#tolkien crack

[mag200]

my dealer: got some straight gas🔥😛 this strain is called "Samwise the Brave" you'll be zonked out of your gourd💯

me: yeah whatever, i dont feel shit

me five minutes later: dude i swear theres some good in this world mister frodo. and its worth fighting for.

gollum pacing and shaking in the corner: master tricksed us

[hopecomesbacktolife]

I’ve been enjoying Philomena Cunk recently and just found this (incredible) meme and subsequent comments while looking for a different meme

I would give so many nauglamirs to see a Cunk on (Middle)Earth show omg

[maglorslostsilmaril]

this came to me in a vision

[overlord-of-fantasy]

Waaait... If Tolkien hated the Beatles and Morgoth created evil by singing awful music... does that mean Morgoth's discord was Beatles music? Just imagine him singing yellow submarine XD

[dfwbwfbbwfbwf]

The Elf of Many Clans

In reference to this poll:

I love the idea of Elrond deciding which clan he's going with based off the situation.

-----

"High King of the Noldor? Ereinion, I'm flattered, but I'm too Mannish for that."

"Oh, I couldn't possibly be King of Beleriand - for obvious reasons - and the Thindrim. I'm Fëanárion, after all!"

"While I am honored you would consider me as the leader of the House of Fëanáro, Telpë, I am a Maia, and we all know how the family feels about Ainur."

"It is true that your first king was my brother, Pelendur, but I am not a Man. I am only an Elf, and a healer at that."

[ichabodjane]

The Rings of Power S01E05 “Partings”: A Brief Recap Pt 4

[Pt1]  [Pt2]  [Pt3]  [Masterpost]

[annatars-nine-rings]

Annatar: The absolute nerve of some people, comparing your forge work to that of Fëanor. We all know who is the superior smith.

Celebrimbor: 🥹

Annatar: Me.

Celebrimbor: 😢

[stellavesperis]

I was going through my old sketchbook the other day and I found a drawing of this COMPLETELY on crack Silmarillion dream I had a few years ago and I had to share it.

So I was part of a pyramid scheme (bear with me) and I had to sell (discounted) 300$ headphones at the airport for no discernible reason. Obviously, I wasn’t having much luck going up to people and giving my sales pitch to them to buy 300$ headphones at the airport (most likely the price scared them away).

And then from afar I caught the gleam of a helmet going through security. And who should stand there but none other than Túrin Turambar, picking up the dragon-helm on the other side of TSA?

So I started yelling his name across the airport and ran over to him, started giving my sales pitch for my 300$ headphones, going- “well, today is your lucky day! For the low price of-“

And the man just stood there. Gave me the blankest most haunted stare of mistrust I’ve ever seen. And then promptly walked away as fast as he could go.

[camille-lachenille]

Therapist: What does your wife looks like?

JRRT: She’s tall, black haired and grey-eyed and the fairest woman to ever walk upon this Earth.

Therapist: Sounds about right. Can you describe me a few of the Elves you wrote about?

JRRT: Well, there is Lúthien, who is half-Maia, which is basically a minor goddess, and she was the fairest woman to walk upon Middle-Earth. She was tall, had hair as dark as the night and grey eyes. Then there is her son, who was called Dior the Fair, who looked just like her, and her great-grandson Elrond who had kind grey eyes, black hair and is tall and wise. Did I tell he is really kind and everyone loves him?

Therapist: Mhmh, continue.

JRRT: Of course! You see there is Finwë, who was fair of face, tall, with dark hair and grey eyes. I said Noldor usually don’t have black hair but I made an exception for him because he’s special. Then there are Fëanor and Fingolfin, who look just like Finwë, their father, and most of the grandchildren of Finwë took after him in some way really.

Therapist: Right. And what about Men? You wrote about them too? Describe your favourite amongst them.

JRRT: First there is Morwen, who was called Eledhwen because she looked just like an Elf-woman with her tall and slender stature, her black hair and grey eyes. And if we go to the Third Age, we have Aragorn, son of Arathorn, who is a 64 times grand-nephew to Elrond and he is very tall and very fair and looks a lot like an Elf! And Aragorn weds Arwen, Elrond’s daughter, who is said to be Lúthien reborn with how fair she is and her ressemblance to her ancestress.

Therapist: I can sense like a pattern here. Last question, can you describe me the perfect love interest for *checks notes* Éowyn?

JRRT: Alright, so here is Faramir, who looks like an Elf -in fact he has elven ancestors- and…

Therapist: let me guess; he’s tall, fair of face, dark haired and grey-eyed and incredibly kind and intelligent?

JRRT: … yes, how did you know?

Therapist: Sir, you are so besotted with your wife, continue like that. But please, at least change the hair colour of your characters, you’ll confuse the readers.

JRRT: I can make some of them silver-haired?

Therapist: *sighs* I guess, yes.

[growingingreenwood]

Do you think instead of "Duck, Duck, Goose" That elves play "Elf, Elf, Orc" instead?

[eloquentsisyphianturmoil]

anyone remember this? (Context: why elves don’t have cows)

Well I was rereading the hobbit when all these fucking sheep served Thorin and co. bread and honey at Beorn’s, like distinguished butlers.

I was right.

[mag200]

rip gandalf you wouldve loved poppers. hes ten thousand years old he should be at the clubb

[helenvader]

I added some minifigs to the Rivendell set.

Being me, it's not those that you would normally expect. :-)

The Council is discussing a magical hamster. Presiding: Lord Havelock Vetinari, his secretary Rufus Drumknott at his side.

Then we have all forms of Sauron we've seen so far, George R. R. Martin, and "Ganda and Pandalf", an in-joke, since in the past all of my builds had Gandalf and Panda.

In the forge we have Halbrand again, with Galadriel and Celebrimbor. Also starring: Galadriel's armour.

I will add more since there are rooms currently empty. Just need to think about who will be given the honour. 😂

[thegreatzombieartisan]

[Sauron] perceived at once that Galadriel would be his chief adversary and obstacle, and he endeavoured therefore to placate her, bearing her scorn with outward patience and courtesy.

Annatar: *hums an upbeat tune of enchantment to put her at ease*

Galadriel: Shut up, you cheerful bastard.

[sadsilmarilsoup]

@eloquentsisyphianturmoil I just rembered about these lol. Here's the poems I'm willing to share because the other ones lowkey don't make sense. I don't even know what I'm reading 😭

So this is the first poem I ever wrote about lotr called "I'm Obsessed" and it's by yours truly 💅

Don't ask me what I mean by men are annoying.... I think eleven year old me was mad bc I thought they were being dicks by not letting Éowyn leave the houses of healing after Pelennor even though it was for👏her👏own👏health👏

"When is it morning?" has got to be my favorite line. Because the sky was all dark and whatever during the rotk. I had those poetry skills yk 😏

🥔✨️🥔✨️🥔✨️🥔✨️🥔✨️🥔✨️🥔✨️🥔✨️🥔✨️🥔

This second one is my absolute favorite. This poem is a real banger! I think it should be a song.

Down By The Bay except it's Down By Mordor and told from Sam's POV. I'm pretty proud of it 😌

Anyways that's it :P

[dfwbwfbbwfbwf]

The real reason Fëanáro won't be reembodied until Dagor Dagorath

Because he'd invent the car, and we all know how that would work out.

"Charge them and scatter!" -Jirt Fëanáro