modern steddie au where steve is a pop star that is known for writing slightly gender ambiguous lyrics but dates new ladies monthly and eddie is a music reviewer on youtube that breaks down all of steve’s queerest songs to prove that he could actually have a chance with him. like just imagine eddie fighting for his life in the comments against all of steve’s fans debating whether him saying “he” during a live performance was intentional or just a bad recording.
and then when it comes out that yes, steve is queer and yes, he knows about eddie and hell yes, he would go on a date with him, eddie's comments explode with people still arguing about the validity of it all. but then after a few months, eddie and steve break the internet with a simple 5 minute youtube vid confirming that they are indeed seriously dating and steve has to keep reminding eddie to wipe the smugness off his face and to stop saying “told ya so” to the viewers.
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I think it's interesting to look at the 'Mr. Bridgerton' scene as a backdrop for the eventual mirror scene. Firstly, in the fact that I think we've kind of misinterpreted it.
So many people are of the mind that scene's purpose to 'drag' Colin, but really, that scene has 3 primary functions. The first is to inform Colin that Penelope is aware of what he said of her, thus opening the door to clearing the air between them and providing an avenue for which Colin can apologize. The second is to establish the ground that they are currently on: Penelope has given up on the dream of Colin Bridgerton, in particular the perfect prince that can do no wrong, and has made it clear to him. It also creates distance between them that they will bridge.
But the third, and to me the most wrapped up in the mirror and the inner workings of their relationship is that it reveals how Penelope feels about *herself*. It's not necessarily an echo of what the ton considers her as, after all, we have a lot of evidence indicating that, for all intents and purpose, people aren't *unkind* about her, but rather that they ignore her. Audience members recognize this as Penelope's own shyness being the cause, she is often sitting off on the sidelines or not really talking to much of anyone, in the books she's referred to as the 'one who doesn't speak', and her LW business takes her away from being a character in the action of the ton to a bystander, kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts that perpetuates itself. Pen felt unseen so she became LW to have some power, but then LW herself must remain unseen and Penelope continues to be by design of her own making.
No, I think what it really reveals is that Penelope has incredibly low personal self esteem. We as a fandom has lauded that scene as her dragging Colin, saying that he's cruel and calling him Mr. Bridgerton is absolutely meant to create distance between them, but I don't think she's dragging him.
Because the person she is *actually* dragging here. . .is herself. And it is a general theme in her life. In Whistledown. Aloud. Even with Marina, when she complimented her, she assumes that she's lying. When Edwina says she's wearing a pretty dress, Penelope puts herself down and doesn't believe her, even when the compliment is genuine. In truth, Portia is not seen as being particularly unkind to Penelope. At least, speaking as someone who's mum was *awful* about my size and weight and outfits, Portia is. . .overall rather mild. She's not KIND and loving, not by a long shot, but she's also not targeting Penelope only. She's plenty mean and critical to Prudence, too, even to the point where she foists her off to her own cousin as a pawn piece. Penelope has low self esteem because of a lot of reasons, she's bullied by Cressida (I think a lot of girls are, she was pretty mean even to Daphne in S1) and her family isn't very tender to her, and she's not being pursued at every turn, but part of it is also her own perpetuation.
Listen to what she says "Of course you would never court me" "I embarrass you" "I am the laughingstock of the the ton". She sees *herself* as an embarrassment. She puts *herself* down. Arguably, more so than the ton does. She's meaner to herself than anyone else is, aside from Cressida. And honestly? Looking at Colin's face there. . .he is HURT that she considers herself this way. That she's projecting that onto him. Yes, he's hurt that he hurt her, of course he is, he never wants to hurt her. And yes, he's ashamed that he said he wouldn't court her the way he did and that in doing so, he validated her fears that she is unloved and unwanted, but also because. . .she already feels that way about herself. She's felt that way for years. And it's painful to care about someone, to see them as wonderful, and realize. . .they don't feel the same about themselves at all. I don't think Colin is out here feeling so wounded over the fact that she called him cruel and won't refer to him by first name anymore, but that he's most hurt by what she says about herself.
Because he *doesn't* see her the way she accuses. She says she never expected him of all people to be so cruel, but he feels the same way. He never expected her to be so cruel to *herself*. He wants to go somewhere private, not because she is an embarrassment, but because he wants to have a private conversation with her. Maybe assure her. Maybe explain himself. Maybe hash it out. But god Luke Newton's acting. . .he is *aching* for her. And it feels like he's going to do those lessons not in atonement for what he said (thank god) but to genuinely help his friend who thinks badly of herself. To lift her up. It's not about him at all, not about earning forgiveness, but about elevating Penelope. And that's. . .fuck, I just find that's just so heart stoppingly beautiful.
You can see, in that scene, how much he cares about her. How deeply and genuinely he adores her as a person. And just how painful it is for him to know he has validated, whether on purpose or otherwise, how poorly she feels about herself. How low her self-confidence really is. She is giving him a glimpse into the cracks of her heart, and when he sees them, he wants to reach out with both hands and make it feel better. Make her feel better.
After she says 'even when I change my entire wardrobe', he looks so fucking crushed. So 'don't say that'. So 'you really believe that?'. So 'God, I hate that you think that way'.
Because regardless of it all, he does love her. It's not romantic yet. It's not sexual yet. But he genuinely, truly, from the bottom of his heart, thinks she's wonderful. That was evident even in the 'purpose' scene. Every time Penelope opens up and reveals a facet of herself, he likes it. He likes her barbs and her dreams, he likes talking to her. He likes her. And he feels awful that he hurt her. And he feels awful that she's hurting herself. He loves her. He wants her to love herself.
And that's where the mirror scene comes in. Because the mirror scene isn't about sex, not really. Not entirely, at least. The mirror scene is about *intimacy*. The mirror scene is about being seen. Not just her seeing him, or him seeing her, but for Penelope to see *herself*. In a way, through his eyes. Because hers are biased rather negatively toward herself, which is evidenced in the 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene, and in so many little moments we've already gotten where she's literally looking down on herself, feeling down. She doesn't necessarily *like* what's in the mirror, but he does. Because he likes *her*. And he wants to show her that he does. Show her that he finds her beautiful and have her recognize that in herself.
The 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene is about Penelope revealing how she sees herself. The mirror scene is about Colin showing her how *he* sees her. The Goodnight scene is about Penelope thinking she means nothing to him, that he thinks of her the way she thinks of herself, that this is how everyone thinks of her, and the mirror scene is a direct response to that: No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't think she's embarrassing. No, he doesn't think she's a laughingstock. No, he doesn't think she's unappealing. And he doesn't think she should, either.
And he's going to show her that. Not just tell her, but show her. The mirror scene is so often a focus on Penelope, so much of Polin is in Penelope's focus, but approaching it from Colin's perspective and his motivations is so fulfilling, too. It's a glimpse into them in conversation, and a demonstrate of how Colin loves her. How Colin loves in general, openly and earnestly and altruistically. How he encourages her to be braver and more confident in herself, bolstering her because he just likes her *that much*. How he finds the most fulfillment and satisfaction in caring aloud. The mirror scene is a demonstration of his heart in reflection.
When Luke Newton said the first word that came to mind with the word 'Mirror' was 'Exposed', he doesn't just mean physically. He means emotionally, too.
God this couple is so fucking good.
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finalized smallishsona au party, in true join order:
grian, justice. his persona is signy, and his weapon is a naginata. he's an all-arounder who gets both physical and magical attacks, with a focus on dark and light magic (eiha/kouha damaging skills and mudo/hama instakill skills alike). technically the earliest member of the team, also one of the three starter members of the team when joel joins. he has been doing this the longest out of anyone, and sometimes, it shows in ways that aren't so great.
scar, magician. his persona is majnun, and his weapon is bows. a magic and ailment-based attacker, but he gets healing and support skills in his moveset as well (that, story-wise, he focused on due to him and grian being the only two persona wielders for a while, and scar's persona being the only one suited for them). his element is wind/garu. acts as the early-game healer until joel gets better options, then settles into massive magic damage and ailments.
joel, wildcard/fool. he has many personas and roles, but his starting persona is pygmalion, who is associated with ice/bufu. his weapon is knives. his role in the party is to be everything for everyone all the time. no this doesn't say anything about him. shut up.
skizz, chariot. his persona is enkidu, and his weapon is brass knuckles. a heavy physical attacker through-and-through, the fact that his attacks cut his own hp to deal damage is unfortunately fitting for his character. what little magic he gets is fire/agi, but like, he's the party member that learns charge naturally, you will not be using those unless you have to knock over some guy's weakness and joel forgot to bring a persona to cover it. while his rescue and awakening happens before joel starts exploring Altered Space, it takes a little bit for skizz to join, as unlike joel, using his persona does not come naturally to him. also is the earlier members to get various buff skills.
mumbo, moon. his persona is ariadne, and he is the navigator. for those unfamiliar, the navigator does not enter battle with the rest of the party, but DOES have the ability to help buff the party, scan enemies for weaknesses, and do other helpful things to help the team, well, navigate. giving a man with anxiety an all-seeing web probably can't hurt anything, right? in my head he functions as a cross between fuuta's very useful scan and various dungeon skills (like the escape one), and futaba's very useful in-battle buffs.
impulse, emperor. his persona is siegfried, and his weapon is axes. he's the TRUE party healer who gets stuff like me patra (heals the party of any status effects), samerecarm (revives someone with full health), and mediarahan (heals the party to full health) as his persona gets to higher levels. he also picks up electric/zio skills for decent damage (although he doesn't have scar's magic stat and is very much built to heal most of the turns he's around). it probably says something about him that he gets healing skills once he truly awakens his persona, especially given skizz. while he's aware of his persona from the start of the plot, it takes until a bit of a ways into the plot for him to truly awaken to it. also, because this is an au and not an actual game, i can get away with the most effective party healer joining this late. any other persona game, he'd be one of the earliest members. for obvious reasons. (and the fact scar is their most effective healer for a long while is. DEFINITELY a plot point here.)
gem, empress. her persona is atalanta, and her weapon is swords. she's a late-game powerhouse type build, with powerful bufu/ice magic in combination with almighty/untyped magic damage. she can show up and cast megioladon on the shadows' asses, is what i'm saying. she also gets the debuff and buff skills that aren't already scattered across the existing party members, but unlike scar, she doesn't get concentrate, so she's not the PERFECT damage-dealer here. as one of the two party members who hasn't been directly tied into this plot from the beginning, it's possible she has her own motivations and things going on that the rest of the party doesn't know behind her awakening. but that would just be silly, right...?
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sometimes i do feel for the adaptation team of tged when it comes to the relationship between alicia and lloyd because like. they were fighting a losing battle since the very beginning.
either they respected the source material and got crazy people (me) pointing out that the protagonist has more chemistry and relationship build up with his best friend than he does with his supposed romantic interest.
or they change it in the adaptation to make alloyd have more interactions and build up and get crazy people (me) upset and questioning why they're omitting or changing scenes that make lloyd and javier's relationship deeper in the novel to make them seem less close than they truly are.
there's just no winning for them because this is something that is inextricable from the source material
in the novel lloyd and javier's relationship is the core of the plot. whatever they have going on is the heart of the entire thing. and either you accept that and the fact that there's bound to be people who will see it as something romantic and be disgruntled when lloyd is unceremoniously married off to someone he barely knew and did not want to marry for 90% of the novel. or you change it and completely destroy the core of the plot, ruining what's probably the best part of the story.
it's an impossible choice,,,, if you're someone who can't stand the idea of having a protagonist who's a little fruity with his best friend that is lmao
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