#transactional level

[psychopomp-namine]

the way everyone has a dislike in their profile that actually says something integral about their character. lu guang doesn't like plans getting messed up, cheng xiaoshi dislikes loneliness, xia fei with owing favors, vein with lying...

and then you have liu xiao, who dislikes... cilantro. and fish mint.

(shakes fist) (putting him in a glass jar and shaking vigorously) learn to be vulnerable!! tell me something about yourself!! I guess him liking movies lines up with the theater metaphors, and there's him liking chess, but that. doesn't count methinks

[turnandface]

RE: POLYAMORY — I know I've posted something encouraging polyamorous ships, but I want to elaborate on who in my muse roster would be open to polyamory (in some form or another):

Alexander is polyamorous in theory, but it also takes him a long time to become romantically attracted to people. The chances of that happening for two people at once are slim, but not zero.

Chaz would possibly be open to a closed triangle style of polyamory. If you're his person, you're his person. But there is potential for multiple persons, though. If there does become a shared interest in someone else, though, 👀👀… This may be unsustainable long term because Chaz is insecure and gets easily overwhelmed by feelings of love and intimacy. BUT he likely wouldn't consider it as a factor until it was too late.

Ignacio may be more of an honorable mention on this list. Despite his relationship with Jo and Amber, I'm not sure if he's polyamorous, and I'm actually leaning toward the idea that he's not.

Jean would only really be interested in something closed. This is not something he would think about until a partner brought it up, though. He's not necessarily opposed, but he'd need his proverbial hand held through it all. (Not that this is a terrible thing, some just take to the idea easier than others.) He Does have some jealousy issues to work, though…For Sure.

Johnny (?) is either polyamorous or he's just like, "why do that when you can cheat," maybe even "that's cheating with extra steps."

Kim (?) needs to, first, want to pursue a relationship, but I don't see polyamory as something that is out of the picture for him.

Marrakesh is ambiamorous. He's perfectly happy in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship. If he is in a polyamorous relationship, he has a soft spot/preference toward kitchen table polyamory.

Miles is open to the idea.

[notsodailycake]

Having my therapist suggest we discuss about the possibility of getting me into anti-depressants has been haunting me since our last session last month (i can only afford a once a month session atm).

Bc that is something i was aware i was getting close to needing bc i was NOT taking good care of myself after we stopped our sessions (mainly bc i was avoiding it since i didn't want to worry my parents more about money, but my mom had insisted bc i really was not having the energy to pretend anymore), but it still just makes me feel very lost at myself

I feel like I've accomplished many great things, but i also just feel so so tired.

I wanna vent but it all feels so wrong

And i dont wanna expose myself more to people, bc it is so so embarrassing like holy shit

[mofsblog]

Me when I get fixated on a ship so niche one of them barely has screentime and the other DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A NAME OR AO3 TAG AND HAS 0 TUMBLR POSTS ABOUT THEM 😭

[tos-and-her-musings]

thoracic outlet syndrome and my disordered eating

The very first word I learned in my family's native, immigrant tongue was "fat." ‘Fei’. My mother would point to a lady walking down the grocery store aisle as she muttered the word under her breath, ‘fei’, eyeing the layers of fat hidden beneath the cloak of her dress. This was later followed with, "If you ever look like her one day, I will lock you in a cupboard and starve you for a week."

I know that my mom was bullied for her weight, and she was trying to save me from the same torturous fate.

I learned that the greatest act of kindness I could receive was to be starved into being thin. That was how she loved me.

At age 12, I began my first year of high school. I stood in the changing rooms, my nervous, skinny knees shaking as I tried on my school uniform. My extra-small polo shirt drowned me, and my sports shorts were dangerously close to slipping off. The canteen worker huffed out a sigh as she examined me. “I’m afraid we won’t have anything that fits her; she’s just so petite.”

My mother smiled, looking almost proud. “No, i'll just have to take it in.”

I learned that the greatest compliment I could receive was to be so small that anything I wear can engulf me, to be so small that I’m invisible.

At age 14, my body changed. I developed breasts. I grew up a dress size. My mother would jokingly call me “solid.” Compliments about my petite frame began to fade. When I laid on my back and my tummy went flat, I could no longer see my bones. I didn’t know why that made me so anxious. I lost the special “thigh gap” I was told others were so envious of, that I got to have. I watched my mother bounce from fad milkshakes to diets, to gym classes and workout videos. I watched her break down and cry.

I kept growing. One night, my father took away my dinner as I was halfway eating. He said with a chuckle, “That’s enough for you.”

I learned that there was nothing more shameful than gaining weight.

At age 15, I failed mathematics. It was tragic really, considering that I came from a family of doctors and university graduates; intelligence was in our DNA. What was my excuse? However, my brain was filled to the brim with song lyrics and the injustices of human trafficking and caged chickens, and too busy analysing Sylvia Plath’s poetry. So as hard as I studied, when asked to ‘find x’ in this equation, I could do no more than simply point to the letter and say “there!”

That was not good enough for my family. They removed me from my public education, convinced that if I was given more structure, resources, and discipline, away from my friends and the teachers who supported me, I would get better. When that proved fleeting, they suggested I move out entirely and live with my sister, to finish school away from them. They couldn’t handle my teenage emotions anymore.

It did not cross their minds to tell me that it was not personal, that it didn’t mean they loved me any less as they sought to abandon me.

I learned that the complex, colourful array of angsty emotions following loss, is just too difficult and messy for others. Nice, neat, black-and-white numbers are much more desirable.

At age 17, I lost my friends.

As formal grew closer, I set my eyes on the one thing that could make things feel right: looking good in my formal dress. I began to count calories. It was kind of like a game. I couldn’t solve equations, but adding and subtracting I could do. 300-calorie chicken salad + 100-calorie muesli bar. Subtract 300 calories from my run this morning to make you feel good.

I tried to make the game more challenging. 1000 calories turned to 900, 800, then 700. By the time I got to 500, I was going to bed with a chasm the size of the Grand Canyon in my belly and waking up seeing stars.

By the time formal came, I weighed 35 kgs.

I learned that when life gets out of control, I can always, ALWAYS control my weight. I can always rely on calorie counting. And nothing feels as satisfying as being hungry.

It is no wonder that I spent the next five years of my life yo-yoing between diets. Riding that eating disorder rollercoaster, the highs with Mia and the plummeting lows with Anna. I learned that a combination of saltwater and ice cream can make you throw anything up. That downloading pictures of cakes and staring at them can be just as good as eating the real thing. I worked hard to excel in every aspect of my studies and my job. To make my parents proud. And when life got hard, I simply stopped eating.

It took years to break out of that habit. To learn that the greatest value I have in my body is the strength she has to run and take me to places. To value my health more than a number on a scale. I learned that my body was more than a vehicle for weight loss and self-destruction.

With my arms and hands, I learned how to play the violin and reach the most magical state of flow, where I not only stopped time but controlled time with every note I played. I could achieve the greatest highs by running and jumping and twirling in the air. With my body, I learned how to express love and joy. I learned how to make others laugh and cry from a stage in a packed theatre. I learned that my body was meant for more than to simply be skinny. It was meant for love.

I learned to nourish and fuel this body to sustain the health and strength she needed. I learned to eat intuitively. I stopped playing the numbers game and got rid of my scales. I exercised for fun and not for punishment. Most importantly, I found a career that could help me help others value the health and strength that their body has and to nurture it too.

Since being diagnosed with thoracic outlet syndrome and this disability, I have lost everything. My arms no longer have the strength to play music or create magic or communicate love or propel me to fly or make others laugh. If my body was a temple, it has been ravaged and desecrated in the most heinous way.

No punishment could ever fit the crime of what was done to me. And the worst part is, I did this to myself.

I used to channel all the focus, drive, ambition, and discipline I had with every calorie I counted, towards my goals and dreams, my ambitions, my talents, and my hobbies. The things that made me amazing. The things that made me belong. The things that made me real. There is nothing more painful than being forced to watch your temple crumble around you, bringing down with it everything you loved and worked so hard to build. It should come as no surprise that without these things to work towards, I started counting again.

I’ve lost weight again. I rediscovered old numbers again. Never mind the fact that I’m 2 kg away from being clinically underweight, my doctor seemed pleased when she saw my numbers. There is something about the ED diagnosis that stands out from every other clinical disorder we have in the DSM. It’s ego-syntonic for a reason. It’s really one of the only mental health disorders you can be praised (implicitly so) for having. My life is falling apart. But no matter, because according to everyone else, “I still look so good.”

I am diagnosed with a diagnosis that has no cure and a very poor prognosis and a treatment that might kill me, physically, psychologically, and spiritually, only to get a recurrence of this diagnosis again and again and again. Losing all control cannot begin to describe this feeling.

Somehow, I have convinced myself that everything will be okay, as long as I. Don’t. Gain. Weight. After all, I may be in a great deal of pain and unable to do anything that meant anything to me, but at least I have a hot body. That is what I am told. “You certainly don’t look like you’re unwell. You don’t look like you haven’t been able to work out. You look great.”

I want to scream.

I know I need to eat again to gain the strength to face the challenges ahead. But I can’t stop thinking… it’s bad enough that you have a disability, do you need to be fat too?

Nothing forces you to challenge every core belief you have and learn how to love yourself unconditionally more than gaining a disability can.

[mangopit]

AND op is a terf. so maybe everyone who's reblogged that original post in the past month or so can use this as a learning experience in 1) how to spot aphobic dogwhistles and 2) how to do the Bare Minimum research of "Tapping the User's Account"

if i had to explain what tumblr is like i’d only show this

[ppiwallet]

Easy Refund Management for Failed or Partial Payments

Need to refund a failed, excess, or partial UPI payment? Our API supports easy refund initiation with transaction-level tagging. Great for eCommerce returns, event cancellations, or service-based refunds.

[carltonlassie]

Guys did you know the newest AI hype train is something called Agentic AI and it just means that we now have systems where AI can be an agent, a colleague, a true assistant in that given a goal to achieve, it can make decisions and execute it on your behalf. It's different from other AI systems in that it doesn't just perform narrowly defined and specific commands; it is goal oriented and will chase the outcome by itself based on a decision matrix and various inputs. So self-driving cars are an example of Agentic AI because given a goal of taking a passenger to the destination, it needs to make several decisions such as mapping the route, sensing the surroundings and reacting to the changing input, and execute its decisions to achieve the goal. Other Agentic systems are being built to be your errand boy/personal valet essentially - you could tell an agent to figure out how much you owe a contractor and pay him on your behalf. If you let the AI systems access your emails, calendar, and BANK ACCOUNT. It'll take care of it for you so you can direct your attention to better things. And I'm just like um. That's. Something.

[crown-of-ice-and-broken-seaglass]

Not me suddenly having severe doubt I’ll ever find love because wtf do I even bring to the table? I’m riddled with physical and mental illness, I have shit energy especially in the winter, I can’t cook for multiple reasons, housekeeping is out of the question, I’m never gonna really act my age (at least not permanently), I’m pretty disgusting on the regular, and I’m obese

[ipasantosh]

Diploma in Taxation 

[freshthoughts2020]

[stew-chan]

ideal game

- lots of clothes to dress up cute

- good building system to make a house/fort

- fun social combat to show off your character to other players and beat stuff up

[thedbahub]

TRANSACTION ISOLATION LEVEL SNAPSHOT vs NOLOCK Hint

Introduction Have you ever wondered how to handle concurrency and locking in your SQL Server databases? As your applications grow in complexity and usage, managing simultaneous transactions becomes crucial for performance and data integrity. In this article, we’ll dive into two important mechanisms in SQL Server: the TRANSACTION ISOLATION LEVEL SNAPSHOT and the NOLOCK table hint. By…

[steviescrystals]

just remembered an insane interaction i had with a former coworker once and i have to share (possible tw for gun violence unfortunately)

[ma7moudgaza2]

Are banks operational in Gaza? And how do we deal with cash flow?

The targeting of the occupation against the banking and financial systems in the Gaza Strip, the destruction of dozens of exchange offices and ATMs, the prohibition of financial transfers to Gazans, and the absence of regulatory oversight from the relevant authorities have led to chaos and the dominance of banks and exchange offices, resulting in an increase in the financial discount as commissions on the amounts that Palestinians there seek to obtain in cash.

So as not to get away from the main topic of this post, let's focus on answering these two questions directly.

Yes and no.

How is that, Mahmoud? Explain.

Yes, all banks in Gaza have shut down their headquarters since the war broke out, and it's not possible to contact their employees to complete certain transactions.

But banks operate digitally through some official apps, mainly Bank of Palestine since its headquarters is in Ramallah and not Gaza, so it operates normally.

So you're saying the banks are closed does that mean ATMs are, too? How do you withdraw your money?

Through traders in Gaza.

How does that work?

Let's say Mahmoud needs to withdraw 100 dollars in cash. He goes to one of the known traders in Gaza and says "I need 100 dollars in cash, how much is commission?"

How much is commission?

Commission differs from one trader to another. It comes down to their personal desire. For example on the day of writing this post, dated 4/12/2024, commission for cash withdrawal has reached 30% of the amount withdrawn.

In other words, if I had 100 dollars in my bank account, I need to pay 30 dollars to the trader, and receive 70 dollars in cash. So, the price of converting bank credit to cash is 30% of that amount.

Meaning if I had 1000 dollars, I receive 700 dollars instead. Imagine that level of injustice, despair, and despotism.

When you receive money from outside of Palestine, the trader also keeps 30%.

But there's nothing we can do. We have no choice but to accept these terms, just to be able to eat and drink and go on with our daily needs.

On the other hand, prices of goods are astronomical. I am not exaggerating when I say that if a person in Gaza has unlimited money it still wouldn't be enough.

The smallest of families need 100 dollars a day just to get by with the bare minimum.

Help us to provide food for today and feed our children in the midst of this famine.

Only $350 left to reach the short-term goal of $22,000

@appsa @tsaricides @schoolhater @buttercuparry @feluka

@el-shab-hussein @wherethatoldtraingoes2 @nabulsi @sayruq @sar-soor

@tiredguyswag @gothhabiba @slydiddledeedee @kingskrazzyart @a-shade-of-blue