#tua fan video

[frozenwafflesagain]

Guess what? I’m alive!

One depressive episode and job change later, I made it to the other side. And I want to get back to making content again!

[auxiliarydetective]

OC Pride Challenge: Day 15

You can find the challenge here

This week, it's all about LGBTQIA+ artists, so today I'm using a song by Cavetown for Kassandra Hargreeves.

This song is a song I absolutely love and I'm really happy this challenge prompted me to use it for an edit.

You can read this edit both ways. Kassandra is definitely the caretaker of the family, with her telepathy and all. The different lines are what she tells her siblings but she fails to see that they also apply to her when her siblings try to do the reverse.

Song: Talk to Me by Cavetown

Characters:

The Hargreeves siblings (The Umbrella Academy)

Kassandra "The Seer" Hargreeves aka Number 8 (OC; Faceclaim: Kaya Scodelario)

Lyrics:

You don't have to be a hero to save the world

It doesn't make you a narcissist to love yourself

It feels like nothing is easy; it'll never be

That's alright, let it out, talk to me

---

You don't have to be a prodigy to be unique

You don't have to know what to say or what to think

You don't have to be anybody you can never be

That's alright, let it out, talk to me

---

Anxiety, tossing, turning in your sleep

Even if you run away, you still see them in your dreams

It's so dark tonight, but you'll survive, certainly

It's alright, come inside, and talk to me

[stone-stars]

listening to last week’s short rest and it opening with like five minutes of football talk is for me. specifically.

[d1ana-m0nd]

╭─► ❝The Servant: Umbrella Academy's Servant❞

Five Hargreeves × Female! Reader || Written by Diana (d1ana-m0nd)

➢ Description : It's a well known fact that Sir. Reginald Hargreeves adopted 7 children to save the world from it's impending doom. Though, the number of children will change from 7 to 8 once a close friend of his, Rita Rossweisse was on her death bed and requested him to take in her child, who fortunately was born on October 1st 1989.

➢ Word Count : 9,537

➢ Links : Masterlist && Character Profile

➢ Note : I just wanted to give a heads up for people who like Luther, he's going to be a bit antagonistic towards the reader because she's an accomplice. Also, in S1 of TUA, the writers' focused on his mission driven trait which led to a snowball effect on his decisions and how he treated others (ex: Vanya), though that does not mean I will be writing him off as an antagonist throughout the whole series, just this season since he is still learning and growing. I mean no harm Luther simps / stans / fans. 🏳️

Also, it's been three years since I have done Wushu (Chinese martial arts) so the fighting scene might be crappy. It will be inaccurate as well since I never reached orange belt lol, I just watched YouTube videos of Agatha Wong and other Wushu martial artists. ;-;

Chapter 3: Extra Ordinary

Blue light streamed through the window as Allison sat on the windowsill, a cigarette in hand; she took in the scenery from the place she once considered home. The sound of car horns beeping accompanied the lively city atmosphere, whilst the lights of the streetlamps came off harshly. Oddly enough, this loud environment felt homely to her. The rumor inhaled the cigarette then exhaled it, letting the flares of the smoke blow out the window. She let herself be more immersed to the atmosphere, which led her unaware of someone else's presence in the room.

"Ah, Miss Allison." The advanced chimpanzee announced his arrival. Allison hurriedly put out the cigarette, leading it to fizzle out. She faced Pogo with a sheepish smile, as though she was not caught red-handed.

"I was looking for you." Pogo returned her smile, then took a small step towards her.

"How did you, uh… did you know I was up here?" The rumor scratched her nape. She really wasn't expecting anyone to walk in on her smoking and emoting to herself.

"Oh, it wasn't hard. This is always where you used to come when you were upset."

"Who told you I was…" The girl in curls paused, then sighed as a certain someone came to mind.

"Luther." She said fiddling with the aged locket that was given to her by the same person.

"Actually, it was Miss Vanya."

Allison was taken aback by his words. Vanya… cared about her? For a moment, she felt regret come over her because her sibling went out of her way to check on her… then she recalled the book. The rumor would have openly showed her grimace at the thought of her sister but, Pogo’s next words took her by surprise.

"She called to make sure you were okay and if it weren't for Y/N reminding me, I would have forgotten to check in on you." Pogo said with a small smile, as though he was silently thanking the girls for caring about Allison's well being.

The girl in curls stood up from the windowsill as she inhaled deeply, stuffing her hands into her pocket. "Yeah, I, um… said some pretty unkind things to her." Though it sounded like she said it out of defeat.

The well dressed chimpanzee frowned at her words, but tried to be optimistic. "She's your sister. She knows you didn't mean it."

Allison scoffed as she looked away. "Doubt it. She doesn't know anything about me, which is fine, cause I don't know shit about her either."

"Language." Pogo said which brought a small smile to the rumor's face followed by a soft chuckle. "Sorry."

"It's just…" The woman breathed through her nose. "It's been a while since we've all lived under the same roof."

"Almost 13 years." He added, which added onto the emotional baggage that Allison was carrying at the moment.

"How did you do it? Alone in this huge house for so long?"

"Well, one grows used to things, even if, sometimes… one shouldn't." The chimpanzee looked away, not wanting to give away the sadness in his eyes.

Wanting to divert the young lass’ attention to something else, Pogo decided it would be a great time to bring her over the CCTV room and to follow through with Master Hargreeves’ plan till the truth is finally revealed.

"Come with me. I want to show you something. It might just cheer you up." The advanced chimpanzee was about to head out the room but he suddenly turned to where Allison stamped out the cigarette earlier. "And make sure you fully extinguished that cigarette. Wouldn't want to start a fire."

The girl in curls chuckles to herself as she now recalled Pogo never lets his guard down, it’s almost like nothing goes under his radar, he acted more father-like than their own father. She then quickly extinguishes the fire and hurriedly catches up with Pogo. The two walked side by side towards the CCTV room, and entered the room together.

The chimpanzee approached the monitors and turned them on to show the familiar memories the academy created back in their youth. "Your father stopped recording years ago. But, I still come here from time to time. When I'm missing you kids."

"Pogo, this is…" The woman was too stunned to speak but she managed to choke out a few words. "Most families have home movies to look back on. We have surveillance footage."

"I hoped it might cheer you up."

"It does…" Allison laughed, letting her guard down and allowed her inner child to be lured in by the memories being replayed by the monitors.

Suddenly, Allison's gaze turns to a monitor of Vanya playing the violin as a smaller Y/N sat beside the violinist cheering her on, though it looked like Vanya wore a fake smile accepting every compliment you gave her.

"And Vanya…" Her smile fell. Vanya was telling the truth.

"Why didn't we include her? I mean, if anybody ever treated Claire like that, I can't even imagine…"

"You were a child, Miss Allison." Pogo pointed out but Allison rebutted. "Yeah… but I'm not anymore and neither is she."

"If you're not in a hurry. The rest of the tapes are in that cabinet." The advanced chimpanzee gestured to the nearby cabinet, while his other hand took out the keys and left it on the table. "Make sure you lock up when you go."

"Things have been disappearing lately. These are too important to lose." He added as Allison softly chuckled at his words. She has a feeling, she knows who might be responsible for it.

Whilst she was busy reminiscing, Pogo stood beside her, double checking at the breadcrumbs he left. He needed the secrets to be unraveled as soon as possible, he can only pray it wouldn’t be too late. The chimpanzee took one last look at Allison then left the room.

Once he left, the woman in curls rummaged through the tapes and found a tape that stood out. It was oddly placed, it even seemed like that it was purposely placed there. She played the footage not expecting much. To her surprise, her expectations were surpassed by the content of the footage.

Her eyes widened, then she straightened herself. "Oh, God. Dad…"

Allison paused the tape, without hesitation, she began to frantically look for Luther in the academy. She checked from door to door only to be frustrated that Luther wasn’t home. She was about to give up until she heard the front door open then ran - more like fast walking - to where the footsteps came from.

The woman in curls grabbed onto Luther’s arm. "There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you."

"What are you still doing here? I thought you were gone." He raised his brow in her presence.

"No, I was gonna go, and then Pogo showed me this -"

"Well, listen…" The larger male interrupted her with a defeated sigh. "I was wrong about Dad's death."

The woman was astonished by his words, it wasn’t like him. "What?"

"Yeah. I was wrong about Diego. You know, to accuse my own brother of that is just-"

"No, I, I know, I get it." The rumor tried to cut in but got interfered once again.

"- Seeing all of you and being back here… I should be the one who's trying to bring us back together, not tear us apart." Spaceboy said but it more or less it sounded like he was talking to himself in the mirror.

"Would you shut up?!" Allison shouted angrily.

"What?"

"You were right, about Dad." She stated, now it was the male’s turn to be confused by the sudden turn of events.

"Come on, I gotta show you something."

Even though the larger male was silent, she took his arm and guided him to the CCTV room. As they head to the CCTV room, they happen to passby Y/N and Five. Luther and Allison checked on you guys - since you guys looked kinda messed up - but Five had a sudden outburst and you had to make random excuses to bring him to his room, whilst juggling to not drop Delores. Once they were a bit far, Luther finally had the courage to speak up.

"Does Y/N having a mannequin have something to do with whatever you were going to show me?" He asked.

To which Allison threw a look at his direction. "No, and I have no idea where she got that. All I know is she's been glued to Five's side since he got back."

Once they had arrived, the rumor was quick to replay the footage. Luther couldn’t believe what he was watching. At first he was in denial but, as he replayed the clip again and again, he was able to digest the information but he still doesn’t understand… Why would their mother - er robot, rather, “Grace” kill their father? He kept replaying the scene trying to understand what occurred during the night of the murder but, got no answers in the end.

"Play it again." Number one ordered again…

Allison had to refrain herself from rolling her eyes because of how mind numbing it was to replay the same scene over and over again.

"We've watched it over and over, it's the same thing every time." She pointed out.

Luther sighs, she wasn’t wrong, they weren’t getting answers. Reluctantly, the rumor rewind the clip, the VCR whirred indicating it was being replayed.

"Er… what is she doing?" He asked, gesturing towards Grace on the monitor.

"The tea. Did she poison him?"

"Uh- I don't know." The woman in curly hair uncrossed her arms, unsure of what she was witnessing.

The larger male sighed exasperated then turned his gaze towards hers. "Where did you find this?" He gestured to the footage.

Allison stopped leaning against the cabinet then sat on the chair beside Luther's side, "I was looking at old footage of us as kids, and I just saw the footage sitting there."

"Yeah, Dad must have started using the security system again." There was a pregnant pause present in the room.

"He was getting more and more paranoid. He thought people were out to get him." He muttered, recalling the call he had with his dad a month prior.

Back then, He didn’t think much of it but it did worry him that Grace and Y/N weren’t taking care of him. However, after calling Y/N, he felt reassured by her words and assumed that their father was just becoming paranoid for nothing. Now, he regrets taking his words for granted.

"Well… I guess maybe he was right."

"But Mom?" Allison refused to accept this.

"I mean she's not capable of…" She gestured to the footage but as her eyes landed the footage she began to have second thoughts, she sighs. "Is she?"

Suddenly, a memory from the funeral played in Luther’s head.

"Then there's the issue of the missing monocle." The ape hybrid added to his conspiracy. Even though it was silent, you could hear the others internally groaning as more words came out of his mouth.

"Y/N, while you were cleaning up Dad's room, was the monocle still there?"

"Last night I wasn't assigned to give him medicine, it was Mrs. Grace's turn. So I can't be too sure if he wore the monocle. Though the crime scene cleaners and investigators did let me know that they made sure to keep everything in the same spot." You reported, as your thinking pose shifted into your default one.

"Make sure to check the cameras around the time they were cleaning." He commanded, you bowed in return to confirm you will do as he says.

Spaceboy’s eyes widened at the revelation… What if…

"Where was Y/N last night? Why didn't she inform me about the footage?" He bombarded.

"I already told you! Ever since Five came back she's been stuck to his side." The rumor answered not catching onto Luther’s wavelength.

"But, it doesn't make sense, she had the time to check the footage whilst they were preparing the funeral, and didn’t Pogo and her switch shifts in monitoring the CCTVs?”

Suddenly, Allison went silent, as she began to piece the puzzles and see where Luther was coming from, now that he pointed that out, Y/N could be a possible suspect and lately, she has been avoiding the academy for days, ever since Five came back, she could be using him as her alibi. Which makes her even more suspicious but she highly doubts she has something to do with it murdering their father.

After all, it is a well known fact that the servant has always been neutral, that’s why she is given a number that is neither a prime nor an odd number. It would be rare of her to step out of line. Plus, she only does what needs to be done, she wouldn’t do anything if it wasn’t under someone’s orders.

ㅤㅤㅤ❲ T H E ☕ S E R V A N T ❳

It was silent as the duo- trio rather, headed to Five’s room. Five’s head was flooded with ways on how he should retrieve the information to stop the apocalypse with Delores’ assistance. While Y/N’s head was filled with questions for Five, you wanted to ask him questions about the masked people and the people who tried to shoot them down at the doughnut shop but it didn’t feel like the right time to do so.

If only Five was open with you as he was to Vanya then you wouldn’t be reluctant to ask him questions… The only good thing that came out of this was that he trusted you enough to keep you around which made it easier to monitor him.

Once the three entered his room, you placed Delores on a nearby chair as Five stumbled his way to the bed. He fell face first onto the pillow; It sounded like a fart but you had to keep your lips pressed into a thin line or he’d bark at you. To distract yourself from laughing, you glanced at the mannequin, expecting it to do something. Alas, it did nothing but look into where it was painted to look at.

"It might be of use later…” You told yourself but you highly doubted it would be more useful than you.

The servant sighed then turned her gaze towards the boy. “Master Five, let me patch you up.”

“No, I can deal with this myself, I’ll just sleep it off.” He shrugged you off.

Unfortunately for him, you were determined, the look on your face supported that notion. “I’m afraid I won’t allow that. Your wound might get infected if you neglect it. Plus, seeing as you are hell bent on avoiding others, I am the only one who you can order around who wouldn’t try to look over your shoulder.”

Five’s thin lips were ready to bare the teeth that were hidden underneath his lips but his mind intervened before he could do so. You had a point, even though you were unexpectedly dragged into this, you could be of use to him -

"Hey, you know, I've just now realized why you're so uptight. You must be horny as hell!" He laughed then added, "All those years by yourself. It's gonna screw with your head being alone."

"If you want to let the stress out, why not ask Y/N for help?"

"Y/N seems like she'd be good in bed, if you're the type to have a corruption kink and all. I wouldn't be surprised if you have one because you seem the type-" Klaus snapped his finger, "And, andd~! She wouldn't get arrested for dating you."

Warmth creeped onto Five’s cheeks as he recalled Klaus’ words from earlier. He was lucky that his face fell first, you wouldn’t be able to see how much you - correction, how much Klaus’ words affected him. In case his ears were reddening as well, he decided to bury his face further into the pillow to hide it but it was a poor attempt on his part.

“Do whatever you want.” His words were muffled by the pillow.

“What?” You asked, unable to hear his words.

The brown haired boy sat up and glared at your direction, which made you regret your words. “Do whatever you want but don't even think of watching me sleep.”

You nodded then, left his room to go get the first aid kit from the infirmary. Which made the boy sigh in relief then returned to lying on the bed but, this time he made sure to avoid lying on his injured side. As he stared into space, he began to silently plan out how he would get more information only to be disturbed by his beloved, Delores.

“Others would take a rest the moment their body hits the mattress yet, here you are letting your thoughts consume you rather than exhaustion.” Delores mused as she laughed at Five's situation.

“I assumed you would be grateful that I took the time to take you out for a stroll. That was no easy task.” The boy retorted, he knew she was going to piss him off for fun, she’s always been like that since they got together.

“Yeah I am grateful but, I would rather get to know my in-laws than be stuck in this room all day.” The mannequin teased with a knowing smirk, she knew Five was easy to play with when he's needy for someone's attention.

“Getting tired of me already? I thought you loved me.” The brown haired boy joked with a grin on his face. It was a rare sight that only Delores got to witness more often than the others.

“I do love you but, I recall you numerous times telling me off that I shouldn’t disturb you when you’re at ‘work’.” She rebutted which made her beloved chuckle in response.

“Smartass.”

“Master Five is everything alright?” You tilted your head, confused by what you had just walked in. The brunette was talking to someone just earlier…

“Oh! Is she the one you mentioned that’s always stuck by Vanya’s side?” Delores was ecstatic to finally meet one of the people Five grew up with. Even though he wasn't fond of you, Delores grew to love you whenever you were brought up with Vanya. She thought you both had a cute dynamic.

The physically young man wordlessly nodded to Delores, which you mistook as him saying that everything was alright. Assuming that everything was alright, you were quick to settle down by his bed and prepared what you needed: bandages, a surgical needle, a synthetic suture, a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, a clean washcloth along with a small bowl of lukewarm water. Once prepared, you took care of his injured side. The room was silent as the boy let out small huffs and your breathing were the only thing audible but, Five was hearing other things besides your breathing.

"Sweetheart, why don't you introduce me to her? I'd love to get to know her. She seems like a nice girl." The mannequin requested.

The brunette could not tell if she was trying to press his buttons or not. They both knew perfectly well that Delores trying to interact with others would just cause confusion but, his beloved is quite a chatterbox. Five might as well play along, or she would make his ears bleed from constant pleading. The thought of doing so made him roll his eyes, which you caught.

Thinking you did something wrong, you raised a question. "Did I do something wrong, Master Five?"

"Nothing, Delores wants to get to know you." He reassured, as an imaginary grin on Delores’ face grew. If you were not so observant, he would have thrown a quick glare in the mannequin’s direction for her cheekiness.

The mannequin bursted out laughing which made the brown-haired male flustered. "AHAHAHA! We've been together for 31 years and I never knew you had this kink."

"Oh right!" The servant was weirded out by this. You knew that you had to play along if you didn’t want to be torn apart. "I didn't introduce myself. Hi Ms. Delores, I'm Y/N, also referred to as Number Zero."

"I won't lie, she is very adorable. I can see why you'd want to keep her around." Dolores added, a finger ghosting on her cheek that complimented that cheeky grin of hers.

"I'm not keeping her." He hissed at Dolores.

You didn't know what he meant by that so you ignored it, and decided to ask another question. "So uh, what did Ms. Delores say?"

"She said that you seem like someone she'd hang around." The boy lied through his teeth but the blush across his face said otherwise.

"That is a complete 180 from what I said Five~" The mannequin sang then giggled.

For a moment, the room went silent, you were busy with Five's wounds whilst the boy was busy keeping his eyes on the mannequin. Dolores watched from her chair, as though taunting the brunette. The silence was comfortable at first but then it began to grow awkward because it felt like you had to do something to fill in the silence.

Out of nowhere, you blurted out a stupid question. "So, Ms. Dolores, do you like cooking?"

The moment you were able to process what you just blurted out, you wanted to smash yourself into a bloody wall. How could you be so stupid? Who in their right mind would ask if a mannequin - a flammable object, mind you - if it loved to cook. Even if it did, how was it supposed to cook? It would make sense if you were asking a robot or an advanced mammal - actually, anything that is capable of mimicking human behavior - but, of all things you just had to ask, you asked a flammable object if it liked to cook!? You were on the verge of running away at this point and let Five deal with his injury.

"Is she serious?" Dolores asked, surprised by what she heard as well.

Five didn't know what to say to his beloved. Trying to look for confirmation of your sincerity, he turned to you and saw that you were covering your face out of embarrassment. It was kinda cute. Watching the usually blank-faced girl wear a different expression… it made you more human rather than a puppet that the other's usually claimed you to be.

To the other numbers (Five was no exception), the servant seemed inhumane, too perfect to be human, you were practically a doll. If we are talking about what kind of doll would describe you, then "barbie" would be a suitable description. A doll that every girl dreamed to be, a doll that was suitable for every job it came across.

However their assumption of you changed when they noticed the cracks you were trying to hide from them, like how you stiffened and forced yourself to smile despite the insults being hurled at you, how you did want to go against their father but decided against it because of hesitance, and how you try your best to not cry or scream whenever their father needed your blood or for experimentation.

You were just as messed up as them…

From that point on, they recognized that it didn't feel right to label you as a doll. Though it didn't diminish the fact that you acted like a puppet, how you wouldn't act unless someone pulled the strings, how you mimicked others to look natural, and how you spoke like it came out from a script instead of saying what you actually think or feel.

Though, Five supposes this is the reason why you were given the "Number 0", it is neither even or odd. A number that represents balance, you stood on neither side, you were just someone who’s responsible for neutralizing issues before things could escalate. Strangely enough, despite you trying to act normal, you were the one that stood out among the dysfunctional family, because of how mentally unaffected you were by the household. Even Vanya had difficulty expressing her anger for you in her memoir.

Whilst the two numbers were busy with their own thoughts, someone was watching the scenery before her, amused by the silence that settled within the room.

The mannequin internally laughed at what she was witnessing. She found it rather ironic that despite Five being blunt about his distaste for you, you kept chasing him and made sure if he was alright. It was even more hilarious that he was beginning to open up to you but his hostility is still present. He hated you, you disliked him yet, you both cared for each other in your own way.

Even though she didn't have a heart, she felt envious of you. To be able to hold Five, to be able to run after him, to be able to stop him from overworking. You had everything Dolores wanted. But, alas, those are merely musings of a soulless husk.

Although this was an unspoken truth, Five knew his beloved "Dolores" wasn't real, she was merely something that manifested out of thin air because he wanted to keep himself sane during the apocalypse. She even recalled that time when some people from the commission found out about Dolores' existence, and they judged Five's mental state for it, even though Five acted like it was nothing, She was worried for him. They both knew it was the truth but he refused to acknowledge the reality of her existence.

Putting aside her jealousy, the mannequin was glad that despite all the weirdness Five carried, he found someone who did try to understand him. The thought of your open-mindedness and kindness warmed Dolores' non-existent heart.

"Thanks." Five broke the silence, his gaze elsewhere.

"Huh?" You tilted your head, not expecting his words.

"I know you heard me, don't make me say it twice or I'll give you a reason to be deaf." The brunette threatened, usually his threats would make you flinch but, this time it made you smile, not a forced one.

Your genuine smile went unnoticed but the tone of your voice didn't fail to express your sincerity. "You're welcome, Five."

The boy froze up as he realized you were calling him by his name again. He didn't know whether to call you out on it or just let it go… In the end, he failed to notice you had already left his side.

"I didn't think you'd warm up to her considering you told me how much you disliked her." The mannequin teased a knowing look on her face.

The brunette merely rolled his eyes at her then laid down on the bed, avoiding to ruin the stitches you made. "She's one of the tolerable ones, I have no choice."

Dolores smiled to herself knowing that was a lie.

ㅤㅤㅤ❲ T H E ☕ S E R V A N T ❳

The next day, both the boy and the girl exited the house through the fire exit, with Dolores carefully placed into the duffle bag along with alcohol. The seance noticed you guys sneaking out and tried to join in but Five declined his offer. As Klaus was busy whining about how much he loved his 'little brother', you managed to hijack a nearby van and let Five drive to his desired location while you sat at the back with Dolores.

The brunette parked the van in front of the prosthetics building, watching people come and go while he fiddled with the glass eyeball in his hand. He mindlessly watched as a woman walked past the stolen van whilst a group of children played ball.

Seeing normalcy made Five sigh, he was envious of those people. People who lived a normal life had it better than him. He could not stop the feeling of envy creeping up on him. After all, they didn't have to worry about putting their lives on the line for others. Unlike them, the boy grew up in a dysfunctional household and got thrusted into the apocalypse at a young age. He was forced to grow up early and prioritize his life over others, which went against the old man's teachings.

As Five was busy with his own demons, he didn't notice you had let in uninvited guests.

You were bored out of your mind, and began to look out the window in hopes of finding something interesting, until you saw a familiar lanky figure heading towards the van. It was Klaus heading towards the van with Luther in tow, you opened the back door and waved at them to come in.

The lanky man skipped his way to the backdoor and began conversing with Dolores. As you tried your best to stop him from harassing it - because you had a feeling Five would rip him to pieces.

"I didn't think I would find a beauty like you in here." The seance whispered into Dolores' ear.

"Master Klaus you shouldn't-"

"Shh shh, let her speak." He said as he caressed the mannequin's cheek, even though it didn't say a word, Klaus giggled and started cradling Dolores in his arms.

"Does everyone in the Hargreeves family like talking to non-living things or something?" You questioned yourself as you bit the inside of your cheek.

At the front of the truck, it seemed like Luther was planning to sit in the passenger seat but it was locked. You unlocked the door for him since Five was unresponsive. You silently watched as the larger male struggled to enter the van due to his frame.

Suddenly, the brunette in the driver's seat screamed.

“No!” Five's scream caught you and Spaceboy's attention, you hurriedly went to his side and rubbed the small of his back.

“Five.” You murmured not wanting to overwhelm him with loud sounds.

“Five!” Luther called out, the volume of his voice made you flinch and cover the ear he screamed at.

“Hey Five!” The male shouted once again yet, it wasn't effective.

“NO!” The younger male screamed as he grabbed onto his hair whilst his eyes widened in fear, his breathing becoming ragged.

“Five!” You shook Five awake as the larger male shouted his brother's name like a mantra, trying to bring back the boy into reality.

When the brunette finally calmed down, you continued rubbing his back, concern etched into your features. “Are you alright, Master Five?”

He disregarded your words as he began to process the uninvited guest that sat on the passenger seat, "You shouldn’t be… How did you find me?”

“Um…” Space boy gestured to Klaus, who sat at the back of the van, cradling Five's beloved in his arms.

The seance murmured, “Hey baby…”

Once the lanky man noticed everyone's eyes were on him, he shooed away their lingering gazes. “Hey, a little privacy, guys. We’re really hitting it off back here.”

Out of irritation, the boy throws the nearest object at Klaus. The lanky man screamed and used the mannequin as a shield, in an attempt to protect himself. Luckily, you caught the object before Klaus got injured and threw Five a side eye, which made him roll his eyes.

“Get out! You can’t be here! I’m in the middle of something." The physically younger male hissed at his barely sober brother.

The seance dismissed his threat and approached his brothers who sat at the front of the van. “Any luck finding out your one-eyed man?”

“No.” Five whispered, internally groaning at the fact he even trusted his idiot of a brother with the secret of the apocalypse.

“What’s he talking about?” Luther brought up with a raised brow.

“Does it matter? It’s Klaus.” The boy quickly shot down.

At first, Klaus looked hurt but, he redirected his gaze to the larger male as though silently asking Luther to defend him but, nothing came out of Spaceboy's mouth. Defeated, the seance breathed through his nose and acted as though he wasn't hurt. Out of pity, you rubbed his back.

The small brunette sighed, “What do you want, Luther?”

“So…” Dirty blond male cautiously glanced at you, “So, Grace may have something to do with Dad’s death.” He paused and glanced at you again trying to read if you have a reaction. “I need you to come back to the academy, all right? It’s important.”

"Is something on my face?" You asked yourself as you started to feel your face if there was a bloodstain you forgot to wipe away from Five's wounds.

“It’s important.” Five mocked his brother’s words then scoffed. “You have no concept of what’s important.”

“Hey!” Klaus interrupted, “Did I ever tell you guys about the time I waxed my ass with chocolate pudding?”

The lanky man laughed his stomach out, sadly, the others weren't laughing along with him. “It was so painful!”

Luther and Five grimaced at their brother's words, while you looked at the seance as though he had committed a sin. Despite everyone's obvious disgust, someone else - besides Klaus - managed to laugh because of his shenanigans, it was Five. You witnessed the boy turn his head then hid his giggle underneath his breath. It was oddly adorable.

“What are you still doing here?” The larger man scrunched up his brows, his gaze on Klaus.

“I- What? I need an excuse to hang out with my family?” Klaus placed a hand on his chest, offended by the other male's choice of words.

“We’re trying to have a serious conversation here.”

“What, and I’m incapable of being serious? Is that what you’re saying?”

At this point, you couldn't help but frown and feel bad for Klaus. No one in the family took him seriously just like how they treated Vanya. He acts as though he isn't bothered but, you know it hurts him, just as much as how the others treated Vanya differently.

“Luther’s got a point, you should get out.” Five added.

“What?!"

Reluctantly, the lanky man crawls out of the van murmuring how it was unfair. Once he got out of the van, he screamed “FINE!” then slammed the door closed.

"I- I should go after Master Klaus…" You said quietly then followed Klaus to the convenience store. You had a feeling he'd cause trouble and it would be best someone would be there to prevent it.

Once you and Klaus left, the atmosphere in the van became tense. The unspoken rivalry, rather, the one sided rivalry between Luther and Five was becoming more evident to the naked eye. Since you left, Luther felt like he could finally bring up his suspicion of you to Five.

“What the hell are you up to?” Luther questioned whilst he observed the seance and the servant head to the convenience store together.

“You wouldn’t understand.” The younger male stated, his eyes narrowing at the prosthetics building across them.

“Try me. Last I checked, I’m still the leader of this family.”

“Well, last I checked. I’m 18 years older than you.”

The larger man inhaled deeply then turned to his 'younger' brother. “You know what your problem is?”

“Really hoping you’ll tell me.” Five sarcastically remarked, his hazel eyes never leaving the building across the van.

“You think you’re better than us. You always have. Even when we were kids. But the truth is, you’re just as messed up as the rest of us. We’re all you have and you know it.”

The brunette lets out a dejected sigh. “I don’t think I’m better than you, Number One. I know I am.”

Spaceboy chuckled at his words, Five just proved his point.

“I’ve done unimaginable things, things you couldn’t even comprehend.” the boy pointed out as his grip on the steering wheel tightened but it came off as an exaggeration to Luther, “Right…”

“Just to get back here and save you all.” Five added.

Unexpectedly, the convenience store from across the street was experiencing a commotion, catching the passersby's attention along with Five and Luther's. Out came Klaus carrying a huge amount of food in his arms followed by the security guard screaming for him to halt.

“Whoa!” The seance runs with the food he shoplifted as the security ran after him.

One of the security guards screamed with a baton in hand. “Stop!”

“Hey! Stop right now!”

The lanky man waves at the van, some of the food he stole fell behind. Due to his carelessness, he almost gets run over by a taxi, luckily it stopped halfway, though he managed to narrowly dodge the vehicle.

As for you, you were held back at the convenience store as you paid for the food your master shoplifted. You internally grumbled about regretting ever feeling pity for him and how you should have known he would have pulled a stunt like this.

After that whole fiasco, Luther was about to leave the van until he remembered something he had been planning to tell Five once you weren't around.

"Since you don't plan on showing up to the family meeting, I'll give you a heads up, Y/N might have something to do with dad's death." Luther said, his back against the boy.

Five's eyes widened and his grip on the steering wheel tightened as the puzzles in his head began to fall into pieces. "You have nothing to worry about. I've dealt with people like her."

ㅤㅤㅤ❲ T H E ☕ S E R V A N T ❳

Luther and Allison gathered every family member in the living room, except Five since he was being stubborn. The monitor that he and Allison were playing with last night, currently sat on the bar, the video tape already in it. All he needed to do was play the footage…

The large male took in a deep breath then played it. The monitor replayed the night of the murder, Grace was taking care of the Monocle's needs, suddenly he started twitching and fell on his back, amidst him experiencing a heart attack, Ms. Grace did nothing but look down at him instead of doing what she was programmed to do.

The whole room went silent, Luther observed the other's reactions and noticed that only Vanya and Klaus were mortified. Number one expected that he and Allison were the only ones who wouldn't be surprised but you and Diego didn't seem surprised by the footage. Diego seemed a little too satisfied whilst you looked away from the monitor.

The dirty blond male narrowed his brows, "Suspicious."

“I mean, do you really think that mom would hurt Dad?”, Vanya broke the silence.

“You haven’t been home in a long time, Vanya. Maybe you don’t know Grace anymore.”

“If he was poisoned, it would have shown up in the coroner’s report.” Diego remarked with a matter of factly tone.

“Well, I don’t need a report to tell me what I can see with my own eyes.”

“Maybe all that low gravity in space messed with your head.” The lad in black leather approached the monitor and replayed the footage. “Dad has his monocle. Grace stands up. Monocle’s gone.”

Klaus laughed, “Oh, yeah!”

The Latino turns his back, “She wasn’t poisoning him. She was… taking the monocle, to clean it.”

“Then where is it?”

Everyone went silent not having an answer to that question. You, even as an accomplice, didn't even know where it was. You were pretty sure disposing of the monocle was not part of the plan…

“No, I’ve searched the whole house, including her things. She doesn’t have it.”

The kraken looked down as he took out his knife and fidgeted with it, till his eyes met Luther's. “That’s because I took it from her. After the funeral.”

“You’ve had the monocle this whole time? What the hell, Diego!” Allison exclaimed.

“Give it to me.” Luther commanded, taking a few strides towards Diego, his hand out awaiting for the monocle to be returned.

“I threw it away.”

The rumor scoffed at her brother's admission.

“You what? ” Number one’s voice boomed.

“Look, I knew that if you found it on Mom, you’d lose your shit. Just like you are doing right now.” The latino menacingly pointed at Spaceboy's direction with the pointed edge of his dagger.

“Diego, you son of a bitch.” Luther walks over to Number two but Vanya interrupts him before another fight starts, you mirror her actions as well and walk in front of Diego to prevent him from doing anything reckless.

“Hey. no. calm down.” Vanya said, “Look, I know dad wasn’t exactly an open book. But, I do remember one thing. He said Mom was, well, designed to be a caretaker but also as a protector.”

“Well, if her hardware is degrading, then… We need to turn her off.”

"Oh no." You thought. This was definitely not part of Mr. Hargreeves' plan.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. She’s not just a vacuum you can throw into a closet. She feels things, I’ve seen it.” The kraken angrily said as his glare hardened, along with the finger pointing becoming more abundant.

“She stood there, and watched our father die.” The dirty blond male pointed out as he gestured to the footage.

“I’m with Luther.”

“Surprise, surprise.” Diego sarcastically retorted.

“Shut up.” The rumor barked back.

Suddenly, the whole room looked at Vanya, expecting an answer out of her. “I- I don't-”

"Yeah, she shouldn't get a vote." Diego interrupted her before she could decide but Vanya snapped back at him. "I was gonna say that I agree with you."

"Okay. She should get a vote."

The Latino turned to Klaus, "What about you, stoner boy? What are you thinking?"

"Oh, so, what? Do you need my help now? Oh 'Get out of the van, Klaus!', 'Well, welcome back to the van.' -

"What van?" The woman in curls interjected, not following through with this whole van thing. Fortunately for her, she wasn't alone as Vanya didn't know what the van metaphor was for.

The large male released a sigh and changed the topic, "What's it gonna be Klaus?"

“I’m with Diego because screw you Luther! And if Ben were here, he'd agree with me." The lanky man replied while looking Luther in the eye, as though to intimidate him.

"So, that's three to two."

"Vote's not final yet." The actress stated which caused the whole room to raise eyebrows.

"What?"

"Five's not here." She pointed out. You could hear everyone - except Luther who was silently thanking her - internally groan at her words. At this point, she was just stalling!

The lad in black leather scoffed and then argued, "You really think Five would show up to something as stupid as this?"

"Why don't we just let Y/N vote for him?" Klaus suggested as he pushed you forward like a sacrificial lamb.

"Master Klaus, I'm afraid I can't do that-"

"She doesn't have a say in this." You stiffened at Luther's words, "I don't like the sound of that."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? That she is not one of us? She is treated like an experiment and got traumatized because of that bastard! How is she any different from us?" Diego fought back on your steed, while you looked at him like he had grown another head.

"Because we-"

"Just you, Luther." Allison corrected, looking away from the scene before her.

"I think she might be an accomplice in Dad's death." The larger male finished her sentence which made the living room feel unwelcoming as dead silence followed.

The Latino scoffed then taunted the big man, "I'm surprised your mouth hasn't retired from carrying all that shit your ass couldn't handle."

"And here we go again." The rumor muttered under her breath.

Luther ignored his brother's taunts and began providing arguments, "During dad's funeral, Y/N was supposed to check on the footage and report to me if there was anything suspicious but she didn't inform me."

"That's because I was with Five, I'm supposed to be watching over him in case the effects of time traveling were kicking in." You hurriedly replied which unknowingly raised suspicion in Luther's eyes.

"Didn't you and Pogo switch shifts whilst monitoring the CCTVs?"

"Yes but, I didn't have time to check on the tapes-"

"You didn't have time yet the tape was conveniently placed on top of the cabinet." The dirty blond male pointed out, your eyes widened in fear because you didn't know how to defend yourself… You felt helpless.

You were well aware that you were not the one who placed the tape there, so it could have been Pogo. As much as you would love to defend yourself, you couldn't exactly speak out either since this would ruin the plan but you were itching to stand up for yourself. In the end, you sucked it up and didn't say a word.

"You even told me that I should 'broaden your scope, especially your list of suspects'. " Luther's eyes felt like lasers being burned through your skull.

You gulped, looking down at your feet as your tears were ready to cascade down your cheeks. You even regretted leaving those clues for him because you didn't think you would be put into this position, "I- I was… I was trying to cheer you up…"

"Is that the only excuse you can come up with?" Luther scoffed, he almost sounded like his father… It scares you.

"Vanya, please keep an eye on Y/N for now." The larger male ordered the petite woman.

Desperately, you walked up to him, "I know it looks bad but, Can I at least attempt to get Five back? His decision might help finalize what to do with Ms. Grace."

"His decision won't save you."

At this point, you were trembling. The ringing in your ears became louder, your mind zoning out until you felt a hand on your shoulder, you turned to see it was Klaus wearing a reassuring smile though it didn't do much.

"That's enough Luther, you're scaring her." Allison finally stepped in.

The violinist approached your side cautiously then gently whispered, "Y/N, I believe it's best you listen to Luther for now."

"For now, let's wait for Five to return. The whole family has to vote. We owe each other that." The rumor ended the discussion and everyone began to part their ways.

Once Vanya finished conversing with Diego about Ms. Grace, she - gently - took you by your wrist and headed to your room. You were so busy in your head that you didn't realize that Vanya was the one taking you to your room.

The violinist wore a concerned look on her face, "Hey, Y/N, you alright? You seem so out of it? It's very unusual for you… I'm assuming you are bothered by what Luther said? You looked like you were about to cry earlier."

"I'm not bothered, just worried about Five. I was supposed to be by his side but I ended up getting house arrest instead." You answered jokingly but you could not bring yourself to fake a smile.

Vanya laughed, not noticing that your energy didn't match your tone. "If it helps, I don't think you would kill dad."

"You wouldn't know that…" You wanted to say that but kept it to yourself.

"So don't beat yourself up over this, if you're innocent you have nothing to lose."

You briefly replied with a fake smile, "Yeah. Thanks."

The petite brunette noticed the brief reply but shrugged it off then changed topics. "So, I've heard from the others that you and Five have been hanging out, is that true?"

You nodded.

"I didn't think he'd open up to you… with how he openly hates you and all- Not saying that it's a bad thing that you guys are getting along now! It's just… unexpected is all."

You relaxed for a bit and chuckled. You knew for a fact neither of you guys were getting along. At most, you guys were just tolerating each other because you all saw how you guys benefited from each other.

"That's one way of putting it." You murmured.

You and Vanya arrived in your room and sat on your bed. In sync, you guys laid down on your backs and stared at the ceiling above you guys.

"So how's Five doing?" The brunette questioned, probably worried about his mental state considering what happened the day before… or was it earlier?

"Well, from what I can tell, he's getting used to people…" you answered, trying to evade the topic of the apocalypse when answering her question.

Vanya exhaled through her nostrils, "I really should have insisted for him to get help."

"I understand your concern Miss Vanya but, you can't help someone who doesn't recognize they need help. You would only be wasting your energy."

"I'm sorry," She murmured, a habit of hers that she never got over.

You smiled then added, "You have nothing to be sorry about, you're just doing what you think is right."

"Y/N can I ask you something?"

You nodded giving her the go signal.

"Why would you try to comfort Luther by advising him to look into other people as well?"

You froze up. You couldn't lie to Vanya, something was telling you that you couldn't go against someone's orders. "I can't-"

Unexpectedly, a myriad of gunshots were coming from the hallway.

"Hide!" You shouted, before Vanya could protest, you urgently hid her in your closet as you hid under the bed.

Once the sound of gunshots and blades clanking simmered down, you got out of your hiding spot and readied your retractable bo staff. Vanya got out of the closet as well once she heard you got out of your hiding spot.

"Miss Vanya, I will be heading out to assist the others," You grabbed a ballistic shield you have been hiding behind the closet, "I'll be giving you this ballistic shield for your protection. Please don't make any sound."

"Wait, Y/N you shouldn't-" Number seven grabbed your wrist in an attempt to stop you but the determined look on your face made her grip loosen.

"I have to Miss Vanya, I'm sorry. It's my responsibility to protect you- I mean, protect the academy. I can't just stand by and watch them throw away their lives like that."

Vanya was left speechless with your words. You did not outright say anything about her being ordinary or not having powers but, it felt like the term "responsibility" became synonymous with the word “power”. It made her think that she didn't have the power to protect others nor herself, that's why other people had to get themselves hurt to protect her.

"Remember, do not open the door for anyone even if you know it's someone you think you can trust; We don't know what the intruder is capable of, so trust no one. I will let you know if the coast is clear so keep a lookout for my messages." You told her then left your room, unknowingly leaving Vanya to her thoughts.

You cautiously surveyed the hallway, you held the bo staff's body with high alert including your other senses actively looking for the intruders that entered the academy. When you reached the stairs, you witnessed Diego and Allison simultaneously attacking a familiar pink masked person. You were about to jump into the action until you heard Vanya's voice from the living room.

ㅤㅤㅤ❲ T H E ☕ S E R V A N T ❳

"Hello?" Vanya went down the stairs, worry in her voice and facial features.

"Guys? Is everyone okay?"

"Hello? Guys?" She entered the living room unaware of the danger emanating from the lounge.

Once the violinist entered the room she tried to look for any signs of life but only saw the result of the fight, which was gun residue and bullet casings littering the area. As she was about to leave and investigate the other rooms, she heard chains rattling behind her.

The petite woman turned and was met with the intruder who wore a blue cartoony mask, who was wielding a morning star. He swung it towards Vanya but she ducked just in time. As he was about to hit her with his arm, a two-pronged spear stopped him midway, which created a distance between Vanya and the intruder.

The spear was a surprise to everyone in the living room except you, they turned their gaze and met your hues. Once the masked man's attention was set on you, Vanya quickly hid not wanting to be a liability.

"If you're looking for someone to fight, at least pick someone who can fight." You taunted the larger man.

With ease, you jumped from the second floor then dash towards the masked man, using the momentum you've picked up, you raised your foot and pushed kick his torso away. The impact made him stumble backwards and pause as he tried to gather his footing.

The spear that you threw at him earlier is now in your hands, you pressed the button that would retract the prongs and swung it towards the mask - his head was your main target - which made him stagger back again.

"This brat is too quick, I should've left her with Cha cha." Hazel grumbled to himself.

Despite the obvious large distance, you cautiously took a few steps backwards and used the staff as a boundary. An open hand supporting the head of the bo staff whilst a closed fist on the butt of the staff holding onto it with a strong grip.

Seeing as the double attack to his head was making him fall behind, you quickly withdrew from your defensive stance then, taunted the masked man by spinning your bo staff. Once he regained his footing, he swung the ball of spikes onto the body of the staff, so it would fall apart.

However, you decided to take a gamble and retract it. You dashed forward to tackle him but, due to the frame and weight differences, your attack didn't affect him. Unknown to him, this was all part of your plan, this was the distance you needed for your next move. You made the staff face upwards then unretracted it which propelled his chin thus leading him to fall backwards.

By now he was outside the living room, you were out of breath and so the masked man. Your main objective was achieved, Vanya wasn't within his reach but, you were not sure if you could hold him off any longer.

"Hey, asshole." Luther greeted. Despite what he did to you earlier, you were thankful for his presence.

"Y/N go look for Pogo and Grace!"

You nodded and headed off to where you usually see Pogo and Grace. Once you have met up with the advanced chimpanzee you guided him to the basement and reassured him that everything was under control. You were planning to go out and look for Grace this time but, curiosity got the better of you.

"Did you hire those people?" You questioned as your grip on the retractable bo staff tightening.

"Master Hargreeves never hired an outside party to get involved… It must be someone who knows what he is planning, or people after his fortune." He replied but you were not satisfied with his answer, it was evident on your face.

You scoffed then exclaimed, "What the hell is he planning?! Vanya almost got killed out there!"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you. Master Hargreeves made me swear to not speak of it, unless the truth is finally revealed to the whole academy."

You were livid but walked away from him with a huff, to go look for Ms. Grace. At this point, you have given up on trying to find out the truth. Even though you were one of the Monocle's loyal servants, he treated you like the other numbers and kept you in the dark despite his hesitancy to trust you, he gave you little to no information, so you would be left to figure it out yourself.

Once you received Vanya's text, you went out of the basement and surveyed the house if there were lingering intruders. Suddenly, you ran to where you heard the crash come from and saw a fallen chandelier along with the other numbers who looked like they were still processing what they witnessed.

"What happened?" You broke the silence, it seemed like they were hesitant to answer but Allison managed to speak. "A chandelier fell on Luther, please check on him."

You bowed to the rumor, as you were ready to leave Vanya, Allison and Diego to their own devices.

Suddenly, the violinist's question made you freeze, "Who were those people?"

You were well aware that the question was not directed towards you but, the instinct - a rumor - told you to answer her but, then you saw Diego narrowing his eyes at you, as though silently questioning why you haven't left. You tightened your lips into a line then silently went to the clinic to prep for Luther's wounds.

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[xreader-writing]

The best (not) couple | Justin H. Min

Sumarry – Justin and Y/n make a video answering fan questions.

Pairing – Justin H. Min x Actress!Reader | Word Count —1.136

A/N – We have almost nothing of Justin so I decided to do it lol ♡ English is not my first language, so I’m sorry for any mistakes.

"Hello, my name is Justin H. Min." Y/n says laughing and looks at Justin who rolls his eyes trying to hide his smile.

"How old are you? twelve?" He says laughing and the two laugh more.

"I'm Y/n" Y/n says smiling at the camera, and Justin looks at her in awe.

"And I'm Justin, and today we're going to answer some of his questions." He says and the two clap.

A production person came and delivered a box to Y/n.

"So, here inside this box are some questions that the production has selected for us, are you excited?" Y/n asks turning to Justin.

"I think I'm scared, but yes I'm excited." He responds and the two laugh.

"Alright let's go, I go first." Y/n says putting his hand on the box and taking one of the papers with a question.

"What was the fastest friendship that happened on set?" Y/n reads and looks at Justin.

"I think both of us, huh?" Justin say and Y/n agree.

"Yes, our friendship was very fast." Y/n responds and the two give a high five in the air.

"My turn." Justin says taking the box from Y/n's hand.

"Do actors often hang out together?" Justin reads and looks at Y/n.

"Yes definitely!" Y/n says raising her arms.

"Yes, we always hang out together, especially me, her and Robert." Justin says and Y/n nods.

"Let's go to the next one." Y/n says putting his hand inside the box that is on Justin's lap.

Justin looks at Y/n raising his eyebrows and they both laugh.

"That was weird." Justin says still laughing and looking at the people behind the camera who are laughing too.

"Your mind is very dirty Justin!" Y/n says pushing Justin as he keeps laughing.

"Admit it, you thought bullshit too."

"Okay, 'Which TUA actor would you be saddest to leave?' Y/n reads and Justin shifts in his chair.

"Okay, let's count to three and say a name right?" Justin says and Y/n agrees.

"one two Three."

"Y/n" Justin.

"Aidan." Y/n

Justin opens his mouth in shock and looks at Y/n in disappointment.

"I can't believe this." Justin says shaking his head looking down.

"I'm sorry! I was just kidding." Y/n says laughing and taking Justin's hand.

"Now you've already broken my heart." Justin says pretending to wipe away tears.

"Stop Justin! you know I love you!" Y/n says shaking Justin's arm, who can't hold back his smile at those words.

"Alright, I forgive you Y/n, by the way, isn't that wrong? aren't you like twenty years older than him?." Justin says teasing Y/n who rolls his eyes.

"Now you're overreacting, and I love him like a little brother." Y/n says smiling and making a heart for the camera.

"Why do you insist on making all the teenagers in love with you?" Justin asks and Y/n looks at him doubtfully.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Y/n says laughing.

"Next question... 'Do you prefer Sparrow's Ben or Umbrellas Ben?' Justin asks smiling.

"I loved them both so..." Y/n says and Justin listens intently.

"Don't you have a favorite? come on, everyone has a favorite!" Justin says and Y/n shakes his head.

"No, I can say I love all versions of Ben, up until this one." Y/n says and points to Justin who laughs at the teasing.

"Did you guys see what I have to go through?" Justin says talking to the camera.

"You love it Justin!"

"You're right, I love it." Justin thinks as he looks at Y/n smile.

"Next question, babys... 'If you could be one of the Hargreeves, which one would you be?"

"Justin would probably be Five, he's so grumpy." Y/n says laughing and Justin pushes her lightly.

Y/n looks smiling at Justin ready to tease him again.

"But she's probably right, and I'd love to have his powers too." Justin says smiling.

"I think I'd like to be Viktor." Y/n says smiling.

"With that temper? The apocalypse would happen a lot more than twice." Justin says teasing Y/n who laughs along with him.

"Now you're just being mean to me, have you guys seen what I have to put up with?" Y/n says repeating Justin's words.

"I'm kidding you, now on to the last question... 'What's the worst part about recording The Umbrella Academy?' Justin reads.

"When it ends." Y/n responds and Justin nods.

"Yes, can you imagine how hard it is to stop seeing that little face every day all day?" Justin says pointing to Y/n who blushes at the comment.

"And can you imagine what it's like to stop listening to his grandpa jokes every day all day?" Y/n says pointing to Justin who laughs.

"Oh come on you always laugh!"

"I'm not complaining, your silly jokes make my day better." Y/n says and Justin smiles affectionately at her

"Isn't she amazing?" Justin asks the camera.

"Shall we say goodbye then?"

"Unfortunately our time is up" Justin says placing his hand on his heart and closing his eyes.

"But that was fun." Y/n says smiling

"Yes, I hope we get invited to do it again soon."

"With this behavior? I don't think so." The two laugh.

"Well thanks for the questions, keep giving love and watching The umbrella academy, bye!" Y/n speaks and waving smiling

"Bye!" Justin smiles too and nods.

"And cut" They listen then hear applause and whistles from the production

"I don't think we were too bad." Y/n says to Justin as she gets up from his chair.

"We are the best duo." Justin says getting up from his chair and lightly bumping his shoulder against Y/n's.

"I agree"

A few days later the video was released and the most loved by fans so far.

"My God this is my friendship goal!"

"They're so cute!"

"Please tell me they're together.."

"Date someone who looks at you the way Justin looks at Y/n"

"THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER IS SO... AAAAH!"

"I need more fanfics about the two please."

"I think the fans loved this huh couple." Robert says reading the comments, while the three of them are having their drinks just chilling.

"We're not a couple." Justin and Y/n say this together making Robert laugh.

"Only a couple would do that."

[dspflv]

welcome to my silly little blog ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁

is this outdated? maybe. Do I care? absolutely not! :D

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆˚ ABOUT ME

My name is nysa! but I just use rory because I can, refer to me as whichever you like :)

I'm a libra, my birthday is on 18th october!

I'm Indian (gujju, incase you were curious)

my blog's instagram

I love writing, @sukisheadlights if you wanna check it out <3

I have hazel green eyes :)

I've dyed my hair red <3

my favourite colours are navy blue, dark cyan/ dark teal, tiffany blue, & white

I'm a true winter (got colour analysed lol)

I play a few games but they're pretty basic

I love formula 1!

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆˚ MOVIES I REALLY LOVE

mean girls, jennifer's body, clueless, all the harry potter movies, goliyon ki rasleela ram-leela, bajirao mastani, maleficent, alaadin, mulan, shang-chi, anything from the mcu really, avatar (the blue aliens), zootopia, fast & furious franchise, enola holmes, jurrasic world, k-12

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆˚ SERIES I REALLY LOVE

friends, b99, f1:dts, only murderers in the building, voltron:ld , pjo, bridgerton, gilmore girls, gossip girl, F&F:spy racers, TUA, AWAE, mako mermaids, shadow and bone, stranger things, the deep, obx

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆˚ ARTISTS I STAN

taylor swift, dua lipa, ariana grande, sabrina carpenter, gracie abrams, conan grey, olivia rodrigo, arctic monkeys, lana del rey, mitski, lyn lapid, laufey, madison beer, doja cat, melanie martinez, hozier, kali uchis, childish gambino

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆˚ ABOUT THE BLOG

I've always wanted a blog/vlog but I never had the confidence to post videos on youtube so I'm just going to be posting here hopefully even after I eventually start a channel.

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆˚ A FINAL MESSAGE

So hey, my name is nysa :) I want to be a singer so assuming I become as famous as I wish to be one day, and a fan of mine finds this...don't bully me too much? back to present day, enjoy this look into my chaotic labyrinth of my mind. I love you say it back <3

We'll be doing a little bit of everything here <3

advice, tips, general conversation, blogs, anything you name it :D

except writing, that's gonna be just @sukisheadlights (sorry)

okay, bye!

[whimsitruffl]

Hello! I’m Truffle!

My pronouns are he/they & I’m 19 yrs old.

I’ve been on tumblr for a couple of years now (at least 4-5) but I constantly move around blogs because I’m inconsistent. This will be my main blog and full of mixed media and such (also hoping that this is the last time I move blogs)

Another blog I have is @daydreams-n-pens (fan fiction)

Interests: fantasy genre (from regular fantasy to sci-fi & apocalyptic), world building, d&d/ttrpgs, science, art, folklore

Media: tua, the witcher, tlou, twd, ghibli studio, btvs

Video Games: minecraft, the witcher 3, wytchwood, stardew valley, spiritfarer

DNI: if you’re a shit person. I’ll block as I see fit.

[breathenbounce]

It's Just a Game

I grew up in a household that loved to watch sports. I was always against the grain when it comes to sports because in the past, I was a very antagonistic sports fan. My family tried to raise me on two premises. There are two baseball teams in Chicago, and you should always root for the team from where you were born. I disagreed with that as I was a White Sox fan through and through and despised the Cubs. I wasn't down with the 1985 Bears, but the 85 Dolphins since they beat them. I also loved the Blackhawks, and eventually found a way to root for the Miami Heat (because I was a very antagonistic sports fan.) However my feelings about sports have been starting to change over the years.

At the end of the day, sports is a game. It's where people compete, but unfortunately it has become much more than that over the years. What started as friendly competition between different humans has now become a pissing contest and a money heist.

First let me talk about the sports industry itself. There are billions of dollars at play here. Billions. Sports is a very marketable commodity and the athletes who participate are paid very large sums of money. I understand that this is what it is and it isn't' anyone's fault. As with most things, human begins find a way to take something beautiful and make it crazy. However, the way some of these athletes present themselves is not cool at all. They are role models to very impressionable young men and women who look up to them. Some of these athletes really do their best to maintain a positive image. People speak of hard work and getting your craft right, which i don't have a problem with. However, the drama show sports has become sucks. We should care more about what goes on in the field, than the locker rooms. The NFL has made itself a year round spectacle with the draft, the combine, and ofcourse we have salary caps and things like that which create much debate between fans.

Fueling the fans anger and "passion" about sports is the talking heads of ESPN and FS1. Listening to the ugliness that comes out of the mouths of people like Colin Cowherd, Skip Bayless just to name a few in insane. These people never have played sports, but they talk like they have so much knowledge about the game. They are very dismissive of people and their opinions. They add fuel to the hate machine that sportsmedia has become.

And the fans are taking things way too far. I have seen so many videos of fans fighting each other over silly stuff. I have seen fans dump popcorn on players heads. Anyone remember the malice at the palace? that was a result of a fan throwing a drink on a player.

As I said earlier, I like the Miami Dolphins. Their quarterback Tua Tagovailoa is one of the nicest, humblest, players i have ever seen, and he had led Miami to a couple of winning seasons, something us Finfans haven't seen since the days of Marino (the guy who made ma fan.) Yet all the complaining and personal attacks on Tua are crazy.

My bottom line is I believe the sports world should be looking at ways where they put kindness and sportsmanship first. I respect peoples opinions but some of the sports talkers out there need to go. Sports has become a world of toxicity and I never really became a huge sports fan until I reached my late 20s and early 30s because I felt I couldn't identify with anything. As I have taken a deep dive into my life, I find myself caring less and less about sports, with the exception of football. Sports is quite the commitment. As I said the NFL runs a year long business. But its only 17 weeks and if you are lucky your team plays a few games in the playoffs where they win and go home. Its not the 162 game marathon baseball is or the 88 game season in basketabll and hockey. It goes by fast, easy to keep up with. However, something needs to be said about the sports culture. The innocence of sports is gone.

People need to remember at the end, its only a game. The players don't care whether or not you have negative feelings towards them. The media only wants you to buy the stuff they advertise in between innings, downs, time outs, whatever. People need to stop taking it so seriously. Start looking at why you take it so seriously. What are you missing? What will help you feel happier? What will make you feel joy? It may be the thrill of victory, but that's not guaranteed. What is guaranteed is the impression you leave on the people around you, and I would strongly caution many sports fans to take that in stride. When you make hurtful remarks, they cannot be taken back. When you go after players, you forget they are human too because of the pedestals they have been placed on. Many sports fans will say they're just spitting facts. Facts don't care about feelings, people do. So maybe less facts, and more empathy is what is needed in the athletic world. These athletes leave the game not the same, and they are lucky to make the money they have, but they bleed red like all of us.

I asked for kindness on a Dolphins fan page on Facebook one day, and people told me to shut up. That this is a sports page and this is how people talk. Change is the most beautiful thing in the world. It has to start somewhere. I hope there are others who feel like I do and want to see less anger and sarcasm. I was there. i was the worst, Looking back I am ashamed how I behaved during my Sox vs Cubs days. I have been trying to grow and at the end of the day, I can only do what I can do. I can decide what I allow in my environment and maybe if this continues, I may have to reconsider my fondness for football and choose kindness and grace instead.

Sorry I rambled alot this week, but it just was on my mind so I spoke on it. How do you feel?

M

[seoul-italybts]

[✎ ITA] British GQ : JungKook Riguardo gli Alti e Bassi della Produzione del Suo Album Solista, Golden | 03.11.2023

‘È stato talmente stancante... Quasi la mia anima mi stesse abbandonando’

JungKook riguardo gli alti e bassi della produzione del suo album solista, Golden

Il più giovane dei BTS è l'ultimo membro ad avventurarsi nella sua carriera solista. Con il rilascio del suo album di debutto, si riappropria di un soprannome nato 10 anni fa.

di LUCY FORD |  Twitter 

Quando, a luglio, JungKook ha rilasciato il suo primo singolo solista, “Seven”, si è addentrato in un mondo che non aveva ancora mai esplorato nei suoi 10 anni di carriera come parte del gruppo sud-coreano dei BTS – è diventato esplicito. Nella collaborazione con la rapper Latto presenta, infatti, un ritornello in cui promette ‘Notte dopo notte, ti scoperò con passione’.

Questa, per JungKook è stata una sorta di nuova presentazione. In quanto membro più giovane del gruppo pop da record, è fin da quando, a 15 anni, ha debuttato che si porta dietro quest'immagine da eterno adolescente. La settimana dopo l'uscita del singolo, ha fatto uno dei suoi soliti live stream con le/i fan e ha messo a tacere le critiche riguardo al testo, dicendo, “Cioè, pensateci, quanti anni ho?”

JungKook ha 26 anni, e quella diretta è stata un'opportunità per ricordare garbatamente alle/i fan che, in fin dei conti, ormai è un adulto, e che questo non potrà che riflettersi nella sua musica, d'ora in poi. Il video ha raccolto oltre 8 milioni di visualizzazioni, la maggior parte delle quali in tempo reale. Pensare d'essere di fronte al corrispettivo della popolazione di una grande città, ogni singolo individuo pendente dalle tue labbra ed attento ad ogni tua parola, potrebbe sembrare terrificante, ma JungKook ci è abituato. Nel corso degli ultimi 10 anni, i BTS hanno stabilito record incredibili: sono il gruppo più riprodotto su Spotify, il primo gruppo sud-coreano ad ottenere la vetta delle classifiche Billboard. Detengono oltre 20 Guinness World Record e la loro fanbase, chiamata ARMY, è un'entità culturale vera e propria.

JungKook è l'ultimo tra i membri dei BTS ad intraprendere l'avventura solista, dopo che il gruppo ha annunciato una pausa temporanea nel 2022, così da permettere ai suoi componenti di esplorare nuovi progetti creativi oltre che completare il servizio militare - obbligatorio per quasi tutti i giovani uomini coreani. Il suo album di debutto solista, Golden, arriva dopo un paio di singoli pre-release, ovvero “Seven” e “3D” feat. Jack Harlow, ed il titolo riprende un soprannome che lo ha seguito per tutta la durata della sua carriera, quello di ‘golden maknae (maknae d'oro)’, vale a dire il membro più giovane che è bravo in tutto. L'album, cantato interamente in inglese, è un accattivante mix di generi, che va a coprire il pop più classico, le sonorità vellutate del R&B, il fascino rètro del funk anni '70 nonché del buon crooning vecchio stile.

Nonostante il titolo sia un riferimento al suo status di membro più giovane del gruppo, l'album ci restituisce un JungKook più adulto, che canta di sesso, sballo e dell'essere talmente preso da qualcuno, da non riuscire a ragionare lucidamente.

“Sono contento si percepisca un senso di maturità”, commenta JungKook riguardo il suo progetto, durante una video-chiamata in diretta da Seoul, con il supporto di un'interprete.

“Ma non è stata una cosa intenzionale, più un risultato naturale, direi.”

In quest'intervista, GQ parla con JungKook delle registrazioni del suo primo album solista inglese, delle tracce che crede le/gli ARMY ameranno di più e della sua ricerca di merito e riconoscimenti più che sete di successo.

GQ: Com'è stato registrare quest'album da solista?

JungKook: Lavorando a quest'album ed esibendomi da solo, ho notato aspetti di me che ancora non conoscevo – sia cose positive che altre ancora da migliorare. Per quanto riguarda la musica, ho scoperto cose tipo, “Oh, me la cavo anche in questo genere, quindi?” o “Ah, su questo devo ancora lavorare”. E ho sentito anche parecchio la mancanza degli altri membri dei BTS.

GQ: Ci sono state difficoltà o sfide particolari, nel produrre un album completamente in una lingua straniera?

JungKook: Rispetto al registrare canzoni in coreano, sì, è stato decisamente un po' estenuante. Ma la fatica non mi preoccupa più di tanto. Ho notato che sto migliorando nella pronuncia inglese, ma ho ancora molto da imparare. Quindi, sì, è divertente e voglio continuare a mettermi alla prova.

GQ: C'è stata forse qualche canzone con cui hai riscontrato maggiori difficoltà, o una che è particolarmente speciale per te?

JungKook: La canzone che mi ha dato maggiori problemi e cui sono più legato è "Standing Next to You". Di per sé, è un brano fantastico, non appena l'ho sentito, mi sono subito prefigurato come sarebbe potuta essere una potenziale esibizione dal vivo. Ma il processo di registrazione non è stato semplice, quindi è una canzone che mi è rimasta particolarmente impressa. È stato talmente stancante, quasi come se la mia anima mi stesse abbandonando, ma in fondo il processo creativo è stato davvero divertente. Credo anche le/gli ARMY rimarranno particolarmente sorpresə da questa canzone.

GQ: ‘Golden (d'oro)’ è un termine che ti porti dietro da anni. È un tenero soprannome usato per descrivere la tua abilità nel fare bene un po' di tutto, ma, in passato, hai confidato che talvolta ne avverti anche il forte senso di responsabilità.

JungKook: Questo termine, “Golden”, è nato come soprannome datomi da Namjoon hyung [RM, il leader dei BTS]. In passato, non ero tanto sicuro di me, quindi lo avvertivo un po' come un peso. Ma, con l'andare del tempo ed i tanti cambiamenti affrontati – in termini di personalità, modo di pensare ecc. - il nome “Golden Maknae” è diventato motivo d'orgoglio, per me. In quest'album è racchiuso tutto il mio percorso - i miei sforzi e la mia passione, tutto ciò che mi porto dietro fin dal debutto – ed una ritrovata autostima che mi ha permesso di fare fede all'appellativo di “Golden”. Inoltre, è anche il risultato di tutto ciò che ho vissuto e sperimentato fino ad ora. Ne parlo sempre in termini di “golden moments (momenti d'oro)”. Sì, è un album che incorpora tutti questi momenti d'oro che mi hanno portato ad essere quello che sono oggi.

GQ: Sei il membro più giovane dei BTS, ma, attraverso quest'album, hai potuto presentarti al mondo per quello che sei al di là di questa etichetta. Sentivi il desiderio di concentrarti su un sound più maturo?

JungKook: Quando si creano canzoni, ci si lascia guidare dal proprio cuore, dalle proprie emozioni. È merito di questo approccio creativo che sono potuto maturare.

GQ: In passato, durante un'intervista insieme al tuo compagno di gruppo

J-Hope, hai dichiarato che, negli anni a venire, ti sarebbe piaciuto sperimentare con vari personaggi/personalità, ognunə legatə ad un genere musicale differente. Ciò che sentiamo in Golden, è forse il risultato di questa sperimentazione?

JungKook: Volevo semplicemente provare generi musicali e stili diversi e lavorare ad un mio sound personale. Ma quello è tutt'ora il mio obiettivo principale. Voglio sperimentare con storie e concept creativi differenti. D'altro canto, però, quando sarà il momento e mi sentirò pronto a condividere la mia storia, credo il pezzo che scriverò sarà una canzone per le/i fan con un testo molto personale e sincero.

GQ: Insieme ai BTS, hai ottenuto un successo senza pari. Che cosa rappresenta per te il successo, ora che lavori come artista solista?

JungKook: Non credo il successo debba essere qualcosa che siano altri a determinare. Semplicemente, quando si è soddisfattə di sè, felici, quando si affrontano difficoltà, ci si arrabbia – credo il “successo” sia sempre intrinsecamente legato a tutti quei momenti. Più che inseguire la fama ed il successo, mi accontento di essere soddisfatto di me stesso.

GQ: E sei soddisfatto di quest'album?

JungKook: Sì, ne sono soddisfatto. Ci sono alcune cose che avrei voluto fare o fare meglio, ma ho dato il massimo. È così che voglio vedere questo progetto.

⠸ Ita : © Seoul_ItalyBTS⠸

[fitnessitaliano]

Svelati i Segreti per Diventare una Star di TikTok e Guadagnare con i Tuoi Contenuti 🌟💰

Hai mai sognato di diventare una celebrità su TikTok e persino guadagnare con i tuoi video? Bene, sei nel posto giusto! 🚀

Scopri i Segreti del Successo su TikTok

TikTok è diventata una delle piattaforme social più popolari al mondo, con milioni di utenti attivi. Quindi, come puoi emergere in questa vasta comunità e trasformare la tua passione in un'opportunità di guadagno? Ecco alcuni consigli chiave:

1. Trova la Tua Nicchia: Inizia identificando il tuo interesse principale. Che si tratti di cucina, moda, comicità o, perché no, finanza, concentrati su ciò che ti appassiona di più.

2. Crea Contenuti Originali: La chiave per emergere è creare contenuti unici e originali. Anche se puoi prendere ispirazione da altri creator, metti sempre il tuo tocco personale per distinguerti.

3. Usa gli Hashtag con Saggezza: Gli hashtag possono aiutarti a raggiungere un pubblico più ampio. Utilizza quelli pertinenti al tuo contenuto e che sono popolari nella tua nicchia.

4. Interagisci con il Tuo Pubblico: Rispondi ai commenti e interagisci con i tuoi follower. La connessione con il pubblico è fondamentale per costruire una base di fan fedele.

5. Collaborazioni: Considera la possibilità di collaborare con altri creator o partecipare a challenge popolari. Queste collaborazioni possono portare a una maggiore esposizione.

6. Monetizza il Tuo Talent: Una volta costruita una solida base di follower, esplora le opportunità di monetizzazione. Questo può includere sponsorizzazioni, partnership con marchi o addirittura l'utilizzo di TikTok Live per ricevere donazioni dai tuoi fan.

Per ulteriori dettagli su questi punti e per scoprire i segreti del successo su TikTok, ti invito a leggere l'articolo completo su [Inserisci l'URL dell'articolo completo]. 📖

Non perdere l'opportunità di trasformare la tua passione in una carriera online e diventare una star di TikTok. Il successo è alla portata di tutti, basta metterci impegno e creatività! 🌟

Scopri di Più Su Finanza360.net

[frozenwafflesagain]

I’m not Backstreet, but I am back again with another Umbrella Academy edit!

This took me…so long. I have not slept. I love it so much.

Song: Love From The Other Side by Fall Out Boy

(Apparently FOB songs just make for good TUA edits? Idk man I don’t make the rules)

[adhindatb]

Menjalani peran sebagai istri bukanlah tugas mudah untuk Sabila, dibalik kesibukannya menjadi salah satu manajer disebuah perusahaan ternama, Ia berusaha untuk terus menyesuaikan ritme rumah tangga nya dengan kesibukan dunia kerja. Arya tak jarang juga meminta Sabila mengurangi tanggung jawabnya di kantor untuk bisa beristirahat bahkan pulang tepat waktu seperti karyawan lainnya. Namun perkataan suami nya itu tak diindahkan, bagi nya bekerja adalah prioritas utama nya saat ini, Sabila telah ambisius sejak dulu. Perjanjian sebelum menikah dengan Arya pun berisikan larangan untuk Arya menyuruh Sabila resign. Tidak boleh ada yang menghambat mimpi-mimpi Sabila, termasuk apa yang telah Ia perjuangkan sampai detik ini.

Menjadi laki-laki yang memiliki istri lebih dominan bukanlah hal mudah, dari segi pendidikan dan ekonomi Arya merasa kalah dengan istri nya itu. Namun Arya telah lebih banyak belajar ilmu rumah tangga, Ia tidak ingin kehilangan jiwa kepemimpinannya. Baginya, Sabila boleh lebih unggul dari nya dalam segala hal, tapi tidak soal kepatuhannya dengan Arya sebagai suami nya. Sehingga butuh waktu untuk Arya memahamkan hal itu kepada Sabila. Perlahan tapi pasti, Sabila mulai menerima Arya, mencoba untuk mau dengan senang hati menerima sosok Arya di hidup nya.

Sore itu di teras villa Sabila melihat status sosial media dari teman karib nya Fani. Ia tengah berbahagia sebab kelahiran putra pertamanya. Hal itu membuat Sabila membalas status tersebut dengan bahagia.

“Akhirnya gue jadi tanteeeeeeee! Fannn selamat yaaaa. Akhir nya lu jadi mamak mamak hahahha.” Tulis Sabila meledek sahabat nya itu.

“Hai ontyyyy Saaaaaaa, ayuk sini main kerumah abang Rayhan. Bantuin mamak aku ganti popok dan mandiin akuuu.” Fani berganti membalas pesan itu dengan ledekan pula.

“Ihhh gemecccc, anak kicil udah pinter ngetik di HP yaaa. Tante mau telpon dong boleh nggak?”

Tidak lama setelah itu Fani menelpon Sabila lebih dulu, mereka lanjut bicara via video call untuk mewakili ketidakhadiran Sabila di moment bahagia itu.

“Halo Billll, makasih yaa buat kado nyaa, sudah datang tadi pagi, have fun ya liburannya sama Arya. Siapa tahu abis itu Rayhan otw dapat teman main.” Fani meledek sahabatnya yang sedang berlibur bersama sang suami. Itu adalah kali pertama Sabila dan Arya liburan berdua sejak mereka menikah satu tahun lalu.

“Hahahaha bisa ajaa. tapi Fan gue mau nanya deh, lu kenapa bisa siap punya anak sih? Lu nggak takut semua hidup lu bakalan berubah?” Sabila menanyakan pendapat itu pada Fani karena sejauh ini Sabila belum ada niatan untuk memiliki seorang anak.

“Justru itu Billl, ketika sudah berkeluarga, fokus gue sudah bukan tentang gue, ataupun suami gue. tapi ini tentang kita. Dan karena gue merasa harus memiliki keturunan, yaa gue nggak punya alasan buat menunda kan. Mungkin beda urusan ya sama lu yang punya banyak kesibukan. Tapi saran gue sih kalau bisa punya Bill, setidaknya satu kalau lu memang nggak mau banyak-banyak. Masa tua kita tuh terlalu berharga kalau nggak dilewati bareng anak cucu.”

Sabila terdiam, Ia tidak menyangka teman kecil nya itu telah beranjak dewasa. Pemikirannya luas dan jauh sekali. Bahkan Sabila sempat terhipnotis dengan jawaban yang Fani berikan. Apakah ini saat yang tepat untuk Sabila mengambil jeda sejenak untuk mulai membangun keluarga seperti pada umumnya, punya anak dan hidup bahagia? Sabila bertanya-tanya pada hati kecil nya.

“Tapi Fan, kalau gue merasa nggak siap jadi ibu gimana?”

“Nggak ada seorang ibu yang benar-benar siap 100% Billl, begitupun gue, yang penting kita mau untuk terus belajar dan jadi yang terbaik untuk anak kita. Pasti bisa kok, lu kan punya Arya yang bakal terus dukung lu juga.” Fani menjawab hal itu senetral mungkin dan memberi dukungan.

“Gue tuh heran ya Fan sama Arya, kok ada sih laki-laki berhati lembut kaya dia? Selama satu tahun ini dia tuh sering banget gue abaikan keberadaanya. Pernikahan ini tuh kaya formalitas aja gitu. Sampai suatu ketika gue tuh jatuh hati banget dengan cara dia melindungi ibu dan gue. Dia benar-benar hadir buat jadi pengganti alm Ayah Fin. Ngejagain gue dan merawat ibu, gue luluh Fin lihat perhatiannya.”

“Ehmmm ciee jadi sudah mulai jatuh cinta nih?” Fani meledek Sabila yang mulai mengaku tentang perasaannya pada Arya.

“Yaa gue nggak tahu sih, tapiiiii, muncul perasaan buat bikin dia bahagia jugaaaaa. Gimana dong Fan? Masa sih gue jatuh cinta sama dia?”

“Ya menurut lu aja, tinggal serumah, sekamar, dan sudah tau luar dalam nya. Masa iya sih nggak timbul perasaan? Bohong banget!”

“Menurut lu, aneh nggak sih kalau gue bilang mau punya anak juga ke dia?”

“Hahahhaah lu nih ada-ada aja yaa bener deh! Yang ada lu aneh banget kalau sampe berniat nggak punya anak. Yaa walaupun di jaman sekarang banyak banget yaa kampenye-kampanye buat keluarga muda biar nggak perlu punya anak, tapi waktu gue jadi ibu beneran, rasanya tuh benar-benar se-bahagia itu ternyata.”

“Lu ih, bikin iri ya sekarang. Tapi okedeh, nanti coba gue komunikasikan sama suami gue.”

“Hahahaha cieeeee, tuhkann sudah ngaku kalau punya suami sekarang. Liburan kali ini misi nya berhasil nih kayanya.”

“Dihhh, nggak jelas ya emang, dah lah, nanti gue telpon lagi yaaa. Thanks for your timeee ibu cantikkk. Semangatt mengASIhi yaaa.”

“Siaappp, sama-sama ya Billl, sampai ketemu lagi kita.”

Sabila menutup telpon itu, Ia menatap jauh ke arah jendela luar, bayangan itu hadir lagi, sebuah definisi keluarga sempurna yang tidak pernah terlintas di pikirannya, memiliki buah hati yang lucu dan ceria. Senyum itu terukir di bibir Sabila, tidak sengaja pula Arya masuk ke kamar dan melihat istri nya itu tersenyum manis. Ia bingung apa yang telah terjadi, tapi pemandangan itu tidak ingin Arya alihkan dengan cepat, Ia menunggu Sabila sadar bahwa suami nya telah berada disana, melihat tingkah anehnya senyum-senyum sendiri. Arya mendekati Sabila dan duduk di sisi kasur lainnya, Sabila masih juga tersenyum dan belum menyadari keberadaan suaminya. Sampai saat Arya merebahkan badannya di kasur, Sabila sadar akan gerakan dimana tempat Ia duduk termenung, Ia akhirnya sadar bahwa ada oranglain disana.

“Emhh kamu sejak kapan disitu?” Sabila tersadar dan bertanya kepada Arya yang kini asyik dengan ponsel nya.

“Baru saja mau aku rekam ada manusia yang daritadi senyum-senyum sendiri.”

Sabila hanya tersenyum tipis menanggapi ucapan suaminya itu.

“Makan yuk, nasi goreng kamu pasti sudah matang kan?” 

Sabila langsung mengalihkan pembicaraan itu dan mengajak Arya makan, sejak tadi Sabila telah mencium aroma nasi goreng yang sedang Arya buat. Sejak menikah Sabila juga menjadi tahu bahwa skill memasak tak hanya dimiliki perempuan saja. Nyatanya laki-laki yang ada dihadapannya itu pandai sekali membuat masakan apapun.

 Didepan hidangan nasi goreng teri itu Sabila tampak antusias, hal itu membuat Arya tampak sedikiti bingung dan heran. Baru kali ini Ia merasa diapresiasi atas apa yang dia usakan. Sesuatu yang tidak butuh perjuangan panjang, hanya nasi goreng sebagai menu sarapan. Tetapi Arya tidak pernah lupa menyertakan hati nya, pada perjuangannya itu pula, Ia selalu menyelipkan doa-doa untuk melunakan hati Istri nya agar bisa menerima nya dengan sempurna.

“Tadi mikirin apa sih? kok senyum-senyum gitu?”

“Hhhmmmm, kamu merhatiin?” Arya skakmat, Ia memang tengah memperhatikan tapi hal itu sungguh tidak sengaja saat Ia hendak masuk ke kamar.

“Nggak sengaja sih tadi lihat kamu asik senyum-senyum sendiri.” Arya menjawab dengan mimik datar. Ia mulai menyendok nasi goreng buatannya yang tampak enak dengan telur dadar dipisah itu.

“Aku tiba-tiba kepikiran deh.” Sabila mulai membuka apa yang membuat Ia senyum-senyum tak karuan itu.

“Kepikiran apa?”

“Aku pengen punya anak.” Arya tiba-tiba tersedak, setan manakah yang memasuki jiwa Sabila, mengapa keinginan nya itu sangat bertolak belakang dengan perlakuannya selama satu tahun belakangan ini. Arya bingung tapi juga ikut tersenyum akan keinginan istrinya itu.

“Apa yang memotivasi kamu punya keinginan itu?” Arya masih berusaha tenang dan mencari tahu akar ide tiba-tiba itu.

“Kayanya rumah tangga kita bisa berubah deh kalau sudah ada anak. Aku lihat hidup Fani jauh lebih bahagia sekarang.”

“Hmmm, Faniii, okeeee. Tapi kalau aku boleh saran, alangkah baiknya sebelum itu, kita sama-sama mempersiapkan dulu jadi orang tua terbaik. Fani bahagia mungkin karena dia sudah banyak belajar.”

“Maksud kamu aku kurang belajar?”

“Enggakk, maksudnya kita bisa memulai dengan konsultasi terlebih dahulu ke dokter, kita persiapkan semuanya dengan rapi, nggak tiba-tiba.”

***

Sejak saat itu mereka berdua bersepakat untuk program hamil, mempersiapkan kehidupan seorang anak manusia yang lebih baik, tentu saja dari orang tua nya. Mereka mendatangi dokter spesialis kandungan dan memeriksakan kondisi satu sama lain. Tapi bak kilat di siang bolong, mereka harus mengetahui kenyataan pahit bahwa Sabila terdiagnosis polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), sebuah penyakit yang menyerang hormon sehingga hormon reproduksi nya terganggu dan menyebabkan membengkakan ovarium. Hal itu membuat dokter menyarankan Sabila untuk menyembuhkan PCOS itu dahulu sebelum program hamil dimulai.

Pergi ke dokter kandungan untuk pertama kalinya untuk Sabila siang itu benar-benar melukiskan trauma, Ia datang dengan kebahagiaan namun pulang dengan perasaan campur aduk kekecewaan. Meski PCOS bukanlah penyakit serius dan sangat bisa disembuhkan seiring dengan pola hidup sehat dan olahraga yang cukup, Sabila merasa itu menjadi hukuman baginya yang sejauh ini mengabaikan sang suami. Ia merasa gagal menjadi wanita yang utuh dan penuh karena diagnosa tersebut.

“Kamu denger kan tadi kata dokter, itu bisa sembuh kok.” Arya menguatkan Sabila. diagnosa itu berita buruk baginya, tapi bukan berarti tak ada harapan.

“Gimana kalau enggak?”

“Aku akan tetap ada disamping kamu, nemenin kamu sampai sembuh. Kita berjuang sama-sama yaa.”

Sabila menggelengkan kepala nya tanda ketidaksepakatannya terhadap perkataan Arya itu. Ia sudah terlalu lama menyiksa Arya untuk berjuang  padanya. Dan kali ini, Ia lagi-lagi membuat suaminya itu berjuang lebih keras untuknya.

“Kamu boleh kok cari yang lebih baik dari aku.” Sabila mengeluarkan jurus drama nya sebagai perempuan, di film-film yang Ia tonton, kerap kali rumah tangga yang sulit dikarunia seorang anak solusi nya adalah menikah lagi, atau bercerai.

“Apasih kamu tuh, nggak usah drama deh. Yang pengen banget punya anak itu kan kamu, aku tuh nggak masalah nemenin kamu sembuh dulu. Aku juga nggak nuntut kamu untuk segera punya kan? Pasti sembuh.”

“Ya tapi kalau nggak sembuh gimanaaa????”

“Perlu aku ulang jawabannya?” Arya menggenggam tangan Sabila, Ia terus menguatkan bahwa tidak akan ada yang berubah meski Ia tahu kenyataan beberapa jam lalu oleh dokter.

“Dokter itu cuma mendiagnosa, keputusannya tetap pada Tuhan Yang Maha Esa Billl. Sekarang kita lakukan anjuran dokter ya, mulai makan sehat dan rutin olahraga. Kita lewatin ini sama-sama.”

“Jadi, kamu sepakat buat melanjutkan cerita kita?”

“Iyaa dong.”

“Okeee, mari kita lanjutkan cerita kita ya sayang.”

Arya membisu, kini perempuan yang ada di sebelahnya itu memanggilnya sayang. Sebuah kata yang mustahil keluar dari perempuan seperti Sabila. Kini Sabila terperangkap dengan cinta Arya yang tidak pernah padam, Ia tak pernah berdoa mendapatkan suami yang baik nya tiada tara. Tapi Arya hadir memberikan sebuah harapan bagi Sabila. Sosok yang kini mulai Sabila rasakan getaran cinta nya. Keyakinan Arya membuatnya semangat dalam menjalani perjuangan yang jauh lebih berat selanjutnya.

[ibroughtyoumybullets]

you got into mcr as an ADULT?

ok wait i think this is from the other night when i let the one direction beast out of her cage but i love telling this story so im answering it late. sorry i don’t look at my inbox enough.

yes!! kind of. <- short answer.

long answer: so i was starting to get into rock music when i was about … 12? my first Band That Was Mine was paramore but after the farro brothers left the band in 2010 i was in search of something else to love. i got into atl (eugh) and the Maine (the loves of my life listen to the maine NOW) and fall out boy (don’t listen to them that much anymore but they were important to my musical development) and that old Ryan Ross and Dallon Weekes project that fell off (weird that they never released anything after v&v? anyhow) and several other bands that were accessible to my little 12 year old brain.

and then one day when i was listening to camisado on YouTube i was looking for other songs that made me Feel The Same and this song by this band called my chemical romance called Mama popped up in the yt recommended sidebar. so I listened to it and was like “wait why is this music scary. this song makes me scared. am i even allowed to listen to this it has the word mama and hell in it am I gonna get in trouble” and got nervous and stopped listening. but i would go back to it every so often and it led me to teenagers which I would listen to when I wanted to feel cool and wttbp which was wholly inaccessible to my 12 year old brain but i still thought was cool anyhow.

and then, later, maybe a couple months later? i was on YouTube watching the what makes you beautiful music video over and over again and this song called NaNaNa came up in recommended. and the music video BLEW MY LITTLE BRAIN AWAY. IT WAS UNLIKE ANYTHING I HAD EVER SEEN BEFORE. the colors and cars and the outfits and the GUITARS and the guns and the lyrics … fucking altered the fabric of my life. so I watched the sing music video and it did the same to me and i was motherfucking INTRUIGED. so I did some googling and saw they had started to release new music. i didn’t really understand the a/b side singles format but I thought maybe this was just a different way bands released albums. so I waited patiently for each single drop - and it wasn’t quite like their other music but it still really interested me.

this, notably, was around the time i started attending concerts. the first real concert I attended was an Ed sheeran show at the house of blues when he was touring his first album and was mostly only known by one direction fans in the US. and I was like … oh this is the coolest thing in the world and I wanna do it all the time. I had tickets to a concert for the Maine in June of that year, 3 days after the time I would see one direction live. So my 13 year old brain was like YES since I am now grown (lol) and a concert goer I will wait until mcr announces a tour for their new music and go and it’ll be great.

and then they broke up. lol.

and i was like. SAD. well there are other bands. and just kind of moved on. there were boy bands to blog about. it wasn’t a huge loss to me. they hadn’t Gotten me yet.

but during the time they were broken up, particularly as I got older, I could never quite listen to them. i would try to occasionally but it just made me sad because I knew I could really love this band and they weren’t around for me to love them and I didn’t feel like setting myself up to love a band I would never see.

but in spring of 2019 I was a sophomore in college, deeply, deeply depressed, and holed up in my room 22 stories up going crazy with insomnia. and my mom texted me and was like “hey me and dad have started watching this show, the umbrella academy. its based off a comic book that was written by Gerard way? Who was in a band? I think you would like it” so I started milking tua dry for hyperfixation serotonin and was watching cast interviews, etc, and then I watched one with Gerard in it. and I was like. oh. it’s you it’s the band guy. maybe I’ll listen to some of your music as a treat.

so I started listening to danger days a lot. i think I needed the color in my life. and i really enjoyed it, especially since I was older and had a better understanding of myself and music. but it still made me sad, you know? i really liked this band but they clearly weren’t ever going to exist again - I mean Gerard clearly had his own stuff going on, and this was before Twitter introduced Topics so I would get Frank’s tweets about his touring in my recommended Twitter feed. the band was dead. so I’d listen to danger days and absorb whatever hope I could from it and walk away better but still sad.

this continued throughout the summer and into the fall.

this is the funniest part of this story: mid October 2019 I was in a parking lot with my friends smoking weed and listening to music. somebody gave me the aux and I put on DD and we had a discussion about our younger and more emo days and i said “I hope you guys know if they ever got back together I would drag you to see them” and they were all like yeah that’s fair.

and then, on Halloween 2019, I was on a train on my way out to visit a friend in college so we could party (I had dropped out LOL) and I was sitting on the train waiting for it to leave the station. i had a whole playlist ready and was getting into the drunk and slutty mood. I opened Twitter one last time before I turned my signal off so I could conserve battery and somebody had tweeted that mcr had gotten back together and I was like. ok not funny. but then I saw another tweet about it. and another. so I cautiously opened the MCR Twitter page and saw it was real. i could not fucking believe it. so i through my playlist out of the window and listened to black parade front to back for the first time in my life, cried a little, had everything change for me.

and then there were days and days where I would listen to all of their albums and tried my best to eat their music alive. I started stalking the MCR tag on tumblr, started following a couple people from mcrblr on my old blog, and began letting myself Love them.

and then there was the shrine and an offering and a summoning and the insanity of accepting I would be able to see them live with my own little eyes. the day tickets dropped I literally left work on my half hour break, went home, fought Ticketmaster, and got tickets for me and my friends. I’d never been so excited.

and there was a plague and several years and in the interim they have become My Band. I’m never going to love another band like this and I don’t want to. im so happy to be here and I’m so happy it happened now, when I’m older and have a better handle on myself and have the ability to chase them around.

so yeah. this was long but so was my journey to them. if I’m weird about my chemical romance it’s just because I had to wait a decade for them and it feels very much like fate to me.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Tuesday, May 23

Buffy: Hey, speaking of 'wow' potential, there's Oz over there. What are we thinking, any sparkage? Willow: (smiles) He's nice. Hey, I like his hands. Buffy: Mm. A fixation on insignificant detail is a definite crush sign. Willow: Oh, I don't know, though. I mean, he is a senior. Buffy: (stops) You think he's too old 'cause he's a senior? Please. My boyfriend had a bicentennial. Willow: That's true. (unsure) Uh... I guess... I just... Buffy: You can't spend the rest of your life waiting for Xander to wake up and smell the hottie. Make a move. Do the talking thing. Willow: Well, what if the talking thing becomes the awkward-silence thing? Buffy: Well, you won't know until you try.

~~Buffy Episode #25: "Surprise" ~~

The Sunnydale Herald is looking for at least one new editor! Contributing to the Herald is a great way to get your Buffy on! Find out more here. If you saw the phrase "HTML template" in our previous calls for editors and that was what made you decide that Herald duties aren't for you, you may be glad to hear that we've set up an alternative posting process!

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Great Scott! (Xander, G, multiple xovers) by madimpossibledreamer

Fuffy WIP I (Buffy/Faith, unrated) by audelia-bly

Our Gentle Sin (Buffy/Spike, E) by ClowniestLivEver

[Chaptered Fiction]

So Court Me Maybe Ch. 1-4/10 (Buffy/Spike, E) by cosplayermadness

Cause I'm Beggin' Ch, 1 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Ifeelittoo21

Tua Maxima Culpa (Ensemble, M) by Coldest_Fire

Back Through the Woods Ch, 12 (Buffy/Spike, T) by desicat

Toil and Trouble part 2 () by prose-for-hire

Chain of Ascension CH. 70 (Xander, Ensemble, M) by GraeFoxx

Mother Dear (Buffy, M) by HyperCosmo

The First Apocalypse (Book Three of the Reunion Trilogy Ch. 11 (Ensemble, M) by MCorey1317

love, we're going home now, Chapter 1-2 (Buffy/Spike, E) by mcgnagallsarmy

Sacrifices, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, T) by NightlyEvilTM

Sineya Rambles, Chapter 6-8 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Desicat

Back Through The Woods, Chapter 12 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Desicat

Frosty, Chapter 11-15 (Buffy/Spike, E) by ClowniestLivEver

The DeSoto, Chapter 11-15 (Buffy/Spike, M) by ClowniestLivEver

Presumably Dead Arm, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, E) by tragic

something wretched, something precious, Chapter 6-15 (Buffy/Spike, M) by LittleTayy

We're Going to be Friends, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, M) by scratchmeout

Sparks, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Dusty

Bring Him Home, Chapter 21 (Buffy/Spike, M) by acb6293

The Neighbor's Point of View, Chapter 13 (Buffy/Spike, T) by the_big_bad

Amateur Night, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, E) by LJ94

I'm Fine, Chapter 13 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Grief Counseling

stay with me (just a little longer), Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, T) by womanaction

Mother Dear, Chapter 1-2 (Buffy/Spike, E) by CalamityJaneDoe

The Mystery Of..., Chapter 1-2 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Julikobold

Those 2 again, Chapter 19 (Buffy/Spike, G) by Julikobold

I'm Fine, Chapter 14 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Grief Counseling

The Friends We Made Along The Way Ch. 7 (Xander, DCU xover) by jarinmyheartinmyjar

Xander Harris and the Little Pink Pill Ch.2 (Xander/Cordelia, E) by KyliaQuilor

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork:SCOOBIES!!!!!!!! () by wolfstrong

[Fandom Discussions]

Anya understands self sacrifice as much as Buffy does by girl4music

Watched the remastered Once More With Feeling by aphony-cree

All the people complaining that Willow and Tara lived in Buffy’s house while she was dead by tuiyla

Maybe it is a copout to say the real Big Bad of Buffy season 6 is “life” and the difficulties that come with it, but maybe it’s also just accurate by tuiyla

the moment where spike was going to kill Buffy and sees her crying by nestaenthusiast

AU that lives in my head based on a prompt in the Sandman discord where Hob is Giles by 10moonymhrivertam, softest-punk

I read Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Lost Summer. by lilyginnyblackv2

What I think of every time a Spike fan calls Angel a “dirty old man” for being in love with and sexually attracted to Buffy when she was a teenager by hero-adjacent

Miss Anya by _a_witch_

Buffy's Brother by Mika95

Underrated Buffy Episodes by cascadingtundra

I feel Chris (Some Assembly Required) missed a trick with Willow, as he's clearly her type. by anothername1145

Blink-and-you-miss-them jokes that you love? by whatisscoobydone

I would skip the entire season 4 if it wasn't for Spike by dismustbetheplace

Did Faith ever experience the 'Tento di Cruciamentum'? by True_Ipsissimus

Anyone here who shipped Riley and Buffy? by Buffvamporigfan

Ok I’m gonna start a rewatch by gilkrave

Finally finishing Buffy. Willow and Potential Slayer question by xxpired_milk

Ugh, Kate by ImpressivePackage000

Season 4 Native American Episode hasn’t aged well by franlcie

started another rewatch of btvs and god, xander is so immature (small rant, no offense intended) by GayDHD_

buffy and giles have such great chemistry by GayDHD_

Giles' character by GreatGodInpw

American vampire villains more integrated into society such as Sunday and Harmony by rationalsilence

I want to know if there are any sexual assault episodes by lianagolucky

spike & buffy by Comfortable-One3228

God, that was heart wrenching. Possibly in the top five saddest scenes in the franchise by Mavakor

The writers were very lucky in the early seasons with spike by FullyStacked92

So, about I Fall to Pieces (1x04) by daazmu

The ghosts in Lesson 7x01 by allslayallthetime

How would you envision Buffy Summers now? by Excellent-Durian-509

Ranking Buffy's Boyfriends: Who's Really The Best For The Buff-ster? by kipcarson37

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

PUBLICATION: Buffy’s James Marsters: “I would have killed Spike off in a heartbeat” by Louise Griffin, RadioTimes.com

PUBLICATION: Why The Original, Unaired 'Buffy' Pilot Almost Ruined The Show by Digg

PUBLICATION: Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Worst Villain is Back – And on a Hellish Mission by CBR

PUBLICATION: Buffy The Vampire Slayer's Successor is Officially Taking Over in Boom! Studios by GeekTyrant

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

[sarkywoman]

Ten Songs

You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. Put your favourite playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs, then tag ten people! No skipping!

Tagged by @hucklebunny

I don’t actually have long playlists, just a few I use to write specific pairings or stories. So I’ll just whack my whole library on shuffle and have a bit of a ramble...

1. ‘Ghost Man on Third’ by Taking Back Sunday (these guys put on probably my favourite live show ever this year - no bells or whistles or gimmicks, just the frontman was so fucking charismatic and they all sounded amazing. I also made a TUA image set listening to this song.)   2. ‘Sweet Dreams’ by Eurythmics 3. ‘Win Some, Lose Some’ by Robbie Williams (what, I’m British and over 30 XD) 4. ‘Yes it’s Fucking Political’ by Skunk Anansie  5. ‘Her Ghost in the Fog’ by Cradle of Filth 6. ‘Is This Thing Cursed?’ by Alkaline Trio (saw them live this year with Taking Back Sunday. They were okay, but I think I left the gig liking TBS more and Alkaline Trio slightly less by comparison, whereas AT had previously been the closest thing I had to a fave band.) 7. ‘I’m Going Slightly Mad’ by Queen 8. ‘My Blue Heaven’ by Taking Back Sunday  9. ‘Wounds’ by Inme (saw these guys live last year for the first time and met the singer beforehand, lovely guy, he came down into the crowd to sing one of the songs, so I have a video of him stood next to me singing in a small circle of fans - such an intimate performance!) 10. ‘This is How I Disappear’ by My Chemical Romance (also got to see these guys this year because I am a very lucky noodle. Seriously, I was a teenager when MCR released their first album, then emo became a thing and I became an adherent, but I was always too broke to entertain the idea of seeing any live music. By the time I was older and able to pay my bills, the bastards had broken up and they’d been my only favourite band. Then they reunited! Then Covid. But then... they played Milton Keynes this year with Placebo supporting, it was swoon-worthy. And my sister bought me a t-shirt from the merch early on in the show, only for Mikey to be wearing that same shirt when he came onstage! Anyway, ramble over. I was just super-psyched to finally, after all these years, see MCR live.)

Anyone who wants to do this can consider themselves tagged :)

[yurikotigerisnotmaiwaifu]

Yuriko Tiger reel post 7/24/2022

[no video]  Multi language post

▪️Even with all these smiles, in truth I had depression. For many personal reasons but nobody noticed that. And yes, even living in Japan didn’t help anything (I’ve been living here for 8/9 years).

After 2 years of treatment, finally going out of that black hole reminds me: I have a great life. I’m special. I did my best for my fans, for me and my family! I was very lucky to have a couple of friends who’ve stayed with me and supported me a lot.

That’s it. Don’t judge someone by their appearance. The real enemy was only myself. I hated myself so much and I would only show the great parts of my life but it’s not great all the time. And that’s fine.

Now, I look forward to coming back to Japan (I’m temporarily in San Diego) and do my best again.

♡ #livinginjapan #japanlife #cosplayer #anime #tokyo #日本

🇮🇹 (se qualcuno non avesse capito) mi hanno diagnosticato la depressione un paio di anni fa. La depressione non è solo “sentirsi tristi” e non la vedi / senti… È qualcosa che ti divora dentro e tutti i problemi / traumi che hanno cercato di sopprimere durante l’infanzia, tornano a galla come un uragano ma senza mai mostrarlo! Per “diagnosticato” non intendo “ho guardato su internet” ma che sono andata in terapia, preso farmaci e fatto un percorso psicologico molto lungo e solo da qualche mese, sembra che stia migliorando molto! Da un po’ non faccio più uso di nessun farmaco (tranne per dormire ma quello è un problema che ho da sempre) e la minima dose per stabilizzare l’umore. Tutto il resto è stato un percorso mentale! Mi avevano detto “è strano che non ti sia buttata nella droga” perché i miei problemi personali, sono ben più pesanti di quelli che pensate e proprio per questo, non voglio (almeno non ancora) condividerli con voi. “MA SEI IN GIAPPONE DI COSA TI LAMENTI” in realtà me lo ha alimentato! Non vuol dire che sei sei nel paese dei tuoi sogni, non puoi essere depressi ! Amo il Giappone ma sono decisamente stata sfortunata, trovando delle persone a me tossiche che hanno alimentato le mie insicurezze.

Non giudicare mai un libro dalla copertina. Non credevo a queste cose finché non mi ha preso. Chiedete aiuto! Siamo umani ed è normali essere complessi. Posso solo ringraziarvi per essermi sempre stato vicino, nonostante avessi perso per alcuni “la magia” (ovvero la felicità che trasmettevo). Ricordatevi che il peggior nemico è la tua mente e come reagisti alle emozioni!