#to go thru that again. or something. idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

infizero · 2 years

Text

its been a while since my Favorite Guy at the moment was a terrible person ive almost missed it. like yesssss i love him he plagues my brain <3 i hope he gets run over by a truck and the people he’s hurt spit on his grave!!!!

#slash lighthearted like. hes not THE WORST. but hes deffo not a GOOD person ToT #the way i see it. he does care about scar. but he is already emotionally repressed by nature and so letting down his walls in 3l #and that resulting in him having to kill the one closest to him with his bare fists......... yeah certainly didnt help!#just made him go ''ahh ok cool so i was right to not let anyone close to me. cool cool time to keep him as far away as possible'' (ll)#but then the universe is like haha lol no. and forces him to be w scar again and grian cannot allow a repeat of 3l #he cant go thru that again. so he continues to distance himself from scar. and he is a total asshole make no mistake #but i do think he does still care about scar somewhere deep down #but he is hurting him so much more by acting like he doesnt. and he doesnt seem to care. cause hes selfish and focused on HIMSELF not having #to go thru that again. or something. idk #he sucks for sure though!#serena.txt

2 notes · View notes

taakitz · 2 months

Text

sorry this is random as fuck but. does any1 have any advice (or reading recs) for drawing with less expectations/pressure on yourself? like. advice on how to just enjoying the act of making art vs. drawing with the final product in mind?? how do i enjoy art again.

#i haven’t drawn in a month maybe two #i just get so Scared (for lack of a better word) over something i should Enjoy #i have been talking to my therapist about this and it helps for suresies but i feel i need insight from ppl who have Been Thru This #being an artist is such an integral part of my identity and i hate that i’ve put all of these expectations onto myself cause of it ):#i don’t know how to love making art if the art isn’t a perfect finished piece.#i know people always say ‘make bad art!!!!!’ but i don’t know how to learn to enjoy making bad art?#and i can’t slog through smth i don’t enjoy at least a little (adhd)#and i just. i want to love making art again.#like when i was in elementary and middle school just drawing in a lined notebook no expectations just drawin pokemon and animals #idk. i’m not that upset i just needed to get these thoughts out before i go to work #‘i’m not that upset’ (<<< he is lying)

15 notes · View notes

kinokoshoujoart · 1 month

Note

i read your hmds cute guide and i don’t know if i’m more scared or amazed by you. probably both.

had no idea one could grind their way towards having the harvest goddess unlocked in the spring year 1??? insane. diabolical, even. hats off to you, cora. i have so many questions.

answer to all questions: there’s no length i wouldn’t go to for my toxic terrible wife + on all levels except physical i am a dwarf

#all of them #i’m just tommy wiseau walking thru the door of WP’s hut with a bouquet of dead chickens going ‘anything for my princess’#asks #thank you anon i’ll continue doing great again today!#idk my brain is shaped the same as this hell simulator #it scratches the ‘my hands need to be doing the same repetitive task 1000 times in a row’ while i’m paying attention to something else’ bug

10 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months

Text

...

#that's 2 of 3 partys in my moms honor down. this one was our childhood neighbor friends #which it was really good to see them but it was really just a party. no one really talked about her at all. the subject was avoided #i think bc ppl r awkward abt it. like im fine to talk abt it. it happened. i dont see a point in avoiding it #but im also not the most socially adept. which i did pretty good talking to ppl but i was still the most awkward one there #and idk this experience has really taught me that u should have a lot of friends and a spouse bc i dont kno how a person like me could go #thru what my mom did and survive if i didnt have my dad. so i guess i have to con someone into marrying me #id b difficult to marry. im difficult to b friends with. im too avoidant of any people #im gonna die like that lady from 6 feet under with no friends. like a fridge fell on her or something. idk #but i cant die bc my dad cant go thru this again. i dunno. well see what life throws at me #also. my childhood friends r a lot of real smart ppl. like a lot of engineers and medical doctors #they make me feel so dumb. but alas. im but a humble environmental Science person #ay. i dunno. it was fun but im drained #and my cousings boyfriend is still a fucking freak who harasses animals. he really upset one of our dogs #my sister says she can imagine him murdering someone and tbh so could i. so i hope my cousins safe #unrelated

10 notes · View notes

puppyeared · 1 year

Text

uhh. uhhhhh

#realistically i knw that if i went thru with making animatics for all of these songs I think my hand would fall off BUT. i have brainrot #half of these songs are either here bc of the vibe or because i listened to the lyrics and read analyses and put 2 much effort than i had t #ALSO LISTEN. LISTEN BODYBAG IS EXACTLY EVERYTHING I IMAGINE WHENEVER I THINK OF WUKONG AND MACAQUES RELATIONSHIP OK #two birds and baby hotline is also kind of self explanatory. although most of the jack stauber songs are mostly for vibe #bitter water is a very specific flavor of pining / unhealthy outlook. kind of has like an insatiable vibe to it but idk how to name it #i want soap to be a healing song but maybe im just being optimistic. im here for the vibes although i feel like if swk and macaque were #actually to make up i think they would go into it kicking and screaming. and im frustrated because i cant find a song to match that #except maybe bodybag which AGAIN. THEY ARE SO FUCKING STUPID THATS HOW THEYRE GONNA HEALL FLYING BARK PLS #what if it doesnt end well also feels like a doomed narrative to me. like if you think about it from how their relationship might have st #started (and im probably taking from how everyone romanticizes their relationship as something really innocent or sweet at the start which #i am also not immune to that). but knowing them it is also a very good possibility thats not the case at all. what it is i dont know #primadonna also strikes me as a swk song but like msotly because he serves cunt. on that note I like to imagine rose colored boy as swk to #MK.BECAUSEEE i love how MK brings out the best in people AND AND AND!! 5000 year old immortal who has seen some shit come on people 'and i #have taken my glasses off' COME ON LOOK ATIT. you could also argue that could be macaque to MK and it would make sense #Spotify #Lego Monkie kid #lmk #yapping #playlist #monkie kid

29 notes · View notes

edmunderson · 12 hours

Text

well. I finished the final part of SotO. the only highlights being:

1) it's over. Maybe now we can go back to Cantha for a while.

2) snargle is also popular in nayos

And that's about it.

despite having a pretty solid start, i gotta say that SotO is probably the weakest expac in the storyline, and i will not be playing thru it again. Like. I'm just gonna chalk it up as Not Canon (or at least Mostly Not Canon) for my commander

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #gw2 spoilers #soto spoilers #idk how they did it but anet managed to drag out a barely there plot for like. a year?#while playing thru it felt like 10 years because of how fuckin bored i was through about 70% of it #i dunno if they hyped nayos up too much or what but. it was a bit of huge letdown #like i loved the scenery. it just felt empty? but also way too busy at the same time if that makes sense #and the story instance where you go up the tower was so damn laggy that i actually almost died during the final fight because #the frame rates dropped severely.#my god the awful frame rates...... and i have my graphics set low-low mid #apparently zojja was at the final eparch fight??? didn't see her but then again it was hard to see anything lol #anyway. i'd recommend just skipping this expac unless it's on sale or something. or just watch a playthrough of it

2 notes · View notes

hauntingblue · 3 months

Text

Ace....... my beautiful dead wife comes back to haunt me once again

#luffy will bring this country down just bc he can't have another serving of rice bc otama can't afford it #she makes hats.... ace learnt to make hats in wano.....#she is waiting for ace.... just like me fr....#i was saying i could cry and well i am....#congrats luffy now she is sick AND sad #like i get he will never ever hide something but damn #FUCKING X DRAKE TOO?????#i am crying just by seeing ace again this cant be true akdhaks #like omg him doing something else that is not dying 😭😭#going thru it do not contact me..............#talking tag #watching one piece #episode 894 #you know how many times i have typed episide???. episide.... bc my fucking fingers cant coordinate listen i am on episOde 894....#i have written this word so many times and fucking sitll..#brook with a summer body tee lmao #until now the fillers have been time sensitive idk what changed now lmao #WHAT IS BOA HANCOCK DOING THERE #he said not only hancock but hancock kun.... this is a big day for her l #i accept outfit deviations in fact in luffy's case i welcome them bc the frilly shirt doesn't do it for me #but changing his chanclas.... criminal offense #i love hancock luffy team ups (have they been only in fillers/movies????) but not when it undermines hancocks abilities #for this filler they found nami in the middle of a work out sesh or what.... wristbands and all #robin too looks like that akdhskdks #sanji with the tie drawn on his tee.... so casual too #idk what brook has going on #episode 895 #episode 896

2 notes · View notes

piplupod · 3 months

Text

mother: "theres this great job where you'd be on-call to come in!"

me: "ahhh i don't really want to be on-call, that would stress me out a lot because I'd always be on edge,,"

mother: "no you wouldn't, you could make it your thing!"

me: "...my thing?"

mother: "being on call! it'd be great! :)"

me: "i would probably be crying like... a lot ahaha. because I would always be on edge never knowing when to expect having to go into work, yknow?"

mother: "nooo, you could just make it a thing!"

me: "sorry, what do you mean by thing?"

AND I NEVER FOUND OUT !!

#i feel very ill fdsjkl tonight was ... not good #not the worst definitely not the worst #just. a lot of diet talk and making fun of other ppl that she expected us to all laugh at (and we did. idk if they found it funny.)#and brother labelling some influencer having rape charges against him just ''internet drama''#number one: i dont want to hear about that. number two: that is not just ''drama'' that is like. serious. what the fuck is wrong w youuuu #my mother will say that all the food i eat is very bad for me and do that while knowing full well i struggle to eat Anything #and say that simply Adding things to the diet is pointless bc ur poisoning urself still! u have to Take Out things! i cant fucking do that!#im still baffled that two years ago when i tried to go to them for help when i was almost fainting from not eating they just shrugged at me #''okay? why are u telling us this?'' BECAUSE YOU ARE MY PARENTS. AND I AM TRYING TO GET HELP.#i should've known better than to try tbh but like. its so hard to completely let go of every sliver of hope that they'll... be kind #like me saying i was feeling suicidal a few yrs ago just garnered a ''oh don't start this again. we're not doing this again.''#and me admitting my own damn self to the psych ward just had her telling me ''i dont think you actually needed to go :/''#mother dearest if it werent for the other fuckers in the brain (caused by you abusing me) then i would've been dead several times over #i am so fucking tired i am so sick of these ppl it is so incredibly painful and terrifying that this is supposed to be my family #this is the one support system i get in life. and it is no support system at all. i am fucked !! i am so unbelievably fucked!!!#i know other ppl make it thru but they are much stronger than me. i am lacking something that they all have lmao. i am cowardly and weak!!!#i have been trying so fucking hard to figure out how to like. make this work. how to survive in this society and its just. impossible #i think we're back to the clock ticking down as my bank account runs out #i cannot be employed and ppl keep telling me disability won't accept me so i am just. unanimously fucked over i suppose #i have two years !! two years until i run out of money!!! thats a lot of time!! to make all the art i want to make!!#i will make this work for these two years i will cope and make my art and disconnect and daydream through the intolerable parts #i will make these two years so good sdfjkl im gonna make it to the end of them #sorry this is all coming flooding out fsjdkl i've just tried so hard to be like. positive abt things and laugh abt things and be okay #im tired of trying to make it okay fdsjkl i am wallowing tonight i guess. boohoo poor little me fdsjkl i'll probably get over it soon #just need to like. let a little of the pressure leak out so i don't completely crack and do smth stupid #it will be okay !!! or as okay as it can be !!! this will be blocked out by tomorrow morning probably!!#or it'll have to be LMAO i have my silly old lady yarn group tomorrow and i need to be Normal for that #suicide tw #abuse tw #ed tw

5 notes · View notes

stonerzelda · 4 months

Text

not that i could afford it anyway but its so wild to me that fae farm doesnt have a special edition or like an artbook ....i also cant believe that it isnt insanely popular like from the second it was announced i was like oh this is going to be an instant classic and it IS to ME!!!!! gdodhdj its just its like zelda + harvest moon + mysims ITS JUST REALLY GOOD and idk. I would like to see more content for it <3

#sorry for this random rant that Doth not matter at all its just suchhh a beautiful game that like. despite being brand new scratches this #specific nostalgic itch for me. its like being a kid and playing with my barbie swan lake playset again #<- definitely a normal thing to say. idk man im going thru something atm

2 notes · View notes

polaraffect · 4 months

Text

current state of politics really got me swerving wildly between "yes I want to present as a man" and "oh god is this even worth it maybe I'm not even really trans" and it's bringing me to my limit

#damien.txt #sorry its like 5 am and i havent slept and wanna vent so. here inam #i really do be having a wild time bc ill have like. weeks at a time where ill be like. wait a second. what if im not trans actually #okay well. never in a 'im 100% not trans' way but in a 'maybe i shouldnt transition' way #and then ill have a day where i wake up and go. oh. i think that feeling is just coming from fear about. the current state of trans issues #because oh my FUCKING GOD am i scared like 24/7 bc of that shit #and so like. then im like. maybe i really am like. actually transmasc. fr. bc i like. literally have been feeling it my whole life.#and then i wake up a couple weeks later back at the beginning like hmm....... but..... what if....#and im so tired of not knowing!! it's fucking exhausting questioning what the fuck is happening w me every 2 seconds #and im being dramatic abt it but idk. i think its a symptom of neurodivergence or something bc im like. so so scared abt being trans atm #at a level that is. certainly unhealthy.#and it really feels like something that is inhibiting me from doing things in life which is like. upsetting y'know!#but at the same time. the concept of going thru life as my birth gender is... bad. sort of inconceivable at this point.#and this is particularly hard bc like. really going back and forth on making decisions abt taking T. bc when i get in these spirals #abt maybe not being trans. i get the urge to not take it. but like. i cant fluctuate w a medicine like that that much!#but at the same time when i go back to being like oh yeah transmasc... my brain is like cool. take T again. so. fuck me i guess.#idk man. im just like. i just want to live my life without being perceived by others actually #my true gender is no one's business <3 thanks #i am. tired.

2 notes · View notes

skitskatdacat63 · 7 months

Text

Why do I say things like this. Like what was the need. Why do I feel the need to jinx myself. What was the reason.

#lol just looking thru my drawings and i saw that tag #and im like YOU! ITS YOUR FAULT IM BURNT OUT! I BLAME YOU(catie from that specific day)#anyways trying to draw nando and ITS NOT GOING WELL YKNOW #i still really struggle with drawing real people #seb is okay bcs ive drawn him the most and like have stared at his face for hours so...familiar...yeah...#and i do in fact look at a fuckton of nando pics BUT GOD HIS FACE IS SO DIFFICULT #he just has very like odd features i guess. AND HES VERY HANDSOME FOR IT but god they do not lend to easy drawing #i miss oc drawing where theres no accuracy really required since its all from my head #not that im never drawing ocs again. theyre still my beloved but i dont rly have any ideas atm for them :<#wanna draw rüß as an f1 driver tbh bcs ive been maladaptive daydreaming about that for the past few weeks #but as you know im somewhat allergic to drawing racesuits 😭#also im wondering if drawing chibis so much fucked up my sense of style bcs now i struggle sometimes w proportions #i just. dont want to be burnt out anymore. i know its something you cant really force yourself thru #and also that you shouldn't force yourself cause it just makes it worse but #idk. i wanna draw so badly 😭 and i do it and sometimes it works out and sometimes im just staring at the screen like. oh.#i want to also finish the pt 2 to the boy king ficlet. i always randomly add a few paragraphs to it #blah blah anyways just thinking. i feel a bit frustrated and unfufilled atm i guess #like that feeling in your chest of tightness. its the worst. i wanna throw something or break something i guess #PLEASE JUST LET ME DRAW MY PORTRAIT OF KING NANDO IM BEGGING #he'll be so pretty okay 😭😭 i just cant get his fucking face right #ignore me ignore me. catie is: going through it #i miss the sense of urgency that drawing before my flight gave me #i like having that sense of incentive and deadline. like: you genuinely need to finish this right now.#if not then its me creating meaningless deadlines in my head that actually make me have worse burn out 🙃#i love how before texas im like i am going to finsih all my wips!! anf then finished exactly: zero #catie.rambling.txt

4 notes · View notes

paceplace · 6 months

Text

i might (very huge on the might part) start playing ttr again albeit very irregularly bc my mom started playing ttr again and she's been asking me for help on how to play due her not properly** touching the game since tto's shutdown 20 years ago. finally... my knowledge of tto/some ttr mechanics will be utilized after so long. that part of my brain has been beginning to grow cobwebs fr

#for her sake and mine i don't want her to touch clash. i feel like that'd be a disaster and the new stuff would make her head explode 😭#i say 'again' and 'not properly' bc i grinded her main to 100+ 2 years ago? or something? bc she did not wanna go thru the taskline #or train gags which was like. fair. but a lot of the strats or combos are lost on her. im p sure she rmbrs the sound one tho lol #i suggested she start right from the beginning w/ a new toon bc i'd prefer she redo everything than deal w/ high laff randoms #i still stand by my opinion ttr randoms esp if higher laff are terrible. maybe there are more nicer players but i dont wanna risk it #my experience is that lower / mid-game randoms are nicer to each other idk whats going on w everyone else and idc to figure it out #i digress. its nice to know she still likes the game and turned to me for help #toontown #talking tag

3 notes · View notes

imwritesometimes · 10 months

Text

maybe I just don't actually want to write fic anymore.................

#i write sometimes #liiiiiiike 🙃🙃🙃#I wrote 3 short dialogue sentences and closed my laptop #and I can't make myself open it back up #my brain is just like meh #and idk man I'm really starting to think it's just not gonna happen anymore #I mean. this is the first time I've even gotten an inkling of an idea for something in MONTHS and it feels like I'm FORCING myself #to try and work on it #and it's like.... I feel like I don't want to do ANYTHING anymore. I got sick of sıms again. don't wanna work on fic #I just wanna fckn sleep. sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep forever and ever and ever and ever #and I've been this way my whole life I know what's coming I can feel it in my bones I know the Horrors are coming #the bone deep inescapable Mental Horrors #and I also know the only way to even KINDA not go thru that is to force myself to do ANYTHING but... I just wanna be a lump.#but then I think abt NOT writing or seeing this thru and I'm like 😟#and I'm also just WAY too in my own head like oh a chapter can't be this long this is too much set up but can't get to meat & taters yet #like I just wanna scream

4 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months

Text

...