#Fuck Google Search

[meg-megbanom-ezt]

Nincsen bírás a fossá alakult Google keresővel

Ezt biztos már többen megénekelték és szebben, hogy milyen fos lett a Google kereső, és azt is, hogy miért, de most én is leírom mérgemben az egyik saját példámat, mert ez MINŐSÍTETT ESET.

B-vel dolgoztunk együtt, PCA-t (azaz főkomponens-elemzést) kellett csinálnunk és értelmeznünk. Namost, emlékeztem egy tényleg kurvajó oldalra, ahol nagyon alaposan és érthetően leírták a PCA lényegét. Az a típusú anyag, amit szent őrültek csinálnak és szinte el sem hiszed, hogy ilyen minőség ingyen elérhető.

Persze nem könyvjelzőztem le, én hülye, de semmi vész!, mert emlékeztem rá, hogy 1. mikrobiális ökológusok csinálták 2. a címében benne van, hogy GUSTA ME (ciki vagy sem, ezt jórészt a me gusta mémről jegyeztem meg). Ez máris KÉT elég konkrét kereső-kifejezés, ezzel gyerekjáték lesz ráguglizni. Legalábbis azt hiszed, oh my sweet summer child... Akárhogy kombináltam a "microbial ecology"-t, a "gusta me"-t meg a "pca"-t, csak krikszkraksz oldalakat dobott ki, amik jó esetben csak borzalmas fordítások, rossz esetben valami vírus. De én TUDTAM, hogy nem csak hallucináltam a GUSTA ME-t, úgyhogy "anyád picsáját gázlángozd, te szegény szar" felkiáltással inkább felcsaptam a DuckDuckGo-t és az bezzeg egyből kihozta (bár az sem a legelső találatok között, de az első oldalon). És hogy mi a legszebb az egészben? Hogy a GUSTA ME Google Webhelyen található!!! Asszem, nem is kell tovább ragoznom...

[chihirolovebot]

on a real note that bit near the end of the video was genuinely haunting. hearing somerton talk about how gay writers are erased from history was one thing (with all the irony being that he stepped on the backs of numerous underpaid, underprivileged and uncredited queer writers to build his youtube channel) but when h revealed it wasn't even somerton's quote in the first place? the worst, most crushing sort of irony. how do you lament about the erasure of gay people and gay writers in history... whilst erasing a gay writer and taking his words as your own?

[gunpowdercarousel]

I think it's funny that in school teachers were like "don't trust wikipedia because anyone can just go on there and write whatever they want" and now Google is literally having a crusty pile of algorithms wordvomit out whatever random bits of information it hears like some misshapen abomination in the basement trying to mimic human speech and that's just ALLOWED.

[inkskinned]

"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"

dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.

but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.

the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.

so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.

we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.

now leave us alone.

[zuzsenpai]

I feel like people have been warning about this and I completely ignored it. Deep sigh as I force myself to remember to add “-ai” at the end of every fucking search now

(Is there an extension that turns this off??)

[shmaroace]

so tired of people saying asexual when they mean aroace and aromantic when they mean asexual. they are not interchangeable words they have different meanings!!

[kyros-tha-soldier]

The OP dadverse is fucking underrated. Whoever is in charge of the spin-off OP doujins needs to make the next series about them

[leveragehunters]

genuinely and with my entire heart: fuck google

There have long been suspicions that the search giant manipulates ad prices, and now it’s clear that Google treats consumers with the same disdain. The “10 blue links,” or organic results, which Google has always claimed to be sacrosanct, are just another vector for Google greediness, camouflaged in the company’s kindergarten colors. Google likely alters queries billions of times a day in trillions of different variations. Here’s how it works. Say you search for “children’s clothing.” Google converts it, without your knowledge, to a search for “NIKOLAI-brand kidswear,” making a behind-the-scenes substitution of your actual query with a different query that just happens to generate more money for the company, and will generate results you weren’t searching for at all. It’s not possible for you to opt out of the substitution. If you don’t get the results you want, and you try to refine your query, you are wasting your time. This is a twisted shopping mall you can’t escape.

Please at least try DuckDuckGo

[collectingthestars]

i'm genuinely so upset. you're telling me that a campaign whose main slogan was "if you don't know, vote no" is projected to win? what the fuck is wrong with this country

[fatphobiabusters]

I think these suggested questions on Google right next to each other show how much fatphobia and diet culture have destroyed society.

I cannot believe there are people who give a fuck about a flat stomach after giving birth through a major surgery like a C-section. Right after reading suggested questions about almost your entire body being numbed, how the doctor moves your fucking organs around to get your child, and having your body literally cut open, I have to see that enough people asked about the possibility of this surgery giving them a flat stomach that Google decided to make this a suggested search.

This is one of those times that I want to scream and shake people to make them finally wake up and LOOK at the state of this fucked up, fatphobic world. If you care about equality, then start giving a damn about fat people and how severely oppressed we are, because no one would be asking shit about flat stomach C-sections if fat people weren't so despised and discriminated against.

-Mod Worthy

[spaceman-spaetzle]

birthday boy

[squiddlysq]

The only thing better than pathetic men is pathetic men who are out of their fucking minds. I want Gabriel carnally and I can only express this through shitpost art

[bbreaddog]

Digital portrait of Alex from 2021 🥁🩷

[boylikeanangel]

updated that one meme for season 5

[quirkle2]

SUPAH MARIO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[evelynpr]

Google's search engine really failing these days. I'm pretty sure that's supposed to say "dating since their akademiya days"