Tenipuri Complete Character Profile - Kunimitsu Tezuka
[PROFILE]
Birthday: October 7th (Libra)
Blood Type: O
Relatives: Grandfather (Kunikazu Tezuka), Father (Kuniharu Tezuka), Mother (Ayana Tezuka)
Father’s Occupation: Company Employee (trading company, his grandfather was a judo instructor for the police force)
Elementary School: Seishundai First Elementary School
Middle School: Seishun Academy Junior High School
Grade & Class: Third Year | Class 3-1 | Seat 12
Club: Tennis Club (Captain)
Committee: Student Council (President)
Strong Subjects: World History
Weak Subjects: None
Frequently Visited Spot at School: Library
World Cup Team: U-17 World Cup German Representatives
Favorite Motto: “The enemy is within oneself.”
Daily Routines: Writing in his diary
Hobbies: Mountain climbing, camping, fishing
Favorite Color: Green or Blue
Favorite Music: Classical (Beethoven)
Favorite Movie: Famous classics whether Japanese or foreign
Favorite Book: Foreign books ➜ German-Japanese dictionary (he carries it around with him) [23.5]
Favorite Food: Unacha (broiled eel over rice with dashi poured over it), räucheraal (German smoked eel) [23.5]
Favorite Anniversary: August 23rd
Preferred Type: A girl who tries her best in everything (even if she’s a bit scatterbrained), a serious but cheerful person [PP] ➜ He tries not to think about it now [23.5]
Ideal Date Spot: Fishing in a stream near a mountain ➜ Zugspitze [23.5]
His Gift for a Special Person: A letter of gratitude
Where He Wants to Travel: Machu Picchu and Huayna Picchu
What He Wants Most Right Now: A photobook of famous mountains across the world ➜ Mountain diorama kit [23.5]
Dislikes: Laziness, colorful cakes [23.5]
Skills Outside of Tennis: Woodworking, preparing fish [23.5]
Spends Allowance On: Books
Routine During the World Cup: Keeping a diary in German, watching foreign comedy dramas
[DATA]
Height: 179cm
Weight: 58kg ➜ 61kg [23.5]
Shoe Size: 27.5cm
Dominant Arm: Left
Vision: (With glasses) 1.5 Left & Right
Play Style: All-Rounder
Signature Moves: Drop Shot, Zero-Shiki Drop Shot, Selfless State, Pinnacle of Hard Work, Pinnacle of Great Wisdom, Pinnacle of Perfection [23.5], Tezuka Zone, Tezuka Phantom, Zero-Shiki Serve
Number of Laps He Runs in a Year: 5,870
Favorite Brands:
Racket: MIZUNO (PRO LIGHT S90) MAGNETIC TOUR 100
Shoes: MIZUNO (WAVE DUAL LIGHT <6K93009>)
Fitness Test Results:
Side Steps: 63
Shuttle Run: 121
Back Strength: 131kg
Grip Strength: 55.5kg (left)
Backbend: 60.8cm
Seated Forward Bend: 29.1cm
50m Run: 6.43 seconds
Standing Long Jump: 241cm
Handball Throw: 37.1m
Endurance Run (1500m): 4:39
Overall Rating: Speed: 4.5 / Power: 4 / Stamina: 4 / Mental: 5 / Technique: 6 / Total: 23.5
Kurobe Memo: “I obviously intended for him to thrive as a First Stringer, but unfortunately he withdrew. It’s only a matter of time before he reaches the top level of the professional ranks.” [RB]
[POSSESSIONS]
What’s in His Bedroom [10.5]:
Lure collection // A collection of lures neatly arranged hanging on his wall, he likes using his lures as decorations
Photo of a mountain he’s climbed // He had it printed extra large and hung it on his wall. Seeing it calms him
Small locker // A locker for storing his fishing rods and equipment. The doors are glass so the contents can always be viewed
Dresser // He always has his school uniforms neatly folded and placed on top
Bookshelves and a boombox // His only objects of entertainment, he has a considerable amount of books in his possession
What’s in His Bag [10.5]:
Glasses case // He is protective over his glasses and handles them with care
Notebook // He writes an extensive amount of notes for each of his classes and keeps it with him for review
Omamori // He’s kept it with him since he was little. He’s not a religious person, so it’s kept more out of habit
A (foreign) novel // The Big Bad City by Ed McBain. He likes foreign stories and reads them often since they help him learn English
Reference book // He reads it on the bus to and from school
Wristband // He has several different kinds and changes them each day depending on his mood
English-Japanese dictionary // Used to look up words he doesn’t understand when reading foreign books
Spray-on deodorant // Gatsby brand. He hates uncleanliness and always uses it after sweating in matches. He buys five bottles a month
What’s in His Travel Bag [23.5]:
Japanese tea // Siegfried had snuck into his bag and tried some of it
[TRIVIA]
The Prince of Tennis 10.5 Fanbook | Publication Date: 11/02/2001
He likes outdoor activities since they help relieve his stress. He feels that nature heals him
He is actually always tense and nervous about guiding the club members
His favorite mountain is the Matterhorn. His father had taken him to climb it when he was a fourth year in elementary school
He is described to have sharp and fine facial features
Since entering middle school, he has not lost in any official or practice matches
No one else in the Seigaku Tennis Club matches his level
He has trouble looking upward to the right since his hair blocks his view
He gives very terse responses when asked personal questions
He dislikes flirtatious girls and prefers someone as serious as himself. He is currently not interested in romance, however
Despite how skilled he currently is as a player, he was not good at tennis when he first started
When asked if he’s afraid of anything, his reponse is that people cannot grow if they don’t have fears
He is the only member of Seigaku who does not call any of the other members by their nicknames
Konomi states that the editorial staff like to uphold Tezuka’s serious and stoic image despite what he thinks
His personality is described as someone who thinks before he acts and is so perfect that even his friends envy him
His name and appearance is based off of Kunikaze Tezuka, a character in Konomi’s other manga series COOL
Konomi describes him as “strong overall” and considered number one. He had been created since at the time, it was rare to see a character much stronger than the protagonist be on the same team
He and Momoshiro were the first Seigaku members Konomi had created
The Prince of Tennis 20.5 Fanbook | Publication Date: 12/04/2003
It is stated that in a previous life, he was an explorer. He is described to have never stayed in the same place, and always moved forward with a desire to improve. He had lived in extreme situations where failure meant death, and was said to be calm, collected and always prepared for every possible situation
He has always been somewhat mature and sensitive to beautiful things since he was younger
He is very self-disciplined, independent and has a personal set of rules for himself
He is described to be suited for professions such as starting his own business by himself or being a novelist
He is an honors student
His secondary sport would be kyudo
He is the character Konomi would like to go up against if he were in the series
His injury and departure was to initiate Seigaku’s growth without him. Since he was their strongest member and final trump card, Konomi felt that there was no sense of urgency in them losing and wanted to emphasize the whole team’s changes by the time he returned
The Prince of Tennis 40.5 Fanbook | Publication Date: 12/04/2007
He writes in his diary to record his daily efforts as well as take time to analyze himself. It is a custom he’s set to identify his weaknesses and continuously improve himself
His I Ching Hexagrams are 1. Qián and 13. Tóng Rén respectively
He often makes (unnoticed) efforts in order to facilitate his relationships, such as forcing himself to socialize and/or subtly trying to lighten the mood of situations
He actually has a side to him that gets lonely easily and dislikes being in dark places
He has surprisingly gotten into comedy programs. He’s recently been watching “The Battle of Big Eaters” and actually really enjoyed the “Yakiniku Battle” in Genius 341
He is currently unsure who will be the next captain (it is eventually revealed to be Kaidoh)
He is the second character Konomi has the least in common with, the first being Ryoma
Konomi states he would like to form a doubles pair with him and be able to perform his Tezuka Zone and Tezuka Phantom
Konomi had wanted to depict Tezuka having great difficulty during his match against Kabaji
He is described to “not do doubles” by Konomi, which is why he had played one-on-one against Chitose during their doubles match. However, Konomi states he may team up with Ryoma in Wimbledon someday
Konomi states Tezuka will most likely be seen in Germany sometime in the future
The Prince of Tennis II Official Character Guide: PairPuri Vol. 1 | Publication Date: 11/04/2009
Mizuki claims to have seen him smiling while writing in his diary
The Prince of Tennis II Official Character Guide: PairPuri Vol. 2 | Publication Date: 12/04/2009
When asked what he pays attention to when leading the club, he replies with everything, but self-management and discipline being a top priority
He finds being captain to be difficult, but believes the club members would be fine without him
He finds nature healing but also enjoys the interactions he receives when mountain climbing
He does not believe in having a full day off but states if he had one, he would read in his bedroom or go fishing with his grandfather now and then
When asked about his special skill, woodworking, he states it’s come in handy when making racket racks
He is described as being a “leader” type captain
His keyword for leading the club is “discipline”
When an issue arises in the club, he writes about it in his diary and seeks solutions
Currently what weighs on his mind the most is instilling talent and confidence in the first years
He finds members who are talented but don’t show passion are the most difficult to handle
He would like a computer, projector or humidifier for the club room
If he were able take all of the club members on a trip, it would be to Mount Fuji
His favorite sports besides tennis are fishing, skiing and mountain climbing
The people he holds in the highest regard are his father and grandfather
When asked about the story behind his family name, he refuses to answer and states it’s a personal matter between him and his family
He is unsure if he’s good at cooking, but states he tries to do what he can. A dish he is able to make is eel kabayaki
His favorite drink is water/mineral water
He prefers rice over bread
When asked about the possibility of a past life, he replies that the concept is not scientifically proven and therefore is unable to answer
When asked if uses a hair dryer, he replies he does not
He gets confused and slightly irritated after being asked irrelevant questions in his interview
Since meeting Kawamura’s father, the latter often compares his son to him
Kikumaru has agreed that he does not look the same age as the others
Konomi had him wear glasses to give him the image of a perfect and disciplined man
His catchphrase “don’t let your guard down” was created to give him the image that he’s humble and tough on himself, especially during his serves
Tezuka’s special moves were created to express his power to dominate the court
Konomi states that when he draws him, he is careful to add in a touch of warmth within his strictness
One of His School Days:
5:30am - Wakes up, has breakfast after stretching and strength training
6:30am - Listens to an English lesson on the radio
8:40am - 1st Period: Social Studies (world history)
9:40am - 2nd Period: Calligraphy
11:00am - 3rd Period: Math III
12:00pm - 4th Period: Music (classical lesson)
12:50pm - Lunch, unacha (bento)
1:20pm - 5th Period: PE (hurdles)
2:20pm - 6th Period: Science III (physics)
3:20pm - Summarizes a Student Council proposal report
4:00pm - Club activities, free practice
7:00pm - Returns home, bathes
7:30pm - Dinner
8:00pm - Watches a recording of “The Battle of Big Eaters” on the TV
9:00pm - Reads (mostly foreign books)
9:30pm - Writes in his diary, reflects on himself and the day
10:30pm - Goes to bed
The Prince of Tennis II Official Character Guide: PairPuri Vol. 5 | Publication Date: 03/04/2010
He is shown holding back laughter after watching Koharu and Amane’s comedy skit
The Prince of Tennis II Official Character Guide: PairPuri Vol. 6 | Publication Date: 06/03/2011
He, Fuji and Kikumaru are shown having a chat with Yamato
The Prince of Tennis II 10.5 Fanbook | Publication Date: 09/04/2013
He can speak German
He recently bought a new pair of climbing boots and is wondering which mountain to climb next
Konomi states he will still be prevalent in the series despite moving to Germany
The Prince of Tennis II 23.5 Fanbook | Publication Date: 05/02/2018
Franksteiner helps teach him German
He is well-accepted by most of the German team, has a strong sense of camaraderie and wants to lead them to victory
He had intended to become a professional since he was seven years old
He had gotten into tennis when his father gifted him a racket when he was younger
Konomi states he is not the type to do any club activities half-heartedly
The Prince of Tennis 20th Anniversary Book: Tenipuri Party | Publication Date: 08/02/2019
He was initially hesitant about joining team Germany, but ultimately decided on it since it was necessary in becoming a professional
He enjoys the intense training with Volk
He felt that playing against his former teammates would be difficult to do at first, but then became excited about it. He states that fighting as allies is not the only way to improve themselves, and believes facing each other can provide new growth
He quickly adjusted to life in Germany and likes how disciplined it is, more so than Japan
He enjoys browsing secondhand bookstores and attending classical concerts (when time and money allow) during his off days in Germany
He states that while he has not mastered the German language yet, he is also able to communicate with facial expressions
He has known Sanada since they were younger due to their grandfathers being friends and former coworkers
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ttwt episode 1 - part 1
Chris McLean, fresh out of court and looking as spiff and spin as ever, stands on the tarmac of an airport landing strip somewhere in Toronto, Canada. His smile is bright and confident, and his eyes are shimmering with sadistic glee as he giggles to himself.
“Season three of Total Takes, folks! From sea to shining sea, from forest to plain, from here to Machu Picchu and back, this is Total Takes: World Tour! Seventeen teens you know and love will be competing right here, right now, ALL around the world for another million dollars!"
A large, shiny bus pulls up behind him and the doors slide open with a low hiss.
“Let’s meet our contestants, shall we?” Chris beams. “Here with us today is Courtney, Scruffy, Ass, Julia, Bonnie…”
The first four teens breeze out of the bus with ease. Courtney waves merrily, while Scruffy gargles something from a Thermos, and Julia and Ass elbow each other when the other gets too close. Bonnie looks less than enthused- even less so than usual.
“Missing Caesar?” Courtney asks, adjusting the straps on their pack.
Bonnie shrugs. “A little. Stupid contracts,”
“Staci, Austin, Max, and… Patrick!”
Patrick makes a point to shove Chris a little on his way out. The host scoffs as a crew of makeup and hair assistants rush to fix his flyaways.
“This season’s gonna be right groovy, isn’t it?” Austin says, wrapping an arm around Staci and beaming.
Max doesn’t look at him. “Don’t talk to me,”
“And returning favorites, Mal, Kelly, and Frollo!”
The latter slinks out of the bus with his nose buried in his Bible, looking around suspiciously before being barreled out of the way.
“Watch out below!” Joner and Sha-Mod yell, jumping onto the pavement and trampling Frollo before running off to join the others.
Julia gives the two an odd, disgruntled look. “I don’t remember seeing you on the carpet,”
“You must’ve mistaken us for each other. We’re wearing matching outfits,” Joner says proudly.
Julia blinks, then rolls her eyes.
“Also returning this season- Michela!”
Michela stumbles out of the bus, several bags on her arms. “Was it really necessary I carry all the luggage?”
“Less talky, more carry, She-Hulk!” Ass yells, then chuckles at their own joke. Courtney rolls their eyes.
“Here, let me help you with that!” a voice from within the bus says. Albert jogs out and takes some of the bags from Michela, who smiles. “Thank you,”
“And without further ado, here’s our brand new cast member- Albert!” Chris beams, then squints. “The guy who got me arrested.”
Albert laughs nervously. “Water under the bridge?”
“Hey, don’t forget about me!” a weak voice from within the bus squeaks. Phillip, dressed eerily similar to Alejandro from the original World Tour, walks out. “Woke media trying to silence me…”
“Oh, yeah. And here’s Phillip,” Chris sighs. The sound of scraping metal pulls everyone’s attention behind them, and a massive, hulking plane rolls up on the tarmac.
“Great. This is how I die,” Ass crosses their arms.
“Why don’t you complain a little louder, they can’t hear you in Winnipeg,” Courtney grumbles.
Mal steps up to Courtney and whispers in their ear. “I know, such a drag, right?”
They jump. “Jesus, where did you come from?”
Frollo appears out of thin air on Courtney’s other side. “Did someone say Jesus?”
Julia, standing next to Scruffy with her hands on her hips, turns to them. “Don’t you have anything to say?”
Scruffy shakes their head and taps their throat. Julia sighs and walks off.
“Are you sure this is… uh, safe to fly on?” Kelly asks. “No judgment, but…”
“Full judgment, but I don’t think that’s going to be capable of lifting off,” Max cuts in. “Or landing.”
The contestants look between each other nervously. Chris chuckles. “Hey, I’m flying in it too. You guys have nothing to worry about!”
“Fine,” Ass sighs, slinging their pack over their shoulder. “Let’s get this over with.”
---
“As some of you might’ve guessed-” Chris looks at Scruffy. “This season is, in fact, a musical one! However, due to budget restraints and copyright laws and blah blah blah, we only had the moola to recycle the songs from the original TDWT. It’ll be your job to adjust the lyrics accordingly.”
Scruffy jumps up and down and claps their hands.
---
SCRUFFY: “Ahem. Saving my voice. I’ve been looking forward to this for years! Singing classes since I was ten!”
---
Michela raises an eyebrow. “You can’t honestly expect us to know all that,”
“Oh, but I am,” Chris chuckles. “I’m sure your castmates will give you a hand where they need to. Oh, and- if you don’t sing, you’re automatically eliminated!”
The cast gasps, much to the host’s amusement. “And while you’re here, I might as well explain the perks and the pains. Losing teams will sleep here- in economy. Winners will get first class, though- so you might wanna bring your A-Game,” he grins. “We also have two confessionals, a cargo hold, and a galley- and an elimination hall. Got it? Got it, good.” he says, ignoring the sea of raised hands.
“This is a nightmare,” Max grumbles, seated next to Michela in the galley.
The jingling chime of a bell catches everyone’s attention. Scruffy squeals. “It’s song time!”
“That’s right! Whenever you hear the sound of that little bell, it’s musical number time!” Chris grins. “So get to it! We’re taking off!”
Chris disappears behind a large metal door, leaving a host of confused teens behind. Ass rolls their eyes. “Any volunteers?”
Scruffy stands, but before they can get a note in, Courtney rises from their seat in the galley. “Up!”
Kelly joins them. “Up!”
Staci jumps up next, grabbing Kelly’s hand and raising their arms to the ceiling. “Up! Up!”
Sha-Mod and Joner jump in right after. “Sing, sing, sing, sing!”
“We’re flying,” Max grumbles. Austin butts in seconds later. “And singing, baby!”
“We’re flying and we’re singing!” Sha-Mod and Joner pick up, joined by Albert.
Julia walks across the galley, half-heartedly gesturing around. “Come fly with us,”
Scruffy tries to join in but is barrelled over by Patrick, who sings in a loud, soprano voice. “Come fight with us!”
Bonnie chokes out a half-hearted spoken-word mumble. “I think this stupid plane is about to combust,”
“This is miserable,” Michela sulks. “Come fly with us,”
Mal jumps into frame, shoving her out of the way and beaming. “COME FLY WITH US!”
Frollo holds up a finger. “In the Lord we find salvation, love, and trust,”
Mal and Michela stare at him.
“This is the best, our noise is so groovy!” Austin shouts, pulling Phillip and Ass into a hug with either arm.
Ass shoves him off. “You better watch it before I end up in juvie!”
“Yeah, like guys, isn’t singing kind of gay?” Phillip adds.
Patrick shakes his fist. “Call me that again and I’ll mess up your face!”
Courtney butts in, pushing the two apart. “Come fly with us! Don’t die with us!”
The plane suddenly lurches to the left, sending everyone flying. Austin flies around the galley like a piece of paper in the wind, shrieking. “Baby, who’s flying this groovy aeroplane!” Bonnie groans and gets up, massaging their temples. “You guys are giving me a migraine!”
“Come fly with us, come sing with us!” Courtney, Kelly, and Staci sing to Ass and Phillip.
“NO!” the latter two insist.
Chris ducks out of the cockpit and holds up a thick stack of paper. “Remember, no singing means no winning! Every contestant must SING!”
Courtney elbows Ass’ ribcage. “Let’s hear it! Just one thing!”
Patrick holds up a fist to Phillip again. “You better not cost me a win!”
Phillip sighs. “Well, I don’t want to go home- fine! But for the record, I’m not gay,” he takes a deep breath. “Come fly with us! Come fly with us! Come, and fly, with us!”
Ass palms their forehead and stands. “I hate all of youuuuu!”
Scruffy runs into scene, panting. “Did I miss it? Patrick knocked me out,”
The teens look between each other and Courtney offers them a pat of condolence on their shoulder as they pout. “Aw…”
---
SCRUFFY: “I’m not too worried about getting eliminated- I mean, half the cast of TDWT didn’t sing and they made it out just fine! I’m just bummed I missed the opening number…”
---
“Buckle up, fruitcakes!” Chef’s voice rings over the PA system. “We are now beginning our descent into Mexico.”
The teens ooh and ah as they take their seats, buckling themselves in as the plane begins to descend.
“Mexico is like, so exotic,” Staci says. “I hope I get to work on my tan- I’ve been doing a lot of indoors-y studying for college.”
“I hope we get to eat,” Michela says.
The entirety of economy class nods and murmurs in agreement, and then falls silent. Albert fidgets with the zipper on his windbreaker while the hum of the engines gently vibrates the cabin.
Julia is leaning against the rough metal walls, grumbling to herself while watching Patrick glare at Scruffy.
---
JULIA: “Things have been pretty awkward with Scruffy lately. I mean, they got worse after Patrick and I… whatever. I figured that things would go back to normal when we broke up but there’s still this wall between us! It’s driving me insane,”
---
Julia sighs and turns to her right, ignoring the scuffle on the other side of her. She watches Albert play with his zipper, squinting. “Hey, I know you,”
He looks up. “Hm?”
“You’re that guy. The investigator person,” Julia crosses her arms and then points. “You got McLean arrested.”
“Oh, yeah. Guess I did,” he says, looking around.
“I hope you’re taking notes for next time, cause I’d have preferred it if you kept him in jail,” Ass shouts.
“Hey, that was the court. Blame the legal system, not me,” Albert shrugs. “I did my part.”
“Did you?”
He seems to shrink into himself, avoiding eye contact.
---
Albert sits in the confessional for a few moments, tapping the camera and looking confused before he blinks.
ALBERT: “Wait, this thing is always on? Great. Well,” he sighs. “...I guess all I have to say is that... I did really try. All that research, all that legal evidence- and it all meant nothing!”
---
Julia rolls her eyes and leans back, ignoring Ass tearing into Albert. The blonde crosses her arms as her eyes drift across the cabin before meeting Scruffy’s, and she quickly turns away.
“T-Minus two minutes to landing!” Chef’s voice bellows over the speakers. “Brace yourselves!”
The teens duck and cover, tightening their seatbelts and covering their heads as the plane shakes and bumps, screeching down the tarmac.
When it finally comes to a stop and the Seatbelts On sign weakly flickers out, the contestants groan and begin standing.
“I’m already over this,” Julia sighs, unbuckling herself.
“Hey, let’s look at the bright side,” Sha-Mod announces merrily. “At least it’ll be warm! That’s something to look forward to!”
“Speak for yourself,” Mal grumbles, slathering on a coat of sunscreen to maintain her sickly complexion.
The teens line up at the plane door as a staircase is rolled over for their exit. Most are silent, but a few are chatting merrily about the food and the weather. The door finally opens and the teens file out, just to be met with a freezing cold breeze and a cloud of dust from the rough landing.
“Jesus Christ-” Ass starts, ignoring Frollo’s gasp of offense. “Did you take a wrong turn and land us in the arctic?”
“Great going, Chris! Can’t even find a whole country!” Mal snaps.
Chris walks up, chuckling to himself. “Oh, this is Mexico, alright- welcome to the city of Teotihuacan!”
As the dust begins to clear, the contestants are met with a massive archaeological wonder of the world, an ancient city spanning around them for as far as their eyes can see. A few ooh and ah.
“Known for its rich history and ideal real estate- located in this lovely sub-valley- this long-gone capital of archaeological interest is rich with culture, religion, and my personal favorite- pyramids!” Chris chuckles.
“Okay, that’s very nice, but that doesn’t explain the weather,” Courtney says softly, shivering.
“Oh, yeah. We maaaaaay have had a part in that,” the host explains, gesturing to the thick, dark clouds overhead. “See, one of the many theories about the collapse of Teotihuacan suggests a volcanic winter might’ve caused some... civil unrest.”
“I’m feeling unrested, alright,” Patrick grumbles.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, cowboy,” Chris says. “The worst is yet to come. This region of Mexico is known for its high volcanic activity- and in a tribute to the last season of World Tour, I thought our challenge today would combine the first and last episodes of the Total Drama season.”
Scruffy raises an eyebrow. “So… we’re going to-”
“Your first leg of the challenge will consist of navigating the tunnels under the Pyramid of the Sun, the largest pyramid in Teotihuacan. In our Egypt challenge, we gave contestants the choice of going over or under, but we’re not technically allowed to let you climb the ruins,” Chris shrugs. “So under it is. In the tunnel system below the pyramid, you’ll discover a handful of obsidian objects that you might’ve found in the city some thousands of years ago. Once you’re out, I’ll be waiting to give you instructions for your next task. Ready?”
The teens look between each other nervously.
“Go!”
They set off, almost immediately fracturing off into groups. Courtney and Bonnie lead, followed by Sha-Mod and Joner, followed by Michela and Max. Albert catches up to the latter two, wheezing. “Mind if I join?”
Michela shrugs, much to Max’s annoyance.
---
MAX: “There’s something off about that guy. I don’t trust him,”
---
MICHELA: “Everyone’s been giving Albert a hard time lately, and he seems sweet… what’s the harm in helping him out?”
---
Julia runs behind the three, raising an eyebrow at the odd interaction, but she quickly shrugs it off and speeds up. As the blonde ducks into the tunnels leading under the pyramid, a familiar head of green hair pops out of nowhere. “Hey, Jules!”
Julia coughs awkwardly. “Oh, um- hi. Can I help you?”
“Not really- but I can help you. I’ve been studying pyramid architecture just in case something like this would happen. Wanna team?” Scruffy asks. “I’ll get you some good obsidian!”
She relaxes a little and smiles. “Yeah, sure. That’d be cool with me,”
---
JULIA: “Okay, maybe I’ve been overthinking things a little. Scruffy doesn’t seem mad… unless it’s some kind of trick. But they wouldn’t do that to me… would they?”
---
Austin skips and frolics through the tunnels, just ahead of Patrick, who’s trying not to snap as Frollo goes on about unholy pagan religion. Behind them, Kelly and Staci walk casually through tunnels, chatting merrily.
“I don’t know, I mean, she’s cute and all but I’m not sure if I want to risk my scholarship chasing some girl,” Staci says, twirling a strand of hair around their finger. “What if I get distracted?”
“If anyone can find a good balance, it’s you,” Kelly comments reassuringly, patting Staci’s shoulder. “Who knows- maybe she’ll motivate you!”
Staci nods. “That’s a totally fair point. Next time I find a phone on this show, I’ll call,”
Kelly beams and then looks aside with a cautious expression as Staci chats on.
---
KELLY: “I’m happy for them, I really am, but sometimes… I just wish I had something to myself, too,”
---
“God, it’s dark in here,” Julia says, only her eyes visible in the darkest stretch of the tunnels. “You know where we are, right, Scruffy?” no response. “...Scruffy?”
Julia continues walking forward before colliding with someone else and sending them both tumbling to the ground. She huffs. “Watch it!”
“Sorry, it’s hard to see,” Courtney’s voice rings out through the darkness. “Julia? Is that you?”
“In the flesh,” she grumbles.
“Have you seen Bonnie? We got mixed up and I lost them,”
“I haven’t seen anyone since Scruffy and I got split up,”
“I’m here too!” a voice rings out. Courtney and Julia both scream as Mal appears out of nowhere, the light from her phone illuminating her face in the darkness. “And look what I found.”
She holds up an obsidian blade and laughs maniacally. Courtney and Julia look at each other nervously, prompting Mal to roll her eyes. “Oh, quit being such babies. I’m not going to hurt you,” she pauses to smile. “Yet.”
---
“Courtney! Courtney?” Bonnie yells into the tunnels, their own echo bouncing back.
As they sigh and sit on the ground, taking a breather, they notice a figure across the hall and jump with a start. “Jesus, Max, you scared the crap out of me,”
“Lost?” he asks plainly. Bonnie nods. “Where’s Michela?”
“With that guy, I’m assuming,” he says sharply. Bonnie raises an eyebrow but doesn’t push- not that they have time to, because seconds later Scruffy comes running down the hall, shouting Julia’s name. Without looking, they trip on Bonnie’s outstretched leg and fall face-first into the dirt and dust layering the floor.
“Hey, Scruff,” Bonnie says as they sit up and brush themselves off. “Lost?”
“No, I know exactly where we are- but Julia wandered off while I was getting this,” they say, holding up a shiny obsidian necklace. “I figured it might get us an advantage in the next part of the challenge.”
“Sure. Well, I haven’t seen anyone but Max for an hour at this point,”
“What about me?”
Max shrieks as a voice comes from the dirt beside him. Phillip rises, a layer of grime falling from his body. “I was trying to bury myself. I figured this challenge was hopeless since no one wanted to team with me…”
“Oh, brother,” Bonnie mumbles under their breath.
---
“I’m sure he’ll turn up,” Albert thinks aloud, walking the tunnels with a sulking Michela at his side. “He’s probably already waiting outside.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I still feel weird leaving him, though,”
“Leaving who?” Patrick asks, emerging from the darkness with Sha-Mod and Frollo behind him.
“Um… you’ve got a tail,” Albert points at the two. Patrick rolls his eyes.
“Yes. I can’t seem to shake them off,” he sighs. “This one lost his buddy and the other one thinks this place is cursed.”
“Unholy ground,” Frollo mutters. “Unclean… foul.”
“You see what I have to deal with?”
A sudden, loud whooping noise coming from behind the group echoes against the walls, getting closer by the second. Frollo goes pale. “Witches!” he screams, and then runs past Patrick, straight into a wall.
The impact makes the tunnel tremor a bit, sending bits of dirt and dust from the ceiling- along with an obsidian figurine depicting a serpent. It unlodges itself from the roof and falls on Patrick’s head with a large thump. He mumbles nonsense and passes out on the ground.
“Well,” Michela picks up the artifact. “It’s something, right?”
The whooping noise comes closer before bursting into their section of the hall- but it’s only Austin, running past them into the dark. “I can smell the way out, baby!”
Sha-Mod and Albert make brief eye contact, and then shrug, the gang following him out and leaving Patrick unconscious on the floor for a few moments before Michela runs back to grab him.
---
Chris sits outside the pyramid, sipping from a Thermos and enjoying the volcanic weather.
“It’s your fault, not mine!” a voice shouts.
Chris perks up. “And here come the first contestants,”
Julia, Courtney, and Mal walk out of the tunnels, bickering, with Ass shortly behind. A very meek and slightly terrified Joner scampers out after them, hanging at the back of the group.
“Ladies- and others,” Chris nods. “Find me anything good?”
Mal holds up her blade with a big grin.
“Niiiiice,” the host grins, rubbing his chin. “As the first group out of the tunnels, you are officially team number one- oh, and here come team number two!”
Bonnie, Max, Scruffy, and Phillip emerge from the tunnels, coated in dust and debris. Kelly and Staci trail behind them, still chatting.
Scruffy immediately lights up when they see Julia, and dashes over to her. “I’m so glad you made it out! Here- I found this for you,” they say, holding up the necklace they found.
“Sickening,” Ass mumbles. Courtney stomps on their foot and they yelp.
“Nice find, Scruffy,” Chris comments. “One more team to go!”
After a long, drawn out period of waiting, the final team- lead by Austin- come running out, panting. Patrick is currently conscious, but has a large bump on his head and is sucking his thumb while Michela carries him like a baby (much to her annoyance).
“Michela, Albert, Patrick, Austin, Sha-Mod, and Frollo-” Chris counts. “You’re team number three!”
Michela drops Patrick in the dirt the second she sees Max, and runs over to him. “I’m glad you got out okay, I couldn’t have lived with myself if I knew you were still down there,”
He raises an eyebrow. “You would’ve gone back?”
“Of course!”
Max thinks for a moment, and then smiles. Chris clears his throat. “Okay, enough of that. It’s time to choose your team names! This season, whoever found your obsidian artifact will be naming the team- so that means Mal, Scruffy, and… whoever.” he chuckles.
“Michela picked up the artifact, so she should get to choose the team name. It’s only fair,” Albert posits.
“But Frollo hit the wall, which dislodged it,” Sha-Mod rubs his chin, thinking aloud.
“Hello! Are we forgetting that thing nearly gave me a concussion!” Patrick shouts from the ground. He is ignored.
“But it was Austin who made Frollo run into the wall, so…” Michela says. “Austin?”
The five of them turn to Austin, who’s busy practicing karate moves on the dirt a few feet away. When he notices everyone staring, he shrugs. “Easy one, baby. Team Mojo!”
---
AUSTIN: "No, I don't need the money, baby- but a free two-star trip around the world? Parties and birds in the four corners of the globe? Sign me up, baby!"
---
The five sigh. “I don’t know what else I was expecting,” Michela murmurs.
A few feet away, Ass and Julia watch the discussion, the former shaking their head before turning back to Mal. “You better choose something good,”
“I still think it should be Team Amazon, as a callback,” Courtney says, raising a finger and looking at Joner. “I mean, we have a very similar demographic.”
“Nuh-uh,” Mal puts her hands on her hips. “I already chose the name. Team Yaoi!”
The other teammates groan and give pained expressions to each other. Ass palms their forehead.
“Okay, so after a democratic vote, we’ll have our answer,” Scruffy says. “All in favor of Phillip’s submission?”
Phillip crosses his arms. “You have to say the full thing,”
“Okay, fine- all in favor of The Bleeding Hearts Against Social Justice Warriors?”
Phillip enthusiastically raises a hand, earning blank stares from everyone else. When he realizes his hand is alone, he sighs and starts digging another hole to bury himself in.
“All in favor of Max’s submission- Team... uh, Psychological Torture?”
Not even Max raises his hand. Scruffy sighs. “Okay, Bonnie’s- Team I Want to go Home?”
Bonnie picks at their nails.
“Okay, Staci’s- all in favor of Team Friendship?”
Staci and Kelly enthusiastically wave their hands and squeal, sweeping the majority vote. Scruffy bangs an invisible gavel and grins. “Team Friendship it is!”
Max turns to Bonnie. “We probably should’ve had a plan to prevent this,”
“Tell me about it,” they sigh.
“Alright, campers! Team Yaoi, Team Mojo, and Team Friendship!” Chris says, barely holding back a laugh. “Now that you’ve been paired up, it’s time for your penultimate challenge- that’s right, we’re going hiking- on an active volcano!”
The teens gasp as Chris chuckles to himself. “Unlike the original World Tour, you aren’t getting any advantages- your only goal is to not be the schmucks to get last place. All will be explained- NEXT TIME! On Total Takes: World Tour!”
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