#took me 30 minutes to post this because net is shit

[linusbenjamin]

The Boys 3.07 | Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed

[27dragons]

New Year Countdown: Dec 30

I forgot again! I was actually going to sleep last night and thought, "oh shit, did I remember to post?" and then thought, "yes, of course I did" with the full memory of shuffling around my file and everything. Bad memory, no cookie! So for yesterday's belated post, have some Cyberpunk Steve/Tony, and since I'm going out tonight, I'll put tonight's post in the queue for later.

Dec 30 - Stony - Cyberpunk AU - Fireworks

It always took Tony a few minutes to recover when he dropped his connection to the Net. The nanites were so fast, faster than thought, and if he dumped them without the proper procedures, he’d be half-stunned, unable for a few minutes to think properly or even move his body without tripping over himself.

So he kept his eyes closed, breathing carefully and counting the beats of his heart until the spaces between them seemed merely slow and not interminable.

When he did open his eyes, Steve was standing in front of him, waiting patiently. “You back in the real world?”

Steve wasn’t wearing his smart armor, just a standard BPV, so the situation couldn’t be too bad. “The Net is real,” Tony said for probably the thousandth time. “But yeah, I’m back in meatspace. What’s up, Cap?”

“Not sure,” Steve admitted. “There’s rumors floating around that something’s going to happen down by the river. I thought we should go check it out.”

“No idea what?” Tony wondered. “You want me to dive back in, see what I can dig up in the Shadows?” He tapped at the housing embedded in his chest that maintained the nanites when they weren’t in use.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Netters,” he said, fondly exasperated. “I thought we could go check it out in person.”

“Old man,” Tony shot back at him, grinning. “You spend all your free time pining for the old days, don’t you?” He reached for his overcoat. It wasn’t armor, but it was lined with protective panels, and besides, it was cold out there. “Who’s staying here to keep an eye on the children?”

Predictably, Steve said, “Bucky.”

“And who’s going to keep an eye on Bucky?” Tony teased.

Steve shoved Tony playfully -- and gently, because despite his grousing about the danger of too much cyber enhancement, Steve’s skeleton and musculature were boosted and he could put Tony through a wall if he didn’t keep a tight rein on his strength.

They made their way out to the street and headed toward the river. “What do you think we’re going to find?” he wondered. Steve didn’t seem tense, like he was expecting trouble, but he did seem a little nervy.

“Don’t know,” Steve admitted. “You know, you spent the whole day in the Net. Must be hungry; want to stop at Joey’s for a burger on the way?” He waved at the diner’s signpost, just half a block from where they were passing.

“You don’t want to chase this thing down first?” That wasn’t much like Steve.

“From what I’ve heard, we’ve got some time.”

Tony shot Steve a suspicious look, but he seemed not to notice. “...Sure. Burger would be good, actually.”

Steve drew Tony into a discussion about the latest smartlink upgrades as they ate, and then they bickered lazily about whether Bucky should let Tony work on his cyberware or if he’d be better off going to WakandaTek for maintenance, and Tony forgot about his concerns. By the time they left Joey’s, they were well into a threadbare old argument about enhancements for Steve’s holoshield.

It wasn’t until the first explosion made Tony all but jump out of his skin that he remembered why they were wandering the streets in midwinter. “Fuck!” he gasped, ducking into an alley for cover and looking around wildly. “What was that?”

Steve looked up into the sky, and Tony followed his gaze. Against the purplish glow of the city’s night sky was a sparkling glitter of lights.

Steve grabbed Tony’s wrist. “Come on, it’s starting!” He tugged, and Tony was helpless to do anything but follow.

Another explosion lit up the sky with jewels of color and light. “Fireworks?” Tony said. “Your mysterious something was fireworks? You tricked me into a patrol to... what, get dinner and watch fireworks?” He blinked as the obvious answer occurred. “Is this a date, Steve?”

Steve shot Tony a slightly sheepish smile. “Well... yeah. If you want it to be.”

Crowds were gathering, now that it was apparent the explosions were benign, but there was no one there who knew them. Tony leaned into Steve’s warmth and looked up at the blooming colors in the sky, and smiled as Steve’s arm wrapped around his shoulders.

“Happy New Year.”

[kleines1904]

Imagine – Alex Morgan - Part red

My heart nearly broke all the bones to find its way out of my chest the first time I played for Portland. The Thorns were such a good and respected team in the US, it was always my dream to play in the NWSL, to play for them. Never would I’ve imagined that these years would be the best time of my life, especially the six months after my first season. Being the top scorer in the league opened a few opportunities, like playing in some European countries, but I decided against all of them.

 The reason for that?

 Pretty easy.

 Alex Morgan.

 I always believed that I wouldn’t fall in love with someone head over heels, that I’m independent, that I don’t need another person to be happy. Everything I needed was a ball, the cheering of the crowd in the background the second I stepped on the field, and my friends.

 I was so wrong.

 From the moment I met her I knew Alex would play an important role in my life. Being openly gay and supporting many foundations for LGBTQ+ soccer players made me one of the most popular players in the league. But the most important advantage: I didn’t need to hide who I was. Everybody in the team knew, it wasn’t weird at all (read: ‘Lesbians in the locker room? No problem’). When I got kicked out of my apartment, I had a few options, but Alex telling me she would love to have a roommate again shut out everything else. I can still remember the moment I told my friends back in Germany, everyone laughed at me for a whole minute before they realized I was serious about it.

 Alex being openly bisexual and single for a long time never bothered with hiding her beautiful, naked body at home. Sure, we did shower together a lot, ‘cause we were both playing for the Thorns, but walking around the apartment in nothing but a towel or even less was something different. I needed Christen to talk me into talking to Alex, and Tobin telling me she would do it otherwise, to actually girl up and tell the forward about my feelings for her.

 It took us five minutes to lay down on the couch and make out, I was never happier in my life. I never thought life could be this wonderful, that one could be this happy.

 I closed my easy smiling at all the memories. Biting my lip to stop a big smile spreading across my face I started playing with the tape around my left ring finger, realizing I’m not wearing my favorite ring. It was different every time I had to take it off, especially when I was playing for the German national team and Alex wasn’t by my side. When we didn’t start a game together with the Thorns, we always support each other from the bench or the stands.

 Today was different.

 It was the first match of the Women’s World Cup in France and while we had to play Alex and the team were busy preparing for their first match miles away. It certainly felt different without her, that’s why I was often caught playing with the ring around my finger (‘a promise ring’ Alex told me when she gave it to me on my birthday, I cried a little), my teammates really thought it was a good idea to record it and show it to the whole world on twitter. I will never hear the end of it from Tobin, Kelley and Christen…

 I took another deep breath when we got out on the field, knowing my teammates and my whole country needed me to be at my best tonight. While the national anthem was playing, I looked around the stadium. I didn’t sing, something I picked up from my good friend Megan Rapinoe, we both had our reasons for that. After the whistle blew to start the game I was in my zone. It wasn’t a surprise when I scored twice that game, always kissing my ring finger after a goal and thinking about the love of my life.

 /////

 “You did it! Semi-finales!” I laughed as I jumped in Alex’s arms.

 “You too,” Alex let me down slowly and kissed me on the lips before I could breathe in properly. Who needs to breathe when you can feel Alex Morgan’s lips on yours? “I’m so glad you’re here.”

 Behind her I saw Kelley shuffling around nervously, knowing she was anxious to finally walk over and get a hug too. Kelley, Christen and I knew each other from college, where we played together for years. Back then I was so inspired by the USWNT, if I had a say in it, I would play for them, unfortunately I’m not making the rules. Germany has a great team and I loved playing a big role within the team, but my heart always belonged to the NWSL and everything the USWNT stands for.

 “Come on in here.” I finally said when Kelley was about to bolt over and was only hold back by Allie who was shaking her head. Seconds later I was surrounded by my teammates and friends.

 “So, you have a few days off,” Alex began when everyone calmed down and Kelley was done teasing me about all the Instagram stories and twitter.

 “I do have a few days off, yeah.” I looked over at my girlfriend who wore the promise ring I gave to her, I smiled and tried not to blush when she gave me a kiss on check, despite us being in the hotel lobby where everyone could’ve seen it.

 “Okay so after we got some food, I need to show you something in my room.”

 “Is that so?” I stopped and whirled her around so I could look into her beautiful eyes, I saw her eyes shining with something and swallowed. “You have a room for yourself?”

 “Yeah.”

 “Oh.”

 Alex tugged at my hand, and a few seconds later I followed her out of the hotel. We dropped each other’s hands automatically and started walking to the vegan place Alex claimed being the best in Europe. My head was still clouded with her having a room for herself, which was rare. I felt a bit guilty when I only answered short, but Alex seemed to know what was going on, because she kept smiling and smirking at me teasingly.

 Playing a World Cup game is always exciting, but I can tell you, having a half-dressed Alex Morgan sitting on your lap is much more thrilling. My hands wandered to her sports bra while she was trying to get my pants off in a hurry, I had to laugh and break the kiss to help her because her fingers were shaking so much.

 Two days later I had to say goodbye, gaining a few hugs from the team again, but everyone knew we would see each other shortly after, because two days later it was the semi-finale: USA against Germany. I loved and hated everything about it.

 /////

 I ran out on the field with my teammates, enjoying the cheering of the crowd while we started our warm ups. A few minutes later I heard the crowd going wild again, I automatically looked up at the USWNT coming out on the field. Luckily, I was too focused to let a goofy grin take over my face when I saw Alex. She was also focused, as everyone else, this was a big game for our respective countries.

 When we walked to the locker room, I saw Pinoe running my way. With a big smile I hugged her and ignored the ‘I love you, but we’re gonna beat you’. Moments later I locked eyes with Alex, who smiled. My body moved on its own, while we hugged each other I heard the crowd around us going wild again. Being wrapped up in her scent made me take a deep breath, I never wanted this to end.

 “Good luck babe.” I said and smiled at her when we broke the hug. “Just stay healthy okay?”

 “Yeah, you too. See you after.” Alex replied and touched my shoulder again before she headed off to her teammates.

 /////

 It was the 30th minute when I saw one of my teammates break through on the wing, I instinctively stayed a few yards behind the defenders. Seconds later the ball came my way, I stopped it and dribbled around Julie, before I was in a good position and shot the ball right by Alyssa into the net. My heart skipped a few beats when I heard our fans cheering, but after a few seconds I held up my hands, signaling I won’t be celebrating much. My teammates jumped on my back yelling at me how amazing the goal was, and yes, I was proud, I was excited for us going to the finale, but we still had to beat the best team in the world.

 Only ten minutes later Christen scored a goal, I had to physically stop myself from walking over and congratulating her, and stopping the tears forming in my eyes. She has been through so much last year and now she scored such an amazing goal. Slowly I leaned down and took a deep breath, this was going to be the most difficult game in my life, and I would do everything for us to win.

 /////

 “Shit are you okay?”

 I wanted to scoff, but put my foot on the ground and hissed when I felt the pain. Becky looked at me apologetically, Kelley was also on her knees by my side, same as a few of my teammates. It was a mistake by Sam, who tried to play the ball right by me, but I was wide awake and stole the ball before it could get to Christen. Minutes before I did something similar and nutmegged Tobin, if it wasn’t for the whole world watching she would deny it till her death, but the counterattack ended with me only hitting the post.

 This time I waited for my teammates to get into the box and tried to dribble around Becky, who obviously wasn’t having my shit today. Just when I was looking up, I felt a sharp pain in my ankle and then my body fell on the hard ground. I knew immediately something was wrong.

 My breath caught in my throat when our medical signaled to the bench that I couldn’t play anymore. Becky walked away after I nodded at her, but everyone knew I wasn’t okay. I made eye contact with Alex, who was hovering close by. I could see how worried she was, I gave her a nod, even if the pain in my ankle didn’t stop for a second.

 Watching the following 20 minutes from the bench was hard. I know we had the potential to maybe get to overtime, but realistically I know they were too good. When I saw Lindsay kicking the ball inside and Alex being a bit faster than her opponent, I know she would score. My heart sank into my stomach, I knew this would most likely be our last game, they wouldn’t give away a 2-1 lead.  

 “Wow, bold.” I heard someone mumbling beside me. When I looked at Alex, I saw her making the tea sipping celebration we talked so much about. I smiled, truly happy for her.

 When the final whistle blew, I slowly stood up and hobbled on the field. I had to comfort a few of my teammates, especially the ones who played their hearts out tonight for 90 minutes. After I limped to the circle in the middle of the field, I listened to our coach saying a few words. In this moment it all became real; we hadn’t made it to the finale. My whole body screamed at me, after the long tournament, the physically and emotionally exhausting game days, it seemed like it was all for nothing.

 The following minutes flew by, I could only breathe again when I saw Alex walking my way. She had that little smile on her face I loved so much. She was also still worried, because she looked at my ankle, which I still couldn’t put weight on, and up to my face again.

 “Congrats babe,” I mumbled when I put her into a long and emotional hug. We didn’t let go of each other for what seemed liked minutes. “I’m good, don’t worry. Your goal was so great.”

 “Thanks.” Alex buried her face into my neck, before she took a step back and looked down again. I rolled my eyes. “But, you can walk, right?”

 “I can.” A smile took over my face, her voice was rougher than usual, due to all the screaming on the field.

 “Thank god. Becky just tried-“

 “I know,” I interrupted. “don’t worry about it. You’re going to the final, and it’s your birthday- happy birthday by the way.”

 “This is the fifth time you’re congratulating me today.” Alex laughed a bit, she still had her arm around my waist while I was leaning on her, only partly because of my hurt ankle.

 “I don’t care.” Her eyes sparkled when I grinned at her. “And now go and celebrate with your team, prepare for the Netherlands.” I ignored Alex rolling her eyes about me being diplomatic again when she helped me stumble to the sideline. “You deserve it. I will call you tomorrow, okay?”

 “Okay babe.”

 Alex made sure that someone was near me to help me go to the locker room when Kelley and Tobin came over. We talked for a few minutes before we parted ways. I took one last look at the stadium and then at the team across from us.

 I knew they would make it.

 /////

 If someone would ask me what has been worse, my still injured ankle or sitting in the stands while your girlfriend and most of your best friends are playing a World Cup final, I wouldn’t know the answer. Every time the US was close to scoring a goal I stood up, at one point I couldn’t even feel the pain in my ankle anymore, I was too excited and too anxious.

 Alex had a few chances to score, but it took a defender trying to kick the ball away from her high in the air to start the game entirely. I worriedly watched as Alex still laid on the ground, even from this distance I knew she was hit. I could breathe again when Alex stood up and Pinoe scored, we were on our way.

 A few minutes later I frowned when the Netherlands had a few breakthroughs, luckily without scoring, Alyssa made sure of that. A counterattack lead by Rose brought Alex into a good position, she stopped and dribbled by the defender, before she took a shot. I jumped out of my seat when she scores, my hands held high, before I gave my ring a kiss. When I looked back down Alex formed a heart with her fingers and hold it my way, it was the first time a tear escaped my eyes since we lost in the semi-final.

 /////

 Everyone around me was smiling, laughing, having the time of their lives. Pam, Alex’s mum had her arm around me while we watched the players on the field getting their gold medals. I’m sure at least five different cameras caught the moment, but I didn’t care. Alex and I loved our privacy, we tried not to kiss and being overly romantic in public, just because we thought it was something between and for the both of us. It was even more surprising when she came running to the stands after the game and immediately pulled me in for a long and passionate kiss. At that moment I didn’t even care about the headlines in the morning, or the possible hateful comments, I was so proud of my girl that I could only grin, she deserved it. They deserved it.

 That smile dropped from my face when I stood in front of Pam’s car minutes later. I had to blink a few times and look at my phone again, but Alex really did just do that.

 “What are you looking at sweetie?” Pam asked, I jumped and locked my phone before she saw what her daughter just did in front of the whole world. The dancing, the champagne, Jesus Alex.

 “Nothing, just- they are celebrating.”

 “Sure they are.” Pam eyed me, before she helped me into the car. It was definitely inappropriate to have these kinds of thoughts while sitting in your girlfriends’ parent’s car, but, damn it Alex.

 /////

 During the drive to the party location I had to laugh too hard and too often at the different Instagram stories the USWNT posted, Pam literally took my phone away because she nearly drove us off the street due to my emotional outbursts. She ignored me pouting like a pro.

 The second the door busted open I knew we were in for a long night. I got a lot of videos and pictures from the girls celebrating, hence the motherly act from Pam to separate me and my phone, but it was so much better live. Kelley screamed into my ear when she hugged me, already wasted but still thoughtful to not step on my injured ankle. After she ran off to her girlfriend, I was pulled into a hug by Christen who gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

 “I’m so proud of you.”

 “And I’m proud of you.” She leaned into me while we watched Tobin who talked to her family. I literally couldn’t put into words how proud I was of my friends. Then I caught a glimpse of Alex who already had two wine glasses in her hands and bit my lip.

 “Is everyone really that wasted?”

 “Because of the nonstop drinking for two hours and the ignoring-concussions-thing going on?” Christen and I looked into Kelley’s direction, who was oblivious while she chugged down a beer. “Yeah.” She laughed while I pushed her softly in the direction of Tobin, who couldn’t stop glancing over at us. I could see how happy she was to have Christen by her side again.

 “Hey babe.” I whipped around to look at Alex, still with two glasses in der hands while I had hardly touched the beer her father gave me minutes ago.

 “Hey Champ.” I laid my arm around her and gave her a soft kiss, but this obviously wasn’t enough for both of us. Alex circled her arms around my waist and opened her mouth while we kissed, I couldn’t breathe for a moment. After a full minute of kissing her passionately I felt a tap against my shoulder and smiled while I took a step back. Alex pouted, but Tobin didn’t look that impressed while she pointed at all the cell phones around us.

 After I congratulated everyone on the team and staff, I sent Alex off to keep partying. She didn’t really want to leave my side; I couldn’t decide if it was for her being protective of me or her not being able to walk straight anymore (as if ever). She was seriously drunk.

 While everyone took pictures of the team dancing on the counter, I only had eyes for her. I felt a bit embarrassed when I caught myself being grateful for the USWNT winning the World Cup. I would’ve given everything for us to win, but I’m also glad that my best friends get to have these moments together. By the looks of a few of them, especially Alex, Julie, Kelley and Rose I knew they would be hangover tomorrow and the days after (read: please, drink water).

 I knew that a week, months or even years later we would look back at this tournament knowing it was one important milestone for so many things. But the most important one for me: My girl was world champion, again.

[antpernas]

12/29/20

Today was less eventful than yesterday, but still pretty eventful!

So, I woke up before my alarm went off, and I literally didn’t get out of bed until 10:00 AM! It’s ok though, because I texted some friends and talked to my sugar daddy and stuff. For breakfast, I just had some greek yogurt and granola, and then I went straight back to my room. Then I just texted (and took pics for) my sugar daddy, and then I picked out a bunch of stuff that he can buy for me when he wants, per his request! I’m not a very materialistic person, so I was kind of hard for me to come up with ideas at first, but I’ve realized there are a lot of little frivolous things I’ve always wanted (concept art books, Studio Ghibli movies, etc.) but have never had the money to splurge on, so I’m gonna use that as the bulk of my gift list for a while!

Around 12:00, my mom asked me to go help her with some deliveries, so I finished up with my sugar daddy and started getting ready to go. I brushed my teeth, did my skincare, put on a cute fit, then headed over to her! She gave me a few medicines to take care of, two of which I went to go do at that moment. The rest were to take on the way back from my piercing consultation.

Originally, I had a hookup planned with a bottom for about 2:00 or 3:00 PM, but he ended up saying he wasn’t comfortable with recording so I didn’t go.

So, at 4:00 PM, I had my piercing appointment! It was really cool to finally meet the guy who’s pretty much going to be my new piercer/jewelry wholesaler and chat with him about jewelry and piercings and stuff. He was really sweet too! I remember I had called him while I was on the way to my mom’s pharmacy and I completely confused the shit out of him by trying to give him a rundown of my situation, so I think he thought I was crazy at first. Which, like, yeah! BUT I think he ended up taking well to me and it was all good. They ended up having just one more of the item I was looking for in stock (a flat back post for my earring) and it was SOOOO liberating to finally have my full set back again. While it was getting sanitized, we browsed the supplier sites to look at jewelry and talk about future piercings. After the earring back was ready, I payed and was on my way!

In the car, I facetime a friend while I spent about 30 minutes trying to shove the earring backs through my shrunken ear lobe holes. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to try and wiggle it in or just push harder (the answer was to do the latter), so it definitely took some time. But I got it to work though!

Once I finished there, I went to Chick-fil-a for a very late lunch, then finished the deliveries for my mom. I called some friends on the way home, and that was that!

When I got home, my brother and my dad were playing volleyball, and I invited a friend who’s back from college to play with us. They were practicing spiking, and my dad asked me to hop in, so I did. What I could not have expected to happen, however, was going to spike a ball that my brother had set close to the net and having my earring hook on to the net and rip out from the flat back post. We spent 10 minutes trying to find it, but to no avail. To say I was in pain would be an understatement.

As if to add insult to injury, my dad then raked the sand in our court to even it out for a game, thus effectively burying that shit and removing any possibility of spotting it without digging. When my friend got there, we rallied for a bit and taught her some tips on how to play since she’s new, then played a game. I went in after just one since I was in a bad/sad mood over my earring.

My mom had brought home pizza while we were all playing, so my friend and I ate while we were chatting in my room. I told her about my sugar daddy, she told me about her boyfriend issues. A dynamic! Eventually, we both wanted to shower so I walked her outside and hugged her goodbye.

I was inside for a little bit before I got the very sudden and strong urge to get a sieve and just sift through the sand to try and find my earring. At this point, it was probably like 11:00 PM, and I stayed out there until like 3:00 AM just sifting through sand in the general area I thought the ring had fallen. I texted and called some friends while I was doing that, and even did a little mini twitter thread about it. Cute!

After I gave up there, I looked up and messaged some ring finding professionals, so hopefully they can come over tomorrow. After that, I went inside and made some videos for my sugar daddy, took a shower, and did my skincare, and now I’m ready for bed!

Good night, be safe!! I love you!! Sweet dreams!!

[san-sebastian]

ON ‘LUCK’ AND MY TRIP TO SYNDEY

I’d like to start off by acknowledging the fact that I am lucky. This might sound counterintuitive, but I am. For instance, I’m lucky that I have the privilege to travel to Sydney on a year abroad from London.  I’m lucky to have a strong network of support to help me out at a time like this. I’m lucky I like Indian food (more on this later). Nevertheless, the fact that one is lucky doesn't exclude the possibility of unlucky things happening to them. And holy shit have I had unlucky things happen to me in the past few days. 

July 25th, 2019. Everything seemed in order for me to travel to Sydney. I had arrived in London to find my two packed suitcases laying intact in my room, which had been cleaned. All that was left for me to do was to officially move out, get a new phone, and see my closest friends in London for the last time in a year. By 15:30, I was ready to go. In a state of sadness, nervousness, and anticipation, I took the Piccadilly line from Finsbury Park to Heathrow Terminal Two. One could argue that this is where things started to go wrong. Sure, you could also claim it was the fateful day I decided to book my itinerary to Sydney via Zurich on the 25th of July, or the day I applied for a year abroad in Sydney. You can always trace it back and pinpoint it anywhere you find convenient. But for the sake of simplicity, let's just say things started to go wrong on the Piccadilly Line from Finsbury Park to Heathrow Terminal Two. 

It didn't come as a surprise that the tube was delayed, and I knew I should have given myself more time. I told myself: ‘Everything will be fine if things run smoothly at the airport!’. It was too loud on the tube to hear the mocking reply: ‘Hah! As if!’. I made my way to the check-in desk - the first of four journeys to the same check-in desk. In my first journey, my bag was overweight by 1 (one) kg. They wouldn't let me through. I took out some essentials and repacked. In hindsight, this actually saved my ass. Once again, in some way, I was ‘lucky’ - even though I didn't know it in the moment. In my second journey to the check-in desk, I was told I was on standby and as a consequence couldn't pay for an extra bag. I made my way to the queue for the ticket desk in order to sort this out, but it was massive. I realised check-in closed in 10 minutes, and I wouldn't make it on my flight if I waited my turn. I see now how ironic that is. I explained my situation to a Heathrow official, who passed it on to his colleague, who passed it on to another colleague, who finally passed it on to what appeared to be an important employee at Heathrow check-in. ‘They’re new here’, she said to me apologetically. In my third journey to the check-in desk, she wavered my extra bag and let me through. I was on my way to the plane, which was delayed. All good! For now. 

It’s always reassuring when you're in a rush at the airport and your plane is delayed. You think that things are working in your favour. That is, until you’re sitting in the plane and the pilot announces that operations has cancelled the flight due to impending storms coming North across the English Channel. I didn't believe it at first. My two connecting flights, one waiting for me at Zurich and the other in Singapore - both missed. My flight to Zurich might as well have said Sydney, and it was cancelled. In situations like these, there's really nothing you can do. Hence, my fourth and final journey to the same dreaded check-in desk. I was rebooked on a flight for the next day, at 21:30. ‘It’s not ideal, but it could be worse’, I thought. I was naive to trust the black hole that is the airport administration system. 

Back on the Piccadilly Line, 24 hours later. Round Two. I learnt from my mistake and gave myself ample time to sort everything out at the airport. Specifically, I wanted to know if my bags would be sent to Sydney, as I hadn't checked them in again. I asked three different people, and they all assured me it would be fine.  I felt quite satisfied, as I had managed to get a free bag, and I didn't even have to carry my ~50 Kg of luggage back and forth from the airport a second time. Finally, things were looking up. I boarded my flight on my new itinerary with Air India. All I can say about my journey across the world is that I’m lucky I like Indian food because that’s all I ate for 24 hours. 

Honestly, I wasn't surprised when my two bags, essentially carrying my whole life and everything I own, didn't show up on conveyer belt 15 at Sydney Airport. I wasn't surprised, but I couldn't accept it. I couldn't cry. I was so exhausted, angry, and upset that all I could was go find someone and file my lost baggage report. Later on, I reported it to Air India, and also filed a fat complaint with Swiss. As of today, it’s been three days and I still haven’t gotten my bags back. I tried calling but my phone won’t dial International numbers for some reason. Shit has really hit the fan, as they say. All I can hope for is that they aren't lost forever. I’m just really hoping that at least one thing in this mess of a move to Sydney can go right. 

AFTERWORD

If this experience has taught me anything, it’s that luck is relative. Sure, these events were unlucky in the moment in which they occurred. However, what was unlucky once can turn out to be lucky in the future, and vice versa. For instance: had my bag not been overweight, I would never have removed valuable items like my laptop charger and my speaker, which would have cost me a lot of stress and a lot of money to replace. I didn't know it at the time, but now I know that in that moment, I would be lucky. That’s exactly what keeps me going. Right now, I feel unlucky. I feel like shit. But maybe this will create new experiences, in which the net outcome will end up with me considering myself lucky that I missed my flight, got re-booked on Air India, and lost my bags. Speculatively, say something had happened to the flight LX176 from Zurich to Singapore which caused it to crash. That’s quite extreme, but in that case my cancellation at Heathrow would have been a blessing. Sure, I can be angry when something bad or unlucky happens to me, but I have to remember that I never know what is going to happen. They say the most important thing in life is death, but I would argue its death coupled with the uncertainty of our future. If we lose either one, we’re fucked.  

I know I sound like a pretentious teenager who thinks he’s Aristotle. I obviously didn't come up with these concepts myself, in fact this whole thing on luck being relative is well defined, and I thought about it after seeing a video posted by a friend, very timely, on my facebook feed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGVhOWqsBWM. 

Finally, this all makes me wonder: what is luck? Surely it’s just a collection of random chance coincidences and events which we give meaning to once we link them together in hindsight. That sounds pretty simple, but it carries a greater implication: that we will never know the real magnitude of any event, ‘lucky’ or ‘unlucky’, that we experience. Our luck only runs out when we die. In that case, could be something more? Fate? Destiny? I guess if you believe in that, it is. 

[shanastoryteller]

shana’s thoughts on the dragon prince

now, i did like it overall, but there are a bunch of negative opinions i have about the show, so if you don’t want to read someone saying mean things about your new favorite show, that’s totally fair! but then this post isn’t for you

i’m putting this under a cut, and if the cut doesn’t work bc you’re on mobile ... scroll really fast? i can’t help you.

1. first and foremost, what the FUCK was that frame rate?? i’m sorry, i’ve seen smoother motion in early 2000s video games. that was literally painful to watch at times. i get they’re trying to save money, but please ... the two different animation styles are distracting enough, especially what the people are animated to be so flat. the animation, while beautiful in parts, is definitely not the strongest part of the show, but could be infinitely improved by a higher fps

2. so many “jokes” that just aren’t funny. they’re trying for everyone to be wry and it actually very rarely works. or even when the line is funny, it disrupts the flow of the story. “say hello to my little friend” as the trigger word for bait completely took me out of the story, but they didn’t even keep it as a trigger phrase, so it was pointless. rayla pausing to say goodbye to the ground before climbing the tree could have been very funny - but she paused!! people are in danger, this is time sensitive, why are you stopping to say something funny to no one? this thing in particular happened multiple times, where the line was funny, the delivery was funny, but the way everything stops so they can say the funny thing ruins it. i’m certain people can walk and talk at the same time, so let them.

3. holy shit there’s so much exposition. like straight up, that whole intro scene? worthless. everything gets covered again later on. it defs shouldn’t have been more than 30 seconds. there’s a lot of explainy moments where characters talk about things they should already know. there are also lots of clever moments where information is conveyed deftly and well, so more of that, less hitting the audience over the head with it. i found the first 2 episodes to be pretty boring because of this, and it wasn’t until 3 episodes in i was like, oh good, something interesting is happening. because of the long explanation in the beginning, the opening scene of reyla sparing the guard had less weight for me, because i was still trying to figure out what the fuck was going on, instead of accepting a fairly straightforward scene between rayla and the guard that would have been a fantastic starting point for the show

4. on a similar note, please some exposition about how magic works. what are its rules, its limits, how does it work?? we know about the six sources of magic, but that’s pretty much it. there’s laughably little information about how the rules of magic work in this world, and because nothing is ever explained, we have no idea how impressive something is, or what the stakes are, and its very frustrating

5. there was an awful lot of hype for how moon shadow elves were unstoppable only for them to be ... kind of invisible and really strong and fast? but like clearly very stoppable. 

6. lots of “plot twists” were incredibly obvious, but this is a kids show, so i’ll let that one slide. but it does mean that as an adult viewer i’m less surprised by a big reveal than i am just waiting for it to happen so something else can happen

7. ezran’s animal speaking came out of almost nowhere, and it definitely should have come up like, 4 episodes in, not in the last episode when convenient. wtf. also, like, if this is a thing the king can do too, which would make sense with his bird and all, why is it a secret? why didn’t ezran just find a better way to prove it to callum before this whole thing started, instead of oh i tried with the raccoons now i’m done? his brother clearly listens to him at least sometimes. 

8. rayla’s hand. oh my fucking god, her hand. she should have lost it you cowards. the line about her not understanding sacrifice in the beginning, having to take responsibility for bad decisions like the king said, the whole subplot with the giant wolf only having three legs and how he was just fine that way, literally like ten minutes before. and absolutely no mention about dragons being able to bite away the binding, or about royalty being able to break the binding. just oh good the dragon has bitten the binding off in the last two minutes of the show, all that set up and overarching themes we set up? pointless and worthless. 

now for thing i like

1. the characters are genuinely likable and multi dimensional (excluding viren who’s pretty cookie cutter). they all have flaws and doubts and are all badasses in their own way. it’s 100% how i like to see characters written, and so rarely do, and it’s absolute pleasure that this show is full of them. it makes all the things i dislike about it so much easier to swallow

2. callum and his conflicted relationship about being in the palace and being the step prince are so incredibly obvious and real and wonderful, and i can already tell i’m going to write a fic, because it was done so well and i adore it. his conversation with the king was a masterpiece. definitely a high point of the show

3. callum’s relationship with ezran is so pure and loving and good. he loves his little brother so much, with no bitterness or resentment or anything at all. he just loves him. and he gets irritated by him, because they’re brothers, but it’s clearly a very good relationship.

4. claudia and soren get the runner up for best sibling relationship. they also clearly care about each other and get on each others nerves and make fun of each other. 

5. soren is surprise fave. he’s a big dumb idiot who’s kind of a jerk but i love him. like one second he’s making fun of callum for being a step prince, and the next he’s pretending to get beaten by him so callum can impress his sister. it would have been so easy for him to make fun of callum instead, or to humiliate him for his crush on claudia, but instead he’s like “yeah i’ll help you look cool in front of my sister, even though you ruined my fun and didn’t let her walk into a tree” he’s dumb and a jerk and a good person. he’s great. 

6. reyla’s internal struggle and her relationship with runaan is fantastic, and i wish we’d gotten to see more of it. she’s trying so hard all the time to do the right thing and make everyone proud and i love it. 

7. amaya is fucking iconic. “breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” i love her. shes’s amazing and wonderful in every way. also the way she refuses to take the throne is badass.

8. the show is clearly trying so hard to be diverse and inclusive, and it really is like a breath of fresh air to see. there’s so much obvious care going on here, and the clear love in which all of it was done is another thing that blunts the edges of the many things i dislike about the show. 

9. the landscape and background animation is very well done, and often beautiful. 

look, i watched the whole first season in one sitting when i wasn’t planning to, so obviously it’s a net positive. i liked, i’ll watch a second season, but there are things which i really dislike about the show, and to be completely honest, if the characters weren’t written so incredibly well, i would probably drop it. but they are, and while there are other, smaller things about the show that make it good, the well written characters alone make it worth watching

[canaryatlaw]

OKAY. today was pretty nuts but almost entirely in a good way. I had set my alarm for 10 but ended up waking up at 9:30. I still hadn’t gotten a call back from the people about the cat yet so I called them and they picked up. I did a short “phone interview” then where I was asked questions that seemed like questions but actually weren't lol because they’d be like “do you plan to keep her inside or let her go inside and outside?” and I was like “oh probably just inside, I live in an apartment building” and they were like “good, outside is too busy in the city” and then basically the same thing about declawing, I knew it was bad and said as much and they very emphatically agreed. So we decided we’d go there at 11 and check out what the situation is. at this point when I get off the phone it’s like 9:40, I’ve been texting Jess all through this so when I got off I was like okay let’s get breakfast and then we can walk over to where they are because they’re legit in walking distance of our apartments, lol, so we got breakfast at our usual place (I decided I was going to abandon my approach of trying everything and just got the banana bread french toast again, which was very good. at like 10:47 we started walking, not terribly far to a house a few blocks west that had a cat flag out front, lol, so we knew it was the right one. so we rang the doorbell but didn’t hear it and we were like oh did it go? But a minute later a woman came and opened the door and welcomed us in. It smelled very strongly of cat, which is probably to be expected because apparently they had a shitton of cats both inside and outside. They seemed to have all their stuff together like regulation and code wise though so I wasn't worried about it being a bad environment. the kitty we had asked about was right there in the front room and immediately warmed up to us and was letting us pet her, and even sat in my lap at one point. according to the people there she was very friendly and had no major issues, she’d already been vaccinated and spayed and microchipped and all that good stuff so she was good to go. Apparently she’d been one of a litter of kittens that had come there earlier in the summer to be adopted and she had originally been placed with a family who really loved her, but at some point (I’m not sure how much time passed that she was actually with them) the man’s mother became ill and had to move in with them, and she was highly allergic to cats, so they had to “tearfully” return the kitty, so she was the last one left now with mostly older cats. she seemed good to me so we planned to walk back to Jess’ place and take her car to petsmart where we would buy all the things we needed while they got all the adoption papers ready, then come back and pick her up. so we headed out and drove to the petsmart that wasn’t terribly far away from us, so we set out to get all the things we would need. a litter box and kitty litter, obviously, I had food and water dishes and an old brush we could use so we were good on that, apparently they’d been feeding her a combo of wet and dry food because its been shown that cats who eat only dry food are more likely to develop kidney problems apparently (and like, we just lost our yorkie to kidney problems) so we got both wet and dry food, along with a small scratching post, a soft carrier that’s basically like a duffel bag but with netted fabric so you could see the cat and she could breathe obviously, and it was good for like airports and trains and shit. we got one toy thing, and then a collar and a tag, which they had this giant machine that was supposed to do the engraving on the tags after you bought them. So we got this cute one that says “hello my name is _____” on the front and then planned to put my phone number on the back. so we buy everything, then go to the engraving machine and have it scan the barcode for the tag- but oh wait, it’s not scanning.....not scanning....try again, still not scanning. so we’re like huh. so we got an employee who continued to try to get it to scan to no avail, then tried to take it into like employee mode or whatever and ended up having to like, open the entire thing up to reset it and at this point there was us and another girl who happened to also be getting a cat today and was waiting for it to work lol so we waited and it rebooted and they were like yeah, we don’t know how long it’s going to take.....and we were prepared to leave for another petsmart because apparently they all have the machines, but just as we were walking out it restarted and was working so we ran back in and started to use it. we had to open the little door and stick the tag around a little raised section that went through where the hole on the top is, then when it recognizes the tag you type in the info you want and it engraves! so I hadn’t mentioned up to this point what we were actually planning on naming our kitty, but we basically decided we wanted a kitty named NICKZANO, spelled just like that, one word and all caps, because that’s how the human Nick Zano’s twitter handle is. I figured we could use “Nicky” as a nickname and tell that to people who aren't legends stans and wouldn’t understand why a kitty named NICKZANO is fucking hilarious. So we got it engraved so it says “hello, my name is NICKZANO” on the front and then my phone number on the back, which was really fucking hilarious honestly. we got everything in the car and drove back over to the house, signed some papers and sent them a donation through paypal, then got the kitty and stuck her in our carrier and headed out! unsurprisingly, kitty was not terribly happy about being put in a bag and taken away by strangers, and she meowed basically the whole ride back to my place, which thankfully was only a few minutes lol. So we grabbed what we could and took her upstairs, let her out and let her explore the apartment a little, then went back to the car to grab the rest of the stuff. bad plan. we got back up to my apartment and.....kitty was nowhere to be found. there were no windows open, no doors open, no way she could’ve gotten out, so she HAD to be in the apartment, but we looked and looked and looked and looked and could not find her for our lives, at which point I was like WELP she’s gotta come out sooner or later so we tried to stop stressing about it (probably not terribly successful at doing so) and watched Brandon’s fireman cat movie on the logic that maybe hearing other cats in the movie would help her come out? or something like that, lol. the movie was actually really cute, and of course Brandon looked amazing as a firefighter, which I’m sure is not a surprise to literally anybody. so when that was over I was like okay, let’s regroup and do some more searching. I had checked under my bed before and hadn’t seen anything, but I thought if I pulled my bed away from the wall (it’s in the southeast corner of my room currently if you’re standing in the door) so I pulled it away from the walls and then suddenly heard a “meow” and I was like AHAH! GOTCHA! so we were able to coax her out and got her out of my bedroom, then closed the doors to the bedrooms and bathroom so she could stay in the main area with us, which probably would’ve been the smart thing to do all along, but hey, we’re new at this. she started to become more sociable and played with us a bit, she went ahead and used the litter box without any prompting being needed by us which I was relieved about because the prospect of having to clean up anything that didn’t make it to the littler box was probably my biggest concern at that point, lol. we had had a conversation at the petsmart with an employee over the types of kitty litter, apparently at the place they had been using pellets which doesn’t like clump together but instead you basically just have to toss the whole batch of it after a while which doesn’t sound terribly practical, so we went with the clumping clay-based one instead, but were somewhat concerned to see if she would transition to it okay, and she did, so that was a relief. we kind of settled down after a bit and Jess wanted to show me “Fling”, a movie starring Brandon and Courtney, some sort of indie film they decided to do not long after getting married and well. this movie was....something. I’ve seen a lot of odd and quirky movies and indie films over the years, mainly in college because I hung out with all film majors most of the time and they love their quirky movies. but this one was....unique, to say the least. the basic premise is that Courtney’s character is in an open relationship with this guy, and she starts seeing Brandon’s character while the guy she’s in a relationship with starts seeing his best friend’s 18 year old sister, which as I’m sure you can imagine goes horribly wrong, Courtney’s character ends up pregnant and not sure whose child it actually is but basically decides to leave her original boyfriend to be with Brandon (which was a good choice because her original boyfriend was shitty) and then it ends with “five years later” boyfriend gets an invitation to the opening party of a boutique owned by Courtney, so he comes and he sees them all, and he sees there kid and like......that child looks overwhelmingly more like boyfriend than he does Brandon. like it was obvious they specifically cast him for that reason. So the boyfriend’s just kinda like WELP and leaves and that’s pretty much the endV of it. So yeah...unique. after that we discussed what we wanted to watch and decided on Superman Returns because I hadn’t seen it in like at least 10 years and didn’t have that great of a memory of it, I remember watching it at our family friend’s home theatre (and they have a VERY serious home theatre) during a party at some point (they have a big italian family so the parties are frequent) and basically just remembered Lois’ kid is actually Superman’s son because he shows he has powers at some point. I’ve obviously become much more familiar with Superman lore since I’d last seen the movie given that I got entirely obsessed with Smallville, so I’m a lot more invested in the characters and such much more. A lot of characters can be done justice by different interpretations, such as Jimmy Olsen who has been played by a lot of great actors, but for me nobody will ever be as good as Michael Rosenbaum as Lex and Erica Durance as Lois. Rosenbaum’s Lex was just perfect in every way. we got to see his entire transition from actually being a good hearted person to very intentionally choosing a path of villainy, often spurred on by Clark continually lying to him about his identity. As for Lois, god Durance just had the perfect rapport and attitude for Lois, she embodied her so well, and her dialogue and relationship with Clark was spot on. When Supergirl was casting Superman some people wanted it to be Tom Welling, but it would obviously have to be a different Superman than Tom Welling’s one on Smallville because it’s an entirely different world and like, I wouldn’t want that, I would want him to be the character he actually established. Erica Durance as Lois and Michael Rosenbaum as Lex are characters I’d 100% be okay with them portraying in different universes, because they just embody them so well, and nobody can ever match them IMO. But I say all this to say that while the actors in Superman Returns did a fine job, many of them just didn’t stack up to my opinion of the characters and how they should be portrayed. It sucks that Brandon didn’t get a better quality Superman story to work with, because his portrayal of Clark Kent is spot on, and with a better script and better external factors he could’ve been absolutely stunning. Apparently now that Henry Cavill is supposedly not coming back as Superman, some people want Brandon to play him again, and apparently Brandon likes this idea quite a bit lol. I doubt that would happen though. But anyway, this movie. I completely forgot Kevin Spacey was Lex, and he was pretty meh for me. Lois was alright I guess, she didn’t quite have the journalistic prowess that is so emblematic and iconic of Lois as a character. the story is really like 75% exposition up until the actual climax, where Lois for some reason takes her like 5 year old child on a secret mission to infiltrate Lex’s boat and ends up getting them stranded and basically volunteered to be hostages. the best scene really though is when the little boy is playing the piano and got the henchman to join him for a second while Lois tries to send a fax with their coordinates, then the henchman sees and he attacks her, and the little box starts breathing heavily (it was already established he has asthma) and looks like he’s going into an asthma attack, then all of a sudden the entire damn piano goes flying across the room, crushing the henchman who was attacking Lois. And like, there’s just this moment afterwards when everyone (audience included) is just like oh shit, did that really just happen?? And it’s really such an epic scene to realize that he’s actually Superman’s son. The rescue at the end and all of that is also very cool of course. but yeah, I enjoyed it, even if I am somewhat critical. After that finished Jess had to leave, so it was just me and NICKZANO for a bit. I started watching more episodes of the baking show I started on netflix a few days ago and NICKZANO did random funny things which I took pictures of. She curled up in my lap at one point which was really damn cute. Some time after 10 my roommate got home, and she was of course enthralled with the cat as well, and was able to move one of the lower pantry shelves so her litter box could fit in there perfectly which is much better than it just sticking out. She said she keeps seeing all these DIY pinterest posts about making stuff for cats like scratching post-bed-climbing things so she might try to make some of that. Then she got in the shower and I started writing this, paused midway to take a shower myself, then came back and finished it and here we are. I know that was a lot of details already so I won’t keep you any longer, plus it’s 1 am and I’d like to be asleep now. Goodnight my dears. Have a lovely Thursday. 

[raximoweek]

An insight into Cristina’s life by C. Bonadincel

You wake up to 45 text messages from your son Máximo waiting to be answered on your phone.  Check your facebook/twitter/Instagram and you have 450 likes on the selfie you took of yourself with a caption making fun of our current President.  You want more attention though, so you take a shower, put on a shirt that whoops! accidentally lets the side of your bra show, put on 4 whole pencil’s worth of eyeliner to go from a 9.5/10 to a 10/10, and snap a quick selfie of yourself that you quickly upload to your social media accounts with some sarcastic emojis.  Maybe this one will get you 4500 likes.

Your driver takes you to the Senate in a car that cost 365,283 whole Argentinian pesos.  Before you get out you make a quick video complaining about all the injustices done to you by Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio : (  Got to keep the public talking about you! you laugh to yourself.  As you walk into the Congress building, you pass several Federal Justices on the street. They all stare at you as you pass. Most of them are actually concerned with bringing justice to the nation of Argentina and punishing its most heinous white-collar criminals.  Gross! You ignore them.  These losers spend their whole adult life jerking off to persecuting their political opponents, and they still only earn one million pesos per year—legally.

You stop to get your usual morning diet fruit salad on the way.  Have to maintain all 140 pounds of you!  The good-looking boy serves you and tries chatting you up again, but he’s too good looking, nothing like your crude, hulking son Máximo or the rotting corpse of your dead husband who it’s time to get over.  You know he’s going to ask you out one day, but you’ll end up rejecting him because you only fuck people with the last name of Kirchner.  You don’t mind the attention though.

Several men stare at your cleavage and the bruises on your leg that conveniently show through your tights as you resume your walk.  It’s so hard to be such a radiant goddess.  You enter your 106,000 pesos per year Senate job which you had to get by manipulating the voters due to being a mentally ill degenerate with no competence or leadership skills who’s thirsty for power.  You notice many of your male political opponents are there. The Senate is sexist.  Typical.  You greet all of your coworkers: Máximo’s handsome young friend from La Cámpora, Axel Kicillof your young, brilliant Chad former minister of economy, Máximo’s other handsome young friend from La Cámpora, Hot Blonde Female Senator who you’re probably fucking, and nemesis from the opposing party Vice President Gabriela Michetti (in a wheelchair, so she can’t even sit on the special throne!)  Of course the “less corrupt” political party is currently in office.  They get all the good jobs now!  But that would change.  We’re fighting to get me—I mean, us--back into power! You remember how Kim Il-Sung of North Korea is still considered the leader of the nation even after his death. Good on him, you think to yourself.

You ask the Vice President to shut up and let you speak and she immediately does so.  You cut a grape from your fruit salad in half because grapes have such a high caloric content and demand that a bottle of low-sodium mineral water be brought to your desk.  Máximo’s young Chad friends have to come over to flirt with you, so you make the entire Senate wait for you to begin your egocentric ramblings.  Then you take the floor and talk for 45 minutes about how you’re being persecuted for your beliefs and then answer another 45 texts from Máximo.  Then leader of the majority Miguel Pichetto asks to speak.  He can be so conceited sometimes thinking anyone cares what he has to say! But at least this gives you time to go to the bathroom.  You stand up and make sure to announce how unfair it is that the bathroom is so far away while you pretend to be leaving the room quietly and respectfully.  Before you know it, it’s lunchtime and you hide in your office and stuff your face with your favorite fried pig intestines so no one sees you eating anything other than fruit salad and grilled chicken.

Around 2pm another senator from your party comes and jokingly asks if you’re doing any work.  You laugh and tell him you don’t need to work to make money and smile sexily at him (because you’re talking about all your laundered money).  You spend the rest of your time in the Senate ranting on Facebook about how Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio has accused you of colluding with Iran.  What an ugly, fat son of a bitch he is!  Your post from this morning now has 450,000 likes.  You have several text messages from Máximo letting you know he wants to get dinner tonight.  So far, he’s asked for dinner 3 times and for pre-dinner drinks 4 times. You check Página|12, the one news site in the country that understands how oppressed you and other Kirchnerite policians are (but especially you).  You see an article about how Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio should be removed from the Iran case because he holds a grudge against you and is very corrupt besides. You share the article and say how hard it is for you that this competent, experienced judge is persecuting you and your family.  You get 45 likes and 45 comments agreeing with you and saying that this innocent and ruggedly handsome enforcer of the law of the land should go to hell.

After work you head back to your apartment and do 30 minutes of running on the treadmill with smoke pouring out of your ears while watching the news anchors on TV talk about your criminal behavior.  You notice your personal trainer Luciana staring at you from the weights section. She’s pretty hot, but topping you is a privilege that she has to repeatedly earn, so you put your headphones in to listen to the Gladiator soundtrack.  You wouldn’t dare take a selfie when you’re done with the treadmill, because you don’t want the public seeing what you look like with most of your eye makeup sweated off. You head off to the water cooler to drink another glass of low-sodium mineral water.  Luciana tries to make conversation with you.  She’s hot and attractively younger than you, but her last name isn’t Kirchner, so you politely make it clear that you’re not interested (today).

You already have several more likes on your reposted article about angel of justice Bonadio and more comments about how heartless he is to persecute the best president the country has ever had.  Máximo has now asked you to go out for dinner with him 6 times.  You text him 4 times and organize the night and make sure to use lots of heart emojis.  You get home and say hi to your poodle Lolita and ignore your daughter Florencia.  She’s 27 and still a vegan.  She’s always cared about the environment, stood up for the rights of dairy cows and shit like that.  Now her baby daddy dumped her because of how obsessed with soy milk and social justice she is.  Maybe if she showed some ambition like you did.  You got into politics relatively early on because the electorate noticed how charming, sexy, and honest you are.  She was always Dad’s favorite though, and never appreciated you enough before he died.  She could be such a selfish bitch sometimes.

You call your 89 year-old mom and tell her that you want to buy a new Birkin bag but don’t want to use any of the funds you’ve thoughtfully embezzled from public works projects.  She gives you 6,088,350 pesos that she earned from scamming the Post Office.  You say thank you, even though you know you don’t really need it because you recently had a net worth of 80 million USD.  You deserve it for simply being Cristina Kirchner.

You decide it’s time to meet up with Máximo.  You need protection out on the street though in case the people who have seen through your grating charisma and realize what a sexy piece of shit you really are decide to throw eggs at you again.  You text some of Máximo’s buff, Chad friends from La Cámpora to come walk with you. You take fifty selfies and a dozen videos for your YouTube channel while you’re walking down the street.  Some men who also happen to work as federal judges and prosecutors call out to you about how immoral you are, and you and your Chad posse laugh hilariously.  All these guys aren’t getting laid, right?  Like, why do they even bother?

As soon as you get to the restaurant Máximo comes to greet you and plies you with expensive wine.  You don’t really plan on staying though because you want to have a private night with your good for nothing Chad son who’s never had a job interview in his life.  You make sure to keep his handsome male friends from La Cámpora there so they can protect Máximo’s blubbery body and lack of a law degree too.

After 4 men come to talk to you and tell you they definitely don’t believe that you allegedly ordered the murder of a prosecutor who was about to accuse you of collusion with Iran, which gets them kisses on the cheek from you, you abandon the restaurant and head off down the street with Máximo.  People greet him with respect even though he has no degrees from institutions of higher learning and owns 45 SUVs purchased with stolen money.  Your Chad bodyguards get in between you and Máximo and the innocent Argentinian citizens who you proclaim to love so much who are demanding you answer for your disgraceful crimes and complete lack of disrespect for our justice system, especially learnèd and powerful Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio. Máximo takes a video of you two walking down the street while ignoring the demands of your countrymen.  You can’t stop laughing at how empowered it makes you feel to ignore this persecution.  This is great!

At home you and Máximo sit close together on your expensive imported couch and talk because literally no one matters to you other than the degenerates in your family.  Máximo tells you how he’s broken up with his latest girlfriend, just another one in a series of girls who look like a broke-ass version of you.  You tell him how you approve of this because she was a distraction—Kirchners need to stick together.  That’s why you refuse to testify in your court appearance and won’t meet Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio’s eyes when he greets you.  Some guys can be so pathetic.  Your lawyer Gregorio is texting you.  He is a pretty hot Chad and you’ve considered ****ing him to see if that will get you free legal representation and perhaps inspire him to bribe the jury (with his own money, not yours).  Your degenerate son Máximo gets jealous so you stop replying.  The only thing you love more than defrauding and deceiving an entire country while dressing like an oversexed mom is your son who always seems to get girlfriends even though he has accomplished nothing in life (certainly nothing like going to law school and becoming a Federal Justice, anyway).  You make plans to have Máximo spend the night. You ask him which of your apartment’s 5 bedrooms he’d like to sleep in and he says he wants to sleep in yours. Gregorio is still texting you but you have long since stopped replying.  Even your Chad lawyer is kind of acting like a loser right now.  You tell Máximo that of course he can sleep in your bed with you because he’s such a big strong boy who spends Mommy’s laundered money so well. He is a literally perfect Kirchner. You remember Florencia telling you that it’s weird that Máximo still likes to sleep in your bed at age 40, yet she’s the one sleeping alone tonight.  You laugh to yourself. She must be doing something wrong.  She’s obviously not worthy of the kind of love you and Máximo share.

After a night as deviant as you are, you wake up to Luciana asking if you’ll have hot girl-on-girl sex with her today, your mom sending you her fraudulent money for your new Birkin bag, and 450 comments on a leaked photo someone took of you on the treadmill saying you look good even with your 45 pounds of mascara smeared all over your face.  It’s only 9am.  Máximo brings you cake in bed and you post another article trashing the blameless silver fox Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio on all your social media profiles.  Today is going to be a good day!

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 37 - LA Kings

3-2 Win

There is a two-fold pretext going into this game. The first one was plain and clear Thursday night in Philadelphia: this team is nothing without Jack Eichel. This team with Eichel is a fringe playoff team as we’ve seen this month. This team without Eichel is a team that would struggle to stay out of a relegation zone. It sounds harsh but yet another massacre in Philadelphia, it seems like every other time we go down there is one waiting for us, proves we need at least some kind of upgrade to make this team more than just the Buffalo Jack Eichels. The other piece of pretext to this game was the meaningfulness of the points in the standings. It’s funny to think of any game in December as providing critical points. Big games exist when they have significance with a broad set of fanbases or in the standings. The relative bigness of this particular game against the LA Kings isn’t really about the Kings. They suck ass again. In a league where many tell you not to even look at the standings until after the New Year the Sabres have been in a playoff spot for… weeks? Entering this game the Sabres had dropped three straight after a decent stretch since Thanksgiving where they most recently won three straight against better competition. Over the weekend they claimed an overtime point against the Islanders but got no points on Tuesday against division rival Toronto before getting clobbered in Philadelphia on Thursday. It was so bad I didn’t even waste breath on postgame. The Maple Leafs are one of four teams who are neck and neck with Buffalo. The Sabres were second in an exceptionally weak Atlantic Division at 39 points Thursday. Montreal, Tampa Bay, Toronto and Florida were all at 38 or 37 points. And so you see now how two points against the Flyers would have meant a lot even though the halfway point of the season is still five games away. Those points never came and now all of the aforementioned teams excluding Tampa have passed Buffalo and we’re out of a playoff spot we somehow held onto for a few weeks. No NHL game is easy but now would be a really good time to get a safe win against the Kings.

For the first half of this game there was a lot to be frustrated about. Luckily most of Buffalo was transfixed on the 4:30 Bills game so there was likely only a half-full arena and a handful of us online angry guys to feel that way about it. For the first period and a half this was a shot-for-shot duel with the LA Kings. 5 years ago we might have celebrated that, but these aren’t 2014’s LA Kings. The latent, trash Kings got the lion share of the nice shots on goal in the first period where they outshot Buffalo 10-6. Linus Ullmark stood tall making some pretty grandiose saves, most of which you probably wanted the defense to prevent. After the massacre in Philadelphia its hard to imagine Carter Hutton getting a start not on a back-to-back. Ullmark is THE GUY now and he’s acting like it. One stop I swore was superhuman where the puck was turned over in the Sabres zone in the midst of quite some traffic. I don’t know how he recognized the turnover mistake of his own team for one and secondly I don’t know how he estimated the trajectory of the backhander so quickly as to snap it up like that. Anyway the first period ended with donuts on the board. The second period began with what they had coming. The Kings continued their shot domination for the first half of the middle frame and Adrian Kempe took advantage of Marco Scandella taking a slapshot from the slot and beat Ullmark. For how much better the basement-dwelling Kings played in the first half of this game it could’ve been 3-0 had it not been for Linus Ullmark’s great game. I really do think the team plays better in front of him and this game compared to last game is going to be exhibit A.

The game continued as a Kings shooting gallery until the Sabres really began intercepting pucks and pushing back toward the midpoint of the game. Jack Eichel got a really great chance right in front of Jonathan Quick that just would not go. This game was still one of those where a stray skate could’ve been the difference of the Kings extending their lead. That Vesey line was taking their turn in front of the LA net when a rebound squirted out to Rasmus Ristolainen who buried it before Quick even knew where it was, 1-1. I’ve been informed Quick has not been good at all this season. I hate to see a good American goaltender down like that but it kinda makes sense when you think of how much the Kings dynasty was built on a defense they no longer have. I mean Drew Doughty is still there but if one all-world defenseman made a defense then Rasmus Dahlin should’ve backstopped us to a Cup run last season. For all the bitching and moaning about this game showing we’re not any better than some of the worst teams in the league Jack Eichel didn’t score a goal. None of the players who made October so fun really contributed until the dying minutes of this game. Yesterday afternoon we got the “Black Stallion” Marco Scandella to score a goal. That nickname was the imagination of Dan Dunleavy calling the game and I think I join a choir of folks absolutely detesting it. Call him what you will I guess as long as we can call him gone in July. Scandella received a pretty innocuous pass at the point from Sam Reinhart and put one on net. It went in and the home team had their first lead of the game with a little over three minutes left in the second period. The Kings tried to respond before the middle frame concluded. That sweet Linus Ullmark save I described earlier was a save on Anze Kopitar with mere moments left on the clock. Through forty minutes it was 2-1 Buffalo though.

The Sabres got some decisive powerplays in the third period; none of them increased their lead because this is the Buffalo Sabres we’re talking about, but they got them! They really did get some dingers off the posts and what have you too. It got a little frustrating. Almost as frustrating as this situation with Eichel is. You may wonder: what issue could you have with Eichel after you basically said this team relies entirely on him in the opening? Well you may have heard he missed the bloodbath of a game in Philadelphia. The thing is he took warmups before being announced as out for the game. Speculation circulated about the flu or an accident nobody saw occur on the ice during those warmups. The most detail we got was a lower body injury which was later retracted. Eichel came back like his normal self in this game so I got to believe it was just the shits arriving right after warmups ended. No matter what it was the NHL counted it as the end of his point streak… or did they? The chances tended toward Buffalo as the third period went on and the Captain almost got a couple saucy ones himself. Eventually the Kings pulled Quick for the extra attacker and Eichel got the puck to Reinhart who got it to Victor Olofsson who chipped in an empty-netter. The game broadcast and several social media posts thereafter referred to Eichel continuing his “personal point streak” which is not only something I’ve never heard before its also something that is quantifiably stupid. Then again other posts left the word personal out and said he’s now on an 18-game point streak. I don’t know if we really need to litigate this but that streak was all some of us Sabres fans had back when the going was tough in November so there is certainly a desire to see it continue.

Ithaca, NY’s own Dustin Brown tipped in a quick goal to pull the Kings within one in the last minute of play but ultimately the goal only served to make a few people down in Tompkins county that much happier and this game ended 3-2 Sabres. For a brief few hours while Buffalo was busy cheering the Bills to almost beating the Patriots in Foxboro, the Sabres were back in a playoff spot at second in the division. That Flyers game might prove to cost the Sabres more than just their Thursday night because the Leafs won last night as well and took over that divisional spot. Buffalo is only one point back and could leapfrog both Florida and Toronto Monday night, but both those clubs also play tomorrow night, and everyone wants to go into the Christmas break on a high note. I’d put my money on the Sabres not sitting in a playoff spot come Christmas morning, but I want to hear what you think so like, share and comment on this blog to let me know what you think.

The aforementioned Christmas break also coincides with a roster freeze that is already in effect meaning no moves for Jason Botterill… as if one were imminent. I think the need for a trade for a forward is a near unanimous opinion of the fanbase right now. However I will be a dissenting voice on the guy at the center of the Sabres last big top-six trade Jeff Skinner. The talk of him being upset not playing with Eichel on the top line is the kinda Coach-blaming knee jerk reaction that is so normal for us. It shouldn’t be. We’re trained to chase coaches out of town at this point and I really don’t think we have to right now. Yes, yesterday was another weird defenseman-playing-forward rotation and I too don’t like scratching Colin Miller out of any games but Ralph Krueger’s benefits to this club far outweigh his detriments right now. A lot of it is stuff we only see in streaks here and there, the not-so-sexy stuff like team cohesion and overall competitiveness when playing without the puck. Those are little things that make visible a behind-the-scenes reality of a Coach really revolutionizing this team. By all means take issue with the trash first half of this game and the poor play we still see too often from the Sabres, but don’t look for ways to blame it on the Coach. Midseason thoughts will go up in a couple weeks which will allow plenty of time and space for deeper conversations about the state of this team. For now let’s go wrap up the pre-Christmas schedule in Ottawa tomorrow. Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. December so far is shaping up to be the streaky month. Three wins followed by three losses. The good news is if that trend continues they’ll beat Ottawa tomorrow and split the home and home series with the Bruins after Christmas.

[fossadeileonixv]

Milan x Sassuolo: 4 Flick-Ons

These takes are so hot they will kill any and all bacteria on your keyboard or mobile device.

Hello friends, enemies, and casual visitors of the site. I ended up getting a little too caught up the other night pretending to watch the bone-crunching action between the Chicago Bears and Green Packers of the good ol' NF of L and got home a bit too late to do ratings. My gaffe! What can I say? It's so easy getting caught up in the 7 or so minutes of actual gameplay spread out over three-plus hours of America's favorite sport. But since I have the morning off I figured we'd jump straight into '4 Flick-Ons' which I haven't done in a grip.

Ready? 

Essketit, or whatever the hell Lil Pump says.

Flick 1: Results Like This Aren't on Pioli. So in the heat of the game I, like many of you, comment on impulse, nitpicking and magnifying the minutiae of the match at hand. Most of our comments, even despite being unfiltered, are generally fair and sometimes even accurate observations of what we're seeing in real time. However, sometimes they're not. I may or may not have grumbled about Pioli during the match thread but with the match two days behind me, I'm having trouble placing blame ‘pon his shiny head. He stuck with the lineup that yielded two straight wins, his first two subs were very good switches (the Samu sub, in all honesty, was a kind of 'Well this is what I have' move), and we had spells of truly brilliant build-up play that we haven't seen in years from a Milan side. We took 19 shots, 7 on target (9 if you want to count Leao's rockets off the woodwork), a number of those on target from inside the 18, as well as 8 corners. I just can't in good conscience gripe about a coach who has his squad creating those kind of numbers. It's easy to play fantasy manager with the lineups, but we have a fraction of the experience or insight as a professional coach in the world's third best league and aside from Kessie, and maybe Cal and Bona swapping roles, there isn't an obvious upgrade to anyone on that XI. Which kinda leads me to point two…

Flick 2: The Calhanoglu hate is a bit unwarranted. This is the ‘hot take’ flick. Let me make this clear: this only pertains to this stretch with Pioli, and also doesn't extend beyond the pitch. He's still a slacker that smoke KB's with his boys, has posters or 'Babes in Bikinis' all over his room, smashes za, and talking shit to kids on his Call of Duty headset. And yes, despite all this you are all invited to our 'Big Fat Turkish Military Wedding' because we're in love and his ears are so cute. But for real, for real, as someone who along with Russu, burned effigies of this guy outside this past Summer's ICC tournament, I am having difficulty seeing where folk's beef with him is. Yes, he's slow. Yes, he often his one or two slips, shots that take out a cell-phone tower, or corners cleared before reaching the near post per game and these are all frustrating. But beside that, he's done really, really well in two areas in particular. One is build-up. Watch any sequence of build-up from this attack and Hakan usually has multiple touches, often from various areas on the pitch. The second is his positioning. He has a knack for being where he needs to be without sacrificing potential counterattacking space, and though this isn't a sexy element of someone's skills, just look over at the other wing to see the effect of that not being done. A lot of us clamor for Leao in his role, but a Theo/Jack/Leao flank would leave both sidelines of the pitch vulnerable. You absolutely need the balance Cal provides defensively. 

I don't like Cal. I would really have loved a replacement this past summer. But right now, I do understand and appreciate why he is holding down a starting spot. Someone else, however...

Flick 3: Kessie needs some time off. I have been Franck The Tanck's biggest fan here the past two years, so trust me Danny, this hurts, but man is awful. I can't recall a single Kessie performance this year where I even thought "Well that's passable". While the two things that made him so valuable over the years in his strength and positioning are fine, what good is it if you can't trap a pass or are constantly giving away possession? We always joke about counters going to die with Suso/Pia, or Cal, but so far Kessie has Ben where possession goes to die. The technical aspects of his play have been astonishingly atrocious and his inability to link-up with anyone in that right channel has him as a net negative right now. Krunic has his flaws, but I fully expect this week at Atalanta to be Kessie's last chance for a while to earn his spot. It kills me to say, but I really don't see how this kid stays on much longer here with these types of performances.

Flick 4: We need a seasoned veteran. This isn't a newsflash, nor is it directly contrived from this game, but during the dying embers of the match I remember thinking "Amari has another basketball game next weekend that you said you would go to, but it is all the way down in Braintree. Why did you commit to that?" Then I thought "It'd sure be nice to have someone on the pitch that positively gets in his teammates faces". The closest we have to that, really, is Don and he's still fourteen years old. It's both easy to overestimate (see Biglia) as well as underestimate (see a player such as Alex) what someone with significant mileage to add to a squad like this, but as a young team that has shown an improvement in form under a new coach that is still having trouble achieving results, someone who knows how to thread that final ball or find the back of the net, a field general so to speak --even one past his prime-- could be that missing cog that Pioli needs at his disposal. I think even more than the on-field appeal that someone Ibra would bring, is that no-nonsense veteran presence that could motivate asses both on the pitch and in the locker-room. This has been missing for years and while as I said above, it is one of those areas that is easy to miscalcuclate, with this team as close as we are to being… well, good… it might be that extra brick we need to tip the scale.

That's that! I'll try to have something up tomorrow. If not, remember, bright and early for our stateside, Central and South American, and (groans) Canadian Leoni (06:30 EST), on Sunday against Atalanta.

[saezutte]

Dear Yuletide Writer

Dear Yuletide Writer,

Happy end-of-the-year season! Thank you for writing for me!

This is my first time signing up for Yuletide, though I’ve been reading Yuletide fic for 14-15 years and it’s one of my favorite yearly traditions. Now I’m turning over a new leaf of active participation in my old age! I guarantee you I am much more worried about what I’m writing than what you’re writing—I’m pretty easy-going about the fic I read and I am going to try to help you out as best I can with this letter. If there’s something you’re unclear about, feel free to contact the mods or stalk me to find my preferences.

My AO3: saezutte

My public twitter: juncassis

My tumblr: here but I do not use tumblr much anymore, sorry.

Do Not Wants

[note: I have no actual triggers, nothing you can write for me will make me any more depressed or anxious than I already am]

Death (of major/important/beloved characters)

Suicide attempts

Rape

Angst without a happy ending, really too much angst at all

University/college settings

Established relationship

Cheating

Actual Unrequited Feelings

Pregnancy (the actual process; breeding kink is fine)

Scat or watersports

Hard BDSM or any kink complicated enough that the characters would have to discuss it ahead of time

Non-canon cisswapping or gender change (it’s ok if they do it in canon, e.g. HX/SQX)

Homophobia as a plot device

Excessive attention to sexual identity or queer politics

Note on AUs: I am ok with the usual popular AU tropes (except, see above, university settings) but I do not want them combined, e.g. A/B/O is fine and coffeeshop is fine, but I don’t want an omega barista getting his scent all over the lattes he makes for some alpha lawyer who comes in every morning. (Ridiculous example, but you get the point.) For AU/modern settings of fandoms with magic, I often like it when the magic is still there in the AU setting. I also like AUs which maintain the general outlines of the character’s relationships, like if the characters are childhood friends in canon, I like to keep that intact.

General preferences:

I am a pretty basic bitch when it comes to fanfic: I like it when two clueless boys pine for each other through some shenanigans and then lock eyes/lips/dicks.

If you fed a neural net every fanfic written in Stargate Atlantis fandom between 2005 and 2010, the result would probably be some nonsense I’d enjoy.

I love many tropes. Tropes! Bed-sharing. Sharing an umbrella. WASHING EACH OTHER’S HAIR? Confessions where they are having an argument and then one of them yells “Because I love you!” 

I love situations where characters are forced to spend time in close proximity and find themselves with feelings.

I love fakeness: fake dating, fake marriage, arranged marriage, marriage of convenience, fake lust induced by sex pollen or heats, aliens make them have sex, whatever. 

I’d prefer story/romance/build-up to PWP but you are welcome to write porn

Tian Guan Ci Fu

Requested characters: He Xuan, Shi Qingxuan

Note: If you don’t want to write those two, I would be happy with Hualian! There are other pairings I like as well, like Fengqing. I requested these two because they are the ones I want the most, but I like almost all of the characters in TGCF so if you want to write me something that sells me on your pet pairing, go for it. Caveat is that I don’t like Qi Rong (sorry cousin)—he makes me anxious, haha.

Why I like the canon: Tian Guan Ci Fu is my favorite of MXTX’s novels, which took over my life this summer. What I love about it is the gods/mythology angle. The different story arcs remind me of reading myths about gods going out on adventures—I love folklore and myths! I love Xie Lian, I respect him so much, and I love Hua Cheng. I love how dark the story gets and I love that I could read it while being relatively assured of a happy ending. But with MXTX, you only ever get that happy ending for the main pair, hence why I requested my side pair.

Why I like these characters: I was in love with these two when He Xuan was pretending to be a grouchy Earth Master who reluctantly goes along with whatever Shi Qingxuan wants. When it turned out to be ABOUT REVENGE and they have FATES WHICH ARE ENTANGLED TOGETHER, I promptly lost my mind. I like the contrast in personalities.

I love Shi Qingxuan as a happy gossip god who is friends with everyone and yet also still pretty good at his job (unlike a lot of the gods around). I like his struggle with realizing he wasn’t meant to be a god and I honestly like where he ends up at the end of the novel—but personally I’d like it better if he re-qualified as a god, haha. I love his sex switching and you are welcome to play with that, though I would prefer if it weren’t a straightforward switch where he (she) settles as a woman. With He Xuan… I love that he’s on this dark completely-justified vengeance quest but he is also kind of a mess? How in debt is he to Hua Cheng? Has he totally neglected his ghostly duties to play Earth Master in heaven? How did he feel starting to be friends with SQX when he’s still planning on ruining his life?

What I would like for these two is something between pure fluff / all the issues are solved / “decapitated brother who?” and angst. I think they mirror Hualian in a lot of ways and I wish they had a chance together!

Prompts:

Them meeting again post-canon: He Xuan not knowing what to do with his (after)life now that he’s got his revenge and not being totally sure what’s keeping him around now that his business is over. SQX living his happy beggar life and HX not sure how he’s still so energetic.

A canon divergent AU where He Xuan doesn’t pull off his revenge plot ? Instead something else happens?

A soulmate AU would work well for these two IMO

Modern AU where HX is infiltrating the company that destroyed his family business and falls in love with the heir to the company president

SQX reascending to godhood as a beggar god and HX suspecting he will come for him in revenge but he just wants to be friends again

The Untamed (RPF)

Requested characters: Wang Yibo, Xiao Zhan

Why I like the canon: Uh, it took over my stupid life this summer. I haven’t liked an idol in years. I have frequently said I don’t like RPF because the canon is too diffuse to keep up with! And yet look at my twitter. I’m living in a hell of my own making.

Anyway, I got into the RPF side for The Untamed initially because the fictional canon here was very overloaded with its status as an adaptation of a novel where the characters are already together and where there aren’t many points for a writer to jump in and add to it. So I got more interested in the actors’ dynamic particularly because it’s different from Wangxian—WYB is a gremlin! Xiao Zhan is the serious professional one! And then I fell in love with them and now this is my life.

Why I like these characters: I just love their stupid handsome faces, I can’t help it. Don’t look at me. I am more of a Xiao Zhan fan but I want to be Wang Yibo’s best friend and bully him.

With Xiao Zhan, I love his smile and I love that he can write a whole essay on Wei Wuxian’s character and I love that he was a regular person who worked in an office before deciding to join one of wjjw’s basically-a-scam idol raising shows and then accidentally becoming the most famous man in China. He’s so professional and serious in interviews and it’s a great contrast to how we see him goofing around with WYB and the others on set.

With Wang Yibo, I like that he’s a wild boy who will run off to race motorcycles at any minute. I would like to shove him a little bit, in an affectionate manner. I love that he’s always looking at XZ and smiling and doesn’t seem to care if anyone notices.

Prompts:

Fooling around on set leads to love? The most basic of basic  

AUs with different settings/meetings—maybe XZ is still a designer and his company ends up working with WYB (who is still an idol)? Or WYB is a pro motorcycle racer and XZ is a sports photographer?

They drift apart now but meet again in 10 years with Regrets

Porn star AU

Having to share a bed

WYB is scared of something! XZ comforts him!

Any dumb AU you want but I would like to veto ABO for this, it’s too weird for me when they’re real people.

The Untamed (TV)

Requested characters: Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian

Note: There are other CQL/MDZS pairings I like, namely Jiang Cheng/Nie Huaisang. I also like the junior trio (as OT3 or as various twosomes.) Also, one night I read a Jiang Cheng/Lan Sizhui fic and suddenly I got all these ideas for inappropriate uncle pairings JC/LSZ and LXC/JL. If any of that speaks to your heart instead, go wild.

Why I like the canon: So obviously I read the novel and plunged into this MXTX abyss for 100 years. With this adaptation, there are a few things I don’t like versus the novel but I’m happy to ignore them because I love what they did with the visuals and music and the acting choices. Some of the changes I also do love—I love how WWX seems to be so much more into LWJ from the beginning! I love seeing them goof around, I love drunk!WYB in the drama.

I also don’t like established relationship fic for the most part, so the censorship in this adaptation means I have more to play with in fanfic!

Why I like the characters: They invented love!!! They did. I particularly like them both as kind of messes… It’s easy to forget with how great Hanguang-jun is but he’s also bad at expressing himself and it gets him into trouble. Then you have WWX the deviant genius troublemaker with a heart of gold (even when he doesn’t have his golden core). They’re immature kids who can’t figure their shit out before things get serious and then 16 years later, they are emotionally stunted 30-somethings and (tbh) I feel that. These two are meant for each other and meant to wander the country following the chaos and getting into adventures together while fucking a lot.

Prompts:

How do Wangxian get together in this universe? Was it as teens? During the war? Did they split up? Did LWJ give in to temptation earlier than in the novel? When did WWX realize his feelings?

Fix-it for the ending where they separate!! Duh! Does anyone think them being apart is going to last?

Star Trek AU with the Lans as Vulcans

Uh, I really like A/B/O fic for these two.

MAGIC SEX CURSES. Fuck or die! Sex pollen! Particularly if they’re not a couple yet and this leads to awkwardness and getting together.

Nirvana in Fire (TV)

Requested characters: Mei Changsu, Xiao Jingyan

Note: I also love Lin Chen so if you want to write some MCS/LC or LC/Fei Liu or LC/MCS/JINGYAN OT3??? go for it. I am also a Nihuang/Xia Dong shipper so if you want to put that in… somehow… my gay little heart would be happy. I also like Nihuang/MCS/XJY or MNH/MCS + MCS/XJY but I’d like the focus on the men in that case! 

Why I like the canon: I watched this show because someone recommended this show to me as, like, Chinese Game of Thrones but good. I think it’s genuinely one of the best TV shows I’ve ever seen. I love plots and revenge and good people doing bad things for justice. Even the ending is good for me though obviously it left me unsatisfied on several points.

Why I like the characters: I am deeply into sickly doomed genius MCS and every time he got even more deeply ill, I fell deeper in love. Every time he coughs up blood, my heart would race. I love his terrible schemes and stupid self-sacrificing choices. I find watching this show very soothing because I knew he would always come out on top in his schemes. I trust him. I love handsome clueless Jingyan and how he’s just so good (it’s terrible.) I love his mom and how much he cares for her. I love him but he is useless, he needs his Xiao Shu and I need fanfic to restore him to him.

Note: So my limited research on this says that male/male sex practices were accepted and well-known in this time period in history, so I really don’t want them thinking “oh no what are these weird gay feelings.” There are other barriers to them being together, like a ruler or official being overly attached to one person was considered very bad. I am also a big supporter of the socially-approved polygamy of this time period, so I don’t need Jingyan to refuse to sleep with his wife or something out of loyalty to MCS—he has to do it! Or all their plans are ruined! And he can enjoy spending time with her or the concubines without affecting his feelings for MCS—you could explore that complexity in fic if you like.

Prompts:

Mei Changsu isn’t dead, he’s hiding again, Jingyan searches for him

They start having sex during the series, the ending is averted [somehow]

Post-canon, MCS is alive and Jingyan hides him in the palace with his consort/concubines to keep him on as an advisor without anyone objecting

AU where male/male marriage is customary (maybe aristocratic men are expected to have one male and one female consort?) and so MCS decides the best way to influence and help Jingyan in the capital is by becoming his wife or one of his concubines

anything just get them together and happy.

Promare

Requested characters: Galo, Lio

Why I like the canon: I love this film but I also find it to be… not enough? I wanted more character development, I wanted more plot, I wanted the goddamn Burnish to stay burning things. So I requested it because I want more! Please help me.

Why I like the characters: I love freedom fighter idealist Lio who will kick everyone’s ass for what is right. I love idiot idealist Galo who wants to fight all fires and learns to love exactly one fire. I think now that they aren’t saving the world by punching global warming, they should have a nice romance. I also like they points where they clash in the film, so I’d love to see them adjusting to “normal life” and having to deal with not having the crisis to make sure they get along.

Prompts:

Galo and Lio rebuilding the world together

Lio regaining Burnish powers?

AU where the Burnish are still a thing but it’s not a big crisis/battle and they just have normal jobs and there are integration programs and Lio is an angry Burnish teen and Galo volunteers at a community center helping Burnish control their powers. Like a world that’s more everyday X-Men than X-men in full adventure war mode.

This is the one request where I’d probably enjoy gen fic with lots of worldbuilding.

I would also enjoy lots of horny porn, preference for Galo topping with his giant stupid dick? I’m sorry I’m like this.

I do want to note ahead of time that I might be traveling (as in, possibly literally on a plane) when fics go live, so please do not be upset if I do not comment on the fic right away! But I definitely will! I know this can be a sore spot for authors so I wanted to give some warning. 

I think that is all! Thank you very much and I’ll see you at the end of all this. 

[dearchuchu]

Ah settle yourself in for the grand tale of how we acquired carsdorp. 

Yes that is me with a 1983 Mercedes benz on the southern coast of South Africa. You may be wondering, “How the hell did they end up with a 1983 Mercedes Benz in South Africa?” Valid question. 

After a successful wine festival in Stellenbosch we had to make our move to Cape Town South Africa, which at this point is practically the same city. As Cape Town has grown it has basically eaten up some neighboring cities in its progress, Stellenbosch being one of those cities. There wasn’t a bus we felt like messing with, and the train seemed ill advised by the internet community, so we decided to just take an Uber, as they are cheap and everywhere.  

Our Uber driver was nice, and we talked about all sorts of political and racial issues on the around 45 minute drive to Cape Town. Unfortunately, we went to the wrong address, as it turns out there were two streets named the same thing with the same numbering system in Cape Town. This meant the Uber cost more than it should have, but we understood its a pretty easy mistake to make. Seriously though, two streets named the same thing in a city, with the same numbering system? Did they run out of street names? This seems like a really easy fix.

We arrive at our hostel safe and sound, and we go to check in. We were told pretty quickly that we canceled our reservation months ago, and they didn’t have any room for us. This was shocking to say the least. We did not cancel our reservation months ago. Mandy went ahead and let the front desk guy no that in VERY specific terms, pulling out our documentation and showing that we DID have a reservation. We were informed it was canceled from our end. Mandy was quick to inform them, “Yeah, but you took the money. The funds have been removed.”

This is a problem. 

The basic gist of it is that we wanted to cancel ONE DAY from our reservation months ago and we were told that they can’t cancel just one day through the (credit card) points we were using to book. We were told to cancel the whole reservation, and then rebook, which Mandy did. The first reservation was canceled, the second was made, and at some point the hostel canceled the second reservation without telling us... months ago. This means the booking we made didn’t exist, despite us being charged for it, and the hostel had no available room for us. 

Fun.

The hostel did their absolute best to find us another accommodation, but this was a Saturday night in the second largest city in South Africa... everything was obviously booked. We sat at their bar, connected to their wifi, and then set about trying to figure out what the fuck we were going to do. More importantly, where the fuck are we going to stay... TONIGHT. Like, we had no where to stay in the second largest city in South Africa on a Saturday night. HOORAY!

Remember back when we had a car? At least when we had a car, maybe we could have slept in it. Here we are, stranded in Cape Town South Africa with no where to stay, not even a car, and no real prospects of anything we can do to fix this situation. We start casting a VERY wide net of places we could stay for AT LEAST the night, mainly focusing on Airbnb. We started close to where our original booking was, and quickly discovered everything available at this short notice is LAUGHABLY over our budget. We then continued going further and further out of the city trying to find anywhere that would take us in. 

Not only were we having a very hard time finding things, the things we found that were in our budget were not writing us back. We sat in the bar, the common area of the hostel we were supposed to be staying in for around 6 hours on the internet trying to find anywhere to stay. The front desk manager came to us at some point and explained they had spoken with their manager, and he was authorized to give us our full money back for our booking... in cash. Basically just handed us a fist full of rand. They were truly sorry for the problem, but there isn’t much else they could do but let us stay and use their wifi until we found something else. 

At the end of our ropes, we decided that we would book a Airbnb quite a bit further out than we ever intended to stay, mainly because it was a “book now” posting. That means it is an automatic booking, so we DEFINITELY have somewhere to stay, at least for the night. The good news is that the place was quite close to a bus stop, and the Cape Town public transit is excellent, so we could start the next day out right. By the time we booked, contacted our host, and contacted Uber for our ride out of town to our Airbnb, the sun had set. We lost basically a full day in Cape Town trying to find somewhere to sleep. 

At one point in this trip, one of our hosts said that we were possibly bad luck because of all the issues we have had in South Africa with the rental cars. We were slightly offended, and explained to our host, “No, we are good luck. Generally when something good is happening on our trip, we will just accidentally show up to it.” Case in point, showing up to a wine festival that you didn’t know existed and drinking all the wine you can for $15. Let me take a second here to assure you dear reader (whoever takes the time to read all this...) that we are in fact good luck. 

Our host Dean greeted us at the gate to his place and told us he was glad we made it. We apologize for it being so late, and then he said, “No problem. You have a cooler? If you don’t mind my asking, you are the first backpackers I’ve ever seen with a cooler. Why do you have a cooler?” We explain to Dean, “Well Dean the long and short of it is we got the cooler for Kruger National park, but that was a lifetime ago. Our car got stolen in Durban, but the cooler wasn’t in it. When our second car got broken into in Port Elizabeth, the one thing the thieves didn’t take was our cooler. It rode under the bus with us to Stellenbosch, and then in two Ubers to get here.”  Dean said, “Shit.”

Shit indeed Dean. Shit indeed. We got Dean up to date on the situation, and he agreed with everyone else that we have had some “bad luck” in South Africa. Then he apologizes for our hostel falling through. He showed us around and gave us the lay of the land for the place he had for us. We had our own little spot that included a queen sized bed, TWO bathrooms, a basic kitchen set up with all the basics and then some, and of course an HD tv mounted on the wall. At our hostel, we would have had a bed, and an ensuite bathroom, that is it. So our set up at our place was MUCH better than it would have been, also cheaper.

Dean shows us into the main house area which is a shared space for other rooms he has rented out. He has a pool table, pinball machine, arcade machine, and sodas and beer for sale at price out of a mini fridge. Yeah, Deans place was quite a bit cooler than the place we couldn’t stay at. Dean also was incredibly accommodating, asking us what our plans were in Cape Town (we had none) and how we were getting around. Dean sat us down and made up a basic itinerary for us, and then told us which busses could get us closest to where we were trying to get to. Then Dean asks us, “Are you comfortable driving on the wrong side of the road?”

Dean leads us out to his parking lot, and there is a beauty of a Mercedes Benz just sitting there. Dean explains that from time to time he will lend it to a guest, but for insurance and legal reasons, he can’t rent it. We told him we understood completely. He offered to lend it to us if we wanted, and at first we said no. Cars were not exactly doing well for us so far. Dean explained its fully insured, and if it gets stolen, he truly isn’t worried about it because of its age, and it is totally insured. We all have a good laugh, and then we decide it would be WAY easier to get around to the southern part of Cape Town with a car. We accept.

Any car as old as this 1983 Mercedes Benz is going to have some quirks, this car certainly had them, and Dean walked us through each one. First of all, the driver door doesn’t lock per say. I mean, it will sort of go down if you wiggle it just right, but if you pull aggressively on the door handle, it will unlock without a key. Good to know. Second, the car has a anti theft unit installed and won’t start without pushing a button on the keys. This seems like a no-brainer in South Africa, its almost like they should do that in rental cars. The only thing left to explain is that it handles like a 30 year old car for some reason. A 30 year old Mercedes though, to be fair.

With that we were off into the greater Cape Town area rolling around with a fantastic Mercedes Benz to explore in. At times it felt like playing the video game Grand Theft Auto, because this car is so much bigger than any car I’ve driven, and the city is completely new to me. The vibe of the car had a very “Vice City” kind of feel to it. We decided very quickly that the car needed a name. We didn’t  name the last cars, and look what happened. We spent some time debating as we drove through the city, “Destro” was one of my suggestions as it was age appropriate, Mandy suggested “Jalopy”. 

This car was a little janky, so jalopy fit. The driver side door “sort of locks” for fuck sake. It took a little bit of thinking, but once we came up with the perfect name, we knew it all at once. 

Carsdorp.

[coin-news-blog]

‘Why Are You Afraid?’ – Watch Roger Ver Debate Nouriel Roubini on Cryptocurrency

New Post has been published on https://coinmakers.tech/news/why-are-you-afraid-watch-roger-ver-debate-nouriel-roubini-on-cryptocurrency

‘Why Are You Afraid?’ – Watch Roger Ver Debate Nouriel Roubini on Cryptocurrency

‘Why Are You Afraid?’ – Watch Roger Ver Debate Nouriel Roubini on Cryptocurrency

Starting a debate by calling nearly everyone in the room “economically illiterate” doesn’t usually end well for someone attempting to persuade an audience, but that’s just what American economist Nouriel Roubini did on Tuesday, in his debate with Bitcoin.com Executive Chairman Roger Ver. The 40-minute, high-energy volley of arguments and ad homs is as entertaining to watch as it is enlightening.

The Fate of Crypto

The debate, which took place at London’s CC Forum, was an informal style back and forth with loose moderation provided by Eric Van der Kleij, entitled “Will Cryptocurrencies Fail or Succeed?” From the starting gun the discourse takes on a life of its own, with American economist and professor Nouriel Roubini refusing Ver’s offer to receive some free BCH, saying “These are not currencies, so I don’t accept them.” He then notes:

Most people in this space don’t know anything about money, about monetary policy, about banking, about central banking, about finance, about financial institutions. There’s a massive amount of financial illiteracy.

Roubini argues that cryptocurrencies are not true currencies, claiming “bitcoin or any other shit coin” is “absolutely not” a unit of account or means of payment. He cites the relatively small amount of users worldwide and volatile prices. Ver counters what will become Roubini’s mantra throughout the event, that cryptocurrencies have lost most of their value (when looking at peak prices), by producing a ¥10,000 note and detailing the inflation that has already decimated fiat currencies around the globe.

Ver retorts:

This piece of paper in my hand that’s today worth around $90 … used to be worth over $200,000 not all that long ago. How is that a stable store of value?

Roubini rises to the defense of central bankers, claiming “there is low inflation in all advanced economies,” and adding “the idea that central banks are debasing money with high inflation may have been the story for Venezuela or a couple other countries, but it’s not the story for most advanced economies.”

Terrorists, Tax Evaders and Criminals

Things really kick off around the 11:47 mark of the debate video, when Roubini raises his voice and proclaims in southern baptist preacher-like cadence:

No government in the world can allow criminals, terrorists, tax evaders, crooks to move money … without AML and without KYC … you don’t give a shit about them, but they’re gonna crack down on you.

For all his logical flaws throughout the discourse, Roubini does finally manage to ask (or at least to imply) a pertinent question as to how regulation of violent crime could be managed in the context of the financial freedom advocated by Ver, but fails to address Ver’s question about his own personal preference. As the Bitcoin evangelist repeatedly tries to ask Roubini if he personally prefers control over his own funds, and the ability to freely send them, the New York professor shouts him down each time.

Ad Homs and Good Questions

The rest of the debate plays similar, with Roubini falling back on the mantra of bitcoin cash’s loss of value since “the peak” and the presupposition in a room full of crypto users that “nobody uses it.” That notwithstanding, the preponderance of engaging moments and quotable gems makes this debate worth watching all the way through. Ver’s promotion of “a level playing field” for all humans inspires regardless of one’s philosophical biases. Roubini’s uncompromising stance on regulation is thought-provoking.

For all the ad hominem assertions that all of crypto is a shitcoin, and Roubini refusing to yield the floor when he’s hammering a point home, a real highlight occurs during the Q & A period, when a veteran of asset management poses a question. The audience member addresses Roubini, saying:

“Professor, I’m just amazed, having been in the asset management industry for nearly 30 years, the continual lies that I hear from people like you. The $320 billion that so-called safe banks have been fined in the last 10 years because of money laundering … I’m off to California in two days’ time, I’ll go to an ATM. I’ll pull out some U.S. dollars, 90% of which have trace cocaine. Does that make me a money laundering drug dealer?”

After asking why criminals would want to leave a digital footprint and choose crypto over dollars, he goes on to implore the American economist to be a bit more open-minded about the future of finance.

A Thought-Provoking Exchange

The debate ends no less amusingly, the two contenders ramping up the battle in a close-to-the-net series of attempted game-winning spikes, as someone shouts from the audience: “willful ignorance.” The small pandemonium inspires the moderator to call it, and Ver implores sharply over the din of Roubini’s wooden, anti-crypto monologue, “Why are you afraid to try it?” Whatever one’s view of the contenders, or of BCH as a currency, the debate can be seen as a thought-provoking resource for learning why some people may be hesitant to use crypto, and understanding why so many are becoming excited about this new permissionless money that is borderless, decentralized, and censorship-resistant.

Source: news.bitcoin

[junker-town]

Racing the past in Jonesport, Maine: 5 days aboard the world's fastest lobster boats

The parade in Jonesport, Maine on Saturday, July 1 probably isn’t the longest one in the history of the world, but it certainly feels like it. Seven 18-wheelers that usually transport lobsters to faraway places roll slowly down Main Street, honking their horns in a triumphant, discordant chorus. Slightly terrifying clowns thread their way through a string of American-made convertibles which carry girls wearing gauzy princess dresses. Each one is vying for the title of Little Miss Fourth of July and waving like a tiny Queen of England.

This was supposed to be the celebration following the World’s Fastest Lobster Boat Races, but those have been postponed a day thanks to the thick fog that refuses to lift from the harbor. The parade and fireworks couldn’t be pushed back: the town already paid for the show, and the pyrotechnics guys won't reschedule. This evening — meant for winners to gloat and losers to drown their sorrows in cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon — has instead turned into a bizarre precursor to the main event, races the locals have been waiting for all year.

The lobstermen who make up this strange party compete all summer long on a race circuit that takes them and their boats to 11 fishing communities up and down the Maine coast. A 26-foot boat really only needs a 250-horsepower engine, but in order to race, lobstermen and women trick out boats of that size with 350-500 horsepower and open up their throttles for little more than pride. Some of the vessels are over 40 feet long and pack over 1200 horsepower. The winnings are negligible; first place takes home $150, second place nets $100, and third wins $50. That's nothing for people who pull in hundreds of thousands of dollars a year catching lobsters.

The money doesn't matter. The real prize is bragging rights.

Some people in town say the races started when lobstermen would race each other into the harbor after a day of hauling traps. Others believe they began because all the boatbuilders wanted to prove they could design the fastest boat. But everyone agrees on one thing: the competitions started in here in Jonesport sometime between the turn of the century and the 1930s.

“This is our Daytona 500, the one day a year everyone went out and played, you know?” Lobsterman Richard Alley had told me when he took me out fishing the day before. “It’s just a way of life. It’s the way it’s always been.”

The town hasn’t changed much since the ‘30s, and hardly at all since the races’ heyday in the 1970s. There’s one main street, no hotels, one restaurant, a general store where you can still rent VHS tapes and DVDs, and about five last names: Alley, Beal, Carver, Peabody, and Smith (“Father’s Day is confusing here,” one of the lobstermen jokes). The biggest sign of the passage of time are the boats themselves — they used to be wooden and ran on gasoline. Now, they’re mostly fiberglass and diesel.

From where I stand watching the parade near the Coast Guard station, I can see Moosabec Reach, where the races will take place. The course used to be a two-mile loop that went under the bridge connecting Jonesport to Beals Island, but too many fishermen crashed into each other or the concrete pilings of the causeway. Now, they compete in a tamer drag race about a mile long, and stop before the bridge.

Richard rides by on his motorcycle with the fireman’s brigade. He waves. A pickup truck decorated in rainbows with a big PRIDE sign pulls a man in a tutu on roller blades. After that comes 4-year-old Kennedy Carver, grinning inside a little play schoolhouse mounted on a trailer that her father pulls behind his truck. Kennedy is the granddaughter of the couple who own the video store, where the lobstermen play cribbage in the afternoons underneath a sign that says “Old Fart’s, Daycare.” Later, Kennedy will win the Judge’s Choice Award and take home $500. Her mother will say that the check is going toward her college fund. Kennedy will say it’s going toward Legos.

Kennedy’s 13-year-old sister Jazmin sits opposite me on the side of the road with two friends. There are only 12 kids in her 8th grade class; she and the girls she’s with are gossiping about who’s going where for the fireworks later. Their faces are lit up in the blue glow of their phones as they scroll through Instagram. Two teenagers stand near Jazmin, arms wrapped around each other. The boy is wearing a Jonesport-Beals High School basketball sweatshirt and athletic shorts, the girl is in tight jean shorts and a spaghetti-strap tank top.

The parade eventually ends. I drive my rented Jeep over to Beals Island and pull into a parking spot on the wharf at Perio Point where they’re going to set off the fireworks, the last thing left to anticipate before the races themselves. I drink a beer while I wait for the show to start, which I figure is fine; I haven’t seen a cop here in three days. After a few minutes a man in a bright orange vest comes over and taps on the window. I roll it down, expecting to get in trouble for the open can in my car.

“You see that pile of wood ovah theah?”

I seem to have parked about ten feet away from a massive heap of pallets and scraps from the nearby boatyard. Yes, I say, I see it.

“We’re about to set it on fi-ah. You might wanta move yoah vee-hicle.”

I oblige.

A few men dump lighter fluid onto the pile and the entire thing goes up in flames. Orange fingers of heat lick at the sky, casting light on a headless statue of a lobster that stands next to the burning mass. The fireworks begin, and the fog, smoke, and gunpowder make the whole wharf look like a war scene. A man walks by as I brush embers out of my hair.

“You thought you came to the lobster boat races,” he says.

He points to the fire and chuckles.

“But you came to hell.”

The teenage couple from the parade is standing next to the bonfire now. They’re still embracing, gazing at each other, arms and legs intertwined. They make out periodically as explosions reflect off the clouds, holding onto each other only the way you can when you’re 16, it’s summer, and the thought of letting go is as terrifying as hitting the bridge at full speed.

They’ll probably hold each other forever if they stay in Jonesport.

Maine curves out into the Atlantic, so when you head up to Jonesport, you’re “going Down East.” The state’s tourism economy is huge, but the town is hard enough to get to that it only has a small wealthy summer community, and doesn’t draw as many day-trippers as the rest of the coast. Jonesport and Beals Island are two of the few places along the jagged shoreline where lobstermen haven’t been priced out of owning oceanfront property.

The lobster industry is booming, sustained by intricate guidelines that prevent overfishing. Not many other ways of making a living have survived in America as long as this one has in Maine. People from Jonesport tell you the names of their great-great-grandfathers when they introduce themselves. This place is tribal, and local memory goes back generations. For centuries, families have married into each other and stayed put.

Lineage is an anchor, your last name a badge. Both prove how much you belong.

I grew up spending summers about in Rockport, a working harbor about three hours down the coast from Jonesport and four north of Boston. I ran the kids’ sailing program at a small, not-fancy boat club next to the fishing docks through high school and college. In 2008, a lobster boat named Miss Melinda caught fire by the boat club’s float. I was the first person to get to it, hopping on as the acrid smoke billowed up into the sky. The captain and his sternman refused to leave their daily catch. I had to beg them to jump into my skiff, and two minutes after we drove away, Miss Melinda exploded. As the men watched their boat and thousands of dollars’ worth of lobsters burn down to the water line, they told me that neither of them could swim.

***

People in Jonesport who know Doug Dodge (and everybody in Jonesport knows Doug Dodge) talk about him like he’s still the cool kid throwing spitballs in the back of math class, even though he’s 70 years old. He’s the guy, everyone told me, I had to race with.

But the races have taken forever to arrive. A post on the Fans of Maine Lobster Boat Racing Facebook page announced that the lobstermen had postponed the competition until Tuesday, the Fourth of July, due to “wicked southerly and dungeon fog.”

Last night I called Doug to figure out where we should meet this morning.

“Oh,” he said. “I sank my boat.”

“Doug,” I said. “Don’t mess with me.”

It seemed likely that a man who’d spent the past three rainy days regaling me with stories about making prank calls and firing guns down the toilet of his boat yard’s outhouse (“shooting the shit”) would be pulling my leg about something like this.

“Nope,” he’d said. “I’m not. I sank it. Was going about 40 miles per hour in Moosabec Reach and the planking fell off. I haven’t let it sit in the water long enough this year, so the wood didn’t expand fully. Some screws popped out, the boards ripped off, and we went down. I was knees deep in water before someone came and hauled me to shore.”

Doug and I are now standing beside his boat, Brenda, at the Jonesport shipyard. He’s wearing jeans coated with a patina of engine grease and specks of paint, and his faded blue tee has the blueprint of a sailboat he built on it. He’s trying not to show his teeth when he smiles, because he recently chipped one badly on the right side of his mouth.

Broken and purposeless, Brenda sits on a trailer with a rough, unpainted wooden plank nailed over the hole in her hull. In addition to being a lobsterman and boatbuilder, Doug also works as a caretaker for a couple from Connecticut who have a house in Jonesport. They were on the boat with him when he started racing another lobsterman — showing off — and sank.

Had Brenda been fiberglass, Doug wouldn’t have had to worry about letting the materials expand. But he believes in the craft of wooden boatbuilding, and in the deafening roar of the old gasoline engines. Most of the younger guys race fiberglass boats with diesel engines that can approach 80 miles an hour. Doug says he’s building a new wooden boat that he’s convinced will match those speeds.

Lobsterman and boatbuilder Doug Dodge with his wife Brenda at their home.

Brenda is named after Doug’s wife of 47 years. He threw a snowball at her head one February and jokes that she didn’t come to until he married her that June. She was valedictorian of Jonesport-Beals High School, and worked as a local newspaper reporter and photographer until she developed a blood clot in her brain in 2012, then suffered a series of strokes.

Doug caught Lyme Disease around the same time. He had to stop fishing and building the boat he was working on for a man in New York City because he couldn’t be out in the sun due to his medication. The guy from New York sued him. Between that and the constant care Brenda requires, he says he ran out of money.

“But fishermen are liars, right?” he says, laughing.

They’re certainly great at keeping secrets. Lobstermen generally won’t tell you how much money they make, although when he took me fishing on Friday, Richard said he nets about $120,000 a year. Some are even reluctant to reveal exactly how fast their boats go or what horsepower they’re packing.

They're fiercely competitive, whether they’re racing boats for fun or fishing to make a living. Occasionally they’ll sever the buoys from each other’s traps to sink them if they feel encroached upon. A few years ago, on the island of Matinicus, one lobsterman shot another in the neck in broad daylight on a wharf in the center of town after catching him cutting his traps.

Because the races were postponed, I’d spent Saturday shooting guns with Doug in his backyard. Wearing a t-shirt said THIS IS WHAT AWESOME LOOKS LIKE, he held a .44 Magnum at his hip and fired off 10 quick rounds with no warning. Then he spun the gun around on his trigger finger, looked at me, and grinned, opening his other clenched fist to reveal a handful of bullets. Doug could never buy ammunition again and still have enough to last a lifetime. He stocked up when he thought Hillary Clinton might win the election.

“I didn't want anyone taking these from me,” he'd said, gesturing to his wall of rifles, pistols, and shotguns.

Brenda — who’s 5’10, with wide cheekbones, dark hair, and unfocused bright blue eyes — stood at the kitchen window while we shot at jugs of water hanging from a fence. She mumbled sentences that had the cadence of regular speech but were just a jumble of random words. Pictures of the Dodges’ daughter, who moved to South Carolina, sat on the windowsill beside her.

Thirty minutes after leaving Doug staring up at his boat at the shipyard, I’m sitting in a blue lawn chair in the stern of Richard Alley’s lobster boat Family Alliance. A T-shirt with a picture of a lobster riding a Harley-Davidson is stretched over Richard's prominent stomach, and red suspenders clipped to his jeans hold everything together. He has a shock of white hair, bleached from the sun, and deep lines baked into his skin. He doesn’t smile much, but when he does, it’s like he’s admitting he doesn’t mind having you around.

After Doug told me he sank his boat on Monday night, I’d called up Richard to ask if I could race with him.

“I don’t see why not,” he’d said, since we’d gone fishing together a few days before.

After days and days of bad weather, this is one of those clear Maine mornings when the light slants across the water at an angle so sharp it makes you ache. The sun’s turned the sky, rocky islands, and blueberry barrens into a collage of blues, greens, whites, and grays. Bright colors humans have put here punctuate the landscape; a red mailbox, a pink buoy, a yellow line down the middle of a narrow road.

Lobsterman Richard Alley rafts up to a friend’s boat while he waits for his turn to race.

We’re motoring from Richard’s dock and heading to the flotilla of lobster boats rafted up near Beal’s Island by the finish line. Everyone watches there until it’s their turn to compete. Richard’s wife, Eve, sits on a cooler. She’s a freckled, robust nurse and schoolteacher with gray hair cropped close and bright blue eyes.

Eve laughs easily and often and swears the perfect amount. She and Richard met when she was 19 and he was 24; he’d just come home from a stint in the Gulf of Mexico with the merchant marines. Richard asked her father if he had any daughters left he could date, “and he had me,” Eve says, laughing. On Friday night, the two of them had gone to the town's annual race party and danced until midnight in the tent, the way they have for decades, since Eve was a teenager.

Richard hates what computers are doing to the community (“No one walks across the driveway anymore,” he laments. “They just send a text.”). But Eve uses Facebook, and says everyone in Jonesport has been posting about how excited they are for the races. She reads me a few posts, then puts her phone down, spreads her arms wide toward the water, and lets out a whoop that carries across the bay. She’s thrilled I’m here because her daughter, Shareen, and son-in-law, Chris, can’t be. Yesterday, Chris broke his leg and ankle in six places when a log rolled out from under him while he was exploring an island on a picnic. He had to leave Jonesport for emergency surgery in Bangor, where he and Shareen live. She's an auditor. He’s a welder.

Richard is the last lobsterman in his family.

Richard Alley aboard Family Alliance before his race starts.

“Our kids went out of the area to make a living,” says Eve. “There’s really not much here anymore. I’m just afraid that fishing is going to be like your Wal-Marts, where everything is corporate, you know? The independent fisherman is dying.”

We motor by the Coast Guard station — which used to be one of three big sardine factories in Maine before they all shut down between 2000 and 2010 — then pass an island where many of Richard’s family members are buried. In a cove nearby, a man named Olin lost his arm when it snagged in his boat’s pulley system as he hauled a trap. A lobsterman Richard used to see on the water everyday recently died; Richard didn’t know the guy very well, but he always looked forward to waving at him.

Richard writes poems to try to make sense of it all.

“Death motivates me to write more than anything,” he says. “I’d like to leave some kind of legacy for friends and family. People like to know where they came from, you know? You wouldn’t want to go through life not knowing who your parents were, or your grandparents, or anything like that, though I know some people do.”

He opens a canvas tote bag and pulls out a plastic sleeve filled with his poetry, along with newspaper clippings about his family. He puts his glasses on and starts to read a poem he wrote after his father died.

Honest smiles, clear skies, and calm seas, These are the things a fisherman always sees. But in his soul he really knows It’s raging seas, gray skies, and the wind that blows. He lives his life out on the edge, Like a crashing sea on a rocky ledge. It’s islands and birds he loves the most, and his free spirit —

Richard coughs. He tries to keep going, chokes up, and rubs his eyes underneath his glasses.

“I can’t read it,” he says, and hands the paper to Eve. She picks up where he left off, her voice clear and steady.

The spirits of his ancestors are still there too, Working along as they used to do. He sees them in his mind almost every day, and this is why he loves earning his living this way.

“By Richard P. Alley,” Eve says. She looks up and smiles. “Isn’t that awesome?”

***

People on board the 50 or so boats anchored around us drink beers and dance to classic rock. It’s now close to 11 a.m. We reached the floating tailgate at about 9:30, and have been watching the races — which are divided into classes depending on boat length and engine horsepower — since they kicked off at 10. Guitar chords and peals of laughter echo across the water. The pastor of the church blessed all the boats over the marine radio before the races began, and now the organizers chat with each other, their staticky voices rising up from each boat.

The crowd on lobsterman Sonny Beal’s boat Nancy Ann wears shirts that say, “WE MAY NOT BE FIRST, BUT SOMETIMES WE’RE NOT LAST.” Dana Beal — the lobsterman who owns The Right Stuff and is somehow related to Sonny — drives by in his boat and waves. Chix Dig It floats by, blasting country music. A big trawler that’s made the trek from a harbor further south flies a confederate flag, even though 72,945 Mainers fought for the Union, and the confederacy attacked Portland Harbor.

Jazmin, the 13-year-old from the parade, whizzes by in her 23-foot boat with her father by her side. She’s losing to Noah, a 12-year-old boy who was born blind. He steers based on the directions his father shouts from the bow.

Speed on the water feels faster than speed on land, especially when you’re plowing through the ocean in a sturdy, working lobster boat. These things are closer to Clydesdales, or even oxen, than thoroughbreds. Their main job is to let their captains fish safely and efficiently. They’re not particularly graceful or hydrodynamic, and are definitely not designed to go as fast as their owners are pushing them today. Twelve of these things hurtling toward you, rocking in each other's wakes, look oddly majestic. It’s like taking those 18-wheelers from the parade on Saturday and running them three wide at Daytona.

Richard hasn’t won a race in a while. He says attendance has been falling in recent years, too. The crowds just aren't what they used to be, when most people born here stayed their whole lives, and rivalries between shipyards resulted in legendary match-ups like The Red Baron vs. Sopwith Camel. “This story should’ve been done 25 years ago,” one of the lobstermen told me.

Finally, it’s our turn. Eve packs the turkey, ham, and white bread we had for lunch back into the cooler and we motor out to the starting line, idling next to the one other boat we’re racing. There’s not much competition this year. Richard takes the wooden casing off the engine; the intricate network of tubes and pumps will stay cooler with more air circulating around them and help us go even faster.

We both start beside the race organizer’s boat, bows even, going about 20 miles an hour. It feels pretty fast, but then a guy drops a flag, and Richard pushes the throttle down as far as it will go. We rocket forward and climb up to full speed, neck and neck with the other boat. Eve screams, “Run those bastards down!” as Family Alliance pulls away. “We’re winning!” she keeps repeating, but it looks like the other boat might be overtaking us. It’s too close to tell as we cross the finish line and Richard throttles down right before we go underneath the bridge. Its shadow passes over us, and the sound of our engine booms off the bottom of the causeway.

Richard smiles.

“Don’t you think we won?” Eve asks me.

I tell her yes, definitely, even though I’m not at all sure. Richard swings the boat back around. The people on the radio are confused; they can’t tell what boat is racing when, or even what class we’re in. Everything is disorganized and haphazard, as though the act of competing were the reward rather than who won.

This doesn’t seem to be true for Richard, though; he turns up the volume, afraid he’ll miss the announcement of the winner.

Finally, the staticky voice comes through. We lost.

We race again, lose again. Our last competition of the day is a huge free-for-all for World’s Fastest Lobster Boat in which anyone can compete. It's the grand finale.

Richard opens up the throttle, we pace with the others, and the flag drops.

When you go close to 40 miles an hour in a lobster boat, you feel the vibrations of the engine in your chest, your stomach, your thighs. Richard grips the metal pulley that hangs from the open cabin’s ceiling, bracing his belly against the console. We’re cocooned inside a wall of sound and water — the spray shoots off the bow and arches up in a fountain of froth. The boat tilts so far back that it feels like we’ll all flip out over the stern, but we stay in, shooting by the rafted-up boats where people are cheering and spilling beers as they wave.

For about a minute, as Family Alliance flies down Moosabec Reach, we’re at the very center of the universe. We control the tides. Compasses point toward us.

Eve is screaming “We’re having fun!” but something doesn’t feel right — we’re much closer to these other boats than we were in the previous races. In fact, there’s barely fifteen feet between us and another called Kimberly Ann, and we keep getting closer and closer. The chop from all the engine propellers sends a huge wave crashing over the stern of Family Alliance. Eve is whooping, drenched. She raises her arms in the air like she’s on a roller coaster.

And then, suddenly, we get caught in the trough of Kimberly Ann’s wake, and we start to flip. The boat goes sideways, at what feels like a 90-degree angle to the surface of the water, and our chairs slam against the side of the boat. We grab onto the rails to stop ourselves from crashing into each other as the engine cover slides across the floor and pins Eve to a metal bucket near the stern. It all lasts probably 10 seconds, but it feels like an hour before Richard pulls the throttle back and spins us out of the fray. The other boats roar by us, making their way across the finish line and under the bridge.

Eve keeps repeating, “Oh my god, oh my god," half laughing, half gasping for breath. She and I stare at each other in shock, amazed we’re not swimming or dead.

Richard is completely calm.

He drives the boat toward the wharf as though nothing happened. Eve holds up her arm — blood is trickling down her wrist, and her watch is completely busted. Richard pulls Family Alliance up to the dock and drops me off.

I feel like I just climbed out of a blender.

After the races are over and the floating parties have died down, the whole town gathers by the Coast Guard station for the awards ceremony and raffle. Boating and fishing companies donate prizes — everything from a new engine to a fresh set of traps. People from Jonesport and Beals walk around greeting each other, some slightly buzzed on beers and hours of direct sun. Some eat hot dogs. A few smoke cigarettes.

Jazmin and a friend sit on the pavement holding their phones. She just won a new trap, and beams as she shows it off. Doug and Brenda stand by the awards table. Doug talks to Stevie Carver and Dana Beal — Dana holds his first-place trophy, a metal plate shaped like a ship’s wheel. Doug stares wistfully at the prize. Brenda stares out to sea.

Richard stands next to Doug, looking stern, his stomach now wrapped in a black motorcycle vest. Eve went home to clean up her wrist and dry off. Richard lost twice and nearly crashed once. The days when he used to win, and the chemical stench of fiberglass hadn’t overtaken the smell of cedar in boat shops, are gone. So are the days when a child and parent’s way of life were always, without question, going to be the same. When winning the title of World’s Fastest Lobster Boat was the biggest way to make your mark on this place.

“I think it’d be weird without the races,” Richard had said on Friday as he pulled a lobster out of a trap in the middle of the Reach. “You think of all the ones before you, and I guess you’re just cuttin’ your path in life when you’re doing it. It’s how somebody’ll remember you someday.”

At least he hopes they will. In Jonesport, the past means more than the future.

The lobster industry may be flourishing, but something is still being lost. Richard used to have marine equipment and charts spread out over the cockpit of his boat; now he only needs one computer screen to navigate and plot the location of his traps. Boundaries between here and everywhere else have blurred as kids move away from the town where Richard and Eve were married on July 2, 1982. They skipped their honeymoon. Richard dropped Eve off at her parents’ house the morning after their wedding and headed off to race. He won.

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 54 - DET

The last game was quite divisive: here I was swearing up a storm about this club still having a fighting chance while most Sabres fans beat down Jason Botterill’s door for any kind of roster move. I figure we can prepare for a Botterill move that may or may not happen while also getting over some stuff in the meantime. I think we need to get over the win streak and shit show that has followed it. That may sound hypocritical coming from a blogger like me who seems to bring it up every third game but hear me out here. We can rant and rave about how this defensive lineup is just not good enough, Housley’s many deployment flops, and certainly the endless drum beat of “lipstick on a pig”-“masking the problems”-“bait-and-switch” or whatever figure of speech you’re using to describe how without the win streak this team is pretty comfortably situated in the basement of the Eastern Conference right now. We got to get over it. That win streak happened and it put the Sabres here: within striking distance of a playoff spot with 30 games left for the first time in six years. Whatever this team is or isn’t: it is better than the Detroit Red Wings and worthy of fighting this fight until the dying end. Those wins in November, no matter how much they seem out of place now, were earned by this club. It is time to cheer this club right in front of us to a playoff spot… or go blue in the face trying. That said I totally sympathize with the sentiment that Buffalo needed a win here if for no other reason than to put the wild series of postgame comments from last game behind them. They totally did that job. This Detroit team has been fifty shades of crap this season. Every game is must win now and teams like this in your own building are super-must wins if such a thing exists. The Sabres got the win and it was a roundly consistent effort at that.

The Red Wings seemed poised out of the gate testing Linus Ullmark early. As happy as I am to see Linus starting to get more starts I am also not convinced he isn’t concussed. You may recall the hit to the head he took from Zach Pairse’s hip in the shootout win over Minnesota. He was supposedly declared fine that night and looked good enough against Carolina but at least two of the goals against in that game looked a little too easy for him not to get. Sam Reinhart’s back-peddled comments aside it would seem there was something lacking from Linus. Ullmark stood tall in the first period of this game and in spite of Mittelstadt bouncing a breakaway shot off the post and Bogo shooting one point blank old Jimmy Howard wasn’t beaten either. I went to last night’s wicked 7-1 Amerks win with my dad and we joked watching this game that a scoreless first would also lead to a Sabres home rout of the opposition. The second period did see this game open up a bit but no Victor Olofsson level heroics in this one. A little over a minute into the middle frame Conor Sheary peeled a bad pass from Justin Abdelkader in the O-zone and shot it down the slot over Howard’s shoulder unassisted. With the home team up 1-0 there seemed to be more creative plays from Detroit. It cost them as they got penalized three times this period in another weirdly officiated game. The Sabres capitalized on one of these extra-man opportunities when Casey Mittelstadt got a pretty rad feed from Jack Eichel before putting in a goal Casey himself would call lucky. Mittelstadt hardly had control of the puck to shoot it and even after shooting it you can see him start to move thinking he had shot it off-frame. It bounced in off the post this time and the home team was up 2-0 on one of their rare powerplay goals.

There would be some drama before the period was out when Ullmark gave up one of these goals that makes me think he’s concussed. The Red Wings were on the powerplay themselves now when Dylan Larkin got the puck and skated around behind the net. It was a classic wrap-around that somehow Ullmark couldn’t stop. He just looked a little too slow and I like to think I’ve watched enough Ullmark in my day to see when he’s off. Simply because of the back-to-back I imagine Carter Hutton plays tomorrow against Winnipeg. With their lead cut in half the Sabres got right back on the horse. The Wings got penalized for a holding call and the Sabres did the incredibly rare feat for them of two powerplay goals in a single game. Kyle Okposo got the puck at the low circle from Ristolainen and wristed in a good old fashion slapper. The goal came 2:15 after Larkin’s goal and you could tell it took some wind out of Detroit’s sails. Even in the third the Red Wings wouldn’t get many great opportunities that didn’t look like a bunch of grown men playing swords in the crease. Andreas Athanasiou somehow single-handedly got two breakaway opportunities in the third. He is a large man to be doing that but nonetheless neither beat Ullmark. There was a couple subplots in this game that were encouraging considering the stage in the season the Sabres are at needing everything they can get from up and down the lineup. For one: Evan Rodrigues and Tage Thompson were having their way with Howard. The two of them completed just about every kind of shot on the visiting goaltender you can do without scoring. E-Rod may be the Sabres January through February MVP if we’re all being honest. That third line looked hot even though they had to drag Vladimir Sabotka around like an anchor. Then there were also the machinations of Zemgus Girgensons and a revitalized Johan Larsson down on the fourth line. In November we touted it as a hard-working fourth line tandem and it’s nice to see how good those two were in this game. At one point Girgensons was practically mounted in the offensive zone. It was penalized but it goes to show how menacing that Latvian maniac can be sometimes. Larry on the other hand I swear will score a goal one of these games with how hard he’s trying. At the end of the afternoon it was a 3-1 victory for the Sabres: a delightful reprieve altogether from the madness of our first real playoff push in half a decade.

The rare back-to-back afternoon homestand weekend for the Sabres as Rob Ray pointed out continues tomorrow afternoon against the Winnipeg Jets. They are not the best candidate to help the Sabres string their first two wins in a row together since December for a couple reasons. For one they are coming off of two losses they surely don’t want a third to follow and secondly… they’re atop the tough Central Division at the moment. Buffalo will have to try and find a way as they’re only two points out of the second wildcard spot being granted a rare late season regulation loss from the Penguins giving them a chance to tie for the spot. It will be an interesting week after tomorrow as they take on both New York teams during the week. I wish I had more intelligent analysis than they need points in some of these games but I never claimed to be an intellectual, eh? I’m tempted to comment on the little offhand swipe Phil Housley took at the GM in the Carolina postgame but do we really need to reinforce this silly hockey culture way of punishing people for saying anything remotely off the reservation? I think every competitive athlete is going to say some frustrated things in a difficult stretch. I certainly don’t fault Reinhart for saying something vaguely correct in the heat of the moment and don’t we have enough reasons to drag Housley through the gutter right now?

You can drag me if you leave a comment. Drop a sarcastic like well you’re at it and share this blog with you friends. I won’t be giving up on these guys until their mathematically eliminated from playoff contention. Even then I will probably be engaged intently and harming my mental health for no good reason. What if they do it? I mean really: what if they do it after the two and a half months they’ve had? Strap into the rollercoaster because it’s well worth the ride considering recent years. I really can’t wait to see if they can pull out two points against Winnipeg. If they do, which they have this season by the way, isn’t that a huge confidence boost for the stretch run? Let’s Go Sabres!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. If by any chance you’re reading this, Chad DeDominicis, know that you make all us bloggers proud when you make a radio hit WGR. You’re the guy on the poster telling us to follow our dreams.

[nsschaintale]

Chain 5: 500 Notes

Tether (limps away as he feels his body slowly breaking apart): My...body is... turning into.... (looks ahead to see Catena waiting for him) Catena...I'm gonna bring you something back. Wait for me...okay? (drops to his knees as he turns into dust) At least...we'll eat together again...you...know... (closes his eyes......

…..then opens them, finding himself in his bed)

Tether found himself in his bed...

In his bed.

Tether: What in the Underground happened?! (climbs out of bed and feels a shock in his chest) Ugh! What... (tugs out his soul and Life Chain; is shock at what he sees) Ah...this is...

Tether spotted a deep cut in his Life Chain and a faint scar on his soul. He left his room and went to his restroom to look in the mirror. He lifted his shirt up and saw some faint chipping on his ribs and sternum diagonally from the top right rib across his sternum to the bottom left rib. He touched the chip on his sternum and winced, seeing a flicker of a vision.

A red-eyed child. A purple-eyed skeleton.

Bones. So many bones.

Knives. They were red.

The chirping of crickets. The silver light.

Explosions. Skulls.

Chains.

Tether's vision became engulfed in chains.

Tether (covers his left eyes): Urgh! What is...going on..?

???: TETHER!

Tether: !!! (shaking) C...Catena.....? (opens the door and peeks outside; sees Catena standing in front of his door) It..is...him. (shuts the door quietly) Shit... I want to see him, but I need to find out what's going on... (gets jolted by knocking) Ah!

Catena: TETHER, ARE YOU IN HERE?

Tether: YEAH, I'LL BE...out in a minute.

Catena: ALL RIGHT! I'LL GO ON AHEAD TO MY FIRST PUZZLE! YOU BETTER GO START ON YOURS SOON!

Tether: All right, bro. (hears Catena walk off and down the stairs) First puzzle? Hmm... Something's... (looks at the door) I need to go there....

Tether left the restroom and returned to his room and got dressed. He went to his dresser and dug through his sock drawer. He felt something metal bump against his finger and pulled out a silver key.

Tether: There you are. (puts the key in his pocket and teleports out of his room and lands outside the house)

The atmosphere of Snowdin town was its usual cheerful splendor, but that cheer wasn't on Tether's conscience. He concentrated on figuring out how he returned to where Catena's alive (as inwardly excited as he was) and how he ended up with his scars. He walked around the house to the back and approached a white door. He inserted the key and open his way in, entering what looks like a small laboratory. To the left, there is a long white table attached to the wall, where it was covered with cork boards, whiteboards, a large flat screen computer monitor with a white keyboard, and papers scattered all over the table and boards. Next to the table was a tall, four drawer filing cabinet, across from it was a tall covered item that was unknown to him, and the opposite wall had a more cleaner table. Tether walked towards the cabinet and opened the top most drawer. Inside it was a series of papers, all chronicled in order inside some folders. Grabbing a folder, Tether decided to look through the papers and see what they show.

Tether (sits on the black rolling chair and sets the folder on the clean table, opening it up to the first page; there were markings, words crossed out, and other scribbles on the pages): Well.. here goes nothing.

Day 1 Since We Left The Underground May 12, 201X

I just got a..journal book thing today. I felt like I should, but I just wanted to write that today, we monsters finally left the Underground! It felt like so long. The scene before us was breathtaking, well, for those with lungs. The sunrise (sunset???) was beautiful, the air was fresh, as Ketju had mentioned, I myself couldn't really describe it. I had to chase after Catena when he took off running, but I was just as excited as he was. I do wonder if Frisk is gonna stay with us or go back to where they came from.

Day 2 Since We Left The Underground May 13, 201X

Hey again. Cats and I went exploring the area. It's a small little town outside of a larger city, it looks like. We've also meet some humans along the way. They were really surprised to see us. Err...maybe “running away screaming” isn't exactly a connection to surprise. Other than that, it wasn't so bad.

Added: Looks like everyone's starting to settle into some places with the help of some humans. These humans are suspiciously nice....

Day 3 Since We Left The Underground May 14, 201X

Turns out Frisk didn't stay with Torquem. I got the news from her in a text. They didn't get to become our ambassador, either. Guess they'd become too embarrassed to work in an embassy as an ambassador. It would have been nice, though. Oh well, it's their decision. Uh oh, Catena's calling me.

Added: We were able to find a place for the both of us to stay. A small two-room apartment. Some kind of peace offering from the humans? Why are these humans nice to us...?

Day 4 Since We Left The Underground May 15, 201X

Catena and I found a car shop in the city today. Cats was so happy, but it turns out we needed something called a driver's license to even drive a vehicle. That drove him nuts. I had to drag him away because he was screeching about it, but he bounced right into his usual mood and decided to try and find the place to learn and earn our licenses. Yes, OUR. I'm getting me a vehicle, too. I just don't know what, though.

Day 5 Since We Left The Underground May 16, 201X

I think I know what I want now. I saw a human riding it today. It was a....motorcycle...I think? Something about it made my soul jump. I had to look up the licenses for that, and it's a motorcycle license. Looks like I'm going to  have to cycle my way to the shop.

Added: We signed up for driving classes. This should be interesting.

I found a motorcycle magazine and saw the one I wanted. As much as I want to, Catena comes first.

Day 8 Since We Left The Underground May 19, 201X

Sorry, I have to study for our driving tests. Man, humans seemed to be real excited at the sight of gold. Their currency must be different from ours.

Added: Some human tried to take something from my bro. I don't think they'll come near us again.

Day 12 Since We Left The Underground May 23, 201X

Taking a break. There's just so much to the traffic rules. But at least there are red stop signs. We both know what to do with them. I mean, Cats and I have attacks that act like stop signs. Blue stop signs. We were also looking for jobs. Well, Catena is. I'm still gonna sell hot dogs.

Added: NEVERMIND, THAT WILL BE SIDE JOB A CLASSON???ASTROPHYSICS??! I FOUND MY DREAM!! HOT DOG!

Day 15 Since We Left The Underground May 26, 201X

Gotta study more. Sorry!

Added: Heard that Ketju and Kusari went on a date today. Haha, looks like Ketju's got her hook, line, and sinker. Hmm...

Day 18 Since We Left The Underground May 29, 201X

Found a calender. Whoa! May 29...201X... Huh...It's been 18 days since we left the Underground... Sure didn't feel like it. Must've miss a clock because time sure flew by quick.

June 5, 201X

Started writing the dates. No real point on writing the other stuff down.

Added: Cats and I are going to take our driving tests. Wish us luck!

Added: Finished our driving tests. Catena did great! As great as he is. Me? I..might need some work. Those turns were kinda iffy. But I did kinda well. We'll be getting our licenses soon.

June 9, 201X

We got our lincenses licenses!

(attached to the page is a photo of Tether and Catena holding their licenses, smiling)

Tether (sighs): All that work... (flips through a few pages, mostly about Frisk visiting everyone, then stops on a page) Hmm...

June 15, 201X

Haven't heard much from Frisk lately. Catena tried calling them, but nothing. Just a voicemail. He tried getting up with them on this new social media site Kusari created: Under Net 2, but nothing. I'm getting worried.

June 18, 201X

Signed up for an online class. I had to send info..? Wonder what they'd say if they knew I was a skeleton. That'll get their bones rattled. I will take that astrophysics class, but I have to do all this other stuff first. Summer classes, it looks like. Guess we'll see how humans view the world...if not us. Already had to avoid a few humans lately.

Added: Got Catena his dream car. He loves it! Just look at that smile!

(attached is a picture of Catena hugging a orange sports car)

Tether: Heh. He really loved that car... (turns over a few pages)

June 25, 201X

Holy shit, I almost forgot to write here?? Been busy studying and working. Yeah, I'm doing my usual hot dog vendor business. Had to get a permit, though. Man, this is the most I've ever done in my life. I think... Anyway, online courses are going good, took my sweet new motorcycle out for a spin. Check it out. Also, I heard Frisk came over to see Torquem at her school! Well, she's just a teacher there, but still. Cats and I got a chance to see them. I'm glad they're okay.

(attached is a photo of a blue and purple motorcycle)

Tether: Whoa, I had that? Sweet. (skims through some pages of mindless writings and Frisk's visits then stops on a page labeled June 30, 201X) Hmm...?

June 30, 201X

Torquem called me today. She said she saw Frisk. They didn't look too well, it seems. She did say that they left to go back to where they came from. Where, to their family? Their old life? I've always wondered why they fell into Mount Ebott anyway... It was their choice, but... I can't help but feel like something's up.

July 1, 201X

Kusari contacted me about Frisk. Apparently, they found Under Net 2, and posted something odd. I don't have an Under Net 2 account, though. Catena does, I'll ask him about it.

Added: “Everything is okay” “Red eyes” “It's coming” ….Frisk, what does that mean???

July 2, 201X

Catena told me that Ketju called him. We're all trying to figure out what Frisk meant by those words. We only knew a few monsters that have red eyes, but everything else... nothing. This is getting weird....

July 3, 201X

We decided to go look for Frisk. We don't know if they're in the town or the city. If they're in the city, I doubt we'd get far. From what I've seen, not every human is very welcoming to our presence there...

July 5, 201X

I SAW FRISK. They were with two taller humans. I assume they must be their family. But.....well, I did try to approach them, but the two taller ones shooed me away. Catena had even less luck. Did Frisk's less-frequent visits have something to do with them? I didn't mention this before in these notes, but I could have sworn I saw a bruise on their neck...?

Added: I caught a glimpse of their Soul. It's not a bright as it used to be. Where did some of their DETERMINATION go...?

Tether: Is this.... (turns to the next page) Ah...

July 6, 201X

I got a strange call from Frisk tonight. They sounded kinda rattled. It's ratting my bones, too... They apologized for leaving us and told me to live. What does that mean? Did something happen? I'll ask them in the morning. Good night.

Tether (lays the stack of papers back in the folder and sits back in his chair, sighing): We didn't even stay on the surface for that long. Eight weeks... I knew it. But I forgot all this time.. (looks at the folder) That's all..hmm? (picks up a paper with mostly illegible writing on it) What's.... Ah!

On the page, a date was scratched out: July 7 201X. He could barely see what was under the black pen that was written with, but most of the words shown were-

July 7, 201X RESET 1

I was going to NONONONONONONONOWHYWHYNONONWHYWHYWHY WHY IS IT SNOWING! NONONONONONO IT WAS SUMMER WHYNO WHAT HAPPENED?! WHYWHYNONONONO

Added: this is where it started. everything ended here.

Tether (stares at the word after the crossed-out date): ...Reset...Is that it? (looks after the page, but there was nothing) The other folders.

Tether got up and rushed over to the cabinet. Sure enough, there were several folders labeled “RESETS”, all numbered in order. He grabbed the first folder labeled RESETS 1-50 and sat back down.

Tether: 1 through 50? It's been that many...? (fingers frozen over the corner of the folder) Ah..ah...this is...bone-chilling... (opens the folder and starts reading)

RESET 1 – continued

I don't understand. One moment, I was feeling the warm sun on my bones, the next I'm feeling chills. What happened? I asked Catena about it, but he didn't remember us being on the surface. Why? I told him it wasn't a dream... Because of the reset. No memory.

Added: Sorry, had to go to my “station”. Besides my real one. I visited the lady behind the double doors today...? I knocked on the door a few times, but nobody came...

Her name is Torquem.

RESET 2

I went to my station today. More like visited the lady again. Cats doesn't know, does he? Heh heh. Maybe?

Torquem

Added: He doesn't.

RESET 3

I went to my station today. More like visited... Why does it feel like I wrote this page before? Reset, that's why.

RESET 4

I went to my station today. I should go visit her today. ….Her who..? Torquem.

RESET 5

I went to my...... hang on. Why do this pages keep saying “I went to my station today” without finishing the page? Was I supposed to go visit someone..? The Resets are causing a repeat in time. Whatever it is causing this, I need to figure this out.

RESET 6

I went... Stop it! What's going on?!

RESET 7

I'm not writing it down this time!

RESET 8

NOPE.

RESET 9

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???

RESET 10

THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.

RESET 11

CATENA, I KNOW I HAVE TO GO TO MY STATION, OKAY?! He gave me a strange look. I didn't mean to yell at him. I just... Only I remembered?

RESET 12

NO.

RESET 13

NO. unlucky number 13...

RESET 14

WHY.

Tether (sifts through the rest of the pages until he reaches RESET 45; most of the pages showed “SAVE HER” on them): My gods, why is this....

RESET 45

I heard a scream from behind the doors. Is it her..? Did something happen?

RESET 46

what's happening to her?

RESET 47

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HER?

RESET 48

I don't have any shortcuts made for this place, I can't get in!!

RESET 49

I CAN'T GET IN!!

RESET 50

it's quiet

Tether (shaking hard): Torquem... I..couldn't save her...? (drops the page and covers his face with his hands) I need some fuel...

Tether left his lab, and ventured out towards his station near the woods. He was halfway there before seeing Catena building his first puzzle, the electric maze.

Tether: Hey...uh, Catena.

Catena: MORNING, TETHER! I'M ALMOST DONE WITH MY PUZZLE. IT JUST NEEDS A FEW ADJUSTMENTS AND IT'LL BE DONE! HOW'S YOURS COM- (looks surprised) TETHER, ARE YOU OKAY?

Tether: Huh? Why do you ask, bro?

Catena: DID YOU HAVE ANOTHER NIGHTMARE? YOUR EYE SOCKETS GOT TEARS COMING OUT OF THEM.

Tether: W-What? (wipes his sleeve over his face and sees wet smears and spots on it) Uh, I..uh..(smirks)...read something that was real tear-jerker, is all. Not something to tear up over, really. A real crying shame, though.

Catena: TETHER, THAT'S-

Tether: Hey, I'd love to stay and chat, but I got my puzzle to recalibrate. (starts walking off)

Catena: OH! WHAT KIND OF PUZZLE IS IT? CAN I SEE IT!?

Tether (stops): ….I would show it to you...but... (glances back) Sorry, Cats. This is a personal puzzle I gotta recalibrate myself. (walks off) Maybe some day. When everything gets back on track....

Catena: …...

Tether made it to his station and dug out his large bottle of grape juice. He took a glance down the forest at the ruin doors and starting trembling.

Tether: …....M-Must be the cold. No, those notes... She's probably... (teleports away to his station in Waterfall) Where are they... (grabs his bagged stash of potato chips) Here. (teleports back to his room and grab a large bag of chips) Ready. (teleports back to the door of his lab) Going in... (re-enters his lab, grabs the second folder labeled “RESETS 51-100”) Here we go again.

Tether spent the next few hours going through five folders of RESET chronicles, as he decided to call them. The RESET 51-100 folder had events that led up to him seeing Frisk.

RESET 100

I saw Frisk. I wanted to ask them about what happened. But these rewind feelings keep making me forget. They also seem...different? They don't have that pleasant feeling around them... There's something...dark... The rewind feelings are moments when the Resets occur.

Tether: …. (closes the folder then moves it over to pick up the next folder, RESET 101-151; hands start to shake) This is....

RESET 101

I watched Frisk go through Catena's puzzles. Like, literally. They didn't even bother doing them. What gives? I thought they liked doing his puzzles. Did they?

RESET 102

I watched Frisk go through... No, it's happening again. These feelings... I need to concentrate. Catena's about to tell them how to do the puzzle.

RESET 103

I watched. Just that. I watched them. Something's wrong with them. Frisk wasn't like this before.

RESET 104

I watched Frisk go through Catena's puzzles. Weird. They're doing them this time. This time? What was different? I don't remember, but it feels like it. Memory relapse here?

RESET 105

I watched Frisk do Catena's puzzle. Huh. They're doing them. Good on them.

RESET 106

I've been hearing some odd screaming lately. I went to investigate before meeting Catena, but there was nothing out of the ordinary.

RESET 107

More screaming. Where are they coming from? The monsters...

Tether: ….. (turns to the next few pages that mentioned screams)

RESET 110

I met Frisk today. I thought I could surprise them with my “whoopie cushion in the hand” trick. It's always funny. But..I guess not for them...? Loss of emotion. What contributes to it?

RESET 111

Seems like I tried again. Nothing.

Tether (flips through more pages): Just me trying to get a laugh out of Frisk and watching them skip Cats's puzzles. They had a nice one... (stops) Huh..?

RESET 124

I tried to talk to Frisk today, but they wouldn't answer my questions. All they said was “Soon”. Soon what? Was something going to happen soon? Is this referring to the Resets..?

RESET 125

I noticed something on my hand that I didn't before. I figured it was snow. But it was odd. They just came out of the ruins with white stuff on them. It was dust.

Tether: …. Dust. They killed monsters in the ruins....

RESET 126

I noticed more weird white stuff on the snow. Well, the entire area is covered in snow. So, it's snow different than normal snow, right? Plus, it's pretty quiet.... Too quiet... The monsters in the snow fields were dead.

RESET 128

I think I missed something...

RESET 129

I discovered Greater Dog's Pomerdagger. He wouldn't just leave something like this around. What's going on?

RESET 130

Frisk did it again, walking through Catena's puzzles. This is really upsetting. I need to do something. Decided to help Catena with his last puzzle.

RESET 131

I was told by Victoria, the shopkeeper in Snowdin, that there are evacuation going on. Apparently, a human was killing monsters. But that can't be right. It is Frisk.

Tether: …... (skips a few pages nervously) I...

RESET 134

Catena told me he was going to meet the human. I feel like that's a bad idea. I tried to tell him, but he insisted that he can help Frisk change their ways. I guess if it's Catena, it's okay.

Tether (trembling): …... (turns to the next page and sees the page covered in wet spots and the repeated words were..)

RESET 135

CATENA'S DEAD. CATENA'S DEAD CATENA'S DEAD CATENA'S DEAD

RESET 136

FRISK KILLED CATENA.

RESET 137

FRISK KILLED CATENA

RESET 138

FRISK KILLED CATENA

Tether found that ninety pages only showed “FRISK KILLED CATENA”, half of which had wet spots and most of them were written in a progressively angry manner as each page increased. A few of them even had tiny words, asking and begging Frisk to stop killing his baby brother.

RESET 166

FRISK KILLED CATENA please frisk stop killing him killing my baby brother stop it please

RESET 167

FRISK KILLED CATENA please I beg of you stop killing Catena please stop

RESET 178

FRISK KILLED CATENA take me i'm not worth this life catena did nothing wrong please

RESET 190

FRISK KILLED CATENA TAKE ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!

It ceased when he moved to the RESET 200-250 folder. The entire page of RESET page 228 had the words:

RESET 228

FRISK MUST DIE.

Tether: …..

Tether didn't say or do anything else for the rest of the hour. He sat there with his hands on his face and wept. Having to read those pages and remembering how he felt during those times. The fear. The tears. The begging. The dust. This was the point where Tether felt he lost hope. And realizing now that Catena is alive this time made it all worse. There had to be something that could be done. After finishing his crying and downing a few gulps of his juice, he went back to studying the notes. He resumed reading the notes and found that the rest of the notes in the current folder just showed “FRISK MUST DIE”. But there were a few pages that started mentioning the appearance of some kinks in his Life Chain.

RESET 237

FRISK MUST DIE I noticed something on my Life Chain this morning. It's been bothering me all night. Is that...a cut? Where did I get it?

Tether: Is this..?

RESET 238

FRISK MUST DIE I found another one. I don't get what's happening.

RESET 239

FRISK MUST DIE I found another one. This one's small.

RESET 240

FRISK MUST DIE I needed to check Catena's Life Chain. I'll do it after mine.

RESET 241

FRISK MUST DIE OH NO. The Life Chain around his neck is almost severed.

Tether (notices some scratch marks on a few remaining pages): What are these? It stops after 250. (collects the pages and returns them to the folder; picks up the next folder, RESETS 251-300, and sits back down) When did I start getting kinks in my Chain? (opens the folder and reads)

RESET 251

Sorry, I've been fixing Catena's Life Chain. It was getting worse. Why haven't I noticed this before? Is something hitting us? I believe it has something to do with Frisk's attacks and the Resets. They're doing something to us that is weakening our Life Chains to the point where it's easier for them to severe them.

Tether: ...But then... how did I get a massive gash in my... wait. Didn't I...fight Frisk last time...?

RESET 252

I've started to use Chain Maintenance as an excuse to keep Catena from seeing Frisk. He doesn't suspect a thing.

RESET 253

It's going better than I thought. Plus, I think it's been a while since we really sat down and spent time with each other.

RESET 254

We started talking about the puzzles and the human. Catena really wants to go meet the human. I can't let him...

RESET 255

Catena's getting restless. I need to keep him busy.

RESET 256

I decided to try doing the maintenance longer. It's slowly working.

RESET 257

Oh no, Catena left without me checking him!!

RESET 258

I CAN'T FIND HIM.

RESET 259

Frisk found us.

RESET 260

Catena thought I was having a nightmare. Yeah, a never-ending nightmare about some kid killing you.

RESET 261

I was finding myself blacking out while standing. It was weird. Was I falling asleep? It was the Resets. It seems to be affecting my body in some way. Can't pinpoint the exact effect, but it's causing me to have blackouts.

RESET 262

I met up with Frisk again. I've...become scared of them. I don't know why, but I'm terrified of them.

RESET 263

I tried asking Frisk about what they said to me earlier today. I also told them that I heard screaming. Of course, they didn't answer.

RESET 264

I confronted Frisk after Catena's bridge trap attempt failed.  I grabbed them, but....

RESET 265

I REMEMBERED. There was dust everywhere. Monster dust. Catena's death, a child's smile. Frisk killed Catena.

RESET 266

Catena offered to let me come with him to talk to the human. I didn't want to go.

RESET 267

Frisk found us. I have already stated this on RESET page 259. This was not the first time?

RESET 268

I tried to get Catena to stay at home and meet with the human, but they weren't at where Catena stays at before Waterfall.

RESET 269

FUCK ME, I LEFT CATENA ALO

Tether found this page to be a little stiffer than the others.

RESET 270

i'm so tired

RESET 271

so tired

RESET 272

tired

RESET 273

I'M BACK AT MY STATION BY THE RUINS HOW I don't understand, how did I get back here? Uh oh, the doors are opening. I found that page 269 outside somehow?

RESET 274

Frisk looks different. They didn't have that stuff on them. No dust this time?? Why?

RESET 275

Frisk looks different. They didn't have that stuff on them. I've been watching them and they were doing Catena's puzzles! This is great! So I really did have just plain old nightmares. Catena's going to have his battle with Frisk. I hope it goes well. I'm hungry. I'm gonna go to Grillby's.                  ^Lies.

Added: Back from Grillby's. Gonna go check to see how Catena and Frisk are doing.

Added: Looks like things are going

RESET 276

NO

Tether: ….I think I remember this. This was the point where Frisk started to....torment me with Catena's death.

He skips through the rest of the pages that just says “NO” with the occasional “HOW COULD THEY?” and “STOP”. The last few pages he read were different, though.

RESET 297

I begged Frisk to stop killing Catena, but they didn't listen. It was like they didn't even hear me. But they told me “No escape”. No escape from what? This hell they're putting me through, if it even is them? Why is this happening?

RESET 298

I tried to convince Frisk to stop, but it didn't work. That's it. I'm going to drag Catena from the area and take him to the evacuation site if it's the last thing I do. The next time I black out and wake up, I'm going to do it if I remember.

Added: They kept going.

RESET 299

catena never came back

RESET 300

why

Tether sat in his chair, staring at the previous page. He was growing tired of looking through the pages and decided to take a break and see Catena. He closed the folder and put it away before leaving the lab and teleporting to where he'd find his brother. He was so bothered by the last two pages, he missed the final words of RESET page 300:

RESET 300

why

Added: I have a plan.  

CONTINUE?