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#time to find some new hobbies
rockitmans · 5 months
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Disappearing into the fog for a while. Don't have too much fun without me 💖
Linking this so I can repin it later lol. We all know Tumblr.
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fluent-in-lesbianism · 4 months
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Hi! How was your day today? :)
I'm on call this weekend, plus my period started. I usually take a bunch of medicine to forcibly put myself into hibernation mode until it ends, but I can't bc *waves hands* I'm on call :\
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saeshiraw · 9 months
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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chrismcshell · 2 years
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omg the shadow the hedgehog real-time fandub was sooooo good 😍😍😍 that cover of i am all of me????? 🔥🔥🔥
links: [clip source] / [the actual shadow fandub] / [the actual “i am all of me” cover]
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rohirric-hunter · 3 months
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thepapernautilus · 4 months
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when you're doing super good & something happens that launches your nervous system back into hypervigilance mode and your resting heart rate is back to 120 you've gotta be kidding meeeeee 😭😭😭
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Literally cannot comprehend that some people just... go places.. I know someone who just got back from a 2 week vacation and then the day they came home they went out to eat at a restaurant (at a busy time mind you, like 7pm on a saturday night!!) and then went to a mall to shop and then woke up early for brunch the next day and were at a bar in the afternoon and so on and so on and it’s like... god don’t you get tired of being places? If I go grocery shopping for 20 minutes on monday and then have a doctor appointment on tuesday, I am SO tired of leaving the house that I want to do nothing for the next two weeks lol...  Doing multiple major tasks/trips in one day and ENJOYING it and SEEEKING IT OUT is utterly inconceivable to me..  we are different creatures entirely lol
#not even regarding how irresponsible it is to be constantly doing stuff during the pandemic and etc. etc. like EVEN before the pandemic#I felt this way exactly the same. I just do not understand the human compulsion to be Doing Things (tm). And it's not that I don't enjoy#SOME things#like very hyperspecific things in controlled environments scheduled 10 days ahead of time and intricately planned lmao#but like there is some stuff I enjoy so it's not like I just hate everything but it's just... ghghhhhhhhhhh#like what are you running away from something? is it unberable for you to be alone with yourself so you have to be like#constanly up and out and finding new sensory shit to throw yourself into or like???#I am legitimately not exaggerating comepltely 100% fine not leaving my house for months at a time (aside from going on walks to get excercis#e just around the block/still within the neightbohood and occasional necessary grocery trips to stock up on food obviiously)#I simply do not posess the impulse to go out to restaurants or bars or go to clubs and dance or go to parties or concerts#OR even travel like...?? idk I guess it's not terrible but in the past when I have traveled I've found that the only things#I could name that I enjoyed about the experience were like.. I like being on hotels because you get free breakfast sometimes and they have#TV and air conditioning and better beds than I do at home. I like people watching from my room windows. I like being in airports because#of the way they;re designed and I like to pearch somewhere and watch people and watch clouds and planes taking off.#I enjoy being on airplanes because the windows feel cold and you can look at clouds and sometimes have gingerale.#but I dont enjoy the traveling or going places itself. I'd rather be at home working on my hyper-specific interest hobbies lol#legit not joking at al if I won tickets to like an all expenses paid super luxury tropical getaway I would sell them and use the money to#buy craft supplies. I would get 10000x more personal fulfilment and joy being able to work on a new project or having the money to pay off#bills or buy better groceries or get an apartment with a better bathroom or something like that than I would having the one time#experience of like wow I looked at a cool beach and some sunsets and ate at restaurants a lot#And maybe the thing is like. I don't value experiences? I value resource security and pratical progress at things#and not in a like workaholic capitalist way but just in a like.. I value more what's going to make me happy in the LONG run than temporary#expeirences that are somehow supposed to mean something to me in the moment (yet I usually derive no pleasure or meaning from at all)#Like I would rather use money to invest in my niche hobbies or crafts or personal improvement or getting a more comfortable#bed or better shoes for my foot pain or etc. etc. than I would spending the money to go out to a resuarant or travel or etc.#ALSO again like.. in addition to it simply not seeming worth it because my brain rarely is able to conceptualize the value of those sorts of#experiences.. it's also just SO tiring to do things! Even a grocery store trip can be overwhelming with sensory stuff and social things#and etc. etc. and I just realize like.. all the things people have told me are Fun are not Fun for me. I grew up and realized you actually#have no obligation to do things. I found out you can spend your birthday at home alone eating a waffle and playing your favorite video game#and I have never went anywhere or done an activity on my bday since lmao.. 'Doing Things' is just hard for me to grasp still really lol
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sirenofthegreenbanks · 4 months
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ive been spending so much time on reading that im hitting my personal limit now and it starts to get boring. in germany we have an expression for that: im in need of tapetenwechsel!
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destinyandcoins · 10 months
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have we talked yet about the possibility that UFOs and every suspected bit of extraterrestrial evidence could actually be originating from the advanced civilizations living in the trenches of the ocean just as bemused and wondering as we are about the world beyond them and reaching out in exploration? because given the fuckoff incomprehensible expanse of ocean floor we've yet to actually study or even really guess at what specifically is down there, I think there's a real possibility there's a complex society of, idk, particularly clever sea slugs and other amalgamations of physical matter like hydrogen and thulium and other shit we've never considered as a viable fundamental building block of life. and the fucking whales are the only living creature with the kind of planet spanning range and intelligence to know there's two complex evolutions of sentient life existing on opposite spheres of reality from each other who would really benefit from learning about the other, but we're both too fucking stupid to understand how whales communicate
#Idk man the ocean fucks me up sometimes#And also I think we're missing entire realities out there just waiting to be discovered#Because we've got such a specific and artificially tunneled view of what we see as reality or as supporting of life#And like. Ghosts and aliens and shit are that seeping into our world. But we don't even have the tools to start understanding#Like we're looking for alien life but we're looking according to OUR understanding of how life works and how life could occur#But that's just based on our own little planet our own little corner of the known universe#And man. There is a whole fuckoff lot of everything else out there in the infinity of the universe and the existence of anything#And we are just not equipped to ever know or understand much of any of it. But god that doesn't stop us trying#Trying to understand and find some way to prove we're not alone or unique in the universe#We have this thing called life and we want to share it with someone something somewhere somewhen#''There's gotta be someone else out there in the universe because I want to experience it with them''#Hm. Many thoughts#But also the Mariana trench is eating the pacific plate at a rate of 3 inches per year???#That's what we're talking about when we say shifting tectonic plates and why islands are moving micro amounts year by year?#The Mariana (and many other) trench(es) are EATING OUR PLANET?? why. Why are we not talking about that more explicitly#I feel like that's a better use of our time than squabbling about what social media we should use now instead of twitter#(None. You should replace Twitter in your life with 2-5 hours per week#of contemplation of how our PLANET IS EATING ITSELF. AND BELCHING UP THE REFUSE IN THE FORM OF VOLCANOS AND MUD VENTS)#Breaking news: my new hobby is geology. Fucking WILD stuff going on over there#Geology tag
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dogthemaverick · 5 months
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Just dropped some cash money on some diamond painting kits while my embroidery and cross stitch stuff gather dust. Wondering if I actually have hobbies or just hypothetically enjoy things while actually enjoying buying new shit
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i really enjoy helluva boss so why does the fandom fucking suck? and by that i mean why are they consistently so many people in the tags talking about how bad the show is/how much they hate it? especially the writing?
like bitch don’t watch it then! it’s literally free and so so easy to not watch! it’s even easier to not talk about disliking it!
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KIKI'S DELIVERY SERVICE
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year
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Watching more vloggers who make me feel like there's hope in growing up and becoming someone lovable
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flatstarcarcosa · 1 year
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nothing makes me hate wrestling more than other wrestling fans.
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chewwytwee · 1 year
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#.txt#this isnt a vent but like#its gonna be a thought dump about some stuff so yeah youre in for mental illness if you read further#not to be super down on myself cuz this really isnt a big deal#but im realizing more and more that im like a really high strung person. I take everything really seriously and i dont rlly know if thats a#good thing#like I have a hard time just having hobbies. like piano isnt a hobby for me at least not anymore im way too serious about piano for it to#be a hobby#that doesnt mean i dont enjoy it piano is the single most important thing in my life right now and i care about it more than anything#but like.#its not a hobby#and so i think this like... intensity on my 'hobbies' seeps into a lot of other areas of my life#and in rlly small ways too.#I find it very very hard to pick up new hobbies. I dont want to if i dont have the capacity to learn it very well#and i dont even have to BE good at it. But I want to have the skills and the tools TO be good at it#like what I mean when I say that is like... I deadass dont believe that if you just do a thing everyday you'll end up being really good at#it#if I just sat down at the piano and just played whatever for 2 hours a day#I would suck ass. Like I would be so bad at the piano rn#the reason Ive gotten so much better recently is that I do the exact opposite#I control VERY heavily what I practice and how I practice it. its self discipline#and its all those underpinnings of how I interact with art and the implicit goals I hold while I do it#because like the issue with what I said. Is who cares?#like who gives a shit if youre really good at something#who cares if you arent well rounded who cares#idk#but i do#i care a fucking lot like i care a lot a lot a lot#and so like. I try not to as often as possible and for the most part i do. but I apply this lens to others too#I feel like everyone has to be pursuing a really wide and refined skillset in whatever they do
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twilightsparasite · 3 months
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!
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