#ticketmaster can rot in hell

[cursed-man-prayers]

i’m soooo sick of how buying concert tickets works these days. because it doesn’t work. the system isn’t broken—it was designed to swirlie people out of their money by pitting them against bots and adding exorbitant fees. ticketmaster *could* make the system better, but they won’t. because making it better wouldn’t benefit them. it’s just a prime example of how capitalism ruins shit. concerts are supposed to be places people go to celebrate and enjoy the music of artists they care about or, hell, even artists they’ve heard about in passing and are interested in hearing. but they don’t build community anymore. it’s just a competition for who can actually get tickets, and how “good” the tickets are, and what “special things” happen at their show. the whole process is miserable. i don’t even want to try to get tickets bc the process makes me feel like shit. even if i had the money, that wouldn’t guarantee me a ticket in any way because of the competitiveness of the system!! i’m sick of it!!! i don’t even want to think about trying to go to concerts!!

[livingasaghost]

lol why am i going to dallas to see halsey alkgsfjh

[lesbianlenas]

the way i am going to be going to 3 concerts between august and october i am so blessed 🙏

[harryinsweats]

so crazy being waitlisted when you live 10 min from the stadium

[cymorilcinnamonroll]

Swifties in Hell

Shannon was in presale for Eras Tour tickets, frantically clicking the mouse and refreshing the screen on Ticketmaster as Samael loomed like an omen in the background.

“FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUCK,” the redheaded biology student said, sweat a sheen on her freckled face as seats were claimed, and she was ten thousandth in line. “We’re never going to get Taylor Swift tickets for us and the guys, Samael!”

Samael peered down the long, bent and hooked length of his nose with eyes that burned like the red fires of Mordor. “Beelzebub will be so disappointed. His favorite music is whiny spoiled blondes complaining about their whorish Millennial dating debacles.”

“Oh, shush, Sam, you love ‘Shake It Off’ – holy shit, WE GOT THEM FOR US AND THE GUYS!!!”

“Woohoo. I want to die.”

She jumped, screaming, and tackled Sam. “We’re going to D.C.. to see TAYLOR SWIFT! I’m throwing a Swiftie party in the Hellopolis BASEMENT tomorrow, and you all HAVE TO COME.”

“Can I claim the fourth.”

She smothered him with kisses. “My dream!”

“I thought I was your dream, Shannon.”

“I mean, I love you, Sam, but Taylor Swift is like the female Messiah.”

He cradled Shannon in his arms, kissing his girlfriend. “You mean a white woman Shai Hulud, a sandworm infecting Zoomer and Millennial girl brains and making them spend their life savings on pink tacky vinyls and bimbo-branded merchandise.”

“Alexa, play ‘Shake It Off,’” Shannon said without skipping a beat.

The lyrics came on, and Samael could not stop his demon tail from thumping along in time.

Shannon grasped his black tail, then began to suck on its pointed heart-shaped end.

Samael moaned, bucking into her. “I am not fucking to Taylor Swift – oh fuck, take me here you scarlet harridan, on the floor like a rawdog bear.”

“As you say, Matty Healy.”

Shannon was dressed like a Tortured Poet, beret on, white paper-covered dress with fresh ink, a typewriter in the basement office, pale pink cupcakes with illuminated poetry icing she had baked, an ice cream cake with a picture of Matty Healy, and she had forced Samael to wear a red scarf.

“Welcome, everyone, to the Swifties in Hell party!” Shannon, eternally nineteen due to Samael forcing his heart in black alchemical larceny on her, proclaimed to the archdemons. The usually sere, black, bone covered, and gore spattered dank basement had been painted pink, with balloons, a Taylor Swift cutout, and pink mood lighting. She had sprayed Bath and Body Works vanilla bean perfume over the myrrh and rot.

Asmodeus was chagrined, a succubi hooker on his arms, her triple red tits blushed with bruisy kisses: “Um, Shannon, what is this exactly?”

Beelzebub was drinking a watermelon Whiteclaw Shannon had filled the cooler with, instead of their usual blood wine and hell beer. “Tasty. Girly shit. But tasty.”

Lucifer checked the cake, then helped himself to some. “I think Shannon’s forcing us to another concert. Samael, your outfit is gay.”

“I’m apparently John Mayer.”

Shannon was busy making candy bead friendship bracelets with Asmodeus’ naked hell prostitute, Batsheva. She ignored them.

“Omg, Bat. I love Cornelia Street to!”

“But girl,” Batsheva said. “The way Joe Alwyn did her dirty.”

It was not very easy fitting thirteen foot tall, clawed, multiple headed, insect and beast appendaged demons into Capital One Arena, but Shannon made do. They had floor tickets.

“She’s very peppy,” Lucifer observed as Taytay played guitar and danced in a sparkly uni and go go boots.

“I’d rather be at Falling in Reverse,” Samael sighed, smoking like a chimney, now dressed as Travis Kelce, Shannon in his lap, bouncing along.

“Oh shit, this is GOOD. Go Taytay!” Asmodeus hooted.

Beelzebub was swapping spit with a Swiftie twink.

Finally, ‘Shake It Off’ came on. Energy swelled in the mesmerized crowd, and Samael felt rhythmic, feral white girl energy enter his ancient, blackened bones.

“Oh god, I get it. I GET SWIFTIEMANIA. SHE IS THE FEMALE MESSIAH!” Sam cried, having a white girl revelation.

The demons cried and danced. Shannon rode Samael’s shoulders as they got up to totally G-rated debauchery, candy bracelets on, phone lights swaying, screaming and crying

In

Demonic Swiftie

Frenzy.

It was the best night, so far

Of Samael’s

Life.

[unbreakable--heaven]

$32 in fees for a $65 ticket. Ticketmaster you can rot in hell!

[lovewithoutresin]

when i have non taylor mutuals liking my posts in solidarity over this that's how you know shit is FUCKED

[aintmyjewelry]

people on tiktok are excited about their tickets and others are commenting “wow. the switch up is so wild” ????? absolutely NO ONE is praising ticketmaster for this. and we were not really angry with taylor in the first place. this is literally the LEAST they could do and if it wasn’t for taylor standing up and having some pull THEY WOULD’VE NEVER DONE THIS. ticketmaster can still rot in hell, let some of us enjoy what we were able to get.

[trulymadlysydney]

not the resale prices for nosebleeds already being over 1000$??? the sale just happened 30 minutes ago wtf

Yeah Ticketmaster can rot in hell DHSKDJD

[sambergscott]

ticketmaster is so much better than seetickets. seetickets can rot in hell

[taehyung-the-baehyung]

The tickets on ticketmaster are up to 800+!!! But maybe cause they’re resale? lol I don’t think I’m going to be buying one on ticketmaster, as I dont know if I can really trust their site 😅 Also, I think all the LA tickets sold out cause I cant find any site that has them anymore, which was insanely fast!! 😱

Whoa...I think those are resales, don’t touch those! Please, please, please don’t buy any tickets from scalpers y’all they can rot in hell and I hope they never get tickets for anything they want like ever.

fill up my inbox ❣️