#those decisions are entirely from whatever is going on in the creators mind lol

[ink-the-artist]

Dude some of those popular so-bad-its-good movies are unironically outsider art and I don’t think they get enough appreciation for that

[elizmanderson]

Hi again. You made a few posts about first drafts being ridiculous and cleaning them up later. And I desperately need more writers talking about the writing process as they are writing it (like 'making of' posts/ videos, any creator who does those gets me obsessed with them)

Anywho, I was wondering how your revision process looks? How different is your first draft from your last and how did you make the decisions of what to cut vs what to expand on?

I know for myself, my MC is a constant-overthinker and all of faer POV is stream-of-consciousness, and fae goes on a LOT of unnecessary but characterizing tangents that I don't know how to work with, given the corner I wrote myself into.

TLDR - Any info about your revision process would be much appreciated.

Thanks :)

hello and thanks for asking!

first of all, in case anyone is curious about the original post, it's here. also, there are many ridiculous things in this draft of NettieWIP, but that post was brought to you specifically by this line that I wrote even though it's completely tonally wrong for both this book and this character lmao

okay, revisions. this is gonna get long, but I'm breaking it up into sections that will hopefully be helpful.

general process

so the first thing is, my revision process and how much I cut or add is different for every project. but here are some general principles I follow. keep in mind that ymmv with any and all of these! you have to find what works for you. this is just what works for me.

1. finish the draft first

I will never finish a draft if I'm focused on editing while I go. I've been hardcore resisting with NettieWIP because I keep having ideas about how to make it better mid-draft. but I know if I don't finish the draft as-is, it's not going to get done.

2. let it breathe before diving in

sometimes I have the urge to rush right into revisions after finishing a draft, but I do force myself to wait at least a month or two before returning to it. it gives me the emotional distance I need to be able to make decisions about what to cut, no matter how much I like things that don't serve the story.

(again going to have to fight this urge hard with NettieWIP in particular lol)

3. read it before diving in

the one thing that stays consistent from project to project is that I always do a full readthrough before I start revising. highly, highly recommend this regardless of what else works for you! reading through my entire manuscript gives me a big-picture view of the whole story and how all the parts work together (or not), as well as what the problems are.

note: when I do my readthrough, while I do make general notes of my thoughts, I do NOT focus on line-level details or edits. which brings us to...

4. fix big things first

okay jk actually this stays consistent from project to project, too. when approaching revisions, I always start with the biggest changes and work my way down. line edits are the last thing I do, because I figure it wastes my time and energy otherwise. what if I put all this energy into line edits or scene-level changes only to cut half those lines or scenes later when I make structural changes?

5. this is the time to plan!

I'm a plantser, which is somewhere halfway between a plotter and a pantser. while the amount of planning I do before a first draft varies, I always dedicate time to planning before revising. the exact process varies, but it's kinda like this.

read the entire manuscript, making note of plot holes and problem areas

brainstorm potential fixes and where they might fit in

write an outline, synopsis, chapter map, whatever (for me it's usually either a synopsis or chapter map because I simply cannot with outlines)

6. start rewriting

...and as discussed in a different post earlier, I always start the new draft in a new document! you never know when something from an earlier draft could come in handy.

7. use beta readers

I typically do a second draft on my own, because I typically have at least some idea of what needs fixing when I'm done with a first draft. I bring beta readers in once I hit the point where the story's cohesive but I know more work needs to be done, but I'm not sure what that work is.

you specifically asked how I decide what to cut vs. what to expand on, and beta readers are one important way—especially for what to expand on. while I have a habit of overexplaining in many areas, things in my head frequently fail to make it onto the page.

(I think this is because things are obvious to me bc I thought them up. but readers cannot see inside my head, so they may be confused or think a character or plot point is underdeveloped even though I have a lot more information about it mapped out internally.)

if readers feel like information is unnecessary or overexplained or like I'm patronizing them, that's a potential area for cutting. if readers are confused, lack insight, or feel like a reveal came out of nowhere, that's a potential area for expanding. that said...

parsing beta feedback

while outside feedback is important, it's at least equally important to be able to decide what feedback to listen to and what feedback to ignore! not all feedback is good feedback. and even feedback that's technically good may not be good feedback for your story.

for example, I had feedback on the manuscript that's now on sub that was drastically different than the rest of the feedback I received on that same manuscript. I love the beta who gave it to me and I respect their opinion a lot, so I took this feedback seriously. but I couldn't make it work, felt deeply frustrated, and spiraled a bit over my ability to write a book even though it was far from my first.

then I got into Author Mentor Match which I applied to mostly because I need some guidance re: this feedback. my mentor basically said, "I think this is good feedback, but I think it would change this book into a pacier, more action-packed book. and I don't think that's the kind of story you're trying to tell."

and my mentor was right! I think this friend and I are simply interested in different kinds of stories. so as much as they love my stories and as great as they are at giving feedback, their feedback may not be a good fit for me.

usually, I like to look at patterns of feedback.* the more readers agree that a plot point is weak or a reveal doesn't have enough build-up, the more likely it is that I really do need to worry about that.

BUT if a single reader's feedback makes me go oh and I really vibe with it, that's also good feedback to listen to! as long as you know what the heart of your story is, you can follow feedback that helps your story do more of what you want it to do and do it more effectively.

*in my experience, patterns are most helpful when your readers share aspects of your identity. for example, I'm neurodivergent and queer. when most of my readers were neurotypical and straight, I'd get told "this doesn't make sense" "no one thinks/feels like that" "this is unrealistic." and I'd be told that by multiple readers, so I'd decide that meant I had to change the story, even though something deep down told me I was wrong about that, that my betas were wrong about that.

now, most of my readers are neurodivergent and/or queer, so they understand when my characters do or think or feel certain things. and at the very least, they never tell me a character is being "unrealistic" or assume that characters' feelings aren't based on things I have really felt. so particularly for marginalized creators, patterns of feedback may NOT be helpful if your readers do not share your marginalization.

examples of changes to my drafts

cutting and combining

The Remarkable Retirement of Edna Fisher was drafted over a year and a half as part of a last man standing-style writing challenge, so the first draft was 160,000 words. it was pretty obvious I'd have to cut SOMETHING, since I was planning on querying agents.

(recommended for adult fantasy if you're seeking trad pub as a debut author: 120k max word count. better to be lower if you're writing contemporary fantasy, while you can be on the high end if you're writing epic fantasy. other subgenres may fall in between.)

I cut...a lot, in some cases through actually cutting while in other cases combining things. for example, there's a scene now where a dragon attacks Detroit while Our Heroes are delayed there. It used to be separate scenes: Edna & Co. delayed in Detroit, with not much happening except the reason for the delay, and a later scene where they came across a random dragon attack elsewhere. additionally, the secondary antagonist runs around with an old friend who used to be two separate characters: the character he is now, and another old friend of theirs who was just sort of a generic asshole who didn't serve much purpose in the story.

thanks to cutting and combining scenes and characters this way, the story moves along faster, the stakes involved in those scenes and characters are higher, and everything is more tightly tied together. when I finally queried, Remarkable Retirement was down to just 98,000 words (published at 99,000 words).

similarly, in the book now on sub (Buried Things aka GroundskeeperWIP), I cut most of a short chapter from the antagonist's POV. I tried it as a prologue but didn't like that I don't do prologues in general although I know some folks love them, then tried moving it later but didn't like that either, and finally ended up just using bits of it that I felt were particularly useful in a chapter focused on a different character. I also cut a chapter from the POV of a friendly ghost/wingman from beyond the grave (but have it saved in case a future editor's like "you know what we need—")

worth noting that Buried Things wasn't massively overwritten. I think the longest draft was 104k or 106k, while it's on sub at about 90k (and the entirety of the last 4,000 words I cut from it was through line edits, not plot changes). however, both chapters stalled the story without adding much. what they did add, I was able to incorporate into other chapters instead.

expanding

while Remarkable Retirement's need for cuts was more obvious, some things were also expanded upon, especially with my publisher! my editor felt that the romantic subplot needed a little more build-up—not in terms of what happens or how it happens, but in terms of making it clearer why these two people start to have those feelings. similarly, a friend who read Buried Things thought it was great overall but that a particular character wasn't fleshed out enough.

in both cases, I think it was that instance of "things in my head do not always make it onto the page." when my friend had questions about the character in Buried Things, I had answers; those answers just weren't on the page. same thing with the romantic subplot in Remarkable Retirement. so it was a matter of taking what was in my head and making sure it actually came across on the page, although in other cases I may realize I don't already know that stuff and need to brainstorm to develop it more.

both together

in the case of NettieWIP, even though I'm not done drafting yet, I already know some stuff I'll need to cut and expand on! I find I'm repeating myself a lot in this draft, plus it's very dialogue heavy. so I'll need to cut back on some themes and emotions I keep bringing up, as well as trim down the dialogue and let the murder investigation not be entirely conversation.

conversely, there's virtually no setting description or atmosphere, so those are things I'll want to expand on in revisions.

tl;dr: in conclusion

okay this got really long because if you get me talking about writing it is impossible to shut me up, but here are the major takeaways for everyone playing along at home:

my general process: (1) finish the draft; (2) let the draft breathe; (3) read the entire draft; (4) focus on big-picture changes first; (5) plan your revision/rewrite; (6) rewrite/revise; (7) use beta readers

knowing the heart of your story helps you figure out what to cut, what to keep, and what to expand on

knowing the heart of your story helps you figure out what feedback might be useful and what feedback might not be right for this book

it can also helpful to look for patterns of feedback, but this is mostly helpful when your beta readers share your identity, particularly if you are a marginalized creator

thanks so much for giving me an excuse to drone on and on about writing your question!

[vonkarma2]

also dw if you don’t want to but crow

My overall opinion on the character: he’s like in the characters of all time tier like not only do I love him a lot as a character he’s like iconic to me. Influential. I really like his story and his personality genuinely I think his whole backstory is very interesting. also he’s funny

One virtue they have: I guess his sincere desire to protect others and keep them safe even though it’s influenced by and corrupted by outside forces and overall not expressed in the best ways it’s still nice. Like it’s kinda faint praise to say that he’ll make absolutely sure the person isn’t innocent or the wrong person before he kills them. But at least he does it ✌️ and ofc it’s all for the sake of humanity ✌️ although you could say his devotion to these ideals is a huge flaw ✌️ but it comes from a good place I guess at least partially

One flaw they have: I’m going to try to come up with something more in depth than like “he kills people” I guess his self righteousness like his unwillingness to consider that what he’s doing May be wrong. Obviously you get why he does this considering it’s how he’s spent his life for a very long time he’s been manipulated since he was like relatively young but still. Not even like he won’t question like the sanctum overall or like the way he became Crow in the first place, even just in like specific actions. So I guess overconfidence? I’ve talked about like 3 different things here lmao I hope this made sense. 

Favorite moment from their arc: I don’t really know his entire arc unfortunately. The part where he dies I don’t know if he dies. The part where he dies peacefully surrounded by loved ones in 2063. Ok but for real I liked the part where Lennox asked him if he liked being in the Sanctum and he lost his mind trying to justify it. It was both funny and sad <3

Least favorite moment from their arc: I don’t really have a least favorite moment. I didn’t like when he killed people that was sad. I guess at like the beginning of his backstory when he was an annoying teenager who made 1 terrible decision next thing you know he’s monologuing about his philosophy and driving around killing people in his shitty car. Not in that it’s badly written but in that 1) he was annoying back then 2) everything that happened to him could have been so easily prevented

One relationship they have with another character: This is so funny I have to explain a character relationship to the creator of those characters. I guess I’m going to go with grossly oversimplifying his relationship with Lennox, basically he’s weirdly intense and dedicated to all humans so that ofc includes him but he also likes him a lot personally. Whereas Lennox is both put off by this and likes him more because of it, and/or I guess is intrigued. Like he’s interested in learning more about him which I would be too like what the hell is going on there. Also they have a gay thing going on or whatever. This is incredibly general but like that’s part of it I guess. This explanation might not sound very enthusiastic, but I do think they have a very interesting dynamic and I think could develop a lot from knowing each other if that makes sense

One relationship I'd like to see explored from this character: Honestly him and Dashwood I think are interesting, ofc I’d like to see him interact with Kaleela and Baize too (potentially Aidan as well could you imagine. But like at the point in time when they would interact Crow would be too busy feeling like this

to have like a real relationship with him) but I think like with their connection going back so far, + this whole thing being Dashwood’s idea so he kinda shares the blame for everything Crow has done along with the man himself, + the way they have wildly different perspectives on their relationship. So I think it could be very interesting. Shame he fucking died lol

What I would have liked to see happen with them in the media: oh idk ummm. Well first of all anything just bc I love reading about him in general. But I guess I would say like positive character growth and just mundane activities. Me when I care for the well-being of a fictional character, but idk I would like to see him doing normal things and also changing his mindset and becoming a better person or whatever 🙄

[mercurytrinemoon]

Another post on Moon signs you can drag me for

Before we get into the actual thing, I'd like to say this post initially started as something else but ultimately, what I tried to put across is, sometimes Moon signs aren’t that easy to decipher. It’s easy to grasp overall characteristics of the signs and then learn how to identify their specific traits. But what people seem to forget it that Moon represents the deepest side of us & our inner world - it’s uncommon to really see someone’s side of it unless you really pay attention. Sometimes I’m surprised to see what someone’s Moon sign is even if I know this person well. Meaning, people usually hide that part of them - or they just simply process it internally and others can’t see their emotional reactions. It’s also uncommon for folks these days to fully express their emotional needs so it gets even trickier to pin-point their Moon characteristics. I don't think I have to mention this but, of course, your entire chart should be taken into account, as well as house placement, aspects. Personally, I like to also look at Moon's dispositor.

Let’s start from my friends, Gemini Moons, who, I feel, get a bad rep for not showing their feelings and scanning every emotion like an AI. Nah-ah. I know this one Gemini Moon whose immediate emotional reactions aren’t very cerebral in the sense of processing everything in the mind and intellectualizing it aka, what people like to label as being un-emotional. Instead her reactions are often fast (air energy) but physically expressed through Mercury (Gemini Moon’s dispositor) and Sun (overall identity) – she has them both in Aries. She’s a crybaby who can burst into tears in a matter of seconds. So she’s not something that would stereotypically be assigned to a Gemini Moon. But what I did notice is that all Gemini Moons tend to have this weird look on their face when they’re processing stuff. As if they were about to have a brain malfunction; they stop and have that specific worried look. They also like to either gossip or tell stories (either real or made up lol); they’re great with words - they can talk for hours if they feel comfortable with you. They just crave interaction and mental stimulation. Their quick reactions tend to make them effortlessly witty. Even if they’re a withdrawn Gemini type, they make up for it through social media and technology or just a quiet exploration. My shy Cancer pal with Moon in Gemini is now a brand/website designer and an instagram queen who travels the world. This is great energy for content creators in general. And don’t forget that Geminis need to have their fingers in many pies. It’s because they always have a backup plan… and they get bored easily so they need that chaos around them to feel at home. They like to have options in everything, which is kind of funny cause it’s hard for them to make up their minds and actually choose something. And they store a lot of information in their brains… I feel like it must be exhausting, no? 

On the other side of the axis, whenever I see someone with a Sagittarius Moon, I can immediately say “yup, a Sag Moon indeed” (probably thanks to my Sag stellium), meaning, they all seem the same to me. Sag Moons often find comfort in exploration - best if it’s literal travel. They always seem to need to free themselves from their surroundings, family, roots or their own culture to discover something new and exciting, even if it’s only in the imaginary words - through books, movies and other medias. Their happiness always lies somewhere else from where they currently are. Like, I think all Sagittarius Moons that I know have left their parents and went their own paths early on. And they have this yolo attitude. Just like Sagittarius Suns, they’re massive dorks, probably also obnoxious… sometimes in a REALLY annoying way. They’re either a) very wise and curious b) lil preachy and stuck up c) just plain dumb clowns with no filter. But they’re all funny. And they take things lightly, with a natural ease. This means sometimes they may offend other people just because they assume everyone’s as chill as they are; „relax! I was just kidding!” - that’s a phrase you’ll hear from them often… I mean, unless you’re a jokester yourself and you’re unmoved by their sarcastic or teasing words. They have somewhat spiritual or philosophical nature so besides making you laugh, be prepared for deep monologues. They want to believe everything will eventually fall into place. It’s also hard to bring them down - or I should say, it’s hard to make them acknowledge that they're feeling down - they always try to distract or cover it up with a joke, usually a self-depricating one. If Sagittarius Moon (or Sagittarius in general tbh) is telling you that they’re unhappy, then it’s serious.

I’ve noticed there comes a point in life for a Libra Moon where they just have enough. They’re too nice for everyone and one day they wake up and yell about how they have to do everything for everyone and everyone wants something from them and bLah bLah. Makes me think of when Bieber was this overly nice kid and then he was like “I’M NOT TAKING PICTURES WITH FANS ANYMOREEEE AAGhJFJFUWIUq”. Yup, a Libra Moon, everyone. They know how to charm and appeal to people, I think overall they’re easily liked by others. Sometimes it’s simply because they like to kiss people’s ass just to avoid being rejected. That’d be a Libra Moon’s nightmare. They like other people’s company too much. And they thrive in relationships and in a big circle of friends. What they hate is confrontations (like every other Libra placement omg). They may be good mediators when it comes to other people but if they’re involved in an argument they get sooooo passive aggressive. They just don’t know how to handle conflicts - it’s as if their nervous system wasn’t designed for emotional outbursts (because, you know, everything needs to be peaceful and harmonious Venus-style). A fussy or angry Libra Moon will suddenly get loud as they blame someone for something… and then they’ll leave the room cause they’re scared to even hear the other side of the argument. Or, alternatively, they’ll make a doormat out of themselves just to stay quiet and avoid causing any rift. And making decisions? I think it’s common for them to have two different romantic interests and feeling so dramatically torned between them *Alexa play Agony from Into the Woods*. Then when they decide, they have problems breaking the bad news to one of them.

On the other end we have Aries Moons. *deep breath* Listen, I think I’ve said enough about having Moon in Aries (or rather purely dissing it) but last time it made a bit of controversy so why not wreak even more havoc. I have a good description for this one: I will punch you but be gentle with me cause it’s easy to break my fragile heart. So basically, imagine putting Buttercup and Bubbles into one person. And honestly, I need to say this, women with this placement are just hot badasses, look at friggin Angelina Jolie. The queen of badass. The queen of hot. People say because Aries folks move quickly (literally and figuratively lol), they often get bored with whatever got them excited last week... or yesterday. Ha, yeah, right. You get their heart to open up and they’re going to have their eyes for you ONLY, like a lil puppy. Give us treats and we’ll build our world around you. But NOT in a clingy way by any means, we need our space and independence after all. My lil niece is an Aries Moon and ever since I started playing guitar with her, she became my #1 fan or something. That’s the energy. But we get easily bored with day-to-day stuff so yeah, there’s that. Innocent and clumsy yet raw in their emotions - so there’s potential to make mistakes sometimes (or a lot of times) or having this tunnel vision, like „I want this and I don’t care about anything else!”. And then excusing it with some „but the heart wants what it wants” crap (looking @ ya, Selena Gomez). They experience constant inner movement and turbulence that needs a physical outlet in order to feel satisfied. WE NEED PASSION IN OUR LIVES, OKAY?!?!?? now leave me alone

Aquarius Moons aren’t as cold as you might think. People like to describe them as if their Moons actually disappeared from their charts: dEtaCheD, uNeMotiOnaL, tHey fEeL nOtHinG. It’s just they don’t sit and dwell on things, they find solutions to the problems. If something doesn’t make them feel right, they just leave that situation. They do care about other people’s well-being, they’re very sensitive in that regard, they’re humanitarians after all. Yeah, they detach, but from their own emotions - in order to make sense of them. They may seem like snow queens sometimes (and this comes from an Aqua rising) but they’re really friendly and if you pique Aqua Moon’s interest, they’re going to be curious about you. They like new exciting things so if you’re cool enough, you have their attention. Usually they’re pretty progressive as well and can’t stand injustice. That’s why you’ll see them standing up for those who are in need. Uranian energy gives them a specific type of sharp intuition and wit. Idk they’re just cute in a quirky way. But this buzzing, fast energy is a great recipe for anxiety, over-thinking and frequent changes of heart. Similarly to Sadges, they need constant exploration and stimuli. Intelligent, people-oriented (but not people-pleasing! Look to Libras for that), individualistic. They definitely need their own space and independence. Their decision-making is fast and it’s easy for them to just say „screw it, I’m doing this”. My Aquarius Moon friend just casually decided that she’s moving to Turkey cause nothing in our city (or even country) seems interesting or helping her expand… So she was like, see ya suckers, I’m leaving.

Leo Moons shine from within. You’ll spot them from a mile away even if they’re on the shyer side. They’re all lil stars no matter their profession. Very expressive people & easily excitable. Art galleries, live shows, theater - they love a creative environment even if they don’t pursue that lifestyle themselves... One of my Leo Moon friends is an art junkie – suggest taking her to an obscure play at the local bar, a music festival, a weird museum – she’ll say yes in the blink of an eye. And she loves discussing these things. A Leo Moon may not see themselves as artistically inclined, but usually sooner or later they at least try dipping their toes in music, arts, acting, dancing... you name it. They’ll learn a simple 3-chord song on a ukulele and then play it to you in excitement. Imagine a lil kid making you a puff piece and being super proud of it. Sometimes they just need some encouragement. Remember, Leos feed off of praise, that’s their fuel. Doesn’t mean they’re all proud, egotistical people but what it does mean is that they need a lil assurance to gain their self-confidence. I lived with a Leo Sun/Moon for almost 15 years (who’s a musician btw so yeah, a classic creative Leo type) - he did have some issues lol but ego wasn’t one of them. Drama followed him everywhere but I’m pretty sure he disliked it himself. BUT, with that being said, I feel like Leo Moons tend to dramatize themselves internally. People say it’s something Virgos or Geminis would do - because of their tendency to overthink, but Leos can just go straight to a worst-case scenario in their heads simply because they exaggerate everything. So don’t be surprised to see a Leo Moon feeling down and anxious. On the bright side, be their cheerleader and they’ll give that to you in return. They need sparks and dullness kills their upbeat spirit. They need to feel their own heartbeat so the feeling of excitement is crucial for their well-being. Romantic, giving and kind. They’re fixed fire so once they’re set on something or someone, they give their all and are rather loyal.

I feel like my chart low-key tells me I should dislike Taurus Moons but I just want to melt in their arms and just stay there? Like, forever? Low maintenance but a bit slow-moving and stubborn. They won’t settle easily, at least not officially, so you need to have a lot of patience with them. They need 3 things to feel secure and at peace: physical stimuli, time and a stable place they know they can always come back to. And it’s not like all of them are total lazy homebodies, they may be active spirits & travellers but they are going to have a reallyyyyy nice cosy flat somewhere near their childhood place (gotta be be close to their moms, you know). Not necessary materialistic but they may have one thing that they collect throughout their entire life and they won’t. ever. get. rid. of. it. There needs to be at least one constant in their life - like you know when Elton John decided to go to therapy but one thing he stuck to was shopaholism? Very Taurus Moon of him. Also, they’re very affectionate. In fact, may have issues differentiating between affection and passion - this is actually something Taurus Moon and Aries Moon have in common. Pro tip - and this is in regard to all Taurus placements - don’t smell bad when you’re around them (I mean, don't smell bad in general, no one likes stinky people lol). They have a sensitive smell. Doesn’t help that they like to smell everything. EVERYTHING. I swear, Taurus, stop sticking your nose in every single thing!!! You don't need to know how that piece of utensil smells like. Jeez.

Scorpio Moon (shoutout to those who remember me accidentally calling them sporpio last time I made a post on Moons lol). I honestly don’t know what to tell you... I feel like all you hear about Scorpio Moon is 100% true, there’s nothing to debunk here. It’s the Moon of extremes. Prone to jealousy and surpressing emotions; severe trust issues; they’re instigators. I was low-key bullied by a few Scorpio Moons when I was in school so there’s that. Very secretive and private. Scorpio Moon will be like “I’m in control of the situation!!!!” and you’ll just look at them and think, yeah, right, looks like the situation is controlling you. But keep being in denial, sure. Like, don’t get me wrong, Scorpios in general can be TOTAL SWEETHEARTS OMG but ya’ll have issues. Even celebrities who have this placements... Think Beyonce or Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus... I feel like they have issues lol, especially with control and the need for everything to be perfectly the way they want it to be. To be fair, that’s probably why they’re all so influential and high status: it’s either their way or highway. They need constant reinvention; they’re the ones to wake up one day and decide they’re going through a spiritual awakening blah blah. They also like to talk about dark and shocking topics while having casual lunch with you... So like, be warned that you may end up with a depressed mood after talking to them for 10 minutes. And their mood swings... don’t even get me started on that.

I don't know where to start with Virgo Moons... I feel like they're very calculated and nit-picky but they're a lot warmer than Virgo Suns. I think I called them softies in my last Moon post. Very sweet people but prone to anxiety. You gotta experience seeing them having a heart attack over someone mixing bananas with milk or messing with their stuff that’s been put in a perfect arrangement. I saw a Virgo Moon once literally squealing shouting "YOU'RE GONNA RUIN YOUR LAPTOP WITH THAT SUPERGLUE!!!" Highly entertaining to watch, not gonna lie. Gordon Ramsay has his Moon in Virgo - it’s conjunct Uranus and Pluto so that’s an extreme but I think him being fed up with people over small inconsistencies in their food prep is a perfect example of this energy (btw his chart is hilarious, it literally explains EVERYTHING). They're VERY picky with their food as well, just as Virgo Suns tend to be. Like, they’ll only have a specific type of single origin coffee or they’ll be vegan or something. Self-critical over their work, which is a plus... except for when finishing a simple task takes them a few hours because they want to make it perfect. They take everything seriously. This of course doesn't mean they're total bores - on the contrary, Mercurial energy gives them witty approach and a talent for choosing the right words at the right time. Tho they can be a bit awkward or shy with it. Can be as bubbly as Gemini but the grounded earthy energy gives them more practical and almost nurturing nature - earth signs are providers after all and Virgo is the sign of service - helping others is like their second nature. I’ve noticed they often find comfort in devoting themselves to a choosen task - this is why if they pursue something, they’re really good at it. They’re also very likely to dissect their emotions.

I’m not a fan of water Moons in general but Pisces Moon is the best water Moon in my opinion. Maybe because I like Pisces overall. I think it’s like a tweaked Sagittarius Moon - just more internalized, withdrawn & gloomy. But unlike Sag, who has a tendency to be an adventurous optimist, Pisces likes to focus on the negatives instead. Obviously, they can be very upbeat, they’re Jupiter-ruled after all, but there’s somehing whiny about them lol. Just like Sadges, they dream big and have their standards put up sooo high but if there's not much active energy in their charts, they’re often too passive to actually fullfill any of that - or I should say, they’re stuck daydreaming about it, believing it’ll just magically manifest for them... OR they do everything with an apathetic approach. What I do like about them is that they’re funny. And really chill - sometimes to the point of coming off as confused or hazy. I feel like a lot of them would just love to sleep all day... or sit by the lake and just think about the world. Most of them are also compassionate folks - again, maybe a bit too much. Hey Pisces, you don’t have to take everything to heart, it’s okay. On the bright side, they have big imagination and the ability to disconnect and just create. I have a few Pisces Moons in the family: one’s that sleepy artistic type with grand visions, one is an asshole-ish but funny entrepreneur with a questionable work ethic and one is a witty IT guy who’s actually a workaholic and likes to shut in his own world of computers and numbers or whatever he does there... So there’s this factor of tunnel vision, escapism and, on the more negative side, being kinda iffy and almost addicted to the way they want things to be. Once they set their eyes on something it’s done deal…

My issue with Capricorn Moons is that they're often trying to be sooooo mature omg, like, loosen up a bit. It usually starts when they're in their later teens... They can be the most rebellious kid that likes to have fun and suddenly they'll be like "I'm too old for this ugh grow up" *judgmental stare*. My 18-year old niece once literally roasted my sister that she's in her 30s and still doesn't have her own place (well so do I so I guess she also indirectly roasted me as well???). And she was SO deadpan with it. Because she herself wants to be independent and start a family before turning 25. This is classic Capricorn Moon energy. They suck out joy out of everything lol. Of course, OF COURSE, it depends on the whole chart but I feel like worst-case scenario is that at one point in their life (or maybe even a few times throughout it) they go through a massive shake-up that makes them change their attitude and re-evaluate their structures. There's this multi-instrumentalist Yvette Young - she's a sweet, funny Cancer/Leo mix but her Moon is in Capricorn. She used to be a competitive pianist but the pressure that was put on her has led her to severe health issues. Like yes, she’s now an extremely talented musician - thanks to family’s expectations & a rigid schooling system (Saturn) but it did cost her a lot. She has recovered since then but I think it's a perfect example of this energy. It’s very ambitious and hardworking but emotionally demanding in the sense that you have to actually put your emotions aside in order to deal with the rest. Another thing, because Moon can be associated with family, there's often a weird dynamic surrounding this topic. I don't think I've met a Capricorn Moon that had a completely healthy and happy relationship with their fam or one of the family members. Or, alternatively, there can be a strong bond between one of them but usually created in the atmosphere of hardships.

Last but not least, Cancer Moons. I had three school friends with this placement and all of them made this sad, whiny face as they said „oh I don’t knoooow anymoreee”  when they were feeling torned or frustrated. To be fair, two of them are water Suns so for them, it added to the mushyness. All Cancer Moons I know are family people or better yet, baby people. One of those school friends is now a guidance counsellor, working with kids; the other turned her instagram into a gallery of her own child after she gave birth. So much kid content, omg. There’s also something very indecisive about them… or I should say, hesitant. They’re not very fast at making decisions. Also, what’s interesting, they’re kind of like walking libraries, they remember a lot – so they store a lot of information in their brains just like air signs but they process it in a completely different way – emotional, obviously. I think this also makes them hold grudges a lot. For them it’s more of a question of „how does it make me feel?” rather than „how valid is it?”. There’s certain stubborness in them in that regard because they don’t keep their minds open. It’s also hard for them to walk away from people and situations, like a crab pinching you with its claws – it won’t let go. Sensitive but not easy to open up; very protective of themselves and their loved ones & they tend to shut down in their crab shells. But they may crave connection and the feeling of belonging. Also very caring and with a big imagination. They’re very receptive of their environment so mood swings are a thing for them.

[bookofmirth]

I was reading your conversation with an Anon about Elain’s choice and I agree with everything you both said, but I just wanted to add some more details! You were saying that no one knows Elain or cares much about her choices, which is 100 true, but I would also say that no one, especially not Beron would stand up for Lucien or make a fuss in his name over the mating bond. It feels so disingenuous to keep accusing Lucien of taking her choice away when he also had zero choice in the matter and he’s possibly the most underdog character in the entire series. He doesn’t have a home, a court, a family, or anyone to support him for that matter. He has two humans in his court which seems hilariously small compared to Elain’s arsenal of support. Maybe Tamlin, but right now he’s a villain and a mess. People also keep pointing out that Rhys is keep her and Azriel apart, but I feel like that was a very logical decision. Her mate is literally in the house and Rhysand must’ve felt something to wake up and catch them in the act. Telling Azriel to chill out and leave Elain be with all of the circumstances is quite frankly normal. But I really don’t think anyone would take Lucien’s side if Elain just made a decision. You know that if she rejects Lucien and pursues Azriel, Rhysand would protect his brother and his mate’s sister from whatever Lucien could muster up. And, especially the way the IC thinks of him (weak but with important insight as a courtier), I doubt any of them would be too scared to stand up to him. His connections as of yet are an asset, but I think his mind is what brings more to the table, political knowledge and analytical thinking. And while those are valuable, I doubt Rhys values him even in the same ballpark as he values Azriel. I’m sure Lucien will reach his full potential as heir to Day Court soon but they don’t really know his true powers and abilities, Helion doesn’t know his son, no one could accuse them of knowing/suspecting his true identity, and if the night court wiped out another son of Beron’s, it’d just be adding to the already existing conflict. This is by no means Lucien’s fault, he’s been wronged by so many at every turn, including Feyre btw. I think the choice solely lies in Elain’s hands and the fact that she hasn’t made a choice or didn’t even bother to know how to deal with Lucien is a testament to her character, that’s what she needs to improve from. I’m assuming that her trauma will be her catatonic state: she complains about never being seen, never being taken seriously but she also eases into that role right now and I think she will have a healing journey which emboldens her to take control of her own life, not listen to her mother’s toxic advice about marrying rich and being a wife, but doing things she wants, not waiting for some guy to save her, etc. I’m an Elucien girlie myself, but if at the end of that healing journey she rejects Lucien, that’s also her choice, just more informed. If she rejects him earlier, that’s nothing but her choice as well, but she hasn’t made one. I also don’t see how people jump to the stalking/harassing conclusion when he doesn’t do anything but give her a gift once a year. Sorry about this massive message lol but E/riel people have worn me down 🥲

It feels so disingenuous to keep accusing Lucien of taking her choice away when he also had zero choice in the matter and he’s possibly the most underdog character in the entire series.

The funny thing to me is that it's not actually Lucien who has "taken" Elain's choices - like you said, Lucien didn't choose the mating bond either, and he's been very hands-off for 2+ years. If anyone has "forced" elucien to be together it's Sarah, because sjm is the one who made them mates. And why? Because they're going to be together. idk why people wanna act like a fictional character is being harmed by their creator, but it sure is hilarious to watch in real time.

Like... people were bringing up those tweets from 2015 where Sarah said that Lucien would have someone special, at the same time she was writing the elucien mating bond and retconning Lucien's daddy so that Lucien would be High Lord of Day, so that Lucien's parentage fits into Elain's personality. acomaf came out in 2016. It doesn't get more ~obvious~ than that. Then sjm kept going with that in acowar, with Lucien saying that Elain needs sunlight. Why are people acting surprised that elucien are still mates. It's because Sarah paired them, for a reason.

So...... sure, people can act like poor little Elain has been victimized by the mating bond, even though there is zero evidence of that in the text, but sjm is the one who loves that trope and she's the one who mated elucien. Take it up with her, I guess.

Her mate is literally in the house [...] I think the choice solely lies in Elain’s hands and the fact that she hasn’t made a choice or didn’t even bother to know how to deal with Lucien is a testament to her character, that’s what she needs to improve from.

idgaf what people think about me saying this, but Elain pulling this while Lucien was in the house and she hasn't said shit about the mating bond was rude. Full stop! It was inconsiderate as fuck. I like Elain and I think she was doing this (IE almost kissing Az) to rebel against her perceived restrictions - doesn't make it any less potentially hurtful. And note I said "perceived", because her failure to assert herself is not the same thing as others' refusal to let her do more. Those are two things that have gone hand in hand to get her where she is today. Elain is the one who hasn't done anything about the mating bond. She has the power, the control, she's just not doing anything about it.

Does Elain owe Lucien anything as a person/woman? No. Does she owe him anything as a mate? Yeah, she fucking does! It's called being a grown ass person and recognizing when your actions, intentionally or not, are harming someone else. And Lucien cannot extract himself from this situation. He is literally magically bound to Elain, and so her actions impact him in ways that he has no control over. (This is why the situation with Mor and Az is different, btw, because Az absolutely has control over his own behavior in regards to her.)

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if literally the only reason Elain said her breathy little "yes" is because Lucien was there in the house. That's maybe an issue for a different post, though.

All of this is moot, honestly, because it's clear that sjm mated them to be together, she just hasn't gotten around to telling their story. It's annoying af, but it's a habit she has. She sidelines characters if they aren't the MCs, despite... books like CC and ToG where she never had to do that.

she complains about never being seen, never being taken seriously but she also eases into that role right now

YES it's totally a double-edged sword because I think that Elain did benefit from this, and now she's feeling stifled by it. She created this situation by being passive her entire life, and now she's understandably sick of it. But she can't act like it's not a trap of her own making.

And just generally, on the subject of Elain, why is it that people can like Eris and know he's a trashbag who has done trashbag things, but if we admit that Elain has been less than perfect, we don't "really" like her character? It's the double standards, for me. Sorry my girl is a hot mess but it's true. I can embrace the mess. It smells like roses, after all.

[kitkatopinions]

So, let’s talk about James’s semblance, Mettle.

Ironwood's Semblance, Mettle, strengthens his resolve which allows him to carry through with his decisions, helping him hyper-focus (RWBY wiki)

Actual quotes on Ironwood’s semblance from the RTX RWBY Panel.

“So Ironwood does have a semblance. We - it’s in the show, it’s in like little bits, you can kind of see it. It’s more like a passive semblance that runs in the background.” Eddy Rivas

“The whole thing is just this kind of like, iron resolve-slash-will that like kind of powers him to - almost like a very stubbornly, narrow-set focus like mind set on things, to kind of like push himself to do what he’s decided he’s gonna do-” Eddy Rivas

“It kind of helps him like, hyper focus,” Kerry Shawcross

“Or like, pushing through something like searing the flesh off your arm. If like, this is the goal he needs to accomplish, everything else just goes by the wayside.” Miles Luna

“So that’s kind of running in the background of seven and eight a little bit.” Eddy Rivas

“So it felt a little weird and we just never put it on the page, but you can actually see it happening.” Eddy Rivas

“We could possibly get it out later, but we thought it’d be more fun for you to be able to watch volume eight, and go back and watch volume 7 knowing that.” Kerry Shawcross

So I’m going to be talking about some of the problems I think there are with Ironwood’s semblance and it not being included in the show. I’m going to be very critical of and bashing RWBY, and there’s probably going to be CRWBY bashing too. If you don’t want to see any of that or if you’re against any sort of pro Ironwood content, don’t read this post or interact.

So let’s try to piece together from these statements what Ironwood’s semblance is.

It’s a passive semblance. As far as I know, the only other passive semblance we have to judge how those work is Qrow. Unlike active semblances, Qrow’s passive semblance can’t be controlled, and can only be increased at will, but always runs at frequencies severe enough that Qrow thinks of it as controlling his life and preventing him from being able to be close to his family. From the way Qrow’s semblance behaves, we can extrapolate that James’s semblance likely works in the same way, and in the panel, it’s described as ‘running in the background.’ I.E. He can’t turn it off, it runs through his entire life, he can only increase it in certain times.

It’s described as hyper-focusing, stubbornness, narrow-set focus, being unable to concentrate or care about things outside of his set goal, and pushing himself in doing what he’s decided he has to do.

There are several reasons I want to talk about this semblance.

1. This semblance might’ve been newly invented for season 7 and 8. Why do I think this? Eddy Rivas says ‘I believe we called it Mettle’ in the panel (emphasis is mine,) and is talking like he was included in inventing it, even though he became a co-writer for volume 7. Also they don’t mention if it affected Ironwood pre-volume 7, they only mention it being seen or considering including it in volume 7 and 8. Also, the voice actor of James Ironwood didn’t know about this semblance until a fan told him. It’s possible that this semblance was written earlier, but I doubt it and I think that this semblance was invented in the conception of volumes 7 and 8 with Eddy Rivas being involved. As such, I’m going to view everything pre-volume 7 as actions we were intended to consider James’s actual character, and everything post-volume 6 as actions influenced by his semblance.

2. The fact that it’s not included is lazy. This is a character defining semblance. This colors literally everything that Ironwood does in seasons seven and eight, this is a major game changer, this changes any understanding of the character. I’ve said this before, but fans shouldn’t have to do homework to understand the story. Many fans don’t want to go searching through panels, wikis, books, and zoom meetings to try and piece together why a character might be the way they are or how the magic systems work. The fact that the semblance isn’t included has led to confusion about how the semblance works. Some RWBY fans will present the way they decided the semblance works and get actively angry at fans who headcanon that it works differently or are upset with the way the creators themselves described the semblance. Other fans act like RWBY critics who think Ironwood’s fall to villainy is hard to track are stupid for not knowing this completely unincluded detail, and other fans villainize the semblance and use it as a reason why Ironwood is an inherently bad person. On the flip side, James Ironwood fans are rightly confused at this semblance that seems like it could be an explanation for the sudden shifts in his character. Some of them don’t understand why this semblance isn’t explained and at least treated as a part of his fall and treated more sympathetically. The fact that it wasn’t explained in the show leads to fans coming up with their own conclusions, and then arguing over what version is viable or what the collective fandom should accept.

3. The semblance itself is a lazy explanation for his villainy. The creators didn’t write a convincing hero-to-villain story. Ironwood’s leaps in morality are made with very little groundwork or explanation, he goes from ‘doing what he feels needs to be done’ to threatening to bomb the remaining citizens of Mantle in a completely irrational time with laughter and smiles over the course of a season that didn’t really put the focus on that progression. The semblance wasn’t explained or even mentioned and Ironwood wasn’t treated with sympathy or understanding, because we were meant to hate him and see him as the enemy to the protagonists, who we were meant to see as completely right. But the semblance is then an easy explanation that ‘fills out the plot holes’ if CRWBY is asked, that they can use to justify the fall to villainy - or use to suddenly redeem James if they decide they want to. And as I said before, this semblance is already being used by the mega-fans to explain the fall to villainy and throw it in the faces of any critics. Once again, it feels like the writers are just coming up with whatever they can to make up for their shitty writing, while they also rely on their fans to fill in the gaps and ‘explain’ to critics exactly how they think the semblance works and act like the critics or bashers should’ve just come to the same conclusion they did.

4. The semblance is problematic because of how villainized James is specifically for things like his semblance. The semblance is literally the best possible explanation for Ironwood’s fall and the only one I’ve heard that makes any sense. But his semblance is literally described by the creators as ‘hyper-focusing.’ The fact that his semblance is treated as something that makes him more of a villain and something that aids in his destructive behavior that isn’t ever treated with an ounce of sympathy or understanding, is a really bad look. There are real-life people who hyper-fixate on things and can’t help it, and while James’s semblance might not be hyper-fixating exactly, CRWBY still hurt people with the way they talked about this semblance and how they included it in Ironwood’s fall. I’m not diagnosed and I’m therefore never sure of this, but I think I’m ADHD and hyper-fixate on things (like RWBY, lol.) I’ve never been sure exactly how I view Ironwood’s semblance, but hearing the way that the CRWBY head writers talk about it made me feel like I should keep that side of me from people who don’t know me well like my co-workers. Whether or not it was intended, that’s what CRWBY did, and there are many more people than just me who were hurt or bothered by this personally.

5. Since I’m assuming this semblance was a new addition to James in season 7 and 8, it really honestly feels disconnected. It’s a passive semblance, it’s meant to affect James during the course of his whole life because he can’t turn it off. But in volumes 2 and 3, he seems honestly receptive to Oz, listens to him, never goes too far, never seems too stubborn, never seems to ignore other problems to focus on one thing more than what’s perfectly normal for regular people. Before literally near the tail end of volume 7, Ironwood acted like a regular person unaffected by a semblance at all, who just happens to be a determined person facing hard situations. It really feels like the semblance was invented to explain the jump to villainy, and then used to explain how he did things like sear the flesh off of his arm in the Watts fight to be like ‘look, this didn’t come out of nowhere! There it is in this scene!’ which is really lazy. And the disjointed feeling between Ironwood from his first appearance and Ironwood post-shooting Oscar still takes you out of the story and makes you go ‘wait, what’s going on here?’ You shouldn’t be able to see the hand of the author, but it was very clear to me that the writers just wanted villain!Ironwood and just did whatever the hell they wanted to get there whether or not it made sense or what they had to force or forget to do it.

6. This semblance... Really makes Qrow look like a jerk. It makes everyone look like a jerk, but it especially makes Qrow look like a jerk. There’s a very, very strong probability that Qrow never had any idea about this semblance that Ironwood couldn’t control. But after spending volumes sympathizing with Qrow and feeling bad for him and understanding that a lot of his problems stemmed from his horrible lot in life that he wrongly blamed himself for, to see him ready to kill a former friend who is even more affected by and ruled by a semblance than Qrow ever was made me seriously annoyed with the writing. In my opinion, they should’ve had Qrow know about his semblance, know that it was affecting his every choice, be deeply sympathetic and bothered by the situation, and be trying to get out of jail so he could break Ironwood’s aura and jolt him out of his affected state. It would’ve been much, much better in my opinion, for Ironwood’s character, Qrow’s character, and the story as a general whole. The way that villain Ironwood was done just is not interesting to me in any way. Not only did CRWBY miss any opportunity to present a compelling hero-turned-villain story, but they also invented a reason for Ironwood to be deeply sympathetic and easily redeemed and then made no one understand that this was a problem and seem to be going out of their way to act like it’s not there at all to make Ironwood a full villain! Why give him the semblance at all if they were going to not use it and expect everyone to want him to be a full, incredibly hard to redeem, EVIL VILLAIN?

I seriously can’t understand CRWBY’s choices. In my opinion, they should’ve either made Ironwood a sympathetic hero forced into doing villainous actions by this semblance that they should’ve rephrased in terms of how it works, or they should’ve just left him with no explained semblance.

Also, I think Mettle is a stupid name.

[commentaryvorg]

Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 6.12

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time as we approached the end of trial 6, everyone got to be the hero of their own story, just like Kaito once said! Shuichi used Kaede and Kaito’s words to encourage his friends to use their lives to end this, which then turned into Himiko and Maki making that decision for themselves, including Maki finally wonderfully reaching the end of her character arc and choosing to believe that her feelings are her own and they matter, just like Kaito’s efforts to help her still matter so much. Meanwhile, the audience were still being one-dimensional assholes, when it would be so much better if they’d been a reasonably relatable audience of fiction that could have been realising they’re the villains here and slowly becoming more and more on Shuichi’s side.

Tsumugi:  “Does the outside world really want that!? Do they want Danganronpa to end!? Hey! What are they saying!? What’s your inner voice saying!?”

Heh, Tsumugi is starting to sound nervous. She’s worried that they really might want Danganronpa to end after all.

…Which would have a lot more of an impact if there was any kind of impression at all that a significant amount of them have started to want that. There’ve been a tiny handful here and there who have maybe started to realise Shuichi is right, which I at least appreciate, but it would be so much better if those people had become a really noticeable voice among the rest of them by now. Shuichi should be getting through to a lot of people at this point after everything he’s been saying, and it would be lovely if that was actually happening and we could see it happening through these comments and be able to root for that part of the audience who’ve turned to Shuichi’s side!

Keebo:  “My inner voice doesn’t matter anymore! I’m going to end this game with my frie— …Hngh!?!?”

But instead. The audience. Literally. Just. Murders. Keebo. Just like that.

Tsumugi:  “See? They don’t want that kind of ending! They want the killing games to continue!”

Tsumugi says it’s about them wanting more killing games, but it’s not even that. Now that things have become a narrative mess that isn’t anything like their precious hope-versus-despair storylines, the outcome of this vote isn’t going to magically fix their ending and therefore should have very little bearing on whether or not more games happen after this one. That should be entirely down to the outside world demanding more from Team Danganronpa anyway despite how much of a mess this ending became. They shouldn’t need to murder Keebo for that!

“CTRL+ALT+KEEBO”

“cya later, hope robot…”

“Life ends in a flash LOL”

They don’t even care that they just murdered their protagonist! Not one of these comments right now is even remotely sad about this! An actual real audience that had been going through this whole story through Keebo’s eyes and loved him like an audience of fiction is supposed to love a main character would never be okay with this and wouldn’t have even considered doing this to him, especially not for such a pointless reason!

“Maybe we’re wrong…?”

You! Someone sensible, again! People like you need to be working harder to persuade everyone else of this!

The problem is, even these people who seem to be starting to realise what they’re doing are only vague and tentative about it. There’s nobody who’s confidently saying, “No, guys, Shuichi’s right, this is fucked up, we need to stop this right now.” Even with these tiny hints of it, there’s just not enough support for Shuichi’s cause in the audience here, and that’s not realistic at all.

“Shuichi isn’t a character <3”

Nope, not you, you are not on Shuichi’s side here. You do not get to be someone who seems like they’re actually acknowledging anyone here as a real person, nope nope nope.

Keebo’s body:  “Yes… My inner voice will not accept an ending without hope or despair.”

This is the only reason they killed him! Just so they can control his vote and get an ending which has arbitrarily has the word “hope” slapped onto it, even though it’s not! What’s actually happening right now is a far more compelling story than any of that bullshit would have been! It’s even a better representation of the word “hope”, because Shuichi and his friends are hoping that their sacrifice can end the killing games for good!

Tsumugi:  “Like I said, you can’t defy the audience when you’re their surrogate.”

It’s kind of cheating when he’s only not allowed to defy the audience because you programmed in a kill-switch for if he ever decided to do so. This is still not how audience surrogates actually work.

Tsumugi:  “Since Keebo kept defying the audience, they took a vote and decided… that troublesome personality of his should be erased!”

THEY JUST MURDERED HIM. This is the most infuriatingly gratuitous and pointless death in this whole game. If I cared more about Keebo’s character I would be even more annoyed, but I am still pretty damn annoyed at how unnecessary it is, when every other character’s death was given at least some kind of emotional weight and narrative reason to be happening. But this just happens because the in-universe audience is a bunch of one-dimensional non-people who’d apparently happily watch everyone die gratuitously without any meaningful story to it just to get their “hope” fix.

And since this happened as the result of an audience vote, that means that more than half of the audience right now wanted this and are still on the meaningless-hope bandwagon rather than actually being remotely persuaded by Shuichi. I wish I could say I was surprised, but with the way they’ve been babbling on in the comments, this is not surprising at all.

Shuichi:  “His personality was erased!?”

Keebo’s body:  “…”

Himiko:  “H-How cruel can you guys be? How long are you gonna play with our lives!?”

At least Shuichi and Himiko are having appropriately horrified reactions of you just killed him for no reason what the actual fuck??? Maki’s jaded enough to not have a similar outburst, but I’m sure she isn’t happy either.

Tsumugi:  “But that’s the decision of the outside world. ‘Don’t just end Danganronpa!’ ‘We supported you!’ ‘You owe us!’”

I get the feeling that the out-universe writers might have been venting a little bit here. And I do agree that this entitled mindset is rather sketchy – people paid to consume the media they’ve already consumed, but that doesn’t mean the creators owe them any more than that. Creators can make whatever content they want, and if they don’t want to make a thing any more because it’s lost its spark for them or they want to move on to something else, then that’s sad for the fans but it’s the creators’ right to do that.

Although, in-universe, we had that hint a few posts back that actually Danganronpa might already be on its last legs if this season took three years to come out. So at this point it’s probably only a handful of die-hard fans who are being this entitled, and maybe a lot of people whose comments we aren’t seeing because they don’t care enough wouldn’t be that bothered if it ended.

(Those people should still be realising if they’re watching this that Shuichi has a point and this is fucked up and be actively trying to get it to end, though.)

Keebo:  “I’m… sorry… I could not fight with you… until the end… But… your choice is not wrong… The real… enemy… is… The outside world who is enjoying this… killing game.”

I’m glad that at least Keebo’s consciousness manages to fight back for long enough to get a proper final speech to his friends. But even so. His death is the most unfair and pointless death in this whole story, and that’s saying something when Kiyo was one of the murderers.

Keebo:  “So please… use me… t-to change… To change… the… world…”

I appreciate Keebo’s willingness to still be helpful even in death, but… they shouldn’t need to use him for this.

Tsumugi:  “He’s completely erased. That makes me sad too, y’know? He was a character I created.”

This could be true. Writers are the ones responsible for killing off their characters, but they can still feel bad about doing so in the same in-story sense that made them care about the character in the first place – the same in-story way that their audience would care and be sad, too. That said, Tsumugi really doesn’t sound very sad about this here, and clearly her audience isn’t either.

Tsumugi:  “The outside world rejects your decision. So no matter how you use your lives, it won’t change anything.”

Shuichi:  “Then… I’ll change it…”

Shuichi is finally realising that the audience isn’t going to suddenly stop wanting more killing games just because this one got a disappointing ending and therefore that he needs to change their minds entirely. It’s apparently the callous cruelty of Keebo’s murder that spurred him to realise this. This is one way in which the out-universe writers are trying to get us to think that Keebo’s death was narratively necessary – but man, it really was not. If anything, rather than letting him realise he needs to change their minds, Keebo’s murder should have told Shuichi that he shouldn’t be able to change their minds. But we’ll get to that issue in a bit.

Instead of Shuichi only realising it upon Keebo’s death, the fact that one single boring ending isn’t going to change things should, and could, have been made apparent to him much sooner, from the moment Shuichi declared he was going to abstain from voting. Tsumugi could have simply responded to that by gloating that one disappointing ending wouldn’t be enough to end the whole thing and it’d still keep going. That should be enough to make Shuichi realise that, damn, she’s right, or at least she’s likely enough to be that it’s not worth the risk of sacrificing their lives to achieve nothing at all.

(The fact that they’re willing to give their lives to end this is part of what Shuichi is using to make the appeal that this really is all real to them and they’re not just fictional characters. But that gets dampened a little when you consider that them giving their lives, on its own and without it then being used as part of these appeals for their own realness, probably wouldn’t actually end this and would be a meaningless sacrifice. This might be part of why the narrative kept trying to insist until now that them sacrificing their lives totally would end the killing game on its own: so that everyone’s willingness to do so could seem meaningful enough to be something that might persuade the audience now.)

Shuichi:  “If Keebo is doing what the outside world is telling him, we just have to convince him… I know we can change the world! We owe it to Keebo to try!”

That doesn’t make any sense! This is blatantly the out-universe writers trying to make Keebo’s death seem actually necessary for the plot when it isn’t. The audience can hear what Shuichi is saying whether Keebo is dead or not! Shuichi persuading them to change should be hypothetically possible either way; Keebo did not need to die for this.

Tsumugi:  “I said it’s impossible! For fiction to change the real world—”

Shuichi:  “The impossible is possible! All you gotta do is make it so!”

But in other, better news, KAITOOOOO!!!!!

Even though Kaito’s gone, Shuichi would never have had the confidence to do this without him. He’d never have had the confidence to do any of this without Kaito. Team Danganronpa shot themselves in the foot by including a “weak” Ultimate Detective who grows strong, because they gave him way too much potential to end up this incredibly strong in the end. But they also shot themselves in the foot by including the Luminary of the Stars to help him reach that point, because no amount of nerfing could possibly have stopped Kaito from being able to bring out this potential in Shuichi. All he does is give his sidekicks a nudge, but that nudge is absolutely vital, and nobody but Kaito could have done it as well as he did.

Tsumugi:  “…Kh!?”

Oh dear, Tsumugi, is your own writing backfiring on you? Wishing you’d nerfed Kaito even more than you already did? It wouldn’t have changed anything!

Shuichi:  “You can even… change the world. No, we *will* change the world. For ourselves, and for everyone who died.”

I love that he’s able to genuinely believe this by holding onto Kaito’s words. If Kaito were still here then he’d absolutely be believing in Shuichi’s potential to do this, after all.

(And I am desperately trying to hold onto this uplifting inspiring feeling myself before I start thinking too hard about the fact that it doesn’t actually make any sense at all that Shuichi can do this, even with all the Kaito power in the world.)

Tsumugi:  “You fought to survive this killing game! If you die now, it’s all over!”

Shuichi:  “Even if we die, it’s not the end! Our friends who died gave us their love. And we changed because of that.”

This is so lovely! Everyone who’s died so far was fighting to survive, but their deaths don’t make their efforts meaningless, precisely because of the change they’ve inspired in the people left behind. Kaito was so so terrified of dying a meaningless death, but he didn’t, even without needing his role in trial 5. Shuichi and Maki are so much stronger thanks to him than they ever would have been without him, and they’re going to keep holding onto that and making Kaito’s life matter. The same goes for Kaede and Tenko and everyone else who cared about their friends and tried to help in even the smallest way.

Having Shuichi, Maki and Himiko be the three survivors here works so well for this, because they’re the three who’ve grown the most thanks to the efforts of some of the people who died. (Perhaps this is part of why Keebo was gratuitously killed – because he hasn’t had any kind of meaningful character arc inspired by a fallen friend like that. But geez, out-universe writers, the way to fix Keebo not being written well isn’t to kill him off now that he’s extraneous to the point of your ending, it’s to write him better in the first place!)

I also adore how Shuichi talks about the love that their friends gave them. Again, he’s not talking about romance! Platonic love is equally important and more than enough to change someone, and I love that Shuichi realises this!

Shuichi:  “If we can inspire change in others, then that love will live on. That love will tear down the wall between fiction and reality, and it will live on… forever.”

This bit gets me emotional every single time I see it. Remember how I mentioned back during some of the training sessions that Kaito inspired me to start exercising every day? It’s been over a year and a half now (and again will be even more than that when this gets posted) and I’m still showing no signs of stopping. And not only that – since this happened to get mentioned on my main blog, I might as well mention it here, too – without Kaito, I’m not sure I’d have been able to finish my PhD. The process of writing up my thesis seemed terrifingly huge and impossible, but thanks to being able to imagine what Kaito would say, I refused to give up. I told myself that that impossible thing was possible and I made it so. All because of a work of fiction.

So Shuichi is so, so right, and I am living proof of that. On some level, I really wish I could tell him what Kaito’s done for me – I’m sure he’d love to know that (and Kaito would have done, too). But of course, if that was ever actually possible, then it’d mean that they weren’t truly fictional at all and would instantly make me a terrible person for having enjoyed this, so it’s better that I can’t.

And I know I’m not the only example of the world having been changed by fiction, either! Participating in fandom lets one see over and over again, at least at the best of times, that having characters you love that inspire you really can help make a positive change in your life! (High-five, training anon!) This is such an absolutely lovely sentiment and I adore that it’s the ultimate message of this trial and this game!

(I just wish so badly that this idea was actually represented in the in-universe audience’s behaviour, like, at all. That Makoto kid at the beginning of the chapter was more or less an example of someone whose life was positively influenced by Danganronpa, but nobody in this audience right now is acting even remotely like that. Man, if only we could see more examples in the audience’s comments by this point, agreeing with Shuichi about this, telling their stories of how they’ve changed because of Danganronpa – maybe even someone mentioning they’ve started to exercise because of Kaito! – it would be beautiful. Why would you ruin the opportunity for this by making this audience mindless assholes, writers. Why.)

Shuichi:  “Even if this whole story is a lie… I will use that lie to change the world!”

This is also an absolutely lovely final use of the theme of using lies! It’s like Shuichi’s going to fire a huge Lie Bullet at everyone and use that to change them for the better! The whole concept of using lies in trials was always building up to this final message of how fiction can change the world!

There’s still somewhat of a distinction between lies and fiction that they’re not quite addressing here, though. Both are untrue, but fiction is something people know is untrue and aren’t being deceived by but rather choose to pretend is true and invest in anyway. It’s through that power that fiction can change people. If someone is changed by an outright deceptive lie that they genuinely think is true, then that’s just manipulation – and perhaps it can sometimes be the case that they were changed for the better by it anyway, but it’s not quite the same thing as this.

…Plus, there’s also the fact that Shuichi and his friends and everything they’ve been through in this killing game aren’t actually lies at all on any meaningful level, but, you know. I still appreciate the reprise of that theme here.

Himiko:  “Th-That’s right! We’re not gonna just be fiction!”

You already aren’t! Your lives and your thoughts are already real; screw those assholes out there who don’t seem to be able to realise that! Shuichi’s whole speech just now is lovely because it’s so true in an out-universe sense, but it doesn’t even need to become true in an in-universe sense to justify their lives being real and having meaning.

The only level on which it does matter in-universe is with the fact that they’re going to die. By changing people and continuing to have an influence on the world, it’ll mean their deaths won’t have been for nothing, just like those of their friends weren’t.

Maki:  “Shuichi, you can change this world. Because… you’re Kaito’s sidekick.”

It’s still adorable to see Maki putting so much weight on Kaito’s belief in people. She knows now that those weren’t just empty words of his and that he really did believe in people because they genuinely did have that potential to be amazing. It’s just, dammit, Maki Roll, you’re his sidekick too! Kaito believed in you just as much as he believed in Shuichi!

Also I love that she’s using present tense. Once Kaito’s sidekick, always Kaito’s sidekick, even after he’s gone! And even though Kaito himself would say that the people who don’t need him any more only used to be his sidekicks, evidently his sidekicks themselves don’t see it that way.

(They still need the memory of Kaito, though. They’re always going to need that. His legacy is never going to be forgotten.)

…

And now for a huge emotional whiplash from all this passionate positivity as we move into the worst minigame segment of any trial ever. Oh boy do I have a fucking rant for you about this Argument Armament and how absolutely terrible it is.

First off, let’s talk gameplay mechanics. I usually really enjoy rhythm games. I like to think I’m decently good at them. But this one? I equipped the skill which doubles my health at the beginning of this trial solely for this minigame, and I needed it to survive, even with all the other things I had on that also made this minigame easier. Is it because this is a really difficult rhythm game that challenged even someone like me who’s pretty good at them? No, it’s because it’s barely a fucking rhythm game at all.

Problem one: every regular Argument Armament has music that has a very clear, distinct beat to it, making the rhythm easy to keep up with and the notes easy to hit so long as you’re paying attention. But for some stupid reason, this one has completely different music in which the beat is very subtle and difficult to keep track of, especially when it gets faster and especially when those morons in the audience are yelling so loudly that it drowns out most of the music. So that’s thing one which makes it difficult in an unfair way that’s antithetical to the point of rhythm games.

Problem two: every regular Argument Armament also does a rather neat thing of making which buttons you need to press feel intuitive by having it so that the positioning of the words on the screen is always in relation to the position of the button you need to press on the controller. This makes things a lot easier to keep up with for people unfamiliar with their controller’s button layout (like me, as I hardly ever play any PlayStation games). The first couple of sections of this trial’s Argument Armament do that too, but around the point where those idiots all start mindlessly yelling “Hope! Despair! Hope! Despair!”, it deliberately throws that out the window, and the buttons you’re supposed to press on the controller suddenly have no positional correlation with where the words are on the screen. So if you’re not instinctively familiar with your version’s controller button layout, god help you.

Which means that at that point, I’m desperately trying to remember where each button is within a split second in order to press it in time with a beat I can barely even fucking hear. Suddenly, instead of being a rhythm game, this section has instead become a non-stop series of incredibly fast quick-time events. That is never a good thing at the best of times and especially not what I want in a Danganronpa minigame, which have all up until now required at least some level of actual skill that isn’t just reflexes and controller familiarity.

This is a completely unreasonable spike in difficulty that required me to both use the temporary easy-mode of Fever Time, which I never needed before, and have a health extension, which I never needed before, just to not get a game over here, having never even come close to getting one for the entire rest of the game. Who thought this was a good idea. Who playtested this section and decided this was totally challenging in a fair way and definitely not bullshit fake difficulty that’d have people tearing their hair out in frustration, suddenly hating the game whose story they were in theory supposed to be loving more than ever in these final moments.

…Which brings me onto the narrative side of things, because even putting the gameplay aside, even if this really was a fun and legitimately challenging rhythm game that I could get behind, this does not work narratively at all.

As I’ve gleefully talked about before for the actually-good Argument Armaments, the point of them is supposed to be that the subject already knows they’re wrong, either because they’re the culprit or because they already know that the person they want to believe in is the culprit and just can’t face it. The words that Shuichi has to shoot down in the rhythm minigame represent their desperate attempts to distract Shuichi and stop him from getting any words in edgeways to be able to conclusively prove what they already know is true. That’s why, at the end, once he’s pushed through all of that, all Shuichi needs is a single sentence of proof to break them down.

And that could have worked here, if this audience had been comprised of vaguely reasonable people! Like I’ve been trying to build up in the past few posts, a far better way to write this part of the story would be to show the in-universe audience behaving essentially like a relatable audience of fiction, albeit one that engages in some very fervent cognitive dissonance in order to wilfully ignore the fact that they’ve always been watching real people die. Which would mean that they already know what they’re doing is wrong, and those viewers that haven’t been persuaded by Shuichi yet simply still don’t want to admit it, even now that they’ve become the explicit villain of this story. After all, admitting that you’ve been an awful person, that all of those deaths are partly on you, and that to make up for it you first need to give up your favourite show for good but even then that would barely begin to be enough, would be difficult to accept for a lot of people.

I wish that was what this was. But oh my god, is it really, really not.

“I’m not here for a damn lecture!”

“Preachy characters are so annoying!”

Lines such as these could, potentially, if done right, sound like desperate deflections from people who know they’re wrong and don’t want to accept it. But in the context of everything else that’s being said, and with the way they’re delivered, these are clearly people who genuinely believe they are correct to say that Shuichi has no right to be trying to change their minds, because Shuichi’s not a real person anyway.

“Is Danganronpa really gonna end???”

“You can’t just end it out of the blue like this!”

“We want more of the killing game!”

“There’s no way they’d let it end like this, right?”

These comments from near the end are some that could vaguely sound like some kind of deflection – people trying to distract themselves from the knowledge that they’re being awful by clinging to the “no but I don’t want my show to end!” even though they know full well by now that it should. But this doesn’t seem to be how these are meant to be read in this context, either. Their tone just sounds rather too entitled, like they still genuinely believe they deserve to get more killing games after all this.

“Well, hopefully there’s another season…”

Especially with this. That should be the least of everyone’s worries right now! Try thinking more about the fact that you’ve been awful fucking people!

Which is really what this would need to be about in order for this to work. The majority of comments should be directly addressing the bigger issue: that they all know and just don’t want to accept that they’re in the wrong. A lot of people should be saying things like, “We’re not the bad guys, are we?”, or something like “But it’s just fiction so it’s okay, right?”, in a tone that makes it very clear they’re in denial and know that it’s not fiction and it’s not okay and they are the bad guys here.

“Who cares if they die, they’re not real!”

Instead, this is the only statement we get along the lines of “it’s just fiction so it’s okay”, and this is clearly not said out of any kind of desperate denial. Whoever said this genuinely thinks their lives don’t matter even now.

The rest of the audience here seems to think along the same lines, because the majority of the comments we get for most of this poor excuse for an Argument Armament is just stuff to the effect of “ugh I hate where this story is going, give me a better ending!”. That should not be the point any more! They should be perfectly aware by now, if still on a level they’re unwilling to properly accept, that this isn’t about their own superficial whims for their entertainment; it’s about people’s goddamn lives, and so who cares whether they get entertained or not!

(And have I mentioned that they still should be enjoying the story that’s actually happening more than any of their hope nonsense.)

So, since this audience that we’re being presented with here clearly does not know on any level that they’re in the wrong, we have a fundamental problem with our Argument Armament. Instead of simply shooting down desperate deflections in order to tell them something they really already know, Shuichi is trying to actively persuade them of something they don’t currently believe. That is not something that was ever going to be appropriate for an Argument Armament, because all Shuichi actually does in these is yell a single sentence – sure, this time it’s multiple sentences, but that’s hardly any better. And every one of the sentences you have Shuichi yell is something that he’s already said earlier in the trial. Again, they should already know this, yet because they evidently somehow don’t, this approach should not be able to change a thing.

Shuichi should have needed to do a lot more than simply yell a handful of sentences at everyone to be able to persuade them, at least as the audience is being presented here. If he is supposed to have canonically done something more than that, then really we should have seen that in order to be able to buy that he succeeded, rather than have it be swallowed up by game mechanics. (After all, it’s not like he literally played a so-called “rhythm” game.)

And another thing is, Shuichi in particular really isn’t someone you’d think would be more notably capable of persuading the audience than anyone else. He’s amazing when it comes to detective work, sure, but he was never established to be someone especially good at persuading people to change their minds on an emotional level when logical proof isn’t going to work. That’s a job that’d be more suited to someone like Kaito, or Kaede!

But… even Kaito knew when to back down from trying to get through to someone because it wasn’t going to work. He eventually gave up on getting through to Kokichi after having tried for the entirety of chapter 4, upon realising with the way that trial ended that Kokichi was never going to accept help and be willing to change. Kaito also never even tried in the first place to get through to Monokuma, or the mastermind, and talk them out of this killing game, because that was very evidently pointless from the start.

So, I think if Kaito was here, and if he was reacting realistically to this awful mess of an audience (which, let’s face it, no-one has quite been doing, because the out-universe writers apparently don’t realise how terrible their depiction of the audience is), he’d be able to tell immediately that this is a lost cause. Kaito could only ever use his luminary powers to influence people who wanted to change, and these assholes clearly do not want to do that.

The problem, going back to just Shuichi, is this: if the audience still doesn’t even see Shuichi and his friends as being real people with lives and worth, if they can’t even acknowledge that Shuichi is a human being with the potential to have a valid point, they are never going to even listen to his argument and consider that he might have a valid point in the first place, no matter how much of one he has.

“This guy shoulda died instead of Kaede!”

This asshole, for example, literally thinks Shuichi should be dead. Therefore Shuichi is not a person of any worth at all, therefore there’s no need to listen to anything he’s saying.

“Hey, what about little miss assassin’s punishment!?”

“Just kill each other already!”

“Death is the point of Danganronpa!”

And these idiots just mindlessly want everyone to die. (I am especially in-universely infuriated and revolted by the one that seems to combine this with the “hurr durr schoolgirl assassin hot” and would apparently enjoy watching her die for that reason, ugh no fuck off you disgusting monster you don’t deserve to even see Maki ever in your life.) Because the only fun part of this story to these assholes is everyone being horribly killed, apparently? Inhuman monsters like this are never going to listen to reason! They literally just murdered Keebo for their own pathetic one-dimensional whims of how this story should end! If they can’t even understand that death is bad, even fictional deaths, we have a fundamental roadblock to our persuasion here!

Keebo’s body:  “… …”

Himiko:  “What… just happened?”

What just happened is that Shuichi did something that should have been literally, actually impossible.

And, see, the thing about Kaito’s catchphrase is that he’s not really talking about things that are literally impossible. He’s talking about things that seem impossible to you, because maybe you don’t have enough confidence in yourself, or you don’t have the skills and strength you’d need just yet. But they’re not inherently impossible if you’re willing to put in enough effort to get there. And the first step of that is letting yourself believe that it could actually be possible after all, so that you can bring yourself to put in that effort and make it so.

I’d love it if that was what this was – it’s what it ought to be, to truly honour Kaito after Shuichi invoked his words for this – but it isn’t. This should not have been possible, at all. Not with this audience that we’ve seen here, and definitely not in the way that Shuichi apparently managed to do it.

---

[Next post]

[sage-nebula]

What do you think 'went wrong' with the ShiRep? The Galra wanted him to escape as part of their plan, but as far as his Dickery, do you think it is an intentional tactic to sabotage Voltron from the inside or did the clone just come out 'bad'/ooc because they couldn't replicate everything about Shiro? This has been on my mind because I want to sympathize with ShiRep, but he's. Making. It. Hard. (I guess the other question is do the creators WANT us to feel bad for him, anyway, lol)

Well, you actually pretty much talked about it, I just had to tag search. XD But if you have anything additional to add, please do tell!

Haha, yeah—for those interested, I discuss it in this post.

I’m honestly not sure. Like I said in the linked post, I’m not sure what direction the Voltron crew is going in when it comes to Shireplica. I’m not sure if they’re going the “everything about him was programmed” route, or the “we programmed his memories but couldn’t program anything else” route, or what. The most I can say is that right now, he seems to lack compassion. Whatever the reason for it is, I get the vibe from him that even though he knows he should care, logically, he doesn’t actually feel any of it. He spares the two rebels who find him because he needs their help to get back to Team Voltron, not because he wouldn’t fight or take them out if necessary. He gives his non-apology to Keith and tries to smooth things over not because he actually cares (because if he actually cared, he wouldn’t “apologize” for Keith making him be hurtful), but because he needs to get a certain emotional response from Keith (namely, he wants Keith to stop being upset, and particularly to stop being potentially upset with him). I think that, from a logical standpoint, Shireplica knows that he should care because, thanks to Shiro’s memories, he knows that Keith is someone he cares about and is (supposed to be) close with. But there’s a difference between knowing something in your head, and feeling that in your heart, and I don’t think Shireplica feels it. I don’t think he has the emotions necessary behind his memories, and I don’t think he has the compassion necessary to make decisions moving forward. The fact that he shouted at Keith to let Voltron take the hit from Acxa, more or less sacrificing the entire team (at least to injury even if not death), and did so without blinking proves as much. That sort of “hard choice” is not one that the real Shiro would have made. (Add to that, the real Shiro would never treat Keith like such garbage, and yet …)

So he clearly lacks compassion and empathy, but there’s no way of knowing why this is right now. It’s possible that he lacks compassion because the Galra programmed him this way. It might be an attempt to sabotage the team, but it could also be because they’re trying to re-create The Champion, and what better way to create a perfect warrior than by creating one who doesn’t have compassion and therefore won’t show his enemies mercy? If they intentionally left out a capacity for compassion, that could be the motivation, too.

On the other hand, it might have been a mistake. Perhaps Shireplica left before the cloning process was complete. Perhaps the Galra simply don’t know how to also program compassion in—maybe they thought the memories would do that well enough. We really just don’t know; it’s far too early to say, and the same goes for whether or not we’re supposed to find him sympathetic. I think that what we’re supposed to think right now is that this is the real Shiro, and therefore at the moment, we should be sympathizing … but then again, he acts so OoC that it’s hard for me to think that anyone would think he’s real, aside from perhaps little kids watching the show. The real Shiro would just not act like that. I don’t see how people don’t see it.

So that said, I’m not sure how we’re supposed to feel about Shireplica yet, either. I know how I feel about him, but I’m kind of used to having contrary opinions, so. I’m not sure what DreamWorks is going for right now, but whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll be biting my nails even after I finish watching S4 in October, haha.

[knightofbalance-13]

Volume 4 Commentary Counter to Counter

https://rerwby.tumblr.com/post/161522494149/rwby-volume-4-commentary-play-by-play

Yes, like anyone whose opinion matters wants to hear the whiney, egotistical  creator of the third rate, cliché, poorly written version of RWBY bitch about how the people who are actually talented and capable of producing a product that has more to offer than Gen RWBZed.

I’d say the whole volume was a fuck-you shot to the fans but

But you know you’ll get called out on your bullshit seeing as the ratings for Volume 4 are above Volumes 1 and 2 and the only negative things we’v e heard outside of RWDE is a couple of minor issues qand the usuqal “Yang doesn’t get enough screentme.”

And you’re not one to talk: RE:RWBY is just a giant Fuck You shot to the real RWBY and just writing in general.

I’m leaning towards believing this since Salem was one of the first things conceived for the show, so her team would follow. Makes you wonder if Miles was always gonna have his “crazy” Tyrian though or if that came later. I doubt it because I don’t believe Monty would make characters as boring as Hazel and Watts right from the start.

Gee, it’s almost as though those characters have been on screen for a total of five minutes a piece and thus not enough time to be developed and thus you are being a nitpicky douche for making judgements so earlier so you can bitch.

Yeah it’s not breaking news to say that they did the opposite of what would be a good idea. Mentioned in the commentary, but in more detail in the special features, is the fact that CRWBY had a rough start to the volume due to the new production pipeline, which continued for several episodes.

You know, the most common compliant with Oscar was he didn’t get enough screentime to develop his struggle with Ozpin and thus moving him up to Episode 4 is an improvement over the original plan of 7. Of course, it’s not breaking news for RWDE to sabatoge the show just to complain more: That’s like a third of their Modius Operande.

And at least RWBY is original: the one creative license to your name isn’t even an attempt at being original with you badly copying and pasting RWBY onto a screen with what little you do change to make it objectively worse.

Wondering how they would have fit 4 whole monsters in that fight, but I guess that’s why they ended up splitting two bad guys between teams instead.

Oh but Re:RWBY, you just said they don’t do good ideas so that should have happened!

Yeah, see what your bitching does: invalidates what little you have to say nice to show you flip flop like a limp pancake.

Just saying that I believe this. They said that Roman originally played a smaller part in Volume 1? How was this possible? Insert more villains.

And this is worth jackshit...how? is it a crack at the writers? if so, it’s even worse than normal. Is this an observation? Then this belongs under the category of “No shit, Sherlock.”

So Weiss fought a Grimm in her trailer it turns out. Idk how to feel about that. In a way it makes sense because, as we’ve seen with Winter’s summons, the Schnee summons are light versions of Grimm. It makes little sense though when you consider that the Geist inhabits inanimate things and therefore the armor isn’t a natural feature of the Grimm.

Gee, did the fact that she could summon the fucker not tip you off?

And the very commentary points out that the Geists are named after what they inhabit (AKA Petra Geist) so it seems like whatever they inhabit because a Grimm by extension.

Iunno what fatal flaw to focus on here. Is it how this makes it sound like Jaune’s god damn weapon model design was THAT important that Kerry noticed? That it implies melting Pyrrha’s armor down was a last-minute thought? That the plot hole of Pyrrha fucking disintegrating and therefore leaving no armor or cape for Jaune was made entirely because Kerry liked how a shield looked?

Hey RE;RWBY? Know what a storyboard is? Obviously not considering you would know that a storyboard is made RIGHT AFTER they basic writing and thus NOT LAST MINUTE.

So instead of losing it for a reason they just lose it for the sake of it. Cool.

Sort of how Pyrrha can’t understand what jaune was going through in volume 1.

Or how Neptuen and Sun got thrown out of the fight in Voume 2.

Or how no one noticed how old Cinder was in Volume 3.

Or any number of innumerable so-called “plot holes” that shoud have logically booted you out of here a long time ago.

The name kind of gave it away without any other hints

Not really: I never got it. I just thought it was a word for betrayal.

Wow. The people working on this show were seriously so disillusioned that they thought Pyrrha’s relationship with Jaune earned that kind of reaction. Not even gonna mention how the existence of the recording makes no sense, especially since Pyrrha signs off on it. Why would she do that on a generic fighting guide. I can’t believe how attached these people were to the Alpha Hets.

Or, you know.... IT WAS A CHARACTER THEY GOT ATTACHED TO. KIND OF LIKE THE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WHO CRIED WHEN SHE DIED.

And why does their sexuality have anything to do with how their suffering causes pain in people capable of feeling empathy? Are you saying that people should care about people if their heterosexual? Or are you saying that they only cared about Pyrrha because she was heterosexual?

If A then you are a heterophobe and thus any you say about sexuality should be immediately disregarded. if B then that's offensive to at least Lindsay and Arryn who are LGBT and work at RT.

can’t say anything more than what’s been said on this.

Except maybe a list of what they did right and what they did wrong OBJECTIVELY like a REAL critic would do?

She seemed pretty cruel to me lol. They need to have Salem do more before they announce these kinds of intentions, because now they’ve just given us a preconceived notion and they won’t have to write it that way.

Gee, it’s almost as though Salem is the fucking BIG BAD and thus the GREATEST EVIL IN RWBY. And considering she was protecting CInder from her colleagues taunts and was gently pushing Cinder to improve, she has the motherly side as well. She has done enough: You just wanna bitch considering you cannot grasp the concept of a Big Bad.

This might be the stupidest thing I’ve ever read.

Considering this is the author of Re:RWBY and “Alpha Hets”: That’s a lie.

ANd they do this type of thing in anime all the time. It’s even a real life ocurrance so a commonplace and even factually correct is the stupdiest thing you’ve read? Guess you don’t read much then.

Wow! Joel and Burnie, two voice acting veterans who formed RT, are invested in their roles? Don’t get too shocked by actors who actually try, guys!

Well, you heard that right Miles, Kerry, Linsday, Barbara, Arryn and Vic: You all suck and you should all quit your jobs because one person is an ingrateful little shit.

Blah blah magical mystical Asia land

1. So does that mean the entirety of Avatar was “Blah blah magical Asian land”? Good to know Re;RWBY.

2. gee, I wonder who the creator of RWBY was? Oh right, Monty Oum, an Asian of four nationalities. So uh, pretty sure your the racist here.

Can you imagine if we had to see RNJR somehow not notice Qrow like twenty feet away from them? Thank god he sat in that pub across the street.

Ever heard of a cloak or disguise? Also, you’re bitching about them doing something right again.

I mean iunno that scene didn’t scream emotional to me but I also have daddy issues so

Well that explains the misgyony and bias against males. Also: we get it: you have about as much of a soul as Flowey. You don’t need to remind us.

Makes you wonder if by the time of their conception, Faunus were a thing or if Monty was just making up furry OC’s.

And we should give two shits... why?

Jfc guys went kinda overboard there. Didn’t look like 100+ when I watched it.

CRWBY: *Does hard work*

Re:RWBY: *Bitches about hard work not meeting their expectations*

Good to know this is fine: I’ll start publicly launching the reasons why you suck as a writer directly at you form now on.

That’s about what I guessed yep. Now is there a reason for it to be Neptune? To show that Weiss grew past her affection towards him? Or because it was the first person who came to mind? Who knows.

Number 1. Because it shows character development. Oh wait, I’m expecting a RWDE poster to understand good writing.  Sorry, big mistake there.

I remember when capes were in Kingdom Hearts. Then they realized they were too much work so they removed them to avoid continuity errors and such. It was a smart and humble move, because the capes looked cool. I guess Tyrian’s jacket was just really that awesome though.

Any problems with Tyrian’s jacket? No? Then this is a bitch to bitch point.

Just gonna keep reminding us of that huh guys?

And you’re just gonna keep bring it up huh?

well that is a legitimately very interesting fact

And now you provide one...

Best decision they ever made, thank god. I love the idea of Miles being all modest and going “ah yes time to be mature.”

Who wants to bet they’ll ruin this soon?

The RWBY writers struggling with exposition?

There it is: Less that and more making it not sound like exposition.

And it was made known that Miles conceived one of the worst parts of the entire story. And he just copied it from a Grimm Tale.

Not gonna mention how everyone (including YOU) said Miles mad eit up on the spot and got totally contradicted?

And it’s (SHOCK) RWBY takes inspiration from Fairy Tales.

Also: I didn't know Miles wrote in the Maidens.

Isn’t this why you, like, direct your scenes? To avoid miscommunication like that?

Did he say it was bad or just shocked? Oh wait, you won’t tell us because it might contradict your bitching.

Apparently the animation crew’s passion is graphic design.

Aren’t you a fan of Studio Trigger? Wouldn't that be obvious?

Again, directing.

RWBY chibi, Camo Camp, mentoring the new writer for Red Vs Blue.

They had a lot on their plate.

Idk how to feel about this but it is kind of disturbing that Miles would be so quick to make that joke.

Wanna know what’s more disturbing? SHowing zero empathy and an absolute lack of self awareness. Wanna know what that looks like? Look in the mirror.

guessed everyone who knows of overwatch’s existence

No shit Sherlock.

That probably would have made some sense.

And I’m guessing that here they said they didn’t have time and you choose to ignore that for the sake of bitching right?

So Lancaster gets shot down completely, cool. Cool thing of a creator to do. How dare we imply Ruby and Jaune are close after all they’ve been through.

Gee, it’s almost as though a certain part of the fandom will send death threats and verbally abuse and terrorize the crew for heterosexuality.

Yeah I bet Miles loved Tyrian.

And I bet that’s an insult.

Pretty sure Sun’s torso is a tube with the new models.

Yes, that clearly rectangular shape is a cylindrical tube.

God, what is left for Qrow to reveal? We got his weapon’s forms, his Semblance, his transforming thing, what else? Tbh my bet’s on Ozpin’s cane. They planned for him to use the cane but decided against it because of their artifact bullshit.

Salem’s origins, the history of the Headmasters secrets behind Ozpin, bandits, Raven, STRQ.

And said bullshit was planned whereas the Maidens whom you’ve said nothing about wasn’t. Yeah, between your failure at writing, your failure at basic empathy, your failure at self awareness and your failure at basic fact comprehension you just spent all this time making a complete ass of yourself.

[emptymanuscript]

Time Matters

So, I’m trying to watch this video on Twin Peaks... but it’s 4&1/2 hours long so my commitment is iffy. Actually iffy is a lot of how I feel about it more than an hour in. But one in particular thing is leaping out at me right now because I make creative content that I think may not be as meaningful to those who don’t make fiction except where it is convenient as explanation. And it is that:

Time matters. 

I know stupid simple, right. But as the video I am watching is using season 3, that came out in 2017, to explain basic things about the show which began in 1990. 

A show, a book, or a book series is meant to constitute a singular whole as best as possible but... Time Matters. 

While every creator and set of creators do things a little differently, this truth is fundamental to the mechanics of creation. As I struggle to get The Lights of Other Lives functional, that process and much of the baggage that makes it difficult can’t make sense without understanding that the LOL of now started as a part in a project originally titled “Cthulhu Calling” that I began working on during my Christmas Vacation in 2006.

The initial idea of Cthulhu Calling (meant to be said in a happy tone like “Avon Calling” with the newest styles of makeup that you’re going to just love, this was just amazing new ways straight from the factory to go insane and die) was solid and I had great collaborators so that the story was able to naturally expand into an epic, even though that wasn’t my original intention. And so my collaborators and I made the decision in 2008 to try and turn it into books. Six years later, in 2015, The Hidden and the Maiden, the first story made from the Cthulhu Calling plotline came out. 

But here’s the issue of Time. The original Cthulhu Calling project, by that time renamed to The Knights of Day, also wrapped up in 2015. Part of what made H&M work was knowing how KOD ended. Decisions I made for making H&M were based on conclusions drawn from the wrap up of KOD. Story beats were based on non-linear information due to the fact that H&M was being written so much later. What to emphasize, what to de-emphasize, what to rewrite entirely were all a product of the passage of Time. 

Even where I started was affected. H&M wasn’t the first storyline back when Cuthlhu Calling started. It was the fourth. Fundamental elements now going into LOL actually preceeded the H&H storyline. But BECAUSE OF TIME H&M was clearly the better place to start because, of all the early story lines and stories that could make sense if placed early on, it had the most resonance with how I at that time could see KOD was heading inevitably toward at the end. Time made me make different decisions than I did in 2007-8.

And it’s an issue now. The order of stories was concieved of in 2008 - 2009. The essentials of LOL was conceived in 2014 or so. But I, in 2019, have had plenty of more life lived since then. I not only don’t see the world in entirely the same way, I don’t write in entirely the same way as I did then. I have written hundreds of thousands of words since then and that makes a difference. 

So, if someone were to try to use elements in LOL to explain story elements in H&M, they would be right in the connection but I don’t think you can ignore the arrow of time and discount the order of events. What I decide to put in to LOL is based on all my decisions in prior work. LOL though, even though I wrote H&M with every intention of LOL’s essential story line coming next, cannot accurately be considered a basis of information for the interpretation of H&M. Even what I put into LOL to draw intentionally on H&M is based on my thoughts subsequent to H&M. The information in LOL is necessarily influenced by H&M rather than influencing it. 

My thoughts on KOD 12 years after I started, less time than the time elapsed between Twin Peaks Season 2 and 3, are what I am necessarily referencing now. Every change of mind. Every change of emphasis. Every change in artistic sensibility. That doesn’t mean I don’t want a reader to reinterpret the events of H&M in LOL’s light. It just means you can’t trust information in LOL to acurately represent what I “really meant” back then. 

And I feel the same way about Twin Peaks. I am happy to interpret the 3 seasons as a whole and make a single story out of it. But because Time Matters, I can’t accept information from season 3 as evidence for something in season 1 to show what Lynch really meant back then. I have no doubt that the two are related and that what is in season 3 is meant to be the latest interpretation of the same facts but if you need season 3 to make it make sense - then it is evidence for the whole, created anew when new pieces are added - it is not a reliable indication of the thought process that went into the earlier part. Artists change. 

And when you are trying to interpret and finagle the deep story out of material, whatever that material might be, I encourage you to keep the same thought in mind. What comes later, from the Doylist perspective, is commentary on rather than support for what came earlier. Because Time Matters to the process of creation.