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moonyswritinq · 5 days

Note

charles x american!reader? inspo from the song so american by olivia rodrigo? like him just making fun of an american accent lol

so american — charles rowland x gn reader

❝ SO AMERICAN ❞

SYNOPSIS ➢ Headcanons for Charles with an American reader, based on Olivia Rodrigo’s song ‘So American’.

PAIRING ➢ charles rowland x american gender neutral reader

CONTENT WARNING ➢ pining, banter, implicit sex, ish-canon timeline, no use of y/n

WORD COUNT ➢3.3 k

AUTHORS NOTE ➢ I didn’t know if you wanted a one shot or headcanons, but I felt like this would best fit as a mix of the two. I sort of got carried away. thank you for the request and hope you enjoy!

And if you do enjoy, I URGE you to like, reblog AND comment!!! It's so important to me as a writer.

MASTERLIST, TAG LIST

Drivin' on the right-side road He says I'm pretty wearin' his clothes And he's got hands that make Hell seem cold Feet on the dashboard, he's like a poem I wish I wrote I wish I wrote

Charles had a habit of taking everything lightly and making jokes to play off serious situations, something that could bother you at times.

The first time you met, for instance, was one of those times.

You were driving down the road of your little town and had to slam the brakes as to not run over the incredibly handsome, but incredibly stupid, boy that had just tried to cross the road.

You had honked at him and he looked up in surprise before immediately being pulled back by the hands of a red-headed girl. He broke out in a grin as you drove off with a scoff, internally cursing him.

The next time you saw him was only later that same day, surprisingly at your family friend’s, and the local butcher’s, shop.

You had walked in an immediately let out a sigh of annoyance, one of which he heard and turned around with that same grin plastered on his face.

“Well, if it isn’t the boy with a death wish,” you muttered, ignoring him and his friends to go up to the counter. Unluckily for you, Jenny was not there.

The boy scratched his neck bashfully. “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. Forgot you lot drive on the right side of the road, which is technically the wrong side of the road. Just wasn’t looking.”

An eyebrow raised in his direction. English.

He stepped forward with a hand outstretched. “The name’s Charles. Pleased to meet you.”

You took it as a shiver ran up your spine, weirdly so cold to the touch he felt warm. It was the first time you managed to get a proper look at him, admiring his stylish clothes and sharp features. And his eyes were as warm as his hand was, deep swirling pools of darkness that seemed to emit nothing but light. You smiled back, introducing yourself.

“Pleasure. And this is Edwin, Crystal, and Niko,” he introduced his friends behind him, who all gave you a smile except for the uptight-looking Edwin.

“Well, I’ll let you guys get back to it,” you said, turning back to the counter as Jenny came out. You handed her the keys to the car with a wink. “Thanks for letting me borrow your car, Jenny. Told you I would return it without a scratch.”

She raised a doubtful eyebrow. “That is left to be seen, kiddo.”

You were about to turn around just when you caught the end of the other teenagers’ conversation. “Did you guys just say ‘Point No Point?” you asked and swivelled around to face them.

Niko nodded enthusiastically, briefly glancing at the boys. “Yeah, we’re going there for a—um, to meet someone there.”

“That’ll take ages without a car,” you remarked.

Crystal sighed. “Well, I can’t drive. How are we gonna get there?”

Your lips lifted into the beginning of a smirk as you turned back to Jenny. She heaved a deep sigh and threw back the keys into your hands.

Your smile broke out as you thanked her and motioned for the others to follow you. “Come on, I’ll give you a ride.”

Charles insisted on sitting in the front seat beside you, his feet up on the dashboard, tapping his finger along to the music in the car. You thought it was oddly charming.

You had asked what their whole deal was and Niko had inevitably revealed that they were the Dead Boy Detectives and that Charles was, in fact, dead. Upon hearing it, you almost slammed the breaks again in pure shock but managed to keep driving as if nothing.

And he laughs at all my jokes And he says I'm so American

It also started raining on your way there, making you groan in frustration as you remarked that “all this water is going to get Jenny’s car so muddy.”

“‘Wa-der,’” he had chuckled under his breath.

In an instant, you had turned to him with a harsh glare. “What?”

“Nothing,” came his amused reply. “You’re just so American.”

It wasn’t nothing, though. It was the first of many remarks against your American accent.

You had arrived at the lighthouse and very warily gotten out of the car. Somehow you had gotten roped up in their case and was now there to help them out through the end.

Charles had noticed your shivering in the cold rain and offered you his jacket which, despite ghost physics, was quite heavy and warm. You supposed ghosts couldn’t really get wet by normal rain, as both Edwin and Charles seemed unbothered by it.

You had tried to argue against taking it, claiming that you wouldn’t want to ‘strip him of any of his Britishness’, to which he had only scoffed and heaved the thing onto you while saying, “so American of you to assume my Britishness can be stripped away merely by my coat.”

Charles had then given you an appraising look and, while the others were distracted by the ghosts on the pier, bent down slightly to say, “You look pretty wearing my clothes.”

Your cheeks had warmed immediately and you’d turned away to not give it away, earning a chuckle. It made you smile though.

He learnt quickly that complimenting you would earn him a blush and a soft nudge against his ribcage, which made him do it even more.

That was also when he liked pointing out your accent. It started as a small observation, but eventually evolved into insults and bits.

He did it every chance he got; saying ‘lit-er-ally’ with an over-exaggerated vocal fry; ‘aloominum’; ‘hey, y’all’; and, his absolute favourite of them all, ‘i’m walkin here!’. Half of them made you laugh incessantly and the other half made you drag a hand over your face in frustration.

The worst was when he would parrot you personally, making you half wondering if you should be ashamed of your accent. When you had asked him about it, though, he had been quick to assure you that he loved your accent.

And that was when you started doing it back to him.

It became a game for the two of you, often just imitating each other’s accents.

“Are you ‘schewpid’?” you asked, turning to him.

He chuckled dryly, cocking his head in your direction. “Yeah, yeah, while you’re throwing insults at me I am just going to go grab a ‘kawfee’.”

You scoffed. “You’re a ghost, Charles. You can’t have coffee.”

“I can, but it just tastes disgusting.”

“Okay, well, while you’re at it, ‘kan I please ‘ave a cupa wa’a’?” you said, meeting his defiant gaze before he burst out in laughter. It made your insides warm knowing you were the cause of that laugh.

“Would you two please stop it?” came Crystal’s irritated reply. Edwin only rolled his eyes at your antics but you knew he agreed with Crystal’s discontent. You caught Charles’ gaze and broke out in a smile.

“I don’t know,” said Niko, fiddling with her fingers, “I think it’s cute when they do that.”

And just like that, you both fell silent and turned away from each other.

Oh, God, it's just not fair of him To make me feel this much I'd go anywhere he goes

You knew you liked him, a lot. But you hadn’t dared admit anything to him or anyone else and tried your best to hide it—not that you were doing a very good job.

The only thing that knew what you felt were the thrown-away poems you had written on a whim, his beaming face starkly imprinted in your mind.

You didn’t think it was fair for him to make you feel that much, enough to actually write poems about him. God, you were whipped (Charles would have definitely made fun of your using that word if he heard it).

You came with the Dead Boy Detectives on all their cases, now an honorary member in their Detective Agency. You enjoyed a lot of detective stories, like Sherlock Holmes and so seemingly had absorbed some of it, because you were quite good at figuring out clues.

It was all practically worth it to see Charles' smile directed at you after you had discovered something.

God, I'm so boring, and I'm so rude Can't have a conversation if it's not all about you The way you dress, and the books you read

And despite it all, you didn’t feel quite enough for him. He was a charismatic and vibrant person, while you thought of yourself as quite rude and boring.

Sometimes you wondered if you were too harsh in your remarks at Charles’ britishness, but then remembered his always-present smile that met your gaze and your worries fell away.

Nothing had happened up until that point, but it became increasingly more difficult denying anything being between you two.

Even Edwin started catching on and asking if something was between you two, which lead to some very awkward silences where Charles would drag Edwin away with an apologetic smile thrown your way.

Until finally it got too difficult to deny.

Niko would ask you something about a case and somehow you would end up talking about Charles’ smile, his eyes, the way he dressed and what he was interested in. She finally got so sick of it and decided to just call you out on it.

“You like Charles.”

You opened your mouth to protest but she put a finger against your lips, causing you to be too stunned to speak.

“And don’t say that you don’t, because it’s obvious,” she said, removing her finger.

“It’s not that obvious, is it?” you asked. You refused to meet her gaze and instead tried to look anywhere but her.

“Yes, it is.” She sighed, bringing her hands up to clasp your shoulders. “We all know it. Even Charles. But he won’t admit it either, so please go talk to him before we all die.”

You rolled your eyes, but felt a small smile start to form on your lips. “OK, just a little dramatic there?”

Niko shook her head with a serious expression on her face. “No. Now go find him.”

She had shooed you away after that, making sure that both Edwin and Crystal were distracted enough so that you could slip out to talk to Charles privately.

You found him in the other room, rooting through his backpack to find something ridiculously large, no wonder.

And he says I'm so American Oh, God, I'm gonna marry him If he keeps this shit up I might just be in lo-lo-, lo-lo-, lo-lo-, lo-lo-lo-lo-love

He seemed to have heard your footsteps as you were coming in because he tilted his head in your directing, flashing his trademark smile.

The sight of it made you swoon and you had to take a deep breath in order to collect your thoughts. When he finally asked what was up, your words came out jumbled and very much not like you had planned them to come out.

“Hey, hey,” he said, taking ahold of your shoulders and meeting your nervous gaze with his steady one. “Take a deep breath. C’mon, breathe with me.”

You did as he said, breathing with him, trying and failing to ignore the shivers that spread along with his touch. When you had collected yourself, he smiled and let go, much to your disappointment.

“That’s it. Now, what’s on your mind?” he asked.

You strode past him, opting to face the window instead of seeing his face. It only made it harder to get out any coherent sentences. “Why’d you think anything was on my mind?”

“Well,” remarked Charles, strolling after you, “it’s not everyday you storm in here as if the world is ending and then end up babbling like a stroke patient.”

You stared at him in horror before rolling your eyes. “Stop being so British, Charles.”

“Sorry, no can do, love.”

“That’s the problem, isn’t it?” you muttered to yourself.

“What?” he asked immediately, striding right in front of you so he could look you in the eyes.

“Look,” you started, refusing to meet his eye and instead looking anywhere else. Although, you could feel his gaze burning into your skull. “I might have developed some… feelings for you.”

Charles’ eyes widened at your words and you tried to turn again but he grabbed your shoulder to hold you in place. You sighed and finally met his gaze. His eyes were the same mysterious pools of darkness that you were used to, but you might have fooled yourself to imagine something else in them—something hopeful.

You decided to continue your confession because you were far past the point of redemption and might as well get it all out in one go.

“And the problem is, Charles, that however hard I try not to, I keep developing feelings for you. Even your annoying habits and antics cause me to fall for you. And, I swear to God, that if you keep this shit up I’m going to be properly gone for you.”

You waited a breath for his reaction, but when nothing came you were forced to ask him again. “Charles?”

“Uh, yeah,” he stammered out, his voice suddenly dry and cracked. “Sorry, I—uh, I was not prepared for that.”

You shrugged. “That’s alright. We’ll just go back to being friends. Nothing needs to change.”

He shook his head violently. “That’s absolutely not OK.”

You had but a moment to be surprised before he went in for the best kiss you had had yet in your short life. He held you like he had never touched anything before in his life and kissed you like he was a dying man and you were the cure. You weren't sure how much of it he could feel, but the psychological effect was immediate and mind blowing.

He may be dead but he had never felt more alive than in that moment.

I really love my bed, but, man, it's hard to sleep when he's with me When he's with me

Your relationship escalated quickly after that first kiss. You didn’t define it as anything, but it made you happier just knowing he was there by your side—and you could all him yours.

And you wasted no time in physically progressing your relationship—AKA you did not get much sleeping done.

It was a different kind of vulnerable, allowing yourself to give your soul and body to Charles, and him trusting you with himself.

Because of his being a ghost, it felt like so much more an emotional and psychological experience which only made you appreaciate it, and him, more.

By the looks of it, he enjoyed it as well—more than enjoyed it. He couldn’t stop smiling at you afterwards, while he laid on the bed beside you and gazed at you with half-dazed eyes.

Charles let himself curl around you, embracing you. You weren’t sure if ghosts could get tired, but nonetheless he whispered out a, “I’m knackered.”

You had nuzzled into the crook of his neck. “You’re so British.”

He kissed your forehead softly, and you felt it more than you had ever felt him before. “And you’re so American.”

You only chuckled and let yourself drift off to sleep in his arms holding you close.

You never wanted to get out of bed or leave him, and he utilised that fact to his every advantage.

He did everything he could to keep you in bed with him, even though he probably didn’t sleep much, just wanting to hold you close.

It wasn’t fair how easy he made your heart melt.

I apologize if it's a little too much, just a little too soon But if the conversation ever were to come up I don't wanna assume this stuff But ain't it love? I think I'm in love

It didn’t take long for you to know that it wasn’t merely affection you felt for Charles, but something much deeper.

You didn’t want to presume Charles felt anything close to what you felt, though.

So you continued acting like whatever the two of you were—kissing and hooking up—not quite a couple but not quite friends with benefits, but something in between that went deep between you two.

Without any real definition for what you two were, it frightened you out of saying anything to him.

So you kept going with the featherlight kisses, the quiet giggles after one of you said a joke and were trying to cover it up as to not disturb the rest of the group, and the endless nights where you could be in his arms and have not a care in the world.

But it was on your mind, constantly.

Oh, how you just wished to say those three words to him, to just have it out in the open. So he could have you with the truth staring into his face and do with you what he pleased.

You wanted to splay yourself open for him, vulnerable and unafraid, show him yourself and let him love you back with the same ferocity with which you loved.

And finally, it became too much.

He was on his way out for one of the cases, one of which you chose not to go with them to. He had just collected all his belongings in that backpack of his and went in for a goodbye kiss.

“Be careful,” you whispered between parted lips, leaving the ghost of your words on his mouth. He smiled through it and pulled away.

“Always am,” came his cheeky reply, winking at you before turning to the door. “Bye.”

“Bye,” you called, and then, without thinking, “Love you.”

It took a mere moment for his brain to register your words before he halted and slowly turned in his step.

“What?”

Your own eyes widened in surprise of yourself and you were quick to come up with a way to play it off as a mistake or a stumble upon your words. But he crossed the distance between you with long strides, dropping his backpack and bringing his hands up to hold your cheeks tenderly.

“What did you just say?” he whispered, eyes shifting back and forth between yours trying to find the truth in your words. Your mouth fell agape, but you couldn’t find the words to tell him again, so close now so that you could feel his short breaths of air on your skin. “Please,” he said again, voice so soft you had to strain to hear him.

“I mean, it might be a little too much, too soon, and I don’t want to assume anything, but..” Your voice trailed off, breaking. Your lips fought to form the words that so desperately wanted to make their way out of you. “But I—I love you, Charles.”

He breathed out huge sigh of relief and captured your lips with his. “I love you too,” he whispered between breaths, barely audible.

Your smile could not be hindered as he kissed you back, fiercely and passionately. He kept pressing kisses on your mouth, on the corner of your lips, trailing to your cheeks, to your neck, down to your shoulders and your chest. All the while he kept repeating those same three words, “I love you,” over and over again, pressing them into your skin. Into your soul, essentially.

Your hands were grasped in his hair, fingers curling around his locks as you felt every touch of his lips that brought forth a shiver down your spine. Not from the coldness, though, but from the feeling of his soul connecting to yours.

He kept pressing featherlight kisses to you with small ‘I love you’s, and you couldn’t fight the laugh that escaped its way through you.

“Okay, stop it” you whispered, pulling his head away to grasp his face in your hands. You met his eyes with a smile and his beaming grin made your insides melt. “I love you so much, Charles.”

He laughed, pressing another kiss to your lips. “I love you too.”

“Now, come on, you got a case to solve.”

Charles let himself be lead away to the others, refusing to let go of your hand. He even pressed kisses to the back of it every chance he got, and you were roped into going to the case with the rest of them, if only not to leave Charles’ side.

Tag list: @a-gay-dumbass @eunxhan @loverclear @shobolanya @edit-me-prettyplease @bookholichany @heartsfromcoco @scriblezz

#moonyswritinq #dead boy detectives #dead boy detective agency #dead boy detective spoilers #charles rowland #charles rowland x reader #charles rowland x gn reader #x reader #x male reader #x gn reader #dbd #dbd fanfic #dbd x reader #dead boy detectives x reader

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half-oz-eddie · 8 months

Text

Steve hated ordering food. He had terrible ordering anxiety. Thank god for DoorDash, kiosks and other various apps the overwhelming world of technology offered, that no longer forced him to talk to complete strangers. He’d been taking speech therapy for months because he mumbled and had trouble enunciating his words. He was terribly insecure about speaking in public. His therapist said he was making progress, though.

Recently, a small coffee shop opened up near his house, likely mom and pop owned. It was never crowded, the staff was a small handful of people—two guys and three girls.

Steve wanted to sit in this quaint coffee shop and read his favorite magazine (a physical copy, of course.) Ebooks took away the stimulating pleasure of page flipping, so Steve had to go out and get a copy on the 5th of every month.

With his magazine in hand, he stood outside of the coffee shop, staring at the specials in the window, then scrolling through his phone, searching for the option to order online.

…There wasn’t one.

“Oh man.” Steve sighed to himself. He really really wanted to go inside. He rocked back and forth, humming and tapping his thumb on the side of his phone…contemplating.

It wouldn’t be that hard, right? Just go inside, order a…well nothing too complicated. Maybe a cookie Frappuccino? Simple enough. Sounded tasty. He loved cookies. They were his comfort snack.

He took a deep breath, told himself to be brave, walked inside and took a look around. It wasn’t too bright, the music wasn’t too loud. It was quiet and ambient. Nothing to trigger sensory overload like the other coffee shops. This was nice.

“Hey, can I help you?”

Steve turned his attention to the barista, following his warm, welcoming voice. His eyes were so blue, he observed, before pointedly looking away.

“Uh…can I get a…medium cookie Frappuccino?”

“Name?”

“Steve.”

“You got it.”

Steve fixated on his magazine, waiting for his order.

“Here ya go.”

Steve grabbed the cup, a disappointed frown forming on his face when he read the name on the cup.

Who the hell was “Stan”?

The barista smirked at him, and he forced a smile in return, before finding a table in the back of the coffee shop.

Maybe his speech therapy wasn’t working. Maybe the barista misheard his name because he’s still mumbling.

Maybe he was just nervous.

The Frappuccino was delicious. He planned to try again tomorrow.

The next day was the same. His name was written incorrectly on the cup again!

This time, the barista wrote “Steele”

‘God, I’m such an idiot. Why can’t I say my name right?!’

The third times a charm, hopefully…

Steve went home and practiced saying his name loud and clearly.

“Steve. Steeeve. My name is Steve.”

He recorded himself saying his name and played it back.

It sounded nice and clear to him. He even called his friend Robin who told him he sounded very clear, then wished him good luck.

The big day arrived. This time, he’d make sure the barista heard him clearly.

“Hi!” He greeted in a slightly raised voice, then glanced at the barista’s name tag. “Billy!”

“Hey…want your usual again?”

“Yes!”

“Ookay…”

“Steve. My name is Steve.”

“I know your name, Steve. Why are you talking so loud?” The barista narrowed his blue eyes.

“Because you kept…writing the wrong name on my cup. I thought I was mumbling. I do that. A lot. Bad habit.”

“No—I heard you. I was just teasing you because I think you’re cute. Thought you’d give me shit for it, maybe correct me and then I could comeback with something sly and give you my number. Had it all planned out in my head but you’d just take your cup and sit down. I figured you weren’t interested.” He shrugged.

Steve furrowed his brows, then laughed. “I had no idea what you were doing. I just thought you couldn’t hear me.”

“Sorry about that. I could hear you. And…I’d like to hear you more often. Maybe we can exchange numbers?”

“I’m really not that good with phone calls. Do you like texting?”

Billy shook his head. “I’m not good with texts. Can’t really pick up on tone that well. I suck at it.”

“But…what if I mumble or-or flub my words a lot? Or ramble?” Steve asked worriedly.

“Steve, you’re so cute, I could listen to you say a whole lot of nothing for hours. Plus, I’m a great listener.” He leaned forward on the counter, making Steve’s heart race when Billy’s hand briefly brushed against his. “And I could hear a pin drop. Just gimme a chance?”

Steve nodded with a wide grin. “Okay.”

“Yeah?” Billy was elated.

“Yeah.”

“Still want that frap?”

“I do. It’s really good.”

“Whose name should I write on the cup? Sterling?” Billy teased.

“Stop it!” Steve laughed, relieved to know it was a joke, and not his own fault.

“Hey, can I join you? I’m about to take a break.”

“Sure. I like to sit here and read magazines. I have an extra car magazine if you’re interested.“

“You kidding?” Billy smirked. “I fucking love cars. I’ll be right with you.”

Steve sat at his usual table, excitedly rubbing his hands together.

Turns out, that speech therapy worked a lot better than he thought.

#autistic harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove fanfiction #ivy.doc #caliscoops.doc

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hanjisungs-bigtittyg0thgf · 11 months

Text

Awaken

changbin x felix

Trigger warnings: none that i can think of but please feel free to correct me if i missed anything!

Content warnings: names (baby, good boy, angel, sweetheart, pretty boy, tiny baby), a little biting, mirrors, slight hair pulling, size kink (kinda?), oral, begging, cum sharing, praise, very brief mutual masturbation, very brief finger fucking, verbal teasing, hand holding, anal, a hint of a breeding kink, belly bulge, desperate lix, ass slapping, mild dacryphilia, one (1) dry orgasm (idk it was hot to me lmao)

Summary: changbin fell in love with his best friend, felix, and now felix wants to be his first guy.

Word count: 9332

A/N: so this is written from changbin’s pov and it is actually the first ship fic i wrote (at least the first ship fic i’ve written since high school). i actually wrote it before asking for pride fic requests last year and contemplated keeping it for myself or putting it on my ko-fi but felt it was too good not to share. and ofc i had to go with the classic friends to lovers trope because that’s just the kind of person i am lmao anyways i’m almost done with my next pride piece and i’m working on the three requests i received! i hope you all enjoy this and please feel free to give a follow! be sure to drop your feedback in the comments and please look forward to what i’ve got in store for you!! also i’m revamping my tag list so please submit an ask, send a message, or leave a comment if you’d like to be added to that! thank you all for your support <3

I don’t remember when it started or even how it started, if I’m honest. I just know that one day I woke up and the first thought on my mind was how pretty Felix would look with a morning blush. I’d had passing thoughts about his beauty so I paid it no mind, I was comfortable enough in my sexuality to recognize an attractive man when I saw one. Then the dream came rushing back and flooded my senses. I felt guilty as images of my best friend writhing around beneath me appeared in my mind.

I remember thinking “What the fuck was that? I’m not even gay. Why did I dream about fucking my best friend? And why am I hard?”

I remember being disgusted with myself as I rubbed one out in the shower, visions of Felix with his eyes squeezed shut and his jaw hanging open as he cried my name swimming in my vision. I remember icing him out for a few days, afraid he’d somehow know I’d had a wet dream starring him. I remember being terrified and ashamed of what I was feeling. That dream made me reconsider my sexuality.

Over the course of a year, I’d fought with my feelings for him and tried to ignore both my crush and my sudden shift in sexual preference. But he made it so much easier. I never told him who was making me feel these things but he made me feel safe. He helped me figure things out. He knew something was wrong when I started avoiding him at first and when I finally confided in him, he was nothing short of an angel. He stayed up with me several nights when I was having a hard time coming to terms with my sexuality and he assured me nothing was wrong with me. He told me that he’d had the same struggle a few years ago and he took his time to accept it but once he finally did, it felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders.

I followed his lead and allowed him to show me what it meant to truly embrace who I am. He even took me to my first gay bar. I don’t remember much about that night to be honest. I remember getting there and ordering a few shots; remember Felix suggesting a mixed drink. But that’s about it.

I woke up the next morning in his bed, wearing only my boxers. I was mortified but he took it all in stride and when I shuffled into his kitchen, he offered me a smile and a plate of pancakes before telling me he’d washed my clothes because I got sick right outside his apartment building. I was horrified and ashamed - less so when I found out we hadn’t fucked, but still embarrassed - but he was so kind and I found myself getting flustered every time he offered me a smile over breakfast. I was acutely aware of my nakedness in that moment but he paid it no mind. At least that’s what I told myself when his eyes lingered just a little too long on my ass while I took my plate to the sink.

That had become routine over the last year- the clubbing, not the puking and waking up naked at his place. I’d grown comfortable with myself again and had simply accepted that I had feelings for my best friend. That I have feelings for my best friend. As in, present tense. They never went away and I learned to be okay with it.

This leads to my current predicament. I’m a confident man. I’m aware that I’m good looking. Sometimes I turn myself on. Maybe that’s conceited but who’s it really hurting? Because of this, I sometimes take pictures or record myself jacking off. My camera roll is full of dick pics and videos of me begging for Felix to come ride me.

And now Felix is looking at me expectantly from his position beside me on my bed, both of us slumped against the headboard. “Oh come on! Lemme see how it turned out!” He nudges my shoulder with his as his smile betrays him. He is pretending to be exasperated but he can’t pull it off. We’ve just taken a photo together with some dumb filter and he wants to look at it. Except he’s been known to scroll a bit before and I’m afraid he’ll find the video I recorded only a few hours earlier. “Pretty please?” He resorts to pouting and begging and my heart flips at the way his bottom lip pokes out.

I can’t say no when he looks at me like that and he seems to know since he always does it to get his way. I usually don’t mind indulging him but I’m anxious as I hand him my phone. “Fine. But don’t scro-”

“OH MY GOD THAT'S YOUR DICK-” He shouts as he drops the phone in surprise and my face feels like I’ve just opened the oven without leaning back first; I’m on fire. I try to grab my phone from where it landed on his chest but he gives me an evil smirk and holds it out of reach. “Who’s it for? Did you finally get on one of those dating apps I suggested?”

“Absolutely not. I-”

“So why do you have dick pics?”

“Do you not?”

“Not my dick pics.”

My eyes widen a bit and I look away, embarrassed by my train of thought. How many guys had sent him nudes and how many did he save? I’m not sure I want to know. I shake my head and hold my hand out. “Give it back, dude.”

He ignores me and scrolls through the photos of me fisting my cock before he finally stumbles upon the video. I jump to grab my phone, panicking this time, but it’s too late. We both go silent as my voice calling his name fills the room and I can see his cheeks reddening. After a moment I snap out of my trance and snatch my phone back, clearing my throat awkwardly. “That wasn’t for you…”

Felix, of course, throws another curveball at me and I have to force myself not to physically shudder at his tone. “Clearly it was for me, you were moaning my name while you fucked your fist.” I’d never heard him say anything so…nasty before. He usually keeps things pretty PG.

“Lix, don’t-”

“Was it me?” He suddenly asks as he sits up. His tone isn’t accusatory or panicked so I take it as a good sign and let out a sigh as I nod. I know what he’s asking.

“Yeah. You were the one I had that dream about.” I rake a hand through my hair and look away. “Look, I don’t want things to be weird, Lix, can we please just pretend this never happened?”

“Nope.” He pops the ‘p’ and I sigh once more. “I had my suspicions, you know.” His voice is gentle as his small hand comes to rest on my shoulder. “I wasn’t oblivious to it. I just wanted things to unfold on their own. I didn’t want to push you when you were still coming to terms with everything, but I knew.”

My face is on fire yet again and it only gets worse when he pushes me back against the headboard and straddles my waist. His usually-inviting gaze is dark now, hooded as he looks down at me from his position on my lap. His freckles seem to stand out more with the soft blush dusting his cheeks. When his lips part, I immediately give him all my attention - as if he didn’t already have it. I hang on to his every word. I always have.

“I’ve thought about it too, you know.” His voice is a low rumble and it makes my head spin. “I’ve thought about how you sound; about how you taste, how you feel. I’ve spent so much time thinking about it and wondering if I was the man you dreamt about.” My dick twitches to life in my athletic shorts, though I’m terrified to admit I’m getting hard over this.

He’s leaning in close now and my heart is hammering in my chest. “I’m tired of just thinking about it, Binnie…” He whispers, his hands sliding from my shoulders, down my chest and abs as he leans closer to whisper in my ear. My muscles jump under his touch. I’ve always been pretty sensitive but it seems I’m even more responsive when it comes to him. “I wanna act on it.” His teeth ever so gently clamp down on my earlobe and my hands fly to his hips.

“Lix-” my voice is strained, surprising even me. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how he manages to work me up without even trying. My fingers dig into the material of his loose sweats as a wave of arousal crashes over me. Before I can speak, he grinds his ass down on my semi and I can’t suppress the low groan I let out.

“I know you wanna act on it too, Binnie.” He whispers by my ear before allowing his tongue to soothe the area he’d just bitten. “I know you’re watching me in that mirror right now too.” He adds as his plump lips trail along my jaw and I have half a mind to deny it but that desire flees with his next question. “Do I look pretty on top like this?” His teeth rake over my skin and my grip on his hips tightens yet again as I watch him in the mirror that hangs over my bed.

“Fucking stunning, Lixie.” I rasp out, squeezing his hips as he sets a slow, steady pace. The sound he lets out at both the name and my touch makes my heart pound. I don’t watch him much longer, opting instead to turn my face towards his neck and press a series of kisses there, nipping at his skin after the final one. He fucking whimpers and my dick throbs against his ass.

But then he pulls away and sits up. I watch him in confusion, almost pouting when he pushes my hands away. “I can’t take it.” He whispers as he whips his shirt off. “I need you. Right now.” He looks back down at me, his warm blonde hair hanging in front of his eyes. He pushes it out of his face before reaching for the hem of my shirt.

I let him start to undress me, growing amused at just how frantic he’s becoming. “Relax, baby. We have all the time in the world.” I tease, flashing a smirk at him as I reach for him again. I pull him into me and he squeaks in surprise as our bare chests meet, his hands flying to my biceps. I can’t help but flex a bit. He whispers a soft ‘hi’, which I return as my fingers begin to trace circles on his back. He looks so pretty when he shudders at my touch.

I grow serious after a moment. I’ve never been with a man before. I’ve had plenty of sex but it’s been about a year since the last time and that time was with a woman because I was actively trying to deny my feelings for him. It’s not that I’m afraid or uncomfortable, I just need him to take it slow so I can learn his body; learn how he likes to be touched and how this actually works.

He can sense this. His eyes widen a bit, which is fucking adorable given his flushed cheeks, and he lets his hands slide up my arms to rest on my shoulders. “Am…am I your first?” I give a slight nod and his expression grows fond, a soft smile settling on his thick lips. “I’ll try to be patient.” He teases and both of us give a soft chuckle before my arms tighten around his waist.

“Can…” I start and bite my lip pensively. Should I ask for his permission? I mean, surely he won’t mind it since he initiated everything. Still, I ask. “Can I kiss you, Felix?”

His nod is almost imperceptible but I see it. He doesn’t make a move to lean in and I move one arm from his waist. Everything is still as we stare at each other, my free hand coming up to his face. I brush my knuckles along his jaw and he shivers, his breath hitching as I lean up towards him and let my hand cup his jaw. “I’ve spent so much time thinking about this.” I mimic his previous statement when we’re only a centimeter apart and his lips curl up into a soft smile before I bring my own lips to meet his.

It feels like the stars have aligned. Everything feels right when I’m kissing him. He tastes like the blue raspberry lollipop he was sucking on earlier - distractingly, might I add - but I’m certain he’d be just as sweet without the lingering taste of candy. I swipe my tongue over his bottom lip and he lets out yet another whimper, making my dick twitch again.

He slowly pulls back for air and I peek out at him, noticing a tiny smile on his lips again. “You taste like candy.” I whisper and he lets out a soft giggle, making my heart melt.

“So do you.” He whispers back. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.” He adds before crashing his lips back to mine. His hands are on my neck now, his thumbs resting just in front of my ears as he splays his fingers out on my feverish skin. This kiss is more urgent, more passionate. I let my hand move to the back of his head and suck in a deep breath as he nips at my lip. His hips begin to move again and the hand I’ve tangled in his sunny tresses becomes a fist.

His elbows are tucked in and it almost feels like he’s trying to make himself smaller. Does he like to feel small? I almost melt over how endearing he is but I manage to hold myself together. I can make him feel small and cared for.

I can’t help but give his hair a soft tug as I sweep my tongue into his mouth. He lets out the prettiest whine and reaches one hand between us, palming at the front of my shorts as he stills his hips. He’s growing frantic again and I can tell he’s desperate to be touched right now.

He doesn’t let me explore his mouth for too long, instead urging my head back so he can trail kisses along my throat. His lips work down my neck and just as I release his waist so I can slip a hand into his sweats, he begins his descent down my body. Molten lava fills my veins and I freeze in place when his lips trail down my chest while his hands make quick work of my shorts. He doesn’t tug my boxers down just yet, opting to tease me through the thin material. After lifting my hips for him, I look down at him.

I watch as he settles on his belly between my legs and admires the strain in my boxers. He props himself up on one elbow while he runs his free hand along my thigh. He turns and presses a kiss to my other thigh, dangerously close to my dick. “Lixie-” I hiss and he simply hums, allowing his lips to press more tender kisses to my skin and then the material of my boxers. He looks drunk now.

His hand rests on my hip as he begins to mouth at my barely-concealed hard-on and I let out a low groan. He leaves a series of sloppy kisses on the front of my boxers before closing his lips around my clothed tip. I suck in a ragged breath at the sensation and let my head fall back against the headboard with a dull thud. “Felix, please-” I sigh.

I don’t know why I anticipated him to refuse and continue teasing me, but that’s not what happens. He instantly gets up on his knees and urges me to lift my hips, which I do with no hesitation. My cock springs free from its confinement and I hiss slightly. I lift my head with all the strength I can muster and watch him settle back in before wrapping a small hand around my dick.

Something in me is screaming that I need to watch, to take in every second of his attention on me, but it’s becoming hard to hold my head up. The anticipation is driving me up the wall. My breathing is ragged as he gives a few strokes before making eye contact and wrapping his lips around my angry red head. I let out a soft sigh as his tongue swirls around the tip and my eyes slip closed. It’s only just started but this is already the best head of my life.

Then he takes me as far as he can and I feel like I’m floating. The sound that escapes me is choked and draws an amused hum from him. I allow my head to fall back against the headboard once more, the thud much louder this time, but force my eyes open, watching in the mirror as he throats my dick. I take in the way his head bobs over my hips and how his back is arched ever so slightly with the way he’s propped up. I admire the way he has one leg hiked up while the other is stretched out straight.

Between the slurping sounds and the way he’s rutting against the bed, I feel like I’m going to combust. He pulls off to breathe but continues to jerk me and I feel a bubble of disappointment settle in my belly. I know why he stopped but fuck it felt so good. He presses a series of kisses to my hips and thighs as he catches his breath and I almost have the strength to look back down at him but then he swallows me whole again and I almost pass out.

He’s working faster now, with more vigor, and I can’t dream of containing the noises he seems so set on drawing out of me. “Fuck, Lixie, slow down-” I groan, tangling a fist in his hair. He lets out a whimper at the tug and I notice how he bucks his hips harder at the contact as I’m watching his reflection. “I won’t last-”

He pulls off and stops moving, staring up at me. “Look at me.” His voice is oddly demanding and I can’t bring myself to deny him. I lift my head and make eye contact. “Sit up. I want you to watch me make you cum.” I have half a mind to flip things and pin him down, to teach him a lesson for getting so bossy with me, but I let it slide because I’m admittedly desperate to feel his mouth back on my aching cock. I resituate myself without a word and he gives a satisfied sound. “Good boy.”

“Thin ice, Lixie.” I warn and he lets out a soft giggle.

“Worth a shot.” He hums before growing serious again. “I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve gotten off to the thought of sucking you off.” He sighs almost dreamily before taking the tip back in his mouth. He looks up at me as he hollows his cheeks and swirls his tongue yet again, his hand working the rest of my cock. It’s clear he’s set on making me cum before I get the chance to fuck him, before I have the chance to get him equally as worked up.

He’s about to have his way. The knot in the pit of my belly is dangerously close to unraveling and I can’t stifle the noises he’s drawing out of me.

That knot comes undone the second I feel his free hand move to fondle my balls. “Fuck-” I almost drop my head back but the desire to have this image burned in my mind is stronger. Wave after wave of arousal floods my body as I shoot my load into his mouth, his fingertips just barely teasing my balls. I watch as he swallows my cum, my body on fire as he continues to work my dick until I’m about to beg him to stop.

He pulls off right before I open my mouth to stop him and licks his lips. He doesn’t say anything, just pulls himself to his knees and moves up the bed to kiss me. My arms are around his waist and his hands rest on my neck like before. I taste myself on his lips and when I sweep my tongue into his mouth. I’m straining up to kiss him as he’s towering over me and part of me wishes he’d sit down instead of standing on his knees. I don’t voice this, opting instead to focus on how good it feels to be with him like this.

My hands trail along his back, my fingertips ghosting over his skin, and he shivers. How cute. I let my fingers dip past his waistband and he sucks in a shaky breath, not once pulling away from the kiss as I give his bare ass a squeeze. I push his sweats and boxers down in one go and he finally breaks the kiss, looking down between us as his cock springs free. He presses his forehead to mine as I reach between us and he gasps when my callused hand wraps around his dick, his jaw hanging slack.

I realize this is the first time in my life I’m touching a dick that isn’t mine and I feel like a curious teenager all over again. I give an experimental tug, touching him the way I like to be touched, and he whines softly. The sound goes straight to my cock and I decide I have to keep hearing it. It’s just too pretty. He’s just too pretty. “What do you want? Tell me what you like, baby.” I whisper and his breath hitches. I can’t tell if it’s because of the name or the way my hand is working his hard-on, but I’m beyond caring.

“Just- just want you, Bin…” he whispers back and I shake my head.

“You know what I mean, Lix.” I gently nudge him back so I can meet his gaze and his face is bright red. How fucking cute. “I can’t just go for it without you telling me what you like and what feels good. I’ve never slept with a guy before. All the experience I have means nothing in this context.” My voice is gentle, not scolding. He already looks flustered enough.

He nods and swallows thickly as he tries to form a coherent sentence. I know the way my hand is slowly jerking him is making his mind run blank. “I-I’ll show you how. Just…please don’t stop-” His words are cut short by a surprisingly high-pitched moan when I dig my thumb into the slit. “Fuck- definitely don’t stop.”

I can’t help but chuckle softly at his response, feeling empowered by his reaction. “You like it when I do that?” I tease and he nods vigorously. “Words, baby. Tell me, do you like it when I do that?” I may sound like an ass right now but I don’t really care. I’m feeling high from this and every sound he makes pushes me closer to losing myself. I want to hear him say it.

“Y-yes!” He moans out, ducking his face into my neck. “Yes, I love it when you touch me like that. Want you to do it again. Please?” He’s quiet, his voice muffled by my shoulder, but I hear him clearly. I can’t deny him anything. I’ve never been able to deny him anything, even before I was nursing a crush on him. I dig my thumb in again and he lets out a choked sound, bucking into my hand.

He whimpers in distress when I release his cock, his head snapping up from my shoulder with wide, bleary eyes. He looks entirely dazed and disappointed at the loss of contact. Confused even. I sooth him with a quick peck before pulling him against my chest and flipping us so he’s on his back.

He looks pretty staring up at me like this. He always looks pretty, of course, but I’ve wanted to see him under me for so long now. I stare back at him for a moment before ducking down to kiss him. He moves to wrap his arms around my neck but I gently pin his wrists to the bed and he lets out a soft groan.

My lips move to his jaw and I press a few soft kisses there before beginning my descent. I nip at his neck and press chaste kisses to his collarbones; allow my tongue to flick over his nipples, earning a tiny squeak. “Let me hear.” I pause, looking up at him. I can tell he’s holding back and I want to hear every sound he makes. He nods slowly and I peck the center of his chest. “Good boy.” He keens at the name and I grin to myself. “You like being called a good boy, don’t you Lixie?”

“Fucking love it…” He whispers, his head falling back against the headboard. He’s more slumped than I’d been so I can just barely see his face as I move down his body. “Wanted to hear you call me a good boy for so long.” He sighs, allowing himself to get lost in the sensation of my lips on his skin.

“Yeah?” He nods and hums out a soft ‘uh huh’. “I bet you were thinking about it while imagining blowing me, weren’t you?” He gives the same response and I let out a quiet laugh as my lips ghost over his abs. He’s got well-defined muscles, which is a pleasant surprise for anyone who is blessed to see him shirtless.

His dick twitches as I kiss his hips and he whines softly when I don’t immediately touch him. I’m somewhat nervous now as I settle on my stomach between his legs. Again, I’ve had plenty of sex, but never with a man. I’m curious. But I’m also so unsure of myself. I wrap my hand around the base of his cock and hesitantly lick the tip, propping on one arm the way he had only minutes prior.

He gasps softly at the sensation and I do it again, looking up to gauge his reaction. His eyes are screwed shut, his brow furrowed as he focuses on my touch. His lips are parted, allowing puffs of air and soft sounds of pleasure to escape. Slowly, carefully, I wrap my lips around the head of his cock and he lets out a whine so stunning I think I might just pass away.

“Please- more-” He gasps out and I tentatively flick my tongue. “J-just like that…” he whispers, assuring me I’m doing this right. I repeat my actions over and over, my hand working the rest of him, until he’s a worked up, whining mess. I pull off briefly and his head snaps up, his eyes flying open. Before he can ask why I stopped, I lock eyes with him and allow a thick string of drool to drip down from my mouth and onto the tip of his cock before spreading it around with my hand. He whimpers helplessly at the sight and I feel his dick throb in my hand.

Without breaking eye contact, I take him back in my mouth with more confidence than before and set out to finish him off. I want to taste more of him. I ease myself down his cock, taking him as far as I can manage before gagging a bit. He’s nodding at me now, assuring me I’m doing a good job, and my mind runs blank. All I can think about is making him feel good. I finally have him right where I want him - under me - and I’m determined to make this worth it for him.

I repeat my actions over and over until he’s desperately tugging at my hair and bucking his hips. Every time he shoves his cock down my throat, I gag around him and he lets out another pretty moan. He’s losing himself now and I feel powerful yet again. Then he starts begging.

“Please- oh my fucking god- ‘m gonna cum-” He moans out, letting his head fall back against the headboard.

Immediately, I pull off his drooling dick and repeat his previous statement, though my tone is much more demanding. “Look at me. I want you to watch me make you cum.” He lets out one of the most distressed sounds I’ve ever heard from him and quickly complies, propping himself up on one elbow so one hand is still free to tug at my hair. “Good boy.” I coo and take him back in my mouth.

His jaw hangs slack as his grip on my hair grows tighter and tighter to the point it’s painful. I love it. I find myself rutting against the bed just like he had earlier as I dig my tongue into the slit. The sound he lets out isn’t simply a moan, it’s a cry. He’s desperate for release now and he’s so, so sensitive. “A-again! Please- do it again-” He begs and I can’t dream of denying him.

The moment I repeat my actions, I feel his cum against my tongue. I take it all but I don’t swallow. I want him to get a taste of himself. I move up the bed as he comes down from his high and immediately press my lips to his, much like he’d done earlier. I gently grip his chin, urging him to open his mouth. He complies eagerly and I use my tongue to push his cum into his mouth, sharing it with him. We exchange it back and forth for a few seconds before I pull away and swallow what’s left.

“I don’t know what the fuck that was, but it was hot.” He giggles breathlessly and I chuckle softly. If I’m being honest, I don’t know what came over me just then, but it was one of the hottest things I’d ever done. I realize we’re staring at each other but I don’t dare move.

Things are still again, like when I asked to kiss him, except now he’s smiling up at me. We’re comfortable now, less on edge, but I’m far from done with him. I bring my hand to his face and run my thumb over his cheekbone as he leans into my touch, his eyes slipping shut. “You’re so pretty.” I whisper and his cheeks go a soft rose color.

“You’re prettier.” He whispers back, looking up at me. I chuckle and shake my head before he gently pushes me back. I sit up, slightly confused, and he rolls onto his side. I want to pin him back in place but I also have no clue what he’s doing. “You should really learn to put these things away.” He teases as he reaches for something on the other side of my bed.

It’s then that I realize I left my lube laying at the top of the pillow, tucked just far enough out of sight for me to forget its existence. It had slipped between the pillow and headboard, just barely peeking out. I let out a soft huff of laughter and move to take it but he playfully swats my hand away. “Sit.” He gestures to the headboard and I comply, moving to sit with my back against the cool wood.

I watch as he grabs a couple of pillows to recline on and pops the cap on the tube. “I’ve always wanted to put on a show for you…” he murmurs, his legs falling open as he squeezes some of the candy-scented lube onto his fingers to warm it up.

“How fitting. I’ve always wanted to watch you put on a show.” I smirk and he lets out a soft huff of laughter before whimpering quietly as his middle finger circles his entrance. His face scrunches up cutely as he slowly works himself up, soft sighs slipping past his pillowy lips.

After a few minutes of teasing, he carefully presses his middle finger into himself and makes yet another beautiful sound. God I wish I were the one touching him like that. Maybe he’ll let me…

“Fuck, baby, you look so pretty like this…” I groan, watching as he finger fucks himself open for me. I wrap a hand around my dick and watch as he tries not to get too far ahead of himself.

“Yeah? How pretty?” He whimpers, adding a second finger as he looks at me. I see his cock twitch upon the realization that I’m enjoying what he’s doing and my gaze lifts to his face.

“So fucking pretty, baby. The prettiest.” His jaw drops and he lets his head tip back. It’s interesting to see just how much my words affect him.

Then he lets out a whine of frustration. “Can’t reach-” he huffs and I’m all too eager to offer assistance.

“Want me to take over, angel?” Stars fill his eyes at the name as he nods enthusiastically, immediately pulling his hand back to give me access.

“Please…”

I waste no time in grabbing the lube and squeezing some onto my fingers as I bring myself to my knees between his legs. I notice him tense and I pause, worried he might be uncomfortable. “Is everything okay, Lix?” I ask softly, still coating my fingers and warming the lube as I speak.

“Hmm?” It’s then that I see his eyes have become glossy and half-lidded. “Oh- yeah, everything is great.” He smiles up at me but I don’t move so he elaborates. “I was getting ahead of myself.”

“Aww, lost in thought about how it’ll feel when I fuck you?” He nods vigorously and I smirk as I lean down, propping myself up on one hand which is planted by his head. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, you won’t have to wait to find out much longer.” His face goes bright red again as I slip my hand between his legs.

In reality, I’m just as worked up as he is and I’m nervous. I’m talking a big game for someone who has never fucked a guy before. But I’m encouraged by his reaction as I press a slick finger inside him.

His jaw is still hanging slack and he lets out a soft whine. I’m honestly a little surprised by his reaction. He’s already stretched himself a good bit so it’s not a shocking sensation or anything. Is he really that affected by my touch? “C-curl-” He urges and I do, earning a high-pitched moan as my finger comes into contact with his prostate.

With a renewed sense of courage, I begin to finger fuck him, repeatedly dragging my finger over his prostate. After only a minute, he begs me for another so I give it to him, watching his face contort in pleasure as I hover over him. I lower myself down and begin to press kisses to his neck, earning sighs of pleasure.

But then he grabs my wrist, pushing my hand away, and I freeze. “Can’t- fuck, I can’t take it-” He grabs the lube as he speaks and puts more than a generous amount on his palm before wrapping his hand around my hard-on. “Please just fuck me already-” He begs as he coats my dick and it twitches in his hand. He looks up at me with a sly grin. “You like when I beg, Binnie?”

My cock throbs again and I instantly pull my fingers out of him and place my hand over his, bucking my hips when he digs his thumb into the slit. “I fucking love it, angel. Love that name too.” I see the stars in his eyes again and gently push his hand away. He takes hold of his own dick with his messy hand, biting his lip when I line up.

I slowly push in, watching as his lips part and he lets out a soft gasp. I’m short circuiting now. He’s tighter than any woman I ever fucked and now my jaw is hanging slack like his has been since he saw my dick pic. “Oh my fucking god, Lixie…” I choke out before I’m even halfway in.

My face screws up in pleasure and I hiss softly as my hips meet his. I don’t know if he wants me to move yet or not but I have to stay still for a moment or I will finish too early, I can feel it. “Binnie…” I manage to force my eyes open and his expression almost makes me lose myself. He’s staring up at me with half-lidded eyes, his pillowy lips parted and allowing little puffs of air to escape. “Kiss me…” He whispers, following it up with a soft ‘please?’ as he gives his cock a tug.

I don’t need to be asked twice. I plant my free hand on the other side of his head as I dip down to kiss him, making a mental note to change the sheets before letting him settle in for the night. Our lips meet and he tangles his free hand in my hair, giving a soft tug.

I groan against his lips and he continues to pull until it hurts. I wince at the pain and stop my hips from moving as he riles me up. He doesn’t seem to like this and gives another tug. He continues to give sporadic tugs as my tongue sweeps into his mouth until I finally buck my hips. He lets out a broken moan against my lips and I pull back so I can hear him fully.

“Gonna sing for me, pretty boy?” I tease as I snap my hips forwards, earning a loud, whiny ‘uh huh’ as he nods. “Tell me how you want it, baby.” I whisper, giving shallow thrusts as I listen for his response.

“I don’t care.” He groans, working his hand a bit faster. “I don’t care how you fuck me, Bin, just please make me cum.” He begs in a pathetic tone and a thrill runs through my body.

“Any way I want?” He nods and I sit up between his legs. I gently push his hand away from his dick and press his knees towards his chest, my hands supporting him so he can just relax and feel everything I’m doing to him. “Lix?” He looks up and I catch his eye. “Tell me if anything is off, yeah?” I’m so worried I’m going to mess this up somehow. Maybe it’s because it’s Felix, my best friend and the man I’ve had feelings for for over a year, and not just some random guy.

“Of course.” I breathe a sigh of relief and he bites his lip in a failed attempt to conceal a tiny smile. “But don’t expect to hear anything but moans.” I’m slightly taken aback but entirely flattered that he has so much faith in me.

He’s about to encourage me to carry on when I suddenly snap my hips forwards. His jaw drops and his head falls back to the pillows, a quiet moan slipping past his plump lips. “You mean like that?” I tease as I set a steady pace, suppressing my own sounds save for the soft cursing under my breath.

He nods frantically and I just barely notice him wipe his hands clean before holding his legs just above where I’m holding. “Please touch my cock, Binnie. I need it. I need you to touch me. Pretty please?” He begs as I begin to speed up, feeling more confident with every gasp and moan I draw from him.

I release his thighs and wrap my right hand around his dick, stifling a low groan as he lets out a breathy moan that vaguely sounds like my name. My gaze is volleying between where we’re connected, my hand tugging at his pretty cock, and his face, which is screwed up in pleasure. My hips falter slightly when I realize he looks just as pretty as he did in the dream that started this whole mess.

I quickly regain my rhythm and tap his hand, signaling him to release his legs. Once he does, I urge them around my waist. My left hand rests on his thigh, close to his hip, and I massage circles on his feverish skin with my thumb. “F-faster-” He chokes, one hand fisting in the sheets while the other blindly searches for my left hand.

He stops my absentminded motion and takes my hand, lacing our fingers. My heart races at the simple gesture and I give a gentle squeeze as I pick up the pace, hips pistoning at a pace I forgot I could reach. I’m about to speak but every thought leaves my mind when I look down at his leaking cock. Just past that, I notice a bulge that appears every time I slam into him.

“Holy fucking shit-” I hiss as I watch in wonder. A new wave of arousal crashes over me at the sight and I’m hit with the urge to breed him; to make him wholly mine. I know it makes no sense but I can’t help it. “Lixie, baby, you’re so fucking perfect…” I groan and he squeezes my hand.

I release his dick and ghost my fingers over the bulge appearing in his belly with each thrust. He whines in disappointment at the loss of stimulation but lifts his head when he feels my fingertips on his skin. He zeroes in on what I’m fixated on and I feel him clench around me, drawing a loud moan from me. “Oh fuck-” His jaw drops as he watches, precum dribbling on his skin at the sight, which only makes it hotter. “Oh fuck ‘m gonna cum-” He warns and I instantly wrap my hand back around his cock, set on finishing him off.

I’m fighting to stay composed as I fuck into him. I want him to cum first. And he does. He lets out a cry that resembles my name as cum spurts across his belly, his grip on my hand tightening as he shudders in pleasure. I don’t stop jacking him off until he’s trembling and squeezing my hand almost painfully. Finally, I release him. “Where do you want it, bab-?”

He doesn’t even let me finish speaking. “Inside. Please cum inside.” His tone is desperate as he begs and he sounds close to tears. Not being able to refuse him, I let go.

My thrusts become sloppy and a moment later my orgasm crashes over me. I rut into him desperately, my entire body overtaken by a euphoria I’ve never experienced before. I’m pinning his hands above his head as I fall into him even before the ecstasy has passed, hips still jerking as I crash my lips to his in a desperate kiss.

He moans against my lips, squeezing my hands as my hips slow. Finally, I still as my tongue dips into his mouth. He still tastes like that blue raspberry lollipop from earlier.

I hum as I pull back for air and he bites his lip as he looks up at me. We stare at each other in silence, both of us praying that this isn’t a one time thing but neither of us willing to ask. I release his hands in favor of playing with his hair after pushing it out of his face. “You did so good.”

“Mm usually I’m the one giving the praise, sweetheart.” I tease and he giggles softly, bringing his hands to my cheeks and tracing my cheekbones with his thumbs.

“Well I’m the one with more experience so I get to dole out praises this time.” He sticks his tongue out playfully before smiling up at me again. “Seriously though, you’re fucking amazing.”

I lean down and peck his lips again before sitting up, pulling him with me so we’re still chest to chest. I’m vaguely aware of the way our bodies are pressed together, his cum smearing across both of us now. More importantly, I’m aware of how the change in position drives me deeper into him; aware of the tiny gasp that slips past his lips.

“I think that’s you, baby.” I whisper and peck his lips again. I can’t help myself. I’ve wanted to kiss him for a whole year now.

He goes quiet for a moment as he looks at me and I wonder what he’s thinking. Before I can ask, he’s tipping us over and I’m landing on my back beneath him. “No, it’s you. I can’t get enough.” He whispers and rolls his hips.

I hiss at the motion and plant my feet on the mattress, trying to tighten my grip on him to hold him still while I buck into him, but he pushes my hands away. He grabs my wrists and pins my hands by my head at first, pulling back so he can look down at me. My softening dick begins to stiffen again and I make a mental note to contemplate exactly why it was so hot to be pinned down by him when he’s the most obviously submissive man I’ve ever met. Then he releases me and sits up properly on my lap.

“What have you done to me?” He whines softly, lifting himself up so just the tip is inside before dropping back down. I raise an eyebrow as my hands move to his hips and he tips his head back, looking up at himself in the mirror. “You already wrecked me, why am I still so fucking horny?”

I can’t help but chuckle at his complaint. “What? Tiny baby needs to be filled with cum again to feel satisfied?” My tone is mocking and I can feel the effect my words have on him. He clenches around me as his whole body tenses and I see his eyes slip shut in the mirror as he makes a pathetic noise.

“Yes! God yes-” He moans, pushing into my touch when my hands move to squeeze his ass. “Want you to fill me up again. Wanna make you cum for me again…” He babbles on as he lifts himself up and drops back down, letting out what almost sounds like a squeal.

He sets a steady pace like this, a symphony of the prettiest sounds I’ve ever heard falling from his lips as he rides me. His head lolls around, alternating between watching himself in the mirror and looking down at me. I can’t tear my eyes away from his body, fixated on the way his muscles contract and the bulge that appears as he fucks me.

I don’t know what possesses me to do this, but I slap his ass and he jolts on top of me. His dick twitches and he moans out my name. He leans forwards and places his hands on my abs, balancing himself as he rocks back on my dick. I buck my hips and he whimpers. “No no no, lemme do it. I wanna do this. Wanna make you cum…” He argues and I can't deny him anything so I comply.

It’s difficult to stay still but I settle for guiding his hips. His head hangs as he rides me, his moans growing increasingly desperate each time our bodies meet. My body is on fire at the slight overstimulation but I welcome it.

Felix doesn’t seem to be faring as well. His moans have turned into cries and he tries to hide his face from me by tossing his head back as he sits up. I see it though and I notice the tears. I’m worried but he’s still going, lifting himself up with much effort and dropping back down in a heap. “Baby, do you need a break?”

“J-just a little…” he wipes his cheeks but doesn’t stop moving. “But I wanna keep going.”

“Why don’t you let me take over, Lixie?” He shakes his head and I gently squeeze his hips. “Please, angel?” He freezes at the name and nods after a moment of silence.

I immediately sit up and make him lay back before pulling out, some of my cum leaking out of him. I don’t bother asking him to roll over, I position him myself. I put him on his belly and push one leg up, like the way he’d laid while sucking me off. I grab his ass and see him clench around nothing, whimpering at my treatment of him. “Please fuck me, Binnie…” He whines out and I squeeze some more lube onto my dick before I line up.

I push into him and set a rough pace, giving his ass a slap as I listen to his wails. His hands fist the sheets as lewd squelching and the sound of skin slapping fills the room. He lets out a pretty sob every time I slap his ass.

My gaze bounces back and forth between his ass - I can’t help but admire the way it jiggles every time I slam into him - and his hands twisted in the sheets. He looks so pretty on display for me like this, crying into my sheets. It’s better than any dream I could’ve had and my dick twitches inside him. Fuck I’m close.

“Fuck- Binnie, please cum inside! Please- want you to cum first and fill me up-” He begs and my dick twitches again.

“Yeah? Gonna take it all like a good boy? Gonna cum and make a mess of my sheets?”

“Yes!” He sobs and I can't help myself. I give in to the fire licking at my skin and cum, relishing in his moans as I fill him up. He shudders beneath me as he joins me, his body jerking with the force of his orgasm.

I don’t stop until I’m on fire, until I can’t take it anymore. He’s trembling now. I pull out slowly and he makes a small sound of protest. I lean down and press my lips to his shoulder, kissing there several times before sitting back up. “You did so good for me, baby. Took it so well.” I coo as I gently roll him onto his back, only to discover he’d had a dry orgasm.

“Yeah?” He asks hopefully and I nod, leaning back over him and swiping my knuckles over his cheeks to dry his tears.

“Yeah.” I offer a small smile before pecking his pouty lips. “Why don’t you let me get you cleaned up and then we can snuggle?”

“How about I go get cleaned up while you change the sheets and then we cuddle?” He laughs softly, taking in a shaky breath afterwards as he stares up at me in what I can only describe as adoration.

“Do you want me to help you to the bathroom?” I ask as we both sit up and he shakes his head.

“It’s okay. I’m okay.” He assures me as he stands. Part of me deflates a little because I want to dote on him, but that part is pacified when he turns around and plants his lips on mine. I rise up on my knees as we kiss, pulling him against me. I frown a little when he pulls back. “I’ll be right back.”

I nod and watch him walk into my en suite bathroom before pulling myself from my trance. Holy shit. I fucked my best friend.

I get up from the bed and quickly pull the sheets off, using them to wipe his cum off my stomach and clean my dick. I toss them in the hamper and grab a pair of boxers, pulling them on before going to the closet to get fresh sheets.

I’m wrestling with the fitted sheet when Felix comes out of the bathroom and grabs his boxers from the floor. “Need a hand?” He teases, his usual glow back tenfold.

“Maybe a little.” I chuckle and he helps me quickly finish making the bed before crawling under the sheets. I join him and prop up on one arm, resting my head on my hand. I take a moment to admire him, his bright eyes framed with long lashes and full lips that could easily put any Bratz doll to shame, before speaking. “How long did you know?”

He takes a moment to take me in as well before answering. “I only assumed, but ever since you told me you had ‘an intimate dream about a guy’ after icing me out for two weeks. It made sense. I wondered why you avoided me but then you told me you had that dream and I guessed it had something to do with me.”

“Then…how long have you thought about sleeping with me?” I might be pushing my luck but I’m curious.

“Long before you ever questioned your sexuality.” He scoffs at himself and looks down at my bare chest with a ghost of a smile, his cheeks going a soft pink. “I think it started that day at the park when we were in high school. Remember that picnic we went on? You were by my side the whole time and you complimented me a few times. You just looked so good that day and you were so laid back and fun, I couldn't help but admire you. That never really changed though, you being carefree.”

It’s my turn to blush now. A smile creeps onto my face as I listen and I finally wrap an arm around him, pulling him against me. “That long?” He nods and I kiss his forehead. “You must’ve known something I didn’t back then.” I tease.

“No,” he laughs. “I used to lament the fact I had a crush on the straight guy.” He snuggles into my chest and lets out a soft sigh. “Part of me wondered if I was ever obvious about it. I don’t know if I ever acted weird around you. I feel like I did.”

“If you did, I never noticed. You’ve always been a sweetheart, I just figured you were extra sweet in private with everyone.” I laugh in spite of myself. How did I never pick up on it? To be fair, I thought I was straight until a little over a year ago. “It’s endearing.”

“It is?” I can hear his smile in his voice.

“It is. Everything about you is. You’re the resident sunshine, after all.”

“I like when you call me stuff like that.”

“Yeah?” He nods. “I think ‘angel’ is your favorite, hmm?” He nods again and I kiss the top of his head before laying my head down. “Cute. Well I’m glad you like it because I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“You better not.” He’s pouting now, I’m sure of it.

“Don’t worry, baby, I won't.”

“Good. You better keep calling me your baby.” I can’t stop the smile I’m wearing from growing wider.

“I will because you are.” I hum. I don’t know what we are but I do know we’re more than friends and I do know I’m never getting over him. “Sweet dreams.” I whisper when I notice his breathing even out.

Whatever this is, I’m content to hold him in my arms for the rest of the night.

#kpop smut #stray kids smut #stray kids #stray kids changbin #changbin #changbin smut #chanbin x felix #changlix #changlix smut #stray kids felix #lee felix #lee felix smut #kpop pride #pride month event 2023 #this was the result of several months of severe brain rot #i hope you like it #because it's one of my favorites #alura’s works

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thelaundrybitch · 9 months

Text

A New Beginning

TURTLE DOVES!!!

I found something in my drafts, and I decided to share it.

I wrote this FOREVER ago - So I'm unsure if I will continue with it.

@leosgirl82 was there when it happened. 😁😎🤩🫶🏽💃🏽

And @drowninghell made some fanart for it - Which I will be posting if it's alright with her 🥰😍💖

Tee hee

Anyways. It was something somewhere between "write what you know" and "wicked fucking self-indulgent."

Also

IT'S NINJA FUCKING TURTLES

Without further ado...

I give you...

Some Cowabunga 💙❤️💜🧡

18+ content - for mature audiences only!

THESE ARE AGED-UP NINJA TURTLES. THEY ARE GROWN ASSED ADULTS. DON'T BE A <FILL IN THE BLANK>. 😘

Or at least that’s what I tell everyone.

My name is Liz, and I work for OSHA.

You see, after I graduated with an Associate’s in Science for Occupational and Environmental Safety Management, I was offered a job with FED OSHA - Occupational Safety and Health Administration through the federal government - The job of my dreams. So, you can imagine how ecstatic I was when they hired me.

Everything was great for the first few months - until they brought me in on a top-secret project in New York. They told me they needed a Safety Technician who specialized in humanitarian issues and loved animals. Apparently, they thought I was their girl.

Weird, right?

So, they brought me to this gargantuan underground facility, where I was given my own office with all the latest and greatest technology and safety gadgets - even ones that hadn’t been put on the market yet; It was a fucking dream. One of those ‘too good to be true’ scenarios.

And indeed. It was too good to be true.

They moved me to Manhattan to be closer to the facility because it was necessary for me to be on call 24/7 - which was totally fine because it was just me.

And because they paid me WELL.

So, after a few months of puttering around, fixing compliance issues, they decided it was time for me to start in my REAL job position.

“Ms. Bueno, we will be bringing you in today, to help with the major issue we hired you for, initially.”

“Great! I can’t wait to get to work!” I said to the director.

“Good. I’ll be waiting in Section K22. Please meet me down there.”

“The high-security clearance sector?” I asked, a bit confused.

“Yes,” he replied.

I nodded, and he went to walk away but stopped at my office door. “ Oh, and Ms. Bueno?”

“Yes, sir?” I asked.

“Do make sure you use the restroom before you head down. Some of the things you see may be… Shocking,” he told me.

“Certainly, sir,” I said as he turned and left completely this time.

What the actual fuck are they doing down there.

I met the director at the entrance to K22 - which turned out to be more secure than Fort Knox - and I was handed a white lab coat and some safety glasses by his security detail, which consisted of like seven huge dudes.

“Why are you guys all wearing bullet-proof vests, and I get this?” I asked, shaking the flimsy lab coat between my index finger and thumb.

“They seem to have a soft spot for females,” said ‘Bruce’, according to his name tag.

“Well, Bruce,” I said, unimpressed by his explanation, “OSHA clearly states that whatever PPE or other safety-related articles are donned by personnel going into an area of safety concern, those same articles need to be worn by EVERYONE that enters. Not just the men,” I stated, giving him my best OSHA inspector face.

“She’s not wrong. Give her a vest for under her lab coat,” said the director.

That’s right. Fuck you, Bruce.

After all of my safety gear was on, they walked me down a long, brightly lit corridor that led to another door. This door could only be opened using iris recognition.

“Ms. Bueno, what you are about to see, is one of the World’s most highly classified projects. If you tell anyone about this, you and said people will be eliminated.”

“Eliminated?” I choked out through a slightly embarrassing squeak.

“Eliminated. As in loss of life. Death. And you will be expunged - completely erased so no one knows you ever existed. Do you agree to these terms?”

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. What in the HELL have I gotten myself into…

“Uh, yes?” I said, making my response sound more like a question.

“I’m not convinced, Ms. Bueno. I need to be very convinced before we go through these doors. It’s a matter of national security.”

“100%, sir. I am absolutely, 100% positive. I swear to these terms, sir,” I told him, feeling my backbone reappear.

“Good. Samuel, we’re ready for entry,” he told the biggest security staff member.

Samuel cocked his gun and stood in front of the door, in the ready position, pointing the gun at it like the zombie apocalypse was about to ensue.

I swallowed nervously.

That’s a fucking lie. I’m about to shit my pants. No wonder he had me go to the bathroom before I came down here.

Anyway, as I’m wishing I had a diaper on, the director leaned in and initiated the iris recognition scan, successfully opening the sealed door. The security detail filed in first.

I followed the director into what looked like a giant laboratory. As we got ready to turn the corner, his security detail fanned out in front of us.

“LET US OUT!” Boomed a deep, raspy voice.

*Adrenaline rush*

“Just sit down. It’s not gonna help,” said another.

“HE NEEDS HELP!” yelled the first voice.

“I know, but they aren’t gonna let us out. And honestly, I don’t even know who could, or would, help him.” came a third voice.

I saw the director from the corner of my eye, turn and look at me as I stood stock-still, looking forward, and waiting to be told that I could proceed.

He didn’t say anything, so I turned and looked at him, my eyes the size of Jupiter. All pupil.

He nodded once, and I stepped around the corner.

May God strike me dead where I stand, if I’m lying.

There was a giant reinforced cage, resembling jail cells, holding the fucking Ninja Turtles in them.

I shit you not.

Albeit they were a bit older than we’d seen them in movies, and they looked slightly different, but they were definitely THE Ninja Turtles.

I gathered myself and turned to the director. “What is my job here, sir?” I asked him, completely composed with a straight face.

“Health and Safety,” He said, sadness flashing across his eyes for less than a moment. “We will leave you and let you do what you need to do,” he said, leaving me alone with the caged turtle-men.

Once I was sure I was alone, I looked around for security cameras. When I'd decided there were none - probably for top-secret and national security reasons - I took off the stupid lab coat, safety glasses, and bulletproof vest and ran to the cages.

“Oh my god, what happened to him?” I asked, squatting down and reaching an arm through the bars to check Donatello’s pulse.

The other three turned and looked at me, confused.

“Don’t touch him,” Growled the red-banded bara.

“Who are you?” asked Leonardo, putting a hand up in a placating manner, in an attempt to get his brother to back down.

“I’m the lead Health and Safety technician for this project. They hired me six months ago for this project, but this is the first time hearing about all of this,” I said, slightly alarmed by the faintness of Donnie's heartbeat. “Now, please tell me, what happened to him,” I said to Leo, looking him directly in the eyes.

“We don’t know. They sedated him. Heavily. And took him out of the lab. He was gone for two days. He’s been like this since they brought him back,” said Leo, now kneeling in the corner of the cell so he was next to me and his unconscious brother.

“And how long ago did they bring him back?” I asked.

“Maybe three to four hours ago? It’s hard to tell. We’ve been stuck in here forever.”

“Oh God… Is he allergic to anything? Does he have any health issues?” I prodded, my eyebrows furrowed, and my face twisted in clear heartache.

“Uh, no, no. None of us do. I mean, unless you count the fact that we’re overgrown, mutated, humanoid turtles…” He said.

I couldn't help but smirk at him, “No. That’s actually quite normal. This is New York, after all.”

Mikey huffed a stifled giggle from beside me, now standing the closest he could get to us, in his own cage.

As I started to stand up, Leo stuck his hand through the bars and grabbed my wrist. I looked into his gorgeous blue eyes, which were filled with sorrow and hope. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Don’t thank me yet. I haven’t even done anything,” I told him softly.

“Yea, but you’re going to - I can see the genuine worry on your face,” he said, my face heating up as he pulled me closer to his cage to get a better look at me.

“I need to go look through the files over by the entry door,” I whispered to him. “I need to see what they were doing to him, so I can help him.”

Leo released my wrist and wiped a tear from my cheek. I didn’t even realize I was crying.

“I’m Leo,” he introduced himself.

“I know who you guys are. You’re kinda my childhood heroes,” I confessed, looking down.

“Thank God,” huffed Raphael, visibly relaxing.

“You’re actually gonna help us then?” asked Mikey from behind me.

I turned and looked at the orange-clad turtle, “Yes, of course.”

I turned back to Leo and leaned in closer to him so he could hear me whisper...

“I don’t know how, but I promise, I’ll help you get out of here.”

Enjoying my work? Find my Master list HERE

~Tags~

@leosgirl82 @sharpwindow @post-apocalyptic-daydream @eveandtheturtles @m1dnyt3-w0lf @raphsmuneca @tmnt-tychou @snackugaki @scholastic-dragon @miss-andromeda @happymoonangel @drowninghell @raphslovemuffin80 @chicchanmooshy @xanadu-702 @pheradream-15 @jurikyu-blog @raphielover @zombiesnips-blog @meowph-132 @shakeyourtrees @iheartchv @fluffytriceratops @fyreball66 @memes-in-a-half-shell @t-annuki @waterstar2016 @symmetricalkazekage @androidships007 @tinkabelle19

*If you aren’t on this list, please let me know if you want me to tag you in my other work or if you prefer me to not tag you 😘

#thelaundrybitch #tmnt aged up #A New Beginning TMNT #Safety Turts #hahaha see what I did there #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt bayverse #tmnt #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt au #This feels very #Blurple #Maybe I'll keep writing this series #THESE ARE AGED-UP NINJA TURTLES. THEY ARE GROWN ASSED ADULTS. DON'T BE A <FILL IN THE BLANK>.

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luandti · 2 years

Text

you guys, I am completely overwhelmed by your kind words and enthusiasm for my crack fic :D also i am sorry about all the (spelling) errors I made in part 1. I typed that at 6am before work

So, here is part 2 (you can find part 1 here)

Sgt. Grey: apparently Smitty put a Bradford name tag on Chens uniform today.

Sgt. Grey: When confronted he told me he was an ordained minister

Aaron: what?

Wesley: he knows that he can’t marry people without their consent, right?

Inmate 6782 joined using this group’s invite link

Inmate 6782: Hey guys, so nice to see you all hard at work! this inappropriate meddling in your co-workers relationship will make it safer out there for all of us. thank you

Sgt. Grey: who is this?

Nolan: Oscar? is that you?

Genny: who is oscar?

Sgt. Grey: Mr. Hutchinson! Are you serious? calling the prison right now!!

Inmate 6782: Ugh Sergeant, don’t be such a kill joy (pun intended) :D

Inmate 6782: Let me in on all the fun! Oscar loves love

Nyla: how did you get in here?

Inmate 6782: I am friends with Smitty on facebook

Sgt. Grey: of course you are

Angela Lopez removed Inmate 6782

Patrice Evers: Dear all, but why is Mr. Hutchinson in prison? Is there hope for him? Yours sincerely, Patrice

Wesley: MOTHER I swear to god!!

Inmate 6782 joined using this group’s invite link

Inmate 6782: Guys, wait. I can help!

Angela Lopez: how?

Nolan: @Angela Lopez you can’t be serious

Inmate 6782: I am a psychopath, right? I could help you using more drastic measures. first suggestion: i kidnap Ofc. Chen and we see what happens?

Celina: I think my psychic warned me about this situation

Bailey: Yeah, I think we should go with the other plan and pretend to set Lucy up with somebody from my work

Angela Lopez removed Inmate 6782

Nyla: anyways.... are there any news about that fake date? @Bailey

Bailey: not yet. this is harder than I thought!

Bailey: apparently even half the fire department knows about Tim and Lucy

Bailey: yesterday, when I asked Sam if he would go on a fake date with lucy, he said to me (and I quote)

Bailey: “do I look like I have a death wish? you know Sgt. Bradford is armed, right?”

Nolan: this is crazy

Celina: they have such a powerful bond. i am not suprised so many people notice.

Aaron: I made a list of all the “secret” looks they gave each other yesterday...

Angela Lopez: everytime Tim calls her chen instead of lucy i die a little inside!

Celina: btw: I know “erotic fanfiction” is banned but I wrote some cute domestic fanfiction last night when I couldn’t sleep... anyone interested?

Wesley: do you guys ever think that maybe we should leave them alone? and that maybe this whole group chat is morally wrong?

Nyla: did you ask yourself that when you asked elijah for help? that it might be “morally wrong”?

Patrice Evers: Dear Son, what is Nyla talking about? Love, your mother

Wesley: Regretting A LOT of decisions right about now1!

Wesley left the group

Angela added Wesley to the group

Angela Lopez: @Wesley stop beeing such a drama queen babe

Nyla: @Angela Lopez you should divorce him tbh

Tamara: guys, focus! we need a new plan

Nyla: we could try the undercover thing again

Nyla: worked the first time?

Nolan: @Sgt. Grey

Sgt. Grey: Just to be clear: you want me, your boss, to send two of my police officers into a fake uc op?

Nyla: pretty much! would be great if it happend sometime within the next 10 days

Tamara: is that when you placed your bet?

Nyla: @Tamara no comment

Genny: we should call it “operation lovebirds” and it is just my idiot brother and lucy wearing fancy clothes and going on dates <3

Nolan: @Genny we don’t really name our operations but the rest sounds actually good

#chenford #chenford fic #this is getting out of hand!!#i am laughing so hard at my own jokes #it is embarassing #thank you all so much for enjoying this

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sawrinwrites · 2 months

Text

Sawrin does Bumbleby Week

I know I said I was going to use this month to focus on OC content, but I am a recklessly impulsive dumbass, so when the prompt list for Bumbleby Week went up and I realised I was accidentally completing the prompt for day 1, my brain went “Welp! Might as well do all 8!” and I agreed.

Some of these are based on concepts I've already been developing for future multi-chapter fics. I've marked those ones with a * by the title so you guys can let me know which ones you want to see the most.

Here’s what you can expect to see over the next 8 days:

Day 1 - Bumblebaby

Title: Expecting

Summary: A new story in the As Told By Ember collection. This tale follows the best girl as she helps her humans prepare for the arrival of their first child.

Author’s Comment: You can thank @reeves3 for this one. Without their suggestion, I wouldn’t have had the inspiration to build out a collection of Ember’s adventures.

Day 2 – Jock & Nerd AU

Title: I See You*

Summary: Weiss knows Blake and Yang are in love, she just hasn’t figured out a way to get them together yet. When Blake accidentally submits the wrong poem to her class and Yang ends up writing an essay on it, Weiss finally finds the opening she’s been waiting for.

Author’s Comment: This fit the prompt better when it was from Yang and Blake’s POV, but the story worked better from Weiss’ so that's what I wrote. Bees trauma-bonding through literature (a concept that is very near and dear to my heart).

Day 3 – Soulmates / Reincarnation

Title: And Every Time I’ll Find You

Summary: As another one of Blake’s lives draw to a close, she and Yang return to the place where it all began.

Author’s Comment: My beta reader banned me from writing soulmate stories because of this. It’s a sad one.

Day 4 – Nomad Blake & Farm Girl Yang

Title: Maybe This Year

Summary: The Kuo Kuana dragon riders make their annual visit to the floating island of Patch. For most, it’s a chance to relax. For Blake, it’s a chance to reunite with Yang and wonder how many more times she’s going to be able to leave.

Author’s Comment: Pretty sure the last time I wrote about dragons was when the years still had 00 in the middle of them. My inner child had a field day with this one. A more fun and light fic than the summary might suggest.

Day 5 – Evil Yang / Blake (or both)

Title: A Weak and Foolish Heart*

Summary: Sequestered to a keep in the middle of the Vacuo desert, the blood mage Blake leverages her skills and her history with Yang to try and ascertain the location of Princess Weiss Schnee.

Author’s Comment: This one’s the reason why each day is getting posted as a new piece of work instead of chapters under one project. Tags for blood, gore, graphic violence, and depictions of torture. I spent hours researching tendon names and positions for this. It’s also the fic that most closely resembles my preferred writing style (make of that fact what you will).

Day 6 – Comfort

Title: The Way It Feels*

Summary: Blake and Yang attempt to be intimate for the first time since Yang’s accident but the loss of sensations in Yang’s arm triggers a panic attack instead. Blake comforts her wife in the aftermath.

Author’s Comment: I’m sorry, it wouldn’t be a Sawrin fic without angst before the comfort.

Day 7 – AU Day

Title: Double Date*

Summary: After Weiss accidentally accepts an invitation to be the third wheel at a dinner date with Pyrrha and her girlfriend, Yang, she begs her best friend, Blake, to join as her fake girlfriend. An easy ask, if Blake didn’t find herself attracted to the blonde on the other side of the table.

Author’s Comment: I was going to put up a vote on which AU to do but the second I added “Fake Dating” to the list my brain went “What if the Bees weren’t the ones who were fake dating?” So here you go, fake dating monochrome with (assumed) Greek fire. Bees & Schneekos endgame. Also an excuse for me finally write Blake into that dress.

Day 8 – Bonus / VA Appreciate Day

Title: Downtime

Summary: Blake and Yang discuss the lives of their VAs, as well as their own budding relationship.

Author’s Comment: The shortest one of the lot, this is really just a small love letter to the Bees and to Barb and Arryn.

I'll be posting a link to each fic under the Bumbleby Week tag as they go live.

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asurrogateblog · 17 days

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Cannibals, Pirates, and PhDs: How Did I Get Here?

I mentioned in some tags earlier that I’ve only actually been a real fan of Pink Floyd for under a year, and that the confluence of events that led up to it is pretty absurd. Some interest seemed to be taken in this, so I though I’d elaborate.

I didn’t know how to shorten this timeline and have it make any sense, so it’s... long. But idk, I think it’s pretty funny. If you’re nosy like I am this is for you.

My Backstory Timeline:

early childhood: my parents essentially mainline me and my little sister with The Beatles. I know almost no songs written past the 70’s until at least sixth grade. I develop a childhood crush on Paul McCartney, a joke that the universe really decides to play the long game on.

2014: my dad calls me over one night, and gravely tells me he’s been waiting to share something until I’m old enough. I brace myself to be told about sex or secret half-siblings. Instead, he tells me I need to listen to The Wall. Irritated at the idea of wasting an hour and half of my night, I nevertheless comply and go up to my room and put it on. I do not come back from this, clearly having inherited some sort of generational curse.

Around the same time, I am also secretly watching Hannibal every time my parents send me upstairs because Game of Thrones is “too gory”. This will trigger three important things: an interest in psychology, a love of horror media, and a classical music phase will train my attention span to last well past the three minute mark.

2014-2023: Over the intervening years, I become a casual fan of Pink Floyd, but make a deliberate point not to learn anything about the band. I like being able to imagine my own meanings for the songs. Also, I am motivated against this by a childhood memory of being deeply frightening by a picture of old Paul McCartney (LOL). I do not want that to ever happen again, so no learning.

Cut to April of 2023: I am finishing up my first year of my PhD program studying media psychology. I am in a bad place mentally, and am going through another horror movie phase to fill the hole. As a result, I get very into American Psycho. The main character, Patrick Bateman, is a fan of superficial 80’s pop music, particularly Genesis. I decide to start listening to Genesis to see if I agree with his tastes. While researching “best Genesis albums”, I come across The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway. I listen to it, and am blown away. I had no idea that the Phil Collins band made music like that. This sends me down the prog-rock rabbit hole. I still won't learn any lore.

Summer of 2023: MEANWHILE, I am also going through another pirate phase. I have a fairly encyclopedic knowledge of 18th century piracy (and am still quite active in the Black Sails fan community). Around this time, I get really obsessed with this one random guy named Dennis McCarthy who was hanged in 1718.

I decide to work poor Dennis into a science fiction story I’ve been working on. The premise is essentially that the universe is an abandoned simulation, and a ‘glitch in the matrix’ starts to, among other things, bring people from the wrong time periods back to life. The format of the story is vaguely monster-of-the-week, in which the characters have to solve various problems caused by mistakes in the code. I think, “hey, you know what would be perfect for this? that fanfic I wrote about The Wall in high school.” Said fic (which that stupid fucking beatles movie stole from me) is about a world in which Pink Floyd never existed, but a wannabe rock-star discovers a box full of their records and decides to copy them. While he is touring his plagiarized version of The Wall, he realizes that the events of the album are starting to happen to him in real life. By working this concept into my new story, I go through another one of my periodical The Wall phases. It's in full swing when fall rolls around.

September of 2023: This semester, I take a grad-level narrative theory class in the English department. I decide it would be helpful to follow along with a specific example, so I choose The Wall. Using the terminology I am learning in the class, I start to realize that The Wall is…. incredibly narratologically fucked up. To help orient me, I watch the bootleg concert recordings, and the trick with the surrogate band sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore.

This is where the two plot-lines converge. I don’t remember which came first, but around this same time, I think to myself “hey, if Genesis was hiding such an incredible album under the 80’s pop, what must Pink Floyd be hiding?” On that whim, I put on Piper at the Gates of Dawn, which equally sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore. I needed to know what the fuck happened to get them from Piper to The Wall.

September-November: In the two months between the onset of this and finally making another sideblog, I dedicate all of my free time to learning as much about Pink Floyd as humanely possible (and writing a 20 page essay for that narrative theory class). As you can imagine, this is a lot to unpack all at once for someone who didn’t even know who Roger or Syd or any of the rest of them were. Luckily, I am over-educated enough to be a very fast learner. Aside from the band lore itself, I of course also fall in love with the rest of Pink Floyd's discography musically-speaking. Having this interest to latch onto genuinely pulls me out of my depression.

Cut to February 2024: I am really enjoying myself, and want to keep this going as long as possible, but I am starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel on Pink Floyd lore. I decide I need to feed the fire by supplementing with lore from another band. The Beatles seem to have a strong fan presence on tumblr, why not revisit a childhood favorite? The universe laughs at my expense.

That about brings us up to date. I have gone through so much character development over the last eight months, it’s crazy. Pink Floyd is definitely one of those things that is less of a “phase” and more of a permanent part of my mindscape. Weirdly enough, since I am studying media psychology, all of this has also been really good for my career? I never took an interest in -real- media figures (as opposed to fictional characters) before, and I feel like I have a much clearer sense of things now. It's definitely influenced my research, so whatever domino effect this has on my future is bound to get even funnier.

Anyway, that’s my backstory!

#it’s interesting re-examining how my relationship to The Wall has changed over time.#strange how you can love something as a kid but not really personally relate to it. and then you grow up and suddenly you’re like...#...oh shit. there -must- have been a door there when I came in #//#that makes it sound less fun than its been tho #god. i've had so much fun. im actually glad i took so long to get into band lore so I could learn all this -now-#i had kind of worked myself into a (very silly) mental spiral of 'what if I've run out of new things to discover'#and it's been so. idk... healing for me to realize all of this has been here the whole time #(clenching my teeth: ....emotional vulnerability....)

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spider-bren · 9 months

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Dangerous Desires Part 2 | Clement Mansell x Female Reader

@ilovewhiteroses asked for this. Here you go, sweetness. Thank you to @penguiqueen-blog for beta'ing my work and who typed all this up for me because I hand wrote most of it!!

This is a continuation of ‘Dangerous Desires’.

Summary of Dangerous Desires Part 1: Reader works at the casino where Sandy works. Clement sees reader at the bar and they end up sleeping together in an elevator. He also stays the night at her apartment.

Pairing: Clement Mansell x Fem!Reader Tags: Sexual Content, PIV sex, Kitchen sex, Dirty Talk, Masturbation Summary: Reader and Clement sleep together in Clement's apartment. Clement finds himself distracted by thoughts of you...

"Hey Sweety, you have a 50 on you?" Clement asked, pushing his glasses back up his nose. He leaned on the open window of Sweety's car and grabbed the note from him.

He slipped it in his back pocket and entered the flower shop. It wasn't much of a flower guy, but he knew he had to make some of gesture, a taunt for the Mashal. Because he had him now. Him and Sweety's plan was setting sail this afternoon when they collected money from Burt. The whole town would fall prey to their scheme and Clement's pockets would be filled with cash. He picked out a few flowers here and there. It didn't have to mean anything. An ex once told him that flowers meant something. There was this whole other language told through flowers, with their colours and scents and origins. Clement was sure to bipass any roses in case dear Raylan got the wrong idea of the message he was trying to send.

He rounded the corner and spotted a familar face. Clement recognised the woman from the bar. The one who had had thoughly fucked against in the elavator. He remembered seeing you for the first time and not being able to stop himself from taking you right then and there. He couldn't even wait two more floors. Once inside your apartment he never let his hands off of you. Clement felt his cock stirring at the memory of being inside you. He walked over to you, dazzling smile on his face.

"Hey there, darlin'. what brings you here?"

"Oh. Hi, Clement. I'm just buying flowers for this woman who works with me. Her grandma passed so I thought I'd buy her something to make her smile."

"That's so thoughtful of you." He leaned in, body so close to touching yours. "Hey, you remember our time together, don't ya? How I stayed between your legs for hours. You were so good, baby."

"I do remember you. How could I not?" you told him. "I thought you were good as well."

"Hm." He cocked his head to the side, eyes glinting up with mischief and mirth. "So good you wanna do it again? You could swing by my apartment tonight? I have a meeting this afternoon, but nothing in the evening. Or the morning. I could be all yours."

You pressed your lips together, thinking of a night filled with passion and Clement's hands on you. You closed your eyes and tried to picture yourself in his apartment. Was this a good idea? No, it was a terrible idea. You hardly knew this man. You only knew his name and how his breath felt against your neck. But something pulled you to him, something in you craved to be in his presence as dangerous and thrilling as it was.

"Okay," you replied.

"I'll be looking forward to it."

You exchanged numbers and he said he would text you the address. You didn't see him the rest of the day.

***

A text popped up on your phone with the address. Entering Clement's apartment you could tell he wanted nothing more than to forgo the ridiculous introductions and greetings. He quickly dragged you by the hand through the living room and into the kitchen, showing you the space he lived in. He leaned against the counter, drawing you into his arms, hands on your waist.

"Nice place," you commented, not knowing what else to say.

He hummed and started kissing your neck. His lips pressed on your pulse point, your breath quickening as he licked the line of collarbone. It was all so familiar. The heat. The scent of him. The weight of his hands on your body trailing upwards to pull your shirt off.

"Missed you, doll," he drawled before he yanked off your shirt. Your skin was feverish as he glided his large palms across your stomach.

He chuckled deeply as he swept his hands towards your back. His lips met yours--mouth savouring each lip, first the top, then the bottom, dragging it into his mouth to suck and nibble. He kissed you as if he had been starved. His wet tongue pushed into your mouth and curled into every crevice making your knees buckle and your body sway towards him. He was tall, way taller than you. Your bare body reached the buckle of his belt. There's still so much of him. So much to touch and trace. You wanted your hands on all of him.

He leaned down, deepening the kiss, harder and more forced, ragged breaths every time your lips parted. You could feel it. Feel how affected he was just kissing you. His jeans were so tight the bulge was prominant. Your mouth watered at the sight, remembering the feel and weight of it in your mouth. You heard him sigh as your fingers played with his hair and caressed his scalp. He seemed to love your nails scratching the nape of his neck. There was a spot that got him shivering and pushing a moan into your mouth. With a quick flip of his fingers he unclasped your bra. He pulled it down your arms until it landed on the floor. He pulled away from your lips to mouth your neck again, his hands coming to cup your breasts in his hands, skillful fingers tweaking your nipples.

"I remember that sound you make when you're close," he murmered, mouth drawing to close around your left nipple. He hummed, the sound sending vibrations through you. You bucked into his touch.

"I wonder how easily I can make you cum. If I could get you off with just playing with you like this."

He teased you by grazing his teeth over your erect nipple, beard scraping over your soft, hot flesh. You moaned, dragging his head closer.

"I want to hear you, that gasp you make when you're on the edge… fuck, it gets me so hard."

You were already so turned on. Underwear dripping, soaking through the fabric. He couldn't. Could he? Not like this. No one had ever got you to finish so quickly. It was impossible. Clement was certainly trying. Hands working. Tongue lapping. Your body shook with all the pleasure. He grunted. Your moans made him frustrated. Impatient.

"I know I said I wanna make you cum but Daddy wants to be inside you so badly. I missed the way you feel on my cock. You were so perfect babygirl."

Without protest from you, he picked your small body with ease onto the counter behind him. He towered over you, your legs coming to bracket around him. You locked your legs around his middle. He tutted and peeled it away from his body, your legs dangling in the air, his hands firmly grasping your hips.

"I have to undress you first. Want you to show me your perfect little pussy. Bet she tastes just as amazing as last time."

He made quick work of pulling your pants and underwear off. Before long you were exposed to him, slick dripping onto the counter.

"Look at you," he purred. He gathered up your slick as he glided his hands through your folds. He inserted two of his large fingers inside you and hushed you as you made a noise from the stretch.

"Shush, darlin' I know you can take it. Gotta make sure you can handle my cock. It's been a while. Gonna get you nice and loose first." His mouth descended on your throbbing clit. You cried out as his fingers thrust and set a pace inside you.

You were trembling from the praise, from the other hand gripping your thighs, your legs thrown over his shoulders. It rushed through you unexpectedly, a deep chuckle vibrating against you as that sound you made flew out your mouth.

"There's my girl," he sai, coaxing you through your high.

You couldn't focus on anything but the pleasure. Your body lax and drained. He drew your body closer, cock already pressing against your sopping entrance.

"I got ya. Look at me, baby. Look at me."

You forced your eyes open to stare into his blue ones. He forced himself inside in one fluid motion. Your hands gripped his shoulders, his hips already drawing out to fuck back into you. He shuddered and moaned as talked you through it, telling you how good were, how you felt clenching around him, how he couldn't wait to see his cum run out of your hole. You had never experienced sex like this before and you never could again. Only Clement Mansell could make you feel like this.

He fucked you on every couch in the living room, every position on his bed, against the door of his closet, in the shower and on the floor even. Your nails had scratched his back open. You discovered he made a sound too when you clawed at the bottom of his back, your hands gripping his perfect ass as you felt him fuck into you. His hair was mused from your fingers. His neck littered with bruises, the same welts and marks from his mouth on your body. There were bruises on your hips and bites on your thighs. He had you from behind, your hair twisted in his hand. He had you in every way imaginable. You could still hear the sound he made when you were so filled with him, loads of cum leaking out of you. He loved to watch his cock go in and out of you. Every moment you were with him you felt you couldn't bear the thought of leaving him.

"I have to go to work this morning, Clem," you said, pulling yourself reluctantly out of his arms.

"But baby, I have a whole day planned for us." He pouted and tried to drag you back into bed.

"Like what?"

"Like you could do that thing with your tongue that I like so much." He grinned that smile that made your heart clench.

You sighed and kissed him quickly on the lips. "Later," you replied. "I'll see you again?"

"Tonight. After work."

"Deal," you said and went in search of your clothes.

You remembered how he snuggled into you, his head resting on your chest, your fingers carding through his hair. His breaths were even, peaceful as he slept. You found your discarded clothes in the kitchen. You dressed yourself, fixing your hair into something presentable before letting yourself out. Your body was tired, but your mind was wide awake. The rest of the day all you thought about was him.

***

Clement rolled over to your side of the bed. The pillow smelt of you. Your scent. Your sweat. Your cunt. He had made you taste yourself, made you swallow him down under your belly was full. He moaned thinking of your body, how it felt being buried inside you.

"Fuck, doll, I miss you." His cock was hard again and he stroked himself thinking of you. He fisted his hand over himself, already leaking, his moans echoing in the silence of the room.

"Ah," he moaned, voice kicking higher. "I need ya. Need to be with you again. You drive me crazy. Fuck!"

He messed all over himself picturing your face as he came. He cursed again. He mumbled into the pillow, still rutting against the sheets. It wasn't enough. If he fucked you into the next two weeks it wasn't enough. A month? No, he still wouldn't be satisfied.

How was he going to ask you stay?

#clement mansell x fem reader #clement mansell #justified: city primeval #answering asks #my fic writing

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propalahramota · 2 months

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Hello, mutuals, my kith and kin, time for a super specific historical beef!

I know, it's been a while.

I stumbled on the post below in the Ukraine tag and I was very surprised by it. Usually when I go to that tag, I'm annoyed by pro-russian bigots and tankies, but this time I was annoyed by a stupid Normanist take! Fun!

This blog, which gives me bad vibes so I used a screenshot instead of reblogging, claims that the Kingdom of Kyiv is a 100 percent Viking-made, and those dirty Slavs had no ability to govern themselves.

I say: Bullshit!

And let me make it very clear that I don't agree on anything with putin. He is a psycho and war criminal who uses his own pseudohistorical delusions to justify his imperialist conquest. Both him and the author of this post are wrong.

Let me tell you why:

Our main source on the early Kyivan Rus is The Primary Chronicle by Nestor, also known as The Tale of Bygone Years. It's not a contemporary source. Nestor wrote decades after the most recent of the events he's describing, using the stories he had heard himself as well as earlier Byzantine chronicles. Thus, as you can imagine, it's not super accurate in places, and sometimes the author leaves pretty big gaps in the narrative that historians have worked to fill in.

For example, King Igor (aka Ingvarr) came to rule Kyiv after the death of his predecessor Oleg the Clairvoyant (aka Helgi), who himself had come to rule Kyiv after two guys called Askold and Dir. Nestor calls Igor Rurik's son but timeline-wise the math isn't mathing, so it's much more likely that he was Oleg's son, or nephew, or something like that. Igor marries Olga (aka also Helgi).

And then something really weird happens.

Ingvarr and Helgi have a son with a super unusual for a Viking aristocrat name - Svyatoslav.

And then Svyatoslav has three sons named Oleg (one more Helgi), Yaropolk, and Vladymir.

Vladymir ends up taking the throne and, being a massive manwhore, has a bunch of kids - most of them have Slavic names and some have Greek names. Vladymir is succeeded by Yaroslav the Wise.

It may not seem like a big deal but the King of Kyiv and his wife, who were both Viking nobility, suddenly decided to name their heir and only child a Slavic name. And after him, the old traditional Northern names completely go out of use in the dynasty.

Which means that somewhere in the early Xth century, which is not at all long after the establishment of the Rurikid dynasty in Kyiv (mid IXth century), there was a monumental shift in the Kyivan court politics that urged the foreigners on the throne to make a public effort to assimilate with the local population. We don't know what happened. Nestor never told us because he either didn't know himself or didn't think it was worth mentioning, but this monumental shift is right there, between the lines.

And you are going to tell me that the local Kyiv elites had no say in the government? That Rus Statehood was completely imported and foreign? That the Kingdom of Kyiv was invented by the Scandinavian conquerors?

I say: read the fucking sources, twats!

#Kyivan rus #this is my roman empire #as kids say these days #super specific historical beef #and don't get me started on putins insane take GDL #or I'm gonna write until the whole website crushes and then have a brain aneurysm

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whatislovevavy · 9 months

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WC: 4.4k

Synopsis: An exploration of why Bucky decided to cut his hair

AN: This has been in my Google Drive for about two years and finally got around/had the motivation to finish this. This piece was technically my first ever piece of fanfiction I ever wrote. My writing mostly pertains to Top Gun and Top Gun Maverick so this was a nice little brain break from that. I thought I'd include the original author's note I put together, having never written fanfiction at the time, just for nostalgic sake and if anyone wants to know just how new to this I was lol. Also this divider is not mine and I was unable to tag the account that made it since it was deleted. This work will be posted on my side blog @sophs-writing-nook.

Original Author’s Note: Hello everyone :) This is the first fanfiction I’ve ever written and I really hope you guys like it because I’m a bit nervous about it. I’ve had this idea since I saw the first promotions for the Falcon and Winter Soldier series and didn't really do anything about it for a variety of reasons. I haven’t seen a lot of fics exploring this concept so I decided to write this on a camping trip in my notes app where I didn’t have reception so I apologize if there is bad grammar, spelling errors, etc. If there happens to be a similarity to another fic, it is purely coincidence and I don’t intend to plagiarize anyone. Please let me know if it does appear I have. I have a lot of respect for fanfic writers and don’t want to disrespect anyone and steal anyone’s work unintentionally.

Warnings: Blood, Trauma (PTSD), sadness with some bittersweet moments sprinkled in, supportive Sam because that’s a warning in itself.

None of these characters are mine. Read at your own discretion.

Bucky had tried finding a routine after coming back: Get up by 7, go on a run make breakfast, try to keep in touch with his friends he had made since coming back, try a new recipe, maybe try online dating, catch up on what he missed the past 70 years, try to forgive himself for all the atrocities he didn't have a choice in committing, make dinner, shower, and sleep by 9.

That's what his therapist, Darlene, told him to do at least.

She wanted him to write in a journal the names of the people and families he wanted to make amends with, things he wanted to explore and try out, and good things he remembered before he was the Winter Soldier.

Darlene had kept encouraging him to keep referring to the Winter Soldier as if he were his own separate person, and not affiliated with James Buchanan Barnes.

It helped a bit with passing the blame, but not by much. He, naturally, chose the last remnant of Steve he had- his journal- to hold these thoughts.

Steve saw the best in him when he couldn't.

He made an effort to try and forgive himself for everything he did, for Steve’s sake.

Why Steve had left him, he didn't fully understand.

It didn't make the "forgiving himself" part any easier.

If his lifelong friend, who had been with him through thick and thin, decided to leave him now in this time of his broken, mutilated life, what did that say about him?

Was he wrong about him?

Did he truly believe he was worth being fixed and forgiven?

There were small moments of hope that he could be fixed, but they were few and far inbetween.

His nightmares had gotten worse.

If Darlene would ask, he’d tell her, “no, they haven't", "they've stopped", or "I haven't had one for a while.” Bullshit excuses that anybody who saw the dark circles under his eyes wouldn't believe. Darlene knew he was lying and would try to reassure him that their space was safe and it would help him to get his nightmares out in the open.

He didn't think so.

This woman didn't know what it was like to have the same horrific scenarios play out in his mind every time he went to sleep.

To see himself killing innocent people like he was in the backseat of his mind.

The blood.

Their faces, some close friends and others strangers.

Their pleas and calls for mercy were what always broke him.

He was forced again and again to witness himself taking their lives and couldn't do anything to stop himself. Forced to use any part of himself for Hydra.

Nothing was spared.

He felt unforgivable, these nightmares were a sign of the Winter Soldier still being in his head, buried and ready if Hydra got their hands on him again.

He was tired of fighting and worrying, only wanting lasting peace and a full night's rest.

He had started renting an apartment in downtown Brooklyn near where his family had lived during the 40's. It was near the church cemetery his mother, father and sister, Rebecca, were buried. They were placed in the row closest to the street behind the church his family frequented during his youth.

His parents had passed from old age when he was imprisoned by Hydra.

A small part of him was thankful for that.

They never had to learn that their son had done such horrible things.

They lived with the good memories of him.

His sister had passed during the time half the population was gone, the Blip people called it, from Alzheimer's. He visited her once before, but she was in the late stages, and was a shell of who he remembered growing up.

His little sister Rebecca, whom he protected, opened jars for, teased, and made sure the boys she liked would be good to her, was now unable to remember him. He was told she passed peacefully in her sleep a few months after he disappeared.

Darlene thought that buying an apartment so close to his family's resting place might be overwhelming for him, but he wanted to be close to them and the memories he had.

The apartment consisted of a basic floor plan; kitchen, bathroom with a shower and bath, living room, bedroom, closet. However, he only used the kitchen, bathroom, and living room.

He didn't have many things when he moved in, and didn't feel he needed all the space allotted to him.

He had invested in a modest tv set, a microwave, blender, and a camping mat, courtesy of Sam's encouragement.

He had tried sleeping on a mattress, but he felt that he was going to sink through into the floor with how soft and marshmallow-like it felt. He always slept on the floor with a few blankets and sheets.

Sam had the same experience when he came back from Afghanistan.

Sam had tried to help him adjust to things since coming back, and had done a lot for him, including to help him find his apartment and encourage him to try new things.

There were times he had trouble getting out of his headspace to return Sam's calls and initiate with his friend. Darlene had been saying that for a person who allegedly had no one left, he seemed to have a safety net in Sam. She pushed him to call someone other than her and initiate with him. It was another case where he felt she didn't fully understand how difficult it was for him to build relationships, and "get his nightmares out in the open" since coming back.

He had gotten home late that night from the store, buying ingredients to make a recipe Darlene recommended: chicken tikka masala, he thought she called it.

He was amazed at the amount of change he had missed, especially from a grocery store. His family would boil everything with what minimal spices were available, other than the usual salt and pepper. He found solace in trying new recipes and exposing himself to the technological wonders of the 21st century, including learning how to use a DVD player and the iPhone he recently bought. He tried online dating but found it was too overwhelming and made him feel like a fish out of water. Asking people on dates and seeking relationships came easily to him when he was younger before the war, but everything felt so different now.

He felt so different and foreign to himself. His arm. His mind. He felt like a shell of the person he was before the Winter Soldier.

His groceries were unloaded into the fridge and he started to prepare his dinner. He placed a bowl on the counter for mixing chicken marinade and marinating the soon to be cooked slices of chicken. The chicken slices were placed into a pan on a low heat to begin cooking. They wouldn't take long since they only had to cook halfway through initially. He gathered the spices for the marinade.

The soft smells of turmeric, ginger, cumin, and garam masala reminded him of the evenings he spent helping his mother cook during the summer. His mother would rummage together some cash every once in a while to buy a few sachets of spices from the local grocery. It was an indulgence she took part in that, compared to now, seemed simple and less of an everyday luxury.

Sure, the spices she would bring home were more mild and less "exotic" than what he had available to him now, but it was the familiar memory of being taught to cook and the soft smells of his mother's cooking.

His conscience told him to use the spices sparingly despite himself being confronted with a substantially sized grocery aisle complete with spices from almost every corner of the world a mere few hours ago.

Maybe it was his upbringing during the Great Depression and watching his parents worry about where the next paycheck would come from.

Or maybe it was his instinct telling him this small semblance of peace he had found in his Brooklyn apartment would be snatched away, and that he needed to savor every new experience in stride.

Because if he let himself enjoy them too much, it would make the snatching that much more painful.

He couldn't decide.

He finished the marinade and would have to wait an hour or two to start the sauce and cook the chicken. He placed it in the fridge and made his way to the bathroom for a shower.

The warm water felt nice on his warped, scarred flesh around his arm on his left side. The area would often become sore and plagued by knots. Sam recommended warm showers, aloe vera, a massage and spa place nearby, and Advil. The thought of people he didn't know touching his scarred flesh made him feel nervous, so the rest of his suggestions were his go to.

His scar tissue and long hair were the last physical mark of Hydra on him.

He was thankful he didn't have to see the red star that had branded him for so many years when he looked in the mirror anymore, since leaving Wakanda.

But there was still his hair.

His hair that had blood, dirt and grime stained into it for his 70 years of service. No matter how many times he showered, he knew the blood would never leave his hair or his hands. His mind would drift through waves of hopelessness in quiet moments like these more often than not.

He dried himself off with a soft towel, changed into a pair of boxers, and began to gingerly apply aloe vera to the junction where his arm met his shoulder. His shoulder was still a bit sensitive after all these years despite the enhanced healing from the serum. Shuri theorized it was because the metal cavity of his arm continuously tore through the underlying tissue. She was able to remove the bits and pieces of metal embedded in his shoulder. His arm was in the healing process, but it would take a while after years of damage even with the serum. After he finished rubbing in the aloe vera, He put on a dark t-shirt and made his way back into the kitchen to finish the sauce.

He carefully prepared the onions, garlic, and spices for the sauce the way his mother taught him to.

He couldn't help but think about how his parents and sister would have loved to have tried this recipe with him.

He could almost hear his mother's voice in his head telling him to "cut the onions a bit smaller" or "don't let the garlic and onions burn in the pan".

Rebecca's eagerness to try the sauce prematurely with a perfected pout and whines of protest when denied so.

His father's quiet yet strong presence at the kitchen table reading the daily paper and soft scolding of his sister.

Steve drawing in his journal at the dinner table on evenings when Sarah Rogers would be working late at the hospital.

The radio softly playing in the background as a soothing ambiance.

The kitchen window opened to let the aroma of the Barnes’ family dinner wander through the back alley of the apartment building, and let in the sounds of the neighbors' soft conversations, clothes oscillating in the wind on the clothes line, and car engines humming as people made their way home at dusk.

All qualities of his family's evening routine and upbringing he longed for, but took for granted in his youth.

The stark smell of overcooked onions brought him back to the task at hand, pulling him from his thoughts but leaving his buildup of emotions he felt were about to rupture. He added the heavy cream, spices, brown sugar, and let them stir with the marinated onions and garlic. He felt tears start to form in his eyes. Letting the sauce thicken, he turned the pan onto a low heat, and added the marinated chicken to finish cooking.

He placed the spatula down on the counter top with a shaky hand, placing his hands on the counter to support himself as he let out a shaky breath, blinking away tears that formed in the corners of his eyes.

God, he wished they were here with him. Steve. His mom. His dad. Rebecca.

He wished he had somebody who knew him before the Winter Soldier that could help him to pick up the broken pieces of himself and to become the person he was again.

He wished he could have said goodbye to his parents, Rebecca, and that Steve hadn't left him.

He wished he could've held his parents one last time before they passed, met the man that Rebecca fell in love with and had a family with, and fought harder for Steve to stay with him and help pick up the pieces.

All things that he couldn't do anything about now.

He wiped his tears away and returned to stirring his chicken masala. Thoughts of his family blending with the thoughts of his recipe like the spices and heavy cream in his pan as a cope. Darlene had mentioned that the recipe goes best with garlic buttered rice or naan, so he had bought ingredients for both, but opted for the naan. He turned on the oven, placed some naan from the store on a baking sheet, and into the oven before returning to stirring the contents of the pan.

He remembered Sam wanted to come over and check in on how he was settling into his apartment, sometime the next day. Maybe he would want to try some of his dish.

"Initiate, take small steps to initiate". This counted as initiating, right? He hoped so.

His chicken masala was well blended and deemed done. His naan close behind. He placed a bowl and plate on the counter, served up his recipe and naan, and sat down at his two person dinner table, and prepared to eat. Darlene had told him that making a makeshift taco with the naan tasted good if he opted to not make the garlic butter rice. He took his first bite and let himself experience each incredible flavor.

He would definitely be making this recipe again.

Maybe he could make a batch for Sam.

It would be a small way to return the favor.

He made his way through his dinner, and would start heading to bed soon. It was almost 9 anyway. Shuri told him that consistent good sleep would also help him heal mentally along with his therapy and the treatment she provided.

He made a mental note to try making the garlic butter rice, thank Darlene for the recipe, and ask her if she had any more favorite recipes he should try during his next session.

He brought his dishes to the sink, moved to the bathroom to brush his teeth, and shed himself of his shirt. Sleeping shirtless was normal for him both during the war and after getting the serum, finding that he would warm up easily and end up tossing and turning in the night.

His escalated body heat helped him to survive the frigid Siberian winters during his imprisonment, but not the mild to warm summer nights in Brooklyn.

Laying on the hardwood floor with the lights out left him with his thoughts. He remembered the nights he and Steve spent laying on couch cushions on the living room floor of his parents apartment.

The nights he and his sister would read The Hobbit under the covers of his bed when they were younger, while their parents thought they were sleeping.

He liked to sleep with the TV on at a low volume and the window opened so he wouldn't be lost in his thoughts for too long.

He didn't have as much trouble falling asleep as before. Darlene told him to take deep breaths while resting his eyes and had gotten better at it since seeing her.

Breathe in for 5 seconds, exhale for 10, and repeat till he felt calm enough to drift to sleep.

He steadily awoke hours later, feeling warm and groggy.

It was quiet.

The TV was off and the window was shut.

He was none the wiser in his hindered state of being as he lifted himself off of the floor and trudged to the bathroom, the soft sound of his bare feet pattering on the wood floor like rain drops on a window, encompassing his apartment in a soft echo.

He turned on the soft bathroom light and twisted the cold faucet on, leaned down and scooped cold water in his hand, and poured it on his face. Supporting himself by his forearms, he closed his eyes and relished in the feeling of cold on his face and cascading down his neck.

The water felt warmer now and had a distinct iron smell to it.

He opened his eyes and was met with his hands drenched in blood. Blood flowing into the sink from the tap.

He slowly turned to meet his reflection. Met with the cold, dark, blank eyes of the Winter Soldier. The blood stained leather vest, black muzzle, and the long brunette hair stained black from blood falling over his face.

He was there with him, as clear as day.

He felt a stark and deep rooted sense of fear awaken and burrow itself in his chest as he quickly retreated from the sink, pressing himself against the opposing wall. Eyes wide and breathing heavy, he felt the walls of the bathroom constricting him.

The Winter Soldier reached out his metal arm, severing the separation between the mirror and his bathroom, and brought it down onto the counter top with a resounding crack, small remnants of the cheap countertop tumbling to the floor. He lunged for the door and twisted the knob but it wouldn't budge. Desperately, he tried to break down the door, knuckles bleeding and eyes teary. He could feel the Winter Soldier getting closer to him and was too terrified to turn back and face him. He broke through the door with a splitting crack, splinters in his hands. Awaiting on the other side was a long dimly lit corridor lined with bars and cold concrete walls.

His heart stopped.

He knew this corridor.

He would always know this corridor.

He didn't want to go forward, but he had no choice. Breaking into a sprint, not looking back and praying he didn't trip over himself, he felt a sudden, strong grip on his leg, pulling him backwards. Landing on the hard concrete with a groan and turning himself to face his captor: Two dark, army clad figures awaited him. He shuffled away from them as fast as he could but couldn't get to his feet fast enough to avoid being dragged to by his feet towards the bathroom. His screams echoing off the walls, and hands burning from friction against the cement floor at his attempts to escape their grasp.

He couldn't believe what was happening, he thought he was free from Hydra.

Free from these corridors.

Free from the chair.

He felt his nails fruitlessly catching on the small ridges of the cement floor as he was mercilessly dragged. The hallway enclosed in darkness behind him and the bathroom light ahead of him, serving as a beacon of pain and suffering.

He was left on the bathroom floor, shaking and crying, accentuated by the sound of the slamming of a steel door. His teary eyes searched for the figures but found none. Instead, his eyes landed on the dull gleam of the worn metal frame in his bathtub, tinged with small droplets of blood, smoothed down edges, and strained leather straps.

If he wasn't sobbing before, he was now. He felt so trapped, his heart beating out of his chest; his lungs made of tin, unable to expand.

His shaking frame was folded on the floor by the bathroom door. A few moments of silence flooded by the drops of his sink tap and his attempts to catch his breath.

Abruptly, a handful of his hair was grabbed, his body dragged to the chair as he let out seethes of pain and cries.

He was held down in the chair as he was strapped in by faceless, dark army figures. Soft whispers and murmurs of pleas for mercy and forgiveness settled around him, originating from every vent and faucet in his bathroom, nestled their way to his ears.

They grew louder and droned out the sound of leather going through buckles and the mechanical "wrrrrr" of the head plates assembling towards the top of the chair.

He struggled and screamed, but it was no use.

Trapped in the chair, no chance of escape; Limited by his mind and not his body.

He anxiously waited and dreaded for the excruciating pain of electricity to course through his body, to hear the words Hydra spent so much time and care to drill into his mind.

But both never came.

He awoke with a startle, eyes wide, body and blanket soaked with sweat, lungs gasping for breath.

His window open, letting in his neighbors everyday routine squeeze into his apartment.

The TV on a low volume, playing auctions for nic-nacs and heirlooms people didn't find use for. All drowned out by his racing thoughts and attempts at breathing.

The blanket pooled around his waist as he shifted to lean against the wall, closing his eyes and trying to focus on his breathing.

He needed his hair gone.

Like a wounded animal, he made his way to the bathroom with shaky breaths and uneasy strides. He flipped the bathroom light on, feverishly opening and closing drawers to find what he needed most.

A pair of scissors.

A raspy sigh left his lips as his hands met the plastic frame of the twin bladed tool.

His eyes shifted from his reflection to his hold on the scissors.

Carefully, he brought his metal hand to his hair, extending one of his many locks of hair.

His eyes drifted from the lock of hair to the metal blades that almost fully encased it.

Snip.

He watched as the lock frayed till it was severed completely, feeling the freed lock in his hand and watching it fall to the counter.

A sigh of relief left his lips as tears pricked his eyes as he met his reflection in the mirror.

Snip.

His tears were flowing fully down his cheeks as almost the entirety of his left side was covered in frayed, unevenly cut hair.

He gingerly ran his flesh hand along his head, relishing in the short tufts of hair, and began repeating the same frenzied cutting on the other side of his head, and towards the back

If the tears weren’t flowing before, they were now.

He placed the scissors onto the hair ridden counter with a clang, keeping his relieved gaze on himself, feeling his chest wrack with sobs, body slowly crumbling against the sink and to the floor.

He had never felt such relief in his life.

His hands ran over the chopped hair, savoring the uneven patched of hair, his head laying back to rest against the wood cabinet below his sink, eyes fluttering shut.

Muffled knocks softly rose his mind from the depths of sleep.

He let his eyes adjust to the bathroom light, feeling his neck ache from how he slept against the drawers of the cabinet.

Sam.

He rose up to his feet with a groan, trudging to his front door.

His front door opened with a click.

“Hey, man-woah.”

He rose his eyes to meet Sam’s wide ones, giving him a small smile, “Hi, Sam.”

Sam swallowed.

“Late night hack job, huh?”

He gave Sam a tight-lipped smile, nodding.

Sam’s lip quirked.

“I, um, I made something for you if you’d like to try it.”

Sam watched as he rubbed the back of his neck with his flesh hand.

He moved from the door, leaving it open for Sam to come in.

Sam carefully stepped into his apartment, taking in the rumple of blankets on the livingroom floor.

“It’s chicken tikka masala, my therapist recommended it.”

Sam took the plastic container he held out for him.

“Thanks for this…We should go get you a haircut. You can’t be walking around Brooklyn looking like you had a blender cut your hair.”

His lip quirked, nodding.

After a few minutes, he met him back at the front door in jeans, a t-shirt, and his bomber jacket, and glove.

“Ready to go?”

He wordlessly nodded, closing, and locking the door behind them.

—

“Alright, what do you think?”

The hairdresser adjusted his chair so he could see himself fully in the mirror.

He could feel his eyes glaze over.

His previously poorly chopped locks were no where to be found, replaced by almost buzzed cut hair with a bit of length towards the top. Barely enough for anyone to get a good grip in.

“It’s perfect, thank you Melissa,” he muttered to the woman that gave him a kind smile in return.

He tried to hand the man at the cashier station some cash, but Sam interjected with his card.

He looked at Sam with slight bewilderment.

“You’ll cover me next time.”

His lip quirked, as Sam nudged his shoulder as they made their way to the exit.

He stopped in front of a window for a store on the way back to his apartment, seeing his reflection in the storefront.

And for once, he didn’t have a deeprooted distaste or fear of what he saw.

It almost made him cry.

He needed this.

His long hair gone. The last remnant of his time in Siberia, of the shackles that held his mind down under water like an anchor, gone.

Out of sight. Out of mind.

Sam stopped a few paces ahead of him.

“You wanna stop in?”

Sam’s voice broke him from his trance.

He gave Sam a small smile.

“No, just taking it all in.”

Sam gave him a comforting smile as he caught up with him.

They continued on to his apartment to give Sam some of his chicken tikka masala, running his hand through his hair periodically with a smile on his face.

#bucky barnes #marvel mcu #bucky barnes angst #sam wilson #winter soldier #mcu fanfiction #mcu #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes

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blairdrawzstuff · 7 months

Note

dearest bl

hello violet i hope this ask find you well i

so whats up with you as of late me an

i have some things to tell you, you might not like it and im sorry if

you dont have wattpad so you might not know whats going on but

me and pha francis (moonmxple) have something to tell you about neobix (no hate on him but)

like you might have known. uhhh things had have NOT been going well for neobix, cuppy and francis right now. im not gonna get into too much details about it since it's none of my business but, neobix is writing a book (and make a lil video for it. u can see in their tumblr)

its called "dead or alive". now i dont want to say anything be rude diss on him or anything, there's no issue with him quite literally write fics twice almost everyday/lh good for him. its just that this book is special since it features YOU now i dont know if they asked for your permission or not but he did "credit" you

so without futher ado. ill let the fic speak for itself (see what i did there? nudge nudge? wrong timing? okay-)

now the first chapter (it only have 1 chapter so far)

..actually you know what? lets just cut the crap, this was originally just about the fic and how you are in it. and im sorry but ive got to talk abt some stuff (inhale) he had:

1.make cuppy uncomfortable (i mean he said bezel presured him to making rubcha content but i feel like he could have handle it better, 1 is jsut a reason for 2 tbh)

2.doesnt accept that cuppy doesnt want to talk to him anymore and still kinda pester xem

3.that online/pet name post, u know the one..

4.keep writing fanfic of you guys (meaning you, cuppy and francis). like that one fic he wrote (well not rlly it jsut have notes for now) (the one he didnt credit your character for). and now this other one

5.in this fic as you can see he portrayed you guys (espically francis) as the villain who manipulate him! like i wouldnt even be okay if its your character but it's even more bad that he said its feature you guys!! the people, not even the character as you can see from his crediting.

6.he treated francis and tagging aer like friends even though he wrote aer as a bad person (which show quite clearly from his lil video in which he made for the au/fic)

yeah basically francis and is tired and so does cuppy. and i understand if u dont want to answer this ask or talk about it <3

i hope you have a nice week mac 🧡🧡

Yeah- I've been told by someone (anon) (I'ma be totally honest, I slimed through that-) anywho he/they didn't ask and it's sort of bothering me- but I'm trying to have a good birthday sooo I'm going to put it off till probably next week- I know that sounds kinda bad- but Idrk what to do about it yet... Thank you bin <3

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fandomsareforlife · 1 year

Text

KOTLC soulmate au

So, this is the Sokam fanfic that I have been talking about for a while. It kind of just ends abruptly, but that's because I am so unmotivated to finish. I might finish it eventually, but this is the entire google doc I made of it. I also included my remaining outline, and that is definitely a rough thing. This almost a year old, so I am probably a better writer. But I know that definitely wrote somethings differently than I would today. Also, the formatting is weird since tumblr is so sorry about thatz

Also, this includes some headcanons for me including genderfluid Tam (he/they/she/xe), trans Keefe (he/him), trans Linh (she/her), and nonbinary Sophie (they/them).

So, trigger warnings. This includes things like abuse (of all kinds), violence, suicide, outing someone without permission, hiding injuries and trans/homophobia. More details under the cut. Please let me know if something needs to be tag.

Now, onto the story.

Spoilers: The trans and homophobia thing comes from a term that the lost cities uses, "moonchild," that describes any elf that is LGBTQ+, and it is not seen as a good thing. Forkle, Quan and Mai, Keefe's parents are the most prevalent. Fitz outs Sophie to Della unmaliciously, and Della outs Sophie to Forkle. Also, Tam tries to jump out of a window, but is thankfully unsuccessful.

Tam hated the stories his parents told about how they were soulmates since they were thirteen. He hated the fact that they always told him and Linh that they will never meet their soulmates.

However, that didn't stop him from hoping he had one. Even if he never met them outside of the dreams they would share, it would be nice to have someone else besides Linh to care about.

His life was a mess of thinly veiled insults and threats and comforting Linh after she was hurt.

Ancients, please send me a sign, Tam pleaded as he held Linh through another nightmare.

—-

When he was eight, Keefe had a weird dream. It started out with him being in Candleshade's foyer, a room he hated with a passion. It had one of the few paintings in his home, with a painting of him and his parents. Of course, it didn't show him the way he wanted it to but he couldn't do much about it just yet.

Looking around, Keefe became more and more confused. For one, this dream was extremely realistic, with no detail out of place. His dreams were never this detailed. They also didn't feature him in the wrong body, instead putting him in the right skin, for however long his dream lasted. For another, there were two figures sitting on a set of chairs, one blonde and another black haired. They both appeared to be wearing their pajamas.

Keefe, against his better judgment, walked up to them.

"Hi, I’m Sophie, she and her. This is Tam, he and him. He doesn't talk much,"the girl, Sophie apparently, greeted. I

The boy, Tam, next to her waved his hand shyly. They both looked to be his age. However, something was off with Sophie.

It wasn't until Keefe got closer that he realized why. She had brown eyes. She was a human.

Keefe had to stop himself from gasping. This had to be a really weird dream. While he had briefly entertained the idea of being a soulmate dream, the fact that Sophie had brown eyes removed any possibility of it from his mind.

"You have brown eyes," Keefe dumbly stated. Great going Keefe, now they will never want to be your friend, a voice taunted.

"Oh. You're from the same place Tam is from, then. Um brown eyes are common where I am from. And apparently, mansions are common here. Um, if you don't mind, what is your name and pronouns? Also do you know where we are?" Sophie, who was surprisingly mature for a human her age, responded.

"Um, my house. I'm Keefe, he and him,"Keefe stuttered. He didn't know why but he felt like he could trust these two with his deepest secret, one that he had kept in the back of his mind.

"Um I am sorry but um is this place, um are you guys real?" Tam,who up until this point had been silent.

"Um yes I am real. Although I thought dream sharing didn't start until 13?" Sophie responded.

By now, Keefe had started to get his head around the idea of this being a shared dream. Maybe an elf and a human can be soulmates. That last comment was however the cherry on top.

"Well maybe we are special," Keefe tried to comfort. He really wasn't one for comforting but he was going to try his hardest.

Luckily, that seemed to be good enough for the others, simply nodded.

After a few moments of silence, Tam asked," Can we go exploring?" in a soft voice that if Keefe wasn't listening for it he would have missed it.

"Yeah we can," Keefe responded, his voice just as gently, not wanting to frighten the boy.

——

"Mom, what does dreamsharing feel like?" a young Keefe asked his mother, who was sitting in the kitchen.

"Well, child, it felt like I was in a familiar yet completely new place all at once. It was so vivid yet I had never been there before," Lady Gisela explained, not particularly patient but she didn't snap so that was a good thing.

While Keefe occasionally has trouble differentiating between a vivid dream that was of pure imagination and one from his photographic memory, he was sure he had never seen Tam and Sophie before. Even if he had his doubts at first with Sophie's brown eyes, Keefe figured he was just special.

"I think I dream shared mom," Keefe admitted, gently putting his hand on his mother's.

"She must be so lonely that she's imagining fake friends. Pathetic," was the muttered response to his admittance. "Maybe she is too broken to be my legacy."

While Keefe couldn't completely understand the last sentence, the first shattered him. While he had a habit of making fake friends, he had never made a friend as detailed as Sophie and Tam. They were real, even if no one else believed them.

—-

A while after the first dream, about two weeks, was a second. Sophie was grateful for it, both because the noise of the thoughts people had were not existent and since she got to see her only friends.

Wow, that's sad,Sophie thought.

It wasn’t like Sophie didn’t try to get along with the other kids, but between hearing everybody's thoughts and her intelligence, it was tricky. It had been years since someone tried to be her friend. It didn’t help that she could hear their thoughts and it hurts more than it should. She was just grateful she couldn’t hear thoughts in her dreams, that would make her friendship with Tam and Keefe all the more harder.

She looked around the room she was in. It appeared to be a very luxurious home, almost as much as Keefe's. There was the same amount of crystals it seemed.

"Hi, Sophie," a small voice called out to her. Sophie turned around and smiled.

Standing by the entrance to the hallway was Tam. He looked even cuter than last time, especially with his tired eyes.

"Where are we?" Sophie asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"My home. We're in the foyer right now. Wanna find Keefe and see if he wants a tour?" Tam explained, a small smile gracing his lips.

"I would like a tour but only if you want to do it," came a voice from behind them. Looking up, Sophie realized that Keefe had entered the foyer, a smirk on his lips.

Tam ran up to him, asking,"May I give you a hug?" After getting confirmation that he can, he took Keefe into his arms and squeezed him so hard that Keefe pretended to choke, but the effect was ruined by the fact that he was laughing.

Tam took Sophie's and Keefe's hands and led them out of the foyer, into a glimpse of his world.

—-

Sophie might have almost slipped up during the tour though.

They were sitting on Tam’s bed, when the boys tried asking about her day.

“Oh, it was good. My teacher pretended to get mad at me for being right on something he was wrong on, but I read his mind, and he was impressed!” Sophie cheered, jumping up and down. She was so excited she hadn’t noticed her slip up.

“Wait, read his mind?” Tam asked, leaning forward to look at her. Sophie felt the urge to tug her eyelashes out, but resisted.

“I, um, I,” Sophie stammered, her hands wringing. “I read his body language, and read some of his notes. I didn’t read his mind. I mean how would that even work right?” she laughed, even though her stomach wanted to jump out her throat.

It was clear from Tam and Keefe’s faces that they doubted her, but she didn’t care. As long as they dropped the subject it would be enough for her.

Luck was on her side and they dropped it, although they gave her glances every once in a while.

—-

Tam felt as though his heart would explode out of his chest.

His parents had tried to convince him and Linh that they should pretend that they weren't twins. It wasn't anything new. They've been doing that for as long as Linh had said she wanted to be a girl, and it was easier to pass them off as two siblings with Linh a year older.

However, after the last dream he shared with Keefe and Sophie, he wanted to change something. He was tired of living a lie, like Keefe was forced to.

However, when he brought the idea to Linh, she told him that she wouldn't follow him through with it. While Tam knew she was entitled to her opinion, he could not help but think her opinion was stupid.

Luckily, a few days after he brought up his idea to Linh, he had another shared dream.

This one started in a very basic home. It was the most depressing room Tam had ever been in his short life. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration but it was very sad compared to the, admittedly limited, places he had been in his eight years of life.

Tam suddenly remembers that Sophie didn't live in the Lost Cities. Perhaps this was her home.

"Sophie? Keefe?" Tam called out, wanting to reassure himself that they were safe.

Suddenly, a body came running up to him, and tackled him. Judging by the fact that there was maniacal laughter and a wide smirk, Tam guessed that it was Keefe.

Pushing the shorter boy off of him, and mentally reminding himself to ask Keefe why he had such long hair, Tam smiled at Keefe.

"Hi Keefe. How are you? This is a change. Where is Sophie?" Tam greeted, while definitely not blushing. It seemed he was unsuccessful if the blonde's laughs were anything to go by.

"Hi hi Tammy. I'm fine. Better with you. Yeah no Sophie is weird," Keefe responded, his voice lacking his usual enthusiasm. That alerted Tam, since although he had only known the younger boy for a little while, he had thought that he was a ball of energy.

"Hi guys," a chipper voice behind them yelled. "I guess we're in my house this time."

Standing in what Tam presumed was her night clothes, Sophie was bright eyed and bushy tail.

Forgetting to ask Keefe why he looked so sad, he allowed himself to be dragged around the house that was so different from what he was used to.

—-

Keefe was getting older, almost old enough that his parents were thinking about allowing him to get out of the house. After all, he was 10 years old.

However, there were many obstacles to overcome. For starters, he was considered a disappointment in every way imaginable. Another was that he was known as a girl, not as the boy he wanted to be viewed as.

Keefe knew what people who felt like him were treated. Other people called them moon children, both under breaths and to their faces. Keefe couldn’t choose what was worse, the hatred or the lie.

Luckily, Sophie and Tam knew. They didn’t know the whole story, but that was okay. They weren’t going to learn the truth for a while.

Keefe could not wait to dream share again with the two most wonderful people he knew.

(So what if he didn't know anyone else who actually cared about him. They still were the best.)

Luckily he didn't have to wait long. Only until he fell asleep that night.

Keefe found himself in Atlantis, a place he had never been to but he recognized it from the water surrounding him.

Keefe took a glance around, noting that he was standing in front of the matchmakers office.

(A bitter feeling rose from within him, as he thought about the fact that he would never get a match list.)

Keefe was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realize someone was behind him until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Ah!” he screeched, confusion filling his core before he realized who it was.

Poor Sophie was so terrified she almost fell. Fortunately Tam was close enough to grab her but it still was a close one.

"I don't need you to fall for me Soph," Tam teased, looking brighter than ever. "I know I am good looking. By the way, we're in Atlantis. It's like New York where me and Keefe live."

Keefe was impressed with the amount of knowledge Tam had, both of humans and Atlantis.

"Oh cool! It's really cool that you guys still have places based off of the legends!" Sophie gushed. Her hands were waving wildly, like they had a tendency to do when she was excited.

Keefe wanted to just soak up the goodness of the interaction, when Tam turned to him suddenly.

"Hey, you wanna go on a tour? I don't know if you've been here before but it's really cool," the black haired boy rushed out.

Keefe nodded, and allowed himself to be dragged along with the two other children into a world he had never known.

—-

Sophie was in complete and utter awe in the way the city, Atlantis, was.

It looked to be entirely made of crystals and the buildings were as tall as could be. There were some strange things here, like the blue fire, but she brushed it off as a very elaborate light.

"My parents took us here for shopping ," Tam explained, his voice surprisingly neutral throughout his sentence, despite the smile on his face. He was the unofficial leader of the group , leading the other two through the city that looked just like it’s namesake.

Entering one of the stores, Sophie was surprised at what she found. Instead of the usual shirts and pants she found at stores, there were tunic and some sort of jacket. It seemed to be made of leather, and had a very medieval feel to it.

"Can I go try one on? My parents won't let me wear anything like that, only dresses," Keefe asked hesitantly. He was fisting his pajama top, not looking up at either Sophie or Tam. While she did wonder why his parents would make a boy wear dresses, she passed it off as a weird parent thing.

After Tam gave the confirmation he could go, Keefe ran towards the tunics, and gestured to Sophie to come follow.

"What kind of fabric are they? I've never seen this before?" Sophie wondered out loud.

"I don't know," Tam stated, looking down at his knees.

Trying to look for a tag, Sophie realized all she could find was some odd sort of lines.

Asking what they were got her a panicked and confused expression, from Tam and Keefe specifically. The dream then suddenly faded to black, and Sophie woke up. gasping. She would later learn that shared dreams could end if one was too close to learning where their soulmate lived before they met. She cried for hours after that.

That was the first time they ended a dream on her.

—-

Tam, after two years, had gotten used to having dreams in places she had never been before.

(She had also gotten used to the knot in her stomach on some days, the days when she wanted to not be a boy, but someone. It wasn't all the time, but it hurts.)

It was a medium sized room, with about 20 of one of the most uncomfortable chairs with a desk in front of them.

Tam then realized that she was also sitting on a rug, with some strange symbols on it.

"Hi, Tam," Keefe greeted, a smile stretched across his face. He had snuck up to Tam when she was distracted with trying to figure out what those symbols were. "Is this one of your places or no?" Keefe's hands were twisting his tunic, a long black one with buttons.

Keefe quickly sat down by Tam and cuddled up to him.

"Hi Keefe," Tam greeted. "No, I think this is one of Sophie's dreams. Do you think it's some weird human thing?"

Keefe had come to Tam with his suspicions that the third member of their group was not an elf about a year ago. While there had been some evidence to the contrary, specifically the second dream shared, the fact that Sophie lived in the Forbidden Cities was enough to cancel out any other possibilities. They had decided to not say anything to her as to not hurt her feelings, since they would never meet, or accidently reveal something was amiss.

Just then, Sophie walked up to them, from somewhere. She then sat on the floor by Tam and gave her a big hug.

"This is my school. We're learning about right triangles and it's really fun!" Sophie chirped, a smile on her face. "Of course the other kids are kinda mean since I am two years younger than them, cause I moved up two grades," she then frowned, obviously upset about that fact.

Tam was still confused. Sophie was only eight, why was she in school so early. Although she had mentioned that she was with kids two years older, that still didn't clear anything up.

"Why are you in school when you're so young?" Tam blurted out, interrupting Keefe's interrogation as to what right angles were.

"We start school when we're five, what do you mean young?"

Keefe cleared his throat. "Well, where me and Tam are from, we get homeschooled until we are about eleven, which we then start school with other kids. Only, I think our school has only one desk in a class, since we have one mentor for a prodigy."

Sophie's expression was so confused it almost made Tam laugh, but she decided to take pity on the blonde girl.

"How do your teachers deal with," Tam quickly counted the amount of chairs,"25 kids?"

Sophie laughed and confessed she had no idea. They laughed, when Keefe started coughing.

"Are you okay?!" Tam and Sophie cried out, concerned about their friend. (Well you want him to be something more, taunted the voice inside of Tam's head).

"No."

"Do you need something?"

"Yeah, for this to get off my chest." Keefe then tugged his tunic off, showing a tight cloth around it, binding his chest flat.

Sophie gasped, and immediately started lecturing him about how unsafe this was, and forced him to take off the bandages. Tam also helped, even though he felt numb. Why would his soulmate do this to himself?

Eventually, they managed to calm down enough that they could get in a comfortable position. They ended up with Tam sitting on what Sophie called a beanbag, Keefe on her lap, and Sophie sitting on the edge.

After some gentle prodding, they managed to get Keefe to open up.

"Because it is just too much. And, And if my mom found out then she's going to start harping on me about being a girl... I'm not a girl. But if I say something I'm going to be in big trouble,"Keefe gasped through his sobs. He was wearing his tunic again, and wrapped his limbs around Tam.

Tam noted that Sophie was at a loss, but he knew what Keefe was talking about. It wasn't a well known fact, but in the lost cities, anyone who wanted to be a different gender was not treated the best. They were almost as bad as twins if they were talentless, but just as bad if they had an ability. This was because they couldn't have children, so they were less likely to be matched. She still remembers the times her parents would yell at Linh about being a moonchild.

Tam pushes those thoughts out of her head, and focuses her efforts on Keefe. She also promised to make sure to punish whoever made Keefe feel like this one day.

-----

Keefe couldn't believe he was going to do this. He was sitting on a plush sofa, across from his parents, in his room. He was close enough to smell his mother's perfume, a lilac scent. Gripping his tunic, he forced himself to make eye contact.

"Well, get with it, love," his father ordered, his eyebrow raising slightly.

Keefe forced himself to take a deep breath, through the tightness in his chest. He wasn't using a cloth to bind his chest, not after the dream he had a few days ago.

"I have something to tell you," Keefe stammered, watching his parents become more and more irritated with how slow he was taking. "I'm a moon child, and I don't care if you hate me, or if getting a match is impossible. This is who I am, and this lie that is my life is getting tiring." Tears were streaming down Keefe's face, as the emotions that were threatening to spill over spilled.

His father sighed, as he walked towards Keefe.

Placing a hand on Keefe's, he sighed,"Well. You seem to not be lying. Well, man up, boys don't cry. I'll have the gnomes make your clothing fit for a gentleman of your stature." Cassius then walks away, leaving his wife to mull over what just happened.

Keefe felt a grin, then a laugh, bubble up inside him, threatening to escape. His mind just couldn't wrap around the idea that his father would accept him with such ease. Little did he know that his father didn't truly accept him, and wouldn't for years to come.

—-

There was a bundle of nerves in Sophie's stomach. Today was the day. The day they told her the two people closest to them, besides their family. one of the biggest revelations in her life. One they haven't told anyone before.

They took a deep breath, eyes scanning the room the dream had started in for them. They were in their home again, with them being in the living room. There was a half-eaten cake, with a few presents scattered around the room. Their favorite blanket was on the back of her sofa, as though their dreams somehow knew what she would need.

A few moments passed, before Tam and Keefe walked in, holding hands. Sophie wasn't jealous of the fact they were together when the dream started. In fact, it was a good thing because it so rarely happened. Usually, Keefe would start his dream by himself.

"It repeated," Keefe stated, in what some would assume was a deadpan, but they knew that they were just giving an observation. Sophie could empathize. It was rare to have a location for a shared dream to repeat. It typically only happened in dire cases.

Tam nodded, then turned to Sophie."What's going on?" he asked softly, his eyes glancing at the cake in front of them. They couldn't blame him.

"Well, today was my birthday so we stayed in and played a lot of board games, and ate cake. Also, I have something to tell you two, but you have to promise to not hate me." There. That was a great way to start this conversation.

Keefe nodded, then asked,"Do you want us close or far away from you?" Sophie thought for a moment, weighing the pros and cons. She then gestured for them to sit on one sofa next to them, which they did.

"So what's going on?" Tam asked surprisingly gently, his hand on their side.

"Um, well I kinda realized something recently and wanted to tell you. You know how Keefe is a boy despite not having a boy's body?" Sophie ventured, desperately hoping they didn't hate them after this. They accepted Keefe, but he fell into a nice neat little box that Sophie didn't.

"Yeah. What does that have to do with this?" Keefe questioned, genuine curiosity in his voice.

Sophie took a deep breath, and started to explain.

"Well, I don't want to be a girl, and while being a boy is kinda better, it's still not okay. Like, I'm in between two water falls, and I need to drink from them once in a while, but drinking from one too long is really bad. I know it is weird but it's how I feel. It's called being non-binary, in the human world." Sophie rushes out, their voice steadily becoming thicker with tears. They were so out of it they barely registered Tam lifting her on his lap.

"Hey, it's okay. We don't hate you. Want us to use different pronouns?" his voice soothed, although there were some tears streaming down his face. Why? Sophie thought.

"They and Them. Why are you crying?" their voice responded, after they crawled out of the mud her mind was in.

"Um, because I kinda feel like that sometimes. But not the same. It's more like I have a closet, with a lot of different clothes, some super similar, but some different. Sometimes I want to put on one thing but the next moment I want to put on a completely different thing. I'm not doing a great job at explaining it, but it's how I feel," he whispered, his hand clutching Sophie tighter. They felt Keefe's hands settle on their bodies, pulling them closer.

Sophie thought they knew what he was going through, but wanted to check first. After getting off Tam's lap, they went to grab their iPod, opening the internet. While Keefe and Tam couldn't see the screen, it still worked in their dreams.

"So, um I think I found out what you might be. It’s called being genderfluid, and it’s basically when your gender changes. I found a quiz that is supposed to help you get a start on understanding it.. There’s a bunch of questions so I am going to read them off to you and you can answer them okay?"

After getting confirmation from Tam, Sophie started reading off the questions they found. After asking all the questions, Tam put his head in his hands, and Keefe, who had been quiet this whole time, stroked his back softly.

"Do I need to make a decision now?" he whispered.

"No," Sophie and Keefe responded simultaneously.

"You can go at your own pace. If you ever want to tell us, you can," Keefe declared, his voice filled with confidence.

"Okay. I'm going to be thinking about this, so I'm going to tell you later. It's kinda sudden, you know?"

"Yeah, that's cool. I get how you feel," Keefe responded.

---

Shortly after the conversation, Tam had come to a decision. Xe were not completely sure of the term gender fluid describing xem , but it seemed to fit how xe felt. Xe were Tam Song, the rowdy spawn of Quan and Mai Song, and Linh Song's twin.

"I have an answer."

"What?" Keefe asked, from his side. They were playing Mario Kart, and he was winning.

"I think I am genderfluid. Use Xe/Xem right now, let you know if it changes,no new name," Tam smiled, feeling freer than ever.

"Okay," Sophie smiled, then proceeded to hit Keefe with a blue shell. Keefe yelled, and pushed Sophie causing them to laugh. Tam chuckled softly as a soft, bubbly filled xem right up.

—-

Linh had manifested the day before her and Tam's tenth birthday, and since then she hadn't been out of Choralmere for long periods of time. It's been ten months since she left her home for more than a few hours, since the twins could convince people that she and Tam were in fact twins. It had been an uphill battle for Tam to get her to tell other people that they weren't twins, but eventually she cracked. It was when he admitted that he told his soulmates they were twins that did it. Linh hadn't realized that he had even begun dreamsharing, and judging by Tam's reaction, he didn't want to tell her. Their scheme was only in motion for two months, up until Linh had stopped leaving their house.

However, today things were looking up. The day before was when she had her Foxfire entrance exam, in which she was able to keep control of the water long enough to impress the examiners. Her parents were so proud they promised to take both twins to a surprise place as a reward.

They had taken the twins to Atlantis, both because they needed school supplies for Linh but also because they knew that the twins were much more subdued in the bustle of the crowds.

Tam had a deathly grip on Linh's hand, as he tried to keep them close to their parents. Despite publicly being the oldest, Linh was more often than not treated as though Tam was older. He was just naturally braver.

However, Tam was holding something secret from Linh. It hurt Linh that her twin would hide something from her, which was definitely strange considering they never did before. Linh was determined to find out what.

Eventually, they made it to the bookstore, which while having a good crowd, was emptier than usual. That was a good thing for Linh's plan.

"Me and your father will get your books while you two go get some books for your free time,"'Mai told them briskly. Linh nodded rapidly, and grabbed Tam's wrist, dragging him towards the children's section, which was not very crowded.

"Linh, what are you doing?" Tam asked, irritated. He was tugging at his bangs, a nervous habit.

"What are you hiding from me?" she whispered, yelling, desperately.

"What?"

"Don't act dumb, you're hiding something."

Tam took a deep breath, as though preparing for a fight.

"You know how you're a girl, despite mom and dad saying you're a boy? I'm kinda like that, but it's different. Sometimes my mind feels like a girl, sometimes it's a boy and sometimes it's neither. It's not fun. Go ahead and laugh," Tam sobbed, almost silent.

Linh was shocked, at the idea that her twin felt that she would laugh at him for something he couldn't control.

"Hey it's okay. Do you want me to use different pronouns?"

"Um, yeah, it's She/Her right now," Tam laughed, his - no her - face ecstatic.

"So they change?" Linh clarified, feeling so much lighter than before.

"Um, yeah, but I'll tell you when they do."

Linh nodded, then grasped Tam's wrist and strolled around the book store, getting a good load of books. Linh was feeling so giddy, she didn't know how to control herself.

When they went back to their parents, they gave the twins a single look and looked away again. It hurt Linh, but she forced herself to keep going.

She should have known that was the beginning of the end.

When they walked outside of the bookstore, Linh almost cried out. The water, which usually was a mezzo forte piano and violin, was now an orchestra playing their loudest most extravagant piece, wanting to draw your attention. It was quickly becoming too much.

Tam, god blessed her soul, tried to help. She forced her shadows around Linh, which made it a bit better, but still wasn't enough.

It happened so fast, in the blink of the twins light blue eyes. Water splashed around everywhere, terrifying people. It shocked Linh's whole body.

Linh could vaguely hear the words of everyone in her ears. The yelling voices of her parents, her twin uncharacteristic soft voice in her ear, the panicking sounds from everyone else that dissolved into anger. She heard it all.

It was all mild nuisances compared to what would follow.

—-

Sometimes it was just a few days between the shared dreams, sometimes it was over a month. However, after hearing what had happened in Atlantis,Keefe wasn't surprised that he shared a dream.

It was in Atlantis. Everything was wrong though. There was water everywhere, and shops were destroyed.

In the middle of a street was Tam and Sophie. They were sitting down, Tam curled up in a ball, Sophie running their fingers through Tam's hair. Keefe walked up to them, making sure to alert them of his presence. He sat down beside them, which got both of his soulmates attention.

"They. I'm sorry, this was my fault," Tam mumbled, their eyes glazed and their voice dead.

"I don't even know what happened, so why should I hate you," Keefe retorted, cursing himself for the joking tone his voice had taken on.

"I caused this," Tam declared, gesturing with the arm that wasn't curled around their knees. They had also started rocking back and forth. Keefe wished

"I tried telling him that it isn't their fault, but they aren’t listening,” Sophie explained, their brown eyes filling with tears. Their hand was still petting Tam’s hair. It was times like this that Keefe wished he could feel their emotions. It would have made this a lot easier. However, your abilities didn’t work in dreams, annoyingly enough.

Eventually, Tam was able to calm down enough that they uncurled himself. Their face was tear stained, but no one mentioned it.

“Want to tell us what happened?” Sophie questioned, their hand still in Tam’s hair.

“No,” Tam spatted out, and turned away from them.

Keefe knew why Tam didn't want to talk about what happened. He had heard, everyone had heard, when Atlantis flooded. It was terrifying, and Tam might not want to relive those moments.

"Soph, maybe we don't force Tam to tell us anything he doesn't want to, okay?"

Sophie gulped, "Okay.”

Keefe then turned towards Tam and tried comforting him again.

"I'm sorry for being such a baby about this."

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"It's just, me and Linh have to go to trial, and we might be kicked out."

"But, your what, ten, eleven?" Sophie gasped.

"Um, ten. Technically, I don't have to go, but I do. I can't leave Linh alone. She's my world, so I need to keep her safe."

"I wish I could do something. Even if it's just changing the dream so it's happier."

"Yeah, me too," Tam sighed, his eyes looking hazy as he took Keefe and Sophie's hands.

---

The next night, Sophie dreamshared. It was different from usual, with Keefe standing next to them when the dream started.

They were in a spacious area, with what seemed to be thrones all around the room. There was little light, and benches everywhere.

In the middle was Tam, with silver bangs and a sweet lilac smell. Sophie and Keefe were wise enough not to comment, especially since there still were tears stains on Tam's cheeks.

"This was where the trial took place," Tam whispered. "They banished Linh, and I'm going with her." Sophie didn't know what happened but they felt Tam's shirt under their fingers. They felt Tam's chest heaving, with soft sobs escaping from Tam. Sophie wished that their ability to read minds still worked in the dreams.

"Will you be okay?" Keefe questioned. Sophie cursed themselves for not realizing that was a valid concern. Tam and Linh were only 10, they needed things like food and shelter and clothes. They couldn't get a job or anything. They hadn't even started school.

"Yeah. Linh and I get our own place, and we will interact with whoever brings us our food, at least for the beginning,” Tam admitted. Sophie felt their shoulders relax, and Tam started to calm down.

“So, it’s not as bad as it could be?”

“I guess, but the place me and Linh have to go to is a place for bad kids,” Tam muttered, eyes cast on the floor.

“Well, do you think you are bad?” Keefe asked.

“No, but most bad people don’t realize they are bad, so am I a good judge?” Tam whimpered.

Sophie took Tam into their arms again, “ I know I don’t like where you and Keefe do, but I want you to know that I think you are not evil. Everyone who says otherwise is wrong. Okay. They are wrong.”

Tam gave them a watery smile,”Thank you, Sophie.”

Sophie wished she could believe Tam fully but she knew Tam didn’t fully believe it.

—-

Tam was not in the greatest of mental states.

No, wait, scratch that, his mental state was worse than Exilium. At least that had some predictability. Tam was just wild.

If one were to ask him when his mental degradation started, he would have said their first day of Exilium. However, it had started much earlier than that.

It had started the appointment with the doctor the council had hired.

Tam still felt his hands on him, his hands ghosting his body. He felt the tears filling his heart, which was still filled with them.

He remembered everything.

Tam tried to be strong in front of Linh. However she wasn’t fooled. She kept trying to get him to talk. Tam was grateful for her attempts to show she cared, it was just...

Talking would make it real. It would require it to be in the front of his mind, forcing him to confront it. No, Tam could ignore it, that would work.

It wasn’t until the next shared dream that he realized that plan wasn’t perhaps the most sane.

It started out in Keefe’s room. Due to both their age and the amount of time they had been dreamsharing (almost 3 years) the places had started repeating.

Tam was on Keefe’s desk, not an unusual place for him to start.

Sophie was on Keefe’s bed, their eyes looking at the ceiling as they kicked their legs.

“Hi Tam!” they cried, when Sophie realized that Tam was on the desk. “How ya been?”

Tam shrugged, as a soft click filled the room from his fingernails against the desk.

“Are you and Linh okay?”Sophie prodded gently, walking towards Tam. They grabbed his hands, startling him as he realized he had been scratching at them again.

“We are as fine as possible, given our situations. It’s tiring though, because our new school makes us do a lot of exercise,” Tam replied. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it wasn’t a lie either.

Sophie nodded, then turned around. Standing behind them was Keefe, in his new tunic and smelling like pine trees.

“Hi Tam, Sophie,” he greeted, walking over to them. “How are you two?”

“Good,” Sophie replied, leaning into Keefe’s gentle touch as he petted her hair. Tam couldn’t believe he was so gullible once upon a time to allow someone to touch him like that. It only hurt him.

“I’m as good as my situation allows me to be,” Tam replied. His throat was closing up, and he eyed the window across the desk he was still on.

Wouldn’t it be easier to just jump? To let go of everything? To let go of this pain?

It was the moments after that cracked Tam’s mask. It should be noted he has no intention to blame Keefe and Sophie, as this might have happened with anyone else.

Keefe tried to take him into a hug, and Tam jumped away from him. When neither Keefe or Sophie tried to touch him again, anger and desperation clouded his mind.

“Why aren’t you touching me? Is it because I am used goods? I didn't want it, okay!” Tam roared. He felt his nails digging into his hands, and barely allowed himself to register Sophie and Keefe’s gasps.

Tam ran towards the window, and pried it open. He could still feel his soulmates running towards him, but he was quicker.

Tam sat on the windowsill and pushed himself off.

What happened was not what he expected.

Instead of hitting the ground, Tam felt a gentle pull, almost like a rope on his stomach, pulling him back towards the window.

When he got back into Keefe’s bedroom, he felt both of his soulmates hand all over him, with one of them whispering sweet nothings in his ears. It was too nice for him.

“Why?” Sophie whispered, making Tam shudder with how innocent she sounded.

“Because it’s too much,” Tam muttered, causing Keefe to force Tam to look him in the eyes.

“What can you do to make it not as much?” he asked , his eyes softening as he grabbed Tam’s hands in his own. Tam resisted pulling them away.

“I don’t know. It’s, like, touch is hard. Even now it is. It’s dumb,” -Tam wiped his eyes -“but I can still feel his hands on me.”

Keefe and Sophie didn’t say anything, but Keefe does squeeze Tam’s hands harder.

“Maybe,” Sophie started,”we could start small. Asking you if touch is okay, making sure you are still here, stuff like that. Is that okay?”

Tam couldn’t believe it when he started crying. It was just...

The way Sophie looked so sincere when they said that made Tam’s heart flutter. They weren’t saying it to be polite, they meant it.

“Yeah, that’s okay,” Tam replied, trying to push the darkness away and bask in the light.

In Keefe and Sophie’s arms, he felt slightly lighter.

——

Fitz didn’t get Sophie.

It wasn’t personal or anything, it really wasn’t. It was just little things about her that quelled his interest.

For one, when anyone made references to her being a girl, she cringed. Not enough to be extremely visible, but it still was noticeable. For another, her reaction to different locations. It almost was like how Biana reacted when she started her education at Foxfire. Both girls were in awe at the sights, but weren’t shocked. Fitz figured she must have seen the places from his memories. She also seemed more curious as to how things work than the fact that elves existed.

Little did Fitz know that the mysterious girl was actually a lot more different than his predictions made her to be.

—-

Keefe's dream was shared that night.

It was in Everglen, but he didn’t go to it today. So why was their shared dream there?

Keefe had started in front of the gates, in all of its shining glory.

A few moments later, he felt a pair of arms grab his shoulders. He didn’t even need to look up to know it was Sophie.

“Hi Sophie,” Keefe greeted, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Hi,” Sophie smiled, but it wasn’t like usual. It was the smiles from when Tam was at their worst, when they didn’t really get how Tam could feel so hopeless.

“Hey what’s wrong?” Tam greeted, limping towards them.

(Keefe wanted to curse the silver banged teen, but recognized that Tam might not have the proper medical care he needed available. It wasn’t unusual for the blondes to patch Tam up, since anything injured or healed in a shared dream is mirrored in the real world. They had been able to do this more often after Linh was informed of their bond, shortly after they were banished. From what Keefe could gather, she had taken it surprisingly well.)

“Nothing,” Sophie replied. “Pronouns?” they questioned, grabbing Tam’s hand and helping them sit on the ground.

“Xe,” Tam replied, wincing as Sophie removed xer shoes (xe must have slept in them.)."Also, you are totally hiding something, so fess up.”

Keefe saw Sophie’s face fall, and heard Tam’s quick reassurances that if they genuinely didn’t want to say anything they didn’t need to.

“No, you’re right, I’m hiding something,” Sophie confessed. “It’s kind of a big deal, and it could change the entire way you look at me and I'll Understand If Hatemepleasdon't,” Sophie rushed out, chest heaving as their hands trembled around Tam’s ankle. Tam started stroking their arms, trying to get them to calm down.

“Okay, so how familiar are you two on unnatural things?” Sophie asked.

“Pretty familiar,” Tam groaned, as Sophie tried moving her ankle.

“Okay,” Sophie took a deep breath, moving their hands away from Tam. Keefe scooted to be by them, just in case.

“I’m a telepath. I have been since I was five years old and I just met another telepath today, and it turns out I’m an elf. Please don’t hate me!” Sophie rambled, hands flailing as they tried to calm themselves. Keefe grabbed their shoulders and started soothing them, eventually calming Sophie enough to have this conversation. It’s at that moment Keefe realized something. He could feel Sophie and Tam’s emotions. He decided to put that thought to the back of his mind, instead calming the others down.

“Well, you’re not the only one who is hiding something,” Tam blushed, then Keefe felt a sharp cold on his back. All of the shadows were surrounding them, covering them. He’s a Shade. Tam was twisting and flicking his wrists in such a pattern Keefe couldn’t help but be awed.

“I’m a Shade,” Tam spat out, sending the shadows back to wherever they came from.

“I don’t have anything as cool, but I’m an Empath,” Keefe confessed, shame trying to peek through but pushed down quickly.

Sophie was wide-eyed, and questions were running a mile a minute, as she patched up Tam’s ankle the best they could.

(Keefe could still remember the first time that Tam hid an injury from them. There were cuts all over xe’s arm, not all of them unwilling. Sophie would cry for years after, as would Keefe. It was also a recurring nightmare, as were many others.)

“Do either of you know Fitz? He’s the one who introduced me,” Sophie wondered.

“Um, funny story. He’s my best friend,” Keefe chuckled. With that response, he was bombarded with interrogations

“Wait,” Sophie suddenly paused. “If it’s not too hard, can you tell me what happened that day in Atlantis?”

Tam sighed, which made Keefe think xe wasn’t going to tell the story. However, xe began.

“It was technically my fault what happened in Atlantis You know how there’s force fields around Atlantis? Well, I can break them or weaken them using my shadows. That day in Atlantis was also when I came out to Linh as gender fluid, so I was letting my emotions and instincts take control and I weakened the force fields. If I didn’t, then Linh couldn’t flood Atlantis. I’m sorry,” Tam whispered, the last bit so soft if Keefe wasn’t so close he might not have known. Tam was feeling powerful emotions, but the main one, which was a cause of concern, was guilt and shame.

“Hey, listen. Tammy, you’re not allowed to blame yourself for stuff that you don’t have control over. It won't help," Keefe comforted the silver-haired teen. Tam sniffed again, but nodded, xer movement jerky.

"Sophie, if you want, me and Keefe could try and explain things to you about the lost cities. I mean, maybe I'm not the best person, but I could help with the basics," Tam offered.

"That would be great. Like, do you either know Fitz? He's the elf who brought me to the lost cities, we're at his house right now," Sophie stated. Keefe couldn't help but snort at the fact his best friend outside of the two in front of him met his soulmate before he did.

"What?" Keefe questioned, "it's funny how Sophie met my best friend before they met me."

"Fitz is your best friend?" Sophie questioned.

"Yeah, it has been for a while. I mean, we're both kinda outcasts," Keefe chortled bitterly.

Then, Sophie started laughing, which made Tam and Keefe laugh, which made Keef think that would be okay.

---

Adjusting to the Lost Cities wasn't as hard as Sophie anticipated. It did have its ups and downs, though.

For one, the elves kept preaching about how amazing they were. However, Sophie knew some of the many unfair things that the elves did with no one calling them out. They knew about how they treated anyone who wasn’t up to their high standards, and didn’t care at all about anyone except a select few people.

There were a few good things though. For one, Sophie and Keefe finally met in real life, and it was just as hysterical as they imagined. Getting accused of ditching was always fun.

“I’m Keefe,” the blond boy, who had accused them of ditching, introduced himself.

“Sophie,” Sophie replied, then mentally slapped themselves. Of course this blonde, seemingly popular boy, would have heard of her.

“Do you have a sister named Amy?” Keefe suddenly blurted out, eyes widening. Sophie was shocked at his question. Surely this wasn’t the Keefe they dreamed shared with, right? Sophie sighed, realizing there was only one way to find out.

“Yeah. Is your soulmate a Shade named Tam?” They asked, preparing for a no.

“Yeah,” Keefe whispered, realization flooding his features.

The two stared at each other, until Keefe grabbed their hand.

“What happened?”

“Accident. Had Alchemy and burned Lady Galvin’s cape and my hand,” Sophie blushed.

“No way! I Wish I could have seen it!” Keefe cheered, until he realized he was making Sophie feel bad. He then took Sophie to the Healing Center, and refused to leave until they were let go by Elwin for their next session.

Sophie was also gaining other friends, like Dex, Biana, Fitz, and, yes, Keefe. It did hurt, however, to not have Tam with them and Keefe in real life. They had been dreamsharing less and less, but Sophie wasn’t too sure of why at the time. It wouldn’t be until later they realized that the nightmares and not sleeping would affect it all.

It seemed like the elves wanted the lost cities to be perfect. They were not successful. They had so many issues, from their treatment to the Talentless to the LGBT+ community. Keefe and Tam were not sugar coating anything when they told them issues that plagued, although they were holding back some information. Sophie didn't particularly care though, since they did tell them the truth, and not a filtered down version of the truth.

It was hard, but having people to rely on was good.

----

Tam was livid. Plain and simple.

She had just been informed that Sophie and Keefe went to the Black Swan (why did they still trust them, they had done nothing good?) for a chance to heal Sophie's abilities. Of course, it went as well as expected for a bunch of dumb idiots who thought abandoning two twelve year old in London was a good idea.

“Let me make sure I have this right. You two idiots decided to go to a random island, to a weird old guy who made Sophie take an ounce of limbium, which she is allergic to, to reset their abilities. Then you two were attacked and now you get to heal Alden’s mind?” Tam questioned, hands gesturing rapidly.

The soulmates were in Sophie’s room at Havenfield, with Tam on Sophie’s lap and Keefe next to them. During her rant, Tam wasn’t paying attention to her soulmate's feelings. Now, she realized that she might have gone too far. Tam started to apologize, but Sophie spoke up.“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault you’re super overprotective of us, especially because you only have Linh otherwise. We knew the risks, and I wanted to have my abilities fixed. Also, we both knew that the Black Swan might not be all bad,” they stated, running their fingers on Tam’s arm.

“I guess, but you are still idiots," Tam mumbled, curling into Sophie.

"Yeah, but isn't everyone?" Keefe pondered. Tam shrugged, her pride still a bit hurt.

"So are you going to heal Alden's mind?" Tam asked.

"I guess," Sophie mumbled,"the council wants me to."

Tam was still mad at these two idiots, but hearing the crack in Sophie's voice made her a bit less mad, and she decided to comfort them first then deal with her anger at them later.

----

(Dex Finds Out About Keefe Being Trans)

Dex was completely and utterly baffled at the situation before him. It wasn’t the situation itself that confused him, but the fact he had gone through it twice.

Dex had gone into Keefe’s changing area during physical education to check up on him. While Dex wasn’t entirely sure what Keefe and Sophie’s relationship was, he knew having Sophie wear an ability restrictor definitely affected Keefe somehow.

However, when Dex walked into Keefe’s changing room, the only thing he could do was shut the door and stare at Keefe.

Around Keefe’s chest were layers of bandages, tightly wrapped. While it might have been an injury, Dex was sure someone would have told him Keefe was injured.

Dex was reminded of an incident when he was younger, with Rex in Keefe’s position. The technopath decided to try the same approach this time.

"Wanna tell me what's going on, or what?" Dex tried to joke, but he really wasn't the jockey type with something this serious.

Keefe slammed his shoulder into his mirror, breath erratic. His eyes were panicked, and Dex had a bad feeling that he was one of the few people in Keefe’s life who wouldn’t hate him.

“No, thank you,” was the cold reply Dex got. It was an out of character move for Keefe that Dex didn’t realize the other elf had put his shirt on.

“Okay, fine. You’re not going to answer my questions verbally. How about I give you yes and no questions, and you just have to nod your head? Sounds good to you?” Dex hopes that the prospect of not needing to talk would convince Keefe to answer more honestly.

Keefe hesitated, but eventually nodded. Dex hopes they won’t be noticed for being late.

“Have you done this before?” A nod.

“More than a year?” Another nod. Shot.

“Do you always do this?” Nod.

“Even while sleeping?” Dex whispered. Thankfully, Keefe shook his head.

Dex took a deep brea and asked the question he knew Keefe was dreading

“Are you a moon child?” Keefe didn’t move for so long, Dex almost repeated himself. However, Keefe nodded, but it was as though he was weighed down by a bag of rocks. Tears fell from Keefe’s eyes, but the other boy made no movement to remedy that. The blonde’s chest heaved, as he tried to keep his sobs silent.

(Dex cursed whoever it was that forced Keefe, his soulmate's best friend, to learn how to keep quiet when he was in pain.)

Dex hesitated, but walked towards Keefe, taking him into his arms. He felt Keefe tense, but slowly relaxed. His breathing even out, as did his sobs.

“‘m sorry,” was the first words Keefe spoke in ancient times. Dex was surprised no one came to find them. “Don’t tell anyone. You and Sophie are my only friends who know.”

Dex was shocked. It wasn’t just at the fact that Keefe thought Dex truly hated him that much to out him, but the fact that he also considered Dex his friend. Keefe always was teasing him and pranking him.

“Is that why you are always pranking me? Because we’re friends?” Dex asked, pulling away. Keefe’s cheeks turned pink, but nodded softly.

Dex laughed, and gave the other boy another hug, then realized something.

“Why does Sophie know?” In response to that, Keefe backed up against the sink, and shook his head.

“It’s personal, isn’t it?” A nod. That made sense actually. If it was personal to either Sophie or Keefe, of course they wouldn’t share it without the others permission.

Eventually, a knock was heard from the door.

“Okay, listen, I get you two are in love with each other, but session is over. Get out,” came the smooth accent from Fitz Vacker.

“Fiiine,” Keefe sang-singed, pulling his shirt back on.

They exchanged one last glance, and left.

------

(The gang is at Alluvetere (The common room in the boys' treehouse is decorated like a campsite, complete with indoor trees, a ceiling glittering with stars, and an enormous fire pit in the center with flames that burn in every color of the rainbow along with a few boulder shaped bean bags.))

Keefe was scared and he wasn't afraid to admit it. After all, he had come out of tricker situations.

Of course, none of them involved him going on the run into the forbidden cities cause his soulmate did something completely unforgivable in the eyes of the public.

He didn’t blame Sophie, it was just that he wished they didn’t have to deal with all the stuff that they had to.

Of course, it wasn’t like Keefe didn’t also have some emotional trauma from his mom being evil. That would be fun to unpack whenever the next shared dream may be.

Currently, he was in the treehouse he was supposed to share with Dex and Fitz. Keefe silently thanked whoever gave him the luck to not be in the girls’ treehouse.

“This is so cool!” Dex cried, circling around the fire. “You guys never had to live with my siblings. It. Was. Torture,” Dex singsonged. He was leaning on the bean bag, his head tilted back.

“Hey, I call shower first,” Keefe yelled, walking towards the bathroom door. He got an affirmation from both Dex and Fitz that it was okay as he walked into the door.

Keefe leaned against the door, taking a deep breath. Or, as deep of a breath as possible. His chest ached, from the tight bandages around it. Keefe knew it wasn’t safe to wear any sort of binders for more than 8 hours, but he couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t risk having Fitz find out. It was bad enough Dex knew. If anyone else found out, Keefe thought he would die.

The empath covered up the mirror and turned off the lights. He had dealt with this enough to know that the inability to see himself would make the whole situation that much more bearable.

Quickly taking a shower, Keefe walked towards the trees. He was debating on whether or not forcing someone to cut his hair would be worthwhile.

He then paused, almost falling backwards. What was in front of him made his cheeks tingle.

Dex was kneeling on Fitz’s lap, and he was sobbing into the teal-eyed boy's shoulder.

Keefe backed away, wary of the branches.

It wasn’t his business. They probably were going to tell him in their own time, and Keefe wasn't going to pressure them.

------

(Sophie freaks out to Tam And Keefe about becoming Cognates)

When Sophie was given the reveriebells by Calla, she was dishearted at the idea that they wouldn't get to dream share that night. While they had stayed up all through the night before, they tried to avoid it at all times.

Thankfully, the reveriebells didn’t affect their ability to dream share.

This particular dream was in Alluevetere, and Sophie was on top of the table in the communal dining room.

“Will you read it?” came a voice from behind her, accompanied with footsteps. Sophie turned around, and felt her heart quickened.

Tam was currently getting a piggyback ride from Keefe; with Tam in his Exilium uniform and Keefe in a red version of her green fuzzy onesie.

“Why?” was Keefe’s reply to Tam’s begging.

“Cause you’re sooo good at it,” replied Tam, a grin on his face. The Shade then leaped off of Keefe’s back and climbed onto the table with Sophie.

“Hi, Sophie. Xe,” Tam whispered into their shoulder, as xers arms wrapped around Sophie. Sophie felt relaxed for the first time all day. Tam and Keefe’s hugs were the only ones they could stand for more than a few seconds. They had this way of hugging Sophie around their shoulders and slightly squeezing to make them feel secure but not surrounded. Most other beings struggled with that.

“Temperature on the feelings thermometer?” Sophie asked, gently pulling away from Tam. They sat down on the table, and guided Tam to lay on her lap.

The feeling thermometer was a technique Sophie’s old councilor used with Sophie. She had a picture on her wall of a thermometer, and every time Sophie was in her office, the first thing she asked was their temperature on the feelings thermometer. One was the best mood ever and ten meant Sophie was going to boil over.

While Sophie disliked their councilor, they could acknowledge that the feelings thermometer, while cheesy, was a good idea. It was specially helpful for when one of the trio was nonverbal, or on the verge of collapse.

”I’m a 5,” Tam mumbled, grabbing Sophie’s hand. They rolled their eyes, realizing that they wanted to be petted. This wasn’t an unusual request from Tam, as well as other touches. While xe apparently wasn’t as touchy during the day, xe was during the dreams. Sophie’s heart warmed at the idea Tam trusted Keefe and Sophie enough to relax.

“Can we do anything to help?” came Keefe’s voice, startling the other two.

“No, but maybe you can help yourselves by asking whatever you’re not,” Tam replied, pulling xer head onto Sophie’s shoulder.

Sophie felt their faces heat up. Keefe gave her a glance, one that comforted Sophie more than they wanted to reveal.

“Fitz and I are cognates,” Sophie blurted out. “I mean, the Black Swan said we could try training to become Cognates.”

Tam’s eyes widened as he wrapped xemself around Sophie.

“Do you want to be Cognates? It requires you sharing everything with each other,” Tam reminded Sophie, as xe kneeled in their lap, arms wrapped around their neck.

Shoulders shuddering, Sophie replied,”I know. I want to be Cognates with Fitz, but I wanted to check if you two think it’s a good idea.”

Keefe spoke up,” I am game. It’s just that one of us needs to tell Fitz about us being soulmates.”

Tam threw in xer two cents,”Yeah, that’s what I was going to say. Also, he will know about all of us being moon children and our childhoods. Are you sure that’s okay with you Keefe? Because I want Sophie to have this opportunity but if you think it wouldn’t work say something.”

Keefe looked conflicted. “It just that we never get to talk about a lot of issues from our childhood, so Fitz might get the wrong idea about what happened.”

That was a good point, A very good point. Sophie loathed to admit it, but their soulmates had a point.

“So why don’t we talk about it?” Let everything out,” Sophie suggested, not expecting to be taken seriously. To Sophie’s surprise Keefe and Tam nodded.

“Okay, but how?” Tam asked, pulling Keefe to sit next to Sophie. Xe then laid down on their laps. Xer hair was by Keefe, who took the opportunity to play with it.

“How about we ask each other questions?”Sophie replied, mentally coming up with as many questions as possible.

“Can I ask first?” Tam requested, cuddling closer to them. After getting a confirmation, xe took a few moments to presumably deliberate xer question..

“Okay. Got it. What scares you the most?”Tam’s voice trembled.

Sophie had to think about that one, truly thinking about it.

“Trusting my mom again. It’s dumb, but sometimes I miss her,” Keefe whispered, looking at Tam’s side. It was abundantly clear he was ashamed of it. Sophie grabbed the blond’s chin and forced him to look them in the eyes.

“I know it’s a lot to deal with, and I know it’s scary to think that she might make you trust her again. But you are stronger than her. The fact you love her means that you aren’t all bad, okay? It just means your emotions haven’t settled down about it. But you are not your parents. You’re so much more than they will ever be,”Sophie reassured Keefe. It was clear their words hadn’t penetrated through the hard shell Keefe put up, but Sophie was determined if nothing else. They made it a goal: reassure Keefe he is not his parents. It would take a significant amount of work, but Sophie was nothing but determined.

“What about you, Soph?” Tam asked, voice muffled by Keefe’s pant leg.

Sophie felt their heart race, as they tried to figure out something to say.

“We won’t hurt you,” came a voice in her ear. “We’re not the Black Swan.”

Sophie forced their breath to slow down, and reached to pull an eyelash out. Keefe grabbed their hand, and he held it tight. That was something they were trying out, to see if it helped with the eyelash pulling. So far, it had not.

“My greatest fear is of sleeping.” Sophie’s voice was so soft they weren’t sure if they actually spoke out loud.

Tam had pulled xemselves up from their laps, and gave Sophie a hug.

“Why?” was the question. It was said in such a way that it didn’t demand to be answered.

“Because, because every time I try to sleep, except for this-“ Sophie gestured around-“I have nightmares. And I refuse to take Sedatives, I spent enough of my life drugged up.”

“That’s fair,” Keefe responded his hands threading Sophie’s hair. “What about you,Tam?”

Tam’s face paled, and he bit his lip.

“It’s...dumb. I’m scared of adults, but especially authority figures,” the Shade stammered out. Sophie felt xer hands grip theirs.

“Is this something to do with being banished?” Keefe asked. Tam nodded, and xe tugged xer bangs.

“When we were banished, the doctor... touched me somewhere I didn’t want to be touched. I felt so icky that I still have nightmares.” Tam was visibly trembling at this point, and furiously trying to wipe xer tears away.

Sophie scooped up the Shade into their lap, and they made sure Sophie could look into xer eyes.

“As long as I have breath in my body, I will never hurt you.” Sophie’s words were punctuated by a squeeze from Keefe, who was surprisingly quiet.

“Can I ask the next question?” Keefe asked, hands twisting.

“Of course,” Sophie responded.

All of a sudden, a voice yelled.

“Tam, wake up. We’re going to be late!” a high voice yelled.

Tam blushed, pushing xemslf off of Sophie’s lap.

“That’s Linh, it’s time for Exilium to start,” xe explained, running off into the distance.

Sophie closed their eyes , bracing themself for the inevitable nausea that came from ending a shared dream before it naturally ended.

When Sophie woke, they forced their tears to fall silently.

——

(Cognate training. Fitz finds out about Sokam)

Fitz had to admit he thought Sophie would be more excited for Cognate training. After all, it was an amazing opportunity and they would have an even better chance of beating the Neverseen.

Of course, her unenthusiastic response might have been caused by everything she must be going through. She had the stress of being a member of the Black Swan, Keefe, and a lot of other things. She also probably recently started dreamsharing. Fitz knew that when you started dreamsharing it could feel a bit embarrassing admitting who you’re dreamsharing with. Especially if your families didn’t get along.

Like me and Dex.

Fitz had to admire how collected she was in the face of all this stress.

The young telepath shook his head, for he was suppose to focus on the Cognate trust exercise Sophie and him were supposed to be doing.

Fitz looked at the list of questions that Granite gave them. He seemed very conflicted about giving it to them but eventually gave it. It was a short list, with only two questions. Both pertained to soulmates, and that was a topic they had never discussed before.

Fitz asked Sophie for permission to enter her mind which she allowed. There was more resistance to his entering than usual, but it was brushed off as a side effects of nerves.Although, they had been doing this for a while so Fitz wasn’t entirely sure why she was nervous.

“Do you want to ask first or should I?” Fitz asked with the respect he knew Sophie deserved. Even before he had started dreamsharing with Dex, Fitz always tried to give Sophie a good deal of respect.

“You ask first.”

“If you have started dreamsharing, describe your soulmates.”

Fitz felt a surge of panic flow from Sophie, and was about to call off the question. It wasn’t like he was completely thrilled about this question either.

“Fitz, I need to tell you something. And I need you to not freak out,” Sophie begged.

Fitz assured her that he wouldn’t freak out. The panic Sophie was feeling ebb and flowed as she gathered her thoughts. Fitz gave her time.

“I’ve been dreamsharing since I was eight years old. And I have two soulmates. One is attending Exilium and the other one is Keefe.”

Fitz wouldn’t lie. He was not expecting that.

He also wasn’t as mad as most people expected. There had been some theories bouncing around regarding Keefe and Sophie’s relationship.

“If it makes you feel any better, my soulmate is Dex.”

“Are you freaking joking?” Sophie yelled, as her emotions became much more positive.

“Nope. Are you?” Fitz shot back.

“Unfortunately no,” Sophie stated. Then, she proceeded to read the next question,”What’s one thing only your soulmate knows?”

Fitz felt his insides squirm as the image of bruises on his shoulders as Dex tried to help him arose.

“Wow,” was the only thing Sophie said, as she pushed energy towards Fitz.

An image of a younger Sophie and two boys formed. Sophie was handing the two boys bracelets. One bracelet was blue, pink, and white while the other was (insert colors of gender fluid flag). Sophie has a similar bracelet, but it was in (non-binary pride colors)

“What are you guys doing?” Fitz asked softly, as the levels of panic ebbed and flowed.

“Humans have this thing called Pride, where they honor the lgbt community. The bracelets were in the pride flags for our gender identity,” Sophie explained, although she was incredibly anxious.

“What is the lgbt community? And what are gender identities?” Fitz questioned, for his curiosity was peaked.

“Gender identities...they’re basically are what gender you identify as. For example, if you might have parts that are assigned female at birth but feels like a boy. That’s called being transgender, trans for short. Or someone doesn’t feel like a boy or a girl, and that’s non-binary. It’s massively more complicated, cause there’s genderfluid, agender, demigender, bigender,, and a lot more, but that’s a crash course, "Sophie explained.

“So it’s like being a moon child? Are you one too?”

”It’s kind of being a moon child, I guess. And yeah I am a moon child. Nonbinary specifically, and I use they/them pronouns. Are you going to blow up now?” Sophie got incredibly defensive at that last part.

“No, no, no I’m not going to hate you. If you want me to I won’t say anything,” Fitz promised. Sophie calmed down at that and exited his mind.

“Thanks Fitz,” she told him. “Just know if you hurt Dex I can and will prank you to the max.”

“I expect that and will reciprocate if you do anything to harm Keefe,” Fitz promised, and he walked back towards the boys treehouse.

He had a lot to think about.

Fitz walked towards his mom's room. He should definitely tell her about this. Maybe she could help Fitz with coming to terms with this.

Della promised to tell Forkle, and thank Fitz for telling her.

——

(Keefe with fathomlethe)

Keefe couldn’t keep up with the influx of thoughts coming into his head. His hand was sore from all of the writing, but he forced himself to keep going.

Keefe didn’t know how long it had been since he took the fathomlethe, but he knew it had been days. Days since he left the room he was undeserving of for more than meals. Days since he had seen the walls of said room.

Keefe knew he should leave. Leave the madness of everything, and allow himself to recuperate. But he couldn’t allow himself to. To do so would be admitting weaknesses he tried to hide.

A harsh knock startled Keefe.

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” a voice yelled. A voice Keefe was so painfully familiar with it hurts. Sophie Foster.

Keefe rose up on unsteady feet and made his way to the door. Sophie ducked under him, and froze.

Keefe wished that he didn’t know why they froze. The reality of the situation was that his room was like Tam and Linh’s room at their parents house only this was slightly more disturbing. There was notes with questions everywhere not drawings. He also had very little belongings scattered around, unlike Fitz and Dex, so that just made the room even more impersonal.

“So...wanna tell me anything?” Sophie asked, their voice so even, if it weren’t for the unease flowing off of them, Keefe would have been fooled into believing they weren’t disturbed by this.

Keefe mumbled,”I got a surge from the fathomlethe, but almost everything was me just fooling around.” Sophie nodded, and they walked towards one of the walls, and Keefe had to restrain himself from yanking them away.

“It’s a lot to go through. Photographic memory and all,” Keefe stated, even though it was super obvious, because he needed to fill the space. Sophie, thankfully, didn’t comment but just kept looking. They were so furious but determined at once Keefe couldn’t keep his eyes off them. He was about to tell Sophie that he wouldn’t be made if they left when they spoke up.

“Can I help?”

Keefe couldn’t help the warm feeling that shot through his heart. But he had to shake his head.

“I don’t know how. It’s my memories, and you got a sanitized version of my childhood,” Keefe replied.

“So? I’m a telepath. Wouldn’t it make more sense to use a memory log so it is all in one place? Not that scraps of paper with scattered ideas don’t have their benefit,” Sophie countered. That was a good idea.

Unfortunately.

Keefe shook his head, but Sophie wasn’t having that.

They pulled Keefe into their lap, and whispered,”Let me help you.”

“I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“You know, that’s what I used to say. Until someone forced me to include them,” Sophie teased, but it had a glint to it that removed any bitterness in Keefe. Keefe breathed in trusting that it will be okay for a moment.

“Sounds like a genius? Are they shockingly good looking even with dumb bangs?” Keefe asked. He knew that Sophie liked Tam more, but he would take what he could get.

“No, but he is good looking but also pretty stupid. I’m talking about you, Keefe,” Sophie gave him a confused look.

“Why?”

“Because you were there for me when I had to heal my abilities, and when I was going to kill myself about Alden. You and Tam are so important, and I am trying so hard to get to Tam. But I want to help you. May I?”

Keefe couldn’t help it, and a sob forced itself between his lips. A broken cry escaped his lips.

“Please. Don’t. My head is not in an awesome place right now,” Keefe admitted. Shame filled up in his head, but he knew that it needed to be said.

“So? I’m used to not great minds. Remember all the times I had to go through broken minds? And Lady Galvin?” Sophie tried to convince him. They pointedly did not mention King Dimitar.

“Great, I have a mind like a psycho.”

“I’m saying you can’t surprise me.”

Keefe distantly felt him being put down, and Sophie got up to look at the wall. His chin was suddenly tilted up. Sophie was holding a piece of paper, and on it was Who am I. “Easy question. You’re Keefe Sencen. Prankster extraordinaire. Master of mischief. The elf embodiment of Hermès. The best boy a non-binary and gender fluid messes could ask for.” The statement was said was with so much conviction that Keefe felt compelled to believe with and let down the weight on his shoulders. “You and Tam are not messes,” Keefe protested as he was hauled up to his feet. He couldn’t stay upright by himself , however, so he collapsed onto Sophie. “I don’t know about that, but I do know that you need to sleep,” they chided, as they guided him to bed. “I don’t know if I can,” Keefe whispered. Sophie nodded, and silently made their way around the room tearing paper down. Keefe took a deep breath before closing his eyes.

Maybe it won’t turn out okay, but he wanted to be the best soulmate he could before his time ran up.

-----

(Tam realizes Sophie and Keefe are at Exilium) Tam had a feeling about this day. It wasn’t clear if it was good or bad. The last time xe had felt this was when the plague struck. The day had started with Tam shaking Linh awake. Xe normally didn’t need to go wake xer twin, but today she had been dreamsharing with her soulmate, Biana, so she slept in. Thankfully, they were able to get to Exilium in time, but they couldn’t even get to the torture because of there being a Dividing for five kids. Five. How they managed to get five kids at once was a question in its own right. It was a standard Dividing test, albeit with five people, for Tam at first. It only got weird when one of them talked. It sounded exactly like Keefe. The Keefe voiced one fell down with his pants still attached to the rope along with his boot. He took it such good stride Tam felt like he was hallucinating. Another one fell, and then one shouted. “It’s Biana,” Linh whispered, her voice trembling. She sounded so sure of herself Tam had to believe her. Another one got free by backflipping and went to help the last one. When the last one spoke, Tam felt xer breathing freeze. That was Sophie Foster. Xe would bet his birth fund on it. “I think our soulmates are here,” Tam shadow whispered to Linh.She was trembling so much she looked like she would pass out, but she gave a shaky nod. “Why didn’t Biana tell me?” Linh questioned, through the shadows. “I don’t know.” There was a fire raging in front of them, and the last one, presumably Sophie, was in the center. “Oh, no you don’t,” Linh whispered out loud as she flung her hands up. Water flowed according to her directions, and it formed a bundle of protection around Sophie. Gently setting Sophie down, Linh grasped Tam’s arm. Xe couldn’t blame her. If it weren’t for the fact xe had to be brave xe would have been grabbing her arm first.

Two of the five were led away to the healing tent while the twins and everyone else were to stay standing.

------

(Keefe, he is taken to meet Linh and Tam for the first time)

Tam couldn’t believe Linh and his soulmates had been at Exilium for over a week. He had believed that they would have managed to get out of it either by willingly leaving or being ejected. He had hoped not, for even though it was grueling work for them they were still there.

Tam knew that today was going to be a bad day as soon as he saw the tents and lake.

Gently, he broke the news to Linh, and she took it better than expected. She just nodded and shakily went to go change. Coming out of the tents, the twins walked over to the water. This time…wasn’t as bad as usual. Nothing had been destroyed, at least, like last time.

Of course, it was still bad. Linh could barely tolerate being even sitting in the water and still having the ability to breathe. Putting her face in the water was to much.

Tam had no idea how long it was until Sophie reached out to them. Their offer to help Linh made Tam internally laugh. The obliviousness needed to not realize you are literally talking to your soulmate was hilarious.

Eventually, Tam felt himself being lifted up from the water, and the coach shouting there was a new record. Tam helped a shaky Linh out of the water as he worked up the nerve to ask her a request.'

“Whatever it is, spit it out,” Linh admonished.

“If I was to ask Sophie to come to Wildwood with us, would that be okay?” Tam shadowed whispered. He couldn’t say why them and not Keefe or Biana, but he knew it wasn’t be the right choice.

“Okay,” Linh replied with no hesitation. Her easy response made Tam want to melt into a pile of happiness. He restrained himself though, for it would not be proper for him to fall apart before asking a pivotal question.

When Tam asked Sophie if they wanted to come with the twins, he didn’t believe they would. Just goes to show how nice they were. Foot steps came from behind him, and there was a figure behind him. “Are you taking Sophie with you?” the figure asked. Tam’s breath caught . That was Keefe.

Linh nodded, as she stepped up. “Yes. You can come with us,” she whispered as she grabbed Keefe’s hand.

Sophie came running up to them. Tam grabbed Sophie and Keefe’s shaking hands, as he whispered, "Are you sure you’re ready?” He felt their hands still. “As we’ll ever be,” Sophie whisper back. Linh held up the leaping crystal that had been theirs for so little time, but it felt like eternity. Stumbling as they landed, Tam guided Linh away as Keefe and Sophie reoriented themselves.

“Where are we?" Sophie asked. "Introductions first," Tam stated, pulling off his mask and lowering his hood. Shaking his head, Tam waited for Sophie, Keefe, and Linh to do the same.

"Are you Tam Song?" Keefe blurted out, and shock filled his features. Tam smirked as he stalked up to the blondes. "Maybe. Shouldn't you know? You are supposedly his soulmate," Linh shot back as she walked up to them again.

"In our defense, Tam never mentioned he was in Exillium. Although we probably should have guessed from the fact you always wore the same thing all the time," Keefe tried to defend him and Sophie, but he was so pathetic Tam took pity on him.

"And before you ak, yes, this is where me and Linh stay. Don't blame yourselves for not doing something about it. I never could tell you because then we would have been woken up and we couldn't talk about it," Tam stated. He knew his soulmates. They tried to take the task of everyone being safe, healthy, and happy very seriously. "It used to be beautiful. We felt so lucky to find it. But that was before the gnomes fell ill," Linh whispered, twisting her hands so hard Tam thought they would break.

"This was the wildwood colony, wasn't it?" Keefe asked, his voice so soft that Tam wanted to scream at him to be quieter. "Yeah. It was nice when they were here. They brought us dinner everynight and I fell asleep to their songs," Linh whispered as she brushed a vine. "Do you two know what happened to them?" "They're in quarantine and alive," was all that Keefe offered. "Were you two the teenagers they found footprints of?"

"Who's they?" Tam questioned, eyes instinctively narrowing. He couldn't truly allow his guard down even if he trusted everyone here. "The council. They're investigating after the frst gnomes came to at Lumeneria."

“Well, they didn’t do a good job at it. They just poked around a bit and left. They didn’t even ask us about the lights,” Tam shrugged. “We’ve been seeing white flecks for a while now, before the plague. They come from across the border, so investigations are hard to do.” “The ogres? Like in Ravagog?” Keefe questioned. He looked pained, and Tam had to fight the urge to wrap him and Sophie in a hug so tight they’ll never get free from it.

“Yes. The pass to it is through there,” Linh stated, pointing towards the mountains.

“Do you think the lights are connected to the plague?” Sophie asked. Tam was surprised at how openly curious they were being. Tam figures Sophie tried to hide her curiosity from others usually. “Maybe. We don’t know,” Linh replied. “Are you always this curious?”

“Is that a bad thing?” Sophie questioned, getting defensive. “Maybe. You’re trying to help the gnomes though so I can’t say. Kind of like you helped me. You must think I am so dumb, by the way. I’m a hydrokinetic afraid of drowning.”

“Abilities don’t mean everything,” Sophie started sagely. “Says the one with four abilities. How exactly did you guys get banished?” Linh questioned. Her voice sounded perfectly neutral. Tam knew how confused she was, however. She still was his twin, after all.

Keefe shrugged. “We finally gave the council a good reason to.” “Did Tam tell you why we’re banished?”

“Kind of. He told us that everyone blamed you for flooding Atlantis, but it was really him destroying the force fields,” Sophie explained. They were fidgeting with their uniform. Linh raised an eyebrow, and she leaned back. “I’m impressed you three trust each other enough to-“ Suddenly, the branches bristled making them all freeze. It was just the wind, though. “This way,” Linh grabbed Tam’s wrist and she led them towards the river.

Grabbing the quilt they had made, the twins settled down on it. So did Sophie and Keefe. “I’m sorry,” Keefe rushes out. “I’m sorry for not realizing how bad it was for you two. I’m sorry for not getting help for you two. I’m so sorry.” By the end of his confession, Keefe looked like he was on the verge of tears.

“Why? You two didn’t do anything wrong. I couldn’t tell you about how bad it is, for if I did then we might not have dreamshared again for weeks, maybe over a month. You two know how much we tried to tell each other, but it doesn’t ever work. I can’t blame you guys cause I made sure to not tell you anything.” By the end of his triad, Tam felt Linh gripping his arm, but he forced it off.

“Tam,” -Linh gripped his arm even tighter this time-“Are you sure you are okay? Can you trust them?” Tam knew she was only trying to help, so he pushed his anger down.

“I know I can. If you don’t trust them, I’ll read their shadow vapor again,” Tam reassured Linh, but something in him revolted the idea that he had to do that again. Last time, it did not go well. Keefe seemed to remember the same particular accident if the way he paled was any indication.

“If you have to check our shadow vapor, I give you permission to do so,” Sophie stated, fierce authority in their voice. Back straightened, they reminded Tam of when he first met Sophie. They were loud and grabbed his hands despite how scared they were.

“Okay,” Tam whispered. He raised his hands and forced the shadows through their minds. Surprisingly, neither of them reacted as terribly as before. The results were also the same. “Now, you two need to know what I’m about to tell you is treason. If you want to leave, I won’t be offended,” Tam explained.

““When the Council was here gathering samples, they didn’t think I could hear them. But I used my shadow to carry my consciousness to where they were working. I couldn’t tell which Councilors it was—only that it was a male and a female. And the female Councilor said, ‘We should’ve warned them this could happen.’ Then the guy said, ‘No one can know.”

Tam braced himself for the yelling and the tears, but he did not expect a single gasp.

“How could they?” was the only thing Sophie said. “If the Council knew what was going to happen, why didn’t they say anything?” “We all know the Council is good at cover ups. They didn’t even try to make sure all the banished kids would be safe. They don’t care,” Tam growled. “Because they don’t care, no one else will either.” It was a sad but true thing in the world that they all were aware of.

“Doesn’t this violate the treaty with the gnomes? The Council is supposed to protect them, but they are just hurting them by withholding information,” Keefe stated wisely.

Tam had no happy response to that. Keefe was unfortunately right. The Council was not the perfect leader and never will be. “Is there anything else we need to say to each other?” Linh asked, perfectly poised.

“Linh? Can you move like four meters that way?” Tam whispered as he gestured towards the trees. He couldn’t risk her stopping him or his soulmates during this next part. Linh looked apprehensive, but she quickly made her way towards the trees.

Tam forced xemself to take a deep breath and wipe xer hand on xer pant leg. This was the moment of truth. “Hey guys. Nice to meet ya in person,” Tam chuckled awkwardly. Sophie let out a soft squeal as their eyes widened. (Tam still remembers how bad they felt about not having blue eyes.) “There’s the elf we love,” Keefe teased. “Hug?” Tam grinned softly as xe moved closer, and allowed Keefe to wrap his arms around xem.

This. This was good. Xe didn’t know how long it had been since xe felt this secure in the real world since xe been banished. “Your feelings are all wiggly,”Keefe mumbled, and he just squeezed Tam tighter. Tam felt xer soul soar. It had the softness he expected to have when the soulmates met in real life.

Tam felt fingers running through xer hair, and xe just let them. “Are you okay?” Sophie asked. Their voice was filled with concern for xem, and Tam could find it in xem to care. “I’m okay. Just tired,” Tam admitted.

“I bet. I can feel it rolling off of you like waves,” Keefe stated. The trio sat like that for a few moments, for they just wanted to gather their thoughts. “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you,” Sophie started, but was shushed by Tam.

“Don’t. It’s not your fault. Shadows change how your voice sounds, and you can't see my face. That’s out of control.” Tam let that sink in for a moment. Xe knew both of xer soulmates were stubborn when it came to forgiving themselves. Tam then started to maneuver xemself out of Keefe’s and into Sophie’s.

“This is nice,” they gasped. “You’re so warm?” Tam had to chuckle at that comment. “Yeah, I am. So are you two.” “Are you and Linh going to be okay if we leave?” Keefe awkwardly asked. Tam knew he noticed the setting sun and how the elves they were staying with would be worried. “Yeah. Go,” Tam nudged xemself off Sophie as they got up. “Do you need a cliff?”

Sophie shook their heads as they held up a crystal. “We’re good.” “I guess this is goodbye.” Keefe looked detested as he uttered those words. “No It’s just a see you later,” Tam amended. It had to be, was unspoken.

Sophie grabbed Keefe’s hand and leapt away. Tam tried to ignore how xer heart fell. —— Linh liked to think she was a pretty serene person in most cases. This was not one of those cases.

“You met your soulmates!” she cheered. Tam was blushing so bad that she chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah, keep it down,” Tam chuckled as Tam scooped Linh into a hug. “Xe.”

Linh nodded as she backed up. “How do you feel?” “Kind of overwhelmed. But not bad,” Tam nodded. “How do you approve of my soulmates?” If one didn’t know Tam as well as Linh did, they would have thought that xe were being snarky. However, Linh knew that xe were just really nervous.

“I like them. Are they scared of me because I’m your sister or because of what I have done?” Linh inquired.

“They were probably terrified of the idea you would disapprove of us being soulmates.”

“Probably?”

“We had a lot on our minds!” Tam defended xemself as xe put xer hands in the air.

“Fair point. Next time you see them, ask,” Linh conceded. She wasn’t honestly that disappointed, for she thought that if she met Biana she wouldn’t bother asking if she liked her brother.

“They were blaming themselves for not recognizing me,” Tam stated after a period of silence. “Oh?”

”Yeah. It’s not really their fault because they know my face better than my voice,” Tam elaborated. There was a clear defensive tone to it as xe waved xer hand frantically.

“Tam. I’m not going to blame them for not recognizing you. That’s not fair to anyone,” Linh reassured. “Now tell me. Did y’all do anything?” Tam’s blush simultaneously made Linh feel both bad and giddy. It was always fun to find new ways to embarrass Tam. Tam replied,”No. They traded me between their laps, but then they had to go back.”

Linh shook her head, and she grabbed Tam’s hand to drag him back to the tree they called home. Maybe someday she would be able to meet Biana. --— (Forkle, meeting Linh and Tam/Confronting Sophie about it) Forkle couldn’t help but be wary of taking the moonlark and her friends to meet two banished twins. He had done significant research, but he took all of his findings with a grain of salt.

Walking into the forest, Forkle did not expect a boy running out of some trees behind a river and commanding shadows to come out. “STOP!” he shouted as the shadows gathered around him. “We won’t hurt you,” Keefe stated as he strode up to the front. “They’re with me and Foster.”

The Shade flicked his wrist, which sent the shadows across the river, as he growled,”I didn’t say you could bring people here.” Forkle took a deep breath as he realized that there needed to be some damage control done.

“There is no need for your darkness tricks, child,” Forkle tried to calm the Shade down. “We just want to talk.” “These are not tricks,” the Shade responded. “Unlike your disguise .” The last part was said in such a scoffing tone that Forkle felt almost a bit offended. However, he could understand where the Shade was coming from. The council was not kind to the poor children.

“Anyway, it’s not like anyone besides blondies over there are getting by without reading,” he declared. “Um, what?” the Vacker boy cried out. (Fitz was his name. It’s Fitz.) “Don’t worry, Fitzroy. It doesn’t hurt. It’s really cold but not painful,” the Sencen boy soothed. “Well, even if my brother is being a baby, you can do your reading on me,” the Vacker girl declared as she stepped closer to the Shade. A foolhardy move, Forkle mused, but a sign of a leader. However, he needed to get this meeting back on track.

“If you must, Mr.Song-“ Forkle started out, but he was cut off once again. “How do you know that name?”

Forkle massaged his temples as he wished for lightning to strike him. It would make his life significantly less complicated.

“You’re not the only one who likes to make sure they can trust someone before talking with them. I know that your sister was banished after flooding Atlantis by accident. A foolish choice on your parents' part.” Forkle tried to refrain from calling others foolish, but the Song parents were an exception. They were idiots through and through. “What do you mean, foolish?” the Shade questioned, as he tensed up. While he wasn’t obvious, there was fear radiating off of him.

“To bring a fledging Hydrokinetic to Atlantis and expecting it to not be flooded is as bad as bringing a guster to a hurricane and expecting them to leave the wind alone. No one sensible would. It is also to my understanding clear that your father had no love for the fact you two were twins?” Forkle knew that his facts were straight, but he wanted to learn the child’s opinion on the matter.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have much to say. He simply muttered, "If the pretending that Linh is older than me doesn’t say something, I don’t know what will.”

Forkle nodded, trying to seem wise, and decided to try and speed the meeting along a bit. While they weren’t pressed on time, he needed to gain some more control over the situation. “If you don’t mind, where is your sister?” Forkle was truly more interested in the girl than her brother. While they were both incredibly powerful, it didn’t mean anything if they weren’t willing to work with him.

Suddenly, the shadows around the trees shifted slightly to reveal the Hydrokenetic.. Interesting. It seemed the boy had enough skill to preform some of the more advance Shade skills. Most Shades took a few decades to achieve that much control.

The Vacker girl made a comment on ‘how cool’ that was, but Forkle ignored her in favor of examining the Song girl. She seemed slightly more fed then her brother, but she still looked malnourished. Her hair was longer than either of the other girls, but she seemed like it was not well taken care of. The same could be said of her uniform. It wasn’t as nice of quality as the others, but it still looked presentable.

She shyly introduced herself as Linh, and Forkle was glad he refrained from calling the Shade any sort of first name. He had known that the girl’s name was Linh, but not her brother’s. Now he knew that it was Tam.

“So, who exactly are you guys? And what do you want?” Tam demanded. He had been doing an admirable job of keeping his cool, but Forkle knew that every teenage boy had their breaking point. This was Tam Song’s, apparently. “Well, you know me and Sophie. Brown hair princess is Biana, inferior blond is Dex, brown hair idiot is Fitz, and Forkle is the old guy,” explained the Sencen boy. It was a surprisingly effective way of introducing people. It reminded Forkle of Prentince.

“I love your hair,” Biana told the Song girl. She blushed, but she still gave a polite nod.

“So, why exactly are you here?” questioned the Song boy. “You still haven't told us."

Forkle nodded. "Ms. Foster has made it a point to tell me how useful you two would be for the Black Swan. Should I assume that you don't know about the Black Swan?"

The Song girl looked at Forkle with a confused look. "First of all, doesn't Sophie use they/them pronouns? Also, we know what the black swan is."

Forkle felt a headache coming. The insistent nature of moonchildren were always draining. "I assure you that is just a phase. After all, moonchildren are just like the moon. They change. But the fact that that you two know what the black swan is very helpful. Would that be something you are interested?"

Tam glared at Forkle. "I don't know."

-------

(Sophie, telling Tam Keefe betrayed them in person {Keefe betrayed them because they threatened Tam and by the time they met Tam it was too late to back out})

(Tam,Shared Dream, this is when Sophie and Tam learn why Keefe betrayed them {Where? Alllueverte?})

(Grizel finds a journal in Keefe's room at the Neverseen base describing all of his dreams with his soulmates, but due to presuming they are just his imagination, throws them away.)

(Keefe, at Lumenaria)

(Sophie just breaks down about Amy with Tam and Keefe in a shared dream. She wakes up and realizes she sleep talked, and since she was with her parents, they heard her sleep talking)

(Lady Candence, Tam manages to go to Ravagog, and is impressed with how calm 'he' is)

(Ro, orgres can sense soulmates by scent, but didn't say anything until they are at Keefe's house, with Keefe on bed rest)

(Tam, being in his parents house)

(Bronte overhears a conversation, that will lead into Legacy, that implies Sokam are soulmates)

(Keefe/Tam force Sophie to calm down during Midterms, because yes elves are bad, but you're hurting yourself love)

(Linh, being enhanced and realizing that something must be off with either her ability or atlantis {Cause both times feel similar})

(Biana has a moment with Tam about their shared scars)

(Sophie has a moment with her parents while getting ready for Alvar's Tribunal)

(Tam, w/ shadowflux when Sophie and fitz first get attacked {Think of how this effects him during their visit? Maybe Lady Zillah? Idea: Shades can tell whether or not someone has met their soulmate, she tries to make him say who they are.) —

(Keefe, w/ skills training/ Ro being a pain)

(Lady Zillah realizes that Tam is soulmates with someone, and deduces that they are also a moonchild, which is why he can control shadowflux, at least to her. In reality, any child who experienced childhood trauma can)

(Sophie and Fitz under the tree, only it's Fedex because they're soulmates but can't tell anyone since Alden.)

(Tam, when he has to join the neverseen.)

(Keefe breaks down the fact that Tam is forced to fight against them)

(Sophie decides not to get a match list/ Linh visit)

(Tam being probed, but he manages to not have everything revealed )

(Keefe taking fathomleses, and what the silver journal means is his soulmate dreams)

(Sophie tells the councilors she isn't getting a match list, they are surprised but okay with it. Bronte brings up the idea that Sokam is a thing and Sophie has to come clean)

(Tam has a shared dream and ends up crying because of it)

(Keefe and biscuits.)

(Sophie's abilities are reset much earlier, due to not wanting to know who her biological parents are as much. Similar thing that happens in canon happens here.)

(The final showdown at the king's path. Unlike in canon, Tam is not told what he is supposed to do, Glitter just does it for him. It kind of goes according to plan, but Glitter goes first than Tam, so it kind of backfires and Glitter and Gisela get brutally injured, because Tams hurt Keefe and you aren't supposed to hurt your soulmates so there's a huge backlash. They all escape together, since almost everyone is unconscious)

(Elwin, realizes that they are soulmates by their cells and tells Eda and Grady, who tell everyone else and it kind of spirals. They wake up, and it's like they just manifested {Intense empathy, blacking out from the increased input from the shadows, not being able to block thoughts.)

(Sokam decides to tell the black swan, together. It's a third person omniscient, and that is the climax, with everyone hugging/yelling/slapping them)

({Potential ending}Flash forward, it's their wedding day and they are giving their vows. It's sickeningly sweet. Tam's POV, to end the way we began)

#kotlc #kotlc sokam #kotlc sophie #sophie foster #kotlc tam song #kotlc keefe sencen #tw abuse #soulmates #kotlc soulmate au fanfic #tw suicide #tw homophobia #tw violence #transphobia tw #tw outing #tw injury #if anyone wants to know about the fun facts that I have about this let me know #I know this isn’t great writing but I am proud of it #and if this does well I might come back to it maybe

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