#this will probably be the last thing I write on this topic so dont worry

[britneyshakespeare]

can’t stop intellectualizing about barbie

[tichiox1]

Going shopping with the kaulitz twins headcannons

Hello thank you for the support on my last post you guys don't even know how much it motivates me to write more and thank you again.

Also a fun fact about me is that i get my ideas when i listen to music so you guys can give me song recs and ill listen to them and maybe ill even write about it thank you again!!

-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Bill kaulitz☆☆

-Probably more excited than you

-when you two go to the mall he immediately drags you to hot topic

-when he tries on outfits he'll show it to you and sometimes makes you his personal manikin .

-He always ask for your opinion on things when he wants something he'll ask you "Is this good?" "should i get this?" "Do you think this would match with this?" in short he doesn't know what to pick .

-While shopping he'll always go to the food court to get snacks he always gets hungry mid shopping.

-When he sees something he thinks you'll like he'll always show it to you and says "This would look amazing on you!" and once you try it he will buy it for you .

-Matching shirts is a must!!

-he gets distracted easily so keep an eye on Bill because if you leave him he'll be across the room the second you look back.

-He saw these star hairclips and bought them for you because he thinks they would look amazing on you.

-When carrying stuff he won't mind carrying it but carry the other bags please!.

-He's also really excited to go to some make up stores to buy dark eye shadows and eye liner.

-Even when you two are shopping for hours he's not getting tired but if you do say your feet hurts and you want to rest he'll understand and will find a cafe somewhere where you two can chat and eat , and after that the shopping continues.

Tom kaulitz ♡♡

-He's excited because he's going to spend time with you!!.

-He doesn't mind going anywhere if you want to go there then there he goes with you he's like a puppy following it's owner .

-When you ask him about his opinion on outfits he'll always agree because he thinks that everything looks amazing on you! .

-When you're showing off outfits outside the fitting room he'll probably sneak in a kiss here and there.

-When you try to show things that you think would suit him he'll try it on for you (even if he doesn't like some of the things you show him he'll still try it on to not hurt your feelings).

-He'll ask you to go to the food court since he's hungry shopping takes a lot of energy.

-Don't worry about carrying the shopping bags he'll carry it he doesn't want you to get tired.

-Even if he's tired because of walking alot he doesn't mind as long as your happy but he does hint at times that he wants to rest for a bit.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Thank you for reading even if it's very short ill make one shots and headcannons in the future don't worry but if i don't post for a while im sorry ill probably be busy because of school but dont worry im working on a fanfic about bill well again but also tom so just wait ! Thank you again!

[lateatnewyork]

Teenage Love Triangle

charlie bushnell x fem!reader

summary: you and charlie star in the taylor swift trilogy short film along with sabrina carpenter. (cardigan, august, betty)

warnings: smau, fluff

a/n STOP IVE BEEN WANTING TO WRITE THIS FOR AGES BUT SCHOOL IS JS SO UGH um so reader is an orphan her parental figures are taylor and travis (she’s not adopted by them it’s js they’re like that to her)

liked by sabrinacarpenter, ynln and others taylorswift can’t wait to add this to my short films directed by me collection (it’s really not that big) view comments

user34 OMG WHOS JAMES??? ➔taylorfanpage BIGGER QUESTION: WHOS AUGUSTINE??? ➔ user09 EVEN BIGGER QUESTION: WHOS BETTY????? gracieabrams been waiting for this 🤭 ➔ ynln same 🤭 ➔ hearts4yn they know something walkerscobell AHHH FOLKLORES MY FAVOURITE ➔ walkersno1fan WALKER’S A SWIFTIE?? ➔ leahsavajeffries only bcos of me

comments

user67 CHARLIE AND YN I REPEAT CHARLIE AND YN. hearts4yn IM ABSOLUTELY GEEKING OVER YN AND CHARLIE ynandsabrinarmyqueens “james and betty this” or “james and betty that” honestly screw james, betty and augustine should get to together ➔ sabrinafan REALL hearts4yn PLS MARRY ME YN 💍 ynloml i need a romcom with charlie and yn ASAP simpforsabrina i’ve watched this 20 times in the day it’s been released js to see yn 😭

liked by iamcharliebushnell, leahsavajeffries and others ynln folklore: teenage love triangle has to be one of the best sets i’ve been on (not js cos taylor was the director), i absolutely loved working with bri and charlie. and director taylor is an absolute dream. (wish she was the director for every movie i act in) view comments

taylorswift you, charlie and sabrina were perfect for this role absolutely loved this and working with you guys ➔ ynln LOVE YOUUU leahsavajeffries someone tell me if i can inject this film into me ➔ ynln 🤭 ➔ walkerscobell it’s giving druggie aryansimhadri now i have to do the holy trinity for karaoke night 😔 (i’ve been looking for an excuse for this since forever) ➔ ynln LMAO PLS DO dior.n.goodjohn google can i inhale a short film? ➔ ynln NUMBER ONE FAN RIGHT HERE sabrinacarpenter you and charlie were made for each other this comment was deleted sabrinacarpenter IT WAS SO FUN TO FILM WITH YOU ➔ ynln YOU WERE THE STAR FRFR ➔ sabrinacarpenter 🙈 hearts4yn context for picture 1?? ➔ gracieabrams yn js found out she had to make out with charlie on screen ➔ iamcharliebushnell wow i see how it is ➔ ynln it’s not what it looks like i swear walkerscobell context for last pic??? ➔ ynln taylor was literally telling you not to run around with the cameras

singing trio gracie, bro

gracie sabrina ur not slick bri I DELETED IT yn deleted what?? bri the important thing is to not panic yn did u js quote grover from pjo bri i’ve been watching it so i can prepare for when ur silena gracie 🙄 sabrina commented how u and charlie were made for each other yn SABRINA ANNLYNN CARPENTER YOU DID WHAT bri gracie i was literally getting to it yn yk what it’s fine i mean we should probably go public, taylor knows and she approves gracie exactly you have nothing to worry about yn i have travis to worry abt 😭 bri im sure charlie could fight him

demigod fakers char 💕, diorolor, cutie leah, walkie-talkie, rolling in the deep

diorolor dude WHY IS THE INTERNET SO CLUELESS walkie-talkie HELP THATS SO RANDOM cutie leah NO COS FR LIKE WDYM THAT YOU THINK YN AND CHARLIE ARE SUCH A GOOD ON SCREEN COUPLE rolling in the deep theyre a good offscreen couple too diorolor HARD LAUNCH HIM cutie leah OR SOFT LAUNCH WE DONT RLLY CARE diorolor JS LAUNCH HIM yn i didn’t know u guys felt so strongly abt this topic😔 walkie-talkie LAUNCH HIM rolling in the deep LAUNCH HIM diorolor LAUNCH HIM cutie leah listen to the ppl yn char 💕 why are there so many notifications yn dw babe

liked by sabrinacarpenter, dior.n.goodjohn ynln the gc forced me to soft launch him view comments

sabrinacarpenter i’d like to praise leah and dior 🙏 gracieabrams FINALLY leahsavajeffries NO WAY LET YOU TIE A RIBBON AROUND HIS MUSCLES walkie-talkie i think i know who it is ➔ ynln YOU LITERALLY TOLD ME TO LAUNCH HIM 😭 killatrav who’s this ➔ ynln i can explain…

liked by taylorswift, gracieabrams and others ynln they hung out without me but watched little women??? comments are closed

liked by iamcharliebushnell, walkerscobell and others ynln meant to post that on my private 😅 whoops here’s my bf guys view comments

iamcharliebushnell i love you ➔ ynln i love you too baby walkerscobell LOLLL ➔ ynln THE SOFT LAUNCHING DID NOT LAST sabrinacarpenter ur too goofy 😭 ➔ ynln stop 😭 dior.n.goodjohn HELPP ➔ ynln STOP BULLYING ME IN MY OWN COMMENT SECTION gracieabrams the panic in ur eyes when u realised that you posted on the wrong account 😭 ➔ leahsavajeffries 😭 ➔ dior.n.goodjohn 😭 ➔ sabrinacarpenter 😭

liked by ynln, leahsavajeffries and others iamcharliebushnell love you ynn tagged: ynln comments are closed

liked by walkerscobell, leahsavajeffries and others ynln lil photo dump for the end of the year, see you guys next year 😜 comments are closed

a/n WALKER AND LEAH GOT BANNED??? also i got sleepy near the end that’s why there’s not many comments

[thequietkid-moonie]

Can you write headcanons for Akane, Teru, Kou(Tbhk) with a autistic s/o?

Autistic S/O

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Akane, Teru, Kou ]

[ Toilet Bound Hanako-kun / Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun ]

I may or may not cried a little when writing this because i needed this kind of comfort

Its being quite a lot since the last time i wrote for autistic reader, im always happy to do it <3

Akane Aoi

Akane has no shame nor hesitantion to openly express how much he loves you and how much he adores you, and since those feeling are reciprocated Akane would be even more affectionate and open with his love, showing you off as the most beautiful partner someone could ever ask for (wich he truly feels you are)

Akane doesn't mind at all the fact that you are autistic, actually he does think it makes you even more beautiful, in his eyes every time you stim you look even more adorable than how you already are! Although, this doesn't mean he doesn't take it seriously, he does, he knows this is a disability that can trouble your life but he doesn't mind, he is more than willing to help you out with whatever he can to make your life less troublesome

Even if he knew nothing about autism the moment he caught feelings for you he imediatly started to search information of the topic, becoming almost and expert, and, even so, he always ask you your opinion and ask you if some autistic common aspects affect you too and in what way, even if he feels bad for having to ask you he prefers it rather than just assuming and risking making a mistake

When Akane is in love that person become perfection itself, he is so in love that he is more than willing to get into whatever your special interest is in case you want someone to share it with, as well he is more than willing to heard you rant about your special interest, or any idea you have really, he will always listen carefuly, putting a lot of attention to whatever you are telling him, he can be an expert on the topic you are talking about or you can be telling him the same thing for the fifth time and he will still listen to you with a lot of attention and a smile

Akane is already quite exaggerated when it comes to showing his love and devotion, and, at the end, you being autistic just make him be even more intense since now he is worried that you may end up getting overwhelmed or even that someone either underestimate you or try to take advantage of you, he will become incredibly protective of you willing to take away anything that could overwhelmed you

Even when Akane is incredibly affectionate and loud with his love he is more than willing to adapt to what you need, if you dont want to be touched he will not do it, if you want to be hugged most of the time then his arms are at your service, ready to hold you and never let you go again, even if you feel like his desplay of affection and love is overwhelming, even just a little, he will imediatly apologize and change that! He wouldn't mind, after all, even if he becomes more quiet about it his feelings will not change

Actually, Akane is really good at comforting you, whenever you feel overwhelmed or even just upset Akane stops whatever he is doing to put his attention on you, but unlike other times, when you truly have problems and need help he gets really serious and is focused on helping you, somehow he always knows what to say and when, he even knows if he is allowed to hold you or not without you even having to tell him

Teru Minamoto

For Teru to have a relationship with someone it is because he is completely sure that he loves that person and is willing to work out on that since he barely have time for himself due his job as an exorsist, still once you two are in a relationship he tries his best to be the best boyfriend he can be

Teru doesn't see anything bad on you being autistic but is something that trouble him quite a lot, it something that it obviously affects you and he want to be of help but he probably wouldn't be able to be there most of the time (or is how he see it and that something he reproches himself whenever you are having a hard time)

Teru likes to act innocent and charming while having the situation under control, and even when he would love to have the relasionship under control he probably wont be able to do much due how diferent you see the things and process the situations, not that he sees it as something bad it just make him slighly nervous that he has to adapt to the way you see things (still, he will not complain about it, the more he learns about autism and how it affects you the more fascinated he can feel)

Teru is incredibly protective, it start by his hate for supernaturals and how he wanted to protect you form them but as he spend more time with you and notice more and more how you can be affected by external stimuli the more protective he become, indirectly and politely asking others to take away whatever is making you feel uncomfortable and even instinctively shilding you with his body so you dont have to look at anything that could make you upset or be too much for you

Teru is also incredibly protective in hopes to make it up for all the time he can't be with you, he makes sure you never forget how important you are for him and how much he love you, directly and openly expressing his adoration for you whenever you two are together so you won't doubt it when he isn't with you. Also, if you end up having a really bad time when he couldn't even be with you he will feel really bad and will reproch himself, but he will not let you see that

Teru isn't exactly the best to comfort you but he will try if he needs it, thats why he relay more on preventing you form getting overwhelmed or upsed rather than having to comfort you (still, if he has to do it he will try, saying what he thinks it will make you happy)

At the end, Teru find your stiming and the way you express quite adorable and he is always motivating you to just be yourself whenever you two are together, mainly when is just the two of you just because he doesn't want anyone to interrupt or even dare to look at you in an offensive way or notice the loving gaze he gives you

As well Teru motivate you to rant about whatever is in your mind, he likes hearing your voice and will not dare to interrupt you, besides he is a good listener and even if he may don't remember everything you have told him he pays a lot of attention when you are ranting (or at least try)

Kou Minamoto

Kou can be easily nervous and flustered by romantic stuff and yet that won't stop him from being the best boyfriend he can for you, and you being autistic is not a problem for him, however it is something can affect quite often just because whenever you are upset he feels upset too

Kou is already incredibly caring, since he is the one who is usually doing home chores he just grow used to it, and, honeslty, having a partner who is autistic just kinda trigger that caring side of him, Kou slowly will grow used to you and what you need, making sure there is nothing on him that could be too uncomfortable for you or even overwhelming

Kou probably doesn't know much about autism before meeting you, but now that you two are together he will invest quite a lot of time learning all he can about autism and how it does affect you personally, he will be a little shy about asking you personally but at the end he will do it since it would be the best (who better than you to know how you feel?)

Kou is incredibly respectful of you, normally going at your rythm and doing what do you want, he isn't much into pda or physical affection in general since it can easily flustered him but if you need a hug or even just want to hold his hand he will overcome the flustered state just to let you do it (don't mind his blushing, he insist that is fine as long as you are fine)

At the end, Kou learn to express his love more by acts of service and even gifts to respect your bounduries, he is always willing to cook for you your comfort food just the way you like it, or how he has no problem with carrying your things if you are too sensitive, even by how he just get used to instinctively shield you with his body when you start to feel overwhelmed or there is something you just can't look at

Kou doesn't really make a big deal out of your autism but is clear how important it is for him, he want you to feel happy and comfortable and he will help you in everything he can, and he is quite selfless with that too, he will love to represent safety and comfort for you since he is your boyfriend but if it will take quite a long time before you fell completely comfortable he will wait, it may hurt but he can be patient for you

Also, Kou end up being really good listener, he does have a lot of patient for whenever you have much energy or start talking about your special interest, he respect your liking and understand how important this is for you, but, in all honeslty, is more probably that he will end up get really invested on what you are saying and will end up asking more out of curiosity

Kou is more than willing to help you if something or even someone is making you uncomfortable, he tries to solve the problem in a peaceful way but that doesn't mean he won't get in a fight if is necesary (but he would prefer to avoid going to that extreme), but Kou is just better at comforting, he doesn't know what to say sometimes but he always speak from his heart, when he is worried about you his usual shyness is throw away and he is sincere and affectionate, he isn't afraid of expressing himself just the way he feels and even does it with a lot of confidence

[arizonaconservativegal]

If you’re a conservative with reasonable beliefs, more power to you, that’s great, we need more people like you.

But you’re doing yourself a major disservice if you take a post about anti-social behaviors from our party and showing you don’t socialize much and just stick your head in the sand and go “nuh uh that doesn’t happen!” Just leaves that avenue open to attack from Democrats.

Both my parents are registered republicans, and my mom has had to distance herself from fellow conserative friends specifically bc of that adrenochrome stuff. (Some of the friends were Korean btw, so i don’t wanna hear racism bs) My friend who isnt a republican but whose parents are both R has her mom sick of her dad bc of this stuff. Even at my job, the guys who talk about politics are work go to the exact topics mentioned in that post you said doesn’t happen. Democrats are just gonna pull up screenshots and use that to undermine everything else youre saying and say its fake and made up too.

Project2025, which I have read, wants to abolish overtime pay unless it interferes with the Sabbath - not religious stuff in general, only the Sabbath and only if you believe in the Sabbath for real. That’s literally only christians and jews. nobody else.

I’m not saying those are your beliefs, I’m not saying that’s what’s going to happen if trump is elected president. But Project2025 is a really big thing and not just bc liberals keep on pointing to it to fearmonger. abortion is one thing but how are we gonna tell people “we dont want christianity to be the main thing we just have morals” if we’ve got big think tanks going “actually we wanna test people for their religon at work” ? radical conservatism is gonna kill moderate conservatism and make people vote dem. my dad even voted for biden last election and hes been a republican since before the 90s. the weird stuff is immature but the things they’re calling weird do happen

Okay look I fully understand that no one wants to believe me here so I'm shouting into the void expecting something to happen and that's ridiculous but I'm going to do it anyway because I still have a few minutes until my conference call starts.

I've been working in Republican politics professionally for ten years. A decade. I'm not talking out of my ass when I say no one is taking Project 2025 seriously. I actually do know that directly. When the Heritage Foundation is mentioned in conversation, people roll their eyes. The thing about think tanks like that is that they don't have to deal with the reality of what they're suggesting. They essentially throw spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. If something does - then they'll write an actual policy prescription or draft legislation so that lawmakers have something to start working on. I know you probably don't know what the difference is (which I don't mean as a knock on you, it's just not something most people know), but Project 2025 contains none of that. Until the conversations I hear at work start to shift or I see one of those ideas become a policy treatment or draft bill, I'm not going to worry about it. From a practical standpoint, all Project 2025 is today is a Democrat fundraising point.

To your other point, there are roughly 70 million registered Republicans in this country, not counting third party members or conservative leaning independents. Some of them suck. A lot. I'm really not trying to pretend that's not the case. But to write a post claiming that all conservatives are like that is absurd and shows that you don't spend time around us. The very vast majority of conservatives are just normal human beings who go to the grocery store and work boring jobs and take the kids to little league practice and hold extremely boring opinions on politics. Just like the very vast majority of liberals. It would be equally unreasonable of me to go around telling everyone that all Democrats are the equivalent of the Bernie bro who shot up a bunch of Republican members of Congress a few years ago or that they're all the like the people who send me rape threats here or call my old campaign office to say their going to firebomb us. It would be really easy for me to believe that if all I did was spend time around other conservatives and my only interactions with the left were with their raging nutcases. But I spend time around liberals so I know they're not like that any more than we are like that jackass last night.

It is so easy these days to put yourself in a little bubble of people who think like you and only ever see the worst of the people who don't. That used to be difficult for conservatives to do because media was all very left-leaning so even if we didn't personally know a lefty, we still saw them portrayed positively on tv, whereas the left didn't see that of us. With streaming and algorithms and alternate media these days, we are heading in that direction too. Very little scares me more about the future than that.

The only way to fix that is if we all start talking to normal people on the other side the aisle again. That's all I'm trying to get people do to. You don't even have to talk to them about politics. Talk to them about baseball or something, I don't care. Just something so that when you think of the other party, you think of the human beings you know instead of some boogeyman. There are nearly 12,000 people following this blog. That guy last night wasn't one of them - why does he get to represent them? They didn't do anything wrong and they outnumber him, literally almost 12,000 to 1. The only reason anyone listened to him was that he 'confirmed' their bias and they didn't think about it any more than that. They saw one example of what they already believed and let that give them a reason to ignore the mountain of things contradicting them. So I'm pissed at that guy for that and for generally being a shithead.

But I'm still going to say it because it's still true: if you think that's how all conservatives are, you obviously don't spend a lot of time around conservatives.

[flowercrown-bard]

Thank you @restless-witch for tagging me ^^

Questions for 15 friends

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?: Not as far as I know (i like to believe I'm named after a character feom "Pippi Longstockings" but i know I'm not) If, for some reason, i don't want to tell someone my given name I tend to use names of characters I played in a ttrpg or in a play (my favourite name is Valentine from Twelth Night) if that counts?

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Monday, from 8pm until 10:30pm, with some breaks (i had a bit of an exhausting week with a lot of bottled up emotions and rehearsing for a play in which sickness, death and loneliness are prominent topics is both cathartic and very hard sometimes)

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?: Nope

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?: i used to play handball (hated it), vaulting (loved it), track and field athletics (hated it), hip hop dancing (it was fun i guess but i also felt incredibly awkward), Judo (loved it), Jiu Jitsu (loved it). Now I dance (for the theatre but I'll still count it) and go running sometimes and very rarely I do some sword fighting with a friend (i feel like I'm missing something but i dont remember anything else)

DO YOU USE SARCASM?: Yeah, but only with certain people. I am very bad at telling if someone else is just being sarcastic or is genuinely insulting me, so i often worry that my sarcasm comes across as such. I often follow it up with "just a joke" or something

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?: Probably hairstyle and clothes? Visual things by which i can try to remember them

WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOUR?: Brown

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?: Depends on my mood

ANY TALENTS?: One time I got out of bed and failed so hard that i broke a foot. Make of that what you will

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: Germany

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?:

Theater (including singing, dancing, acting, building the stage set, crafting the props)

cooking (i love doing it, i just don't do it very often)

playing the guitar

ttrpg

going on long walks/hiking -running -creative writing -indulging in the hubris of thinking i can teach myself a new skill without doing any research (aka. Whittling, embroidery, crocheting, making my own dnd dice) I feel like I'm missing something but oh well

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: Sadly no. But I'll give an honourable mention to the dog I'm taking on walks whenever i got time

HOW TALL ARE YOU?: 168cm probably. I haven't measured my height in ages

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?: Theater and literature. Honourable mention to maths, not because i liked o4 understood the subject but because my teacher was the absolute best

DREAM JOB?: Kindergarten teacher (and maybe publishing a book one day)

Tagging: @dhwty-writes @parttime-creative @sinilumi @combatbootsfemme @lycanbucky @lokibus @a-kind-of-merry-war @witcher-and-his-bard and everyone else who sees this and wants to do this <3

[ghostlysenses]

Can you Please Trust me?

TMNT X READER

Ayo, check my pinned please!

TW: Angst, fighting, self deprication, kidnapping

Im a little rusty on my writing and It was kinda rushed but I wanted to get something out… hope its okay!

You wake up in your own bed, April sitting next to you

she looks over and sees you’re awake and hugs you

she explains everything that happened

but you already knew

you remembered everything

Month 1

April and y/n we’re both in the same robotics class, in-fact thats how they became friends last year, having classes with each other!

Last year it was mathematics

lets just say you aren’t the best at math but you’re passing!!!

“Hey Y/n wanna have a sleepover at my place? I got a new game we can play”

“Ill buy the pizza?”

“mhmm”

“Bet! im down for a sleepover!!”

You high five each other, then the conversation turns to code. You help each other in the class and then head to your next period.

The day was going great

but when night came things kinda got out of hand

You walked to April’s house, bag in hand.

*knock* *knock* *knock*

Mrs O’ Neil opens the door and greets you happily, she allows you in her house and you thank her kindly.

You walk into the living room, setting your bag down by the couch. April comes out of her room and hugs you, she holds up the game only for you to be surprised! It was the brand new (Fav game)

You squealed in excitement with april and you both sat on the couch, ready to play.

At around 3AM you and april were still playing the game, what can you say it was good!!!

But then you heard some strange knocking on her window, you both turned and looked before april laughed and said

“Oh its probably the shutters, let me go fix them!”

You kept your eyes trained on her as she opened the window, you turned back to the tv but then heard…shouting??? you turned back confused, whose she talking to?

“Everything okay april?” you ask, curiously

She nods and shouts a “YES! Yes! totally fine!”

you hear two people mumbling, someone saying “quit shoving!” and then BAM four turtles humanoid things fall into the living room through the window

“uh” *laugh* “I didnt know we were having company april”

Thats how you met the turtles, and you all hung out for the rest of the month

You all played games

went out on missions

and even had movie nights together!

but then suddenly

they shut you out, only to hangout with you when April was around, and they didnt want you going down to the lair anymore

“We’re just really busy”

“Donnie blew up the place, again”

“There’s paint everywhere!”

“I spilt a very dangerous chemical”

They always had some sort of excuse but even then April was still allowed down, why weren’t you?

They ignored you all of the second month.

It was just you and april and honestly, you missed them, the adventures, all of it!

And then then now

all contact with them ceased, they didn’t respond to texts or calls.

April was still hanging out with you, you had both gone to a skating rink on the 23rd

What you failed to notice was that you two weren’t alone

Cassandra and her two leaders were there too

on a stake out

They watched closely as you conversed with an associate of the turtles, they figured if you know her you have to be a threat too!

They will remember your face

they dont forget one c:

As you and April were walking home the topic of the turtles came up

and obviously you had asked why they were avoiding you, if anyone knew the answer it had to be her! right?

April had looked at you sadly “I don’t know, I even asked about it and all they did was give me vague answers like ‘I dont trust her’ ‘shes no good’ etc” she looked down and so did you

“well at least I kinda know why now” You laugh sadly

she smiles at you “but we’ll stay friends, dont worry”

you smile back

You both wave goodbye and walk the opposite way from each other, heading home. You checked your watch, 12:30 it said

Boy were you glad it was a weekend

Walking home would take you about an hour

but you weren’t alone

Or at least you felt like you weren’t, it was unsettling to say the least.

As you turned around a corner you found yourself face to face with two guys who had fire on their heads and a girl who, if looks could kill, was glaring at you like you had a death wish.

Now you had no clue who these people were but you stumbled back, knowing this could be dangerous, you got up but as soon as you did so, all you saw was black, Cassandra had knocked you out with one single hit, crazy huh?

You woke up the next morning, Chained up to a chair in what seemed to be an old warehouse, now this was truly crazy, why were you here? what did they want from you?

You looked around trying to find an escape, trying to find anything that will help you.

Thats when the dude who was skinny and had flames coming out from his head entered the room.

He started interrogating you

“Where are the turtles?”

“Wheres their base?!”

“what are their weaknesses”

etc

You honestly were just in shock by everything happening that you didn’t answer, this caused him to get mad and stomp out

You were stuck here for a bout 3 weeks, hoping April and your parent(s) put missing posters up and that someone will find you.

With the turtles

April had come into the lair a week after you went missing and filled the brothers in, she was panicking, she didn’t know what to do, there was no sign of you

no sign of life

the talk of the town was ‘What happened to y/n’

After seeing April breakdown the boys knew this was serious, sure they don’t trust you, or probably like you

but they had their reasons (we’ll get to it)

Doesn’t mean they wont try and save you though

Donnie didn’t put a tracker on you, which meant this was going to be harder than normal.

So what else coul-

AHA! the NYC cameras!

Donnie looked through the cameras for 3-4 days!

He found you, he finally found you.

They had taken you off into a dirt path that lead to god knows where.

Once the brothers got to said path they all started walking, eventually making their way to the warehouse.

Raph bursts in and immediately takes notice of how quiet the place is, until they hear what sounds like chains? upstairs?

They rush up, checking every room and once they find you

they look on in shock

You looked tired, exhausted

You had been eating properly though

and it doesnt seem like they hurt you

but it looks like you have been awake for days

The foot brute walks in holding a tray as the brothers start undoing the chains

this starts a fight

The foot men are attacking at raph and leo

while Cassandra is fighting Mikey and Donnie

in the midst of this you come up with a way to get everyone out of here

The roof!

you grab Raphs arm, but he flinches and pulls away

you try with Leo but yet you get the same thing

you try again with Raph and this time he shoves you away and you retaliate by raising your voice and grabbing him again

“Can you please trust me?!”

he looks at you in shock

“just this once?”

Raph sighs

Once the foot is distracted Raph lets you lead him to the roof, his brothers following

As you guys are walking you whisper to Raph

“so…why do you guys suddenly not trust me”

all of them pause at this, then donnie flat out says

“we did a background check on you…”

they did what?! Sure you have stolen here and there but you never killed anyone!

“so me stealing things is a reason for you not to trust me?”

“of course! no rational person would trust a klepto!”

“Have you ever thought that people steal because they need too? not because they want too?”

this made everyone go silent

you sighed and shook your head

finally you reach the roof

and this is where ur plan plays out

You tell them to head down the ladder and they actually listen to you. Once they’re down you head back inside

Ignoring the fact they’re screaming at you

You sneakily make your way down to the basement, tiptoing to make sure no one hears you

Once there you find all the valves, water pipes, etc

and start turnin that shit!

pulling levers

flipping switches

pressing buttons

everything.

You then run out right before the place can explode

getting a few burns on the back of your arms

and as soon as you’re a safe enough distance away you pass out

You wake up in your own bed, April sitting next to you

she looks over and sees you’re awake and hugs you

she explains everything that happened

but you already knew

You tried texting the turtles but they didnt answer you

Even now they’re still pushing you away?

I guess the past does haunt you

Or maybe

they feel guilty they never trusted you.

[chaifootsteps]

ngl that tree’s hair post is too legit. I remember following you before you were obsessed with criticizing vivzie,, It’s been so long I don’t even remember what I followed you originally for but I dont mind other than worrying about your mental health. In the past I’d write huge analyses of fandom stuff or just really any topic ngl (especially controversial ones) and people would argue with me left n right. The way it made my blood pressure boil, the agonizing need for the last word just for a little drop of vindication. It became a horrible cycle, and I’m seeing that happen with you and it just concerns me.

I’ll admit once I stopped worrying about the hypocritical people in my phone/computer my life became much more peaceful. I was less consumed with morality and decided to just exist and focus on my hobbies. I hope you can put your passion to something more worthy of your time and care.

You’re welcome to disregard this message if you find it upsetting, offensive, or you just plain disagree. I don’t really have an opinion about Vivzie or HB/HH cause I don’t really watch or engage with that fandom, so this message isn’t really biased to anyone. Just wanted to say this all cause you seem like a very headstrong person and I believe if you put that determination into something else besides discourse you can amount to great things.

Thanks,

Tree-Hair Anon (?)

Well, I certainly appreciate the concern, and also the fact that you haven't jumped ship by now, something you would be more than justified in doing! But I've got to admit, this does come across as fairly condescending.

It might not always seem like it but I promise you guys I have things I do with my time and energy other than this. I go to the gym, work my day job, engage with other human people, touch a considerable amount of grass. I have multiple passion projects I'm working on that I don't talk about here, because like hell I'm exposing my (or other peoples') fledgling little newborn baby projects to a whole horde of touchin' fingers before they've even had their first round of vaccinations.

I'm not even particularly obsessed with criticizing Vivzie, at least no more than I am with criticizing anything else I bitch about here. People just wanted to talk about that, and then they really wanted to talk about that, and then before I knew it I had Vivzie's ex-friends and people from Spindlehorse sending me top secret things and telling me not to share them. So that part of this is trying to do what I can for them, but for the most part, I just enjoy sitting around gossiping and hearing what everyone's got to say. If it gets to be too much, I close the inbox, no big deal.

All this to say, I appreciate the thought, but I'm good! Seriously. Someday (probably sooner than later) this will all be over and I'll be okay with that, but for now, it's all good.

[thatskindasilly]

Now back to serious stuff

(First picture: Olek is writing about a party they are all going to. He's stressed because there will be Mikael and Olek was ghosting him. He know that he'll have a lot of questions and Olek is even thinking about not going. Newest post - Olek wrote that something went wrong and that it'll get even worse when he'll post newest video)

Okey.

OLEKS #1 POST: Im wondering what Olek is talking about. Mika asking difficult questions? Has anything happened in the meantime? Could this be related to Canis' last video, the one with a passage from the Bible in the title? That one about the flood? I hope we'll get some answers in the newest video. Because like... WTH 😭 OLEK WHY ARE YOU NOT TALLING US ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING, YOU'RE LITERALLY THE ONLY ACTIVE, TRUSTWORTHY MEMBER (I think Mika forgot about Tumblr, Kitku is posting on tiktok but i feel that we shouldnt take them too seriously and Mod and Ukleja are not in charge of any social media... I think.)

OLEKS #2 POST: What happened at the party? I mean... Olek wrote that it was bad, that something went bad. Have they argued again? I guess we'll see after theyll put the whole thing together. (I hope theyll also finish subtitles soon. Your promotion is great but theres a lot of slenderverse fans that are... Well, not from Poland. But i understand its hard. If you'll need any help with it i'll be more than happy to help!!!)

NEW TIKTOKS: Kitku. What happened? Im getting worried about the whole situation. First, Olek wrote that its bad (about 2 AM). Than, Kitku posted three new tt. Animated tt. (First about 1 AM, second 1.30 AM and the last one at 4.30AM????). Something must have happened if Kitku was sitting and animating instead of enjoying themselves. I mean... Kitku doesnt look like an introvert, you know?

KITKUS ANIMATIONS: What are the tt about? First one: to the sound from dhim - situation from some time ago when it invited everyone to watch Canis' first video. Nothing special, another 'hey i hate Mod so much' thing. Was Mod the one that did something weird at the party? Second one: Kitku animated um... Im not sure what? I mean im not sure about situation put there. Its something about LonelyDarkness and TheCaddelShow and Slenderman. Other new gen slenderverse series. (I need to catch up because both looks interesting). But yeah, its still silly. Third one (tw! Mentioning of unaliving yourself and death): 4:30 AM - "i should probably go to sleep" yeah you should. But... Um... The song choice? I mean, i love it, dont get me wrong but two silly videos and than... This? 'Im gonna k-ll myself just like Canis'? Being so casual about mentioning that your (boy)friend ended himself? And, maybe im reading too much to it but the way its animated? Time, topic and animation together are giving me weird vibes. Something must have happened.

To sum up WAKE UP AND POST VIDEOS IM WORRIED GUYS. @promiseland-larp @promiseland-larp @promiseland-larp

Something for sure happened and they talked about it and it didnt end up well.

[the-s1lly-corner]

*tagging this since a lot of reoccuring folk who interact or ask things dont follow me (no hate I get it!!)

Oh oh also! I feel the need to bring this up since I'm getting loads of new followers from my spot/Jonathan x y/n ohnn posts!

Future admin note; TLDR below IS the entire post because it summed up everything I needed/wanted to say better than the initial ramble and I'm too silly to reword it into

Not being a TLDR

TLDR since a lot of it is admin rambling and getting off topic; this is a multi fandom blog that primarily centers around the admins current hyperfixiation (due to how strong the admin experiences brainrot), but defaults to creepypasta content when the admin either

A) doesnt have a particular rot

B) is embarassed of their current rot (I'm cringe and not free)

C) the fandom is very obscure or small

On average a hyperfixiation for the admin can last from a few weeks to a few months, and usually when one dies it can take a long time to reignite if at all. Because of how intense their interests get, it can become incredibly difficult for the admin to write outside of the current fandom.

Basically I just wanna warn you guys that I'm uncertain how long I'll be writing for spot and for how long my hc lists for him will remain decent quality and I want you guys to know ahead of time before the spiderverse rot inevitably dies <\3

It won't be an outright ban on spot writings though!! I'll probably rework my pinned to have two lists; one for main interests and a side for characters I'm comfy writing with

The only real thing that will change is a fluctuation in passion and posting frequency

I will say when my spiderverse fixiation dies I can almost guarantee that it'll be revived when beyond comes out

That's just a fact, whenever a new part to an old interest is released it always comes back

Seen it with the owl house (the finale episodes coming out), seen it with Fran Bow (creators getting REAL active with releasing character stuff and merch recently), Overwatch (I blame ramattra for bringing back that one. Before that the last time I touched OVW was in like. 2016? So literally when the game first came out) and probably a few others

Those are the only two examples I can think of

Anyways

Yeah!! Thats really all! I guess I'd just feel guilty if I suddenly had a visible attitude shift in passion and hype around spot <\3

And I dont want to throw any one off with that random shift when it comes, esp because so many of you like my silly rambles

As of now the interest is fairly strong so yall dont gotta worry yet!!

So yeah!!

Remember to drink water and get plenty of rest, take your meds and have an amazing day!

TLDR for the TLDR that turned into the entire post;

Admin is autistic (/srs) and bounces around fandoms a lot as interests come and go, said interests sometimes totally consuming their entire brain to the point they cant think/create/interact with anything outside the hyperfixiation, and when a new fixiation comes in the old one dies leaving behind little to no incentive to create for it

Admin really doesnt like how their brain works for this but :(

[daily-ethoslab]

hihi! this is a bit of a weird question totally fine if you don't wanna answer this, but how dyu find like, what to draw etho doing for this account?

I mean ofc he's etho he's a little cryptid, but still you're on day 200! big achievement!

im currently on like day 40 of my daily account and it gets hard to keep coming up with different things to draw the character in. So much kudos to you for keeping this up for 200 days!! really cool dude

This is a very normal question! Don’t worry about it :D

I’m not the best at explaining things BUT ill try my best!

The way I go about choosing a topic or subject for my etho drawings kinda goes in this order! If one dosent currently work then I move onto the next.

1. Something from the newest upload! (Screenshot redraws or moments that made me laugh)

2. Idea list () Sometimes I get an Idea or two but i wont have the time/energy to develop it so i write it down! As you can see… a lot of them I kinda skip over but thats ok! Not every idea is going to work :). I try not to think about it too much, the thinking is for later me.

3. Pinterest. Not to shill but Pinterest is great for inspiration. I have different folders for poses, outfits, and more! So if I cant come up with something I can go to Pinterest! (This does take a bit of set up cause you need an account and all that ish)

4. Try to experiment with your art! I’m kinda guilty of not doing this one. Its very easy to just use the same mediums and same poses and same colors because they’re comfortable and fast! Try using a different medium! (Traditional art is great for this) maybe set some restrictions on your art like drawing using only straight edges, color palette, using your non dominant hand! Its always a great way to shake things up!

5. Other people! Sometimes you can ask others for requests or ideas! More often then not if people follow you they probably have something they want to see! I also want to include drawing something from fan fiction in this category cause thats other peoples brains. Just make sure you credit people!

6. Memes. these also tend to be the more popular posts ive noticed haha. But sometimes drawing characters in a meme format can be a good because it gives you a joke and sometimes a pose. (I try not to use these too much cause I don’t want it to get stale and i dont want to become reliant on them.Not shaming anyone who does 😓)

7. Last resort….. I HATE when it comes to this but sometimes your ideas are nonexistent and your inspirations are evaporated. Think of this as a break in case of emergency option. Don’t. Stop. Drawing. If you keep drawing the same thing over and over the mind numbing boredom will force your brain to pull SOMETHING out. (Not recommended! Can cause burnout!)

This isn’t in a strict order as i kinda bounce around! I hope this helpful in some way! If you need me to explain something a bit more I would be more then happy to!

This account is actually really huge for me! Would you believe me if i told you I’ve NEVER made it past day 10 of Inktober. Look at me now! Day 211! I think one of the best things to keep in mind is that not every post has to be perfect. Some days art just isn’t working but you still want to post! (Ive been trying to get a back stock of ethos for these days but it’s been difficult q_q ) Its ok to post something bad! Its ok if you don’t really learn anything from it! Its ok to be human! Don’t push yourself to post everyday! I don’t think ill be able to when school starts up for me again!

Last but not least, have fun. Its your account! No one is forcing you to do what you are doing so just have fun!

[berryunho]

HI BESTIE it's san anon and IT'S BEEN A WHILE

i hope you're still enjoying your time in sk hehehe i see your posts sometimes and am like *nods* having a good time, nice

it's been a busy couple of weeks sjdghsfj HONESTLY i don't think that ppt will ever like. get there. IM SORRY DSJHGFJ i loved the idea of it but i don't think i can find the time to make you the amazing ppt you deserve SIGH i do however have reasons written down for why you SHOULDN'T k word san so bet you'll be hearing from me shortly

ANYWAY that was all i just wanted to pop by and ask how you're doing <3 i hope life is going well for you !!!!!!! love u mwah

(also this is me trying to fix my english bc you > u istg i've evolved)

WAUT SAN ANON AGAIN I JUST SAW THAT ASK ABT NOT TRUSTING SAN'S MANIPULATIVE ASS i love him i'm so sorry it's so bad but i LOVE cult freak san the same way i love hongjoongism (yes i'll keep using this name) and hongjoong's wicked little brain i love it all idk i'm just. waiting for the day you don't k word san off but instead turn him into this crazy wicked insane evil cult freak instead of the cute cult freak we've seen up until now KJHDSGFKJHSD kq please give us a dark concept. i need an actual culteez concept. don't just break that wall murder it san anon again because what the FUCK i missed so many san reblogs HELP???? it makes sense now bc apparently i had the for you page open instead of the following page wtf tumblr

HSKDJFASDLFJS HIIIIII

dont worry about being busy and PLSDJFASLKDF THE PPT LOL ITS OKY I DIDNT REALLY EXPECT YOU TO MAKE ONE E VERJKLJASFLKD PSKLJFSKLDF .... i also love cult freak san and evil hongjoong LKSJDFLASKDJF last night i was writing .... a scene that will happen in ... the next few chapters probably and i was (s)creamin-- I MEAN i was having a very good time writing it even though its like the most diabolical angst to ever come from my hands i was giggling biting my lip SO ANYWAYS thats gonna be so fun to release into the world but it has to simmer for a bit still ... not to confirm nor deny any san allegations of course mwuahaha AND ANYWAYS YES I AGREE bring back mvs where kpop boys would kill people ... or like graphic vampire concepts ... PLEASE I NEED IT SO BAD FJASLDJFSJ AND ???? NOT THE FOR YOU PAGE omg i do the same thing though like it switches and i dont realize and im like "where tf is sanchelinz rn" SKJFKALSDFJ

but anyways to answer your question ... im very good still ehehe my classes are all going well i even went up korean levels LAKJDFLASD and changing topics im not really a makeup person but i walked into olive young 2 days ago and blacked out and now i own a bunch of makeup and im trying to learn how to use it and i actually ... feel so cute KASDJLFSADJ like i have some on rn and its all pink and glittery and i did my eyelashes the wonyoung way and I FEEL SO CONFIDENT ACTUALLY its crazy like i think im pretty wo makeup lol and idk i normally feel so goofy when i try to do makeup but im actually proud of what ive been able to learn in ... 3 days lol

AND ??? you probably saw lol BUT I WENT TO IDOL RADIOAFLSJDFK;ASJ that was ... so anxiety inducing LKJKLAJSDFKJS there were SO many people and our foreign asses didnt reserve seats and didnt think to bring. idk. LADDERS BC PEOPLE BRING FUCKING LADDERS (*%)($*@)#()@ and anyways idk WHAT i was doing so wrong just by standing in one spot and not moving but i was being CURRRSSEDDDD out by ktinys like i accidentally looked at one of them for too long apparently and she turned to her friend and was like "this fucking foreigner is staring crazy bitch" I WAS LIKE (*$)(*$_)(#)(@_(#_????@$?$?@?4 and another girl saw me and was like "i fucking hate when foreigners come they never know whats happening" (*409*@)@(-#(0 I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT I WAS LITERALLY LIKE ............................ simply pretended i didnt know what they were saying bc i wouldve started swinging and gotten deported if i engaged like ... HOOOOO DEEP BREATHS IM NOT MAD anyways yunho and hongjoong waved to me and i got so many good pictures and i was just happy to get to see them ehehehe all that matters is that THIS is hongjoong waving at me and my friend

and anyways i stay winning <3 life is amazing im so happy everyday <3 I HOPE YOURE GOOD AS WELL BESTIE !!! PLS LMK HOW YOU ARE AND DW ABOUT BEING BUSY AND HAVE A NICE REST OF YOUR WEEK AND ILY <3333 MWAHHH :]]] <33 <33 <33

[telestotelezzz]

You want a long anonymous message? I can cook one up!!

I genuinely think you’re one of the most kind people i’ve ever met. You deserve so much more credit than you give yourself. You’re like the best friend I never had, if that even makes sense to say? You’re fun to talk to, this sounds incredibly and embarrassingly sappy but you’re one of the few people that i feel 100% comfortable talking to. You give off this vibe of comfort without judgement like I can talk as myself and not have to worry about being too talkative or bothersome and, of course, you still have human emotions and you’re allowed to feel those things but there’s not a lot of people i feel so able to freely talk about my interests with and stuff.

I got off-topic I think, oops— Let me add, you’re a very funny person. I genuinely adore your sense of humor. I think i might’ve subconsciously picked up some of it? Sometimes i say something or I See something I think is funny and I think, “Sounds like something Lucifer would say.” I would talk to you way more often if I wasn’t so shit at starting and ending conversations, sadly ;;

I know sometimes you do feel your lows, and I just wanna say, I care about you. Words don’t do a lot, there’s no magical cure for feelings, but please try to keep in mind that even when you’re at your lowest there are people who Care about you. and love you even! Love you for your artwork, your writing, your humor, your interests, your personality, your kindness, you. And the way you inspire people and make people happy and are a fucking amazing friend. Out of this world. Like a world future star!

Sorry if this long of a message feels weird,, Near the end I’ve kinda given up on trying to hide most of my typing style because you’re most likely gonna know who this was anyway— unless I did a good job of being anonymous? That’d be surprising I think. Anyway, you’re wonderful, Lucifer, everything that you are.

i have no clue who yoiu are because i am Terrible at recognizing typing styles unless its super distinct ....... you have kept your anonymity do not fret

i actually read this last night and started like. tearing up???which is why i didnt respond as soon as i saw this ask + i wanted to be on a computer to type like a real response. Not that i know how to give much of one because i am rendered Speechless

this is maybe the nicest message ive ever gotten and the nicest thibgs ive ever been told and it means a Lot to me and its crazy to think that you spent time typing it and you mean it and ???!?!??!kind of silly because its some Message on the internet but i think im going to think back to this a lot when im sad and know that i can hold on for a little longer because there is in fact someone who cares about me. im so glad i can be a good friend to you adn that you feel comfortable around me thats really what i strive to be i just want to be a nice person who helps people and makes em feel Happy (❁´◡`❁)

thank you so much idk who you are (except that we're friends which just makes me want to go and give you a hug even though I CANT why dont computer let me reach through the screen) but i really needed this message i think and it means A Lot to me :)))) (this is probably not everything i will want to say and ill absolutely go and kick myself because i didnt think of something i wanted to say and you cant edit tumblr posts like you could in the Olden Days)

[s3plan]

long vent -_-

told my bf about the possible (hypo)manic episode and he immediately said "you should probably get checked to see if you're bipolar" which. :/ i mean yeah but thats not really what im worried abt rn. im not mad tho iknow he was drunk & didnt mean anything. i did start acting embarrassing when we were gonna sleep tho, crying and making myself feel worse for no good reason i think i just wanted attention. i felt like a horrible person even then &still kinda do now. he was asleep already &way drunker than me so im praying he didnt notice. its so scary because ive finally started getting better at not acting out or hurting myself to get his attention but now ive done it two parties in a row and it feels like all my progress is undone, even tho i know it doesnt work that way. there were a lot of times last night when it felt like i wasnt in control of myself, or like i was very close to doing or saying something really regrettable.

and i dont know if im gonna be able to tell my therapist, not really sure why i think that but im scared to introduce the topic when ive never mentioned before that i get like this sometimes. she gave me one of those diary sheet things you fill in throughout the day and ive been unable to do it properly the past few days. because the little squares arent big enough to write in and theres too much i cant put into words. and im scared that if i try to talk to her about it, i wont be able to put it into words. it happened last night and i forgot how fucking annoying it is, it used to be like that all the time two ish years ago. i dont wanna think abt this anymore

[abbaswift]

if this is too personal you dont have to answer this but ive seen you talk about autism on your blog before. I really am convinced that i have autism, like now ive looked into it i feel like its the missing jigsaw piece that explains so much. I really identify with stories from females in their early 20s as well about having undiagnosed autism throughout their school years. im in the uk but im scared that i wont be believed, i have no idea how to go about it and i dont even know how to bring it up to my parents. Do you have any advice?

hi anon, i’m feeling weirdly honoured that you’ve come to me to talk about this, i probably don’t have much advice but i can definitely relate to a lot of things you’ve mentioned

okay firstly i made a post about this recently which might have been the post that prompted this ask but i’ll link it just in case

the day autism was mentioned to me (i remember it vividly, i was eleven) everything just clicked (not to sound too cliche). i knew nothing about it but by the end of the day i’d done so much googling and SO much seemed to fit. it’s wild how you can spend years not knowing why you are the way you are and then you can find out and everything makes more sense. i actually feel a lot more confident and less “weird” now that i don’t have to make up justifications for my own behaviours to myself

i was lucky (in a fashion?) that i was diagnosed at fourteen but i know that there are so many people from our generation and older who slipped through the cracks when it came to childhood diagnosis simply because they were assigned female at birth. for decades autism was seen more as a “boy thing” and it’s only, i’d say, in the last decade or two that autistic girls are being more acknowledged. even now the boy:girl ratio for autism diagnosis is something like 4:1 and there are scientific disputes about whether it’s because autism in males is really more common, if “girl autism” is different or if girls are simply conditioned to hide their traits or show them in a different way. because of this, it’s very possible that there are many undiagnosed young women in your exact situation. it might be helpful to look for online communities (i was going to say forums but are they really a thing now?) of people you can relate to, who are going through the same thing

to be honest, i never had to convince anyone i was autistic because it wasn’t me who thought i was autistic in the first place, it was my deputy head teacher in middle school who first mentioned it in a school meeting to my mum, nan and other teachers. i didn’t even tell my friends until i was officially diagnosed. this means i don’t have much experience in what you need advice with. of course, i have no idea what your relationship with your parents is like or if they’re open-minded or knowledgeable about neurodiversity, so you’ll ultimately need to be the judge of how to approach it. maybe it’ll work best to sit them down and make sure they’re paying attention, but that’s a lot of pressure. honestly when i wanna start a tricky conversation, i do it when the people aren’t looking at me, maybe when we’re in the car or watching tv. just try to casually bring the topic up, maybe reference a recent news story about autism, i don’t know. just ease into the conversation(s) and once you feel ready, you might just blurt out what you want to say. if you feel like people will need persuading, write out a list of your autistic traits for reference. like i said in my linked post, some people don’t know about neurodiversity, but they will often still notice if you don’t act how neurotypical people do. if you’re reading out these autistic traits, traits that you also have, they may be more inclined to connect autism with you, and they’ll know you’ve done research.

i know you’ve mentioned that you worry you won’t be believed, but it might be worth confiding in some trusted friends or other relatives before you tell your parents, even if you just frame it in a hypothetical way. that way you can get a consensus on whether you “seem autistic” or not (and maybe get some confidence) before you have the (probably?) more important talk with your parents. although i suppose, if the people you’ve asked disagree with you, it might discourage you in further exploring the possibility of you being autistic. that being said, you know your brain and how much you potentially mask more than anyone else, so if you ask for the opinions of others, don’t be disheartened if it’s not the consensus you expected.

i was gonna try to type something about actually getting diagnosed but you might not be ready for that unless you’re prepared to get diagnosed without anyone in your life knowing. i don’t have much to offer in terms of experience (because i simply don’t remember much of getting diagnosed) or advice but i’d be willing to support you through it. for now, all i can say about getting an autistic diagnosis on the nhs is… good luck charlie

okay sorry for the massive ramble, it’s the ortizzum. i hoped this gave you or someone else reading this even a smidge of help, assuming you didn’t fall asleep midway through. as i said, i’m not great with advice but i can definitely relate as a young woman who wasn’t properly supported because of a lack of diagnosis. feel free to send me another ask or dm me about anything autism related… or just anything full stop. okay i’m wishing you luck, keep me updated! MWAH! x

[frostbite-the-bat]

vent post where i overshare and complain about my life below because i wanna distract myself from studying because i'm having a hard time mentally motivating myself to do it !! yippie.

fucking hell only 2 days before my last part of finals and i REALLY dont feel like studying not only bc my mental health as of late aint been the best, my mood being bad today in general, but also just. really REALLY wanting to be over with it. to be over with it successfully i have to try, and i am trying quite hard, but man do i not want to. just a few pitiful days and im over with it. i'm feeling the same pressure as i did when i was about to do my first two finals... i've noticed i'm being a bit more distant in general aside from TRYING TO focus on studying (90% of the time im probably not doing much tbh)

and i just wish these finals were a bit fairer. we have 25 questions, right? well, it's a verbal test, we have like 20 minutes to speak to two teachers who **MAY** ask questions about it PLUS some official we dont know of. a stranger. and 20 minutes to prepare. oh, 25 questions? for that? sounds bad! well, it's only one question! sounds good, doesnt it?

well... you don't know which one you're gonna get. THANKFULLY we have the list of questions available to us - but we have no way of knowing what we may get. we have to prepare for literally anything, because if you slack studying even a singular one, you may get unlucky and that may be the one you're gonna end up stuck with. of course, they will ask questions to squeeze things out of you, and hint stuff...but i am just so worried i won't know. every time i study, there's a bit of something i just... skip over completely. i dont have the time or patience for it. it's too hard... and i spent too much time over working the other answers. like, really overworking on them, with pointless detail.

and that's the thing! we have to say as many details for this as possible... and for many of these questions i can honestly say i'm very confident about answering them! but... the rest, most of this, many of this... it's just so hard. it's too hard. i need to approach it from like... an angle of. just fill in everything a little bit. (forgot to mention, im working out each question in a google doc, as if i was answering it. i will then read through it and study it. re-writing things in my own words makes me remember topics better, and i often re-write a thing over and over for this same reason.)

and just... getting even a bit of something in so i feel fullfilled. but...in theory i should study what i don't know, which is what is so hard. i don't know where to begin. these questions are from all over the place....i always need so many confusing tab open just to answer one question - then close them and get stuff for the other question - but oops! the other half of it needs stuff from the previous ones, great...

and it's just a whole mess, and i am worried i may not make it. well...i did rather well on my actual finals. like, exceptionally well. better than i typically do. like, a B. i never ever get those grades. that's an excellent grade. even if i do not define myself by my grades, it feels good to know i did well on that. but...i know my verbal performance is bad... and for that, it was many topics in one test. okay, study a bit of everything and you're fine. but for this i need... a lot of detail for ONE THING. that i will not know what it'll be. and it's a BIG deciding factor on whether or not i pass.

and it SUCKS. i am so tired. not to mention i have been sleeping less to play games with friends, due to timezones, while attempting to manage my horrible attention span to attempt to study. at least...i am doing something? but i am afraid it won't be enough. it won't be valued. it won't be what i need. i am a person who values my breaks a bunch, and i need them. hell, even writing this was a bad idea as my hands are starting to hurt, making my entire self feel horribly exhausted. i wish i could write down those answers this quickly.

issue is the language barrier - i have managed to switch my thoughts to be mostly in english, and i am a native czech speaker. i really need to read things in czech a little bit more. but just...the motivation. the drive. here my drive is to express my feelings an annoyance, and just get it out of my system so i can focus better. but? for that?

a pointless test, where there is a big chance i will be given something i may be clueless about. i may panic and fuck everything up. and... after this. i do not know what i will do with my life. it's scary stuff.

i both wanna get out of here so i can truly be myself, but also, i have not been taught about life by my parents at all. i need them. even if i wish to escape from them and do what i want...do what i need to get better. glares at my dad. glares back at this post. i do not know how the world works.

i have zero plans. anything i'd want probably wouldn't go through - or they would tell me it's a bad idea, have comments on it, and i'd go back into my little shell again. i'm gonna need a job eventually, but i'd really like to see doctors or something first, because i'm like 99% sure covid from last year cause me to have chronic exhaustion (and probably pains? im in so much pain especially in my legs and arms so easily its unreal. i need to study this more) as well. i can't do shit for too long without spacing the fuck out and trying not to cry because of the pain. i perform badly. i am an anxious mess. however anything health related i ask about is met with "oh we don't need a doctor for THAT" or "oh, stop whining! this is what the real world is like. get used to it. don't sit down, you're so lazy. work hard."

and i don't plan on doing what my school taught me to do and fighting jobs is hard enough already. i am sure my parents won't mind supporting me while being unemployed for a while, but... i know that my dad will pressure me a lot. hell, he joked about it even years ago when my best friend got a summer job before me... and also my parents want me to work at their job. okay good might get nepo babie'd, but uh, issue is! that place works like crazy fucking **12 hour shifts**. i already die at like 4 or less hours of something. what.

and fuck i am so grateful to my friends for supporting me during these times... offering their own help. i am so glad. i am so happy. i could not ask for better people. but... i wish this was more available to me in real life. i am rotting my fucking brain online only because the only support i get is here... everywhere else i am unwanted. and i was never taught to ask for help. if i ever wanted anything...or asked for help. it was denied or ignored... they always say you can tell me anything, if there's trouble tell me, but then you tell them and...

all you get called is "you're so sensitive" "oh boys will be boys" "oh come on get over it" "you have to try harder than that". and!! man. it is hard. its so hard. i just wanna lay down... for a whole year....do nothing. hibernate all that time. have zero life worries... everyone has these, but. i hate that life played the cards to make it this difficult for me... and. a lot of it is invisible.

i hide it. i mask it. or it didn't pop up until now... nobody will believe me if i tell them these issues i am facing. it's not enough to need help for them. "there's others who face more pain and issues in their life than you" "you don't seem like you need it". constantly stuck...in this. it does require actual speaking out, yes...but if your whole life, you ask for the smallest things, and it's not delivered upon...you just learn to stop asking. you know who to not ask and who to ask. it's horrible.

not to mention some issues i can get in actual danger with if it comes out. like i don't know. me being queer? that's one of the main things holding me back this much.

like. once i am done with this school. these finals. if i pass them. i am done. i have no plans after. i am sure i will... find something. it wont be easy. but... ill have to do it. sadly.

no plans at all. how am i supposed to be motivated to do even such a simple task as studying when i know in the end it may not even matter... i hate all of this so much. i wish i wasnt this way. i hate these things about myself. i love being a wacky little weirdo, but. i wish the world was easier to live in. i hate all of this shit. i hate that this world is built to be hard for someone like me. especially since it's not seen as hard enough to most... it ends up making me feel even worse. it's not fun.

i just wish it was all easier. i wish that at least today i could do the things i want. but i dont get to it. it sucks so bad. i have like zero energy left and i have to push through. i have to. or else i wont pass. that will cause more issues... it's. horrible. sigh. i'll....i'll stop now. at least i got all these thoughts out of my brain. i am repeating myself. nothing is there. despite my low energy, and me ALREADY pushing myself a lot, it's probably the most ideal time for me to do something. so. i guess i'll try. only because i have to. i hate this. i'm so scared of the future...