#those two things aren't rly connected

[relaxxattack]

Hi i want to thank you for the QPR vs Moirail venn diagram. Its a rly excellent way of showing the difference. My gripe is about human romance, and how people will either 1- conflate it in a 1:1 ratio with Matesprit, or 2- claim it is “all the quadrants”. I personally feel both are false equivalency, and that the human romance is similar to both pale and red rom* and SO i was wondering if you agreed w that assessment, or if not, if you have the time to explain your thoughts on human traditional romance vs the quadrants (perhaps w another nifty graph)?

* which is why Rose’s destructive tendencies during sburb & her descent into addiction on the meteor were not addressed by kanaya, who feared palezoning herself like she did with vriska

OH MY GOD! YES!!!! why am i getting such great asks today?!

no, you're EXACTLY right. people are constantly conflating matespritship in those two ways; "all of the quadrants" being especially irritating (since Some humans occasionally argue, Occasionally in a kinky way, and i guess that means that they totally have all of kismesissitude covered?? :/).

matespritship is its very own thing. of the two interpretations above, i feel the idea that it's 1:1 to human romance is the closest to true. i mean, that's what they literally say in the comic, for gog's sake.

humans do not truly incorporate moirallegiance, kismesissitude, or auspisticism into their lives in any meaningful way. while it's possible for humans to sometimes have romances that might seem more like one of those than matespritship, they're considered abnormal or toxic-- and they often ARE, because humans do not have the same sort of biological drives or social understanding of these things that trolls do. humans do not understand the true needs and ramifications, or even the ROMANCE of moirallegiance. humans would be hard pressed to understand a kismesissitude in a 'healthy' way. i don't even need to mention how auspisticism flies over people's heads.

so, yes, humans only have the one quadrant. (and karkat vantas, i am sorry to say, is not going to "human date" anyone as the "solution to his quadrant problems". this would literally be the same as him trying to stick only to matespritship, and we all know exactly how that turned out.)

however! matespritship is not an exact 1:1 on human romance either. the direct quote from the comic is;

"[It's] the closest parallel to the human concept of romance trolls have." [x]

this is not really expanded on much in the text, honestly-- the intricacies of the social and biological traits of matespritship aren't shown enough for us to draw clear distinctions between them and human romance.

however, i think you're right that rose and kanaya are the best example we have of that-- despite them both aiming for matespritship, they have cultural misunderstanding quite often from some of rose's flirting, or even just her needs, crossing wires into a pale threshold that kanaya is weary of.

it's entirely possible that the differences between troll and human "hearts" might have made it difficult for kanaya to really connect with rose's problems and discuss them with her.

which might explain why when things go "better" for them in the retcon, they're portrayed reading a book on troll romance together:

it could be implied here that searching for a more in-depth understanding of quadrants actually helped rose with her ability to connect to kanaya-- and maybe, reading into it a little too hard here, this also could have been an opportunity for kanaya to work through her vriska-based hangups with the pale quadrant. that's entirely speculation on my part, though.

at the end of the day, we don't really KNOW enough about the details of quadrants for me to paint a clear picture of how matespritship differs from human romance. i mean, i could try, but it would certainly be more of a headcanon post than an analysis one!

[dissociacrip]

this is okay to rb i think, especially if you have anything to add or any insight. idk. i'm tagging this the way that i am because i'm seeking community/connection(tm) or something

hypotonia is not like. a rare thing. not really. but i do remember my OT googling what it was.

low muscle tone/hypotonia may technically be a symptom rather than a diagnosis (barring benign congenital hypotonia, which afaik is controversial) but it's the closest thing to a "diagnosis" i've been given for some of this stuff because the potential cause of it hasn't been investigated and i guess it's not exactly urgent since my particular case isn't severe and doesn't seem progressive (hypotonia can be progressive & is involved in some progressive and degenerative conditions.)

but i wish it was talked about more and i wish more was known about it works and how it affects bodily function and i wish what we DO know about it was more accessible to the public when it comes to those who suffer from it. it's also kinda hard whether to KNOW you have it or not since its "signs" have so much overlap with other conditions that aren't related to muscle tone. it ranges a lot in severity too. and there's two different types (central and peripheral.) it's linked to dozens of diagnoses too which is why i say it's not uncommon.

but also i guess due to the complexity of how it affects the body and its lack of distinctiveness with most of its symptoms makes it kinda...hard to talk about? and i imagine w/ some people it's hard to distinguish the effects of hypotonia vs. their other problems. issues with chewing, writing, breathing, speaking, posture, coordination, etc. can be due to so many different things ranging from mental to physical. but it's not always something that can be lumped together w/ those other things because there's "my muscles don't work" in a terms of chronic muscular pain vs. "my muscles don't work" in terms of, like, they lack the ability to adequately support the body and bodily movement. if that makes any sense.

which ranges from someone like me where having to hold myself up sucks + mild motor skill/coordination impairments and mild developmental milestone delays, but others never meet those milestones or need assistance with things like breathing and ingesting food.

it's not a diagnosis but it can affect the body in complex ways like muscle shortening and stiffness due to our bodies having to compensate in weird ways for the lack of adequate tone (esp those of us who grew up with it), tibial torsion and femoral anteversion, flatfoot and knock-knees, reduced cervical lordosis sometimes leading to bruxism and occipital headaches, etc. PT centered around muscle strengthening to correct my "improper" movement and stuff.

and there's other stuff that can come with it that people like to consider """gross""" like drooling, constipation and other gastric, and pelvic floor dysfunction which can result in incontinence/problems with bladder control. muscles are involved in a lot of things. wild.

i'm rambling but i just wish more people talked about it. all i really have is that one interview that surestep did with meagan veracha, who has hypotonic cerebral palsy, about living with hypotonia as an adult.

maybe i wouldn't care all that much if i had a diagnosis that would "explain it" but "i might have gHSD/hEDS" doesn't rly do that for me because ppl in those communities obviously focus a lot on the joint dysfunction aspect (because those 2 conditions center around hypermobile joints so that's just natural, it's not a bad thing per-se, barring other problems that those communities have) but for me my case of symptomatic generalized hypermobility is secondary in how it impacts me vs. my muscles being bad at their job and my hypermobility might even be secondary to my hypotonia anyway.

dyspraxia/DCD (some people with it have hypotonia but not all - i thought i had it before i was told i was identified as having hypotonia when i was a kid...over two decades late) is another guess but again that centers more around coordination than things like "anything other than lying in bed is hard on me because my muscles don't support my body like they're supposed to."

maybe muscle tone is a complex medical concept that shouldn't really enter the public lexicon but i have no other language for it.

[feekins]

here are my thoughts and things and whatever translation weirdness I find as I re-read ch 3 of Trigun Maximum vol 6!

(NOTE: I'm reading the Dark Horse [physical] and the Overhaul [online] translations side-by-side)

(Dark Horse on left, Overhaul on right)

another example of how nuanced the Overhaul's translation is =u=

so these translation discrepancies alter my perspective of this bit. Dark Horse's unspecified "you" (which I always interpreted as something more general, so similar in meaning to "all of you") VS the Overhaul's "you, Crimsonnail"...and the differences between the "All the obstacles" speech bubbles has me all 🤨...and again, the nuance in the Overhaul's translation gives emphasis in places and hsrhfjxh idk, words hard. OVERHAUL GOOD.

also, I love the little bit of visual/narrative trickery with Legato mentioning (in the next panel) how the Eye of Michael's sending these guys, "Double Fang" and "Trip of Death"...

...and then showing us these two - and bc they aren't named yet, the impulse (at least for me) is to assume they are, in fact, these "Double Fang" and "Trip of Death" fellas!

the Overhaul's specific usage of "disciples" clearly connects this old man's group to "the church of plant worshippers" Legato mentions a few pages later - so they're not, like...just a bunch of rando Knives stans? which is what I get from Dark Horse's translation.

...I just noticed the middle panel. see those spikey dealies some of these dudes have on them? they've got my anthropologist brain working. I wonder if spikes like that are...idk, visual call-backs to Knives' knife-y abilities...perhaps regarded as religious symbolism the same way Christians might regard a crown of thorns... 🤔

also, to me, Dark Horse's translation implies that Knives deliberately ignores this group of devotees - which definitely sounds in-character for him. the Overhaul's usage of "yet" could be taken to mean the same thing - OR perhaps Knives isn't aware of all the different groups (denominations?) of the church of plant worshippers and he doesn't care. that also tracks.

(Dark Horse on top, Overhaul on bottom)

nuanced Overhaul translation yaaaaay 🎉

oh, and right after this panel, Legato says in Dark Horse's translation "Rumor has it...these two are the best in the bunch" and, in the Overhaul's translation "The two on their way here...are said to be the best in the world." at this point, those two fellas on the motorcycle are still unnamed, and so it's still reasonable to assume Legato's talking about them...UNTIL...

...yeah, idk why Dark Horse leaves out their names here. even more baffling, though...

...is how Dark Horse fking omits Ogre starting to say "Double Fang" and alters the shape of the speech bubble on the next page.

I just rly like these panels of Elendira reapplying her lipstick 💕

...yeah, Dark Horse's translation here has always confused tf out of me. Overhaul to the rescue!!!

[nicole-the-hololynx]

please nico tell me about the chao adventure games! ive never heard of them

(also its rly a shame theres no chao transfer equivalent for the ports)

yeah it's a real shame 😔

Anyways on the Chao Adventure games!! there's two of these, Chao Adventure for Sonic Adventure and Chao Adventure 2 for Sonic Adventure 2 (simple!)

Most of my experience is with the first Chao Adventure, so that's the one I will focus on. Chao Adventure 2 is similar but I'm not familiar enough with it to comment much. Don't assume anything here applies there.

Chao Adventure is a game you can download into your VMU which lets you take one of your Chao around with you! It's kind of like a Tamagotchi. The game mostly revolves around your Chao going on a trip. You can choose what area your Chao will go to next, and at certain spots in the map you can meet up with the SA1 cast, who will give your Chao a permanent stat bonus as a gift!

A Chao walking through a Shrine... image from Chao Island

Through the game you can battle other Chao, earn rewards such as rare fruits you can't find in the base game, and mostly just raise your Chao's stats in an environment where you don't have to worry about them aging. It's very useful for getting those Chao Race Emblems more easily!

To me the main thing that sets Chao Adventure apart from its later counterpart the Tiny Chao Garden is that your Chao is a lot more involved! Chao in this game LOVE to talk to you. They're constantly making comments, asking questions, and the like. It makes me connect more to this little virtual pet!

It also helps that thanks to both SA1 having a much simpler Chao system and the VMU itself having very simplistic graphics, your Chao tends to resemble its proper 3D model closer in this one (animal parts are still gone, but you can now see the Chao change design depending on its type, and the colors can't be off since this is a 1 bit display lol)

Look at this lovely face! 😊 Sprite ripped by UltimaNumber255

It's a fun enough game and a nice time waster, which is why I sometimes take it with me on trips :P it's a bit sad that the Tiny Chao Garden doesn't have anywhere near the same scope, but I imagine trying to do a game like this on the GBA would take up a lot more resources...

Can't end this without mentioning the two major flaws it has tho. They aren't the fault of the game, but rather seem to be inherent flaws to the VMU....

The game uses up WAY too much storage!! After installing Chao Adventure, you're only BARELY left with enough storage for the SA1 save file!! And also the VMU loves to chug through batteries. I can't really afford to keep it going for too long!! Clock batteries are also very expensive in my country so I've had to start importing them in order to keep the game on.

Still a very fun experience tho, and one I very much recommend if you can get a Dreamcast! Or if you love Tamagotchi or similar stuff! (and if you can pay for batteries...)

[noa-ciharu]

Hello! I hope it's okay to ask, but as somebody that's been CLAMP-curious for a while now, where do you think is the best place to start with their manga, specifically? (No triggers or squicks to speak of!) I've considered just going in chronological release order so I'm better able to understand all the tie-ins and references, but I'm intimidated by the sheer amount and kind of stuck in analysis paralysis, haha. I'd appreciate your insight, thank you and no pressure if you'd rather not!

Hi :D

Yea Clamp is sort of infamous for complex connections between their works but I promise situation isn't as grim as it seems. Not all mangas are connected and even if some are it's not always the "you must read xyz first or you won't understand a thing" type of situation. Also chronological order of their mangas isn't necessarily the semantically order of what's going on in their multi-verses so I defo wouldn't recommend that approach (also RG veda, their debut manga, isn't something I'd rec to beginners)

I made a badly organized graph about connections in their works. It's not 100% accurate but I don't think some side character from other manga appearing on 10 pages would cause such confusion to ruin whole experience

Let's start with Separate universes first:

Those 3 aren't all of separate universes but they are the most famous ones. For beginner I'd recommend only Magic Knight Reyrarth. It's a magical girl shojo isekai manga, some humor, romance and drama to it with nice plot twists. Nothing too heavy or hard for understanding so nice for beginners. There are 2 parts, each 3 vols long so you can check out first part to see if it's to your liking.

Universe 1:

You've probably heard of cardcaptor sakura and I've recommend it in similar fashion to magic knight rayearth (except it's even lighter and fluffier and imo better written). Ofc there's always a question of what sort of manga you're looking for, so something so fluffy and cute might not be to everyone's liking. You needn't prior knowledge of any other clamp mangas for ccs.

Tsubasa and xxxholic are whole different thing however.

Out of all clamp mangas, those are most deeply entwined; to the point where it's probably the best to read them at the same time (they were released during same period as well, 2003-2009/2010). Also characters from almost all clamp works appear in Tsubasa; but think of it as alternative universe since even if characters from let's say Clover do appear in tsubasa there's no requirement to read clover in order to understand happenings in tsubasa.

xxxholic you can read without tsubasa up to certain point, then you'd probs be confused without any references to tsubasa. All in all, those are two amazingly done mangas and I'd recommend: 1) tsubasa if you're more into adventures, plot twists, slow burn and found family trope and shonen-ly type of story 2) xxxholic if you're more into gothic josei, philosophy and deeper themes

Legal drug is sequal to Wish and those take same place in xxxholic universe but you don't need to read them to understand xxxholic. Similarly even if some of characters form xxxholic do appear in legal drug it's not rly necessarily to read xxxholic to understand it. Still I wouldn't reccomend legal drug or wish to beginners on simple principle that there are way better written clamp mangas out there

Universe 2:

I'll preface this by saying I never read Angelic Layer so I can't say anything about it rly.

Those 3 are very light mangas and definitely beginner-friendly. Some characters are shared but you won't be too confused by that so no prior knowledge required. I'd rec Chobits here. Looks can be deceiving and that's the case with that manga cuz it's way deeper than it seems ar first glance. Psychological themes along with light plot, romance, comedy and some little echii done in very vanilla way.

Universe 3:

Clamp school Detectives, Duklyon and Man of 20 faces are 3 very short (each is 2 vols long) lighthearted humor mangas. They're connected but since there's 0 serious plot it's not rly a bafflement to read one without another. They just happen to take place in same universe as Tokyo Babylon and X and reading those isn't necessary. I'd rec those 3 if you're looking for crack-y humor and a way to relax.

X is sequal to Tokyo Babylon and it spoils almost all happenings in Tokyo Babylon so I can't rly reccomend it (also it would traumatize beginner for life lol). Tokyo Babylon is social criticism tragedy drama with psychological elements added to it; as well as some comedy, drama and romance. It's 7 vols long and defo leaves a lasting impression so I'd rec it to beginners.

All in all, I'd say go with Magic Knight Reyearth, Cardcaptor sakura, xxxholic and/or Tsubasa (but if you read one read another tok cuz it'll be confusing otherwise) or Tokyo Babylon

[vanoefucks]

ok u want some for el u get some for el! for good, friendship, past, exit, first, future (sorry i rly like the last ones oops jksfhksjfas)

thank u browse!!

For Good: Is there anyone in your OC's life who had an undeniable positive impact on who they are as a person? How did knowing this person improve your OC's life?

It would probably be Roe!! They met a couple of years prior to the events of the game and she is one of his few close friends. The two met at his father's estate one night when el was storming out of the place. El had just decided to cut off all ties with his father & was dealing with a lot and Roe was able to keep him afloat. She's the one person to know who his father is and stayed with him as he tried to rebuild his life after he broke things off with his buisness partner. If he hadn't met Roe El would've fucked off to the forest where he grew up and found himself living a very isolated life that he probably wouldn't have wanted to continue so he owes her a lot. more than that though the two get on well and for once he hs a friend that isn't worried about using him for gold or his connections seeing as she has enough of her own. when they're reunited it lifts his mood a ton and gives him another reason to get the job done

Friendship: What's your OC like as a friend? How are they at making new friends? What are the most important friendships in your OC's life?

El is a good friend to those who earn it! He protects those he cares for and will do almost anything for the people he calls a friend but he's learnt the hard way that he can be too quick to trust. He's often loyal to a fault which is something he learned the hard way and has fallen victim to his friend's own ambitions in the past, enabling them to take advantage of him. He would've called the inner circle of his crew true friends until they betrayed him for some coin and power but now he has Roe & Brandy As the game goes on he slowly becomes cloest with Astarion + Shadowheart. he puts up a shield and lets the others think that they know the real him, the others aren't privy to his whole story until they reach the city.

Past: Does your OC have any past partners? How did the relationship(s) end? Are any of their exes still in their life, and if so, do they get along?

he has one (loser)! Zyl who was the brother of his ex buisness partner (Vana) . The guardian takes a form similar to the both of them as they were twins. (this wasnt fun for el to see and is very ??? to think abt when u remember el fucks the emperor in this form)

The two kept their relationship secret and somehow did for almost a decade, not wanting to complicate work but in the end it fell apart when El was betrayed. he only knew who to blame thanks to Zyl who told him and gave him info on where to find Vana. They broke up around 2 years prior to the game & as far as El knows Zyl is still somewhere in the city.

Exit: Has your OC ever had someone important leave their life in a way that was unremarkable, unintentional, or clumsy? How do they feel about it? Is there any chance they'll meet again?

Think this can be about Zyl again. Their breakup was a very quick thing. The moment Zyl told El that Vana was the one who framed him Zyl asked if it was the end of them. El said yes and left soon after that. El never tried to go looking for him after they said their goodbyes and saw him as a part of a time in his life he wanted to be over. El doesn't hold many negative feelings for Zyl but merely sees it as something that wasn't meant to work out. He realised that he didn't even really fight to keep the relationship going. It was just something that was never going to last. I might have them meet again once the group reach the city but there are others el's going to reunite with first.

First: Has your OC ever been the one to leave first? Why did they go, and who did they leave behind? Do they regret it?

The day El was taken by the mindflayers he had left Roe after an arugment. it was their biggest fight since meeting and the first time el had left something unresolved between them. it started over nothing and blew up into a huge fight that had both of them throwing things. at one point Roe used magic and El said enough was enough and left Roe's estate without another word. El didn't even get time to think about the fight until he had crashed on the beach. he spent most of his downtime over the next few days worrying about Roe and if she was safe as he was taken close to her house. it made him watch his temper but didn't stop him from snapping at the group when he got wound up. He doesnt enjoy being angry and if possible gets it out through fighting but when hes pushed over the edge its nasty and he tends to run before he does something he cant fix.

Future: Is there anyone your OC is looking forward to meeting or to seeing again? Who? What might that meeting or reunion look like?

He wants to see Brandy again. especially after finding out more about shadowheart & the shar scene in the city. as far as he knows she's still in the city but he'll end up finding her at last light. Brandy actively tries to sabotage their attempts at fixing the land surrounding moonrise and after shadowheart spares Aylin, Brandy leaves the group. El doesnt find her again until the confrontation at the sharran cloister. He also wants to pay his father a visit. because with his amount of near death experiences hes done with letting what his fathers done to him slide. at the very least he wants to have a go at the man. its not gonna go well!!

[caatws]

Looking at vol 3, at merchandise, taking in some of the conversations people are having it's not escaping me that the stories people tell matter. They have an influence on everything.

I'm prepared to be the odd man out in saying It's not Infinity War that caused the story we got in vol 3. It's not Endgame either. It's James Gunn. The ball was in his court and he dropped it. Gamora still had potential whether from the year 2014 or if she had been ressurected. Using 2014 Gamora was a chance to explore what the guardians had meant to her and her to them at one point in time, and what the ravagers mean to her and her to them currently. You could easily merge these two things and have a rich arc for Gamora that honored who she is and how powerful having family and a purpose can be. It could have shown that Gamora's ability to be more than what Thanos made her has transformed the lives of two different groups of people. All of this could have been done as a subplot while Rocket remained the Protagonist. If vol 3 had been the ensemble story vol 1 and 2 had been it would have been so easy. Instead vol 3 moved away from an ensemble to become the Rocket show. Everything that couldn't be directly linked to him or dealt with quickly while focusing on him received minimal attention. Until the end where suddenly everyone has these life changing revelations and the team disbanded. It ends up working for most of the characters because where they were ending up could still fit around Rocket's story, like Mantis taking off with creatures she just met or Nebula deciding to be responsible for kids they rescued from Rocket's abuser. It's sad because if Gunn really felt it was impossible to have vol 3 be any different he still could have done more with Gamora by connecting history of abuse to Rocket's abuse plot.

There's also a strange irony in how during vol 1 Rocket tells Drax that we all have dead people but it's not an excuse to get other people dead along the way. A whole message about how you may be the protagonist of your own life/story but that doesn't mean other people aren't important. But vol 3 ignores so much of Gamora's life. There was no room in Rocket's story for the family to collectively hurt about losing somebody else. Gamora never should have been killed in the first place but there was still a story that could have been told that did more with her than what we got.

i see where you're coming from anon! i think personally my anger will always be mostly placed toward the russos bc they started us on this messy path in the first place.

i've been an Endgame Hater(TM) since day 1 in 2019 lolll so i might be biased. like at least none of gunn's gotg media has tried to make thanos out to be a sympathetic villain or even suggested that thanos truly "loved" gamora or nebula. but i think gamora was just the biggest fumble in a series of epic fumbles the russo bros managed to make in a 5 hour long story. it's been 4 years but i could still write essays upon essays about my issues with endgame and how it also made iw worse in retrospect. like i was willing to go with the gamora storyline in iw if there were some kind of twist to it in endgame - like if the sacrifice didn't rly fully count so gamora could mess up thanos' plans or avenge herself in some way, or something along those lines - but...nope

but i do agree there were a lot of things that gunn still could've done differently to at least try to recontextualize the events of iw/eg in the gotg framework, especially given the themes of abuse and surviving it at play, that he failed to. he seemed to take an overall unserious approach to the gamora situation instead i guess which lol that's an interesting interpretation of events but ok!

[friedesgreatscythe]

romancypants replied to your post “me, seeing a gorgeous p&p post on my dash that i cannot blog because...”

wtf

i’m thinking it either has to be because of who i’m friends with (people have blocklists and ‘block their followers’ lists too), or op is in a fandom i’m also in and they still don’t like me for some reason

then there’s this one time i was blocked by a still pretty popular sailor moon blog because she started posting all her anti-choice shit ON that blog, and i asked her if she couldn’t keep that stuff somewhere else.

man i’ve been on tumblr too long, this dirt is all more than half a decade old.

[dmclemblems]

HMMMMMM.

@songbirdo

[benevadeca]

Aromantic kat is the best kat for a noncomprehensive list of reasons, but including

Actually follows the original intent of hamefura as a metatextual parody of the otome and isekai genres rather than just falling into it like the canon does the longer it drags on

Related to the above, it overturns the tropes both that "happy ending" is equivalent to romantic acheivement, And the whole idea of romance being fulfilled as a form of conquest (re: capture targets) or a battle (re: rivalries and the treatment of the target of romantic affection as a prize to be fought over and won)

Related to this is the failure to a lot of romance genres to actually give love interest real autonomy, or recognition as participants that reciprocate in both the forming and maintaining of said relationships.

Kat getting exactly the ending she expects (ie: living to an old age w a pet and whatever) but having those expectations subverted by it being exactly what she expects, but even more. Yr not alone girl! Look at the sense of fulfillment you've achieved through the connections you made, not as an exiled villain living their scripted ending, but one built up by and through life, actions made day by day, by all of you.

Also re: gerald specifically (and this can be in not just aro kat plotlines but more generally), bc for all I absolutely rag on him I genuinely love the man. But him not getting the archetypal "fairytale prince" ending expected by from him by even himself. Him being the "perfect prince" and """failing""" to achieve the one thing he feels matters, that he actively aimed for.

Listen the personal growth that comes from a character w such extreme gifted child syndrome coming to terms with their own fallibility and it being shown as a good thing actually to break free from those unhealthy mindsets and self-conceptions, being able to come out of it for the better and more well-adjusted, is something that can actually be so personal.

And for both ^ and the extended cast, the idea one again that they might've "lost" in their goal, that doesn't mean they don't still have what's important, what they were insecure about losing or not being good enough to hold onto, it's always been there! It's not about being "good enough! Characters not being able to see the forest for the trees and then finally realizing what they rly wanted has always been there. I know I usually get emotional bc this is the textbook katarina plotline but it holds true for the entire cast and I'm rly emo abt it.

Also future au where everyone still loves kat but aren't like, obsessed abt her to the point of weird codependence, and kat somehow becomes the 3rd wheel to literally everyone. And when I say this I mean this can go two ways and they are

A - katarina inviting herself to other people's dates without realizing it.

B - other people inviting katarina on their dates bc theyre just so used to inviting her to things it just does not register. I mean:

Mary: hey that book u were reading recently got a theatrical production, we should get tickets!

Sophia: Oh wow I'd love to! You know who else would love to see it? Katarina, we should invite her :)

[rosalesbeausderholle]

i wish there was a thriving online lesbian community that was focused on speaking on lesbian issues, connevting lebsians old and young and sharing art, tips and stories. im missing out on so much and lesbian spaces are filled with liesbians and men and everyone but us. like when i say lesbians i mean dykes! female homosexuals!! ugh. im just tired of having to share or scrape only for it to be taken away. and im thankful for rf's for speaking out but i dont rly want it to be a radfem space tbh

Hey anon so I have a lesbian discord!! It's not too big and we aren't entirely political (tho we all have similar views) but it's just to chill and hang out!! We voice chat a lot too (well i can't often bc timezones discriminate against me) and it's generally a really really nice atmosphere so send me a pm and I'll give you the link it's honestly become such an awesome thing in my life tbh!!!

(And now I'm hoping you aren't one of the people in the discord bc that may be awkward now advertising it to you lol)

It's not a thriving social network or forum but sometimes small spaces are great to have too. Build a ton of those and you get a network.

But yeah, I understand perfectly how you feel, it feels so empty and lonely and like there's no place that's just for us. And i wish we had that too. It sucks so much, but by just meeting like two other lesbians you can already carve out your own little space, and maybe they'll know more lesbians and you can have a bit of those connections we want. It's all about getting those and having your own little niche where you can be yourself, and we can make those bit by bit.

[cheesecrisp]

But fujoshi is literally just "a woman who likes fictional content abt two men in love." (A man who likes mlm content is a fudanshi and a gender neutral person who does is a fujin). Some ppl are gonna be weird abt it but it's not the majority. Most fujos are normal girls who casually like mlm content. You don't have to use these terms but a lot of anti-fujo discourse is basically "women (assumed to be cishet when rly the majority are queer) aren't allowed to like things!" So it bothers me.

Idk what to tell you. I'm still not comfortable with the genre/fandom/word thanks to who I grew up around (both online and offline). I get not everyone who likes it is weird about it, but I'm not an "anti" and I don't go around shaming/attacking people for liking yaoi/yuri (that's just mean) My best friend likes one of the OGs and she is one of those people that aren't weird about it, so if it makes you feel better I don't hate people who like it. I just don't want to be connected with it any more than I am, I'm at my comfortable distance and would like to stay that way. Hence my bio. If you're weird about it go away, otherwise it's chill buddy.

[noa-ciharu]

Hi~ I really like your post on aromatic and asexual and a question popped into my head that I would like you opinion on which is:

Is it possible to find a certain quality attractive in a person (say their voice or manner of speaking) without being romantically attracted to them?

It may seem redundant but whenever I say I find a certain quality attractive in a person, or say I like that certain quantity/characteristics in that person to my friends they immediately equate it to I’m romantically attracted to that person or that type of person and I’m like ‘?????? Errr no????? Does it always have to be romantic????’ And then I spend the rest of the day internally conflicted and confused about is it possible to be attracted to a thing in a platonic sense or intellectual sense without it leading to romance? (amatonormativity at its finest would you say?)

Sorry this ask is so long, but I very rarely say I find certain quality attractive in a person to friends in real life because it always leads to romance and it kinda makes me uncomfortable. -.-“

Hi :D

Yes, it's definitely possible to feel attracted to someone's personality trait or characteristic (or generally a certain characteristic) without feeling romantic attraction. It could be platonic attraction, intellectual attraction, aesthetic attraction or so on - not necessarily romantic one.

Sadly our society is deeply amatonormative and believes there are only two types of bonds possible: romantic and strictly platonic ones (""just friends""). Hence where something steps outside that narrowly defined way attractions ought to be, their minds can't wrap around that. Let's say someone's voice as you mentioned, allos usually attribute that to something way too I intimate hence romantic by design. But it so doesn't have to be that way, think of all the singers or celebrities people like only for their voice of manner of expression. In similar fashion, it's definitely possible to like only certain characteristics in a person whilst disliking everything else about them. Or admire them for one thing and dislike for another.

I often feel intellectually drawn towards people who are good at holding deeper conversations or have intruging/inteligent takes in xyz. I love hanging out with them, getting into debates (friendly ones, not discourses) and exchanging opinions. I'm generally more drawn towards person's way of expression, attitude and way of reasoning (maybe intelligence altogether) than looks. However that's not romantic attraction, I don't want to date those people, I don't want deep emotional connection with them, I don't want to get physical with them.

Similarly I often feel drawn towards someone's dressing style, especially women's (and especially of she's beautiful and/or hot). It's aesthetical attraction, because no matter how beautiful she is or stylish her clothes are or how attractive her manner of expression is - I don't want to do anything romantic with her. Not even is she instigated that. I have few straight female friends who said pretty much the same, that they could admire certain qualities in girls all day but wouldn't want to kiss them, date then etc.

I know it can be confusing when friends insist we are romantically attracted to someone when we were initially assured we aren't. There were few instances when friends teased me I liked some dude solely cuz I was hanging out with him during school breaks. It threw me off loop cuz I never even thought about being attracted to him before they've mentioned it. Hence as teasing continued I kept on being anxious around him - hence I mistook anxiety as crush and thought I rly had crush on him. Once friends lost the interest and stopped teasing so did my 'crush symptoms' stopped occurring around that guy and I slowly began realizing I was just feeling anxious around him, not 'in love'. He was a well spoken and intelligent guy, so maybe I mistook admiration I had for him as a crush or something similar. But I know deep down that I never wanted anything romantic with him.

So yes anon, it's defo possible to feel drawn towards certain trait in certain person or generally certain characteristics without anything romantic to it. Just sadly alot of allos aren't aware not everything has to be viewed in romantic light and alot of things aren't inherited romantic. Therefore they often mistake intellectual/aesthetical/ even sexual attraction for romantic ones, rush into dating, put unrealistic expectations on one another and end up in unsatisfactory relationships.