#today is going to fucking suck
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TMI bitching but also not because I firmly believe we need to get over not talking about menstruation, but also I don't care to talk about it myself because I personally loathe it, BUT
it's apparently been 7 months since the last time I menstruated which is fabulous (thank you ultimately unpredictable but still wonderful hormone pills) BUT 7 months is still way too fucking soon. Now I'm looking at my schedule like "yeah, alrighttttt, I supposeeeee I can fit you in. But you better not fuck me over too much on Monday; I've got a lot of standing up that day".
#guess who just had a huge cup of strong real coffee before they realised?#today is going to fucking suck#and I just bought so much perishable food that I'm not going to want to eat all week lol fuck ah well#they're hormone pills not contraception. Not everything in the fucking world is about whether or not I fuck and have a baby jfc#they are anti-endometriosis hell pills#they're fuck me up in other ways because they're a massive hit of estrogen that gives me more acne at 29 than I ever had as teen pills#they're prescribed by a male doctor who SOMEHOW doesn't understand that there's a difference between them pills#they're free in Wales on the NHS pills peace and love on earth (wales) thank you#menstruation#text tag#rant
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day 1765
#amphibian#frog#self#frogsona#thanks everyone for the congrats and well wishes!!!#genuinely meant a lot :)#healing is going super well!! i was expecting it to be a lot worse tbh but i'm mostly just tired#the post op binder SUCKS though i understand why it's useful but i can't wait to be out of it#today (day of posting) i FINALLY got to see the results for the first time though!! after getting the big bandaids and stitches removed#they didn't take any pictures of the results before taping me up so i've had to be sooo patient#actually seeing it felt unreal im so happy?? it already looks amazing and it's healing so well#i keep looking back at the pictures i took holy fuck that's me!!! it feels so right i have never felt this good about my body wow
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Why.. why does this always happen to me 😭
#I’m going to disappear for awhile#idk if I’m coming back#this one fucking hurts#I always give more than I get back from people#you don’t want to hurt.. but are hurting me rn? that makes so much sense#trans#transgender#trans pride#transisbeautiful#mtf#transgirl#girlslikeus#mtf hrt#maletofemale#transformation#trans dating#trans dating sucks#trans woman#transwomen#trans women#trans women are beautiful#transexual#this is what trans looks like#i don’t want to live anymore#idk if I’ll make it past today#suicidal#I’m never good enough#why do i do this to myself#i wanna die#SoundCloud
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i walked past this store in a mall today called fossil that had like. watches n jewlery n purses or something and i thought of. fossil objectified so i drew that.
idk how this kinda looks decent tbh this is only like my 3rd time drawing them. like, its not great, but you can tell it's her, so, i call that pretty good :P
#silverware's art#objectified comic#fossil objectified#idk. i was just compelled to do this.#also like ive been really unmotivaded ig?? first time drawing on krita for days.#last time i drew somethin was 2 days ago on good ol ms paint. oof.#i hate only posting one thing but. i feel like accumulating things in genres to post en-mass#ig ill just tell myself i'm gonna save up posts so i wont fucking die when i go back to school on thursday#ANYWAY! i went to hot topic today. first time in my fucking life going there. very nice employees. my friend did not misinform me#i also got some like. kiwi-watermelon cotten candy. pretty good?? ig?? idk. kinda sweet. overly so. but nice at the same time.#uhhh. i did fuck up one of her hands a bit but.. uh. sucks. i dont wanna go back to fix it.
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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thinking about compiling screenshots of golden/silver age batman exclusively calling dick his ward to combat the allegations that it was “initially a father-child relationship”
#dc#batman#brudick#i don’t even ship it#i think i'm still mad at the poll when people were trying to refute the brudick points#by saying shippers are also biased and ignoring the history and that it really was a familial relationship early on#me the only asshole on this website enough of dumbass to try to read early batman “no it fucking wasn't”#if you hate the ship fine but don't back up your argument with complete lies#the pro-brudick camp has receipts which gives them way more validity than the haters#i'm sure somewhere out there there's dick grayson pre-crisis saying bruce is like a father to him#there's so many comics and i've barely scratched the surface#but i did read both the first golden age compilation book of batman and silver age world's finest compilation#and neither of them say anything like that#and no “his ward dick grayson” is how he's called constantly it's one of the stock phrases in the ever present narration#early comics fundamentally didn't understand they were a visual medium and are full of very tedious and unnecessary text panels#and to be fair each issue needed to function as an intro to someone who had never heard of batman and robin before so#“and his ward dick grayson”#every damn time#their relationship was adult man and his plucky kid sidekick he inexplicably hangs out with#which doesn't make sense and doesn't parallel to real life real social interaction#but neither does a man going in a batsuit to fight crime#and the out-of-universe explanation is because this comic was aimed at kids who were supposed to project onto dick grayson#and the kids want to be batman's kid-partner not his kid-son#it's not that complicated this trope still exists today#kid who should not be here but is because it's a kids' show/book/movie/etc#i stg i'm gonna become a brudick shipper out of spite at this point#and WHILE I'M COMPLAINING i am also going to be mad at the people who get all up-in-arms#about all the evil heroes doing child endangerment on their poor abused sidekicks#should there be kid heroes? no but cape comics would suck without them so stop complaining and enjoy yourselves#RL vigilantism is also always bad stop bringing real world standards into this they don't apply
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I know most ppl rlly like gremlin-Moon who’s always picking on and messing with Y/N (BuT LiKE iN aN EnDEaRiNG WaY) but I grew up with three older brothers. Anyway I personally would love to hit gremlin-Moon with a bat
#doodles#sketches#fnaf moon x y/n#fnaf moon x reader#gremlin moon#I don mind the occasional joke but if all of ur humor is based on belittling or mocking me I can and will go Cain on ur ass#‘OOoOhH BuT He’SJuST MeSsINg ArOuND’ yeah and I can put him in the ground. bitch#‘awww but it’s a sign of his affection!!!!’ also gives very BoYs WiLL bE bOYs vibes and I want to fucking hit someone#Babbit vs stupid mf moon challenge. I win by default bc of pure feral rage and years worth of stifled violence#I’m in a mood today sorry#Babbit lore#aka small things abt my life#I’m the youngest of four and hav three older brothers!#yes it sucked. yes we did get along 80% of the time#anyway if u ever wonder why I’m so paranoid abt ppl mocking me to my face or behind my back abt my interests. now u know#hits face on floor repeatedly#silly fluff#silly bullshit#bones of a rabbit fnaf#bones of a rabbit
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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today we are saying goodbye to the most incomparable angel to ever live. i brought her home when i was 24 years old and she weighed barely 1lb. she has been the most loyal, stubborn, sweet, and loving companion that anyone could ever ask for. i am devastated but i will never forget her.
#she was fine two days ago#you know ... at least as far as i could tell#we took her to the vet yesterday because she'd been losing wait#turns out she was hiding a lot#we tried to buy her a little more time with a small procedure because i was in fucking shock#and today it was just obvious that we needed to let her go#cancer sucks so fucking much man#tw pet death#guinevere
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paige either has cancer or is in advanced stages of heart failure. tomorrow they're gonna drain the fluid out of her abdomen, and her blood work will be back tomorrow so we can get a better idea if its one or the other. of course i knew this day would come, but it still hurts to be dealing with this.
#ive been sick and missed work mon and today and now i wish i sucked it up and went to work so i could take tomorrow off#but im gonna choose to look at it like i was taking care of me AND paige#anyway im dropping her off and then going right to work lets see if i can make it or not lol#also sucks that i am going to have to pay back my mom so much money now#i just wish i had the fucking money man#not that that would help paige#but whatever#haile talks#paige updates
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I cannot tell you how much I hate fireworks now. I hate it. There is nowhere in America I can go on this date, and honestly the several days surrounding it, where I am not audibly reminded, over and over, of the worst day of my life, on the anniversary of the worst day of my life.
#cw gun violence#today fucking sucked bc it's all we can think about#and there's nowhere we can go!!#highland park doesn't do fireworks anymore but our many country clubs and all the surrounding towns do
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[Image ID: A digital inked drawing of Digimon character TigerVespamon. They are a wasp themed humanoid robot, with a round head with large bug like eyes, a pointed bug like mouth, and pointed V shaped horns protruding from their forehead. They are wearing a ragged scarf. They have large shoulder pads, a triangular chest, small waist, and pointed thorax with a stinger attached. They have four skinny wings in the back and segmented limbs, with sharp pointed feet, panels protruding from each thigh and front of the calf, and long pipes coming from their upper arms. Throughout the design there are many areas such as the neck, underarms and lower legs that expose mechanical features, such as sockets and more pipes. They are in a three quarters action pose, holding two large swords, their right leg bent in on itself behind whilst the left leg is fully displayed. One sword is held above their head, and the other is held just above the left leg. Both are pointed towards the viewer. /End Image ID]
Buzz buzz
#digimon#digimon fanart#digital monsters#digisafe#tigervespamon#tiger vespamon#dinu yells into the void#dinu yells in the void#dinu's sketchy art#i know the swords aren’t accurate to the canon tiger swords but i was having sooo much trouble w them + general arms#so i changed them to fit better the reference i was using SUE ME!!!#anyways. tried smth a lil diff with lineart today too#idc what anyone says ever colouring sucks fucking shit INKING FOREVER BABY!!!!!!#i love you inking mwah mwah mwah#i meant to do this so much forever ago like after the amphimon drawing but then uhm. the horrors of life got in the way.#but I finally had time and motivation to just. fucking go at it today. happy pride this bug mech is a lesbian. good bye now
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fuckfuck fuck i need to make more physical crafts i need to create tangible things that i can hold with my two hands and put it somewhere i can See It and think Wow. I Made That.
#finished my little rudimentary earring holder & one of two arm warmers#MORE!!!! MORE!!!!!! I NEED MORE#maybe... maybe ill go get myself a new little plant and a pot to decorate. a little guy for my windowsill#ohhh i could uh! i could make like a little scrapbook thing and put in there all of my favorite things that ive drawn....#a little egotistical Perhaps but!! on days where i feel like shit and like my art sucks i could flip through that!#and say 'huh. not too bad actually'#plus it just sounds like a fun craft. i could get stickers and stuff. washi tape. glue flat objects on. add teeny doodles#i just. i need to create more i think thats whats wrong with me lately#i feel such Peace and Joy when i make physical things#i wonder if id like book binding...#no no thats for future me who has a job and an Income to get interested in#that would be fun tho! ive always wanted to try it.#and if i do i'd Really want to do that thing where people take a fanfic and make it into a physical book#that would be so fun...#i could have my favorites on a shelf! with permission of course!#absolutely unprompted#yk when i start to feel that Despair i really just gotta think about what physical things i could create#what art things i still have to discover and attempt and enjoy#today has sucked But! i will take the car tomorrow and by fuck i will do Something#a new plant friend. yeah. i need something alive in my room#and this weekend ill go to michaels and get myself washi tape so that i can secure my posters to the walls#bc my poster tack Is Not Working!#i wonder if our printer can work on cardstock... i wonder if its been Set Up yet i havent seen her#maybe ill make some more tiny vases today. i have clay still...#OH OH i could make small amigurumi keychain things...#*spoken with clenched fists and gritted teeth* there is still so much to discover and delight in in this life#the walls in this house are bare and cold but if my stepdad allows I Can Spruce It The Fuck Up#ohhhhh crochet tapestries... i could probably do that too...#i cant wait to pick up crafts get bored two days later and drop em and i say that sincerely!
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im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐
#i was supposed to go in yesterday but um#so basically i did whatever training i was never even aware existed on a platform i was never told of#which has progress for every lil step i do so my manager literally could see i hadnt even logged on n couldve warned me any time#but never did 4 some reason. like even a days notice like heyyy have u gotta blah done n not as im abt to exit to work#BUT ANYWAYS so i tell her i got it done n shes like awesome i make new schedule (since she said we have 2 completely rid the old one#i dont get an update until 4 days later. all she did was add THREE training days (im supposed to have 6 cus it's a hard job)#on TOP of my old schedule. so i have 3 days i know are training days and then a solo day bcs that solo day was going off my old schedule#so it's like. which days do i go on then. bcs u said i cant come in at all bcs we'll have to make a completely new schedule#and then the new schedule is just. 3 added days. on top of my old one#sunday i was scheduled for training & there was No trainer scheduled with me. it was just me#sunday wasnt one of the 3 new days added. it was from the old schedule she literally told me to ignore#n then all a sudden today i get an email from someone who was supposed to be training me (name not even on the schedule tho)#n shes like hey im in the building are u lost or smthing :)?' mind u im asleep . so she probably thot she was wasting her time for a good hr#i emailed her an apology n an explanation but UGH r u fucking serious?? IF I KNEW THAT WAS A (NEW) TRAINING DAY I WOULDVE WENT#I JUST WANT TO GET USED TO THIS NEW THING & IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKED LIKE I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE YET BRO#like i was suspicious of going in sunday bcs it wouldve lined up nicely with the 3 added training days#but manager TOLD me she was adding a whole new training schedule! i double check n all she added were THREE days! thats it!#how was *i* supposed to know sunday was supposed to be 1 of those days when ive been staying at home ignoring the schedule u said 2#BCS U SAID 2. AND ALSO. THERE WAS NO TRAINER ON THE SCHEDULE.#even tho the drive is far. i wouldve driven up there today to see if i could shadow if i had known there was someone to shadow there#bcs even if i was wrong abt the day 2 come in at least i wouldnt waste my time but i didnt even know if there was someone there with a#trainer title. so i just missed a day i didnt even know i rlly had. FOR NOTHING. UGHH. I FEEL SO STUPID. I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION#im so scared of coming in now. sverybodys gonna think im dum n what if i have issues training then theyre gonna be like#we spent all this time on bro n he had all this time 2 prepare n he still sucks like damn we should just give up#i would 2 but i hate not seeing things to completion so. ugh. hate it here. idk what 2 say. EMBARRASSING#i hate miscommunications i hate feeling stupid
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Currently fighting against the Curse (the Curse is me being eepy)
#Shima speaks#IDK WHYYYY I was exhausted when I got home last night too#And I took like a 3 hour nap#Debating on whether or not I should nap again today…#Or just go to bed early#It sucks bc I wanna work on art stuff but I’m so. Fucking tired bro#AND I just showered so now I’m all clean and cozy in my pajamas…….so sleepy……..
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TW eye contact and swearing
Was watching a Terrible French series for my sister when I came across this banger scene and it just screamed THEM
Transcript under the cut !!
Clive : I'm not going to kill you for what you did to me or because you are and always will be a terrible prime minister. No, you are going to die because of Léonie Renond.
Bill Hawks : ... Who ? (Disappointed voter maybe ?)
Clive, listing the names of some of the explosion's victims : Léonie Renond. Renaud Mastri. Louise Berne.
Bill Hawks, off screen : Wait, hold on- I don't understand-
Clive, leaning in : OF COURSE you don't understand, you don't give a FLYING FUCK about any of this you son of a bitch !!!
#DRAWING FROM TODAY !!!! I'm finally drawing again guys I want to cry this is so wonky but I did it this stupid ass series inspired me!!#This series is sooooo bad and my favorite character (the Clive guy) is going away so rip#But this scene cracked me up and still does omg- it was SO uncalled for ???#'Wait- I swear I don't understand 🥺'#'Of fucking course you don't you stupid bitch -_-' HELP.#Oh if any of my French followers know which series this is no you don't. You are forgetting. You forgot#(Luckily there is practically no fandom. Literally one guy fending for himself. Bless his soul but I am NOT joining him this show sucks)#Anyway this scene takes place while Clive is trapping Hawks in the mobile fortress#In my head Clive told everyone to let him do it himself so he could taunt Bill/insult him lol#clive dove#Bill hawks#unwound future spoilers#lost future spoilers#(Just tagging the spoilers because this is removed from the game but not enough)#My art#TW : swearing#TW : eye contact
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