#trying to get better at dialogue centred snippets

[ghqstwriter]

“You aren’t Superhero.”

The remark came from behind the hero, resonating within the shadows that the rookie was certain they’d checked just moments ago. The voice sounded amused, almost. Like it was ridiculous to think the person standing in front of them should have been the famous, almighty Superhero. As though the difference between the two was so staggering that it was practically humorous.

Hero turned around at the noise, a few moments slower than they probably should have, eyes widening at the realisation that they truly weren’t alone in the room. The figure before them was dressed in dark colours, not visibly armed but still radiating an aura of intimidation nonetheless. Most notably, however, the figure was entirely unmasked, staring directly at Hero with wide eyes and enjoyment tugging at their lips.

“I’m uh— sorry to say I don’t recognise you, either,” Hero commented, trying to play it cool as though there was ever an ounce of chill in their entire body. Their hands fidgeted slightly, fingers flexing nervously. Whoever this was, they weren’t in the files. That was strange, since the villain before them was completely unmasked, as though their identity meant nothing to them.

“I gathered. Don’t get out much, really. More on the introverted side, I’d say. Though, I can’t say the same about you: you’re the newbie I read about last week, something about a fire, hm?” The villain pointed a finger towards Hero, tilting their head to the side. Hero cursed internally, things weren’t looking good for them here.

This was their first major mission, a chance to get their name out of those boring papers that nobody reads and into the news stations that seemed to praise every other benevolent hero on the streets. Superhero had a habit of taking the rookies out for a fly everytime a mission was too dull for their tastes, and this time it appeared they wanted Hero to join them at their side.

“Listen— Superhero is on their way right now. So don’t try anything, ok? I mean, you were expecting them, right?”

“Aw, pity. Here I was, hoping we’d have a little more time to get acquainted. Hero, wasn’t it? Rhetorical question; I know I’m right.”

“Is that supposed to be a metaphor for— you know, torture and stuff?” Hero questioned meekly, to which the villain laughed. It wasn’t particularly menacing or cruel, not the type of cackle you’d see on a Sunday cartoon. It appeared as though everything about this was genuinely amusing to the villain. An amicable conversation with an old friend. Meanwhile, Hero had to tense all of their muscles in order to stop the trembling.

It wasn’t the sheer sense of power radiating from the villain, they weren’t terrified of evil. It was the uncertainty that shook them deeply. The agency’s success had always been defined not by the endless valour of their heroes, but by their extensive knowledge of the city’s threats. Hero had studied the files for hours on end, noting just how thorough everything was. A complete and comprehensive guide to Villainy, where even the most powerful, evasive villains were exhaustively documented. This one wasn’t.

“You’re just adorable, aren’t you? I think I’ve gotten quite lucky today. I mean, if any other hero had taken this route, I’d probably be stuck talking to some self-righteous idiot. Much less tolerable than you are.”

“What are you—“ Hero started, though was cut off as soon as they noticed that the criminal was walking towards them. They paused in their stride when the two were only standing a couple inches apart. As much as Hero wanted to flee, to create some space between the pair, they gathered that ‘against a wall’ is the last place they’d want to be right now.

A C-Rank villain. They were supposed to be fighting a C-Rank. Mild fire powers, flamboyant, much more bark than bite, though still good for publicity (according to Superhero). Despite how weak Hero’s powers were compared to the other supers, even they could take down a C-Rank. This villain was no such thing. Hero felt their blood run colder by the minute as the criminal looked them up and down, investigating now that they were close enough to see every nook and cranny of their persona.

“I’ll be honest,” the villain grinned as they spoke, hands gripping their new friend’s shoulders. “I’ve never actually spoken with a hero before. Never been one to see the value in the showmanship part of villainy. No heroes to foil your schemes if they simply don’t know you exist. Alas, as rudimentary as I find the agency, they have something I need.”

“I’m not telling you anything, if that’s what you’re looking for,” Hero bit back, more than intimidated by just how close the villain was. Upon further inspection, Hero confirmed their worries: the criminal was unarmed. That was unnerving. What kind of villain goes to confront a hero without any tools?

"Sweetheart, I'm not here to interrogate you. I just want to make a deal, one that'll benefit the both of us." As they spoke, the villain's hands started to inch closer to the hero's neck, although their grip wasn't particularly tight. The type of hold that would have felt soft if not for the hands tracing the hero's collarbone leaving behind a lingering threat. The criminal ventured onwards.

"Your little agency has a lot of data, no? A complete documentation of all the criminals of the world. But, all that information is practically public. Accessible to any trainee, any visitor, any eager reporter wandering around the building. It would be a horrible decision for them to document some of the more gritty, immoral details, and thus the comprehensive guide becomes not-so-complete. Tell me, Hero, where is it that you get all the information for your missions?"

"So what some information is missing from the database. If it was important to a mission, they'd tell me."

"Sure they would."

"Where are you going with this?"

"I've read everything there is to read about you, Hero. And, if my intuition is correct – which it will be, you'll rise through the ranks quite quickly with that potential of yours. They'll start assigning you to much more deadly villains and, well, I'm sure you've realised by now that the dangerous ones are the ones off the books. No information for them, what a tragedy."

Villain's eyes glinted slightly, words carefully planned. They were cunning, Hero thought to themself. The dictionary definition of the mastermind archetype. Although, they seemed a lot more defined and well-trained than the typical evil genius.

"Is that your end of the deal, then? Giving me information in exchange for something else?" Hero questioned, desperately trying to follow along. If this villain thought they'd picked the wrong hero to confide in, they'd likely get rid of them and search for a much more competent one.

"I'm not asking for much. Just that you'll keep the door open for me when I come knocking. My contacts list is extensive, a web of the most skilled professionals and bastards out there. But, unfortunately, no heroes. I'm looking to remedy that. It's a simple enough request, isn't it? Just think of it as friendship blossoming between us, if that helps you sleep at night."

Hero gulped, legs feeling unsteady. As much as their moral compass wanted to scream and kick, they really didn’t have an option here. It wasn’t just the villain that was leagues stronger than Hero, it was everyone. Their powers were more of a nuisance than anything, and all of their skillset relied on their strategic planning. If they lacked information, they’d be hopeless in a fight.

Deep down, Hero wasn’t even certain that the threats were the main incentive here. Sure, death was still a terrifying concept to them, they were a rookie. They couldn’t deny that for a second. But, if they refused this offer, it wouldn’t just be them dying. If a dangerous criminal got loose, and nobody knew how to stop them, how many civilians would die? At just the concept of it, guilt rushed straight to their chest.

“And what kind of favours do you tend to ask your contacts for?” Hero asked, uncertain.

“Like I said, you won’t need to get your hands dirty, Hero. I’m not a violent person. Far less bloodthirsty than most of my associates. I’ll be asking no more of you than your coworkers would. Information, security, a place to go when clients get a little roudy. Of course, all these same privileges would belong to you, too.” The villain promised, never once breaking eye contact with the hero.

Confidently, the criminal reached out their hand, waiting for Hero to shake it. A promise, one Hero knew they could never go back on. One that could save lives, albeit at the profit of perhaps the most deadly enemy there could be.

I'm sure you've realised by now that the dangerous ones are the ones off the books.

Trembling only slightly, Hero’s hand met the villain’s in a firm handshake. The latter’s expression shifted to something much more prideful, indicative of a job well done. They’d managed to convince a hero to make a deal with the devil, after all, no blackmail required. Hero didn’t let their glee deter them. This was the right decision to make; they’d spend so many nights sleeplessly scanning through documents because they knew that information was their one shot at heroism. At the promise of more, or more accurately: the threat of missing some, the hero was certain that the good of this deal outweighed the bad.

A commotion began to kick up outside, though the villain didn’t seem to react. Superhero was here, alongside that C-Rank who seemed much more insignificant now. Nowhere near as interesting. The villain gave one final smile before turning on their heels and headed straight to the door. Before they left, they swivelled their head back to look at Hero, who stood idly in the centre of the room.

“I’ll be in touch soon to set up the all the arrangements. Nothing too complicated, don’t worry. Oh, and of course, try not to tell your supervisors about our little chat.” Hero could only nod silently in response, a thousand sensations storming their mind at once. Their fists continued their incessant routine of tightening and relaxing as their nerves grew.

Heavy footsteps pounded from the top floor of the building. Superhero on the lookout for their newest trainee, oblivious to the scene that unfolded moments before their arrival. The criminal laughed softly, the type of laugh that sounded more like an exhale than anything. Then, moments before Superhero walked through the doorway, they left after making one final comment.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Hero.”

[jedidryad]

So much of part 2 centres on Mara’s work to figure out whether becoming a Jedi is right for her (spoiler alert: it doesn’t seem to be at the moment). Her week at the academy gets off to a rough start...and middle... and end really -  although nowhere near as rough as that of some of Luke’s other students. One bright spot though is that she makes a couple of new friends, even if they don’t seem like it right away. Here is a snippet of her introduction to Corran Horn. Dialogue is from I, Jedi

 I found myself facing down a green eyed man whose blond hair didn’t quite seem right. In fact everything about him seemed a little off, and oddly familiar.

Luke had called him Kieran and had given him my name which left me feeling more vulnerable than I thought it would because I had the feeling he knew more about me now than I did him. 

I scrutinized him for a moment, trying to place him.  No, his name was not Kieran and he was no fresh faced youngling student. My scrutiny quickly turned into a rather rude stare as he held firm. Who was this? Did Luke know he was here under a false identity, or was he being played?

“Have we met before?” I offered the words as pretense for my prolonged silence, but I was fairly certain this guy knew better. This was why I hated Jedi.

“No, I don’t think so.”

Oh he knew.

“Odd. I don’t usually forget a face.”

He didn’t flinch.

“And I think I would remember you.”

I felt my right eyebrow lift of its own accord. Who the kriff was this?

He turned away as though the conversation was over and I fought back a rush of anger. Whoever this guy was, I wasn’t about to back down. This academy thing was clearly already taking a toll on Skywalker. The last thing he needed was some Force strong imposter working an agenda.

“Kieran” was holding forth about the variety of rooms and options for me as I tried to see if I could get a read on him. I didn’t get much before I met a very deliberate shield. It was effective, if not particularly subtle.

All I really got out of him was a pointless confession that he’d picked a room among the old rebel pilots’ quarters back when this was a rebel base. Still, knowing that provided me an opportunity to make it clear I didn’t trust him as I smiled and told him I’d choose a room there too, in order to keep an eye on him.

I emphasized my intentions as we walked over to the residential section in question. Our positioning looked casual but I doubted anyone on this moon would be tricked by that. We made pleasantries until my companion made his move and tricked me into saying something about the Empire so he could accuse me of Imperial loyalties. I supposed I should have seen that coming.

On the up side, that meant I didn’t have to play nice anymore. The carefully casual walk was at an end. 

“You said we’d not met,” I opened, settling comfortably into a combat stance,  “but you clearly have a problem with me. Shall we settle it now?”

The smile he graced me with then was the most Corellian thing I’d ever seen. It made his face remarkably punchable. For a moment, I relished the possibility, but I never got to find out what he was going to do. Abruptly, he blinked and shook his head a little as if to clear it. I then watched him take a deep breath that looked like it had come straight out of a Luke Skywalker training session.

He apologized with a thoroughness that was remarkable in my life at the time, especially coming from someone who had clearly been planning to pin all the evils of the Empire on me seconds before.

He offered a hand and introduced himself as Corran Horn. And that name fit him like a skinsuit. It also explained why he seemed familiar. This was Mirax’s husband:  the Rogue Squadron pilot who had turned down Luke’s training offer in order to stay with her and practice his Force skills in the bedroom. I bit back an inappropriate grin as I recalled her waxing poetic about her husband’s lightsaber and leaving no doubt whatsoever what she actually meant.

I missed her.

As I took Horn’s offered hand, I wondered if he knew his wife regaled her smuggler friends with stories about their marathon lovemaking sessions. Considering what I knew about Rogue Squadron, I doubted it would bother him in the least if he did. 

[thelightningawardsofficial]

Interview Tieg 2001 & Judge Amy

The Lightning Awards 2019 Interview: Tieg2001 Winner of Love Is In The Air Category with "Spectral Illusion"

Hello! My name is Amy and on behalf of The Lightning Awards: congratulations on your win in the Love Is In The Air Category! How do you feel about your win?

Hai hai, thanks for having me Amy! Truth be told, I was baffled when I was notified I had won the LIITA category, like; Spectral Illusion did feel like one of the better fanfic one-shots I've written in a long, long time, but I had never expected it to rival the works of other contestants. All in all; I was s h a k i n g ~.

Understandably so! It was well deserved too - Spectral Illusion truly is a wonderful story. Was there a specific inspiration or motivation behind writing the plot?

To be fair, Spectral Illusion's plot is the result of watching a documentary centred around paranoia, which, paired with my "current" interest in mental decline during my SI-writing days, flowed into the beginnings of its plot; namely, slowly dragging Matsukaze Tenma through a series of mental endeavours - which he unconsciously tried to block out, unknowingly waging a war with the traumatic event that had occurred.

I am curious, I find Matsukaze Tenma to be an interesting choice to write about mental decline. Any specific reasons why you chose him and did you ever consider a different character as well?

Ah, while a vast array of different characters, combinations, either from the original series or the GO seasons would have worked marvellously- none would be as fitting a character as Tenma. His optimistic, happy-go-lucky attitude makes for the perfect material since the effects of Spectral Illusion's tragic events slowly start to sink in along the way, leading to some noticeable changes. >:) #RipTenma,ButImmaSadist.

It really was a clever choice of character - to see such a bubbly character written in a way that portrays the hidden cracks of darkness from him was absolutely refreshing to read. Especially with your characterisation of Tenma and Tsurugi - how do you get your characterisation well done? Any tips and tricks for fellow writers out there?

Personally, I'm thoroughly convinced that a lot of current fanfic writers, well, y'know, try to write Tenma and Tsurugi's characters as they want them to be, primarily for story/ship purposes. However, I'm strongly opposed to this type of characterisation, as this, in the long-run of the story will lead to either character giving off this seemingly "unnatural" air. While Tenma's character is a far cry from Tsurugi's more complex-to-write persona (due to the initial distant Tsundere-turns-good-friend attitude), both their personalities should be respected if one wishes to properly utilise these characters for their fanfics. I remember, I read their entire wiki page a couple of time, rewatched some dialogue scenes to analyse their speaking patterns/habits.

All in all, know what you're working with, if you don't have a solid grasp on your source material, the product won't be dazzling. After all, in a similar fashion to a building requiring a strong foundation, so do stories, and these come in the form of well-executed characters.

I agree wholeheartedly with you. Out of curiosity, what was your favorite part of the entire story? Perhaps a specific section that you enjoyed writing overall?

My, my, there were various snippets of the one-shot that I loved writing - even if they were soul-crushing to the characters. One part, in particular, the moment Tenma is, technically speaking, home-alone at Aki's manor. At first glance, it seems perfectly normal for Tsurugi not to be thirsty and thus refusing to get a drink- though, after reaching the end; Tenma opening the door for Tsurugi, turning down the glass of water, etcetera gets a deeper, more ominous second meaning. It's a devious twist.

Then, of course, we have the graveyard scene, mwhahaha. My inner sadist truly enjoyed writing that part; from the moment the realisation of recent events finally caught up with Tenma to the immediate breakdown. While the tragedy was not over the top, I felt as though it needed time for everything to dawn on Tenma; which inevitably postponed his breakdown to offscreen SI.

Alrighty! Thank you so much for letting me interview you! One last question, is there anything you'd like to say for the Inazuma Eleven writing community?

Truth be told, ever since I discontinued my fanfiction works and began focusing primarily on new works, I have lost taps on the Inazuma Eleven writing community as a whole, however, if there is anything that I could say is to never let doubt obstruct your development, one is often too harsh of a critic when it comes to their own work- so, accept your work's imperfections because these imperfections are what make your works stand out from the crowd. :> Also, sorry not sorry for leaving x.

Spectral Illusion can be read here.

[sparrowsabre7]

Say Something Nice About Every Star War part 4 Revenge of the Sith

The opening crawl starts with a fun single exclamation. “War!”

The silent shot of the Venator class Star Destroyer over Coruscant*, followed by drums and then the interceptors flying over its bow and spiralling into chaos remains I think my favourite opening of any Star Wars film. Yes, A New Hope’s is more iconic and is still great, but ROTS’ is the perfect synergy of all of that.

I love the design of the interceptors, I like that they are almost like the bastard children of A-wings and TIE fighters. The ARC-170 is cool too, making that classic warplane noise with its engines.

The duel with Dooku parallels Luke vs Vader in Return of the Jedi very nicely. Anakin and Luke are both faced with the same decision, being goaded by Palpatine, but while Anakin gives in to his anger, Luke ultimately rejects it. 

“His fate will be the same as ours” is such a great foreshadowing line. Like sure, it’s weird Lucas dialogue, but it works here. 

General Grievous is a great design, though I wish he had been a bit more like his Clone Wars (Tartakovsky) counterpart. 

Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen are finally allowed to sell the friendship in this one. No more chiding master and unruly student, they work together well, they bounce off each other, we get the sense they are seasoned veterans now. 

We have another moment in Padme’s apartment where Anakin lays his feelings bare. It’s interesting that the two times he’s most honest about his emotions is when he’s in Padme’s bedroom. 

“Hello there!” 

Obi-wan’s pose in the Grievous duel.

Shorter than it should have been but the duel is still fun to watch

Anakin’s conversation with Palpatine in the squid lake opera is moody and atmospheric and Ian McDiarmid sells this moment really well. Yes, he’s being very blatant about his Sith knowledge, but I feel like that’s deliberate. He wants Anakin to figure it out, he wants him to come to him of his own accord. 

The Battle of Kashyyyk is very nicely laid out with the trenches and the droids emerging from the water. Just visually very interesting, a lot of stuff going on. 

The silent (or it was silent until the blu-ray release) scene of Anakin and Padme staring across Coruscant to each other is probably the most soulful and thoughtful scene Lucas has filmed since Binary Sunset. This notion of the separation between them and how this moment is not centred on love but uncertainty. I feel this would probably have hit better on Padme’s end if the Rebellion senators subplot was left in as that also contributes to their division.

I like the little flickshot hidden lightsaber reveal from Palpatine. Something about it just satisfies me. 

Mace Windu finally gets a duel, even if it is a little leisurely paced

Though it sort of stumbles in the final moment, all the steps to get to Anakin’s turn worked for me: it came from a place of good intentions, but those intentions were clouded by jealousy and fear. With the puzzle pieces put in place from Attack of the Clones it’s reasonable to me that Anakin would want to save his wife from death.

Circling back, I like that when Anakin says Padme will die, her first reaction is “and the baby?”. And Anakin doesn’t seem to care at this point, he’s so focused on keeping Padme, he doesn’t want to lose the thing he has, not what he might have. That right there points out this drive to save Padme is not driven so much by love, but by selfishness.

Order 66 montage is crushing and John Williams does not let up. 

Yoda riding Chewbacca’s back is funny. 

Ewan McGregor trying hard not to laugh at “killing younglings.”

The dual duels are both really fun to watch. No they don’t always make sense from a choreography point of view, but they are entertaining. 

Yoda vs Palpatine still makes the 7 year old in me go crazy.

Yoda’s “failed I have” sounds so broken. 

Though it’s cheesy as hell the whole lead up dialogue to Obi-wan vs Vader still hypes me up each time. 

“YoUr nEw EMpIRe!?”

Ewan sells the “your were my brother” dialogue, even though some of it is a little Lucasian.

Intercutting Padme’s death with Vader’s birth/Anakin’s death with the twins’ birth is a nice parallel. 

That *wheeze* THUNK noise when the helmet goes on. 

Padme’s funeral with the japor snippet is nicely framed

The Harry Potter scene at the end apes Binary Sunset in a satisfying way to end the Lucas saga that brings it full circle. 

*Does this actually make Coruscant the only planet to be featured in the opening crawl pan twice? I - Naboo, II - Coruscant, III - Coruscant, IV - Tatooine, V - I think nothing at first before getting to Hoth, VI - Forest moon of Endor, VII - Jakku, VIII - D’Qar, IX - Mustafar

[kyluxtrashpit]

K so I said I might write a post about what I wanted from ep 9 and then I ended up doing it. So this is essentially a summary of the movie I would’ve made if someone gave me that ability. It’s not fully fleshed out, but I literally could not stop myself from typing it out once I starting piecing it together lmao

Even though this is my own creation, I still consider this a spoilery post SO WARNING FOR RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS RIGHT HERE

I still think the best thing to do with ep 9 would be to centre it on the FO falling apart instead of ‘oh no daddy palps is back :o’. Truth be told, I’d rewrite TLJ too if I could, but I’m going to try to work within its constraints on this as well as keep some tros stuff intact for the sake of trying to work with it. So here’s the basic plot of what I would’ve liked to see:

Kylo undermining and removing authority from Hux while he focuses on Force stuff. He’s still looking for secrets and holocrons, but there’s no palpatine

Meanwhile the Resistance is working on building up their forces and helping the little people, plus trying to get info to take down the FO

The focus of the Resistance side is them trying to get the strength to face the FO and working together and all that good stuff. Focus more on the small acts of goodness in the galaxy that bring people together and end up with those they help joining the Resistance. That’s where they get their strength

Rey’s story would also be mostly about mastering the Force (and Leia still helps to train her) and the love and family she’s found among the Resistance. She’s still stupidly powerful though. I’d love to make her a Skywalker, but hell, it’d even work if she remained a nobody. TLJ was her crucible; she knows who she is now. She doesn’t need anyone else to tell or write her story for her

Also I really want her to go grey jedi. So maybe she realizes what Luke really meant: it was time for the jedi not truly to end, but to change. To embrace emotion without losing themselves to it. To realize that the only true way to achieve balance is not by staying light in order to defeat the dark, but instead learning to master both and keeping the balance within herself. That way, when the darkness is defeated, it won’t need to rise again: true balance. This would be her growth in the story, to learn how to embrace true balance in the Force

Also Finn’s story is still going to focus on the Stormtroopers (and Jannah can 100% still be there). So he finds Jannah and her team in Act 1, and then in Act 2 they unearth some secrets as to how Stormtroopers are brainwashed. Conditioning can’t be broken out of by will alone; Finn was Force sensitive. But something else happened with Jannah and her company. An idea is born: could they recreate that on a large scale and free them all? That’d be a huge blow to the FO and it would save all those troopers who never had a choice in what to be

Poe’s focus would still be on becoming the leader they need him to be, with lots of fun trio moments. So his wouldn’t actually change that much, but nothing about him being a drug dealer. I’m sure Zori could still be worked in but tbh I didn’t feel she added much to the plot

Rose is there a lot more too and comes along on all their adventures, happy to liberate anyone they can. She’s always been in it for the little people and that’s where she shines

Also Kylo is even more erratic, even more lost. He feels torn apart all over again. He’s not doing well as SL; he thought it would make things clearer, but it didn’t. He’s unstable and feral, focusing on all the wrong things and making bad choices because of it

Near the end of Act 1 of the movie, Hux betrays Kylo in a near deadly fashion, but Kylo manages to escape by the skin of his teeth

The Resistance gets word of a civil war within the FO. It;s Hux’s fleet (the red troopers + newer FO officers) vs Kylo’s fleet (mostly the older imperials who remember Vader + the KOR – you can keep Pryde here too if you want). This is their chance. They can take advantage of the chaos

While Kylo recovers from Hux’s attack, he starts having doubts again. Nothing has felt right since he became SL but what other choice does he have? He can’t go back, can he? He’s not supposed to want to. And even if he did, he’s too far gone to ever be welcomed, even by his own mother. So he continues fighting against Hux, more harried and haunted than ever

This situation degrades quickly. Both sides are getting hits in, but Hux is winning. Worse yet: it’s spilling over and doing collateral damage. Places controlled by the FO are being exploited, even worse atrocities being committed against them in this rapid arms race to superiority

Hell, maybe Hux’s fleet still has those planet-destroying canons like Palps’ fleet cause why not, everyone seems to think SW needs a superweapon in it. Anyway

There’d be more development on the heroes’ side as I detailed above here. Rey helping people and learning to be grey. Finn discovering the secrets of the Stormtrooper program. Poe becoming a leader. Rose comes with them on their journeys. Leia is heard rather than seen for the most part; she’s surviving this time around, but her presence is felt through her messages and dialogue snippets rather than physically being in the scenes. Some of the footage could be used, especially her hug with Rey, but I’d use much less of it

The Resistance knows they have to hurry. Do they have enough people? They have no idea, but they’re gonna try anyway. They have to. And you can still have Lando do basically the same thing; show up, be cool, then go get some more people

I’d like to do more with the KOR too, but tbh I’m not sure how other than just some scenes of them and Kylo doing Ren Stuff (whatever that may be). But there’d definitely be something

Near the end of Act 2, there’s a particularly brutal fight. I’d want Kylo and the KOR on the ground here, doing their shit. It feels kinda cheap to have him almost die again but tros also had 2 death fake outs for Kylo before the actual death so fuck it lmao. He thinks he’s going to win (maybe Hux is even there? Or maybe Phasma is revived? Or even just some fancy trooper akin to FN-2199 or something. Maybe it’s even Force-nullifying tech), but then the last minute he gets his shit wrecked

He’s dying. He reaches out with the Force, violently, affecting everyone. Rey hears it through the shattered bond. Finn even hears it, though faintly. It hits Leia hardest of all

Meanwhile, Kylo sees the ghost of Anakin instead of a vision of Han. Anakin, who knows better than anyone what it is to turn to the dark, but also what it is to turn away from it. The scene would still play out similarly, but not mirror the past scene with Han so much

(Look, I know a lot of people don’t like bendemption, but I think that redemption is always possible as long as it’s written well. And that applies to pretty much any character. TROS just needed more time to develop it, which I am attempting to do here by showing Kylo’s instability at the beginning)

Anakin manages to heal Kylo enough to bring him back from the brink of death, but not fully. I don’t think I want Kylo to toss away his lightsaber, but he still could. Regardless, there’s some sort of symbolic gesture to prove he’s changed his mind

A ship arrives: it’s the Resistance. Finn and Poe are cautious, but Rey doesn’t fear him. She confronts him about this sudden change of heart, but she can feel his sincerity. So she reassures Finn and Poe and they bring him along, though no one is really happy about it. They fix him up

With Kylo’s fleet all but destroyed, Hux is ready to take out the Resistance and everyone who sympathizes. Now perhaps we have a planet the trio had previously visited get destroyed. There’s still an ultimatum from the FO to obey or die. It’s a crackdown. A final act to ensure domination of the galaxy. Hell, you can even still call it the Final Order if you want to

The Resistance now strikes. Lando’s getting more back up, if he can, but they take who they’ve got. Kylo is there and there’s a lot of mistrust (could be played for humour too) but not enough time to get into it. They need to do this or too many will die. If he tries anything, Rey will strike him down and she tells him so. She’s done listening to his attempts to get under her skin

This Kylo is also definitely more Ben (I’m mixed on whether he should just go back to his old name or not so I’m keeping him Kylo for the sake of this summary). There’s guilt, though. A lot of it. You can see it on his face and in what he says. But helping to fix this will be a start. His crimes aren’t forgotten; he wants to make up for them however he can

Also Finnrey happens. They kiss before the fight this time and it’s very cute and romantic

So basically the end fight is Resistance fleet vs FO fleet. Poe is leading the charge. Meanwhile, Finn, Jannah, Rose and company sneak on to try to end FO conditioning. Rey and Kylo also sneak on; they’re going for Hux and the elite troops he uses as guards

Hux is going to have to have Force-nullifying tech of some sort (which I think is extremely underused in the SW universe as a whole btw). But he underestimates what Rey (powerful as fuck) and Kylo (Skywalker) are capable of

I’m not 100% sure how this fight plays out but I think I want Rey and Kylo to take out Hux’s elite troops without being able to use the Force. It’d be a fun struggle to watch and also make the fight much more visceral and difficult for them. But they both know how to fight, so they win

On the other side, Finn, Jannah, and Rose manage to do whatever to free the Stormtroopers from mind control (I’m not sure exactly how this would happen, but it’s star wars, it doesn’t need to make much sense). We get the first stage of a full trooper rebellion. They go after the officers immediately

Outside, Poe is struggling, just like in tros. They might lose this. Even if the landing party wins, there’s just too many of them. Cue Lando bringing a big fleet to help and giving us an epic space battle

Back inside: something exciting happens and it turns into a struggle between Hux’s tech and their combined Force powers. This is how I think it should go:

Kylo gives Rey his Force powers, which knocks him unconscious. Rey now has the power to break through on her own. It shouldn’t be possible. She sends out a concussive blast that knocks Hux back. The ideal here would be Hux being captured and taken in alive to be tried for war crimes, but I know that’s asking too much lmao so

If I can’t have definitively alive Hux: Rey approaches him but the ship makes a buckling noise; her Force powers compromised the structural integrity. Debris falls, obscuring Hux (and probably implying it killed him), and she knows it’s time to run. Kylo also comes to around this moment and follows

(And for real, I’m also okay with Hux dying for sure here, because at least he got to have his day first, but this is fantasy land lmao so I’m just not gonna have it happen as far as that goes)

Finn, Jannah, and Rose lead the stormtroopers onto transports as the ship starts falling apart. Rey and Kylo (and Hux, if I got my way) show up and make it in too. They take off and make it out just as the Finalizer crumples. Everyone lives! (Plus Hux is plausibly still alive even if I can’t have him definitely alive sdkfsdkl)

They call for the fleet to stop; the Stormtroopers on every destroyer are rising up, freed from their shackles. Shot of FO officers tied up and captured as the Stormtroopers, without their helmets, celebrate

A sidenote: I can’t decide whether I want Kylo to have lost his Force powers permanently by giving them to Rey or for him to get them back. I think losing them would be a good act of sacrificial penance, but at the same time, I’m not sure if that’s a thing so lmao. I’m open to possibilities here

End bit would still be a celebration. Rey and Finn and Poe still hug. The Stormtroopers are happy. We can still have that moment with Lando and Jannah; the implication of trying to find where every one of the troopers came from. The FO officers have been imprisoned. Everything is right in the galaxy again

Now there’s one more scene with Kylo: he stands in front of a door, looking pensive, squeezing and unsqueezing his hands into fists. The shot moves to his back and the door opens. You can’t see what’s inside but you hear: “Ben?” followed by a pause, and then a small, broken “Mom.”. He steps inside and starts to fall to his knees. End scene

Now, as a last scene, we could still do Rey having a funeral for Luke on Tatooine and keep the ending shot basically the same except Leia and her saber aren’t there because Leia is alive. Rey could still decide to be a Skywalker if she’s a nobody. The shot of two suns. The End.

[ayantiel]

2, 4, 10, 14 For Tyrvar and Saoirse! (Apologies if I misspelled their names, I love them but I have the worst memory)

<3 no worries, you got them both right!This is gonna be a long one, so I’ll put this under a readmore

2. Post a line of dialogue from your OC.

So I misread this at first and read “a bit of dialogue” so here; have more than a couple of lines of dialogue from them. Or rather, Tyrvar has dialogue, Saoirse more a monologue cause I haven’t gotten around to writing her scenes yet.Tyrvar, when he first realises he might have feelings for Bull.--“Wait… Do you have feelings for me?”

Mierda. Tyrvar thanked the Creators that his skin was dark enough that it hid his blush most of the time.

“I have multiple feelings every day of my life,” he tried to say casually, but the effect was a bit ruined by the fact that he was very decidedly avoiding Bull’s gaze.

“And these days, do those feelings concern me in particular?”

“…Fuck,” Tyrvar muttered.

Bull smiled. “We’ll get to that,” he said, making Tyrvar snort a nervous laugh.

“Uhm, maybe?” Tyrvar said. “I don’t fucking know honestly. Feelings are weird and confusing and I don’t understand shems and their focus on romance and saying stuff like “more than friends.” What is that even supposed to mean? I love my friends with varying degrees of intensity and it feels different for all of them too. How the fuck am I supposed to know when something isn’t friendship when friendship doesn’t feel the same as friendship? And then it gets even more complicated cause having sex doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any romantic feelings either. I mean, we started sleeping together before we were even friends, and then we became friends, and I’m really confused and — please stop laughing.”

Bull had flopped back down on the bed and his chest was shaking with laughter. And alright, it was a little bit funny. Maybe.

“Feelings are weird,” Tyrvar finally said, somewhat defensively. He prayed to all the gods in the Pantheon that his blush wasn’t as intense as the heat he felt in his cheeks.

“True that,” Bull said, sounding really casual about it.

“I might be overthinking it a little,” Tyrvar admitted. “But honestly I have no fucking clue. People always talk as if feelings are easily discernible from one another, like you always know exactly what it is you feel and understand what’s going on in your head. Maybe others do” — Bull gave a snort.

“Doubtful,” he said. It made Tyrvar feel at least a little better about his confusion on the matter.

“— Or maybe people are full of shit,” he continued with a smile. “I honestly don’t know what I feel for you. I may be a bit of a mess,” he concluded.

“Nah. Most people simplify things because it makes them feel better to pretend life is easier than it actually is. Doesn’t mean they’re actually right about it.”

Saoirse, the first letter she writes to Tyrvar after the Conclave explosion.--Dear Tonto,Thank you for your letter. I’m so glad to hear that you are well. When word reached us of the conclave explosion, we all feared the worst. We still worry for you. The Keeper especially. She won’t say it but I know she feels guilty for setting you on this path, even if no one could have anticipated what would happen. Especially the whole ‘Herald’ business. You’ll be happy to hear your letter amused Caél to no end. When he heard that the shemlen now call you ‘your worship’ I think he must have laughed for hours. I still hear him snigger and mutter ‘your worship’ under his breath occasionally as he shakes his head. He says to tell you to ‘shoot a shem’ for him. Please don’t shoot any shems. At least not ones wearing Inquisition armour. They might think you are their Herald now, but I doubt you want to test how far their hospitality goes.We all miss you, but the children most of all. I think they miss their partner in crime. Fay’elle keeps asking when you’re coming back to show her how to string a bow. She refuses to sit for any lessons because she says you promised to teach her. Don’t worry, she’ll come around. Just keep sending letters. The children, all of us, love to hear from you.You were always the happiest when surrounded by people, but I can imagine that even if you have no lack for company, it must be lonely there. So I asked hahren Mera’vun if I could send you something so you can carry a bit of home with you wherever you go. Caél suggested something practical and I tend to agree. Something to keep you safe. So, enclosed you’ll find schematics and some materials to make our clan’s traditional hunter armour. Your Inquisition’s blacksmith should be able to make something out of it.May the Creators watch over you, lethallin.All my love,Saoirse

4. Post a snippet from your writing in which another OC describes your OC.

I don’t really have snippets ready where Tyrvar and Saoirse are described by other OCs, but lemme see if I can’t write something up right now.--Saoirse to Tyrvar:“Tonto, you’re far too clever for your own good when it comes to getting yourself in and out of trouble. But when it comes to your own heart, you’re an absolute idiot.”

Tyrvar about Saoirse:“Don’t let that calm demeanor fool you. She grew up with me and Caél; we might have been a storm but she was the centre. And she’ll drink you under the table too.”

10. You are conducting a ritual. What 5 items would you need to summon your OC?

Tyrvar:A bow or arrow, rope, a carved figure of a bear (or an actual bear if you can manage it lmao), some elfroot (or other healing herbs), and Bull’s horn balm.

Saoirse:A staff, something with written elvhen even if it’s just a nursery rhyme, the small stuffed animal that vaguely resembles a halla that Krem made for her, the finely woven shawl she got from Josie, and a box of Antivan chocolates.

14. What is one of your OC’s secrets?

Hmm tough one. Neither of them have many secrets; Saoirse because she would claim she’s boring :’) And Tyrvar because he’s just shameless lmao

The one thing that comes to mind isn’t so much a secret as just something that they don’t discuss, especially with outsiders. It’s the fact that Sirideán, Tyrvar’s father, turned into an abomination the day he saved Tyrvar from Tevinter slavers. Saoirse, together with the Keeper, fought him off and eventually killed him.

They both carry hidden emotional baggage from that. Tyrvar’s is that he feels guilty for still having nightmares about his own father, who was only trying to save him.Saoirse’s is that she fears part of Tyrvar blames her for Sirideán’s death.

wow that went from fun to angst real quick. woops

[mybctexperience]

Short Film Project Part 2

The Script to our Short Film.

Not a lot of it ended up used in the final cut.

Scene order:

1. Finds robot on street corner - Victoria

2. Talking to the shopkeeper - Victoria

3. Takes back/what to repair - Liam

4. Repairing robot montage - Liam

5. First time turning on robot/coffee - Liam

6. Further Repairs - V

7. Bumps into robot/interaction - V

8. Tries to get information from the robot - Sam

9. Casual joking, insiteing friendship. - Sam

10. Shows past owners lives - Rachel

11. Abandonment - Rachel

12. Meaningful interaction - Caitlin

Script Key:

[ ... ] Scenes beginning and ending.

< … > Things going on, and direction.

“ … “ Dialogue

( … ) Diegetic sounds

| … | Context

ELISE is the MECHANIC

JO is the Optimistic Scavenger

SCOTT is the Pessimistic Scavenger

Both JO and SCOTT are PREVIOUS OWNERS

1. Finds Robot on Street Corner: - OUTDOORS

[Scene Start:]

(City sounds - Footsteps - police siren - indistinct conversations- industrial noises)

| SCENE OPENS start with sound fade from black into establishing shot of urban area |

| Ideally shoot this around 4-5 pm to get the correct mood lighting is important |

< cut to ground level shot, following footsteps- down alley way >

(muffle other sounds, highlight footsteps)

< Shot follow through from right to left >

<  cut to shot pans down to say hip height down to something more of an over the shoulder type shot but from a little bit further back to the perspective of the ROBOT with MECHANIC approaching >

< Have ROBOT in focus >

< Have MECHANIC out of focus as they approach shot should include no more than maximum of the MECHANIC from the waist down >

< Lamp over head flickers over the robot, Mechanic stops  >

< ground level shot - from behind MECHANIC, MECHANIC is in the centre of the shot, or rather their lower legs are. >

< MECHANIC bends down to pick the ROBOT UP >

< MECHANIC LEAVES SHOT >

| Scene fades to black and displays title of film |

( previous sounds are faded out replaced by a blues themed guitar backing track |  I will work on finding several appropriate ones for y'all to choose from- Vic | )

[Scene End:]

2. Talking to the Shopkeeper:

[Scene Start:]

( Once the music ends new appropriate backing track plays softly in background )

< shot of door opening >

(bell jingles- signaling someone has entered)

< cut to shot of MECHANIC “dumping” ROBOT on SHOPKEEPER’s BENCH >

< Ideally shot only displays the ROBOT with minimal view of the MECHANIC of SHOPKEEPER >

< mid shot of SHOPKEEPER being VISIBLY STARTLED by the appearance of the MECHANIC and ROBOT >

( Crashing noises, disrupt background music )

SHOPKEEPER: “Crumbs! What the bloody hell do you think the time is??”

< shot of MECHANIC standing unimpressed - arms crossed - as she watches the SHOPKEEPER take a better look at the ROBOT >

MECHANIC: “One: Give me my share from the last bot I gave you. Two: Found this on the side of the street”

SHOPKEEPER: “And you’re tell me this because?”

< SHOPKEEPER continues to examine the ROBOT >

MECHANIC: “Its an old model. An old relatively intact model. Rare in this day in age.”

SHOPKEEPER: “Well that's some bloody good luck you got there... You lookin’ for a buyer?” |preferably same shot but combining the last line and this action in its own shot before returning to the previous one also works. |

< SHOPKEEPER looks up at MECHANIC, somewhat hopefully >

MECHANIC: “Depends on how fast you find me one”

SHOPKEEPER: “Thats a deal if I’ve ever seen one”

< cut to overhead shot of MECHANIC  and SHOPKEEPER shaking hands, having the ROBOT being subtly in the shot would be ideal >

[Scene End:]

3. Robot Taken Home:

[Scene Start:]

| The robot is taken home |

< Shot from the inside of the WORKSHOP garage door opened by the MECHANIC. >

< The MECHANIC puts ROBOT down on the end of the table, inspects and begins to poke around and fix stuff. >

[Scene End:]

4. Repairing robot montage:

[Scene Start:]

< Camera is unmoving as the MECHANIC does various alterations on ROBOT. Several short clips of the MECHANIC doing things such as using a screwdriver, taking cover on/off, turning screen around. >

[Scene End:]

5. Coffee Contact:

[Scene Start:]

< Fiddlely finishing touches with the ROBOT’s screen. >

< ROBOT eventually turns on, set on main screen, but doesn’t do anything. >

< The MECHANIC is happy but exasperated/frustrated at the ROBOT’s unresponsiveness. >

ELISE: “God I need some coffee.”

< ROBOT suddenly displays a short clip of his previous owner holding a cup of coffee. >

PREVIOUS OWNER: (“...coffee…”)

ELISE: “Yes!”

< ROBOT switches off. The MECHANIC is annoyed. >

ELISE: “I guess there's still more work to do.”

< Goes to get some coffee. > OR < Gets back to her work. >

[Scene End:]

6. Further Repairs:

[Scene Start:]

| After initial coffee contact she gives up after trying for hours to get a response from screen, its completely unresponsive. Giving up she is working on another project or maybe a part for the robot working on a circuit board she burns herself with a soldering iron loudly cursing fuck!!! This gets a reaction from robot playing a clip saying Language, then shorts and turns off again, then repair montage, then conversation part. |

| For going and getting coffee in the last scene ending | < MECHANIC enters the WORKSHOP with her coffee, puts it down and tries to turn the ROBOT on. >

< MECHANIC tries to get the ROBOT to respond. >

ELISE: “Coffee?” “Hello?” “Anyone there?”

< After a while she gives up trying to get a response from the ROBOT screen. >

< Works on repairing it for a while longer. >

< A few really short shots of her fiddling with the ROBOT. >

< Turns the ROBOT on and tries to get a response from it again. Frustratedly. >

ELISE: “Oh, come on!” “Coffee!”

< Shoves mug in front of the ROBOT’s screen. Still frustratedly. >

ELISE: “Fine then!”

< The MECHANIC goes and focuses on another project. Leaving the ROBOT screen turned on. >

[Scene End:]

7. Bumps into Robot/Interaction:

[Scene Starts:]

| Giving up she is working on another project or maybe a part for the robot working on a circuit board she burns herself with a soldering iron loudly cursing fuck!!! This gets a reaction from robot playing a clip saying Language, then shorts and turns off again, then repair montage, then conversation part. |

< The MECHANIC is working on some other project. A shot of that. >

< The MECHANIC gets burnt. Frustratedly. >

ELISE: “Fuck!”

< The ROBOT suddenly responds with displays a PREVIOUS OWNER scolding someone. >

PREVIOUS OWNER: (“...Language!...”)

< MECHANIC gets startled, and overjoyed. She spins around. >

ELISE: “Ah Ha! I knew you could respond!”

< She gets closer and peers at the ROBOT’s screen. >

[Scene Ends:]

8. Tries to get Information From the Robot:

[Scene Start:]

< ROBOT has it’s main screen showing. >

ELISE:  "So, do you understand everything I say?"

< ROBOT shows clip sippets. Staticy and out of sequence. >

(Staticy out of sequence clip snippets)

ELISE:  "Is something still broken?”

< MECHANIC looks around the robot to see if she’s missed anything. >

ELISE: "It doesn’t seem like it."

< Waves hand in front of the ROBOTt's screen. >

ELISE: "Will you respond if I ask you a few questions?"

< ROBOT’s visual stays unchanging. >

ELISE: "Still nothing."

< MECHANIC shrugs, ready to give up again. >

ELISE: "This is getting nowhere.”

< ROBOT’s screen flickers. Plays video of the PREVIOUS OWNERS. >

PREVIOUS OWNERS: (“Hello there…”)

< MECHANIC surprised, then pleased. >

ELISE:  "Uh, okay..." “That’s a start.” "So... Uh, is everything operational?"

< ROBOT plays a clip. Sarcastically. >

PREVIOUS OWNER: (“Yes, everything is working fiiiine.”)

ELISE: (laughs) “Nicely said.”

[Scene End:]

9. Casual Joking, Insiteing Friendship:

[Scene Start:]

ELISE: “Good to know that you have some sense of humour.”

< MECHANIC smiles. >

ELISE: "Okay so, who built you?”

< ROBOT plays a video of the PREVIOUS OWNERS kinda introducing themselves. >

JO: “- Introductions are in order!”

SCOTT: “You do remember it can’t actually say anything, right?”

JO: “I dunno, beeps could kinda be words, maybe? Anyway, hey! I’m Jo – Joanna to my mother – it’s nice to meet you! And that grumpy man over there’s my gross cousin, Scott. We’re dirty scavengers who crawl through people’s techno garbage and find the good stuff to sell, which you’ll help with!”

SCOTT: “You didn’t need to explain it’s job, idiot. We’ve literally programmed it in-”

< MECHANIC is fascinated, and checks over ROBOT again with this new knowledge. >

ELISE: “Huh, okay. So you use past experiences to communicate. Okay then.” “And, you were built to help scavenge for parts?"

< MECHANIC is fascinated, and checks over the ROBOT again with this new knowledge. >

ELISE: “Wow, okay. I’m not quite sure how, but okay then.” “So, when I found you, you looked like you’d been on the street for a while.You’ve definitely lost parts from what you’ve explained. Were you functioning enough to know how long you’d been out there?”

< ROBOT does not respond. >

ELISE: “I’ll take that as a ‘No.’ then.” “Wait, then why were you left destroyed on the street?”

< ROBOT’s screen flickers. >

[Scene End:]

10. Shows Past Owners Lives:

[Scene Start:]

SCOTT: “Alright, I think it’s… on.”

< The screen bursts to life and shows PREVIOUS OWNERS crouching in front of the camera. SCOTT is fiddling with the robot’s wiring offscreen. JO smiles at ROBOT >

JO: “Nice! Introductions are in order!”

< The scene dissolves to static and changes. > [Mini Scene End:] [Mini Scene Start:]

JO: “How you doing? Life going good?”

SCOTT: “Are you pretending the robot can talk again?”

JO: “You do it too!”

SCOTT: “Proof?”

JO: “I catch you in the act one day you smug son of a-”

< Static. > [Mini Scene Start:]

SCOTT: (greets ROBOT in some way – asks if the update is going smoothly possibly)

< JO bursts into frame, pointing an accusing finger at SCOTT. ROBOT turns towards her entering, causing SCOTT to whip around to see what is behind him. >

JO: “Hah! I got you!”

< Static. > [Mini Scene End:] [Mini Scene End:]

< JO, followed by ROBOT, walks up to SCOTT, the motion tracked by the camera. She is holding out some e-waste proudly.

JO: “Look what I got! Robot picked it up. I think it’ll sell for enough to pay all the bills this week. If we get our hands on something else good we could fix the cooker.”

< SCOTT does not look impressed. >

SCOTT: “Or, they’ll rip us off again and-”

< Static. > [Mini Scene End:] [Mini Scene Start:]

< SCOTT walks into the room where JO is trying to fix and/or do something. >

JO: “Scott! Hi! Did you get the factory job?”

SCOTT shakes his head.

SCOTT: “I told you they wouldn’t want me. Far as they know I’m a deadbeat with no credentials and no experience. Tell them I’m a scavenger and they think I’m violent and diseased. We can’t win with those people. We both know there aren’t even enough jobs here. Neither of us’ll ever be hired.”

JO: “No, I don’t believe that. One day someone will see we aren’t worthless – cuz we’re not – and we won’t ever have to look at e-waste again. Robofriend agrees with me, don’t you?”

< ROBOT makes a sound of confirmation. > [Mini Scene End:]

< Static. > [Mini Scene Start:]

< SCOTT and JO are sitting on a couch, JO is hanging upside down, SCOTT is drinking whiskey. Both look tired but content. >

JO: (a little worried but not overly concerned) “Seriously, I think you’ve had enough for tonight.”

SCOTT: (slurring somewhat) “Shut up. I’m fine.”

< Static. > [Mini Scene End:] [Mini Scene Start:]

< PREVIOUS OWNERS are settling down after a day’s work. SCOTT has already gotten himself a drink of some kind and has sat down. JO takes off her coat and her nose wrinkles at the smell. >

JO: “Do you think I could convince Eddie to turn on the water back on for a bit?”

SCOTT: “Are you kidding, Jo?”

JO: “Just for, like, twenty minutes. We smell like garbage-”

SCOTT: “Well, we have been sorting through actual trash so…”

JO: “Yeah, the smell might convince him!”

SCOTT: “He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Unless you have the cash to pay the water bill you won’t change anything.”

JO: “I can try!”

< Static. > [Mini Scene End:] [Mini Scene Start:]

< Unlike previous scenes in their house PREVIOUS OWNERS are walking through the city, followed closely by ROBOT. Both are holding bags of e-waste and are dirty, indicating they are returning from scavenging. The atmosphere is tense despite the number of things they have scavenged. > - OUTDOORS

JO: “Best haul we’ve had all month.”

< JO does not sound as enthusiastic as she normally does. SCOTT does not seem to notice immediately. >

SCOTT: “Yeah, should keep us going for a while.”

JO: (mumbling) “Maybe if you didn’t buy so much…”

SCOTT: “What?”

JO: |tersely| “Nothing.”

< This angers SCOTT, who was already on edge. >

SCOTT: “No, you don’t get to shut me down. You’ve been like this for days! Clearly, it’s something, so c’mon! What is it?”

JO: “You wanna know what it is? Fine! You’ve gotten drunk nearly every night this week. You even realise that? You can’t keep doing this! I’m sick of it!”

SCOTT: “Wait, this is your problem? It’s my cut, first off. I can do what I want with it! And you’re sick of me? Maybe I’m tired of dealing with your bullshit too! Think about that? You piss around, act like a child.” |mockingly| “‘Oh, everything’s fine!’ Nothing is fine! So what if I drink, huh? It’s my choice.”

JO: “Why do you always give up like this? I hate it. Ugh. I just want you to stop doing this! This isn’t coping, okay? I’m worried about you!”

SCOTT: “Oh, are you? About time you-”

< ROBOT is knocked over suddenly with a loud clang by one of the violent scavengers that had been tailing them and lands on the ground. The screen statics in and out of the scene, as legs shuffle around the robot. The scavengers try to fight off the other violent scavengers but SCOTT falls to the ground, accompanied by a loud crunch of some sort of break. >

JO: “Ah,” (breathes heavily) “Ow. They took our stuff. Dammit! Can’t just find their own? We- we needed it. Scott? Scott, are you okay? Hey, wake up! C’mon, Scott, please! You’re okay! Wake up!”

[Scene End:]

11. Abandonment: - OUTDOORS

[Scene Start:]

< ROBOT gets to its feet, vision still a little fuzzy but focusing slowly. >

< JO comes into frame, hunched in on herself, and in the corner of the frame is SCOTT’S body, covered with JO’S coat. Blood seeps out from under it. >

< ROBOT makes a questioning beeping noise. >

< JO suddenly turns towards ROBOT, crying. Anger slowly creeps onto her face. >

JO: “You- Those scavengers, they followed us. They must have seen- and-”

< ROBOT steps forward and JO becomes visibly angrier. >

JO: “No! You- You should have warned us! You should have done something! But you just- They-”

< JO is shaking at this point. ROBOT takes another step forward. >

JO: “Stay away from me! It’s your fault! You did nothing and now Scott’s-”

< JO chokes on saying SCOTT’S name. ROBOT beeps softly but does not go any closer. >

JO: “They killed him and you did nothing! It’s your fault!”

< JO pushes ROBOT back and hits it. Her fist slams into metal and she winces. >

JO: |screaming| “It’s your fault! It’s your fault!”

< JO takes a step back and looks at ROBOT for a second before shaking her head. >

JO: “I can’t.”

< And she turns it off. The screen goes dark. >

[Scene End:]

12. Meaningful Interaction/Ending

[Scene Start:]

< Camera pans back from screen of ROBOT. Showing the MECHANIC intently watching the screen. >

< MECHANIC sits back. >

ELISE: “My gosh.”

< MECHANIC looks emotional, mildly distraught, and is taking in what they’ve just seen. >

ELISE: “I can see why you didn’t originally want to talk to me.”

< ROBOT does not respond. >

< Fade to Black >

[Scene End:]

I believe that the story was good, and solid. But our execution of the film left quite a lot to be desired.

[tinkdw]

Mary is the best mother figure they could wish for

Hear me out. 

Mary, by her absence, through her choices and ultimately NOT being what the brothers ever hoped she would be is leading them to some deep inner questioning, which is what they both need to move forwards if not what they want. 

In the end this is exactly why Amara / TBTB brought her back, because as we head into the endgame era there are things that need addressing that only be addressed from within. With Dean ‘sublimation’ Winchester and Sam ‘repression’ Winchester it would take something BIG to force them to do this. And it doesn't come much bigger than their mom, narratively, in the show.

DEAN ‘sublimation’ WINCHESTER

Dean’s inner demons centre around self acceptance. I have written a whole other post about Dean’s self worth here but basically Mary and Cas are key to this for him moving forwards (and are mirrors of each other this season). 

A key indicator of his self acceptance is the break down of performing!Dean which we are seeing so much of in s12. We have not just a whole episode dedicated to slapping us in the face with the fact that this exists (for those who don't do subtext) in 12x11 but they even TELL US OPENLY that sublimation ‘is kinda his thing’, on top of so many snippets where he is letting his true feelings show. OK, so its now CANON that performing!Dean exists. Why? To tear it down.

And what was a huge factor in performing!Dean? His emulation of John. So having Mary around is definitely going to have a huge impact on this story. 

1. Mary has already forced Dean to really think about how he feels towards her and how hurt he is by her actions. You can practically see the inner dialogue in his eyes at some points in s12.

He’s standing up for himself, calling her out, practically saying out loud that he thinks he DESERVES BETTER!

 And yes, he did ‘apologise’ to her at the end of 12x14 but really he's not vindicating her actions but acknowledging that he didn't put her in the right ‘box’ in his view of family. She had to call him out on it for him look within himself to figure this out. 

2. Cas has been a key component of Dean’s overall arc since his FIRST SCENE OF THE SHOW (and arguably was planned to be a key component since the pilot once he took over Anna’s planned role). 

“Good things do happen, Dean.... What’s the matter? YOU DON’T THINK YOU DESERVE TO BE SAVED?”

I mean, since their FIRST MEETING Cas has been validating Dean. He understood Dean’s lack of self worth within 2 minutes. I can't WAIT for this to be bookended and I would love it if they paralleled it properly, something like Dean asking CAS “you don't think you deserve to be loved?”. 

*OK I've stopped sobbing now, moving on*

So Cas is key to Dean’s self acceptance and also eventual Destiel in the obvious way through his sexuality. Even if you don't ship them or believe Dean is queer just allowing himself to be loved in the platonic way as family by someone who CHOOSES to (as per 12x12) is incredibly important to Dean’s self worth, especially when linked to Cas’s own overall arc of ‘falling for humanity’ because it’s DEAN who made him rebel, avert the apocalypse and choose humanity. 

I love how Crowley often gets my Dean-feels going (often his lines really hit a spot for me in terms of Dean’s inner dialogue) and his famous ‘I deserve to be loved’ moment really hits home for me. Dean should and WILL I am sure at some point either say this specifically or have it said to him. I wonder by who...

Mary and Cas are both key to Dean's self acceptance arc. Currently not only is Mary a s6 Cas mirror but they are incredibly interlinked and probably will be even more so when the supernatural / BMOL / Mary story comes to a head.

SAM ‘Repression’ WINCHESTER

Sam’s inner demons centre around self forgiveness. He still struggles with feeling like a monster (even though he knows he shouldn't), he has tried to be cleaner than clean, whiter than white to cleanse himself (e.g. with food), and it’s especially clear this season that he is holding back from other people, often hiding behind Dean (eg. phone calls etc). 

Sam’s self forgiveness can also be split into 2 overriding narratives.

1. Accepting and forgiving the grey areas of the supernatural and specifically the supernatural within himself (e.g. past psychic abilities, demon blood).

Mary has already twice narratively shifted the blame for Sam’s demon arc onto herself away from Sam: 

 12x2: “how can I face Sam after what I did to him”.

12x12: *flashback to YED Ramiel*, Sam: “what have you gotten us into?!”.

2. Forgiving himself enough to work with other people again and see himself as a leader.

Mary and the BMOL are key to this. Sam is a MOL and Dean is a Hunter, thats always been the narrative since s8. A happy place for Sam is running the MOL, a new, moral type of MOL with a dog, a girl, maybe even kids and trusted people all around... eating a hearty meal instead of a salad...

Blake Snyder’s Beat Sheet

(thank you @floralmotif and @elizabethrobertajones for this excellent reference and inspiration to put my thoughts into a hopefully coherent post! So, we are now on act 3 since the literal vanquishing of the darkness of act 2, dark night of the soul).

Endgame speculation based on the return of Mary below the cut.

Concisely Act 3 consists of:

1. A new start/inspiration/catalyst:  MARY. (Symbolism: Sunrise after the Darkness).

2. The main character(s) incorporate the newly found theme learned from the catalyst into their fight. (Speculation: defeating the season’s (13-14?) big bad thanks to their newly found self acceptance and self forgiveness. Dean using his self worth and parts of himself he previously didn't accept and perhaps Sam using some supernatural element rather than repressing it or a group of people e.g. US MOL)

3. Final Image: Opposite of Opening Image (finale v pilot)

SAM would have NO demon blood/supernatural left in him OR he would accept the supernatural side of himself as positive (perhaps as a psychic / witch?). Given other ‘free will’ / grey area themes of SPN it would make more sense to have him accept the supernatural in a positive way. 

A reversal of leaving school, his friends and a dead Jess to go hunting, alone with just his brother - would have him back in a scholarly environment with other people and likely a ‘new Jess’. 

Dean would have his abandonment issues addressed and let go of performing!Dean, actively not trying to emulate his father and letting go of his toxic masculine facade. He was so very alone at the start of the show - ‘abandoned’ by his father and feeling lonely before dragging Sam back into hunting. To reverse this he needs to have someone choose him completely, putting those abandonment issues to rest. 

I am completely convinced that Amara’s point was to bring Mary back AS THIS CATALYST, to be this tool for the start of act 3. The pain will be worth it in the end :)