#tommy and ellie

[mdawgswizzleinthehizzle]

this is a tommy miller and gabriel luna appreciation post. there are simply not nearly enough of these.

i’m gonna exclude the bad times and just talk about the good ‘cause we need some happier talks in this fandom.

first let’s talk about tommy miller.

his relationship with joel is absolutely one of my favorites. the way that joel basically raised him alongside sarah. tommy definitely looks up to joel in the way that only a little brother can. joel was a mentor, a friend, a father figure, a brother, someone who tommy could mess with like a brother but also talk to about the serious things. and of course, we have the obvious examples of how close tommy and joel were…

tommy wrote joel letters from camp when he was a kid just because he missed him, and even after they reunited those twenty some years later in jackson, they screwed with each other in the patrol logbooks.

and i’m sure they’ve both saved each other from dying on many accounts. like on outbreak day, while tommy was too late to save sarah, he saved joel, and joel was probably crazy about making sure tommy was safe after the outbreak because he was the only family he had left.

then we have that time in jackson when joel and him reunited. makes me cry. and then how tommy agreed to take ellie because he knows that his brother CANNOT handle another one of his kids dying, despite the things that he is putting at risk himself: the relationship with his wife and the fact that he himself is going to be a father. but he’ll risk it because he loves joel.

tommy’s promise to joel AND ellie that there will be a place waiting at jackson for them after their return.

tommy and ellie bonding, him just being an amazing uncle.

after joel’s death, tommy showing up with some food for ellie and checking on her.

and literally so many more examples of why i love tommy.

and then we have gabriel luna. i CANNOT WAIT for him to eat this role up like he already has.

gabriel is a gorgeous man himself, alongside pedro, and their acting together is *chef’s kiss*. they work so well together. pre-outbreak, the reunion, the bar scene, the heavy talk, like i’m so ready for more.

and i’m so ready to see more gabriel and bella too. they’re all such good actors and i really love gabriel as tommy, so i’m super anxious to see more of him these next seasons. next emmy winner, i see it.

[actual-changeling]

we all love the "Ellie hating Tommy's guts" trope but have you ever stopped to think that maybe she really wants him to like her (he is Joel's brother after all and she has a deep-seated need for attention) but Tommy is being all southern gentleman and staying at a distance cause he doesn't want to force himself onto her.

they're both just longingly staring at each other like man i wish they liked me, it would make joel so happy, too but they're both just being fucking stupid

edit: the fic has been posted, you can find it here!!

[romana-after-dark]

Ghost of You: Chapter 1

Ellie Miller & Joel Miller

ft. Tommy Miller, Lorenzo and Zach Aleverano

Masterlist

Summary: 16 years after her mom and dad's death, Ellie is finding her place in Jackson, being raised by her Uncle Tommy with the help of her uncle's Lorenzo and Zach. She loves them, but can't help but feel stifled. Soon, she finds out her suspicions were true, and her uncles have been lying to her. Will Ellie learn the truth? Can she trust anyone in this situation?

Takes place after The Wrong Way, but if you havn't read that series (too dark for you, too long, etc) you can read this. Since it's through Ellie's perspective, you can discover the truth alongside her.

DARK FIC! This is a dark!Joel, with canon typical violence and extra on the Joel. Anything discussed or shown in TWW is liable to be discussed here. There will be violence, but no shown sexual violence. Although this Joel is very dark, he is NOT DARK TO ELLIE. None of the things that happened to Ellie's mom are applicable to Ellie, but will be discussed.

Content warnings for entire series, not chapter by chapter unless more is added.

Talk/mentions/discussions of post rape, molestation, torture, violence, branding, forced breeding, major age gap (early 20's to later 40's), death. Child endangerment, major character death, murder, homophobic remarks, minor hate crime, manipulation, identity crisis.

***************

Ellie couldn’t say she had grown up sheltered, not with Lorenzo as an uncle, and she knew that life ‘before’ had teenagers much more sheltered and confined than her. She was taught how to shoot by her uncle Tommy early on and had a gun Tommy kept locked in the gun cabinet. She could break the glass for emergencies, but she knew he thought this would prevent her from sneaking out at night if she had no protection. At 16, she was participating in patrols with other youths although it was a position more for practice than anything. They were inner, barely treading more than a mile outside of Jackson at most. The adults did the real patrols, but everyone started somewhere she supposed. Everyone had a job here except for the sick and very young, Ellie had gone the route of patrols, even though Uncle Tommy was less than thrilled. He had tried to encourage her towards medicine, seeing as Ellie was never phased by the idea of violence or blood or bodily fluids, but Ellie wasn’t a book person, she barely managed in school as it was, only suffering through another few years to not disappoint uncles. She loved them all, very much, but they could be a lot, especially Tommy.

Tommy raised her, Tommy was who she lived with. He could be overbearing, over protective, intense, but kind and understanding. Ellie never found much of a reason to complain about him the way others her age complained about there parents. He never raised his voice in anger, never hurt her, insulted her, demeaned her the way she knew others parents did… still, Ellie couldn’t help but feel… stifled. That’s why she started sneaking out. She didn’t do anything bad, it was just getting out of Jackson and walking, occasionally taking Uncle Zach’s horse if she was feeling daring. Tommy would know if she took his horse. Tommy always new. He was so attuned to her, she felt bad being annoyed by it… he was such a good dad… and he was her dad, even if not by blood. Well. A little by blood. 

Ellie knew since she was young that Tommy wasn’t her dad, she didn't really remember a time when she didn’t know; she was always just raised by her uncles. From what she was told, her mom and dad met in Boston, but they were unhappy in the QZ and decided to venture out west with the little family they had. Her dad, Joel, had a brother Tommy. Her mom also had a brother, he uncle Zach, and Zach’s husband Lorenzo. With them was Tommy’s friend Jack, Jack’s cousin Maura, and Ellie’s mom’s friend June. June and Maura fell in love on the trip and lived several miles outside of Jackson, coming to visit often, and thank god for them. Ellie loved her uncles but she did not want to get the ‘changing body’ talks from them. It was on the journey westward that her mom became pregnant with Ellie, and Tommy told her how Joel protected her mom, cared for her, and died trying to save her. Joel was killed by an infected as she gave birth to Ellie, and her mom died in childbirth, Tommy found her bleeding out and promised to take care of Ellie… and that he did. That’s why he was so protective, she knew; he felt guilt over her parents deaths. This is the story Uncle Tommy, Uncle Zach, Aunt Maura and Aunt June repeated to her growing up, sprinkling little details and side quests of the journey, making it come alive….

Renzo never told her the story. She had the distinct feeling they all were lying, but about what, she didn’t know. There was a point in her youth she had wondered if Tommy was a real dad, but that was a passing phase. Uncle Lorenzo never lied, though. She could tell. He wouldn’t tell her the story even when she was sleeping over at her uncles who lived next door and was in the stage she wouldn't go to sleep without it, Uncle Zach always told it, not Lorenzo. Lorenzo talked about her mom, however. He told her stories about the fun they would have, the things they would do at the house they had all settled in, the time they spent together, they were really close it seemed. Lorenzo never talked about her dad. Lorenzo was the fun uncle, always taking her out for adventures as a kid, sticking up for her when she wanted to do something Tommy didn’t like. 

Zach was the easiest to talk to. His calm demeanor was soothing, he never had big reactions to things. It was Zach that she told she got her period. Not that she thought any of them would cause a fuss or be grossed out, but she knew she could count on Zach to calm her when her sheets and clothes were red that morning. And that he did. When he heard her call down the hall to him as he had coffee with Lorenzo and Tommy, he came to the bathroom and explained the situation through a cracked door. Zach simply nodded, told her to take a shower and he’d take care of it. When she was done, Tommy had clean clothes, some pads he’d gotten from the neighbors, and had put her soiled sheets and clothes in the wash. He asked her if there was anything else she needed or wanted to talk about or ask, Ellie said no and he said okay and that he’d tell Tommy to make sure to keep pads from the store from then on. Maura and June came by a few days later for a ‘surprise visit’, but Ellie knew Zach asked them over in case there was anything you’d rather talk to a girl about. Uncle Zach was thoughtful like that.

She had a good life in Jackson, she knew. Horror stories of the likes outside her home town were proof of that; infected, yes, but the raiders were often worse. Murder, torture, rape… 

Still, Ellie found herself wandering outside the city late at night, sneaking out the window on her ground floor bedroom. She didn’t have her gun, which she knew was stupid, but she figured her knife was enough; there wouldn’t be any dangers here, not with patrolmen out. Tommy had given her the knife when she was 8, saying that her mom had used it to kill the infected while in labor, protecting baby Ellie even though she just watched her husband get torn apart… the knife would protect her, he said, just like her mom, dad, and big sister Sarah did in heaven. 

She was smart, she knew the patrol pattern, able to dodge the faces she knew that would turn her in to Tommy in a second. What would he do? He wouldn’t yell. He’d be disappointed. That was worse. 

Yeah, she wouldn’t get caught by the patrol. She wouldn’t be caught by infected. 

But the man she didn’t recognize in front of her was not something she was prepared for. A raider. Is he coming to steal a few horses and go? Is he scoping out the place for other to attack? Is he going to rape her, or kidnap her and traffick her and-

“Ellie June Miller.” The old man spoke soft as he stepped into the light of the stars, revealing his features. He was older, a few years older than Uncle Tommy at least with much more gray hair than him, shorter and a gruff beard. He was about the same height too, but broad, intimidating…

And he knew her full name.

She took a step back as he took a step forward. The man’s hands were stuffed into his jeans, a flannel over a gray t-shirt in the mid-spring night, an easy express on his face. “I know you’re probably confused.” He stopped walking when she startled at his words. “Can I just… lay it all out for you? Maybe that’ll make things easier on us both.” A light chuckle, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

Ellie was terrified, but she tried not to let it show. “O-okay.” She managed to only stutter a little bit on the words, forcing her voice to go deeper in an attempt to sound older.

A deep breath. Release. “I think your Uncles have been lying to you. Name’s Joel Miller” He reached out his hand, but Ellie was too stunned to speak, so Joel put it away, tucked back none threateningly in his pockets. He seemed to allow her a moment to put the pieces together herself before being straightforward as promised. “I’m your dad, Ellie, and I’ve been waiting for a chance to meet you. I didn’t mean to run into you just now but when I saw you… wow.” A light smile spread on his face as he chuckled. “You grew up. I just had to meet you.”

A faint eeeeee in her ear, she barely heard what Joel said, still trying to process the news. “No…” she shook her head. “No fucking way, my dad died, Tommy wouldn’t lie to me.” Despite the fact she knew they were lying… she didn’t think it could possible be about something as huge as to whether or not her dad was alive… was her mom? Why was she with Tommy? Why did they lie? How much did they lie about? Ellie’s world shattered beneath her, crumbling down as she picked apart every bit of her identity in milliseconds. She could hear his voice calling her name, but she couldn’t brake out. It was all muffled around her, and Ellie found herself suddenly breathless, chest aching for air she couldn’t grasp. What was happening to her? Was she sick? Had he poisoned her with some kind of toxic gas? Everything was falling apart around her.

“Hey” His voice broke through, suddenly closer and hands on her face. “Ellie June, look at me” Ellie’s eyes snapped up to his, deep and brown and worried. “Hey it’s okay, it’s okay baby girl, I need you to breathe, alright? Deep breath in, deep breath out- look at me- deep breath in, deep breath out.” Joel continued to guide her, focusing her breaths until she calmed down, taking a small step away from the stranger whose hand was on her face, and he took a step back in turn.

Ellie still felt unwell, but more like she was going to live.

“I think you had an anxiety attack.” Joel spoke in a soft tone. “I get them sometimes too. Never when I was so young but… you’ve gotten some big news.”

She shook her head. “You gotta be fucking lying to me,”

“Wouldn’t lie to you.” He paused, allowing Ellie some time to breathe. “Can I… can I explain things? You don’t gotta see me again I just… I don’t want you think’n I didn’t want yuh or noth’n.” He shuffled in place, eyes glancing down.

“Um… yeah, I guess…” She wasn’t sure how much information she could take, but she was determined to know the truth. 

Joel took a deep breath. “I know the story your family told you. Some of it’s true, some ain’t.”

“My mom…” A glimmer of hope.

“I’m sorry, but she really is dead. Not entirely different from what you know. I can give you the whole story if you’d like but… it’s getting late, sun will be up soon. I’ll give you the run down and if you decide you wanna see me again… we can meet here next week? Around midnight?”

“Tell me first. Prove to me you’re not lying.” Ellie insisted, refusing to be lied to again.

With a nod, he began. “I met your mom a few hours from Jackson. Your grandpa was a right bastard, I think Zach’s said something similar, but telling you he’s from Boston. That ain’t true, but his dad was a horrible person. Tommy and I had a group stationed a few hours south, we offered protection to land we controlled for a fee and-”

“Raiders.” She said plainly. Uncle Tommy was a raider? She couldn’t believe it. “I know you’re lying, Tommy wouldn’t do that shit.”

“I assure you,he would.” He spoke with a smile. “But he was always the softer one. Raider ain’t what you think, not how we did it, not how I do things now… we offer protection, we keep people safe. Jackson has been under that protection for free since you got here, Ellie June. I wanted to keep you safe.”

Growing impatient, and maybe a little tired, Ellie motioned him to go on. “Keep talking, I don’t have all night”

“No” He chuckled, “I suppose you don’t. Anyway, your grandpa’s farm was on my property, and we fell in love. I took her away from the abuse she was suffering, we got married, became pregnant with you.” His smile was wistful, bittersweet in the memories, but sad in the loss. “That knife you have, that used to be mine. I gave it to her and I sure am glad, she used it to defend you from an infected, that much is true.” The tears in his eyes were evident, and Ellie felt her own emotions mirroring the pain in his voice. It was clear he loved her mom very much, he spoke with the same reverence uncle Tommy did. “I may have lost her, but I couldn’t have lived with myself if I lost you too. Well, I supposed I did, but… you were alive, you were being taken care of.” He smiled proudly. “I was furious with Tommy, but I knew he’d care for you. And he did. Grew up strong, just like your mama.” 

“They wh-y” Ellie hated how her voice croaked, how she choked up at the hurt of being left behind. She was supposed to be better than this, stronger… “Why did you leave me?”

The sadness flodded his face again. “Oh baby girl, I never meant to… Tommy he…” Joel hesitated, opening and closing his mouth like he was trying to find the right words.

“He what?!” She pleaded for answers, she needed to know, she needed to understand how much of her life was a lie.

“I was trying to find a better way to phrase this but… He took you, Ellie June. Said I wasn’t fit to raise you, and fucking took you. Only gotta hold you once, and he left… I couldn’t do anything about it, I had just lost your mom minutes ago, I just…  I was so broken down, I felt like a failure of a father, a husband, I couldn’t protect the two of you… I was afraid I’d lose you like Sarah.”

You had been told about Sarah, his daughter, Tommy’s other niece, your older sister you never got to meet that died on outbreak day. Every September 26th, Uncle Tommy spends the day alone. “Uncle Tommy just… took me?” Tear were in her eyes now, threatening to spill over, but she refused to allow it.

“Yeah, he did, but I don’t want you blame’n him, he was doing what he thought was best for your, for your moms memory. They were good friends… He didn’t think an old raider was fit to raise a little girl.”

“But he was a raider!” Ellie shouted, everything was confusing, her head hurt, her heart ached as she felt core things she knew slipping away. The man she loved the most in this entire world had lied to her about the most fundamental aspect of her identify and existence and now nothing made sense. She didn’t know who to trust if she could trust her uncles. She couldn’t trust Maura or June. The only person she trusted in this moment was the man she just met.

“I know, I know. But he did good, took you here to Jackson… Honestly thought he’d raise you with Maria, but that didn’t pan out.”

You know Tommy used to be involved with the town's leader, Maria, simply stating it ‘didn’t work out’, but you now wondered if there were other factors. Maria had always been kind to you, either way. 

“Uncle Zach, Uncle Lorenzo, Aunt June and Maura… what about them?”

“Lorenzo was on my team.”

Renzo was a raider? He definitely was more believable than Tommy. Uncle Lorenzo was a ‘spitfire’ as Uncle Zach would say… but her uncle was so kind, so fun loving, so down to earth… she couldn’t imagine him like that either. “Was Uncle Zach?”

Joel denied that, and Ellie let go of a breath. Zach was someone with very strong morals, strong will. He knew what he thought was right and wrong and stuck by it, which Ellie found admirable. If Zach was a raider, nothing would be left in his world that would make sense to her.

“Lorenzo met Zach through her, they hit it off, been inseparable ever since. Heard Zach took his last name? They get married or something?”

Ellie confirmed this, making Joel hum. “Good for them. I’m glad they were there for you, baby girl.”

“Aunt June and Maura?” Ellie pressed on. She needed to know everything, who knew what, what happened, how much each individual person lied to her…

“June was your moms friend back when lived on your grandpa’s farm. Jack was one of my men, and when your mom was pregnant with you, he brought Maura to be the midwife. Maura eventually met June and I suppose they got together at some point. If I’m being honest, I didn’t know them very well, just that your mom wanted your middle name to be June.”

If I’m being honest.

Nothing made sense anymore. Her dad was alive. Tommy essentially kidnapped her. Her dad was a raider. Tommy was a raider. Renzo was a raider. Hell, fucking Jack, her distant relative she’d only met twice was a raider and even that was enough to cause her to feel nauseous. She was furious, she was confused, she had to be wrong…

If I’m being honest.

“No” Ellie whispered, shaking her head. Why would she believe a stranger above the men who raised her? Above Tommy? Tommy, who had always done right by her, always been good, so, so good… how could she think he was capable of all Joel accused him of. “No. Fuck you! I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!” Screaming, Ellie turned around and dashed back towards the house, not stopping as Joel called to her, the pain and hurt clear in his voice as he begged and pleaded for her to stay… but she couldn’t.

Ellie made it back before sunup, staying up the rest of the night with eyes wide open, thinking… it was wrong, it was all wrong. He had to be lying, he had to be fucking with her… but how did he know who she was? How did he know her full name? No one ever called her Ellie June…

“Hey honey bun” Tommy called her by her nickname as she trotted downstairs. Tommy said he always called her mom ‘Honey’, so it seemed fitting that you liked honey buns so much as a kid. The name stuck. “You’re up early.”

“Meeting up with Dina” Ellie couldn’t tell Dina what happened last night… but any time Ellie saw her, she felt better.

“Alright, can I get you to stay for breakfast? I made your favorite. I feel like I never get a chance to talk to you anymore, always wanna hang out with your cooler uncle who lets you do dangerous things.” He lamented, but his tone was joking.

Ellie agreed, sitting down at the table as she watched her beloved uncle make her breakfast, eventually setting a plate, making a terrible joke about ‘honey buns for my honey bun’ that he made every time. They talked, like they always did, like it was easy to. Tommy was easy going like that. Outside of him being her family, Ellie really did enjoy being around him. This, this was right. Tommy wouldn’t lie. Tommy isn’t a raider. Tommy wouldn’t steal his niece. Tommy was good.

“Uncle Tommy?”

“Si, Ellie belly?”

“I’ve been thinking a lot… about my parents.”

Ellie watched as his face fell, sadness and pain in his eyes. “What about? Anything specific?”

She decided to test the waters. “I’ve just… been dreaming a lot lately, having a bunch of dreams my dad is alive.”

It was a spit second. It was barely there. She wouldn’t even notice if she hadn’t been looking.

But Tommy looked like he got caught, right before reverting back to his normal self. “I’m sorry, Ellie. I wish he was alive as much as you do. Your dad was a good man, and a good brother. I miss him every day.”

Just then, Ellie realized Joel was telling the truth, or at the very least Tommy was lying.

***************

THE GANG IS BACK!!!!

Someone too my shift tomorrow and I have the forth off so I think I can actually get the alt ending out this week!!! Im sorry its taking forever but I wanted this out first so that when I put the alt ending, I can let everyone know the canon story is continuing for 5 chapters with Ellie 16 years later.

I really hope you guys enjoy this, I know it wont be nearly as popular but genuinely I think this will be a good story and tie more things up.

I love you all, Thank you so much for all the support you've given.

Remember, reblogs are the only way this gets spread and while likes are lovely, they don't help it come to other people unlike other social media. Comments keep me writing and mean the entire world to me.

Comment to be added to the tag list!

@maura-honey @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @the-fox-den @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @koshkaj-blog @primosworld

[abbysthighs]

*Awkward chuckling*

[lauronk]

How about ⌛️ and 🖊 for wip #1?

⌛️- how long have you been working on this wip?

google doc says it was created feb 28, but i’m pretty sure i was working on it before that? so let’s just say since the beginning of the year

🖊️- describe your wip in a single, terrible sentence

uncle/niece road trip to delusional freedom fighters, father displeased as fuck

the asks

[boopernatural]

mmm I keep imagining something happening to both Tommy and Ellie and the two of them having to see each other to calm down. like Ellie wakes in a cold sweat and HAS to find Tommy before she spirals. she just marches on over to his place at like 3 in the morning, pounding on the door (or just letting herself in lmao), and wakes everyone in that house up. and Tommy can be more level-headed about it, he freaks out, walks over to their house, sees her passed out on Joel's lap, and he's fine because she's fine. like, they'd still get comfort from their people (Joel and Maria, respectively) but they HAVE to make sure the other's okay

awwww this is so sweet I love this!!!

The uncle niece bond makes me 💜💜

[ebdaydreamer]

oliver has been in basically every interview for ages practically saying nothing, and here is ryan 'we read your fic' guzman and lou 'i was supposed to kiss eddie' ferrigno jr

[moonxnite]

Yeah my life might be complicated but at least me and [fictional character] are living our best lives right now.

[starlitscars]

Made of ice

Jackson era! Joel Miller x F! Reader

Summary: One stormy night in the safety of Wyoming, it occurs to Joel that even though life has turned his heart into a slab of ice, there's a soft, melting spot buried deep inside... Only reserved for you.

Word count: 5.2k

Masterlist

Tags/warnings: MDNI, NSFW, implied age gap, canon-typical violence, Joel Miller needs his own warning, protective! Joel, soft! Joel, angst, fluff, smut, finger sucking, fingering, pet names, praise kink, language, no use of y/n, soft dom! Joel, negative thoughts, dea*h wish, self-doubt, self-confidence issues, Joel is a sweetheart here (but he doesn't think he's worthy of peace), rain, lots of rain, lightning, stormy weather, kinda established relationship, let me know if a tag has gone unnoticed.

Author's note: This is my very first attempt at writing for Joel Miller. I've had the idea in my mind for a few weeks now and it's hard to resist when it comes to him (did I say Pedro Pascal?) So I hope the details are accurate and if you decide to read this one shot, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did while writing it. If you want to be mutuals, I'll be more than glad <3

Divider by: saradika-graphics

Made of ice

You should've seen what you made of him.

The calm, slow beats in his chest are strikingly different from how he remembers them. In fact, he vaguely recalls the way those racing, dreadful patterns had carved themselves into his memory. With a rigid heart made of ice, it was nearly impossible to find the pulse in him, even at his most frightened, disappointed state. 

Joel used to walk into the face of danger with a rifle clutched in his dying grip, a life to save and thousands to destroy, and in all those moments any sign of life was nonexistent in him. There used to be rage, hatred, regret, and frustration... Oh lots of frustration, running through the veins in his body. He used to walk, talk, and breathe. But he wasn't alive.

Now he doesn't find it in himself to call it miracle. But somewhere between the lines, you happened. You happened and fuelled the dying fire in the far corner of his heart. He used to keep it empty and dark, like a deserted house with no furniture, a perfect place for the noises in his head to become loud and maybe help him stand the never-ending days of what everyone called life. 

You entered his life and now most of what he feels in these old veins is warmth, safety and attachment. Yes, he doesn't call it miracle, because his past doings are too  stained and unforgivable to deserve a miracle. To deserve you. The real miracle. The fathomable idea of what it feels to be alive.

Joel feels alive.

Some days, it feels like his wretched past is clawing its way back into his mind, calling those demons to end his days of peace with you. Some nights, he's restless... So terribly restless. What if you get injured on your next patrol? What if the Raiders attack you when you're out of the gates of Jackson? What if something bad happens to you the moment his eyes close? What if these damn what ifs come to life? This old mind tricks him into seeing pictures of what has never happened and probably never will. You always assure him that you'll be careful. He trusts you and your abilities, but he does not trust his fears. Because if life is too good, it scares him. 

It scares Joel Miller, way more than it would if he was trapped in a dark room with all of his fears and demons creeping on the cold hard floor towards him. He'd rather spend every day fighting off the Clickers and Raiders and every nasty threat out there, instead of pacing around the room and waiting to see if your patrols end well or not.

So he has no choice but to either convince Tommy to pick him as your patrol partner every damn time you have to do it – which he makes sure is as limited as possible – or occasionally keep an eye on you from a distance and let his thoughts consume him at the same time. Just like what he's doing now. 

His persistence in being close to you tends to earn him annoyed eye rolls and "She's more capable than that, Joel." comments from his brother... almost all the time. But he simply can't help it, and he thinks that you know it. Because you never complain nor haul him over the coals for his instincts and worries and the immense amount of care his rigid heart feels for you. He's silently thankful for that understanding.

You are safe here, he thinks. Even though he feels restless, his heartbeat has never been this calm. He sits and watches you on nights like this and there's only one thought ringing in his head. All the scolding is worth it. You're sprawled out peacefully on the bed. His bed. It must be straight out of a fucking impossible dream. You're here, in his atmosphere, in his menacing, guilty, dark presence... And you have chosen it knowingly. It's all he can ever ask for. 

The dim moonlight is swimming in through the curtains, casting a soft, silvery shadow over your face. Your hair is falling all around you like you're knowingly doing it... Posing for an artist just to paint this delicate beauty on a canva. 

Despite his bitter mood, a content smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. Tearing his gaze from you, he downs the remaining whiskey and silently places the empty glass on the table, deciding that he needs a short walk to free his troubled mind. One morning, Maria woke up and decided that Joel needs to stay behind and help Tommy in fixing the issues in the town's only library. So you should have another partner for your patrol days for god knows how long. He fucking hates being told what to do. He fought tooth and nail to prevent that, and if you weren't there to stop him, he would as well turn the mess hall into another ruin that needed to be fixed – which only meant more time away from you. 

So it's going to take only two weeks, at worst. Only a terrible fortnight before things go back to normal. It's almost unbelievable how you have managed to awaken a sense of normalcy in him that he hasn't known in decades. Your absence is an instant threat to this normal life.

Maybe it's about time he gets used to it. He's not that weak. He shouldn't let his angers and worries run him. More importantly, he shouldn't ruin your much needed sleep with his usual problems right now. You've still got the weekend. He'll take a walk and be back here before you as much as stir in your deep slumber.

Oh. The damn library.

...

Jackson is eerily quiet in the middle of the night, enveloped by darkness and as isolated as it can be in this corner of the world. It's a stark contrast to how busy the whole community is during the daylight – bustling with happy greetings, careless jokes, movie days, small parties, and lots of work to do. It all asks for social interaction and he deeply hates it.

He hates when every passer-by's attention turns to you every time you step out in the open. He hates how prying eyes rove up and down your frame every time you walk into the bar. He hates how... He shakes his head, almost rolling his eyes at the loudness of these thoughts. Joel has to remind himself that he is the one you hold onto and introduce to everyone in every social gathering. The proud gleam in your eyes always placates him. There's no need to break a jaw in this town... Perhaps.

Lights flicker by the porches and the sound of his boots on the ground is the only sound that disturbs the silence. The sky is clouding over, distantly promising another stormy night in its gloomy wake. Occasional flashes of lightning light up the road and before Joel knows it, he's passing by the Tipsy Bison. It's 3 past midnight, no wonder why its doors are locked and closed. Either way he comes to a halt, letting the gears turn in his head as he opts for a very familiar path.

Your house. It's a short walk away from the bar.

Joel still recalls that day. How long has it been? Five, six, seven months? It feels like yesterday to him.

He'd had a terrible conversation with Tommy, not at all the way he'd planned it on his first day in Jackson. Things got heated up pretty quickly, leaving a bitter taste of rejection lingering on his tongue, the burn of the whiskey only worsening his mood.

"Just because life stopped for you, doesn't mean it has to stop for me..."

The words were ringing in his head as he stormed out of the bar. Shrugging his jacket on, all he wanted was to walk as far away from that area as possible. This affronted, begrudging, irrational sting was boiling in him and in that moment he was more than ready to leave the gates of Jackson even if it called for more danger. Life had really ended for him years ago, but to hear it from Tommy right after the hell he'd went through to find him... It really hurt. 

The pain was resurfacing in rapid tides.

If his boots could dig deeper, get stuck in the snow and propel him into the cold biting blanket of the earth, he'd welcome it. If life had really ended for him, he had to make it make sense by ending himself as well. This... There was this distant melody echoing in the air and cutting through his troubles thoughts. The wind was harsh against his ears, and each step brought the melody closer. 

It really could be the last song that played before his funeral.  

Joel was surrounded by all the colors, and all he could see was white, eyes fixed on the ground. He didn't pay much attention as he bumped into someone. He barely lifted his head to apologize, and then his gaze settled on the crackling fire on the left side of the road. 

Red and orange and yellow hues. It was a fresh contrast. His eyes were hurting from all the white snow.

He came to a halt, mindlessly waving at the person he'd bumped into. A dozen of kids had gathered around the burning logs in a barrel on the porch, rubbing their hands together and listening to the same melody he was entranced by. The same melody that he thought would be his burial hymn.

Joel's eyes followed their excited faces, wondering who they were looking at. He saw you mirroring their hopeful gleams first, and then he registered the guitar on your lap. 

To make the matters worse, you had tilted your head, shooting him a funnily quizzical look. He might've looked weird back then. The town's newcomer, with a permanent scowl on his face, maybe plotting murder as well (considering that it was the main topic in all the words that already flew around about him).

He didn't answer, still dead in his tracks as if he was immobilized by some invisible force. So you shifted in your seat, silently offering him a spot among the children as if to say "You can come over and join us."

He had two choices in that moment, either a polite decline was on the table or a dismissive frown. He looked over his shoulder at the bar and finally opted for the third choice – or so his mind created another choice for him – and he nodded, joining in on your little gathering without as much as saying a word. He really wanted to hear that song.

He never asked whether you knew the words to that song, but that night when he lay in bed and his thoughts were far from the idea that he wanted to bury himself in the snow, he vaguely remembered the lyrics. And it hit him hard, like a punch to the gut.

Yeah, I don't want to hurt

There's so much in this world 

To make me bleed

Stay with me

Let's just breathe

Stay with me

You're all I see

He wanted to ignore how the words affected him in the middle of the night. It was the first night he could feel some semblance of peace, not sleeping with an eye open in case someone attacked them. Ellie was safe in another room. So he really considered that. He considered the possibility of staying. He was relatively new to the community... And so damn unaccustomed to the whole arrangement. He almost woke up the next morning and started packing before he remembered where he was.

Stay with me

Let's just breathe

Those words stuck with him.

And his first encounter with you was a harbinger of different things to come.

One day of patrolling with you led to another, one night of inviting you for a drink led to another. One peaceful afternoon in the stable led to another. One gloomy evening in the clinic did not lead to another. He was way too protective of you to let that happen again.

He truly feels lucky. You could be anywhere else, better off if you picked anyone other than this grumpy, old man. And yet you still want him. You silly girl. You've melted his heart with your warmth. 

But he's like a lake, deserted in the middle of a haunted forest and engulfed in coldness. Even though the center is warm and gooey, he keeps the surface frozen and rigid and menacing. Hard enough to keep his instincts sane and alarmed. Cold enough to let everyone know that you're his and he will not fucking share. 

Lightning strikes again in the sky.

He lifts himself up and off your front stairs with a heavy grunt. An hour has passed since he left for a walk. The clouds have fully gathered in the sky and he thinks that he should be by your side now.

Joel really cares little for the details, always asking Tommy and Ellie to spare him the explanation and get straight to the point. But with you, it's hard to forget a couple of things. One night, a few weeks ago, you were pulling him past the threshold of your house. So adorably drunk and inviting. He was still a little pissed by how the rainstorm had ruined your nightly walk. Despite your complaints about sharing a kiss in the rain, he'd dragged you back to the nearest shelter possible, because he just didn't want to get fucking soaked. Joel didn't find it romantic at all. He was frowning, still pinning you against the wall for a begrudgingly needy kiss. You giggled into his mouth, playful fingers pocking at his chest. "Come on Joel. Let yourself enjoy it... All these neverending drops on the roof, the fresh earthy scent that comes after it... It's just really beautiful. One of the few things that kept me sane before I came here..." 

He's not really against the idea. But the changing weather doesn't bode well with him. One day is sunny, and the next is rainy and it just goes to show how he has no power over the situation.

Hell. A part of Joel is really terrified of the changing weather. One day it was scorching hot, and the next his boots crunched against the white blankets of neverending snow, reprimanding him for his carelessness. Time would pass whether he wanted to or not. He is still terrified, wishing he could stretch the time he could spend with you. God knows he wants an eternity with you. 

He has seen enough rain for a lifetime. He hasn't seen you enough. How could he enjoy getting soaked in tiny drops of water when all he wanted was to bury his face in the crook of your neck and stay there for a while – maybe forever and a little more?

But he has considered it since then. If there are a few things that keep you happy and rainy days have to be one of them, he'll give you that. He'll get used to that. There's no pattern with the rainfall in here, and the weather forecast is pretty much nonexistent. He has promised himself to tell you whenever it rains, even though he despises the idea of you catching a cold after minutes or hours of dancing in the cold, letting droplets of water wash over you without a care in this wretched world. 

He also despises the idea of waking you up.

But he knows you'll like it. You careless, adorable girl. He lives to see that excited gleam in your eyes. Everytime you show it, this old heart pounds impatiently in his chest and it all feels like the first time it has happened.

He's back home in no time. 

So, kicking his boots off as silently as possible, he trudges over and settles down by the edge of the bed, suppressing a low groan. His knees still ache from all the never-ending effort he's put in repairing the library over the past few days. Jesus, he just wants it to be done as soon as possible. It feels like he's losing so much time when he's away from you. Now that you're still pretty much asleep in the same position he last saw you, all Joel wants is to lie down by your side and melt in your warm embrace instead of having to fight with his thoughts and the world to not take away yet another precious piece of him. He can't afford to even think about losing you.

Each flash of lightning illuminates the contours of your beautiful face and he can't help himself when he lifts a hand and lets his knuckles gently stroke your cheek. Your lips are parted ever so slightly and you look so innocent in your unconscious dream. He almost backs down, part of him hoping that it rains throughout the day, just so he doesn't guilt trip himself for the pout on your face if you miss it. You need to rest.

As if you sense his hesitation, you stir in bed and lean into his touch. A low hum escapes you, and Joel is too weak to deny himself the softness it brings. His wounded knuckles are soon replaced with a calloused thumb and he wonders what's so interesting about these hands that never ceases to catch your attention.

One night at the bar, Joel had caught you actually staring at them and when he teased you a little about it, you just shrugged and grinned mischievously. "I mean... I just like them so much. Your hands are always warm, and... and that's all."

He shrugged it off that night. Ellie had also considered it a flex for him to have warm hands even in the coldest days of winter, but with you and the way you looked at him... It was different. He knew it was more than that. 

And when the nights he shared with you went further than his sinful thoughts had planned, you showed him that it was more than that. It was more than the warmth you found there. If anything, your helpless whimpers were an indication of how capable and strong these hands were.

Heat blooms in his chest. It simply is endearing. The way you always seem to recognize his touch and send his head spiraling with the idea that you want him to do more. You've never been afraid of him. You've never pushed him away. You've never judged him for the horrible things he's done. Jesus, it should terrify him. Joel should've pushed you away at some point, because he knows you'd be better off without him, but how could he muster the strength to do so? Since that fateful moment on your porch, your presence keeps on inviting him for more. More than simply existing. And God, if you knew how he wants to do more than that every second of the day... Only if the world lets him breathe a little.

There's another bolt of lightning and raindrops finally begin to drum against the window pane.

Joel shakes his head to get rid of those worrisome ideas. Propping himself on one elbow, he leans over ever so slightly and lets his thumb trace its way to your chin, up to your jawline, and then back to the soft skin on your cheek. He draws circles over the blooming flush and then his thumb is traveling down to your lower lip. Your mouth parts just a little more, breathing even and content and if he gets a grip on himself, he may notice that there's a ghost of a smile in there as well.

"Baby..." He whispers softly, his gaze drifting all over your adorable face. You really are a piece of art, tangled in the sheets, in the safety of his house, and your innocent hums are doing something to him. Some obscene voice that silently pleads for more. More and more... Just to give you more. 

You stir a little more.

He leans over and places a gentle kiss on your forehead, the sweet, fruity scent he's come to like a lot about you engulfing his senses. He watches every little movement with amusement. "My sweet baby... You want to see what's waitin' for you outside."

"Joel," you mumble sleepily, voice drowsy and laced with a hint of confusion as you rub your eyes and stretch your arms before looking around the dark room with a quizzical expression on your face. It doesn't take long for the realization to hit you and the familiar gleam in your gaze makes him smile. You stare a him, wide-eyed. "is it- again?"

He chuckles and gestures at the window. "Yes, a heavy one at that."

Again, there's that hum of delight as you follow his gaze. The pitter-patter of the rain cheers you up like a lollipop would do to a child. It's maddeningly adorable.

You should be running to the backyard by now, but instead you stare at him for a while. It's his turn to be confused. Your smile gets broader by each passing second as your delicate hands trace his face and run over the salt and pepper patches of his beard. When you playfully ruffle his hair, your eyes are still droopy and dreamy and so damn kissable that he just can't help himself.

His other hand fondles with a loose strand of hair beside you on the pillow before twirling it between his fingers. You bite your lower lip and lift your head just enough for a brief peck on the tip of his nose. He chuckles, letting his fingers draw a line over the column of your neck, down to your chest, and at last they disappear beneath the sheets, settling comfortably on the warm expanse of your belly. 

Joel assumes that his presence is not too close to lock you in place, and yet not too loose to let you drift back into unconsciousness. You just have the perfect moment to escape. For goodness sake, rain is the one thing you choose over anything else. The thing you like a lot.

But you're still here, dazed eyes flickering all over his face and it just gives him a second thought. A new idea to test your patience. Seeing you still pinned under him and unmoving, was not really in his list when he decided to walk back home and wake you up. He chortles with amusement. If you want what he thinks you do, he could give you that... "Come on sweetheart, what's stoppin' you?"

His fingers drift lower, exploring the bare flesh of your thigh, right where his mouth was hours ago. Still as warm as he remembers, maybe a little bruised too. "It's all rainy outside. Ain't that what you wanted?"

"I know..." You mumble, an undertone of need sewn in your voice as you look down over the sheets that cover every movement of his hand. It's too dark for you to see anything anyway. He could easily toss the covers aside, but it's wickedly satisfying this way. "I'm- um, just feeling a little under the influence...and it's- uh, it's distracting."

His hand caresses its way to where he knows you need it the most, and you barely repress a shudder when his fingertips glide over your folds. But he barely feels you, a ghost of a touch hovering there as a smirk threatens to flicker at the corner of his mouth.

"Wonder if my hand's makin' a good influence or a bad one. What d'you say, baby?"

It pelts down steadily outside, but you don't seem to care the slightest about it. Neither does Joel. A low gasp emanates from you when his touch becomes proper, rubbing circles and spreading the slick over your clit as slow and unrushed as he physically can manage. You're still indecently wet after he'd brought you over the edge again and again before you dozed off... and the fact that some of his cum might be gathering in his hand is fueling his lewd thoughts.

You naughty girl.

"A very bad one, I see." He tuts, feeling your chest heaving up and down beneath him. It's easy to rile you up this way. Desperation is written in your expression... and he hasn't even started yet.

"She needs fixin', doesn't she?" Joel asks, bringing his movement to a sudden halt. You're too distracted by everything he does to form a coherent thought. He lifts an expectant brow, now actually waiting for an answer.

"Yes- yes Joel... need it so bad... so bad it hurts." You breathe, a helpless pout forming on your lips.

"I know baby. I know... Jus' lay down and let me take care of it, hm? How's that sound?" He demands again, but this time he doesn't give you a chance to respond as he pushes two fingers past your weeping hole, burying them knuckles deep within your warmth. You gasp at the sudden intrusion, eyelids heavy as you grasp his arm, squirming like a helpless, needy girl.

What a cruel man he is.

"Not off to a good start, angel. I know you can be more patient."

You nod quickly, biting your lip in an attempt to stop yourself from wriggling and twisting on the bed. For a split second, Joel considers pulling out to nuzzle his face between your legs and let the heat consume him. A perfect place to brave the cold, restless seasons. 

But his fingers aren't shy either. He starts with slow thrusts, effortlessly sliding in and out before picking up the pace. He makes you adjust to his rhythm, and when you let go and open up, the obscene moans and chocked out cries are all that fill the silence of the house. Jesus, he lives to hear them every day. He rewards you by curling his fingertips to hit that spot that makes you see stars.

You shudder particularly hard at that, more arousal pooling inside you and soaking his fingers. You're losing your grip with reality, and he can sende it as your legs begin to shake and your knee brushes over the denim of his jeans, but you still remember to abide by his "No squirming" rule.

You're so pliant and obedient in his hands that it does nothing but to spur Joel to give you more. And so he does.

"I like these sounds," He adds a third finger, tilting his head to whisper in your ear. "I dream about them all the time."

You whimper and tighten your hold around Joel's arm. When he feels that your orgasm is creeping impossibly close, his thumb joins and rubs rapid circles over your bundle of nerves and that's your undoing. You clench around him, walls tightening and squeezing his fingers deeper – if that's even possible – as waves of white-hot euphoria crash over your worn out body and take over your senses. Your back arches involuntarily into him. A sound between a groan and a curse escapes his throat.

"That's it. Atta girl... that's it, so fuckin' beautiful."

His touch is unrelenting as he talks you through it with a string of sweet nothings. 

Only when you come down and rest back on the bed he slowly pulls out. You're panting heavily, face flushed and heated and so effortlessly seductive that Joel is sure no fucking artist could ever capture it in words of a poem or colors of a painting. Joel is the only one to witness this moment and it swells his chest with pride. He wants to drink it in, let it run through his veins like never-ending liquor.

He lifts his hand, smirking as you gape at the way it's glistening under the dim light. You're in awe. He softly places the tips between your swollen lips and you waste no time in swirling your tongue around them, licking the slick off as if it's a delightful lollipop. And the hazy look on your face says that it's more than just a sweet treat.

His own breathing hitches when you open your mouth a little wider and take him fully in, sucking and humming and driving him absolutely crazy. He shakes his head slightly, catching the playful gleam in your gaze.

"Hm. Still a very bad influence."

When you're fully recovered and satisfied, Joel lifts you up in his arms and walks towards the backyard, chuckling at your confused expression. You give a squeal and wrap your hands around his neck to keep yourself steady, at the same time trying to gauge what his next plan would be. You really have forgotten about the rain, haven't you?

He comes to a halt, making sure the blanket he'd just picked off the bed is not leaving any part of your body uncovered. The rainstorm has eased off considerably over the past hour, but he doesn't want to risk it. Keeping you warm and safe in the cold is and will always be his top priority, no matter if his back or knees protest from how much they ache. Hell, he aches for you and that content smile on your face. Nothing beats it.

"My girl still wants to go out, hm?"

Your eyes flicker between him and the half-open door, filled with excitement and delight and a tiny flicker of doubt. "Yes Joel... but...you sure you want to join in?"

"I don't know," He feigns innocence, pretending to think for a short while before his face lights up with an idea. "Do I get a kiss for it?"

You laugh and lean up to press your lips into his in a soft, lingering kiss. It's so tender and reassuring that he has to pull back before changing his mind and taking you back to the bed.

"Then it's settled."

It has been settled for a long time.

Maybe he can get used to it. Maybe you get a better idea of what you've made of him with your presence at times when he easily complies with things that make you happy. A heart made of ice, molten enough to experience the world with you all over again. Even if he gets soaked in the rain, he's alright with it. You kiss him and all the discomfort is forgotten.

He should give it time and learn to breathe again. Learn to stay, to settle. To let you know that you're all he sees.

Yeah, I don't want to hurt

There's so much in this world 

To make me bleed

Stay with me

Let's just breathe

Stay with me

You're all I see

The words are carved in his head. He chances a glance at the living room before walking past the door. Your guitar is placed on the couch. Maybe one day he'll bring himself to play his melodies for you too. He think that he's got a lot of time for it now. He wants an eternity with you, and in this wretched world, eternity lasts as long as you'll have him.

One, two... Ten droplets fall over him. He kisses you again, harder and longer. His ice-cold heart melts just a little more at your careless laughter. Just stay with me.

[maxbegone]

OG CAST IN THE LAST OF US (HBO)

bonus laura bailey cameo:

[romana-after-dark]

Ghost of You: Finale

Ellie Miller & Joel Miller

ft. Tommy Miller, Lorenzo and Zach Aleverano

Masterlist

Summary: 16 years after her mom and dad's death, Ellie is finding her place in Jackson, being raised by her Uncle Tommy with the help of her uncle's Lorenzo and Zach. She loves them, but can't help but feel stifled. Soon, she finds out her suspicions were true, and her uncles have been lying to her. Will Ellie learn the truth? Can she trust anyone in this situation?

Takes place after The Wrong Way, but if you havn't read that series (too dark for you, too long, etc) you can read this. Since it's through Ellie's perspective, you can discover the truth alongside her.

DARK FIC! This is a dark!Joel, with canon typical violence and extra on the Joel. Anything discussed or shown in TWW is liable to be discussed here. There will be violence, but no shown sexual violence. Although this Joel is very dark, he is NOT DARK TO ELLIE. None of the things that happened to Ellie's mom are applicable to Ellie, but will be discussed.

Content warnings for entire series, not chapter by chapter unless more is added.

Talk/mentions/discussions of post rape, molestation, torture, violence, branding, forced breeding, major age gap (early 20's to later 40's), death. Child endangerment, major character death, murder, homophobic remarks, minor hate crime, manipulation, identity crisis.

This is it. It's bad, I cried tbh.

**************

Lorenzo was pacing. Zach and Tommy were arguing.

Ellie had never really picked up on tension between the two, if anything occasionally Lorenzo was the one to make a comment, but after Lorenzo’s account of her origins, it seemed like Zach held some anger towards Tommy for not saving her mom.

“I told you!” Zach shouts as Ellie stands to the side of the kitchen. “I fucking told you we should’ve killed him years ago!”

Tommy wasn’t convinced. “That man is absolutely insane! He’s goddamn Micheal Myers when he’s out to kill, there’s no way we’d make it out alive!” 

“You just don’t want him dead because he’s your brother, but how many girls has he raped and totured the last 16 years! That is blood on your hands!” The comments about the girls Joel potentially victimized hangs in the air as all three of her uncles turn to a shaking, crying, Ellie. It was Zach, of course, that approached her, hesitantly placing hands on her shoulders. “Elles… Answer me honestly sweetheart. Did Joel… did he touch you.”

Tearfully, Ellie shook her head. “N-no.”

Lorenzo spoke for the first time in a while, big brown eyes pleading with her for honesty  as the floor cracked along with his gentle step forward. “It wouldn’t be your fault if he did, Ellie belly.”

Tommy placed a hand on her wet face, coaxing her to look at him. “He’s right, honeybun. Even if you didn’t fight, no matter what the circumstances, we’d never blame you, okay? Nothing you could do would make that your fault.”

Ellie swore to them, no, Joel didn’t touch her. She knew how her uncles felt on the subject, never shying away from ‘the talk’ which revolved more around consent than anything.Granted, despite her uncles and uncles being gay, the discussion was surprisingly straight. Old habits and phrasing die hard. She knew that if anyone touched her without her consent she could come to them, and they would handle it. “I told you the worst of it.” Ellie had broken down, telling Tommy about Joel, Jack, and watching the old farmer die, and Tommy had quickly called over Zach and Lorenzo to discuss the next steps.

“Ellie…” Lorenzo began. “What did you guys… do? All summer, I mean. He’s not really a hang out kinda guy”

Ellie shrugged a little, a tad defensive. “I mean… like I told Tommy, he- he wanted me to take over so we would… we spent a lot of time patrolling but we… we fished, and talked and he would cook for me…”

Rolling his eyes, Zach scoffed. “He sure does like to play dad.”

For whatever reason, that didn’t sit right with Ellie. “But he is my dad! I’m not fucking stupid, Zach, and none of this would have happened if you hadn’t all lied to me! He’s my dad and I wanted to get to know him, I just… I didn’t think it was… that he was…” She choked back a sob, hating this disgusting display of vulnerability.

Tommy looked at her, knowingly. “You didn’t think he was capable of all that, did you?” He waited for her to shake her head before continuing. “He’s good at that, you know. I get it. I do. Joel knows how to manipulate. But I also think he loved you, honeybun” Tommy ignored Zach’s scoff in the background, saying the bastard wasn’t capable of love. “I do, it’s hard not to love you, you know?” Smiling softly, Tommy held her gaze. “But everything Lorenzo told you is true, Ellie. I ain’t ly’n to yuh anymore. After all this settles, anything you wanna know about my life before, about your dad, our childhood, being raiders, me and your mom, all of it. Anything you wanna know, it’s yours, the good and the bad. And I know it’s gonna take a long time before you trust me, if you ever do, but I swear to you, I will never lie again… including if I ate the last honeybun”

Ellie gave a soft chuckle, but Zach was back to business. “Elles, does he still live in the old house?”

She nodded. “Yeah, we went out there a lot…” Turning, she faced Lorenzo. “He showed me my moms grave-” Ellie was interrupted by a loud ‘FUCK’ from Zach, whipping her had over to get her uncles palms to his eyes, Lorenzo rushing over to hold him.

“I knew it!” He groaned loudly. “I knew that fucker had her. God knows what depraved shit he did with her body before he buried her!” Sometimes, Ellie forgets that her mom was Zach's biological sister, not just someone he loved. That was family, someone Zach had taken care of for 20 years and feels like he failed.

Ellie watched as Zach cried, held tightly by Lorenzo. For perhaps the first time, Ellie realized how her moms life and death wasn’t just something that affected her, it didn’t exist in a vacuum. Her uncle, her aunts, they all were in pain, only worsened by the fact Jack was dead now, a loss they all felt. Ellie had been privileged, she realized, to not have had the life the others had. It wasn’t just her mom, who all she had known was violence and sexual abuse from men around her, including those she was meant to trust, her only respite being Tommy, Zach, June, Lorenzo, and the little bits of Joel when he deigned to be kind, but the others too. 

Tommy, who had to be practically raised by his older brother after growing up with no money, two parents who worked multiple jobs, Tommy, who joined the military at young age, join the fireflies, joined Joel and saw all the horrors life can give one man, who watched his niece dye in his brothers arms and watched his brother depend into madness. Lorenzo, who grew up poor, watching his sisters get used by shitty men, most of them getting pregnant before leaving high school. Lorenzo, whose ex-wife and every sister and every single niece and nephew had died in the fallout of the outbreak, leaving a man who had only ever known a big, loving family all alone. Zach, who was beaten his whole childhood and tried to protect his sister and her best friend when no one else would, who was shot trying to save her, who lived with the guilt eating at him for his baby sister’s death for 16 years.

“I should’ve fucking done it.” Tommy mumbled, the remorse clear in his voice. “I had the gun pointed him that day and I don’t fucking know why-”

“He’s your brother,” Lorenzo interrupted, still holding Zach. “I can’t say I get it, but I can’t say I understand a lot that’s happened with Joel. He had a hold on both of-”

Tommy wasn’t having it. “But he killed her!” He was shouting at no one but himself. “He killed her and now he’s got my daughter wrapped up in his bullshit, traumatized her, and messed up her head just like her mom.”

Ellie broke through the voices. “It’s not like that!” Every turned towards her. “It wasn’t all bad stuff, he was… he was my dad, he did normal dad stuff like fishing and telling me to go to bed and eat my vegetables, just like you guys do!” Ellie didn’t know why she felt defensive of him, but it was almost biological, the primal urge to protect family. It wasn’t always like this. It wasn’t always violence and murder and manipulation. He was her dad. “He didn’t just walk up one day and shoot someone in front of me, I’m not that fucking stupid!”

“Elles,” Zach began. “We don’t think you’re-”

“He took care of me! He gave me clothes and books and he sang while I played piano, he was a dad first and then, and then, and then, and THEN the other stuff started and it was confusing! It was confusing because I wanted to be strong and make him proud but I was scared! I don’t wanna kill innocent people!”

Zach left his husband’s arms to take Ellie in his as a fresh bout of tears began. She was so confused, so frustrated with herself and everyone around her and she was terrified out of her goddamn mind.

But Lorenzo caught something the others didn’t. “Wait… where did you play piano? Were you at our house?” Piano’s were a rare commodity, Lorenzo getting one from Zach by likely less than Maria-approved methods. 

Shaking her head vigorously, Ellie denied that. “No, we never came to Jackson. It was at the house, I told you we went there, remember?”

“What is it, Ren?”

Lorenzo turned to Tommy. “I don’t remember no piano there. Joel don’t play, does he?”

Tommy confirmed no, his face giving away that he had the realization that Lorenzo had come to. “Only guitar and mandolin.”

Looking back and forth between the two who were having a silent conversation Ellie was growing frustrated. “What are you guys talking about now? Joel said my mom played piano, didn’t she?”

“No, I did.” Zach stood up, facing Tommy. “I tried to teach her like I did you, but she really had no interest.”

“But he said… He said Red River Valley was her favorite. He’d sing it while I played…”

Zach groaned again, griping at his hair. “It was her favorite. But I’d play, she’d sing…”

“She used to sing it while Joel played…” Lorenzo recounted his memory of one of the less disturbing things he heard in the thin walls of that house.

“I can’t have a single memory of her that isn’t tainted by him, can I?”

But Lorenzo was onto something more. “Guys, you know what this means right? Joel knows Ellie can play piano, he got a piano for her… that means he’s been watching her, and pretty in depth…”

Ellie watched as anger filled Zach’s face.

“What? No way he could get in here without someone seeing him. Does he have someone spying?”

“I don’t know”

“He’s gotta right?”

“Who would betray Maria like that? Even Seth respects her too much.”

“Well, it’s gotta be someone, because theres no other way for him to know she plays piano, right?”

The silence was long an uncomfortable before the married couple and Ellie turned to a very guilty looking Tommy.

“Tom. Something you wanna tell us?” 

He looked to be hesitating, like he wanted to lie, cover his tracks, but when he locked eyes with Ellie… he seemed to remember his promise. No more. Lies. “I might have… I might have seen him a few times.”

The room erupted in argument, Zach screaming “YOU’RE SO GODDAMN PATHETIC TOMMY!”

“He’s my brother and that’s his daughter! He cornered me and wanted to know how she was doing!”

Joel found Tommy and asked about her? Tommy saw her dad and didn’t say anything?

Lorenzo lost his cool. “You told a psychopath intimate details about my niece?! How many times did you see him!”

He hesitated again, but eventually admitted to seeing him about every year. Tommy would never search him out, it was always Joel finding him and they’d talk for a bit. Tommy would tell him how she was doing in school, her personality, likes and dislikes. That’s how Ellie found out her favorite joke book came from dad way back when she was 8. Her three uncles arguing with each other about the severity of Tommy’s betrayal, what they needed to do next, repeating over and over again all the times they should’ve killed him, should’ve should’ve should’ve… should’ve killed her dad, a murderer, a rapist, a cruel, disgusting human being who had treated her so tenderly and yet for a year, made her moms life hell

Ellie couldn’t take it anymore, the lights were too bright in her burning eyes, her head hurt from the crying, the long day, the arguing… so much had happened in the last few months, few days, few hours… and many accusations that Joel had no chance to refute. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe her uncles anymore, she did. She believed the horrific details of what her mother endured, the circumstances surrounding her premature birth, the things her uncles witnessed and suffered at the hands of the man who made her, but she needed to hear it from Joel. She needed to hear his side. There was no excuse for what happened, but this was the man she came from, and she needed to know his side of the sordid history she’d been unraveling piece, by piece, by piece… 

“Dad?” Ellie called him from the walkie talkie in her room that he had given her that second day. “Can you come? It’s an emergency.”

It wasn’t long before Joel was just outside of Jackson, Ellie running to meet him. He held out his hands, the worried expression clear even in the lack of artificial light. “What’s wrong baby girl?” 

Ellie, despite her better judgment, ran into Joel’s arms. It might be her last chance to, after all.

“What’s wrong?” He repeated. “Tommy do something? Seth? You need me to take care of-”

“No!” Ellie quickly refuted the idea that Joel needed to take care of anything. She’d seen what that meant for anyone who crossed him. She stepped back out of his arms.

“Then what’s going on? Do you wanna move in?” There’s a glimmer of hope so prominent Ellie almost said yes because she couldn’t bear to watch that shine crumble… Almost.

“Dad, I need to talk to you and… it’s important that you listen to me.” She fought the urge to wring her hands, tap her feet, fidget in any way. This was important, and Joel needed to see her as an adult about it, not a child.

He nodded. “I’m listening, Ellie June. Whatever it is, I’m listening.”

Ellie took a deep breath. It was now or never, it was now that she needed to tell Joel, shatter the bubble they’d been living in, end the relationships he had with her father after only a few months. “They told me, Joel. Lorenzo did anyway.”She watched his face shift, realization dawning upon him but not daring to confirm anything lest he be wrong. “About my mom-”

“He’s lying. Always has. He’s a slimy, lying fucker who-”

“No he isn’t!” Ellie yelled, perhaps too loud and too close to town.

Joel took a step forward, reaching for Ellie’s shoulder. “You don’t know him, Ellie, you’re too young, you don’t know what he’s really like, what any of them are really like-”

“STOP DOING THAT!” It was a scream now, backing away from the man who towered nearly a foot taller than the short girl. “Stop telling me I’m wrong, and I’m too young and I’m too inexperienced! Stop making me doubt myself!” She took a few calming breaths, watching Joel watch her. “I know they’ve done things in the past, bad things, but Uncle Lorenzo is not slimy, and he’s not lying. None of them are.”

“I don’t know what they told you-”

“I think you do.”

Joel and her were in a standoff now, largely silent as she watched Joel process the change and no doubt assess his next steps. If he was what Lorenzo claimed, he managed to make her mom fall in love with him despite the horrors. He knew all that and Tommy still held loyalty to him, still telling Joel parts of her life knowing he was the rapist of someone not much older than she was now. 

He took a breath. “Ellie June, it’s not like what they’re telling you” Another step forward.

She tried to move back, but tree bark scratch at the skin exposed by her tank top. “And just what are they telling me?”

“They're telling you I kidnapped her, aren’t they? That I raped her, beat her, tortured her, tried to kill her. That’s not exactly true.”

Ellie couldn’t help but scoff at that. “Not exactly? Joel, there is no good version of that!”

“What I said was true. Her dad was a damn bastard, offered her up to me for sex, selling her virginity. And I took her-”

“What the fuck-”

“TO SAVE HER, SARAH! You don’t understand, you can’t possibly understand-”

“What did you just call me-”

“It was better, I took care of her, I gave her a home, she had Tommy, she had Lorenzo, she had safety” Another step, Joel placing both of his large hands on either side of Ellie’s face. “And all she had to do was give me you, give me you, my precious baby girl. All she had to do was give me my daughter back, and she did.” All Ellie could manage was a whispered ‘what?’ as Joel stroked her cheek. “She gave me you, and now we get to have the life we were robbed of by this damn infection, we get to be a family again.”

“No” A small cry from her lips as her eyes filled with tears again. He didn’t want her. He didn’t love her. He loved Sarah. “I don’t want this, dad, please”

“I know it’s confusing right now, but I promise you, everything is gonna be okay, you’re gonna be okay, I’m gonna get you somewhere safe.”

“Joel-”

“I know, I know I know I know I know. But I’m sorry for what I’m about to do, okay?” Joel touched his forehead to hers, eyes closed shut.

“Dad, please stop-”

“I’m sorry, babygirl, I’m gonna make this better soon.” His forehead was replaced by the barrel of a gun. “Come out where I can see you Tommy.”

Ellie was frozen, back pressed against a tree as the cool end of the gun warmed to her skin. Slowly, Ellie watched as Tommy, Lorenzo and Zach came into the clearing from different sides, guns raised, the crackle of sticks and the forest floor tracked their footsteps where Ellie was unable to keep place. She wanted nothing more than to run into their arms, but she was stuck. She didn’t know how far Joel’s madness ran, and if she was just a replacement for Sarah, that meant she was replaceable herself.

“Let her go, Joel” Zach spoke first, but Joel was having none of it.

“You shut the fuck up, Zach. You couldn’t even protect that little girl when she was being molested, you sure as fuck can’t protect Ellie.”

“You don’t know a goddamn thing about what happened there-”

“And you don’t know a goddamn thing about what happened between me and her mom so how about you just shut the fuck up!” His gun swung to point at Tommy as his brother took a step forward.

“You’re right Joel, but I do. I was there, so was Lorenzo. We saw what you did to her. Ellie don’t deserve a life like that.”

Joel glared at the insinuation. “I would never hurt my daughter. Give me your guns.”

Lorenzo scoffed. “No goddamn way”

“Kick your guns over or I start blasting off Ellie’s fingers, how about that? You think I’d hurt my baby girl? Let’s test that theory.”

To her own disgust, Ellie whimpered, the thought of this insane man before her shooting off her fingers one by one…

“Ellie, look at me baby” Tommy’s soothing voice coaxed her back to reality. “We ain’t letting nothing happen to you, honey. I promise.”

She trusted Tommy. Tommy would make things better. He always did.

Zach’s angry tone made her eyes flick over to him, chastising Tommy as he lay down his gun. “What the fuck are you doing, Tom?”

“Just go along with him for now.”

“No way am I-!” But Zach stopped at the sound of his husband calling his name.

“Baby, just hand it over. It’s gonna be okay, we'll fix it.”

Lorenzo always calmed Zach the way Zach calmed her.

The three men kicked over their guns to where Joel stood, Joel picking them all up before he lowered the gun that was pressed to Ellie’s head. She was too scared to move, Joel stepping in front of her. 

“I’m sorry, Tommy. I didn’t want it to be like this, but you took my baby from me. Now I’m taking her from you”

Tommy left an exasperated sigh. “Why don’t you ask her where she wants to go, Joel.”

“She’s just a kid, she don’t know what’s best for her.”

Lorenzo interrupted them, brutally honest as always. “And you do? Joel you are literally insane, you spent a year raping and abusing that girl-”

“She was my WIFE!”

“SHE WAS YOUR CHILD BRIDE!” 

Joel laughed, loud and cruel and unlike anything Ellie had heard from him before, but from the look on her uncle’s faces they were not surprised. “And Tommy was so much better? He’s only 7 years younger than me. A 20 year old and a 38 year old ain’t exactly clean itself.”

Much smaller than she’d like, Ellie’s voice peaked from behind Joel. “W-what?”

Joel turned slightly to face her. “Oooooooh, they didn’t tell you that part?” He was condescending, and she’d be lying if she said it didn’t hurt. She didn’t like being treated like a child, and she though Joel was someone who wouldn’t…

“Elles, don’t listen to him-”

“It wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies. Your mom cheated on me with my own goddamn brother, Ellie June.”

Ellie’s eyes flicked to Tommy’s, and the look on his face… she didn’t need to ask if that was true.

“Ellie, it wasn’t like that honeybun. She was scared, she asked me, she wanted-”

“Tom, stop, you aren’t helping” Zach’s voice was bitter, an unfamiliar tone to Ellie and she suddenly felt guilt. Everything was falling apart, her family, her uncles, her life. The second identity crisis in one summer and she felt like she was coming undone, unable to keep up with all the twists. She almost wanted to go back to not knowing, just to get her family back… but she also knew ignorance would not help her.

It was dark out, cold, the weather cooling for a Wyoming winter, the only kind of winter Ellie had ever known. Tommy was in his signature denim on denim, a noticeable blue under the moon light above them. This had to end, this had to end somehow, and soon. She couldn’t keep watching this, standing helpless to the side.

“You guys know he fucked her the night before she died too?” Joel sneered. “You stole my wife then you fucked her on a cold floor, 8 months pregnant, that’s probably why Ellie was premature!”

Lorenzo lost his patience with Tommy. “Oh for FUCKS SAKE TOMMY!” He shouted, apparently being done mediating between Tommy and Zach. “What the fuck is wrong with you!”

Tommy, for his part, was trying to keep calm with his eyes closed and voice steady. “It’s not like he’s framing it, I loved her-”

“Joel said he loved her too”

“I’m not like Joel!”

“You sure didn’t do much stop him!”

Ellie watched Tommy and Lorenzo go at it when she heard something she never thought she would. Zach making a dig at Lorenzo.

“Oh, and you did?”

For a moment, Zach paused, letting the words roll off his back before turning to Zach. “Excuse the fuck outta me?”

Zach’s tone was accusatory, pointing a finger at his lover as if his sister's abuser wasn’t right there, watching the men who had come together united for Ellie fall apart at his prodding. “You didn’t get her out either!”

“I literally took her away!”

“After he almost killed her! After she was pregnant from rape! After the worst psychological abuse I can imagine!”

Tommy came to Lorenzo’s defense, or, moreso ready to make a get at Zach. “I’m sorry, but who was it that let her get molested and mouth raped by random men?”

“And now you’re using Joel’s talking points?” 

Ellie watched Joel watching her uncles, smirking as the trio who were once a coopt in the effort of raising her disintegrate, falling apart at the seams after just a small tug of their thread by Joel. He was good at what he did, manipulating people, manipulating relationships, twisting everyone's minds up in just the way he wanted… it was no wonder Tommy was incapable of killing him (and he was, Ellie thought, incapable of doing it). She wanted this to end, needed it to before their relationships became irreparable, before she could never have a semblance of a life like she had filled with love and affection and fun and family. She needed to do something before Joel took her, before Joel killed one or two or all of them, before the killing started a psychotic break and he killed June and Maura or came to Jackson or-

Her jackknife was in Joel’s neck before she realized what was happening.

Red splattered from his neck with the initial impact, getting on Ellie’s face but not much considering her head barely reached his shoulder.

“JOEL!” Tommy screamed, running to his brother as Ellie stumbled back, taking the knife out with her.

She caught the look of horror on Tommy and Zach’s face. “He was reaching for his gun! He was going to shoot-”

“Sarah” 

Joel’s broken and choked voice croaked from Ellie’s feet, Tommy desperately trying to stop the bleeding as Ellie.

“C’mon Joel don’t do this.”

This would have implications later on, Lorenzo and Zach watching on with confusion as Tommy tried to save Joel… but they didn’t get it. They never would. They would never understand what it’s like to love and be loved by him. It was a disease, a cancer that eats away at you until it becomes on with your being, impossible to separate. Only death in death.

“It’s okay baby, we’re safe, we’re safe” Joel muttered, not really looking at anything in particular as Tommy held him. Ellie took a few steps forward, Zach telling her to stop, moving to stop her himself but Lorenzo holding him back. Lorenzo may not get it, but he understands the pull, the deep wound that Joel caused. He knew Ellie needed this. This was between Joel, Ellie and Tommy. Lorenzo and Zach were merely players in the sick game. She knelt by his side, hand on his clean shoulder and upper chest. Joel was her dad, despite it all.

Joel spoke again. “We’re not sick…. We're gonna get you to safety and go back for him, okay?”

Ellie looked to Tommy for clarification, but Tommy shook his head. “I don’t… I don’t know what he’s talking about.” He held his big brothers wound, attempting in vein to keep the blood in.

“Please don’t… Sarah? Move… move your hands baby”

Ellie dropped her hands away, but Tommy shook his head. “He’s not talking to you… he’s talking to Sarah” The realization hit Tommy, and he watched in pain as Joel died in his arms.

“He thinks I’m Sarah.”

“No, he- I know mija, I know, I- He’s reliving Sarah’s death…” Tommy’s eyes welled up with tears, the anguish clear on Joel’s face as he was forced to exist once more in the hardest moment of his life, the moment he likely lost himself completely, the moment that made him who he was.

“I know, baby! I know it hurt, come on baby! Please! I know, baby! I know.”

“Dad-” Ellie reached out again for Joel, this time her hands on his face.

“Ellie, maybe don’t…” But Tommy made no real effort to stop her. 

“I know, I know, I know. Please babygirl, don't do this to me.”

“Tom.” Zach voice was soft, sympathetic to the plight of the pair before. Despite the previous argument and the issue’s they’d had, it was clear Zach felt for Tommy, having spent the better part of two decades raising a little girl together with Lorenzo and having lost a sibling himself. “He’s bleeding out slowly, but he's bleeding out. It’s best just to… end it.”

“Don't do this to me, baby. Come on...N-no. No...don't...please. Please. Please. Please don't do this to me.”

Tommy looked at Zach, then Lorenzo, then Ellie. “I- I can’t. I couldn’t do it before, I couldn’t do it for it her I c-can’t!” Tommy’s voice broke, cracking at the last word. “I know I’m weak, Ellie. I know. I couldn’t stand up to him, I couldn’t protect her, I could protect you-”

Joel continued mumbling to ‘Sarah’ telling her it’d be okay, he’s taking her somewhere safe, he’ll come back for uncle Tommy, please’s and don’t do this to me, occasionally reverting back to the “We’re not sick!”

“Tommy” Ellie reached out for her uncle's hand, covered in her dads blood, blood she spilled. Tommy looked up at her, reduced to tears, he looked so young, so vulnerable… she wanted to stop his pain, but she couldn’t. “We have to do this.” Ellie pulled Tommy’s hand back with her, pressing her knife into it, the knife that used to belong to Joel. “We’ll do it together, okay.”

“Ellie, no, this shouldn’t be on you, you don’t have to-”

“I want to.” It seemed only right, for them to be the ones to do it, to end it all.

With one hand on the knife, her other found Joel’s face. “Dad? Dad, I’m here okay?”

Suddenly, Joel’s eyes found Ellie’s, wide and scared and sad and so, so human. “Sarah?”

Ellie smiled. “Yeah, it’s Sarah. Uncle Tommy brought me to safety. We’re okay. Everything’s okay.”

“T-Tommy?” His breath was growing ragged, heavy and unsteady as his words began to slur. 

Tommy’s calloused hand held Joel’s, together as they had always been. A bond no one could understand, not even Tommy. “I’m here, Joel. Everything’s okay. They stopped the virus, we’re safe, everyone is safe now.”

“You can rest, dad” Ellie coaxed him down. “Close your eyes, dad. It’s okay. We’re safe. Uncle Tommy’s gonna take care of me, just rest.”

Ellie saw Joel squeezing Tommy’s hand. “O-okay. Yeah. Just… just a little rest.”

“Just a little rest, Joel. Then we’ll all be together again, okay? You me and Sarah.” 

Joel nodded, small and weak and barely there as he closed his eyes. Together, Ellie and Tommy sliced through his throat, ending Joel’s 3 decade reign of terror and a splash of blood.

When Ellie fell back, beginning to sob, she found herself caught in Lorenzo’s arms and turned into him, allowing him to comfort her the way he had been trying to. After a moment, Lorenzo coaxed her up, Zach on the other side of the dead body helping a shaky Tommy stand.

Ellie continued to cry quietly looking at her dad, a relationship that came and shifted and changed and left so many times and so fast that she could barely keep up. He was a horrible person, someone she should despise… and she did, to some respect… but there was another side to Joel, a dad who lost his daughter, the most precious thing in his life… and was never the same since. She still loved her dad, even if she didn’t love Joel.

“C’mon, baby girl” Tommy’s voice was beside her now. “Let’s go home.”

Tommy and Lorenzo’s arms helping her, Zach helping Tommy, they began to walk away from what they had all witnessed. The body would be dealt with, Tommy would go to Maria and explain the situation and they’d dig a grave. Maybe Tommy could convince the pastor to say some words… Joel wasn’t really practicing by the end of the world anyway but he had Sarah baptized, and went to the local baptist church for holidays. Tommy would also, as he promised a guilt ridden Ellie he would, tell Maria about the older teen and the children who Joel had orphaned, taking them to Jackson, to safety. Ellie knew this meant the girl would probably tell the whole town who she was, who her father was… but Ellie was prepared to deal with that. This was her reparation.

“Baby, I don’t blame you for not saving her, you know that, right.” Zach said to Lorenzo on the way back.

“Yeah, I know. We all had our chances, but we all failed her.”

“You didn’t fail me.” Ellie spoke. She was starting to realize… her uncles were growing older. They’d spent 16 years caring for her. It was her turn to care for them. “You did right by me, you kept me safe, happy. I think that mattered to my mom more than anything.”

Tommy turned to her. “Ellie?”

“Yeah?”

“Joel was reaching for his gun, right?”

Ellie swallowed, feeling caught, feeling watched as Lorenzo and Zach looked at her. “Yeah, I was scared he was going to hurt you guys.”

None of them looked like they believed her… but it didn’t really matter, did it? Joel deserved to die. No one looked like they were casting judgment.

“I love you, honeybun. Always. We all do, your aunts do… No more secrets. Tomorrow, whatever you wanna know, I’ll tell you.”

Ellie didn’t know if she even wanted to know more… but considering the trouble not knowing brought her before… Ellie was going to learn all the grizzly details. She was going to learn, she was going to stop sneaking out, she was going to be more disciplined in school, take on extra patrols. Ellie was going to do better. She was never going to lead raiders, she was never going to kill innocnet people and terrorize those around her. But she was going to be a leader. She was going to be the one to stop evil men like Joel, and protect the vulnerable like her mom. She was going to do what the men in her life couldn’t.

“I love you all, so fucking much.”

And she meant it. With everything in her, she loved her family. All of them.

************

Well kids, this is it. The end.

I have a few AU's and shit I wanna do just for funsies but this is all I'm commiting to for now. I want to finish out a few series on my main and get me 1000 followers done, then Im working on another dark!joel series, a yandere, dbf sugar daddy joel but a much shorter series.

Anyway, as always, THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT!!! you kee me going despite the rude anons! I've made pals through this sight and i love yall

please please tell me your thoughts! How we feel about tommy? zach? lorenzo? ellie? and esp joel?!?!?! do you think ellie and tommys reaction was warrented? did ellie do the right thing?

@maura-honey @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @the-fox-den @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @koshkaj-blog @miraclesabound @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @pimosworld

[believeripley]

Just Tommy Miller enjoying watching his nieces give his brother shit.

[mymycorrhizae]

The Last of Us | S01E06

[lauronk]

9 and 12 please if you’re happy to!

9. near miss - tommy & ellie so for the near miss i wrote where tommy and anna were besties, there were a lot of people who wanted tommy finding out ellie was anna's.

(oops forgot to add #12 lol my b)

12. separated joel & ellie getting separated just before they get to jackson and having to a) find each other again and b) reckon with how reliant they've gotten on each other

the wip list

[assiraphales]

tommy saw his brother die the day sarah did. he said “just because life stopped for you doesn’t mean it has to stop for me.” maria doesn’t trust joel (because of stories that tommy told her), and makes it clear to ellie. because the joel that tommy left in boston? he wasn’t doing great. he was still making bad choices, the tough choices. to survive, but not do much else. but this joel? this joel has spent months on the road with a young, hopeful girl. a girl that wormed her way into his heart and made him care again. and this soft look tommy gives joel after joel chooses to go w ellie is a man finally seeing a glimpse of his brother again 

[ebdaydreamer]

Buck at the start of 7x04:

Buck, 5 minutes later: