#trying to log in to mod my game has been fucking awful

[1327-1]

maybe i am getting old but the whole microsoft xbox minecraft stuff is driving me insane

[endstrats]

hbg being a mess during aa co-op (pt. 2 bc they're doing it again widepeepoHappy)

- 15 minutes of pure confusion of everyone trying to figure out who is participating

- dylan struggles: clothes pile that has been building up for a decade, trying to find socks, fein started the run and he wasn't even logged into minecraft

- fulham's call command: "dylon, freidburg, zy(unlce)nox, 11TEEx10^9, malfoy6, 100%ham"

- couriway logged into the server for 5 seconds, free wr for him

- draconix mic is just... bad (rip)

- switch waking up right before the run

- fulham muted himself in his own stream

- couriway, in chat: BOAT ON DA BABY

- fein threw gold at a hoglin, apparently for the second time

- "hopefully draconix can do something this time"

- "yes this is duos, duos with 7 people"

- this aa run is a roadtrip, fein is frontseating, dylan passenger seating, switch is sitting behind the frontseat, draconix is hanging halfway out the window, couriway is in the trunk

- "try not to die" "good advice" "what would we do without dylqn"

- the return of "server moment" whenever the server lags

- "if no one's doing anything, help me decimate this forest for emeralds"

- switch "i'm dying to every mob on this server" vs. fyroah "you motherfuckers are hogging the entire hostile mob cap"

- fein blinded into the starter staircase lfg

- "how does this guy have a job, i broke everything"

- laggy ender dragon messing up the one cycle madge

- scuffed end fight in general r i p

- "you guys mind if i murder this villager?" "ummmm... kinda?"

- "with no perception of time, i've been in this hole for like, three days, switch has to throw food and water on my head"

- villager escaped switch and dylan fjdklajfda

- home village organization is actually good holy fuck?

- "who's going 2x2?" at the same time, "switch" "eleventy"

- "we literally have everything left in the run to do in the run except for what we have" "i'm just trying to be positive damn"

- fulham vs. biomes (again)

- dylan: "i just love giving awful comms"

- "literally nobody cares about the verfiability of co op all advancements"

- literally all of them are playing on 2 rd bc vanilla server rip

- competition for mob cap

- "let me finish talking, then you can be disrespectul" "as long as i can be disrespectful"

- switch: [screams of anguish]

- tech support brb

- party house

- everyone is doing biomes ???

- "can i cheat and come to the party house?"

- "i have a name tag!" "shulkers don't need nametags?" "it's for the dolphin"

- "we're not finishing this run" "we might!"

- "can i- can i cheat and go to the party house?"

- "thers's a shell guy in front of the party house!" "can we keep him?" "yeah yeah yeah yeah"

- also the party house is deadass a shipwreck

- dylan and eleventy almost started a fist fight in the party house

- dylan blew up everyone in the party house

- party house ended in a sequence of murder

- fyroah keeps killing switch, dylan keeps killing eleventy

- (this was the dumbest but most beloved moment in hbg history and i stand by it)

- break for hypixel games woo

- mega skywars moment

- zy the soggy bicycle

- they are not good at skywars

- "society if balls was spelt with six letters"

- "i'm in the mind of a four-year-old"

- fein at one point, no mods, n3merald in chat, modded: i got this

- rad raddles joined for hypixel games!!

- eleventy vs. the ability to access creative mode

- rad: i wish we could punch people, i love killing people

- house builder gang actually building holy shit

- pagmanshat

- raddlez is very good at bridge build :D

- the dichotomy of switch, rad, and fyroah playing bridge build vs. feinberg, eleventy, and draconix troubleshooting the server

- ok they gave up on aa lol

[libertineangel]

I know it's common knowledge EA is fucking awful but man it's still frustrating how blatantly they just do not care about their products.

My go-to quick shooter has always been Titanfall 2, it's fun and simple and just a real great competitive deathmatch game, but for months now the servers have been down without explanation, just a numerical error code every time you try to log in that doesn't actually give any cause or resolution. Some people have set up a dedicated server system with modded game modes and such and that's great, but until they get NPC AI functioning I still can't play my preferred style.

Hopping over to DICE Battlefront 2, again a solid fun multiplayer shooter that may not be nearly as good as the '05 classic but is still perfectly enjoyable...except for the last month servers have been randomly glitching and making players unable to die. Shoot as much as you like and everyone stays at 1HP, meaning nobody can take any command posts and the game stalls indefinitely. No way to fix it other than for everyone to quit so the server resets, no word I'm aware of on an actual resolution.

[queenlua]

hey, i started following you recently and ur bio says ur a hacker? any tips on where to start? hacking seems like a v cool/fun way to learn more abt coding and cybersecurity/infrastructure and i'd like to explore it but there's so much on the internet and like, i'm not trying to get into anything illegal. thanks!

huh, an interesting question, ty!

i can give more tailored advice if you hit me up on chat with more specifics on your background/interests.

given what you've written here, though, i'll just assume you don't have any immediate professional aspirations (e.g. you just want to learn some things, and you aren't necessarily trying to get A Cyber Security Job TM within the next three months or w/e), and that you don't know much about any specific programming/computering domain yet.

(stuff under cut because long)

first i'd probably just try to pick some interesting problem that you think you can solve with tech. this doesn't need to be a "hacking" project at first; i was just messing around with computers for ages before i did anything involving security/exploitation.

if you don't already know how to program, you should ideally pick a problem you can solve via programming. for instance: i learned a lot back in the 2000s, when play-by-post forum RPGs were in vogue.  see, i'd already been messing around, building my own personal sites, first just with HTML & CSS, and later on with Javascript and PHP.   and i knew the forum software everyone used (InvisionPowerBoard) was written in PHP.  so when one of the admins at my RPG complained that they'd like the ability to set multiple profile pictures, i was like, "hey i'm good at programming, want me to create a mod to do that," and then i just... did. so then they asked me to program more features, and i got all the sexy nerd cred for being Forum Mod Queen, and it was a good time, i learned a lot.

(i also got to be the person who was frantically IMed at 2am because wtf the forum is down and there's an inscrutable error, what do??? basically sysadmining! also, much less sexy! still, i learned a lot!)

the key thing is that it's gotta be a problem that's interesting to you: as much as i love making dorky sites in PHP, half the fun was seeing other people using my stuff, and i think the era of forum-based RPGs has passed. but maybe you can apply some programming talents to something that you are interested in—maybe you want to make a silly Chrome extension to make people laugh, a la Cloud to Butt, or maybe you'd like to make a program that converts pixel art into cross-stitching patterns, maybe you want to just make a cool adventure game on those annoying graphing calculators they make you use in class, or make a script for some online game you play, or make something silly with Arduino (i once made a trash can that rolled toward me when i clapped my hands; it was fun, and way easier than you'd think!), whatever.

i know a lot of hacker-types who got their start doing ROM hacking for video games—replacing the character art or animations or whatever in old NES games. that's probably more relevant than the PHP websites, at least, and is probably a solid place to get started; in my experience those communities tend to be reasonably friendly to questions. pick a small thing you want to do & ask how to do it.

also, a somewhat unconventional path, but—once i knew how to program a bit of Python, i started doing goofy junk, like, "hey can i implemented NamedTuple from scratch,” which tends to lead to Python metaprogramming, which leads to surprising shit like "oh, stack frames are literally just Python objects and you can manually edit them in the interpreter to do deliberately horrendous/silly things, my god this language allows too much reflection and i'm having too much fun"... since Python is a lot of folks' first language these days, i thought i'd point that out, since i think this is a pretty accessible start to thinking about How Programs Actually Work under the hood. allison kaptur has some specific recommendations on how to poke around, if you wanna go that route.

it's reasonably likely you'll end up doing something "hackery" in the natural course of just working on stuff. for instance, while i was working on the IPB forum software mods, i became distressed to learn that everyone was using an INSECURE version of the software! no one was patching their shit!! i yelled at the admins about it, and they were like "well we haven't been hacked yet so it's not a problem," so i uh, decided to demonstrate a proof of concept? i downloaded some sketchy perl script, kicked it until it worked, logged in as the admins, and shitposted a bit before i logged out, y'know, to prove my point.

(they responded by banning me for two weeks, and did not patch their software. which, y'know, rip to them; they got hacked by an unrelated Turkish group two months later, and those dudes just straight-up deleted the whole website. i was a merciful god by comparison!)

anyway, even though downloading a perl script and just pointing it at a website isn't really "hacking" (it's the literal definition of script kiddie, heh)—the point is i was just experimenting a lot and trying a lot of stuff, which meant i was getting comfortable with thinking of software as not just some immutable relic, but something you can touch and prod in unexpected ways.

this dovetails into the next thing, which is like, just learn a lot of stuff. a boring conventional computer science degree will teach you a lot (provided you take it seriously and actually try to learn shit); alternatively, just taking the same classes as a boring conventional computer science degree, via edX or whatever free online thingy, will also teach you a lot. ("contributing to open source" also teaches you a lot but... hngh... is a whole can of worms; send a follow-up ask if you want that rant.)

here's where i should note that "hacking" is an impossibly broad category: the kind of person who knows how to fuck with website authentication tokens is very different than someone who writes a fuzzer, who is often quite different than someone who looks at the bug a fuzzer produces and actually writes a program that can exploit that bug... so what you focus on depends on what you're interested in. i imagine classes with names like "compilers," "operating systems," and "networking" will teach you a lot. but, like, idk, all knowledge is god-breathed and good for teaching. hell, i hear some universities these days have actual computer security classes? that's probably a good thing to look at, just to get a sense of what's out there, if you already know how to program.

also be comfortable with not knowing everything, but also, learn as you go. the bulk of my security knowledge came when i got kinda airdropped into a work team that basically hired me entirely on "potential" (lmao), and uh, prior to joining i only had the faintest idea what a hypervisor was? or the whole protection ring concept? or ioctls or sandboxing or threat models or, fuck, anything? i mostly just pestered people with like 800 questions and slowly built up a knowledge base, and remember being surprised & delighted when i went to a security conference a year later and could follow most of the talks, and when i wound up at a bar with a guy on the xbox security team and we compared our security models a bunch, and so on.  there wasn't a magic moment when i "got it", i was just like, "okay huh this dude says he found a ring-0 exploit... what does that mean... okay i think i got that... why is that a big deal though... better ask somebody.." (also: reading an occasional dead tree book is a good idea. i owe my firstborn to Robert Love's Linux Kernel Development, as outdated as it is, and also O'Reilly's kookaburra book gave me a great overview of web programming back in the day, etc.  you can learn a lot by just clicking around random blogs, but you’ll often end up with a lot of random little facts and no good mental scaffolding for holding it together; often, a decent book will give you that scaffolding.)

(also, it's pretty useful if you can find a knowledgable someone to pepper with random questions as you go. finding someone who will actively mentor you is tricky, but most working computery folks are happy to tell you things like "what you're doing is actually impossible, here's why," or "here's a tutorial someone told me was good for learning how to write a linux kernel module," or "here's my vague understanding of this concept you know nothing about," or "here's how you automate something to click on a link on a webpage," which tends to be handier than just google on its own.)

if you're reading this and you're like "ok cool but where's the part where i'm handed a computer and i gotta break in while going all hacker typer”—that's not the bulk of the work, alas! like, for sure, we do have fun pranking each other by trying dumb ways of stealing each other's passwords or whatever (once i stuck a keylogger in a dude's keyboard, fun times). but a lot of my security jobs have involved stuff like, "stare at this disassembly a long fuckin' time to figure out how the program pointer got all fucked up," or, "write a fuzzer that feeds a lot of randomized input to some C++ program, watch the program crash because C++ is a horrible language for writing software, go fix all the bugs," or "think Really Hard TM about all the settings and doohickeys this OS/GPU/whatever has, think about all the awful things someone could do with it, threat model and sandbox accordingly." occasionally i have done cool proof-of-concept hacks but honestly writing exploits can kinda be tedious, lol, so like, i'm only doing that if it's the only way i can get people to believe that Yes This Is Actually A Problem, Fix Your Code

"lua that's cool and all but i wanted, like, actual links and recommendations and stuff" okay, fair. here's some ideas:

microcorruption: very fun embedded security CTF; teaches you everything you need to know as you're doing it.

cryptopals crypto challenges: very fun little programming exercises that teach you a lot of fundamental cryptography concepts as you're going along! you can do these even as a bit of a n00b; i did them in Python for the lulz

the binary bomb lab is hilariously copied by, like, so many CS programs, lol, but for good reason. it's accessible and fun and is the first time most people get to feel like a real hacker! (requires you know a bit of C beforehand)

ctftime is a good way to see when new CTFs ("capture the flag"s; security-focused competitions) are coming up. or, sometimes CTFs post their source code, so you can continue trying them after the CTF is over. i liked Stripe's CTFs when they were going, because they focused on "web stuff", and "web stuff" was all i really knew at the time. if you're more interested in staring at disassembly, there's CTFs focused on that sort of thing too.

azeria has good ARM assembly & exploitation tutorials

also, like, lots of good talks out there; just watching defcon/cansecwest/etc talks until something piques your interest is very fun. i'd die on a battlefield for any of Christopher Domas's talks, but he assumes a lot of specific x86/OS knowledge, lol, so maybe don’t start with that. oh, Julia Evans's blog is honestly probably pretty good for just learning a lot of stuff and really beginner-friendly?

oh and wrt legality... idk, i haven't addressed it here since it hasn't come up in my own work much, tbh. if you're just getting started you're kind of unlikely to Break The Law without, y'know, realizing maybe you're doing something a bit gray-area? and you can cross that bridge when you come to it? Real Hacking TM is way more of a pain-in-the-ass than doing CTFs and such, and you'll learn way more with the latter, so who cares lol just do the fun thing

[tybalt-you-saucy-boi]

Hello! I was curious to know what some of your favorite Mindcrack moments are in all of their years of existing?

Bro. You are in for a motherfucking LIST.

Off the bat, every single Team Canada Prank. I’ve practically memorized the Sky Shrooms and King of the Ladder episodes. That moment when Guude realized Etho was part of the prank and said “We? Who’s we?” and Etho stuttered and fell backwards off the mushrooms to his death was the first moment in my life that I truly felt alive. #TheOfficeIsAGoodShow #RealMenUseTheirRingFinger

Von Swaying Guude’s house changed my whole outlook on Minecraft. How could someone make something so darn ugly and yet so beautiful? It’s the epitome of doing something for the sole purpose of shit starting creating and having fun rather than aiming for perfect and never finishing. Zisteau is a great addition to any video 10/10 educational content

Just about every moment in Guude/Nebris/Pakratt/Arkas’ TerraFirmaCraft Reloaded series. Had to pause videos multiple times to write down quotes and even then I passed up some good ones! I fully intend on rewatching the series from each perspective. Arkas getting slain by bear, Guude and Arkas secretly growing mushrooms and getting high, Pakratt confusing dolomite and diorite, literally everything Arkas does, THE COWS, that last episode of absolute chaos wtf Pakratt

UHC #ForTheKidsSeven with Single Malt scotch’s skyblock base and rampant cheating from every team except Nebris’. I fucking LOVED that near-kill with the anvil, and all the chaos as the border shrank. Four players stuck in a 1x1 column! The arrow volley between SMS and SkyblockJr. Can this happen every UHC?

Speaking of UHC, Etho and BdoubleO’s epic fight in season 11! He was absolutely on the ball with those potions, I was sure he’d die before he could use them all. And Etho’s fight with Guude right before that was hilarious! Guude high as fuck on percocets and Etho like completely confused at what Guude was doing. The original UHC skybase by Zisteau #I’mALavaExpert and Anderz reaction to the skybase, and then to Guude’s dogs

The whole portal thing in season 3 with Pause, Kurt, and Beef too! That has remained one of my favourite UHC moments since I saw it, there is nothing more classic. Every single season I hope someone will make a portal for no reason and end up in someone else’s base with them. #TheWolfTheWolfAmazing!

Zisteau’s E-Pranker Montage. I legitimately cry every time I watch it, particularly during 0.5 (the fourth prank) when he rebuilds Bdubs’ first house from his Building With BdoubleO series. Bdubs’ moment of realization hits me like a train even though I know it’s coming. Like, if someone built my first Minecraft base to prank me I think I would die on impact, but like in a good way.

And back to UHC! Season 14 episode 5. HOOOOOOLY FUCK! 2spooky4me should have totally been a UHC team! Remember when Zisteau played UHC? It just isn’t UHC without him to be honest. And besides the #BadYouTubers and #ImALavaExpert moments from Super Hostile and Ninja Turtles, Parkas had a great season as well! Shit, everyone was awesome! Parkas listening in on BTC finding a silverfish, Doc listening in on Ole Yeller right before Zisteau-ing himself and swearing, Baj hiding nether wart, every single drunken drink Genny did, Parkas towers “we should smelt some stone to make bricks”, snnnnowballs! :D, HEY JSANO! WHY YOU RUNNING JSANO?, “ooooh, we’re right behind you haha” “BTC, they’re actually here.” Pakratt was slain by generikb, Avidya’s spooky voice echoing around Seth and Anderz “You wouldn’t hurt an old teammate, would you?” “I dunno. It’s been awhile.” Just. God this was a good season.

Season 19 with Vechs and BTC! You’ve heard all the famous quotes, “how did I get stuck with you of all people” “Vechs, Vechs. I don’t hate you anymore” “He’s not dying. He’s just mad right now.” “Did it come from your hand, knocking a teammate off the ledge?” “THAT WAS A MOD!” etc etc. I also like MC’s half heart midnight desert dash, although it took a good 10 years of my life from the stress. Oblivious Pakratt running away from his teammates as they yell after him and then wondering why he hasn’t found anyone yet. Seth’s reaction to MC’s diamonds. Coe’s post commentary, again, you know the quotes: “Left. Chicken. Right. Chicken.” “This bucket has wheels!” “Are you gonna put that dirt in a chest?!” etc. Kurt finding Beef “Sharpness Five diamond sword!” and PiMP turning around. F1 and PiMP in general. SwedishZen and Millbee with the melons.

Obligatory mentions: “NOOO YOUR DOGS KILLING ME!!!!”, 2Germans1Hole, Zisteau crafting a clock and finding every excuse to use it during the game so that those 4 gold didn’t go to waste, Rob’s jukebox battles, Anderz fighting spiders when a creeper wanders into his hole, Bdubs’ “real” season 9 ending, Nebris going God-mode “HIT ME ALL YOU LIKE”, Nebris and Pause double kill, Nebris and Pyro double kill with Bdubs watching and cleaning up at half a heart and then Etho cleaning up again and finding the potions B left and Bdubs interrupting his video to do facecam to explain that he’s a nice guy who shares and leaves gifts for others (basically whenever Bdubs does facecam in UHC. Let’s face it, when Bdubs whips out the cam you know you’re in for a good show), Team Uppercats season 10. All of it.

Trouble in Terrorist Town when Pyro and Coe pull a long con on Pause and Guude in like episode 9 during the last round. I had to pause the video to take it all in, I was just in awe. That series is one of my favourites! I always watch from Pause.

In original DvZ when BTC got warned for breaking a cake. Also Pause’s helmet!

Team Canada CTM uhhh forgot which series, but Pause and Beef getting stuck in a hole, Etho dying, placing TNT over their heads, and singing “Pause and Beef, best of friends” while Beef panics.

Etho calling Pause fat as a joke and Pause taking it serious and then Etho going “wait, are you actually fat?’ lmao.

Pause yelling about vacations on episode 37 of the podcast with BdoubleO “STOP TELLING PEOPLE I’M GOING ON VACATION IT’S NOT A VACATION!!!!!!!” and every time he’s yelled about vacations or muted his mic.

Baj reading a question and mid sentence switching to talking about the curry he had last night, and then there’s a pause and the rest of Nancy Drew fucking loses it.

On the podcast, Kurt’s “Wake me up, boys!” That whole episode was a blast!

The whole “sitting or standing?” debate and the guests’ reactions to it.

Doc accidentally killing Notch on the Mindcrack server, and Dinnerbone confused about him not dropping an apple.

Doc’s zombie death loop from season 4 with Anderz saving the day and then promptly dying.

B-Team mafia in survival of the fittest, Etho killing Genny, and B and Etho teaming up afterwards. Also B and Pungence talking excitedly at the end was adorable, you can really tell they’re brothers lol. And Etho drinking out of the outhouse! Bdubs’ comment on that video killed me lol. And Etho forgetting his push-to-talk and failing to team up with Doc.

The whole got-dang B-Team trial.

End of season 3 tour “On a scale from Baj to Anderz” “Arkas, say something about your build.” Arkas: “Hello.”

The original Death Games, when Etho reveals his secret to Nebris particularly, and all the trash talking. Also Millbee, MC, and Nebris coming to kill him and Kurt logging on in the middle of it.

Prop hunt, and all the wiener and erect jokes. “Am I erect?” “I just saw a can spying on me while I was trying to put my wiener in the toilet!”

Pause and Rob getting girlfriends in Orespawn, and Rob naming his after Pause, and Pause murdering his.

Andrea talking about waking up with spiders in her mouth in an old Triple Eh Mondays episode.

Nebris “sensually” feeding Beef a banana (and practically begging to do it to) on the Mindcrack marathon, and Beef completely ruining the mood lol

Zisteau accidentally launching CaptainSparklez back into a lava tree column and “Dude, it’s okay. You can just kill me” after Jordan’s hit him about 40 times.

#ForTheHorse

MC accidentally killing his one and only teammate JSano during UHC season 22

Sevadus and Seth playing blindfolded lego with Chad’s underwear on Sev’s head, lots of swearing, bugs in the lego, “Are you sure it’s the grey lego?”, “I don’t think I like kids anymore” etc

All the Pyro and Baj burns on Quiplash, ie “What’s something that absolutely does not make you think of a penis in any way?” “Baj”

Coe and Pak playing that stupid horse/giraffe volley ball game with the stretchy legs and neck, and Coe doing the silly accent

Bdubs calling Nebris a psychopath in Nebs’ first FTB episode because he jumped a dangerous ledge for 2 (TWO) pieces of glowstone dust

Nebs coming outta nowhere and jumping in Etho’s car when he was about to test his race track

The first few episode of CrackPack and the battle between Etho and BTC, and Beef and Nebris

The first building game with potatoes on sticks, the second accidentally dirty and racist building game with bloody toilet capsules, the third actually dirty building game with a viking hat with a penis inside

God, I could go on forever, but I’ve already spent over an hour and a half on this.

[vice-s-assistant]

I’m sorry but I can’t do this today.

I hurt like hell in my chest that has been hurting from 6:30 AM, and still on going.

I had an awful day at work

My anxiety is at an all time high right now

And now my second digital home is crumbling down

I’m sorry, I just can’t do this today. 

You can get all of social account and stuff another day (but that’s kind of pointless since I don’t use them BECAUSE OF TUMBLR!)

Here, have a picture of Menat in a swimsuit from PC SFV running on Ultra settings.

Right now I am logging the fuck out for the rest of the evening, modding some games, and just trying to ignore the constant pain in my fucking chest (and now head)

[wolf-haten]

Hi guys! I was a staff member of Wolf-Haven from 2011 to 2016, although I was not very active for the last two years because that’s around the time Karlos lost interest in WH. It was very frustrating to work for someone who did not care to be an administrator of his own site, and you can only preach to someone so much before you realize that it is a lost case and your time is better spent elsewhere.

I want to preface my statement by saying that I am not here to slander the site, spread rumors, or bash it for no reason. I am here to share facts – events that really happened – and my recollection and opinions of those events. I will probably be banned from WH if Karlos sees this, but I obviously stopped playing the game years ago and I no longer interact with the community.

Seeing Karlos’s activity elsewhere bothers me to no end. I asked him to work on things several times; he always claimed that he was going through a lot or that he was very depressed. I completely understand, and he really did experience life-changing events that affected him and forced him to step away from WH for a month here and there. That being said, these events did not last for years, which is how long it’s been since he’s given a flying fuck about the site. He has had enough time to bounce back and readjust. He has gone to furry conventions, dated multiple people, moved, etc. I think what many people failed to realize (even myself) was that Karlos was not absent; he knew exactly what was going on. Staff can see the last time a user logs on, and his timestamps were always recent. He visits the site, and he has an extensive knowledge of web coding and design. He showed me the dozens of textbooks that he read on coding and web security. Perhaps it was a lack of motivation? I’m not really sure; he definitely had the capacity to fix many of the issues that occurred.

I think that when WH was hacked in 2013, he lost a lot of confidence in himself. I don’t think the site truly ever recovered from the hack. We lost many of the most well-known members simply because of the way Karlos chose to handle the events after the hack. He banned users who disagreed with his decision to not restore XP (the site had to be reverted to a previous backup, which was at least a week or so old). He claimed that they were trashing the site and being mean to him but in reality, they were just expressing their opinion. By the way, it’s beyond me why WH wasn’t backed up more frequently.

Out of the many users that he banned, I feel that the most notable ban was Stormgaze. Stormgaze was a notorious member who knew a lot about web design and… well, he wasn’t a moron, so he could see past a lot of Karlos’s BS. And he was vocal about it. Stormgaze ran a blog where he voiced his opinions about current WH happenings, which inspired me to create my own (this is important later). Stormgaze didn’t always see eye to eye with Karlos and was willing to point out his mistakes. I don’t feel that Karlos takes criticism well because Stormgaze eventually got a permanent ban. Stormgaze was a very matter-of-fact person who held an elitist view on the site and his own choices, but he knew his shit. Looking back now, I feel that a lot of his rudeness was just him being an honest person. He saw past the façade that blinded many of us.

As for Karlos’s creepiness? I mean, I can see where you’re coming from, though I don’t think I particularly experienced any of it. I joined the staff team when I was 14 but I lied and said that I was 16 because that was the minimum age requirement after the site’s renovation. (Karlos, if you’re reading this, I’m a really shitty person and I apologize for lying to you. Regardless, I did my job and I did it damn well.) He Skyped me once out of the blue which I found a bit odd, and he had his webcam on and was showing me stuff around his room. I definitely glorified him a lot back then, so I was just excited that the site owner was talking to me personally. I don’t think he meant anything of it but it came across as really weird, especially given that I was only 16 when that happened, and he was at least 21 or 23.

Before I forget about Karlos’s extensive dating profile, remember how he used the donation money to visit his girlfriend in the United States in 2011 or 2012? The donation money that was supposed to partially be donated to a local animal shelter, and the rest was supposed to go towards hosting the site? Yeah. I can tell you now that WH has had an immense profit and it STILL somehow makes a profit because people upload multiple characters to the site. Customs cost around $10-12 and there are over 3,000 of them on-site. Many members also purchased Points to spend on leveling up their wolf and to buy artwork from other members. Do the math, and Karlos makes a royal shitton.

But does anyone remember how he put the website up for sale a few years ago and immediately removed the listing when users found out? He later denied any allegations, but I think selling the website would have been his best bet.

I’ve saved the best content for last, which is the knowledge that I have because I was a staff member. I have never kept my opinions a secret, and I’ve always been honest. Here’s where my blog becomes important: I had a WH blog where I discussed what was going on with the site after updates, gave opinions on community events, and so on. After 1.3, Karlos asked me to remove an article that critiqued his inactivity because it made him look bad. I obliged, but I felt that it was majorly fucked up. I knew that if I didn’t remove the article, he would remove me from staff. I was a new moderator with 1.3 and it was something that I worked hard for, so I was not willing to give it up.

I’m not really sure where to start. I hold a personal grudge against Karlos because I was on staff for the longest time, yet three other moderators received promotions to admin before me. Sheri was one of my good friends and she did the job well, and I’m not sure how Fang still manages to have so much passion for the site, but I respect her immensely for that (although I don’t know why she’s still wasting her time; WH is not a relevant website at this point). I always amounted their promotions to personal bonds that they had, and I was never that upset because I can entirely understand why someone would want to promote a friend. What I will never forgive Karlos for is making Jekyll a mod and an admin and choosing her to run the site. Jekyll was a rude member before she became a mod, and she was even ruder with a blue name. I turned in complaints about her behavior numerous times, and other members came to me because she was so awful to them. He always claimed that he would talk to her about her behavior but he never did. I later found out that Jekyll and Karlos were so close because Jekyll was working on Cervidae with him. Instead of creating art for WH, they made art for Cervidae. We had a staff forum where multiple artists, including Jekyll, claimed different animals to work on. Miraculously, they were never finished. Jek and Karl (more like Jekyll and Hyde) were pouring all of their energy into this deer RPG thing that never actually opened up to the public. Amazing concept, but it was executed poorly. And instead of ending WH or passing it on to someone who was capable of handling it, he put Jekyll in charge. She is the most unprofessional person that I know. Have you read the news posts? Her grammar is absurd, she unnecessarily capitalizes random words, and she just… oh my, it irks me to no end. The FRONT OF THE WEBSITE is unprofessional. Who wants to join a website where the news is updated after months and it isn’t even typed correctly? Having someone represent your website who can’t even hold a normal full-time job is really embarrassing. But maybe that’s why they got along so well! /shrug

Jek was awful with how she treated the members. We never had any protocols to follow when giving users PM warnings or mutes or bans; there was no structure so we were all doing different things. Jek would mute someone for having stolen artwork on their profile, whereas I would PM the user, explain why the artwork was considered stolen, and add it to their user notes. I brought this issue up multiple times and was told by Fang that I was actually the one in the wrong. ??? That’s so corrupt that it’s ridiculous. None of these people knew how to be a moderator. It is beyond me why someone should be muted because they broke a rule they probably didn’t even understand. The point of being a moderator is to help users to understand the rules, not to be Hitler and swing your banhammer around willy-nilly. That’s probably why I never got along with anyone on the staff team, though.

Oh, and the staff panel was broken for years. When a post was reported and you clicked on the post link, you’d get “HTTPS” in the URL bar twice, so the link would be invalid. I’m sorry, but as a staff member, I should not have to manually type in a reported post just to handle it. The fact that he couldn’t even add a simple fix to the mod CP was really offputting and made me realize that I was working for someone who didn’t care about me. We didn’t get any compensation for our work until someone suggested it in 2013. Our compensation was 5 free customs because we were staff. Cool.

It was a very hard decision for me to leave the team, but I realized that WH was not the site it once used to be and it was never going to be fixed. I was not comfortable working for Jekyll because I don’t think she has a thousand competent brain cells and she’s just not an enjoyable person to be around. It was exhausting to work for a website and try to make progressive movements, only to be shot down and ignored. I begged Karlos to get new animal artwork. I begged him to update the mod panel. To fix the referral system… nothing was ever done. I had to accept with a heavy heart that he was never going to change, and the website would never amount to much. The community is dead. All of my friends left or were banned after the hack. I hated the people I worked with; there was nothing to keep me there.

[eeveelutionsforequality]

@mod vape, do you have any tips for dealing with hypersexuality or addiction? bc uh. getting off hurts. idk if it’s specifically because ive been doing it so goddamn much or because of the fucking legion of medical problems i have, but it’s DEFINITELY making my abdominal pain worse and i dont know how to stop gjdfjhk.

Well, firstly, go to the doctor about that pain - there are injuries, illnesses, sexual dysfunctions, and all sorts of things from that could be causing a pain like that (it could be a pulled muscle, a cyst, maybe you aggravated a pre-existing health issue, etc), and it's best to rule out anything too dangerous as soon as you can, and to treat anything treatable. Even if it is tied to or caused by overdoing sex/masturbation, just mitigating that habit isn't guaranteed to fix it.

I was getting some pretty bad pain from even small dildos/vibrators, and I decided to go to the doctor in case it was something dangerous - thankfully, it turned out to just be a sexual dysfunction (basically spasms and tightening of the muscles in the vagina, in my case caused by trauma). I was supposed to get therapy for it, but I never went because I was having another therapy at the time and my carer was like "But what if they cancel each other out!?" and I was like "That's not how it works..." Sometimes it acts up but I think I've got it mostly under control. I've also had to go to the doctor for sprained/strained wrists more times than I would like to admit... I used to be like "Oh I played my guitar for too long" or "Oh I think I leant on my walking stick for too long" and now I'm just like "Wanker's cramp".

Trust me and my plethora of injuries when I say that doctors are professionals, they went to medical school, they see genitalia on a daily basis, they've seen eyes and ears and giant sores full of puss... it's really rare to get a doctor that will look down upon or judge you for that. Sure you'll get the odd "You should masturbate less", "Here's a big speech about the risks of STDs and pregnancy", "Have you told your therapist about this", but it's more of an "I'm contractually obliged to impart medical advice" than an "I think you're gross" 99% of the time.

Secondly, I do have tips, but I'm still hella bad at dealing with my own issues - I still smoke more than I want to, drink til I puke, sleep with strangers, lose days to laying in bed alone, have an aching pain in my wrists, etc. Obviously I don't have all of the answers, so I can't promise that they'll be the best tips in the world - it's worth doing some more research of your own, and it might be worth talking to your doctor/therapist if you can't manage it on your own.

You haven't given much detail about how specifically it affects you or what the addiction is to (sexual stuff in general, masturbation, casual sex, porn, etc), so I'm going to try to cover as much as I can (like dealing with sexual thoughts about people in your life, limiting the number of times you masturbate, etc) and I hope that at least some of what I say is useful to you.

Okay, so the first tip I have is: try not to slip into the mentality that cold turkey is the only way to go if it's not what you want - thinking "I can't have this. I'm not allowed this." can increase cravings. Thinking "I'm allowed this later... if I stay motivated not to do it now and if I only do it in moderation, and it's gonna be great." can make waiting out those cravings a lot easier, provided you have the self-control to not slip back into a bad habit after once.

Ways to avoid slipping back into bad habits include: having time (or number of the thing) limits for when and how long you are allowed, having something to do afterwards that takes your mind off it (for example "once I've done it once, I have to get up, take out the rubbish, email my boss, read that global warming article, and get ready for bed"), other rewards/punishments (put a book you really want in your Amazon basket then click "save for later", if at the end of the fortnight you've accomplished your goal then buy the book, if you fail the fortnight resets and you have to wait two more weeks - set smaller goals with smaller rewards, and larger goals with larger rewards), keeping and going over a diary so that you can see what worked and what didn't, if there's a pattern to failures, progress even if you're not meeting goals (at which point try to make the upcoming goals a little easier since you're expecting too much of yourself), and so on.

Secondly, and it's the most generic tip ever but it's SUPER important for addictions because they can damage your pre-frontal cortex... healthy diet, exercise, meditation, mental exercises, getting some sun, and other daily tasks are super important.

You need to get into the habit of something like reading or pottery or drawing for at least half an hour to an hour every day - turn off your internet, games, distractions, and maintain concentration on what you're doing. This helps repair the effects that addictions can have on your pre-frontal cortex and dopamine receptors by activating the parts of your brain that work towards maintained motivation and focus for smaller or distant rewards, which in turn will help your brain work normally again, which in turn will increase motivation and willpower.

Cooking more difficult meals will have similar benefits and a healthy diet improves your overall health. Exercise does the same even more effectively than either, and it has the added bonus of energizing you, increasing your focus on other tasks that you do afterwards, various health benefits, lifting your mood, and helping you be tired by the end of the day so that you'll be able to sleep easier - insomnia is a really dangerous trigger for any addiction, but especially a masturbation or sex addiction, because you're in an environment that is associated with that behaviour and the behaviour makes it easier to sleep afterwards, so you've every reason to start doing it if you find yourself unable to sleep.

Which brings me on to another reason why keeping a diary is especially important - you need to isolate your triggers. Establish what happened immediately before the behaviour, what you were thinking, and what potentially led to the behaviour. Then you can work towards either avoiding those triggers, lessening them, being mindful of them, or training yourself to exhibit a different behaviour in response to them - for example, if having a shower triggers you to masturbate, try singing in the shower instead, training your brain to react to showers with the urge to sing instead of the urge to masturbate.

You might also want to try sleeping meds, so that you can take them, read until they start to kick in, and then immediately go to bed and try to sleep - that way there's less of a gap between going to bed and falling asleep where something could happen.

Routine can also be really helpful for some people - you're supposed to fall asleep between about 10pm and 1am for optimal sleep, and you're supposed to wake up between 6 and 8 hours later. Get out of bed as soon as you wake up to avoid lethargy, and either exercise or go for a short walk, or do something that starts your brain and body working for the day. After that, prepare breakfast, don't watch TV or distract yourself while you eat. Continue the day with a routine that works for you, and you could set a time at which you will masturbate (or maybe a date you're allowed to go to the club and pull... how you work in routine if you have a long-term sexual partner is something you would need to talk to them about) that doesn't interfere with your routine.

Avoid bars, pubs, clubs, tinder, grindr, and anything else that can be a trigger for that or makes quick hook-ups easy - I know that I can go to the pub near me (because there'll be nobody there for that, it's an "old people come here to watch football" pub), and that I can go to a pub or bar with friends if I'm having a good day, but making sure that my flat wasn't within walking distance of a club and deleting dating apps was really helpful to me (it meant that even if the temptation was there the effort required to act on it was too much and took too long, so I'd catch myself).

I also log off any tumblr that I'm following people on that post NSFW, porn, sexual stuff or anime stuff if necessary - just like how I log off any tumblrs where I follow political blogs if I'm getting overwhelmed by that. But it is still good to have a tumblr for NSFW stuff, to have somewhere that you can express certain things, reblog things, feel less alone, enjoy things that you enjoy - don't demonize the side of you that likes sex, don't lock it in a cell in the back of your head, just tell it that it can't control you.

I'm also working on not putting myself in as many situations that can make me feel like I'm being too flirty or as many situations that cause too many uncomfortable or sexual thoughts at a time when they're stressing me - like, I don't come online as much when I'm drunk now, I don't have as many sleepovers, and I don't tend to maintain physical contact for as long (like, I don't hold hands as often as I used to), for example.

That said, you can't live out your life hiding from people who your brain might think something sexual about - isolating yourself is unhealthy. Humans are social creatures and social interaction is good for us, talking to people about our problems is good for us, distractions and fun are good for us. I find structured social plans make things easier - so, I like plans like "lets cook together then eat the awesome meal", "lets go see a movie", "lets go to the town center and taste hot chocolate from as many cafés as we can before I puke", "lets go to the fair" and things like that (that said, agoraphobia is awful and ruins like 90% of my social interaction). Keep people in your life who you're comfortable with and who make you happy.

Remember that what you're thinking or mental images that pop into your head aren't evil, it doesn't mean that you have a crush on them, that you actually want to do sexual things with them, that you can't be their friend, or anything like that... they're just thoughts. You didn't choose them. Just let them pass.

Your surroundings and triggers are incredibly important things to stay on top of though, be that to mitigate stress in social situations, or to prevent you from engaging in more sex/masturbation than you want to or than is safe for you to.

Don't spend your day in the same place that you masturbate - even if you don't live alone you can avoid being in bed when you're in your room, you could get a sofa, beanbag, comfy chair, gigantic cushion, or other comfortable place to sit in your bedroom so that you don't have to be in your bed, and put that in a part of your room with different posters/decoration to those around your bed.

Lots of things can become associated with certain behaviours in your brain, from sitting in a certain place to feeling a certain emotion. Try to avoid being too exposed to those things at times when you don't intend to be doing something sexual, and replace them with other things that make you happy, keep you distracted, and aid in training concentration and willpower (maths games, board games, card games, puzzles, reading, cooking, exercise, drawing, writing, etc).

Even things like separating any porn or sexual pictures in your phone into a hidden folder instead of having it pop up when you go to look for pictures, or keeping magazines or the pornhub bookmark out of sight, can really help with lessening the regularity with which things pop into your head.

Finally, and I've hinted at it throughout this, mindfulness and meditation are things that many addicts find incredibly helpful. It's really worth doing some googling, watching some YouTube videos, and learning those techniques (and it's good to be doing research in general into ways to help addictions or hypersexuality disorders, because there are quite a few schools of thought and there are probably a lot of things that I've missed).

Meditation, like reading and exercise, helps train your mind into maintaining focus, not reacting to distractions and urges, relaxing, letting thoughts pass by, and being less hectic and loud - it also has health benefits, can help you sleep, can help you take time from your busy schedule to yourself (an urge that may have been previously feeding the addictions instead, as they can be linked to a need for control), and can help you work through thoughts or anxieties.

Mindfulness helps in various ways too - for example, smokers found that being mindful (observing, essentially) helped them quit because it led to them paying more attention to how bad the cigarette tasted, and it also allowed them to non-judgmentally observe the cravings that they felt, observe why they were feeling those cravings, and allow them to pass by. It's about letting your thoughts exist, letting things exist, acknowledging them, but not letting them control you.

You can study mindfulness for yourself - research it online, read one of the many books about it, watch YouTube videos, etc - or you can go to the doctor and ask for a therapy that teaches mindfulness (I found learning about it in my own time more helpful, and have had more success with that, but I think that was mostly related to not having a great therapist - plus, online gives me more opportunities to look into the how and why, to see how other people do it, to look deeper into it, to take as long as I need, while therapy was just an elderly lady snapping at me for using my phone and telling me to imagine that my thoughts are clouds and distracting me constantly).

So yeah...

Step 1: Go to the doctors for that pain, it's probably something minor but it's better safe than sorry.

Step 2: Do more research, Mod Vape doesn't know everything.

Step 3: Keep a diary and try to isolate what things are triggering you, what you're feeling beforehand, and be mindful of what you're thinking, what you're feeling, and what you're gaining/losing from the experience.

Step 4: Try to keep yourself away from things that trigger you, but also remember that you don't have to entirely abstain from valuable things - you can train new reactions as responses to those things, you can work on self-control, and so on.

Step 5: Work on your routine, diet, exercise, habits, and hobbies, so that you can improve your willpower, motivation, and health.

Step 6: Research and practice meditation and mindfulness.

Step 7: Set and work towards small goals, rewarding yourself for successes and keeping track of your progress.

Step 8: If you can't control the addiction or behaviour, if the thoughts are becoming difficult to live with, if these problems continue to cause you distress, there is no shame in seeking professional help. You don't have to do this alone.

Remember that chemical imbalances and other neurological issues can cause such things - if you can't manage it alone, that could be a warning sign that something serious or physiological is going on. Not being able to quit doesn't necessarily mean that somebody's "not trying hard enough", and instead of beating yourself up talk to somebody who can do blood tests, scans, or whatever else is necessary to make sure that you're okay and that you overcome your struggles.

~ Vape

[swrx-rant]

FORUMS!

THEY ALMOST ALWAYS SUCK, AND THAT HAS LESS TO DO WITH THE USERS THAN THE FUCKING DEVS AND MODS.

SEARCH FUCKING SUCKS - I mean way worse than web-search in general. If you are looking for a specific topic, GOOD FUCKING LUCK. Your best bet is to use a suck-ass web-crawler/search like Google if you want to find anything on a god damned forum.

Searches NEVER USE CONTEXT... if I’m on the page for WINDOWS FUCKING 7, then why are results for versions XP, Vista, 8, and 10 appearing HIGHER in the list?

Searches rarely implement TAGS well, especially the ability to CROSS-REFERENCE TAGS. So, if I search the tags #Tomato #Soup #Recipe, I would actually get ALL AND ONLY recipe results for soups that use tomato, NOT EVERY FUCKING RECIPE ON YOU SITE PLUS EVERY PAGE THAT DISCUSSES SOUPS OR TOMATOES RETURNED IN RANDOM ORDER THAT PLACES THE FIRST RELEVANT MATCH SOMEWHERE ON PAGE FOURTEEN OF FIFTY-THOUSAND!

NAVIGATION FUCKING SUCKS - and this makes the shit-sucking search process all the more painful. Less than 1% of forums are designed with LOGICAL SUB-CATEGORY LEVEL AND RECURSIVE SUB-FORUMS that are applicable to the purpose/theme of the forum. If, for example, you are Microshit and you create a user forum (especially to build free crowd-based help as so many companies are doing rather than staffing call centers with trained and experienced individuals who are competent in the technologies they are assisting with as well as the language the customers are speaking...), then you are EXPECTED to create a Super-Forum and split it first by PRODUCT FAMILY, then split the products into Sub-Forums by PRODUCT MAJOR-VERSION (not fucking build number, jackasses! The same goes for fucking Patch Notes), and then, if you aren’t a total douche you will create an ALTERNATE DIMENSION OF SUBDIVISION, this time by ELEMENT or MAJOR FEATURES - which unless you are a fargin-idgit MUST INCLUDE: “INTERFACE/USER-EXPERIENCE”, “BUGS” (and this one subdivides by the NATURE OF THE BUG AS PERCEIVED BY USERS... these bugs are DISEASES, and like diseases they should be NAMED and CATEGORIZED by SYMPTOMS, but you can skip the Latin names like Mnemitis for an Inflammation of the Memory... which is a fair description of a MEMORY LEAK.), “PERFORMANCE”, “INSTALLATION/ACTIVATION/UPDATES”, “PRIMARY-FUNCTION”, and individually listed USEFUL FEATURES with the ability to add subtopics as necessary ad infinitum. (don’t take that to mean spam us with infinite numbers of adverts)

If you’re not already familiar, check out PHP.NET’s online function reference, its like a hybrid between an authoritarian-wiki and an open forum. Each entry is RELEVANT and EASY TO LOCATE, it has ESSENTIAL INFORMATION and CONCISE EXAMPLES, and allows anyone to give direct USER FEEDBACK//NOTES - I cannot stress the importance of this last part enough, LET PEOPLE TELL YOU WHAT THE FUCK THEY THINK ABOUT EACH FEATURE/ISSUE. You don’t have to automatically make them publicly visible, but you are dipshits if you ignore the extremely valuable resource/insight into your customer-base. Too damned many companies make it unbearably difficult for users to give them FEEDBACK, then they bitch when people switch to a smarter product from a company that actually gives a shit. (hey, that’s not a bad slogan... “we actually give a shit”... the word actually serves to chide the competition here... ;p Along the same vein as, “unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English Accent.”)

THE MODERATORS FUCKING SUCK - I’m sorry, but you guys do. I understand that you’re mainly trying to keep an amorphous blob of bile and twigs from deteriorating into complete crap... but you are FAILING, and its not your fault... the game was rigged from the start, because they were SHIT from the moment they first went online. You guys suck at your jobs because the JOB SUCKS and that’s because the fucking RULES SUCK. Whomever the fuck came up with this shit needs to have a cheese grater ran along their eyelids for an hour each morning.

THE RULES FUCKING SUCK - so of course they turn the mods into assholes and other posters into fuckwads. There are so many issues here, but I will try to focus on the biggest tossers of all the ideas that went into these digital colostomy sacks:

NO NECROS - first of all, if you can bring the dead back to life you deserve a fucking medal, not to be given shit by peers and admins alike, and it’s not like I’m advocating Necro-Larry for President.. though he really wouldn’t be any more scandalous then what we’ve already had. But, more to the point, DO YOU ASSHOLES UNDERSTAND WHAT THE INTERNET FUCKING IS??? (and I’m not being existential here, we’ll leave the philosophical impacts for the future to reflect on). THERE IS NO PAST, THE INTERNET EXISTS IN THE ETERNAL NOW WE CALL THE PRESENT. That means NO MATTER HOW OLD THE POST IS, PEOPLE WILL STUMBLE ACROSS IT IN THE FUTURE. And it will be JUST AS RELEVANT THEN AS IT WAS WHEN CREATED! Especially since BUGS DON’T STAY DEAD, so why should decriers of old problems be told to shut the fuck up? That’s like saying, “Homelessness? We talked about that once in 1932, stop bringing it up already! It’s a dead issue!” (this is the kind of shit you get from people who want to IGNORE PROBLEMS instead of addressing them - FUCK THOSE PEOPLE, THE GENE POOL IS BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEM!) [wow, if you just read the bold that’s really dark... lol. I’m starting to sound like an industrialist.]

LOCKING THREADS - fucking stupid to begin with, especially in response to necromancy, but lets not forget their monumentally fucktarded cousin, the Self-Locking Thread - what kind of cold war cloak and dagger fantasizing bullshit is this? This thread will self-destruct in 5 seconds! I don’t care if its been 10 years, if the problem ain’t been fixed, then SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET TO WORK, don’t cry about someone posting relevant information just because you’ve given up hope of ever fixing it... or assumed no one has noticed.

YOU MUST BE LOGGED IN TO POST - that’s kinda like saying you must suck my ass to breathe... it was a shitty idea when some fuckwad dreamed up that god awful movie, and it ain’t gettin any better. Now, I’m not suggesting anons should be treated the same, but ANYONE should be allowed to post FEEDBACK or SUGGESTIONS whether or not they have an account with your fucktarded forum. Google-Tourists have the right to be heard too! If I find your thread by accident (which lets face it, any result in a Google Search is pretty much an accident), and have something to contribute, I should be able to do so without jumping through 60 billion hoops. I don’t want to be a member, but when a Medical Doctor overhears someone giving Awful Medical Advice or finds someone that ISN’T GETTING THE HELP THEY NEED/ASKED FOR, it is their responsibility to become involved! The same goes for any other profession, I may not be “one of you”, but I know what the fuck I’m talking about so listen the fuck up and be grateful I give a shit (unlike many of you). [wow, that came across conceited... lmao]

REVERSE PAGE ORDER - you lazy, half-assed mother fucking programmers! Shame on you. It might seem like a good idea at the time, but this is one of the biggest blunders you can expound on the web. YOUR FUCKING PAGES MOVE, ¡CAVRONE! Do you understand this??? If a user BOOKMARKS A PAGE, they WON’T GET THE SAME PAGE when they reopen it a year later!!! What does it matter? Go back up and reread the bit about the web being TIMELESS... [take a Physics Lesson while you are at it, this is like asking what was before the Universe... there was no time (as we know it) before the universe, therefor there was nothing before it.] So, when I find your forum in a Floogol search and it links me to page 6 when the actual content it matched is now on page 147, I am understandably PISSED THE FUCK OFF... and the first thing I do is curse Larry and Serge, then I realize this one isn’t even their fault.

I’m sure there are a bunch more rules that are written by simpletons for assholes, but that’s enough for now.

TROLLS FUCKING SUCK - even when they not trying to be assholes, they fail miserably at common decency. I swear I am going to kill the next motherfucker who posts “why would you want to ____” as a reply, especially on a Tech Support Forum. It doesn’t even matter whether its my post, or something I stumbled across after 6 hours of screaming at Serge and Larry’s even less than unhelpful online information location apparatus.

MVPs are Worse than Trolls - how the fuck did these dickshits get the job of officially representing the company? They know less than shit about the product they are supporting, and most of the time they suggest installing questionable third party crapware to solve the problem. (Please don’t confuse “the Microsoft MVPs”, who are actually pretty cool and helpful, with the dumbasses that Microsoft calls MVPs on their fucking support forums... these guys barely speak English and haven’t written a line of code in their life!)

And despite an extra row of Microsoft bashing, this wasn’t targeted at their forums any more than Blizzards or any others... ALL FORUMS ARE SHIT!!!! 

But, hey, you knew all this already... so who the fuck am I even talking to here?