#this intro graphic was ... stressful for me .

[navybrat817]

Fall Like a Rose Petal

Pairing: Soft Dark!Scott Huffman x Female Reader Summary: Your normal routing leaves you unhappy and you can't figure out why. Word Count: Over 1.4k Warnings: Gaps in memory, gaslighting, coercion, creepy vibes, Scott Huffman (yep, he's a warning) A/N: Scott and Rose's Intro for my Disturbia AU! ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You enjoyed living your life according to a schedule. It wasn't that you didn't like spontaneity. You just looked forward to accomplishing tasks each day. Checklists were a thing of beauty and crossing things off one by one were your mini victories. You tried to get the toughest things out of the way first to create and keep your momentum throughout the rest of the day. By the time your head hit the pillow, you had a sense of fulfillment.

Happiness.

So why do I feel like I'm going around in circles?

You stared at your "To Do" list after you set the table for dinner. Scott would be home any minute with the expectation of a warm meal prepared. Instead of crossing it off like normal, you grabbed the pink sheet of paper and went to the sink. You watched dispassionately as you took a lighter and set the corner of it on fire. You dropped the charred paper in before it could burn you and turned the water on. It didn't make you feel any better.

The smell won't mix well with the delicious food I cooked. A good wife takes pride in her work.

Sniffling when you heard the car pull into the driveway, you quickly went to light a rose scented candle before you fixed Scott a drink. A lawyer who fought for people who couldn't fight for themselves, you admired your husband and how hard he worked. He cared about what he did and you supported him.

But what do I want?

You couldn't explain why you felt moody all of a sudden. Today was exactly like how every other day was. You did your chores like normal and gave Ruby some tips on cooking a casserole. It was nice. So why did you feel off?

What did I used to do to relieve stress before I moved here?

You hissed at the sudden sharp pain in your head. As fast as it came on, it went away into nothingness. The way some of your memories did. You wondered if you liked making lists because you were a forgetful person. But that didn't seem right.

"I'm home!" Scott announced as he walked in.

You smoothed out your dress and smiled as you went to greet him. "How was your day?" you asked, giving him a gentle kiss once the door was shut. His lips lingered before he pressed them a little harder against yours. You accepted it, both pliant and eager.

A good wife is always happy to see her husband.

"It was good," he said, handing you his briefcase as he took the drink you offered. "How was yours?"

"I'm glad you had a good day," you said, biting your lip as he waited for you to answer his question. "I don't know."

Scott raised an eyebrow. "You don't know?" He asked slowly, setting his drink on the hall table to focus all of his attention on you. "Did something happen?"

"No. Nothing happened," you said, leaning into his hand when he touched your cheek.

A good wife doesn't worry her husband.

"Was there anything out of the ordinary today?" he asked, his blue eyes searching your face for some sort of explanation. "Rose, talk to me."

"No. Nothing. I just…" your face scrunched up, frustrated that you couldn't pinpoint the problem. "Do you ever just wake up in a weird mood for no reason?"

Scott nodded after a moment. "Yeah, I think we all have those kinds of days. There's no specific reason why we're upset. We just are."

"Yeah, exactly," you said, happy that he understood.

He knows exactly how to read me.

"So, you're having an off day. That's okay."

"But I don't know what to do about it," you said, an unexpected tear slipping from your eye. "I tried to think of what to do to make myself feel better and nothing came to mind."

"What about what we used to do?" he suggested.

You furrowed your brows, not sure what he was talking about.

"You don't remember?" he asked, a touch of hurt in his voice. You wanted to apologize, even though you didn't do anything wrong. "We used to sit on the floor in my office while we ate. You'd say one good thing about the day and I'd say something else. We'd go back and forth until we ran out of things."

There were bits and pieces of flashes in your mind of sitting with him on his office floor, but not a seamless memory.

"I thought that meant something to you," he whispered.

Which prompted you to burst into tears.

A good wife doesn't make a scene.

Scott said something to you, but you didn't hear him over the sound of your crying. You let him take you to the sofa and collapsed in his arms. "What's wrong with me?" You sobbed.

"Nothing. There's nothing wrong with you," he promised, wiping at your cheeks with his thumbs.

"Something has to be," you mumbled, gesturing to the room. "I do my checklist every day and something feels like it's missing. Like there's a void."

Where's my real sense of purpose?

"I'm going to make a phone call," he said, brushing away another tear. "Give me just a second, okay?"

"Okay," you replied, not sure how a call would help, but you didn't voice that opinion when he stepped out of the room.

A good wife doesn't pry.

You toyed with the hem of your dress and looked around the room. It was like something out of a magazine. Everything had its place. A home built with love.

Right?

"Hey," Scott said when he came back a few minutes later. "I think I figured out part of the problem."

"You have?"

"When's the last time you've done anything for yourself?" he asked as he sat next to you. When you couldn't give him an answer, he nodded. "Exactly. You're so busy taking care of our home and me that you neglected your needs. No, I neglected those needs. And for that, I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault. You work so hard," you said, putting your hand over his. It was strange how you wanted to make him feel better when you were the one upset.

A good wife puts her husband's needs ahead of her own.

"But I should know when something is bothering my wife," he said, clenching his jaw. "I won't let it happen again."

"It's okay, Scott."

"No. You need to get out of the house more. Spend quality time with the wives. Have fun," he said, a smile spreading on his handsome face. "Which is why we're going to get a part-time maid."

"A maid?" you questioned, a tremor running through your body. Why did that frighten you? "No, we can't get a maid. What would everyone say if they found out? They'll think I can't take care of our home."

A good wife doesn't argue with her husband.

"They won't say anything. Andy's the one who recommended her and everyone knows you run our home with pride," he assured you, which calmed you down slightly. "Not only that, but you help the other wives without a second thought. They admire you and your helpful nature, Rose. I know Bucky's wife will, too."

You smiled a little. Bucky's wife was the talk of the neighborhood, though you hadn't met her yet. "I don't want anyone judging you."

What I do and don't do is a reflection on him.

"You have nothing to worry about. And since the maid would be part-time, she'll only do some of the chores. You pick and choose what you want to do and she can do the rest while you relax or pick up a hobby. You deserve that."

"Can I think about it, please?" you asked. A stranger in your home made you nervous, but if Andy and Scott trusted her, that helped.

Scott wouldn't do anything that caused me discomfort.

His jaw clenched again, but he smiled before you could dwell on it. "Sure," he said, kissing your forehead. "Do you feel any better?"

I don't know.

"I think so. Thank you," you said to appease him. "Why don't we eat on the floor in your office? We can talk about the good things."

He smiled like you handed him a gift. "That's a great idea."

Maybe you would take him up on his offer for a maid, if only to regain a sense of yourself.

As long as I keep Scott happy.

Remember, everything is FINE. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Scott Huffman Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[cellarspider]

9/30 What remains

(Previous) | (Index) | (Next)

⛬

We return to the movie that I’m not giving a jokey intro to this time, Prometheus. 

When I was in archaeological field school, we were digging in an area that had been continuously inhabited since the Neolithic period. Untold numbers of people had lived there through the ages.

And so it wasn’t entirely unexpected when someone told the professors that a construction crew across the street had just dug up a human skull.

(https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/work-begins-to-excavate-45-000-skeletons-from-hs2-site-at-london-euston-a3972926.html )

One of the grad students slapped on a dayglo vest and hard hat, and ran over there to speak with the crew. Undergrads were not allowed anywhere near the site, simply because of the liability risk. But the bones themselves? We weren’t allowed to touch them. They went right into boxes for a specialist to take care of. 

All told, remains from 18 skeletons were found, twelve of them children. They’d been there for about eight hundred years. The professors said the construction crew was diffing on top of a medieval churchyard. They’d dug a hole to connect up the utilities, and their trench went right up to the wall of the former church. You could tell that, the professors said, because unbaptized children would’ve been buried under the eaves of the church: rainwater falling from the eaves was thought to be sanctified, so they’d be blessed every time it rained.

The construction crew wasn’t actually obligated to tell anyone about the bones. There was no legal requirement–the dead were everywhere there. As long as there was no reason to suspect a murder, people could just dig.

But because they did stop, just long enough for the bones to be retrieved, those skeletons would be examined, cataloged, and would either be held in an osteoarchaeological collection for further research, or reburied. There was no strong legal or social pressure one way or the other. That’s not universal–some peoples forbid the practice of handling and studying human remains, or require that remains be reinterred with the most culturally appropriate religious rites that can be provided. There is a lack of international or even regional consensus on what to do in these situations.

(https://railuk.com/rail-news/the-archaeology-of-hs2/)

And there are a lot of places where the wishes of descendants and local cultures have not been honored by archaeologists. The twenty year fight over custody of the bones of Kennewick Man (or the Ancient One) is one notable, hard-fought win for repatriation and reinterment of human remains, and there are many, many cases that have been far worse, that are still worse.

But where we dug, the relevant ethical standards for osteoarchaeologists stressed that “[b]iological remains, particularly human remains, of any age or provenance must be treated with care and dignity.”

We students never saw the bones. We didn’t need to, frankly, it would have been incompatible with those values. Is this how it’s handled everywhere? No. And most of the time, our dig was a very casual and lively place. But these professors were trying to start us out with the best ethical standards they could, which I am grateful for.

That’s the context that was running through my head as I watched Prometheus. Movies tend to treat dead bodies with far less reverence. They often carry some sort of emotional weight–fear, disgust, grief, or even excitement or humor. In violent movies, they’re set dressing, less important than the main characters–unless one of them was a main character. I chafe at that distinction, sometimes, but I’m not squeamish about movie violence. Two of my favorite movies of the year prior had been The Raid and Dredd. Two serendipitously similar action movies where death was relentless, graphic, and cheap–content warning in both links, by the way.

Both movies had carried me through because they were consistent on what they were throughout. I didn’t expect anything more sensitive from movies about action-fantasy cops. Prometheus had already lost me, and it was about archaeologists. Ones who professed a belief that they were there to meet their makers.

And so I found the way they treat the discovery of an alien body to be utterly galling. Despite the fact that I didn’t expect anything better from them by this point, I still wasn’t willing to meet the movie where it wanted me to be. I wasn’t feeling their excitement, trepidation over what else they were going to find next, or any voyeuristic excitement over how screwed they obviously were–any of those might have been the intended emotion, I’m honestly not sure what sort of horror movie Prometheus was trying to be at this point.

I was just seething that they were touching the body. Sticking probes into it. That was bad enough. 

We haven’t even gotten to what they do to the head yet.

⛬

(Previous) | (Index) | (Next)

⛬

Citations for alt-text:

All links listed in-line below the images this time.

[systemofwhispers]

❝𝐒𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨❞

Hello!! We are the System of Whispers, and this blog will mostly just be to rant about stuff and get more moots (we're coming for you >:] /hj). Anyways, most of us don't always front, however we will sign off with our name + emoji!

Generally, you can call us Whisper or Whisp, and collectively we use they/them pronouns!! We also use I/Me and Us/We interchangeably.

Alter intros can be found here

Our partner sys is @lunarfulcrum

Our QPP sys is @fireflycollective

BYF:

- We are firmly anti-endo

- Traumagenic system

- Bodily 16-17

- Will mostly repost things about PJO, Pokémon, Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, and other things that I (the host) am interested in!! (note, i do not support vivziepop for what she has done, or whatever is going around. I js like my little demon show)

DNI:

- Endogenic systems and their supporters (neutrals are walking a very thin line)

- Tulpas, willows, radqueers, transID, etc.

- Basic DNI criteria (homophobes, zoophiles, pedophiles, etc.)

- Paraphiles, pro-shippers, pro-contact paras, anti-recovery, pro-endo/tulpa/willows

- Anyone (bodily) 13 and below

- Anyone (bodily) 30 and above

Frequent Fronters:

(note: this changes frequently, so we'll update as needed)

- Madison 📚 : She/her | Host

- Seraphina 🪖 : She/her | Co-host, stress holder, bodily caretaker

- Josie 🫦 : She/vamp/luv | Love holder, hypersexuality holder

- John 🧼 : He/him | Anger holder, confrontation protector, limit breaker

divider creds: @saradika-graphics

[junior-high-rui-official]

[ooc post]

wahoooo intro post time

edit: I DO NOT GET NOTIFS FOR ASKS OR MENTIONS!! if you send or answer an ask to/from this blog, please LIKE one of the posts so I get a notif and am prompted to check this blog because I have too many.

(important post [8/7/24])

i saw people making rp blogs + didn't want to be a total clone + like angst. so this happened.

im @2-kakimiko-1 i run @junior-high-ena-official @riho-hasegawa-official and @jail-x-break-official too

the mod is autistic and a minor and uses he/it and a handful of neopronouns listed here :3 you don't need to overuse tone tags or anything but I struggle to tell tone sometimes so I'd appreciate it if you used them !! my timezone is est if it matters

i'd prefer if you used he/it/they for the character! Ngl I used to say no shippy interaction but I genuinely do not remember why I felt that way so. its allowed now yippee

for all intents and purposes this blog is set around the end of Rui's 3rd year of junior high/the summer of his 3rd year of junior high. :3

ummm headcanon time because I'll be playing by those. he's pan, aceflux, transmasc and he just figured that out, and autistic and bpd. he knows the former not the latter. bad at taking care of himself but that's a given. yeah 👍

this blog has and will continue to cover heavy topics, mostly bullying and occasionally sh and sui related things. they will all be tagged and if I forget please tell me! you are also always welcome to ask me to tag anything, I'll tag common triggers if I remember but if theres something I miss or something you need tagged again T E L L M E P L E A S E

ummm dni. basic dni criteria racist MAP or w/e homophobic transphobic ableist etc um I think that's it tbh uhh dni if youre weird (/neg) about rui and think hes a violent cannibal yandere whatever the hell. since I did mention he has bpd I think this needs to be picked out even though it falls under ableism get the actual fuck off my blog if you can't be normal about cluster b disorders.

uhhh be nice to rui hes sensitive be nice to the mod i am also sensitive/hj

edit: my rp style!! I feel like I should clarify it!!

ooc is the double slash! → // like this

unformatted text indicates speech! → like this

italics indicate actions! → like this

italics with brackets indicate internal thoughts! → [like this]

tags:

#ooc post - ooc post

#rooftop whispers - everything in-character

#rooftop mewls - funny other in-character tag for when he gets turned into a cat by anons. this will likely become a regular occurrence.

#tw ____ - trigger tags

picrew used for cat icon

--

arc tags and respective warnings:

#kamishiro family angst - series of events catalysed by several rui clones experiencing negative things at once, mrs kamishiro collapsing under the stress of taking care of that all, and as one thing leads to another, other kamishiro family members end up injured and hospitalized. warnings for: hospital related things, overworking, fainting, car accidents, mentions of brainwashing and torture (on exthief rui), descriptions of injury ranging from minor to more graphic to gory.

[1nternetk4ngel]

𝑯𝒆𝒚 𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔!

Hey cuties! Call me Ame or kangel !

I am the internet angel , sent down to bless all of you !

Dxll/dxlls , game/games , shx/hxr , fae/faer !

Links ;;

My age

Where I found the graphics above

Cloud themed intro

Blue themed intro

Moon themed intro

Tag system

Creds for a userbox

Creds for a userbox

Pronouns.cc

Small strawpage

I am ame-chan / kangel irl , doubles can interact ! Please interact actually !

Intra 18

TransBJD , transJapanese !

Previously ;; l0vinghimyan , sc3neliv1ng , dxllys-unstablelife ! All rethemes , not termed !

Whenever posting things relating to being Ame it's also put in the 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚝 font !

When posting things when I feel more like kangel and less like ame it's formatted like this ! ( see below )

[ stress 89 " kill me " ] - [ affection 70 " I like you " ] - [ mental darkness 76 " on the brink " ]

Hey cuties ! [ text text text ] 🙏BLESS🙏

Ask for side blogs !

Posts abt @h4dal-blacksite are like 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 ! With the chat text font :)

Osdd-1b ! ADHD ! OCD ! Heavy paranoia ! Bad anxiety ! Jirai ! Scene ! Yandere !

My favorite music artists ;; sleep token , S3RL , rebzyyx , Colby brock , jake webber , Billie eilish , etc !

Will provide tq translations if asked !

I am very slow , I believe I have autism as well , I'll say this once and only once ;; BE . PATIENT . WITH . ME . This is very important if you want a calm and understanding conversation ! I have a habit of jumping to conclusions the second I think about it ! If I randomly blow up on you please , let me calm down till I'm rational enough to explain !!!!

If you're uncomfy with " kms / kys " jokes , I suggest you stray away from my blog !

No dni , if I don't like you , I'll block ! I block extremely freely ! If your randomly blocked by me please don't take ur personally !

Poly ! Taken x3 !!

Romantic psys and consang ;; @prettylittlecadaver

Romantic psys ;; @h4dal-blacksite

Romantic psys and conabvse ;; @senpai-obsession

The colors of my partners above is the color posts abt them will be !

If you don't like me , simply block ! I don't wanna pick a fight !

🙏BLESS🙏

[mrs-kamishiro-official]

edit: I DO NOT GET NOTIFS FOR ASKS OR MENTIONS!! if you send or answer an ask to/from this blog, please LIKE one of the posts so I get a notif and am prompted to check this blog because I have too many.

// i am not making an intro post again I run other rp blogs my information is there @junior-high-rui-official @junior-high-ena-official @riho-hasegawa-official @jail-x-break-official @jg-ena-official

rui mother. to balance out all this mfking angst. she's an entomologist because I said so. the autism runs in the family. she/her for the character.

cut me a little bit of slack I'm a teenager with mediocre at best parents trying to play an actually good parent I do not guarantee everything will be accurate

you know what I'm gonna say sure to ship interaction AS LONG AS ITS ANOTHER ADULT because I see no reason to prevent the good parents polycule from happening. also idk maybe someone will make a papashiro blog maybe he'll get some relevance. she is bi 🫶

picrew used for icon

picrew used for cat icon

#silk of the luna moth - in character posts

#catbeamed - in character when she's catbeamed

arc tags and respective warnings under cut

#kamishiro family angst - series of events catalysed by several rui clones experiencing negative things at once, mrs kamishiro collapsing under the stress of taking care of that all, and as one thing leads to another, other kamishiro family members end up injured and hospitalized. warnings for: hospital related things, overworking, fainting, car accidents, mentions of brainwashing and torture (on exthief rui), descriptions of injury ranging from minor to more graphic to gory.

[macgyvertape]

Thoughts on Season of the Witch

Usually I do a little post of my thoughts on the D2 season right around when it ends, with little notes I’ve made from playing the season through the weeks and my thoughts about game enjoyment as a whole. For most of Season 22 (Season of the Witch) I didn’t play D2 aside from clan raid nights, then when I did play everything was really overshadowed by the layoffs where discussing it would be repeating the same points said by others about Bungie’s bad upper management. 

Because when Destiny is good and I’m having fun with friends it's “I’m so back” but when I feel obligated to play more than I’d like to get x reward and the grind isn’t respecting my time “its so over”. So for me entangled with the thought of “this is my favorite season of Destiny, I’ve fallen in love with the game again” has been “goddamn Bungie fired the people who made the game this good”. 

I think my favorite seasons storywise are when Eris shows up and does a cool magic ritual against the Witness: I just liked the activities in Witch more than Haunted

The “tithe with haste” mechanic was a fun return of the scythes from season of the Haunted, and overall I really liked Altars of Summoning as a season activity with random encounters of player controlled variable difficulty.

Savathuns Spire had enjoyable randomized combat, but by the end of the season I was tired of the transverse the traps mechanics. 

New graphics card for the season where Eris gets a hot new look, but seriously the game looks gorgeous with light shafts and the highest texture settings. I have a new appreciation for just much effort is put into the maps and items, especially the warlock season pass armor where its a shrouded skull

Weekend of funny guns was so great even if I only got to do about an hour and a half of it due to being out of town. It reminds me of the 12 person bug, just having fun with something silly to push the limits of what's possible.

I liked the fights in the seasonal story missions, there’s a limit to how hard they could be so that everyone could play them but they felt engaging and dramatic like a mini campaign

I liked the Immaru Engine puzzle; a good mix of puzzles where I felt rewarded by making a good faith attempt at trying it without spoilers, and visually the first room is a very cool space. 

Story:

Eris of course dramatically shreds her chest armor in her Hive transformation, but I had a bad graphics card before so I didn’t realize none of the Hive wear tops, even the Wizards aren’t wearing dresses just some sort of tasset skirt

Its a very fun concept that Savathun made this plan that required Eris to turn into a Hive , that Eris and the Guardians had to play along with Savathun’s scheme because both parties benefited.

I’ll never get sick of the hilarious contrast of Immaru being a small floating spiky ball and the gruff threatening way he tries to talk like he’s a Far Cry villain. It got a big laugh out of me that he voiced the intro cutscene 

Xivu Arath was also a delight, I really loved getting more info about her in the lore and her voiced lines in the seasonal activities with the weird Hive look on violence

Immaru beats out “How’s your sister” for most savage personal attack with, “It was fixing the mistake it made when it chose you” 

Very fitting Drifter has the lore for the hand cannon weapon this season, and lmao that it was an “anyway transmat firing” meme. It's the only time in the lore he says it. I also really liked his radio interaction with Immaru

I think it really worked as a writing point to have Immaru be the one on coms telling us that Savathun approves as “positive reinforcement” because then it allows for player character in control moments like when we grab him like a stress ball, without making Savanthun feel less of a threat. 

This season had a lot of good Eris and Ikora interactions, their storyline is something I’ve enjoyed seeing since Shadowkeep

It's a shame the season is transitory, as the cast of characters (Eris, Immaru, Ikora, Xivu Arath, Savathun) and how they interacted with each other in the short seasonal actives has been my favorite 

[adamsvanrhijn]

@javert @alethiometer also anyone else who enjoys scary things and wants to help me out

youtube videos that might be far far to scary by far & make me too scared:

might as well put a bunch in whilst i'm at it

https://youtu.be/hCsPV0eiqxg

https://youtu.be/lL0CkSNUIG8

https://youtu.be/wCUcypJU658

https://youtu.be/2Yueni460aM

https://youtu.be/7eM7pb5M5DU

stuff i CANNOT HANDLE:

home invasion

abduction/kidnapping

stalking

surveillance that is not from a broader organization so like government or organized crime or a cult or whatever is fine but The Next Door Neighbor is not

actual creepy audio (e.g. someone calling in a bomb threat, ransom calls, the perpetrator takes over the 911 call etc)

bodily injury that isn't warned for. not good with gratuitous gore.

someone is at the end of a hallway or behind a corner or outside the door or looking into a window who should not be

someone impersonating a job that can harm me but usually isn't supposed to. like a surgeon. cop is fine that's already scary

i don't love people getting trapped in stuff that's toxic and slowly dying or becoming increasingly horribly injured

actual footage of a human person with pretty much everything above. "(horrible thing happening to a real person who is now either dead traumatized or very injured) caught on camera" stuff.

And The Worst Part Is..... They Could Still Be Out There..... [they = person who did horrible things or person who is trapped in a horrible situation]

stuff i sometimes am ok with

stuff that's like intentionally freaking you out. like nexpo guy's intros usually are stressful for me but i can get over it if it isn't too realistic

if a jump scare or big audio change like a blaring alarm is obviously coming i can deal ok by turning around or covering my ears or something

i like these guys' like, plane crash and historical disaster videos. mining and caving is ok as long as it didn't get too visceral and graphic. i do okay watching forensic files because everything tends to be ok at the end. generally i can put up with a lot if i know going in there will be resolution. i think certain mysteries are very cool.

i would like to watch more from this guy too but a lot of his stuff i know from the thumbnail alone is just. Not for me

https://youtube.com/@ScaryInteresting?si=D5CGMO75CejjMHN1

[bright-and-burning]

runners au? 👁️

ok there's more abt runners au here but i have soooo many thoughts that youre getting more. ask me abt their majors some time i have Thoughts. like yall i will Always go on abt runners au.

i have more or less everyone’s majors worked out. talking abt my ideas for this also made someone on here realize we graduated from the same university bc apparently other schools don’t have rumors abt the tunnels below a building being used to do brain experiments on monkeys. go figure.

fernando is getting his phd in sports psych. it’s very important to me that ppl know this. lewis has also stuck around after graduating to do a phd.

charles lando alex and pierre are all in the same intro drawing class their freshman year and it is a Nightmare for everyone else involved btw. [charles is an architecture major. lando's doing graphic design and like. ui/ux type comp sci. blegh front end but it does unfortunately make sense for him. pierre is doing something w fashion. alex is a biomedical engineering major but he's doing a minor in art even tho he does Not have the time for it.]

uhhh yeah. i’m trying to sketch out the equivalencies of like . the rises and falls of various careers . which does mean like. injuries etc. i give a few ppl stress fractures </3 (mostly. red bull's fallen angels. they get stress fractures.)

i've laid out what class years everyone was in based on what year they started in f1 and also a little bit their actual age. for like . better understanding of dynamics. the one year they have a Large recruitment class (it's actually quite a bit smaller than my year was now that im looking at it. but it feels long written out lol) that's lando, george, alex, charles, pierre, lance, esteban, max, and carlos.

lewis seb and nico were a class year. under them is checo daniel and nico hulkenberg lol. valtteri and kmags are their own year under them (theyre neuro majors together). then it's the mega class. and then it's like liam oscar logan yuki zhou etc.

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2013: Round 2 - Malaysia

Happy Multi-21 Day to all who celebrate!!

Fun fact about me, I’ve never watched Malaysia 2013 in full. Until today. 

For all the newbies who started following me over the winter break, my abridged F1 story is that I grew up watching F1 with my Dad, then stopped when he passed away in 2007, then started watch it again mid-way through 2013 thanks to one of my high school friends. The first race I watched after my hiatus was Spain, then due to the BBC rights deal where they only had half the races live, the next race I saw after that was Canada. Which Seb won, and I felt bad that people were booing him, so I decided to start supporting him as a result.

I was filled in on the whole Multi-21 drama later, and have since seen the highlight reel in my 2013 season review DVD. But in honour of the race’s tenth anniversary, I’m watching the race in full. So, this may or may not be agonising (live blog under a read more to avoid clogging up your dashes!)

Worth adding, I’m not going to discuss in detail who was right or wrong or whatever, this is simply a record of me watching the Great Red Bull Civil War of March 2013. (with snacks to stress eat obvs)

This liveblog is once again brought to you by F1 TV Access, truly one of the best purchases I’ve made all year.

Anyway I’ve put my big girl trousers on and pressed play and THE OLD F1 INTRO I MISS YOU SO. Proper core memory right there.

Also also Sepang is a banging circuit and I miss her :(

It rained half an hour before the race???? oh jeez

Seb on pole, about to go and commit crimes

AHHHH JENSON!!!!

also remember when Checo drove for McLaren??? wild times.

I do really want to re-watch the 2013 season in full since there’s races from the first half of the season I missed, but that’s for a later day today is dedicated to the drama

Helmet watch: Seb’s blue chrome helmet is super pretty

[Formation Lap]: Everyone on inters bc of the aforementioned rain. Malaysia 2013 really was going for the That Bitch title of 2013.

ayyyy Toto sighting

“This should be a cracking motor race” Oh Brundle, if only you knew what was about to unfold

[Start/Lap 1]: Seb keeps P1, Mark into P2 bc Fernando got a little too frisky

oh rip Fernando’s front wing

Jenson into P5. Yeah that feels good.

Fernando re-took P2, I don’t think he knows half his front wing his hanging off.

[Lap 2]: Oop there she breaks.

Ah, not telling your driver they have a broken front wing. Just Ferrari things.

[Lap 3]: Did not notice Lewis getting up into P3 as a result of Fernando’s DNF.

Meanwhile Rosberg and Jenson are having a little fistfight. Nico won P4.

The supposedly fun part of watching this race for the first time is that I know exactly what happens between Seb and Mark, I just have no idea when. It’s like jaws and a jack in the box combined.

oh man I do not miss the old graphics of having the grid on the bottom of the screen, and waiting for your driver to come back up and hoping they were in the same place

[Lap 5]: ROCKY!!!!!!

Rocky team radio, feels good feels organic. (Don’t make me pick a favourite Seb engineer I love them all equally)

oh Kimi’s gone rallying on the apex of one of the corners.

[Lap 6]: Seb pits for mediums! First onto the dry tyres

oh jeez he just lost three places between corners bc of how slippery the track still is

[Lap 7]: RBR: Mark stay out it’s too wet in sector 1!! Meanwhile 5 or 6 cars come into the pits for slicks

Seb up into P7, which becomes P6 as Lewis pits.

dfaeguighush Lewis drove into the McLaren pit box 🤣

I lowkey love it when drivers do that

“Felipe Massa is now the fastest man on track” 2010s F1 intensifies 

Live Nicole Scherzinger reaction to Lewis’ pitstop

[Lap 8]: Hiiiiii Bono!!!

Gotta take all the nice crumbs before the race turns round and stabs me

[Lap 10]: oh wow James Vowels was already head of Merc strategy at this point.

[Lap 11]: ANYWAY, after the pitstop shuffle Mark is in P1 on hards, Seb in P2 on Mediums. I’m anxious.

The race has calmed down now it’s dry but I am not calm as I’m now waiting for the jump scare to happen.

[Lap 12]: Meanwhile Lewis is a second faster a lap than Webber. Drama.

Rosberg sets the fastest lap, while munching on popcorn probably.

“They’re telling Webber he will not be challenged from behind by Sebastian” Oh. Oh no. It’s coming.

It’s only Lap 14

*chuckles* I’m in danger

[Lap 15]: Rosberg continuing to set fastest laps. Mostly unbothered.

Mark is 2.2 secs ahead of Seb who’s 2.1 ahead of Lewis.

I’ve also finished my snacks.

[Lap 16]: And Kimi gets past Perez for P9.

Aaaand a Romain Grosjean fastest lap.

[Lap 17]: Still all quiet on the Red Bull front. I’m still anxious.

I’m pretty sure there’s one maybe two more rounds of pit stops to go

Seb’s now 2.5 seconds behind Mark and 2.7 ahead of Lewis.

[Lap 18]: Livery watch: as much as I’m a black Merc apologist, I miss the silver livery with Petronas green sidepods, it’s soooo pretty

Back in the good old days when team could actually have full liveries and there wasn’t all the exposed carbon nonsense we have now :)

[Lap 19]: “Paul needs to establish himself” Don’t worry Brundle he’ll be your colleague at Sky in a few years

[Lap 20]: And Mark pits for mediums.

Imagine telling an F1 fan in 2023 that Mark only did 11 laps on a set of hards at a race in 2013, there certainly is something to be said for Pirelli I’m just not sure what.

[Lap 22]: And Lewis makes his second stop for more mediums. He drove into the proper pit box.

[Lap 23]: Seb pits for hards! He stays in P2.

Still no signs of violence yet.

Meanwhile Jenson is still in P5!!!

“They [McLaren] can see bright skies on the horizon, and challenge Ferrari in China” yeah lol that didn’t happen. 

[Lap 24]: “3 second gap, save your tyres” Seb is two seconds behind Mark dfvdsvsgig

[Lap 25]: “If he’s saving his tyres he’s producing a muck quicker lap time with it” Seb’s barely a second behind Mark at this point I’M VERY ANXIOUS

[Lap 26]: The gap between the RBRs is 6 tenths of a second. Mum please pick me up I’m scared.

Meanwhile Lewis is just over a second behind Seb.

Rocky telling Seb to save his tyres, I don’t think he’s listening.

1.8 seconds covering the top 3 cars. oh boy.

[Lap 27]: Seb still 6 tenths behind Mark. *distressed yelling*

If there’s a big gap between laps it’s because I have my hands over my face in distress.

[Lap 28]: Jenson still in P5!!!

“Mark is too slow, get him out of the way” oop there’s Bastard Seb.

Gap now up to 1.4 seconds.

*half race distance klaxon*

Jenson in P5 while all of this is unfolding, an unbothered King.

[Lap 31]: Lewis makes his third and I’m guessing final stop for Mediums

“Look at Nico Rosberg” Must I?

[Lap 32]: Mark now in for his final stop for hards

JENSON IN P2 STOP THE RACE!!!

“The biscuit barrel is not just full of custard creams” Crofty???? That was meant to be an analogy about teams doing different strategies but I really don’t know man.

[Lap 33]: Seb pits for hards. And he’s in P4 behind Lewis now and barely in front of Rosberg.

JENSON’S LEADING!!! STOP! THE! RACE!

[Lap 34]: Lewis already being told to lift and coast to save fuel. oop.

“Button leads” INJECT IT!!!!!

Malaysia 2013 giveth and Malaysian 2013 about to taketh away.

[Lap 35]: And Mark gets past Jenson into turn 2

Hulkenberg and Kimi racing each other coming out of the pitlane svheghaeugh

And Jenson pits. It was very fun while it lasted.

NOOOOOO unsafe release his tyres aren’t properly on 😭

[Lap 36]: Oh yeah Ross Brawn was Merc TP in 2013, I always forget that. Toto joined Merc as his deputy I think before taking over in 2014.

[Lap 38]: “Sebastian Vettel the meat in the Mercedes sandwich” fic writers start taking notes

 Meanwhile Hulkenberg and Kimi are still fist fighting over 8th and 9th

[Lap 39]: Seb up into P2.

[Lap 40]: “Sebastian Vettel has just reduced the advantage Mark Webber has by 8 tenths” There’s jaws music playing my head now fwiw.

Niki sighting ❤️

[Lap 41]: Now Rosberg is closing up to Lewis for a double serving of teammate on teammate violence

[Lap 42]: Oh Lewis pits again, that’s a fourth stop

Man if a driver has a four stop race in 2023 they’ve had a shit show but it seems perfectly normal aeogvaheoh

Meanwhile Seb is still catching Mark

[Lap 43]: And Seb also pits again for Medums, as does Rosberg. Seb stays P2 and Rosberg stays P4.

Livery watch: the glossy soft metallic blue with the purple accents is the superior RBR livery change my mind.

[Lap 44]: And Mark pits for hards.

And he barely came out the pits in front of Seb.

ahhhhhhhhh I think we’re in violence territory.

HELP

[Lap 45]: The gap between them is about half a second dvbaheuhs

(For anyone wanting to watch the race back for whatever reasons, the Civil War starts at around 1hr 26mins)

Presidential alert THE MERCS ARE FIGHTIIIIIIIING

and cut to mildly distressed Merc mechanics

Love that the internal Merc drama was completely overshadowed by Seb and Mark, truly no one was doing it like them

[Lap 46]: AH SHIT SEB AND MARK ARE WHEEL TO WHEEL

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Seb into P1. idk if there’s actually been the Multi 21 call yet. bc comms aren’t calling for Seb’s head as of yet.

Man that replay is yeah... violence

[Lap 47]: oop yellow flag, fits the mood perfectly.

Oh it was for Maldonado.

Live Adrian Newey Reaction.

and Live Ross Brawn reaction to the Merc on Merc violence.

[Lap 48]: Wait this race was on Ted’s birthday??? HBD TED!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

[Lap 49]: Still no Multi-21 name drop... was this something that came out after the race??? bc I’m sure there’s an actual Multi-21 radio message.

“Pastor Maldonado with an attack of the gravel rash” Thanks Crofty.

[Lap 50]: Massa passes Kimi for 6th

Yeah Seb’s 4 secs ahead of Mark now so surely that’s it????

so where’s the drama???

I can’t have zoned out bc comms would have yelled if Seb got past

[Lap 51]: Oh Rosberg asked to get past Lewis and Ross Brawn straight up said no. oof.

[Lap 52]: Yeah comms are dissecting the Merc drama but not Seb and Mark so I think they didn’t hear the Multi-21 radio call aeughaeuhg

Oh I wish that were me

[Lap 54]: Man Nico and Lewis are still nose to tail it’s like the precursor to 2014-16

Was there something in the water at Malaysia or did the racing gods just wake up and choose violence

Ted sounds so sad about Jenson’s mechanical DNF, a whole mood

[Lap 55]: Seb a whole six and a bit seconds ahead of Webber.

Perez pits????

Oh he had a 30 second gap to P10 nvm

Rosberg is still around half a second behind Lewis. Britney be bitching.

[Lap 56]: Will Lewis have the fuel to finish the race though???

[Finish]: SEB WINS. IT’S OVER.

Lewis P3, Rosberg P4. Cut to some eerily silent RBR and Merc pitwalls.

I don’t think Crofty knows about the Multi-21 message he hasn’t said anything about it.

😳

Did I zone out and miss it?????

Yeah Crofty thinks RBR are mad because Mark and Seb nearly took each other out not bc of the Multi-21 call OH BOY

Oop here’s the cool down room.

Bastard Seb is hot. sorry not sorry.

dbshbuhgru Seb and Adrian just chatting tyres. Still no Mark yet.

I’m watching this with very nervous laughter.

“Multi-21 Seb, Multi-21″ OOP THERE IT IS.

There’s so much tension in the cool down room it has its own gravitational pull.

ah the German anthem my beloved. 

The Austrian anthem my belothed. 

There is not a single smiling driver on that podium this is so awkward aevheugh

Okay there’s one (1) thrilled Merc mechanic, good for him!

“But was he [Seb] told to hold station?” Yeah they didn’t play the Multi-21 radio during the race.

God this is the most awkward champagne spray I’ve ever seen.

The drivers left the podium aeiihgaeghs

Oh they’re back.

Mark flung away his podium cap into the crowd jeeeeez

Tag yourself I’m Brundle trying to fill the conversation with fluff bc he can pick up the awkward tension a mile off

“It was very close wheel to wheel racing” YOU DON’T SAY SEB

Mark meanwhile looks seething. 

“So you were surprised when he came passed you” YOU’RE TELLING ME BRUNDLE DIDN’T KNOW UNTIL THE PODIUM INTERVIEW ABOUT THE MULTI-21 CALL????????

Welcome to F1 the drama never stops.

Live Nicole Scherzinger reaction 2

Lewis saying nice things about Nico. That feels weird post-2016.

Well. That happened. ngl it felt less stressful knowing that they seemingly didn’t play the Multi-21 radio call on the global feed. Honestly the actual race itself was pretty dull until the RBR/Merc infighting.

Still I’m going to got for a lie down now.

[alister312]

Hello! I’m Alister and below the cut you can find my about me/intro post for the SP Olympics event :)

For starters, my favorite ship is of course Gregstophe aka Gregory/Christophe from the movie. I’ve got various metas and fics about them if you’re looking for characterization inspiration (or scenes for drawing inspiration 👀 my gregstophe tsot fic is my current passion project). You can find all the important stuff in my pinned post. I love them both individually as well, though I do slightly favor Christophe 😅. I’ve also got more ships with him that I enjoy, namely Damstophe (Damien/Christophe), Kenstophe (Kenny/Christophe), and Tophlovski (Christophe/Kyle)

My second favorite ship is by far Style! I love most anything with them, but particularly fond of their Stick of Truth sonas. I’m just very drawn to the concept of regal elf king Kyle in love with his noble and faithful human knight Stan (who is definitely in love with him too)… it’s a very good concept to me. I also really like very regular AUs with them, just like high school or college or domestic stuff. The one thing I will say is that I’m not really a fan of the bleached hair Stan design but otherwise go nuts!

I have a fun AU I adore that I tag as “Kendy vs the World” but usually just call it my “kendy scott pilgrim au”. As you can probably guess, it’s a Scott Pilgrim AU with Kenny as the titular Scott Pilgrim and Wendy as Ramona Flowers. Other roles include Marjorine as Knives, Henrietta, Thomas, and Clyde as Kim, Stephan, and Young Neil respectively, Kyle as Envy Adams, and Christophe as Wallace Wells. Wendy’s (Ramona’s) exes are Tolkien (Matthew Patel), Gregory (Lucas Lee), Stan (Todd Ingram), Bebe (Roxy Richter), Kevin McCormick and Kevin Stoley (Ken and Kyle Katayanagi), and lastly Cartman (Gideon Graves). It’s mostly based off the movie because I’ve seen that and I’ve only read a few of the graphic novels.

I have a few children of ships I ship that you can find if you search the tag “sp next gen” on my blog! You’re welcome to ask me more about them if you like (I have a google doc of lore) but honestly just seeing those scamps doing whatever (either with each other or their parents) would make my day 🥰

Favorite characters (besides any in previous mentioned ships I like) are Damien, Kenny, Red, Bebe, and Craig. For Craig in particular I really like Youth Pastor Craig… I’m a sucker for religious imagery! Him with Imp Tweek or Angel Kenny makes me feral every time.

I’ve got a lot of rather rarepairs that I love and always love to see! You can ask for others if you’d like but off the top of my head I think my favorites are Dyde (Damien/Clyde), Rola (Red/Lola), and Lanskov (Corey Lanskin/Davey Solokov). They may not make much sense to you but I like them lots :3

If you’re still not sure what exactly I’d be into or wanna hear more headcanons/preferences of mine, I am absolutely open to chatting or being sent anons! I love talking about pretty much anything ever

In the end, I’ll probably be happy if people do anything for me at all, so don’t stress too hard about it! I’m very excited to participate in this cool event 😎

[english102-blog-samc]

Intro Pt. II: Personal Experience

Being able to bury my face in the stories these books told became a safeguard for me, and it became a way for me to clear my head when my young brain couldn’t handle the stress I was feeling. My experience with graphic novels (or comic books) is very personal. The connection I had with one of my very first rooted much deeper than just being excited to read the words on the page and examine the enthralling artwork. The story of how I got the book comes at a time in my life when I was much younger and in love with everything having to do with Spider-Man. My grandma was well aware of that, so she decided to surprise me with a collection of 15 different Spider-Man stories inside one book. Being the easily entertained little boy that I was, there were few other things that would have made me so happy. After we bought the book we drove home to a warm dinner that my Grandpa had prepared. This only added to the experience. In this instance, I was given an unforgettable memory. Knowing the effects it had on my life and knowing of so many diverse stories that are available to read, I think considering this genre as literature is a very important determination to make. 

[therandomavenger]

New Beginnings

               This is a big week for me. On Tuesday, the Spring Semester starts, and I will find myself a full-time student again for the first time in 13 years. This will not be my first experience as a ‘non-traditional’ student. In 2009, at the age of thirty-six, I went back to school to get a CIS degree. But that was while I was raising young children full time and trying to materially and emotionally support a spouse with a full-time teaching career. It was a lot. But I did well, even if I ran out of steam and fell about three credits shy of getting my AA.

               I think this experience will be different. I don’t have kids at home anymore, and my current partner is also a student, so we will be able to support each other. We’re even taking an ASL class together. No, this should be a completely different experience, though I know it won’t be stress-free. Also, I’m no longer singularly responsible for planning and cooking all our meals, and doing all the housework, the way I was before. My current partnership is much more equal than my last one was.

               I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous, though. I’m older than I was, even if I’m just as healthy, I think. In the intervening years, I’ve done a deep dive into how my brain works, and I know how to be productive. Over the past couple of years, I’ve been getting a lot of stuff done, both housework and writing and reading and other stuff. So, I know I can do it. It’s going to be an adjustment, however, having someone else’s external schedule imposed over mine. I’m going to have to get up on time every day (which means breaking my addiction to the snooze alarm, which is already in progress). I’m taking sixteen units, which is kind of a lot. Only one of those classes is online.

               The subject matter is different from anything I’ve ever studied before. I’m going back to earn a certificate in Digital Art and Design, so I’ll be in a lot of Art classes. Starting with line drawing and beginning design, as well as intro to digital art. That’s just this semester. Halfway through, I’ll be adding an Adobe Suite online tutorial class. I’m hoping this will give me a new set of skills that I can use to support my writing career. But this is an entirely new area for me.

               I spent most of my teenage years obsessively drawing, and I loved doing it, even if the art I produced was terrible. I knew nothing about anatomy, or design principles. S put some nice pictures together but had no hope of making most of my projects match the image I had in my head. Through all those years, I never took an art class. So, getting back to this now, at 51, feels like a return to an old vision of myself that was never quite able to develop. Will I be any better with formal training? I’d almost have to be.

               Future classes will take me further into design skills, including graphic design, as well as digital photography, animation, and web design. I’m excited to learn about all of it. My goal is to be able to gain proficiency at formatting my own books and designing my own book covers, and maybe, if I get good enough, earning some extra money by doing that for other people.

               But even as I add this new challenge, I’m not abandoning my writing goals. I still plan to produce 30,000 words a month. I have been on my new writing schedule for the last two weeks, just to make sure it’s realistic. 2-4 on Wednesday and Fridays, 11-2 on Saturdays. I need to produce 7500 words in those three days, and I’ve met or exceeded that in the first two weeks. So, I know this is doable. I also need to work in time for editing and other publishing-related tasks. I want to release three books this year.

               I think it’s important, as we get older, not to settle into old patterns, but to stretch and grow and learn new things, and expand into new areas. It keeps you young, and studies show it can actually extend your life and help stave off dementia. I’m definitely doing that.

               Am I afraid I might suck at this? Absolutely! But really, if I try this, and fail, then I really haven’t lost much. I lose more by never trying, and always wondering if I could have been successful.

               So, this week is a new beginning. I’m really looking forward to it. I feel like I am at the cusp of an entire new life, and I welcome its unfolding.

[palaces-in-every-paragraph]

Candy Hearts Letter 2024

Dear Creator,

Thank you SO MUCH for writing for me. I know I’m going to love whatever you come up with! I truly appreciate  the time and effort you are going to put into this. PLEASE do not stress over it; I am really very easy to please and just looking forward to seeing what you come up with. I’ve jotted down some basic prompts here, follow them or don’t--the choice is yours! 

Competency is absolutely my greatest kink. I also have a decent-sized hair kink and love hair-touching/stroking/brushing, etc, as well as any kind of safe touch. I like friendship in love, equal partnerships, ass-kicking females, friends to lovers, grudging respect that becomes not so grudging, fluff and cuteness, light angst, caretaking, cuddling and tender kissing, blanket/bed-sharing in a totally platonic way, all the non-sexual intimacy and tenderness, late-night talks, letters. Tenderly-described safe touch makes me squee. I don’t mind sex so long as it’s consensual between adults, well-written, driven by emotions, and true to character. My favorite AUs are coffee shop and library. 

General Likes: Fluff, angst with a happy or happy-for-now ending, humor, hurt/comfort with comfort emphasis, team bonding, mission fic, casefic, slice of life, missions gone bad, bad missions gone good in unexpected ways. Snowed in, locked in a closet, days off that turn into work days due to unforeseen circumstances, Undercover as a couple, enemies to friends to more, fake dating with sparks flying.

I adore setting detail and good descriptive writing. Fall is absolutely my favorite season--so perfect for walks, crisp air, toasted marshmallows, apple orchard trips, cider and donuts, colorful leaves that crunch underfoot, hay rides, warm drinks, cozy sweaters, knitting, lazy weekends, bonfires (or fires in fireplaces) new pens and notebooks, etc. I also love holidays and celebrations--all of them equally, so whatever feels natural to you and the characters is great. Cultural descriptions and events are fabulous, as well as setting, time period, and seasonal details.

DNW

-D/s relationships

-PWP 

-A/B/O dynamics (I don’t understand how these work) 

-dark/dystopian or supernatural AUs

-kidfic

-rape/non- or dub-con

-underage

-graphic violence

-suicide or self-harm 

-depression, 

-non-canonical character death

Mary Russell Series - Russell & Holmes

The first book in this series is my favorite, so I’d love a pre-marriage casefic. How soon after Holmes met Russell did he know he was dealing with not just a teenager, but a teenager who is in every way his intellectual equal? How much did he miss her when she went away to school? We see one time where Holmes shows up on Russell’s doorstep while she’s at Oxford, but were there others? Did he ever give her a test that involved chasing him from bolt-hole to bolt-hole in London, changing disguises as they went? How much did Mrs. Hudson know of what they got up to, and did she simply shake her head at the strangeness? Did she do anything to temper the way Holmes treated this young woman whom he was suddenly keeping as a pet and protegee? 

Hawkeye (TV) - Clint, Kate, Laura, Yelena

Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye run was my intro to comics and since I started, I haven’t looked back. I also thought that the Hawkeye TV show was damn near perfect. I love Clint and Kate together and how even though they are both completely badass, they always seem to be kind of making things up as they go along and can’t believe this is actually their life, for good or for bad. I imagine that there are not many people whom Kate would allow to be a mentor or teacher or even a father figure and I love Clint in that role, even as often as he rolls his eyes and wonders why and how this is life. I love their chemistry together and the banter, but I’m definitely more friendshippy than shippy about them. If you’re romantic about them, that’s fine, but either include Laura or or pretend she doesn’t exist at all–no cheating, please. 

Speaking of banter, I need the banter of Kate/Yelena like I need air to breathe. I would love something where they are grudgingly forced to work together and somehow it becomes more. I love their badassery and would love to see more of them together. Give me mission/casefic, unwinding and debriefing after a mission, Kate and Yelena babysitting the Barton kids, Clint helping Kate get ready for a date (or feeding Yelena intel about how to woo Kate), Kate making sure that Clint remembers his wife and kids on Valentine’s Day, or really anything with loads of banter.

Lockwood & Co - Lucy, George, Lockwood

I could go on for pages about how sad I am that this show got cancelled. I loved the books and I thought the adaptation was pretty close to perfect. Give me all the casefic with all three of these characters and be as shippy as you want with Lockwood and Lucy. Is there a ghost that’s wreaking havoc on couples who meet through a dating site or app? A Lockwood/Lucy date that gets interrupted by something supernatural? If you include George, please let him be a badass, too.

Thanks so much again, and happy writing!

[lifeofabme]

How to: Complete a master's thesis related to AI in healthcare

Step 1 Develop your research questions and choose an appropriate supervisor

The first main decision you have to make after you decide to pursue a thesis is to choose a supportive supervisor; this person is going to fight your battles on the admin-level as there are a few icky spots in the evaluation phase which can lead to undue stress i.e., defence, mid-year evaluation, final evaluation etc. Hence, make sure you choose someone who has sway i.e., dean or head or chairman of the department. Next, select a specific problem area from whatever topic interests you most, for me it was using machine learning to find the direction and magnitude of cardiac forces that express as the ST-segment on an ECG signal. One way to select your research question/s is by looking at WHAT THE CURRENT LITERATURE LACKS.

Step 2 Review recent available literature and modify your research question/s accordingly

Lit rev is a dynamic process, you must keep up to date with new developments in your research area so you are well-informed during any evaluation. You may take help from this lit rev and modify it and make it unique to answer your research questions.

Step 3 Prepare to defend your thesis topic and write your research proposal

As I mentioned above, one of your weapons for a good defence is a having an influential supervisor. Next, you must make sure YOU KNOW THE GAPS in your research because these are usually targeted by the examiners. Make sure to keep your research as specific as possible which, in turn, makes it novel and derails any questions unrelated to your research.

Step 4 Collect and preprocess data

This is more of a technical step. Make sure to sign the right MoUs and devote maximum amount of time to data collection and preprocessing. You will have to record high fidelity data to avoid unnecessary preprocessing before using it as input to your algorithm. Make note of the recording equipment, sensors etc., used. Preprocessing for the vector-electrocardiography signals included averaging, cross-correlation, correction of baseline shift, moving average etc.

Step 5 Choose your programming language

My preferable programming applications MATLAB, r-studio and python. However, python has some very inept libraries for ML as well as deep learning and neural networks i.e., scikit learn, tensor flow, keras etc.

Step 6 Develop an algorithm

If you have chosen python and machine learning, then making an algorithm can't get easier. The structure you should follow would start with introducing relevant libraries, reading data, preprocessing using sk-learn i.e., making the data numerical if there are any categorical variables, defining evaluation metrics and displaying results as confusion matrix and AUC graphs etc. One of the steps that can help you in reading and understand your data is the exploratory data analysis (EDA); python has libraries to this for you i.e. sweetviz, dtale etc., and they can identify types of variables, correlation bw variables, skewness of your data etc., which you can use to select the appropriate algorithm for your application.

Step 7 Evaluate your algorithm

Sensitivity, specificity and accuracy are the 3 main performance metrics that are understood by healthcare professionals.

Step 8 Write your report

Usually, there are 2 reports that you have to submit; one is the progress report and the other is your final report. Reports must be very concise i.e., intro, research questions, methodology, results, discussion, supported with images related to your recording equipment and graphical results etc. You will need a referencing software like Mendeley or Endnote and MS word or LaTeX.

[getthebutters]

Honesty and Hardwork: A 6-figure CEO’s perspective & journey

Intro

Most people who tell you about their journey to success are selling their story. I sell Butters and write blog to help people. This will be a more honest journey than you’ve probably ever experienced.

I got here by luck, struggle, and meeting the challenges as they come. Straight up. I was born with almost every non-voluntary life drawback you can have. The fatherless childhood, blackness, autism, gayness have remained, but the poor has been successfully mitigated. I’ve also had a ton of benefits like the generational wealth of stability, educators stressing the fundamentals, a strong family support system, and a parent who would pay any part of her meager salary to make sure I was set up for success.

Sure, I’ve known my whole life I would be successful, that was nothing more than a general understanding that I should be able to figure out how the world works and work it. Doing alright so far.

 The Dreams

With all my needs met, my desire is to make a difference in people’s life positively. In high school, I planned to become a sex educator with dreams of setting up a nationwide sexed requirement for grade school kids. I became a sex educator who makes lube and helps people make sense of the world, me included. My dreams are not forgotten but expanded to include my own men’s domestic violence shelter.

See, I realize my ingenuity, creativity, practicality, and reliability will end up funding the societal shifts I want. Those are rare skills today where we’re encouraged to follow only emotion, which will easily lead you astray like a child or wild animal, which has happened to me several times.

 The plans and actions

After high school, I had my plan and would go to Eastern Michigan University to study psych. But midway through the summer of 2005 I saw a commercial for Le Cordon Bleu culinary school and made the choice to get a skill I could use to pay for school and in case I chose wrong. Although it was smart and did workout, on some level I was delaying my launch into adulthood.

Thankfully this was only a 2-year diversion. I got licensed in culinary and hated it. I realized cooking with my granny and for my family was enough of that. If you really think about, how in demand are pastry chefs anyway really? Plus, I didn’t think through being 400# and working on my feet around my heroin.

I went back to school for psych at EMU since there was no sex ed major or anything close. I had to make my own minor via literally every class with sex in the title EMU offered between 2008 and 2014. Somewhere in there they did make an official human sexuality minor for me and the maybe 20 others who’d chosen a similar tract.

In college, I used Pell Grant & FAFSA money responsibly to fund my first 4 years of school fully without needing to work. Having worked at Walmart while in culinary school in Scottsdale, AZ, I now knew the value of a dollar and wouldn’t go back to work until I had to. Eventually, I did anyway when I got the opportunity to work for EMU’s school paper. I always wanted to be a journalist but them mofos is broke and I wasn’t tryna be, to the best of my ability.

In my first year of college, I had my first business venture as an adult: LTASEX.com, an adult sex ed blog. I’d always hustled a little bit; knew some basics this was intended to be a success and it was. It was never a BuzzFeed level steez, but I made part time money talking about dildoes and shit. That was pretty cool.

When that government money ran out, I got a second job on the phones at U of Michigan for $14/hr. I didn’t mention the EMU paper’s pay because it was less than the blog made but it was something extra and I loved the work/skills I gained there. You’re reading this and enjoying the graphics because of what I was paid to learn there. I’d never done anything more than clip art design before I got there. Now I could literally be a professional graphic designer if The Butters went belly up tomorrow.

College ends in 2014, kept my responsibilities light enough to drop but solid enough that I could live that way until I died or figured out my next move. I could feel the blog wave dying and spent a lot of time spiraling. Eventually I was psych medicated thanks to Obamacare and my brain started functioning somewhere near normal. I lost close to 200#. LTASEX is a real working org with people under me though income is light. I get into a relationship.

GRABBING AT OPPURTUNITIES

Normally that last part wouldn’t matter but being broke, culinary minded and a sex educator, I decided to finally make my own lube after years of complaining about the options available from major brands. That became The Butters. I used my sex ed connects to make a name for myself. Got in every blog I could think of, and people started buying.

Since I was in a relationship, we had 2 incomes which allowed me to perform badly enough at work (slacking and working on Butters) to be fired and really give it a go. Things go well - making very slow but important sales increases for a solo-run business. Before I know it, I’m at 50k in sales and living very well of that money alone.

Then a bit of luck hits in the form of a once-in-a-century worldwide pandemic that killed millions of people and sent the economy into a freefall so steep it’ll get its own name in the history books. That of course is dark humor to highlight the rarity of such a devastating event and the fact that I was able to make that event into a launching point for myself. It started with selling aloe for sanitizer by the gallon. Then stimulus money let people try Butters and get hooked.

We peaked in sales around this time, and it help establish us as a real functioning company now with me receiving about 100k net. Putting me in the top 14% of black male earners and top 6% overall. Income literally beyond my dreams. Not my wildest dreams but they were pretty outta pocket considering where I come from. Then comes the downturn.

Luckily for us, I only added as many people as we needed. I made plans but didn’t put money into them or sign anything major. I did over produce some products but that’s nothing clearance, gifts, and donations can’t fix. Things have leveled off and here we are. Unless we have some major downturn, I’m safe. In fact, I’m back on the growth curve.

FAQs

No, I didn’t know this venture would work. This was a risk. This was a vulnerability beyond anything I’d experienced. I took it slow and never invested anything more than I could bare to lose, even when it was just like $40. I would buy single ingredients on eBay for weeks to get my first couple batches.

Yes, I did have to learn how to be a CEO. I had signs up reminding me of CEO duties so I could make sure I was doing my job vs being just a worker. I’m still learning. I’ll be back in college for marketing and other skills that will make me a more valuable leader and the business more resilient.

I am not great at everything, but I know how to do everything. I’ve built a team around me who is better at their specific skills. I pay them well ($20/hr.) and treat them with respect. It took time and help to identify the type of people I needed and how to coach them. I had to learn these management skills just like being a CEO.  

I still work daily. I still fill jars and make products. I’m a heavily involved leader, which makes us unique in a world of bosses too good to get dirty. I’ll never be. I’ll do anything to keep this thing functioning – move heaven and earth. If I’m 60 and need to answer phones or ship product or drive across the country, my old ass will be here.