#to know their entire soul like its your own

[mumms-the-word]

Illithid Souls - Part 1

What’s up with mind flayers and souls anyway?

I know this deep dive has been done before like a hundred times, based on all the Reddit threads I’ve read, but I feel like a lot of the "evidence" has been scattered about in a lot of places (reddit, tumblr, other threads, other socials, etc). So I figured...why not gather a lot of it here in one place?

As with all my deep dives, this post is designed to equip you with some lore so you can build your own theories and ideas. I’ll offer theories that I find interesting or feasible, but lore is always a little hazy so I’m bound to be wrong or you’re bound to interpret things differently. Just have fun with the lore!

I’ll start by defining what D&D calls a soul, and then…well it unravels from there. In this part we're going to dive into the lore about souls, the afterlife, and where mind flayers differ, along with a bit of in-game context. In Part 2 we'll look at individual case studies (Tav/Durge, Orpheus, Karlach, and Gale).

Buckle up, folks, cause it's a long one!

As always, I’ll include images and image descriptors/text written out in case the pictures fail or are too small to read!

What is a soul?

The entire game of Baldur's Gate 3 is heavily invested in the idea of souls. Raphael wants to bargain with your soul. Mizora has Wyll's soul bound to a contract. Cazador plans to sacrifice 7007 souls. Vlaakith consumes the souls of her faithful. Karlach wants to collect (and use) soul coins. Every tadpoled follower of the Absolute is called a True Soul. This game is OBSESSED with souls.

But it never actually defines a soul, does it? So what do the official D&D rules say?

Well...they don't. Older editions used to split hairs about the difference between a soul and a spirit, but those older editions also used to say that elves, orcs, and half-orcs didn't have souls, so...we've moved on a bit from those days.

In the game, a book on soul coins defines souls as "the sum of personal and magical essence," which is both helpful and vague. The general player consensus is that a soul is the animating "force" that is made up of memories, personality, intelligence, and (possibly) morality, and that in some cases, such as the spell Speak with Dead, a soul differs from a spirit, which merely "animates" the body but does not actually possess the personality or the thinking capabilities of the deceased (though it may have access to memories).

Speak with Dead [...] Until the spell ends, you can ask the corpse up to five questions. The corpse knows only what it knew in life, including the languages it knew. [...] This spell doesn't return the creature's soul to its body, only its animating spirit. Thus, the corpse can't learn new information, doesn't comprehend anything that has happened since it died, and can't speculate about future events.

So there's a chance that while an entire soul is generally made up of personality, memories, and some element of active thinking/decision making/speculation (intelligence, for lack of a better term), the part of a soul that functions as an "animating spirit" is what houses memory. In other words, animating spirit (memories) + personality + intelligence = soul.

This idea of the animating spirit (memories) being housed within a soul, but also detachable from a soul, is important for later, so remember this in a bit.

Souls also have power, which is why the game is obsessed with everyone fighting over souls. Raphael, Mizora, and Cazador trade in souls in exchange for power. There are insinuations in the game that the gods want to stop the "scourge of soulless illithids" (Mystra's words) because souls are a kind of currency to them (though, trust me, trying to find a recent D&D source that clearly states that particular stance is a damn migraine of an endeavor). But Withers does say that souls imbue gods with power, so the game at least operates with that assumption in mind.

According to Withers…

We all know that Withers, aka Jergal, aka the Final Scribe, aka the former god of death, aka the expert on souls, has plenty to say when you ask him to elaborate on anything:

Well, okay, maybe he doesn't. But he does have a bit more to say about souls and mind flayers. For example, when he first brings up the topic of illithids and souls in Moonrise, this is some of the information he can give the player.

Withers: I shall ask yet again. Do illithids possess souls? Player: These abominations are soulless, surely. Withers: Correct. - Player: I'm not sure. Don't all living things? Withers: No. Nor canst thou count mind flayers among them. - Player: I admit I haven't thought about it. Withers: Thou shalt think about it now, and I shall give the answer. Mind flayers are soulless. Yet the Three amass an illithid army, void of apostolic souls that could imbue them with power.

A couple of things to note here. Jergal, the guy in charge of putting down the names of people who die and keeping track of where their souls go, is pretty clear that he thinks mind flayers don't have souls. But his last statement clarifies two things: one, that he is referring specifically to apostolic souls (more on that in a bit) and that souls imbue gods with power.

Souls give the gods a kind of strength. He brings this up when he criticizes the dumb plot the Dead Three came up with in his post-epilogue scene:

Thou sought to bolster thy strength by taking away the souls of mortals. But souls vanish when their hosts become mind flayers.

So we know that souls are a source of power for deities and gods because they imbue gods with power and strength. But gods only get the power of these souls after a mortal dies with their soul intact. If someone becomes a mind flayer...well, let's just say the natural order of things gets disrupted.

What happens when you die?

You see, normally, when someone dies in Faerûn (assuming they are humanoid), their soul travels to the Fugue Plane where it basically waits around until a deity picks them up or Kelemvor decides they're just going to be part of the Wall of the Faithless for forever. From the Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide (page 20 because I am, as youtuber Swoop says in her docs, a thorough bitch):

The Afterlife Most humans believe the souls of the recently deceased are spirited away to the Fugue Plane, where they wander the great City of Judgment, often unaware they are dead. The servants of the gods come to collect such souls and, if they are worthy, they are taken to their awaited afterlife in the deity's domain. Occasionally, the faithful are sent back to be reborn into the world to finish work that was left undone.

This is where the idea of apostolic souls comes in. Apostolic, in its most basic definition, means "having the characteristics of an apostle," or having the characteristics of someone who dedicates their entire lives to the teaching of a particular religious figure (in our context and reality, this mostly means the apostles of Christ, but in BG3 it would refer to any deity). I think here, the definition gets stretched a little thinner to mean any soul that is capable of devotion to a deity, rather than a soul that is already devoted. Apostolic souls can be Faithful, Faithless, or False (which is how souls are separated in the Fugue Plane).

In other words, an apostolic soul is a humanoid-specific soul that the deities recognize and can use as a source of power by inviting said soul into their domain. Mind flayers do not have apostolic souls. Emphasis on apostolic here, but we'll back to mind flayers in a minute. For now, let's look at the Faithless and False souls.

Souls that are unclaimed by the servants of the gods are judged by Kelemvor, who decides the fate of each one. Some are charged with serving as guides for other lost souls, while others are transformed into squirming larvae and cast into the dust. The truly false and faithless are mortared into the Wall of the Faithless, the great barrier that bounds the City of the Dead, where their souls slowly dissolve and begin to become part of the stuff of the Wall itself.

Depressing.

The distinction between a Faithless and a False soul is a little hazy, but according to the Forgotten Realms wiki, a Faithless soul is someone who never aligned themselves to the worship of a specific deity or who just didn't believe in the existence of the gods at all (think of Astarion, who outright rejects all gods). A False soul, in contrast, is someone who did believe but failed to serve their god or outright betrayed them (a fate that Gale feels he is faced with for being on Mystra's bad side). Allegedly all the Faithless end up becoming part of the Wall, whereas the False could get mitigated sentences, such as becoming guides for other souls.

Of course, there's nothing stopping deities from combing through Faithless or False souls to collect them into their domains. But it could take a while. Clearly, the more souls a god collects into their domains, the more powerful they become, but the gods are also not exactly fighting over the souls of Faithless or False people, because people can end up waiting hundreds of years before Kelemvor is finally like "guess you're part of the wall now." Your only option to get out of that is to sell your soul to a devil, which isn't a much better fate.

From The Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide, page 25, regarding servants of Asmodeus:

To those not so dedicated, priests of Asmodeus offer the prospect of a reprieve in the afterlife. All souls wait on the Fugue Plane for a deity's pleasure, which determines where a soul will spend the rest of eternity. Those who lived their lives most in keeping with a deity's outlook are taken first. Others, who have transgressed in the eyes of their favored god or have not followed any particular ethos, might wait centuries before Kelemvor judges where they go. People who fear such a fate can pray to Asmodeus, his priests say, and in return a devil will grant a waiting soul some comfort.

This makes me infer two things: first, that the gods are kind of picky about which souls they want to join their domain (regardless of what actually happens to that soul in a deity's domain, which is a topic for a different post entirely, because the results may vary) and therefore the gods aren't just going to go with any soul that ends up in the Fugue Plane. Second, that the gods aren't exactly in a hurry to choose among wandering souls, likely because the Material Plane just keeps producing and destroying mortals, resulting in a constant flow of souls.

We see a glimpse of a god's perspective on the influx of souls when Gale confronts Mystra in the Stormshore Tabernacle (in this case, when you play him as an Origin):

Gale: You're one to talk. How many innocents were you prepared to sacrifice if I detonated the orb? Mystra: Such eddies are unexpectional. Souls arrive and depart your plane with every tide, in circumstances just and unjust. The Weave cannot be lost because we are unwilling to cause a ripple. And that is what is at stake.

She then goes on to say "With each day that passes, the elder brain threatens to become a new kind of god, its worshippers a scourge of soulless illithids." This is what's at stake. The loss of souls on the Material Plane.

The Absolute plot threatens that cycle of birth and death, of souls arriving and departing. But how, exactly, is the mind flayer plot a threat?

Well, for one, if everyone with a tadpole turns into an illithid (which doesn't have an apostolic soul, Withers is adamant about this), and then all the illithids kill all the non-illithids...who is making new babies with apostolic souls? And if there are no new fresh souls, eventually the deities will just also die out, since no one will be left to believe in them and thus their powers will diminish and eventually fade. It might take a few hundred years, but it still spells death for everyone involved.

The irony here is that it means the Dead Three gambled and lost even if their plan to ascend a Netherbrain ends with a success, such as when Tav or Durge decides to dominate the world by controlling the Netherbrain. Either the brain is destroyed and they lose, or the Netherbrain successfully completes its Grand Design and they really lose, because the only winner here after a thousand years would be the Netherbrain. Thus we have Withers taunting them in the post-epilogue scene by asking if they really thought their ploy would succeed.

Okay...so we know that mind flayers killing everyone on the planet is a bad idea because it means that apostolic souls stop arriving in the Fugue Plane. But what about mind flayers? If they don't have apostolic souls, do they have ANY soul worth eternal currency?

Remember, the only way to create more mind flayers is to tadpole a humanoid creature. Without humanoids, mind flayers can't reproduce. But when humanoids turn into mind flayers, they allegedly lose their souls. Right?

Withers says souls "vanish" when the body turns into a mind flayer. But this is vague, and thus allows for a few different theories. Perhaps souls move on to the Fugue Plane while the person-turned-mind-flayer continues existing on the Material Plane. Perhaps the soul just becomes obscured and unrecognizable by the gods. Or perhaps the soul really does go poof and is replaced by something else entirely.

So which is it? Well...first of all, let's set the record straight on mind flayer souls.

Do mind flayers have souls?

The short answer is...yes. They just don't have apostolic souls.

According to Volo's Guide to Monsters (page 80 for those looking through their copies at home):

Illithids acknowledge the existence of divine entities, but it is unusual for any but a deviant mind flayer to actively worship such a power. Since they are capable of planar travel, illithids don't view the afterlife and the Outer Planes in the mythic way that most other races do. Illithids don't believe they possess souls whose eternal fate is governed by the gods. Instead, when a mind flayer's brain is returned to the elder brain to be consumed, the creature's intelligence lives on. Only if an illithid's brain isn't retrieved after death would its consciousness be cast into oblivion.

And on page 72:

An elder brain has a perfect recollection of its race's history. Consequently, it views itself as both a refugee and a victim, forced into hiding by barbaric monsters. An elder brain also sees itself as a savior of the mind flayer race and a living memorial that preserves the memories of the mind flayers' prey. By its twisted logic, humanoids whose brains are devoured by the colony are rendered immortal, their memories preserved forever in the elder brain's labyrinthine mind. When a mind flayer grows old, becomes infirm, or is previously injured, the elder brain absorbs it—another form of immortality, as the mind flayer's mind dwells within the hive mind forever after.

So essentially, mind flayers do have a soul, but because they are a) not humanoid but are aberrations from another plane, and b) not faithful to the deities of Faerûn, their souls are not recognized by the gods. The souls might not even journey to the Fugue Plane when they die. Instead, mind flayers give up their consciousness (their memories, especially) to an elder brain to become part of its eternal collective memory.

It's worth noting that Volo's Guide to Monsters puts emphasis on memory and intelligence here, but not necessarily personality. Mind flayers and elder brains do have a kind of personality, because they experience emotions (we'll look at some conversations with the Emperor in Part 2), but their emotional range seems to be a little limited. For example, regarding elder brains:

An elder brain is arrogant, scheming, and power hungry, yet quick to flee or beg for mercy in the face of a powerful foe. It has no conception of joy, sympathy, or charity, but is well acquainted with fear, anger, and curiosity. It is an intellect utterly incapable of empathy or concern for creatures other than itself.

These limited emotions suggest there might be some element of personality here, but it's not exactly the same as a humanoid personality, which would normally be capable of a wider scope of emotional range. We'll talk a lot more about personality and how transforming into a mind flayer alters that part of one's identity (if not their actual soul) more in Part 2, but for now, just know that a mind flayer technically has all the elements usually present in a soul: an animating spirit (memories), intelligence, and personality (emotion).

When mind flayers die, their memories and intelligence are usually consumed by an elder brain, but it's unclear if the personality is too, or if the personality is destroyed. However, if they're not enthralled to an elder brain or if they die and their brain isn't retrieved to give to an elder brain...then their soul is "cast into oblivion."

Being cast into oblivion could mean anything. It could mean that their soul simply wanders around wherever it died, untethered to anything but unable to move on. Or it could mean that their soul simply ceases to exist. No one really knows what happens to it because renegade mind flayers are extremely rare. BG3 has Omeluum and the Emperor, but other than those two, official D&D lore only lists a small handful of other renegades out of millions of mind flayers over time.

So now you're probably thinking, "Well, wait, but is a mind flayer's soul the same soul that a person had before they became a mind flayer?" And the answer to that is complicated.

Let's talk about ceremorphosis

Normally a mind flayer isn't supposed to remember much of its life prior to ceremorphosis. This is partly why mind flayers eat brains, so they can literally absorb the memories of other creatures and make those memories part of the hive mind. But initially, after ceremorphosis, it seems like the the usual animating spirit (memories) of a person gets destroyed or displaced.

The tadpole grows as it devours the humanoid's brain, attaching to the victim's brain stem and becoming its new brain. Over the course of a week, the humanoid body changes form, and a new mind flayer comes into being. The emergent mind flayer often retains a few dim memories from its previous form, but these vague recollections seldom have any bearing on its new life as a brain-eating monster.

So right off the bat, a typical mind flayer loses the memories (perhaps the animating spirit) of the original host, and it's likely that it loses a lot of the initial personality as well (since it seems likely to lose some of the emotional range). Its intelligence is likely altered too, since the tadpole is literally eating brain matter. So this could lead us to believe two things.

First, that ceremorphosis utterly destroys the host's body and the host's soul likely goes to the Fugue Plane because they have basically died. Their brain has been consumed and their body transformed, so in essence they can't be themselves anymore. Instead, a new soul has taken residence inside the mind flayer body, though where this soul comes from is unclear since tadpoles probably don't have souls. The original soul, however, is free to move to the Fugue Plane and beyond.

Or, alternatively, the host's soul is transformed, shedding memories and personality to become a non-apostolic soul that aligns with an elder brain's hive mind somehow. This means that the host's apostolic soul might be destroyed because it's been changed so drastically, but there are some parts of the original soul still left (the lingering memories, for example). This means the host's original soul didn't move on, but is tethered to the mind flayer body and has been changed into something unrecognizable. When the mind flayer dies, the former apostolic-soul-turned-illithid-soul is either consumed by an elder brain or cast into oblivion.

If the first theory is correct, it seems a little odd that the BG3 companions are so concerned about losing their own souls. If it would just be the same as dying, there would still be some desire to avoid the fate of ceremorphosis, but the companions seem incredibly concerned about losing their own autonomy, as if their consciousness will be trapped inside a mind flayer body and their souls forfeit and unable to move on to the Fugue Plane. After all, Withers is in the business of plucking souls out of the Fugue Plane when we inevitably die in the game.

Specifically, Withers can take a body that has been completely turned to ash and resurrect it with True Resurrection, a spell powerful enough to completely restore a body to its former state. However, there is some assumption here that he wouldn't be able to do this with a mind flayer body, thus the push in the game for a cure.

True Resurrection You touch a creature that has been dead for no longer than 200 years and that died for any reason except old age. If the creature's soul is free and willing, the creature is restored to life with all its hit points. This spell closes all wounds, neutralizes any poison, cures all diseases, and lifts any curses affecting the creature when it died. The spell replaces damaged or missing organs and limbs. If the creature was undead, it is restored to its non-undead form. The spell can even provide a new body if the original no longer exists, in which case you must speak the creature's name. The creature then appears in an unoccupied space you choose within 10 feet of you.

In other words, if theory one is correct, and a person simply dies when they become a mind flayer, Withers should technically be able to resurrect them by pulling their soul out of the Fugue Plane and giving them a new body. You'd have a weird mind flayer clone of you running around, but you wouldn't have to worry about ceremorphosis again.

(But then again, we know the game ignores the organ-regrowing properties of True Resurrection for Karlach, too, so the game intentionally limits the capabilities of True Resurrection.)

If theory two is correct, and the lore is extremely unclear about this process if this is the case, then the companions' reactions and dialogues make a bit more sense. They all talk as though turning into a mind flayer means their soul is somehow destroyed. Mind flayers having souls is likely not common knowledge in the universe (certainly no one in the game is arguing that they have souls), so if a person's soul is transformed beyond recognition it could certainly seem like the host's soul got destroyed. Additionally, this would result in a person's consciousness being trapped inside a mind flayer body, so the loss of autonomy would be a terrifying possibility here.

Plus, we know that when a mind flayer dies, the soul they have (whether a brand new soul or an apostolic soul that has been altered) is consumed or thrown into oblivion. So if theory two is correct, there will be no eternal consciousness for you, allegedly (though there's some debate as to how much eternal consciousness you have in the Fugue Plane or the Outer Planes too...)

We don't know which of these theories is correct, and the game sort of slides between these two theories (as we'll see in Part 2). But, and I cannot stress this enough, this lore only applies to normal mind flayers.

BG3 has altered the usual mind flayer tadpoles with Netherese magic such that things get a little wonky. And beyond that, the ultimate tadpole that changes you (or Karlach, or Orpheus) into a mind flayer capable of wielding the Netherstones is a Supreme Tadpole that has been further altered by the Emperor:

The Emperor: I took this one from the nautiloid. I have been nurturing it ever since - priming it for your use. It is not dissimilar to the experience you already had with the previous one. Only this one is much more potent. All you have to do is open your mind to it. Its latent potential will do the rest.

We don't know how the Emperor has been priming this tadpole, but if it came from the nautiloid, then it is imbued with the same Netherese magic as all the other tadpoles. It's not the same as the Astral-touched tadpole (from Act 2), which has been in the Astral Prism for millennia, but it is somehow more powerful, or at least more effective in transforming you into a new kind of mind flayer, one that can think independently of the elder brain.

So now you (or Orpheus, or Karlach) are a new special kind of mind flayer. Does that change anything?

Yes. In fact, it seems to change quite a lot. But this post is already super long, so you'll have to check out Part 2 to see what I mean.

~*~*~

You made it to the end! Gold stars!!!

✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨

I'll link part 2 soon~

Tagging those who wanted an update! @galesdevoteewife @stuffforthestash

[p0pcorn-hearts]

Aphmau headcanons yay!!

(Except its just four main characters and a handful of miscellaneous headcanons because writing more than that is too much effort and also painful)

Aphmau

She has ADHD that's usually inattentive but sometimes is hyperactive

Both a cat and a dog person

Had a bit of an anger problem in high school but is much better at anger management as an adult

Because of her half-werewolf blood her teeth are slightly more pointy

Listens to dubstep and 2000-2010s pop music

Has chronic insomnia but can and will sleep the entire day away

Rejection sensitive dysphoria. Would do anything to make sure you don't hate her

Would chug a bottle of imitation vanilla extract to prove she's sorry

Super competitive though

Would chug a bottle of imitation vanilla extract to prove she's right/better

"If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?" "Yes"

Aaron

It gets really cold where he lived so he used to draw stick figures in the frost on his bedroom window

Has a few tattoos, nothing serious, just a moon on his back and a full sleeve inspired by his favorite band (okay so a bit serious)

Listens to exclusively rock but is fine with Aphmau’s pop music. He doesn't get it, but he loves her too much

He got the tattoos like right when he was free from his dad and now he kinda regrets them, but he has to admit, the full sleeve is fuckin awesome

Writes songs for his guitar, although he doesn't show anyone because they range from love songs about Aphmau to full blown vent songs about his PTSD from his dad

Speaking of his PTSD, he gets frequent nightmares and even when he doesn't or when he can't remember his nightmare, he'll still jolt awake in a cold sweat

Used to have a pet rock that he'd throw at kids who bothered him

His dad made sure to take care of that one

Still draws stick figures on frosted glasses, but while as a kid he'd draw his family, he now draws his friends and Aph

Actually decently friends with Garroth and Travis. They shit talk people together

There was once one time Aaron hung out with Laurence, Garroth, Dante, and Travis, and they ordered pizza but they couldn't pay so they played rock paper scissors to see who would negotiate and Dante lost, so he attempted to sway the pizza guy into lowering the price while fucking 6'5 Aaron stood ominously over Dante, piercing into the guy's soul

It actually worked

It never worked again though

Hanami (Kawaii~Chan for the uninitiated)

Autism

Is the token straight friend although she acts super gay, like she doesn't like girls but she *will* kiss the homies goodnight

Bakes even though meif'wa literally cannot have sugar

She has perfected her own recipes for sugar-free, sugar, and sweetened cupcakes

When she's angry her whole body scrunches up. Like she tenses, her ears lay flat on her head, her arms are pressed tightly to her sides, and her face scrunches up

Has almost sent Lucinda to the hospital because they'd get in play fights and meifwa claws are sharp

Best girl scout in the business. Literally created her own cookie because of her love of experimenting with baked good

Would eat plain rice. Just a ball of plain white rice

When startled, she jumps like three feet horizontally

Always lands on her feet. Except for when she doesn't

Knows how to sew and often modifies her clothing to add more ruffles and bows. When Katelyn wanted to put on a play her and Cadenza worked on the costumes together

Super competitive also

Would chug a bottle of imitation vanilla extract-

Highly empathetic. It's to the point that people being upset around her can get very overwhelming very fast

Ran a meif'wa colony in high school. She was often underestimated by the other colonies but she ended up being front and center a lot of conflicts and her colony remained standing after The Jury

She only has like three people in it though. Aimi (OC because there aren't enough meifwa), Xin (OC because there aren't enough meifwa), and June

Zane

Autism

Also has asthma, ASPD, depression and PTSD

Like pick a struggle 🙄

Was in a gang in high school but luckily has a rich daddy who can afford a lawyer to get Zane out of the legal trouble

Greatly regrets it now as like his only options for work are minimum wage and Aphmau and Aaron’s business

Lacks a lot of empathy but still good at comfort. He just somehow knows the right things to say even if he doesn't really get what they're upset about

Not actually emo, he's goth. He was emo back in high school because Gene is emo but only knew My Chemical Romance. He realized that he actually much preferred goth music and had a trad goth phase in college before settling on just more casual outfits during a massive depressive episode

How much Zane dresses up is a legitimate indicator of his mental health

Is he just wearing sweatpants and hoodies? Depressive episode

Is he wearing jeans and jewelry? He's fine

Also genderfluid (he/him or she/her, depends what gender hes presenting as)

Didn't really explore that side of himself until he was friends with Aphmau

Trauma :(

Likes vocaloid (Hanami's fault)

Miscellaneous that might get their own posts

Dottie, Daniel, and Blaze were in an open relationship until, yknow, Blaze kinda died

After that, Dottie and Daniel continued dating but decided to close their relationship until they properly got over Blaze dying right in front of them

The Shadow Knights are also dating, but they specifically date after high school after they went through their character arcs and became better people

Sasha dated Michi once

You can imagine how bad it was

Canontypical first Sapphic relationship

Melissa likes Twilight but hides it

Travis is essentially one of the girls. He mightve flirted with every one of them but Aph swears on him being cool. They invited him over for a sleepover once and they had so much Travis is just automatically invited to the sleepovers and girl nights out. He is very happy

Imagine getting invited to every outing with the girls but you cannot get a single chick. Even Zane, who is an honorary girl like Travis some days and an actual girl other days, has a girlfriend

It's okay, he has Dante

Dante is like "bro I just cannot pick up chicks" and Travis is like "me neither :(" they turn to each other. "I would date you if you were a girl" Dante said. "Me too" Travis said. There's a pause. They begin making out

Dante did have Nicole but they broke up on good terms because Nicole pursued a master's in engineering and it required too much attention. They're still besties though and hang out whenever Nicole is in town

Nicole is steampunk goals

Okay that's it. You may exit the theater carefully on your right

[15000bugs]

qpr is such a silly term but got damn. and like “alterous” is so accurate and good and just like me fr….! perhaps i am comfortably aroace actually. perhaps that is okay actually…

[thesoftestmess]

maybe if vash and nai combined the singular trauma-riddled braincell they each have left and met somewhere in the middle between "religious cult working towards the genocide of humanity" and "absolute submission to our oppressors and the colonisers of our people's land" we would've gotten somewhere

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

When British writers come up with an American character’s dialogue and give them the most painfully British things to say with their American accent and inflection and it makes the actor come off as stiff. :P

[piplupod]

i feel like i'm an incredibly annoying person to have over at a house because if there is a pet in the house i will be paying way too much attention to them every time they are in the same room as me. i am unable to be normal about animals existing in the same space as me.

if you have a pet and i know about it, there will be at least 20% of my brain dedicated to thinking about how theres an animal on the property the entire time I am there.

if a cat walks in, i WILL look over at it for a few seconds and not pay any attention to a single thing anyone is saying. if a dog walks in, i WILL be trying to figure out if i can make friends with it in a way that doesn't make everyone roll their eyes at me.

[kurozu501]

Finished bloodborne tonight, like actually really finished it. Killed the dlc boss one more time, tied up all the loose ends i cared about, walked slowly out to the garden, and got the last ending to the game. Even if we never get a bloodborne 2, I really hope fromsoft makes another game like this, with no weight system and a battle system built around parrying. i had so much fun with it. Because parrying is your only defensive option, and all the enemies in the game are designed to be parried, i felt so much more free to try it out. Even in elden ring i find myself shying away from parrying bc i don’t know which attacks can be parried and which are just arbitrarily unblockable. Never had that problem in bloodborne, and got really, really good at timing my parries. What a blast.

Feels kind of bittersweet to say goodbye to such a great game. The Doll’s parting words of “may you find your worth in the waking world” took on a perfect meta feeling in the end. I can tell this game is going on the list of “games i wish i could forget so i can re-experience it for the first time.” Thanks to everyone who worked on this game and made it so incredible. 

[luminiamore]

basketball player ony x black spiritual reader

warnings: he sucks the soul out yo p**sy!

masterlist

The beginning of your second semester was in just a few days and to say you were excited was an understatement. Right before the first semester ended, you had undergone a ‘second’ spiritual awakening, as you like to call it. You decided you were tired of meaningless sex, worn out from talking to random guys, knowing they were leading nowhere; it never felt aligned with your spirit. The man you were having a fling with was supposed to be just that, a fling. But, of course, you ended up catching feelings.

It was ironic since you were the one who labeled it so as not to catch feelings, but of course, the universe reminded you that your soul wasn’t like that. Sex was an extremely big deal for you, so while he was attractive and could put it down better than the average man, his lack of appreciation was evident. His disrespect left you no choice but to sever ties completely; you blocked him on all socials, removing him from your life completely.

That same week, you had taken the time to really connect with the spiritual side of yourself again. You went back to doing shadow work to confront and shed your limiting beliefs while unpacking your trauma. Starting meditation again became a part of your daily routine, and you even started watching podcasts giving advice on how to liberate yourself from your past.

You started to take care of your physical health, too, signing up for a gym membership and eating full meals with a lot of protein to get your ass right. You were feeling like yourself again, and the feeling of liberation it brought was profound.

You had reevaluated your opinion and feelings toward money, too, deciding that every cent spent would be towards elevating your life one way or another. The universe, naturally rewarded your high vibration, drawing abundance to you in unprecedented ways. Your college sent you a generous check of $10,000, which you ensured was put to good use.

And fast forward just two months into your second semester, it was.

Your life had ascended to an entirely new level: your lashes were consistently sitting pretty, you were opting for waxing every 3-4 weeks, and your wardrobe underwent a complete overhaul- all in shades of pink, of course.

While you always prioritized your hygiene with the money your parents provided you with, now it was tenfold. You invested in new skincare and body care, and your hair flaunted a freshly laid style every 2-3 weeks. Your appearance radiated beauty, mirroring the inner confidence you felt. Thanks to your mindset, showed up as your best self every day.

In your macroeconomics class, you pondered all this, sitting adorable in a light pink tracksuit. The zipper of your sweater was slightly lowered, revealing your perky breasts, while a subtle smile graced your full brown glossed lips. You snapped out of your daze when you heard a whisper of your name from behind you.

“Y/n,” his deep, husky voice caused an immediate reaction within you. Your body moved on its own accord to face him, Onyankopon. Your attraction toward him grew slowly but gradually; it crept up on you unexpectedly. You remember when you first looked at him, immediately struck by his towering stance and commanding presence.

Despite your own tall stature, standing at an impressive 5’8, you were accustomed to men around your height or just slightly taller. It came as a surprise when you found yourself having to crane your neck to meet his gaze. What made your panties drop was his need to bend down slightly to catch your soft-spoken words. This was new.

The universe has to be testing you. What other reason could there possibly be? The way he looked at you, so deep into your soul when he asked you a question about the group project your professor assigned. His gentle manner of speaking made it feel as though it was just the two of you in the entire classroom. It had to be a test.

You’re tuned back into the classroom atmosphere when a large tatted hand waves slowly in your face. Blinking rapidly, you immediately chide yourself inwardly for having been caught staring straight at him without saying anything.

“Oh, sorry,” you murmur, avoiding his intense gaze. You silently plead with the universe, questioning why he had to look at you like that.

Ony chuckles at your embarrassment, he found you adorable. “You good, mama. But for our project, we’d set up a biomass service with an active but limited government, right?” his head tilts curiously as he addresses you, getting lost in your perfect face.

“Uh- yea. We’d have market prices to help fund it, too,” you whispered back to him, missing the way his eyes were studying your face. To him, you are stunning beyond measure. When he first introduced himself, he felt that beautiful was too inadequate of a word to describe you. He couldn’t stop himself from getting lost in your captivating energy.

Too entranced, he simply nodded at your answer, licking his lips while looking at yours. Your professor ended the class early today, assigning an assignment based on a textbook specifically meant for that class—a textbook you hadn’t bothered to spend your money on.

After packing your belongings, you made your way to the front of the class to sign your name in for attendance; while doing so, you heard the sugary voice of your professor,

“You know the project is due in around two weeks, so I wanted to check in on you and see how your progress with your group is so far,”

The minute she said this, an almost forgotten idea came into your head as you quickly replied, “Oh, right! I wanted to ask you to look over what we have so far, to make sure we’re on the right path.”

She immediately nodded affirmatively, “Of course, show me.”

You swiftly pulled out your laptop with a smile, expecting it to open instantly since you had just closed it. To your dismay, you were wrong— so wrong. Glancing around the almost empty classroom, you turned your attention to your computer to figure out exactly why it was taking so long to open, only to find the word ‘updating’ displayed. This prompted frown to crease on your face. I just closed it. Why is it updating now? you thought.

You sensed his presence before laying eyes on him, feeling his towering and imposing figure approach from directly behind you. Instinctively you pressed your full hips against the desk you were leaning on to not accidentally graze him. He was so big though; you knew if you turned around you wouldn’t find much space between the two of you. he stood right next to you.

You glanced around the room once more, only to find it empty. Inwardly rolled your eyes, you couldn’t help but attribute this to the universe when you peeked back at your laptop and found the PowerPoint for your project finally displayed on your screen.

Interrupting the conversation Ony and your professor were having about his last basketball game of the season, you turned your computer to show your professor all the slides you had finished. What you didn’t anticipate was Ony also looking at it.

You could sense his gaze on you, observing your every move as you flipped through the slides, listening to the praise your professor bestowed upon you after each one. When you finally finished and stood up straight, you turned to look up at him, only to find him already staring at you, his expression one of awe. Time seemed to freeze for a good minute as you locked eyes with him. The tension between you was palpable, so thick that for a moment, you wondered if your professor could sense it too, as she continued to praise the work you had done, casting a glance at both of you with a small smile on her face.

You quickly looked away and closed your computer once more, placing it in your knitted tote bag that was decorated in pink bows. Fuck.

You were planning on leaving, not wanting to overstay when you noticed he asked a question to clarify your research paper due a month from now. You couldn’t excuse yourself just yet because although the question was for him specifically, she addressed both of you when she answered.

You think that if you stayed this close to him for another minute, your slick would drip down on the floor from how wet you were getting, especially from the casual glances he kept sending your way while your professor rambled on.

When she finished, you didn’t hesitate to leave, wishing her a good weekend without acknowledging Ony, too afraid you might embarrass yourself. Once again, he simply glanced at you, admiring how your ass looked so plump and fat in the pretty tracksuit you wore. Your colorful waist beads and dermal piercings only adding onto your irresistible allure.

He found himself needing to adjust his sweats, feeling his bulge growing larger as his thoughts drifted to how he simply wanted to hold you, love you—he yearned to consume you completely. You were driving him insane.

You knew of your crush on Ony, but you had ignored it knowing how intense your feelings could become when you liked someone. You just started your spiritual journey again; you didn’t have the time to like someone. You were determined not to entertain it, but with each encounter during your class and even occasionally seeing him outside of class, the urge to get closer to him only intensified.

You went about the rest of classes for the day seamlessly, trying to forget about the 6’7 man that began consuming your mind on a daily basis. Fortunately, you hadn’t seen him for the rest of the day, which you were grateful for, you didn’t know if your panties could handle anymore.

The moment you opened the door to your studio apartment, your beautiful black cat greeted you instantly.

“Hi, my baby,” you cooed as you bent down slightly to pet her. She greatly accepted the attention, instantly trilling at you and rolling over on her back to showcase her stomach.

Later that night you promptly took a cold shower, cleansing your body of all the energies that had attached themselves to you from spending all day around people. Once done, you wrapped your pink towel around your body and sat on the edge of your bed to light your Venus Rose incense. This was your peace.

You reached over to your bedside table, taking your strawberry hemp lotion and treating your body to a much need massage. Then, you grabbed your shea butter baby oil and repeated the same process. Opting to stay naked for the night, you settled back on your silk pillows and basked in the moment.

Your moment was interrupted by a sudden ding on your phone. You smiled when you realized who it was. it was from one of your closest friends, your only friend after you had removed all the toxic people from your life, checking up on you.

Her name was Josefina, and that girl was your rock. one of the few people in your life that encouraged your growth and wasn’t afraid to call you out on your shit when you weren’t on top of game. And of course, you did the same for her. You hadn’t told her about this crush yet, and honestly you were nervous to do so.

“So, i have to tell you something,” you start after you both had been rambling on the phone for about 20 minutes. She gives you a look that can only be described as, ‘what now’. You have a reputation for relying on your intuition and making decisions based on your feelings, but she didn’t judge. Instead, she simply tilted her head and nodded, indicating that she was listening attentively.

“I have a crush on this guy in my group for the big project I told you about. his name is Ony and he is so tall and big girl, oh my god,” you let out a slight squeal as you drift off into a daydream about him.

She giggles at your reaction and lets out a small sigh of relief, which you notice.

“Bitch, i thought you went back to the dread-head you were fucking”, you shoot her a disgusted glance at the mere suggestion, causing her to laugh even harder before she goes on, “I know you don’t like confrontation, so let’s start small, yeah? You have an assignment due next week, right? Just ask him for the textbook since you don’t have it.”

Your eyes widen, and you start making small kissing noises through the screen as if she were there to receive them. “I love you so bad, i’m gonna give you a big kiss when i see you,” she returns the sentiment with a flushed face before you move on to another topic. You both stay on the phone for another hour, discussing your beliefs and interests. This was how it always was with her; you never felt the need to prove yourself, it was effortless to just be yourself.

The weekend arrived swiftly, almost unexpectedly so. With the looming threat of a failing grade and the risk of plummeting from a 3.7 GPA to a mere 2, the only option left was to muster the courage and text your crush, requesting the textbook you desperately needed.

You pull his number from the group chat that included everyone in your group and immediately got to work.

Your heart was beating abnormally fast, you’re going to his dorm. The same thought repeated in your mind at least 30 times before you actually got up and started getting ready. You search through your closet and select a pink tube top that fits snugly around your chest, pairing it with a long, flowing black skirt that grazes the floor. Naturally, you accessorize your outfit with a variety of waist beads and a jade Buddha necklace.

You swiftly fix the baby hairs on your black curly lace and send Ony your location, with a small text of ‘I'm ready,’ accompanying. When he notified you that the Uber had arrived, you hurriedly slipped on your beach sandals and grabbed your laptop and keys. The ride felt long, your nerves ramping up with each passing moment. Finally arriving on campus, you made your way to his dorm room and knocked. As the door opened, your breath caught in your throat at the sight of him, shirtless. Gray sweats hanging dangerously low on his hips, his fat bulge just staring at you.

Why? Why is it so big?

It felt as if time stood still in that moment, and you could only hope for the universe’s mercy.

“Come in, mama” he urges you in with a hand on your lower waist, lightly grazing your dermal piercings. Ony felt weak in the knees when you walked through his door. You were tempting him. With your pretty belly ring of the Ankh symbol twinkling at him. His mind went straight to the rapid movements they would make once he had your smooth legs on his shoulders, feeding you deep thrusts. You were tempting him, you had to be.

“You don’t have a roommate?” You look around the large tidy dorm, but you realized you only saw one set of keys by the door. He takes your laptop and keys and places it on the small wooden desk in front of his couch, right next to the textbook you needed.

He hums, “Nah, I need my privacy,” He grabs your hand and sits you down right next to him. You felt shivers run down your spine from the mere heat coming off of his palm. “You want some water before we start, mama?”

You flush at the pet name he always uses and look down at your classic french nails. “No, thank you Ony.”

Ony didn’t like when you avoided his stare, he wanted to see your beautiful brown eyes. He wanted to see your soul.

“Can you look at me?” He whispers and runs a crooked finger under your chin and tilts it towards him. Your lips were so plump and he held back a groan when you released a small gasp at his action. Your eyes flicker between your nails and his eyes until they finally relax into his gaze.

You could get lost in the way he looks at you, so sinful and passionate. The passion you’ve been longing for. Ony sensed this as he gives a sly smile, “There you go, good girl.”

Fuck. You’re sure the thong you put on 30 minutes ago were already drenched in your mess. If you had the bet, they probably stained your skirt too. That’s the effect he had on you. Ony was in the same boat you were, he knew what he was doing when he put on those gray sweats before he opened the door. Once you glanced down for a split second at his lap and quickly looked up, avoiding his stare yet again, he knew his plan had worked. You can’t get anything past him.

“You want it baby? I’ll give it to you. All you need to do is ask.” His hand began gripping your throat slowly, but firm. You gasped as he pulled you towards him. You were a breath away from his lips, and honestly you couldn’t take the tension anymore.

“O-Ony- We have to work on-” He cuts off your stumbled words before you could finish.

“But you want it, right?” He noticed the way you rubbed your thighs together when he tightened his grip on your throat. He leans to give a small peck to your adam’s apple causing you to grip his shoulders, his big shoulders. “Tell me you want it Y/n.”

“Please- ah!” Ony sucked on a particular sweet spot, hard. He tried to wait until you were at least half way done with the assignment, but how dare you? How dare you come into his dorm looking the way you did? And you expected him not to rip everything off of you and ravage your entire being? Silly you.

That’s how you found yourself in your current position On your back with your lace thong hanging off the tip of his TV and your thighs suffocating his head as he completely sucked the soul out of your clit. Ony was a desperate man, and after one taste of the heavenly slick between your legs, he couldn’t function properly anymore without being in it.

“Oh f-fuck Ony-” He hummed encouragingly and licked faster, eager to taste your cum, eager to see your twisted face when you cum for him.

“You got it, mama. Fuck you taste so good.” You couldn’t handle the pressure you felt, his tongue was eating you so fast. You let out a sinful moan when his tongue started moving in and out of your little quivering hole. Your back arched up off the couch as you grind your lower hips on his wet face. You were dripping everywhere.

You didn’t know what to grab, your hands scrambling around your pretty tits to the couch then back to your tits again. You couldn’t think- you had no thoughts in your brain but Ony and more.

Something was coming, you felt the boiling heat in your lower stomach. And Ony knew what was coming when your angelic mewls started getting shaky and you began pushing your hips away from the onslaught on your poor drenched pussy. He wasn’t having any of that, he tightens his grip on your hips right below your waist beads.

“S-shit I’m- Oh fuck. Ony I-” He somehow went faster, his tongue rolling all over your engorged bud. He ignored your attempts to tap out, he just wanted to please you. Can’t you see that? Why were you running away from him?

“Don’t run Y/n.” The mere octave in his voice caused a broken whimper to escape your messy glossed lips. You were an absolute mess, just from his skillful tongue alone. Your wig slightly lifting, your breathing erratic and irregular, drool now falling, and your arousal overflowing onto both his face and couch. Ony liked you like this. No, he loved you like this.

Your mouth opened into a silent scream, you came unexpectedly rapid. There was no warning when you did, you saw white spots in your vision and wailed out “Ony!”You just gave Ony everything you had, cream and squirt, and Ony, like the greedy man he was, took it all. Unashamedly so.

You thought he would stop after your hips stuttered and bucked for the fifth time in a row, but it’s a good thing you don’t get paid for thinking.

Ony grunted out in between what he decided was his meal, sending heavy shockwaves against your dripping core, “Don’t wanna-” Slurp. “Can’t fuck you without-” Slurp. “Taking you out first.” Squelch. “So let me eat you, okay, mama?” Squish. “You can take it, I know you can.”

You felt your clit twitch in his warm mouth. Ony wanted more from you, so, he took his long middle finger and easily slipped it inside your fluttering hole. Your eyes rolled into the back of your skull and you choked out another loud cry.

He started slow, barely reaching deep in you but he got mesmerized at the way your pussy juice was leaking onto his palm, so he gradually went faster. He wanted more. He latched onto your clit again and coaxes another tatted finger inside of you, splitting apart your warm walls. He became obsessed with the strangled noises you sung out.

“Oh-Oh god. Ah!” You squeal when he curls his fingers against your g-spot and abuses the spongy spot repeatedly. You couldn’t take it. You think you were hyperventilating, but he somehow managed to keep you calm when he intertwined his fingers with yours gently. His dynamic was making your mind scramble. The way he sucked the life out of you while gently caressing your soft hands couldn’t be normal.

You were becoming breathless when you felt the same fire from before come back, tenfold. You were going to lose it.

Ony encouraged you with a muffled voice, “Yeah baby, just like that. Come for me, I’m right here.” He didn’t want to let up for a second. Your body listens against your minds will. You knew you were safe, drenching his face in your essence felt safe. You scream out one last breathy moan before Ony pulls away from your sticky fat pussy lips.

If he didn’t stop now, the girthy cock he had in his pants would’ve have completely battered your pussy in the next second. And like he told you, he wanted to court you first. You gasp and fall down heavily on your back, your breathing loud as you try and catch your shaky breaths.

“You good?” He asks as he looks up at your blissed out face from his kneeled position. This nigga is not serious. Asking if you’re good after he just obliterated your pussy before he even got to fuck you. You didn’t respond, only gave him an exasperated look, which he chuckled at.

“I didn’t want to see you like this before I properly asked you out. But, you just looked so pretty.” He begins as he gets up and walks a few feet away from you to get you some water and a wet wipes. If Ony hadn’t left you temporarily immobilized you would’ve covered your face in embarrassment.

“You make me weak Y/n, and I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t take this chance. Let me take you on a date..please?” He sounded so vulnerable, his voice had a hint of pleading attached to it. You wanted this man so bad, it was impossible for you to say no. He cleaned you up as he awaited your answer with high breaths of anxiety.

You whisper in a hoarse voice, “Yes- yes Ony.” You pull him down towards you and wrap your thighs around his waist. You smiled as your mind went back to the Tarot reading you did last week that promised love in the near future. Maybe, just maybe, this was it. Ony could do nothing but fall harder.

[chococolte]

☼ — pietas maris

♱ : my take on sagau childe

including ☆! — him as a worshiper, and his reaction to being your lover ⛧

word count. 5.6k

୨୧ — ꒰ cw. yandere, unhealthy relationships, possessive & obsessive thoughts/behaviors, religious + cult themes, cult au, g/n reader. i do not condone yanderes irl. ୨୧ — ꒰ a/n. now time for me to disappear back into the aether for another 6 months

The abyss is cold.

It is unfeeling, lacking warmth and passion. It is relentless, cruel, and unkind. It corrupts, ruins, and does so freely, without remorse or thought. It leaves you clinging to the hot blood in your veins, curled up and hidden in the dark reaches of its void.

Childe had always been versatile; quick to adapt, even at such a young age. He grew used to the emptiness, the swelling numbness, and the eventual gnawing loneliness left in his abdomen. They became a part of him as his lungs, as integral as air; to be without felt odd, foreign.

The glimmer of your existence kept Childe company. He did not know who you were, or how lucky he was— only that you brought him comfort, like an old lullaby, or a blanket worn from overuse. He reached for you when the darkness grew too much, too heavy a burden on his small shoulders.

He came to you with little offerings; small trinkets, tomes of unreadable text. Useless to him, but perhaps you would take pity on him in exchange, and let him take comfort in your presence for another day. Childe came to you with rubble shaped in hearts, the gentle breath of his voice as he spoke of his anxieties. He did not think of them as offerings then, merely gifts— pleadings for you to stay a little longer.

His hands, then unruined and soft, made you a makeshift altar crafted out of whatever he could find. He made sure to build it where he felt your whispers were strongest, where your light entirely overwhelmed the darkness overhead. Childe didn't think of it as an altar then, just a place to settle his findings, where he could pretend his sad, little effigy made of you was actually you.

The idol didn't look much like a person at all, and at the time, he didn't think of his behavior as odd. He desperately clung to you for survival, and with no other warm body besides his own, you were the only one he could talk too.

At times, he thought he was going insane. There was a pleasant buzzing in his ears whenever he neared your doll, as if it were calling him. Despite the fact that he had made it, proven by the tiny scars on his palms, he still felt as if it was yours.

In the darkness, Childe whispered to you. He said everything his mind could think, childishly exaggerated tales in hopes of impressing you. A foolish endeavor, considering you were a God— but he still hoped that maybe you'd think of him kindly, and let him bask in your protective glow for just one more moment.

He couldn't hear your words, but he could feel them. The twinkle of your laughter was like a soft whistle in his ears. When you were pleased, the air would lightly ruffle his hair. Despite how agonizing his loneliness was, at least he had you by his side.

Childe's innocence, as all things do, eventually withered away in that malevolent black.

He thought of you as his teacher; a guiding hand that trained him, molded him to fit against your palm. When he struggled against the abyssal beasts, he could feel you— a soft brush against his hand, a firm hold on his back, keeping him focused. You taught him when to still his blade and when to strike.

In the arches of his sword and polearm, in the taut and tense pull of his bow, in the whirlwind of his catalyst— you were there, shining from beyond the thin veil separating you.

When Childe was ripped out of the abyss, so was his connection to you. Like a thread snapping, he could no longer feel you; not in the darkness overhead, not in the grip of his blade, of the depths of his soul. You were gone, and he was once again nothing but a boy, lost and alone. Friends and family surround him, thankful for his return, but his mind is still reeling, still stuck in the abyss and the sudden emptiness left in your wake.

Despite himself, Childe had hoped you would have stayed, even once he was out. He thought he was done with being naïve, but that clearly wasn't the case.

He can’t feel you anymore. Where did you go? Why did you leave? What did he do wrong? Questions swirl in his head like whirlpools of thought. Childe feels like he's drowning, suffocating in the mess of his mind. His breaths come out short, quick and sharp. His throat squeezes, constricting his airways, as he realizes what's unfolded.

You left him.

He should've known better. On that first day, all you had done was take pity on him by letting him linger in your light. It was his fault for ever believing that he would never have to be alone again. That even if he had no one else, at least he had you.

This was the result of his own failure. If only he had proven himself worthy.

When his family found him, they found him gripping a small, rudimentary doll. Even when they reached their home, Childe was still clutching the thing as if possessed. When they tried tugging it out of his hands, saying it would help him eat better, he ripped it from their grasp, holding it to his chest.

Childe couldn't accept that you had left him so easily. At night, back in his warm bed, Childe tries to whisper to you again. The familiar warmth sinks into his pores, but it's nothing like yours. He nuzzles closer to the doll, ignoring how it tears into his skin.

"I'm here," he whispers.

Maybe you got confused. He knows you're a God, but even the Seven are not omniscient. When he was torn from the abyss, it was possible you hadn't meant to so cruelly cut the connection between you. Maybe you couldn't find him, and so he just has to tell you where he is.

So he whispers to you in the dark, just as he has so many times before.

Only this time, he's met with silence.

In the years that pass, you linger at the forefront of his mind, haunting him like a wraith. Childe can't bring himself to be rid of you, despite how it hurts every time he thinks about you for a little too long. He's still stuck, perpetually waiting for your return, despite how he knows you've long given him up.

Childe becomes Tartaglia, the 11th Harbinger under the Tsaritsa. He takes a new name, a new mask— he executes her orders dutifully, and he does his role perfectly. He acts as if she's you, despite how desperately he wants to believe otherwise. If he closes his eyes for long enough, he can pretend that the cold that seeps into his bones in her presence is yours.

But no matter how many names and identities he takes, he'll always just be your Ajax; the boy who still misses you, despite how short your time together was. And that fact is what burns him the most.

Maybe he should be angry. He knows he has every right to be. Angry that you left him, that you discarded him as if he was nothing. Maybe he should hate you— hate you for leaving him alone, as if you weren't the only thing keeping him sane. Hate you for leaving as if his love didn't matter to you.

He comforts himself by thinking of the time dilation he experienced in the abyss. You cared for him so much that you spun three days into three months. He likes to believe he meant something to you; he must've, because why else would you lengthen your time spent together?

Childe knows it isn't true. He didn't matter enough for you to stay, after all.

At night, Childe finds himself listlessly thinking of you. It's a silent mourning. Quiet tears fall down his cheeks, soaking the pillow beneath his head. He chokes down every heaving sob that threatens to break from his throat; clenches his jaw when they claw too close to his lips. He slaps a hand over his mouth when he's too loud, biting his fingers until they're bloody and marred by his teeth. What would you think if you saw him this weak? Saw the boy you built up crumble, all because he can't feel even the softest traces of your presence anymore?

You would find him pathetic. All he's done is prove that you were right in abandoning him.

When the memory of you is too much to bear, he clutches the effigy in his arms, squeezing it against his chest until it's sharp edges dig into his skin. Even after all these years, he's still kept it close. He tries to feel the visage of you that was once attached to its bearings, whispering for you under the night sky, hoping it'll remind you of your time in the abyss— hoping that tonight he will feel you again, ruffling his hair with tendrils of wind.

He never does.

Childe barely sleeps, but when he does, he dreams of you. You have no body, no face— he can't even begin to imagine what you look like, and he doesn't dare too, even when he knows he has nothing to lose.

He's back in the dark, but you're still there with him, providing him light and comfort. If he knew that leaving would entail being without you, he never would have left at all. Better to be with you than to die without.

Sometimes, he dreams of you staying with him even after he escapes. Your warmth is ever-present. He gifts you riches, now. You have a voice in his dreams, and he can hear you speaking to him. You're kind, and gentle, and he wants for nothing. He has you, and there is nothing more to want.

He dreams he never lost you at all. It makes reality all the more painful.

In a way he knows is pathetic, Childe hopes you at least found him fun. He hopes you found him entertaining, despite how the thought twists his heart and guts into little knots, until he feels vaguely nauseous at the notion. At least then you would have reason to remember him. At least he could say he meant something to you.

In a hidden corner of his room, there sits an altar for you. His wealth as a Harbinger means he has no lack of resources, and so he bejewels the altar until it glimmers even without light. It's obnoxious and opulent to the point of vanity, but he figures that if you like it, he'll earn another whisper of warmth from you— in the vain hope that you hear him at all anymore.

With his hands, now calloused and worn, he carves sigils into whalebone. He doesn't know what they mean, but they were numerous in the abyss; and so he etches them into bone, hoping that whatever they mean, it reaches you.

Childe pushes himself more than he should. His back aches from all the weight he carries on his shoulders, but he trudges forward despite how it hurts. He is more fervent in conflicts, and spectacular scenes of blood and viscera follow him every time he walks onto a battlefield.

His tongue forms words of devotion for the Tsaritsa as he slays another enemy, blood staining his fingers, but in his heart, he only ever speaks of you.

When he fights, Childe can lose himself. He can focus entirely on the movement of his feet, the precision of his blade. He can ignore how badly he misses you, and how in the back of his mind, he desperately hopes that the more blood he sheds with your teachings, you'll find him satisfactory.

Adrenaline rushes through his veins, and once again he lets himself be drowned by the rush, letting himself forget all of his pain.

Childe is proud of the way that no one can recognize his style of fighting. It is exact and sharp— every strike hitting its target with ease, filled with vigor and intensity. He enjoys the gazes of jealousy, but remains silent when asked. My teacher taught me, he says. He sheds no further light on the matter, and any instance someone shows interest in learning from him, he instantly refuses. Childe wishes to keep you close to his chest, a guarded secret known only to him.

Childish, perhaps. He knows it is. But if he can't have you, then he will have the knowledge of you. He will keep it to himself, and there it will stay, safe in his tight grip. 

It drives him insane, the way sees you in everything. When night falls, covering the sky in a blanket of stars, he wonders if you're staring at him from above. When the tides of the sea brush against the shore, he finds himself thinking of you as the moon— you are what anchors him, despite the fact that he hasn't felt you in so long. In his eyes, there is nothing you could not be, and with every breath, he only ever misses you more.

It's during his mission in Liyue that he feels you again. Childe is unable to breathe when he meets the Traveler, sensing you watching from their eyes. His heart thunders in his chest, tempestuous as a storm over the sea.

For a moment, he's happy. You're finally back. He wants nothing more than to run to you, to ask you why you left for so long, to ask how he can make you stay, but then he feels you— a familiar pressure bearing down on him, forcing him to say anything but what he wants to.

Childe watches the Traveler's back fade as it finally clicks for him.

You abandoned him for someone else. You left him... for this. The thought sends him reeling. You left him, just to go spend time with someone else— to give them the same company you gave him, to give them the same guidance you gave him— was he merely replaceable to you?

Was he just a test for you?

He should be angry. And he is, but the heartbreak overwhelms him. He's left choking, battling for air. The agony of having been tossed to the side, of having it be affirmed in front of his eyes. He wants to scream and cry, beg for you to return; but his throat squeezes every time he meets the Traveler, and the words die on his tongue.

You don't want him to speak. He's meant to play along.

Childe had waited for you for so long. Even after all this time, he couldn't get rid of the painful hope that you'd return. He had done his best to bottle his emotions, to keep them shut and locked inside, so that you wouldn't be disappointed in him upon your arrival. Proud that he never doubted you for a moment.

But he had. He had doubted you, cried at the lack of your comfort. Afraid of what it meant to be without you. Fearful of living, never getting to gleam your existence for a second time— and now you want him to pretend as if he never knew you.

As if he can't see the slight smugness in the Traveler's eyes.

His fight with the Traveler is personal. He bares his teeth, snarling like a rabid dog. His every strike is fast, precise with the intent to kill and maim. Childe hopes his emotions reach you, that you know of his bitterness and acrimony. That you know of how long he wished for you, how long he yearned for you to come back— how his frustration has twisted into pure rage, turned into a fine point. 

He just has to simply show you how he's better. He has to show you that he's superior in every way to your choice. That you should've chosen him over them. 

They are undeserving; watch how he rips through them like they are nothing, slicing through them like they are mist over sea. They are unworthy; see how easily he beats them into submission, how easily they crumble at his feet. The matter of the Gnosis is nothing to him, now— only whether you see how he should be the one you prefer. 

It's then that he feels it. Your rage. Your anger at having been battered and bruised. The Traveler stands back up, but something is different now. Their strikes are fluid, prowess and skill increased by an outside force. 

You. 

Do you hate him that badly? Detest him so much, to go so far as to bless another with your strength so they can prove themselves to be his better? Even in his Foul Legacy form, Childe is forced to retreat; forced to bow his head in defeat, weakened by the burden of his transformation.

The realization leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He's done the exact opposite of what he set out to do. All he's proven is that your right.

Childe feels your crushing weight bearing down on him. He spits the words out, calls them 'friend' through clenched teeth. He dances to your whims, just as he had previously. Unnatural, stiff movements and words that speak the opposite of what he means. 

And then you're gone, left along with them. He stares at their fading back. He can almost imagine you beside them, walking by their side just as you once did his. 

It hurts.

The next time he feels you, there is no sign of the Traveler. Only a tight pulling in his chest. 

He doesn't know what it means, or what it entails. But he follows, sensing you at the end, waiting for him. Childe doesn't allow himself to hope; that maybe, you have come around. That maybe you do care. That maybe, you never hated him— not truly. That you missed him just as he missed you. 

Maybe he meant something, after all.

When he reaches you, he feels it. You're happy. You're happy with him. He feels you reaching out, tickling him with strands of your will. You brush against his skin, burrow deep inside. Childe lets you, still unable to breathe.

He wonders if this is really happening. Have you come back to him, truly? Have you finally realized how much better he is? He feels you graze his soul, reaching deep within. Childe feels you envelop him, swathing him in warmth and comfort. 

You're home, you whisper. 

He only hears the ghost of your voice, a chime in the wind; but he hears the intent, the meaning behind your unintelligible words, even though he can't understand them. 

Childe breaks. 

SANGUINE NATUS ; first meeting/as a worshiper

If even just your breath could leave him weak, then seeing you for the first time makes his knees give out underneath him.

It's a foolishly embarrassing display, but Childe can't find it in himself to care. He falls to his knees quicker than his mind can catch up, unconsciously posturing himself to make himself seem as small and harmless as possible— anything to make you stay, even if it means sabotaging his image.

He tucks his shoulders inward, struggling between looking at you until his eyes burn and your image is seared into the back of his eyelids, or averting his gaze because just touching you with them feels like he's sullying you somehow.

His breath comes out short and sharp, his entire chest heaving with each shuddering, raspy exhale. Before he can even manage a sound, he's sobbing, crumpling to the floor— there's no care taken to your perception of him now, only the wailful cries of one lost in the weight of your eyes. Childe knows he's being pathetic, a mess of airy desperation and red eyes; everything he was when he felt the ghost of you leave him, and everything he wished you'd never see. But it's you, and for the first time, he can truly feel your eyes on him.

It's all too much to bear.

"I-It's you, it's you—!" Childe manages to choke, wet tears caking the apples of his face. His eyes strain, burning to see the visage of you through the blur of his vision. Nausea bites at him, his abdomen a sudden storm from the tears that lick at his cheeks.

Childe has always been austere in his worship; strict, solemn in how he acts out every religious rite. There is an icy silence unlike him as he moves, particularly whenever your sanctity is involved. His fingers still tremble despite his stiffness, the desperation loud in every twitch of his limbs. The desire to see you, after all is said and done.

Seeing you for the first time feels as though a wave has overtaken him, drowning him in brine and the cerulean of muddy waters. There is no hiding what he could barely contain before— jerky movements filled with need and the dolor of one disappointed before.

Childe no longer finds himself able to veil it by lies and rushing fights of adrenaline; now, it lies bare, and there's no burning ache to keep it hidden.

His fervor is relentless; a feverish desire to please you coalescing until it's unbearable for his skin. Your reaction to his cries could have been cruel or kind, and it wouldn't have bothered him; all that matters is whether he has finally proven himself worthy of standing by your side.

His worship is eager words spilling from his lips at night, the echo of your name a murmur from his mouth like the sigh of the ocean's waves-- his blades stained red, limp at his sides-- the burning in the back of his throat that comes from years of pleading.

You're here now, even if he can't be with you at all times; and that knowledge leaves him whispering to you, uttering every thought without a moment of reconsideration. It is a ceaseless endeavor, as every word is listless praise and endless adoration. There isn't a moment where he isn't thinking of you in some way, and the mere thought of the opposite leaves him feeling vaguely sick.

He wants to think of you all the time. Though it's such a small thing, in his mind, he has you all to himself— in the sense that there is no one else to take your eyes off of him— there, he can make you happy; there, he can make you proud of him. In that world, you have no reason to be rid of him.

Childe's always kept his habit of crafting you makeshift gifts. They're rugged, imperfect things, but laden with his fingerprints and the palms of his hands. Before, he could only set them still on his altar for you, and hope that it pleased you somehow. He was only ever met with silence, but he could pretend you were happy with him, and the idea alone was enough.

When he catches sight of a sea conch, its pale marks swirled across its smooth surface, he can only think of handing it to you. It's a beautiful thing, and so simple and crude a gift; but maybe you will find worth in such a thing, the simplicity of its nature, and praise him for it.

He gives them to you physically now, unable to shake the urge to do so. His hands always tremble when he hands them over, his knees threatening to buckle underneath him whenever your fingers brush against his. He will never fail to drown in the sensation, allowing everything that he is to become thoughts of you.

Childe has always worshiped you in bloodshed. In the past, he hoped it would leave you satisfied enough to come back; now, it's to prove how much better he is than everyone else. His fear runs deep, like cracks in the earth far below the water's surface, and the sickening feeling of dread whenever you praise someone else suffocates him.

It's unreasonable, he knows, and he has no reason to fear, not anymore— but his heart still quickens at the thought, and his stomach still twists.

It's an all too familiar feeling. When he was first torn from you, he felt as though his heart had been ripped right out of him; and the panic he feels only reminds him of it.

When he's inevitably forced away from you on another mission, he deals with it as quickly as possible, no matter how bloodied or bruised he leaves it. He is brutally unkind in his workings, his words always terse and clipped; a slight edge that never really seems to go away until he knows you're somewhere nearby.

It's when he's forced to stay away from you for a longer period of time that he breaks completely. Upon his return, he is instantly back at your side, heaving sobs and ugly tears running down his face. He can barely think, and a flurry of slurred words leaves his lips— begging to never leave your side again.

Childe knows better than to think he is deserving of your kindness, but he’s desperate to at least stay in your shadow. There, he could stay near you, even if he was swathed in black— even if his only glimpse of you was your back, he would be in bliss. To be near you in some form is all he could ever ask of you.

For all of the power you have granted him, it's only right that he use it for you. A mere word from anyone that isn't pure praise has his grip on his weapon tightening, the tendons on his hand taut and his knuckles pale. He remains entirely oblivious to any moral ambiguity in your actions— whatever you do is right and just; as you are the only one worthy of judging yourself, he does not dare too.

Instead, Childe draws his blade in judgement of others— he will act as your hand and executioner, the arbiter of your faith; it's with only vigor that he hands out punishment, a ferocity bold and true.

AMANS IN SPINIS IACET ; as your lover

Childe's dreams have begun to take a sudden turn.

It's not anything he can control, despite how hard he tries too. They pleased him at first, even though he still couldn't help the way his heart tightened at the idea of you somehow knowing. At that time, they weren't occurring enough for him to be worried, and the content themselves were innocent enough for him to think nothing of it.

You held him close to you, pressing benign kisses across his freckled cheeks, playing with his hair with soft fingers; little things that he could believe meant nothing at all, just a desire to feel your affection in the only way his mortal heart knew how.

The dreams turn nightly, and Childe finally realizes it's much more than that.

It begins at signs of your favoritism. Glances that last more than they should, summoning him to your chambers more frequently; Childe does not deny you, and he can't help the faint giddiness that clouds his mind every time he feels your gaze linger on him. It's a euphoric sensation to know that he is the one you are looking at; no one else. Only barely does he manage to rein in his emotions every time.

You speak much softer to him, and your touch is more affectionate. He turns drunk on your approval, willingly dancing to your whims if it meant having your fingers coiled in his hair for another moment. Before he can stop himself for even daring to think it, Childe lets himself believe he's special to you— and that is where the problem arises.

The thoughts don't stop. Even if he screams to drown out the noise, they still manage to be so loud. The dreams are relentless, more loving, more vivid. He can feel the warmth of your palms as you caress his cheeks, the weight of your breath when you draw your head near; they feel so real, that for a moment, he thinks you're the one sending them to him.

He feels as though he's dirtying you in some form, as if he is the one committing an unforgivable sin against you; somehow managing to desecrate you with just his thoughts alone. The idea sends him into a panic-induced frenzy, kneeling before his altar with rushed, unintelligible apologies on his lips.

Despite his self-hatred, whenever he wakes from one, Childe is left blissfully dazed, nuzzling into his pillow with hazy clarity— pretending that it's you, instead. He wonders what it would be like if his dreams were real, if he could really be so special to you in such a way; entirely irreplaceable, entirely yours.

It doesn't take long for his will to be eroded by his desperation. His desire to resist was already hanging by a thread, and as the dreams persist, any resistance on his end is lost. He falls ever deeper into an abyss of his own making, allowing himself to be undone by his own creation.

Childe has always been needy, but as his feelings rear their ugly head, it only grows worse. He has always loved you— and he had been struggling to choke his own feelings down for as long as he could, fooling himself into believing that they didn't exist in the first place. In his eyes, it's only right that you be the one to shake the foundation he lay; making him crumble until every dark part of himself is laid bare in front of you, only for your eyes.

There's a drastic increase in his desperation to be near you, and any lack of refusal on your part only exacerbates it. He neglects his duties entirely in favor of staying by you in some way or another, be it either by your side, or following you from a distance like a lost puppy.

Your admittance of feelings only makes Childe more fervent. He can barely hear himself speak, his heart fluttering against his ribcage like a caged canary. He can barely believe anything you're saying, and for a moment, he wonders if he's lost in another dream of his.

At your assurance, Childe doesn't dare to doubt you any longer. He falls entirely into you, allowing you to consume his every thought. He doesn't think to fight back, letting you envelop him until his every breath is coated in your name. He is yours, and he has no desire for anything more.

His desire for your approval now emboldens him. Childe's always acted out of an interest in garnering your attention, and though he now knows of your feelings, it does nothing to satiate him; instead, it leaves him hungrier, greedy with an eagerness to please.

He doesn't take from you without asking, but he asks enough for it to be a nuisance. Your affection is everything to him, and he can't bear to go a moment without it. He asks to lay his head in your lap, for you to play with his hair— the loss of your touch is the loss of himself, and sends him reeling back to memories of when he was without you.

The first time you kiss him, his legs instantly give out underneath him, a small groan leaving his lips. Childe doesn't bother to dull his reactions; you deserve to know how easily weakened he is by your touch, with even a brush of your fingers enough to leave him breathless and wanting.

As your favorite, Childe is quick to be rid of any competition. Whether or not you see them as possible suitors doesn't even cross his mind— the fear that snakes around his heart is ever-present, and if they're better than him in some form, it only grows in persistence. He doesn't hurt them, because surely that would upset you, and any devotee of you is worthy of respect— but he is quick to showcase his superiority, and to do so broadly without shame.

Childe grows used to his new status, and uses it to stay by your side constantly. Any attention you give to others is met with instant jealousy, seething glares sent to whoever stole your gaze, even if they only preoccupied a second of your mind.

He could never be mad at you, as clearly the fault lies within himself.

Any signs of your likes and dislikes are instantly noted. If you compliment someone for their behavior, he begins to emulate it, or at least he tries too. If you like Zhongli for how well he executes your orders, then Childe will be the same; only he will do it better, quicker, and prove himself still deserving of your love.

If he were perfect, then you would have no need for anyone else. If he were perfect, he would never have to worry about whether you'll grow bored of him the moment he stops being entertaining enough.

The thought of you with another leaves Childe sick without fail. He knows he has no control over you, and that if you wished to be rid of him, he would willingly walk into whatever punishment awaited him— but now that he has tasted what it feels like to be so utterly yours, he can't bear to imagine another sharing the same treatment.

You kissing another, holding another, letting someone else lay against you; all of it only serves to further blur his vision. Even if it is sinful of him to feel, he can't stop the emotions from swirling in his chest.

You are everything; the earth laid beneath his feet, the foundation of which he relies on. To be without you is to fall, to be without you means death; and if he must carve his skin and bone to fit the picture you want him to be, then he shall.

[jyoongim]

Just found you and read all your Alastor fics. Love them! My request is jealous fucking with breeding. But the jealousy comes on because of Lucifer. Luci comes to visit the hotel and causally makes a sweet comment to reader but as soon as he notices that it pisses off Al, Lucifer just goes all in offer to buy readers soul and free her just to piss off Al until reader and Charlie have to break them up before they fight. Then comes in the breeding, so everyone knows your his as if him owning your soul wasn’t enough

Oh I appreciate it so much! I hope you enjoy it around these parts and I am happy you enjoy my writing!

Warnings: fem!reader, jealous!Alastor, flirting, Lucifer riling up Alastor, rough sex, breeding kink, pregnancy mentioned

The hotel was in an uproar over the King of Hell's impending visit.

Charlie was a nervous wreck and you were doing everything to make sure that the hotel was somewhat presentable and that everyone was well behaved.

”Now just be your charming self and make sure to help promote the purpose of the hotel for Charlie” you said fixing Alastor’s bow tie. He smiled down at you, waving his hand dismissively “Oh don’t worry my dear Ill be the perfect host. There’s nothing to worry about”

Lucifer Morningstar, the King of Hell…was not what you had expected.

You could see where Charlie got her flare from.

He was looking around the lobby, taking in the interior and the residents. You didn’t miss the way his face scrunched up a bit.

”And here are our lovely hotel managers dad” Charlie said, turning towards you and Alastor.

You smiled, giving him a slight curtesy “Its a pleasure to meet you, Your Majesty, I hope that you enjoy your time here at the hotel” 

Lucifer dawned a sultry smile, grabbing your hand and bringing it to his lips. Kissing it.

”The pleasure is all mine”

Alastor growled, stepping between the two of you. He gave a tense smile “Pleased to meet you sir” he slapped your hand out of his and took it to shake. Lucifer blinked, a slight frown on his face “and you would be?” A snort escaped the red demon 

“Alastor! Im the host of the hotel. Maybe you’ve heard of my radio broadcast?” Lucifer deadpanned “nah never was one to consume media” he shrugged.

He slipped by to your side, looping an arm around you “Now I’m sure you wouldn’t mind giving me a tour hmmm? Show me all of the more intimate parts” he chortled, as you nervously turned to Alastor.

Alastor's smile was tense and his eye was twitching slightly.

Irritated and annoyed.

Lucifer seemed to pick up on that.

He eyed the lanky demon, before cooing at you “oh don’t tell me you need the bellhop’s permission? ”

oh no. The lights flickered.

You cleared your throat “I would be honored your grace,but Alastor knows the hotel better than I. He can show you around” you offered, making the King groan.

Charlie chirped in “Yes yes. Alastor has been a great help. Well shall we?���

The tour went without any mishap. Alastor had you tucked away into his side as Charlie gave a run through of what she was trying to achieve.

Charlie suggested dinner before her dad left, to give him a little convincing to help.

You bustled about the kitchen, setting everyone’s meal down and making your way to sit by Alastor.

A hand grabbed your wrist, you stiffened as Lucifer gave you a charming smile “why not sit by me. Charlie has told of some of the improvements you think would work for the hotel”

You heard a static buzz as you took a seat by him.

You listened quietly as Charlie went on and on about her plans.

Lucifer had been not so subtly subtly flirting with you the entire dinner.

”Well I will think about it Charlie. I do believe your dream is possible” She smiled happily. he turned his eyes to you

”Especially with such lovely help” you blushed.

He seemed more interested in you.

”sooo what’s your deal with that guy” he was referring to Alastor

you tilted your head in question, he clarified his intention

”I mean he own your soul or something? A pretty little thing like you shouldn’t be tied to the likes of him. how about I nullify whatever deal you made and you take you under my wing instead”

You looked at him shocked.

The sound of glass breaking sounded and Alastor shook his hand of the liquid once in the glass

He chuckled darkly “Well I am afraid it is late, wouldn’t you agree dearest?” His eyes narrowed on the man as he stood, coming around to stand behind you.

His eyes were black and glowing red as he practically sneered at the King.

Lucifer was unfazed by the intimidation tactic.

”haha what I strike a nerve? You’ve got this amazing beauty on a leash and for what? Im sure shell do much better being tied to you” 

Before Alastor could lunge at the man, you stood up and pressed yourself against him as you heard Charlie grab her dad to pull him away. 

Your hands reached for his face, turning his enraged eyes to you.

You shook your head at him slightly. You know when someone wa just trying to ruffle his feathers.

”I am feeling quite tired from today’s activities why don’t we turn in for the night yes?” You pleaded with him, softly pushing him back towards to door.

Large hands gripped your waist as his turned his eyes back towards Lucifer, he hissed lowly before whisking you out of the kitchen and to your shared bedroom.

———————————————————————————

The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room.

You whined at a harsh thrust that jolted your body against the silky sheets.

The room was buzzing with static as Alastor fucked into you.

Green chains hung heavy around your collar as Alastor pulled on them to pull you into his thrusts.

He was pissed.

His usual composed and controlled demeanor slipping the moment he slammed the door.

He had taken you against the door roughly, too pent up to let you get a single word out.

He had thrown you onto the bed after, a dark aura surrounding him as his antlers grew with the angry emotions swirling inside him.

“Ah! Ha! A-Alastor!” You moaned as another orgasm racked through you.

He twisted your chains around his arm as he used them as leverage to drill his dick into you.

“Who do he think he is?” He growled, pushing your head into the mattress 

“Thinking he can just take you from me…ME?! You are mine”

You let out a cry as he ruined your walls, balls slapping against your cunt.

“You wouldn’t leave my side would you sweetheart” he hissed down at you, turning your head so you could see him.

”Who would want you after I ruin you hmm? You would be nothing but sloppy seconds.” He regraded you, angry at the very thought of you thinking you could terminate your deal with him.

Your deal with Alastor was nothing too extreme. Your complete devotion to him for his protection.

While he might not admit it, Alastor had grown accustomed to you being by his side, able to help him see reason and take on tasks he found too mundane.

You were like his wife in a sense. 

Soft and caring, always doing whatever he asked of you.

You never complained, happily fulfilling your duties to a tee.

And some goofy, short king thinks you would leave your benefactor?

Had he not given you anything you ever wanted?

You were the most free soul he had, that was a privilege.

Your cunt squelched as he pulled out, the tip kissing your outer lips as he stilled in his rough fucking.

You panted, clammy sweat sticking to your body as he tugged at your chains.

You were on your back, thighs spread around his waist.

A hand wrapped around your throat, Alastor leaning down to press a surprise soft kiss to your forehead

”You wouldn’t dare leave me would you baby” he cocked his head at you.

You shook your head quickly, hoping that he had blew off enough steam to finally be reasonable.

But Alastor’s jealousy was ugly.

He wouldn’t be done with you until there was nothing you thought about but him.

He should be what plagues your thoughts.

You should crave him by the time he was done.

He slotted back inside you, making you gasp as he returned to his fast pace.

”Leave me for that sorry excuse of a king? Ha! You wouldn’t. No not my pretty girl. Youre my good girl aren’t you?”

You mewled as you watch him transform.

”I-Im your good girl Ah! Pl-please!” Your eyes clenched closed in pleasure.

”Youre mine. You understand that? I own you. Your every thought. Every feeling. Your body, mind, and soul are mine. You gave them to me oh so happy. I can do whatever I please with you. Ruin you and dump you off into the street like a common whore if I wished”

You whimpered at his words.

”But thats not enough is it? Hmmm? Noooo. Youre not mine” he purred.

you pouted, ready to reassure him that you were, in fact, his.

He lifted one of your legs to your chest, angling his hips down

”Ill make sure every disrespectful wretch knows you are mine. Fir it seems my constant presence isn’t enough”

Your cunt fluttered.

How else would….

His dick hit that sweet spot deep inside you

”Oh! Ah!” His hand on your neck tightened as a sharp smile appeared on his face

”So maybe putting a claim to you will do the trick”

Your mouth shaped into an ‘O’ as he fucked you roughly, hips grinding down as if to make you mold to his very shape.

Sinners couldn’t reproduce.

Right?

that was your last coherent thought as he slammed his hips into yours over and over til he sighed, his dick twitching as he filled you with his cum.

You whined as he gave soft thrusts to keep his cum inside you, purring as it spilled around him, pooling around your ass.

You whined when he pulled out, hearing a soft ‘pop’ as you clenched around nothing.

A hand settled on your lower belly, now full of his cum, Alastor grinned wicked “Let’s see how much the pipsqueak will want you now my dear” he chuckled.

———————————————————————————

“Its nice to see you again sir” you said welcoming the King of Hell inside the hotel.

He smiled and once he got a good look at you, it fell.

”Charlie will be down in a second do you need anything?” You asked sweetly, hand resting on your swollen belly.

He stuttered out a response in surprise “O-oh w-why thank you. I take it you’ve been well”

Alastor manifested behind you, grinning at the short monarch, his arm roping around your waist, hand settling on the side of your stomach “Ah yes! We’ve been busy. Im sure you can tell”

Alastor- 2

Lucifer- 0

[mumms-the-word]

Illithid Souls - Part 2

The Case Studies: Tav/Durge and Orpheus

In Part 1, I went over some of the basics of what a soul normally is, where souls go after death, and whether mind flayers have souls. I ultimately ended up saying that most humanoids have apostolic souls (souls that deities recognize as being capable of divine worship), while mind flayers have some other kind of soul, one that isn't recognizable by deities or devils. This is why Jergal and Mystra and so on think that illithid don’t have souls. When a humanoid with an apostolic soul turns into a mind flayer, their soul is either ejected and moves on to the Fugue Plane, or their soul is transformed into a non-apostolic soul (depending on what you want to believe).

But the problem is, that's normal lore, and BG3 has made things a little strange by imbuing all the tadpoles that infect our characters with Netherese magic. And that, friends, makes the BG3 mind flayers different.

This post is going to look at some interesting context from the game for the Emperor, Tav/Durge and Orpheus. (It got pretty long so I'm moving Karlach and Gale to a third post.) We're going to figure out whether the rules about mind flayers and souls change now that there's Netherese magic involved. The ultimate answer is yes, but how? And is it consistent?

(Spoiler: it isn't, but you can use this lore to come up with your own theories and ideas)

Let's take another deep dive! Buckle up, and don't worry, I have a short summary at the bottom.

The Case of the Emperor

I'm actually not going to linger too long on the Emperor because for many reasons he breaks the lore. If he's Balduran and a mind flayer, he shouldn't have lived as long as he says he's lived. Not only that, his memory is allegedly flawless when the lore states he shouldn't remember any of his previous life (there are other inconsistencies too, but that's a different post). However, I do want to touch on a couple of things.

The Emperor both is and isn't our baseline for how a mind flayer normally exists. He should be a normal lore-accurate mind flayer (though a rogue one), because he wasn't infected with a Netherese-touched tadpole. But he's a Special Mind Flayer instead, for reasons we don't entirely understand (again, he generally breaks the lore). Perhaps this is because of his brush with Gortash and the other Chosen of the Dead Three, or perhaps he just somehow has a strong enough personality that when he broke free of an elder brain's compulsion a lot of his memories came back to him. Who knows?

But regardless, a few conversations with him reinforce the idea that mind flayers typically aren't completely soulless. At the very least, they still contain memories (he has his memories of his time as Balduran), intelligence (he's a schemer, that's for sure), and personality/emotions:

Emperor: You think that mind flayers are soulless husks who feel nothing. Belynne thought the same at first. You are wrong. Feeling is vital to the pursuit of anyone's goals. Even a mind flayer's. Like you, mind flayers know fear. Like you, we crave recognition. But unlike you, unlike the others of my kind, I am no slave to either. My end is and has always been freedom.

We can quibble about whether or not he's manipulating the player here, but his words are generally true. As discussed in part 1, mind flayers are not soulless husks. When they're enthralled, they might be more devoid of independent thinking, but they have emotions/feelings and can create memories. They just might have a smaller range of emotion than humanoids do (thus his reference to "not being a slave" to fear or desire) and their memories might not be entirely their own (more on that with Karlach in part 3).

Regardless, the Emperor is our leading authority for what it's like to be a mind flayer, so we're sort of forced to trust him when we ask him to explain what full ceremorphosis is about to do to us, especially because its his Supreme Tadpole that is about to change us.

Player: What would happen to me? Emperor: You would be altered in mind, body, and soul beyond all recognition.

So this is interesting. Altered in mind and body, that's a given. Altered in soul, though...what does that mean?

Remember in Part 1 where I offered two theories about what happens to the original soul of someone undergoing ceremorphosis? Theory 1: they just die and the soul moves on to the Fugue Plane, and the mind flayer gets a new illithid soul from...somewhere. Theory 2: The soul transforms and remains tethered to the mind flayer body, different than it was before (potentially unrecognizable as the original soul, but some elements of the original may remain).

The Emperor's words suggest more of theory 2 here. But is that, in fact, what happens when we become illithid? Well...let's find out.

The Case of Tav and Durge (or most Origin runs)

When you do turn into a mind flayer, the narrative typically focuses on how powerful you feel. Your mind and body feel as though they are one and you are also desperately hungry. There isn't much in the Narrator's dialogue or your dialogue with your friends to suggest that your soul has been completely obliterated, though.

In fact, there's an interesting moment that happens if you turn into a mind flayer without the Emperor there and go up to Orpheus still in his cage. The way I accomplished this was to ask to change into a mind flayer so the Emperor would give me the Supreme Tadpole, then I said I would change later, then stopped the Emperor from consuming Orpheus so he would leave. Then I used the Supreme Tadpole to turn into a mind flayer and went to examine Orpheus.

Narrator: *His eyes are unseeing, his voice silenced. But even with his mind caged, you can feel his power. You can almost taste the fluid beneath his scalp, cushioning that sweet, dense brain, and the power within it. You are hungry.* Lae'zel: I see that look, I know that look. Don't you dare. Player: [Wisdom Check] Cling to your former nature. Quash your hunger. This is not who you are. Narrator: *Your mind and body whine with disappointment. But your soul lets out a gentle thrum of relief.*

I find this fascinating for a couple of reasons. One, the check I chose (there are two, the second is a strength check) meant reaching out to a "former" nature and reminding myself (or my Tav's self) that this is not who she is. When I succeeded, my Tav's mind and body protested, but her soul was filled with relief.

So she has a soul! And it seems to be her own soul, but perhaps transformed. So this sort of supports theory 2, that perhaps when humanoids turn into mind flayers, their soul is altered. This could also just be a quirk specific to those infected with a Netherese tadpole, or even further, someone who transformed using the Emperor's Supreme Tadpole.

Because here's the thing. When Tav/Durge, Orpheus, Companion!Karlach, or any Origin character transforms into a mind flayer using the Supreme Tadpole, they become a special mind flayer. This is mostly due to the Netherese magic, which adds some weird and undefined changes to the whole mind flayer thing. I'm going to use "I guess it's the Netherese magic/Supreme Tadpole" as a scapegoat this entire post because I don't know what else to point to to explain how these guys are just Different Than Your Average Mind Flayer, so be prepared for that. But at the very least, we know something's different.

In fact the Narrator literally says you're probably different than the average mind flayer after you defeat the Netherbrain!

Narrator: *You are a mind flayer, the very thing you sought to eradicate. Whatever self you still possess is quickly ebbing away. Your friends and enemies alike are ripe for manipulation, and if not manipulation, then consumption. Soon you will be able to trust yourself at all. You will be a monstrosity beyond redemption. Or not. Perhaps you are unique among illithid-kind. Perhaps you will retain enough of who you are to resist your nature. A rogue mind flayer. Like the Emperor. The risk is certainly yours to take - will you?*

Unlike normal mind flayers who lose most of their memories (and allegedly most of their personality/former selves) almost immediately after transforming, it takes Tav/Durge/most Origins longer to lose that sense of self, if indeed they lose it at all. The Narrator suggests we might be losing parts of ourselves, but there's a chance we're unique and might retain our sense of selves.

We do see glimpses of us retaining our personalities in the epilogue of course, but what is more interesting is if you decide to imprison yourself post-ceremorphosis. Withers will visit you in prison for a final conversation. (This conversation shifts a little if you're a Durge, but here is the Tav conversation.)

Withers: Thou remainest in thy chains. A hero, sacrificed. I told thee once that an illithid hath no soul, and yet...something glimmerest about thee. Something is not lost. Dost thou feel it? The spark of the divine within thee? Or does thy hunger consume thee? Player: [Option 1] I'm still myself. I don't know if I belong here. Player: [Option 2] I feel the hunger. But I feel myself, too. I'm not sure which to trust. Player: [Option 3] Have you come to torment me with hypotheticals, old friend? Player: [Option 4] Does it matter? This is my life now.

If you go with option 4, you hear Withers ponderingly say, "Thy life...yes..." before moving on to say that fate isn't done with you yet, which is his response to all the other options as well.

But the more important thing is that even Jergal recognizes a "spark of the divine" within you. Your soul should either be cast off and already wandering the Fugue Plane (if going with theory 1) or so completely transformed that it's no longer an apostolic soul that Jergal would be able to recognize as a god. Yet Jergal recognizes the soul within your mind flayer body as being...well, partly apostolic.

Interesting!

We get a similar dialogue if you sacrifice yourself as a mind flayer, too, though this is fascinating because now it's Withers literally finding your soul (still shaped like a mind flayer, which is interesting) somewhere that is...very gray. There's a suggestion that this might be in the Fugue Plane, or in some limbo state where souls sometimes end up, but regardless, Withers, the soul-finder himself, was able to track down your lingering soul.

Withers: Thou flickerest in the dark - but with mine keen eye, I hath scryed thee. I told thee once that an illithid hath no soul, and yet thou seemest to have something of the spirit about thee. I cannot account for it. How delightful. Tell me, how doth it feel to roam about as thou art now, transformed? Player: [Option 1] Where am I? [mumm's note: he basically doesn't answer this question lol] Player: [Option 2] I still feel like myself. My memories, my feelings - all intact. Withers: No matter how many aeons I have roamed this world and beyond, I am ever-surprised by mysteries new and old.

Even Withers is surprised that the soul you have is something he not only recognizes as a soul, but as your soul. I love how amused and intrigued he sounds when he says "I cannot account for it. How delightful." He even smiles when he says it. He thinks you're super neat! And also a new phenomenon.

(As an aside, I wonder if you being mind-flayer-shaped but still recognizable as you is a hint that your soul did indeed transform to be illithid, but didn't fully transform into a non-apostolic soul like normal illithids would. Like, I wonder if your soul is now half-apostolic and just permanently mind-flayer-shaped. RIP. But this would explain why bringing you back via True Resurrection is kind of a nonviable option since you'd just come back as a mind flayer, and this is the ending where you took your own life to avoid being a mind flayer for forever, so I doubt you'd even want to come back if you couldn't come back to your original body. Things to ponder!)

Anyway, you having something that has glimpses, sparks, or hints of the divine/the spirit about you does tell us that as a mind flayer, your soul wasn't destroyed. It may have been transformed, but you're not as soulless as you thought you were going to be, and you're actually still pretty close to being who you were before the transformation.

Close, but not perfectly or exactly like you were before. You did transform, after all. But these changes become more obvious in other examples, such as with Karlach.

You having a partly-apostolic soul that retains all its memories and most of its original personality is obviously VERY unique and different to what most mind flayers experience. For example, if you turn yourself illithid and then free Orpheus (again, see the same steps above, but go a step farther and actually free him this time), then Orpheus will be utterly shocked that you're capable of independent thought.

Orpheus: What is this... A mind flayer in possession of its mental faculties? This is the stuff of fables. It is as if I am reliving the legend of Oryndoll. You are the illithid Urengol, rebelling against your own hivemind. And I am the noble githyanki Valraag who must now reconsider his position. An illithid capable of rebelling against the Netherbrain's instruction... Not only capable but willing... If your intentions are as righteous as they seem, this is an advantage I cannot overlook. An advantage that must be grasped, for our enemy is formidable indeed. Very well. I propose an alliance.

A couple of notes here: Oryndoll is/was a real mind flayer colony far, far below the surface in the southern regions of Faerûn (beneath the Shining Plains). Not only is it ancient, but the wealth of knowledge stored inside via illithid technology rivals and probably even surpasses that of Candlekeep's library. There's at least one book in the game that talks about a foolish drow adventurer searching for Oryndoll, only to end up a mind flayer, while another hints at Oryndoll's role in the history of the Duergar race. But these are the only mentions of Oryndoll in the game.

Oryndoll has a history in D&D lore, but there's no mention of Urengol and Valraag (that I could find). If this is a fable Orpheus knows, it's apparently so ancient that only he remembers it. But that itself is interesting, because it makes Urengol his closest reference to you having become a rogue, independently-thinking, and emotionally driven mind flayer. He can't think of any other examples, that's how unique you are.

The most important thing here is that Orpheus literally considers your independently thinking self as so baffling, so impossible, it should only exist in fables. That, I think, says a lot.

The next question is, does he think he would become just as unique?

The Case of Orpheus

We all know Orpheus can be convinced to turn into a mind flayer and sacrifice his soul for his people. I'm sure he genuinely does think he is sacrificing his soul, as there is no real precedent that he or anyone else seems to know of for a person who turns into a mind flayer and keeps their soul (or at least keeps their same memories, personality, and intelligence). But if he's surprised that he's kept all his memories after turning illithid, he doesn't really show it.

You can ask him about it, of course, after he's turned into a mind flayer and after you've defeated the Netherbrain. His response is kind of interesting.

Player: You're a mind flayer, but you're still you, aren't you? Orpheus: Yes. But for how long? My mind screams. It will never stop until it has slipped away from me entirely.

No one else seems to define their illithid experience this way. I'm curious if his mind screaming is referring to the hunger he feels, the same hunger he is actively trying to resist, but he doesn't elaborate on this. Regardless, he's certain that while he has retained his personality (and probably his soul) for now, it's not going to last.

This is why he asks for an honorable death after the defeat of the Netherbrain.

Player: You don't deserve to die. Orpheus: I will not be ghaik! I did what I did to save my people. [...] The rest is up to them. Someone else must rise within the ranks to lead the revolution against Vlaakith. Give me my freedom from this form, release my soul to the Astral Seas while I still have one to call my own.

Orpheus believes that he only has a temporary grasp on his soul or consciousness, which may or may not have transformed into a different kind of soul. Then again, if he thinks his soul is going to the Astral Seas, maybe it doesn't matter whether his soul was transformed from apostolic to non-apostolic. I'm not even sure if githyanki have apostolic souls at all, since they wouldn't really be interested in the deities that govern matters on the Material Plane. I mean, for a long time Lae'zel wants her soul to be eaten by Vlaakith (a literal lich queen who eats souls) via "ascension" so...

I also have no idea if his soul, once released to the Astral Seas, would be mind-flayer-shaped. I guess that's the great mystery. I would assume yes, but I also don’t know how souls manifest in the Astral Seas and finding sources on this has been difficult (it all boils down to “ask your DM”).

Orpheus can be convinced to stay alive and just hang out in a far-off "corner of these realms" to watch his people fight against Vlaakith from afar, and there's kind of a hint that him agreeing to do this means he isn't actually afraid he'll lose his entire soul. But at this point, we're getting too far into "maybes" and "what ifs" to suggest anything concrete.

Quick picture break of Orpheus contemplating the Supreme Tadpole to break up the text (I just thought it was a good shot)

Now I do have to acknowledge two things about Orpheus: one, he could be a special mind flayer precisely because of his unique abilities to shield his mind from elder brain compulsion, which means his unique abilities could also be the reason why he retains so much of his personality and therefore his soul. Since most of the time you end up eating his brain and absorbing his abilities, this could also explain why you retain so much of your own soul if you become a mind flayer instead.

In this scenario, you’re a special mind flayer because (1) you have a Netherese tadpole, (2) you transformed using the Supreme Tadpole, and (3) then you ate Orpheus’s brain. All three elements could be at play.

But not everyone eats Orpheus’s brain, so that theory has holes. I genuinely think you just end up being a special mind flayer because of the Netherese magic that messes with your tadpole. The Supreme Tadpole plus Orpheus’s abilities would only be the icing on the cake, so to speak.

The second thing I want to acknowledge is that there’s a glaring plothole for Orpheus even turning into a mind flayer at all, if you play the game a certain way. If you send the Emperor away to free Orpheus before the Emperor gives you the Supreme Tadpole (for example if you send Lae’zel over to smash the chains holding Orpheus captive without talking to the Emperor, which is what I did one time, and the Emperor was literally like “don’t talk to me again bye” and left), then how does he turn into a mind flayer? He doesn’t have a tadpole and you don’t have the Supreme Tadpole to give to him.

He gets around this with you or Karlach by saying he’ll lower his mental shields so that your tadpole hears the Netherbrain’s orders to transform and then replace the shields again.

Orpheus: My defences keep the voice of the Absolute out, but just as I can raise them, so I can lower them. I will allow the voice of the Absolute in. Once it reaches you, it will order you to transform. It will only take a moment. And once you are a mind flayer, I will fold you under my protection once more. You will be the saviour of empires, not least my own. Narrator: *With the withdrawal of Orpheus' power, your mind is rushed with the full force of the Netherbrain. You feel a compulsion unlike anything you've ever known - excruciating and exhilarating in equal measure. You wish nothing in the world but to evolve. Then - complete silence, as you are once again closed off from the Netherbrain's mind.*

So that makes sense, and it means you being a special mind flayer could boil down to your personality being hella strong + you being infected with a special Netherese tadpole. In this scenario, the Supreme Tadpole can’t be used to explain your unique soul-keeping abilities, and neither can you attribute your soul-keeping abilities to consuming Orpheus's brain (since he's still alive). So maybe the Supreme Tadpole and/or Orpheus's brain doesn’t have any effect on why you keep your mostly-unaltered soul.

In the end I guess it’s just the weird Netherese tadpole that does the trick? Honestly, I wonder if it all boils down to the fact that the Netherese tadpole doesn't eat your brain, it just lies dormant and incubating in your head, so you're not losing brain matter. (But this ignores or forgets that when you eat other tadpoles you literally watch them burrow into your brain matter so I'm sure the magic has something to do with it too.)

But anyway this still doesn’t explain why Orpheus, who shouldn’t have a tadpole, somehow turns into a mind flayer by, I don’t know, manifesting it??? Or why he is also a unique mind flayer once he does this without the Supreme Tadpole. I mean in his case I’m sure it is because he has special mind shield abilities but still. How did he turn into a mind flayer without a tadpole? Make it make sense, Larian.

He literally just touches his head with a psionic magic effect, which is the same gesture he uses to lower his mental shield to allow the Netherbrain to force you to transform. It's also interesting that if you have him transform using the Supreme Tadpole, then he doesn't say anything as he accepts the tadpole from you and absorbs it. But if you have him change without the tadpole, then he says, "The Netherbrain will be only too pleased to claim me."

Which...kind of implies that he's somehow able to communicate with the Netherbrain or hear its voice, so...maybe he secretly does have a tadpole? I mean, a popular theory is the Emperor probably did tadpole Orpheus off-screen since he seems to have a level of compulsion over Orpheus, but this is never explained or mentioned in the game so do whatever you want with that theory.

But I digress.

Let's do a quick summary, shall we?

TLDR: You're probably a super special mind flayer who gets to keep their soul mostly intact (or mostly unaltered) because your tadpole was imbued with Netherese magic and generally doesn't eat your brain. You might also be super special because you transformed using the Supreme Tadpole (optional) and/or consumed Orpheus's brain (also optional). Orpheus might be a super special mind flayer simply because he's Orpheus, and that is why he can still retain most of his soul/personality, even though he keeps thinking he's going to lose it. His status as special mind flayer seems unchanged whether he transformed using the Supreme Tadpole or not, so it really must be an Orpheus Thing.

Phew. That was a lot. And honestly, Karlach and Gale only complicate things, so they're going in a separate post. Keep an eye out for Part 3!

~*~*~

You made it to the end!!! Amazing, you deserve an achievement or something, but all I have are more gold stars.

✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨

Tags for those who wanted the update! @galesdevoteewife @stuffforthestash

[shegetsburned]

face-sitting w. satoru gojo ༘ ೀ⋆˚

.nsfw.

satoru gojo is the type to get off to your cunt against his mouth.

it’s this one special spot, this one sensation that makes him go crazy. the way he feels when you’re spread out on top of him, leaning your weight against his face, is indescribable.

he’ll most likely ask for it. satoru’s undoubtedly used to being in control and in his comfort zone. he’s the strongest after all. but when he’s with you, he wants nothing more but to suffocate while his lips and tongue are working to pleasure you. it’s a euphoric feeling. almost ecstatic.

he’s holding your thighs down, squeezing them on both sides of his head before engulfing his tongue into your cunt. it’s already dripping wet from the work of his fingers minutes earlier and the taste makes so him hard.

he knows how to work his way between your folds, nibbling at your clit with his teeth when he retracts his tongue. he makes sure to not leave one spot unattended, loudly sucking on it. it leaves your back arching, trying to hold onto whatever you can to keep composure.

you can hear a deep exhale when he leans back just to catch his breath with his tongue still dangling out of his mouth. his eyes are staring at the feast that’s in front of him, debating which spot he should attack next. not that he hesitates but he has so many ideas and ways to satisfy you.

but what does it for him, what awakens his soul, what makes him go absolutely feral, what transcends his whole body with excitement, building up through his entire being and leaving him as a pleading mess is the moment you start rocking your pelvis against his face. the sound escaping from your trembling lips while you ride him is enough for pre-cum to make its way out and stain his pants.

then it happens, while you’re rubbing your lower body back and forth against his lips, his mouth stimulates your clit and you can’t help but put more weight so you can finally release yourself upon him. he feels your walls clench against his tongue once you reach your climax.

his grip tightens around your thighs once he feels you’re close, hurrying his tongue to go deeper. the only thing he wants at this very moment is to taste everything you’re gonna release.

“look at you, soaking wet just from playing with my mouth. good fucking girl. you did so good— so fucking good.”

satoru does everything so well, and eating you out certainly isn’t the exception but there’s always a tiny little selfish reason behind his eagerness to bury himself between your legs.

© shegetsburned 2024. Please do not repost/edit/or claim my writing as your own.

[iiotic]

Can I request Alastor, Vox and Angel Dust with a fem reader that deals with souls? like more specifically, she maintains souls, which will die soon, new souls, souls that go to hell, souls that go to heaven and such, she basically knows everything about everyone and owns every soul and can control it if they get in the way of her work

Alastor, Vox & Angel Dust with Fem! Reader who deals with souls

TW - Swearing, mentions of death

༉‧ა°.Vox:

Vox thinks that you have the potential to be his model, his assistant, his lover.

At first he'd want you to stay close to him because he knows that you're absolutely powerful. But as you two get close things start to go in a little different way.

When you told him that you know everything about everyone, knowing every single detail about them he thinks you two are alike!!

I mean he does stalk most of the sinners and hypnotise them through screens

If I should be honest my brain isn't braining right now but overall I think that he'd try to use you at first (just like alastor) and get you to became his assistant or whatever but when he gets to know you he finds out your true power.

Thinks that your ability to control someone through their soul is cool as fuck just as Angel Dust

༻༉Alastor:

You met Alastor at an gala organised by Carmilla for overlords, royal blood and powerful, important beings etc.

He wasn't entirely confused that you already knew who he was. Alastor has a high status in hell being known ass the radio demon and also is quite popular for his radio broadcasts.

When you first told him that you "deal" in souls he thought that you meant making deals for sinners soul. That wouldn't make him any different then you. Then why were you different?

At first you didn't explain shit to him because why would you? But after some time, without The Radio Demon asking you. You explained everything slowly and carefully for him.

Quite impressed! Definitely tried to get on your good side at first to have you on his side.. You told him what you can do but he never actually saw your true power.

After thinking about what you just told him, he questioned himself if you knew about someone's or rather his past.

Still doesn't entirely understand how things work as he already sold his soul.. But pretends like he does

‧꒰ა Angel Dust:

Thinks its cool but doesn't entirely know how this shit works. Like what do you mean you own his soul?? Valentino does.

Thinks its kinda hot when you pushed him out of your way when he disturbed you without even touching him. From now on he absolutely looooves annoying you.

(Annoying you aka. Flirting, getting in the way of your work, saying stupid shit, asking oblivious questions.)

When you first met him he didn't treat you any different ngl.

One day you decided to take him to your "work" because he was dying for you to show him how it works. He was absolutely amazed when he saw everything there!!

Would never tell you that tho. Just says that cool and the conversation ends.

---

(A/N) - sorry if it's bad I wrote it at like 2am it's unedited too

[remuslovebot]

hii, could you do something where reader is family friend and visits every summer so she’s there when Ollie is too, and he senses reader and felix’s tension and tries to ruin it or come between them? And like some angst, drama, tension and just pent up frustration between Felix and reader

ooh yes! angst and drama, this is perfect

i hope you enjoy and thank you for the request!

☙☙☙☙

pairing: felix catton x fem!reader

warnings: use of y/n, angst, toxic relationships, manipulation, ollie being ollie, jealous!felix, possessive!felix, language.

a/n: I’m really proud of this

☙☙☙☙

You had spent every summer with the Cattons since you were 15 years old. Your father, Henry Roy was best friends with Sir James Catton. Once you met the Catton siblings— Venetia and Felix you came to Saltburn every summer.

Felix Catton. How would someone describe the human embodiment of the Greek god Apollo? That was Felix. He was tall and lanky. When his brown eyes fixed on you, it was like he was staring into your soul.

You couldn’t help but feel attracted to Felix. There was a spark between you two, that burned every summer.

When you turned 18, the Catton sibling’s cousin Farleigh joined in your summer adventures.

The four of you would run through that maze, figuring out its intricate design. Drinking every night and running naked through the tall grass that grew around the castle’s edge.

The summer before you went off to college, Felix and you shared your first kiss. It was a hot sunny day, Farleigh and Venetia were drinking by the pool. Felix had taken you off into maze for a walk.

When you came upon the statue in the middle of the maze, you and Felix were laughing. He leaned in and kissed you. Surprised at first, you pulled away. Then you planted your lips to his and kissed him until dark.

Then the summer ended and you had to go to University in Paris. You told the family you would come back every summer. And you kept your promise.

Now after your first year at college, you came to Saltburn for the summer. Hoping to see Felix. Neither of you had talked about your kiss last summer. It was a moment of passion and you doubted Felix would want to be with someone like you.

You’d heard from Elsbeth that Felix was bringing home a friend. You dreaded the thought of it being a girl, until Elsbeth clarified it was a poor boy from Liverpool.

The day before Oliver arrived you came to the house. Elsbeth was overjoyed to see you, giving you a hug and her usual kind compliment. Venetia said hi and pulled you aside, letting you know that would be staying on her side of the castle.

Farleigh and you exchanged jokes, although really happy to see eachother. Sir James asked you about your father and told you that he planned on inviting your family for dinner one night.

But you wondered where Felix was.

“Where’s Felix?” You asked Venetia, she was like a sister to you. You knew to trust her and she would always have your best interest at heart.

“He’s hiding and also preparing for his new friend Ollie to come over tomorrow. It’s annoying, he won’t stop talking about him. And you, christ, Felix is so nervous to see you,”

You blushed when she said this. But as if he heard his own name, Felix was walking into the room. You looked up at him, a smile spreading on your face.

You walked to him and he pulled you into a hug. Felix had missed you and he wanted to tell you how he felt. After he kissed you last summer he realized how in love with you he was. Felix spent the entire school year pining after you, figuring out a way to tell you.

When he became friends with Oliver, he always talked about you. How you were a friend but could definitely become something more.

Oliver was jealous. He was madly obsessed with Felix and had plans of his own this summer.

“I’m so glad you’re here, y/n,” Felix smiled charmingly at you.

“I’m glad too,” you replied, looking up at him with heart eyes. Venetia gave Farleigh a ‘let’s hope they get together this summer’ look.

After a night of pleasantries, you went to your room excited for what the summer had to bring. Little did you know, this was the calm before the storm.

☙☙☙☙

Oliver arrived the next day. You met him and heard all about his sad backstory. He was nice to you. Felix introduced you to him and immediately Oliver saw how much he loved you.

It made him sick with jealousy. So he planned to tear you two apart.

Later that day, you walked back to your room to change for dinner when you stumbled across a note.

‘Meet me in the garden tonight after everyone goes to bed — Felix ♡︎’

You blushed, closing up the note and planning to meet him. When you got to the garden, you waited. You didn’t see Felix anywhere. You sighed in frustration and confusion. You were cold.

But then you heard foot steps and in the dark you could see a figure. But it wasn’t Felix, it was Oliver.

“What are you doing out here Ollie?” You asked, your arms wrapped around yourself.

“I saw you, from my window. I wanted to know if your okay,” he said.

“Thanks, Ollie but I’m fine. I’m waiting for Felix. I thought—never mind,” You said.

“What?” Oliver asked, his plan unfolding just as he imagined.

“Felix asked me to be here. I thought he was going to tell me he wanted me, after last year,” you explained vaguely.

“Ah well. I don’t want to hurt your feelings but Felix has someone. Well multiple girls. He can’t keep his hands off them at Oxford. It’s ridiculous,” Oliver lied straight to your face. And you believed him.

Tears came to your face. Felix wasn’t interested in you and he already had someone, someone that wasn’t you. “No it’s alright. Thank you for telling me,” you said, wiping away a tear.

“I’m cold, so I should return to the house,” you said, walking past Oliver. He grabbed your hand and pulled you close.

Leaning in, he kissed you softly. You pulled away from him.

“Ollie no,” you said, looking into with eyes with warning. He let your hand go and you walked back into the house.

As you walked back into the house, you didn’t know that Felix saw you and Oliver kiss. As soon as he saw it, his heart broke and he turned away from the window. He didn’t see you pull away and leave.

The next morning, breakfast was awkward to say the least.

You were mad at Felix for not telling you he was involved and for standing you up. Felix thought you’d gotten with Oliver and was extremely jealous.

He was also angry with Oliver, as he knew how Felix felt about you.

Later that day, Oliver tried to find Felix. He was sulking in the sun.

“Felix? Is everything alright?” Ollie asked innocently. Felix just huffed in response.

“What do you think?” Felix asked passive aggressively.

“I’m not sure. I want to know what’s made you so upset?” Ollie asked innocently.

“How could you get with Y/n? I saw you two last night in the garden. You kissed her,” Felix said, sounding hurt.

Oliver frowned. “She wanted me to kiss her. I didn’t know what else to do. She left me a note to meet me and I was going to turn her down because I know how much you like her,” he said.

Felix’s face softened but his heart was breaking. Did you not like him? Obviously not if you wanted Oliver to kiss you, he thought.

“I’m sorry Felix,” Oliver apologized.

Felix turned to his friend, “It’s alright mate, it’s not your fault.” He reassured.

☙☙☙☙

You and Felix were not speaking to each other. Just glaring at each other across the room. Venetia was confused and Farleigh was too busy worrying about his own situation to notice.

“What happened between you and Felix?” Venetia asked, one night before bed.

You huffed, “Nothing, I guess. We kissed last summer and now, well he doesn’t want me anymore.” You explained.

“I find that very hard to believe. He talks about you all the time when you aren’t here. And Farleigh said he couldn’t stop thinking about you during school,” she laughed.

This confused you. You wanted to confront Felix. Angry, you took the note. “Right, I’ll be back,” you told Venetia.

You practically stomped to Felix’s room that night, banging on the wooden door. Felix opened the door, his hair disheveled and only wearing his boxers and maroon robe.

“What do you want?” He asked coolly, leaning against the door.

You huffed, crossing your arms. “Don’t take that tone with me. You have been nothing but aggressive towards me this entire week. You won’t look at me, except when you glare. As if I’ve hurt you in some way,” you ranted.

Felix looked at you confused as you continued to speak. “Which is ridiculous, because you invited me to the garden. Not the other way around. I know you have loads of woman just lining up to fuck you. So I will do you the favor of fucking off,” you said, pushing the note into his hands.

You left in a huff and Felix was utterly quiet. He opened up the note and recognized the hand writing immediately.

Why would Oliver lie? He thought. Why did he pretend to be me and write you a note?

Felix walked next door and into Ollie’s bedroom. “Hey mate, I have a question.” He said, shortly.

Oliver looked up from his book, “Yes Felix?”

“That note that Y/n gave you. Did it look anything like this?” Felix said angry.

Oliver looked at the paper that he’d written and slipped under your door. He gulped. “I can explain,” Oliver said, albeit timidly.

“I don’t need an explanation Ollie, you’re a fucking liar. You took advantage of our feelings. Why would you do that?” Felix said.

Oliver couldn’t respond and when he didn’t, Felix left the room going out to try and find you.

You were crying on the bottom of the staircase, drinking a bottle of champagne that you’d snagged from the kitchen.

Coming down the stairs, Felix heard you and came to you quietly.

“Y/n, don’t cry,” Felix said. Hearing his voice, you stood up and turned around.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, wiping away your tears.

Felix walked towards you. His thumb landed on your cheek and wiped away a fallen tear. “I’m sorry about Ollie, he manipulated us. Told me that you wanted him. It made me jealous, because well…because I love you.”

You looked at him in surprise. Felix loved you. “You love me?” You asked, to which Felix nodded, a soft smile on his face. “And you aren’t seeing anyone?” You wanted clarification.

Felix furrowed his eyebrows in worry, “No, no im not. I only want to see you,” he said, leaning in incredibly close.

You nodded, “I love you too, very much,” you smiled softly, looking up into him.

In a heartbeat, Felix kissed you. At first it was soft and sweet. It became heated as you kissed him back. Felix moved his hand around your waist, to hold you up and close to him.

When you pulled away for air, Felix smiled softly. “I’ve been wanting to do that again since last summer. I don’t like it when you’re away. You’re mine, you know.” Felix smirked, pulling you into his hips.

“Am I now?” you grinned, liking the sound of him calling you his. Felix nodded, leaning into kiss you.

“Felix….” You heard Oliver say from the top of the stairs. Felix’s grasp on your waist tightened protectively. You both turned to Oliver.

“Go away Oliver,” Felix said warningly. You gave Oliver an angry look. You wished he would leave.

“I need to talk to you, Felix. We need to sort this out,” Ollie practically whined.

Felix shook his head, “I can’t have you here mate, it was a mistake inviting you.” He said.

☙☙☙☙

The next morning in a dramatic fashion Sir James and Elsbeth led Oliver out of the grounds. You, Felix, Venetia and Farleigh watched from the top of the staircase as it happened.

When the door closed, Sir James clapped his hands together. “Alright. The Henry’s are coming to dinner tonight, everything must be perfect.” He said.

[rboooks]

DP x DC: Child Support

John Constantine has done a lot in his life. Some good, some bad but most have been dangerous.

He sold his soul to as many powerful beings as he could so that they could fight each other over it and keep him in a safe-ish stalemate. It was a risk, one where he had to sweet talk, maneuver, and sometimes seduce his way through, but he's always come on top.

Waking to his wards broken as easily as someone walking through a still river meant he had finally met his match. John woke to the Time looming over him in its adult form.

Clockwork, the physical concept of Time, smashed into a body and consciousness. It's so rare to see the god outside his tower; to even be in his presence was such a high honor that families would keep proof of the encounter for generations to brag about.

"Hello, Johnny," Clockwork said in his specialized adult form. The nickname curved with fondness. This form is an even rarer sight to behold. Clockwork looked about to be in his late twenties, dressed in a Victorian-era suit with dark black hair, he would look human were it not for his pure red eyes and time staff.

He looks gorgeous.

John smiled nervously. "Clockwork. What do I owe the pleasure?"

The ghost hums. "I have come to make a deal with you."

See, that's not something John would like to hear from the second-strongest being in the multiverse. He was second to the Ghost King. Some would even argue that Clockwork was stronger were it not for his desire to remain neutral in conflicts for the sake of different timelines.

"What kind of deal?" John asks with a lustful grin, running his eyes up and down Clockworks form. It looks like he may have to seduce his way out of this again and hopefully could convince the god of Time that he was a great time in bed instead of dead once more

The Master of Time appears amused but unwilling to climb under the sheets with him. Bollocks, if he wasn't back for another month of pleasure then the deal would likely be unpleasant.

Even if Clockwork could be considered a past fling, there was no guarantee that he wouldn't ask for something harmful. John had less powerful exes who would gladly have him killed just as likely as they would key his car.

To make thinga worst, Clockwork reached into his gentleman jacket to pull out a small jar. John's heart leaped in horror at what was inside.

"I have collected every piece of your soul through challenges, purchases, or even offerings. I own you entirely, John Constantine," Clockwork said, his warm tan skin rippling into blue as the Ghost turned the jar this way and that. "I wish to return it to you, with my added protection, should the old contracts which you swindled will not seek out revenge in exchange, you must take responsibility."

John can barely breath "Responsibility of what?"

Clockwork gestures behind him, and out of the shadows step a human boy. A human boy that looks precisely like human-Clockwork as a teenager but with John's eyes and the shape of John's nose.

No.

He knows that despite how similar they look, Humans and the citizens of the Infinite Realms aren't biologically the same. He just didn't think that meant this.

That he could be so careless it resulted in this.

Clockwork waves a hand between them. "Jonny meet your son, Danny."

John choked as Danny awkwardly waved at him. He even stuffs his hands into his pockets the same way John would stuff his hands into his trench coat.

This can't be happening.

"Our son is half human, and it's unhealthy for humans to remain in the Infinite Releams for long periods. I now require you to raise him on Earth until his core is ready. The day our son is of age, you will have your soul back with my Infinite protection. Danny will take the throne of the Infinite Realms upon his marriage so do help him find a good suitor."

Clockwork considers the rapidly paling human with large amounts of glee. "I trust this would be acceptable? I must warn you, I have raised him outside of time, so he is a bit behind with modern technologies and references. He also has a ghost form he must use for his health. Oh, and, Danny has a peanut allergy, so keep that in mind for his meals. If anything were to happen to Danny while he lives with you, I would erase this entire place and not through time manipulation. I will simply kill everything. Keep you alive so I can kill every version of those you love across the multiverse in front of you. Try not to slip away from your child support to prevent that, yes?"

John faints.

Danny Fenton had to be removed from his dimension to erase Dan from existence. His future self had nearly escaped the Clock tower they couldn't risk a second time. Clockwork had told him removing him from his dimension, his timeline, would never allow Dan to exist. It broke his heart but to save the many lives that Dan took Danny had agree.

His friends and family were devastated even if Clockwork told them Danny would be allowed visits. Just nothing longer than a week and six months between visits. He had moved into Clockwork's haunt, becoming an assistant to the master of time. He helped weave timeliness, and suggested possible choices for various creatures of various situations across the multiverse.

Danny helped Clockwork control fate, if that wasn't ridiculous. He even tried his ghost powers, to the point he felt he could truelt match his mentor in a fight.

He spent two years like this- or two years in his home dimension. Time didn't move in Clockwork's tower so despite the amount of time he lived there Danny didn't look a day over fourteen still. It irked him like nothing else to see Tucker and Sam as sixteen year Olds while he still looked like he was a freshman.

(It also hurt to see them move on without him.)

However, due to his halfa status, his human side was starting to fall apart. He needed sun, food, sleep, and other humans. He would go mad otherwise, and none of this would matter if it resulted in Dan.

Clockwork couldn't put him back home. He couldn't even put Danny in an alternate timeline, for he could not be close to people he knew.

He had to go to one that had no various of anyone Danny knew. Thankfully the Infinite Releams is connected to plenty of places that fit the bill. All Clockwork had to do was twist a few small events, and boom, Danny Fenton would have a perfectly legal background with everything he need for survive.

If only his mentor wasn't such a michivious prankster.

" You want me to pretend to be your love child with some random magic guy?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Trust me Danny, it's going to be hilarious."

(Part 2)

[anantaru]

cw. none, reader is insecure, established relationship, gn! reader

you awkwardly brush away the dust from your clothes before reluctantly looking in the mirror, nervously shifting your weight from left leg to right leg as you inspect yourself, and perhaps on that day, you do not like what you see.

yes, it happens, you could not see a single thing, yet your legs refused to walk away from the sight of yourself.

well, maybe, you shouldn't be sad, it would only make yourself feel a lot worse, don't you think? although as you were to slowly let the negative notions grasp onto yourself like a dangerous virus eating away on its host, you notice two familiar arms wrap around your waist as you feel the comfortable warmth of diluc's chest pressed against your back.

diluc ragnvindr was always like this, without great effort, noticing whenever you aren't feeling your best.

he rests his head in the nook of your neck and breathes in, a long inhale of air gathering in his lungs before he exhales through his parted mouth, "hey, you're so beautiful, you know that?" he whispers with a gentle smile that touched the deepest parts in your heart as blood rushes to your cheeks at the compliment.

his lips shortly place a warm kiss at the curve where your neck connects to your shoulder, speaking to you without requiring words, yet doing it distinctly enough like chords do from the string, "i find myself looking at you, all the time."

with love so sudden and sweet, it takes you by storm, his gentle kisses seemingly hearing the silent, negative voice in your head as he knows how to make you calm down and comfort you in the process.

curiously, your gaze swathes from your figure to his face, admiring the handsome features belonging to your boyfriend— those lips and those eyes, reaching your soul when it feels out of sight.

he does it flawlessly, loving you of course, because diluc loves you to the depth and breadth and height, with a passion entirely put to use.

it pains him when he sees you saddened. when all he sees is a beauty of cloudless climes and starry skies— your smile that shows him what home looks like, or the addiction of your lips, the glow in your eyes.

hey, you hear? you need to focus.

because my dear, you're perfect you see, you cannot not be.

because perfection ultimately lies in the imperfection of it all, the uniqueness, the individuality and kindness.

and even when you cannot see it at all today, all of it will forever bloom like the sweetest flower on your face.

©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own