#told my mom about my bf (only told her that we're friends for now but that will obviously change soon!!)

[littlegoldfinchh]

hehehe!!!

[nichoswag]

Hey Rei! I've been thinking for a while if I should send a prompt request or not, but here we go. 😂 (Hope you'll like it lol)

So my idea is #15 "Please stop flirting with me, my parents are right there." with a fake dating trope. And the idol who first came to my mind was Heeseung, I feel like he would match this well! You're free to decide the atmosphere of the story, I, personally was just feeling funny haha. I hope you'll have fun with this request! <33

flirt . lee heeseung

prompt: "please stop flirting with me, my parents are right there."

pairing: fake bf!heeseung x gn reader

warnings: fake dating au, lots of flirting, kissing, teasing, like one light innuendo

song rec: into it - chase atlantic (warning: song is extremely sexual)

a/n: hii marine! admittedly i did push this to the top of my list because i feel a bit more inclined to complete reqs from my moots ♡ sorry it took so long, but i did have a lot of fun with this request!! i hope you enjoy :))

if someone were to ask you how you got in this situation, you honesly couldn't say you have a clue.

walking into your childhood friend's parents' house hand-in-hand with him, you're still questioning how you got here.

well, to put it simply, you and heeseung grew up together. you even went to college together, and now you're back home together. but, you're now actually together.

at least, that's what you've told both of your parents, after constant nagging and pleading from both ends for you both to date someone. so, your solution was to pretend you're both dating each other.

now, you're shaking due to the nerve of the roles you're both about to play.

heeseung squeezes your shaking hand that's placed in his, sending you a reassuring smile. "hey, it's fine. we're only doing this to get them off our backs."

your heart flutters at his smile and the kind action.

mrs lee opens the door for the both of you. "____! it's so nice to see you," she exclaims, pulling you into a hug.

"moooom," heeseung whines. "what about me?"

she chuckles. "oh, hush. i haven't seen ____ in years."

as she welcomes the two of you into her house, you realize how natural this feels after all. besides, you and mrs lee have always been close, as your moms are best friends, so she's like a second mom to you anyway.

heeseung leads you through the wide hall into the large dining room. sending you a wink, he pulls back your chair for you. you send him a weird look as you sit down, but he ignores it and pushes your chair in, taking a seat next to you.

diagonal from where you and heeseung sit, your fathers are arguing about who's lawnmower does the better job. you chuckle at their pettiness as your mother chastises your dad for picking a fight over such a stupid thing. things haven't changed at all.

you're immersed in a conversation with heeseung until someone takes a seat across from you. it's heedo, your fake boyfriend's older brother.

and your childhood crush.

there's a girl sitting next to him, and they're holding hands, just as you and heeseung were a few minutes ago.

heeseung seems to notice your curiosity, because he leans closer to speak into your ear. "that's yeri, heedo's girlfriend." he takes your hand again and squeezes it. "are you okay? we can leave if you're uncomfortable," he offers, knowing about your long-term crush on his brother.

you shake your head. "i'm alright. just surprised."

he nods, understanding. "are you over him? i mean, you've dated since you last saw him."

"i think so, actually." you smile, nostalgia hitting you suddenly. "he was my childhood crush, so i guess it's just weird for me. it's not like i haven't seen him with a girl before."

you remember the time you saw him making out with a girl at a party him and heeseung had thrown in high school while yours and their parents were on a trip. you'd then gotten drunk on wine to the point of throwing up, and heeseung had held your hair back half the night at your house while you threw up.

then, when he brought his first girlfriend for dinner with his parents. heeseung had invited you over, not knowing he was there with his girlfriend, and you'd spent the evening crying in his room while he held you.

heeseung grins at you, seemingly remembering those nights too. you feel eternally grateful to have someone like him in your life.

he presses a kiss to your temple, seemingly trying to keep up the act. "you hungry, cutie?"

you nod shyly, blushing as he ruffles your hair. "starved."

within a few moments, heedo and heeseung get up to help their mother bring plates of food from the kitchen and set them in the middle of the large dining table.

yeri stares at you across the table. you feel self-conscious as she eyes you up and down, as if she's analyzing how big of a threat you are to her.

heeseung catches a glance at her eyeing you as he sits down, sighing as he realizes what's going on. he glares back at her, and she just smiles innocently, fixing a napkin on her lap. she glares at you as she kisses heedo on the cheek.

"what's her problem?" heeseung whispers in your ear.

you shrug. "i have no clue. I've literally just been sitting here."

he rolls his eyes. "i hope she doesn't cause a scene."

dinner does end up going without a hitch. besides a few more glares from yeri when heedo asks about your experiences in university and settling into your new job, you feel at ease. even when yours and heeseung's parents ask how you two began dating, you're able to answer the questions just as the two of you practiced earlier.

you notice heeseung looking at you with an expression you don't recognize throughout dinner. almost like admiration, except his eyes are fiery. you just think he's playing the role of your loving boyfriend.

mrs lee brings out a tray of sweets. "anyone hungry for dessert?" she practically sings.

heeseung grins and leans close. "mine's already here." he places a hand on your knee.

you choke on your own spit, and he pats your back. "please stop flirting with me, my parents are right there," you whisper-yell into his ear as everyone stares at you both.

your hear giggles, and you realize everyone must have heard what you said.

your mother smiles sweetly at the both of you. "don't worry, we're not judging you. the two of you are adorable."

you blush furiously, and heeseung ruffles your hair again.

yeri huffs from across the table, and you realize she must be jealous of the attention you two are receiving as a couple, not insecure of her relationship. she busies herself with fixing heedo's collar aggressively.

he grabs her hands as the attention turns to them. "what is your problem? you've been like this all evening. can't you just act normal?"

heeseung stifles a laugh from beside you and you nudge him with your elbow. "what's funny?"

he leans over to whisper in your ear for the third time tonight. "just that they're seemingly an actual couple and they get along worse than us."

you giggle, and yeri turns to glare furiously at you. "what the fuck is funny, you callous bitch?"

there are gasps all along the table, and heeseung nearly stands up defensively before you grab his arm to pull him down.

"don't think i haven't noticed you flaunting you perfect boyfriend all night." she laughs mockingly. "you're like a three. how did you manage to pull that guy?"

"get out." heedo glares at his probably soon-to-be-ex girlfriend, motioning towards the hall that leads to the front door.

"what?" her tough front cracks as she wears a scared face. "heedo-"

"i said. get. out." he gets up, pulling her up with him and marching toward the hallway.

you can hear the yelling and screaming still. "i've told you before, she's like a fucking SISTER to me! who are you to talk to my family like that?" "SHE WAS TAUNTING ME WITH HER PERFECT GUY-"

eventually, the screaming is muffled as it seemingly continues outside.

mrs lee gains her composure and proceeds with setting out the dessert. "kids these days are so dramatic. minus my ____, of course. you're an angel."

you smile at her. "thanks, mrs lee."

her smile falters. "honey, why don't you just call me 'mom?' i'll be your mother-in-law eventually, anyway."

you nearly choke again, and heeseung stifles a laugh. "just go with it," he mouths.

you smile again. "sure, mom. thank you for the dessert."

dinner wraps up rather quickly after the dramatic scene. heedo returns at the very end, looking very disheveled as you and heeseung make your way up the long spirals stairs to his room, where you'll both be staying the night.

heeseung lets out a long laugh after he closes the door to his childhood bedroom, nearly slumping against it. "that was a train wreck. heedo has terrible taste in girls."

you giggle. "he should've just chosen me when he had the chance."

heeseung's smile fades. "no, i rather like having you to myself."

your feel a twinge of pain in your heart at the way his smile drops. "hee, i was just kidding. i told you, i'm over him. i think i like someone else now, anyway."

the smile that began to creep onto his face at the first part of your speech drops again as he hears the last part. "oh." his shoulders slump, face looking dejected.

you catch his face in your hands as he turns away from you. "hee, do you really not realize who i'm talking about?"

his eyes widen in realization. "you mean..."

"yes, i mean i like you, lee heeseung." you grin at him.

before you realize it, he's taking you into his arms and picking you off the ground and you're spinning through the air. you both giggle as you come back onto the ground.

now flustered, you look away from him "so..."

"i like you too, ____. i thought that was pretty obvious." he ruffles your hair yet again, pulling you close by your waist.

you giggle. "it kinda was."

he looks at you for a moment, gentle gaze flickering between your eyes and lips. "can i kiss you?"

you nod, and he leans down to connect your lips gently. you wrap your arms around his neck, one hand resting on the nape of his neck, and the other tangling in his hair.

he pulls away and you lean your head against his chest, breathless.

"fuck, i think i might be in love with you." the words leave your mouth before you can even think about what you're saying.

he smirks down at you as you meet his eyes, yours wide. "yeah? what makes you think that?"

you inhale sharply. "you've been there for me through everything since we were kids. my heart hurts when you're sad, i feel angry when you're angry, and i'm happy when you are. also, i always find myself missing you when you're not around. i think that's love."

he smiles, eyes shining brightly. "if that's the case, i love you too."

minutes later, you're settled in a pair of heeseung's clothes, waiting on his bed for him to come back from the bathroom.

as he enters the room, your heart races. you've spent nights together as friends, no biggie. but now, it's the real deal.

he sprawls out on the bed beside you and turns to look at you. "cuddle?" he asks, opening his arms. you practically dive into them as they wrap around your body tightly.

you realize you feel safe here. that to you, there's never been any place safer than in his arms.

©nichoswag | do not copy my work or repost onto any other platform.

[joshushuaji]

another friend || w.jh x afab!reader

꩜ genre / tws . fluff, angst, has some swearing, mentions of a cat's de@th, reader is depressed, jun is your cutie bf to comfort u <3

꩜ wc . 1.2k (1240)

꩜ synopsis . after losing your cat that you grew up with since you were 13, your sweet boyfriend found another way to cheer you up other than using his words.

꩜ a/n . this is a late bday gift for my baby boy, jun. i hope you guys like it!! (i'm doing a hoshi one next then i'm going to be releasing my seungcheol series <3)

sfw masterlist > here .

jun silently looks at himself in the bathroom mirror before hearing a loud buzz coming from his bedroom.

he turns off the lights before walking towards the noise, soon finding out that you were calling him. he answers the phone with a warm smile on his face, “hey baby, do you need something? i miss you.” he asks, with a chuckle.

you sniffle quietly, trying to calm yourself down and as soon as he heard that he asked you if you were crying to which you confirmed you were.

“what's wrong? did something happen? do you need me to come over, my love?” his sweet, sweet smile disappearing as you let out a stuttered “yes”.

you look at your phone through tears, your vision slowly getting blurry as you try to stay in contact with jun but there was no point because all the words that he just said went into your left ear and went out the other.

the last thing you heard from him was “i'll be there in a few minutes.” before he hung up.

jun rang the doorbell to your apartment and surprisingly, your mom opens the door.

“ah, jun.. i didn't expect you to be up this late. i told y/n to not call you because i thought you were asleep.” she says with an awkward smile though her expression didn't last long.

jun shook his head nonchalantly, “i've been staying up lately because i have work, eomeo-nim.”

she nods her head. “right, come in. y/n's in her room, sweetheart.” her mom offered one last smile before jun disappeared from her sight, walking towards your bedroom.

he knocked gently on the slightly open door, “y/n, love? i'm here.” he entered your room, opening the lights as he let out a devastated sigh when he saw you lying on the ground with empty beer cans everywhere.

he sat down on the floor next to you, “what's wrong now, hmm?” jun softly ran his hands through your hair as you slowly sat up and hugged him.

he hugs you back with no hesitation and you started sobbing loudly in his arms. “my cat.. ming— ming is dead, junnie..” you stutter.

he strokes your back as he struggles to find the words to comfort you but as a few seconds pass, he manages to discover the right ones; “i'm so sorry, y/nnie.. i'm sure ming's watching you in heaven, i know it. someone else has to take care of him now that he's in the afterlife , but he'll always remember that you're the first and only person that's in his heart.”

“come on, baby. don't cry anymore, okay? we're all here for you. it's hard but i promise you'll feel better soon. ming's missing you too and i'm sure he wants you to be happy, even if he's gone.” he wipes your tears off, placing a kiss on your forehead while he massaged your hand.

you lean in and give him a peck on the lips, “i love you, junnie.” you sniffled, smiling a bit. “i love you too and so does ming, so stop crying now okay?” he smiled back.

recently, you moved in with your boyfriend since your job was much closer to his house and so was his. when jun knew about this, he was more than happy to help you out with moving into his apartment because he's always been lonely ever since minghao left to spend his vacation in china with his parents.

it's been a few months since your beloved cat's passing. you've moved on with the help of jun but of course it still saddens you when you think about ming.

you're left alone in jun's apartment, waiting for him to arrive home from work; it's been a stressful day for you— you had to take care of rude customers and the cafe was packed with so many people, you almost bursted out of that place in anger.

walking towards the living room, your body falls limp on the brown sofa.

you suddenly hear the door open and immediately stand up, knowing that it was your boyfriend. “love, i'm home.” he says as you came running into his arms, not letting him put his bag down.

“hi junnie.” you say, smiling as he placed a kiss on your forehead. “hi y/nnie.” he replied back and chuckled as you let go of the hug to let him take his shoes off.

“i have a gift for you, baby” jun said and god, he fell in love when he saw your eyes widen. he looked at them as if there were sparkles in those eyes, so plain yet so ethereal. “why don't you go wait in the living room and wait for me?” he says and you oblige quickly.

he opened the front door to grab the portable pet carrier from one of his friends that were waiting outside, thanking him one last time before he left.

“y/nnie, are you still in the living room?” he yelled, but not too loud to which you replied with a gentle ‘yes, i am’ before he proceeded to enter the living room while carrying a pet carrier.

you confusingly look into his eyes and back at the object he was carrying, not knowing what to say— or what it was either. your curiosity killed you.

junhui sits next to you before holding your hands and looking into your eyes. “baby, i know you've been wanting another cat ever since ming's passing. so.. i, um,”

your eyes widened and tears started welling up, “what the fuck?! are you serious junhui?! did you get me a kitten?!” you freaked out, hugging him immediately after he nodded to your questions. he stroked your back as you sobbed into his arms, humming.

“o-oh my gosh..” you say, looking at the kitten that he took from the pet carrier and now presenting it to you. “it's a little guy! this is the best gift ever, junnie..” you sniffled.

and as you thought that things wouldn't get worse, the kitten meowed at you. it meowed at you. and you felt your heart swell, hearing its first meows right in front of your eyes. “oh my.. he looks just like ming, doesn't he?” junhui pets the kitten as you admired it.

“you sweet baby.. mommy and daddy junhui will take care of you.” you booped its nose and sniffled as you smiled through your tears.

junhui looks at you with pure adoration, he can't help himself but admire you. even while you were crying, he felt like you were the most beautiful person he's ever seen in his entire life. just as he was getting lost in his thoughts, you made eye contact with him and gave him a peck on the lips as well as the kitten he held.

“thank you, junhui. i love you so much.” he cupped your cheeks and pulled you in for one more kiss before you pull away, not wanting to suffocate the kitten in between your bodies.

“you're welcome and i love you too, my love.” he smiled as he gave you the kitten and watched you for the rest of the day playing with your new pet.

he was so happy and he wished that life would be like this forever. you were his source of happiness and he wished that you were still his by the time both of your hairs turn white.

a/n 2: if you liked this, please like & reblog tysm! support an underrated author <33

for more like this, check out my masterlist!

[meeeepymeeperton3rd]

Dumb rant, and I'm fully aware I'm not a perfect human being, and I can be a jack ass at times

Also, this is the account my friends don't know about

(SA trigger warning ⚠️ and SH warning ⚠️)

For context, i was screwed over for the entirety of my first ever relationship(6 months). I didn't tell any of my friends the messed-up things my ex did. When i finally broke down and told my best friend(a HIGHLY sugar coated verson of hSAing me), he told me I had to break up with my bf (no shit, been trying to for 3 months at this point). When I finally did, my ex was completely an asshole about it and tried to gilt trip me. Thankfully, I used some of the techniques from therapy and was able to cope.

This is where the current problem started(last November). After breaking up with my ex and telling everyone, "He was a jurck, and I do NOT want to elaborate." Some of my friends didn't get the memo. Specifically, 2 of them.

(Friend 1) was in a club with my ex and friends with him. When she found out she (despite the fact that i was vulnerable and actively crying) tried to GUILT TRIP ME INTO TELLING HER!!! When I say that, I mean despite the fact that my ex was known to make 'krill your self jokes' towards my best friend, and i said I broke up with him for treating my poorly, she INSISTED that I MUST tell her specifically why I broke up with him so she can decide whether she wants to stop being friends with him or not. (I never said she had to stop), and it was like 2 seconds after she found out we broke up) She felt that she was entitled to knowing because he was her friend and she had a right to this knowledge( for some fucking reason) and wouldn't take "ask him" for a answer.

Then my wanna be mom friend (friend 2 is really just bossy) decided to join in. She kept insisting I tell everyone on why because how are my friends supposed to help me (I didn't want help, I wanted to cry and be by myself). (Friend 2) tried to make it sound like she just wanted to help, but she has a track record of getting people to open up and then dumping them on to other people. She constantly tells people they need to get better at setting boundaries when all she dose is break them. This friend also trys to act like they are a "therapist" when their one of the only people in the group who haven't even taken a psychology class.

The breaking point was my BEST FRIEND agreeing with them. (He really just wanted me to feel like I could confide in them if I wanted to).

So despite not wanting to air out my dirty laundry and be known as someone who let herself get SA, I give in after saying no multiple times, I tell them.

Then, because I'm such a mess, I confide in my one friend, only for him to start flirting with me and saying how he would never hurt me like my abusive ex so I think he is a safe person. Only when we start dating, he completely changes. He makes fun of my getting SA. He is rude and controlling. He tries to talk for me constantly. And I found out that he cheated on his ex, AND he was still with his ex when he started flirting with me. He also lied about no longer being friends with my ex. I end up breaking up with him after a week, and he is still convinced we're getting back together (since last December).

Once winter break started, I proceeded to lose months of progress from therapy(definitely not good). Won't go into too many details, but I started SH again after months of work, and now my clean streak is ruined.

I've been back at school for 3 days. Day one, I accidentally let it slip that I was mad at someone other than my ex. My best friend forced me to tell him. I told him about our 2 friends and he agreed that it wasn't cool. The next day, we get into a stupid argument. I'm a loud person, sure, but I wasn’t yelling at him.

He mentioned (friend 1) being upset.

I say I didn’t care because she was rude.

He takes that as me thinking (friend 1) was because for venting in the group chat and is condescending when telling me that she wasn't rude.

I think he means in general, and I get upset because gilt tripping is MEAN. So I get defensive.

He's upset that I'm mad and apologize for not understanding, but he doesn't lose the hostility.

I'm upset, want to cry, and was all worked up. I think who cares and confusion dealt with, but I'm still frustrated. I say 'whatever' and end up leaving cause he needs to catch his bus, and I need to meet up with my ride

He's upset shouting something about saying he was sorry as I'm walking

And I'm like,'doesn't even matter. I'm not doing this right now.

When I got how I cooled off. I texted him an apology and offered to sit somewhere else at lunch. I was left on 'delivered' and assumed he was busy. When I returned, I saw that he vented on his Tumbler that are friends fallow him on about how shitty his day was and how his 'best friend' yelled at him for no rest and he mentioned that I 'apologized but now I wanted to sit somewhere else for lunch' he would only know that if he read my text. He was too petty to click on my message and mark it as read and still blow up about what I said on his Tumbler. I sent another apology and explained that I didn't want to upset him more by sitting with him. IM STILL LEFT ON FUCKING DELIVERED! I say fuck it we'll fix it tomorrow we alway do he just needs space right now.

Today I didn't see him in the morning because his bus was late. I didn't see him at lunch when my friend and I looked for him before getting lunch. I shot him a total of 3 new texts today, saying that I hope he made it to school safely and that the group was going to the commissary.

I walk to my next class missing my best friend only to see him in the hall way. He ate lunch alone. So I'm asking I'd he's ok and he brushes my off. I then say that I was sorry in person this time and say that he doesn't have to forgive me...

I go to advisory, and I'm trying not to cry the whole 90 minutes. At the end of the day, I go to return his jacket to him(i always wear his jacket). he acts cold to me and tells me he doesn't want it. So I leave and try not to cry.

He's condescending and rude and says that he knows I'm sorry cause I sent him 900 messages. 8 over the span of 2 days isn't a lot(we normally spam each other with hearts), and he left me on delivered for all of them. We go to our class, and since it's an online class (we're all on laptops), he asked to work in the other room(we sit next to each other in that class). So there I was sitting there by myself on the verge of tears the entire time. When I saw him in the hall, he made it obvious that he wasn't looking at me.

I'm still left on delivered BTW

[oscolotlxzooxx]

(N)ever- Lasting Farmer

Sebastian’s POV

Chapter one

Characters in this fic:・Sebastian ・Sam・mentions Robin and Demetrius・and an OC Hunter (The Farmer)・ selma(daughter)・Saigon(brother)・

Summary

Sebastian, excitedly ready to see the love of his life on their four year anniversary, stumbles in on a very shocking sighting as he is gifted with heartbreak and anger.

・Angst・

・Negative・

・heart break・

・sensitive topics・

~

↓ divider Credit ↓

Plain black divider

Moon and star divider

~

・OC explained・

This OC is created and played by my bf, who told me about his gameplay, and so I decided to wip up a fanfic of it because you guys love angst, and I love crushing people's hearts ✍️ hehe.

I didn't know what to believe in that exact moment, to be honest? If it were for the fact that I was excitedly walking home on a sunny morning, thinking that today was going to be a fun day-flowers in hand-ready to greet my lovely husband at his very decorated and well organized farm house that we had put together with our sweat and tears; or if it were the distraught and overall disbelief on my face when I opened that same door that held many cherishable memories of us since day one of us being together, did I see my best friend and my husband holding hands on the couch, that I had bought, watching a film that only him and I would watch on special occasions like today.. Our four year anniversary.

I dropped the flowers that I had delicately picked out, which held only the most favorable ones my husband had liked, now on the floor to add on to the already invisible cracks that were seemingly being led on across the walls of the house my mom had carefully built with all her love and dedication for me and my husband to happily live in, now being shared by no other than my best friend since kindergarten.

If you couldn't already tell by my choice of words, I was in shambles seeing them close together like the world had only revolved around them, nothing more. How painful it was to see two of the people I hold dear, abusing it to get with each other.

“.. Hunter?” I called out to him in shakey volume as I walked in the darkness of what once was bright and calming, now in a negative state of untrustworthy behavior.

I could see my husband look away from the film with a shocked expression, looking at me with an almost apologetic look as he cautiously let go of my best friend's hand. The warmth of his hand could almost be replaceable with mine, yet the craveness in Hunter’s eyes, could I tell that he was more inclined to be in love with the touch by him, than he ever felt with mine.

“I-it’s..it’s not what it looks like, baby..please!” Hunter tried to start with his tone soft and sweet like all those other times where I had breakdowns about my struggles, and he would always reassure me with that damn voice that seemed to make me float on peaceful clouds.. Not his time.. Not again.

“How can you do this to me? To us? Do you know how long we've been together?” making my voice more loud and clear, breaking off the heavens that were once by our side when we first decided to get together. It was like all walls came crashing down. My will to make things work also came crashing down.

“Baby, please! Look, I can explain-” Hunter tried to continue with his excuse, but I didn't falter into his tricks. I kept yelling with reason.. With meaning..

“Don't ever call me that again, you hear? How can you fuck around like that with MY best friend? We have kids, Hunter.. KIDS! how will they react when they start to realize that we're not going to be in the same room under the same goddamn roof, huh? How will they react when they find out that you're a cheating son of a BITCH-” With anger in my voice, I suddenly stop talking to hear an even angrier voice that I hate to remember, piercing at the strings that had held my heart together.

“Don't you DARE finish that sentence, Seb. Don't blame this on Hunter. I made the move, alright?” with fear in my eyes, I see Sam, my best friend, get up to point a dagger-like-finger to my chest to emphasize his feelings.

"So YOU made the move on MY husband, and he just, what? Accepted it? Did you force him, you disgusting piece of SHIT!” I grabbed at his shirt to pull him close just to push him outwards with all the strength I had left. How distrusting these strangers I cared to get close too.

"Sam?! You?- no! I made the move, I don't know what he's saying, but I-.. We?.. I-it WON'T happen again!” Hunter then got up to get in front of me and Sam.. How familiar that looks, huh..?

“Yeah.. You're right. It won't happen again, because you know why? Cause I'm through with you, you hear? We're OVER! I'm getting us the divorce papers in a few weeks.. I'm packing my shit." As if all my anger could grow stronger, something in me didn't hold out too long with a crack to my voice by the end of my tantrum, did Hunter realize, if he even cared for me, how truly hurt I was.

“Sebastian, stop right there-” I heard Sam try to stop me until I heard Hunter stop him with his whole body as I walked to the room that I used to share with my love and only to grab my things.

“Don't stop him, Sam.. Let him do his thing." Hunter said, as quiet as I heard him say it only punched me in my feelings even more. Hearing how accepting he already was to see me leave him.. And this house? My kids? My feelings for Hunter? It's all going to waste. As I pack my things I think of how I'm truly restarting my life when I thought full heartedly that I would stay with someone who I was truly committed with.

As I kneeled down in front of a suitcase I thought I had long forgotten-the same one I used when moving into the farmhouse-I suddenly felt a soft tug from the bottom of my shirt. The same soft tugs I got when Hunter and I had agreed to have another person in our home, I turned my head to look at Selma.. Our daughter..

Weaving away any sad thoughts I had before, I take Selma into my arms and looked at her with a soft smile, and apologetic eyes.

“Selma.. Hi sweetie.." I said, pulling off whatever happiness I had left in me to show my beautiful daughter my love and care for her in my arms.

“Daddy!" Selma said with the most sweetest smile plastered on her face as she tried to grab my nose. The last time I will ever see my smiling daughter, with her silly little antsy movements with her hands as she had always tried grabbing my nose anytime I held her close. Even after getting out of her newborn phase, she always grew a type of urge to grab my face to tell herself that I am really here, and I always will be here by her side.. Oh Selma.. My beautiful sweet girl.. I'm sorry it had to be like this.

“Daddy’s going away for a little bit.. I don't know when I'll be back, sweetie.. You'll take care of your brother Saigon, right princess?” I said empathetically, never wiping off the reassuring smile I put on for my daughter as she looked at me with confused, wandering eyes.

“Yes, daddy! I’ll always take care of brother!" Selma said happily, nonetheless. As I hugged her with all my might I had left, I sat her down to motion her to her brother, and off she went.

I watched her take off to her and her brother’s room, only to be gifted the sight of Sam’s presence resting his upper body against the door frame with his arms crossed as if he was getting a kick out of my pain and sorrow of the situation.

I glance up at him with an angry look, and turned back to my suitcase to put the last few things in its collective spot until zipping up the suitcase and helping myself up off the ground for get ready to pass Sam out of the doorway only to be stopped by a hovering arm blocking my only exit.

“Don't do this Seb.”

“Don't do what? Leave my cheating husband and who was once my best friend? You both are strangers to me.. Strangers!" I said with a crack in my voice as I didn't leave my eyes off the hovering arm that was still blocking my exit.

“Now if you’ll excuse me..I'll be saying goodbye to my children, and I'll be on my way.” I was firm with my voice that time; glaring at the stranger who once had been there for me ever since we got to know each other. The one who had momentarily stopped my addictions. The one who's been there when I've been getting into fights. Even when it was something dumb or fucked up, he'd been there. But now? I don't know where he is now.

I can see the pain in his eyes, however. How telling those blue eyes looked. It pierced a permanent arrow right through my heart., and I know it did for him as well.

I moved his blocking figure with a harsh nudge with my shoulder, and I walked to where both my kids were currently at. I looked at them both with apologetic and sorrowful eyes as they gave me bright, and hopeful ones. Oh how I'm going to miss these two.. I gave them both hugs and kisses, as well as telling them how much I loved them and wished it wouldn't be this way, but I also gave them hope for the future that I will see them as often as I could, if Hunter would let me..

As I walked out of the room, ignoring the adults that played the victim’s, I walked out without batting another glance at them to show how heartbroken I've truly become with the trust that I had lost with them both.. To know that they would go that extra mile to hurting me and this relationship that I was fully committed to having.. Went straight down the drain as I am now back to square one.

Moving back in with Mom would not be easy since I have to relive the guilt and trauma I had with her husband, Demetrius. What would he think now that I'm coming back?

Would he look at me differently, whether the look is more empathetic now than hatred and disappointment? Or would he straight up disown me right as I move back in without getting Moms’ word on it?

Whether the case may be, I'm not looking forward to it.

[girltomboy]

So the decision my bf ended up making was to give up on this semester, study for the next one and get a job in his hometown, save up money to pay his uni debts AND move to the big city next year to finish the rest of his exams. Which is a faulty plan, but at least he didn't fully drop out (a decision for which he gave credit to his friend, who told him not to drop out once, not me or his parents, who have been saying this since forever, but NEVERTHELESS-)

He came over on Thursday to leave some documents at uni, and we spent the weekend together. Our only friend here didn't want to hang out (in reality he was working and we were too lazy to go visit him at work on the other side of the city, but his hostile tone didn't give us many signs of our presence being actually wanted) 🥲 so we ended up going to the house of an old dorm neighbor of my boyfriend's, met his gf and spent an evening there while he ranted about religion. I'm gonna be honest, it was a bit of a shock to me to discover that such people really exist. I mean generally I'm good at wrapping my head around all the different kinds of people who exist in the world, right. I like to believe I'm pretty good at perceiving diverse ideas, personalities, tastes, experiences, etc. outside of my bubble. Right.

Now I don't know what it was, but hearing this guy talk about god and religion in a highly conservative way I haven't even heard my PARENTS talk really shook and scared me a bit. Like he was ranting about immigrants and gays worse than any elderly religious person I've met, and we're talking about a guy who's barely entered his early 20s. Talking about "we have to keep our country clean" when our country has historically never been "clean" in the way he means it, like ever. He proudly told us the story of how he moved out of the dorm because he got paired with a Baptist roommate (a BLACK man too!). Well, according to him it wasn't really the sole reason, but a pretty decisive factor, probably. Anyway, he had a male way of dominating conversations, so fortunately I didn't have to say much (neither did his girlfriend, but he made her wash the dishes, sooo 🤡). But he did put my boyfriend in the spotlight because he mentioned having visited some monasteries with his parents last week. And he casually said it felt pleasant to just be there with his parents, so his friend got activated and started telling him he should do it more often, pray, believe, start reading prayer booklets, etc. He went on all sorts of tangents about how god works in mysterious ways, and suffering is the blessed path. Later on two other dudes showed up (apparently my bf knew them from the dorm too) and they were pretty much as pious as their buddy. So when they arrived, the Christian guy started over and once again centered my boyfriend's beliefs in his rant, and even spoke with his MOM over the phone about how she should take him to church more often, MAKE him pray, MAKE him read prayers, etc. And my boyfriend did not seem to mind, maybe because he was the center of attention during the entire discussion, maybe because they made him explore a topic to which he hadn't given much thought before (although he does describe himself as an atheist, he admitted he felt some sort of inner peace during the monastery visits, which... I kind of understand, but to jump from that simple comment to - YOU HAVE TO GO TO CHURCH NOW, THE LORD IS TRYING TO GET A HOLD OF YOU AND YOU HAVE TO RESPOND TO HIS CALL is a bit 🙄), but EYE was pissed off not just on my own cause my religious trauma was getting activated, but also on his behalf because it seemed to me like they had all cornered him and were pushing him into this whole thing without taking into account his opinion, his wishes, his beliefs AT ALL. And mind you, he was preaching all this stuff while rolling a joint, so if you ask ME, sincerity might not be his strongest suit.

After the religious conversation died down, he started telling an interminable story about some kind of journey he and his girlfriend had (ironically, his girlfriend is also an immigrant, but he probably doesn't consider her as such because of geopolitical reasons 🤡 that's just another slice of his fascism cake). His girlfriend uttered 3 sentences at most, while he bragged about how he organized so many people of so many backgrounds, races, and ethnicities that were traveling with them and became their leader basically. I understood nothing of his story (as much of a chatterbox he is, he sucks at it) but at least we got stoned and my bf suggested we go home after a while. And we had enough time to catch the night bus. On the way home I tried to rant about the religious fella, but we were both too cold and tired, and my boyfriend seemed set not necessarily on defending him, but on finding excuses for him. I guess I get it because they were dorm buddies, and my bf said he didn't use to be so god-crazy before, maybe I got triggered because of my religious past. His talking points were one of the main things that drove me away from organized religions in general. I feel like I shed all traces of respect and inclination towards organized religions, but I kept at least a little bit of spirituality that has nothing to do with them. However, this guy seemed like the polar opposite: all religion but no spirituality, no empathy whatsoever. I mean he wasn't terrible, he was a good host and seemed friendly, affectionate with his gf, generous, overall warm. Until he started talking, that is. 🤪

[talkingharrystyles]

Okay, so. I'm a normal girl from London. I kinda am in a situation where I'm dating a "celeb". And I feel so freaking guilty. 'Cause i feel like I'm the main the reason for the split between him ans his ex. But I swear we were just platonic friends 'cause I knew him since he was a teenager.Even though her mom still thought that something else was going on between me and him and made her daughter hate me. Now she thinks that everything her mom told her was true. She thinks that he cheated on her. He would never do that. Especially since he have a kid with her.

We're both doing everything we can to not let people know my bf is not single anymore. 'Cause u don't wanna get dragged into playing making assumptions like "him cheating on her". 'Cause I'll admit, they're breakup was a mess.

What do you reckon I do? What do I do to make things right between his ex? Do you honestly think I'm the one at fault here?

I'm asking here because I need honest answers from random people who doesn't know anything about me and I think this is a right place. Please feel free to answer honestly. I'm open to any sort of criticism.

I don’t think it’s your fault, it’s the mothers, she’s twisting her daughters brain

If I were you I would sit down with just the ex and tell her your side

When I was with my first boyfriend, my best friend was a guy; and we would walk to college together. And my boyfriends mum would see us and tell him that I was cheating… even though he was only my friend. After me and my boyfriend broke up, 5 months later me and best friend started dating, but we never cheated and never flirted.

[tommydoesntpayforsuits]

okay i return for a plea for advice

so like I said last time, me and Joseph are dating, so naturally we spend quite a bit of time on the phone together. We're not even always talking, sometimes it's just us doing our thing but we're just on the phone while we do that. i dunno, it's really nice just cause i feel like i get alone time without being completely alone

anyways, my mom is the only one out of my parents who knows about Joseph because my dad would lose his shit. and my dad has hit me for more minor reasons before so i'm not too excited to tell him yet

but my mom has a problem with me being with Joseph. for some reason she always tells me to get off the phone with him even though i'm still on top of everything. my grades are doing fine, i'm getting my work done, and i'm still spending the same amount of time with my family and other friends as before. and my mom knows that sex is just something i don't want because i'd rather not risk getting pregnant at 17 and i don't trust him enough to have sex with him

but for some reason she got really upset. like last night she was crying and i asked her what was wrong and she told me that she wakes up in the middle of the night terrified that I'm still talking to Joseph (which i'm not, i go to sleep at 11 so i stop talking to him around then). i asked her why she has a problem with me and Joseph and she straight up told me that there's no reason behind why she's so stressed

so now i'm in this weird predicament where my mom wants me to spend less time with my bf than i already do (we barely get to see each other at school cause we have really different schedules so the phone is kinda the only time i can spend time with him since neither of us can drive) but i don't want to spend less time with him. i like spending time with Joseph but i've always made sure that i don't drift apart from other people in spending time with him. i completely disagree with what my mother wants from me but i also don't want to see her cry like that again, it completely broke me

and now i feel bad cause i feel like i'm the reason that she's so stressed and i don't know what to do

sorry about this being so long lol i dont know where all of this came from <3

also ily <33

One, I completely understand why you don't want to tell your dad. It is not okay or normal for him to be doing that, but you're a smart girl, so I think you already know that. Situations like that come with a lot of feelings, and a lot of complications, and that is something I can understand. It's better to keep your relationship a secret until you have a soft place to land than risk telling him now. Think about your safety first and foremost. If you can tell someone, I would recommend you do, but I am aware that's not an option for everyone.

As for your mother, there is clearly something she's not telling you. People don't cry, worried about your boyfriend for no reason. Does she maybe know something about Joseph's behaviour that you don't? I don't know what your mother is like, so please excuse me if I'm not correct about this: But consider your wording. She told you she woke up in the middle of the night because she was scared, do you know if it's true? Do you reckon that maybe she's doing this to make you feel bad? Or have you considered she's jealous of Joseph? Maybe your mother is worried about you getting pregnant or married or having sex young. I'm not sure, only she knows.

Honestly, it sounds like you're keeping your priorities, you're not letting your boyfriend take over your entire life, and you're being smart about things. But it seems like some things need to develop before you realise what's really happening.

All I can suggest is try to keep talking about it to your mum. Did she behave this way with your ex? This is very curious behaviour, and the only way you're going to find out is if you hope she tells you the truth. For now, I wouldn't recommend breaking up with Joseph, at least until you find out what's up with your mother. I wouldn't recommend keeping this from him, either. I'm not saying trust him because you absolutely should not be trusting someone you only just started going out with, but be honest with him. Tell him your mother doesn't approve, and he has to respect that.

Until things unravel, there's not much you can do but not get involved in the theatrics.

Ilysm come to me for anything. I can't guarantee I'll know the answer, but I can try.

[chaneilkular]

ok the gay stuff...... why is literally EVERYONE in this show gay hello????? fucking obsessed. i get the feeling u prefer cartero to bobby & cj which so valid. first of all cj hello cyrus & tj combined like 🥴 no but i love him he seems super sweet and like makes bobby more bold i think??? BUT ALSO why is this kid a junior 😕 the entire time i was like oh he’s a sophomore so only one grade above but then someone said junior at the end and i...... like what was the reason</3 considering that i feel like they won’t be endgame but honestly s2 did not go as i expected so i’m not gna even try and predict what will happen. either way i’m happy bobby has new friends and a bf i feel like he needed those to help him branch out!!! the whole are you jealous what if i am HELLO batshit crazy again bobby being pushed to be open ab his feelings ‼️‼️ but ok cartero like...... liam straight up looked like he’d been the told the worst news of his life at the end HELLO the dude has 2 be bi and like him back why else would he be that devastated ???? i appreciate that they teased a love triangle but it didn’t come until the end rly threw me for a spin ! jada breaking up w him hoooo boi last thing i expected it was so random but hs is like that but still i just didn’t think the writers would do that 😳 ALSO bobby on his own the most important ofc i’m not super attached to either couple tbh like i will say i see more chemistry w cj only bc we got more focus on them but he’d be happy w both and as long as bobby’s happy i’m fine ! so so proud of him for coming out obviously that isn’t necessary at all but for him it meant expressing himself and opening up which he never does so :’) and telling elena AH she was the best and the whole i’d rather take a guy that was incredible..... and then his mom naur don’t get me started the dude rly went his name is cj ah 😭 i was straight up doing a jig in my room last night at all his scenes i love him sm. ALSO ok wish we had more of danielle and cami together but her proposing :’) oh the gays are winning here anyway that is it for now PLEASE lmk ur thoughts on literally anything 💖

let's get into thisss... honestly, this is how a good show should be structured. everyone gay, the token straights on their best behavior and actually setting an example on how to be good allies. we love to see it. yeah, I'm not going to lie. when I've sunken my teeth into something fruity, you better believe I'm going to keep chewing until I've extracted all the flavor. honestly, I just don't have an opinion on cj yet. like, I think liking them as a couple is fine and to say he didn't help bobby grow is just plain wrong. there's just not much else to him for me, personally. they could've named him anything but cj, though. like, this is not a coincidence, I refuse to believe that. so, if we're going to see a lot more of him next season (let's hope, we're going to get one... I've not forgotten how long it took d*sney to renew this show), he needs to presented a little bit more complex, in detail of sorts. we need to get to know him better. when it comes to love triangles though, I'm always all in for just one guy and you know who that is here 🙊 honestly don't know why they went with the 'cooler older guy' trope. I feel like there's a lot of vicious spins to this and I just hope we don't get to see any of them. I'm just tired of certain narratives when it comes to gay relationships in media. going to admit they had a lot more chemistry but this was mainly because bobby and liam had basically nothing going on this season except bobby's initial jealousy... only for them to crank that shit up to 100% real quick with that scene™. if this is not what heartbreak looks like, I don't know what does. for the record: that boy is not straight. I've never been a big fan of coming out narratives. maybe that's just my personal view on things or whatever. but they did it so well? I can't even express how I'm feeling about it. streets are saying I might have been crying a little. will not go into detail. really the most beautiful and best reactions you could get and I love that so much for bobby. really beautifully done, really hopeful. they didn't undermine the importance of it either but also didn't make it weird... you know? maybe the best moments this season by far. cami is literally my favorite side character. I just love how unapologetically lesbian she is with everything she does and says. it's so refreshing to have an character who is allowed to view things from a gay perspective and say things from a gay perspective. completely unredacted. I just love her so much. the show just wouldn't be the same without her 💕

[ilkkijangege]

123

Chad Chronicles is on hold while we work from home.

I'll keep updating this post if anything does happen to us.

Basically, I was telling Jacqui how J*ck told me I should join Tinder, use it during work to find out of he is there and if we would match. But Jacqui was like "what if you don't see him there but his friends see you??" So I was like "Then good na he's not on it 😂 as if he's ever talked about me to his friends 😂"

Then, nearly an hour later, I looked at my "Friends You May Know" on FB (there's a rumor that that is a list of people who's viewed your profile) then I saw that one of his friends are on it!!! I was shook, if the algorithm theory is right, then his friend was stalking me which means he has talked about me to his friends. LOL AYAN NANAMAN OVERTHINKING BES EH 😂

Then Jacqui told me how she asked her bf: if you offer a lift to a girl, does that mean he's interested? Her bf said yes but I shouldn't overthink and wait for another big sign.

Anyways, my Mandalorian plan is still going ahead. 😂

20/3/2020

Well, we didn't really talk online, he welcomed one of the guy on our team because he just got his access sorted today but I did not get the same treatment yesterday 😭

It's G tho 😂 Seems like he really is super smart because I looked into one of his chats and he used the word "futile". I'm just....wow big word 😂

Lol anyways, we're out for the weekend, Disney+ comes out on Tuesday, will try to binge it as soon I can so I can message him by Thursday or something 😂 really hope our conversation can flow naturally. Like I will just say "oh I've finished it and I am now obsessed with Baby Yoda or I can see why you are obsessed with Baby Yoda, he is adorable!" Then hopefully he can be like "What did you think of it?" Etc etc and we live happily ever after. CHOS.

.

21/03/2020

Swear everyone is telling me to either text him or to keep my feet on the ground and let the connection grow.

I REALLY DO NOT KNOW. He keeps doing all these things to me and I am always overthinking it. My friends have told me not to but it is sooo hard. They told me to wait for other signs.

I really want to take a risk and tell him but I really do not want to ruin our new found friendship. I mean I really hope he's just waiting to make more signs because he doesn't think it's time yet or something but I just don't want to give give give and not have anything in return. Haaaay Lord, please help me!

.

22/03/2020

This morning, I told my mom about the fact that he drove me home. At first, I couldn't tell her immediately, I was just staring at her the whole time and she asked "Anong kailangan mo sakin?" I said "nothing." "Bakit naka tingin ka sakin?" Then finally, I said, "Wala lang, may update lang ako sayo." Then she was like "ano may date ka???" I replied, "No update!!! Hinatid nya ako kila tita nung last time kaming pumasok.." and she was just like "ayie, hinahatid ka na ha." Then she told me, "yan dapat, cool ka lang. Pero tapusin mo muna.." She didn't complete her sentence but I knew she was talking about my FE1s but then she was probably thinking that I am nearly 25 and she should let me be. Hahaha. Then she asks "nag offer ba xa?" Sabi ko oo 😂

Then she asks me if he texts me and I told her no, we only talk in work. Then she replied, "ganun talaga" 😂 hay mother, if she had asked more details, I would have told her how I am getting mixed signals from him kaya di ko tlga sure kung gusto nya din ako 😂 but she didn't, so let's leave that for another time. 😂

Lord, pleaseee I trust you. If he doesn't reach out to me, ako na tlga mag rereach out. Need to binge The Mandalorian asap.

.

23/03

He keeps reading my messages on our GC immediately but does not with other people

ANO BA GUSTO MO PARAMDAM KA NAMAN PLS

Happened again at 16;09 ANO BA HUHU

.

24/03

STOP SEEN ZONING MY MESSAGES AS SOON AS I POST THEM AND START TALKING TO ME

.

25/03

No sign of Chad life anywhere, he was pretty much quiet today, not reading/replying to messages etc

.

26/03

I FINISHED THE MANDALORIAN YOU GUYS.

I took a risk and messaged him. It took me a whileeeeee but I just took the plunge.

Basically, I asked him how he was and how working from home has been coming along. It took him like 6 mins to reply, which was fine, we were in work so understandable.

He told me he is relaxed but about to get boring. He asked me ‘how about you?’ So I sent him this quite long response how I’ve been relaxed working in my jammies and binged watch Mandalorian, bummed about 2 eps so illegally streamed the rest. Told him that I am now also obsessed with Baby Yoda (he laughed react to this). Then he said how it was dumb for Disney not to release everything at once. (Was upset he didnt ask me what I thought of the show)

Then I told him if Netflix can do it, so can they. But he said people would just sign up for trial, watch it then cancel. Thennnn he asked if I liked it. I said yes except for Ch.6′s characters. He said he thinks you were not meant to like them.

Then I asked him if he thinks Fennec Shand is still alive. He was like which one was HE again? So I told him correction she* (laugh emoji) then explained her character. He was like ‘Oh yeaaahhh. Then boba fett was supposedly the one who found her” I replied ‘yup that’s the theory but I feel like she was pretty much lifeless already and maybe just a teaser for boba fett then?'

Then nearly 3 hours later, I go check our workplace chat and he seenzoned me. Okur. He read the message at 20.27. He better reply tomorrow or I’ll take it a sign that he really just isn’t interested in me.

On a side note, he went on lunch at 6pm, came back at around 7ish but didn't change his Status xD it's either he forgot or na distract na sya sakin CHOS sige laaaangg.

I swear I hope we can talk more tho. Since he seenzoned me, I will not message him again cos I don't want to look eager/desperate so yeah. Byeeeeee.

.

30/03

STOP READING MY MESSAGES, dear heart and head, STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.

I know you get notifications that "Bianca messaged..." Does your heart flutter when my name appears? STOP OVERTHINKING BIANCA.

Ayan nnmn tayo sa seenzone eh 14:55. Ano ba?

.

1/04/20

I had a dream that he messaged me. He asked me how I was and for some reason, he told me to go to Google Music because they were having a sale and that I should make a track for him. (Like what?)

Also dreamt that he took me home again. When we got to our house, he told me we needed to talk. I think he confessed.

Ay ayoko na.

.

5/4/20

Why do I keep dreaming about him? I dreamt that he messaged me on FB, really long paragraphs of him confessing his feelings.

Urgh.

Oh and I also paid for a tarot reading of how he really sees me. I mean idk if it's real but there are feelings there but there may be a third party but the reader could not 100% confirm it. It is highly probable, he's a single man who could totally date around. The reading also mention how he finds me attractive and sees a long term energy with me. It also says how he may not be ready for a serious romantic relationship but he can see it progressing down the line. But honestly, I do not see him as someone who longs for sex, yknow? I am nearly sure that he could still be a virgin but the fact that he frequented Krystle in college, makes me question it. I mean, he is a white male, it is something I am not super pressed about.

I've just been thinking, if I were to get with a Filipino guy, is there anyone out there who has never had a girlfriend or who has even dated anyone?

Chad really gives me the vibe of never having a girlfriend before but I really see him as not looking for anything at the moment to focus on his dream job.

.

6/4/20

Okay, why did I have a dream that he proposed to me??

I think we argued over something and then a few days later, he proposed. Wtf.

From what I remember, he only proposed in his car. lol

.

8/4/20

So we had a team call today. He has not been working since like Thursday last week because he could not get his VPN to work.

But dang. I heard his voice after 3 weeks. He sounds the same as in real life but his American accent is more prominent 😂

Then our TL said we might still be working from home for the next 3-4 months and I'm just like. HUHUHU.

Will I be over you by then?

.

10/04/20

Had a dream we were back in the office and we were having banters again like nothing has changed.

I think he also messaged me on Facebook one of these isolation days...

I swear I know it was probably unintentional for him to ghost me like that.

.

11/04/20

So I've been searching his Gamer tag on Google, even before I decided to let go of him and there is this one file I keep noticing, it is League of Legends and it seems his password is Yugioh246 😂 it is actually hilarious 😂 I didn't know he is that big of a nerd. I don't see it as a bad thing because I like nerds and I am drawn to them but I hope he is not an incel because that is a major turn off.

Yes, I am not wishing for us to be together anymore but I really hope he finds the woman of his dreams. He deserves to have someone who will understand him for who he is.

.

13/04/20

Another thing, how do I listen to songs without thinking of him?? It is getting frustrating. I used to listen to these songs without thinking of him and now all I do is associate these songs to him. Nakakainis.

.

14/04/20

Why do you keep reading my messages then stop reading others' after mine??

.

18/04/20

Argh why did I dream of him again?

We were back in the office daw and I sat in a different computer because I was avoiding him as in. For some reason, the coat rack was behind him so when it was home time, I grabbed my coat as fast as I could so he would not talk to me. He was slouched in his seat and looked really tired. His hair was long like mid length sufer dude hair, he was not wearing his hat. But then he saw me and called me and said "Bianca, I'll give you a ride home." I replied, gaga naman ate nyo, "If it's not raining, I can walk but if it is, I'll take the bus." He replied, "What time is your bus?" I replied, "In an hour." He replied, "Okay, if it's raining, I'll wait for you here, let me know." Then I grabbed my stuff from my locker, I went out the office and it was raining. I went back into the office and told him that it was raining. So he got up from his seat and we walked to his car. On the way, I noticed he looked really tired and his eyes were red so I asked him, "Did you not sleep?" His reply was: "Yeah I came to work with no sleep." So we just walked to his car and he opened the door for me. He even adjusted my seat.

Then for some weird reason, we ended up in Dolphins Barn, like the flats and around Tesco. Then there were billboards for Book of Mormons and he saw it he said or read "What about the Mormons?" Then I was confused at first so he pointed at the ads for the Book of Mormons. Then I told him: "Oh I really wanna see that! I heard it's meant to be one of the best Broadway shows." He then tells me he is not a big play fan but there is something he likes. I asked him but he saw another Book of Mormons billboard and pointed to it. Then we reached Reilly's Ave and idk why but my whole family and our old neighbors were all outside. Bsta ang weird talaga na he dropped me off in our old house. Dreams are weird.

So I just thanked him and watched him leave.

Aish why did I dream of you again???

.

20/4/20

Had another dream about him. Just why oh why? What are these dreams trying to tell me? I haven't been thinking about him seriously so idk.

Basically in this dream, we were all back in the office. So we got a few newbies who joined our team. And management/TL thought it was a good idea to blend the newbies with the senior agents so there was a complete seat change again. Chad and the guy beside him moved to my old area, as in Chad moved to my old seat. While I was stayed in my current seat. Of course I felt sad that I won't be able to see him face to face as often anymore and that I felt like our friendship will drift apart again.

Basta ano baaa I don't understand this. Do I still have feelings for him deep down?

Oh and he read my message on the group chat again. 10:18am. I mean ok he's been active on the UKI chat today so here's me overthinking again.

.

23/04/20

Another day, another Chad dream.

So in this dream, I was in Tesco with my mom or Aldi, anyways a supermarket.

I wanted to make Tacos so I was at the spice aisle, looking for a taco spice mix. Then out of nowhere, he pops up and sees me. Says hello and asked how I was etc, while I was grabbing the taco spice mix.

Then I told him goodbye but I still kept seeing him everywhere in the store even though I purposely was avoiding him.

WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING OF HIM.

It is honestly annoying. 😭

I just wanna move on.

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27/04/20

Been a while since my last dream but I dreamt that he drove me home, yet again, but I only remember the part where we entered Cherrywood and then I just got out of the car and don't even remember saying thanks. I stood at the front door, until he left.

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28/04/20

Arghhh he read my messages again on the office chat almost instantly at 2.37pm 😩😩😩😩 Whereas our own team's chat has been active all day, yet he has not read the messages on there since yesterday morning!!

Were you expecting that I messaged you or something??? CMON IF YOU WANNA TALK TO ME JUST MESSAGE ME. I already messaged you first, it's your turn.

Ugh I hate overthinking this!!

Also, 26th of April marked the 1st month since we last talked. Hmmmm have I fully moved on? I really don't think I have but I am just trying to live my life. Why must you be an introvert Chad, we'll be waiting for each other forever.

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6/05/20

Hmmmm... Beginning to think he actually has 3 siblings contrary to the fact that I thought he said there are 3 of them in the family, him being the eldest, followed by his sister then his younger brother.

If it is his brother that I saw on FB then it makes sense now because remember when he gave out chocolates for Christmas? I heard him say "my brother's work had them on sale" or something along the lines. And the other brother I was aware of was only a kid. This person I saw matches the bill, from Chicago and went to the same secondary school as him. (AND LOOKS LIKE HIM!!! We may be the same age or a year younger because he graduated secondary school in 2014) [yup he is older than me by 6 months and just like his older brother, he is also very much into Star Wars and video games. But he seems more social than his bro. Haha xa na lang date ko 😂 Chad 2.0 chosss Chad introduce me to your bro para di tayo awkward sa work 😂 They are actually only 10 months apart, I wonder if they are close.]

Hmmmmm why am I such a stalker 😂

(7.6 update: nah saw his bro's IG and he seems like a fckboi, his DP is a mirror selfie of him shirtless, showing off his v line abs 😂)

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13/05/20

It's been a while. As of yesterday, he is fully back to work. We had a team meeting on Monday and he was on it. He said they gave him a laptop to work on. I had myself on mute so I was just listening to him. Yes I wanted to join in on the convo but I needed to stop myself. I need to distance myself until I fully move on from him.

Anyways, today, a case was assigned to me at around 8.30 in the morning. I didn't action it because the office was going mad with chats so I said I was gonna action it when I had a chance later on.

Then I noticed that it disappeared from my queue. I went to my closed cases and I saw that he had actioned it. I mean, I am not saying that he did it on his own free will, our TL may have asked him to go through our team's response received internal queue. Which is aight but this case was not originally mine, but one of his office broskis, na mean? So it's either he did not read the email thread at all or he just decided to close it in MY name. I mean he had to type my name and I wonder if he felt something. CHOSSSSSS 😂

But I'm telling you guys, ever since he got access again, my heart started fluttering again just like when I was still crushing on him, before I moved in front of him and he started giving me all these attention that made me fall in love with him.

I have been trying to move on. I even wrote a 7 page journal entry about my feelings. I've been super distracting myself by watching Kim Possible and staying away from sappy romantic shows 😂

I need more time to heal but it will be okay!

Update 14/5:

I got another case from the same broski, which he actioned yesterday and closed it under his broski's name but he closed the other one on mine.

Ugh why am I overthinking this again!!!

Chad please go away from my feelings 😩

15/5

Today, I helped him out with one of his cases.

He said 'thanks!' whereas the past few days, he's only been replying to people on our team with 'ty!'.

Made me overthink again but I was just being ridiculous 😂 'ty' tapos today sakin 'thanks', special ako chos 😂 honestly wasn't that bothered but okay! Stop giving me special treatment please 😂 don't treat me differently from others if you don't feel the same way because it's unhealthy for me 😂

Helped him again with another one and he said 'thanks!' again urgh. Swear tho, I was hesitating a bit when I was helping him. My heart was thumping again like it did before we started getting comfortable with each other 😭😭😭

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17/5/20

Exactly 2 months since I saw him and when he dropped me home.

Oh Chad. Will I ever be over you.

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18/5/20

Helped him with another case because no one was helping him so I was just being nice.

Bianca don't be marupok pls. You've been making progress. Don't relapse now.

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20/5/20

Another day of helping him out....

Basically he asked our group chat for help, no one replied for like 5 minutes so I said I'll help him.

Then he private messaged me about the case. He told me there were a lot and said "ahah". I should have joked around but I didn't or even asked him how he was 😭

But after I helped him, this was his reply:

Huhuhu parang ang happy nya na may tumulong sa kanya. Chad naman, don't do this to me! I am trying to move on 😭

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21/05/20

Haaaayy... Reading my messages again as soon as I post them. Chad Chad Chad ....

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26/05/20

He legit have not read messages on our office GC since 10.30 this morning. I messaged a few times around 3pm and he kept reading them. Ano ba kasi Chad.

Don't be scared of rejection, I know I may not be showing real signs but I am an awkward turtle, just talk to me.

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27/05/20

As usual no one was helping him again so I private messaged him and asked if anyone was helping yet.

His response:

Hahaha cute 😂 so I told him 'give me the deets, I'll send it up'.

He said 'ty!!', gave me the deets.

Then when I completed it, this was his reply:

Hahaha naloka na xa, double a. Choss. I replied with "anytime 😊" 😂 para konti landi to let him know na I am here to help anytime HAHAHAHAHAHAHA chos

BAKIT HIRAP MAG MOVE ON MGA BESH

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5/6/20

So I've been hesitating about posting this but about 2 days ago? I had a dream about him again. It wasn't just him in it but the dream mostly centered about him and I.

Basically, we there was a party in the office and for some reason, I was getting ready at my desk as in curling my hair (so weird 😂😂😂).

Then Chad decided to go out of the computer area, probs was on a break or something. Then my team decided it was a good idea to hide his baby yoda plushie so I hid it in my locker and when he came back, he kept looking for it and we were just laughing at him. 😂

That was it haha.

But you guys, I've been diligently praying for my vocation and I've been getting signs about marriage etc. What if he's the one? God, please give me more signs.

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15/06/20

So it's been a while. I've been helping him here and there over the last few weeks.

Today's response was "awesome, thanks!"

And that made me kilig inside. 😂

I am awesome, chos! 😂

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16/06/20

Just saw the July Schedule and he is taking 2 weeks holidays 😂

Lol fam watchu gonna do? 😂

Tara let's go on a date chos 😂

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24/06/20

I miss him ☹️ But I've been good with not thinking about him a lot but I just really can't wait to be able to ask him out in person hahaayyyy

Hmmmm I also suddenly wondered if he still has the card I gave him for Christmas. That was a cute card, €4 din un ha hahaha

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3/07/20

Yo wassup.

I had a dream, so we were back in the office. We were on the weekend shift and for some reason, I decided I was staying back for a bit more so he left before me.

Basically, from this dream, it seems that we were on minimal speaking terms. So like as he was leaving, at the computer area door, he said bye to me and idk why, I asked him to have dessert with me on Monday 😂 it was weird 😂

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12/07/20

Okur, I had a dream that he dropped me off again in Cherrywood, like just out of nowhere. Like all I remember was that we were walking to his car together.

He even opened my door and carried my bag and walked me to the front door. Haaayyy....

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14/07/20

So today, I was overthinking again.

Basically there was a post in work where an SME asked him to tag his team. He tagged me first over his broskis and that made me quite overthink again. Like the way he tagged our team was not as if it was alphabetical order. So why did he tag me first?

Hahah ako ung unang pumasok sa isip nya

Huhuhu ayoko naaaaa

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19/07/2020

So he is on his 2 weeks PTO from tomorrow.

Haaaaayyyyy miss ko na xa, bakit ba kasi ako ganito. Pero as long as he has not said that he is not interested in me, may chance pa rin tlga kami eh.

Wag lang tlaga xang umalis ng company and it will be grand.

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08/08/20

Been a while since this was updated, nothing's been happening between us so there is nothing to report. But anyways, lately I've been having (r-rated) fantasies about him 😂 argh I just want to be with him 😂

He's also started playing Fall Guys on the PS4, we have something in common na chos 😂

Also, there's an SME position in work and I have a feeling he might apply huhu if he gets it, he'll be level 12 and I won't be able to date him 😭😂

Honestly still think may something sila ng QA namin huhuhu

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16/08/20

So I told MF on the 14th of August about everything that has happened, like how I was getting mixed signals that made me overthink alot to me messaging him twice and being left on read, also how I plan on asking him out when we get to the office. (Also how he dropped me home.)

I told her how it's been very hard for me in the last 5 months, trying to move on from someone I don't even talk to. She was very understanding and told me that she also has not talked to Chad since WFH, as she was also left on read. She said he may not be the texty type because he's quite shy.

I was honestly shook. I thought they talk, even on our workplace chat because they are close in work. Cause I asked her if it was even a good idea for me to ask him out or if she knows if he's seeing someone because I don't want to intrude. I told her I want to take a risk with him but a part of me fears rejection.

She asked me if I ever thought about asking him out for coffee since things are opening up. I told her, yes but I don't think we are in that level where I could just ask him randomly.

So her plan is to build up a rapport with him again and find out the goss. I really hope she can build something up with him and that if ever, this time, there will be progress.

Until I know I have a chance with him, I can't move on. If he's seeing someone, then okay at least I'll know where I stand.

I'll let you know if there's progress.

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19/08/2020

So today, I helped him out with a case.

One of the internal tools was not working for him so he asked for help. I was the first to reply so I told him to send me the details and I'll do it.

When I did it for him, he said 'Perfect thank you!' and I just replied, "No worries 😊" landi landi with that emoji 😂 Wish we kinda had a conversation going though 😭 Wish I asked him how he was but it wasn't appropriate okay 😂

Haaayy can't wait to find out if he's dating anyone or when I'll see him again so I can ask him out. HAAAAAYYYYSSSS.

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9/9/20

So yesterday, I asked our group chat for help on a case. I didn't really expect that he would be the one to respond but he did and that was cute. Awww. ❤️

Looool I wish I could've thanked him personally but other people started helping me out so yeah. But for a brief moment, I was kilig haha

Really wanna ask him out already! But cases are rising again and I don't want him to use Covid as an excuse so I'll wait again until cases have slowed down.

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13/09/20

So today, I had a video call with MF. She told me that she got a new job 😭 meaning, she won't be able to be my wingwoman now 😭

I am happy for her but this cuts down all my chances with Chad 😭

But she did talk to Chad and he applied to the SME role apparently, I think he may have already been interviewed but he didn't hear back from them yet.

MF also said that we should meet up for a coffee date "with Bianca" and he said we should hahaha cmon MF make this a reality please so I can talk to him 😭

[datingadviceonreddit]

Hey guys! I appreciate any insight or advice you can give me into this situation. Bear with me as I attempt to explain it in the most clear, cohesive way. I'm a 22 year old female who's been involved with a 27 year old male for about three months, going on four. We work together, but in retail...not like a corporate office job. We went on our initial date and he revealed to me that he's been in many long term relationships. I, on the other hand, have only been in one and don't usually gravitate toward feeling the need to be in one. I told him this - more in an attempt to seem "cool" I guess you could say; Like, I didn't want him thinking I was going into this looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with or anything intense like that. But that may have been a mistake.Fast forward to later, we were intimate and I slept over. This became a regular thing. So I assumed we were going to be friends with benefits. Then, I met his sister. Albeit accidentally (she came over while I was still there from the previous night). But he wasn't embarrassed or awkward about me meeting her. Then he asked me to meet a few of his friends. I hung out with them on two separate occasions. He didn't introduce me as his girlfriend, though. In fact, we went out one night and a girl asked us if we were together. We awkwardly fumbled for an answer before he said "we're coworkers". A few weeks ago, I took a trip with him where he gave me a tour of his old college town and I met even more of his friends. Over the holidays, he bought me a really nice (and expensive!) gift, despite me not getting him anything. I spent new years with him as well. Recently, I hung out with him and his sister, who later told him that she likes me. I've met a few more of his friends on separate occasions. I may know almost all of them now. And the most recent development was when he let it drop that his "mom says hi", meaning that he's mentioned me to at least one of his parents. I, in turn, have mentioned him to mine. He's also met my sister.Whew! So that's all the information. But even with all of that, I find myself asking why hasn't he tried to make it "official". I know it's implied that we're together, so to speak. I mean, we're not sleeping with other people. But we haven't talked about it. I sleep at his place a few nights a week. I have a toothbrush and some clothes there. We text every day and are best friends on snapchat. We're super comfortable around each other. I mean, yes we've seen each other naked but other stuff too. I have no problem talking about/doing gross stuff around him. And he has no problem doing gross stuff around me. We have the same sense of humor...we can just be ourselves with each other. But yet, we have no title. I don't know how he describes me to people when he's referring to me. As his girlfriend? Or just a girl he's hooking up with? I certainly don't know how to refer to him. Because technically, he's not my boyfriend.Part of me says that you don't do all that for a random hookup. You don't spend money and introduce her to your friends and family and tell your mom about her if you're not serious. But it's been almost four months. Do you think it may be because I told him I've only been in one relationship so he doesn't think I'm interested in making it official? He's also from a religious family (Jewish) although he's not religious. But he has many Jewish family friends. I'm clearly not Jewish. Not trying to make blanket statements, but most people of my race generally aren't Jewish...I'll put it that way. So in the back of my head I get this nagging fear that because of this cultural difference, he doesn't see a longterm future with me. He's also older. So maybe he doesn't feel the need to label this or ask me out? Maybe he assumes we're both mature enough to be on the same page about this without him having to ask me to be his girlfriend officially? I don't know. I have a friend who's been with her bf for years and he never officially asked her out; they don't have an exact anniversary date. Sometimes I think my situation could be similar. But what if it's not?So I guess my main questions to you guys are: Would you do all that stuff (introduce someone to your family members and friends, spend money on them, talk to them daily, want them to spend the night often) if you didn't see a longterm future with them? Would you introduce someone you're casually seeing to your friends or siblings? How would you handle this situation? Would you wait it out and see how it plays out or would you bring it up? Do you think having the 'what are we' talk could ruin what we have going on? Is four months a long time to hang out with someone without making it official, or is this normal?I just don't want to develop deeper feelings and start thinking about a future only to find out that he never saw one between us. But I also don't want to rush things or force him to have a discussion about feelings. Thanks so much! Sorry this got kind of long. via /r/dating_advice