#took everything in me not to make a joke about the intensive care unit LOL

[seokjinsonlyone]

I, C, U 🤭

I: The most interesting voice or style in K-pop?

tbh i just gotta shout out to the tannies first and foremost bc tbh each of them got like the most unique voices in the kpop industry like none of them sound like anyone else i just had to say that first

but imma shout out to tae specifically!! he the reason i'm here to this day i remember my cousin playing the truth untold in the car one day and i had a full stop moment when i was like who the one with that deep voice and he's had me in a chokehold ever since

also! yeonjun from txt like very distinct tone i only had to hear him once and could pick out his voice from the lineup

and!!! wooyoung from the rose his voice is vv unique and honorable mention to mingi from ateez

C: A color that you think your bias looks good in?

maybe it's the bora in me but jin gon eat down in purple every time

U: The most unusual group?

unusual as in sound? personality?? if we talking sound then imma go wit nct like they got some of the wackiest sounds i've ever heard and yes i'm looking at sticker but like i be eating it up too like it's good to me 😭 personality wise maybe p1harmony like i love keeho i do and the rest of them boys they really be cracking me up

you can ask me more kpop asks if you'd like 🥺👉👈

[malewifegrantaire]

The Birthday Thing

READ PART ONE HERE

PART TWO: Guess who’s coming to dinner hang out for no apparent reason (as far as Grantaire can tell)?

Combeferre had inadvertently ruined the rest of Grantaire’s week. It wasn’t his fault, of course. He couldn’t be blamed for Grantaire’s Incredibly Bad Brain. But still, “I just know Enjolras and I know he likes you” is a very reckless phrase to pepper into a conversation with someone of Grantaire’s constitution. He could hardly fall asleep that night because the words I know he likes you were clanging too loudly against the bars of the jail cell he called a mind. He didn’t mind too much though. The clanging was because Enjolras liked him, which made all of the noise sound a bit like music.

Grantaire picked out an outfit for the party and laid it out like he was a little kid excited for a school trip. Embarrassed with himself, he threw the entire outfit into his clothing hamper so he wouldn’t have to look at it lying out on his dresser anymore. Which was obviously a mistake, because now the clothes were are wrinkled and they were touching his actually dirty clothes. Which meant now he had to do a half load of laundry on a weekday, which he really didn’t like doing.

As he folded his laundry, Grantaire felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Huh. It was from Combeferre. Odd.

hey, are u free? sorry lol i am bored and wanted to know if u wanna hang out ??

Very odd. Maybe the wrong number? Just to be safe, Grantaire texted back:

grantaire is folding laundry right now, like a responsible adult.

Two texts back:

very interesting use of third person..

i can help if u want! i love 2 fold things

So this was Grantaire’s life. He used to be young and wild, and now he’s the sort of person that makes plans with people who text him sentences like “i love 2 fold things.” He typed his response.

uh, sure? might get boring, but i’ll never say no to an extra set of hands.

About fifteen minutes later, Combeferre was inside of Grantaire’s apartment. “You got here fast.” Grantaire said.

“I was in the neighborhood.”

“Aren’t you always?”

Combeferre took in Grantaire’s apartment, which gave Grantaire such a wave of self-consciousness that he thought he might be sick. It was a fine apartment, kept clean mostly because Grantaire hardly spent any time in it. The ceilings were far too low for Combeferre.

“This is a really nice place.” Combeferre said. “Have you lived here long?”

“Five years, I think.” Grantaire said. “I think the landlord thought I’d have left by now, but, well. I’m still here.”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s nice. Good windows. Not easy to come by.”

Grantaire laughed at that. “Hey, was there something you wanted to talk about? Or are you just here to admire my big beautiful windows?”

Combeferre looked slightly embarrassed. “Uh, the latter, I guess.” he said. “I mean, just what I texted, I was bored, and I guess . . . I don’t know. I guess I thought we could just hang out?”

Now it was Grantaire’s turn to be embarrassed. Of course. Combeferre is the sort of person who’s actually, you know, decent. He was just trying to be nice and Grantaire was accusing him of having an ulterior motive. Way to go. Grantaire cleared his throat. “Well, thanks for coming. Feel free to park wherever. I only did a half load of laundry so I’m finished folding, sorry. I know how much you love to fold.”

“I went through a very intense Marie Kondo phase.” Combeferre grinned. “Let me know if you ever need your closet to be reorganized.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Grantaire said. It was dawning on him that, being more of the roaming type than the nesting type, Grantaire almost never had people over his apartment, and therefore had very little hosting experience. So he did what he always did in situations like this - said what people say in movies and books and all that.

“Can I offer you a beverage of some kind? I’ve got . . . tap water. And orange juice. And maybe beer?”

“I’m alright, thanks.” Combeferre said kindly. Combeferre’s fridge was probably fully stocked with sparkling water in every flavor for guests to sip on, the bastard. He sat down in a little chair by the kitchenette. “What, what is it?” he asked, looking at Grantaire’s expression. “Why are you - what’s funny?”

“Everything is too small for you in here. It’s like shoving a Barbie doll into a Polly Pocket house.” Grantaire said with a laugh. Combeferre tucked his long legs a bit closer to himself.

“Well, Barbie is a good role model, so I’ll take that.”

“I think an averaged sized woman or two might disagree. Anyways, you’ve got impeccable timing.”

“What do you mean?” Combeferre inquired.

“I mean that someone must have wanted us to hang out today. God, the Fates, some non-denominational arbiter of Destiny.” Grantaire was doing that thing he always did where he ended sentences in a way that begged the listener to ask him to explain himself. Why he chose to speak in these irritating circles? We will likely never know. Grantaire sure as hell didn’t.

Combeferre rolled his eyes, but he seemed more amused than annoyed. “You’re impossible.”

“It’s been said before.” was Grantaire’s reply. “What I mean to say is I’m literally never home. Not literally-literally, but, you know. This apartment is basically a glorified storage unit that I visit when there is absolutely nothing else to do. So the fact that you happened to be passing by on a laundry day...”

“... a work of divine intervention?” Combeferre finished.

“I’d go so far as to call it a miracle if I believed in that sort of thing.” Grantaire said.

Combeferre’s next question caught Grantaire off-guard somewhat. “So you’re an atheist, then?”

Grantaire had never actually seen a shrink, but he had the passing sensation of being sprawled out on some brown leather fainting sofa. Maybe that’s what this was, a psych eval. He’d get a message from the official Les Amis de l’ABC e-mail account later in the week saying “sorry, R, you’ve been deemed mentally unfit to be a part of this organization. We know the Musain is public property, but if you could avoid the premises during our scheduled meeting times we all think that’d be for the best.”

“Well, yeah, aren’t all of the lefties heathens nowadays? At least that’s what Twitter tells me.” he said. His paranoia would not rob him of his (debatable) sense of humor.

Combeferre just shrugged. “I guess if I had to call myself something I’d say I’m agnostic.”

“Huh!” Grantaire said, genuinely surprised. “A member of the ‘namby-pamby, mushy pap, weak-tea, weedy, pallid fence-sitter’ brigade, are we?”

Two things occurred to Combeferre at once: One, that Grantaire was quoting Richard Dawkins, and two, that Grantaire could not have been certain that Combeferre would recognize the quote when he said it. Grantaire was both the sort of person that committed Dawkins to memory and the sort that didn’t really care if someone mistook his references for a string of improvised insults. The more Grantaire spoke, the more Combeferre became aware of how little speaking they’d ever done.

“I guess I just think one can never be sure.” Combeferre said.

Grantaire thought now would be a good time for a subject change. “So, how is party planning going?” he asked.

Combeferre sighed. “It’s . . . it’s going.” he said. “Well, okay, I’m being dramatic. Courfeyrac is actually the one doing most of the planning. I just get weird about stuff like this. I want Enjolras to like everything, you know?”

“I don’t think Enjolras is capable of disliking anything you do.” Grantaire said in a way that to the untrained ear might sound like a veiled insult, but that Combeferre suspected was an attempt at genuine sincerity.

“Well, thanks.” Combeferre smiled gratefully. “I just want him to have a good time.”

“He will. It’s the rest of us you’ll have to work to entertain.”

“Well, Courfeyrac has a slew of party games he’s preparing. Oh, and, uh, Enjolras mentioned he’s glad you’ll be able to make it. By the way.” Combeferre said, which made Grantaire blush, which made Combeferre smile.

Grantaire hated that. Not just when Combeferre did it, when any of them did. Making faces or little comments, as if they were in on some big secret. It’s like they were proud of themselves for noticing Grantaire’s little crush, like they knew something funny or scandalous or cute. But they didn’t know anything, not really. Grantaire didn’t have a crush on Enjolras at all. It was more like a religion. Maybe he’d been too quick to brand himself an atheist earlier.

His annoyance with Combeferre soured the rest of their conversation. He became mean, curt, and downright humorless. This wasn’t at all fair, he knew. Grantaire probably annoyed Combeferre every third sentence (maybe every third word) and that had never stopped Combeferre from being his usual amiable self. There was another difference between the two: Grantaire lacked both grace and graciousness, and Combeferre, it seemed, never ran out of either.

“Well, I guess I should be leaving.” Combeferre said after a while, rising from the squat chair he was sitting in.

“I guess.”

“Uh, thank you for having me over. We should do this again some time. I had fun.” Combeferre lied.

Grantaire smiled, but the smile did not reach his eyes. “Yeah, why don’t we all do brunch some time? You can bring your friends, it’ll be a real party. Everyone can sit around admiring my huge windows. What a blast!”

Combeferre knew he was joking, but he couldn’t decipher the punchline. What would be so bad about having all of their friends over for brunch? Why did he say the word “friends” like that, all sardonic and italicized? Combeferre almost asked him, but instead he just shook his head and smiled.

“Okay. Well. Bye!”

Grantaire waved lazily. “See you around.”

Under normal circumstances, the phrase “Enjolras mentioned he’s glad you’ll be able to make it” would have found itself fluttering in the pit of Grantaire’s stomach. Instead, there was something else sitting in there. Something that felt a bit like failure, a bit like guilt, and - most surprising of all - a bit like affection.

This is precisely why he didn’t like having people over.

[drethanramslay]

Face to face

Pairing: Ethan x MC (Leah Garcia)

Word count: 3.4 K

Summary: Ethan has always been independent and selfless. He would sacrifice his health for the well being of his patients. So when he falls sick, he decides to brush it off and march forward anyway. But when things take a a turn for the worst, Leah steps in because she wants to help him. And he lets her in.

Because you let the people you love be with you at moments of vulnerability.

Author's note: Well things have been shit lately and I decided to soothe my fellow readers with this sweet, sweet fluff so that you all can momentarily forget the reality.

MASTERLIST

Taglist: @miyakokurono @agent-breakdance @trappedinfandoms @openheart12 @sekizincimektup @junggoku @ethandaddyramsey @edith-eggs1 @ethanramseysgirl @samihatuli @loveellamae @x-kyne-x @paulfwesley @zeniamiii @binny1985 @an-urban-witch-ig @ramseyegerton @noboundariesplease @ohramsey​ (let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list 😊)

Also, @kinkypot (I don't know why I'm not able to tag you) had requested for a writing prompt which I ended up including in this one shot lol

#4- you're so pretty.

Songs: Love someone by Lukas Graham and Put a little love on me by Niall Horan

Forgive me if I make mistakes 😬

"Put her on steroids so that the inflammation can go down. Also, give her 100mg of broad spectrum antibiotics." Ethan spoke monotonously as he signed the chart.

"Yes Dr. Ramsey." The nurse said dutifully before going to the patient's bed side.

It was just eight o'clock in the morning and the first rounds had just got over. The sun had risen and the new interns had not killed anybody yet so that was good. Leah's intern, Ortega was dominating over the other interns and he somewhat felt proud regarding that.

He felt like he was a 'grand-mentor' just like Naveen was for Leah.

He trudged down the hallway to his office, rolling his shoulders. His body ached but, surviving on four hours of sleep and excessive caffeine does that to you.

With the cut in budget, Ethan stayed over at the hospital more. He just couldn't afford to not stay and help, be it helping Naveen out or saving lives. He was exhausted and low. He hadn't seen Jenner in three day and that just added to his misery.

The only thing that would make his day was Leah. His sunshine.

I don't think I will ever stop calling her my Sunshine. Ethan thought to himself, with a small smile playing in his lips.

He loved the way Leah's eyes would shine bright when she saw him. He loved making her smile with his sarcastic jokes just so he could see that cute dimple on her cheek. He loved holding her hand when they were both alone, her small, warm hand in his calloused fingers. He loved to hug her and bury his face into her neck because she smelled like spring and all things good.

He didn't understand the term 'love' but, if he were to use that word, it would be used alongside Leah's name.

And this is what had been on his mind since so long. He had come to this realization the night of her hearing, when he lay in her bed, both of them naked with their limbs tangled. She was lying on his chest, snoring softly while Ethan stared at the ceiling, mindlessly playing with her dark hair. He enjoyed the feeling of her soft, supple skin on him and the way they fit together, like two halves united to form a whole.

I am in love... That's what was running through his mind, when he lay there as the moonlight streamed through the room.

And it frightened him. He was never one to do the feelings bullshit. Most of his relationships were based on how similar their tastes were and how good the person looked. But with Leah, it was uncharted territory.

And that's why he ran to Amazon when his love for her got so much that he couldn't think straight around her. He would turn from world renowned diagnostician Dr. Ethan Ramsey to the bumbling dork, Ethan.

It's too early to go in a contemplative mood about Leah, Ethan.

He leaned back in his plush chair and groaned in pain. He shut his burning eyes and covered his face to prevent the glare of the clinical white light of his office.

He heard the door open and feet shuffling.

"Good morni-" Leah chirped.

"Shh." Ethan groaned.

"Well, if you are going to shush me then I wonder what will I do with 'the Vienna' coffee I got from Derry's-"

"Gimme that." Ethan muttered under his breath as he uncovered his face and grabbed the coffee from Leah's hand, their fingers brushing, sending a tingle of delight up his arm.

Calm the fuck down Ethan.

"Hmmm... You are blessing on this cold dark earth, sunshine." Ethan groaned in approval as he sipped the scalding hot liquid.

"Wow. You called me sunshine. I feel special. What's got you in a good moo- oh my god." Leah stopped short as she finally took in Ethan's face.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he placed the coffee cup down, feeling self conscious as her chocolate brown eyes observed his face.

She walked around the table and cupped his face so that she could look at him properly.

Woah, woah WOAH WHAT THE HELL?! IS SHE GOING TO-

"Ethan, your eyes are bloodshot red and you feel warm. Are you feeling okay?"

Oh. I don't know whether to be happy or disappointed.

"Yeah I'm perfectly fine. Don't worry about me. I'm just sleep deprived." He waved her off as he reached for his coffee cup.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Leah. Don't worry."

Leah gave him a last look before heading towards the door. "I trust your judgement Ethan. But if you feel sick, let me know."

He nodded into his cup as he saw the girl he loved, leave.

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The pounding in Ethan's head had steadily increased in intensity. His eyes were getting watery from staring at the small print for to long. He was feeling nauseous and at that moment he knew he was sick.

He was at the nurses station, leaning heavily against it because it seemed too much work to stand on his own two feet.

I just hope nobody sees me like thi-

"Dr. Ramsey are you okay?" Leah asked as she watched him warily. She stood next to him and her eyes wandered around his pale face, bloodshot eyes and red nose which made him look like a reindeer.

Perfect timing you got there, Ethan.

"I am... perfection." He said as he turned to look at her, wincing at the sudden movement.

"There must me something really wrong if you messed up the English language. Admit it you are sick." She turned towards him and rested her hand on her waist.

"I don't get sick, it's an unspoken rule."

"That's what they all say.." Esme leaned on the counter, looking sick.

"Ortega I told you to go home. I can't have you making our patients sicker!" Leah grabbed her file and pointed towards the exit.

"Go home Ortega. I can't afford to fall sick." Ethan said as he waved her away.

"Well she can't make you sick because, you already are!! Take a break Ethan." She put her hand on his and squeezed.

"Sunshine... I have obligations and responsibilities. I have no choice, this is what we do we, push through." He parted her hand and walked down the hallway.

That goddamn stubborn son of a bitch. Leah thought as she gritted her teeth.

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Ethan leaned against the sink, heavily breathing. He looked up at the mirror and saw a sweaty, pale face stare back at him.

You are completely fine. You have gone through worse and you have pushed through. You will be fine. Ethan kept on chanting as he washed his hands.

He stepped out if the men's washroom and saw Leah leaning against the wall. "Rookie, no." He said as he trudged.

"I have a case for you. Patient is in his late thirties, he is a complete ass and is so stubborn to a fault. He is sick but is showing signs of denial. Can't hardly stand without leaning on something. I was thinking of doing an MRI to find out what is lodged up his ass."

"Shut up, sunshine. I'm not in the mood."

"Why do you have to pretend to be a superman, huh? I can see that you are sick so why won't you let me help you?" Leah sighed with frustration.

"I'm completely fin- woah." Ethan's world spun and he found himself loosing balance. He stumbled and leaned against the wall. He sunk to the floor and held his head in his hands to stop everything from spinning.

"Are you done with your tantrum? Will you let me in now? Let me heal you?" Leah bent down and took his face in her hands, forcing the disoriented blue eyes to look at her.

"I think I'm sick, sunshine." Ethan said, a sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"I know. And I'm taking you home."

"Will you stay with me?" He asked in a tiny voice.

"Of course E. I'm not going anywhere for a very, very long time."

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Leah had a hand around Ethan's waist as they rode the elevator to his apartment. She waited patiently as she kept on checking on Ethan. His fever had skyrocketed and he had puked twice.  

She had forced his ass into a wheelchair and rolled him to his car. She didn't care that the entire hospital, gawked t this site. After putting him in the front seat, she took his keys and drove out of the parking lot.

She kept on sneaking glances at him from the side of her eyes. She saw that he was leaning against the window and snoring quietly. He was clutching her hand as she drove the car.

She enjoyed the feeling of his hands on hers. And, if she could have it her way, she would never let go of him.

Leah, you have become a fucking sap.

The drive to his apartment was not very long as the traffic was low. As the lift reached closer to their destination, Ethan started feeling light headed.

"I think I'm gonna puke again, sunshine." Ethan groaned as he leaned on Leah, making her stagger as they walked down the hallway.

"Don't worry. We are almost there." She squeezed him to her side and proceeded to open the door to his penthouse.

The moment the door opened, Ethan ran to the washroom while Leah took out her coat and set her satchel and his messenger bag on the dining table. She rushed after him and saw him hugging the toilet seat, breathing heavily.

She sat behind him, on the edge of the bathtub and rubbed his back, saying soothing words as he emptied the contents of his stomach. She ran her fingers through his soft hair, slowly massaging the scalp, to provide some relief from the pounding headache.

He leaned back against her legs and looked up at her with his tired eyes. "I hate being sick." He grumbled and Leah giggled at the site.

"Glad to know you find my suffering entertaining." He muttered as he closed his eyes, his head on her lap.

"No, I'm just laughing at the way you are acting like a baby."

Ethan groaned, "You are going to hold it against me for the rest of my life, aren't you?"

Leah shook her head and patted his head. "Don't worry I won't, you are my baby and I will take care of you."

If Ethan wasn't sick, he definitely would have blushed.

She tugged on his coat, "Take out your clothes."

"If you wanted to get me naked-"

"ETHAN! Shh. I'm throwing your sweaty clothes for wash. Not anything else." Leah said, blushing wildly at the indecent thoughts running through her head.

Getting the memo, he stood up and started taking of his clothes. Leah turned towards the door and let out a breath, feeling her cheeks getting hotter.

She heard the rustling of clothes and the sound of them being dumped on the floor and Leah tried to focus on counting the number of tiles on the wall opposite her.

Just don't think about the fact that the man you love is naked behind you and we will be okay. Her consciousness soothed her.

Ethan felt like a zombie and everything seemed bleary. Everything but her. Even if he were to become blind one day, he would always remember the way her bronze skin shines in the sun, the way her smile would bring out her dimples and the way her body felt when he held her close to him.

He wanted to lean forward and hug her but he knew that it's not appropriate. And the last thing he wanted do was send more mixed signals her way.

"Here." He nudged the clothes forward with this feet and Leah bent down to pick it up never once looking at his flawless and sculpted body. She walked out if the bathroom as soon as she could and headed to the washing unit in his penthouse.

After putting the clothes for wash she headed back to his bedroom where she heard the shower run through the door of the bathroom.

"Ethan?" She knocked on the door.

"Yeah?"

"I am borrowing your clothes because I don't think I will last long in my pencil skirt and blouse. I might burst."

"Yeah, okay no problem! Can you hand me my clothes as well?" Ethan asked as he coughed.

Leah went to the adjacent walk in closet which had a huge mirror with a small bench. On one side, all the shirts were hanging in order of the colours and the other side, there were couple of tuxedos hanging. There were casual jackets hanging on the racks as well and his shoes were kept in organized rows below them.

Damn if only my life was this organized.

She went and opened multiple draws to find a pair of sweats, a full sleeve t-shirt and on impulse, she took a beanie as well.

Who knows, maybe i can convince him?

She picked out basketball shorts, socks and a long loose shirt. She changed into his clothes and hung her hospital wear on am empty hanger.

She knocked on his bathroom door. "Ethan are you decent?"

"Yap."

She entered and she almost stopped in her tracks. Ethan stood there with a towel wrapped around his waist, his glorious abs on display. Drops of water rolled down his broad chest, his abs and his happy trail-

"Take a picture. It will last longer." He said, smirking.

"Shut up." She threw the clothes on his face and stepped out of the bathroom and headed to the kitchen, blushing excessively. She slapped her hand on her forehead and sighed.

Could you be anymore creepier Leah? I swear these... Feelings are impairing my cerebral functioning.

Ethan stepped out of the bathroom, exhaustion taking over him. Taking a shower helped him, but still he felt feverish and weak. Leah was not in his room and he just flopped onto the bed, the desperate need to slip into a s dreamless sleep increasing.

He saw Leah enter with a tablets, water and... A bowl? She placed them on the bed side table and pulled the comforter out from underneath him.

"Take these." She handed him two tablets of advil and water.

He took them and popped them to the back of his throat. After swallowing it he laid back into his bed, enjoying the feeling of his own bed.

She proceeded to tuck him in and sat beside him. She pressed the NCIT on his head and took in the reading.

102.9 °F.

Dammit Ethan.

She reached for the bowl in which she had dipped a washcloth and wrung it. She then put it on his hot forehead.

Ethan shivered and peeped through his close eyes. "What are you doing, Sunshine?"

"Well.. when I used to have high temperatures, my mom used to press a damp cloth to my forehead to reduce the fever. I'm telling you, it will help."

Ethan smiled and nestled comfortably in the sheets, sleep overtaking him, as Leah continued to wet, wring and put the cloth on his forehead.

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Ethan started stirring in his bed, slowly coming out of his deep slumber. He still felt a little warm, and due to the ibuprofen he had sweated so much that his shirt stuck to his body.

He slowly sat up and rubbed his face before stretching. He saw the time on his alarm clock.

11:20 pm

They had come home around 4 pm and the fact that he was knocked out for seven hours really baffled him. He turned around and saw textbooks and patient charts beside him.

She stayed. She stayed with me.

He smiled to himself and he heard footsteps. He looked up and saw Leah, wearing his basketball shorts, shirt and socks. She was carrying a tray and was biting her lip in concentration.

"You are so pretty." Ethan said without thinking. His eyes widened and he wanted to smack himself but, seeing Leah smile at the compliment, made his heart do flips.

"Not satisfactory? Or appropriate?" She teased him as she set the tray down carefully. She wiped her hands on the shorts and pressed them to his forehead.

"Thankfully your temperature has gone down. I made you tomato soup and grilled chees-"

"But I'm not hungry!!"

"Shh. I am the doctor and it's doctors order."

"But I'm also a doctor. I'm the head of the diagnostics tea-"

"But right now, you are a patient. A pretty horrible one, if you ask me. Don't make me force you." She placed her hands on her waist and narrowed her eyes.

Ethan just turned his head the other way. He would have eaten it by himself, but he wanted Leah close to him.

Why are you so childish Ethan? He thought to himself.

"Fine." She threw her hands up and sat down next to him. Ethan scooted to make some place for her she she picked up the tray and placed half of it on her lap and half on his.

She dipped the spoon into the soup bowl , lifted the spoon and blew air on it to cool it down, before she made Ethan drink it. "Oh my god sunshine. This is so GOOOOD." Ethan moaned.

"Well thank you Dr Ramsey. I am deeply humbled." She gave a small smile before dipping the spoon into the bowl again.

And this happened back and forth. Leah fed him and at that moment Ethan almost wished that they were together. This felt so natural. Leah feeding him felt as if it had always been this way. His heart was melting with how much he loved this woman.

The same was with Leah. She stared at his ocean eyes and made him eat. They would casually joke and tease each other. There was just so much contentment at that moment that Leah couldn't help but pretend, that they were dating. This felt like second nature. This felt like forever.

And maybe, just for tonight, she would like to live in this illusion before she would have to go back to the way it was.

Back to the pining.

Back to the secret hand holding.

Back to the lingering gazes.

Ethan finished his meal and practically inhaled the cheesy goodness. "God sunshine, what would I do without you?"

"I dunno, die of boredom? Be super lonely? Show as many emotions as a block of granite?"

Ethan just shoved her and Leah's boisterous laughs echoed around the room. Ethan soon joined her chuckling. Jenner barked and jumped on to the bed, licking Ethan aggressively.

"I missed you too girl. Daddy is sorry for not spending time with his girl." He cooed to her as he scratched the behind of her ear. Leah shook her head and stood up.

"Eat your medicines and go to sleep, E." She said as she ruffled Ethan's hair. "And be a good girl for me Jenner." She scratched the dog's head and the dog reciprocated by licking Leah's hand.

"Are you staying?" Ethan asked hopefully, praying to God that she stays.

"Do you want me to?" Leah asked with one eyebrow raised.

He slowly nodded his head, so that he didn't look like a desperate creep.

She gave him a soft smile and went to the other side of the bed to clear up her things. She lifted the comforter and snuggled into the sheets.

Jenner hopped down from the bed and made herself comfortable on the floor, by Ethan's side.

After settling in, she turned to her side, so that she could stare at his handsome face.

"Hey."

"Hey sunshine." Ethan said as he turned on to his side as well.

The lay there face to face, not saying anything. The quietness caressed his skin like a cool summer breeze, smoothing his soul, taking away his jagged edges. Her silence was comforting and spoke for itself, it was peaceful in a way where you could feel at home and know that no matter what was happening, she was forever there for you.

He reached and cupped her cheek, running his thumb along her cheekbone. Leah reached and clasped his hand, leaning into his hand.

They didn't speak the entire night, they just lay there holding on to each other, their eyes conveying the words unsaid.

The smiles playing on their lips, conveyed their peacefulness and how much they enjoyed each other's company.

The limbs tangled underneath the sheets, conveyed their wishes to be together for eternity.

Their hands, which clutched each other conveyed a promise, a promise that no matter what, they will always be together.

A promise of forever.

The silence which stretched between them conveyed so many emotions which words can't describe.

And this is why, silence is golden.

special shoutout to @miyakokurono​ and @vampiregirlsblog for being my personal cheerleaders in motivating me to complete this fic.

i appreciate each and every person who reads and comments... y'all are the reason im still writing

like, comment and reblog :))

let me know what you want to read next :)) 

[kirstinmaldonado]

CHAPTER EIGHT 2.0

>>Delayed post because birthday week had all the friend surprises and snuggles and I got a bit distracted but…still wanted to post<<

It’s my birthdayyyy week~! My biiiiiiirthday week!

The dreaded time has come? The anticipated event is here? Honestly 28 felt so far away for quite some time, I’m kinda in denial that one, it’s May already and two, I’m going to be 28 this Saturday!!

So far I’ve been filling the week with cuddles, some friends and family calls, and oooo another BESTIE PRODUCTIONS vid?!? We had planned on releasing earlier, but why the rush? Why take the joy out of creating for fun by setting deadlines that don’t really matter? 

Anyway, we hope you love it! It’s always important to unite and spread some relatable cheer especially in such a divisive climate! More on that coming…I don’t mean to do it but…soon. Lots of moving parts and our lives are picking up in different and amazing ways but we still hope to get it out!

Phew. No hashtags here! ;)

So many events happened over the last few days, good and bad! Some even that I am disappointed in, ashamed of, or at a loss for. But! This week is all about self-care! I’ll save the heavy for another time. ;)

Self-care, in its many facets, is so important! Self-care is making healthy food choices to nurture your body so it can be at optimal output. Self-care is strengthening and nourishing your mind by learning something new, doing a hobby you love, meditating, or just purely relaxing. It’s having the awareness to say no when you don’t want to do something or you know the adverse is better for you. Really, self-care is ALL ABOUT YOU!

Biggest of all, self-care is NOT selfish! Everyone needs to be self-aware and know when to take some personal time. Everyone decompresses in different ways. Sometimes that’s choosing an introverted quiet night as opposed to an extroverted one, or splurging on something to make you feel special, or baking way too many cupcakes and eating also way too many (if you’re me, ha)!!

With all the rushing around and intensity we’ve trained our minds and bodies to endure, with all the added stress of not even wanting, but NEEDING to succeed and flourish, that self-care dwindles. Sometimes it feels like you have to put YOU aside because everything else is so overwhelming!

I remember in the past thinking that skin-care took such a loooong time and felt not worth it. My skin (thank you, Mother) was pretty damn flawless for how (wrongly) I’d been taking care of it, so why bother?

That was before I met my sweet Klara!! And while my skin wasn’t in desperate emergency levels of fixing, she reminded me that pre-meditative care is crucial and so is slowing down and taking the time for myself! 

Klara and I met years ago when I was in NYC looking for a lash lift. Pentatonix had just started taking off and just recently Klara had opened her own med-spa in the city. We bonded instantly and have been friends ever since!! 

Meanwhile, if you live in NYC and want the best lash lift ever, ya gotta go to Klara, HANDS DOWN! 

Every time Pentatonix would be in NYC, I would go visit her. Even if I didn’t need anything done or didn’t have the time, I would stop in and say hello because that is the type of beautiful energy she is! And slowly, we began growing together!

I love my friendship with her because not only did she love on my eyelashes, skin, face, etc and teach me how to do the same at home, but she’s been there through the last six or so years of my life! I have transformed into a much more self-aware, happier, and self-comfortable person and I treasure her sincerity, compassion, and late night chats so so much!!

Although I don’t get to see Klara all the time as she is based in NYC, I always have other forms of self-care in a similar vein. As we all know, Covid has shut down pretty much all forms of outside self-care treatments, although someone should tell the people in charge that self-care is essential, eh?!

I kid. Jokes aside, I miss relaxing my body and mind to a caregiver. I miss getting my hair done, getting a mani-pedi, tanning, and getting a massage! I miss that “treat yo self” feeling, and drinking champagne while doing them all, ha!

So, for my birthday week, I wanted to share with you a fun DIY self-care facial curated by Klara herself! My chin has been OUT OF CONTROL and colonizing a little zit farm, so freshening up before my big day (inside lol) felt perfect!!

Since she initially sent me this, she has curated a NEW personalized facial package that she will guide you through on Zoom, but regardless she is an angel for all your skin questions and needs!

>>By the way now that this is posted a week later…my skin has NO JOKE been FLAWLESS! Klara is still a queen for the win but also loving on your face and listening to what it needs also FTW<<

So here I am au natural, pre-peel!! 

ONE. PREPARE YOUR STATION! PUT NICE MUSIC ON, A CANDLE, WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO PROMOTE A RELAXING VIBE! HAVE A CLEAN COUNTER WHERE YOU CAN PLACE THE DENTAL BIB AND LAY EVERYTHING OUT! 

TWO. WASH YOUR HANDS! ;) 

THREE. USE JAR #1 WITH FIRST CLEANSER, ADD WATER, FOAM, BE PRECISE AROUND JAW AND EARS ETC, RINSE, PAT DRY.

FOUR. REPEAT THE SAME WITH JAR WITH CLEANSER #2 (THE CREAM, IT WILL NOT FOAM) RINSE AND DRY

>>Already my face is feeling much softer!<<

FIVE. POUR THE MINI CHEMICAL PEEL (VIAL #3) ONTO COTTON PAD, WIPE WHOLE FACE GENTLY! I EXPERIENCED THE TINGLING AND EEE YES MY FACE GOT RED, BUT NOTHING MAJOR! LEAVE ON FOR 3/5 MIN!

SIX. USE JAR #4 (GLYCOLIC CLEANSER), RINSE AND DRY.

SEVEN. THEN APPLY SERUMS (JUST FEW DROPS) ALL OVER THE FACE

EIGHT. MASQUE FOR 10 MIN. 

NINE. MOISTURIZE!

HAPPY GIRL! I felt AMAZING, y’all!!

You can check out Klara’s ZOOM FACIAL PACKAGE here and on social media outlets! And I am NOT kidding, my skin was SO SOFT!!! I felt less bumpy, less exposed! And it’s stayed like that too! 

This little self-love moment put me in the perfect headspace for a birthday weekend, especially when that weekend was not according to plan! Life is about continuously adapting, taking what you have in front of you, and trying to make the best of the situations you are presented! You can only control so much! So why not focus on positivity?

I was so thankful for this little pick me up that made me feel good about being in my skin, something I’ve struggled on and off with the entire rest of quarantine! But overall I am SO thankful for how special my friends, my boyfriend, my family, YOU GUYS all made me feel! I didn’t feel devoid of any of your love and care. And thank you so much for that!!!

28 has started out so special in some (feeling) unspecial circumstances. I will always rise and fall and even have so far in these mere hours of 28! But I am so happy for your support. Just remember to always support yourself too! 

So on that note, I hope you find time before the month is done for some EXTRA self-care!!!

And happy 3 years to Break a Little <3

Love you all!

[asgardianthot]

Flesh And Bones – Part 9

Soulmate AU

Series Masterlist

A/N: oof this took a while! second to last :( gonna miss cracking my head with this fic lol never again shall I just wing it without a clear idea of how to end a story.

*Important: Hydra base scene but I won’t depict a tortured Bucky, he doesn’t always have to suffer at the expense of his ex-captors and I’m honestly getting tired of the obscene amount of torture fics out there!! Consider this an anti-trigger warning but also a threat? Idk enjoy

The anguish never went away.

Two days later, Bucky found himself knocking on Sam’s door, his heart on his hand.

There was no answer behind the thick walls, but Bucky knew he was there. Somehow, he felt it deep in his bones.

"You okay?" he asked.

The sound was muffled inside Sam’s room, both from the structure separating them and the external sounds that made their way in through the open window. There, Sam rested both hands on the lower frame as he stared outside, more focused on the wind and noise that drowned down his thoughts than the actual view. Bucky’s interruption made him realize he didn’t know for how long he’d stayed in that frozen position.

He slid down the window until it hit its frame, "Yeah, why?” he lied nonchalantly.

His mind was racing. As time passed and brought the team closer to the Hydra raid, Sam worried for Bucky. Not that he wasn’t prepared or that he was being reckless, because he knew that wasn’t the case. What had him worrying was the idea of Hydra potentially targeting Bucky. Although Natasha had assured him a million times that there was absolutely no chances that this was a trap, Sam’s mind couldn’t help but wander around horrible ‘what if’s, ones that compromised his soulmate because Hydra’s finest assassin had escaped them, so they were likely to want revenge on the man. Maybe even try to get him back under their grasp. And if Sam was deprived from the option of saving him, he wouldn’t know how to live anymore.

Bucky’s answer, however, got his head out of the dark cloud.

"I don't know. I feel weird." Barnes mumbled from across the door, loud enough to be heard though.

The last three words alone were enough to bring Sam towards the closed door. Bucky felt him. He felt weird, and wondered if Sam was alright, and he went to check up on him. As soon as he faced the mildly pouty lip, the big brown eyes, the badly concealed worried frown, he wished for nothing else than to kiss that pout away.

Which he did very aggressively. Sam brought his body against Bucky’s, he cupped the brunette’s face by his raspy cheeks and crashed their lips together. He didn’t wait for Bucky’s tongue to dance with his, he made it. When they stopped to regain their breaths, and the make out was over, Bucky looked confused, but in the best way possible.

He caught his breath with an amused look, "Okay."

Sam wanted to laugh with him, address his flourishing emotions, but his worry was far greater. So he showed the man inside and gestures to follow him. They both sat at the end of Sam’s bed.

“Yeah, there’s something wrong.” Sam admitted.

Barnes’ tone became sterner and more precautious, “What?”

Wilson held his hand before speaking.

"Tony said there's no rules or anything.” He reminded the latter of their informative chat with Stark, “But he did make it seem like there was some sort of... I don't know, some sort of progression.”

"What do you mean?"

Sam inclined his head like he was pushing himself to say the next thing out loud, "You've been really nervous lately."

Bucky didn’t flinch, yet he wasn’t comfortable either. The idea of Sam knowing that, finding out that he wasn’t as relaxed about the raid as he wished to play it out, was a quick disappointment.

"Guess you could say that." He looked away.

"I know that.” Sam emphasized the word while at the same time lowering his volume to attain a more intimate tone, “I don't think I should be able to."

Bucky simply shrugged.

"Why can I tell when you're anxious?” He had to insist on his concern. “How come you do too? It doesn't make any sense. Unless..."

"Hey.” The soldier stopped him, already knowing what scenario Sam was forming inside his head, “There's no step back here.”

Given Bucky’s certainty was convincing, and he was becoming aware of the fact that he was overthinking, Sam still couldn’t shake off the sour feeling of approaching danger.

“You’re supposed to be the sane one here, Sammy.” Bucky laughed, which brought a warm feeling deep in Sam’s chest because of the employed nickname, “We're okay. It doesn't have to mean anything, remember?"

That was enough for Sam’s heart rate to drop considerably. Bucky managed to calm him like that.

"Thank you.” Sam said genuinely.

Nevertheless, Bucky could read him. Hell, he could feel his dark feelings not shifting away. So he went into the gray zone he didn’t think he would be approaching anytime soon.

“Is it because of Riley?” he dared to bring up the subject.

Sam was more than taken aback, but he blinked to dissimulate. They had only ever talked about Riley once before, in another heart-to-heart, and it had brought tears to Sam’s eyes. Bucky knew everything, their friendship that was always something more, the love declarations left unsaid, the part where they saved each other’s asses in Afghanistan. Riley was the reason why Sam trusted the universe to be kind, even without a soulmate. He was the reason Sam told everyone you can love without a bond, because that memory was all that was left of the dead man.

“What do you mean?” he let the words out minimally.

“Are you afraid to lose me like you lost him?”

Sam shook his head, rejecting the mere thought of comparing the two men, almost desperately. There were open wounds that he hadn’t had the courage to heal yet. He cleared his throat and tried to shrug it off.

“He, uhm… He didn’t have that crazy serum of yours.” Sam faked an absent mind, although he failed, “You’re not the same.”

Bucky could see right through him.

“Exactly, I’m not Riley.” He grabbed Sam’s chin endearingly. “I heal fast, and you’ll feel me the entire time, and I get that you’re scared, but so am I. It’s why we got each other, right?”

Sam’s vision became less blurry when his soaked eyes dropped a single tear each. They rolled down his cheeks and were wiped away by Bucky’s thumb.

“I promise you won’t lose me.” He ensured his soulmate, who allowed himself to be held and rocked until he felt like talking again.

-

“Everyone on comms?” Steve’s voice barged into everyone’s earpieces.

As soon as the five other voices replied, Rogers gave them the orders required to execute the raid perfectly.

The first two floors would be empty, according to their lead, for they mainly consisted of dirty  storage units meant to distract anyone from even getting close to finding the real base. So, those floors were their entrance and their escape, if ever needed. Hopefully, they would imprison everyone, realistically speaking, a few would be taken out in the process, perhaps killed. Whatever may come out of the raid, Steve Rogers had a whole alphabet of backup plans.

First off, they had to disperse. Steve and Rhodey walked upstairs as silently as possible, reaching the third floor in minutes. Meanwhile, Bucky and Natasha moved forward and explored the premises with their guards up. Romanoff’s excuse to pair with him was that they both had experience with these kind of organizations, although they everyone was rather aware of the fact that she was keeping an eye on the man Sam was worried about. Bucky ignored the reason behind it, and made no comment as the pair was left behind by Sam and Wanda, who walked upstairs.

When the first line of Avengers broke down the door in one swift blow, shield and blasters up with anticipation, they found the entire floor empty. After a confused glance between Rhodes and Rogers, they lurked around every single corner and behind every single door. Nothing.

“This wing is clear.” Rhodey said through his earpiece.

Although it didn’t seem to upset the rest of the team half as much, Sam was experiencing his fair share of anxiety. He looked up to the ceiling, as if he could burn a whole straight through and peak at the floor in question.

“Where are they?” He whispered to himself.

A minute later, Steve sent another command, “I need guns on the front line.”

Barnes rolled his eyes in mocking of his best friend.

“Nobody talks like that, Stevie.” He taunted him.

Yet Steve didn’t appreciate the joke, for he was far too tense. His eyes moved around frantically, looking for a possible trap, which his paranoia was leading to.

“Guns first.” He repeated himself clearly, “Something feels off.”

But nobody got there. Before Bucky or Natasha could even reach the stairs, a set of loud noises surrounded them. In every floor, metal doors fell from the ceiling, blocking exits and doors. These doors weren’t too intense, but their tech hadn’t picked up on them, which meant they were expected. Every Avenger found themselves trapped in their respective zones. As for Barnes and Romanoff, they were too apart from each other to even see the other’s face.

So, deep in his fear, Bucky raised his gun and checked every wall his sight could reach, almost waiting to be attacked. If Natasha was completely honest, she would have bet Bucky was a target, as well. That is what everyone’s minds went to, especially Sam’s. Luckily, he had the company of Wanda right next to him to feel calmer.

"Everyone okay?" Rhodes checked.

Sam and Wanda replied with their status and whereabouts, but after a lack of response from the other two, the man confirmed their status on his wrist screen, only to see that Barnes and Romanoff were off-line. He figured they must’ve been trapped downstairs.

"We gotta move fast.” Steve ordered, keeping his Captain-like calm, “Try to get to the control panels, if not, evacuate. They know we're here."

Wanda and Sam. Walking slowly. Careful. Not many places to hide, but there must be a way out.

“He’s okay.” Wanda let Sam know.

They walked side by side, as slowly as possible. There weren’t many places to hide nor another entrance that they knew of, on the second floor, yet they remained precautious.

“What?” Sam let out without paying much attention.

“I’m saying, he can take care of himself.”

Once Sam understood that Wanda was playing the best friend card in letting him know she knew Bucky to be strong, he realized he probably looked too worried.

He fought back his frown. “I know that. I’m just…”

“Anxious?”

“We’re trapped in an underground intelligence base,” He sighed loudly, “shouldn’t I be?”

The statement earned an acknowledging nod from Wanda, who waited a few more seconds to press his earpiece and reach the Captain.

“Steve? You think it’s okay if I tear down a wall?” She asked for permission to jump into action.

“No.” Steve denied her dryly, “Bucky and Nat are on their own, we won’t engage until they’re safe.”

The young woman shut her eyes with annoyance, “Okay, Steve? You’re not helping Sam stay calm.”

She received no further comments. Everyone felt too powerless after all. No comments.

Down in the bottom storage, the place began to look more like a maze. It was a mess of similar, dusty hallways and old, closed doors. Natasha tried each and every single one of them, but they were useless, and she figured they wouldn’t get her anywhere, anyway. It might as well have been an underground cellblock.

“Barnes, give me a sign.” She asked for a second time.

Bucky indulged her, complying with her attempts at finding each other. Together meant safer.

He thought hard about his whereabouts, “East wing’s on my… left side.”

“I can’t get through to anyone else.” Romanoff finally said what seemed obvious to both of them.

The soldier couldn’t help but take a deep, calming breath, for it was a much needed one. He gripped his gun harder, trying to ease himself.

“Me neither.” His mouth spoke in disconnection with his brain, which was submerged in paranoia by now.

Natasha could sense that.

“We’re okay.” She did her best at calming him realistically, as she looked around for a way to find him, “You said east wing? I think I got you, Barnes.”

Suddenly, a gunshot was clearly heard, making Natasha turn around in a haze, only to find herself alone, and realize that the shot came from afar.

“Crap.” Bucky groaned, his communicator still on.

After the sound of three other guns and what appeared to be Bucky’s rapid machinegun, the woman panicked.

“Talk to me.” She ordered him.

"I got hostiles!" Barnes screamed over the noise of his own weapon.

As soon as Natasha realized she could hear where the attack came from, she followed the echo, running. Eventually, the sound drowned out.

“Bucky?” she asked, fear crippling through her.

There was no reply but the sound of Bucky panting. She managed to find a grilled gate, which she shot and kicked open easily, all the while her mind raced to the worst case scenario. Sam had trusted her with his soulmate’s life.

Finally, she hit the scene: two dead bodies on the floor, both hostiles. The soulmate’s life was still intact.

“Good, you’re alive.” She breathed out, pretending she wasn’t just losing her mind mere seconds ago.

Nevertheless, she quickly noticed that Bucky’s panting was linked to whatever made him hold his ribs so painfully. Then, Bucky removed his flesh hand from that zone in order to look at it, revealing to both of them that the hand was covered in blood. As terrified as Natasha was, her expression couldn’t match Bucky’s.

"You’re shot." She stated with wide eyes.

Bucky swallowed hard, "We have to find Sam." He said roughly.

As Romanoff processed Bucky’s fear, the latter looked around for an out in desperation. He was worried that Sam was hurt. Sam, who couldn’t bleed out from a soul bond wound, while Bucky had his fingers pressed against a pool of red.

"He'll live.” Natasha approached him carefully, “You, on the other hand..."

Barnes shook his head. "Sam first."

-

Wanda was known to save the day without too much effort. Turns out, the Hydra base was covered in desperate traps because they were too vulnerable to withstand a raid. Therefore, the witch tore down the metal walls and flew up to help Rhodey and Steve, who didn’t need too much aid as it was. Sam stayed down, fully aware that the other three were probably kicking ass, and still worrying. He ran downstairs as soon as the blockade was taken care of, in need of finding Bucky safe and sound, even if he knew that he was.

And he knew he was okay, because Sam himself hadn’t felt a single sting. Not a gunshot, not a bruise, not even a scratch.

So, if Sam felt untouched, then Bucky must be.

Finally, he heard the pair, and found them at the bottom of the stairs. He jogged the last few steps and noticed that Bucky was holding himself up against the wall, limping. The latter looked up with big, concerned eyes.

"You okay?" He asked Sam.

That was when Sam saw the bloody hand pressed against his soulmate’s chest. Natasha was helping him stay on his own two feet, while Bucky examined Sam’s body like his own life depended on it. Technically, that was the whole deal. Wilson pushed his own hand against Bucky’s and frowned.

"Did you get shot?" he shouted in despair, his eyes as big and afraid as ever.

"I'm sorry. I tried-" Bucky tried, but cut himself off with a grunt of pain.

"Buck." Sam grabbed his torso.

"Let's go home." Bucky begged.

"Yes. We will.” Sam’s tone became serious and authoritarian, “Sit down."

"I'm fine."

"He's losing a lot of blood." Natasha confirmed Samuel’s suspicions.

In between the frantic commands and worrisome looks, Bucky couldn’t help but notice Sam’s lack of discomfort. Almost like he hadn’t felt a gunshot in his chest a few minutes ago.

He frowned with confusion, "Why are you-?"

"I didn't feel it.” Sam shrugged it off, way more focused on the open wound, “Sit down. Bucky."

"What do you mean-?"

"I didn't. Bucky!” Sam grabbed the face of the stubborn, hurt man with his free hand, smearing blood all over his cheek, and yelled to his face. “James! Listen! There was no bond. Right now, that's not important. You're bleeding out."

"They didn't hurt you?" Bucky seemed to finally understand.

“No!”

The new information hit Bucky like a soft, warm wave of tranquility. If Sam wasn’t hurt, if Hydra hadn’t hurt Sam, then he didn’t need to worry. He could breathe. And as he breathed, he felt a sharp pain in his chest, along with some heavy dizziness.

"That's good." He mumbled, looking past Sam with lost eyes.

"It is. Now calm the fuck down." Wilson begged, trying to take a good look of the wound.

Bucky nodded, finally compliant, "Okay."

With that last word, Bucky’s eyes rolled back into his skull, and he surrendered to tiredness. He stopped feeling anything other than her very light head, until everything went black.

"Shit.” Sam cursed under his breath, catching him before he hit the ground completely.

He eased his partner’s fall and let the passed out body rest against the wall.

“Give me a hand.” He asked Natasha.

They managed to sit him straight against the wall, in order for Sam to press his hand against the bleeding gunshot. Nat said something over the communicators for the rest of the team, which Sam didn’t fully catch, before she knelt down next to her friend. She examined the wound, then Bucky’s pupils and let out a breath.

“He’s gonna be fine.” She appeased Sam.

“I know.” Sam said without giving it too much of a thought.

The woman gave him a wondering look.

Sam merely shook his head with uncertainty, “I just do.”

[faerieyoongles]

Inamorata

By: @lwannag0h0me-c0m

Yoongi x Reader

Plot: Werewolves are assigned a human soulmate from birth, as werewolves cannot reproduce with other werewolves. Although humans cant tell when they’ve met their werewolf soulmate (mostly because they think werewolves don’t exist), werewolves become fully aware once they are united with their true love. Most werewolves meet their soulmate around mid to late teenage years (because that’s when their bodies become sexually mature). Yoongi is 18, almost 19, and on his last year of high school and still hasn’t found his soulmate yet. He’s starting to believe maybe he doesn’t have one, until one day a new girl named Y/N enters the school.

Chapter(s): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Genera: Werewolf au, fluff, smut, (a lil bit of angst), supernatural romance

Chapter 5

Again, this chapter is unedited, lol sorry. It’s also pretty short but the next chapter will be good I promise.

Warning: There is a slight mention of rape. It’s only one line but just be aware. I promise it’s only for a short moment.

When you woke up, your head was throbbing. It felt like a nightclub was taking place inside your skull, cause the pounding of your blood bumped in a rhythmic pattern. It was probably due to you hitting your head on the ground when you fainted. You where lying on a couch alone, with no one else in the room. You looked down at your clothes to see you still had on the same clothes as before but they where all dirty and a bit torn, your knee was a bit scrapped and your elbow had a bandage on it. There was a wet cloth on your head as well, which you removed once you noticed it since the water was leaking into your shirt making your back a bit damp. The sofa creaked as you sat up. Looking around you recognized the room to be Yoongi’s living room, not only cause you where in there earlier, but cause there where pictures of him, his parents, his friends, and other people you didn't know hanging up on the walls. You sighed. What the heck even happened? Where’s Yoongi? How did you even get back here anyways, you guys where supposed to play the bottle game at the playground. 

When recalling the playground you finally started regaining your memories. Everything came back all at once and it was too much for you to handle. Chris showing up, him and the guys getting into an argument, Jungkook telling you to stay back, Yoongi telling you to run, and then finally.... seeing them all deformed like and growling. Surely it must have been a dream. Even if it was, it still freaked you out so much to the point where you started wheezing. You felt short of breath and your stomach was doing flips while your head was spinning. You held onto your chest and tried to focus on you breathing, but your efforts seemed useless. It wasn’t necessarily common for you to have a panic attack, but every once in a while when you where really stressed or scared one would pop out. Last time you had one you where back home and your cousin was there to help you, but right now it was just you in the room and being alone kinda freaked you out even more. Tears then started escaping no matter how hard you tried to hold them. You really didn’t feel like having a panic attack in the middle of your boyfriend’s living room, but it didn’t seem like you had a choice.

Jungkook was the one who carried you back to Yoongi’s house and took care of your injuries. He rushed into the house frantically and Bitna came rushing from down stairs to ask what was going on. He told Bitna what happened and she assisted him in laying you down on the couch. Bitna had gone down the the playground with a few pack members to make sure everything was okay, while Jungkook stayed here with you. When you woke up, he was downstairs looking for extra pillows, blankets, and maybe some snacks. He knew you where probably gonna freak out once you remembered what happened so he wanted to be prepared, but it seems like you woke up earlier than he expected. He ran up the stairs when he heard heavy breathing a slight sobbing. He looked to where he had put you and saw you sat up holding your chest.

“Hey, hey... it’s okay, it’s okay” he comforted. He sat down next to you and rubbed your back. “You’re okay, just breath.”

“What- what happened?” You sobbed between breaths “What was that? I- I don’t-” You where finding it difficult to address the situation. How are you supposed to ask why and how your boyfriend and his friends turned into wolves? Was it even possible?

“Shh..” Jungkook said soothingly “Yoongi will tell you everything once he comes back, why don’t we get you some water, yeah?” He helped you stand and held your hand while leading you to the kitchen. You calmed down only slightly. Jungkook was helping a bit, but its not like you watch someone transform into a wolf everyday. He helped you sit down in one of the kitchen chairs and left you for a brief moment to fill up a glass of water. He then placed the water in front of you and sat in the chair next to you to continue rubbing your back like he was before. You took the water and started drinking. It helped stop the intense crying, and washed away the mucus that was forming in your throat.

Now only sobbing a little, you  could get more words out. “What happened, Jungkook? Where’s Yoongi? And everyone else? Oh god, please tell me that wasn’t real.” He had a look of sadness in his eyes. It was understandable that it scared you seeing them transform, but it worried him cause he didn’t want you to be afraid of him too.

“It was real, Noona.” Jungkook rarely called you Noona, but right now he wanted to show you that he cared for you, plus he didn’t want you to be scared of him too. “I don’t know where everyone is but they’ll be back soon. When Yoongi Hyung comes back he’ll explain everything, okay?”

“Everything?” You questioned. There was more? Jungkook just nodded.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about, but I promise there a good reason to why. Just please trust us.” He was now almost begging you not to freak out.

“Can you at least tell me me what happened back there, what happened to them? It’s like they morphed or something. I- I don’t even know how to describe it. Can you do that too?” Jungkook nodded slowly. You had so many questions, the main one being ‘What the actual fuck!?’

Just then, the back door opened abruptly, scaring the two of you. “Jungkook! Where is she? Is she okay?” yelled a familiar voice from the other side of the house. It took you only a few seconds to realize it was Yoongi. Yes, you where kinda freaked out by him, seeing him transform and all, but you where in such a state of panic that you wanted to be in his arms right now. When you could see him from the door way in the kitchen, you stood up from your chair and rushed over to hug him. He did the same as well. He was worried that maybe you and Jungkook didn’t make it back here on time. Chris had gotten away and Yoongi spent a while trying to find him to make sure he wasn’t anywhere near you, but despite his best efforts, Chris wasn’t anywhere to be found. Bitna then showed up ordering the boys to transform back. When they did, she scolded them for being careless. At first, Yoongi thought she was talking about leaving the boarder when he knew you where in danger, but after more explaining he realized Bitna was actually scolding them for not being careful around you and transforming right in front of you. Yes, it was stupid for them to leave the house, but it was even more stupid to try and start a fight with another wolf when an unknowing human was around. Yoongi then rushed home, now more terrified of you leaving him rather than you being taken away. You rushing over to hug him diffidently reassured him. For you, hugging Yoongi only made you cry more. While you where crying in his chest, all of Yoongi’s other friends started piling into the room as well. You where a bit embarrassed to crying in front of so many people, but right now that was kinda the least of your worries.

Yoongi felt guilt knowing the reason you where crying so hard was because he scared you, he started rubbing your back and petting your head to try and calm you but it didn’t seem to be working. “Yoongi,” said Bitna, “why don’t you bring her to your room and, ya know.. answer her questions?” Yoongi just nodded and proceeded to lead you upstairs to his bedroom. Closing his door, he sat you down on the end on the bed and rolled his desk chair over to sit in front of you. He sat close enough so he could rub your leg while trying to help you calm down. After a minute or so, you finally started talking.

“Yoongi, what happened?” You started “I was just collecting bottles with Jungkook and we walked back to give them to you guys so we could start the game and then Chris was there. Jungkook told me to stay back but I didn’t understand why, and Chris like.... I don’t know... fell to the ground and a fucking wolf appeared in his place and you told me to run. When I looked back everyone was like all deformed and.... god, I don’t know, just not normal looking I guess. Plus the thing with the wolf running after us this morning, like is there something your’re not telling me?” You retold the story in your point of view even though you both already know what happened. “What are you a fucking werewolf or something?” You said sarcastically, not really expecting him to answer that.

Yoongi took a deep breath, preparing himself for something he had been dreading doing for the past two months. “Yes” was all he said. Both of you where silent for a moment. Was that seriously his explanation? He’s a fucking wolf? You let out a sharp breathy chuckle, not really believing it.

“Seriously Yoongi, this isn’t the time to joke. I wanna know what’s going on.” You where kinda annoyed that he was playing games at a time like this. If it was something really serious he could just tell you, he didn’t have to make up idiotic lies.

“I am serious” he stated with a straight face. Nerves where now building up in his stomach more than ever before. Again, you let out a short laugh.

“Okay look, you don’t have to tell me right now but you don’t need to make up lies either. I just-”

“I’m not lying” Yoongi cut you off. He was now getting a bit annoyed that you weren’t believing him. He was talking with desperation in his voice. “Why would I lie to you? I have no reason to, plus how else would you explain us transforming like that, huh?” He took your hands in his and looked you straight in the eyes. “I swear on my life I’m telling the truth. I know it’s a lot to take in and I understand that, just please please please believe me..” You just kinda looked at him for a minute. He was right, he had no reason to lie to you and that did explain them literally transforming into wolves, but you grew up thinking werewolves where a fantasy, something made up just to scare children at night. Plus, you where still in shock from earlier so you weren’t really processing information well right now. Your brain was scattered the werewolf explanation fit perfectly well with the events that happened today, but still it was hard to believe. “I can prove it.” he said. “Everyone down stairs is a wolf. My parents, my friends.. heck, this whole neighbor hood is full of wolves. The wolf chasing after us this morning was Chris and I stopped running when we got to my back yard cause there’s a pack barrier around the whole neighborhood. Everyone who lives here is a wolf and and I wanted to tell you so bad but I just........” he kept going on and on about anything he ever wanted to tell you. he even started to tear up a bit felling like a weight wad being lifted off his shoulders.

“Woah!” you cut him off “woah woah, okay.. slow down.” Yoongi let out a big puff of air. “This is too much. Please, just... start from the beginning.” And so he did. He told you about his parents and his pack, his friends how he grew up. He talked about not having a mate and finally finding you. He also talked about Chris and how he thought he was just a normal human at first, and how he was challenging him. He explained the bonding ceremony and why werewolves had human mates instead of other wolf mates. Anything he could think to tell you, he did. At the end, he even added an apology for not telling you sooner and keeping from you for so long. The whole time you where listening, a part of you believed him and a part of you didn’t. Again, he had no reason to lie and everything he was telling you was in so much detail that it would’ve been impossible for him to make up on the spot. Still, a werewolf was a hard thing to believe, and you found yourself constantly thinking of other rational explanations for everything he was telling you. 

When Yoongi was done talking, he just stared at you face. You where frozen and your brain felt fried from all the information you had just taken in. “So.. you’re telling me you’re a wolf..” You said very slowly, repeating what he told you to make sure you understood what he told you, whether it was a lie or not “and wolves can’t have other werewolf mates, so that makes me your mate, and when we first met you.... felt it? and now my ex boyfriend, who apparently is also a wolf, is trying to ‘challenge you’ so he can take me away from you.” Yoongi nodded his head after every sentence you said. “I’m sorry but.... what? I wanna believe you but it just seems... I don’t know.. insane?” Yoongi huffed once again. He just poured his heart out to you and you still didn’t believe him. 

“I know it’s a lot, but all I’m asking is for you to believe me.” he said.

“And I want to but, how can I! I mean you literally telling me you’re a wolf, Yoongi!” The conversation was quickly turning into an argument.

“I told you I have no reason to lie to you! Even if I did I wouldn’t want to! Why can’t you just take my word for it?”

“Because it’s... It’s crazy! This kinda stuff only happens on TV and in movies!”

“I know it’s a lot to take in, but stop calling it crazy or insane! It’s hard to believe I get that but stop looking at me like I don’t know what I’m talking about!”

“Okay well you said that all your friends are apparently wolves too right!?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well, let’s see what they have to say about this, this shall we?”

“Fine! Go ahead!”

You got up and stomped down the stairs, Yoongi following close behind. Everyone was now sitting in the living room talking about the events that happened at the park and what will happen next. They where all a bit shocked to see you down from Yoongi’s room so quickly.

“Okay!” You shouted to catch their attention. “Who can tell me what actually happened at the park? Yoongi is telling me this wild story about you all being werewolves and I need a logical explanation, now!” Everyone just looked at each other for a minute. You looked pretty pissed and they didn’t want to fuel the fire. “Well?” you sneered. It seemed not talking at all made you even more mad anyways, so Jimin started first.

“It’s true.” he said quietly. Seriously, what the heck is with everyone? Was this supposed to be funny or something? “We’re all wolves. Everything Yoongi hyung told you was true.”

“Ha! Okay, who’s the genius who came up with this? Hm? Come on, who’s idea was it to play a prank on me?” Again, there was silence. “Guys..” you said desperately. All you wanted was a fucking reasonable answer, was that so much to ask?

“Honey,” Bitna jumped in. She walked over to you and rubbed your shoulders. “I’m afraid it’s true.” Now that Yoongi’s mother, who was apparently the pack leader, was also confirming it, it made you shut up and realize that maybe this wasn’t a joke after all. “Come sit, please.” She lead you to the arm rest chair she was sitting in before she got up to talk to you. “It seems like an unimaginable explanation, but just trust us.”

You looked at everyone in the room, waiting for someone to yell out’ Ah ha! Got you!’ but no one did. Tears started leaking once again, and panic creeped up for the second time. It wasn’t another panic attack, it was just a feeling of being overwhelmed, not only with information but with conflicted feelings. How could they be werewolves? It was surely impossible, or so you thought. “You need to understand, hun.” Bitna said “Chris is a very dangerous man and you going anywhere alone could put you at risk. You may think you know this boy, and you may think he’d never hurt you but he will. If he tries to.. you know.... impregnate you... since you’re not his mate, it could end up killing you. He may not actually hurt you, but if he’s challenging another wolf for his mate then that means he probably wants to, well, mate. Being impregnated with a werewolf’s baby could kill a human, unless it’s their mate. It rarely ever works, and if it does end up working, then you will most likely die during the birth, rather than before. Does this make sense?” You just nodded your head mindlessly. You where listening, but not really processing it. Basically, If Chris tried to mate with you, which it seems like he does, then you’d die due to the genetic information not being right. This was also another reason why wolves where assigned to someone, so their genetic information would fit perfectly together. “For the time being we need to make sure you’re protected. The barrier around the neighborhood keeps wolves not in the pack out, but at school or at your house you almost defenseless. I assigned some of my pack members to keep watch over your house day and night, so if you see more wolves than usual just know they’re watching over you, okay? You can ride the bus like normal, and they boys will just have to watch over you at school. There’s already some of my best wolves out looking for Chris now so we can find him as fast as we can. Don’t be scared, Y/N. Don’t be scared of us or Chris, we’re all here to protect you.” You nodded your head again, feeling extremely nauseous. Not only was your boyfriend and his friend wolves, but now you could probably be raped and killed by your ex who is also now a wolf. This was not how you thought your day was gonna go. 

“I think..” you started. “I think I just wanna go home and lie down for a bit. I fell kinda sick.”

“I’ll take you home.” said Yoongi.

“I’ll send you both to go to your house along with some other wolves who are trained to protect and fight when they need to. There’s no way I’m letting you outside of the barrier again with out protection.” Said Bitna. You and Yoongi just nodded and you sat up to get your shoes. Yoongi did the same and opened the back sliding door.

“We’ll wait outside then until they come” He said as he led you out. Now outside and in Yoongi backyard, you where now alone once again.

“I’m sorry.” you said quietly.

“For what?” he asked.

“For not believing you. I mean, I still don’t really know what I believe, but it’s not cause I think you’re lying. I just, don’t know how to take this in, ya know?” you felt awful for starting that fight earlier. If you really where at risk for being taken away, then you wanted to make any moment with Yoongi last as long as you could.

“It’s okay.” he said

“No, it’s really not. I shouldn’t have acted like that.”

“Y/N,” he took your face in his hands “you are not the only person to have acted like that, usually everyone acts like that when they first find out. I’d be concerned if you reacted any less than that.” he laughed. He started rubbing your cheek with his thumb, and suddenly your head stopped spinning. The fact that you two where basically made for eachother was the only thing that actually made sense to you. You then leaned in to kiss him. He moved his hand from off your face and wrapped them around your waist while you wrapped yours around his neck. The kiss was soft and sweet at first, but it soon turned desperate and rough. Yoongi really thought you’d run for the hills after finding out what he was, but you where still here and you weren’t scared. So yeah, of course he was gonna kiss the living hell out of you. As the kiss got sloppier his grip got tighter. His lips then moved down to your jaw, and soon to your neck. You’ve never been kissed on the neck before. Guys had tried to kiss you there before, but it never felt right. This felt more than right. Yoongi’s kisses turned into lick, and then sucks, then bites. The list goes on. You where totally into it, it felt nice. It was rough and passionate but it was also filled with love and care. You haven’t felt this loved in so long. A few quiet breathy moans escaped your lips every now and then. If Yoongi could take you right here, right now, he would. It probably would’ve ended like that too if someone didn’t interrupt. A few minutes later you both heard an “Ahem” from behind you and you both frantically pushed off each other.

“Ready to go when you are” said a man from Yoongi’s pack. There where three other people behind him, ready to escort you home. Yoongi just nodded to them, and took your hand while you all walked into the woods to your house.

The walk back was silent. It was probably awkward for everyone else, but for you, you where too preoccupied with your thoughts. You where thinking about everything you where just told, it was still hard to believe, but none the less you decided to believe it anyways. Arriving at your house, Yoongi gave you one last goodbye kiss before walking back to his house. One of the four wolves walked back with him while the other three stayed to patrol the outside of your house. You walked inside the door and headed straight for your room. You dad must have not been home yet, cause he would’ve said something once he heard you come in.

You opened the door to your room and threw yourself on the bed on your stomach. Today was wild and confusing. A million things where still circling thought your head and you took a few minutes to try and sort them. Werewolves, seriously? Why wouldn’t they just be in a gang or something, that would make more sense. Why werewolves? You felt extremely tired so you dragged yourself to the shower.

After doing your nightly routine and cleansing yourself of all the dirt you collected from the woods, you changed into your pajamas. After putting your tank top on, you looked in the mirror to see something spread around your neck. It seemed Yoongi had, well.. marked his territory. Hickey and little love bites where scattered across your neck, something you had never seen on yourself before. You trailed your finger over one of them. In all honesty, you kinda liked it, but you knew you’d have to hid them from your dad or else he would freak. You figured hiding hickeys where the least of your problems right now, so you went to bed deciding you’d deal with them in the morning. You thought you’d have trouble sleeping due to the hectic day you just had, but surprisingly you feel asleep almost instantly. Holy smokes, tomorrow was gonna be interesting..

End of Chapter 5

[whitewolfbumble]

Those Unspoken Years (Sam Wilson x Reader, One Shot)

Summary: You, Sam, and Riley were a team, but because you had failed on that one fateful mission, everything changed. Back home, you were still trying to work through your guilt when your old partner shows up and faces you again.

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Reader

Warnings: Death, PTSD, survivor’s guilt, language, some angst liberally peppered in!

Word Count: About 3.5k

A/N: This was an Anon Request for Sam Wilson: “Hey so I was hoping if you could write fanfic with sam wilson and reader, they were like great mates in army and they reunited again, you know something nice, maybe a bit angsty. It’s just there are not so many sam fanfics and I think he deserves so much love. Thank you in advance” I hope you enjoy love! It’s certainly a little bit intense in spots! Forgive me any ignorance for the army stuff... I am chill Canadian and not really into that kind of thing! lol

MY MASTERLIST // SEND A MARVEL REQUEST

“Ten miles out, sweeping the target zone.” you said into the comm.

Your boys were up there, already in position, waiting for your word. It was the second last mission before you left back to HQ then home. After this one you were air support for a convoy. Basic. An easy send off to a challenging and rewarding few years together as a team.

You were the 58th squadron, an elite pararescue team, skilled in the EXO-7 Falcon proto-type. No one was better than your team was.

The three of you had been a unit for three years now: training, living, surviving, and kicking ass together. You hadn’t expected it to be easy, but the three of you clicked faster than you thought.

You were their commanding officer. A woman, trying to keep in line two young flyboys with egos and attitudes too big to fit into a jet plane, much less a jet pack. But your own attitude rivaled most men and you had the added benefit of giving the orders here. Eventually your relationships eased into ones of respect and devout trust once they realized you were always right, you would always keep them safe, and you were definitively not without humour yourself.

By now, you actually loved these two jerks.

“Skies are looking good up here... I’m really going to miss this.” Riley said wistfully.

“Don’t worry soldier, the sky happens to be pretty well all over the world so youre in luck.” you teased.

“Ha, ha.” he said drily.

Though your voice was light and easy, your eyes were scanning the screens in front of you, bunkered down in a big canvas tent, boots digging into the sand underneath you. Your base of operations was wherever you needed it to be, and today it was in a scalding hot hidden inlet on the edge of a pile of rocks. Hidden from view, you stayed focused on the images in front of you, your two flyboys little blips on the screen.

Despite the satellite image you pictured them up there, cloud and air whipping past them, focused and flying free.

“Readjust Wilson, keep steady at 43 degrees.” you said in your smooth commanding tone, before switching back to your normal one. “I’m surprised you left that come-back to me Sam... Loosing your touch in your old age? We have been out here a few years now.”

“Flight path adjusted, 43 degrees. Confirmed.” said Sam. “Hardly, just looking forward to getting the sand out of my boots for good and home to sweet ole American soil.”

“Aren’t we all.” you agreed, shifting your boots in deeper. “Eight miles out and counting.”

“Eight miles. Confirmed.” came Riley’s voice.

“So where are we flying off to after this?” Sam said. “I’m thinking somewhere at night...”

“A boozy downtown bar.” you filled in, continuing his idea.

You were used to playing this game with Sam. Imagining happier scenarios than the ones you were in kept you all sane. Of course it would be shut down by you before they engaged, but it kept any nerves at bay in the meantime. The storm was bad enough sometimes, and waiting for it in anxious silence just made it worse.

You had tried in the early days to play the three of you, but Riley’s suggestions were always boring when he did answer, which usually had took ten minutes. Part of the game included the one who broke the chain had to buy a round of drinks. Riley would always make you both break out of feigned frustration so it was easier just to exclude him (much to everyone’s playful jabs back at the base).

“Playing Smokey Robinson.”

“With one smoking hot bartender Jacques.” you teased, flicking on the backup satellite locator, used to pinpoint your two flyboys should satellite one go down.

You were always careful. It had kept the three of you alive so long. Triple checking and vetting any intel was part of the daily routine.

“With you there, I have all the smoking hot I need.” Sam quipped.

“Ha ha, yeah right Wilson.” you said, interrupting the game. It meant you had to buy the next round, but you didn’t care.

“What? This is our last mission. I can finally start flirting with you.” he said.

“Second last,” you corrected, keeping the flutter in your stomach down. “I’m still you commanding officer until it’s done.”

“And when it’s done, I’ll ask you out to that downtown bar.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure you will.” you said, a little roll to your eyes to no one. 

More than once Sam had flirted with you- just a little- but just enough to keep you wondering and keep a little burning heat flaming in your gut. Deflecting was easier than going along with his subtle words. It would save your heart quite the crashing fall if he was just joking.

You were secretly head of heels for that sarcastic, kind-hearted fool. His bravery and soul-rooted goodness shocked you time and time again. He had not once failed to do the right- and often the hard- thing. Your respect for Sam had grown through the years, planting itself deeper in your heart day by day. In a world full of blood and death and bullets, his steadfast warm-heartedness remained.

And now it wasn’t long until you could find out for sure if he felt the same.

But also, not long until you could actually act on it. Once this and the next mission was done, he would no longer be your subordinate. You could flirt with him as much as you wanted too. Go on that date like you wanted too. Find out if kissing him was an exercise in expressing his gentle spirit, or intensity like he had during a fight...

“Alright boys, comms cleared.” you said, clearing your throat. It was definitely warm in here, for a few reasons. “We’re t-minus five miles until the target. Systems and secure comm check now.”

“Sam, systems cleared. Mission is a go.”

“Riley, systems cleared. Mission is a go.”

“You know the drill, and easy point a shoot, alright. Target coordinates are locking in now, just following the big green ball, grab the loot, then turn tail and fly home. No heroes today, neither of you are cut out for it”

You switched your target system from standby to active, the recon team under your command having swept and vetted the area. The target- Khalid Khandil- was clear, located in a small building on a large private property lot. 

Rampant security detail kept helicopters or more serious artillery from moving in, so your elite squad was called in. The mission was to take out the security detail surround him, extract the target, and get back to base. Minimal casualties predicted. Stealth and speed was the name of your game, and the three of you had that in spades.

“All points, confirm guidance system up.” you continued, flicking on systems in prep for engagement.

“Guidance confirmed.” they both rung out. Little green lights should be lighting up the enemies in their googles now, while yours were on another screen that tracked their vitals

“One mile out. Okay, make me proud boys.” you said, as you always did. “Engage full force when you are within range.”

You were miles and miles away from them so all you had was you monitor screen of the satellite image and their voices on the comm. But you had been in the field yourself for years. You knew exactly how harry a fight could get, and how fast.

The comms were silent now, everyone holding their tongue as their energy went into focusing, breathing, and mentally preparing for this mission.

It only took a few minutes for everything to go to shit and your worst nightmare became your reality.

“Firing at will!” Sam yelled in his comm, sudden sounds of bullets ringing out. “Enemies engaged!”

The boys rang out the numbers they took down, calling back for support from the other when needed, you directing and commanding the two from afar.

But soon you heard explosions above the bullets. They were terribly loud with a high pitched keening sound before a cracking boom. You knew that sound.

“Wilson, confirm what it is I’m hearing. Are there explosions RPG’s?” 

Your screen was lighting up like bursts of light were popping up all around them. You knew what it was before you asked, your stomach sinking.

“Confirmed! RPG’s!” Riley answered back, yelling over the shrieking noise, unending sound of a full firefight coming in loud and clear.

“Ten men down- shit!- eleven!” Sam roared, dodging grenades and explosions.

This was wrong, the fight should be over by now. On your screen you saw multiple enemies looking to be coming out of bunkers among the flashes of light. 

This kind of engagement was too much for the two of them. Your recon of the area didn’t pull any of this up and they needed to get out of there now.

“Pull back!” you shouted to them. “That’s an order!”

Your instincts were generally flawless, and this may have just started but it wasn't ending fast enough. You didn’t consistently win and you didn’t save lives by taking unnecessary risks. Your commanders put a lot of stock in that, appreciating you taking such good care of their expense equipment. You more so cared about the men in it.

You watched the two of them whiz around the area chaotically, trying to avoid grenades rocketed in the air, exploding all around them.

“Squad, I’m pulling you out now! Get back to base, that is an order. We aren’t pr-” you started, before Riley spoke over you.

“They all have them, I can’t -we can’t-”

An explosion rang out loud in your headset, jerking you from a tense sitting position to standing, eyes wildly searching the screen for your squad.

His terrified, pained scream blasted your ears on the other end, before silence.

And in that moment your world was shot out of the sky.

“Wilson, Riley!” you screamed into the headset, heart somehow both racing and stopped in your chest. “Confirm your positions!”

But the screen didn’t lie. 

He was gone.

Riley was gone.

Shot out of the sky.

Miles away from him, you watched their vitals, one little blip where two should be.

You were the commanding officer. 

This was on you. 

Solely on you. 

You had killed him.

“Sam,” you said, voice low and loud, instantly in full commander mode. “Our satellite has Riley down, can you confirm?”

“He’s... he’s.” Sam sputtered, then let out a ferocious yell, whizzing through the air, firing everything he had in shock and pain and fury. You saw enemy after enemy go down at his skilled hand.

“Confirm damn it!”

“Confirmed.” he yelled eventually, voice cracking. “I have an opening, do I have confirmation to take it?

You paused a split second before continuing, shocked and weighing your options quickly. Voice steady you answered as your eyes filling up with tears.

“You complete this mission and get that son of a bitch, then get your ass back here now, soldier! That’s an order!”

Years later, you were back in D.C.

Your life since losing Riley was a myriad of deep uncover missions, taking you farther and farther away from that day, from Sam, from all of it. You received medals and honours, some public knowledge, many off the books. 

Your determination wasn’t about the recognition. It was about burying the pain of losing both Riley and Sam in the same day. In different ways they were both out of your life forever. The guilt of Riley’s death on your shoulders, the unspoken love for Sam strangling your heart.

You had a hard time with Riley’s death to this day but in the days just after the mission, it was a thousand times worse. You remembered the look on Sam’s face as he came back to base with Khalid Khandil in tow. Soldiers carried the man off, leaving the two of you there alone.

As you reached out for him, you dusty, grim soldier, you almost completely broke yourself. The only think keeping you up was how much Sam broke in your arms. He cracked and cried and crushed you under the weight of his grief. You held each other, riding out waves of pain and anguish and failure. But eventually, he pushed you away, wiping his eyes and leaving, unable to be near you.

He shut you down. And you understood why,

It had been your fault. All of it. You should have known. You should have been there. You should have managed the situation better. It was on you. And it was right that Sam blamed you. That he push you away because of it.

So Sam retired from the army, moving back to D.C.. But you couldn’t do that. Your punishment wasn’t enough. And you figured Sam wouldn't want you now, even in the same country as you.

So you stayed. And you fought. And you rose through the ranks. You collected badges and medals and honours and respect. You were an unstoppable, uncompromising force, channeling every bad experience you had into winning, into protecting those that you could protect. Because you couldn’t protect Riley. And you didn’t have the one person in this world that could make you feel something, anything resembling love or joy.

But your time there was not endless. It couldn’t be, even your superiors understood that.

So here you were now, back in D.C. of all places, on a special request. The last one you would receive.

The hall was dressed up simply, beige walls and folding chairs in front of the podium. They had moved it down off the stage at the back to the main floor, wanting a closer, more intimate feel.

Little flags and banners and frills were covered in red white and blue here. Your three colours were different: brown and black and red. Dirt and darkness and blood.

“Last week when I flew back here from my hometown,” you continued to the small crowd. A crowd of veterans and soldiers that understood your trauma. 

“I had a flight attendant with the same name as him. And all I could hear for the rest of the flight was the sound of him screaming as they killed him. As I let him die. It’s filled my dreams. It’s what I heard every time I put on my headset for a mission. The sound of a man- of a friend- dying because of my failure.”

You weren’t crying. You weren’t close to this anymore. It was life. This pain was what you’ve been experiencing for years. Crying over it now you might outwardly say to someone was childish, but inwardly you knew you just couldn’t spend that emotional energy on it. You had never fully dealt with it and just didn’t really know how. Same with the love you felt.

But you looked at the crowd of soldiers, all there for the same reason. They were all carrying the pain of the death of someone or the price of killing someone. They were trying. You all were trying to deal with this baggage.

“I came back here to receive my final honour for my service. A special ceremony in my honour, here at the capital. But all I’m going to be able to think about is the fact that he won’t be able to do that. That he didn’t get a chance. That he would've been a far better soldier than I turned out to be.”

You took a gulp of air before taking a gulp of water from a little dixie cup you brought up with you.

“But I’m going to try now. Try to grieve. Try to live. In honour of him, but for myself.”

Without the army as a cover, you had no choice but to do so now. 

With that, you sat down, and the speaker took up his spot back at the podium. He wrapped up the session, coming back to you to shake your hand afterward. You didn’t feel much like talking, so you politely excused yourself to get another little paper cup of water.

You didn’t notice that someone had been watching from the doorway behind you the entire time.

Standing at the little refreshment table, you threw away the little dixie cup, lingering while the others began filing out. You heard someone walking up beside you and turned to see a man you were not at all expecting.

Sam Wilson.

He hadn’t changed a bit, not to your eyes.

Wearing jeans and button up unlike the last time you saw him, he still wore the same crooked smile that always had made you smile unconsciously back.

This time you just couldn’t.

“Sam,” you breathed.

Shocked, he pulled you in for a hug. Memories of Sam coming back after Riley’s death, breaking in your arms flooded your mind.

When he pulled away, you cleared your throat, stepping back a little.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” you said, still shocked. You stomach was on the floor and your heart in your throat. “How are you?”

“Doing well, living my own life now.” he said lightly, though his eyes told another story. You just weren’t sure what. “Congratulations on your honour... though I just don’t think you’ve been doing too great huh.”

He nodded to the podium. You swallowed, unsure how to respond. 

How did you even talk to someone you had known deeply- had loved deeply- that was absent from your life for years? You had at one time spoken to him about your dreams, your feelings (save the ones for him), your goals and plans, everything. And he had done the same. 

Should you act like you had forgotten? That he wasn’t still- even after all these years- the most important person that has ever been in your life?

“I’ve taken my time,” you admitted. “Don’t know if I will ever get over it.

“Don’t say that.” he said, stepping forward, taking your hand. You looked at his hand in yours, feeling the smooth warmth spread across your fingers. Another, familiar warmth spread in your stomach.

It was only for a moment before he let go and stepped back a little. 

“I don’t mean to... well, I’m sure you have someone else in your life now, to help you.”

“No, not quite. The army kind of disapproves of that kind of thing on the job, and that’s where I’ve been since you left.”

“I didn’t want to leave.” Sam said, suddenly. Fuck, that wasn’t the point you were trying to make.

“No, no, you... I’m sorry, I don’t know why I put it like that.” It was impossible to think you would be this awkward with him of all people, but here you were, proving yourself wrong.

“I wanted to stay, Y/N. Really I did.” he said, voice low and rich like you remember it to be. “I would have stayed by you forever. But I just didn’t think you wanted me too.”

... What?

“Why did you think that?” you said, more than a little floored.

Before Sam could answer, a few volunteers came in to put away and clean the refreshment table you were standing against. Sam lightly took your elbow, leading you across the hall to a small, quiet room.

He took a moment, hands on his hips before getting into it. You tried not to focus on his lips, somewhat unsuccessfully. God, it had just been so long since you laid eyes on him. Long enough to convince yourself that the man you remembered was not the same as the real deal. But heart-achingly, he was even better.

“Listen, Riley’s death was awful.” Sam started, trying to find the words. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget that or him. Because it was my fault. He was my partner and he died beside me. You blaming me for that and not want me around wa-”

“What?!” you exclaimed, completely floored before just letting the floodgates you had pent up for years open wide, unbelieving he could possibly have felt that way. Now the tears started coming, filling up your eyes with a vengeance for the years you denied them.

“I was the commanding officer. He was mine to look after, to protect. You both were. And I failed. I felt shattered, guilty for so many reasons, and I thought you didn’t want me around. I loved you and knew that it was all my fault, that you would never-”

But you didn’t finish, Sam’s arms wrapping around your waist, arms pulling you closer while his body pushed you back against the wall. He lips were suddenly set to yours, earnest and sweet.

He pulled away only slightly to look down at you. You hadn’t had enough time to stop the tears, looking up at him through still watery, stunned eyes.

“I uh, I understand now you said “loved” as in you don’t anymore...”

“You’re right,” you swallowed, gaze locked to his, drinking in his eyes and smell and heat pressed against you. “I said “loved” but I... meant, well I mean... love. I loved you then, and I just... never stopped.”

You felt his chest well with emotion, jaw clenching tight against it. You expected him to kiss you again, passionate and intense as his eyes grew a deep, fiery look. But instead, he softly moved his fingers across your cheek, surprising you with how gentle he was, then into your hair.

“I loved you too. I still do.” he said softly.

He might have kissed you. He might have literally just said he loved you. But you still couldn’t believe it. Not after all this time longing and aching for him.

“Since day one in fact, when you berated my ass for making a stupid, cocky decision, and saved my life in doing so.” he said, smiling at the fond early days you had together.

“Yeah,” you joked, looking down and wiping a tear away. “You were the worst soldier I had seen. I’m surprised you made it out alive.”

You let that line slip, heart sinking and body shocked still as you remembered.

Riley. 

Oh god, the pain gripped you again, seizing your lungs and soul. 

But Sam leaned back in, wrapping you into him deeply. He stood, holding you together like you had done for him once.

“I got through this,” he whispered in your ear. “Let me help you get through this.”

All you could do was wrap your arms tightly around him, pressing your face into him. 

"Just don’t let go, not this time.” you whispered through choking tears.

“Never.”

Thank you for the request, Anon! I have yet to read a single Sam fic or write for him, so I’d love to hear what you all thought!

Tags: @dontpanc @thefalconsam (because well, Sam)pp