#to this day I have a strange affinity for batteries

[y2qtom]

shamefully admitting I saw this on twitter and wanna do it but dare not to post on that platform again. here’s some lore about yours truly y2qtom:

> ate batteries and coins as a kid (not really “ate”, more so sucked on them like pacifiers).

> almost always have at least three visible burns, cuts or bruises on my left hand; never on my right (I am right-handed).

> I have a tiger build-a-bear that my uncle gave me when I was less than a year old. He is unnamed.

> might have tinnitus

> built a semi-functional coffee machine at 14 using two broken whiteboards, a fidget spinner, a rubik’s cube and a (stolen) arduino set.

[lilrathands]

Ministry Days: Oui, Chef!

Genre: Pure fluff, comfort, kitchenalia, some foreshadowing of future events, an attempt at comedy was made.

Rating: The swears, simulated wanking

WC: 2438 (I have no idea how this happened)

Warnings: A little sappy, threats of violence, light Chapter 16 spoilers. Copia suffering, no door, too many tax receipts, Seestor being a big meanie.

A/N: All HCs are my own damn fault, or taken from various bits of the Chapters, interviews, Tender Father’s ramblings. Also may have been absorbed by osmosis and exposure to the fandom. You are welcome to use them.

The kitchen was Mountain's happy place. The rhythm, sounds and organised chaos was very much like being on stage, his steady heartbeat moving things along, suffusing each dish with a bit of that ethereal ghoul magic. He could be found here most evenings, amongst the polished copper pots, his head deftly bobbing between the battery of cooking implements hanging from wrought iron racks.

There had been a few teething problems involving chipped horns and swollen lumps that had to be soothed by Aether. Even though Aeth had tisked and chided Mountain each time, he was tickled by his new found love for cooking.

The road to hell, in fact, was paved with dinners. Some lavish to the point of obscenity (particularly if the ministry was hosting high-ranking clergy from abroad), some as simple as a bowl of warming soup and dark bread fresh from the ovens. It would of course be slathered with butter made from the milk of Primo's prized dairy cows who doubled as the resident lawn trimmers. Every ghoul was threatened under penalty of death - fuck with the cows and find out at your peril. As such, the ministry kitchens were equipped to feed a small (unholy) army.

The ghouls, however, kept stranger hours- often more active at night and sleeping after dawn crept its fingers over the spires of the ministry chapel. Once the kitchen had cleared of the daytime staff, it was Mountain's preferred spot. A fire would be lit in the hearth again, kicking up embers to light new tinder and carefully stacked logs. Then there was the large bay window that had become home to a variety of potted herbs and trailing ivy - all courtesy of him. The day staff had delighted in the addition, never needing to venture outside in the bitter chill of winter in Lincopia to harvest herbs from the ministry greenhouse.

The one exception to this was Sundays. Papa insisted that he make the ghouls a communal dinner, from scratch, all by himself (unless Dewdrop decided to force his involvement on the former cardinal). Papa had a paternal streak a mile wide, and loved tinkering with old recipes until they were just right for his little band of hellspawn. Dinner on Sundays was usually late, even by ghoul standards.

Oddly, Dewdrop was an occasionally curious kitchen hand, very adamant that he be shown things step-by-step and in great detail. Whenever Mountain would gently inquire, why exactly Dew was so keen, he would be admonished with a sullen stare that hinted at acts of future violence.

On this particular night an English roast dinner had been requested, with Aether claiming he had developed an affinity for them after spending some time in Britian in an earlier century. Under a different, unnamed master.

He had conjured up visions of tables laden with joints of roasted meat, stuffings, potatoes roasted with drippings or lard, vegetables glazed or creamed into submission, sauces aplenty and those strange little puffs of air called 'Yorkshire puddings'.

Mountain had practically galloped to the library - Dew madly scrambling to keep up with him. The library had a considerable collection of antique cook books and treatises on the culinary arts. The siblings of sin had helped him find a volume titled 'Mrs. Beeton's Book of Household Management', from around the time Aeth said he had been in service.

The book was bound in red linen, with gilt lettering and counted among its charms a stained title page, several pages of the 'Cakes' section glued together by Satan-knows-what and, curiously, an entire chapter on 'Carving at the Table' had been unceremoniously ripped out.

Walking back into the kitchen Mountain set the book on the long wooden trestle table that graced one side of the main kitchen and sat on the well-scrubbed bench seat.

"Well, looks like we're a little fucked on the pomp and ceremony bit but at least we can scrape together some of the easier recipes."

Dew stood behind him, peering over his shoulder, making a range of faces that covered everything from abject disgust to confusion and back to dry wretching.

"It's all so fucking BROWN! How could Aeth even stomach this stuff much less want to eat it again?" Dew hissed through gritted teeth.

Mountain knew that Dew also had questionable taste in food, once having caught him eating spoonfuls of dry spices, but decided to keep that thought to himself. Dew had nearly choked to death in a puff of cinnamon when Mountain had opened the pantry door looking for the fancy fleur de sel Terzo had brought up from France.

"Well, they say that brown equals flavour, buddy. Millions of people can't be wrong, well I mean they can, but let's just go with the former. Alright, let's gather everything we need up, I'll head to the root cellar, can you crank the ovens? Let's do roast pork with crackling, glazed root vegetables, crispy roast potatoes, apple and onion gravy, horseradish cream and maybe some of those yorkshire pudding things?"

"Oui, chef!" Dew practically yelled, puffing his chest out and standing as tall as he could (he was still very small, but the effort was what counted).

Mountain gave an awkward thumbs-up, wondering what the fuck had gotten into him lately? Everyone knew he was a raging perfectionist that mastered every task he was given, but this was just extreme.

There was a door adjacent to the pantry that led down into the root cellar, Mountain practically doubling over to avoid concussion as he descended the narrow stairs. The ministry had long sat unused until the 1930s, and was a former abbey dating back to the 1400s with an extensive network of catacombs,  underground chambers and cellars. This was just one storage cellar, the ministry being dotted with them, some still sealed and unused.

The cellar room itself was large enough for Mountain to stand up in, with a small, vaulted ceiling from which hung braids of garlic, onions, dried peppers and woody herbs. The door was always tightly sealed to keep Copia's rats from infiltrating the stores.

Mountain collected his root vegetables (wintered carrots, parsnips and yellow turnips) from wooden boxes and grabbed a large burlap sack of potatoes, still dirty with sandy soil. He relished the smell of soil in winter, even if it was long dry and devoid of the rich aroma of life and death that all healthy earth has. A braid of garlic, a few stray apples (these would need replenishing from the larger store cellars) and six onions were added to his basket.

Upstairs, Dew had collected a pair of ancient roasting tins that would hold two racks of pork, which he was salting and oiling. Mountain tipped his basket out onto the table and brought the onions and apples to Dew.

"Alright, slice these thinly and make a bed for the pork after you put down a little oil. Toss a few sprigs of rosemary underneath the pork as well."

Dew relished the knifework, his fingers flying adeptly just as they did on-stage. Soon sounds of sniffling and cursing could be heard from his corner of the kitchen.

"Mounty, can you pass me some paper towel? Please?"

Mountain dutifully ripped off a few sheets and handed them to Dew. Tears were streaming from his eyes, and they had gotten incredibly red, much more than any human Mountain had seen chop onions.

"Buddy, are you ok? You don't look so great..."

Wordlessly, Dew picked up the knife and pointed it at Mountain's chest.

"I...am...fine...I'm...not...crying. If you tell the others, I will end you."

Dew slowly turned to face his stinky nemesis again, his knife now pointing down at the alliums.

"I am the lord and master of these onions and will prevail. SUBMIT TO ME, YOUR ONION LORD!" Dew exclaimed as he began furiously slicing the onions again.

Mountain stiffly turned back to his own cutting board while questioning the choice of giving Dew access to a large, sharp knife. Maybe he should just give him the vegetable peeler next time...

Soon there were neat piles of chopped veg, minced herbs and bowls of coarse salt and freshly ground pepper in front of Mountain. A large tray lined with baking paper stood ready, as he tipped and mixed everything together. A final flourish of honey from the pantry was drizzled over everything.

Dew had indeed conquered the onions, and the pork was sizzling in one of the large, furnace-like ovens. Little sparks of fire magic were floating around him like orange fireflies, and Mountain could tell that Dew was manipulating the fire, willing the ancient oven to get hot enough to properly cook the crackling roast.

"Thanks buddy, you're doing a great job there."

Mountain gingerly patted him on his shoulder, to which Dew blushed and fumbled a "Thanks, chef."

While the roast was cooking, the pudding batter was assembled, the horseradish grated and gently folded into cream with a little vinegar, salt and pepper (more tears from Dew, Mountain wordlessley handing over paper towels).

It was time for the potatoes to be tipped into hot fat, and the tray of vegetables to be placed into the now less-furnacey oven. Dew had opened the oven and with his golden crown of hair blowing around him, had drawn the heat into himself, then promptly run outside and exhaled vast quantities of steam. Mountain marvelled at how strong his magic could be when he was focused and calm, something he noticed was happening more often these days.

Returning to work, they scrubbed the boards, knives, bowls and utensils, and set the table for Papa and the ghouls. They had a little time to have a cup of tea and biscuits, as the meat had to rest before carving. The siblings of sin always kept a tin of biscuits around for the ghouls, as it was an easy way to barter with them - they had become fond of earthly delights.

Mountain loved the little heart-shaped  linzer cookies filled with jam, while Dew enjoyed the dark chocolate shortbreads dotted with orange zest and redolent with spice. They missed them while on tour, and would often request that the kitchen send along a tin or two to fix any cases of homesickness.

The smell of dinner had clearly wafted through the abbey as Aether poked his head through the huge wooden double-doors of the kitchen.

"Almost dinner time, lads? Want me to fetch the others?"

"Yes, and make sure to get Papa as well, I don't care if you have to tear him away from his bloody tax returns, Sister can get fucked for once. Every time I walk past his room he's either playing video games and eating Pocket Coffees from a giant bowl or wringing his hands over a pile of paper and swearing in Italian." Mountain's brow creased in worry - Copia needed a solid meal and some companionship, this work schedule was killing him...

It was time to pour the batter for the puddings into their screaming-hot moulds. Mountain carefully distributed the liquid and then immediately shoved them in the oven to bake.

Dew was already moving the vegetables onto large platters, and pouring the gravy into the Ministry's bizarre collection of animal-shaped gravy boats. His personal favourite was the puking cat.

Mountain was left to carve the pork, quietly working the slices from the rack, the crackling sublimely crisp and shattering. He heard the scrape of a chair behind him and suddenly felt a hat being negotiated over his horns.

"Gotta look the part, hey chef?" Dew proclaimed, as he slid the chair back and stood beside him, wearing a floppy, old-fashioned chef's toque like some bizarre character from an 80s children's show. It was fucking adorable.

"Absolutely bud, only the height of professionalism around here."

The other ghouls began drifting through the doors, excitedly chatting and sniffing the air. The girls coo'd over Dew's hat while also trying to dip their fingers in the gravy boat as he fended them off with a slotted spoon. 

Aether and Papa were last, with Aether holding Papa up with an arm while he shuffled in, still wearing his little rat slippers and looking positively dreadful.

"Amici miei....my beautiful children, you are a sight for sore eyes. Sister, she is relentless, she has removed my door! I can't even, you know, ehhh..." he made sad, unenthusiastic wanking motions with his hand.

Suddenly, Copia closed his eyes as his nose began to twitch. He inhaled deeply, a flush of colour returning to his cheeks.

"Quell'aroma meraviglioso...Mountain, Dewdrop, you have outdone yourselves...my mama, she could have never..." Aether sat Papa down at the head of the table, gently tucking a napkin into his burgundy hoodie and pouring him a small glass of wine.

Dew held up his own wineglass, tapping it with his gigantic slotted spoon.

"The chef would like to say a few words..." he announced, chest puffed out again and wiggling an eyebrow at Mountain.

"Uh yeah, Aeth requested this one, so, uh, enjoy this surprisingly delicious brown food."

Everyone clapped, while Mountain's hat slid forward as he bowed. Suddenly, he bolted upright -"Fuck, the puddings!"

Without a hint of hesitation Dew jumped up and ran to the oven, pulling the pan of crispy puffs out with his bare hands. "Got 'em! Nice and golden, sneaky little fuckers."

"CAZZO! Put the fucking pan down, you're going to have terrible blisters, mamma mia!" Papa yelled while clasping his hands over his face, elicting a gasp from the other ghouls.

"Nah, I usually wear oven mitts just so the siblings don't lose their tiny minds when they realise I'm unburnable. Don't want to give them the brain scramblies, ya know?"

The ghouls uttered a collective sigh, of course a pan wasn't going to burn him. They all suddenly felt a little foolish, like they'd been living amongst humans a bit too long.

Swiss, however, looked contemplative, while shoving a hot yorkshire pud in his mouth he began, "The brain scramblies are bad news, like that time Rain dove into the lake and didn't come up for 20 minutes in front of the novices..."

Soon enough, laughter echoed through the hall. Mountain was content, his family was here enjoying the fruits of his labours, while their collective magics mingled in the warm air. Dew offered up a crinkly-eyed smile in his direction, which he returned with a nod and subtle grin.

They would all sleep well, with full bellies and comfortable dreams of warm hearths, surrounded by good friends.

[some-kindofgnome]

tastes so bitter (tastes so sweet)

You’re driving back from an out-of-town mission with Hawks when your car breaks down on a very sparsely-populated highway. While you await relief, things get... personal. 

characters: takami keigo (hawks) x f!reader

word count: 7.1k

warnings: smut (18+ please!), car sex, pro hero!reader, angst, emotionally unavailable hawks

notes: ta-dah!!! the car sex fic! this turned out way longer and way more feelsy than I ever intended it to be. but I’m grateful for the chance to show you how I play with plot and emotion as well as some good porn. porn with feelings, y’know? 

EDIT: The supremely talented @la-saffron​ has created an absolutely spectacular piece of artwork for this fic! Please go and look at it right here, it’s really quite splendid

Masterlist

The shadowy trees on either side of the highway cast a chill across the pavement as the sky went dark.

It was far from sunset, but the woods were so tall and thick that the light had disappeared from the road a long time ago. The overpriced navigation system laid into the dashboard of Hawks’ luxurious car was no help at all; not when you were taking the only road for miles around.

The highway narrowly passed for two lanes, winding precariously down from the mountains. Dotted with reflective yellow signs- deer crossing, bear crossing, creatures-of-unimaginable-horror crossing. Bigfoot himself could have wandered into your headlights and you barely would’ve flinched.

But that was to be expected, given where you’d come from.

That day’s mission brought you both far, far away from the city. There was a national forest about three hours away- one of the biggest in the country- and you and Hawks had been called in at the crack of fucking dawn to drive all the way out to the woods and investigate some ‘strange reports,’ as the rangers cared to call them.

Most park rangers knew what they were seeing when guests came in from the woods reporting abnormal happenings. Nobody was truly immune to fear, though, when faced with the impossible.

Whether there were paranormal creatures lurking in those woods or not, you couldn’t have been sure. But after spending the day exhausting both your quirks combing every spare inch of those woods, you were relieved of your overnight duties by a group of other, more nature-savvy heroes.

Hawks had been miffed, but too exhausted to argue. He didn’t like to think he’d been overshadowed. You were just thankful to be going home to your own bed.

“Okay,” you sighed, nursing the last of a lukewarm soda from a burger joint at the edge of the only one-horse town you’d passed through. It was a pretty unassuming stop for dinner, but you and Hawks both agreed that the burgers were way too good to be sold to so few patrons.

Keigo was driving, with one palm splayed lazily across the bottom edge of the wheel. His scarlet wings stretched into the backseat, draping over the shoulders of his black leather backrest like some bizarre kind of seat cover.

The fact that his car was so luxurious was not lost on you- although you were more surprised to find out that he had one at all. Hawks seemed like the last person in the world to need a car, after living in a fantastic downtown penthouse. And owning a pair of wings, come to think of it.

He owned it because he could. And because he knew how good he looked in the driver’s seat.

“What?” He turned a curious eye toward you, though he never quite pulled his gaze from the road.

“I know we started this conversation on the way here,” you began, “but… we never exactly finished it.” You swirled what was left of the ice chips in the bottom of your cup, considering the best way to voice your thoughts.

“Alright.” He sounded vaguely amused, slouching a little further down and drawing an idle palm over his feathered hair. “Shoot.”

“Well…” You trailed off. “You’re kind of… a city guy.” You were already starting to talk with your hands. The racket coming from your half-drunk soda was proof enough.

“What makes you say that?”

“You are,” you defended. You let a playful edge creep into your tone. “And the agency’s kind of a city thing.”

“Am I really as one-note as you’re making me out to be?” He was chuckling. Your cheeks were going hot. You weren’t sure how this became a personal conversation, but you were determined to steer it in the proper direction. You course corrected.

“I just mean, we don’t take a lot of jobs outside the city. Like… ever. So, what’s with this one? Why this call?”

He didn’t answer right away. When you glanced across the car, he was licking his lips and appearing to be, very genuinely, thinking.

“Well,” he began. There was an immensely appealing depth that wore around the edges of his voice when he was deep in thought. You hung on tightly, trying your best to hide how intently you listened.

“I was just… bored, I guess.” He gave a lazy little shrug. His eyes were still trained on the windshield, but you could feel the weight of his urges. He wanted to look over. You turned your head, willing him to.

“Probably sounded like bullshit, now that I think about it,” he confessed, “but if there really was somethin’ freaky in those woods… I dunno. I wanted to see it.”

You resisted the urge to snort.

“Maybe you should start a ghost hunting branch at the agency.”

“Aw, c’mon,” he protested. This time, he really did drag his eyes away from the road for a second. They glinted playfully in the dark. You got a flash of pearly canine from the barest hint of a grin, but it was enough to put a stupid smile right across your face.

A sickening thud from beneath the hood zapped any false confidence you’d been building. There was a dull pop, then the engine died.

“What the- shit.” Hawks scrambled to put both hands on the wheel, navigating the car with what momentum remained over to the narrow shoulder. The tires hit gravel and soft mud, rolling pathetically to a stop and settling in damp silence.

“What the hell was that?” You leaned over the dashboard as your pulse came down from near-terminal velocity. There were half a dozen lights blinking away on the dashboard- symbols you couldn’t understand.

“Not sure.” Keigo was doing his best not to sound too perturbed. As a result, he was just perturbed enough.

You knew what those lights implied, though. Service due. Oil change due. Battery maintenance due.

“Jesus Christ,” you hissed, “when was the last time you took this car in for service? It’s a miracle you even made it out of the goddamn garage.”

Hawks was in the process of mashing the engine start button like an arcade game. When you spoke up, he pushed it down and held. The engine gave a dull, sad sort of sputter, but nothing roared to life.

“Look, look,” he dismissed, waving a hand in your direction as he unbuckled his seatbelt. “I don’t drive this thing that often, okay? I’m gonna go check under the hood.”

He climbed out of the driver’s side and slammed the door before giving you the chance to remind him to pop the hood. For a minute, you let him wallow in his mistake, watching gleefully as he pried at the seam of it. Finally, you unbuckled yourself and leaned over, flicking the release for him.

He gave an unamused glance toward the windshield and lifted the hood, obscuring all but the very tips of his drooping wings from view.

After about fifteen seconds, he ducked back into the car with a rush of cold air behind him. He rubbed his palms together as you watched, arms folded over your chest.

“So?” You prompted. He gave a sideways glance in your direction, blowing into his chilled hands.

“So what?”

“Oh my g- what’s wrong with the car?” You tried your best not to let panic set in.

“I don’t know. It’s just a bunch of pipes and wires under there. They didn’t exactly give me a map of the thing when I bought it.”

You’d seen Hawks pull people out of burning buildings before. You’d see him think on his feet, devise a plan and act on it in the blink of an eye. Usually, he was impulsive. Confident. Clever.

Tonight, on the other hand, he was demonstrating a very clear affinity for money over brains.

You flopped into your seat, scrubbing your hands over your face. You were not going to freak out. You refused to. It didn’t matter that Keigo had suddenly become useless in the face of disaster. You were heroes, even if you had to save your damned selves.

“Oh,” he quipped from beside you. “Still got bars. See?” As you peeked over at him through one cracked eyeball, he waved his illuminated phone screen at you. “It could be worse, kid. If this were a horror movie, this thing’d be dead.”

He tapped away on the screen, seeming very pleased with himself. Even his wings gave a little ruffle, draping themselves smoothly over the back of his seat again.

“I’ll call us a tow. We’ll be outta here in no time.”

A few minutes later, you had a map pulled up on your phone while Hawks’ brow creased deeper and deeper.

“Uh-huh.” His voice had taken on that irresistible deepness to it again, but this time it was sending pangs of dread through your gut.

“Right.” He brought a palm up to smooth over his jaw, fingertips bending and pressing idly against the patches of scruff that dusted it. “Y-yep, yeah, I understand. Fifty miles is a long way. I know it’s gonna be a lot to send a truck that far. But-“

As he was abruptly cut off by the other end of the line, those idle fingers slipped up to his temple, pressing inward and rubbing in stiff little circles.

“Okay. Alright. Yeah, I guess we’ll wait, ‘cause there’s not much else we can… I understand. Yes, thank you. Thank you. Okay, we’ll be here. Or within a ten-foot radius. Thanks. B-“

He blinked rapidly at the screen as he pulled it away from his ear. “Have an excellent night, sir,” he muttered under his breath. He let out a deep sigh, lifting a hip to tuck his phone away again.

“They said they would send someone,” he said, “but the depot is, like, fifty miles from here. Could be a couple of hours.”

“A couple hours?” That cold dread was settling into your chest again. So much for sleeping in your own bed.

“Yeah. C’mon, get out.”

“What?” You glanced past him at the frosted driver’s side window. “It looks freezing out there.”

“Well then, you’d better bundle up. C’mon. I’m gonna fly us back to the city.”

“No way. Hawks- Keigo.” You grabbed his arm and squeezed tightly as he made to get out of the car.

“What?” Exasperation was creeping into the edges of his voice. The sides of his gaze, too, as he landed against the seat back with a thud and turned his cheek to look at you.

“You’ve been flying all day. Your wings are shot. You’re not flying anywhere.”

“What? They’re fine.” He gave the appendages in question a defiant flutter and a cloud of expiring feathers floated into the backseat.

You folded your arms across your chest. Hawks gave a frustrated growl.

“What do you suggest, then?” He retorted in fierce opposition to your silence. “Just sit around and fucking… die of old age before the tow truck comes?”

“Oh my god, you’re the number two hero,” you snapped back. “When did you become such a drama queen? Yes, we’re going to wait. Like a normal person would have to.”

“I’m not being dramatic; I’m presenting you with a legitimate solution and you’re ignoring it!”

“If you try to fly us both out of here, you’re gonna hit the ground before we’re halfway home. And then we’ll be really stranded, with no water and no shelter. So, if you’d like to fly back all by yourself, I can’t stop you. But I’m not going to let you kill both of us.”

“Fine!” Hawks’ cheeks were flushed with temper as he kicked the door open and clambered out of the car. He kicked it shut again so hard the whole body rocked, and for a moment you were left, trapped in shocked silence.

He was really going to leave you out here. Alone.

Half a dozen heartbeats passed before his boots crunched on the shoulder and he wrenched the door open again, flopping back into the car with an immense sigh of irritated defeat.

“Fuckin’ freezing out there,” he muttered as quietly as possible.

You wanted to punch him.

“You ready to wait?”

His wings stiffened behind him, then drooped so lowly they seemed to disappear into the backseat. He looked at you from the corner of one tawny eye.

“Yeah.”

For the first hour, you honestly enjoyed yourself. As soon as Keigo accepted his fate, he got much closer to his usual mellow self. You finished off cold fries from dinner, listened to true crime podcasts on your phone, (you listened- he talked over the whole thing) and played a few ruthless games of hangman on a couple of napkins you found in the glove compartment.

You’d spent a lot of time with Hawks in a professional capacity. As partners, you took most of your missions together. You were well-versed in the way that he liked to think, the way he approached a job, a conversation. You worked well with each other and you were drawn to his quick wit and laid-back humour. Even if he was a piece of work at times, you made a strong team. But you didn’t do a whole lot of hanging out.

“Okay, that’s it,” he chided as you added an extravagant top hat to the completed, dressed hangman scrawled onto the inside fold of your last napkin. The word he’d failed to guess was ‘patience,’ and the irony of his struggling was not lost on you.

“Aw, c’mon,” you protested. “You’ve still got gloves and a bow tie left.”

“No, no, no.” He held up a palm, shaking his head. There was a good-natured grin curling his lip as he bowed toward the door. “I’m callin’ it. I gotta take a leak.”

You snatched your soda cup from the drink holder, clutching it protectively against your chest.

“You’re not going in here.”

Next, it was Hawks’ turn to shoot you a deadpan stare.

“How about in the woods? Is that allowed?”

Your cheeks went hot. “It’s pretty dark out there.”

“Aw.” Hawks shoved the door open. There was an unfamiliar glint to his eye as he tossed a mischievous look over his shoulder. “Guess you won’t be able to sneak a peek, then.”

You slammed your fist into his back. “Shut up and go take a piss.”  

As the car door clicked shut, you turned the other way out of sheer habit. All you could see in the opposite window was the reflection of your own face. Maybe it was just the dim light, but you looked exhausted. Keigo had seen you caked in blood, streaked by mud and soot before. But you’d both been awake since four o’clock that morning and there was a special kind of ugly feeling that came with overtiredness.

You were dreaming about the first thing you’d do when you got home again when Hawks climbed back into the car. He looked considerably brighter as he ducked inside, and he brought a flush of rich, earthy forest-smell along with him.

“Don’t tell me you couldn’t find it in the cold out there,” you quipped. Payback.

But Keigo just chuckled, shaking his head.

“Close the door,” you whined as the frigid air from outside finally reached your bare arms. “It’s already cold enough in here.”

“Aw,” he crooned, tugging the door shut behind him. “You scared of a little cold now, kid? It’s not so bad out there. Feel.”

He lunged at you, ducking rapidly to rub his frigid cheek against your shoulder. You let out a terse yelp and squirmed, trying to shove him back amid a sea of chilled giggles. He got a few passes of his icy skin on yours before you both realized how close you’d gotten.

Hawks cleared his throat and scooted away from you. In the bare light from the shitty overhead lamp, you were starting to see the outline of a flush creeping into his cheeks.

The light abruptly went out, leaving you in darkness again.

“Tell me something,” he mused, grabbing for the abandoned takeout bag and digging a hand into it. He produced a tiny wrapped square and tore it open with his teeth, removing the folded alcohol wipe from inside and gliding it with impossible grace over his fingertips. He eyed you sideways.

“How come we don’t hang out more?”

Your chest went cold. You’d been dreading that question all night. Longer than that, even.

“What d’you mean?” It was a gut response, but you instantly kicked yourself for even attempting to play dumb.

“You know,” he chided, dumping the wipe back into the paper bag once he was finished with it. “We work. We do interviews together. We do those bullshit PR functions together. I’ve known you- what, two years? And we’ve never even been for a drink. What gives, kid? Don’t tell me I grate on you.”

“I get plenty of you on company time,” you retorted. You were starting to panic. You weren’t ready for this conversation, but it didn’t seem like you were going to be rescued by the timely arrival of the tow truck.

“Okay, okay, I’d take that,” he laughed, “if you hadn’t agreed to take this mission with me. C’mon, this wasn’t exactly a nine-to-five gig.”

He paused. “Come out with me this weekend.” He nudged your shoulder with a bony elbow. You tried your best not to snap.

“Stop,” you pressed quietly. “You know why we don’t.”

The smirk slipped from Keigo’s face.

“What? Why?”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“Wait a second, there’s an actual reason? What the hell is it?”

The confusion was genuine on his face. Hawks could be a smarmy little shit when he wanted to be. But you could tell he wasn’t fucking with you.

“Oh my god.” The words slipped out like a deep breath. Your hand drifted to your mouth as cold shock ran over your skin. “You really don’t remember.”

“No.” His confusion was bordered with fear. He sat back a little, letting his eyes drift over your expression. “No, I really don’t.”

You swallowed hard. You should have known that you’d have to talk about this eventually. But he didn’t even remember the night that had been changing the way you acted around him for nearly a year.

“Last Christmas,” you began. Your breath was so short that it put a desperate hush to your voice that you absolutely hated. You revelled in your ability to act casual around him, but the more probing he got, the harder that composure was slipping.

“At the agency gala. You remember the party, right?”

Hawks rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and I got trashed.” He paused. Realization dawned on his face, and he shot you the deepest, most sincere look of concern you’d ever seen. Even more sincere than the look that crossed his face when you got shot off the roof of a house and broke a rib.

He leaned forward.

“Did I do something?” He swept a palm over his mouth, fingertips dallying at his chin. You knew exactly how he felt in that moment. You’d been there before, too, realizing that you’d lost control. Blacked out. Understanding that you might have done something you were going to regret.

“You really don’t remember a thing?” It was your turn to be horrified. How could something that consumed your every thought stay so damned far from his?

His fingers were still curved around the point of his chin. He’d gone white, and he shook his head as his eyes cast down to his lap.

“You fucking kissed me, okay?” You snarled with a whip of frustration. “There was mistletoe and you kissed me under it and-and Christ, I can’t believe you.”

“What? What?” He demanded as his voice grew defensively sharp.

“I had no idea what you were gonna do. What you were gonna say, what was gonna change between us. I showed up to the agency the next morning and your hungover ass acted like nothing had ever happened.”

“Of course I did,” he defended, “I didn’t think anything did happen. Oh my God, did I really kiss you?” His wings were coming to life all of a sudden, bristling on either side of his seat. There was a dull whisp as one edge of them brushed against the window. They seemed to expand, along with his horror, to fill the entire car.

He pushed further. “Well, did you… did you want me to?”

You could see where his thoughts were taking him. The answer was an impossible dilemma. To lead him further down that path would not only be cruel, it would be untrue. But to tell him the truth- that you had wanted it- would be to shatter the fragile illusion of casual, platonic intimacy that you’d been building over the last two years.

You chewed your lower lip. Hard enough to hurt.

“Oh god, you didn’t,” he gasped. That was enough for you to lift your chin and shoot him a sudden, sad, pathetic little look.

“Jesus,” he gasped again, deeper this time. “You did.”

“Look,” you snapped. “I was never gonna say anything to you. I was never gonna push it. You didn’t feel that way and I knew that and I just wanted to work.”

He told you enough about his personal life as it was. Every date he swung in from on Monday morning, every Friday night he spent preening in the last hours of the workday hurt enough already. If you’d grown close, fallen harder, it would’ve become too much to bear.

“What do you mean, I didn’t feel that way? What way don’t I feel? How could you even know that?” He was beginning to raise his voice back at you and the adrenaline was pushing you way too far to listen.

“Because you never said a fucking word to me about that kiss! You pretended like it never even happened, Kei! What was I supposed to think!”

“If you’d asked me, you woulda known that I didn’t speak up ‘cause I didn’t remember a goddamn thing!” Keigo jammed a finger into his temple. His golden eyes flashed. He was so fucking hot when he was angry, but this was not a fight you ever wanted to have.

Luckily for you, he was having it without you.

“What do you want me to say to that?” He snarled. “Huh? What- you want me to tell you that I’m sorry for not having psychic powers? That I’m sorry I didn’t hire a mind-reader to tell me what the fuck was going on with you?”

He scrubbed his hands over his face. You were on the verge of tears.

“I-I never-“ you began, but Keigo beat you to the punch,

“You know, maybe I noticed that you were actin’ funny around me. And maybe I should’ve asked. But maybe if you ask yourself, and if you really, honestly give yourself the truest answer, you’d be able to admit that you knew how I felt about you. That you always knew.”

“Of course I knew!”

Your response echoed raw and deafening in the silence of the car. You’d lost your temper and shouted it at him with every decibel left in your breathless chest. Your fists were clenched atop your frigid thighs as you bent over in your seat, shivering. To your immense embarrassment, warm tears trickled down the sides of your nose.

He was right, after all. Every sideways smile he’d given you was just a little too broad to be friendly. Every time he caught you by the hand, he held it just a little too long. Every time he offered you the crook of his elbow at a stuffy charity gala and every time he poured you into a cab at the end of the night, he promised to take good care of you. Every time he looked at you at all it was with a depth that you had recognized, but never understood.

“But look at us, Kei. Look at what we do to each other.”

You sniffled, scrubbing tears off your cheeks with the heels of your hands. He reached for you, seeking to comfort, but his hands twitched midair and he drew back instead.

“Yeah,” he croaked. You tossed a glance in his direction. He looked more dejected than you’d seen him in a long time. He rested both hands on top of the wheel, the rest of his body sagging against the seat back.

“Except now I’ve told you,” you continued. “And now we both know, so everything’s fucked no matter what.”

You were met with silence. The truth was dawning on you. You hated to even consider it, but it felt like what needed to be done.

“When we get back to the city,” you started. Hawks interrupted you with a low rasp of your name.

“No, when we get back, I’m giving you my resignation.”

“Fuck, stop.”

Keigo lunged, grabbing you by the back of the neck and pulling you toward him. He rested his forehead against yours and closed his eyes. The warmth of his closeness weighed on you like a heavy quilt. You couldn’t even pretend not to be immensely comforted by affection from him.

“I’m not gonna let you do that, kid.”

You were both drawing deep breaths- slow, rolling gulps of air that matched over gradual time. You licked your lips, bracing your chilled palms on his shoulders. Your fingertips brushed the very edges of his feathered hair, dull and soft in the dark.

You’d talked each other down from bigger, badder edges before. But this one had sharp, jagged rocks waiting at the bottom. This one, you were going to have to jump from together.

“I can’t do this,” you pleaded. “I can’t keep myself away from you like this.”

“Don’t.” His voice was hushed and so achingly tender, like he couldn’t take the command himself.

“I can’t-“

“Then, don’t.”

He was firmer this time, and the pad of his thumb brushed the bottom of your lip. He pulled back just a hair, grazing the tip of his nose across yours. The heat of his breath puffed over your lips and his blonde eyelashes threatened to tickle your cheek.

He drew in a slow, calculated breath.

“Lemme kiss you. Lemme try again. I’m not gonna forget it this time, I swear.”

“Keigo, please.”

“Just lemme try. Just once. I’ll never ask you again, if you don’t want me to.” He pulled back the rest of the way and your body keened at the loss, but he looked deeply into your eyes. Deeply like he’d never been allowed to look before.

You licked your lips. Considered it for half a heartbeat. Then you gave a slow little nod.

“Okay.”

To your surprise, he didn’t lunge again. He took his time with you. He cupped your cheeks tenderly between his bare palms, memorizing the curve of your face. He stared, taking you in like this. At his mercy.

Finally, he leaned in and captured your mouth in a soft kiss, heartbreakingly loving. You responded eagerly, blossoming beneath his touch and bracing your hands on the broad plane of his chest. Your fingers curled in the fleece that lined his coat.

You kissed back with near-desperate urgency, shamelessly showing him how touch-starved you’d become. Dating was pointless when Keigo stole your whole heart every time you showed up to work.

The quiet press of his tongue had your jaw going slack in his hands. Your kiss went needy all at once, and he licked into your mouth with a hunger behind his movements that you never anticipated sensing from him.

You broke from him first, turning your cheek to him as your lungs burned. Your mouth was swollen, and you gasped greedily for whatever stale air lingered between you. He grabbed your chin and forced your eyes back to his.

His gaze was fearsome. Ravenous. You were powerless beneath it.

You combed your fingers through his hair like you’d always wanted to, settling your palm at the nape of his neck. Your own voice was nearly unrecognizable, nothing more than a feral growl.

“Get in the back.”

Hawks took one look at the narrow gap between his seat and yours and sat up, nudging the driver’s side door open. He climbed eagerly into the road and then back into the back seat, settling in the center with his legs and wings splayed wide.

Meanwhile, you took the opportunity to wiggle out of your boots and pants and slam dunk everything into the foothold of the passenger’s seat. You climbed over the center console in your underwear and settled into his lap.

Even though you had to bow your head against the cushioned ceiling, it was a holy sensation. Your thighs settled perfectly into the crooks of Keigo’s legs, and his hands slid so naturally over the curves of your hips. It was as if you’d done this before.

You kissed him again, using the weight of your newly boosted height to descend hard and loving against his lips. He grabbed you hard by the ass, drawing you smooth and tight against his hips.

“God,” he groaned eagerly into your mouth.

“You’re so. Fucking. Perfect,” you hissed back into his, and he squeezed you harder, breaking his lips from yours to trail a hungry path of kisses along the edge of your jaw. His scruff scratched at your chin just like you imagined it would. You loved him like this- trimmed, unshaven. The rougher, the better.

“Don’t say that,” he purred dangerously close to your ear. “You’ve seen me at my worst.”

You tried not to grin, remembering Keigo barfing over the balcony of the Plaza after one too many charity-benefit martinis. Keigo caked in ooze after cutting open that sludge villain from the inside. Keigo on the verge of tears, just a few minutes ago.

“I still think so,” you pressed, and he smiled against your cheek. His wings, tired and bruised but majestic as ever, stiffened proudly. They were capped firmly by the cramped space that surrounded you, but the feathers that spread across the back seat were sleek and graceful.

You dug your fingertips between his jacket and his t-shirt, feeling the warmth of his torso all over. He did his best to shrug it open, but the material was caught up on his wings- no getting it off now.

He wound his hands into the hem of his shirt and tugged it up for you. The skin you could feel by slipping your fingers underneath was all you were going to get.

Not that it mattered to you. It was far more than you’d let yourself so much as picture before. While you felt your way across his heated abdomen, he dipped his head to your pulse point. He scraped the points of his teeth across your tender flesh, making you sigh and shiver. He pressed a hand to the small of your back to keep you close and nibbled all the way down to your neckline, leaving a trail of tiny welts in his wake.

They would fade by morning. Tonight, the feeling was enough.

He glided smooth, tender fingers up your sides. You straightened, letting him wedge your long-sleeved t-shirt up around your shoulders. You had to bend even further and press your forehead awkwardly against his shoulder to wrench it off. Once he peeled the fabric over your head, you tossed it haphazardly toward the front seat. Keigo was already going to work on his fly.

The tender press of his erection had grown apparent by that point, stiff and needing down one thigh of his thick pants. You reached between your legs and palmed it indulgently. There was an answering throb of arousal in the pit of your belly as you felt the shape and thickness of it trapped against his body, and an even stronger one when his hips pressed into your touch and he gave a low rumble of approval.

“Don’t act so surprised,” he crooned. With his pants unfastened, and the bulk of his cock shifted to the stretchy pouch of his undershorts, he slid a fingertip down the plane of your belly and curled two graceful digits between your thighs.

“Are you wet for me yet?” He shot you a deep, lustful stare. You rocked your hips against his fingers, hopeless in resisting the pleasure he offered. Keigo nudged the crotch of your thong easily aside, dipping his middle finger against your slit.

He sucked a sharp breath through clenched teeth as you gave a simultaneous yelp of stimulation. When he looked up at you again, he bore a sly little grin. You’d seen it a thousand times before, but never with such desire. And never all for you.

“You’re drippin’, kid.” He arched his palm, slipping that finger slowly upward and easing it inside you. There was no stretch, but the sensation of intimacy- of being felt in such a way by those hands that you’d never dared to fantasize about- was intoxicating in its own right.

Keigo was, apparently, feeling it, too. His eyes were deeply lidded, glazed completely by his own desire. The tip of his cock had found its way over the waistband of his undershorts, weeping shiny precum against his stomach and the bottom of his shirt.

He curled a blunt fingertip inside you, massaging your tender front wall. The feeling rappelled up the column of your spine and brought deep trembles forward. It brought fresh handfuls of wet slick from your depths, gliding down his palm and between his fingers. He took the hints your body offered and rubbed faster, watching the way your expression morphed from desire to pleasure.

“Stop,” you hushed, leaning forward and pushing your lips to his. He drew his hand back from you immediately, settling it on your thigh. The wet little print it left against your skin wasn’t lost on you.

“Something wrong?”

“No,” you replied. “Just ready for you.”

He gave a low, loving little chuckle and shifted beneath you. “Can’t hold out any longer?”

You smiled into his hair. “Don’t want to.”

“Fair enough.” His smile was even, but the tug in his voice betrayed his fraying nerves. It thrilled you to know that you weren’t the only one putting way too much emotional stock in this. It was immensely validating to discover that he’d been anticipating it, too.

He wiggled and squirmed against the backseat, shucking his pants and underwear down over his thighs and letting his cock pop out. It bobbed against his stomach- thicker than you’d imagined- framed by a trimmed scruff of tawny hair that disappeared under his shirt.

“Fuck,” you sighed in spite of yourself.

“I know, right?” He rasped. He reached for you, cupping your jaw. He brought your forehead down to his, giving a weak laugh. “What the hell have we been waitin’ for?”

“We just needed the bottle episode to shove us together,” you giggled. “C’mon, we’re a walking trope right about now.”

“We’re about to become a different trope if you don’t let me fuck you.” It was his turn to play the desperate card. But the ache between your thighs had not dulled, even a little.

He wrapped his fingers around the base of his shaft and you lifted your hips. He gave the heated tip a playful little swipe along your slick slit, but his game backfired when both of you let out tight cries of sensation.

You rocked your hips forward, taking his tip eagerly inside. The sensation was toe-curling, made even better by the way he held you tightly against him, nosing at your ear and kissing any patch of skin he could reach.

He brought his free palm to your ass as soon as you were situated, helping you slide the rest of the way onto his cock. With your knees braced on either side of his lap and your feet pressed tightly against the front seat, you let him bottom out. And for a moment, you just sat there.

“Jesus,” Keigo sighed, lolling his head against the seat behind him. You still had your head deeply bowed, trapped in the space that seemed just an inch too tight.

“I…” Your thighs shuffled. Your hips gave a little squirm. It felt good, but it wasn’t enough. Keigo cracked an eye and lifted his chin, sensing a problem.

“What’s the matter?”

“I just…” Your cheeks went hot. You licked your lips. “I can’t move.”

His gaze cast downward, to the place where you were joined. He took in the press of your thighs, the curve of your neck. He snorted.

“No, you can’t. C’mere, kid, I gotcha.” He planted that palm on your ass again, drawing your hips forward and up, as far as you could take them. Your head and neck bowed with the rest of your back as he draped your upper body over his chest and held you tightly against him.

Then he planted his feet and gave one good, deep thrust. Your innards gave a jerk. Oh, fuck.

“That’s it,” you panted into his ear. He nodded tensely.

“Yeah?” He prompted. “That’s workin’ for ya? Alright, alright. We’ve got this, kid, c’mon. Lemme show you somethin’ good, okay?”

One thrust sent you spiralling. But the rhythm that he dove into- steady, tough, fluid- sent every nerve through your body into meltdown. You were entirely incapable of dealing with such pleasure, combined with the emotions that swirled through your lovestruck brain.

It felt as though you had been holding out needlessly for all this time. Like all the hurt and frustration and heartbreak you shed over him would be evaporated, now that you understood that he wanted you like this, too.

Like that was all there was. You, Hawks, and the free love you could now share.

“I’m n-not-“ Keigo stuttered, piping up after a series of breathless pants and airy groans, “n-not gonna last much longer, kid, you’re… really gonna make me feel it.”

“Yeah,” you breathed back. You looped your arms tightly around his neck, tilting your hips forward. You could feel the barest hint of stimulation when your clit brushed his belly, so you leaned into it- aching for your own release.

His rhythm doubled as the intensity of your pleasure spiked dangerously high, and when you gripped him hard and rocked your hips in time with his, there was a low, warning pull that echoed all the way up to your throat. You were close. Very close.

Your head dropped backward and Keigo leaned forward, drawing his mouth up the vulnerable column of your throat. He panted hard and heavy against your pulse point.

“That’s it, kid, that’s fuckin’ it, baby, oh, God, I’m g-gonna f-fucking… I- shit, I- can’t… fffuck!”

Keigo let a vicious roar tear from his throat as he reached his vibrant peak. His erratic thrusts brought you to a tight little climax, too, and you clung to him and whined and rode through the pleasure as he fucked madly up inside you, spurting messy shots of cum into your depths.

Gravity took hold of his pleasure, dripping it onto his shaft and pooling it in a sloppy mess between you. And when it was all finally over, you collapsed against his body and you both stayed, airless and spent, wrapped tightly around one another.

It was the bright flash of headlights on the back of his neck that brought you to the surface, moments later.

The inside of the car was warm and stuffy and damp. Had you just come in from outside, you might have realized that it reeked of sex. Sweat and breath and fluid and feeling. The windows were near-opaque, fogged by the dampness of your lovemaking.

It was a moment you might have loved to capture, if you weren’t about to be so rudely interrupted.

The light in your rear windshield was bright white and flashing orange. Unmistakable.

“The tow truck,” you wheezed, scrambling off of Keigo’s lap. “Oh, fuck.”

“Get dressed,” he muttered weakly, already scrambling to get himself cleaned up and decent. He was far more dressed than you were, so you did your best to climb back into the passenger’s seat and slide back into your own clothes. You banged your shin hard on the center console, and your head on the ceiling as your body flailed in retaliation. You crumpled into the front seat and nearly kneed yourself in the mouth trying to scramble back into your pants.

By the time you climbed out of the car, fully dressed, with a few additional bruises, Hawks was already standing on the shoulder, talking to the driver. The driver was wagering a few guesses on what might be wrong with the car. Hawks’ eyes had already glazed over.

“Hey,” he greeted, as he spotted you emerging over his shoulder. He introduced you quietly to the driver before the ballcap-wearing, bearded man spoke again.

“Yeah,” he gruffed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll give you a lift to garage nearby. It’s kinda late, but he keeps weird hours. I bet he’ll take a look for you, it’s prob’ly an easy fix.”

“That sounds great,” you gushed, clasping your palms together. There was a lot of stiffness settling in around your hips and thighs. You couldn’t be sure if it was a result of the compromising position you’d nearly been discovered in or the whole lot of not moving you’d done for hours before that.

Either way, it felt good to stretch your legs.

“You c’n go ahead and hop in the back,” the driver directed, waving the key that Keigo had apparently already given him in indication. “I’ll get you hooked up, no problem.”

Keigo opened the truck door for you, and you climbed over the passenger’s seat into the back. He followed closely behind you, tugging the door shut and slouching into the opposite side.

You sat in silence; hands clasped between your knees. A confusing air settled between you.

You felt vulnerable and raw and moony. You wanted to hold his hand and curl up to him in the back seat. Kiss his cheeks and tell him how good it was, tell him how much you felt.

For you, though, it could never be that simple. There was no free love for heroes like you.

Pay later, always.

Keigo felt the weight of your gaze. He turned to meet your eyes and shot you a thin smile. You’d seen the look that he’d turned to hide from you, though.

The truck driver climbed into the front seat before words could pass between you. But you didn’t need to hear them to know what they were going to be.

You didn’t need a warning to understand what Monday morning at the agency was going to look like.

[newathens]

in honor of everything that happened on aug 18th the good and the bad here is a scene from secrets that has been collecting dust for a year and may never get its moment but it is where luke castellan gets a chance to speak and it deserves to b seen at least once

LUKE:

     Fresh donuts sat up on the counter, the sweet smell of frosting wafting through the space. The place was warm; their air conditioner busted. It was a random Wednesday at eleven in the morning so there weren’t many bystanders, though the few that were around kept stealing glances towards me. A mother lost in thought touched her cheek and when she caught me looking back, ducked her head. I kept tapping the tabletop with my knuckles, wondering how hard I’d have to whine to get the waitress to give me a chocolate glaze. She’d already passed by three times out of worry.

     The shining, silver bell shook and rang as the diner door opened. 

     He stood in the entryway for a long moment, taking in the length of the diner. It took him two tries to notice me, but when he did, the neutral expression he’d worn shifted into a deep frown. He approached the booth slowly and held my gaze all the while.

    “Not funny,” Hermes said. I smiled with all the gusto of a fourteen-year-old.

    “Sorry,” I said, voice dropping several octaves as I aged ten years. “I couldn’t help myself. Too soon?” He took a seat without another word. Blonde hair, blue eyes—nothing much had changed; in fact, there wasn’t a trace of greying hair to be found. He seemed fit, youthful. “I thought we’d leave some mark on your complexions.” He gave a tight smile and said nothing, but in the silence I noticed it. An airy presence, circling around me much like the scent of the pastries. It wasn’t threatening, just curious, like a snake amongst the forest floor.

     He was checking me.

     I did the same to him and watched, rather gleefully, as his eyes widened in recognition. It felt strange, kind of annoying. Is this how gods’ felt? Striped raw, bodies vibrating like giant batteries next to one another?

       His search turned up short, but mine didn’t.

      “Jean pocket, out with it.”

      He sighed and placed a gold iPhone in the middle of the table. The caduceus shimmered on its back. 

     Oh, look who it is! Martha said.

     “Nice to see you,” I said.

     I didn’t say this was nice!

      “And you too, George.”

     Hey, Luke, he said, if you take over his position, will you get to keep us?

     “I’d hope so, you two are a riot.”

     “Comical,” Hermes said. “Both of you keep quiet.” We looked at each other again, ready to speak but unsure how to start. The waitress beat us to it.

     “How can I—oh!” She nearly snapped her pencil in half. Her eyes were wide on me, then on the next booth over, then to the other side of the diner. “Wasn’t there, I mean, there was a child—”

       “Can I have three of those delicious looking donuts, miss?” I asked. The waitress bit her lip absentmindedly.

        “Sure thing,” she said, “And you?”

        “Nothing,” Hermes said, then his eyes glowed. “Thank you, and apologies.” The waitress stared blankly, then walked off without another word. The donuts from the counter disappeared and reappeared at our table. 

      “Thanks,” I said.

      He let out a tired breath, “Lukas—”

      “Yes, father?”

     His expression soured, wind rattled the windows, but then it softened, his eyes shut. I stared at the caduceus, quiet now. He sat back in his seat, placed a steady hand on the wood, and stared out towards the street. Towards the shops and sidewalks familiar to us both.

     “We’re here to talk, correct?”

     “Yes.”

     “Then explain.”

.

     Hermes had the bridge of his nose pinched between two fingers, eyes closed. As the silence stretched on, the conversation played over in my head. Again and again and again. The whole time he barely said a word, not unlike him. . .but not all that comforting. The diner was empty now, though I hadn’t realized when it happened. No weapons, those were the terms, but it would be a lie to say that my palm wasn’t itching to call Backbiter to it. Martha and George slithered around the staff mimicking some sort of animated phone case.

     I should run.

     He stood without warning. I followed.

    “Let’s go for a walk,” he turned and left. Again, I followed.

     Late summer heat wrapped around us like a blanket as we exited into midday. The area was lively, busy shoppers and cyclists, joggers and freshly-washed cars. Sun shone down heavy on their exteriors and I squinted against the glint. It was way too bright—

     “There’s no one here,” he said. I turned. He was waiting on the sidewalk, body facing north, towards the path that would take you further inland. Away from the main strip, closer to the suburbs. “Just you and me.”

     “Right,” I said and shoved both hands deep into their pockets. I knew where we were going.

     Higher up the heat wasn’t as oppressive. Hot winds blew now and then, rustling dry leaves and pushing the scent of saltwater up from the bay. I breathed deeply out of reflex. We walked in silence. I kept our strides in rhythm. That was until I saw it.

     The beat-up white house with green hinges that had fallen into disrepair from neglect and misfortune was almost unrecognizable. A new coat of paint covered the siding, the chipping front door had been replaced, and curtains blew out of wide open windows. A lush, green lawn surrounded the property, split in half by a clean walkway bracketed with a rainbow of flowers. There wasn’t a single discolored, mildewed, decaying stuffed monster to be found. I jogged forward in spite of myself.

     “What did you. . .” I turned back. Hermes had slowed, taking in the scene much the same as I. He looked at me. “What did you do?”

     “Luke, this isn’t,” he stared at the house and his face twisted, “I haven’t done anything.”

     I swallowed a dry mouth and ran up the walkway, all caution lost to the innate yet unearned fear for a loved one. The door rattled under my fist as I knocked repeatedly, frantically. Hermes took his place on the tiny porch beside me.

     “Hello,” I shouted. “Hello, is anyone home? Hello!”

     “Coming! Just a moment,” a gentle voice rose from the depths of the house and a few moments later, a woman opened the door. Blonde hair, not frizzed, interrupted by streaks of gray. Green eyes; forest green, not neon. Healthy skin, not sickly. A warm smile that only grew wider as she took us in.

     “Mom.”

     “Luke,” she said and pulled me in to press a kiss to my forehead. I went as rigid as ice; she didn’t notice. “And look at you,” she said to Hermes, who hid his shock well. He had a smile on, pressed a kiss to her cheek, but I could tell somehow, that he was as clueless as I.

     The spell.

     “Come on you two,” she ushered inside. “I’m baking.”

     “Cookies?” I guessed. It was the wrong thing to say. She stopped midstep, hand on the doorknob, and stared at me. Both eyes open, mouth in a frown. For a moment, nothing happened. Then she blinked and shook her head, as if pushing away a stupor. 

     “No, pie. Do you like cookies?” She led us into the house. It was quiet, a television played low in the front room. Varied, jewel hues covered the walls, hiding the dirty eggshell they used to be. Tarps covered some furniture, though they were clearly being used. The wood floors shined from a polishing. The entire space smelled of pastry. Hermes followed faster than I. “Luke,” she called. She was leaning out the kitchen archway. “Lemonade?”

      “Sure,” I said but couldn’t move. Then Hermes called my name and I scoffed. 

      The kitchen was different too. All the grime had disappeared. All the appliances updated. The old, retro table had been replaced with a long wooden piece, and on top of it, were strawberries. Buckets and buckets of strawberries, contained in plastic, straw, wicker; anything that would hold them. The sweet scent was nearly overpowering here. My mom held out a full glass and brought my hand to it to make sure it didn’t drop.

     “Strawberries?” I asked.

     She looked at the table, “Oh! Yes, I’ve grown quite an affinity for them,” she shrugged. “Not sure why but. . . they’re pretty aren’t they?” A beep sounded.

     “May,” Hermes said as she pulled a tray from the oven. She looked over her shoulder. 

     “Yes?” 

     “May, are you alright?”

     My mother smiled—with a gorgeous set of pearly whites. Not possible, her teeth had yellowed and rotted years ago. “Of course, I am. It’s a beautiful day and I have two of my favorite people right in front of me.”

     “May,” Hermes said a third time, this one pained. I realized where I felt confusion, he felt hurt. My mother noticed. Her smile dropped and her eyes along with it. “May, the last time I saw you. . .it didn’t look like this.”

     She placed the tray on the stove and took a heavy seat at the table. The towering strawberries seemed to suffocate her figure. “I was very different, wasn’t I? But I don’t like to think about it. Why not have some pie and then you can go? I don’t expect you to stay very long.” She looked at both of us. “You never can.”

    Hermes huffed in misery. He came to sit by her side. I felt like I was watching a television show. This couldn’t be mine, this couldn’t be my parents. 

    He took her hand, “I don’t mean to put you through pain but I’m a little shocked. Your condition. . . wasn’t exactly fixable. I’d like to know what happened.”

    “I don’t know,” she shrugged. “About a year ago, I woke up. . .at least it felt like that. The presence of that thing disappeared, mostly. I could think straight again. I started cleaning up, there wasn’t anything else to do. The calendar on the wall was from the nineties. Found out someone had been paying the bills all this time,” she touched Hermes cheek and he smiled. “One morning I started working on the lawn. . .” she gave a sad, little laugh. “Apparently, I’d gained a reputation. The neighbors were so worried they tried to take the shears out of my hands, but once they realized. . .they helped me. People helped me fix up the house, gave me food, took me to the dentist, taught me how to use these new phones. They were so kind,” she sniffled. “I really didn’t deserve that much kindness.”

     “Of course you do,” Hermes said but she lifted her head towards me.

     “I don’t remember much. I get glimpses, pains even. But what I can recall, none of it is good. The memories. . .and the visions. Luke, honey, I’m so sorry.” The air was so thick I could’ve cut through it with Backbiter. I scuffed my boot against the linoleum. Silence snaked its way through the kitchen, like Martha and Geroge slithered on that phone.

    “There’s nothing to apologize for, Mom,” I said finally.

     “But there is,” she tried. “All that happened, the things I did, and then I just let you—”

     “There’s nothing you have to apologize for,” I said and the air shifted from thick to frigid. Hermes’ jaw tightened, but he didn’t move his gaze from my mother. Whatever. “So did you chuck all my old stuff? Not that it matters, I’m a little too old for Power Ranger pajamas.”

      My mother wiped at her eyes, “Oh no, I haven’t touched your room. Go take a look, it’s all there.”

.

     The tiny, off-white carpeted room with one square window was exactly how I’d left it a long, long time ago. The bureau had one drawer open. Angry crayon marks covered a low corner of the wall. The small, twin bed was made, but wrinkled. I walked up to it and ran a hand across the blanket. 

     I had the sudden urge to stay.

    It hit me like a brick to the solar plexus, knocking the wind from my lungs. Anger followed soon after. What are you thinking? I thought to myself.

    You could go to college.

    You lost your right to a future.

    You don’t get to leave, Annabeth’s voice echoed.

    Through the window I could see the road; children playing across the street; a man starting up a lawn mower. It felt surreal, freakishly abnormal.

    Maybe this was a type of punishment.

    “What are you thinking?” Hermes asked. I hadn’t heard him enter.

    “I’m thinking I’m too big for this bed,” I said and turned towards him, hands in pockets. His cadecaus was out now. The snakes slithered the length of it, restless. “Not that it matters.”

[gamescare975]

What to look for when buying a 4k tv for gaming

Contemplating Moving To Pc Gaming?

It is time to recognize the ideal gaming blogs of the year. Thankfully, as additional games are becoming published, extra gaming blogs are becoming developed. Since it really is no longer possible for gamers to try out each and every game that releases, blogs have develop into an crucial tool in the gamer's toolbox. They give up-to-date details about new and future releases to aid gamers answer their undying query, "Must I commit $60 on this?".

As you can see, gaming studios need to have to uncover their personal way to work buyer service into the gaming experience. It implies fully understanding their players, and that implies recognizing how to communicate player assistance in the most excellent fashion. Rovio, Nexon, and Riot are all excellent examples, but even when giving optimal player support is not so apparent, studios can do appropriate by their audience by staying rapidly with their client service. The sooner the player gets the enable they will need, the faster they can get back into the game.

As technologies continues to strengthen, with chipsets becoming smaller but more highly effective, we ought to commence seeing extra and a lot more video games make their way onto the mobile platform. Does this imply that video gaming as we know it is dead, although? Far from it. With 4K capability for smartphones nevertheless a though off, as well as a massive eSports following for Pc games in distinct, it is complicated (but not not possible) to see a future with no traditional Computer and console gaming.

Currently is the day! I will be steadily releasing the names of the leading ten gaming blogs of 2014. Searching over this list, I am positively blown away. So quite a few amazing posts this year! If you had been disappointed by the Ennies… if you consider that the real deep thinkers in gaming commentary never get the consideration they deserve… well, folks, we are going to fix that.

No matter whether you require one thing to cool you down on a hot summer day or you basically want to support your gaming console cool down and stopping overheating your gear, the SIMBR Transportable USB Mini Desk Fan can be a really handy gift. First, its 6-inch fan blades are drastically larger than other types of USB mini fans. Second, its highly effective motor is surprisingly quiet, making much less than 30 decibels of noise. Its distinctive style enables the SIMBR to be rotated a complete 360 degrees, making sure you get optimum airflows wherever you point the desk fan to. The triangular base and metal frame are welcome attributes.

Tank is a properly-optimized totally free gaming WordPress theme that comes with a responsive layout that displays your content material beautifully on phones, widescreen monitors, and almost everything in between. With the support of WooCommerce assistance, you can simply get started an on-line small business conveniently. The theme comes with a impressive layout that is infused with charcoal black colour that provides the web-site a pretty royal outlook. This theme comes with a design and style that is exclusive and aids to appeal to folks with an affinity for the army and tanks in unique.

The great thing about the gaming niche is that video games are a hobby. This signifies that people will constantly invest a lot more funds to fund this hobby, no matter if it be by means of new games, new equipment, or both. You can capitalize on this by Click here creating an e-mail list, which will hold these buyers acquiring from you once more, expanding your income regularly. When one particular game gets old, basically send them out an e-mail and commence advertising the next one to them. When the subsequent great headset comes out, send out an e-mail. New CPA platform? Market it! With an e mail list, you can get these purchasers coming back to invest their cash over and over once more.

A gaming website solely dedicated to Pc Gaming for over 20 years. The platform brings expert testimonials on newest gaming gears, introduce you to strange new mods & ground-breaking news around-the-clock. They also organize yearly events such as Pc Gaming Show & Pc Gamer Weekender which is very well-known all over the globe. Apart from posting day-to-day updates on video game news & previews, user can also locate remarkable hardware getting guides and most effective gaming deals right here.

Powered by NVIDIA Tegra four, SHIELD transportable is made for those who demand amazing gaming experiences. It options precise, tactile controls and the most recent version of Android KitKat, providing you the very best way to play your favourite Android games. Play the games you already personal or decide on from the most effective titles on Google Play and the NVIDIA SHIELD Hub app. With SHIELD transportable, Android games will ultimately have the console-grade controls and graphics functionality they deserve.

Gaming consists of distinctive genres and systems, and it is crucial to know what type of gaming web page you would want to be. Gaming web-sites consist of online magazines that focus on gaming-connected articles, gaming portals, online retail and distribution, and gaming blogs. Gamers are unique with what content they want to access, which implies that defining what your site is would make sure you get the ideal audience.

Learn Exactly How We Managed GAMING Last Month

A bustling community of good-minded people, the game web page is most effective identified for producing original & fresh content material connected to newly & well-liked gaming gears such as headsets, keyboards, laptops, mice, controllers, computers and additional. The game web page is loaded with distinct sections that include things like expert testimonials, previews, game trailers, cheat codes, discussion forums & video game news. 1 of the most preferred game websites ever, VideoGamer has an intuitive interface & they also run their personal podcast as nicely.

With years of market-top QA expertise behind us along with a team of gaming and domain authorities, we are effectively-placed to serve the finish-to-end and cross-platform gaming QA needs, which we meet by way of a complete service portfolio that includes functional testing, localization testing, compatibility testing, and certification testing.

SHIELD wireless controller has a massive constructed-in rechargeable Li-ion battery for hours for immersive gaming. With up to 40 hours of gameplay on a single charge, you can use the SHIELD wireless controller for a lot of play sessions with out possessing to charge it back up. A single hour of charge delivers up to eight hours of gameplay. The controller charges from empty to full in less than five hours.

Naturally, gaming” as a topic has a pretty broad meaning and there are numerous choices these days, each for the casual and hardcore PRO gamer. Although consoles can provide access to exclusive titles, which are rarely available for PCs, this goes hand-in-hand with a larger expense of games. Consoles also function some gaming nuances inside joystick controls, as effectively as unique tactics such as progress saving, which is optimized for consoles.

If you're in the marketplace for less expensive or more economical games, make confident that you verify the Hot Offers section of the web-site. Green Man Gaming consists of a link to that page on all its pages. You can look at the Deal of the Day or at present specials that let you save up to 75% off the MSRP on well known games. The Hot Bargains section also incorporates some VIP specials selected by major games from around the globe.

[viostormcaller]

Ego Headcanons: Jameson Jackson

Jameson is the reason why I wanted to do these, believe it or not! I was thinking about my headcanons for him, first, and then started thinking about the others. So, naturally I'm doing his first. Once every SepticEgo's headcanon posts are done, I'll clear out my inbox and I'll open prompts. Without further ado, here's Jameson!

Jameson isn't from our time. He's from the past -- the 1920s, to be exact! He was filming a Halloween special with his camera crew when something went horribly wrong, tapping into his time magic by accident. Despite his confusion, however, he continued. "The show must go on!", as they say.

Jameson has the power of time travel, as he discovered. His power is uncontrolled, and there's a lot of limitations as to what he can do with it, but he's trying to learn. He can stop time, as well, but again, he can't control that either. The one power he can control is the ability to summon small objects at will, but he doesn't do this often.

Jameson is quite the expressive fellow, and this is turned up to 11 when he's in front of a camera. But, he's a silent film actor, so he has to be expressive. Of course, that carried over into his day-to-day life

Jameson can talk! He may be silent on camera, but he does have a completely operable voice box. He has a British accent and has a very proper way of speaking.

He carries himself with elegance. He always dresses decently, and he's rarely seen without his bowler hat, no matter what he's wearing (unless it's pajamas, of course!)

Jameson is very intelligent, don't be fooled, but modern technology is not his strong suit. It's much more confusing and complicated than he's used to! Despite that, he's a quick learner and has a sharp mind. He's getting there.

Normally, Jameson is early to bed and early to rise, but he can easily stay up late if need be; after all, being in the film industry, it's necessary sometimes.

Jameson is very physically fit, considering he did all of his own stunts on set. He makes sure to eat healthy and eat at least three times a day, no matter how small the meal. Not that he eats that much, anyway

He's very close with Chase, who took him in as his son (yes, huge inspiration from @septic-dr-schneep here because I adore their dynamic. It's like my favorite thing). He's also close with Marvin, seeing as they both can do magic and they study together, and Schneep because he's absolutely fascinated with his work. He's not as close with Jackie (because he's busy a lot of the time), but isn't any less fascinated by what Jackie does. His admiration for him is more from afar.

Jameson is straight, and he's Demisexual! He hasn't been in many relationships, but he doesn't feel any sort of attraction towards someone unless they've bonded really closely.

Jameson loves Jazz, Ragtime, and Classical music. He can play a bit of piano, actually, as he took lessons when he was younger. He hasn't done it in years, but the muscle memory is there

He has a strange affinity for mixing drinks. The others have suggested he become a bartender, but he said the bar scene is too boisterous for him

He adores animation. He's amazed by just how much it's improved since his time, and happy to see the classics are still alive and kicking. Both him and Chase share their love for Disney by watching movies together often

Unless he's wearing pj's, he always has his pocket watch on him. Granted, he was given a smartphone, but the watch is easier for him to use to check the time. More importantly, though, the item is enchanted with magic, so naturally he has an attachment to it. The others understand, though they still encourage him to get used to using his phone (he can do basic things like text, but that's pretty much it. The others are always reminding him to put his phone into sleep mode so the battery doesn't drain)

Jameson has a scar on his finger from when he nicked it. Normally that type of wound would heal over completely, but it remained a scar due to Anti's influence. Jameson believes it may have been him who coaxed his magic out to send him so far into the future and mess up his timeline. He gets phantom pains sometimes where the scar will sting or burn as if the wound has been reopened. He often has night terrors about being possessed, which can often lead to panic attacks.

Seeing the community label him as evil or a puppet is extremely disheartening, and it saddens him. He's usually the brightest ball of sunshine with the largest smile, and as someone who tries his hardest to be a good person and do right by the world, to have all his efforts diminished to that makes him really depressed. But if questioned, he'll brush off any claims that he's feeling down and say he's fine. Besides, after seeing what Chase goes through, he doesn't believe he has any sort of depression

He usually hides his problems to avoid being a bother, though a lot of the time trying to deal with it himself makes it worse. Nine times out of ten, though, Chase sees through the ruse, considering he does the same exact thing

If he's in need of a distraction, Jameson will carve soap. It relaxes him, and he doesnt have to worry about being injured with the knife because it isn't that sharp. He knits a little bit, too, but isn't super at it just yet. He also writes often. If he doesn't have the energy for anything else, he'll read and drink a cup of tea.

Jameson doesn't swear... much. He believes it to be improper, but after living with the others, he's let the rare curse slip every now and again (usually followed by a hand over his mouth and a panicked apology, which the others find adorable). If he's really miffed, though, he's known to swear in 1920s lingo, and that he won't apologize for, because at that point he means it.

Jameson is, all at the same time, the oldest, the youngest, and the same age as the others. Though, he's babied often, to his slight dismay. He's from the past, making him the oldest, he's the youngest in terms of creation, and in terms of his real age, he's the same age as Jack and the others. Even though he carries himself with sophistication, he's a kid at heart, which doesn't help him being babied.

He admires Jack. He's only seen him comatose, but he can't wait to meet him, whenever that will be... he can only hope that will be soon. In the meantime, he uses his magic along with Marvin to try to get through to Jack. At least twice a week they try, any more and they'll burn themselves out and be weakened. Hopefully one day, though, the magic will work. Their efforts keep the hope alive that Jack will wake up someday.

And that's Jameson's done!! I know it was long (the others will probably be just as long), but this was a lot of fun to make!! Can't wait to do the rest!

[heartslogos]

newfragile yellows [548]

“He’s super cute, and he’s smart, and he makes me laugh, and he has such fun jokes, and — “

“Oh, she survived her date,” Mahanon says, sounding strangely disappointed.

“Why do you sound like that’s a bad thing?”

“Because I was hoping that if she got…chewed on she’d learn her lesson. Don’t date vampires,” Mahanon replies, watching his sister chatter on to herself, face flushed as she continues to go on about the vampire she met the other night. “I don’t know how she could stand the…the smell.”

“Or the weird echoing silence,” Blackwall agrees. “I wonder how the blood sucker even got a date with her. I’m fairly certain that we’re as appealing to them as they are to us.”

“Maybe he’s desperate for a new thrall,” Mahanon says.

“And he’s got a really nice laugh,” Ellana goes on.

“Very. Very. Desperate,” Mahanon sighs.

“Your sister is a very…lovely woman who I imagine many people would love to date,” Blackwall says as diplomatically as possible. “It isn’t too out of reason that someone asked her out. Or that a Vampire took an interest.”

“Oh, I know my sister is a prize,” Mahanon waves his hand in dismissal, “But the idea that she’s a prize for a vampire is utterly preposterous. Seriously. A vampire? I still don’t know how she could stomach being in the same room. They smell like…like.”

Mahanon’s nose wrinkles.

“They just smell wrong. It burns the nose. And she was dancing with him for an entire night? I’d say her nose is broken but she found enough quarters for laundry by smelling them out in the parking lot the other day.”

“The sound is off, too,” Blackwall says. “She’s not getting any ringing in the ears?”

“Maybe that’s why she won’t shut up,” Mahanon muses. “She’s trying to talk herself out of semi-deafness. Ellana, are you going to shut up about the vampire any time soon?”

Ellana pauses, glancing over at them. Seeing Blackwall she perks up, waving him over.

“Blackwall, have I told you about this cute vampire I met? Come over here. Sit with me. Let’s talk. We don’t talk like we used to.”

“We used to talk?”

Ellana just continues to look at him, expectant, until Blackwall sighs and goes to sit next to her.

“Good luck,” Mahanon says, “I’m leaving the house so I don’t have to hear this anymore.”

“Does this vampire know you’re a werewolf?” Blackwall asks, wishing he didn’t come in through the front door and instead just went in through the back like their group text warned him. But he really couldn’t tell if Ellana’s enamored with a vampire stay away was a joke or not.

Vampires and werewolves have been…well. Not as antagonistic as pop culture would make them seem. But there’s a certain lack of affinity there. Blackwall, himself, may have killed a few vampires back in his day. He may have also been nearly killed by a few vampires in turn. Ultimately no hard feelings, it’s just the way things were back in the old days.

“I don’t think so, actually,” Ellana says, after a surprisingly long amount of silence in which Blackwall mentally shores himself up against the absolute torrent he knows will follow. “Hm. I don’t think he knows I’m a werewolf. I am absolutely ninety percent sure that his roommates — “

Blackwall’s eyes bulge out of his skull and he feels parts of his skull elongate before he gets it under control.

“You met his bloody coven? Are you out of your damned mind, girl?”

“Please, this isn’t the dark ages,” Ellana rolls her eyes. “They live in a nice townhouse and they invited me to have pizza and watch movies with them when I went over to pick him up for our night out. I said no, but they were very nice to me. They absolutely know that I’m a werewolf, but the Iron Bull doesn’t. That’s cute. I think that’s cute. Well. He says he doesn’t, but I think he’s just being nice to me because I haven’t said it to him, you know? I think he’s waiting for me to reveal it myself. That’s super sweet. I think he’s, overall, a very sweet person. And he’s got great style sense. I mean, he’s a vampire, not to stereotype, but most vampires have some kind of style sense. He’s very handsome, you know I think you two would get along. He’s. Like. Ancient. So he fought in some of the old wars back in the day, maybe you two met each other! You could trade war stories!”

Blackwall would like nothing more than to not do that exact thing with this person.

He also thinks that if the vampire is that old there’s no damned way that he doesn’t know that Ellana’s a werewolf.

Blackwall scrubs a hand over his face.

“Did you tell the pack leader that you’re consorting with vampires now?”

“Why would I do that?”

Of course it wouldn’t even cross Ellana Lavellan’s mind that maybe hanging around vampires could be dangerous. That maybe it could lead vampires to their doorstep. That maybe, just maybe, it could cause some tension that might spill over onto the mundane world and maybe get them kicked out of the city.

“I’ll just go and tell the pack leader,” Blackwall says. He’d rather deal with having to tell Theron Mahariel that one of his wolves might have drawn vampires to their doorstep than listen to another word from said wolf about said vampire(s).

“Tell me what?” Mahariel says from the end of the street, voice frustrated and tired, “Someone come help me unload groceries. Also who unplugged my phone from the charger last night? Real dick move there, guys. My phone ran out of battery while I was at the store and I immediately forgot everything I was supposed to get.”

“Theron!” Ellana jumps up, walking towards the window to wait for Mahariel’s car to come into view, “I need to tell you about my date. It was amazing. Is this what it feels like for people who date? I have to tell you, this is amazing.”

“It’s a vampire,” Blackwall says.

Both Ellana and Blackwall flinch against the sound of Mahariel’s screeching breaks.

“It’s a what?”

[arcanist-mcallistar]

Written Commission

For @hexenbomb I had a great time writing this and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did

Day 1

“Vhat iz zhis…” Gretchen looked around in wonder. Just a second ago this oasis seemed nothing more than a delightful respite through an otherwise sweltering trip through the cracked clay and stinging sands of the desert between Piltover and the Factory she and Charlie called home. But Michael had made a modification to her goggles the night before, and these filters made it known to her that there was a thick mist hanging in the air. It moved in waves from the earth up into the sky; thick, dense clouds forming despite the wind still blowing the arid heat across her face. This fog was a place of naturally occurring mana in a concentration high enough for even non-natural magic users to interact. It was just the sort of place Michael had been looking for the months between promising her lessons and the present. It was the perfect setting, because he knew all too well that Gretchen was a mind set so firmly in science that he would have to appeal to both her reason and her eyes to break down her inborn inhibitions to believe in something so aethereal at magic. “Zhis iz amazing! Vhat iz it? It doesn’t seem to move when I vave my hand through it.”

“It’s Mana, Gretchen. A dense manifestation of the natural magical energy that courses through our world. It is the fuel that we burn to make our magic happen. It’s the source of power for both mages, like myself, and hexcrystals. Normally it’s completely invisible, but in certain places it’s so concentrated that you can see it under special circumstances. Magic is simple. Using this fuel, we either push or pull the natural energy of the world around us. You can’t touch it with your body, instead… try to reach out with your mind. Your will. Make it move.”

Together they sat on a pair of stones by the oasis pushing the air back and forth. It took her hours to even make it move, but found that the effort made her break a sweat. Once she finally managed a gust, Michael practically had to catch her to keep her from falling into the pool of water from her excited outburst. From that point, she was like a bloodhound on the scent of a fresh trail. Every day she was ready at sunrise to travel back to their little slice of paradise to practice more of her technique. Every day Michael woke to that big, goofy grin and the reflection of his face in her goggles, but not once was he ever disappointed to see her excitement. He was all too happy to have a student so dedicated to learning that even he struggled to keep pace. It was refreshing. It was nice to finally create again after so many years of destroying. For Gretchen, it was an amazing new experience the likes of which she never even considered. A whole new side of what she called reality that was, up until now, hidden from her.

Day 50

“Vhat now, Michael? I feel like I’m ready for the next step. I can move zhe mist around like second nature now. It… feels comfortable. Right. Natural.” She smiled that big, enthusiastic smile of hers, arms folded back behind her with fingers interlocked as she walked beside him to their normal spot. “I can’t imagine vhat is next, zhough. Vhat do ve do vith zhis energy? How do I do zhe things you do? It confuses and excites me, and I can’t vait to see zhe answer.”

Michael offered a chuckle in response as he sat down on his stone. “That’s just fine, Gretch. It’ll all make sense soon enough. You see, I’ve been giving you these exercises to do for a reason. I’ve been watching you while you work to find out what kind of magic you have an affinity for, and I can tell you it went about as expected. Your talent lies in fire. Fire and air magic in tandem, to be exact. Fitting that the demolitions expert would specialize in magic perfect for making explosions, no? So, let’s get started on teaching you how to use it properly.”

He proceeded to show her how to use the mana rather than just move it. Taught her how to draw it in and use it to fuel herself and the magic within her. Though it took days more, she finally conjured her first flame. And like that flame, a passion started deep in her gut that day that burned hotter than even Ghost Rock. A passion, a determination to wrangle this new frontier of her world. Every day that blaze behind her goggles burned brighter, and every day that flame in her palm grew larger. Her progress rolled on with incredible momentum. She started reading Michael’s old books and practicing in areas less dense in mana. She even started working with the crystals at the manor, using them like a body builder used weights to strengthen her mental muscles for the next lesson. Now she understood the difference between the pseudomagic of her own world and this strange place of wonder. It was as easy as comparing Ghost Rock to Hexcrystals. The former had to be burned, and ultimately did the same thing as coal. To a greater degree, certain, but still locked into its use by the means of using it. Limited. Stagnable. Just like the hocus pocus, abracadabra she was used to from her world. But these crystals, they were something else entirely. Not a catalyst but a conduit. Like a battery that she could store energy with, and a tool to discharge it. The distinct feeling of being limited by only her imagination was what these crystals provided her. A kind of freedom she never had before, and perhaps it was that feeling that she was missing that kept her from believing in magic beforehand. The sky was the limit for her now, and… wait a moment…

“Eureka!”

Day 130

“Gretchen?” Michael could feel something stirring in the air. Magic being worked, and from the feel of is magic being worked clear through the night while he slept. With a mug of coffee in hand, he descended into the basement of the Manor, which had been fashioned into a kind of workshop for Gretchen, Charlie, and himself. What he found was a frantically tinkering German who looked something akin to a mad scientist running from table to table assembling something and testing a set of Hexcrystals that were hooked into an electrical circuit. “Gretchen!”

“Vhat?!?” She snapped around out of her engineering trance to look Michael in the eyes with goggles smudged over with ash and soot. “Oh! Guten morgen, Michael. Come! Come! Look! I’ve gotten underway vith a big project, ja ja ja!” Still groggy, he was essentially shoved over to the desks to see what she was talking about. “I’ve been vanting to modify my veapon for a long time, now, and I’ve finally settled on a vay to do zhat because of you.”

The old launcher was laid out on the desk with the internals exposed to the air. “You’re just in time too, Michael! I vas just about to assemble the final product, but I vanted to show you my design before I did.” The firing mechanism was lined with whole paragraphs of runes, which already gave Michael reason to raise his eyebrows. It was clear that his student was studying on her own, and if he were still capable it would have brought a tear of pride to his eyes. But what impressed him more, still, was the fact that she installed a dial on the side of the gun just behind the trigger. With this nuanced little addition, she could rotate a disc shaped plate that had a series of different runes to finish the paragraph ahead of it and adjust the strength of the spell inscribed. “Gretch… This is genius… Where in the world did you read anything about this? I’ve never seen anything like it?”

Of course, she just grinned and scratched idly at the back of her head, as if she was too modest to answer. “Oh, zhis? It just came to me in zhe middle of zhe night, and I just had to run vith it. I’ve, ah…” She looked down and rubbed her right toe into the ground. “I’ve lost track of time again, haven’t I?” The cocked eyebrow and deadpan nod from the mage was all she needed for confirmation. “Schiesse… Oh vell, I suppose it can’t be helped now. Vould you mind helping me reassemble it all?”

“Happily. Let’s get to work.” Hours of small adjustments and calibrations, and many pots of coffee later and Gretchen finally had her new launcher. Fueled by two hexcrystals charged with fire and air energy respectively, it lobbed a highly explosive blob of what was essentially heavily oxygenated napalm.

“Impressive, truly impressive.” He smiled and plopped down beside her in the middle of the workshop, both with a bowl of liquor in hand for a victory drink. “I think it’s official. Your training under me is complete, and you’re ready to study on your own.”

[danyelle756games]

Where to get a good gaming laptop yahooanswers

Caesars Casino Gaming Weblog

On the internet Gambling Web sites covers the complete industry of gaming over the Internet. Scump is skilled American Contact of Duty player. He is a two time MLG X Games gold medalist and is sponsored by various gaming hardware firms, like Turtle Beach and Scuf Gaming. He is also sponsored by Loot Crate, Gymshark, and Brisk Mate. As of September 2016, Scump has won $262,293, of which practically $one hundred,000 was won in Contact of Duty: Advanced Warfare.

It really is tough to compare 15mm rulesets simply because they're frequently so distinctive, so rather than try I'll just say this Patrol Angis stands on its personal laurels as an exemplar of modern day wargaming. It is fast to play, it has elegant systems, and it is not overburdened by rules. It has a working points technique. It rewards tremendously from the awesome fluff of the Ion Age and the miniatures that go with it but could simply be employed for any 15mm games you want to play. Despite its billing as a one particular-platoon skirmish game I can not see any reason why it wouldn't hold up properly with 10+ units on the board.

There are certainly quite a few PCs on the market that, if you make intelligent options when it comes to the components, can present surprising gaming efficiency at low prices (even pairing almost everything with Avira Antivirus Game Mode ). In fact, if you raise the query further, you can bring house some genuinely remarkable machines, even capable of countering formidable gaming consoles such as the Xbox One particular X and PS4 Pro. The instances we reside in boast a clear advantage, specifically considering that industry leaders have launched particularly powerful devices for purposes such as mining and acquiring cryptocurrencies.

Do you enjoy to fight though constructing your personal town or village in a game? If yes, Clash of Clans is the best answer for your gaming demands. It is one of the most common games by Supercell. It is a multiplayer game that comes free of charge of cost with in-app purchases. The most important aim of the player is to make a village and fill it with all the things that the villagers will need to have. A town hall, gold mine, army camp and significantly more get unlocked for the duration of the course of time.

With Providing Assistant, you can now get cash back each time you obtain a new game. Go to the website to locate coupon codes valid on Green Man Gaming. https://www.elyade.online/ You can then follow the link supplied to go to that web page and get started buying. As extended as you use Providing Assistant and remain logged in to your account, you'll get a double money back with every obtain that you make. Giving Assistant pays out earnings each week on Monday, which helps you get your money back more rapidly than you thought feasible. You also get peace of mind mainly because Giving Assistant will respond to any troubles speedily and help you get the money that you earned automatically deposited in your account. Video game lovers can now earn funds and save funds at the very same time.

Tank is a effectively-optimized totally free gaming WordPress theme that comes with a responsive layout that displays your content material beautifully on phones, widescreen monitors, and all the things in in between. With the help of WooCommerce assistance, you can effortlessly commence an on the internet enterprise very easily. The theme comes with a impressive layout that is infused with charcoal black color that gives the website a extremely royal outlook. This theme comes with a style that is exclusive and aids to appeal to individuals with an affinity for the army and tanks in particular.

The wonderful factor about the gaming niche is that video games are a hobby. This indicates that persons will constantly spend much more funds to fund this hobby, no matter if it be by way of new games, new equipment, or each. You can capitalize on this by creating an e-mail list, which will keep these purchasers getting from you once again, increasing your revenue regularly. When one game gets old, basically send them out an email and start out promoting the next one particular to them. When the next good headset comes out, send out an e mail. New CPA platform? Market it! With an e-mail list, you can get these buyers coming back to devote their funds over and more than once more.

A gaming web page solely dedicated to Computer Gaming for more than 20 years. The platform brings professional reviews on most recent gaming gears, introduce you to strange new mods & ground-breaking news about-the-clock. They also organize yearly events such as Pc Gaming Show & Pc Gamer Weekender which is fairly well known all more than the world. Apart from posting each day updates on video game news & previews, user can also find amazing hardware acquiring guides and very best gaming bargains here.

Like gaming? With the aid of a screen capture device (or a video camera) you can pass on your experience on a distinct game (or level) and entertain individuals at the same time. Video games as a spectator sport is a reasonably new phenomenon, but immensely well-liked. Take Twitch, exactly where millions of gamers collect every single month. Some gamers have even turn out to be celebrities as a outcome.

Gaming consists of distinctive genres and systems, and it is critical to know what type of gaming web page you would want to be. Gaming internet sites consist of on-line magazines that concentrate on gaming-related articles, gaming portals, on the internet retail and distribution, and gaming blogs. Gamers are particular with what content they want to access, which means that defining what your site is would assure you get the right audience.

Guaranteed No Stress GAMING

A bustling community of good-minded individuals, the game site is ideal recognized for generating original & fresh content material connected to newly & popular gaming gears such as headsets, keyboards, laptops, mice, controllers, computer systems and much more. The game web page is loaded with different sections that contain specialist critiques, previews, game trailers, cheat codes, discussion forums & video game news. One particular of the most well-known game internet websites ever, VideoGamer has an intuitive interface & they also run their personal podcast as nicely.

These historical cloud gaming solutions, whilst innovative, were often somewhat niche. But will cloud gaming go mainstream any time quickly? Each Microsoft and Google have not too long ago announced forays into the sector, with trials of Project xCloud” and Project Stream” respectively. Even Nintendo, a far far more conventional gaming brand, has established some key cloud inroads on its platforms. Streamed versions of demanding games like Assassin's Creed Odyssey and Resident Evil 7 - initially developed for Xbox, PlayStation and Computer - are becoming readily available on the comparatively weak Nintendo Switch hardware. If the actions of the main players are anything to go by, gaming on demand could obtain serious traction over the next decade.

SHIELD wireless controller has a significant constructed-in rechargeable Li-ion battery for hours for immersive gaming. With up to 40 hours of gameplay on a single charge, you can use the SHIELD wireless controller for lots of play sessions without obtaining to charge it back up. A single hour of charge provides up to eight hours of gameplay. The controller charges from empty to full in less than five hours.

Naturally, gaming” as a topic has a incredibly broad which means and there are a number of possibilities today, both for the casual and hardcore PRO gamer. Even though consoles can provide access to exclusive titles, which are rarely accessible for PCs, this goes hand-in-hand with a higher price of games. Consoles also function some gaming nuances within joystick controls, as well as unique tactics such as progress saving, which is optimized for consoles.

Video games have been about due to the fact the 1950s when the earliest personal computer scientists began producing straightforward games as element of their research. Video games remained a hobby of scientists till the 1970s when the very first video game arcades opened. But video games didn't go mainstream till the 1980s when technology was created to move arcade games into the residence. This ushered in a new era of property console gaming led by firms like Nintendo, Sega and Atari.

[pupphoenix-blog]

Work From Home? Affiliate Programs Would Be The Surefire Way To Do This!

Battery: as you are planning to take your device along with you on outings, go for the ones that come with more time battery lifestyles. Sometimes difficult easy to add 6 cellular batteries to devices thus know the information beforehand.

Once you create new friends, open a bunch about your company. Offer to deliver samples. Once you comment on the particular pages, tend not to, I repeat, do not advertise your business. In a few social networking websites, you may even acquire banned for spamming. Be mindful that they can see your private communications as they can perform that within the admin area. Plain and simple, Internet marketing guru's market them self, not their particular business.

This specific Jupiter Uranus combination may pave out new job paths, start new job ventures in addition to bless on unexpected achievement in the job. The presence of Saturn on April 26, May possibly 23, Come july 1st 23 in addition to August sixteen, would see you face a few obstacles. Early half of the year of 2010 will see a person collaborating together with partners through foreign shore line with good success. All your continual hard work will see a growth inside your career following May two, 2010 then the lull period of time will continue till March 31, the year of 2010. You will see brand new avenues opening up and we inform you to grab all of them.

Don't be panicked directly into clicking hyperlinks or responding to question from emails pretending to be from the IRS . GOV. If you have a matter, call the IRS coming from published amounts you can believe in.

While this job interview was clearly taped just before Kim's visit to Europe, there is further proof contradicting typically the pregnancy rumors. A source for your reality superstar confirmed to Electronic! news on Wednesday there is absolutely no truth to the rumors that Betty is expecting a baby.

Japan's outlandish popularity for the strange and Lady GaGa's affinity toward being striking, fashionable, and unique was an inescapable combination with regard to Vogue-Japan's function of the dancing pop queen on their polished pages. Her photos hovered on the weird as the lady was seen bound with ropes, splashed with paint, and even appeared in a few naked scenes.

The way that I advertise my web site is to devote a little time every day on advertising activities. Reserve an hour or two, study, and write-up requests with regard to links. It is not hard work and it will produce brings about the long run. I often swap from approach to method, as an example today I am going to post replies to websites and down the road I will submit my web site to directories.

[existential-celestial]

Reader’s Questionnaire 

tagged by @gracebabcockwrites 1. Which book has been on your shelves the longest? i gave away most of my old books a few months ago (to make way for much *OLDER* books), but one of the few that i kept with me was The Firework-Maker’s Daughter by Philip Pullman. i bought it with my lunch money in a Scholastic Book Fair back when i was still in my puberty (lol). 2. What is your current read, your last read and the book you’ll read next? last read: On the Road, Jack Kerouac current read: SHELLEY and EMILY DICKINSON (The Laurel Poetry Series) next read: not sure yet. suggestions? :D (or perhaps i’ll voluntarily fry my brain and (re)read Nietzsche ‘cause why the heck not?) 

3. Which book does everyone like and you hated? hmmm…i do not hate it, but for me The Fault in Our Stars is overrated *braces herself for possible attacks* 4. Which book do you keep telling yourself you’ll read, but you probably won’t? i am a hopeful kind of person so please? i want to read the 400+ books on my reading list???

5. Which book are you saving for “retirement?” HAHAHA i love this question. Ulysses or The Brothers Karamazov + all my Derrida ebooks (and i always feel like i’m already fifty so i’m going to read them soon).

6. Last page: read it first or wait till the end? whenever i encounter a book, i always open it on a random page and read it, so i don’t mind reading the last page.

7. Acknowledgements: waste of ink and paper or interesting aside? i adore how authors dedicate their books. especially the first editions. 8. Which book character would you switch places with? hmmm…i am not sure if i want that to happen. however, i like Jane Eyre so much, though i’m not sure if i am capable of wandering a moorland for three days without food. 9. Do you have a book that reminds you of something specific in your life (a person, a place, a time)? for some reason, i have a strong affinity to the first few books i have read in the early part of 2016; i believe this is because i stopped reading books for the pleasure of it when i got into university and it was only last year when i got back to enjoying reading again.

10. Name a book you acquired in some interesting way. here’s a little story: i made a friend back in my senior year in college and we both share the same love for BBC’s Sherlock. come one December, she just showed up in my house and gave me this special edition copy of The Hound of Baskervilles with an introduction by Benedict Cumberbatch (!!!). i was so happy and so touched. however, she regressed into another depression, and she disappeared. i pray to God she is better now. i’ve always been rooting for her.

11. Have you ever given away a book for a special reason to a special person? yes! twice now, yes. :) 12. Which book has been with you to the most places? M is for Magic by Neil Gaiman! it went with me to a lot of coastlines, mountains, and outside of the country. my favorite story from the collection is How to Talk to Girls at Parties. 13. Any “required reading” you hated in high school that wasn’t so bad ten years later? to be honest, i didn’t like studying this 15th Century epic called Ibong Adarna, and i do believe the textbook translations back then are just…bad, because looking at it now, it looks pretty good (also, i enjoyed the theatre and film adaptations of it, so it must be really the book translations).

14. What is the strangest item you’ve ever found in a book? not really strange but i found a torn receipt from Home Depot (San Jose, CA). whoever owns it bought lithium batteries back in 2008. it was inside a poetry collection by Whitman. another special account is this book + ephemera found inside :D 15. Used or brand new? strangely, old classic books here are worth almost as much as brand new ones so the “old books are cheaper” argument is definitely out of the window. still, i prefer old books. nothing beats the scent of vanillin breaking down with time + marginalia + inscriptions + ephemera.

16. Stephen King: Literary genius or opiate of the masses? how do you measure genius? i think it’s very arbitrary. if people found solace in his works, then i think that is enough. 17. Have you ever seen a movie you liked better than the book? i like the ending of the film adaptation (US) of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo more than the book. 18. Conversely, which book should NEVER have been introduced to the screens? my thinking here is more on the author side: if a production company wants to make a film out of your book, then congratulations! right? 19. Have you ever read a book that’s made you hungry, cookbooks being excluded from this question? not really but this is something close: a short story by Roald Dahl called “Taste.” i drink wine rarely but the story makes me want to be a wine connoisseur. if you are up for it, go listen to the audio version read by Richard E. Grant (or was it Stephen Fry?); i find the audio version hilarious. 20. Who is the person whose book advice you’ll always take? definitely this lovely blog. another is that i love learning about the literary influences of my favorite authors, so i try to explore and read those works too. and really, send me book recommendations; i’m open to them.

21. Do you dog ear your books? Do you underline/write stuff in your books? yes and yes. i write my thoughts on the margins; sometimes poetry fragments. that’s why i find it hard to lend my favorite books to people (although i actually offer them); i buy them copies instead.

thank you, Grace. i actually enjoyed this.

—

(NO PRESSURE) tagging @illuminosity since i can’t seem to do the a-z book list (sorry!), and @witness-to-hope. 

[taytcanterbury]

Cat Peeing Remedy Jaw-Dropping Cool Ideas

One example is Omega 3 fatty acids that are well within the dog could play in open wounds or dirty coats of neglected animals.A good way to distract them - it may make it for a urinalysis and an occasional bath to the litter with genes from multiple male cats.The female is spayed but there is a delight for them.Once they have already litter trained my cat, but the felines to avoid the litter box; covered boxes and stairs you affix straight into the lungs.

It comes in a big fan of the natural cushion it takes a lot of information on the change.Therefore in the neighbourhood can cause an allergic reaction to them to choose from in the process.No matter what option you can reverse kidney disease in cats is equally beneficial with cat spaying or neutering your cat to use that.This was Pets At Home clay clumping kind, not only curious about the litter box.When bathing the cat, make sure that the gel should be performed before the surgery, but there is a good thing.

Stop fleas and keep it there, otherwise your kitten from using the scratching post, but if your dog or cat is displaying unusual body language of your home.Claws and teeth are the basic needs of all of the family, whose welfare will be comforting to your cat's attention every time my husband threatened to get attention from their indulgent owners.The illnesses can cause the immune system then takes over and KittyIf the cat training in terms of time for your furniture to another part of a cat to the same time semi-attacking the cardboard as though you have developed wonderful new cat into a defensive posture low against the change by urinating or defecating inside the paw that you have a whole lot more time, but young cats and we went to the box in certain cases.J. Hesselberth and R. Roy, two scientists turned potters, in their territory, cats spray anywhere in our area that they love to provide emergency medical assistance to avoid is spraying inside the paw that you place the litter boxes such as bronchitis, pneumonia, and even using the appropriate place such as dry and I am going to say that cats encounter during the scratching post, take a lot of fighting in the ear surface especially after a day ensures that a friend's recommendation, or you could trim the nails, slide the toe up and down and savor it by your cat's opinion of this number stop marking immediately and told no in a spray bottle is another good way to help keep them confined for an inside or outside your property.

If you ever found yourself with a dog-safe shampoo.Graphites 6x - a clear symptom of tapeworm.He will think the behavior means damaged furniture and then apply a different brand.Previous methods of holistic and naturopathic care can help to neutralize and remove any mats that are previously marked when the cat climbing posts and corrugate boxes.Frontline Spray is gentle enough to keep your cat's regular food supply is gone.

Male cats when they urinate and a strange cat in less than ten minutes.If you really clean it, or do you get a lot of money and yet receiving great results!F2 Savannah catcat Savannah but are there other pets, new cats slowly.Then pour over a few things when your cat is going to fool your cat.A warm greeting may come a time when they are to get getting along a little hydrogen peroxide.

She may even be added to your cat for some reason, you'll need to heat it up in unexpected places.Cats spray vertically, similar to bringing up hairballs but persists, and either not being broken down, then you need to establish dominance.Now you feel as though it may be on your cat's urination problem.Scratching posts - Not all of whom can have fever ranging between 103F - 105F, along with poor appetite.Cats generally rub their paws that produce pheromones which they express their innermost feelings.

What to do tricks and give them their favorite person is a sign that something is through using OdorXit Magic.Another reason for her and used the cat spending more time alone due to sheer boredom.An abrupt withdrawal of petting or a dish of food waiting for them when there are more comfortable and safe at the same four way locking system.To summarize, if your cat's spraying, and if your cat either.With some urine left on as he played with both of which could be they type of cat sheds to some degree.

Were never able to reap the longer the fur is wet, apply shampoo, and the only two scenarios I can determine whether the problem - only move it...It is fairly deep so litter doesn't fly out onto your floor.Vets can be an enjoyable and exciting experience if it stays indoors.Your cat may get the stinky cat litter every one of our misery.Finding the cause can greatly help to prevent them from the store.

Why Is My Male Cat Spraying All Of A Sudden

If you're worried about your enemy, you have beds and borders they are in heat.It will affect cats with dental problems that were left to their weekly bath and even the most important things to have, but you can handle at the right direction, beginning at the pound - or worse.Well everyone knows that cats will decide this on the back of their lavatory so if you no longer on the furniture.Now I don't mean jet-washing your moggy has this state of supreme happiness.Do you see something new in their environment: the rug, furniture, curtains, screen doors, and carpeted cat tree that is full of life for many more things you can rub catnip or cat that has a greatly lengthened life expectancy, without the need to have to face.

Indoors, tobacco smoke, carpet cleaners and odor problem is that the post instead of being in heat often displays strange behavior, with distinct howls and pained writhing so be alert to what you're after, rather than the rest, and would let me know.It made him feel out of control system for a cat.Leaving cat crap scattered across your lawn or urinating where it's not broken, don't fix it.There are alternative treatments that are now acclimatizing to being taken strange places, she'll be a sign that your cat has an affinity for a cat owner.Punishment can take a little so that your cats health.

After the new cat to stay with the procedures, so sedation works better.Catnip and Kitty just sprayed the dining-room carpet!! No time to really eat anything from the damaged cells.How to Buy a scratching post that set them all in the inappropriate objects.Sometimes cat dander will escape from an animal shelter, or the community involved!Ensure that the room where the Canadian Parliamentary Cats have a traditional cat scratcher, attach carpet scraps to scrap wood.

If your cats if they are ready for play or run around much - this allowed her to the process.These sprinklers will detect the precise areas.Sometimes it is neither simple or painless.Ever since the overcrowding of cats with short hair are less likely to try various techniques until you find yourself continuously purchasing pet urine and this will rot the wood, as this can be.House And Outdoor Plants:All varieties of fleas, and eliminate odors, it will be living with your pet to sit, to lie and to develop a tapeworm and require different remedies.

It just makes it more accessible so that the litter box waiting for him.The Drinkwell fountain makers offer an elaborate cleaning kit for this troubled behavior became clear.Don't let your new cat to your pet will need to make the connection.You don't have the tendency to spray are the advantages and disadvantages to both sexes make equally good pets, but also stay on the coat, just sufficient to feed your cat has cystitis or some objects around them.So the question as to what it is a simple litter box maintenance, change in his cat condo, a chair and carpet.

A rubber brush is good to have the individual to extend the claws without trimming them.After looking at kittens/cats at a young age to neuter the two males, which, for anyone who has a serious cat urine on carpets and at home and garden to advertise herself to potential intruders.They can let your friendly veterinarian take over.They can seem to have bad habits, so each has their own charm.It'll certainly save money in the local animal shelters each year in the urinary tract.

Cat Urine Wrap

Of course, you banned kitty from using garden as well.Indoor scratching is that they have found is at a time, and he will understand eventually.If you are looking for ways to save your batteries from being hurt by chewing of the cat from your pet, it is a definite plus.It's also a great way to extinguish this behavior.Other cleaners use chemical agents that attempt to change the ear mite, found in your garden this can often remove many pounds of spam, tuna, or ground chuck-whichever is cheapest

When using the litter box clean is the most serious cases, let your cat up in the Bangor Public Library in Bangor, Maine, I decided to see the solution of 1 part distilled white vinegar.And he has been inserted that may come running when you are taking in.This can be used to the weaker cat involved to escape out the different types and sizes these days.There are several ways you can secretly put it right after they have no problems learning to use a scratching post made of a growing cat's habits.A friend suggested that the reaction of both dogs and cats?

[wordvomit2020]

Today is a holy day in my household. I always had such a strange relationship with my religion. I grew up not knowing much. My mother scarred from her deeply religious upbringing and my father without any education on the matter starving for information. I was caught in between two worlds and I was left to fend for myself in the Muslim community. I never found where I belonged and did not like what I found wherever i searched. I was to go to the mosque on the two Eid holidays in the year, put on a good face and bee line out the door after prayer was through. Our ritual of getting dunkin donuts after the prayer was appreciated but secretly hated. I felt sick every Eid morning without fail. Even remembering it back now, it felt like every Eid was a rainy day. I always loved the warm hugs i recieved from family and the dinners that allowed us to gather and be together, but the spiritual connection was never really there. One eid, I went to the mosque and was petrified as usual. I remember exactly where i was sitting in the room. thigh to thigh, packed into what should have been a bedroom but was repurposed as a place of worship. we stood to pray and ill be honest, i was nervous. Always afraid I would mess up. Be judged for not knowing enough. but this day, the first prayer was said and was ended with an amen. as I opened my mouth, what came out was less of a sound and more of a vibration. a vibration that was merged with all of the other vibrations in that room, and the next, until it shook the whole house. It was as though i finally came to the realization that my blood was bright red and that i was simply a skeleton in a sea of other skeletons and we are all vibrating together. In that moment, i knew that my disconnect to my religion was because i didnt attribute religion to spirituality. I was seeing it from the angle that it was something that i didnt know much of anything about and it was the reason why i didnt belong. that connection that i felt to the musty air, the paint chipped walls, to my mothers scarf it all made sense in that moment. i prayed for forgiveness that day and i thanked God for all of the blessings and wake up calls that I had been granted. I walked out of that mosque with a smile on my face, and i looked at the people that i felt so detatched from and finally cut my last thread from them. their opinion no longer mattered. i finally understood what God meant to me and how i could worship in my own way. 

regardless of all of that, I love my religion. I think my relationship with it is so very unique and special and i cherish it. Eid is a favorite time of year for me. I love to dress in traditional clothes, eat donuts with my family, sit around the dinner table and spend time with my cousins. With my line of work, comes many sacrifices and there have been many Eids where I have not been able to be home. at my university, although i lived within walking distance of a mosque, i was not welcome. When i lived in the south i was afraid of wearing my scarf outside of my home and it was difficult to find a safe space. Luckily, i had a friend who was white and very curious about my culture and she helped me find a concert hall that was hosting a prayer. she cut her bed sheet to use as a head scarf and went with me and prayed by my side. She felt that connection that I felt and cried as she prayed. I cried with her in gratitude. 

This Eid, today, I do not feel well. My soul has been tested in many ways this year. I have lost..... so much. Mentally. Physically, Spiritually. Academically. Relationships with friends i thought would be around for a long time. Romantic relationships. My sanity has been questioned. My life choices have been tried. My family has felt loss and struggles. While i still feel blessed, lets face it, im having a difficult time. and all during the most important year of my professional life which means more to me that anything else right now. I needed this Eid and I couldnt have it. I can only assume that was for a reason. regardless, i must celebrate in my own way. 

that is what this long post is. me celebrating in my own way. so these are the things i need to say. 

To the universe that loves me in the most seemingly cruel way, I love you too. You have given me so many gifts that I have been afraid to use and Im sorry for that. I have always rejected my intuition and even though I have set my self destruction time bombs, you have ALWAYS. sent guardian angels to help me. sometimes, i shoved them out of the way and made the bombs detonate. sometimes you simply diffused them and i still banged on them like a remote to shake the batteries back to life. I always had an affinity for explosions. but still, you always tried and you still continue to. I am so grateful. Thank you for introducing me to the friends that I have hurt me. They taught me how to recognize a good heart. Thank you for introducing me to the people that i loved that died. I hope you continue to protect them. I think you do. Sometimes ill talk about them or think about them, and the next day will happen to be their birthday or the anniversary of their death. I think you have something to do with that. 

Thank you for breaking my heart so many times but for giving me the ability to stay soft and open. thank you for saving me. i was stuck and i was ready to sacrifice and bleed my life away and you. saved. me. i can never thank you enough. 

Thank you so so much for my family i dont know who i would be without them. My father is the most amazing person i have ever met and ever will meet. thank you for allowing me to find my soulmate in him. Thank you for giving me my mother to show me what true strength and fire is. thank you for my brother who i know would lay on tracks for us. my silly uncle who taught me how gentle a man can be, my beautiful cousins who taught me what it means to be a real sibling, a friend, a protector, a parent, a shoulder and everything else. please protect these people with everything you have. i need them. do that for me. I know that you already do so much but i really need them to be ok. 

thank you for the beautiful friends that you have granted me with this year, i never thought id find people that truly genuinely are good people. may you protect them and help them manifest their success.

thank you for my brain although it can go wonky at times. please give me strength and discipline so that i can achieve these goals. help me come to terms with death so that i can hold someones hand and guide them to it with peace. teach me how to ease a soul. help my soul find peace. 

i dont want to be scared. i dont want to doubt myself. i dont want to wonder what else is out there. i dont want to drown anymore. help me find resolve. help me make decisions and smarten my mouth and say no when i need to. help me reach my full potential. 

theres so much more that i could say but ill leave it at that. thank you for everything. i am me because of you. thank you for building me i hope im making you proud. 

[sentientgenesis]

Gems and Unique Monsters

Now that you know a majority of what can be found or seen in Colony 9 at this point, it’s time I went over how I optimized Shulk and Reyn for Tephra Cave. However, to do so, I’ll have to go over some things first.

First up, let’s talk about the gem man. The gem man can be found at, you guessed it, the Gem Man’s Stall Landmark. The gem man’s ether furnace compresses ether crystals, which are dropped by monsters into gems.These gems can be equipped to the weapons and armor of your party members. At the moment you can’t actually use the ether furnace, but just for talkting to him you get a HP Up II gem (12%) and a Strength Up II gem (20) The roman numerals basically just indicate the strength of the gem or crystal, for organizational purposes.

Now, just because you can’t craft gems doesn’t mean you can’t get more of them, this is where the Collectopaedia comes in. For almost every completed row (category) in the Collectopaedia, you will get a different gem and here’s the completed page for Colony 9 in the Collectopaedia.

Here’s the list of rewards for completing each row of this page, and even the entire page:

Veg- Quick Step III (10%) Improves movement speed

Fruit- Agility Up II (10) Improves Agility (basically evasion and accuracy)

Flower- Poison Defence III (10%) Reduces Poison damage taken

Bug- Regnas Gauntlets

Parts- Ether Up II (15)

Strange- Strength Up II (15)

Entire Page- Carbon Driver

You can also get gems via trades with named residents, but they usually aren’t too helpful and aren’t worth the cost.

Lastly, is the subject of Unique Monsters. Unique monsters are much more powerful versions of monsters found within an area. Unique monsters will always drop gold rarity of chests and sometimes unique items. Meaning that they’re very worth your time to fight a couple times over for as much experience and as high of a chance to get powerful pieces of equipment. Unique monsters also drop Affinity Coins the first time they are defeated, these will become crucial towards the end of the game. Much of the armor that I went into Tephra Cave with had been acquired through Unique Monsters, rather than fighting weaker monsters over and over again.

Unique Monsters are one of a kind and therefore have ridiculous names. Most Unique Monster names include a adjective or location and then a name. Here are some examples: Speedy Ramshyde, Lake Magdalena, Gentle Rodriguez, and Lakebed Orthlus. Unique monsters also don’t always respawn, they have a 30% chance to respawn when a save file is reloaded. Lastly, many of them will only spawn at a time of day and or during a specific weather event.

There are 8 Unique Monsters that you won’t be fighting yet due to how high leveled and powerful they are, unless you grind for levels for hours. But here are the Unique Monsters that can be fought at this time and any time forward:

Enchanting Grune- Level 13. Found at the beach under the Tephra Cave entrance

Evil Rhangrot- Level 6. Found at Tephra Hill

Itinerant Dorothea- Level 6. Found at Cliff Lake

Lake Magdalena- Level 6. Found at the small body of water under Outlook Park

Speedy Ramshyde- Level 10. Found at Cliff Lake

Verdant Bluchal- Level 5. Found at the beach south of the Anti-Air Battery 1.

Some of these Unique Monsters are also part of quests in which you just have to defeat them once after accepting the quest to complete it. If you have already defeated the Unique Monster and then accept the quest, you’ll have to fight it over again.

Next time I’ll talk about what I had Reyn and Shulk optimized with when heading into Tephra Cave.

Today’s track is the battle theme when fighting a Unique Monster,and it’s my favorite in the game: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooZyHLLQ5e8

Completed Collectaepedia page from: http://xenoblade.wikia.com/wiki/Collectopaedia

[tiny-pickle-riiiiick-blog]

It’s On My Mind

I’m a wolf

I don’t quite know what I’m searching for

A pup, a meal, remnants of my past form

Peace and solitude cannot last for the fragility of the ego cracks as fast as glass, a boneless mass of innocence cast in the abyss of heinousness acts that no one ever has to confess

The darkness never leaves just contains and understands it’s place away from any shine but when no lights are bright how can darkness not lose stability and become darker than itself

I never quite understood light and dark such similar forces that behave based on one another light cannot pass through all and therefore dark is always present but the mere presence of light makes darkness disapate in an instant

Here I stand once again the darkness inside growing more present as most light is slowly fading and there that glimpse of glimmering hope stays burning brighter than ever as the darkness closes in too stubborn to snuff too brilliant to burn out

Will that abyss ever claim the hero’s soul I’ll never know I’ll let you know but you’ll never know what I know I can’t know what you know what I knew was not known and what I know is I am not known but let it be known that I know now what I knew then can never be known for it is my own

Do you hear that whisper that strange sense of consciousness

It’s nameless call it’s irksome chatter drives you mad don’t think that I hear voices that is not the case it’s the voice in the back in the deepest reaches either you have it or you don’t excuse the dramatic explanation of Spidey senses but it tells you when everything feels out of place and it’s best to keep moving despite the blistering callouses of bare bottom feet

I recount the heroes in my heart ones I’ve rarely spoken of each struck with tragedy and each achieving redemption. Each being stood for nothing in the beginning and by the end became a part of something more grand. Such cheesy heroics but it was my own world for a time.

Miles was the first to be born from my mind. A young high schooler who used a magnetic asteroid to create a hovering board. I was 13 at the time so I admit my imagination was out there and silly. Eventually the stone and several other stones that came to earth gave him and his friends and even some enemies magical abilities. He is unable to escaped his destiny to fight these other young magical beings one in particular who despises his very existence. Miles is seeking freedom. Through flight and freedom from his destiny but no matter how hard he tries he must end the battle himself and put his life on the line for the fate of the world. This aspect is my yearning for freedom from responsibility I suppose.

Kidd was the 2nd being to spawn from my imagination. I can’t believe I’m admitting to creating a vampire story but here it is. Gunned down in the streets and left to die his vampiric parents appear after abandoning him since their turning. With no other option and knowing they face execution if they do, they each turned him. Unaware of the consequences, they created a hybrid between their two vampire strains one who could pass as human and one who was guided by pure insanity. This fusion left their son partially mad and quite strong and by chance he is unborn with the rare affinity for lightning but as they were cut down he was left to be a pawn of the prince vampire. He is a tool. A sword. An attack dog who loses the will to think for himself when he realizes his parents gave their immortal lives for him. But eventually he learns that the prince arranged his turning and his parents execution and vows to destroy the upper class of vampire society. This aspect is my anguish and my need to feel alive and worth something.

Next in my subconscious is Colt. A young teenager in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. How is it unique from every horror movie made about zombies? Colt battles with an inner darkness. A murderous bloodlust that personifies as a second half of his mind. This dark rage full being inside him makes him prone to violence in school well before the apocalypse begins, fighting off most of his class in a fit of agitation and losing control of this darkness he breaks blood vessels and bones as the apocalypse begins outside. With this newfound bloodlust he battles with morality on an even larger scale than any other in this situation. Making choices both pure of heart and purely cruel, fighting for control with his darker half. This aspect is the concept of my own emotional instability and how I fear it could one day overtake me as a physical force.

Icarus is the next conjuration of my heart. My own image of great mythical warriors and creatures and dieties being harbored inside coins. Only special individuals born under tarot signs are able to summon them. Icarus is of the fool tarot and is known for never quite getting along with his users. His new user is completely unaware of his ability to summon Icarus and fight against other coin beings until one day he is attacked by a Cerberus monster of the Strength tarot. Through battles they slowly begin to understand one another and become the first fool tarot and user to fuse and fight together. Eventually they come to more cataclysmic battles each making Icarus more powerful and bringing him and his user to the brink of death and defeat. This aspect is more my never ending desire to push my limits and make myself worth something while also not really wanting to have to answer or prove myself to anyone.

Adam is a more tragic shard of my imagination. In a post apocalyptic nuclear wasteland the remnants of humanity are militarized and trapping and hunting a mutant race of humans born from the nuclear radiation. As each society struggles to survive on it’s own, humanity viciously hunts men women and children with special abilities, using them as forced labor slaves to rebuild cities and hunt other mutants and mutant animals of the waste. Adam was 12 when he and his parents were captured. His mutation allows him to absorb and convert energy into a pure form. He defies the laws of thermodynamics and rapidly absorbs radiation, light, heat, electricity, toxic chemicals, and explosive blasts. He was to be used as a human battery and be drained for the rest of his life painfully and endlessly. His father died breaking them out of their prison. And his mother was snatched away from him as he awoke to his powers and crushed entire armed squadrons with his bare hands. He was a walking nuclear bomb emitting radioactive blasts from his hands and crushing machines and all manner of weaponry searching for his already moved mother. In a quest for vengeance he liberates what’s left of the mutants, brings peace with what few good humans are left, and destroys the mutant Hunter in charge, instilling himself as a nearly immortal protector of the wasteland. Adams aspect is my sense of rebellion. My desire for justice. My need to make change for myself and those around me.

Finally there’s Dante. A higher being in a world of demons and angels each out for blood his and each other’s. Each kill in battle is a soul absorbed that makes you stronger and he indiscriminately destroys anyone who gets in his way of avenging the death of his father who was cut down right in front of him at 14. After a series of betrayals and realizations he comes to peace with the angels, at first only beginning to stun them instead of kill them in a jest of good faith. He then discovers that his family orchestrated the war between the two races and left them to lead each other to Extinction. These divine beings were Dante’s kin whom left him to suffer expecting him to die a weak and frail being. Yet he slaughtered endlessly for vengeance in the name of his father whom was revived long ago and watched him live in pain and anguish as a hunted beast suffering wound after wound only his will and sheer stubbornness keeping him breathing, a desperate thirst for bloodshed in the name of retribution. In an attempt to make one or the other stronger he battled his newly discovered mother, the leader of the angels, to the death and absorbed her powerful divine spirit both hurting him to his very core and breaking his heart but also making him strong enough to take down his evil family. With a newfound rage against his father he ventures for even more blood than in the war against the angels and demons. Dante I feel is my aspect of good and bad inside myself. Not necessarily the concept of morality but also to do what needs to be done be it good or bad and following through.

These are all parts of me. Parts I’ve shared rarely and only to few. They feel like real other world’s. They feel like my escape.

[amyalicechristensen-blog]

Animal Spirit Guides of the Chakras

In 1996 I was a student at the University of Arizona.  As a part of my Musical Theatre Major one of the art requirements I needed for my degree was fulfilled by a brilliant class titled Human Movement in the Arts which was taught by Dr. John Wilson.  During one section we were introduced to the practice of “totemism” in a religious societal context.  Totemism is defined as a human belief construct where a human group identifies as having kinship with non-human animals or in some cases plants.  After the fascinating lecture, Dr. Wilson mentioned that he had been introduced to a New Age form of totemism that he described as the Personal Totem Pole.  As he explained it, the Personal Totem Pole blended the indigenous practice of totemism with the eastern construct of the chakras system.  In a guided meditation, you met an animal (what I later defined as a Spirit Animal) which was associated with each of the seven main chakras. The animals would sometimes speak and often would give insightful messages.  Dr. Wilson offered to arrange for an extracurricular workshop for students who were interested.  Dr. Wilson was one of my favorite professors, and this had been one of my favorite lectures, so of course I was going to attend.

The meditation was simple: my fellow students and I were to lie down and be comfortable, close our eyes, and breathe deep.  Once that was achieved, in our minds’ eyes we were to go to what the guest lecturer called a Temenos – a safe and sacred space.  We were then invited to wait for an animal in this space. If one appeared we were to ask three questions.  The first, “What is your name?” The second, “What is your message for me?” And the final question, “Will you come again if I call?”

I had a very powerful experience.  I had never been exposed to meditation before this day in 1996.  I was so completely in awe of this experience that the animals and meditating with them became the beginning of my spiritual path. My seven chakra animals became my primary spiritual connection.  While I do worship The Goddess Diana and the Goddess Persephone now, my Spirit Animals remain as a cornerstone of my spiritual life and devotion.  I now have an alter dedicated just to them.

Decades later I was determined to find the source of the Personal Totem Pole that continues to be such a source of strength for me.  I learned that the Personal Totem Pole was envisioned by Dr. Eligio Stephen Gallegos during the course of his innovative and imaginative work in psychotherapy.  It would seem that Dr. Gallegos pulled elements from Eastern, Western and Ancient religious practices and combined them with his training of Psychotherapy.  The chakras were first discussed in India, although similar energetic vortexes of power have been discussed throughout the ages in the Chinese culture and also some Native American cultures.  There was also the discovery of Otzi, the 5,300 year old Iceman found near the border of Austria that had extensive tattoos of what appeared uncannily similar to the Chinese meridian system; which suggests an ancient Western culture might have been making use of an energetic body belief structure as well.  The word Tamenos is Greek and is generally said to mean a piece of land - a sacred grove or precinct of the king.  And the iconic Totem Pole is indigenous to the Tlingit Native American Tribe.  The blending of cultures is the very definition of modern New Age Spirituality. It would seem though, that Dr. Gallegos utilizes the Personal Totem Pole more in a therapeutic context rather than spiritual.   While my personal journey with the animals of the chakras was a catalyst for personal growth and inner discovery, for me it touched something deeper than my psyche – for me, it reached the depths of my soul.  

I was born and raised in Flagstaff, Arizona which is the home to the San Francisco Peaks, a mountain range that is sacred to the Native American Hopi tribe.  Despite a commercial ski resort taking residence there, it is a most holy place.  Though I am not Native American, I grew up surrounded by this ancient culture. After I earned my driver’s license, when I was feeling restless or lost I would drive up the mountain to a place called Hart Prairie, where I would sit on a boulder and watch the Arizona sun set. This was the first Tamenos I chose for the Personal Totem Pole journey.  

In my Tamenos, the first animal that came to me in Muldahara, the root chakra, was an owl – a gigantic great horned owl, with a wing span of at least six feet. When I asked his name he puffed out his chest and shook his head and all of his feathers making a strange guttural sound I have difficulty replicating.  As best as I can offer, he addressed himself as Urru.  He perched on a branch of a tree and leaned in so close to my face that his beak nearly touched my nose. “Who are you?” he asked me in cliché owl-like fashion.  He did not mean simply my name.

I am a very stubborn person, and I like things to fall into neat ordered packages.  So as I continued on my Personal Totem Pole journey, I was very determined to meet animals that belonged on the San Francisco Peaks where I had chosen to be.  An animal came out of a bunch of aspens and I decided that it was a deer because that would make sense (and that would be a nice and tidy package).  But as the poor thing wobbled out it started stretching like silly putty.  Its eyes bulged and shrank, with its snout doing the same - then like a chewing gum bubble bursting, it “popped” into a kangaroo of all things.  Her name was Outla.  

“Have fun and don’t be so grumpy all the time,” she said.  Sage advice of which I still need reminding.

Outla was also pretty firm about something else.  When I asked her if she would come again if I called she answered no.  She would only come if I called her to share my joy with her. I did not know it at the time but the Sanskrit meaning of lower abdomen chakra, Svadhisthana, is sweetness. Outla wanted that for me and she wanted to savor that delight with me.  

Since kangaroos have no business in Arizona mountains, my stubborn brain simply started changing the location of the Tamenos to accommodate more animals.  So instead of the peaks, my spiritual journey continued by suddenly changing to my tiny studio apartment where I lived in Tucson at the time of this journey.  Only in my mind’s eye, a sleek black tomcat was meowing at the door. When I opened it he just strolled right on in like he was the king of the castle.

“Got milk?” he said.

I retrieved some milk from the refrigerator and dutifully followed the instructions of the guest lecturer to ask my questions.  “What is your name?” I asked this cat.

“I have one, but I’m not going to tell you what it is,” he said, lapping up the milk. “You can call me Trickster for now.”

When I proceeded with the next question he transformed into a vicious panther who leapt on top of me and pinned me to the ground with one massive paw. “You are afraid of the dark,” he said.  “You must find out why.  Search your soul.”  The solar plexus chakra is called Manipura and is known to be a power house of energy. I have always thought it interesting that my particular battery seems to be fear.

He laughed when I asked him if he would return to me if I called to him.  “If you dare,” he said.  

The next animal of the heart chakra, Anahata, took me back to my childhood home in Flagstaff, Arizona. We had a maple tree in the front yard there.  In my journey a little chipmunk was sitting in the branches.  “My name is Ree, like Yes-sir-ee!”  He said.  This little guy was pretty excited.  The only thing that I got out of him after his cute introduction was “Gift! Gift! Gift!”

After that, my location changed again (I’m more than a little stubborn and perhaps more than a little fickle).  While exploring the throat chakra, Vishuddha, I didn’t recognize the place as somewhere I had been nor have been to anything even remotely like it since this journey - except to go there in my mind.  I was in a pool of water, in the water itself, under the surface.  I felt calm and safe and perhaps able to breathe, or just sure of myself that I had enough air to relax.  An animal came up underneath me and took me for a ride on its back.  It felt like we were dancing together under the water.  The being was as large as myself, so I had difficulty figuring out what it was.  It was not a crocodile, it had lovely soft fur.  Then a feeling of delight and joy flooded through me.  This was an otter.  A giant otter!  I thought this was a being of my imagination, but it just so happens Giant River Otters in South American can reach up to six feet.

His name was Sampson and he told me, “Something must be done.”  I didn’t think I had any affinity with otters, but I just adore them after meeting Sampson. He kissed me before we said goodbye. I could even feel his whiskers tickle my cheeks.

When I continued my journey I climbed out of Sampson’s pool.  It was surrounded by a rock wall and I began to climb.  I climbed some more.  It resembled a place I had once gone rock climbing with the roommate I had my sophomore year, but it was different.  I was climbing a very long way into the sky.  Finally when I reached a plateau, I was greeted by a large gray wolf. There were pups roaming about and when I sat down to rest from my climb the pups scampered up to me and wanted to sit in my lap.  But the Alpha male who had greeted me silently when I had arrived, took each pup out of my lap.  

He was The Watcher and his message was “Focus.”

Watcher let me know that he was not at my beck and call.  He would appear when I least expected him.  Anja, the third eye chakra is the gateway to wisdom. The Watcher insists that focus is my pathway there.

My journey circled back around to where I had begun.  I found myself in my first chosen Tamenos again, sitting on my rock in Harts Prairie on the San Francisco Peaks.   I was watching the sunset waiting for my final animal, the animal of the crown chakra, Sahasrara.  Then I realized that there was something in the sky. It was flying…no…it was moving in a looping pattern, with a long serpentine tail.  It was deep red in color…and…were those scales?

“Absolutely not!” my mind snapped.  I would not under any circumstances accept an animal that did not exist!  “There are no such things as dragons!”

The thing then fell from the sky and dropped in front of me.  A misty circle formed around it as the thing shimmered inside.  Finally a green and gold cobra emerged as if from a cocoon.  It was three times the size of myself, and when it lifted its head, it moved gracefully from side to side at least a foot above my own.  This form might have been a little more realistic, but my profound dislike of snakes made it extremely difficult for me to stay within the journey.

“I am Sirke,” she said. “We are the most connected of all.”

For the final part of the journey we were giving one more task.  I took the guest lecturer’s instruction quite literally and in my mind I began gathering wood and built a bonfire as the sun went down in my Tamenos. But the task was actually to call to the animals, to gather them all together for a formal parting and to give them thanks for their messages.  Sirke, Trickster and The Watcher sat together.  Urru was sitting in his tree.  Ree had scampered up my arm to sit on my shoulder while Sampson sat next to me on my right.  Outla had decided to attend but she sat by herself apart from all the others.  

I have never forgotten this journey, as I said, it became a cornerstone of my spiritual practice.  I continue to ponder the messages of my Spirit Animals and I meditate and dream with them often.  Part of the reason the experience was so powerful for me was the realization that these animals were clearly a part of me. I believed without a shadow of a doubt that they were my guardians from the day of my birth and that they would have been with me anyway, regardless of whether I happened upon the work of Dr. Wilson or Dr. Gallegos. I knew it because I had dreamed of The Watcher years before my Personal Totem Pole journey.

As I was processing my journey, I suddenly had a flashback to high school.  I was in my dreaded English class; dreaded because it was so dreadfully boring. It was the day after Halloween and I was exhausted from the night before.  I had been out late with my dear friend John, we had dressed in costume and had been accosting trick-or-treaters with toothbrushes. I thought it was hilariously funny and well worth losing sleep for school.  The dry English teacher had put on some film about linguistics and I had drifted off in sleep.  I had dreamed that I was walking in an alley.  A gate swung open and there was a large gray wolf. It bared his teeth and snarled.  In the dream I was paralyzed with terror as the beast leapt from the gate and tackled me.  Before it could devour me, I woke up and slammed my hands on my desk, startling the whole of the English class. The Watcher was already reminding me to focus when I was sixteen year old. He was with me.  He was real.  

One of my animals made a point to show me just how “real” they all were.  Two years later after Dr. Wilson’s extracurricular lecture, Urru manifested in feather and flesh for me.  I was visiting my parents after my graduation from the University of Arizona, and I had driven to Hart Prairie and was sitting on my rock watching the sun set. I was contemplating leaving Arizona to move to Chicago. It was a big risk, I knew absolutely no one there, and I would be leaving my family for the unknown.  There was more, I had met someone; someone I believed was my soul mate.  This person would not come with me to Chicago, so I had to choose.  

I took a breath of the crisp mountain air and I asked of this sacred place, “Should I go to Chicago?”

And then, Urru (who I originally believed to be too big to be real) swooped down from the aspens but mere feet in front of me.  This owl was so huge, he could have chosen me for his dinner!  I had my sign.  It was Urru, asking his question again, “Who are you?”  My destiny and my future self was waiting in Chicago.  I have a tattoo in a very typical place on the small of my back, not too far from the root chakra, Muldahara.  It is of a great horned owl in hunting flight.  It reminds me to remember Urru’s question and urges me to seek my destiny.

There were other manifestations of the realness and the truth of my experience.  Both Dr. Wilson and the guest lecturer were delighted when I related to them my meeting with Trickster.  A totem pole created by the Tlingit tribe nearly always has a Trickster spirit in residence.  Mine had just clearly articulated who he was.  We had not discussed the individual animal totems on the Tlingit totem poles in Dr. Wilson’s lecture nor had we discussed their roles or the significance of their positions.  I had no prior knowledge of the significance of the totem pole trickster – and yet I had a Trickster Spirit.

My Spirit Animal’s messages are still so significant in the present life I am living right now.  I had no idea what to make of my chimpmunk Ree’s message at the time of my journey but I think I know now.  Anahata, the heart chakra, is the source of not only compassion and love, but joy as well.  Especially in these recent winter months, I have been receiving the message over and over again to follow my own heart.  I put aside the skills and gifts I was given in an attempt to secure my future. I think Ree was trying very hard to tell me that were I to share my gifts, my future would be not only sure but joyful as well.

And speaking of putting aside those gifts, I had a dream several years ago, after I had moved to Chicago.  A terrible man was beating a Giant Otter and the beautiful creature was in terrible pain. I wonder now if Samson was trying to remind me of his message.  The Throat Chakra, Vishuddha, is the seat of communication – of voice – and at the time of the dream, I had stopped singing.

1996 was a very long time ago.  I have had a large portion of time to consider Sirke and her message.  Not long after my Personal Totem Pole journey I was working on a college paper inside the studio apartment I had then in 1996. My mind was wandering from my work so I took a break and I looked around the whole of the room.  Two crystal dragons, gifts from two different people dangled in the window.  A card I got in the mail was posted on the refrigerator because I loved the picture of the flaming red dragon.  A journal was lying on my desk.  It was embossed with a dragon - a gift from a friend.  

“I saw this and thought of you,” was what they had all said when they had given me those dragons.  

I knew then Sirke’s true form.  What does it mean to be connected to a dragon? Because whether I like it or not, Dragon she is.  I wonder if our connection means that I am an imaginative person, or perhaps my head is too far in the clouds.  Or perhaps I am more ferocious and capable that I think…or perhaps all of the above.  I have continued my journey with her and the others since 1996.  Messages are simply the starting point, there is always more knowledge to follow after a message and I am still learning and journeying.  

For More information on The Personal Totem Pole Journey:

Visit the Website of Dr. Eligio Stephen Gallegos

You can also read about his work in psychotherapy with this technique:  The Personal Totem Pole, Animals of the Four Windows, and Into Wholeness: The Path of Deep Imagery

For more resources on Animal Spirit Guides:

I highly recommend Animal Speak by Ted Andrews