#this would be incredibly unhinged. i wanna do it so bad

[jeellyjams]

someone better shake me by my shoulders because i have the strongest urge to create a SecUnit sole survivor

[mamayan]

Hi! and wow! I actually never made a request on tumblr before today. To get to the point: Tumblr is lacking in Sanemi Shinazugawa content so bad (your Yobai writing was so perfect btw!!!) I would LOVE it of you made a arranged marriage fic of reader x Sanemi or maybe a college bully sanemi x teacher reader or something ^^ im not picky but i love to see what you would do with it!! 💕XOXO

Nonnie I’m so glad you slid in my box with these treasures, like goodness I sort of want to write both, but I wouldn’t do them justice in just one ask. How’s this? If you like how I write this, throw another ask in for the arranged marriage. I’m feeling this modern AU right now♥️

College AU: Bully! Student! Sanemi Shinazugawa x Professor! Fem! Reader

tw: NSFW • Modern AU • Taboo Relationship (Student x Teacher) • Reader has hair long enough to pull and is shorter than Sanemi here • Blackmail • Spanking • Oral (M) • Fingering (F) • Rough Sex • Degradation/Mild Humiliation

“Mr. Shinazugawa, thank you for coming in today.” You sat perched like a little bird behind your desk, ass scooted as far to the edge of the seat as possible with your legs crossed. Your pencil skirt, with a slit up the leg, revealed your soft skin for his dark gaze as he lazily slides into the leather plush seat in front of your desk.

It’s just after your office hours had closed, the campus winding down for the evening as classes finished up.

Your pretty face was serious, lips set in a grim line as you faced him with your hands folded in your lap. He felt his irritation spike as your pathetic display of posturing in front of him. His face didn’t hide his disdain either, sneering at you as he leaned back and spread his arms over the back of the chair, legs spread wide as he slouches disrespectfully. “What’s up Doc,” he calls your title with hardly any care, rolling the words like one might speak to an old friend and not their college Professor. You’d earned your doctorate, unlike this trouble child turned demon.

Unfortunately you couldn’t have him expelled, the Ubuyashiki family whom owned and founded this prestigious University being on very good terms with Sanemi’s family. The only time you saw him behave with even a semblance of human decency was in front of the the chairman, but Kagaya is a young man of a calm and patient disposition, far to lenient with Sanemi by your personal standards. The man in question nothing short of a delinquent, face covered in menacing scars with his white hair gelled back, amethyst eyes being eerily similar to that of a wild animal.

Unhinged, violent, a bully.

One too many students had complained to you, some even sent to the hospital, and it was Kagaya Ubuyashiki himself who’d asked for your help personally. Explaining that Sanemi needed your assistance and guidance to find the right path. He’d buttered you up so well you’d caved and agreed to have a one on one with the vibrating feral dog before you.

“I think you have some idea of why you’re here Mr. Shinazugawa. Despite your incredible aptitude in my class, and from what I hear from my colleagues, their classes as well… you’ve not given the same courtesy towards your fellow students and professors.” It was putting it as politely as possible, because this man nearly killed the department head of Astronomy. Granted, that Professor was a dirtbag and had been bumping up grades for sexual favors from his students, but you certainly didn’t condone that sort of savagery. No matter how good it felt to see him in a wheel chair looking defeated and broken. That was only one instance though, his multiple fist fights on campus, destruction of property, and overall cruel disposition made him a hazard.

Sanemi merely rolled his eyes, smirking when he caught your eye twitch in irritation. “So what? This a fuckin’ intervention baby?” You startled at the intimate nickname, becoming enraged at his teeth baring grin. “You wanna fix me or somethin’? I might think about it if you get on your knees and suck my cock.” His snicker of amusement and wide provocative eyes were roaring to match your rage.

“If you don’t take this seriously Mr. Shinazugawa—,” the moment you stood to point a finger, he was standing too.

Towering over you, his smile gone and person radiating bloodlust. He didn’t step forward, didn’t need to if he wanted to make a point, because even just him standing doing absolutely nothing was enough to send a shiver of fear down your spine and choke on your next words.

“If I don’t take this seriously… then what Ms. PhD? Hmm? You’ll do fuckin’ what?” His voice had dropped an octave and the baritone of his timber was nothing if not damn terrifying. You briefly wondered if you’d get fired for throwing yourself out the window behind you, because this was ridiculously scary. You should’ve made Mr. Ubuyashiki stay, your confidence draining with the blood from your face. His dark expression doesn’t change, but he’s drinking in your fearful expression and cautious widening eyes with inner glee. You couldn’t see it, but the little lip quiver and your eyes getting watery had him rock hard, fully enjoying the submissive display and making his teeth ache to sink into the pretty skin you so boldly flashed when you uncrossed your legs to stand. “What’s wrong? You were so damn ready to lay into me, now you wanna be cute and quiet?” His teasing edge was more mocking and dripping with ridicule than he intended, but the affect he wanted was the same.

Stroking those flames of yours higher.

“This is highly is inappropriate—,”

“Like masturbating in your office on the weekend?” You physically freeze, face falling as horror dawns on you.

“If we want to talk about inappropriate, then why don’t you face the mirror on yourself.” His smile only grows with your anxiety.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about—,” he laughs, digging his phone quickly from his pocket and unlocking it swiftly. When he faces the screen towards you, there’s a video playing.

Of you. Doing exactly that, two fingers shoved down your skirt when you quietly pant and work yourself over, leaning against your desk. It’s way to HD and close up to be anything else but a hidden camera on your desk no less, panic flooding yourself as you swipe off the papers looking for whatever the hell held the device. All the while in your frantic search, Sanemi let the video continue at full volume, your little gasps and moans getting louder as you gasp now for air for different reasons.

It’s in your name plate. Nearly invisible but you find it and nearly tear it apart with shaking hands as you look at up at his evil face grinning down at you.

He likes that the cocky pretentious look on your face is gone. “Who’d have thought the golden Professor around here would be such a fucking slut when no one is looking. All these books and numbers must not satisfy huh?” You wanted to scream at him.

“Y-you set this up…? Why?” You couldn’t fathom it at all, why the devil incarnate would do such a nasty thing. Did he want you gone? If so, he could easily convince Ubuyashiki, so it must just be to torment you. You’d never had a confrontation with him until today though, and that video was taken weeks ago. Your pretty eyes pricked with tears could only look at him in complete disbelief.

“Why? Are you fucking kidding me right now? It seems your brain is only book smart baby, of course it’s because I wanted to.” His sneering grin is absolute in it’s intention to hurt. Even as tears spill and you’re forced to reconcile not only are you likely getting fired from your dream job, but he’s probably going to spread it all over the Internet. You’d never get hired anywhere else if that gets out. It’s not like it’s revenge porn or something like that, it’s clearly your office on campus during work hours.

“Looks like I’m not the only freak around here, isn’t that right Doctor?” He moves now, shutting the video off and sliding his phone back in his pocket, stepping around your desk towards you. You don’t have much room to step back before you’re up against the wall. His body boxing you in as his arms shoot out and palms slap flat on either side of your head, your flinch goes ignored as he leans down nearly close enough to kiss you.

He smells like something sweet, juxtaposed to his cruel and serious expression.

“You wanna keep your job and dignity?” You don’t want to let the tears fall, but they do.

You nod anyway, even as you pathetically sniffle and glare up at him hatefully. It’s got all the venom of a bunny to him.

“Then get on your knees. I wasn’t fuckin’ kidding earlier.”

You hate him and yourself. You told yourself this job was stressful, justified your dirty secret, but it ended up being the nail in your coffin. This would be another though.

“B-but you’re my student…”

“It didn’t stop you from fucking your fingers in here, so I don’t really see a problem.” It’s like you swallowed a lead weight as you move to kneel like he asked, not looking at him even as he refuses to give you more space, still leaning against the wall behind you.

It gives him a great view to look down on you, your form quaking and so unwilling he wanted to laugh. You were acting tough still.

His pants are baggy and loose, the denim waist band barely on his hips and you can see up his shirt now, the hard lines of muscle on his torso and soft smatter of hair down his navel into his waist band.

He’s not wearing boxers.

“I suggest you fuckin’ hurry before I start looking for somethin’ to post to end my boredom.” His words light a fire under you, hands moving swiftly and desperately now. It has him grinning savagely, watching you easily pull his pants down and expose his hard leaking cock to the cool air.

He lets you pause for a second, feasting on the hesitation and awe you express as you lightly grip him. Your fingers don’t touch all the way around. It drives him wild as he bucks his hips, hissing in pleasure as you finally lick his tip tentatively.

“A bitch who fucks herself in her office doesn’t kitten lick cock,” his threat is there, and you force yourself to open up and take him in your hot mouth.

He’s loud as he moans, and when you cringe back from his little thrust deeper into your mouth, he steps forward to press you back against the wall. Seeing you pinned, looking up at him with your mouth full of his cock, almost makes him cum on the spot.

Almost.

Instead he pulls out slowly, your hands on his thighs as if that’ll stop him from going too deep. When it’s only his tip in, he slams back forward, laughing at your tears spilling and mouth sputtering around him. Your throat gagging and constricting as he stretches the thin tight airway until it burns, pulling back slowly again and repeating until all you can think about is the cock in your throat and the scent of something sweet, like a confectionery.

He didn’t think it’d feel so good. The sight of you deep throating him and the feeling of your mouth on his cock far too amazing to stop himself from an early ejaculation.

Unfortunately for you, he comes a lot. Thick ropes of cum shoot down your throat, the surprise of it causing you to cough, making some of it go up and out your nose as the jolt of pain brings a fresh wave of tears.

“Fuck—, you better swallow all of it,” he all but snarls down at you, looking feral and rabid as he works his hips and cock around in your mouth while you struggle to obey.

When he pulls out finally, load emptied in your stomach, his hand reaches down and grips your jaw. The force of it making your sore jaw and mouth open back up, and it’s too late to close before his spit lands on your tongue. You try to jerk away, to spit it out as the humiliation washes over you, but he’s stronger. Forcing your head back against the wall, he clamps your jaw shut, laughing as you nearly bite through your own tongue in frustration.

“Don’t piss me off, fuckin’ swallow it.” You like him more when he’s being teasing and mean, not this serious Sanemi which invokes fear and commands your obedience.

You swallow, hatefully you swallow and even more hatefully curse him in your mind because you were aroused. Painfully aching and panties soaked to your embarrassment. He smiles, not the twisted kind but approvingly, as you listen. The indignant and humiliated look on your face absolutely adorable covered in your own tears and his cum. He’s nice not to make you wipe it off and lick it up this time.

“Stand up,” he doesn’t wait for you to follow, sure that you’ll try and take your sweet ass time and he sadly only has half and hour left with you by appointment standards. You were after all the most beloved Professor on campus, and many people wanted your time. He wasn’t different in that sense, but he also isn’t content to play the part of a good student and wait for you to fall in love with him like some stupid romance movie.

He’d much rather you like this.

Sanemi manhandles you until he’s seated in your desk chair, pulling you into his lap, back against his chest. You aren’t given time to protest when he yanks up your skirt and uses his thick thighs to spread your own.

Feeling him against you like this, you realize he’s all muscle. Not a soft spot to be found, as he tears off your underwear next, exposing your cunt to the cool air as you feel his cock hardening again beneath your ass.

“S-Sanemi—!?” He opens your cute little blouse up next, batting your hands away easily to yank your bra down and reveal your breasts and hardened nipples.

“Fuck you’re soaked, you like suckin’ my cock that much?” He ignores your whine of protest, your efforts to stop him minimal and half hearted, especially when he lets his rough thick fingers trail through the copious arousal dripping from your pussy right now. “Should I have kept going? See if you’d cum just from fucking your mouth?” He cups your face and turns your head to look at him, unable to stop the hoarse moan that leaves you when he sinks a finger inside your tight heat. “Y-you’re wrong…” you still stubbornly glare and argue back, eyes still sparked with defiance he found delicious.

“Oh? So this isn’t from sucking my cock? Then what’s it from, watching yourself get off again in this office? You a fuckin’ exhibitionist or something?” He’s teasing as he slowly pumps his finger in and out of you, the wet noises echoing in your office and stifling your next words as you pant and weakly grip behind you onto his shirt.

“If that’s the case, I don’t mind turning us around and drawing back the curtains…” he speaks the words softly, right into your ear as he licks the shell of it, your pussy clamping down hard on his finger. Your office faced the main part of campus, even in the evening students and teachers walked that area.

He chuckles, “You really like the sound of that, don’t you whore?” You gasp as he adds a second, gritting your teeth to stop the sounds of pleasure from spilling freely.

“Fu-fuck you—!” Your words drip venom, but he only sighs, as if disappointed in your answer. Shaking his head as if there’s nothing he can do about it.

“That’s the point baby, I’m going to fuck you,” he effortlessly lifts you up with one arm around your middle, the iron bar that is his arm suffocating as you struggle. He slips his fingers out, the gooey trail of slick connecting his fingers to your pussy making his cock twitch as he rubs the leftovers on the tip, slicking himself up as he lines himself with your entrance.

“Just like this,” he lets gravity do the work, and you’re so wet it slides in despite the a sting and ache of the stretch, his girth splitting you.

“Hah!” You try to jerk off, but he keeps your from doing so with his arm still wrapped around you, groaning as your pussy begins to spasm and tighten up painfully.

“Holy fuck are you coming? Shitttt,” He’s delirious with pleasure, your orgasm wrecking you both as you twitch and moan, struggling to even breathe as your body betrays your mind. It feels too good. All of it. Your legs spread wide and his cock in full view splitting you open as you cum around him. He can’t stop himself from rutting up into you, cursing your gummy walls as they massage and strangle his dick, pumping his cock as your pussy gushes slick.

“Shit you really are a slut, to cum all over your student’s cock like a bitch in heat, and I’ve hardly touched you, ah,” his head tilts back, both hands now anchoring your hips as he bounces you, tip hitting your deepest parts as you cry and moan. Quick to be overwhelmed and overstimulated.

When his balls draw tight, he shoves you off him roughly, forcing you to hit the desk as he pushes your face down into the homework you had been grading earlier. He hunches over you, sliding back inside from behind as he yanks your hips up when your legs try to buckle.

“Not fuckin’ done with you—!” He looks enraged, face flushed bright red as he pants, watching his thick cock get swallowed over and over again inside you. “Not done ever actually,” he laughs, moving his hand off your face to sink into your hair, gripping a fist full and yanking your head back. Your cries are no longer muffled, your tear and drool covered face now sporting a few ink stains as he really begins bucking his hips, using your hair as leverage to keep you in place.

Your body seizes up again, another hard orgasm rushing up as Sanemi lands a sharp slap against your right ass cheek. Then the left side. “Fuck yes, clench your pussy just like that!” He’s speaking through his teeth, hissing in pleasure as he paints your ass with his hand, loving how tight you get on impact and how wet you are.

“Sanemi—m’gonna cum—!” Your tongue feels swollen as you speak, mumbling out your words as your peak approaches. You aren’t even thinking anymore, his cock turning you stupid as he grunts and continues his savage pace.

“Bet it’s been forever,” he laughs, “—no, I bet you’ve never had this pretty pussy fucked like this before, have you?” You’re out of it, too drunk on the high to comprehend his words. “Don’t worry baby, I’m gonna fuck you like this everyday, you’re not ever gonna forget how it feels for me to fill this pussy—!” He flinches as you cum, moaning long and loud as his cock succumbs to the pleasure and he follows you close after. His balls taunt with tension as his dick works to fill you up just like he said.

He lets you drop back to the desk as he pants, skin sweaty as he wipes his forehead and looks down at you.

You’re heaving too, limp and drooling as you recover slower than him. Your clothes completely in disarray as you lay mostly exposed. He lets his dick slide out slowly, softening just a little and helping him ease out as he watches a well of white begin to ooze out of you and onto the fancy pristine wood flooring below, your legs trembling in the cute black heels you sported.

Sanemi reaches over you wordlessly, to the potted plant which has decorated your desk even longer than your new name plate.

He pockets the little camera hidden in it, before he starts yanking up his pants and fixing his clothes.

As he walks around your desk, he looks down just as you look up. His smile disgusting as he quietly says, “Thanks for the fun. I’ll see you the same time tomorrow Ms. Slut,” he laughs at the rage bleeding into your eyes again.

He’ll enjoy re-watching your first time together tonight when he can get the footage uploaded to his computer. Tomorrow he’ll be sure to take you from a new angle.

[enj4s]

VAMPIRE BOY, BITE ME IN THE MOONLIGHT! ᡣ𐭩 .

─── ˚୨୧⋆ PAIRINGS; subaru sakamaki, 𖥻SUBARU x fem! reader ｡˚ ⋆

─── ˚୨୧⋆ 𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙎; smut. swearing. fem!dom! reader. reader is mean, again. pegging. (lil) hair pulling. hickies. crying. toxic relationship. both are fucked in the head.

★ Author note 😆😆!!: Whoever requested ts excuse my dramatic ass, I LOVE drama as you can see. (sorry btw) enjoy 🤤‼️ yallyal request I got nun to do other than rot in my bed 💔

It was one of those days-

You were a patient and laid-back person, or so you and some people thought. But your anger issues have gone up the roof since you met the seven diabolic, unhinged brothers.

Their mothers and Karlheinz were just as bad, if not even worse. The Mukamis could not redeem themselves but they were bearable, especially Azusa who was just less annoying and irritating, or atleast didn't make you wanna dig your nails in your skin and clutch hard till it bleeds, like the others. You had an exception between the seven Sakamaki siblings as well, whom was Subaru.

Subaru was one helluva person to deal with. If not for Karlheinz introducing you to his past, you would've kept your first impression of him, which was he had rabies.

That boy was as layered and complicated as an onion, and trying to navigate through his mind and emotions was gonna drive you mad. One moment he's calling you a dense ass for dropping a pencil or getting bitten, and the other he's glancing at you all soft like a high school girl in love would.

You swore you have spent and used more brain cells on trying to see through him than you had on maths. He could be downright cruel at times, and even dismissed you so harshly that you favored the men-whore final boss (Laito) over him for some while, which didn't last long when he forced you so adorably in a 'relationship' with him or is what you thought, since he ordered you to resist if any of his brothers try to bite you. What else did it mean?

He would become absolutely feral when he got jealous. It was pretty easy to make him reach that point, but dangerous. He would start yelling at you and destroying everything around him in blind rage when he saw you talk to a male teacher or student or his brother's, going as far as attempting drain you of plasma. It was all too tiring and frustrating, you wanted nothing but quietness, to be left alone and ignored.

His delusion of you being his was so utterly nonsensical, but you went along with it for your safety and sanity, it was wise to sometimes give up and give in to his delusions, which he used as a control and power element. Resisting only meant to get bit to near death, where you'd start to see stars and lights that you thought only existed in cartoons, or, like these times, when he'd strangle you.

-where you'd snap.

"Shut the FUCK UP!" You'd yell at the top of your lungs, couldn't you even be strangled to death silently? His yammering of you being a betrayer was so damn irritating. Subaru jolted and flinched away form the volume of your voice, that look on your eyes, he backed up slightly, his grip on your throat weakened. In a swift movement, you dug your nails deep into his unhealthily pale wrists, shoving him away with every ounce of strength you had left.

Subaru stumbled backwards, catching himself quickly, his white boots stepping on a broken shard of glass from a vase that you bet was supposed to be cherished. You felt guilty for using one of his traumas against him to make him halt, stop. Yes, but did it save you from getting choked? Yes.

The anger was incredibly contagious, you bite your lip to hold back all the insults and traumas you could bring up, knowing that it would just bring you brutal death and a quick burial in dirt in the next hour, you shut your mouth, trying to find saliva to relieve your sore throat that was deeply in dire need of moisture.

The grip he had on your throat just now had been so tight you could've sworn he had actually meant to kill you for a second. Your breathing became labored. Your heartbeat was stubborn and didn't wanna settle down. Your eyes stared back at Subaru's with a mixture of tears and fury, you blink. Trying to help your eyes get used to the light again.

Both of you had your flaws and toxic traits, you suddenly found yourself on top of Subaru, a hard grip on his hair that matched his on your throat earlier, you wipe salty tears away, everything was a blur. You swore you couldn't remember a thing. You'd insult other people for not controlling their actions, yet you couldn't keep yours in check either.

"Sorry," You murmured against his pale skin, kissing alongside the hickies and bite marks you left on his neck. They looked painful. He was a vampire, so you didn't worry too much. They'd heal in an hour or two. You were still between his thighs, cum dripped down his hips and legs.

"You just piss me off sometimes...It's so childish when you start yammering and yelling, creating scenes when I talk to anyone," You watched his wine red eyes trail down in something like shame. His mouth was sewed shut, he was already embarrassed from moaning as loud as he yells. He was cuter when he was quiet, you note, and grin silently, propping yourself on your knees to thrust inside him again without warning, tearing a shriek from the albino beneath you, he drops his head down on the pillows, you were making him feel way too good, as rough as it was.

It almost seemed like you were still taking your anger out on him as you pounded inside him harshly. Subaru felt his stomach coil and he tightens, when you'd lean down to whisper sweet nothings in his ear that didn't match your humping.

“C-ca- ah! Can’t! Hah..” Subaru whined shakily, a sound he'd drop dead before making if he was in his right state of his mind. He hiccups and whimpers as he covered his face with his hands. “So full..hic- too much," His legs dangle like a rag doll's from your shoulders as you plundge inside him deeper and deeper with each delicious thrust.

You lean down with a sigh, catching Subaru's lips in a kiss, and grab at his long bangs, tugging hard to tilt his head upward, and swallow down the loud wail that was about to wrack from his body as he came, vibrating slightly and hips thrusting up pathetically in the air. His fangs poked at your lip a bit painfully as he tried to bite down his noises, now chasing after your lips and the little blood that threatened to spill.

Getting strangled or beat again later from a flustered Subaru wouldn't be surprising after wracking his shit, but it was worth it. You could only laugh as he emptily threatened to break your arm after this, complaining that he couldn't feel his legs and that you're a perv.

─── ˚୨୧⋆ @enj4s ♡ @un0rin ♡

don't repost or copy I know where u live 👁

[aquarius-cookie-jar]

Right. I'mma just dump these ref sheets I made here because I'll be making some drawings with these guys, and I am bad at staying consistent within the design lmao.

I was inspired by these amazing designs, go check them out.

X || X || X.

Ramble down here, where I try to explain the ""lore"" and my design choices:

So as mentioned above, the majority of the Dark Cacao kingdom is actually composed of kirins, mainly because Cacao was already a kirin in my older designs, and I wanted more of his citizens to match him. Maybe I'll draw the other Cacao NPCs mlp-ified and what I headcanon their species to be.

I ultimately decided to give Cacao a mane and replace his long hair with that. Ngl, I was always on the fence about Cacao and Choco's designs, but yeah, I think the mane works better than just getting rid of it. (Old design below).

Btw, I dunno if I wanna give Cacao an actual crown, or just keep the additional horn things the leader of the kirins kinda have.

Dark Choco hasn't changed much, just in a different art style. I do however wanna say that he shaved off his mane out of shame and guilt for coming across the cursed sword not long after his banishment. Maybe when he and Cacao reconcile, he'll start to grow it out again, or maybe he'll keep it that way as a reminder of the past.

I actually drew (more like edited a screenshot) Caramel Arrow before, and she was originally just a pegasus, but honestly, the concept of hybrids and what they entail really intrigued me. I thought it would be fun if she were a hybrid kirin/pegasus.

Also, her horn doesn't exactly function, mainly because there's this headcanon I once came across a post that says faux alicorns do exist in the mlp canon. If you wanna know my full headcanon for this, feel free to shoot an ask, but to keep it short, for faux alicorns, either their wings are under developed, or their horn can't control the frequencies of magic that well or at all. Such is the case for Caramel Arrow. Though she has fully developed wings, she can't control magic with her horn, and if she tries to, it may cause a headache. But besides that, she's all fine and dandy.

Crunchy Chip, hm, I'd say when he was a little filly, he was found in the woods, either by Cacao, or Choco, and his horn was already broken by the time they came across him. When asked, the little guy said he was protecting the cream wolf pups from a monster, but he can't remember what else happened before he fell unconscious. As he grew older, his broken horn didn't really bother him anymore. He's adapted well, and picked up a thing or two about survival from his cream wolf pack.

Also, sidenote, the kirins' scales are actually very hard to dent, meaning their backs are usually safe from attacks. Crunchy once encountered... something when he was out on patrol, and he was out of commission for a week (to his incredible dismay + annoyance) because of how rare serious injuries to the kirins' backs occur.

Ah, Affogato. Actually, I really do like him as a character, I just tend to focus my attention towards the Celestia and Luna coded father-son duo a bit more. Oops. But anyway, I decided to make him a hybrid just like Carrow too, mainly to add both contrast and similarities between them. They're not too different, but their ideals and beliefs clash and cause conflict with one another, I just thought it was fitting. Also decided to give him a more elegant and curved horn design as a nod to his unicorn heritage. Unicorns in the Cacao kingdom (and maybe the Golden Cheese kingdom) have a curved horn, mainly because the east asian coded unicorns in the mlp canon have curved horns too, and I thought they looked beautiful. Affo is someone so elegant and refined in a land that's chaotic and holds danger everywhere.

And that's my unhinged thoughts for now. I think I'll design Licorice and the others next time, but no promises.

Anyway, thank you for reading.

[thelastattempt]

Mate you’ve sent me this ask every day for over a week and I’ve had a shitty week and I’m gonna take it out on you (with a little cut cause I don’t want this rant clogging up my whole blog. cheers.)

A) the social construction of ‘coming out’ gives me the ick. the idea that anyone is obligated to tell strangers, their friends, their *mothers* ‘hey this is who I like to fuck, or this is who I’m attracted to’ just to what?? make others comfortable?? makes me feel a bit ill actually. by all means, the announcement can be really cathartic and validating for some people and if that’s you, then do you, but you can’t put that expectation on other people cause like - who I want to bang is my business and I have absolutely no idea why it would matter to you or any stranger. this goes double for celebrities who have cameras all up in their face all the time. why should they tell you? why why why. they’re not gonna bang you regardless so what’s the drama.

2) I bet you’re one of those people that say ‘it doesn’t matter, I just wanna know’. well you know what - fucking tough. if you wanna know so bad then it *does* matter to you. for what reason, irdk, but you need to figure that out cause it’s giving unhinged??

!) and on the subject of why you’re so incredibly interested in the orientation of other people, is it for validation? like if they’re a little bit gay then it’s okay for you to be a little bit gay? cause honey, it’s okay whether celebrities are or aren’t. but that’s very much about you and not about them. is it because you enjoy seeing gay iconography in popular media? cause there’s plenty of ‘out’ celebrities you can get this from, and the iconography is there whether you know the specifics or not?? you want him to raise a pride flag for your enjoyment - okay, he’s a real person though, capable of his own decisions that are also nothing to do with you?? or is it because you’ve got a little headcannon that you desperately want to be true?? again, this is very much a preference or need for you, as an individual, as a viewer, as a voyeur, and I’m struggling, bro, I really am cause orientation doesn’t make a good person, doesn’t add anything to personality or values or even talent. It absolutely doesn’t affect your enjoyment of the product Louis is selling - music, in case you’ve forgotten. unless you’ve got some dotted line from ‘gay’ to ‘deserving ’ and like, that’s not how this works?? by all means, support out gay artists for being out and gay if that’s your bag, go wild, but saying you can’t enjoy the content of a musician because you’re not sure who he’s shagging is warped to me

D) the jokes you see on the dash are literally just jokes. we’re sat here on tumblr, razzing a friend even tho he’s not our friend, because we’re all a little unwell and none of it is serious serious jfc.

5) and for you last question, what do I think? what do I think? I think I spend less time contemplating where Louis’ dick has been than you do.

TLDR; mind your business, you’ll be happier

[x3no9]

Please don't repost or reblog without my name on this. This is my piece of fanfiction that I decided to put on here for funsies. I doubt anyone will like it enough to even finish it but here we go. Random Makarov x Graves thought...casually written.

"Who's the Bad Guy?"

By x3no9

Graves 22 has been inexplicably sent back to the 2009 timeline. People he has never seen before are calling themselves by names he is very familiar with, but they either look completely different or just a bit unnervingly different.

He is captured by Makarov, who somehow knows who he is. Graves is still completely clueless and when they pull the hood off his head to torture him, he sees Makarov standing there all cocky and intimidating.

Makarov looks at him...then looks again. Trying to figure out why Graves isn't Graves. He is but just not HIS Graves.

Graves looks up at him and says "Should I know who you are?"

It breaks Makarov's mind, his one eye twitches once. This man who should know all he has done and is capable of doing, DOESN'T KNOW HIM? Unable to accept dismissal at that level he slaps Graves just to threaten him.

It gets absurd to the point where Makarov arms himself to the teeth and states his iconic phrases. Graves just shakes his head lightly "Not jogging my memory, Russia boy." He states in his smooth Southern accent.

Makarov curses in Russian he is actually frustrated on a personal level. Meanwhile, Graves has legit fallen for him as he sees the amount of effort Makarov goes through to try and get him to notice him. He loves that very subtle dimple that forms on Makarov's left cheek whenever he frowns or smiles.

"I like your moxy, Makky. Want to join my private military outfit? You could fill the roll of unhinged, handsome foreigner."

Makarov wants to shoot him so badly but he can't. Graves is an incredibly smug and sexy American, the embodiment of America. He wants to keep him, possess him, wipe that arrogant smirk off his incredibly attractive face.

He has never given anyone a second look but he was looking at Graves. Brazenly, he cups Graves' scarred cheek in his gloved palm then gently slaps his palm against it, patting him like a puppy.

They lock eyes, Graves isn't smiling anymore and Makarov stopped a while back. Things get real.

"Wanna lay some sugar on me, boy?" Graves asks him.

The "boy" bothers Makarov. They are the same age, nearly the same height with Graves being a couple inches shorter. They are both short though in a world of taller men. Tailored for one another in that way, to be able to speak at the same level, eye level, nose to nose... chest to chest.

Makarov sees the wink Graves gives him. Mockery? Who would dare? No, it wasn't. Because as he angrily rips him from the chair by the tactical vest and bumps bodies with him, hard vest to hard vest Graves looks surprised. He wasn't expecting anger. Makarov lightens up a little, shoves him back down and runs his gloved hand through his slightly messy black hair.

Graves sees how soft it looks. Chaotic but soft and the more he looks, the more he wants to touch it.

"What?" Makarov asks, starring him down with his two different colored eyes. One as blue as the deepest ocean, the other green as a regal emerald.

"What do you mean...this thing about putting sugar on you?" He finally asks. The question was bursting from his chest and he couldn't resist asking.

"Give me a kiss." Graves tried throwing him off. Maybe get a rise out of him, see what this man who claims to be Makarov will do.

The henchmen in the room just left. Nothing to see and there was other work that their boss gave them to do. Lingering was disrespectful.

"I'll show you." Graves stands up. He isn't completely restrained to the chair.

Makarov takes a step back, hand slips over the gun at his thigh. Graves leans in, head a little tilted. He walks Makarov back a few feet, right against the cold brick wall. His hands are cuffed behind his back but he is taking the lead for the moment as Makarov is too curious about what his foe is planning.

He dives for it, plants a sweet, firm kiss on Makarov but because Makarov dodged it abit not knowing Graves' intentions, his lips end up close to Makarov's ear. He takes a deep breath, to get a whiff of his scent. He smells great, even with all the dirt and dust of battle on him.

Makarov raises a dark brow at him, staying in place.

"Do it again, cowboy." He looks right at him, right into his mind with an intrigued little smile.

Graves goes in to kiss him again, aiming for his cheek but Makarov's gloved hands are grabbing him on each side of his face. Makarov is going in for the kill, he kisses him square on the mouth. There is a hint of cherry chapstick. He pecks him again, favoring the lower lip then upper lip.

They both like it too much. Graves sighs a little in contentment as Makarov really presses his lips squarely against his own. Graves surprises him with a little lick and suck on the lips. He feels the deep scar on Makarov's lips with his tongue.

Makarov pulls back with a look of bewilderment. That felt like second base it was so eager and wet...and warm... and stimulating. He craves more.

[collegetennisoriginstory]

ALLIEEEEEEEE!!!!! Just finished the update HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

[Mandatory spoiler warning here]

OMG SAM!!!!!!! MY LIL BESTIE IS HERE AGAINNNN!!! AND WE MATCHIEESSS <3 SAM MY SCRUNKLYWUNKLY ❤️🩷 YOU BET UR ASS I CHOSE THE "NO THOUGHTS HEAD EMPTY, SOUL CRUSHING HUG" OPTION!!! AHH I AM WHOLE AGAIN, SAMMYWHAMMY, MY SAMWISE, MY LIL GUY!!

I love how sam is immediately adopted as part of the cheering squad 😂 Im just imagining diego and Addie going 'one of us!! One of us!!! One of us!!!' At sam and just merges em into the group like theyve always belonged there 😭 I knew sam and diego would be instant besties!! I love G and Sam too!! Though I guess I didnt flirt enough with G to trigger any sort of jealousy between G and Sam. But its fine, Ive found that G as a platonic friend is also very sweet and I honestly kinda prefer it for my MC!! (Who will cry themself stupid when G has to leave 😔)

Speaking of jealousy, I absolutely LOVE Rayyan being sooo jealous the whole chapter lmaooo like yes bby frown those beautiful eyebrows... oh, MC is wearing someone else's last name to their first season debut???? Ohh u are seething... who is MC seeing so badly that theyre holding up the game?? Who is MC waving at?? I cant wait to introduce Sam to the team 😊 hopefully they would be able to go home unscathed <3

ALSO the tension after the match with Rayyan!!!! UGH I WANNA LIVE IN THAT SCENE FOREVER GOD ITS SO---- The restraint, the longing, the 'i want them so bad but causing a scandal by making out sloppy toppy at ur first match is probably NOT GOOD, but im this 🤏 close to risking it all'...

It's so woefully inadequate, so woefully incongruent with the way he's looking at you, that you're a whisker away from growling in frustration and stepping in to kiss him in front of the entire Cargill crowd.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE LINE OMG!!!! AND THE WAY RAYYAN JUST GRABS UR HAND AND HUGS U INSTEAD!!! I AM FERAL. LIKE ITS SO SO SO SOFT BUT ITS SUCH POOR SUBSTITUTE TO WHAT U ACTUALLY WANTED HUH RAYYAN??? ..... one of these days I might do a slowburn Rayyan route, but sadly Im a board certified thirsty hoe, so...

Btw I also chose the non heart hug option and ITS SO SOFT???? I LOVE THEM BEING SOFT??? LIKE "u only get to hug me once okay? 😤" "once per match?? 😊🥰🥺🤗" MC SO CUTE GOT RAYYAN GIGGLIN AND BEING MAD CUTE AND SHIT

AND OH DONT GET ME STARTED WITH 'THE LOCKER ROOM PART 3: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO' SCENE. I AM DEVOURING RAYYANS SOUL, I AM BITING DOWN, CHOMPING. THOSE LOCKERS HAVE SEEN SO MUCH SHIT I AM SO SORRY LOCKERS I LOVE U. I WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF LOCKER ROOM KISSES I HOPE IT GETS TO LOCKER ROOM PART 587

Anyways sorry about being unhinged at u, it is born out of love for ur incredible work, I hope the surgery goes well <3 rest up, sending u loads of love, Allie ❤️❤️

Hahahaha I LOVE your excitement omg this absolutely made my week!! Definitely read this one more than a couple times :)))

G is not really the jealous type, but there is a difference in their reaction to Sam and MC if MC has been flirting with G... though the more pronounced reaction comes from Sam if MC flirts with G in front of them.

As for Rayyan... yes. They definitely are the competitive type, both when it comes to tennis and. Well. Romance.

Glad you enjoyed some of the interactions between the ROs/characters in the update, it was a lot of fun getting to write some of these dynamics after building up to them in earlier chapters. A personal fave was writing Tobin's locker room scenes, and G/Rayyan being soft, and Sam's reunion :)

Finally, I have lots of Sam/hallmate interactions planned for the weekend, so stay tuned for that!!

Thanks so much again for the message and so glad you enjoyed the update!

[theoddest1]

hey, i hate to ask for advice here but since me letting off steam because of hazbin caused some ruckus in my friend group and i have a question.

my question is/dilemma is:

its a fact that of many fandoms, hazbin is one of the worst. its incredibly toxic.

now with the controversy with my friends: i shouldn't generalize an enitre group of people. which is correct. generalizing is bad most times.

but how am i supposed to talk about the fact hazbins' fandom is unhinged in many ways that's exclusive to said fandom. i cant list everything since that would be impossible but i feel that you know what im talking about when it comes to the fandoms' issues- geneally anyone active in the critical tag. don't get me wrong- i hate generalizing, i really do- but i feel like its kind of impossible to not do that when its such a wide spread issue. as a former fan since the pilot clips were uploaded, i was a part of said fandom and while i never did anything bad, i observed the behavior when scrolling through the fandom tags and it was so prominent.

so finally, the question: what else can i say/do? since i cant argue with that its severly wide spread since that would be generalizing again, what am i supposed to do/say? i am afraid of saying the wrong thing.

To be honest, I think what's best to say is that there is an active issue within the fandom, not that ALL are bad, but there is an encouraged behavior or various interests deemed fine within this fandom. You must also keep in mind A LOT of the fandom are young kids to teens. Not a lot of them adults are the majority. If there is an active demographic of people who have consistently aided in making the fanbase foolish and downright defensive, it can very much be hard not to generalize because the truth is in the pudding. BUT this is on those who have ACTIVELY made the fanbase dogshit and not those just minding their own business.

So honestly, I'd just say the fandom has a growing demographic of obnoxious people that override the seemingly small minority of cool people because it's the truth. I have met a real cool dude who was a fan, and I see him thrive in his art and his interests and makes me happy because he's a genuinely cool guy! A talented one at that! He is nothing like those obnoxious people. If you ever wanna blame or point out that a fandom is this and that ALWAYS keep in mind that a real bad fandom is the way they are cause of a specific TYPE of person/people and not the fandom as a whole. I mean, a good chunk of us used to be fans (I was moreso someone looking from the sidelines hoping the show got better) so if we were once fans and were chill so too can be others simply enjoying a piece of media they enjoy! ^^

[harrysmaison]

Vi's 2022 Follow Forever!

It's 2023 for me now and I wanna say thank you to all the lovely lovely people that I befriended so far who made my dash (and in case of some, my life) so much more beautiful.

Under the cut bc there messages I want to give you 💞

Unhinged gc: @dragmedown @lovelikealandslide @cowboylarries @purplepantsniall @coffeehotcoffee @surroundedbylightt @holyshit @loubbies @greeneyesfriedrice @louishandkink You people bring so much brightness and happiness to my life. Talking with you all was like, a stress reliever, you made me feel okay with being weird and unhinged and I can't thank you enough. You all were the support system I didn't know I needed in 2022. Thank you beloveds. I hope we'll stay as weird and chaotic forever as we are now ❤️

Therapy gc: @thedevilinmybrain, @larrysballetslippers @walkinginsunflowers @thechavier @finexbright @medicinelarrie @summercherrylou @amateurd18 @kadd-kadd you all have been so supportive and helpful and understanding and comforting to me in these past couple of months. Why would I need therapy when I have you all? Everyday is healing when I talk to you guys. I can't be thankful enough for all that love and support. Hope all of your year is filled with a lot more happiness than the previous one ❤️❤️

@anxiouslarrie. Cata, my love. What can I say to you. You're my bug sis. My candle in the terrifying darkness. The elder sister I never knew I needed. You're so pretty and smart and wise and understanding. All that you've done for me till now, not even my close irls could do it. Being there for me, helping me out, keeping me sane, giving me advices. I don't know what I did to deserve you. You're so nice and sweet and just amazing. I love you loads and more. Thank you so much for being ❤️❤️

@decemberries dheera meri jaan, meri dharampartner. I can't believe I have a Tumblr mutual who I had the blessing to meet IRL. It was an extremely fun experience. And I love you even more now that I know you personally. You're funny and pretty and so so lovely, but along with that, you're so talented and wise and no I'm not going to hear another word of denial. You're someone who understands me, knows me from up close, and I'm glad that I have you for real in my life now. You're just awesome. I love you so muchhh 💖

@hlkings mari, you're one of the few people on here that I trust and open up with. You're so sweet and wise. Always there for everyone, willing to help them deal with their problems, guiding them, advising them. I can't appreciate you enough. Thank you for being there for me too. I love you a lot you know that? I do. And I admire you too. Your gifs are one of my most fav things on here. Never stop being creative and fun and of course, horny as usual, my favourite whore 💞

@moonknowshome Angie my most beloved, you adorable,.sweet soul. I wish I could hug you right now. You're like a soft plushie on a hard night. Always brightening my day with your sweet messages and cute stickers. I want to squish you and never let go, will you let me do that? Thank you so much for making my days better and tolerable. I love you tons💜

Everybody else: @otbnaga @writtenalloveryourface28 @agape-28 @ladychlo @pop-punklouis @complictedfreak @itsnotreal @persephoneflouwers @perksofbeingasunflowerblog @stood-onthecliffside @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk @bluewinnerangel @loulovehome @saturdaystakethepainaway-fitf @thosefookinvacados @nauticallyrics @tiredeyeslouis @mostardently @anapologethicc @kiwikiwiandkiwi @awesomefringey @louistomlinsun @harryslonecurl @itmustbefireproof @throughthedarklive @sarcastic-sue @thetriangletattoo @curlyhairedprince and all the others (bc of Tumblrs shitty url limit) thank you for making my Tumblr experience so blissful and fun, I never had a bad post on my dash because you lit it up with all the good content and happiness. Some of you who are talented creators, some who have such beautiful and wise thoughts, some who are just incredibly funny, some who are my really good friends, you all make being on Tumblr worth it. Thank you. Have a pleasant new year full of happiness and success and keep doing what you do. I love it 💞

[gurokichi]

i really appreciate the concern, puppy. but i cant help but worry about keeping others waiting. i dont want to leave you be, puppy. i must always be on the prowl, waiting to pounce.

hm, than perhaps i am a mootie. you got that right. you just need to find out which one. and yes, i do frequent your main blog. still, unfortunately you havent posted much. but i can wait.

so your god likes pokemon too? my taste would be near divine, then! dont you think, puppy? what’s his favourite pokemon, if i may ask?

and i love hoopa! especially its big form. its over 36 feet tall if im not wrong? it is perhaps one of the biggest pokemon ever! leafeon is also a cute one. to me, its an elegant little guy.

he must be a pleasant person from what ive read, your god. id love to get to know him.

(🎶)

AUGH, sorry for the late reply. I was watching BSD and tumblr didn’t give me a notif, whoopsie. I’m glad to see that you’re back!! I really don’t mind waiting, I promise.

Ah, seriously?? I wasn’t expecting you to have actually known my main blog… hahah, how long ago did you find this one? Did you know right away who I was, or have you only recently figured it out? I mean, I purposefully made them a bit similar. I was curious to see if anyone would realize! As for me posting there… you may be waiting for a while. I’m hiding out here. I built up a following there, and I’d feel bad suddenly posting stuff that I didn’t originally warn about in my intro. I made this sideblog so that I could post whatever unhinged stuff I wanted. Basically, this one is a more extreme version of my main. I’d hate to accidentally upset someone (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

My God does like Pokémon! That makes sense, so I think I’d agree about your taste being close to the divine. Funnily enough, you actually remind me of my God. My God’s favorite is the popplio evolution line! They do have some other favorites… but I’d have to go back and check. I don’t wanna get anything wrong.

REALLY?? I feel like I rarely meet people who like hoopa. I have no idea how tall hoopa’s big form is… I prefer tiny hoopa. That’s really cool that it’s one of the tallest. Leafeon is an elegant lil guy!! I adore leafeon, but I am also a bit tired of it. Everyone seems to associate me with leafeon. I got several leafeon plushies (Which I got quite a few on the same birthday. By coincidence. Multiple people bought me slightly different leafeon plushies as they didn’t know someone else was getting me one 😭) and the funko pop in my room, ehehe.

My God is a very pleasant person!! They’re always so nice to me, they make me incredibly happy. As for getting to know them… maybe. I’m pretty possessive over them. I’ve gotten sick over seeing them talk to others. Of course, I can’t exactly stop you if you figure out who they are. I think I’d be pretty upset if you were to do that, though. At this point in time, I’m just not likely to introduce you two. I have no idea if they’d even want their account mentioned on this blog anyways. Although you might get a response from my God if you send something on anon here to them! I’d be okay with that >ᴗ<

[welcometololaland]

Because I suck at originality, I’m going to ask you your top 5 Disney movies in exchange for you making me suffer and pick books! You’re lucky ily 💜💜

oh no i'm sorry for causing you pain lmao! love you!! thanks for the ask!

so i don't watch disney that often, and i need to caveat this by saying i have not yet seen the new little mermaid and i desperately want to! so i'm going to answer this ask with my favourite 5 disney movies from childhood (because it's more unhinged). also, i haven't seen so many of the new disney movies incl. moana, frozen, encanto etc. i know i'm behind! i hope you don't mind!

1. the lion king 2: simba's pride (1998) - it's no coincidence that my favourite animal is a lion, and it wasn't until the lion king sequel that my obsession with big cats became fully realised. now, i hear you ask: 'lola? why would your favourite movie be a direct to video sequel?' WELL. my parents didn't watch a lot of tv when i was young, and we didn't get a vcr player until dvd's were just about to make them obsolete. but the one vcr i had was lion king 2 and i used to take it to my grandparents house like once a week and watch it. i watched it so many times the tape went funny. i could literally recite this movie, and i haven't watched it in YEARS. ALSO it doesn't have an elton john slapper but it does have: he lives in you, not one of us and that zira's lullaby which i can't get out of my head now. certified bangers. don't knock it 'til you try it.

2. the lion king (1994) - i don't know if i even have to explain this. the first seventeen times (approx.) i watched this movie i had to hide in the scary parts because it's so good but also i was probably like 4 and didn't understand that movies are the same every time you watch them. kickstarted the obsession with lions. scar's be prepared song is liked on my spotify.

[interlude for a controversial opinion: i don't like toy story. don't come for me.]

3. lady and the tramp (1955) - a classic movie for a dog lover (not JUST a cat lover, turns out i just love animals). i used to be completely obsessed with how cute lady was and i wanted a dog called lady SO BAD. the spaghetti scene is so iconic. lady's sidekicks are so funny. the pound puppies make me cry SOMEONE ADOPT THEM!!! this movie made my parents regret ever letting me borrow something from the video store because i wouldn't stop harassing them for a dog.

4. the incredibles (2004) - still fucking pissing myself at this movie like why did they make the mom have such a dump truck booty??? the dad is hilarious. the kids are lowkey annoying but i do like them. frozone is my favourite character: 'HONEY, WHERE IS MY SUPERSUIT??!'

5. the parent trap (1998) - lindsay fucking lohan made me want to get my ears pierced so bad and i only chickened out like five times before i finally got them done. this movie made me wanna be a twin. i kept giving my sister sideways looks and questioning whether we could pull it off (spoiler: we couldn't).

thanks for the ask, this was fun!!!

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff: The Super Mario Bros Movie

A fan shouldn't always sugarcoat it. Even if you get something you never figured you'd ever want but appreciate a lot, that doesn't mean a bias should bury any deeper feelings. What I'm getting at is Illumination's Super Mario Bros Movie can be so awesome and it was worth going to the theaters to see personally, but I can't get over the crippling flaw it has to say it was as great as I could say now. Better to be honest now than get increasingly unfulfilled later. First, though, I gotta give the props where they are due.

First, Bowser was The Best in this and I want him

For real, the animation was what I waiting for this whole time, no problems here. The film is fun. If it wasn't fun, that means Disney would've made it and it'd never come out anyways because of "creative differences". Illumination I found can make animations that are really bouncy fun, and it's best shown here. Plus the characters look incredible, DK especially, and there are moments where, in the best way, it felt like a cutscene from a video game I would want to play. Not to snipe at the Sonic movies, but this is seriously what I've wanted from video game movies since... Angry Birds 2? Like enough with the hybrid live-action crap, make a cartoon if the sourced game is about a CARTOON universe. "You mean like Ratchet & Cla-"

We do not... talk about that one.

This leads to something tricky I had in mind to discuss, and that's "faithfulness". Not long ago I watched the 1993 Mario Bros movie, a fiasco that one can argue was unfaithful to most of the source materials even with the few things they got right. Did we get something more suitable here? Well, I definitely wasn't annoyed with the fucking stupid discourse surrounding Peach's characterization and Mario's voice that's for sure. Many will cite this as having a great fuckton of references but I enjoyed the liberties they took whether or not they were references. The fact it starts out in Brooklyn made me already smile but the final act had my booty jiggle with unhinged glee. There's some corniness to it, especially with the certain musical needle drops they do, but even then it felt like they reveled in the corniness of those moments. This made me believe Nintendo and Illumination were looking to just make it excitable and enjoyable regardless of what fits where. It pains me though, knowing that there is that crippling flaw I mentioned at the beginning because while this film was fun, it went by fast. Ludicrously so... disjointedly so.

It was the Apex Cinema Speedrun, if you will

Many negative reviews claim this has a very thin plot and I honestly didn't consider that a wholly bad thing. A thin plot doesn't mean it wasn't cohesive or focused, or that there weren't any arcs to be had. The real problem comes in that certain moments don't feel earned when we barely get any time to cherish them. The pacing of this was kinda atrocious, the tight runtime truly being a detriment behind ideas for characters getting brought up well only to have shallow payoffs. Peach and Luigi especially had something about them I wanted to see more of, but before you got to see the plant blossom, they keep chugging and you're like "Ah, that's it?" They didn't need to spell everything out but let the characters breathe.

Bowser and DK felt like the exception

If this was the only movie we ever got again (knocking on wood), the fun of it all would soon subside for increased disappointment in the long run. I could say "This needs more movie" as a compliment, but that would mean I was fine with what we got. The live-action film, batshit as it was, felt consistent with everything it wanted to show and tell whether or not you saw the director's cut. That's why it became a cult hit, you remember how batshit it was. I genuinely enjoyed the film, but even with its many stand-out moments, it's gonna be hard to remember this film as much as I want to.

Except for Lumalee, I don't ever wanna forget them

I won't tout this overall as mid or "playing it safe" because they did so much right with this. When I say they stuck the landing with the Mario brothers themselves, that genuinely got to me. When we got the adventure, I relished the adventure. Like for the love of god, give me more of all this PLEASE! However, I won't give it a pass and call it perfect just because it tickled the Nintendo fan in me. Illumination's great when it comes to being in the moment, that's why I stopped hating on them, but in terms of their films having staying power this being a Mario film is carrying it hard from being a potentially forgettable one. For me, this is the movie adaptation of the Super Mario Super Show I never knew I wanted but looked forward to and felt was worth it. At the same time, my mind is fighting my heart strong knowing this Mario movie could've definitely been stronger. My final say is that it's a 6/10 movie with 10/10 moments. If you're looking for fun, this delivers no doubt, and don't let this review stop you from calling it a personal masterpiece.

What matters is that Mario finally made the Range

[yakumtsaki]

How’s it going, Liz?

-Oh, never better, I always eat an entire pizza at 10 am.  -Do you mind if I have the last slice, Eliza? Not even my incredibly toned cheerleading body can handle all that hot-tub woohoo without a snack break! -Ok that’s it. 

DON’T DO IT ELIZA

-I’M DOING IT

LIZ THE CHEERLEADERS ALL HAVE 10 BODY POINTS

-YA I’M STARTING TO SENSE THAT

-Noooo, how could this happen!?!

Sophito don’t even larp like you’re not like >:D under that hand, I hate you so much. 

Absolutely EMBARRASSING.

-YA THANKS, BITCH, I KNOW

Liz I think we can all tell you’re not mad at me but mad at yourself.

-NO, I’M MAD AT YOU

Moi?

-You ruined everything, why couldn’t you just ignore his want panel you stupid fucking moron?!?

Because I don’t ignore wants! Like you want to throw a party right now and we’re throwing one!

-I DON’T WANT A PARTY

Too bad because you’re getting one! We have enough problems without adding your fucked up aspiration meter to them.

Awww look at Sophito introducing Kea to his cousin, cute!

-Hey bro, this is Kea the Cheerleader, I don’t know her last name but I’m marrying her. -Nice to meet you, Kea, I’m Sugar, Claire’s boyfriend! That’s my entire identity now! If you’ll excuse me, I have a date on the yard with my girlfriend, Claire, whom I adore!

The way Sugar is perma plat and has the highest grades is just. Like I’m happy for him but it’s SO hard to get used to it. I do love the visual contrast between his outfit and Claire’s tho lol. 

-Oh Sugarbun, let’s stay eternally blissful and never do anything remotely dramatic or interesting! -That’s certainly the way to get some airtime around here!

Ok ya, moving on..

..The soundtrack to Sugarbun and Claire’s dream date is provided by Eliza playing the drums and looking like she got some tragic news from the war front. Liz wtf, IT’S SOPHITO, if anything you dodged a bullet. 

-Leave me alone! 

Come on, don’t be like that, we’ll throw your toga party and avoid aspiration failure and you don’t even have to talk to anyone!

-UGH FINE.

See, isn’t it nice in the hot tub with Wilfred and his Habsburg jaw?

-Oh Wilfred, you might have been my third choice but at least I’m certain you’ll never betray me. -Never, darling! I’d rather drown in this hot tub water that the entire household woohoos in but we never change! -I know, I know. Now let me just leave you unattended for 5 minutes so I can go beat up Stacy..

-WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

HA. I’VE BEEN HAVING STACY WORK OUT! Your unhinged hateboner for her ends today!!

-GET REKT, BITCH! But I still hope we can put this behind us and be friends!

Stacy I cannot with your billion nice points, you and Julian are straight up too cute for this world. 

That’s right Liz, let’s collect what’s left of your pride and go find Wilfred-

-HITTING ON BLUE MEATBALLS. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. NO WAY

-Let me tell you, Blue Meatballs, I thought the blue half of your hair would cancel out my black hair turn on, but if anything it doubles it..

WILFRED OH MY GOD

Bro ok I straight up feel bad for Liz now, I think she’s having the worst day I’ve ever had a sim have?? Good LORD

I literally CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING. Also hi to the anon who sent me this curse, I just wanna talk🔪

BLUE MEATBALLS WHY ARE YOU CRYING

-WAAAAH STOP FIGHTING YOU’RE RUINING THIS FOR ME!!!

[unsleepingtales]

Finale Time. I have food, I have a drink, let’s do this.

Three whole hours <3

Somehow I forgot about the outfits.

Former emo kid Murph is so dear to me

Lipstick by Rick Perry!

$217 at hot topic would not buy six outfits I hate to break it to you.

They all look great, but. Zac looks really good.

Mazey’s mini looks so cool!

Like some kind of fucked up pokemon

Naur

That was spinning for so long oh my god

18 D10????

Holy shit!!!

You’re saying that the shatter stars were parasitically possessing the rat grinders. That’s what you’re telling me right now. PLEASE bad kids hear and process what that means. Please.

Noooo Mazey

Oop

You’re telling me Buddy Dawn isn’t absurdly charismatic? Wild.

Fuck!

FUCK YOU MAN

Oh my god

I’m gonna throw up

Oh my fucking god if Gorgug perma dies I’m gonna. Be upset.

Excuse me?? Is that what he says??

He’s lying girl!!!

OOOOOHHH

Oh god

:( bye kipperlilly

Devastating!

No.

FUCK.

Oh god the hat.

I love the skeleton hand over Siobhan’s pink glove I think that’s fun

FUCK the failed death saves are so bad

God what an incredible turn from Adaine

Someone please incorporate Jace calling Porter ‘Boss’ into their Starbreaker fic

Did not like that sound at the start of Jace’s turn

It really is circus hours you’re so right Ally

Cool hand :)

(Brennan mimics Bigby’s Hand jiggling impotently) god

THANK GOD

I will admit that Zac’s casual ‘well that’s fun because I rolled a 33’ was hot. It was.

Awww the song from the first episode <3

That was a sick move.

I’m so stressed guys

Don’t do this to me don’t do this to me actually I don’t care :(

Yeah making the minis kiss is d&d. That’s what d&d is about

ITS SQUEEM WITH A STEEL CHAIR SIX CORTADOS

And Balthazar!

Mass healing word cast via cortados 😭😭

Awww Fabian’s version of German Shepherd mode!

Kisses and a girlfriend!!

It’s great that you’re wearing a black lip while you’re doing this Lou. It’s great

Oh you’re fucking kidding me

Oh christ

Oh my god

This is what a lot of dms look like yeah

I do love that apparently the big difference is really that K2 lives in a world dmed by Zac Oyama

HER PARENTS GOT DIVORCED?????????

I’m gonna lose it

I really hope Brennan gets to take a minute

Cotton candy lung?????

(Murph cackling in slo mo)

Some god is having so much fun with Brennan right now

Oh my god

OH MY GOD????

K2 is on earth right now. In England. In Austin. Somewhere.

Oh that’s so upsetting. Brennan is really going through it.

THATS HER VAPE

K2 is granted true life. K2 is now a human cleric who has a memory of Kristen’s life but in England.

Just mirrors that anatomy just in a British way.

I’m gonna lose my goddamn mind.

THANK YOU ADAINE <3 Kristen already has sisters!!

Hi Cassandra! Are you just. Back now?

AND THEN SHE BOWS

MLADY

Somehow I don’t think it was Porter saying ‘enough’

We never followed up with them

Oh noooooo

I do not appreciate the paladin hate! Just because this paladin was evil does not mean that the entire class is bad! Fig is also a paladin!

God I’m stressed and there’s still an hour and a half left

Sandra Lynn!! Jawbone!! Lydia!! Ragh!!

YOU DO PLUR WITH BALTHAZAR?????

AGENT CLARK????????

One: why does he count as an ally Two: this really is so unhinged at this point

Fuck

She has faith in her friends and maybe that’s enough <3

Oh that’s so smart. Siobhan Thompson you’re so incredibly smart.

New Gorgug ability!!!

Thank you for not letting k2 get this one

That’s not justice

Love a (potentially unintentional) callback to Fig pretending to be a bouncer in freshman year

God Ankarna is so beautiful

I really love all the mini shots

Oh Emily found her camera for that one

Oh god okay we actually get some emotions thank you

My potential is mine. And I can do with it what I want to do with it.

Goddammit Ally Beardsley. You’re really good at this.

Ohhh god Gorgug and Kristen are the first to find each other. Hold on that’s gotta be its own post.

You don’t wanna kill your mom and get your inheritance though?

Riz Gukgak you kill me dead. Riz Gukgak I can’t.

Oh god if they cry I’m gonna cry

Emily Axford the person you are.

Friends can hurt each other so deeply and it’s so painful.

Please. Let him understand. Let her help him understand.

Oh my god. Maybe this is the one that gets me. The release from parental expectation.

Oh god okay thank you Cassandra’s back that was what I needed.

Now go away. Literally forever.

You crack a cortado???

The purple hair really brings out Beardsley’s eyes. I’m listening to them and what they’re saying and it’s beautiful but also their eyes are lovely.

Rebellion without hope for a dawn is cynical

God they’re mirroring the painting.

They’re married! They’re back together and they’re going to rest

Is SQUEEM Ankarna’s familiar 😭

Wait so who are you bringing back

Arthur Aguefort driving a station wagon

AYDA!!!!!

Well dang.

That’s some narc shit 💀💀

President Applebees.

Lucy’s back? Lucy’s back!!!

Okay so they are bringing the rat grinders back. Okay.

Zac Oyama….. hiiii

Hey WHAT.

WHAT

I LIKE TO SIT DOWN?????? THAT’S THE MOVE??????

What are you Talking about

The world does not rest on what college you go to. It just doesn’t.

Bitchy sisters my beloveds <3

Uncle Ray!!!!!!!! I love this I love this for him

OOF

Why is Telemaine there

CATHILDA ART!!!!!!

Yesssssss

The odds are quite literally one in one hundred Brennan.

They’re comedians!!!! They’re so good at comedy!

Josh???

The child???

Josh get ready for warrrrr Josh

Awwww yayyyy

Yesss get Riz student gov on his resume!!

Oh Trackerbees. They know each other better than most people and they have love for each other.

Nooooo Kristennnnn

Okay that was an unreasonable expectation

I will not understand this for years 😭😭

Hmm. Feeling weird about Trackerbees but what else is new.

Gorgug made Fig an effects pedal. Oh god.

Why are you giving her THAT BENCH

Ooooh Gorgug teaching would be fun

Hey WHAT

Tip top! [and he turns into birds]

Oh Fig and Sandra Lynn. Oh god.

Aguefort never holds podcasts against anyone

Oh boy oh boy!

KALINA!!!!!

What a show. What a time. It’s been an honor to spend the past five months with everybody here on d20 tumblr, and I’ll see you at Basrar’s 💜💜

[digisurvive]

Aoi, 16, 26, 29

I gotta commend you for picking the question that'd get me the most unhinged lmao

16 A childhood headcanon

I think she cried when she got enrolled into elementary school, and she cried again when she graduated it. She didn't cry when she enrolled into middle school, but she probably will when she has to give her valedictorian graduation speech.

26 When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

This is a funny question. While she self-censors and has a hidden face, it's not that her outer behavior is "fake". It's been carefully chosen to act in accordance to her values, so it's not exactly phony. Both things are facets to herself as much as Labramon's opin​ion​at​ed​ness is.

But the answer is still Wrathful LMFAAAAOO

Not because she acts her worst (tho I'm very partial to it), but because we get elaboration into how her internal monologue operates. Any moment we can appreciate how her rigid thinking compounds with her emotions to inform what she chooses to say or how to act is the most her.

29 How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?)

OH boy!!!!!!!!

I have thought a lot about parents and children for a long time, not necessarily related to Survive, but adding onto the layer that her character is actually described as being like a mother... What a loaded question! Where to even begin.

It's Complicated. Aside from the fact I don't believe in nuclear families lol, there's also the factor motherhood is very much an expectation on women (even downright to the belief gay couples are unproductive bc they can't bear children uhm. If you wanna add another layer...). And then we have such an A-type personality. A huge pencil pusher. Big proponent of social Harmony. Someone who explicitly self-censors and tries to fulfill the expectations that are on her; going the extra mile in all aspects of her life. And she totally doesn't harbor deep-seated murderous resentment over it. And child rearing is a thankless, relentless job— one that under the current social structures makes the brunt of it fall onto mothers. It has all the potential to make her incredibly neurotic, bitter and passive aggressive. We already see her evoke the image of a really fucked-up mother in Canon.

But you can also say. Well, that's under extreme duress. And the thing is: she'd be an absolutely devoted mother. She'd go above and beyond to make sure her child(ren) had all their needs met; she's very attentive to detail and accommodating of others. Can you call someone like that a bad parent? Hell, she actually can be pretty sweet to little children. She has the understanding you can't place the same expectations you would on peers onto little children, that they need guidance. And she sure loves guiding others to the correct path.

But then again, her arc distinguishes her perception of Rightness to what is actually Fair. And she can actually hold really conservative expectatives of what constitutes proper behavior. Ah, expectations over your children is such a classic parent-child conflict. Consider a really happy childhood with the expectations gradually increasing. She has deeply set ideas of how things should be— she'd be the kind of mother you don't talk back to, who's always right, who'd rarely accept she's wrong. After all, she is the one kid who doesn't back down. But she doesn't yell at you, doesn't insult you, doesn't neglect you. So really. She isn't a bad mother... Is she?

And she isn't hard to understand. Rather, if you ask, you might get an honest answer that isn't still totally self-censored. Like she's so good at communicating her needs and what bothers her. She'd never fall into thinly veiled polite threats, bitter passive aggression nor controlling behavior, nope sir...

But then again. Truthful is predicated on the idea the kids are working on being their best. That being connected to a group enables your own development. And the one constant always is that she needs others to help her in substantive ways so she doesn't give in her hidden resentments. So that she can question her ideals and have people to look up to. So really, I guess How much of a reasonably flawed parent she would be depends on the others lol And on what point of her life she is. How much she has questioned her ideology, how flexible has she become. How willing to self express and self determine she is. One would Hope she wouldn't become a mother bc it's what she ought to do as a good citizen. One would hope she spent a long time purposefully exploring her baggage and learning about child development and actually wanting to prioritize the kid's self development and happiness over social expectations....

Uhm, chances are she'd be the kind of mom you often have to bring up to your therapist but regularly visit lol

Funnily enough, I think she'd make a really great daycare worker. Because, you know, she has an excellent work ethic and would be really conscientious and purposeful to prepare for her work. The power differential is still there but it's not absolute. The distance would do her some good. And she does seem to really like small, cute children lol

[dream-critical]

Mercury you are Incredibly fucking correct about the way older people in the fandom act my GOD. I've been in a couple adults only fan spaces and holy SHIT you'd think adults who were here for like allllll of the other youtubers doing horrid stuff, who condemned CMC for doing The Same Thing As Dream. Would find this shit weird but they Don't! Moving from DSMP centric circles to Life Series/Hermit/Empires centric ones was like an ENORMOUS shock bc while there are still bad eggs in those spaces there are FAR fewer adults making every aspect of how they engage with these block guys about how bad they wanna fuck them or see them fuck each other. DSMP spaces I was in went "Nah it's Normal that Dream's giving out a phone number for fans to text him and get a real reply because broadcast celebs did that" and ignore that most celeb replies are automated entirely and also don't typically humor messages calling them sexy gay dogboys or daddy or any of that shit.

Back when that was happening there were Not grooming allegations about Dream yet but it was like a month at most after the CMC situation and anyone who like Thought about it for more than a moment could noodle out that like. Even if there would never be accusations against Dream, he sets the foundation for what a LOT of people will consider normal content creator behavior until the next big thing unseats him in like ten or so years. The idea that private snapchats or a text line that only you and the other person see unless one party publishes the messages are Normal Things to hand out to your primarily tweenage audience is like. Bad. Like even if he DIDN'T groom anyone he still sets the standard that privately talking to a grown man just shy of twice your age with 20 million followers is a normal and good interaction! The other adults in those spaces should have been seeing SO many more fucking red flags in the moment! It should not have been me and three other people who weren't OBSESSED with the man who were the only ones concerned with that!

And by GOD the RPF discussion. I spent months being told that I was just being an anti or a hater for agreeing that Dream repopularized super public RPF and RPF being sent to creators and blockign over RPF being abnormal. Like. My credentials here are I've been in Youtuber fandoms before and since falling in and out with the DSMP. I grew up on DeviantArt in the heyday of Septiplier and Phan getting sent to the content creators. I saw the culture change enough to have a significant pushback against shipping those guys from Buzzfeed Unsolved by 2019. I've BEEN online and I know that Dream and George encouraging ship content being sent to them and made hyper public like Drastically changed how often I found RPF on my timeline. YES shit was bad during SMPLive. It was SO much worse ten years ago and it's getting back to those levels as more kids migrate out of the DSMP/DTeam fandoms and act like content creators need to see their fanfic or fanart of them being used as Sex Objects. And being told I was just making shit up or hatemongering against Dream for noticing the Real pattern in how the public treats RPF? It made me feel unhinged then and it still makes me feel unhinged now.

anyways long rant over it takes me 0 whole dollars to think critically abt how I engage with people's Minecraft DND characters and how I engage with the actual creators and adults who act like that expectation is Censorship Of Queer People are dumb of ass.

I literally couldn't have agreed more with you anon. I wasn't in the fandom back when SMP live was a thing, but i do have experiences with fandoms where RPF is completely normalized outside of the dsmp. I'm kind of gonna go on a rant of my own as well here. But like

It's frustrating to see how these people, Idols, content creators, celebrities etc are dehumanized and often just seen as an object to project all of their emotions, whether it's frustrating, lust etc on to.

Like they genuinely stop seeing them as people, even if they don't want to admit it.

It honestly isn't even just about sexual content, stuff like writing rpf fics and assuming certain people's roles within the lives of the ccs they like is also weird

Like how you can find rpf fics where the ccs parents are abusive. How you can find fics where the significant other of the cc is cheating which is why they leave them for their friend and discover they were in gay love all along. or Fics where its revealed that "actually this specific moment that happened irl on stream was a sign of abuse and the people who claim to be the friend of X cc are actually toxic and don't deserve them" And its just like??????

People are reading into things so hard. And I'll admit when I'm hyperfixating hard it's sometimes difficult to differentiate what I feel and what the cc I watch feels or expresses, but I'm aware that that's parasocial behaviour and I ignore it. It's my brain tricking me into thinking I know that person and that they feel and see everything the same as I do. It's not healthy to indulge in that even if it can feel comforting.

And the problem with the dteam specifically is that they encourage this type of behaviour like a lot, and the only reason they do is profit.

Back to nsfw content though, it absolutely is going to become a lot worse and I'm not looking forward to that