#tsuneko

[neoclassic]

my favorite girls (<— hasn’t seen season 5)

[kasper7489]

They’re gossiping during work hours

[trail-to-the-artpocalypse]

office girlies 

[nobrashfestivity]

Unknown. Japanese photographer Tsuneko Sasamoto, Tokyo, 1940

Tsuneko Sasamoto / Japan Professional Photographers Society

[circus-sonata]

by Tsuneko Sasamoto / 笹本恒子 Atomic Bomb Dome, Hiorshima / 原爆ドーム (1953)

[greetings-inferiors]

Kouki Midori (HIS NAME IS LITERALLY MR GREEN LMAOOOOOOOOO) is one of the protagonists for my Personal Persona Project, Persona: Green. He’s an 18/19 year old first year uni student, average height, medium length hair, pretty average guy really. He’s kind hearted, with some trickster energy when he’s in a funny mood. He’s very empathetic, and loves hanging out with and interacting with others. He’s quite the optimist, too, believing that worrying about things only leads to too much worrying, and it’s best to move forward and tackle problems. This leads to a problem when he has issues which can’t be easily solved, in which case he tends to just… ignore them. He’s looking forward to his time at uni, being quite skilled at both the arts and sciences, though he intends to pursue solely the sciences. If only he had reason to, say, tutor someone studying literature (foreshadowing). He wears bright colours, like green and yellow, though his wardrobe is pretty basic once you get past the bright colour palette, shirts, jumpers, shorts, and trousers. He gravitates towards people that need his help, so the party members he forms social links with, Miyuki, Safie, Nenji, and Tsuneko, are all those that he can help find purpose and meaning in life, whether that be helping Safie find a passion in the human world, or helping Tsuneko cope with and live around her disability.

His persona is Arthur, of the Sun arcana, legendary king of England. He manifests as a knight in smooth, gleaming white and yellow armour, with a helmet in one hand and jewelled sword in the other, his hair flowing behind him. He is atop a steed, or at least half a steed, made of that same metal. His element is Holy/light, but he also functions as a healer. He maybe even buffs others, idk.

Kouki himself wields a sword, obviously. The foliage that lets him summon Arthur manifests as a wreath atop his head, that he slashes with his sword (because he just has to be that cool). His fighting style is strategic and graceful, fitting for the leader, and he’s ready to support his teammates that focus more on offence.

At the start of the story he’s just moved to a new city, when he notices a cough, and going for a check up, is informed he has caught a very early lung cancer, and that he should consider himself lucky he caught it so early, and so his chances of living are very optimistic with treatment. He has faith in humanity, having been shown kindness all his life, and he’s more than happy to repay that kindness to others, a belief goaded by a tad unprofessional doctor waxing poetic about humanity’s advancements when it comes to saving lives. Across his journey he sees both the good and bad in humanity, learning that while not everyone always are what they seem, everyone has the potential to do good, no matter who they are.

If I had to sum up his relationship with each of the party members:

Miyuki: The strongest bond on the team, he’s able to see through her walls and teasing and see who she really is. He’s determined to bring out the best in her, while not letting her off the hook easily when she messes up. He sees the best in everyone, but you have to put in work to be the best, y’know? He does genuinely really respect her, too, and finds her funny lol

Safie: She kinda forced herself into his life and is crashing at his place, but can see that she’s a lovely person, even if her grasp (or lack thereof) of humans, society, and boundaries can make it hard to get along. They’re practically siblings.

Nenji: They hang out at restaurants quite a lot, they just like to shoot the shit. Nenji is quite unconfident and Kouki helps him to come out of his shell and have confidence in himself, and stand up for himself.

Shin: Appreciates Shin’s professionalism and tactical combat style. Very much respects him in an academic context as well, constantly asking for insight into maths coursework, which Shin happily provides.

Yoshie: Kind of terrified of her, she acts quite manic around him. She’s a great fighter and her bubbly enthusiasm is great for the group, she’s just… a lot.

Tsuneko: He helps her counteract and live with her fatigue, and enjoys seeing her have more and more energy as the year goes on. Also enjoys listening to her rambling about whatever thing she’s interested in recently.

Johnny: Loves how enthusiastic Johnny is, and it drives Miyuki insane so he’ll go along with any of his antics. They have matching cowboy hats that Johnny bought for him.

[godofvillains-arch]

@utallige

That wasn't a face he expected to see again. Though, he didn't recall much about her other than her face. He didn't keep memories of those who weren't exactly important to him.

"Welcome," he greets casually, as if he's never seen her before. There were a few felines in the tea shop, the place being sort of a cat cafe of some kind, but with tea.

[lovedaisy02]

Feneko x tsunoda?

Yes.

[kasper7489]

Some old doodles

[trashcatsnark]

I was tagged by the lovely @derelictheretic to make my otps/ships in this picrew

OTP: Candy Cigarettes- Mamoru Kishi x Tsuneko Tomori (KBTBB)

My most wholesome of ships and it started with him buying her~!

OTP: Flower of Eden- Dahlia Hale x Seed Siblings (FC5)

Yes I did them all separately next to her because it wouldn't let me just slap this mess of a ship into one spot. A mess of stockholme syndrome and bullshit

OTP: Mold on Fruit- Johnny Silverhand x Aidan Becker (CP2077)

For when you want some toxic vibes and codependency, but not a whole generation's worth- ya know?

[kitxkatrp]

Muse BIO: Tsuneko

BIO can be found here. Tsuneko is an orphan living at an Orphanage in Konoha. Her dream is to become a shinobi, but as she has no formal training this is but a dream for now.

[sips-tea-cutely]

BUT BUT

my barbies,,,they matter too,,,,

they have feelings,,,

BUT akutagawa and atsushi are on the cover of vol. 20 and that’s literally the worst vol for both of them what if akutagawa cries and then bumps himself the precious thing is ruined 💔💔💔

[circus-sonata]

by Tsuneko Sasamoto / 笹本恒子 Geisha School / 芸者学校 (1951)

[greetings-inferiors]

Hello I am stealing @ammstify's format of having a post per character mwahahaha

Miyuki Kawashita is One of the protagonists for my Personal Persona Project (hehehe PPP), Persona: Green (Name is probably sticking lol). She's a 19/20 year old second year uni student, quite tall and slender, a bit too slender, almost to the bone, with short hair (she got that Bi Bob). She’s also straight-up-not-having-a-good-time™️. She’s quick to snap and gets frustrated pretty easily. When faced with adversity she gets angry at it, herself, or life. But normally she’s just kind of ready to get out of wherever place she’s being forced to be, so being forced to tutor some guy (what’s his name? Kou-something?) as part of a Uni scheme is her worst nightmare. Later on, when she’s in the party who all have weird zany personalities, she acts as the straight man in most scenarios, being the most “normal” amongst the dumbasses, but she warms up to their antics. The party members she tends to be closer with (and so form social links with) are those that are chiller (like Kouki and Shin) or those that come to her for help (like Yoshie and Johnny, who won’t stop bothering her /begrudgingly affectionate). Her “style” reflects her personality, she really doesn’t care for what she wears, normally wearing a hoodie and jeans, similar to Tsuneko (a trait that won’t stop Yoshie from pestering them to come on shopping trips. It does lead to her getting a better fashion sense though). Even though she’s not old enough at the start of the story (the age for smoking being 20 in Japan I believe), she does smoke when she gets too stressed, and leverages her height and stress-addled student complexion to try and join strangers for a smoke break, a trait that may get her roped into misadventures of the cognitive variety. But enough about personality >:(

Her Persona is Lancelot, of the Moon arcana, who is a trusted knight and comrade of Arthur, but also one often characterised as a dark knight, as he goes on to betray him. A morally grey type, if you will. He is a knight in dark purple-black jagged (like lightning) armour riding a horse (or at least the head and front legs of a metallic horse thing), wielding a jagged deep blue and black lance (shut up I know Lancelot only really used a sword shut up it fits the name and I don’t want both protags wielding swords stfu) that looks as if it has been flash frozen by dark ice. His element is ice, and has access to a lot of spells that grant buffs to herself at the cost of health. It’s quite a selfish persona in that way, harming to help herself, which will contrast to the character development she gets later on.

Miyuki herself wields a lance (it first manifests when she tries to stab Safie from far away when she provoked her into summoning her weapon lol), and the foliage that lets her summon Lancelot manifests as vines wrapped around her wrists, linked like shackles. Her fighting style focuses on all out offence, her weapon and persona’s long reach not letting enemies get away.

At the start of the story her father has just been convicted for the murder of her mother (dramatic, I know), though her mother was not good to her at all (leading her to almost believe she wished her mother’s death to happen). She’s lost faith in humanity, having only been around horrible people and convinced she’s horrible herself, a belief goaded by a mysterious man on his smoke break outside the courtroom. Being forced to interact and work with the optimist Kouki and the rest of the party slowly leads her to come to see the good in humanity, and that she isn’t inherently evil because of the people who birthed and raised her.

If I had to sum up her relationship with each of the party members (this will make sense once I’ve finished everyone’s profile lmao):

Kouki: the strongest bond on the team, these two almost become platonic soulmates. Kouki’s empathy and similarly intimate relationship with mortality lets him connect with her and see through her walls in a way that not many of the other party members are able to. They both have a similar sense of humour too, which is a bonus lol

Safie: Gets on her nerves, but Miyuki’s trying to get her to warm up to her sister, Agatha, so begrudgingly tries to play diplomat. They probably have the most similar fighting style, so they form this weird bond, almost a professional relationship.

Nenji: He’s kinda lame, so she tends to pick on him a fair amount. She doesn’t mean much ill will, think of how Morgana picks on Ryuji, but as I’m trying to write an actual character (I will take any and every opportunity to bash Morgana), it can go too far, and as Nenji’s quite unconfident he’s not the best at speaking up for himself. Later on into the story their relationship becomes a lot healthier when they set boundaries for their banter and it becomes a lot less one sided.

Shin: As the eldest of the group, Miyuki relates to him more than the others, and she’s definitely thankful for his much chiller personality. They get along like a housefire for this reason, hanging out with Shin is like a break from the others. But she isn’t above teasing him when he’s being clueless too.

Yoshie: Finds her too loud and bright, but as the only other (human) girl on the party when she joins Yoshie looks to Miyuki for her inter-team romantic exploits. She also doesn’t mind having clothes bought for her, so she doesn’t complain (too much) when whisked on shopping sprees. Is a big fan of whenever her inner demon comes out, compared to most of the rest of the party who are a bit terrified.

Tsuneko: Miyuki finds her fatigue detrimental to the team, and gives her a hard time for it, but backs off when she’s a.) just as capable as any other team member, being indispensable as the navi, and b.) is going through her “learning to respect people” phase. Once she has warmed up to her she finds solace in another chill party member, a trait seemingly more rare to find.

Johnny: He, for some inexplicable reason, thinks she’s the coolest most badass woman alive, and won’t stop pestering her to get “coolness” lessons. First advice? Don’t fucking call them coolness lessons. Second piece of advice? PLEASE stop wearing those sunglasses inside. No they don’t add to “the look” please everyone’s looking at you weird oh god NO WHY IS YOSHIE WEARING PINK SHADES ARGGGGH SAFIE DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THOSE STAR SHAPED GLASSES, WHY ARE WE IN THE GLASSES AISLE (basically the rest of the team join in on Johnny’s antics because it winds up Miyuki, how the tables have turned)

[still-fatemeh]

失 しっ 敗 ぱい (shippai)

Dark era! dazai X prostitute! reader

[The reader has a name, again. Because I don't like putting the word y/n into the fic, but this isn't really an oc, you can read your name instead of the character's. Tsuneko was the name of the bartender yozo commits double suicide in No Longer Human, that results in his survival and tsuneko's death. I've written this a long time ago, its ooc and full of mistakes but bare with me I'm writing another one that's better. Dazai acts younger than his dark era counterpart but he's addressed as an executive, his age something between sixteen to seventeen. But I wrote this with fifteen dazai in mind, which makes the age of the girl a bit too messed up, so I abandoned it. She's a year younger. And yes, I stole one too many parts from the light novels 'cause my english wasn't that good at the time. Enjoy (^3^)/]

It was a dumping ground-a place long forgotten by all. Beneath the stormy sky of the night lay haphazard piles of shipping containers, one on top of the other like dead bodies. Toxic substances illegally dumped in the area seeped into the open soil. Even field mice knew to stay away.

The sound of high heels clicking on the ground and dazai's soundless dress shoes was the only thing that could be heard at such hour at night. The figure in red dress was a guest, stepping hesitantly behind dazai. Tsuneko had been doubting her decision one too many times now, but was following him meekly nonetheless.

Not located on any map, this was the loneliest place in Yokohama. And near its center lived Dazai.

Dazai didn't live in a house, though. He lived inside one of the thrown-away shipping containers originally used for exporting cars to foreign countries.

As soon as dazai stopped walking, tsuneko questioned.

"Where's this, dazai-san?"

Dazai turned and looked right at her with a sheepish smile as he put his hands in his pockets.

"It's a good hideout for you tonight."

He turned back to face the front once again and took two more steps forward before stopping.

"The reason I'm taking you here is because you need a place to stay for tonight, as simple as that. And this is as far away and secluded as a place can get in the city. There's no better hiding spot for someone. Don't worry. I won't kill you."

He said with a soft and carefree laugh that made a shiver run down tsuneko's spine.

She entered the container after dazai did, as quiet as a mouse. After dazai turned on the only light, she observed the inside with a confused look.

Inside the large container was a refrigerator, an exhausted fan, a desk and chair, a bed, and a small and a naked light bulb.

"Is this where you live?"

She asked with a skeptical tone of voice.

"Unfortunately, yes."

He turned and faced her as he folded his arms behind his back.

"The organisation I work for could supply me with a house but I don't care for that kinda thing. This place is enough for me."

He tilted his head ever so slightly and stared at the ceiling for a moment as a thoughtful look came across his face.

"Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"No, not at all... Go ahead."

Tsuneko answered as she kicked off her heels. She wasn't as tense as before. She didn't even seem uncomfortable because of the oddity that was the shipping as a home. Dazai assumed she'd seen worse, so that wasn't a big deal for her.

"What's it like living at the brothel?"

He turned and looked directly at her with a solemn expression, he then walked over to the light switch and turned it off, leaving only the gentle glow of the outside night sky shining into the container from the gaps in between the metal walls. He then took a seat back on the bed and motioned towards her.

"Sit with me."

"It's... nothing pleasant."

She finally spoke with a hint of disdain in her voice though she managed to flash him a faint smile of gratitude for sheltering her tonight as she slowly walked towards him, the sound of unsure feet stepping on the metal flooring cutting through the silence.

"Why do you wanna know?"

Tsuneko sat on the bed, giving him a glance from the corner of her eyes. Baby blue, and glassy like porcelain, shining in the dark.

"Just curious."

He smiled with his gaze still locked onto her pale, azure stare. He could understand her cautiousness and uncertainty. She had been living on the run, and she was right to be afraid of him. However, in this specific case, she had no reason to be wary. As weird as it sounds, right now dazai's intentions were pure.

"Does he hurt you a lot? The owner I mean."

Her eyes darted to the ground, looking somewhere in the darkness with a solemn face.

"He raised me, I have no right to complain. And now he wants the money he spent on me back."

She sighed, shaking her head, trying to forget the stinging wounds and the screaming, especially the night that never fades in her memory.

"But it was too much money in a really short time..."

Dazai let out a breath and looked down at the bed in a melancholy expression as he listened to her.

"So how many years of your pay go to him, then?"

His voice was soft and gentle, but his eyes were cold in an unsettling way as he waited for her reply. It was something he knew, but wanted her to say it herself.

"Two years of my pay 'til now, the filthy money that I made since I was fifteen. He wants the rest of it whole, and I have no such way of getting all that much money all of a sudden."

Her eyes were empty, they reminded him of his own when he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

She went silent a few minutes, before speaking again.

...

"I've always wondered dazai-san, is there a reason you wear bandages on the right side of your face, is there an injury?"

There wasn't an injury.

A random question, to distract herself from the demons of her past.

A slight chuckle and a grin crossed his face as he looked at her.

"There's no injury. It's purely cosmetic. I do it because it looks neat! That's pretty much it."

He then paused in thought, looking into the shadows with his one visible eye.

She merely cocked a brow at his response, her eyes glimmering in that darkness with something akin to amusement.

"I've never seen anyone use bandages as cosmetics, it's weird honestly. Are you trying to make your soul look more pretty and beautiful? Because your appearance only looks more frail and sickly with them on."

She teased, a quiet chuckle escaped her lips.

"Heh, you sure have a way with words."

He tilted his head in amusement as she teased.

"So basically you're saying I look ugly with the bandages and even more ugly without them?"

She snickered lightheartedly at his response.

"No, you're quite a handsome guy, in my opinion..."

She praised him with a giggle, it felt like a mother praising her little son in a new outfit. It didn't sound flirtatious at all.

Dazai blinked, a perplexed look flashed over him for a few moments as tsuneko praised him in a motherly way. He wasn't sure how to take it. It wasn't unpleasant just a bit strange.

"Tell you what. I'm feeling generous tonight. How about, for tonight only, you can call me dazai, just dazai. Not dazai-san. There's no need for such 'honorifics'."

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He wanted to keep himself detached but that little smile gave away his hidden emotions.

She tilted her head to the side, looking at him with a surprised expression.

"I'm aware you don't like me asking personal questions about you but, what do you do for a living, dazai?"

He just tilted his head in a more thoughtful manner.

"You know the Port Mafia, right? Well... I'm a member of this group. Specifically an executive."

He explained it with the most casual and relaxed tone of voice possible.

She snickered even louder.

"Yeah, also, I'm not a whore, I'm an actress playing roles in hollywood!"

Tsuneko joked in an exggrated manner, not taking his statement of being a port mafia executive seriously. She thought he said it as a joke.

Port mafia was a terrifying organisation, there's no way this lump of bandages could be working there. You needed to be an inhumane monster to be able to do such dirty work and also, the money was probably filthier than the money she made.

"Where do you actually work? Or are you just loafing around in a shipping container living off unemployment benefits from the government?"

Dazai just stared at her for a moment as she spoke. Then, out of the blue, he just started laughing. And when he started laughing, he continued laughing louder and louder. At first it was just a light chuckle, but soon it turned into a hysterical laughter. He held his right arm across his chest as the left gripped his sides.

His body started shaking from the laughter as his mouth formed a wide grin.

"Why? Why do you think so hard about me being an executive of the Port Mafia? Is it impossible for you to believe?"

His hysterical laughter made tsuneko gulp hard, trying to make sense of dazai's behaviour.

He was a bit nuts, that was for sure.

"But, my guy... People like mafia executives are filthy rich, they don't live in shipping containers or go to dingy brothels for a night of fun. They are important people with loads of money, a number that you and I can't even dream of, at least I can't."

Tsuneko was just a girl. Compared to him, she was as innocent as a lamb.

She just tapped her index finger on her bottom lip in an overdramatic display of thoughtfulness.

"To me, you seem to be from a rich background. You are intelligent, educated and well-spoken and your clothes look quite expensive. Maybe just the fact that you weren't raised properly. Something happened and you aren't with your family anymore. Did they disown you or something?"

The girl's assumptions were based on her logic and proofs but only this time, she was dead wrong.

To an outsider, seeing the title of Mafia executive on a guy who could easily be mistaken for some kid would be a hilarious joke. But they wouldn't be laughing if they saw Dazai's list of achievements, a dark and bloody list.

Around half of the Port Mafia's profits those past year were all thanks to him. A little girl like her couldn't even fathom just how much money that was, nor how many lives were lost as a result.

Dazai's laughter continued as he placed his hands on his knees and hunched over in delight. His hair fell over his eyes as his voice was muffled from all the laughter.

"Oh, tsuneko-chan! What a silly little girl you are."

He looked up at the shocked and to an extent concerned girl with a wide grin.

"You're right about one thing, I came from a wealthy family. And no, I was not disowned by them. I left of my own will. Why? I was bored. The answer's simple like that. I just got bored."

She flashed him a semi-worried expression and her brow shot up in confusion upon hearing his intense laughter.

:"Are you okay, my guy? Like... are you fine? How much did you drink at that bar?"

She shook her head with faux disappointment.

"I'm completely fine."

The corners of his mouth curled up into a faint grin as he stared down at the girl.

:"You left your family, because you merely got bored?"

She asked, a little perplexed by that apathy.

:"I don't know why... But that's completely up your alley, dazai."

Tsuneko's tone shifted to a more serious one as she said that.

"Yes, it is exactly something I would do. It's not that hard to understand."

Dazai took a moment to calm himself as a more serious expression crossed his face.

"You know, you're awfully curious, tsuneko-chan. You've asked me quite a few questions."

He raised his eyebrows slightly as he looked down at her.

She gives him an unconvinced expression, her brows knitted together in confusion but she eventually just sighs softly.

"I get that a guy like you might get bored of his own family, It sounds like something you would do because, yeah, that's totally up your alley. But... But... Do you not miss them? Did you not love them? Didn't you want any of that inheritance money?"

She asked, with sincerity in her eyes. Despite the fact that her mother died in a brothel, she'd still give up her life to see her just one more time.

He stayed silent for a moment as he considered her question.

"Miss them? Love them?"

Dazai's eyes narrowed as he looked into the dark void once more.

"Of course I miss them. That kind of attachment does not disappear in a few months. And as for love...."

He closed his eyes and chuckled.

"I've heard of it before, but what exactly is love? What is 'missing' someone? I may be a simple-minded individual, but I have not yet learned any of these things."

She takes it back, he is more than a little nuts, indeed.

"Love is an attachment, an attachment to life."

Tsuneko answered, her eyes and expression blank though her tone was slightly grim.

"You wanna cherish the one that you love. That type of attachment leads to sacrifice... It's when you put someone else before yourself."

She spoke with a far off look on her face.

The word 'love'. Did it have any meaning? Love was filth for people like her.

"You know... I think I figured why you want to kill yourself so bad. We accept the love we think we deserve, you think you don't deserve any. You view yourself as a stranger, dazai."

She gently touched his hand, as a form of reassurance.

"Do you think I need someone telling me that?"

He stared down at her her hand as the corners of his lips curved upwards into a light smile. Something about the gesture was quite touching.

"But thank you, the way you spoke about love sounds beautiful. I haven't seen much love and attachment in this cruel world thus far. It is quite nice."

He remained silent for a moment, lost in thought.

"Hmm, am I a stranger to myself? I suppose you could be right. I never really thought about that."

A faint frown grew on his face as he looked up at tsuneko again.

"It looks as if you are."

She just commented with a soft sigh.

But she wasn't looking at him, it seemed that she was somewhere far away, truly deep into her memories. With the far off and grim look on her face, dazai could guess that they were far from good memories.

She intertwined their fingers and brought it to her lips, pecking his hand oh so gently.

He flinched from the sudden action and turned to look at tsuneko, his left eyebrow raised.

"Hmm?"

He looked down at their intertwined fingers as they were brought to her lips. A light blush spread across his cheeks and his dark brown eyes widened as he looked at her in surprise.

He didn't know what he was feeling in this moment—was it pleasure, discomfort, or maybe something else entirely? The words 'love' and 'attachment' still sounded new to him.

"Tsuneko-chan, what exactly was that just now?"

He chirped with a lighthearted tone, his face not at all in sync with what was going on in his head.

Was she flirting? Was it a form of comfort? Or was it something entirely different—a gesture of gratitude for giving her shelter here tonight?

He had no idea, but he certainly felt something.

"Old habits die hard."

She spoke, seemingly nonchalant as she let go of his hand.

"What I mean is... I owe you one, I'd have to repay you one way or another... However you'd want me to."

The girl was speaking with a lopsided grin, as if unbothered by all that happened.

Dazai's face was stained by a bright shade of red. He was stunned, completely speechless as he stared at her with his eyes widened in sheer disbelief.

Did she actually just…

Did she really just offer to—

Oh.

That's exactly what she did.

He didn't know what to say. So much was happening all at once that his brain felt like it was moving in slow motion.

"Red suits you."

Tsuneko's lips absent-mindedly twitched into a pleased smile, as she said that. Her tone a bit teasing.

"I've never seen you flustered before..."

She mused, suppressing the urge to giggle.

This guy was a mystery to his core, unravelling him has to be like unravelling bandages... layer by layer. Dazai was willing to get to know her... It wasn't everyday that people wanted a whore's opinion on questions like whether or not life is worth living. He listened to what she had to say, and that was enough for her to consider his company a bliss.

Dazai's cheeks were on fire by this point. Everything she said was pushing his nerves to the very edge. She even said red suits him—his cheeks were burning up—and he didn't have any logical explanations for this whatsoever. Something about hearing these words come out of her mouth just threw him off.

"You certainly have a strange way of showing gratitude."

"Do I now?"

She said, cocking a brow in amusement.

"It's the only way I know."

The next words however, left her mouth quietly, with a sarcastic edge to them.

Umi curled up more comfortably on the bed they were sitting on, hugging her knees with a sigh.

"But all jokes aside, thank you for getting me out of the brothel without any pressure for doing... stuff, even for one night. I was really going crazy there, tomorrow when the owner wanted his money, I didn't have any chance to pay him back but now at least I can buy some time... I really owe you for tonight."

She said with a subtle smile.

"It seems that I really have a talent for getting myself into debt, hm?"

Dazai nodded at her and a faint smile spread across his face.

"You really do have a talent for that, tsuneko-chan."

He paused for a moment, his mind going over every word she said. Why did he offer to help in the first place? What was even going through his mind at this rate? As he thought, he shifted his focus of on her and raised a eyebrow.

"You're really that deep in debt, huh?"

"For... A lot of people the amount I owe the owner isn't considered much, but for me it's quite a lot of money."

She mumbled with a quiet voice, the words leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. She still remembered very well the last time she told the owner she didn't have the money, even the thought of it made her body hurt.

After a few minutes of silence, she broke it with a whisper of his name.

"Dazai..."

She looked at the ceiling with a blank expression on her face.

"Were you actually telling the truth when you said you worked in the port mafia for a living, as an executive? You weren't joking?"

He remained quite for a moment. His silence hung in the air as he stared down at the girl with an almost eerie seriousness. He wanted to say "yes" but his mouth wouldn't form the words. It was almost as if his throat was filled with concrete. His dark eyes darted away from her as his body language seemed much more timid than before. He looked away and finally muttered something.

"Yes..I was telling the truth."

Tsuneko let out a loud groan and rolled over in his bed. Her back facing him, she was internally cursing herself for... she couldn't even say for what, but her options were quite a lot.

"So that must real the real deal then?"

She said aimlessly, her hand pointed to the direction of the coat hanger, a silver pistol's handle sticking out of the pocket of his one of coats. It was one of his subordinates' that he'd Probably forgotten to return. Probably the reason she'd asked the question in the first place. She didn't look scared while pointing that out, her expression was solemn, her eyes clouded over with something unrecognizable.

There was a moment of intense silence in the air. Tsuneko was pointing her finger to and the outline of the gun in the pocket of his coat and he had already noticed her staring at it. He looked back down at his coat and then back up at her again. When he finally opened his mouth, his voice sounded strangely stern.

"Yes..It is the real deal."

The man in front of her probably was the thing he said he was, an executive of the port mafia. He could've easily be mistaken for some boy. Too young to be taken seriously. That sparked the same question again, why did he lived in a shipping container? If he was really an executive, he would've been filthy rich.

Of all the questions she could've asked, the most uselessly obvious one found its way to her lips.

"Have you ever... killed someone?"

The girl speaks with a slightly stretched out voice.

There was a slight hesitation, but he eventually answered.

"More times than I can count. The first time was when I was 14."

He answered simply, his face void of emotions despite what he was saying. His dark eyes showed nothing. He sat there as if he were narrating a story from a book instead of an admission of guilt. Yet his words held a certain weight to them. The weight of all his past deeds.

Tsuneko gulped.

She'd fucked up.

She'd fucked up so bad.

She'd trusted a guy who'd killed more people than he could count... but that was exactly it. She didn't regret her decision. A port mafia executive, an actual executive of the port mafia... If he really was from Port Mafia, she would have to be careful even about lifting or lowering a spoon in front of him. When it comes to the Port Mafia, the synonym of darkness and violence, there's no assurance that if she does something he doesn't like she wouldn't be murdered. That'd definitely hurt more than the owner's beating.

"Aren't you gonna sleep?"

Tsuneko asked dryly, the back of her head still facing dazai.

"No, not really. When I close my eyes and try to sleep, I always end up having the same nightmare."

He leaned back against the bed, putting his hands behind his head. His dark brown eyes fixed in on the ceiling for a few moments, before he looked at her.

Umi sat up on the bed and her eyes silently scanned his face, a curious expression shining on her features.

"A nightmare? Is it the same one every night?"

What it would take for a nightmare to keep a person like you awake at nights?

He remained silent for a moment. The dark brown of his single visible eye flashed with a slight spark of sympathy as he saw the sad expression on her face. She seemed so innocent yet she was stuck here. A life of pain and agony. He had to look away from her for a moment before finally speaking again.

"And... Yes, it's the same nightmare every time."

"What is that nightmare of yours that manages to keep you awake at nights?"

It was more or less a rhetorical question, she knew he wasn't going to answer him.

"The only thing I can imagine you fearing, is not being able to die."

She said that with a subtle smile.

"Maybe it's a warning of some sort."

A soft, bitter smile spread across his lips. But his eyes remained filled with sorrow and his words carried the faint feeling of shame.

"It is a warning of sorts. Not being able to die. But there is also another part of this nightmare that keeps me up at night."

His voice felt hoarse as the next words had a certain difficulty in coming out of his mouth. As he spoke, he kept his eyes trained on the ceiling. He couldn't bring himself to even look at the girl sitting in front of him.

"You really think that I would just snap and kill you for a random ass reason..? Don't you think that's a bit of a stretch?"

"Common sense commands me to be scared of the person with a loaded gun."

She whispered softly under her breath.

"Ah, I see. I'd imagine you would've met quite a lot of shady characters, working in a brothel."

"Yeah, I know. I've met lots of port mafia members, they're far from friendly if they don't get what they want. Working in a place like I do, you will see this kind of people a lot. People who are used to getting their way, one way or another."

She says that with a distant gaze and he just nods his head.

"You're funny."

Tsuneko suddenly said with a calm smile.

:"That's the first thing that struck my thoughts when you first spoke about how excited you were to finally off yourself, explaining and comparing different methods of suicide like you were comparing different games you wanted to play. Any normal person fears death, but you seem to be driven towards it, hoping for a kind of excitement. Something to cure you boredom but man..."

She spoke with a mindless snicker, albeit a little bit bitter.

"But... I bet you know better... Bein' mafia and stuff... But death isn't anything exciting. No one around me has died with dignity, they've all died like street mice stuck in a glue trap. Died in fear, in pain, in filth, in blood. So to think that you want to die so bad, really annoys me. Because death isn't anything precious to begin with."

His eyebrows narrowed as he heard her words. Was she mocking him? Was she scolding him? His mouth contorted into a grimace at the way she talked about life and death as if it was something simple. His voice was barely a whisper as he whispered back to her.

"Then why haven't you died yet? If the world is so full of pain and suffering for you, why do you bother to breathe each day? Why did you crawl out of the drainage ditch instead of just lying there and dying?"

"The less you have to lose, the more you cling to life. Hoping for something that will never come..."

She says, her smile not faltering. But it was certainly bitter now. Her gaze was as sticky as mud.

"There's also something else..."

She leaned closer to whisper into his ear.

"I'm scared of the fact that when I die, there wouldn't be anyone there to bury my corpse, no one to mourn for me. Dying in a cold dark alley, left there to rot for god know how much time."

Her pale blue eyes rivalled his chocolate ones, in terms of how much they were depraved of light.

"Let me tell you something, my guy. Death wouldn't be anything out of your expectations, nothing beyond what you would expect will appear. Death isn't the sweet release, it's just another step in life that you have to take."

He finally turned his eyes back at her. They were darker and sadder than before, void of all light. His mouth was set into a soft frown. With a weak voice, full of resignation, and perhaps acceptance, he whispered at her, his tone strangely empty.

"Why... Why didn't you just let the owner kill you back there? If the world is so pointless, and people suffer so greatly... why do you cling so desperately to life? There's nothing here for you, especially not for someone like you. Just let go already."

"I... don't want to die like a sewer rat, dazai."

Tsuneko's words came out as a desperate plea for life.

Then it hit dazai, she wasn't like him.

"My mother wanted me to become someone who she could be proud of. A person of value. I'm not going to let her down, not when she sacrificed everything so I could live."

She had nothing to lose, it doesn't matter how many times life kicks her down, she'd still stand up.

Dazai could see the determination in her eyes, the intent to survive.

"As long your heart is beating, you shouldn't waste it, not a lot of people have that privilege. "

"...The human spirit. It never ceases to amaze me."

Dazai mumbled those words under a quiet breath. His words were full of both admiration as well as some contempt. Admiration for the sheer strength she had. Contempt for the fact that she was so naive at the same time.

"Your mother must be a good person if her last wish for you was for you to live a meaningful life."

A smile found it's way to her lips, a wide, beaming smile like a little girl who'd just been gifted a precious doll. her eyes crinkled with her smile.

:"I loved her so much... and I still do. I would give up on the world just to see her smile one more time."

She mumbled, looking at dazai with glimmering pupils, dilated with childlike joy. A total contrast from her eyes a few moments ago.

"Do you want to know what my mom did when I woke up crying because of a nightmare? How she lulled me back to sleep?"

She asked with a wide grin.

"What did she do?"

Dazai asked quietly, not missing the sudden, stark contrast in her expression. There was a certain warmth that suddenly appeared in her eyes. Almost as if she were a different person.

"Why don't I show you?"

She giggled, flashing him a cheeky grin.

Tsuneko brushed a hand through her hair, gesturing him to lay his head on her lap so she could stroke his hair. The smile lingered on her lips, it was enduring in a way.

There was a moment of doubt, a moment where he considered whether accepting her invitation or refusing it, before he finally did. He slowly placed his head on her lap, looking up at her with a somewhat puzzled expression.

Her hands began to stroke his hair as she mumbled some old melody under her breath. Her touch was soft and gentle and there was something comforting and nostalgic about it. As if he'd felt it before. But despite the comforting nature of her gesture, dazai's nose was still scrunched up uncomfortably.

"Is what I'm doing right now, perhaps... bothering you?"

She asked him with a sly grin.

"No."

Dazai replied in a soft, almost monotonous voice. But there was no mistaking that the touch of her hand was soothing to him. However, he wasn't going to tell her that. There was something a little bit embarrassing about it. Still, he decided not to move or resist against her. He just let his hair be stroked and his eyes be fixed on her.

She couldn't help the smile creeping up her face, as she saw his face. Dazai looked like an awe-struck boy.

"You like it, don't you?"

She teased him in a playful manner as she ran her fingers through his chocolate locks gently.

:"Your hair is so fluffy~"

She said in a baby voice, giggling as she messed his hair. Dazai was surprised at how much it came naturally to her, being this affectionate. Tsuneko has never had anyone to shower with her affection, now that he wasn't resisting it, she continued. Just like a little girl playing with a doll, showering it with with care and affection.

For an executive of the Port Mafia this was something beyond embarrassing for him. He was being treated like a little kid again. He thought of how this would look to people if they knew the fearsome Port Mafia executive that dazai was, was laying down in the lap of a prostitute with his eyes half-closed in pleasure. But the only thing he could really do was enjoy the moment as he lay there. It felt a little bit shameful, how much this affected him. He even felt his stomach flutter as her fingers ran through his hair and she spoke in that soft baby voice.

Dazai couldn't help but consider that she had an ulterior motive from all this, that she was putting up an act to deceive him. But the thing that scared him even further, was that he couldn't find any proof for his assumptions.

The smile on her face seemed so genuine, so sincere... like she was showing him a glimpse of her conscious, how it feels when she loves somebody.

While he was looking for a sign to tell that she was acting, he noticed her smile. Her smile was soft and gentle, full of fondness. As childish as it was, her smile was beautiful. It was so enduring the way her cheeks had a red hue to them, when she looked at him like that. It was a rare moment of vulnerability on both sides.

He kept staring at her. He let everything sink in. He took in all the beauty of her smile, of her blush, of her eyes. This simple, silly little gesture was causing him to feel so much. He couldn't get enough of her eyes. He could have stayed like this forever- just staring up at her, as she stared down at him. It was something unexpected, but also not unwelcome. He felt like, for the first time in such a long time, he wasn't a cold-hearted outsider. He was feeling human again.

Tsuneko leaned closer to his ear.

"I promise... Tonight, there wouldn't be any nightmares..."

She whispered, her voice filled with a sincere certainty, she knew that tonight he wouldn't be seeing any nightmares. Before muttering something else under her breath, which he couldn't quite grasp what it was, perhaps, 'good night'?

That was the last thing he heard before he fell asleep...

[thisworld1]

Falling into the depths of the shiyabondama sky (Takemura Tsuneko's first collection of poems "TÉNÉRÉ"). Text by 武邑廢杖子@saudade @P0LYPHEMUS