#though it didn't succeed very well but I don't care :D

[eaion]

[cursedvibes]

For the headcanon thing: Higuruma. And in case someone else has already asked about him, then Megumi.

Had fun reading your thoughts on the others! Always cracks me up how wildly different our shipping tastes are 😂

Yeah, we agree on the love for Yuuji and Kenjaku, but as far as ships are concerned, it's polar opposites xD Haven't done either yet, so here we go, hope this will be as entertaining as the rest!

Higuruma

Sexuality Headcanon:

Ace and/or gay I would say. He's in his mid-30s, has a well-paying job, but isn't in a relationship much less married or with kids. Not what's expected of men his age, which makes me think he's definitely not straight. Kinda like Takaba, except he doesn't even have the excuse of not being able to support a family (not that that's necessary of course, but it's what society expects of him). Contrary to Takaba, I don't think he's that involved with the queer community though. Maybe has a couple of queer friends like his assistant and that's it.

Gender Headcanon:

Probably cis man, but I'm not super set on it (maybe he isn't either, who knows).

A ship I have with said character:

Hm, I do like some of the Higuruma/Kusakabe fanart, but there's not really that much there for me to get invested. Kusakabe said one heroic sentence that became pointless 10 minutes later. And he was down about it, but compared to Yaga for example, Kusakabe got over it pretty quickly. People also ship them because of the dark hair and similar age, but I don't really care about that. Honestly, the only one who we have seen Higuruma have deep connection with is Yuuji, he otherwise keeps to himself.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Yuuji. I really like the talk after their fight and when they meet to discuss the Sukuna fight. Especially the second one is really nice. Seems very intimate and fragile. Both want to sacrifice themselves to safe the other, both see their own life as worthless, but they encourage each other while not judging them for being suicidal. (being suicidal together makes everything better :D) I like how they are just kind of silently there for each other without any big gestures. Higuruma doesn't want to look Yuuji in the eyes, but he still likes having him around and enjoys his company despite the guilt that comes with it.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Haven't really seen a Higuruma ship I didn't like at all.

A random headcanon:

Another reason for why he couldn't hit Sukuna with the executioner sword (besides Yuuji having to be the one to execute his death sentence and right his own) is that he's not actually a good judge or maybe it's not a profession he would be really happy with. It gives him an opportunity to take the law into his own hand and interpret it as he sees right, but he's actually much better as a lawyer put in to defend people. He doesn't always succeed, but it's what fits him most. not really a hc I guess, more text, but whatever

General Opinion over said character:

I like him, he's a good character. I feel like there could've been done more with his death, but it was nice for what it was.

Megumi

Sexuality Headcanon:

Pretty confidently ace, but probably bi- or homoromantic

Gender Headcanon:

He often gets interpreted as trans masc because of his name and how he doesn't really like it and I think that makes sense. Could see it. Might even be subtext and not just a headcanon. I don't like how the fandom tends to fetishize him because of that though. Tells me a lot about how they see trans men/trans masc people...

A ship I have with said character:

None really. ItaFushi is okay I guess, but I'm not that invested in them.

A BROTP I have with said character:

With Yuuji. They have a nice bond. Very self-sacrificial and dramatic. Actually quite a lot of similar themes to Yuuji & Higuruma now that I think about it, but I like them more than ItaFushi.

A NOTP I have with said character:

idk, the dude gets shipped with everyone, especially if they have a dick, so there's plenty to choose from. The one who annoys me most is Toji/Megumi probably.

A random headcanon:

He wasn't that close physically or emotionally with Tsumiki and kind of took her for granted until she fell into a coma. Of course they care about each other, but he just didn't allow himself to show that most of the time. And honestly, he hasn't gotten any better at it over the course of the coma. Yorozu should've punched him.

General Opinion over said character:

His fine. Not a huge fan of him, but he doesn't bother me either. Honestly, I often forget he's technically still in this story beyond the vague knowledge that Yuuji fights to safe him. I think his submersion by Sukuna and trauma through seeing Tsumiki's body die wasn't handled very well. There could've been done way more with it. It was almost handled like a footnote to Sukuna throwing his power around.

[swaps55]

Hi! I was rereading Fugue, and I was wondering if I could ask you a question. I think you’ve said before that Kaidan’s grief after Alchera was a dark thing and that the 2 years after changed him for good. If the opposite had happened - Sam was the one who survived Alchera instead of Kaidan - what would his reaction or grief be like? How would he have changed - into a colder, Saren-like figure (until a resurrected Kaidan shows up again someday like 2 years later because it would be too horrible otherwise D:)?

You can ALWAYS ask a question! Thank you for this one.

Fugue is ultimately a story about grief - the process of surviving it and healing from it. Kaidan is such a fantastic character to tackle it with, because I think his disposition lends itself so well to that arc. I didn't want it to be a story about suffering and pain, even though those things are an inextricable part of it. At its core, Fugue is centered around hope - grief is something you can come back from. You may not be the same person. Your life may not be what you imagined, but you're still here, and what you've built out of the ashes has meaning.

In Fugue, I wanted Kaidan to have the chance to rebuild himself and discover who he is outside of Shepard's shadow. I thought that was important for a character whose identity is so entwined with a person who is larger than life in so many ways.

It's a very different story if you switch their places. Now, we'll get a glimpse of what losing Kaidan does to Sam in the next story, which will be titled Mezzo and follows the events of ME2. But there are so many extenuating circumstances. Sam's been resurrected. Kaidan isn't dead, just estranged. Sam's got a lot of trauma to process and manage while being stripped of the tools he needs to manage them, and while he doesn't handle it well, it's hard to blame him.

But what if it were Sam who survived Alchera? What does that look like?

Sam, I think, is ultimately less emotionally resilient than Kaidan is. He thinks he can out-stubborn a brick wall. He is more detached by nature. When he's hurt, he shuts down emotionally and lashes out at the people who care about him. Kaidan does a lot to draw out his empathy and willingness to connect, because those things don't come naturally to him. He has to work at them. So in losing Kaidan, I think he loses those things, too.

I imagine that after Alchera, Sam would work himself to the bone, and make the Alliance and being a Spectre his entire world, because that's something he has control over. He'd regress back to where he was at the start of Cantata - an impressive soldier, but aloof and distant with no real investment in the things he does outside of, "there is a problem and I see the solution." Sam himself would hide behind Commander Shepard, the persona.

He'd hurt. He'd hurt, and with no way to make it stop, he'd want to make everyone else hurt, too. So you mix that detachment with cruelty born out of anger and hurt, and yeah, you've got a pretty good recipe for Sam becoming someone like Saren.

Anderson would try to pull him out of it, but Sam wouldn't tell him what he really lost, which would make that...hard. Because Anderson wouldn't understand what he's truly dealing with. And Anderson, despite all the positive influence he has on Sam, has never been good at reaching him when he's in a dark place.

So I think his best hope for putting the pieces back together is Liara, who understands him in unique ways even Kaidan doesn't. But Liara, too, struggles sometimes to separate Sam from Commander Shepard, because her fear of the reapers means she needs Commander Shepard. I think it would be hard for her to be what he needs. She would try - I just don't know if she would succeed.

So while Kaidan heals over the course of two years, I don't think Sam would. Kaidan may not have moved on by the time they see each other on Horizon, but he is moving forward. Sam, on the other hand, is just running in the direction that lets him keep moving, without caring what direction it is.

This also takes a lot of the complexity and conflict out of Horizon. Part of why Kaidan handles it badly is the unfairness of it. He spent two years clawing his way out of a hole, remaking himself from the ground up, re-defining who he is, and it's for nothing. Sam came back. He didn't have to do any of it. That takes some time to come to terms with and move past. But Sam? When you're drowning, you don't ask questions if someone throws you a lifeline. You just take it.

I think it's really fascinating that Kaidan, as the person with the better coping mechanisms, the stronger support network, and greater emotional stability makes for a much more complex and rewarding story than Sam's version of it would be.

Fugue is a look at how to find strength in yourself, which is something Kaidan needs to learn how to do. Sam has always been his source of strength, and without him, Kaidan has to look inward to find it. Whereas Sam has always tried to take on life alone, and learned how to find strength in others largely due to Kaidan's influence. So if you take him away, you put Sam back to square one. Alchera makes Kaidan in ways it would break Sam.

[brightsstar]

wonder if Dusk ever considers how like... Eclipse’s in general can't catch a break, especially after meeting Nova. RE!Eclipse is a little different, he decided to improve himself after waking up in the woods alone. But Dusk and Nova were both 'regular' Eclipses who were beaten and then curbstomped.

Idk Dusk in particular feels way more bitter. He's the one that's a backup, the other two didn't die in October (much to Nova's regret 8'D). He's also the one that made it to the end of the Canon timeline, as RE!Eclipse’s backup got derailed and is tiny. He's had the longest to struggle after his goals, succeed and at the same time fail. He was never stopped by anyone but realizing the pointlessness of continuing.

So he KNOWS more than the others that.. they're destined to fail. They NEVER win. Even if they don't get killed or defeated, they still don't win.

Aaa and just! He hasn't had any time to start considering being a 'better person' like RE!Eclipse, he's had a lot longer to go "wow, I really am just alone, aren't i?". His connections to others are practically nonexistent. Eclipse felt enough attachment to the others that he regretted his actions, and wanted to try and pay back some of the suffering he caused by getting rid of Blood Moon; Dusk is past the point of feeling those attachments.

LIKE Nova unquestionably has it the worst, physically and mentally. But Dusk is at the bottom of a pretty dark hole too, and he doesn't have a lot of hope down there.

Wow, that's long, and i had just woken up so i had to re-read it a few times lol

Have some Dusk lore as a treat.

That aside, If Dusk is left to his own devices for a while, he'll start thinking about those things, yes. He'd find himself reflecting as well, and not in the light-hearted way. For a long while, yes, he is bitter. Many of the answers i have given about him so far have been with him decently far down the line after he gets to the RE! Dimension. After he had experienced the kindness and care that Eclipse, and the other RE! Brothers have given him that the original crew didn't.

He knows he lost, and he accepts that he lost, but not to the point where he would accept death. That's also why he chose Dusk as his new name too. To remind himself that he's down, but not completely down. Like the sun setting, but not completely set. He's voluntarily retiring himself. That, and also his fear is why he isn't returning to the canon dimension, nor leaving this dimension. He was already going to promise not to bother the canon crew again if they just listened to him. And even if he didn't get that far in this version where he escaped, he is holding true to that promise, even if they didn't hold up what would have been their end of the deal. He's tired, and he's done. He isn't trying anything anymore. He's just letting it all unfold even though he won't be there to see it for himself. (Maybe in a video they make if that comes around)

Dusk has more trouble letting go of his pride too. Eclipse didn't quite have that much trouble letting go of his. It's part of why he stays bitter for so long, but he is well passed his breaking point, so his pride isn't even enough to make him go back.

He does start changing the more he learns from Eclipse. Then finds himself in a very similar boat that he did. Just this time, he isn't alone, which helps the process along smoother, even if it takes longer still.

He is in a dark place, yes, but he does have people who will help pull him out of it.

[mediaevalmusereads]

Cursed Cocktails. By S.L. Rowland. Aethervale Publishing, 2023.

Rating: 4/5 stars

Genre: fantasy

Series: Tales of Aedrea #1

Summary: After twenty years defending the frozen north against some of the most dangerous threats in the nine kingdoms, Rhoren “Bloodbane” has finally earned his retirement. While the blood mage's service to the realm may have ended, burning veins and aching joints remain, and Rhoren soon learns that a warmer climate offers relief from his chronic pain.

And a chance at a fresh start.

In the warm and relaxing atmosphere of Eastborne, the umbral elf finds a new purpose and a sense of belonging. He may have left the frozen north behind, but he brings with him the skills and strength gained from a lifetime of defending the realm. Along with his most prized possession—a book of drink recipes inherited from his father.

Spilled cocktails may not carry the same weight as spilled blood, but opening a tavern brings a unique brand of challenges. With the right friends and a little bit of luck, he might just have a recipe for success.

***Full review below.***

CONTENT WARNINGS: blood

OVERVIEW: This was my book club's pick for January, and to be honest, I probably wouldn't have picked it up on my own. I'm not a cozy fantasy reader, so I'm grateful that my book club has me read things outside my usual go-to genres. Overall, I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I expected my mi d to wander since I don't usually do well with low-stakes stories, but the stakes were just high enough and character-driven that I was able to devour this novel in a single day. While there were some minor things that didn't gel with my personal taste, this was an enjoyable read, so it gets 4 stars from me.

WRITING: Rowland's prose reminds me a lot of romance prose in that it's quick, direct, and fairly unadorned. Though it's not lyrical and doesn't use a lot of heightened metaphor or imagery, it gets the job done, and I had no problem picturing the scenery or the mood. I can see how this prose style can both appeal to a lot of readers or poor some readers off; whether or not you like it will depend on how straightforward you like your prose. Personally, I thought it was appropriate for the genre, so it worked for me.

What I liked most, however, was the cocktail recipes that popped up here and there. Because cocktails are central to the book, Rowland was smart to include a few recipes, which not only made me as a reader thirsty, but was a nice way of creating sections within the narrative. If I had any complaint, I would say that I think the descriptions of these cocktails could have been more sensuous; any time food plays an important role in a story, I want the flavors to leap off the page, so to speak, so I can vividly imagine the taste. In this case, I think Rowland could have pushed the language a bit more, relying less on generic terms like "refreshing" or "sweet."

PLOT: The plot of this book follows Rhoren, an elven blood mage who is seeking to start a new life after retiring from the North Guard. Rhoren ventures south to a warm climate to ease the pain his magic has wreaked upon his body, and he has with him his father's journal, which is full of cocktail recipes. When he arrives in a city called Eastborne, Rhoren quickly makes a number of friends who help him find a new purpose: opening his very own bar. The only problem is the location is said to be cursed!

This story was incredibly low-stakes in that there were no arch villains, no big fights, and no politics that threatened anyone's livelihood. Instead, the stakes were all character-driven: Rhoren wanting to find purpose, Rhoren wanting to leave his past behind, Rhoren wanting his business to succeed, etc. While I usually have a hard time getting through low stakes books, this book did a good job making me care just enough to keep reading, and the more I learned about Rhoren, the more I wanted him to succeed.

What also made this story satisfying was the fact that Rowland brings secondary characters back around to have some role to play in the plot. Rhoren meets a lot of seemingly random people when he first arrives in Eastborne, and it would have been easy to write a couple of feel-good scenes and call it a day. Rowland ensures, however, that these characters don't just have their 5 minutes to shine, but makes them active participants in Rhoren's journey. It made each scene feel purposeful, and for that, I appreciated the secondary characters more.

CHARACTERS: Rhoren, our protagonist, was fairly compelling in that he had a goal to pursue and a past to escape. I liked that his arc was all about finding a purpose that was less grandiose than the army but no less important, and that his dreams were small but honest. I also liked that Rowland didn't shy away from talking about chronic pain and the costs of using blood magic. Rhoran's attitude towards his powers is extremely balanced, and if this wasn't a cozy fantasy novel, I suspect Rowland might have inserted some angst in there. But as it stands, Rowland seems just annoyed enough to want to start a new life, and I think a lot of people can relate to that.

If I had any criticisms, I would say that I think there were scenes that were a little drawn out. This is just personal taste, however, since I'm not a cozy book reader and don't put a lot of value on scenes such as going shopping or sitting around by the fire. There's nothing inherently wrong with them, but I did find myself skimming here and there when I felt like I needed to move on.

I also kind of wish more was done with the "cursed bar" part of the plot. I won't spoil what happens, so I'll just say: when we find out what was causing the curse, I thought it would have more bearing on the plot than it did. I thought it was some kind of omen or would reveal something narratively significant, but it didn't, and I was a tad disappointed.

Kallum, Rhoran's friend turned business parter, was endearing because he was so soft with Rhoran. Kallum is kind and understanding, and it seems like very little ruffles his feathers. He's also free with compliments and adorably enthusiastic about alcoholic drinks. Part of me does wish that his goals were a little more informed by his past; as it stands, we don't know a while lot about his background, and though he dreams of owning his own bar, there's very little complexity other than pure love and joy. Personally, I wanted a little more than that, but again, this might be my personal taste.

Side characters were also endearing and everyone was so kind-hearted and respectful that the world of Eastborne felt non-threstening. I never felt like anyone had ulterior motives and despite referencing poverty, I never felt like our characters were in any danger. This might be just the thing some readers are looking for, but it also might grate on others, so go in knowing you're reading a cozy fantasy, not a gritty one.

TL;DR: Cursed Cocktails was a surprise delight; with a compelling protagonist and quick, direct prose, this book was easy to get through and easy to be invested in. While I do wish Rowland had leaned into the sensory experience of the cocktails more and had done a few things different here and there, this was, overall, true to its cover promise: a cozy read.

[waitingforwinterwinds]

A Clash of Kings - 61 TYRION XIV (pages 770-777)

The Battle of Blackwater - Tyrion Edition, part 2. Tyrion leads a sally outside to defend the gates and banks.

TW: blood and dismemberment

-

On the left, Tyrion was surprised to see Podrick Payne, a sword in his hand. "You're too young," he said at once. "Go back." "I'm your squire, my lord." Tyrion could spare no time for argument. "With me, then. Stay close." He kicked his horse into motion.

Pod! Such a good boy. I like that Tyrion does care enough to try and send Pod back, even if he doesn't succeed, and even if he can't spare any more care in what is about to be a very mentally and emotionally taxing situation.

Ser Mandon dropped the point of his lance at the last possible instant, and drove Joffrey's banner through the chest of a man in a studded jerkin, lifting him full off his feet before the shaft snapped.

While we do not approve of the horrors of war, before this chapter reminds me how viscerally freaking awful things are, I just want to say, from a technical skill stand point with Action Movie goggles on: that was a cool move, full cheers.

aaaand it's setting in how very impaled that man was. Hello Horrors, I was wondering where you'd gone. Maybe I should contact D&D, see where they bought their <Immortal Object> Action Movie goggles.

Ahead of Tyrion was a knight whose surcoat showed a fox peering through a ring of flowers. Florent was his first thought, but helmless ran a close second.

mmm, this is a good bit of action sequence. We have this thought, followed by a laundry list of kills by method, and I do mean laundry list. It manages to give the action a coherence, but also giving it both a detached and frantic energy.

... battle fever? Seems like an adrenaline rush met up with mild disassociation for a hot date.

"I yield, ser," a different knight called out, further down the river. (...) The man lay in a puddle of black water, offering up a lobstered gauntlet in a token of submission. Tyrion had to lean down to take it from him. As he did, a pot of wildfire burst overhead, spraying green flame. In the sudden stab of light he saw that the puddle was not black but red. The gauntlet still had the knight's hand in it. He flung it back. "Yield," the man sobbed hopelessly, helplessly. Tyrion reeled away.

goood, this fucking trope. It gets me every time, even though you always know it's coming in shows, with the camera angle and it's like "Just move the camera, show me what I already know, show me how much of the body is missing, show me how fucked the dying person is."

I think it's worse when they know. When they know but they're still begging for an impossible miracle like there's still some way they could survive it, get out of the situation, wake up and it's all just a horrid dream. Or maybe it's worse when they don't, and they're pleading for their life, but how do you tell someone asking for your help they're already dead.

I need cute cat videos.

One great hulk floated hull up between two smaller ships. Wrecks, but packed so closely together that it was possible to leap from one deck to another and so cross the Blackwater. (...) We made them a bloody bridge, he thought in dismay. Parts of the bridge were sinking and other parts were afire and the whole thing was creaking and shifting and like to burst asunder at any moment, but that did not seem to stop them. "Those are brave men," he told Ser Balon in admiration. "Let's go kill them."

Oh hey it's the line, from the speech, except it didn't go in that speech to begin with.

Also, I don't remember the bridge thing from the show. You've let me down and ripped me off again, D&D.

OH NO! THE HORSES!

GRRM did a really good job with this chapter, the flow of the action from focused in on Tyrion's POV, from concise actions and reactions and build on, to slowly losing contact with what's happening as Tyrion himself looses sense of what's happening. And there's a slight tonal whiplash as well, from Tyrion's focused seriousness, into slightly manic 'battle madness' and then into the post adrenaline fugue as he loses steam.

Yellow and green fire shone against the white of his armor, and his lobstered gauntlet was sticky with blood, but Tyrion reached for it all the same, wishing his arms were longer. It was only a the very last, as their fingers brushed across the gap, that something niggled at him... Ser Mandon was holding out his left hand, why... Was that why he reeled backwards, or did he see the sword after all? He would never know.

Two things with this, first: Lobstered gauntlets by the way, are called that because instead of little plates for each joint, or just one big plate to cover the back of the hand, lobstered gauntlets are kind of like mittens, made with bands that over lap like the bands on a lobsters back/tail. They are not wearing actually lobster shaped gloves complete with pincers. i know, sad but true.

Second: The earlier scene with the man begging to yield with his lobstered gauntlet only for the light of the wildfire to reveal Tyrion was essentially reaching for death being mirrored here? YES! This is the good shit. It's basically immediate pay-off foreshadowing.

Uhn, yes, love! it will haunt my nightmares for a week!

Then someone was kneeling over him. "Jaime?" he croaked, almost choking on the blood that filled his mouth. who else would save him, if not his brother? "Be still, my lord, you're hurt bad." A boy's voice, that makes no sense, thought Tyrion. It sounded almost like Pod.

That's kind of sad, that Tyrion thinks/knows he has so few people who would care for him.

But Yay for Pod!

I'm gonna go... watch some cute cat videos and recover from this chapter. The level of Horrors in this chapter? D&D could never. (Mostly because they were viewing this through Action Movie goggles.)

[marvinforyou]

Dear Marvin.

I saw the question you asked Mr. Gaiman. That was smart, asking a public figure you know lots of people trust.

Be more careful with random strangers on the internet like me. Many people do mean well, or at least don't mean any harm! But you just can't be sure. So take what I and any stranger says with a grain of salt.

That said, I'm DMing you because your plea to Neil Gaiman tugged at my heart, and I wish I could help. Being a teen is never easy, and if you have any kind of humanity, it's harder to feel hopeful when current events are... distressing.

I don't know what's making you scared, but I remember feeling hopeless and afraid as a teen during the Cold War.

It turns out, the very year I was most afraid, when a classmate's father came from the Pentagon to tell our social studies class about Mutually Assured Destruction, the nuclear war we kids weren't supposed to worry about even though it could kill us at any second almost DID happen. Twice.

In September 1983, one Lt. Colonel Stanislav Petrov heard the warning sirens at his station in Soviet air defense telling him that US nuclear missiles were launching. One. And then another. And then another. Five intercontinental missiles, incoming.

According to his orders, he should have notified his superiors and prepared a retaliatory nuclear strike. He didn't. Something felt off. Why start armageddon with only five missiles? It was a false alarm.

A few months later, there was an even bigger scare. In November 1983, the US and its NATO allies were holding a huge joint military exercise, Able Archer, practicing how they'd respond to a Soviet attack. Unfortunately the USSR didn't believe it was an exercise and thought they were mustering for WWIII. They prepared accordingly, including loading live nukes onto squadrons of planes for air strikes. Top military and government officials debated whether to strike before the west could launch its attack, or what constituted provocation. The US Air Force's Lt. Gen. Leonard Perroots saw these preparations, including the nuclear-armed squadrons, but opted not to respond. This time he, and probably many others making small but crucial decisions, kept us from falling over the cliff of nuclear annihilation.

Afterwards, when it became clear to both sides the exercise had nearly triggered WWIII, Reagan and his Soviet counterpart Andropov began to hammer out lines of communication to avoid such misunderstandings happening again. The Cold War began to thaw.

I'm telling you this history lesson which I've learned myself only in the past ten years. Back then, it felt hopeless. I was convinced the world was on a one-way course to a nuclear apocalypse, and I wouldn't live to see 30.

 A lot of terrible things have happened since then, like AIDS, the Rwandan Genocide, 9/11, and the US invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan. But also, so many good things. The World Wide Web. Seeing the face of Pluto, and learning it has a heart The birth of a lot of great people, including you.

No matter how bad things are, there will always be some people who look at crap choices when the time comes and say, "HELL no, I am not doing that" or"Let's see if we can make this better." There's not always That One Person at the right place and time, and people can't always succeed, but they try often enough that there is always hope.

And there's something else. Teens have gone through some pretty harrowing times in human history. That's not to belittle your fear or depression or any of the challenges you face — we're all different, and hard is hard — but to say that if other ordinary, imperfect, confused, hormonal teens dealing with family drama and stress and periods and mental health issues got through wars and plagues and riots and all the other crazy stuff that's happened on this planet— they made it, so there is hope for any of us.

And you have one tool they didn't in the palm of your hand. You have the power to reach out to other people far away, to ask questions, to seek answers, to make connections, and to affect people... maybe just for a moment with a word or thought, maybe in more lasting ways. You can make a difference. Or you may find people who understand, at least a little.

There is hope in that, too.

Thank you, Marvin, for inspiring me to think about hope.

I hope I haven't scared you with this huge wall of text, or this essay on hope in uncertain times.

Take it if it helps. Or close the window and walk away.

— Ellen

Thank you so so much for this (and the psa about stranger danger) it feels so incredibly scary to exist and live on this floating space rock we call home but to see so many people reach out and offer advice and differing perspectives gives me some sort of hope for at least a short future. I'm scared for a lot of reasons, I see my rights and the rights of my friends being taken away at every turn, I see genocide happening daily, I see myself not knowing who I am or who I want to be. seeing older generations talk about their experiences and learning from them is incredibly helpful and I hope more people can benefit from this ask like I have. Thank you Ellen for sharing your story. Things have always been bad but things could get better and I think that's what matters most. I'm still incredibly terrified for the future but this has given me some small shred of hope.

-Marvin

[gorogues]

belphegor1982 replied to your text post: If only 😭 I really love this snippet, it feels very very them - not oversentimental, not sappy, just a few middle-aged disasters, one of them is getting a second chance with his kid! That’s a big deal!! And I hope someone cuffed Axel on the back of the head at some point, that little punk :D

Thank you, and I'm really glad to hear the story turned out well! I felt it was time for Mark to have an emotional story and be vulnerable, and maaaaybe it was time to redeem his terrible parenting. Plus, bringing back Josh is always a bonus.

As a middle-aged disaster myself, I believe I have some insight into the condition :>

comicsandslushies replied to your text post: Josh! <3 I really wish something like this had happened in Canon, Josh could have lead to some really cool stories

Agreed! I'd love to know why he was unceremoniously killed off like that, and the fandom was hoping he'd get brought back at some point -- and maybe he would have eventually, but Flashpoint happened not long afterward. As it was, Mark didn't even really deal with what happened and it was basically a non-event for him…so disappointing.

tricksterrune replied to your text post: Only Mark is convinced that he's the Rogues' cool guy, like they're a boyband. That's so sweet and I love how they immediately go to delegate, who will watch him, probably work out a rota, no questions asked

Mark definitely likes to cultivate that image of himself (look at this dude), but we've seen that he's just as big a mess as any of them, so it's more self-image than reality! But yeah, I wanted the others to be supportive and happy for him even though it means a lot of inconvenience for them. At their best -- which I know they don't always succeed at being -- the Rogues do embody Len's "we take care of our own" quote.

[cryingbluez]

(Sorry about all the chaos in this, I did try to go thru it and clean it up a bit, but its all just rambles, so yeah sorry if u don't get anything. This is all copy pasted from my ramble on my art book on Wattpad)

HHHHHH okay, so I did say I was making my own version of Jouta (I can't remember if I also said I'd be remaking his stand as well. but that as well X'D). So here you go heres my version of Jouta and his stand 'Charmy Green' ("Devil Freefall"). The second pic of his stand is just to show how tall it is compared to Jouta (my Jouta is 6'3) (also forgot to mention in Devil's ref but the tail's are optional to draw uwu) Despite the stand looking completely different, I wanted to somewhat keep Jouta looking similar to his original design, since ima be honest, I like the original design. I just wanted to add more elements of Kak to him, idk if I managed to succeed with that thou. Oh well its fineeeee.

(More info+Backstory (My Jouta's backstory is different to the original Jouta's) under the cut, I didn't want this post to get too long.) (Yet again sorry for all the chaos under the cut, I was writing it quick before my brain died, so things may be a bit mixed up? lets hope I got everything right X'D)

His stands name is based off of the song "Rainbow Kitten Surprise - freefall". And Jouta's stand Mainly does shit like explosions. His stand makes him invulnerable to things like fire and other explosions. Only if its (Devil Freefall) either fully summoned, or has itself wrapped around Jouta His stand can let him do similar shit that you see in FireForce as well as if his stand gets a good punch on someone it can do (a smaller version of) "Crimson Moon"- from FireForce. So basically his stand is kinda op. BUT I think my Jouta as a character balances it out, basically Jouta doesn't really use it to its full potential, since nearly always has it unravelled. He refuses to fight along side people to, due to his stands power he is afraid he'd hurt someone.  Friend or Foe his stand will harm them.  On top of that Jouta is very driven by emotion, thats his downfall in most things. And may be the thing that trips him up in a battle. He can also be quite selfish with things, especially when it comes to Kak, pretty much he'll do what HE believes is best, even if it isn't the best thing.  haha au time :D (also a au where no one dies) His backstory is different from the original. Basically, to put it somewhat simply, a stand user that was a follower of Dio attacked both Jotaro and Kakyoin. Hurt them pretty bad, but they managed to come out on top and kill the stand user, but the stand user could 'cheat death' in a way, but at the cost of memory and defence? (in a way. Since he becomes young, can end up as a child.)  Using Jotaro's and Kakyoin's blood his stand basically remade it's user in a way before 'dying'. (Remade itself loosly off of Kak's and Joots's stand) Making Jouta. (the more blood there is that the stand could have gotten, the older the user could create the body, since there wasn't too much of their blood it made Jouta around 6 years old)

At first they (mainly Jotaro) were gonna kill him again, but quickly realized that Jouta had no memories of his previous life and was basically just a 6 year old. Jotaro still didn't trust him, but trusted Kakyoin's judgment on the situation.  To which when they dragged Jouta along with them to the rest of the group and explained what happened. It was also met with scepticism. But after a while was dismissed. Joseph was more so happy to have a kid about (despite the situation they were all in trying to get to Dio).  Joseph and Kakyoin mainly taking care of Jouta, with Avdol and Polnareff taking care of him every so often (more so acted as uncle figures towards Jouta). Jotaro still held his scepticism about Jouta, so tended to avoid him when he could.  They discovered that Jouta had a new stand, though no one ever fully saw it, only it unravelled, not even seeing the stands hands or anything.

When it came to the Dio fight they sent Jouta to the Speedwagon Foundation. Not wanting to involve a child in the last fight. (kept him along with them up until that point, since as much as they'd like to believe that Jouta was a kid, he came from an enemy dying and remaking themselves. So they didn't want to put the Speedwagon Foundation in trouble if Jouta did turn on them. Which obviously wasn't the case.) (since this is a everyone lives au people just end up injured in the hospital after the fight) After the fight Jouta got to see the others again, and refused to leave Kakyoin's side, partly blaming himself for what happed to Kak, wanting to protect him. Making a promise to himself that he will never let anyone else hurt Kak. He partly understood he couldn't have done anything about it, but it's just the fact he could have tried to stop Kak from going to the fight, but didn't. Obviously a few years go by, and Jouta stays by Kak, things did get better in terms of him and Jotaro, but he (Jouta) obviously didn't like him (Jotaro) as much as Kak. He normally gets asked to run errands for Kak or the Speedwagon Foundation, normally delivering things to Jotaro when he was in Morioh (which led to him meeting Josuke).

(thats all I got so far, but yee, obviously I could expand on this story a lot more, but the jist of it is, Jouta born from blood, adores Kak with his life and would die for Kak since Kak was the only one who truly believed in him since the start, Jouta would also die for Joseph, he ends up living with Kak after the events of part 3, does once and a while spend time with Jotaro (maybe spends a week with him every so often, he would do it more, its just he hates being away from Kak)) (In this au Jotaro and Kak become best friends pretty quick before Jouta, and still remain best friends. Since Jouta looks similar enough to Kak when Jotaro gets his wife, they pretend that Jouta came from a past relationship that Kak was in, and that Jotaro became a second dad to him. Which (idk if she has a name) Jotaro's wife quickly became a mother figure to Jouta. So when Jolyne was born, they were raised as siblings in the context of Jotaro's and Kak's lie, despite them being actual siblings. When Jotaro ends up divorcing his wife Jouta still visits her and Jolyne since he adores the two as well. Helping them both out when they can, Kak also remains on good terms with the wife after the divorce. )  (idk if I will end up adding more to this, so yeah just take what I got, if anyone got any questions just ask oof)

[shiro-0197]

Omg that sounds so cute 😭😭😭 I do that sometimes too. Mostly little faces and hearts and the beats turn out horrific 😳 I'm glad you had the time to do so, love :D

awww thank you, I feel much better about it now. You're right, taking a rest is suitable. I was just so focused on other stuff I never got around to studying, but I will definitely do so next month 😅😚

oh I see!! Good luck with those, you're gonna do so amazingly well xx 💖💖💖 hmm they're not the same. So we start our school year in January, and we have a first quarter exam in march, then another midterm in June/July, then a second quarter exam in September, and our finals somewhere in November (and then we get a break from November to December, and resume on the 2nd of January), tho we have many week-long holidays in between, like after our midterms (two weeks) and after the quarter exams (one week each). That's before quarantine. Now, due to quarantine, we didn't have our finals because school was out, so the school postponed it to January, when school reopens xD it sucks because we didn't even have lessons for most of the topics which are supposed to come out, and self studying is rubbish, honestly. But I think I'll be okay if I put in the hours <3

awww 😭😭 that's okay maybe use a pillow to muffle it. Oh how I'd love to give you a headpat rn. I love headpats, do you like them too?

RIVER PHOENIX BESTEST BOY. I love his name so much too, ahdbsksj!! I mean... LOOK AT HIM?? PRECIOUS, BEAUTIFUL, ANGEL.

(He's not alive anymore tho... He passed away on Halloween's day 27 years ago. His story is such a sad one, actually. I have to hold back tears when u think about it)

I'm glad you liked them!! I don't share classical music recommendations with people, you're the special exception, but I'm so happy you like it. It's very soft and soothing, and river flows in you is my favourite thing to play on the piano 😣💖

KSBSKSHSKJ CUTE CUTE CUTE YOUR VIRTUAL DATE SOUNDS ADORABLE GOSH IM MELTING. 😭😭 Poor Kuro, I hope the store restocks some of that juice for him skdjsksk. It's nice that you have someone to spend time like that with. Life is so much more fun when you have someone with you to spend the boring days away. I'm so glad you have Kuro, the two of you sound so wonderful together.

ah yes!! Abigail made it. She's hoping to start a baked goods business in the future, so she practices a lot, and that's nice because whenever I go over the house smells really good. I loved seeing them all too. I nearly cried when I saw Hri (anime protagnist friend sjdjsks it's such a mouthful to type, so that's his nickname xD) because I'd missed him a lot, so I was really really happy. He sat on the floor and let me braid his hair and tie it up, since it's grown so long now!!

Really? I didn't know that but I'm so glad you think so. You make me so happy, I hope you know that.

AHHH yes I really did miss you more, bae 😭💖 didn't not think about you :) I'm glad, it's always so nice to rant with a best friend. I hope things with his family get better!! and oof 😭😭 I never knew that about phones, but it makes sense, extremes of temperature would definitely affect the battery life :( shame that it happened tho!!

I love you too, my wonderful Shiro. Thank you for existing, and always putting a smile on my face.

—miss i'll-braid-your-hair-someday-too-shiro 💖

Heheheh, yes, every time the sounds are like music composed from the cries of the sinful souls right from Hell. It's too fun to pass, though

I'm really glad, also thanks a lot!!!

Damn ... school system is so differnet everywhere. Even the school start, ours starts at first of September😭 It's usually 3 exams per term for each subject, and there are 4 terms. 2 of the exams are for the unit we had passed, and the 3rd exam is what I like to call the final exam, and its has questions of everything we had passed in the term. Or semester. idk how it's called anymore😩 I just know that they're not divided equally (one is two months, one is three, one is 3,5, the other one is 2,5 or something🤨) and it bothers me a lot. Could've done it a little more organized.... pain😞😞

Yeah, selfstudying is really hard... you just lose focus and it's difficult to understand something with all those weird words. For me, at least. With a study buddy i could at least brag that I'm ahead of them XDD I'm sure you can do it, though! Good luck<33

I like to give out headpats!! But, I guess, to have one from you would be lovely😭

Omg!!!! He looks so gorgeous??!? It's such a shame he died at such a young age:((( rest in peace, River Phoenix😖

Ohhh!! Am I, now? That's cute, I'm glad🥺 I'd love to listen to you playing it someday🥺

Hahah, I know right!! I've been thinking about how cute it sounded, tbh I wanted to draw that but really haven't been feeling up to it XD I'm also very happy to have him. It gets lonely around here :( I'm also very glad to have you! And your sweet messages. It's really a relief, knowing someone so wonderful cares about you. Makes me feel even more special, you know?

Ohh that sounds so good!! I wish her luck, I'm sure she'll succeed. That cookie looked gorgeous, bet it tasted great too😋😋 Also that's so sweet omg???? I'm glad you got to see him🥺🥺 and he let you braid his hair what a wonderful man😍🤭

You make me very happy too!!<33

You're making my heart dance rn wth😭😭💞 you're right, it's really nice to just ramble on about stuff with you♡♡ I really hope so as well, but I think it's really better to hope that they can move out. I wish I could help them fjnancially:(

Yeah phones are kinda annoying like that sometimes >:(( it sucks, but at least they do what they need to hehe

Thank you so much for everything, for everything you've told me, for everything you showed me and everything you wished me, you never fail to make my day better💕💕💞💓

[seyaryminamoto]

I got into argument with Zuko stan, i didn't like how she oversell Zuko's sob story so much, i fill up with her mis-interpretations and bs, I said "i don't care if she wanted to kill, torment or usurper him! he can go fuck off and die!" I'm not the kind of say this fucked up shit, but how they victimize-glorified Zuko is sickening me.

xD well, since I assume the “she” in your statements was Azula, I take it your Zuko stan was using those things as an argument to boost Zuko’s sob story. But… none of that is accurate at all, especially the usurper one.

First off, Azula only started wanting to kill Zuko after the Boiling Rock. Where’s the proof? Why, obviously, the proof is that she could have killed him many times before. Why didn’t she? What held her back? On her first episode we can be delusional and pretend she really had been trying to kill him, but Iroh stopped her and that’s why she didn’t. In the Chase, let’s say she was outnumbered so she couldn’t get away with it and had to flee.

But in Crossroads of Destiny? If Azula wants Zuko dead, why did she capture him at first at all? What good was he alive when she caught him? She chose to capture him, not to kill him, from as early as that, and then gave him the chance to go home long before knowing Aang would be shot by lightning and revived through spirit water (ergo, no, she couldn’t bring him home so he would take the fall for Aang’s not-death because it defies all logic that she’d know Aang wouldn’t die). 

Later on, while Zuko is in the Fire Nation, she could have easily killed him too and made it look like an accident, who knows? :’D she doesn’t. So legit, as has been repeated for millions of posts, Azula didn’t want to kill her brother until her breakdown, or else she probably would have finished him off way earlier.

As for the tormenting, honest to gods, people over-demonize Azula for this. True enough, she was no exemplary sister, yes, many times she behaved as a bully. But if we really put some emotional distance with the show? Azula’s most malicious teasing doesn’t hold a torch to what I’ve seen happen between siblings who genuinely hate each other. It doesn’t hold a torch to stories I’ve heard of brothers who are literally physically aggressive and abusive to their sisters because they can be. It doesn’t even hold a torch to how I’ve behaved in a sibling relationship, either. Siblings have conflict, siblings tease each other, sometimes they don’t know where to draw the line. It still doesn’t mean a sibling relationship is beyond mending, or that the damage done is so severe you will never bounce back from it.

Azula’s comments are hurtful, and yes, words can definitely sting. But the degree of psychological torture people are holding Azula responsible for? I don’t think even Zuko makes as much of a big deal out of it as his fans do. I honestly think Azula was more cruel to Sokka that one time when she played him over Suki’s capture than she was with pretty much everything she said to Zuko. No offense to your stan, but… what Azula did to Zuko, while certainly harmful, is in no way anything I’d consider torment. Not to mention, Zuko could bite back whenever he wanted, and he certainly tried to do it a few times (only, he’s just not sharp enough to do it effectively). For that matter, I should be here talking shit daily about Zuko and how little he understands Azula, how he’s such an asshole for thinking she’s perfect and telling her as much spitefully, when her tragedy is that she keeps trying to be perfect but failing :’D how dares he torment her so much by calling her perfect when she knows she can never be?!

Aaaanyways, enough messing around with that one.

Lastly, usurping who? Azula was given the right to succeed Ozai on the throne, by Ozai himself. If Ozai is the one considered an usurper (which makes enough sense), Iroh should be the rightful ruler instead of Zuko anyhow. But if we think Ozai is rightfully Fire Lord, Azula’s coronation is perfectly legal. Meanwhile, Zuko’s victory in the Agni Kai (in his every Agni Kai, really) is debatable because it doesn’t even follow the established rules of Agni Kai fighting (not only does Katara finish the fight for him, but the winner is the firebender who burns the other, and who got burned/nearly-killed again, if I may ask? Oh yeeeeeah, that’s riiiight…). Yet Zuko’s the one who gets crowned in the end :’D who looks like an usurper now?

Anyways, I honestly don’t know what Zuko fans are trying to achieve at this point by stating over and over and over again everything that’s plastered all over canon. We’re always supposed to think Zuko isn’t that bad, we’re always supposed to know he has a sad story, we’re always supposed to cut him slack because he’s doing his best, poor baby, let’s coddle him forever. So why do they keep being such apologists when the show is already, by its very nature, the biggest Zuko apologist there is?

When a Zuko fan comes up with a new argument, a new discovery, some genuinely interesting realization about Zuko that doesn’t hinge on how mean everyone else is or how flawless and good his heart is (stuff that I’m beyond tired of hearing because Zuko has been a jerk to a lot of people even post-redemption, and his heart is nowhere near as pure as he would love to think it is), I’ll probably listen and be intrigued by what they have to say. But more spouting of the same pointless drivel? Please spare us all. I had enough of Zuko’s drama just by watching the show, thank you very much.

On another note, though, this isn’t supposed to be about denying Zuko’s pain and suffering and how much he went through. I would hope you, anon, know that yes, Zuko’s struggles are real and all (whether the fandom blows them out of proportion or not). Still, yes, when his fans get obnoxious it’s hard to resist the urge to say Zuko has no right to complain about anything. Nevertheless, let’s try not to be as close-minded and stubborn as they are. The whole point should be that we see Zuko without rose-colored glasses that make him a poor, sad, perfect hero because he was never supposed to be flawless. His flaws make him complex, acknowledging them is acknowledging his complexity. Denying them, and pretending he’s completely flawless and never acted wrongly by his own hand and decisions, is rendering him flat, bland and rendering his every complexity null and void.