birthday. But I don’t… I don’t know…” 

Your mouth dropped. You had been so focused on your own problems you missed all the cues Seungkwan had given you for the past week. The way he kept caressing Vernon’s cheeks, the way they were together all the time, the way he angrily said that friends to lovers was his least favorite trope and how Vernon walked right out of there, the way he was constantly asking you to do something just the three of you but you kept denying because of such silly problems that they weren’t even worth to mention… This man was dying to tell you about him, he was dying to ask for help, and just like for the past three years you forgot to look around you. 

chapter nineteen - old scars

January 16th, 03:32

After dragging himself across the saloon to take the last red cup that was tossed on the ground, Rugel greeted the last two people left on the pier: Hansol and Seungkwan. The latter insisted that Vernon should just go to sleep, that he didn’t need to help Seungkwan out with all the cleaning - which could not be left for the following day because, of course, Kwanie had planned many fun activities for his birthday. Vernon, on the other hand, was set on helping the birthday boy out, collecting every piece of trash he could find and taking anything slightly heavy from Seungkwan’s hands before he could lift any sort of weight. It was his birthday, afterall. 

“I just have a few things to put away, Vernon, you can go to sleep now if you’d like.” Seungkwan’s words were a bit slurred and his cheeks were crimson, but to Vernon he seemed very sober while uttering them. He was trying to portray himself as sober, Vernon knew as far as that, and he simply waved his head from one side to the other, promptly denying Kwan’s demands and continuing to do what he was doing prior to that disturbance. 

After a brief silence, Vernon decided to speak up, feeling his friend’s eyes burning on the nape of his neck for not doing as he was told. “I want to help you out, ok? Have I ever done anything I didn’t want to?” It was Seungkwan’s turn to swing his head, a small pout formed on his lips and his eyes partially closed while he did so. 

“No… It’s just… You know…” He kept wandering nowhere in particular while he said the words, and his hands were gesturing vaguely, stretching his long fingers to whichever direction was closer. “I don’t want to bother you. I can do this alone. I’m sorry” He explained himself and Vernon picked up the chairs around the table he was in, placing them on top of the others before approaching Seungkwan again. 

“You don’t bother me. Ever. Remember when you called me two in the morning asking if I was up on the day before my field trip? You didn’t even bother me then. It woke me up to speak to you until it was 5am and I left for the trip with energy - which I almost never have by the way.” He confessed, just staring at the boy in front of him, who had already forgotten about the main reason he was there: put everything together before morning came. “I love just being by your side, and I told you already to stop apologizing, you did nothing wrong.” 

Seungkwan’s ears turned as red as his cheeks, and he could feel his whole body tingle from those words. He stopped a smile from emerging, afraid that anything he’d do would trigger Vernon the wrong way. He didn’t, however, have much control over his words, mostly because of his slightly drunk state. “You have to stop saying things like that. They make my heart flutter. I don’t like it.” 

“Well, I like it.” Vernon wasn’t much of a doer, he had always been a more observant kind of guy, the kind of person that felt dislocated from society and reality in some ways. Seungkwan made him doubt everything he knew about himself. There was this emerging explosion corrupting every bit of Vernon’s beliefs that he should just watch by, which made him give small steps towards the blond boy in front of him. Seungkwan kept retreating, but his eyes almost begged Vernon to keep chasing, so he never stopped, he always gave another step, hoping that soon enough Seungkwan would stop avoiding it. Avoiding them. 

“Why?” That was the first time Vernon found himself walking alone, with no step back from Seungkwan, just his confused gaze and a new willingness to listen to him. Vernon, who was always so ecstatic, saw a small crack on that door and just ran for it, afraid that Seungkwan would never let that opportunity arise again and close it for good.

“Because I like you. And I know you know I like you, so you can stop playing dumb everytime I do things like this.” He grabbed Seungkwan’s hands, feeling how cold they were. Seungkwan would blame the alcohol for this whenever he stopped enough to think about what he was doing, but he let Vernon hold his hand like he always did, and pulled him into a hug. “And you also know you like me too, that’s why you do things like this.” Inside his arms, Vernon said the things he had been keeping for so long. Seungkwan buried his face on Vernon’s neck, not caring if he would hear how loudly his heart was beating at that moment. Blame it on the Booze tomorrow. Say what you want today. 

Vernon’s hand went to Kwan’s chin, stroking gently that place, but Seungkwan’s conscience took over him, pulling one step away from the man next to him and saying what he’d been dreading all along: “What if it ruins our friendship?” Vernon sneered, and Seungkwan regretted his words, changing the subject almost immediately. “Talking about friendship, have you seen how close the ‘she’s my type now’ and the ‘i’m a prideful bitch and will pretend i’m not interested in him anymore’ duo are?” 

“Um-hum…” Vernon answered, making his way to another table, intending to collect the chairs from that side of the venue. Seungkwan started to get desperate by how dry Vernon’s words were. He was mad. He knew that for sure, but he couldn’t let that small rational part of him aside, even though his heart was aching with the sudden lack of contact he had caused by stepping away. 

“They’re cute, right? Last time I saw Mingyu looking at anything or anyone like that it was at that exposition from his favorite artist… What was his name again?” Vernon sighed, knowing that if he didn’t participate in Seungkwan’s desperate attempt of changing the subject, he wouldn’t shut up. That small window Seungkwan had open was slowly closing and there was almost nothing Hansol could do about it. Better late than never. He repeated to himself, uttering words that hopefully would take the conversation to where he was intending. 

“Yeah. I saw them dancing pretty closely today. I’m glad Raena meddled before they could kiss.” Vernon commented, seemingly over the previous conversation - at least on Seungkwan’s under the influence judgment - and hoping on his cue to change the subject. 

“Glad?! I almost went there to hit her. They like each other so fucking much, everyone can see it… I hope they get together soon. I hope that bitch that I call best friend gets over her attachment issues, because I really think this won’t be just a fling for Mingyu.” Seungkwan had already given up on cleaning, sitting on the nearest chair he could find and just staring while Vernon would finish what he was doing. 

“Yeah, glad. I could see them bonding a lot over the lake the other day, a kiss could jeopardize that in an instant… Maybe they should just keep it that way.” The way Vernon said the words was so innocent that Seungkwan didn’t realize the trap he was getting into. He opened his mouth wide, approaching Hansol enough to hit his arm once, pouting at his response and making Vernon raise both of his eyebrows, with a youthful grin forming on his lips. 

“Why worry about that now, if they could just live in the present? Their feelings are real right now, so why worry about the future and whether or not it will jeopardize anything?” Seungkwan bit his lower lip as soon as he heard himself. Fucking Hansol Vernon Chwe, he had set him up and Seungkwan fell for it like a duck. A victorious smile emerged on Vernon’s face as he held Seungkwan’s arm, preventing him from moving away again. 

“Do as I say, not as I do, right?” Vernon’s light brown eyes were glistening looking at Seungkwan’s, shifting from them to his mouth in such subtle movements Kwan wondered if it wasn’t just his imagination. “I like you, Seungkwan. A fucking lot. Right now.” 

“I like you too, Vernon. Right now.” It was everything that it took for Vernon to glue his lips on Seungkwan’s. 

(Present)

“Yeah, you fucking broke him, Raena.” Your voice made Seungkwan’s head come back to that place, leaving the memories from the night prior fade slowly. “Should we hit him or something? It’s been five minutes.” 

After Rae asked Seungkwan to tell them everything that happened, their friend entered an almost catatonic state, remembering vividly every bad decision and every wording he decided on using that led him to the moment that was making him so confused. 

“I don’t want to give details.” He finally spoke up, making you and Rae stop arguing about whatever nonsense you were at the time. “We kissed. You get the gist of it. Now just… fucking help me. What should I do?” The man before you was a wreck, and you actually wanted to help out that time. 

“Talk to him.” Both you and Raena said at the same time, which made them look at you deeply concerned. When it came to advice to the heart the only constant in your friendship was you and Rae disagreeing with how to proceed. Raena was a hopeless romantic, while you had had your share of disappointments to simply avoid getting in such a vulnerable position again. That was why it startled them hearing you utter the same words as your friend, and not something along the lines of “avoid him forever”. 

“What?” You asked them, turning your face into a frown from all the judgment you were receiving without them even listening to the rest of the advice. “Talk to him. Tell him your were fucking drunk and can’t remember shit. ‘Love, Rosie’ the shit out of him, tell him to not mention it ever again because you were so drunk you’re embarrassed. Make him never speak about it again. It never happened.”

Seungkwan sighed in relief. Yes. That was a good plan, you always had the fucking best plans ever to match with his already pretty much made mindset. Raena was the voice of emotion in that relationship, because both of you knew that being non confrontational and overly rational was not exactly the best thing to do all the time. “Good. Good. I like that.” Kwanie said smiling brightly, and Raena rampaged until she sat between the two of you. 

“NO!” She growled, shifting her gaze from your slightly embarrassed face and Seungkwan’s innocent one.  “God. You two!!” That was the angrier you’ve seen Rae so far, and maybe - just maybe - your solution came towards the wrong direction. Just maybe. You couldn’t be one hundred percent sure yet. “Seungkwan you are fucking in love with him, don’t just ‘Love, Rosie’ him. We watched that movie together… Remember how miserable Rosie was? Do you want to be miserable?” Raena knew damn well that anything she would propose something it needed to be a bit logical, otherwise the two emotionally constipated mother fuckers would just ignore whatever she was saying. 

“Relationships just mess things up, Rae. Eventually they leave and, one way or the other, you’ll end up miserable.” You counter argued. Raena was rooting for the ship that she and Jessica had been calling “Verkwan” since the S(eungk)wan Lake day. The way they looked at each other, the way they interacted… Everything made her believe that Vernon was, in fact, Seungkwan’s soulmate, and she wouldn’t let his emotional maturity of a five year old and your attachment to your old scars prevent her best friend from being happy.

“Not always. Not every relationship. Besides, getting hurt is a part of life. We grow out of it, you know?” She hissed, her curls were flying because of the cold wind that was blowing in your direction, but that didn’t make her piercing stare move an inch from yours and Seungkwan’s eyes. “So suck up your emotional baggage, learn from them and stop thinking that everyone will be like Michael and fucking leave you. Vernon and Seungkwan's relationship is not like that.”

“So mine was…” This wasn’t about you, you knew that, but it would be a lie to say that her words didn’t hurt you in some way. Seungkwan was quiet, observing the way that conversation was unraveling. 

Michael was your last serious boyfriend. After many people went in and out of your life, convincing you that nothing would ever stay, he made you think differently. He was kind, used to always say that you were the most beautiful person he’d ever encountered, he was warm and your parents liked him very much. You allowed yourself to talk about it for the first time: love. 

When he left one day without giving you much explanation you just accepted it as your fate: no one would actually stay after you called it love. At first you thought that the word was what scared them, but receiving his wedding invitation three months from that day made you realize that the problem wasn’t love itself, but you. Maybe you were just the one people should meet before finding love. Maybe love just wasn’t for you, and because of that you ran from it every time you could see it slowly approaching you to hurt you again. 

“No. I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant…” Rae realized she had just crossed a line you two hadn’t in a very long time. Bringing Michael up was a desperate attempt to convince Seungkwan and you, but he hadn’t been a topic in so long Rae almost forgot how hurt you got over it. Remembering how she would always find you in the middle of the night drinking a beer by yourself in the living room, and telling her that you were cursed, made her regret saying anything at all. 

“No. No. You’re right.” You spoke lifelessly, eyes lost somewhere in the lake and a faint sneer on your face. “I’m sorry, Kwanie. She’s right. I can’t help you out with this.” Seungkwan took your hand, but you smiled at him. “I was never actually happy with someone like that. Maybe this time you should just listen to Rae and I should just be quiet. You don’t want to end up scared of trying like me, right?” 

You got up. The silence was almost painful, but you kept a toothless smile on your face, pretending to be ok, hoping that you were ok. “I feel a bit tired now. I’ll just leave this to Rae, ok? I agree with her.” And with no response you left, letting the tears you’ve been keeping to yourself come out only when you were, as usual, alone. 

chapter twenty - keep you close

Your friends knew you enough to know that following you around was not a good decision. Rae, who was very open about her feelings and these kinds of things, hated this part of you because she always felt powerless. It made sense even for her that, whenever you had a feeling, you couldn’t verbalize any of it, and also that you needed time to process and understand what to do with the feelings, but when it was her who hurted you she just hated that she couldn’t apologize until you’ve already made peace with it. 

Nonetheless, she didn’t follow you. She saw you standing and walking away from them, striding blindly through a path that had become usual to you: through that rock path, climbing a few stairs, to the corridor, into your room, and straight to your bed. 

Crying never lasted, because rationalizing things always took such a big part of your self-loathing time that the tears would just evaporate into fuel to your - maybe a bit biased - self harming thoughts. Bringing Michael up wasn’t the best thing Rae could do to your mental health, since you had thrown those feelings and the disappointment inside a drawer in your mind where you would never have to touch them again, but you could clearly see that it was necessary to convince Seungkwan. That’s why you didn’t take her words to heart.

This was about Seungkwan, not you. You knew that, so it shouldn’t hurt that much, but it did. It did because usually suppressing things wasn’t very healthy - even though it was the only way you knew how to cope with pretty much anything. Maybe being the perfect child made you unsure on how to show weakness, and that would backfire anytime you’d feel anything, which made you raise a wall between you and anyone who wasn’t scared of facing them like you were. Them being, of course, the deepest and darkest parts of you that made you not perfect.  

Your face was buried into your pillow, but you were just lying there, doing the thing you dreaded the most: thinking about your life. A few knocks on your door made you lift your head, feeling a bit dizzy because of the lack of oxygen the position you were in was providing you. You hoped that not answering it would make the person go away, whoever it was. The lack of response in those kinds of situations usually meant what you hoped they would understand: there’s no one inside. 

There was no one inside, indeed, at least no one worth talking to, no one worth anyone's time at that point. You avoided your feelings not only because you felt shame, but also because sometimes they could be so stupidly strong that you would wish to be a robot, just not to feel anything at all. Just to not feel as pathetic as you felt at that very moment. So overwhelmed as you felt. 

“Are you back?” Mingyu’s voice was soft and you could almost see the smile he was giving while he said them. That innocent smile that he would flash your way whenever you were saying something that interested him, the kind of smile that made you feel like you - and whatever it was that you had to say - mattered. You smiled back, eager to open the door and, for a second, be able to think about anything else but that sweet man that was standing in the corridor. 

The bitterness of realization hit you when you stood up, professing words inside your mind that you have said many times before, and that you knew from experience to be the most utter truth: “He is going to leave too. Don’t get used to it.” Your intrusive thoughts reminded you. Everybody leaves, and the more you let those feelings flourish inside your chest, the more things would hurt when he did. 

You opened the door anyway, driven by an instinct that you assumed to be curiosity, and watched his smile turn into a worried look when he faced your slightly puffed and clearly unpleased expression. Before saying anything and without a glimpse of anything that could look like a warning, Mingyu wrapped his arms around you, making no questions and not doing anything other than holding you tightly. 

Your face started to get wet, and you realized that the damn tears that you thought had already been gone long ago came back. In a way you only did when you were alone, you started sobbing. The tears would come down like rivers, with no permission, but instead of pushing you away, complaining about the way you were wetting his shirt or saying things about how you shouldn’t cry, Mingyu just let you do it, tightening his grip whenever the shivers from your body would get so violent you thought you could fall apart from them. 

His warm skin, the soft touch and the way he was holding you like you were the most precious thing he’d ever had inside his arms made everything you’ve been bottling up emerge in a powerful wave of despair. Being jobless. Not knowing who you were anymore. Being so unlovable that even your best friends thought the same about you. Even the smallest of things, like that one time you stubbed your toe and your toenail almost fell, started to bother you once again, making your body expel those negative feelings in the form of tears. Everything you decided to compartmentalize once in your life rushed back into the surface in the form of those stupid drops that wouldn’t stop running down your face. 

Mingyu’s started to softly rush his fingers through your back, being the most silent you’ve seen him be so far. When did your body feel like that was a safe space for you? A space safe enough to bring all your emotional baggage out while you were so powerless and pitiful inside his arms? You felt pathetic, but that feeling only made you cry more, and as soon as Mingyu heard a noise on the corridor, he softly pulled you inside your room, closing the door behind him so that no one would see you this fragile. He imagined you wouldn’t like it. He wasn’t even sure if what he was doing at that very moment was something that you were comfortable with, but there was nothing else he knew how to do.

“This is scary.” You confessed, still letting Mingyu’s arms revolve around you, and his hands went to your hair, stroking it softly as he realized you would slowly stop crying. Your voice was choked up, but your impulse was to speak everything that you would usually keep to yourself. “I think I really like you.” The words left your mouth unintendedly, and realizing how dull they seemed by the inaccuracy of them caused a shiver to run through your body.

Mingyu’s heart flipped over with the sudden confession. He wasn’t expecting to feel this fired up from those simple words, but they made small bursts of energy explode through his body, while his heart pumped loudly on his chest. He opened his mouth to respond, but nothing seemed to truly express how he felt towards you. Would it be okay to say them at that moment? His grip loosened and made you regret your words.

You took his unresponsiveness to the thing you were most used to: unrequited feelings. It only made sense to you that Mingyu wouldn’t feel the same. He didn’t have many options on that situation and you were very good at the game you both played, so it could be assumed that you won him over, but little did you know that it would make this silly feeling stagger on your chest for someone who wouldn’t even consider hooking up with you at first sight. 

While the man before you tried his best not to dance like a moron to express even the slightest all the bombarding of feelings he was experiencing, you buried your head on his neck, standing on your tiptoes to do so, and choosing carefully your next words so that they wouldn’t express so freely the deepest feelings of your heart like your previous ones did. 

You didn’t want Mingyu to leave, you knew this much about the situation. “Like” wasn’t enough to describe how he would make your heart fumble inside your chest, that was also an undeniable truth.

“We should end this now.” You declared, feeling his body stiffen as soon as you did. Mingyu felt like you had clipped his wings as soon as he started flying, and it made no sense at all. How could you say you liked him and, at the same time, say that you should end this?

“What? Why?” He finally spoke out, feeling like if he didn't he'd be silenced for the entire trip. Mingyu was never a big thinker when it came to making decisions, but this one particular decision you made in such a rush seemed like it could be a little more thought out, especially because he didn't like the outcome of it. “Do I have a say in it?”

His face broke some part of you. He had held you by your shoulders, furthering away just enough so that your eyes could meet, and when they did you felt like a monster. He wasn't pleased with your one sided decision, but there was no doubt in your mind about that being the best approach to your situation.

“You do, if you’re agreeing with me.” It was the best decision. You were sure of it. You could be selfish this time in order to keep Mingyu in your life, couldn't you? He fuzzed his brows, pouting a bit, clearly displeased with your answer, but before he could protest, you decided to take control of the situation. “It takes two to tango, Gyu, and I made up my mind.”

“We are not tangoing, we are kissing.” His lips were pursed out and it made his cheeks puff, making him look adorable. Mingyu glued his mouth to yours, kissing you in a desperate attempt to dissuade you, and you cherished that small act, obstinate that it would be the last time. 

“But I like you. I want us to be friends for a long time.” Oh. You liked him as a friend. Mingyu felt bitterness all over his mouth. He misunderstood you once again. He thought he knew you enough by then, but it seems like he didn't afterall. You didn't like him like he liked you, and as much as Mingyu wished it didn't, that realization made him deeply sad.

He looked at you. There was so much going through his mind that his impulse was to simply hold you and not let you go until you gave up on that crazy idea. No words seemed enough, no words seemed good enough. On the other hand, Mingyu didn't want to lose you, and learning that his feelings were unrequited made him fear that any other movement towards what he actually wanted could make you run away, so he did something he could never do in the past, something that he would only do because you were the one making the proposal he hated the most in his whole twenty five years of life: give in.

“Ok. Friends, then.”

chapter twenty-one - good luck to us

“Either knock on my door or get the fuck out of here, you pacing from one side to the other is preventing me from resting, Kim Mingyu.” Seungkwan opened the door suddenly, startling the tallest a bit before he could even process what had happened. When the blond man’s words sank in, Mingyu looked him dead in the eye, knocking twice on the already opened door and making Seungkwan almost close it on his face. 

“It makes no sense, Seungkwan.” He said, walking inside of his friend’s room and ignoring the dirty look Seungkwan was giving him while he threw himself in his bed. The blond one closed his door, tossing his body on Mingyu’s side and waiting for him to explain whatever nonsense he was going on about. 

Seungkwan wasn’t in the mood to be anyone's support system, since he was also going through a small crisis at that very moment. He wasn’t, as well, in the mood to pester Mingyu until he said anything other than it makes no sense, so he soon came back to doing what he was doing before that overgrown puppy came in: thinking what he would do about Vernon and ignoring Mingyu’s presence in that space. 

He liked Vernon. A lot. He could never deny how crazy he was for that man, but the fear of taking the next step was consuming him in such a way that paralyzed him. Pretending that what he was doing was one hundred percent platonic and fraternal was his comfort zone, where he would allow himself to touch Vernon as he pleased with the excuse of them being very good friends, but since the kiss that was no longer possible. 

Losing Vernon didn’t seem to be an option either. He couldn’t afford that. He wouldn’t let that happen. Maybe Raena was, for the first time, right, and Seungkwan hated to admit it. Mingyu puffed beside him, but it was not enough for Kwan to bother asking him anything.  

“Seriously. I’m trying to understand it, but I can’t.” Mingyu tried once again, and it was Seungkwan’s turn to puff, raising his head and watching as Mingyu showed on his face that he was waiting for his friend to ask anything. Why didn’t he go to Seokmin or something? Christ.

“What? What can’t you understand?” He gave up, watching Mingyu lay on his belly and raise his feet like a fifteen year old about to gossip about their crush. He rested his head on his hands and his mouth turned into a pout while he whispered your name, so low that Seungkwan wondered if Mingyu really wanted him to listen to it or not. 

“It makes no sense. She was the one who wanted to kiss me first. She teased me. She said she liked me, so why does she say she just wants to be friends? That she wants to end it?” Mingyu started jabbering the words so fast that, had they not been friends for a long time, Seungkwan would’ve gotten lost amidst the phrase. He raised one eyebrow, and Mingyu pressed his lips against each other, realizing that he had done once more the only thing he shouldn’t - tell anyone about you and him. 

“End what?” Seungkwan asked amused, watching Mingyu almost fall out of bed trying unsuccessfully to evaporate from that bedroom and pretend he said nothing. Seungkwan’s smug face made everything worse, but ahem… he couldn’t take it back anyway, might as well just say what he had been storing in his chest and making it hurt like a bitch. 

“Our situationship.” He declared, watching carefully as Seungkwan's expression changed from teasing to curious. The blond man raised both of his eyebrows, hoping that Mingyu would continue it, and he didn’t need that much effort, as Mingyu didn’t wait for him to do anything else before continuing his monologue: “So we’ve kissed. And did other things. But she said ‘as soon as you walk through that door nothing happened’…” Mingyu tried mimicking your voice, which made Seungkwan giggle, but that didn’t make him stop. 

“... But she kept hugging me, and touching me in such a comforting way, and I don’t know, it makes me sick to not be able to hold her, it makes me physically in pain being in the room next to hers and not knock on her door and kiss her and just lay in bed with her and touch her soft soft hair. How can a person have such soft hair? She keeps saying it’s messy but to me it looks perfect all the time, it’s infuriating. And… and it makes no sense because she said she liked me. She acted like she liked me, then she said she liked me and that was the reason she wanted to stay just friends? Make. It. Make. Sense. Boo. Seungkwan.” He begged, and Seungkwan’s mouth dropped at the sudden confession.

Damn, Mingyu was not with a small crush on Kwan’s best friend like the latter had anticipated. No. No. He was in deep shit. He was as bad as Seungkwan was when it came to Vernon, and - for some strange reason - that made Seungkwan happy, because seeing Mingyu struggling with the exact same thing (or partially same thing) he was, and knowing what his advice would be, he knew for a fact what he wanted to do about Vernon. 

“She’s emotionally unavailable. Move on.” He said blatantly and Mingyu’s expression turned into the most heartbroken one he had ever seen. Seungkwan giggled loudly, slapping Mingyu softly on his arm. “I’m joking… But let me get this straight, she said with every single word that she liked you?” That wasn’t common for you. Admitting this kind of thing just indicated that, whatever Mingyu was feeling, maybe you were feeling it amplified. 

Mingyu nodded. “She said ‘this is scary’ and then something along the lines ‘i think i really like you’ and then dropped the friend bomb.” You were both so stupidly in love that it made Seungkwan sick that you were making this so hard for yourselves. Is that how people see me and Vernon? Kwanie thought to himself, imagining how pathetic he might’ve seemed for people who weren’t, as Raena would always put, emotionally constipated like you and him. 

“Ok. She really likes you. She has some… issues… with people not committing to her ever. If she said she liked you and then friendzoned you it means she likes you so much that she doesn’t want you to leave.” Seungkwan explained, and Mingyu felt life filling his chest, flourishing, felt the air turning cleaner, the day turning brighter, hope knocking on his door again. 

“I won’t leave. I don’t want to leave. Everytime I left her room I felt cold and…” 

“That was probably because you were naked, Kim Mingyu.” Seungkwan teased and Mingyu stuck his tongue out, unable to deny that very truthful phrase. “You should tell her that, not me. And like… make her believe it, don’t just say it. She’s… stubborn.” Kwan warned, seeing Mingyu starting to bite his cuticles like he would whenever he got slightly nervous. 

“How should I do that?” The older asked, watching his friend shrug and stand up from his bed, putting on his shoes and scattering his suitcase for a very specific shirt, one Vernon had gifted him on a random day, saying that he had remembered him with the shirt and - because of that - decided to buy him. That “random day” was also valentines day. 

“That’s up to you.” He answered. Seungkwan was determined: he wouldn’t let Vernon go because of his stupid fears, seeing Mingyu whine like a little boy made him sure he didn’t want Hansol to do the same, and that he also didn’t want to lose any more time. “I should go now.”

“Good look with Vernon, Kwanie.” Mingyu said, making Seungkwan stop midway and turn to him in complete shock. Have you said anything to Kim Mingyu? That little trai- “What? Jessica, Raena and I are the co-founders of Verkwan Shippers. I’m glad you’re jumping into this, Vernon really likes you, you know?” 

Seungkwan giggled once again. Of course you didn’t say shit, how crazy must’ve he had been to even consider this possibility. You were a loyal bitch. “Hope when you also take that jump you don’t fear the fall. Good luck to us, I guess?” Seungkwan asked, seeing a small fire lit up in Mingyu's eyes.

“Good luck to us.”

chapter twenty-two - walls down

“I seriously didn’t mean it.” Rae said for the twentieth time, and you just rolled your eyes behind your sunglasses. There were only two days left of the trip, and soon you’d have to deal with your current situation - jobless, aimless, maybe a bit sunburned -, but you kept pretending like that wasn’t a thing. I’ll cross that bridge when it comes to it. 

It was, to say the least, draining to keep avoiding Mingyu for the past few days, since he seemed to be set on talking to you whenever you were alone. That made you make up such lame excuses that you even wondered if you were actually good at lying in the first place. There were, in fact, many things you suddenly got bad at. Suffocating your feelings -  which used to be pretty easy for you previously - was also hard, and your heart kept loudly reminding you how fond you were of Kim Mingyu anytime he would approach. 

The schedule of the day was the pool party, but since that day where you had informed Mingyu that you two should remain friends, you didn’t get much sleep at all, unable to keep your mind shut for a split second, so you acquired the routine of waking up before everybody, walking a bit around the property and then waiting by the pool until anyone would actually wake up and keep you company. That guaranteed that you and whoever was your scapegoat for the day could keep your distance from Mingyu and his sweet eyes. 

Raena found you laying on a sun lounger, solving a crossword puzzle she had no idea where you found, and started apologizing like she had many times before. It had also been two days since the two of you had been completely alone like that. You, on the other hand, were already over it. Or, at least, over talking about it.

“Dude. Get over it. And pass me the sunscreen, I can feel my nose burning right now.” You asked, and she took the cream, tossing it your way and making clear that she was not pleased with your phrase, shoving her outraged expression in front of your eyes. 

“Don’t ‘dude’ me.” She nagged, making you giggle with the high pitched tone that she said the words in. Rae hated how fucking stubborn you could be, and she hated more the fact that she could never win in these kinds of situations. Ever since the last conversation you, her and Seungkwan had, you seemed to be avoiding every single person in that space. She wouldn’t see you during breakfast, you’d pass on the activities Seungkwan had planned using the excuse of being too sunburned to stay out, and would ignore any knocks on your door past seven p.m. “If you’re over it, why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you. Four letter word for wanting something so bad it hurts…” Rae puffed as you muffled “Ache!” while writing on the paper in front of you. You could be such a bitch sometimes, it was excruciating watching you avoid your feelings all the time. “Besides, you were right. I’m glad Kwanie took your advice this time, I saw him and Vernon being clingy yesterday, there was so much honey dripping from their eyes I almost puked. Oh! Gore!” You proceeded to write on the puzzle. 

“Fine. How have you been?” Rae gave up, and you finally took your eyes off of the small magazine-ish book on your hands, shrugging and smiling sheepishly at her. 

“You know… I’m a bit sunburned. See my red nose? I can’t touch it at all. How about you? Any news about Jessica?” Changing the subject to anything but you was your speciality, and even though Raena knew exactly what you were doing, she missed talking to you about anything at all, so she played her part for you not to shut her out again. 

“I am fucked. I can’t make a move for the life of me, everytime she approaches me I just… panic.” She confessed and you closed your crossword puzzle, finally interested in whatever she had to say. “You must drink today and work your ‘kiss her you fool’ magic that you always do when you are drunk enough, seriously.” She begged and you giggled. (B)ool Party: the one where we pretend to be on spring break and get smashed was the perfect situation for matchmaker drunk you to arise, so you agreed.

You missed talking to Rae so fucking much that you didn’t even notice other people’s presence until Seungkwan yelled at the two of you to go to the kitchen and eat before the party. It felt weird being in that crowded room after so long, and it was weirder to see Mingyu smiling at you so innocently, with his messy hair and sharp teeth, making you undone by the sheer sight of it. 

Smiling back at him was only necessary, but you didn’t expect his eyes to glimmer and his smile widen with this crumb of attention. You hated him. No. You hated how much you liked him, and how impossible it was to avoid these stupid feelings that would eventually push him away. Actually… you hated yourself. 

“Want me to cook you something?” Mingyu took your smile as a permission to approach, and you felt your insides crumbling with just the faint sweet smell that reached your nose as soon as he got close enough. Your heart was beating like crazy and you felt pathetic. Your head moved from one side to the other, denying promptly. 

“I’ll just eat some cereal, thanks Kim Mingyu.” You tried smiling again, but you couldn’t even convince yourself that it was a genuine one. However, it didn’t disheartened Mingyu even a bit, who simply agreed, taking the cereal out of the highest shelf and two medium bowls, placing them side by side on the table. 

“Ok. Get the milk then, I’ll eat it with you.” His smile was so warm it melted something inside of you. We must stay friends, so that’s something I have to get used to... his smile. You reminded yourself, doing as he said and pouring the milk inside the two bowls. You two ate in silence, and you thanked him for the company as soon as you finished, getting up to clean your bowl and getting the fuck out of there with the excuse of getting ready for the pool party. Mingyu murmured something, but you were so desperate to leave that you just ignored it, alongside the bit of curiosity that would always rise whenever he said anything.

The party started in no time, and loud music started playing from somewhere you couldn’t exactly pinpoint. As you made your way to the pool, you found Vernon and Seungwan midway. Vernon was carefully cleaning something off of your best friend’s face with his right hand while his left hand was intertwined with Kwanie’s fingers. You made the best effort you could to not be perceived, trying to not to burst their bubble, and because of that you took the longest path to the pool. 

You felt glad Seungkwan decided on giving it a chance. Vernon loved him, and he also loved Vernon, just a quick glance could make you notice how fond they were of each other. Vernon’s eyes would light up anytime Seungkwan showed up, and Seungkwan couldn’t hide a silly smile that always rose up when their eyes met. They were fucking adorable. Disgusting. 

The worst part of it was that it made you believe for a split second that things could work out like that between you and Mingyu as well. You hoped they could. You wished they would. Seungkwan’s and Vernon’s relationship made you wonder if you couldn’t be wrong just this one time. You knew you desperately wanted to be wrong. But you probably weren’t, neither wrong nor ready to make yourself vulnerable again.

Almost everyone was already at the pool when you finally got there, and Raena shoved two shots of a green beverage into your mouth without even asking anything. The liquid burned in your throat and you felt almost an instantaneous buzz from it. It was strong alcohol, you knew that much.

“Wingperson me!” Raena said with a big smile on her face, and you nodded, taking a third shot from her hands and drinking it promptly. You took her hand and made your way to where the rest of the people were dancing, starting to move from one side to the other and, to the best of your no-glasses-abilities, started scanning the place looking for Raena. 

“What are you doing?” Seungkwan approached the two of you, and you smiled at him in a way that made him sure you were already a bit drunk. You wrapped your arms around his neck and Raena’s neck, pulling them closer to you and swinging from side to side in a clumsy manner. 

“I fucking love you guys so much. You…” - You shoved your index finger on Seungkwan’s squishy cheeks before proceeding - “..are already happy, so I must make Raena happy now.” You declared, and Seungkwan giggled. “I’m wingwomaning the shit out of Raessica.” 

“Are you happy, though?” Seungkwan asked, stressing the word you and glancing quickly at Mingyu, who was with his gaze glued on you since the moment you stepped foot on that place. You first nodded, but then your head started shifting from one side to the other, denying.

“No. I’m a mess.” You quickly confessed, afraid of how blunt you had been about that. “But… I will be slightly happier when Raena kisses that damn ginger. Fuck, what is that? A slowburn 500k words fanfiction? I’ll cupid the shit out of them!” You answered. The small amount of alcohol in your body allowed you to take a quick glance at Mingyu, and you regretted it as soon as his eyes lingered on yours. Seungkwan followed your gaze, sighing almost at the same time you did. 

“Did you talk to Mingyu today yet?” He whispered, and you looked confused at him. Raena was close enough to listen, but she made the decision to pretend she didn’t, since she had no idea what that was about. You smiled half-heartedly, trying your best to pretend that it was genuine. 

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I? Oh gosh, look, there’s Jessica. C’mon my dear senpai, let me wingwoman you to your waifu.” Changing the subject was the best option, and getting Raena by the arm and ignoring Mingyu’s gaze was the best strategy you could find to avert Seungkwan’s questions and the stupid loud heartbeat coming from your chest. 

You approached Jessica dragging Rae with you. She was near the deepest part of the pool, chatting with Seungcheol, and you could see her eyes light up when you called out their attention to you and your best friend. Cheol moved swiftly to a place that made Jessica and Raena side by side, and you felt glad about how well he could read a room.

“Look who actually showed up.” Seungcheol teased you, receiving a middle finger in response, which made him giggle a bit. “If I was a little bit more soft hearted I would even say I kinda missed you, ya know?” He confessed, making you pout a bit and kiss his cheek in response. “But I’m not. So I didn’t.” He declared.

“Yeah, right…” You sneered, and Jessica giggled alongside Raena. That caught your attention to them again. You blinked at Cheol, and he grinned your way, knowing exactly what you were doing there. “Do you guys wanna play something?” You suggested, and Cheol promptly agreed, making Rae and Jessica nod their heads in synchrony. 

“How about this: We put a condition, and if it is met, we do a dare.” Cheol offered, and you looked at him confused. Alcohol made that sentence make absolutely no sense in your mind, and he rolled his eyes. “Like this: If you slap Seungkwan’s butt I’ll drink two shots at once.” He explained and you clapped excitedly. 

“Yes, yes, let’s do that. Is it on yet? I’m going to slap Kwanie’s butt.” You said, leaving them behind and doing exactly as you said you would, coming back with two shots, one in each hand, and making Seungcheol drink both one right after the other. You kept playing for a while, doing so many stupid things that mostly everyone joined the game, hoping to have as much fun as you seemed to be having. 

“Ok. My turn…” You said, looking around and noticing that no one had entered the pool yet. “Two birds with one stone, I’m hot as fuck”, you thought to yourself, smiling sheepishly at Raena and Jessica. “If you two…” Your index finger went from Rae to Jessica in a very drunk movement. “... Kiss, I’ll jump in the pool with my clothes on.” You declared, hearing a cheer behind you. Not because of your stupid dare, of course not, but because everyone was waiting for the damn day those two would finally make a move on each other. 

Rae’s cheeks turned pink, and it spreaded all the way to her ears. She turned to Jessica, ready to say that it was OK if she didn’t want to, but she was met with Jessica’s hands taking a small strand of hair off her face and gently placing her hand on her cheek before pulling in for a kiss. Seokmin’s loud scream was your cue to simply throw yourself on the pool, with your arms open and watching your friend grab Jessica’s waist on your way down. 

You felt a bit of a thermal shock when your hot skin was surrounded by the cold water, but there was barely not enough time for you to feel the water, as two strong arms grabbed you by your waist, pulling you up. That was how you found yourself inches away from Mingyu’s face, who had jumped in the pool to pick you. 

“Gyu, I was not drowning… I jumped.” You said, unintendedly dropping his nickname and feeling his grip tighten as soon as you did. He pulled you a bit closer, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. You looked up, noticing that everybody was still cheering on Rae and Jessica, who were far from your field of vision by that time. 

“I know. But I wouldn’t have another possibility to hold you like this if I didn’t jump.” He confessed, locking his eyes on yours. He was serious, and there was no trace of a smile on his face, only a burning fire on his eyes that kept dragging you in anytime you tried looking away. 

“We agreed on…” You started blabbing, but he moved his head from one side to the other. His hands were gently stroking your skin in such a familiar touch that made your whole body shiver. You shamefully drew yourself closer, letting yourself feel his sweet scent and his naturally hot body. You would blame the alcohol for it, but the wall you had built to surround yourself was so thin that his simple breathing blew the thing off, making you want to throw caution out the window and just kiss him right there.

“No. You decided and told me to do as you said.” He declared, coming close to your ear to whisper the next phrase: “Thing is… I was never very good at obeying blindly.” He left a small kiss on your neck. You had no idea if anyone had seen it, and at that moment you didn’t even care. You wanted him. You felt that word popping on your chest again. Love. And it got worse when he gently stroked your face and said the next phrase: “I really like you too, you know?”

“Stop it. You’re making me wanna do something stupid…” You begged, unable to bear the loud beating of your heart and the knots on your stomach. 

“Just because it’s stupid doesn’t mean it’s wrong…” He said before finally closing the gap between you two, and you were sure the loud cheer you heard afterwards wasn’t because of Raena and Jessica. Feeling his lips made you forget about self preservation, at least for that time. You wanted to have him just one last time.

chapter twenty-three - resolve

As soon as your eyes opened they met a sleeping Mingyu. Light was coming inside your room through a small crack on the curtain, making it easy to observe the sight right in front of you. His mouth was parted as he breathed slowly, his chest would lift until it would almost touch you, and suddenly retract again. His hair was a mess on the pillow, with few strands lost on his forehead and most of it pulled up, probably by his own hand while sleeping. His arm was resting on your waist. There was no pressure in it, as if he was just keeping it there in order to make sure you didn’t move, that you wouldn’t leave. That forsaken word flooded your heart once again: love. 

You sighed loudly, and that made Mingyu start munching air, and his arms reached out to you, wrapping around your body and pulling you closer, placing your head onto his chest and pressing his lips on the top of your head in such a subtle movement you truly believed it was just a sleepy reaction. 

Mingyu was so warm that you felt like you were melting into his arms, so you just closed your eyes shut, cherishing what you had promised yourself would be the last time you could touch him like that again. You ran your fingers through his bare skin, desperately trying to memorize his back with your fingertips, and took a deep breath, feeling his sweet scent inebriate your senses so that you could keep stroking his arms without guilt.

“Are you awake?” Mingyu’s voice was deeper and raspier than usual, indicating that he had just woken up, and you stopped moving your hands suddenly, hoping that he would believe that it was - like he had just done previously - an unconscious movement you did while sleeping. You remained static even though you wished to protest when he pulled a little bit away from you. 

When his hot breath reached your face you almost flinched, but were still able to hold it together. His proximity was very sudden, but you were resolute in pretending to be asleep and postpone the conversation you would need to have as soon as you weren’t anymore. That was, of course, until he glued his lips to yours, which made you open and widen your eyes, taken completely by surprise with that movement. You found him smirking at you, and as soon as you pouted he let a small giggled escape from his throat. 

“Yes. I’m awake.” You answered as if you hadn’t just pretended to be asleep five seconds ago. Your shameless response made Mingyu giggle loudly this time. He couldn’t help but to find every single thing you did adorable. With a silly smile on his face he closed his eyes, giving you another kiss while you were still stuck in his arms and being reciprocated by your fist hitting his arm and another pout on your face when he opened his eyes. “Kim Mingyu, we agreed…” 

“No, we didn’t. We’ve been through that before, you decided by yourself and hoped I would agree with the terms.” He nagged, sitting in the bed and glancing at you. His eyebrows were pinched and his lower lip started to stick out as he tried his best to hold the pout that was forming on his own mouth. “Thing is… I don’t agree. Can we talk about it before making any decisions? I’d like you to hear what I have to say.” Mingyu asked with a rather imposing tone in his voice, contrasting with the words that were coming out of his mouth. 

This wouldn’t work out. It never did. You knew it, you had been through that before. So what if he liked you? It would fade, it always did, and this time the fall would be too hard for you to take and to put yourself together again. You had no job to bury yourself into in order to forget, you had nowhere to put your energy. “Talking won’t change anything, Mingyu… This is just a crush, let’s…” You started mumbling, using your best lawyer voice to try and convince that man that you two should remain friends. 

“A… crush?” He was livid. How could you not understand that he was burning like a flame just by the sight of you? How could you not feel how much he wanted you and how physically in pain he’d get every single time you made him leave your room? The thing was he wasn’t going anywhere anymore. He wanted and he would stay as long as your stubborn ass would have him. Hopefully forever. “Listen, I won’t leave ok?” He snapped, running his fingers through his hair and throwing the strands behind. Why couldn’t you simply understand that he wouldn’t let you go? He didn’t want to. He couldn’t. Just thinking about it made his blood boil. “I…”

“No, Mingyu. You should leave.” You said emotionless. Your heart couldn’t take this anymore, any other word from that man and you’d abandon all of your self preservation and just throw yourself into this messy feeling. That couldn’t happen. “Leave my room now. And when you walk through that door we will forget everything that happened here. Like always. It’s my choice.” 

“You should tell her that, not me. And like… make her believe it, don’t just say it. She’s… stubborn.” Seungkwan’s words rang through Mingyu’s head. Stubborn was not even close to the resolution this woman in front of him had, but unlucky for you, he was just as stubborn when it was about something he really cared, when it was about something he truly loved. “Hope when you also take that jump you don’t fear the fall.” That memory made Mingyu smile, a small smirk showed up on his face and you shivered with the thought that maybe, just maybe, you were too harsh and now you ruined not only that… thing… the two of you had, but also the so wished friendship. 

“Ok.” Mingyu said bluntly, and you felt your breath vanish for a second. Fuck. This hurt more than you expected. Him giving up hurted much more than you could have anticipated. “As soon as I walk through that door I’ll just forget every single thing that happened here.” He said, pointing through your room’s door while getting up, and you took a deep breath, nodding your head so slowly that not even you were sure about your determination anymore. “Fine.” 

Your mouth dropped when you saw him walking towards your balcony as soon as the last word left his mouth. Tumbling from bed you followed him, too stunned to speak anything and, once more, unable to understand what on earth was going on through that beautiful head of his. 

“What… are you doing?!” You watched him tremble from head to toe as he approached the rail from your balcony, but he didn’t flinch, he just kept walking until his hands were testing out the firmness of that piece of wood. “Mingyu? What are you doing?” You asked again, but there was no response before he lifted himself up and stood on the rail. 

“AH SHIT.” He screamed, hands still shivering and head glued on the ground before him, where he was pretty sure he could fall and die at any given moment now. “You…” He started stuttering, his stupid fear of heights taking the best of him. “You said… that… when I… FUCK FUCK HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO THAT?” He looked down again, letting a squeak out before grasping the rail with both of his hands and stabilizing his body before continuing talking to you. “You said that when I leave through the door I have to forget everything, so I’m not fucking leaving through your stupid door. I FOUND A LOOPHOLE.” He screamed the word you had taught him you hated in one of your many conversations about law with a childish smile, and you simply didn’t know whether to laugh or curse him. Why the fuck was he going the extra mile for a stupid crush? 

“Ok… ok…” He said mostly to himself, standing up again, and you could see not only his hands, but also his knees shaking. “I can do this… I can do this…” Mingyu checked the height he was in and another loud squeak was verbalized before the words “I can’t do this.” He turned his gaze to you as he grabbed the rail one more time, looking you up and down. You were flabbergasted.

“Gyu, you don’t have to…”

“There’s no fucking way in hell I’ll let you leave me. I’m fucking jumping. Just… just wait a bit, ok? Give me a second.” His voice was squeaky and you took a deep breath in order to not simply cackle with the scene unraveling in front of you. Fuck that man and the way he could make you fall in love with him by being a fucking coward. “Ok. I’m going… I’m… I’m going. Now.” He squatted again, saying something to himself that you couldn’t hear, and then standing up again. 

“AAAAAAAAAAH… SHIT!” You almost couldn’t believe your eyes as you saw that six foot man throwing himself to his own porch, screaming so loudly that you were pretty sure that if someone was still sleeping before that, they weren’t now. You saw him touching every single bit of his body, making sure he landed in one piece, and panting while he did so. “I fucking did it. YA! I DID IT!” He smiled proudly at you, raising both of his arms and you smiled back. 

“Are you fucking stupid?” You asked giggling, and his smile dropped right away, as he approached the rail from his own balcony, trying to be as close as you as possible to say the words he was about to utter for the first time in his entire life. 

“No. I’m fucking in love with you, that’s what I am.” And just like that you were the one shaking, not him anymore. Love. He said it. He used that word. You stared blankly at him, and he took it as a permission to continue blabbing until you would give up on that stupid “just friends” idea. “A fucking crush? Are you out of your mind? I can’t stop thinking about you for any single second of the day. Yes, I am stupid. I was stupid when I said you’re not my type. You are totally my type. In fact, you are all that there is to my type, no one else fits it but you. I’m hopeless. I never felt this way before and it makes me feel dumb. I’m stupidly in love, yes. So stop being scared that I’ll leave you and please, for fuck’s sake, please, don’t you leave me as well, ok? I don’t think I can handle it.” 

Your breathing started to get uneven as his words started clouding your mind. It never occurred to you that the possibility of Mingyu being feeling the same things as you were real, and now that he had just blurted all those things you simply couldn’t process reality as it was. “W-what?” Was the only thing you were able to verbalize, and Mingyu rolled his eyes, and started to speak loudly, as if your difficulty in understanding was because you didn’t hear him properly, and not because of the amount of information he had just thrown your way. 

“I. Love. You. I wanna spend every single day of my life listening to you talk about snakes and explaining to me the difference between civil and common law. I want to wake up and get out of the room with you and make you breakfast, you can repay me with kisses, I don’t mind, I’m a better cook than you anyway. And I want to hold you in front of people, I want to fucking scream right now that I am completely, utterly and hopelessly in love with you. I want to fucking go back in the past and hit on you on the bar the first time we met so that we can have more time together. I want to hold you and never let you go. I want you so bad it’s driving me mad. And I know you want me too.” A silly tear ran down your chin, but you weren’t completely sure about why and how it got there. Mingyu was looking at you hopefully, and you couldn’t help but to smirk. 

“Wow, that’s… very presumptuous of you to assume.” You commented on his last declaration, and you saw his mouth drop in awe. In less than a second you pulled yourself up the rail: “Catch me.” You asked him, jumping directly to his arms. He grabbed you as tight as he could, preventing you from touching your feet on the ground, and you simply wrapped your legs around him. “You’re lucky that you are absolutely correct.” 

The bright smile that painted his face looked like the sunrise. Warm, but not blinding. Beautiful in every aspect. Something you could stare for as long as people would let you. “I fucking love you, Kim Mingyu. Loving you is the stupidest thing I’ve done this last month… and I quit my fucking job… But I don’t want to regret it anymore.”

“Yeah. Fuck, Mr. Ludovich.” He grinned, and you giggled. 

“Not that. My feelings. I don’t want to regret feeling like this anymore. Dumbass.” You stuck your tongue out, but he took the opportunity to give you a small peck on the lips. Your eyes got so small from the large smile that showed up on your face that you almost couldn’t see. “Sorry for… being stubborn, I guess?” 

“I’ll forgive you if you forgive me for telling everybody about our secret relationship later on dinner…” He raised his eyebrows and smirked like a delinquent, but you just kissed him and took your legs off of his waist, standing up without moving away from him. 

“What secret relationship? Neither of us walked through the door…”

epilogue

Every eye of the table was turned your way as you raised your glass in a slightly drunk but very happy toast. Almost everyone was there. Seungkwan was not holding back his tears as you thanked him for all his support. Raena was squeezing Jessica’s hand so hard that, had you not been too happy, you’d scold her for it. Your old friends and your new friends were all there, cheering for you as you finally reached a point in life you dreamed about for so long. 

“... The last year was far from easy. The path I had chosen long ago finally opened itself to me, and I could never have the courage to pursue it if it wasn’t for each and every single one of you sitting in front of me right now. Apart from Minghao, of course, you judgemental bitch.” A loud cackle erupted on the table, as Minghao stood up and made a small courtesy bow. He was, in fact, one of the biggest reasons for you to stand there at that moment and he knew that. 

After getting into the Photography Major, Minghao, who was also in the same area, would often help you with works, give hints and critiques to your pictures and, overall, help you mold your style to the way it was currently. He single handedly chose almost every picture you had exposed that day on your first exposition, and was the reason why it was so successful. 

You finished your toast, and the whole bar cheered alongside your friends, probably too drunk to do anything but to scream when somebody else would do it, and before you knew Raena was approaching the table with a tray of shots and a smiley face. 

“Look at that handsome man getting into the bar, he looks like he’s your type.” Seungkwan said slyly, pointing with his head to the tall man with honey skin getting into the bar with a lost gaze and furrow eyebrows. You winked at your friend, getting up and walking straight to the place he had pointed before. As you approached the entrance he smiled at you, showing his little fangs and scrunching his nose just a bit. 

“Hey, handsome. How about we… smooch smooch?” You asked with a juvenile smile and he giggled, putting his arms around your waist and leaving a small kiss on your lips. 

“I’m sorry, I have a girlfriend.” Mingyu said jokingly and you just kissed him back, thankful that he finally arrived at your post-exposition party. 

“You’re super late, you know?” You nagged, and you could feel him rolling his eyes back before taking his arms off of your waist and holding your hand tightly. 

“Babe, you know your mother loves me. It took me forever to take them home and convince her I should get going. Besides, I got to the exposition before you even got there, so if anything I was super early today.” Your mother insisted that Mingyu was the one to take her and your father home before going to the bar, and you knew for a fact that he was not exaggerating when he said he had to convince her that it was time for him to leave. Maybe your mother liked Mingyu more than she liked you, but you would never ask, you didn’t need that answer just yet. 

“Maybe you taking them was a bad idea…” You started making your way to the table where Seungcheol was throwing back not only his shot, but the one that was right in front of your chair while Raena scolded him for it. 

“Sometimes we need a bad idea.” His tone was mischievous and you couldn’t help but to look at him and see his expression, like a child who had just done something terrible and wanted you to find out. “For instance…”, he let go of your hand, reaching out to his back pocket and taking something out of it. “... I was able to ask your parents if it was ok for me to do this, and your mother loved the place by the way.” 

“P-place?” You were confused, trying to peek at whatever was in his big hands without much success. Mingyu simply nodded, opening his fist slowly and showing you a pair of keys. 

“I was serious when I said two years ago that I couldn’t stand being away from you. Let’s move in together. The place has the porch you wanted and I bought some allergy medicines so I can survive being around the cat we’ll adopt.” That man wasn’t real. He couldn’t be. That love couldn’t be real as well, everything was just so easy with Mingyu that each day you found yourself more and more in love with him. You wrapped your arms around him and that clumsy man in front of you dropped the damn keys, but neither of you minded, neither this nor the loud cheer your friends gave without even knowing what was going on. 

“You are so fucking stupid. And I love you so fucking much.” You said with your head buried in his neck, and Mingyu giggled because of the soft touch of your mouth on his skin. 

“Is that a yes?” His puppy eyes looked at you hopeful, and you nodded your head.

“When was I ever able to say no to you?”

the real final notes (again)

i don't have much else to say other than thank you for reading if you got this far, i hope you can enjoy reading this fanfiction as much as i did writing it <3

let's see each other in my next work, shall we? :)

[sprainedwriting]

Softness within.

Adam x fem!reader

Part 1

CW/TW/Tags: Porn, Car sex, Semi Public, P in V, TW: Adam, COLLEGE AU!!!!, oral fem receiving, tell me if I missed smth, I wrote this at 2 am help me, breeding kink, pregnancy mention

Summary: Adam is either very charismatic or you don’t have a spine.

Adam ended up driving you home, after you punched in your address in his navigation system it didn’t take long for you to pass out. Shaking you awake, you scrambled out of Adam’s car, but sadly you weren’t fast enough since you still had to listen to Adam rant to you about the shit hole of a neighbourhood you live in.

He didn’t drive off till you safely entered your building.

Once you got home you didn’t even have the energy to get undressed, you barley took off your shoes and you were already in your bed. Pros of having a one bedroom apartment: the way to the bed is very short.

When you woke up everything felt like a fever dream. It felt so unreal, you were sure it was a weird sex dream coming up because of your repressed consciousness or whatever. You quickly threw away this theory, once you got into the shower. Ew. Having cold cum run down your thighs was not it.

Right so that happened. For real. Totally couldn’t potentially ruin your social life. That’s cool.

Checking your phone, you found texts messages from your friends. Since you all share locations they were happy to see you home after disappearing. Some kidnap jokes were made. You didn’t bother responding.

And just like that your life continued and you tried not to think of Adam anymore. Since you aren’t in the same friend group, don’t study the same subjects, and you’re just a master of avoiding awkward situations you didn’t see him the past 2 weeks. During these 2 weeks Adam found your insta, snapchat AND your phone number. In that order. At this point you wouldn’t be surprised if he found your secret AO3 account or something and started to spam you full with comments.

Him actually actively looking for you made you feel some type of way….and once those thoughts reached you, you basically slapped yourself. You have always sucked at responding to messages, your friends just call you when they need you. You didn’t even properly read Adam’s messages, leaving him on delivered. These messages caused you so much anxiety, that you immediately swiped them away in your notifications field when you saw them pop up.

Another thing you were worried about was that your period was 2 days late, which isn’t a lot considering you took Plan B and it messes with your hormones but it still had you on edge so bad. You ended up buying a pregnancy test, which you didn’t end up needing. Thank god.

The last weekend party you skipped. Sitting at home and catching up with work was how you spend your weekend. And once you saw everyone post the party on their stories and the messages in your group chats, your FOMO kicked in so hard that you had to attend the next one. So, here you were leaning against a wall with some cheap soda in your hand, because you don’t drink since you’re boring. And like always when you’re at a party, you realised you didn’t actually miss out on much.

If you could, you would scroll away at your phone. What’s stopping you? Easy:

Adam starring at you from across the room. Tots not uncomfortable. Starring at your phone now would be like throwing a rock at an sleeping ice bear. Since you basically ignored him for 2 weeks straight. You really know how stand in your own way. Some part of your brain told you not to provoke him too much.

Ok you were just going to run away this is ridiculous. Taking a good look around on how you could escape (your friends were going to murder you for disappearing AGAIN) you jumped nearly 10 feet into the air when you felt big hands on your hips and a body pressed against your back. The only logical reaction to this was to step on the guys foot and throw your drink at his face.

“Ow! What the fuck, you crazy bitch?” Adam yelled.

How the fuck was he able to get to you that fast? Without you noticing?? He’s so big what??

“Jesus, dude! You can’t sneak up on a girl like that!” You yelled back.

Thankfully not many eyes were on you guys, and the music was loud so people yelling to communicate wasn’t unusual.

Adam whipped the soda of his face, looking pissed. Thankfully there wasn’t much left in your cup anyways, the top part of his band shirt was only slightly soaked. Act cool, act casual. Crossing your arms over your chest you looked at him expectantly.

Even though he looked mad a second ago, taking in the sight of you seemed to cheer him right back up. Maybe it’s because of your short skirt.

He leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Wanna get out off here?” Shit. Goosebumps from excitement crawled all over your skin. He smelled like the sweet soda, but also like deep cologne. Ah, you’re so so weak.

“Always.” The words left your lips before you could truly think about it.

Adam smirked down at you, placing a hand at the small of your back he started to lead you out of the house party.

That’s how you ended up in Adam’s car, while he zipped around town, trying to find a secluded place, his hand was up your skirt massaging messy circles into your clothed pussy. You on the other hand were spreading your legs further apart, trying and failing to muffle your moans. Even though it was at most 2 minutes, it felt like it took Adam hours to park the car. You clawed at his wrist, trying to get more stimulation out of him.

He reached a hand under his seat, sliding it back from the wheel as far as possible, while also reclining the back of the seat.

“Holy shit, babe.” Adam mumbled out, he reached across to grasp your ass with both his hands hoisting you up and successfully into his lap. Once you sat down on his lap you could feel his bulge right under your pussy. You gave it an experimental roll of your hips. Adam bit his lower lip, his hand flew to your hips, helping you grind down on him.

Grasping at his shoulders, you smashed your own lips into his, trying to steal his breath. Fucking hell, you don’t think you have ever carnally desired anyone as much as him. Adam was still grinding your cunt unto his dick by your hips while he explored your mouth with his tongue freely.

Once the kiss stopped so you could breathe, Adam took the opportunity to rip your tights apart, to have better access towards your private parts.

“Man! Why did you do that? You better buy me new ones, asshole.” You told him frustrated.

“Chillax, baby, I will buy you even better ones if it means you let me hit.” Fucker.

Adam pushed your wet panties to the side, gently easing in a finger, “So tell me. Who else did you fuck after me?” His words were anything but gentle.

“Shit..No one. I..I swear, Adam.” You spoke through gasps. His thumb started to stroke your clit.

With his other hand Adam roughly grasped your jaw into his hand, starring into you with his golden eyes. They reminded you of that of a hawk. He didn’t look too convinced.

“Please, Adam, only you can make me cum.” You whimpered out.

Adam grinned at you at your words, “Ain’t that the truth. You better start answering your fucking messages then, slut.” Another finger was entered into your hole, he curled them upwards, hitting sensitive spots which made you moan shamelessly.

“Bad…at replying.” You mumbled out.

Adam rolled his eyes at you, “Yeah, right, give me a better excuse and I might let you cum.”

It’s not a bad excuse, it’s your reality. Even though your screentime was embarrassingly high, messages were your personal final boss. Using both your hands to run them down the sides of your thighs, your right hand met the pocket garter you wear when you’re wearing a skirt, or dress. Pulling out your phone with one brain cell intact is one thing, but unlocking it is a whole other. Pulling up the messages app, shoved the device into his face. He can read. You think. You hope.

Once he stopped grasping at your jaw so roughly, you massaged the tense muscles. Adam scrolled through your chats, he looked very interested. You caught the glimpse of a chat from last year. Yikes.

Laying your head against his shoulder, you started kissing at his neck. You still had fucking hickeys and bite marks from him! Asshole. Adam left your messages app and was investigating your social media now. He looked through your phone like a man on a mission. If you had at least half your mind you would have already stopped him. But the happier he was at your innocence the more intensely he did rub circles into your clit, turning you to mush.

Throwing your phone on the passenger seat- if it bounces off and breaks or gets lost you were going to kill him- Adam placed a hand at the back of your head, starting another forceful kiss. While your tongues were busy, Adam eased the third finger into you. He pumped them in and out of you, testing the resistance. Taking him unprepared would be a really stupid idea.

With a well placed tug of your hair, Adam pulled you slightly away from him, “It’s fucking hot babe, how you ignore other people. Really. But shit, I need you to answer my fucking messages. I’m not like those other fucking clowns you keep around. Got it?” You quickly nodded your head at him, whatever gets him inside of you.

Slowly pulling out his fingers out of you, one by one, he licked a strip up his fingers while looking into your eyes. He pulled down his jeans zippers, pulling out his leaking dick. He gave himself a few good pumps with his soiled hand. Is he not wearing any underwear?? Yikes.

“Now, sit down on my fucking dick.” Adam smirked at you.

A moment of clarity hit you when you remembered the unused pregnancy test you have hidden away.

“Wait! Do you have a condom?” You looked hopefully at Adam.

He looked at you like you just ruined Christmas, easter and his birthday all at once, “What the fuck do we need that for?”

“I’m not interested in pregnancy. Today is not safe.” You told him, you tried to sound stern.

“You would look hot as fuck though, with swollen tits and a swollen stomach. You sure you don’t want me to cream you while you’re ovulating? Besides, it went well last time, didn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow at you. The gold piercing was reflecting the light of the street lamp outside.

His hand were rubbing at your hips, wandering further up till he helped you take off your sweater. You didn’t bother wearing anything under it because bras suck. He smiled at the sight of your bare chest as if he just won the lottery. He really was moody.

“I’m serious! I bought a fucking pregnancy test, I was so stressed last time.” Adam didn’t even bother looking into your eyes again, his huge hand pulling and rubbing at your nipples and chest. You had to bit your lip to keep from moaning. You had to be strong, at least once. You also really needed to finish this degree without getting pregnant.

“See babe? That’s what you need my number for. So you can fucking tell me that shit.” Adam made brief eye contact with you, before he leaned forward and started sucking at your nipple. His teeth carefully bit down. Your hands tangled themselves up in Adam’s hair. Because Adam pulled you forward for easier reach, your pussy ended up rubbing across Adam’s length. The groan which left his lips made your tit vibrate deliciously.

He really knows how to play you. With his hands he grasped your ass, massaging it before he dragged you across his dick. Your clit caught at his dick piercing, causing you to call out for Adam.

And if you had half a mind, you would simply open up the car door and climb out, to really make your point clear. And Adam would drag you back in, while complaining and get a condom somewhere (hopefully). But the risk of him actually letting you leave was not something you wanted. You just really needed to have him fill you up.

Tugging at his hair, he removed his mouth from your boob. He smiled at you, “Finally ready to get dicked down, baby?” Adam asked you in that arrogant tone of his.

Your own hands wandered across Adam’s chest, till you finally tugged at the bottom of his shirt, trying to take it off. Adam slightly sat up, removing his shirt and throwing it on the passenger seat. Fully taking in his tan olive skin, you realised just how hot he truly is. There was a scar across his right ribcage, his nipple piercing just made him 100 times more attractive, his ample stomach made you want to straight up cannibalise him while his happy trail made your mouth water. What a man.

Grasping his cheeks into your hands, you tilted his head up so he could properly look at you. Your thumb grazed over his lips, “Adam, sweetie..” You cooed down at him. You felt his dick twitch under you, “Don’t you want me to ride you till you’re sucked dry? I can only do that if you get a condom. C’mon…” His eyes were starring into your own.

Adam grasped your wrists into his hand, removing your hands from his cheeks. His face didn’t show any ounce of emotion. Ah, maybe that was the wrong move. Before regret could fully set in, Adam started swearing under his breath. He leaned forward suddenly, a surprised gasp leaving your mouth, while he rummaged through the glove department. Successfully he pulled out a condom, while probably also cursing you.

He leaned his back properly against the seat, ripping open the condom package with his teeth. Adam then glided the condom on his dick, after you scooted back to give him some space. Once he made sure everything was secured, you leaned forward to kiss him again. His hands were grasping your hips, his fingers digging into the plushy flesh.

Once the kiss stopped, you grasped Adam’s dick, lining it up with your pussy.

During your two week Adam break, you really told yourself that that would be a one time thing. That next time you would say no to him. That you don’t really need him or his attention and touch and whatever else he can give you. Well, you’re also a big fat liar so there is that.

Placing your own hand on Adam’s hand, you tugged it off to intervene your finger. Biting down at your lip you slowly glided down on Adam’s dick. Your other hand was placed on his shoulder, nails digged into this skin.

Slowly sliding down on him, your mouth fell open at the stretch. Adams eyes were focused on your pussy swallowing him whole, “You take me so well.” He groaned out.

Once you were fully sat down on Adam’s cock, you panted in the stuffy air. Taking a glance to your right, you saw the windows were all fogged up. At least you have the illusion of privacy.

Adam’s hand moved from your hip to your ass, grabbing at the fat and massaging it. He slowly rocked your hips back and forth with that movement. His other hand squeezed your intervened fingers, he then pulled your hand towards his mouth. Kissing your finger tips while looking into your eyes.

Ah. Why does everything he do make your head spin? Did he do fucking witchcraft or something on you??

Grasping with your hands both his shoulders, you started rocking your hips back and forth. First at an slow and careful speed, but then you started going faster. Till you started going properly up and down on him. Adam’s hand went to your tit, fondling and pinching, while his other hand moved from the back of your neck towards the top of your head. You stopped questioning Adam’s behaviour a while ago.

“If I knew you looked so hot on top, I would have let you ride me immediately last time.” Adam told you, his eyes were jumping all across your body, it seemed like he couldn’t decide where he wanted to look, “But damn, babe, we really need to get you on birth control.”

“S’expensive.” You mumbled out.

Your forehead meet his neck. Maybe you should exercise more, the burn in your thighs was getting intense.

“..You getting tired there, baby?” A breathy chuckle left his lips.

Adam forced your movements to stop, to sit down properly with his hand moving to your hip. He smirked at you, probably knowing he was going to give you another unforgettable experience. Why couldn’t he have been average in everything he does? Noooo, he had to blow your mind away. Damn him and his solid experience.

Adam started thrusting up into you. First at a slow and deep pace. getting you used to the sensation, then he went faster and faster. His piercing scrapped against a sensitive spot in you.

“Right there!” You gasped into his neck, you then started to kiss and suck at his skin. Leaving your own mark. His one hand was still on top of your head, massaging your scalp and playing with your hair.

Thankfully Adam is decent at following orders, he kept up his pace, hitting the spot over and over. You could feel an orgasm approaching. You were probably straight up moaning against Adam’s ear, but he doesn’t seem to complain.

“I can promise you, baby, ‘m gonna get you whatever you want as long as ya going to be my lovely cum dump.” He mumbled out.

Woah orgasms and meaningless consumption??? Your two favourite things!

All you could muster was a whine. Because that was a big commitment. Maybe you’re going to ghost him again. An extra rough thrust made you see stars, and the ghosting idea left your mind and maybe you should marry him and be a housewife and give him as many children as he wants.

You threw your head back at the feeling of overwhelming pleasure and- ah, that’s why he had his hand on top of your head, when you slightly crashed your head into the car roof. It was more shock than anything else, but it still scared the orgasm out of you. Damn it.

Adam stopped his movement’s, his brows were furrowed at your scrunched up face. His hand rubbed at your head in concern, “You good?”

You nodded your head at him, looking into his eyes with your own teary ones, “..I lost my orgasm.” You mumbled out in the most pathetic voice imaginable. To your own defence, it is the worst thing to happen to you today.

Adam looked at you with a blank look for a split second, before laughing at you. You hid your own face behind your hands, embarrassment cursed through your veins. You’re stupid. Why did you say that?

With the way Adam was laughing at you, you felt his dick jump inside of you, which in turn made you clench around him. Adam grasped your wrists into his hand, yanking them down and he smiled at you like a wolf.

“Well..Who am I to say no to my favourite slut? You want to cum? I’m going to make you cum.”

Why is he so hot!!!! You were going to smash your head again into the car roof.

You already thought his pace before was intense. Now? It was brutal. The scraping of his piercing, his hands on your hips and ass, his dick stretching you apart, his stubble rubbing against your soft skin. His constant fucking talking.

“Ugh, babe, you got such a tight cunt. Squeezing me. And you say you don’t want me to cum inside? Ha. Yeah, right.” Adam started rocking your hips back and forth, your clit was rubbing against his jeans.

“‘M more surprised you haven’t got anyone pregnant with that raging breeding kink of yours.” You whimpered into his ear, then you bit into his ear lobe. That was more to be annoying than sexy, but with the way he groaned and his dick twitched inside of you it seemed like it had the opposite effect.

You really would have missed his words, if you weren’t paying attention enough,

“You the only one I wanna get pregnant. Those other whores don’t deserve to have my cum.”

Why do you feel flattered….Something is really, deeply off about you. You need to up your medication.

It felt like hot flames were pooling in your lower stomach, you felt intense, near painful tingles on your clit and thanks to Adam’s constant rhythm of your clit rubbing against the rough fabric of his jeans it wasn’t a surprise that an orgasm washed over you. Your nails dug into Adam’s biceps while you squeezed around his cock.

“Fucking hell, you wanna milk me dry, huh?” Adam groaned, and with a few hip thrust of his own he came. You kinda missed the feeling of his hot cum shooting into you, but you would take that knowledge to your grave.

You rested your face into the crook of Adam’s neck, trying to regulate your breathing. Your legs felt like jelly. Adam was also breathing heavily, his hands rubbed up and down on your back. He stayed inside of you.

Realistically you knew that he had to pull out, to keep the contraceptive working but on the other hand..You just wanted to stay like that. Having Adam not talk for once was a relaxing change. And having his big warm hands on your back, which was starting to cool down, was just pure bliss.

“..You know, we could always do the pull out method.” He mured into your ear, trying to sound seductive.

You couldn’t help but snort at his words, “Yeah, sure, look me in the eyes and tell me you could pull out of this.” You lifted up your one knee, your skirt was lifted up by it and it gave Adam a clear view of your filled up pussy.

Adam couldn’t even look you in the eyes too mesmerised apparently by the sight, it was emphasised by Adam’s dick coming back to life again, twiching and growing inside of you.

“..Shit, you’re right.” Adam grasped your waist and lifted you off off him. He removed the condom, tied it up and threw it somewhere carelessly on the backseat floor. Yikes again.

He rubbed at his chin, probably thinking of what to do next with you. With a hot flash across your body you remembered his promise from last time. Thinking of it, you could fit on the floor in between his legs. Maybe. It would be uncomfortable but you also seemingly have no self respect so what does that matter?

“Get in the back seat.” Adam told you, you nodded at his words. Ok. You can crawl over there. Adam gave a light slap to your ass and chuckled at your surprised gasp. Successfully making it back there, you made sure not to step on the discarded condom. Why is he like that?

Adam grabbed another condom, since he was too big for anything really, he couldn’t crawl back there like you. Instead, he used the doors, like a normal person. Couldn’t be you.

Your head was against the window, and when Adam opened the door car door and crawled onto the seat and flashed that smirk of his you knew you were a goner. Out of seemingly instinct your legs slightly opened. Adam closed the door behind him- yay to the illusion of privacy!- and then he grabbed your ankle and tugged your roughly towards him.

A surprised gasp left your lips, you were laid down now, with Adam towering over you. He once again secured the condom, then he bent down to kiss you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, keeping he secured against you. His left arm was supporting his weight against the seat, caging you in, while the other hand was sensually moving from your stomach towards your pussy. He drew patterns into your pubes which made you squirm uncomfortably. Maybe you should start shaving. He then rubbed his thick fingers across your slit, probably checking if you were still wet enough for him. He grazed your clit and it made your whole body jolt.

“Every time a girl shaves her pussy an angel dies. I swear on it.” Adam mumbled out. If those words were meant for only him or if he noticed you being uncomfortable, you didn’t known. But it made you feel somewhat more comfortable.

Adam lined up his super duper magic dick against your entrance and slowly pushed it in. You wrapped your one leg around him, since the other was squished between his body and the seats.

With slow and deep thrusts Adam rocked against you, now you realised how much the car must have moved. The pleasure was building slowly but surely. Adam was quite for once. Pussy so good it shut Adam up?? You’re sure you can put that on your resume.

You wrapped your hand around Adam’s bicep, to steady yourself. You squeezed the soft flesh, looking mesmerised at his big arms. He smiled down at you and flexed his muscles, making them rock hard. You squeezed again and swore under your breath. At this display you remembered actual strong men, and how fat is needed for muscles to be functional and you remembered seeing Adam carrying 2 heavy ass amplifiers on his shoulders as if that was nothing and oh. You need him. Badly. Thankfully you have him.

Using your one hand which was at the back of his neck, you pulled him down to you. Teeth clashing and tongues dancing and spit getting everywhere. It was all consuming and still not enough.

Once the kiss ended, Adam rested his own forehead against yours. You worried for his neck and the constant way he has to twist and bend it to reach you. You gazed into each others eyes, mouths panting into each other and the street light from outside let warm light flow in. It felt like you couldn’t avoid Adam, he was wrapped over you, completely covering you from every angle and he was inside of you, throbbing and twitching. You were breathing in the same air. And you didn’t want him to leave, if you could you would capture this moment and stay here forever.

Why does this feel romantic?

It seemed like you weren’t the only one who thought that, since Adam straighten his back suddenly, as if he forgot what you are to him.

When you looked up into his endless eyes, he was slightly frowning, but that expression changed as soon as it came. Maybe you imagined it.

He grabbed your face roughly and forced your mouth to open wide for him. You let your tongue roll, and rubbed his thumb against it. Hot. He removed his tongue only to spit into your mouth. That’s also hot??

You closed your mouth to swallow his spit.

He seemed rather satisfied with that. He sped up the pace, skin slapping against skin and your moans and gasp and his grunts and string of loosely connected words which you weren’t paying attention to left his mouth. His smug face kind of pissed you off, so you reached out and twisted his pierced nipple.

Adam stifled his own moan by biting down on his lip. But the pleasure he felt from that, he couldn’t hide from you.

And once Adam came, he bit down on your neck. Great! More marks you will have to hide. Ughhh.

The way Adam immediately slowly pulled out of you surprised you. He seemed to enjoy staying in as long as possible. Your brain was a bit to slow to catch up with Adam’s movement. His face disappeared between your thighs, under your skirt and ah-

“Wait. You don’t have to…” Your sentence was interrupted by your own moan.

Adam’s lips latched around your clit and he sucked. Hard.

Overstimulation immediately cursed through your veins, your fingers found themselves at home in Adam’s hair and you tugged. Nails massaging Adam’s scalp, this is probably what heaven felt like.

His tongue traced idle patterns into your clit. Probably spelling his own name again…Asshole. But since you were already close when Adam was fucking into you romantic missionary style, you came with a sob and your body curled into itself. You tugged Adam away from your overstimulated hole. The fact that you were clenching around nothing made you a bit sad.

“If I ever say no to fucking you, honey pot, I need you to take me out the back and shoot me in the head.” Adam told you matter of fact.

You dumbly nodded at his words. Whatever he wants he can get. Genuinely.

“How are you so good at everything?” Your already barley existent filter was gone now in a post orgasmic haze.

Adam laughed at you, “What can I say, I’m a real pussy pleaser.” He sat properly up in the seat, tugging everything away properly. He must have thrown the condom away when your brain was still mush. Reaching over he grasped your arm and dragged you into his lap.

Once you rested your face against your shoulder, bare skin against bare skin and the heat radiating from his body you felt sleep over come you. Adam grasped your shoulders and shook you awake. Literally. You thought you were going to fall on the nasty floor where your guys used condoms laid around. At least the only condoms there were yours?

“You fallin' asleep on me again, baby?”

“Yes. So. Silence, m’tired.” You barley mumbled out. Throwing your head into Adam’s neck again.

“Get back to the passenger seat, slut. I’m driving you home.”

Groaning as if Adam just killed you, you crawled to the front again. There you also put your sweater back on and pocketed your phone. Your keys were also safe with you. That’s good, you love not being locked out. You adjusted your panties while you were at it.

Resting your head against the window, you closed your eyes again while Adam got back into the drivers seat. Turning on the engine, he started driving towards your home.

Since you were half asleep, it felt like it took a second for Adam to arrive in front of your apartment complex. You mumbled out a tired ‘Thanks for the ride.’ and climbed out of the seat.

“You know usu-“

You slammed the door shut before Adam could finish that sentence. The plan was to act like you didn’t hear him. Simply walking towards the entrance, you opened the door and opened it fully by pressing your side against it. You couldn’t care less about the usual. The less you knew of other girls the happier you are.

You looked back at the car, to at least wave Adam bye or something, but when you saw him slam his head against the wheel you stopped in your tracks. You watched the display of his frustration for a few seconds, he then raised his head, probably to check if you got in safely. He froze in horror when he realised you saw that.

Truth be told, you didn’t think Adam was capable of embarrassment. But here he was.

Holding eye contact for a painful second, you simply shook your head and quickly got inside. Walking up the stairs towards your apartment, you unlocked the door, threw off your shoes and collapsed into your bed.

———————————-

Since you usually keep your word, you started texting Adam back whenever you could. At least that seemed to make him happy. You think. It’s hard to tell over text. You also made an appointment with your obgyn, or as Adam called it your ‘Pussy doctor’. You’re close to blocking him.

On Monday, you walked with your friend towards her car in the uni parking lot. You were going to meet up with your other friends for lunch.

Of course Adam was also there, his car parked right across your friend. Gahh. His band members were with him, he just unlocked the car when everyone tumbled in. You could hear your ex call out, “Dude, what the fuck?! Are those used condoms!?”

You were going to kill Adam and then yourself. WAS HE WINKING AT YOU?? He’s dead. Thankfully no one noticed.

Your friend made a face at that info being yelled out across the parking lot, she unlocked her own car and got in. You didn’t hear more from the exchange, but from the way Adam looked happy you knew he was taunting your ex.

Your friend fastened her seatbelt, “I don’t get how anyone can fuck Adam. Like, he’s so disgusting, disrespectful, misogynistic..”

Biting at your lip, you already knew your friends would be mad at you if they found out about you and Adam from someone else besides you. Looking around the car, to make sure the windows were really closed, you took a deep breath.

Adam was in his own car, signalling to her that she has the right of way. She made a quick thank-you-wave and was about to back out of the parking space.

“I did.”

She slammed into the breaks, causing you to be catapulted forwards. The way she starred at you without saying anything, made you uncomfortable. She was speed running all the stages of grief, you could clearly see that. She sighed heavily, like the whole world was resting on her shoulders with your confession.

“……..Is he really that big?”

[vladajwrites]

Razor’s Edge

Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four

Summary; Reader moves to Woodsboro for her senior year of high school. This story take place in the setting of the Scream 4 movie. This story is dedicated to all of the girls living through the current Rory Culkin revival. I love and see you. <3

Also available to be read on AO3 here

It's imperative for me to mention MAJOR trigger warnings for this story; blood, violence, sexual content, alcohol usage, and mentions of abusive situations and suicide. I will add and edit tw's as needed.

WC; 5851

Notes; thank you to everyone who has shown their support so far and taken the time to read my work, you are the ones who truly keep me motivated to write. much much love <33

(Not Beta Read)

You woke the next morning in the same t-shirt you had worn the day before, clinging to your skin from cold sweat. Your pants had been kicked off at some unknown point during the restless night of sleep you had. It was hard to recall the exact time you had eventually passed out on top of your bed.

Your phone was ringing somewhere underneath your pillow, causing your entire head to buzz. You groaned, wiping the sleep from your eyes. Irina’s name flashed on the screen as the caller on the other line. You answered the call, pressing the speaker button before dropping your phone on your chest.

“Hi honey, just wanted to let you know my flight made it into Sacramento.” Irina spoke. The passersby’s in the busy airport nearly muffled her voice. 

You picked up your phone again, looking at the time. How late had you slept in? The digital clock read 11:03 am. 

“Okay, I’m glad you made it safely.” You were certain your aunt could hear the rasp of your morning voice.

Irina hummed on the other line. “Just give me a call if you need anything while I’m away.” 

“Will do, love you.” You replied, clearing your throat before responding. 

“I love you too.” Irina replied before ending the call. 

You stared up at your ceiling for a moment, thinking over the events of last night. 

You couldn’t help but feel horrible for Charlie. Were he and his father close? Was his mother around? Did he have any siblings, relatives he was close with? So many questions seemed to fill your thoughts. Though, you knew they were questions that would more than likely go unanswered. It would be an awful choice, you decided, to bring up this suspected trauma unprompted. 

Maybe you could try to divulge more information from your aunt. Based upon her reaction, she must have been relatively close to his father at some point in time. Remembering back to the somber expression your aunt wore last night, you decided against that idea as well. 

You thought back on the relationship you had with your own father. He was an objectively miserable man. How would you have reacted, though, if you had lost him under the same circumstances? It would have surely still been devastating to some degree. 

You’d keep your newfound information to yourself for the time being. It was the only reasonable option you could think of. You were certain Charlie wouldn’t want you to treat him any differently after finding out about what had happened.

The familiar buzz of your phone’s ringer pulled you momentarily from your running thoughts. You grabbed your phone, pushing yourself up into a sitting position on your bed, your legs crossed closely in front of you. 

A message from an unsaved number appeared on the screen. You recognized it almost immediately as being Charlie’s from the group chat the night before. Only he hadn’t messaged both you and Robbie. It was only sent to you. 

You sucked in a sharp breath as you unlocked your phone. The message read, “Hey, Robbie wanted me to let you know he woke up feeling sick and won’t be able to make it tonight.” 

Your face fell into a frown as you read over the message again, your thumbs hovered over the keyboard as you thought up a response. 

Another message from Charlie arrived moments later. “He said he’d take over any revisions if you and I would still be willing to finish the presentation tonight.”

The corner of your lips twitched up into a half smile. Now that you and Charlie were on seemingly good terms again, there shouldn’t be any issue with just the two of you working on this together. 

Your fingers unknowingly found themselves twisted through your hair as you typed your response. “Works for me. Same time and place?” 

Charlie sent his response almost instantly. “Yeah, sounds good.” 

You had quite a bit of time to spare until 7pm rolled around. You went through your weekend routine as usual, cleaning up as you went throughout the home. By 6pm you had showered and pulled yourself mostly together. As you stood in front of your bathroom mirror, running your fingers through your drying hair, a new thought crept into your mind. You couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to run your fingers through Charlie’s mess of hair. 

Your skin burned hot as you dropped your hands at your sides. You couldn’t bring yourself to look back up at your own reflection. 

You couldn’t shake the thought as you made your way into the kitchen downstairs. You stared blankly into the pantry, your thoughts elsewhere. 

Of course, you had always believed there was something charming about Charlie’s character. He was objectively good looking, at least you had thought so. But, thinking back on those few moments you shared alone with him on the porch the night before, there was just something- something about him was strikingly beautiful. 

You bit at your lip, squinting your eyes as you pulled your thoughts together. You reminded yourself that the last thing you wanted to do at the moment was become wrapped up in unrequited crushes and feelings similar to the sort. It was just easier on your own. You had come to this conclusion years ago. It was understandably difficult to trust others, impossible to let anybody in. 

Just as you were about to shut the pantry door, your eyes caught a glint in the back of the pantry, just behind a bag of sugar. You reached forward, grabbing the bottle in your hands. 

You turned over a bottle of red wine, scanning the label quickly. 

You hummed to yourself, setting the bottle on the kitchen counter. You stared it down for a moment, tapping your foot against the hardwood flooring. 

You had no clue how long it had been stuffed away back there. Surely your aunt wouldn’t miss it too terribly. You glanced up at the clock above the stove which read 6:44pm. A small glass wouldn’t hurt anything, just something to dispel your faltering nerve. 

You dug through the kitchen drawers, searching for a bottle opener. Just as you popped the cork, a knock at the front door rang through the home. ‘Shit.’ You steadied yourself, nearly knocking the bottle off the counter. 

You thought you would have had at least a few more minutes to yourself. You quickly made your way to the front door, taking a deep breath before turning the handle. 

Charlie stood in front of you. One hand buried in his front pocket, the other holding the strap of his backpack over his shoulder. You held the frame of the door, following his line of sight to your bare legs. You felt your face grow hot. You hadn’t realized just how much of your oversized t-shirt covered the small shorts you wore underneath.

You quickly pulled your t-shirt up, holding it against your stomach. “Shorts, promise.” God, why were you acting like this? 

Charlie swallowed, looking up to meet your eyes. “Yeah, right.” There was a moment of quiet passed between the two of you. Charlie’s eyes drifted just past you into the entryway.

“Oh, right. Come in.” You pushed the door open further for him. He followed you inside, stepping beside you as you locked the door behind him. 

He turned to head towards the living room. Without giving it much thought, you interjected. “We can go up to my room.” You motioned up the stairs, watching as Charlie stopped in his tracks.

“Your room? Your aunt won’t mind?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he kicked his shoes off.

“Oh no, she wouldn’t mind. She’s out of town this weekend, anyway.” You replied.

Charlie froze for a moment, looking up the stairs past you. He met your eyes again before responding. “Cool, yeah. Your room sounds great.”  

You smile down at him, leading him up the staircase. 

“Well, this is it,” you shrugged. “Just put your stuff anywhere you’d like.” You finished, motioning around the room. 

You picked your bag off the ground and climbed into your bed, moving close to the wall. Charlie placed his stuff on the desk beside your bed before dropping himself into the adjoining chair. You began pulling out your things, watching as he intently did the same. He seemed so incredibly focused on the things in front of him. Neither of you spoke. 

As you opened your laptop to access the shared group presentation, Charlie spoke up.

“Okay, I actually went ahead and got everything finished up earlier today.” Your breath got stuck in your chest as you met his eyes. “I figured we could just work on any revisions together.” You could tell from just below your line of sight that he was nervously messing with the corner of a piece of his notebook paper. 

“Oh,” you weren’t sure what to say. “Well, thank you. You totally didn’t have to-”

“No, I know. I wanted to.” Charlie interrupted. 

You nodded, sucking in your bottom lip. You scanned through the presentation. It really had been finished. It must have taken him hours. 

There was an uncomfortable silence, making the air thick and heavy around you. You wished you could think of something else to say. An image of the opened bottle of red wine in the kitchen flashed in your mind. 

“Would you like something to drink?” You asked so softly, you couldn’t have been certain you had actually asked it aloud. 

Charlie’s eyes snapped up to meet you. Relief almost played itself across his expression. “Yes, please. If it’s not any trouble.” He rubbed his palms flat against the denim against his thighs. 

You shot up, crawling out of bed. “Not at all.” You gave him your most reassuring smile. 

You rushed downstairs, throwing open the cabinet where you knew Irina kept her best glasses. You grabbed two by the stem and held the bottle in the other hand. 

You made your way carefully up the stairs, stopping in the doorway of your bedroom. 

Charlie peered behind himself, eyes falling to the bottle in your hand. 

“Oh,” he began, “I didn’t realize…” 

You suddenly felt incredibly stupid. Did he even drink? 

“I’m sorry, I should’ve clarified. I can go and grab some water or something-” You began turning on your heel. 

Charlie was quick to rise to his feet. “No, no, this is great.” He carefully took the glasses and bottle from your hands. You inhaled sharply and nodded as his fingers brushed against your own. 

You climbed back into bed, watching him fill each glass, respectively. You couldn’t help but notice the way his hand slightly shook as he passed you your glass. 

You took a long drink, watching him do the same. It felt so warm in your throat. You sighed, sinking further into the bed. Charlie seemed to relax a bit in his spot as well. 

A few minutes passed by in a much more comfortable quietness. 

You couldn’t help but become distracted by the man sitting beside you. He just felt so far away. You wished he’d have sat on the bed next to you instead. Every once in a while, you’d feel him glance over at you as you reread the same passage over and over again, still for some reason, unable to comprehend what it said. 

You peered up from your notes, watching Charlie slide a scribbled over sticky note that sat stuck to the base of your lamp. 

You recognized it immediately, feeling yourself shift awkwardly. It was one of the lists you kept from film club, filled almost entirely with movies that Charlie had mentioned in passing. 

“Are these…?” Charlie asked, eyes widening as he made his way down the list. 

You rolled over onto your stomach, reaching over to pull the list from Charlie’s hands. 

“Mhm,” you nodded. “I’ve almost gotten myself caught up.” You tried your best to conceal the shyness you felt at being found out. 

Your heart picked up quickly as he looked you over. There was something about his expression that felt so heavy, it was an unfamiliar sight. 

“What’s next on your list?” He asked, picking up the glass you had set down and refilling it alongside his own. 

You read over the scratched out mess of your handwriting. “Dawn of the Dead, but the 1978 version. Not the remake, of course.” 

A smirk spread across Charlie’s lip, as if he’d taught you well. He held up your glass to take from him. You took it from him slowly, feigning to be worried about spilling a single drop. By this point, your head was already beginning to feel fuzzy. It was a comfortable warmth. 

You slipped the note into your backpack, trying to focus once again on the presentation in front of you. It was useless. 

Before giving it much thought, you spoke up, “You know, I’ve already rented it.” 

Robbie could manage the revisions on his own, right?

“Oh yeah?” Charlie asked, turning in his chair to face you. 

“Yeah,” you began, trying to convince yourself that this next question would actually be a good idea. “Would you want to watch it with me?” 

“Tonight?” Charlie’s hands were back against the top of his thighs. His eyes flashed between you and the T.V. that was mounted above your dresser on the opposite side of your bedroom. 

“If that would be okay with you, I’m honestly not getting much work done over here.” You replied, getting up from the bed. 

Charlie cleared his throat before answering. “Yeah, yeah, that sounds cool.”

You smiled over your shoulder at him as you made your way over the DVD player that sat on top of your dresser. 

You messed with the CD case, popping it open and inserting the disk. You picked up the remote, waiting until the title screen flashed on the T.V. above you. You noticed the top drawer of the dresser was pulled halfway open; you slid it closed, scolding yourself. It contained the clothing you’d dread any guest seeing. You swore you were always so careful about keeping these things in order.

You flipped your bedroom lights off, dimming the lamp that sat on the desk beside Charlie before finding your place back in bed. 

You pressed play, finishing the last of the wine in your glass, before setting the remote and glass on the desk beside you. 

A few moments passed by uninterrupted. You looked over at Charlie. He was sitting so unbelievably stiff in the chair, it just seemed so uncomfortable. 

“Charlie,” you called out to him. He snapped his eyes to meet your own. “You don’t have to watch the entire movie from my desk.” You half laughed.

He stood quickly, nearly knocking things about your desk. You tried your best to hide your smile as he laid down on top of the mattress; the bed dipped under his weight. 

You both kept a fair amount of distance between each other. The movie was well underway. However, you found yourself becoming increasingly more interested in the uneven way Charlie’s chest rose and fell with each breath than what was happening on the screen.

You wished you could just reach over and touch him, move the hair out of his eyes, trace your finger over the arch of his nose. 

You could barely take notice of the way your vision had fixated on him as your head grew blurred and warm. 

You wished he’d turn and face you, say something. He seemed to be frozen in place, legs and arms held in a way that’d rival a statue. His face was fixated on the T.V., as if he were too nervous to move even an inch. It was so warm. The room felt so warm.

You could barely catch the small glimpses he’d spare towards you from his peripherals. You wish he’d just reach over- your eyes trailed down to his hands resting on his stomach, watching the veins in them roll as his finger flexed and twitched. 

You reached up, placing a hand against your face. Your skin was cold to the touch. Why did everything feel so warm?

Your clothing suddenly felt increasingly more suffocating. You were growing desperate for some form of relief. You pulled at the collar of your shirt. Your shorts felt so tight, nearly restricting. You couldn’t explain why you felt so hot. The t-shirt you had on could almost be a dress, anyway, right? 

You climbed over Charlie, one hand on either side of his chest. You steadied yourself on the ground, your head thoroughly swimming. You tried your very best to focus forward on the movie. You unbuttoned the waist of your shorts, carefully stepping out of them.

You heard a heavy sigh from behind you; the sound made the hair on your skin raise. 

“I’m sorry, moving out of the way. Promise.” You laughed, turning back to face Charlie. 

You slid into the bed, finding your spot in the small space between Charlie and the edge of the mattress. Opting not to try to climb over him again in your current state.

Charlie froze in place beside you as you shifted on to your side, trying to find the most comfortable spot between him and the screen. He was warm, so warm. You had just felt as though you were burning up moments ago, but the thought of him moving any further away made your body ache. His warmth was soothing. 

You could feel Charlie’s uncertainty as he began to shift away from you in the bed, providing you with more space presumably. 

You couldn’t explain why you did what you did next. You reacted without giving it much thought at all. You reached behind you, pulling Charlie’s furthest hand towards you until it rested on top of your hair. 

The new position forced him to shift in bed beside you until he was lying on his side as well. His hand flexed under your touch. You wished you could pull him closer. 

His fingers stretched throughout your hair and you sighed, feeling your back sink closer to his chest. You could nearly feel his heart pounding against you. Your hand fell to rest on your side. 

His other hand shifted, moving into a more comfortable position below your neck. “Is this okay?” He whispered right behind your ear. The feeling of his cool breath sent chills up your spine. You nodded, the words lost from you.

You reached up, tracing the veins wove through his forearm. His fist closed and flexed at your touch. The film, just as the presentation, was now lost on you. 

It was just him beside you. The way he smelt, his fingers carefully sliding through your hair and across your cheek, the unsteady beat of his heart against your back. You found yourself sinking further and further into his arms. A heavy sigh slipped from your lips as he pulled through the mess of your hair. 

At the sound of your voice, Charlie shifted his weight, wrapping his arm under your neck further to pull you around to face him. 

You both seemed surprised at his sudden movement. You were now face to face, just inches apart. The movie murmured faintly off somewhere in the distance. 

Even in the dark, his blue eyes were so incredibly clear. You reached up, brushing the hair that had fallen in front of his face away. His eyes flitted between your own eyes and lips. You had never noticed before just how full his own lips were. His lips were tinted a deep red from the cherry wine you had shared. You couldn’t help but imagine how sweet he’d taste. 

If you’d just move a bit closer- 

Both of his large hands wrapped throughout your hair again in near desperation. 

You returned the gesture, pushing your thigh through the middle of his own. Lips crashed against one another. 

It was unlike anything you had experienced before. This brash kiss fell into a soft rhythm, gentle exploration as you rocked into one another. 

It didn’t take long until the slow movements devolved into a harsh quick pace as you both grew more comfortable in each other’s arms. There was an air of near violence as your tongues wrapped around each other.

You needed more of him, needed to be impossibly closer in any way you could. Sensing this, Charlie wrapped his arms around you, pulling you on top to straddle his waist. 

You sat back, smiling down at him as he unintentionally bucked his hips up closer to you. It was wonderful seeing the state he was in. You knew you were in just about the same shape. 

You were quick to meet his lips again. He held you steadily against himself, continuing to rock himself against you.

Your hands hazily fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. You needed to feel more of his skin against you. The barrier of clothing that separated you from him made you miserable. 

Once the last button was popped, he sat up in bed. Pulling you up with him, his arm clung around your waist. He shrugged the shirt off of himself, throwing it on the ground. You were quick to bring your lips to his again, running your hands up his now bare stomach. He was impossibly toned, felt hard to the touch. 

“Fuck.” He groaned against your lips as your hips rolled against him. You could feel him getting hard below you. A blush crept up your skin. The sound of his voice like this built up an indiscernible feeling inside of you. You wanted to hear him make that sound again. 

His hands were quick to find themselves under your t-shirt, his thumb brushed against the outer lace of your bra. He reached behind you, fumbling with the clasp. You leaned your head against his, smiling softly as he gazed at you in wonder. 

You reached behind yourself, helping him with his work uncertain work. You slid the bra off yourself, throwing it next to Charlie’s discarded shirt. You grabbed the hem of your t-shirt and pulled it swiftly over your head. 

You could hear Charlie’s breath audibly stuck in his throat as his eyes darted wildly across your body. The full weight of this situation nearly hit you at once. You brought your arms shyly across your chest. You had never been in front of a man this way. 

You could barely meet his eyes. He was quick to pull you back in to kiss him. “God, you’re so fucking perfect.” He whispered against you as he kissed your forehead. Your arms melted down to your side as his hands traced the curve of your waist. 

You could feel his hands shake as he cupped your breasts, his fingers softly grazed against your nipples. You sighed, pulling him closer to you. That frenzied feeling returned in full force. 

You needed impossibly more of him. He was quick to act, laying you back down on the bed. He hovered over you, eyes burning into your nearly naked body in front of him. 

His right hand reached down, fumbling with his buckle. You watched intently as his hand slipped underneath the waistband of his boxers to adjust himself. Your eyes fluttered back as you traced your fingers mindlessly over the defined v-line that led further down his hips. He shook at your touch. 

His lips found themselves trailing kisses down your neck and chest. He was so gentle with you. Painfully gentle. Your hands wove through his hair, arching up into him as his pace quickened. He slid further down the bed, wrapping his arms around both of your legs, holding them open to kiss down your thighs. 

You were practically already coming undone below him. He’d come so close to the spot you wanted him to be. Every time he’d pull back away, you’d whine in frustration. He’d hum back against you in response. 

You couldn’t handle the pressure building up inside you anymore. Your right hand traced slowly underneath the lace of your panties. You stopped just before slipping through your folds, looking up to meet Charlie’s eyes. His expression seemed nearly pained, completely desperate. 

“I don’t know- I’ve never…” Charlie could barely get the words out from between his lips. Even in the dim lighting, you could tell he was flustered, embarrassed at his own lack of experience. It was reassuring to you though, you had practically no experience with all of this either. It was sweet, how shy he seemed at that moment. 

“It’s okay. I’ll show you.” You gave him a reassuring smile before carefully intertwining your fingers with his own. He followed suit, hooking his free hand around your panties before sliding them off you. Your desperation for him drowned out any insecurity you could have possibly felt with him above you in that state you were in. 

You brought his fingers against you, sighing into him as he carefully let you guide him in slow circles against your clit. The knot deep inside you only grew as he became increasingly comfortable. Your hands dropped to his shoulders as he became familiar with the pace and direction you wanted. 

His free arm wrapped around your back, gripping your sides with bruising force as you started to writhe below him. His head dipped beside your ear, “Please, please let me taste you.” He practically begged. 

You could only nod, sucking in a sharp breath as his fingers moved faster, losing their rhythm. 

He was quick to shift his weight as he sat up for a moment, pulling off his constricting jeans and socks, leaving him nearly entirely exposed. You groaned at the sight of him in front of you. He was so damningly beautiful. Your vision flitted down to the large impression in his boxers, your eyes widened at the size of him. 

Before you could process this discovery, he was kneeling on the bed in front of you again. One arm snaked around your thigh as you propped yourself on your elbows to watch him make his way through his. 

He kissed just above your clit, eyes looking up at you for approval. 

“Please Charlie,” you urged him on. 

His lips were against your most sensitive spot immediately. You cried out, screwing your eyes shut. Nothing had ever been so perfect as this. He kissed against you a few more times before deciding to explore you with his tongue, “Fuck, it’s so good.” He groaned against you, speaking more to himself than you. 

The vibration of his deepening voice sent shockwaves throughout your body. Your eyes and legs involuntarily worked to screw shut. Charlie acted quick, pushing your thighs back apart with a painful grip. You were sure you’d have his finger prints bruised into your skin the next morning. ‘Good’ you thought to yourself. 

You could tell he was trying his best to emulate the motion you had shown him with your fingers with his tongue. It was maddening, completely perfect. 

“Fuck baby, you’re doing so well.” The words spilled mindlessly out of you. He groaned as you rolled your hips against him. Your eyes trailed down his chest. His right hand found its way inside his boxers. He was palming at himself as if he were in pain. You wanted to be the one to relieve him. 

The sight of him pleasing himself as he worked you over was enough to nearly send you crashing blindly over the edge. You could barely get the next words out of you, “Don’t, don’t touch yourself.” You were trying to keep it all together as he whined against you, following your demands. 

“Fuck Charlie, I’m going to…” you said between broken moans. 

He pulled away for a moment, his entire expression darkened. It could’ve easily been terrifying in any other context, you noted to yourself. The fingers that had just been wrapped around your thigh found themselves quickly against your entrance. Your eyes widened as you connected with his gaze, realizing his intentions. You’d do anything to have him inside of you. 

He kissed your lips. You sucked the taste of yourself off of him, dragging his bottom lip between your teeth. His middle and ring dove forward inside of you. His other hand came up quickly to muffle your screams. 

“Shit, you’re so tight.” His chest shuddered at his own words. A tear rolled down your face as he talked you through it. “So wet for me.” 

His free hand pressed down against your lower stomach. The additional pressure was the last push you needed. Your whole nervous system seemed to snap as his fingers fucked you through your high. You could barely hear his praise as your ears rang out with incredulous force. You were sobbing out his name, vision white and spotted at the blinding pleasure. 

He pulled out of you carefully, slowly letting you come back to yourself for a moment before diving his tongue back against you. 

You writhed up against the footboard. It was too much, too overstimulating. Your hands pulled at his hair to push him away. He grabbed both your wrists with one hand, holding you in place below him. You were babbling, stuck between ‘It’s too much’ and ‘please don’t stop.’ 

Within a matter of moments, you were coming undone again against his face. Your mind was shattered, your body a wreck under his touch. 

He fell back against the headboard, catching his breath as he watched you ride out your high. 

As soon as you could partially catch your breath again, you sat up, watching him shift uncomfortably from his pressing erection. 

It was his turn to be taken care of. You crawled your way up to rest between his thighs. His eyes darted across your face, as if he were trying to read your thoughts.

You couldn’t hide your smile as you leaned into him. You kissed him slowly, licking across his lips. Your lips slowly made their way down his chest as your fingers grazed across the fabric against his cock. He whimpered above you at the pressure. The sound made your stomach clench. You’d give anything to hear it again. 

He slid further down the bed as your lips trailed kisses and shallow bites marks further down his stomach. 

Once you could tell he was in a more comfortable position, you hooked your fingers into the waistline of boxers. He lifted his hips, helping you pull them down his thighs before discarding them on the ground below. 

You sat back on your heels, mouth agape at the sight in front of you. You could do little to hide your shock at the uncovered size of him. 

You glanced up at him, willing yourself to put on a face that feigned at least a hint of experience. He smirked down at you, as if he could tell exactly what thoughts were passing through your mind. 

“You don’t have to…” he muttered, eyes still full of adoration for you. 

Before giving him the opportunity to finish his sentence, you wrapped your fingers against the base of his cock. You could feel him pulse under your touch. His next words were stuck and gone in his chest. 

You held his gaze as your hand carefully twisted its way up to the tip of his cock. You gathered his precum on your fingers and circled it around the length of him. His mouth fell open as his stomach flexed under you. 

“Does that feel good?” You asked softly. 

He bit his lip, nodding his head yes. You were quick to pick up your pace at his approval.  

His hands were desperate, switching between grabbing at the bedsheets and headboard and any of your skin he could get ahold of. Stunning whimpers and pleas spilled out of him as you found the motion and speed he needed. 

You pulled away for a moment, moving yourself further down the bed. You held him still in one hand again as you kissed a trail down from his navel. Your eyes met with his as your lips hovered above the tip of his cock. You gathered spit on the tip of your tongue and let it fall slowly onto him. He cursed a string of expletives, his eyes rolling back into his head as you took him into your mouth. 

You thought carefully over each motion, keeping your teeth back, hollowing out your cheeks. The sensation was entirely new, but the way he began to convulse below you let you know you were doing something right. You wanted nothing more than to make him feel the same way he had made you. 

His hands wrapped almost painfully through your hair as he bucked further and further down your throat. You tried your best to relax, allowing him to take the space he wanted. 

Your throat burned, tears and spit covered your face and chest. You wouldn’t have possibly wanted it any other way. 

You were both becoming increasingly sloppy and starved in your movements. His right hand grabbed at your throat, pulling your face up to meet his eyes. You stilled, letting him fuck your throat as he pleased. It didn’t take long before his movements stilled and stuttered. 

You felt him pulse in your mouth; you were flooded with his release, warmth coated your throat and tongue. The taste and sight above you made your entire body shudder. It was heavenly. You felt truly blessed to be the cause of it all. You could vaguely make out your name being spilled from between his lips.

His chest heaved as you carefully pulled away from him, his cock falling against his stomach. 

You caught his eyes again, making a show to swallow what he had given to you. He pulled you into himself, kissing all over your face until you were laughing in his arms. 

You dropped into the bed beside him, watching him shift his weight and stand. He scanned the room before spotting the bath towel that hung beside your bedroom door. He made quick work of cleaning the two of you up, tracing kisses across you as he did so. 

Your nerves were all shot. Your entire being was exhausted and heavy. 

He dropped the towel next to the discarded pile of clothing that had accumulated on your bedroom floor. Charlie slid back in bed beside you, lifting the disheveled duvet over you both. He pulled you up onto his chest. You sighed as he swept the hair out of your face. 

You were in a complete haze, halfway into a deep sleep. 

“Thank you,” Charlie whispered above you. 

You hummed, reaching up to kiss under his jaw. “Thank you.” You replied, pulling a sore a leg over his thighs, resting your head back down against him.

The movie’s title screen music played on repeat in the background; you couldn’t be the least bit bothered to turn it off. 

[weirdmorefics]

Hiya, could you do a Aziraphale x Demon!Reader x Crowley (if that's alright with you) where it's the end of season 2 and the reader is arguing with Aziraphale because he's leaving and Crowley is just standing behind them still trying to comprehend what's happening, but because the reader is a demon they have never cried not once in their life so they start breaking down (ugly crying) and it pisses of Crowley seeing reader cry like that, hope this request is alright can change it it you want to x

A/n- Oh my goodness love this request I am a sucker for angst

AO3, Etsy Shop, Youtube,

TW- Major sadness

Reader's Pronouns- They/Them

Word Count- 978

Nothing Lasts Forever

Crowley x Reader x Aziraphale

Y/n anxiously plays with their hands waiting for Aziraphale to return, "Do you think he's safe with Metatron?"

"I am sure he will be fine. As much as we love to save our dear angel and mock him mercilessly, he's been protecting himself for eons," Crowley replies confidently.

Despite Crowley's confident words his face does not appear to match. He places Y/n's hands in his own and does not speak a word about it.

After sitting in silence for a long time, just the two of them ruminating on their own thoughts, a bell rings. Y/n stands up speedily and Crowley is quick to follow. Y/n moves closer to Aziraphale to check if any harm has been done but he has the widest grin on his face so the pair doubt he is injured.

"What did he want," Y/n asks fearing the answer.

"With Micheal being gone... there is a space. He wants me to be an archangel," Aziraphale beams with shock and joy.

Y/n is frozen in shock and Crowley steps closer, "He said what?"

"He said I could appoint you both to be angels! Come back to heaven and-and everything!" He uncharacteristically stutters due to the pure amount of joy. "Like old times probably even nicer!"

Y/n clenches their fist and gulps loudly even though they don't technically need to as a celestial being it just seemed like the situation desperately called for it.

Crowley went straight to anger, "And you told him where he can stick it? Oh, we're better than that! You're better than that, Angel! You don't need them! Y/n and I certainly don't need them! They ask Y/n and I back to Hell! We said no! I am certainly not going back to their team! Neither should you!"

"You two obviously said not to Hell, they're the bad guys," Aziraphale states surely. "Heaven is the side of truth, light, of good," he lists confused as to what Crowley is not getting.

If I could throw up I think I would. If Hell loves punishment so much you think they would make vomiting a must because it looks really painful when humans do it. Again maybe they wouldn't do that because vomiting is a way of cleansing your stomach and they are very against that.

"When Heaven ends all life on earth all humanity will be just as dead as if Hell did it," Crowley states. "Tell me you said no," Crowley says each word as if it were the end of a sentence.

Aziraphale does not respond and I am finally able to push words out of my mouth, "You did say no Azirapahle... right?"

"If I am in charge I can make a difference," he looks into Y/n's eyes with pity.

Y/n eyes have an unfamiliar feeling, they feel wet and sting.

Crowley starts to pace, "Oh god, oh, I didn't get a chance to say what I was going to say. I better say it now. Right okay. We are a team a group of us, we have known each other a long time, we all rely on each other. I would like us to- I mean if Gabriel and Beelzebub can do it. Go off with each other, then we three can! Just the three of us! We don't need Heaven we don't need Hell. They are toxic! We need be away from them and just be us," he looks between the two of us.

The unfamiliar feeling in y/n's eyes spreads leaving a trail of wetness down their cheek. The wetness keeps spreading they can feel several different lines of water down my face.

Aziraphale runs up to Crowley, "Come with me to Heaven I'll run it the best and you will be my second in command! We can make a difference!"

Y/n bites her lip harshly, " What about the bookshop? What about humanity? The new food inventions you will miss out on? What about our life here!"

The two look at Y/n oddly and the new feeling in them makes them clench their eyes tight and gasp. Y/n wipes their hand across their face and looks down at the wetness in their hands. The wetness won't stop streaming down my face. This isn't right. I shouldn't be able to cry. I shouldn't feel this deeply. Nevertheless, I can't stop the water in my eyes and can't stop gasping for air that I don't even need.

Aziraphale looks at me in a way he never has before. It's the gaze humans give their offspring when they first realize the world is unfair and unjust.

"Oh Y/n, nothing lasts forever," Aziraphale says regretfully.

Y/n puts their palm to their chest and gasps, "Oh."

Crowley looks at Aziraphale with disgust, "That's how it is... good luck then."

Y/n looks up at Crowley vision blurry with newfound tears and Crowley looks back mournfully. Crowley throws his arm around Y/n's shoulder and starts to escort them out the door.

"Good luck?' Aziraphale gasps. "I don't think you know what I am offering the two of you!"

"I think the two of us know better than you do," Crowley snaps back.

Aziarphale tries to negotiate with Y/n, "Y/n, please you are supposed to be the reasonable one out of the two of you! You are no demon you are crying!"

Crowley's jaw tightens and Y/n clenches their fists harder than they have in their entire long life.

Y/n can barely gasp out, "You hear that?"

Aziraphale shakes his head rapidly, "I hear nothing!"

"Exactly, no nightingales," Y/n gasps again.

"You idiot! We could have been something! Just the three us," Crowley shouts as he leads Y/n out the door leaving a stunned and a little bit broken Aziraphale.

[a-kaash-me-outside]

not fair - ch3

in which your boyfriend is perfect in every single way... except for one and kei can't just sit back and watch you suffer... previous | ch3 | next [masterlist]

// "you ruined me too, i guess." ~ ᴛsᴜᴋɪsʜɪᴍᴀ ᴋᴇɪ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ~ 7589 ᴡᴏʀᴅs

a look into this chapter/tw: 18+ minors dni super nfsw!, cheating (seriously, major plot point), a bit heavier angst in this one guys, use of character first names, degradation, choking, face-fucking, dom/sub undertones, face slapping, stop light system, squirting, dirty talk, name calling, coming twice, plot-heavy, cross posted from ao3, afab reader she/her pronouns, this is actually the chapter i stopped at before being commissioned to write the last three parts

send an ask and i’ll add ya to the taglist! ~ ♡ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴs ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ♡

You hadn’t spoken to Kei in almost 4 months, not at all.

You went from messaging him daily, constantly, seeing him 5-6 times a week, getting coffee with him, having him come over for dinner, hanging out with you and Tadashi to absolutely nothing. You couldn’t help yourself when you were around him, couldn’t stop thinking about him when you weren’t around him, so you had to cut him off. After that night, coming home and crawling into bed with Yamaguchi, his arms wrapping around you, they didn’t feel right. They weren’t as strong as Kei’s. Everything that he did reminded you that he wasn’t Kei. You could feel every mark that Kei had left on your body and you were missing him so much that your heart physically hurt. It had to stop. 

When Yamaguchi asked why you guys weren’t talking anymore, you almost started crying. You told him that you guys had gotten into an awful fight and that you couldn’t talk about it. Though it was technically a lie, it seemed convincing enough. Every time that he would try to ask about it, you would get emotional, tears flooding your eyes and heart feeling heavy. He stopped asking about it after a while, just accepting that you weren’t ready to talk about it. He was kind like that. He was conflicted, not knowing whether or not to drop everything with his best friend. You encouraged him to go see him if Tsukishima wanted to and he did.

Everything about Yamaguchi was kind and sweet and everything that you should have wanted, but not being with Kei for the past few months really showed you how difficult it was for you to be with someone like that. Tadashi would listen to you rant about your favorite TV shows, make you breakfast in the morning, tell you all of the things about you that he loves, but every inexplicably nice thing that he did made you miss Kei’s antics even more. You missed when he would make fun of the plot holes in your garbage TV shows, how he would groan at you and throw things when you tried to ask him to make you breakfast, how special he would make you feel when he would tell you the things he loved about you. You were convinced that it was just your obsessive mind, that something was wrong with you.

Not above everything else, but a large chunk of the reason that you missed him, was how great you were together in bed. Nothing was the same without him. You barely even wanted to try to make yourself come. Even when you succeeded the few times that you did, you felt less satisfied after you finished than you had when you started. It didn’t matter how hard you tried or what you did, nothing compared to how good he was at it and how much he cared. 

You had gotten used to the fact that you would never be satisfied again. You never should have fucked him the first time. You were fine with the situation that was happening, at least you could make yourself come. Ignorance truly is bliss, you guessed. 

Except, there was one night, one fateful night, when you were in bed with Yamaguchi, on all fours as he fucked you from behind, that you actually felt pleasure for the first time in months. 

“How is it, sweetheart?” he asked, his breathing sporadic despite only inserting himself into you a few minutes ago. You tried your best to sound into it for his sake at least. The endearing name that came out of his mouth, once belonging to him, but now, even 4 months void of hearing him say it, it was still Kei’s. You wished you’d never told him the name because now it’s all you can think about. 

He angles down, accidentally grazing your g-spot, something he has never done in your relationship, ever. It’s not as thoughtful as when Kei does it, nor as harsh, but it sends the smallest amount of pleasure into your core as you inhale deeply. It’s been so long since you’ve felt actual pleasure, that it just slips out of your mouth. It’s the first thing that your body thinks of when you feel even the smallest amount of satisfaction.

“Fuck, Kei.” As soon as it leaves your mouth, you’re hoping that the rest of the room is loud enough to cover it. You want to crawl into a hole and never be seen again. Even with Kei out of your life for 4 months, the second that you feel good, he’s all your brain can think about. Tadashi slows and you know how badly you’ve fucked up. 

He stops, still inside of you, as he asks, “What?” You don’t know what to do, what to say, you’re frozen in time. When you don’t reply, he pulls out of you, getting up from off of the bed, repeating himself, but adding your name to try to pull you out of your own head. “(y/n), what?” He doesn’t have to ask what. He doesn’t have to ask you to repeat yourself, he knows exactly what you said. 

All of those years of not being suspicious about you and Kei have come back to haunt him all at once. His voice is stern, now, growing impatient. This is a side of him that you’ve never seen. He’s not even angry, just confused and evidently hurt. “(y/n).” His tone is cold and pained. 

“I-.” You feel so small as you choke out one word. You want to rewind time, not just to before you moaned Kei’s name, but to back before that night that you admitted your deepest secret to Kei, the night that you weren't able to turn back from. Your hesitance and lack of words are speaking absolute volumes to him as he scoffs at you, putting his clothes back on and pacing around the room. You’re sitting on the edge of the bed, putting your underwear and shirt back on, looking down at your feet to avoid his eyes. 

“You what, (y/n), tell me, what?” 

“I’m sorry,” is all you can manage to say, a genuine, whether he thinks so or not, apology. It’s genuine, but what exactly are you apologizing for? Even you don’t know. 

Tadashi takes a deep breath, turning to you and stopping in his tracks. “Did you really say it? Please, (y/n), tell me that I wasn’t hearing right, that you said something else and my ears deceived me, please.” 

You know that if you were to tell him, he would believe you. You wouldn’t even have to explain yourself, he would just understand and he would trust you and you guys would crawl into bed and he would hold you and you would wish it was Kei. 

“You said it, didn’t you?” He sounds so defeated, sighing softly and swallowing, tears in his eyes. “Can you at least just tell me that you were just thinking about him for whatever stupid reason? That it was all in your head? That it wasn’t based off of anything that actually happened?” You wish you could. He waits for you to talk, waits nearly 30 minutes in complete, agonizing silence. The awkward air never settling, just getting worse and worse by the second. 

“You have to say something, (y/n). I deserve to know.” He doesn’t even sound angry. You want him to sound angry. You want him to scream, to throw things, to slam the door as he leaves, but even after you’ve cheated on him, he’s still just a genuinely kind guy who’s just hurt. He refuses to say another word, sitting in silence for another 10 minutes before you start to speak up. 

“I did…” You take a deep breath. “I did say it, by the way.” You admit to the first issue at hand, something that he definitely already knows, so you continue on. “We… Kei and I…” You’re trying to find the right words, but nothing is going to sound right coming out of your mouth. “We slept together.”

Everything is silent. You can’t even hear each other breathing. 

“Why?” he asks, bluntly. He deserves to know, but you can’t bring yourself to tell him the actual reason, but he’s repeating it again, “Why?” He repeats it again, begging to know this time, “(y/n), why, please.” He keeps asking because you’re staying silent. The word why is flying around your head so much, fogging your thoughts that it just slips out of your mouth. 

“Because you couldn’t make me come,” you admit, louder than you should have. You didn’t want to play the victim here, you weren’t the victim. It was the worst excuse that could have been said. You try to backpedal. “I- I just… You couldn’t… make me come and he could. So we slept together, but only twice before I-.”

Yamaguchi is taking in the entire situation that’s unfolding in front of him. He looks hurt and confused and the anger that you’ve been expecting this whole time is still nowhere to be seen. “That’s a shitty excuse,” he interrupts you. 

“I know. I didn’t… I wasn’t trying to excuse myself. I just-.”

“Twice? You slept with him twice?” he asks.

“Yeah, only twic-.”

“ Only twice? Wow, thank you so much for only sleeping with my best friend twice.” He’s getting annoyed at your responses, at himself for sticking around, for being stepped on. You wanted to add that he wasn’t just Yamaguchi’s best friend, he was your best friend too, he was your best friend first, but that didn’t sit well. “What that means, (y/n), is that you did it once and then you did it again because you didn’t feel guilty enough to stop after doing it once.”

You’re quiet again. Nothing that you say is going to fix this. “I’m sorry.” 

“That’s where you were a few months ago, isn’t it?” He put the pieces together, connected the dots. “You weren’t out on a walk, you were cheating on me with Kei.” He doesn’t even wait for confirmation. “Was that the first time?”

“Dashi, no, I-.” You don’t want to tell him, you can’t tell him that you fucked on your bed when he wasn’t home, that you didn’t wash the sheets because it reminded you of that night, that you would get nervous, but excited wondering if Tadashi could see the cum stains on your side of the bed. 

“Where?”

“Here,” you admit as fast as you can. Tadashi scoffs, grabbing his bag and shoving things into it, muttering as he does so. You sit on the bed quietly, watching him race around the room, but not trying to stop him. “You fucked him here, in our home, in our bed, where we sleep . Fucking unbelievable. This whole time, I knew that something was weird between you two, but I never said anything. I trusted you, (y/n), I trusted you.” He shakes his head, grabbing clothes, electronics, his wallet, anything that he can grab, and shoving it into his bag. 

“I can’t fucking believe you. I mean, I thought I couldn’t believe you. I…” He stops himself, taking a deep breath and looking into your eyes. It’s only now that you can see how red they are, tears spilling out of them in heavy drops. Yours are dry. 

“I don’t… I’m sorry.” It’s Tadashi that’s apologizing. You reach out, gently placing your hand on his shoulder and rubbing your thumb into it. 

“Dashi, don’t apologize.” Part of you thinks that this means he’s going to set his bag down and crawl back into bed with you and be the little spoon until you both fall asleep. Another part of you knows it’s already over. 

“I love you,” he says to you, looking into your eyes. You can’t bring yourself to say it back. You stand up, urgently. 

“You should stay here. I’m going to go. I can’t… I can’t be in this house. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.” Even though he has his bag packed already, even though it sounds like he was ready to talk and to give you a second chance, your chest is feeling tight. You had to get out of that room, out of that house. Hearing him tell you that he loves you made you feel sick. It doesn’t sit right in your stomach at all. 

“If you leave right now and go to Kei’s, I’m done. We’re done.” It’s the most sturdy sentence that Tadashi had ever said, not riddled with fear or sorrys, just stern. 

You don’t even bother to grab a bag like Tadashi did or to say goodbye as you left or to look back at him standing exactly where you left him. You pushed past him and out the door, desperate to get fresh air into your lungs. 

Tadashi knows exactly where you’re headed when he notices that you didn’t even grab the car keys from the counter. He doesn’t know what he expected. 

The air is much colder than you anticipate it being. The large amounts of it that you’re taking into your lungs to negate the feeling of panic in your heart burn as they fill your chest. Not once during your time in the room with Tadashi did you cry. Watching how upset and sad that you had made him didn’t even make your eyes water, but out on the street, taking that familiar walk that you had taken so often, but not recently, the tears started to form and fall from your eyes. 

By the time you make it to his front door, your vision is completely blurred and your lungs hurt so much from heaving that you’re contemplating holding your breath forever. You don’t even know what you’re doing here. You hadn’t called or texted. It was nearly 3 in the morning. You knew that he would be sleeping. You hadn’t talked to him in months. How did you know he would even let you in?

You knock on the door with as much strength as you can muster, 4 light rasps against the wood. You wait for a minute before trying to knock again. When there’s still no answer, you ring the doorbell once. You’re about to give up when you hear the soft click of the unlocking of the door, a tired Kei stands in front of you, his glasses not even on his face as he squints at you. His eyes open wider when he realizes who it is. “(y/n)? What are you doing here?”

It’s cold outside, but you don’t make the move to try to get inside. He hasn’t invited you in yet, and you’ve lost the privilege of slinking past him and taking off your shoes and walking into his room without question when you broke off all contact with him for 4 months. 

“He broke up with me.” You sniffle at the end of your sentence. Saying it out loud makes a sob erupt from your chest. Your legs feel weak as you bring your hands up to your face, crying into them, your entire body shaking. 

Part of you feels bad for bombarding Kei like this, but you didn’t know where else to go and you definitely couldn’t have stayed. If you had to look at Tadashi for one-second longer, you would have told him everything, even the parts that he definitely doesn’t need to hear. You feel your wrist being pulled inside, Kei shutting the door behind you before continuing to pull you into his bedroom. It looked exactly like it did those few months ago, the bed disheveled from Kei leaving from it so quickly to answer the door. You were laying there with him a few months ago, about to kiss him. You wish you would have kissed him. 

Kei pulls you into a hug, wrapping his arms around you so tightly that you can’t move. You feel so secure, so safe. You can’t stop crying, wetting his shoulder from the tears. He rubs your lower back with his palm and your shoulder with his thumb, comforting you. You can feel him hesitate, but ultimately press a kiss into the top of your head. You melt into him. 

“It’s not his fault. I cheated on him. I know this, but I just… I should be sadder, Kei,” you say into his shoulder. 

“You’re sobbing, what do you mean?”

“I’m not sobbing because I broke up with Tadashi.” You’re treading on thin ice here, but your emotions are completely getting the better of you, pushing you forwards. “I’m sobbing because after he broke up with me, my chest felt lighter. After he broke up with me, the only thing I could think about was you and how I wouldn’t have to hide or lie anymore. He gave me a choice, Kei. He told me that if I left and came to your house that he was going to break up with me, that we were through.” You pause. “And look where I’m at now.”

Tsukishima is silent, his arms around you beginning to fall weakly off of your sides. 

“Fuck,” you breath, pulling away from him, sitting on the edge of his bed, and putting your face in your hands. “I was so good at hiding my feelings, Kei, suppressing them so fucking well, and then we spent that night together and- and I couldn’t get you out of my head again.” You grab a fistful of your own hair in frustration. “I mean, fuck.” You pick your head back up, tears slowing, resting your chin in your hands. 

He sits next to you but still doesn’t speak. You continue talking, scared of what will happen when the air settles around the conversation. “I was happy. I was content. I-,” you pause, “I didn’t have to sit and wonder if the guy that I’m in love with cared about me in a way that involved more than just sex.” You’ve said all that you could say. 

It’s quiet. The atmosphere is calmer than it was back at your house. You steady your breathing, not that it matters, because Kei’s next sentence knocks the wind out of you. 

“I wish I would’ve kissed you that night,” he admits to you, his voice low. “I’ve regretted it every day since you left. I thought that maybe, maybe if I would’ve kissed you, you would’ve stayed or- or you would’ve just known.”

“Known?” you ask, innocently. 

He exhales sharply, almost resembling a laugh. “Known that I was fucking in love with you.”

The tears that had started to subside came back with everything they had, your whole body wracked, shoulders heaving as he said those words. Even though he was sitting right next to you, he felt miles away. All you wanted was for him to wrap around you. You wanted to crawl into his lap, to feel his fingertips on your scalp again, to feel him give you any contact at all. 

You’ve thought about that night endlessly, spent hours awake remembering how he looked underneath you. Even after the thoughts of your incredible sex subsided, after they faded into the back of your mind, after you pushed them back there, you couldn’t get the look in his eyes out of your head. You kept watching them, replaying in your head, as they flickered to your lips and lingered, how they didn’t look hungry, but yearning. 

You don’t know how to reply, but you need to speak. You need to tell him something, anything, to remind him why you’re here in the first place, why you chose him overworking it out with Tadashi, anything to get him to move closer to you and hold you. 

Or maybe you don’t need to speak. Maybe you don’t need to say anything to get him to move closer and hold you. He had just done the hard part. He told you that he was in love with you, or, that he was in love with you. Was he still? 

You looked up at him, saw his head hanging like he’d made a mistake, his gaze stuck on the floor while he fiddled with his thumbs. You turn to him, nudging underneath his arm and crawling into his lap, exactly where you wanted to be. You sit in his lap, curled up in a small ball, tears still overflowing from your eyes. 

He doesn’t move for a minute, worry creeping up on you as he doesn’t react to you being in his lap, but then he wraps his arms around you and rests his chin on the top of your head. Your ear is pressed against his chest and you can hear the dull thumping of his heart. You time your breathing with it, your tears slowing as they synchronize. 

You’re aware of how little has been said since he confessed to you. You want to tell him something that will make him feel more at ease for having said it. “I wanted to kiss you too, that night. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.” It’s quiet again, but you know that he hears you. He tightens his grip in response, nuzzling his nose into your neck as he rests his forehead against your cheek. 

Kei turns you slightly so that you’re facing him, legs wrapped around his waist as he holds you up with strong arms behind your back. You’re staring into his eyes again like you were four months ago, but you’re not riddled with conflicting thoughts, you’ve never been more sure of anything in your life. 

Before you even start inching closer to him, Kei’s facial expression changes just slightly. “Can I ask?” He pauses, waiting for you to give confirmation for him to go on. When you do, he continues, “What finally did it? Why did you guys finally break up?”

You had told him that you guys had broken up, had come over his house at 3 in the morning sobbing, had told him that you chose him over Tadashi, but nowhere in your mind did you think that you’d have to tell him why exactly you broke up. You flush red recalling the events. It was somehow more embarrassing recalling them, about to say them aloud, than to actually have gone through them. “I- Well, I mean-,” you stutter over your words causing him to look confused. 

“You don’t have to tell me, for whatever reason, I know that we haven’t ta-,” he starts, but you interrupt him, shaking your head. 

“No, no. I want to tell you, Kei, but you… you can’t laugh.” Your eyes are pleading.

“Tch, well when you say that, you know I can’t promise such things.” You’ve missed his little tongue clicks.

You take a deep breath. “He was fucking me.” You take another deep breath, avidly avoiding Kei’s eyes and evidently piquing his interest. “And he hit that spot.” Your cheeks are burning as you take another breath to steady yourself. “And I said your name.” 

His jaw drops, head tilting to the side as he tries to conceal his cockiness, his disbelief, his bliss. You bury your face into his chest, the warmth of your cheeks worsening by the second. “You said my name while he was fucking you?”

“Kei, you don’t understand,” your voice is muffled by his shirt, “I hadn’t gotten off in so long, hadn’t felt like actual pleasure since that night, and so, and- and he-.” You’re stumbling over your words, but he doesn’t say anything. “He hit it on accident and I just couldn’t help it. It was slipping out of my mouth and I’ve never wanted to hide more.”

He leans back, pulling his chest away from your face as you look up at him. His head is tilted back and he’s laughing at the whole situation. “I told you that I couldn’t promise anything. Wow. He hit it by accident?”

You nod at his question. Nothing about this situation is funny, but seeing Kei laugh makes you start laughing. You want to feel worse about it, but it’s just the two of you in this secluded room and being with Kei for the first time in months, you feel truly happy again. You push him slightly, the corner of your mouth tugging upwards as you bury your face into his chest again. “Don’t be mean to me.”

Kei brings his hand under your chin, lifting your head until your gaze meets his. No matter how hard you try to avert it, he moves you to match it. He rubs small circles into your chin. It sends shivers through every part of your body. “I’m sorry. I’m not being mean. I’m flattered, really.” You melt into him, letting your chin form into his hand before looking at his lips so obviously that if he didn’t get the hint, you’d start crying again. 

He knows, of course, he knows, but he asks anyway. “Can I kiss you?” His voice is soft but audible. 

You nod gently, making sure not to disturb his hand on your chin, “Please.” He brings your face to his, carrying it with his fingertips before meeting it halfway. When his lips first touch yours, the first thing you notice is how different they taste from before. Without the sex driving the kiss, it felt less desperate, less like it needs to happen and more like it is just supposed to happen. Your eyes flutter shut, your body threatening to start shaking if you don’t deepen the kiss. You need more of him. 

You place your hands on the sides of his face, pulling him closer, your face squished against his as much as it could be. This kiss was completely different in every aspect. You were no longer with Tadashi, this wasn’t just a meeting for a hookup. This was your best friend, who ( is? was? ) in love with you. The two words switch back and forth in your mind, asking if he is still in love with you. 

You pull away, much to your own dismay. His lips almost start to pout when you’ve pulled away until he sees how serious you are. You have to ask. You have to know. “Are you…” You pause, rewording the question, “You said that..” You take a breath. “That you were in love with me.” He turns red as he nods. “Is that… like, you were, but aren’t anymore? Or like you were and still are?” 

He blinks at you slowly, the red fading off of his face as a smile replaces his nervousness. He laughs, shaking his head and putting his lips back on yours. “I don’t think I could ever not be.” You not only hear the words but feel them against your lips. Your hands are back on his face, desperate to kiss him so hard that you can’t breathe. 

You roll off of his lap, your hands still on the sides of his face guiding you with him, pulling him on top of you. The kiss is still innocent enough, despite the position you find yourself in. He’s hovering over you, his hips directly above yours. You snake your legs around his waist, pulling him even closer into you. You open your mouth slightly, letting your tongue slip out and swipe against his lip, hoping with everything in you that he lets you in. 

You can tell how surprised he is to feel your tongue, but he lets you enter. Without the smashing of your teeth, the fighting of your tongues, you explore his mouth, running your tongue over his and the back of his teeth. You moan into his mouth as he places a hand on your hip, rolling up against him softly. You can feel him growing hard at the contact. He grunts as he rolls down against you in response. 

You move your mouth from his, kissing down his neck and sucking at the base. You were surprised at how much he reacted to this. All this time, he had abused and riddled your neck with marks and bruises, but he wanted them just as much. You bite into his soft skin, sucking on an area gently, running your tongue over it lightly, using your bottom lip to rub the spot as well. You pull at the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head and throwing it to the side. You run your hands down his chest, down his toned stomach, just feeling his skin as you nibble on his collarbones. Kei is moaning into your ear at the feeling. 

Your hands move down to his boxers, only the thin fabric separating his growing length and your hand. You palm him as you kiss his neck again. His breath stutters in your ear as he thrusts into your hand. You begin to start taking them off when he pulls away suddenly. You look up at him, confused and worried. “Kei?”

“(y/n),” he breathes, “I- I want this so badly. I want you so badly, but you literally just got out of a relationship an hour ago. I don’t want to take advantage of you or have you do something you’ll regret tomorrow.”

You shake your head, your eyebrows furrowed. “Please, Kei, I’ve waited so long to do this right. I know this isn’t ideal. I know what happened. I get it. I know, but… please. I want this,” you say, looking directly into his eyes. “I could never regret spending a night with you. I never have and I never will.” 

He mulls over the situation, thinking carefully before confirming again, “Are you sure?” 

You nod again. “Yes, yes, Kei. I’ve missed you so much in every way possible.”

He caresses your cheek with his hand, rubbing his thumb over your jawline. “Is this just a hookup?” The question stops everything in you. You pull his face back down to yours, kissing everywhere but his mouth as you repeat the word no over and over again. 

“No, god, fuck, Kei, no. No. I want you so badly, but not just because you can make me come so fucking good, but because I want to be that close to you again. I want to feel you inside of me and I want you to hold me after.” You don’t know if the words you’re saying are too sappy, but they’re true and they work. Kei kisses you this time, pressing his lips against you hard, but not rough. 

“How have you survived these past months without me?” he asks. You giggle at the question, but then exhale, almost defeated.

“Barely, honestly,” you admit. “I’ve come twice by myself and they were the worst orgasms I’ve ever had.” 

“We’ll have to fix that, then, yeah, baby?” For some reason, the pet name makes you feel warm. He had called you it before, but it felt different now like he meant it more. The thought of him calling you baby outside of sex just added to the fire. You nod at him, resuming your kiss. As you’re building up the moment again, Kei pulls your shirt off, releasing your tits from your shirt and massaging them as he devours your tongue. 

You roll your hips against him again, feeling him almost completely hard already. You needed to feel his skin. You grabbed the waistband, gently tugging it down as far as you could from your position underneath him. You took his cock into your hand, stroking the rock hard length until you could feel even more blood rushing to it. Everything that you’re doing to him is getting a much bigger reaction than before, but you love it. You pull away from his mouth just long enough to spit into your hand, slicking his cock with the saliva, your fist gliding over it much easier now. 

Kei isn’t speaking, which is unusual, but you’re looking up at his face in the times when your lips are apart and you’re looking at the concentration on his face. It makes your heart flutter. “Pants off,” he says, but it’s not demanding. The short phrase is just desperate . You move your hand from his cock to undo your own pants, sliding them off with your underwear. You wrap your fist back around his cock, but not before dipping your fingers into yourself, moaning softly at the contact. You use how wet you are to lubricate his cock, your fist moving faster now. When he sees you do so, hears how wet you are when you push your fingers inside of you, feels the wetness on his cock, he twitches, pulling your hand away and pinning it down on the bed. 

You look up at him, somewhat confused. He looks almost embarrassed. You pull him into another kiss, wrapping your legs around him, his cock brushing only slightly against your lips as he groans into your ear. He holds your hips in place, pushing you back onto the beg, unwrapping your legs from him. He owes you some sort of explanation, but he wasn’t going to give it to you without keeping you occupied. 

He reaches down, still towering over top of you, bracing himself with one hand. “I haven’t come since the last time we were together,” he explains, avoiding eye contact with you. “You ruined me too, I guess.” The words shake your entire being. You blink at him, eyes open without knowing what to say. 

Your mind is distracted as he rubs two fingers between your lips, curling them around your pussy, pressing into your hole ever so slightly. You want to grab his wrist and shove his fingers inside of you. You think if he did that, you might come on the spot. You missed his fingers so much, missed any part of him being inside you so much. He uses his thumb to rub your swollen clit, the small circles making your heart race. Seeing you underneath him, squirming and wriggling from the small movements, a cocky smile spreads over his face. He missed seeing you like this. 

All at once, he shoves his fingers in, your pussy completely swallowing them up to the knuckle, slamming into your g-spot with such purpose. You clench around his fingers. “Kei, fuck, again, please, just once more, again.” You can’t believe how pathetic you sound right now, asking him to do it once more, knowing it’ll push you over the edge with how little you’ve been pleased lately, with how dissatisfying your sex life had been. 

He listens to you, pulling his fingers nearly all the way out, and then slamming them back into you, pushing as hard as he can to get as deep as he can. His thumb hasn’t stopped messily flicking over your clit as he does so. You’re rolling your hips on his fingers as you come for the first time in months. These little movements shouldn’t have made you come so fast, but you couldn’t help it. His eyes are wide as he notices that you’ve already come. He rides you through your orgasm, pumping his fingers in and out of you quickly. When you’re finishing coming, he doesn’t stop, so fascinated by how quickly you’re getting there. Your pussy feels so sensitive already, but you can feel another wave of pleasure about to wash over you and you welcome it. He curls his fingers up, hitting your spot repeatedly with his long, slender fingers. He’s watching you the whole time, gaze strong as he slams his fingers in and out of you, inserting another finger right before you come. His fingers don’t make you feel nearly as full as his cock, but it’s a start. 

The pleasure from his fingers inside of you and his thumb on your sensitive clit are too much. The pressure building in your lower stomach releases all at once, spraying the bed beneath you as you scream out his name in repetition. He pulls his fingers out of you, using his entire hand to rub against your clit faster than anyone ever has as you finish coming. You’re sweating from how hard your body is clenching, your hands making fists into the sheet as tears blink from your eyes. 

You’re feeling even more sensitive, but Kei puts his fingers back inside of you. “Kei, Kei, I can’t, I can’t come again, fuck.” 

“You remember the rules, yeah?” he asks, making sure that you don’t actually want him to stop. You nod at him excessively, holding his wrist in place and rocking your hips on his fingers when he slows down to check. He smiles at you, continuing to finger you. You can see his arm start to shake. He hadn’t slowed down once since he started hammering his fingers into you and you’re so grateful for it. The continuous, never letting up, pleasure that he’s created makes your orgasm come even quicker than you think it’s going to. 

Just as you’re about to come for the third time, he removes his fingers and slips into you, grunting as he does so. You feel every inch fill you as he pushes into your tight hole, stretching even further for him as he hits the back of your walls. You gasp for air as you feel his complete length inside of you, rubbing against your walls. His hand is gone from your clit, but he’s penetrating you deeply. You come around him, gripping onto his cock like a fucking vice as you cry out. He thrusts into you and pulls out, looking obviously labored from how tight you’re clenching around him. He’s muttering a string of fuck s as he does so. 

“Kei, fuck, thank you, thank you, fuck,” you mutter into his shoulder, running your fingernails down his back, wanting him closer, deeper. 

“You’re so tight, baby, fuck. You’re so tight and you’re all mine,” he says. There’s no mention of Tadashi, no nicknames that remind you of him, only saying things that are just the two of yours. After you’ve come, he slows his hips, fucking into you slowly, but hard, never breaking eye contact with you.

His hand is in your hair, using it to pull you on to him slowly. A small part of you was convinced that the only reason that you and Kei’s sex was so incredible was because it was rough and degrading and hot and though it can be all those things, it doesn’t always have to be. You’re realizing very quickly that you don’t need Kei to fuck you really rough for you to enjoy it, for both of you to revel in it. 

His slow thrusts don’t last very long as his breathing starts getting quicker. His hips pick up speed again, pushing so deeply into you that he can feel every part of your pussy wrapped around him. His thrusts are getting messier, stuttering instead of keeping the perfect rhythm that he normally does. His arm is shaking to hold himself up.

“Fuck, (y/n), fuck, baby, fuck, I’m going to come. Fuck, fuck, will you come with me, baby? Will you come on my cock while I fill you? I need to feel you clenching around me, milking the cum that’s already coming out of my cock, coaxing more and more out until you can taste it, please, baby, fuck.” All of the dirty talk that he held back from during comes out in this moment. His words bring you right to the edge. Feeling his cock ache inside you, looking into his eyes as you nod helplessly letting the orgasm echo through your entire body. You can feel it in every part of you as you squeeze around him, doing exactly what he asked of you. 

He didn’t demand anything of you, only asked nicely, even throwing in a please. Even still, you wanted to do whatever he asked of you, especially if that thing was coming on his cock as he came inside of you. His cock is throbbing, pulsing with every slam into you, with every stream of cum that comes out of his cock as he fucks it into you. Your moans are straggled as you try to speak, to thank him for everything, to just say his name. He’s moaning into your ear, a murmur of dirty words and your name repeated over and over again. It’s mostly gibberish, except a “thank you” that slips out among the rest. You feel flush all over as he sloppily fucks into you for the last time. You feel the cum drip out of you as soon as he pulls out.

Despite how tired you feel, you know that you have to go clean yourself up so that you can actually sleep. You just assumed you would stay the night, but maybe that’s not what he’s expecting. You make your way to the bathroom, waving him off when he tells you to stay and that you can fix it tomorrow. You hear him in the other room, changing his sheets on the bed and getting dressed again. 

When you enter into his room again, having brushed your teeth with the toothbrush he still kept in his medicine cabinet, you see him pulling one of his old volleyball shirts out of his drawer, tossing it to you as you walked in the room. “For tonight. Figured it’d be better to sleep in than what you had on.” You smile, a warmth spreading from your chest to the tips of your fingers and toes. 

“Thank you, Kei,” you put the shirt on, taking in how soft it is and how much it smells like him. 

He climbs into the middle of the bed, keeping the covers thrown to the side for you to get into bed with him. He pats the bed beside him when you seem hesitant. You slowly make your way over, getting into bed. He throws the covers over top of you before turning onto his side, looking at you with sleepy, but happy eyes. 

“What?” you ask, the attention making you blush even harder. He shakes his head, not saying anything, so you ask again, “What?”

“Nothing,” he waves you off, pressing a kiss into the side of your head and flipping you so that your back is flush against his chest, snaking his arms around your waist. 

“Tsukishima Kei,” you flip back around, staring him in the eyes, “What?”

He laughs at how serious you are, moving a piece of hair out of your eyes and kissing your forehead. “I just think you’re pretty, that’s all.” Your eyes widen in surprise as you flip back over, pushing yourself back into him, hiding what a dark crimson your skin had turned. He laughs again at your reaction, his hand resting on your hip and massaging it as he kisses the back of your neck. 

He wraps his legs in yours, pulling you closer to him. You can feel his breath on your ear but you don’t mind. It’s silent for a moment, but despite how tired you are and how dark the room is, you can’t seem to sleep. Your eyelids feel heavy, but there are words that need to be said that haven’t been. “Kei?” you ask quietly, seeing if he’s still up. He hums into your back evidently awake from the response time but getting sleepier by the second. You place your hand on his, squeezing it gently as you turn back around to face him.

His eyes are shut, lashes fluttering softly at your movement before opening the tiniest bit. Your face is so close to his that it’s killing you not to kiss him right now, but you need to say it first. He needs to hear it first. 

“I love you, Kei.”

His eyes open wider now, he inhales slightly sharper than before, but a smile rests on his face. He leans forward, pressing his lips against yours for a moment before pulling away, a pout instantly forming on your face. “Hey,” you voice your concern, but he just raises his eyebrows. 

“Fine, fine, I won’t tell you that I love you too or that I’m so glad that everything happened the way it did despite how messy it was or that I want to fall asleep with you every night,” he says, shrugging, but pressing his lips back into yours again. He’s so good at everything he does. You want to keep kissing him, but more so, you want him to continue to tell you nice things. 

He spends the rest of the time that you’re awake telling you all of the things he’s never told you. You exchange secrets, you laugh, you kiss, you cry a little bit, you kiss some more, you kiss even more. Eventually, the sun peeks out from the horizon casting a bright, but soft pink, glow into Kei’s room. You press your face into his chest, hiding your eyes from the light at first, but then finding so much comfort in the contact, in the heartbeat. It calms you into a sleep. He massages his fingers into your scalp, petting and smoothing your hair.  

This entire time, everything you wanted was right there in front of you, but now you had it. 

“Goodnight, baby,” he says softly into your head, “I love you.”

Your heart beams. 

taglist: @daddyjackfrost @karasunoya @girlwith-kalei-do-scope-eyes @itsmeteiiteii @omiivr @cyueksims @kei-tsuki21 @ks-tsukki @snazzyturtles send an ask and i’ll add ya to the taglist! ~ ♡ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴs ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ♡

[tiddygame]

You give me goose bumps

(repost because Tumblr was being Funky on my end-- sorry!)

Ao3

Summary: Ghost sat there, trying to figure out how in the hell he had gotten himself into this situation: Lying on the floor of the safe house with a massive werewolf using him as a teddy bear. Honestly, the sequence of events wasn’t too complicated.

Tw: violence, nightmares, and a smidgen panic

It was a few days before a full moon and Ghost and Soap were on a simple, low-stakes mission. All they needed to do was find some flash drive in a building that had been abandoned. Ghost really didn’t even need to watch soap from his vantage point.

The mission was intentionally simple. Having a task force composed almost entirely of monsters did have its downsides. Every full moon, one of those disadvantages reared its ugly head.

In general, when it came to the werewolf side of things, Soap had a pretty good grasp on staying in control and not involuntarily shifting or going berserk. The amount of control he had over both forms was honestly impressive.

Full moons were a different story. In the days leading up to them, instincts always got a bit harder to defy and shifting at will would sometimes go out the window entirely. It’s why they were here, at an abandoned building. A low-energy mission to not trigger a shift, but something that needed to be done and a good outlet for pent-up energy at the very least.

Ghost watched from his perch outside as Soap methodically searched the building, occasionally catching glimpses of him through windows. Soap didn’t need his help, he was just watching the exits, making sure no one went in or out. That didn’t stop Soap from complaining to him the entire time.

“This place gives me the creeps.”

“Is that your official assessment, sergeant?”

“Oh piss off, you’re outside in the middle of the day. I’m in this creepy shithole looking for a needle in a haystack.”

“Focus, Mactavish.”

“I am! You might be different, but I can talk while doing something.”

Ghost didn’t grace that with a response.

“Any clue why they vacated?”

“Negative,” he tried not to think about how if it had been anyone else, he would’ve chewed them out for unprofessionalism three comments ago.

“They left in a hurry, some poor sod didn’t even finish his coffee,” it was said in a joking tone but Ghost could hear the genuine unease behind it.

“Just find the flash drive and get out. Sooner you’re done, the sooner we can leave,” he replied not unkindly, he might enjoy teasing the man but that didn’t mean he didn’t trust his instincts. If Soap felt like something was wrong, he’d take his word on it.

Ghost repositioned slightly, watching the floor Soap was on, looking in the windows through the scope. He was barely able to see his sergeant, just in view of the window. He saw when Soap stopped in the middle of the room, and turned in a circle, definitely looking for something but not a flash drive.

“Soap, sitrep. What’s going on?”

“Something’s wrong,” he’d never seen his sergeant so spooked. He wanted to be angry, wanted to use his lieutenant voice to tell Soap to get a move on, but he couldn’t ignore the dread that was overwhelming him as well.

“Ghost, I don’t think we’re alone here,” well fucking Christ, did he have to say it as creepily as possible?

“Johnny—?” he wasn’t sure what he was going to say, whether to tell him to continue or to cut and run, but it didn’t matter. It took him a few moments to realize that the windows were slowly being covered by a black fog. He could see the wisps of smoke curling towards Johnny.

Soap noticed it too, “For fuck’s sake, I hate dealing with wraiths.”

Soap wasn’t too concerned, but Ghost was. He quickly abandoned his perch and booked it for the building. There wasn’t much a sniper could do against a cloud of smoke.

“I’m on my way, don’t die,�� he hoped it went through but the way the radio was crackling didn’t fill him with hope.

“Aff—m—ve,” he was barely able to hear what he said, the radio now spewing a high-pitched ringing as if his tinnitus wasn’t already bad enough. He had to agree with Soap’s earlier comment, he hated dealing with wraiths.

If he didn’t already know the right floor, the unmistakable growl of a pissed wolf and loud crashes would have been a dead giveaway. He climbed through the stairwell as fast as he could. He burst through the door to the fourth floor, the open office space giving him a clear view of the confrontation.

His sergeant, obviously having shifted, in the corner, growling with his teeth bared. In front of him, a wraith stalking him, trying to find a weak point. It looked at him, deciding that between the two, Ghost would be the easier victim.

Ghost felt deep within him when the thing turned Its full attention to him. Wraiths were born of pure misery, torture, and dread, and they were intent on making everyone else suffer an even worse fate than they did. (For several, several years Ghost was convinced he was doomed to become one too, until a certain Scotsman entered his life, at least.) This one was strong, as It stared at him, he could feel all his happy memories turn necrotic.

The two of them stalked towards the other, Ghost’s boots stomping heavily on the ground and the wraith imitating him despite Its floating. It lunged, only becoming tangible when Its hands wrapped around his throat, trying to cut off his airway. As utter dread washed over him, he stabbed at the thing but it turned back to smoke before it could connect. They had entered a fatal tango, though It seemed to have forgotten that there was another involved.

With the wraith distracted, Soap pounced. The tricky thing with fighting wraiths was their ability to become intangible at will. Standard protocol for dealing with one involved lengthy planning and strategizing, wearing them out before—

Oh, good god, It was already dead.

Soap ripped the thing apart in the same way a dog would its favorite chew toy. He had the thing’s neck between his teeth and was shaking It back and forth, the wraith trying to claw at his snout. It was clinging to life until the final tendons gave way and Its body dropped with a heavy thud. Ghost couldn’t find it within himself to feel bad for the thing.

While Its body was now detached from Its neck, Soap still wasn’t done. He put one paw on the thing's head and kept going, not stopping until the wraith had been separated into three parts.

Soap grabbed the throat and happily trotted to Ghost, wanting him to put his hand out.

Uncomprehendingly, he did. Soap dropped it in his hand and barked, his tail excitedly wagging away.

He realized as it was nudged towards him that it was a gift. Soap had gifted him the throat of the creature that tried to kill him. He really couldn’t tell if that meant he was lost in his instincts or if it was Soap being Soap.

“Thanks,” he was touched either way.

The werewolf barked and spun in a circle, having too much energy for such a large thing in such a small space.

“Let’s find that flash drive and get out of here,” Ghost had to fight to keep the baby talk tone he normally used when talking to dogs out of his voice. Werewolves weren’t domesticated dogs and it was beyond rude to treat them as such, regardless of which form they were in or how far in their instincts they were. Still, Ghost couldn’t help but compare the way Soap was jumping around to that of a puppy that didn’t know its size. He was far from an expert in them but he knew Soap was rather large for a werewolf; it was a miracle he fit through the hallways.

They went on to clear the building, eventually finding what they were after a few floors above where the wraith had attacked. Ghost still didn’t know what to do with the esophagus he had been given, so he just… held on to it. What was werewolf etiquette for being gifted a body part?

He remembered the whole thing with cats bringing their owners dead animals because they thought that their owners couldn’t hunt and internally groaned. Please, please, please do not tell him he is expected to eat this?

He hadn’t wanted to set it down because if Soap was in control and had knowingly given it to him, that would just be a dick move. And really, the same applied for if he was lost in his instincts, it would still be mean to simply toss it aside. Maybe he was just overthinking this.

Can you overthink being given the throat of your enemy? It seems like it might be one of those things that you can only under-think.

His pondering was interrupted by Soap stopping and sniffing the air. He let out a rumbling growl, sniffed once more, and then began herding Ghost to the exit. He wanted to ask what was wrong but it wasn’t like the wolf would’ve been able to answer. Regardless, just like his instincts earlier, Ghost knew to trust Soap’s senses.

As they made their way to the ground floor, he could hear engines in the distance.

“Ah, shit…” Why now did they have to return to reclaim their stupid building?

He looked around the perimeter and saw an abandoned truck near the fence. Ghost got Soap’s attention and gestured to the vehicle, both running for it.

When the door didn’t open, he didn’t hesitate to smash in the window. As he hotwired the car, Soap started pacing back and forth, clearly unhappy at the fact that he wasn’t able to help in some way. When the werewolf heard the engine start, he perked up and ran towards the driver’s door, spinning in circles.

Ghost stepped to the side, wanting to let him in before he got behind the wheel. There was shouting coming from in front of them, some poor guard trying to get their attention who likely didn’t realize he was staring at the people who just stole incredibly valuable information right out from underneath their noses.

The guy, somehow not noticing the werewolf, approached, talking about how Ghost shouldn’t have access to the truck. He had the advantage, already holding his gun. They needed a distraction.

Some men stormed out of the exit of the building they had just fled through, gesturing wildly with their hands, shouting, “Something already killed the wraith!”

When eyes turned to the truck, Ghost had already gotten in and put it in drive.

If the guard hadn’t realized earlier, then it probably dawned on him as he had to jump out of the way to avoid getting run over. Some others tried to stop him, but there was a reason Ghost never got a driver’s license. He had spotted a locked chain link fence gate that looked just right for their grand escape and floored it. He laughed at their panic when they realized he wasn’t slowing down but tried not to be disappointed by the lack of sudden speed bumps. Soap had his fun earlier, why can’t Ghost have his?

They cleared the gate with ease and were speeding down old, back country roads in no time. Soap had moved to the backseat (the front being nowhere near big enough for him) and pawed at the window. Ghost, still riding the high of almost running people over, chuckled and let down the window, looking in the rearview mirror as Soap stuck his head out.

Knowing him, he was probably still mostly there and was enjoying having an excuse to be even stupider than usual. Ghost tried not to watch him, but he was happy to see his sergeant so happy. Besides, he’d seen enough shifts gone wrong to know that they were lucky he was still in such high spirits after a fear-induced shift.

He felt something by his foot and glanced down at the floorboard, seeing the throat still sitting there from where he had dropped it to hotwire the car. Huh. Seriously, what in the ever-loving fuck are you supposed to do in this situation?!

When he could safely say that no one was chasing them, he pulled over and got out, Soap following, running around to get out energy that was still pent up. He radioed Price, updating him on the situation. Luckily, there was a safe house nearby. Unluckily, it was a shithole.

It looked like the military saw a house going into foreclosure, bought it, then left it to rot. Even from the outside, he could see that the roof looked one more storm away from collapse and the windows had been boarded up with plywood. The only thing keeping the walls up was the structural support from how much vegetation covered the outside. How homely.

The front door wasn’t even big enough for Soap to fit, they had to go around and find a sliding back door that opened wider (he didn’t chuckle at the fact that the front door was too small for the behemoth of a werewolf, definitely not.) It didn’t take long to clear the house, the only hostile he found was some mold growing in the corner that could probably start another strand of the bubonic plague.

Ghost went back to the main room and picked through their MREs, preparing them while Soap sniffed every nook and cranny of the house. The novelty of such a large thing in such a small area had yet to wear off, and he still silently laughed at Soap having to squeeze through the doors. The wolf continually let out annoyed huffs and Ghost knew that if he still had human vocal chords, he would be prattling on and on about how stupid the door frames were.

Once Soap had checked the house himself, he made his way back and shoved his snout in Ghost’s way, both to see what he was doing and to be a nuisance. Ghost laughed and shoved his face away, knowing Soap was about to start a campaign to make sure the lieutenant wouldn’t be able to prepare their dinner in peace.

His left hand being designated as the ‘shove Soap away’ hand, he was able to continue setting up the heating element one-handed. At some point, Ghost stopped pulling his hand away and left it on his forehead, pushing as needed. And, because Ghost’s main talent is ruining things, it evolved into his left hand scratching Soap’s ears, apparently having forgotten the most basic rule when interacting with werewolves.

“If you wouldn’t do it to a human, don’t do it to them. You wouldn’t walk up to a stranger and start petting their head, would you?”

Ghost stopped and pulled his hand away, muttering an embarrassed apology that wouldn’t come close to making up for treating his sergeant like some random street dog. Throughout the petting, Soap’s head had dropped low, likely having feared retaliation if he protested the ministrations and just deciding to grin and bear it.

Soap growled, shoving his head towards his chest.

“I know, I shouldn’t have done that. It was just…,” just what? Instinct to dehumanize the person who just saved your life?

“Just… nothing. Never mind. It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.”

This time Soap whined and dropped his head in Ghost’s lap, staring up at him sadly.

“I know,” this time even quieter, “I’m sorry.”

By some saving grace, the MREs were ready. He set Soap’s next to him before subtly inching away, not wanting to force the poor man to eat next to him.

Soap huffed and nudged his food closer to Ghost before plopping down practically on top of the man and digging in. Ghost was frozen for a second, staring at his sergeant, before he too relaxed and began eating. It didn’t take long for them to finish up, both inhaling their food as fast as they could. Soap doing so from the increased appetite brought on by shifting, and Ghost hoping that he wouldn’t have to taste whatever the military considered edible.

Within no time Soap was stretching and yawning while Ghost situated himself at the window.

“I’ll take watch while you sleep,” he didn’t even bother trying to lie and pretend that he would wake Soap up to take shifts. No human vocal cords meant no arguing. He got comfortable, moving the curtains to just the right angle for him to see out while keeping the view from outside obscured.

Something was tugging his sleeve. Maybe the werewolf was further in his instincts than he thought.

When he looked, as expected, he saw Soap trying to gently pull him away. Ghost chuckled again, Soap always had to be careful watching his strength when shifted. He pulled his hand back and went to ruffle Soap’s ears before aborting the motion short. He’s not making that mistake again.

“Go to sleep, I know you’re tired from shifting. I’m the one that can still operate a gun.”

Soap growled. Ghost rolled his eyes and turned back to the window, “Go to sleep, sergeant.”

Soap backed away and, for a foolish second, Ghost thought that was it, that he had won.

He tried to lean back against the window frame but his shoulder wasn’t even able to make contact with the wall before something was latching onto his wrist, pulling him towards the corner that their bedrolls had been tossed to.

“Mactavish, that is enough,” he put as much authority in his voice as he could while being yanked around by a very stubborn werewolf. Ghost tried to pull his arm away but, unlike before, Soap’s grip tightened. It wasn’t enough to hurt, at least, so long as he went with Soap it wasn’t.

Soap growled. Just like the grip, before it had been playful, but not now. Ghost went with him, mostly out of shock. It was the first time the wolf’s ire had been directed towards him.

As he was shoved towards the makeshift bed, he gave in, ���Alright, alright, I fucking get it.”

He laid down but didn’t remove any of his gear, as soon as Soap was asleep, he would be taking point at the window.

To his great frustration, Soap already seemed to know his plan and was biting at his tac vest. If Soap was far in his instincts, how would he know why Ghost kept his gear on? Was Soap, of sound body and mind, actually throwing a tantrum over who took watch?

“For Fuck’s sake, sergeant. Pull yourself together,” even as he said it he gave in to the repeated nips and growls and removed most of his gear, save for a gun holster and a few knives.

Soap seemed pleased and pushed his head into Ghost's chest to make him lie down again. He sighed and stared up at the ceiling, knowing he wasn’t exhausted enough for sleep’s mercy to grace him. It was bad enough on base, but on missions, his inability to sleep was somehow worse.

His misery was interrupted by something walking in front of him.

“What the hell was the point of making me lie down if you’re not going to watch either?”

Soap didn’t answer, just turned in circles getting ready to lie down. Until he saw Ghost moving to get up. Then he switched gears and dropped himself on top of him so he couldn’t get up and paid no mind to his gasping.

“Johnny, you-,” he shoved at the wolf and let out a wheezy breath, “you heavy bastard, move.”

Soap did no such thing and stared down at him from a sharp angle, noses less than two inches apart. As Ghost got used to the weight, he was able to breathe fully, finding most of Soap’s weight was dispersed enough that he wouldn’t be dying of crush syndrome anytime soon.

He also knew he wasn’t getting out of this anytime soon.

Ghost sighed to the best of his ability and reached for his radio.

Soap, as expected, growled.

“I’m just grabbing my radio to tell Price we aren’t dead. Is that alright with you?” the sarcasm in his tone was heavy but Soap just huffed and dropped his head back on (and completely covering) Ghost’s chest.

Price is a traitor and he revokes any positive comment he has ever made in regards to the captain. When Ghost informed him of his predicament and the fact that Soap had trapped his superior officer, the cruel bastard just laughed.

Price told him that Soap would hear someone before Ghost could see them with a scope and that he should enjoy the break and sleep. When he complained more, Price had the audacity to wrinkle paper and tell him the signal was dropping. Bastard.

He dropped his radio on the floor and readjusted himself. Chances were, he’d still be able to shrug off Soap once he fell asleep, it would just be a bit more difficult. Johnny was leaning into him and somehow managed to snuggle closer.

/\/\/\/\/\

Simon awoke with phantom images of blood on the carpet and the echoing of screams ringing in his ears.

He was still lying there, trapped underneath his sergeant who he seemed to have woken up with his sudden panic. Thankfully, the wolf moved and let him sit up, still trying to parse through his memories (real, fabricated, and embellished) and unable to get his breathing under control.

Something was tugging his sleeve.

He couldn’t see much beyond his blood-stained hands but recognized the sensation of fur under his fingers as he grieved once again. How many fucking times would he have to go through this? He pushed himself so his back was to the wall and closed his eyes.

It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real.

And yet they're still dead, aren’t they?

There was a weight in his lap. It was something heavy. He felt it and felt the same fur from before. He clenched his eyes tighter and tried desperately to breathe. In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8.

He lifted his hand, feeling like he had to rip out his hair, but Johnny noticed and rooted around, getting his nose under Ghost’s hand. Ghost moved his hand away but Soap just shoved his head back under it. Simon began very hesitantly scratching his ears. In for 6, hold for 9, out for 10.

He allowed himself to relax, if only slightly, and even brought his other hand up to scratch his other ear. Simon buried his head in the fur in front of him. In for 8, hold for 11, out for 12.

Simon cried. He hated doing it, especially in front of others, but he could hear Johnny admonishing him, telling him that crying was healthy, that it was just as necessary as laughter. He always hated the weakness and vulnerability it brought, hated the idea of people knowing he was upset, but Johnny was always the exception, wasn’t he?

After an embarrassing amount of time, he leaned back and wiped his eyes. He saw Johnny’s head resting in his lap, stupidly blue eyes watching him with care. The rest of the room eventually made its way in, light trickling in through cracks in the roof and an early morning chill settling around them. Later, it would likely be so hot that the ice of hypothermia felt desirable, but as for now, Simon shivered.

Johnny wormed closer and curled around him. Unlike last night when it was meant to make sure he would stay down, this time it was to make sure as much of him was covered as possible. Simon felt bad for forcing Johnny into the role of service dog and weighted blanket, but Johnny’s not-quite-snores were rather helpful in assuring him that the wolf enjoyed their current position as much as he did.

Simon continued scratching his ears and muttered a quiet, “Thank you.”

Johnny huffed happily and nuzzled closer.

[little-pondhead]

The Folly of Men -

Chapter 3: #228B22

AO3 - MASTERPOST

[GENERAL TW: Swearing, lukewarm violence, lots of POV changes, and mild body horror.]

-

Damian was still being watched. The summer storm had well and passed, but the eyes he felt on the back of his neck were persistent, following him no matter where he went. He drove himself mad, tearing his room and the rest of Wayne Manor apart for bugs, asked Oracle to scan the city while he patrolled, and even pulled in a favor with some magic users to ensure he wasn't being haunted. Nothing! It was concerning his family, but Damian didn't care. He kept himself surrounded by others at all times whenever he left the house. Something was out there, ready for him to be truly alone. He didn't want to give them the opportunity.

The day came when he was assigned to patrol with Orphan since Batman was with the League but was separated due to the Riddler's schemes. They had solved the riddle already, thankfully, but Damian was intercepted while on his way to their meet-up point.

Pru, a former League assassin, caught his attention from one of Gotham's rooftops, and he swung down to meet her.

“Assassin,” was his only greeting. Damian was not a fool. No matter what had happened between Pru and Drake, she was still dangerous. He drew his sword easily and pointed it at her neck, reminding her that he was still a threat as well.

Pru didn’t look too happy to see him either. “Don’t give me that shit, Robin,” she snarled. “I’m just here to pass on a message.”

“I believe you are loyal to my brother, not me,” Robin hissed. “Why should I believe anything that comes out of your mouth?”

“Because it’s important!” Pru looked frustrated. “Eth Alth'eban is on lockdown, and I barely managed to get out. I can’t get in touch with Red Robin; every time I try, something happens and messages are re-routed or destroyed. Lightning strikes on the communication towers in Antarctica, the encrypted server that runs through Bolivia crashed from a fucking hurricane, even the goddamn carrier pigeon got drawn off course from high winds in Brazil! Do you have any idea how erratic the past two weeks have been? It’s like something is out to get me!”

“So why come to me? You’re in Gotham now.” He pointed out.

Pru threw her hands up, exasperated. “Because Nightwing told me Red Robin is out of the country to help with flooding in Qatar! Apparently, there’s a fucking tropical storm hitting it for the first time ever! You’re the one who really needs to hear this, anyway, so I gave up and found you. It seems Gotham won’t let me leave until I say my piece.”

Damian considered the situation. Pru really did look like she’d been through hell and back. She looked furious at something, and her clothes were still damp from rain. Except it hadn’t rained in Gotham for a while. Not since…the summer storm. The back of his neck tingled again, and he glanced around. Clouds were closing in. Fuck.

He sheathed his sword. Pieces from this puzzle were starting to fall into place, but he needed more information. “Say what you must,” he nodded to Pru while tapping his comms to alert Oracle to the conversation. He also activated his emergency tracker, hoping Orphan or Nightwing would find him in time. Their conversation would end quickly once the woman relayed her message, and Damian wasn't about to force Pru to stay because he was nervous about being alone.

“Finally,” Pru sighed and sat heavily on the rooftop, not minding the glass that dug into her hands and thighs. “Your grandfather has a new Heir.”

Damian blinked, pausing. He wasn’t quite expecting that.

“I only knew about this early because they killed my inside man in the medical department. I got a hold of his notes, and it looks like they were in the middle of treating an unknown entity, and the files all referred to it as the ‘Demon's Heir.’ I'm not Red, so I can't be sure, but the records don't start in a way that would suggest they made a test tube baby or another clone."

"And it is not my cousin they are treating? Perhaps grandfather has changed his mind and declared Mara his ideal Heir."

Pru stared at Gotham's roiling clouds, looking frustrated. She didn't seem to notice anything strange about them. "No. Mara al Ghul was in Kuwait until recently. She and the others from the Demon's Fist were doing something on orders from Mother Soul. It's above my pay grade, so I can't tell you much more than that other than they left suddenly without finishing their business. I'll take a guess that Mother Soul will be pissed about that. I do know that the medical records were updated two days ago to reflect a stab wound to the entity's chest. Their name was also updated: Phantom."

Damian considered Pru's words. He turned the clues over in his mind like stones, carefully examining anything that might hint at deceit. She was telling the truth, unfortunately. "So someone named Phantom has claimed the role of Demon's Heir, and my cousin most likely heard this news first and abandoned her post to attack the usurper," he summarized. "And my grandfather has closed off his city for one reason or another, presumably to either train or protect Phantom. Am I correct?"

Pru nodded. "That's pretty much it, birdie. Whatcha gonna do about it?"

He ignored the jab. "I will consider my options," he said stiffly. "Now that you've served your purpose, leave Gotham immediately." Orphan, where are you?

The former assassin laughed and hauled herself to her feet, brushing off the glass and dirt that stuck to her clothes. "I'll consider it. I've been running around for weeks; Red Robin won't mind if I crash at his, will he?"

"He will."

"Tough shit. See you around!" Pru jumped off the rooftop and into the alley below, not giving a shit about potential muggers as she waltzed into the night.

He was alone.

Damian watched her go before tapping his comms again. “Did you hear everything?” He asked Oracle, but no reply came except static. He expected this but cursed anyway. Thunder started to rumble overhead; he felt it deep in his bones. Whispers of electricity started crawling along the rooftop, following wires and coming dangerously close to touching him. He was forced to back into a corner on the rooftop and hoped his rubber-insulated boots were enough to prevent a shock. The feeling from earlier was stronger than ever. Someone was watching him. They knew he was finally alone. Obviously, Orphan nor Nightwing would get there in time, so Damian would have to deal with this himself.

He turned in a circle, straining his eyes to see through the cloud cover. He still couldn’t pinpoint their location, but he knew they were up there. “Reveal yourself!” He barked, hand on his weapon.

A moment passed. The air pressure changed, making his ears pop uncomfortably. His eyes were trained on the sky as rain started to fall. The clouds above the city gathered wildly, swirling together and reaching down toward him. The bolts of electricity that crawled over the rooftop raced together and rose up to meet it, becoming large bolts of lightning that could do real harm to the city if even one got loose. He stepped back into the corner even further, watching the mass of storm clouds finally get low enough to spread out across the building like a thick fog, revealing a figure in the vague shape of a man.

Great. Of course, it was something magical. He'd be having words with the magic users from earlier.

The man wasn’t touching the ground. In fact, Damian could hardly make out his legs as his broad form blurred from the wind, snatching bits of his green body away. Smaller rain clouds encircled his waist like a belt, and his hair looked more like jagged horns sitting against his brow. While he wore a well-loved weather vest and thick gloves, the rain around them would have soaked the man through by now. But he was perfectly dry. Damian was a little envious.

The man was smiling at him, but not the kind of smile that welcomed him into the conversation. No, this man of clouds and lightning was holding himself like someone was forcing him to be there. His red eyes looked like a swirling red cyclone, and his overall air was disinterested and tired.

Damian flinched as the man opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out except drawn-out screeches and clicks. It sounded like thunder was crashing right next to his ear or a tree getting struck by lightning. He didn't like it. The man frowned, realizing Damian couldn't understand him, and cleared his throat to try again.

“Hello, little Robin,” the man eventually tried, this time in Arabic. His voice was…strange. It sounded like he was gasping with every word, and the thundering sound was still there, muted and layered under the greeting. "I'm sorry, I forgot the people of this world are not natural speakers of the Realm's language."

“I am not little,” Damian snarled, likewise in Arabic.

“Of course not,” the man waved his hand. “A ghost’s size does not determine their power. I greet you nonetheless, little Robin.”

Damian had a feeling that speaking with this man was going to be infuriating. “Who are you?” He demanded. “And why are you in Gotham City?”

“You may call me the Navigator,” the man bowed a little, stiff in his back like he wasn’t used to the action. The Navigator, it seemed, was used to being in power. But by bowing to Damian, he showed his reluctant submission right off the bat, hoping to appease him and have a civil conversation. “And I believe you have a hunch as to why I’m here. You noticed me pretty quickly, after all.”

“So you are the one who’s been stalking me.”

“In plainer terms, yes.”

“I presume you’re the one who’s been messing with Pru as well?”

“You would presume correctly,” The Navigator's face scrunched and swirled like he was making a face of disgust. “I would rather have sent my sylphs to do it, but the Scepter insisted I do this part myself.”

More new information. If Damian remembered, sylphs were elemental wind spirits. So the Navigator was either a spirit himself or someone who could control them. But he said ‘ghost’ earlier. How did that fit in? He didn't look like the undead Damian knew of.

And ‘the Scepter’ was said with an inflection that suggested it was a name. Scepters were symbols of royalty, but Damian didn’t know anyone who actually used one or went by that name. It was no title he’d ever heard of. Whoever they were, they had to be more powerful than the Navigator if they had truly sent him after Robin.

“Aye, I can hear your brain working from here, little Robin.” The Navigator rolled his eyes, stretching the tiny cyclones. “You three are so similar that I’ll never find peace.”

“I don’t quite follow. State your business quickly; I’m losing my patience.”

The Navigator waved his hand, summoning a tablet out of nowhere. He tapped on it a few times clumsily, like he wasn't used to holding it, and then tossed it to Damian. The boy caught it easily and examined the thing. It looked like a normal tablet, similar to the ones Drake made and sold. It had a shield logo stamped on the back with Egyptian hieroglyphs engraved around the edge. It was warm to the touch, and Damian felt a little tingle as he turned it over in his hands. This was filled with magic.

The screen was made from something other than normal glass, that much he could tell as he scrolled away, trying his best to absorb the information quickly while keeping an eye on the stranger. It was a contract, he realized. The contract had been written on papyrus and then scanned in digitally. Half of it was written in a language he recognized but couldn't read. The other half contained details on limitations for the Navigator and instructions he was to follow regarding 'ghostlings,' 'The Guardian,' and...Damian Thomas al Ghul-Wayne.

Damian paled beneath the mask. His full name was in this contract. This was about him. The magical being before him knew who he was. He sped through the pages faster, frantically looking for answers.

...And as stated previously, the Navigator, Ancient of Storms, will grant Damian Thomas al Ghul-Wayne his blessing. This blessing will last the entirety of Damian's natural life until death returns him to the Realms. Upon completing the blessing, the Navigator will dispatch one guard to watch over Damian until the Scepter returns* but will not interfere with him personally.

During this period, the Guardian will fulfill the contract between the Gardener, Ancient of Growth, and one Ra's al Ghul. *The Scepter will enter The Guardian's time loop, and therefore, the Navigator may return to the Realms once the time loop is closed again. The runaway ghostlings will be promptly returned to their Lairs and Haunts in the correct dimensions.

As one last note, the Navigator will also refrain from fucking around with The Sword and The Shield unless he wants to find out what they can do. (I'm serious, too. The Shadow is busy, but I'll still find out if you try something, and I will kick your ass with no hesitation. The other two will be more than willing to punt your ass into Soup Time, as well.)

Upon completing this assignment, I release you from your bind, Ancient of Storms. Return to your Lair and rest with your sylphs. Thank you for your service.

Upon signing, all parties agree to abide by this contract until its terms are met. May the End take our souls if it is ever broken.

The Navigator, Ancient of Storms

Jasmine Nightingale, the Guardian's Scepter

At the bottom, under the signatures, Damian spotted a smaller note addressed to him.

Damian al Ghul, I look forward to our first meeting. Don't forget to bring your sword!

"You," he breathed heavily, glancing up at the mass of clouds. "Explain. What on earth is this?"

The Navigator cocked his head a little too far to the left. "I thought it was pretty self-explanatory," he said in a bored tone. "I was essentially sent on a ravenger hunt to find you and some escaped ghostlings. You shall receive my blessing whether I like it or not, and then I'll leave you to return to my Lair. Hopefully, I'll never have to grace these rotten clouds again!"

"It's 'scavenger hunt.'"

"Huh?"

"Never mind. You are useless at explaining. What is this 'Ancient of Storms' title you have? What are these Realms this contract speaks of? Why must you give me a blessing?"

"Ughhh," the Navigator rolled in the air, groaning. "I'm the embodiment of storms, isn't that obvious? I'd rather deal with Plasmius now than talk with a naive ghostling like you. What kind of ghostling speaks like this anyway? It's rude! I've been practicing my manners; the least you can do is humor me. At least Phantom can figure shit out on his own; I don't have to explain anything to him."

"Phantom?" The name caught Damian's attention. "You know Phantom? Who is he? What does he want with my grandfather?"

"Dunno, little Robin. That's between the Scepter and the Gardener. They had a contract in place decades before your grandfather was even born. And since I'm not allowed near Phantom for a while, all I know is that he's been handed over to Ra's al Ghul for a chance at recovery. He was involved in an incident recently. I don't know the details, but he's hurt so badly it's turning the Realms upside down. That's why I was sent away; I thrive off chaos."

"So, again, you are useless," Damian snarled. He turned away, which, in hindsight, was a stupid move, but he was so angry at the lack of answers that he didn't care. He buried himself back into the tablet, scanning through the contract again, looking for anything useful. Everything seemed so organized, yet the information he wanted felt just out of reach.

He vaguely heard the Navigator mutter in surprise. Something about freaky time visions being too accurate before a blinding white hot pain spread across his body. He dropped the tablet, falling to his knees. It felt like lightning was crawling under his skin, burning him from the inside out. He was distantly aware that he was screaming but didn't know how to stop it. Then the pain was gone in the next instant, and he was left collapsed on the roof, eyes screwed shut as shudders racked his body. He smelled burning flesh. A misty touch brushed away his damp bangs, cooling his brow.

"Yup, I'm pretty sure he's still alive," the Navigator murmured. "Well done, little Robin. Perhaps the Scepter knew what she was talking about when she said you could house my power. Either way, I've said my piece. The rest is up to you. Goodbye, and I hope to never see you again. Feel free to pass on those ghost rabies to the Gardener if you ever see him, though."

And with a rumble of thunder, the presence of the spirit disappeared, taking with him the gentle rain and green storm clouds. Damian lay on that roof for what felt like ages, staring into nothing and dazed from the pain. Nightwing eventually found him, however, with Orphan not far behind.

"Baby Bat!" His elder brother cried, sliding to a stop beside him and gathering Damian in his arms. Cass hovered next to them, unsure of what to do.

"Baba," he croaked in return. "The tablet..."

"Don't worry about that," Nightwing pushed his bangs back, just like the Navigator had. "Are you okay? You're shaking; Oracle lost contact with you over an hour ago and you never showed up to the rendezvous spot. What happened?"

Damian tried to tell him. A being made of storms came by, looking for me by name. He wanted to say. He cut off my comms and shared a contract with me. Then he struck me with lightning and left. We need to bring the tablet back to the Cave for analysis.

But his throat was too dry, and Damian's mind was in too much pain to form the words. As he curled up in Nightwing's arms, all he could mumble was the word 'baba' again and drop his head to the side. Nightwing cursed, instructed Orphan to grab the tablet, and swiftly made the trip back to the Cave with a sense of urgency. Damian groaned the whole way. His body was tender, and every jostle sent tiny shocks through his nerves.

He must have passed out at some point because he remembered skirting around Crime Alley one moment and Alfred checking his vitals the next. The butler gave him a gentle look and dabbed his forehead with a cool cloth. "Where's-" he tried to ask.

"Quiet, Master Damian. Master Dick will be here in a moment." Alfred soothed. Damian dropped it and settled back into the medical bed. When had he taken his clothes off? How long was he out?

A few minutes later, his siblings got the message that he'd awoken and stormed the med bay. "Baby Bat!" Cried Dick, sliding into the room and bolting to Damian's side. "Are you okay? Do you remember us?"

"Yes, baba." Damian croaked. Alfred held a glass of water to his lips, and he sipped carefully to soothe the burn in his throat.

"Dickie told me you got one hell of a shock," Jason, the second eldest, stood in the doorway, arms crossed and staring at them. Cass hung from his side, overwhelmed with anxiety. Steph was shuffling an exhausted Duke into one of the other medical beds, simply so the boy could feel included but still get some rest.

"I did," Damian confessed. Dick gripped his hand tightly, helping him sit up better. "I've been feeling a presence stalk me over the past few weeks, and tonight, I was finally confronted when Cain and I were separated." He left out the part with Pru for now but relayed everything the Navigator had told him, including the details he'd seen on the contract.

Everyone stayed silent as he spoke, but Dick looked like he was ready to bite someone by the end of the story.

"I'm calling everyone back to the Cave," he decided. "This is a Code Addams."

Jason shook his head immediately. "I'm all for punching storm cryptids," he said. "But you know this doesn't fall under Bruce's emergency plans."

"He's right, Dick," Steph frowned. She sat on the other side of Damian's bed, playing with his fingers lightly, and he didn't have the energy to move her. "We can put out a warning, but this sounds like League business to me. Most of us won't really be any help when it comes to al Ghul family drama."

"It's not 'drama,' Brown. Grandfather has taken a new, unknown Heir that has connections to several powerful entities if I'm not mistaken."

Steph nodded. "Yeah! Drama! And if that freaky storm demon shows up again, then we're even less equipped to deal with it. B's not even here right now to help, so we're on our own for this one."

"I'll even send Babs a copy of the contract; she'll probably be able to find something we can't." Jason started tapping away at his phone with one hand, updating the BatKids group chat on the situation and unloading the work onto Barbara.

Dick looked devastated. "But-"

"Hey, Dami?" Duke groaned, cutting everyone off. He was tangled in the thin sheets of the bed now, squinting at the youngest Wayne like he was staring at the sun. "I was kind of half-listening, but you said something about the lightning strike being a blessing, right?"

"Correct."

"Okay, um. Are you aware you glow now? Well, glow more than you used to?"

"...I was not aware. What do you see?"

Duke shuffled and threw an arm over his eyes. The lights of the med bay were giving him a migraine, but he refused to leave now. "You used to just look like a lamp. Now, you look like a bolt of lightning," he said. "There's electricity following your nerves. And your eyes are glowing green—just like Jason's when he's mad. Whatever you got hit with, it's definitely doing something to your body. I just don't know what."

Everyone paused at that.

"Well shit," Jason eventually broke the silence, bringing Cass even closer like a teddy bear. "Looks like we should get a hold of Talia and Bruce, at minimum. Demon Brat, you should probably go to Eth Alth'eban if you want answers."

Damian thumped his head against his thin pillow. "Fuck."

"Potty mouth!"

-

Danny was starting to get tired of waking up sore.

At least he recognized the room. It was the same one as before and actually decorated like a patient's room, not an underground bunker with his own blood splattered on the walls. He groaned, trying to shift his body. How much was he missing? His lungs were back, obviously. They felt raw in his chest. His vocal chords were also half-baked, but speaking wasn't really an issue right now.

What mattered was his pounding headache and the fire beneath his skin. He had started to sweat in his sleep, which is something he'd never done ever since he had died. Danny tried to glance down at this chest. (Had someone slipped his bones back into place?) The bandages were professional work but pulled away easily when he tugged on them. He hissed as they caught on fresh scabs and drew tiny amounts of blood.

His torso was a fucking mess. Danny was underground for ages, he knew. The GIW treated him like an immortal lab rat by tearing open his body every day to poke around and take samples. It was a miracle they didn't find his broken core, which was hidden deep behind his heart.

The cuts on his torso were being held together by surgical staples; no doubt any stitches or glue dissolved when in contact with his blood. His skin was flushed, puckered, and oozed green. The stab wound was fresher and looked nastier than what Lunch Lady could cook up. It was probably infected. He most likely would have scars even as a ghost. Frostbite once told him that wounds to the soul were the hardest to heal, and Danny didn't see himself getting over this anytime soon.

He laid his head back, staring at the smooth ceiling. A whine built in his throat. Why did everything have to hurt? He just wanted to go home.

But where was home?

His home was gone.

He had nothing to return to.

His parents pretty much disowned him the moment they sold him to the GIW.

The whine turned into a quiet sob, and he let himself sit there and shake. All he had ever done was try to be a good son to his parents, a good friend to Sam and Tucker, and a good brother to Dani and Jazz. Why did it have to be up to him to save others? Sure, it was kind of fun, but the stress of protecting both humans and ghosts got to Danny fast. The others didn't understand. No one understood. And now they never will because Danny was gone and had no home.

And there was that heavy pain again. His core became impossibly cold, uncomfortable against his human heart. It was pulling at his skin and at his bones. He gasped and cried, balling up the bandages in his fist. Was his chest caving in? His core felt like it was trying to turn him inside out and tear him apart.

Why was no one there to help him? Why wasn't he good enough to be saved? Was it because he couldn't save that little girl? Were his failures finally catching up to him? He'll do better, he promises...

Desiree must have heard his silent pleas. The door to his room opened, and a single man entered. It took a moment to recognize him through his tears, but Danny eventually saw that he was the same man who had soothed him to sleep previously.

"Ra's al Ghul," Danny managed. The man nodded to him, coming closer to stare at Danny while he writhed on the bed.

"You are having another panic attack."

"C-can't-"

"The doctors say you have lungs once more. Use them."

"It hurts-"

"Then let it hurt," Ra's didn't look away from Danny. He was cold but not disgusted. He expected Danny to be strong enough to handle this himself. "You are my Heir now; either embrace the pain or let go of what torments you. Become stronger."

"I can't!" Danny sobbed. His shoulders shook with the effort it took to speak. "They'll come back-"

Ra's firmly said, "They shall not."

"You don't know that! I'll be cut up again!"

"You are not from this world, Phantom. Whatever torments you cannot follow."

The words slowly sunk into his brain. The weight was lifted off his chest for a moment. Another world? He wasn't in his home dimension? The GIW didn't exist here? His parents weren't waiting around the corner with a bone saw and handcuffs?

That was great, but that also meant he truly was alone now.

There was no way for him to find his way back, was there?

The pressure from his core lessened, and his body stopped trying to eat itself. His chest expanded again, allowing him to breathe properly through choked sobs and broken groans. He clenched his teeth, trying to stop the tears. He really was useless.

"You are not useless, Phantom." Ra's had a hard light in his eyes. "As mentioned before, you are an al Ghul now, one of my grandsons, no matter what you were previously. You are very valuable to the League now, and I refuse to let you go."

Danny sniffed. "I can't offer you much," he said. "I remember that Undergrowth promised you power and knowledge, but I'm practically a high school dropout, and I'm so weak I can barely lift my head."

"So you shall regain your strength. I have lived a long time, grandson, and I shall live even longer. Your recovery will be swift when compared to the erosion of time."

"Mr. al Ghul..." Danny said defeatedly. His throat felt thick from all the crying. "I couldn't even keep my town safe. All I'm good for is killing kings and pissing people off. I don't want to bring you that kind of shame."

Ra did not show any signs of his satisfaction with Danny's words, but Danny could taste it in the air. "So you were a warrior, yes?"

"I-uh, sort of? I'm a ghost, and I died two years ago. Ghosts fight for every reason and no reason. I kinda had to learn on my feet or risk getting Ended."

"A warrior who cannot die. A man who has the will to act." Ra's appraised him like a prized cow. "Yes, I shall be able to use you, child. The al Ghul legacy shall never die out if you become the Demon's Head. Phantom al Ghul is a...fitting name, I suppose."

Danny wrinkled his nose. "I don't know what half of that means, but okay. And my name isn't really Phantom; that's just my title and hero name. My real name is Danny."

"Then, Daniel-"

"Danny!"

"Daniel, now that your tears have stopped, let me call for refreshments and fresh bandages. We must discuss the Gardener's contract and your usefulness in great detail."

Danny sighed. He was calmer, but now he had to do an Ancient's magic paperwork? He'd rather let his core swallow him whole.

At least someone needed him again.

-

The group followed Jazz’s decision without a second thought and stepped through the giant portal alongside her. Luckily, it led right to the edge of the In-Between, where Clockwork and a few others resided in their individual spaces. Jazz yelped as she realized there was no solid surface to land on and flipped around in the air uncontrollably. Sam and Tucker had the same fate. All of them kind of bobbed around like ducks in the water before Danielle sighed, gathered them all up with some rope from Tucker’s pack, and hauled them along in the vague direction of Clockwork’s tower.

For a space called Long Now, it didn't take very long to reach the tower, even with Dani hauling along three passengers. Everyone was pretty quiet during the ride, still processing what they had seen in the underground facility. It was a little strange. None of them felt disgust or fear at Danny's actions, but anger and sadness at what he was forced to endure. Not once did they consider abandoning him, even though others might have shied away from his monstrous outburst.

Jazz wondered what Clockwork could possibly say to them that would make the whole thing better. She just wanted to see Danny. She wanted to sit down with him and watch shitty kid's movies while they huddled under that one big quilt her parents had. The one that was gifted to them as a wedding gift and the one they added to when something important happened. She felt horrible thinking about it now.

Jazz would probably never see that quilt again. And if she did, she would probably burn it.

"We're here," Dani quietly announced, untethering the group from her body as they touched Clockwork's island. Long Now was a special place even in the In-Between. The tower's foundations were in varying stages of decay, and much like its owner, the building warped from looking good as new to 'about to fall over' kind of old right before their eyes. Everything felt so fragile.

They entered the lower entrance, climbing a spiral staircase past rows and rows of clocks lining the walls. Everything was ticking out of sync, which usually annoyed Jazz to no end. Right now, she couldn't care less.

Reaching the top had a lack of fanfare. One minute they were passing the biggest fucking grandfather clock they'd ever seen, and the next, they were in Clockwork's main room at the top of the tower, facing the old ghost himself.

Clockwork didn't even look at them. He seemed exhausted.

"We're here," Jazz announced. "Tell us what you know."

"No greetings, Jasmine? I thought you raised Danny to have manners, so where are yours?"

"Locked behind the walls of Fentonworks. Tell us what you know, Clockwork, or I'll break everything here." She snarled. It wasn't an empty threat, and everyone knew it.

"Please, Clockwork," Tucker added. "We saw your message. Where's Danny?"

Dani started crying into Sam's shoulder. "Where's my brother?" The ghost girl sobbed. "I want to see Danny!"

Clockwork sighed. He was aging rapidly, growing wrinkles as they watched. "Daniel is safe, for now. I hid him in another world. However, the flow of time has changed. New paths are being forged. If things continue as they are, Daniel will become something worse than Dan."

Danielle muffled another sob.

"Daniel did something I did not expect while having his rampage in Yellowstone. It will take a delicate hand to make sure his actions do not cause him to go down the wrong path."

"What did he do?"

Clockwork looked them each in the eye. His eyes were glassy and blank, like the face of a new watch, but his sincerity was enough to reach them. "He sealed off the Realms."

Tucker choked. "I'm sorry, he wHAT??"

"Daniel, in his explosion of sudden power, sealed off the Infinite Realms from your home world's influence. Only the power of an Ancient can break that barrier now. The only portal still open is the one located in Fentonworks, protected by the strongest shield your mortal world has to offer. Vortex had to be sent out to collect ghostlings who didn't return in time. By sealing off the Realms, Daniel effectively declared they were under his protection and claimed the title 'Guardian' since only Guardians have the right to seal off worlds."

Jazz's mind was spinning. "He...sealed off our world. Did he do it on purpose?"

Clockwork shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not. This was a decision made by Fate alone. He was simply the strongest power source available that was also willing to defend the Realms to his End. The Realms responded in kind and claimed him as Guardian. That is a title and a burden he will share forever."

"Oh, god..." Jazz sat heavily on the floor, reeling from the shock. Dani left Sam's shoulder and crumpled into her lap, still crying. Tucker and Sam also offered each other comfort, leaning on each other as Clockwork's words sunk in. "So, what happens to him? Where is he now? What future do we have to avoid?"

Clockwork waved his staff, summoning a few large clocks with reflective surfaces. The clockfaces glitched and changed to show different pictures of Danny, all doing various things at different stages in his life. One had Danny laughing with a group of strangers. Another had him shaking hands with a green-skinned man. A third was him sitting in a hospital bed, getting stabbed in the chest. They cycled through different pictures and videos, and it was hard to look away.

"This is the future we must avoid." Clockwork motioned to the smallest clock, which showed a furious Danny screaming into the vacuum of space, tears pouring down his face. A large rip into the Realms tore open from his Wail, and the stars surrounding him started to get sucked in.

"If this future comes true, Daniel will destroy not only your home world but the Realms as a whole," The Ancient explained. "Because of his new link to the Realms, no one will be able to take the title of Guardian from him. He will become a destroyer and tear apart every universe and every timeline. Everything will just...End."

"That's horrible," Sam whispered. "What's the tipping point?"

Again, Clockwork looked them deep in their eyes. "Your betrayals."

"WHAT??" Danielle screeched, whipping around.

"You betray him by dying, Danielle. You melt in his arms and ask why he didn't save you. Samantha, you betray him by leaving him. Your home world is never unsealed and you can't stand not being able to see your grandmother again. Tucker, you betray him by lying to him. You say you're on his side but end up stabbing him in the back for a 'good cause.' Jasmine, you betray him by acting just like your parents." Jazz felt tears prick her eyes, but Clockwork kept going. "You see the monster he has become and can't look past it. The four of you betraying him would be his last straw, and Daniel would rather tear apart the universe than be reminded of you four ever again. And so he does."

Sam protested, "We would never!"

"You wouldn't." Clockwork agreed. "But you can, and in some ways, you already have. That is how time works. If you do not want to bring about this end, you must actively fight against this destiny like Daniel has fought against Dan."

Tucker whipped out his PDA, already taking notes. "What's the game plan, then? I would rather eat Dash's underwear than stab Danny in the back. If I have to throw hands with an evil version of myself from the future, I'm willing to do that, too."

Clockwork smiled at them for the first time since their arrival. "That was the right response," he told Tucker. "You're already taking a step away from that future. But for the best ending for everyone, all four of you will need to connect with the Realms as well."

"But we don't have the same power that Danny does."

"No, but your will is just as strong as his. Prove to the Realms that you're willing to fight, protect, and love just as much as Daniel. Become his support. Do it right, follow in his footsteps, and the Realms shall accept you with open arms. You will be bound together as a family for eternity."

The four looked at each other. Jazz gently wiped away the remainder of Dani's tears as they pondered over the ghost's words. Connecting with the Realms would probably mean giving up some amount of their humanity, especially if it truly was a forever thing. They might follow in Danny's footsteps a little too closely-but for their friend and brother? They would do anything.

"Fuck eternity!"

"Tell us what to do."

"We'll always be there for Danny."

"I don't plan on eating any underwear, but I will fight evil me if that's what it takes."

Clockwork shriveled up, folding in on himself several times before unfolding into a child, like a phoenix (but without the fire). He looked less exhausted now, less like the promise of the End was no longer hovering over his shoulder. "Become the Guardian's Shadow, Danielle. Take up his mantle while he is away and keep the peace in his stead. Be the Guardian's Sword, Samantha. Be at the front of each fight and kill when he cannot. The Guardian's Shield will be you, Tucker. Your wish to protect those around you will come true, and you will gain the power to shield them from harm. And Jasmine-"

Jazz held her breath.

"You will have the most difficult job. You will be the Guardian's Scepter. His symbol of power. You will work behind the scenes to stage events that shall work in his favor no matter what."

She released her breath, surprised. "A scepter? Like the symbol of royalty? But wasn't the position of King given to another?"

"In sorts. Daniel helped elect a council to rule the Realms and refused to be a part of it. However, you shall be his Scepter, only wielded in times of need. You will take the dark and harsher jobs that shouldn't be brought to life. You will pull the strings to ensure the timelines stay together, and he never strays from the path."

"How would I do that?"

"You need to become my apprentice."

-

After Jason's statement about coming to see Ra's in person, the whole Batfamily blew up. Words were said in person and over text, and Damian was too exhausted at the time to get a word in edgewise, so let Jason argue for him. Eventually, Bruce had to take a moment away from his League duties and settle the matter over a conference call. After debating, he allowed Damian to return to the League of Assassins, provided Dick went with him. The man was already on a leave of absence from his job to cover for Batman, and he could keep a level head when dealing with the Demon's Head.

So off they went as soon as Alfred gave Damian the all-clear. Strangely enough, he had no side effects from being struck by fucking lightning. Well, almost none. He did feel flush every once in a while, and his veins burned like there was liquid battery acid in them, but other than that, he was fine! No, he didn't need another cold press, Alfred! It was only a few hours by plane; he'd be fine!

And honestly, with the news that Eth Alth’eban was on lockdown, Damian thought it would be harder to enter the city. Undetected, at least. Sadly, they were found out immediately and had a group waiting for them as they touched down. As soon as he stepped off the Batplane onto the private airstrip in Yemen, he was quickly surrounded by the 'welcoming' entourage of assassins. They took his bags, herding him toward a black car as Dick jogged to keep up with them. Damian was glad they didn't do a pat-down in their rush; he'd hidden the tablet under his clothes just for this purpose.

"Hey!" his brother shouted. "How did you guys even know we were here?"

"This is a League matter, Nightwing." The head of the group, a one-eyed man named after the god Balor, whom Damian recognized as part of his grandfather's elite, barely turned to look at Grayson and dismissed him entirely.

“No, this is a family matter,” Dick leaned against the door of the car, preventing Balor from opening it and shoving Damian in. They stared at each other long and hard.

“You are not an al Ghul.”

“Damian was nearly killed by a storm demon and told there was a new Heir who is somehow connected to said storm demon. I’m not leaving him alone.”

Balor considered the options before him, glancing at Damian. His one good eye assessed him. The boy simply raised a brow. “I’d prefer it if my baba came with us.”

The assassin’s face twitched, which was the equivalent of a snort of disgust, but gave in to Dick’s demands and herded them both into the car. Two more assassins slid in on either side of them while Balor took the passenger seat. The driver barely glanced at the airport security as they drove the vehicle off the tarmac and into the middle of the desert.

The drive felt long. Damian held a stoic face whenever Balor looked at him and refused to engage in any conversation with Dick. Even when the AC was turned off, everyone started sweating, and his brother was threatening to sing show tunes until they turned it back on.

He ended up singing, of course. Damian just zoned out as his brother started warbling through the entire soundtrack of Hairspray. Truly, the man had questionable taste. For their credit, the assassins made it through the entire performance of Hairspray and halfway through High School Musical before the driver slowly leaned over, never taking their eyes off the desert landscape, and flicked the AC back on to blast. They lasted longer than Bruce would have.

Dick still finished the High School Musical soundtrack despite getting what he wanted. No one ever said he did things half-assed.

Finally, Damian spotted the maze of canyons that housed the Assassin City, Eth Alth’eban. Damian wasn’t sure if his elder brother had ever been there before, but the tight hold he had on his hand suggested that Dick either had very complicated memories of the place or was anxious about being in enemy territory. He wasn’t really interested in asking.

As they approached, the main gate was large and imposing. The sun was high in the sky now and beat down on them to reflect all the minute details that had been carved into the gates. They were gorgeous pieces of work, ones that Ra’s was no doubt very proud of. Guards were there to welcome them, examining the vehicle from top to bottom to ensure nothing strange was being brought in from the outside world. Damian glared at his brother when the man leaned forward to take the attention off of him and the hidden tablet, loudly asking the outside guards when they could go in yet.

One of them narrowed their eyes at Dick. “An extra?” They hissed in Arabic. “This was not approved by the Demon’s Head.”

Balor jerked a thumb at Damian. “His choice,” he responded simply. “The Bats are never alone. The Head is aware of this." Since when? They never called ahead. Damian felt the burn of lighting in his veins again. He caught Balor's eye in the rearview mirror and realized that the man's eye color was much lighter than it was supposed to be. It was shifting between gray and blue, like a cloud, and stared at him with unusual intensity.

Fuck. Of course, the secret guard that was mentioned in the contract. It must have gone into effect when the Navigator returned to wherever he came from. How did he know they would end up in the Eth Alth'eban?

Whatever was said next, Damian missed, but eventually, the gates opened, and the car was let through. Dick was quiet once more, staring at the lush city, probably trying to figure out how to do a backflip off the tall buildings. They headed straight for the palace that was past the training grounds. Most people were taking a noon daybreak, so the grounds were empty when the car pulled up next to the designated drop-off point.

Balor motioned for the group to leave the car, and the two assassins tugged on Dick’s arm painfully, practically dragging him along and not allowing any room for him to wander off. Damian wasn’t touched, but he was no less shuffled in the same direction. They went up the steps, through hallways lined with servants and fountains, following a path Damian recognized easily. They were headed to the medical wing.

His mind raced. Was he ready to meet this ‘Phantom’ fellow? Would he insist on fighting to the death to prove his worth? Had his mother gotten his message and made it here before him? So many questions ran through his head, yet this was not the time to ask them. Damian bit his tongue and instead played the part of the perfect al Ghul. Silent, deadly, and proud.

Balor was leading the way. He studied the older man's back carefully, looking for any other inconsistencies in his behavior. There were none, except for a single cloud symbol stamped into his neck that shimmered the same color as Vortex. Did this mean he was possessed? Was he another one of the Navigator's blessed? Did Damian also have the same symbol? No one else seemed to notice the mark, so Damian put it in the back of his mind. He'd have Dick check his neck later, just in case.

They'd reached the end of the medical wing now, where Damian knew the rooms were sealed off for quarantined patients.

Indeed, a pair of guards stood in front of the extra set of doors. Balor nodded to the guards and pushed through without stopping. The quarantined corridor was short, with only six rooms, three on each side. Five were marked with a little green flag by the door, indicating their vacancy. The sixth, the farthest on the left, had a little red flag displayed. Damian pushed his way to the front of the group and beelined for the door. This was it. Soon, he'd have some answers.

His grandfather opened the door before he could knock. The al Ghuls looked at each other, noting how much had changed since they had last seen each other. His grandfather looked…well. He was healthy, and there were no visible injuries. His clothes were immaculate but simpler than his usual ornate robes. It felt like Ra's was dressed for a close social visit, not for taking over the world and planning murder.

"Damian," His grandfather was as short as ever, however. "You are late."

"Good to see you too, old man," Dick snarked. Ra's ignored him, waving a hand to Balor, who promptly shut the door again before Dick could walk through after Damian. The two were to wait in the hallway, apparently.

Damian moved further past his grandfather, forgoing the greeting. His eyes were glued to the hospital bed. Draped in rich blankets and wrapped in soft cotton bandages, a boy around his age was sitting up and staring at him with green eyes similar to his own. He was holding a glass of Lazarus water, raised to his lips like he was about to drink it. Honestly, if it wasn't for his incredibly pale skin and wispy white hair, the boy could have been his-

"Holy shit, we look exactly the same!" The boy lowered the glass, staring at Damian in wonder. His voice was double-layered, like the Navigator's, and it grated on Damian's mind with the sounds of screaming and creaking ice. "Are you Mr. al Ghul's other grandson? This is so freaky!"

Ah, so this was Phantom.

-

[wheredafandomat]

Party girl P2 : Trouble

Mob! Loki x female reader

18+ | contains smut - I wasn’t gonna do another part but here, Ao3 and wattpad are asking and of course I aim to please || Part 1 if you didn’t catch it TW KIDNAP

You regarded the roses suspiciously despite knowing they were from Loki although you didn’t give him your address. Remembering his status, you assumed he had connections and put the flower delivery down to that. Too fixated on the small card in your hand, you had failed to notice Natasha’s questioning gaze as she watched you.

“What’s that?” She asked, snapping you back to reality.

“Roses.” You answered plainly.

“Yeah, from who?” She delved.

“Never mind.” You shrugged, about to pass her before she stopped you.

“Come on, don’t be like that, show me the card.” She requested.

“No.”

“Y/n.” She spoke warningly.

“No.” You repeated, a smile spreading across your face before you broke off into a sprint around the apartment, Natasha quick to chase you. Both of you giggled, petals flying around the living room as you ran into it, circling the couch. When she finally caught you, she took the card from your hands, gasping as she read it.

“L as in Loki? How did he even get our address?”

“I don’t knowww.” You replied, sitting on the couch.

“Did you two?” She asked, clearly alluding to sex.

“Yess.” You smiled.

“Was it good?”

“Amazing” you sighed dreamily “but I told him I wasn’t looking for commitment and that that was supposed to be a one night thing but all these roses look like commitment.” You huffed.

“Or maybe he’s just thanking you for the good night. It’ll stop.” She assured.

“I hope.”

But it didn’t stop. Every day a bouquet of some type of flowers arrived at your door. As the week went on, the apartment grew full of them, the fragrant smell overpowering anything else. Eventually you began distributing them to your neighbours, wanting everyone to enjoy the fruits of your labour so to speak.

When it got to the end of the week, you began noticing a black Rolls Royce situated outside your apartment. At first it wasn’t suspicious considering you lived in quite a wealthy neighbourhood but then you noticed it didn’t move much during the day. The tinted windows made it impossible to tell whether or not someone was ever inside but considering it’d sometimes be in different locations, all still close to you, you assumed someone was inside which meant that they didn’t really leave the car. You felt surveilled, it was evident that whoever was in the car was interested in seeing you as you began noticing it following you around. When you brought it up to Nat, she told you you were being paranoid. So you were being paranoid.

“Is she not the most buigiling thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on.” Loki hummed contently as he watched you reading from your apartment, his car paired with the lack of privacy from your open curtains offering the perfect view of you.

“Loki, we’ve got business we need to deal with, you can’t just keep—”

“Silence!” Loki interrupted before calming himself down “make no mistake, I am very much aware of the situation however y/n has not yet thanked me for the flowers and I find such rudeness punishable.” He spoke.

“You’re going to kill her? Gosh Loki I—”

“No I’m not going to kill her, perhaps spank her yes” he smirked at the thought “or maybe I’ll have her on her knees begging for my forgiveness” he continued, smirk growing “regardless, my patience is wearing thin, clearly my more subtle approach isn’t working.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I have a few ideas.” Loki chuckled.

When you left your apartment this morning, the last thing you thought was going to happen was that a stranger was going to jump out at you, grab you and drag you to his car. Despite your desperate attempts at fleeing, he was too strong, too overpowering. You thrashed and screamed, no one hearing you until you gave up. Surprisingly, you were not carried to the boot and instead had your seatbelt secured by the kidnapper who then waved a bottle of water in your face leaving you confused.

“I’m not a monster.” He shrugged, leaving the water on your lap.

“How do I know it’s not poisoned?” You questioned. Huffing, the man picked the bottle up before opening it and taking a sip.

“Not a monster.” He concluded, handing you back the water before entering the car.

“Where are we going?” You then asked once he started driving, confused as to what the protocol was for a kidnap.

“Boss wants you.” He answered.

“Boss? What do you mean—” you began to panic before realisation hit you “Loki! Loki did this!” You exclaimed.

“Yes ma’am.” The man confirmed leaving you fuming.

“Let me out.” You demanded.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” The man shrugged.

“Fine, I’ll deal with him when I see him.” You decided, crossing your arms.

The drive was nice despite the fact that it was against your will. You eventually learned your kidnappers name, Bucky, and passed time talking to one another. By the time you approached where you assumed was Loki’s estate, your conversation drew to a close.

“Just tell her how you feel and be direct, unlike some.” You advised, your sentence ending venomously as your eyes met Loki’s. Pushing the car door open, you stormed towards him angrily before being stopped by one of his security guards.

“Let her go” he spoke nonchalantly before smiling at you being set down “feisty.”

“What the fuck Loki? What’s this?” You shouted.

“What?” He answered feigning innconcence.

“You’ve kidnapped me.” You snarled.

“I wouldn’t say it’s a kidnap, that makes it sound dramatic” he began “in fact, you’re not being held here against your will, I just wanted a thank you for the flowers.”

“Here’s your thank you.” You replied, putting your middle fingers up causing Loki’s brows to furrow.

“That’s not nice.”

“Sorry, I know it was a bit overdramatic.” You agreed, Loki nodding as you spoke “but you did kidnap me.” You reasoned.

“Enough with the accusations, join me for a meal.” He welcomed.

“A meal?” You scoffed.

“I’ve brought the best chef in to prepare us a meal.”

“You’re insane.” You stressed as Loki gestured for you to follow him inside. “Don’t tell me you kidnapped them too.” You mumbled, following him inside.

When you reached what you assumed was the dining room, Loki pulled a chair out before gesturing for you to sit on it. You did so, allowing him to tuck the chair in. In front of you there was a selection of different foods and fruits as well as bottles of champagne. You took a steadying breath contemplating your life choices leading you up to this moment.

“Do you need me to feed you or are you capable?”

You glanced up at Loki who was sitting next to you before narrowing your gaze at him.

“Yes I’m capable.” You answered, picking up a knife and fork. Stabbing at a piece of food, you brought it to your lips before taking a bite. “That’s amazing.” You complimented just above a whisper.

“Only the best for you.” Loki grinned before picking up something. “You must try the pitted olives.” He insisted, using a cocktail stick to pick one up before feeding it to you.

“Mmm, that’s nice.” You hummed before Loki fed you another. He marveled in your sounds of appreciation, growing excited as you closed your eyes, swallowing.

Opening your eyes again, you noticed Loki looking at you intently.

“What’s your game here? What do you want?” You confronted him.

“For you to say thank you.” He answered causing you to roll your eyes.

“Really?” You huffed “a thank you? Cut the bullshit Loki and tell me what you really want.”

“Truthfully” he began, standing up and stepping behind you, his hands finding your shoulders before he began moving them in a way that could only be described as perfectly leaving you melting into his touch “I find myself wanting to please you” he admitted, lowering his lips to your ear to whisper, placing a single kiss just below it “and pleasing someone other than myself isn't in my nature so what is it about you that I can’t get over?” He queried, still gently massaging your shoulders.

“I told you I wasn’t looking for anything long term.” You opined.

“And I said I wasn’t the commitment type” he retorted “believe me, I have tried to get you out of my head. Every night I try to get you out of my head but no one fits me like you do. No one comes close to making me forget that night so let me have one more, here with you, in my bed, my terms and then you can go.” He proposed.

“No.” You quickly answered.

“No?”

“If you want me, you can have me right here, hard and fast and then I leave.” You bargained.

“It’s quite exhilarating, isn’t it.” Loki smiled coyly.

“What is?”

“Being ordered around” he began, lowering his lips to your ear again “I like it.”

Before long, the both of you were on your feet, Loki’s tongue pushing past your lips as he claimed your mouth. His hand was against your cheek as you leaned back against the table, kissing him back just as fiercely. His hand fell from your cheek before venturing down your body and finding purchase between your legs. His skillful hand cupped your pussy leaving you gasping into the kiss as he moved it to and fro. Using his other hand, he pushed you further against the table, ensuring you were stable before falling to his knees in front of you. He made fast work of eagerly tugging your trousers down as well as your panties, pulling them off of you before he was prising your legs apart, hungrily kissing your thighs. It didn’t take long for him to reach your centre leaving you moaning lewdly as his lips latched onto your clit. You ground your hips against his face as he flicked the bundle of nerves with his tongue before flattening it against it. Your head fell backwards, Loki’s name falling like a chant from your lips as he suckled on your clit. He felt you throbbing needily against him as he traced your pussy with his tongue before dipping it into your entrance leaving your legs trembling.

“I’m gonna cum.” You almost cried, legs clamping shut around Loki’s head as he circled your clit again leaving you spiraling into oblivion. “Fuckk.” You panted, reaching your climax.

Barely allowing you time to come down from your high, Loki was back up, freeing his hard length as he pushed you further up the table with his hips. Gripping it, he moved it through your sensitive folds, coating himself in your slick before reaching your entrance. Your eyes met briefly, your gaze daring him to enter you. Hard and fast you said. A small smirk spread across his lips as he pushed inside of you. He didn’t give you any time to adjust. Hard and fast. He bottomed out before slamming inside of you again, the movement leaving the table rocking. Hard and fast. Your eyes screwed tightly shut as Loki’s long cock moved in and out of your sensitive tunnel, every vein well received by your walls. His thrusts were merciless, his growls loud as he bared his teeth, fucking you against the table. Finally, he was back inside of you, where he fit, where he belonged.

“Say thank you.” He spoke, catching you off guard.

“No.” You answered, opening your eyes again.

“Say. It.” He ordered, thrusting harder with each word.

“Noo.” You insisted, clenching your walls around him, both of you granting each other pure, filthy pleasure. You lost all composure, practically crumbling beneath him as he reached between you again, using his thumb to toy with your clit. “I’m cumming.” You screamed, body tensing until you released but Loki didn’t relent, he continued playing with your clit, fucking your overstimulated pussy. “Lokiii.” You begged, needing him to stop, pleading with him to carry on.

“Say thank you.” He answered.

“N-no.” You choked out making Loki thrust harder until things were falling off of the table.

“Thank me!” He demanded.

“Fuckkk, I’m sooo closeeee Lokii.” You yelled.

“Thank me goddamn it.” He insisted, doubling over as he rested his head in the crook of your neck, thrusts growing sloppy.

“Thank youu.” You moaned, voice sultry in his ear as you reached another orgasm, Loki doing the same as he released inside of you.

Time stopped, both of you panting as Loki lifted his head, your gazes meeting again as you mapped one another’s faces. He was sweating, no doubt you were too as your heart rate began to slow. Your lips met haphazardly as Loki helped you to sit up before pulling out of you.

“I-I’m going to shower and then I’m leaving.” You spoke, trying to sound even, in charge.

“Very well” he spoke, handing you the trousers and panties that he previously tore off of you before clicking his fingers once you were dressed, Bucky entering the room “show her to my room.”

“Loki—” you began to protest.

“I’m not following you, don't worry” he interrupted “you can shower in there and then meet Bucky at the front, he’ll take you home.” He explained, turning away from you before you left.

Just over an hour later, Loki returned to his room finding it empty. Noticing that his wardrobe was open he walked towards it, smiling when he saw your clothes hung up on a hanger one of his shirts used to be. Making his way to the bed, he spotted the panties you were previously wearing as well as a note.

Consider me pleased x

But that gif 🥵

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@lokiprompts @mischief2sarawr @lulubelle814 @lokisgoodgirl @mochie85 @eyesbluelikethetitanic @vickie5446 @mcufan72 @fictive-sl0th @peaches1958 @lokilvrr @evelyn-kingsley @strangelockd @xorpsbane @lovingchoices14 @donaweasley @sailorholly @lokidokieokie

[hee0soo]

Lobby Savior

Hongjoong x ATINY!Reader (female)

Summary: Going to see Ateez in concert was something you dreamed of and now that the concert is over, you only have to get back to the hotel. Too bad that you´re a young woman, alone, in a city you don´t know, at night!

Disclaimer: my delulu brain wanted me to write this and while this isn´t something i ususally do, i am a bit proud of it!

TW: Kidnapping and abduction

Y/c- your city

Y/n –your name

Disclaimer: this fic is written and copyrighted by ©hee0soo on tumblr. do not rewrite or repost on any other plattforms without my permission.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Also posted on AO3

Leaving the venue with all the other Atiny´s was kind of overwhelming! Not just because everyone was leaving at the same time and there wasn´t a lot of space to walk, but because the sadness of the concert being over started to creep up on you!

Only that you wouldn´t leave immediately, you still had the privilege of meeting the boys through the hi touch before leaving!

It had been 2 hours of screaming, singing along, dancing and cheering and it was worth all the money you had spent on this trip to (y/c)!

But now your legs were hurting and especially your knees and feet were aching!

Why you had decided to wear shoes with even the slightest bit of heel attached to them, was beyond you!

Scratch that, you knew why you wore them! It was because they had fit with the outfit chosen and you felt cute in them!

But it did not calm the stinging pain that was now bothering you.

It did not stop you however from hurrying through the crowd to the next visible staff member to ask where you had to go to at least wave at your idols!

They showed you the direction and after some very confusing 15 minutes of searching, you finally found your way.

Almost tripping over your own two feet, you waved excitedly at them. They looked exhausted and you hoped that they could go back to the hotel and rest soon.

You also felt tired and seeing them one last time before leaving gave you a much needed energy boost before the moment was over again

Now the only thing left to do for this evening was getting back to the hotel and get some much needed sleep!

The bus and train connection had already been saved on your phone and you quickly bought a ticket before making your way to the bus station near the venue.

There were still a lot of Atiny’s around so you felt comfortable being alone on the bus, but the longer the drive was, the more people got of it!

You only had one more stop until you had to take the train and half of people had already gotten off on previous stations!

The bus stopped and you quickly went outside. Having to hurry up since the train wouldn´t wait for you, your steps quickened.

It was almost midnight and you were in a city you didn´t know anyone in, which made you shiver. The cold of the night not really helping you situation!

Getting on the train was easy. Not a lot of people were on so you sat down in a seat close to the doors.

The ride took about ten minutes so you let your mind wander a bit.

What were the boys doing right now? Did they finally go back to their hotel? Had they finally the chance to rest or were they still at the venue?

The question was answered when you got a notification on your phone from YouTube.

Seonghwa had started a Live and it looked weirdly familiar! The realization hit you like lightning. The room looked like you own hotel room. The bed, the décor and even the painting on the wall was matching with the décor in your own room!

They had probably been driven back by car which explained why they were already back before you!

You weren´t planning on actually doing anything with the information! They deserved their privacy and you weren´t going to impose on that like that one girl did to Jongho in Berlin!

Finally the stop you wanted was announced!

Quickly getting of you made your way to the hotel. It was only a short walk but after half of it you started feeling like someone had followed you.

Looking behind you, the feeling turned into reality when there was a dark figure walking a few meters behind you.

They had a dark hoodie on. Hood thrown over their head and hands buried in the pockets!

You could already see the hotel in the distance and started walking even faster than before while hugging yourself tightly! Hoping it would hide you a bit from the figure!

It didn´t work! The person also started walking faster!

As you reached the hotel, you were sure the person let up but no1 he followed you inside. There was no one in sight when you came into the lobby! Only one person was in on e of the corners further away. He had his laptop spread out in front of him with a mask on and hat on his head. Bright brown strands of hair was peeking out from underneath.

He looked up when he heard footsteps. You could swear that he seemed familiar, even hidden underneath the mask and hat but you didn´t think about it anymore when the person stepped a little to close behind you and laid his hand on your shoulder!

Goosebumps spread on your entire body and horror made itself visible on your face.

The guy with the laptop realized something was very wrong about the situation and sprang into action.

“Jagi-ya! There you are! I was waiting waiting. For you!” he called with an accent underlining his words., quickly coming over.

The figure had realized that you weren´t alone! Vanishing thought the door, the way you came in.

Still coming over to you, the guy stepped in front of you but out of instinct you flinched away!

Realizing that you were scared, he removed the mask so you could see his face.

Behind the mask was Hongjoong. Gone was the makeup he was wearing for the concert, leaving only his bare face but just as handsome!

His kind eyes looked worried and he scanned you for any visible injuries.

He noticed the merch you were still wearing, giving away where you have been only an hour ago!

“Are you, okay?!” he paused a bit before taking you hand in his and led you to the table where he was working up until now, making you sit and breathe deeply.

You were shacking, adrenaline leaving your body only slowly.

Not being able to say much, you just nodded before shaking your head.

Hongjoong took the water he had taken with him and made you drink from it. He had yet to drink from it so he wasn´t worried about germs or anything.

“It´s ,okay. You are, save now!” he spoke and sat down in front of you.

You two sat in silence for a while before you found the energy to say something.

“I didn´t follow you here… I didn´t even know you were in this hotel now!”

The ATEEZ leader had to laugh at that. Seeing the way you had ran in and flinched away from him at first, he was sure you had other sing in mind then meeting him after what happened!

“I believe you.”

He had to smile. It was cute how you tried to look away from him and the laptop.

“I was just. Working. I like helping Atiny when they need. Help!”

“Why are you working down here where everyone could see you?”

Hongjoong shrugged.

“Seonghwa. LIVEu and other member, loud!”

That one made you laugh again. THAT was something you believed without questioning.

“You like concert?”

Nodding you finally made eye contact with him.

“It was amazing. YOU were amazing!”

The boy blushed at the compliment. Atiny´s often told them that but it was different when it wasn´t in the setting of a meet and greet or FanCall!

“Ah thank you!”

You wanted to say something but a pink haired someone came running inside the lobby, followed by 2 brunette boys, all screaming for Hongjoong you guessed!

They came to an abrupt halt when they saw their Hyung wasn’t alone.

Mingi, San and Wooyoung stared at you and you stared back. None of you knew what to do at the moment but the moment got broken when Hongjoong scolded them for being so loud at this time.

Not that you understood what he was saying to his members but it´s what you imagined you would do if you were in his shoes right now.

Their faces quickly changed from scared to sheepish to worried.

So he told them what happened huh?

“So our. manager calls us! Can we. Take you to. Room please?”

You looked back at the 3 other members who were grinning at you and nodded slowly before getting up.

Hongjoong packed up and showed you the way to the elevator.

“You ATINY?  What´s your name?” San asked softly.

You told them your entire name and pushed the button to your floor after entering the elevator.

They didn´t take you to your room because you insisted they go rest and wished them a good night.

The next day when you went to check out you saw them in passing as they were leaving the hotel with the manager. Hongjoong waved at you and Mingi winked in your direction.

None of the members looked disturbed and not even the manager intervened. They all seemed relieved when they saw that you seemed okay after a bit of sleep.

The receptionist took your key card and printed the receipt for you before handing it to you with an envelope.

You thanked him, left and opened the envelope. Inside was a Polaroid pic of the members, the back was signed by all of them, with a note attached.

Get home safe y/n! - Yours, ATEEZ

[mikage-rehoe]

Candy Apple

pairing: Kozume Kenma x gn!reader

genre: fluff

wc: 0.7k

tw/cw: none; also Kenma and reader are both in high school.

a/n: repost from one of my old blogs—my very first Kenma fic I wrote in this hellsite (affectionate)! Been betaread by some of my old moots (especially the author of “Managing the Cat’s Den”, the amazing @/EdenXWrites (neé @/edensxgarden on Tumblr) on AO3) a few years ago. Based on a Kenma matsuri fanart by Korean HQ fanartist @/_Hemoon on X (tweet long been deleted, alongside similar fanarts of Kuroo + BokuAka; fortunately I saved the images of Kenma in a yukata before they deleted it 🥰). Tweaked it a bit coz I cringed at how I wrote it in 2020 vs how I write now. Tagging @enchantedforest-network

Kisa’s General Taglist ❤️💜💛

“Uwaaa! So many people have come here to see the fireworks~” your sparkling eyes marveled at the bustling scene at the shrine. You and your friend/classmate decided to watch the big fireworks display at tonight’s summer festival. Honestly, it was a one-sided plan, as it was your idea to go there and you ordered him to come (much to his chagrin), so you dressed up in your yukatas and went to the nearby shrine.

“Nee, nee, Kozume-kun, how about—what are you doing?”

“Huh?” Your said classmate and friend Kozume Kenma stared at you, his smartphone on hand. Probably playing games again.

“I already told you to stop playing with your phone while we’re here!” You tried to grab his phone from his hands, but he was swift to hide it behind his back. “Just for tonight, please have fun…”

Kenma slid his phone back to his pouch.

“But I am having fun, L/N-san,” he retorted.

You shook your head. “No, no! I mean, this—,“ you raised your arms, “—kind of physical fun! I’m telling you, Kozume-kun, you’re missing a lot!”

You looked at him with determination and awe, pouting. Which, he thought, is cute. But he won’t tell you straight in the face. Not yet.

The puddinghead boy then sighed and meekly smiled. “Okay, fine, you won, L/N-san.”

“Yuss!” You did a peace sign, grinning.

The two of you walked side by side across the shrine’s stone pavement, checking on different stalls. “The fireworks display doesn’t start before seven,” you checked your phone’s time, which read 18:46. “Want to snack on something first?” you pointed at the nearest food stall situated beside a large tree.

Kenma nodded in agreement, and you two went towards it. The stall sold all kinds of candied fruits and desserts, most particularly ringo ame or candy apples. “Which one do you like—?” You noticed him looking longingly at the shiny red display, like a cat staring hungrily on its prey.

Oh yeah, he loves apples and apple pie, you chuckled to yourself while buying snacks for the both of you.

“Here, for you!” You handed him his candy apple.

Kenma hesitated for a moment before deciding to take it, his long setter fingers nearly touching your own. Even if he doesn’t show it on his face, Kenma’s golden orbs twinkled on the red and sticky dessert. “T-thanks. Here, let me pay for these—“

“Nope! Already paid for it,” you bit on your stick. The sweetness of the sugar coating complemented well with the tartness of the apple. You winked. “As compensation for bothering you yesterday about going here with me.”

He annoyingly narrowed his eyes at you. “Are you my employer?”

Five minutes till showtime, you pointed at the arching bridge across the pavement. “Hey, Kozume-kun, let’s go over there! I think that’s a perfect viewing spot.” You grabbed his wrist and walked faster. “C’mon!”

Both of you settled on your viewing spots—you leaning your arms on the wooden railing chewing on your candy apple, Kenma beside you leaning on his bottom with his stick, staring at his geta’d feet.

“Hm? Aren’t you gonna eat yours, Kozume-kun?” You glanced at him. “It’ll fall down if you keep on holding it like that.” You took another bite of your candy apple.

“Uh… yeah… I will.” He tucked some of his blonde locks on his ear and turned to you, gently touching your wrist. “Itadakimasu.”

“...hrrmph?” Your mind went blank as he leaned towards you and bit on the opposite side of your candy apple (with your teeth still attached to it). Playful cat-like eyes stared at you. Your breath hitched, your heartbeat doubled.

Kenma leaned back, a smirk formed while licking the sugar off his lips. “Gochisousama.”

DON! DON DON!

Hearing the sound of fireworks brought you back to reality. Hard.

“K-k-k-k—“ you stuttered, a full-blown blushing mess yourself. “I-IDIOT, THAT’S AN INDIRECT KISS YOU’VE MADE!!”

Puddinghead shrugged it off, taking his first bite of his own candy apple. “So what if it is? I don’t mind doing it again with you.”

“Wha—“

“I like you, Y/N. I really, really like you.”

Bonus:

“Hey, Kenma-kun, when did you take this?” You grabbed his phone and pointed at the screen. He made a candid shot of you beaming as his phone’s lock screen wallpaper.

“Shortly after our arrival at the shrine last night,” he flushed slightly as you handed him his phone back. “You were kind of amazed seeing the place back then that I secretly took a snapshot of you. You looked cute there, by the way, Y/N.” Kenma smiled at you, which made your face feel hot at your boyfriend’s action.

“Ahhhh mou~ stop teasing me, idiot! Delete it!”

“No can do.”

“Please~?!”

“No.”

.

.

.

“Kenma—“

“No!”

Likes are okay, reblogs and comments are nice, reposts and plagiarism stuff are frowned upon 🥰 | ALL WORKS BY SUGARBEBENIREO © 2023

[sweet-as-an-angel]

how would yan! cult leader react if he found out that we were only acting nice so we could escape him?

Good question, Anon; thank you for sharing it with us !

TW: Mentioned Loss of Limbs, Public Punishment, Implied Private Punishment, Injury, Pack Mentality, Manipulation, Horrific Cult! Leader, Cruel! Cult Leader

♡ He'll settle for none of that.

♡ The second he's aware of your plot - the second he's able to prove it - he orders a town meeting.

♡ About what, I hear you ask?

♡ You, of course!

♡ Yandere! Cult Leader will speak to his compound subjects and outline that there is a non-believer in the pack. A screw in the works.

♡ He'll look at you, a glint in his eye.

♡ And all you can do is stay. Running will only bring about the result of your betrayal sooner.

♡ He'll tell everyone that the situation can be put right, but only if the person steps forward. He already knows who it is, he assures, but he wants to give them the chance to prove their respect for their fellow family by removing the wool from their eyes. Voluntarily.

♡ When you refuse to give yourself up so easily, he heaves a sigh, as if burdened beneath the weight of what he must do next.

♡ He points you out, names you as the traitor. Sentences you to corporal punishment in the Square.

♡ Nothing so Infinitesimal as the docks or a slap on the wrist. Something more to the tune of a saw against wood, then bone, then screaming.

♡ You're lucky you only lost one arm, he tells you later, in the privacy of his quarters. Your punishment extends far beyond public mutilation. Now, he's determined to beat the untrustworthiness out of you, one way or another.

♡ "Should've been one for every lie you've told." He looks down at you, shaking, face pallid, colour drained from your lips. "Luckily for you, you'd be no use to me immobile."

♡ He stops. Thinks.

♡ "Then again," he comes down on one knee before you. Takes your chin between his fingers and guides your eyes to his.

♡ "There wouldn't be anything you could do to stop me if you were."

♡ What he says isn't what frightens you. It's the fact that you can see he's considering it.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

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[corrodedseraphine]

perfectly wrong | #1 I wish you hadn't saved me

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

chapter summary: When you all get together to say goodbye to Corroded Coffin before going on tour, the evening ends with a standard argument between you and Steve. The next day, under the influence of a massive hangover, he wonders if he might have overreacted, when he gets called to help with a patient. From a conversation between a doctor and another nurse, he learns that the person who showed up is in a very difficult situation. He was definitely not ready for who he finds there.

TW: mentions of pregnancy, domestic violence, blood, wounds and bruises, let me know if I forgot about something!

The story is also avaliable on ao3

masterlist | steve harrington masterlist | general masterlist

@phantypurple thank you so much for helping me with this whole "enemies" thing, I am new in it and your support really helped me ❤

Before we start!I don't have much knowledge about pregnancy, being a nurse etc, which doesn't change the fact that I will try to do research and write everything in the best way possible, I hope you will forgive me!

In the beginning, everything may seem quite chaotic, I do not hide it and I realize that after reading the first chapter you will be a bit confused and many questions will appear, but with each chapter I will try to develop it and clear up doubts.

Your opinion, feedback, questions or ideas are always welcome! If there is something what would you like to see in the story feel free to tell me about it in comments or in my inbox which is always open for you guys! Thank you so much for reading!

As soon as you crossed the threshold of The Hideout Robin immediately shouted your name. You cut through the crowd of people and with a smile on your lips made your way to your friends. Today was Corroded Coffin's first concert after the "earthquake." When Eddie finally recovered from everything that had happened he couldn't wait m until he returned to the stage. At first everyone thought that after what he experienced in the Upside Down he wouldn't be able to look at a guitar again, but he surprised you all. All the experiences inspired him to write many of the songs that, with the help of the government, will make up the band's first album. So this was the first and last concert for the guys before they set out to follow their dreams. You as good friends couldn't miss it.

"Am I late?" you asked, sitting down between Robin and Argyle. 

"No, they are just getting ready to go on stage. I'm glad you're here." your friend said. 

"I know, Ro. I'm sorry." You said grabbing her hand with a gentle expression on your face. Since your private life had turned everything around you had kept your encounters with other people to a minimum. You isolated yourself completely, however, you couldn't miss today's concert, you knew it was too important to just not come. 

"And who my beautiful eyes see!" Steve shouted and with a loud clang he set down his beer bottle. This was definitely not his first. "Look who has kindly decided to show up!"

"I really don't have the energy for your drama, Steve." You sighed rolling your eyes. 

"Woah! So you know my name?" he fiercely rambled on. 

This is what it looked like. Your relationship with Steve was...complicated. No one expected you to end up at a stage where you couldn't stand each other in the same room. The sarcastic comments from his mouth were something quite gentle anyway. Normally you wouldn't have let it go however today you really didn't have the strength to do so, so you just ignored him and didn't answer anything.

The concert was going nicely, one could say too nicely, considering that for over an hour you didn't hear a single offensive word in your direction, and you really enjoyed your first meeting with friends in a long time. Unfortunately, it was the lull before the storm. 

Steve definitely needed to de-stress, from what Robin told you he had failed a pretty important exam, so he decided to drown his sorrows in alcohol. Beer after beer he became more and more fussy and irritated. He was like a walking time bomb that went off when you refused Eddie's proposed drink. 

"Now aren't we worthy of you having a drink with us?" he mischievously snorted with laughter. 

"Steve, I really don't have the strength to deal with you tonight." 

"And that's not the case? It seems that instead of having a drink with the people you claim to be your friends you prefer the company of your boyfriend and his pile of alcoholics. Did you start doing drugs with them, too?" he leaned back on his elbows. You knew he wouldn't let go, wouldn't let go until the two of you started arguing and he would pour out all his frustration that way. You could feel your blood boiling inside you and you were feeling breathless. "What? You won't say anything? You always have too much to say." He grinned feeling that he had the upper hand over you.

"Do I look like I want to debate with you?" You snapped. 

"I don't know, through that ton of makeup it's hard to read what your real expression is." 

"Steve!" Robin interrupted you. "Control yourself!"

"You're still defending her?!" He got what he wanted. He got his five minutes. "For the last two weeks she does nothing but ignore you, and then I'm the one who has to hear about how much you miss her! You consider her your friend and she just doesn't give a shit about you! All of you!" 

"It's not true!" you wanted to defend yourself. In truth you really wanted to, but you knew that from their point of view it really all looked like that. 

"Yes? Then what was more important than meeting your friend, what was more important than being there for her when she needed you when Vicky broke her heart?" He knew he was in control and it made him happy. Unhealthy pleasure derived from your embarrassment and confusion. 

"What? Robin, why-" you were shocked. You had no idea. 

"Are you going to ask now why she didn't tell you? Let me explain." He didn't waste a moment to crush you into the ground even more. He was giving you needle after the needle. "She wanted to tell you, but of course you didn't have time for her. I don't even know which hopeless excuse on your part it was then why you supposedly couldn't meet. But no problem, you can rehabilitate yourself and tell the truth now." He crossed his arms over his chest and stuck his satisfied gaze into you. You opened your mouth to say something but quickly closed it and pressed your lips into a thin line. He was right, you yourself no longer remembered which excuse you used then. You were already lost in them, but the truth would not pass your throat for anything in the world. Not when all eyes were on the two of you. Not when Steve humiliated you without considering how many people were around. "That's what I thought. What about Max and El? Did you forget about them too? Do you know that since you stopped helping El with her lessons she barely manages to pass? Do you think you are better than them? You don't deserve any of them. No one!" 

You couldn't stay standing there any longer. Feeling tears coming to your eyes without saying a word, you began to push through the crowd to the exit. You had no idea about Robin, you had no idea about El, you had no idea about anything. Locked in your own tragedy, you also cut yourself off from those who could always count on you and left them without the support they had become so accustomed to. He was right. You hated him for the way he treated you, but you hated yourself even more for the fact that everything he said was the cruel and painful truth. Moreover, by leaving you gave him another reason for which he could haunt you. You didn't stay to say goodbye to Eddie and the rest of the boys before they left. They would only be back in three months, and by then nothing would be the same.

You walked ahead wiping away tears. No matter how much you wanted you couldn't go back there. You weren't able to. Life was crashing down on your head, and his comments and reminders of what a hopeless person you were made you feel even worse. You wanted to disappear. To sink into the ground, to run away somewhere where your problems wouldn't reach you, but this couldn't happen. You were grounded here. Ironically, you would rather be grounded in the Upside Down now than be in your current situation. 

When you arrived at the house you tried to enter as quietly as you could. In your spirit you prayed that your boyfriend, Travis, would already be asleep and not wake up. Unfortunately, fate decided to test your strength once again. Inside you found him sitting in front of the TV and an almost empty bottle of vodka standing on the coffee table. 

"Where the hell have you been?!" he asked as soon as he heard your footsteps in the hallway. At that moment you already knew that a very long night was ahead of you. 

Drinking so much alcohol the day before the morning shift was not a wise idea. Feeling dehydrated and drained of life, he sat in an uncomfortable chair with a face hidden in his hands and a nasty headache. He had just taken a painkiller, so it will have to be a long while before it takes effect. In addition, he couldn't stop thinking about yesterday's events. You never gave up when it came to arguing. Everything always ended in a shouting match. You were never so...quiet? Confused? Lost? You never showed your feelings either. Certainly not in front of him. Nor have you ever walked away with tears in your eyes. Did he exaggerate this time? Guilt slowly crept into his head.

"Tough night?" he heard from behind him. It was Judy, one of the senior nurses who had not run away from Hawkins after everything. She was also one of the better ones who saw him as more than just the Harringtons' son. She treated him like a normal trainee, for which he was grateful.

"Mhmmm." he muttered, still not opening his eyes. "We were saying goodbye to Eddie before going on tour," he said.

"I can't believe he finally made it. Do you think I'll be able to brag about how I changed his bandages?" she laughed quietly while making herself some coffee.

"I'm sure he'll write a song about it." he replied with a joke and fell silent. The silence between them was broken by the doctor's entrance into the room.

"She's here again." she sighed heavily. "Another 'fall'."

"Are you sure we can't report this anywhere?" Judy pinched the tip of her nose and furrowed her brow. This person's condition must have really worried her.

"If we report domestic violence and she denies everything the police won't do anything anyway,"

"She is pregnant, Linda. This is a very serious case." 

"The only thing we can do at this point is to talk some sense into her and try to persuade her to agree to help."

"She's as stubborn as a mule, and I doubt she'll agree,"

"Sooner or later it will come to her that she will have a child and it is its safety that should be the most important thing for her. For this moment we have to go, Steve you will take care of sewing up the wound, and you Judy will help me with the gynecological examination."

"Come on boy..." the nurse sighed patting him on the back. 

He walked sluggishly along the corridor contemplating the women's conversation. How scared must this girl have been that she didn't run away from this deviant? Did she really have no one to help her? 

Entering the room, he was not ready for the sight that awaited him there. In the sterile white room, you sat in a chair staring at the floor, pressing a towel to your shoulder. A towel that was soaked with blood. When you raised your eyes and noticed him you froze. Steve also turned pale with surprise and horror at your condition. You were the girl they were talking about. The truth seemed too horrible to believe right away. There was a nasty bruise on your face, and when you moved the towel away from your arm an elongated wound appeared, from which blood would not stop pouring.

"What happened to you dear child?" Judy asked, looking at you with compassion in her eyes. Although you were no longer such a child, legally in every aspect you were already an adult. You quickly tore your gaze away from Steve and looked at the older nurse.

"I- I fell over. I fell on a glass bottle and a piece of it stuck in my shoulder...the blood won't stop flowing, when I fell I also hit my stomach, it hurts a lot, I was scared that..." you said quietly, ashamed looking at a single point on the floor. You knew that neither the doctor nor the nurse believed you. You also knew that, as if on a platter, you had given another reason from which Steve could create another level of your personal hell. He, however, was still looking on in disbelief at what was happening. The whole situation seemed to him as if it was made up. It was impossible that it was really you, that you were sitting completely defenseless as a victim of domestic violence. A pregnant victim of domestic violence. Holy shit, he was getting weak. It wasn't possible that after all you'd been through in the Upside Down, life was putting more hurdles in your way. You were fighting monsters from another dimension and you couldn't deal with your boyfriend? He didn't understand anything anymore.

"Steve take care of the wound. Make sure there's no more glass there, clean it up and apply stitches. We'll be back in a minute to do the rest of the examination." Dr. Linda ordered and together she and Judy went to get the equipment needed.

Not knowing how to behave, he simply began to prepare everything and sat very close to you. He took a deep breath. A very uncomfortable silence fell between you and the atmosphere was tense. After putting on his gloves, he gently grabbed your hand with both hands to take a closer look at the wound. Your inhalation stopped midway and your body stiffened all over. 

"Do you need some anesthetic? It might hurt." He said in a nervous voice and corrected his glasses. 

"I can handle it." you muttered.

"Are you sure? It really can-" 

"I'm sure, Harrington." You growled interrupting him and turned your head toward the window, and he silently began to dispose of the glass shards. 

Your hissing in pain did not escape his attention. To make matters worse, he also noticed the single tears that flew down your cheeks. As he was putting the stitches in place memories of last night began to fly through his head. Everything he said in your direction. Every word went straight to the heart of the problem. Glancing at your face every now and then, he could feel it getting fainter as he stopped at the purple area under your eye. Now he knew why you were wearing so much makeup. He knew what you wanted to hide and that scared him even more. He now understood why you refused to have a drink. Everything seemed so obvious now. Why didn't you tell anyone about this? He thought of the evening when Robin cried her eyes out because of Vicky. He was furious with you for not even being there for her at such a time. He was furious that you left her alone, but now he knew. He knew why, he knew the reason you canceled all your meetings. You didn't want anyone to know about what was going on. But now he knew now. This realization became a burden he didn't know how to lift.

"Y/n, listen...I- I want to apologize for yesterday. I was an asshole, I shouldn't have said all that." he said quietly. Shocked, you looked at him. He had said many awful things about you but never apologized for it. After a moment, though, surprise turned into a stony face. 

"I don't need your sympathy or pity." you replied dryly. "You don't need to lie about being sorry, I know that's not true."

"Y/n..." normally he would have already started to get irritated that you wouldn't accept an apology causing another argument, but now he didn't feel an ounce of anger at you. He himself didn't know exactly what he felt. 

"You weren't supposed to find out about all this. Believe me, if I didn't have to I wouldn't be sitting here right now, sitting here with you is much worse." He was already used to these kinds of words coming from your mouth, but never in his life had it been accompanied by tears, and he knew it must have meant you were on edge. "But there is one thing we agree on." You looked him straight in the eye. "I wish you hadn't saved me that night too." you were too tired. You had survived one hell only to immediately land in another. After a sleepless night and a morning full of screaming, you no longer had the strength to keep up the mask that everything was fine and you were handling it. Your life was one big mess and this was just the beginning. 

"No, y/n-" before he could say anything further the women came back into the room. He knew what they were talking about. He remembered perfectly the moment when he said those words, and to this day he regretted it. No matter how bad the relationship between the two of you looked, he knew it was too much.

"How's the arm?" the Doctor asked when they returned to the room.

He coughed before speaking. "I took out the remaining shards of glass and cleaned it carefully. Just two more stitches and everything will be ready." 

"Well done." She praised him by sending him a warm smile, and then turned to you. "You mentioned very severe abdominal pains, I'd like you to lie down now. We'll run some tests to make sure the baby is okay." 

To make sure the baby is okay. Baby. You were pregnant. You were pregnant and a victim of domestic violence. I wish you hadn't saved me that night too. Your words gained more and more frightening meaning making his heart sinking. 

While the examinations were being carried out he took care of cleaning up the position after sewing up your hand. This did not take long. Dr. Linda reassured you by saying that everything was fine, but pointed out that you should try to avoid stressful situations. What did that even mean? Your life now was one big stressful situation, how the hell were you supposed to avoid it? 

"Now listen to me carefully." she looked at you. "If you ever decide to talk to someone about your "falls", remember that you are safe here and we can help you. You just have to let us do it. We'll take care of you and the baby, okay?" 

You just nodded your head. You couldn't do that. You couldn't get away from him no matter how much you wanted to. "Let me walk you out." You quickly got up and followed the doctor.

Before leaving you looked at Steve one last time. He wanted to say something, anything that would erase all of yesterday's words, but it was impossible. With a broken expression on his face, he could only watch the door close behind you and think about the fact that you were on your way home, where your abuser was waiting for you. He involuntarily clenched his fists at the very thought that Travis might once again lay a hand on you. He was filled with emotions he couldn't recognize. 

"You know this girl, don't you?" Judy asked with a sigh. Steve just nodded affirmatively. "You're a good guy, Steve. It's good that she has a friend like you." Her words were like a strong punch.

Oh Judy, if only you knew...

taglist (guys thank you so much for wanting to be in the taglist before the story even started! I really hope you won't be too dissapointed!): @i-me-mine @phantypurple @sheisjoeschateau @hollandweather

[indigovigilance]

Sodom and Gomorrah: A Speculative Meta

on Ao3: Sodom and Gomorrah: A Speculative Meta

Sodom and Gomorrah is the story of a land so steeped in sin that many prayed to God for intercession, and God sent two angels to see for themselves if the rumors were true, and determine based on their testimony whether the cities should be destroyed.

In Season 1, we learn that Sandolphon was there, doing a lot of smiting and turning people into salt. The way that Aziraphale talks about it, we are led to believe that he was there too, bearing unhappy witness to the destruction, his plastered-on smile faltering as his vision fades into the middle distance:

In this meta I am taking an alternate stance to the wonderfully presented interpretation by @queerfables in my speculation of what happened in Sodom and its relevance to the GO story arc overall, if canonized. I hope that readers will consider the merits of both arguments in their own formulations of Aziraphale and Heaven in the GO universe.

TW: discussions of homophobia, sexual assault, death & destruction

Verses are taken from this translation of Genesis, chapters 18 and 19.

Genesis 18

20 Then the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous

21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.”

(Notably, the allegations made against Sodom and Gomorrah are never discussed. It is simply left at “sin so grievous.” Though it seems like there may be more information in Genesis 12)

But God herself did not go down to Sodom, instead sending two angels. I, like queerfables, read this and quickly came to the conclusion that for GO narrative purposes, the two angels that God sent to Sodom were Aziraphale and Sandolphon, where the former is playing tour guide to the latter, who has the real authority in the situation.

Upon arrival, the angels are met by Lot; he invites them to stay with him. At first they refuse, saying they will stay in the square, but he insists.

Genesis 19

4 Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. 

5 They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we may know [have sex with] them.”

There is a lot of baggage to unpack from these two lines, especially in the 2023 context of politics in the Western hemisphere. Same-sex marriage is nearly ubiquitous, a near turnaround from only twenty years ago, but so is homophobic rhetoric, and the story of Sodom and Gomorrah is cited a lot for those purposes. Intersectional communities of faith have done a lot of work to try to reinterpret these two verses, insisting that what God finds so abhorrent about the actions of the men of Sodom is not that they are homosexual but rather that they are attempting to gang-rape two newly arrived strangers in their city.

For the real world, this is a very important discussion and a solid position to maintain, if one wishes to defend the concept of a benevolent God who made homosexual, bisexual, transgender, and every other flavor of human as lovingly and intentionally as was made every cisgender heterosexual person.

But we’re not talking about real-world God. We’re talking about the God in Good Omens. And She is not a very nice person. 

We have only to look at the contract that would allow the murder and then replacement of Job’s children, or the abject poverty under which Elspeth suffers that forces her to commit [apparent] atrocities, and ultimately drive her to attempt suicide. Whatever your feelings may be about the God of our shared meatspace, the God of Good Omens is not a character we are meant to admire, sympathize with, or make excuses for.

Returning to Sodom in the Good Omens universe.

I propose that it is thematically in keeping that the men of Sodom were not attempting to commit gangrape, but rather, they saw Sandolphon and fell in love on the spot. Because yes, Aziraphale is a fine scholarly-looking fellow, but it’s approximately 2000 B.C., the Bronze Age. Sodom and Gomorrah are most likely agrarian societies, and Sandolphon looks like he could throw a bale of hay like a javelin. He’s a whole lot of man, and the men of Sodom are into it. I mean, c'mon, Paul Chahidi in some biblical garb, is, uhh...

...not an eyesore, iykwim. [image source: imdb.com]

So they go to Lot’s house and ask if they can see this man, in hopes that they can ask him on a date. They are smitten by Sandolphon. Sure, the ultimate goal may be to have sex with them, but not right there on Lot’s doorstep, and the gross misquoting can be attributed to Sandolphon’s own libelous report of events, not to the Sodomites themselves. History is written by the victors, after all.

While we’re at it, let’s consider Lot’s response:

Genesis 19

6 Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him 

7 and said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. 

8 Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.”

In the true spirit of Good Omens comedy, I can envision Lot walking out among these men, complaining that not one of them has asked permission to court or marry either of his daughters of maritable age, and perhaps rather than simping for his houseguest, perhaps they would consider dating one of them instead. Is it homophobic? Sure, but I’m not here to defend Lot; he doesn’t need it. Because standing next to Sandolphon, he’s an absolute poppet.

(The remaining stanzas regarding the Sodomites breaking into Lot’s house, I am going to selectively set aside and chalk that up to Sandolphon blowing some Sodomite choice statements about Lot being a homophobic asshole way out of proportion.)

Sandolphon, a True Believer, is not about to stand for this insult to his heavenly purity. Angels do not have relations with humans, and to insinuate that he would even consider it is blasphemy. He takes it as a personal insult that the Sodomites would propose such a thing. He finds this to be evidence enough that the Sodomites are truly corrupt and worthy of destruction.

I feel the need to emphasize here that while this contains some distinctly queer themes, Sandolphon is not angry because they are men; he is angry because they are human, a different species from himself (in the same way that angels are different species from demons), and furthermore that anything resembling love the way humans do it is disgusting and vile to him.

Aziraphale, meanwhile, is standing helplessly on the sidelines, desperately trying and failing to de-escalate the situation. But it’s no use, Sandolphon has already made up his mind. There’s nothing left for Aziraphale to do but to try to save as many people as he can, beginning with Lot and his family.

Genesis 19

12 The two [angels] said to Lot, “Do you have anyone else here—sons-in-law, sons or daughters, or anyone else in the city who belongs to you? Get them out of here, 

13 because we are going to destroy this place. The outcry to the Lord against its people is so great that he has sent us to destroy it.”

Again, in the fashion that GO takes liberty with biblical narrative, I propose that it is Aziraphale alone who warns Lot that Sandolphon will destroy Sodom come sunrise, and sends him out into the night to gather his family and get them out as quickly as possible. I propose, additionally, that Aziraphale is the one who leads Lot and his daughters by the hand out of Sodom and then protects the village of Zoar from destruction so that they can take shelter there.

Genesis 19:

15 With the coming of dawn, the angels urged Lot, saying, “Hurry! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away when the city is punished.”

16 When he hesitated, the [angels] grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and of his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the Lord was merciful to them.

17 As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, “Flee for your lives! Don’t look back, and don’t stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!”

18 But Lot said to them, “No, my lords,[or singular, lord] please! 

19 Your[singular] servant has found favor in your[singular] eyes, and you[singular] have shown great kindness to me in sparing my life. But I can’t flee to the mountains; this disaster will overtake me, and I’ll die. 

20 Look, here is a town near enough to run to, and it is small. Let me flee to it—it is very small, isn’t it? Then my life will be spared.”

21 He said to him, “Very well, I will grant this request too; I will not overthrow the town you speak of. 

22 But flee there quickly, because I cannot do anything until you reach it.” (That is why the town was called Zoar.[“small”])

While yes, this is a fictional interpretation of a biblical scripture, let’s take something from the fact that Lot is supposed to be addressing two angels, but the pronouns he uses to do so are all singular in the original Hebrew: that is to say, it seems like he is only talking to one angel. So in the victor-edited retrospective, the story is written to seem like two angels were rescuing him, but from the faithfully quoted words of his own mouth, it was only one. It seems like Sandolphon tried to write himself in as one of the good guys but couldn't bring himself to actually change the words that were coming from Lot's mouth. (Again, this is unnecessary work to do for the biblical narrative to be molded to a GO narrative, but it is an interesting feature of the original text nonetheless.)

At sunrise, the destruction begins: 

Genesis 19

23 By the time Lot reached Zoar, the sun had risen over the land.

24 Then the Lord rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the Lord out of the heavens.

25 Thus [S]he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, destroying all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land. 

26 But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.

So goes the story of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah: The cities are slandered before God, who sends Aziraphale and Sandolphon to investigate; Sandolphon is so incensed by human men flirting with him that he determines that the city shall be destroyed in the morning, and Aziraphale races against the clock to save as many as he can, knowing that he cannot save everyone. He bears witness as the men who resemble himself so much, who committed no greater crime than to seek out a forbidden love, perish in a rain of fire and brimstone. He must feign heavenly delight that a sinful blight was erased from the world, while mourning thousands of lost souls. He wonders if they have been sent to Hell. Even Lot’s wife, whose only crime was to question, to wonder what is behind her and perhaps regret leaving it behind, is turned to salt. He sees the vicious glee of Sandolphon exacting his revenge for the crime of impugning his celestial celibacy. He wonders what Sandolphon would do to him if he ever found out about the stirrings in his heart for a demon who, 500 years prior, had sat beside him on a rock, looking out over sea, comforting him as he nursed his wounded faith. He wonders just how far along with Heaven he can go, and what the consequences will be when he dares to say, “I will go no further.”

~~~

[image source: Wessex Archaeology]

For those who (like me) are interested, the story of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah seems to have been merged from two historical events, which was common in a period preserved primarily by oral history. The tale seems to resemble a volcanic event that occurred nearby and around that time, but Sodom and Gomorrah were most likely destroyed by an earthquake and a subsequent flood, since they were located in the Jordan Plain, the lowest dry land in the world, a full quarter of a mile below sea level at its lowest, and very near the Dead Sea. Additionally, the area is rich in bitumen, sulfur-rich near-surface petroleum deposits that, when disturbed by a major earthquake, may have sent hot tar flying into the air, which if it landed on anything flammable would give the impression that fire and brimstone were raining down.

✨ the more you know ✨

~~~

Blending together the biblical canon and archaeological speculation, I'm going to make a wild, unsubstantiated proposal that Crowley turns the people of Sodom into fish so that they survive the flood. Because one biblical flood was enough, and he'd heard around the water cooler that She had promised not to do that again (lying liar). This creates a tentative connection with the raining fish we see in the title credits of both seasons, and I'm also going to reference it in an upcoming meta.

[vladajwrites]

Razor’s Edge

Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six

Summary; Reader moves to Woodsboro for her senior year of high school. This story take place in the setting of the Scream 4 movie. This story is dedicated to all of the girls living through the current Rory Culkin revival. I love and see you. <3

Also available to be read on AO3 here

It's imperative for me to mention MAJOR trigger warnings for this story; blood, violence, sexual content, alcohol usage, and mentions of abusive situations and suicide. I will add and edit tw's as needed.

WC; 5830

Notes; this chapter has actually had my head spinning lol

again, truly thank you for reading! much much love <3

(Not Beta Read)

You spent the remainder of the school day restlessly waiting to see Charlie again. The more you thought of it, the idea of him orchestrating that night with you, the more you warmed up to the idea.

It was an interesting and covertly complex tactic, definitely, but you were thankful he actually made a move. He clearly was not the type to just outwardly express his feelings and emotional intentions. The lying to you and Robbie, finishing up the project on his own; it should make you understandably unnerved, but it doesn’t. So, if this was what he needed to do to convey his feelings to you, you could learn to find it endearing.

You stopped Charlie in the hall on the way to film club after the last bell rang. His cheeks were tinted red as he met your eyes. 

“Charlie,” you began. 

“Look, I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I shouldn’t have lied to you.” He tripped over his words. 

His expression showed his confusion as a small smile slipped up your lips. You loved how nervous he still was around you.

You placed your arms over his shoulders. “I forgive you, but don’t you dare lie to me again, Charlie Walker.” You whispered right beside his ear. 

He cleared his throat, stumbling back a bit as you pulled away. “Yes, ma’am.” 

You laughed, sliding one of your arms through the gap between his elbow and stomach. 

“Ma’am? I am not my mother.” You teased him, pulling him down the hallway. 

He tensed a bit as your free hand came up to hold around his upper arm.

You both walked in silence for a moment. You could see from the corner of your eye that Charlie was anxiously looking up to meet the perplexed gaze of the students you passed by. You guess this was really the first time that you had shown any affection towards Charlie publically. 

You only held him tighter. You hardly noticed anyone else around the two of you. 

“Did you hear about Kirby’s party next weekend?” You broke the silence. 

He looked down to meet your eyes. His face held something that almost resembled discomfort. 

He nodded before responding. “Yeah, I did.” 

You stopped for a moment as you rounded the corner that led to film club. “Well, Kirby invited me, but I only want to go if you can come with me.”

His arms dropped to his side. You followed suit. What was this expression he now had? You couldn’t read it. He couldn’t meet your eyes before responding. 

“I made plans to visit my mom at Isle Institution. I haven’t seen her in a while-“ 

Your face dropped as you took in his words. Isle Institution? That was the psychiatric care facility in the next town over. When he had said that his mother was in and out of psychiatric help, you never imagined her living in a facility like that. You immediately felt horrible for bringing up the party. Visiting his mother was clearly more important. 

“Oh, no, I completely understand. Go and see your mother. It’d be nice to have a night in on my own, anyway.” You gave him your most reassuring smile. 

He looked down to meet your eyes again. You could tell he was rolling some idea around in his head. 

“No go, I shouldn’t be gone too long. I’ll meet you there. I’d love to go with you.” He tried to give his best smile in return. You weren’t sure you were buying it. You really didn’t want to go to this party alone, didn’t mind spending the night at home, but if he was able to meet you there not too long after? You’d like that very much. 

“Okay,” you nodded. “But don’t worry if you can’t make it. Just try to let me know, please.” 

“Deal.” He replied. 

Film club passed by quickly, as did the rest of the weekend. 

You spent most of your free time texting back and forth with Charlie. He was so much more sure of himself over the phone. Maybe it just was the face-to-face stuff that made him so nervous. 

The school days during the following week were spent looking for Charlie when you could. You made an effort to pass small touches in the halls, could tell he did the same. You couldn’t help but feel your stomach twist up when you caught him watching you in class.

It’d be a lie to say you hadn’t become even more enamored with him with each passing day. He was so incredibly interesting. You wanted to know more, know everything. You caught yourself laughing along with every dumb joke he’d try to make. 

You’d invite him over after class nearly every day. His confidence around you grew as you spent more and more time around one another. 

You couldn’t lie, being in such close proximity to him was making you feel frustrated in a way you hadn’t felt before. You just wanted to be closer to him. You’d watch his lips, his hands; and pray that he’d just reach over and hold you underneath him-

But as the next few days passed by, you could tell something was growing increasingly troublesome in his mind. He just seemed so far off, distant. You wished you could have just found the right words to say to him, take away whatever was worrying him. You wanted him to come back to you so desperately. 

On Friday, you finally worked up the courage to ask him what was wrong. You laid in your bed next to him, pretending to work on something for your English class. 

“What’s bothering you, Charlie?” You asked. He sat beside you, staring out your bedroom window. 

“Hmm?” He replied as if he hadn’t caught your question. 

You grabbed his hand, urging him to look at you as you adjusted yourself into a sitting position. 

“What’s going on with you?” You asked gently. 

His eyes darted quickly over your face. “Nothing-“ 

Your brows furrowed as you shot a look at him that said, ‘I know you’re lying to me.’

He sighed before continuing, “I- I don’t know. It’s just my mom, I think. I haven’t seen her in a while, to be honest. I’m always nervous to be around her. I don’t want to upset her.” 

You ran your thumb over the back of his hand and nodded. “I’m sorry Charlie, I’m sure she’d love to see you.” You smiled softly. 

He sucked in a breath, nodding. 

You both sat there for a moment, hand in hand, heads against the headboard. Music played faintly in the background, filling the lapse in conversation. 

Charlie was the one who broke the silence after some time had passed. His question was so quiet, you nearly weren’t able to catch it. “Could you hurt someone?”

You turned sharply to look at him. His face stayed forward, but you were able to catch his gaze from his peripherals. 

“What do you mean?” You tried to conceal your confused tone. 

He turned to face you now. “If you had to, could you do it if you absolutely had to?” 

His question was nearly disorienting. Why would he ask you this? Your confusion cleared as you thought back to his mother and his father. Was this what he meant?

Could you? Really, could you bring yourself to do it?

You swallowed hard. “If it were between my life or someone else’s, I think I could.” He settled into the bed a bit at your answer. 

“If this is about your father, Charlie, you did what you had to do. I’d never hold that against you. And I’m sure your mother wouldn’t either.” 

He didn’t reply, only let his gaze fixate on the ceiling fan above. You didn’t push it any further. You hoped he’d be back in his usual spirits after his visit with his mother. 

You woke the next morning in a tangle of sheets. The record you had been playing the night before was skipping over and over again on the player. The conversation you had with Charlie the day before played over in your mind. You frowned. It must feel so lonely to go through life after what he had lived through. You prayed this day would go well for him. 

You sat up, groaning, pushing the hair out of your eyes. You reached for your phone, scrolling through your limited notifications. 

Kirby’s text was at the top. “I’ll see you later. ;)��� 

“Can’t wait!” you replied. You honestly hadn’t been keeping up with Kirby as much as you believed you should have. You made a mental note to thank her for the invitation when you saw her tonight. 

Charlie had also messaged you, “I should still be able to make it back in time for the party. I’ll let you know if anything changes.” 

There was a second message from him sent slightly after the first one. “Send me a picture of what you decide to wear.” 

You smiled to yourself. He didn’t care about what you had decided to wear, not so smooth. “You’ll see what I’m wearing when I see you at the party.” 

You honestly hadn’t given much thought to what you would wear. Kirby had messaged you asking for advice on her outfit a few days before. You wanted to dress up like her, look nicer than usual.

You stood, lifting the needle on your record player and turning it off. You pulled your closet doors open and riffled through the mess of hangers inside. After throwing skirts and dresses and other articles of clothing into a pile on your bed, you realized that nothing you owned fit the image you had in mind. 

You groaned, collapsing amongst the pile. It was useless, you resigned yourself. 

Just then, Irina passed by your door, which was propped open about a quarter of the way. An idea came to you then. She’d surely have something. You knew she kept most of her clothing from her life-of-the-party days. She had amassed a comprehensive collection of clothing over the years. Her closet was nearly daunting to explore on your own. 

You quickly stood, throwing open your door. Irina jumped at the end of the hall. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You tried to laugh it all off. She grabbed at her chest, laughing with you. 

“Is there something I can do for you? Or were you trying to give me a heart attack?” She asked, steadying her cup of coffee. 

You made your way down the hall toward her, apologizing again. “Yes, actually, I’m desperate.” 

She cocked an eyebrow, following you into her bedroom. She turned to face you again, unsure where the conversation was about to go. 

“Okay, there’s this big party tonight,” the smile on Irina’s face grew to meet her eyes as you continued. “And I have nothing to wear. It’s just not coming together.” You sighed, dropping onto her bed. 

She set her coffee on the nightstand beside you before opening the doors that led into her closet. 

She started flipping through hangers towards the back of her wardrobe. She reached for a hanger before turning over her shoulder. “Oh, I definitely have an idea or two.” 

You smiled as she walked out, holding a black silken dress in her hands. She placed it in your hands as you looked it over. It was definitely beautiful, imaginatively form-fitting, low-cut, and incredibly short. Not the type of thing you were used to wearing, but you trusted Irina’s vision. She returned from her closet again with a pair of deep red heeled-boots. 

She dropped the boots in your hands as well. “Well, go try it all on.” 

You nodded, standing up. 

Once in the bathroom, you stepped out of your clothes, gently pulling the dress over your head. You slid on the boots before giving yourself a once over in her full-length mirror. 

Your breath caught in your chest at the sight. This was it, exactly the sort of thing you had wanted to wear. How could she always tell? 

You hadn’t realized how long you stood there before Irina knocked on the other side of the door. You steadied yourself, smoothing over the dress before opening the door. 

Irina’s eyes lit up immediately, her hands came up to her chest. “So beautiful, sweetheart.” 

“Thank you,” you replied breathlessly. 

She fixed the straps and tugged at the waistline a bit. “It’s just a little big, but should work for tonight. I’ll have it tailored for you sometime soon.” 

“Thank you so much. Really, thank you.” You replied, wrapping your arms around her. 

The rest of the day was spent anxiously pacing around your house. You fussed with your hair and makeup until giving up and calling in Irina to help you with that as well. 

Once you were all ready, and it was time to go, you collected your few things in the clutch your aunt had also let you borrow. She insisted that your usual purse would have completely ruined the entire outfit. You didn’t fight her on it. 

Irina stopped you at the door. “Have your phone?”

“Yes, fully charged.” You replied. 

She nodded. “Well, keep your ringer on. Call me if you need anything.” 

“Okay.” You reached over to give her one last hug before leaving. 

“Have fun tonight. Be safe and responsible! If the police pick you up, I’ll post your bail!” She called after you as you made your way to your car. You laughed, waving at her over your shoulder. 

You followed the directions to Kirby’s house carefully, trying not to pay any attention to your nerves. You parked in the first spot you found amidst the ever-extending line of parked cars in front of her house. 

You locked your car, shoving the keys back into your clutch. 

The music was loud enough to be heard from the street. You noticed a few people standing on her front porch smoking. 

You anxiously smoothed over your dress. The cool air made your skin prick up. You should’ve brought a jacket. Maybe you could go back and grab one-

No, you quickly put the idea to rest, knowing if you left now, you wouldn’t return. 

You wished Charlie was there to walk in with you as you entered the party. You quickly grabbed a plastic cup from the table that had been set up in the entryway. You filled it up with whatever alcoholic concoction was sitting in a tub in front of you. You finished it in a few gulps, swallowing down hard. The first drink was always the worst. 

You filled it up again before making your way further into the party. The music was making the floor pound. It was hard to keep steady as you pushed through the crowd toward the living room. Most of your peers already appeared to be completely inebriated around you. 

You tried for a few moments to find Kirby but gave up after a while figuring she must be busy or off doing her own thing. 

There were black and white masks thrown about the party. It took a moment, but you eventually recognized them from the Stab movies. You had never personally watched them, but had always seen the advertisements for the films.

Of course, you thought. You honestly hadn’t even really thought about the terrible reality that those movies were based on since moving to Woodsboro. The only time you had really heard about the murders was briefly in your childhood, and occasionally on the news during the anniversary of the killings. Hadn’t they happened in October? 

You found the mask’s presence here odd, even a bit morbid, but you hadn’t actually grown up here. You figured that the lifelong residents who had lived through this all had a right to remember it however they wanted to. 

As you pushed the thought of the murders toward the back of your mind and made your way deeper into the growing crowd, your head began to grow fuzzy and swim under the neon lights that flashed around you. It was a welcome feeling, slowly working to drown out your nerves from before. 

After finishing your third cup, you decided to have a fourth. After this, you’d slow down, you promised yourself. 

You eventually ran into Kirby. She looked stunning, as usual. She was clearly already drunk but held herself together eloquently. 

“Oh my God, it’s so good to see you. I wasn’t actually sure if you would come!” Kirby said while pulling you tightly into a hug.

She stumbled a bit as she let go. You held both her and yourself steady. The effects of the alcohol were slowly reaching a peak inside you. 

“Yeah, it’s good to see you, too. Thank you for the invitation!” You had to shout your reply. Your voice was still nearly muffled by the voices and music around you. 

“Of course! Hope I run into you again.” Kirby smiled and went to turn on her heel. She stopped herself briefly, grabbing your arm before you also walked away. “Have you seen Jill anywhere? She was supposed to be here hours ago.” 

You barely caught the last of her words. “No, I’m sorry. I haven’t seen her.” 

Kirby looked a bit defeated but nodded. “She’ll turn up. Thank you anyways!”

After leaving Kirby, a girl you recognized from your homeroom class passed you a shot glass and another cup of too-sour mixer and what surely must’ve been cheap tequila. You took the gifted shot with a small group of people in the kitchen before slipping back through the main area of the party. The music was becoming too loud; the lights were blinding. You felt so hot, could barely breathe. 

With the cheap DIY margarita still in your hand, you made your way into the backyard. You just needed a moment, needed to see if Charlie had reached out to you yet. The back patio was dimly lit, the cool air was now a welcomed companion. 

A small crowd was formed around some more tables on the lawn below. Beerpong was well underway, and apparently very intense at the moment based on the way people were yelling and cheering each other on. 

You took another sip of your drink before setting the cup on the patio railing, reaching into your purse for your phone. 

You swayed a bit, frowning to yourself after seeing you had no messages from Charlie, no missed calls, either. Your fingers hovered over the screen for a moment as you tried to make out the now swirling letters on your keyboard. 

“Are you almost here?” You took your time rereading the text to make sure you had gotten out the right words. Satisfied, you pressed send. 

You watched your phone for a moment, staring at the screen, hoping for a quick text back. You just wanted to be near him so badly. You came to the conclusion that he must be on his way if he wasn’t responding. Seemingly resigning, you dropped your phone in your bag again. 

As you reached beside you for your cup, it was picked up before you had the chance to grab it. 

Your heart sank as you turned to face the man who was now holding your drink hostage. Scotty towered above you. You watched in disgust as he quickly finished the rest of your drink. 

Even in your now almost drunken state, you wanted to be away from him as quickly as possible. As you turned to walk away, his hand rapidly planted itself on the wall beside your head. You watched with disdain as he threw the now empty cup over his back and placed his other hand on your shoulder. 

His grip was bruising as you tried to shrug him off of you. 

“Hey, where are you trying to run off to? We can be friends, right?” He smelt like liquor, his eyes could hardly focus on you. 

You shivered as he stumbled forward, planting a knee between your thighs, effectively pinning you to the wall. 

You shook your head, looking around for anyone else close by that could step in and help you. It was just the two of you alone on the porch. From what you could tell, no one was paying any attention at all from the lawn below. 

You brought your hands up on his chest, pushing him with all your strength. Your head felt so dizzy, he barely moved an inch. Your body was effectively working against you. You instantly regretted coming to this party, drinking, all of it. You could hardly even find the strength to use your voice.  

“Come on, sweetheart. I know you want me, too; showing up here looking like this tonight. I’m glad you ditched that loser you’ve been seeing.” He brought his head down closer to yours.

The blood under the surface of your skin boiled. Without giving it any thought, you leaned in closer, spitting in his face. 

“Get the fuck off of me.” Your words were more slurred than you had imagined they would be. 

A satisfied smile graced your lips as you watched him stumble back, wiping at his face. 

The proud expression you held quickly transformed into terror as you watched Anderson’s line-of-sight turn dark, filled with rage. 

You barely had time to process what was going on before he stepped back closer to you. You could feel his sickly hot breath on your skin. He closed the distance so quickly. This time, his aggression was not hidden behind the sly mask he wore only moments ago. 

He wouldn’t really hurt you, would he? 

Your question was devastatingly answered as he stepped back half a step, raising his arm to swing. An absolutely evil look showed in his eyes. You wouldn’t have been able to slip past him in time to escape. 

You dropped nearly to your knees, shielding your face with your forearms. 

The entire world seemed to slow and stop around you. It was only you, your back against the wall, your heart pounding in your throat. 

You tensed your entire body, bracing for the impact you were sure was to come. 

Suddenly you were just a child, on your bedroom floor, your father smacking you around as he verbally tore into you. 

You couldn’t help the tears that welled in your eyes. 

Abruptly, you felt a heavy thud in front of you, pulling you from your thoughts. You jumped, the deafening buzz in your ears subsided as you recognized a familiar voice. 

You peeked over your arms. Scotty never got the chance to make contact with you. 

“I’ll kill you. I’ll fucking kill you.” The sound of a fist connecting with the hard bone of a lower jaw rang out around you. 

It was Charlie. 

He was standing over Anderson’s barely conscious body. His left fist was hooked into the collar of his shirt, while his right swung back to let into him again and again. 

Your eyes widened in shock. The sound of Scotty choking back on his own blood urged you to your feet. 

By now, people from the lawn and the thrown-open back door were filing onto the patio. The shocked whispers of those around you fell on deaf ears. 

You reached forward, wrapping your arms around Charlie’s arm that held Anderson in place. 

You pulled with all your strength, working on pure adrenaline. “Stop, Charlie, please. You’ve got him. It’s okay, I’m okay.” 

He slacked at the sound of your words, straightening up to grab you in his arms. You could feel his heart pounding in his chest, or maybe it was just your own that you were feeling. 

“I’m so sorry. I should’ve been here sooner. I’m so sorry.” He said over and over again. His hands worked themselves comfortingly up and down your back. 

You nodded, painfully pulling yourself away from him for a moment. There were now a few people surrounding Scotty, trying to pull him up from the ground. You could feel the questioning and shocked eyes on you and Charlie from the small crowd that had formed. 

“Please, please, can we just leave?” You gasped out. 

Charlie nodded, looking you over. His arms draped over your shoulder, pulling you into him. He skillfully and carefully moved you through the crowds and out of the house. 

You shivered and stumbled out into the street. Charlie was quick to steady you. He shrugged out of his coat and threw it gently over your shoulders. The tears were steadily streaming down your face and onto your chest. 

Once at your car, you messed around in your purse, digging for your keys. 

“Here baby, please, let me drive you home.” Charlie reached for your purse and walked around with you to the passenger side. He opened the door for you, waiting until you were in comfortably before closing the car door slowly. He was quick to find your keys and turn over the engine.

The car was silent. You were both unsure of what to say. 

“I’m so sorry,” Charlie spoke just above a whisper. You looked over at him. His knuckles, from what you could tell, were white as he gripped the steering wheel. A thick layer of blood had dried across his right hand. 

You shivered again at the thought of what had happened just moments before. You honestly would’ve never believed Charlie had that kind of physical strength in him. To drop a man, who was objectively much bigger than nearly everyone was, to the ground- it was just so- 

You looked up to meet his eyes. “Please don’t be sorry. If you hadn’t come when you had, hadn’t done what you had done to protect me- I’m sorry that you even had to get involved.” 

He sighed, reaching to rest one of his warm hands on your bare upper thigh. “Don’t apologize to me. It should’ve never been able to get to that point.” 

You put your hand over his as gently as possible, carefully avoiding his knuckles that were already beginning to swell. 

How could this have all happened? How could you put yourself in this position? You tried to will away the dark thoughts that were telling you that this was in any way your fault. You truly couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt, though. What if Charlie got into any trouble because of this? What if Anderson pressed charges or tried to get back at Charlie or you in some horrible way? Were you both in any danger now? No one stood up to men like Anderson and his group.  

And if Charlie hadn’t gotten there when he had-? How was it possible for him to always be there in the moments you needed him? And how was he able to do what he did? It was all just so unbelievable. You had seen a side of Charlie tonight you would’ve never imagined you’d see. The venom in his voice, the strength, the quick brutality of actions- 

This entire situation sobered you up rapidly. You dropped your head in your hands, willing away the tears. You hadn’t even realized you were beginning to hyperventilate until you felt Charlie’s hand tighten around you, urging you out of your own thoughts.

You could feel him steal small glances of you as you stared out the passenger window. 

“I’m sorry, I’m okay.” You said, your voice raspy and broken. You sat up straight, wiping away the last of your tears. You had to be stronger than this, it was going to be okay, it had to be. 

“Don’t say sorry anymore, please.” Charlie looked over to meet your eyes.

The hand he held on your thigh came up to rest in the mess of your hair. He moved his fingers, carefully working to comfort you. 

Your eyes fluttered back as you relaxed into him. 

As long as you were with him, it would be okay. You would work it out together. 

Charlie’s hand dropped back into your lap as your breaths evened out a bit more. His fingers traced steady circles on your upper thighs, just above the silk of your dress. 

You carefully shrugged out of his coat; it was just getting so warm. You went to reach for the dial that adjusted your AC, only to find it had been shut off this entire time. 

You felt your face flush as you dropped your hand back in your lap. 

“You know, I’m glad I waited to see that dress on you in person.” Charlie gave you a smile, trying his best to reassure you, relieve any of the tension that still drilled into your nerves. “You really do look beautiful. I mean- you always do, I-“ 

You let out a sigh that nearly resembled a real laugh, sinking further into your seat. Your head fell to rest on his arm. 

“Thank you, Charlie.” Your heart swelled as you looked up at him. The features of his face lit up so perfectly under the dim street lighting. You wished you could capture this image and keep it forever. You hadn’t even noticed that you were now parked in front of your house. 

He was just so beautiful, kept you safe. You knew, in his own way, he absolutely adored you. He was absolutely everything to you. You would do anything, if it brought him any sort of peace. 

Your smile widened as he looked down at you. 

He gently moved the hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. 

“What’s going on, babe?” His brow furrowed a bit as he tried to find the cause of the tears that had begun to well in your eyes again. 

You never wanted to be away from him. You just hoped he understood how deeply you cared for him, how much you needed him. How much you lo- “I love you.” The words spilled mindlessly out of you. 

He immediately tensed beside you. Had you actually said that out loud? 

He was quick, carefully wrapping his hands on either side of your face, pulling you close to look at him. He studied your face for any hint of sincerity. 

Had you been sincere? Yes, you resigned yourself. You really did love him. Whatever love meant to you, it filled your heart just for him. 

“Do you mean that?” His voice was so low. 

You nodded. “Yes Charlie, I just love you. I mean it.” 

His lips were on yours before he could give himself another moment to process it all. 

You melted into him, matching his fervent need. 

“I love you, too.” He spoke against your lips. The tears finally began to fall again. After all the terrible things that had happened to you in life, if you had to experience them all over again, just to stay in this moment with him like this for a moment longer, you’d choose to go through it in a heartbeat.

He worked quickly, picking you up over the center console and helping you over his lap. 

You needed more of him, impossibly more. 

His grip around you was nearly suffocating. You just wanted more. All the terrible things that had happened that night seemingly melted away while in his arms. 

He pulled away for a moment. His gaze was full of wonderment and adoration as he looked up at you. He made you feel so beautiful. 

“I’ll pray every night, just to thank whoever brought you into my life.” He spoke just above a whisper. He traced kisses softly against your chest and neck, marking a careful path back to your lips. 

You sighed, arching further into him. Your hands worked through his beautiful hair. 

You weren’t sure how long you both stayed like this. You could’ve stayed in this moment, just in his arms forever, as far as you were concerned. However, the sudden light from your porch sent you both back into your original seats. 

You looked over, eyes falling on Irina, who now stood in the open doorway wearing her robe. Her arms were crossed lazily in front of her chest. 

You groaned quietly, dropping your head into your hands.

You peaked over at Charlie, who was clearing his throat and clumsily adjusting the waistband of his pants. 

You gave him a smile before letting out a real, heartfelt laugh. You wished you could’ve just invited him, climbed into bed, into his arms-

He stepped out of the car quickly, flashing a smile toward you. You hoped he didn’t feel any shame about seemingly being ‘caught’ by your aunt. You knew she wouldn’t care, was just being nosy as usual. You made a glaring mental note to give her the rundown on the escalation of your relationship with Charlie. How could you have not said anything about it to her sooner? 

Charlie made his way over to your side of the car and popped open the door. He held out a hand, helping you out of your seat.

Once your feet hit the pavement, you threw your arms around him again. “I’ll see you again soon. Are you sure you’re okay to walk home?” 

“Yeah, don’t worry about me.” He smiled down at you. 

You kissed him quickly. “You know I always will.” 

“I know. I love you for it.” He replied softly. 

He stepped away, turning to face your aunt. “I’m sorry, just wanted to make sure she made it home safely.” 

Your aunt nodded, “Uh huh.” She couldn’t hide her wide, knowing smile. “Good to see you again, Walker. Have a goodnight.” 

You tried your best to keep your cool as you made your way up the porch steps. Turning back once to wave goodbye to Charlie. 

Irina eyed you over as you both entered the entryway. You knew she must be dying to hear all the details from the night. 

You honestly wouldn’t have the first clue where to start. You curbed her line of questioning before she had the chance to begin. 

“I’ll tell you all about my night tomorrow. I promise, I am just exhausted.” You made your way up the staircase, turning once over your shoulder to face her again. “Thank you for everything tonight, I love you.” 

You could tell Irina was trying her best to hide her slight disappointment, “Okay honey, get some good rest. I love you, too.”

You slipped out of your clothing and heels, running through your nightly routine as quickly as you could before dropping into bed. 

You’d process the entire interaction with Anderson another time. Quite frankly, you believed he deserved to get his teeth knocked in much, much sooner. You were just thankful that Charlie was the one who had stepped in. A sick sense of pride washed over you at the thought.  

For now, you could sleep peacefully knowing that Charlie Walker loved you, too.