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#tmi i know
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Blindfolded Vinny 👁️🫦👁️
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Vincent Price - The Man From UNCLE; The Foxes and Hounds Affair
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loveryss · 8 months
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Just came back from my holiday from Denmark. Feeling like absolute garbage 😩 my stomach's in pain and I haven't been able to eat properly for days 🤢
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bananapudding752 · 4 months
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bro my intestines have been cleansed 😭
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littlemoondarling · 6 months
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That moment when you have to hold in your pee because you're too scared to leave your room
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endlessnightlock · 1 year
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so my husband usually wears a goatee, but once a year he has to do a fit test for a respirator he wears at his job which means he has to be clean shaven (mostly). years past he always just shaved everything off but this year...he left a mustache and I. I don’t know if I can have s*x with him with that thing on his face, lol.
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formulalfc · 8 months
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i've never had sex sober and that is insane to me
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minoment · 1 year
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A FELLOW RHEA RIPLEY LOVER? TASTE!!!
SHES JUST SO SHKEUWGWIUEG
My dignity flies out the window and my thighs start shaking whenever I see her..
I am so down horrendous-
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puppybearuniverse · 9 months
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I NEED GAY SEX!!!!!!!!!!
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allwaswell16 · 1 year
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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY !!! 🍾🍾🍾💐💐
Ah thank you! Last year, we tried to do something special and went to Chicago and it was hot af out. We went to a Cubs game and melted and went out to a fancy dinner that was just eh okay. So this year my husband took the day off work and we did two things that we always say we want to do and never do. I follow all these cute coffee shops on Instagram and then just NEVER go to any of them. And my husband always thinks all our local breweries look cool and then NEVER goes to any of them. So we went to one of the coffee shops and I had a flight of iced lattes, and then later we went to a brewery and he had a flight of beers. We had dinner from a Cuban food truck and then we came home and watched Better Call Saul. And we were like HIGH FIVE best anniversary date ever lol.
TLDR: ao3 is down and I'm bored and gave you more info than you asked for
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princessphilly · 1 year
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Well, having Covid just ruined my awakening sex life. Gotta postpone it another week
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sirnica · 2 years
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I have been bitching a lot these days, so here are some good things:
My cat is feeling better. He lost five teeth, but he is fine and snuggly.
I've listened to Gone girl audiobook and it is the funniest book I've read in a long time. But funny like Breaking Bad. I adore those two idiots. They are perfect for each other.
I tried some new supplement and I was able to eat a full large serving of mushrooms (my favorite food) for the first time in like two years, with only mild GI tract consequences. If I up the dosis, they might go away completely. It's a miracle. My only love is back?
My buddy is going away for two weeks and I will miss him, but I'm also so happy for them.
Some of my impulse orders from ali express have finally arrived and I can't wait to pick them up.
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brattylikestoeat · 2 years
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You talking about that frozen rainy day nut incase something goes wrong. You know how much it cost to get tadpoles popsicled? If something went wrong then oh well no little Einsteins for me. I'm content with a weak pullout game. Lol I like to marinade when I'm in it. Plus my daddy had 16 kids. The world needs less of my genetic not more. I got 2 full blooded siblings anyways.
You said so many things that made my mouth drop. Not the little swimmers in the freezer, didn’t know it cost thought it was part of the whole process. Learn something new everyday.
And marinating in it is such a funny phrase like sir pls. 
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krutomu · 1 month
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tongue kissing is crazy. Journal entry about this topic #9,000,000 I am sorry. but it’s so weird.
The mouth is an insane texture. Didn’t imagine that. My mouth doesn’t feel like that from the inside! Also teeth. Big part of it is teeth unless you’re both like dentist style mouth open.
idk im finally starting to warm up to it a bit because i have shared an ice pop with this dude before so obviously the spit isn’t the issue
i know I’m just autistic about most things but wow. Kissing with tongue is crazy. Kissing is in general. We smash our mouths together in affection! It’s very sweet maybe it feels that way because of the exclusivity of it (for me at least. Current partner is the only guy I’m kissing like this)
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vampv0id · 8 months
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Today's Adventure: Going to the ER for a kidney infection :D
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injuredarcher · 10 months
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not to be horny on main, but I love my wife
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crabs-but-better · 11 months
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god i have got to get a razor or a trimmer (<- guy who has been using scissors to trim his pussay hair for the last six years)
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