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soldierjohnwatson · 7 years ago

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I'm sick today. I think my goal will be tocurl up with some blankets and get through as many of these as I can.

I Need Fluff. Get Me Fluff. (Please? Pretty please?)

Hi Nonny! I have a TONNE of fluff fic rec lists! It’s the most requested Fic Rec lists next to angst!

Funny and Fluffy Stories

Chapstick and Lipstick

Irene the Matchmaker

The Speckled Blonde / BedSharing

BedSharing Pt. 2 and Insecure Sherlock

Bed Sharing Pt. 3 (Dec. 2017)

Fake Relationship / For a Case

Meeting the Family

Christmas: Oblivious That One or The Other is In a Relationship

Married For a Case / Fake Husbands

Tooth Rotting FluffHugs & Cuddles and Tooth-Rotting Fluff Pt. 2

Christmas Fic Recs (Dec. 2017)

Marriage and Weddings

Proposals

Weddings / Proposals / Husbands and Established Relationship

But since you asked so nicely, let’s give you some more from my Monstrous Fluff Fic Rec list. Hmmm what section should I do? Hmm, I was going to do platonics, but I got another request for Smut-free, so I’ll save it for them :) Let’s update some of these lists :D Hope you like them!! :D

HUGS, CUDDLES and KISSES Pt. 2

Undeterred by 221b_hound (T, 221 w. || 221B Ficlet, Christmas, Mistletoe, Kisses) – Sherlock does not approve of this mistletoe nonsense. Though he will make exceptions. Part 6 of The Million Word Festival // Part 42 of Unkissed

The Cure for Snoring by Goddess_of_the_Night (G, 1,278 w. || Bed Sharing, Cuddling, Fluff, Domestic, Platonic / Sleepy Cuddles) – Sherlock and John spend the night in Scotland after finishing a case. The sole Inn in town only has one room left…one bed. This would be fine - if not a bit awkward - if Sherlock hadn’t developed a habit of snoring loudly. John suffers through many hours of sleeplessness before he discovers that skin-to-skin contact stops the noise. Part 1 of Dreamscapes

I Hear Newcastle is Dreadful This Time of Year by oxfordlunch (G, 1,515 w. || Sofa Cuddling, Hugs, Mentions of Alcoholism, Pining / Anxious Sherlock) – When the fourteenth day comes, he gets a cab to Heathrow.

Caught by Salambo06 (E, 1,859 w. || Frottage, First Time / Kiss, Bed Sharing, Wet Dreams, POV John, Masturbation) – A hotel room. They’re here for a case, hadn’t planned to spend the night and ended up sharing a room. No, sharing a bed. Suddenly John is very much aware of his own hand closed around his hard cock and the ragged breathing next to him. Closing his eyes for the briefest second, John dares to turn his head just enough to confirm what he already knows. Sherlock, on his side, watching him.

Unwrapped by 221b_hound (E, 3,022 w. || Christmas, Fluff, Oral Sex, Feet and Toes, Tow Fetish, Pet Names, Licking) – It’s Christmas morning. John doesn’t really want the Christmas Sex that Sherlock proposes and explains the reasons why. Sherlock discovers a new element of how his desire functions, and later John gets to indulge his foot fetish. Part 8 of Unkissed

The Sweetest Taste In The World by crossroads (G, 3,121 w. || First Kiss, Fluff, Pining, Friends to Lovers) – The sweetest taste in the world is rarely ever the easiest to come by.

Entanglement by orphan_account (G, 3,218 w. || Pining, Confessions) - On Christmas Eve, snow covers London, John visits Harry, and Sherlock and Mrs. Hudson untangle some knots.

The Second Law of Thermodynamics by entanglednow (T, 3,614 || Asexual Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Sharing Body Heat) – In which there’s no heating and there’s a dead owl in Sherlock’s bed. Part 1 of Thermodynamics

The Honeymoon Suite by Salambo06 (E, 5,827 w. || Fake Relationship, Fake Marriage, Frottage, First Kiss, Cuddling/Snuggling/Sleepy Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Holidays / Hotels, Case Fic) – “You’ll see,” the receptionist smiles, handing John the key to their room, “This honeymoon suite is quite spectacular. Our hotel has won many awards, most of them for these rooms.” John nods, licking his lips and playing with the key in his hand. We’ll probably be leaving first thing in the morning, he wants to tell her. As soon as Sherlock proves who robbed the previous couple who booked a room here, we’re out of here and stopping this happily married charade. “Thank you,” he says instead.

Disguises are always a self-portrait by yellowteapots (NR, 6,223 w. || Case Fic, First Kiss, POV John, Fake Rel.) – Sherlock and John head out of town on a case of murder / suicide at a Pride Fest.

TOOTH-ROTTING FLUFF Pt. 3

You Know, The Old Saying by songlin (T, 2,248 w. || Wedding, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Engagement) – “Marry me. I need to have you forever.” Unrepentant husbands!Johnlock fluff.

Entanglement by orphan_account (G, 3,218 w. || Pining, Confessions) - On Christmas Eve, snow covers London, John visits Harry, and Sherlock and Mrs. Hudson untangle some knots.

Happy anniversary by Salambo06 (E, 3,772 w. || Est. Rel., Vulnerable Sherlock, Wedding Anniversary, Anal, Texting, Lingerie) – John inhaled deeply, feeling his cock pulse under the silk gown, and he let his eyes travel on the lean body in front of him. Sherlock was kneeling on the bed, their bed, and the picture had been taken so John could perfectly see his bare chest and pelvis. But what mattered most, what made John harden rather quickly, was the pair of panties Sherlock was wearing in the picture. Black, string over each hip and laces that outlined Sherlock’s erect cock barely hidden under the soft underwear.

Fine Print by mistyzeo (E, 4,224 w. || ACD Holmes || Est. Rel, Retirementlock, Glasses, Oral, Hand Jobs, Bees) – Holmes needs glasses, but he’s too much of a stubborn arse to go get his eyes checked. Watson is used to bullying him for his own good. The glasses have unexpected but not unwelcome consequences for everyone.

Christmas at Holmes Cottage by johnlockedstarkid (G, 4,295 w. || Christmas, Fake Relationship, Love Confessions, Holmes Family, Pining, Kisses, Fluff, Allusions to Mystrade) – Sherlock doesn’t want to have to deal with his mother’s wishes for him to find a partner when he goes to visit them for Christmas, so asks John to pose as his boyfriend. Little does he know he’s not the only one who wishes that the relationship could be real.

Adjacent by weeesi (E, 5,711 w. || Bed Sharing, Fluff and Smut, Pining Idiots, On a Trip, Frottage) – Sherlock and John spend the night at a hotel in adjoining rooms, and keep finding excuses to visit each other’s rooms, until WHOOPS they’re sharing a bed.

Beg for Mercy (Twice) by Solitary_Endeavor (E, 7,060 w. || Est. Rel., Bottomlock, Bearded John, Edging, Rough Sex, Idiots in Love, Canon Compliant) – Sherlock hasn’t left the flat in four days, the itch of impatience beneath his skin too great to allow him to suffer interaction with any human being who isn’t John. This is probably a mercy that goes both ways, as he’s driving even himself mad. Sherlock supposes there is a lesson to be learned here about having himself to blame, but of course he blames Mycroft.

What Meets the Eye by worldaccordingtofangirls (M, 8,251 w. || Amnesia, Fluff) – Amnesia is just another case to solve. Piece together unfamiliar faces, reconstruct the old identity, the lost reality. A challenge that Sherlock could even enjoy. He can read people like books. The man with the silver hair is his boss. The tottering old woman, his landlady. The girl with the worried look in her eyes…infatuated. And as for John Watson? His husband. Obviously.

FLUFFY ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP

{{There might be some overlap on this from my last Est. Rel. fic recs… these are specifically Fluffy, absolutely.}}

Whispers in the Dark by coloured_ink (G, 833 w. || Bed Sharing, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety, Caring John, Spooning, Little Spoon Sherlock) – Sherlock has anxiety attacks. Good thing John always knows what to do.

A Discourse on the Inadequacy of a Duvet by guns_and_poses (T, 1,005 w. || Est. Rel., Fluff, Humour, Bed Sharing, Romance) – Sherlock keeps stealing the covers when they share a bed because he wants John to move closer to him when they are sleeping but of course doesn’t want to ask. John gets annoyed at first until he realises what Sherlock wants and is more than happy to oblige.

Under The Covers by berlynn_wohl (E, 1,221 w. || Est. Rel., Shy Sherlock, Anal, Fluff) – John would have liked to have the lights on and seen everything, but Sherlock was shy, so they did it this way, always.

John Was Nice Like That by hannah_baker (T, 1,307 w. || Est. Rel., Fluff, Body Worship, John’s Bum) – Sherlock Holmes may not ever sleep, but that hasn’t prevented him from having a kip on the couch with John.

So, this is normal for us now? by TooManyChoices (M, 1,445w. || Bed Sharing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Est. Rel., Cuddles) – John and Sherlock have been sharing a flat, and a life for some time. This is a story of how the glacially slow movement of their relationship makes another agonising crawl forward another inch.

To Sleep, Perchance to…Cuddle by nerdyandiknowit (NR, 1,563 w. || Sleepy Cuddles, Fluff, Stubborn Sherlock, Bedsharing, Cuddles & Snuggles) – Almost immediately after they got together Sherlock formed this dependency on John-he could not (or would not as John believes) sleep without John being there, in bed, next to him.

A Metaphorical Gesture by cyparissus (T, 1,578 w. || Marriage Proposal, Fluff) – “Sherlock, are you–” the words die in John’s throat and he has to swallow and start again, “Are you asking me to marry you?”

and yes I said yes I will Yes by Mithen (T, 1,662 w. || Fluff, Humour, Est. Rel. Marriage Proposal) – Sherlock has deduced that John is going to propose to him, and he’s ready to accept. If only John would actually get around to it…

You Know, The Old Saying by songlin (T, 2,248 w. || Wedding, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Engagement) – “Marry me. I need to have you forever.” Unrepentant husbands!Johnlock fluff.

In Which John is Attractive and Sherlock is Angry by kim47 (T, 2,382 w. || Fluff, Est. Rel., Jealous Sherlock) – Sherlock’s reaction to finding out that everyone wants HIS John, and how he told them to piss off and get their own Watson.

Unwanted by 221b_hound (T, 2,436 w. || Est. Rel., Wedding Rings, Asshole Exes) – In the jewellers to collect their wedding rings ahead of the Big Day, an old friend of John’s spots him. Well. I say ‘friend’.Sherlock isn’t jealous. He’s possibly a little bit grateful. That doesn’t mean Lydia Templeton isn’t an idiot. Part 19 of Unkissed

Let the Sun Fade Out by nothingislittle (E, 2,711 w. || Fluff & Smut, Praise Kink, PWP, Obsessed Sherlock, Bottomlock) – “He could warm the sun itself, Sherlock thinks, could heat their flat with just his presence, could brighten the room with one dazzling smile or just the sparkling in his eyes. John is everything, he’s beautiful and he shines, he’s everything.” {{Sherlock loves John so much that it RIPS OUT YOUR HEART}}

Extraordinary by queenoftrivia (G, 2,860 w. || Fluff, Marriage Proposal, Morse Code, Est. Rel, Violins) – Sherlock’s deduced that John’s going to Italy to buy him a violin. Even the greatest detective alive makes a few mistakes.

Unmissed by 221b_hound (M, 3,235 w. || Est. Rel., Pet Names, Insecure Sherlock, Worried Sherlock) – John enjoys a good brawl during a case, and Sherlock begins to worry - when they retire, will John get bored? Will John get bored and leave. But even if John isn’t a genius about cases, he knows a thing or two about Sherlock’s panic attacks about them as a couple. With only four days till the wedding, he’s not about to let Sherlock continue with this misplaced notion that John will be bored in retirement. Part 20 of Unkissed

Bagged & Tagged by Regency (T, 3,339 w. || Drunken Confessions, Fluff and Crack, Marriage Proposal) – A very inebriated John devises a clever means of proposing marriage to Sherlock. Unfortunately he’s forgotten all about it by the next morning.

Engaged by lifeonmars (NR, 3,146 w. || Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Holmes Family, Song Fic) – Sherlock did not believe in marriage, but he wanted to be married. He found this something of a surprise. Part 2 of Damage

And as the seasons change, I love you more by Teatrolley (NR, 3,219 w. || Fluff and Angst, Est. Rel., Marriage / Proposal) – A year in the lives of John and Sherlock, essentially.

In Nomine by Atiki (E, 3,517 w. || Est. Rel., PWP, Anal, Domesticity, Love Confessions, Sherlock Loves John, Overwhelmed Sherlock) – “Alright?” John asks gently, planting a kiss on Sherlock’s left collar bone, smoothing a hand down his chest and belly until it rests in the soft trail of hair below his belly button. John’s smile is all soft and warm. His hand feels tender and solid and real. A soldier’s hand. A surgeon’s hand. A lover’s hand. Oh. “John”, Sherlock gasps. And that’s where it begins. Written for a prompt on the Kink Meme: The only word Sherlock says during sex is “John”.

Rumpled by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 3,601 w. || Est. Rel., Insecure Sherlock, Fluff, PWP, Proposal, Bottomlock) – Then, halfway through a documentary on river otters that neither of them was paying attention to–how could John, with a gangly, limp consulting detective practically purring in his lap?–Sherlock suddenly bolted upright, looked at John with a perplexed expression and a crinkle above his nose, and blurted, “Marry me.” Part 4 of Longitudinal Cohort

Love and Hair Dye by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 3,920 w. || Est. Rel., Body Worship, Self Conscious John, Voyeurism, Idiots in Love, Smutty Smut) – Self conscious John decides to cover the greys on his head, and the colour isn’t what he thought it would be. Now he’s more self-conscious than ever.

Let me be the wallpaper that papers up your room by Teatrolley (NR, 3,966 w. || Est. Rel., Two Idiots in Love, Fluff, Domestics) – Four seasons in the life of Sherlock and John, really.

Practical Johnkeeping by what_alchemy (M, 4,330 w. || Beekeeping, Aging, Gladstone, Tooth Rotting Fluff) – Sherlock predicts nectar flow the same way he deduces a murder, but he harvests the honey like John coddles the dog.

Linger by queenoftrivia (E, 4,908 w. || Lingerielock, Fluff and Smut, BJ / HJ, Bottomlock, Dirty Talk) – Sherlock decides to surprise John after a somewhat stressful day at work.

a very soft epilogue (my love) by darcylindbergh (E, 5,395 w. || Retirement, Domestic Fluff, Dancing, Dogs, Grumpy Old Men) – Across the pillows, Sherlock shifts and hums, the creases of his face deepening and then smoothing before settling. John watches him wake up, his chest swelling with affection and fondness, and thinks he’ll never get tired of Sherlock in the mornings, sleepy and soft. It’s been some forty-odd years, and John hasn’t gotten tired of it yet. Part 5 of things fairy tales are made of

All the Flavours, Cherry and More by cwb (E, 6,274 w. || Est. Rel., Lip Gloss, Lingerie, Birthday Presents, Insecure Sherlock) – Sherlock feels a blush rising to touch his cheeks, more sensual than uncomfortable now that he knows John isn’t disgusted by him. No, John is responding exactly the way he had hoped.

Inside by magikspell (E, 6,757 w. || Loss of Virginity, Anal / Rimming, Fluff, Humour, Awkwardness, Shy Sherlock, Bottomlock) – “Being inside someone. Feeling someone inside you.”

For you, there’s only me by shock_blanket (E, 19,557 w. || Jealous Idiots, Virgin Sherlock, UST/RST, Pining, Miscommunication, First Kiss / Time, Insecure Sherlock, Masturbation) – Sherlock realizes he has fallen in love with John, but believes he is unlovable. Cue lots of pining and jealousy on Sherlock’s part, followed by our favorite cuddly marksman making it all better. Because for Sherlock, there’s only John.

Abatement by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 6,816 w. || Est. Rel., Retirementlock, Fluff, Sherlock’s Self Esteem, Grumpy Sherlock) – “What’s wrong with you? You love the cottage,” John glances over to the passenger seat, then quickly turns his eyes back to the road. Driving was still not his forte, but considering Sherlock still couldn’t properly bend and lift his new knee enough to press and release the clutch, he had to make do. Not that Sherlock hadn’t tried to argue his way into the driver’s seat. “I love the cottage for a week or two, John. Don’t be deliberately obstuse,” Sherlock grumbles, sinking further in his seat. Well, as best he can with a four-week-old knee replacement. “And that’s all we’re going for, love,” John says out loud. But what he’s thinking is, shit. He knows.

Caught In The Act by ShirleyCarlton (E, 7,009 w. across 6 stories || Est. Rel, Voyeurism, Character POV’s, Mastrubation, Switchlock) – This is a series of six scenarios written from the points of view of six different people as they accidentally walk in on Sherlock and John having sex.

With This Ring by Quesarasara (E, 9,121 w. || Est. Rel., Marriage Proposal, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, Embarrassing Hospital Visits) – Sometimes even the best of plans go wrong. And sometimes wrong turns out to be exactly right.

The Important Bit by Solshine (G, 9,984w || Platonic Relationship, Ace!Sherlock, Domestic, Fluff) – Just where exactly is the line between “to love” and “to be in love”? What difference is required between “flatmate” and “husband”? (Besides the rings, obviously.) No, the important bit is that they have each other. Thirty years, give or take, in an atypical marriage. Basically a long bit of platonic domestic fluff.

Never-Ending Cycle by orphan_account (T, 17,211 w. || Christmas, Est. Rel., Proposal, Fluff) – Or, four times Sherlock Holmes attempted to propose to John Watson, and the Christmas Party at which he finally did. Sherlock thinks he’s a miserable failure, John is confused, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade provide some unsatisfactory advice, and Mummy is, as always, the solution. All in a lovely, fluffy holiday theme.

A Symphony of Chemical Reactions by what_alchemy (T, 2,351 w. || Experiments, Est. Rel., Fluff) – Cooking’s just chemistry and time management.

Christmas by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 7,673 w. || Worried Sherlock, PWP, Drunkeness, Christmas, Est. Relationship, Tooth-Rotting Fluff) – John feels a lump rise in his throat, and it hits him, again, that this beautiful, infuriating creature is his. Completely, one-hundred percent his.

And if you say the word, I could stay with you by CaitlinFairchild (E, 12,842 w. || Domestic Fluff, Dirty Talk, Anal, Fluff and Smut) – What Sherlock thinks is, On the day I die, be it in a dirty alley at forty or in my bed at eighty, the last thing I will remember is tonight, the way you looked at at me on the snowy pavement, cheeks pink with the cold, breath puffing in frosty white clouds, your heart in your eyes and snowflakes in your hair. I will remember that single perfect moment in my life, that moment I knew I had everything I ever wanted, and whatever happens next, I will die content. What he says is simply, “Marry me.”

The One With the Proposal by kim47 (E, 22,375 w. || Fluff, Romance, Marriage Proposal) – Proposing shouldn’t be this difficult.

a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (E, 32.731 w. || Christmas, Frottage, Comfort, Est. Rel., Fluff, Insecure Sherlock) – For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves. Part 2 of things fairy tales are made of

Where Else Would I Be? by cwb (E, 34,910 w. || Retirementlock, Domestic Fluff, Falling in Love, Parentlock, Fluff and Smut, Reminiscing) – John and Sherlock’s five-year-old granddaughter spends the weekend with them in Sussex. Sherlock happily indulges her whims, and John takes care of them while quietly revisiting the past thirty years of their lives together.

Resistivity and Relative Charge by liriodendron (E, 41,750 w. || Synesthesia, Angst, Case Fic, Romance, Est. Rel., Homophobia, Religious Content, Victor Trevor, Mild Jealous John, Mild John Whump) – In which Sherlock Holmes meets an old acquaintance, John Watson doesn’t enjoy a trip to the country quite as much as he thought he would, and the past absolutely refuses to stay where it belongs. Part 3 of Conductivity

#fic rec

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howardlyontx · 7 years ago

Text

2016 Cadillac CTS-V vs. 2016 Lexus GS F – Head 2 Head Ep. 78

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the third generation Cadillac cts-v is the American gun in the German knifefight you decide what’s more attractiveit’s 640 horsepower supercharged Corvette engine or it sexy good looks onthe other side of the spectrumsince the all new Lexus GS F it’s naturally aspirated engine is unique inthis heavily turbo and supercharged segmentspeaking of unique check out the GS F sheet metalholy polarizing Batman what a time we live in when American and Japanesesports sedans are legitimately challenging their German rivals but itwasn’t always this waywaking the dead yes pleasegive me all you gotcome onyou know if this thing was American it would have a diff setting for burnout doit I just wasn’t my first timecome onthisthe pointshowoffyou suckthis is amazingI’m glad we’re both still 12yeah well I found a place where Lexus can do a burnoutWow oh that is so pretty and I had no idea Florida looked like this rightI mean I heard about the bugs and humidity and oh thats not pretty your coy issick and its grown tires very lovely shade of putrid orange any way we canlook at the Cadillac that’s gorgeousI gotta say Jonny only you could come up with a head-to-head with twocars that have a hundred and seventy-three horsepower differencebetween the two of themwell that’s just horsepower have you thought about torque that’s why I can’tdo math over one digit that’s like 630 torques to 389 or somethingbig big difference big number so explain yourself please ah well number oneboth these sports sedans start at about 85 thousand dollars so they have that incommonnumber two have you thought about the competition right the kind of midsizeluxury performance caryou’ve got your e class you’ve got your five series you got your audi a6 andcurrently none of those drive all that well truethese drive incredible no matter what engines in them and these are the bigdog engines and then of course the third reason is the to these might literallyof the two worst navigation systems on sale todayand without question the two worst in the premium segmentyeah so far it’s a perfect Head 2 Head yeah yeah let’s see which is the actual worstnavigation system and also figure out which is the best drivers carit ok yeah and you have a lizard on our my footwhat is it with Florida I what what do I want to come back hereyeah what do I do I want to get a little little soy saucecome on yeahthis is a good road car and as he unleashes 640 horsepower down a hill itsalso a good missile couple gripes of right off the batyou know that’s my job that is it first firstcan I have the first gripe please go this friggin seat belt every time it’s likeit’s like having your neurotic Jewish grandmother in the car with youahh face slow down slow down its strangling anywayok your gripe sir oh you can’t decouple the steering weight from the modes otherwordsmaybe I want to be in sport mode and maybe I don’t want you don’t have tocurl 35 pounds every time I turn the wheel in regular modeit weights are really naturally the other modes feel like like your powersare out of power steering fluid right it againit’s just too heavy yeah unnecessarily so and I don’t know why they did it feelsportier because its heavier but that you know you don’t always have to do that you canthat’s like cars that ride crappy in sport modelike you don’t need to bounce off the road to feel like you’re a sportscar right in fact in fact staying on the road is very sporty I would say and that’s oneanother thing that this car does really well is that suspension tuning so it’s gotmagnetorheological dampers it rides well even in track mode and it’s a littlestiffer but it’s not it’s not sort of knock your teeth out stiffI don’t wanna again re-state and state the obvious but man this is just agreatsedan to drive just getting the nitpicking with it like okay it doesn’tput the power down as well as it couldwell it has so much right yeah but this is a problem shared with the z06 and Ithink you just when you get to a certain power threshold you run out of whatrear-wheel-drive cars are capable ofunless you go to like a viper ACR solution and have a wing the size of adining room table bolted to the trunk which would be hot right coolno the thing is unlike the z06 right so can put its power down but whenit steps out it does so smoothly predictably predictably I like I can’twrap my brain around the fact that this is the same engine from the z06 because inthat carit sounds well we decided best sounding v8 in production todayyeah and this is just sounds like fake in the car and the raspy outside yeah andnot in that musical sexy funny kind of saxophony way that the z06 didyeah but look that’s a constant problem when you take a luxury car and turn it intohot rod is that you still have the bones of the luxury car sitting there addsweight add insulation even outsidewell I say that any higher yeah yeah I can’t all right but even as MiniMouse you got to agree that it it so it sounds better outside than insidestrangely my only complaint about this car is it’s one of these superhero carsthat does everything so well that every time you look down you’re going 95right and I know what kind of sound like an old man here but there’s a certainamount of joy that’s missing when you can’t really exercise car on the roadwithout going to jailyeah you can’t the other thing I would say that there is a lack of involvementin this cardare I say it not thrilling it’s like wow yeah we’re just beating this road deathremember the old cts was just like the most hysterical like involving aamusingand you know what I think the real but why tho that one was so good becauseit had a thing that the stick and it would like to get and if I’m paidin large sums of money I can not hate an automatic transmissionalright sum it up in one word what is this transmission do lag sucks it’ssucks they sold 800,000 or whatever trucks in the USA year with thistransmissionI don’t need to shift quickly the CTS-V however does need a shift very quicklyand it don’tand it don’t and its annoying your always getting like shift deny and when youknow if you got this gorgeousheads up display at redline 6500 and if you actually pull the shift at6,500 forget about it you’ve already boggedokay well want to hit the limiter the transmission is like I’m offline for thenext three seconds right and it goessince the CTS has come out I said to everyone it’s a great car same with the ATSsure wonderful car don’t buy itwhat don’t buy it because Q oh yeahat the end of the day we could we can review these cars dynamically but peoplehave to live with them rightI know I would punch that screen so hard so fast so many times it’s dangerous itisyou’ve said it’s dangerous I’ve said it’s dangerous you know Cadillac theretheir whole thing that was dare greatlyI’m gonna say dare a little little less than greatly dare for knobsbecause what’s great about a novice I can be looking down the road and I cando this and the volume goes up and down and I can do this and I can tune theradio station just it worksyou don’t need to reinvent the wheel if your going to reinvent the wheelmake it round at least please the CTS-V anit the boomerang antenna crushed velvetbooze cruise cadillac you took to your junior prom but this isyes folks we track down an honest-to-goodness 1985 cadillacfleetwood brougham stretch limousine and a new chauffeurskeeves open the sucker up you got to check out this interior crushed velvet as faras the eye can seeoh yeah look at this we got an armrest we got a barwe got the wood we don’t have bacteria and viruses I wouldn’t recommend abacklight for anywhere here in heredon’t touch anything except for the phone look at thisexcuse to you can go ahead and punch it hold on seat belt you don’t need a seat beltits a limousine you did just pull up to a figure eight course you realize rightthat and we’re at a 40-degree angle that’s not good is that sky or how did your seat belt worknope no no they had different seat belt technology back then you know we were talking about luxury inthat other car this is luxuriousthis is very luxurious is that ball joint pops that just happens all weno that was like a case of whiskey in the truck coolJesus Christ where did we find this guy oh Jesus hey skeeves can you pickup the phonesit sit sit back in your seat get back in your seat don’t make me come back thereI mean not bad for a old birdoh Godyeah well you know listen your car’s that last start drinking nowall right I think we’re good nice nice audition don’t call us we’llcall youthat’s good driving that’s goodthank you sir and thanks skeeves twoLexus they’ve gone a different directionback to right into the wall all right we’ll start with this one and it’s alittle dirty because it’s got nine hundred and thirty six thousand miles onit currentlywhen this came out yeah I looked like the acura legend but like it’s agood-looking car look good then it looks good nowby the way 20 years from now it’s gonna look good 20 years nowI mean 20 years from now that car is not going to look good because it doesn’tlook good nowthat’s the problem I mean look this is nothing fancy right now in terms ofdesignit’s really good it’s got good proportions simple straight lines itstands the test of timethis has enough styling on it first six cars carsI don’t see anything car like this looks like when they used to give spiders LSDand then watch them weave those crazy webs and Lexus was like BAMthere’s the front I mean I just don’t understand what I’m looking atyeah I mean if Lexus is trying to say we used to make this type of vehicle and wedon’t make this type of vehicle anymorewe don’t do to date luxury we do sedate we do manic torque vectoring or drive sideways thatbut my big question is how does this front-end pass a five mile an hourbumper crash test how easy the government standards are very simplethey have to bash the car into a fixed barrier at five miles an hour and itcan’t look any uglier than it did beforeyeah styling and design of a personal thingI don’t think it’s very pretty yeah but but I mean the way it goes around thefigure eightI haven’t figure eight it yet come on dude in inI mean yeahisn’t this good around the figure eight really good right look justgreattry that old LS yeah right again we’re very hard about the way thiscar looks because it’s it’s it’s a tsunami of vomitbut like it drives brilliantly around the figure eightand the thing about the figure eight is it is it is one data point youwhat I love about this test is it’s not just steady state cornering is howwas the car come out of the corner like thathow old is the transition into the braking zone into cornering into steadystate and then back over and over again in both directionsit is the single best dynamic measureof a cars abilitiesthis thing nails it that was goodlook doing here in a closed environment is one thing but i’m really curious howthis thing actually drives on the roadwhy I don’tendless trip because they kick us out of here at the end of the day and roads arefreeyou can use whatever you want let’s go that waywhich way am I going can you set the navno why not you do itI’m not touching that thing I’m not touch either so there’s a stupidjoystick thing rightyou go to the main menu to try to pick you know between nine options and thetotal travel of this joystick is less than one inchthis was not developed for the GS F this was developed for like the ES which isbought by grandmother’s who have the pausyyou know like it its it’s no I look they’ve already gotten rid of it two orone of those horrible situations they put a track pad which is just as badbecause you’re like a squigglyit’s like a normal mouse I just figured out I figured out where thetexture in that grill came from a strut straight linebut okthe car interesting enough the cars bit kinky and I say that because it has absm light on it I’ve always thought it was BDSM and apparently Lexus has alack of discipline right there and it’s a light that never I don’t know how tomake it go awaythere’s no button that controls it don’t worry about there is however a buttoncalled ASC and that is like auto sound positioning conditioning and so talkabout euphemism rightbasically they should just call it making engine noises but interestingthe F againfirst of all the fact that you can turn it on and off at willis great right interestingly enough this is the loudest actual intake in theworld listen the thing thendid you try this car and think I want more let me hit the button I want more noisebecause this is a naturally aspirated five liter v8 you don’t real helpyeah wonderful sound it is really good big surprises this whole car is thatit’s so much better than the RC F right off the bat I mean I always not evencomfortable is bounces all over that poor thing that was a Frankensteinof a car right the front was off this car is off the GS the middle is fromthe old out of production convertible and the rear is out of production caryeah just go see ya know that was stupid this thing rides great knowing you couldactually rides better than the Cadillac shockingly it does land look what what ifLexus has a core competency better ride well that’s trueyeah but the steering it’s in terms of accuracyit’s almost as good as the Cadillac but it’s much lighter effort and it’s almostif thats Aston Martin steering this is Ferrari steering you know how it’s gotthat like ball bearing like light effort but so goodum this is one of those cars are they took we were talking about with with thethe Tesla like you can’t explain to people actually how quick a Tesla is ina straight line they just don’t believe youthey don’t believe you how well this lexus drives it is supple and all theright ways and the noisemy big issue is gearing again okaythis is an eight-speed automatic lexus always gears there eight speeds as ifthey were five so they had like 75 miles an hour and second and then this does105 miles an hour in third gearso here i am at 50 50 miles an hour I can’t really go into second is not muchleft and I’m going to nail itwaiting waiting right pulling pullingpullingpullingpulling pulling a limiter at 105 they put a torque vectoring diff in this that’s notshared with anything else they could have chosen a ratio that banks thru thegears why they do this fuel economyI’m sorry if you want a 5-liter v8 in your midsize sedan and you want to bitchabout fuel economy yourselfI mean really one gear it does go down the road pretty good good goodthat was pretty good everyone gets in this car is like got no torquethis motor got no torque this motor makes a huge amount of torqueit’s all neutered by long long long gears but the way this car puts powerdown and how stable it isyeah you think how much more power that CTS-V had and that that CTS-Van order of magnitude faster than this car on a straight road and it outbreaksthis car and it out grips this car both by a considerable margin sureand yet this was only a tenth behind on the figure eightthat is a seriously cohesive road car it isthe thing is as we always do want to Head 2 Head we know how these carsgoing down the road we know what they do on a test trackhow do you think they’re gonna do on a racetrack um I’m just gonna pretend I’mon a racetrack right herecan I do that I this is a good road carit’s so good and that tall skinny good we hang out with Randall he’s gonnalike driving this one betterthere he is do you think he just sits here all week and waits for us it’sreally weirdI did the bigger question is is does he own real clothes just wear this funny pajamanow I think he sleeps with that helmet to such a strange hey Randy how are yagood to see ya hello friends yeah you remember last year on an Ignitionepisode we had the CTS-V oh yeah I love the car so we think we have found a evenbetter driving sedanwhat a color right course we’re here for your professional race track opiniongreat that’s where I live he does live hereit’s my happy place I’m gonna wrap let’s gowell sirhello that’s a very different experience from the Lexusyeah it’s is way more powerful I mean like the difference between the size ofthe United States and the size Japanoh but the Cadillac is more like one piece all the way around the racetrackits organic if I ask for twenty percent steering I get twenty percent turningthe LexusI can feel and adjusting itself and I enjoy itthat back end I think it may be that diff turn in and then it just does alittle torque vector it does it just like that and I like itit’s great on the road and take skiing on mobile you know it’s like hoppingyeah its greatI think I think that’s why I actually I like that car better on the road thanthis one wow I like this one way better on track because of that directness andthe powerwell here’s the thing we knew it would be quicker but the Cadillac is almostthree seconds a lap quicker than the lexus which is I’m not surprisednot surprisedwe bounced guts I can hear the 14 year old trolls from here youyou two are fatyou’ll be fat to one day if you live long enough anywaymmm yeah we got to come to the conclusion about this Head 2 Head andbefore we get started I want to say it’s much closer than I think everybodyexpected you have certainly a lot closer than I thought it was going to bebecause both of us felt that on a winding back roadsthe orange Lexus over there was the better car to drive yeah that car wasreally fun when you were caning it more so than that and then on thehighway even though that road better that car feels special because it’salways in like psycho killer attack modethe problem with Lexus is if you’re not in sport or sport plus its kind ofasleep and you forget when you’re driving it that you’re in thisincredibly special performance carwhereas with one stab of your right foot you can pass every Prius in southernCalifornia driving that thingyeah and that’s a lot of Prius it’s a lot of fun a lot of fun yeah and then webring it to the track and make the Cadillac wipes the track with themLexus two and a half seconds a lot faster and we knew that going inbut I would I was surprised me was that Randy said he liked everything about theCadillac more than the Lexus right let’s not forget can you in good faith saythat a car which looks like that wins anythingum yeah it could win an ugly car contestit could also win a contest of 467 horsepower rear-wheel drive v8 poweredcars that refused to do burnouts and in fact it has the only infotainment systemin the world ever to make Cadillac Q look intuitive because if that much worseok so despite the fact that we both like the GS F quite a bit along winner of thisHead 2 Head is a black Cadillac CTS-V yep yepdance with melook we know you don’t have time to wait for the next episode of Head 2 Headthat’s why you need to head to Motor Trend On Demand . com that’s where thelatest episode always lives in the world of the full-size luxury sedan there’s anundisputed champion mercedes-benz s-classyeah but now there’s a new challenger for 2016 BMW has made the all-new 750iand I think it might just be able to give the s-class a run for its moneymaybe but do you think it’s actually better than the MercedesI’ve no idea yeah looks like we have a Head 2 Head that my coffeewatch the latest episode of Head 2 Head right now on Motor Trend On Demandhi welcome to a behind the scenes exclusive on the set up yetwe’ve been using these cars all day they’re filthy dustydirty and we can’t really shoot them that way so right now we got our man Ryanprepping both these vehicles for what we call in the industry a beauty package soon our sets a beauty package consists of exterior and interior shots of thevehiclesso let’s take a look at what the shots look likewhy don’t I have to race Randy Pobst this guy is in the freaking sec hall of famewhy can’t it be racing one of those like 14 year old kids on youtube who tells memean I can’t driveI’m not 14 Jonny what’s the matteryou alright I feel like I saw a ghostslow down slow down yeah come on you’re hallucinating just come on triple digitbaby

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