#tinder goals tbh

[respitelocklyre]

I made the cheer squad!!! I have a lil more to say but that's the important bit- updates under the cut like always ✨

Cheer tryouts were waaay different than i expected!! I kind of thought it'd be a big ordeal but it was just me and one other freshman who tried out, so we were obvs accepted lol Not that we wouldn't have made it in anyways since we both looked fucking great!! Especially considering I haven't even done any of those moves since last fall. The squad is pretty small and i don't think they do competitive stuff but that's fine, we never did in high school either. I'm more interested in getting to know the rest of the silkball team we'll be cheering on, if the try-outs were any indication of what's to come 🤭 There's this cute owl-guy I might have my eye on- i think he works at the tavern too!!

Oh yeah, i also got the work-study at the tavern! I figure i'll just quit if i don't like it lol but anyways come say hi if ur on campus- i promise you'll recognize me on sight. I'm pretty easy to spot hehe

Oh oh oh and congrats to Mire for getting on the team too!! and for scoring some points with their crush (they can thank me later~). I wonder if they're gonna be able to play well while being cheered on lmaaooo

Classes have been fine, but tbh i haven't rlly been able to pay attention to them since i've been busy partying, meeting new people, and adjusting to life on campus! It's kinda overwhelming, my contacts have like doubled since i got here. And everything is like...way different, yknow? Obvs I didn't think it'd be the SAME as high school, but the vibes are soooo different is all. idk what to make of it all yet but i know that im LOVING being away from home and enjoying my freedom so far <3 Cathy told me the first month or so would probably be rlly hard but idk what she was talking abt bc no one grounds me for waking them up when i get home at 2 am and not even the raven queen can stop me from eating icecream for dinner now.

+++++

In reality, this party was kind of lame, even as Respite typed otherwise to his friends— they'd opted to ditch him for a studying session, so he sure as hell wasn't going to let on that the party was anything but lit. They had a feeling most of them probably wouldn't care, but Willow might feel a touch regretful, so the lie was worth it.

After sending the message to the group chat and briefly checking tinder for any new DMs or matches— maybe he could escape this place and turn the night around— to no avail, they pocketed their phone. How annoying. They rolled their eyes and leaned against the wall, taking a slow sip at the drink they’d been nursing for the past hour. Respite wasn’t really a fan of drinking on the best of nights and all they had to offer here was shitty beer. After a moment of pouting and observing the dimly lit room, they turned and parted the dusty, moth-eaten curtain to look out the window again.

If anyone had noticed the way Respite kept flitting out to the porch or the front window, no one said anything. They did try to keep it discreet, at least, and simply worked it into the way they naturally made the rounds every now and then to talk to different people or get another drink. He liked to move around a lot at parties anyways to make sure that he saw everyone's faces and said hi to them all.

On the opposite side of the spectrum was Mettie, who, shortly after arriving and greeting a few people, had taken an edible or something and parked himself outside on the porch. From there, he seemed to be spending most of his time at the party smoking with other people who needed some fresh air and enrapturing (ensnaring?) them with his long-winded conversation. Respite wasn't sure if this had been his goal when agreeing to come to the party, but it had been the result.

It dawned on Respite slowly that they hadn't really seen Mettie at a party like this before. Well, okay— they'd seen Mettie at one or two big house parties in passing, but they'd never actually spent much time watching him. He’d been the dealer for about 75% of their high school (it was a devastating loss to the community when he’d done his year abroad), so it was hard not to run into him from time to time at parties. But in high school, he was mostly regarded as weird and off-putting. People got what they wanted from him and were generally polite, but it wasn't like he was always invited to stick around. And when he was, it did usually end up like this— he'd put himself in a less populated corner somewhere and make puzzling conversation with those willing to listen.

In their hometown, it had felt like everyone else tolerated it because Mettie was a valuable resource. They knew his penchant for rambling, though, and tried not to engage— Respite himself included.

They couldn't place the feeling as they watched Mettie from the window now, with a handful of people gathered around him, held captive by the way he spoke. These people weren't just being polite, either. They were listening— sometimes even smiling and laughing with him. Sure, they were probably stoned too, but that hardly mattered. It's not like this was the first time it had happened since he’d learned Mettie was also attending Strixhaven. At their cafe shift, during orientation, and at the career fair...things were clearly different here.

A couple of years ago, Respite never would've invited Mettie to a house party with him. It would've been social suicide— he knows; he'd thought about it once early on and didn't even get far enough to invite Mettie before the ridicule started up— and though it had taken a lot to fight against their instinct, they needed to test their theory: Did people here actually like Mettie's company? This party seemed to confirm it for the positive.

In Respite's mind, the jury was still out on whether or not Mettie was cool, but at the very least it seemed like no one was going to corner him in the bathroom and interrogate him about why they saw him talking to the freak who looked like he was one bad day away from shooting up the school (untrue, of course, and tasteless in a way only teenagers could be, but Respite had forced out a laugh at the time).

There was a feeling of relief in that. In knowing that neither of them would be under constant scrutiny from peers and adults alike. Being unknown was freeing in some ways.

But there was a dread in it, too. In losing the structure Respite had spent years delicately building the pieces of their identity around.

A memory from when they were kids came to mind unbidden, of the time Respite had accidentally knocked over one of Mettie's earliest sculptures. It had been unsteady and the base made of air-dry clay toppled easily when Respite bumped the dresser in a fit of energetic excitement, sending it crashing to the ground. The roughly attached bits and bobs came loose and scattered across Mettie's bedroom floor, transitioning from art to disjointed pieces without purpose or clarity in an instant.

For what it was worth, Mettie had taken it in stride even as Respite desperately crawled under his bed with a flashlight to gather everything, apologizing and promising to help him glue it back together. After staying quiet for some time, he'd declared it an act of fate that only added to the piece and gave it new meaning. Respite didn't understand, but they'd been so terrified of being yelled at that they nodded in agreement even as their cheeks were pink from crying. They still attempted to fit some of the pieces back together until Mettie insisted they just put it in an empty shoe box so that he could make something new of it. To this day, Respite had no idea if Mettie had ever fixed it, restructured it, or simply left it as a memorial in his closet.

They wrinkled their nose up at the unwarranted assault of a flashback. Clearly they'd been hanging around Mettie too much already if their thoughts were starting to get this metaphorical. He downed the last of his warm beer, hoping the bile on his tongue would force him to refocus on the party.

[aplaceforthesoul]

I'm an (18) year old lesbian, and I have never been in a serious relationship with a woman, only (situation ships) and I'm struggling with my love life. I know I'm young but going on apps like TikTok or just liking girls who've already found that queer happiness has discouraged me and idk what to do, I just want to find love with other women and it's so hard. I'm so lonely in that area of my life.

two things to do, that could help. one - avoid using tik-tok and instagram and the like. if you're seeing content that upsets you, remove it from your immediate environment. or if you still really like using the apps, then unfollow these people for a time. these women aren't doing anything wrong! and your feelings aren't wrong either -- you're just not in a space right now where you can hold space for content like that, and that's ok. prioritise your mental health and well-being.

second - consider joining dating apps, there's a fair few out there that are lgtbq-focused (eg. Her, Bumble, Hinge, Tinder). maybe you'll meet the love of your life on there, maybe not, who knows?! but it's a good way to meet new people who are looking for something similar to you, and a good way to meet other lesbian women if the bar/club scene isn't really your thing.

you’re only 18!!! you’re still so young, I mean that in the kindest and nicest way possible, I really do. when I was 18? I was incredibly financially unstable, unable to let go of a past relationship that was (really) toxic and unhealthy, I didn’t have a lot of aspirations or goals, I was just drifting tbh. I had a lot of negative thoughts and feelings about myself as a result of past relationships, I never would have dreamed that I would be in the circumstances I am now where I’m in a relationship that’s happy and positive and healthy and wholesome :*

you have so much time to figure things out, to meet new people, to have relationships. try to fill the loneliness with wholesome and happy friendships, most the most of opportunities to meet new people and see where it leads. I know how painful it can be to feel lonely and to want a romantic relationship so much it hurts? but all you can really do is take it one day at a time, life has a habit of surprising you in the most unexpected ways xxx

- tash

[thetourguidebarbie]

After the bar i’m going to be on tinder and i want to find a person who cuddles with me without the expectation of sex and initiates kisses on the mouth and is also really hot and those seem like very achievable goals tbh

[profiler-in-courage]

I am humbled 16 people have read my Claes Bang detective bullshit lol. Here is Ch. 2 & 3. Long af as always.

(I have yet to think of a title. Someone send me suggestions plz)

Chapter 2. 

The 7th Precinct was a media frenzy when Emerson pulled up. By 8 am, all the local news outlets had received some tip about the latest murders and it looked like all of them had sent a reporter. 

Emerson scanned the outside of the building, trying to find an entrance that wasn’t guarded by media. He stuffed case files he had taken home into his messenger bag and slung it over his shoulder, ready to walk-sprint. 

He lowered his gaze to the ground. Eye contact was what got you. 

As he reached the sanctuary of a door, he mentally congratulated himself on  avoiding the bombardment of questions he quite frankly, wasn’t prepared to answer. 

He sat his bag on his desk and headed over to Burnham. His sarcastic best friend of seven years always made the morning after a murder less dark.

“Hey Emerson,” Burnham sipped through a mug of milk. 

An unusual quirk about him was that Jacob Burnham simply drank plain milk. Never coffee. 

Whole, 2 percent, 1 percent, nonfat, whatever was in the back office fridge was good enough for him. 

Forty or seven-years-old? Nobody knew Burnham’s true age.

“Forensics came in,” he waved a file at Emerson. “No prints or DNA of any kind, same as always. Christ.”

Burnham shook his dirty blonde head and handed the papers over.

“Fuck Em, we are never going to catch this guy unless he leaves us something.”

Emerson flipped through the forensics report. Like Burnham had described there was nothing of significance. 

“He will eventually slip up, they always do,” he said, trying to be the positive one.

“Did the families have anything to offer?” 

His friend shook his head, “Just the usual. Victims never got into any trouble, well behaved, no enemies. Nothing out of the ordinary. Can’t imagine why anyone would want two 15-year-old girls dead.” 

Emerson’s mind flashed to Abigail. He was afraid for her. She was smart, but he was sure Halley Reece and Melanie Myers had been smart too. Hell, they may have even known his niece. Same high school. 

The image of Abigail lying in a ditch somewhere creeped across his mind. He shut his eyes.

The feeling of dread was slowly worming its way back into his stomach. 

He went back to his desk, dropping the very thin report onto it. 

It barely made a sound. 

He pulled his phone out of his bag. It was the first time he was checking it this morning. 

He was bad at that. 

One text from his sister and one message from Gwyn. 

He opened his sister’s first.

Emerson, the girls they found last night went to Abigail’s school….this just became a little too close for comfort. I almost made her stay home today.

He sighed, not knowing what to say to Eve. Obviously she couldn’t lock Abigail up in the house, the girl had to go to school and have a life. 

You can’t stop living just because of horrors, he thought.

He sympathized with his sister though, he was just as worried for his niece as she was. 

He scratched his eyebrow and opened up Gwyn’s message next. 

G: 203-637-1366

Was that her phone number? He scrolled to see if she had said anything either before or after, but she had not. It was just her phone number. Or so he assumed. 

Quite bold, he thought. But he oddly liked the cut to the chase showing.

“Any luck in that department?” 

Burnham was standing over his shoulder looking down at the open Tinder app.

Emerson slipped the phone into his front pocket, “Not really.”

“I told you to go on that date with Kate’s sister. Who knows, you could be getting laid every night.” Burnham shrugged. 

Emerson scoffed, “Your wife’s sister is 59 remember?”

A stupid smile flashed across Burnham’s face, “Hey but she’s single! And how do you know you don’t like older women?” 

Emerson blinked, at a loss for words. 

“All I’m saying is we could be brother in laws. Take one for the team Em!”

Emerson swiveled to his computer screen.

“I see you enough already,” he grumbled.

Burnham slapped him on the back, laughing softly. 

Emerson poured over the photos on his desk. One of a woman with the soles of her feet skinned to the point where you could see the bone, another with such horrendous strangulation marks around the neck the purple coloration was almost black. Both were women who had been killed by the Creekmore Serial Killer. 

He was deep in thought, trying to see some connection between all the victims, something he did routinely with no success for this case. 

It was like looking at a math problem he didn’t have the formula for. 

The pocket of his dark blue wool button-up buzzed. It was a text from Gwyn. 

G: So what are you looking to get out of a dating app?

Emerson paused before answering, trying to find sufficient words to make “looking to date” sound less horrendous. 

E: Looking to date. What about you?

He figured he may as well just tell the truth. 

G: I’m looking to get absolutely wild in the bedroom. Nothing more, nothing less.

Emerson’s eyebrows sprung up. Maybe he had misjudged Gwyn. He wasn’t looking for just sex. 

Burnham always joked that Emerson should be a priest.

He figured he would wait to respond if he responded at all. The excitement about his new match had been all but snuffed out after her proclamation. 

He pushed his glasses up so they rested on the top of his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He felt the pang of loneliness he sometimes felt when thinking about his love life. 

He missed his wife. He missed having someone to come home to, talk to, feel beside him as he slept. He missed how he was before. 

Ever since Lyla had passed he had been different. Not as cheerful, not as funny, he actually used to be somewhat of a practical joker. 

He had thought his old self would return after the grieving process was done, yet here he was years later and no relief. 

Lack of female interaction certainly wasn’t helping either. 

Emerson sighed. Maybe he should try the one-night-stand thing. Though the thought of it had always felt awkward. 

Why have sex with someone you hardly know? 

His phone vibrated, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

G: Did I scare you off? I was joking btw. 

He let out a small sigh of relief. Ashamed that he was so bad at the whole dating thing that this one match seemed to be the end all be all. 

E: Sorry, was working. He fibbed. But I am glad to see you won’t objectify me for my body.

G: Well, that’s only because I haven’t seen your body. 

Emerson chuckled. He liked her witty remarks. 

How soon was too soon to ask someone on a date? Were there Tinder rules? Did he care? 

Not really. 

E: How would you like to see it? Fully clothed of course. 

He felt his heart rate pick up. He hadn’t felt excited like this in a long time. 

Of course, that’s when Burnham decided to interrupt.

“Those photos telling you anything yet?” he asked. 

Emerson shook his head, “No unfortunately.” 

His friend sat on the edge of the desk, “This fucking bastard leaves no trace. No DNA. Nothing.”

With the lack of info they had that was all Burnham really ever said about it.

Hard to do, thought Emerson. 

He saw his phone vibrate on the desk.

Burnham’s eyes followed his friend’s. 

“So…you sure Tinder isn’t working out for you?”

Emerson rolled his eyes, “Oh Christ.”

After enduring more teasing from Burnham than he would’ve liked, his fellow detective finally left to go bother someone else. 

Despite the torture that had felt like he was being waterboarded, Emerson had not let anything slip about his potential date. 

Not all things were meant to be shared among friends, not yet anyway. Besides, he had only started talking to her last night. Everyone needed to relax, him included. 

He opened her message. 

G: I would love to. Name a time and place and I’m there.

Chapter 3. 

Coffee. That wasn’t too casual and not too formal right? Or so Emerson hoped. 

So here he sat at some local place downtown. Waiting and a bit nervous. 

He heard the door open and he saw her. His eyes followed hers as she looked around for her date. 

He lifted his finger slightly. 

“Well isn’t this a pleasant surprise,” she said as she sat down across from him. 

Emerson tilted his head in confusion, “What do you mean?” 

She smirked, “That you look exactly like your photos.” 

“Oh,” he chuckled. “Have you been on many dates where that wasn’t the case?” 

She ran a hand through her long hickory colored hair, “More than I’d like.” 

Gwyn looked exactly as she had in her photos too. Emerson hadn’t even considered the possibility that she wouldn’t. 

Which he probably should have considering he met her online. 

He studied her. She was staring at him, looking him up and down. He smiled, amused. 

“Would you like a drink?” he asked. 

“I would,” she said. 

Emerson waited for her to say what she wanted. A few seconds went by. 

This is awkward, he thought as his eyes darted from side to side. 

He cleared his throat. 

“What would you like?...” he asked.

Gwyn smiled mischievously, “You're a detective. Read me. What do you think my order is?”

Interesting, he thought. 

He tilted his head slightly, finally drinking in everything about the woman who was across from him. 

She was wearing a tight black turtleneck, dark blue jeans, and a silver chain-linked bracelet. 

Her makeup was simple, she didn’t need much of it. She was naturally beautiful. Her hair had a shine to it and it curled into a slight wave. 

She had with her a plain black satchel. Big enough to fit only a wallet and a phone and possibly a few other womanly essentials. 

She was simple. But, sophisticated. At least that is what her appearance told him. 

Emerson remembered that her bio had said she was an artist. Which must mean she was somewhat serious about coffee. Not the frappuccino type. 

But, there was a softness to her. She didn’t appear to take herself too seriously, judging from her text messages. 

So probably not black coffee. 

Gwyn waited patiently for him to finish his assessment. A hint of a smile on her lips. 

“I think I got it,” Emerson said as he turned to walk towards the counter. 

“Hi, can I get one iced hazelnut latte and one hot Americano with cream please,” he told the barista. 

Emerson turned to look back at Gwyn. She was far enough away so she wouldn't have heard the order. 

He wanted to see her shock when she found out he was right. He was certain he was. 

He smiled to himself. 

He walked back to their table with the drinks. Gwyn was sitting looking bemused. Her legs crossed, her eyes following his every move.

“So, what did you decide for me?” she asked. 

Her voice was soft. He liked it. It reminded him of the way a stream sounds in a quiet forest.

Emerson said nothing. Just simply handed her the drink. 

Her eyes sparkled as she took it from his hand. Her gaze holding his. 

For a moment, he thought he might have gotten her wrong. 

Gwyn took a sip of the Americano and raised her eyebrows. 

He could tell she was trying to hide her amazement. She didn’t want to give him complete satisfaction and he liked that. She was fun.  

“Well Detective Woods, I suppose you are very good at your job then,” she smiled. 

Emerson beamed.

“Only a little,” he said as he took a sip of his latte. 

Gwyn let out a small laugh, shaking her head, “Is it too soon to say I already want to see you again and this date has been what, 10 minutes?” 

He looked at her over his straw. He felt the same. 

He felt something. For the first time since his wife.

“Now let me do you,” she said. 

Emerson paused, “What…”

“Let me read you,” said Gwyn, sipping her coffee. 

He sat back, trying to hide a smile, “Alright.”

Gwyn rubbed the bottom of her chin with her thumb as she studied the man across from her. 

He was handsome, that much was obvious. Rugged around the edges but not sharp, which was good. It made him look kind. 

He was wearing a grey quarter-zip pullover sweater, the beginnings of a burgundy collared shirt peeking out. His tortoise shell glasses made him look like he could be walking the halls of Oxford and be at home. 

Faded dark green pants with...were those cowboy boots? Interesting. 

So he wasn’t from Connecticut. 

The eyes behind the glasses were dark yet welcoming. A few days old stubble coated his face. 

His hair, thank god he had a full head of it, was dark. Perfectly styled in the ever popular comb over. 

It was too long for him to be ex-military but short enough that she could tell he liked things neat. Gwyn couldn’t quite tell if it was black or just a very dark shade of brown. 

Luckily they were seated by a window and he moved ever so slightly so that a ray of sunshine hit him. 

Midnight brown, was that a color? It was now. Silver bits were beginning to show their glint throughout Emerson’s hair.

If she was being honest he didn’t look like a police detective. They usually were only this good looking in movies. He could have been a writer or a professor that female students day dreamed about. 

The cowboy boots were throwing her off. 

Was he Texan? 

She didn’t remember hearing an accent, but then again they had only said a few sentences to each other. 

And yet, she knew she wanted a second date. She needed to impress him. She didn’t know she already had.

“Judging from your boots you aren’t from here, I’ll be generic and guess Texas?”

He nodded, waiting for Gwyn to continue. 

“You’re smart, otherwise you wouldn’t be a detective and you most certainly would not have gotten my order right. You're patient, you would have to be to be willing to sit here right now and listen to me.” 

Emerson chuckled, taking another sip of his latte. 

Gwyn continued, “Your eyes are hard but your face is gentle. You have seen and been through monstrous things but you don’t let it affect your character. You’re quiet, which leads me to believe you’re polite. Which is good because I can’t stand loud boisterous men.” 

Emerson leaned forward. He hadn’t expected her to be this good. 

“Between the way you look and my expectation that you are a good man, you must be single for a reason. So, I am guessing your ex either was unfaithful or died.” 

Gwyn was blunt. Emerson didn’t know how he felt about that. 

He scratched his cheek, “She passed away.”

Gwyn looked down at the table, confidence leaving her for only a moment. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. 

Emerson shrugged, “But you were right.” 

Gwyn smiled softly. 

He could tell she enjoyed being right. Though not with a haughty arrogance. He respected that. 

“And how did you learn to read people so well? Are you an ex detective?” he asked, amused. 

Gwyn twirled a strand of hair in her fingers, “It’s not hard to see what people project.” 

Emerson smirked, nodding. 

Oh she’s very smart, he thought. 

They talked for hours after conducting their own way of breaking the ice. Gwyn could now hear the hint of an accent. 

They discussed movies, music, food, books, especially books. 

She liked nonfiction. He preferred fiction. 

Emerson was entranced with the way Gwyn spoke. Her words were light but intelligent. And she held eye contact. 

She had already assessed why he was single. So why was she?

He continued to study her. 

Her posture was welcoming, her sentences were flirtatious, but her expressions were guarded. 

Guarded meant she had been hurt before. Most likely multiple times. 

Though with an open posture, not physically. 

He couldn’t detect anything to signify she was nervous. She hadn’t been the entire date. She was confident. She could have anyone she wanted. 

So why didn’t she? 

“Figured me out yet?” she asked, pulling Emerson out of his thoughts. 

He looked down, embarrassed. 

“Not quite,” he smiled.

“Good. I need you at least intrigued enough for a second date,” she said. 

“Possibly more,” said Emerson, playfully reaching.

“Possibly,” Gywn responded, her eyes dancing.

She leaned forward on the small circular table. 

“Emerson Woods you are something.”

He winked. It made her laugh. 

“As much as I would love to talk with you all day, I should be going,” she said. 

Emerson nodded. He probably should too. They had spent nearly three hours in this coffee shop. 

“I’ll walk you to your car,” he said, wanting every second he could with her. 

She turned to him, placing her hand lightly on his shoulder. 

“Oh there is no need. I took an Uber, car’s in the shop after a very nasty old woman felt the need to rear end me.” 

Emerson laughed. He could offer her a ride. Should he?

“Would you like me to track her down for you? I could probably find something to pin on her,” he said, glancing down at where her hand had just been. 

She giggled, rolling her eyes, “Could you please? She’s costing me 400 dollars.”

They walked outside. It was overcast and there was a slight breeze. Emerson watched her hair lift in the wind. 

Before she could take out her phone to call an Uber, Emerson walked over to the passenger side of his car that was parked along the curb. He opened it. 

“I promise you’ll have a more enjoyable experience with me rather than someone you don’t know. If you’ll allow me.”

Gwyn bit her bottom lip, raising her eyebrows, “But I don’t know you. Not really.” 

Emerson paused. She was right. Three hours of conversation didn’t exactly mean they knew each other. And with the Creekmore Serial Killer making headlines for months, she was probably wise to refuse him. 

“I suppose that’s true,” he said. “Though I am a policeman,” he kept his hand on the door handle. 

She bopped her head from side to side, feigning weighing her options. 

“Can I rate you if you're a bad driver?” she joked, stepping over to the car.

Emerson chuckled, “I promise to be extra careful with you.”

[justkeepdancing-nemo]

2022 Resolutions!

Write your RPer Resolutions for 2022! (What are some goals for yourself as a writer? Improve descriptions? Plot with more members? Etc.)

-Plot with more members. Definitely this one! I think I do a good job rping with everyone, but I do a lot of one-offs, or spontaneous interactions if that makes sense. I could definitely improve on widening who I reach out to for specific plots. 

-Post more plot calls. That being said…maybe this is just one way to get at that second goal! Normally if I have an idea, I think about who could fit and then approach that person directly. Which is perfectly fine haha. But in the future I’d like to throw more ‘open plot calls’ out. I’ve definitely written more opens in general this year and loved what came out of it, so I think using the plot call discord will be super helpful to energizing my RP! 

-Post more one shots. I think I say this every year lol. And I mean, I did write a couple of things last year…but it’s an important goal of mine to have since writing long form is definitely a muscle I don’t want to lose. So yes, definitely want to do even more and not let my good ideas just remain in my head. 

-Get a character with super weird magic. This really might not happen this year– in fact I’m pretty sure it won’t, though I guess never say never lol. I’ve had this thought while watching MHA and also Clem mentioned the other day in a tag that we have a lot of the same magick types– which is totally fine btw and I find fascinating because I like exploring different facets of magic, like fairies or sorcerers. But I am kinda curious about getting a ‘gifted’ with a super off the wall power and examine THAT now. I have no solid idea about it at all lol but it’s just something I want to keep in mind while going forward! 

Write at least one resolution, or “goal,” that you have as an RPer for your character(s)

I feel like I usually write broad goals here like, idk, confront your trauma lol, so I am going to be super specific in my goals, very plot centric and actionable 

Berlioz: Do. The. Opening. Of. The. Groove. Room. please god. 

Hades: Make one (1) new relationship/friendship (??????) this year! 

Merida: Get her on TINDER!!! That sounds insane but fun lmfao

Ashleigh: Write Ashleigh her own one-shot :) 

Nemo: I want to do this London audition arc so I really gotta make moves on that lmfao so the resolution is london audition arc

Jun: Write two (2) new petitions! :) 

Olaf: I’d like for him to be put into a difficult spot as an RA. This feels like an open plot call opportunity. It would be cool if he has to be stern/be bad cop etc. 

Atta: I’d like to rp her at more events, specifically town hall ones. 

Pip: Write a pip one-shot too. I literally have it in my brain and i just keep not doing it and he deserves better ://////// 

Chip: Fail at one RAS mission. Succeed at one RAS mission! 

Amity: Complete the plot I have in mind by prom. Also, kiss a girl. WHOOPS i said it. 

Snow: Do a cool ass necromantic ritual hollaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 

Write at least one resolution IN CHARACTER for your characters. What do THEY want to accomplish or change in the New Year?

Berlioz: he wants to cook more! This is kind of surprising but tbh the ask lins sent me made me think about Ber’s growth in this aspect and it’s kind of cute??? I think he’s starting to enjoy not being as useless and wants to be able to cook Simba some meals. 

Hades: Be The Best Mayor Ever lmfao. 

Merida: hang out with her friends more. This is very sweet of her i think she really does wanna make up for lost time. 

Ashleigh: Punish her enemies. This is very sweet of her also, in her own way. 

Nemo: Like always Nemo has lots of goals: 

Get into Uni!

Work on his spring solo! 

Treat his boyfriends to something nice (bc he likes doing this now i have learned)

Work on arch 

Jun: jun is way too tired to think of these. Probably something generic like ‘make family proud’ or something tbh. ‘Make eomma happy’ :/ 

Olaf: Improve the social events on the hall! ^.^ 

Atta: don’t fuck up lmfao this was funny atta you’re a hoot 

Pip: 

Get into uni! (This is where Pip and Nemo as foils really shines) 

Get the lead in the summer play! 

Improve the Spill’s numbers and engagement 

Help Tad get into uni (oof) 

Chip: Get assigned to a real RAS case!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take it cradle to grave! 

Amity: don’t fuck up lmfao glad you and atta are on the same page haha my poor women 

Snow: 

Make new friends, dead or undead. :) 

Double the inn’s bookings! 

Start hosting small events! 

Keep working on her necromantic rituals! Practice makes perfect! 

List one or more characters you have never interacted with that you would like to do so

Nimble! Ashley and I have talked about Nimble/Ashleigh we just havent gotten around to it. But he seems dope and I would love to also rp him with Snow probably! 

Dian! Would also like to rp him with Snow. Sorry that a lot of these are going to be like this. 

Jessica Rabbit. See above! They can be friends and I think Snow can help her also. 

Toby Determined– i have actually interacted with him sorry but i just really love him and think he could be super funny to keep throwing at Jun and also maybe Snow as she tries to drum up interest in the inn

Isaac Morey– again snow!!! Yeesh sorry its where my brain has been most immediately but to be fair I really have rped with most of these characters before lmfao BUT NOT ISAAC! His magic is also SUPER cool i just think he’s neat. 

Plotting Exercise! Pick one of the resolutions/goals in #2 and plan a rough guideline to how you could accomplish it. Here’s an example.

Nemo’s Audition Arc: 

Nemo gets his invitation to audition for the The Dance Academy in London!! Nemo x one of his friends just to bring some diversity here. 

Nemo goes to London with Appa: The Baes. Might be two paras. No spoilers. 

Aftermath of audition: Nemo/ashlee.

That was sooooo easy it was cheating basically i just know i have to do it like NOW lmfao so i wanted to get it on paper. Ok i’ll do another one 

Chip Mission: 

Chip x Barbie: talks about the Sora thing 

Chip x Roxas x Soft: gathers more information 

Chip x Gil: officially assigned the case 

Chip x Dale: plots their plan 

Chip x Dale: executes plan and it doesnt work! 

Chip x Gil x Barbie: debrief for lessons learned

[albarivas]

ana de armas, cis female, she/her    —    whenever i see alba rivas meandering down agnes street la escalera by pablo alborán starts to play inside my head. maybe it is the vibe they give off. bullet journals, colorful dresses, hairstyles with bandanas ;   you know ? artistic impressions is what keeps them interested in agnes. i heard they are a thirty-three year old teacher at bright future. they look like the kind of person who would make you do a vision board. 

hi again, it’s ella again. okay so i had cameron (the lily james) but tbh she’s a new muse and right now i don’t have the brain to develop a muse from scratch but i still want to write and that’s why i decided to bring alba, one of my oldest muses. i’m so happy to give her a new home and i can’t wait for her to meet all of your characters.

basics

NAME: alba carolina rivas borges

NICKNAME: al, albie

GENDER: cis female

PLACE OF BIRTH: boca raton, florida

DATE OF BIRTH: april 19, 1988

AGE: thirty-thirty

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual

OCCUPATION: teacher at bright future

background

tw: illness, cheating

CHILDHOOD

her story starts between cuba and spain. her mother, carolina, fled from cuba and her father immigrated from spain with no friends or family and only with a few dollars. the two newcomers were matched by fate and just a year later they welcomed their daughter, alba.

two years later, a son completed the rivas family. they didn’t have much and often had to deal with homesickness and many times they considered moving to spain, but eventually they decided to stay.

it was a big change for both julián and carolina. he used to work as a lawyer back in spain and carolina had almost graduated from med school. now in the united states they both had to start from zero.

her mother traveled an hour from boca raton to palm spring every day where she worked cleaning those luxurious houses.  her father got his credentials to become a spanish teacher and taught in the local high school.

alba always knew she didn’t have much. she grew up going with her mom to those huge houses and from a young age she understood what wealth could buy. however, alba never envied those who had a lot more than her. in fact, her childhood best friend was the girl that lived in the house her mother cleaned. the two were inseparable.

ADOLESCENCE AND COLLEGE YEARS

alba excelled as a student. education was something her parents always deemed as important and so she made it her goal to make them proud. 

she earned a spot in a prestigious public high school. as a teenager, she was the model child. always listening to her parents, rarely giving them problems. she had an active social life, she went on a couple of dates and she was part of several groups.

these qualities eventually earned her a place at nyu. moving to new york was something she’d never considered. she liked florida, and her family were there but her parents convinced her that this would be a great opportunity and that she could comeback.

becoming a teacher was her ambition. she admired her father for doing it and she knew from a young age that she wanted to teach children. 

to make ends meet, she got a job as a waitress and she really didn’t have a social life as she worked and studied full time. there was no time for friendship and even less time for dating.

it was during one day at work that she met someone that changed her life. she met another student while she was working who asked her out but she refused, however, he came back and did the same thing every night until one day she finally accepted.

one date turned into two and then three until soon people couldn’t see one without the other. most people thought they wouldn’t last, their personalities and values were too different. he came from a wealthy family, the typical spoiled kid that was set to inherit his parents’ fortune someday, the one that always featured on page six with a different woman every night. meanwhile, alba came from a working-class family, daughter of immigrants who always had to work to get what she had in life. despite the skepticism, they proved everyone wrong.

at twenty-two, alba graduated with a degree in early childhood education and began working as a teacher.

ADULTHOOD

her relationship with this guy (i dont have a name for him lmao) was better than ever and after dating for three years, he proposed and alba said yes as she was convinced she’d found her other half.

however, not everything was perfect. his family didn’t like her and things only got worse after they got engaged. the couple married only a year later. they left new york and moved to florida where they bought one of those houses alba always had dreamed to have and the best part is that they were neighbors with her childhood best friend.

but all good things must come to an end, and soon her fairytale turned into a nightmare. the relationship with her in-laws was awful which eventually caused tension in their marriage. they began to fight more often and he started to spend more time at his office than at home. however, she was determined to make their marriage work, a love like theirs couldn’t end like this, she wouldn’t allow it.

tw cheating: one day, alba returned to their home early and what she saw was heartbreaking. there he was, in bed with none other but her childhood best friend. heartbroken, alba refused to accept any of his excuses and immediately filed for divorce, to the joy of her in-laws. end of tw.

after her divorce, alba moved to california where she started a year course at stanford. she planned to stay there but that when she received news from home.

tw illness: her father was very sick, and her parents had decided to move to islebury, rhode island. without anything holding her back, she packed up her stuff and moved here as well so she could help her mother with her dad. end of tw.

she’s been living here for three years now and works as a teacher at bright future.

personality

She has the ability to see the good in almost anyone or anything and tends to sympathize with even the most unfriendly person. She often hides the extreme depth of feelings from her, even from herself, until circumstances elicit a passionate response. 

She has a deep sense of idealism that comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong. She sees the world as a place full of possibilities and potentials and is governed by her intuition. She is quite reserved and is not easily manipulated.

She is a good listener and considerate, they try to care for and understand others in a deep way. She can be very calm and intuitive with the people around her, being able to search for hidden meanings in the actions and words of others.

Of course, all of life is not rosy and Alba is not exempt from suffering the same disappointments and frustrations that are common to others. She tends to be a perfectionist and often strives for personal ideals that can be exhausting or very difficult to obtain.

headcanons

she’s a bookworm. her favorite book is the persuasion by jane austen

she speaks fluent spanish

alba has a beautiful white persian cat named nube

she loves wearing bandanas in her hair

claims she’s allergic to strawberries, she’s not. she just hates them and that’s easier than explaining why

connections

Younger brother: I’m gonna make a wanted connection because I love this dynamic. He is two years younger than her and she adores him. She tries to stay in touch with him and in general, they are close.

Ex-best friend: they met as children and grew up together, they knew everything about the other. alba’s mother worked as a housekeeper and she used to go with her sometimes, that’s how they met. this person came from a different background, she lived in one of those expensive houses alba could only dream to own. their friendship was so strong that they even applied to the same university (although her friend was not accepted). alba considered this person as the sister she never had, but then she did the worst thing in the world, she slept with alba’s husband. they haven’t spoken since she found out.

Ex-husband: They divorced two years ago, after alba found out he had been cheating on her with her best friend. they met while she was a student at NYU and were together for three years before getting engaged and married. he comes from a wealthy family, the typical perfect american family. their relationship was never approved by his parents. she hasn’t spoken to him since the divorce.

Best Friendish: Okay, so this is a tricky one because her actual best friend turned into Judas and slept with her husband, but maybe this person is the closest she has to a best friend. she trusts this person and since her divorce, this is the only person that she has been able to speak without limitations.

Bad influence: Alba has never been one to go to many parties or even to drink, but this person is the only one that can convince her to have a good time.

Co-workers/Parents: She works as a teacher at bright future, maybe your character works there or their kids go/went there.

Neighbor: self-explanatory

Unlikely friendship: The two have different personalities, but somehow, both have managed to get along and form a weird friendship.

Hook ups: She’s not really the relationship kind bc she’s always busy but once in a while she hooks up with people ghdghdhgd (open to everyone)

Flirtationship: they act like friends, but cannot help to throw flirty looks or comments at each other.

Unrequited: It could go either way, I’m fine to plot it out. I’m an angst hoe sooo

Bad tinder date: after her divorce, her friends tried to set her up with someone but it didn’t go well. There was nothing wrong about her date, but she wasn’t ready and in the end it was a very uncomfortable situation for them.

One night stand: she was drunk, he/she was drunk too. They didn’t plan it but happened and now whenever they see each other in town it’s a bit awkward.

[starliightxo]

JAPAN INTERVIEW - Cameron Shaw

WHO ARE YOU?

what’s your star sign? ---

what’s your favourite holiday? Springs fest

what colour are your eyes? Brown

if i went on to your spotify right now, your most played song would be what? Some kind of k pop thingy

do you read much? My mum would disown me if I didn't lol

where did you grow up? Cotswolds

when it comes to siblings; are you oldest, middle, youngest or only child? Only child (adopted)

what were you like in high school? Pretty much the same as I was now I think? Maybe a bit more outgoing

if you could be any magical creature, what would you be? A dragon is the only acceptable answer

where is your happy place? You can find a happy place anywhere if you try hard enough

can you tell us about a hobby you have that has NOTHING to do with your career? I read

CAREER STUFF

which academy do you attend? West ivys

do you have a routine that gets you in the right frame of mind for work? Not really, I don't think I'm ever in the right frame of mind for it lol

can you give us some insight into your next big project? Absolutely not

if you weren’t at a talent academy, what occupation would you be working towards? My mum's working towards opening a book shop or library of sorts. I'd help with that

are you a ‘work hard, play hard’ or a ‘work hard, sleep hard’ type? Work hard sleep hard

what’s your proudest moment in your career so far? The look on my mum's face when I told her I got into an academy

do you remember where you were when you realised you were accepted into your academy? I was at school

did you get rejected from any academies? do you care anymore? I don't remember

what is your DREAM achievement? Making my mum proud

finish the sentence: “when it comes to my career, my goal is to make sure that...” ^^ I do my mum's proud

SPILL THE TEA

are you single or taken? Single

what’s your snapchat score? High asf

read us your last received text... "You're a huge liar ❤"

would you ever date a fan? Sure

how could somebody go about getting your attention? I can talk about anything even if I know nothing about it so it isn't too hard

have you ever stalked an exes socials? No

have you ever stalked an exes new partners socials? No

which song best describes your last crush or relationship? What a man gotta do jonas brothers

have you ever used tinder? Yeah

who on tour would you most like to see naked? Thea

who’s the most annoying person on tour? Me

which person on tour would you NOT let your hypothetical son or daughter date? Me lmao

what’s the grossest thing you’ve ever done? Plenty

have you ever peed in the shower? Duh

who is one person on tour that you trust more than anything? Lottie

BRING ON THE FUN

what kind of drunk are you? Mellow

if you could spend a day inside one movie, which would it be and why? Pineapple Express

if you could have any piece of music play whenever you entered a room, what would it be? Like a G6 still goes hard

everybody has ONE word tattooed on their head that most describes who they are, what does yours say? Useless

if i came round your house for a dinner date, what would you cook me? Tea

do you have any guilty pleasures or weaknesses? Weed I'm not gonna lie

say a word that you HATE the sound of... puss

what is one country you have no desire to visit that other people do? I'd be happy to stay in one place tbh as long as it's got a beach

if you could rename yourself, what would your name now be? Princess Consuela Bananahammock

if these were your famous last words, what would you say? Still waiting for the Friends reunion

[rorysfm]

hllo demons n nerds ! i’m sage, coming 2 u live frm the est gutters! i am... v excited to be here but i am literally the worst at intros so i’m jus gonna diiiiive right into rory below ! 

(ISABELLA JONES, CISFEMALE) - Have you seen AURORA LEBLANC? RORY is in HER SOPHOMORE year. The DANCE AND SOCIOLOGY MAJOR is 19 years old & is a LIBRA. People say SHE is LIVELY, MAGNETIC, IMPULSIVE and UNRELIABLE. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog that HER PARENTS ARE COVERING UP THAT SHE WAS KICKED OUT OF YALE FOR PLAGIARISM AND NO OTHER IVY WOULD ACCEPT HER, SO THEY BOUGHT HER WAY INTO YATES

ok,  so.. rory is a brand new muse of mine so.. pls bare w me while i sort her out. if u want to skip the mess below & just vibe check her.. here’s her pinterest!

BACKGROUND

born and raised in greenwood, south carolina to oliver and lauren leblanc. her parents were high school sweethearts who were voted most likely to get married and have a dozen kids running around

they stopped at 2 because they jus... their kids were a handful but rory will tell you they stopped after her bc they hit perfection :~) 

her mom’s family teetered between lower-middle class, her mom entering a bunch of pageants to bring in some extra cash for them. 

her dad’s side on the other hand, is where all the connections are baby!!

the leblancs come from a long long line of being wrapped up in the political world. governors, members of the state senate, mayors, advisers... you name it - a leblanc has had that position. 

her dad’s goals were no different than the rest of his family’s ... some would say even bigger bc he wants to do what no other leblanc was able to do, which is... run for president. (yes hello.. rory as the future first daughter?)

growing up her parents were honestly... not the best. like above all else they put oliver’s career above their kids and it wasn’t not being there for an important recital, or a parent-teacher night; it was being there for all the wrong reasons.

 every little thing they did was calculating to make the leblancs look like the perfect family. hugs and words of encouragement loud enough to filter through the room aimed at their darling children only for them to turn cold and criticise every single thing they did wrong as soon as they got into the car. it was pretty clear that oliver and lauren were a team, and their kids were just props. 

when rory was 12, lauren started making monthly appointments at the hair salon to dye rory’s hair blonde... she had a standing appointment every tenth of the month to have her roots touched up

rory’s mom jus rly... pushed rory on her looks and enrolled her in pageants, debutante balls, anything that showed off rory’s looks... lauren pushed her towards it.

rory and her brother declan stayed in their hometown for school until college bc their parents thought it made them look like more of wholesome family so instead of sending them off to boarding schools in london or new york, they opted for private schools in south carolina

both of them were of course pushed into going to well renowned schools, their grandfather had pushed them into going to yates since he, himself had been part of calloway and they were practically legacies and while declan followed thru with it... rory watched the cinderella story one too many times and like hilary duff..... sis went to princeton for political science!!!

only it ended up in flames bc tbh she was like a bull in a china shop, the freedom of not having her parents around to judge every single thing she did? or pushing her into doing things she hated? she od’d on FREEDOM. rory rly just did her own thing, kinda spiralled out of control.. never hard drugs but lots of drinking and partying.

she ended up getting put on probation and was flunking nearly every course. the pressure really got to her (like she knew her parents would get involved if you got kicked out or if she failed all her courses) so she ended up plagiarising an essay ... but gueSS what!! she was caught and her parents got involved anyways.

her parents ended up being able to keep things ... quiet by paying off the teacher that had caught her. the dean also agreed to stay mum about it (after accepting a hefty cheque), so nothing ever went of her record, nothing would ever be documented of this mishap.

but... it’s likely people still talk and while rumors can’t be proven, it still stopped rory from getting into yale, harvard and columbia when she tried

finally with her grandfather’s pull and the promise to build yates a new library with the next 5 years... rory was accepted just as declan had graduated. 

PRESENT

pulled up to yates in her vintage baby blue mercedes benz convertible from the 60′s

she’s brand new to yates, and switched out of political science.

out of all the activities and hobbies that her parents tried to push her into, dance was the only one she actually enjoyed doing and fell in love with 

her parents let her major in it, as long as she did a double major.. so sis took sociology because why not?

spent her summer dancing with the new york ballet company in their production of a midsummer’s night dream. 

honestly.. loved it but also was lowkey bummed out she missed out on a proper summer

right before declan had graduated, rory had come up for a campus tour and ended up partying at yates for a weekend

probably got herself into a bit of trouble, and probably made a nice little impression on a few people!

PERSONALITY

honestly.. chaotic good. she’s always been a little more on the wilder side than declan.. a little more carefree and daring and just always needed to be told to behave

in fact has a tattoo that says BEHAVE  on her forearm, that she got one night back in princeton. 

that said, she’s very good at playing her part in the family

dubbed as the golden girl... bc she is just that kind of girl that has a magnetic pull to her, a smile that could combat the sun and just naturally very charming and genuinely nice?? very good a convincing you without being manipulative about it

does only angel by harry styles play when she walks in the room? possibly.

the kind of girl that you spend weeks thinking about after one (1) conversation

still gets her hair dyed blonde the 10th of every month, bc her mother has convinced her she is just not meant to be a brunette :/ 

honestly.. she’s insecure abt a lot of things because of her mom  :/

has really great posture and etiquette from all those pageant days. also really good at making cranes out of dinner napkins from being bored at functions her parents forced her to go to

would probably throw hands if she caught someone talking badly abt her brother bc she’s protective of him

very much a hopeless romantic, gets heart eyes very easily and likes to chase until it isn’t fun anymore and falls in love with multiple people a day. 

tragically likes country music :/

promised her brother she wld.. try to be good and stay out of trouble but i reckon.... she won’t plagiarize an essay ever again but everything else? the partying? fair game.

CONNECTIONS

tbh i will take anything yall will give me... i am @ ur service serving rory on a silver platter to u

i’m also big on chemistry so we can just see where things go as well since rory is new to yates this could be fun!!

a few people she met while she was visiting last year.. someone she clicked with and they stayed in touch, maybe someone she flirted with but doesn’t remember then (even tho she’ll pretend she does!), someone she hooked up with perhaps? someone she spent all night talking to? 

a brother’s friend she’s met a couple times? 

good influence/bad influence

family friends

family rivals

cousins could be fun

a roommate

a tutor?

tinder matches? hook ups, flirtationship .. anything angsty!!

friends!! pleathe i will take them all.. a girl squad would also be quite fun!

ok.. that’s all tht my lil brain can come up with.. im sorry this is so long and such a mess but hmu if you’d like to plot!! 

[dcrbyalbright]

YATES UNIVERSITY || TASK 003

BASICS

Full Name: Darby Jane Albright

Meaning of Name: “Deer”. Her parents couldn’t agree on whether to name her Darby or Jane for the first few weeks of her life and her father won so now only her mother calls her Jane when she’s had a few Xanax 

Nickname: Darbs

Birth Date: December 11, 1999

Astrological Sign and Details: Saggiterrorist. Tbh it speaks for itself.

Birth Place: A hospital in Manhattan, New York.

Age: 21

Nationality: American

Race: White

Hair Color: Light brown.

Hair Style: Usually wavy and tangled, she frequently forgets to brush it.

Distinct Features of Face: Large blue eyes

Glasses or Contacts: NAh

Eye Color: Light blue

Scars or Distinguishing Marks: White scars on her left knee from when she fell down the stairs on molly and landed on broken glass, more on the palm from where she aught herself

Build or Body Type: Slim, tall.

Height: 5′7

Weight: 114

Speech Patterns: She falls into a vocal fry when she’s drunk but otherwise she has a clear speech pattern

Gestures: Talks with her hands when she’s excited, runs her hand through her hair often

Weakness: Her impulsivity 

FAMILY AND CHILDHOOD

Mother: Harriet Albright

Father: Lucas Albright

Mother’s Occupation: Unemployed alcoholic socialite

Father’s Occupation: US Senator for the state of New York

Family Finances: Verrrrrrry very wealthy. Her mother’s family were oil tycoons and Lucas has old money as well. 

Birth Order: Middle child

Brothers: James Albright (deceased)

Sisters: Eleanor “Leo” Albright

Other Close Family: Saffie Albright, and her aunt on her mother’s side, Georgina Albright. She’s considered kind of like the eccentric of the family, has never had a job and blows her inheritance away traveling the world and paying for psychics. Darby ran away to Georgina’s apartment frequently as a child and would sit and listen to her stories about shamans while Georgina pounded Negronis.

Best Friend: Anita de Jesus, Syre Salinger, Ellie Aldenkamp.

Other Friends: Drew Upston, Orpheus Rivera

Enemies: Formerly Leo lmao. Saf is on thin ice.

Pets: Her parents never let her have one but freshman year she had a goldfish named Billy Joel that died after a week.

Home Life During Childhood: Uhhhhh TERRIBLE. Her parents never liked her and James was always the family favorite. Darby was the rebellious one, and after her brother died things ust fell apart. Leo left, and suddenly Darby was all on her own to deal with her cold, strict father and her mother’s drug abuse. Darby started popping her mom’s pills during this time and no one even noticed the girl slipping into addiction until she made a drunken toast as a benefit party detailing everyone in the room she had hooked up with. After that, her father just pretended like Darby didn’t exist.

Town or City Name(s) Where They’ve Lived: New York, Amsterdam (briefly, after she took a a semester off)

What Did His, Her or Their Bedroom Look Like: A mix of expensive mid-century modern furniture all chosen carefully by New York’s top interior decorator and sprinkles of her rebellion. Clothes everywhere, her antique dressed paper-mached with magazine clippings, music spilling out of a record player she hauled from the antique collection in their basement. Drugs hidden in various shoes and secret hiding spaces in between books. Towering stacks of novels and literary works.

Any Sports or Clubs: She was on the cheerleading team briefly but got kicked off when she was found doing whippets in hr private school bathroom and nearly got expelled 

Favorite Toy or Game: She actually liked Monopoly she’s secretly competitive as hell

Schooling: Private schools that she excelled even though she rarely attended class

Favorite Subject: English

Popular or Loner: Popular

Important Experiences or Events: Her brother’s death, watching her mom’s addiction, Leo leaving her.

Health Problems: A drug addiction that she’s precariously sober from

Religion and beliefs: Raised going to church even though neither her or her father believe in anything but it Looks Good yknow

PERSONAL

Bad Habits: Biting her nails, not brushing her hair, shoplifting things she doesnt need and could pay for

Best Characteristic: Charming

Worst Characteristic: Stubborn

Worst Memory: The day James died in the hospital

Best Memory: Probably running around Central Park playing hide and seek with James and Leo.

Proud of: Her sobriety, her spot as he debate team captain at Yates

Embarrassed by: Her lack of ability to commit to anything, whether that’s a person or sobriety

Driving Style: Erratic, as she never formerly learned how to drive but instead taught herself (NY kids yknow)

Attitude: Pessimistic, nihilistic

Fears: Ending up like her mother

Secrets: The hit and run her and Anita were responsible for, the death she inadvertently caused when she shared bad drugs with her dealer last year. 

Regrets: Her tense relationship with her sister all these years

Feels Vulnerable When: She feels out of control, when her past is brought up, when people try to get her to open up

Short Term Goals and Hopes: uhhhh I guess just keep passing her classes? Lmao she’s just trying to graduate

Long Term Goals and Hopes: Can’t picture herself living in five years but if she does she wants to finally write a novel

Sexuality: Pansexual

Day or Night Person: Night person

Introvert or Extrovert: Extrovert

Optimist or Pessimist: Pessimist

LIKES AND PREFERENCES

Music: Fleetwood Mac, Billy Joel (cheesy ik), Neil Young. Anything her brother used to play for her

Foods: Twizzlers

Drinks: Gin and tonic

Color: Very very very light blue

Jewelry: the vintage rings Georgina brings to her whenever she visits

Greatest Want: No one look at her she just wants to be loved

Greatest Need: Uh to find stability lmao

LIFESTYLE

Favorite Possession: Her record player

Married Before: Nah

Children: NO

Relationship with Family: Tense and critical

Car: Does not have one

Dream Career: Unemployed woman who lounges around all day while men bring her things and she writes occasionally to great fanfare

Love Life: A MESS she keeps falling for people who like someone else someone hold her :/ secretly she always goes for unavailable people

Hobbies: Making “collages”, reading, writing, fucking people from Tinder

Talents or Skills: Uh she can open champagne with a sword??

[bitchesofostwick]

19, 21, 22, 25, 36, 40 for nosy anons. :)

thanks! :)

19. a fact about your personality: even though i can get emotionally charged sometimes, i tend to be pretty level-headed and pragmatic under most conditions.

21. what I love most about myself: i’m not a person of many friends, but i consider myself a very good and loyal friend.

22. what I want to be when I get older: idk i sort of feel like i’m in a good place in terms of what i do with my life? i work in publishing which was the goal. if anything i’d like to be more financially stable and maybe work less hours, but i’m happy.

25. my idea of a perfect date: anything that just feels organic tbh. the last several dates i’ve been on were from either tinder or hinge and i’ve decided dating apps/sites just aren’t for me. i’d rather there be a little chase or a little guessing than for the expectations to be all on the table already. it’s not fun that way and there’s too much pressure.

36. where I would like to live: i actually love where i live already, which is greater boston!! if i could afford something a little more expensive though i’d like to have a one-bedroom in one of the towns bordering mine (even though i actually love my current neighborhood).

40. who I wish I could be: someone healthier, happier, and more willing to take chances.

nosy anon asks

[hawkswildfireheart]

💫 Check up tag 💫

Tagged by @noona-clock

How has your day been?

Well, woke up and checked the mobile game I play to see it be all sorts of chaos in the seige event. Also got officially adopted by one of my in-game friend's mom who also plays. Found out dad's procedure went well this morning, now we just have to wait for biopsy results to figure out what to do next with his stomach issues.

What was the last thing that made you smile?

My dogs rolling around in the floor acting like idiots

What's keeping you entertained these days?

That mobile game, drinking with my sister, my sister reading off stuff guys say to her on tinder

If you are in some sort of quarantine/self-isolation, is there anything you'd like to achieve in this time?

I'd rather not be in quarantine, but since they closed down all of the sites I work at and I haven't gotten a redeployment assignment, I've only been to work twice in the last month and may not have a shift again til the 4th. So much for being an essential worker. Otherwise, not particularly. I hadn't expected to be sitting at home as much as I have been. So no real goals. I made that whipped coffee yesterday, and I think we're gonna try to make bread today just for something to do.

Post a selfie! (If you want)

No thanks, I don't even take selfies tbh

Tagging @artistia @jj-nyoung @tsvai @calcifer-rose @softseunies @guardians-of-exo

[browningsugaruk]

I’m irrational sometimes

So I literally never even told the back story of Nice trip guy and I’ve been doing some introspection and thinking on how I’ve actually hit the jackpot but I need to just chill.

So I actually met him on tinder ! Number 1: no wonder he didn’t like the PayPal idea (I’m moving like an amateur in the game🙄😭)but he gave me major sd vibes.I only met him 2/3weeks ago when I was still doing exams but he’d been messaging me on tinder for a while , so I hopped back on and he had sent me his number so I messaged him ...tbh I didn’t know he was even still active 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Okay so our first convo

Right so this is what gave me sd vibes. So a few days after he invited me round for a few drinks so like the lil hoe I am I went , baring in mind he lives on the 42nd floor of one of the boujiest skyscrapers in my city okay!! My favourite restaurant is in his building ... below him🙃🙃. I need to step carefully because I’m deeping what I’ve landed in fact I realised after our little PayPal tiff😭😭. Okay so I went I mean his apartment is beautiful ...

Okay so I was there for abit I learned he was a Consultant Opthamologist 💰 divorced amicably =more 💰 and he has two kids which is whatever lol. We talked small small I told him about a few of my life goals , slight family sob story (I’m always struggling student damsel in distress with slight princess LOOOL) even though I talk the most on tumblr I’m never that controlling dominant girl EVER I’m yet to master that role . We talked about why we joined and got to know eachother I mean I didn’t even touch him and he was running trying to get me food and whatever literally the first time we met it was around midnight too. Anyway so that’s when he invited me to Nice! He’s basically talking about a conference he has and then next thing he’s like do you want to come ? At the time I was acting stush pretending like I was thinking about it lol. Went home I researched him LinkedIn vouched for him and so did his place of work so I said OK when he messaged me the details.

blah blah blah then we have our little paypal disagreement tbh I wouldn’t even call it that because a few manipulating words and he’s actually ageeed to giving me ££££ but only because I miss work. He says he wants to help me but not just like “that” implying sending me money through paypal 🥴🥴but he said he will give me X in cash which has already set the tone that if he wants to be with me he has to take care of me.

What I’m really thinking is have I jumped into spoiled girlfriend territory? AGAIN lol if anyone has read my tumblr for a hot sec you’ll remember when I low-key ruined my life by leaving hoe life for a spoiled life HAHAHAA.

Anyway I feel ready for this ( I say) I can’t lie I’ve been sugaring for a while now and I know it has an expiration date I need security and real money and I know THIS man can give it to me. While still living my secret hoe life 🥰 I’m speaking into existence !!!

Moral of my current story, I’m unsure why I was being a brat and treating him like an SD this guy has the potential to give me a lot... potentially become a trophy wife but I guess this is our first trip/ date because we’ve never been on one !!! So funny how I’m only now seeing his worth 😍 there’s even two beds if he’s good I’ll let him eat my pussy 😇 I have a habit of making old men love me . Trip is on Monday will be posting pics and vids let you know if I get killed or not 😂jk

My punctuality is poor I’m super high rn ok .

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: I need a favour Jimmy: And the scale is what? Like a kidney or a 🚬? Janis: don't need anything off you but a lie Janis: so standard, yeah Jimmy: go on Janis: if any of my family ask, and it'll probably be Grace Janis: can you tell 'em I'm at yours, yeah Janis: they won't come over or anything cringe Jimmy: Alright Janis: sure? Janis: cool Janis: I owe you Jimmy: Standard, you said it Jimmy: meant to be with me #always Janis: you get I mean like, until further notice, right Janis: if I'm gone too long and they get aggro, just tell 'em I've gone but yeah, long as you can Jimmy: I weren't reckoning you were nipping out to get a coffee at one of my rival's Jimmy: even Gracie ain't that on one Janis: not that loyal either, sorry to report Jimmy: 💔 Janis: tell her how devvo you are, make her life Jimmy: gonna have to if you leave the fans in a content draught Jimmy: how would I ever cope with becoming #irrelevant Janis: despite the fact that's exactly what you're after, supposedly Janis: and I'm there, remember, content as usually Janis: use your artiste imagination Jimmy: Now I've gotta do all the faking myself Jimmy: what kind of girlfriend Janis: I said I owed you Janis: now you get it Jimmy: You'll more than owe me when I have to seriously draft your sister in as your stand in Janis: don't Jimmy: Too many white redheads in this town Janis: I'm serious dickhead Janis: don't get with my sister Jimmy: It weren't a serious consideration Jimmy: literally no point to this if I were gonna Janis: yeah well I don't ask your reasons you don't ask mine Janis: might've changed Jimmy: not that fucking hard they won't have Jimmy: you got the lobotomy not me Janis: alright alright Janis: 😏 Janis: just can't stand to see her happy, yeah Jimmy: can't stand to see her, tah Janis: my sentiments exactly Jimmy: Better come back in a bit then Jimmy: so you won't have to see me with her Janis: 😑 stop it Jimmy: What? Janis: putting that mental image in my head Jimmy: I mean, dickhead, are you alright or what? Janis: ain't gonna off myself Janis: not that cunt, I wouldn't put that on you Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: idk how to answer that Janis: don't see the point in lying but not asking this favour of ya as no cry for help Janis: alright, nothing I can't handle Jimmy: very comforting that Janis: you shouldn't of asked Janis: nothing you can do either, don't worry Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: 'course there is Janis: fake boyfriend chivalry is cute and all Jimmy: I know but stop flirting with me and you can be here instead of just saying you are Janis: 1. no one is flirting with you Janis: 2. can't sleep in your shed Jimmy: don't be a twat Jimmy: [tells her where there is a front door key] Janis: what will your dad reckon Janis: don't you need to ask Jimmy: He ain't in Janis: yeah but I told you I need more than a coffee break Jimmy: Yeah, so you can have my room Janis: alright Janis: just 'til you get back tonight Jimmy: Til whenever Jimmy: I'll go in my brother's Janis: nah, I ain't gonna put you out Janis: I appreciate it though Jimmy: You ain't Jimmy: but alright Janis: come off it Jimmy: you Janis: what? Jimmy: I get that you scare easy, rich girl, but I'm the only 👻 round my house Janis: I ain't scared Janis: least of all of your gaff Jimmy: stick around then Janis: they been in today? Jimmy: what do you reckon? Janis: they clearly don't give a fuck Janis: idk what would it take for them to piss off, that's the truth Janis: if I knew well Jimmy: sure I could do it Janis: like the optimism Jimmy: full of it, me Jimmy: 🌞 Janis: don't make me laugh Janis: 🌚 me Jimmy: there's no universe we ain't starcrossed 💔🎻 Janis: actually a tragedy Janis: I'll put it in my note Janis: f u god Jimmy: I'll post it for you, babe Janis: that's real romance Janis: 😩🤤😍 Janis: makes a girl wanna stick around Jimmy: and I ain't even said how much I'd miss you yet Janis: do I get a preview or have I gotta die for the 💕 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: Do you want me or do you wanna die? Janis: that's a big question Jimmy: I've got a big 💕 Janis: baby Jimmy: 😘 Janis: give me a night Janis: yeah Janis: then I can work out what next Jimmy: Take a night Jimmy: It's alright, I said Janis: don't wanna owe you too much Jimmy: So scared, you Janis: 😠 Jimmy: well cute Janis: I may owe ya Janis: but I will punch you Jimmy: I ain't scared, only you Janis: should be Janis: I have your keys Jimmy: I don't have a car for you to fuck up with them Jimmy: and there ain't fuck all for you to steal Jimmy: just a 🐕 Janis: you reckon I'm such a 🐰boiler Janis: should be worried for that poor pup Jimmy: that's your sister Janis: see, not a good replacement Jimmy: never said she were Janis: hmm Jimmy: Less need for a filter, like Jimmy: that's what I said Janis: you see her in person ain't ya Janis: every need for the filter, thanks Jimmy: 👩🏽 🤳🏽 Jimmy: what I'm bothered about Janis: we ain't identical Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: Stop misunderstanding me, dickhead Janis: stop comparing me to her Janis: bad idea Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: such hard work, you Janis: you signed up for it Janis: and invited me over Janis: you must be cracked Jimmy: Do you wanna be uninvited or what? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: believe that when I don't hear it Janis: bollocks Janis: I never speak Janis: complained as much before Jimmy: I change my mind, you've complained before about that, mate Janis: just so unpredictable, babe Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: stop flirting with me Jimmy: you signed up for it Janis: true Janis: that's my answer Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her] Janis: pretty good, mate Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: you want me to walk this dog Jimmy: such an athlete 💕 Janis: you know it Janis: counts towards my IOU? Janis: like 25% maybe? Jimmy: Piss off Janis: worth a shot Jimmy: next time hit the 🎯 Janis: damn Janis: tough love Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: so hot Jimmy: I know Janis: that's how your shifts going then Jimmy: when don't it? Jimmy: 😎🚬☕💰💰💰 Janis: new bio Jimmy: it'll be a big hit on tinder Janis: probably just do the last 3 Jimmy: can't rip off your bio, bit rude Janis: feel free Janis: goals! Jimmy: We that type of couple, yeah? Janis: #lookingforathird Jimmy: don't tell 💀👑 though Janis: I'm not going to jail if she pegs it in the sack, fuck that Jimmy: I'd break you out, baby 💕 Janis: why are YOU not going to jail too Janis: admitting you ain't pulling your weight 😏 Jimmy: They'll deport me back to Manchester #duh Janis: ugh, can't fake ldr Jimmy: you'll have to come with when I rescue you then Janis: works for me Janis: get out of here after-all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: have to let me tag-along 'til I learn the language tho Jimmy: fuck that, I'll crack on teaching you when I get back in a bit Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: [okay but hear me out, what if she lowkey just stayed at his on and off the whole time] Jimmy: shouldn't be no challenge for a 🧠 or 👅 like yours, Judith Janis: [legit for her running away vibe that she would so I buy it tbh] Janis: I didn't wanna disrespect your culture Janis: being polite, like Jimmy: What culture and what decent manners? 😏 Janis: I'm catching on Janis: get me a flatcap wearing pipe smoking man in no time Jimmy: Ian is bound to show his face eventually, being my dad and the one on the lease an' all Jimmy: crack on Janis: assuming he don't wanna head back north though Janis: unless he's on the run Jimmy: he don't Jimmy: 💔 for you Janis: population ain't that low Jimmy: your chances ain't that high Jimmy: grim up there, ain't you heard? Janis: and I ain't Janis: queen of the north, bitch, watch me Jimmy: won't be there to 👀 you binned me off Janis: you Janis: teaching me northern now so you can ditch me then Jimmy: you Jimmy: 'cause you wanna chain a pipe with some 👴💕 Janis: your type, first of all Janis: so welcome for me being so accomodating about the type of third we want Jimmy: hot's hot, babe Jimmy: can't fight it Janis: 😂 Janis: then don't Jimmy: Alright Janis: good Janis: sorted Jimmy: all in a day's work Janis: mhmm Janis: tip you later Jimmy: if anyone else said that they'd be out on their ear, you know Janis: I'm special, you know Jimmy: Me and everyone who follows me 💕 Janis: I get it Janis: you want a post too Janis: hold up Janis: [some post about waiting for him to come back and a selfie on his bed like hey] Jimmy: well done for finding the right bed Janis: tnat could've been awkward Janis: where does your da sleep, actually Jimmy: garage Janis: ahh Jimmy: not in a car, like Janis: 💔 shame Jimmy: for his birds, yeah Jimmy: can't drive themselves away now Janis: 😬 Janis: who am i meant to be Janis: btw Janis: if I bump into the man Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: idk, a valid one? Jimmy: Why ain't you who you always are? Jimmy: a more valid one that Janis: I meant more like, do you have your fam or your socials or no Janis: am I your fake girlfriend to them or just a mate, like Jimmy: can't keep them off Jimmy: must be my 🥇 content Janis: who could resist Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: [sends a 🔥 sext cos #mood after what she posted] Jimmy: treat your followers, mate Janis: 😏 Janis: too kind Jimmy: it's been said Janis: should run a hotline in your spare time Janis: 💰💰💰 Jimmy: How do you know I don't? Jimmy: other than the state of my room Janis: yeah aside from that Janis: literally that special, obvs mate Jimmy: Gotta keep you in 🚬 Jimmy: might bankrupt a lesser lad Janis: psh, I ain't the one with the habit Janis: and why I picked you, babe 😘 Jimmy: of all the bollocks to fake, Jasmine Janis: what Jimmy: I've 👀 yous and 👂 about the pipe you crave Jimmy: can't fool me Janis: 1. filth Janis: 2. very in to be a social smoker, just playing along with what they'd do Jimmy: 1. you better not be filthy in my bed Jimmy: 2. I'll pick you up a vape pen on my way home, yeah? Janis: 1. I'm not gonna hot box your room, better house guest than that, just Janis: 2. if you want me to peg you, just ask Jimmy: 1. Free house law, wouldn't be nowt I could do Jimmy: 2. sure that'd be very #goals but you're alright Janis: 1. see, you want me to really, perv Janis: 2. leave it at the smoke shack then, boy Jimmy: 1. you wanna really Jimmy: 2. what kind of boyfriend if I don't bring you 🎁 Janis: 1. even if I did, get what you said about this dog, won't leave me alone, what's it called? Janis: 2. bring me a ☕ Jimmy: 1. Too late to call her Mia or? Jimmy: 2. What do you actually want then? Janis: 1. 😂 no the 🐶 is too cute for that don't be mean Janis: 2. idk, what kind of smoothies do you do, something like that Jimmy: 1. You're right, she ain't half starved Jimmy: 2. 👍 Janis: 1. have to call RSPCA on you, not #goals Janis: 2. tah Jimmy: Be a quality break up story that Janis: shelf it for later Janis: no dogs actually harmed though, tah Janis: not co-signing that Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: fine Janis: you got a brother and a sister, right? Jimmy: You had a nose around my house or my 📷 IG? Janis: found the right bed on my 2nd attempt Janis: and pretty sure you've mentioned them Janis: but yeah, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't stalk all your socials Jimmy: A sane one Jimmy: yet to have one of them so crack on Janis: if I was sane they'd call me a nun Janis: gotta play to the audience Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: for you Janis: find one one day Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: cute Jimmy: I am, yeah Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: convincing denial, babe Janis: get it, you want me to tell you how cute you ain't, that's your kink Janis: busy though Jimmy: I don't want you to tell me what you're busy with in my bed though, tah Janis: walking this dog Janis: or getting it ready to Janis: idiot Jimmy: Don't bother, it's alright Janis: may as well, no Jimmy: If you want a 🥇 over my sister whose job it is Janis: oh will she be pissed off Janis: can always have 2 walks Jimmy: cute Jimmy: scared of her an' all? Janis: yeah obvs Janis: just trying not to be a dick to your fam and all Janis: they ain't done nothing to me Jimmy: Yet Jimmy: she could take you in a scrap, mate Janis: alright doubt that Janis: not gonna fight a child either you dick Jimmy: 🙀 you Janis: ain't you got hipsters and basic white girls to serve Jimmy: but my 1st priority is always you, girl 💕 Janis: thrilled about that, obvs Jimmy: I know Janis: feel the love Jimmy: 😘 Janis: you sure you wanna give up your bed Janis: I got places I can go Jimmy: I get it, it don't have a princess canopy Jimmy: you'll live Janis: but will I sleep Jimmy: alright you can borrow my 😎 Jimmy: stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: and I ain't begging, let's get that clear Janis: told you, got options Jimmy: and I told you, alright Jimmy: you can calm down now, my dear Jimmy: the better option is you 📷🐕💕 Janis: just saying, don't make me feel more like a cunt than I already do Janis: but obvs Janis: suckers for cuteness every time Jimmy: Leave it, I'll live too Jimmy: just don't lose the 🔑 that's our Cass' job an' all Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: #whenshedon'twantyouto💀💀💀 Janis: 💕 Janis: wait 'til I've worked on your old man so I've got an in, like Jimmy: he'll give you an alibi for 🔪🔪💀💀 long as it's only me Janis: that's the lowdown on them then Janis: what about your brother, he gonna come for me too? Jimmy: Depends, you got it in you to piss off a 6 year old or not? Janis: don't really do kids Janis: can't be as annoying as the ones I know though, not related to me for a start Jimmy: Related to me though 😏 Jimmy: just admit you 💕 me, babe Janis: shut up Janis: I'm related to my siblings and I'm great Janis: poor kid stands a chance Jimmy: He's related to Ian, no he don't Janis: bummer Janis: take him with when you get deported? Jimmy: quickest way to get arrested again that Jimmy: use your big head Janis: pretend he's yours Janis: who'd know Jimmy: Piss off I'm northern not a paddy Janis: alright and your ex ain't got a kid nah Jimmy: that's a 👶 not a kid Janis: true Janis: yeah 9 might be insane Janis: can you grow bum fluff, age yourself up before the 🚬 do Jimmy: I dunno Janis: tell him he's like 4 Janis: buy you as 18, sorted Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: that your way of telling me you wanna go pub in a bit then? Janis: duh Janis: i am part paddy Jimmy: How big's the % Jimmy: might be a dealbreaker Janis: 50% Janis: 25% scouse 25% brazilian Jimmy: Made you do maths in the holidays 😏 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: *👻 an all Jimmy: any chance you can say you're 💀💀💀 so I can leave? Janis: well my irish fam ain't even from this part of ireland but keep that to yourself 🤐 already got the ropes out, like Janis: only so many funerals I can have but sure Jimmy: I'll keep your real kinks to myself too Jimmy: put the ropes away though you'll wind up the 🐕 Janis: 💕 Janis: boo, no fun Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Best fake boyfriend you've ever had, sweetheart Janis: competition of one but 🏆 Janis: there you are Jimmy: tah Janis: fake win for a fake boy Janis: only right Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: about to pull a fake sickie, me Janis: that is actual smart though so Jimmy: and you owe me some fake nursing Jimmy: might as well cash in Janis: yeah? Jimmy: send me one of the nudes 💀👑 has sent you so I can 🤢 Janis: 😂 Janis: just don't leak 'em Janis: for my eyes only, obvs 🙄 Jimmy: I promise Janis: [sends her the latest god knows what Mia has been sending for the lols] Jimmy: she's Janis: in love with me? Janis: yeah Janis: don't be threatened Jimmy: but my fragile masculinity though! 😱😱😱 Janis: I'll nurse it better baby Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: put the outfit on, I'll be there in a bit Janis: 😏 Janis: alright Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: [is there when she gets back from walking Twix because it was a long walk and he's a sneaky speedy mofo] Janis: ['fancy seeing you here' 🤓] Jimmy: [hands her the smoothie he's made specially] Janis: [is doing a #skeptical face but changes it to a 'not bad' when she tries it] Jimmy: [gives her a look like go on then, tell me what's wrong with it but goes to put kettle on for his self #northern] Janis: ['ain't just resident eye candy then, good to know'] Jimmy: [does a bow cos nerd] Janis: [just giving Twix love whilst he makes tea, shouts through 'so you gonna show me where it hurts or am I guessing?' like you don't need to play nurse yet eager bitch] Jimmy: [you know he's making her one even though she's literally got a smoothie so who else is eager, comes through with said tea after a bit and puts the mugs down so he can put a hand over his heart like an even bigger nerd] Janis: [make pouty poor boy face 'might be incurable, that'] Jimmy: ['if you can't do it, you can't' shrugs] Janis: ['making it a challenge?'] Jimmy: [sips tea with an eyebrow raised like a sassy bitch] Janis: [lols, 'okay, so your face muscles are working fine, I get it' casually squishing his face 'cos cheeky too] Jimmy: [when you give her a little smooch but it's FINE cos you've got your phone out okay] Janis: [#allforthegramsureboys how many people really wanna see you making out erryday like some yeah you fine but still] Jimmy: [we know you ain't even holding that phone properly boy and then you won't post it cos you'll say it's too blurry or whatever] Janis: [one of these days you gon just drop it and the pretense but not yet] Jimmy: [soon kids, just hold on] Janis: ['how's the heart now? just challenging to go further oh lads] Jimmy: [puts her hand over said heart like that's nbd and not at all dangerous, with a shrug like I ain't dead yet so] Janis: [we all know it'd be beating pretty fast so bold Jimothy, just looking at her hand on his chest 'cos 'real question is, do you want it to be better or do you wanna..' when you trail off but we get it] Jimmy: ['more goals if I die for you, Juliet'] Janis: [when you're taking that as a yes #bothproblematic and you just kick it up to an actual make out sec again phone is out but who cares] Jimmy: [both of you just going for it like this isn't a dangerous game, impressed that you ain't dropped that phone tbh] Janis: [also your teas going cold, jussayin, when you just straddle his lap but don't sit] Jimmy: [OMG THE TEA] Janis: [my boo like nooooo stop rn and finish that brew] Jimmy: [gonna have to microwave that in a bit] Janis: [least Twix can bark 'cos jealous and they'll think someone's about to run up in so even if they ain't it then breaks the moment] Jimmy: [Good 🐕 yeah let's not have Cass descend yet cos she can always cockblock another moment should we need] Jimmy: [just drinking that tea casually now like nothing happened okay] Janis: [my thoughts exactly, at least Janis can love said cockblocking dog now 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [#true love] Janis: [doing that post about how he's poorly/playing nurse etc gotcha covered boy] Jimmy: [doing flirty replies so you can safely flirt lol] Janis: [so blatant lads] Janis: you seen that lot today? Jimmy: [nods] Janis: shoulda messaged us Janis: final fuck you to 'em before I go, like Jimmy: soz there were a rush on Janis: no worries, got a day now Janis: drop in tomorrow, undoubtedly be there Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [just picked up his lighter and are playing with it Jimmy: brb Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [comes back in a bit with art hoe supplies so he can draw her] Janis: ['homework?'] Jimmy: [shows her what he's doing] Janis: [when you try to be casual and 😏 about it but are immediately like oh and self-conscious of how you look rn 'am I meant to pose or what?'] Jimmy: [just shrugs because he's helpful like that lol 'Do you want it to turn out decent or not?' because challenge always like be my muse bitch] Janis: [🙄 'if you wanna be goals you'll draw me pretty no matter what' but is her usual effortless model self 'cos 'course she can] Jimmy: [🙄 back 'By now I've had plenty of practice at faking I reckon you are, no challenge or owt'] Janis: [sighs 'must be nice having good taste, even if it's pretend, welcome' 😘] Jimmy: [sighs back dramatically without looking up from the page 'be nicer if you stopped moving your lips, dickhead'] Janis: ['mr serious artiste needs to concretrate, okay, okay' mimes zipping 'em] Jimmy: [makes a scoff news but in the next second you know he's doing a cute lil concentration face] Jimmy: [*noise] Janis: [stealth taking a picture of that 'cos is cute] Jimmy: [chewing on that pen like a cute mofo also how confident not to use pencil boy] Janis: [like you've drawn her before lol Jimmy: [giving yourself well away] Janis: [what does one even do when getting drawn, just getting so comfy on that couch, so confident bitch] Jimmy: [at least his doodle style wouldn't take an age] Janis: [trulyfe] Jimmy: [lowkey shoving it at her like well I'm done and soooo not bothered haha] Janis: [when you can't be like I LOVE IT 'cos 1. a picture of yourself 2. you're not meant to be bothered either but you do love so you're like 'you're actually good then' like fairplay] Jimmy: [when you can't deal with even such a lowkey compliment so you have to leave the room and pretend like it's cause the dog is being so annoying like fuck off to the kitchen Twix you slag but also the awks is radiating off you so she's gotta be aware] Janis: [just pocketing that drawing, like] Janis: wanna 🚬? Jimmy: [when you don't answer you just head out there] Janis: [leaves it a hot sec like well am I invited or nah but then decides to go out regardless] Jimmy: [sit on that trampoline kids] Jimmy: [when you light up for her even though you feel awks cos habit] Janis: [takes it and lies back on the trampoline looking up at the sky and smoking] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her while she can't see him do it as if he didn't spend however long doing that when he was drawing, okay boy] Janis: ['s'comfy' and closing her eyes 'cos in my mind she's probably had a couple nights out in town already 'cos usually how she'd do before running] Jimmy: [takes off his jacket or hoodie or whatever and spreads it over her like a blanket cos nerd] Janis: [when you just allow that] Jimmy: [Twix just jumping on her because can't get a moment gdi] Janis: [at least she can get her to settle next to her like shh] Jimmy: [just texting Cass like where are you btw because can't join in with the snuggle] Janis: [a fair point also gotta tell her dis bitch staying over like] Jimmy: [really lingering over this convo because what to say or what to do, god bless him] Janis: [she's just oblivious soz lol] Jimmy: [after a while just poking her like 'You hungry or what?'] Janis: ['oi' but getting up, leaning on her elbows 'yeah, I could eat, want me go get something?'] Jimmy: [pushes her back down but gently cos he's gonna go and does] Janis: charming Janis: wanna go twos at least Jimmy: Obviously not, 'cause yeah I am such a 👑 charming, like Jimmy: I gotta pick my brother up anyway Janis: don't be stealing my shoes Janis: know they'd probably fit you but still, not even fake like that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I've touched your feet and I wouldn't be caught 💀💀💀 Janis: nothing wrong with my feet Jimmy: If you want sell pics to pervs, crack on Jimmy: #notmykink Janis: make a lot off that Janis: I don't need it Janis: 👑💰 Jimmy: hand it over my way then Janis: called being a pimp, that Jimmy: alright so if anyone asks, this convo's fake Janis: alright, rebrand to manager and you get 20% Janis: all in the details, boy Jimmy: Am I signing in 🩸 or that only the 💀💌? Janis: what you so hesitant for Janis: my fucking feet Janis: 🗡 least you can do is suffer Jimmy: I were wondering how much of my bodily fluids you're gonna want over the course of this bollocks Janis: don't be so crude Janis: talking about making softcore fetish porn here, not your emissions, thanks very much Janis: be professional Jimmy: become a nun after you 💔 me not before Janis: you can't 💔 Janis: become a priest if you want access to that untapped source of 😻 Jimmy: You, dickhead Janis: not gay Jimmy: No shit Janis: shut up Jimmy: you Janis: you, dickhead Jimmy: You're a bigger dickhead Janis: awh, it's mm if at all, don't worry 💕 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: how long you reckon you'll be Jimmy: Depends Janis: yeah but Janis: rough estimate Jimmy: Yeah but are you gonna tell me what you wanna eat or have I gotta guess? Janis: get whatever you lot want Janis: I'll eat anything Jimmy: Then I'll be a bit longer than it takes 💀👑 to slide in your DMs whenever you post but not as long as it takes her to take no for an answer Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: gonna go for a run then Jimmy: I won't let the 🐕 know 💔 Janis: can't keep friends, me Janis: soz babe Jimmy: my fault, should've warned her what you're like Janis: you'd have to know for that Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: at it again, you Janis: what, we mates now Jimmy: who's asking? Janis: who do you think Janis: 🐕 hasn't mastered the phone Jimmy: I don't reckon you have any need to ask, Jennifer Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Stop trying to friendzone me, babe Jimmy: It ain't #goals Janis: you're ridiculous Jimmy: I ain't the one asking questions I know the answers to Jimmy: such a girl, you Janis: and I'm the know-it-all Janis: ok bighead Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna share the 🏆 Janis: you who don't wanna share Jimmy: What you on about? Jimmy: I love sharing, me Janis: nah Janis: ain't that bad a roomie, like Janis: don't ask gracie though Jimmy: don't ask her round, don't ask her questions, you don't want much, you Janis: shut up Janis: how often you have to see her, welcome the break Janis: I would Jimmy: I do Janis: exactly, don't complain, boy Jimmy: Or what? Janis: plenty of ways to shut you up Jimmy: Go on then Janis: 🔇 Janis: feel that mute Jimmy: 🎻🎻still playing on Janis: sorry what was that? Jimmy: come here, grub is Janis: okay, be right there Jimmy: 😘 Janis: don't make me 🤢 into it like Jimmy: but that sounds so hot 💕 Jimmy: bit rude of you to take the spotlight though Jimmy: it were my sickie Janis: oh yeah, soz Janis: be a better patient and I'll be a better nurse Jimmy: be 🥇 and it wouldn't matter Janis: weren't me, was the dog Janis: but okay, round 2 Jimmy: ain't even fed me 🍇 or nowt Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: 😂 you aren't a roman emperor Jimmy: I'm on my fake deathbed here Janis: so I've gotta spoil you, yeah Jimmy: do something Janis: been trying Janis: saying, have your bed back, I'll take the floor Jimmy: I don't want my bed back Janis: tell me what you want Jimmy: I have done Janis: get the grapes then shall I Janis: brb, detour Jimmy: come and eat, dickhead Janis: well alright Janis: later then Jimmy: I don't even like 🍇 alright Janis: see, how can I win Janis: honestly, setting me up, shame 😏 Jimmy: I'll spit them out off 📷 Jimmy: we can make it work Janis: you baby Janis: you can swallow Jimmy: alright, I'll do it for you 💕 Janis: true love Janis: [show up for this dinner moment] Jimmy: [Bobby and Twix casually cockblocking but not cos he made the kid sit up the table #smart while they can stay on the sofa where they make all their mems but Cass not because we may need her to actually in a bit] Janis: [good thinking boy, also Janis casually breathing a sigh of relief 'cos feels weird meeting his fam whilst it's fake tbh, not Ian fuck Ian but rude on the kids, like] Jimmy: [can you remember his house layout like was it open plan or what was the situation?] Janis: [nah we did a more closed off moment 'cos a rented house, like they had a lil hall, the garage off to one side, then the lounge then the kitchen with a table Jimmy: [okay yeah I do vaguely remember the sims house now] Janis: [so tuck in lads] Jimmy: [when it should be more awks than it is #foreverthemood] Janis: [moves so fast 'cos you so extraaaa] Jimmy: [so comfortable with each other even with all your #issues lads, love it] Janis: [#fated] Jimmy: [when you go get her a drink so you can check Twix ain't stole all Bobby's food and generally be a good big brother on the low] Janis: [yes, tis important, can't be allowed to just chill like you ain't got responsibilities] Jimmy: [she can just hear them being cute in that kitchen like] Janis: [a moment, good thing Bobby likes her when the time comes because she's not so extra with kids and in his face] Jimmy: [not always a 😒 sod, are you Jimothy? lol it's my fave when they are such a cute lil fam unit bye Ian] Janis: [we know you soft boy, and yas casually kick him out of his own home #notsoz] Jimmy: [he's back and he's raided his shit dad's stash cos never too early #fuckyouIan] Janis: [raising your brow but doing a golf clap #approved] Jimmy: [doing a cheers at her] Janis: ['you slipped the kid a nightcap, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['You wish' 😏] Janis: [😳😒] Janis: ['I meant, what passes as parenting 'round here, dickhead'] Jimmy: [to answer her question he goes to clear the table cos the little bab wants to 🎨] Janis: [get your art on babby] Jimmy: [such an unspoken I do, dickhead if there ever was one] Janis: [so domestic] Jimmy: [comes back to drink that drink and put some bollocks on the TV that neither of them care about] Janis: [standard, when you've basically downed yours 'cos nervous energy] Jimmy: [gives her a look but doesn't say anything] Janis: [a 'what?' look] Jimmy: [one back but we know he means what's wrong] Janis: [shakes head like don't worry, I'm good] Jimmy: ['Do you wanna go to my room?' Oh the MANY layers of meaning in that] Janis: [when you shrug 'if you like' but you clearly do 'cos you're halfway up] Jimmy: [when you bring more drinks as a shameless excuse to follow her cos you don't know if she meant she wants to be alone or she wants to be alone with you and you can't ask] Janis: ['purely medicinal, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a nod] Janis: [shrugs 'better than grapes' then puts out her hand 'do I get one?'] Jimmy: ['do you want one?' but in such a flirty manner that there is no need for] Janis: ['you know I do' matching tone 'cos obvs] Jimmy: ['take it then' boy you better stop] Janis: [does, sipping maintaining that eye contact honey] Jimmy: [likewise because gotta] Janis: ['stay' when you gotta add, quickly after a pause 'or I'll feel bad'] Jimmy: [when you make yourself comfortable cos you can make a big song and dance of doing it and hide how much you're dying rn 'can't have that, meant to be me' does the fakest cough of all time and 😏] Janis: ['oh right, yeah get in then' making a thing of getting your phone out and ready to give yourselves some time 'cos ultimately you're gonna hop on that bed and straight up put his head in your lap so you can take a pic stroking his hair] Jimmy: [when you pretend like she's got something on her face and you've gotta get it before any pics are taken but we know there isn't anything there and the boy is just being extra] Janis: ['better?' is she referring to her face or how he feels, we'll never know] Jimmy: [responds by taking her hair down #for the aesthetic bitch we all 👀 you just wanting to run your fingers through it bye] Janis: [still just stroking his hair but pulls it (gently calm down) when he takes hers down 'this is about you, not me'] Jimmy: ['it's about you an' all' when you gotta pause cos calm down with sounding like you care and also how much you wanna make that true in a sexy way 'whoever's story it ends up on'] Janis: [nods like alright and also what can she trust herself to say] Jimmy: [casually taking his top off like oh we should redo all of that as if anyone cares that much about the details #shameless] Janis: [when you're like true though and pull down whatever bottoms you have on like, gotta have that skin to skin moment bye] Jimmy: [trying not to die or look at her too shamelessly and failing at both lbr] Janis: [when you do an instagram story purely so you can kiss his forehead] Jimmy: [kill me tbh and I ain't even there] Janis: [how you gonna slow this down lads hohum] Jimmy: [literally cos we all know how he wants this his head in her lap situation to end and it isn't with a picture] Jimmy: [at least we have the kids and dog to cockblock] Janis: [true facts, gotta keep it family friendly] Jimmy: [me just forever being like how far can we push this before it's too far haha] Janis: [s'the point baby] Jimmy: [I'm thinking] Jimmy: [we need something #intimate to happen and bonus points if it's the first time too but idk] Jimmy: [not the #cute moment I was trying to think of but #duh while we've got them here we should do the ultimate playfight cliche since on a bed it's BLATANT and like she could poke him as a trampoline throwback cos they're still just lying there together #casual and be all I thought you'd fallen asleep cos pisstake at how tired he always is and of course like I said playfight ensues and we've got all that good shit like him tickling her and her squirming way more than necessary 👀 you both so of course he pins her down but not really cos we all know you could escape easily if you wanted to 👀 you still and SO much good eye contact and he pulls her hair and she bites her lip and he stares at it but OBVS before they can kiss Cass storms back through with a front door slam that puts Grace's school trip one to shame and has Twix wilding] Jimmy: [which leaves him nothing to do but say fuck's sake with more feeling than anyone has ever for all the reasons and go downstairs to talk to her aka have a row cos she's always in the mood and so's he now] Janis: [A+ idea boo] Janis: [whichever door they ain't at, she goes out] Jimmy: [don't blame you remotely girl] Janis: [lets some time pass] Janis: if you want anything bringing back, lmk Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Janis: what does that mean, easy enough question, ain't it Jimmy: What do you mean? Janis: that I've gone out, and if you need some milk or some shit, I'll bring some back later Janis: not offering to do a drugs run for you, soz Jimmy: and I've been out so what the fuck else would I need Janis: alright, simple no would suffice Jimmy: Would it? Janis: try it and find out Jimmy: You wish Janis: 🙄 Janis: not that arsed Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: sounds like it Janis: your lack of manners ain't my concern Janis: didn't ask you to say thanks or anything Jimmy: You can have it anyway Jimmy: tah for doing one when I'm up to my eyes here Janis: yeah, you're welcome, sarcasm ignored Janis: nothing I could do Jimmy: try it and find out Janis: like what, read your brother a bedtime story whilst you bollock your sister Jimmy: like not take the 1st chance you can to fuck off Janis: was giving you space to sort it out in private, actually Jimmy: bollocks Janis: how is that bollocks Jimmy: how ain't it? Janis: did I look ready to go out to you or what Janis: not got anything else to do in this town tonight Jimmy: Wouldn't know, didn't get a goodbye in Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: You pissed off 'cause it got too real for you, owt else is bollocks Janis: you reckon that all you want Jimmy: Deny it all you want Jimmy: you can be full of chat about 'how this will only work if...' and how we need each other but you ain't standing by it Jimmy: gotta keep me in my box and that ain't the 4 walls of this house, yeah? Jimmy: Like I said, too real Janis: Stop being dramatic and chatting shite Janis: if that were it, I wouldn't offer to come back, would I Janis: I'd go, as planned Jimmy: Then what? Janis: what I said, dickhead Janis: I know what it is when everyone knows your family's shit Janis: I was getting out the way Jimmy: That were nowt Jimmy: you're gonna need a thicker fake skin, girl Janis: shut up Jimmy: Funny how you don't get in my way when there's washing up to be done, rich girl Janis: yeah, you caught me Jimmy: dry handed Jimmy: I know, like Janis: you're so unfunny it's unreal Jimmy: unreal is right Jimmy: you reckon you're getting my best material Janis: please, save it Jimmy: please, give me your permission again Jimmy: desperate for it, me Janis: no shit Janis: total gimp, you, s'obvious Jimmy: I get it, you want the mental pictures Jimmy: gotta do something with the alone time you've given yourself by doing one Janis: Means I've got 'em Janis: you owe me another lobotomy, or an acid deep clean Jimmy: put it on my tab, babe Janis: take it off mine and we're quits Janis: better idea Jimmy: Piss off Janis: I get it, you want me forever in your debt Jimmy: 'course I do Janis: mhmm Janis: like I said, transparent 👻 boy Jimmy: buy us 🚬 and I might let you back in 🧛 girl Jimmy: how's that for clear? Janis: pretend I don't know how much you want me back, crystal 👌 Jimmy: that's the 🐕 sweetheart, it ain't me Janis: whatever, the washing up moan was more convincing, babe Jimmy: done my convincing for the night, haven't I? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: keep it to yourself Janis: you ain't the only lad Janis: sure they'll find it very #relatable Jimmy: shut up Janis: 😂 Jimmy: such a dickhead Janis: you love being the best boyfriend in town, don't you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: you know the drill Janis: sure do Jimmy: You not pulling your weight only makes me look better Jimmy: so understanding and 💕 all that bollocks Janis: fuck off Janis: I do well more than you, boys just get sucked off for doing the literal bare minimum in any scenario, especially not being a total twat to girls Janis: don't get it twisted, dickhead Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 for the dance floor, that's about it Janis: bullshit Janis: you've got the easy job Janis: I've turned every bitch from saying I'm gay as a diss to being scared I'll steal their lad in no time Jimmy: You had one rumour about you 💔 I've got loads Jimmy: gotta keep up with them and prove them wrong Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: you don't listen as well as you reckon Janis: 💩 Jimmy: might be 'cause you had my 👂s off Janis: get over it Janis: how you ever cope with having a real girlfriend Jimmy: never baby 💕 Janis: idiot Jimmy: stop flirting with me for 1 sec OMG Jimmy: proper sweet talker, you Janis: about as delusional as her Janis: and as much chat Jimmy: actually 💔 now Janis: ikr Janis: imagine actually being her Janis: gutting Jimmy: you're alright, tah, I won't Janis: but you love the pain Janis: what's up? Jimmy: Better ways to get a dose of it, like inviting you down the pub Jimmy: coming or what? Janis: cute 💕 Janis: guess so Janis: have to disappoint some lads but that's just how it is when you're so in demand Jimmy: so much enthusiasm be still my 💘 Jimmy: one on the corner, I'll be the mug getting them in Janis: 👍 Janis: not been gone that long Janis: remember what you look like Jimmy: #unforgettable Jimmy: send tweet Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll sign off on that Janis: pretty odd looking, it sticks with you Jimmy: You can do better Jimmy: with insults and lads obvs Janis: 🤷 I mean Janis: I'm sure you can get lads too, mate Jimmy: 👴💕 Janis: 😂 that's why you wanna go pub Janis: how rude to invite me Jimmy: you wanted a third, babe Janis: well we gotta agree Jimmy: do owt to please you, you know that Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: cute Janis: don't reckon there's any fitting another person in your bed though Janis: have to wait Jimmy: the lounge has got loads of floor space, be alright Janis: oh right, lock the dog in the kitchen and the kids in their rooms Janis: it's a party Jimmy: 🤞 Ian's in here having an after work #sesh so I can whip his 🔑 off him an' all Janis: oh, a good point Janis: no one needs that Jimmy: Our 🎉 been pissed on 'cause I don't 👀 him Jimmy: @iantaylor8 do one, mate 👍 Janis: put a DND on the door Janis: old school Jimmy: DNR on the 👴💕 Janis: standard practice when you're 😈 Jimmy: you stopped blagging you're 😇 now then? Janis: can do both, multi-talented Jimmy: Good Jimmy: dunno how I feel about the end of an era Janis: you like good girls, huh Janis: don't be spreading that about me, tah Jimmy: don't get #badder than my ex so from now on, yeah Jimmy: but alright, your secret halo is safe Janis: 🍻 drown those sorrows, I'm nearly there Jimmy: had loads of 🍺 and 👴💕 already tah Jimmy: you'll have to go some to keep up Janis: slag 😏 Jimmy: don't be spreading that about me Jimmy: fighting lasses off every day as is Janis: you poor thing Janis: did you not think about just going gay Janis: fake gay, that is Jimmy: I know 🎻🎻 things I do for you, Jules Jimmy: just ain't believable that Janis: what, you're SO straight 😂 Jimmy: I mean, this lad at work is a right stunner but getting him to be my fake boyfriend would be a bit harder than it were getting you to make 😍 at me Jimmy: he's proper busy with the ☕ Janis: piss off Jimmy: needed a rich girl with nowt to do Janis: don't need to repeat myself, thanks, see above Jimmy: 😏 Janis: don't smirk at me cunt Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 then Janis: go away Janis: was a school trip, no one had anything better to do Jimmy: come here Janis: outside Janis: got your cigarettes Jimmy: [appears like oh hey just casually sticking his head out the door and looking around dramatically like ?? cos nerd] Janis: [🙄 'you really are a shit actor, you know'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'got everyone I need to fooled'] Janis: [a shrug 'if you say so' and holding out the pack, which she's already taken one from] Jimmy: ['you just heard me' takes one obvs] Janis: ['what's that count for' when you've bought your own lighter so you've lit your own #ultimateshade] Jimmy: [🙄 how weird it'd feel to just light his own at this point like] Janis: [awkward] Jimmy: [awkward silent moody smoking ftw] Janis: [always] Jimmy: [leaning against the wall to show how #overit you are, oh life] Janis: 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: thanks to me Jimmy: and what? Jimmy: 👏 Janis: begins with a t Jimmy: you are being a twat, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: very clever Jimmy: 🏆🧠 Janis: go celebrate then, dickhead Jimmy: gimme chance to finish my 🚬 damn girl Janis: [walks further away to finish hers] Jimmy: [walks up to her cos that dickhead] Janis: ['What part of this aren't you getting?'] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like what] Janis: ['I said, go away, remember'] Jimmy: ['what's that count for, you said that an' all, remember'] Janis: ['you're so fucking- annoying'] Jimmy: ['Is coming here gonna make me any less annoying?'] Janis: ['what?'] Jimmy: [gestures for her to come in the pub and have a drink with him] Janis: [when you're just looking at him exasperated af but then stomp in before him] Jimmy: [gets drinks and puts hers down in front of her like there you go without asking what she wanted, bit rude] Janis: [doesn't say thanks, obvs] Jimmy: [when you've swapped awkward silent moody 🚬 for awkward silent moody 🍺] Janis: [#goals lmao] Jimmy: [truly] Jimmy: You're Jimmy: [when you deliberately are vague af] Janis: go on Janis: say what you wanna say Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: [when you shake your head like NOPE abort mission] Janis: fine Janis: [🙄 and getting up to get more drinks] Jimmy: [forever not realising drinks aren't a good idea you two, god bless] Janis: [when you're probably chatting more to the bartender than you are to the person you're with rn oh lads] Jimmy: [when seeing that'd put you in an even better mood which is great Jimothy thanks so much] Janis: [coming back, putting the drinks down, then going straight to the bogs like brb] Jimmy: [you know he'll have probably downed that by the time she gets back #suchfun] Janis: [back like okay] Janis: how many you had? Jimmy: [shrugs because not enough clearly] Janis: cheat Jimmy: 1. didn't accept no challenge Jimmy: 2. rebel with only one cause, remember Jimmy: 3. you famously don't play by the rules, why should I? Janis: 1. you said catch up Janis: 2. how can i Janis: 3. dickhead Jimmy: I said you'd have to be going some Jimmy: and you will Janis: Oh, will I? Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: crack on Janis: wow love it when you get all demanding Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Missed you too Janis: 'course Janis: 💘 Jimmy: [just on his phone like a rude bitch, I'm like LORD let that booze kick in soon please] Janis: [lol like boy you asked her here, twice] Jimmy: [HONESTLY give it up bitch you're ridiculous] Janis: 💬 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: your turn Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: [goes] Janis: third? Jimmy: Why you trying to make me do maths in the holidays? Janis: the maths is would you bang the barman or nah Jimmy: would you? Janis: [shamelessly staring like 🤔 at this poor man who's probably 30 odd and not cute enough to go there like soz] Janis: not by first choice, nah Jimmy: There's your answer then Janis: considerate as ever, darling Jimmy: owt to please you, I said Janis: I know Janis: but we know what I said and all Jimmy: weren't listening me Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [puts drink in front of her with a look like you alright then?] Janis: [look back like are you? but nods too] Jimmy: [drinking instead of answering] Janis: ['I can go, if you've got shit to sort'] Jimmy: [shaking his head so casually but the 👀 are like DON'T] Janis: ['good, break my heart if you sent me back to that lot' smiles weakly like joking but not really] Jimmy: ['What kind of dickhead would take the only job you've ever had and turn it round on you, rich girl'] Janis: [🙄 'imagine'] Jimmy: ['don't wanna, it's bloody tragic'] Janis: [kicks him under the table, but not full pelt lol] Jimmy: [throws a beer mat at her with an oi but also not that hard obvs] Janis: [just ripping it up casually] Jimmy: 🎊👰💕 Janis: [😏] Janis: lemme know when you meet her and I'll practice my overarm Jimmy: throw it over whoever you wanna bring back, gimme the warning Jimmy: 🤞👴 Janis: [lols] Janis: [takes a big look around and shakes head like nah, not feeling it] Jimmy: I get it, Ian still ain't showed 💔 Jimmy: I'll get some 🎻🎻 on the box for you, mate Janis: ha 🖕 Janis: after careful consideration, I can't hack being your step mum, thanks but no thanks Jimmy: take the 🐕 leave the rest, I know Janis: nah, your sibs seem fine too, sure Ian is the daddy I've dreamed him to be too Janis: it's all you 💔 Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: Poor baby Janis: want comforting again yeah Jimmy: Depends Janis: yes, it will be me doing the comforting Janis: can't guarantee anyone else at such short notice Jimmy: but are you gonna do what you did before or have you got new tricks? Janis: Depends Jimmy: On how much time you can blag for yourself by borrowing mine? Not much, girl Jimmy: not if you're using that one any road Janis: no Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: what? Janis: on what angle you're hitting 📸 Janis: only so much the Instagram guidelines allow for Jimmy: that'll be every 💕 Janis: then what do you expect Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 🥇 for the 'gram and 🥇 comforting ain't the same thing Janis: shocking, I know Jimmy: I said nowt about the 'gram that were you Janis: Why ever else would we do it? Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [gives one back] Jimmy: might fancy snapchat Janis: only if they pay Janis: 60/40 me Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you don't need the 💰💰 Janis: don't mean I work for free Jimmy: send me a bill then, babe Janis: after Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What were you gonna say Jimmy: When? Janis: Earlier Janis: you never said what I was Jimmy: nowt Janis: bollocks Janis: you can say it Janis: heard it all before Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: leave it out Janis: fine Janis: drink up Janis: [goes bar] Jimmy: just Janis: don't bother, why'd you tell the truth anyway, yeah Jimmy: take whatever you said about me and replay it in a northern accent Jimmy: that'll do Janis: non-committal enough Janis: idek what I said so 👍 Jimmy: sorted, like Janis: sure Jimmy: I actually dunno though, alright Jimmy: what you are Janis: racist Janis: after you made me break down my heritage too Janis: plain rude Jimmy: bit rude to say I made you, Jill Janis: well, you to a T that Jimmy: you reckon you've got me to a T, yeah? Janis: want me to say I can't work you out and all? Jimmy: Do you want me to chat bollocks or leave it for you to do? Janis: chat something Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos why am I here otherwise Jimmy: you wanted a drink, you've got a drink Janis: when did I ask for a drink Jimmy: no need Jimmy: I dunno how to describe you in one word that don't mean I know nowt Jimmy: could've said pisshead for a start Janis: yeah you reckoned I smoked as well Janis: nice one columbo Jimmy: and as I'm so wrong you won't want one Jimmy: [struts out] Janis: I'm gonna drink yours, twat Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: well convincing it's only social, that Janis: what do you want me to say, I'll piss in it Janis: not that committed to fucking you up Jimmy: can't ever just leave it, can you? Jimmy: goes for nowt Janis: you started it Jimmy: you Janis: you you you Jimmy: how did I? Janis: you wouldn't tell me what you said Janis: now you've pissed off Jimmy: I fucking Jimmy: I went for a smoke 'cause I can admit it's a habit Janis: Well I'm not gonna lie 'cos you wanna hear I got a drinking problem or some shit Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I've got other ways I deal with my shit, alright Jimmy: and I'm not trying to get an invite on a run, alright Janis: What you saying Janis: smoking isn't your thing, you don't own it Jimmy: it ain't yours either, you said Janis: I can do it as and when I want Jimmy: 👏🏆 Janis: oh, fuck off Jimmy: make up your mind Jimmy: you were trying to kick off at me for leaving your side a bit ago Janis: I'm fucking tired Janis: I'm going Jimmy: Let me finish my drink that you better not have touched and we'll go Janis: You can stay Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: okay Jimmy: [reappears to down that drink like come on then] Janis: [when you go to grab his hand instinctively 'cos ages of people watching you but then drop it like it's hot like shit] Jimmy: [when you just take her hand again anyway like you gotta drag her away from here kicking and screaming lol instead of the fact you know she wants to leave so badly that you didn't even sit down to neck that pint] Janis: ['when you get up in the night, don't stand on me, like'] Jimmy: [It ain't me with the freakishly long legs, girl. How do you reckon I'm gonna make that happen from the next room?'] Janis: [pouts] Jimmy: [gives her a look like ?? but less dickhead-ish than he's been doing it] Janis: [shakes head like nevermind] Jimmy: [cups her face because he can pretend he's being fake with it if he needs to even if the genuine soft tones of his voice could give him away if he knew how much of a #softboy he is 'what, babe?'] Janis: [acts like she's gonna bite his hand literal but just pushes it away hastily 'nothing, I thought you were staying'] Jimmy: ['I'll have the floor then'] Janis: [shakes head 'don't be stupid'] Jimmy: ['You'] Janis: ['s'your bed, dickhead'] Jimmy: [You're tired, dickhead. Just take it off me'] Janis: ['can sleep anywhere, like'] Jimmy: ['my bed'll suit you alright then'] Janis: [shakes head like no point arguing on this anymore] Jimmy: [gives her a look like too right there isn't cos you're having my bed, end of discussion] Janis: ['don't sleep on the floor' what does that mean what are you wondering what do you know] Jimmy: [nods which is about as cryptic, oh lads] Janis: ['your sister beat you in a fight then too?'] Jimmy: ['you saying you fancy your chances?' it's really hard to make everything a question omg] Janis: [😏 'only heard her so I ain't making any bets with you, tah'] Jimmy: [😏 'spoilsport'] Janis: ['cheat' tuts like honestly] Jimmy: ['don't be throwing words like that about out loud, tah'] Janis: [looks around dramatically 's'fine, don't reckon they're tailing us'] Jimmy: [takes her hand again and like swings it how you do to a kid while he also looks around dramatically] Janis: ['left your brother at home, mate' but not pulling away or stopping him ok] Jimmy: [when you'd normally have some #bants about that but you're tired too so you're just walking and handholding nbd] Janis: [a nice lil moment] Jimmy: [I feel like the pub ain't that far from his house so may as well enjoy that while it lasts kids] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [getting back and not knowing if your dad is home or not #joys (we know he isn't but Jimmy don't have that luxury) so you immediately get tense af] Janis: [awkward, get you up in the room girl] Jimmy: [when you have to go check your siblings and tell them you're back cos you all have separation anxiety but lowkey so your fake girlfriend don't think you're weird] Jimmy: need owt? Janis: nah, I'm good Janis: thanks Jimmy: [bringing her water anyway cos you don't want the night to be over yet in case she's gone in the AM #blatant] Janis: [just smiling like 'I'll give you 5 stars'] Jimmy: ['hang on, it ain't vodka, like'] Janis: ['lucky I don't throw it in your face then' 🙄😏] Jimmy: ['least I'd impress you by catching it in my mouth if it were'] Janis: ['right little optimist, you'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['what other tricks you got then, boy?'] Jimmy: [Shrugs 'Don't have a dog to perform myself'] Janis: [yawns half shade/half actual] Jimmy: [when you're just leaving like okay then] Janis: ['oi'] Jimmy: [when you've basically got a hand on the door to go but you still turn around because of course you do] Janis: ['...night then' like that weren't all bitch we all know it] Jimmy: [You gonna be cold? It's april boy I doubt it but he's taking off his hoodie or jumper or whatever soft thing he's got on and putting it on her because just he just wants touch her without making that obvious but also CARES bitch] Janis: [nods all the same 'tuck us in then'] Jimmy: [does obvs, picking her up and carrying her there first if he needs to because idk if she's stood up like him by this door or wut] Janis: [allowing it 'cos I wanna] Jimmy: [when you open your mouth to say about 40000 things but you can't so you just close it again like nothing to see] Janis: ['yeah' 'cos same boy, same] Jimmy: ['I were just wondering if I should take your breakfast order but depends if I pull another sickie or bother to go in' boy you were not such a lie but that is a good question of what to do with tomorrow I'll give you that] Janis: ['make a thing of it and they might send you a fruit basket, or a search party, risk you could take, like' shrugs] Jimmy: ['if the search party's headed up by my best customers that's a massive risk, management not as much' shrugs back and once again attempts his exit] Janis: [turning over like okay night 'smoothie was good' re. if he does go in] Jimmy: [stopping like this is a mansion instead of a box room 'we can make a thing of it either way, if you want'] Janis: ['that'll be alright, yeah' when you're saying that into your pillow like hope you can hear] Jimmy: [when you nod but she can't see you] Janis: [let him go hoe] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he does but do a little time skip to later because he can't sleep obvs and I have no chill] Jimmy: Hey Janis: what's up? Janis: beside you Jimmy: you an' all Jimmy: why ain't you asleep? Janis: sleeps for the weak, like Jimmy: gimme my bed back then Janis: I said you could have it from the off Jimmy: Go to sleep, dickhead Janis: why Jimmy: 😴💤 Janis: I know you didn't start a convo just to see if I was asleep or nah Jimmy: might've done Janis: could've popped your head 'round the door Janis: or made a shit joke about snoring keeping you up Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: 🐕 snores louder than anyone and she's in here anyway Janis: cosy Jimmy: I'll chuck her in with you if you're 💔 Jimmy: and awake Janis: if you like Janis: thought you were coming to get your bed anyway Jimmy: Got your name on it tonight, mate Janis: come on, I don't need it Janis: I'll crash on your sofa 'til it's light Janis: gone before any of 'em wake up, easy Jimmy: I don't need it either Jimmy: but if I have to tie owt round the door to keep you in, challenge accepted Janis: 😏 Janis: really Jimmy: I mean, 🤞 I tucked you in and you'll stay in, but alright Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: cute Janis: say you underestimate me but it's that optimism, yeah? Jimmy: I know how much you love it, babe Janis: hmm we'll be nice and say it's refreshing Jimmy: be nice and stay put instead of me having to rig a trip wire or some bollocks Janis: alright, alright Janis: no need to go home alone Janis: how long are you keeping me captive though Janis: things to do Jimmy: least if we were I might be able to sleep Jimmy: comes to something when you're the least annoying person I've shared a bed with Jimmy: let you out when it goes from #goals to #weird Janis: charming Janis: is he asleep or Jimmy: 👑 me Jimmy: he ain't 💀💀💀 Jimmy: that'll be me tomorrow if I go work Janis: well, if you let me go Janis: can rock up at opening time and tell them how sick you still are Jimmy: if I let you go, won't see you for dust Jimmy: such an athlete, like Janis: well yeah, I will go to the gym after Janis: just hoping it's the fit one opening obvs Jimmy: get your own fit colleagues, I 😍 him first Janis: 💔 I'm faster Jimmy: that'll be why I were 🥇 in a race against you Janis: 1. you cheat Janis: 2. sure he will if you beg hard enough, don't cry Jimmy: 1. shut up I can't hear the 🎻 over you being a massive 😭 loser Jimmy: 2. piss off Janis: oh please, your one good lung would collapse before you could even eat my dust in an actual race Jimmy: long as it holds out for me to go have a 🚬 Janis: 🙄 Janis: yay or nay to the actual plan though, idiot Jimmy: Well on board for a race to my 💀💀💀 death obvs 🎊 Janis: DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL IN SICK FOR YOU OR NO Jimmy: You can calm down, your boyfriend ain't opening up, no need to shout Jimmy: nowt in it for you either Janis: not an answer Jimmy: I don't have a smoothie maker here and I ain't cashing in an IOU on that bollocks Jimmy: there you go Janis: don't need one that bad Janis: but alright Janis: go sleep then Jimmy: not out here, it's freezing Jimmy: 🤞 when I get back in Janis: all that talk of 🚬 got you excited Jimmy: keep that 💕 between us though Janis: everyone's seen you Janis: clearly your 😎 appeal is so great, they'll deal with the bad breath Jimmy: but if they ask you're my 🥇 Janis: not forgot what we're doing here Janis: don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: why'd you move here Jimmy: Why are you asking me? Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: why not Janis: reasonable question Jimmy: reasonable that you've said you don't need or wanna know owt about me an' all Jimmy: What's changed? Janis: got time to kill, ain't we Jimmy: and that's what you wanna do with it? Janis: not my first choice Jimmy: do whatever is then Janis: just don't answer Jimmy: 🙀 is you, Judith Janis: then Janis: ? Janis: hardly a probing question, calm down Jimmy: he got a job here, I didn't fancy being homeless so I came with Jimmy: alright? Janis: why wouldn't it be Jimmy: I dunno the answer you want Janis: erm, the one that's real Janis: not asking for a bedtime story here Jimmy: force of habit Jimmy: our kid has to have 6 Janis: one for every year Janis: classic Janis: gets a bit out of hand when 10 of you try it though so Jimmy: thank fuck Ian ain't that fertile then Janis: 🤢 don't Janis: it's fucking grim Jimmy: 💔 my face fits Jimmy: can't say I ain't his Jimmy: can't knock yours that hard if most of your lot looks like you do Janis: diversitys lacking but he ain't the only black man about Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: yeah but 10 kids looking like that would get you all the 👶🏆 regardless Jimmy: well 9 'cause there's Grace Janis: shut up 🙄 Janis: beautiful baby competitions aren't that lucrative Jimmy: sure my ex is 💔💔💔 Janis: cute then? Janis: that's something Janis: most babies are ugly Jimmy: nah she'd have to rig it Jimmy: cheating comes natural though Janis: ouch Jimmy: 🤷 Jimmy: there's your bedtime story Janis: not meant to be sad Janis: no wonder he's after 6 Janis: happily ever after, dickhead Jimmy: I ain't still with her 💍👶👰 so it were Jimmy: and far as he knows we're 💕 Janis: well I won't get pregnant to end this so Janis: still coming off favourably Jimmy: Ian will be chuffed Jimmy: and what greater seal of approval is there? Janis: idk Janis: starting to question his existense tbh Janis: 😎 runs in the genes too, yeah Jimmy: 👻 does Janis: same Janis: definitely not related Jimmy: don't worry I ain't gonna come round yours with a white sheet thrown on Jimmy: bit controversial Jimmy: stick to the burning ✞ Janis: come on Janis: be a laugh Janis: call it performance art Jimmy: til I get lynched myself Jimmy: proper outnumbered Janis: nah Janis: they're all pussies Janis: nothing like me, I told you Jimmy: you don't know I ain't Jimmy: never seen me fight Janis: protect you, go on Jimmy: lend us your lighter and I'll think about it Jimmy: mine's 💀👻 Janis: trace the burning ✞ back to me and all Janis: no idiot Janis: but whatever, one sec Jimmy: chuck it out the window, Juliet Jimmy: no need to run Janis: may as well have one myself Jimmy: I get it, you don't reckon I can catch it Janis: I know you can't Janis: also know you won't give it back Jimmy: I'll give it you back tomorrow Janis: fucking hell, if you don't wanna even sit with me, I'll go out front, like Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: can't do tricks out front Janis: [comes out in his hoodie obvs 'cos you said it was freezing but we know she ain't taken it off, like] Jimmy: [is visibly cold af cos been out here ages and gave her his clothes] Janis: ['you idiot' coming at him with said hoodie] Jimmy: [is so much no because bitch you're keeping that] Janis: [🙄 like come here then and wrapping it round them both] Jimmy: [letting that happen because we all wanna] Janis: [rubbing his arms to warmth them 'can get the duvet if you want'] Jimmy: ['be going back in in a bit, it's alright'] Janis: [nods but pulls it tighter/him closer] Jimmy: [again letting that happen shamelessly lol] Janis: [they'd be like so face to face rn it'd be ridiculous 'cos same height, the only way you're avoiding that tension is if you put your head on his shoulder and that's not intimate at all nah] Jimmy: [when you're just playing with her hair like it's in your way and you gotta stop it from harassing you but 👀 you really boy] Janis: [scary grace impression 'don't mess up my hair!'] Jimmy: [lols 'don't do that, it's proper accurate'] Janis: [😏 'spent an unfortunate amount of time with her, least she can give me is a decent impression'] Jimmy: ['I don't want her here or the PTSD tah'] Janis: ['yeah, yeah, you want the lighter I ain't forgot' but not giving it him 'cos vital he be warmthed first obvs] Jimmy: ['I do but-' not finishing that sentence because #danger] Janis: [no escaping how hard she can look at you from this distance though] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna wake him up and the fucking dog will longer I leave going back in, so don't fight me on the floor thing when we do, alright?'] Janis: ['course', I'm not as arsehole' pauses 'I just don't see why you won't take the bed and I'll go on the sofa-' when you say this last bit faster than the rest '-or just share with me it's not like we haven't before'] Jimmy: [nods and tries not to breathe too much 'Really committed to warming me back up, you. Fine then.'] Janis: ['something like that' hands him the lighter] Jimmy: [we know the drill here, ladies first lol] Janis: [when you should really separate to smoke but you just turn so he's behind you 🥄🚬 moment ] Jimmy: [take your chance to shamelessly stare at her boy] Jimmy: [and he should blatantly take a pic because imagine how beautiful she'd look rn and the lighting would be so interesting] Janis: [do it for your 🎨 and 😍 boy] Jimmy: [honestly and it'll stop you saying or doing anything else that you shouldn't] Janis: ['do you reckon I could do it properly..model, like?'] Jimmy: ['Yeah' OMG he answered a question] Janis: [when she's surprised he don't shade her like oh but does best to hide that 'my sister is. Good way out, since I'm not getting deported'] Jimmy: ['I'll look forward to seeing your face on a billboard or whatever and saying I didn't know you' because don't you just hate when peeps pretend to be your bestie when you die/are famous, yep me and Jimmy too] Janis: ['tah, glad it meant so much to ya, mate'] Jimmy: ['It obvs meant everything to me, that's why I've gotta repress all those perfect memories, babe. Tah for that.'] Janis: [turns and 😘 with some smoke coming with] Jimmy: ['see, can't do better than you'] Janis: ['I know, I feel really bad for you, actually. Tragedy.'] Jimmy: [does the violin mime 'get in line, girl, let you jump it a bit 'cause I like you'] Janis: ['yeah?'] Jimmy: [😘 back at her because getting too real there] Janis: [catches it and turns back] Jimmy: [🚬 in silence for a bit because close call] Janis: 'what's your mate called, then?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like he has no idea who she means] Janis: ['Barista boy'] Jimmy: ['He ain't my mate then, is he'] Janis: ['Your mans, I'm sorry'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [nudges back like tell me then] Jimmy: ['Do your own homework, it's the holidays'] Janis: ['such a cockblock, you'] Jimmy: [😒 but trying not to let it show and doing the 💔 with his hands so she'll look there instead] Janis: ['yeah right' and pushing his hands down] Jimmy: [usual Oi and scuffle moment as standard] Janis: [just playfighting always] Jimmy: [when you're just like come on because can't stay out here forever] Janis: ['you finally done?'] Jimmy: [CLEARLY still in his jealousy and thinking about her fucking Pete so walking away] Janis: [just like um excuse me but going too 'cos not gonna stay outside to be awkward] Jimmy: [getting ready for bed moodily lol lol lol] Janis: [when you don't even know what's changed the vibe but what you gonna say, just taking the hoodie and whatever you put on your bottom off] Jimmy: [deliberately not looking at her cos you're in a sulk and can't trust yourself not to say something] Janis: [this won't be awkward at all, lads, time to cram into this bed like there's any option but to snuggle] Jimmy: [who is big 🥄 and who's little?] Janis: [if she's little he can be 'mad' about her hair in his face] Jimmy: [true just #fuming] Janis: ['night'] Jimmy: [when you don't say it back, we know you ain't asleep yet boy] Janis: ['dick'] Jimmy: [a very unamused sound in response like it's her fault you're a jealous dickhead okay then] Janis: [turning 'round in this bed which is treacherous tbh and poking him like what is your problem] Jimmy: [shaking his head because literally what can he say and don't even start me on the position of them both in this tiny bed] Janis: [such a grumpy face] Jimmy: [when she looks so CUTE that it changes your face to 😏 to hide your genuine 😍😊] Janis: ['I'd push you if I wouldn't fall too, and your brother wasn't asleep, lucky' pokes him in the chest again for emphasis on the lucky] Jimmy: ['Nah, you're well anti me being on the floor, said it loads'] Janis: ['plans change, it happens'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'ain't like it'd be the first bruise I'd had off you, least this one'd be real'] Janis: ['can be arranged] Jimmy: ['go on'] Janis: ['later'] Jimmy: ['You ain't gotta be scared or owt, do it'] Janis: ['you're too loud'] Jimmy: [does a 🤐 gesture] Janis: [just LOOKing like are we on the same page I don't think so] Jimmy: [giving her such a look back, kill me tbh] Janis: [we all know she's gonna lovebite him, like] Jimmy: [forever letting shit happen because I want to] Janis: [going hard like the time you nearly took my nip off 'cos challenged and the levels of frustration] Jimmy: [and has anyone ever bit their own lip as hard as he'd have to in this moment jfc because likewise challenged not to be a loud bitch but we know he is and wants to be] Janis: [just keeps looking up to see that struggle like 😏 but also going back in more times than is necessary like] Jimmy: [holding onto her hair not in a soft way because damn people have died struggling less than he is rn] Janis: [the struggle is shared lbr, pulling away, SOMEHOW, 'satisfied?' 😏 you know damn well neither of you are] Jimmy: [just gesturing to his closed mouth with a shrug like I'm not allowed to talk so and we all know he'd need more than a minute if he was gonna] Janis: [just, ( and not very gently), touching all the bruises she just did like 🤔 hmm] Jimmy: [dying but not stopping her because this is all so NBD of course yep] Janis: [shaking her head 'don't worry, did 'em where no one will see, can't let work know how much fun you were having in your sick bed, like'] Jimmy: I reckon the manager's a fan Jimmy: seen him scrolling Janis: well, don't let him take advantage of you, like Janis: more dubious than 🤤 Jimmy: don't do work romances me Janis: 💔 Jimmy: sure that's how my dad reckons all his feel Jimmy: probably more celebratory in reality though Jimmy: based on what they wrote in his 'glad you're fucking off' cards Janis: I get you Janis: watch out for Ian from accounts vibes Janis: not #goals Jimmy: he ain't, soz to piss on your 💍 goals Janis: oh well Janis: think of something, like Jimmy: 🏆🧠 you, like Janis: Obviously Janis: he ain't gonna be pissed off at you that I'm here, is he Janis: probably doesn't know, like Janis: can use my ninja skills Jimmy: he'd have to come home to find out Jimmy: fuck all chance of that Janis: didn't know if he had Janis: his office wifey(s), I guess? Jimmy: Why would he? I'm here, means he don't have to be Janis: yeah, who wants to spend time with their offspring Jimmy: let you know when I meet someone who does Janis: s'shit Janis: why bother reproducing Jimmy: we were all accidents, he just put his name to us Janis: I guess Janis: once is an accident, three times getting dangerously close to a habit Jimmy: full of bad habits him Janis: and not even 😎 with it Janis: actually tragic Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: oh well Janis: won't sleep with my shoes on, then Jimmy: not if you're gonna kick me Jimmy: alright for injuries, tah Janis: shut up, you wanted them Jimmy: You planning to get into the habit of giving me what I want? Janis: depends Jimmy: don't it always Janis: you tell me Jimmy: Tell you what, that it's a bad idea to go with a worse habit? Janis: worse than what Jimmy: owt I've got Jimmy: so don't do nowt for me Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't flatter yourself Jimmy: weren't Jimmy: I were flattering you Janis: sure you were Janis: you ain't more deadly than 🚬 😎boy, calm down Jimmy: you can do better, I've already said, don't have to sound like a 🚭 campaign about it, mate but if that's what gets through your 👂 to that 🧠 Janis: oh please Jimmy: begging ain't a mind changer but crack on Janis: I ain't begging no one but don't patronize me Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [turns and gets as much space between as is physically possible] Jimmy: [finally says 'night' to her] Jimmy: [breaking that silence for it lol] Janis: [makes a similar noise of disgust] Jimmy: [then he's just moving and fussing for an age, soz about it] Janis: [doing a big sigh and getting up and out] Jimmy: ['hang on' before you can stop yourself or she can go] Janis: [looks back like what] Jimmy: [just looking at her like he did at the party when he dragged her away from Harry and was like DON'T] Janis: [when you can't just get back in 'cos you'll look stupid but you do change your plan 'where's your loo?'] Jimmy: [he tells her because idk the layout as usual] Janis: [👍] Jimmy: [just having a sad soft boy moment hoping she'll brb] Janis: [does and silently gets back in] Jimmy: [swap 🥄s kids, when you actually breathe a sigh of relief though that your bae is back #same] Janis: [should probably let them go to sleep lol] Jimmy: [just gotta have him whisper that he's sorry when he reckons she is but yeah sleep and snuggle guys]

[dearbisexual]

Man ive been considering downloading tinder bc i want to date but idk if it's worth it tbh

yeah tinder can be weird, the last time i used it this girl i was talking to said that she wanted someone “driven and goal-oriented” and i was like....... is this a job interview? and then panicked and ghosted her b/c i didn’t know how to say “that doesn’t sound very much like me, have a nice evening“ ksjdfksjdhjksd

[j-katz-blog1]

★ ━ ( alex turner, cis male, he/him ) ━ ★ the other day i ran into JACOB KATZMAN. it’s funny because i was just thinking about how the THIRTY TWO YEAR OLD’s birthday was on JANUARY NINTH and how the last time i saw him, JAKE was AMBITIOUS, DISCIPLINED & PERSISTENT, but could also be PESSIMISTIC, CONDESCENDING, & UNRELENTING. anyway, he has been living in RICHMOND for ONE MONTH & currently works as a CAMPAIGN FIELD DIRECTOR.

yeah... it’s me... mor... again... wes and max are nice so i needed someone MEAN. enter... jake katzman...

first thing’s first: he’s from brooklyn, new york. he’s got the painfully stereotypical accent to prove it (and it only gets worse the drunker he gets).

the only people who call him ‘jacob’ are his parents, people who are angry with him, and the occasional  older person in a professional setting. aside from that, it’s jake all day every day. he even introduces himself as jake.

harvard alumnus (b.a., no graduate school for this mans). his concentration was government (namely, political science), and he graduated with honors. that’s right, he’s smart-smart. even though he walks, talks, and looks like a big ol dumbass.

capricorn KING.

100% has some dumb shit in his tinder bio like ‘your mom would love me’.

... 100% has a tinder profile. 

jake takes his job very seriously. when he’s on the job, it’s a no bullshit zone. and if someone on his team can’t handle it, they’re getting the boot--zero hesitation. he’s made numerous interns cry. but that’s just politics, baby!

never stays in one place longer than a year (at least consistently, he tends to revisit places he’s enjoyed in the past). he jumps place to place to help out campaigns all over the country. 

that being said, this isn’t his first time in portland. his first time was four years ago. he revisited last year. and now he’s here to put a new mayor in office. 

over the years, jake has taken on a number of roles within numerous campaigning teams. it’s all part of his long-term goal to become a presidential campaign manager. 

drinks his coffee black like a psycho.

SUPER competitive. he hates losing. it puts him in a long-lasting bitter ass mood that no one can escape.

registered democrat. he leans more towards liberal ideals. has a lot of opinions on republicans. don’t ask him. don’t let him get into that.

okay... now that you got through all that, here’s some connection ideas if you’re interested in plotting!

ex-girlfriend: i’m thinkin... he had a gf during his time in portland last time he was here--they eventually had to break things off because jake wasn’t fully committed/ready to settle. was probably... messy.

recent tinder dates/hookups gone wrong: jake likes to LIE a lot so it’d be fun for all of that to catch up with him lmao. 

former/current employees: the people who work for jake are volunteers, typically. so... random people in the community, college students, etc. also? maybe an assistant. 

friends: people who he met when he was in portland, or any other city he was working in at the time. 

neighbors: people who also live in richmond! i’m fine with good terms or bad terms tbh. good terms i imagine they get along really well, the type of basis where they can knock on each other’s doors and be welcomed in. and for bad terms? i imagine... it’s some stupid ass rivalry where they fight for parking... or are like. loud on purpose to bother the other. 

i’m also open to anything y’all might think of!

[legaciesmade]

a super weak / bare minimum list of potential plots below the cut!

childhood friends/frenemies/enemies. --- they would’ve grown up together, whether they got along or not. during childhood mathieu wasn’t as emotionally stunted lol but he was pretty snobbish. though he stayed out of conflict enough, he wasn’t afraid of stepping in if he saw some kid(s) getting bullied or whatever. kind of a weird flex on his part to be that guy.

first kiss; open to m/f/nb. --- i’ll be honest, because mat’s been always so goal-orientated, he didn’t have his first kiss until he was like seventeen. it probably happened at some high school party that he didn’t even wanna attend, but was talked into. idk... give me some awkward and cliche memories of teenage parties that had alcohol and dumb kissing games pls.

exes; open to m/f/nb. --- ending on good terms, bad terms, mutually... possibilities are pretty endless, tbh. they could’ve happened any time between ages seventeen and now. could also be ex fwb too.

someone he tutors. --- mathieu’s a very math orientated guy so like... maybe he’s tutoring your muse in some crazy difficult math class?? literally just add tutoring to the long list of things he has to do.

tinder hookup/one time date; open to m/f/nb. --- they matched and tried it out. the date was alright, the sex was better, but in the end it wasn’t gonna work for whatever reason. they decided to remain friends after though, and still talk often.

people who regularly come watch his track meets??? --- give this boy some attention regarding track and he’s gonna swoon internally. it’s the one thing he’s most proud of so getting any type of recognition and he’s thriving. maybe you’ll even get a little joke or two out of him about signing an autograph.

like literally anything at this point. i just want more plots, ya feel?