#this will be infinitely less funny if you don't get the meme

[hypewinter]

Danny is reading peacefully in his new room at Wayne Manor when there's suddenly a commotion outside his door. Next thing he knows Bruce comes storming through the door.

"Danny did you lie to me about your past!?" he asked calmly.

[sexhaver]

ive been playing Cassette Beasts for a minute and it never stops being funny to me how flagrant they are about making this "Pokemon but with features you didn't know Pokemon has always needed". off the top of my head:

super effective/NVE hits have added benefits/debuffs beyond just doubling/halving the damage (hitting Electric types with Ground reduces their evasion and speed, hitting Steel types with Poison gives them poison-coated spikes that do contact damage, etc)

legally-distinct-Pokemon will learn new moves while in your party without having to battle, and you can then straight up steal these moves from them and put them on a not-Pokemon you actually care about using, which gives an actual incentive to hunt down and raise otherwise fringe not-mons beyond completing the not-Pokedex

we all played the Pokemon Infinite Fusion fangame right? we know how fusions work? okay so this game has them as temporary per-battle things instead of permanent ones, which is only marginally less cool while being infinitely easier to balance around

attempting to catch something shows you the percentage chance of success so you know whether you just got unlucky or if you should save your Pokeballs-i-mean-blank-cassette-tapes

leveling up is tied to your not-trainer instead of your not-pokemon, so you don't end up in the classic trap where your starter is way overleveled and everything else is underleveled and then you hit a fight your starter can't solo and have to spend an hour grinding to get the weaker not-mons up to par (funnily enough most Pokemon Nuzlocke romhacks have already figured this out and give you infinite rare candies with the only restriction being that you can't level past the next gym leader's ace pokemon, because Pokemon fans have realized that grinding is the worst part of the game way before Game Freak has)

moves, not-Pokeballs, not-PokeCenter visits, and healing items are all bought using entirely separate currencies which stops you from trivially breaking the economy in half

the soundtrack, fittingly, is pretty good! the vocals were a bit much for my taste but there's an option in the settings menu to straight up turn them off (letting the BGM play on its own), which i've never seen in any other game and really appreciate

downsides:

on a game design level, i understand why can i only carry a max of 5 not-Potions and 1 not-Revive at a time - it's to put a limit on how far away from fast travel points i can get by just running away from everything and healing off damage. on a gameplay level, however, this feels pretty bad

the pixel art style is trying to look as much like Pokemon as possible without actually being Pokemon so the overworld sprites look more like beta stuff from Pokemon that they cut for looking too weird. i have yet to find a haircut that doesn't look bad

this is super petty of me but something about the bloom and lighting of the 3d environments combined with pixelated 2d sprites that still cast shadows makes me painfully aware im playing a video game. it's like they were going for the same aesthetic as Octopath Traveler but fell just barely short. i can't think of a better way to articulate this feeling but if you know you know

it does that really obnoxious half-assed style of voice acting where plot-relevant characters will sometimes (maybe every third or fourth textbox) speak the first two or three words of dialogue before trailing off. mashing through textboxes (as one does) means constantly getting jumpscared by "hmm"s and "haha!"s "okay then!"s

i get that they wanted to make the player feel involved in the story, and it has a pretty decent hook so far, but oh my god. the amount of dialogue "choices" that just transparently do not matter. you know how people memed on Fallout 3 and 4's dialogue choices all leading to the same outcome, to the extent that you were basically choosing between "yes" and "yes (rude)"? and you know how Bethesda would at least attempt to justify how both options led to you accepting the quest anyways, even if it was really dumb? Cassette Beasts has streamlined this process even further by making the options in most of their binary decisions so identical that they don't even require different followup dailogue before rejoining into the main conversation thread. a solid 2/3rds of the dialogue options in this game so far feel like checks that you're still awake. i know this is a minor issue because people aren't playing Pokemon-likes for the engaging "choices matter" approach to storytelling, and i did ignore it at first, but it's so pervasive that you really can't ignore it

[nadiawritessomething]

omg so glad your inbox is open!!! i wanna know what you think Miles G’s sense of humor is like, because 1610 Miles has a pretty sarcastic one. Do you think G would make more jokes as a way of coping and keeping people around him just a tiny bit happier compared to the rest of his world? Or do you think he would make less jokes entirely? I personally think he makes less jokes in general, but if he’s with his mom, he’ll make a normal amount of them because he wants to see her genuinely smile ^_^

*looks through her infinite Miles G headcanons list*

This is quite an interesting question, because in fact, everywhere I like to look for the middle ground and the most likely option of all.

It is not difficult to say that until a certain moment in life, the humor of 1610 and 42 was basically identical. Neither Jefferson nor Rio are "stoned" when it comes to humor, so he wouldn't have any initial predispositions to a bad sense of humor. I can even say that if we take 1610 (and I always take him into account, because without it the analysis will be incomplete), that he has more humor from his father - similar slightly silly jokes and gags (they even became the authors of the same meme with that stairs). Rio, judging by her dialogue at the party, has a less...refined sense of humor, and I think that's also because she just grew up in a different culture, so jokes she used to might be unusual for New Yorkers, but I'm digging a little to far at that point.

Still, back to Miles G, I think their 1610 senses of humor would be similar BUT not the same, although they would be able to make each other laugh a lot more than other people (If Miles G would let himself to openly laugh near someone new of course) And the reason for that, again, is the family and other surroundings. It's not a stretch to say that there's a good chance he picked up some humor in Rio — especially when he's speaking Spanish, because the dialogue with 1610 shows that she likes to use Spanish when it comes to joking. As a bilingual, I can say that many jokes from one language are impossible to translate into another due to the peculiarities of the puns themselves (I can imagine how Aaron suffered because of this at first lol. Like he can't understand what this kid is saying and why is he so hard trying to keep this straight face)

Regarding Aaron and his influence on Miles' humor: I think his and Jeff's relationship with humor is quite different. Of course, there are similarities, because they grew up together, but Aaron looks way more...relaxed. While most of Jeff's funny moments are either his failed attempts to make amends, or phrases that should sound serious but don't. In general, one feels that he works as a policeman and tends to act serious when it comes to serious topics (wich was once he usually discussed in a movie).

At the same time, Aaron feels more in his element. He can calmly walk up to his nephew and start telling him some weird techniques or replying to messages with a bunch of emojis. I think he's the type of person whose jokes are really good, but not many people understand them; honestly, I don't even know if he was serious about that shoulder touch stuff.

Most likely, Miles also did not immediately understand some of his phrases, but over time of working together, he just got used to it, and became one of the few people who really appreciates his uncle's fun. Of course, they have to be more serious than 1610 in that scene, but I don't believe Aaron wouldn't throw in a joke at least once in a while (to which he would initially get a puzzled 'um?'). I'm not sure that he would have adopted some of those jokes, but in part - in part, this uncle's influence cannot but be felt.

And now for the weirder detail that I haven't seen anyone bring up yet - Earth 42's humor as a thing. Because it seems to me that Miles G understands sarcasm or dark humor - but not that he likes to use it very much. Because you have to understand something like this if you are part of Earth 42. Let me explain.

Six, as a group of people, are absolute idiots in themselves, and therefore, to problems or complaints in their direction, they most likely... simply did not respond with anything worthwhile. Respond with sarcasm like "if you don't have water, go bathe in our green river" (© the Lizard) might be quite of an option. One of the posters in the background of Earth 42 sometimes says "Don't do this" copying the slogan of the Nike company, so I think there are a lot of such billboards out there. Imagine if there were some sarcastic, ironic "Life is beautiful if you don't look at it" or "Just give it up dude" posters all over town. Because the Six benefit from keeping their slaves residents at bay, and this kind of passive-aggressive humor is part of that.

So yeah, Miles can't help but understand it when it's part of his environment and part of the job. But did he choose to use it often? Do not think. His life is already terrible enough, and knowing how he want to help and the way he honestly holds on to what is dear to him - I don't think he would have made the situation worse. (Especially considering that his mother would not like it, and yes, this is an important criterion). Sometimes he knows a sarcastic answer to some phrase - but he uses them only rarely and expediently. Usually when he feels hurt or uncomfortable.

I want to finish with how it was actually in the Vagabonds with humor. I think he's less funny than spiderman - he needs to be more quiet and focused or he might break a dozen bones (or fail a mission). It's not that he doesn't have jokes in his head - sometimes they do, but the work itself makes him very clearly analyze the moments when these jokes will be safe to tell.

He thinks that in a dialogue with thieves, he will rather start saying something like "Hurry up, I have to defrost the chicken before my parents comes home." with the most serious face ever. Like, really, he has things to do.

And well that's all for today cause I have to sleep. Thanks for your questions! Also I rly like your page and hcs they're all so TRUE/pos srs..

[explodingchantry]

Hi there!

It's been a few years since I properly was active on here. I've obviously reblogged some funny memes across the years, which I hope you've enjoyed. But long argumentative posts? Not so much.

I think there's something admirable about Dragon Age and its lore. Bioware's ability to build a world so deep and believable, with issues which touch so close to home that it leads its fans to argue infinitely with each other. I was going over my world of thedas books to give my flatmate some world building examples and my admiration for Bioware's world building has not diminished. Actually, as a now full fledged writer, having just completed a degree in creative writing and all that jazz... I feel like I can appreciate the work that has gone into Dragon Age and its associated media even more. Is it perfect? Hell the fuck no. But it is deep and thought out and so immensely human. The passion we all have for their world and the issues is something I haven't seen ever since. I've seen a lot of posts making fun of all the arguments we all had and, I mean, I understand. Reading on years old posts about lore that I've forgotten about, it's all incomprehensible, and I'm left asking myself: my god, what the fuck are you even talking about?!

The passion which I had for advocating what was right in this fictional setting is not something I'm ashamed of, however. I spent my time reading and analysing a text I liked. There's nothing shameful about that. What might be shameful is making a whole discourse blog about it and arguing so aggressively with others. I still hold the same ideas - that Anders was right and justified, and that mages should be free. None of my opinions necessarily changed. Cullen is still a little cunt and some of the arguments that have been sent to me to justify the abuse of mages is legitimately horrifying. It resonates with real life abuse apologism. This, on top of how many minorities see themselves in mages and see their plight as a mirror of their own oppression... It's disgusting, to be frank. It leads one to wonder; if you're able to think that about very humanised and relatable characters.... What would you say about real people? Friends, but also strangers? I stand by everything I've said on here, even if the attitude it came with was far too aggressive for the subject matter.

But the opinions I've just outlined interest me, because I am also a strong believer of the "fiction =/= reality" state of mind, which I know I've mentioned before. If you did a pro-templar run because you're interested to see what happens and believe it's the most fun, I always believed that it didn't mean you were a bad person. What I did believe reflected on your morality, is whether out of the game you actually believed in those politics. Because of how they intrinsically tied with real world issues. If you saw the suffering of mages and elves and still believed their oppressors were right it meant you either fell for their framing of the issue (the chantry's belief that mages are dangerous for example) or that you just hated those groups so much you didn't give a shit. This, I think, is what reflects on you. I couldn't care less what you believed made for an interesting scenario in the game, I just cared about what you took out from it.

The true issue though is that I don't believe it's worth getting in so many fights with strangers anymore. It's not healthy. I wasn't... Happy. I felt righteous, I felt energized. But I also felt angry. All the time. I would skip on time bonding with my friends to fight with people on the Internet and at the time I thought that was funny, but in the grand scheme of things? It wasn't good. It was actually sad. No Internet argument, no game is so important that you need to take away from your private time with friends to yell at strangers over the Internet. It's not fun. If you think you're cool and interesting and superior for doing that... I need you to take a moment and sit down. Sit down and just... Think, about everything going on in your life, everything going on in the world and wonder if this truly is the best use of your time. I don't mean this in a judgemental way, because I've been there. But when people say "touch grass," it's out of a feeling of bewilderment that one might care enough about such issues to take time out of their day to rant about it endlessly instead of just... Focusing on other things. Friends, hobbies, self growth. Things that result in happiness. Not anger.

Because what the years have taught me is that this whole arguing over the Internet thing is truly not worth your time or energy, when so many of us are miserable in our day to day lives. Every day brings more pain and misery. Tragedy after tragedy hit our world. We've had so much loss in the past two years alone. But saying this undermines the fact that... There was misery and suffering in the world when I was fighting people on tumblr about mage rights. I can already see the argument, thet we have to remember that we cannot spend every single second of our time gobbling news and misery and trying to change the world. But spending that time to instead argue about fictional politics... There's a cognitive dissonance here that doesn't escape me.

This is a complicated issue! No one should shame themselves or each other for spending time discussing what they were passionate in, and I hope no one will take this post that way. I'm just thinking out loud, about what my place in this fandom was, about what I added to it. And, for as much as I adore Dragon Age and its fandom, knowing all I brought was discourse? Long posts ranting about in-game politics? It's not like I ever brought up anything new, either. I think this fandom deserved more from me, and when da4 comes out... I hope to bring more of a positive impact on this fandom. I want to spend my time making friends, rather than yelling at people!

Thank you however, to everyone who has been kind to me, who have participated in discussions and sent in memes. This fandom is deeply insightful and talented, and in spite of all the arguments I've had... I've truly valued everyone I interacted with. When da4 comes, I hope to interact with you not as an angry ranting little asshole, but as a fellow fan enjoying my time. And if I rant... I hope I do it alongside positive creative content.

Love ya!

[thispabulum-blog]

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

What's the Tea? Tuesday

It's been a while, eh?

I'll see if I can get things caught up here. It's definitely gonna be a long one, but I'll skip by as much boring stuff as I can. Lots of memes about how fucking hot it is/was, because I am definitely not thriving in this heat.

June was a long month!

First up was going to visit Cuddlebug's mom - who I'm gonna call Mama Bug. The drive there was actually less stressful than I expected.

As someone who uses a LOT of public bathrooms, I can honestly say that unless it's a truck stop, Buc-ee's, RaceTrac, or QT, I'd rather take my chances on a fast food place than a gas station any day. Random gas station bathrooms are horrifying more often than not - if they even have one/will let you use it - and almost always single-occupancy. Fast food places get cleaned more often, and are cookie-cutter mandated by corporate or whatever, so there's almost always at least three stalls. Just a travel tip, I guess. Also it's never a bad idea to take your own tp and/or wipes, just in case.

Anyway. The ride was nice, I mostly relaxed, I even got to play some of my own music in the car and sing really loud to help de-jitter. I don't know that Cuddlebug likes my music, but he generally doesn't complain about my music (unless he feels like it's appropriating his culture), so we're good. I also got him to listen to one of my favorite podcasts, How Did This Get Made? (I picked the episode about the movie Geostorm), which he enjoyed.

About 30 minutes away from his mom's house, the air conditioner in the car stopped working. We figured it was probably just overheated from blasting for 5+ hours or whatever.

Spoiler: It was not. This comes back.

Once we got close, Google Maps took us on a weird route that involved driving through a very fancy neighborhood (where I was delighted to see several deer hanging out in people's yards! Man, rich people get everything...), and then suggested we drive through a gate that was very clearly labeled FOR EMERGENCY VEHICLE USE ONLY and zip-tied shut. Thanks, Google.

We also had a disagreement about what constitutes "suburban" vs. "urban". Cuddlebug thinks anything that's not explicitly Downtown is "suburban", because I guess he enjoys being wrong about things.

I got to meet Mama Bug, ofc (and her boyfriend). She's very nice, and infinitely more relaxed than Dr. Strangelove's mom. Also her cooking is 1000% better. Remind me at some point that I need that panna cotta recipe.

They did talk about the Bible a little bit, which was weird for me, but other than that it was nice. The bed in the guest room was made up elaborately with literally fifteen pillows (and a Bible on the nightstand, naturally).

We had a nice, Christian vacation, by all official accounts.

After the old folks retired for the evening, we settled in to watch a movie. He picked one out while I was in the bathroom, and he was trying to tell me about it.

Cuddlebug: This movie has that guy in it, Sean...something.

Me: Sean Penn?

CB: No, Sean...idk. The new James Bond.

Me: I didn't know they had picked a new James Bond.

CB: Not new new, he's the one who's been James Bond for a while.

Me: Daniel Craig?

CB: This guy's name is NOT Daniel Craig.

*Googles*

CB: Huh, Daniel Craig.

*pulls up movie*

Me: ...that's Jeremy Renner.

Sigh.

Anyway, we watched Wind River, which was super good, if very depressing.

Later in the week he said he wanted to watch a movie, and I asked if he was in the mood for something funny or something heavy, and he said "heavy", so we went with The Devil all the Time - which I felt made us 'even' in the category of "depressing rural crime movie involving two MCU actors and revenge murder".

There was also the small quirk that we're used to watching movies together on the big sectional sofa at his house, where we go through different variations of lying on each other and cuddling for the duration. However, this couch was the type with two recliners and a section between, and as a result we were separated. After the movie was over I told him that it was the longest we've ever gone without touching each other and I hated every minute of it.

Despite it being 100°+ outside, Mama Bug kept the house at a balmy 77°, and there was no fan (ceiling or otherwise) in the room where we slept. Consequently, I went to bed at 1 am, woke up at 4 am, and spent the next 3 hours trying to get back to sleep. It was...unpleasant.

There were also two different clocks in the house that chimed regularly, and they both chimed at different times and neither were correct. So that was fun.

Those were my only big complaints.

The next day I got to show Mama Bug all of my art, including a nice watercolor painting of some flowers that I made specifically for her - which she framed the next day and hung up in the sitting room so people would see it as soon as they walked in, within a foot of a framed picture of Cuddlebug. Very cute.

She spent most of the day super busy preparing for the big dinner party the next night.

Mama Bug: Did he tell you what your job is at the dinner party?

Me: He did not.

MB: You're in charge of reconnaissance. So once everyone else leaves -

Me: We can talk shit about them.

MB: So he did tell you!

Me: No, that's just what I would do, anyway.

We got along pretty well. She teaches at a boys' school and only has a son, so I got very "OMG a girl, finally!" vibes from her. She kept wanting to talk about clothes and shoes, and she was very happy to lend me a sewing kit when I needed to fix a dress - and then she walked into the room while I was sitting on the bed in my underwear, sewing, to ask me which of the (again, FIFTEEN) pillows we had ended up using. They're super playfully-antagonistic, giving each other shit all the time. She's very down-to-earth, and perhaps a bit more progressive than I was expecting.

That evening we went over to visit some of Cuddlebug's friends for dinner and board games.

What a great idea! Let's leave the house at the hottest part of the day, driving into the sun for half an hour, while the a/c in the car has stopped working. Yay.

We spent the first 10 - 15 minutes that we were there just trying to cool off enough to be social, and the rest of the time with a fan pointed at us.

He vowed to stop on the way home and buy me a fan, but failed to take into account that for some reason, every single store in the entire metropolitan area closes at 11 pm. His friends were nice enough to let us borrow their fan for the evening, and I did manage to get some sleep. Cuddlebug woke up early the next morning and his first errand was to go buy a fan, then to get his hair cut.

Everyone was gone when I woke up, so I got to try to make bacon and eggs for myself in a kitchen I'd never used (I would have just had cereal, but she specifically bought groceries for us so that we could have stuff to eat while we were there, so I felt obligated).

Incidentally, and I did NOT mention this to anyone, I left the gas stove burner on for several hours before I happened to notice the wavy lines in the shadow that the stove was casting on the counter and turned it off. Sorry I almost blew up the house.

Then the dinner party! I got dressed up and Cuddlebug told me I looked like a princess, which was amazing. There were more people there than I was led to believe there would be, probably 8 or so. I did put my ear plugs in after a while.

I ate eggplant parm for the first time and surprisingly really enjoyed it! I also had pâté for possibly the first time, and wow! Good things happening! (I would eat a lot of leftover pâté and crackers in the next couple of days.)

There was a weird situation in which we were conscripted into prayer, which resulted in a lot of incredulous facial expressions back and forth, and frantic texts to each other and our group chat.

Later I had the best carrot cake I've ever eaten, which was a wonderful experience.

Luckily Cuddlebug was not particularly concerned with sticking around for the entire shindig once dessert had been finished. We were sitting at the dining room table, and this boy, I swear...he turns to his mother and says:

CB: We're probably gonna head to the bedroom after this.

His poor mother's eyes nearly popped out of her head. That could not have been the best way to word that. He basically said to her "Nice party; we're gonna go bang".

Which we didn't! We just wanted to turn the fan on and lie down and not be in the middle of the weirdness of the party. He passed out almost immediately, because he's a very good napper.

After he woke up it was time for Late Night Car Repair, brought to you by the two people in the goddamn world who know the least about car repair.

Idk why he decided that it would be a good idea to try to address the issue himself, but the fact that it took 5 minutes and a screwdriver for us to figure out how to open the hood of the car should give you an indication of how well the whole thing went.

30 minutes later:

Cuddlebug: So, love, here's what we're going to do (and by "we" I mean "me"). We're going to return the $31 DIY kit to Wal-Mart, and we're gonna pay someone $10 to put freon in the car.

Took him a while, but he got there.

Some days we win, and some days we learn. That was a learning day.

The next day it was determined that the air compressor was broken, and they applied some kind of temporary fix that would hopefully last until we got home.

Predictable Spoiler: It did not. At all. Even a little.

But the night that we were messing with the car, we were lying in bed cuddling and we were apparently both thinking the same thing, because he thoughtfully said something about how it was nice to do stuff like that with me, because with his parents it would have been a huge argument from the first time the hood wouldn't open, and I thanked him for not yelling at me like my dad absolutely would have.

It seems we took our childhood trauma in opposite directions: I'm bothered by everything and he's super chill. It's a nice balance, as long as we're able to communicate when those things don't mesh.

There was one day, and I can't recall exactly where it fits in the timeline, where we had An Incident. We were unclear about when a thing was supposed to be happening, and he was very insistent that he was correct and I was wrong. He called his friend to settle it for us, and I was indeed wrong [in the long run, it turned out we were BOTH wrong, but we didn't know that yet], but he went a little too hard on teasing me about my wrongness. It upset me and I spent some time in the other room painting and listening to a podcast, leaving him on the couch by himself.

The good news is, though, when I had calmed down enough, I went to go lie on top of him - we talked it out, and he was super apologetic and asked what he/we could do differently going forward. He's a brat - with increasing intensity when he's happy/excited - but he'll always fuck off if he knows he's actually upsetting me, and I'm working on being able to articulate that in the moment instead of just shutting down.

The one thing I had said I wanted while we were in town was some really good tacos, but because of the a/c being out in the car, I didn't want to be in the car any more than necessary. So the day we were set to leave, he got up early and went to get tacos for both of us and brought them back so we could have lunch first. A good boy, all around.

Also, FUCK those were good tacos. I'd go back just for that.

The drive home was...an experience.

The a/c didn't work at all. We stopped every hour or so for bathroom breaks and cooling off, and refilling my water bottle with ice. We had the fan that he bought for the bedroom plugged into an adapter (which he bought for this purpose) so it would run in the car, where I held it on my lap and it blew hot air around in a way that was sort of helpful. We listened to podcasts and I took turns pointing the fan at each of us. The first stop we made, I went into the bathroom and every item of clothing I was wearing was completely soaked through, to the point that I said fuck it and took off my bra and stuffed it into my purse.

We made it home in decent time, 70% alive, and me with a very bad headache. It was without a doubt the worst car ride of my life that didn't involve a Bathroom Incident - but we made it through without being mean to each other, which is a bonus (and a shock for me, as I tend to get very cranky when I'm overheated).

The next few days were pretty chill, in between one road trip and the next.

One day he was on his way home from work, and asked me if I could help him get stuff out of the car. I met him outside, where he handed me a 2-liter bottle of Dr Pepper.

And then a second. And a third.

I looked at him expectantly, waiting for an explanation, and he says "Oh, can you hold more?"

So he hands me a fourth. And then a fifth.

And then I'm standing there in the street holding six 2-liter bottles (which I wasn't aware I could do), and I received 0 explanation. I guess they were on sale.

Cuddlebug tells me I'm so smart all the time. But it's almost always for dumb, simple shit. And it's not that he's mocking me, it's that he's A Bachelor and it has never occurred to him to do things.

Example: He has a bathrobe that he wears when he's chilling or whatever, and he would always just toss it on the bed or his desk chair whenever he wasn't using it. One day I kind of absently hung it on the hat rack on his bedroom door and he didn't say anything about it, but I noticed he started hanging it up there after that. Same with his backpack, which he normally throws on the shoe pile next to his door, and while we were cleaning up his bedroom one day I hung it on the doorknob and it just blew his damn mind.

It's this very zen approach that he has, where as long as something is "good enough" he'll never question it, but he does get excited about new ideas.

I got him a power strip because I was tired of having to unplug his lamp to plug in the phone charger. And a phone-holder that clips to his air vent in the car so it's not sliding around and falling under his seat when he brakes too hard. And new pillows. He's frugal, but I like to encourage him to raise his standard of living a little bit in ways that I think are impactful (especially if they positively affect me).

Random convos I noted:

Me: Have you ever been in a fight?

CB: Define "fight".

Me: That sounds like a "no".

CB: Like someone hit me and I fell down.

Me: If you didn't do anything, that's not really a fight, that's just getting beaten up.

CB: I didn't get beat up! He hit me once and I fell down and he ran away.

Me: That's still not a fight.

Also

CB: What are you watching?

Me: Sonic the Hedgehog.

CB: *very concerned* Baby, are you okay?? Do you need me to entertain you??

Hey, man. It's a very cute movie.

And then it was time for Trip #2: Wedding Boogaloo.

His best friend (the Groom) and he (the Best Man) had come up with a plan where, because Bride & Groom had to drive through our area anyway, they'd pick us up and we'd all go together and share a hotel room for the week. Apparently I'm the only one who thought it was a weird arrangement, but alright.

They ended up getting in a car wreck the day they were supposed to come get us (they're both fine), so they didn't leave until the next day, and we got to enjoy a big fancy rental car for our trip.

When we were loading into the car, I asked which sides they wanted us on. Bride looked at Cuddlebug and was like "...you should sit behind Groom." And then she put in ear plugs.

I don't blame her; he is The Loudest Boy, and when the two men get together they're very rowdy. We had a good 6 or 7 hours to go.

The hotel we stayed at was fancy, but the rooms were super basic. We had a mini-fridge but no microwave. The bathroom door kept sticking, to the extent that each of us got trapped in it at least once. The fitted sheets would NOT stay on the beds. The tv broke on our last day there and we had to be pretty assertive about getting it switched out. The staff were all nice and willing to help out when needed, but it didn't seem like they had a lot to work with.

Our first full day there, the power went out as we were heading out for lunch - not just at the hotel but that whole side of town. Luckily they have a backup generator so the elevators still worked, because we were up on the 5th floor.

When we got back around 6:30 pm, it was still out. Summer is truly the worst season.

I don't remember what led to this conversation, but

CB: something something you have blue eyes -

Me: Excuse me?

CB: Wait, what color are your eyes? *looks* Okay so your eyes are green. When did you change them? Did you used to have blue eyes?

Me: Yeah, until I was 5 or 6.

CB: Wait, are you memeing?

Me: ...no?

Apparently it's not common knowledge that most Caucasian babies are born with blue eyes.

I'll take this next part out if he decides he's not comfortable with me sharing, but I thought it was funny.

I got to learn some things since meeting this best friend of his, Groom. They were friends in high school - back when Cuddlebug was a goody-goody hetero introvert - and always made the kinds of excessively-gay joking comments and noises to each other that straight guys seem to consider a solid foundation for friendship.

So when Cuddlebug was in college and ended up dating this cute frat guy, he was telling Groom about it over the phone, and it took a considerable amount of time for him to understand that Cuddlebug wasn't just fucking with him.

And it's nice that Groom, being the stand-up guy that he is, is still 100% comfortable with them making the same kinds of comments to each other constantly.

Random things:

No one is less concerned about germs than Cuddlebug, whom I watched eat pretzel sticks directly off a hotel bedspread.

There was a day where I asked him to proofread a document for me, and he took it so seriously that I wanted to smush his little face. He even suggested a few places I could add commas, which was hot as fuck. I fucking love commas.

We did end up in one situation where I was getting ready and trying to figure something out and Cuddlebug was trying to get me to do it differently and I was able to say to him "You are making this unnecessarily stressful for me", so I feel like I'm getting better at communicating.

He has started being super quiet in the morning if he wakes up before me, to try not to wake me up because I'm such a light sleeper. It doesn't always work completely, but I can usually get back to sleep. It's very considerate and very cute, and I appreciate it immensely.

We got to have one nice rainy day, where we went to Bride's brother's house and ate ice cream cake and hung out in the hot tub.

Oh we also had a fun experience where someone was in the bathroom, so I asked if there was another, and was told there was one downstairs. They failed to mention that there was no toilet paper in that bathroom. So we got a questionable relationship milestone: Cuddlebug got to bring me tp while I was in the bathroom.

Then The Wedding.

It was pouring down rain to an absurd degree for a lot of the day, including the part where we were bringing in things from the car to set up the hall for the reception.

We helped with that, then scorfed some emergency McD's and went to get ourselves ready, and I was having a really swell time!

Cuddlebug was obsessed with every part of my outfit; he loved my hair and my makeup and my dress and my petticoat and my shoes - and he looked damn cute himself. I was feeling adorable and loved and great! We even took some pictures together.

Because we really only knew the Bride and Groom, we were both being anti-social and playing on our phones - me taking pictures and catching Pokemon, and him researching stats on same-sex relationships to help a friend win an argument against her homophobic cousin (in between Best Man duties). Cake was being eaten, everything was great.

Except I was intermittently thinking about the wedding I went to almost exactly a year prior with Dr. Strangelove, where I was wearing the same outfit and everything (my summertime non-white formalwear selection is limited).

I asked Cuddlebug if he'd dance with me on a slow song, and he said no, even when I pouted. I was more upset than I thought I'd be, and I couldn't really pinpoint why. I started to freak out and I couldn't talk to him because I was trying so hard not to cry - which I didn't want to do because we were at the table at the front of the room facing everyone. I had to go to the bathroom where I could sob unobserved and sort through my feelings.

What I landed on was that "dancing at weddings" was one of those rare circumstances in which Dr. Strangelove would look at me with this really powerful expression of absolute adoration, and it was incredibly special to me.

I wasn't that upset that Cuddlebug wouldn't dance with me - I don't care that much about dancing - and if it were under any other circumstances I probably would have shrugged it off. But in that moment I was having to face the fact that in 8 years, there were maybe a dozen times that Dr. Strangelove looked at me that way, that way that made me feel adored and special and worthy.

And Cuddlebug looks at me that way every. goddamn. day.

I eventually gathered my faculties enough to text him from the bathroom.

Me: I'm sorry, I'm freaking out. I'm gonna need a bit.

CB: It's no worries love and thank you very much for telling me. I went to the room and will be back in an hour.

Me: Okay. I'm not mad at you. I'll try to explain when I'm not actively crying.

CB: Ok love. I'm not mad at you either and can give you all the space you need.

He's a cute boy, and his ability to communicate openly is such a blessing. Super supportive.

I joined him in the hotel room, where he helped me take my fancy shoes off and then let me cry on him until I could explain what was going on, and then he loved on me and we cuddled until I felt better, and then we watched Whiplash.

As an aside - and I mention this not (strictly) for boyfriend-praising purposes but because it's interesting to me on an emotional level - around this point in our trip I was thinking about how I felt very happy and very dumb, for the stupid reason that I think my boyfriend is super hot.

Stick with me here.

It's like those stories you hear about girls who date guys and they're like "Idk kissing is just kinda gross and weird; that's how it is, ofc everyone feels that way because mashing your mouth up against a guy is not a fun thing to do" and then one day they kiss a girl and they're like "ohhhhh wait..." (Except he's still a boy.)

It's definitely one of those demisexual-adjacent things, where the more I've gotten to know him and care about him, the hotter I find him. But truly, the amount and intensity with which I ogle him is ridiculous. Not that I don't think I should find him so attractive, but just that I'm surprised by it because I've never felt it to this extent with someone I'm dating.

Stupid sexy boyfriend.

Usually the drive home from somewhere seems shorter than the ride there, but this one seemed longer - I think because I was just impatient to get back home, and because we spent most of the time talking instead of zoning out listening to music.

Finally we returned home! I went back to my house, yada yada yada I moved into my new house (with Meeko Neko!) later that week. The last couple of weeks have mostly been getting unpacked/organized/cleaned, and trying not to melt - sitting in my room with the blackout curtains drawn and multiple fans pointed at me, misting myself with a water bottle like I'm a small frog. We've got probably another month and a half before it starts to cool off, and Meeko Neko is content to keep the house between 78° and 80°.

Cuddlebug spent a couple nights at the new place with me, which was nice. I now have two blankets on the bed, so I can have a lighter one to myself and he can wrap himself up in the big duvet like a cozy little boyfriend-burrito and I don't have to try to wrestle it away from him in the morning when I'm cold.

Aside from thermostatic disagreements, Meeko Neko has been nice and fun, taking me out for the ethnic food I've missed in the too-white area I was living in, cuddling, feeding me vegan food, and helping with house stuff. We went to the movies the other night and saw The Black Phone, which was SO GOOD. I finally have a roommate I can watch spooky movies with!!!

I'm low on funds and I need to do more cleaning and organizing before I feel comfortable having anyone new over, so that's about it for now.

In other news, I'm going to be cutting back the blog to just Tues/Wed/Thur so I can spend more time job-hunting and working on other projects. Tuesday and Wednesday will stay the same, and Thursday will absorb anything that may have been content for Monday and Friday.

Hope you enjoyed this absurdly long recap!

[subject-2-change]

4 10 13 21 52 67 68 87 157 and 167 sorry it's a lot of questions but it was also a lot of questions :)

THIS IS SOOOO LATE. Forewarning, it is almost 2am my time and that means long answers to some things. I am not sorry. You quite literally asked for this.

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

Animal Crossing and The Sims 2. Now I'm older. And I like Animal Crossing: New Leaf, and The Sims 3 and 4.

10: Are you allergic to anything?

Yeah. Pine trees. As you can imagine, I'm thrilled about Christmas season.

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

Answered in the last one, but basically both. I was a dog person, but then got a cat who changed my whole view and then thought, "por que no los dos?" and now I'm both. huh. Funny. Same reason I'm bi.

52: Favorite movie? (same as #30, which I answered, but I shall again because why not? I took the time to make the gif.)

Best movie. Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True love. Miracles. What more could you want?

67: Favorite meme:

This is gonna date me and also show how fucking dumb my humor is. But this one gets me every time.

meme in general? I like the relatively recent "perks of being a marine biologist." The meta amuses me. Meta, irony, and absurdism are my favorites.

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

ENTP : The debater (me? What?! Never.../s)

87: Do your socks always match?

No, but it's a choice. If ever they don't, it is because I bought a set that doesn't match intentionally, because I like the aesthetic of the two socks, or the very rare occasion I am out of matching socks. V fashun.

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

I'm not a particularly anxious person. But two things about kill me. The ocean and learning new languages.

The ocean because WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THERE?! I have also been stung by jellyfish 5 times and almost drowned twice (that I know of). It's dark. It's deep. It's scary. I don't like it. Whales in particular. Not sharks. I love sharks. BIG THINGS in the ocean. Ya know how fish can grow to the size of their tanks? WHAT IF 70% OF THE WORLD WAS YOUR TANK I DON'T LIKE IT OH MY GOD

New languages because, though I have tried many, it is the one thing education wise I have always struggled with. I'm not SO bad and pick up colloquialisms pretty quickly when I travel. Really, I'm self conscious about my accent and I have a hard time with vocab. I hate rote memorization. I'm bad at that part. Conjugation, fine. Grammar, fine. Vocab, I'm the worst. ASL I picked up pretty fast, though. Makes more sense to me than the spoken English language does.

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

Actually? Not really. But theoretically? INFINITELY. Talk to me sometime about any creation myth, origin, or scientific theory you got and I am there for it! I love creation myths. I also study astrophysics (more of a hobby now). If you are asking because you want to discuss, hit up my DMs. It is one of my favorite topics. That and death of the universe.

21: Are you religious? GOOD QUESTION (put this under a break because it got long because you caught me in a mood. tw: religious talk)

"religious?" depends. I am Christian, but I've had issues with The Church™️. #spiritual I guess. I heard emphasized in church something once:

(Matthew 22:37-40): “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Since then, I've lived my life by two main rules: "Love God. Love people." I keep judgement out of mind as much as I can (he who cast the first stone and all that). Who am I to judge? Who am I to be unkind? God loves all of his children and we are all his children. What kind of person would I be to do anything less than love others?

It really grinds my gears when I meet Christians who don't meet these tenets. The only thing I judge people on is how they treat others. Fuck racists. Fuck homophobes. Fuck Islamophobes (and hatred against any other religion or lack thereof). Fuck body shamers and slut shamers. Fuck cringe culture. Fuck etc. It is literally not our job to determine who is 'virtuous' or whatever, based on our simple mortal perception. And, just from a basic human desire, let people enjoy things. Life has so few joys, let people be happy with everything they can find.

Subsequently, this made me realize... who am I to do anything but love myself unconditionally. That is something I'm definitely still working on. But how can you "love your neighbor as thyself" if you don't love thyself? That's why I started going to therapy. But now we are getting into too much late night conversation.