Confession of a Meetup-holic
What is Meetup?
Meetup.com is a website. According to Wikipedia, it is found in 2002. At 2002, I still lived in China. Little did I know that I would move to Toronto. Little did I know that a website would change my life. Meetup site has been around for a while, however, it has just entered my life just this year and has become an important part of my life. Actually, it is probably the only source of joy of my life.
Meetup-Holic
Yes. I am a meetup-holic. I started to actively attend meetups since around March. To date, I have over 195 RSVPs. I would definitely reach 200 RSVPs by the end of this year.
(My meetup profile page)
I am super active, according to everyone.
I am out almost every weekend. I remember one weekend, I got no meetups coming up and I started to panic.
I have been to Don Valley Trail at least 5 times; Tommy Thomson Park at least 4 times; Humber River Trail at least 3 times, Ashbridge Bay at least 3 times, High Park 2 times. I have done hiking countless times; biking countless times; archery tag 2 times. I have been all over the Toronto.
I used to stay home for the weekends and would never travel anywhere that is outside the downtown core. I have never realized how big the Toronto is, and also how busy and eventful Toronto is.
(Picture of me at a urban-hiking meetup event, location: Don Valley Trail)
I am addictive to meetup and I got no shame of it.
My Journey
I don’t even remember, but somehow I created my meetup account way back on November 27, 2013. However, I only started to come to meetups in winter of 2015.
I found out about meetup through word of mouth. My colleague added me as +1 for his hiking meetup.
My first meetup is to hike around 20 km on Bruce Trail. I was a bit scared about both physical and social part of the event. I had to go to a middle of nowhere, meet around 20 strangers in the beginning of winter.
Hiking was new to me and socializing was also new to me. It turned out I was pretty good at hiking that I hiked 20 km without any problem. It also turned out that I am as bad at socializing as I thought. People at that event were super friendly.
(Picture I took at my first meetup)
I had a great time. After that, I unleash myself to the wild. Now I am a member of 40 meetup groups. I had tried hiking, skiing, and many other things I also wanted to do and never did before.
Good, Bad and Juicy
What is so good about the meetup? It heals from my lonely soul.
What is bad about the meetup? You got to meet some interesting people (interesting in both good and bad ways).
Like any other communities that are made of people, and people get into conflicts.
I was banned from a meetup group with no particular reason because of conflicts between groups.
Originally I don’t know understand why there are conflicts between different meetup groups. Because meetup events are free to attend. People don’t make money out of it. What could you possibly get conflicts with?
The 2 things I could think of are power and girls (or guys).
Here comes the juicy part.
I remember when I first joined the meetup, I did not understand why people organize events. Because organizers put a lot of time and energy into the events, they don’t make money, what could they possibly get out of it?
I remembered asking that question to the founder of one meetup group, and his answer is somewhat grand and abstract, something like “world peace”.
Now I am an organizer myself. My answer is that as a lonely soul myself, I want to drag other lonely souls with me. I found an interesting event or a good deal, why not share with other people? There is something I want to do, why not create an event for it?
The purpose of the meetup is for a group of people with common interests to meet. However, sometimes, the ego of organizers started to kick in. Events become a competition of how many people signed up to my events rather than yours.
This is the power conflict among people. Of course, the real juicy part comes from the girls (or guys) conflict.
At meetup, a lot of people have their hidden agenda. There are many examples that couples met at a meetup event. However, many meetups have the code of conducts or policies. So, it is really hard to draw the line.
After being in the meetup community long enough, I start to hear stories, rumors and gossips about different meetup members. When there are people, they are always rumors. It feels like high school again.
As an organizer, I am a bit mad that some people misbehaved at my events, because I spent a lot of time and energy to organize an event, and my event is not a playground for you to pick up girls (or guys).
So here are the good, bad and juicy parts of the meetup. In general, the meetup is a community filled with people. It feels good to be a part of a community.
$$$
Unlike other topics, money is a sensitive subject.
Most meetup events I attended are free. Most organizers just organize meetup events for fun, and they don’t make money out of it.
Of course, there are exceptions.
When I first started to do meetups, I went to an event that organizers ask me for a year membership fee right before the event. That time I was new so I paid. Now I probably just walk away. That event was just a urban hike where I don’t think the organizers put much effort into it. It was the first and last event with that group. Nevertheless, there are so many meetup groups out there that does not charge anything.
I heard other stories as well that organizers charge members “meetup fee” for very effortless events. Some people really turn meetup into a career.
I attended some meetups that involves a lot of organizing efforts, for example, out-of-city road trip. I don’t mind pay the organizers some fee or treat them for a meal.
However, for some events, you could smell that organizers are making money out of it. Now being the community long enough, I know just to avoid them.
Meetup Business Model
In order to have a group in meeup.com, the group owners need to pay meetup site a monthly / annually fee to keep the group active (according to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meetup_(website), $15 USD/month). There are 2 business model I observed that group owners would do:
Charge members money
Get sponsorship
Pay the fee out of own pocket
Which way is better? Of course the 2nd way would be win-win for both group owners and members. However, it is also the hardest. The group needs to have a large number of members and it also has to be active and noticeable.
I don’t want the group owners to lose money; however, I don’t think charge members money is right.
My Own Budget
Of course, like all socializing events, I need to spend money as well. After events, we usually eat together. It is a good way to get to know people who are at the events.
I don’t even remember how many times I have eaton at Congee Queen this year. I don’t like to eat out that much because it ruins my diet and budget.
Now before the meetup events, I usually skip my meals. Sometimes I don’t really want to eat, but I don’t want to miss out the socializing aspect of the events.
So it is hard to balance my budget (and diet) with meetup sometimes.
In summary, I guess meetup is just a mini society, money and power are unavoidable subjects.
Event or People
Is meeting people more important than the event? In my opinion, yes.
I remember one meetup has this policy that I can not put a real picture of myself as the profile picture because organizers want to people focus on the events.
However, I am guilty of signing up to some events because I saw a lot of people were going or someone I knew that was going.
I like hiking, skiing, skating and all other meetup activities, but I like to meet people more and doing these activities with interesting people.
(Picture of me at a skating meetup)
To me, at then end of the day, it does not matter where I went or what views I saw, but rather the people I did event with , that is the part would make an event memorable.
Meeting New People and Saying Goodbyes
The best part of the meetup is that I am constantly meeting new people and making new friends.
The number of my Facebook friends increase dramatically this year. I have made so many good friends this year.
However, just like life, people come and go. I need to say good-byes to people after the events are over; I need to say goodbyes to people that are leaving meetup.
Most goodbyes are silent, meaning someone I meet at one meetup may never come out again. Or sometimes, regular members would stop coming out. People’s priorities change over time.
Of course, the painful ones are the good-byes announced beforehand and said out aloud. I remembered when the founder of a meetup was leaving Toronto, we had this huge farewell event. Yes, we all had fun at the event, but it did feel sad.
There are some members who keep meetup very separate from their real life. For example, they don’t use their real names at meetup. Often times, when I meet new people at meetup, I don’t grow too attached because I don’t know whether I would see them again.
Do I have a life outside meetup? No. However, I do consider meetup as a “surreal” world of my life. However, the people from meetup would become your friends, then things switch back to the real world.
Basically, people come and leave at meetup all the time. However, when my friends decide to leave meetup, it feels like a graduation.
Then this idea strikes me, at some time in the future, I might need to say goodbye to the meetup as well. There are so many “retired” members I have met. They got other priorities or they got tired from meetups.
Does that mean I would retire eventually? Even though I don’t want to, but I know I can’t stay this active forever.
I need to say good-byes to the meetup someday, but before that, I would keep enjoying every moment of it.
More Lonely or Less Lonely
As I said, I joined meetup to heal my lonely soul. Nevertheless, there is always a strange feeling of loneliness when a meetup event is over.
I remembered after a two-day road trip meetup was over, I needed to take the subway home all the way to Union station. People started to get off one by one. Then I was the only one left on the subway. Suddenly, the world became so quiet. After spent two days with over 10 people and chitchatted non-stopping all the way, it took me some time to adjust.
There is always this “the world has become so quiet” moment after every meetup, especially those long events. The moment felt like the dark sky when the fireworks were over.
(Picture I took on Canada Day during a meetup, location: Harbourfront)
I started to think “at the end of the day, I am still all by myself.” Then a song started to sing in my head.
All by myself
Don’t want to be, all by myself anymore
Then another idea started to strike me: does it mean I can’t be alone anymore? I have met some other meetup-holics. Am I the person who is constantly out because I don’t want to be home alone?
That sounds very pathetic, but who cares? I have not been this happy for a long time. My calendar was booked for next 3 weekends. I have been out almost every weekend since summer.
Now I am done school and I am not too crazy about work, I got all this time, why not utilize it to its fullest?
I would probably keep being this active until I found my new career goal or new priority.
There is a big world out there, there is so much to see and so much to do.
Tips
Last not least, some tips for the folks who want to try meetup out:
Most meetup events are FREE. There are some hiking or skiing events that ask for $2 fee, but most events are free to attend. Do not join any meetup groups that ask you for yearly membership fee. Meetup is and should be non-profitable.
Event organizers spent a lot of time and energy to organize events, so show your respect. Read the description, show up if you RSVP yes, and be nice.
Have fun!
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