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graceslavenderhaze · 3 years

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haunted {connor stevens}

synopsis: connor knows your soul and you know his.

authors note:

friends to lovers? fuck yes! forbidden love? hell yes! ‘no one gets me like you’? double hell yes! ‘we balance each other out because we’re exact opposites?’ triple yes!

also readers outfits are high key inspired by the iconic julie molina bc she’s a style queen.

fem! reader because request asked for a female reader, usually i write gender neutral unless specified.

i threw another jatp easter egg bc we haven’t gotten a renewal and i am on the borderline of becoming feral.

also this is going to be split into two parts for maximum angst and fluff purposes.

Your parents were always hard on you. Tough love was their specialty, as one would say. So they had certain expectations for you. They wanted the best for you. So there were rules to make sure you always did the best. No going out late on school nights. No slacking off in school. No disobeying.

However any adult who had ever been a teenager should’ve know that challenging authority is a coming of age tradition. You snuck out on school nights for midnight society meetings. You managed to keep good grades in school while being involved in a few clubs to look good for college applications. And for your parents sake you’d managed to be obedient almost all of high school. The ‘perfect girl next door’.

But it was all bullshit. The only person who ever managed to see through it was Connor Stevens. There never was an odder pairing to walk the halls of shadow bay high school than the two of you. He rocked the classic ‘dark and distressed’ aesthetic. He was on the wrestling team and was popular. He was a natural born risk taker and ignored everything that had a warning sign.

You on the other hand were everything Connor wasn’t. You clashed standing next to him with the bright colors you usually wore in your daily outfits and bracelets that adorned your wrists. You were in the environmental club, art club and theatre. You weren’t popular is the same sense Connor was, sure people knew your name but you were nice to everyone so it was a given that no one forgot the girl who gave out lollipops on valentines day so no one felt left out. You strayed away from trouble and gave distance to warning signs.

You met Connor through Hanna, well sort of, she was in environmental club with you and eventually talked to the midnight society about accepting a new member, you. Everyone knew of with you ,except Connor. He swore he’d heard your name before but he couldn’t put a face to that name at all. So he’d hung around after one of your environmental club meetings with the intention of bumping into Hanna and her introducing him to you. But the day he’d hung around Hanna had a dentist appointment and not knowing anything about Connor’s plan whatsoever, he was left in the dark.

September, sophomore year

Connors eyes skimmed over the crowd of various classmates but he failed to find his red headed friend, his lack of subtlety gave him away. You were walking with your friends Carrie and Kayla. When you noticed the lanky boy dressed in all black. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” You said to your friends as you parted ways. Once Connor noticed you he tried his best to look as if he wasn’t spying.

“Hey.” You introduced yourself playing with the strap of your backpack as your looked at your classmate who was currently leaning against a tree. He turned acting as if he hadn’t been caught by you. “Hi. I was just.. hanging around.” He said brushing several fallen leaves off of his jacket that had fallen from the light fall breeze that had started to roll in.

You nodded, “You totally weren’t spying or anything like that right?” You crossed your arms in front of you. His face went slightly red with embarrassment before he started to stutter. “N-no. I was waiting for Hanna.” He said with composure.

You laughed dipping your head down for a second before looking up at him again. “She had a dentist appointment today.” His face drops flat. You tilt your head. “I knew that.” He rebuttal quickly.

“You’re Connor right?” You asked. “You’ve heard of me?” He asked with confidence. “Oh yeah, Hanna talks about her friends a lot. Luke, the mr. perfect, Gabby, the smartest girl she knows, Jai, the comic book nerd that everyone loves and Connor, the lanky stalker.” You said with a satisfied smile.

“I’m not a stalker.” He defended himself. You nodded. “I’m Y/n and I’m not a stalker either.” You said with a wink before you walked away. Connor smiled to himself before pulling out his phone and clicking the messages app.

October, sophomore year

You laid on your bed, clad in your costume aimlessly scrolling through your instagram feed. Your parents had given you a sun down curfew and due to daylight savings it was dark by six. Halloween was your favorite holiday and you felt like a prisoner in your own house. It wasn’t fair, you followed their rules and were in turn met with more rules and restrictions.

You sat up sighing, you had been so excited about this night for weeks. Hearing rustling at your window you stand up and cross towards it. Startled slightly when you see Connor there in his ghost face costume. You opened your window leaning against the frame.

“What are you doing still inside its halloween!” He said with excitement, like a kid in the candy store. If anyone loved halloween more than you, Connor came neck and neck. “I’m aware it’s halloween and keep your voice down.” You said to him looking back at your bedroom door listening for your parents footsteps before turning your attention back to Connor.

“Are you grounded?” He asked with a hint of confusion in his voice as to why you would be grounded. You didn’t answer, which only egged him on. “What’d you do?” He scoffed almost not believing you had it in you to do anything bad. You cross your arms sitting back against the windowsill. He noticed your mood change.

“Hey, you can tell me what’s wrong you know.” He said gently, no longer mocking or teasing. He laid his hand on top of yours his thumb stroking back and forth. “I didn’t do anything. I do everything they ask of me and it’s never good enough. They gave me a sun down curfew.” You said to him making sure your volume stayed low in fear of alerting your parents you weren’t alone.

Connors eyebrows furrowed, “The sun went down at six. Seth has a later curfew than you.” He joked as he let out a laugh but once he noticed that you weren’t amused he stopped. “Sorry.” You let out a frustrated groan, “ I get perfect grades, I act like the perfect daughter that they want at my own expense, I sacrifice my own personality for them and its never enough.” You said looking out at the sky that had a full moon.

Connor sat there in the full moonlight. Your colorful bracelets were discarded, your smile that always was on your face was gone, your eyes were slightly teary eyed, and looking slightly past you saw your room. your doors had artwork and posters on the back but the rest of the room was calm.

“I think you’re enough. I know you’re enough.” He said in almost a whisper but even if he said it any louder no one else would hear other than the stars and the moon. Your attention turned back to him. “You’re just saying that.” You said looking down at your lap. He placed a finger under your chin and lifted your head back up so your gaze was back on him.

“No i’m not. I’ll say it everyday until you start to believe it if i have to.” He said looking in your eyes. “I really want to kiss you. Is that okay?” Your voice was so quiet that if Connor wasn’t so close he probably wouldn’t have heard it. He smiled, “Yeah, that’s okay.” You leaned in and closed the gap between the two of you. Through all of this Connors hand was still enveloped over yours. Breaking apart with huge smiles you both giggled.

“C’mon, we have halloween plans and your parents are asleep on the couch downstairs.” He said standing up and outstretching his hand to you. You hesitated, you’d never snuck out before. “You trust me right?” He said. “Duh.” You said.

Turning around you grabbed a jacket then, went into your desk drawer grabbing your array of colorful bracelets and hastily putting them on. Turning around Connor still had a hand outstretched for you as you slipped your shoes on. Climbing through your window and regrettably, looking down.

“Have you never snuck out before?” Connor said concerned about the way you were looking at the ground. You turned your head and shook it. He nodded. “I got you.” He grabbed your hands and lead you along the incline of the roof. Turning around so he could climb down. “It’s okay.” He said before climbing down leaving you up alone. You swallowed hard, was it too late to go back inside?

“Okay, swing your legs over the ledge.” He said in a hushed tone. You hesitated for a second before slowly moving over the ledge. “There you go!” Eventually you got your legs steadily over the ledge. “Okay so place your right foot right there and then turn around and place your left foot parallel.” Your fear filled eyes met Connors. “I’m right here.” At a turtle speed you started to shift down the shaft. Slipping once or twice and white knuckle gripping the side of the shaft.

“Are you okay?” You swallowed. “Is it easier getting up than down?” You asked. “Much.” He said bluntly coming closer to make sure you’d be okay if you slipped. “Thank fuck.” You nervously laughed. “Okay now just go down one at a time.” He said standing at the bottom ready to catch you when you got to the bottom.

“There’s no more.” You said after your foot slipped. “Yeah now you jump.” He said. “You said nothing about jumping.” You argued. “You’re a foot and a half off the ground, i’ll catch you. I promise.” He said. You turned looking down. “Do i just let go?” You said hesitantly, part of you wishes you stayed in your bedroom. But part of you is glad you didn’t.

“Yeah. I’m gonna put my hands on your waist, is that okay?” He asked looking up at you. “Whatever gets me on the ground faster.” You said as you felt his hands fall onto your waist. After a few moments you loosened your grip on the shaft and then completely let go putting all your trust into Connor.

Falling into his chest and your feet plant onto the ground your eyes stay shut as a reflex. Once you were still you opened them, turning around you looked at Connor who had a hard time reading your face. You started laughing. “I just snuck out. With a boy. That i kissed! My heart is racing!” You said taking Connors hand and placing it against your chest. He smiled looking at you.

present day

“You are blowing things out of proportion.” You said to your mother as you were practically prison marched into your house. She scoffed at you. “Oh i’m blowing things out of proportion! What have we talked about and instilled into you your whole life?” She said rhetorically, she didn’t want an answer but you had one granted she wouldn’t like it. Your dad stood by the door silently as if you’d make a run for it.

“To do everything and anything to be perfect regardless of who you have to destroy even if you destroy yourself!” You exclaimed crossing your arms. If your parents wanted to play manipulation games you could too, after all you were their daughter.

“We break our backs to give you amazing opportunities and this is how you repay us? Lying and going behind our backs? Like an ungrateful brat!” Your father finally spoke up. You were never ungrateful for those opportunities, you just wanted to be a normal kid and when you were with your friends you felt like one.

“I never said i was ungrateful! I just want to be a normal teenager, hang out with my friends and be myself! You guys have made me disregard all mentions of who i am for the sake of this nuclear family image that you so desperately want to achieve.” You said spilling out years of emotions. You hadn’t known how long they’d been in there. Bubbling over and just poisoning your happiness.

“You just want to hang out with that trashy shawn hunter wannabe!” Your mother exclaimed about Connor. Low blow to an already low battle. “This has nothing to do with Connor and he’s actually a really great person! The only person who seems to care about the real me.” You exclaimed. Your parents were slack jawed.

“You are to never hang out with that boy again, do you understand us?” Your father said coldly. You were taken aback. Your heart had sunken to your stomach. “We forbid it.” Your mother added on. “You forbid it?” You scoffed.

“Do you understand?” Your father asked again. You crossed your fingers behind your back. “Crystal clear.” As you turned to go upstairs to your bedroom tears of anger and frustration filled your eyes. Opening your bedroom door and closing it shut. You looked at your window, you were already in trouble. What’s a little more? Shooting Connor a text you then climbed out your window. Connor was right, it did get easier the more you did it.

After a sneaking around to his house being quick to avoid anyone who you knew would tell your parents about seeing you, you made it there in the average fifteen minutes it usually took to get to his house. “You look like you need a hug.” He immediately after opening the door pulling you into his awaiting arms. You wrapped your arms around his torso. You pulled away and he gently grabbed your chin a sad look washed over his face. “You’ve been crying.” His tone wasn’t questioning it was more of a matter of a factual.

Your silence only proved what he thought. “Please just talk to me, i hate seeing you upset.” You exhaled a breath you didn’t know you’d even inhaled. He grabbed your hand and lead you to his couch for you both to sit down. He threaded his fingers and yours together, a habit both of you developed during the time you’d started dating.

“My parents found out about everything and now they’re forbidding me from seeing you.” You said with a bitter tone in your voice, through the whole year you’d managed to keep everything up. Your grades, your attendance in the clubs, and anything else that tied to your limbs pulling you like the puppet your parents treated you as. “Did you sneak out to see me?” He said with a smirk.

“Possibly.” You said quickly biting down a smile causing him to lean in and steal a quick kiss.

“Wow i’ve really corrupted you.” He whispered, up close you noticed the eyebags from the lack of sleep, his room had light shining that was brighter than usual, and a quick look into the kitchen when you first walked in showed freshly brewed coffee. “Are you okay?” You asked. You could tell the gears in his head were turning at half speed.

“I’m always okay when you’re around.” He said slyly. You didn’t wanna pry but he looked exhausted. “Did you sleep last night? Like at all?” You said softly. He looked down. “Con, what’s going on.” He thought for a moment about telling you but he couldn’t. He’d be putting you in direct danger, offering you straight to the shadowman. So he did what he did best to protect those he cared best about, he pushed away.

“Why do you care?” He said swallowing harshly, protecting you was breaking his own heart in the process in a way he thinks might not be fixable. You were taken aback. “”Because i love you, i have since halloween.” The pieces that broke? Yeah they just shattered into more pieces, those pieces all loved you fully.

“Your parents are right, i’m not good for you.” He had to hold his own tears back before continuing. “You shouldn’t be here.” You had tears welling up in your eyes for the second time that evening. Both your broken hearts were breaking and you had no idea where this was coming from.

“I don’t want to lose you, i don’t want to lose this.” There had been numerous times during your relationship where you and Connor swore that you were soulmates. There was no word for explaining it, it was just this immense feeling that was mutual and overtaking. Like a wave that constantly crashed over you both every time you saw the other smile.

“Someday, i hope you’ll forgive me.” He said with his own tears going down his face, and you nodded. Nothing lasts forever. No matter how much you want it to. You stood up and his heartbroken eyes followed you as if you were the sun constantly orbiting. You went for the door.

“Wait!” His voice beckoned, you turned. His arm outstretched holding out a jacket for you. “Here, take my coat.” You had no fight inside of you. You took it.

“I’m not your girlfriend anymore you don’t have to.” He cut you off. “It’s an old one from sophomore year, i have a new one. Plus its freezing outside and we both know you look better in that than i do.” He rambled before stopping himself. You nodded and slipped the jacket onto yourself which loosely hung off your figure. He gave you a tight smile. You noticed from the zippers that it was the one he was wearing when you first met and kissed. That was salt in a fresh wound.

You both stood there, he couldn’t turn back now and you couldn’t know what would happen in the coming week. Neither of you wanted to say goodbye. So you didn’t, you went to the door without saying anything else to him. Then, he just stood there watching. When the door closed he inhaled.

His lights flickered and he realized he was running out of time. He had to get the cottage and do the ritual before it was too late for him. But he was already out of time.

#are you afraid of the dark #are you afraid of the dark imagine #ayaotd #ayaotd imagine #connor stevens #connor stevens imagine #gabby lewis #hanna romero #luke mccoy #jai malyas #julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms imagine #grace writes

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nobody-wants-ice-cream · 4 years

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Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 8, I Heard a Rumor.

This episode is particularly brutal. Warnings include child abuse, domestic abuse, suicide, rape, gore, and manipulation. Keep yourself safe.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

Run Boy Run

Extra Ordinary

Man on the Moon

Number Five

The Day That Wasn’t

The Day That Was

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

I would also like to add that normally you wouldn’t watch a show this way. I am purposefully looking for mistakes, easter eggs, and other things that we’re not supposed to notice. I am watching not with the goal of entertainment, but for analysis. So most of the things that I sin, I am seeing for the first time.

Also, no I can’t do better. I am in no way qualified to give this level of criticism about anything. I am not taking this seriously. At all.

I Heard a Rumor

Stormy Weather by Etta James. I adore this song. When I first watched the show I was so happy when this song came on.-1

I am also taking a sin off for the Emmy Raver-Lampman version -1

It looks like Allison genuinely adores her daughter. And Claire’s bedroom? I would want to have that room now and I am at least ten years older than her. -1

Speaking of, how old is Claire? Sin until we have answers. +1

The animations for the story of The Umbrella Academy defeating the robbers at the museum. -2

“While your Uncle Klaus got a little distracted.” What did Klaus do on missions again? +1

Allison carefully censors the mission so she is still telling the truth but doesn’t actually say that Diego used knives or that Ben used the horror to (presumably, we don’t know how much control Ben had) kill four people. Good job. See Reggie, this is how you don’t traumatise your kid with violence. -1

“Their leader.” Looks suspiciously like a villain from the comics. -1

“I wanna hear the one about the Eiffel tower.” Me too, Claire. Especially since the magazine clips we see suggest Five was there this time. -1

Mind control. ON A CHILD. This is what bothers me the most about Allison as a character and I am glad that she is moving past it. However, in no universe can I let this go. Depending on how Allison used it, Claire’s emotional control could be fucked for life. +40

Patrick behaves like a rational human being and doesn’t blow up at Allison for this in front of their child. He also divorces her in order to keep said child safe. Good. -1

“I heard a rumor you love me.” Who did she say this to? It doesn’t matter who, it’s still disturbing, but oh dear God who did she say this to? I think this is the second most fucked up thing we hear Allison say after the rumoring Claire scene. +10

Allison is going 120 kmh, or 75 mph, in the rain. If you have ever driven a car in the rain then you know exactly why I am sinning this. For those who don’t know, google hydroplaning. Allison could have died here very, very easily. +3

Title screen on a billboard! I forgot how cool the episode 8 title screen was. -1

Allison doesn’t bring her proof with her when going to confront Vanya, who has been shown to be irrational when it comes to Leonard. +1

Bird jumpscare. +1

“They want me to come back tomorrow be fitted for a prosthetic eye”. Leonard places emphasis on the words “prosthetic eye” to remind the viewers that Leonard is bad news. Good acting choice. -1

Leonard’s clothes look freshly bloody when the blood should be several hours old and therefore a more rusty brown color than a bright red. I think. I don’t know if that’s how it works with such large amounts of blood. +1

Luther’s bed is now magically big enough to fit both him and the rave girl. +1

Luther’s reaction to the rave girl. Rewatch this scene to get such a laugh at Luther’s face. -1

How out of it was Luther vs the rave girl? Consent issues on both sides. +3

Luther treated the rave girl to some wine? Or cranberry juice? How thoughtful. -1

I really, really hope they were safe though. There is no evidence to imply they were safe. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about then you’re too young to be watching TUA). +1

Klaus is such a little shit. “Wakey wakey! Eggs and bakey!” while ringing the bell. Peak sibling culture is doing this sort of thing while knowing that the other sibling is NOT going to appreciate it. Also, Klaus deserves his revenge after last night. -1

The little wave the rave girl gives Klaus. -1

Go back and watch this scene. Holy shit this is so underrated. This is the funniest thing ever. -1

“He popped his cherry! Now you’re gonna have to marry her” -4

Klaus doesn’t remember his first time. Consent issues. +3

“No dilly-dallying, alright?” I love Klaus. -1

Klaus makes french press coffee for Luther and Ben. Klaus is a good brother. -1

I would kill to see Ben’s reaction to Luther and the rave girl. +1

Five snatches Luther’s coffee and not Ben’s, ya know, the guy who can’t drink the coffee. And is invisible. Five is a dick to Luther or Five wanted to be a little shit to Luther after having to hear him and the rave girl. Either way, +1

He steals the coffee and he complains about it. +1

Ben! -1

“This is a bad idea” no shit. +1

The awkward pauses where Ben is presumably speaking don’t make sense here. +1

The camera trickery used to make Luther look like a giant compared to Five. -1

Five knows where the aspirin is “top shelf next to the crackers” because he was also hungover. I think. I can’t remember if FIve stopped back at the house, but presumably he and Luther had to go there to get the car. -1

Luther still isn’t getting up to get the aspirin even though he can listen just fine while getting it. +1

Ben adding to the dramatic tension of the scene in a uniquely humorous way that only this show can pull off. -2

Luther doesn’t believe Klaus about Reggie’s suicide. What reason would Klaus have to lie about this, Luther? +1

Five believes him right away. -1

Convenient Pogo backing up Klaus is convenient. +1

This has nothing to do with this very dramatic and important scene, but the mismatched chairs, while cute, don’t appear in any other scene. +1

Five calls Reggie a “sick bastard” under his breath. That’s one way to describe him. -1

Pogo kept this secret for a long time. Not telling the kids was a strange choice and I’m not sure why Pogo made it. On one hand, he would be respecting the wishes of his creator and friend but on the other he would be helping these people come to terms with their father’s death. Pogo’s character motivations are strange and I don’t understand them. +1

Luther said it best, “there’s always choice.” +1

Random thought I had, where was Harold’s grandmother when he was being abused and then going to jail because he killed his abuser? +1

Leonard says some nice things in this scene. If we didn’t know how manipulative he was I would give him credit for this line. +1

Agnes looks adorable out of the Griddy’s uniform. Costume/hair people, you did good. -1

Agnes keeps saying things like “we aren’t in a rush” and talking about seeing three years worth of stops to remind us that there is no time. Hazel looks heartbroken by it. -1

Allison abandons her vehicle. Do not take driving advice from The Umbrella Academy, ever! +1

Allison sees a random scarf from several cars away and immediately connects it with Vanya. Does she also have super sight? +1

The first time we see Allison get recognized by a random stranger for her acting is eight episodes in. +1

Cheddar (the cop Allison is talking to) is so enamored by Allison that he stops doing his job correctly. +1

“Jackpine cove” who named these towns? +1

Allison and Five have the same little shrug when they finish telling terrible lies. -1

Allison is a terrible liar. +1

Diego is still in jail. They’re talking about transferring him upstate. This is really bad news. +1

“Did she use that word? Contentious?” The definitions of contentious all say the word argument. Beeman says that Diego and Patch had an argumentative relationship. This matters to Diego. Why? +1

This conversation was written by someone who doesn’t understand the connotation of the word contentious. +1

Beeman encourages Diego to escape and go on the run. Are all the cops incompitent on this show? You have Patch, who hasn’t pinned Diego for obstruction of justice despite the show implying that Diego has touched evidence he wasn’t supposed to many times, Cheddar, who is so distracted by Allison freakin’ Hargreeves that he forgets that taking her along to a murder case is unethical at best, and Beeman who straight up encourages Diego to escape from jail. That last one is definitely illegal. +10

The parallel between Five and Leonard reading something they aren’t supposed to have in the bathroom. Both the apocalypse file and the journal are red, too. This means something but I don’t have the analysis skills to really go into it. If anyone wants to take a crack at it, go ahead. Sin removed because I know this is smart even if I can’t figure out why.-1

Vanya’s training implies that Reggie has been training these kids hard since they were at least four years old. +7

Current Sin Count: 73

Reggie doesn’t praise Vanya for breaking the glass, he just demands that she does it again. Say it with me now, Reggie is a dick. +1

Leonard straight up uses the word extraordinary. Sigh. +1

The description for how Vanya’s powers work (concentrate on a constant sound until that’s all you can hear and then use an emotional connection to target) is surprisingly good. This is the best description of somebody’s powers we’ve ever gotten in this show. -1

Klaus is attempting to get the yarn on the needle and failing miserably. This is one of the simpler, if tedious, things we do in knitting. Therefore, it is completely understandable how a beginner can’t make heads or tails of it. -1

Five is still injured. The old man walk gives it away. +1

Five treats Klaus like a second in command. I want more of this duo. -1

“So how’d the crazy bastard actually know to kill himself a week before the end of the world?” We would all like to know the answer to that question. Five would be excellent at cinema sins. +1

“Don’t answer, that was purely rhetorical.” Nice cop out, show. +1

Reggie used The Apocalypse to make his kids do the dishes. Checks out. +1

Five and Klaus bond over hating doing the dishes and the person making them do the dishes. Sibling culture. -1

“Where have you been?” “Jail. Long story.” The looks on Klaus and Five’s faces! -2

Vanya breaks the monocle. Good job, kid. However, if you know the comics then you know why I am mildly concerned about this. -1

“That will conclude your training for the time being.” Meaning the next 25 years. Reggie, you suck. +1

Now Vanya’s powers are a bit more vague and imply that she has super hearing. +1

Leonard’s training routine actually includes some praise, which is a step up from Reggie. However, a step up from Reggie is still someplace in hell, so it’s still a sin. +1

It’s also a sin because it’s uncontrolled and Vanya is afraid of it, yet Leonard keeps pushing her. +1

Leonard uses the kind of language Reggie would use to describe Vanya’s powers. Checks out because he read Reggie’s book and is using his ideas to train Vanya. +1

Helen Cho’s missing person poster reminds the viewer that Leonard is bad news. +1

Vanya plays for the St. Pluvium Chamber Orchestra. First of all, no they have a conductor. +1

Second of all, “Pluvium” means of or relating to rain. The Umbrella Academy fights against the leader of the rain orchestra in episode 10. Who came up with that pun? That is absolutely hilarious. -1

Based on a post by @seven-valid-libras I think Griddy’s is across the street from this bar? I am not 100% sure. If it is then that’s a sin off because Agnes definitely has a bunch of drunk people coming in for doughnuts every now and then. I lowkey want to write this fic. -1

“Maybe they’ll brood each other to death” Is this a reference to the fact that Luther and Diego were both too emo for umbrellas in episode 1? -1

I feel so bad for Luther right now. Reggie really fucked with his head. +1

After hearing that Vanya’s boyfriend is a convicted murderer, Luther is more concerned for Allison than he is for Vanya. +1

Diego’s face when Luther says “you should have led with that!” [the fact that Allison went after a convicted murderer alone] -1

Luther is right. Diego should have led with that. +1

Luther breaks the door in his rush to get out of the bar. Checks out. -1

Mary J. Blige. -1

The shop is closing because Agnes is leaving? Who owns Griddy’s? +1

And if the shop is closing, then why leave doughnuts on the shelf? Are they gifts for the other waitresses who are now out of a job? +1

Agnes keeps a flamingo (presumably, scented) candle in a bakery. +1

Cha Cha was way too close to that explosion to not get some scratches at the very least. +1

Sergeant Cheddar is letting Allison stay in the room while he interrogates Mr. Luntz (the man that survived Vanya’s powers). +1

What kind of person allows themselves to be hired by some guy in order to beat him up in front of his girlfriend? Who does that? Are there people like that who exist in real life? +1

Allison doesn’t get pissed off when Luntz says that they started to hurt the girl (Vanya) too. +1

Sgt. Cheddar finally gets pissed off with Allison after she starts leading Luntz. This took way too long. +1

“What I really need to do is practice,” said every musician ever. Including me. As I’m typing this I’m putting off practicing. Vanya is calling me out. I deserve it. +1

Also, Vanya just got first chair and so far she still hasn’t learned the solo the day before the concert. That is such a mood. -1

The cracks in Leonard’s personality are finally starting to show. If Harold was smart he would let Vanya do this without attempting to manipulate her into more practice. +1

Vanya left her violin propped up in the middle of a sofa. That is a broken violin waiting to happen. +1

Where is her rosin? Don’t tell me she reuses the same rosin and doesn’t clean her instrument. Please. +2

Leonard doesn’t tell Vanya where he will be going. He just sort of leaves without a note. This would be fine if this universe had cell phones, but it doesn’t. Leonard is a dick. +1

Agnes would like to spend her (Hazel tells her it’s hypothetical but we know it’s not) last two days on Earth with Hazel. That is so sweet. But also, they met less than a week ago. +1

This is the turning point that makes Hazel an active character that wants to stop the apocalypse. Finally some character motivation that makes sense! Whoop! -1

They Call Me a Fool by Damon is another one of my favorites from the soundtrack. What can I say, I’m a sucker for jazz. -1

There is a parallel between Five leaving Vanya’s apartment and Leonard leaving her at the cabin. Her brother (whom I assume she loves) and the man she is infatuated with both leave her at some point without warning. The people who Vanya loves keep leaving her. +2

Vanya puts her violin down on a chair and lets the bow fall. Bows are expensive. +1

“I made a secret place just for you. None of your siblings get to play there.” Of course Reggie is framing it this way. He’s scared of her. +1

The further away from Pogo the camera is, the less real he looks. +1

Reggie and Pogo locked Vanya in this cage. +1

Vanya’s violin bow fell down but in the next shot it’s propped on the chair. +1

Sgt. Cheddar tells Allison to stay put but has no way to verify that she actually will. Also, if he’s such a fan then shouldn’t he know that she used to be a superhero? +1

Allison kept her proof about Leonard/Harold in the car again. +1

“I love you. And I wanna be here for you as your sister.” -1

“I love him.” Vanya you met him less than a week ago. +2

If there was ever a wrong time to bring up the fact that you took Vanya’s powers away and left her with a horribly low self esteem due to the poorly worded “I heard a rumor that you think you’re just ordinary”, it would be now! Now is the wrong time to bring this up! +10

Reggie used Allison to make Vanya powerless. Reggie is a dick. An absolute bastard. A complete scumbag. Etc. +20

Reggie has also been drugging Vanya since she was FOUR YEARS OLD. +50

Insert Reggie insults here. Feel free to come up with your own in the tags. Fuck this guy repeatedly with a rusty chainsaw. +20

Vanya is not in the right state of mind to understand that Reggie is the one that made Allison rumor her. +1

The final fight between Allison and Vanya is heartbreaking. Emmy Raver-Lampman and Ellen Page are excellent actresses. -5

Vanya’s skin keeps getting paler and paler. Foreshadowing. -1

This is the only time Allison attempts to use her powers in the show. To save her life. I would say that it is pretty justified. -1

Violin bows are not sharp enough to cut human flesh. Is this another part of Vanya’s power? +1

Gore warning! This is super fucked. Not gonna lie, I gag a little every time I see this.+4

Vanya is freaking out and then Leonard walks in. Vanya’s mental state is completely out the window at this point. +4

Leonard manhandles Vanya into letting her sister die (as far as they know) on the floor of the cabin. +10

Allison has definitely lost enough blood to kill her, yet she survives this. +1

Leonard went out to kill Luntz. +10

Nobody in the car (Five driving, Klaus shotgun, Luther and Diego in the back) is wearing a seatbelt. +1

Also, of these four people, Five is the most qualified to drive right now? Diego is sitting right there! And we saw Klaus drive the ice cream truck! Luther would have some trouble driving because he’s so large. But really?? +2

“Can you go any faster?” “Ask me again and I’ll burn you with the cigarette lighter.” The comic relief doesn’t really land here because the scene before was so dramatic and the music is still playing. To change the mood, the song would also have to change. +2

Independently, that is a pretty funny Grandpa Five line. -1

Including Ben in the scene where they find Allison bleeding out on the floor is a subtle reminder to the audience that if Allison was dead, Klaus would be able to see her ghost. The lack of a ghost means she is still alive. +1

Also, this scene has all the original members of The Umbrella Academy in it. Look how far they’ve come from the bank robbery. +6

No one is checking for a pulse right now. They’re just assuming that Allison is dead. +10

Overall Review: It goes without saying that this episode is fucking brutal. When I first watched it I had to stop and go do something else for a while because of the rumor reveal and the throat thing. That was really, really concerning. Props to Emmy Raver-Lampman. She fucking killed it this episode. If anyone was wondering if she was a good actress (ya know because of all the “come look at this” lines she kept getting) then this episode made it very clear that she can act and she does it very, very well.

So, Vanya’s sanity is out the window, Allison is down for the count, and no one cares about the apocalypse right now. That last one is understandable because of Allison’s situation, but damn it really isn’t looking good for the Hargreeves siblings.

Also, I want to talk about something. This is the last episode in which Allison and Vanya are both capable of speech. And in the eight hours we have known these two women, they have had multiple conversations. All of them have been about a man. Their brothers, their father, Patrick, or Leonard/Harold. Seriously, the two women in this show that are main characters never have a conversation that isn’t about a man. There is no excuse. With the fridging and this, you have to wonder if the writers on this show hate women or something? I don’t normally add sins post analysis, but I think I will make an exception for this one. +100

Total: 283

Sentence: Serious gore.

#The Umbrella Academy #all in good fun #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #leonard peabody #harold jenkins #show warnings apply #this episode is brutal

77 notes · View notes

harryandmolly · 5 years

Text

Complicit // 3

summary: Shawn is under more pressure than he’s ever known. He craves release and comfort, the simplicity of sex. He gets more than he bargained for.

warnings: language, NSFW, a TLWH easter egg

WC: 7k

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Shawn Mendes & Bex Spotted Canoodling in Toronto -- The Sun

Did Shawn Mendes Take Bex Home To Meet The Parents?! -- JustJared

Fallin’ All in Bex! Shawn Mendes and Bex Hit His Hometown For A Romantic Weekend -- TMZ

Penny steps back from her magnifying mirror, mashing her mauve lips together after a good blot and decides she’s ready. She smoothes her manicured fingers down the front of her ice blue Vince slip dress and reaches for the handle of her suitcase, packed with one of her favorite clients in mind, who has a fondness for vibration.

As she turns, she’s stopped in the doorway of her bathroom by an enormous German shepherd, sitting patiently, watching her like a little girl studying her mother putting on makeup. Penny scrunches her face affectionately and squats a little, cupping the dog’s big soft head in her hands.

“My baby Pammy,” she coos, leaving the dog with a kiss on the nose that makes her sniffle and sneeze, “I’ll see you early tomorrow morning. Maybe we’ll go up to Wildwood Canyon for a hike.”

At the word ‘hike,’ Pamela’s head tilts dramatically. Penny laughs and heads for her front door.

Gus is standing on her porch with his arms folded behind his back, admiring her view. When he hears her front door open, he turns with a soft smile.

“Hello there.”

Penny rises on her toes even in her strappy sandals to reach his cheek for a kiss.

“You look lovely as ever. We’re heading to the Roosevelt tonight. Can I take your case?”

Always the same routine. Gus greets her, compliments her, tells her where her date is (though she already knows) and offers to take her luggage. His professionalism is somehow comforting. Penny nods and passes over the suitcase, allowing him to open her door in the back of his Tesla (the agency used to have a small fleet of towncars but went electric last year for the environment).

The car is cool and sleek and silent. Instead of the music some of the agency women prefer to play on the way to a date, Gus and Penny talk. He catches her up on his week, tells her that his daughter Jamie is trying out for freshman soccer and they’ve been running drills in their backyard in Pasadena. His partner Ty is running another marathon, which Gus shakes his head at. Wasn’t one enough?

Penny craves the normalcy she gets a peek at in Gus’s world. Her life is beautiful -- glamorous and exciting and full of color, but Gus has a family to come home to every night that loves him and misses him when he’s away.

She gazes out at the rippling lights of West Hollywood as they zip past. She makes a choice every day to pursue a life she’s not ready to share with someone else. The truth is, her job fulfills her so much more than dating ever has. When she started working as an escort, she still tried to date. No one was ever worth leaving her work behind for. No one was worth giving up the satisfaction of helping, of relieving, of healing. She resigned not to stop working until she met that person, if they ever came along.

Gus leaves the car in the back lot, taking her case with a wink and a smile.

Penny waits.

The room is cool. The doors to the balcony are open. Penny makes a mental note to shut them for privacy later. They may be in one of the penthouse suites, but this client is extra concerned about discretion and pays a premium for Penny’s sealed lips.

The delicious thrill of an evening with a client crawls up Penny’s smooth back. She reaches out and cups a pair of full hips facing the quiet night. She uses her lips to brush away the soft red hair at the nape of a neck.

“Hello, Julia.”

The woman in her arms reacts, relaxing palpably, sighing and closing her electric green eyes.

“Where the fuck have you been in the last sixteen days?”

Her voice is teasing. Penny grins against her freckled skin, nipping to feel Julia’s perky ass grind back against her hips.

“You were the one who’s been in Moscow shaking hands and playing nice with the big boys,” Penny reminds her, stepping closer and sweeping her hands up Julia’s stomach, teasing the undersides of her breasts beneath her silk blouse.

Julia comes down another notch, her shoulders dropping as she slowly gives in to Penny’s touch. She sighs again, louder, reaching for the wall to steady herself.

“Wish I could fold you up in my pocket and take you with me.”

“Mmm, you haven’t taken me on a business trip in a while,” Penny hums, remembering Rio de Janeiro in January fondly. She slips her fingers over the generous swell of Julia’s breasts, digging her nails in slightly to get her coming all the way undone.

Julia rolls her head back against Penny’s shoulder, blinking slowly. “That’s because you fucked me so hard with the strap-on I looked like an idiot meeting the Brazilian president. I couldn’t… walk.”

Penny drops a hand back down, gliding past her Prada trousers and into what Penny is sure is La Perla lingerie to press her fingers against Julia’s wet cunt. Julia gasps and grinds down into Penny’s touch.

“Worth it, though, right, princess?”

Julia whines, loud and breathy. Penny knows the sound well. Julia Granger, Fortune 500 CEO and one of the richest, most powerful women in the world, is willing, desperate putty in Penny’s hands.

“So worth it,” Julia replies, her voice an octave higher than her soft mumbling moments ago. Penny smiles, rewarding her with a rough roll of her fingers. Julia squirms and stares at her.

“Is that what you want tonight? You wanna fuck my pussy with your pretty cock?”

Adrenaline flares hot and heavy through Penny’s entire body. She drops her head back and closes her eyes, reveling.

“Maybe if you’re the good girl I know you can be.”

Julia coos, rolling her hips between Penny and her hand. “Gonna be a good girl for you. So fucking good, Penny. The best.”

Penny’s free hand cups the back of Julia’s professionally blown out hair and drags her in. She tastes like red wine and woman. Penny groans appreciatively, loving the way Julia softens and waits to follow Penny’s lead, never taking more than she’s given, totally willing to offer her considerable power. Drunk on it already, Penny bites hard on Julia’s lower lip, swallowing the sweet, silky moan.

Penny pulls away smiling, pecking the skin she just abused, eyeing the open balcony doors.

“Let’s close these before I get you screaming for me.”

Penny scurries on tiptoes toward her VPI HW-40 turntable, a lavish gift from a client, to turn down the silky crooning of Patti Page. In her free hand, she hits the “Accept Call” button on her phone.

“Hello, stranger.”

“Ciao, bella. How are things?”

Penny looks over the warm, angular face of her brother Peter and pads back to her loveseat. She settles in, sweatpants and hoodie on in full post-date hibernation mood.

“Things are good. I’m recovering from last night.”

Peter smirks and leans back against the blank white wall behind his dorm bed. “Who was it?”

“Julia.”

Peter cocks his head and grins. “I loooove Julia.”

Penny barks a vibrant laugh. “She’s your style icon.”

“She is,” Peter admits freely, widening his eyes to show his sincerity, “She was photographed in this vintage Chanel suit last month in Page Six, I think it was from the 60s, and I swear to god--”

“Pete, you know I usually pay more attention to what’s under the suit,” Penny interrupts dryly, lifting a brow.

Peter pauses and rolls his eyes. “Then you found the perfect profession.”

“I really did, didn’t I?” she teases, wrinkling her nose, “So, how’s school?”

Peter grunts and slouches down into his twin XL, picking at his Target-purchased jersey sheets. “‘S fine. I’m taking on an extra project in my Mathematical Economic Modeling class. Gets me more face time with that professor with the Apple connections, Dietrich. And the TA is gorgeous.”

Penny’s smirk is alarmingly similar to Peter’s. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” She gestures to herself.

Peter snorts. “You’re not my tree.”

“I’m as good as. How is that tree of ours, anyway? Have you talked to them?”

“They’re fine. I talked to dad and Kris on Thursday. They’re going to Miami for fall break so they asked if I could stay with mom and Frank. I told them I was flying out to visit you instead.”

Penny pauses her fiddling with the cushions on her sofa and looks at him through the phone. “Are you?”

“Ugh, don’t look so horrified. I’m going to Sasha’s. Her family lives in Delaware and they have a boat.”

“First of all, I’m not horrified, I would just need to move some shit around in my calendar. Second, why don’t you just tell them that?”

“Oh my god, I’m not gonna, like, cramp your hooker style. Just leave me on a beach I’d be fiiiiiine,” Peter whines. Penny narrows her eyes.

“I don’t live anywhere near the beach and your ass still can’t drive. Why do you care if they know you’re at Sasha’s?”

“Oh my god, I know, my useless gay ass really needs a license, what the fuck,” Peter laments.

“HEY!” Penny yelps for his attention, “Why does it matter if you’re in Delaware?”

Peter grunts and rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t. I just don’t need them knowing shit about me, you know?”

Penny’s lips fasten. She nods. She can’t argue with that, it’s the same approach she took with their parents while she was growing up with them in the suburbs of northern Jersey. She didn’t have a shitty childhood or anything. In fact once her parents got divorced and quickly remarried wildly different people, things ran much smoother. But the family isn’t close. Her parents were very preoccupied with their own lives and never paid much attention to Penny or Peter. So they made their own family. And in that family, the less others outside it know about them, the better.

Penny feels an overwhelming urge to hug her little brother, the super genius, the boy who got into MIT at 16 to study Computer Science, Economics and Data Science. Their parents barely noticed, but Penny did. She pays his tuition bills and housing to remind him financially of how much she cares. She tries to remind him in other ways, too, like this, their (usually) weekly FaceTime date.

“Well, you’ll be out here for Thanksgiving, right? We’re gonna order Chinese and get high in Big Bear?”

Penny sounds laughably eager. She doesn’t mind. Peter deserves her eagerness and her care-giving instincts. He always has.

Peter smiles, hugging a stuffed hippogryff pillow into his narrow chest. “Course. Better you than the stepmonsters.”

Penny rolls her tired eyes. “I’m flattered. Email me your holiday schedule this week so I can buy your flight, ok?”

Peter nods and watches his sister yawn and collapse back into her pillows.

“Julia wore you the fuck out,” he laughs.

“She did. I’ve had a few very long nights over the last couple weeks, actually. And doing all the end of month stuff for Silver.”

“Silver, OMG, my mom.”

Penny continues, ignoring Peter’s extremely gen Z interruption, “And before that I was with Victor in the Caribbean.”

“Has Julia been hogging you since then?”

Penny glances at the record player, shrugging. “New client, actually.”

“Ooh, we love. Anyone I know?”

Penny doesn’t have to tell Peter to keep a secret. She also knows better than to play coy for too long. She tells him everything.

“Shawn Mendes.”

Peter’s eyes go wide. His jaw drops. He makes a squeaking noise and falls dramatically into his pillows. “Dead. Bitch, I’m dead. What the fuck?!? Are you… oh my GOD!”

Penny’s familiar with the reaction. She got almost the same one when she had a few dates with Timothee Chalamet last spring. This one is even more… Peter.

“Truly, this is the highlight of my life and it’s not even mine. What a moment. Can we just pause and take this in? Oh my god. You’re… oh my god. How many times have you seen him?”

“Twice.”

“Oh sweet god. Tell me everything, holy fuck.”

“I’m not going to tell you everything. I never tell you everything,” Penny reminds him.

She’s been open about her profession with her brother since he was 14 (with the maturity of an 18-year-old) but long ago decided he didn’t need to know all the details of her escapades. Some things have to remain just hers.

Peter whines loudly. “But this is different! He’s… god, an Adonis. The best looking man on the planet. Seriously, he has no business looking like that.”

Penny nods solemnly. She doesn’t disagree.

Peter’s lips purse. His eyes narrow. “But you like him, right?”

“I do. He’s very nice. And… he’s a very good boy.”

Peter lifts a cushion to his face and screams while Penny laughs, curling into a comfy ball on her couch.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Mendes?”

Shawn blinks. His stomach drops into his shoes and his fingers tighten around his phone. “Uh… yeah? Hi.”

“Hello, this is Colette. May I have your verbal password for security purposes?”

Shawn presses a hand into the hair he forgot he was doing up and frowns. La Splendeur has never called him before. He has to give his verbal password when he calls the service, but he’s a little thrown off at being the one getting a call. He clears his throat.

“Um, it’s “Ireland.””

Shawn wasn’t prepared to have to create a password when they first asked him for one so he spit out the first word he thought of, and Niall was the one who gave him their number, so…

“Yes, thank you. Mr. Mendes, I’m calling regarding your appointment tonight with Penny.”

He has the sudden urge to throw his phone on the bed and punch a pillow, throw a little temper tantrum. She’s cancelling. He can feel it. He’s been in Toronto sexless and desperate for 10 days thinking about seeing her again, feeling her again, making her come again. And now she’s ditching him.

“Yes?” he croaks miserably.

“There’s been a change of venue. Penny and her driver will meet you at the Bel Air Bay Club in the Pacific Palisades. We have texted you the address. Penny apologizes for the last minute change in plan and hopes you’re still able to join her.”

The roller coaster he seems to be on brings him back up to a peak. He grins and nods until he remembers Colette can’t see him through the phone.

“Yes! Yeah, no problem. 8:00 still?”

“Yes, 8:00. Thank you, Mr. Mendes. Enjoy your evening.”

Shawn is about five minutes from the turn off to the Bel Air Bay Club when the radio station he has on to block out the static in his head starts playing the Lost in Japan remix. He flinches and hits the off button on the stereo, looking around at the red light like he’s worried people stopped around him might think he’s listening to his own music. Truthfully, he doesn’t want anyone around him to notice him for any reason tonight. He feels safe enough for now.

He was immediately relieved when he realized Penny was not cancelling their date, but became slowly unnerved trying to riddle out why she didn’t have the service book a hotel room like their first dalliances. She’s changing the game. Why is she changing the game?

He knows he’s not in charge. That’s literally the point. Seeing her means seeing her on her terms and bending to her will and whims. So if driving out almost to Malibu is what she wants him to do, he’ll do it. But just when he was getting comfortable with this, or as comfortable as he can be when he’s regularly utilizing the services of a high priced call girl, she’s got him on edge again. Maybe she’s doing it on purpose. Maybe it’s a whole “domme” thing -- luring him like prey into a sense of security and then teasing him, faking him out to keep him on his toes.

He might be thinking too hard about this. Penny’s always trying to get his mind clear, not confuse or upset him. She wants to take care of him.

He swallows as the light turns green and he eyes his turn off a few hundred yards away. He hopes he’s dressed ok. He googled the Bay Club and it seems to just be an event space, not a restaurant or a hotel, which threw Shawn even further down the loop. He’s in black jeans, the good ones, the ones he wore before the Calvin Klein partnership that don’t have the big obnoxious CALVIN KLEIN JEANS patch on the back waistband, and an off white oxford with some embroidered detailing on the inside of the collar and the shirt pocket.

Are they staying here? He wonders as his Tesla hugs the curves of the road heading up the bluff to the Spanish style country club. Is she taking him to some kind of event? That would be weird. People know him. She can’t take him to stuff and expect him to be incognito. She wouldn’t do that, right? She’s been doing this a long time, she probably has had lots of famous clients that insist on staying under the radar.

He begins to spiral as the road does, dropping him right into the valet lane in front of the grand main building complete with cascading bougainvillea and an ornately sculpted fountain. He spots Gus standing under an overhang with his arms folded professionally looking like expensive private security. Shawn supposes that’s exactly what he is, actually.

The car rolls to a stop. He chokes down an inhale and rolls his window down when Gus gestures to him.

“Good evening, Mr. Mendes. Miss Penny is in the parking lot just around the corner there. May I see your--”

Shawn holds up the screenshot of his bank’s transfer confirmation on his phone with what he hopes is a smile and not a grimace but his whole stupid body is churning. Gus looks it over and nods, waving him toward the lot.

It’s nearly empty. There’s no event here tonight. It’s near sunset on a Tuesday in early June, but the dreaded LA June gloom is nowhere to be seen. Maybe Penny did away with that for them, Shawn muses absurdly as he steers the car toward the lot. She has power he doesn’t understand.

He stops the car in the middle of the lot, hitting the brakes a little too hard. He can’t even be bothered to park.

Propped up against a sleek black Aston Martin Vanquish S in a little white dress and beige leather driving gloves is Penny, looking somehow more like James Bond than one of his Bond girls. His brain pops and fizzles, giving out entirely. He swears he’s already hard in his jeans just from seeing the car. He releases a whimpered breath and gets his shit together enough to park beside her, not directly next to her for fear of bumping her car with his door.

He steps out on jello knees and stares at her, a burst of shocked laughter rumbling from his chest.

Penny grins and pats the hood affectionately.

“You wanna go for a ride?”

Does he ever.

The car growls as she shifts gears once they’re back on the PCH, cruising past ridiculous beach homes on their right and the Pacific on their left. He keeps looking down at her lap and the way her leg muscles flex and release as she works the pedals easily, like she’s been driving hundred thousand dollar sports cars since she got her license.

“How long have you had this?” he murmurs, gazing around at the blonde leather interior appreciatively.

“Two years. It’s my dream car.”

She strategically leaves out the part explaining that it was a gift from the North American president of Aston Martin for her birthday while he was her client. That’s need to know information.

“I think this is everyone’s dream car,” he snorts.

“I like your Tesla though,” she comments, shifting again, swerving around a couple hippies in a Jeep Wrangler without doors as easily as if she were brushing an ant off a windshield. Shawn’s stomach lurches in response and his skin tingles. There’s something incredibly sexy about a practiced, fearless driver.

“Yeah, it’s a good car,” he chirps, feeling silly about the boyish pride he felt when he bought it, like he was hot shit. Teslas are everywhere now, especially in LA. Aston Martins remain eternally cool. He finds himself oddly jealous.

“I don’t let just anyone in this car, you know,” she says, easing into a stop at a red light as they head north to Malibu. He looks over at her.

Her berry pink lips spread. He flushes.

“Oh no?”

He picks up on the implication that she means she doesn’t often take dates in this car. Where there was a hint of childish jealousy there’s now a swell of pleasure and pride.

“No, definitely not. There are many powerful men that are comfortable enough submitting themselves to me for sex but still can’t stomach being driven around by a young woman who’s a better driver than they are in a car that’s nicer than theirs.”

She lifts her leather gloved hand gracefully from the gearshift and drops it against his mid thigh, mashing her lips together as they enjoy the breeze coming in from the window.

“You’re saying you think I’m secure enough in my masculinity?” he jokes, but he feels himself flush a little.

Penny squeezes her fingers enough to make his whole body stiffen. She lifts the corner of her mouth in a smirk at his reaction.

“Exactly.”

Her voice is smooth and controlled, just like her driving as she springs forward on the green light. Shawn’s head tips back against the seat from the acceleration. He misses her hand as soon as she takes it away to attend to the gearshift.

He turns his head to watch her shamelessly, pressing his cheek into the warm leather headrest, admiring the way her dark hair flutters in the breeze.

“So where are we going?”

She smirks again in that way that always makes him ready to drop to his knees in surrender to her. That smile means she knows everything and controls it, too. He loves that smile. That smile is his freedom.

“Oh, you noticed this isn’t a hotel room?” she teases.

Shawn rolls his eyes and looks forward, watching the colors spread like spilled paint on a canvas as the sun begins to dip below the watery horizon. “Don’t need a hotel room to make you feel good, Penny.”

He feels her eyes and looks over to see her watching him, swiping her soft wet tongue against her lower lip. “Good to know.”

She dips around a curve and slows at another light, drumming her long slender fingers against the wheel. He watches them and can’t help but think about the last time they were together when she so generously let him watch her fuck herself and suck on her fingers after.

She seems to sense his antsiness and clears her throat. “Well, we are headed for a hotel room. I just wanted to take you on a little drive first. It’s not often I show off this car, like I said. And I like this part of the PCH.”

He settles, knowing there’s a bed for them at the end of this little journey. “Do you like the beach?”

“I love the beach,” she answers, nodding, “My favorite beach in the world is on Laucala Island in Fiji. It’s dead quiet and the snorkeling is the best I’ve ever seen.”

Shawn smiles. “So have you been, like, everywhere?”

“Well, I’ve been most everywhere on the Conde Nast Traveler’s Best Of list. There are still a lot of other places I’d like to visit.”

“Like where?”

“Like… Chicago. I’ve never been to Chicago,” she chuckles.

His eyebrows lift. “You’ve been to Fiji but not Chicago?”

She shrugs. “I know. Imagine missing out on all that deep dish pizza.”

Shawn laughs. “It makes sense though. Clients would rather fly you somewhere sexier than Chicago.”

There he goes, acknowledging the elephant in the back seat of the sportscar again. Penny nods appreciatively, but stays quiet. She still isn’t quite sure what to do about his insistence on reminding them both that she’s here with him in a professional capacity. He doesn’t even sound bitter or awkward about it, that’s the weirdest part. He just treats it like it’s a part of her life, and maybe he’s interested in her life and not just the insane orgasms she can dish out.

“What’s the craziest trip a client has taken you on?”

Penny chews on her lip. Shawn expects her to come away with lipstick on her teeth, but nothing. Figures. She’s perfect.

“I think… well, I can’t tell you who, obviously, but someone flew me to Mustique once on about four hours notice. I had to pack and get myself to LAX to catch the flight. And then we couldn’t get back for almost a week because of a hurricane on the east coast. But honestly, if I had to be stranded on any private island, I’d pick that one.”

Shawn grins and launches into a story about getting hounded by paps in Mexico with his family once. While Penny listens, she quietly marvels at how easily he handles her honesty about her job. She understands she’s not getting into the nitty gritty, not describing how many influential businessmen, politicians, musicians and actors she’s had on their knees for her, but still. Given the way he reacted the first time she flubbed and made mention of their professional arrangement, he seems oddly relaxed about it now.

She likes hearing him talk. She can see the way he settles down when he’s rattling away about something. He talks about his family and his crew and bandmates, weaving in and out of tangents with each breath. He doesn’t question it when she flips on her turn signal and edges them up a canyon path that leads up into the craggy hills, climbing away from the sunset.

He’s even still chattering when she shifts the car into park at the top of a bluff with a deserted lookout point that she knows and loves.

“... and anyway, I think the festival thing will be good, ya know? It’ll take my mind off all the shit leading into releasing the next album. Or, hopefully it will.”

He looks around and registers that they’ve stopped. He clears his throat and smiles sheepishly, tilting his head back against the headrest. His curls flop boyishly over his forehead, bathed in violet light from the sunset.

“I haven’t shut up for fifteen minutes at least, eh?”

Penny shakes her head, amused. “You haven’t, but that’s perfectly fine with me.”

Shawn understands that. It’s better if he talks than if she does. Her job is probably one that she tries not to put too much of her real self into. He imagines he wouldn’t, if he were in her position. Too messy.

He tries not to feel the pang of… something that flares in his chest when he looks at her and wonders how much of the little she shares of herself is real.

“I wanted you to see this view while the sun was still setting.”

He nods and settles in. They unbuckle their seatbelts. She reaches for her phone that’s plugged into the stereo and selects a playlist. Shawn closes his eyes, stretches out his legs as much as is possible in the sleek sports car and sighs.

“This is nice. I feel, like… really good around you.”

He doesn’t even flinch when he feels her fingers on his neck, the soft buttery leather tracing up his jugular vein to run along his jaw and tangle in the hair at his nape.

“That’s good.”

He keeps his eyes shut and breathes into her touch, letting Frank Sinatra’s voice flood out anything that isn’t Penny related. His aching brain welcomes the cleanse.

“Do you feel good around me?” he hums.

“I do,” she responds, pulling her hand back from him. He opens his eyes to see her carefully slipping out of her driving gloves. The action is erotic in a Victorian sort of way, despite the fact that if he glanced down he’d see a lot more leg than was ever shown in that era. He loves her hands, though. They’re fucking gorgeous hands. He thinks about them on a piano or a guitar and it makes him breathe a little harder.

She tucks the gloves away in the center console. Shawn swallows and blinks at her, hoping his big brown eyes can entice her into touching him with her bare fingers. He doesn’t even care where, not yet.

“So you like Sinatra?” he rasps.

He gets a nice little smile out of her. “I love Sinatra. I listen to a lot of that kind of music. The Rat Pack, anything from the 40s and 50s. My best friend Silver tells me I have an old soul.”

“Silver. That’s a cool name.”

Penny wets her lips and pushes a hand through her floaty blow out. “I’m not sure it’s real, but I don’t mind. She runs La Splendeur. We’ve known each other a long time.”

Shawn squirrels away this piece of information, knowing somehow in his gut that it’s the truth. He doesn’t think Penny lies to him much, if ever -- she just doesn’t offer a lot of specifics. When she does, he hoards them like a starving man.

“I thought about you so much in the last week,” he sighs, sounding resigned. As he keeps his eyes down at his lap, he sees her hand appear again, resting on his thigh. It’s warmer without her little glove. He takes a chance and places his on top of hers, massaging her wrist gently with his rough fingers.

“What did you think about?” she asks.

He looks up at her and sees all the little details his brain failed him on when he was away from her. She has little freckles on her shoulders, bared by the thin straps of her dress. She has a little scar on the cut of her jaw. Her lips are full and round but slightly uneven so when she purses them a certain way it looks like a sexy little scowl.

“Thought about touching you,” he muses, letting his greedy eyes rake over the rest of her, “Tasting you. I really… I love the way you taste, Penny.”

She slides down in her seat, sighing heavily, letting her legs fall open as much as the footwell will allow. Shawn’s mouth goes instantly dry.

“I wonder what you’ll do for me if I let you have another taste.”

She looks over to see Shawn’s eyes looking wild and needy. She has to tamp down a satisfied grin to keep her facade.

“Anything you want, Pen. I’ll make you come so good. As many times as you want. It can be like the other night, you know? Or… or whatever you want.”

Penny reaches out and cups his chin in her hand. He leans into it like an attention-starved house cat, practically nuzzling into her palm as his eyes flutter.

“Anything I want?” she purrs, pressing her fingertips into his jaw teasingly. He swallows a moan and nods as much as he can in her tight grip.

“Anything. Wanna be so good for you, Pen.”

She licks her pillowy lips and releases him. He inhales sharply, watching as she pushes her door open and steps out. Before he can react, ask what she’s doing or even open his door to try to follow her lead, she steps out of her vibrant pink Manolos and easily unzips her dress all the way to the hem, pushing it off her shoulders until it lands in the dust at her feet. Shawn groans at all her sweet soft skin, still evenly bronzed, her tight brown nipples puckering in the cool evening breeze. Her nude satin thong joins the rest of her expensive clothes. Shawn’s eyes focus on her, on the soft little patch of dark hair that crowns her pussy, on the memory of how wet he got her the last time they were together. He struggles to keep himself together.

She leans into the driver’s side, her breasts swinging as she lowers her head to kiss him. He sucks at her lower lip and hums into her mouth, the first taste of release as sweet as he remembers.

“Come here, Shawn,” she says firmly, jerking her head as she drops herself back into the driver’s seat, this time with her back to him, seated sideways facing her open door.

Shawn leaps out of the car, slams his door and hustles around the hood, barely slowing as he drops to his knees in front of her.

“Ah, ah, ah,” she chastises, plucking his hungry hands off her thighs as he braces himself to bury his face in her.

He looks up, bewildered but willing. She presses a finger to his lips, watches him kiss her skin while he stares up at her like it’s second nature to him.

“Stand up and turn around.”

His jaw snaps shut, the muscle twitching in protest like it does when he doesn’t get what he wants right away. Ever obedient, though, he stands and turns away.

Penny reaches into the glove compartment and comes out with a white silk tie from her favorite fetish set. She drops it in her lap and reaches for his hands, clasping them together behind his back. She binds him wrist over wrist like an expert.

His exhale whistles through his nose as his chest deflates. “Jesus, Penny.”

“I know,” she whispers soothingly. She’s been watching him all night. She knows how badly he wants to touch her. Taking that away is almost cruel, but it’s for a good cause.

With a gentle push from her, he turns and kneels again, watching as she props herself up, spreading her legs for him, arm up on the center console.

Shawn keeps his eyes on her despite how badly he wants to stare at her body. Her nose twitches against a powerful smirk. She rolls her hips forward slightly and watches him suck in a desperate breath.

“Want my pussy, Shawn?”

He nods almost frantically.

“Use your words.”

“Yes,” he croaks, his eyes flashing at hers, “Please. I need your pussy.”

She casually shrugs a hand into her hair and sighs. “Good. Because I want your mouth.”

Shawn lurches toward her, his shoulders pulling together as he buries his face in her warm wet folds. She mewls, smiling at his eagerness, rolling her hips slowly as he whimpers into her, trying to get his bearings before he can get totally lost in her perfect cunt.

He eases back slightly to focus on sucking on her outer lips, lifting his eyes to look at her as he tastes what he missed so much in the last week.

“That better, Shawn? You feel better now that you’re tasting me?”

He nods without lifting his head, swiping his tongue out to take long, broad licks of her, sweeping up all he can. When he can look up at her, her abdominal muscles quake, reacting to the heady desire in his eyes. She grunts, lifting her chin to urge him on.

“Yeah, feels so fucking good,” she mutters, letting her head fall back as she basks in it.

He knows what she likes now. After spending hours worshipping her pussy before he left for Toronto, he’s learned all the tricks, experimented carefully with pressure and position and speed and anything else he could think of to watch her perfect fucking thighs tremble next to his head and hear her make her pretty noises. Once she got comfortable with him between her knees, she started to talk dirty, praising him, swearing, generally moaning filth. He thinks he likes that maybe even more than her little whimpers.

But nothing’s better than when she screams.

Shawn starts slow, warming her up until she’s absolutely dripping on his tongue. He courses slow, deliberate circles around her entrance, just dipping inside and watching her chest rise with her inhale before he swipes at her lips some more, humming to drive her a little crazy. She likes the teasing, though. She likes the slow burn. He gives her what she wants.

“Like watching you suck on my clit with your pretty pink lips,” she half-whines, her foot slipping a little as she starts to fade closer to orgasm. He takes the hint and flicks at her swollen bud once, twice with his stiff tongue and then sucks it into his mouth with a satisfied groan.

“Yes,” she hisses, gripping his hair in one hand and the edge of her leather seat with the other, “Fuck, that’s so good. You’re so good for me.”

Shawn preens, sucking harder, then letting up on pressure, then going hard again. He can feel her orgasm coiled in her abdomen. She just has to let him release it. He alternates sucking and brushing his tongue against her entrance until she’s yanking at his hair, sitting up straighter.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna come on your tongue,” she chants, nodding, eyes squeezed shut.

She opens them, looks down to see his hands straining behind his back, still bound for her as he sucks at her pussy like it’s the fucking fountain of youth.

She explodes. She holds his face down against her, rides it out against his mouth. Her legs spasm, feet slipping from where they’re propped beside him. Her cheeks are flooded red, her eyes glassy and dark as she swears his name. He doesn’t let up until she’s pulling his head away with a fist in his hair. He licks his lips and smiles -- it’s not a smirk or a simper. He smiles at her like he’s never been happier to see her. She grins back, giggling effusively.

“How was that?” he grunts, even though he knows. He wants to hear it. He deserves it.

“Perfect, Shawn. So… fuck, so good. Your mouth is amazing. You make me feel…” she sighs again through a drowsy grin, “You get me so high, baby.”

Baby.

His ears go as red as his cheeks. He ducks his head shyly, feeling his chest burn as his heart rattles like an angry kettle in his chest. One word, a word he’s been called a hundred times, a pet name he sings in songs he writes for women that don’t exist, and it has him reeling. He manages to raise his eyes again. She’s watching him fondly.

“You like that?” she whispers, cradling the back of his head as she reaches down behind him to free his hands. They go limp at his sides. He makes no move to touch her.

What a good boy.

He nods, uncertain. “I like that.”

“We all want to feel wanted, Shawn,” she coos, nudging him back up on his feet. She grins at the patches of dirt on the knees of his dark jeans. She offers him her hand and he helps her stand now in the crisp blue light of new dusk.

“Kiss me, baby,” she breathes, reaching for his waist. A weak noise of eagerness slips from his throat as he pulls her in, tucks her warm, orgasm-flushed body against his and lets her taste herself on his tired tongue. Just as he’s settling in, just as he gets comfortable and starts toying with tangling his fingers in the ends of her hair and massaging her cheek with his thumb, she pulls away, poker face firmly in place.

“Can you get my coat from the trunk?” She seals her request with a perfunctory peck against his lips.

He nods, letting himself look her over, naked and proud on this bluff above the ocean like there’s no one around for a thousand miles. He pops the trunk and opens her suitcase. A Burberry trench coat sits on top. He blinks and lifts it out. He’s about to ask if this is all she plans on wearing tonight when he catches sight of what else is in the suitcase.

He peeks his head around the trunk to look at her.

“Is… that for me?”

She places a hand on her hip and shrugs. “Dunno. Guess we’ll find out tonight.”

Shawn’s heart bounces into his throat. His fingers tighten around the jacket.

“Jesus… Christ.”

Penny smiles and looks down at her feet as she takes slow steps toward the back of the car. She pries the jacket from his clawed hands and slips it on over her bare body, tying it at the waist.

She looks up at him under soft, hooded lids. She sinks her teeth into her lower lip and cocks her head. “Ever tried one?”

He swallows like a fucking cartoon character and shakes his head.

“I think you’ll like it,” she purrs, flipping her hair out from under her collar and turning on her heel. She crouches, gathers up her dusty clothes and tosses them into the backseat. She slips back into her heels and lowers into the driver’s seat, turning the key in the ignition.

The car growls. Shawn shivers. She pops her head out the driver’s side door and raises her eyebrows.

“Coming?”

Definitely.

----------

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

Text

Survey #274

“now i can hear the marching feet / they’re moving into the street”

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? I only have a black one. Is your dream job attainable? I mean define “dream job.” I’d ideally be a meerkat biologist if I was willing to live in Africa and could handle even mild heat, but I can’t/won’t do either of those, so it’s not obtainable to me. I’d also love to be a paleontologist if I could travel and handle heat once more, but again, I can’t. My only *attainable* dream job is being a photographer, which I am aiming for. I’d LIKE to focus on nature/wildlife photography, but that’s unlikely to be able to support me, so. Do you have to go to school or work tomorrow? N/A Have you slept for longer than usual today? Yes, but only because of my nightmares. I tend to take at least two (though sometimes one) hour-long naps during the day because if I wake up once during the night, as I usually do, I’m fucked because I’m very likely to have an intense nightmare. It seems like the medicine I’m on wears off with consciousness, I guess. I only allow myself to sleep an hour at daytime because my mother has noticed if I have a nightmare, it’s usually no earlier than one hour into sleep. Even then I still have them occasionally. Have you ever taken classes for a musical instrument? Recorder in elementary school was necessary for whatever stupid reason, and then I played the flute for years. Out of school, I took guitar lessons for a while. I got semi-decent (at best I could do the intro to “Crazy Train” at normal speed, I think), but it didn’t last because it was annoying/time-consuming to build up the calluses that make playing painless, I was really bad at overthinking where my fingers were, and I just wasn’t invested quite enough. I’ll tell you, it gave me mad respect for guitarists, that shit isn’t easy by any means. Have you ever been on vacation with someone other than your family? Yes, though it was brief. I was a kid (okay, pre-teen, w/e) still in my separation anxiety from Mom phase and it was literally because of me we had to go home. I still feel shitty about it, though no one seemed upset at me. How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? Who the fuck even knows anymore. Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? No; N/A; yes ultimately but no at the current moment because I have to keep watch over Mom. If you wear make-up, which brand of foundation/powder do you use? N/A Would you call yourself a “people” person? Nope. What is one change you need to make in your life this month? Just one??? What’s been tugging on your heart lately? My PTSD plus self-image has been very, very bad. What is the last thing you did that made you feel guilty? Mom had to clean up my cat’s projectile vomit even though she’s supposed to stay away from this kinda stuff through chemo. I literally cannot fucking touch vomit, never mind what came out of him that night. I felt like absolute fucking shit and I still do because WOW I’m a great adult right!! Do you have any physical traits that are bothering you lately? Like, everything. What kind of dog is your favorite? I’m biased to beagles. What was the last thing you received in the mail? A book. What is the last thing you wrote? Like, physically? My signature at the doctor’s office. Do you still care about the person you first kissed? Way fucking more than I should. Do you require a lot of private time? Definitely more than most people. Do you have any songs currently stuck in your head? I haven’t listened to it in forever for ~reasons~, yet “The Mortician’s Daughter” is stuck in my head badly and really needs to fuck off. What was the last song you downloaded? I dunno, I went on a download binge a while back. Have you ever read a really funny book? I remember at least one. “Bite Me” by IDR-Who. Some vampire satire. Have you ever done something humiliating while drunk? Never reached the point of being drunk. How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? fuckin YIKES I am NOT attractive rn go away Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? HAHA my mom has always had the decency to knock, not so much his mom a;lwkejrewoei but the answer’s still no. What electronics are in your room? (DVD player, CD player, etc) This laptop, my phone, a Nintendo DS, my iPod… Do you have a box anywhere with special items you'll to keep forever in it? Yes, actually. Grew up calling them “treasure boxes.” Do you have any pictures of yourself on your bedroom walls? Lol no, I’d definitely prefer to not see myself as much as I can. That sounds melodramatic, but I’m being serious. It either depresses me or makes me angry. Does your dad collect anything? The Cleveland Browns’ football team stuff, for one. Maybe Carolina Hurricane stuff, too? Idk. I don’t live with him and don’t go in his “man cave” at his house often ha ha. What's better, a desktop or laptop? Explain. A laptop. Portable; that’s all the explanation ya really need. Do your parents still hide chocolate eggs around on Easter for you? Nah. What do you typically do on Easter Day? We go to my sister’s house to watch the kids do their egg hunting and open their gifts, then we usually go to Ashley’s in-laws’ for dinner. Is there anyone you literally need to exist? Apparently not. Thought so. Never let yourself into that state of mind. What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand-written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? Oh, a hand-written poem would wreck me, yeesh. Or a drawing. But any would be very sweet. Do you remember why you made the last mistake you did? I don’t know the most recent mistake, but probably because I’m just in general a terrified person who second-guesses or overanalyzes everything. Did you check how many calories the last thing you ate had? Yes. I’m back on my calorie-counting obsession again. Are your nails long or short? Short, always. I can’t keep them long. What is your favorite kind of cookie? Just the ordinary chocolate chip is fine. What was the last compliment you received? I don’t know. Who will be the next person you kiss? I normally delete this question because the answer should be so obvious, but I feel like just pointing it out that no one fucking knows who they’re gonna kiss next. It’s a dangerous mindset. Don’t make assumptions about what you’ll have even tomorrow. Have you ever made your own icon? Yeah, on many sites. They’re just about always just edits, though, not truly original work. What color is your computer mouse? It’s black. Have you ever been sung to on your birthday in a restaurant? Yes. Do you like black olives? I don’t like olives period. Do you actually think there will be a zombie apocolypse? Personally, no. I do think it’s scientifically possible, we already see this in insects, but I just don’t imagine it happening to humans before we’re our own downfall. Do you like the person you’ve become over the past years? Fuck no. Have you ever gone to church just to get a significant other? … No…? Have you ever punched a wall out of complete anger? No, that shit is terrifying. Are you really ticklish? YES don’t fucking touch me. How do you decide what you're going to eat each day? I just follow what I’m craving that day. How are you similar to your siblings? Different? Compared to Ashley and Nicole at least, I can’t think of any real similarities off the top of my head. They’re intelligent, motivated, outgoing, successful, yada yada, then there’s me. What's your favorite type of non-fiction literature? Autobiographies by people I’m actually interested in. Do you believe in souls? Soulmates? Souls, absolutely. Soulmates, no. It’s fairytale ideation to think your soul has a perfect match with another, hate to break it to ya. Favorite soundtrack? BITCH don’t make me choose between Shadow of the Colossus and Silent Hill 2. Fucking masterpieces. Pianos or guitars? *shrugs* Depends on the music and my mood. Did an animal ever bite you? Never seriously. How many languages do you speak? Only English fluently. I’m poor at German by now. Wiggly worms or bumble bees? Worms gross me out, bees are Good Boys. Religion? I don’t really identify with any. I just believe there’s some form of ultimate intelligence and essences beyond just the body, and that’s all I even pretend to know. Fog, thunder, or rain? Fog gives me that Silent Hill Vibe *Italian kiss* What regret keeps coming back to haunt you daily? The way I treated Jason after the breakup. If you could cure yourself of one allergy, what would it be? Damn pollen. Do you know anyone else with your name? Yeah. What would you be most afraid of happening if you were to visit Africa? Viruses or botflies. Where are you tempted to move to sometimes? I very legitimately want to live in Canada by now, but I won’t because I’m not moving that far from family. Who seems like they have the perfect life? I try not to make that assumption of anyone. Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? Does taking pictures of roadkill count???? lmao probably Do you think it would be a good idea to post photos of negative moments as well as positive? Well… I guess it depends. Like ngl, the pictures some people share of them having panic attacks to just show how fucking real they are definitely touch you, as do those depicting poverty, etc., BUT I really do think there are limits and also differences in motivations. What time zone are you in? EST. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? Wow, speaking of. No. ^Why or why not? I am an UGLY cry-er, my man. But I also just don’t want people to see that, and it’s definitely not on my mind to take a picture during a breakdown. What was the last thing you cried about? My life. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yes. Do you know anyone who has twins? Yes. Where do you buy calendars from? I don’t. Do you shop at the dollar store often? Not *often*, but we’ll stop by for a snack or something sometimes. Are you following in the career path of any family members? No. Do you feel you missed out on a lot as a kid? I guess in some ways. Who was that best friend you ever had? Sara. What color is your laptop? Black. What are five careers you think you’d be good at? My work history has shown I can’t do shit right. Are you thriving in your life right now? lmao no one is in 2020. Who do you have moral support from? My family, doctor, and a few friends. Who encourages you to go after your dreams? The same as above. Do you have people in your family who want you dead? Wow, I hope not. Do you have a walk-in closet? No, but my room at the new house will. :’) Not that I need one, it’s just pretty cool. How do you feel about people like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, and Jeff Bezos having so much power and control in the world? Do you believe that any one person should have so much power? Let’s be real, in our current world, money is power, and no one should have that much control of the world, especially if your intentions are bad. NOW I don’t know jack shit about any of those are far as morals go, but just saying. It’s dangerous. Has your anxiety alone ever prevented you from doing something you wanted to do? This is ACTUALLY the story of my fucking life. Do you enjoy reading stories and novels that are heavily stylistic, poetic, or unconventional or do you prefer your prose to follow a familiar grammatical structure? Okay, I LOVE those, like Johnny Got His Gun and The Handmaid’s Tale that’s kinda like, run-on writing. Just letting a train of thought go. Those are two of the most powerful books I’ve ever read and they’re both written in a unique fashion. Have you ever fallen for any sort of Internet-based hoax? (e.g., fake celeb death, satire news article…) I’m sure at some point, especially as a kid. Do you tend to read reviews before you watch a movie or read a book? What do you hope to get out of doing so? NO. I don’t wanna have any precognition. When you go to a concert, how far must you travel for the most usual venues you visit? Most are on the other end of the state, and NC is long, so. We’re lucky if they come to Raleigh. Do you rent movies frequently? I never do, really. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Take pictures or swim. What’s your favorite meal to cook? I don’t cook. What movie has been taken WAY too far, as far as sequels go? Oh, I’m sure there are some, but none immediately come to mind. I’m not that into movies. Do you refuse to eat certain foods because of what they look like? Yes. I am VERY poor at getting past how a food looks. What are you listening to? NSP’s cover of “Don’t Fear The Reaper.” It’s fuckin gorgeous. How much homework do you have tonight? N/A Are you wearing any bracelets? Yes; one that Sara got me as well as an ovarian cancer awareness one. What's physically wrong with you right now? JINKIES I just feel really lethargic like always. Do you take any medications daily? Ha ha thanks for actually reminding me I need to now. When was the last time you moved to a new house? Two years ago, and now we’ll be moving to a much better place by the end of this month/early September, finally. When it comes to relationships, are you the jealous type? Nah. Which gift cards do you have in your wallet? Idk actually. It’s not like I use it a lot. Can you remember the last time you felt ill? What was wrong with you? A few nights ago. I was extremely hot, dizzy, and pretty nauseated. I was fine, though. If you wear make-up, do you take it with you, to reapply throughout the day? Does your make-up stay for a long time after you first apply it, or do you find that you need to reapply often? Are you wearing any make-up atm? I pretty much never wear makeup so have never really had a reason to reapply it. I’m definitely not wearing any now. Does your kitchen have a theme? No. Do you like ice cream sandwiches? GIRL yes. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. They’re more comfortable imo but more importantly block out exterior noise very well. Are you a fan of any independent films? ngl, I don’t know exactly what that is and I don’t feel like looking it up. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I very genuinely think some of the RP stories I’ve taken part in are novel-worthy, yes. I wanted to make them books when I was younger, but now I no longer do mainly because there are areas that are just way too fucking dark that I don’t wanna put out there but play massive parts in the stories, so like… Do you regularly watch the news? I never do. Facebook is my “news” source lmao. Who was the last person you video-chatted with? I don’t remember for sure, maybe some doctor? What do you want the theme of your wedding to be? I don’t really think about this, seeing as my mind has changed enough, and it also depends on what my partner wants, too. Have you ever been caught passing a note in class? Noooo, I absolutely hated passing notes because I was genuinely a good student. I only did so very, very rarely if another friend started it. Have you ever had dandruff? I have dandruff AND a dry scalp. It’s a wonderful mix. Have you ever gone through a phase of crushing on EVERYONE? Definitely not. Do you have any clothes with spikes/studs on them? I have a spiked choker, and I might still have gloves with studs? Can you remember what you last clapped for? My mom’s birthday! :’) Have you ever given a pet to someone else? Yes, with cats; we had to do that quite often when I was a kid because we had so many cats, none which we could afford to fix. Then we’ve done it with two dogs we just couldn’t handle. Oh yeah, I gave my iguana away too because he was too high maintenance for me, but also because he DESPERATELY needed a much bigger terrarium, which we couldn’t afford. I absolutely could not watch him in that tiny tank. I miss him a LOT, but he went to a wonderful home! The lady who adopted him sent me pictures upon pictures months after taking him in. Do you know anyone named Walter? No. What's your least favorite ice-cream flavor? Strawberry is fucking disgusting. And that’s coming from someone whose favorite fruit is strawberries. What's your least favorite song by your favorite artist? I’m not sure. There’s a handful that just don’t grab my attention that I don’t even remember them. What was the last good news you heard? I can FINALLY talk to my psychiatrist tomorrow. Who’s your favorite singer of all time? Probably Freddie Mercury. What airline do you fly most? Idk, I don’t really pay attention. I haven’t flown very often though anyway. Do you have a dog that is destructive? I don’t have a dog. What’s one TV series you’ve seen every episode of? Meerkat Manor is the most obvious, ha ha. Maaaaany times. Assuming you have Facebook, who last left you a wallpost? Probably my friend Sammi. Assuming you have hair, how are you wearing it today? It’s too short for me to “wear” it any particular way. It’s just… there lmao. Assuming you're not homeless, what kind of living arrangements do you have? I live with my mom in a house she’s renting. Have you or have you ever considered messing around with the same sex? I’m bisexual so you can guess I’m not opposed to it. Are you particular about any brands of food you will or will not eat? Are there any restaurants you refuse to go to? Brands, no. I don’t eat Chick-fil-a because they’re run by fucking homophobic bigots that monetarily support conversion therapy and other anti-LGBT projects. I’m not giving you any fucking money. What was the most current dream you can remember about? Do you generally dream every night, or hardly at all? It was actually last night, when I dreamed about accidentally running into Jason where I last knew he worked, and he was really hostile. If I don’t take my medicine, I always have nightmares when I sleep.

#survey #quiz #questions #questionnaire

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doomedhowell · 6 years

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Easter Surprises

Summary: Louise has invited Dan and Phil to an Easter Egg Hunt event that she takes Darcy to every year. Phil is unsure of why they agreed to go to this, but Dan seems excited about it, so he ultimately agrees to go. While at the event, surrounded by kids, Dan has a sudden realization that surprises Phil.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1,700

Trigger Warnings: mentions of depression

This is written for the @phandomficfests! Thank you so much to @nqkedbooths for being my beta for this once again! :)

“I can’t believe we’re actually going to this,” Phil mumbles as he fixes his hair in the mirror.

“Why not? It’ll be fun,” Dan replies with a shrug. Phil raises his eyebrows as he looks over at his boyfriend, surprised to hear him say such a thing. “Okay, who are you and what have you done with the Dan that I know?” He asks, somewhat jokingly. Dan rolls his eyes. “Come on, what’s so bad about an Easter Egg hunt?” “Nothing’s bad about it. It’s just not the type of thing we really do normally,” Phil says. “Well,” Dan sighs softly, “Maybe we should change that. Besides, Louise invited us. We have to go. Plus, her new baby is so cute. I’ve been dying to see Pearl again since the last time we saw her.” Phil finally smiles and nods in agreement. “Yeah, she was really cute, huh?” “Yeah, she was,” Dan agreess. “I’m kind of digging this pastel look though,” Dan looks down at the outfit he’s got on to wear for the Easter Egg event that they’re going to. It’s rare when he wears light colors, mostly his wardrobe consists of black clothes, though Louise specifically told the two men to dress appropriately for the event, knowing already of how they dress normally, so they have no choice. “You do look nice. You should wear pastel colors more often,” Phil replies with a smile. Dan snorts. “You and I both know that’s never going to happen,” he says. “Black is my aesthetic, Phil.” Phil chuckles and rolls his eyes. “Okay, I think I’m ready…” “It’s about time, geez,” Dan reaches over and grabs his phone from his and Phil’s shared bed. “Let’s go, then. I don’t wanna be late. We promised Lou we’d be there on time.” “Hey,” Phil walks over to Dan and then he gently kisses him, surprising Dan at the action. “I know that I’ve been complaining about this, but… I really am excited about it. It’s rare when we get to do stuff like this.” Dan smiles as he looks at Phil, kissing him once more. “I know, I’m excited too. We’re gonna have fun,” “Yeah,” Phil nods. He grabs Dan’s hand and leads the way out of the bedroom. The two boys finally make it to the church a little bit later, where the Egg Hunt is being held — thankfully, they’re on time, which surprises both Dan and Phil because somehow they’re usually always late. “I see Lou!” Dan exclaims excitedly as they pull into the parking lot and park the car. Dan eagerly gets out of the car, and then stops to look around for a second. “Wow. I didn’t expect so many people to be here.” “Lot of children too,” Phil adds as he walks beside Dan. “Yeah, obviously, come on. Let’s go say hi to Louise,” Dan grins. He reaches over and grabs Phil’s hand without thinking, and Phil panics for a moment once their hands are linked, as the two are not yet out to their viewers. “Hey. You alright?” Dan instantly notices the expression on Phil’s face changing. “Yeah, sorry,” Phil chuckles, and relaxes a little. It’s unlikely that a viewer of theirs will be here anyways, so there’s no need for him to panic. He just wants to have fun with Dan and his friends. “Dan! Phil!” Louise exclaims excitedly when she spots the two boys, there’s a smile on her face, as she points her vlogging camera to Dan and Phil, and Dan quickly lets go of Phil’s hand as soon as he sees the camera. There’s been one too many times where Dan and Phil were in the background of other youtubers vlogs that would suggest they’re together. “It’s just my favorite people in the world.” “Aw, hi Lou!” Phil greets as he pulls Louise into a hug. “How are you?” “I’m doing well,” Louise replies as she hugs Dan next. “I’m so glad you could make it!” “Of course. We wouldn’t miss something like this. Plus, it’s rare when we go outside,” Dan replies. “Yeah, like… what is this? What are those?” Phil asks as he points to some trees. Dan chuckles and shakes his head, knowing Phil is just playing around for Louise’s vlog. “So, Louise… where’s the little one at?” He asks, once he realizes Darcy and Pearl aren't around. Louise chuckles and puts away her camera. “She’s with her dad somewhere, catching up with family,” “Okay, well… I’m not leaving until I’ve held her for at least five seconds. Just letting you know,” Dan says jokingly, but also being somewhat serious at the same time. He couldn’t stop talking and thinking about the newborn baby. “I’m telling you. She’s the most precious little thing I’ve ever seen.” Louise beams. “Aw! Thanks Dan,” she says. “We’re so happy with her. She’s our little angel.” Phil raises his eyebrows as he watches Dan chat to Louise about Pearl and Darcy. Ever since they met her the first time, Phil can’t help but notice how Dan’s been talking about children and babies. Dan’s never even thought about children before. He wonders if meeting Pearl gave Dan baby fever. “Look! The event is starting! Oh there goes Darcy!” Louise grins proudly as she watches Darcy take off with all the other children to get the easter eggs. “Darcy has been talking about this all week!” “I can imagine,” Phil chuckles. “I’ve never seen so many children in my life.” Dan smiles as he watches all the children run around, but then frowns as he watches an older boy snatch a easter egg right from a little boy’s hand, causing the younger to start crying. “Dan, where are you going?” Phil asks, concern in his voice, as Dan starts walking away. Dan approaches the little boy and then he bends down to his height. “Hey, sweetheart. It’s alright, Look, over there,” he points towards the bushes where there are a couple eggs that haven’t been touched yet. He gently leads the little boy over to the bushes and smiles as the boy happily picks up the easter eggs, placing them in his bucket, then taking off to go find more. Dan smiles as he watches him, and then he lets out a soft sigh. “Dan?” Phil asks, approaching him. “What was that all about?” Dan stands up and looks at Phil. “Didn’t you see that kid take the egg from the little boy?” “No,” Phil shakes his head. “That’s horrible though. The boy is okay?” “Yeah, he is okay, I helped him get some more eggs,” Dan explains quietly, eyebrows knitted together . “God, I just couldn’t stand seeing him cry like that, Phil.” Phil smiles and gently rubs his back. “That was really sweet of you to do, Dan,” Dan smiles. “Yeah, thanks,” he says, and they walk back over to Louise, where Darcy is showing off all the eggs she’s managed to get so far. “Wow, and the event just started like five minutes ago…” “Louise did say she’s been talking about this all week,” Phil chuckles. “That’s wonderful, Darcy. Hurry and get some more before they’re all gone!” Louise tells her. Darcy giggles as she runs past Dan and Phil to get more eggs. Dan frowns, and looks over at Phil, quickly grabbing his hand. “Phil, I want a baby…” He begins. Phil blinks a few times, shocked to hear Dan say such a thing. “I’m sorry. Repeat that again?” He asks. “Phil,” Dan shakes him a few times. “Please. I’m old enough now, and I’ve been better. My depression isn’t as bad as it used to be. We can make this work. Please?”

“I know you have been, and I’m so proud of you for working on your depression,” Phil sighs softly.

“And you know I’ll keep working on it. I wouldn’t have suggested this if I wasn’t ready,” Dan says. “Dan, hold on now. Raising a child is a lot of responsibility. I mean, this is another life we’re talking about. We can hardly keep our plants alive. How are we meant to look after a baby?” Phil asks. “With time and practice,” Dan argues. “I can’t stop thinking about having my own baby to look after.” Phil sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Dan, this will change everything,” he says. Dan gently grabs a hold of Phil’s arm and kisses his cheek. “Sometimes change is good,” he whispers. “Look, I know this is a lot to think about. I just think we’re ready. You’re thirty now, Phil. You’ve always talked about wanting kids for as long as I can remember.” Phil stares at Dan, knowing that he’s right. “This is something you really want?” “Yes,” Dan replies, nodding his head excitedly. “Believe me, this isn’t a last second decision.” “You’re positive? We can’t go back on this once we’ve made the final decision,” Phil adds. “I know,” Dan bites his lip slightly. “I’m not saying we go and adopt a kid tomorrow. I know we’ll need time to get everything ready and do research and shit like that. I get that.” Phil chuckles. “The first thing we need to work on is your swearing,” he kisses Dan. Dan smiles as he looks up at Phil. “So, what are you saying, Phil?” “If this is what you really want, then I’m totally on board with it,” Phil says. “Of course I’m ready for a kid. You’re right, I’m thirty years old now. I don’t want to have to wait another year. I’m ready. I just want to make sure we know everything we need to know about raising a child before we bring one home.” Dan gasps and flings his arms around Phil, hugging him tightly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Phil laughs as he hugs Dan back. “I love you,” he whispers. “I love you too,” Dan whispers as he closes his eyes. He looks up at his boyfriend and smiles. “And I can’t wait ‘til we can do this with our own little one. I know they will be the best memories we have together.” “You’re right about that,” Phil grins, and kisses Dan once more.

#phanfiction #phanfic #phan #fluff #easter #holiday #louise #parent!phan #100

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lalka-laski · 4 years

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You ever played Call Of Duty? Did you like it? Are you into those types of video games at all? I was never into any type of video games. Just not my scene.

Do you like to cook for people, or do you order to be cooked for? Has anyone ever told you that you were a good cook? I love cooking for others, despite my nervousness sometimes. I find it so fulfilling! And I have been complimented on my cooking skills and creativity a number of times.

Do you have any clocks in your house that chime when the hour changes? Do those types of clocks annoy you? Nope. Those clocks don’t really bug me unless I’m trying to sleep. But then again, ANY NOISE bugs me when I’m trying to sleep.

Has anyone ever let you borrow some of their music, promising you’d love it, but you really didn’t? Did you lie to the person and agree, or tell the truth, that you hated it? More often than not, I don’t vibe with the music people suggest to me. I guess i just have to stumble upon new songs naturally, I can’t be TOLD to listen to something. It sets me up for failure.

What is your usual hair style? Do you tend to wear the same style every day, or do you switch it up a lot? I’ve been wearing it down and au naturel lately, with the occasional messy bun or high ponytail thrown in. I’m not very adventurous with my hair.

Have you had the same doctor pretty much your whole life, or have you went to a bunch of different ones over the years? Have you ever been to the doctor thinking something was horribly wrong with you, but it turned out to be something minor? I had the same pediatrician from infancy to early adulthood. I then switched to a GP and I’ve seen her consistently ever since.

I honestly have never visited the doctor expecting something dire. Which is funny considering my debilitating anxiety & paranoia!

Do you prefer to go out to get ice cream, or do you just like to get the kind you keep in your freezer? What flavor do you usually get? I love all ice creams equally. It doesn’t matter what flavor, or where I eat it- it’s all delightful to me!

Do you look forward to the holidays, or do you dread them? What holiday is your least favorite, and why? I love most holidays, especially now that my family has expanded! In fact, I like them so much that I can’t think of a “least favorite.”

Is the background on your phone a default picture, or a picture you took? What is the picture of? It’s a picture of my baby girl! I actually didn’t take it though, her mom did.

What is your favorite type of print (ex: zebra, stripes, argyle)? Do you have a lot of things with this print on it? Anyone who knows me knows I love a good floral!

Are there any stores you feel uncomfortable going into (ex: if you dress girly, do you feel uncomfortable going into Hot Topic)? Are there any stores that you refuse, or just never go in to? I’m a bit too old to feel “uncomfortable” going into a store that doesn’t quite cater to my style. And I like to think most people aren’t that close-minded. Or are they? And no, there are no stores I refuse to go in.

Do you look in mirrors a lot, or do you try to avoid them? How many mirrors are in your house? I try to avoid them when I’m not home and can’t immediately fix my appearance. And there are 4 mirrors total in my apartment.

What is your favorite brand of clothing? Is this a brand that is sort of expensive, or is it pretty affordable? Lately I’ve loved a brand called Pink Clover that I discovered through Stitchfix. Otherwise, my clothes come from a variety of stores like Buckle, Express, Windsor, Forever 21, and random Made In China sites. I’m a bargain hunter but I’m not afraid to splurge a little when something really grabs me.

What person do you text the most? Glenn or my sisters.

Do you have any pictures that always make you laugh, or cry? Are they digital pictures, or printed pictures? What is the significance? Too damn many to list! I’m a sentimental sap and I can make myself spiral at the drop of a hat. IT’S A GIFT

What are you listening to? Cafe Radio on Pandora

What were you doing at 4am? Fast asleep

What’s your favorite cereal? Damn this question! I have a sugary cereal addiction. Lately I’ve been obsessed with Oatmeal Creme Pie cereal but some of my other faves are Fruity Pebbles, Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Frosted Mini Wheats... ugh!

What’s the last thing you drank? I’m sipping a coffee right now

Where is your biological mother right now? I assume she’s home, this is her prime nap hour!

Where is your biological father right now? At work or driving between jobs

What’s your mood? Overcaffeinated and excited for the weekend!

Are you doing anything tomorrow? It’s TBD actually. I took the morning off work to help my sister move but she’s quarantining so those plans were put on hold. Now I have an entire Saturday off to do whatever I want! I think I’m gonna talk Glenn into taking me to brunch :)

Do you cry a lot? Way more than the average person. But I feel no shame about it and I’m actually sorry that other people can’t process their emotions as constructively!

Have you recently? See above

What’s your favorite candy? Anything sour and gummy is my jam. Oh and Cadbury Mini Eggs! Easter Candy is a serious weakness.

Have you ever eaten raw pumpkin? Y’all nasty

Does your car have a name? I don’t have a car

Will you be in bed within twenty minutes? Lord I wish! But I’ll be here at work for another 2 hours.

Who did you sleep with last night? My honey bear

Wearing any bracelets? Nope, I hardly wear jewelry

What is your favorite color? Pink

What should you be doing right now? Honestly there isn’t that much work for me here at the office so... it’s acceptable that I’m doing this survey

How much older is the person you’re currently interested in? He’s 12 years older than me (hence why I was so nervous to introduce him to my dad!)

Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? Quite vividly (despite my intoxicated state). You could say he made a mark on me!

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? Yeah

Do you love the last boy/girl you were talking to? Very much so

Did you have an exciting last weekend? It was a lot of fun!

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? Obviously

Have you ever flirted with a friend’s crush? Not that I’m aware of. I’d never do that intentionally, that’s for sure.

Did you have a good birthday this year? It’s 5 months away!

Do you lead people on? No, although my friendliness is often misconstrued as flirtatiousness and attraction. Not my fault though!

Who was the last person you made plans with? Me & Glenn have plans to lay on the floor and watch Dateline tonight... does that count? (Yes we like to make a bed on the floor. Let us BE!)

When was the last time someone really got on your nerves? I’ve been slightly on edge recently so it could’ve been anyone

Have you recently lost any clothes? Actually yeah, several socks in one load of laundry. Where the hell could they be?!

What places will you be going tomorrow? Hopefully brunch!

When is the next time you will kiss someone? In a couple hours when I get home

How do you feel about your hair right now? It’s a little raggedy and needs a root touch-up but I can’t be bothered

How fast have you driven a car? Not fast at all

Have you ever smoked? Just weed

Is the last person you kissed your other half? He absolutely is

Do you think this year is better than the last? I hate to say it but I had a pretty spectacular 2020. Although I think even more greatness is in store for 2021!

Where is the last person you kissed at this moment? He’s at home

Has anyone seen you in your underwear this past month? Yes

Would you rather marry Taylor Lautner, or take a million dollars? A million, easy lol.

Do you really believe in forever? I do

What are you doing after this? Most likely another survey. And I’ll keep repeating this cycle ‘till it’s time to go home

Someone says “all guys are players” You say? What grade are you in?

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? We’re engaged!

Do you believe in kissing when you’re not together yet? Do as you please!

How serious are your feelings for the person you like? Considering I’m wearing this ring on my finger I’d say we’re pretty damn serious

Do you live close to the person you like? We live together

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canaryatlaw · 7 years

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So I'm having a hard time coming up with a conclusion to how I feel about my day, because it was mostly good action and event wise, I just has taken a turn for the worse in the sickness category and the last 6-10 hours have been pretty damn miserable for me. It's pretty apparently to me that it's not allergies at this point, so I'm gonna make it to the walk in clinic tomorrow (I'll have to blow off my shift at the DV clinic, but I mean, there's only so many hours in the day, and we left off unsure if I'd come back this week anyway). But yeah, the cough's been real bad and I've been in a good deal of pain from that. But anyway, starting in the morning. Alarm set for 7:30 am, and I really, really wanted to stay in bed, and I even had a proper excuse this time, but I know I had to get up because I had a friend coming to church with me and I could flake out on her like that when she willingly agreed to come to church with me just based off of what I've told her about the church and how much I love it, and she's definitely what I guess the Christians community would referred to as "unsaved" (I particularly care for that term, but that's a different story). So I got up. Then my bus app lied to me and I had to dash out of the door to make the right bus, only for the bus app to lie AGAIN and the bus that was suppose to be coming disappear into thin air and we're just like????? So I was like lol fuck it, if I wait till the tamest one I'll be late, so I'll just take a Lyft to the train station, as far as I'd normally take the train. So that's what I did, and it worked out quite well. I got there around 9:10 for the 9:30 service, and of course there was already a line wrapped around the building, so I got a spot and my friend joined my shortly afterwards. And of course because my church is super awesome they had people like coming around to the people in line and offering them snacks and drinks and such because they are just that cool. We make it to to the auditorium pretty quickly though (their turn around time between services is seriously impressive, they must have it down to a science at this point) and they started out with this awesome like, spoken word/rap (I probably don't know the proper term for it but that's the best I got) about Christ's dying and his resurrection and like holy crap, it was so good I could tell everyone in the room was having goosebumps. It was one of many reminders I had today that how much I appreciate this church is not my parents church who would never even think about something like that. The service of course was excellent, he managed to tie it into some more actual theology than your typical "come to Jesus" sermon you get on Christmas and Easter, so that was nice. He did of course end with the whole sinners prayer thing and I did hear my friend reciting it next to me, though I wasn't certain if it was because she believed it or because she felt like she should be doing it, but she did fill out an info card for the church and she said she really enjoyed it and would like to come back, so that felt like a major win to me when most of the conversations I've had with her regarding religion have been about her issues with the church (and I mean, it's not like I don't have plenty of issues with the church myself, but you know what I mean). So I said goodbye to her at that point so she could go help prep for the brunch to be held later, and went up to the babies room for the next service. I think we had 4 volunteers, and I think we managed pretty well with what we had. It was mostly like, at any given time one child would be crying, but likely only one child, just rotating at different times lol, a lot of them were in and out of it. It's always hard on holidays when kids might not have been in that situation before if their parents don't usually come to church, so it's a totally new environment for them. But overall I think we did pretty good. So many adorable little girls in their Easter dresses in these beautiful bright colors and ahh, so much adorableness. So that was fully enjoyable. Our church did also have an Easter bunny on site to take pictures with (they had an egg hunt too of course) which the kids always have varying reactions to, but for me it was another affirmation of how much more I appreciate this church more than the bs my parents church would throw about the Easter bunny "distracting from Jesus" and accusing it of being some pagan creation designed for that purpose (and really, I'm barely exaggerating there). So I liked that. After that I got some Mac and cheese from the volunteer lounge that I had to method because it was SO good, then headed over to my friends friends apartment that we've had the party at earlier in the year. Bit of a trip to get there but we made it ok. It was nice, it was less people than I expected to be there, but still plenty of people I knew so it was fine. We played a cards game called spades I've never played before, but after the first few plays I caught onto it pretty quickly and if anyone's ever played cards with me they know it's all about me going out in a blaze of glory at the last moment when everyone else is left helpless, and I managed to do that at least twice, so I was pleased with that, lol. And yeah, we sat and talked and ate, and it was nice. Around 4 I headed out because I knew my cough was getting worse and I needed to do something about it, so I had a Lyft guy take me to the Walgreens right by my apartment instead of directly to my apartment haha and he was sweet and was telling me some home remedies for coughs like pouring hot water over ginger and drinking it, which sounds like it might work if I could get my hands on some fresh ginger, lol. But I got to Walgreens and examined several different options before going with a theraflu day and night dual pack as was as a delsym cough syrup that doesn't contain acetaminophen so I can take the two at the same time without any side effects (hopefully at least before I can get to the walk in clinic tomorrow). After that I sat and watched tv shows, none of which were particularly striking other than I'm sad season 2 of crazy ex girlfriend is over and they left it in such a (spoiler alert) shitty place with josh inexplicably wanting to become a priest on his wedding day. Order than that though, my eyes are really rapidly closing right now and I don't know how much longer I can keep them open, so I'm Finns gonna give into that feeling and go to sleep. Goodnight loves. Be sweet, always.

#daily journal #April 2017

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newyorktheater · 4 years

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Chita Rivera and Fred Ebb

Chita Rivera and Liza Minnelli rehearse for the musical The Rink also with the musical’s songwriters John Kander and Fred Ebb.

Kander and Ebb

Joel Grey in Cabaret

Liza in “The Act”

Lauren Bacall in Woman of the Year

Robert Goulet in The Happy Time

Jerry Orbach in Chicago

Gwen Verdon as Roxie Hart & Chita Rivera as Velma Kelly in scene fr. the original Broadway production of the musical “Chicago.” (New York), 1975. Fosse directed, choreographed and wrote the book.

Anthony Quinn in Zorba

Cabaret

Brandon Victor Dixon in The Scottsboro Boys Off-Broadway by Kander and Ebb

The Visit, with a book by Terrence McNally, a score by Kander and Ebb

Frank Sinatra singing “New York, New York”

Joel Grey, Fred Ebb, Chita Rivera, Bebe Neuwirth

Fred Ebb

Although Fred Ebb is best known for partnering with composer John Kander on “Cabaret” and “Chicago,” Kander and Ebb together created some two dozen Broadway musicals and musical revues, from 1964 until Ebb’s death in 2004 – and beyond, since several of their collaborations debuted on stage posthumously.

Here is Ebb singing one of their most popular songs “All That Jazz” from “Chicago,” with Kander on the piano. Since Ebb was a lyricist, the lyrics will follow many of the videos below.

youtube

Come on, babe Why don’t we paint the town? And all that jazzI’m gonna rouge my knees And roll my stockings down And all that jazzStart the car I know a whoopee spot Where the gin is cold But the piano’s hot!It’s just a noisy hall Where there’s a nightly brawl And all that jazz And all that jazz

Slick your hair and wear your buckle shoes And all that jazzI hear that Father Dip Is gonna blow the blues And all that jazz,Hold on, hon’ We’re gonna bunny hug I bought some aspirin Down at United DrugIn case you shake apart And wanna brand new start To do that- jazz!Find a flask We’re playing fast and loose And all that jazz

Right up here Is where I store the juice And all that jazzCome on, babe We’re gonna brush the sky I betcha Lucky Lindy never flew so high’Cause in the stratosphere How could he lend an ear To all that jazz?

Oh, you’re gonna see your Sheba shimmy shake And all that jazz

Oh, she’s gonna shimmy Till her garters break And all that jazz

Show her where to park her girdle Oh, her mother’s blood’d curdle (If she’d hear her baby queer) For all that jazz

Come on, babe Why don’t we paint the town? And all that jazz (And all that jazz)

I’m gonna rouge my knees And roll my stockings down And all that jazz (And all that jazz)

Start the car I know a whoopee spot Where the gin is cold But the piano’s hot! It’s just a noisy hall Where there’s a nightly brawl And all that jazz

No, I’m no one’s wife But, oh, I love my life And all that jazz That jazz

Flora The Red Menace, 1965

Nineteen-year-old Liza Minnelli sings “Sing Happy”

youtube

Sing me a Happy song about Robins in spring Sing me a happy song with a happy ending. Some cheerful rondelet about catching the ring Sing Happy

Sing me a sonnett all about rolling in gold Some peppy melody about rainbows blending Nothing with phrases saying you’re out in the cold Sing Happy

Tell me tomorrow’s gonna be peaches and cream Assure me clouds are lined with a silver lining Say how you’ve realized an impossible dream Sing me a happy song

Play me a madrigal about trips to the moon Or some old ballad about two eyes shining It can’t be loud enough or a moment too soon Sing Happy

No need reminding me that it all fell apart I need no lyrics singing of stormy weather There’s quite enough around me that’s breaking my heart Sing Happy

Give me a hallelujah and get up and shout Tell me the sun is shining around the corner Whoever’s interested helping me out Please keep it happy.

I’m only in the market for long loud laughter I’ll let you serenade me till dawn comes along Just make it a happy Keep it a happy song.

Cabaret, 1966

“Cabaret” won the Tony Awards for best musical and best score — the first of three shows for which Kander and Ebb won Tonys. Twelve of their shows were nominated for best score.

Jill Haworth, the original Sally Bowles, sings the title song

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What good is sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play. Life is a Cabaret, old chum, Come to the Cabaret.

Put down the knitting, The book and the broom. Time for a holiday. Life is Cabaret, old chum, Come to the Cabaret.

Come taste the wine, Come hear the band. Come blow your horn, Start celebrating; Right this way, Your table’s waiting

No use permitting soem prophet of doom To wipe every smile away. Come hear the music play. Life is a Cabaret, old chum, Come to the Cabaret!

I used to have a girlfriend known as Elsie With whom I shared Four sordid rooms in Chelsea

She wasn’t what you’d call A blushing flower… As a matter of fact She rented by the hour.

The day she died the neighbors came to snicker: “Well, thats what comes from to much pills and liquor.”

But when I saw her laid out like a Queen She was the happiest… corpse… I’d ever seen.

I think of Elsie to this very day. I’d remember how’d she turn to me and say: “What good is sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play. Life is a Cabaret, old chum, Come to the Cabaret.”

And as for me, I made up my mind back in Chelsea, When I go, I’m going like Elsie.

Start by admitting From cradle to tomb Isn’t that long a stay. Life is a Cabaret, old chum, Only a Cabaret, old chum, And I love a Cabaret!

The Happy Time, 1968

Robert Goulet sings the title song

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Remember the Christmas morning long ago, The frosted glass, the dancing snow, The Happy Time Remember the painted horse, the carousel. The chocolate kiss, the caramel, The Happy Time. Remember the pale pink sky, Your first Easter Hat. And if you should ask me why The reason I ask you this is that I want to remember you remembering The Happy Time. 2. Remember the day you found the dollar bill, Or roller skating down the hill, The Happy Time. Remember the compliment you once received/ The lie you told they all believed. The Happy Time Remember your first school play, the sound of applause. Why do I go on this way?

70 girls 70, 1971

Mandy Pantinkin sings “Coffee in a Cardboard Cup” from the musical (he was not in the Broadway cast.)

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The trouble with the world today it seems to me Is coffee in a cardboard cup The trouble with the affluent society Is coffee in a cardboard cup

No one’s ever casual and nonchalant No one wastes a minute in a restaurant No one wants a waitress passing pleasantries Like “Hiya miss” “Hiya sir” “May I take your order please”

The trouble with the world today is plain to see Is everything is hurry up It’s “rush it through” “Don’t be slow” “BLT on rye to go” And coffee I think she said ‘coffee’ I know she said ‘coffee In a cardboard cup’

The trouble with the helter skelter life we lead Is coffee in a cardboard cup The trouble the psychologists have all agreed Is coffee in a cardboard cup

Tell me what could possibly be drearier Than seaboard from the Belnord cafeteria Seems to me a gentleman would much prefer An “afternoon, how you been Would you like the special sir?”

The trouble with the world today is plain to se Is everything is hurry up There’s Reddi Whip Instant tea Minute rice and my oh me There’s coffee I think she said ‘coffee’ I know she said ‘coffee In a cardboard cup’

The trouble with the world today beyond a doubt Is coffee in a cardboard cup The trouble is the way we like to take things out Like coffee in a cardboard cup

No one knows the meaning of utopia Is dining at your coner cornucopia Seems to me we wouldn’t be such nervous wrecks With ‘hello there, be right back Would you care for separate checks’

The trouble with the world today is plain to see Is everything is hurry up It’s all become Looney Tunes With sugar packs and plastic spoons And coffee I think she said ‘coffee’ I know she said ‘coffee’ I’m sure she said ‘coffee In a cardboard cup’

(spoken): “Hurry up!”

Chicago, 1975

Jerry Orbach sings “Razzle Dazzle.” (The last minute or so is an interview with cast members)

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Give ’em the old razzle dazzle Razzle Dazzle ’em Give ’em an act with lots of flash in it And the reaction will be passionate Give ’em the old hocus pocus Bead and feather ’em How can they see with sequins in their eyes? What if your hinges all are rusting? What if, in fact, you’re just disgusting? Razzle dazzle ’em And they;ll never catch wise! Give ’em the old Razzle Dazzle Razzle dazzle ’em Give ’em a show that’s so splendiferous Row after row will crow vociferous Give ’em the old flim flam flummox Fool and fracture ’em How can they hear the truth above the roar? Throw ’em a fake and a finagle They’ll never know you’re just a bagel, Razzle dazzle ’em And they’ll beg you for more! Give ’em the old double whammy Daze and dizzy ’em Back since the days of old…

Chita Rivera and Gwen Verdon sing “Nowadays”

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The Act, 1978

Liza Minnelli and company sing “City Lights” at the Tonys

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The little old lady sat on the porch of the farm-house. The little old lady rocked back and forth and crocheted. “Oh, listen to the cricket, look at the rooster, smell the hay,” I told her. “And see the pretty little egg that the hen just laid.” The little old lady took off her glasses and squinted. And how she responded literally had me floored. She said: “I’m glad to meet someone who appreciates the beauty that nature initiates. It’s sweet to hear, but me, my dear, I’m truly bored. I miss those city lights, those sparkling city lights, those twinkling city lights blurring my eyes. I love those city lights, the color of city sights that shine under city lights tinting the skies. New mown hay gives me hay fever. There’s the rooster, where’s my cleaver? So laid back, my mind might crack, and when the thresher’s up my pressure’s up. City lights, oh, I long for those city lights, the bulbs of those beaming brights beckoning me there. Be there. Take the crickets and go shove ’em, urban crises, how I love ’em! Grime and grit and pretty city lights. Walking lanes to pick a daisy, that could drive a person crazy. Home-made bread lies here like lead, and Polly’s peach preserves– oh, please, my nerves! City lights, how I long for those city lights, the bulbs of those beaming brights beckoning me there. Be there. Sties and stables sure are smelly, let me sniff some Kosher deli, brightly lit by pretty city lights. Pluck your lillies of the valley, let me sally up some alley dimly lit by pretty city lights. Country air means zilch to me, I won’t breathe nothing I can’t see. So let me quit and hit those pretty city lights. Hit them city lights! Love them city lights! Fairs and socials ain’t no pluses, I saw more on cross-town buses brightly lit by pretty city lights. Hold that udder and churn that butter, me, I’d rather shoot some gutter dimly lit by pretty city lights. Slop those sows, go on and fill your pails, Honey, just let me plant my buns down in Bloomingdale’s. Yes, let me quit and hit those pretty city lights. Love them city lights!

Woman of the Year, 1981

The second show to result in a Tony Award for best score. Lauren Bacall sings “I Wrote The Book”

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The kicker: So when it comes to losing a man, you’ll find it unsurprisingly true. That last week I wrote that book, too.

Zorba, 1983

Norm Lewis (not from the original cast) sings “Life Is” at the March 2010 Vineyard Theater gala honoring John Kander!

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Life is a glass of rum! No! Life is a sip of sage! No! Life is the taste of raki flowing warmly from the cup!

Shut up!

Life is a walnut leaf! No! Life is an olive tree! No! Life is a scented melon-breasted woman when her lips are red and full… No! Life is a barbered, planted orchard and two lovers passing by it!

Life is my fist in your face if you don’t keep quiet! What did you say? I said, “Life is my fist in your face if you don’t keep quiet!” Oh? Oh? Oh! Oh!

Wait. Listen to me. I will tell you.

Life is what you do while you’re waiting to die, Life is how the time goes by! Life is where you wait while you’re waiting to leave, Life is where where you grin and grieve!

Having if lucky, wanting if not, Looking for the ruby underneath the rot, Hungry for the pilaf in someone else’s pot, But that’s the only choice you’ve got!

Life is where you stand just before you are flat! Life is only that, mister, Life is simply that, mister, That and nothing more than that!

Life is what you feel, ‘Til you can’t feel at all, Life is where you fly and fall!

Running for shelter, naked in the snow Learning that the tear drops any where you go Finding its the mud that makes the roses grow That’s the only choice you know!

Wait! Once again…

Life is what you do while you’re waiting to die… This is how the time goes by!

The Rink, 1984

Chita Rivera and Liza Minnelli sing “Don’t ‘Ah Ma” Me” This is not a high-quality video, but I choose it because the lyrics show off Ebb’s skill at a theatrical song (with aid, no doubt, by book writer Terrence McNally)

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[ANGEL, spoken] Oh I’ve got a lot of things to tell you Ma

[ANNA, spoken] How long was it this time Angel? Seven years?

[ANGEL, spoken] Ah Ma!

[ANNA, spoken] Basta! Finito! We’re closed! I’m finished!

[ANGEL, spoken] Ah Ma!

[ANNA] If the earth had opened up If it swallowed me inside Would my baby darling girl even realise I’d died? You were sitting on hill With some yippee on your lap Talking love and life and art and that transcendental crap With the dope I’m sure you smoked And a healthy dose of coke up your nose

[ANGEL] Ah Ma!

[ANNA] Up your nose!

[ANGEL] Ah Ma!

[ANNA] And for all you ever knew I was hustling for the rent ‘Cause you only call collect maybe every other lent While I’m bleeding in the street from some maniacs attack You’re in some Ramada Inn seeking wisdom on your back Making kibble of your brain An emancipated pain in the ass

[ANGEL] Ah Ma!

[ANNA] In the ass!

[ANGEL] Ah Ma!

[ANNA] And don’t ah Ma me! You said you had to find yourself so find yourself some other place And don’t ah Ma me! I don’t need you around to help me complicate my life

And if you really gave a damn You’d have never stayed away When you break a mother’s heart does it make a Guru’s day? But you’re nearly thirty now And you’r panicked and upset So you walk back in the door And expect me to forget Welcome home, my little pig! Boy you’ve really got a big set of balls

[ANGEL] Ah Ma!

[ANNA] Oh some balls!

[ANGEL] Ah Ma!

[ANNA] And don’t ah Ma me! You said you had to find yourself so find yourself some other place And don’t ah Ma me! I don’t need you around to help me complicate my life, capisce? And don’t ah Ma me! The sign on the apartment doesn’t say Salvation Army does it? Don’t ah Ma me! I’ve heard it all your life and I don’t need to hear it now

[ANGEL] Ah Ma! It’s like it was before I just walked through the door! And right away you start to fight and curse

[ANNA, spoken] That’s bullshit

[ANGEL] Ma! I thought there’d be some tears

[ANNA, spoken] Tears?!

[ANGEL] And after all these years You might have mellowed some But Jesus was I dumb

[ANNA] So you thought I might be calm? Maybe jolly you along? Well believe me I’m not calm And believe me you were wrong Should the sound of your hello Be like music to me years When I haven’t seen your face in, what is it, seven years? So you walk back in my life Should I really bless my luck? That’s an outfit you could wear on a sanitation truck “Have a daughter” I was told “They’re a blessing when you’re old” Ah Stugatz!

[ANGEL] Ah Ma!

[ANNA] Stugatz!

[ANGEL] Ah Ma!

[ANNA] Enough

[ANGEL] Ah Ma!

[ANNA] That’s it

[ANGEL] Ah Ma!

[ANNA] Shut up. I quit

[ANGEL] Ah Maaaaaaaaaaa!

[ANNA] Now I’ve got a good thing going And I don’t need you to hex it Did you notice where you entered You can also make an exit? So go out and find a husband Don’t try to be a whore I am sick and tired of your ah Ma!

[ANGEL] Ah Ma!

[ANNA] Shush!

Cabaret, 1988 revival

Liza and Joel Grey sing “Money.” This is actually from the 1972 movie, but I had to fit in somewhere

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Kiss of the Spider Woman, 1993

The show won Kander and Ebb a third Tony for best score. Chita Rivera sings the title song

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Spider Woman: Sooner or later You’re certain to meet In the bedroom, the parlor or even the street There’s no place on earth You’re likely to miss Her kiss Sooner or later In sunlight or gloom When the red candles flicker She’ll walk in the room And the curtains will shake and the fire will hiss Here comes her kiss And the moon grows dimmer At the tide’s low ebb And her black beads shimmer And you’re aching to move But you’re caught in the web Of the Spider Woman In her velvet cape You can scream But you cannot escape Sooner or later your love will arrive And she touches your heart You’re alert and alive But there’s only one pin That can puncture such bliss Her kiss Sooner or later you bathe in success And your minions salute They say nothing but “YES” But your power is empty It fades like the mist Once you’ve been kissed And the moon grows dimmer At the tide’s low ebb And your breath comes faster And you’re aching to move But you’re caught in the web Of the Spider Woman In her velvet cape You can run You can scream You can hide But you cannot escape!

Charles Pistone sings The Day After That (he was not in the original cast)

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Valentin: It was made out of mud And pieces of tin And boxes nailed together Cardboard boxes My castle

My home And we slept on the floor My sister and I With gunny sacks for our pillows Coughing, hungry, cosy My home And every Sunday on our knees We would thank the Lord For his bountiful blessings And our mother poured soup Into little cracked bowls As she spoke of something better Beef steak, maybe, someday My home And that lady had eyes That were empty and cold At the ripe old age of thirty Death came Welcome To my home And still that Sunday On our knees How we thanked the Lord For his bountiful blessings And my sister and I Swore the day that we left There’d be no more children like us In the filth there in the heat there. In the smell there And no more Sundays On our knees Would we thank the Lord For his bountiful blessings And we came to the city And begged for our food Then, one April day we heard it Thunder rumbling One man speaking Thousands singing .. Someday we’ll be free I promise you, we’ll be free If not tomorrow Then the day after that And the candles in our hands Will illuminate this land If not tomorrow Then the day after that And the world that gives us pain That fills our lives with fear On the day after that Will disappear And the war we’ve fought to win I promise you, we will win If not tomorrow Then the day after that Or the day after that

Valentin: and families of the disappeared Someday we’ll be free I promise you, we’ll be free If not tomorrow Then (Or) the day after that And the candles in our hands Will illuminate this land If not tomorrow Then the day after that And the world that gives us pain That fills our lives with fear On the day after that Will disappear Will disappear And the war we’ve fought to win I promise you, we will win If not tomorrow Then the day after that Or the day after that Or the day after that Or the day after that Or the day after that Or the day After that

Chicago, 1996 revival

This revival is closing in on its 25th anniversary, and is currently the second longest musical in Broadway history. I feel free to choose songs by singers anytime during its run. So here are Marcia Lewis singing “When You’re Good to Mama,” Brandy Norwood singing “Roxie,” and then Carol Womack singing “When You’re Good to Mama” again.

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Steel Pier, 1997

Debra Monk sings “Everybody’s Girl,” a raunchy song that’s one of the few comic moments in a bleak scenario

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Shelby A long time ago A lady whose name was Carmen Drove a man wild Until he was out of control

I truly believe That i am a modern day Carmen In spite of the fact I do not habla espa?ol

That girl was exactly like me We share this philosophy Ol?, I say

I’m not the type who’s ready For datin’ someone steady I’m everybody’s girl

On sunday night it’s Danny On monday maybe Manny I’m everybody’s girl

There’s a point to my behavior Which is: Smart girls always share their riches

So, if your heart succumbs Don’t let it You’re certain to regret it All others, come and get it I’m everybody’s girl.

I could never be a cowhand’s

La la la la la la

And you wanna know why?

All: Why?

Shelby: I just can’t keep my calves together.

I’m everybody’s girl Some old Greek called Aristotle Said it If you got it, why not spread it? So don’t go rattling any sabres Exerting any labors Just share me with the neighbors I’m everybody’s girl

In case your passion rages, I’m in the yellow pages I’m… Girl.

You won’t be disappointed I’m also double-jointed I’m everybody’s girl Though it leaves a lot of fellas Cursin’ I’m a person Needs disbursin’

And so to reaffirm my status It’s absolutely gratis To use my apparatus I’m everybody’s girl

Men and me are like pianos. When they Get upright, i feel grand!

Everybody’s girl!

Scottsboro Boys, 2010

Joshua Henry and company sing “Go Back Home,” as they await their unjust fate in prison.

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Lyin’ all alone I’m thinkin’ Starin’ at the stars I wonder Since I been away I’m lonely When I’m gonna go back home

Walkin’ through the world Things happen Right before ya eyes Things happen Soon enough you’re lost And thinkin’ When I’m gonna go back home

Oh me oh my Time goes slow Where’s it gone to I don’t know

But maybe times’ll turn I pray so Maybe some day I’ll get lucky Someone’s gonna say Alright son Take the train and go back home Hop a freight and go back home

SPOKE: Hop a freight? I’d walk all the way back to Atlanta if I could. I wouldn’t stop til I got there. No more nightmares. Guards beatin’ me. Teasin’ me. And I’d be home for my birthday too! Now that would be some present.

SUNG: Oh me oh my Time goes slow Where’s it gone to I don’t know

But maybe times’ll turn I pray so Maybe some day I’ll get lucky Someone’s gonna say Alright son Take the train and go back home Hop a freight and go back home

The Visit, 2015

Chita Rivera sings “Love and Love Alone”

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Claire When you’re young Feeling oh, so strong what can prove you wrong? Love and love alone When the sun seems forever bright what can dim its light Love and love alone So beware young love lost in a kiss there’s a truth, young love

Simple as this Every fond hello ends in goodbye what seems certain to live will die So enjoy all the time there is if you’re his, be his make each day your own when tomorrows come and your heart is stone what has made it numb? Love and love alone Da da da da da love and love alone

We Can’t Do That Anymore

Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly Ebb had written this song with Kander for the musical “Wait for Me, World,”” which was never produced. He cleverly repurposed it for the “comeback” TV special he wrote in 1973 for Frank Sinatra

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New York, New York

Their most popular song was not written for a Broadway musical, but it would be impossible to omit it. It is written for Liza Minnelli as the title song for the 1977 Martin Scorsese film “New York,New York.” Frank Sinatra is one of its main interpreters

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Start spreading the news I am leaving today I want to be a part of it New York, New York

These vagabond shoes Are longing to stray Right through the very heart of it New York, New York

I want to wake up in a city That doesn’t sleep And find I’m king of the hill Top of the heap

These little town blues Are melting away I’ll make a brand new start of it In old New York

If I can make it there I’ll make it anywhere It’s up to you New York, New York

New York, New York I want to wake up in a city That never sleeps And find I’m a number one Top of the list King of the hill A number one

These little town blues All melting away I am gonna make a brand new start of it In old New York

And If I can make it there I’m gonna make it anywhere It’s up to you New York, New York, New York

New York

That’s the 11 o’clock number, no doubt. But I prefer to end with Liza, and a less iconic song from the same movie, “But The World Goes Round”

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Sometimes you’re happy And sometimes you’re sad But the world goes round And sometimes you lose Every nickel you’ve had But the world goes round

Sometimes you’re dreams get broken in pieces But that doesn’t alter a thing Take it from me There’s still gonna be A summer, a winter, a fall, and a spring

And sometimes a friend Starts treating you bad But the world goes round And sometimes your heart breaks With a deafening sound Somebody loses, somebody wins One day it’s kicks Then it’s kicks in the shins But the planet spins And world goes round

But the world goes round But the world goes round

Sometimes your dreams get broken in pieces But that doesn’t matter at all Take it from me There’s still gonna be A summer, a winter, a spring, and a fall

And sometimes a friend Starts treating you bad But the world goes round And sometimes your heart breaks With a deafening sound Somebody loses, and somebody wins Then one day it’s kicks Then it’s kicks in the shins But the planet spins And the world goes round And round and round and round and round The world goes round And round And round And round

F is for Fred Ebb. Broadway Lyricist to the Stars Although Fred Ebb is best known for partnering with composer John Kander on “Cabaret” and “Chicago,” Kander and Ebb together created some two dozen Broadway musicals and musical revues, from 1964 until Ebb’s death in 2004 – and beyond, since several of their collaborations debuted on stage posthumously.

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