#this whole fucking 'event' is stupid as hell. like the argument just has more holes the more you actually think about it

[erb23]

Why, instead of keeping Gotham’s henchmen employed as hench’s that are now all cat burglars, could they not just make a new business with which to employ them and provide health benefits?

Open a god dang grocery store, or a book store. Something! Why teach them to be better criminals if they’ll end up henching for more dangerous individuals later. 

There’s no offramp here for aiding villains, it just keeps them in the same position, except with the ability to better cause harm in the future.

[keijikunn]

Rivalry ── Chapter III

── A @babythotshq collab “To All the Boys I’ve Loved”

Old feelings

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x gender neutral!reader Tags: college!au, angst, it’s kinda fluffy??? i don’t know, it’s not that angst either Summary: Tsukishima Kei had never imagined that you, his forever rival in high school, would write him a letter confessing your feelings. Does Tsukishima feels the same way? Word count: 3.7k

Author’s note: I’m dividing the last chapter in two, so I won’t be too long (trust me, it’s over than 6k and I wanna spare you all lol). Hope you all enjoy the chap III and I swear by the end of the month I’ll post the final part! Biggest thank you to @kaitycole​ and @newfriendjen​ that helped me out a lot, I love you two so much 🥺

WARNINGS: swearing, tsukki being salty but what’s new?, makeout (???), hints of anxiety

RIVALRY MASTERLIST

BECOME A BOOKWORM!

Ever since that… eventful day, you managed to avoid Tsukishima like the plague. It helped the fact you had classes in different buildings, not to mention the fact the college campus was huge. You were about to forget about the letter issue, as the courses have started a few days earlier and you dedicated most of your time to get things settled into a nice routine. Things were too good to be real, though. 

You couldn’t believe in what you saw the first time you stepped inside the extracurricular class, after the first week since classes started. Not only your love letters were sent to all your previous crushes (who seemed to attend the same college as you), but the person you dreaded to see again would spend the next semester with you during your afternoon activities. 

Tsukishima Kei smirked at your distressed expression, waving at you as if you were long time friends. He wants to irk you, Y/n, don’t give him this pleasure. You are better than him anyway, you repeated it as many times as possible before the bell rang - indicating the class was about to start. Fortunately you managed to sit on the opposite side of the room as Tsukishima, though you could feel his eyes burning holes on the side of your head. 

“Why is he so annoying?” You muttered to yourself, sighing in annoyance. The professor entered the classroom, quickly introducing himself and the upcoming project you would work on. You were excited for it when you researched about the university, it was as if a dream was coming true, and you made up your mind to not let Tsukishima Kei ruin this experience. 

“As always, we randomize the duos, so be prepared to work with someone who does things differently than you.” The old man at the front announced, and your guts were telling you that this wouldn’t be good. “Raise your hand if I call your name so your partner can find you.

The longer he took to call out your name, the more convinced you were that fate wouldn’t play nice with you. When the other two people left were paired up together, leaving you and Tsukishima without a partner, you had to hold the urge to scoff. As much as you tried your hardest to not bump into your old crush, the whole universe made sure to go against your will. 

I should have gone to another extracurricular activity, damn it.

“So… guess we’re a duo, now,” Tsukishima snickered at your disgusted face, laughing at your dismay. “It’s not that bad be paired up with me, Y/n, c’mon”

“You’re right, it’s not bad.” You started, sending him a sharp glare. “It’s the worst thing ever”

With that, you turned around to pay attention to the further details the professor addressed the class. You knew Kei would try to make your experience in this project a literal hell, but you weren't going to let his antics distract you from getting anything less than the best result. You internally hoped that the tall boy also aimed for that, despite his annoying demeanor around you.  

If not, you’d have a long semester ahead of you. 

“For God’s sake, Tsukishima, this is not how we’re supposed to do it!” You whisper-yelled at the blonde boy, angrily gripping on your hair, holding yourself back from screaming at his face. It has been two weeks since you two started working on that stupid project, and it’s been two weeks of complete hell and anger. Being at the college’s library didn’t help as well, since you couldn’t externalize your frustration.  “Can’t you read what I wrote down? Professor said we should follow this!”

“Yes, I’ve read it and decided that it sucks.” Tsukishima shot back, pushing away your notebook, writing a few words on your draft. “C’mon, Y/n, you should know by now that we don’t follow any professor’s instruction. We’re not at high school anymore, be more independent, won’t you?”

You hated to admit, but he was (at some instance) right. What hurt your pride more was that his suggestion was actually good- not that you would admit that, you’d rather die than say it out loud. This idea could easily work out with what you have thought previously, not to mention it would make more sense. 

The lack of response made Tsukishima’s shit-eating grin grow on his features, irking you the exact same way he knew he was able to. He proceeded to add a few details on the paper and neatly placed it inside his folder, collecting his materials from the table. You two have been workin for almost two hours non-stop on the project after the whole morning classes, you had to admit your energy wore off at that point.

“Give me the paper, I want to add a few extra things.” You demanded, holding out your hand for him. Tsukishima arched his eyebrows as if he was surprised by such a request, then he scoffed at you - like always. “I’m not joking, I do want to modify it a bit.”

“The point of this being a group project is that we work on this together.” He stressed the last word, zipping his bag and shoving it over his shoulder. “And you wouldn’t do anything, judging by how tired you are.”

“I’m not!” 

“Then care to explain how you didn't think about what I suggested earlier?” Suddenly your mind went blank at his response, what in the world does that mean? “You can think about this tomorrow, try not to melt your tiny brain.”

The tall boy left you without sparing a second glance, fumbling with his intertwined earphones as he walked. To say you were confused by his comment would be an understatement. Was he worried you would overwork yourself? No way, Tsukishima Kei would never care enough about you of all people. 

Yet he’s still your partner. 

“Fuck off, Tsukki.” You muttered tiredly, focusing on putting your belongings inside your backpack to (finally) head to your dorms.

The first time you’ve ever heard Tsukishima’s name was after the first exam of your freshman year in high school. Everyone was crying about their low grades, groaning at the prospect of having to study a lot more to the upcoming test. If you were not mistaken, a boy in your class named Yamaguchi commented how “Tsukki was smart” and he wasn’t surprised he aced it. 

“Hey, L/n!” The girl who sits next to you approached you, paper in her hands. “How did you do?”

“I got 96%.” You answered quietly, trying not to drag attention to yourself due to your great performance. People in middle school didn’t like when you mentioned your grades, claiming you did that just to brag. 

“Ehh? You’re so smart!” She said smiling. “Please, help me study! From what I heard just you and a boy from class 3 had such a high score. And Yamaguchi-kun said Tsukishima-kun doesn’t help anybody.”

“Of course, we can study at the library if you want to.” The offer seemed to appeal to her, given the fact she nodded quickly and proceeded to write down her cellphone number to you. “By the way, who is this Tsukishima guy?”

“He’s a tall, blonde boy. He uses glasses and if I’m not wrong he’s part of the volleyball club.” She answered, waving at you as she went back to her circle of friends, leaving you to think about who this boy is. “He’s not nice though. Always treats everyone as if he’s superior.”

You were able to put a face to the name you had in your mind after a couple of weeks, when another private school had a volleyball match against the male team of Hakone Academy. It wasn’t hard to figure out that the middle blocker with a poker face was Tsukishima, and you were surprised that he was actually good looking. Something that lacked in him, though, was passion in the sport - or rather in anything, according to your classmates. 

Ever since that game, it seemed like you started to see Tsukishima every day in the corridors. You’d see him walking down the halls, his headphones always placed on the top of his ears, muffling the loud noise caused by the other students. He was cold to everybody, even rude if you were to be honest, but he was something else. His interests were inviting, itching your curiosity to get to know him better.

You realized you had a crush on Tsukishima Kei when you noticed how you paid attention to whenever you saw him around school, hearing his steady tone (usually talking to Yamaguchi) and his snarky smirk. All information you knew about him was, being honest, too little to grow intense feelings, but what got you hooked up was exactly this: you wanted to get to know him. 

Things, however, didn’t work out the way you planned. The very first interaction you had with him was a disaster. You sounded way cockier than you wanted, you’ve never planned on teasing him and you have never imagined that it would backfire on you and lead him to dislike you.

After that incident, you discovered the aversion quite a lot of students had against him. Most of them claimed the same thing: Tsukishima Kei was mean, smug, had a superiority complex and always treated everyone poorly. A part of you didn’t want to believe in that, but how could you not when he mocked you in front of everyone?

Things didn’t get easier as the project progressed, not because it was too technical or that it required too many details. Yours and Tsukishima’s endless arguments and bickering always ended in screaming matches, hurtful comments and you two not on speaking terms. The premise of group projects was to create something together, but at this point you were doing your own thing while thinking about what the other was working on. 

“Are you a dumbass or do you just pretend to be one?” Tsukishima angrily asked, dropping your notebook on the table. “This is horrible, Y/n.”

“You think it’s horrible because you’re doing things as you wish, not considering what I have to suggest!” You responded, your voice tone a few octaves higher due to your stress. Currently you two were at his dorms - the library was not an option anymore, the librarian kicked you out after you were shouting at each other - both awfully close as his dining table was tiny. “This is a fucking group project, you said it before! So you have to listen to what I have to say.”

“I’m not listening when you suggest stupid things like this!” He retorted, ripping the page out and crumpling it to toss on the floor. You widen your eyes, shocked at his recent action. 

“Wow, Tsukishima, you are really being this petty.” A humorless laugh escaped your lips, you shook your head in denial, getting up to collect your paper off the ground. The tension in the air grew thicker and the man’s intense gaze burned holes on your back. “People were right, after all. You are unbearable.”

Tsukishima’s smug facade cracked a bit, you noticed, after hearing what you just said. His smirk left his face for a brief moment and his eyes mirrored mixed feelings, could they be sorrow, insecurity? You didn’t have enough time to decipher them as he quickly recomposed himself, offering you a snark grin. 

“That’s why you liked me, huh? Did you want to correct the horrible, mean, malicious person that I am?” Tsukishima teased, hitting your emotions with ease. Your mind was empty, only his words echoing inside it, bumping into your skull with force. 

You couldn’t understand him, honestly. 

One time he is all worried about you overworking, passively aggressively implying you’re capable of suggesting better ideas; and now he’s being childish and not sparing a single offense towards you. You knew Tsukishima Kei was a hard person to handle if you’re not as quick witted as him, but this? This level of pettiness and stubbornness? For a young adult like him, that claims he’s better than everyone else? 

“I’m done.” You stated, too burnt out to respond to his teasing comment. Your temples hurt due to the confusion the blond man was giving you, the constant push and pull between you two worn you out. 

“What do you mean ‘you’re done’? We’re not done yet.” He stated as if it was a matter of fact - which was, he wasn’t wrong. 

“Do I look like I care? I’m doing this shit by myself, you can do whatever you want, I’m done with you.” Silence engulfed the room, and you mentally thanked this peaceful moment. It, however, didn’t last long, because Tsukishima always finds ways to make things worse. 

“Are you giving up that easy, Y/n? Couldn’t handle a bit of teasing?” That was it. The mocking tone he used against you was enough to snap the last string of sanity inside you, freeing a rage you never knew you had against him. The angriness burned your chest as you slammed your hands on the table, making Tsukishima flinch at the sudden outburst. 

“Yes, I can not deal with your teasing ass.” You admitted shamesly, your mind ran a thousand miles a minute, not registering the words that left your mouth. “What I can’t deal  with is a petty boy that can’t take this goddamn project seriously!”

“It wasn’t me who suggested stupid ideas.” Kei spat back, leaning in your direction, inviting you to answer him - almost like a dare. 

“You always say my ideas are vain, stupid or whatever, but you never offered anything great or fucking brilliant,” it was indeed true. Tsukishima proudly belittled everything you said for the past few weeks, but never came up with something new. Instead, he modified everything you’ve given to him. “So please, before you put yourself above the others, do something that makes you actually the best-”

Any and every train of thought you had was interrupted by the aggressive contact of Tsukishima Kei’s lips against yours. Everything seemed to melt with the heat coming from the kiss, your hands sneaking behind his neck and gripping rather harshly at his blond hair. In between the feverish moment, Tsukki managed to sit you on the table and place himself between your legs. Gasps and soft murmurs interrupted the kiss every once in a while, your mouth occasionally made its way down his jaw and neck, nibbling and sucking his skin.Only until one of you reconnected them, tongues sliding against each other.

You honestly don’t know how long you two spent making out, but it was enough time to leave a few hickeys on each other's necks and clothes lightly pulled up. Tsukishima’s ears were as red as his swollen lips, the blond hair was a mess thanks to your roaming hands and the white t-shirt wrinkled.

“Still think I don’t suggest brilliant ideas?” Tsukishima teased, but the embarrassment he was feeling was written all over his face. To say you were speechless was an understatement, you’ve just had a full make out section with your biggest high school rival, the one you knew hated you the most. “Cat got your tongue? Or should I say- did I get your tongue, Y/n?”

“What the fuck did you just do, Tsukishima?” You demanded flustered, the feeling of his body close to yourself fading away. "Why have you done this?!" 

"Don't tell me you didn't enjoy, Y/N, I can feel the spot you left a hickey on." His comment made you groan in annoyance, because you knew you wouldn't be able to retort it. 

Not paying attention to your surroundings, you pushed Tsukishima away from you, quickly grabbing your bag to leave his dorms. You didn't mind if you forgot something at his place - you would see him the next day, anyway. All you wanted was to get away from him, to finally think straight.

The cool air of the end of the day would help you come back to a reasonable state of mind.

You kept acting around Tsukishima after the first encounter. Whenever you had the chance to irk him you did it, initiating an unnecessary banter. You felt stupid to say the least, how low could you go? 

Yet, you continued. Just to have his attention. Pathetic. However, you had a limit. And Tsukishima managed to trespass it with such facility you were surprised. 

It happened during your second year, exactly one year after you got so interested in that mean boy. Things weren't easy for you, many reasons were behind your unstable state. School was overwhelming like never before, you could barely juggle between regular activities and your club's. 

The stress weighted on you to the point you let your grades slip at one exam. You knew you had your worst performance so far, and the subject didn't help you as well. 

"I'm going to hand back the exams." Your homeroom teacher announced, earning heavy groans from the whole class. A sigh escaped your lips, knowing how screwed you were if Tsukishima knew how poorly you did. "L/n Y/n" 

As you got up from your desk, you felt a familiar pair of eyes burn holes on your back. The moment you read the barely 50% score written on the top of the paper, you blanked out. You missed how your teacher kindly smiled at you, reminding how this one performance didn't define you. The words didn't make sense to you, because for you it didn't matter. You failed. 

Tears pricked the corner of yours eyes, shallow breaths escaped your parted lips as you sat down once again, barely sparing a glance at the paper on your desk. You truly didn’t know if someone tried to approach you, mind far away from reality, engulfing itself in a spiral of self doubt, worries and self depreciation. 

“Well… looks like the top 2 student failed miserably on the test.” The steady, yet teasing tone of Tsukishima’s voice broke you out of your own head. “You’re fake, couldn’t even get more than half of it correct. You’re a lie, Y/n.”

“Not now, please.” It took most part of your will to mutter these three words without letting your voice crack. Tsukishima arched his eyebrows, amused by the scene unfolding in front of him: you lowering your head against your forearms on the table, shielding your tears from anyone. “Tease me all you want, but please do it another time.”

However, he kept going. Tsukishima pointed out every single question you got wrong, rubbing in your face how he aced another stupid paper while you were a failure. The classroom was noisy, the end of the period let the students talk freely, but you only heard Kei’s voice, adding to your pre-existent stress and pressure. 

As far as you could remember, you’ve never underestimated him in any interaction you two had. Sure, you threw a teasing comment every once in a while, but always bragging about yourself, how you’ve outsmarted him. But you were sure you never humiliated him - and you’d never do such a low blow like this. 

“Enough, Tsukishima!” You raised your voice, everyone now was paying attention to you two. The embarrassment heated your entire face and your tears finally ran down your cheeks, the blond boy seemed startled with your sudden outburst, though his smirk quickly returned to your face. “I got that you’re better, now can you please shut the fuck up?!”

Thankfully the bell rang, indicating classes were over for the day. You quickly shoved your test on your bag, throwing it over your shoulder as you turned to head to the door. With the sleeve of your coat, you wiped the reminiscent tears from your eyes and left the room. Not only you exited that suffocating place, but also you left behind the stupid crush you had on Tsukishima Kei. 

Since that day, you couldn’t stand being near him, all teasing interactions reduced to none and you’ve never checked the scoreboard as soon as the grades were out. You focused on your own stuff, trying your best to clear your thoughts from Tsukishima - which didn’t work as well as you planned. 

Every once in a while, in the middle of a studying session, you found yourself pushing your limits like you used to do to get a higher performance than him. As much as you hated to admit, Tsukishima was a great incentive to do better, to set higher goals academically speaking. And though he caused you a lot of pain, a part of you (the stupid one, in your words) still thought he was attractive, you still had a tiny interest in the true guy behind that acting. 

That’s why you decided to write him that letter. Perhaps admitting your “crush” on him would make you realize you’ve created almost an entire new person using his name and face. In a way it actually helped, you truly thought you have moved on from him and college would give you a new beginning away from Tsukishima. 

Fate, on the other hand, had other plans for you and here you are: walking slowly towards your dorms, emotionally drained and confused. The prospect of Tsukishima Kei having the slightest interest in you was shocking, especially after all those three years of. endless insults. 

Are those feelings coming back? 

“Oh, no.” You muttered to yourself, immediately stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, frightened about your last thought. “Oh my, there’s no way I’m crushing Tsukishima once again!” 

If you concentrated enough, you could still feel his chapped lips against your skin, his large hands roaming through your body. He was right about you enjoying it- in reality, you did more than you’d like to admit. Tsukishima Kei was annoyingly filling your mind with both his smart and arrogant ass and that unexpected (but surprising) heated moment. 

You needed to get to your dorms and take a long shower to put your thoughts in order, because there’s no way you’re having feelings for Tsukishima Kei once again.

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[earnestly-endlessly]

Could you please rec cherik fics where they still have powers but being mutant is well accepted? (Kind of like the Daycare Verse by brillingspoons) THANK U SO MUCH YOURE INCREDIBLE

Hi anon, of course I have a list for you. I am so sorry for the delay. I have been super busy lately with work and home renovations, but I’m back and I have a looong list for you. Now, the nature of x-men as a parallel of the very real fight of minority groups for civil rights makes it pretty hard to find fics where everyone accepts mutants.That’s actually why I love the x-men, because they represent the fight of those who are ostracised. So, some of these might have some social commentary, but the main focus does not lie there. Also, if you love the Daycare Verse check out pocky_slash’s fics (who actually wrote the majority of the Daycare Verse). 

------

Cherik ´Still Have Powers Modern AU´ Fic Recs

irreconcilable differences (make for surprisingly good bedfellows) – pocky_slash

Summary: Tonight on The Evening Report with Malcolm Stevens, noted geneticist and mutant equality proponent Dr. Charles Xavier faces off with the infamous mutant rights activist Magneto in a live televised debate over the Genetic Nondiscrimination Act.

(At least, if they can stop flirting long enough to stay on topic.)

Words and Pictures – pocky_slash

Summary: When Lorna's powers manifest early, Charles Xavier's mutant picture books are the perfect teaching tool. Erik just hadn't expected the author to be so young. Or attractive. Or available.

For the Record – endingthemes

Summary: As prominent figures in the mutant rights movement, activists Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr are pretty much household names. When a romance scandal between them breaks, their celebrity reaches new heights, and though the increased exposure is great, there’s a big problem -- the two of them are just friends.

Too bad no one believes them.

Runs in the Family – Anonysquirrel (chibirisuchan)

Summary: Alex knew his own reputation. Hell, he'd started some of his own reputation, because it kept some of the smarter thugs off his back. Everyone knew Alex's reputation. There was no way Hank didn't know his reputation, but he'd brought Alex into a house with some really expensive things and a lot of innocent little kids and his too-friendly, too-harmless dad.

But clearly Hank hadn't told his family anything about Alex, just like he hadn't told Alex anything about his family. At least, not about the brain-breaking parts of his family.

"I didn't know where to start," Hank said, for the dozenth time.

Featuring mpreg!Charles in a Kiss The Cook apron, overprotective!Erik in wet black leather, and baked goods. Lots and lots of baked goods.

(Another segment of this series is posted under the Cookie Cutter fic collection - thanks again, Takmarierah!)

Impulse Decisions – listerinezero

Summary: Erik wakes up in Las Vegas with a hell of a hangover, a telepath in his bed, and a ring on his finger. Now what?

You Show Me Yours - endingthemes

Summary: When Erik receives nudes in the middle of the night from an unknown number, he's confused and mildly amused. He doesn't expect it to turn into an actual conversation...with feelings.

As if that's not baffling enough, his friend's brother ends up crashing at his place, further complicating everything.

Some Such Place (The Big Screen Classics Remix) - Pocky_Slash

Summary: Erik's spent the last eighteen months having lengthy socio-political conversations and casual sex with Charles Xavier after seeing Monday matinees at a dingy little independent movie theatre in the Village. That doesn't mean they're friends. Or that Erik should have any say in what Charles is going to do with his future.

(At least, that's what Erik keeps telling himself.)

Into Your Tar, Honey  - tomato_greens

Summary: Really, Alex doesn’t know why he’s in the damn class.

(Or, the one in which Charles teaches an online Introduction to Biology course, and Alex reads more than he expected to.)

Heli Cases - Black_Betty

Summary: "Heli Cases" is a program on PBS whose aim is to educate on the rapidly increasing occurrence of genetic mutation in the general populous by breaking the complex science down into palatable, easy to digest pieces.

It is also the only thing that helps Erik get his fussy daughter to fall asleep.

(Featuring Dadneto, baby Lorna and the struggles of single fatherhood, and Charles as the host of a late night show about genetics.)

Bound - FuryRed

Summary: Is there anything worse than someone else’s wedding? Well, perhaps your sister’s wedding- where the groom just has to invite his boss and that man just happens to be your ex-boyfriend; a person you had an extremely passionate and tumultuous relationship with that ended badly.

Charles hadn’t seen Erik for a year by the time Raven had told him about the wedding. He wasn’t looking forward to the occasion, particularly when Raven explained that they would be celebrating the event with a two-week extravaganza at a luxury hotel, meaning that Charles would be forced to spend a whole fortnight with the man who he’d given everything to; the man who had ultimately broken his heart…

An Exercise in Frustration – ikeracity

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr's latest critically-acclaimed film Shame features a full-frontal nudity scene. His long-suffering husband Charles is really very peeved about it.

Eyes on Fire - Black_Betty

Summary: Every once in a while, fashion tycoon Emma Frost invites her favourite male models over to entertain her. And by "entertain", I mean she makes them have kinky consensual sex in front of her....Emma never touches herself when she watches, but she always has a glass of wine with her. Emma likes it best when they eventually forget that she's watching.

Charles and Erik meet each other through Emma...

(I've taken some liberties with the prompt, but all the sex is still there, and it's wholly consensual...and gradually, becomes more than just sex...)

Order Up - ikeracity

Summary: Charles has a terrible habit of multitasking, and that is probably why he absentmindedly tells the pizza man that he loves him when hanging up.

Then the pizza man says it back. And Charles is pretty much smitten from there.

Some Assembly Required - manic_intent

Summary: "Alex and Hank were two teenagers who frequently fight in school. One fight got so bad that the principal called in their fathers (as both came from single-parent families)/ guardians for a conference. This was how Charles and Erik meet."

Limited Release - rageprufrock

Summary: When Alex Summers broke out of supermax to rescue his stupid kid brother, he had no idea it was going to be so fucking complicated.

Math Reasons – pearl_o, pocky_slash

Summary: "Mom says Erik always knows what he wants, it just sometimes takes him a little while to actually realize it," Ruth said.

Charles fell in love with Erik the first night they met, the first week of freshman year. Two years of friendship, adventures, arguments, hijinks, secrets, and summer visits later, Erik is starting to catch up.

It’s kind of our whole thing – pearl_o, pocky_slash

Summary: After two years of best friendship, Charles and Erik thought they knew everything there was to know about each other. They're surprised, then, when their first summer as a couple reveals that they have a lot to learn about each other and themselves.

PART 2 of Math Reasons

A Nice Boy (The Family Matters Edition) – pocky_slash

Summary: Erik's not sure whether the problem is that he doesn't want his parents to meet Charles or that he doesn't want Charles to meet his parents. Either way, he never invites Charles to brunch. Why should he? It's not like they're dating.

apple season – pocky_slash

Summary: "You know," Charles says while they're sitting around the kitchen table reading the paper, "You should take Anya apple picking."

"Don't you mean 'we?'" Erik responds. The silence that follows is enough to make him re-examine his own apple picking memories a little more closely. Uneven ground littered with apples, tree roots, holes, and narrow passage between rows of orchard trees. "Oh," he says.

rooms/shares – pocky_slash

Summary: Erik is single, working a cube job he hates, letting his master's degree in mutant studies collect dust, and living on his best friend's couch. When she kicks him out, he's forced to trawl Craigslist for the least-offensive rooming option within his meagre budget. He never expects a response from the persnickety, high maintenance ad he replies to as a joke, but it's possible this too-nice apartment and mysteriously absent roommate might be the answer to all four of his problems.

Continue firm and constant – aesc

Summary: Moira hasn't seen her old partner in saving the world from threats human and intergalactic, Erik Lehnsherr, for a few years. When she finally does see him again, she finds a man different from the one who's been with her down in the dark and the dirt and the blood... or maybe he isn't so different after all.

Tough little baby telepath – aesc, pearl_o

Five Part Series

Summary: Teenage telepath Charles Xavier takes a job as a consultant, working with prickly police detective Erik Lehnsherr. Charles is used to being on his own and taking care of himself; he has no reason to think that his relationship with this stern, icy man is going to change any of that.

Frosted hearts – aesc, palalife

Summary: Emma Frost has 99 problems, but a date ain't one. Specifically, she has no time to play the dating game--which is fine with her, because she'd much rather run it instead. From a set of sleek, silver and white offices on Fifth Avenue and with her trusty, stylish, and silent partner Janos Quested, Emma has built Frosted Hearts into New York City's premiere dating service, built on the principle that money, and a sufficiently rigorous psionic scan, can, in fact, buy you love.

Somewhere in Frosted Hearts's server is one Charles Xavier, genius and geneticist, with the kind of nicely-starched good looks that sell well on brochures for New England prep schools. He's also a telepath who's decided to give up pursuing serious relationships and instead spend his thirties doing what he should have done as a teenager: have a lot of sex with random people. Fortunately for him, Erik Lehnsherr, metallokinetic and engineering executive, has absolutely no time in his heart or his schedule for anything more serious than... well, absolutely nothing romantic at all.

Mercy of the Fallen (the AirDrop Security Update 2.0) – pocky_slash

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr feels defined by his past sins and after years of acting against his own moral compass, he's finally struck out on his own. He's his own boss now, and determined to work hard to help the mutant community and make up for years of doing someone else's dirty work.

Complicating this is Charles Xavier, mutant advocate, genetics professor, unfairly attractive telepath, and owner of the coffee shop below Erik's office. Erik may not think he deserves to be a part of the community he's thrown himself into helping, but Charles has other ideas on the matter, and he's determined to do everything in his power to make Erik see himself as a force for good.

you follow and i’ll lead – pearl_o, pocky_slash

Summary: When Charles discovers how frustrated and self-conscious his best friend Erik is about his ignorance about sex, he's eager to volunteer to help teach him and practice. Charles might not have any more direct experience than Erik, but he does have a telepath's mind full of accidentally picked-up fantasies and memories, as well as knowledge of a few dirty books - and more importantly, he's been madly in love with Erik for years. This seems like a brilliant, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that he can't pass up.

Now he just needs to manage to keep his feelings in check, and not ruin their friendship forever.

Snail Mail – pocky_slash

Summary: Alex isn't thrilled when his boss, Erik, starts sending him to hand deliver notes to Erik's husband up at the university--that is, until he sees the Professor's hot new TA, and suddenly, the notes can't come fast enough. If only Alex could work up the guts to ask him out....

this is life (and everything’s all right) – pocky_slash

Summary: Edie Lehnsherr came into Charles' life long before he ever heard Erik Lehnsherr's name, and her death left a gaping hole in the lives of everyone in Charles' family. As the first Purim without her approaches, he begins to get creative in his efforts to bring everyone out of their grief. Kitchen creativity, however, is not quite his strength....

Watching the Detectives – Clocks

Summary: Detectives Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr are good friends and colleagues. However, when they go undercover at a Christmas party to nab a prime suspect, Erik keeps reminding himself to stay professional and ignore feelings of unexpected jealousy.

Student/Teacher Relations – PoorMedea

Summary: As a TA, Charles knows he can't get involved in all his students' lives. He needs to keep professional boundaries, to make sure that he's an authority figure. But when he accidentally finds out how complicated Erik Lehnsherr's home life is, he suddenly finds that distance hard to maintain.

Fill for the prompt: Erik is the teen dad of adorable baby!Lorna. I just want teen!Erik being a dad, with adorable interactions between him and his baby. Angst is good too since there's always going to be some in such situations, but mainly I want to see teen dad Erik being an awesome dad who loves the hell out of his daughter despite whatever else may be going on.

Conspiracy of Kisses – Alaceron

Summary: Seven-year-old Erik needs to keep his telepathic best friend Charles from finding out that he wants to kiss him. But that's okay, because he has a plan - he'll put on a tinfoil hat.

Favorite Mistake – endingthemes

Summary: Charles Xavier doesn’t think anything of it when he sneaks out without even saying goodbye to his latest one-night stand. What he doesn’t expect is to walk into his new position in the Xavier Industries marketing department and find that his latest hook-up is now his new boss.

Never Take Biology for Granite – ikeracity, pangea

Summary: Charles is an internet celebrity who garners his fame from posting educational, in-depth videos about a different animal every week, though for some reason his viewers are always more interested in his sex life with his geologist husband, Erik, who happens to frown heavily upon all living things.

Except for Charles, of course, whom he's missed these past couple days while attending a geologic convention--though considering the subject material of Charles' newest video, he's wishing he would've stayed away longer.

This Is Not Comedy – baehj2915

Summary: Written for amarriageoftrueminds' prompt for a Cherik version of Louis CK's tangent about the fuckability of Ewan McGregor.

Naturally the similarities end there. I made this about Erik's full on public lust-filled gay revelation, and the chaos that spirals from there.

Snowed In – dedkake

Summary: Charles and Erik have a one night stand, but a blizzard traps them in Erik's apartment afterward.

[brokutosan]

Title. How Do You Mend When You’re Worlds Apart? (We Carry On)

Pairing. Iwaizumi Hajime x Fem!Reader

Summary. In which long distance is hard. Inspired by the song ‘Make It Better’ by Anderson Paak.

Warnings. Pure angst, also doesn’t have much dialogue. Manga spoilers up to the latest chapters and strong language included. Title is a line from the song ‘Make It Better’ by Anderson Paak.

In highschool, Iwaizumi and Y/N were inseparable. Wherever one is, chances are the other is nearby. They were the perfect model couple, proof that highschool sweethearts aren’t always doomed to be just that. Maybe it’s because both were equally mature, or maybe it’s because of the fact that the two of them kept Oikawa on a leash, but anything the world threw at them, the two felt ready for it.

So when Iwaizumi decided to purue his dreams across the ocean, she was fine with it. And so were all of their friends. If anyone could handle long distance, it would be Iwaizumi and Y/N. Because they were Iwaizumi and Y/N, and Iwaizumi and Y/N were inseparable.

Turns out putting an entire ocean between an inseparable couple could, in fact, separate them. Iwaizumi and Y/N became Iwaizumi, student at UC Irvine, and Y/N, student at Tokyo University. The distance between them grew harder to ignore over time.

It wasn’t something that happened overnight. And to be fair, they lasted a good three years making it work before going down the hell hole of late night (or morning, for one of them) arguments and distrust clouding their judgements. After a while, the two realize that the distance has taken its toll on them. Y/N thinks that it’s because they’re too used to being around each other, but now that they’re not, they’ve become more sensitive to even the tiniest matters. Iwaizumi thinks it’s all just bad communication.

Either way, anyone could tell that they’re only uselessly holding onto something that’s very clearly broken. Perhaps it’s the fact that they’ve already put in over six years into their relationship, and that giving it up now would mean giving up those six long years together. And no one wants to be the one that says, “Yeah, I wasted six long years with an idiot only for it to all go down the drain.”

Y/N first realizes this was the case after a night of drinking with her college classmates. She definitely had too much alcohol in her system that night, but she’s always been the type to be hyper aware of her surroundings. She wasn’t the type to do something she knows she would regret the morning after.

Her first explosive fight with Iwaizumi happens a few hours after she drunk herself under the table, at around three in the morning (or dinner time for Iwaizumi). Y/N made sure to be responsible enough to get herself home safe, under her own sheets, but Iwaizumi thought different. Y/N spent the following hours until her first class to explain to her enraged boyfriend that no, that woman in the background of Takahiro’s snapchat story sucking some douchebag’s face off isn’t me!

The months that follow that catalystic event were spent like they were walking through a minefield, any small argument setting off a bigger one that usually ended in tears. At one point Y/N was nearly tempted to throw her phone out the window and completely cut off connections with Iwaizumi, but knowing him, he’d probably catch the first flight back home just to chew her ear off.

What seems to be the worst fact of it all is that they were never like that in the beginning. But at this point there’s no more going back. It’s like they’re stuck in a burning car, but they don’t want to jump out. They’re only options are to just try and put out the flames or wait for the car to crash and burn.

Today is no different.

Y/N is invited by her old highschool friends, Matsukawa and Hanamaki, to go out for drinks. Y/N complies because no one would refuse a free dinner and drinks. But as she steps out her apartment, dressed casually enough but still putting in a little effort in her appearance, Y/N receives a facetime call from none other than Iwaizumi himself, who looks more pissed off than usual.

“What’s wrong?” Y/N asks as she notices his frown, genuinely concerned.

“Are you going somewhere?” Iwaizumi evades the question. Oh well. She expected this. Y/N has known her boyfriend long enough to know that there really is something wrong, he’s just too pissy to admit it.

“Yeah. With Takahiro and Issei.” She replies curtly, grabbing her purse and house keys from the side table and unlocking the door. Iwaizumi freezes, not saying anything. Y/N almosts hangs up thinking it’s due to poor connection, until he speaks up again.

“Oh. Nevermind then.” What the fuck? Y/N thinks to herself, though has half the mind to know not to say it out loud. Instead she says, “If there’s something bothering you, just tell me. Hiro and Issei can wait.” Her offer is met by another few seconds of silence, before Iwaizumi sighs and says, “No, it’s fine. Have fun. Stay safe.” The - once usual - ‘I love you’ is lost somewhere, probably amidst his pride and whatever the fuck was bothering him.

As he ends the call, Y/N decides to press any further. Lately she’s realized that the best way to prevent arguments with him was to just ignore the things bothering her. Destructive? Definitely. But is it effective? One hundred percent. Y/N argues that it’s the lesser of two evils, and if one of those evils is a furious Iwaizumi, then she’d rather take her chances with whatever’s the other option.

The whole commute to the izakaya she agreed to meet her friends in is filled with a mental dilemma of whether or not she should call him back. And she stays that way ‘til she gets to the place and Matsukawa, the attentive bastard, is asking her, “Why do you look like shit?”

“Damn, you really hate the thought of seeing us that much?” Hanamaki adds on, because Hanamaki and Matsukawa come in pair and when one is teasing you, then chances are the other one is too.

“Kinda regretting it now. Is it too late to turn back?” Y/N jokes, but is only ushered over by her two smirking friends. Y/N, despite her contempt, complies and sits down on one end of the booth.

“You can’t run away from us. Like you physically can’t. You love us too much.” And she hates how much she knows he’s right, but she’s not telling them that because they’ll never let her live it down.

“Disgusting. Someone kill me right now.” Y/N fake gags, smiling at the waiter as he passes by with a weird look on his face. Hanamaki and Matsukawa laugh, before Hanamaki’s face straightens into a serious look.

“Oh yeah, did Iwaizumi tell ‘ya yet?” He mentions nonchalantly. Y/N wants to say, ‘no, because talking to that moron only makes my head hurt,’ but she doesn’t, mostly because they’d probably obsessively worry over it. Instead she says, “Tell me what?”

They share a look.

“Wait, seriously? I thought you’d be the first to know.” It’s Matsukawa that speaks up first, with a bewildered look on his face. “I mean no offense but aren’t you two usually the lovey dovey jackasses that can’t keep secrets from each other?”

“Yeah. I’m still not over you telling him about my Hatsune Miku shrine.” Hanamaki adds, though it’s unappreciated by Matsukawa, who throws him a dirty look and a, “What the fuck, man. Stop bringing that shit up.” Hanamaki looks at his friend with ‘hurt’ laced in his face before firing back, “Stop disrespecting my wife, asshole!”

“Are you two done?”

The two supposed grown men halt their little ‘back-and-forth,’ and Hanamaki perks up again remembering the previous topic at hand.

“Oh yeah! So Iwaizumi really didn’t tell you?” She could only shake her head ‘no,’ taking a sip of the mediocre beer in her hands. She makes a mental note to remind herself never to let Hanamaki pick which izakaya they’re going to.

“You’re both pissing me off, what did he not tell me?” Y/N grumbles, growing impatient. It could just be because the beer is far too stale for her taste. Why is this place still open?

“Apparently Oikawa went to visit him two days ago and the two idiots had a big fight. I heard it almost got physical this time.” So that’s wny he looked so pissed off earlier. Lately the only facial features he’s shown her are anger and discontent, so maybe she thought nothing of it when he did it again just an hour ago. She feels horrible, but not too much.

“Something about Oikawa not taking his bad knee seriously enough. Honestly I think Iwaizumi got mad because he’s been studying about it for three years now.” Hanamaki adds, raising his glass to ask for another cup of beer. Y/N doesn’t care as much anymore about the shitty beer, but she still gives him a weird look for being so into it.

“Oh.” Arguments be damned, Y/N still had to save face. If anyone were proud supporters of her and Iwaizumi’s relationship, it’s these two idiots arguing over a meme on Hanamaki’s phone right across the table. She racks her brain for any plausible excuse as to why she wasn’t made aware of something this big, but her mind drew a blank.

“It is kinda weird you weren’t the first to find out. Granted we had to find out from Oikawa, but if anything I was sure Iwaizumi would’ve already went crying to you.” Hanamaki muses. Oh no. Y/N knows that tone, and when Hanamaki, of all people, uses it...then she’s thoroughly fucked.

“Is there something you’re not telling us?” Matsukawa completes. Y/N tries not to laugh at the fact that they still try to complete each other’s sentences, despite the fact that they were just arguing about which Spongebob meme is better just a few seconds ago.

“Nothing, really. I haven’t really gotten the chance to check in on Hajime, with exams and all.” Y/N lies through her teeth. They were just arguing three days ago about something Y/N can’t even remember now.

“Uh huh, sure. Let me know when you pull your head out of your ass.” Hanamaki retorts. Y/N resists the urge to reach over the table and wipe that stupid smirk off his face.

“Shut up, blondie.”

“Uh, that’s strawberry blondie to you.”

“You’re both completely going off topic. Y/N, why didn’t Iwaizumi tell you anything?” Matsukawa leans over the table, wearing that unreadable facial expression he used to wear back in highschool, during a match, going up for a block. Y/N momentarily thinks how fortunate she is for not being one of those they’ve went against in highschool.

“Shouldn’t you be asking Hajime that?”

“We should, but he’s not here right now. You are. I mean you two were always like two halves of one whole, right?” Hanamaki presses on, forgetting all about their previous argument. She lets his words settle in. Two halves of one whole, huh? Suddenly Y/N is brought back to one of their most recent arguments. About their future together. Or lack of one.

Y/N looks down at her stale mug of beer, feeling hypnotized by the amber color that’s reflecting her face with a look of concern. Though she has no reason to be. Ever since getting into a relationship with Hajime, and faling into the same crowd, most conversations around her usually revolved around the topic of their relationship. It never bothered her before, so why is it bothering her now?

And it hits her. Not as a life changing revelation, but rather something she’s always known deep, deep, deep down.

That just like how she’s been needlessly obsessing over the horrible tasting beer, she’s been needlessly clinging onto something that’s not there anymore. Just like how despite this izakaya being their usual meeting place whenever they found the time to hang out, the beer tasted different today, of all days. Just like how now, Y/N finally snaps herself awake and completely understand that her and Iwaizumi, just aren’t in love anymore.

They tried, the past few months filled with arguments being a testament to how they fought tooth and nail to salvage what’s left of a bygone feeling.

Right. The argument. Three weeks ago, Iwaizumi had called her a few hours past midnight in Tokyo, excited to reveal that “Yes! I’m going to start my internship with Takashi Utsui right after graduation!” And instead of being excited for him too, Y/N picked a fight. That one was totally her fault, she admits. She pressed him on the importance of their relationship, on the importance of distance, and how the one between them is slowly eating them alive. Iwaizumi cut off communication with her for a week, before Y/N finally apologized only for them to be amidst another argument now, just two weeks later.

Y/N realizes she’s been quiet for too long, when the noise of the izakaya draws back in and she’s rudely brought back to her senses by an annoyed Matsukawa snapping his fingers in front of her face. “Are you okay?”

The question lets loose an abundance of emotions, some she can’t quite put a finger on, but she knows is bothering her. It’s been too long since someone checked in on her like that, so genuinely. So concerned. Oh god. Was she turning into a touch starved idiot like Oikawa?

“Uh, I - I don’t know.” Is her pathetic response. The two men in front of her share another look, before Hanamaki simply sighs, “We’ll drop it, sorry. You can talk when you’re ready.”

And as if a switch has been flipped, they fall into a smoother conversation, one about school and their social lives. How Hanamaki heard that Yahaba and Kyoutani went to New York together for God knows why, and how Kindaichi’s finally starting for his Division 2 team. Y/N, on the other hand, can’t seem to focus. Perhaps it’s the thing she was thinking about earlier. Okay. It’s definitely that.

Eagerly, Y/N shoots up and slings her bag over her shoulders, muttering, “Sorry, I have to go.”

“Pay for your drinks, cheapass!” Hanamaki half-jokingly calls out, also standing up. Matsukawa grabs his wrist, seemingly understanding something and leaving the strawberry blonde out of the loop.

“Don’t. I think this might just be serious.”

-

Upon stepping back into the comfort of her room, Y/N turns on her phone, fingers hovering just above the call button. She was so sure of it before, at the izakaya, but now that she’s had time to think, she doesn’t know what to say.

Wait - no, she’s breaking up with him. That’s for sure. She’s not exactly confident she could take another second being in ticking time bomb of a relationship, but how does she even begin the conversation? Iwaizumi was her first everything, and that might just include first break up. How do people even do this? She feels like she’s about to rip the guy’s heart out of his chest, and that’s not something she could live with.

Fuck it, Y/N thinks to herself as she presses the call button. Iwaizumi picks up after three rings, voice grumpy as ever. “Yeah?” Now Y/N feels like a bitch for doing this over a phone call. But it’s not like she could book a flight to California with the money she doesn’t exactly have, just to break up with her boyfriend of six years. So she improvises.

“Can you get on Skype?”

She hears rustling on the other end of the call, and the telltale sound of a zipper being unzipped. “Sure.”

A few moments later, she’s connected to the call, and now that she’s looking directly at Iwaizumi’s face through her laptop screen, does Y/N finally realize what she’s about to do. Before the guilt could even start to settle in, Iwaizumi opens his mouth and starts the conversation.

“I thought you were going out.” He states, face still scrunched up into that nasty scowl from earlier. Knowing the reason behind it, a fight with his best friend, Y/N isn’t as bothered by it. Okay maybe it’s bothering her. Dumping him while he’s down? She didn’t even know she was capable of something so heinous.

“I was out. I just got back home though.”

“Oh.” He looks like he wants to press further, but something’s holding him back. The same something that’s been causing him to lash out for the past few months. Y/N doesn’t miss the conflicted look on his face, nor does she miss the sigh that he lets out. Good. He’s just as exhausted as she is. Might make this a whole lot easier.

“Is there a reason why you wanted to call?” He offers an olive branch first, and Y/N happily accepts it. “Yeah, actually, there is.” She gulps, probably hard enough for him to hear, but her nerves are starting to get the best of her.

He stares at the camera, probably waiting for her to go on, then. Well, jokes on him. Y/N’s waiting too. Waiting for her to gather enough figurative balls to say what needs to be said.

“Um - okay, so,” Y/N starts, very lamely, “it’s about us.” Iwaizumi looks like he’s about to say something, but Y/N is quick to interject, “Wait! Let me just let it all out. Before I go completely crazy. And then you can talk. Yell. Curse, whatever you feel like doing after I say what I’m about to say.”

“I’m not gonna do any of that.”

“Okay. Good. Because I might cry if you do. And if I cry then I definitely won’t get to say what needs to be said.” Y/N is speaking out of her ass, that much she could tell. She could also tell he’s losing his patience, which she doesn’t totally blame him for.

“I think I know where this is going. You can say it.” Iwaizumi sounds a lot calmer, which is good, because Y/N doesn’t really know how she’d take it if he wasn’t. And then she looks down, fiddling with her fingers on her lap and the ring on her pinky finger that Iwaizumi gave to her before leaving for college.

And then Y/N decides to rip the bandage off, “I think we should break up.”

A sigh.

Not exactly her first choice of a reaction, but she’d take a sigh over a full blown confrontation any day. In fact, she’s probably a little too relieved that that was his first reaction. Means he’s thought about it too, and that she’s not the only one feeling guilty about all this.

“I’m sorry.” Y/N finds herself saying, still not daring to look up into the computer screen. She realizes how ironic it is that the calmest conversation they’ve had in months is when they’re about to break up.

“Don’t be. It’s both our faults.” He reassures her. And she finally looks up, catching her reflection on the webcam and how her eyes are slightly red and watery. (But so are his).

“Trust me I know,” Y/N finds the strength to force out a bitter laugh, and adds, “but I just...am. I’m sorry we couldn’t make it work. I really wanted it to work.”

“So did I.” Iwaizumi offers a bittersweet smile, reminding her that this probably hurts for him just as much as it did for her. “But we couldn’t. And that’s on both of us. Don’t feel the need to take all the blame.”

“God, Oikawa’s gonna fucking lose it. He rooted for us so hard.” Y/N lets out a genuine laugh, remembering her chocolate haired friend that’s probably going to cry harder than they do combined. And then silence engulfs them. Conversation that used to flow so smoothly between them long gone, and the connection they had as lovers severed.

“Um, I’ll catch up with you soon. Take it easy okay?” Iwaizumi finally speaks up, probably sick of the silence. “Yeah, sure. Talk to you soon.” Except she doesn’t. In fact, the next time Y/N hears from Iwaizumi is at his welcome home party, two years later. And by then they’ve both probably moved on (she can’t really speak for Iwaizumi), to bigger and better things, and hopefully to other people.

-

“And it’s easier to walk away, than to look for what would make you stay.” - Anderson Paak.

A/N. Reposted because I wanted to edit it a bit. An izakaya is basically a traditional Japanese bar! Ending is a bit rushed, but I kinda just wanted to finish it on a slightly bittersweet note?? Thank you for reading tho, I’m gonna go cry now :) - chuu

[incarnateirony]

Look - off her rockers Kelios thinking that line was about Dean and Lee cutting a woman in half and violating her parts says everything about her mental state. But I disagree that the only SANE and LOGICAL interpretation of sharing a woman is that they took part in a devil's triangle. It's possible. I am not saying it's not, at all. But that wasn't my immediate thought. Mine was Dean had sex with her. Then she went with Lee. Perfectly valid, non sane, non-gay interpretation. Why are YOU right?

*Yawwwwwns* Any other nonnies want to come out and show that they don’t understand their headcanon versus the text and literally the most straightforward reading of the content? Is this just a loop I’m going to have to deal with? “VINDICATE MY BITTERNESS BY PERSONALLY PERFORMING FOR ME, FOR IT IS I! GLASSESFACE MCNOBODY”.

Calm down anon.

I’ll eventually write about it.

Given, I have more important things to talk about, first, than teaching what median stats tells me is somewhere in the wheelhouse of either a 17 year old that has no idea how storytelling and production works that’s been gaslit to death by a 40 year old conspiracy theorist; or, alternately, you in fact are a 40 year old woman panicking about dicks touching and/or pissed that they didn’t get to see the dicks touching and/or intentionally misreading anything and hoping to justify that with to a  whole… *checks statcounter* 4 nonnies, probably all hiding in the same group chat and pretending to be unrelated while targeting different discussion angles from aggressive to sea lion – like, look. I’ve got mytharc meta to do. I’ve got general meta to do. I’ve got music videos to make.

“ELI5 what I already know better about but pretend the rest of the world doesn’t” is really not peak discussion.

But minding, of course, that I do often talk about things like false narratives, manipulated discussion and definitions, and fandom moving its own goalposts to a mix of idiot antis that already know better, a perceived GA resisting them that doesn’t exist in any metrix, and… *shrug* it’s about all you guys have to do anymore once you got lost to that bitter hole?

I’m sorry if your entire fucking experience has been subsumed by talking down your own textual LGBT content just because you… want to collectively imagine there’s a bunch of other people that don’t get 2+2 and/or get 2+2 but want to argue with the content. And/or you’ve chosen to or been convinced that “high visibility, inarguable text” is the same as deadass “text”. Either way it’s ridiculous.

That’s a you thing.

Is it fair to want more visible text? Sure! That’s the nature of the LGBT battle! Totally fair!

THAT DOESN’T MAKE THE TEXT NOT TEXT NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU CHOOSE TO MANIPULATE THE SANDBOX.

You are confusing “unsatisfactory text” with “subtext”.

I’ll eventually include this very event in my inevitable fandom discourse, but there’s a certain amount I’m going to limit you intentionally wanky, anonymous fuckers disrupting my general talk and analysis of the show.

I’ll get there when I get there. And you’re probably not going to look kindly back on the memorial of your own anonymous reflection when I do.

But one thing I will absolutely not abide, and not be party in, is deleting text, thin and unsatisfactory to some as it may be, that does, indeed textualize an element that multiple bisexual people in my mentions have been lamenting y’all *choosing to delete their representative text*. No, it’s not “fine” because you’re bisexual too. That’ll never be fine. Microaggressions against your own are never fine. Your internalized issues are yours, and once they spray on other people, you’re bringing *your* garbage to *their* footstep.

It’s *fine* to want that more visible text. It is *not fine* to delete existing LGBT text and your own fellow LGBT community members just because it was not *satisfactory text to YOU*.

If your fight for “visibility” is motivated primarily by “but I want to win every argument ever online no matter how much of an intentionally stupid fuckface this anti that might as well be a MAGAtrollbot this person is being”, you’ve left the field of fighting for representation long ago. Either you resonate with Dean Winchester as a character, or you don’t. There is no in between. The text may not be high visibility enough, but if you resonate with and accept the character, the canon, and yes, the text, it is what it is. That’s representative. It’s not high visibility. But it’s representative. Not every rep point is high visibility. And it’s fine to want better visibility. But circle back to the other elements. 

And make sure you’re actually in this for representation. Not personal vindication for feeding the trolls under the bridge.

I am DONE watching y’all steamroll people’s representation in the interest of trying to push a line that is your personal satisfaction line. I’m done watching you delete actual fucking people in your course to prove… *checks list* Let’s see, Wincest or Samwitch at this point, the latter being a small contingent and not the sum of its fandom but a few pretty big names.

Yes, deleting Eileen is problematic too because it is *literally* a representation issue for disability, which Bobo went to the fucking NON-WB/NON-CW/NON-SPN DISABILITY REPRESENTATION PANEL TO LISTEN TO AND PULL SHOSHANNA ASIDE. AND INVITE HER BACK TO THE SHOW.

You know, the MIDDLE AGED LGBT MALE AUTHOR that y’all seem to fucking conveniently forget that while bagging on how he chooses to depict his queer content within his given regulations. For… a middle aged LGBT male character. So I’m curious, how many of you hit the intersectional demographic of “LGBT, male, age range” – I’m curious. All three. Everybody raise your hands. Nobody?

Jesus christ y’all. Stop and realize that your fanon ideals have made perception of canon and text become outright deranged, fucking hell. And it’s making you destructive to the representation we DO get.

So here’s how this works: You all forget we ever talked about this, or I ever said this, or even how you truly initially felt in the moment. You forget. You go back to writing agenda-based posts about some alternative ship and talk in circles. You end up fifteen yards right of canon, but at some point, some noncommittal “and then Jack comes back” clear as day like even a fucking toddler could see it coming, or IDK, you celebrate calling Dukes of Hazard as the song when literally several HUNDRED people on my list got it because it was clear as day, or *whatever* to make it sound like *your read is even in the ballpark of accurate and viable*, only to end up… let’s face it. Even people pretending they don’t, and making every bronly-esque excuse in the world around Saileen, fucking see it. People who wanted something else will continue to buy into the narrative as it falls apart more and more meagerly, and pretend common sense and text aren’t clear enough, for personally motivated reasons -- but it IS. WHAT. IT. IS.

But at some point some noncommital very general estimate of where the story inevitably goes on like a grade school level of story understanding will be used to try to prop up the rest of a crumbling narrative while you still don’t even understand how some people understood Michael was coming, or that Chuck was going to be the big bad, but damn if you won’t argue nonsensical headcanons against surface level text and then trumpet victory because *checks notes* Jack got possessed which 99% of us saw coming, but sure, good for you!

Why?

BECAUSE Y’ALL DO IT ALL THE TIME.

[ladyanatui]

Ultimate Daiken Playlist, Pt. 2

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

This is the abridged version of my Spotify playlist for all things Daiken, organized from the start of 02 to...eventually.

Part 2 specifically covers from Ken finding Wormmon’s Digi-Tama to just after XV-mon and Stingmon Jogress-evolve into Paildramon.

TRIGGER WARNING: This post discusses depression, suicide, emotional abuse, and PTSD quite a lot. Take care of yourselves, folks!

Spotify Playlist

Click the song titles for YouTube links (apparently you can’t have more than five videos in a post), and otherwise, enjoy me rambling about Daiken.

One final note: Within the lyrics, I’ve emphasized meaningful words, such as night/nightmare, dark/darkness, miracle(s), kind/kindness, courage/bravery, friend/friendship, sun/star/light, fire/burn/ignite, angel(s), and words related to water/drowning.

“What If This Is All the Love You Ever Get?” by Snow Patrol

What if it hurts like hell? Then it'll hurt like hell Come on over, come on over here I'm in the ruins too I know the wreckage so well Come on over, come on over here What if this is all the love you ever get?

If “Tell Me Why” by Three Days Grace focuses on Wormmon’s death, this song focuses on Ken’s trip to the Village of Beginnings, where he finds Wormmon’s egg and brings him back. Because Ken is absolutely scared that he won’t be able to find Wormmon because, as far as he believes, he doesn’t deserve to have him back. Obviously, that’s not true, and the pair is reunited and Wormmon even evolves to Stingmon between episodes (unfortunately).

“Aftermath” by Adam Lambert

Wanna scream out, no more hiding Don't be afraid of what's inside Gonna tell ya you'll be alright In the aftermath

Alright, this song is probably pretty obvious. Ken has to deal with the aftermath of what happened to him/what he did, and so do the rest of the Chosen Children. The others are cleaning up the Digital World while he’s learning to be an eleven-year-old boy again and allowing his parents to get to know him for the first time, even while he still tries to figure out who he is.

“Demons” by The All-American Rejects

Am I even here? Is it still even me? Am I some of the man that I still claim to be? It's like losing a fight, I'm alone in the ring You come to fix me? Would you believe, could you believe you need me?

Obviously, it’s not that easy, though. And when we experience trauma the way Ken does, having his choices and very personality taken from him, there’s a long road of recovery.

“Sinking Man” by Of Monsters and Men

Cold, dark sea Wrapping its arms around me Pulling me down to the deep All eyes on me

I pushed you away Although I wished you could stay So many words left unsaid But I'm all out of breath

I associate this song especially with the scene Ken and Daisuke share by the canal, where Daisuke asks Ken to apologize and join the team. The moment apologizing is mentioned, Ken agrees--which, of course, has Daisuke over the moon--but then he asks if Daisuke thinks the others would forgive him, if a mere apology would make up for everything he did.

Although he’s certainly right about them not accepting an apology without action and follow-through to back it up, he’s also (surprise, surprise) self-sabotaging. And that’s even more apparent the moment Daisuke calls him their “partner.” Ken flips out and runs off pretty quickly.

“The Real You” by Three Days Grace

And it seems like I've known you forever I'll keep you safe for one more night Need you to know that it's all right I see the real you Even if you don't I do I do

And this is the other side of the coin. Daisuke’s perspective of that same scene/situation. Because Daisuke looked into the Digimental of Miracles and he knows that Ken is good. He knows it with all his freaking beautiful heart, and he’s willing to completely ignore the other Chosen Children when they outright tell him they don’t want Ken on the team. He doesn’t care what they say because he knows how wrong they are, and he knows how wrong Ken is about himself.

It’s pretty safe to say that Daisuke is the only person in all of 02 who sees Ken for who he really is, and he’s willing to put everything on the line, including the team morale and dynamics, to support Ken.

“Numb” by Linkin Park

Can't you see that you're smothering me? Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control 'Cause everything that you thought I would be Has fallen apart right in front of you Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow Every step that I take is another mistake to you Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow And every second I waste is more than I can take

What playlist about a character with depression would be complete without this? “Numb” is an iconic depression song, made even more so by Chester Bennington’s death, though Linkin Park has so many songs related to depression and mental health.

**Okay, it’s pretty safe to say the next six songs have to do with the two-part episode (episodes 26 & 27) revolving around Daisuke and Ken’s initial Jogress evolution. It’s kind of a big deal, so it’s a big deal in the playlist as well. The event functions as 02′s midpoint and centerpiece, so it’s one of the most emotionally charged and important scenes in the whole season. It really can’t be summed up in a song or two.**

“This Is How I Disappear” by My Chemical Romance

Can you hear me cry out to you? Words I thought I'd choke on figure out I'm really not so with you anymore I'm just a ghost So I can't hurt you anymore

This song in particular is about Ken’s suicidal ideation, the technical term for suicidal thoughts. Ken is what is sometimes called “gray suicidal” (since people often think of suicide in black and white terms, which isn’t accurate) because he has no specific plan to kill him, he’s never attempted suicide, and he doesn’t want to actually die.

And yet, he thinks about death a lot and that he deserves to die and that his death would help fix things because he can’t hurt anyone if he’s dead. He wants to punish himself, and he wants to carry all of the burden because he thinks he deserves it. (Obviously, this isn’t true, as Ken’s story arc is more about overcoming trauma than about redeeming himself--but you’d have a hard time convincing Ken of that fact.)

“Friend, Please” by Twenty One Pilots

Would you let me know your plans tonight 'Cause I just won't let go till we both see the light And I have nothing else left to say But I will listen to you all day, yes, I will

So basically, these next couple songs sum up the argument Daisuke and Ken have before their digivices light up for the Jogress evolution. First, Daisuke tries to convince Ken to let them help, that they’ll work together, but...

“Save Yourself” by My Darkest Days

I’m the devil’s son straight out of hell And you’re an angel with a haunted heart If you’re smart you’d run and protect yourself From the demon living in the dark There’s nothing to be gained cause I can never change And you can never understand my sickness

Oh, look, Ken is being stubborn and frustrating and self-sabotaging yet again. He legitimately thinks the others will be better off if they leave him alone, and he means that both because if he’s the only one inside the base when it explodes, they’ll survive and because if they keep their distance from him in regards to friendship, he can’t hurt them emotionally. And worst of all, he’s roped Wormmon/Stingmon in on this suicidal atonement thing. *smh*

Ken: I won’t let people suffer anymore because of what I did...no more. ... I want to restore the Digital World with my own hands, but things just keep getting worse. I can’t stand it! Stingmon (to XV-mon): If there’s any way I can atone for the sins I’ve committed... Ken: It doesn’t matter what happens to me! Right now, I have to stop this reactor.

Bonus points for references to angels and hearts, though since this is from Ken’s perspective, Daisuke would be the “angel with a haunted heart.” Not sure that imagery works well, but the rest of it does.

“Die for You” by Starset

Some day when galaxies collide We'll be lost on different skies I will send my rocket ship to find you Because I know you're lost when you run away Into the same black holes and black mistakes Taking all my will just to run alone Until I bring you home

And what’s Daisuke’s reaction to Ken being stubborn and stupid? Bitch-slap him! He fucking needs it. (That’s everyone’s solution in this show, I swear.) And Daisuke isn’t going to let him get away with that shit. He yells and shouts and berates Ken until he finally looks at it from someone else’s perspective:

Daisuke: You idiot! *slap* How can you say that? Daisuke: Think of who would be sad if you were gone. If I let you go now and you never come back, I’ll regret it forever. So I won’t let you go! Daisuke: You may be okay with it, but I’m not. Ken: Motomiya... Daisuke: Live! Daisuke: If you die now, you won’t be able to accomplish anything. I don’t want that. Ken: I don’t want that either. There are still many things I must do. Ken: Besides, I don’t want to make my family sad anymore...

Note: I cut out XV-mon’s lines to Stingmon here because Daisuke’s words are the important part of this conversation, but I separated Daisuke’s lines where XV-mon spoke for clarity.

“Divide” by Bastille

Why would we divide when we could come together? Just bodies that collide, lost and found each other So don't, don't leave me alone Don't leave me alone, don't leave me alone Why would we divide when we could come together?

It’s only after that, after they understand each other on a monumental level, that they are able to Jogress evolve. And boy is that an experience. No other Jogress partners (except maybe Taichi and Yamato) have this intense of an experience with Jogress evolution, none have their bond.

And quite frankly, this song is about as poorly veiled a hint at sex as Jogress evolution is. Just listen to it. You’ll see.

But this song also shows Ken’s hesitation when it comes to Jogress. They work so well together, they’re completely in sync, they understand each other, but he’s definitely not ready to join the team or be Daisuke’s partner.

“Heartlines” by Florence + The Machine

Your heart is the only place that I call home Can I be returned, you can You can, we can

Just keep following The heartlines on your hand

Okay, and last one about the Jogress evolution! This one should be pretty damn obvious too: When Daisuke and Ken have their initial Jogress, one of the most notable things that makes it different from all others’ Jogress experiences is the fact that they can feel/hear each other’s heartbeats.

Soul fucking mates.

“Pieces” by Sum 41

This place is so empty My thoughts are so tempting I don't know how it got so bad Sometimes it's so crazy that nothing can save me But it's the only thing that I have

But when everything is over and Daisuke explains exactly how the experience was for him (“When our Digimon combined, our thoughts and feelings flowed through each of our bodies. Our hearts beating as one…it was an amazing feeling of unity! That’s when I knew we were partners.”), Ken panics and tells him, “I’m qualified to be your partner yet,” and walks away before Daisuke really has the chance to process what happened. Despite Daisuke’s words before they Jogress-evolved, Ken is still determined to redeem himself before allowing himself to join the team.

“Run” by Snow Patrol

Light up, light up As if you have a choice Even if you cannot hear my voice I'll be right beside you, dear

Of course, that would require Daisuke to know how to take no for an answer. Even if Ken isn’t going to listen to him and join the team, he still includes him as much as he can, and he is determined to stick by Ken’s side even if he doesn’t want him there.

And it may look to an outsider like Daisuke isn’t respecting Ken’s wishes, which yeah, that’s technically true. But by this time, Daisuke understands Ken better than anyone, save Wormmon, and while Daisuke may not respect Ken’s wishes, he respects Ken more than Ken respects himself. More than anything, he wants to help Ken, and he will be there for Ken to lean on if he ever needs to.

“Not Today” by Twenty One Pilots

Heard you say, "Not today" Tore the curtains down, windows open now, make a sound Heard your voice, "There's no choice" Tore the curtains down, windows open now, make a noise

I'm, I'm out of my mind, I'm not seeing things right I waste all this time trying to run from you But I'm, I'm out of my mind

To an extent, it is because of Daisuke’s forwardness that Ken keeps running away, as Hikari says on multiple occasions. He keeps trying to run away from Daisuke, from the other Chosen Children, but for some reason (*cough* Daisuke *cough*), it doesn’t seem to stick.

“Arch Drive Goodbye” by Eve 6

Wanna keep you from breakin' Wanna keep you from shakin' Wanna keep you from keepin' You down Wanna keep you from sinkin' Wanna keep you from drinkin' Sometimes Wanna keep you from keepin' You down

Ringing in my head All the things you've said All the things you've done I wish I could compromise But there's only one way to go And I'm going alone I'm going alone

I see this song as a sort of duet. There are sections/lines that would be from Daisuke’s perspective (the first quote, though obviously ignore the line about drinking--they’re eleven) and sections that would be from Ken’s (the second quote). Daisuke wants to help him so badly, but Ken is still so determined not to need help and to go it alone.

“Someone to Save You” by OneRepublic

All right Sit down and spill your heart

Let’s start from the very start 'Cause I can see by your eyes You're wasted Your energy comes and goes You taking your time, you know Nothing can change what happened

Not that Daisuke will listen to that, right? No matter how much Ken insists he can go it alone, Daisuke is always there to be supportive. He’s just as determined to help Ken as Ken is to refuse help. Actually, no, Daisuke is way more determined. He will always, above all else, persevere.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

[joaquinwhorres]

Definitions (Steve Harrington x Hargrove!Reader)

Summary: Much like your brother, you hate Steve Harrington. Which makes being paired up with him for a group project that much more intolerable. Especially with his stupid voice and hair and sunglasses and soft lips.  

Based on Request: ok but imagine that billy from stranger things has a twin sister and she is sneaking around behind billy’s back with steve and one night steve comes in through her window and while they are fooling around they almost get caught by billy and steve has to hide under the bed. maybe steve’s glasses are on the nightstand and billy gets suspicious because they look familiar. idk i love your writing and knew that you could do justice to this prompt that has been running through my head

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Hargrove!Reader

Word Count: 4,624

Author’s Note: This is definitely not what the requester had in mind (sorry about that!) but hopefully you love the story nonetheless. It starts off angsty for sure, but it gets increasingly fluffy and cute as we go, so enjoy :)

Warnings: Language. Fighting. Mentions of "adult magazines." Heated kissing. Angst. Fluff.

It started the way most momentous events in your life did: with an argument.

In some ways, this argument had been brewing ever since Mrs. Hanson paired you up with Steve Harrington for the Family Tree Project. Not only had she NOT paired you with Bobby Mueller, but she put you right in the middle of Steve and your brother's pissing match. Which was great.

You had determined early on not to take sides in the matter. Even though Billy had spent the whole first week of school ranting about all of the ways Steve was a dickhead who needed to be taken down a peg, you had kept your mouth shut. You continued to keep your mouth shut through Billy's commentary on the Nancy/Steve split. And you were still silent when Steve came to school bloodied and bruised in the same week that a slightly bruised Billy had wobbled in the door with a glaring Max at 3 am in the morning. Because all things considered, Steve seemed pretty innocuous, especially compared to other high school boys.

But at this current moment, you could no longer keep your mouth shut. In fact, it was all you could do to keep yourself from screaming in Steve Harrington's face at the top of your lungs.

"Can you shut up for five fucking seconds about Billy?" You ran your fingers through your hair, clutching it tightly to keep yourself from strangling him with your bare hands. You paced back and forth around your room, trying to reign yourself in.

"I'm just saying that he is not touching our baby," Steve snipped, crossing his arms.

"He's my brother," you released your hands and scooped up a marker from the floor, chucking it at Steve. He ducked away, and the marker smacked against his arm. "Can you cut the dick measuring contest and recognize how weird it would be if my twin brother didn't have some type of meaningful role in our baby's life!"

You had begun arguing over the second question on the assignment sheet:

Congratulations! You and your partner have recently discovered you are having a baby, which means it's time to think about how your bundle of joy will fit into your family. For this project, you and your partner are going to develop a family tree that goes back three generations from your baby. It should include the following information: 1. How is each person related to you/your partner? To your child? 2. What role do you want each person to have in your child's life? 3. What would you like your child to call each person on your tree? 4.What will you name your baby? 5. What does family mean to you?

You thought Billy would be a good on-call babysitter. He was protective and loyal, and as the uncle to your imaginary baby, Billy would want to step up. You had tried raising these points to prevent Dustin Henderson—the middle school boy that Max hung out with—from becoming the designated babysitter. The last thing you expected–although, honestly, the fact that you didn't expect it was on you–was for Steve to launch into "99 Reasons Billy Hargrove is a Douchebag Who Shouldn't Be Allowed Near Children." Sure, you knew that Billy was a huge ass to Steve. Billy was an ass to everybody. But blood was different. And this imaginary baby was Billy's blood. Not Dustin Henderson's.

"Yeah, ok, you want to talk about how siblings should have a large role?" Steve started, and you sucked in a breath, already having a gut feeling as to where this was going. Straight back to the fight you had yesterday. "What about Max?"

"What about her?"

"She's your sister, and you haven't even put her on the tree," Steve gestured at the pitiful poster which lay on the floor next to him. You looked over at it. To be fair, there was hardly anything on the tree. The two of you couldn't stop arguing over things long enough to put people on. So far, it had the two of you, your imaginary baby, Steve's parents and grandparents, your mom, and Billy. Max and Susan were not there. Neither was your father.

"I'm getting to her," you argued back, defensively. Steve snatched up one of the markers that you'd already thrown at him, uncapping it and extending the thick black line that connected you and Billy. A bubbling feeling of panic rose in your chest.

"That's not the right line!" you cried out, reaching forward to stop him, and he looked up at you, eyes blazing.

"What kind of line should I put then?" His words came out clipped and cold.

"I–I don't know," you stuttered. "But not that one. She's not my sister."

"Who is she then?" Steve's lips were curled in what was almost a snarl.

"She's my..." you trailed off, thinking about it. "She's my Max." Steve scoffed and turned away.

"Well what do you want me to say?!" you snapped.

"She's your sister! Jesus, Y/N. It's not that hard."

It was so easy for other people to define family. They had their mom and dad and brothers and sisters and cousins. You had your father, who you refused to call “Dad” because he didn't act like what you thought a dad should act like, and then your step-mom who was very step-mom-y. After them, there was your  brother, who was technically your twin but more like a brother, and your Max. She was so much more than your step-sister, but she hadn't grown up with you and Billy. She didn't get it sometimes. She wasn't quite your sister yet. She was in-between. And if assholes like Steve didn't get that, that was his problem not yours.

"Fine. If you want to stick her into that hole, then go for it," you answered, coldly. "And then get the hell out of my house."

Steve finished the line, drawing another branch down and putting Max's name underneath it. He threw the marker at the floor, flicked his sunglasses over his eyes, and then left your room, slamming the door behind him.

You were fighting again.

This was hardly out of the usual. You'd already been banned from working together in the school library and the public library. Now you had to drive across town to Steve's house just to finish this stupid project. You had only made it to question three. What would you like your child to call each person on your tree?

Steve had suggested that the baby call his dad Grandpa Asshole.

You asked if Steve was feeling bitter because his dad found and burned his porn stash.

Twenty minutes later and you were, once more, throwing things at Steve as he bit out insults. "You rich kids always think you have it bad," you yelled, hurling a wadded up t-shirt at him. It hit his chest and fell down to his feet.  "You think your parents are so mean to you because they say no. Dad's an asshole because he won't buy you beer. Mom's a bitch because you can't go out until you finish your homework. What a fucking joke."

"Shut up!" Steve hissed.

"No, you should know the truth, you–" you started back, but he cut you off.

"You don't have a monopoly on shitty parents."

"I didn't say I did. I'm just saying, you don't–"

"You don't know shit about my parents. Ok? I don't know shit about my parents. Look around, where the fuck are they?" Steve held out his hands, looking around the room. "I haven't seen them for longer than four days at a time in two months. They're always on a business trip. Business trip after business trip. And when they are here, they don't even notice that I am. So yeah, maybe my dad's not breathing down my neck. Maybe he doesn't yell or shout or whatever at me, but don't make it seem like him being able to buy me a car makes up for the fact that he bought it a week after my birthday passed."

You went silent as you stared at Steve. For the first time, you looked at him–really looked at him. You took in his wild hair, his clenched fists, and the way his chest heaved up and down whenever he fought with you. How his face never looked angry just cold and hard. You had noticed the way he looked at your family tree with disgust and assumed that it was because he saw Billy's name on it. You didn't think it was because, like you, he couldn't stand the fact that there were more lies written on it than truths.

You opened your mouth, and Steve cut you off.

"I think you should go home," Steve said, coolly.

You gave a single nod, turned on your heel, and walked out his door, letting it click quietly shut behind you.

At this point, you'd rather take the F than have to spend another minute alone with Steve. Even though the project was due tomorrow, it seemed  unbearable to be in the same room as him. His voice. His hair. The fact that he always showed up wearing those stupid Wayfarers. The way he tapped the end of the marker against his mouth when he was thinking. You couldn't wait to be done with this project. You couldn't wait to be done with Steve Harrington.

"Can you stop that?" you snapped, breaking the silence of the room. Steve paused the tapping of his marker and looked over at you.

"What?" The word was breathed out in an exasperated sigh. It did nothing to assuage your urge to throttle him.

"The thing with the marker." You gestured at him. "It's annoying and distracting."

He rolled his eyes, and your whole body tensed up.

"And stop rolling your eyes at me," you added.

"Anything else? Maybe breathing?"

"If you could manage it."

Steve sighed again, but before you could add it to the list of things he should stop doing, he spoke. "Look, we have one more day. Let's just…get through it. Ok?"

"Ok," you mimicked back in a high-pitched voice. It was as if you were back in middle school when it came to him.

The two of you returned to your uncomfortable silence, him finishing up with the agreed upon definition of family and you pasting pictures of your family members to the poster. It was when you were gluing on Max’s picture that you realized you–or rather, Steve–had left out her last name from the poster. You looked around your spot for a marker and found the pile next to Steve. You couldn't imagine why.  Silently, you reached across Steve, taking hold of one.

"What are you doing?" Steve paused, looking at you as you pulled back, marker in hand.

You waved it in his face. "I forgot something, jeez."

"You're just, on me," Steve said.

"Sorry," you held up your hands in defense.

"Just, let's give each other some space, ok?"

"Ok," you snapped back, scooting a foot away from Steve.

You finished putting Max's name on the poster and the last of the pictures as Steve finished the definition.

"We're done," you announced, sitting back on your heels.

"Yeah," Steve ran his hands through his hair sighing. "Thank goodness."

The two of you looked over the poster, checking your various links, pictures, and explanations. Your household of five, plus your mom in California. Steve's household of three. Your grandparents and Steve's grandparents. All of these people on your tree that was supposed to be a who's who for your baby, and yet, you only gave a shit about three of the people on here.

You started to giggle.

"What?" Steve looked over at you.

"It's just…" you gestured at the poster. "This is bullshit."

Steve's face went white. "What?"

"Like, why would you put your dad on here if he's an asshole? And like, my father’s here? Why make them a part of this imaginary family if we get to choose who goes on? 'Cause, like, Dustin Henderson is clearly more family to you than anyone else, but where is he? And Max is listed as my sister. My blood sister. Lumped in with the fuckup part of the family." You laughed harder. "This is bullshit."

"It's not bullshit," Steve said, quietly.

"It really is." You were wiping tears from your eyes. "We can't even spend five minutes together without arguing, and in this tree, somehow we're together having a baby?"

"Well, maybe if you wouldn't jump down my throat about everything…"

"See!" you said, gesturing to him before bending over in hysterics.

"Then fine, fix it," Steve said, throwing a marker at you. It lightly hit you in the back before rolling and falling down next to you. You stopped laughing and stared up at him. In all of your fights over the past couple of weeks, Steve had stood still, shooting off cold remarks to whatever you said. He had never thrown anything back.

Steve opened his mouth to say something and then stopped.

You couldn't be sure who moved first, but in the next moment, the two of you had flung yourselves at each other, and it was a clashing of teeth and tongues and it was a flurry of limbs and it was terrible and wonderful all at once. You stopped, pulling back and gasping.

"What–"

Steve pulled you back in, and this time it was better. It was slower for one thing, allowing you time to process just what was happening. Steve held your face with one hand as the other ran down along your side before resting on your hip. He leaned forward, and you fell back onto the floor, next to the poster, neither of you breaking the kiss. And the kiss. It was as if he couldn't breathe unless he was stealing the air from your lungs. Asshole. You pulled him even closer to you. You'd let him have this one.

Mrs. Hanson placed the poster on top of yours and Steve's desks. You looked over the revised family tree, scouring it for the little red letter. Your eyes darted from Grandpa Asshole to the missing space where your father should have been. You checked next to the godfather Dustin Henderson and designated babysitter Billy. It wasn't even next to your baby's aunt Max.

Instead, it was in between you and Steve, over top of the baby's head. C.

You'd take it.

You looked up at Steve and he raised his eyebrows at you. "Not bad, Hargrove."

"Shut up, Harrington. I'd have done better by myself," It was difficult to keep the smile from your lips with the way he was smirking at you and everything.

"Yeah, ok," Steve said with a roll of his eyes as he looked up front, presumably trying to take in whatever it was Mrs. Hanson was saying to the class. The bell rang, and the two of you shot up from your desks, the students around you snickering. It was the same after every class since the two of you had been assigned to one another. The minute you were free, the two of you sprang away from each other to be anywhere else. You quickly rolled up your poster to stuff it in your bag, and Steve was already out the door. You followed his example, walking with purpose, but careful not to jog down the halls too fast. A hand grabbed your arm and pulled you sharply through a door so that you were alone in the girl's bathroom with Steve Harrington. You were promptly pushed up against the wall with Steve's lips on yours. You dropped your books, wrapping your arms around Steve's neck and pulling him closer to you. You stayed like this for a minute, maybe two until it was impossible to breathe.

Steve was the one who broke the kiss first. "So, you'd do better without me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Like that's even a question," you rolled your eyes, pressing your lips firmly to his once more. Steve smiled against your lips and let you have this one.

"I'm taking Max to the arcade," you announced, grabbing the keys to Billy's Camaro.

Billy dropped his weights and looked at you. "What's with you being good older sister all of the sudden?" he asked, wiping the sweat from his brow.

"I take her to the arcade once and suddenly I'm a saint? Somebody let Santa know I'm changing lists this year." You turned away from him and towards the door.

"You've been driving her around town all week," Billy said, following you to the door. "I'm beginning to think you're up to something."

"Yes, I'm secretly becoming a bigger nerd than Max. Pretty soon you'll be the only relatively cool person in the family.” You rolled your eyes. "Is it so bad that I just don't want to be in this fucking house? Unlike you, I don't have a new date every night that gets me out," you shrugged your coat on, sending Max through the door ahead of you.

"I've seen Harrington looking at you," Billy called out, and you turned to face him over your shoulder, watching as he smirked as if he'd won something.

"Don't be an asshole," you sighed, before slamming the door closed behind you.

You climbed into the car with Max. She looked over at you quietly, her eyes scanning you up and down.

"Are you also going to ask me why I'm being a nice person?" you asked without bothering to look at her as you whipped out of the parking spot.

"No," Max scoffed. She went back to looking out the window. "You're usually nice."

"Don't let anyone hear you say that," you quipped, turning onto the next road.

"Steve has been looking at you," Max commented. Your head whipped over to her, and her eyes grew wide, as she looked at the road. Realizing you were pulling a Billy, you returned your gaze to the street. Not that there were any cars or anything anyway. "Do you guys like each other or something?"

"Don't be crazy."

"I was just asking," Max shrugged, leaning against the window. "You don't fight that much anymore."

"We still fight," you shook your head. You made sure of it. Every now and then you called out Steve's idiocy in front of the entire class. Sometimes you bumped shoulders with him and made sure to tell him off about it. And if you were ever in front of the kids together, you made sure to tell Max not to spend too much time with Steve or else he'd rub off on her, and she still had a decent personality.

Although, honestly, if Steve did rub off on Max, it'd probably do her some good.

You pulled into the driveway of the arcade. "How long do you think you'll be?" you asked.

"I don't know, like a couple of hours," Max shrugged.

You nodded. "Ok, I'll be back in two hours. If you need me to pick you up sooner or later, just use their phone to let me know."

"Ok," Max said, climbing out of the car and slamming it closed behind her. Force of habit.

You backed out of your parking spot, and pulled around to the back of the building, parking next to a familiar maroon BMW. You climbed out of your car and right into the backseat of the BMW.

"Come here often?" Steve asked from the other side of the backseat.

"Shut up," you shook your head, reaching for him. He met you halfway, grinning against your lips.

There were three light taps on your window. You looked up at the clock. 9:52. A little early, but you weren't complaining. You walked over to the window and pulled it up. Steve leaned on the frame, grinning.

"You look like an idiot," you said, backing away so he could climb into your room. Steve pulled himself through the window without even stumbling anymore. It had helped when you moved your hamper to your closet and worked to keep that area decidedly clear.

"What?" Steve asked, shutting the window behind him.

"Why are you wearing sunglasses at ten o'clock at night?" you asked, a small smile on your lips as you shook your head.

"I thought you liked my sunglasses," Steve said, coming closer to you, his hands circling around your waist.

"Not at night," you reached up, pulling the sunglasses off of his face, and putting them on your nightstand behind you.

"You don't think they make me look cool?" Steve asked, bending his head towards you.

"Nothing can make you look cool," you quipped back, smiling as he kissed you. Steve walked you back towards the bed and you let yourself fall down onto it, Steve coming with you and hovering over you. Neither of you lost your smiles. Your hands tangled in Steve's hair, tugging lightly at it in the way you'd come to know that he loved.

"Y/N," Steve groaned against your lips.

"Shh," you hushed. "Max is home."

He nodded, moving his lips from yours and trailing his kisses along your jaw and down your neck. His lips latched onto the spot on your neck that made your toes curled. You sucked in a breath and you could feel his smile against your skin. It was almost so distracting that you didn't notice his other hand sneaking its way up underneath your shirt. You pulled lightly at his hair again, and you heard the front door of the house bang open.

Steve and you both jumped, causing you to bang your head into his.

"Fuck!" "Ow!"

The door slammed closed which meant it wasn't your father, Susan softly cleaning up in his wake. It was Billy. And if Billy was coming home in a mood, it meant he was coming straight for you.

"Fuck," you swore again, and  you looked at the disheveled Steve Harrington that was currently in your bed. Steve caught your panicked look and he looked at the window and then back to you. You shook your head. No time. You pushed him out of your bed, and he landed with a loud thump. You looked down at Steve, gesturing as if you were going to throttle him. He nodded and rolled under your bed. You looked around the room for any type of distraction at all and found your history textbook by your bed. You were reaching to grab it when your door was flung open.

"What the hell are you doing?" Billy asked, and you looked up at him, your fingertips resting on your book.

"I dropped my textbook." Your words came out surprisingly even if a little breathy. Billy raised his eyebrows at you.

"What you're doing homework on the weekends now?"

"Well, I don't think my sports scholarship is going through, so…" you shrugged, picking up the textbook and propping it back on your pillow. You opened the book and flipped through a couple of pages, as if looking for your spot.

"Not hard to get a sports scholarship in this fucking town," Billy said, sinking into your desk chair and lighting a cigarette. You wrinkled your nose at the smell of smoke, but had long given up asking Billy to stop smoking in your room. Billy took a long drag of his cigarette and then breathed the smoke out, letting it spiral away from him. "I hate this place."

You nodded, looking down at your history textbook and letting your eyes skim over the words. "It's not that bad." You weren't sure what led you to say it, but once the sentence left your mouth, you didn't even want to take it back.

"Not that bad," Billy repeated, chuckling. "The girls are cows. The boys are losers. There's more freaks and geeks here than the town knows what to do with. It's not home."

You shrugged. "It could be."

"What?" Billy used the word like a whip, but rather than stinging you as it might have a few weeks ago, instead it led you to just put a finger in your book and look up at him.

"It's not that bad here. Home also had losers and freaks and cows. They were just more tan," you shrugged.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Billy asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Nothing. I'm just saying, home's not like a specific place. It's like any place that meets a specific definition."

"That doesn't even make sense," Billy stood up from the chair looking over at you. You just shrugged. His eyes fell from your face, stuffed in your history book to the sunglasses on your end table.

"Whose glasses are those?" he asked. Your heart thudded against your chest, but you took a breath and looked over, casually from your book.

"They're mine."

"I didn't know you owned Wayfarers," Billy cocked his head lightly, and his words came out almost too sweetly. That was his tell. He was looking for a fight.

"You've been a bit busy with your girlfriends to really notice anything about what's happening at home," your voice mirrored his.

He let out a low chuckle. "I've noticed you driving Max to the arcade and the Wheelers and anywhere you want to go. Noticed you've been coming to more of my basketball games. Noticed the way you and Harrington always seem to be in the same place at the same time. And now I'm noticing that your sunglasses look a lot like Harrington's."

"Wow, you truly are obsessed with him. If I didn't know better, I'd think you had a little crush," you mimicked, and Billy snarled at you.

"Don't fucking start with me, Y/N," he snapped, pointing a finger at you. "Are you fucking him?"

"Oh my goodness," you exploded, slamming your textbook closed. "Are you serious?"

"Come on, you can tell me. Is Harrington your little boyfriend?"

"No," you argued back, your heartbeat skyrocketing. You and Steve hadn't discussed what you were. After all of your arguing about labels and definitions when it came to the party, it seemed like shooting yourselves in the foot to bring it up and ruin a good thing.

"Your boy toy, then?" Billy charged.

"No," you bit back. He was more than just a toy to you, and you could tell by the way he looked at you sometimes that you were more than that to him too.

"Or maybe he's just your schoolgirl crush?"

"No!" You were way past the realm of crushes with Steve. "Look, Harrington's just my Harrington. That's it."

Billy scoffed, rolling his eyes "Your Harrington, of course." He turned and walked towards the door, pausing at it. "Just don't bring him around here," he warned. He looked from you down to the book on your bed. "And stop reading your history textbook. It's fucking weird."

He closed the door with a slam behind him. Another slam meant that he was locked away in his room for the night.

You were quiet as Steve climbed out from underneath your bed. He sat down on your bed next to you.

"So," Steve said, quietly, slowly. He turned his head to look over at you. "I'm your Harrington?"

You looked over at him, and saw the grin on his lips, and you could tell he was remembering your first fight.

"More like my Steve."

"Does that make you my Y/N?" he asked, and you nodded, a small smile growing across your own face.

"Yeah, I'm yours," you smiled, meeting him for a kiss.

Tags: @oomylifeiseternalsufferingoo @katethemandrake @coolyoungbouquetdestinylove @stay-wokke@morgandakotaq @panda0192 @dontneedbio logytoadopt @myteenwolf-world @eggshapeddank @spacedoutsher @disneykidafi @lemonchapstick @pity-mee @bands-and-shietz

[curestardust]

if you want: a hot mess of a story and world building but dressed in TRIGGER’s usual style so if you can handle that then dunno go ahead

If you care about a plot that makes sense, world building that makes sense or any interesting character development then BNA is *not* for you.

Based on the cover and the fact that TRIGGER was behind the development of this anime kind of raises expectations right off the bat which is just going to lead to an even more disappointing experience than if this was made by any other lesser known studio. I’ve been trying to figure out how to write this review because every single problem I’ve had with it was so atricous and downright offensively stupid that this would turn into a 5 page long essay so I’ll try to shorten this by going bullet point style.

I’m going to give a short introduction to BNA’s story. In this world there are Beastman, who’re a mix of animal and human but not in BNHA kind of way. No, they have human forms and can morph into antromomrphic looking animals at will. The anime stars a girl named Michiru who we see escaping from anti-beastman maniacs into Animacity which is supposed to be a safe haven for Beastman. However, Michiru isn’t technically one. Beastman are born as one but Michiru suddenly morphed into a half-Tanuki despite being human. After making it to Animacity she meets a wolf Beastman called Shirou and these 2 will be the main focus on the show.

First, the few things I liked. The OP, ED and OST to the show is very nice. The frantic animation in high intensity scenes that is TRIGGER’s specialty is more-or-less what you’d expect. The designs of the main cast are also very distinct and well-made.

Okay now, *cracks knuckles* the BAD.

 - Everything I praised above has flaws. The ED, while very nice, is actually present in the story and is used WAY too often, like the artist paid them to shoehorn it once an episode. It’s supposed to envoke the feelings of Michiru while she was a human girl, happy and carefree but the more its used, the more it uses its effectiveness. The action scenes are way too short and the colours of the anime are very, very dull.

Character Development

 - It’s almost nonexistent and when they try to show it, it’s in the most basic way of literally just confronting someone and saying how your feelings changed. But we very rarely if ever actually see them act on these feelings. All characters feel the same from beginning to end besides Michiru who does a complete 180 at the end of the anime with the show completely chucking out the conflicts of her character that not only were present but almost drove the entire show. Shirou is the same, he maybe becomes more mellow by the end but that’s about it. Michiru and Shirou’s conflicting personalities and beliefs are also presented as if they are important but is killed by the 2 not having any actual chemistry.

Plot

 - You know who the main villain is going to be from the second they show them. The show has absolutely no nuance to it, if you pay attention everything is very obvious which makes the characters’ actions even more infuriating. The pacing is also all over the place with a lot of “action sequences” feeling completely unnecessary and ending in the same way (you can count on Michiru getting captured 9 times out of 10). Multiple plot threads introduced that literally could’ve been explored throughout the whole anime get dropped in 1 episode and never come up again. There are plot holes everywhere.

World Building

- Probably one of the worst I’ve ever seen. THIS section could be an essay on its own. The “scientific” explanation for Beastman existing makes no sense at all, nor the thing that is randomly revealed in the ending while we’ve never seen it happen before. They say Beastman tried to stay away from human civilizations but then show Egyptian Gods, implying that those were Beastman. They also say that for most of history Beastman and humans lived in peace. We also see Beastman just chilling among humans from flashbacks that couldn’t have been from more than 50 years ago. And yet, today, they’re almost hunted down. Why? What the fuck happened? General “racism” against Beastman could be commonplace but for a whole society to switch from “meh who cares” to “ewww, they nasty, make them get out” doesn’t happen for no reason. There’s usually a bigger event that is blamed on that minority and makes others turn on all of them (many real life examples of this) but we never find out what it could’ve been. Animacity is also a completely mismanaged, almost dystopian place to live. They have a police force but when 2 Beastman get into an argument let them fight because in this society “the strong win”. They have gangs running basically everything in the “background” and while one is some kind of Beastman Mafia the other we see is NEVER explained and it’s probably what pissed me off the most. There’s a gang of only female Beastman who’re involved in Beastman-trafficking!!! And in the end of the EP the boss lady tells Michiru that she will learn how difficult it is to live in Beastman society as a female but we NEVER. EVER. SEE. IT!!! Michiru is a female herself but she never experiences any kind of sexism and I still don’t understand what in the flying fuck that plot thread was about. In this government funded small city there’s also a slum, where the poor live. This city is 10 years old. TEN! You’re telling me they didn’t make an effort to help out the poor population who’re literally drinking waste water?? Swindling, stealing, and literal betting on Beastman killing each other during “sports games” are just there. They just fucking exist. Under the literal nose of the police force and the governor but apparently nobody has tried to do anything against any of this before the anime started. 

Okay, that’s all I can take. I’m sure I could go on and on and on and on about the hot mess that is the “””world building””” but there’s no point. If you don’t care about things making sense in an anime then go ahead, maybe you’ll find a character you like or get a kick out of the visuals. For me? Nope. 

[3/10] (x)

Recommend: HELL Yeah! | Yes | Eh??? | Nope | There was actual money spent on this

[amynchan]

Concerning my post from the other day:

TL;DR:  Sorry for pissing you all off and assuming you had no idea what you were getting yourselves into.

That being said, I do have more to say, but if you were just looking for my apology and wanna bow out, I’m putting it under a read more so you can skip it more easily.

I’m not gonna lie, I was really ticked off by a bit of the response to what I had to say.  My point of view was that Thomas was attempting to turn a stereotype on its head, a ‘don’t judge a book by it’s cover’ kind of deal and y’all blew it out of the water.  Before you call me an idiot for thinking that, here’s what I saw:

me: *opens new ml comic*

me: *immediately closes ml comic*

What went through my head was “...you didn’t even read the comic?  You saw this and got pissed off?  I mean, I can get it, but sheesh, not even a chance at seeing what he was trying to do or if this was intentional...”

Next reblog was an image that said Fucking Yikes in pretty font

What went through my head was “...aaaand now it’s a bandwagon.  Great.  Oh well, mob mentality...  I don’t think they’ll take it too far.”

Next was a gif of a woman who looked utterly disgusted.

Which, fine.  I kind of got the idea that based on these three images, everyone was immediately choosing to boycott the whole comic without seeing where he was going with it.  Which, hello, screams kinda dumb to me, but whatever.  It’s your cause and you’ll fight for it how you want.  Maybe some of you even read the comic, who knows.  Best not deal with it since my opinion’s probably gonna get people pissed off at me.

hold up… this is the OFFICIAL comic book?

????????????

what in the actual racist hell?? i saw a thumbnail of this on youtube and just assumed it was some alt-right trolling nonsense, not that it was aN ACTUAL SANCTIONED RELEASE????

who would i go to if i wanted to complain about this?

My thoughts:  Hey, look, someone’s questioning this and deciding to take matters into their own hands.  Maybe they’ll read the comic and if they find something they still dissent with, they’ll take it up with the right people.  If not, then cool.  Either way, hope this ends up ok.

Next comes a snapshot of the infamous conversation between fan and Thomas Austruc

My thoughts:  ...what the hell did you just do.  You just completely messed up any credibility/validity you ever had!  Did you go in there for a debate at all?  Did you think about his side of events before expressing your own?  Did you have a defense, an offense, or even anything to defend against this very obvious question!!?

Simultaneously:  Thomas has a point.  If they haven’t read it, they don’t know the context, don’t know what he was going for, and they kind of landed themselves flat on their face with their ignorance.

Also:  ...*face palms*  You guys...  just lost....  everything...

“good to know he really cares” I say as I roll my eyes

My thoughts:  You guys cannot be freaking serious.

This is the same guy who wanted to include all sorts of diversity in ML, who worked hard for that and you guys were all for that, but after this and his (very freaking PREDICTABLE!!!) question, y’all instantly turn your burners on high and flame the hell outta him.  I mean, what the hell?

But it doesn’t end there.

Because I made a stand for what I thought--something I just don’t do because I know people hate my way of thinking because it’s different and I still work through it myself sometimes--I got mixed feedback.

I’ll start with the good stuff.  I got a single solitary ask, telling me that I was being unfair to the people who were offended.  That they had valid concerns, but I wasn’t told what those were.  I thought that those valid concerns were more of the same of what I had been talking about, so that’s what I went with.  Spoiler:  without clarification, people will just keep going on the same branch.

So that happened, and to the questioner’s credit, she was extremely straightforward and polite.  A combo I rarely see, so good on her.

I actually didn’t see her response until my 15 minute break at work (which happened a few hours later), so I didn’t have the chance to respond, and I’m quite frankly glad I was.  Because it ticked me off.  It ticked me off because there were pieces of information that I didn’t know, and Thomas sure as hell wouldn’t know based on the fact that someone with NO BACKGROUND KNOWLEDGE OF THE COMIC went to argue with him about it.

Instead of “Hey, I haven’t read this comic, but I saw these pictures and am super offended!”, we could have had a discourse like “Hey, I read your comic and while I get your intention, your execution of this idea came off as really offensive.”  It’s a night and day difference!  We have one who is about to be schooled and we have one who is ready to do schooling!  Like..  what the heck, guys!?  Debate teams don’t just wake up and debate, debate teams gear up for a fight, anticipate counter arguments, and then employ them!  And that’s how they win a freaking debate!

Another thing that ticked me off was the complete disregard of one of my own points (the “wait and see” tactic), because she thought it was kinda stupid, citing an adult literally beating a child as an example.  Yeah, that would be instantaneous, but I’ve been in too many situations where I’ve been burned, burned others, or set literally everything on fire because I didn’t ‘wait and see’.  I’ve gotten in trouble, accidentally ruined relationships, and burned bridges so fast because of it that now it’s just common sense to wait and see.  So that was more of a personal (yet unintentional, I’m sure) insult.  That argument just went out the window for me based on recent events and personal experience.

The only objective argument I found was the explanation of “Ghetto Blaster” (which I’d assumed to be another stereotype to be subverted) as well as the addition of the beanie and dollar sign necklace, neither of which I’d placed as out-of-place.  I’d figured it was part of a warm welcome, like ‘make her feel like she’s at home’ kinda thing.  But the objective points made about those, how they were out of place and too much, were valid points towards their argument.  And that is the ONLY reason why I was able to take a breath and try to see it from a perspective I literally knew nothing about.

The slap about Thomas failing the test, though, ticked me off.  Because in terms of debate, so did the fans.  His question was valid from the point of view I was coming from, as well as his response.  Once you arm yourself with more information and context, then argue with him on a level playing field.  Doing so before is just an insult.  You’re assuming that you hold all the cards and that you know everything when you obviously don’t. You don’t have all the evidence, you don’t have the shots.  All you’ve got is three images you saw online that you initially assumed were fake and your righteous anger.  Lemme tell you from experience that emotion is a poor ally in a debate.  It has more holes than swiss cheese.

Another fan expanded on the points of clothing, which also helped me to see it more from that angle.  So thank you to them as well.

But I didn’t get any of this until someone STOPPED TO EXPLAIN!  Even if they were taking shots at my belief system and how I view and interact with the world, an explanation is better than just saying ‘you’re wrong hurr durr you stupid white girl’, which does happen sometimes.

Additionally, one of my friends who shall remain unnamed came and talked with me for about fifteen minutes while I was still in my raging zone.  She assured me that no one was actually attacking me or how I thought and that they were simply trying to express their point of view.  While it still doesn’t feel like it, it is with her help that I have taken this period of time to calm down and attempt to convey my side of the story (which, if you’ve even read to this point, good on you!  Have a cookie!  *gives cookie*)

Now, if you did click this thing and decided it was waaaaay too long, here’s the gist of it:

Y’all did not make it seem as though you knew what you were talking about at all, faced off with the literal head of ML with zero preparation, and only when I made my stand did you guys actually pull up evidence, explanations (both objective and seriously subjective), and make a solid argument.  While I know my ideas were not what ticked you guys off, I’m still seriously disappointed in the whole execution of this.  You guys could have made a serious impact and difference if you had argued this out with him rationally like how you’ve been trying to convince me.

Now, make no mistake, I am sorry that I pissed you guys off and I’m sorry that I made the assumption that you guys were flying off the handle on the basis of three images (which I had thought were promotional).  But please, for the love of all things holy and divine, think before you talk to someone with power about it.  Prepare your offense, your defense, and your points.  Make sure they’re valid and as objective as possible so that way you're making a difference and not just making noise that people will ignore all over again.

Also, to the person who told me I was ‘still confused’, that’s actually a really sucky thing to say.  More like ‘does this help clear up any questions’ or ‘is there anything else that we can clear up?’ would work, but telling me that I’m still confused is just calling me an idiot and I do take slight offense to that.  I am trying, but you don’t get to tell me when I stop being confused.  That’s my call since it’s my brain.  And these are my opinions, which I have reasons for and have just explained to all of you.  Just because they are different to yours does not mean that I’m ‘still confused’.

[leviticus101st]

Heroes in Crisis Critique

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13409994/1/Heroes-in-Crisis-Critique

I wrote a critique on the garbage Event Comic Heroes in Crisis. I wanted to post my critiques here.

Ch.1 

Let’s just jump to the basic story issues.

1: The Pacing

The storyline was originally supposed to be five issues and it got stretched out to nine issues. It should have stayed at five, probably less than that.

Out of those nine issues, only three of them actually matter to the plot. Issues 1, 8, and 9 are the only issues where the murder mystery plot goes forwards. (I feel like I’m being generous with issue 8, because that one just reveals that it was Wally who did it and that Booster cloned him…..I don’t know how he did that, but he did it.)

All the other issues? You can just skip them. They mean nothing, kinda like this story in general now that I think about it.

2: The Artwork

Much like RWBY with it’s animation, this is one I’m sure some people will disagree with me on.

The artwork for HiC was done by Clay Mann and it’s highly moody and detailed. The problem with it is how the women are drawn.

I briefly went over this in my ‘If Dragon Ball was a comic book’ story, but comic books have a problem with making women look as skimpy as possible. That is especially evident here.

The women’s outfits (Except for Wonder Womans.) look like they’re squeezing into every crevice of their bodies. Batgirl’s costume is especially bad in that regard. (Her confessional has her showing her skin. To be fair, she was letting out how the Joker shot affected her, but that’s not much.) Other than the women’s tight outfits, the artwork is pretty good.

3: The Mystery itself

HiC is a mystery story, but you could be forgiven for thinking it was trying to be a buddy cop movie. This is part of the pacing issue. While the plot will advance eventually, the mystery is not what does it. It’s just wacky circumstance. A good mystery story gives both the heroes and the audience the clues as the story progresses. Leading the hero to the most logical conclusion and the audience can have fun trying to put the pieces together.

HiC does not do that. As I said, most of the issues don’t push the plot and we don’t get clues to the fact that Wally West is the killer.

The reveal of Wally West being the killer ruined any chance of this story being taken seriously. There was NOTHING foreshadowing it and the one clue that was found doesn’t match up with it.

They say Batman couldn’t identify the wounds on the corpses because they were inflicted post mortem. Post mortem wounds are easy to identify because those wounds don’t bleed. This is ignoring actual facts!

4: Shock Value

Lots of good characters are dead by the first issue. This ruins any illusion of tension. Moving on.

5: Character Assassination.

I’ll get into specifics a later chapter, but everyone in this story acts nothing like the characters they’re supposed to be.

7: Wally West’s plan

Step one was to mail Lois Lane tapes that has tons of personal information of other people to upload.

Step two was to use the Speed Force to resurrect Poison Ivy.

Step three is to place himself from somewhere in time where everyone he accidently  killed everyone.

Step four was to kill himself.

It feels like a spiritual successor to Identity Crisis alright. Accidental murderer with the dumbest scheme and dumb retcons along for the ride.

These problems are pretty bad, but if it weren’t for what I’mma talk about next chapter, I would just think it was bad.

Ch. 2

(Disclaimer: This will be a very angry analysis. This issue spikes a lot of anger in me. So this will have a lot of anger and swearing.)

Mental health is important. I’m not going to lie about that. People go through their struggles in life and they have their own issues to go through.

That is the reason that this story exists. Hell the title itself, Heroes in Crisis, is reflective of that. It’s Tom King saying that heroes have their own struggles and that they should get help for it.

If I could ask Tom King one question. Just one. It would be this. 

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MISS THE POINT THIS BADLY?!

This story does an atrocious job of portraying mental health. To understand what I mean, allow me to discuss what Sanctuary does for its patients.

In my story, I went out of my way to show therapists in the story to show that the heroes were getting real help. That is not how the actual comic does it.

The AI in the story I showed briefly to make sure everything was okay? In the comics, Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman created it using their best personality traits to help the heroes. 

If that AI was made of their best traits, I’d hate to see their worst. The AI? It insults the patients of the Sanctuary, constantly belittling them for not ‘getting over’ their traumas and pain.

Any actual therapists will tell you that is a very terrible idea. I know WHAT King was going for, tough love, but that is not how you’re supposed to do it. You’re supposed to be supportive of the patient, let them ease into their treatment. YOU DON’T INSULT PEOPLE AND TELL THEM TO GET OVER THEIR TRAUMAS! It’s wrong!

I wish that was all I could talk about with this, but there is so much more stupid shit in this regard.

You see the AI’s treatment for the patients is to force them to relive their most traumatic moment. 

Do I need to explain why that is the dumbest fucking thing for a therapist to do? I feel like it would be an insult to you guys if I explained how fucking stupid that is.

YOU DON’T JUST FORCE PEOPLE TO RELIVE THEIR TRAUMATIC MOMENTS! ‘I have an idea! Let’s make our patients go through the very thing that caused them to need us!’

You can’t even make the argument that it’s a form of Immersion Therapy, because you don’t just throw the thing that causes a person's traumas in their faces! Let’s do an example real quick. Let’s say you’re treating someone who was traumatized by their abusive parents, then you invite the parents. Needless to say, it won’t end very well.

There’s another big problem in the mental health aspect. The other treatment.

Another thing the heroes do in the Sanctuary is a confessional booth, where the heroes confess their problems to a camera. One big problem with this.

People don’t just confess their troubles like that unless it’s urgent and it’s usually to another person. They don’t just speak out their traumas to a camera. It requires a lot of probing by the therapists. What’s sad is that problem is the least terrible about that, but it does lead to another massive issue.

A big plot point is that Lois Lane got some tapes from Wally. Lois being a very kind soul respects the privacy of the heroes and-NAH! She uploads them to the Daily Bugle.

You do not do that! Uploading someone else’s private information like that without their consent is wrong. Especially here, where they’re superheroes with secret identities. They’re loved ones are now in danger because of this.

It’s even a plot hole. They state that the tapes will be destroyed after they’re made (Let’s ignore how pointless that is and how some therapists keep tapes for future reference. Why would you record it if you were just going to get rid of it afterwards?) and Wally got the tapes that were destroyed somehow. I don’t get it either.

That’s all those issues from the actual story, but now let’s talk about a little something King himself said in regards to the killing at the Sanctuary. He stated that the killing was supposed to reflect school shootings.

For the sake of fairness, I know what he means. He’s referring to the tragedy itself. 

Now to piss on fairness, because seriously, what the actual fuck?! First of all, Wally killing the heroes WAS AN ACCIDENT! Mass shootings are never accidents, they take someone holding a gun to a school and willfully opening fire.

Secondly, it’s highly distasteful to pull that shit for this story. Especially now, when there are so many mass shootings in the US. 

Third, there’s a bullshit assumption that mass shootings are caused by the mentally disabled. The truth of the matter is that mass shooters are either self entitled assholes, racists monsters, or both. So this comparison is total shit and completely harmful in this age of mass shootings and attention to mental health problems.

Fourth, and this one is one that many people have pointed out, it’s really dickish to say that you’re going to die or become a mass shooter because you’re metnally disabled or someone trying to get help for your problems.

Lastly. If this story was about mental health, the issues people face because of mass shooting misblamed, then this would be the most relevant and important comic of our age. But it's not! It’s a poorly put together mystery story that barely touches on mental health. 

And you want to know the most fucked up thing about all of these things I’ve discussed?

All of the horrible things I’ve talked about or portrayed as good in the story. Uploading someone’s private info, torturing them with their own traumas, and not doing any real work to help the mentally unwell. It’s portrayed as the right thing in the story. I can’t begin to think about how this hurts people who actively seek or attend therapy.

What was King thinking?! And before you say the editors and executives messed him up, Tom King himself has openly admitted that the only thing he didn’t decide on was what characters would be the focus of the story. Everything else? All him. This is how he thinks mental health should be handled.

I’m frankly very disgusted with this story and I pray to God that nothing like it ever happens again.

Take care of yourselves. 

https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help

Ch. 3

I wanted to use this last chapter to give my final thoughts and a chance to talk about things I haven’t had a chance to talk about.

Overall, HiC is terrible. Character work on the whole is terrible. The pacing is absolutely atrocious. And it’s just a distasteful mess.

One thing that always baffles me is the choice of characters for the story. Booster Gold, Harley Quinn, Batgirl, and Blue Beetle. These characters have nothing to do with mental health, so why have them? Harley is the closest to that, but she got over the Joker long ago.

The comic also suffers from the humor. It’s terrible and does not fit with the comic’s tone.

The story relies on retcons to a character’s history. Roy Harper is the best example. Roy got on drugs because of his depression and parental neglect, not injuries. I don’t know if that fits with his New 52 and Rebirth characterization.

One scene that captures the sheer stupidity of the comic is the scene where Harley Quinn(Who I feel the need to stress is a normal person with a baseball bat.) is able to single handedly fight off the Trinity. I’m dead serious.

Another Harley Quinn scene that is terrible is the one where she attacks Booster Gold while Batgirl and the Ted Kord Blue Beetle (BOOSTER GOLD’S BEST FRIEND!) watch as the crazy lady with a murder history attacks the good guy who’s been friends with them for years. Ted Kord says that he’s projecting a forcefield to protect Booster, so Batgirl (Who is part of the Batfamily who don’t kill unless necessary.) knocks him out to disable it and the whole thing is a joke. Lol look at that crazy lady try to kill the superhero.

Incase the last two paragraphs didn’t make it clear, I’m not a big fan of Harley.

First reason is that I find  her annoying. She just yammers on and on and it distracts from the story.

Second, she’s a mass murderer who gets off easy because she wanted to impress the wrong guy. I know it was abusive, but she still choose to kill people and smiled about it.

Third and this one is kind of petty, but it kind of annoys me that there are so many sympathetic and kind villains who deserve redemption and a happy ending WAY more than she does and they don’t get it. She gets off easily because she was in an abusive relationship, even though there are other villains who have been abused and they don’t get redemption or a ‘Worth so much more than you think’ speech. She wasn’t hypnotised or converted against her will to be evil, she didn’t grow up with parents who gave her a twisted perception of the world, she didn’t grow up in an abusive household to make her snap, her life was fairly good until the Joker came along. Hell, you can’t even make the argument that the Joker made her crazy. All he did was spout some obvious bullshit and she fell for it.

I’m sorry that I went off on that tangent. It just makes me made that so many other villains deserve a happy ending and don’t get it, but Quinn, who I feel the need to stress has a body count, gets one. Yeah.

Let’s talk about Booster for a bit. Booster Gold doesn’t have psychological issues, so he’s out of place here. I’ve read some of the stuff that built up to this and it doesn’t give the impression he got some, just that he’s kind of an idiot. (Also, couldn’t he have just time traveled to stop all of this or find something out?)

Wally being the killer was a terrible decision. He just came back and he’s made into a villain. For some reason, DC doesn’t let him be happy. (Again, favoring the psychopath who murdered lots of people have a happy ending.) They hate him for SOME reason, though nobody can figure out why. He’s brought back just to suffer in this crapfeast.

Another problem with Wally here is how out of character he is. Wally has shown to be one of the nicest guys in the entire DC Universe and he pulls the crap he does here. As I said, him killing the heroes was an accident. He puts together a plan to make up for it, that requires him to have computer skills he’s never been established to have.

The act that made him kill the heroes was a mental trigger of his family. (We’ll ignore the fact that that’s not how the Speedforce works.) He spent five days getting tapes to Lois (Guess being as fast as a dude who can outrun an instantaneous teleporter makes it hard to be a delivery boy.), teams up with a past/future version of himself, and then tries to kill himself. (For those of you who didn’t get my Identity Crisis joke, Jean had a smiliar stupid plan for a stupid reason.)

Oh and after the heroes talk him down from killing himself, Harley knees him in the nads. (The mass killer gets a happier ending than the guy who wants his family back.)

The Trinity are morons in this story, they don’t do anything that a smart person would do, can’t tell when a person dies of electric shocks or when wounds are afflicted after a person dies, and get curb stomped to make Harly Quinn look good.

Let’s just finish this. This story just sucks. The only redeeming thing about it is the artwork, even then, the females are drawn like they’re weird aliens who want to conquer us all.

This story is a pathetic, distasteful, harmful piece of shit. I don’t want to say ‘I hope everyone forgets it’ because we need to know just how garbage this kind of thing is. We need to know just how wrong something can be.

Take care of yourselves everyone. If you need help, go find some real help. Whatever you find will be better than HiC will ever do for you.

[indygotcha]

who in your opinion is the coolest mc ever?

IDK how to answer this truthfully, TBQH. This question landed right on my face during me suddenly feeling dissociated with my interests out of nowhere yesterday.

I more or less dunno if I can entirely distill myself to talking about who’s best among best when it comes to certain things and stuff. It seems like I can take everyone for who they are, and the ones I would love the most are the ones I might want to relate to the most, or have certain special connection.Like right now, your question brought reminded me that lately I haven’t bothered watching BNHA at all, and have had very.. “indifferent” feelings to it over these times despite having read all the chapters and everything

I think it has had to do with the time I had watched the 1st season and had overall on-going history with dissociating on liking fictional characters or relating to them and stuff. When I got into the series first time, I think it was because of its amazing shonen spirit that felt like simple, yet very reconstructed. I had been pretty depressed during that time and was already in middle of struggling through graduating high school. 

Thanks to my hard efforts though, I managed to get through and graduate with quite a bang. Quite amazing times too, especially since BNHA was still on-going and I had a blast watching it. You can read more about it here.

But again, what did happen? I think it’s an awful mix of me again having to start to thinking I’m nothing in a fandom if I can’t make myself well-known there in some way, or something. I guess because I tried to draw a BNHA OC due them becoming a trend, but then none batted an eye as much as I though they would despite me working hard on it, and it had me lose interest due war flashbacks on being rejected/ignored in some previous fandoms I was part in, and went on to go try writing some fanfictions in order to build a following. Even worse if something happens to become hated even when I liked it: Because TBQH, it’s hard for me to hate something to the point of bandwagoning on it out of spite -  I always believe they can be made better without changing the character outright most of the time.

This has been like this for the whole time now since being back in this fandom, and lately it had me lose interest on keeping up watching the newest episodes. I instead decided to follow my curiosity and watch something less intensive and prone for me to think I need to make myself “alive” here in this fandom.

Which um, leads to what I think is what reflects my feeling on this question: Kazuto “Kirito” Kirigaya A.K.A “Jesus-kun”

Most standard response on this would be “why would I even wanna a bat an eye on this dude, he’s nothing well-written, he’s clearly a stupid wish-fulfilment character, etc. Hell, why am I checking out what’s considered “the worst anime” of all time, at least in mainstream presence?

Perhaps the starting point was that I knew there was already better anime out there I can kick back into if it really is trash, and well, I have nothing to lose if I watch this incase I wanna go back to good stuff again. Might as well gain knowledge on how mainstream anime works today. TBQH, I had also had some subtle feelings of being tired of watching high quality stuff and wanting to kick back a bit. 

So something odd happened during certain moments in the show. I… had moments of “feels” for more emotional scenes and stuff.

I was, frankly, appalled. Because for longest time, I had been thinking that the overall reception to something is the truth. So there was no way this show would have me in feels. In fact, it should had been complete opposite because there’s clearly plot holes, deus ex machinas, etc.

In fact, I wondered what had me keep going watching this show, and I soon realized why: because the show wasn’t actually as bad as peeps made it to be.And frankly, the “wish-fulfillment” or other things that would feel unrealistic in some ways, felt actually more beautiful due their imperfection:  because they forced me to feel them instead of trying to dissect intellectually in order to allow myself feel them in a legit fashion (A.K.A every frigging argument on Tumblr other site ever).  

Like yeah, this is definitely a dumbest excuse for a family ever

But I again, feel like that the imperfection on how this family got together anyway, being stranded together by the circumstances that the world they got trapped and how they can be so sweet with each other makes it actually something I wanna find one day due coming from a rather broken family myself. It’s all in the feelings that this stupidly imperfect yet so cuddly and badass gave to me. 

Then come videos like this which dissect how it all is so illogical for it all to happen it is that frankly, I lose the sight of getting to it because “it’s unrealistc” and “stupid” and that feeling gets broken:

They keep piling on and on which frankly has me lose the sight of the feelings that these kind of things gives to me, from my own ground and personal past experiences + desires. And thus, I rather try to cover up my thoughts via intellectual reasonings among other things in order to stay on top instead of being forgotten.

And that’s how it’s been for most of my life, I had treated things I used to enjoy as something I need to analyze and find so objectively good that there’s no way I can be looked down upon for liking it because I was made fun of or treated like shit for just liking them for my own reasons (usually more emotional than intellectual).

But that’s not how it goes when you try to enjoy these things. It’s not about how objectively good they are - it’s about what they made you feel. The surprising part is… there usually is a reason. And it has something to do with yourself deep within. IMO, those reasonings are more purer and perhaps larger than life, compared to whatever objective reasons there are to say when something is good, reasonably explained, or other things to be allowed to be felt validly about.

So why Mr.”Jesus”-kun? 

Well, because… at first he and the series reminds me of the appealing things in anime. The keyword is on “appeal”. 

Like, you see a dude who gets some kickass moves or abilities, who seems like, liked overall by many folk and yadda yadda. Your usual mess and stuff. But overtime on always just analyzing these things instead of just taking them in, I kinda felt like a kid again wanting to be all those things that makes for a cool person even if they might appear to be some dumbass wish-fulfillment char. But it’s the feelings that matter - since in the end, they springboard you right away from there. Like, don’t think of how he got there. Think of the first impressions you had on some characters upon seeing them be awesome enough to hype you when you flicked a channel on randomly running these anime.

Now I would have dropped this whole series at once due harem shenanigans that were so brought in about as one of the series’ most notable “infamies”, yet frankly enough, there was no such stuff enough to make Certain Magical Index look a genuinely romantic series. It just kept on whatever plots it had, even if it had some controversial stuff going for it (like the whole cousin incest-shit, but they actually resolved it in pretty “okay”, dare I say, tasteful manner compared to your other animes with much heavier focus on such topic and never bring it up again ever since.)

I thought it’d be there, but since the show wasn’t apparently harem jazz and tried to tell story arcs as they came anyway, I decided to chug along since I had gone enough deep  -  yet later on in the 2nd season, Mr.Jesus-kun goes through some hard events and through that he went on to make an act of being a fucking DECENT PERSON  pretty damn admirable and heartwarming - something I always took for granted even if I do that a lot of the time. In fact, I think he’s quite a heroic guy for a “boring” person. 

Like, he goes to kick rapists’ asses even if you might say they rip that stuff of from better anime and it’s used for pointless drama. 

And if that wasn’t enough, he goes all the way to help a girl he bonded throughout the arc she’s featured with her severe PTSD to see a very positive flipside to the incident that led her to get one, which leads to one of the most satisfying endings for an arc I’ve seen in anime for a long while:

I think what took me most aback was how Jesus-kun himself felt so strongly about giving her opportunity such resolve, which is frankly admirable thing. 

In the arc, he had to deal with similar feelings due certain incidents in SAO that had him also kill folk before, much like this gal Shino above. He found resolve through as well after talking it out with his personal doctor:

Like, say what the fucking ever you want about this overly dumb MC, but this guy deep inside is a decent person throughout and tries to go all by helping others beyond virtual reality jazz that he’s given so much flack about. No fucking rocket science why girls fall for him. :P  Not that the anime is like the spinoff-games which has the harem mess people laud the series so much as for some reason.

For that, he’s been “coolest” MC for these past 3 days (and gets to join in ranks with others I know in similar being). And from what I heard about this series, it seems to keep on getting better, if only for the fact that the author (Reki Kawahara) appears to not be some stuck-up man and tries to address problems with his writing as series goes on, even to the point of rebooting the whole series for a new series of light novels. On that end, most peeps lauded anime as worse than original LNs, so I guess it means I can go fill in the blanks for these chars in them incase I get curious, and build my vision of them even further.

In short, I have a lot of MCs I consider cool.  Why settle on one only?

And now here comes the unfollows

[wellmeaningshutin]

Short Story #54: Favors.

Written: 3/1/2017

Okay, I’ll admit it, it was my fault, I fucked up big time. My anger should’ve been kept in check, and I should’ve attempted to cool off instead of decided to stew in it, letting it fester and boil until I did something stupid. Sure, it was reasonable to be upset that he cheated on me, but I should have just kicked him out, thrown all of his shit onto the front lawn and told him to find a new place to stay, and that he shouldn’t call me or even try to talk to me, because there would be no chance that we would even get back together. When he was blubbering as he told me the story of his adultery, I should’ve told him that it was my right to be crying, and that he was being a manipulative and controlling asshole by trying to take the role of the victim away from me. I should’ve told him that it wasn’t a genuine mistake if it was premeditated, it was cheating in the first degree. I should of said any of that, instead of letting him make his pitiful racket, while I carried on with an imaginary argument in my head, letting all of the rage build up inside of me instead of venting it out on him, like a healthy person would do. Hell, I should of, at the very least, used that golf club to smash in his car windows, headlights, side mirrors, hood, fender, trunk, any of that instead of using it to bash in his pathetic face.

But I guess hindsight is 20/20, so what was the point in worrying about what I should’ve done? He was just a bloody lump on my favorite rug, without even a face for me to hate, since red paste, teeth, brains, and a tongue had replaced the look of fear he had only a couple minutes before. Even though I did something really awful, you could still say that I’m a better person than him because when he cheated on me, and killed our relationship, it was premeditated, but when I caved his face in it was just in the heat of the moment. And in a way, he worked very hard at bringing that evil out of me, since I would never even consider doing that to somebody unprovoked. Although, I still have to admit blame, I’m the one who killed him, it was no fault but mine.. And my parents who constantly fought in front of me, which lead me to develop inappropriate anger management skills that, when combined with the events of that night-

Shit, I’m doing it again. My fault, my fault, my fault.

Its really important for me to accept the blame, because it gives me a sense of moral superiority that I desperately need. I need to know that I’m a good enough person to understand that I’ve done something wrong, but not only that, I also feel bad about it, and not in a forced way to make people like me. These are real tears I’m crying. Okay, well, I’m not crying now, but I think I’ve run out of tears, or my eyes are exhausted. He, the man without a face, would never accept blame for anything he did, which was explicitly clear when he was on his knees, crying crocodile tears, telling me how he didn’t mean to download that dating app, meet a girl with drinks at a bar, and then go back to her place where they had gross, unprotected.. Well, you know. The only reason he was crying for forgiveness was because one of his friends told me. Asshole. Plus, none of my neighbors would ever accept guilt for the shit that they’ve done, they always say shit like “Well, if I don’t do it then somebody else will”, “This is the way its supposed to be, they’re all wrong”, or “I’m being reasonable here, it her who is confused”, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

So, that night, I had to get rid of the body somehow. Now, if it went to court and stuff I could maybe explain how it was heat of the moment, and argue temporary insanity or something, but then I would have to live in jail for a while, then everyone would know what I did, they’d think of me differently, court would drag on forever and I would lose a ton of cash if I wanted somebody decent to represent me, and what happens if I lost? I live in prison for a while? Really, it just seemed much more reasonable to just bury him and pretend like he never came home or something. Might as well try to avoid all of the unnecessary hurdles of the legal system, and the point of prison, anyways, is to correct bad behaviors, and its not like I’m somebody who decided to do this, and this was the only scenario where I would do something like that. Bad luck, that’s all it was. Plus, if Christianity turns out to be right, I’m going to hell anyways, and isn’t that enough punishment?

The easiest way, to get rid of the faceless lump, was to bury it in my backyard, in the space where I already planned to have a tree planted the next day. If I dug deep enough, then the.. What are people who work with trees called? Arbor day is for trees, right? So would they be arborigines? If I dug deep enough, the arborigine wouldn’t even notice that the body, and then the tree would cover him up and not only would my problems go away, but I would also be taking steps to help the environment. Win win! Yet, I have pretty weak arms, and digging a hole that deep was taking way too long. On top of that, I was pretty frantic and wasn’t really thinking straight-you try killing somebody and then acting calm and reasonable afterwards-so I decided to keep the body out there with me, rolled up in what used to be my favorite rug, for an easy measure to see if the hole was deep enough. It didn’t take very long for a nosy neighbor to pop his head over the fence and see me trying to bury a body.

“Watcha doin’ over there? Burying some guy?”

How do you react to that question, especially when its asked so casually? I had no idea of what to do, so I just motioned my dirt encrusted hands in circles, while I mumbled and tried to find a good response. I couldn’t think of one, so I just stood there looking like an asshole.

“Hey, Betty, come check this out.”

“What, what? You know its late, whats so important?”

“She’s digging a hole over there, it looks like she’s burying some guy.”

“Oh, is he dead?”

“Sure seems like it.”

Next thing I know, my elderly neighbor is now poking her head out over the fence, staring at me, the bloody rug, and the hole I’ve tried to dig. I would’ve been worried about getting arrested if they weren’t so amused by the whole situation. Not knowing how to react, I just kept digging. “If you keep working at it like that, you’re going to be digging until the sun comes up, then you’ll have to worry about birds eating the poor fella. We already have too many birds in this neighborhood, probably because Dolorous moved out some time ago and took all of her cats with her, so without those cats you have too many birds, which wont be good with that man laying around. You might as well put up a sign saying you’re giving free lunches to hungry birds, but that would just lead to too many handouts, we have so many of those already, don’t we Betty?”

“Nobody’s working because of welfare. You get paid thousands of dollars to sit on your rear and do drugs, its a shame.”

“Yes, a shame indeed. Now, why don’t I walk over there and help you out with that hole situation? I used to dig holes back in the day, trenches in fact, back when I was in a world war one reenactment. That was about last year, but I think I still have some of the know how.” And without waiting for an answer, he walked around, out of his back yard and into mine, shovel in hand, helping me dig that hole. His wife, Betty, went inside of their home to start making snacks and drinks for us, since we were doing all sorts of hard work.

Then, while we’re half way through the hole, Betty comes over with a large tray sandwiches and a glass pitcher of lemonade, and behind her is some thirty year old guy carrying a fresh pie with oven mitts on, since the thing is steaming hot. Her explanation was, “I needed somebody to help me carry everything, and he seemed like a nice fellow. Plus, with the fight I could hear you having, I assumed that your boyfriend is the man in the rug, so you must be on the market again.”

All the guy had to say was, “Oh, I’m sort of seeing somebody already, I’m not interested. I live down the street by the way, but I only go there to sleep so you’ve probably never noticed me. You guys digging a hole? I could lend a hand with that.” Then he took my shovel, and I’m sitting there with Betty, eating finger sandwiches and talking about the ways that the neighborhood has been changing.

Suddenly, I heard somebody open the gate into my backyard, their footsteps were easily heard on the gravel path, and they announced, “Mm, mm, mm! Is that one of Betty’s famous boysenberry pies? I could smell that from three houses down, and you know I can’t sleep when the smell of pies are in the air.” All of the sudden, Luann, another older neighbor of mine, appears and takes a slice of the pie, and she’s so focused on eating that it takes until she’s licked the filling off of her fingers to even realize what’s happening. “Oh, are you guys burying a body? Whose the poor guy?”

“Its her boyfriend,” Betty says pointing at me, and the men are still digging away, in the hole that is currently waist high. “She’s single now, so if you know anybody-”

“Girl, if I knew anybody that was single, I’d take them for myself.” ==============================================================

Sometime in the afternoon of the next day, the arborigine comes by and plants the tree, right where my favorite rug is buried, and it seems like all of my problems are starting to melt away. I was lucky that he didn’t drive, and relied on the bus to get around, because then I’d have to deal with the hassle of getting rid of a car, but my problems were pretty limited.

Time moved on, and the police eventually started to look into his disappearance, but I just told them that I heard from a friend that he was out with some other girl, then he just never came home. He was a shitty boyfriend in the first place, so I just assumed it was over and he didn’t bother saying anything. I was pretty lucky that he had a reputation for ghosting people, so nothing in the way I acted seemed suspicious to them. On top of that, when they decided to check with the neighbors, just to be extra thorough, they said they never saw him come to my place, and the house had been completely quiet. There was nothing to connect me to the awful thing that I had done, and life was just moving forwards.

It really seemed like I was free. I even started volunteering at soup kitchens, just to start building up some positive karma, giving back to the world to make up what I took away from it. In a way, the whole ordeal, even if it was wicked, made me into a better person, and if the Christian god was real, it seemed like I might actually get into heaven.

What I didn’t know, was that time of peace was really just a honeymoon period in my relationship with evil, which would prove to be much worse than anything that faceless guy had put me through. ==============================================================

One day, about a month later from the whole ordeal, I get home from yoga, which meant that I was exhausted and ready to lounge around for a little while before I had to get to the kitchen. That was usually my favorite moment of the day, where I could watch bad television shows and eat peanut butter. However, when I was putting my key into the lock, I could feel somebody breathing onto the back of my neck. Startled, I turned around to see one of my neighbors who helped me dig the whole, the guy that Betty tried to set me up with. Something was on his mind, but he was clearly having trouble saying it, so he just stared down at his hands which he was wringing together, breath sour and heavy.

“You remember when I helped you out that night?” He spat out after one of the longest minutes of my life.

“Yeah, thanks again for that.” This was said as I was trying to unlock my door and get into the house. The guy was starting to freak me out, but he grabbed my wrist before I could get the door open.

“I need you to return the favor. I helped you out, and now I need you to help me.”

Preparing to stab him with my keys if he asked what I assumed he was ask, I guardedly replied. “What are you asking?”

“Well, its not very much, but there’s.. There’s this girl, and I know that I love her, and its clear that she loves me because she used to say that she would love me forever, but now she’s just confused..”

“Confused?”

“Confused, thinking that she doesn’t love me anymore, but I know she does, because forever isn’t over yet.” Oh god, that awkward laugh. “But, she gave me this,” he fished some crumpled documents out of his pocket, “a-and now I might get into some legal trouble if I get to close to her, which doesn’t make sense because I can clear all of this up really easy if I just got the chance to talk to her. I just need to talk to her for a little bit, just to remind her how she used to feel about me, and then we’ll be in love again.” My facial expression probably expressed what I was thinking, because he had to explain,”I know what it seems like, but it really is just her lawyers who got her all twisted up. I don’t even think she wants this, and I don’t need much for you.” I still stared at him, “Fine. If you don’t help me, I’ll probably get unfairly arrested, but if I do then I might have to give them some information to stay out of trouble…”

So, a half hour later, I’m driving into some apartment complex with the creep in the trunk of my car. Apparently he knows the code to open the gates, but the security has a picture of him, and will stop him if they catch him on any of their cameras, which there are plenty of. All I have to do is drive in, park in front of her apartment, and then let him out of the trunk. After that I can leave and we would be considered even, and in a way I guess he really was true to his word.

The chore really did go as easily as he made it out to be, so he must have really done his homework. Still, it was awful to see, the next day, news reports about the murder suicide that happened in the complex. ==============================================================

So, now my mental health is starting to plummet, now that I have that poor girl’s blood on my hands. The faceless jerk was no problem, but this…

I had trouble sleeping, eating, functioning in general really, and I started to understand what it was like to have anxiety. Charity, yoga, and socializing had taken up less and less of my time, and I considered to take up smoking pot to fill that time. Anything to get me to stop thinking about what I helped accomplish.

One of my old high school friends, that I was in irregular contact with, was a weed dealer who delivered, so in a way they were a life saver. I was so antsy to get that first ounce-I didn’t understand how much was normal to buy, or how little I would have to smoke since I had no tolerance, but I wanted to get enough to last-and spend a half hour sitting in a dining chair, staring at my front door, waiting for the knock, which turned out to be a ring of my doorbell. And when I answered, instead of seeing my dealer, I saw Luann.

Having to text my dealer, telling them that they had to wait a couple hours to come by, was like a blow to my self esteem. Not only because I had to wait for the relief I desperately needed, but also due to the fact that I had to do it in a truck that reeked of cigarettes, and had several containers of gasoline in the back. The whole time the older woman is preaching to me, about how “Modern day churches have become their own religion, and now real Christianity has fallen behind, and goes worshiped”, or,”There are so many places of worship out there that all interpret the bible in their own ways, saying this or that is the real meaning of the text, when really they’re furthering their own gains. Look at one of the big things that Jesus did: he pointed out how the churches were all wrong, and misinterpreted things. He had to come back to Earth to clear things up.” The weirdest part about the ride was when she claimed that she had never read the bible, but knew its true contents because the lord spoke directly to her, and wanted things cleared up.

Getting high and forgetting about that poor girl would’ve been nice, but instead I had to spend it acting as a lookout while that bat-shit insane woman doused the outside of my parent’s church in gasoline, used newspapers as kindling, and.. Well.. A burning church isn’t really something that you can get out of your mind, and on top of that its most likely a one way ticket to hell. Lets just hope that the Christians are wrong. ==============================================================

Things weren’t really too bad after that, because I never had to think about them since I spent so much time slowly thinking about stuff that didn’t matter. It turned out that drugs were really great for getting past personal issues, and it made a lot of sense why so many people with drug problems have come from shitty lives. Its amazing too be out of your head, if your head is full of shit. Its amazing how I can listen to the same album over and over, but every time it feels like I’m hearing it for the first time.

All it takes is a knock on my door to take that paradise away from me, and then again I’m whisked away to something else that I don’t want to be involved in. You know, for a sweet, elderly couple they can’t really ask me to do anything too bad. Before I opened that door, I was expecting them to implore me to join them in their love making, some sort of swinger arrangement, but that wouldn’t be as bad as what I already did, and I was already stoned out of my mind anyways.

The world always finds a way to surprise you.

I’ve been free and clear since that last time I had to help one of my neighbor’s, but I’ve had to invest a lot of my money in psychiatry, and at least I was finally able to find an anti-depressant that didn’t make me suicidal. If I can say anything about that last favor, which I don’t like to think about, I would say this:

If I wasn’t stoned, I don’t think I could’ve been able to do what they asked me. I was lucky that repetitive tasks were so easy under that drug, because there was no way that I would have been able to calmly, and orderly, take all of those balloons out of those poor, poor girls who had their bags burst, which, after a serious of decisions, left them cut open in that garage, with me to do what I was asked to do.